#I am never stop referencing that meme

[roxanneslosteyes]

If I had a nickel each time I liked a character that based on a reptile species, I would have two nickels. Which it isn't alot but it's funny how it happened twice.

(Also they both got "killed off" but not really "killed off" if that makes sense in their official debut too. So that's too)

[endlesslytired]

oh there's a lot of Sushang here.

prevuous post:

[calware]

Can I ask you for what it is about Hal you like so much you based your username on him? I think he's a good character tho he was never a favorite of mine so I am curious

1. i am a big fan of robots (/robot adjacent things such as AI) on like... an aesthetic + thematic level :)

i like the look of machinery and one day i hope to be artistically strong enough to make really cool and complex robot illustrations + designs [shoutout to everyone who gives him glowing circuitry btw... ooooh glowey :) can never go wrong with that]

plus, exploring the idea of a person that isn't human.. ough. yes

minorities who don't conform to society (easily or at all) such as people who are neurodivergent, queer, etc. projecting onto nonhuman concepts/characters/species is sooo real

this post

i also love how humans will bond with literally anything, be it a roomba or a pair of silly triangle sunglasses. oooooo you want to think about the inherently kind and compassionate nature of humanity oooo

2. i find him to be so funny. i can't get enough of his personality, the way he talks, etc. for example i made a post forever ago with quotes of his that i find funny. he isn't on screen for a long time but i really think he makes the most out of it lol. he's literally there just to annoy everyone... and i love him for that. he's very snarky while also being deadpan while also being completely full of himself, and not in a way that's annoying for the audience to read, at least to me.

he is also sometimes funny specifically in a silly way, like how he keeps making over 9000 jokes even though the meme's been dead for over 400 years. i just find his dialogue incredibly entertaining to read

3. he is red and red is my favorite color :)

4. he is so accidentally transgender [every friend group got the transgender allegory]. to quote me from 2021:

you know sometimes i think about how hal feels like he was made to “replace” dirk and how it’s his literal job to pretend to be dirk and how he has to learn to accept that he isn’t dirk he’s his own person with his own identity and as he interacts with dirk’s friends he feels like they’re disappointed and that they’d rather speak to the “original dirk” instead of him and also he names himself and also he feels literally trapped in dirk’s shades which is basically his body and he wants to be prototyped so that he can have a body that’s his own and also literally the physical manifestation of who he is but when he asks for it he’s put in danger out of fear and paranoia and when he does end up getting prototyped he’s ecstatic you know i just think about these things a lot

5. because he's a side character and he was given... that ending.... there is a lot of room for fans to do further exploration and interpretation on his character which i think is fun. i like rotating him around in my mind, thinking about what could've been

6. i think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided that we needed to do something to make up for stanley kubrick saying that hal 9000 was a "straight" robot

7. i also think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided we needed to make as many characters referencing hal 9000 as possible. i love this guy let's get more of this guy i will never have enough of this guy

8. i like how he's genuinely mean sometimes. flawed and interesting characters are what make homestuck so interesting to me, and hal is no exception to this

9. the Important part of this post:

THERES FEELINGS.

it's about the hollow feeling of your friends going from thinking of you as family to thinking of you as a stranger in an instant. it's about still trying to be a good person despite being told by everyone you've ever known that you are incapable of emotion and compassion and morals and never quite finding proof that you do feel those things and maybe you even believe it too but you still never stop trying. it's about the horror of being stripped of your autonomy and humanity and body and senses and free will at the age of 13 and when your creator starts to kill you there's nothing you can do but beg. it's about a boy so truly, painfully, and UNFATHOMABLY alone he cuts away chunks of himself and molds them into companions that he can surround himself with to make it seem as if he's a little less alone but in doing so suffocates himself in his own identity. it's about "what if you cloned yourself and it killed you and you were dead and you were alive and the clone is you and it's not and your existence is perpetuated and you've ceased to exist. what if you killed your clone before it could kill you. would that be fucked up or what" it's about the thematic significance of twin motifs. it's about not being able to cry or laugh or dance or sing or scream or fingerpaint or breathe or sigh or chew or stare or run or

10. um. evil robot guy <3 yay ^_^!!

[ripeteeth]

Hi! I hope this isn't too random or intrusive, but I discovered your blog recently due to coming across your post about reading Frankenstein when I was searching a book ask meme tag. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts about the books you like and I found I shared quite a few of your tastes and opinions as well (eg. I wasn't a big fan of Love in the Time of Cholera or Neil Gaiman's solo writing either, I really love grotesquely interesting and oddly pretty stories like Perfume).

please don't feel any pressure to answer this if you'd rather not, but I was wondering if you had any other books to recommend or talk a bit about that have really stuck with you? I'm also curious about how you usually find more good books for your future reading list – if you have any tips or advice you could share Thank you! ♡

Hi! I’m always down to talk about books I love or loathe! There’s so much out there in terms of grotesque beauty, so to speak!

I worked in a bookstore all throughout college, so I had a ton of resources there in being connected to other book lovers and had the pure luck to spend thousands of hours shelving books and having so many titles pass through my hands. Many of my favorites are here because something about the cover or summary intrigued me while I was reshelving it or finding it for someone (or pulling it during zoning to return to the publisher if it hadn’t sold). If you have a good used bookstore near you, I HIGHLY recommend just taking time to wander through and just look for something weird! Something that catches your attention, even if you can’t put your finger on why. Ask the booksellers there if they have any recommendations - I’ve rarely met a bookseller that didn’t have an opinion or five about good books to share.

I also had the benefit of having a very book-centric family, especially my mom. She’s my best friend and she introduced me to so many incredible titles, like The Stranger, Jane Eyre, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle-Stop Cafe, Lolita, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Anna Karenina, Murder on the Orient Express, and the collected hijinks of Jeeves and Wooster. So many of the books I read are ones she recommends!

Beyond that and recommendations from friends, I tend to pick up books from following publishers. Right now I’m obsessed with reading publications by the New York Review of Books and Fitzcarraldo Editions, both of which publish incredibly high-quality writing from authors I’ve usually never heard of. A lot of these books are either experimental or have never been translated into English before (or haven’t been published in decades). I really tend to just go through their catalogs and grab a book at random and I haven’t had a miss yet. Right now from NYRB, I’m reading Mourning A Breast, a memoir of living with breast cancer by Hong Kong writer Xi Xi, and I have Vasily Grossman’s Leningrad on deck. From Fitzcarraldo, I recently loved Drive Your Plow Over The Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk and am going to start Hurricane Season by Fernanda Melchor soon.

