#I am not in control here
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Welp, it happened again. I had an outline, and my characters were like, nah.
#writing#writer problems#on writing#writer things#writer stuff#fic writing#creative writing#my writing#i'm a writer#writer's life#writblr#nah bro#we've got our own ideas#we'll take it from here#my characters have a mind of their own#I'm just the author#I am not in control here#writer woes
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y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable
#ramble#it's not loud btw it's just like. singing along in the car volume#not to get on my soapbox but there's a literal dent in his wall from his controller. and we're in the uk you CANNOT punch through walls#idk about anyone else but i've NEVER yelled at a video game?? like i'm absolute dogshit at 80% of them#and i've never had a PHYSICAL reaction beyond maybe 'ughh' then turning it off#if you're getting that angry maybe you just need to play different games because you're clearly not having fun#also added bonus that i didn't realise until adulthood. as a former daughter#cis son privileges are CRAZY#i don't even swear in front of my parents and my dude is just screaming actual slurs next door with NO consequences#like you wouldn't do that in public why is it ok to do it here#i think i've said fuck in front of my mum ONCE and i literally couldn't look at her the entire day#this is a box i am not ready to unpack yet akdhdh#is this just a my family thing or is this common
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yeah
#i cant control who i am i am a complex individual who just really likes antagonists (?) in suits#grimmsley isnt really an antagonist but hes getting lumped in#TO BE FAIR ionly started using tumblr in 2018#i was never on here during the hayday of sexymen#i WAS on deviantart though and Man i wanted to be able to draw like the people who made sexymen#12 old me had ambitions
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can you draw some more medic and pauling...? I would love them just gossiping
have some doodles! Something something patient confidentiality....
#tf2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 miss pauling#testing out a new lineart brush....i realllly like it. its very calligraphic butcan give you interesting looks when you control it more#anyhow IDK if you are even into tf2 anymore with how slow i am answering asks but i had a boring meeting today so could doodle during it#might finish these all off as i see some nice bits here and there in them#lo! behold my really rough sketches lol only the first has had considerable cleanup
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THE FIRST OMEN dir. Arkasha Stevenson, 2024
#the first omen#the omen franchise#horroredit#junkfooddaily#horror#motionpicturesource#filmedit#dailyflicks#filmgifs#moviegifs#*mywork#shesnake#higabi#awekslook#useranusia#dearestmillie#useroro#foraddy#'and i saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon and out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth#of the false prophet'...............#'and he opened his mouth in blasphemy against god to blaspheme his name and his tabernacle and them that dwell in heaven'!!!!!!!!!#CRAZY STUFF JUST WILD!!!!!!!!!#btw u can count urselves lucky that i managed to control myself enough to NOT put one of these bible verses in the caption bro i am a#life long atheist i should not be sitting around here knowing revelations by heart why do i have these things in my brain
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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the master works discourse on twitter is killing me. none of these bitches understood the game or its characters AT ALL
#'they should have kept the festival instead of making it so no one knew who link was' HE DID NOT WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED.#his whole thing is that he felt so much pressure because of the attention he got precalamity that he WENT MUTE.#WHY WOULD HE WANT A GIANT FESTIVAL IN HIS HONOR REMINDING HIM OF THE THING THAT LOWKEY RUINED HIS LIFE#LIKE???? okay guys i get it the concept art was pretty. but in terms of characterization it makes NO SENSE FOR HIM#he has been the center of attention since he was 12 years old and he EXPLICITLY DOES NOT LIKE IT#like do you honestly think that the low profile he keeps in totk was not a deliberate choice?? especially when EVERYONE knows zelda???#if he wanted attention he could have had attention. he CHOSE to be 'that guy who's always with the princess' instead of the hero of hyrule#basically his entire adolescence was lost to the calamity. he was not allowed to have an identity outside of his duty to the kingdom#OF COURSE when given the opportunity he's going to choose to build an identity completely divorced from that duty.#he did it. hes done. he doesnt HAVE to be that person anymore. no one recognizes him as the hero and that means that he gets to be HIMSELF#instead. UGHHHH ANYWAYS#sorry i cant start arguments with grown men on twitter so i have to vaguepost here instead#this is self-control. i am Controlling Myself.#personal
