#I am powering through the fear and posting stuff because why not

[gods-perfect-idiots]

Just a study of Wolverine's Emotional Support Degenerate 💛❤️

[ash-says]

Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:

1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.

2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.

3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.

4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.

5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.

6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.

7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.

8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.

9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.

10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Something I would just like to get off my chest...

Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.

I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!

My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.

The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?

And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.

Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.

[lains-reality]

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.”[source]

please give yourself the grace of forgetting, of being sad, of failing, of fearing. you are allowed to. all is Self. you are okay now and here.

allow yourself to look at the insecurities, shame, guilt and fears.

give yourself the chance to respond, not react.

let vanessa be. vanessa is just a person like anyone else. thinks they are born and will die. every vanessa, no matter how well off they are, is scared shitless. but you treat your vanessa so badly.

you hate it. you want it gone. you see the body and mind as a cage without a key. it hurts. you curse it and nothing changes. you try to convince it and nothing changes. you curse it more.

It is not a matter of enduring, it is a matter of you being so crude to Vanessa, and expecting so much of her when she has no power. Do you feel the same way about the homeless man on the street corner? Do you constantly chastise him in your head, blame him for his circumstances? Even if you are the kind of person to judge based on appearances, you do for a moment and move on with your life. That's because you never thought he was you so how could you feel pain on his behalf? You may do the opposite and feel bad for his situation for a bit, but you still leave the matter alone as he's none of your business and you have your own things to worry about. - post source

vanessa is doing the best it can. it sings, dances, loves! it bleeds, it shudders, it hurts. all is the wide expression of Self.

and yet you hide from the pain, from the hurt, from the thoughts, the feelings. this is not the fullness of Self.

forgive yourself. let go of the shame and guilt. stop shaming vanessa for exsiting just like any other person in the street. stop carrying all responsibilities of the world. it's already taken care of.

you breathe with no help, you shit with no help, you eat with no help, you sleep with no help. and even if you do need help, the inability to do so, happens without your help. your amazon package comes through, your sibling grows 2 cm, the sun rises and falls, the seasons pass by. all by itself. what's orchestrating it all? Self. what other reason have we given ourself the world, other than out of love?

Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it. - post source

its already out of vanessa's hands. vanessa can't do anything. let that be a celebration: all is taken care of. unconditonally.

"why is it all taken care of?"

"why not!"

"but why should *i* get the world?"

"why not?"

"but-"

its already all here for you. its already as it is. what is vanessa gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?

Treat it with compassion, stop bullying it, it's not its fault you're not where you should be. You think he's in the way so you get mad, you get frustrated it's not following instructions or refuses to step aside. But the ego is not the problem, nor in the way. Your attitude toward it is the problem. Let it be, it doesn't know any better! - post source

give yourself the permission to exist as you are. give yourself permission to be as you are, right now. start asking 'did i give permission for this?' you'll find how much stuff is not even your choice. as ada said its just tolerance and endurance of the forced vanessa.

now you realise you don't have to be a forced vanessa. so you go completely the other direction and try to (forcefully) change the vanessa. you're still holding up standards, ideas & roles to yourself. the things that made you hate vanessa in the first place. just maybe, for this moment hold nothing. drop the knife.

“Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Let go of letting go. Stop trying to fast-forward the movie of your life. It gets so exhausting, doesn’t it, always trying to get there, chasing futures that never seem to arrive, living on second-hand promises. Instead, bow deeply to yourself as you actually are. Be here. Honour this present scene in the movie. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your deepest longings, your fearful thoughts, are not mistakes, and they aren’t asking to be healed. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness…” — Jeff Foster

[cattonicdragon]

could you do mantis, tigress, viper, po, shen, tai lung, kai x a white peacock reader that can manipulate all forms of physics? For reference, the White Peacock Reader has the ability to manipulate all forms of physics regardless of laws. Other have sent you this type of question, so I am sending you this type of question. And I love your stuff too.

mantis,tigress,viper,po,shen,tai lung and kai x white peacock reader who can manipulate all forms of physics

I'm glad you like my stuff! And of course I can

Not been proof read yet I just wanted to post it 😭

Mantis

He finds you beauty and grace very admirable

You fight with such ferocity and grace it's almost unbelievable

He thinks that your powers are really cool but also really scary since they dont abide to any of the laws

Meaning you can do things that shouldn't physically be possible

Thinks that your some kind of God or something,maybe you've just been blessed by the gods

Not to much sparing,he fears that hell be crushed before he can even move

He asks to trace the patterns on your feathers(if you have any patterns)

He wonders if your tail can get in the way when fighting

Your fighting style is literally drop dead gorgeous

Saw you phase through a wall once,cant unsee it

Scary for in battle but very useful as an ally

He asks if you know why your white instead of the usually colours

Very curious about you

Your very mysterious

Tigress

She finds your beauty breath taking but remembers during battle not to be distracted

Shes curious of how you got your powers,did you learn them?,if so who was your master?,were you born with them?,does it run in your family?

Lots of questions

Training constantly

You've bested her more times then she cares to admit

She'll say that you cheated

Shes not saying that because she thinks you incapable,shes just saying that to try and mend her wounded pride

Her leg has phased through you and she lost the match because her brain practically stopped working for a minute or so

She likes to stay on your good side,mainly because she genuinely fears your powers

She believes that you can control them well but the things you can do,shouldn't be humanly/animaly possible

She likes to help clean your tail if you allow her

She wonders how you can fight with such a big tail

She fears fears what people will say when she tells them she lost a match to you,so you tell her that she can say you lost sometimes

She finds it scary and impressiv how much you can do,you can control things like the weather,solid matter etc.

She asks about your origins and if there may have been a particular reason as to why you were born as a white peacock with such immense power

Viper

brought to you by the same gif,again

As a previous ribbon dancer she likes to see the art in different peopls kung fu/fighting style,which meand she loved the way you fight

Such precision and beauty

She thinks your way to overpowerd

Like if you wanted to you could legit just walk on water

Dont like cold noodles?,ok lemme just,heat that up for u rq

She likes to stay relatively on your good side

She will ask to put flowers in your feathers,if you allow her to she will be ecstatic

Such a sweet heart

If you give her a feather as a gift of luck she may just pass out

If you have any patterns on your feathers she likes to trance them with her tail or just look at it

Shes scared to get priced by your sharp talons in battle/sparing

Loves your feathers

Shes curious to your feather colour being white but wont dig or think to deep about it

She just puts it down as being an unique quality of yours

Your tail can get annoying every so often

She likes how you input your tail into your fighting style

Po

Your white feathers give him a tad bit of PTSD

He find the way you fight majestical,almost as if hes watching a play

He likes your feather and asks how you keep them so clean

He would be very hesitant with you sometimes due to the fact you remind him of someone

He thinks white suits you

Hes very surprised,fascinated and intrigued apon finding out about your powers

Your powers are like nothing hes ever seen before and he loves it

He likes to have long training sessions with you to try find a weakspot

He wants you to try teach him

Even if you tell him it's your genes and not taught he will still ask,there no hurt in trying

Liked your tail but it is very big

He likes making noodles for you both and sitting under a tree on a rainy day,knowing that your the reason your both not drenched in water

He wonders how you obtained such power and wonders what It would be like going all on out dragon warrior against you

He gets distracted by your feather alot

If you were to ever give him a feather hed treat it like a treasure that needs to be protected at any cost

Likes to watch your methods of fighting because he wants to try doing it himself

Shen

Hes rather shocked apon learning that there another white peacock

And your very powerful

In some ways hes happy that theres another peacock since he wont feel as lonely being the only white one but then again he in some ways feels like that was a huge part of his character

Apon first meeting you he gets extremely defensive and accuses you of being an imposter,even though you never said a single thing

Has alot of curiosity about your powers

Shen will try test your limits and see if you just unleash your powers out of pure emotion,he has morbid curiosity

He likes to spar ALOT

He likes to talk to you about how he created the cannons aswell as what he did to get the result

Hes very clingy and will often hang around you

Should anyone speak bad about you if you dont handle it,he will gladly

He finds a sick kind of pleasure from having so powerfull by his side

He throws firework shows for you

If you are good with close combat he will get a custom commissioned weapon of your choice for you

Tai lung

Although he finds your white feathers beautiful he also feels threatened

The pure reason for this is power

Hes been a star student for so long,the best of the best and you show up and have more power than him

Hes very stand off ish at first

He warms up to you eventually,its just a case of him getting there

He comes to find the brutality and accuracy of your fighting method

He trains with you at any given chance,hes not afraid to fight someone stronger than him and he will most likely go in blind,refusing to learn anything from his opponent

He asks if your methods can be taught and is a bit sulky if it cant

Hes not going to underestimate you by a long shot,hes more likely to overestimate you

He finds you feathers pretty and can momentarily find himself losing focus in training

If you gave him a feather he'd treat it as if it were his life sorce

He believes that when he achieves the dragon scroll you two will finally be even

Kai

Other than oogway he hasnt seen such powerful chi before

Nor has he seen the types of power you weild

Your a mystery at first,a mysterious white peacock shows up one day and has practically limitless power?

