#i have not had a single win since . idk. last saturday maybe ?

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

uh oh! worlds stupidest little guy used the wrong lotion and now everything smells like my childhood bathroom and the year is 2016 and its february which means its almost valentines day which is perhaps the most accursed date on the calendar and the year is 2016 and your least favorite little guy is in full blown survival panic mode!

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

��Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats?  Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time"  but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited  to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

[lyssismagical]

Maybe 28 and 57 for the prompt writing? That would be really cute 💖

28 - “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

57 - “Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death.” 

Idk how it happened but nearly 4k words of Cheerleading Captain!Peter x Quarterback!Harley for your consideration

 *

Joining a new school in junior year wasn’t easy. Moving from Tennessee to New York was even harder.

But if there was one thing Harley had on his side, he was a fantastic football player. And everyone knew football players were top of the social pyramid.

“Quarterback? Really?” One of the boys say when he says it to the coach. “You think the new kid will get the position?”

Harley shrugs. “I played in Tennessee. I won every game.”

The coach lifts an eyebrow and then nods in approval. “Ever since the schoolboard started talking about implementing athletics at a STEM school, we’ve been pretty emptyhanded. Not enough students willing to drop robotics to join a team, not enough good students. We won one game last year out of a total of nearly fifteen.”

With a smug grin, he rolls his shoulders and slips his helmet over his head.

He gets Quarterback with ease.

As he’s leaving the field after tryouts, he notices a group of girls and a boy congregating by the bleachers, all dressed in blue and gold.

“You’re new here,” a girl says, appearing beside him. He recognizes her, having been sitting in the bleachers alone during tryouts. She’s not wearing a football uniform or the ones the group across from them is wearing.

“Harley Keener,” he replies. “You’re Michelle, right? You’re in my chemistry class.”

She offers half a smile. “MJ. I heard you landed Quarterback.”

“Not that it was particularly hard, there’s not much competition.”

Looping their arms together, she leads him a few more feet away from the group. “They’re the cheerleaders in case you didn’t know. Cindy, the one with the pink water bottle, she’s co-captain. And Peter Parker is captain, he’s been captain since freshman year.”  

“He’s captain?”

MJ’s smile turns knowing. “Yeah, he’s captain. Too bad you missed him in freshman year. The school didn’t have the budget for two sets of cheerleader uniforms, so Peter had to wear the short skirt the whole first year. I had to teach him how to shave his legs. Now he gets to wear pants.”

Harley turns, pretends not to look, but still says, “The pants are nice.”

“I know what that’s code for,” MJ laughs.

Indignant, Harley huffs, “I’m not a creep, his pants are just really tight.”

“Well, he is both single and bisexual, so if you’re courageous enough, I’d say to shoot your shot, Keener.”

Before Harley has the time to reply, MJ’s already walking off towards the school, without even a glance over her shoulder.

Harley’s not courageous enough to ask Peter out. All he does is wave from a distance, reveling in Peter’s little smile in return before making his way to the locker rooms.

* The first game of the season they nearly lose thanks to Harley’s constant staring at Peter on the sidelines.

The next two games, he focuses so intently on winning for Peter that they totally annihilate the other teams.

At the end of their third game, a home game, Harley’s on his way to the showers, grinning at his teammates when Peter catches up to them.

“Congratulations on your win,” he says.

Harley’s stunned into silence. It’s the first time he’s really seen Peter up close. They only share one class together, Spanish, and they sit on opposite ends, with Harley only able to see the back of his head.

But Peter’s gorgeous.

His brown curls are messy from the last few hours of cheering on the sidelines and the halftime show, some of it still sticking to his forehead. His pale skin is practically glowing in the lights of the field, bambi-brown eyes sparkling and wide, and chest still heaving from the exertion of their last, over-the-top performance. His arms are practically straining in the tight t-shirt he’s wearing, the gold accents making his eyes look a little more honey, smile wide on his face.

“I, uh-” Harley chokes out, cursing himself for acting dumb. “Thank you. You guys were pretty incredible.”

“Thanks.” A soft blush rises on his cheeks, makes him look down, smile turning shy. “Good luck on your next game. The Brooklyn Team’s the best in state.”

Harley can’t help the frown. “You won’t be there?”

“I’ve got Academic Decathlon competition in DC that weekend. But good luck anyways.”

“You too…” Harley feels like his chest is constricting over the knowledge that Peter’s smart too. “I, uh, I guess I’ll see you around?”

Peter smiles sweetly and leans up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah, I’ll see you around.”

* Over the next few weeks of short conversations after games or practices, Harley finds himself watching Peter all the time.

Peter wears his cheerleading uniform all day everyday like the others do, head held high and students parting for him like he’s royalty. He’s friends with pretty much everyone, sending smiles and having short conversations as he goes down the hallway to class.

He’s also unbelievably kind, stopping teasing at every chance he gets, using his popularity to keep people in line, being nice to even the nerdiest looking freshmen.

Harley finds himself falling hard the longer he knows Peter.

Watching the way he moves with grace and confidence in such contrast to the way he blushes and smiles shyly whenever he’s complimented. It makes Harley’s heart clench with this crush that feels like it’s developing way too fast for his own comfort.

* “Could I talk to you?” Peter asks him after practice.

Harley’s still sweaty, still uncomfortably warm in his pads and uniform, helmet dangling from his fingertips leaving his hair messy and ruffled. But he offers a smile. “Yeah, everything okay?”

The cheerleader looks uncomfortable, turning his gaze to the grass, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Hey,” Harley says, voice dropping low and quiet as he pulls them farther away from their teams, trying his best to keep his thoughts away from Peter’s bicep flexing wondrously beneath his fingers. “You can talk to me, whatever it is.”

“It’s just embarrassing…” Peter looks up at Harley through his eyelashes. “My grades have dropped in a few of my classes, and I know we only share Spanish, but I kinda got MJ to snoop and it turns out you have one of the highest GPA’s in school.”

Harley frowns because that can’t possibly be right. “From what I’ve seen in Spanish class, you seem really smart.”

“Well, I don’t want to sound overly confident, but I am smart. I’ve just had a bad habit of slacking off when it comes to homework. So my grades aren’t looking too hot and my aunt threatened to make drop out of cheerleading if I didn’t get it in order.”

Offering a reassuring smile, Harley nods. “Not really tutoring, but I can sit with you in the library and help you work through the homework? More like study date- sessions. Study sessions.”

Peter positively lights up in a grin. “Wow, really? Thank you! I’ve got cheerleading practice three nights a week and Academic Decathlon every other night, so I’m not really free, but if you’re willing to hang out after your football practices…”

“Yeah, of course, sounds perfect. We’ll start Wednesday?”

“Yes! Thank you! I promise I’ll be a good study partner. I’ll see you around, Harley!”

And with that, Peter skips off to catch up with his cheerleader friends.

Harley can only shake his head in wonder and head off to the lockers.

* Wednesday comes quickly, and Harley’s glad because with how much time he spends daydreaming about Peter, he’s not sure he can keep up his grades either.

But soon enough, he’s waiting outside the locker rooms for Peter, hoping that the shower was enough to wash away the sweat from the tough practice.

“Hey!” Peter says, bubbly and smiling brightly. “I know we said we’d study at the library, but I’m getting a little bit sick of being inside all day. Do you want to work out on the bleachers?”

Harley nods, swallowing thickly and trying his best to keep his eyes strictly on Peter face and not watch his arms or his neck or his legs. “Sounds good.”

They head out into the setting sun, playfully nudging shoulders and nearly racing each other to get to the bleachers first, which ends in Peter laughing and shouting when he makes it their first.

“So, I heard from MJ this morning that you were being unbelievably humble when you said you were smart. She said you have a genius IQ. And you needed study help, why?”

“I told you,” Peter says, laughing. “I haven’t done homework in nearly three years. My grades are solely based on test scores and participation which would be fine if the take-home projects weren’t weighted so heavily.”

Harley rolls his eyes but takes out his Chemistry textbook anyways. “Alright, let’s get you caught up then. You’ve got nearly two months of homework to catch up on.”

“Let’s do this then.”

It turns out, Harley loves watching Peter work. He really is a genius, easily getting the work done like it’s second nature to him, able to answer mathematical equations without a calculator or a second thought, speed reading his way through chapters in the textbook. And it definitely helps that he looks absolutely stunning in the light of the setting sun and the gentle wind.

Eventually, though, they can’t stay much longer with the fading, and curfew closing in.

“Thanks for your help today… Same time Friday?” Peter asks, eyes all wide and hopeful, smile sweet.

“Actually, not to be presumptuous, but we’d have more time if we hung out for longer… Would you want to come over? Spend the night? We could work later and get more done on Saturday?”

Peter thinks about it for a moment and then he shrugs. “I don’t think my aunt would be happy with me spending the night, but you’re welcome to come to mine?”

“Sounds like a plan, Parker. You need a ride home?”

“Sure, yeah, thanks.”

Harley helps pack up their things and then takes Peter’s bag before leading him out to his truck. He opens the door for Peter, memorizing the dazzling smile he gives in return.

They only have half an hour together on the drive home, but it’s enough time for them to share more personal information.

Harley tells Peter about his sister and his mom, about Tennessee and how different life was there, how much he loves New York in comparison. He talks about getting quarterback, winning games, being on top of the social hierarchy for the first time in his life.

Peter, in turn, mentions quietly how he was bullied in the ninth grade before and when he first joined the cheerleaders. How at first, people told him it was girls team, that it wasn’t meant for him. But then they won their first trophy which snowballed into him becoming captain and leading them to win nationals and get them fifth in worlds. And then, very quickly, he became the most popular kid in school.

By the time they reach Peter’s apartment, Harley feels like they’ve grown closer and he doesn’t want to say goodbye to him.

“Today was really nice,” Peter murmurs, leaning across to kiss Harley on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me out. I’ll see you at school tomorrow and then Friday night?”

The words are on the tip of his tongue, wanting to ask Peter out, change Friday Night into a Date Night instead of a Study Session.

But then Peter’s hopping out of his truck, bag slung over his shoulder and gold accents of his uniform glimmering in the streetlights. And Harley misses his chance.

* Peter’s quiet the whole way to his apartment, bag sitting in his lap.

He looks almost out of place in the outside world while still in his Midtown Cheerleading Uniform. But Harley’s still in his jersey, so it’s not so strange in comparison.

Peter leads him into his cozy apartment, empty apart from them, and they make themselves at home in the living room around the coffee table.

“Everything okay?” Harley asks, almost startling himself with his own voice. He was planning on leaving it alone, he’s not really Peter’s friend.

“Yeah, I just kind of have a lot riding on this.” Peter’s quiet for a second, fiddling with his nails before he explains, “I can’t afford to go to a school like Midtown, but I got awarded a full ride. If I don’t get my grades up, I might be put on academic probation, have my scholarship taken away… I’d have to switch schools for my senior year, also meaning I’d probably lose the university scholarships I might’ve been offered for cheerleading.”

Harley mulls over it for a moment before shrugging. “Well, you have a very good study partner on your side. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure your grades are up by exams. Don’t start thinking of the worst-case scenarios just yet.”

The tenseness leaves Peter’s shoulders in one exhale, expression softening. “Thanks. I don’t want to put pressure on you, but-”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

Smiling, Peter opens his bag and they get to work.

Time passes quickly when they’re focused on getting things done, it’s not hard for Peter to get closer and closer to catching up, but there’s only so much they can do before boredom and hunger starts to set in.

They order pizza, Harley offering to pay but Peter insistent after Harley’s helped him so much.

“You know,” Harley says after Peter gets off the phone, “Breaks are important to keep up consistent work.”

Peter grins knowingly, flopping down onto the couch beside Harley. “Are they?”

“As an avid homework-doer and studier, I can totally say that breaks are important. So, I suggest we do pizza and a movie, and then a bit more work before bed.”

“Of course. And as someone who doesn’t do homework or study, I can’t disagree with anything you say. Here.” Peter gives him the TV remote. “Let me go get changed, I can only wear this for so long before I start craving sweatpants, and when I get back, we’ll start on a movie of your choosing.”

Harley picks out Star Wars, seemingly a safe bet considering the very obvious Star Wars poster stuck to the wall above the couch, and texts Abbie in the meantime who teases him endlessly, already having figured out his crush on Peter.

“Star Wars! It’s like you read my mind!” Peter calls out, slipping around the couch.

“I mean there’s science so it’s-” But the words are gone as soon as he sees Peter.

He looks so much different than the Cheerleading Captain Harley’s always seen him as, tucked in a pair of loose sweatpants and an even looser t-shirt, hair mussed and body relaxed. God, if Harley thought he looked incredible in his uniform, it’s nothing compared to the way he looks relaxed and content in lounge clothes.

“So it’s…” Peter prompts, forehead creasing but smiling in amusement.

“Sorry, I- You’re just- Sorry, I’ve never seen you outside your uniform before,” Harley says, voice suddenly thick. “The movie’s educational, that’s all.”

Peter giggles, sitting down beside Harley, against Harley, and presses play so the beginning credits begin to roll. “I’m going to take that as a compliment, but I don’t think Star Wars counts as educational.”

“It is a compliment!” Harley gasps, higher than he means it to come out. “I was just surprised is all… You’re- It’s just- Wow.”

He laughs again. “Wow? For someone with a nearly perfect GPA, that’s not the most articulate compliment.”

“I meant- Oh god, I’m totally embarrassing myself, aren’t I?” He runs a hand through his hair, feeling his face flush warmly. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s sweet. I get a lot of compliments, but most about how my ass looks in the uniform, so I do appreciate being complimenting for being wow while in sweats.”

Harley’s eyes go wide, and he’s quick to try to redeem himself, “You’re just really pretty is all! That was worse than wow, wasn’t it? I’m just making this worse.”

“You think I’m pretty?” Peter repeats, eyes so soft and open and earnest. “That’s a new one.”

For once, Harley manages to keep his mouth shut, not wanting to say anything more, but Peter’s still blushing and smiling when he turns back to the TV, shaking his head fondly.

*

Long after pizza and their movie’s done, homework continued through until they were laughing too much to continue to think straight, Peter finally calls it a night.

Harley changes in the bathroom and purposefully leaves his jersey on the back of the couch, while Peter makes him a bed on the couch.

It would’ve been a good time, Harley knows, to ask that question, to see if this will lead in another direction, but he chickens out and ends up just with, “Goodnight, Peter.”

