#I am dramatically dying on the floor in the falling rain

[era-of-rosemary]

I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT FLAT FUCK FRIDAY IN MY DRAFTS NOOOO

[hinagamoizaf]

Comparing & Contrasting - Cornelia Street and You’re Losing Me

I will be comparing and contrasting the songs Cornelia Street from Lover (2019) and You’re Losing Me from Midnights (2022), both written and performed by Taylor Swift. I find that these two songs capture two opposite ends of the same relationship and it is worth analysing their narrative impact. Cornelia Street depicts a protagonist who is so in love with their partner, that one of their biggest fears is actually to lose their lover (in my opinion). Whereas You’re Losing Me depicts the protagonist at their wit’s end, as they are now the one losing the love in the relationship due to the shortcomings of their partner.

Death of the Author I would like to make it very clear that I will be referring to the speaker of these songs as the protagonist, and their partner as the partner. I am not here to speculate on Swift’s personal life and be part of the tabloids. I am respecting Swift as a singer-songwriter and analysing her work from a storytelling perspective. I am approaching this with the lens of the death of the author. Difference between First Person and Second Person I was very drawn to the lines,“I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends,” (Cornelia Street,2019) when paired up against “Stop, you're losin' me (3x).../'Cause you're losin' me.” (You’re losing me,2022).  These lyrics occur in the chorus. There’s a difference between oneself losing the romantic partner (‘I hope I never lose you’) and the other person losing their partner. The fact that the speaker uses ‘I’ is a way of saying ‘I am accountable, I hold power’ but power in a sense that she can change the direction of the relationship and potentially lose the love interest.

Compare this to the usage of ‘you’ with ‘Stop, you're losin' me’, now the speaker’s partner is the accountable one. They are the ones actively losing the speaker and causing the relationship to fall apart. It’s almost interesting how ‘Stop, you're losin' me’ is repeated three times, as if it’s a chant. But taking this outside analysing the lyrics on their own, the song itself during this line has that heartbeat sound. I think it is very intentional that this mimics a moment in the hospital room. This is further exemplified by the line, “I can't find a pulse/My heart won't start anymore/For you.” (You’re losing me,2022). This literally reads as a dying patient on death’s door, the speaker is communicating to her lover that she is no longer ‘alive’ in this relationship; and likewise how her metaphorical heart no longer starts for her lover. These are her final words to her love interest as their relationship dies.  Again, taking into account the song itself and how it’s sung, ‘I can't find a pulse/My heart won't start anymore’ is said very fast, one line flows into another. It’s that pause before ‘For you’ that really adds the dramatic effect that the speaker is no longer living (and to an extent plausibly loving) in this relationship. The focus of ‘you’ highlights that the love interest is the one who caused this downfall. 

Rain and Domestic Life For the two lovers in these songs, there are intricacies in their behaviours and state of mind that reflect on the relationship. Or at least from the perspective of the narrator, these are things that she notices and matters to her. As such, when the speaker’s lover gradually fails to notice these intricacies, this causes a rift in the once hopeful and adoring relationship. Cornelia Street’s (2019) line, “We bless the rains on Cornelia Street/Memorize the creaks in the floor,” shares a similarity with You’re Losing Me’s (2022) lyric, “Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes/How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?” in relation with the previous statement. On a basic level, the lines ‘We bless the rains on Cornelia Street’ and ‘Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes’ have that rain and storm imagery; this surface-level connection of these forces in nature occurring in the songs not long after the chorus. However, my interpretation of these lines suggests a deeper reading. ‘...bless the rains on Cornelia Street’ does not have to mean the literal rains that come from the clouds. It does evoke that imagery and the intention is there, it could mean that the speaker is thankful for the love and freshness that is presented in their relationship after hard times; like rain after a drought. I think it could be read as a shower of love for themselves and upon this relationship; and that this love is refreshing as it is found to be a blessing. This demonstrates how rain can evoke a positive image and reflects the hopefulness and adoration at this stage of the relationship.