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Im addicted to tumblr porn and i cant go back to normal anymore 🤤😍 Tumblr made me better and wetter, so much more icky and depraved 💖
Edging is good for me, good girls edge, good girls never cum 🤤💦
#mine#dumb wh0re#dumb slvt#cnc k!nk#daddy's good girl#edging and denial#0rgasm control#0rgasm denial#tumblr deactivated my prev blogs so here i am again#lost like 500followers ish#😭😭😭
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Alternative form of 'Hitting Wangxian with a Catboyification beam'
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I don't have much more of an explanation to this other than 'i was struck by the vision and needed to create it'#They are both catboy coded. To me. On slightly different alignments of catboy but still.#LWJ is catboy: Fussy + bites and WWX is catboy: Stinky#Neither of them take well to being moved from their nap spot.#I love reading lying on my stomach and my cat just loves it. Hates being moved. We are locked in combat post any cuddle sessions.#I am a cat lover. I love them. They are Rotten little Stinkers. I love them#LWJ is like. *the* definition of 'cat that only likes those its in a bonded pair with.#The kind of cat that screams if it sees any neighborhood cats wandering outside.#wwx is a 'outdoor cat that wandered inside and became domesticated but NOT owned' kinda guy.#he is a menace on the local bird population and the only reason he's not dad to all the kittens is that he got fixed young.#UNLESS: the golden core transfer here was the balls (?) Animal control took JCs balls and WWX gave his up (????)#((I Also Don't Know What I'm Saying))
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This is the face of a man who's mentally going through all of his exes to figure out which one he got pregnant.
#tdp viren#viren tdp#lord viren#what if he and opeli had a drunk one night stand once?#it ended up with them hating one another even more#it didn't however end up in a way where you can definitely rule out pregnancy#sidenote: viren do you think you have a choice here? since when were you the one in control?#you can choose to be done with aaravos but what matters is whether or not aaravos chooses to be done with you#tdp#i am rewatching before s6 comes out!#virpeli in the tags btw
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"UWU op defends Israel UWU"-
Have I not made it clear enough what I think of the Israeli government? Have I not made it clear enough that what infuriates me the MOST about all of this shit going on is that neither government gives a damn and civilians will CONTINUE to die because Hamas and Netanyahu are cranking that war machine for their own benefit? Have I not made it clear that I think what the Israeli government is doing is fucking horrific, a war crime, murder, a violation of human rights?
Why do I even need to MAKE that clear? Why is it that you can talk about LITERALLY anything else, any other country, and people don't rush to fucking accuse you of personally supporting the government when you discuss the wrongs committed against a people, but the SECOND you're a Jew you have to justify your stance about Israel?
Why is it that I cannot even be angry about the slaughter of MY FUCKING PEOPLE. Innocents. Civilians. Fucking CHILDREN. The slaughter of the Palestinian people. Innocents. Civilians. FUCKING CHILDREN.
Without one of you absolute fucking monsters deciding to slap some shit on an unrelated post about how "uwu op defends an apartheid state just ignore that"? Do you have to make it part of EVERYTHING I do? Do you consider everything I put out there tainted somehow because I don't support your joy, your cheering, your unrestrained GLEE at the murder of Jews? Do I need to publish a fucking thesis on my stance on Israel, Palestine, and their respective governments like a fucking disclaimer any time I want to talk about myself, my oppression, my experience as a Jew, or a disabled person, or a queer person, because you fuckers cannot for five seconds be NORMAL about Jews?
To decide to slap something about Israel and Palestine on a post I made about MY oppression, about how people will oppress you no matter who you actually are- it all depends who they think you are. It's a bit ironic, isn't it? Doesn't QUITE fit, but it's funny that someone would read that post, agree with it, and then think "Ah yes, THIS is the place to put some tags about how OP, a Jew who has been reeling for the last couple of weeks about the violence, who has been checking on their Israeli friends every day to make sure they aren't fucking dead, who is dealing with vicious antisemitism from people who they thought were friends, who watched as the people claiming to be progressive supporters of human rights on this hellsite and others OVERWHELMINGLY reply to the murder of their people with good they deserved it fuck you, is CLEARLY a defender of an apartheid state and that makes them a bad person because something something I don't know what nuance tastes like and I am a bigoted ass."