And Peter smiles, all warm and sweet, and he murmurs, “Night, Harley.”

And that’s that.

In the morning, Harley wakes to the smell of coffee.

He pretends he’s still asleep when he hears voices drifting in from the kitchen.

“So that’s the infamous Harley Keener,” a woman says, Harley guesses it’s Peter’s aunt.

“He’s helping me get my grades up.”

The woman laughs. “For someone with a genius IQ, I don’t know how you managed to let your grades drop like that. It’s not his fault? Or cheerleading?”

“No, May, I promise I’m working on it.”

“Good. Don’t let him get in the way of your education or focus, honey. Don’t let him hurt you, alright?”

Harley finally stretches up, making himself known as awake. He yawns, looking over the back of the couch towards the kitchen. “Morning.”

Peter lights up in a smile. “Morning, Harley. You want coffee?”

“Sure, thanks.”

He slips up just as May says she’s off to bed, still wearing her nurse scrubs, and he offers a quiet greeting to her on her way out.

And then it’s just him and Peter.

“Sleep well?” Harley asks when the silence stretches a second too long. Peter nods, passing him the mug of hot coffee. It’s a Star Wars mug and he can feel his cheeks warm.

“We don’t really have much breakfast food… You wanna maybe go out somewhere to get some?”

Harley, still sleep-warm and relaxed, jumps as the chance. “Do you want to go out? Like on a proper date? Breakfast? On me?”

“The quarterback with the cheerleading captain?” Peter says. “That’s a bit of a cliché, isn’t it?”

“I suppose. Is that a no?”

Peter seems to ponder it for a moment before he shrugs. “I kind of love clichés.”

“Breakfast then.”

Grinning, Peter nods, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Let me get dressed and then we’ll go.”

“Perfect.”

As soon as he’s left alone in the kitchen, he pumps his fists in the air, barely managing to stifle his excited cheer.

“I saw that!” Peter calls out.

Flushing, Harley quickly sets down his coffee, grabs his bag and heads to the bathroom to get changed quickly, wishing he’d packed something nicer than jeans and a flannel.

“I’m surprised you’re not in your uniform,” he says when he sees Peter waiting by the door.

He’s wearing a pair of tight jeans and a simple t-shirt, grinning just as bright as always.

“I only wear it at school.”

Harley shrugs. “I was starting to think it was the only thing you owned.”

Peter links their hands together and pulls open the door, smiling just as bright as ever.

* All eyes turn towards the cafeteria doors.

“Oh my god-” Betty breathes from near Harley.

He looks over his shoulder, expecting to see something vaguely newsworthy but otherwise boring, but instead finds Peter.

Peter who’s wearing his blue and gold cheerleading uniform as always, curls messy and cheeks flushed pink, except he’s wearing a jersey over his uniform.

Harley’s jersey.

“Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death,” Peter calls out, dramatically loudly to get the rest of the student’s eyes on him.

Harley trips up to his feet, eyes wide and shocked because after one date, Peter’s already announcing it to the world.

“You left this at my place,” Peter says, walking up to him. His eyes are bright and amused like he expected Harley to get this flustered. His voice drops to nearly a whisper. “I know it’s soon but I saw you staring, saw you watching me during practices. The only reason I saw is because I was watching you too. I want to make this official.”

“Yeah, I- Yeah, I want that.”

Peter grins, kissing Harley on the mouth for the first time, they’d parted yesterday with only a kiss on the cheek. When he pulls away, he’s still smiling. “Sorry about doing this here. I couldn’t wait. Too much?”

“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes,” Harley chokes out. “I’m just- You look good. I didn’t expect you to like me too.”

“I do. I really do.”

Harley finally smiles back at him, grabbing Peter by the waist to kiss him again. “You want to go out with me again? Wednesday? After practice?”

“I would love to. Can I- Would it be okay for it to be as boyfriends?”

“Okay? Yes, more than okay. I would really love that.”

Peter laughs, tucking himself close to Harley’s chest. “Wow. Boyfriends.”

For the rest of the year and the following year, they’re considered Midtown’s Power Couple.

And when they make it MIT together, Peter having managed near-perfect grades with Harley’s help, they’re considered MIT’s Power Couple too.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spidey-reids-2003  @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed  @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 @loveliestdisappointment @joyful-soul-collector @genderfluid-and-confuzled {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

[mamaskillerqueen]

hi, i’m requesting a blurb where ben unintentionally says i love you for the first time to the reader before ending a phone call. they are in a long distance relationship atm because of their work schedules (plus they just started dating, like 3 months in idk) since they’re in different timezones, reader has to go to bed soon. they exchange their goodbyes and ben throws in an love you unintentionally. (1/2)

then reader confronts ben about it the next day or so to see if he knew he said it without realizing, which admits he did but then he says it again because he means it lol. (2/2) sorry for the long request i’m in need of some ben content 😅

A/N: ahhhh I love this!!! Thank you so much for requesting it! I hope you like this. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it but I hope it’s what you were looking for! (I am always in my Ben feels so this request has me so mushy 🥰)

Staying up so late was really starting to weigh on you. For the millionth time in the last three months the clock struck half one in the morning, battling a yawn and doing your best to keep your eyes open. He was late.

For the last three months, every single night at 1:20pm, your phone was ringing to bring you the voice you so desperately missed. The crackle of the connection even bearable. It had been too long since you heard him properly.

You had been looking forward to his call all day but as the time slipped away, you were just getting more and more tired. Five minutes had gone by when it finally rang. Your eyes shot open and you quickly answered, a yawn at the ready as you greeted him.

“Hello to you too,” he chuckled.

“Sorry, it’s late. I was trying not to fall asleep.”

Starting to date Ben was probably the best thing you had ever done. Even if you had only had two weeks together before he flew away to an exotic land to film some crazy movie, leaving the majority of your relationship tied up in phone calls, text messages, and FaceTimes.

“I know, I was running a bit late. We’ll make it a quick call. Tell me about your day.”

It never failed, he always wanted to hear about your day first. Your day that never changed, was continuously the same thing over and over, work, walk, dinner, shower, read, and then watch a movie until he called. He was always so interested sounding too. Never once letting on that maybe you should get more of a life.

“Oh, and Lisa said there is a great little pop up market this weekend. I think we’re gonna grab brunch and go shopping all day Saturday.”

You loved getting to go out and do fun things with your friends on the weekends that you had off but it was rare you managed to have the same weekends off. The whole time you had been explaining your day and plans you had been so animated. Barely even yawned once.

“Tell me about your day?”

The smooth, deep rumble of his voice in your ear was a lullaby and almost impossible to not start to fall asleep. He always helped you feel so calm and relaxed. Your eyes fell heavy before you caught your self and jolted up right. He must have heard this because he said,

“I should let you sleep, love.”

Your protest seemed to fall on deaf ears though because he was quick to cut in again.

“I’m off tomorrow. I’ll call you earlier and we’ll get to chat longer. Get some sleep. I love you, goodnight.”

The line went dead and your mouth hung open in shock. This was a dream. One hundred percent fantasy. Your overly tired brain cooked up a story to shut you up and put you to sleep. Except now you didn’t know if you could. He couldn’t have said that.

Could he have? Would he have said it so nonchalantly? You almost called him back but exhaustion was winning. Not to mention, what if he didn’t actually mean it? What if that had been a mistake?

The next day all you could think about was what Ben had said. The big “L” word. Was it time for that? You surely felt it, even if over half of your relationship was over the phone. If you were being honest, the first two weeks you’d fallen in love but refused to acknowledge it. It was scary. But you had to know if he meant it.

After work, delaying the inevitable, you went to the grocery shop and gathered all the things you’d need for the rest of the weeks lunches and dinners. Then you made dinner. Then you showered. Taking all the extra time you could before calling him. He’d texted you this morning, like every morning but today, he’s asked you to call him whenever you were ready. He seemed normal, which only made you more anxious.

When you finally called he sounded relieved and you almost wondered if he was as anxious as you. As the call went on though, it didn’t seem like it. Talking about your day was a struggle as you stumbled over the words you really wanted to say.

“Is everything okay?” He finally asked.

“Everything’s fine,” came your knee jerk answer.

It sounded like he was going to protest and so you quickly added,

“No, actually. Something’s been bothering me all day.”

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. He seemed to sense that you would go on, he was always good at knowing when to talk and when to shut up and listen.

“Last night... when we hung up.”

“Yes,” he said after a while of silence.

“You said something.”

The more you stalled the more anxious you got but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. What if he hadn’t meant it?

“I said a lot of things, darling. You’re going to have to be specific.”

Heaving a sigh you decided you just needed to rip the bandaid off. The sting would only last a little while. Right?

“You said you loved me.”

Silence.

Still silent.

Your heart was racing, it was like time stood still. You sat frozen, your pumping heart the only indication you were still alive.

“Yes, I did. I do. Love you, I mean.”

Similarly to the previous night you sat with your jaw dropped open. Twice. He’s said it twice. This time for real, for real. Not like a figment of your imagination. You were fully awake, aware. He loved you.

Holy shit.

He loved you.

A clearing of his throat gave away his own anxiety and you had to gather your jaw off the floor to help alleviate his.

“Oh my god. I thought I was dreaming last night.”

An uncomfortable chuckle was what greeted you after that. It took a second but you finally realised you hadn’t said it back.

“I love you, too.”

Another relieved sigh met you, and then a faint chuckle.

“You had me a bit worried there for a second. Thought I might have scared you away.”

“Never.”

Three more weeks. You just had to make it three more weeks and then he’d be back in your arms. His voice would be clearer, deeper, and he’d say it again. Butterflies went rampant in your stomach at the thought.

Three weeks later you picked him up at the airport, he said he loved you again and it was the greatest thing you’d ever heard him say. For the next three days all you did was say the words back and forth fully appreciating the sound of each other’s voices not distorted through the phone line.

The start of forever never sounded so good.

[adamarinayu]

Can you tell us more about your author au, back in action au, and Notre duck au? Sorry if I'm asking for a lot but I just saw them on your AU list and they caught my interest 😅

Haha sure! I haven’t worked on any of them in a while but here we go! It’s a bit long, especially the Back in Action section....

In the Author AU, Donald is an author who works under a pseudonym, so that he and the triplets can have some normalcy in life while also being able to support them comfortably. He’s the author of a best selling series, which is the Paperinik series (maybe in this AU it’ll be called Duck Avenger, idk). 

He began writing the PK stories during highschool, and they were published as shorts regularly in a small magazine. Of course, being a teenager, it began as a fantasy- it was how he vented his frustrations. Gladstone, of course, figured it out, as did Della, but Scrooge had no interest so no one else outside of Donald’s closest circle (that is to say, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy and Goofy) knew. It soon grew to be a hero story, rather than a story about vengeance. At this point there are no nephews in the story.

After highschool, his story got picked up by a publishing company and Uno was his agent. He ended up including the character ONE based off of Uno, which Uno is equal parts amused and exasperated by (”Honestly, I thought you said you wanted to be anonymous.”). The two don’t officially become friends, however, until a couple of years later, when Della went missing. Donald had taken a surprisingly dark turn in the story which would have resulted in killing off the main characters, at which point Uno decided to intervene and talk to him. With Uno’s support and growing friendship Donald rewrote the story, keeping the darker tone but ending it on a higher note with all the characters alive and happy.

Donald also gave PK a family of his own, having him be a single father to three children (hinted heavily at them being adopted, after PK saved them as eggs), a decision which forever changed the direction of the books from being about a duck who fights because it’s all he’s good for, to being about a duck who fights because he has something worth fighting for. He and Uno obviously become very close over this time.

Gladstone reads every book that comes out. He always wins a free edition but insists on buying it, as his way of helping Donald out. He uses the tone of each book and the events that happen in them to determine whether or not he needs to come and kick a little sense into Donald.

Donald ultimately concludes the book series after Della comes back, with the story having a happy ending all around. Which definitely includes ONE getting a physical body and joining the family. Unsurprisingly he and Uno get married. Scrooge and the kids find out he’s the author of PK after Scrooge announces his studio bought the movie rights to the film lol. Della and Gladstone are just like “wow seriously, you guys didn’t see the writing clear on the wall?”

--

The Back in Action AU is basically, PK was a TV show and Donald was the titular character, PK. His co-star was Uno, who lent his voice and face to the character ONE (the names of all the characters in PK are changed, ofc, their real names are the actors’ names now, except for Uno and Xadhoom). The entire cast (yes, including Angus Fangus) were a pretty tight-knit family, of a sort. So while Della and Scrooge were adventuring (as he had left the adventure life behind, feeling as if he wasn’t contributing or seen as an equal among the group) he became part of a family of his own. Daisy also played PK’s love interest, though the two of them are actually more like Best Pals. They went to highschool together so. Daisy wasn’t in the main cast and was just a recurring character, as she had a main role in another series.

The triplets in PK were just babies, but PK wasn’t their primary caretaker. They were more like background characters, but occasionally PK would get roped into babysitting them and having to balance watching the children and saving the world because “oh god even if I stop the Evronian invasion if any of their feathers get singed my sister will kill me!” (Note, PK’s sister was only seen in photos and was a blonde, like in the original comics. You can hear her voice now and then though)

Donald was close with everyone (oh the bloopers he and Angus had.... and of course the Evronians, something ALWAYS went wrong with their costumes!) but Uno became his best friend (and his almost-more). The series was the most popular thing on TV for a while, and Gladstone and Fethry were so proud of their brother cousin and so sad that Scrooge and Della were missing the best moments of his life. Gladstone and Fethry are much more involved in Donald’s life than Della and Scrooge are in this AU. That isn’t to say they don’t all love each other very much, it’s just Della and Scrooge’s interests laid elsewhere.

Anyway, every series hits its end, and more often than not it comes much faster than planned. PK ended a whole season sooner than expected, due to the sudden buyout of their studio and the new owners choosing to shut PK down in favour of one of their own shows (couldn’t afford both at the same time, and their own show had a smaller budget). So the series ended on the cliffhanger of PK losing ONE and (Lyla’s character), the Evronians being defeated and PK choosing to hang up his cape because of just how much that final battle cost him. It was an ending that angered many people, extremely upsetting especially knowing that it hadn’t been the planned ending of the series.