Compare this to ‘...I glared at you with storms in my eyes’, and how towards this part of the relationship, that hope turns into despair and that adoration morphs into resentment. The usage of ‘Every mornin’’ shows the almost domestic aspect of their relationship, how the speaker and love interest are waking up to each other. For the speaker, they are waking up with stormy eyes, glaring at their partner just as the day starts. Considering this is a later phase in their relationship, that shower of love that rained upon them both in Cornelia Street (2019) has now changed and become internalised stormy glares in You’re losing me (2022). Then there are the previously mentioned following lines, “Memorize the creaks in the floor,” (Cornelia Street,2019) and, “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?” (You’re losing me,2022). It is such a mundane thing to be counting creaks in the floor, but it reflects the familiarity and joy the couple has in this shared apartment; their home of love and joy. It’s an aspect of relationships how the lovers are enjoying the mundane, this idyllic love and attention to detail. So when compared to how the love interest doesn’t realise their partner is dying yet claims to love them, shows that they are ignorant and neglectful of their partner’s well-being. That for someone you wake up to and claim you are in love with, the love interest is blind to the fact that day by day the speaker is at the end of their life with this relationship. Animals The line, “I'm getting tired even for a phoenix/Always risin' from the ashes/Mendin' all her gashes,” is memorable with the usage of the phoenix metaphor. Often in mythology, and has been mentioned by the speaker, the phoenix is a creature reborn after setting itself on fire. The mythical bird represents rebirth and in literature, is used to show that one’s passion has a way of coming back from the dead (so to speak). Cornelia Street doesn’t utilise animal imagery, but I will be borrowing the butterfly motif that the Lover album is associated with. Similar to the phoenix, in certain mythologies, a butterfly also represents rebirth; a creature that is also known as a symbol of transformation.  The lighthearted and sweet usage of butterflies in Lover mirrors how the album is a celebration of love and joy after one has had a harsh past and is embracing a more tender side to them. This hopeful, loving nature is echoed in Cornelia Street. As much as the song highlights the speaker’s fear, it also highlights the speaker’s hopes for this growing relationship. As evident with, “We were a fresh page on the desk/Filling in the blanks as we go,” this line shows that the speaker and the partner are in a relationship where they are willing to work on it together. Not only that, the couple is open to facing opportunities and experiences that will occur throughout their relationship. It shows how hopeful they are, and are embracing this new, tender love.  Now compare this with the phoenix in You’re Losing Me, which invokes more passion. The image of ‘Always risin' from the ashes/Mendin' all her gashes’ shows that the speaker has repeatedly ‘died’ in the relationship, meaning that she was either grasping at straws or has lost interest multiple times. Not only that, she has to bring herself back up from the ‘dead’, she has to bring herself to love her partner once more; only to be the same person to comfort herself after all the heartache. Even such a mighty, magnificent creature can no longer love and be appropriately loved in this relationship. The speaker is losing hope, her passion for a relationship that is no longer fulfilling and reciprocating her efforts is dying out; there is a chance that this phoenix will no longer rise.

[lavendershadow]

Here I come Come to you In the very clothes That I killed Killed you in and now I know I'm alone

I walk, to you Rains falls, from you Can you Wash me Can you Drown me

I wanna be a lot of things So much pent up inside of me I wanna be stronger Too long I've sat here undecidedly Planning strategy half of me Knows it's all just a fallacy Failing miserablely, drastically And then I crash dramatically Into a wall I've hit a hundred times before And yet I still ignore The dark red blood stains on the floor And I'm back in front of you Lord With the blood on the floor Is the blood mine or yours I don't wanna do this anymore

Back and forth between being me And who you call me to be You see a man free who thinks he has to buy a key To a door but he can't cause he's poor And he cant fall down Anymore Cause he's already on the floor And his heart is broken and all and this is his call But it's more of a cry Cause he will try nine times Realize nine crimes But he has more than nine lives So he picks himself up And keeps climbing for the prize Again

