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myhairpintrigger · 1 year

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Moonlight & Shadows (aleksander morozova x fem!moon summoner!reader)

READ PART 1 HERE

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is the requested part two to another request i had gotten previously so PLEASE read that first. it’ll make it easier for you to understand this one :) apologies in advance for how long this is… i got very carried away.

requested by: @sloppyzengarden

as always.. PLEASE SEND ME YOUR LOVELY REQUESTS <33

warnings: major character death, spoilers for season 2, canon typical violence, mentions of blood. slightly (?) ooc (?) mal

word count: 17.5k

Tendrils of shadow weaved themselves between your glowing fingers and you tapped them, watching as the darkness of the shadows fizzled into a soft silvery shower of tiny sparks.

Your delicate hand was clasped tightly in Aleksander’s much larger, scarred one. A black mark covered the back of his hand where the bone of the stag used to sit, fused into his skin.

With your free hand and his, the two of you absentmindedly messed around with your powers, something the two of you did often. He claimed you should use it often and that’s why he did it, but you suspected it was because he enjoyed watching your light consume his shadows and turn them into silvery, moonlit sparks.

You sat on one of his thighs while your legs were draped across the other and you laid your head down on his shoulder. Every now and then, he’d turn to press a kiss to the side of your face. Despite the situation you were in, the pressures you both were under, you’d never felt so adored.

You pulled back just a bit to look up at his face to admire him. Black scars now decorated his beautiful face and there was a different roughness to him ever since you had found him, emerging from The Fold.

He didn’t like his scars, but to you, they were just another part of the man you loved so dearly. Every part of him was so beautiful to you.

As if sensing your stare, he slowly turned his head downwards and gazed at you through his half-lidded, tired eyes.

“What’re you staring at, little one?” He asked and reached down to run just the tips of his calloused fingers over your cheek.

“Just you. What else?” You answered honestly, and he simply let out a short laugh.

He didn’t respond in any other way, instead deciding to wrap both of his arms around your waist. You laid your hands on his chest and rested your cheek against his collarbone, eyes falling shut slowly. Comfort washed over you like a warm rain and you gathered the lapels of his kefta in your fists, holding yourself as close to him as you possibly could.

Most of your nights ended like this, together. Ever since you had found him, crawling out of The Fold with his nichevo'ya following behind him, he’d held you just a little bit tighter when he got the chance to. He hadn’t allowed you to board the skiff with him and Alina on that fateful day where everything went terribly wrong. He’d instead had Ivan put you to sleep and left you in his tent back at the army encampment. When you woke, you could feel him. All of him. All of his pain, his suffering, and most of all, you could feel the way he was calling for you. You heard it in your mind, and it led you all the way to the edge of The Fold. When he came stumbling out, you ran to him, taking him into your capable arms.

When you promised him forever, you meant just that.

You’d always known there was a darkness within Aleksander. A darkness that was more than just the shadows he controlled.

A darkness that you’d taken in whole and accepted as part of the man you loved.

There was much unspoken between the two of you, much that was unnecessary to speak. He knew you better than you knew yourself, and at this point, you liked to believe that you knew him better than he did.

“You ought to be getting some sleep, my precious Saint.” He whispered and placed a kiss against the side of your head.

“I do not wish to, not yet.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I am comfortable here with you.” You replied and looked up at him. His face was soft, a sight you’d seldom seen before his emergence from The Fold. You felt a twinge of sadness in your stomach and he must have noticed it on your face, because he cupped your face with one hand and leaned down towards you.

“Oh, my love. None of that. Do not pity me. I am alive and I am well. You are mine, I am yours, we will emerge victorious through it all, all is right. All is well.” he cooed in a tone that could’ve convinced you that the sky was green rather than blue.

His warm lips pressed themselves against your temple and he drew you in closer to himself until you were completely covered in him.

“My beautiful Saint of the Moon, sleep now. I will not let go of you.” he promised in that same velvet tone, and it was enough to make you close your eyes.

“But you need your sleep, too, moi soverenyi.” you whispered to him, but you felt his finger tap your lips.

“I will sleep once I know you have comfortably fallen into your very own slumber. As I do every night.” he replied and you nuzzled your face into the side of his chest.

You listened to the shallow beating of his heart underneath your cheek and you focused on the rise and fall of his chest, never wanting to move from the spot you’d taken up residency in for the night. The distant sound of his heart lulled you to sleep, slowly at first, and then your exhaustion came down on you like an avalanche, pulling you down into its clutches.

“Do you think perhaps once we find the last amplifier that I could have a bit of it, too?” you asked softly, watching as Aleksander flipped through a leather bound book on the table in front of the two of you.

Vladim, a small Alkemi pushed another book towards Aleksander and he let out a discontented hum.

“But of course, my little moonbeam. Anything you would like shall be yours.” he mumbled distractedly and you heard a snort from the other side of the room. You glanced over at Baghra who sat in her cage, eyeing you with contempt.

“Feeling like a little house kitten yet, Miss y/l/n?” Baghra asked and Aleksander’s head perked up.

“Speak not to my Moon Summoner, woman. Keep your spite to yourself and rot with it, mother.” he said sharply and then as if he had to apologize, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “Do ignore her. She couldn’t possibly understand the capacity of that which I have affection for you.” he murmured and then picked up another book.

“Please. You know little of true affection, Aleksander. You’ll have your fun with your pet and then once the novelty wears off, you’ll want another. Something else to gain.” she said with a sense of pride that made you curl your fingers into fists.

“Last I checked, Baghra, I was not the one collared and chained to a skiff. My presence is entirely voluntary.” you snapped, referring to Alina.

“Voluntary because you choose to show him what tricks you’ve learned. Because you derive your pride and pleasures on making him proud. Proud of the tricks he taught you. You-“

“Enough!” Aleksander yelled and turned towards Baghra, “Bitter hag. Make your assumptions to yourself, for you know little of what you speak.” he snapped and the room fell entirely silent.

His arm wrapped around your middle and he pulled you into his side tightly.

“You can have whatever you like. If you desire The Firebird, then I shall give it to you on a silver platter.” he repeated and then stared down at you, his eyes steely, “A queen deserves that much.”

A warm feeling, much akin to drunkenness, filled your chest as you looked up at Aleksander and he trailed his eyes away from the journal in his hands. He looked down upon your face and then he sighed.

“Stop gazing at me like that. We have things to do today and if I catch your affectionate stare once more, I will want nothing else but to stare back.” He replied and then he set the journal down and clutched your hands in his.

He gave you a soft smile and then he ducked down to place a delicate kiss on your cheekbone.

“My dear girl, would you be so kind as to fetch me the notebook that is in our room?” He asked softly and you looked up at him, giving his hands a soft squeeze.

“Of course. Give me a moment, I’ll be right back.” You promised and he moved in to give you one more peck on the side of your face and you felt your cheeks heat up.

Once he had released your hands and turned back to his work with Vladim, you walked out into the hallway, humming quite contently to yourself.

You rounded the corner to your bedroom when a hand closed itself around your arm. You spun around urgently only to see Genya standing behind you, her lips pursed in a frown.

“Y/n,” she began, speaking in a tone not much louder than a simple breath, “I am hoping you will find it within yourself to help me.”

You gazed into the red headed girl’s eyes and you blinked a couple of times, reaching up to gently lay your hand on her forearm.

“You look ever so frightened, Genya.”

“I need your help-“

“Yes but you are shaking.” You protested, cutting her off.

“That is why I need your help!” She exclaimed and then she leaned her face into her hands, “I did not mean to raise my voice to you, I apologize, y/n.”

You’d never seen her act so skittish before and it struck a chord of worry deep within you.

“Oh, please no. Don’t apologize. Just tell me what you need, darling.” You breathed, trying to be as soft and kind as you could be to the anxiety ridden girl.

“David and I-“ Once again, the girl was cut off by a bloodcurdling scream behind the two of you, and you slowly turned around.

The scream resonated in your bones, it nearly made you shiver with its proximity. You’d heard that kind of scream many times before; someone was in great pain.

Determined footsteps followed just a moment later and they echoed down the hall, coming closer to the two of you.

Genya let go of your arm instantly and she turned the opposite corner and took off in a fast walk, leaving you standing in confusion. Just as you went to walk to your bedroom, another hand caught your arm and you looked up to see Aleksander.

He did not look down at you this time. His face, though stoic, had a burning fury bubbling just underneath the skin, and you could see this through his dark eyes. His jaw was set so tightly you thought he might shatter each and every one of his teeth. You had not been around an angry Aleksander before. Either he displayed his anger elsewhere, or he was just very skilled at keeping it at bay. Whatever the case may have been, the apoplectic glint in his eyes made you frown and you wanted to make yourself very small in that moment.

“My love?” You whispered and reached up to place your hand on top of his as he held your upper arm.

His restraint was impressive. For someone who had eons of rage just beneath the surface, he held your arm so gently that you would have believed him to be much happier if you’d felt his touch without seeing his face.

After just a moment, he tipped his head down towards you and he gave you a very, very tense look.

“I have acquired amplifiers for you and I.” He said simply and then he let his fingers fall away from your arm before he gently brushed past you and strode down the hall.

You wondered where he could have found an amplifier so instantaneously and you turned around and made your way back into the room he had just left.

Vladimi stood at his table with a semi-disgusted look on his face and you stared at him for a moment before you dared to look over at Baghra, who had her hand cradled against her chest. Blood slipped through her fingers at a rapid rate and dribbled onto the floor beneath her. You questioned what had happened and turned to Vladim to ask, though, you wished you hadn’t, because the boy held a dish with one severed finger sitting upon it.

Your mouth fell open and you looked between Vladim and Baghra rapidly before you retreated out of the room, feeling rather sick to your stomach.

You hadn’t seen Aleksander all day. Not since he informed you that you now had an amplifier. The thought made you shiver.

You had never been fond of Baghra, in fact, the two of you had a very tumultuous acquaintanceship. She was very well aware of the fact that you stood with her son at all times, completely devoted to him. Just as you were well aware she was completely devoted to his downfall. The two beliefs didn’t match up, and neither did the two of you. That didn’t necessarily mean you wanted her to be dismembered in the name of your own gain.

It wasn’t as if you were angry with Aleksander, though. Truth be told, you were a bit afraid of him at the moment. You had never seen the man angry before. He was smart, he played his cards right, and he was cautious to never show you his anger, his contempt. Perhaps it was because he knew just how terrifying he could be. He didn’t need a gun, he didn’t need weaponry of any kind, he didn’t even need to raise his voice. All Aleksander needed to invoke fear was a simple change in his eyes, and the look in them earlier was enough to send a biting chill down to your very bones. And you weren’t even the subject of his anger.

You finished your ninth slow lap around the grounds of the sanctuary and you rubbed your cold nose a few times, letting out a little sigh. You’d been outside walking for quite some time now, trying to decide what to do next. You wanted to thank Aleksander for the amplifier, but you also wanted to ask him why. You wanted to go inside and sit on his thigh while he pondered by his window, but you didn’t want to see his anger. So you instead went for your tenth circle around the grounds, only getting started before someone cleared their throat near you.

You turned your head to see David walking alongside you now and you gave him a little smile. He didn’t smile back.

“Is there anything I can do for you, David?” You asked, keeping the polite smile on your face as you spoke to him.

“Yes. I need to ask something of you. I would never ask if I wasn’t completely desperate.” He mumbled and then looked away from you.

“Ask.” You instructed, and you were almost surprised with how your tone resembled Aleksander’s.

David must have thought the same thing because his eyes shot towards you and he studied your face for a moment before he shook his head.

“I am… leaving. With Genya. I need you to keep The Darkling… occupied. For the evening. Please, y/n. I know very well of your devotion to him, I know what I risk by asking this of you, but I saw your eyes today, when you realized what he’d done to Baghra. You are afraid of him. So are we. Please, I beg you to let us go. Let us escape. Buy us some time.” He explained, not bothering to hide the desperation in his voice.

You eyed him and pursed your lips. A bit of your own anger began to build and you let out a little scoff.

“Do you realize what you ask of me? You want me to deceive the man who protects me? Who protects you? All of us? David, he saved Genya. He saved you, and all you can do to repay him is run?” You asked incredulously, your eyes narrowing.

“He is no man! He is evil in its truest form. He commands wicked things, horrible things. He inspires nothing a man who saves his people should inspire. He inspires fear! Pure fear!” David protested and then stopped walking, causing you to stop as well.

You looked the Durast up and down in disgust and you clenched your hands into fists.

“You only fear what you don’t understand. Just because you cannot see the beauty in his nature does not mean it isn’t there. You and Genya are ingrates. You should be ashamed of yourselves. He saved you, took you in, gives you purpose and a shelter in a country where Grisha are being hunted every single day-“

“And why are they being hunted now?” David asked sharply, cutting you off.

“Because they fear what they don’t understand!” You exclaimed, “Just as you do! Just as Genya does! My answer is no. I will not aid in your abandonment. If you wish to run, do so at your own risk. I hide nothing from my Darkling.” You hissed, squaring your shoulders as you stared up at David.

The mild-mannered man looked down at you in a sort of disbelief and then he shook his head.

“I cannot have you tell him what we have planned.” He said somberly and reached out for your arm, but you jumped back as quickly as he moved forward.

“I will tell him what I please!” You shrieked and held your hand up threateningly, the silvery light of the moon glowing just beneath your skin, “It would do you well to not try and stop me, David Kostyk.” You warned before you stepped back once more. You stared at him for just a moment longer before you took off back towards the sanctuary, running with intent. You looked back just once to see him running in the opposite direction. Frustration filled your chest and you ran even faster up to the doors. You flung them open once you reached them and dashed inside. It took all the self control you had not to scream Aleksander’s name, and as soon as you came running through the halls, Genya went running past you and you gasped.

You ran down the hall to your bedroom, your footsteps graceless and loud as you stampeded towards the room and you pushed the door open.

Aleksander sat in his chair and when the door flew open, he slowly looked up at you.

If he was angry still, there was no trace of it left on his face and in his eyes. Instead he looked exhausted, pained, regretful.

You let out a loud cry of frustration and you pointed towards the hall, out of breath.

“Genya and David are deserting!” You cried out.

That got his attention and he stood as quickly as you got the words out. He grabbed his cloak from off of the table it laid on and he nodded towards the door.

“Come then.” He commanded simply and he stormed out of the room and you followed behind him, your chest heaving.

He pulled his cloak on as he walked and then reached back to grab your wrist and pull you closer to him.

“How do you know they are deserting?” He asked you as the pair of you made your way outside towards his horse.

“David. He asked me to keep you distracted while he ran with Genya.” You admitted and Aleksander looked down at you with wide eyes.

“Then I suppose we will have to put a stop to that, won’t we?” He asked in a hum.

As soon as you reached his horse, he hoisted you up onto the animal and climbed on behind you and kicked the horse in the side, getting it to move.

You looked out across the clearing before you and you saw Genya’s head bobbing above and beneath the tops of shrubbery and twiggy bushes.

“There.” You said and pointed towards the distance, and Aleksander didn’t waste any time in steering his horse in that same direction.

You placed your hands on top of his gently and you let out a very quiet sigh.

“I am sorry, my love.” You whispered and you could feel him shake his head behind you.

“This is not your doing, I will not have you apologetic for the actions of others.” He replied and simply urged his horse on faster until the only sound you heard was the thundering of the animal’s hooves.

The two of you chased the girl up a few paths until you rounded a corner and he called out for her viciously.

“Stand and answer me!” He shouted determinedly.

Genya was cornered. There was nowhere else for her to run now that she was stuck between some old ruins and you and Aleksander. Your lover threw himself off of the horse and you stayed up on its back, staring down at him as he stalked towards her.

His hood hung over his head ominously, and the ground beneath his feet blackened in little tendrils, all radiating out from him. Genya was shaking like a frightened animal and her eyes darted between you and Aleksander in terror.

Normally, you probably would’ve felt pity for the scared girl, but all you felt in that moment was a white hot twinge of frustration .

How dare she so easily abandon the man who saved her life? The man who wanted nothing but peace for his people.

You stared coldly at the girl and you straightened up your shoulders, your jaw setting sternly.

Aleksander pushed his hood off of his head as he approached the Tailor and he looked around the small clearing.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked lowly, still approaching Genya, “I rescue you from certain death, yet you abandon me.” His tone was calm, so soft that it was eerie.

She looked up at you as if you might save her from her fate, but you simply watched her as if this was nothing but a show put on for your own entertainment, a silly little attempt at your amusement.

Her face became one of anger and she whipped her head towards Aleksander.

“You used me to satisfy a king. I should be your greatest shame,” she replied, her voice trembling just as hard as she was, “Please,” she began, tears forming in her wide blue eyes, “just let me go.” She wasn’t begging, she wasn’t asking. She was trying to reason with him.

She turned towards you and then she let out a fragment of a gasp.

“And you! Who have you become? You were my friend!” She cried and pointed at you shakily.

You raised an eyebrow and then let out a long sigh. You tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear and you shifted on the horse.

“You speak of things you have no possible capacity of knowing.” You replied in an even tone.

“Please, just let me go.” She repeated, eyes still on you as if you were going to speak up on her behalf.

You weren’t.

“I’m afraid not.” Aleksander spoke, and you tore your eyes away from Genya just in time to see one of his nichevo'ya rise up from the ground at his side, “I need you, Genya.” He added, approaching her with small steps, his side half consumed by the cyclonic billowing of shadows that made up his new creatures of nothing.

Genya jammed her hand into her coat and yanked out a gun, and without hesitation, shot into the nichevo'ya. The misshapen humanlike form of shadow moved toward her, followed by Aleksander and she made one last look up at you before the nichevo'ya wrapped itself around her and she let out a gut twisting scream.

You averted your eyes from the scene in front of you and pushed down the little sliver of guilt that prodded at your throat.

She deserved it. She was going to desert you. She betrayed Aleksander, she would have gone straight to Alina.

You closed your eyes and took a few slow breaths before you opened them again and exhaled slowly. You kept your eyes on your hands now as Genya continued to scream and for only a second, you thought you tasted but a lick of the fear that compelled Genya and David.

Aleksander was nearly doubled over coughing when you entered your room. You approached him with caution to make sure you didn’t startle him, and you laid your hand gently on his back, passing him a handkerchief from the pocket of your kefta.

He took it from you very gently and held it over his mouth as he continued to cough. After a few moments of this, he straightened up slowly and lowered the handkerchief. He dropped it on the chair he was clutching onto and you didn’t dare look at it, afraid of what you might find.