The entire cast and crew split up, most still staying in acting but a few leaving. Donald went back to adventuring with Scrooge and Della while Uno went back to Italy with his brothers (Due and Tre, the former of which played a major part in 2-3 episodes) to work in their father’s lab. They ended up falling out of contact (not by their own choice, just due to the nature of their jobs). Then a few years later Della went missing and Donald was left caring for her three children- it was a bit ironic, perhaps.

In the 10-12 years Donald was taking care of them, a “sequel” movie and a spinoff came to be with different actors and stories, but neither were well received because they lacked the “spirit” and charm of the original series. Especially the spinoff, which was animated in a very Saturday-morning style.

The triplets don’t really know about the OG PK, only knowing it by the spinoff, or that their uncle used to be a big name actor. However, 10 or so years later it’s announced that PK is coming back.... with the original writers and actors (except for the kids). Including Donald Fauntleroy Duck, the actor who played the titular PK. They are shook.

The original children who played PK’s nephews were unavailable (”We were like 2 during all that, we really don’t care”) and, besides that, had already aged out of the roles (the comeback was a Ten Years Later kind of deal, and it had been more like 14 or 15 since the end of the show, so the original kids were already mid-late teens. Therefore, when the director discovered Donald was now caring for his three nephews (convenient that there were three) he suggested they play the role of the triplets. Donald left it up to the triplets, under the stipulation that they would have minor roles (as the triplets always did) and this wouldn’t interfere with school.

They actually made a whole new role for Webby in the show! Because the triplets agreed on the condition that Webby gets to join them. And that’s how Webby began to play the triplets’ younger sister. The director decided to take a page out of Donald’s real life and wrote PK’s sister out (this was also partially because the actress had died) so PK was now being a full-time father to his kids who had no idea who he really was.

But then Donald finds out that not only is Lyla there, not only is Angus there... so is Uno. Uno and both of his brothers. It’s quite a reunion. And of course everyone expects Donald’s most emotional reunion to be with Daisy, but no. It’s Uno. And Uno is the one he ends up on the front of a magazine with lol.

Also yeah they get married :3

Man I think I may have overspoke about this one XD But I really enjoy this one what can I say jkkghfdsjlk

--

Notre Duck!! That’s another one I enjoy though it isn’t as in-depth as the last. So basically Everett came to Earth, and it’s kinda like.... a Duck version of medieval times. He came here for inspiration, then ended up building Uno, who became like a son to him. However, when other flesh-and-blood ducks realized he was an android, they became fearful and called him a monster, and tried to attack and run him out of town.

After that, Everett hid him away in a tower attached to a church, where no one but the church staff would go. He didn’t want to lose his android son. But Uno watches the world below his tower change, dreaming of a day when he could go out there too.

One day he meets Donald, who is a street performer with an association to Scrooge McDuck, a king in a neighboring kingdom. Donald finds out very quickly that he is an android and doesn’t judge him for it, instead encouraging him to leave the tower because “life is about the adventure.” This, of course, does not sit well with Everett, who forbids Uno from leaving the tower or seeing Donald.

Donald is wanted by the lord of the city, who wants to use him against Scrooge (and earn favour with his own king). There’s no creepy old men lusting after young women and no slurs being used casually so.

Also anyway this actually spawned from me imagining Uno to the song Out There so yeah.

[holylulusworld]

The Truth (4)

Request: Was thinking something angsty with Sebastian Stan & reader. His friend maybe tells him that she's not nice & is behind his fame & money so she's acting all nice. Once when she's talking abt someone else Seb thinks she's actually talking abt him. He acts cold towards her & throws her out on her b'day. He insults her in front of everyone & tells everyone how bad she is. She leaves the country & changes all the contacts. Seb sees her after 2yrs, with his child. Idk a happy ending??? 

This part got inspired by James’s Blunts ‘The truth’

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader (platonic), OFC Matteo Christopher

Warnings: angst, arguments, daddy!Sebastian, shared custody, tension, longing, language

You love me not masterlist

Around three months later…

“Please let me come with you, Chris. I want to help her move into the new house. I could paint my sons’ room or help carry heavy stuff.” Shuffling on his feet Sebastian begs his best friend to let him help you move in.

“Sebastian, Y/N agreed to let you see your son on a regular base but she’s not ready to see you more often than she must. Give her more time Seb. I know you want to win her over, but this is the wrong way. If I bring you with me she will get mad or worse.” Chris tries to reason with his friend, hating he always must play the buffer for his best friends.

“Chris…” Sighing Sebastian sits onto the sidewalk, nodding as his friend opens his trunk to toss more movement boxes in. Chris wants to say more but his phone starts ringing, and he raises one finger.

“Y/N…wait. “What’s wrong? Oh…shit. Yeah, how about I bring Sebastian with me? He’s at my place to talk about the script and…oh…good. Great. We are on our way. Do you need anything else?” Hanging up his phone Chris points at his car. 

“Is something wrong? Does Y/N need help, Chris? Is she okay, is my son okay?” Panicked Sebastian starts panting and Chris needs to calm his friend.

“Breathe, Seb. The movement guys just tossed most of her stuff onto the street and Y/N is all alone with Matteo. She agreed to let you help her now get your shit together and don’t jump at her right away.”

----

“Thank you for coming to my place that fast, Chris. Those idiots just dropped the rest of my belongings onto the sidewalk and drove away. They brought the furniture in but not the rest of my stuff. I couldn’t leave my stuff or my son alone.” Sniffling you give Chris as cracked smile as he gently strokes your son's head.

“I was on my way to you, Y/N. No problem at all. Sebastian offered his help after he heard you are all alone.” Chris lies, trying to hide the fact his friend wanted to come here the whole time.

“Oh…thank you.” Glancing at the cartons on the sidewalk Sebastian nods, giving you a shy smile.

“We should start with these over there.” Pointing at some cartons close to the street Sebastian nods at Chris who grabs the first one to bring it into your new house. “I’ll take these over here and you will wait for her to make sure no one steals anything.” Sebastian is picking two cartons up without any effort and you gasp watching his muscles flex.

It's a long, lonely road

That I've walked on my own

Never thought I'd end up in this place

I went fast, I went slow

Then I gave up all hope

'Cause I know, either way, it's the same

Boxes, suitcases, and cartons get carried into your house while you can’t stop watching Sebastian. He took his jacket off, followed by his shirt. Sweat is dripping down his back as he carries another box into your house.

“Almost done.” Chris points at the last three boxes, smiling as Matteo squeals at the sight of his father carrying a box with his toys into his new home.

“Daddy!” Matteo calls for his father and Sebastian stops in his tracks. Turning around he gently cups his son's head, stroking his hair. 

“Daddy is here, Baby Boy. Let me carry your toys into the house, okay. I’ll come back on Saturday and we’ll go to the zoo as promised.” Sebastian tries to give you space, as Chris suggested but his son starts crying, holding out his tiny hands.

“Dadda…” Sniffling Matteo looks up at Sebastian and you give your former lover a cracked smile. 

“You and Chris can stay for dinner if you want to. I didn’t cook but we could order pizza or something.” Babbling you glance at Chris who smiles, hoping you and his friend can find a way to raise your child together.

“Sorry but I have to meet up with the producer.” Nodding you remember Chris told you about the important meeting for his next project.

“Oh, I forgot.” Sebastian sighs, knowing you will send him away now. “Only the three of us then…”

“I…yeah…” Smiling Sebastian kisses his son’s forehead before he grabs the boxes to run into your house. Not caring you can hear him sniffle.

“He tries, Y/N.” Chris tries to explain what his best friend told him this morning, but you stop your friend, shaking your head.

“Chris, don’t. I need to find a way to accept Seb is part of my son’s life, but I don’t think there is a chance to let him in again. He made his decision over two years ago. Only as he realized it was a mistake doesn’t change how deeply he hurt me.”

Sebastian steps out of your house and you fall silent, ignoring the dull ache in your chest as your son holds out his hands to get his father’s attention.

“Done, Baby Boy. Now daddy can carry you inside…” Wiping his sweaty face with his shirt Sebastian smiles at you, seeing your blown pupils. 

----

“That’s a nice house.” Sebastian tries. Nodding you give him a shy smile, not knowing how to give him the necklace he left at your house in Italy back. “I mean…uh…” Nervously poking the pasta with his fork Sebastian glances at his son playing with his food.

“Matteo, Baby Boy don’t play with your food.” Scolding your son, you laugh as he takes another noodle to put it into your hand. “Watch how your daddy eats his noodles.”

Now your son looks at his father and Sebastian starts eating, smiling as Matteo tries to mimic him. “Perfect, Baby Boy. I bet you will be able to eat like your daddy in no time.”

“Do you go on dates?” Sebastian blurs out and you turn pale, not wanting to discuss such a sensitive theme in front of your son.

“Seb…”

“I just…please…I didn’t go out with anyone since I got to know she lied to me. I need to know if someone is holding your heart.”

You want to yell at him, want to tell him this is none of his business, but you can’t use swear words when Matteo is around, so you blink a few times before you shake your head.

And I'm not tryna find somebody

'Cause no one else but you will do

Yeah, the real thing is gone

Now I wish I could hold you

“I was busy with work and raising my son, Sebastian. I didn’t find the time to go out and get my heart broken once again. Or to be correct I can do without heartbreak and betrayal.” 

Voice cold you glare at your former lover. You can see him flinch, but you don’t care. “You broke me beyond repair. I trusted you with my heart and you just walked all over me, or rather tossed me into the dumpster for a lying…” Now you press your hands to your son’s ears. “BITCH.”

“Y/N, I never wanted to hurt you.” Sebastian tries once again but your snort, lips curved into a cold smile not reaching your eyes.

“Sure, Seb. You kicked me out on my birthday without hearing me out. You ignored my calls and you never gave a shit on me till you saw me holding your son in my arms but you never wanted to hurt me.” Laughing you look at your son, watching him play with his food while Sebastian despairs.

“Please…”

“Please what, Stan?” Spatting the words, you toss your fork onto the plate.

“Forgive me…”

“Forgive you that I meant nothing to you? That you didn’t give me a chance, after five years of relationship. That you believed her not me or that you tossed me out onto the street knowing I have no one to turn to?” Scoffing you can’t believe he asked you for forgiveness.

“You hate me, I get it…” Sebastian looks at his son, giving him a cracked smile as he offers his father one of his noodles.

“No, I do not hate you. The problem is I still love you and that’s the reason I can’t move on. I still can feel you lie next to me at night and that’s the reason I can’t sleep.” Jumping up, you pace around the table, wiping a single tear away.

“I still hear your voice calling my name or telling me that you love me but in the end, it was all one big lie. There was never love on your side or you wouldn’t have hurt me that badly.” Sniffling you stroke your son's head, trying to keep the tears away.

I wish that all of these days and nights

Trying to chase all these empty highs

But I had to go through my worse

So I know that I just needed you

“Y/N…” Getting up Sebastian moves toward you to take your hand in his, kissing your knuckles softly. “It was always you to me. Please, believe me, I can’t sleep either. I can hear your words echo in the back of my mind and wish I could turn back time and slap my face for letting you go.”

As I look out at the morning sun

There's no escape from the things I've done

And out of everything I've lost

Now I know that I just needed you

“There’s no way to fix what you broke! You ruined me, our relationship and your son didn’t know his father for over two years as you listened to that woman.” With shaking fingers, you try to close your blouse as you can see Sebastian is staring at the necklace.

“You kept it…” Gasping he touches the necklace with his fingertips. You are frozen to the spot when he tilts his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss. “I love you, Y/N…always have…”

And darling, that's the truth

I don't lie anymore

 In a heap on the floor

 'Cause I'm clear on the road I must take 

“Sebastian…” Pressing your hands weakly against his chest you want to push him away but he cups your face to brush his lips over yours. “I can’t…”

“I know…god, I know Baby Girl but please…” Stiffen you feel his lips press against your forehead and you close your eyes for a moment.

“I’ll give you time, space - anything you need but please don’t cut me out of your life. I’m aware I do not deserve you or my son, I know that for sure but…” Sniffling Seb kisses your neck softly. “I can’t stay away from you or imagine loving someone else.”

And I'm not tryna find somebody

'Cause no one else but you will do 

I'm getting close, stumbling over

Everything I need to say to you

I wish that all of these days and nights

Trying to chase all these empty highs

But I had to go through my worse

So I know that I just needed you

“Kiss, kiss…” Squealing your son watches Sebastian kissing your nose, followed by your cheek. “Daddy…”

“Yeah, daddy likes to kiss your mommy and only her, champ. Do you want one too?” Laughing Sebastian purses his lips as Matteo shakes his head, giggling as a wet kiss gets pressed to his forehead. 

“Daddy…gonna stay?” Looking up at you with pleading eyes your son holds out his hands for Sebastian. “Mommy?”

“Stay, Baby Boy?” Gasping Sebastian picks his son up, playing airplane as you try to compose yourself. Legs wobbling, and heart beating way too fast you blink a few times.

“Chris drove…right?” Voice trembling you look at Sebastian as he realizes that Chris drove to your house this afternoon.

“Yeah…uh…” Stammering he glances at his son, laughing as he grabs his nose with one tiny hand.

“I got a guest room close to Matteo’s room. You can stay here, but you have to leave in the morning. I could need help with unpacking the most important things.” Not knowing how to handle your emotions you are close to tears. 

“I’d like that…” Mumbling the words Sebastian looks at his son, smiling as the little boy giggles the whole time. “I’m sorry for being so…dunno…”

“I need…uh…please excuse me for a minute…” Running out of the room you press one hand to your heart, shaking your head.

You can’t give in, can’t let Sebastian break your heart once again. Even if he said the truth…you can never trust him again…

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore, @notyourtypicalrose, @voltage-my2dlove, @thedoctorscamanion, @officialmarvelwhore, @randomgirlkensy, @juniorhuntersam, @lumar014, @doctorswife221b, @sister-winchesters99, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog, @the-soulofdevil​, @chonisberonica , @redroomproperty​, @natura1phenomenon​, @chaoticfiretaconerd​

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@hhiggs​​, @roonyxx​​, @stylesismyhubs​​, @multisuperfandom​​, @mrspeacem1nusone​​, @shadowcatsworld , @fallenoutofrose​​, @rynabarnesrogers​​, @denisemarieangelina

Bucky Barnes/Sebastian Stan Tags

@rynabarnesrogers​, @marshyrebelcloud, @buchanan-lover

You love me not Tags

@thequeenreaders​, @aubageddon91​, @adayinmymeadow​, @imsonick​, @selluequestrian​, @mccloudchloe​, @harrison-shot-first​, @shakemeupthanks-blog​, @bvckys-doll​, @firefly-in-darkness, @marvelgirl7

All works Tags

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[folkloreguk]

Strip Uno (optional bias smut)

A/N: It’s been 84 years since I last posted...thank you to the sweet messages I’ve been getting, you guys motivate me so much! I hope you like this one! (fyi: It’s another friends to lovers scenario, idk why I keep writing those lol)

Pairing: reader x optional bias (male)

“I'd appreciate if the house was still standing when we get back home, okay honey?” your mom said, closing the car trunk.

