#I am in fact complaining about work
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one thing about me is that when faced with something I don’t like, i’ll do it. Especially if there’s a reward at the end of the task. I’ll complain afterwards, but it’ll still get done and if i’m working with others, they will not sense how I feel bc I will mask it into superhell.
#cal talks#I am in fact complaining about work#which isn’t super terrible. I just hate it bc the hours take away from time I would’ve devoted to writing#the reward about work is the paycheck though. the rest of it can go fuck itself#if my math is right i’ll be paid for about 110 or so hours of work unless I get paid tomorrow#if I get paid tomorrow#i’ll get paid for 29 hours of work#which. still decent but still#wanna get paid tomorrow for the fact that I wanna grab discount valentines sweets#but wanna get paid on the 29th for the fact that I’ll be able to buy comfortable shoes without making too large a dent#i’m gonna blow $300 on two pairs + some socks so that I can switch the shoes on my second break lol
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what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.
like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.
#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender#when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute#sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now#Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually#you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter#I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated#before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means#you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt.#you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you#unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman#and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged#sergle.txt#I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok#that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing#and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman#so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman#if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online#that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.
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Heyoo!
I've been hooked on nomads recently so of course I just HAD to draw something
I know the series is pretty angsty right now, so here ya go!
the quartet (I don't know what comes after trio💀) riding on one of the turtles in the sea kingdom
I was admitedly very lazy with the outfit design and honestly I'm not even gonna try and hide the fact that that turtle was 100% traced💀
I wasn't in the mood to do ANOTHER study, which uh... probably explains a lot
Oh wow, I wonder how long that took me to-
oh well😭😭😭😭
hope @captain-juuter (the author) likes it at least💀
#nomads webtoon#nomads#lance nomads#satra nomads#poko nomads#saber nomads#the turtle from nomads#I'm legit kinda upset about the fact that I spent almost thirty hours on this and THAT'S THE QUALITY????#y'all I am regresseing😭#it's downhill from here on out#I am actually so sorry for like everything in that image#The shading is so uneven but I have lost all and any motivation to keep working on it#also the lineart is so💀#aight Imma stop complaining before y'all start thinking I'm fishing for compliments#I really just need to find a way to improve so I'm listing down things I don't like about it#so I can watch out for it in the next thing I draw#if you've actually read all this omg bless your heart#but why waste time like that💀#loser(affectionate)#go do something productive
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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Celebrating the last day of the full time job before I get to go back to only 1-2 days because of school. GET ME OUTTA HERE
#I should work more otherwise I’m gonna struggle even harder to pay tuition next year#but hey the worlds gonna collapse by 2050 anyway#I shouldn’t be complaining but my job could not get more boring#you’d think it be fun. it’s a record store#well#it’s not doing well business wise and so I have literally nothing to do#if I have to try and make alphabetizing the store stretch on for 7 hours one more day I might in fact implode#if I have to pretend to be busy for 7 hours I’m going to cause the apocalypse myself#I hope one of the pet stores get back to be about my applications#at least my boss and coworkers are nice#pet store hire me I know how to take care of turtles#back on the nothing to do thing I am not exaggerating this has been my life for like two months at this point#I have never felt more useless#but I have anxiety so finding another job will be hard#people don’t like hiring obviously anxious people as their customer service workers#besides I’ve already applied to like five different places and have heard nothing#grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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i am not a historian but i like to think i'd appreciate this meme if i was:
