#I am old and salty

[mariana-oconnor]

I really hate modern website design. Massive picture with a meaningless slogan then scroll down to magically appearing fluff text, then some more magically appearing fluff text, then some more until you get to the bottom of the page and have found nothing of actual use, only to discover a virtually invisible menu button in the top right corner of the screen that hides all the actual website from you. Website designers, when did useability stop being something you were allowed to care about?

[silver-horse]

unfortunately I have opinions about the ascendant astarion ending and I have been holding back from saying it. but it's a problem that applies to the whole game and it's been annoying me

what's actually weird about the ascendant "romance" scene is that the writer considers it a tempting option for the player. They wrote it to be bad, but they also think it's a fun and sexy option. Same goes for the haarlep scene which they also wrote that way because they find it sexy. Except finding this sexually appealing entirely hinges on the idea that the player is a submissive. So RIP to a scene that the rest of us could have found sexy because the lead narrative designer was a submissive. lmao

In this game you can have a scene where you have to kneel for a male character. But you can never have a male character do the same for you. (Halsin doesn't count. It's a vanilla scene, he is not submissive there and we are not even asking/telling him to kneel down) You don't get such options, not even if you play a drow female! RIP the number one reason for playing drow female to be honest. lol You can kneel and fully submit to ascendant astarion or fully submit to mizora or fully submit to haarlep or submit to lae'zel or submit to minthara. you can get whipped by abdirak or you can tell him "touch me and lose a hand" he even responds positively to this remark and yet the possibility to flip the dynamic doesn't exist. There is never an option where a male character truly submits to the player. RIP to a scene that would have been the opposite of the traditional dynamic. the potential that existed but they never used the opportunity

By the way, how interesting that Lae'zel is dominant but she is a woman so ofc you get the option to tell her “no you will submit to me”. You never get such switch options with any of the male characters... Obviously it's not ascendant where they could have made that an option. My point is that it's NEVER an option among so many male characters.

It's a cool idea that the bad ending in a romance means "I saw this character as a sex object" except it falls apart when the scene is very sexually unappealing to anyone who is more dominant leaning. If I see a character as a sex object then I would place them in sexual situations which are appealing to me. so the message doesn't quite work. because there isn't anything that I can selfishly choose for myself just because I like it and I find it sexy.

[eyes1nthewoods]

hello 2018 dbh fandom. before you are two characters. one is a woman with complex but clumsy writing. the other is a white man with no spoken lines who appears for less than a minute. you have 10 seconds before the saw traps go off. choose wisely.

[slocumjoe]

Biggest complaints about each companion

Warning, reference to in-game dark subject matter.

This is subjective and mostly me wishing for a more thoughtful story, with themes beyond robot racism.

Cait: TDLR; Her backstory is too much for how it's handled

It feels like Cait got thrown every bad thing she could have. With trauma in characters, less is more, and in Cait's case, it doesn't help that her writing is more interested in her trauma than who she is as a person. Like Cait only matters as a character because of what she went through and what that demonstrates about the wasteland, rather being a person first.

I would like to point out, her parents waited until she was 18 to sell her. Because, apparently, age of consent matters to sex slavers. It demonstrates a lack of commitment to the dark topic, which usually means you should tone it down. Leave one aspect, and keep the other. Abusive parents or slavery, not both.

Since Cait is our only basegame raider companion, you could use her to humanize raiders by showing how the cycle of trauma creates them. "But Gage—" is a little bitch.

Codsworth: TDLR; Focuses too much on his pre-war relationship to the player

What was Codsworth doing those 200 years? Did he just hang out in Sanctuary? Did no one ever come to Sanctuary in the meantime? Codsworth has no relation to the plot or world beyond Sole.