“Mom! H/N's coming over and we're gonna watch some movies or whatever we feel like, no big deal,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “I'm not nine years old, I can take care of myself.”

“I know that,” your mom said with a smile, getting into the seat next to your dad. “Have fun, I love you.”

“Love you too,” you replied. She shut the door and they drove off. The second they had left the driveway, you fished for your phone in your pocket. Eagerly, you texted your best friend.

Come over later

My parents aren't home

we can build a blanket fort

or mess up the kitchen

Make pancakes??

 As always, it only took him a few minutes to reply.

 first of all I'm never cooking pancakes with you again

I'll be over in a bit

You grinned at his message, getting excited. Even though you saw him almost every single day, there was no better feeling than knowing you were going to have so much fun with him. Like you always did. And since you both became grown ups, you had started to notice your slight attraction towards him. It wasn't like you were in love with him. (That's what you told yourself, at least.) It was just that every time you two spent time together, you noticed it more and more. It was mostly harmless flirting, but it was most certainly mutual. Which only kept you from holding back even more.

Half an hour later, your doorbell rang.

“Did you shrink overnight or did your sweater grow?” was the first thing he said after spotting you in the door frame. He was grinning cheekily and you rolled your eyes.

“It's called oversized and I bought it that way on purpose,” you explained. “I swear to god, you're so uncultured.”

He simply chuckled at your comment and started going off about some school project he was supposed to do. Apparently hanging out with you was more important to him. For a change, you headed into your living room instead of your room.

You had to admit, perhaps you had checked him out as he was walking in front of you. His hair was done nicely, but he was in a comfortable hoodie and his black sweatpants hung on his hips lowly. After he had approached the armrest of the sofa, he flung himself across it, landing in the soft pillows and giving you a playful glare.

“So blanket forts,” he began, “I've been told I'm great at building those.”

“Oh yeah? By whom exactly?” you asked, falling onto the sofa from the opposite side, so your head was next to his, but your legs pointed in different directions.

“My many ladies,” he claimed. You snorted at him.

“You mean your plushies that still sit on your bed?”

“Hey! Too far! You still have plushies too!” he instantly fought back.

“Okay, fair enough, I'm just kidding,” you laughed. “Let's do it then. Show off your skills to me.”

“First, we need every blanket we can get,” he ordered right away. When you looked at him, he was already up, collecting the pillows and blankets in your living room.

The next fifteen minutes you spent looking through drawers. You were surprised at just how many blankets you managed to gather.

“Are you finding any?” he shouted from the living room downstairs. Too busy to reply, you tried hard not to trip down the stairs.

“Does this seem like enough to you?” you questioned. In your arms you were balancing not only around six massive blankets, but also a game of UNO that you had randomly found. You realized you hadn't played it in way too long, and therefore taken it with you.

“Perfect,” he agreed, laughing at your clumsy walk.

Meanwhile, H/N had carried chairs and pillows and even your clothes airer into the room. He had already begun with the positioning, creating a loose concept of where the fort would soon be. When you dropped the blankets and the game, his expression changed.

“Full offence, but playing uno with two people sucks,” he stated. In response you gave him a look of disagreement. Then you decided you would have to convince him later. For now, there was another objective.

As you started the building, you realized a few things.

1. It is seemingly easier to build a stable fort as a grown up person

2. It is more difficult to build a big enough fort for two grown up people

3. It is just as much fun as it used to be

Twenty minutes, lots of laughter and even more concentration later, you were standing in what had to be the most extravagant blanket fort you had ever laid eyes on.

“This, if I may say so myself, is iconic,” he said, putting his arm around your shoulder like you had just completed building your own mansion. You could only agree.

Next, you spent around ten minutes trying to persuade him into a game of UNO. But to no success. Eventually, you ended up next to him in the fort. A bowl of popcorn sat in your lap and your favourite film was playing. To be fair, it had only come to this because he told you he would think about playing with you if you watched a movie first. And when he requested your favourite, you said yes without thinking.

“Stop crying, nothing bad is happening,” he laughed at you. A popcorn landed on you as he threw it. You picked it up and ate it, giving him a glare.

“I can't help it, this is the best scene,” you admitted through teary eyes. Right away, another popcorn flew your way. You were terribly tempted to get him back. For the sake of your fluffy carpet you changed your mind.

“That's so cute,” he said, staring at you while you were completely immersed in the scene. Still you caught yourself wanting to give him a smile, maybe say something flirty back. Instead, you grinned a little, but kept your eyes on the screen of your laptop.

After the movie was over, you brought the bowl and the laptop outside of the tent. Of course you returned with the UNO. It had gotten later at night, but you were determined as ever. Plus, it was Saturday. He was probably going to stay overnight anyway. Or at least that's what happened 9 out of 10 weekends.

“It's still a no from me,” he said the second you put down the game in front of him.

“Please!” you begged. “I haven't done this in so long, I wanna play it so bad!”

He sighed from where he was lying on the ground. One of his hands was supporting his head while the other was reaching for the box of the game. He was smiling brazenly now, and you wondered what was going through his mind.

“Okay, I'll play with you,” he said. You clapped in excitement, but he raised one finger. “If…we put a little twist to it.”

“Fine! What is it?” you asked, wanting to start playing as quickly as possible. He gave you another cheeky look, and you were slightly worried.

“We'll play strip uno,” he said. Like it was the most normal request in the world.

“What the hell are you talking about?” you replied, confused but not as surprised as you thought you would be.

“You know, like strip poker. We'll play and the loser takes off one article of clothing until-” he began.

“I know how strip poker works!” you interrupted him.

“Great? Why did you ask then?” he replied, fake innocence on his face. You let out air through your nose and shook your head. Your mind was spinning. Flirting between you two was one thing, this was a whole other. Then you thought. You wanted to play this game. Now. And you thought of all the times he had seen you in a bathing suit. This wasn’t so different, was it?

“On one condition,” you said.

“You're proposing a condition on my condition?” he asked jokingly.

“We'll stop at the underwear,” you told him.

“We'll see,” he replied, completely calm. Again, you shook your head. But his answer was good enough for you. You knew he was just fooling with you now.

So it be. As you played the first round, your heart was beating way too fast for you liking. He's just your best friend, dammit, calm down, you told yourself. It didn't work for a second.

On his part, he suddenly acted as if UNO had always been his favourite game. Even though he was the first one to lose.

“Next round!” he exclaimed, throwing his socks away. At some point his enthusiasm caught you and you had to admit, you were less nervous and felt like this was more fun with every card you laid down. And so it went, round after round.

You lost and took off your socks. He lost and took off his hoodie, under which he was wearing another shirt. You lost, and took off your pants. He lost and took off his pants. At least you were even for now.

“Final round!” you said. He was wearing his shirt and you had your sweater, that covered your bra underneath. This round was worse than the previous ones. You could feel a kind of tension in the air, there was less joking around and more stares into each others eyes. You weren't sure what was going to happen after the game was over, but you had a few ideas.

Maybe it was the idea of him possibly losing, but you suddenly used every spark of imagination on what his bare skin would look like. What it would feel like under your fingertips. No matter what would happen after the game, this thought would haunt you until you had found out what it would be like to touch him.

He only had three cards left, while you had six. But frankly, you didn't really care for winning any more. Not when he was there, right in front of you. So damn handsome and charming. When had you begun feeling this way towards him?

You barely noticed as he put down his last card.

“uno uno!” he cheered, giving you a daring look. You wanted nothing more than to simply bend over and kiss him. Instead, you did as the rules said and took off your sweater. The way he looked at you only made it worse. How he licked over his lip just for a moment and how his eyes travelled down your body just shortly, before locking them with your gaze.

“Again,” he commanded.

“It's over, my clothes are gone, I'm not taking off any more,” you reminded him of your rule.

“Come on! Let’s just play another round,” he insisted. You were sitting close to him, but not close enough to feel his body heat. When you looked at him you noticed his eyes on your lips. Then you realized he was still waiting for an answer.

“Whatever, let’s play again then. But I’m keeping my word. No more clothes are coming off,” you gave in, just because you had no idea what to do otherwise. You didn’t want to get away from him now, and what else could you have requested that would have involved being half-naked right next to him?

The last round you played in complete silence. It didn’t feel silent in your head though. Every smile he gave you, made you feel dizzy, like you were drunk. You kept catching him as he stared at you, waiting for you to put down a card. And for the record, you were in the process of losing and he knew.

Then he put his last card onto the pile.

“Uno uno! I won again!” he triumphed. You grinned at his excitement and opened your mouth to ask what to do next. But you noticed his gaze on you, like he was waiting for his order at McDonald’s. It was ridiculous, this boy never gave up. For a few seconds you returned his look. Then you decided to just chance it, and speak.

“What?” you finally asked. “If you want my bra off so bad, you’re gonna have to do it yourself, because I won’t.”

Just for a moment, he was taken aback. Slight confusion and reluctance played on his face. But you gave him a look that said more than a thousand words could have, and suddenly he bent forward and was kissing you.

It wasn’t a romantic, sweet kiss. It was hungry, like you had just found an oasis in a desert after a week of searching. It was like fire when his tongue touched yours for the first time. Your heart was drumming against your ribcage with so much eagerness, you thought it might break it.

At the same time his hands had moved to the back of your bra, fidgeting around for a while until it opened. Without really thinking, you pushed the cards aside and moved over to straddle his waist. His lips moved messily against yours while your fingers tangled in his hair. You couldn’t help but moan softly when his hands made contact with your boobs, his thumb circling around your nipples ever so slowly.

You felt like it was only fair to finally get rid of his shirt too, but when you reached for it, his hand closed around your wrist.

“I didn’t lose, remember?” he asked, clearly joking. He earned a playful hit for that comment. Then he swiftly pulled the fabric over his head. You barely had time to stare at how hot he looked before he kissed you again.

A strained sound left his throat when you ground your hips into his. It kind of sounded like he had just lost to you at Mario Kart (which he often did), just as little higher pitched. It might have been a weird comparison, but after all, he was your best childhood friend.

When you did it again, he moaned even louder, let his head hang back and closed his eyes tightly. Almost like he was trying to control himself, but seemed to be failing.

You took it as a perfect chance to bend forward and kiss his exposed neck. His skin under your lips felt just as you had imagined. Soft and smooth, letting your mouth follow every curve. At the same time you never stopped rolling your hips against his. Now that both of you were left in your underpants, the lack of clothing only turned you on even more.

As your crotch pressed against his already hard bulge, it made something twist the pit of your stomach. Something eager and impatient. Your breaths mixed up as you went from kissing to catching air. All those years of being friends you had never looked this closely into his eyes. They sparkled, even in the dim lighting inside the blanket fort.

“Have you ever thought about doing this before?” you suddenly asked. You didn’t know what had driven you, but you needed to know.

“Having sex?” he asked, followed by a restless sigh of when your hips moved against his.

“Having sex with me,” you said. “Be honest.”

“You want me to be honest?” he asked. He was quiet for a few times, his breathing just as uneven as yours. “I've lost count of how many times I've pictured this.”

Not sure what to say, you leaned forward and kissed him again. You shivered beneath his touch, when his hands wandered down your chest and to your waist, drawing small circles. His hold matched your movement when you rolled your hips over his. They followed the curve of your hips and to the small of your back.

Only when they softly touched the inside of your thighs, you realized you were holding your breath. A tense sigh left your lips when his hand slipped past your pants and between your folds. In no time he was curling his fingers against your sweet spot, seeing how you reacted to his touch. You said his name in a weak tone, your eyelids fluttering in pleasure.

“I like when you say my name like that” he stated, grinning cockily but his eyes looked as if he was in pure awe.

“Right...there,” you whimpered. He fastened his pace, rubbing small circles against your clit until you barely managed to keep your eyes open.

“I can’t wait any longer,” you spoke, softly tugging on the waistband of his boxers to let him know what you were referring to.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Never been more sure,” you replied, and whimpered right after, when he detached his hand from your aching center.

For a moment you sat next to him, so you could both shed off your underwear. When his eyes locked with yours, almost like he was luring you in, you climbed back into his lap.

Another time you gave him a questioning look, and he gave you a small nod. He hissed when you touched his member, pumping him a few times before aligning the tip with your entrance.

You both cursed in unison as you sank down on him, and just for a second you couldn’t help but laugh at each other. There was a moment when he twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers, and you almost failed to believe what was going on.

Then you slowly started to move, and you stopped thinking completely. He began rubbing your clit again, this time messier but it felt even better now. Somehow he seemed to know just how to touch you, even after this short amount of time.  

Meaningless words and moans filled the air beneath the blankets. He had his eyes shut for a few seconds, and you examined his face as it twisted in pleasure and his mouth hung open just a little. His hair was disheveled now, and a small hickey adorned his neck. You blushed at the thought of someone other than you might seeing it.

You could tell he was getting closer, and so were you. Seeing as you both had been so worked up, you knew it wouldn’t take long.

“You feel so good,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck. He only groaned in response, and you buried your head where his shoulder met his neck. Your breath fanned against his skin as you closed your eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his fingers on your clit and of him inside of you.

“I’m so close,” you spoke against his neck. “H/N, oh my god.”

“Me too,” he spoke. His voice was husky and the fingers of his hand was buried in your skin, pushing you against him and making you move faster. Just a few more seconds of his moans, and his fingers working their magic on you, and you saw stars in front of your eyelids.

His name fell from your lips like a mantra as you came. Your hand closed around his wrist, too sensitive to take any more. You forced yourself to keep moving steadily, wanting to see him reach his high too.

It didn’t take long. For a while his jaw clenched and he breathed quickly through his nose, then his lips parted and his fingers dug into your sides as his orgasm washed over him. Slowly you rolled your hips another few times before you halted completely and climbed off him.

