#so now i domt know whether i want to or not
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uh oh! worlds stupidest little guy used the wrong lotion and now everything smells like my childhood bathroom and the year is 2016 and its february which means its almost valentines day which is perhaps the most accursed date on the calendar and the year is 2016 and your least favorite little guy is in full blown survival panic mode!
#fuuuuuuuuck#head in hands#i fucking . have had perhaps the worst week ive had in years . including all my time in indy last year#i have not had a single win since . idk. last saturday maybe ?#uhhhhh i dont like springtime its the most painfully nostalgic time of year#and idk why i even have this lotion but everything is dry and itchy so i was like hey im gonna treat myself to some basic self care#and now my apartment smells like my second suicide attempt and everything is horrible actually . into the garbage with you.#im going to stick my legs into the fireplace and hopefully the smell of burning flesh will drown it out!!!!!#that is. not serious. im just like. fuck#i was supposed to go home tommorrow but yet another tragedy has struck because the universe fucking hates me#so now i domt know whether i want to or not#like. is it better to grieve alone in my apartment where i (usually) feel safe#or should i go home and be surrounded by grieving family which is. a whole other process i dont know if i want to deal with#pros. i get to see loki and i am extremely pet deprived . cons. my parents are going to ask me questions about my life#and also i have to sleep in my childhood bedroom a week away from my most mentally ill day of the damn year#ugm. um. yeah#i need to cry but i havent been able to cry in a really long time and i know it would be cathartic#but also its already 1030 pm and i cant spend two more hours having a sobbing fest because i have work in the morning#and i dont know how to make myself cry without doing things that would be even more damaging to my mental state#so instead i will stare at a wall and hope the smell goes away and try to fall asleep. i fucking guess#uhhhhhhhhhhhhhg#im holding it together by a fucking thread and boy is it fraying
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i have a confession
recently i had some trouble and had to delete an email
problem is, i used the google docs there to write my fics. and i thought i downloaded them all, but only one of my major ones did, and i lost everything else
literally all of it
i am anonymous because i lost my tumblr acc but on ao3 i am veetheree, and i had this longer dilemma regarding my potterlock fic (pretty disillusioned with rowling and all.that, unsure whether to continue) but even so i saw that a lot of people subscribed to it and i wanted to at least see where the story leads, i had over 300k words apart from the 40k i published
and i domt hve it anymore :') i didnt check the process because it seemed okay and i had other uni and work stuff to take care of, and now i check it and :') it's gone :')) im not doing well, and i am going to delete the fic i think
i dont have the energy to maintain it and i dont want it to be left in the dust either - i have lost all hope for it, and this is just a punch in the gut. and i was proud of the plot and how i intertwined the 2 worlds too
this is mostly just a rant because i dont really have anybody else who can relate to the pain of fic writing and the challenges that come with it
also, as to why i had to delete the email - it's complicated, hacking situation and such, but it happened over 2 months ago so im not able to retrieve it and neither do i really feel like looking into it, im done with that fic for good 😭
that's all, thank you for being a safe space for me to go to, and i apologise to anyone who was waiting for that fic to be updated :(
Hey Lovely *HUGS*
OH GOODNESS, I'm SO sorry you had a garbage time with your email, and even more so, accidentally deleted fics from your Google Drive without saving all of them. I'm TERRIFIED of losing my own fics from my G-Drive all the time (I do actually write and have about 15 "snippets" of fics on there) and back them up religiously.
That said, I can understand how life can overtake literally everything and just make being online Too Much™ – happens to me all the time 💜🖤. And I know how disheartening it can be to just... not have the motivation anymore to continue on with something, heaven knows I've done that plenty in my 40 years, LOL. And Lovely, we have to remember to do what's best for us in the long run.
When I was a teen, I wrote a fairly popular Sonic fanfic series that I never completed, literally left it on a cliffhanger. This was back before even FFNet, and fics were distributed in the Sonic fandom on our Geocities pages via Webring, LOL. After life took over, it still remains unfinished over 20 years later. I recently found the original word docs of all 9 of the stories (with the 10th one half-finished) and while I cringe at my bad writing from back then, I still love immersing myself in that world. One of these days, maybe I'll finish it, because I do think it was a great concept and intriguing storyline that dealt a lot with humanity and sentience, just obviously written by a teenager, hahaha.
