#I am so broken

[princess-from-another-galaxy]

Finale!! Let’s go!! (Gonna write as I watch)

1)The scene with Luke was so cute but also a little creepy. What was up with that?? Also!! The initial narration of episode 1 is Percy quoting Luke?!?! My heart, I love them so much 🥺

2)Omg!! The fight was good af! Did... did Walker's eyes change color???? Not Ares trying to kill them with his " true form" as a last resort, sore loser.

3) mom??? Bro, you just saw her statue in the Underworld.... holy shit!!! Mrs. Dodds!!! The helm looks cool af ngl. Percy is so cool, like damn. Oh, yeah, the deadline passed, which means Poseidon & Zeus are definitely at war!!! That's what started WW2?!?! Gods being petty bitches... damn... He's done running from monsters 😭 (I love the implication that Zeus is a monster. You're right and you should say it.) Annabeth gave him her necklace 😭😭😭, that's so cute. An email, Grover 😂😂

4) That's one way to get Zeus's attention, damn. Just dropped the bolt in front if the doorman 😂😂. What do mortals see when they see the bolt??

5) Olympus looks cool af!! Oh, Luke & Percy again! Annabeth is terrified of spiders! Things that are small and scary get squished. Oh Luke is in his big brother mentor era!! Love to see it!

6) the council room!! The thrones look cool af, I can't wait to see all of the God's sitting on it! Oh, I have no idea how they're going to replace the actor, he is perfect as Zeus!! Yes!! Read him to filth Percy!!!! Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poseidon surrended for Percy 😭😭😭😭, I'm- Oh, Toby Stephens always eat. Omg!!! They're speaking Greek!! Is it Greek Greek or ancient Greek. Does anyone speak ancient Greek. Everyone?? What are Apollo, Artemis, Dionysus, and Demeter??? 😭

7) Percy and Poseidon!! Omg! Patrus 😭😭. Poseidon's smile about Sally... Bro... Ares is a moron 😂😂 (they've done the family vibe of the Olympians so well! 😂). Answer the question, Poseidon!!! Do you dream about her!?!?!

8) I wonder if thet planted that tree specifically to be Thalia's tree or if they just found a cool tree they liked lol. They hugged!! Holy shit, Clarisse is still here??? What is happening?!?!?

9) Luke being a responsible leader! We stan!! Annabeth being all cool, I see her!

10) fireworks! So cool!! The mommy issues in Luke are through the roof. Wait does Luke look like he's crying?? Wait what??? What do you mean she didn't???? Wait what?!?! Wtf. Luke?!?! No. LUKE SAY SOMEGHING! NOT THAT!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?! HOLY SHIT. IM CRYING. NO.

Oh, he's making some good points. This are some valid points. Episode 1 Percy would be eating this up ngl. I mean, not to be a bitch, but like... Luke sounds like those girls that have been groomed... all like "he loves me! He's gonna take care of me!" Like... are you sure???

Are they trying their best Percy?? Are they really?? I'm not an expert, but maybe don't mention his dad to the kid you know has daddy issues, if you don't want him to kill you, just a thought. I kinda of want Percy to say he's and go apeshit on the Gods ngl. He apologized for hurting Luke 😭😭😭. Wait, what??? Annabeth!! No!! 😭😭😭 she heard everything, Luke's face, my heart 😭😭😭 I was not ready for all of this emotion

11) Armed escort lol. He doesn't want you dead, he wants you next to him. Very persuasive... sounds manipulative to me.... Mr D! He's funny af. I'm 90% sure it's Peter😂. I don't think so 😂. Kicking them all out, I can't, bro...

12) Annabeth is going to see her dad?!?! Omg her hair looks so cute!! Her talking to Thalia's tree is cute. Her dad is taking her to Disney world 😭😭. Percy telling her to be a kid 😭😭😭 Grover is gonna search for Pan!! Percy is gonna help him search the seas!! (The next one is called sea of monsters right?? Maybe that's the "main quest"???) The hug!!! 😭

13) I hadn't realized it earlier, the beach is Montauk!! Where his mom went missing! It's the beach house they came to. She's here!!!! Look at her!!!! 😭😭 hugging her baby boy 😭😭wait what??? No, Sally!! Where are you?!?! Wait, is that kronos?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? Is he sassying time itself?!?!!?! Bro.... 😭😂😭😂😂 what does he mean?!?!?! What?!?!