I am TIRED.
#antisemitism#i/p#seriously I am exhausted#fuck all of you#I can count on my hands how many people have actually been supportive and kind to me#I have LOST count of how many people#both online and IRL#have either been dismissive and cold#or outright HAPPY that Jews died and will continue to die#I have lost count of how many people here I thought were decent human beings#who I had to block because they responded with a resounding GOOD to what hamas did#and now you fucking antisemitic fucks are dragging this shit onto unrelated posts#and that's nothing NEW you've always been like this#but it is especially exhausting now#the fact that this shit is coming from like#other Americans too?#are you fucking KIDDING ME?#You LIVE here and you don't control everything the fucking government does#but oh every Israeli civilian is responsible and they deserve to be killed#just call me a kike and go instead of doing that shit#at least the Nazis are direct about how much they want me dead#although frankly I'm having trouble telling the difference these days#between you leftist fucks and the Nazis
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The Most Un-Lan-Like Lan (Junior) vs. The Most Un-Lan-Like Lan (Married-In Senior)
Lan Jingyi is such an interesting character. He is very opinionated and often speaks his mind without considering how his words will come across. He is cowardly about the supernatural despite being a cultivator but brave against those in positions of power despite being a child, always willing to stand up for what he thinks is right. Lan Jingyi starts off the story with a low opinion of "Mo Xuanyu," usually acting rude, hostile, or dismissive:
When he turned his head, he saw the Lan juniors tailing him. “Children!” he shouted. Lan Jingyi said, “Who are you calling children? Don’t you know which clan we’re from? Just because you’ve washed your face, you get to act like our senior?”
—Chapt. 9: Pride IV, fanyiyi
Wei Wuxian went to the youngsters. “Am I seeing things right? Each of you is a disciple of a prominent clan. Haven’t your moms, dads, and uncles taught you that the dead can’t receive the paper money you’re burning? They’re dead, what do they need money for? They won’t be able to collect it. Plus, you’re burning the money right at someone’s door—“ Lan Jingyi waved his hand dismissively. “Move aside, move aside, you’re blocking the wind. The fire will burn out at this rate. Anyway, it’s not like you’ve ever died—how do you know whether the dead can collect the money?" ... Lan Jingyi knifed him in the heart again. “Even if you’ve been dead before and didn’t get any, it has to be because no one burned any for you.”
—Chapt. 42: Flora X, fanyiyi
It doesn't help that Wei Wuxian, playing into his "gay lunatic" persona, is intentionally trying to put everyone off:
Lan Jingyi said, “Why are you crying? You’re the one who said you like Hanguang Jun! Now he even brought you home. So what are you howling for?” Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows were wrinkled, his lips frowned, and his face was the perfect picture of misery.
—Chapt. 11: Elegance I, fanyiyi
Wei Wuxian took out the apple from the breakfast they had given him and offered it to the donkey. As expected, as soon as the animal bit in, it stopped braying, and began smacking its lips and crunching the fruit with its teeth instead. Wei Wuxian touched the back of its neck and thought about the jade passage tokens the juniors carried while pointing at the round, white rabbits covering the ground. “I’m really not allowed to cook them? So if I cooked them, I’d be chased off the mountain?” As though facing a major enemy, Lan Jingyi opened his arms and stepped in front of him immediately. “These are Hanguang Jun’s rabbits. We just help watch them once in a while. Don’t you dare cook them!”
...
“I can’t get up,” he said sincerely. “Uh, what’s happened to you now?” Lan Sizhui said. “What’s happened to me? Your clan’s Hanguang Jun ravished me!” Lan Jingyi piped up louder and fiercer. “If you keep spouting nonsense, we’re not going to let it go. Come out!”