The point of that anecdote? We can still love the things we wrote, and still want to engulf ourselves in that world from time to time and not feel bad about it. And if you decide to come back to it a decade from now, that's okay too. You're only human.
And never EVER hesitate to come here for a friendly eyeball to vent to. I try my best to make y'all feel not so alone. Glad to see you are okay, Vee, truly. That's what's most important.
*SNUGGLE BUGGLE HUGGLE* I hope you have a beautiful, prosperous day. And I'm sure your fic-fans understand <3
#steph replies#steph's sofa#new tag i think... i answer enough asks like this :)#chatting with lovelies#fandom life#author problems#writer problems#my advice#i am not a professional
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There's no time for PJM2 tf anons saying ? Do you want to go through same hell again?
1. Tae probably will drop album by September if #kmedia is something to go by
2. JK confirmed to drop album in November
3. JK will release one more single, anytime in Aug - Nov
4. Joon is preparing something, it can even be an album as he said next work will be opposite of INDIGO. He'll prolly drop it by Aug or early sep because enlistment is coming soon.
5. If Yoongi is planning to enlist after his concert (domt know whether it will happen as he's adding dates again and again), he'll prolly go in September after his concerts. There's a chance for a good bye song.
So where anons are seeing a peaceful gap in next 4 months? There's definitely no PJM2. But I think he'll release a single by Aug/Sep lol. He's working continuously and there's a pattern -
Jan - y
Feb - N
March - Y
April - N
May - Y
June - N
July - N
So August - there's a chance 🌚 and better get ready with all premium accounts by then if you all don't want me to whoop your asses. We are giving it an entry bigger than LC ? Got it ?
Oooooh anon,
I LOVE THIS!
You have saved the day today. I'm in such a mood but this makes me happy.
Everyone, we are going to stop talking about pjm2!!!!!
I'm going to focus on Indigo's evil twin for now. Nam better not dissapoint me...
Unless Jimin drops something, then I'm dropping Nam.
AND YES, anon! Bigger entry than Like Crazy lolol
You get this Jimin today for spreading joy:
Thanks for stopping by.
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Was originally just reply in tags but I wanna actually type out a few characters that fit this because it's sooooo good..... crazy good
I was trying so hard not to make this ggg related but I do gotta mention pattypoke... ough. Also could be lovestory but PATTYPOKE FIRST!!!!!!
Now I'm going back to Welcome Home which i haven't done since November. I miss those guys. Anyway Wally could be either of these depending on the dynamic we're putting him in.... I'll expand below (and include non-wally pairs as well)
Wally and Home first i have to make EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM: I feel that honestly the titles here are interchangeable, but I am more inclined to label Home as the doll here. Because she's a little freak and very much being presented as unsettling, whether he's actually "evil" or not...... Wally could be the doll here as well, for reasons I'll say more in the other pairs, so I'll explain Home teddybear as 1) i think they're cutes and 2) i think it always has kindness in its heart for Wally, no matter how it actually feels about the others (who knows!!!!!)
Wally and Barnaby... oifuuhh. Oifuhshgggghshhduuuf. Ouushg. Wally just has to be the doll here, Barnaby the teddybear, for visual and other clear reasons. Wally is the smiling smiler and very much tries to appeal to everyone I think, whether he wants to or not its a role he's taken to heart, "host with the most", our television darling. Does he mean to come off as offputting in some moments? Likely not in my opinion. Also something about autism n coming off the wrong way because you don't know what's the "correct" approach. BACK ON TRACK THAT WAS JUST A RANT!!! Barnaby being the teddy is pretty obvious, he's a real gentle guy when it comes to Wally, but not to a belittling degree. Always has an air of levity, if that's the right word, an anchor attached to comfort, joy. I think im making stuff up now I just like these characters ok. Anyway I also think Barnaby definitely has something wrong with him and I wanna unravel him to find whatever it is. Does he know? Idk!!!!
