#I am just another human being who is learning and growing every day <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pierswife]

God once again it feels so freeing to just have my small little corner for selfship aside from my main like... Idk but it's helped my mental so much keeping everything separate

[evmrellie]

Labyrinth | s.r x gn!reader

summary: You're scared about your feelings for Spencer. Insp by labyrinth from Taylor Swift.

genre: fluffly and hurt/comfort. pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader (I'm a girl so I wrote going on this way, but I think I didn't gave any descriptions abt being one, so it's totally safe for gn!readers <333 if I did, I'm sorry, I didn't notice.) words: 1,3K warnings: family issues, inexperienced!reader, reader never being in a relationship before, insecurity, anxiety, mention of toxic relationships (not between reader and anyone else) notes: hiii, this is my first oneshot so plss be nice 😭✋🏻 im not used to write like this, but I'm so obsessed with Spencer and I had this idea and I couldn't just let go. English it's not my first language, so forgive me if any mistakes or if u guys don't understand smth. not proofread. hope you guys like it !! <3

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

You've never trusted relationships, not that you had experienced any, but what you saw growing up? What you were used to? Didn't make you want to get into one in the first place.

You never denied that you've dreamed about that; finding a true love and a nice, healthy relationship since you saw all your friends living it. That hurted you a little, but you learned how to live with it.

Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You tried to catch your breath, adjusting it as much as possible. You were used to unlearn the ability of breathing when you were around people who made you nervous, especially if you had a slightly crush on them. Actually, you unlearn every normal thing that humans do when they interact, it's like a part of your brain stops working and refused to turn it on again. He loved to make you embarrassed, especially in front of pretty nerd ish boys.

The first time you met Spencer it consumed all of your brain chemistry. Day and night making fantasies of how it would be meeting the boy again with the help of destiny, falling in love and maybe being obsessed with you the same way you were with him. But you knew that it was just a fantasy and it would never happen, it was just your brain trying to distract you from the real world and your real problems.

It was a nice escape though.

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Everything happened so fast in your time vision, it terrified you of how easy he was able to get through it. You were always scared of relationships because, yeah, it was nice and easy to fantasy about it, but to actually live it? That scared the shit out of you. All your Inexperience, insecurities and traumas couldn't be fixed from one day to another.

Everything that you learned from your parents was that if you dived in too quickly, it would be a mistake. Not only from your parents, but also from people you were close to, seeing their relationship rise too fast and going effortlessly and awfully down.

You never understood why they keept doing it, sinking into the same situation over and over again, sometimes with the same or a different guy. How they kept being pulled and compelled by it? You didn't understand because you never felt it.

It was so scary how relationships could rise so fast and sink at the same speed.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

You understood why they kept like that in the worst — best— way possible.

When it first hit you that you were falling in love with Spencer felt like a harsh slap in your face, leaving red bruises and a terrible burning in. You didn't want to accept it, it was frightening to actually let it in.

Was getting hard with the passing time, he wasn't getting any easier and neither were his loving and caring acts. I mean, how could someone like him be so.. careful with you? You felt like a broken piece who would never be loved and receive this kinda of treatment, it was starting to confuse you.

You knew he wasn't the type of person who liked being touched or touching other ones, but with you? Every possibility of being close to you, hugging you, touching your hand and giving a sweet cuddle in that same spot was driving you insane. He made sure that any free time he had, he spent with you. Or even at work, in his free time that he used to call you.

Reid talked to you about his mom and his abandonment issues with his father so openly that made you open yourself with him too. You didn't want to scare him telling him about your family situation or make him think you're a weird, problematic person, but you couldn't let him vent to you and not say a thing. He hasn't change with you. In fact, it only bought you both closer.

You ended up accepting what you felt for him, you didn't want to fight against it, deep down was a comfort feeling. For the first time you felt what everyone around you always talked about. And oh god, it really was an amazing feeling. But no, you would never tell him that. The thought of how this could end so fast after telling him that because probably it wasn't reciprocal, hurted you so bad that keeping it to yourself was the best decision you could make.

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice called you off of your own thoughts, his Cheshire Cat smile growing as he saw your face turning into a shade of burgundy.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Like a deer lost in the headlights.” He snorted a laugh.

“What?! I'm not-“

He interrupted you, getting up from the chair where he was lost doing his usual puzzles. Spencer walked over to you, resting one of his hands on your face while the other one brushed away a few strands of hair that fell into your eyes. You automatically snuggled your face between Spencer's hands, smirking and closing your eyes, enjoying the gentle caress his fingers made on your cheeks.

“Tell me, please.” He begged you, you could easily hear the smile into his words. He was always so polite, it made you want to scream into a pillow and kick your feets in the air.

You sighed, tired to hide how you felt.

“Honestly? About you. I think I already fell for you.”

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

You were scared of his reaction, to look at him and see his eyes falling in pity for you; About him suddenly telling you to go home because he didn't felt the same and saying that this wouldn't work between you two. But to be honest, you couldn't hide anymore, not for him and not for yourself. You needed to break free from this labyrinth you created on your mind, there's no way you could keep up with this and stay cool like it didn't made your chest burn everytime you looked at him.

He surprised you by just laughing softly.

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

“Well, i’m pretty sure i am terriefiedly in love with you.”

You swore that if this was a joke you would combust and turn into a million pieces of yourself, no one would ever find you again.

Your eyes caught up at his sparkling hazel irises that conveyed how much he begged for the same answer. You always felt something carving like a dagger inside your chest when he looked at you like that, like you could break him with any wrong do.

It was absolutely terrifying how easy he broke you to this, to this situation where you could never lie and deny that you felt the exactly same for him. You were head over heels for him. Not in a million of worlds you could imagine that Spencer Reid felt the same thing you did for him, but you were also pretty sure that you were the one who would end up with the heart completely shattered if this ever come to an end.

“I love you so much, Spence.” You said, and then his lips parted open and you were able to feel his sweet taste coming into yours.

[prettieinpink]

IMPROVING YOUR LIFE ASPECTS: THE LITTLE HABITS

Hello girlies and genitals, I am aware that my posts haven’t been up to my standard lately but thank you so much for 220+ followers. I’m so grateful for each and every one of you to be apart of this blog and I wish for us to grow into the best versions of ourselves.

Today, I have something special to celebrate: a collaboration with everyone’s favourite, honey! ( @honeytonedhottie )Thank you honey for this idea of a collab, which has been so fun talking and it’s been a pleasure working with you, I hope we do another one in the future. If you haven’t already, go and follow honey(the best decision trust)!

her part of this collab is here ! go read it and follow her yall

GENERAL

habits that are uncategorised or improve multiple aspects of your life <3

Prioritising yourself. Put yourself over anyone else, even if it effects them. I know it’s harsh, but put on your oxygen mask before helping others.

Establishing routines in your daily life. Morning, evening, study, workout etc, we humans thrive on routines.

Start implementing small things to look forward to during the day. Whether it’s drinking a hot beverage before bed, or going out on a walk in the sun, just having these things makes it easier for us to get through the day.

Curate your social media, ensure what you are feeding your mind is nourishing it, not destroying it. + avoid any mental clutter from your feed

Saying positive affirmations to yourself before the day! It’s an nice way to pump yourself up.

Set boundaries. Not only with others, but yourself. Don’t allow yourself to sleep late constantly or have over 8 hours of screen time.

Learn how to say no. Saying no is now considered a powerful tool for someone to have because we then allow the things we do want to come in our lives and guard ourselves from things we don’t want in our lives.

Setting one daily goal! It doesn’t have to be a difficult or challenging one, but preferably something you feel uncomfortable about doing.

EDUCATION

Being educated is the most powerful asset nowadays, besides, learning is the best beauty regimen!

Reading a few news articles a day, being updated with the latest news in your country and community is a great advantage in general and a way to stimulate your mind

Reading paperback/hard copy books is another great way to stimulate your mind without scrolling endlessly. You learn new experiences and ideas, and gain more empathy for others.

Learning another language! This is extremely useful because when we learn it, we stimulate another part of our brain that is usually inactive + a great thing to put on resumes or applications.

Having high quality sleep actually helps with long term memory and sustaining everything you’ve learnt in the day. 6-8 hours in an ideal number of sleep.

Taking regular breaks which are productive,this is so important for sustaining your motivation and avoiding burnout. E.g going out for a walk, meditation, Journalling

Spending a few hours a day without relying on electronic devices. Social media and more will put so much mental clutter in your head, being away from it allows for mental clarity.

Doing focus meditations before doing any deep work. This allows you to stay on task for much longer and rids of any mental clutter.

Talking to others who have more expertise than you and listening, but you do not have to agree with them, it’s just valuable to have another person’s perspective and experience.

Challenge yourself daily and start being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Research about topics you dislike, do things you struggle at at least once a week.

PERSONALITY

Being charming, but still being down to earth to yourself while maintaining good relationships with others allows for happiness + harmony within you.

Sharpen up your vocabulary and learn to pronounce words that are difficult. People who are clear and concise speakers are automatically magnetic.

Learning how to use more advanced words in daily conversations, it gives off a more sophisticated and educated vibe to others.

Be passionate about the things and people you love, even if looked down upon by others. Trust, because everything that you love will come in abundance.

Making an effort to truly listen and understand someone. Engage with them, ask open ended questions and maintaining open body language. People will be so much more interested about who you are as a person.

Be genuine. Not only to others, but also yourself. People naturally gravitate to those who know themselves and their values.

Being truly kind to others. Always lend out a helping hand, even if you know they wouldn’t have done the same for you. Whatever you put out, will come back.

Relating to the previous point, don’t be afraid to ask for help from others. While you should strive to be independent, allow yourself to receive and be provided for.

Work towards being confident. Not only in your physical appearance but also your abilities, your standing in life and your environment. The only validation you should get is from you!

Smile, even if you’re not in the mood for it, smiling actually boosts our mood and the moods of others + it gives off more approachable vibes.

Start complimenting others, even if you do not believe that compliment yourself. We make ourselves more approachable and kinder to others, but it also will change our mind to be more positive and accepting.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Keep up with that beautiful, sexy, cute, perfect face babes. Make looking yourself in the mirror your favourite pastime and bless others with the privilege of seeing you.

Your smile is the best part about yourself. Brush those pearly whites, use mouthwash and floss. If really nesscessary use a teeth serum.

Do yoga and stretches to improve your posture. You’ll notice different parts of your body improving, like your jaw, hump neck etc.

Start nose breathing. A small one for sure, but it can make or break you in the long run.

Sleep on your back, your mouth is closed so you don’t breath through it and it helps with symmetry of your face.

Create a beauty planner. Plan what you want to do for yourself, whether it’s at home or done professionally, plan on what days you do it, the products you use, the vibe you’re going for etc

Create a closet you feel confident in. The l rarest and expensive thing you can wear is confidence in yourself.

Start sanitising your hands regularly. Even if we try, we still touch our face during the day. Instead of trying to fight against it, just make sure your hands are clean.

Smell good, there’s tons of tutorials out there that outline how to be smelling good all day. It makes you feel good and others moods will boost around you.

Change pillowcases like once a week, it can easily get dirty and can affect your skin and hair.

Keep track of your beauty products and when they expire, but if anything of that substance changes even mildly, throw it!

[eva-reviews]

The Invisible Life of Addie LeRue by V. E. Schwab -- A Review

Trigger Warnings: Death, starvation, suicide attempt, depression,  drug addiction, alcoholism, mentions of sex, mentions of oral sex, mentions of rape, prostitution, emotional manipulation, abusive relationship, war, imprisonment, mentions of WWII, sexism, grief, homelessness, family trauma, mentions of homophobia. 

My Rating 

10/10. My best friend has been telling me to read this for 3 years, and I finally got around to it. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint at all. The way that I felt Addie's pain, joy and fear was incredible, and the little twist at the end was so good. The characters developed and evolved so well. Since Addie has lived 300 years, it does give you a lot to work with, with how she can change, grow and develop. Same with Luc, he was such an amazing character. He is definitely the epitome of chaotic neutral, satisfying his own needs before others, but by no means evil. He has his rules and he plays within them. Luc is neither a villain nor hero. I really love morally grey characters, they are so much fun, and because they are neither good nor bad, you don’t really know what they will do next. 

Overview

Addie LeRue asks for a wish she doesn’t understand the consequences of. Being able to live forever and be remembered by no one, is a sure way to become a living ghost. Still determined to find adventure and love, she wanders around in the big wide, ever-changing world, completely alone. Well, except for Luc, who asks every year if she has had enough, asks if she is ready to rest in exchange for her soul. And every year, Addie declines, continuing on to spite Luc. Their back-and-forth game of lies, testing, and gentle touches goes on for three hundred years, until, someone remembers her. And her once lonely existence is not so lonely anymore. 

My Thoughts 

This whole book revolves around time and feeling like you don't have enough of it. Addie asks for more time saying “... so scared of the years rushing past beneath my feet. I do not want to die as I’ve lived, which is no life at all … I want more time” (pg 46). Luc comments how humans need more time when he is showing Addie how different they are. He states “The vexing thing about time is that it’s never enough. Perhaps a decade too short, perhaps a moment. But a life always ends too soon.” (pg 333). This is something I think everyone can relate to, I’m constantly hearing, ‘Time is flying’, ‘I can’t believe how fast they grow’, or ‘It's already been a year?’. Even for myself, it feels as though every year is passing faster than the last. You always need more time, more time to learn, to love, to live. There will never be enough time “God, what he would give for just another day” (pg. 422). It can be really depressing to think about, how, we as humans only have a little to accomplish so much. But it can also be so invigorating because we don't have a long time we have to do things that matter, that we enjoy. After all, we won't always have the time to do so. 

“Because happiness is brief and history is lasting, and in the end, everyone wants to be remembered” (pg 351) 

Everyone can relate to this quote. No matter who you are or what you do. People want to be remembered. Whether it is through graffiti, books, inventions or art, people want to leave a lasting impression. 

Luc is neither a demon nor a god, Luc has no gender and he is absent of appearance. He simply appears how you want him to appear. For Addie, he is tall dark and handsome. We first meet Luc when Addie feels as though her life is falling apart, she prays after dark and he is the one who answers. When Addie says what she wants, he originally declines “I am not in the business of charity. You ask for too much. How many years until you’re sated? How many, until I get my due?” (pg 47). This deal does nothing to benefit him. It isn’t until Addie says he can have her soul once she is done with it, that he agrees to it. Every anniversary, Luc shows up. Whether or not he makes his presence known, he is always there in the shadows. It originally starts so he can ask if she is ready to give him her soul, to make her cave, saying “Come give me what I want, and the deal will be done, this misery can end” (pg 117) Addie denies him, just to spite him. This continues on for years until it is no longer just to taunt Addie, but it becomes a form of a relationship. Not only is Luc the only person who remembers her and sees her once a year, but Addie is there for Luc. Whether Luc realizes it or not, he desires connection, and Addie has been there for multiple lifetimes, much longer than his normal deals last. 