#history fandom#also some people seem to have committed to writing biographies of historical figures before checking if we have Enough Facts#including but not limited to elizabteth norton's one about jane seymour#(“see more? if only we could!” *ba-dum-tish*)#& i am probably giving up on Jeanette Lucraft's Katherine Swynford book cos it's okay but struggling a bit for this reason#tip: check reviews to see if readers complain about a short work that goes off on weird tangents that don't seem related to the topic#don't get me wrong i do enjoy a good semi-relevant aside but that puts more pressure on the author to know the period rly well
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#hi im not dead !! tee hee#anyways its incredible how like 99% of the absolute most bonkers scourge takes#come from people who entirely erase her existence from his life! funny how that works huh#like you dont have to ship them i dont care. frankly ride-or-die evil besties fiona & scourge is something that i would 1000% be down for#being the aroace sonic truther i am.#however. if you rip her completely out and throw her to the wayside#despite the fact that she has been a major part of like all of his appearances after he becomes scourge#then there is a 99.9999999999999999999% chance your takes suck horrifically#and also you do not understand scourge as a character. or sonic for that matter since a lot of the time the terrible takes overlap#i was about to say ''i cant believe i came out of an entirely unannounced 3 week hiatus just to complain#about the fandom's take on something to do with archie sonic''#but actually this is incredibly on brand#anyways fiona justice. its so sad its so sad#like whenever i post something with fiona in it and somebody tags her i immediately go check their tag#just to find that my 3 art pieces are the only things in there#come on guys lets do better#well. actually given the way half the fandom treats scourge im not sure if i want them touching fiona#well . then i guess *ill* have to do better#make it four art pieces instead of three
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Two things that made me happy today:
The girls in my team got me an Easter present 🐰❤️
The cashier called me sunshine because of my outfit, and that made me think of Stephan 🌞
#dont get fooled i am still heavily stressed and depressed#funnily enough part of my team also send a open letter to our work council to complain about me#so this is a nice reminder that they in fact not all of them hate me#i wish i had Stephans sunshine smile#its meee
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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Why am I like- forgetting my tags for my blog? Like the tagging system. I switched acct on tumblr app bc post limit bullshit ykyk? I’m gonna pretend that’s why /hj
#sepiasys.txt#Unrelated; stomach is complaining. I *think* it’s hunger—which makes sense. But also maybe I’m digesting stuff.#Also regarding who I is; Influence from cat perhaps? But I got off call with mom. I feel like I should be one of the less anxious ones. I#say that because I can actually make eye contact. Usually we don’t really need to look people in the eye. But if I can look at our roommate#directly; then that’s significant. Yes we have to deal with a weird mix of possible limerence (that we’re actively trying not to spiral) and#apathy and stuff. Anyways I kinda wanna get food but I know it’ll still feel kinda awkward. Also I don’t really know what to get anyway.#I mean I guess I can make a shitty sandwich? Not feelin up to it. Also don’t rlly wanna make the easy microwave breakfast burrito; and dont#wanna get one of the sweet treats. Maybe I could get a drink; nobody is really drinking the pineapple+aloe (or whatever) drink much. I kinda#like it; so I wouldn’t mind it. It’s akin to the more *sweet* pineapple side than bitter but that’s not a horrible thing. It’s not sickening#I lowkey wonder what roommate’s work schedule is gonne become; he won’t have Saturdays off anymore I think. He also doesn’t seem to have to#work today. It’s nice to know a fairly regular schedule for him so I know when I have access to Elden Ring or his comp.#Plus I’m more comfortable with myself when he’s not around. Thinking about what to eat again /lh#ANYWAYS yeah regarding who I feel like? HOW I feel like? Fairly calm. chill. ‘serious’. /shrug#I know for a fact I have to have resting bitch face rn which is hilarious to think of. But I don’t think I’m mad about anything.#Stealing from a list of names I had before; I’m gonna pretend that I fit any of em. Ren. So whatever the fuck I am right now? Ren /lh#Ren feels like a green name. Probably. *Looks at this one image of various colors of sepia we have*#*Sees ‘Join or Die’ green sepia* that’s pretty rad /pf#Anyways. I wonder if there’s multiple of us that actually act/feel similarly. What if I can act like this and it’s not me but someone else?
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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No i am not joking, according to Endeavor Dabi being near death allowed him to awaken a whole new ability and he now has ice coming out of his chest.