Here I come Again to you Just to show, that blood soaked through Through my bones And all I own Is there a way for me to grow

I walk, to you Rain falls, from you Can you, wash me Can you, drown me Please

Every time I feel selfish ambition Is taking my vision And my crime is my sentence Repentance is taking commission It's taking a toll on my soul I'm screaming submission and I don't know if I am dying or living I will save face for names sake Abuse grace Take aim to obtain a new name and a newer place But my name is lame I can't walk and I ain't the same And my name became a new destiny to the grave

They say the oceans blue But it's black right now In the dark, on the sand, Looking out at my crowd Depression and drowning Singing now the full parts A lightning reveals where The ocean stops and the sky starts I've been told by the sky That the ocean I shall win But it's hard for me to see Where the ocean stops and the sky begins A random strikes of light Remind me of what is true But right now the ocean blacker than black The sky is too

[volleychumps]

First off CONGRATULATIONS!!! You deserve all the love for the work you do ❤️ and let me tell you I squealed when I saw your requests open again 😂 might I ask for a cute dancing in the rain scenario? With Suga and Hinata? Thank you love -🍡

AGSAHIJS one of my fav requests in a minute, I hope you enjoy!

Dancing in the Rain w/ Sugawara and Hinata

----------------------------------------------------

Sugawara

“Stop looking at me like that!” 

“Oh, don’t mind me- it’s not like this is completely your fault or anything.” 

Suga whines at your deadpan tone, and you chuckle a little at the fact that the setter had wrapped you up in his arms from behind as a sign for asking for forgiveness. You look out into the pouring rain before sighing, palming your face.

 Maybe if you had left school on time, then this predicament wouldn’t be happening- the downpour was to be expected, but now you two remained under the roof of the volleyball club entrance after school hours, Suga being the last to shower and get out of the locker rooms from his team. You had waited, seeing pretty much everyone else leave before the rain could hit. 

“Should we wait it out?” You bite your lip, reaching a hand into the heavy shower before laughing at the sight of Tanaka and Noya darting through the rain shamelessly, bags over their heads from a distance. “I don’t think any umbrella would-” 

“Y/N.” Sugawara puts his chin atop your head, seemingly deep in thought as his arms drape around your waist before an idea pops in to the vice-president’s head. 

“Why don’t we make the most out of this?” 

At your confused stare, the gray-haired setter smiles a closed-eye smile at you before letting you go and shrugging off his black school jacket, letting it lie in a heap on the cement. You catch on immediately, sweat dropping as he motions for you to do the same. 

“Suga I’m not running through the rain like those two-” 

“Silly.” Suga clicks his tongue, walking up to you before helping you shrug your own jacket off, your confused look simply being responsed to with a small, nervous grin at the prospect of rejection. 

 “Let’s dance?” 

You blink once. And then twice before looking out into the downpour, noting it was a little lighter before shaking your head no. 

“What if-?” 

“No what ifs.” Suga puts a finger to your lips before gently taking your hand in his. “Let’s live a little, love.” 

“Something about this is telling me this isn’t Daichi-approved-” You protest as Suga shakes his head with a small smile at your antics, hand warm against yours as he gently guides you into the showering rain. 

“And something about what you just said is telling me that I don’t really care.” Suga responds, twirling you around as you slowly try to get used to the cold feeling, a laugh bubbling up in your throat as he twirls you back into him. You place a hand on his chest, voice falling to a smaller octave. 

“I...don’t really know how to dance.” 

“Even better. Follow my lead.” Suga’s smile is warm and making your heart race, the cold feeling of now lighter rain unnoticeable on your skin as you find your lips curling up into a smile. 

You giggle as he spins you around, hand secure on your waist that was oddly hot through your school-shirt as Suga guides you through a non-existent beat, humming dramatically before you clench the back of his shirt to get him to pause. 

“What song are you even dancing to?” 

“Are you insulting my musical expertise?” Suga hums as he dips you, grinning at the laughs that slip your lips as the rain pelts softly on your cheeks. 