Im gonna group Poppy/Sally and Frank/Eddie together here because I don't have as much to say because I mostly think it fits aesthetically. Poppy and Eddie are the teddys and Sally and Frank are the dolls... smiles. I domt knoe. Julie and Frank could also be this WAITTTT IM REALIZING THIS LIVE RIGHT NOW. ITS VERY GOOD. OUFUHGM. Maybe not i domt know.
Anyway one more honorable mention because they're stupid: Home and Barnaby. Home is the doll once more and Barnaby remains the teddy..... id ramble more but I said most of their individual stuff in their sections. So I'll just say their dynamic is really funny and strange and I really hope it gets explored more because their shared bond with Wally is awesome and I'm crazy.
Sorry samsa for the reblog rant about the puppets and stupid gay house I haven't really pondered since november... ummm this is awesome I like this dynamic idea. Thankses for sharing
EDIT: I forgot king and collector JAIL FOR FIG I LITERALLY THOGUHT OF THEM FIRST!!!
a pairing thats a doll and a teddybear, either literally or metaphorically, walk with me in this
they can signify many things, dolls are usually perceived as more unsettling and reflections of idealized self, the wear and tear of a doll form usually makes them even more frightening for some, so it can also relate to trauma and how we perceive imperfect victims , meanwhile teddybears are unequivocal comfort symbols to many, even seen as inherently more protective, they are often regarded with simplicity in mind rather than full of thoughts, but thats underestimating that they can also go through a lot of wear and remain soft hearted, the doll provides the vehicle of inner expression and depth to the teddybear, the teddybear will always be unconditionally comforting and kind to the doll´s more unpredictable aspects, this can also be seen as contrast between gender/class roles, thanks for hearing my essay
#do i fandom tag. what the hell sure#welcome home#home#barnaby b beagle#wally darling#wont tag the others since theyre mentioned so briefly except for maybe#poppstar#franklydear#wallaby#paintedheart#<- wally and home dynamic because theyre crazy#great god grove#pattypoke#EMBARASSED!!! BUT ALSO I LIKE RAMBLINF!!! AGH#figposting
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I Am Countering: Logince fluff? There Has Been Too Much Angst
All men, regardless of whether or not they admitted it, had talents. Whether those were talents deemed worthy of humanity, depended entirely on something else.
But for Roman, gods did he want talents, he wanted to feel needed, wanted, coveted, by the people.
He was a good singer, but not a good writer, so he couldnt make songs.
He was an artist, but he could only really draw backgrounds well, so he couldnt do much for commissions.
He was an amazing actor, but he didnt like directions.
So Roman Prince-Duke sat in his room all day, bored, talking to strangers on the internet about topics that would have much better suited his brother.
But all that would change fairly soon, with a simple flyer for young and pretty men. Now at first Roman had assumed it was for a strip show and ignored the paper, talking was one thing, but he certainly wasnt about to expose himself to that degree.
And then someone stopped him, just as he turned a corner at a street he was very familiar with.
"Excuse me sir, but I was wondering if I might have a word?" This was a voice Roman was not familiar with.
And when he turned around, he was met with the most handsome man he'd ever seen in his life. Tall, chubby, with messy brown hair and eyes so blue they might have stolen the night sky right out from under the earth's metaphorical nose.
"Is something wrong?" Roman asked, now sweating rather profusely at the sight of the man.
"I was wondering if I might- invite you to join a show I'm working on, face like yours, wouldnt want to pass up that opportunity," the man held up the flier from before.
"You want me, to work in a strip show?." Roman said, all admiration for the man forgotten.
The man's face went scarlet "oh heavens no I'd never put on one of those- Its a fashion show of sorts," he continued.
"Of sorts?" Roman replied, resting his head on his shoulder slightly.
"You wouldnt be walking out, we're trying to figure out holographic projections, less risk of injured models and uncomfortable comments," said the man.
"Well- I suppose it could be nice," Roman replied.
"Perfect! You can just call me Logan by the way- and uh-" Logan looked at him expectantly.
"Roman, Prince-Duke," Roman replied.
"Right this way Roman," Logan said, Roman followed him through the streets and into a black building, galaxies and stars painted the walls of the outside, and the inside was full of orange and yellow and red hues, almost as if youd stepped into the sun. The lights illuminating the inside were pink, and when Roman looked at himself in the mirror, his face was almost so clear he looked as though he didnt have lips, or a nose, or anything really.