I think Codsworth should have had a quest about how he went out and tried to help where he could, but now doesn't know where those people are, and wants to know what became of them. Something to give Codsworth a connection to the wasteland. Or maybe Codsworth shouldn't have been the Sole Surivor's robot at all, just one that wandered into Sanctuary and met them. Then you could have a point that the first human the Sole saw after freezing (Kellogg) was cruel, but the first 'soulless' machine was kind, which makes a point about the main plot and the idea that being human doesn't make you 'human.'

Curie: TDLR; Should have been related directly to the main plot

Curie is a robot that is put inside a synth—which is, biologically, completely human in all but a chip in their head and the circumstances of their creation—and is totally fine. She learns to breathe, gets thoughts and feelings in a way a Ms. Nanny wouldn't, and handles sensations without bricking.

Send this bitch to the Institute and BOS, are you kidding me? Curie is walking proof of synths being more than machines. She has wants, imagination, potentially even dreams and nightmares. This is never brought up by anyone.

Also, Curie is a robot, and then inhuman, but still a person, and she uses science and her compassion to help the wasteland, where those who would destroy or enslave her use it to further their own egos.

Danse: TDLR; MAKE HIM SAY SORRY TO NICK AND HANCOCK

Danse's real character arc starts at his final affinity post BB, and then it doesn't go anywhere. He never learns to accept himself, or synths, or ghouls. Danse is a character that shows the terrible function of 4 Affinity Talks, because he needs, like, 10 of the things.

Danse needed his likes/dislikes updated after BB, interactions with Nick and Hancock, and a proper character arc where he unlearns his worst traits and the BOS's bullshit.

Deacon: TDLR; Dead wife? Really?

Can Deacon not just be a goofball man who used to be a bigot, and now works hard to help the people he hurt? Because Barbara and her death implies that Deacon didn't change because it was the right thing to do, but because bigotry personally affected him.

If there must be a death, make it that his community tore itself apart trying to find synths among them. Y'know, like...a witch hunt? In Salem, maybe? Since we didn't do anything interesting with Salem, one of the most interesting places in the USA? Deacon sees this and sees that it doesn't matter if synths are human or not, hatred will inevitably hurt anyone, because it doesn't actually care who you are. Hatred doesn't need a reason, only a target. The Synth plot should have been an allegory for McCarthyism instead of slavery, change my mind.

Hancock: TDLR; He's a historical LARPER that doesn't do anything in terms of a narrative.

No, Todd. You can't make John Hancock a ghoul and call it an OC.

Hancock could have had a story about identity crisis, idolatry, and trying to escape your past. We also get hints at a complex political issue in Goodneighbor about the push-and-pull between the desire for total freedom/anarchy, but the need for some kind of law and order. Hancock has a casual friendliness, and acts like 'one of the people,' but he is the mayor. There's tension there. Can your leader be your friend? Can your friend call all the shots while still being on equal footing with you? Can you lead a group of people who look up to you as a hero, and still retain modesty and not subconsciously separate yourself?

I like Hancock, he's fun, he has a lot of interesting narrative stuff. But he doesn't do anything with it. It could have been a nice parallel with Elder Maxson, too.

MacCready: TDLR; Small inconsistencies + dude, go get your son???

Mac doesn't ever go back to Duncan, and Duncan never comes to the Commonwealth. I understand that the former is for game play reasons, but the latter feels like the writers forgot that Duncan exists.

MacCready has some issues with the likes/dislikes. I think they're mistakes instead of intended, but still. For example, in the Vault 81 quest. MacCready likes letting Austin die. He dislikes it if you give the cure.

There's also Sheffield, the soda addict in Diamond City. MacCready claims to have never seen someone with a sugar addiction, but Zip, from Little Lamplight, had an addiction.

Mac is mostly fine, aside from these inconsistencies. The Dead Wife thing sucks, but I allow it because it's pretty fundamental to his story, rather then being tacked on for sad points.