“What expertise?” You protest when he lifts you up again, Suga gasping in mock-offense before shaking his head. 

“That’s it.” 

“What-?” 

“I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna lift you.” 

“Sugawara Koushi don’t you dare-” 

“Hm? What’s that? The rain’s too loud- I can’t hear you.” Suga tilts his head as you yelp, fake-angry protests filling Suga’s ears as he lifts you by the waist overhead, holding you out from a distance-

and then he pauses, amused smile dying on his lips. 

Hazel eyes stare at you as your laughs die down, the cold rain now more noticeable than ever as a shiver gets sent down your spine, Suga’s usual playful glint now looking at you in complete, serious adoration. 

“Y/N-” 

“Put me down.” You say softly, smiling when he complies and lowers you slowly so his hands find your waist when your feet find the floor, raindrops falling from his gray hair as your thumb absent-mindedly traces over the mole near his eye, one hand on his chest through his soaked shirt. 

“Isn’t this romantic?” His words are hushed as his usual grin is softer, face nearing yours with every second as you roll your eyes. 

“Shut up and kiss me, dimwit.” 

“Your words are so seductive, my sweet.” 

You giggle into the kiss as he closes the distance, Suga’s large, precise hand coming to push gently on the small of your back so your bodies were pressed together. The heat radiating off the two of you was so warm, the juxtaposition with the rain making the kiss that more intense as Suga smiles into it. 

“If I get sick I’m suing you.” Is what you whisper when he pulls back a few inches, Suga merely shrugging before his lips find your ear. 

“Bold of you assume that wasn’t my plan all along so I could take care of you.” 

“Really?” You blink as Suga cups your face, his forehead touching yours. “Because I wouldn’t take care of you-” 

“Ouch.” 

“I’m kidding.” You laugh, the rain seeming to lift even more as you droop your arms lazily around his neck. “Let’s get out of the rain, yeah?” 

Suga sighs as if that were the biggest inconvenience ever, allowing you to tug him back to safety as you pull your hair into a messy, wet bun before glancing up at your staring boyfriend and frowning. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. You’re just too beautiful.” Suga hums as he drapes his bigger jacket around you, and you roll your eyes as Suga looks down at you seriously, hands not letting go of the sides of his coat as his hazel eyes seem to bore into you. 

“A-Again?” You squeak as Suga nears you, causing the setter to simply chuckle through his nose, shaking his head before pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“God, I love you so much.” 

“I-” 

“What the hell are you two numbskulls doing? Go home already!” 

You both simutaneously flinch at the sound of the captain’s voice, causing you to look up in astonishment as Daichi rubs the back of his neck in irriation. 

“And why are you two soaking wet?!” 

“Why are you even here-?”

“Love, we should run.” 

“What?” You manage out as Suga grabs all your things and darts off into the direction of the school exit as he laughs through Daichi’s scolding to get back, hand tightening around yours as you blink owlishly at the situation. 

“I told you it wasn’t Daichi-approved!” 

“I never said it was either!” 

And so Sugawara Koushi ran off with you from his scary best friend , both of you sopping wet with laughter built up in your throat-

the sky now clear of any kind of rain. 

Waiting it out would have been boring, anyways. 

Hinata

“I’m so sorry Y/N-chan! I promise I’ll make it up-” 

“Stop apologizing, Shou.” You nudge the orange-haired boy as you both stare out into the downpour, the pout on Hinata’s lips matching the evident depression in his eyes as he visibly sulks.

 How could this happen? All Hinata wanted was to take you out on a date, and after weeks of finally working up the courage to ask you-

he forgot to check the weather. 

“GAH! Why am I such an idiot?” 

“Shouyo-” 

“I brought you all the way to this fancy restaurant only for it to be closed-” 

“Shou!” 