"Domt focus to hard on those, the mirrors are for quick fixes, look for to long and people get self-conscious, doesnt exactly make anyone very happy," Logan said.
"Oh I'm sure they have nothing to worry about," Roman said, ignoring the advice and continuing to mess with his hair in the mirror. He was only stopped when Logan pulled him away, wrapping an arm around his waist as though he meant to bring him into a waltz. Roman thought he might let go, but they stayed like that for quite some time.
Then, with a clearing of his throat, Logan continued on, Roman following close behind.
He wasnt sure how many shots they'd taken that week, it seemed as though Roman was there every day, but, this was on him, he'd signed up for those hours.
It was as if some odd force was pushing him towards Logan, and he wasnt sure why. After all, this wasnt some multi-chapter fanfiction where his boss might one day walk in and decide to make out with him in the middle of a set.
Except, it seemed Logan wanted to do exactly that. He didnt, of course, but Roman could tell. The way his gays lingered on Roman's lips as they spoke, the gentle whispers and reassurance that things would be alright when Roman began to panic in a shot.
And then, not two weeks after Roman's mind had started its wondering, it happened. He'd teased a little bit of course, egged it on, after all, when one is talking with ones crush at a party with desserts, one can find several ways to appeal to his senses.
He just hadnt expected it to work so well that they ended up in a full-blown make-out session in front of a crowd of cheering employees.
But, when one was talented with knowing what people wanted, it was easy to get more than given.
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Tag list:
@spooky---noodle
@softestpatton
@meowthefluffy
@a-deceit-salad
@nerosdayinhell
@curmisery
@willowaudreykeyes
@frawkeye
@the-sad-strawberry
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Can you do some fluffy Sakaki headcanons with his s/o?
Why you sure can!!!
~Deidoro Sakaki Fluff~
headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
-He's a bit of a mess, but in cliche terms: he's your mess♥️ I wont lie and say that Deidoro would go to the ends of the earth for you, but he certainly is willing to do a LOT out of his character for you. I'm talking about going out shopping instead of watching the game, and planning dates when he'd rather just go to a shitty bar somewhere and get wasted. He's no clean cut man, but he cleans up pretty well for you sometimes (though it's a rare sight). The only times you've seen Deidoro in a suit was:
1) Your wedding (if you guys got married)
2) A family members funeral (if you had one)
3) The night he proposed to you
-Something weirdly fluffy that he does for you is making the bed. To others, that's just a simple daily task to do. To him, that is his testament of love to you. He'd rather leave it a mess or stay in it all day, so making the bed for you so you domt have to is something he considers sweet.
-Another thing he does is try to cook for you. Everything he cooks has been fucked up in one way or the other. He burned steak, oversalted eggs, didn't cook chicken all the way through and served it half-raw...Hell, he even tried to boil water and left it alone too long. When he came back, it had all evaporated!
-He can be pretty selfish sometimes, but other times he's fairly sweet and has you on his mind. He'll make it a thing to bring you home little trinkets from his missions sometimes. Other times he'll bring you a snack back from the gas station when he goes.
-He has this odd attraction toward working little circles into your back. It's like a little massage in a way. He does it so much that it becomes second nature to him and he doesnt even know he's doing it at the moment! It just feels off to him if he doesn't do it! So pay attention to that because you can always tell if something is bothering him by simply seeing that he hasnt done that today. He'll also use it to see if something is bothering you too, by whether or not you want him to do it.
-He invites you to your garage (lets say you have a house together and not an apartment) to sit in a lawn chair with him and get drunk while listening to Charlie Daniels and looking up at the stars. THAT is the type of date he's into. Of course, if you deny then he's okay with doing what you want instead, for now.
»—————————–———————————————————–✄
TIp Jar: https://cash.app/$YuTakeyama
#deidoro sakaki#bnha sakaki#shie hassaikai#yakuza#eight precepts of death#eight bullets#eightfold cleansers#eight expendables#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia headcanons#my hero academia
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you've made me change my opinions on gun control but the parkland students have me question that again. what's your take on their activism?