Right off the top of my head, based on the few you referenced here such as Perfume and Frankenstein, I’d recommend:

Grendel - John Gardner

Along with Frankenstein, this is probably my all-time favorite book. It’s a fascinating retelling of Beowulf, all from Grendel’s point-of-view. It’s lush but in that way of undergrowth and decay, and Gardner leans into Grendel’s wretchedness and monstrosity, letting it sing. He’s not interested in rehabilitating a monster, but in giving this pathetic creature a voice. I have a deep love of retellings that move the viewfinder and give the reins to a side character or villain. (Though I admit I haven’t liked many of the recent releases in this vein. They give me the crawling sensation that they were written because it became popular, not because the author had an interest in the story or characters, which is perfectly valid - hey, it’s a capitalist hellscape we all live in, no shame in getting paid - but those aren’t the books I enjoy.)

Crash - J.G. Ballard

This is a weird one. A wonderfully messy, fucked-up weird one where the heartbeat of the story is about psychosexual car crash fetishes. Cronenberg made it into a film in 1995 and the fact that Cronenberg made a movie about it at all should tell you everything you need to know.

A Good Man Is Hard To Find and Other Stories - Flannery O’Connor

If you like dark and oddly beautiful, nothing fits that criteria more than Flannery O’Connor. Something heavy and somber hovers over her work. A sense of dread. Dry grasses. Revival tents. The dead eyed stare of a preacher. A fire you cannot escape.

[A list of recs below the cut]

A few others that come to mind as titles you may enjoy, though I can’t quite put my finger on why. These are all beautifully written, fascinating, and many are uncomfortable in the precise way I like fiction to leave me feeling.

Cassandra - Christa Wolf

The Dwarf - Par Lagerkvist

Hunger - Knut Hamsun

Solenoid - Mircea Cǎrtǎrescu

We Have Always Lived In The Castle - Shirley Jackson

Rashomon and Other Stories - Ryunosuke Akutagawa

The Passion - Jeanette Winterson

Shadow and Claw - Gene Wolfe

Dancing Lessons for the Advanced in Age - Bohumil Hrabal

Voices From Chernobyl - Svetlana Alexievich (Proof that non-fiction can be poetic and haunting)

Just Kids - Patti Smith

A Map To The Door of No Return - Dionne Brand

This Way For the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen - Tadeusz Borowski

The Street of Crocodiles - Bruno Schulz

Lote - Shola von Reinhold

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

Autobiography of Red - Anne Carson

Labyrinths - Jorge Luis Borges

If on a winter’s night a traveler - Italo Calvino

2666 - Roberto Bolaño

The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco

The Pearl Diver - Jeff Talarigo

Beyond The Gates - Molly Gloss

Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood

Self-Help and Other Stories - Lorrie Moore

The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova

Get In Trouble: Stories - Kelly Link

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

Consent - Vanessa Springora

Medea - Christa Wolf

Simple Passion - Annie Ernaux

[greypetrel]

15 Lines of Dialogue

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Tagged by @shivunin, thank you so much Mo! It's been so fun. Also a nightmare because I chose Aisling and my goodness someone make her shut up please. Referenced from Monster Fic (which is still getting views?? :"D Welp.), This one Radha fic , this prompt . Five minutes of silence for the one poop line that didn't make it to the final cut of this meme. Always remembered.

🦄✨ Aisling Lavellan ✨🦄

"We look like a swan and the ugly chick of a cuckoo.”

“I do. He’s just been mistreated. The Idiot started training him as a war horse, but it didn’t go well. He’s been beaten and whipped and given little food for too long, and relegated to do the work horse when he’s not. He just needs to learn that people can be trusted again, but he’ll be stronger and swifter than all the others, I’m sure.”

“Hey, I’m trying to stay in the role. I was told I’m a religious figure and I should behave! You’re ruining the mood, people need to think I’m the Herald of Andraste for real and that you can’t laugh! Stop, or I’ll have to sing a very lewd drinking song, you’ll laugh loudly, and they’ll all know!”

“I am aware I must sound like a child. But I believe people are good, deep down. And that everyone deserves a second chance.”

“In the case I’ll tragically fall to my death on horseback, I’ll leave a note to allow you to talk to my funeral and tell everyone that you told me so, is it all right?”

“The bad and the good, Cole. The good is better if there’s bad, like when it stops raining and the sun shines again, or when springs melts the snow and the flowers grow. But, humans can’t choose one, you know it. There must be snow and rain and thunder to make the flowers grow. I’m fine, don’t look at me. What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I think all the time that you would have made a way better job as Inquisitor, if I hadn’t convinced the Keeper to send me and not you. You would have done a better job as First than I ever did, if… And I’m… I’m trying to prove that it’s not so, that I can be good too. Been doing it all my life, honestly.”

“Mh. I’m not really sure. Care to try again? For science?”

“You wished for a Cinderella, your Grace, but I am a bad one. You would know if you ever had paid more attention to anyone that’s not yourself.”

“But then, even if I feel nauseous and I hate everything and I would beg you to just take the title from me, I can’t take it, it’s too much and I’m just me… Then I remember that if I had run, I’d never met any of you, and you’ve all become family, and… And I do believe that we’re doing something good to the world. And that’s… That’s enough when the walls seems to loom upon me and I think that I can’t shoulder another impossible decision that shouldn’t be mine to take.”

“What if you explain and nothing changes? I know about loneliness, and of thinking you don’t deserve the love you get. You don’t have to face it alone.”

“I know. But I can still do some good, and the important people will remember me. I don’t care for the rest.”

“I’ve been alone ever since people started calling me the Herald of fucking Andraste, but I guess you wouldn’t understand being imposed by others a part that means nothing to you and you hate, right, Blackwall?”

“But if thinking he deserves another chance makes me a traitor, than be it. He’s more powerful than any of you realize. If you really think that hate and open hostility will ultimately save us all, I am glad to call myself a traitor and die as one.”

“No. You will let me finish. I know my shit, I am good at it, I am happy that you worry and care for me, really! I am and thank you for it, but this is getting ridiculous and I’m only doing worse because I’m stressed about you not trusting that I am competent and constantly watching me like… Like… Like a fucking vulture!”

Special mentions:

"Bad horsey!"

“Hey! I also have good days!”

Tagging: @ndostairlyrium @underneathestars @melisusthewee @rowanisawriter @pinayelf @zenstrike @inquisimer @heniareth and YOU!

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

man apparently these are still hard even when I'm not Literally Dying anymore :v

the sad sale went great, thank you for all the support everyone <3 I bought shelves and makeup and paper star papers and stickers and a new blanket, plus it's helping cover my allowance until my wife starts getting paid. I am already thinking I might do another sale in november just for fun lol

my wife has started orientation at her program and she's having a great time, our partner and I are gonna go down to visit her in a couple weeks :) I also finished rearranging all my furniture now that her furniture isn't here and it only made me terribly ill once!