Nick: TDLR; Eddie Winter is a stupid bad guy with a stupid quest and Jenny Lands is a stupid tragic backstory

Eddie Winter being the first ghoul ever is mind-bogglingly bad. You're telling me that they made ghouls before the bombs? And even if they did, Winter couldn't be the first. How the fuck would anyone know that radiation makes you immortal if you do it right, otherwise?! So, that's a contradiction within an already contrived premise. And not only that, but he just. Leaves a bunch of holotapes with a number on the back, that make a code to the basement of his favorite sandwich shop, which just so happens to be on the same street Jenny gets fridged?

So, Eddie Winter (or one of his goons) was eating one day, looked out, saw the fiance of the detective hunting him and recognized her (????), shot her, and then presumably returned to his fucking sandwich??????

And then 2 centuries later, a clone of that detective somehow finds the holotapes, untouched, unmoved, still functioning and retaining the painted-on numbers. The numbers didn't...fade? Wipe off?

You can keep the concept of Nick wanted to finish something Pre-war Nick didn't get to, but this...this isn't it.

Like, Skinny Malone was right there. Maybe just Darla shows up when you free Nick, and then later Nick has to contend with Malone and the Triggermen in some grand conspiracy with Mayor MacDonough, Hancock, and Piper.

Preston: TDLR; The radiant quest mechanic fucked him over and his voice actor needed some retakes

The moment you get Radio Freedom, Preston should have stopped giving quests. Easy fix there. It would have saved him almost a decade of shitty memes.

The real problem with Preston is that his VA beefed it bad. I can quote some of his lines with perfect inflection because the VA just did it so poorly. X6-88's VA had to play a monotonous, little-emotion character, and he still nailed it and gave X6 a lot of personality and distinction. Preston sounds like a modded-in character. And Jon Gentry is a pretty good actor! He has a great live-action presence in his demo reels on IMDB. I think he just struggled to put his performance into his voice rather than his presence/body language, and they didn't let/have him do a retake.

Piper: TDLR; So much potential, so much failure. Piper is a shitty reporter, and that could have been a great opportunity to have commentary on the ethics of journalism.

Journalism is supposed to be a duty to the people. It has responsibilities and ethics that are very easily misunderstood or forgotten for the sake of the next article. A good journalist is not always accurate. An accurate journalist is not always kind. A kind journalist is not always good.

Piper is not a good journalist, because her writing is not informative, it isn't news or useful info. She writes about MacDonough being a synth—she's basically writing callout posts on her blog.

Piper is not an accurate journalist, because she never has evidence for this claim. She says MacDonough is a synth, that the Institute took the Survivor's baby even if the Survivor says no.

Piper is not a kind journalist, because she fearmongers and makes things worse for synths. She complains that no one believes or trusts her word, but the second thing you ever see in Diamond City is a man trying to kill his brother for fear he's been replaced.

This is all fine, if addressed and explored. But it isn't. Piper seems to be chasing the high of exposing authority, and both times, she's right. We, the player, know she's right because we find out later she is. Imagine if we didn't. Imagine that reveal scene never comes. Every issue of Publick Occurances is trying to start a witchhunt, and Piper doesn't notice that it's working.

So, let's make her arc about worrying about her sister.

X6-88: TDLR; BRUH HE HAS NOTHING

No backstory, no relationships with other characters, no quest, no character arc.

TODD. You had the chance to humanize the Institute, or at least show what it's like being an Institute synth that isn't free. And you, instead, put all that time into fucking KELLOGG. You think I give a fuck about KELLOGG? I don't even give a fuck about SHAUN.

🌠Honorable mentions🌠

Gage: Hypocrite that thinks becoming the problem is fixing the problem, also he has both eyes. What do you need an eyepatch for.

Strong: Bethesda Super Mutants suck shit. Y'know Erikson fron Far Harbor? Would rather have him.

Longfellow: Dead Wife Man. Again, would have preferred Erikson.

Dogmeat and Ada: Perfect, no notes.

Best companions are:

Dogmeat, for being doggy

Ada, for being robot lady

Preston, for being perfect aside from two technical, Doylist issues.