Hes going to be after your chi,no doubts

After awhile it's much like having a frenemy

"Still havnt given up your chi,(name)?""still havnt defeated oogway,kai?"

Its can go back and forth like this for a very long time,which it usually ends with you slipping through solid matter to escape

It gets to the point whether hes unsure if he still wants to take your chi

It would give him so much raw power but hes grown...fond of you

Which he hates to admit and probally wont

Once you become acquaintances tho it will turn into sparring seasons often

He brings his jombies out every so often to spice things up

He likes how smoothly you execute your kung fu moves/attacks

However in the end he still technically got what he wanted,just differently

[thetomorrowshow]

hi i’m the anon who asked to make more of the reverse au

i realised i’m actually pretty terrible at writing and am terrified of posting my work anywhere but i still have so many ideas. i thought i’d just share them here in case you or anyone else is interested (you don’t have to read them i just want to get them out of my head)

-scott and jimmy become pen pals and write to each more and more until it’s a daily occurrence. through the letters jimmy tells scott everything that was said in dissonant air (he can’t control his powers, he never meant to hurt anyone, the depressing thoughts, etc)

-they see each others real faces during a poorly timed letter delivery. scott had come to give jimmy his letter in his civilian get-up at the same time jimmy was leaving his apartment

-scott didn’t return to being a hero between the times he was kidnapped from his injuries and from his fear of seeing xornoth again. he stayed trapped in his house writing letters. his friends were more than happy to help him buy groceries and stuff every once in a while. nobody noticed when he got kidnapped except for jimmy, since the letters stopped coming. at first jimmy thought scott had come to his senses and stopped talking to him but still had a feeling something was wrong

-jimmy tried to tell the other hero’s something was wrong but they didn’t trust him. after days of constantly bothering them and insisting major was in danger they finally complied. jimmy told them about scott’s previous kidnapping and they got on the case

-the hero’s tried to find xornoths lair by themselves (they wouldn’t let jimmy help for obvious reasons) but gave in after months of failure and let poor jimmy help. he used what information he could find from all of the letters he was sent. it wasn’t a lot but it was enough to work with

wow this got long. sorry about that! there’s still other stuff i had in my head with this (like with what was going on with scott during all of this and how they get him out) but idk if you’d want to hear more. sorry if this was bad i’m not the best with writing and grammar

I never thought I would write anything else for this au of an au. But hey, here we are.

For clarity's sake, Jimmy is 'S' and Scott is 'M'.

---

Hey! Hope everything’s good. Sorry about your security camera :/ I think I broke it… But I just wanted to say thank you for not mentioning me to the police. Or the reporters. Yeah. Sorry. But I hope you’re getting to feeling better! Thanks again and sorry again

Thanks

S

~

Thank you for your help.

-M

~

Hey, just wanted to let you know I got your note! Glad I could help, really. I feel like I never do anything right, so it was nice to be able to help someone for once. On a related note, I think your groceries went bad. Sorry :( I should start pre-writing these so that I don’t stand on your doorstep for so long. But how does getting groceries delivered work? I’ve been wanting to try it for a while because supermarkets are a landmine. But I hope you’re well! I hope you’re eating enough. Sorry about the groceries.

Thanks!!

S

~

Please do not stand on my doorstep to write notes.

You visit the store’s website and click the delivery option.

-M

~

Thanks for the advice about the whole shopping thing! I haven’t done it yet because I dropped my phone into an incinerator the other day and I’m still trying to buy a new one but the power goes out every time I walk into an electronics store. I’ll try it out once I have a new one though!! And I’m so so sorry I know I shouldn’t stand on your doorstep because like anyone could pass by, which is why I’ve only been stopping by at night, but I think Pearl almost saw me the other night so I’ll be more careful.

Sorry again!!

S

P.S. Sorry I’m standing on your doorstep but I was just wondering why you haven’t done any interviews?? You’ve been back for while now and people are going to worry… just checking to make sure you’re okay! Getting kidnapped can kind of take it out of you for a while :/

~

Sorry you haven’t said anything I just wanted to let you know that I tried out the delivery thing!! It worked really well actually I didn’t have to sign for it or anything just came right up to my doorstep. A lot of the stuff wasn’t what I ordered and the jam I wanted had shattered but it worked and it was way less stressful than usual so you’re the best for telling me how to do it thanks so much!

S

P.S. sorry sorry sorry but you don’t have to write me back if you don’t want to, I just wanted to check that you’re doing okay! Have a good week :) 

~

If they sent you the wrong items, you should get a refund.

Thank you. I don’t plan on any public appearances until I don’t panic when I go outside for the time being. I am recovering well.

-M

~

Okay you didn’t say to stop writing but it was good to hear from you! I felt really bad that I couldn’t help you more that night so I just worry. I’ve been thinking lately though that you probably don’t want to hear from me though so I can stop.

I do need to say something first, though. I mentioned it when you were at my at that apartment with me, but I don’t know how much you remember from then or anything. But basically I’m so so sorry about everything. Like literally everything. I’ve never forgiven myself for Aeor and I don’t expect you to, either, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry. If I could change everything I would. Believe me I would. I’ve hurt too many people. It would be better if I didn’t exist. I don’t deserve to I’ve hurt I should just start a new note at this point, haha. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I understand if you don’t want me to write any more notes. I’ll stop. I hope you’re doing well and you continue to recover!

S

P.S. last time I got kidnapped I was really scared of going back to my apartment so I moved and I felt better, so maybe you need a bit of time out of the city to help you get tip-top :)

~

Thank you for the apology.

And my therapist thinks that might be an unhealthy way of coping, as much as I might agree with you that getting away sounds nice. I’m working through it.

You don’t have to stop writing.

-M

~

I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE AT MY DOOR BEFORE I WALKED OUT LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN

Anyways wow you have a therapist that’s good!! My advice isn’t really good haha sorry. I actually did therapy for a little when I was in school but then everything went really bad with my powers and but then things didn’t work out. I don’t know why I crossed that out. Basically I was in therapy to try and learn how to control my powers and well we know how that ended up.

Quick question maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to you on tv but are your eyes naturally that blue? Because it’s really blue.

S

~

This is my natural eye color.

I didn’t know that there was a therapy program for children who struggle to control their powers. You said it didn’t help, though. I’m glad that you were able to figure it out without professional help.

You were kidnapped before. Does it get any easier? I’m sorry to hear that.

-M

~

Oh so about the therapy thing yeah my powers came when I was like 15 and that’s usually a little old for that therapy but they made a special exception. But no it didn’t work. Actually my parents were planning to send me away to a specialist where I could get the help I needed but it never ended up happening. So I just never learned how to control them.

On a related note a giraffe ate my new phone but I tried out the delivery thing again before that! I kind of expect to get the wrong things because of my powers haha so I’m not going to complain about my ten bottles of ketchup. But my jam did shatter again so I have to decide if it’s worth the anxiety of going to the store.

The first time I got kidnapped, I was really scared. I didn’t know what was happening. They wanted information, I think? I was panicking really bad because they kept pointing guns at my head. I got out pretty quick but it was bad for a long time. I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I mean I never do, really, but it was even worse.

I don’t know when I moved on. I think my sink broke and I was forced to leave the house, but moving isn’t the same as moving on, you know? Like you can run anywhere but it’s usually just running away. You have to face it.

S

~

Thanks for the advice. I really liked that last thing you said.

I don’t want to face them, though. I know I have to, but what if they take me again?

I’m sorry. These are my problems, not yours.

-M

~

Oh gosh I didn’t mean you have to face Xornoth!! No that sounds bad! They literally kidnapped and tortured you for like a month dude! Honestly forget what I said about the whole running away thing, you should really try to get away from this situation if you can. You shouldn’t feel responsible for Xornoth when they hurt you like that, let someone else deal with that! There are tons of supers in the city, just tell one of your friends that you don’t want to be involved with Xornoth and they’ll take care of it!

