#I am so gay it's not even funny anymore

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

I am fucking speechless.

He is so FUCKING hot with this haircut, holy mother of christ

AND THE EARRING? HELLO?

[thedarkkitten]

Haven't changed my mind since I was eleven

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

UHHH UHH UHHHHH MPREG NIKTO BE UPON YOU 💥💥💥💥.

NSFW FOR A BIT, LIKE ONE PARAGRAPH. ALSO INTERNALIZED FATPHOBIA AND HATE AND IDK NIKTO CALLING HIMSELF AN UGLY BASTARD BUT ALSO WANTING TO BE YOUR HOUSEWIFE IF THAT MAKES SENSE IDK ALSO SOME LACTATION. BECAUSE Y'KNOW. AWOOGA HONKERS MOMMY MILKERS??? BUT ALSO SAD EMOTIONAL NIKTO CAUSE I LOVE HIM.

Mpreg Nikto who gets even more chubby during pregnancy and is just so soft :(. Thighs and chest filling out more while he complains about his tits leaking into his clothes :((.

Nikto who barely even goes out when his body gets so hormonal, just grinding himself over and between your thighs, hands pulling at your scalp while you suck at his tits. Whining harshly through pained breaths whenever you spell out your name on his tits :((.

Clawing at your back whenever he comes, drenching your pants even more than his arousal already has.

Nails leaving small marks of his across your neck, being hormonal enough to weep softly at his own actions while he helps you clean up and dress the wounds. :(.

"We apologize", but he's sobbing so softly and sadly you can't even be mad at him. Only hugging him close and tighter while he silently cries into your shoulder :(.

—

Nikto who will never get used to being taken care of even as much as his body needs it, only tolerating it as much as he is soft for your touch.

"Ah I can-"

"Nonsense, let me do it."

"If you don't let me, I am going to yell."

"Understandable."

Happy and content that he is to fold the clothes. Letting himself turn into your housewife while you work just to keep himself calm and stable, at least he's found a few hobbies in his once in a lifetime break, what a relief.

Though he's much more relaxed while he is at home it doesn't mean he's sane, he tells you what he does in his day but he doesn't tell you how much he misses you outside of the normal emotions he deals with.

"I have missed you", but he doesn't mention how he almost threw up because you weren't there and you weren't ever going to return because he is an ugly fat bastard-

"I love you", but he doesn't mention how his heart rips up the inside of his cage just to try and get to you. Bloody and ravenous in all his ways while he holds you as tight as he can without hurting the baby, chest to chest and he breathes that he'll be okay.

"I've made dinner", and he'll scream inside his head how much he hates that you've made him into what he is. Soft, desperate and dependant on you, as if any second without your mere presence drives him crazy and it does. But at least he has someone to talk to while you're away. The meds will hurt the child eitherway.

"Thank you", but he'll never say how much it feels right for you to milk him dry, drinking him out like he was your only source of water. He'll never say how right it felt to feed you every day of every night, just your sweet little housewife to provide and take care for you.

—

Nikto who likes it when you put a hand on his belly before you sleep. Resting your head on his shoulder and another around his back. Legs intertwined and just nestled up and wrapped around you. Sleeping comfortably for the first time in a long time, tilting his head purposefully just to connect with yours. Pulling you closer by your back just enough so your chests connect.

××××××××××××××××××××××x x××××××××××××××××××××××

Masterlist

[thatonejingyuanenthusiast]

would you rather live a week with orange cat behaviour jingyuan or lazy little cloud jingyuan. explain your reasoning because both are precious.

BECAUSE

I can't chose. Any variation of Jing Yuan is welcomed here

A menace Jing Yuan that's always trying to piss you off or tease you to death? How could I refuse!

And a calm, cozy, cuddly Jing Yuan? Sign me up!

Besides, what's better than one Jing Yuan?

TWO JING YUANS!

[julesnichols]

Book Jules nsfw: overalls with nothing else underneath

Show Jules nsfw: no hardhat or ear muffs in the generator

[binah-beloved]

binah awakened something in me, like she makes me feel emotions that a year ago I didn't think a fictional character could make me feel. angebinah fanfic is like 90% of the reason I'm a deranged himejoshi today.

i'm not sure what a himejoshi is but i'm happy for you

same though, i didn't think it was possible to love a character so much but here i am

[girlscience]

i know people make jokes about the whole toxic homoerotic friendship of your teenage years but that shit fucks you up for life

[t4tstarvingdog]

what if i got scared in the. coffee shop

[thanksfortheflaglove]

.