“I get it if you hate me, I really do-” 

“Hinata!” You cut him off, using his surname before laughing at the confused look he casts you after beating himself up. Shaking your head, you pull at the collar of the expensive coat he was wearing, knowing he probably rented it for the night in an attempt to give you what he thought you wanted-

You look at him sternly, Hinata swallowing back the lump in his throat as he stops freaking out. Your features soften as you sigh, putting a careful hand on the wing spiker’s cheek gently, as if any sudden movement would send him running- 

“I don’t want you to think you have to try so hard for me.” The words you utter make a confused Hinata blink in bewilderment, but you continue anyways. “Look, I’m okay with chilling in hoodies and grabbing some meat buns down at the convenience store. So please don’t think you have to be someone you’re not to get me to like you, because I already do.” 

You hold back a chuckle as Hinata’s eyes well up with unshed tears, the orange-haired boy turning around to wipe at his eyes in frustration that the tears had even emerged before turning back to you. His apricot eyes cast towards the floor, bottom lip trembling as you resist the urge to hug him. 

“But you deserve the best, Y/N-chan-!”

“And you are the best, Shou. I’m really happy you invited me out tonight, okay?” 

“But the night’s over now-” 

“Who said that?” Your teasing smile manages to lift Hinata’s spirits immediately, but his face contorts into a confused one as you begin to take your shoes off. 

“What are you doing...?” 

“Take off that coat, Shou- no need to get it drenched and have to drop a few hundred dollars-” 

“W-WHAT?!” Hinata stutters as you help him shrug off his coat. “I-Isn’t this too soon-” 

He yelps as you thump his forehead, arching a brow while sweat dropping. “What did you think I was talking about? We’re going to dance in the rain, idiot.” 

“Dance in the...?” Hinata’s confused stare makes you roll your eyes before tugging on his sleeve, smile gracing your lips as the race in Hinata’s chest finally eases, allowing you to tug him into the drizzling water. 

“Right...dancing...” Hinata mumbles to himself as he awkwardly stands in front of you, and you laugh before taking both of his hands in yours, the warmth of his palms contrasting with the icy feeling of the rain. 

“Here. I’m no pro, but I’ll start.” You secure his hands on your waist as a blush overtakes the apricot-haired boy’s features. Draping your arms around his neck, you tug him closer, Hinata feeling his breath hitch at the close proximity before looking everywhere but you. 

“Relax.” You hug him to your body, ignoring the wet drops of rain slipping down your back as you rest your chin on his shoulder as you sway to the non-existent music. “You wanted to make it up to me, right?” 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“I’m really gonna dance with you now, you got that?” 

Your eyes widen when Hinata begins to really dance, guiding you through the rain with a tension in his muscles that visibly relaxed when you seemed to be enjoying it. On the first spin, you hold his outsretched hand out before he twirls you back into him, your back against his chest as you giggle. 

“Since when can you do anything other than volleyball?” You tease as Hinata laughs, his voice now the one of the boy you loved instead of who he was trying to be before, securing his hands on your waist again. 

“Natsu makes me dance ‘er around sometimes’.” Hinata replies, stepping carefully through a light cascade of rain as the moisture drenches his orange locks, hands gripping your waist tightly as he smiles fondly at you. “Never knew all that practicing would pay off.” 

“Good with kids too?” You mock-gasp as Hinata dips you. “Where have you been all my life?” 

“Shush.” Hinata mumbles as his ears turn a bright red, only prompting you further as you continue to follow his lead with a quirk in your lips. 

“No really, you took so long to ask me out because why?” 

“Y/N stop teasin’ me...” 

“You’re just so cute-” 

“Y/N.” Hinata stops his movements, a serious edge to the usually rambunctious boy’s eyes as you still, teases dying in your throat as Hinata moves closer to you, hands tightening on your waist. 

You clench your eyes shut, heartbeat in your ears as you feel his breath against your lips- 

only to be turned around by the shoulders, the feeling of Hinata’s shaky heads pooling your hair into his hands. 

“Y-Your hair! Ahaha we don’t want this to get wet, do we-?” 