His eyes found your face and he reached out for you, his hand sliding gently around your neck as he pulled you into his chest.

“I know that look. I’ve told you not to pity me.” He mumbled and tucked your head against his chest. His voice was hoarse and he sounded exhausted, but you let him pull you close nonetheless and wrapped your arms around him tightly.

“Aleksander, I do not pity you. I worry for you. Grisha do not get sick, yet you cough and are burdened with headaches. I have the right to worry. I lo…” you slowly trailed off and let out a small huff. You didn’t let yourself finish, instead, you pressed your face against his kefta and closed your eyes tightly.

Many of the emotional things between you and Aleksander went unspoken, and it had always been this way. You weren’t doubtful that he loved you, just as he wasn’t doubtful that you loved him. Nonetheless, it was a word that fell into the realm of the unspoken.

You never knew why.

Perhaps it was that it had a deeper meaning than just the affection you two held for one another. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to proclaim your love for him in verbal form. But he never did. Not in such a direct way. For you, not telling Aleksander that you loved him was simply because he never did either, but for him, you theorized that it was much deeper. Maybe it was because he didn’t love you- which you didn’t believe for one moment- or maybe it was because the last time he claimed love for someone, they were murdered before his very eyes. Or perhaps it was because the moment he said it aloud, he would give up the very thing that kept him impenetrable to his enemies: he would give up his supposed invincibility.

To his enemies, The Darkling didn’t have weaknesses. He didn’t falter, and he didn’t hesitate.

To most of them at least. It was no secret that you two were close, and Alina knew that much. Though, you didn’t fear Alina. Neither did he.

But you were his weakness, just as he was yours. You admittedly had many more weaknesses than he, your so few years on this earth leaving you with soft spots that had yet to harden. He had the luxury of having those soft spots hidden behind walls and steel and stone.

His hand slid away from your neck and up into your hair as you stood silently in your thoughts, and his fingers curled protectively against your scalp.

“You worry for such trivial things, angel.” He replied quietly.

It wasn’t trivial.

Not to you.

If he didn’t get the third amplifier before Alina did, you knew that his use of merzost freely would poison him until his heart finally did stop for the first time in over five hundred years.

You didn’t say anything more. You just kept your face hidden against his chest and you clung to him, desperate to have him as close to you as possible. Especially tonight. Especially after Genya.

The two of you hadn’t said a word on the matter, and you knew it was because Aleksander knew he’d frightened you, even if you did try to mask it with a replica of the hard facade of his that you coveted so deeply at times.

A knock on the door broke your silence and pulled you away from your wondering thoughts and Aleksander gently pulled your head away from his chest with the grip he had on your hair. He leaned down and pressed one delicate kiss to your lips before he let go of you and cleared his throat.

“Yes?” He called and the door opened briskly.

His unofficial right hand, Fruzsi stepped into the room and she approached the two of you instantly.

“General, Miss y/l/n.” She greeted with reverence.

Aleksander hardly acknowledged her greeting and instead turned his body towards her and let out a quiet wheeze before he spoke.

“The moment Genya is conscious, let’s take her and make sure the others understand what awaits them if they are disloyal.” He instructed and you bit the inside of your cheek. You didn’t want to be part of that.

“With pleasure.” Fruzsi replied obediently and clutched her hands in front of her as she bowed her head just slightly at Aleksander.

He turned back around and faced you now, reaching out to carefully adjust your kefta, straightening it and dusting it off just a bit.

“I’ll admit disappointment,” he began and then he tidied up the collar of your kefta, and though he was fiddling with your clothing, you knew he was speaking to Fruzsi, “I always felt an affinity for her. And David,” he continued before he turned back towards the other girl in the room.

“Morozova’s journal is missing.” She blurted and you stiffened.

The journal was the only thing you all had with the information that was needed to possibly cure Aleksander’s ailment that he’d dragged out of The Fold with himself.

His shoulders stiffened and you reached out to grasp his forearm, and though he didn’t acknowledge you, he was thankful that your hand was on his arm.

Your touch grounded him.

“Vladim believes David took it.” Fruzsi continued on, a look of worry ghosting over her features.

Aleksander didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds and you brushed your thumb soothingly over the sleeve of his kefta, even though you were sure he didn’t feel it through the thick material.

Of course David would take it. The one thing that you needed. The betrayal of Aleksander by two people he claimed to trust sent a stab of sickness up through your stomach.

“And with it, any possibility of understanding my… condition.” he slowly turned towards you, his face colorless. The same anger from earlier boiled just beneath his skin and his eyes seemed to glow with the same fury.

You practically cowered underneath his indignant stare.

His lip curled back just slightly and you let out a shaking breath, your hand tightening around his arm, mouth forming his name.

You had never been one for anger before. It took a great deal to get you to the point of rage, and even then, you kept yourself as calm as you could. You had to. All of your life, you had to. You could tell by the look in your lover’s eyes, that he reached his breaking point. There was no masking his anger now, his mask had fallen, and there was no amount of patience now that could compel him to slip the mask back on.

“Leave.” He hissed over his shoulder at Fruzsi.

The girl glanced worriedly at him and then at you before she bowed her head once more and scurried out of the room.

Aleksander yanked his arm from your grip and you gasped softly.

“Aleksander, my love-“ you began but he held up a hand to silence you.

You fell silent, your heart hammering anxiously against your chest now.

He breathed heavily for a moment before he launched his arms down upon his desk and sent everything atop it flying, a loud, mangled cry leaving his mouth. He turned his back on you and leaned up against the desk as he continued to scream, and you brought your hands up to your mouth, tears gathering in your eyes.

The sound of his yells and the clattering of objects flying off the desk made you jump and you stumbled backwards just a bit, a tiny cry escaping your lips. You held your hands tightly over your mouth and watched him as he lifted a shaking hand and turned it over, staring at the remnants of his and Alina’s shared amplifier.

You watched him in shock and you shook your head, lowering your hands from your mouth.

You knew very well of the tether Aleksander shared with Alina, and you also knew of the dangers that came with it. He loved to have the last word, loved to toy with the girl as if she was a mouse caught by only her tail and he was the cat that held her in place.

“My love, do not call on her, you’ll only grow angrier.” You whispered and stepped towards him.

But he already had.

You had barely left your room for a week now. You’d barely found the will to speak along with your desire to not leave the room.

Aleksander knew very well that he had scared you the night the journal was reported missing, and though he didn’t come out and apologize aloud yet, he’d spent a considerable amount of time with his arms around you. He would hold you against his chest and he’d coo sweet little things in your ears and he’d rock you back and forth like he was comforting a baby.

His guilt was eating him alive, perhaps more rapidly than the merzost was.

Tonight in particular pained him more than the others.

You were sat at his desk and stacked his papers carefully after arranging them. He wasn’t angry, he didn’t even mean to stand up so fast and so aggressively, but he rose rapidly from his favored chair and you jumped backwards, eyes wide as you looked up at him.

You stood up quickly and tried to play it off as just getting up, but he’d seen the way you’d flinched.

“Y/n,” he whispered and slowly moved towards you. When he was only a foot away from you, you looked up at him and gave him a watery smile and shook your head.

“No, Aleksander I’m just fine. It’s okay.” You insisted and held your hands out to dismiss whatever he was about to say. You knew the look on his face well. He was stricken.

“You are not fine. You walk on eggshells around me. You have ever since Genya.” He stated and you swallowed nervously, shaking your head in protest.

“I don’t, I promise.” You insisted, your voice getting stuck in your throat nearly at the end.

“What do you call this, then? You jumping at my abrupt movements, your newfound anxiety in my presence. Just seven days ago, I brought you comfort. I know this has to do with her and my outburst and I am sorry that-“

“No! No! Please, Aleksander! You have nothing to apologize for-“

“I am sorry that I allowed myself to act that-“

“Please, no-“ you cut him off again, only to be cut off in return.

“Will you just listen? It was no way for me to behave. Especially in front of you. Because if I don’t have your devotion and your trust then I have nothing.” He said firmly and reached down to cup your face in his hands.

His touch was feather-light and he held your face carefully as if you were thin, breakable glass.

“You have my devotion and all of my trust. It was just… new. Genya has nothing to do with it. I’ve just never seen you so… angry. It startled me.” You admitted in a whisper and Aleksander leaned down to rest his forehead against yours.

“My sweet little angel, I do apologize for startling you. Please know that my anger will never be turned on you, it will never be directed towards you. How could I be angry with you? You stand by me so adamantly and so loyally. That is a wonder. A beautiful wonder. I’ve not known such unconditional devotion.”

“That’s because it’s not only unconditional devotion, Aleksander.” You whispered and closed your eyes, your lips trembling under the weight of the words you wished to speak.

“What else is it, then?”

“I am devoted to you, that is the truth. But I don’t regard you with only devotion, Aleksander. This unconditional devotion you speak of is not devotion at all. It is love.” Your voice broke at the end and a single tear rolled down your cheek, “It is love Aleksander. Unconditional love. And I know you don’t wish to say that aloud, but it’s-“

He cut you off yet again, this time with his lips crashing down upon your own.

You received his kiss with a type of reverence that could only be comparable to the kind you give to a God and you returned his action by kissing him back. His fingers curled into your hair and held your face to his as he kissed you with the same reverence, and you could feel past his apology, past the shared reverence. You felt his sorrow and his fear and his devotion to you, all in his kiss. When he finally pulled back to take in a breath of air, he let out the tiniest cry you had ever heard out of his mouth and he clenched his jaw painfully tight.

“What have you done to me, woman?” He asked breathlessly, squeezing his eyes shut.

You opened your mouth to answer but you never got the chance to, because he spoke again before you could.

“I don’t fear things. I am the one to be feared. But I fear losing you. It rattles me down to my very skeleton. I fear losing you the way I should fear death. Tell me what you’ve done to me. Tell me what curse you’ve put on me to leave me in such a haze. Tell me why you have me on my knees for your love. Oh, I want it. I need it. I crave it. Oh, how I want you. I need you. I crave you. You are the light that belongs to the darkness. The Moon needs the shadows to shine. You were meant for me, just as I was meant for you. And oh, my beautiful saint, how I love you.”

You gasped at his words softly and he nudged his nose against your own, and you didn’t notice that you were crying until he was wiping your cheeks dry with his thumbs.

“When we win, when we get out of this victorious and I rise as King, I will make you my queen. I will have you for life. I will marry you, underneath that pretty willow behind the Little Palace, in the dead of night where we can be surrounded by nothing but shadows and moonlight. Isn’t that what we are? Shadows and moonlight?” His tone was hushed and it was devout, as if he were a prophet reading you his favorite scripture.

You brought your own hands up to Aleksander’s face and you cupped it the same way he cupped yours. You wanted to speak, but you weren’t sure if anything would leave your mouth except for sobs, so you let him continue.

“I fall at your feet, Sankta y/n. You are my very own saint to worship, and I will make sure that one day, you are the one they scrawl into the history books and sacred texts. Sankta y/n, summoner of the Moon. My love, my life. You are the one thing that makes me stronger while simultaneously making me weak.”

“That is love, my dear Aleksander.” You cried and he shushed you with a handful of light kisses over your trembling lips.

“That is love.” He echoed, his lips so close to yours that they brushed your bottom lip when he spoke.

The two of you stood in silence for a long time, and he wiped your tears when they fell and you brushed your thumb over the soft skin underneath his eyes.

Finally, he pulled his face away from yours and he looked down into your eyes with an intensity he’d not looked at you with before.

“I mean it. I will make you my queen and marry you underneath the willow behind the Little Palace. Surrounded and adored by Grisha. We will liberate our people and I will spend eternity by your side. My queen of the Moon, the love of my life.”

You nodded once, a small smile tugging the corners of your lips upwards.

“Eternity sounds nice.”

In the days following your heart to heart with your Darkling, Aleksander had a Durast make you a ring infused with his mother’s finger bones. Your very own amplifier. He’d slid the dainty gold ring onto your little finger, too, murmuring the entire time about how he’d get you a prettier ring one day and how this one was just a reminder of his promise to marry you. And then he held up his own hand to show you his own little gold ring, sitting upon his little finger as well.

It was a pretty ring. Really. It was gold and made to look like a willow branch, fashioned after the tree he vowed to marry you underneath. He always was one for symbolism.

You sat and admired the metal on your finger while sitting atop the desk in yours and Aleksander’s shared bedroom. Most of the other Grisha that were usually around were out on a mission, and Aleksander was hiding out somewhere, using the tether to provoke Alina, as he so often did. The sound of metal clattering startled you and you slowly climbed off of the desk and walked to your door. You pushed it open and looked around the hallway. No one was there, and no one should have been there to make something fall, that was for certain. You stepped out of your bedroom and eyed the halls once more suspiciously before you shook your head.

“Hello?” You called out, expecting exactly what you got in return, which was silence. You stepped out further into the hall and you began to slowly walk towards the makeshift laboratory to find Vladim, who had likely stayed behind, not one for the organized attack on the Lantsovs. The sudden sound of glass smashing and things clattering to the floor made you freeze in the middle of the hall and you raised your hands up, the unforgivingly cold light of the moon beginning to light up your hands. The strong electric feeling that came along with your new amplifier travelled up your spine and out towards your fingers, sending a bright surge of light up through them.

Out from around the corner, Baghra and Genya walked towards you in tandem. Baghra looked complacent while on the other hand, Genya looked furious. You hadn’t directly looked at Genya since she’d been maimed by the nichevo'ya, and now that you were looking directly at her, you felt a small bit of pity fill your head.

“Stop right there!” You called at the two of them.

Baghra did. Genya did not. Instead, the Tailor marched towards you and you raised your hand up higher as if you were loading an arrow with one hand.

“Genya, I do not want to use my power on you. Stop where you are, now.” You commanded, standing your ground.

She did not reply, and she did not stop, either, until she was nearly three feet away from you.

“Look at me,” She seethed and pointed at her face, “Look at me and know this is your doing. I never thought you’d lose your compassion. Your kindness. But every single day that passes, you become more and more like your Darkling.” She growled and you shook your head.

“You are a fool, Genya Safin.” You breathed and then lowered your hand just a bit, “You are the only one to blame for your misfortune. And when we find David, you’ll be the only one to blame for his misfortunes, too.” You chided and watched a look of worry cross her face.

“You’ve lost your heart.” She said harshly and then jabbed you in the chest with her finger, “You have allowed The Darkling to rip it from your chest and blacken it. We grew up together, Y/n! We served the Queen together! How could you have just turned your back on me? I needed you!” She shouted and you lowered both of your hands entirely.

“My heart is as bountiful as it needs to be. Blackened or not. You betrayed and abandoned the Darkling, therefore you have betrayed and abandoned me.” You said flatly, gazing at her with the same look you’d give a non-compliant child.

“You love a made up man. He will never love you back. He is using you. The same way he used Alina, you’re just too arrogant to believe that you’re being played with. You are but a piece in his infinite game of power.”

She wanted you to doubt him. But you knew better. You saw sides of him that no one else got to, that no one else needed to.

“Don’t make me maim you further, Genya. You might have to find a strength greater than your beauty if you keep pushing me.” You said coldly.

This had her eyes blazing angrily and she reached for you, grabbing onto the lapels of your kefta.

You brought your hand up to shoot a beam of moonlight through her chest, but you were stopped, something cold and clammy tugging your wrist backwards. You looked up to see a thick tendril of shadow around your wrist and you looked at Baghra who now had her own hands raised. You furrowed your brow angrily as you watched the old woman and you went to raise your other hand, and in the struggle you didn’t even see Genya reach up to grab the side of your head until you felt her fingers in your hair. She swung your head near the wall and you pushed back with all your might, but she kept trying to make contact between your head and the wall. You growled in frustration and tried to fight her off with your free hand, but another shadow wrapped itself around your free wrist, and before you could even protest, your head was being slammed ferociously into the wall, and blackness consumed your vision.

You weren’t sure how long you had been unconscious, and furthermore, you weren’t even sure of where you were, because when you woke up, you were behind iron bars on a gravel floor. The room around you was dim, and it looked like it had been carved out from a cave. You went to touch the side of your head that throbbed painfully, only to find that your hands were bound and separated by a beam of wood. You let out a frustrated groan and you slammed the wood between your hands against the bars, but it hardly even dented.

“There is absolutely no point in trying, girl. You are getting a taste of what it’s like to be a prisoner.”

You groaned again and lifted your head to see Baghra walk shakily into the space beyond the bars in front of you.

“Mm, abduction is your thing now?” You asked sardonically as you looked up at the scraggly haired woman. A sharp pain shot through the side of your head where you’d been hit and you winced slightly, your vision blurring just temporarily.

“I wasn’t fond of the idea but sometimes we have to do things we aren’t fond of in the name of what’s right.” She answered with a shrug and she sat down on a stool about six feet away from you, and you loathed how there were bars in your way of tackling the woman to the ground.

“So your grand idea is keeping me locked up? And then what? I’m not the threat you think I am.”

“No, not a threat. More like… bait. But I wouldn’t expect you to recognize when you’re being used. You haven’t thus far, why start now?” Baghra droned and your lips twitched angrily.

“Your plan is listless. Aleksander will tear you and anyone else apart to ensure my safe return.”

“You overestimate your importance to my son.”

“On the contrary. I think I underestimate it at times.”

The two of you were locked in an intense stare for a long time before she finally waved her hand dismissively.

“Well, only time can tell.” She conceded and slowly stood up. She didn’t say another word as she exited the room, and you didn’t care to speak either, so instead you watched as she left, sneering in her wake.

You were unsure of how long you sat in silence in that dim little room, but it surely had been a few hours before you heard gravel crunching underneath a pair of footsteps. You looked up spitefully to see Alina standing across the room with a deep frown on her lips, and at her side was unmistakably her little orphan friend, Mal. You eyed the two of them contemptuously and said nothing as Alina approached you. Instead of using the stool Baghra sat upon, the girl knelt in front of the bars and she placed her hands against them, a sadness pooling within her eyes.

“I remember when you saved my life. I’ve always so admired you for that.” She said quietly, wrapping her fingers around the shabby iron bars between the two of you.

You didn’t say anything in return. Instead, you shifted your gaze to the wall adjacent to you and you shook your head once.

“Y/n, I know this is hard to hear, it was for me as well, but you are being used. You are being manipulated. You’re stronger than this, look at you. You harness the power of the moon. Our powers are supposed to work in tandem. We are supposed to work in tandem. Please don’t let your potential be reduced to just another thing Kirigan desecrates and throws aside.” Alina whispered and reached through the bars to touch your arm.