[aria0fgold]

I don't know what I'm doing with this fic's story anymore at this point, I'm just doing feck all but somehow it's also so fun to just... make it a lil wacky.

[total-drama-takes]

I MISS GEORGE EZRA

like the .. musican guy?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend out after a party after he very Frenchly insulted our cooking?

I (25M) am dating J (27M), and we live together. For the most part he's wonderful, super sweet, and perhaps the most French man living today. He's a walking stereotype, right down to the sexiness. He's Parisian (we live in the states) and has a huge obsession with wine and cheese, and I'll be honest, he can be pretty snobby. He was raised by some well to do old money family that disowned him when they found out he was gay and it shows. He has a few antiquated ideas of what America is like, especially when it comes to food. Anything that has roots he doesn't recognize gets criticized. It's a classism problem, we recognize that, and he is trying to work on it. He slips up sometimes.

We went to a housewarming party two nights ago. It was a potluck deal and I brought a beef chili I had been working on for like two days, it was my pride and joy, and J didn't even have anything bad to say to me about it.

Anyway, an hour or so into the party we went to get food. He had a few glasses of wine, so he wasn't quite thinking straight. It turns out somebody brought homemade Frito pie (and pretty fancy frito pie too, with jalapeños and sour cream and pico de gallo, it was amazing and delicious and I am still dreaming about it), I'm southwestern and it was a staple for me growing up so I tripped over myself trying to get at it. He noticed how eager I was and scoffed at me. I asked what was so funny, and he said it was baffling that I'd go for that first since it was "comically American, down to the fried chips riddled in it." I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

Turns out the friend who made it was standing a few feet away and overheard him. She told us that she worked super hard on making the chili and cooking the pie, and if he didn't like it, he didn't have to have any. I was so fucking mortified I felt like dying. I apologized on his behalf and we stayed for a bit longer, but I was so embarrassed and angry that we left about an hour after that. I couldn't make myself have a good time. As a bit of an apology I left our friend a container of the chili I made and said if she wanted to make a pie out of it I'd be honored, and she happily accepted.

This is where I may be TA. As soon as we got in the car I blew up at him. I told him that he disrespected my culture, my cooking, my taste, and worst of all, embarrassed me in front of a friend and insulted something that brought her joy. I said "if you see Americans as so lazy, stupid, fat, and disgusting, then why are you even living here? Why the fuck do you even wanna be with me? Am I just the only good one to you?" I was laying into him for about 5 minutes. It was the worst fight we'd ever been in, not that we get in many.

He got really quiet after that and just muttered out an "I'm sorry." We were silent the ride home and we went straight to bed when we got there. I even heard him sniffling when we were trying to fall asleep, which was heartbreaking and started to make me feel like I'd fucked up, too. He's been distant for the last few days and I feel like I need to apologize.

Do I? Was I TA? I just got so upset that I couldn't take it anymore. I really love him and I just keep worrying that any second he's gonna say he wants to break up, and I never want that to happen. Any advice is appreciated.

[mamaclownhunter]

As a writer- I am turning SQH in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

He has a golden core but his spiritual presence is very weak (this makes for great spy work as he can move undetected)

He has a very short temper but fucking has killer customer service

This man can fucking multitask he has machinations on schemes on tasks and he is fucking good

While SQ has a better handle on the lore SQH made the world- idk if you ever world built before but even if you can’t pull it out of the top of your head it is there and I have a really fucking funny idea that like some times SQH BS’ stuff like he will be like “idk there is probably a “purple dragon fang” flower that like- makes you wanna bite people in this area- and sure enough there is bc SQH thought of it and it is his world.

SQH fucking knows his people- so funny he forgets demon cultures but that is what SQ is for (I love LBH pointing out MBJ’s crush but LBH was raised by human and goes to humans for advise on flirting with SQ so I don’t think he instinctively knows Demon’s courting rules- but MR I know fucking all the lore and how demons flirt bc that was Sha Hualing’s plot device to introduce Meng mo and also wife 20-29# Erica- plus he is a gossip monger- he knows all the details and knows MBJ is married to SQH and he is such an asshole he only tells LBH so he can keep getting updates for his husband to see)

LBH is the hero- but SQH is the creator. While he can’t beat LBH through brute force he has the ability to get around the plot armor. After all- all stories need the hero to be beat every once in a while! He can’t outright kill LBH but he does know all weaknesses and limits. That is his son

While the human realm (outside his disciples who are much more cut throat now bc of him) doesn’t really see the appeal of- demons are fucking intimidated by the King of the North’s consort. SQH made a fucking name for himself ordering demons, being untouchable outside consort SQ. But he is nasty and fierce and since they are demons SQH doesn’t feel as bad lashing out (not physically)

SQH knows his characters too. Mostly canon but I love that idea that to an outsider SQH knowing your name before anyone tells him is a red flag he has his invisible fingers in your pie- no one knows how he is so successful ofc (weak core) but no if he really knows someone by face it is bc he spent a week screaming in a pillow coming up with a voice and thought process.