You chuckle nervously, passing a hairtie back to Hinata as you try to hide your dissappointment. Hinata pulls your hair into a ponytail, biting his lip as he internally curses at the lost chance. 

“Let’s rest?” You offer after thanking him, walking back in front of the closed restaurant as Hinata stays in the rain for a minute, making a split-second decision before running past you to grab his jacket off the floor. 

You blink as he fastens the clasp under your chin, the expensive material giving you warmth as you frown, not seeing the slight tremble and fear in Hinata’s eyes as he does so. 

“Shouyo, I shouldn’t get this wet-” 

His lips press tightly against yours before your protest can slip your lips fully. 

As soon as he kissed you, he was pulling back, looking down the street while laughing a bit too loudly, not seeing that a wide smile had overtaken your features before he stutters out. 

“M-Meat buns!” 

At your tilted head, he slaps the back of his neck. 

“You haven’t eaten yet, right?! I’ll be back in five- no three minutes top-” 

“Shou-” 

“I’ll run! I’m running, so uh- stay warm, don’t get sick okay!” You stifle a giggle when he trips as he begins to dash off. “You better not get sick!” 

You laugh to yourself, putting your chin in your palm as you watch Hinata speed down the street and turning into a nearby convenience store, a pink hue dusting across your cheeks as you soak in the warmth of the rented coat. 

The night wasn’t over, after all. 

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General Works: @takemetovalhalla​ @kasandrafaye​ @savemesteeb​ @dreebbles​ @yams046​ @therestless101​ @dai-tsukki-desu​ @lifeisntjustblackandwhite​ @ashley-bambam @curiouslilbeast​ @wisepandaslimeland​ @deadontheinsidebut​

[musedblues]

The Fire and The Flames

summary: In which two baby groupies are born, learn to navigate backstage, and catch the attention of their favorite guitar-wielding boys, on tour with the band whose music brought the girls together in the first place.

a/n: How am I just now writing for John? Jess made me do it, and I can't help but aspire to make her dreams come true. So enjoy this tale inspired and encouraged by @brianmays-hair​​ featuring my very own projections because boy do I miss concerts. I truly poured my soul into this nbd  (loosely based on the 75' anato tour) 

w/c: 16k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

She won tickets on the radio. You pep talked her into dialing the station and started making dinner while she waited on hold. You'd found out the big news when she burst into the kitchen screeching like a loon, and even though a solid five minutes passed before she could properly say the words, you already knew.

You were going to see Queen.

It was the band's music that brought you and the girl together. She'd been hovering over the last of their newest record the shop had to offer. When she caught your pout upon approaching the newly emptied case, she declared that you could borrow the record, after she bought it. Then she told you her name.

"Queen... they're gonna... we're gonna-" You stammered and shrieked, trying to wrap your mind around the news. You'd missed their last show a city away, because of a flat tire. And the one before that because you were dead broke. Now money nor travel affected your ability to call a cab to take you to the show fifteen minutes away, where tickets with your names on them waited at will call.

///

"Come on!" Elizabeth tugged your sleeve all the way across stalled traffic. Her dark curls were pinned in perfect place, her most expensive jumpsuit hugged her form in all the best ways. You feared your heart would burst through your chest, leaving a giant tattered hole in your best top.

The theater was on one end of the misty street, but Elizabeth yanked you inside the doors of a record shop before the pavement ended. The show wasn't for another couple of hours. You relished the steady hammer of your heart, fawning out loud over how Queen were probably halfway through their soundcheck by now, right down the road from where you stood, waiting to see them. After milling through the country and blues section, you ended up in the back of the shop, where a small cafe served coffee and pastries.

With nothing better to do, you and Elizabeth sat at a high top table, munching on sweets to pass the time. Patrons of all kinds scurried in from the weather. While most seemed to come in to warm up, one group of girls burst in like they owned the place, jingling the bells on the door so loudly it caused your heads to turn.

Three outlandishly dressed girls waltzed passed the crates of records, glancing to the occasional title with a smirk, headed directly to the back counter. One of them threw herself toward the display case of cakes and cookies, dramatically ordering something warm from an exhausted barista.