For a couple seconds you blankly stared at each other. Then he started smiling like an idiot and fell backwards into the pillows, his arms flopping to his sides lifelessly. You thought of the only rational thing to do, and lay down with him, supporting yourself on your arm and facing him. The way his chest moved slowly as he breathed made you feel peaceful.

“Are we still just friends after this?” he suddenly asked. You thought for a while.

“I think we haven’t been just friends for a long time now,” you admitted. He chuckled in agreement.

“Good, because I want us to be more” he said. A warm happiness spread in your chest at his smile.

“I need to tell you something,” he suddenly said in a different tone. You were awaiting something sentimental, but surely not what he said next.

“The last time we played and you lost,” he started, “I didn’t say uno when I had only one card left. You wouldn’t have lost if you had noticed.”

The way he grinned at you made you want to slap and kiss him at the same time. But you only gave him a playfully warning glare.

“I’m hungry,” he said, quickly changing the topic before you could complain. “You wanna order pizza?”

[wickymicky]

I get the feeling that Weki Meki was supposed to be a nugu group. 

Fantagio had some notable groups, but Hello Venus are known to be pretty underappreciated I think, and Astro are doing alright but they didnt get their first win until 2019, so at the point when Fantagio was putting together a girl group, they might have expected things to be a little bit smaller. I know that the company had bizarre issues too, I don’t know the details but I think the CEO was running the company illegally? idk, he’s not there anymore, i’m pretty sure. When they sent six trainees to Produce 101, I wonder if they knew how much that would change things, lol. I’m sure they hoped they’d do well, but how could you predict that two of them would get into IOI? Well unless they bribed Mnet, which is possible and that wouldn’t be surprising at all lol, but it’s not like they didn’t deserve it, especially Yoojung, whose talent was clear for everyone to see... 

So then Yoojung and Doyeon were in IOI for a while. Fantagio probably made a lot of money from that. When it came time to actually debut their group, they had a lot of eyes on them, and a fairly decent budget. Unlike most girl groups, Weki Meki were able to debut with a mini album. That like never happens unless you’re from a big 3 company lmao, only boy groups debut with mini albums usually, unfortunately. Their debut got a lot of buzz, people loved seeing Yoojung and Doyeon and their group, people loved the choreo, but... not everyone was on board with the song. To put it mildly. When they had their first comeback, it was also a mini album, but even more of the IOI holdouts who were just there for Dodaeng were pushed away by their second title track (for some reason... they must have no taste). Then Crush, their first single album, came out and it did pretty well. It got them attention for being a group, instead of just for having two IOI members. Crush was a popular Weki Meki song, not just something many people listened to out of curiosity. 

Things have gone relatively okay so far. Not ideal, but manageable. Like okay, maybe a large part of the IOI crowd weren’t sticking around anymore, but they were building a fanbase of their own. Picky Picky came out next, and while a lot of people love this song, it’s the song that got me into Weki Meki for instance, still... it felt like the budget had dropped a bit since Crush. Tiki Taka, the repackage of Picky Picky, was even more noticeably smaller, and I think that a lot of people who aren’t kilings don’t even know this comeback exists. The sets were smaller, the outfits were even simpler, the song sounded less expensive... and then Dazzle Dazzle, their most recent comeback, is the lowest budget they’ve had so far. The teaser photos looked like a nugu group, the music video looked like a nugu group, the outfits were mostly just solid colors... And all that brings us to now, with Weki Meki having a comeback soon this month, in about 12 days. The teaser image announcing the name of the album looks like it was made in 5 minutes. It’s just white text on a black background, with various fonts that all kinda clash with each other, and what looks like a stock photo jpeg of a rifle above the top of the image. I’m worried about this comeback.

There’s nothing wrong with nugu groups, I like a lot of them lol. All I’m saying is that on some level it kinda seems like Fantagio is currently investing in Weki Meki at about the level they probably had expected to before Produce 101. Maybe that sweet sweet IOI money finally ran out... and so did the pre-existing IOI fanbase that they counted on to support IDLYG and La La La before they really had a decent-sized fanbase of their own. I get the feeling like they were sort of expecting Weki Meki to be a group like Elris, Dreamnote, Saturday, Momoland when they debuted... something like that. Weki Meki’s still doing pretty well all things considered, they’re definitely doing better than three of the five IOI groups, so why is Fantagio seemingly managing them like they’re not that popular? That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, cause I worry that the more they treat them like that, the more it’ll become true :(

Obviously the songs are still good, they’re still really talented, their fanbase actually seems (to my eyes) bigger than ever... and I don’t mean the amount of fans who will check out a comeback, I mean the amount of fans who consider themselves kilings first and foremost, who are really invested in and loyal to this group. That community seems bigger than ever! So... what’s going on?

They’re coming back with a mini album soon, and that’s awesome, I really hope it’s good and it does well for them, but it’s been two years since their last mini album. That’s worrying. Sigh... I believe in them and I trust them though. We’ll see.

[dramallamadingdang]

Speaking of religion, I saw in a lot of MTS off-topic discussions that you identified yourself as a Christian and defended it a lot. I think you even said once that you were waiting for your husband to die so you can remarry? IDK. What made you switch to our side?

Ooooooh, deconversion testimony. Let’s do this thing, man!

Yes, I was a quite fundamentalist Christian, in certain respects, for a long time. I was part of a non-denominational church that had strong Pentecostal leanings.  The theology was very much of the “hellfire and brimstone” variety, and to this day I can still speak in tongues with the best of them. *laugh* Thankfully, I had not been indoctrinated into any religion as a child, but rather did the “Save me, Jesus!” prayer at the age of 15, after attending my friend’s Assembly of God church for a while off and on, mostly when I’d stay over at her place on Saturday nights. Initially, my conversion was mostly an act of rebellion against my nominally-Catholic but spiritually lackadaisical mother. (By that I mean that she’s probably always been atheist but she never wanted to use the “A” word to describe herself because of its negative connotations, particularly amongst her very Catholic family.) But, even though I didn’t really take it seriously at first, Fundie Christianity got its hooks into me pretty good.

That being said, I always had some beliefs that did not toe the party line, as it were, precisely because I had not suffered childhood indoctrination. The primary things that I had to keep more on the down-low were that I could never be anti-gay, nor could I ever accept creationism as true. (I saw the latter as utterly idiotic even when I was at my Christian-est, although for a while I was convinced of intelligent design.) However, I was very convinced of God’s existence, and I swallowed the hell thing whole, and I believed that the Bible, aside from its creation fairy tale, was all true but that it needed to be read in historical context in order to understand what it “really meant.” That last bit was how I got around thorny things like, for instance, the Bible’s denouncement of homosexuality in both of its Testaments as well as its balls-out endorsement of slavery in both Testaments. But, I did love me some Jesus, yes. I was one of those who focused more on on the happy-lovey verses in the New Testament while deliberately not addressing the far more numerous horrifying bits in both Testaments. I coasted along in my faith just fine. I was even good at winning converts for the church because, having been raised by lawyers who wanted me to be a lawyer, too, I was indoctrinated into bull-headed logic and rhetoric and argument as a child. :)

Problems began, though, when I married my first husband. We married in 1992, so I’d been Christian ~15 years by that time. About a year after we married, he began to buy into the Duggar-esque “the man is the head of the household and the woman must be submissive” bullshit. Thankfully, he didn’t want to have two dozen kids, at least. It was bad enough, from my point of view, that he wanted a wife who did what she was told and waited on him hand and foot, with bonus sex toy functions on demand, all in the name of the Lord. I, as a dominant female raised by very strong 60s-era feminists – as in, both my mother and father – had…hmmm, difficulty with the whole submission thing, though I did try really, really hard, much to the detriment of my mental well-being. 

Secretly, though? Well, secretly, I deliberately took off my “God glasses” and began to do some extremely intense (and, notably, objective) Bible study that incorporated non-religious academic study materials along with the standard apologetic stuff. I spent hours at the library (since the interwebs were in their infancy at the time *laugh*) researching and studying because I refused to accept the notion that the God whom I loved and who I knew I loved me really just wanted me to be chattel, not much different from the livestock that people also weren’t supposed to covet. I was confident that this could not really be the case, and the lawyers’ kid in me wanted to be able to present a solid, well-argued, airtight case to my husband (and to the church as a whole) that would make him see that he was wrong about what God wanted, and then everything would be just fine.

Of course, my husband wasn’t wrong, as it turned out, and thus began my disillusion. I started studying other topics that nagged at my conscience in the same way and…Well, as they say, the easiest way to become an atheist is to be a Christian and objectively read the Bible. (There’s a reason that laypeople reading the Bible is discouraged, if not outright disallowed, in the Catholic church.) So, from the early 90s on, I began a long, slow slide down the slippery slope to apostasy. I didn’t recognize that that was what it was, of course. I thought I was discovering the “real Christianity” that all the people in the church pews, with dogma up to their eyeballs, were missing. Turns out, what I was really discovering was…Well, not to put too fine a point on it or anything, that the Bible is BS and so is Christianity in general. And, after expanding my self-education to include other theistic religions, thinking that maybe one of them was right, that, alas, there is not a single sliver of evidence for any god. I could no longer in good conscience believe in any god, not unless/until I had evidence of he/she/it/them. Which, to date, I do not have. (And frankly, if one day I do have evidence of Yahweh’s existence, at least, and if he is what he says he is in the Bible, then I will no longer be an atheist, but I will deem Yahweh unworthy of worship. I’ll be spitting “How dare you?!” at him, all Stephen Fry-esque. I would rather burn in hell than eternally worship such an abhorrent creature.)

Anyway, by the time I was participating in threads on MTS about religion, my husband and I had divorced, and I was probably ¾ of the way down the apostasy slope. At that point, I was still calling myself a Christian but a heretical one, and until about a year ago or so I called myself a Deist because while I could no longer in good conscience call myself a Christian, even a heretical one, there were things that I clung to that I did not want to let go of. Mostly because of “personal experiences” that made me want to think there was a God of some kind. But about a year ago or so, I finally let it all go, to make a long story short, and it was an enormous weight off my shoulders. I’m now comfortable with being publicly truthful about what I am, no longer fearing the “A” word.

That being said, although I have great antipathy for Yahweh himself, I don’t hate Christians or people of any religion. Nor will I “preach atheism.” At least, not here. ;) So, if you’re a Christian or other theist, fear not. I will probably be no more or less of a godless heathen on this particular blog than I have been before. I am, however, considering making an atheist-themed personal sideblog or something, which I would use to occasionally wax anti-apologetic and whatnot. In general, I think it’s important for American atheists, especially, to be “out” if they can be, because America is highly religious, particularly in certain areas, and people who are not with that program need community, especially if they’ve been ostracized by friends/family over their lack of belief. Not to mention the creeping fingers of Christian dominionism in our current government, with things like “religious freedom” bills and the Congressional “Freedom Caucus” and Project Blitz and such, all of which needs to be fought tooth and nail. But…I don’t know that I have the energy for another blog. We’ll see, I guess.

Oh! One last thing. Yes, I did indeed keep my marriage vows post-divorce. Christianity aside, I take serious vows…well, seriously. :) So, although we divorced, I did not sleep with anyone else until my first husband died. I almost didn’t even date anyone else, though current husband and I started dating about 4 months before my first husband died of pancreatic cancer, which at least was after I knew he was terminal and in hospice care. So, yeah, I was celibate for ~17 years. Call me weird, if you wish, but…Well, I take vows seriously. It’s just how I am.

[garethito]

Today is the 26th of May, 2019. This is one of the most important dates in my life, because I am celebrating the 1st anniversary of the best moment in my entire football fan life, which happened one year ago, today.

26th May, 2018. Oh, how much this day means to me. The day in which I saw history being written by my idol, Gareth Frank Bale, the day I saw him be the player who had the best performance in an UCL Final, by scoring what is, for me personally, the best goal in the history of football, and an incredible long shot goal.

I would like to start by saying that there is nothing that could ever come close to that night. Absolutely nothing. I have never witnessed something like that before, and I don't think I will again, I don't think anything will ever come close to this, unless Gareth scores a hattrick in the World Cup Final or something, lol. This is something I intend to tell my grandchildren about, this is something that nobody could ever understand how much I cherish, this is something that will be in my memory for eternity.  I think about that night every single day of my life, and I have seen those goals billions of times. Never in my entire life have I been so surprised, shocked, happy, proud, astonished. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 1 year ago. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I have ever shedded.

For me, it wasn't an ordinary Saturday. I wasn't getting prepared to do my homework, or to have a normal day. I was preparing for the Champions League Final. ”Real Madrid vs Liverpool”, ”UCL final is today!” were the subjects in everyone's conversations. We were on the way to write very important history that day, we were to be crowned Champions of Europe for the 13th time, for the 4th time in 5 years and for the 3rd time in a row. And boy, did we write history that night. La Decimotercera. Even the mere name sounds like the prettiest trophy name to me, a symbol of our history and of the fact that we are the best team in the whole world. This remains my favorite Champions League Final, La Decima being the close second.

I was so scared, of course, it's a freaking Champions League Final! And I feel like as years go by, I get more and more scared of the Champions League. But, I was also very excited because duuuh, it's a Champions League Final, lol! My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I don't need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zidane 2018 situation, because I think everyone knows it too well by now and my opinion on it. I had never been so enraged in my entire life (up until then at least, wait for another year @me lmao). After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. This whole situation really, really angered me, and I was so freaking disappointed. He SO deserved to play until the start, I thought. But, coming to think about it, maybe he wouldn't have done what he did if he had played from the start? He himself admitted that what he did was hugely based on his anger. So, in a way, I am grateful he was a substitute. That was even more amazing for him, because he did THAT while being a substitute, which is way more impressive!

The match started. Both Real Madrid and Liverpool were going at it. The first half was eventful, because there was that whole Sergio – Mo Salah drama, and poor Carva also got injured, but thank God he managed to play in the World Cup!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism honestly grew. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we would win.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzema's goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was I was the happiest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpool's equalizer came. I didn't think anything of it. I wouldn't get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go. 