[gophergal]

hello

im sorry

[allianettemie5]

At the end of the day, there are a few things that are more important than winning:

1. This is not a canon event. The 1000% win rate is real

2. Now you have an excuse to push people

3. Mr, your hotness is a far greater asset than some game skills

4. You have balls to ride a taxi in a maid outfit

5. This right here makes you RELATABLE; it's one of the reasons you have so many people cheer you on even if things are not going great; this, your vulnerability, your emotions, your character, this all is why we love you soooo much

6. This whole time there were people in the crowd that were there for YOU. For YOU alone. Your friends, that maybe will joke around for a bit, but will have your back no matter what. This is succeeds any fails that you may encounter in your way and it's a feat that many will envy and that will push you forward

(7. Also, there is a person across the world from you, that sits in front of their pc in the middle of the night, that should've probably gone to bed a while ago, sits there and feels so fucking proud of you. You talk about single core, about losing hope, about bringing everything down, but you were always lighting at least a single person's life up - it's so much more that most people can imagine accomplishing)

[fumiko-matsubara]

I've been wanting to do those senior yearbook edits for a while now, so here's one with high school Kanzaki Yukiko 💕

[emeraldhazeart]

Everyone else: Urgh! Why did they change <insert character redesign here>?!?

Me: What did they do to the horse?!? 😭

[coockie8]

In the same "character acts like another character is being unreasonable for something that makes perfect sense if you actually think about it for 2 seconds" vein as "Vlad has every right to hate Jack given the man hospitalised then ghosted him for several years", I would probably hate Christmas if I had to listen to my parents scream at each other about the same pointless bullshit every year for 14 years too!

[saltynsassy31]

There isn't enough of this very specific scenario that I didn't think was THAT specific

I got Skyward Swor like, last week, and I just yesterday reached the Faron region (I'm terrible at puzzle solving)

I just want a fanfiction about Link and Groose (not romantic, I don't ship them) before Groose (apperantly) goes to the surface where he notices Link hurt when he's going back and forth and, begrudgingly, helps him without too much spoilers to the general game

Is that too much to ask?

[soimcoga]

Leo is a fairly decent cook (they all are), he had to be, as the oldest in a family with the father who had to go out for prolonged time to provide for food. And it was fine up until the moment Donatello introduced advanced electrical utensils into their lives.

Leo's fine with their old gas stove, fine with their old-fashioned stove kettle, fine with mincing meat and chopping vegetables by hand, fine with mixing dough and cream and other mixables only using his trusty whisk, but the moment his hand touches any electric utensils, all goes down for some reason.

This guy can sneak a look at an advanced piece of alien tech and master it to be considered one of the best pilots in known universe, but he cannot for the love of him figure out a simple toaster.

This phenomena is actually studied by both Rockwell and Donnie, and they are yet to make any breakthroughs.

[ari-shipping-stuff]

"we're continuing the story in nightbringer" im sorry WHAT story, the one you're restarting??? 😭 😭 😭 😭

[theanonymousninja247]

Informal

When your English professor gives you permission to be “informal” in your paper, and you’re a salty writer with a personality because he called you “trouble” for having a mind and using it.

[goblins-and-gloves]

If you take care of all your siblings one day your hard work will be rewarded and you will get to take care of your parents and grandparents too.

[waywardsalt]

i have. so many notes app damibeck wips

[thirdmagic]

people I hate, in 2013: urobuchi is a better writer than nasu because he's edgy and dark and fate/zero is the only good fate series because it's edgy and dark unlike the stupid dating sim stuff and doesn't have teenagers as the main cast and saber is a badass king instead of a cute waifu

flash forward to 2024 and nasu wrote the best version of saber you've ever seen or will witness in your entire life, who is superficially much more cutesy than saber has ever been in fate route ever and also has some of the best characterization and most heartrending story arc to ever exist, in a story chapter so fucked up it makes fate zero look like a cakewalk, oh also it's part of a sexy ladies game with teenage (ish) main characters and all the waifu pandering you could ever imagine