You and Elizabeth had turned back to chattering over your coffee orders, glancing at the time on your watch with growing impatience. Then one of them sauntered over.

"I like your buttons." One of them piped up. The girl's heavy platforms dragged along the tile floor. Her hair was dusty blonde, totally unkempt, waving past a bright green top, ending at the hem of her black velvet pants. And just when you'd gotten lost in evaluating her bold fashion, Elizabeth chirped back.

"Oh, thank you! I made this one." Elizabeth brought her bag closer to her chest, pointing to the few pins proudly displayed along the strap. You'd made the other two, out of magazine clipping with Queen's name in bright blue letters- advertisement for an old show; the perfect accessory.

Another one of the girls gasped, spinning into view. Her short blonde hair fell to her shoulders, just above a big leopard print coat. Two ruby red shoes poked out of the end of her garment, and you wondered where this crew did all their shopping.

"Are you going to the show, too?" She asked with a broad grin, reaching out to bring Elizabeth's purse handle closer to her sight. And as if she was truly anxious to hear your answer, the girl scurried toward the empty seat at your side, settling in to listen while you gushed.

"Oh, yes!" You grinned, glancing at Elizabeth who was smiling just as wide. "We won tickets on the radio."

By then, the last girl had made her way to join the party. She wore a long purple dress and her thin red hair in pigtails.

"It's not for another hour, yet." She sighed, crossing her arms and glancing back to the counter where she must have been waiting for her order to appear.

Elizabeth welcomed the crew to pass the time with the two of you, even offering bits of her dessert to the new friends you made. They each seemed more than glad to settle at your table, glancing anxiously at their own watches all the same. For the while you waited, you learned their names.

Rita was the redhead with warm eyes and more questions about your lives than answers for her own.

Lilly was her younger sister, the small fiery blonde, who did most of the talking- so much she forgot to drink the coffee she'd put on a show of ordering.

And Jade was the wild-haired girl, without much to say, and a smile that held secrets you were simply dying to know. She kept her eyes traveling back to the window that pointed in the direction of the theater, but the building was still out of view. So when her eyes widened, and she stood to her feet in a flash, you wondered what she'd seen.

"It's time!" Jade announced, pushing in her seat while her friends followed her lead without question.

"Well, I think the doors won't be open for another fifteen minutes but I'm cool with waiting in line," Elizabeth spoke in a rush, tossing her trash in the bin and wrapping her coat back around her well-dressed figure.

The trio waited for you and your friend to collect yourselves, share an excited giggle, and scurry along. The air was still wet, but the rain had yet to fall. You prayed it would stay that way, as you approached the theater, noticing the line stretched for blocks full of anxious fans, eager for a night of music. It would totally suck if you had to linger during a downpour, but you decided Queen was worth the mild pending torture.

The group of girls you'd become acquainted with skipped ahead of you, turning every now and again to make sure you and your friend were keeping up.

As you approached the dreaded line of freezing faces, you sucked in a breath, prepared to find your place at the end, and stick it out till the doors opened. But as you turned to follow the line, you were yanked in the other direction.

"Follow us, trust me!" Jade dug her fingers into your coat, pulling you toward where Lilly and Rita skipped ahead. Elizabeth latched on to you, pulling herself to keep up in a confused rush.

"We'd better wait in line. What if we get back to late? We've been waiting for these tickets forever and-" Elizabeth fretted, keeping her step in time with Jade's pace who set your own. And before your friend could go on making excuses to wait in the cold, shelter came into view in a gloriously unexpected way; Lilly and Rita were slipping through the backstage door.

"Oh, no way!" You croaked, eyes going wide as Jade reached out to the door Lilly stood holding open, waving you in with a hurried hand.

The door slammed shut with a metallic thud. The sound of your shoes echoed in the dank, empty space as your new friend's giggles drifted from where they led the way.