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

But I could only think for 2 minutes. Because, 63:01 came. That moment. The one that takes it all. The creme de la creme of moments. The moment in which my soul definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived as a football fan. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much because of unfair decisions that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. In My Life. No exaggeration. Surely, for everyone that moment was a shock, because literally no one, not even me, expected him to score such a goal, considering the situation. But what I felt in those moments cannot be explained with words. In this 1 year, since this moment has happened, I have been trying to find suitable words to describe how I felt during those moments, but still, to this day, I cannot find words to describe my feelings. My idol had the best moment of his career, so even to say that I was the happiest, proudest person on the entire planet is an understatement. I literally felt like I reached Heaven. I had never started crying so fast in my entire life, and I had never cried that much in my entire life. And, as if that wasn't enough, 82:43 came. And he scored ANOTHER goal, this time a long shot. And in that moment, I literally died lmao. I was definitely the proudest person alive, the happiest and the most full of love. Like, can you imagine this? Your idol has arguably the best season at Real Madrid, but gets disrespected in the UCL by the coach. He then comes and gets his revenge in the final, and puts in the best performance ever in an UCL final. It's something that these simple words can't describe, your mind goes crazy and that's the only thing you think about forever basically lol. AND, he almost got a hattrick! But he was dispossesed at the last second, unfortunately.

And then?

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I... I don't have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I don't even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu... of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Thank you, Gareth Bale, for being the incredible person that you are and for blessing the world with such a performance.

Thank you, Real Madrid, for being the best club in the world and for blessing the world with such a performance.

26th of May, 2018. Forever in my heart.

Hala Gareth y Madrid Y Nada Mas! ♥

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 173: Campus Tour

Previously on BnHA: Class A hashed out everyone’s roles for the upcoming band performance/dance party. Momo wound up on keyboard, Jirou is doing vocals in addition to bass, and Kaminari and Tokoyami will be playing guitar. A staging team was also assembled, consisting of Aoyama, Sero, Kirishima, Kouda, and Shouto. And the rest of class A (as well as Aoyama again, for some reason) will be on the dance team. The next day Deku went to meet with All Might. He explained that he could only maintain 20% OFA for a short while and that it wasn’t enough to beat Overhaul and he needed some sort of long distance attack. All Might was all “then LET’S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, SON”, and they went out to the forest and he had Deku activate 20% OFA and do a cool wind attack and fuck up some trees! And long story short, basically Deku has to learn how to utilize 20% OFA in just his hands rather than in full cowl, so that way he can whip out the wind attack whenever he wants without putting too much strain on himself. Having settled that, we then fast-forwarded one month later to the day of the cultural fest, (ETA: nope) with Mirio bringing Eri to U.A.

Today on BnHA: Mirio and Deku take Eri on a fun tour of U.A. to help her get a little more familiar with the place before the chaos and commotion of the festival. During the course of their wanderings they first come across the members of class B who are constructing the set and props for the fantasy play they’ll be doing in the festival. They then stop by to greet Hadou (who’s running for Miss Con which is basically a beauty pageant thing) and Tamaki before heading down to the support department, where they ooh and ahh at Mei’s cool giant robot. Finally they take a breather in the cafeteria and ask Eri what she thinks. She says she’s not sure, but since everyone is trying their hardest, she wants to see how it will turn out. The kids take that as a win, and Rat Principal -- who is sitting at a table nearby -- says that he’s excited too. We have a brief flashback to a meeting he had with the Commissioner General, who wanted U.A. to cancel the event. Rat Principal begged him to reconsider, saying that he felt it was necessary for the students. In the end they got the okay, on the stipulation that if the security is breached or the alarm goes off for any reason, the event will immediately be called off and evacuated. Back in the present, Deku bids Eri farewell, and one week later Mina abruptly boots him off of the dance team.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 199 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

did these motherfuckers really just spell Kacchan as Ka-chan

(ETA: the Jaimini’s Box translations have had a lot of issues lately so I’ve mostly been sticking to Mangastream now)

also [whips out nerd glasses] according to the U.A. class schedule from the databook, the kids in fact do not have Saturdays off, typically. though maybe they have this specific Saturday off? since they said the temporary license course group also had a break

anyways, these guys are lucky that I’m in a super good mood and don’t feel like nitpicking too much BECAUSE!

IIDA MOTHERFUCKING TENYA HAS HIT THE DANCE FLOOR Y’ALL

I’m going to create a new folder on my PC right now just for pictures of Iida dancing. once it is full I will post them all, and then whenever I am sad all I’ll have to do is go back and look at that post

(ETA: oh yeah I still need to do that at some point lol. when the going gets tough, remember Dancing Iida)

also it appears that Aoyama has fully jumped ship to the dance team, because the staging team is just Shouto, Sero, Kiri, and Kouda now

meanwhile Mirio is hiding in the bushes plotting some sort of hilarious entrance!

BUT HE HAS BEEN SPOTTED

DAMMIT DEKU

also! I figured that since Eri was there, it must be the day of the festival! but I guess it isn’t! which means he’s brought Eri to hang out with all of her class A sibs early! WHICH MEANS THIS IS GOING TO BE MY FAVORITE CHAPTER OF ALL TIME, ISN’T IT

MIRIO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I’m crying sob help

lmao Ojiro is all IS THAT SENPAI’S KID?? as though that’s somehow the ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION. not his little sister, not his cousin, not even Aizawa’s kid despite him also being right there. nope. this must be Toogata Mirio’s illegitimate child

(ETA: Mangastream version just says “is that his kid” which makes me think he is in fact referring to Aizawa, which makes a lot more sense but is less hilarious though.)

Ochako and Tsuyu are immediately complimenting Eri’s fucking adorable outfit, which is 100% the correct reaction. FOR FUCK’S SAKE. HER FIRST TIME WEARING SHOES AND THEY GOT HER THE CUTEST FUCKING BOOTS IN THE WORLD. and the little kid purse that matches her outfit. I can’t

Mirio is now hauling himself out from the bushes dejectedly while Aizawa explains that they got permission from the principal to let her visit

apparently the principal quite rightly said that Eri should visit on a quieter day first so she could get used to being around people since she’s been cut off from society until now and they don’t want her to get overwhelmed

and she is indeed shyly running back to Mirio and taking his hand

so now Iida’s coming up to introduce himself

...and Mineta is officially being the MOST cancelled he’s ever been, holy fucking shit. usually I just ignore his crap, but jesus. “I’m looking forward to meeting you again in ten years!” he says. to a six-year-old. how the fuck is that funny. can’t Aizawa just fucking expel his ass already. can we just delete him already please. god

(ETA: it’s even worse coming right off of 172 where he was much more tolerable than usual. one step forward, ten million steps back. took so many fucking steps backward he went and tumbled off a fucking cliff good grief)

ugh. anyway, so Mirio’s asking Deku if he wants to come with them

they’re going to walk around U.A. with Eri and give her the tour I guess

EYYYYY

I was just thinking to myself, it didn’t seem right that all of the other interns got to say hi and not him!

omg

HE’S KIRISHIMA! YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND!

now they should go take her to watch the band practice because I want her to meet Bakugou. I just do. it could go very good or very bad but either way, I’m all in

(ETA: am I the only one who wants this?? I agree with the anon who said a while back that we have been robbed of Shouto+Eri interactions, but also! Bakugou Katsuki, who recently leveled up and got his babysitting certification! Bakugou, who would be so awkward around her, but supposing there was ever a crisis situation though? he would be super gruff and he’d tell her not to worry and that he won’t let anything happen to her and that if any villains try to start some shit he’ll kick their ass. Bakugou who wouldn’t be at all intimidated by her quirk and would think it’s badass. Bakugou who also knows what it’s like to be held prisoner by villains, even if it was only for a short while and under very different circumstances. idk you guys I just think there’s a lot of potential there and I’d love to see it. my list of people who I want to see interacting with Eri is getting fairly long by this point. and for that matter, Aizawa himself is on that fucking list too because even though he’s been acting as her guardian, it’s usually Mirio and Deku who interact with her directly.)

why are these weirdos putting their uniforms back on

is there some rule that you have to be in uniform whenever you’re at school or what

(ETA: actually this is probably the case since everyone else also has either their regular or gym uniforms on)

anyway, they’re running across some third years from the business department, and they seem to know Mirio and they’re saying hi

why is everyone on this damn campus jumping to this conclusion lmao

(ETA: and this time the MS translation is making the same joke. I think)

they’re handing out program fliers to him and Deku and telling them to come visit during the festival

oh dang

holy shit. they’re really going all out. even for something like a culture festival, U.A. don’t play

EYYYYYYYYY

I love that Monoma appears to be standing up on tiptoes to peek at them excitedly. “FUCK YEAH TIME TO INDULGE IN MY FAVORITE PASTIME”

Deku’s asking Eri if she’s okay as though he’s not the one who nearly had a heart attack just now

she says she thought it was the “falling lady”, referring to Ryuukyuu. oh my god. so fucking cute I’m gonna die

(ETA: the notion that Eri’s lasting impression of Ryuukyuu is as the giant dragon that came busting through the roof just tickles me so fucking much you guys)

Monoma is declaring war as usual

WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT, FRIEND

oh my god

“completely original”

this is the best joke ever if this translation is accurate. please be accurate. class B you are giving me life right now

(ETA: you bet it’s accurate. and since this is the future, THIS SHIT IS ALL IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN NOW, Y’ALL. so put those lawyers away and prepare yourselves for the fantasy epic of a lifetime)

Awase is knocking him out and apologizing because Kendou wasn’t there so “he went unchecked”

OH MY GOD

HE’S RUNNING FOR MISS CON. THIS WHOLE ARC TRULY IS HORIKOSHI’S TENDER, LOVING APOLOGY FOR THAT HALLWAY OF BULLSHIT

(ETA: yet another mistranslation from Jaimini but CAN YOU IMAGINE THOUGH. but yeah, obviously what he’s actually saying is that Kendou is running)

Deku’s still shocked and says Aizawa didn’t say a single word to them about Miss Con. probably because he wasn’t able to mention it to you all at a time when Mineta was conveniently out of the room

(ETA: and also because it’s the least rational thing in the world and he will be DAMNED if his kids get caught up in that nonsense when they have more important things to be doing)

Mirio is apologizing to Eri for “suddenly showing you U.A.’s bad side” lmao

look at his face though

“I’m sorry Eri. Monoma was acting like a cotton-headed ninny muggins”

EYYYYYYYYYYY

she’s got it in the bag this year for sure

she’s floating over to say hi!

IS THAT TAMAKI WITH THE CAMERA??

Deku is so flustered he can’t even make eye contact. U.A.’s very own awkward bi icon

Hadou’s saying that she’s never won and that there’s a girl in the class G support team who beats her every year

in a world of quirks, it occurs to me that even lashes like this might legitimately be “maybe she’s born with it” and not automatically “maybe it’s maybelline”

EYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GOOD OL’ TAMAKI

Hadou is smiling and saying that this year she’ll definitely win

I’m amazed and pleased that she hasn’t started asking Eri inappropriate questions. even she can respect boundaries when it’s important! UNLIKE SOME CANCELLED PURPLE FUCKS

ohhh snap now they’re stopping by the development studio

okay now this looks more like what I was expecting the last time we saw this place

CAN ONE OF YOU GENIUSES PLEASE BUILD SOMETHING TO RESCUE TONY STARK. HE IS STRANDED IN SPACE

Mirio says they’re preparing for the technology exhibition that they hold every year. apparently it gets a lot of media attention

oh here we go

eyyyyyyyyy

so she’s showing off her latest giant robot, and they’re acting appropriately impressed. everyone loves giant robots

she says that for the hero department, the sports festival is where they garner attention. but now their department gets to be the main attraction

although, given the type of attention the sports festival garnered, you might want to reconsider being so pleased about that

also, didn’t Aizawa say that this year’s festival would be more lowkey due to all the shit that’s gone down recently? I mean, that’s the plan, anyway. apparently we’re going to be invaded by a gentlevillain so we’ll see how that actually goes

oh shit, Mei’s robot just blew the fuck up

“AGAIN”

HEY EVERYONE! IT’S A SINGLE PANEL OF THE TENTH MOST POPULAR CHARACTER, SHINSOU

HEY’S STILL HERE. JUST FYI. STILL EXISTS. STILL POPULAR

(ETA: you guys I’m so excited I finally got to the part of the manga where Shinsou Does Stuff Again. you don’t even know)

so now they’re at the cafeteria and Eri’s sitting down with some juice

they’re asking what she thought and whether she thinks she’ll be comfortable at the festival

;_____;

she is so good so pure I love her please protect her always!!!

lmaooooo

ERI YOUR BROTHERS ARE HUGE FUCKING DORKS

OH MY GOD

WERE YOU TWO HERE THIS WHOLE TIME

Rat Principal says he’s also excited for the culture festival and that the students always do their best to create a good time for everyone

oh?

I’m so curious to hear more about U.A.’s behind the scenes struggles. dammit. Rat Principal always gotta keep a tight lid on gossip

now he’s walking off and telling them to enjoy the festival to their heart’s content

YESSSSS A FLASHBACK TO U.A.’S BEHIND THE SCENES STRUGGLES!!

LAY IT ON ME

well now we finally know who this guy is. this is the second time we’ve seen him; the first was right after All Might’s retirement

he’s not wrong. U.A. has been a magnet for trouble lately, and they have several students who are known targets of the League. not to mention a weakened All Might. basically another attack is probably inevitable at some point, and they don’t want to test fate, because if there is an attack and anything goes wrong, that’s probably it for the school and that’s the last thing they need. they desperately need this place to stay open

Rat Principal acknowledges that he’s right, but he says that he considers this event to be necessary for the kids

and that’s true also! they really need the morale boost right about now. they’ve had one hell of a year

Rat Principal, you’re really not so bad for a totally evil guy

so they apparently worked out an agreement, and have fortified security yet again, and if by any chance an alarm sounds -- even if it’s false -- they will immediately suspend activities and evacuate

back in the cafeteria, Midnight says that talk of class A’s program has even made it to the staff room, and she’s telling them to work hard

well of course class A was discussed in the staff room. I imagine they’re the number one subject of gossip most of the time no matter what

Eri’s asking what Deku’s class is doing, and he’s explaining that it’s going to be a dance party

this chapter cleared my skin and watered my crops you guys and it’s just the best

and now we’re cutting to one week later

LMAO

WE’RE SORRY MAN. YOU JUST DON’T GOT THE RHYTHM

ah well. at least he has an adorable little munchkin of a sibling whom he can now spend the day wandering the school with again, maybe. and beating back gentlevillains with his new finger cowl wind move

there is a bonus page but I’m short on time today to include it, so I’ll just throw it in there tomorrow instead! plus ultra!

