#I am fishing for attention
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I did not get a lot of writing done today BUT I did pass my screenwriting class!!!!
#personal stuff#also yes#I am fishing for attention#I thrive on it#at least on here#not when presenting in front of a group of people#then I prefer to not be perceived
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divorce your soulmate and join our gang
#my art#limited life#solidaritygaming#smallishbeans#grian#trafficblr#this is their dynamic#to me#for the record i gave jimmy aviators and grian fishing glasses very on purpose#also! the long awaited return of the joel smallishbeans trafficlife heart earring#now i'm not saying i'll do one of these for every team if this gets enough attention#but i am very easily influenced by attention and this fact can be used to manipulate me
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I talked about this before but I encountered it again and I thought it was hilarious.
Twitter refugees who think it's wise to say "actually I think this media is a disappointment and I hated this character idk why everyone likes them" and then proceed to meticulously tag every single thing they just insulted. Stop. That won't fly here. You are speedrunning getting on so many people's blocklists and I don't even feel sorry for you.
#jay rambles about life.txt#it's okay to be a hater I am to but dear lord. don't tag it.#it's not that hard. in fact it requires less of an action than tagging#you are just attention/drama fishing and by and large you'll just fail.
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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I apologize for this being extremely self-indulgent. I had some dumb scenario in my head of my toon and Holly playing Monster Hunter World. I feel she would definitely main a great sword, lance, or sword & shield.
#toontown#toontown oc#toontown corporate clash#Corporate Clash#toontag#toonblr#toon oc#was debating whether or not i wanted to post this but yeah#happy pride month btw#also yeah i am getting the rest of admin's lore done i just have the attention span of a goldfish#small note but those clown fish slippers are actually my toon's and she lets holly wear them every time she comes to visit
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ok i posted this a few days ago and then got crazy self conscious and deleted it which may happen again but anywayyy. if anyones interested in sad unresolved 80s fiddauthor stuff featuring memory loss awkward slow dancing and a lot of eye bleeding. this exists
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@fishshit @ectobiologay you can't just put the best ideas I've ever heard in your tags and then not expect me to draw them
Original prompt
Original exhibition illustration
Yakov trauma
Outdated design rant
Added design elements
Here's a version without the LEDs so you can actually see
#so thanks fish for bringing this delectable lyric to my attention#and thanks ecto for the insane amounts of Viktor Extra Nikiforov you inspired with the mention of leds#im not going to comment on how expensive leds like these would be#yall can have fun with that#oh and yes i added more symbolism because is it a piece of mine if i havent spent eons musing over how much detail i can cram into it?#i mean if i didnt id almost be disappointed with myself#i adore details and symbolism so much in case you couldnt tell#and the amount of pure drama viktor can pull off is the perfect outlet for that and i will not stop putting this man in every outfit ever#once my hand falls off ill just train the other to do the same#im reliably insane about this show#i am so normal#arom antix art#arom antix#art#fanart#yuri on ice#yoi#yuri on ice fanart#yoi fanart#viktor nikiforov#religious imagery#reblog tags are a gold mine dont ever stop
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#today's just been. A Day.#I have a wisdom tooth surgery tomorrow that I'm not looking forward too#and the bill for college came and holy shit it's expensive!!!#and there's a whole bunch of other stuff I need to pay for!!#like a haircut and my tattoo!!!#and the damaged bumper on my car!!#and I feel like I'm losing my friends#like I'm worried that I'm not actually friends with anyone anymore#like I've grown too far away from my high school friends but none of my college friends actually know me well#and I can't make anything anymore#I can't write and I can't draw and I just feel sick with myself#I feel like I'm such a natural disaster of a human being#I don't even really want to post this bc it's gonna feel like I'm fishing for attention#and maybe I am but like. idk. brain not good now#lea chatters#sorry for the rant I just needed to shout into thr void for a minute#vent post#lea vents
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who was going to tell me how terrifying it is to watch a kid go though puberty. like ill glance over at my little sister and think oh her arms look so grown up now. what the FUCK does that mean thats such a nothing sentence. but its true
#tes and i got hit at about the same time#and frankly i had bigger fish to fry at the time so i wasnt paying much attention#but its seriously insane now that i Am paying attention#pussygator proclamations
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Instagram keeps showing me reels of someone with a handle named something like jamesmaythristtraps and like, they are truly doing gods work but I can't like or comment on these masterpieces because I know what kind of snitch of an app it is 😔
#well atleast now I have figured out how to keep myself warm in upcoming winter months#no but#how do people handle their relatives following them online#????????#pretty recently friend of a friend was like “oh what's your insta =)??”#and its like#I have four posts and one of those is mf rick astley should I be explaining myself ??#banging my head against the table like why couldn't I just get my fangirling on for bts or something#or maybe more like out of all the 80s acts why did I fall hard for the one who is memed to death#I mean okay rickrolling can be funny#and he looked goofy there#top tier Tintin cosplay#even with my attraction to James its like#I feel like I should be explaining myself because he's old#and most likely not what when people think about male celebrities people drool over ...#maybe shamed myself into thinking “I shouldn't be attracted to this” “this is abnormal so it must be wrong”#I mean tons of girlies like men like him#but then I see guys my age say things like “I should go to the gym so women would pay attention to me”#or putting weird flexing photos on their dating profiles (not even just flexing with their muscles but like cars or watches... or fish...)#like I don't care about your boring ass new volkswagen ????#and in that case it wasn't even just one photo... I don't care for new cars they all look the same :-/#it just makes me go ? am I supposed to be attracted to this ?#is this the norm??#why can't I be normal aaaa#so in conclusion#I'm deeply ashamed of my interests and attractions lol#hopefully I will someday grow out of this#all the peer support is welcomed on this post lmao
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I'm on ep5 of LOK and remembering why I have never gotten past the first season of this show. The love triangle shit is driving me INSANE in the worst of ways. It feels like fucking high school drama.