S

~

I’m the Primary Protector, though. It’s my job to face the city’s greatest threats, and Xornoth is one of them. I should be able to handle them.

I don’t want my friends to see me any differently. They already give me weird looks. I honestly wasn’t very badly hurt—I was mostly malnourished. They don’t understand why I’m not back in the game yet. I don’t know how to tell them.

I wish I could leave.

-M

~

:(( it sounds like you’re really struggling. Do you think you might have PTSD? You don’t have to answer that. But you should take your time! If it was anyone else, I think they’d have moved very far away to get away from the danger which is smart. It’s actually really upsetting that you can’t. Maybe you can work out like a code with your friends so that they can come in and handle Xornoth if they show up while you’re working? Honestly just the fact that they were able to kidnap you once means that there should be extra protection for you. Heck maybe I can do something.

If you need anything though I’m here. I don’t get it exactly but I kind of know what it’s like. I mean yeah I’ve been kidnapped before a couple of times but I know what it’s like to not want to go outside in general. To be scared of what could happen. Well you have other friends but I’m here to help if I can. I don't make promises ever because they never work out for me but I'm here.

S

~

Thank you for the offer. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to help.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, actually. I’m also readjusting to my antidepressants still, so my therapist thinks some of my anxieties come from the meds change and will even out in time.

I think I’ll do a public interview soon. I don’t want them to think that they’ve scared me away.

They’re dangerous. Please don’t endanger yourself. They experimented on me They might try to It isn’t worth the risk.

-M

~

The craziest fight happened downtown!

Okay so I was really just trying to get to the Planet Fitness to take a shower (I’m not homeless haha my shower is broken again) but Mythics was battling Pearl downtown and it was WILD. Like they were not pulling any punches, and I thought they were kind of friendly rivals but this was just crazy! But then the Oracle got involved? So the fight just kind of stopped when he touched them and then he left. I thought the Oracle was a villain but that was vigilante behavior if you ask me. I get it though, if I could’ve done that I would’ve. Like maybe he just needed to take a shower too.

Anyways my powers decided to make everything ten times worse like usual so a giant worm burst out of the ground. Maybe I should have let the Oracle touch me too so that I could join Mythics and Pearl on the ground crying. They’re fine btw some civilians dragged them out of the way of the worm. I was too busy trying to figure out a way to deal with the worm. I think Mythics woke up and magicked it into one of his portal things.

But anyways it was crazy. Well you probably already saw it on the news or something.

I hope the interview goes well!! How does that even work? Like does somebody come to your house or do you go to the news station or what? I'm assuming you've done a couple of interviews before idk.

S

~

I saw about the attack. You should look up ‘tired man throws phone at giant worm video’ if you haven't seen it.

For the interview, I reach out to a news outlet and set up an interview (or, more often, they reach out to me). Then we usually meet in a nice room in their office. I've done tons of interviews, you can find them on my twitter or on youtube.

I'm nervous about the interview. I tried to get a reporter I like but I just know that they'll ask me why I've been away. I don't want them to think I'm weak. It isn't your problem, anyways. I'll talk about it with my therapist.

Really though, you should watch that video.

-M

~

NOOO THAT'S SO BAD THAT SHOULD BE A CRIME

In my defense I was really tired and I just threw whatever was in my hand at the worm, I didn't realize it was my phone.

I've never given an interview before but man that sounds stressful. I hope it goes well! I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention me in it of course but you know that. Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Also if it helps at all taking time off definitely doesn't make you weak. Sometimes it's even stronger to admit you need a break than to keep powering through. Especially after being held captive and tortured for a month.

Good luck again!!

S

P.S. your cat is super cute but maybe she shouldn't be outside? It's really dangerous for cats to live outdoors and I don't want to accidentally hurt her :((

~

Thanks for the kind words.

I can send you the link to the interview if you tell me your phone number. Or I can dm it to you on twitter—is the verified account actually you? The one that mostly shares scam links and random ip addresses?

Also I'm working on leash training Elle, so that we can go on walks and she can be an inside cat.

-M

~

I've tried to write this note like fifty times but the paper keeps tearing so I'll keep it short. My phone number changes a lot and I currently don't have a phone (giraffe again) but I'll just look it up when I get one! And yep that's my twitter, I try to delete the old pictures of me it posts but I gave up on when it posts my location.

Good luck again!

S

~

Why don’t you delete twitter?

-M

~

I did :( 

S

~

Solidarity, your life kind of sucks.

-M

~

You’ve got no room to talk, mister.

S

~

So that’s what it is, isn’t it? We’re just two losers.

-M

P.S. but, for the record, your life is way worse than mine.

~

Okay I’ve got a new phone and I watched the interview! You did incredible, I think I would’ve run away like two seconds in. Like even when they asked that one question about why you weren’t back to work when you’re pretty much physically all right, you really kept it together. I was genuinely so impressed.

Also you’re looking good! I don’t know how to explain it haha, but you look a lot better than you did on my living room floor. How are you doing? Do you think it went well?

S

~

I’d look a lot better in your bed Thanks for watching. It was hard. It was really hard. But I think it helped. I feel kind of better about getting back into it all. Not yet, but maybe soon.

Do you ever wish you’d chosen a different path in life?

-M

~

I never really had a choice to make.

S

P.S. but if I wasn’t powered, I think I’d want to do something with my hands. I used to think subways were the coolest thing ever. I wouldn’t mind learning how to fix a subway car.

~

I studied to be an architect. I loved city architecture. I wanted to design skyscrapers.

I didn’t ever plan to be a hero full-time, but I do like it. I enjoy my job. I’m famous, I live comfortably, I do cool stuff on TV.

But what if I would’ve been happier as an architect?

Sorry, this isn’t your problem. I should talk to my therapist about it.

-M

P.S. Maybe you can take a community college mechanics course?

~

I really can’t, cars tend to break down around me. I don’t even take Ubers anymore (not related to the car breaking-down thing, but because last time the driver held me at gunpoint and stole my phone and wallet).

Honestly mate, if you want to be an architect I'd say go for it. Even if it's only something you can do on the side you know? There's tons of people who never got the chance to do what they love. You deserve a good life.

S

~

Thanks. I'm sorry that you never got to choose. You deserve a good life, too.

I can't let Xornoth win. If I run away, it's defeat. If I don't do anything about it, they might hurt someone else.

I need to take care of this myself.

-M

~

That sounds like a suicide note.

S

~

Wouldn't be the first time.

-M

~

You should ask your friends for help. You don't have to do this alone. You shouldn't face them alone.

S

~

I haven't really talked to anyone since I got back. I know it isn't healthy but I can't. They don't get it. They don't know what Xornoth did to me. I can't let it happen to anyone else. They're a danger to the city and it's my duty to take them down. Alone.

I'm sorry.

-M

~

You aren't alone, okay? If you have no one else, you have me.

S

~

Thank you.

-M

P.S. it means so much to me. I consider you a friend. You have me, too.

~

I saw you on the news fighting the Engineers. You looked good! The fight went really well. How do you feel about it? Is there anything I can do to like support you?

S

P.S. Elle won't stop begging me for belly rubs but each time I try she nips my fingers :(

~

Hey are you doing all right? I mean you took a little bit of a hit in that fight so it's okay if you can't make it to my apartment to drop off a note haha. You can email me if it's easier awsumwingback8@yahoo.com.

S

~

Major please just like let me know that you're okay.

S

~

I may have broken into Blossom’s house (I meant to just knock but the door fell down) and she kicked my butt but she hasn't seen you in a while, she said. Are you okay? I'll break into your house next haha.

S

~

I know you told me not to write notes while I'm on your doorstep but if you don't open the door by tomorrow night I'm breaking in. Elle keeps trying to get me to follow her inside. I'm going to watch your house until tomorrow night, okay? You don't have to write back, just open the door.

I'll come for you.

S

P.S. I didn't mean to sound weird or creepy I mean I have your back. I'll come save you if they got you. 

I promise.

[griseldagimpel]

Why Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives Isn't Textually Muslim

I've noted before that Basira Hussain in The Magnus Archives isn't textually Muslim and is implied not to have strong religious faith. And it is religious faith I want to talk about in this post. Basira may very well come from a Muslim cultural background. But she isn't depicted as a capital B Believer.