#.........#i am taking very deep breaths right now#i had to do a LOT of heavy lifting to make the last dumb quirk science thing be feasible#when Hawks complained about it#however. deep breath. however#Enji is in fact the SINGLE LEAST RELIABLE SOURCE ON HOW TODOROKI QUIRKS WORK#considering just how badly he failed even basic quirk science‚ match ups‚ genetics‚ medicine‚ and eugenics#a detective does not a novel scientist make or whatever#so him just saying that? yeah sure he can say that's why Dabi can ice now#he's wrong but he can say it. it's very in character for him to be wrong that way#the real reason is it's because Ujiko messed around with Dabi's body previously#which would implant an ice creation meta but only activate in dire straits due to the strain it would cause on the rest of him and his mind#Enji is just like 'ah well he has a vestigial ice invulnerability mutation that had to evolve under stress' because he has never read#Learning Curve nor understood the in universe reality of forced quirk manefestations / mutations#which is fine. he doesn't need to#he needs to wrap up the fighting Dabi thing though#we've been here for.... years...............#pocket talks to people#anon#bnha manga spoilers#bnha manga leaks
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#WHY is everyone being so bitter about that speech is beyond me#this is exactly what happens when you take things out of context and focus on one thing#i am not ''defending'' him or whatever i'm just saying that like always things are being taken out of context#people are acting like he SPECIFICALLY said that part for the grammys speech like he's an evil mastermind#practicing that sentence just so he can come and say it at an award show#bestie that's literally the speech that man's been giving at all his concerts that's literally what he says all the time#he was overwhelmed and he wasn't expecting the one and he just. said the words he's always said because he couldn't comprehend#let him be honestly like you're all being so bitter about it as if you saying awful things about it is gonna change the fact that#his album won album of the year. like no matter what you do it's not going to change#plus like. you're all complaining about him being rich please tell me WHO in that nomination list ISN'T rich#i know rich people should die but also like. these people aren't rich just because. they have the wealth because they put in the talent#and effort and fucking worked hard for it man#just because your favourite didn't win doesn't mean that he didn't put out a damn good album. he would not be nominated#if his album wasn't good enough#honestly. let go literally let go you'll find peace and calm
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I'm literally a vessel for emotions that feel like some vague and distant dream. And my problem is I kick it away and get surprised when that works so that when I reach out to it after having kicked it away I wonder why I can't feel what I want to feel As if that is not my fault. <- He has to practice self-kindness but it is hard.
#Even right now i am completely unbothered. how am i complaining about things while completely unbothered? don't ask me how the brain works#like really im not mad at all at anyone for those texts#in fact i am grateful!#i guess also i would just prefer if these feelings wouldn't come like. Right as i'm about to fall asleep.#and i would like to cry like a baby#but i do not know how to just Let that happen. I very much want to. But it's like I automatically shut it off.#i am hoping that by sitting down for 10 minutes and finding a way to verbalize my experience i am opening up a door for#parts of myself i have ignored to Feel.#ok? this is my peace offering everyone. ok? i love you
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for the writer ask
💭🚦💛 💌
💭 What inspires you and your writing?
this is a real marketing major-ass answer (from your local marketing major), but i love sharing knowledge and telling stories. writing’s one of those things that’s a bit of a compulsion for me—i’m always writing something. i took a five-year break from fiction writing before i stumbled ass-first into fanfic last year, but even in those years when i was focusing on my career, i was writing guides and trainings and a ton of other stuff—just not anything fun, lol.
writing is also so cathartic. sometimes i set out to tell a specific story, but at other times, a particular emotion gets me in a vice grip and i have to put it to words before it’ll go away. my stories tend to wind up as emotional dumping grounds as a result.
i don’t write things pulled directly from my own life, but there are bits and pieces of myself and things that have happened to me scattered throughout stuff i’ve written, and usually when i’m about 75% of the way through a piece, i’ll realize it’s absolutely related to something i’m currently going through. funny how art works that way, even when you don’t intend for it to.
and occasionally i just have a fire lit under my ass about an issue and i get so hot about it that i gotta compile my thoughts. looking at you, silver snow
🚦 What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?
look, i would love nothing more for them girls (pick whichever girls you please) to have a happy ending where they kiss and are stupid in love for the rest of forever. i love reading those kinds of stories. but in my heart of hearts, i love an ambiguous ending. i like when there are still questions after the story ends. i like thinking about where things could go or how the characters will go on after the events of the story. like, shared space could be read as having a happy ending, but i don’t really think it is. and with the victors; the vestiges, well. you’ll see :0)
come to think of it, i’m not sure i’ve ever written a happily-ever-after, but i don’t think i’ve ever written a 100% bad ending, either. i read too many bury-your-gays stories and watched too many sad european queer coming-of-age films in my youth to ever be happy putting that kinda thing out into the world. i want to write about love with all its ugliness, but not despair or hopelessness. i think what most appeals to me about an ambiguous ending is that lingering feeling of hope. it’s not the same as the kind you get from a happily-ever-after, and something about it speaks to me.
💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?
honestly? how to take criticism. i took a creative writing class in high school where we had to read our work out loud and then receive feedback on it from the other writers in the class, and that did a lot for me. going into that class, i’d already been writing for forever and had won some little local writing contests and such, so i was a wee bit of a pretentious douche. but i’d never gotten real critique before beyond, essentially, spelling and grammar checks. it humbled me lol. it made me grow so much as a writer, and i could see where i needed to improve or where my head was wedged way too far up my own ass for others to follow. it also helped me recognize strengths i didn’t know i had, and that was huge. it’s easy to get into a self-doubt spiral when making creative work, and good, constructive criticism can do so much to help avoid that.
to this day i love critique. i like knowing what worked or didn’t work so that i can continue to improve as a writer and do better next time. did my themes land? did something really work, but another part fall flat? i’d love to know!! i try to treat everything i write as practice for the next thing, and frankly that’s helped take some of the pressure off so i don’t go into total Perfectionist Mode.
i know critique is kind of a sensitive topic in fan spaces, but i think that’s because a lot of people have gotten unsolicited criticism that is purely critical and isn’t constructive. but getting good, constructive criticism will do so much to help a person grow as a writer. it’s scary, and sometimes it hurts! writing is very personal for most people, and it stings when things aren’t received the way you think they will be. but i know i’ve grown more from having my failures pointed out (and, very importantly, having the good things about those efforts acknowledged) than anything else.
💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?
actually Just answered this in another ask!
#sterge.eml#foxyjeongin#thank you for playing my little game and letting me talk about stories (and about me lmao)#sorry this is kind of a long post#i talk too much#i think i sound pretentious in this ask whoops. sorry#unfortunately i kind of am. i’m working on it.#… i guess the short answer to that first question is ‘emotions and mental illness’ lol#if you follow me on twitter (not recommended as it’s just me complaining about the weather and not being able to ride my motorcycle)#you know that every time i bring up my writing in therapy my therapist rocks my shit by revealing the story is#in fact.#NOT about what i thought it was about#or more accurately it’s ALSO secretly about whatever’s going on with me in real life lmao#y’know what’s really fun? looking back at something you wrote in a manic or depressive episode and going ah. hm. interesting.#the signs were. in fact. there.#(this is in fact not fun and i don’t like it. but it always happens.)#everything i write is accidentally Also about being bipolar. no getting around that#i tend to have issues organizing my thoughts and feelings to even figure out how tf i’m feeling#(forget making any attempt at doing so verbally. i have chronic foot-in-mouth disorder and accidentally say shit i don’t mean all the time)#but writing stuff down has always helped me sort through whatever mess is going on in my noggin and i love it for that#learning how to take critique is my no. 1 piece of writing advice but no. 2 is to read#read the classics. find out why they’re classics. read weird shit. read shit you don’t like. find things you like about em anyway.#and importantly: figure out WHY you do or don’t like it#it’s funny to re-read a book i haven’t read in a long time and discover OH. that’s where i get that technique from.#or that’s where i got that idea. or that’s why i had X thing happen in this story.#or why i like this type of character or scenario#nothing’s truly new and original#we’re all an amalgamation of influences and that ruuuuules#celebrate it!!!
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I. Hate. Rosacea. Because when I blush I blush hard and I am blushing as of late.
#totes bro#i may be.....gay for a woman at work#who was telling me about her trash romance and abo books (in a normal work appropriate way to say 'wolf romance book')#but#i gotta be normal i got 25 years i have to be here for pension#i just say i get worried that i messed something up which does in fact contribute a lot to it#and like a 'you gotta try better '#but i dont get that and i am so weak for compliments and praise#please ignore that ive said all this#i just complain about work on Tumblr always and this is me complaining about work#lauren dont tell on me#rosacea also HURTS#it feels like a sunburn
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