The world of PIDW/SV is a complex beautiful world- per SY SQH is fucking talented but he had to eat- the man can tell and weave a story like a champion if put on the spot, he could be a DM. But SQH is very cautious bc he doesn’t know if he can accidentally make stuff

He doesn’t write much anymore which sucks bc that is a huge comping mechanism and reliever before it became his biggest stresser

That being said when he does realize he is a queen and has some time off- he writes again. For himself. For Mobei, never for SY but he gets copies all the same. But since he isn’t worried about food or money any more… he writes what he wants and lets that talent flow. He is annoyed the RPF is still popular smut but SQH had insane complex beautiful mysteries and fascinating war.

He brought up ripping off Harry Potter but make it gay and no fucking golden snitch. SQ fans himself and says “knowing you it will be done in three days I will be happy to read.”

He still writes shitting porn even after he loses his v card.

But his other works are inspired and SQ is furious he could have had this as a story and not PIDW how DARE YOU

sQH refuses to write anything for the PIDW/Sv world. All his books take place somewhere else- in the “future”- fantasy- just not in this world so he doesn’t add more to their crazy world

I have more but I am so tired

[noa-nightingale]

Spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine ahead. (Possibly. It's probably just a bunch of rambling.)

My first question is, how in the world do straight people experience this movie. I am not saying anything new when I say that the man ain't straight but I think you can't dismiss... all of this as "haha gay joke funny" anymore.

Like, for example, when the TVA agents show up at his door for the first time - I think the pegging joke was in one of the trailers and I expected it to stay at that but it doesn't. He gives them this entire speech, ifykyk, and the thing is, I don't think he is joking. I think he is being serious. ("I am not a natural bottom", he says. Are you sure about that? Because I saw you flat on your back in that Honda with Wolverine on top of you, and you enjoyed it.)

I don't even have to go into the entire car fight scene. There is already a ton of fan art about it, God bless all you beautiful artists, I am going to reblog a bunch of it once I am done with this post.

He also said that Paradox should contact his boss and tell "him or her or them" etc. And I don't think it was played as a joke.

Aaand he refers to 'the gays' (honorific) later in the movie and it's like. Wade. Wade. Wade, you are the gays, umbrella term.

GOD this movie. Also, the soundtrack is just banger after banger. I am so glad I saw this. Last time I saw a movie at the cinema it was in early 2020 and I am SO GLAD I went there again. It did not feel like 2+ hours. It was so fun and fast and emotional, and I loved it.

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating sanji edition

— modern! au , so fun , slight nsfw bc sanji is funny like that ig LMFAO

— SANJI X MALE READER one of my favorite pairings to ever cross the universe

liked by [name]s.chef, uso_pp, 9k others

lvrboy[name]: oh my god hes so fine someone give me this guys' number

[name]s.chef: BEAUTIFUL BOY MY NUMBER IS XXX-XXX-XXXX PLEASE SAVE MY CONTACT AS PRINCE SANJI I WILL ALWAYS BE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL

-> dni_nami: no fucking way, why did this guy just leak his number TO HIS OWN BOYFRIEND

uso_pp: the day sanji doesn't comment in all caps to his boyfriends posts is the day the apocolypse comes

-> roro.zoro: fr why he always yelling at him....

-> freeluffy: sanji is so aggressive to his own boyfriend, should we help [name]? -> [name]s.chef: YOU MORONS HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE AND IT SHOWS

-> uso_pp: ruhroh he angry

love.pudding: is he single?

-> [name]s.chef: I AM A GAY MAN AND IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND - I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE ELSE BUT MY LOVER, I AM A LOYAL MAN TO MY BOYFRIEND. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME OR HIM IF YOU WISH TO DATE EITHER OF US. WE ARE DEEPLY IN LOVE AND ALWYS WILL BE.