You shied away from her fingers and you looked up at her, staring her down as if she were as maimed as Genya.

“It’s okay to be scared. But I really need you to trust me.” She added and pulled her arm back to her side.

“How long have I been here?” You asked her, looking down at your sore wrists. Surely they were raw by now.

“Almost a week. We had to keep you unconscious until we were sure you were securely… locked up.” She said with a frown.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, laying your bound hands out across your thighs.

“This is ridiculous. You are begging for a death sentence.” You mumbled.

“Right. And so are you and The Darkling. Trust me when I say, we will deliver.” Mal snapped, and it was the first time you’d heard him speak. You eyed the tall, dark haired boy and your lips curled upwards into a little smirk.

“Try, otkazat'sya.” You challenged and you watched Mal’s face darken as he took a step forward.

“She’s hopeless, Alina. He’s fried her head. Whatever friend you knew now belongs to Kirigan. Just do as the old woman says and get her out so we can get going. She won’t help us willingly so she can follow us as our leverage.” Mal remarked stuffily and he crossed his arms over his chest, his dark eyes raking over you in disdain.

“And just where do you think I’ll be following you?” You asked rigidly, looking to Alina this time.

She hesitated in answering, her eyes shifting down to the gravel floor. You could tell she didn’t want to be in this mess, and neither did you. However, you’d be more inclined to be kind to her if her main objective wasn’t to kill your lover.

“We are going to find Morozova’s workshop, and you are coming with us. We hoped as an ally, but Baghra warned us that you might not be so interested in being an ally.”

“Ah. Well, I’ll have to politely decline. I will not be going with you.” You drawled and dug your heels into the gravel beneath your feet.

“You don’t really get a say in the matter.” Mal snapped and you looked up at him through narrowed eyes.

“You sure talk bravely for someone so mortal.” You replied and he took another step forward and raised his thick brows.

“And you sure act like you’re important enough for Kirigan to smite me over so perhaps we are both wrong.” he replied and you watched as Alina reached up and placed a hand on his leg to silence him.

She gave him a sad look and then shook her head a few times.

“Mal.” She warned and then nodded back at you, “She’s not the enemy.”

But you were… weren’t you?

It was probably best for them to keep believing you weren’t, though. Keep yourself unassuming and secure feeling.

You glanced down at your hand and almost let out a breath of relief when you saw your ring still sitting around your finger. The only explanation you had was that they didn’t know it was your amplifier, and if that was the case, you had to keep it that way.

To keep yourself unassuming, indeed.

The next few days were uneventful. You had spent most of your time on a horse, your hands still held apart. Your entire body was stiff and at the end of the day when you were allowed off of the horse, walking was a daunting task all on its own.

Hardly anyone said anything important around you, and the journey was quiet and awkward. However, the night before last- the first night of your journey- you had heard Alina speaking to Mal and Baghra when they believed you to be asleep. It wasn’t of much importance, but she did say that Aleksander had been the most unstable she’d ever seen him the last time she reached out to him through the tether. Baghra had assured her that they were not going to be stopped by him, but Alina seemed on edge and quietly tried to suggest leaving you behind to find your way back to him.

That was the night you had started trying to create your own tether with Aleksander. It’s mostly all you had put your energy into for the last few days, desperate to hear his voice at the very least. You weren’t afraid that anyone was going to hurt you. Alina wouldn’t in spite of her big heart, Baghra wouldn’t because you knew deep down she knew you cared fiercely for her son, and Mal… you weren’t sure about. But he didn’t scare you. If anything, he just vexed you beyond all reason.

The two others led their horses on foot while Mal was pulling the one you were on. He hadn’t so much as looked at you once that day. Bitter little orphan.

“You know, if you spent even half as much time smiling as you did brooding and being a grump, you might actually start to have the inkling of a personality.” You remarked down at the boy. At first you thought he was going to ignore you some more, but you watched in surprise as he shook his head.

“I’ll take brooding and grumpy over being The Darkling’s zealot, time and time again.” He replied, not looking over his shoulder at you once.

You rolled your eyes and wished you could kick him in the back, and you willed him to come a little closer to the horse so that you could. But he never did, much to your disappointment.

“I believe my feelings for him to be no different than your own for Alina. I mean, we’re both putting our trust and loyalty into something otherworldly. The only difference is, this side of the world has never scared me as it has you.” You remarked, feeling a sense of accomplishment when you watched his fist tighten on the reins.

He said nothing for a while, the only sound now was Baghra and Alina chatting ahead and the sound of twigs and gravel crunching underneath your horse’s hooves. You didn’t expect him to speak again, so you closed your eyes and prepared yourself to connect with Aleksander once again.

Mal’s voice stopped you.

“At the risk of feeding into your delusion, I believe that we are entirely different. Look, I know you aren’t a bad person. His crimes aren’t on your hands, Alina tells me of your kindness when she came to the palace. How could you have betrayed her after saving her life?”

“I didn’t betray Alina. I simply chose my side, just as she chose hers. That doesn’t… I don’t have to justify myself to you, boy. You know as well as I do that when you care deeply for someone, a lot of things such as reason or morality tend to fade into grey little lines that are easily blurred.” You remarked.

This time he really didn’t answer. And you were fine with that.

You closed your eyes again and went back into your mind, doing everything you could to find a way to Aleksander. You almost groaned with frustration nearly half an hour later when nothing had happened.

You both had Baghra’s bones as an amplifier. You both wore the same thin gold rings on your littlest fingers. Surely that had to be enough.

It didn’t seem as if it was, though.

You wanted to reach for your ring, but the bar between your hands stopped you and you frowned and clenched your fists tightly, balling them up against your thighs. You took a deep breath and decided to try again.

You closed your eyes slowly and focused on the band around your pinky finger. You focused on how it was cold, how the patterns on it pressed against the side of your ring finger. You felt a small buzz at the very back of your mind and you grit your teeth and chased it, breathing heavily. You focused on him. The thought of him, the feeling of his hand against yours, the sound of his voice, and the starless black glittering of his eyes. The blankness behind your eyes began to shift into something blurry and misshapen. It focused and refocused hundreds of times before the picture in your mind became the blurry from your shared bedroom.

Your stomach filled with warm anticipation and you took a long, deep breath and willed yourself into the room. The second you moved forward into the room, it was as if everything around you changed. You could no longer feel your sore body nor could you feel the horse beneath you. The air felt warm and soothing against your cheeks, and it was a different feeling than the chilly air that had been biting at your face for the past few days. Your steps were soundless as you moved further into the room and your eyes fell on Aleksander as he stood by his window. His hands were gripping the windowsill so tightly that the skin over his knuckles was pulled taut and colored white. His hands shook underneath the intense pressure of which he held the windowsill with and you didn’t have to see his face to know his jaw was clenched.

You spoke his name, but the sound seemed to get lost, because you didn’t hear it, and he didn’t seem to either. You felt a twinge of disappointment and you took a long breath and refocused completely on him, speaking his name again.

This time, you could hear it. It sounded like a faint, distorted echo. One that he still couldn’t seem to hear.

You clenched your fists as tightly as you could and you focused on the ring on your finger, on the man in front of you, on the very emotional connection you two shared, and you finally spoke his name one more time.

Your voice was fully audible to your own ears now, and you had definitely gotten his attention, because he spun around from the window and his eyes fixed themselves on you. There was a vast collection of emotions that flickered through his eyes, ranging from surprise, to relief, worry, anger, and then finally something else that you couldn’t name at first but you eventually came to recognize it as guilt and sadness.

“Y/n.” He breathed and strode towards you determinedly. He reached out to pull you towards him, but his hand only went right through you.

It took him just a moment to recover from the confused look that painted itself over his face, but when he did, his eyes flooded with realization.

“You aren’t here. Not really.” He whispered sadly, his big, dark eyes glossing over with a layer of unshed tears.

“No. But I’ve been trying to reach out to you this way for days, and I haven’t been able to. This is the first time it’s worked!” You exclaimed excitedly and then you smiled up at him.

He did his best to give you a proud smile, but you could see there was a heavy sorrow lingering in his eyes.

“Oh, you’re such an intelligent girl. So gifted.” He said softly.

You wanted to touch him. You wanted him to take you in his arms. You missed him.

“Aleksander, I don’t like being away from you.” You whispered and you watched him shatter before you with those words.

He closed his eyes and reached up to rub them with the sides of his hands and he let out a slow sigh.

“My darling, where are you? I will find you and I will bring you home. I will kill anyone who stands in my way; anyone who tries to stop me.” His face was almost pained and you frowned.

“I don’t know where we are. I just know we have set out to find Morozova’s workshop.” You stated.

Exhaustion started to seep into your head and you were finding it hard to keep the connection going. You knew you were not as powerful as Alina and Aleksander, and this was taking almost all of the energy and power you had, and it didn’t help that you couldn’t even use your hands.

“We? Who is we? Who is with you?” He asked sharply and he leaned closer to you. His eyes studied your face and he frowned, “Angel, you look so tired. You need your rest, this must be taking so much out of you.” He whispered and you shook your head.

You struggled to piece your thoughts together so that you could answer him, but eventually you pushed through and were able to elaborate.

“We… Alina, Mal, Baghra.” You mumbled.

He gave you a little nod and then he frowned even more. He looked as if your struggle pained him.

And it did.

Seeing you this way pained him more than he cared to admit, and the week without you had been one of the hardest of his entire life. It was as if he could feel every single second passing. All he could do is hope that his Grisha would find you, hope that you were safe, and then fantasize about how he would enact painful revenge on anyone who dared lay their hands on you. He would have his revenge on those who took you away from him.

“Darling, stop trying to keep the connection going. You’ve done so much already, and I am so proud of you. Seeing that you are unharmed is the greatest relief to me at this moment. Rest now, don’t exhaust yourself. I will find you, everything is going to be alright. Do you trust me?” He asked softly and gazed down upon your face.

You gave him a nod and he gave you a watery smile in return.

“Sweet little girl, you have made me so proud today. I love you. Know that I will find you. I swear it.” He vowed in a whisper and you looked into his eyes one last time before you felt the connection slip.

It was like a rope, pulled in two different directions being cut in the middle. Your eyes snapped open instantly and you gasped, nearly falling off of the horse. You steadied yourself quickly and you had to readjust to the brightness of the outdoors. You blinked a few times and looked around to see that you had stopped moving, and Mal was staring up at you, along with Baghra and Alina.

Alina looked a bit paler and she turned to Baghra with a worried expression.

“I knew this was not a good idea, Baghra. I-“

Baghra cut her off with a wave of her hand and she eyed you contemptuously, her beady eyes fixing themselves on you in an accusatory way.

“You, too, can connect with my son it seems.”

You didn’t respond, instead you jutted your chin out as if you were an indignant child and you looked away from them, gazing off over to your left.

“Foolish girl. You think he’s going to save you? He won’t give himself up, even for you.” Baghra said haughtily and you shook your head once, not saying anything.

“Look, we need to get inside.” Mal stated and then looked up at you, “But she can’t come. If she’s able to speak with Kirigan then she can’t be anywhere near whatever is in there. Then whatever we find out, so does he.”

You snorted and looked back over at the three of them.

“What was the point in bringing me, then? This was easily a three person job. I think, Baghra, that deep down, you did expect Aleksander to come for me. You wanted to isolate him from his Grisha out in the middle of nowhere, then you would’ve had your chance to stop him. But now that he hasn’t come, you are flailing.” You theorized and then you shook your head with contempt.

No one said anything for a long time. You knew you were right. They knew you were right. No one wanted to speak. Baghra didn’t want to admit her idea had been a farce, Alina was anxious, and perhaps Mal just had nothing to say.

But as usual, the boy finally did find something to say.

“Get down.” He commanded and you held your hands up and shook them a few times.

“Can’t really dismount a horse on my own without my hands.” You said in a bored tone, and Mal scoffed in annoyance, but his irritation didn’t stop him from reaching up and grabbing your waist. He easily lifted you off of the horse, and instead of setting you on your feet, he gingerly dropped you before making sure you were steady.

You fell onto your knees in the fallen leaves and the dirt and you winced. You didn’t have even a moment to recover and stand before Mal grabbed you by your upper arms and dragged you to a tree next to a large rock. He pushed your side up against the tree and you yelped, the rough bark biting into your cheek.

“Give me the rope.” He instructed and Alina hesitated for a moment before she reluctantly untied one of the ropes from one of the horses and brought it over to Mal.

You looked up at the tall, lanky boy and you shook your head.

“Just let me go. You don’t need me, I don’t need any of you. Please.” You said exasperatedly and he gave you a hard look before he pushed you down onto your knees. Your knee collided with one of the tree’s protruding roots and you groaned quietly, leaning your head up against the side of the tree.

Mal looped the end of the rope up underneath one of your shackles and knotted it many times before he tied the other end around the slender tree. He gave the rope a hard tug and when it didn’t budge, he stepped back and looked down at you with disgust.

You mirrored his expression to a T and then sneered.

Your eyes wandered past him and you looked at what seemed to be large rock formation on the side of a hill, but upon closer examination, there was a door. It was much like the stone doors you’d find at a tomb, and there were branches and vines shrouding the entryway. Small stone steps led up to the door and your three delightful travel companions slowly turned away from you and walked towards the workshop.

You looked down at your raw wrists and you gave the rope a few sharp little tugs before you let out a grunt and leaned your back up against the tree. You needed Aleksander. You needed to speak to him again. If only you weren’t so damn exhausted.

Your entire body ached and you could hear Baghra speaking faintly behind you. You closed your eyes as tightly as you could and tried to muster enough energy to connect with your lover once again.

You couldn’t.

You opened your eyes after a while and realized that you couldn’t hear anyone any longer, and you turned to look over your shoulder to see that Mal, Alina, and Baghra had disappeared. Likely into the workshop. You scooted over in the dirt and leaves until you were up against the rock and you laid your arms down on top of it and laid your head against your arms as if you were laying your head upon a desk. You stretched your hand out a bit and then felt something sharp catch your palm.

“Ouch!” You hissed and sat up. You glanced down at a rather sharp edge on the rock and then looked down at your now bleeding palm that had been sliced open. You slowly turned your head back towards the sharp, serrated edge of the rock and then you glanced at your shackles. You quickly rose up on your knees and leaned over the side of the rock and brought the middle of the wooden beam down on the sharp edge of the rock. You pushed down against it with all of your might and began to drag it back and forth rapidly, trying to saw through the wood. After a few grueling moments of this, you stopped and let out a little whimper.

Your wrists were raw and sore against their metal shackles and your arms ached terribly. But you had made some progress. The rock had indeed began to cut into the wood and there was a small split in the wooden beam, about one quarter of an inch deep. Staring at the split in the wood filled you with determination and you brought the beam back down on the edge of the rock and continued to drag it back and forth as hard and as fast as you could. Your wrists protested with every movement, but you didn’t stop.

You had almost gotten past cutting halfway through the beam when the scraping of stone stopped you. You quickly scrambled back down on the ground as if you were sitting there the entire time and you stayed still and silent. After a moment, you turned to see Mal and Baghra standing in front of the workshop. Baghra passed Mal a blade and you tried to make out what they were saying but couldn’t hear anything more than their faint vocal tones. You watched as Baghra cut Mal on his hand and he slowly turned and pressed his hand against the stone door, which slid shut. Mal jumped back, startled, and he slowly stepped away from Baghra and the door, looking frantic.

You turned your attention away from the two of them and instead looked back at the wooden beam that held your hands apart. You pursed your lips and you put the beam over your knee and tried to snap it, pulling your wrists down as hard as you could before you let out a shriek and stopped immediately, your wrists now bleeding from all of the friction against your raw skin.

You heard Alina cry out from inside the workshop and you turned to watch Mal dash inside. Baghra didn’t follow. Instead she came towards you hurriedly. She used the blade in her hands to cut the rope off of the tree and she grabbed your arm.

“Come with me, girl.” She said flatly and pulled you to your feet.

You complied silently and glanced at the severance in the wooden beam. All you had to do was wait for the right moment. You followed Baghra inside of the workshop and the two of you joined Mal in the doorway to one of the rooms.

Mal went to run for Alina, but with the hand she didn’t have on you, Baghra grabbed onto Mal with and she shook her head.

“Don’t break the connection!” She commanded.

“You said she’s not strong enough to face him!” Mal protested.

You looked past Mal to see Alina surrounded by an electric blue light and you widened your eyes. Aleksander was here.

“Exactly.” Baghra said to Mal calmly and stepped in front of him, leaving you behind.

You eyed Baghra warily as she grabbed a torch off of the wall and walked towards Alina, who was struggling against the wall, held there by the telepathic presence of Aleksander.

“I will end this once and for all. Once I’ve killed my son, my time here is done.” Baghra said sternly and tossed the torch into a bin of scrolls, “All this goes with me.” She finished and you let out a wail.

“You’re heartless!” You cried out, realizing what she was about to attempt to do, “He is your son, Baghra!” You screamed and tried to run at her, but Mal stopped you and pushed you down to the floor, where you landed in a graceless heap of limbs.

“You know what you have to do. And close the door on your way out.” Baghra said to Mal as the room began to go up in flames, “And leave the Moon Summoner here with me.”

Baghra approached Alina and you slowly sat up and turned to the shackles on your wrists. You had to break out of them, there was no question about it now. You began to slam the split in the wood against the rock walls and you let out a scream that was born of pain and determination.

Alina dashed past you, and you assumed Baghra had freed her from Aleksander, and Mal was now dragging her out of the workshop, trying to convince her to leave Baghra behind. The old woman now stood at the far side of the room in a trance, her head tipped upwards in focus.

“The Firebird!” Alina said in a panic and jumped towards the burning table.

“I know where the Firebird is!” Mal shouted, “We have to go!” He said and yanked her towards the door.

“No! Y/n, Mal we can’t leave her!” She cried and you looked up at Alina who was standing a few yards away from you, trying to break free of Mal’s grasp.

“Alina, cut your losses. She is not your friend, we need to go!”

You eyed her sadly and you let out a little sniffle, looking up at her. The room grew hotter as the flames grew closer to you and you shook your head once, looking down at the floor.

“Mal, she’s innocent, please!”

But her begging was futile, because Mal only gave you one last look, a cocky little sneer, and then yanked Alina from the workshop.

You heard the scraping of stone and knew that the door had been closed.

You cried out in frustration, tears pooling in your eyes and you banged the wooden beam against the wall, even harder now. You didn’t realize you were screaming until your throat felt hoarse and you coughed, smoke filling your lungs.

This couldn’t be how you died. You refused. But your body had different plans. Exhaustion washed over you, trying to pull you into its sea. You were so tired. Everything hurt. You were almost tempted to lay down and let the warm flames consume you until you remembered Baghra. She was aiming to kill Aleksander.

With one final burst of determined energy, you slammed the beam down on the jagged edge of the wall a few more times before you heard a snap. You looked down at your hands to find them separated. Still shackled, but separated.

Quickly, you scrambled upwards with a burst of adrenaline just in time to see Baghra collapse. She turned her head slowly and her eyes met yours, blood dribbling from the corner of her lips.

“Stupid girl. Though it will never be enough, thank you for loving my stupid boy.” She murmured, and you could hardly hear her over the roar of the fire.

You looked down at her in disgust and you shook your head.

“One of us had to.” You spat and then you brought your right hand up to your lips. You placed a little kiss on the gold ring upon your little finger and then you let out an ear shattering yell, bringing your hands together in a sharp clap that resonated even louder than the fire.

Silver light flooded the entire workshop and turned each flame into a blazing beam of the moon. You held your hands together and squinted to see, but within seconds, there was nothing but bright, bright light and then an earth shaking crash.

You fell to your knees dizzily, unsure of what just happened and your eyes rolled backwards into your head as you slumped sideways and finally let your exhaustion drag you away from the present.

There was a loud ringing in your ears, and you could feel a cool breeze dusting across your cheeks. Your throat was dry and your tongue was like sandpaper against the top of your mouth. You willed yourself to open your eyes and you stared straight up at the grey sky above you.

Your body was sore everywhere, but you couldn’t ignore the tingling, electric sensation that coursed through your veins. You weakly pushed yourself up and felt rubble tumble off of your chest as you did. The workshop laid in ruins around you and there were still little traces of silvery light, fizzling out slowly like smothered flames. You took in the ruin around you and you blinked a few times.

You did this. You had destroyed this entire cavelike workshop. You would’ve been a bit more giddy if you weren’t covered in bleeding cuts and sensitive bruises. A strange sense of pride swelled in your chest and you very slowly hoisted yourself up with a grunt, grabbing onto a fragment that remained of the wall to steady yourself. You looked around the mess slowly and your eyes settled on a hand that protruded out from underneath a pile of stone.

Baghra.

You stared down at her for a long time and then finally you tore your eyes away from her rock burial.

If she was dead, it could mean two things. Aleksander’s mother had killed him, or he had killed his mother.

With a grunt, you walked away from the ruins of the workshop and approached the nearest tree. You leaned heavily up against it and took a few long, deep breaths before you closed your eyes and reached up awkwardly to hold onto your ring with your opposite hand.

It was much easier this time to establish a connection with Aleksander, you simply pictured him in your mind and let your power do the rest. When you opened your eyes, you stood behind him in what appeared to be a tent. He was hunched over on his knees and seemed to be in pain, but you couldn’t deny the relief you felt to know that he was alive.

“Aleksander.” You breathed.

You knew he had heard you by the way his head perked up a bit, but he didn’t turn towards you.

“Sweet Moon Saint. Are you really there or have you come back through my head?” He asked in a low, ragged tone.

“I’m not there. Not yet. I just had to know if you were alive.” You said quietly and watched as his shoulders rolled back a bit. He never did turn around, though.

“Mm, alive, yes. I was very worried about you. My mother told me you were going to die for my sins. It seems ironic to me that now she’s the only one that’s perished for them.” He said in a deadpan.

“My love, where can I find you?” You asked softly and he let out a sigh.

“You sound terrible. You sound tired. You sound hoarse. What have they done to you?” He asked, hanging his head.

“I am fine, Aleksander. Please, I need to come to you. Tell me where you are.” You pleaded and he very slowly turned his head toward you.

“Keramzin. You’ll find my encampment. Please, please my love, do not leave me alone on this earth. Fight tooth and nail if you must, but return to me. You must return to me.”

“I will.” You promised.

Always.

The journey to Keramzin had been a brief one, and you were thankful for that. You weren’t sure how your body hadn’t given out, but after hobbling through the mountains for nearly a day, you came across a little farm and stole a horse from its stables.

After that, it was a straight shot. You made it to Keramzin in only six days and it was easy to locate Aleksander’s camp. You slowly rode up on your horse towards the camp, and two large Heartrenders ran towards you to stop you before recognition crossed their faces. They both bowed their heads to you and whispered your name.

Sankta Y/n.

Your hair was in tangles and your face was polluted with dried blood and dirt and your kefta and dress were torn and caked with mud. You looked terrible.

But you also looked formidable.

Perched high upon your horse, broken shackles still around your wrists, wounded, but sitting straight with your shoulders squared nonetheless.

“Take me to The General.” You commanded and slid off of the horse, landing on your feet, a painful shock going through your entire body as you hit the ground.

You followed the two Heartrenders through the field and around a handful of tents before you saw him. His back was turned to you and he stood at the precipice of a dead little meadow, and across from this meadow was a shabby home. Likely an orphanage or an inn, you reasoned. Fruzsi stood a few paces behind him, and as you approached, she turned around and let out a gasp. Your eyes met hers and she bowed her head immediately.

“You’ve returned.” She said softly, relief evident in her tone.

“I always will.” You said gauntly and then stepped past her.

You continued on towards Aleksander, and when you reached him, you slid your hands around his arm and fastened yourself to his side before you completely leaned against him, your legs giving out.

He didn’t even need to look at you, he recognized your touch the second you grabbed his arm. He turned towards you and in one swift movement, hooked an arm underneath your knees and lifted you off of the ground and into his arms.

Silently, you wrapped your arms around his neck and tucked your face in the spot between his shoulder and his throat, breathing in his scent. He wordlessly tightened his grip on you and he buried his face in your hair. The two of you stayed like that for a very long time, silent. The only sounds between the two of you were sighs, sharp inhales, and exhales.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Aleksander moved his face away from your hair and he gazed down at you as you laid in his arms, weary.

“I love you.” He whispered, dipping his head down so that he was close to your face.

You turned your head so that you could look up at him properly and you leaned up to nudge your nose against his.

“Aleksander.” You whimpered and he nodded once.

“I know. Never again. You will never be away from my side again.” He promised and you gave him a little nod, your eyelids growing heavy.

He watched as you fought to stay awake in his arms and he turned towards the crowd of his Grisha. He glanced at Fruzsi and then he jerked his head towards his tent, “Draw the Moon Summoner a bath immediately. Have an Inferni heat it. Get me a Durast so we can get these dreadful things off of her wrists. Waste no time, she is in pain.” He ordered and Fruzsi ran off in a frenzy.

Within only half an hour, you already had a Durast remove the shackles from your wrists safely and you now sat in a deep metal bathtub, filled with hot water. Aleksander knelt by the side of the tub and kept his eyes on you the entire time you laid in the water. You looked over at him and he reached up towards you slowly to tuck a piece of damp hair behind your ear.

“Aleksander, what did your mother do? When she claimed she was going to kill you.” You asked quietly.

He sucked in a deep breath for a long time before he blew it out and then he gave you a very small, very sad smile.

“She told me she was going to burn you alive, then she… permanently severed the connection between Alina and I.” He answered and then held up his right hand.

It was deep grey and glinted metallically in the low light of his tent. You stared at it for a moment before you looked up at him, a little frown tugging your lips downwards.

“I should have stopped her, Aleksander, I’m so sorry-“

“Do not. No. You will not apologize. You couldn’t have done anything. Judging from your state now and even when you called on me the second time, you were in no condition to stop her. I am simply grateful that you are alive and you have returned to me.” He explained in a soft voice and you reached out of the tub to gently take his new hand in your own.

You intertwined your fingers with his and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the edge of the metal tub. He allowed you to hold his hand for only a few minutes before he pulled away from you and stood up. You opened your eyes and looked up at him as he shed his kefta and a few other layers until he was only in his base shirt, a loose fitting black shirt made of silk. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and he knelt back down next to you and he held his hand out to you and nodded towards it.

“Hand me the cloth, my dear.” He instructed softly and you reached down into the water to search for the cloth that had been in the tub with you. You found it a moment later and then brought it out of the water, wringing the excess water out of it, and you dropped it in his hand.

He made a pleased humming sound and he grabbed your arm and lifted it up towards him. With a touch as soft and light as the silk of his shirt, he began to clean your skin with the cloth.

You watched his scarred face as he bathed you, and the sight broke your heart in the best way. He looked so serene and so peaceful, making his features softer and you swore you had caught a glimpse of boyish innocence in the sincerity on his face. The world had been so cruel to him for five centuries, and despite it all, he’d allowed himself to love you; allowed you to love him.

Your eyes glittered with tears and they began to fall freely down your cheeks while you watched him wash your arms and your legs, being especially tender with the places that had little bruises or scrapes. His touches were usually selfish, driven by his own need to have you close to him, but as he touched you now, there was nothing but selflessness behind his actions. When he moved up with the intent to clean your face, your tears made his face fall as he shook his head.

“As beautifully as you cry, I have half a mind to let you continue, however, the sight breaks my heart. What pains you?” He asked softly and reached up with the cloth to very carefully wipe at your face.

“It is not pain. You are my greatest accomplishment.” You whispered and leaned into his hand as he wiped your cheek, “You are the best thing that I will have ever known in this life.” You added, your lips trembling as you forced them up into a smile.

He stilled his movement and he looked down into your eyes and simply shook his head before he went back to washing you. Once he had finished cleaning you up and washing your hair, he stood up and rolled his sleeves back down. He pulled all of his shed clothes back on, along with his kefta and he grabbed a large, thick towel off of the table he stood near. He came back to the tub and held it open, looking down at you.

“Can you stand, darling?” He asked softly and you nodded. You grabbed the edges of the tub and very slowly pulled yourself up.

Before you could even step out of the tub, Aleksander wrapped the towel around your upper body and lifted you out of the water. Your bare legs broke out in goosebumps and you held onto his shoulders as he carried you to his bed. Once he sat you down, he readjusted the towel around your body and he knelt in front of you.

“You claim I am your greatest accomplishment. The best thing you’ll know. But you are mine. My greatest accomplishment, the best thing I’ll ever know. My peace. My sweet peace in the middle of the turmoil and chaos that is my long life. You are the truest kindness I’ve ever been shown, and whatever sent you to me knows I don’t deserve you, but Saints, I will try everyday.” He murmured and laid his head down against your thighs as he knelt before you.

You reached up and threaded your fingers through his hair and stroked it gently.

You looked down at him as he laid on your thighs and your chest ached with adoration for the man that was before you. No one else mattered anymore, how could they?

Alina had told you that you and her were meant to operate in tandem, but the sunlight is no place for the moon, and moonlight has no business with the sun.

No, you and the Sun Summoner had no business working alongside one another, because Aleksander had been right when he said that the moon needs the darkness to shine.

Moonlight needs shadows.

In all your life, you’d never imagined your death.

You’d never felt as if you’d die.

But you probably wouldn’t ever have imagined it would happen this way.

You stood by Aleksander’s side in the middle of The Fold. Alina and Mal had created a bubble around them, keeping the volcra out. Keeping the darkness out. Your hand was tightly closed around Aleksander’s and you held a bright beam of moonlight in your other hand, eyes fixed on Mal and Alina.

It all had happened so fast.

One moment Aleksander was pulling you against his side and Mal was shooting at the creatures of darkness that threatened to come in and wreak havoc inside the little bubble of light. The next moment, you were making eye contact with Mal. His face twisted in a feral anger, and he spun his gun towards you and shot it just as Aleksander dropped your hand to summon his Cut.

You didn’t even realize you’d been shot until warmth began to spread over your chest. You looked down to see the silver embroidery on your black kefta turning red with your blood, and that’s when you felt the pain. A hot, sharp ache bloomed through your chest and you fell backwards, head thumping against the sand. You’d been shot in the place between both of your collarbones, between the tiniest opening in your bulletproof kefta.

How capricious this universe can be, you thought.

Everything around you seemed like it was happening underwater, and you felt something shift next to you. You very slowly turned your head to see Aleksander on the ground next to you, clutching his side. He had been wounded, too. By what? You weren’t sure.

You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing- if you could even call it that. Every breath you took felt shorter and shorter and you were losing awareness rapidly.

It took you a moment to register that your name was being screamed and you opened your eyes to see a blurry Aleksander knelt over you. Light of pink and blue was swirling around everywhere and he pulled you up into his arms as if you were a child and he cradled you against his chest as he rose to his feet. The world became brighter and brighter around you until there was no trace of shadow.

The Fold had fallen.

You weakly grabbed at Aleksander’s kefta as he held you and your eyes grew hot and burned with fat tears.

“Aleksander,” you whispered weakly and let out a pathetic, weak sounding sob, “Please do not let me die, I don’t want to die. Please, I don’t want to die.” You begged, and you watched his face contort painfully.

He ground his teeth together as he looked down at you and his own tears threatened to fall.

“You are not going to die, do you hear me? Everything will be alright. You’ll still be my queen, wed under the willow at midnight. Remember?”

You did remember and you wanted to tell him you remembered but your mouth didn’t seem to want to form the words and your head didn’t move when you willed yourself to nod.

He let out a broken choking noise and he shook his head rigorously.

“Don’t you dare. Do not leave me alone on this earth. Y/n! Don’t do it!” He called and sunk to his knees.

Your head weakly rolled backwards and he grabbed your jaw gently, forcing you to look up at him.

“Please. Do not go this way, my love. It is not your time to go.” He whimpered and you shakily reached up and laid your hand on top of his as he held your jaw.

“You… are my greatest accomplishment. The best thing that I have ever known in this life.” You mumbled and gave him a weak smile.

“Your life is not over!” He protested and then he pulled your head up to his, resting his forehead against yours, “You are too young, my love. You are meant to live centuries at my side. Please, I know you’re strong, I need you to…” he trailed off and stared down at you as you cried. He wanted to beg you to fight, but the look on your face stopped him.

Your face was full of fear and you were shaking in his arms.

He knew you weren’t going to survive, and filling you with that false hope was not fair. Was he even going to survive? Likely not. He was a selfish person, but he couldn’t be selfish with you. Letting you die in fear because he begged you to hold on wasn’t fair. He couldn’t be selfish now. Not while you slipped away in his arms. His chest ached in a way he never wished to feel again, and hopefully he wouldn’t have to. He placed one kiss against your lips and bumped the tip of his nose against yours.

“It’s okay, my beautiful moonbeam. You can let go. Close your eyes, angel. Close your eyes and let go, it’s okay. I won’t let go of you.” He whispered, his own tears falling onto your cheeks.

“I love you. I’m so proud of you.” You breathed, your hand weakly falling away from his.

“And I love you, little love. Rest now. No one can ever hurt you again. It’s okay to just rest.” He said, barely above a whisper. Your tears and his mixed together on your face and you closed your eyes slowly.

With the last bit of strength you had in your body, you moved up just slightly and pressed your lips against his, and you did your best to muffle the sob that came from his mouth with your own.

A bittersweet smile crossed your lips as you moved away from his lips and you laid your head comfortably against his arm.

“My love, my life.” You murmured and he took a sharp intake of air to prevent himself from crying more.

He knelt there on the sanded ground with you until he watched you draw your last breath and he leaned down to kiss your forehead, painfully aware of all of the eyes on his back.

“My love, my life.” He repeated against your skin.

He very carefully laid your body out over the sand and rose to his feet, turning to stare at Alina blankly. He looked over at Mal as he laid unmoving and Aleksander held his hand over his wound as he stood straight up.

“Now… you know sacrifice.” He breathed and watched Alina carefully.

Alina eyed him and then glanced at your lifeless body on the ground.

“I believe you do, too.” She spoke in a firm tone, “And look what said sacrifice did.”

“Indeed.” Aleksander replied blankly, willing himself to keep his eyes off of you, “Look what it did.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and she nodded once at him.

“Mal and I changed the world.” She said tearfully, a little smile on her face, “We tore down your Shadow Fold.”

“You have my sympathies for what comes next. When you realize that what you’ve done solves nothing. The world doesn’t need a Saint to protect it-“

“But you needed one. You just had to have a Saint. And look where it got her. Perhaps the world doesn’t need a Saint, but look what you have done to yours.” Alina shouted and pointed at you.

His eyes wandered towards you and he shook his head, holding his hand over the gash in his side caused by Alina’s Cut.

“Your Firebird did this. Not I.”

“No, she is dead because of the choices you made.” Alina stated, shaking her head just once.

“Choices you, too, will make in time.”

Alina jutted her chin up into the air and she balled her fists at her sides.

“I will never walk your path. And if you hadn’t carried her down it, she would never have walked yours either.”

“I know you believe that now-“ Aleksander stepped forward and let out a groan, holding his side with both hands, “But soon, you’ll have no equal. The years spent alone will grind you down, they will harden you. And who will be there to shield you from it? Who will be there to save you? I could have. Y/n could have.“

There was a long pause shared between the two of them, and Alina grasped his shoulder when Aleksander approached her unsteadily, still clasping his wound.

“I will save myself. Your legacy is already written. It always has been. No amount of love for or from a girl could save you from that truth. There is no redemption.” She gave his shoulder a hard shove and he fell to his knees in pain.

He let out a long, gasping growl, and one of his nichevo'ya poured out from his back, taking on a sinister form behind his kneeling body.

The creature grabbed Alina, by the throat and lifted her up and when Aleksander tried to stop it, the creature flung him backwards.

A blade came flying through the air and pierced the shadow form, sending it scattering into the air, and Alina fell from its grip. Aleksander pulled himself up off of the ground at the same time as Alina rose to her knees and he grunted.

He walked towards her and offered her his hand.

“You can’t control them, can you?” She asked shakily, “You can’t control any of it.”

“I thought I could control it all once.” He spoke and Alina eyed his outstretched hand as if it were a venomous snake and he continued on, a tear rolling down his cheek, “Find peace. And for a moment…” his eyes fell shut and he tipped his face up towards the sky, “I swear I did.”

He inhaled shakily and his mind flickered to you. Every little moment with you seemed to rise to the forefront of his mind. The first night he held you and lulled you to sleep, the night of the winter fete when you promised to stand with him forever, the afternoon just mere weeks ago when you two had whispered your first and most meaningful “i love you”s. Tears were steadily falling down his cheeks now, slipping through his closed eyelids while your sweet voice filled his ears, calling his name, singing him praises. In his mind, you weren’t laying on the sand with a bullet in your chest. Instead you were laying underneath the moonlit, starry sky with him, in a world where forever meant forever.

Not here. Not in this cruel place where you had to be the atonement for all his wrongdoing; the price he paid for the sins he committed.

This world was no place for you. He swore you were his Saint but as he imagined felt your touch on his face there in the middle of what used to be his Fold, he began to wonder if really you were an embodiment of The Moon itself. Graceful and beautiful in all endeavors.

He could hear you calling for him and he leaned forward to meet your call, further, further…

Until he could lean further no more because a blade had pierced his abdomen.

He laid his hands on top of Alina’s as she held the sword in his stomach and he looked up into her eyes as black blood fell from his lips.

“Thank you.” He mouthed.

She gave him one nod and withdrew her blade, sending him falling backwards onto the sand next to you.

He heard you call for him again, and you were closer this time, and he was ready to answer your call.

Alina stood over him and he let out a little cough before he sucked in whatever breath he could to speak.

“Alina. You make sure there is nothing left of me. But her… please see to it that she is buried underneath the willow tree just behind the Little Palace. Please. She deserves that much. Make sure she’s remembered as a Saint.” He begged, giving the Sun Summoner a little nod.

She gave him one nod in return and pursed her lips.

“For her, Aleksander. Not for you.” She whispered and he gave her a weak smile before he looked past her, up at the sky above.

“I hear her.” He breathed. And it was true. Your voice rang in his ears, singing his name.

“Go to her.” Alina commanded quietly, her voice softening only slightly.

So he did.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova #general kirigan

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pretty-toru · 1 year

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Satoru comes home at the first light of dawn. His entire body is riddled with fatigue from dealing with what came after escaping the prison realm. His limbs don't seem to want to move as he's standing inside your shared apartment just after he remembered to leave his shoes at the entrance. They're incredibly sluggish and they ache a dull pain and protest at every juncture, every twitch a spasm through his build but he chooses to ignore it.

"I'm home," Satoru says with as much normalcy as though he hadn't been gone for nineteen days, but he knows you've been missing him the whole time he failed to return. He sees the carefully wrapped dinner plate on the table left out for him with a note in case he came back hungry in the night with you sound asleep in the bedroom. The way his sweater tossed over the couch remains untouched because you're afraid you'll wash away what could possibly be the last scent of him.

As the bountiful autumn blossoms and foliage wrapped in paper crinkles in his hold, Satoru's determined to make up the last few weeks to you. He begins his steps with a heavy heart, the sense of serenity and familiarity slowly returning to him as he goes to search for you. When he finds you, he thinks you look a mess with your tousled hair and the slight touch of darkness under the eyes and he could tell you haven't slept very well without him. Even now as your brows are slightly furrowed and you seem almost restless in your stupor.

With a placid drop on the mattress, the weight was enough to jolt you awake but Satoru's hushes of "Hey, my sweet girl. It's alright, it's just me. I'm sorry I made you wait, I am back now," managed to calm you down as you gaze back at the delicate burst of heavenly blues. You think you're delirious but your shaky hand reaches to cup his face because in dreams you can't feel how soft and smooth his skin is, how the heat melts into your touch yet you're experiencing those very sensations you've longed and missed so dearly.

"Oh, it's really you. I've missed you so much, Satoru." You don’t hide the tears brimming in your eyes and lips becoming wobbly as you pull your lover impossibly close into a long anticipated hug. The comfort of his arms wrapped around you tightly and your face tucked into the crook of his neck as your breath falls softly on his chest feels like a sweet release of all your worries and grief knowing that he's safe in your arms and nothing else in the world matters.

"Are those for me? But the florists aren't even open yet." You nod at the lovely arrangement of flowers he had placed aside after tenderly holding each other until you both feel like one. But considering business hours are still a while away you have to wonder how he manages to get his way just to impress you.

"I hope you know this handsome face always gets an exception." You like that he's still the same Satoru you know and love that says dumb and funny things so you savor every moment you can with him. The gentle and playful eye-roll you give him which is always followed by the sound of your sweet laughter makes him swoon. "I couldn't show up empty handed and the ones I got you last time seem pretty wilted so it's about time to change them out, right?"

"I'm glad you remembered. Thank you, I love it."

#it’s not much but here’s my little offering to reunion fics 🤍#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk imagines #jjk x reader

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wonder-mei · 4 months

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Fate has spoken (MK1 Bi-han)

Author's note; reminder this is not lore accurate to the Mortal Kombat universe. I write because they're hot. I also do no have beta reader or i read my fan fic from top to bottom to see any errors. I'm lazy okay.

“Is it true?”

A familiar soft voice appears behind him right after he enters his room upon arriving at the Lin Kuei Clan. Bih-han didn’t move an inch,just standing there not knowing what to respond to her. The light of his life.

“You already heard from the others. There’s nothing for me to tell you”

“I want you to tell me. Say it infront of my face,Bi-han”, her tone is frustrated but with a hint of sadness that she tried to bury.

The Lin Kuei grandmaster clenched his fists. His heart is beating. His heart always beats for her. The stern Bi-han who everyone fears and respects him has always been afraid of her. Her kindness and gentle nature scares him, the thing he fears is losing her.

Bi-han turns around. Her eyes are already on her on edge to cry from betrayal. The eyes that always sees him as human and shows him that kindness still exist in his miserable life, “I took Shang Tsung’s offer for more power…. against the Lin Kuei oaths”

A single tear dropped from her eyes. Bi-han stares at her fighting the urge to touch her “And i let father die”

“How could you,Bi-han. He’s like a father to me!”, all the memories of her with the former grandmaster plays in her mind. He welcomed her and her mother with open arms when he found them living by the street after the death of her own father. She and her mother were given a home to live comfortably by his generosity. “He believed you’ll be a great grandmaster for Lin Kuei!” she hits him in the chest “He believed you can take care of us,Bi-han…”

Bi-han just stood there letting her get her anger out on him “You have betrayed Lin Kuei,your family…. You have betrayed me,Bi-han. It hurts. It hurts so much…” she cries and cries showing her pain to him.

“If you won’t follow my orders as the grandmaster. You can leave”

Her heart skips a beat at his words, she tilts her head up looking into his eyes. His eyes tell he is also in pain, “I do not need you anymore here. Leave the Lin Kuei. I am not like my father. I am a tyrant like they called me”

“Does everything we had mean nothing to you?”

Bi-han stares at her shocked,the question is unexpected. Her voice and eyes are demanding him to tell the truth, “Were every night we had walking together in the forest means nothing to you? Tell me”

“No… all of those we had together does not mean nothing to me”

She takes a step away from him. Taking a deep breath without her eyes leaving him “Say that you love me”

Bi-han heart got more heavy. Somehow he forgot to breathe.

“Say that you love me and then I will leave… letting you go on what you desire in life”

Words stuck in his throat. He just stares at her as she stares at him too. She wants to know if their feelings are equal before they went apart forever, “Tell me,Bi-han”

“I…. i love you very dearly”

She can feel the weight she’s carrying on her shoulders lift up upon hearing his confession. Her heart melts even in this betrayal situation “And i too,love you Bi-han”

Bi-han witnesses her last smile he will ever see. He won’t see the kind smile ever again. She won’t even be by his side for now on. He doesn’t show emotions, he doesn’t want her to see him in weakness. But before he was not afraid to cry, this time was different. Those before she is with him to get through the tough time. Now, she won’t be there to comfort him.

“Goodbye,Bi-han. May you live your ambitions and… live with happiness.Farewell”

With that she left. Forever. Bi-han didn’t call her name or hold her hand to prevent her from leaving. He did nothing. Just standing there.

He stood there for hours. His mind is blank. With a heavy heart he left his room approaching her room. Her room is empty, her mother also cannot be seen. She brought her mother with her too. Bi-han closes the door, he sits in the middle of the room. Her scent is still in the room. He sits there to feel everything that is left in the room until her scent and present are gone forever.

“In every timeline, she still won’t be yours,Bi-han. I am sorry”

Liu Kang had told him that;even in multiple timelines existed, they are not fated to be together.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #bi han x reader #bi han x you #sub zero x reader #bi han mk #sub zero

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ihatedtoadmit · 3 months

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The Windows To My Soul [8]

pairing: OT8 x fem! reader

genre: soulmates, fluff, crack, creeping in angst

warnings: Please read the 'Summary' of this series, all are listed there!

word count: ~3.8k

summary: You make new discoveries about your freshly formed soulmate bonds, something that seems as surreal as the boys' behaviour towards you.

↳ Masterlist ↳ Next chapter ↳ Previous chapter

The car ride back to their hotel was silent. Correction: I was silent, they talked, but even their voices were more hushed than usual. The emotions inside my chest still whirled, like an aimlessly raging storm that calmed down one second, then became worse in the next one. It was confusing, as if the emotions weren't even my own.

Arriving back into their big living room -this was such a rich hotel, i swear-, I looked around for my backpack and sure enough, it was on the coffee table. Quickly opening and searching through it, I found my phone. Shakily unlocking the screen, my complexion paled rapidly as I noticed the countless calls and messages from my friend.

This was what I had been worried about.

You see, we had this whole trip planned out, wanting to go to several places the three or two of us together -depending if her boyfriend wanted to third wheel-. But then I suddenly disappeared and it was almost time for us, well, for them, to go back home.

I couldn't imagine the worry I’d caused my friend, who I cherished dearly.

With worried, pleading eyes, I looked around for anyone near my vicinity, needing an answer to my question immediately.

"What should I tell everyone?"

It was vague, but they had to have understood. And they seemingly did, if their reactions were anything to go by, their bodies around me close and shifting awkwardly.

"I'm…. Sigh This is such a mess." - I could only agree with Chan as he slid a hand down his face, stretching the skin there in frustration.

Just think about it. I couldn't tell anyone the truth, not yet at the very least, not until JYP made an official statement that SKZ found their soulmate. But saying anything other than the truth would make my friend suspicious; she was rightfully protective of me, and would be able to spot my lies right away. What could I tell her? If I said I was injured, she would postpone her flight just to check up on me. If I said the truth, the company would have my head instead.

Nothing seemed proper, and the boys knew it too.

They all just kept silent, pondering with complicated expressions. It was painful to watch them all silently think, guilt so clear on some of their faces that I could feel it in my soul.

But then my phone vibrated, and we were out of time.

I hesitantly picked it up, holding the device up to my ear with uncertain hands. A shaky hello left my lips, only to be met with silence.

A silence that lasted for a mere second, if that at all.

As if empowered by the gods themselves, my friend started loudly speaking, my poor ear suffering from it. Her words were all over the place, fast and in several languages, my exhausted brain having a hard time keeping up and translating for myself. She went on for a few more minutes, asking more and more questions in a worried tone, not even leaving me a chance to answer them.

So I let her go on, until it was finally silent again.

"Hey, I'm okay now. Listen, you know you can trust me, yeah?" - my quiet voice asked her. "Uhm, yeah, of course. Why? You're scaring me. Tell me, what happened?" "Know that I will tell you and everyone else everything when I can. I am fine, will be fine, don't worry about me. Just please, trust me. I'll tell you when I get the chance, okay? I'll keep in touch, don't worry about that, ye?" "... why does this sound like a goodbye in those shitty bl manhwas?"

A small laughter broke free from my chest at that.

"It isn't, I swear. Now promise me. Please." "... alright. But if you lied, I will not hesitate to print and put up Chan and Jisung pics into your room!" "Jesus christ, no, naur, please, not that, anything but that! Holy fucking shit!”

A loud groan left my lips as I dragged my other hand down my face, unable to resist the urge to lightly slam my head into the table right before me. The furniture gave out a small noise as I collided with it, as if reprimanding me itself.

“Anyway, you two go, have fun on the remainder of your trip, then go home. If anyone asks, tell them I got an irrefusable job offer. I mean, that is half true, so, yea. Anyway, really, have fun, take pics cuz I wanna know. Talk to you later, bye-bye." "Ah, alright, okay. Wait, you're not coming with us?" "Uuuhhh… yeaaa, naah." "What the fuck do you mean yea nah?! What did you get yourself into?" "... just know that I'm okay. We'll meet again someday, don't worry, I'm not kidnapped." - I lightly laughed, knowing that I was, in fact, being actually kidnapped.

"Fine. My threat still stands. If you don't text me frequently, I will also hunt you down with Jisung pics." - she answered after a few beats of thinly stretched silence. "Girl, shush, really, stop with the pics! You're gonna be the death of me!"

She only laughed at that, all the while I cursed her out with probably red cheeks. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, allowing me to let out a big sigh and drop my head onto the table once again.

"Everything good?" - Felix's voice asked from somewhere behind me, reminding me that they were still there.

Oh god they were still there.

Mortified, I twisted my torso around and looked at them.

"You didn't hear what she said, did you?" "Nah, at one point you took the volume down so much we heard no sound coming from your phone." - Jisung answered, confusion clearly seen on his face. "Why?" "Nothing, Seungmin, really, no reason. I mean, yes reason, but none for you. You guys shall never know." "Eeh? C'moooon!" "Puppy eyes don't work on me, Felix!" "Oh I bet it was about her bias." - Changbin butted in, that signature smirk on his face.

My eyes widened as I stared at him, my lips drawing into a thin line as I was just frozen there, becoming a statue of embarrassment.

"Wait, I'm right?"

Chaos ensued, giving me no chance to deny his statement. Even if it wasn't true, the boys would've believed it no matter what, now that the situation had escalated like this. Curse you and your sixth sense, dwaekki.

Even after several minutes of me just silently sitting there, they kept nagging me, no matter what I did. They didn’t stop at all, not even when I turned back around, my back now facing them, my head once again comfortably resting on the cool surface of the table.

Gosh, they didn't let up, did they?

But eventually, they slowly calmed down and left to their rooms, probably to pack their things. They did speak amongst themselves and a bit to me, but I was too drained to catch what words left their mouths. But now their lack of presence gave me some breathing room, to get my brain to work and to focus on those uncomfortable, swirling feelings inside my chest.

It was as if they tightly wrapped themselves around my heart, squeezing it in demand. With each passing second they were becoming significantly brighter, more positive than they had been the past few hours. It confused me, but also tickled my fanfic-lover brain.

I had a sneaking suspicion that not all these emotions were my own, so I focused on one and tried to analyse it.

This one was the most prominent feeling, so obviously not stemming from me. It was too bright and nice for that; just the mere presence of it lifted my depressed spirits.

Tracing it back slowly, step-by-step, imagining the emotion as a ribbon, woven together by endless, bright strings of light. A certain warmth filled up my whole heart, washing over it like a tidal wave and letting it drown inside. My breath got stuck in my throat, even if only for a second, but I couldn’t let it stop me. No, I couldn’t give up so easily, so I focused harder, the strings becoming clearer and the warmth turning nearly scorching. The golden ribbon of light that I fought so hard for to appear led me to a petite form, his aura just like the emotion itself.

It was the sunshine incarnate himself.

Happy that my theory seemed to be correct, I opened my eyes and rested my chin on the table, instead of my forehead. A silent, yet heavy breath left my being, the scorching feeling leaving my lightly scorched form. The room felt hot, but thankfully it was feeling cooler and cooler by each passing second.

"Why so happy, but tired so sudden?"

Oh, I didn't even realise Changbin was still here, his question catching me off-guard. I just shook my head as an answer after sitting up properly -my hood falling down-, facing the man sitting on the couch behind me.

He seemed to let the topic go as he pocketed his phone and slid down next to me, not caring that he was now sitting on hard floorboards, even if carpeted. His expression was uncharacteristically soft, no hint of teasing or anything on his face. I couldn't help but stare at him, not even flinching as his hand gently brushed against my mask, the digit hovering above it, uncertain.

"I told you you're cute under there. No need for mask." - his voice was equally gentle, causing my eyes to widen in surprise.

The man before man wasn’t his usual loud, brash self, all those sharp edges now hidden, allowing me to catch a glimpse at the softness hiding inside. I nearly leaned into his hand, those dark nebulas of his so alluring and gentle that for a moment, just for a single moment, I had forgotten who I was speaking with.

But the moment was gone and I forced myself to look away from him, a task I never had so much trouble with prior to this moment. My head nearly moved on its own, silently denying his claims with the smallest of movements. How couldn't I? Even if I was the most confident person about my own looks, these people all saw me bedridden, in a hospital. Not exactly your prettiest moments in life.

"But you are. I no lie." - he confidently whispered, running a thumb under my eye.

I couldn't help but lightly laugh at that, unable to believe his claims.

"If no believe, then I say it so much you will."

Changbin seemed to have made up his mind, giving my tired self no choice but to silently accept it. He looked proud at that, satisfied as I didn't protest against it. With one final movement, he tucked a stray hair strand behind one of my ears, something on his arm catching my eye.

It was his soulmate tattoo, peeking out from his short sleeve and racing down towards his lower arm.

The ink lines were fine strands, ribbons snaking around his arm, weaving together playfully, always finding the others, even after splitting up countless times. Their surface glistened in the artificial warm light, the black ink sometimes seeming like the night sky, sparkling with stars.

He probably caught me staring, because he lifted his arm into my view, his other hand reaching for mine and holding it there after tucking up my sleeve.

"I know it's scary, but we here for you. Pretty tattoos are proof of our love."

How could he say such a thing so lightly?

I could only look back at him, taking his hand in mine and tracing the shapes over with the gentlest of touches. I didn't know what to do, especially with feelings, never really did. I was bad at them, usually pushing them away and bottling them up, something that never failed to lead to a disaster. So I hoped this, this little action of mine would let him know that I cared.

Because I truly did.

Footsteps were soon heard, several other members joining us in the living room with their luggages.

"Hyung, you can go pack." - Felix said, taking the short male's place next to me.

But only after Changbin sent me the brightest of smiles, causing warmth to take root inside my chest.

"Did Hyung do anything while we were away? Nothing happened?" - the young aussie's voice was warm and gentle, a teasing lilt grappling onto its edges.

I shook my head, watching as Chan made his way to my other side, walking around the couch to get there. He promptly sat down, his eyes set on us with a small smile resting on his face.

God damn it, not the dimples, not my weakness. But next to them was something new, something that I was sure wasn't on Chan before. It was at the edge of his face, running down over his jawbone and neck, disappearing into his shirt.

Thin, matte black lines littered his skin, converging and breaking away, as if a cracked surface. Around them were countless little stars, glinting when the light hit them just right.

It fit him painfully well, his ambitious self always shooting for the stars, despite everything.

I found myself raising a hand towards it, carefully hovering nearby. His smile only softened, placing his head in my hand, startling me. I quickly looked up into his eyes, scared, but I was only met with endless kindness and warmth.

So I focused back on the dark lines, tracing my thumb over them.

It was beautiful.

All their tattoos I had seen so far were. I didn't see myself in them, not understanding how I had a part in creating these beautiful creations, my mind having already denied Jisung’s prior words in the hospital. It just all seemed impossible in my eyes.

As if sensing my thoughts, Chan raised a hand towards my own neck, gently running a finger over the skin resting there.

"You have it too, y'kno'. Pretty, like you are."

I could only make a quiet, confused sound at that, caught by surprise and disbelief.

Did just two 3racha members compliment me in the last few minutes?? Was I somehow transported into a weird dating game?!?

Chan's laughter rang through the air, followed by the others' who were in the room. Right, they were here too, right. Fuck.

"You're so flustered already. Did Bin say something similar?"

I nodded at him, pulling my hand away and facing the table again, a furniture I was starting to take a liking to with how familiar I was becoming with it. Looking at those unchanging lines in the wood was still a much better choice than facing these teasing men.

"Hyung, don't fluster her already, you're gonna scare her off!" - Felix reprimanded the leader, like a mom would her child. "Hey, I was just stating the obvious! As if you wouldn't say something like that to her too!" "Don't try to put the blame on me mate!" "I wasn't, and you kn–"

Before Chan had a chance to finish his sentence, Minho chucked a pillow at them both and amusedly pointed at me.

Me, who was halfway through crawling under the table. Sending a quick glare at him, I quickly slipped under the furniture, laying on my side and facing away from the boys, tugging the hoodie that sat on my head further down, if that was possible. Ah, yes, the sight of the slightly dusty floor and the lower half of the cabinets was much better.

"Hey, Eevee, come out please."

I just made disagreeing hums at Felix's request, feeling my whole face burning up. Even in my current confused and tired state, I was flustered as hell. And no matter how much they tried to coax me out, I didn't budge, no, I instead curled up into a smaller ball, if anything.

Just as one of them changed positions to try and face me, others came into the room, if their loud footsteps were anything to go by.

"Hey, uh… What's going on?" - Jisung's voice rang throughout the place, making me hide into my palms even more.

Minho answered him in korean, something I didn’t understand, besides the amused tone of it all. The betrayal, I bet he outed me. And I was right, as the new arrivals soon started laughing as well, Jisung joining the aussies at the table, while Jeongin and Seungmin sat with the cat. I thought so at least, based on the noises and voices I had heard.

"Come on Eevee, don't hide. If you get this flustered from only this much, you won't last long."

What was that supposed to mean, you lil quokka?!

I just stared at his face with wide eyes through my fingers, only seeing him laugh even harder at my reaction, nearly falling onto his back from the force. He spoke with the others in korean after calming down, their conversation letting me calm myself a bit as well.

I felt like the embodiment of a keyboard smash.

My thoughts and feelings were all over the place, the fact that I apparently felt the others' emotions not helping in the slightest. If I wasn’t in a public place, I would have let out a low whine, my pounding head and hurting joints silently screaming in agreement.

But just as I was calming down and detangling these feelings, a loud dwaekki arrived back into the room. I had no idea what any of the boys saying, but soon enough, the table from above me disappeared. I could merely stare at a very smug and slightly offended Changbean, as he just put the table away and picked me up.

Like, straight up just plucked me from the ground, as if I was a ripe vegetable ready to be harvested.

Acting as if I weighed nothing at all, even though with my height, that was impossible. The man simply moved me around in his arms and sat down facing the others, plopping me into his lap. His arms were around me as I sat there, my legs against my chest, as if it was his silent message towards me: you cannot escape, don’t even try.

"What the fuck just happened?" "She speaks!"

I shot an unamused glare at Felix, immediately shutting him up as he shot his hands up into the air in defence. Changbin just amusedly huffed behind me, his head now firmly placed onto my shoulder, something he couldn’t exactly do when we were standing, thanks to my giraffe-like height.

He seemed content to just hold me there, so I put my own head on top of my knees and watched as the others bickered. I seemed to have become a silent spectator of the group once again, although I didn’t mind it, used to it all. The mere thought of being an active participant of this liveliness exhausted me, making me relax more into the idol’s unbreakable hold. And yet, even with all that, the boys tried to speak in english. I could tell even in my tired state and I appreciated it, but since not all of them were fluent in it, they switched back to korean a lot.

I really had to learn korean or something…

“Right, right, whatcha wanna eat, Eevee?” - Jisung excitedly asked, drawing everyone’s attention to me. “Mh, he’s right. We can order it, so don’t worry, choose anything.” - Chan added in, his hand already fishing out his phone that was tucked away safely into his pocket.

Just as I was about to say that no, I wasn’t feeling hungry -probably from all the stress-, I caught Minho’s glare and my jaw tightly shut itself together. I knew he was the mom of the group, feeding the others being part of his love language, but this was just straight up frightening.

“Minho hyung, stare into her soul longer and she will dig a hole to hide in.” - Seungmin said as he slapped the mentioned cat on the shoulder, annoyance clear in his voice. “But eating important.” “That, I cannot argue with.”

Great, I still had no choice, but at least my soul wasn’t being stared down at.

…

What was I supposed to eat??? As a recovering patient, it had to be something more on the light side, but I wasn’t familiar enough with the japanese kitchen to know which dishes would fit into that category.

“... will you guys eat too?”

They collectively nodded, affirmative answers leaving their lips after a quick glance was shared between them. Changbin lightly squeezed my middle he was still holding onto, the hum that left his throat comfortably tickling my back.

Good, I wouldn’t feel weird and a big burden then, ‘making’ them order just for me.

“Do they have something light, like onigiri?” - I asked, my voice sounding way too vulnerable and quiet. “Mhm, good. You’re allowed to eat that as well, so I’m glad you chose this.” - Chan replied with a gentle smile painted onto his lips.

The leader then proceeded to list off the different fillings it could have and made me choose several, just in case. He said if I wouldn’t be able to eat it, they would, so I shouldn’t worry. I appreciated the gesture, really, but me being me, I did just that: worry.

Although I’d realised as I watched them bicker around while ordering, that this particular feeling wasn’t only mine. No, it stemmed from several people, all seeping towards me through the bond, although I wasn’t sure who else it also belonged to. These new, otherworldly powers were still very much fresh to me, after all.

But something else kept nagging at the back of my mind: worry wasn’t the only negative feeling wrapped around my heart. No, there was also excitement, fear, anger, happiness and displeasure, just to name a few that I tried my best to identify. It was truly a cacophony of chaos, a big tangled ball of mess that I just didn’t have the energy to detangle right now, to see what belonged to me and the others.

What I was certain about though was the worry I felt about this displeasure, a feeling that I could easily see stem from those around me as well. And somehow, I understood why they would feel that towards me, a stranger in their life.

My existence was probably the cause of it, someone who was supposedly their soulmate, their perfect other half just appearing out of nowhere in front of them. Most of them seemed to be happy to meet me, but that didn’t mean everyone had to feel that way.

No, some of them probably hated me being there, hated my very existence, hated how I’d met them and how now they had to deal with my useless self.

Next chapter

Taglist: @stayatinykatsy @vampcharxter @linlinaert @yoongibelike @ihrtlix @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @braveangel777 @michelle4eve @5starluvr @palindrome969

If I left you out, feel free to remind me to add you in!

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veras1ne · 11 months

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༉‧₊˚. “Devil in Disguise.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Summary 🕊️: Smut but not necessarily any plot! Proceed with caution this is your checkpoint! I am not responsible for any media you decide to consume <3

🫧➷ Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x AFAB!Reader (Apologies that this one isn’t Gender Neutral! Based on my own personal life it’s just easier for me to write AFAB smutfics).

: ̗̀➛ WARNINGS🪷: Your warnings are as followed 🦢 Explicit smut, PIV, fingering, corruption kink, religion used in a NSFW way, creampie, virgin!reader

🫧Thank you for all the love recently! I love interactions so please please PLEAAAASE if you literally have anything to say put it into my inbox I love answering asks <3

💌Thank you to the dearest and loveliest @fuckmyskywalker for the lovely little reblog sesh we had on this and what I’d say is their own little sparkle to this fic. I love Anya so much and it would be greatly appreciated if you checked them out aswell <3

You were still unsure of how you ended up in this position.

Anakin’s fingers were buried deep inside your sopping cunt as he hiked up your shirt in order to expose your chest. His lips were working on a particularly sweet spot just below the crook of your neck, his tongue swirling languidly over it. You were sure it would leave a mark, one that was visible and harsh, and at the very least would leave you waking up and wondering what devil had taken advantage of you the night prior.

The devil in question, though, was your sweet, loving boyfriend, one to whom you had promised your life and love, but not before making him very aware that it was in your motives to wait ‘til marriage, and still, you had ended up with your Bible in hand, being forced to read verse by verse as he fucked you stupid. Not that it really mattered anymore, though, given that his body and his fingers were moving so well inside your tight hole. "Read Hebrews 13:4 back to me, baby. Don’t be shy; you and I both know that if this were such a sin, God wouldn’t have placed your perfect body in the hands of a sinner like myself, would he?" His words were getting lost in an orgasmic haze as he thrust them into you again and again, each one bringing forth more bliss than the last. "Let marriage be held in honor among all." Your voice cracked as your moans slipped through your words.

As you tried to hide in the bedsheets, a hand took reign of your hair, pulling it back to look back on your Bible, the one Anakin had commissioned to be made for you, highlighted and bookmarked with your favorite verses. "Come on, Angel. You know you can do it; just one more for me, and I’ll let you cum on my cock." The rasp in his voice rang out in your ears, making you whimper and writhe under his grasp, with only his hand lodged in your hair holding you in place.

As you regained your composure, you looked around in a frenzy in order to find your place on the page: "And let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Your voice was high-pitched and whiny, essentially pleading for him to give you what you so desperately lusted after. He could never refuse you anything, and even though you loved him dearly, you knew that, but he did love you too much to give himself fully over to your every whim. "What a good little dove you are, letting me corrupt you under God’s watchful eye." His fingers worked their way out of your cunt as he rolled away from you, leaving a sickening trail of your fluids connecting to his fingers as he brought them up to his lips to taste you.

The sight of him licking your juices off of them gave you goosebumps, and you remembered that the cool metal of his promise ring was inside of you just moments ago. "Don’t worry, baby; you should know I keep my promises." His breath fanned against your ear as he moved your body to face him; instead of being met with lacy white sheets, your eyes were met with his watercolor blue irises. "Such a good little whore for me. Imagine if those at your church knew all about the things that you let me do to you." His smile was smug, knowing you would do anything for him, even if it meant exchanging your place in heaven for his fingers that brushed so elegantly against the inside of your thighs or how his body fit so perfectly against yours like a missing puzzle piece.

The sound that escaped your lips was somewhere between a moan and a sob. You were unable to deny the feelings that washed over you when he teased your clitoral area relentlessly, preparing and distracting you from the stretch of his cock that was briefly painful. You had known Anakin long enough to understand what he intended, yet you could not help yourself. "Please, please take me now." Your body shook in anticipation as his cock finally bottomed out, eliciting another sharp cry from your lips at the sensation.

A few deep breaths seemed to momentarily calm your mind down as he held you and soothed you.

Even in the most blasphemous and downright sinful situations that you and Anakin had gotten yourselves into before, he had always made sure to care for you and match your energy and level of comfortability.

Your hand had squeezed his, letting him know that you were ready for what came next, as your body had tensed up once again as he began slowly fucking you hard, his hand cupped in yours and your lips pressed firmly against his. Oh, my God, Ani," you breathed out, his dick pumping in and out of you. "God can’t save you now, my angel. Don’t beg for mercy from him; you need to beg for me." His speaking was sloppy and breathy, and his pace got increasingly faster as he chased his own high. “Please, Anakin, I’m going to cum.." A string of whines and pleas slipped past your lips as his hand caressed your cheek lovingly.

Your hips lifted to meet his thrusts as he continued fucking you furiously, his fingers digging deeper into your hips as he pulled out and plunged back in forcefully.

A overwhelming sensation overcame your body as you reached your thighs, quivering at the pleasure and roughness of Anakin’s movements, with his falling close behind you seconds later. His teeth latched onto your shoulder in order to bite softly, his grip tightening ever so slightly as he let go of you to come deep inside of you. Anakin groaned as he came undone in your embrace, removing his cock from inside you and lying beside you, just holding your now tired and sweaty body in his arms. "I love you, Angel. Thank you for trusting me with this." He smiled at you and rubbed your sides, allowing you to still come down from your post-orgasmic haze. "I love you so much, Ani." Your voice reassured him, and you took his hand and led him to your bathroom. Allowing the steam of your shower to clear your senses, you quickly became aware of all the marks on your body that your dearest lover had left on you.

“Anakin, we have church tomorrow."

#veras1ne #anakin smut #star wars x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #star wars #・❥verababbles

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sassykattery · 5 months

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No Rest for the Wicked, Pt. 2

Tsk tsk tsk...

CW: MC is afab, uses she/her pronouns. MC is a demon and poly. Smut scene: hate/angry sex, followed by an emotionally tumultuous moment. PIV, explicit mentions of m and f genitalia.

Themes: Romance. Adventure. Engagement. DiavoloxMC. BarbatosxMC. LuciferxMC

Characters: MC. Diavolo. Lucifer. Barbatos.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy!

The next morning, at least you thought it was, you woke up– well, you tried to. Immediately, you groaned and rolled around, finding your bed to be empty. You grabbed your D.D.D. to check the time, hissing at the offensive brightness, only to find it was well into the afternoon.

Slowly, you got dressed, nearly crying when you brushed your hair as your head pounded. When you looked in the mirror, you realized your outfit was mismatched, and you sighed and found a different set to wear. Finally looking better than you felt, you stumbled on downstairs. You could hear Lucifer and Diavolo in the dining hall, so you skirted around to the kitchen to find something to soothe your warzone of a stomach and your pounding head.

"Might I suggest some soda and crackers, mistress?" Barbatos said, making you jump, which didn't help your head at all.

"Sure..." you grumbled.

Barbatos nodded and grabbed a few things for you, setting them on the counter in front of you.

"Care to share?" the butler asked, pouring the soda for you.

"I got drunk at Ristorante Six and here I am," you replied, bristled.

"I see. And that's not like you, so what's troubling you?"

You took the soda and took a sip, trying to savor the carbonation. With a sigh, you replied, "It just seems like every few months, something terrible happens, and I cause a whole bunch of trouble for people, and the wedding dates are coming, and I really want those days to go perfect-"

Barbatos held up a hand. You were talking in run-ons and becoming frantic. Taking a deep breath, you continued, "I just want everything to go well. I don't want to screw this up," you finished.

"I understand, mistress, but you're placing undue stress onto yourself, surely you don't need to do that either," Barbatos replied.

You munched on a cracker and nodded in agreement.

"Moreover, you have the young master, Lucifer, and me, right here," he added.

You were silent for a moment, considering his words. Then, you threw your arms around his neck and sighed. "Thank you."

He reciprocated and held you tight against himself. "Of course." You two remained like that for several moments, soaking each other in.

"Ah," you said, pulling away. "I don't know if you picked up on my hint, but I remember what we talked about when I lost my memory. I just want you to know, I've always thought of you as more than a friend, but there was a wall up between us for a while, so I never pursued it until recently. I trust you," you said, taking his gloved hand and holding it against your cheek. "I love you dearly, Barbatos, and you can ask whatever you'd like of me."

Barbatos' eyes widened at your sudden confession. Feeling a touch brave, he gently leaned forward and kissed your forehead. You smiled up at him, making his heart pound in his chest. He savored the smell of your skin and shampoo infiltrating his nose, creating a symphony of beauty to his olfactory senses.

"This is enough for me, mistress," he murmured.

"Very well, as you say," you replied, using his words.

In better spirits, you took your soda and crackers to enter the dining hall, where Lucifer and Diavolo were talking up until you appeared in the entryway.

"Well, there she is, our little drunk sleeping beauty," Lucifer said maliciously. You set your things down at the table and blue vapors appeared behind you.

"Try again," you hissed.

"You don't scare me," Lucifer said in an unamused tone, picking up the newspaper and rifling through it. Diavolo stared between you two.

"Well, she scares me, so please don't aggravate her, Lucifer," Diavolo muttered.

You smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead as you walked by to get some tea. Lucifer "tched" you as you smirked at him, giving him nary even a touch as you walked by him.

Sitting down at your spot, you began to drink your tea and Diavolo spoke up again.

"Your photos came back today; would you like to see them?" he asked excitedly.

"Mm, I'd like that," you replied.

"Careful, she'll just get a big head over it again," Lucifer piped up while reading.

For some reason, your switch flipped, and you knocked your fist into the table.

"I'm not terribly fond of your attitude today," you ground out between your teeth.

"And I'm not terribly fond of you drinking yourself under the table that we have to carry you out of a restaurant full of people, your royal highness," Lucifer quipped, finally looking up at you.

Diavolo simply watched between you two, keeping his comments to himself.

Your cheeks burned but your lips tightened as if there was a zipper on them. You abruptly stood from your chair, grabbing your soda, and stomped off.

"Good job," Diavolo groaned in dismay. He rubbed his face in his hands, knowing he was just as much in the proverbial doghouse.

"I meant what I said," Lucifer replied in a monotone.

"Right, and because of that, I'll let you fix that mess yourself. Good luck," Diavolo replied tartly, leaving to go to his office.

Once alone, Lucifer set the newspaper down on the table and sighed. He knew he shouldn't have said what he said, and he wasn't being terribly kind to you, even after what Diavolo told him about you wanting to make him proud, and that you wanted to sleep next to him from the previous night.

Feeling guilty, he walked around the castle looking for you, and strangely, you weren't in your suite, which made him slightly nervous, given everything that's happened with repeated disappearances and a possibly ultra-powerful demoness that roamed the Devildom. Following your scent, he found himself outside one of the guest bedrooms, one that he had stayed in many times since being in the Devildom.

He opened the door, seeing you curled up on the bed in the middle of the room.

You looked over at him, and though you wanted to say some rather venomous things, the zipper stayed closed on your mouth. Instead, you focused your sight back on the window you looked out of.

"Darling," Lucifer said, sitting on the edge of the bed at your feet. You remained quiet. "I suppose I'm not being very fair to you," he admitted.

You shot upward and glared at Lucifer, finally snapping. "How is it any different than the nights you'd go out drinking with Diavolo or anyone else and you'd come home plastered?"

He inched closer and his gaze hardened, "Usually I'm not in the middle of a high-profile area where I just had a televised interview and everyone has their eyes on me," he replied harshly.

This time you brought your face closer and bared your fangs, "Just say what you actually mean, Lucifer," you growled.

"I mean you're being sloppy and need to keep your public image in check, for everyone's sake," he growled back.

You lunged forward, almost nose to nose with him, and spoke in a seething whisper, "I am the damned Avatar of Vainglory, and my image is everything to me, you don't think I know how to handle myself all of a sudden?"

"I know you can't, given last night," he retorted.

Your eyes started to shine, and the horns adorning your head materialized, "You ever think the amount of pressure you put on me is part of the reason why I struggle so much?"

"You put that pressure on yourself," he stated. Lucifer's patience was starting to wear thin.

The words flew out of your mouth with spite, "You're the one who started all of this with your snide comments! Go fuck yourself." You jumped out of the bed and began to storm away when he grabbed your shoulders and shoved you into the nearest wall, your back making a rather loud thud as you slammed into it.

You stared up at Lucifer, furious and ready to throw down. "Where do you get the gall-"

But he interrupted you with a sloppy kiss, pressing his whole body into yours. You turned your head away to break the kiss and looked back at him with a wrathful gaze, jaw locked tight.

Lucifer stared back at you, clearly frustrated and thinking about his next move or choice of words. The longer you looked at him, the more you felt a heat circulating down below, and your body started making decisions for you. Your hands dove up to his hair, tangling your fingers in his locks, while his hands took hold of your waist, holding you in place.

Still feeling angry, you brought your hands back down to his chest and pushed hard, actually using your strength against him. He stepped back a couple feet, but then you tackled him to the ground, both of you trying to devour each other on the way down with angry, heated kisses.

Both of you tore into each other's clothes as quickly as possible, bypassing getting your tops completely off in favor of working off your bottoms. Lucifer rolled you onto your back and slotted himself between your legs, rubbing his hardened cock against your slit to cover it in your slick that was building up. You snatched the back of his neck in your hand and yanked him into another kiss.

Each of you grabbed and groped each other with mean hands, your nails digging into his back as he plunged his cock into your core. He gave a few rough thrusts into you, to which you both growled and grunted at your pleasure, before he started railing into you as hard as he could. The goal wasn't to be fast, but to fuck out your mutual frustrations. His hips smacked yours hard with each downward stroke, and when you looked up, you saw him in his demon form as well, so you gripped his horns, causing him to fuck you that much harder.

Sitting himself up on one elbow, he brought his other arm down to rub your clit with his slender fingers, causing your grunts to become wails. All too quickly, your orgasm dropped on you like a hammer, your eyes flying open to watch the very demon making you feel so good as you came apart on his dick. Your mouth drew to an "o" shape, and your thighs shook as the electric volts of pleasure took over. But it was also in this moment, your emotions were heightened, and your eyes flooded with tears, your face flushed.

Lucifer noticed this, but you continued to moan and cry out your orgasm, and you never stopped him, so he took that as his cue to continue. Breaking away from rubbing your clit, he leaned back to bring your legs to his shoulders to deepen his penetration. Your face contorted to something of unfathomable pleasure, and your tears finally began to roll down your cheeks.

Your hands reached up to his face with your fingers gently raking through his messy locks. His eyes widened, because for a moment, to see you become so gentle and emotional reminded him of your humanity. Leaving his hair, your hands dropped down to his shoulders, gripping onto to him tenderly. He kept his pace, but he started to lose his rhythm, so he leaned down close to you, his forehead touching yours.

"Cum with me, dove, let's finish together," he whispered. You nodded, and both of you collided into a kiss at the same time, much more sweetly now.

"Ahh ah, Luci-" you whimpered quietly, your voice going hoarse.

"MC," he called back to you, tensing up as he approached his high. Your body shuddered involuntarily, and deep within your core the explosions of your climax flashed out. He felt the warmth of your cum cover his cock, causing him to slow to a stop as he released his cum into you.

"I'm sorry," you cried, burying your face into his neck with hot tears streaming down. "You're right, I am a beast with a horrible attitude-"

"Shh, darling," he said, wrapping his arms underneath you. "I shouldn't have ever said that." He then pulled you up, his cock still sheathed inside of you, and he sat up to his knees. You remained wrapped around him, koala style. "I love you my sweet, sweet dove."

"Why? I clearly can't handle this or anything else-"

"Please stop," he murmured. He cradled your jaw in his palm and pulled your face to his, kissing you softly. "You can do this; I will make sure of it. I won't let you falter. You can rely on me to help you at a moment's notice. I'll always come to your side should you need me. Do you understand?"

You sniffed but ultimately nodded. "Yes," you whispered. His hands went to your rear to support you as he stood to his feet, walking you both over to the bed. He sat on the edge and just held you as you clung to him, stroking small circles onto your back.

"I don't want you to ever think I don't want or love you," he said into your ear. Though you couldn't see it, he was gazing ahead, looking out the window in the bedroom. "We've been through far too much together for you to think those things."

----

Thanks for reading <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost to other sites. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @l-d-8 @itsmeninerz @flemmingbamse @loquacious-libra @biteable-pink-pixie @themythicaldisaster @bontensbabygirl @dajitm @marvelous-maniac @delphi-dreamin

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #love-eternal #obey me smut #lucifer x female reader #lucifer obey me smut #obey me barbatos #diavolo x female reader #barbatos x female reader

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pearlywritings · 2 years

Text

They got it from you

synopsis: envious nobles are at it again, ruining your day with their venomous remarks and making you doubt certain things. What a relief that your family is always ready to make it feel better.

pairing: Diluc x fem!reader, feat your sons

tw: hurt/comfort, bullying, established relationship, fluff, tiny mention of pregnancy

word count: 6.9k+ words

author’s note: @sleep-deprivedracoon you can call me a liar. I know I said I was not going to continue A child of our own anyhow, but here I am, making a whole family AU (yes, here is a separate masterlist for it)

Biggest thanks to @lunargrapejuice who shared my brainrot and gave me an inspiration to write it 💛

Life couldn’t be better. Honestly! You have everything and then some more that fills your every moment with happiness - you have an amazing husband, who is your lover, your support, your dear friend and the person who looks at you like you hold the whole universe in your hands (and you do, whenever you cradle Diluc’s face in your palms). You have two amazing sons - four-year-old twins, sweet and active, polite and respectful, happy and playful, though sometimes borderline mischievous - but they are kids! That is to be expected. You found home in the manor of the winery, where every single member of staff came to love you dearly, always smiling and sounding fondly whenever ‘My Lady’ or ‘Madame’ leaves their lips both in your presence and absence. You have great friends - your close circle of old ones and the ones you befriended after stepping into your now-husband’s circle, the best possible addition being his brother’s family. His wife and daughter adore you and the feeling is wholeheartedly mutual. People of Mondstadt always loved you, but now they love you even more and are always excited to see the whole Ragnvindr family of four members in the city.

Sadly, not all people.

Sure, there is nothing wrong in someone not liking you and not approaching you as a couple of others would. After all, it’s impossible to be loved by everyone, there is no such person in the whole Teyvat. It’s a completely different thing when someone openly despises you.

While Mondstadt is a city of freedom and all people are declared to be equal, there are descendants from the noble families that centuries ago used to be glorified, respected and ruling. Of course, many do not pay attention to it, but there are some that continue exalting the pureness of their blood and going around puffing their chests like some arrogant roosters. To them the likes like you are a thorn in the side. It’s their daughters, cousins, younger sisters, or whoever else, who were deserving of marrying the young master of the Rangvindr bloodline, not… not you!

They blamed late Master Crepus for not being sagacious to establish an arranged marriage contract with any of these families before dying, that way you would’ve never been given the chance to even think of being in his eyesight!

But you not only dared to be there, you became the center of it. They don’t know how could they miss years you two spent dating, but the next moment they knew - you two were happily married. And that’s after all of their attempts to set him up with one of their young female members of the family!

They detest you, they hate your guts, froth at the mouth every single time there is at least the tiniest hint of your shared happiness and affection. Venom fills their words, but they do not dare to utter them in Diluc’s presence of course not. They target you when you are alone.

They already caused you much distress five years ago, when all your mind could do was worrying about the topic of kids. Back then Diluc did make it clear - if anyone has balls to verbally attack his wife, they are welcome to visit the Angel’s Share, where he’ll have a very nice chat with them.

Insults stopped and you could finally breathe freely, concentrating on carrying your child (at that time you had no idea it was going to be two) and then raising up the twins - beautiful brilliant redheads, that quickly became the talk of the town. People adore them, smile and greet them whenever both parents or one of you brings them to the city, give them free treats, rope you or Diluc in any kind of conversation, and admire your pretty babies. There were more times than you can count when Kaeya appeared unexpectedly and stole (saved) you from the never-ending chitchats.

You think that at last, everything is magnificent - Diluc heeds you and really makes attempts to dedicate time to not only you and children but himself too, he takes his walls down even more, now struggling less when discussing with you something that keeps him restless; Rufus and Lucas - your sons - are healthy and content, being nothing but joy to both you and your husband, and everything else is pretty much the same, and that’s really enough for you.

Until a couple of months ago nobles started to express their hatred again.

At first it was very very subtle, and if it was a bystander, they would’ve never guessed the real meaning behind small comments. But very soon it became very clear, but still pretty much bearable.

“Look, it’s this woman again.”

“Ah, yes, her. A greedy gold digger.”

“I don’t understand what our Master Diluc found in her. My cousin is so much prettier!”

“I don’t know about your cousin, but my sweet daughter Lily would’ve looked so much better at his side.”

“Yes, dear, you are right, our daughter would’ve made a much better match for Mr Ragnvindr. If only he gave her a chance at that teaparty…”

And something alike. Statements like this didn’t bother you at all. You know Diluc knows you love him dearly and fondly and care little to how loaded he is (you do handle his budget sometimes, but even then you do not have any inappropriate thoughts, no matter how many times your boyfriend and then husband tried to spoil you). You also know Diluc loves you and wouldn’t dream of marrying anyone else - he makes it very clear with words and more often - actions. And you also know they are just envious of your happiness and blame you for, how do they say “stealing what could never belong to you from them”. You do not treat your husband as an object, maybe that’s why he never looked at your families, you, imbeciles.

However they are determined in their attempts to get under your skin and they resume to the topic that worked before - your children. They used to talk you down for being a bad wife for not giving Master Diluc heirs sooner, such a remarkable and great bloodline must’ve been restored in their opinion. Well, you do have children now, so it won’t work twice.

Now, there are offhandedly thrown comments about how much young Ragnvindrs resemble their father. Yes, yes, gorgeous thick red little manes, just like their father’s, beautiful ruby eyes - surely inherited from their father, their delicate noses and overall face features - one look and you could easily guess their father in them!

Too bad they look nothing like their mother.

Suddenly, to them you even lost your identity as a person. Now you're just a ’Master Diluc’s kids’ mother’. Not your name, not even your family name. Just a function, making it sound like it’s the only thing you can do, contribute to this marriage.

Today was the final straw to your composure. Someone - possibly one of the minions - was brave (and foolish, if you ask me) enough to state you are not even their mother. Your pregnant stomach? Pff, totally fake, just a pillow under your dress. They know the woman - the real mother of Master Diluc’s children - who the owner of Dawn Winery asked to bear his offspring because his wife was just a failure.

You didn’t acknowledge them - the whole group that gathered around the speaker and was snickering and sending dirty glances your way. You, calmly and gracefully, continued your path, smiling and joyfully chatting with vendors on the street, as if those obvious lies weren’t gnawing on your insides and infiltrating your thoughts.

Oh, but it did hurt.

And it hurts still, when you hop off the wagon - one of the winery workers was ready to head back and happily offered a ride home as you were exiting the city gates. Your heart is so heavy and eyes strain from unshed tears - you really didn’t want to worry the sweet elder man, who was so kind to his Lady, and it gets more and more difficult to keep yourself together as you approach the front doors of the manor. Workers and maids greet and wave at you and you try really hard to wave back and give each and every one at least a couple of phrases to have a small talk and show how much you care - because you truly do.

At last, the doors are closed behind you and your back is pressed against them, a shaky exhale leaving your dried mouth. That was surely an exhausting trip - while the conversation with the talkative employee and observing such familiar landscapes served as a distraction, all kinds of thoughts never stopped swirling inside your mind. With eyes closed your brain starts creating images of their twisted expressions and nasty laughter, mocking you for something that is obvious nonsense. Ah, people really can be cruel, but you will be fine. You need just a moment to dispose of these emotions and worries.

Tapping of small feet makes you aware you are not yet in private to let yourself go and you make an effort to push through it for a little bit more, opening your eyes and lovingly staring at two boys running down the stairs, closely followed by your head maid.

“Mama! Mama!” you crouch down and catch them in an embrace, letting out a small grunt when their bodies bump into you at full speed. Two pairs of arms quickly wrap around your neck and each cheek is loudly smooched. A smile appears on your lips and for a moment you forget about your pain and a reason for your sadness, giving each boy a kiss on their noses, to which they erupt in giggles.

“Hello, my little fireflies. How have you been?”

“Good!”

“But we missed you and papa!”

“Oh, but Addie read us a story!”

You glance at Adelinde and the woman only smiles, watching the sight in front of her with a soft emerald gaze.

“Did she? Was it interesting?”

“Yes!”

“Not really…”

You laugh at the pouty expression of the younger twin, guessing it was the older who chose the story this time.

“I am sure the next one will be to your liking, my dear. Right, Adelinde?”

But before she can answer you, the boys unwrap their arms around your neck and instead grab your hands - Rufus has both of his little palms wrapped around your wrist, while Lucas holds just onto your fingers with one hand, the other pointing to the back exit.

“Mom, we don’t wanna read! Come and play with us!”

“Pleaaaaase!”

Going…outside?

As much as you want to give in and let them lead you out to have fun, you understand the desperate need to be alone for some time. Even though everything doesn’t come back crushing onto you all at once, you know it can and desire to prevent such escalation wins.

Your face must’ve fallen, because the twins definitely notice.

“Mama..? Is something wrong..?”

“Do you not… want to play with us?”

You can see that the other woman in the hall is ready to rush and help you, but you can handle it, they are your children, no matter how bitter it sounds in your wounded thoughts right now, and you are their mother, you are the one to bring them comfort.

“Oh, no, no, no, babies. Mama wants to play with you. But,” you stand up from your crouched position carefully, not to rip your hands out of their hold accidentally, “I am very tired right now… I will be very happy to play with you later, after dinner… If my boys don’t mind,” just as carefully you slide your wrist and fingers free and reach to pat the tops of their fluffy heads. Your sons exchange quick glances. You swear, they have some invisible connection between them, as if they can communicate via reading each other’s minds, and it makes you smile a little. The agreement is reached when they look back at you and, though a little bit pouty, nod.

“Of course, mama. We understand, and we will wait for after dinner!”

You can’t help yourself and not poke their round cheeks, effortlessly making them let out the air held there. Boys giggle again, rubbing at the poked spots and jumping a step back to avoid more teasing to come. Straightening up, you give them a small smile.

“Thank you, Rufus, thank you, Lucas. Mama really appreciates it and loves you.”

“We love you too, mama!” The declaration is exclaimed in unison and that’s what plucks the strings of your heart and makes you even more emotional. You make an unspoken vow to yourself, you’ll shower these redheads in so much affection when you feel better.

Twins’ crimson eyes follow your figure slowly walking up the stairs and all the way to the bedroom where you hide behind a heavy door. Something is not right, they can sense it. You rarely call them by their full names, unless they are in trouble, or you speak to someone else about them. The lack of ‘Ru’ and ‘Lu’ spoken in your sweet voice makes them question your behavior. Besides, you looked very gloomy - they are used to seeing something similar on their dad’s face, but not on yours.

So their heads whip into Adelinde’s direction and a second later they are already standing in front of her, craning their necks to look up.

“Addie, is mama sad?”

“Why is she sad?”

“Something happened?”

“Can we help?”

“Will papa be sad too?”

“Yes, papa is always sad, if mama is sad… It’s bad if they are sad!”

“Yes, it’s bad! We wanna help!”

The head maid bends down to tuck some stray locks behind their ears and to gently cup their cheeks, which always effectively makes them fall silent. The woman finds it extremely sweet how willing to make it better these two angels are. But, she is afraid, there is nothing they can do at the moment. Their Lady is known to lighten up everyone else’s mood with her presence - cheerful and kind, the stormy clouds hang above her head very rarely, and there is always a very specific and unpleasant reason behind it. There ought to be some kind of an issue, hard to resolve and that hurt you a good amount, if the pained look in your eyes and your rueful steps were any indicator.

“Listen, boys,” she starts in a smooth voice, making sure every word of hers reaches them and sinks in, “your mother is really tired. Sometimes being tired can cause you feeling upset - low energy and overworking do feel bad. Right now she needs to rest, to regain her strength back, so she can play and spend more time with you, and believe me, she doesn't want anything as much as this. As for your father… I am sure he will be fine. If he doesn’t join us soon I will go and talk to your mother, okay?”

“And…you will tell us everything?” Rufus looks at her hopefully and she gently smiles, caressing his cheek with her thumb.

“Of course. You two will be the first ones to know. And I will tell you right away if your mother asks for you to come pay her company.”

Boys know that Addie never lies, so for now, they are satisfied with her answer, even though they really really want to run right to their parents’ bedroom, crawl onto the bed and cuddle with you. Your warm cuddles always helped them feel better, surely it can work the other way around, right?

But their train of thoughts is interrupted by Adelinde who takes their hands and straightens up.

“So, young masters, what would you like to do meanwhile?” the twins exchange glances again, and then Rufus looks back at her.

“I want another story!”

“But I choose!” the younger tugs the woman’s hand and his brother huffs. Mom and dad say to always share though, and, besides, Lucas’s choices are to his liking sometimes.

“Alright, you choose,” he says instead and his brother beams with happiness. The head maid only chuckles and takes them back to their room, so Lucas could pick another book from the shelf and she - read it to them.

Almost half of an hour passes when Diluc finally opens the door of his study and takes a look outside. The second floor is empty and, upon walking to the varnished wooden railing and glancing down, he notices just a couple of maids dusting around the first floor. How strange, he thinks, combing his fingers through fiery bangs. He can swear he saw you out of the window quite some time ago. Usually, if he’s home and busy you always stop by to greet him and either have a small conversation if he has some time, or just give each other a kiss if he can’t let his attention stray too far from calculations and planning.