Let's start with: a character's background - of any and every sort - is going to have some kind of impact on that character. The specifics of that impact will vary - there is no universal experience of anything - and the extend of the impact will be affected by the specifics of the story they are inhabiting. But a character's background shouldn't just be garnish.

With The Magnus Archives, it's a story that deeply involves religion and religious faith, what with the fear entities being worshiped as gods and all. And that means that characters' non-fear-god religious background comes up more than it might in another narrative. Thus, we get stuff like Eugene opining that the Cult of the Lightless Flame shouldn't just imitate Christianity and Martin & Jon discussing whether the Christian God is a force they can invoke.

As such, the fact that religion never comes up with Basira - when it comes up with so many other characters in the story - leads me to believe that she doesn't have a strong religious background.

Are you following me so far?

Right. So why is this? Why did the creative team make this creative decision?

Well, it's because of season five.

The fourth season ends with the fear apocalypse beginning, and then throughout all of season five, no deity intervenes to stop the fear apocalypse. (Well, unless you want to argue this was the case with Georgie and Melanie's immunity, and there, yeah, I think from an in-story perspective their cult's pretty justified, honestly.)

We spend most of the our time with Jon & Martin, who explicitly come from culturally Christian backgrounds but don't have particularly strong Christian faith themselves and predominantly experience religion in the context of the fear gods. Then there's Basira, Georgie, and Melanie.

The goal of the fifth season is the stop the fear apocalypse, which the characters do, and then the series quickly ends. And the sequel series is over there in a whole different parallel universe.

Because, look, even after being undone, the fear apocalypse was going to fuck with a lot of humanity's religious faith (or lack there of!) something fierce. Gods are real but also they're monsters and also no other god intervened.

That's...a lot.

Basira's doesn't have strong religious faith because if she did, she'd have to process season five through the lens of her religion.

And that's...a lot.

And the creative team wanted Basira's story arc to be about her confronting the harm she and Daisy did as corrupt cops.

Also, look, a British podcast depicting the Christian God as either probably nonexistent or useless? That's like, whatever. England's got a whole Church of England. Christians in England aren't being persecuted for being Christian. The episode "The Architect of Fear" can have Robert Smirke write, "I am certain the Dread Powers cannot take a soul who keeps faith in the Resurrection." and then drop dead before he can even finish his letter. It's fine.

But a British podcast specifically depicting a Muslim character having to confront that their faith is false?

Muslims in England are a religious minority. They don't have a whole institutionalized Mosque of England behind them.

Yeah, that could easily end up coming off as Jerk Move.

Not saying that it couldn't be done or couldn't make a compelling narrative, but it would be a lot to take on. It would risk overpowering the corrupt cop reckoning character arc. And the creative team would have to tread carefully for it not to be a Jerk Move.

Ergo, it's easier on the creative team for them to just...not have Basira be religiously Muslim.

Relatedly, Melanie and Georgie aren't depicted as strongly religious for similar reasons. Because they're outside of the Eye's power! If either of them had a strong religious faith, the characters would likely be interpreting their exemption as being a reflection of their faith! And that would be another plotline where the creative team would likely feel like they had to tread carefully lest their story come off as Jerk Move. Again, not impossible to pull off. But difficult.

[carebooks]

Emma and Daniel did not belong together.

After extensively rewatching Every Witch Way during Spring Break (yep, that's how I spent Spring Break), I went through tumblr and saw people wondering if this fandom still exists. Well, even if there's only like fifteen people on it, let's discuss Emma and one of her main love interests: Daniel.

I would like to disclose that I am a Jemma fan, after Jax showed up in S2, Daniel went out the window for little thirteen-year-old me. This isn't a Daniel VS Jax post, this is just about Emma and Daniel's relationship. This post will mainly reflect on why I think that, in the long run, they did not belong together. They're definitely a first loves ship, but not an endgame ship.

In S1 both were still young and finding their footing, but mainly Emma. Daniel had already dated Maddie for a while and then went through the whole first season flirting and liking Emma after his break up with Maddie. Daniel was also on top of his game, being the Sharks Swim Captain, and other than Maddie being his girlfriend, his life was happy and fine. Emma coming in merely improved it, she was nicer, thoughtful, and down to earth. But Emma's story was just beginning, she was discovering being a witch, having to deal with her powers, a witch bully Maddie at school, and daily shenanigans that entailed the magical world. Daniel is the last person to discover Emma is a witch and he also has the worst reaction to it. Not that surprising considering how regular his life has been, but that kind of tells us where this was headed.

In S2 Emma and Daniel have been together for months now, all through the summer. The thing is, Daniel's been happier than ever and he thinks Emma's powers never came back, something that she's been hiding from him this entire time. Lying to your SO is never a good thing, especially about something this big, something that is literally part of you. There are reasons for both of them however:

Emma knew how happy Daniel was that she was 'regular' and didn't want to ruin what they had by bringing in all her witch stuff, which tended to bring all sorts of chaos and antics.

Daniel didn't want Emma to have powers out of fear that other evil witches would come after her because she was the Chosen One.

While these are reasonable explanations for both of them, they're not fixing any of their real issues. Emma should not be lying to her boyfriend, eventually, it did catch up to her and she tried using magic to make him forget. Also not a good thing, even if she wanted a 'redo' at telling him. When he does find out, it causes their downfall. The thing is, Emma lied because Daniel just can't handle her being a witch. He's said that her powers being back would "ruin everything" and has shown a fear of witches when magic was brought up in S2E05. Emma keeps telling him that powers or no powers, she's still a witch. Still, she chose to hide a part of herself to try to have a normal relationship with her boyfriend. But hiding a part of yourself is never the answer and it eats away at you.

S2 also explores the fact that witches can't date humans, it's not allowed. The Council tries to have Emma break up with him otherwise they must take the witches magic away, but Emma being the Chosen One is a special case. Her magic removal is not on the table and she wants to keep her powers regardless. (I mean I agree with Emma, let the girl date whoever she wants) But it is another thing that drives them further apart, unfortunately, the Council ended up being right, most humans just can't handle the magical world. (Andi can handle it, so can Katie and Sophie, but Daniel can't.)

When it comes to the Fool Moon, it has a different effect on all sorts of witches. Jax's greed and envy magnify, Desdemona turns vindictive and wants Emma's powers, and Emma's impulse control is gone. This leads to Emma casting spells without really thinking about the consequences and out in the open. The Fool Moon is just a witch or wizard's desires coming to the surface. In retrospect, Maddie was just as affected, she started improving (slightly, but still progress) and didn't run from her feelings toward Diego. She was more open and entered a relationship with him.

We also see Emma's clones in this season. Her first clone, E, encompasses her dark side with none of the good. She calls Daniel dull, she's bored with him and his ideas for dates, and she finds Jax fun and wants to do magic whenever she wants. She's happy when Daniel breaks up with Emma because 1. She found him boring and 2. They get to keep their powers now and the Council can stop hounding them. This may be Emma's darkest side but it's still Emma. Some part of her does believe that Daniel is dull and finds Jax fun. Granted, her third clone, the Nerdy Emma is all about Daniel. This is why the clone spell is so very illegal, a witch is essentially pulling out a part of themselves and without the rest to balance it, they become a paragon of just one emotion or drive or aspect of their original personality. They're not whole. The Real Emma shares all these traits inside herself, she does like Daniel, she does find him dull sometimes, she does like math, she does find it boring at times, and she does like Jax but she does think he goes overboard sometimes.

See, this is where we come into an important piece of dialogue in S2 E16 between Maddie and Daniel talking about their romantic troubles.

Maddie: But if you two were still together, you'd want her to stop using her powers? Daniel: Maybe. Maddie: Then you don't accept Emma for who she is. And as a fellow witch, I'm offended for her!

This is an interesting moment in which someone like Maddie, someone who doesn't like Emma but is a witch just like her, sees that while Emma lied to Daniel, she did it because Daniel doesn't accept her as who she is.

Daniel has openly expressed anger and disinterest at the magic world. And hey, I understand, after all the spells Jax has cast on him to make him look bad in front of Emma's dad, or just the usual magic hijinks from Emma or Maddie, magic is not Daniel's friend. He doesn't find it fun or cool like Andi, he's not desensitized to it like Katie and Sophie. He's suffered from it and doesn't want anything to do with it and hey I can respect that. But this isn't good when you're in a relationship with a witch, the most powerful one in fact. So he's tiptoeing a line constantly between wanting to be with his girlfriend but disliking and fearing something that's part of her (and part of his friends' lives: Maddie and Diego).