14) Sally!!!!!! She's here!!! The fact that he's only just starting 7th grade is wild... he's baby. Percy calling Kronos grandpa, I can't 😂😂. Sally is done with Percy's shit , I can't. "Kronos, Lord of the Titans, said that?" I love her 😂

15) blue pancakes?? They look good af ngl. It's a storm!! Poseidon is also there for Percy's first day of school 🥺. Didn't percy have a step-dad?? The asshole one? What happened to him??

16) oh, there he is. What an asshole. Sally changed the locks 😂. Good for her!! What a dick. Wait.. is that.... is that Medusa??? Omg! Holy shit!! That's hilarious!! 😂😂 good riddance!!!

I have no words. I need a new season now!!! This was by far my new favorite episode!! I love this so much!!! I'm heart broken. I need more!!!

[sebastianravkin]

Because some days, everything is them

BETWEEN THE SHADOW AND THE SOUL by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

[yukinohoshikuzu]

finished watching Book of Circus.

…my heart is in pieces.

[spookytransgirl]

.

[submalevolentgrace]

instant noodle cooking instructions are incredibly ambitious for something that, to my mind at least, is poverty mental illness food

you want me to boil you on the stovetop, and then stir fry you in a lightly oiled wok with chopped vegetables of my choice?

i'm sure that's a great meal for many people whose lives are fulfilling, but i'm 3.5 unbearable traumas into this life of mine and in too much pain to sleep, you're lucky i'm not eating you from the torn open packet like mamee monster

[keys2mymadness]

Christmas 2023

I never pictured Christmases as an adult like this. Never in a million years did I envision there’d be Christmas that was full of me staring at the blankness of a bedroom wall- surrounded by mundane silence. Soreness in my body from taking on the world and carrying, for others, things to fill the void of this emptiness so they don’t have to experience this level of solemn.

Unfortunately my year has left me a bit too spent to cater and help them avoid all of it- I don’t have the energy to rescue and assist 🛟 them like I normally would. The year has torn from me every bit of extra energy, time and strength I could muster. There are no Christmas carols in my home this year. No tree. No lights. No joy. There hasn’t been in years.

I managed gifts for some others- and that’s all I could manage. The last few Christmases have been like this. Sorrow, tears, some booze to bear the piercing sadness I notice in my eyes when I look in the mirror -or at myself in photos. I can’t even look back at them during the year without my heart sinking. This year is no different. Why I thought it would be is beyond me.

I don’t think I have another year in me. 2024 I’m not ready.

[gothmothic]

got cheated on and broken up with how is yalls thursday night going

[crushy-wushy]

we will wait like dutiful wives until then

When will my husband (Ao3) return from war (is up again)

[canyouseeme13]

I know it's over. And I know that's for the best. But the stupid smallest part of me still wants him to wake up and tell me how bad he fucked up last night and that he didn't mean the shit that he said. I don't know why. I know I can't take him back even if he did. Why am I like this?

My brain is so fucking tired, I wish I could shut it off for just a bit. I haven't slept. I can't sleep. The next couple weeks are going to be hell. Which pisses me off so much because it's the very end of layoff season and I should be able to enjoy this time.

On top of him absolutely breaking my heart last night, I decided it's time to finally admit to myself and my friends and family that I'm an alcoholic and I need to stop. I dumped every last bit of alcohol that I own down the drain. And screamed and cried the whole fucking time. I've needed to do this for a long time, and it was never going to happen while I was with him.

[imheretocryandiwill]

so, like, its in my name. It is kinda easy to make me cry, especially with good music. I cant even listen to Nighglow with straight face, and I havent played HI3 yet.

And being such a sobby disappointment, I prefer to treasure the pain some art brings me. And Epic The Troy saga is 90% pain.

It is based on Odyssey, and I needed something to listen while studying ancient Greece literature. Was it a good choise as background music - god no, but it is a great work.

The Troy saga consists of 5 songs, with most famous one being "Warrior of the mind", say hello and thank you to geshin fandom (thats how i found these as well). Interestingly enough, this song does stand out in this album (at least for me) being the least emotional. But it is called warrior of the mind, and the action takes place in the long gone past, not connected to the main drama.

Main drama being ODYSSEUS KILLING AN INFANT.

In the first one, The Horse and the Infant, is epic start with catchy chorus right before Zeus tells that the only way Odysseus can have his happily ever after is to kill this baby now. Gotta say that Odysseus has a son, whom he only seen as an infant because he had to go to the war. And he is a loving father and genuinly a good man, so you can imagine his shock and pain.