[liked by lvrboy[name]]

liked by freeluffy, dni_nami, boahancock, and 10k others

[name]s.chef: I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY HES THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM

tagged: lvrboy[name]

dni_nami: never seen you smile that wide before

-> roro.zoro: i wish i never saw it, it's terrifying

-> [name]s.chef: i fucking hate you, dont interact with any of my posts you idiot

-> [lvrboyname]: holy shit whenever you guys breathe do you have to insult each other

-> [name]s.chef: I WON'T ANYMORE MY BABY

SUPERCOLA: do you guys remember when sanji said he hated [name] and rejected the idea of being in love with him.

-> lvrboy[name]: LMFAOAOOA

-> {name]s.chef: that wasnt me, that was my evil twin that was plotting on my downfall.

liked by [name]s.chef, roro.zoro, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: personal bottle boy <3

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: until the bed breaks. as many rounds as you want, any position you want, anything.

-> dni_nami: sanji please be fucking normal challenge

[liked by roro.zoro and 100 others]

dr.law: is this sanitary???

-> lvrboy[name]: deez nuts in your mouth are about to be sanitary

-> [name]s.chef: TELL HIM BABY TELL HIM !!!

-> dr.law: this shit doesnt even make sense ???

liked by [name]s.chef, lvrboy[name], and 15k others

freeluffy: i can't eat when sanji is making out with [name] across from me. i'm never going out with these two again.

tagged: [name]s.chef and lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: LMFAO i thought it was known to never go out with sanji and [name]? sanji just ends up ignoring you and only paying attention to [name]

-> [name]s.chef: and that's the way it should be. who else should i pay attention to when my beautiful, handsome, erethral boyfriend is right in front of me?

robinkills: i have never heard luffy sound so serious before, what did you two do to him?

-> roro.zoro: probably traumatize him

lvrboy[name]: i'm sorry lu, i'll make it up to you sometime

-> freeluffy: pay for my meals on campus for a week straight :D

-> lvrboy[name]: i'll pay for it for two weeks, i'm really sorry luffy </3

-> [name]s.chef: DONT STEAL MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT I'LL SKEWER YOU ALIVE

roro.zoro: i think i vomitted in my mouth a little bit, happy for you guys ig.

-> lvrboy[name]: thank you...?

liked by [name]s.chef, dr.law, and 10k others

lvrboy[name]: my bby in crop tops >>>

tagged: [name]s.chef

[name]s.chef: I WILL WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, I'LL WEAR. I HAVE EYES FOR NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!

-> lvrboy[name]: i love you so much muah

SUPERCOLA: sanji and [name] stop making out challenge literally fucking impossible.

[liked by dni_nami, uso_pp, and 90 others]

-> skullnsoul: they're so funny

liked by lvrboy[name], roro.zoro, and 14k others

[name]s.chef: my beautiful boy suprised me by preparing me food with his own recipe today, i think i could cry genuine tears. you guys don't understand how happy i am that i found him and am now able to call him mine. i will love [name] until my last breath. i am so, so lucky.

tagged: lvrboy[name]

uso_pp: okay i guess this was a cute post or whatever.

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 100 others]

lvrboy[name]: sanji i'm gonna cry :< i love u sm too

-> [name]s.chef: pls dont cry my love

ttchopper: my favorite couple, you two are so sweet!

roro.zoro: cant even say anything mean, this is very heartwarming

-> lvrboy[name]: sanji won't tell you this but he giggled and kicked his feet when he read this.

lvrboy[name]'s story

my boyfriend's so fucking sexy-

[name]s.chef replied to your story: CAN I KISS YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO BED SO I CAN KISS YOU PLEASE CAN I KISS YOU CAN I PLEASEEE-

[applejuicewerewolf]

Just watched M27 (in cinema! That was cool!!) And oh boy, thoughts!

First of all, I was sooo excited to watch this anime movie in an actual cinema, with other people who were also there to watch an anime movie (in an actual real cinema). Idk, I often still feel like liking anime is something embarrassing, even tho it becomes more and more mainstream, so seeing 20 or so people who also openly announced that they liked it was amazing.

Now, to the actual content of the film:

Love Love LOVE Heiji and Kaito's dynamic here. He was so angry that he drove his fucking motorbike through a window!!

The fact that the KaiShin same face thing is something Heiji is surprised by is very weird, considering that he knew that Kaito always disguises as Shinichi in movies (and yes, the movies have their own continuity, see the fireworks-soccer-ball!!)

Additionally, I watched this film in the German dub. In German, Conan and Shinichi have the same VA, and Ksito has a different one. Still, Heiji makes a note of Kaito sounding similar to Conan (their German VAs do NOT sound similar!!!)