Henry's curse is for people to see what they want to see. I think that this is something that so many people can relate to. We want to fit in, we want people to like us, and especially, we want the people who we love to be proud of us. Henry goes through his life, before Luc, becomes a disappointment, his brother is a doctor, his sister is an art critic, and Henry dropped out of college. He is the black sheep of the family. His ex-boyfriend, whom he loved and deeply missed, wants him back, Robbie says “You were different, we weren’t a fit … You didn't know what you wanted … You have to know who you are. Back then, you didn’t” (pg. 276), but Henry knows that his feelings are not his real feelings. We all want love, and the things that we will do for love can be drastic, “You want to be loved. You want to be enough” (pg.248). When you know that they don’t love you, they love the idea they have created for you, sure, it feels nice in the beginning. But it doesn't last long, it is not real, and sometimes it can hurt more than not being loved. Because it isn't you. “Henry has no idea who he is, and now, neither does anyone else” (pg 276).  

Throughout Henry and Addies time together, Henry made a point to record Addies life. So people could remember her and speak her name. A year after Addie's disappearance, Henry published her biography as a work of fiction. Not only was he able to keep the memory of Addie alive, so people could, in a way, know her, but he also found something to do. Instead of feeling like he is existing for no reason, just taking up space. I thought it was such a cool idea to have us read the whole book, looking at it as if it was all fantasy. And having that reveal that it was a biography. It really makes us as the audience feel as though we could be part of this world, as we would never remember seeing Addie, and this is a book we just read. And we can really resonate with Bea’s anger at the end of the book when Addie just disappears, we also feel that anger/loss that Addie and Henry are not able to stay together. 

Conclusion

I loved this book. I thought it was so interesting how it jumped around from times. Sure it was a little confusing at times, but it was able to make us understand why Addie would react a certain way, or how it affected her. I think this would be a great first book for someone new to fantasy, as it is low fantasy. Meaning it takes place in our world, with our history. You should definitely read this.

[cagedchoices]

I saw a post the other day that said it's weird when people say “[muse name] is so spicy right now” because, in their words, “people who do that are just writing smut as a self-insert fantasy to get off to" I thought that was kind of reductive and untrue and it kind of highlights a growing issue I’ve noticed in the RPC and I kind of just wanted to talk about it from my own perspective.

I am an asexual, aromantic, and nonbinary afab person. My most consistently present roleplay muse for the past 4 years is a cis man I headcanon to be bisexual and biromantic. I feel like it should be somewhat obvious that this is not a self insert fantasy for me, but if it's not that obvious, I'll try to explain.

Initially, I based Caleb's sexuality off an admittedly narrow perception of his canon background. I interpreted his relationship with Francis as romantic partially because at the time, I thought “There’s no heterosexual explanation for how emotional Caleb gets whenever he thinks about Francis, so therefore he must have been in love with this man.”

In addition to that, Caleb had 2 failed relationships after Francis died and there’s nothing dictating what gender(s) those partners were.

I was also partially motivated by spite. How many times has everyone heard “ugh not every close emotional bond between two men has to be gay 😒” ? How many times has that been used to shut down any conversation on the question of sexuality when it involves two male characters? I was sick of it.

I used to say that though. Before I knew any better. I'd see two characters who had a connection I liked seeing as platonic, and instead of reasoning that it's perfectly valid to interpret these characters how you want, I would be like “no. absolutely not. these characters aren't gay because the author didn't write them to be and didn't say they were and actually it's pretty homophobic to think the only way men can be emotionally vulnerable is if they're gay” which is…STUPID lmao don't be like Past Me. That was a DARVO tactic and a particularly shitty one at that. I'm not like that anymore and I'm glad I learned to do better.

Anyways... I love shipping, but I’m less attached to looking through shipping goggles these days and I try not to look at anything from such a narrow point of view anymore. Now whenever I think about the bond between Caleb and Francis, I can see it in a multitude of ways. Which is the same way I see his bond with Dolores in season 3 and his bond with Maeve in season 4. And further how I see potential for ships I develop in roleplay.

But recently I'd been struggling a little bit with truly defining the difference between romantic versus platonic ideals. Most of the generic definitions I see out there describe romantic attraction as being “the desire to do romantic things with someone” and then the examples listed are something like “kissing, holding hands, getting married, spending time together, etc.” and I'm just like “okay what about when people do those things *without* romantic attraction involved?”

Like it just breaks my brain. People get married for reasons that aren't out of love sometimes. And as much as I like kiss scenes in fiction and I like writing them when my brain stops short circuiting long enough to actually do that, I think the entire act of putting your mouth on another human’s mouth and sometimes getting tongues or teeth involved in smushing your lips together over and over again is a really weird ritual to show someone you like them. I still write it though because it's cute. As for holding hands and spending time together?? Are we just not supposed to spend time with friends ever? What the fuck.

I stumbled across a video a few days ago by a neuroscientist who has studied the concept of love in the human brain and what she said helped me put things into a better perspective. Someone asked her if there's a good way to differentiate between platonic and romantic relationships when, especially in modern society, we don't have as much separation between the things humans do WITH romantic partners versus in non-romantic relationships and the lines blur more than they used to in the past.

What she said was that romantic love behaves similarly to an obsession or addiction in the brain. It's not just the fact that you want to DO so-called romantic activities with someone, it's more that you want to do them so badly with a specific person, you can't really let go of the thought until you follow the impulse to do it.

Kissing, for example. It's possible you might want to kiss a friend you have a strong platonic bond with, but if you don’t do it, then the interest usually fades and the brain will quickly move on. On the other hand, if you have a crush/partner/spouse/any kind of romantic connection and you want to kiss them, the brain will most likely fixate on the thought of kissing them until you actually go and do something. It will not fully move on until it gets the dopamine hit.

I guess since I’m aromantic, this means that for me, I don’t experience that addictive feeling of wanting to do something with someone so badly that it's all I think about. But I write a muse who is biromantic and does experience romantic attraction, which sort of requires me to know how it works, so I can actually write about it.

I see sexual attraction in a similar way. I’m asexual and in my case, I'm one of the ones who doesn't experience sexual attraction in any way and is not comfortable with being personally involved in sex. But my muse is bisexual and does experience sexual attraction.

So I decided to start writing smutty things last year and I had a couple reasons for it. The first is that I had never actually written smut before so it was something new to try, and practice would mean I would get better at it.

The second was that I have watched, for years, many of my mutuals routinely participate in sexy sunday and similar things. It probably sounds kind of like peer pressure, but it wasn’t like anyone was really encouraging me to do anything or not do anything. It was more like after years and years of existing in my own bubble of never engaging in it, I wanted to see what I was missing. Completely my choice.

Thirdly, after tackling the subjects of “where the fuck do you put your hands?” “does this position sound physically possible? or...comfortable?” and the like, writing simple kiss scenes or non-sexual intimacy no longer feels like a monumental task that I mentally freeze up on the second I realize I have to write.

For a while it also got very hard for me to figure out when someone wanted to ship with me versus when they didn’t. I was afraid to ask. I started overthinking everything to the effect of “what if they think I’m being presumptuous and pressuring them into writing a romantic relationship they don’t want?” or “what if they are afraid to tell me they actually Are interested in a ship in case i think they’re trying to pressure me into it instead?”

There was also quite a bit of “oh god what if they see that i wrote my muse on a date with someone in a certain location and when i put our muses in that same location for a different thread they think it’s a date too when it’s not?” or even “what if a mun of a duplicate muse sees me writing a ship with a different partner writing the same muse and they start thinking i’m only writing with them to add them to a weird little collection or something?” and all the social anxiety I fall victim to when my mental health gets tanked by stress and depression.

All of this to say, now that I’ve climbed back out of the pit of despair I fell into… I don’t think anything is as simple as “people only write shipping to fulfill the desire for a relationship/people only write smut to fulfill their own sexual desires.” I think you have to take it on a case by case basis and not make broad assumptions. Otherwise all you're gonna do is alienate people over things that really don't matter.

Plus, maybe it's just that “[muse name] is feeling so spicy right now!” is a lot quicker and easier to say than “the part of my subconscious imagination that [muse name] occupies is telling me that if this muse were a real person, they would be feeling sexually aroused right about now and I'm willing to write about it!” so like. Y’know.

[selfpivot]

Unlocking Success: The Critique That Makes Magic with Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the bridge that transforms our struggles into opportunities for growth and success.

“If I Am Not Harsh Towards Me, How Am I Supposed to Achieve? “

A frequent question I get asked when discussing self-compassion or hosting a workshop on the topic. Let us look at it-

We as a culture have been taught never to give up, to work hard towards our goal, to be open to suggestions, and to be critical of what we do. Now there is nothing inherently wrong about that kind of thinking, goals cannot be met until you work towards them. Until you receive feedback about a task and you are serious about it, you cannot progress.

The part where it gets on the unhealthy side of it is when one’s sense of self gets attached to it. Growing up in almost all households something besides these virtues that were taught was these unwritten rules or as Carl Rogers put it ‘Conditions of worth’.

Not only do you have to achieve, but if you do not meet a certain standard, you will not be considered worthy as a person and worthy enough to be loved. It was not just about criticism of your work but also criticism of yourself and how much value you should see in yourself. “Success isn’t only about your achievement, but also about being nice to yourself and rising from helpful response. Get in touch with Self-Pivot for Best Online Therapy to achieve your goal.

Self-Compassion: How to Overcome Harsh Self-Criticism

Having a critical view of one’s identity means a very rigid way of living life. Either you are perfect or you are worthless as a human, either you are achieving everything on a given timeline or else you are not enough as a person. The moment every situation, every experience, and every outcome are seen from an angle of being a defining factor of who you are, the criticism does not help you, it cripples you.

It does not allow you to be okay with your limitations and rectify them, it makes you question yourself; it makes you ask yourself how dare you made that mistake. Does this kind of criticism help? It does not. It further withdraws you from growth and consistency. replace in simple word-Self-compassion is the essential toolkit for navigating the complexities of our era, offering a lifeline of kindness in a world full of challenges.

Criticism helps only when you direct it objectively at a task, separate from your worth or character. Treat it like a project and, as a researcher, figure out how to make it work. When you’re curious and passionate, you’ll find ways to stay accountable, and discipline will come naturally.

Achievement then is not a survival mechanism; it helps you thrive and explore different facets of your mind. You do not get bogged down easily.

The harshness, the rules, and the discipline need to be directed toward the work, only then help you achieve it.

Calling yourself a loser does not get the work done, seeing yourself capable of finding a way out gets the work done. And that is where self-compassion comes in.

Self-Compassion: Learning from Mistakes and Criticism:

Self-compassion is another way of saying that you need to consider yourself human, a human who makes mistakes but can also rectify them, a human who can face limitations but also has strengths to overcome them, a human who can have bad days, but that does not mean they cannot come out of it. When there is self-compassion, the self is also functional. Since it is not personal, all the critical viewpoints can be directed to the task at hand.

Questions to ask yourself-

1. When I look back on my past, what kind of self-dialogues made it impossible to get a task done?

2. When I receive criticism about work, do I blame myself, or do I let it be about the work?

3. When I look back on my past, what kind of words would have helped build confidence?

4. What kind of virtues get the work done?

5. What kind of words would help me become more resilient towards my work?

Conclusion:

In this article, we have seen how Online Therapy Sessions help for success by nurturing Self-kindness. These articles come out straight from a therapist’s room.

Your dose of insights with some questions for reflection. after all, therapy is incomplete without some homework on the side. watch this space for more.

[dinethfernando-mga2023mi5019]

Why these 3 topics stood out to me than the rest- Identity, Fungus and Aging

Identity - The world of Lost Identities

Identity is something that is unique from person to person. Every individual on earth has his/her own unique identity, which makes every person a special person. But recently, I came to think that this world is taking away the uniqueness of people and make them walking clones of each other. More like corpses who carry heavy bags to work/school. Every individual has a certain amount of colorfulness as a child but once they grow up, the colourfulness decreases.

I am an individual who uses public transportation daily to university. It is in fact scary how many people I see wearing an office outfit carrying laptops travelling the bus with big frowns on their faces. Dehumanizing a human by society and making you a no body is something that I want to address in my project.

In fact we have to pretend and act in front of the society. This issue is something that has been dwelling in my mind for sometime and this would be the perfect chance for me to express it.

Fungus- The Diverse nature of the organism

Ever since I was a kid, I had been afraid of Fungi. I remember as a small kid there were mushrooms in my garden. I was afraid to go near them because I always viewed them as some sort of creatures which did not move. As I grew up, I got to know that my assumption is not all wrong. In fact, fungus is a living organism which can be harmful sometimes.

It is weird how Fungi can be very diverse. 200,000 species of fungus have been discovered and 2 million fungi is yet to be discovered. They sometimes can be invisible to the naked eye, but also the largest living organism by area is also a fungus. Fungus is essential for our existence (Decomposition and releasing Oxygen, carbon to the environment , yeast in making bread, wine cheese) but also can cause death to us. Fungi that get into the lungs, blood, or brain are especially dangerous.

"Without the decomposing activities of saprotrophic fungi, we would disappear under a mountain of unrotted dead leaves and logs!"

(Source https://www.rhs.org.uk/science/articles/fun-fungi-facts)

Ever since I got the brief this was the first option in my mind. I tried to see fungal shapes in nature so that I can experiment them for my animation. A few weeks back I saw this design and thought of capturing some photos because I saw a Fungi shape in a water body which was covered with mud. This image made me excited for this topic.

Aging- The Beauty of Growing Old

I have always viewed aging as a blessing. You are born as an infant to this world and with time your body grows into a healthy young individual. You learn a lot of stuff and become matured day by day. This era comes to an end when your body starts to get weak. You are left with a fragile body and if you are lucky a life full of experiences. This is an art. Just like a flower, you blossom and then you weather and you are gone.