Let's get to S3 when he was marked by Mia with her Kanay spider. Spider!Daniel broke up with Emma, started dating Mia, was a general jerk at school, even tied up his little siblings. It turns out that Mia's Spider doesn't cause him to act strange or evil, it just unleashes someone's 'inner wild'. It makes them do what they most want to do. So, Daniel did want to break up with Emma. He called Emma and Maddie trouble-brewing witches and had no problem telling a complete stranger all about their powers.

Now we could get into how Daniel's life was turned upside down more than plenty of times because of magic, but nothing beats S4 when Emma literally rewrites time when Daniel disappears. He and his family end up running an animal sanctuary and dating Mia. Then his life gets put back and it's for the worse because now he has no animals, no girlfriend, and he's back in a school hated by the principal. Overall, Daniel was not having a good time in S4. One of the many reasons why Emma puts him back where he was happy. (I would also like to remind everyone that Mia and her previously deceased parents were alive in the new accidental timeline of S4. I believe that Emma also was the cause of this, not only did she unintentionally give Daniel a better life but the same to Mia. And then she restored that life at the end of the season.)

In conclusion, Jemma forever.

But really, I hope someone reads this and enjoys or sees the situation from both sides and how they weren't really a good couple. Kind of doomed in the end when you think about it. I mean the girl loves butterflies and he's allergic to butterflies. I don't think the writers were subtle with that one, huh.

[anonymous-dentist]

You’re writing is amazing! The post you made about the “Federation of Heros” application thing along with their “don’t forget to smile in the face of danger”

legitimately made my stomach turn a little, like these are just little kids! They shouldn’t be being put in danger-

It’s so clearly morally wrong, and the way it’s written to like show the Federation’s subtle propaganda use

Mwah 👌

But it’s made me curious, why does Forever ‘endorse’ it? Is he ignorant of what the reality of life is like for the children who enter the program? Did the Federation threaten him with losing custody of Richas? How do the reef of the Favela Five feel about Richas being in the program? Do they even know?

Oh and what happened with Richas! Like I saw the post about how Cellbit used his powers to help Richarlyson with nightmares-

Is Richarlyson an escapee from the program? Or is he still active in it?

Also does Cellbit’s power let him know what people are afraid of? Or does it just trigger the fear response based off their greatest fear without him knowing what it is?

Sorry for the long ask! These questions have been rattling around my brain. I am a huge fan of stories where the superhero society is corrupt with a side of child soldiers and your story is perfectly hitting that fix!

Okay so Forever the Mayor works a lot like canon Forever the President. He doesn't like the Federation, but he has to work with (read: for) them if he wants to stay mayor and do the good things he wants to do for the city. He's right up there with Cellbit and Bad and Max and everyone as Federation Haters, but he has to be more subtle about it, which has kinda put a big rift between him and all his friends except for Cellbit, who just gets it.

It isn't that Forever doesn't understand the dangers, but it's that he can actually monitor the program better if it's out of the FoH's hands and in his. The program won't be under their control if it's implemented in schools, it'll be under his because he's the mayor and, despite everything, the FoH can't get too involved in the public school system without running into a LOT of controversy, and he is going to use that to his advantage.

Richarlyson volunteered, too. He just wants to help :( He knows that he isn't that powerful and that he isn't that useful and that he's just a kid, but he wants to help :( If this lets him help his Pai Forever, then he'll do it no matter what!

(And his dads are all ready to pull him out and homeschool him if necessary, they are well prepared.)

And then as for Cellbit's ability, it's kinda like that! Yeah! He can find out what scares someone, but he doesn't always rely on his ability for that. He's smart, remember? He knows the general common fears of the general population, and he used to go through them one by one until one stuck and scared his victims to death- like 'the dark', 'public speaking', 'gun violence', stuff like that. Find the basic fear and amplify it by 100 until they're fucking dead, that's how he used to work. No need to use his ability to find their greatest deepest darkest fear, that'd take too long.

...But he doesn't do that anymore, of course! He's much better now!

[someonewhogotanaccount]

Some questions about Phobia

Uhhh... hello? Yeah, I think I should greet you because it's my first post and everything.

Well, I was recently wondering about some stuff and I never figured out the answers so I'll ask you now, Renegade-Fandom :).

We know that Phobia was never hurt in a fight, right? Never ever was beaten by any hero (leaving out Adrian). And he can kind of teleport/(dis)appear through shadows. So, what I am wondering now is why the hell didn't the Anarchists use him to free Ace from Cragmore? Or, maybe more in general, why didn't he show up at the mayors' mansion to kill the Dread Warden and Captain Chromium? As we know, Adrians worst fear is being helpless/weak and Phobia could make it come true in killing Adrians dads while Adrian himself is helpless and feels to weak to rescue them.

Or am I just a big dumbass and overlook something completely obvious?

The same goes, by the way, for the fact that Phobia just disappeared when Team Sketch went to the catacombs. Like. Come on Phobia, you had one job! You can't even had been weaken because you've been litually next to your source of power (because, yk, he absorbed his power from Adrians worst fears who was standing not that far away of Phobia, if I remember correctly).

And another last thing I also think about is that Phobia didn't figure out that Adrian was the Sentinel. Shouldn't he feel some kind of connection to him? Or at least recognize the fears?

I got all this questions while writing a spontaneous scene with Phobia in a fanfiction and since I have now the opportunity to ask you over tumblr, I thought I should take a try (hope it doesn't come out in the end that I just missed some very obvious things ;).

[storytellers-and-co]

Ya boys about to hit Shadowbringers

I got through Stormblood post-game last night and BOY what a ride it was!? I could barely put the game down, even when I was trying to pace myself so I don't leave certain friends too far behind. Adding spoilery stuff below the cut, because I know one of 'em reads this blog (I just need to gush a little while things are still fresh in my mind)

Okay so. All the revelations of Garlemald and how, WHY it was created? I loved that, it so easily explained why a whole ass country has been the default 'evil conquerors' for so long without any real challenge or change until now. Because the real man behind the whole thing is STILL AT IT. Change don't happen if the original reason, the original driving force is still kicking about.

Also I wanna kick Solus. I wanna kick Solus so hard. Props for the animators, writer and Rene Zagger, it's on sight now old man, I'm coming for your kneecaps!

Speaking of voice actors, Luke Allen-Gale! Hot damn did he do a good job as Zenos (and the possessed Zenos)! I have complicated feelings about Zenos, ngl - He's one of those characters that I know cannot be saved, fixed, or redeemed, but I can also see why he's such a popular character? Personally it's the voice and certain lines that did it for me. Got some shivers out of certain line-deliveries.

He's actually a character that makes me kinda sad - it's a reminder that there is some characters that are doomed by the canon, they'll never be good people, and yet you can see a glimmer, a potential of what-ifs, could-have-beens and all that. A road that was there but refused by the character because that's just not who they are.

Also Varis is also on the kick on the face list. Black Rose is bad. Stop it.

AND NOW ON THE LATEST THING that actually got two of my friends laughing: The final fight against Zenos-Zombie! Zenbie? Zomnos? The- the dead body possessed by the Ascian who I keep calling Ildi because names hard. Ildinos.

So the final fight against him. One, I absolutely loved being Hien for a moment, he quickly became one of my faves through the Stormblood (he's such a fun, up-beat character that takes the life by stride while also not being a pushover, and that's such a good quality to have!).

Two.... GOD DAMMIT WHOEVER YOU ARE, COULDN'T YOU HAD PICKED A BETTER TIME FOR YOUR BLOODY HOUSECALL, YOU NEARLY COST ME MY HEAD! If it wasn't for our local stray cat of a dragoon, we would've lost then and there and you would've lost your chance to have the WoL helping out on the count of NOT HAVING A HEAD, pick your times better oui raatmacc raqan! (This is a joke I know he couldn't have known I was locked in a death-match. I hope.)

Now if ya wondering why I am not more outraged about the fact they've effectively kidnapped my friends, I uh. I actually felt a huge surge of sympathy at the start for the character. idk something about the voice painted a picture of someone desperate and... sad? Upset? Distressed? Something like that just got my empathy flaring up. So while I am mad that I keep getting these calls and everyone around me is panicking in fear, I also want to get to the bottom of this because apparently my empathy levels are far too fucking high.