I'd rather bleed for ya, down on my knees for ya  I'm begging please - Oh, this is the will of the gods

One thing I learned is that in antient greece the will of the gods is a law, and anyone denying that will suffer. So Odysseus really has no choise if he wants his family to survive.

The second song "Just a man" is heartbreaking. The singer has so much warmth, love and pain in his voise, its just incredible.

When does a man become a monster? Forgive me, I'm just a man

Full speed ahead and Open Arms have a memory of that deed, like how Odysseis said

We should try to find a way no one ends up dead

and how he even sounds different, sadder and calmer then before.

Listen to this songs, come join me in my crying, it is gorgeously sad.

P, S. I will fight for Polites with my life, he is such a sunshine.

[shinesurge]

did yall know cricut put a metal strip in the back of their newer Maker 3 that doesn't do anything except pop out after like six months of regular use and force you to call customer service so they can tell you to replace the machine

well they did and instead of calling them and replacing an entire functional fucking machine you can just cut the bar out and put tape over what's left

fuck offfff,

[sncrly0urs]

THIS MADE MY HEART ACHE.

࿐ ࿔*:･ A SKY OF LIES.

୨ genre ୧ angst, no comfort, he’s using you so he could save your other self in philos, based on xavier’s lore

: your face was the exact same as i recalled – but i couldn’t feel for you what i once did. you’re a splitting image of what once was, and perhaps if it weren’t for that, i wouldn’t be drawn to you at all.

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ note ! okay this one kinda hurt me

you let out a bittersweet chuckle as you slowly started to process everything you just found out. it was all too much up to the point you didn’t even know what emotion you should feel first – was it anger over only being appreciated for having a striking resemblance with the fragments of someone else, was it pain over knowing none of it was real and you were the only one building a future with him inside the little bubble in your head, or was it jealousy over finding out his feelings weren’t directed towards you at all the whole time? maybe it was everything all at once.

you weren’t even supposed to be rummaging through xavier’s drawer of files and papers and everything else similar, to be fair. a few minutes ago, you were just tossing out every piece of clothing he had neatly stacked inside his closet because you couldn’t find a shirt of his that fits you, but one thing led to another, and now here you were.

at first, you were feeling a mixture of confusion and shock when you opened one of the folders and saw yourself looking like some sort of royalty – and what made you even more bewildered was seeing your name written right beside the photo. this document must have existed for a long time already, given how smudged the words were.

���queen of philos.”

you knew you were supposed to close the folder and put it back its rightful place then, yet you couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it than what it led on. you flipped the first page – and that was when it all started.

apparently, there was an exact duplicate of yourself in another universe named philos – honestly, at this point, you’re starting to have second thoughts if you were the duplicate.

philos was where xavier was originally from, and that’s when you started to piece everything – it perfectly explains why he seems to be shrouded in a cloud of mystery.

much like yourself, your royalty version was tangled up in a problem regarding a heart condition, and xavier needed a specific type of protocore in order to save your other version and his universe at the same time. for hundreds of years, xavier has jumped from one universe to another, desperately trying to find the only thing that could save the two things that mattered to him the most from disappearing.

and it just so happens that the protocore he needed was the one engraved in your heart.

so none of it was real, then? those days you spent taking care of each other’s wounds after defeating wanderers, those mornings you spent nuzzling into each other’s arms with a shared blanket, those afternoons you spent yelling at him and accusing him for cheating just because he keeps winning the video game you two were playing, the nights you spent stargazing at the balcony of his apartment – it was all but a fragment of your imagination.

you heard footsteps gradually becoming more audible with each step, and so you quickly put the folder back where you first found it. you wiped your tears with the fabric of your shirt, trying to fix yourself up as soon as possible.

the moment he opened the door, he found you laying down on his bed with your eyes closed. you heard him quietly chuckle as he walked towards you, and you fought so hard not to burst into a fit of emotions the moment you felt his lips softly touch your forehead.

“i’m so glad to have you by my side.”

sure he was.

♡ , cupidswan.

[jo-the-cosmic-being]

Okay, I never said I was the smartest but… did I just tried to pause a book?!?!?

[periwinklesex]

I feel like I keep seeing signs to leave my abuser but I don’t even have the motivation or energy to get out of bed most days. I feel so defeated.

[skunkes]

the restrained sniffer

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid