#I am going to attempt some sleep now
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Hey, remember when I took a bunch of versions of Hello World that I found and put them together? Well, at one point this weekend I decided to look further into how many different covers exist of Louie Zong's song, Hello World. It's a lot. Holy heckity snek it is it a lot. So I grabbed a bunch of them and added them on! Second verse, same as the first as they say in at least one other song (and other places, I imagine). Of course, it's important I give credit where credit is due, because largely all I did here was record other folk's work, line them up, and adjust independent volumes a little to try and make sure no one voice took over the whole thing:
The Original Hello World by Louie Zong
The Miku Cover by Kichi
The Moonbase Alpha Cover by lizard_located
scariebearie's mashup that combined the above three versions, and technically got me started on this adventure.
Lyricwulf's piano version, which gets quite some mileage here
The Eleanor Forte version made by Oten
And the version by EDEN too
The Leon Cover by Cherlieisntthere
canelĂn's cover
Nana Youko's UTAU Arpasing version
The Rin cover by ghostcandies
Honey Skye's cover
The version done by the Vtuber Akriel
The one where yinyang48 got hex from FNF to sing it
Gian Gregorio's Cover
A cover by Shy Siesta
And there's still that pinch of Steely Dan at the end
Same rules as before apply if you find yourself on this list (also, if you do find yourself on this list, I wish to state that you did a real good job). I hope you all enjoy and that all of this listening to various covers of one song will somehow improve what the youtube algorithm gives me.
#louie zong#audio#music#vocaloid#mashup#steely dan#I am not apologizing to the steely dan fans this time#do listen to Rikki Don't Lose That Number in your free time though#it's a good song#I am going to attempt some sleep now#I feel like I need more tags for this but I don't wanna#maybe one of these days I should learn digital drawing and make a youtube version of this with a cute little thumbnail#I'm starting to feel like my mother by making all these tags after saying that I'm gonna go to bed
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Sevenâs Public Diary#wish i wasnât so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#iâm so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i donât like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but itâs like my body was fucking built for that or something#i donât like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didnât need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didnât get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap wouldâve been fine and i wouldâve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and iâll either give in and attempt to take a ânapâ and itâll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or iâll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and iâll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i donât know how much longer theyâre gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think thatâd like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. iâm addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc itâs all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnessesâ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and itâs the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) thatâs enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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why brain whyyyy
i just want to read a book why must it make me paranoid?? I want to Sleep đ
#this is about The Book of Bill#No Spoilers#typing out loud#Paranoid From Book Edition#but ya know it's meant to be kinda scary. a bit horrifying. Fills you with some dread#and i pointedly ignored that! i laughed at things and went âyou cant do that! this is a fictional bookâ#now its almost 5am and my Bill plush I got hanging up is Taunting Me#i have a nightlight (im a wimp) but the plush is obscured so its all shadowy#and i see it! without glasses! and Get the Jeebies!#ive had to grab my flashlight and stare at it. or turn on my lamp and stare at it.#or make a tumblr post and occasionally look up to stare at it#damn you Alex for letting me get my paranoid hands on this book (/pos)#fr I think im going to have to take plush Bill down so i can attempt to sleep again#it's that or wait for the sun! yay all nighters! hhhhhhhhhh#i didn't get to read all the book yesterday. reading physical books make me sleepy after a while sob#but man! its a trip. a journey. who knows what's on the next page! not me!#i also blame gus. not like gus gus (rip my man) but his unfortunate.. situation#its also rattling around my spooked brain and not helping <3#wait his name is gus right?? im so tired ugh#ah whatever you either get it or you dont lol#i could play mc.. but.. eepy#but also. no big light = no good#and i cant guarantee relocating the plush will solve my problem#gaaah why am i like thissss. i think of plenty scary things!! why must the well dressed triangle be my downfall#crying on the floor#âi think of plenty scary thingsâ bruh i cant sleep without a nightlight what am i on about lmao#maybe that's the point. im a wimp <3 so many things are scary to me. huh#Anyway!#Read the book. Or Don't#I am! Will! Have?
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I'm pretty sure what I just had wasn't a breakdown but it sure fucking felt like one
#to recap. there was a mouse and a bag in my room. freaked me out. i removed the bag but the mouse remained.#i kept hearing it. i kept thinking it was trying to climb up onto the bed or it was already on me#this continued for a span of around 20 minutes that felt like an hour#finally i stopped trying to sleep. eventually i started crying. i am now upstairs in my sisters old room where i know mice cant get#i am terrified still and exhausted because it is five am and i havent slept. my leg muscles are jittery#anyway i feel miserable. i am going to give my best attempt at sleeping and if that doesnt work#i have several hours of zelda speedruns to watch. or i might just cry some more.#mb's two am rambling
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me: man theres so much transparents for sif2 cards, but nothing for linklive. i guess i gotta make some, how hard it could it be?
1 hour later
me: god is dead and i have fucked up twice tonight
WHY DID I HAVE TO CHOOSE THE RECENT EVENT CARDS
#my ass just wanted to make some transparents for the link live cards since im making an image collage of my favs from love live#had to change some to fit the style better#when getting to hasunosora i wanted to make the transparents myself since there isnt an official database for them#i am so sorry to all of the people who make transparents#i have a massive headache now due to trying to make anime girls look decent enough to put into a goddamn picture collage#i gotta go to sleep rn i am not attempting to make another transparent sayaka when her idolized is such a pain to delete the backgrounds
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got my hair cut today (haven't had it cut since early april) and it always looks good when a stylist blow drys it but it's always sorta a toss up of if it'll look good with my normal styling (which is basically nothing lol) so the jury's out until tomorrow BUT
right now i really like it đ„ș i got a bunch cut off and i feel so much better đ„ș
#personal#i love getting my hair cut but hate paying for it L O L#also i'm lazy about actually booking appointments#so i go longer between haircuts than i probably should but i don't really care#also i went to a new stylist today and she was really nice!!#always makes me feel good when they tell me my hair is healthy hahaha#she also said she thought i was like 19 which is not even close and i know she was probably just being nice but I'LL TAKE IT LOLOLOL#and i got a lil bit of a special hair mask done on a whim and my hair feels so softttttt#most of the time stylists at this salon take like...30-45 minutes for my appointments but this one ended up lasting a solid hour and a half#which i didn't even realize bc it didn't feel like an hour and a half#and my hair certainly doesn't LOOK like it took an hour and a half#but i didn't have anything else going on and it was nice to just sorta sit there with no expectations and chill#i didn't sleep as much as i would've liked to last night though and i am incredibly tired#and yet i agreed to go hang out with friends tomorrow#so i suppose i should attempt some amount of sleep now fjeiao;fe help me
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just rewatched half of Home Invasion and god. I am obsessed with Steven Wilson but in such a weirdly specific way vs other musicians?? like obviously I adore his music and his songwriting totally resonates with me but also, without being weird about it Iâm, like, obsessed with him as a⊠physical being? completely nonsexually (being ace and all) but man I have never wanted to give someone a HUG so BADLY. also the way he never wears shoes and is so casual onstage? like, he looks like he could be sitting on the sofa, not a made-up RockstarTM. Iâm just here like đ„șđ„ș and then thereâs his mannerisms/gesticulations which are just fascinating to me. idk basically Iâm aesthetically/sensually as well as musically insane about this guy lol. canât wait for the new album and to actually see him in person next year!!
#heâs a victim of that thing where you get into an artist. and they are completely normal/average looking#then you get obsessed and they become weirdly attractive#like aesthetic/musical demisexuality lol#i am sooo into him but it feels weird bc the intensity is. like. sexual. LMAO#and it totally isnât. again me being ace and all#(sidenote iâm feeling more confident/less imposterish in saying that now!)#i watch that concert vid and iâm just. vibrating. with some kinda pure serotonin from him just like sitting there#cause iâm clearly very normal about him and his music LMAO#this post is an attempt to remove some of that energy so i can sleep đ€Ł#i love being able to interact with my favourite musicians in a completely sane way yall :)#dustnroses.txt#someone tell me you know what i mean and i donât just sound like an obsessive psycho lol#iâm like this with others to an extent (most notably mikael Ă„kerfeldt- go figure) but my brain totally latched onto steven for some reason#most other ppl iâm just like you make cool music ily! and thatâs the end of it#with varying levels of aesthetic attraction#ok iâll shut up now i think iâve embarrassed myself enough
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#okay okay okay I have to try to sleep . now that I got SOME of the first impression thoughts out of my head#I am sure that as soon as I relisten I will have so many more thoughts#and I havenât had a chance to listen to the remastered Troy and Cyclops Sagas yet so I am SO EXCITED FOR THOSE#but if I donât try to sleep a little I know my excited rambly thoughts are just going to be#completely nonsensical#so. time to do my best to try to sleep through the flood of EPIC thoughts#for at LEAST a few hours bc I was at work all day and then a picnic and Iâve been up for like 17 hours and just.#Brain needs to attempt to sleep at least for a while!! I can wake up and talk about EPIC again first thing brain#but you need to sleep a LITTLE BIT first#personal#edit I immediately failed and made 3 more posts about EPIC#edit edit I CANNOT STOP I went through all my old epic posts and it gave me MORE THOUGHTS
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Fucking exhausted from my grocery shop today and dad drops that all the fuckin work i did clearing shit on monday/tuesday that he SAID needed to be done "as soon as possible" aka THAT DAY when i was ALREADY SUPER FATIGUED is FUCKINGGGGG USELESSSSSSS
i am. Pure rage.
#my fatigue has been so fucking bad my health is getting worse my POTS is getting worse i've had such bad side effects of this fuckin meds#i could have fuckin used the energy i WASTED on that fuckin cleaning#I'D FEEL LESS SHITTY TODAY IF I HADNT DONE THAT SHIT#MY SLEEP CYCLE WOULDNT BE SO FUCKRD#i am trying not to have a melt/shutdown and i am trying not to cry with pure frustration#if you dont want to fuckin clean it say that dont fuckin indirectly blame me#christ i cant keep up with life what the fuck am i supposed to do#welp shutdown incoming ha ha#not only that but being proud of myself for smth and then having the rug yanked out from under me is a huge trigger#so not only was i already burned out snd exhausted i'm now massively triggered bc that thing i was somewhat proud of#has proved to be a massive waste of time and effort and energy and it's like having that achievement torn away from me#awesome. great. fuck i wish i had some weed#honestly i should have asked to go into the psych ward in june instead of july. sigh.#gonna be not-funny funny when my psych asks how im doing and i get to tell her between the last appt and admittance i've struggled with#active suicidal feelings ~3+ times ha ha#and then no doubt someone will say âat least you didnt attemptâ yeah well thats only bc i'm scared of failing and being more disabled#the second i'm too distraught to worry abt that it's fuckin over for me bitches#anyway i would like to die in my sleep#maybe i stop the blood pressure meds and hope for a heart attack
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uh oh! worlds stupidest little guy used the wrong lotion and now everything smells like my childhood bathroom and the year is 2016 and its february which means its almost valentines day which is perhaps the most accursed date on the calendar and the year is 2016 and your least favorite little guy is in full blown survival panic mode!
#fuuuuuuuuck#head in hands#i fucking . have had perhaps the worst week ive had in years . including all my time in indy last year#i have not had a single win since . idk. last saturday maybe ?#uhhhhh i dont like springtime its the most painfully nostalgic time of year#and idk why i even have this lotion but everything is dry and itchy so i was like hey im gonna treat myself to some basic self care#and now my apartment smells like my second suicide attempt and everything is horrible actually . into the garbage with you.#im going to stick my legs into the fireplace and hopefully the smell of burning flesh will drown it out!!!!!#that is. not serious. im just like. fuck#i was supposed to go home tommorrow but yet another tragedy has struck because the universe fucking hates me#so now i domt know whether i want to or not#like. is it better to grieve alone in my apartment where i (usually) feel safe#or should i go home and be surrounded by grieving family which is. a whole other process i dont know if i want to deal with#pros. i get to see loki and i am extremely pet deprived . cons. my parents are going to ask me questions about my life#and also i have to sleep in my childhood bedroom a week away from my most mentally ill day of the damn year#ugm. um. yeah#i need to cry but i havent been able to cry in a really long time and i know it would be cathartic#but also its already 1030 pm and i cant spend two more hours having a sobbing fest because i have work in the morning#and i dont know how to make myself cry without doing things that would be even more damaging to my mental state#so instead i will stare at a wall and hope the smell goes away and try to fall asleep. i fucking guess#uhhhhhhhhhhhhhg#im holding it together by a fucking thread and boy is it fraying
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ââââ In the beginning of your relationship, you learned that Satoru was the type who liked to sleep cuddling. Before meeting you, Satoru used to sleep hugging a pillow, even. It wasn't exactly a necessity for him, but just something he liked and that made him fall asleep faster. You, on the other hand, weren't exactly that type.
Hugs before sleeping? Perfect. Having someone on top of you while trying to sleep? Not so perfect. Fortunately, the two of you reached an agreement about that.
But sometimes, like today, Satoru was extremely clingy. He was sleeping deeply, with his body completely on top of yours, his face buried in the curve of your neck, and a leg trapped between yours.
You loved holding him that way, having the strongest man you had ever known so vulnerable curled up in your arms and sleeping peacefully. Satoru slept heavily when he felt that comfortable, and the deeper he slept, the heavier he became on you. As mentioned, your boyfriend is a strong guy, so now it was almost uncomfortable for you.
You feel this pressure against your chest as he rests on you, completely at ease. You thought that maybe, if you tried hard enough, you could fall asleep, but no, itâs not possible.
"Baby..." You whisper, hoping it will be enough to wake him, but he just keeps snoring, each snore reverberating through your body.
"Toru...?" You try again, a little louder.
"SATORU!" Still nothing. He barely moves a bit in his sleep, letting out a particularly loud snore.
OK. Plan B. If you can't get him off, it's time to slide down. Only after two unsuccessful attempts, you somehow manage to do it, taking a big breath as you escape. You haven't even fully turned to the side when Satoru wakes up, confused and abandoned, with the source of warmth under him gone. He moves his hand aimlessly over the sheets until he feels you.
"Where are you going?" He murmurs sleepily, moving closer to you. "No..." A heavy arm wraps around you, pulling you back to him with ease. Thereâs a soft hum as he feels your body fit into his.
"Toru?" You call him sweetly. "You know I can't sleep like this, hmm? Come on." You pat his arm, signaling for him to let you go.
Satoru doesn't move. Instead, he just makes some whiny sounds before rubbing his face in your hair.
"Come on, let me go, please?" More pleading.
"Nuh-uh, I don't want to." He whines. "Hug me." He pouts, looking so needy and neglected.
"Love, you're acting like a baby" You complain.
"Because I am. I'm your baby!" He says defiantly. "So, you should treat me like one."
At this point, you know it won't help to try to convince him when he's in this mood. You sigh, deciding to give up and give in.
About five minutes pass in complete silence and then Satoru quietly asks: "You really can't sleep?" The thought of this now bothers him. How could he relax knowing that you're not even comfortable?
"Mhm" You respond as he pulls separates from you.
"OK, I'll give up the hug time for you!" He sighs, rolling away from you dramatically. A few minutes later, he sighs again, a bit louder.
This is his cue to tell you that you should give in and cuddle with him. But you can't, having finally found a position that relaxes all the right places in your body, perfect for falling asleep.
"Are you really going to leave me abandoned?" His voice is so stupidly captivating that it makes you melt. You can't say no to that.
Satoru smiles when he hears the rustling of the sheets, your body moving toward him.
With open arms, he welcomes you back as you rest your head on his chest. "I think I can sleep like this..." You admit as he smiles, making sure you're comfortable but still wrapped up in him.
Hiii, long time no see, uh? đThis time I brought something cute, a thought I had because I've been feeling so needy and missing our Gojođ
(It is not well corrected, please ignore any possible mistakes.)
Your interaction is very important to me, reblogs and comments are always welcome. đ«¶đ»đ
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#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo x f!reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x you#jjk x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen x female reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#gojo satoru fluff#gojo imagine#gojo x female reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk imagines#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo#gojo jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jjk
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superfan! yandere boy x gn! popstar reader
â° warnings: stalking, obsessiveness, breaking and entering, nsfw, masochist yandere, overstimulation, thigh riding, bondage, male masturbation, unhealthy behavior, average yandere tendencies, male yandere oc (heâs very pathetic and perverted, itâs giving âstep on meâ energy.) gender neutral reader
â° a/n: heyyyyy guess who isnât dead.. i literally open tumblr every 3 minutes i just havenât been posting. but iâm hereeeee lol. hereâs a random yandere oc post, sorry itâs not mortal kombat. (tbh i have faded away from my mk obsession and now i am obsessed with until dawn, the quarry, tlou, and rdr.)
part two here!
superfan! yandere boy that buys all of your merchandise and streams your music on loop 24/7. even while he sleeps.
superfan! yandere boy that commissions artists to draw you and him together in different styles. some of them may depict him on a cute date with you, and some are more explicit and depict you stepping on him or choking him.
superfan! yandere boy that sneaks into your concerts if he didnât manage to buy a ticket. no matter how strong your security is, he will always manage to find a way in and pretend he's just a regular fan.
superfan! yandere boy that will even sneak onto your house and film you through your window for hours, and then he would go home and touch himself to the footage of you.
superfan! yandere boy that wants to buy meet-and-greet tickets to see you, and be able to feel your presence up close and be able to speak to you personally. but as much as he craves your attention, he knows he wouldn't be able to handle it and would crumble immediately the second you look him in the eyes.
superfan! yandere boy that pays people to stalk you and take pictures of you when he can't do it himself. especially ones when you have a wardrobe malfunction.
superfan! yandere boy that goes to sleep every night fantasizing and dreaming of you. his particular favorite wet dream is of you letting him ride your thigh, grinding against your skin as a desperate attempt to feel any friction on his cock. your hands would roam around his body as he relishes in your attention, no matter where you touch him. any small nudge or brush against his skin would set his heart on fire and oh no where'd his pants go-
superfan! yandere boy that thinks you could do no wrong. you said something offensive and got yourself cancelled? he is your number one defender and would be threatening your naysayers on the internet. he would even go as far as to learn to hack just so he could delete their accounts.
superfan! yandere boy that almost WANTS to get caught. he knows he wouldn't be able to handle your attention, so he avoids it, but a part of him wants to get caught and outed for his perverted, stalker ways. he wants to hear you cuss him out and degrade him. he wants to see the disgusted look on your face as he is exposed for everything he did. spit on him, kick him, treat him like vermin, he doesn't mind. he gets off on the thought of you punishing him. he has a particular fantasy where your punishment for him is by tying him up and overstimulating him until he is crying, whimpering, and almost fainting. but he would still beg for more. no matter how long it lasts. it could be a week long and he still wouldn't be satisfied.
#yandere x reader#sub yandere#male yandere#gn reader#dom reader#yandere oc#yandere x you#soft yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x darling#yan oc#yan x reader#male yandere x reader#top reader#sub character#yandere requests#yandere#x reader#oc x reader#yandere smut#yandere oneshot#masochist yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere insert#yandere boys x popstar reader
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The Van Has Officially Declared It Spooky Season
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I've got my parent's van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.
...I might need to back up a bit.
My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she'd need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they're past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.
They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it's own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.
Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.
My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.
Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I've been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.
It's a Great Van. Very easy and comfortable to drive. Stunningly good MPG for it's size. The best cruise control I've ever had in a car.
It's just also. Quirky. Mischievous, even.
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If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny's last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted "FREE CANDY" on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.
It's got the same issue that Doberman Dogs have where they look like the sort of creature that likes to snack on toddler's faces whilst actually having personalities made of marshmallow fluff. This vehicle is unnecessarily menacing and I think nothing short of an airbrushed Epic Van Wizard will correct this. People see this van pull up and lean over and squint suspiciously at me when the driver's side door opens, and then look moderately confused when, instead of Charles Manson, a small, potato-shaped creature with neon purple hair and a statistically unlikely assortment of dogs emerges.
My own two dogs, Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin/Corgi and Charleston Chew The Taco Dumpster Dog, Do Not Like The Van. Even with the bed in it, they have a tendency to slide and roll around in the back, and both WILL chew through dog saftey belts or other attempts to secure them in there.
On the other hand, my house mate's dog, an exceptionally tall standard poodle whom we lovingly call "The Creature", loves the Van because SHE wears her doggy seat-belt with only mild complaining and gets to sit up in the passenger seat like A People.
Also like A People, The Creature likes to stand and walk around on her hind legs. It doesn't hurt her and it's entirely voluntary, but every so often I will feel a hand on my arm and instead of my husband or friend, it's a canine that's taller than I am on her hind legs who wants to stare at my face with soulful, concerned eyes. The Creature's favorite thing is that she is exactly the right height for me to hold her arm in Genteel Fashion and walk around the pet food or hardware store with her like I'm a count escorting a debutante around a royal ball.
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As it stands, I am set to inherit this vehicle whenever my Honda gives up the ghost, and I fully intend to paint an Epic Van Wizard on it when that time comes.
The other peculiarity of The Van is that while Dad did manage to successfully install all his after-market electronics, not all the electronics get along. Sometimes, they fight for Dominance. The Terabyte Music Player and the Backup Camera have a particularly contentious relationship, and turning on the music has about a 25% chance of turning on the backup camera as well, and turning on the Backup Camera is equally likely to turn on the music.
Firthermore, The Van has a favorite song.
I am not kidding that Dad filled an entire terabyte hard drive with music and the software to sort it via the radio controls, but of all the Early Boomer Dad Rock (Kingston Trio over The Eagles) and Irish Folk and Symphonies and the entire discography of Weird Al Yankovic, The Van's favorite song- The one it picks to play as victory music every time it beats the Backup Camera at their weird electronic game of rock-paper-scissors -is The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.
You all know this song already.
...but in case you've forgotten the tune:
youtube
Yeah.
The Van's favorite song is the goddamn Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music.
It does not play this song at a normal volume.
Every time I turn on the Backup Camera and it manages to turn the music player on as well, The Van insists on absolutely blasting this nonsense on at the maximum volume it's physically capable of producing, which I know is loud enough to be heard from the Denver International Airport's Pickup zone when they Van decided to start playing it from the economy lot about half a mile away.
Perhaps it's The Van's way of honoring the aesthetic sensibilities and sonic enthusiasm of Mr. Sousa.
...I can't help but wonder if the purpose of an Epic Van Wizard is to control this sort of faerie-like malarkey, and channel these chaotic energies into things like Spell of Don't Break Down In Nevada or Enchantment Of Always Have Good Parking.
---
So last Friday the 13th, I get a call from my friend and housemate, at said airport.
It's roughly 11PM at night, and I have already retired for the evening. I am in the exact minimum of clothing required to be a decent housemate and not scandalize the neighbors should I happen to walk by a window. My feet are up. There is a cat in my lap and fictional British people murdering each other in highly inventive fashion on the tv. -But my friend has returned from her friend's wedding,and either American or United Airlines has managed to lose her luggage, including, among other valuable possessions, the keys to her car. ...So she cannot just drive home as originally planned.
There are, as luck would have it, her spare set of keys not eight feet from me.
Being a good and decent person, I agree to bring the spare keys to her so she may get home before daybreak and not spend a semester's worth of tuition on an uber across the greater Denver traffic jam.
Being also that she Loves Activities, and it's her mom we're going to pick up, I elect to take along The Creature.
I am primarily focused on remembering how to get to the airport and not leaving my friend's spare keys on the counter, so I throw on a pair of flip-flops, step outside, remember that it's AUTUMN and my minimal evening attire is not sufficient thermal protection, step back in, grab the first coat in the closet I lay hands on, pull it on, check that I have her keys again and leave.
The trip to the airport is largely unremarkable, save that it becomes necessary for me to put on sunglasses to drive, despite it being nearly the witching hour and almost entirely darker than the inside of a cow.
It's necessary because this blissful darkness of night is violently punctured by a startling number of cars that seem to have installed miniaturized but no less powerful lighthouse bulbs in where their headlights ought to go so the oncoming traffic and sports cars that insist on tailgating me in the slow lane alike illuminate the road and my mirrors with the kind of radiance I'd normally associate with the arrival of a Seraphim.
I arrive at the distant highly discounted airport car lot where my housemate is waiting, deeply apologetic. It's nothing. I say. Once I see that your car starts up, I'm gonna go to that 7-11 across the way that I parked in front of, get a slurpee or something and I'll see you at home.
While she is retrieving her vehicle (an equally eccentric but much more stately Subaru that is old enough to be elected to congress) I rifle through the loose change in the glove box and discover that I have exactly $6.66 in small bills and coins. The Subaru, continuing it's long voyage into vehicular immortality, immediately starts up.
Upon her return, we all remember that my friend had all her camping gear in the backseat of the car and there is no room for The Creature to ride home with her parent, so I again assure her it's nothing, and will just take The Creature into the 7-11 with me. She is trained as a service animal and needs the practice after the plague.
I wave my friend off and turn to enter the 7-11.
I promptly trip over the jutting back bumper of The Van and fall, cartoonishly, face-first onto the sidewalk.
Fortunately, I have a lot of practice falling on my face, and have learned not to throw my hands out but instead cover my face, so my unexpected self-inflicted attempted curb-stomping lightly scrapes my hairline and nothing else -my sunglasses even stay in place- and I get up and resume my quest for a slurpee.
It's well known that the airport is a lawless place, and the 7-11 across from the discounted airport parking at the stroke of midnight is no exception.
I know it's the stroke of Midnight because there's one of those Audubon society bird-call clocks that makes bird noises, and my arrival is heralded by the twittering call of a Summer Tanager. I am almost charmed enough by the unusual choice of chronological device to excuse the exorbitant Airport-adjacent mark-up of Slurpee prices. I stand at the machine for some time, trying to decide on a size for the price and guess what the fuck "Blue Lighting Blast" is supposed to taste like.
The Creature is being Very Polite but is somewhat agitated, I assume because she *just* saw her mother for the first time in three days and then she LEFT with no explanation, so The Creature is on her hind legs, staring woefully into my eyes, asking to be escorted around the 7-11. Even though that's not what she's not supposed to be doing, there's nobody else in here, so I let her hang off my arm and discuss various Slurpee Flavor options with her.
We eventually decide on an experiment in which I try a Small Blue Lightning Blast, and discover it tastes a bit like licking a nintendo cartridge but in a pleasantly satisfying way.
I go up to pay and realize something is amiss.
The Cashier is a young man staring at me with wide eyes, one had over the register and the other wrapped up in his rosary.
I look down at myself.
In my haste to reunite my friend with her spare keys and service animal, I had left the house in the following accoutrements:
Flip Flops. Not matching. It's below freezing outside. That last part is not particularly odd footwear for the weather in for Colorado, but it's an important detail for the rest of the ensemble.
Assorted scrapes, bruises, cuts and welts on my arms and legs that come with doing outdoor work and living in a house with three dogs and a fully-clawed cat that all want to be in my lap all the time. It's cold out, so vasoconstriction has pulled the blood away from my skin, a trait that served my ancestors well during the last Ice Age, but leaves me with pale skin to contrast the various wounds and I look like a corpse that fell out of the back of a pickup truck.
The black Bootyshorts with "CRYPTID" painted in bright red gothic font across my ass, that @theshitpostcalligrapher gave me for my wedding present.
A peculiar but extremely comfortable garment that straddles the line between "Lacy Camisole" and "Industrial-Strength Sports Bra" like the Ever Given straddling the Suez Canal. It is also Bright Red. with black accents.
The Jacket I had grabbed out of the closet, which is in fact, a black Velour Dinner Jacket.
The Tokyo-Ghoul inspired reusable anti-covid mask a friend made me with the set of Coyote Teeth.
My sunglasses, which are shaped like a Halloween Bat. The lenses are the wings and the body is the nose bridge. It is ALSO bright red.
A Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle that I have been audibly affectionately calling "Dear Creature" who is hanging off my arm like she's my Prom Date.
The Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle is ALSO dressed up in a black Dog Sweater that has white bones printed on it to look like its an X-ray jacket showing off her skeleton.
I look like I am taking my Very Fancy Werewolf Girlfriend to a particularly casual Dinner Party for Vampires, but the thing that's really selling it and probably alarming the kid the most is the fun accessory I acquired in the parking lot not five minutes earlier:
The "Small Scrape At my Hairline" is actually a painless but PROFUSELY bleeding head wound that I had somehow entirely failed to notice covering my face, neck, decolletage and magnificent cleavage with blood like a Tarantino Film Extra.
This does explain why The Creature has been delicately trying to use her bodyweight to push me down onto the floor for the last ten minutes. So I don't injure myself while we wait for the paramedics she hoped this kid called to arrive, you see.
The Creature has such a High and Naive Opinion of humanity.
I decide this social situation is already fucked, and the only way out is through, and with haste, before I start dripping on the floor.
"Hi there!" I say cheerfully, to indicate this is a visually alarming but not terribly serious situation. "Just a Small Slurpee!"
The Cashier has entered the relevant code into the register before I finish the sentence. His gaze flicks off me just long enough to look at the total, and he grips his Rosary harder.
$6.66
"Oh cool! I have exact change!" I say, taking the money out of my as-yet-unsanguined pocket without looking and slap it down on the counter. "You have a good night and be safe out there!" I wave, leaving.
I get in The Van, mortified, buckle The Creature up, and as I make to leave, I have to put it in reverse, which automatically turns on the backup Camera.
It also turns on the music player.
I make eye contact with the cashier as the dulcet tones of John Phillip Sousa boom from the van hard enough to make the windshield and the windows of the 7-11 rattle for the nine-and-a-half seconds I have to wait to be able to turn the volume back down. Not knowing what else to to, I give him a thumbs up, and leave.
Anyway, now I know what my Future Van Wizard has got to be dressed like, and what their familiar is.
---
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#Family Lore#Dogs#It's Halloween babey#friday the 13th#blood mention#I hope that kid had a good night and at least one of his friends believed him#Long post#Video
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In the Middle of the Night (Rafe Cameron x fem!reader)
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings:Â smut, little bit of cum play, unprotected sex
Summary:Â Rafe can't sleep. Luckily, the antidote to his ailment is laying in bed right next to him.
Author's Note: I can't stop thinking about Rafe waking Y/N up in the middle of the night for sex. I am addicted to the trope of Rafe being an asshole to everyone except his girl, but this is more of a soft!Rafe moment than anything. If you enjoy, please give a like or reblog. And any requests for blurbs/one shots/etc. are always welcome in my inbox!
Before Y/N came along, there were many ways in which Rafe would conquer the restlessness that crept up on him in the middle of the night. He would go for a run on the beach with nothing but the moonlight to guide him, hunker down in his home office and crunch numbers, read a few chapters in his current favorite non-fiction. There were dozens of outlets Rafe had conditioned himself to do when he just couldnât fall asleep despite knowing that he should. He was older now and staying up all night like he would as a teenager just wasnât good for him in any capacity anymore.
All of these outlets, but they suddenly went out of the window when he met Y/N. She was unlike any other woman he had ever been with or even met before, but he supposed thatâs how it always was when you were in love with someone. He swore he could stare at her features for forever, that she was more intoxicating than any substance or drink. But looking at her in the glimmering moonlight that shone through the cracked shades was not what put him to bed whenever that frustrating feeling of not being able to close his eyes came insidiously creeping into his head.
There was something about the way her hair was mussed about her head like a halo around her pillow, or maybe it was the way that she was sleeping on her stomach so that the swell of her breast peaked through the comforter. Either way, Rafe couldnât help but feel his boxers growing tighter the longer he traced his eyes over the shape of her sleeping body next to his.
He slid his body over towards her, turning her and wrapping his arms around her body so that his front was flush with her backside. Warmth radiated from her sleeping form and his hands found their way to her breasts. Rafe began gently kneading them in aim to draw her from her slumber, but the most he got out of her was a shift in her bum on the mattress. A low rumble escaped from his chest at the way she unknowingly ground herself against his cock.
His next attempt was to go for her neck. Rafe always teased her for being so sensitive there but at the same time, there was nothing more that he loved than feeling her turn to putty in his hands when his lips roamed about the column of her throat. He started nipping at her skin with his plush, pink lips, just barely meeting his skin with hers. Goosebumps raised in response to his touch as his kisses grew sloppier. It was when heâd hit her sweet spot with his tongue that he heard the sound heâd been searching for. Rafe swears heâs never heard anything more heavenly in his entire life, that soft, half-moan half-groan that fell from her parted lips. It brought his neediness to the forefront.
âBaby,â Rafe grumbled against the crook of her neck, tickling her with his outgrown stubble.
Amidst her hazy state she was able to hum back at him, though it sounded once more like a broken moan.
âNeed you to wake up,â he hoarsely whispered as he began working himself against her backside, slowly but surely rutting his hips into the skin of her bum to ease some of the tension that had built up in his cock.
He couldnât see the way the corners of her lips turned up knowingly. She was no stranger to this Rafe, the Rafe that woke her in the middle of the night with an itch that he just couldnât seem to scratch. It was almost comical to her, the way that heâd do just about everything in the book besides coming right out and telling her that he was in the mood. Sometimes, sheâd tease him and pretend to be asleep longer than she actually was before turning over and giving him what he wanted, but not tonight. Unbeknownst to Rafe, he had stirred her from quite the dream, so there was no need to dance around the ledge this time.
With a sigh, she resituated herself in the bed, turning in Rafe's arms so that their faces sat mere inches from each other.
âHi,â she sang through her sleep-ridden voice.
âHi,â Rafe repeated back to her in the same groggy tone. "Can't sleep?" she asked, a tinge of playfulness in her voice.
He gave no response - just a lazy smirk in return. Even in the darkness, Y/N noticed a flush rising up his neck and cheeks. He'd been caught.
âNeed some help?â she quirked her brow and gestured downwards to the tent in his boxers.
âMaybe,â he answered with a sleepy chuckle.
She knocked him on his back so that she was straddling his waist and sitting on his now painfully hard cock; the feathered duvet now pooled at their knees. Rafe hissed at the commotion, but the feeling soon turned to bliss when her hands snuck into the waistband of his boxers and she took his length in her fingers. It felt heavy in her grip as she smeared the silky beads of precum along his tip, coating him in preparation to make home within her tight, warm walls.
âI was dreaminâ about you,â she spoke lowly as she gently twisted her wrist around his cock, reveling in the way Rafe's brows were furrowing together in response to her touch.
âYeah?â he jested.
âMhmm,â she hummed, âWe were kinda like how we are now. But this is much better,â she finished with a tantilizing pump of her hand.
Rafe's hips jutted into her fist, wanting more than just her teasing touches. It almost made her laugh aloud, how needy he could be in the middle of the night like this. She wanted him just as much, only due to her still-drowsy state, she was able to control it.
She leaned down and laid her body flush with Rafe's as she kissed him for the first time since heâd woke her. They tasted of the remnants of their minty toothpaste and mostly of morning breath, but that was the furthest thing from their minds. Rafe held her close to him as his tongue slipped between her lips, aching to get her going as quickly as he could. His arms slid under the ratty Kildare High School t-shirt of his that she slept in so he could lift it off of her frame, breaking the kiss for only a fraction of a second before they were intertwined again.
Once her chest was free of clothing, Rafe ran his hands along the sides of her breasts and spine, chilling her skin with his cold hands. He ducked his head down to kiss the center of her chest and then outwards to her wrap his plump lips around her erect nipples. Those velvety, smooth sighs of hers turned into the moans that Rafe adored oh-so dearly. Y/N began to feel the wetness from her core pool at the front of her panties. One of her hands cradled his neck, snugly but not tightly as she kissed him, but she was able to move the other down to grip his cock in her digits once more.
âY/N," Rafe pleaded, his hazy, hungry eyes peering up at her. He needed her to do something, anything before he lost his whits.
She locked eyes with Rafe as she sank down slowly, splitting herself on top of him. Rafe always swore that the way the wrinkle between her brows reared itself and her lips parted just slightly when she first felt his cock first enter her was by far his favorite face of hers. Well, his second favorite, apart from the face she made when she came, he supposed. He gripped onto her hips tightly as she lowered herself fully onto him, exhaling a sigh of relief when she made it all of the way down to the base of his cock.
They soon found their rhythm, Y/n bouncing and rolling her hips against his while they chased their highs. Her early morning sensitivity caused her to melt in Rafe's arms with the way his tip was able to brush against all of the sweetest spots that made her eyes roll back into her head and a shiver run down her spine.
All that was heard in the otherwise silent room were sounds of wet skin meeting harshly each time she pushed herself back onto Rafe. Their lips chased each other in between thrusts, eager to be as close to each other as they possibly could. Sweat pooled in the dip of her back and in the grooves of Rafe's toned stomach, the two of them yearning to reach their ends.
Y/n's bouncing soon turned to lazy, barely motivated rocking as she found herself almost physically unable to continue. The tendons in her thighs were screaming for relief and the heat that surrounded her made her feel like she was trapped in a sauna. She could feel herself right there, right on the brink of getting to where she needed to be, but she was growing frustrated that she wouldn't be able to get them both there on her own.
âRafe,â Y/N whined as she gripped both of Rafe's shoulders tightly, knuckles growing white from the hold she had on them.
He sensed her weariness, but he was waiting to see how long it would take her to beg for him to take control of the two of them.
She raised her eyes from being buried in Rafe's neck to look at him.
âPlease,â she moaned.
âI've got you, baby,â he huffed, barely able to spit the words out between each manual breath.
With one fluid motion, he had her flipped over onto her back and plunged back into her soaking cunt once more. Y/N cried out at the new angle of Rafe on top of her, watching his dainty, silver chain dangle inches away from her face.
âGonna make me cum if you keep looking at me like that," Rafe muttered into her ear as he mouthed against her neck, âYou gonna cum for me first though. Right angel?â
He continued to drill his cock into her heat, each time brushing against the spongey part of her walls that made her thighs shake and reflexively want to close. Rafe caught wind of her trembling and forced her legs open with one of his strong, veiny hands, pressing it even deeper into her chest with his other arm pressed deep into the mattress to balance his body on top of hers. Their stomachs brushed against each other with every thrust, only adding to the overwhelming sensations that they were both feeling.
âYour pussy's so perfect. Like it was made for me," Rafe moaned. "Gonna fuck you like this every night for the rest of my life."
His words of encouragement took her right back to where she was before, right at the brink of breaking. Her moans went up an octave and Rafe could tell by the way she had started to clench around him that she wasnât going to last much longer. He knew for certain that with the way that her cunt was so expertly gripping his cock that he wasnât that far behind her.
"Need you to cum, baby. Need to feel it," Rafe was nearing his breaking point, but knew he couldn't be satisfied without feeling her clench around him first.
Unable to speak due to the way he was pounding into her, Y/N gripped Rafe's shoulders even harder than he was fucking her in response. This made Rafe cockily smile and only pushed him to fuck her more fervently and deeper. His hips would certainly leave light purple bruises on hers come morning.
Her release sprung on her quickly, her walls spasming around Rafe's thick, pulsing cock. Y/N let out a sound akin to a high-pitched whine blended perfectly with a scream - it was so beautiful to him. Her orgasm came so suddenly that it caught Rafe off guard as well; he had but mere moments before he found himself filling her up with his warm, milky seed. It was so sudden and intense that it seeped out from around his cock and onto the plush, silky sheets.
They rode it out together, Rafe pumping into her slower and sloppier than just minutes before. Y/N was becoming overwhelmed with the sensation and he was quick to pick up on it. Rafe pulled out slowly, watching Y/N wince as her now-swollen heat contracted around nothing but emptiness. He ran his fingers along her pussy, collecting her wetness and his cum on his digits before gently pressing the mixture back into her core. She hissed at the feeling of him inside of her again and it made Rafe's dick twitch. He could easily go again, but he knew that she couldn't. It was intoxicating to watch her squirm. Next time he thought to himself. He loved to drive her crazy.
They both laid there, Rafe resting his full weight on top of her while they listened to the sound of each otherâs heartbeats return back to their resting rate. She twiddled with the clasp of Rafe's chain while he pecked soft kisses on her sweat-slick breast with his lips.
"I love you," Y/N sighed, her eyes beginning to close as she teetered the line of consciousness.
"I love you, too," Rafe was just as exhausted as she was. Finally.
When they regained their bearings, Rafe reached across the bed for the shirt heâd pulled off of her body. With caring hands, he cleaned the two of them, tossing the soiled garment somewhere off into the floor to be dealt with in the morning.
âThank you,â Rafe mumbled into her skin as he crawled back into the covers with her and pulled her into his arms once more.
âAnytime,â she laughed, still somewhat out of breath.
âBut will you please go to sleep now? You have a presentation in the morning and you only wake me up to fuck when you canât sleep so Iâm assuming youâve been awake this whole time,â she sounded like a parent talking to Rafe, which while he would never admit, he adored.
She felt Rafe's laugh reverberate off her chest and shake her body, to which he then promised her heâd be good and go to bed.
Rafe could go on midnight runs and read as much as he could, but nothing could put him to sleep as easily as this.
#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#fafe smut#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#rafe x reafer#rafe cameron x fem!reader#drew starkey smut#mine
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u up? | s.reid
summary: early season!spencer is reluctant to request nudes from gn!reader while hes gone on a case. warnings & key info: nudes (what an ugly word), sexual themes implied, nothing rlly explicitly stated. a very reluctant and maybe insecure spencer, a hint of teasing a/n: this is rlly just a drabble but i love the idea of early season!spencer who is kind of nervous to ask for things but also rlly down bad for reader! maybe iâll make more with this pairing bc its so fun. word count: 1.5k my masterlist!
Spencer flopped back into the queen-sized bed with a sigh. The hotel room was small, the generic beige walls blending into the generic beige room. The only light source he had at present from was the warm, yellow light of the bedside lamp and the screen of his phone.
The team had successfully closed another case. The unsub was apprehended after a week-and-a-half long chase, but he didnât feel any better.
The relief that followed long cases like this one was different. Of course the week had been long and tiring. He hadnât exactly slept well between the late nights at the local precinct and the looming anxiety about finally catching the guy. When Hotch made the decision to fly out the following morning to allow the team to get some sleep, he wasnât so thrilled.Â
He had returned to his hotel room, showered off the day (and itâs germs) before attempting to get into bed, but something was amiss.Â
Catching the unsub didnât mean just another solved case, but it also meant coming home to you. Maybe it was selfish, sure. Still, he had looked forward to it all day, and the sudden change in plans threw him off. Here he was, on top of the scratchy maroon bedspread of the hotel, very awake and very much frustrated by the prospect of spending another night apart from you.Â
Sexual frustration and Spencer were two things you never would have put together. He was the most patient man in the world to you. Sometimes you still consider it his biggest flaw. When you first began dating him, it took weeks for him to work up the nerve to kiss you first. Sex was another beast. Somehow he wasnât comfortable initiating anything for fear that he was pressuring you, and it seemed that no amount of reassurance would encourage him to make the first move.Â
You were half asleep in bed when you heard the buzz of a new notification. You lifted your head from its spot in the pillow, and patted your hand around to find your phone somewhere in the mess of sheets in your bed. When you found it, you squinted as your eyes adjusted to the bright screen in the darkness of your room. He never liked to interrupt you when you were sleeping. It was another one of his obscure demonstrations of love. If you ever texted him past 9 PM, he would delve into a rant about how the blue light of your screen would keep you up all night, or how sleep deprivation could cause a multitude of issues, and âI just donât want to be the reason you didnât get a good nightâs sleep.â
Patient, kind, respectful, and painfully so.Â
Which was why you were thoroughly confused when you received what could only be interpreted as a very Spencer Reid version of a âu up?â text at 12:51 AM.
Spencer: Hi. I miss you. Are you awake?Â
You: i am now :)Â i miss you more.Â
Spencer struggled to find the right words to type. He always relied on you dragging it out of him. He drafted a few responses, deleting them immediately. His fingers hovered the keyboard for a moment, contemplating if he should just let it go.
You watched the ellipses come and go as he typed. It disappeared for a few seconds, and then reappeared. Eventually, you decided to call him.Â
He picked up on the first ring.Â
âHey,â he said. His voice was soft, maybe more so than usual. âIâm sorry for waking you.â
âYou donât need to apologize. I was hoping to hear your voice,â you replied.
âBut itâs so late. You should be sleeping, and now-â
âSpencer,â you replied, cutting him off. âI donât care about that. Youâve never been one to message so late, so I know something must be bothering you. Talk to me.â
You heard the soft rustle of fabric against the microphone.Â
âI was just really looking forward to coming home tonight.â
You sighed. âI know. I was looking forward to it, too.â
âI justâŠâ he trailed off. âI was thinking about you all day. Thinking about seeing you, thinking about⊠just thinking about you.â
âHm.â You sandwiched the phone between your ear and shoulder before sitting up. The jersey sheets pooled around your waist as you leaned across your nightstand, flicking on the bedside lamp. Your room filled with the soft glow. âThinking about me?â
âYeah.â His voice was almost a whisper. âThatâs all.â
âI donât think thatâs all, honey.âÂ
You could visualize his reaction through the phone, the same reaction he always had when you pinned down his real intentions. He probably made an attempt to roll his eyes and brush off your comments, but heâd blush seconds later and avoid eye contact, knowing you were right.Â
âWhy do you⊠say that?â Somehow his voice was even softer.
âItâs one in the morning, Spence. You never call this late,â you explain. âAnd youâve been away for a whole 10 days.â
âYeah.â He swallowed audibly.Â
âYeah,â you repeat. âSo you clearly want something from me.â
Silence.
âDo I need to drag it out of you?â
He huffed. âIt feels really juvenile. And I just respect you so much, and I donât want you to ever think that Iâm using you for anything, or that I donât value you-â
âSpencer. We talked about this.âÂ
âRight.â He sighed. He held the phone to his ear with one hand, the other pressing into his eyelids as he formulated a response.Â
âSo,â you clear your throat, and sit back into your pillows, your phone lying across your chest. âAsk me.â
âI donâtâŠâ he exhales. Heâs struggling to come to terms with the fact that you have him figured out so well. Heâs quiet for a few seconds before he gives in reluctantly. âI was looking forward to seeing you tonight. Not just talking.â
âSpencer Reid,â you reply, amused. Teasing him was just too easy sometimes, especially when he was so easy to rile up, even if he knew you were just joking with him. âAre you asking me for nudes?â
âI⊠It just sounds so wrong. Nevermind. Forget I said anything.â
âOh, come on. Just ask me.â
He groaned. âI don't want you to think that my love for you has anything to do with your body. You know that, right? Because it doesn't. Although I do love⊠looking at you. That sounded weird. I just mean that I don't want to put you in a position where you feel commodified based on something like your physical appearance when you have so much more to give, and it's not respectful of you. You're brilliant and kind and so, so good to me, and itâs just so vulgar, I think-â
He fell quiet as his phone buzzed in his hands. He could just see the preview of the text you had sent him. After changing the call to speakerphone, he opened it, scrolling through the carousel of photos, taking in the images.
âYou think..?â
âJesus ChristâŠâ he breathed, opening a slideshow of photos you had taken just for him. Sent to him, for his personal use. He would have felt bad about it if he wasnât so horribly entranced by the sight of them. Whatever was left of his rambling fizzled out.
âYou're not gonna finish your sentence?â You asked.
âIâŠâ swipe. âGod, I don't remember what I was saying.â
You chuckled. âDoes that fix your problem?â
He was clearly short circuiting. âMhm. It does.â
âSee what happens when you ask, Spencer?â
âI feel guilty,â he replied, his voice breathy and quiet. He was clearly having some kind of internal struggle about the ethicality of the situation. It didnât bother him enough to look away, though.
âWhy?â You ask.Â
âBecause⊠these are reallyâŠâ He stopped. Although you couldnât see it, his cheeks were burning red. âAre you sure youâre okay with me having these?â
âSpencer,â you say. âYouâre being ridiculous. Youâve seen me naked plenty of times. I watched you fold and organize my sock drawer without my asking last week. You preheat my coffee mug for me every morning. Iâm not just okay with you having these. I want you to have them.â
Oh. He swallows thickly, forcing himself to close the app and come back to his senses.
âButâŠâ He trails off. He still sounds a little distant, pausing a bit too long between words, clearly still looking the photos over. âHow did you⊠did you have these ready to send?â
âI did. I took them the other night. I was just waiting for you to ask.â
You wait a few seconds to see if he says something else. He doesn't. The line falls silent.
âAre you okay over there?â You ask.
âYeah,â he clears his throat, exiting the app and putting his phone down on the pillow next to him. âYeah. Sorry. I just⊠wow.â
You were used to his continual praise, but somehow his lack of words was the best compliment he could have offered you.
âNext time just ask, okay?â
He swallows. âMhm. I will.â
âYou should go have fun. I'm gonna go back to sleep. I'll see you soon, pretty boy.â
âYeah⊠you should get some sleep. Iâll⊠see you tomorrow. Thank you.â
You smile to yourself. âGoodnight, Spencer.â
#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#gn!reader#early season!spencer#my things!#criminalminds#spencerreid
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