(On that note, they replaced the German VA for Kogoro and I am scared to google why :(( )

Also in the German introduction, Conan LITERALLY calls Kaito his "fated rival" ("schicksalhafter Gegenspieler"), which is very gay for the movie that completely reveals them as cousins.

Kaito feeding seagulls. Just that. It was funny. This is what happens when he has to leave his doves at home. He is a disney princess but only for birds.

Loved the scene where Kaito was attacked while on the ground and was shown to be out of his depth. Catch him on the ground and he is a wingless bird.

Additionally loved that scene because Heiji and Conan jumped in to save him. Their dynamic was so good, with Heiji attacking front and center, Kaito trying to shoot the attacker, and Conan coming clutch with his soccer ball. These three are so much fun together, and I love how throughout the movie they hunt Kaito in one scene, and work with him in the next.

They also alway immediately recognize his disguises??? That was hilarious. These three are one the same wavelenght and I'm all for it.

Oh speaking of disguises, I am VERY surprised nobody even mentioned Okita being the third same face triplet. Would've probably taken away from the KaiShin cousins reveal, I guess?

Minor mention: idgaf about Momiji and I never will. Useless character. Why does she even exist at all. Focus on the main characters...

Okay, I cannot keep quiet about it anymore. The entire "Ginzo gets shot" scene was THE BEST THING EVER. Kaito literally reliving the trauma of losing his parental figure again, and being unable to even SHOW IT OR VISIT HIM? Him having to silently watch as Aoko (MY GIRL IS ON THE BIG SCREEN I ALMOST CHEERED) is going through this all alone??? She probably was still in Ekoda. Did she get a phone call and was flown in to Hokkaido? WHERE THE FUCK IS MIDORIKO IN THIS?!?!?! GOD. This scene. I want 500 character studies of this scene on my desk by tomorrow morning.

That being said, with the Toichi reveal at the end, NOT ONLY did Kaito hide his emotions as he visited his mortally injured father figure in the hospital, his actual father was RIGHT THERE??? TOICHIIII YOU RAT BASTARD I WILL KILL YOU!

Why even WAS Toichi there. Legit. Ugh, I wanna do this in chronological order.

Anyways, AOKO SCREENTIME MY BELOVEEEEED

I feel like she was underused tho. Her only contribution was calling Conan Kaito's twin, and that was it. Feel like that's a running theme with DetCo focusing too much on random murder of the day and not its actual characters (something that also HIGHLY annoyed me during the Scarlet Schooltrip >_<)

Speaking of, that plotpoint was also kinda never mentioned again after the half point of the movie?

Coming towards the end of the story, the car chase with like 5 different parties through the city was hilarious. This is the stupid Shounen action I expect from DetCo movies (but not the stupidest Shounen action we'll get!)

As for the actual plot, I don't really care for that in DetCo movies, I'm more interested in the established characters doing fun and wacky shit.

Also so not a fan of the "murderer misunderstands or misreads a situation, making their murders pointless" storylines in DetCo. Tho M19 was probably the worst one in that reguard (girl what!)

Okay, so the Kendo guy. His mother died to a bombstrike, so he wants to blow up a mountain with lots of civillians on it. Because he's anti war. Girl what.

And now to the peak of Stupid Shounen Battles: swordfight atop a flying airplane, one of the combattants wears no shoes.

Absolutely LOVED Kaito catching Heiji midair. He does it with Conan, he did it with Heiji. Hakuba, you're next.

Sure, Iori just randomly DROPPED A FLASHBANG right in front of Heiji and Kazuha. Tho shout out to my girl Kazuha who was quick and smart enough to cover Heiji's ears as she "Get down Mr President"ed him.

At this point, shoutout to Ran. She gives it her all to make this Ship a thing. Loved her "casually but ominously deduce Heiji's true intentions" thing she did. Go be a love detective, honey!

Okay, the after credit scene. VERY NATURAL REVEAL you guys did there. Just casually have Yusaku suddenly say "yes, my wife whom I have been married to for at least 18 years, I have a twin brother i haven't seen in 2 decades." Wow.

HE REGULARLY TEXTS TOICHI??? TOICHI WHO FAKED HIS DEATH. THEY TEXT! THEY! TEXT!

YOUR SON BELIEVES YOU DEAD AND WANTS TO AVENGE YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

WHY WERE YOU THERE! WHY WERE YOU IN DIGUISE THIS ENTIRE TIME!

I HATE TOICHI EVEN MORE NOW WTF

Conan kill your uncle with a soccer ball please.