—Chapt. 19: Sunshine I, fanyiyi
Yet despite all this, once Wei Wuxian sheds his "Mo Xuanyu" cover and begins to seriously lean into his mentorship role, Lan Jingyi becomes one of his most vocal followers amongst the juniors, seeing the man as both a steady pillar to rely on—on par with his idol, Hanguang-jun—and someone whose safety he is concerned with, so much so that he can even cast aside his fear of the supernatural to volunteer himself as bait in Wei Wuxian's stead:
Wei WuXian said to them, “When the second group of fierce corpses rushes in, I will lure them towards the Pool of Blood, and HanGuang-Jun will be in charge of slaying them. With this target here,” He patted himself, “They won’t bother you. Don’t be tempted by battle, just run.” For once, Lan SiZhui’s raised his voice, “No! We can’t do that. There’s no way!” Sect Leader OuYang had given up trying to hold his son still. OuYang ZiZhen, “Senior-Wei, we will slay the corpses too! I can slay a hundred more!” Meanwhile, Lan JingYi had already started to undress, “I’ll draw a flag on myself too!”
—Chapt. 81: Core Part 3, boat-full-of-lotus-pods
OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior-Wei collapse?” Lan WangJi, “Tired.” Lan JingYi was astonished, “I thought that Senior-Wei would never tire!”
—Chapt. 84: Core Part 6, boat-full-of-lotus-pods
Soon, he began again, “Speaking of it, why didn’t I see SiZhui and the squad this time back?” In the past, these juniors would’ve crowded around them and begun chirping all the way from the entrance of the mountain. Hearing him mention SiZhui and the juniors, Lan WangJi’s brows relaxed somewhat, “I can take you to see them.” After he led Wei WuXian to find Lan SiZhui, Lan JingYi, and the others, the juniors didn’t do anything apart from calling out in delight.
—Chapt. 114: Banquet Extra, exr
With such a fierce and impressionable personality, it's no wonder he's one of the few juniors whose name Wei Wuxian can remember 😂
#xiantober#mdzs#human metas mxtx#happy bday wei-qianbei from your duckings 🐥#fandom says that ljy is 'wwx if he were a lan'#i am here to say that this is a wildly incorrect take#ljy is actually closer to jin ling in personality#or a lqr if lqr had less impulse control in his communication and wasn't obsessed with the rules if we're getting real spicy#but ljy represents an ability to go with the flow and accept change#whether in circumstances or his core beliefs#and that's what makes him different from (and better than) lqr
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you ever just wanna go apeshit
#me#my art#vent art#im just going thru the motions (get me out of here get me out of here get me ou#i am not very sunbathing on a log in my swamp all chill like rn#not about anyone in particular just things outside of my control#but drawing this made me feel better its rly fuckin funny#gator#sona#my sona#animal#gif#vent#alligator#anthro#furry art#sorta#im just a silly gator
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still trying to figure out how to exactly draw these lil guys so more doodles wahoo! ( plus oc woa- )
#logic as a oc is pretty unoriginal i know#quq#doodle#inside out anxiety#inside out 2#inside out#anxiety why are you both so fun to draw but also so difficult to d r a w#logic my silly lil fella#kinda a robot#also sorta inspired off of like#windows a tad#thinking about how these emotions work in different scenarios is really fun#but like - are there also lil guys in places like your heart and stuff??#how far does the rabbit hole go????#is there drama in my head that i am completely unaware about ??#do these emotions see me thinking about them and get a tad awkward about it ???#if i know that there are little guys in my head am i like#still a autonomous person or just a kind of vessel with character traits here or there#what dictacts what?? who controls who and what i do ????#anyways yeah silly guys love them with my little heart#pat pat on head
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anyway i'm always fascinated by the people who think that trans men transition purely to escape misogyny and gain social capital. idk how it is for other people, but since i transitioned i have not only experienced more misogyny than i ever did before but also lost access to the public spaces and support systems that might have helped me deal with it
#the people on here who claim that trans men have male privilege are also fascinating to me.#i experience the exact same marginalisation i experienced when presenting female#except it now comes with extra steps#i am not more likely to be hired or promoted; my opinion is not more likely to be respected#my rights and freedoms are even more restricted than they were before and i still get harassed on a regular basis#my body is still a topic of political debate and my voice is still silenced#i still feel obliged to control my appearance and clothing and body language in order to be treated with respect#and i can't even talk about it because i'm not a woman and therefore have no place in The Conversation#i don't regret transitioning but if you think that i'm getting any kind of privilege out of it you're mad
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