(Yes I am the type of person who wants to help everyone in any of the games I play in. It's my ultimate power fantasy, being able to help and comfort folks without my actual personality coming in the way)

I think that's all for me now folks, I am taking a small break before heading to Shadowbringers - I have few alts that need to catch up to HW at the very least, and a laundry-list of things for my main to go through. Like all the gathering side-quests, Eureka, unlocking all the primal fights and fixing my glamors etc. We're also trying to get a house for Storytellers, so i gotta help gather some extra funds + items.

[flowerslut]

shamefully despite how easily i am influenced i have not made my way through your ao3 catalogue. where would be a good starting point? (licking kink not required but always appreciated)

wow thanks for giving me an excuse to make a compilation of my (shorter) twilight fics that I want more people to read!!!!! ok ok so all my best favorite ones (minus call of the night. we are pretending call of the night does not exist, okay? dont think about it. dont even look at it) are my mid-length ones. now, first and foremost: I am an angst writer, and boy do I love to whump on alice and jasper, so in no particular order, you should read these fun little jalice fics while you wait for me to update roots over the next few weeks/months

North Star

rated: M words: 20,336 chapters: one-shot summary: "He’s the Eye of the South. The god of war. Master of battle and oracle of death. He’s not just the most dangerous weapon the world has ever seen, but he’s a man in love. And combining those two just makes this so much worse. Jasper sees a girl in his head, and he's afraid of what comes next."

thoughts: okay i lied, they are in a particular order. or at least this one is. this is my favorite twilight fic I've written (I think) and I got dramatic as fuck with it. written for jalice week back in 2021, the prompt was "power/ability swap" and you get exactly that: jasper is the psychic, alice is the empath, everything else is the same... or is it? this is also notably the first fic I ever sent to someone (g, obviously) to look over/give corrections to, so that might be why it has fewer stupid grammatical/sentence structure issues than most of my other stuff (minus roots). content warning for physical abuse, implied sexual assault, and mild sexual content. (also on ff.net)

The Almost Quiet

rated: T words: 10,365 chapters: one-shot summary: "He wants to blame loneliness, but maybe this is what was meant for him all along. A long road that leads to a depressing end. Longing after a girl he doesn’t know whose mind is lost."

thoughts: the last line of this fic is my personal favorite one I've written in recently memory! anyways this is an all-human AU, (sort of). in 1920, alice and jasper meet as humans and jasper's job gets much harder after that. this one is far from the best on this list, but it's entertaining, angsty, and has a satisfying ending imo. content warning for forced institutionalization and ableist language. (also on ff.net)

Déjà-rêvé

rated: T words: 6,551 chapters: one-shot summary: "It's nothing Alice had ever seen. It was no vision, no dream. It was only a possibility that had haunted the back of her mind like a nightmare for as long as she'd known what was out there for her to fear. Jasper had never known about this fear until it became their reality."

thoughts: this is the shortest one on this list, and since you like roots, you'll probably like this. its vaguely similar in that it's a whumpy post-breaking dawn AU, but this is only a snippet of an aftermath in which alice loses her power. wrote it for secret santa 2022 and had a BLAST with it. (if you want more whumpy one-shots my ao3 is chock full of whumptober prompts)

No Friend of Mine

rated: T words: 15,199 chapters: one-shot summary: "He contemplates telling Peter about Alice’s visits, but something holds him back from doing it. Perhaps because it doesn’t feel like Alice whenever she’s lying on his bedroom floor, curled in an old blanket that’s too small for him but perfectly sized for her, utterly still and silent even while awake. A part of him feels like it would be a betrayal to reveal this side of her to someone even as close to him as Peter is. After all, Peter is his friend. And Alice is… well, not."

thoughts: I think this fic is severely underrated, but maybe that's because I literally came up with the concept and wrote it over the course of a day and a half or something insane like that, and I think that for a hastily written secret santa gift from 2020, it holds up sooo well. it's an all-human AU where alice is the weird new girl, and like always, jasper is in way over his head. all the cullens get a role, it has the 'fluffiest' moments, and its faaaantastic. content warning for child abuse.

The Hunted

rated: T words: 26,664 chapters: 11 summary: "It's not so wise if you try to run."

thoughts: this one is the most self-indulgent (with the most questionable characterization tbh) based on g's post from 2019 that says 'twilight, but when bella slips away from jasper and goes to the ballet studio to meet james, he isn’t there. he waited until everyone split up in the airport, and then went for alice instead. in the ensuing chaos, while everyone is freaking out, victoria grabs bella.' this is the only one on the list I might take a look at in the future to rewrite chunks of, but it's great fun your honor. ignore what anyone else tells you about the ending. but make sure to keep this short sequel/epilogue handy, for... reasons. (also on ff.net)

A Loyal Wife

rated: M words: 21,930 chapters: 5 summary: "Alice is only a Lady because she was forced to be one. She much rather preferred being untitled. Just a constant in this strange family of women. Girls both grown and not, betrothed to the man who protects and spoils them. Quickly the newborns realize that Alice is more weapon than wife, and that suits her just fine."

thoughts: last but certainly not least is my attempt at 'jalice enemies-to-lovers' that I wrote over the course of two days while on vacation. this story has everything: southern wars, a marriage cult, weird power dynamics, and [checks notes] trying to seduce your enemy mid-fight. this is another one of my favorites, and maybe the messiest (affectionate) as far as story content goes (of course, minus roots). content warnings for sexual assault/dubious consent.

[jeanstapleton]

How do you think Munch lived before? Where did he live? Where does he sleep? I wanted some details, because I'm trying to write some kind of fic and I'm not that good at it, what do you think? Where was he before Roy hired him? I wanted to write a fic without all the erotic stuff that part of the fandom does, I want something more serious, about his trajectory. So, I wanted some ideas: did he live by breaking into houses? Did he live on empty plots of land? What was he eating? What did he do on a daily basis? Where does he get cigarettes and so on? Sam said that the idea is that he doesn't carry things with him, because he's the kind of guy who when he needs to, grabs a gun, a cigarette and so on. Like the scene of him picking up the cigarette from the ground, what did he do before? What kind of jobs was he taking? Just kidnappings and murders? What do you imagine? Has he had other "Irma's"? Where did he break in and stay quietly in the person's house? Where did he sleep in the meantime? I would like some insights, I am grateful for your headcanons.

all great questions!! under the cut since my responses are kinda long:

so according to munch in the finale, he doesn't need to sleep. we can assume his curse has left him biologically frozen in time like a vampire. i think he was still able to rest & eat, but they dont actually serve any real purpose. he's not restored afterward nor would he suffer when deprived of those things. he closes his eyes, but he doesnt relax or dream. he eats, but it just disappears inside him. this makes it tricky to pinpoint why exactly he's a smoker, though. if i had to pull something out of my ass real quick, i'd say its an easy way to confirm his own existence, like how we can see our breath when its cold, or when we hold our hands close to fire. it becomes addicting to him in that sense, rather than his body needing nicotine itself. he wouldn't respond negatively to cigarettes at all, but because tobacco just generally stains anything it's in prolonged contact with, that explains why his teeth are so tarnished.

as for jobs, i genuinely think he was a drifter in every sense of the word. he has an innate need for creature comforts so i think his quests to find those things lead him to kill-or-be-killed situations. money is also a tricky topic bc idk what it'd mean to him apart from a sign that the completion of a job has been acknowledged & properly compensated. he didn't seem to care about roy's money once he acquired it. my guess is, in relation to your "irma" question as well, that he leaves money where it's most needed. he clearly gave some to her when she returned to the house with groceries.

munch might have acquired firearms by brazenly attacking organized crime circles or just stealing off of criminals. i think he'd be efficient & quick enough that the murders would just be reported as internal conflict.

i don't see him as a vigilante but i also don't think he'd just hurt people indiscriminately. he's had centuries for his hatred of the rich to fester, & he's very clearly disturbed by the deaths of innocents re: irma. i understand this is kind of a conundrum where dot is concerned, but again, it's represented through a cycle. munch maintains it by allowing himself to be employed by the powerful to secure that throwaway money. all he knows after being hired by the tillmans is that a rich man wants his wife back, whom he probably assumes is also rich, like bunny lebowski. it's only after he sees how hard dot fights back that he questions the nature of the job.