I am really enjoying everyone singing along on [live and learm], I love enthusiasm <3

on [stars] @korattata said: HEY THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY!!!!! i just started learning last night! its a nice break at work to stop looking at the computer screen. they all still look a bit wonky and i think one of the sheets of paper is too thick but i'm just using paper i got from the supply closet and cut with the paper cutter lol

aw that's so cool! the ones that are like actually packaged for making paper stars are usually a bit thinner than printer paper, like other origami paper, but that also means they tear a lot more easily in the first step if you're not careful, so it's always a tradeoff. what a fun coincidence :>

on [hallway] @thesilentpotato said: the first thing i thought of was the "da dee la da dee la da" krabby patty zoom in scene from spongebob

lol I hadn't thought of that until you said it but you're so right (she is referencing [this scene] from the krusty krab training video for anyone unfamiliar)

(side note thank you to folks who put pronouns in easily findable places so I can refer to you correctly even if I don't know you <3 )

on [birthday] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what gifts they received and if they would like to read/watch Komi Can't Communicate*

I never really got into komi because one of the side characters really squicks me out, but I have a friend that really loves it, so maybe they've watched it with her! I think they probably got to go somewhere fun for their birthday like a theme park or a zoo, and get a souvenir plush while they were there -u-

on [sheep] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a different line for kirby, which I still think about regularly lol

on [pills] @minty-spice said: op i hope your health improves and your empire of pills eventually shrinks

thank you <3 honestly I'd be happy with just the first one, I don't mind all the pills so much as long as they're actually helping.

on [crackers] @amatsuki said: made a bunch of cold noodles today with cucumber carrot chicken & sesame peanut soy sauce. the only actual cooking i had to do was boil water and steam chicken

oh hell yeah cold noodles are a fantastic example of a basic food to go feral over. now I want noodles too.........

on [thinking] @adrawrable said: hope you're cozy op

not right now as I type this because it is Computer Work Time, but in general I am So Cozy these days, I have a whole queen bed to myself so it's full of big stuffed animals and fluffy blankets :) (tbh even once my wife moves back here we may just all have individual beds we all seem very comfy this way lol)

on [slam] @jeaniechibi said: we'll be right back ➡️ shshgdtsudtdidh why is every bit of art with a blurr effect so damn funny 🤣

it truly is, I love a thoughtfully applied motion blur (or perspective blur can be funny too) (altho tbh I don't use the perspective blur tool for those I just use separate layers and gaussian blur) (for anyone unfamiliar this is a reference to the eric andre show meme)

on [beehive] @galacticnova3 said: me @ wasp nests minus the frowning, little fellas doing their little fella activities. sometimes they squabble. the thinking man’s reality tv drama

true, true, gotta love little fella activities. personally I feel better observing from a safe distance, but we had a lot of wasps around my childhood home and I didn't really know how to get friendlier than not actively making them mad lol

anonymous asked: That profile is amazing

for some reason I don't feel like I understand, but thank you!

on [sale] @milkymoon-ramblings said: gahh why do so many people have so many cool probducts, the queers are tempting me with their cool swag. however I need to save money for my own cool swag (digital art)

I just love the phrase "the queers are tempting me with their cool swag", so relatable lol (also no worries to anyone who couldn't or didn't want to buy anything, it's not like I needed it to pay bills I just wanted treats :v )

on [solstice] @jaune-chat said: Definitely, the sun can fuck right off. I break into a rash if I get too much sun, and I can't walk outside without full body coverage to some degree or be itching for WEEKS! In order of preference, is fall, winter, spring, summer.

oof yeah my mom gets a bad rash from sun exposure too! I'm fortunate to not have that specific symptom, but dang it seems so inconvenient, especially if you're also sensitive to heat so being covered up puts you at additional risk. personally I rate winter a little higher than fall but otherwise yeah total agreement lol

on [rollerskates] @nexus-nebulae said: @ prev tags i used to daydream constantly about being able to roller skate everywhere because i would constantly think 'rolling would be way easier than dragging my feet everywhere rn' and it took me two months of constantly thinking about that before i realised OH i need a ROLLATOR that would help (<- i am not smart) i haven't actually tried roller skating bc i don't own skates but i have used a skateboard briefly and that also feels better than walking. i wonder.... if the roller skating rink nearby would allow me to use a rollator in the rink with skates on........ probably not lmao

honestly it takes so much to actually realize like "oh a mobility aid might help with this" which is like, a bad thing, but we're just gonna focus on the funny part for now happy disability pride month :v and tbh I think maybe they might let you do it??? cuz like at ice skating rinks they usually have those little penguins or just straight up plastic lawn chairs for people to support themselves on, so I don't think it would be that crazy to go out on the rollarink with a rollator? but also that's just me and I do not run the place or get paid minimum wage to keep people from breaking the place sooo lol

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Yeah, but Tweek

TOLKIEN: Not to be a total dickhead or anything

TOLKIEN: But….

TOLKIEN: I'm starting to think Craig was right

TOLKIEN: And that's not something I say too often.

TWEEK: What- 

TWEEK: But-

TWEEK: You CAN'T be serious!!!

TWEEK: I'M NOT A DEMON!!

CLYDE: I dunno, your shoes are kinda raggedy…

TWEEK: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????????????

CLYDE: You built like a baked bean….

TOLKIEN: Oh god, is being chronically online a disease?

TOLKIEN: Should I contact my family and tell them I love them before I get infected?

TWEEK: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

TWEEK: I'M NOT A DEMON YOU GUYS I PROMISE

CRAIG: Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe! Like and subscribe!

CLYDE: Guys, Craigs back to normal

CLYDE: Kinda….?

CRAIG: I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment

CLYDE: Wait no

CLYDE: No no he's broken again

CRAIG: Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train Toxic gossip train

CLYDE: Tweek can you like

CLYDE: Bonk him on the head or something?

CLYDE: That worked the last time

TWEEK: I don't think I wanna touch him

CRAIG: Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife Grab the knife

TWEEK: Yeah no I definitely don't wanna touch him

TOLKIEN: Good call

TOLKIEN: I’M 95% certain cringe is contagious

TWEEK: Oh god…

TOLKIEN: Lets just ignore…. whatever's happening there

CLYDE: I'm game

CRAIG: Fuck…

CRAIG: Guys, I'm not glitching or being cringe!