I mean my views aren’t based on current events, they’re based on what seems to be effective and what doesn’t seem effective to me. “Ban assault weapons” sounds cool to lots of people but 1) we did try banning “assault weapons” (used in the Clinton ban to mean semi auto rifles that looked scary) from 1994 to 2004 when they were actually hard to get- if our goal was to limit availability this was the PERFECT TIME, when they cost a grand and there weren’t many of them in the country- and EVEN though the number of them actually ROSE during the ban as manufacturers designed around the ban 2) there’s no conclusive evidence that it managed to reduce spree shootings, as shooters just switched over to other kinds of semi auto rifles and handguns. So it’s a bandaid solution that doesn’t even seem to work well under the best conditions- when they are already hard to get and there aren’t that many of them in the country. There’s an estimated 3 million AR-15s in the country now ALREADY, I would guess that number is -at least- 5x, and maybe even 10x, lower than the actual number, there are kits being sold to build lower receivers in your garage with a $200 press and some time, and on top of that you can build a decent (not premium, not shit) rifle yourself for $500, you can buy one off the rack for $400. There is no future for this country where, imo, knowing what I know about availability of parts, an AR is all that hard to get. The people I’m personally worried about anyway (violent neonazis) are watching the news and will have 5 or 6 more before midterms elections. Nobody is gonna turn in their rifles when asked or even when compensated- I’d be surprised if you got 1 million back under a buyback. Like if we had seen a massive decrease in spree shooting during the AWB of ‘94, I would support bans. But not only did we not see that, not see any impact on violent crime, but we saw a modest decrease in the use of banned weapons specifically in spree shootings (which, no, does not mean less lethality when the round an AR shoots is also in plenty of other rifles that look less scary and like hunting rifles) and all rifles from hunting rifles to the AR account for less than 5% of all gun homicides in the country. Even when considering that rifle rounds seem generally to kill at a higher rate, .223 in particular is so underpowered a round the military is likely to switch away from it soon and it’s not uncommon for people to survive 3 or 4 shots with it, so this idea that the AR is outrageously lethal doesn’t hold up. Your odds of making it after getting shot with it aren’t great but they’re better than if you’re shot with grandad’s bolt .308 or.303 rifle.
“Ban so-called large capacity magazines” also sounds cool to lots of people but it takes an amateur less than 3 seconds to reload and a well trained shooter hardly over a second, and cops have a habit of showing up to spree shootings and waiting for shooting to stop completely rather than directly getting in there- this fantasy that anybody, let alone cops, will wait for a reload to try to get a shot is a fantasy. Cops are not legally obligated, as of the most recent court cases, to come into a dangerous situation and do shit to “protect” you. They’re gonna wait outside and fret while people die. So those idea that 10 rounds is a magical number where your shooter won’t just switch magazines when cops are not going to intervene anyway is silly. What I WILL say is your odds of surviving a handgun shot in this country are great (if I’m ever shot with a pistol I have 80% odds of making it out alive) and rifle rounds tell to have a higher lethality rate because of what we have good trauma care for. I would be less upset to see them go than ARs because, again, you can just reload quickly. A 10 round magazine doesn’t mean 10 people get shot when you can just buy more magazines.
I don’t ideologically oppose licenses for firearms purchases, and we have them in my state- minor annoyance to get but 10 bucks and not difficult, and even though mine required no test or class (unlike my concealed carry license) I don’t think requiring a sort of written and shooting exam to ensure basic proficiency is that unreasonable. I also think it does nothing to prevent violence. Someome capable of handling a gun well enough to kill people should be able to pass a basic course, and someone who plans their massacre for months is going to laugh at a waiting period. Most of these men have plans and there’s no reason to think they couldn’t just plan to take a course too. So I don’t actively support licensing measures- again because I have no reason to think they’d be effective. When building policy the goal is to do things that work. Not just to do a thing for its own sake.