The feeling that a majority would have for aging is fear. The fear for aging is common among people nowadays. This fear factor can go to extreme levels and would cause abnormal and persistent effects and hence this is a diagnosable medical condition which is given the name ‘gerascophobia’. The feelings realted to this delas with the loss of their looks, the loss of independence, inactivity after retirement, impaired mobility, the onset of disease, and confinement in a nursing home.

In my concept, I wanted to talk about the "wonder" factor in ageing. The feeling of happiness and satisfaction you feel when you look at your life and how far you have come.

Aging can be a very beautiful thing for one person and from another man's perspective it could be the most horrendous thing that could happen to an individual. This also reminds me of the 7 stages of man

"And one man in his time plays many parts,      His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,      Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms"

Towards the poem's end it says the following

 "his big manly voice,      Turning again toward childish treble"

When talking facts about aging, the the pace of population ageing is much faster than in the past. Between 2015 and 2050, the proportion of the world's population over 60 years will nearly double from 12% to 22%. In fact, we can say there is a clear shift in distribution of a country's population towards older ages.[2]

[oregon-barbi13]

I am going to put it all out there! IDGAF!

So, I'll begin by saying how healing this is gonna be!

today I am from the "wishamotherfuckerwoods" tribe. today i lay it all bare. i am disappointed. i am heartbroken. i am angry. i feel cheated. i feel manipulated. i feel lied to. I feel taken advantage of. today i am a mother of a child that the system has failed. yea. i said it. the judicial system has failed my child. Her rapest sits in jail and they drag their feet with getting court ordered evalutations, for what? so they can get rich? who fucking wins here? every single time we are forced to "revisit" these court ordered evaluations, we are revictimized. I have to relive the night my daughter, the human being that i grew in my my womb, however she may have gotten there, was raped by the spermdonor that raped me.

the system has failed. it takes weeks for documents to make it to the correct places to make it into the right hands. then it takes more weeks for it to be processed, why? because there aren't enough people to handle the case loads. like wake up people this is not ok. my child shouldn't have to endure 3 years of having to relive this nightmare just to be told and given the hope only to have it strip away at the end it. you have made me the bad guy. because every single time you all decide to drag your feet and order yet another evaluation you postpone the "sentencing" and i am the one she turns to because i am her safety. i have to tell her that the system is failing and i wish i could fix it but i can't. all i can do is give her a voice. make sure that her story is told and that what happened to her never happens to another girl ever again, and to the girls going through something similiar, reach out, you are not alone. mamas, i implore you to reach out, please, i promise you are not the failure here, the system is.

just when i thought i was healing, here comes all the emotions screaming back up like a valcano. the guilt. the shame. the disgust. the odasacity. I am absolutely just blown away by what's being projected on to our youth. this is disgusting yall. we need to do better. we need to hold these people accountable for the trauma. abuse. trauma. it's not ok. yall our youth are committing suicide at a desprately alarming rate. their mental health matters. their feelings matter. they are people. yall, we all need to learn how to navigate these huge emotions, like abdaondmant trauma, trauma bonding, our parents didn't have these studies or services available to them. that's not an excuse, everyone's accountable. but to ask a 15 year old to make these kinds of decisions AND uphold societial norms.

i am so tired of being forced to relive every single abuse that has ever been handed to me by the wade family. from the physical right down to the kidnapping of my daughter. i have lived my life in fear of them taking her away from me. ryan spent the weekend in sept raping the child he raped me to get. rape has many forms. what he did to me was rape. i was scared. i didn't want to be in the relationship but i thought i was doing the right thing by at least giving him a chance, hoping that he would grow up after his child had arrived. he did not. i asked for a couple of weeks to get my shit togheter. I wanted to spend some time with my daughter and spend some time thinking and deciding if i could actually be a single parent. because at the time i wasn't even sure i wanted to be with travis. ryan and cindy confronted the gem county police department who then met them at tom cabin diner and said, "because there is no custody in place, you take her anywhere you want and there's nothing legally she can do." i was fucking crushed. they kept her from me for seven days. i had no way of knowing if she was cold or hungry or anything. their excuse for taking her like that? " Sarah would have done it"

i am fucking angry. because this isn't fair. my daughter has to relive, i'm forced to relive. my family is forced to relive.

[whitefluffybearcub]

7/1/2023

— ego is a component of the human illusion realities. People often times argue with each other purely over their egos.

To see that they are really arguing over illusion is kind of amusing, if you see you understand.

Children in the play ground. They will grow and evolve.

— they all play with your emotions to control you and to summon a collective energy. Much Of you fall into it every time.

— those in the spot light, deemed the important and part of the elite, but from their eyes there is nothing but unhappiness and sadness. The contrast.

7/2/2023

— when humans are at their most desperate and weak moments, they would often times show their true characters, who they designated to be at some point in this journey.

—When one likes to focus on gossiping, blaming, and manipulating via deceit, they are also chipping away their own well-being. They do not realize how unhappy they are because of that.

— whatever you do in this karmic reality, there is always a ripple effect but rest assured it would always come back to you and yours, sometimes the longer it takes to come back, the bigger the ripple, whether it be good or bad karma.

— humans would go to a certain point and realize that if their hearts aren’t really in it, whatever it is it would eventually collapse, whether it is a day or a decade, because deep down they, the creators of their products, don’t even believe in it but just a tool to grab cash.

7/3/2023

— chasing hype after hype, it morphs into an addiction then it would never stop. Human nature is easily corrupted. They don’t want you to know of course.

— what if you found out what you needed all along is something simple, not anything over the top. The latter really is just wasted energy.

— be kind and be free of ego, all unconditionally, would be one of the ultimate human lessons and experiences.

7/4/2023

— karma would take place at a precise and the most profound moments so the spirit can learn about it and that these meaningful experiences would also pass on to the soul.

— if you are mindful enough, you would see that most arguments are just exchange Of ego or a repeat of ego but know that they are all meant to go through this.

Thanks for showing me this.

— karma would make sure the evil in this reality would reveal and expose itself one way or another, sooner or later. Some would choose to start healing then some would go even deeper and even lower with deceit.

The universe works in mysterious ways providing a designated path for all spirits and entities.

And the seemingly innocent who have fell victim to the evil, they also have karmic ties with it. Taken advantage in this chapter, take advantage in the next, and vice versa.

—the wars created by the big companies and rulers to profit from, to gain control of anything, to fulfill hidden agendas. All the loss of lives are blood on your hands and this would mean karmically and energetically. This concept applies to all groups of so called elites who seek mass wealth and control of every civilization.

If you choose to do this, know that you are willingly to play this game of karmic wheel.

— in this certain part of the world, you have to fake everything and ultimately you would find what you think happiness is, is also fake. False happiness lasts just for a minute and then you are back at pretending.

Is it worth it ? Only you can decide.

— the traits that one used to hate but slowly they also morph into exactly what they used to hate. They could not heal that extended karmic energy so they become it.

It is possible they might not be able to heal it at all In one lifetime. Their soul has a plan for them anyway. All In the designated destiny.

— this human world isn’t perfect but it has been designated this way. I am grateful because it is still more beautiful than anything else.

7/5/2023

— observe what one says or does because it would be a reflection of who they really are.

Pretense would not last, they would show their true color one way or another.

7/6/2023

— just observe. Each day you see tons of people who bow down to ego. Ego being their master, is dictating them what to do, how to feel, all not in a good way.

— when you live only for the camera, you create a void in your inner self. Your inner child does not care about social media or anything superficial.

— people who lie to you so you can be controlled, if you heed their words you are also walking on a path towards depression.

— the evil does not discriminate within all levels of evil. You see that the entities who think they are at the top of evil, also get sacrificed when their masters see fit.

That is what it is like to let it in and play with evil.

— the hype is never what it seems, otherwise it would not be a hype.

7/7/2022

— there will always be a steep price to pay for chasing fame, power, and ego.

— the human digital online world, is a similar replica of how fate and karma works, each deed is recorded and stored somewhere, it would come back to you somehow, somewhere, some day, good or bad.

I do hope you do good so there is good karma for you but ultimately it’s your experience and choice.

— everyone is acting strangely, everyone is guided to jump off the cliff. Some of them willingly, some aren’t.

Something in the water, something in the air, something in the food, what else could it be? You think.

— everything in this human world is ultimately for entertainment purposes. Don’t take it too seriously.

7/8/2023

— when you are tuned into the vibration and frequency of ego, you would never find genuine happiness because happiness is an energy that operates at a higher frequency.

Do follow ego and see what it is like but remember my words. True happiness happens when ego is properly released.

— in this point of human journey, the elites, the celebrities, the powerful, the high authority and the ultra wealthy would have all their deceit all exposed, and that their worshippers and followers would see the truth of what their energy really is.

It is a two way lesson, don’t you see, the exposed would have to start learning about integrity, morals, and compassion.

— the mindless would be easily sent on a trip of hysteria by words, drugs, fear, propaganda, experiment, manipulation, and other lowly ways. Many are made to fight each other but all orchestrated by the same hand. Karma applies to all, no discrimination.

Whether they wake up from it depends how they can elevate energetically but whatever happens it is still a part of their destiny and experience.

— when the denial sees the truth and knows that is the truth, it would first be very angry because they do not want to leave denial and face the truth. Just a matter of time.

— the games you play in this place.It is designed that you do not know all is an illusion .

— you would be very angry once you’ve found out you’ve been lied to. Instead of being destructive, Use that mighty anger to make things right, just, and fair and ultimately heal.

— some souls have designated that they pay for their karmic debt in private, some in the public. Rest assured, karma is with you no matter who you are, as long as you are in this frequency.

7/10/2023

— as glamorous as it can be on the outside, it is usually filled with insidious and overpowering darkness.

— ego would never lead one to the path of true happiness because happiness operates at a higher frequency. However you can choose to elevate energetically but you first have to rid of ego.

It is a lesson for all humans.

— when someone says “you can’t pay my price”, it just means that person is still willing to sell themselves with a more hefty price tag.

Ego In the land that is already rotten and corrupt.

— no matter who is running the show, it is just a circus. Might as well enjoy the show and have a good laugh. Everything and everyone is amusing in their own way if you see.

— there is endless decay in this world. You do not have to pay attention to any of it. The process of decay itself is an experience for the designated spirits.

Let them run their courses.

— each ego in this world serves a purpose and a lesson. Let it be and let it experience what it has been here to feel.

When ego serves no purpose to you anymore and you encounter another one, let them pass. You do not have to say or do anything, you do not even have to acknowledge it.

Let each ego run its course and serve its own destiny and experience.

Be mindful. Be quiet. Let them be.

— be calm. All is well.

— be reminded that the pain you inflict on someone, would always come back to you, may be in the same way, may be in different ways.

After all, We live in a karmic cycle reality.

Remember you make that choice.

— if not all, it is human nature to want to be greedy and selfish when they are seemingly infused with power and authority.

Know that they are also in a lesson of karmic cycle. What goes up must come down in this human world. They must learn firsthand and go through the highs and lows themselves.

— all of the celebrities, politicians, public influencers, and elites are all corrupt and can be brought for a price. If they do not agree, they are simply being rid of. A rule for being in that high club.

— power does corrupt a human mind because it leads to selfishness, greed, and more corruption.

7/12/2023

— humans react rather negatively when their ego is hurt. Observe carefully, see the ones who have the most overwhelming but sensitive ego but it is also part of their journey.

Do not buy into their ego.

Thanks for showing me.

— people who have big ego would get angry when they feel like they have to be right all the time,and that people around them can only say or do things exactly how they want.

Know that these people are highly unhappy in life, and can never be happy for too long because the next thing that is going to Piss them off is just around the corner, all the time. They do deserve your mercy and compassion the most.

After all, Your energy attract what happens to you and determines how you feel.

7/13/2023

— even the giants who seemingly are invincible, would fall due to its karmic debt. Each evil deed that earns bad karma would chip away at the giants from inside out and vice versa.

The universe is also showing you how this reality works. Observe mindfully.

— the human world is funny, in ways that are so ironic. Many are imprisoned and corrupted by their success, and that their success brings them so much unhappiness, sufferings, and struggles. In the tiring pursuit of always something greater and grander, they lose their balance.

It does not apply to all but to so many. The humans in this human world are never truly what they seem.

7/14/2023

— don’t get angry. Don’t hate. Don’t be egotistical.

to truly make peace and find compassion from within and unconditionally, you must first understand each other’s pain from their perspective.

What seems like a disorder reflected on the surface, it is rooted by unbearable pain deep down.

Fate would not have everyone be unconditionally loving, but it is by design for this reality.

Do the best you can. Instead of hatred and anger, Pray and Cheer for them to elevate.

— in order to find peace, one must first forgive from the heart.

— the ones you see and encounter, the ones brimming with ego, say nothing and do nothing, let their ego be their biggest teacher.

They will learn thru their own ways even if you say or do absolutely nothing.

7/15/2023

— playing low vibrational games, your only outcome would of course be low vibrational. Even if you didn’t know, you’ll learn.

7/16/2023

— remember, fear, greed, corruption, and ego would never lead one to true happiness and genuinely love.

One must make that choice, And it shall be their journey.

— the only just law and order In this reality is karma, meticulously and precisely enforced by the soul of the universe.

If you eyes are open, you’ll see.

— the humanly games you play in this realm. The rules are not truly set by man because man themselves are the players no matter who they are in this world.

The rules are set by karma at the courtesy of the soul of the universe. An unbiased balance enforcer.

— the ones want you to rid of your integrity, are the ones dragging you down with them. It is the role they play.

Do you want to go down? It is your choice and journey.

— when anyone who wants you to refer them as god like and isn’t an equal as you, just know that you are witnessing a very big ego who is on an big egotistical trip. It is nothing more than an ego, and is definitely not something you should worship as a god.

Just saying.

7/17/2023

— when the mainstream media is pushing for something, it would be everywhere you see. It is never what it seems. Seemingly innocent and fun but there is a propaganda behind it, usually not for the good of mankind.

It is just how humans are in this reality. Be mindful.

— the evil that you push, enable, protect and harbor, it would also one day turn on you and bring you much troubles. Rules according to karma.

— always beware of the ones who use fear to gain attention, to control, and to fulfill selfish agendas. They all operate at a low frequency.

— every human’s relationship with Mother Nature is karmic. the bad you have done to Mother Nature for your greed, your agenda, your manipulation, all of it would come back to you and yours. If you have hurt Mother Nature, get ready to be hurt. Burn and be burned. Harm and be harmed. Kill and be killed.