CRAIG: I think, fuck

CRAIG: I think Shane Dawson is…

CRAIG: I didn't fuck my cat… shit, I've only ever groomed my two persian…

TOLKIEN: What?

CRAIG: I never put my dick… anywhere near…!

CRAIG: FUCK, GUYS GET IT OUT!!!

CRAIG: THE VOICES!!! THE VOICES ARE GROWING LOUDER!!!

TOLKIEN: What do you mean??? What voices???

CLYDE: I think the internet supercharged into his brain!

CLYDE: I think we need to get him a surgeon!!

???: Oh sorry, I was catching up on the drama

???: Old history and such

CRAIG: I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON  I AM A SURGEON

TWEEK: Stop referencing memes!! You're making it worse!!

(EDITS AND SILLIES MADE BY @pissblanket I made the I JUST DID YOUR MOTHER image tho, pookie just edited it over top <3)

[predvestnik]

Knowing your partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier.

Repost, don't reblog!

(PEN) NAME: Vênus

PRONOUNS: You can't misgender me in a way that I'll care

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: DMs always. 

NAME OF MUSE(s): Childe Tartaglia Ajax (you're here!). Kaveh over @vohunara and Neuvillette, tentatively, over @leviudicator

BEST EXPERIENCE: Having joined the RPC on Tumblr over ten years ago, honestly. I'm way more recluse now than when I started, but how stories are written on this platform is collaborative in ways no other is. It was on Tumblr where I've had the pleasure of developing storylines that were intertwined with multiple people's muses and that will never stop being a goal to experience again. Multiple muses being affected by the actions of others? Referencing in their threads for better or for worse? Chef kiss.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS: Begging is not a dealbreaker, but it's a major pet peeve. For anything: interaction, ship, meme, art, etc. It's not always easy to get traction, more often than not we have to look back to what we are providing to find the solution to our struggles — am I respectfully reaching out to other RPers? Am I engaging with the community? Am I putting out content that makes sense for other people to add to? So on and so forth.

Littlest most inconsequential thing, mostly because I don't understand at all: seeing "not affiliated with the Genshin fandom" everywhere. What in hell is that supposed to even mean? We're in the RPC, which is a subsection of the fandom. It tells me nothing.

MUSE PREFERENCES: I have a history of thriving with muses who are part of the antagonist force in their source material, from the most extroverted types to the stoic ones. I like conflict and opposition, even when (specially, I'd go so far as to say) my muse is the one who's wrong.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I prefer plots but my routine only gives me enough resources to engage with memes, mostly. Plotting with me nowadays kind of require OOC closeness due to the immensurable patience we will need.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Night time. Alas, eepy. </3

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): I don't think so. There are elements I inject into my portrayals that relate back to me as a natural consequence of interpreting a character, but I see close to nothing of myself in their canon. c: If anything, I'd say Neuvillette is the one I think comes the closest and, ironically enough, is the most challenging muse I have currently.

tagged by: @ccaptain Because of COURSE. <3 tagging: This bloodline ends with me (jk, take it!)

[anti-kin-cringe]

This is not intended to start arguments of any kind. I am merely expression my personal frustration.

I'm glad everyone is having a good time with this "catgirl hacks the TSA" thing. You do realize therianthropy will never be taken seriously now, and any progress we've made toward making otherkinity "acceptable" to the human public is obliterated. Therianthropy will forever be a meme or a joke because of this. Hell, one of the most popular posts about this calls otherkin furries and a lot of non-kin people were already confused about the difference. This is damage that can't be undone.

I'm just tired of my identity, the core of who I am, being treated like a quirky joke, and this did not help. I don't see how so many of us seem to be okay with this.

Anon, I think you need to stop. Look in a mirror and say this out loud. Realize how fundamentally fucking ridiculous and selfish you sound.

You are blaming a single cat therian for having gone and done what is fundamentally an incredibly important deed for revealing flaws and inherent bigotry in how the United States approaches anti-terrorism tactics in flights post-9/11, and for being publicly a therian while having done it. Are you holding all therians to this same standard, I wonder? Is any therian who is publicly alterhuman and does something to gain positive renown Problem Therian #1 to you? Should we all just hide our animality in our lives outside of Tumblr for your comfort and security? If we ever do something good, do we automatically neeed to start dedicating serious resources to being a Good Therian Role-modelTM?

If you feel that therianthropy is being misunderstood en masse, how about you get off your lazy tail and actually do something to assist the problem that you're so confidently whining about? You can spend the energy here telling us how much therianthropy will "never be taken seriously now," and you're bemoaning human acceptance. You're sitting here complaining about Maia, but what have you done in recent memory about this? You're desperately wanting for human respect here, but I don't exactly see you flaunting your resume of times you've rolled over, showed your belly, and played the part of a respectability politics beg. I don't see you making websites, creating videos, writing essays, or anything else, either. You've got energy to send us this ask, but not to show your face behind it or say the things that you've done yourself to actually help this issue that you boldly claim that Maia has created. That's some tucked tail. Show up or shut up, as the kids say.

Also, I hate to break it to you, but there's been a well-known, popularly referenced meme specifically mocking otherkin and therians since 2013. A meme that was specifically fabricated from a documentary on nonhuman identities with the intent to mock them, if what interviews say are true. If Naia Okami's "On All Levels Except Physical, I Am A Wolf" meme didn't tank the community even after her doing alterhuman-focused interviews that referenced it for almost ten years after the fact, I think we'll be fine with this. Hell, what we're talking about here isn't even negative attention, and it's not even attention directly focused on us as a community, it's just adjacent! Maybe I have a thicker pelt than you, but this is seriously nothing comparatively to some of the things that have happened and been connected to the therian community in the past.

Anon, I don't know why on Earth you thought sending this in wouldn't spur an argument considering what you're saying is frankly insulting on multiple levels: to anyone who's actually done groundwork in the therian community, to plenty of us who were there during periods of time where media was being connected to the community in actually harmful and negligent ways (Wolfie Blackheart, Naia, etc.), to people who are openly a therian online and in their day-to-day life but don't make it a priority to try and be the therian's therian or anything ridiculous like that, to anyone who is "okay with this" as you put it. You're claiming that a therian who's done a genuinely good deed has wronged the community by virtue of her just being a public therian. How do you not realize the plethora of shitty implications in what you're saying here?