So the three most common ideas to stop this stuff are both likely to just not be effective and I don’t support them for that reason even BEFORE you consider my ideological oppositions to disarming regular people and leaving cops with tanks. I do think this kind of violence might be better prevented with something like my state has where if you’re under a restraining order (as many men who eventually commit domestic violence are before committing that violence) then a friend or the state is required to hold your guns while you fight it in court. Judicial oversight is critical though- I don’t trust judges but I definitely don’t think anyone should be deprived of a constitutionally guaranteed right with no chance to appeal. It goes a bit further than barring domestic abusers from owning guns- which is ALREADY FEDERAL LAW, the ATF just doesn’t actually enforce that law by searching whether someone just convicted of domestic violence has already bought guns. If you’re just barred from buying more but have 10 in the house, that’s obviously stupid. Oregon has a new law where neighbors and friends can suggest to a judge that you be disarmed, but it doesn’t require the “accused” to even be in court as it’s figured out, which is bullshit. It is a good idea that a judge has to actually look at evidence and make that decision, and that it can be appealed. With any kind of rights revokation I think judicial oversight is a good thing. I also think it's an issue that 12 states don't report well to NICS because the background check system only reads what records it has- and I think we need a law REQUIRING military and law enforcement agencies to report internally investigated affairs that bar someone from owning firearms. The Air Force just quietly slipped 4000 more personnel names to the FBI that it hasn't submitted to it. That has to stop. Cops being domestic abusers (when they abuse at almost 50% higher rates than the general population) should not happen and should not be preventable by internal investigations. Committing a crime that prevents you from owning and using firearms should actually...prevent that. I do not think that law enforcement and military agencies should be able to investigate themselves at all in any capacity anyway in addition to...all the other things I also think about these groups. The Sutherland Springs shooter having been not reported to the FBI, many cops having DV investigations handled internally and still carrying a gun every day, these are ACTUAL loopholes around current law.
I think a lot of people see this stuff and go “Oh my goodness gun violence” and think this is what drives national gun murder numbers. It isn’t. Remember than murders using “assault rifles” account for less than 5% of all gun murders, not even counting other kinds of homicides like stabbing. There is one approach for spree violence- these men all seem to have histories of violence against women as the greatest single common thread between them and I still think addressing that (like with the restraining order law we have here) is the single greatest measure you’ve got, although that requires not just women reporting but women being BELIEVED by judges. If you wanted to actually talk about gun violence in general, you would be talking about handgun murders since they’re the majority of those in the country. But “gun violence” and “spree shootings” are not at all the same phenomenon and don’t really have a single set of solutions between both.
I have no interest in bullshit about mentally ill people being violent- not only are mentally ill people more likely to receive violence than cause it, but someone who plans a massacre and puts peices together, and carries it out, and even escapes after, is not IMPAIRED BEYOND ABILITY TO CARE FOR THEMSELF as is currently the legal threshold for disarmament; somebody who’s depressed (which, it can be depressing world- lots of people are depressed) should also not be stripped of firearms rights without judicial review spurred by someone seeming to be a threat to themself or others; no diagnosis should allow someone to be stripped of a rigjt automatically and anyway I domt want the FBI looking at people’s health records without good cause when there is no diagnosis thst means you’ll murder someone. Plenty of mentally ill people manage not to kill someone every day. Sometimes people are just bad and the goal here is to limit the damage they can do. I don’t have answers but I also don’t pretend to. What I can say is that this kind of behavior displayed by the Parkland shooter (including, my newest CNN alert says, holding people at gunpoint) should be grounds for at least temporary disarmament. I also have no interest in talking about it in terms of “needs,” considering there are all kinds of dangerous things (harder to get than guns but available) that I also don’t need, like an excessively heavy truck or a car that goes over 80 miles an hour or a sword of literallt any kind.
So no, my opinions haven’t changed because I don’t have new information about the efficacy of the measures most people are still calling for. We tried an “assault weapons” ban and it didn’t work when they were 10 times harder to get and twice as expensive and much less commonly owned than they are now. We have no evidence it worked. Whatever we try, it needs to be something other than an ineffective policy that didn’t work under the best conditions for it. Typed this on mobile and may add links later when I can/this probably has some good ole phone typing typos.