— the universe would show everyone that no politicians, no governments, no known elite groups are truly in control, they are puppets that follow orders from the back hand.

And it is in karma’s plan that the hands would tire and lose everything. Their lesson would be about the limitations in this reality as the same as everyone else. There is a lesson for ego.

No one within this reality can cheat or bypass karma and fate. It knows everything and guides to balance in its mysterious and just ways.

— every human is mesmerized by the smoke of super wealthy and famous, little do they know that it is just a playground for the ultra evil. If they insist on playing in this place, they would eventually find that out but they won’t be able to shake off the disease that comes with this evil playground.

Best of luck.

7/19/2023

— where they are coming from, how they are linked, what stages they are on,and what they are trying to be along with their actions and words, that’s pretty much all you have to know in order to determine what characters and roles they would be playing in this reality.

— when it is everywhere and promoted by the mainstream constantly, it is most likely a propaganda and a psychological operation, all man made. By now it should be easy to spot for the most. Keep your wits about you my love.

It is nothing more or less than how this reality goes.

7/20/2023

— the words and actions of truly caring and pure fear do carry different energy. No matter how much manipulation is used to disguise fear as caring, the energy could not be manipulated. The karma would balance it somehow someway.

— some people would destroy their reputation and name over greed, corruption, ego, and power.

There would be no coming back from that of a ruined image. They could heal but it only starts with something purely genuine. Or they could get even lower by keep deceiving.

7/21//2023

— everyone chooses their games to play in this reality. Everyone and everything is meant to be.

To judge another’s game just because you don’t see from their perspective, is also egotistical.

I now understand. Let them be. Thank you for showing me.

— when you have time to sit in a room with only yourself in any shape or form, you can think and see with clarity, calm thoughts, and mindfulness, then you can be honest with yourself. I hope you would eventually choose to heal, do all the genuine things and be absolutely genuinely happy. I want that for all of the beings here.

— the games you choose to play in this reality. Please learn well and find peace from them. That is all there to it. All temporary. Be compassionate and kind with yourself and others. I wish you love no matter what.

— each being here is to fulfill a purpose, to learn a lesson, to balance karma, even when they are not aware while being here.

— the adored stars, the famed, the elites, would have to give up genuine self respect, ethnics, and love to have that bright light shine on them, but only to become a disposable tool and sacrifice at some point.

All in the pact they signed up for.

7/23/2023

— each and all means something, and it is why they come into this reality. No matter what you’ve chosen, I send you love so that Love would be available to you always in this place if and when you choose to want to experience genuine love. If there is genuine will, there is a genuine way. That is the only way to go about genuine love.

— Sending love to our mighty Mother Nature. May you protect and restore in your greatest glory. Thank you so much for carrying and providing on infinite of earth beings.

— each expression in this realm is meant to be, accordingly to its frequency, is a part of this story and journey.

— the events in this reality itself are also trying to explain away how being in this reality works.

Many humanly events here are illusion based, and they are small pieces of this bigger puzzle piece which is also an illusion as a whole. First man made but the latter is by the soul.

— this world needs all of its characters so it can play out the story that the soul has designed. Each character and expression has its own experiences and knowledge.

All of everyone and everything in here is temporary and ultimately just an illusion.

7/24/2023

— what you consider weird but very usual for a certain population in a different nation is merely just perspective and perception.

People like to judge because human are infused with ego.

—love, non- love, and everything in between, all on track in this life.

— karma is energy that restores itself. From wrong to right, from lies to truths, from bad to good, from low to elevated. This reality is basically just karma with expressions, knowledge, lessons , and experiences.

7/25/2023

— all of the cat and mouse games end the same way but each pursuit is different. They must take place because it is destined to, for the designated reasons.

7/26/2023

—this human world presents its inhabitants an invisible karmic wheel, some like to climb down, some try to climb up, each to their own experience, expression, and lesson.

— in the human realms, the distractions are to divert your attention to what is truly important. What the big mouth speaks of is mainly just distractions.

Big mouth makes sure everyone hears but you do not have to listen, especially to the distractions.

— hello hurt, cruel, corruption, ego, and hatred. At some point I have learned to thank you because you have provided lessons that are otherwise impossible if it wasn’t for this human frequency, and as you are designated for this dimension.

7/28/2023

— hello karma, do your things 😊 ❤️ 😊

— hello karma, do your thing. Work that magic. Teach, re-balance, and make things right and just. Be creative and mysterious while at it.

—Karma is a consistent and persistent energy within the human worlds. Sometimes instant, sometimes not. Sometimes one life, sometimes extensions and multiples. Only the mindful can see. You reap what you sow. A cosmic rule.

7/29/2023

— this human world consists mainly of smoke and mirrors. It has been made that way. one has to keep their wits about them. How they would fare in this world, and how genuinely happy they could be, it all depends on themselves and their intelligence of both emotional and intellectual.

— the pain that you could not heal, that you’ve harbored , suppressed, numbed and tried to pass it or take it out on someone else. It still stays with you.

If you acknowledge it and you can try to heal, and eventually you can release it without hurting yourself and others. Would that be a choice for you, most definitely.

7/30/2023

— everything in this perceptive realm, which gives the illusions and influences, are all connected one way or another. Everything and everyone.

— when the wicked speak and praise another wicked, it is kind of fun to watch because you could tell they both actually really hate each other. It happens in the most privileged parties periodically. They put on a show for their own.

— karma is balance. This reality can not be without karma and balance. Karma helps one elevate, otherwise some would just keep going down.

7/31/2023

— there are bullies And it is a reflection of painful ego. At some area, perhaps unseen, these bullies encounter other egos in which make them feel worthless. They pass on that pain as a bully to others but the pain is never healed.

— in this reality, good or bad determines how happy you are with your conscience, and ultimately your karma.

— personally the most genuine people I have come across always want you to think for yourself. No forced beliefs or overwhelming fear. Fear is a currency for control.

— the face that you always want to look at. Something special in their energy, but I choose to release that karma.

— something has to break so that the healing can enter and help elevated the energy. Karma would make sure of it as this reality is ruled by karma.

— when entities within this reality have no more purpose and has no chance in elevate energetically, it would then cease to exist in this world. It would then be sent to another dimension for its further journey.

— one day your humanly blind folds would fall off and that you would have learned how to elevate your energy and spirit via good karma. Until then my love, play well.

[kwockxpressions]

Jane Kim

1. Name, Year, Major & Hometown

Name: Jane Kim, Year and Major: 4th year, Human Biology Major with Public Health Minor Hometown: San Francisco, CA 

2. What are you most proud of?

As corny as it might sound, I am most proud of my resilience and ability to overcome many challenges in life. Life is tough but I believe that I learned and grew a lot from them. Ultimately, it shaped me into the person I am today and I am growing to love myself hehe 

3. If you could choose a Sanrio character as a pet, which one would it be and why?

Hands down, it would be my LITTLE TWIN STARS! Last term (Keene term), I picked up twins and when I made their pillows, I instantly thought of the Little Twin Stars: James as Kiki and Kacie as Lala. In every lifetime, every world, every universe, and every version of reality, I will always find them and choose them ♡ 

4. What is the biggest green flag in someone?

I think the biggest green flag in people is respecting other people’s boundaries. To maintain a healthy relationship, it is important to understand that people have different levels of comfortableness and values and respect their personal space and decisions. 

5. What’s your biggest ick?

KENT BATOON (jk love you kuya) Personally, I can never look past being rude, inconsiderate, and impertinent. 

6. If you were Kirby, who/what would you swallow and become?

YEONJUN! YEONJUN! YEONJUN! FEEL LIKE CINDERELLA NAEGA BYEONAE! I JUST WANNA BE YOUR DOG! 🗣🗣🗣

7. What’s the most embarrassing moment in your life?

I’ve definitely had moments that were “embarrassing” for other people but me personally… I am not embarrassed about anything HAHA 

8. When’s the last time you cried?

I was cleaning my room and found the letters that my littos wrote me during the BBLB workshop. So… the last time I cried was actually a couple of hours ago HAHAHA 

9. What’s your most used emoji?

👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

10. What do you value in a friendship and tell me about your best friend.

One thing I value in a friendship is empathy. I am an emotionally sensitive person so sometimes, it can be hard to manage and cope with my emotions. Therefore, I would like my friends to be empathetic and support me rather than to invalidate my feelings. Also, in a friendship, I believe that they should be there to support me through everything. I would appreciate if my friends wil celebrate my good days while support me during my bad days. Another thing I value is trust. I believe that trust is the basis of a strong friendship. I rely on my friends a lot and can tell them mostly anything. Whenever I am opening up about something and want them to keep it confidential, I know that I can trust them to keep it a secret. Being able to trust my friends brings security to that friendship. I also value acceptance. I have been told that I am a “character” which I guess is true. Sometimes, I can be a lot. I appreciate that my friends accept me for who I am without judgment. They stick by me whenever I do something “embarassing” and embrace my strengths and weaknesses. It makes me feel like I am loved and valued in the friendship once I know that I am accepted by them. Even though it might sound cliché, my best friends would be my siblings. I can tell them ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and no matter what, I know that they will listen to me and support me through any circumstances. Also, they definitely accept me for who I am. In fact, they bring out the “wilder” side of me. I am able to truly be myself whenever I am with them. Additionally, we can do absolutely nothing but the idea of being in each other’s company is more than enough. I can never get tired or bored from them. I actually miss them so much HAHAHA

[allmightluver]

**bnha spoilers** I'm just sat here with renewed realisation of what All Might is going through. 40 years. /40 years/ he held and refined that power and dedicated his every waking (and sleeping if Vigilantes is anything to go by) moment towards the goal of defeating AfO and creating a society in which people could feel happy and safe. And now as it turns out AfO is still alive, society is broken and he has given a literal piece of his soul to this young boy leaving himself with only phantoms

Yes. I don’t think people quite grasp what all he’s going through.

It’s been shown recently to us that some, if not most, heroes have underlying ambitions in becoming a hero. Whether for money, glory, fame, popularity, doesn’t matter. They’re ultimately in it for themselves. Toshinori’s intentions from the beginning have been the most pure- he wanted to be a symbol that people can look to and know things will be ok. A symbol of hope. This boy was only around 14 years old when he decided this. What kind of 14 year old sees the world that clearly? Sees that people have no hope, that a veil of darkness covers them. The only thing I can think of is- Toshinori did not have a good childhood. Something had to have happened to a boy that young to stop seeing the joy in life so early, and see the world’s flaws. Truthfully, I believe he was an outcast- due to his quirklessness. Most likely an orphan, perhaps abandoned by his parents, as we’ve never seen him have any family. I do truly believe Toshinori has been alone all his life. I don’t doubt more could have happened to him as a child before he met Nana. 

Some may argue that Izuku is the same age, and therefore it shouldn’t be that hard to see why Toshinori wanted to be a hero at such a young age. BUT, Izuku had someone to look up to, ever since he was a child of four years old, to inspire him to be a hero his whole life *cough cough* All Might. Izuku also was quirkless, much like Toshinori, and an outcast because of it (hence where I assume Toshinori was much the same). But ultimately, Izuku wanted to save people because he saw his hero do it. It really wasn’t until Izuku was a bit older, has been in UA, has been on rescue missions, has seen what the heroes see, that I think he’s truly realized how dark the world really is. Toshinori didn’t have that. He didn’t have someone to inspire him as a child, someone to look up to, a hero to inspire him to help others. At that time, heroes hadn’t become as popular as they are in present times. Toshinori saw the world for what it was, on his own, at a tender age. I think that day Nana ran into this blonde hair kid, she eyed him up, noticed his scraggly form, looked into those captivating blue eyes, and saw a man who’s lived through the world’s horrors- experienced the worst it has to offer-, and wants to save everyone he can from the same fate, all in a 14 year old boy. 

Then after only a few short years with the woman he saw as his mother, she’s killed in front of him because of his own weakness- he wasn’t strong enough yet to protect her. The only other person his life, Gran Torino, literally abused him. He beat him to a pulp, taking his own emotions out on a teenager, and I doubt Toshinori said anything of it. He probably thought he deserved it. He’s still afraid of Gran Torino to this day, remembering the beatings and expecting more for his failures- even if he doesn’t know what they are surely he’s at fault for something, but he’s the only person who’s stood by his side for this long. Even while at a distance, and spouting nothing but criticisms along the way. But Toshinori had to put aside his own emotions to be that hope for everyone. He left everything he knew to go to a new country on his own, to learn how to be a hero, to be that hope for someone.

Vigilantes showed us just how hard he worked. Toshinori literally stayed awake with no sleep for days on end- 3 in the chapter I’m referencing- because people needed help, people needed saving, and no one else stepped up. He fought villains, rescued civilians, repaired damage, cleared rubble, (even accept and eat food that was against his dietary restrictions after his injury) whatever the public needed, all while draining himself further. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion because he had no help, once literally falling asleep while mid-leap across the city because he simply could go no further. 

^^These happen in succession of each other^^

No one stepped up to say “Hey, Mr. Number 1, you’ve been working hard lately. Let me help you!” No one tried to take over his position. Even the Number 2 hero, Endeavor, never tried to take some of his burden. His only goal was to try to be better than All Might in terms of power- he was never trying to be the hero that the people relied on All Might for. Everyone relied on him when things looked grim. He was the back up plan. And all of this happened before Toshinori’s injury. 

The only thing he ever wanted to do- help people- he can’t do (at least the way he’s always known how to). The ability to save people has been taken from him in the most gruesome way. He was finally able to fight the man that killed Nana, and in a rage that I’m sure echoed with all of the emotions of the previous users, he smashed that man’s head like a grape. But not without consequence. Several organs are gone. The pain is excruciating. He wears that man’s mark on his body for the rest of his life, never truly able to rid himself of the filth.

Then we have Nighteye’s betrayal. The man that helped him as a sidekick, the man that grew to be his only friend. Now some people may ask why Toshinori flipped like he did to Nighteye looking into his future when he was concerned about him making it through his injury. What I believe is Toshinori didn’t want to know when he would die (and really, who does). Now he knows he’s on a time limit, knows the clock is ticking. Time is running out to keep the world at peace, and with him as he is now, how long can this go on? 

I think the betrayal, doing something that Toshinori specifically asked him not to do, is what hurt the most. How can he trust Nighteye anymore? He already can only count on one hand the people he can trust, let alone befriend.