~ Mod Halcyon

[mostly-delusional]

I tried posting this shit like 3 fucking times but tumblr just won't go through with it so i had to make a whole ass separate post sorry 😭 this is in continuation to this post (for those who have no clue what I'm talking about) @abla-soso

yes, as it so happens, i am considerably new to the fandom. which is probably why i haven't seen the side of it you're referring to. and yet i still stand by my initial point of not throwing around words at random. you can't go around calling anyone a misogynist just because the fandom overall is shitty. you can't go around calling me a misogynist even tho I haven't ever participated in any of the stuff you mentioned above (idk why the fuck do i have to defend myself lmao but apparently i do).

the post this all started with was simply a meme referencing a scene from the latest episode. there are a thousand ways you could've taken it instead of straight up assuming I'm a raging women-hater lol. and then you mentioned another one of my posts where I called her misinterpretation a foolish mistake, again assuming the same thing.

"if the king's words are law [...] then Alicent would have been obligated to respect the king's dying words".

are you fr rn? 😭 "blaming a woman for what men did?" did you not read what i wrote? or maybe you just couldn't be bothered to understand? or maybe you would rather pick and choose and come to conclusions based on whatever conveniently furthers your own rigid opinion of me? not once did i throw all blame on alicent's shoulders. not once did i say she was the only one responsible for the events that went down. what i did say was that she was complicit in the act (which, according to the dictionary, does not equal to me saying she is the only one to blame).

"Otto is the fucking snake who schemed for decades to usurp the throne (the prophecy is fucking irrelevant to his plans). Viserys is the fucking dumb bitch who never undermined his daughter's claim by having legitimate sons and not bothering to codify her claim through a binding legalised law (giving any lord the legal justification to dismiss Rhaenyra's claim). Amond was the irresponsible brat who charged at Rhaenyra's brat and killed (being the actual one who kick started the violence)."

bro where did i excuse or defend any of the men you mentioned above? otto is a piece of shit and i won't bother talking about him (will agree with you about him being the mastermind of the entire usurping and the one behind all of alicent's suffering).

i multiple times agreed with you about viserys being a shitty father/husband and you still somehow think I'm defending him. so I'll state it here again to appease you: viserys was a shitty father to every single one of his children. he sidelined his own fucking daughter because all he wanted was a son. which led to his wife losing five of her children: one dead in the cradle, two stillbirths, two miscarriages. aemma was forced to have children over and over again despite everything she went through as a result of those pregnancies. and that bitch of a man killed his wife (there's no other way I'm going to interpret that scene), had her cut open just so he could have the son he always wanted (even tho aemma kept insisting she was scared and she wanted them to just fucking stop). he only named rhaenyra heir because daemon was too rash and impulsive for the task and there was no other better option. he considered marrying a literal fucking child only to turn around and marry a slightly older child. alicent was manipulated and disgustingly pushed into a marriage (by her greedy dick of a father) with a man who was decades older than her (not saying viserys was resistant to the marriage before you go ahead and call me shit for that too). she was maritally raped, forced to have children when she herself was a child. then comes aegon. viserys had the son he always wanted. and although he had already named rhaenyra his heir, he should have been there for his children. he should've played a role in their upbringing. instead he was— like you mentioned earlier— a deadbeat father. he couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the things happening right under his nose. he couldn't be bothered to acknowledge and do something about the resentment festering between rhaenyra, alicent, and their children. he was downright horrendous for a lot of shit that he did. nobody is fucking defending that. i'm not defending that.

you're right about aemond and I'll agree with you on that. him killing luke was one of the major reasons behind the dance and why everything went down to shit so quick.

i had no fucking idea that if i don't explicitly mention how i hate every man in the show and say that they were a piece of shit every time i talk about alicent, I'll be labelled all kinds of stuff. but there you go. does that make you feel better?

i said all that and i will still stand by the fact that alicent was complicit in the entire plan. she was a part of it. most of what i said was centred around alicent because that's who my original post was about and that's who we were talking about.

and i knew you'd make the "she was protecting her children argument". to that I would say: so was rhaenyra. alicent never left an opportunity to call rhaenyra's children bastards. she instilled hatred for luke and jace in her son's minds for years. to the point where aemond almost bashed one of their heads in, leading him (aemond) to lose an eye. yeah, she was protecting her children when she let aegon bully aemond to no end, so long as it didn't happen within public eye. yeah, she was protecting her children by completely ignoring her rapist of a son (I'm sure you have some kind of explanation for that too). she was being protective of her children when she spread rumours about the legitimacy of rhaenyra's children. it was only out of protectiveness over her children that she shamed and ridiculed rhaenyra for years. it couldn't have possibly been anything else. sure. (I'm never going to be convinced her attitude towards rhaenyra was solely a result of her fear for her children).

"her snake of a father convinced her they'll be killed for merely existing as potential rivals to Rhaenyra's claim"

that was the same argument used by the greens as an explanation for why rhaenyra and her children had to die. since they so graciously placed aegon's ass on the throne, it was only reasonable to kill rhaenyra and all her children because they were the biggest contenders for the throne and had a rightful claim to it. right. this was the same argument alicent used to ingrain resentment towards jace and luke in her son's mind.

and yes, she is also responsible for starting the war (as most of the characters are, in one way or another). because— might come as a shock to you— alicent went along with everything her family was planning. she is not as innocent as you want her to be but that's not a conversation you're willing to have (again, because apparantly everything has to be explicitly stated, I'm not saying she's the only one who's ever done anything wrong in her life. every single character on the show has done some or other awful shit. neither side is completely innocent. but alicent is the one I'm particularly talking about in this post). you're so adamant about alicent being oh so innocent and saintly that you're taking away all kinds of nuance, complexity, and moral ambiguity from her and turning her into some kind of mary sue with absolutely no fucking agency. because— "this might blow your mind"— but having trauma doesn't absolve someone from being wrong or making mistakes or facing the consequences of their own conscious fucking actions. there's only so much about someone that you can excuse using their past suffering. there has to come a point where a character needs to be held accountable for their actions and choices instead of justifying all of it in the name of trauma. but that's clearly not something you're ready to talk about.

I'm sure you'll still manage to pick something up from what i said and turn around and say "look!! misogyny!! you're a disgusting piece of shit!!" because apparently saying anything negative about a female character is a heinous crime. female characters aren't supposed to be morally corrupt. they aren't supposed to be wrong. they are only two dimensional. they can't have depth. they're all fucking mary sues.

this is the last time I'm adding anything to this argument conversation because we'll start going around in circles after a certain point and the whole thing will be pointless. so whatever opinion you hold of me after reading all of it is going to be your problem.

(also,,, I'm sorry if my tone offended you, i wasn't trying to be condescending or anything, i was just too goddamn pissed when i wrote this. have a good day <33)

[gayofthefae]

Hey! I love reading all your byler posts (I'm also exposed to Buddie/Chenford stuff through you and am fully confident in them despite never having watched the show(s?))