I will stick it out... because I have heard the show gets better... and also the promise of endgame Korra and Asami.... I will stick it out this time....!!!!
But God. It's so annoying 😭😭😭😭
#speculation nation#i will stay strong. i WILL... i will....#the thing is like. atla always had the romance subplots & some jealousy plots. but it was like#they had bigger fish to fry. at the end of the day the romance was never the prime focus#bc they were fighting a War! and they were younger than the LOK team too#it never felt so heavy-handed in atla. in LOK it just feels so Forced....#doesnt help that im like. man Bolin really would be better for Korra than Mako.#stop paying attention to a wishy washy guy who wont even pay 100% attention to his own girlfriend (who's not you!!!!!)#i rly do like Bolin and Korra's interactions. but also the way the writing is pushing Bolin's crush on her kinda sucks#bc i think theyd be best as bros. genuinely.#and i Know we get the f/f ending but god DAMN im still. ugh ugh ugh. what a time.#also barely relevant but who was the lady Tenzin was seeing before his wife. im so curious#this man is so stiff howd he get TWO women falling for him like that??!#ALSO... the fact that ep 4 is so heavy on the fear and seriousness. then ep 5 is just like. oh no! love triangles!#hfkshfksd ive been enjoying some of the show but rn i am so annoyed by it hfkshfkd#i will stay strong... i will... it will be worth it to stick it out....... I Will...!!!!#fanny watches lok
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you can tell who actually came here to fish and knows the horrors of the sun and who is just here for fun silly pr and have no intentions to deep sea fish
#only 3 boys came with long sleeve light weight shirts? oh we've lost the ancient texts#yeah ekkys worn that hoodie before#thats one of his many fishing outfits#because ofc the man who bought a fucking fishing boat because he kept annoying matheson about taking him out on his boat has fishing outfits#ekky did not come here to play hes locked the fuck in#while mikksy and forsy do fish and have gone deepsea fishing before you can kinda tell its not super their thing#forsy has stated before he likes lake fishing more despite ekky taking him out for some deep sea fishing#and mikksy has bragged about catching a dorado but thats about as much fishing stories ive heard from him#aside from the sturgeon tagging trip ekky organised (and mikksy was invited!!! so he does like fishing a lot!!!!)#lundy also likes fishing and does fish in the summer#but the scandinavians give more of a “i like lake fishing more than deep sea fishing” vibe#ekky has also taken benny out fishing in his boat but it seems more of a eh its a fun activity to fuck around with if a friend invites me#but im not gonna go out of my way to do it like ekky does#anyways why am i rambling about fishing in the tags jesus#im just here for maffhews cute fun flirty shorts hes been flaunting about in the same way animals have favourite colours#which tend to be fluorescent because its very attention grabbing re: gators preferring the colour pink and gravitating towards pink flowers#if they fall in their water enclosures yeah that was a study i read the article and it was fantastic
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I am just having the most morning. Including waiting on a horrible phone call from a medical provider, guilt from having to cut off someone who used to be dear to me, and vomit.
ridiculous quantities of vomit.
hugs would be appreciated.
#the earl speaks#the earl's boring life#delete later#yes i am fishing for sympathy/attention#i'm having a very normal one
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i have one more clip to post but that's being saved until i feel like doing a mild edit. which means it will probably be next week i am On A Schedule right now every single day is being meticulously planned out kjgfhgk (help)
on the bright side, skyblock update. 85% TO FISHING 42 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH 💥💥💥
#i just wanna be fishing 45 please send help#long youtube videos save me...#every show i wanna watch requires captions so i cant devote enough attention to reading and playing >:( so im stuck with youtube videos#it's a slow grind but it's been a lot better with my gear upgrades and the new mixin they added :0 i was 0% two or three days ago#and considering i havent been able to play much. THAT'S A LOT OF EXP#goal is fishing 45 by 2024 but i dont think that'll happen. might set my sights for at least 43 i'll take ONE more level#it's going by faster rn with marina but i've been schedule for work her entire term#BUT DERPY IS ABOUT TO BE MAYOR AND IM OFF FOR THE HOLIDAYS WOOOOOO time to grind#i dont go back till wednesday after tomorrow life is beautiful#i'll try to be a little bit social but. can someone please come to my house for once instead of me leaving the house#i am driving All The Time now it's starting to wear me out :(#''wanna come over wanna go do this'' can we hang out here i have a dog who would love to see you#chat
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This took too long
Espen D. Akuji, circa canonical 2016
#digital art#oc#original art#roowashere#sfw furry#furry#oc art#tubblesona#espen akuji#This is my longest time on a single art piece ever#Save me#I have the attention span of a gold fish I think this broke me#I know 7 hours isn't that bad for more professional artists but I am capable of holding a focus on smth for like 20 minutes tops
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I've had catfish twice now and! It is a good fish.
#misc#somehow despite being as old as i am#i dont know the things that i like#so im paying more attention#and i like cat fish and fried green tomato and collard greens#its been a long time since ive had corn bread#but it is still as good as i remember so thats nice
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