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Sober up- stiles stilinski
Tw ⚠️drugs, language You hated this. He was ruining his life. You'd known stiles since 3rd grade when the two of you had the same teacher and became best friends because of the same interests. You loved him more than you had ever loved anyone else even if he was just a friend. He's been hanging around someone that was a complete bad influence. The stiles you knew was sweet and caring. He loved hanging out with you whether it was going on an adventure or just chilling and talking. This was not the stiles you knew. Going to parties and doing drugs was definitely not the stiles you knew. It was all Bradly's fault. He got stiles going on this life. The littlest changes told you when stiles was high. He would misspell and talk a little bit of nonsense. He knew how much you hated that kind of life with the drugs and the partying plus it never seemed like he had fun, considering after knowing how much you hated the life he was living, he would still contact you and tell you how he was sad or angry and anxious. It angered you that he did this to you every time. Every. Single. Time. You just wanted to be done with him but knew you couldn't because you loved him. When he would sober up you had so much fun together. You tried to do this so he could see he was better off without the drugs, but it never seemed to work. And here was the text now "Heyyy Y/N" Yep, he was high. "Hi stiles" "So whatare ya up to" "Not much, just studying" "Itss the weekrnd why are you studuing" Wow he's doing this again "Because stiles I would like to succeed in life" "And I domt wanna?" "I didn't say that but where are you? I could come pick you up" "Nah" "And why not?" "Uhm because haha" "What are you on?" "Nothun" You were at your breaking point. You couldn't do this anymore. He was your best friend. You loved him. Why the hell was he doing this? It broke your heart into a million pieces. "Stiles. I'm not kidding what the hell are you on?" "I'm srry Y/N I know you hate me for doing this but I dpnt know whatim on brady gave me it amd I hope I stober up soon" "I could never hate you. Don't you get that? I still have my extra bed pulled out for you. I have nights upon nights planned of stuff for us to do. I fucking love you stiles. I could never stop loving you. But you keep doing this to yourself and to me. Why do you keep doing it? I fucking love you god dammit" You poured your heart out and didn't get a reply for the next 2 hours or so "Sorry I took so long to reply. I uh want to come down from my high so I could actualky read it. Do you really mean that stuff? Do you love me?" You hadn't gone to bed, knowing at any moment he could text you back to either just reply or to ask for help "Yes of course dummy. If you would stay sober long enough to pay attention you would know by now." "Wow. I uh hold on" Twenty minutes later a car you didn't recognize came by and stiles kinda stumbled out "Y/N! Y/N I love you! I love you so much and can't believe you'd fall for a dumbass like me!" He was yelling so much and screaming it to the sky confessing his love for you so you couldn't help but giggle a bit as tears rolled down your face. You walked down the stair to hug to hug him. He practically fell into your arms hugging you for what felt like and eternity in the moment but a half of a second when you let go. "I'm so sorry Y/N, I'm going to sober up for you. I love you. I'm going to do better. I'm going to drop Bradly. I'm going to... I'm going to ask you, will you be my girlfriend?" You were taken aback by the question but not really sure why considering at this point you both confessed your love. You bite your lip, "um, yeah," and smile spread from ear to ear after saying yes. Stiles Stilinski was now your boyfriend. Your best friend, the lovable goofball, was now your boyfriend. Suddenly, though you were still mad at him, it didn't matter. You love him and he loves and he's going to do better. That's what matters. (Sorry I know my imagines still aren't good but I tried ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
#stiles#stiles x reader#stiles stilinski#stiles stilinksi imagine#stiles imagine#sorry wish I could write better#I'm trying
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I’ve been watching disabled and chronically ill videos on YouTube and it’s really helping me
#for the past eightish months ive just decreased my sctivity level because of my energy#because i held going back to school on a pedestal#it was my only goal and i was just thinking if i can get back to school i can get better after that#but no i cant#i dont want to get better just to go to school and get a job and fufill some stupid capatilistic niche#i want to get better so i can go see Pixie and ride her again#i want to get better so i can take iris on daily walks and enjoy that#i want to get better so i can focus and learn the thingd that really interest me#i want to get better because i want to enjoy my life#footless jo on youtube really helped me#i domt want to look at the same walls all the time and feel like i cant leave#i bet no one wanted to know that#ive been feeling a lot of emotions as i come to terms with the fact that its not going to be easy for me ever#and one quote really sums up my life pretty well#it can never be easy but it can be better#i want that better#whether its better as in a week from now a year from now or ten years from now#i just want it#its going to be fucking hard#but ill do it#this is mostly for me to look back on when im feeling a lot more defeated
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