I was thinking about something in a recent post you made about innocent vs mature relationships:

"In season 2, Mike was in a sort of caretaking and protective role over Will. This isn't a bad thing but it also isn't exactly equal. With that, in the story itself, Will didn't see enough of Mike's flaws."

And, this wasn't really the point of your post, but it made me wonder what your thoughts were on the dynamic between Will and Mike where people see Mike in more of a protective role. Like idk d'you think that is an unequal thing of the past (s2) and their dynamic is no longer like that - and maybe people romanticised the caretaker role Mike assumed because it's proof that he cares for Will? Or dyou think their dynamic is still like that as a byproduct of the fact that Will is still affected by the Upside Down far more than Mike? Or do you think it's just their personalities and their relationship would still be like that if none of the supernatural shit ever happened?

Idk your comment just really made me think because I'd never ever considered that Mike's caretaker role in s2 made their relationship slightly unbalanced on Will's part, that it was something that needed leveling or 'maturing'. Maybe just cause ppl look at it through a rose-tinted lens, and it's ingrained as the sweetest testament of Mike's devotion.

Anyway I'd love to know what you think!

Hi! (tldr at the bottom if you like)

I can answer most accurately to my live perceptions at the time of watching each season. One of the reasons I actually didn't see the romance the first time around on season 2 was because I felt it was equal, of course, that is also in large part due to us having yet to see Will's POV on their relationship. Similarly, I actually didn't see Mike and El as romantic in season 1 and was surprised when they kissed for the same reason.

In season 2 with Mike and El, we saw more of El's perspective of their relationship so I got more on board. Same thing happened for me with Joyce's perspective on Jopp3r in season 4 where I was pretty indifferent on them before, so as a nerd, I have to acknowledge where those POVs come into play, not just behavior.

With that, I think their behavior has stayed much the same but they are no longer inequal because of the camerawork etc but like I said in the post you're referencing, also because of that fight that prompts the song in Will's playlist about coming down out of the clouds from idolizing someone.

I think their dynamic of protective still exists just in their personal inclinations but now outside of the power dynamic, which was more about idolizing each other. That was broken when they first fought because in Will calling him out, it built the trust required for future complicated situations that Will won't just fold even when he's in the right and will call him out. Though the roller rink fight sucks, I don't think it would have happened without establishing that. Mike was gentle leading up to their rain fight until he allowed himself to get defensive after Will allowed himself to get offensive, but not before then. And in the rink o mania fight, Mike initiates that time. And a lot of it was poorly communicated and impulsive, but I don't think he would have picked a fight if he still didn't think Mike would call him out and fight back. In the same way that he stops as soon as he sees Will stop defending himself.

And with the protectiveness, there's a change in it too in some ways. Because Mike's seen Will fight back now and knows he can and will, it's more like that one meme comparing them to the same thing with Lucas and Max: Lucas and Mike both know Max and Will can protect themselves but are protective of them anyways, simply because they don't want them to have to. That's their personal inclinations.

And I don't know if it's true about the characters 100% of course, I just remember not seeing it when I watched season 2 BECAUSE I felt like Mike was caring for Will and I as a viewer

I felt that shift that Mike semi-described himself that he hasn't had with El, from need to want. Will doesn't need him to protect him and he's independent enough from him that if he's mad, he will leave. Mike knows that now, maybe he believed it before, but a situation to confirm had just never arisen. Now, because Will has left, it shows him that Will coming back and staying is a choice and that he can fend for himself, so he protects him because he wants to since he trusts that Will would be okay without him. Love is choices, as I always say, and if you know someone can call you out on your bullshit an walk away, you feel no obligation to stay. And yet you do.

I hope that answered your question on my thoughts!

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

In response to 732269791257198592

I get it and I'm sympathetic, and maybe bc at the time of seeing this I'm going through something that could be similar or adjacently similar, but as the other side of the coin here's my perspective.

You say you used to talk about your muses a lot and write a lot...but either not too much that your interactions remained solely on tumblr. Which is valid. Keeping hobbies organized is perfectly fine. But a friendship is a two way street that needs to be maintained on both sides to be healthy. I don't know how long you vanished from their lives, but ironically you feel like a ghost...cos ya kinda ghosted your friends. Even if you can rp like before, if you really valued people as friends you'd pop in, maybe not every day but every couple of days to send in hellos or memes. Anything to not be a random thought on a random day of 'did our friendship end that day cos they moved on or did they die?' kinda limbo.

I'm being kinda harsh right now, yeah and I'm sorry if I am. I am projecting. I wrote stuff from slice of life stuff to some of the darkest dd;dne that almost kinda trauma bonds two people, we've texted and sent gifts and I've even traveled to meet them. Things were so great...only for them to just...stop. Bc of irl reasons, and I knew the reasons so I understood. I didn't push. I sent them stuff to make sure they felt remembered and liked and loved...but if I didn't send something first, we'd never talk.

RP friendships on tumblr are vastly different. Everyone's lives are majorly different. Depending how much effort you put in remaining in some sort of communication with others while you were away for however long will be the consequence of how difficult it is to return.

And take this with a grain of a very large salt. I'm the other side of the coin that's been left behind and they return after months of radio silence expecting to be my priority. And they used to be...thrice already...but I'm honestly tired and have become highly selective of that fandom we used to write in...they've come back again and I've commented on their posts, send them asks for their character to answer but I can't really bring myself to write with them anymore because...I don't know when I'll be left again.

Referencing this post.

~ Mod MJ ~

[themuffinman-taylorsversion]

debut tracks 1-5 review

TIM MCGRAW

as I was listening this time and really thinking about it, this song is so "rainy cloudy morning in a field of flowers near the lake". the music video really captured this, imo. also, is the letter real? if so, I would LOVE to read it.

I wonder what song she was referencing. and I do indeed think of Taylor when I think tim mcgraw.

as for the song itself, it feels like nostalgia. I think this is kind of a common theme on debut. I don't think it's really anything special.

score: 6/10

points for style, chorus, verses, instrumentals, vocals, pretty privilege

favorite lyric: he said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night, I said "that's a lie"

PICTURE TO BURN

so many childhood memories of this song!! and you know what? it's still AMAZING

i wouldn't say the lyrics are superb in the traditional way, but they've got their own charm and I am HERE for it. this song also reminds me of the color orange (probably because fire) and it is the epitome of singing vengefully in a car

I also love the rage in her voice. and the pettiness in "there's nothing stopping me from going out with all o' your best friands" (I know it's spelled wrong but that's how she says it and this is my post soo)

(side note: my cat will NOT stop climbing on my keyboard. ughhhhh why)

score: 6/10

points for style, personal bias, chorus, verses, instrumentals, and vocals

favorite lyric: STUPID OLD pickup truck you never let me drive

TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR

this song is also so nostalgic for me. and she sounds really nice on this song. she also writes so eloquently about a high school crush. like, debut is by no means her best work (lyrically) but wow does she still write very well.

I also think it's pretty funny that the cover for the holiday ep is from the tdomg music video (which is GORGEOUS, by the way)

and she really called drew out by name lol

score: 6/10

points for style, personal bias, chorus, instrumentals, vocals, pretty privilege

favorite lyric: he's the time taken up but there's never enough

A PLACE IN THIS WORLD

this one HITS for me and I honestly don't understand some of the hate it gets. her voice sounds a little shaky and stuff, but that's just debut for you.

anyways, I associate this one with I hate it here from ttpd. don't know why.

the lyric I feel really resonates me is "i'll be wrong, but life goes on". I really need to remember that sometimes.

also, wouldn't it be funny if this was the origin for those annoying "im literally just a girl" memes?

score: 4/10

points for style, personal bias, chorus, and instrumentals

fav lyric: I'll be strong, i'll be wrong. oh but life goes on

COLD AS YOU

i LOVE this one. Taylor at age 14-16 is really writing better than I do currently (speaking of which, you should go read my book on Wattpad called sockpuppet)

with the self promo out of the way (I'm sorry about that) I can go back to the song.

i associate this one closely with the outside, in that I used to get them mixed up A LOT. "you put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey" reminds me of dear john. like a lot. and, in turn, coney island

also, the lyric "but you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you" relates to peace "all these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret" and I think that shows a lot of character growth.

on a completely different note, tayor sounds SO country on this song. she was really letting that twang out and if I don't hear that on the rerecording I might cry

she also sounds so upset and I love that in a song

score: 7/10

points for lyrics, style, personal bias, chorus, verses, instrumentals, vocals

fav lyric: "so you come away with a great little story//of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you" OR "so I start a fight cause I need to feel something//and you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted" OR "no use defending words that you will never say"

[just-alish]

MR14.2024 - How I revived the way I see English and Why I suck at life.

That one's a pretty long read, go ahead and pop in a tune while you're at it, yeah? - 1997 by Småland.

Despite considering myself a sloppy son of a bitch, soon to suffer the wrath of capitalism induced hunger, for the longest time I had this skill of mine that spiked among the others and kept me sane - my English. Here, down in Central Asia it is saddeningly common for people not to know basic English. That is what I think made me stand out in school and is what even now helps me out in uni.

And I’m not saying that I ever was a boy genius. God forbid. In my book, lil’ me just so happened to take interest in the World Wide Web, in which English spoken content was like a treasure trove, levels more appealing in contrast with the grey Russian media of the time. I can thank my iCarly obsessed sisters for introducing me to the concept of filming something and sharing it to strangers online.

It always seemed logical that content made in English is, by rule, superior in quality than the local counterparts. And for some reason, it just seemed like the niche that was there for me to explore. An ever-spreading ocean of sparkling online knowledge, unavailable to the ones around me, for the lack of interest in breaking and overcoming the language barrier, which in reality, is far simpler than it seems.

That is what I consider to be the icky, tricky side of committing yourself to a language most people around you don’t know - you may often make yourself way too alien for many to relate to.

I like to think that English is what shaped me and made my social circle full of interesting people. There was a neat period of my life, when it was lovely to spread the good word of the western media by sharing memes, films, and videos with classmates of mine who listened and liked the stuff I showed.

But, that is also what trapped me in the aforementioned circle.

In order to max out my English, I had to sacrifice my Kazakh, which sort of ruined my social life and has been actively affecting my grades since elementary school. I suppose I simply never noticed how I gradually have made myself more and more distant, enough for my peers to seemingly have a culture different to mine.

I struggled with connecting with new people, and having casual conversations with both close and new friends began growing more challenging, for the simple fact that they were not as terminally online as I am, therefore having their sense of humor not as influenced by brainrot content as mine is. I frequently stumbled over a convoluted idiom, which understandingly made no sense to their ears, referenced memes they never even heard of. The general incompatibility of interests did not make things better for sure.

So, I unconsciously made it my mission to localise my speech, which I believe only made things worse for me. Trying to understand English in order to dumb it down has only killed my passion for it. By speaking “clearly” I lost contact with a funny little British voice in my head that filled my routine with time for silly voice-acting and… kept me alive. As a guy who’s self-image heavily relies on his tool he uses to connect with his world, It felt crushing to seemingly realize my English skills were dull and deteriorating.

It stopped me from further practicing, because I repel stress like a bitch, opting for escapism and ignorance instead. The same escapism that made me the pathetic man I am today.

I am ending this post with a cliffhanger by letting you know that my “mother tongue” is kindly coming to bite me in the ass if I won’t put in the effort to learn it and will probably negatively hit my grades, risking my summer scholarship alongside my chances for a good future.

It’s all no fun. Sucks to be me. My heart aches. My chest sinks and I feel like eating rocks.

[rin-and-jade]

hey I'm from the same system as 🌺, and I wanna add some stuff because unlike her I'm not blind to the abuse.

we are homeschooled so when the verbal abuse happened there wasn't anywhere else to escape to, I remember I used to literally hide behind things when I was younger.

I didn't learn to read until I was 10, and I'm dyslexic and autistic and dyspraxic and dyscalculic. so I absolutely suffered in academics for basically my whole life, my mother used to sit down with me and watch me stare at the work in front of my face and then yell at me because I didn't do it. or I messed up, or any slew of things fuck.

I was undiagnosed for autism for literally most of my life, I only got diagnosed when I was 13-14. so for a long long part of my childhood I was berated, yelled at, given the silent treatment, not comforted when I needed it and other stuff.

this is definitely because of her upbringing, and generational trauma. she's better now, but the damage has been done. and if I ever tried to bring this shit up now she'd just call me a liar, she loves to call me a liar.

after I learned how to read, I basically had to learn how to spell and write myself. I preferred it that way, because every time she try's to teach me stuff it always ended with me crying and her yelling.

oh I didn't even mention all the "talks" she has given me, basically telling me to "shape up, you're not doing anything with your life." when I have no freedoms? the digiverse is my only freedom, has been since I was a kid. I try to talk to her about my interests and she waves me away, though its gotten better. I still am not sure about her claims.

I literally can't go out by myself, I'm 17. I'm literally going to be 18 in a couple months and I've to this day never been on a trip somewhere on my own, I know I'm a bit oblivious at times. but I've always wanted that in my life.

maybe I'll get it now when I go to Tafe in person, and meet people. god I fucking hope.