He’s wasted away into a skeleton, a shell of the man he used to be. He can’t over exert himself without his only lung bleeding in protest. It’s canon in the side books that he really doesn’t eat much, which isn’t good for his diet without a stomach now (he’s supposed to have several small meals a day). He is quite literally punishing himself by starving. (Granted, he doesn’t feel hunger anymore.) He’s a sick man, beyond medical help at this point. They can only stabilize him and hope for the best. For five years now he’s in constant pain, every day. He loses blood like sweat. Surely his veins are bruised and collapsed with how many times he would have needed to be hospitalized. Whether from losing too much blood, being too dehydrated or starved from “forgetting” to eat, or an organ failing as body continues to fall apart. “...even as my body rots and grows frail...” - Toshinori People are bound to stare at him as he walks down the street. A tall, willowy, skeleton with a grimace on his face and blood stains on his clothes as he coughs up more into his own hands. There would be the ones who outright ignore him when they walk by, the people who offer pitying smiles and sympathetic glances or just outright stare, and then ones who are afraid of his appearance- children screaming at the mere sight of him and running to their parents to hide from the monster. Each one is another knife in Toshinori’s side, an ache in his chest. If only they knew who I really am.

Losing Nighteye took a toll on his hero work as well. Mirai was a huge help in the past, and took care of all Toshinori’s paperwork, while also reminding him to take care of himself. Without him, Toshinori was even more buried beneath his responsibilities. Plus, now he was on a time limit. He even snapped briefly in his first meeting with Tsukauchi, accidentally revealing himself as All Might because he was under too much pressure, and telling the detective he literally couldn’t handle doing everything by himself (who graciously took over the paperwork side of things for him). 

He was living a double life now, having to lie to people left and right about who he was while in his small form, about how he became so sickly, why he was here in the first place who the heck is this skinny old guy. Surely he had multiple visits to the doctor while continuing to repair the damage done by AFO (there’s a limit to how much the body can handle at once. And things I’m sure continued to fail as time went on). Then he would be bedridden for as long as the doctors could keep him strapped to a bed, until he couldn’t take the people’s cries for help any longer, and would jump into action. (It’s also revealed he has something of a super hearing- able to hear danger- which may have been a form of danger sense of OFA that was never fully unlocked?. Either way, he surly could sense disasters happening while he could only lay and heal from his latest surgery. Those poor doctors must have had to re-stitch him several times). People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.

People blame him for not being a good teacher. He didn’t exactly have the greatest teacher himself to learn from. He’s never had to teach anyone anything, he just punches! He’s learning. And for his own credit, he’s an incredibly wise man, he has years of experience under his belt, and an intelligence score of 6/6, scoring up there with Nezu! He may not always have the right way to bring something up, but he’s doing his best. Yet even he blames himself for Izuku not being able to control his quirk better. Every time the boy hurts himself, it’s just another tally on the chalkboard of Toshinori’s failures. He himself knows the boy deserves better, better than him. Useless. Pathetic.

Then his friend from America, Dave, essentially became a villain trying to preserve Toshinori’s legacy after Toshinori told him about his injury. Dave went behind his back, threatened people, injured people (pretty sure people died), all for Toshinori’s sake. Something he didn’t want to begin with. Having to put your only other friend in jail for trying to help you surely couldn’t have been easy.

Oh, by the way? All For One isn’t dead. All Might will fight him again, publicly, have his weakened form exposed to the world, and have his own emotions toyed with as he finds out about his master’s grandson in the villain’s hands. Would Nana hate him for leaving her son alone like she’d asked, and dooming her grandchild to be raised by the greatest villain? Could he have done anything to save him? But Toshinori isn’t allowed to feel, he has to smile and push his own feelings aside once again, because there’s a villain to be fought, and only he can fight him. Despite coming out on top, he’ll have suffered severe head trauma, broken left arm, destroyed right arm, and several cuts and bruises that are sure to scar. And then, his quirk, the only thing that’s been allowing him to help people, the gift given to him that he carefully held for 40 years and molded into his own until his very consciousness was permanently carved into it, blows out like a match in the wind. And he’s done. Used up. Empty. Broken. Hollow. Alone, again.

He overhears his student, Bakugo, admit that he blames himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured, All Might wouldn’t have had to save him, and he wouldn’t have had to fight AFO. Of course Toshinori knows that’s not true, his time was about to run out anyway. It would have happened one way or another. But how can he explain to this child that he wasn’t the cause of his hero, the world’s greatest hero, fighting for his sake, bleeding for his sake, being forced into retirement to keep him safe. Every time Bakugo sees the bandages covering Toshinori’s body is another reminder of the pain and sacrifice Toshinori willingly gave to keep him safe. Toshinori wasn’t held when his mentor died. He wasn’t told it was ok to be sad, that grief and mourning was a natural process, that it takes time to heal. He wasn’t told it was ok to cry. Instead his feelings were beaten out of him as he wondered if Gran Torino blamed him for Nana’s death. He already blamed himself How then, does he comfort a child mourning for him? For what he lost.

And then he gets the call to come to the hospital. Mirai, Nighteye, his old sidekick friend, has been gravely injured, much like he himself was only a few years ago, and most likely won’t survive the night. And to his horror, Nighteye is happy to see him, smiles at him, says he doesn’t hate him for what happened, only wants Toshinori to be happy. He can’t accept that, at least let him apologize, reconcile his sins before it’s too late! But it is. Another fractured piece of his heart gone.

Of course, seeing your students beat up and their arms completely destroyed must have hurt. Instead of being able to save these kids, they’re the ones that hurt themselves to save everyone else. And if Bakugo had kept OFA, things could have been very different (especially with what we know now of OFA and people with quirks). Toshinori wasn’t mad at Izuku for transferring it away, he’d never regret choosing Izuku, and I believe he still would have stayed by Izuku and Bakugo’s side should it have stayed in Bakugo, doing whatever he could to help.

As he tells Aizawa, “I’ve decided to live,” -that statement seems so melancholy, besides obvious reasons. It sounds more like another task he has to accomplish. He didn’t die he was supposed to die with the AFO fight, and now the whole life he lived is over. The world has no use for him anymore. If not for Izuku, he’d have nothing left keeping him here. But because his boy made him promise to live, he’ll do so. Though it almost seems like he says those words with regret. “I’ve decided to live.” Not, “I’m going to live!” “Nothing can kill me!” “I won’t go down without a fight!” No. “I’ll live if I have to, only because you asked me to.” The man is obviously and outwardly depressed. He has so many things against him. No doubt has severe PTSD, anxiety, among others. Not to mention his own physical health. Every day hurts. It’s painful to be alive. Why would he torture himself if he doesn’t have to? For you, my boy. You’re the only thing keeping me here. The only light in my dark world.

He tries to help Izuku find out the previous holder’s quirks, to help his boy in any way he can now that he’s worthless, and goes days on end without sleep, running his body into the ground. He even forgets Christmas. Only to find that by giving the boy the same gift he had received, he may have just doomed him to an early death, among psychological torture (danger detection). (Granted, he really doesn’t know how everything works, and he’s afraid to talk to anyone about it). His boy could live only half a life.

It’s only been a few months since he retired, and society has fallen into shambles. People are blaming him. People are dying. He watches helplessly as his colleague fight his fight for him, and end up battered, bruised, crippled, dead. He students, his boy, battle the monster he should have killed. Children are bleeding. This shouldn’t happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is everything he worked for, everything he fought to protect, to build up, to inspire, is all for naught?! Did he live a foolish dream and doom the world? Was all the the friends he lost, tears he shed, the organs he destroyed, the pain he endures on a daily basis from the hole in his side, and the blood he continues to bleed every day, for nothing? The public, the ones he protected for so long, mourn his absence, but surely there are those among them who also blame him. The statue from his last fight in Kamino one that he never asked for was decimated in a mock of his catch phrase- the one that was supposed to give hope.

Now he can feel his own vestige speaking with Izuku in the OFA realm, even with out OFA in his own body anymore. His clock as nearly reached it’s limit, Nighteye’s prediction is due any day now. The only thing he wants is to see his boy smile at him, to give him some shred of hope. Yet the child remains unconscious, and Toshinori can’t even hold his hand from the bandages covering his arms. Will he still be able to fight? Is there any coming back from this now? Did I break him?

With all Toshinori has been through, I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen him just outright break down. Anyone, anyone, else should have crumbled under the pressure of holding up the world for 40 years alone. And instead of being able to pass it on to someone when he can no longer bear its weight, it simply falls to into the abyss. People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.

[holdyourwine]

Praise The Heavenly Goddess and Her Love.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ featuring Poseidon and Hades

YOUR FONDNESS, LORD POSEIDON ; masterlist

(.n) Divination is also the agent which brings about good relations between Gods, because it knows what aspects of love. With the words that helps the couple from Hades’ wise head, it is how their love started to appear.

“So, she just flew away to Demeter’s place as soon the news reached her ears?”

Silver strands of hair swayed following the direction of his head, glancing to the bored expression that etched upon his brother’s face. A small thud aired after Hades lets his frame fall atop of the cozy sofa, earning a frown from the sea God. Those ocean eyes of his move up from the pile of papers on his desk, gazing at his older brother’s strong presence. “Yes, so you may go.”

A deep chuckle grumbles under his breath, “Why so? I did come here to see my Little One, but I do have another Little One here, am I correct?”

His face scrunches in disgust as he notices what Hades referred to was he himself. Hours prior, the sea God was savoring the only time he secretly enjoys in his day ; being with that little Goddess who he demanded to stay in his manor longer than what the agreement with Morpheus and Hera said— with a reason that she still needs learning for she is still very mortal, though every souls who stands upon Olympus could say, how divine she already is and how wise she is as a half, within just 2 years.

Poseidon had to witness how the beam spreads in second within those cheeks of hers, gleaming orbs distracted from him upon the arrival of the Underworld couple in the Heaven, and the very courtesy she granted before those feet bring herself hastily to where the spring Goddess is ; she is very fond of these two, even in her early day of immortal, for her, Hades and Persephone are the closest deity she claims to have a human relationship with herself, since many Gods do not have much benevolence towards others— Poseidon, as in example.

“Out of curiosity, I may know her development, since Melinöe and Morpheus did talk about the work involved with her.” Says Hades, never grows tired of wasting his words for his dear brother.

“Ask her yourself. I did not remember anything.”

A squint in Hades’ eyes brings a slight discomfort to the sea God, as those piercing eyes of his glance to the opened luxurious box in an empty rack of his bookshelf, filled with hand-picked finest pearls of his ocean, messily rearranged in a gold thin chain as if someone tries to stringing it into a necklace. “Then, mind telling me about that feminine thing?”

Poseidon lets out a grunt, slamming a hand to the table as seconds prior he used it to let his face rest upon. It is clear that he does not want to answer, whilst he himself scolds his reckless act for not hiding the stuff, did not expect his brother to come in without any arrival announcement. “There is nothing.”

Hades nods to himself plenty of times, observing the room while his pointer finger taps upon the armrest. Though the words that left his brother’s lips are bold and stern, he himself can dive down to the look that Poseidon has each time Hades mentions the Goddess’ name. Not to bring only warmth to the sea God, the elder deity does have a peculiar sense of being affected by the way a love does change him.

For the ruler of the Underworld, the first 6 months after her ascension were not always filled with the tenderness of his fatherhood— instead what lies beneath is vigilance he showed in his mien before her. With his very brotherly instinct, and for eons he watches the God of the sea ; who has never lowered those eyes of his to any Goddesses, let alone a half-blooded one, it is plausible to aim that he is cautious with what awaits ahead. Does she serve to attract luster for herself? Does she desire the gold crown to be claimed as the one in his reign? What makes his little brother accept her?

O, darling Hades. With only 3 months of association, the very obviousness poured its wet realization to his own version of herself ; whilst his dearest wife— the spring Goddess, Persephone, does take the fascination upon her company around with twinkle within her eyes that speak, “Husband, if only I can wish to meet her before Lady Hera did and be the one who escorts her to this very stage.”

It is truly the power she has in her full consciousness ; what enchants any mortal to immortal lives to take a look with their adoration and astonishment. No one expected that her perfect facade managed to break down the most fearsome God alive— Poseidon himself.

“I found no mistake in being smitten, brother mine. Let alone denying what your heart already urges.”

He witnesses the growth of their chemistry, how the light shines brighter in her face when she encounters her loved one, how something equivalent with affection writes itself within his eyes each time he sees her, how the atmosphere goes dreamy and fluff with the two of them. There is no mistake, they are in love.

“What do you want, Hades?” The sea God seems to grow fatigued with his own brother’s fuss in his place ; while he puts down whatever engages him, he lets those cold blue eyes meet his other ones.

He shrugs his shoulders, “I see the stars shine within those cold blue of yours each time she is before.”

“What an ugly statement. Try again.” His sharp tongue throws a sarcasm which pulls a chuckle from Hades’ lips.

“My, for I certainly cannot say what greater blessing there can be for any man or God To have the right of heavenly Goddess and her love.” An amused glint is shown upon his eyes as Hades notices how his brother’s chiseled body grows tense with the mention of the sweet one who has dwelling inside his mind every day since the 2 years.

Those soft lips go in a thin-pursued line, eyelashes illuminating the softening look he tries to hide from Hades with his usual stern demeanor. “The love that belongs to the heavenly goddess is fair and fairer than any gold, hence those who are showered with the love revealed doing something graceful too.”

“I alone am already—“ “We all know it, Poseidon. You are becoming more humane around her, which is holding the grace in the art of living as a perfect God. Do take care of your own loneliness. Even the wisest king does have a caring hand of a woman who sincerely stays in a marriage.”

His jaw tightens as a form of response to his brother’s insolent sentences— but what holds him back? Is it because it came from the lips of the first one who gained his whole respect as his equal? Or is it also because what he said is true?

“What makes the heavenly love fair, since it compels the lover to take great care with regard to his own excellence and the beloved to do the same. All belong to that sweet goddess, when will you take it to be yours too?”

“You know nothing. I demand you to stop telling me what to do for I am the one who has the right to give myself an order.” Poseidon throws a menace in his gaze, yet the tone that wraps his voice is evident for anyone who hears it, that he just is protecting his pride.

“Said the little brother to his older brother who has been married for eons, having the greatest love with his only eternal flower that blooms in my dead atmosphere?” A frustrated sigh leaves his lips as he gets up from the cozy sofa, walking closer to where his brother sits

Hades puts a gentle smile upon his face, though Poseidon can not witness it for he is dismissing his sight from him, which brings the God of the Underworld a giddy feeling of seeing the sea God being his little brother. “Do not ever waste the time, Poseidon. never thinks of you procrastinating on claiming her heart before her light leaves your world. let it surge like your sea to your veins.”