i think munch has had other "irma's", but not recently. i said this in a previous post, but i think every once in a while back in the day he'd stop by a rural family's home & offer to help them out for a bit in exchange for food & board, which he only took advantage of for a couple of days out of fear that his presence would somehow attract danger. again, this is less of a need to satisfy biological hunger & more about his hunger for companionship & family. losing that which he found in the indigenous tribes that invited him in left him very hesitant to seek it out anywhere else. fleeting moments are better than none at all. something else to dwell on is him assigning irma as his temporary "mama". from this we can infer 3 things:

he misses having a mom, & he wants someone to take care of him. obvious.

calling her his "mama" might be a way of apologizing for scaring her. awkward, yes. ineffective, yes. but the title suggests purity, hardship, and the respect owed to a mother who exhibits those things. another example of his innate connection to women.

he suggests it casually, showing he doesn't feel guilty for breaking in. this interested me for a bit since it makes him partly responsible for irma's death, but the more i thought about it, it makes sense because he is aware of his own power, power he wasn't employing to bully. in exchange for her charity, he promised to protect her. this made her death that much worse & undoubtedly stirred past trauma.

there's also the question of his sudden need for a mama. what about the dot job made him that lonely or scared? my theory is that the kin connection to dot was sparked during their "battle". he didn't know how to respond to it, especially considering this woman was briefly his victim. he figured he could seek an outlet somewhere else, but somewhere incedentally close to dot, in a house in the suburbs. his ability to "know people" must've told him that irma was not one of the suburbanites. she is ignored, her house is falling apart, etc. this is presumably why he didn't break into a more well-off house.

when he doesn't want to go through the trouble of bothering people, he'd most likely find uninhabited homes or buildings to squat in. the little hut in the beginning of episode 9 intrigued me, but nothing about it suggested it was owned by him. it might just be a shed used by ice fishers. it made me think of the one wrench & numbers used in s1 to keep warm.

as for what munch does in his spare time, there's nothing in the show to really drive me in one direction or another, so i like to think he reads. finding books without the use of a library is not uncommon (those little free libraries where ppl leave books for others to take). plus he can just steal & then leave them somewhere when he's done. i like to think reading is how he learned to speak english, even way back in his early years.

[jackoshadows]

Saw the stuff from THAT side about the girl in grey on a dying horse unfortunately in the tags recently and not surprised they’re using the show to justify their twisted theories for a ship that never happened, how boring does a character have to be for them to steal a side characters small arc to justify their delusions

The show was trash even for Sansa and yet they want show Sansa's plots for the book version if it gives them Jonsa, never mind that this crackship did not happen on the show either.

Sometimes someone likes or reblogs old posts of mine when GOT was running and I take a look at those posts and go 'I wrote all this?'. What a sweet, summer child I was 😂.

Anyway, in one post I talk about how despite giving show Sansa book Arya's theme of 'The lone Wolf dies but the pack survives' they failed to implement what that actually means in show's Sansa's story.

And I think that's one reason why the North plot was so much superficial, one dimensional, badly written garbage. They replaced Jeyne with Sansa in order to give Sophie Turner something to do on the TV show. And then what? They never carried over any of the reasons for why that plot existed in the first place.

GRRM seems particularly bothered about that plot change and views it as where the divergence happens with book and show canon as I explain here. That's because Arya's marriage to Ramsay in the books is a thread that connects together several plots in the North, exploring themes of loyalty and love.

We got nothing of that in the show because according to Benioff and Weiss themes are not important to the story they are telling.

On Game of Thrones, characters are free to while away hours, even entire seasons, on the periphery. The story lines move forward and dig deeper as the episodes progress but rarely circle back and almost never pause for reflection. When I asked Benioff and Weiss if it was possible to infer any overall intentionality to the upcoming 10 episodes, they sneered. “Themes are for eighth-grade book reports,” Benioff told me.

Theon risking it all, braving the fear of capture and more torture, overcoming that fear and panic to save a nobody like Jeyne Poole - who no one cares for - is now helping Ned's s daughter Sansa who pushes at Theon to help her and who he ends up saving.

While Ramsay marries Sansa to hold the North (Same excuse as in the books for marrying 'Arya'), the show never follows through on the theme of 'The North Remembers'. Even after Sansa escapes from Winterfell, the rest of the North keep fully supporting the Boltons!! They even support Ramsay over Sansa and Jon in season 6!

So why in the world did Ramsay marry Sansa in the first place if he does not even need her to hold the North?!

Rickon is quickly dispatched off even though we get the most powerful Northern house supporting him in the books. There are no mountain clans supporting Ned's girl anymore, no plotting and the game of thrones being played by the Northern houses for the Starks.

And while it's clear Stannis will in some manner be responsible for what happens to Shireen given this was a plot that GRRM told D&D, I am confident the motives and how it happens in the books will be more complex and conflicting than him burning his little girl at the stake to win some battle 🙄

Jon breaking his oaths to go save Arya is no longer a thing, removing that very important conflict (Which makes him a flawed character) from his arc - instead we get Olly killing him for the watch because he let the Freefolk in 🙄.

The less said about Jon's resurrection the better. He got about 30 minutes to be sad and then become mopey Jon Snow so that D&D could hand over his book plot - of rallying the Freefolk to attack the Boltons - to show Sansa. And that was it, he was back to the usual boring and 'noble' Jon Snow after a couple of episodes.

And why the hell did Melisandre randomly decide to resurrect him considering he had no role to play in the defeat of the White Walkers, spending his time running around screaming at a dragon? It would have been better for the show version of the character to stay dead as D&D couldn't be bothered to write for him.

Ghost and Nymeria? The direwolves are non-existent. Who care that these beasts are part of these characters, their soul, their other halves. Bran was not even given one line of dialogue to mourn the loss of Summer. The show only has the space/time and budget for one magical creature and dragons it is.

The Northern houses randomly make Jon Snow KITN when Ned Stark's legitimate daughter is sitting right there! Why? Could it be because she got many of them needlessly killed in the battle of the bastards by not telling them of the Vale army? Nah, that's no big deal and Jon shrugs it off with a kiss to the forehead!

The Vale army? It's Littlefinger who rallies them to support Sansa and all she does is write him a letter accepting his help and then lie to Jon Snow about it. She makes idiotic arguments about how the Karstarks would help and it's Davos who explains that Robb's actions with Rickard makes them enemies. And it's Davos who gets them the lone support of Lyanna Mormont while Sansa criticizes him. So Sansa is not even written as smart on the show!! The Vale lords and army then continues to hang around in the North for some reason.

D&D just wanted the shocking moments from the books without the deep characterization, nuance and complexity. They just wanted to replace Jeyne with Sansa and shock and disgust their audiences with what happens to Sansa without any of the actual plot that goes along with what happens to Jeyne in the books.

This is why Jonsa fans - and even a lot of times just Sansa fans - trying to co-opt this plot for the book character (because they want Jonsa and QITN for book Sansa) leads to all these ridiculous theories of the 'Girl in Grey' being Sansa riding all the way from the vale to the Wall on a horse in the thick of winter... It was ridiculous on the show and it's ridiculous when they try to rewrite the books to mirror the show fanfiction.

[tiodolma]

Reply to @tundratoad's tag on this post

thanks for the tag and I can see why it made you think of me.

I do appreciate that OP laid out an entire Merlin BBC plan for how they would have dealt with Morgana and I have no intention to dispute it on their post. It's their vision. They're entitled to it. If that take fixed Merlin BBC for them, then good for them. If that transformative essay made the show feel more arthurian for them, then good for them.

I however am on the side that Morgana's change in S3 was perfectly sensible. It is a controversial take around here I know but BBC Morgana's character and storyline about activists and radicals, was reminiscent of the widespread information campaign against activism in my country in the past two presidencies.

That narrative where smart zealous young adults are "recruited" by activists, brought, isolated and radicalized in the mountains for months and years and then come back all changed, angry and weird? That is still a whole campaign against "terrorism" and "communism" that is continuously spread to cause unecessary fear about activists and subsequent insurgency (and that was in connection to the war on drugs as well).

Katie Mcgrath's character, was isolated, educated and trained for A YEAR, to be a rebel. Katie Mcgrath had explained this writing decision in interviews, btw. So I know that they took real world examples and slapped it on BBC Morgana.

Therefore I was able to understand how she went into a complete flip of character from a "bumbling princess who tried too hard but always failed" into a cold efficient rebellion agent in s3. That anti-activism campaign is still too active in my country even now.

Personally I think the change fit very well with the show's theme because the show choose genocide as backdrop of all things.