Today, however, you didn’t. The twins could be at fault - they have an ability to easily drag any of you into games and other activities, and it is borderline impossible to resist them. Adelinde always teases him, saying that as a child it was the same and his father had a very hard time telling his son ‘no’, but Diluc wholeheartedly believes that these charms they got from you.

Floorboards make no sound as he is making his way to the twins’ room. Twisting the knob the man can indistinctly hear Adelinde’s voice, muffled by the wood, soon becoming clear as the door opens. He sees the maid sitting on a chair, pulled in front of one of the beds, and holding a fairytale book, which she lowers, turning her head in his direction. The boys - Lucas lying on his stomach and swinging legs and Rufus, sitting closely and hugging his knee - immediately perk up when they hear the door open and, while expecting to see their mother, still feel very excited to see the other parent.

“Papa!” the door clicks shut behind him and Diluc moves further into the room. He greets Adelinde and immediately motions for her to not stand up - she is a servant, but a close friend, he doesn’t need any physical display to know she is loyal and respects him.

“Hello, my little flames,” he sits on the edge of the bed and instantly Rufus climbs in his lap, soon followed by his brother. Boys hug him and kiss his cheeks, letting their weight rest in their father’s strong muscular arms - two small bodies are like two feathers for the man who’s overcome years of training and hardships.

Adelinde closes the book and fondly observes the scene in front of her. It brings distant memories of many years ago, when she was just a young maid, who had just recently started working for the Ragnvindr family. Crepus was a good man and he nurtured and cherished his son and then two. He too used to hold a boy in each arm and carry them around like that when they were still young. Those were such good times and she is so glad they are back so many years after. And all thanks to you.

"Papa?" The voice of the younger twin brings Adelinde back from her thoughts. Her young masters finished giving their dad an overview of their day and now are snuggling to his body.

"Yes, Lu?" The man hums, closely observing both boys. Something isn't right. All of a sudden they both became quiet and something seems to be concerning them.

"Mama is sad," Lucas takes a hold of a thick lock of his father's hair and starts braiding it - or at least imitating something similar, twisting the smaller parts of the strand into something very poorly resembling a proper braid.

"Mama is what?" Though he is asking his son, the eyes are directed to Adelinde, who only shrugs her shoulders in unawareness.

"Mama is sad," eventually repeats Rufus, staring at the ruby brooch on Diluc's cravat, which plays in the light magically. "She came home, said she'll play with us after dinner, and went to your room. But she looked like you when you return home sometimes."

To Diluc that was similar to 'when he returns home looking distraught after a failed mission or nuisance that was ruining his whole day'. This is not good.

"Are you sad too?" Lucas is quick to ask, glancing at his face, abandoning attempts to make dad's hair pretty. A small smile appears on the man's usually neutral face and he shakes his head.

"I am not sad, baby. Do not worry, I promise I'll make mama feel better."

"Can we help?" Again said in unison and from the corner of his eye he sees Adelinde trying to hide her wide grin. He understands her though, his kids are adorable and very compassionate. And this they learned from you.

"Not now, loves. I need to talk to her first, and then we'll do it together. She will be really happy to see you, but a little bit later, I promise.”

“But we want to do something!” Rufus crosses his small arms and Lucas is quick to mirror his brother, nodding his head, making the strands of his bangs bounce.

“Yes! Mama always helps us, we wanna help her too!”

Looking at their pouty but determined faces Diluc feels disarmed - there is no length in this world he is not willing to go for his children, but at the same time he understands that your situation must be delicate and should be handled accordingly.

“If I may, I have a suggestion,” all three glance at Adelinde and she puts the book aside. “Lady promised to play with you outside after dinner, right?” the boys nod. “Then why don’t we organize a picnic! It will be both dinner and the funtime and you get to spend it outdoors. I can cook and you can help me. I am sure it’ll cheer your mother up!”

Diluc sighs in relief. Archons, his father was the smartest person to put this amazing woman in a position she’s been holding for two or so decades now. Not to mention, she raised him and Kaeya in a way, so she is irreplaceable in handling two boys at the same time when first-time parents still struggle.

Boys seem to really like the idea, uncrossing their arms and grabbing onto their dad’s shoulders to climb off of him.

“We are gonna help!”

Adelinde stands up and puts the chair in its original place. Diluc remains sitting for a moment, catching Lucas and settling him back down with the boy's back facing him.

“Daaaad!”

“Wait a little bit, Lu, your ponytail is loose,” Lucas doesn’t have any other choice but to watch Rufus show him his tongue and shake his own little mane of flaming hair proudly - the older twin prefers to wear them down. His glee is short-lived though, as Adelinde bends down and starts combing through his wild locks as well.

“We don’t need any hair in food, so let’s tie a ponytail too.”

“But Aaaaddie!”

“No ‘but’s, right, Master?”

Diluc hums, tying black ribbon in Lucas’s hair. Now, as the two stand side by side, it would’ve been hard to tell who is who, if they wore similar clothes. Though, even with different clothes and different hairstyles, they are still constantly confused, which the twins are always happy to use in their favor.

“Addie, come, come! The picnic!”

“Alright, alright, let’s go. We’ll see you soon, Master.”

And by ‘you’ she means both the husband and the wife.

Three careful but steady knocks against the heavy wood of the only barrier that separates him and his own personal paradise of your shared bedroom, the only obstacle that is keeping him away from you.

"My love? Can I come in?"

He strains his ears to hear any sound from the inside - shuffling of blankets, thudding of feet against the floor, rattling of curtain clamps as the thick fabric is moved to reveal the window - anything that would tell him of your state. But there is no such sound. The only thing Diluc hears is your rasped 'come in!' and then you clearing your throat.

Your husband doesn't need to be told twice, and a moment later he pushes the door closed behind him. Ruby eyes take in the room to estimate the severity of your condition. He notices the blankets in a heap on the bed and pillows rearranged - this must've been your improvised shelter for releasing your emotions, abandoned when the purpose was served. He notices the clothes you left in this morning on a chair, - you, most likely, didn't have much energy to hang it in the drawer after changing, and he doesn't blame you for it. Then his focus is on the window, something that has been teasing his peripheral vision. It is not obscured by the drapes and is, in fact, opened ajar, filling the bedroom with warm soft light, enough to not lit the candles just yet. And then, basking in this sunlight, your figure is seated on the armchair, hair just slightly swaying in a small breeze, creating an ethereal image together with the halo of sun rays

You watch as the love of your life loosens his cravat a little and takes a deep breath, before finding his way in front of you. He towers above you, but you do not feel intimidated, looking at him from your sitting position and offering him a meek smile.

“I am sorry I didn’t come to greet you as always… Didn’t want to worry you much, but it seems I did in the end,” a small chuckle and a soft hum when his hand gently cups your cheek, thumb caressing the skin where dried tear streaks were easy to make out in the light.

“Please, don’t apologize,” his voice is deep and soothing and makes your wearied heart flutter. “If you needed a moment for yourself I respect your decision.”

Oh, Celestia must love you. Diluc has his flaws, admittedly (and who doesn’t?), but he makes sure that in your relationship respect and trust are never forgotten, and you greatly appreciate it. Gazing into his eyes, warm as a fireplace on a cold night, fills you with serenity and tranquility, making the photo album in your hands feel less heavy.

Finally Diluc notices it and then a couple more on a windowsill nearby. Seems like you’ve been relishing in some memories and now, when his worries have been a little bit subdued, he is curious.

"Love, stand up for me?"

Nodding, you swiftly lift yourself and take a small step aside, just enough for him to slide into the plush armchair and bring you in his lap. A blissful sigh leaves your chest when you feel the heat of your husband’s body. One arm securely wraps around your waist and you tuck your head under his chin, feeling the other hand resting on your knees right under the book of captured moments of your life.

A comfortable silence settles between you two for a while. You keep turning the pages, eyes traveling over the colorful pictures, and Diluc just holds you, rubbing absent-minded circles on your hip with his thumb and looking in the album over your head.

Diluc gives you a little bit more time and only when you sigh and lower the book he attempts to start a conversation.

“Do you want to talk?” somehow, the question doesn’t fill with dread and the next phrase makes your heart burst with pure joy. “Ru and Lu are worried. They said you looked sad when you arrived and really wanted to make it better.”

“Ah, aren’t our angels the sweetest?” you softly murmur, reaching out to rub at your eye.

“Of course they are. They got that from you.”

From you… But did they really?

After ridding off the pent up emotions with tears, as if guided by some unseen force you took the photo albums out. There are many brilliant pictures that tell your family’s story: starting from the images of your multiple dates, transitioning into dozens from your wedding and then hundreds of your life as spouses and parents. Some were taken by either of you, some - by bystanders, some you got thanks to the winery staff, some were sneaked by Kaeya (those are ones of the most heartfelt, as the man managed to catch Diluc in his softest moments) and some were done by professional photographers. The photos that you needed to see the most were ones of your sons. You spent much more time on those, examining their hair, eyes, facial features and everything else in regard to their appearances, only to come to one simple conclusion - they truly look like carbon copies of their father.

“Luc…” you start with uncertainty, gripping the pages of the newest of the albums. “I wouldn't say I am sad… More like I got overwhelmed and my emotions had better of me. Needed a moment to let it all out not to combust later. I didn’t tell you, because I believed in myself and thought I could withstand it on my own, but the nobles started bothering me again,” you feel his body going stiff and a hand on your knee clench involuntarily. You lift the album and put your palm on top of his, squeezing it. “It wasn’t bad at first, nothing unusual - it was very simple to ignore. But in a couple of months it got worse. Now they openly say nasty things about me. They refer to me as nothing but a 'Master Diluc's kids' mother'! As if I am some kind of a decoration to you, like I am not my own person now! Can you imagine that..?" A deep sigh. "And then they say that I can't even be their mother, because they look nothing like me! I guess,” you gulp, forcing the bubbling emotions back down, “the very notion that someone considers such a possibility offended me and despite my better judgment I couldn’t just disregard it… So yeah,” you show him the pages that are currently open: there are pictures of your boys, one where they chase the crystal flies and the other of them napping on each other on a sofa in the living room. “I just wanted to see if they really do not resemble me at all. I know it’s stupid-”

“No, it isn’t,” you abruptly close your mouth - the firmness of his tone has taken you by surprise.

Diluc didn’t mean to cut you off so harshly, but your words made him feel two things. The first is a total fury - how dare someone to have the guts to speak to or about you like that? Say whatever you’d like about him, but when it comes to you and his kids - it’s a totally different story. The second is a heartbreak - while he doesn’t let pointless words get to him personally and he logically thinks you know he loves you dearly and that Rufus and Lucas are yours, he can see how much those scumbag’s words affected you, and it crushes him to see you weighed down by this.

“None of your concerns is stupid, even though what those…vermins say is an absolute lie,” he brings a hand to your face to gently hold it and smiles when you close your eyes and lean into its warmth. “My flame, our boys are like you too, a lot actually. Maybe not in their looks, but they have so many of your lovely personality qualities that I couldn’t possibly have given them. Look at their wide smiles and ardent gleam in their eyes - they are yours. They definitely share your spirit - which I admire with my whole heart.”

“You really think so..?” you ask quietly, tips of fingers touching the back of his hand, that quickly leaves your cheek and holds onto yours instead.

“Of course, and I know that deep down you believe so too, it just got buried under all of that emotional shambles," Diluc is still not the one to talk a lot, but if it is you, he has so much to say. "Let me remind you that the world doesn’t depend on those idiots’ opinions - you are adored by many others in the community, by our friends and family. Every time our boys look at you, I see the purest love reflecting in their eyes. And I,” he takes a small pause to press a kiss to your knuckles, “I adore you the most. You are the glue that holds all of us together, the Lady of the house, the mother of my children, my loving wife and partner, but most importantly - you are yourself and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Stooop,” you whine, hiding your face in his chest, but not letting go of his hand. “You are making me blush.”

“It suits you,” Diluc chuckles, lifting his other hand to comb through your slightly messy locks. “Red looks really good on you.”

“Pff, the last time you told me so was when you tried to excuse the marks you left on my chest!” you gently bump your forehead into his shoulder and start butting him.

“Still stand by my point,” the redhead presses his cheek to the side of your restless head, returning his arm back around your waist. “But I mean it when I say that without you we are nothing. If you hadn’t entered my life, I wouldn’t be blessed with this family. We smile and laugh and feel so full of love every day only because you are here to love and guide us in ways I don’t feel like I’m capable of.”

“You totally are, the fire of my heart,” he feels your lips on his neck and knows that his own cheeks are being attacked by pink dust.

“Maybe I am, but your contribution is way much more. You know what the boys kept asking after telling me of your sadness?” you lift your head and curiously stare in his gemlike eyes. Diluc is mesmerized for a moment when he sees yours - so clear and honest, with no tear threatening to spill. The smile is back to your pretty lips and your body language is no longer closed off and wounded. You finally look like yourself again, and it fills Diluc’s with joy and pride for you and how strong you actually are.

“They kept asking if they could help you anyhow. They were very eager about it and got a bit moody when I told them they can’t just yet. They love you, dearly.”

“Yes, we do!”

Both of your heads whip to the still closed door and you nearly drop the photo album, which your husband is quick to grab.

“Did you hear that too?” you ask Diluc confused and he nods, putting the book aside.

“Yes, it seems like we have an audience here,” he quietly murmurs to you and then continues in a louder voice, “boys, what did we tell you about eavesdropping?”

“It’s bad!” two voices chime cheerfully and you snort in your fist.

“But affi… effisi… argh, good when work!” adds Rufus and you bet he looks proud. Side-glancing at the groaning redhead, who gently lifts you off his lap and then joins you on his own feet, you ask:

“Why do they know about work?”

“Probably Kaeya. Gonna strangle him later.”

He won’t.

Nevertheless, you are the first to step to the door and open it, revealing the two little troublemakers, who immediately pounce on you, wrapping their arms around your legs.

“Mama, we were so worried…” Lucas presses his face into the fabric of your skirt. Rufus nods but looks up at you with big carmine eyes.

“How are you?”

Such a simple question, but it makes you feel so loved and cherished. Heaving a sigh you reach to comb through their soft locks - the action, which works wonders on any of these three redheads of yours.

You feel Diluc joining your side, wrapping a loose arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your temple, which makes you even more confident.

“I am fine now, rested and ready to spend time with you as promised. Thank you for asking,” you smile, patting the tops of their heads. “Just let me tell the maids to start on dinner.”

“No need, we did it!” the twins grin, unwrapping their arms from around your legs and instead clasping your hands in theirs. You have a feeling of déjà vu - it really reminds you of the scene when you came home.

“What do you mean, sweethearts?”

“You’ll see! Just come with us! Come, come!” They chant and chant, tagging on your hands and you feel how Diluc takes a step forward, attempting to push your body into motion with his own.

“Oh, okay,” you are confused, but you can’t really fight when all three are on the same mission, so you choose to follow them. You walk through the second floor and then down the stairs, but, much to your surprise, pass by the empty dining table and to the front door. You start to doubt their intentions.

“Wait, wait, I am wearing my house dress! And my hair must be such a mess!”

The boys stop right in front of the exit, turning their heads to look at you.

“I think mama is very pretty,” Lucas says.

“She is the most pretty!” Rufus huffs, but reaches to his hair - which you only now notice to be in a ponytail - and takes his ribbon off, offering it to you. “Here, you can use it, if you want.”

“See? They got this from you,” your husband whispers in your ear as you can’t fight back the gleeful smile, rearranging your hair to look decently.

Outside meets you with such a familiar smell of full ripe grapes that mixes into the wind and envelopes you in a summertime embrace. Soon is the harvest season and you'll enjoy watching your family picking up the juicy berries alongside the winery workers.

Your kids lead you and your husband through the vineyard and a little bit to the side, where you, even from a distance, notice Adelinde tending to something on the ground. When you get closer, she straightens up and smiles at you warmly, to which you respond with a soft smile of your own.

“I am happy to see you with us, my Lady,” and you know that she really means it. Diluc is right, there are many people who love and respect you, way more than a small group of envious remnants of the past.

“Mama, look, a picnic!” The boys point at the big blanket and you finally take in the many plates with fresh and mouth-watering dishes, a big jug filled with juice and four glass cups to match. Adelinde also has four pillows ready for you to comfortably sit - the blanket and the grass underneath do little to soften the ground - and hands everyone one so you can settle.

“Boys, this is amazing… Honestly, I am speechless,” you admit, clenching the pillow to your chest and not believing your eyes. The boys in question smile happily, waving their pillows around in excitement and nearly hitting each other with them.

“Addie cooked and we helped!” Rufus eventually puts the part of the decor - which you are sure were taken from the sofa in the hall - on top of his head and pretends to be a pirate in a cocked hat. Oh, the uncle’s influence.

“We also put everything here. On our own!” Lucas clarifies, watching the other twin closely.

You look at Adelinde for explanation.

“Ah, yes, they chose the spot, laid the blanket out and then even tried to carry the plates with food here, but I worried they’d be heavy for them, so they had to leave it to other maids. But they told where and what should be placed.”

Before you can open your mouth and praise your sons, Lucas playfully swings his pillow and knocks his brother’s off of his head, to which the eldest indignantly yelps. He doesn’t stay stunned for long though, grabbing his now imaginable sword and gets ready to attack the giggling younger and start a pillow fight.

But their father clears his throat.

“Rufus, Lucas, behave,” Diluc warns them before they can knock or spill something on their improvised dinner ‘table’. Twins glare at each other, yet hold their respective ‘weapons’ to themselves. “After all, you worked so hard to make mama happy. You don’t want her to be sad again, right?”

This makes both little redheads instantly forget about the battle and their attention is back on you, complete and undivided.

Finally the four of you sit down - Diluc across you and boys immediately by your sides - and begin your outdoor dinner. The oldest Ragnvindr contently sips on his juice and watches his wonderful wife handle their fidgety sons. His keen eye notices everything - matching bright smiles and identically sounding sonorous laughter, the way the boys gaze at you charmed and lean into you when you refill their plates or glasses and your gentle touch and soft voice when you interact with your precious fireflies - so many obvious traits they share with you and anyone who doesn’t see it is either blind or an idiot.

He hopes you see this truth as well, and both your heart and mind make peace with it. After all, there is only one person that can be by his side, be the mother of his children and make this family happy - and the answer is always going to be you.

taglist: @sleep-deprivedracoon

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc x fem!reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #dadluc #genshin impact fluff #pearly family au

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