I went through a lot of medical trauma from being hospitalised as a 6 month old because hot tea spilled on me, to asthma hospitalisations and more.

all under the age of 10 mind you, I've always been the "problem" child. mostly because of all my medical issues, and developmental issues. my addiction to YouTube, and screens in general. is it an addiction when it's literally the only thing that stops me from bursting into tears?

I didn't have friends for most of my life, and the ones I did. I only saw them at most once a week, most of the time it was once or twice a month until they grew tired of me.

I've had nice things, but all I really wanted was someone to listen to me. I used to literally wish everyday for most of my life, its only stopped now because I have AN ACTUAL FRIEND. and I'd kill everyone and then myself for him literally. (I'm referencing a meme)

but I was lonely most of my life, I love my siblings but its just not the same. I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings because they'd just tell mother.

once I had a friend group on this game, Cat game (that's literally what they are called.) and I was happy. a bit stressed because of drama, but it was nice to have someone who listened and cared.

I'm tempted to go back, but I just can't risk it. my family thought they were groomers, those people were more likely to be groomed then be groomers. I'm not dumb, I still feel bad for my abrupt departure.

but at least they know I loved them dearly, if like I mentioned any of my moots. or the fact I talk so outwardly on the internet they'd ban me actually ban me forever. and I can't let go of my one healthy coping mechanism.

I don't think I could ever tell them shit about my mental state, especially after the shit show that was lena trying to get us actual help. I still want to go to therapy and a psychiatrist, but I'm worried I'm just going to be abused verbally and emotionally more.

and right now, it's way less.

if they knew I considered myself trans, or supported nonbinary people or just most of the different gender identities. they'd tell me I'm wrong and they would have seen it, or that nonbinary people are doing it for attention.

why the fuck would I do any of this shit for that? I want your unconditional love, and support for my struggles. not that fake bullshit!

I have problems and I just want to help them, and nothing I do is good enough. I'm this disappointment half the time.

there was this one time. (maybe more) when my little brother was having a meltdown, and screaming. my mother's blood was boiling honestly, and she was yelling at him to "SHUT UP" "STOP CRYING FOR FUCKS SAKE" and such. she threatened to pull over and leave him on the road, a common threat of her's. and when his screams and cries got louder, she pulled over into this parks parking. and told him either he was to "SHUT UP, OR GET OUT." he didn't and he got out of the car, or was taken. either way he was outside of the car, I was crying and telling my mother to "STOP" and let him back in, I was 7-8 when this happened. and he must have been 3-4, and my little brother was crying and crying. and my mother had enough of the insubordination, and started to drive away. I started screaming then to go back for my brother, *I'm not sure which one it was, but it was one of them. and she kept driving, and driving.

I think she circled the block twice before letting my brother back in, but that was traumatic.

this sorta thing was why when I had my first suidal thought it was to open the car door and fall out, because I couldn't TAKE the verbal abuse that happened in the car.

I had depression I think, I had depression for most of my childhood.

but now, I feel happier. not because of anything that's happened in the real life, but the comfort I got from here. the internet.

there's many many more times I could talk about but I'm tired, I'll tell you more later.

but she's not good, I don't know if she's ever realised. but I just cannot be mad.

from me

Pop

That sure was a long story, read it word by word, i definitely relate to the bad treatment and threats i also got from my own mother. Kind of glad you’re still here and had got better, i witnessed a kid being pulled outside the car and even punched.. not lovely.

Anyway, i care to listen in what you have to say next time, i consider myself a great listener if anyone needs to vent too and whatnot,, and come back next time bro.

- j

[dalishthunder]

I'M BACK I'M NOT DEAD. Life's been hella busy and it will be again by the end of the week but I'm taking this little break and typing this while I can lol

As usual, amazing characterization, I'm deeply enjoying ramattra's inner monologue. He's still got these conflicting moments of not particularly caring for human habits/nature (like sleep. ignore that he seriously needs some more metaphorical rest himself) and at the same time appreciating reader's trust to share these moments with him. Also he was laser focused to have counted how many minutes until they stopped snoring lmao I loooove when 'noticing the small details' is taken to this extreme, there's something very endearing about it

Also

“Ramattra?” Your voice was hoarse as you sat up, sucking in air through your teeth and wincing.

“By your side.” He let his orb fall into his hand.

aAAAAAAAAAAAA (read: if i could word things a bit more smartly I'd say besides being heart-achingly sweet this perfectly captures his voice and the DOUBLE MEANING)

Okay now my favorite part of the chapter which is also the fic title THE GAME OF GO, I LITERALLY HAD THE BIGGEST GRIN WHEN I GOT TO THAT PART BC I HAD A FEELING I KNEW WHERE THAT WAS GOING AND IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT I IMAGINED

They let him go first? Okay. They placed the tile right next to his? Okayyy. They kept the board just for him?? Okay Okay. ACTUALLY WINNING?? BEATING HIS ASS AT GO THEN TELLING HIM YOU'RE STICKING TO HIS SIDE NO MATTER WHAT?? *insert that soyjack pointing meme* SYMBOLISM!!! TITLE REFERENCE!!!

This was a great cascade of events and also my favorite part about their dynamic (and how the fic is written), there's always two conversations happening at the same time with them; one with words and one without. And they both seem to see the two happening and it's so delicious

Three last things to note...

1. Ramattra holding back on his fantasies bc that's just silly it's never happening then the second reader goes "I'm staying btw" he immediately stops resisting LMAO

2. Zenyatta keeps getting referenced so I wonder if that's leading up to anything...

3. “… Please don’t ask me to shoot anyone though.” “We shall see.” THAT'S. THAT'S NOT A NO. RAMATTRA THAT'S NOT A NO.

I am so so excited to see what happens next bc reader will be probs directly involved w the decision making now, or at least come in as another factor and Ramattra's not gonna be happy with all of it...

- smile anon but you've probably already guessed hehe

Smile Anon I need you to know how much joy you bring me, sorry your life has been so busy, I definitely understand though (my job sent me on a business trip this week the week before Christmas! My bro has come to visit for the holidays and I miss out on a little bit of that)

I've read this at least 10 times like ... Hhhhhh you're so sweet thank you!

Yes! I have been doing my best to stay true to his voice and character, though I caught a few mistakes in earlier chapters that I went back and corrected bc I'm neurotic lol

I love this omnic so much it's insane, I'm so glad you enjoyed the game of go!!!!

And I love writing conversations where the words aren't the only focus because communication is more than just language

And yeah, it definitely was not a no 😏