Before Poseidon can slam whatever force he has within his fist or summon his trident, the elder God gives a soft pat upon his fluffy blond head before disappearing to wherever the God of the sea does not know, not even like he wants to think about it too.

He lets his body fall to the backrest of his chair, eyelids flutter close to conceal the sapphire eyes. It is only a half of the day, yet his brother’s visit did waste his energy. But what a shame, Poseidon finds himself recalling what Hades had said to him, connecting the dots by the end he meets her name echoes within his head. Indeed, she is a goddess. Each sway of her legs, the universe yields to her. Her wise wings which cradle the world, not even he realizes that she cradles him too.

If only Hades did not mention how he might lose her at any time, Poseidon would not let his head full of many things related to her. He remembers how the sun always beams upon her cheeks ever since they first met and until this very day, and how it grows sweeter and delicate with her loving touch, that speaks to him, speaks of her love. How silly, he himself declared God needs no companions as for he might not understand what is so great from being in love, since the matrimonies around him are filled with treason that brings only pain.

Or maybe, if it is as strong as her pleasurable love and with the high tenet I have for living without betrayal, it will not be a really sorrowful union. What did I think?

What a tiring coversation— no, he really wants her. And it does help to encourage him.

***

“Oh? You are finished with her?”

Pulling out one of his hands from his pocket, Hades waves his hand playfully in the air as soon as the sight of a gleaming Goddess enters his range. The satin fabric of her simple dress flows as her legs bring her hastily to him, with a smile full of blithesome she puts in her face to greet the God.

“Yes! I remembered I have not said anything to Lord Poseidon but ran away hours ago, and I feel bad.” A soft chuckle leaves her lips as she tiptoes her feet many times to cease the flooding feeling inside ulon seeing whom she respects after Poseidon, for a month did not meet him due to the business.

He bends his body down, close enough to make her shoves her head back with a funny expression ; a mix of embarrassment and disgust. “So you neglected my wife, hmm? What a bad kid.”

She hurriedly puts her hands atop of his shoulders, forgetting the small gap between them as the panic rushes her countenance. “It is not like that! We sure did spend a good amount of time with tea and sweets, though Lady Persephone wanted me to stay a little longer, but I do think I have to give Lady Demeter her time with her daughter.”

A laugh breaks under his breath as he lets his hand fall upon her head, giving it a soft stroke while he straightens himself. “Sure, sure. Papa knows what my ladies think. So, I will take my part now?”

Hades offers his arm to the younger deity, insisting her to come with him for a talk— which she gladly accepts since she knows the sea God will be fine with or without her presence around, oh, he may not care at all about her though. As she wraps her arm around his, her small giggle splits the air. “Yes, the special time for a special God.”

A sweet and full of joy coo comes from Hades whilst he dramatically lets his other hand clenched around his left chest. The walk is not so long, though it looks like the God who escorts her, it is her who actually points the direction to her private chamber ; not the bedroom, but another room for her to paint, to sculpt statues, and play instruments. It is specially made for the Goddess, under the demand of the owner of this manor himself— Poseidon, as he wants her to feel comfortable in working here.

The smell of hyacinth, and the mildness of vanilla ; the usual scent that trails her body wherever those feets wander shrouds his lungs, with the hint of jasmine essential oil on the table for stuff, acrylic paint fumes and clay— not so strong and intoxicating. The room is in a medium size, with many finished to half finished paintings of the sea under any skies and colours, the soft touches from any subtle silk that hugs the Divine's body, and the majestic within the sea that he notices to be the one God deserves her art ; Poseidon. In the middle, a fancy sofa stands still with a small table that is decorated with a vase of white roses, which she kindly welcomes him to sit above.

“Little one, is there something you want to tell me?”

With an usual amused grin, Hades watches the younger deity pour an exquisite teapot to two teacups, revealing a brown clear liquid that has a mild smell of jasmine. A confused mien showed within her face as she let her body rest upon the soft cushion of the sofa in front of him. “As in what?”

Sipping the sweet tea for a moment, he lets the taste explode on his tongue with its warmth. “Hmm, about my brother? Do you need any help?”

As for her, any emotions can be shown clearly upon her face ; and this time, the shock and embarrassment show. Not very dumb, she knows what the God meant with his brother, and where this conversation leads. “No … ? Why is it about Lord Poseidon?”

A deep chuckles grumbles in his chest as he finds it is enticing to see how the little Goddess tries so hard to conceal whatever she has inside from him, when in fact it is obvious how the butterflies break free from her lower tummy whenever their skins colliding in a small form of physical touch, or when those blue eyes find themselves in her eyes.

“Shan’t you keep your feelings to yourself?”

Teeth against her lower lip, she calms her breath before those orbs glance back to his other ones with wavering sparkles. “He is not someone worthy for me, it is what it is.”

Oh, Hades tries back a snort upon the funny statement— or at least for his ears. If only she knows what he can see through his little brother. “No one deserves to say such a thing, sweet. I am baffled now, why do you two keep denying it?”

“Because he will not want me, and I do not want to get hurt!”

The demi-Goddess seems to not recognize the words you two as she unconsciously cries out with the frustration she tries to suppress all these years with her pure devotion solely for him. “It is love who is concerned with the good and finds fulfillment in it in the company of temperance and justice, whether in the earth or here amongst the gods.”

With the guilt starts eating her up ; for the insolent act, she finds no harm within Hades’ face instead a care that speaks so much. “And with the fulfillment and what I have for him, which I am confident enough to say to be the fairest sense of adoration, it is enough to not desire his heart to be mine.”

As I thought, what comes is the greater blessing from heavenly Goddess and her love. “For if, instead of gratifying your love with only existing in the same divinity equal with Goddesses, as he does claim to be, why not honor both you and his heart?”

The silence pours a cold water all over her sense, for how the astonishment shines within her visage— Hades finds it as a sweet scene inside his head ; how he feels a sense of proud over his apathetic brother, who now has the greatest love and lets any warmth she can give surge into his marble heart, not to mention her true nature where the red that was running through her veins prior. To how such a Divine can hold a majestic loyalty for years, never lets the fatigue eat her, and shower The Poseidon with the given clarity in her love.

“Do speak your heart, little one. For what he has you shall know it if you’re willing to be open first.”

“What if it does not go the way we hoped it …”

The faint voice sounds holding a concealed despair within, as those small hands clench the fabric of her dress. She does not know, though with all the affection she has and the many days she spent with Poseidon— never did she be brave enough to say that the sea God returns her feelings. To even when Poseidon is well known to shove people away from his gate, putting thick and tall wall around, but how he was willing to sleep in her chamber, listening to her worries, or how he often offers his arm to escort her in a hall full of Divines, as if she is his consort. She only thinks it is a courtesy he shows to one who stays loyal to him.

Afterall, he is Poseidon. A hard God to approach and crack. No one is to blame if the Goddess thinks that way.

Hades gets up, doing the same thing he did to his brother ; patting her crown softly before he walks his feet around the room to appreciate the arts. “Trust me, as his brother.”

A puff of breath leaves her lips as she chooses to give up, accepting the advice he gave her as she follows his steps. The king of the Underworld has his fingers upon his chin as his eyes wander to a painting that does attract his attention ; somehow it speaks Poseidon, with the light blue sea water that glimmers under the sun, which is slightly disguised beneath dark clouds, and the rest of the sea seems dark for its unthinkable depth. “You do love him so much, too much, little one.”

She giggles in flattery as she stands beside him, ready to give him a guide to her small gallery. “And is it a bad thing for being too much?”

Hades tilts his head to her direction, a gentle smile is displayed upon his strong, handsome face. He feels proud of her to finally admit what her heart desires, to show it with confidence lies in it.

“Never in heavenly love.”

[] nesi’s note : AHHH IT FEELS NICE TO POST AGAIN!! i hope you all enjoy this hihi btw for references i read plato’s symposium lmaoo so yeah if you feel like reading his mind, yes you are <3

[gar-trek]

please share what you have to say about food cubes!!

I was feeling a little apprehensive about releasing the TOS Food Document™ because it is so damn long…. But since you asked anon

DISCLAIMER:

This is focused solely on food as it appears in the original series. Whatever explanation of food synthesizer/replicator that may come in later series does to apply here. I am also not a Star Trek expert. I’m sure there is some super fan out there who knows everything there is to know about food in TOS, but that person is not me. This is just my thoughts as I’ve observed instances where food is shown or mentioned in TOS. If my thought process is flawed, or I make some claims that don’t really make sense, I am sorry. The food canon is very complicated and vague, so this is me just trying my best to make sense of it. I’d also like to mention I did not explicitly cover the meal scene in What Are Little Girls Made Of? Or the ice cream scene from And The Children Shall Lead, but I do make reference to them. I’m sure there are other food scenes I didn’t get to cover here, so if I’m missing a few pieces, I’m sorry.

Anyway… let’s get into it!

The original series, food, and other things that keep me up at night

I don’t care about continuity or plot holes in Star Trek: The Original Series, and if I did, I think the show would become rather unwatchable. It’s not about what happens to get us from plot point A to B, but more important that we do get there (ie, who cares how or why Spock’s brain has been removed from his body, it’s more important that we do get it back inside).

This being said, there is one aspect to TOS that baffles me to no end, and its something I just cannot overlook: the food. Food, the entire concept of it as it appears in TOS haunts me. Each time they show or mention food it makes less and less sense. It’s a never-ending nightmare and I spend every day trying to understand what goes on in the Enterprise Cafeteria. Today I would like to explore a couple food instances on TOS, and hopefully make a little sense of what is happening.

The first chilling incident: The Man Trap (S1E2) - Rand is a thief

In this episode, we see Yeoman Rand on her way to deliver Sulu his meal. She is carrying a tray of colored food cubes (which is what I will be referring to them as here, because there is no official name) and what we can assume to be some kind of alien variant of celery (earth celery with some red crap stuck on top). While waiting for the turbo lift, Rand eats one of the celery sticks intended for Sulu. My question is why. Like literally why does this happen. Sulu never mentions it (maybe he doesn’t notice). She never mentions it to him, which means we can assume she doesn’t want him to know. So why is Rand stealing food? Does she not get enough to eat? Is the limits for how much you get to eat on the Enterprise that strict you need to turn to thievery to get a proper meal? and if that the case, she’s shorting Sulu on his allotted food. In this same scene, we see Ensign Green (who is really a salt-sucking monster) make a grab for the tray as if he too is going to steal Sulu’d food. However, Rand slaps his hand away and asks “who do you think you are?”, a hypocritical statement considering Rand is also in the act of stealing food. So Rand, I must pose the same question to you. This scene has no resolution, so any interpretation is up to the viewer. Whether you think Rand's actions make her a girlboss or a thief, is up to you, however, one thing is undeniably true: Rand eats food off other people's plates.

Other food-related things of note in this episode is that Sulu sprinkles salt on the celery sticks. This means they are either bland or that's just his personal taste. Also, when Rand gives him his tray, he says “may the great bird of the galaxy bless your planet” and this has nothing really to do with food, I just thought it was kind of badass.

(Sulu’s food tray with 3 celery instead of 4 because Rand ate one)  

Incident two: Charlie X (S1E3) - synthetic meatloaf

In Charlie X, we see Captain Kirk make this comment in passing:

“Today on earth it is Thanksgiving, if the crew has to eat synthetic meatloaf I want it to look like turkey.”

This statement leaves us with a couple undeniable truths:

1. Meatloaf is a meal option on the Enterprise.

2. It is synthetic, meaning the meatloaf may not contain any meat at all.

3. It is not shaped like turkey, but it is possible to do so.

if the meatloaf served on the Enterprise is synthetic, then it very well could be made out of the same stuff the colored food cubes are made out of. Also, (and this is pure speculation so take it with a grain of salt) since we never hear anyone refer to the colored food cubes by name, they could literally be the “synthetic meatloaf” that Kirk is referring to here. In this case, the term synthetic meatloaf would not mean a synthetic version of the popular American dish meatloaf but instead loafs of synthetic meat. Since we do not know exactly what synthetic meat looks like, it very well could be brightly colored cubes.

In either case, Kirk is asking them to turn synthetic food from one shape to another. We understand this is possible through the food synthesizer, however, if all the food they eat on the Enterprise is synthetic anyway, then why did Kirk specifically mention synthetic meatloaf in the shape of turkey? would the turkey not instead be made out of synthetic turkey? why must the synthetic turkey be made specifically out of meatloaf? isn’t every single food that comes out of the food synthesizer made out of the same thing? It would have made more sense for Kirk to say “it's thanksgiving so can you made the food synthesizers produce turnkey?”. However, Kirk is like, a really cool guy, so it is possible that the meatloaf comment is just a fun joke. Either way, we know that synthetic meatloaf is a standard menu item on the enterprise, yet we have never seen anyone consume it.

Incident 3: The Corbomite Maneuver (S1E11) - Green leaves

In this episode, Kirk goes in for a physical, and Doctor McCoy reports that the captain is 2 pounds overweight. In response to this, the Doctor changes the captain's dietary card to help him lose a little wight (🙄). We later see the captain served a “dietary salad” in place of his usual meals. The existence of dietary salad is interesting for many reasons. Most importantly, we understand that dietary salad is somehow better for you than what is usually served on the Enterprise. It most likely has a lower caloric intake than say, colored food cubes. However, as discussed before, most if not all the food on the Enterprise is synthetic. If the food is created, and not naturally made, then one can assume its caloric value can be controlled. Would it not be possible to make a lower-calorie version of colored food cubes? one would assume that the cubes are made to have the perfect amount of nutrients to satisfy yet keep humans a healthy weight if they are in fact a form of synthetic man-made food. How would the captain overeat, if portions are pre-determined by dietary cards? Is Kirk somehow going rouge and consuming food that is not created by the food synthesizer (the captain's secret cookie stockpile??).

The existence of this salad also begs another question: is it synthetic as well, or are they growing fresh salad on the Enterprise? We do know that they are able to grow things on the ship, however, there has never been any discussion of growing crops specifically for consumption. If this is the case though, it may explain why we often see crew members eating celery sticks. Perhaps things like celery sticks and dietary salads are grown on the Enterprise, but all other food is synthetically created. In which case, who’s job is it to harvest food and prepare it for meals? Did Rand have to put that dietary salad together all on her own?