[god-fucking-dammit-mizutani]

take me out (of this world)

Rating: G | Word Count: 2,100 Tags: Aliens, Fake Dating, Convention AU, Chat Logs, Pining, Tags to be added Chapters: 1 / ?

Oikawa Tooru just wants to eat something that isn’t Go-gurt, and maybe meet some of his online friends at the upcoming science fiction convention in town. If only life for a college student out on his own wasn’t so expensive. 

Or maybe if he had an underclassman who needed his help and might be willing to buy his dinner just long enough to save up for a weekend pass. Win/win, right? 

Blue skies sit far on the horizon. The sun  is strong this evening, breaking through even the thick rain clouds set overhead the gymnasium, it's vibrant beam giving the world an eery, orange glow. It's the first sign of daylight Oikawa's glimpsed after practice since the long, dark nights of winter had seemed to never want to leave.

Rain droplets slip down the length of Kageyama's bangs. He says nothing but, "Please!" again and again. "You're a persistent little prick," Oikawa sneers. He hears some of their teammates jittering about behind him, their footsteps damp and sloshing on the pavement. He hasn't bothered to learn all of their names just yet. Most of them will quit before the first semester ends. They're more preoccupied planning where to eat than to spare the two of them a glance, but Oikawa feels his cheeks heat regardless. "I need you to help me," Kageyama insists. Oikawa hears it, the distinct lack of the full request. It surprises him that Kageyama might have the ability to feel shame, even after chasing Oikawa out of the locker room and pinning him just outside the gymnasium. "Ask one of your friends." Kageyama looks upwards then. Rain slips down the chisel of his jaw, hesitates on the point of his chin before it falls indistinctly with the rest of the downpour. His lips pull back tightly, his face so pinched that Oikawa almost asks if he's constipated. "Oh my god," Oikawa exclaims under an excited breath. "You don't have any friends." "I do!" Kageyama shouts.

It feels like the world pauses for him to consider. "I do! I have—Hinata! And..." his voice lowers, this time his gaze fluttering back to the footpath. "Others," he finishes cryptically.

Oikawa laughs glibly. “I can't believe it!” Oikawa shifts, his shoes so damp from being stationary that they squish uncomfortably. He winces, but continues, “You don't have any friends, fuck!”

“Neither do you,” Iwaizumi says, tapping his shoulder on his way by. Kageyama stiffens up at the spine as Iwaizumi gives him a polite wave on his way past.

“I do, too, Iwachan!” Oikawa shouts at his back. “At least I have Kuroo!” he sticks out his tongue, even if Iwaizumi can't see him. Regardless, Iwaizumi just holds up his arm in a wave of dismissal.

“Sure do,” Kuroo slides up beside him. “Ready?” he asks, hiking his bag further up his shoulder.

“So you see,” Oikawa says, tilting his head back and to the side to stare Kageyama down from his nose, smiling as smugly as he can, “we must be on our way.” Water tickles down his neck, the drizzle never lightening around them. He pulls Kuroo along, pointedly keeping his eyes on the horizon. It's still bright and blue. “Bye, bye Tobio~!”

But before they pass, his wrist is grasped. Tight and warm is the hand around his skin, and Oikawa looks back.

“Please,” Kageyama pleads. His eyes are as brilliant as the far off sky and something clenches in Oikawa's chest. “Consider what I asked, Oikawa.” There's a fierceness to his voice, steadfastness in his gaze and it roots Oikawa to the pavement even as Kageyama scampers back towards the gym. At the door he seems to remember something and turns back, bowing at Oikawa and Kuroo before reentering.

“What was that about?” Kuroo asks.

He swallows. “Don't worry about it.“

The ring of Oikawa’s skin where Kageyama had held him remains warm the whole way home.

*****

“What's for dinner tonight?” Oikawa asks his fridge, already pulling open the door to the freezer. It takes some rummaging before Oikawa gets his prize: the very last of the Strawberry Splash Go-gurt he'd hidden behind the ice maker. He makes sure to shove it immediately into the pocket of his hoodie as soon as it breaches past the door, checking to make sure his roommate hadn't materialized in the room while his attention had been elsewhere. Kuroo would be cross if he knew.

Once he's tucked safely in his own room, door locked, Oikawa savors his meal. The bed's mattress sinks under his weight when he kneels on it, the springs long since dead. It's been that way since he and Kuroo fished it from the apartment complex’s trash, but if visitors assume it’s from his own exploits, well, Oikawa’s not in the business of correcting them. 

He sits up on his haunches to reach the window's latch, rolling the glass open to let some air into the room. Petrichor seeps in through the mesh screen. Oikawa stays by the window, breathes it in deeply. It’s pleasant. The cold season had left his room smelling stale, even when it felt like winter had been invited in through porous drafts.

Oikawa leans until the wires rest against his forehead, pushing only enough to feel as if there were nothing even there, but not enough to dislodge the screen.

Outside is still vibrant and hazy, the drizzle having followed him home, lazily pelting the sidewalk and passersby. Oikawa watches a lady across the way stop to let her dog sniff, a reddish, stout breed Oikawa doesn't know the name of. His eyes droop over the mundanity, fat droplets plopping at his sill almost enough of a lullaby that it begs him to take an early evening nap with the light chill of sun showers as his blanket. He rolls the very ends of the Go-gurt tube up inch by inch, until the wad of it rolls up under his nose.

By his feet on his bed, his laptop chimes.

Then again.

Oikawa stares at the screensaver, leaning back on one hand, the empty Go-gurt tube clutched between his teeth. It rings again with several messages before he decides against his nap and slides off his back legs, pulling the laptop onto his thighs. Oikawa shoulders himself back into a nest of pillows at the headboard of his bed, the pull dislodging his charger from the docking port. He drops the remnants of dinner into the nearby trash can, burying it under an old magazine already tossed away. Just in case.

He closes the full screen of the movie he'd fallen asleep to last night. Behind it, the group chat explodes with new messages, zipping down the box faster than Oikawa can read.

defenderoftheoatmeal: I heard they got that dude who directed the last Godzilla movie for a panel this year.

pacificrimjob: !!!!!!

pacificrimjob: i have to buy my badge still…….

SuperWhoLock420: prices go up next week

BigFootBigHeart: Better do it soon

BigFootBigHeart: ^^

defenderoftheoatmeal: lol

Spacegrl: we should find time to meet up

defenderoftheoatmeal: Oooooh

Spacegrl: we can discuss when the schedule is finalized

Spacegrl: but maybe that saturday?

It takes some shuffling back through his tabs before Oikawa finds the official con’s site. He frowns. The badge prices already make him feel woozy. It's about seven boxes of lunch and dinner-- if he doesn't split the price with Kuroo.

A message pops up in the top right of the screen, another chime from his laptop speakers accompanying it. Oikawa glances at the screen name and breathes a laugh through his nose. Clicking it brings him to another chat room.

m1lkyway: have you gotten your pass yet

Oikawa taps at the keys pensively.

cryptidfckr: no

cryptidfckr: im debating if the con is more important than eating

m1lkyway: oh

m1lkyway: idk

M1lkyway: sorry.

He huffs another laugh. His stomach gurgles, perhaps chiming in on their conversation with it's own protest, but Oikawa ignores it.

cryptidfckr:too bad im not a girl

cryptidfckr: itd be easier to find an idiot willing to date me

cryptidfckr: just for someone like me i mean

cryptidfckr: and then id never worry about food again

cryptidfckr: lol

He taps back over to the main group chat. The conversation has since picked up, the rest of his online friends filtering in from work or university. Little side chats start diverting throughout the group, some talking about upcoming films they're excited about, others discussing the latest recommendation.

Oikawa settles in deeper to his pillow bundle, grabbing deftly for the blanket around his ankles. It is still far too early when the sun dips below the horizon. The next time Oikawa looks up from his laptop, the world is dark save for the lights dotting every few windows of the building across the street. The rain has picked up, boisterous sounding now that he can no longer see it.

His laptop dings and Oikawa looks back.

m1lkyway: they would be lucky to date you

Oikawa's toes curl.

cryptidfckr: lmao  

cryptidfckr: too kind

m1lkyway: im sure you get asked out all the time

He stiffens. The memory of Kageyama, bright blue eyes gleaming through a hazy, sun-filled smog, makes his chest feel tight. He'd been so brazen, unyielding. Not entirely an undesirable trait. Oikawa frowns. He had asked him out-- in some, deluded sort of way.

Oikawa runs his tongue along the bottom of his lip.

cryptidfckr: not much since high school

cryptidfckr: the type of girls who would date me aren’t into monster flicks and scifi

cryptidfckr: not too many guys want to deal with me

cryptidfckr: always ends up they feel like they're competing with me

cryptidfckr: or against girls

cryptidfckr: And not actually dating me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

m1lkyway: ah

Kageyama would probably be a bad boyfriend. Worse than himself, Oikawa thinks. He tightens his fist above the keyboard. Gruff and stubborn. Single minded and adorably simple. He'd be the worst and so Oikawa can see, can understand why Kageyama had been so adamant.

He relaxes his fingers, tugs back on each of them until the knuckles crack satisfyingly. His earlier fatigue has eased into a crackle of energy. It'll be a long night.

m1lkyway: would you like to watch another movie with me tonight?

Oikawa breathes in. He releases the breath through puckered lips.

cryptidfckr: i heard santa claus conquers the martians is awful

cryptidfckr: so itll be great

m1lkyway: cant wait

m1lkyway: *link*

Oikawa resettles himself on his side while the link loads up in his browser. He makes to replug his charger back in before propping himself up enough to type.

cryptidfckr: okay

cryptidfckr: 3…

cryptidfckr: 2…

cryptidfckr: 1….

In the morning, rain has given way to a cloudless sky. Oikawa rises to his screensaver playing; old faces from high school smiling back at him.

The groupchat is still open when he clicks past last night's third movie, his last few goodbyes still at the bottom. But there's an unread message on the side in his private chat that Oikawa doesn't remember seeing before his eyes had felt too heavy to keep open.

m1lkyway: just read theyll be playing house (1977) at x-con

m1lkyway: it would be great if we could see it together

And so Oikawa makes a decision.

But not about breakfast. He glowers at the last few packages of the Berry Blast Go-gurt still left in the box in their freezer. When he turns around, Kuroo grins at him, mouth pressed around a very distinctly red trimmed tube of Strawberry Splash.

“I have my secrets, too,” he says.

“Asshole.”

*****

He finds Kageyama by the locker room door, tying up his shoe laces. Oikawa wonders if they're too new to just slip on the way he does his own. He tries his best to tower over the other, the arch of his neck straining. Oikawa rests a volleyball on the swell of his hip, pinning it there with only the weight of his wrist, slurping up the tailend of his breakfast. "Okay," he says. Kageyama looks up at him, any sense of recognition infuriatingly missing in his stare.  "If I said you had a goldfish memory," Oikawa tuts, "it'd be an insult to the fish." Kageyama scowls up at him. The jut of his bottom lip is prominent and Oikawa swallows the word Neanderthal back down his throat. "Your request," Oikawa pushes, rolling the ball up his waist and then letting it slip back down to pin against his hip. "I'm agreeing to it." There it is, Oikawa thinks when the spark of excitement flashes in Kageyama’s eyes, the other jumping to his feet as if gravity didn’t apply to him. Oikawa holds a finger up before he can be interrupted. Kageyama goes adorably crosseyed to stare it down. "I have one condition~" he lilts, reaching for his cellphone trapped under his waistband. He flips the top open, then snaps it back shut, shooting Kageyama his most devilish smile. Kageyama looks up at him. "First, I need you to ask me again," he smiles. Kageyama looks baffled and he adds, "but you to have to do it exactly like yesterday."

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

11/15/19 3:33am - goin home, trying new things

So the trip home to see the family was wonderful. Actually I spent a little too long watching TV before leaving and waiting for the gas guy to turn on the heat, so I left a little late and was damn near passing out on the drive over. Had to stop a few times to nap, but made it. Got caught up on The Adventure Zone again. I’m really excited for this new story they’re gonna do, it’s like Harry Potter meets My Hero Academia. Pretty fuckin neato.

But yeah I got there had a beer with my mom and went to the game and froze my fucking BALLS off watching taven play football. ugh jesus. And the poor guys were against a team like 4 times bigger than them, I swear they didn’t get double digit offensive yardage. They’d get an offsides call and start first and 5, hand off the ball to taven three times in a row and he’d pick up 1 yard, 1 yard, -2 yards, and they’d punt it away again. I don’t think I saw a single first down lol. Taven got hurt so we left in the fourth, they were down 77-0 with 10 minutes left -_-

But still, good to see him play lol. It wasn’t about watching a win, it was about being there for him on his birthday. Fuck that sucks though lol. I always hated playing in the cold. 

Most of the weekend I hung out with wes at his and jenny’s place. We did hang out with mom and the fam for a bonfire on saturday, I ate as much guac as I could fit in my face, we had a couple beers, made some fires. It was sweet. Then we played some super metroid before I started passing out.

Sunday wes and I beat the game and went to breakfast. My dad wasn’t around so I drove out to visit JMell in NoVa instead. His place is pretty nice, and we mostly watched some funny youtube videos. Good ol Rack Em Willie and other crackhead vids and this guy Super Sus and general nonsense. Couldn’t go crazy because I needed to make it back for work.

So I drove back. Made it to Jill’s at 2 and she helped keep me awake until I needed to get ready for work because I picked up a daytime shift from 7 to 5. And I slogged through that just fine. Got a raise at work, but like the bare minimum, but I’llll fucking take it. It’s been the exact same as every other time I got a raise I think lmfao. A little extra pocket cash to throw at new toys is nothing to scoff at, though, I need another butt plug and stuff lmfao. 

I was supposed to roll from there to durham to watch the new rick and morty, but I passed out and overslept by an hour instead. fucking hate when my bodily needs get in the way of me trying to hang out with people for 48 hours straight, yknow? Sucks.

But I went to slosh still, had a lovely chill time. Made plans to go home to Jill but ended up bouncing to another bar with a bunch of people there and drank for another hour. Got me in a little hot water, but whatever. Worth it I think lol. I just can’t help myself from hanging out with as many people as long as possible. 