Plus if you read Morgan le fay in the french legends (vulgate/malory).. she does turn, well, completely against Arthur, for even lesser nonsensical reasons.

Because of that I consider BBC Morgana's actual, tangible gravitas as a win. I consider all her actions as something to be expected, given what they put her through and what was already established about her from s1-s2

so for propaganda reasons, i think BBC did a very very good job of convincing their young audience that all activists/rebels/extremists are insane/crazy and shouldn't be treated human and should be all exterminated once and for all.

It also harkens back to arthuriana/medieval messaging that any sort of hate/anger is ireedemable and demonic (compared to just being anguished about stuff. Unethical actions coz of anguish was more acceptable.)

the show's story accomplished a lot of things all at once ngl.

...so if i don't consider Morgana's writing a huge problem that what is the problem (for me?)

It's what they turned Merlin into.

BBC Merlin's constant secrecy of his powers and denial of himself was a betrayal of everything that medieval and legendary Merlin was. Like I said before, legends!Merlin was one who showcased what he could do whenever he could and one who openly defended himself, his decisions and his powers to everyone who doubted him.

And that would have fit well in the politics of the show. Merlin should have been openly and unabashedly spreading propaganda of his mission first and foremost, and not wait for antagonists like Morgana to close in on him and his secret. He should have stood out there tall and proud against Morgana and accepted fate as it came, not fight it, because that is what Seers like Merlin are supposed to do.

If it were me, Merlin should have tried reasoning and showing his powers to her in s2 or s3, not s4. There was still a way for them both out of their respective flavors of extremism if Merlin started stepping into power as Emrys before she assisted Morgause's death and unleashed an unforgiveable terrrorist act at the start of s4.

He should have been more openly committed to his actual goal of glorified and "acceptable" imperialism with him and Arthur at the top of everyone else, and not this back and forth and false sense that he was the "kind and humble one" because he let others step on him while he cheated and betrayed all of them from the shadows.

The conflicts which would have arisen would be juicier. Merlin would have been a lot smarter at everything, Morgana and co. would have backed down a bit or even listened to him a bit, Arthur would have had to choose between imperialistic glory with Merlin by his side or have his own kingdom fall because of his stubborness to accept help, Mordred would risen up on his own as an agent of chaos. etc. There' would have been more opportunity for negotiation, reconciliation, resolution, etc.

idk man. we all have ways to fix this damn show. But I dont have hubris enough to claim i'd be better than the writers/showrunners.

but really tho. i enjoyed and was disgusted by the show too much to find it in my heart to change anything.

it's good stuff for brainworms

[itgomyway]

https://www.tumblr.com/itgomyway/728826109540581376/is-it-possible-to-send-you-an-ask-or-privately?source=share

Hi, I’m this anon. I hope you are doing well Calypso. [This is gonna be long and very…immature due to my lack of understanding. I am really sorry in advance]

So I have read through your pinned post (and my introduction to non dualism was through consciousnessbaddie’s guide post, so I have read that) and this is what I understood from it: We are consciousness, consciousness can be observed in different forms and when we pay attention to it/become aware of it/observe it, we end up experiencing it and that for us becomes *real* (still an illusion). We are the creators and we are everything: from the TV, celebs, capybaras, sorting hat from hogwarts, all of it. Everything is an illusion, our ego, subconscious, thoughts, doubt, fears are fall mere concepts/forms of consciousness, there is no separation between 3D and 4D. We feel lack because we identify with these illusions instead of our True Self i.e consciousness/I AM. {This is the summary of what my knowledge, what I got}

I am not understanding how *When you observe/pay attention to something, it exists/becomes real*. There was an example of meeting a troll and following it in your How Reality works and What To Do With Experiencing It post, how before you started meet and then to follow it, it didn’t even exist for you. But I’m like….the troll still existed, it was still trolling, even if I wasn’t aware at first. It was still real even though I wasn’t aware, out and about in the world.

I got into law of assumption then non dualism after years of just rolling around in subliminal community, amino reality shifting, law of attraction then loa community on tumblr. The baseline desire for actual freedom and control so that I don’t ever have to experience any suffering as I have before has been a constant even though my self concept and faith in myself was bad, so I just overcomplicated stuff and never truly applied it. Non dualism says I don’t even have to deal with the self concept thing because the mindset is also just an illusion, since I already am everything and everything is an illusion…

But does that mean, some of the painful experiences I have had were not real? The things I read about history was not real? The human suffering, war crimes, movements, none of that were real? Why am I even aware of all this in the first place? Has no one actually been hurt ever? 

I used to be religious and then delved into new agey spirituality a little, it was like this world is a test, God makes you go through suffering because He knows you can handle it, the reason all this has happened is because the end of times are slowly coming along, there a divine reasoning for everything. I used to be scared of following the wrong path and never achieving true spiritual enlightenment… But in non-dualism, there is no higher power, I am the operant. 

Lets take another example of something that I have gone through and a desire of mine related to all this. This world has issues and ofc I don’t want to live in a world like that, I want a world where everything is great. Lets take: misogyny (I am girl, born one and identify as one). So from a young age, I have seen stuff, I have read stuff from history, news, studies and religious books about women and how they have been treated throughout the world. When I was dabbling into spirituality, I came across all these divine femininity coaches who vehemently preach that women/feminine are supposed to submit to men/masculine as the masculine is Solar/God/Supreme Consciousness, only the masculine rises as men are primal leaders and leadership/authority/power is masculine, without men and the masculine part of women’s consciousness women can never be free and reach enlightenment (since women are the earth, men are Heaven). This is Divine Truth, natural order and the P word is just a narrative and not true, its just the weak feminine with their family destroying ideology and waves of the F movement vilifying life giving God (Men) because of few instances of distorted expression (which is somehow for women’s good, everything men have done good bad ugly is just God working for goodness). I kid you not, it exists, thousands of women buy their courses, have groups etc. These coaches and podcasters, I was not aware of them before, but they existed and influence people and have a large following even though I WAS NOT AWARE (I am not screaming, the caps are for emphasis, very sorry as it can come off as me being angry). Then I became aware, saw them, felt even more miserable. So did I create this? Are they not actually real? As in they are just see through holograms, like Joi from Blade Runner 2049? 

I am so scared….is there free will and free beings? Then how do I have all the power? Yk with the whole multiple reality thing, I used to be scared that there will always be a reality where things were worse and people were suffering, that I could also just become aware of it or lose everything since I worry a lot. So are these coaches and all real as in like me, outside of me? If I want these coaches to change their mind and put out statements about their new beliefs (what I want them to think), will THEY do it? The idea of versions never really got in my head because then I’m like..they actually didn’t change, its gives me the whole *My truth, my lens* thing, because I am like if someone said non dualism is not true and its their truth and their lens, well its false (just because they say their their truth and preach it, doesnt mean its right) . If people went through horrific things at the hands of others, did it not truly happen, where they were in control, did they cause it? Is there karma, is their truth to those femininity coaches preaching Jungian theory? 

Do you kind of get what I am trying to say? What am I getting wrong? What is misplaced within my understanding? 

I just…don’t want anyone to suffer, the possibility of it scares me so much. I am scared of this world, I am scared that nothing is actually within my power and I’ll just be in a bubble, unaware, while everything burns down in flames.

If its too much, and you'd like me to clarify, please tell me. Since I am sending it as an anon, if you give a sign, I will text you as soon as I see your reply. Again, I am very sorry for the information overload. I have a lot of anxiety and pain from that particular thing.

-Raina

that was a lot 🧍‍♀️things to remember: existence cannot take place until you are aware of it and the moment youre not aware it doesnt exist. so trolls! im talking mythical creatures and internet trolls. neither exist until youre aware of them and cease to exist once they leave your awareness. so even blocking someone cast them out of your awareness and you cant see their stuff until you decide you want to. nothing existed until you were aware of it because as consciousness, your awareness is what dictates to “you” whats real and whats not. all of the false forms of consciousness don’t actually exist because its only you that exist.

yes. the past history future etc are not real. the only real thing is right now whatever you are aware of in this very moment. be present and happy. as to why you were aware of it im not sure? why are we aware of anything? we are just beings of consciousness under the human condition. stuff happens. its okay and not real. let it be.

as for all of that divine feminine bs i have no say. never heard of anything like that thank god 🙏

theres no free will and there is no separation in reality. it is just you as the operant power. you dont have to do anything. non dualism isnt ab desires or others because they dont actually exist. it is just you :)