One more interesting point about the Salad: When Kirk first receives it, he asks

“what in the devil is this? Green leaves?”

which prompts Rand to explain that it’s a salad. It is very possible that Kirk genuinely has no idea what a salad is. He may have never had one, nor heard of the food in his entire life. Later we see him eat the salad with his hands, which further proves the point that captain kirk doesn't know what salad is. Why captain Kirk would somehow have no knowledge of salad is up to speculation.

Incident 4: The conscience of the king (S1E14) - Cry over spilled milk 

In this episode, Lieutenant Riley is served colored food cubes and a glass of what appears to be milk. There isn’t much of significance here, other than the fact we know it is possible to get a glass of milk with your meal on the Enterprise. Unlike Sulu, Riley doesn’t have any celery sticks but seems to have a larger serving of colored food cubes as compensation. We also learn that milk is served in a large glass, something that seems very impractical on a starship.

Riley proves my point moments later when he spills milk on a control panel and shatters the glass. This begs the question, who is going to clean that up?

Incident 5: Tomorrow is Yesterday (S1E20) - Chicken noodle soup

In this episode, the Enterprise accidentally beams a 60′s army man abroad their ship (for the second time). This random chad ensign asks the man if he’s hungry because he’s a troll I guess and he wanted to flex their cool future food machine. The army captain guy is like sure, I could go for some chicken soup right now (a very natural response to being beamed onto a spaceship for the first time). Chad ensign has like three cards in front of him, and I guess one of them just happens to be chicken soup because he puts it in the machine and the soup appears. Grant it, we never actually get to see the soup with out own eyes, but the army captain does seem to be pretty convinced that it is chicken soup just by the smell. This opens up a couple possibilities:

-The food synthesizer can make almost anything you want, and the card is maybe like a very broad category, like a dinner card, and when you put it in you can pick any dinner food you’d like.

or

-The food synthesizer can only make what is specific to each card, and the ensign just got extremely lucky and happened to have a card that was the exact food the army captain wanted.

More evidence, which we will go over later, points more towards the theory that one card is equal to one specific type of food. In this case, it is unclear how the synthesizer food cards are distributed, or how you get your pick of what food you would like. It is also more likely that options would be limited. This does make sense, however, it makes this scene very confusing, as, as I’ve pointed out, the ensign had a very limited number of cards, but exactly what the captain had asked for. Pure luck? what mind game was that Chad ensign trying to play with the poor man who was abducted from earth... we will never know.

One more very interesting thing is established here: The transporter room has a food synthesizer. Why this is is purely up to speculation. In my mind, having a food synthesizer in the transporter room would be like having a full kitchen where you park your car. Seems pretty useless, but maybe the guys in the transporter room requested easy access to snacks? Why the transporter room would get this special privilege is again, up to speculation.

Incident 6: Space Seed (S1E23) - Dinner with Khan

In Space Seed a special dinner is put together to welcome Khan onto the Enterprise. We see that they are being served colored food cubes and celery sticks. Doctor McCoy walks into the dining room and comments about how the display is “very impressive”. However, this seems like a very unusual comment considering we are shown the only food we have ever seen consumed on the Enterprise. What exactly makes this food “impressive” as compared to other celery sticks and colored food cubes? Is there some way to tell this particular food is better that we don’t know about, but is obvious to everyone on the Enterprise?

There is also a chance that Doctor McCoy is just very easily impressed with food, and upon seeing any food spread he is likely to comment in wonder. Note the way Scotty is looking at McCoy. His face is a mixture of confusion, judgment, and pity. Perhaps Scotty is thinking to himself “bruh, it’s literally just colored food cubes chill out man,”. There is no explanation as to why Scotty is giving McCoy such a look, so this very well could be the case. Even though it is a silly explanation, I don’t think it should be ruled out that one of McCoy’s personality traits is being overly excited about food of any kind.  

Incident 7: Journey to Babel (S2E10) Party food

Much like in Space Seed, in this episode, we get to see a meal put together for a special occasion. All the diplomates are getting down at a mixer where a spread of food has been provided. These snacks seem very similar to colored food cubes, however I do think they differ. They may be the same type of food, but different in some way. In which case colored food cubes is an overarching category of food, and here we see two different types. The smaller more brightly colored cubes can be put in drinks, though if this is what you are supposed to do with them, or just the preference of that one alien species I do not know. Though I must point out, we have seen colored food cubes served in brown sauce in What are Little Girls Made Of? (S1E8) so it is not completely unheard of to have your colored food cubes served soggy.

The other type of colored food cubes we see are a lot larger and more pair shaped (in reality, they probably were just skinned pairs dipped in food coloring, but for this essay, it’s important that we completely ignore the fact there is another life outside of Star Trek). Now to me, these are very interesting, because the dull color and apparent texture are a lit more similar to standard colored food cubes we have seen thus far. I would even go o far to say that this is the same exact food, just sans the cubed shape. So really, standard colored food cubes are just the cubed version of whatever this food is. This, again, is just speculation, but it does point us to the fact that colored food cubes are not naturally cubed (I’m going somewhere with this is promise)

Incident 8: The Trouble With Tribbles (S2E15) The trouble with Chicken sandwichs

Here we see Kirk attempting to order a chicken sandwich and coffee. What he gets instead is a plate full of tribbles,  hilarity ensues. I think this scene is interesting because we can add to our list of food items that are on the menu at the enterprise cafeteria: chicken sandwich. However, this is another food item we do not see. There is no way of knowing if the Enterprise's version of a chicken sandwich is what we would imagine a chicken sandwich to be. Much like the meatloaf and the soup, because we do not see it, there is no way of knowing if the food exists in the way that we as 21st-century people understand it. The events of TOS take place more than 200 years in our future, so to speculate that food could change a lot during that time isn’t a stretch. I don’t know, just some food for thought (lol)

Incident 9: By Any Other Name (S2E22) Living deliciously

In this episode, an alien taking the form of a human enjoys some colored food cubes. He makes a comment about how they are good they are while enthusiastically eating his food. This is a very important moment because it tells us that colored food cubes do taste good. In fact, they taste really good. Just before he eats, the alien comments on how humans could just take pills that give them all their nutrient needs and give up food completely (think the Jetsons cartoon). On the Enterprise, they do not eat just to live, but because they enjoy their food as well. This tells us that colored food cubes are at the very least, worth eating, and at the best, very delicious.

One more interesting thing: Spock is eating some kind of soup while everyone else enjoys colored food cubes. This could be a Vulcan preference, however, we know that Spock is vegetarian. This could be alluding to the fact that Colored Food Cubes are made out of meat.

Conclusion:

Yes, I asked a lot more questions than I answered. There are some things that make absolutely no sense to me, primarily, the food synthesizer and diet cards. Some evidence points to the fact that the food synthesizer can make practically anything (see Tomorrow is Yesterday, And the Children Shall Lead). However, one dietary card is equal to one specific food, which would mean they would have to produce a lot of these dietary cards if there is many meal options. How these cards are distributed, and what their limitations are, we do not know. And although we do not know the limits of what the food synthesizer can create, we do know these food have been served on the enterprise at least at one point:

-colored food cubes (variety)

-celery

-synthetic meatloaf

-synthetic turkey (Thanksgiving Special)

-Dietary Salad

-Milk

-Chicken Soup

-Chicken Sandwich

-Mystery Soup

-Ice cream (variety of flavors)

All of this food (except for maybe the dietary salad and celery) are synoptically created, so what they are actually made up of, I cannot say.

And finally, I would like to make a point about the colored food cubes. I think upon first inspection one would assume colored food cubes is a dish created specifically for space travel (think the food created for modern-day astronauts to consume in space). However, we learned that there is possibly a variety of colored food cube dishes. Since there is such a wide variety of food on the Enterprise, why would they also need to create a food specifically for space travel? I think that colored food cubes are actually a common dish, not intended specifically for space travel. Perhaps it was an alien food that got popular on earth, maybe it was a dish developed later in Earth's history by humans. I can only speculate, but I do think it is more than just boring space food. Everyone seems to have a preference for it, so I think it’s a dish you can eat over and over again and not get sick of. What colored food cubes taste like is completely up to speculation, but I would assume they are a savory food, considering we often see people enjoying them for their main meal.

I still have more to say, but for the sake of everyone, I’ll end it there. This was a lot of thought dumping, so if some of the things I said made no sense at all, I’m sorry. I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on TOS food! please share with me what you think colored food cubes would taste like :)

[csuitebitches]

On being disciplined

Discipline can be really, really hard.

At some point of time, we all know that it’s not motivation that helps us achieve goals, but discipline.

Being disciplined can be exhausting. It can feel like everyday is the same day, and it can be scary for some people.

Self help books can often be annoying because they all repeat the same content more or less, just packaged differently.

So here are some easy steps to actually being disciplined.

1. Understand that discipline comes from accomplishing small tasks.

Here’s a simple formula:

Doing a task consistently = executing that task properly = experience in that task grows = results in confidence in doing that particular task

What’s something that you can do in practically your sleep? It could be something as small as making your bed (because you have practice!), baking a certain dessert that all your friends love (practice!), being able to understand how mitosis works (biology homework- practice!).

Everything comes from practice.

You can read as many books as you like, attend as many self-help conferences, but if you don’t put in the work, it’s money wasted.

2. So what kind of small tasks am I talking about to increase your discipline?

Here are some examples:

You really want to nap for 20 minutes. So you set your alarm, and you sleep. 20 minutes later, the alarm goes off.

Do you wake up? Or do you snooze for another 20?

Waking up after the first alarm goes off requires discipline. Sheer willpower.

Nail this step first.

By nailing just the art of waking of waking up at the time you were supposed to, you may be grumpy for a minute but you’ve done it! You battled the feelings of being lazy and sleeping in - and now you’re going to probably have a better day.

3. Outline 3-5 tasks that you think you need to do every single day in order to achieve what you want.

Here’s an example of mine:

My Goals:

To have the mornings to do my tasks, as opposed to sleeping in

To be able to learn something new everyday

To keep my brain and body active

To be aware of what’s going on in the world

This translates to my 5 tasks:

Waking up at 7 am

Working out

Reading the news

Playing brain games on my phone that help increase your thinking, creativity and intelligence (I use Elevate)

Reading 3 pages of a book

For me, I’m someone who loves seeing progress being measured. So I maintain a habit tracker.

This method may not work for everyone, but I get happy when I can tick those 5 boxes of my list every night.

4. Here’s how you set the correct goals:

How exactly do you come with those 3-5 tasks?

Make sure they’re relatively easy.

Reading 3 pages of a book, for example, is quite easy. It takes me around 5 minutes to do that.

Surely I can spend 5 minutes of my day to read just 3 pages?

Make sure that they’re attainable and you have a choice in that task.

If you don’t exercise, but you want to start, don’t start heavy. Especially if you’re working out by yourself.

“I’ll do a 90 minute workout today!” Turns to “God, I hate this, I hate working out, I’m never doing it again.”

So keep it attainable, even if you feel like you can do more.

Aim for working out 30 minutes a day for 2 weeks.

30 minutes a day, your choice of work out. Human beings love choice. We love choosing what to do. So give yourself the freedom to choose what you want to do.

Then increase that to 45 minutes for 3 weeks.

Then increase that again, if you want to, and if you feel comfortable.

Make sure it’s something you can do everyday for some time.

For example, reading the news is a daily ritual. I need to know what’s happening in the world. My work requires me to.

I can’t read the news weekly or monthly - it’s something that has to be done everyday.

So regardless of the type of day I’m having, this is something I need to do and is doable.

I can read the news on the train. On the bus. On the toilet. While I eat something.

It’s doable everywhere.

Obviously, it doesn’t apply to all your goals - you can’t workout on a train or in the classroom - but try to keep majority of your goals somewhat portable.

[shingia]

hopefullyy this inspires u to write,,, can i request hc's of the boys getting jealous seeing their s/o work well with another person on a team/club? like good chemistry with a dance partner for example! (u can choose who u write but can it include iwa!!) <33

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS SEEING YOU WORK WELL WITH ANOTHER PERSON ✗

a/n : kdjfkdjdkdj i love this request omg ty ! i did half hc/half scenarios bc i thought the request fitted this format <3

-> iwaizumi, osamu, kuroo, suna, tsukishima

-> warnings : kuroo’s a bit suggestive (tbh i don’t know about the rest. it’s just... kinda hot? (tsukki’s only fluff tho<3))

-> reblogs are >>>>

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s jealousy was practically non existent until he actually saw you interact with your partner

• don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves your smile - but he especially loves to be the one who caused it

• he tends to get physically very protective of you, so expect his arm to stay wrapped around your shoulders most of the time. because to him it’s the easiest way to show the world (but especially your partner) that you’re his

• he also not-so-subtly offers you to wear his clothes on days when you have practice. and he secretly hopes that someone will ask you who they belong to...

« it’s cold outside. you should wear this ». iwa’s low and unannounced voice makes you turn around in surprise. leaned against the bathroom’s doorframe, he’s holding your favorite jacket in his hand - the one with his name written on the back, and you suspect that this might not be a coincidence... with a chuckle, you agree to put it on, noticing the proud spark in his eyes. « you know, i’m pretty sure everyone already knows i’m dating you » you tease him with a wink, all while also admiring the way his name takes up the whole width of your back. « oh yeah ? » he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leans forward to rest his hands on the sink behind you. trapped between his outstretched arms, you watch his smirk grow just a little bit bigger as he lets out, very quietly, « well this is just a reminder... it better be the last ». his green eyes locked with yours could almost make you forget about his arm snaking around your waist at a painfully slow pace. almost.

— OSAMU

• look, he’s very happy for you. no doubt about it. but he’s so used to see people fawn over his brother that he can’t help but get a little protective from time to time

• since gifts are his #1 love language, he might buy you a workout-friendly piece of jewelry that you can wear during your practice

• he also insists on dropping you off and picking you up as often as his busy schedule allows it. especially since he learned that your partner was willing to give you a ride home...

• it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, obviously. he just doesn’t trust them yet

• and that’s why his kisses - and pda in general - are a bit more « intense » than usual

leg bouncing up and down, osamu is (very) anxiously for your conversation with your teammate to end. because after watching the entirety of your practice, he needs a little reminder that you two also have incredible chemistry together... a better one, even. so as soon as he sees you wave your teammate goodbye, he stands up straight, arms open just wide enough to welcome you against his chest. but instead of the chaste kiss you expected to get, you’re actually greeted by his left hand grabbing your sides while his right meets your lower back. disconcerted, you don’t even have time to say a word that his mouth crashes onto yours so eagerly that you have to lean back a few inches. « wh-what was that for ? » you pant as soon as his warm lips have left yours. « nothing. i love ya, that’s all » he smiles innocently, glad that you didn’t notice the cocky look he just gave your teammate who witnessed everything from afar... exactly as planned.