Jill and I woke up at like 2 and hung out most of the day just fucking around watching tv. I bailed to go run some errands and do karaoke. Had to get some epoxy so I could put together my butt plug tail. I finally knocked that out this evening before work, I think it turned out great. Gotta try it out soon :3

But karaoke was quiet. Not a lot of people came out because it was like bitter cold and windy and had been raining all day. So on the plus side I got to sing like five songs. On the downside, I didn’t get to flirt with any new people lolol. An old stripper friend I had made there, Kellene, showed up and we talked about how I was in her dream the night before and chit chatted a bit. Got to sing a little together, I love her fucking voice. But at the end of the night she asked me for some money to help pay for her tab. I was like sure and gave her $8, she said I was sweet asked if I wanted to do anything with her I was like huwhaaa I guess? maybe we make out somewhere? Idk. Then she roams the room around and comes back and asks me for money again and I was like dude I gave you everything in my wallet, you have my $8 right there in your hand. And she says “no this is my $8 I got it from my purse,” while she opens her purse and pulls the rest of the money she needs out of it. I was like... pretty flabbergasted. Like not like floored, more still amused than anything. Drunk people are funny.

Also after I sang some Drake my beautiful bartender Jaime said I should sing Frank Ocean. Killed it singing self control, and she like held my hands and said I love you like she has the past couple weeks. I made a slight mistake and let my curiosity get the better of me. It’s definitely a rule of mine to not ask girls who are working out, but I was just like “look I know this is a little inapprop, but would you want to go out sometime?” and she says “yeah, as friends, definitely.” and I’m like oooooof. She had to take care of another customer so I just walked away from that one. Glad I cleared that up though I really thought she was being flirty and cutesy but I’m just a knucklehead. Could’ve been worse lmfao. 

Anyway, went home with Jill, we hung out all day again watching this mediocre 911 show. Kinda fun at points though. It was mostly nice just chilling with her early since I’d blown her off til really late a couple times in a row. 

Then spice was last night and ho. my. god. It was the normal confection of watching people get beat, not meeting as people this time around because I knew a whole bunch of people that were there already. But I did meet a few. Hung out with the cute boy from the fashion show for a while. We have these like really awkward pauses in conversation though where he doesn’t like ask me anything and I run out of things to say but he’s just staring at me and grinning so intently. Idk, man.  Lol. I was supposed to do a scene that I had talked out with someone, but they unfortunately called in sick. So I thought I wasn’t gonna do anything, but then I ended up chit chatting with Neko and he offered to beat on me that night.

Wowowoww bottoming a REAL impact scene was intense. Like IN. TENSE. like I was thinking about tapping out a few times from the pain of it, but then he’d take a break and scratch me or rub my back and it would just feel so gooooood. By the end I was taking these hits in the back and like shivering with excitement/adrenaline/idk what. He like threw his thigh between my legs while I was up on the cross to support me and started rubbing my back and bit my shoulder and hnnnnng. god I just started lightly scratching and chewing on his arm. I was literally in uncontrollable shivers and giggles afterward, it was actually probably too much lol but I lovvvved it. I feel like I really Get it now. Especially as I sit on my ass covered in bruises today lol. Then my friend Bun squish cuddled me until I came back down to normalcy. Maya and Jill came to watch, actually, they got to see it happen so that was kinda rad. Jill wanted to go dancing at alchemy afterward but I was like no fucking way could I dance after taking that lol. So I drug them out to boxcar with me and we played some galaga and skee ball and foosball and tekken. Me and Jill almost got a shutout on Maya+some rando, and then the randos were like nahhhh so I beat Jill+Maya 2v1. We played again later and I lost the set though. But I was dressed up as a kitty all through boxcar lol, kinda neat. We stayed up til 6am just watching Daria and ranodm youtube shit. 

Slept a long time, almost had a weird fight with Jill, smoothed that over, took a bath for a few hours and I’ve been working. Excited to get off though, but not for any reason in particular. Just fuck work I guess? lol.

I really felt like I needed to write about that impact scene while it was fresh. It’s kinda stuck in my head. :3 

I’ve got emo karaoke in a few days, should be a lot of fun. <3 nothing too exciting coming up though. Having to schedule a bunch of extra work days to appease my boss kinda suckkssss but whatever I’ll take the money lol.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Robert Hight

The first weekend that he broke Matt's record I was just waiting for Matt to break it. Matt's been making me crazy cause he just hangs out at the tree like he's texting at the stop light or something... that's all I gotta say about that. 339 is a huge jump... So to get that -- it's difficult for Matt. I know Matt's issues while driving but he's in. And habit hard to break. To be honest he's gotta work a long time practicing to get out of the way he drives. I'm not gonna sit here and write it out it's obvious. Let's move forward... So... Friday night Robert nearly got his ass beat. There was a huge to do because Robert was taunting me. I haven't said a word to anyone about Robert. The only only thing that I've said is that I think that Matt can beat the record that Robert set. That is all that I said and I wrote that in Sugar's Twitter So Friday night he started taunting me and Matt told him to stop. The FBI told him to stop. It went on for over an hour so Matt went over to their teepee and got John Force to understand what Robert was doing. So John Force finally was able to stop it. Because Robert does not respect anyone. He's a disrespectful little bastard. So after John and Matt got him by the neck he started to be nice to me. I still just ignored him. So then last night he started his shit again. I had already said what I thought about his breaking the 3.8 barrier. I said that Dejoria was the first one to break 4.o so as far as I see it, he's it any better than Dejoria We all know what I say about Dejoria. And I have not always said anything nice about her. In fact I've described her character in-depth and I don't believe any if it was positive until the last six months. And I've been on about her for YEARS. So just because he broke a barrier it doesn't mean that he's some God or some Braniac or someone to look up to. So I say that yet I admire Matt very much so for breaking barriers and being the first and making history. I'm saying that it's my choice to. I can make my own choices about who I want to admire and when. I choose not to admire Robert Hight. I fully believe he masterminded and swindled and talked his way into the Force Home. I don't believe he truly loves his wife. I dont. I think he just basically fucked his way into the top of the Funny Car NHRA. Who would not want to be in with John Force? He was champion for a decade back to back back to back back to back. I think Robert Hight's eyes lit up with greed and he did whatever he could to get in with John Force. Anything he could. And I think he does anything to stay with him. I don't think that John Force is a Mr Magoo. All blind and dumb and stupid. I think that John Force uses his heart and thinks with it more often than his brain. He lives in a highly competitive world where everything is cut throat and there's so so so much greed. I think he needs to love. He needs to trust. He needs to have a world that is kind. I think he should had shielded his heart and Family more. And his business as well. Especially since that's what Robert Hight wants most. And he has it. He's president. Matt has been in love with me his whole life. I was the first person to show him love. True patience, worry, kindness. The first person that could give that without being demanding or mean or evil. I'm not Robert Hight. I will never be Robert Hight. So what he holds a record. But when that littl pansy ass crybaby bitch dies. He ain't getting into Heaven. He will be lucky to retain memories of the good feelings that he got when he broke records. So let Robert Hight hold a record for a minute. It's the lamest and most pathetic thing that he is. That's all he is. A title. A title doesn't make a man. Matt Hagan at two years old told me he was a man. I was literally scared to death of him absolutely terrified. He knew what he wanted and what he wanted was me. I was scared to death and to this day 32 --- THIRTY-TWO years later, my hands still shake and my heart goes out of control beating from that memory that he told me that he loved me. I was so scared of love. Love wasn't real. Love made people do things. I didn't understand love. I was powered by love. I was absolutely powered by love and I cared to the deepest of my being. I was taught how to love. I was taught how to care. So he told me, he knew I loved and he loved me back and he wanted to keep my love forever. The deepest and most terrifying feeling, you can never ever feel, never imagine how scary it is, until you've felt it is the wonder if you can life until the end of time. If you can every single time perfectly execute caring, kindness, love, generosity. I guess you could say that Matt was ultimately terrible to me. Absolutely horrible to have that desire. That desire to be treated right and to have love forever. From me. I held him when he cried because someone else hurt him so bad that he has the deepest scars anyone has ever seen. I didn't believe that I could hurt him that same way. But despite his trust in me, he was afraid I would. And that made me want to melt into a puddle and die. Someone did it once. Why wouldn't it happen again? So obviously. Someone breaking his world record is nothing. Not a dam thing when he's thrown his heart in the middle of the floor and dared me to squish it. Told me it would break. But that he would still love me. He will break Robert Hight's record. Probably. Most definitely if he stays a Nitro Funny Car driver. I have absolutely no doubt that he will. What if he doesn't? You know what? He's talking about saving the lives of cows, deer and other animals. He's talking about carrying me because it's too painful for to walk. Talks about carrying me to the toilet. I'm 36 years old and he's like I want you to live past 80. And so that's a very long time for him to use me as a gym. It's obvious, the way that Matt Hagan has been driving this 2017 year that he really just does not give a shit about Robert stupid fucking Hight. He's got enough Wallys to make me a dildo a year for 20 years. So really. Who the fuck cares when you know he's gonna be using his dick? Point is that Robert doesn't care about anyone. Robert doesn't care about love. He doesn't have any of the values that John Force believed he had. John Force had to TEACH HIM LOVE. I actually like Robert Hight. On TV. He's got a great fun personality. But because he's been so busy hiding his personal (evil) agenda, he can't see real things. He can't see how people really are. Because he's been so busy hiding himself. Being fake. Trying to reach the top to be the bacon when he is just slop the pig eats. So maybe. Maybe just like Dejoria when she broke the 4.0 maybe he finally broke his own shell that made him a piece of shit ass hole. Luckily for him, John Force has an awkward and shy but huge and loving heart and spirit. Because if John wasn't so amazing then Robert Hight wouldn't be able to learn and to change and to become the type of person that deserves to hold a record. I hadn't said anything about Robert breaking the record. Because silence is golden. Everyone loves a nice quiet Sunday dinner when no one has to say a goddam word but be able to live in peace and Harmony. So I said nothing. I told Matt I hoped he would break it back because I believe he deserves to have it and no one else. That's exactly what I said. I'm sure Robert over heard as I can't stop him from spying. but I didn't say it for Robert. I said it for myself. I said it for Matt. But maybe Matt didn't even want to hear it... He wanted to hear me say those words but maybe that's all he wanted. He didn't want to break it. He just wanted to hear me say I think he deserves something absolutely amazing that everyone knows about. Maybe. So I didn't say anything about Robert that was negative. Things I think and feel. Things I think that will start a war and bull shit and make Robert mad. Because when Robert gets mad, he's disgusting. Absolutely furious and if you ask me is just a waste of carbon dioxide, oxygen and water. He deserves nothing but maggots out his eyes. His temper. It's disgusting And it's mostly disgusting Because he lies. And he thinks he can beat me. He thinks he can break me. He started a war with me. But I'm not playing. Because it's not a cold war. Everyone can see from his attitude how absolutely disgusting he is. They can tell from his temper he's a piece of shit. Don Schumacher is a different story. That's straight up cold war Russian spy. Like how Robert used to be before he became a spoiled brat. Like Denise. All I'm good I'm a good person then when you close the office door. It gets dirty. Disgusting and terrifying. So. I didn't say anything. I asked him to leave me alone very nicely and calmly on Friday. I told the FBI that he needed to leave me alone and so several stood between me and him. Robert wanted to pick and fight so they did the whole thing. I don't like that shit. It's stupid. I'm not going to talk to an arrogant jerk. I'll win but goddam I'll get so exhausted I will cry. (Not with Don tho) I'm sick. I very very very sick. My kidneys are on their way out and I didn't even know. I just found out... I knew they were hurting but I thought it was something else entirely. So idk if we can reverse it or what. It explains why my metformin isn't being digested and shit out whole and why my insulin has spiked so much that if it doesn't go down they will put me on insulin shots. And then I can still have a seizure because the seziure medicine I'm on for my fibromyalgia doesn't cover the type of seizures that I have. Found that out about 12 hours ago. So really. I don't give a shit about stupid ass Robert Hight. So Saturday night he's prancing around like a peacock with a dildo shoved up his ass and his Gramma chained to it and shoving it in and out for him. And I just told him "you look fucking stupid and get your stupid fucking ass away from me because you're just looking stupidier by the second" So the FBI herded him away. I should not had had to say anything. Friday night it was an outright war with alot of people just getting between me and him. Until he came back and was actually a normal human being. Whether or not it was fake I don't even care. I'm just tired of people bothering me. Then I said "big deal. Dejoria broke 4.0 some one has to break the record. Someone has to. Anyone. Just so happened to be Robert. Big deal" I really don't care about racing. I could care more but I'm not there. I'm here. At my house. Where my kid bitches we don't have water. Where Alex's dog was brutally murdered in cold blood for no reason. Where my refrigerator my stupid ex-husband insisted on getting and I didn't want but got it because it made him smile doesn't work anymore. Where I can't get my kid's iron up high enough because she won't get off her period. So it's really difficult for me to care about some record. Maybe if I helped break it I would care. But I didn't. So I don't. Maybe I helped Robert want to be a real person because I wasn't afraid to tell him that I see through his lying and selfish ass. I don't know. I don't care. I have real shit to care about. Really shit that's a whole lot more important to me than some stupid ass NHRA extra cariccular activity that someone decided to make a career out of. I didn't decide that. Matt decided he wanted to race. He always loved cars. He was so excited when j got my driver's license. He loved every second of me driving. And racing trains by crossing in front of them. Waiting till they got as close as possible before I crossed the tracks. So that's Matt. That's what Matt decided to do with his life He also decided to care about farms and shit. Call me what you want but I care more about what a cow eats before I care about how fast a car can go. I think I could beat Robert Hight's record myself. I think Matt is an absolutely amazing driver. He is. It's not just me. He proves it. But I also see what he does wrong when h drives. I can be as good as him. I know can be better than him. I don't care about Robert. I admire Matt. I want to be better than him. I want to be better than John Force when he was running back to back champions. Matt gets all bugged cause John wears a white hat. Always. I'm all.leave him alone. He deserves that hat. If I was him, I'd want w fucking crown but I would settle for a white hat everyday. People tell that I'm the best they got. I tell them God help this planet because there's Gotta be someone better than me. I pray all the time that there's people better than me And that they stay that way and not because I get worse but because they keep getting better. So I don't feel bad for wanting to beat people I admire. So here's to you Robert Hight, I don't give a shit you won and you better leave me the hell alone or you're gonna get your ass beat in every single possible way in your life. If it make you feel better then congratulations, too. Because I'm not bothered by you. Just like someone beat Dejoria's 4.0 break. Someone will break the 3.7 and the 3.6 and I think it can get down to two point two. Then someone may eventually been beat that.