— KUROO

• passive agressive™️

• he would insist on properly meeting your partner but oh god they better brace themselves,,,

• because kuroo’s the kind of boyfriend that will shake their hand hard enough to make them yelp, all while having an angelic smile plastered on his face

• oh and you can forget being called by your name : he’s going to demonstrate the entire variety of nicknames he has for you. he might even come up with new ones just because he’s feeling « inspired »

• every single thing he says to your partner has to be a reminder that you two are dating. like « oh yeah they told me about this yesterday.. during our date ». just to make sure that there’s no misunderstanding.

« well... speak of the devil », kuroo hears you chuckle, your voice almost drowned out by his heavy breathing. he’s obviously planing on apologizing for being late... but not now. there’s something he wants to do first. still very aware of your partner’s presence right in front of you, he decides to securely yet eagerly wrap his arms around your waist before spinning you around proudly. « so... you guys were talking about me ? » he asks, glad to know that he’s the reason behind your giggles. « we were, actually » you answer a bit more seriously as he finally puts you down, still keeping both his hands on your waist. « well, i am your boyfriend after all... » he starts, interrupting himself to place a loud peck on your jawline. the only thing you can think is about is how awful this situation must be for your partner... kuroo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered at all, as shown by the way one of his hands discreetly makes its way under the fabric of your t-shirt to rest directly on your skin. « hands off, kuroo » you order him with a slap on the back of his hand. an offended gasp leaves his lips, yet he complies reluctantly, thinking that your partner probably already knows everything that needs to be known about him.

— SUNA

• he doesn’t really mind it... as long as you’re willing to cuddle once you get back from practice. if you’re not, then he’s gonna start to worry

• because cuddling is probably his favorite ‘boyfriend privilege’ and he doesn’t want it to be taken away from him

• his schedule is pretty tight so he might not be able to attend any of your practices, but he asks you to record it as much as you possibly can so that he can watch the videos with you afterwards

• and seeing how smoothly you and your partner move together definitely doesn’t help with his worrying

it’s been thirty minutes now, and suna’s still not done watching the videos you took today. he loves to share these moments with you, snuggled up against each other the bed ; but most importantly, he has someone to keep his eye on... « babe- are you 100% sure that this was part of the choreography? » he suddenly speaks up, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. you quirk a curious eyebrow, more surprised by his unusually suspicious tone rather than by the question itself. « oh, the hand on my waist ? yes, rin. it was ». at your words, his lips press into a thin line, he’s obviously far from being convinced. but you know your boyfriend well and you’re quick to reassure him : « you know, his hand might have been on my waist but you’re the one laying in my bed right now ». the frown on his face disappears almost immediately - much faster than you would’ve thought, replaced by a much more confident expression as his hands start to gently stroke your sides up and down. « mmh, i guess you’re right.... i mean, at the end of the day, only i get to have ‘all of this’ for myself » he smirks, playfully eyeing you up and down until he can’t resist the temptation of your slightly parted lips anymore.

— TSUKISHIMA

• tsukki’s not jealous, he’s just... well.. cautious. or at least that’s what he tells you

• but, deep down, he knows that simple cautiousness wouldn’t make spend his days and nights stressing about this new partner of yours...

• so, after a few weeks, his impassible facade starts to crumble a little bit. nothing too extreme, but just enough to let your partner know that you’re taken.

• and he knows he doesn’t need to do much : one of his signature scornful looks is more than enough. especially when he’s staring at your partner dead in the eyes while you’re greeting him with a hug and a kiss after your practice

« tsukishima kei, i’m waiting for an explanation ». with a sigh, your boyfriend drops his book on the table, turning his chair around to face you. « i don’t have one, i already told you. you told me to introduce myself, and i did. end of story ». you both know that tsukki did not just ‘introduce himself’ like any other human being would have done. and that’s precisely what you’re trying to make him admit - because your partner looked genuinely scared during practice today. « wha- no, i didn’t look down on him. it’s not my fault he’s so short... » he mumbles under his breath, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with you. but you know that only a slight tilt of his chin upwards is enough to make his eyes lock with yours - and that this is enough to have him admit anything. « you’re jealous, kei. and it’s painfully obvious by the way... » you smirk - but this smirk disappears in a split second as he slowly gets up from his chair, towering over you like he usually does. « ok, maybe i am. but i just wanted to make sure that he knew his place. and especially mine » he finally admits, his lips spreading in a scornful smirk that would be terrifying if his eyes weren’t filled with the infinite tenderness he has always felt for you.

✔️taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @mochi-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half-Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 2!

Part 1 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

Okay, They’re Your Cousins but You’re Not Sure How They’re Related to You...

(Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke)

(It’s mostly Luke)

Barbs likes smol Lucifer. Smol Lucifer likes Barbs. They bake together with Luke. MC nearly set the kitchen on fire. MC needed to learn to cook.

MC is forever delegated to mixing duty because they refuse to admit that they don’t know how to work the oven.

Simeon is the one telling MC embarrassing stories about Lucifer and the rest of the Student Council from when they were all angels. Lucifer never hated Simeon more than when he found out that Simeon told MC about how hard Lucifer cried when he got to hold baby Mammon for the first time. MC was sworn to secrecy.

Well... sworn to secrecy, but if Uncle Mammon just happened to find out through a series of coincidences it wouldn’t be MC’s fault, right?

Simeon also tried to help teach MC to fly... but he kept distracting them with stories about Lucifer and Michael learning to fly.

“So my father was even WORSE than he told me he was?!”

“Yes, he actually challenged Michael and Raphael to a race at one point. Lucifer ended up slamming directly into a wall because he didn’t know how to stop.”

“SIMEON!”

Solomon was absolutely fascinated with MC. How did their half demon half human nature affect their reaction to certain spells and potions? Do half demons have more or less magical strength than normal demons? Can half demons make pacts with humans? Wait- Lucifer why are you taking MC away they were talking- Lucifer!

Immortal troll needs to troll. MC is the unwitting victim of many of Solomon’s shenanigans.

“Why must I speak in rhymes?! This is the end of times!”

“MC, just stop talking.”

“Father, I don’t mean to be a bother but-”

“So the rhyming spell works the same on half demons... interesting...”

“Solomon...”

“I’m leaving, Lucifer. I’m leaving!”

Aw! Two kids in the Devildom! They were fast friends. Sure, Luke was a little annoying and MC was a bit of a dick, but their mutual smallness and desire to impress their parental figures brought them together.

“Michael’s just so cool and amazing! The way he flies, the way he commands everyone... I want to be just like him someday!”

“Is that why you’re making a cake?”

“Michael has a sweet tooth, and I want to impress him.”

“I wonder if Lucifer likes sweets...”

“Why would you want to give HIM sweets?”

MC just gave Luke a toothy grin and started making the dough for the cake.

Remember back in Lucifer’s section where I said MC would keep their lineage a secret to freak people out? Yeah... they kept it from Luke. At first it was a joke! They were going to tell him! They just uh... it got really awkward. They planned on revealing it to Luke right after they learned how to properly fly so they could swoop in, pick their angel buddy up and zip the two of them to school. It’d freak Luke out at first, but it was meant to be funny! MC would have even sung the song from Aladdin! It um... didn’t turn out that way.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” MC growled at the lesser demons that were crowding Luke.

“O-oh... uh... nuh-nothing...” a few of the demons backed off, mumbling a few harried apologies to MC as they scurried away. The remaining demons seemed a tad more... hmm... they say there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

“M-MC! You can’t fight demons! I’m an angel I-I c-can...” Luke sniffled, but tried his best to step in front of MC.

“Oh please, the little half-breed and the lowest ranked angel are going to put up a fight?” One of the demons jeered, a few of the remaining demons joined in.

MC’s eyes narrowed, their glare as cold as the worst winter storm. “I’m going to tell you once, and once only,”

Their wings sprouted from their back, horns now fully grown and on display, teeth sharper and glistening in the light. Hm, it seemed half demons could make their eyes glow too, how delightful.

MC gave the other demons a sweet smile, it would have been comforting if it weren’t for the amount of teeth they were showing off. They lazily placed their hand on Luke’s head and lightly moved him out of the way.

“Leave, or I will make you regret ever crossing us exchange students.” MC’s carefree smile couldn’t mask the malice that coated every single word that left their lips. “Run along now, you’re not needed here.”

The demon that had started the taunts stiffened, he looked from MC, to Luke, to the other demons, before scoffing and shaking his head. “Whatever, the two of them aren’t worth it anyway...”

When the offending demons weren’t leaving fast enough for MC’s liking, they snapped their fingers and shot a fireball right behind the fleeing demons’ feet. They cleared out pretty quickly after that.

“Luke?” MC turned to look at their friend. “Are you...”

Luke was backing away. That look in his eyes, he was... scared. Scared of MC...

“Y-you’re a d-demon?” He whimpered, taking another step back.

“Half demon, actually.” MC let their demonic elements disappear. “I meant to tell you, I really did! It just was never the right time-”

“You lied to me! You said you were human! But you’re a demon like the rest of them!” Luke shouted, he wiped at his eye with his sleeve and sniffled. “I tried to help you, but you just..! I thought you were my friend!”

“Luke- hang on!” MC took a few steps forward, but Luke was already running away. MC felt something twist in their gut, something awful. That ball of innate pride twisted and practically screamed, filling MC’s head.

“He’s not worth it!”

“You’re above him anyway...”

“If he can’t understand how perfect you are, he doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“Don’t grovel for his forgiveness. He’s beneath you.”

“Your help was rejected. Let him hate you. You’re the child of one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, who is he to make you upset?”

The thoughts filled MC’s head as they desperately tried to shut them up. They were their father’s child, their pride wouldn’t be easily combated.

“Just be quiet!” MC clawed at their head.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than this. You’re better than this-”

“Luke!” MC called out again. “I’m sorry!”

It truly was a shame that their friend didn’t understand how much an apology from MC really meant.

They guessed Luke was right, wasn’t he? Demons were nasty awful liars. MC was no different...

That hurt.

Lucifer noticed his kid was moping around, not even Detective Toe Beans could cheer them up. Mammon even came home covered in mud from a failed money-making scheme and it didn’t even make MC crack a smile! He needed to get to the bottom of this.

Upon hearing the reason for his child’s woes, he was fully ready to break down the door of Purgatory Hall and throttle the little chihuahua, but Lucifer came to his senses and realized that MC probably didn’t want that.

He teamed up with Simeon and Solomon the things he did for MC... And managed to get both Luke and MC to the Demon Lord’s Castle to hang out with Barbatos.

It didn’t take a genius to realize that Luke missed his friend too. Sure they called him a chihuahua sometimes, but they were still the bestest friend he had made during his time in the exchange program... maybe ever...

Maybe... just maybe... he overreacted. MC did protect him after all, and they never tried to hurt him...

Barbatos was fully ready to fulfill his role as Luke’s second dad and help his angel-son make up with his friend.

It may have been awkward at first, but the two had to join forces to stop Solomon from getting within a hundred metres of the kitchen. Nothing brings two people back together more than fear for your tastebuds.

Mission success. Lucifer could relax knowing that his kid and the chihuahua were back to being friends. Maybe MC could convince Luke to quiet his infernal yapping... Lucifer was trying to work here!

For some extra fluff, after many days of asking and asking, Lucifer and Simeon agree to take Luke and MC up to the human world for Halloween. They got to go trick or treating, and everyone complimented MC and Luke on their ‘costumes’.

*insert sitcom laugh track here*

Sure, it may have been a little immoral for MC to use their powers to manipulate the humans into giving Luke and MC more candy but... candy...

Oh shit would you look at the time- they had to get back to the Devildom for Diavolo’s birthday party- MC STOP WITH THE CHOCOLATE! THE SIGN SAYS TAKE ONE! DON’T BE LIKE MAMMON.

The exchange year had been a success. Well... sort of. MC wasn’t exactly the average Joe human the Student Council expected, which is why after a lengthy break where MC went back to the human world to visit their other parent and human friends, the seven rulers of Hell (+MC) were sitting and waiting for the new exchange students to arrive.

Unlike the previous year, the entire student council was present. That included Levi who they had to physically drag there, Belphie who was carried there and had to be placed in his seat because he was completely passed out, and finally Mammon, he just had to be threatened.

“Father,” MC pouted from their seat next to Lucifer. “Why isn’t my chair as big as yours?”

Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Because you’re much shorter than me. You can have a bigger chair when you grow a few more inches.”

“Mmm...” MC murmured, crossing their arms. “Are the students going to get here, or what?”

“Can you be patient?” Lucifer asked. “They’ll be here any moment now. I can trust that you’ll behave, right?”

MC looked scandalized, placing a hand over their heart and gasping. “Father! Of course! I’ll be the most polite person these humans have ever met!”

Not so deep down, Lucifer severely doubted that.

“Come now, Lucifer and MC!” Diavolo said from his elevated seat. “It’s almost eight am!”

Right on schedule the portal opened, two sets of screams followed.

“The next big priority should be making the trip more comfortable.” MC huffed. “It’s demeaning getting dropped straight down like that and just slamming into the floor.”

“Hm.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Perhaps instead we can just teleport them up to the Celestial Realm, start a war, and have them crash through not one, not two, but all three barriers between the realms with no portal.”

“Father...” MC matched Lucifer’s eye roll. “That has the same energy as ‘when I was your age I walked to school 100 miles through a blizzard!’ The polite thing to do for the exchange students is to not let them hit the floor at 100 mph and possibly give them a concussion.”

And slam straight onto the floor the two other exchange students did. Well, one of them slammed right into the marble, the other had tried in vain to use their wings to slow their decent or fly back up.

Wait...

WINGS?!

WAIT THE OTHER HAD HORNS?!

THEY BOTH HAD-

Oh and would you look at that... one looked like... and the other looked like-

Shitballs.

Lucifer had to keep himself from actually shouting in frustration. One normal day... one day of no exchange student issues was all he asked for...

“Out of over ten million candidates out of over eight billion humans...” Lucifer grumbled. “How in my father’s name did this happen again?”

(OOOOOOOOOO SEQUEL BAIT!)