"We should not be back here." Elizabeth worried, reaching out to clutch your arm in a panic. Jade had let you go and spun out of view. Your only hope was the sight of Lilly and Rita skipping far ahead.

"But we are." You whispered back, scanning the hall you stomped through, in a hurry to Lord knew where. Distant chatter and ruckus could be heard as you approach the end of the four-way turn. Jade popped back into view.

She walked backward with ease, wearing a broad grin and holding two gaudy orange stickers in either hand. Two backstage passes. Elizabeth glanced at you, then back at Jade, let out a loud laugh, and snatched the sticker from her hand.

"Welcome to the show, ladies." Jade grinned, handing you the last pass as Elizabeth slapped her own to her chest with glee.

"Oh, God." You chuckled, sticking the pass to your best top as Jade spun to lead the way a little faster. You had just gotten so lucky. "Oh my God, Oh my-"

And just before you rocketed into a true blue freak out, Elizabeth's nails dug into your palm, as Jade halted in place, fanning her arm out for a group to cross the hall before yours. It was them. It was Queen.

Freddie led the way in a bedazzled leotard, a coy grin painting his face as he swept his dark fringe back.

Roger followed close behind, his boldly patterned shirt unbuttoned all the way. He was laughing at something one of his bandmates said, placing a hand on Freddie's shoulder as they turned the corner.

Then came Brian. His features were sharp, and his expression was mild, almost sleepy. His long legs branched out from underneath a white pleated top, and carried him around the corner. Just before he vanished, Brian's gaze happened to sweep sideways, almost certainly landing on you and Elizabeth. And as soon as you registered his look, Brian's form was replaced by another.

John followed last, his hands shoved in his tight pockets, as if on a leisurely Sunday stroll, rather than on his way to put on a kick-ass show. His flaxen hair drifted behind his shoulders, and his eyes stayed on the ground.

When Queen disappeared around the corner, and a few workers with clipboards and headsets rushed to follow, Jade had to hurry you and Elizabeth along like an impatient older sister. Elizabeth held on to your hand like a vice, and you traded a stunned glance as you were being pushed in the right direction.

Before you knew it, you were holding your best friend's hand at the side of the stage where your favorite band settled into position. When the curtain opened, and the lights blinded you, the music came alive.

Roger sat on a throne, thrashing about, trading winks and nods between shrieking in perfect harmony.

Freddie stomped between his bandmates, singing to them, singing to the audience. Singing like his life and death and things in between depended on it. You could see beads of sweat peppered across the skin he dared to expose.

Brian drifted from glancing to the strings under his fingers, across the sea of shouting spectators and then to Freddie, with a shy smile. As if to say "look, I'm doing it! We're doing it." Every time the skinny lad leaned into the microphone, Elizabeth leaned into you as if magnetically linked to the guitarist, pulled in whatever direction he moved, even if he hadn't gone far at all. Every time Brian flew into a solo with practiced concentration, Elizabeth let little squeals escape her throat, much too taken with the sights and sounds to keep up her usually elegant demeanor.

Then there was John. You relished the times his clunky heels staggered out from the shadows, drifting clearer into your view, his head bopping, his poker face hardly changing, not even when Freddie spun to sing right at him.

You'd almost been too concentrated on finding his profile on the other side of the dim stage. When one song faded from the next, with all the precision you'd heard on your worn-out record from home, you were jerked from cloud ten. Yeah, it existed.

"We've got to make it back to the green room before the band, so I can introduce you to the girls!" Just like that, your new wild-haired friend ripped you and Elizabeth away from the greatest sight you'd ever seen, before it was even over.

Jade paraded you around a couple of corners and into an unceremonious room; where a single tattered couch, a wall-length mirror, and a table full of drinks were the only accommodations.

It was enough for a band, you supposed, but not for the mass of people in waiting. You'd come upon several unfamiliar, jarringly beautiful faces, smoking and laughing to pass the time- instead of listening to the music. How curious.

In one big hurry, Jade explained that the green room wasn't always so full and you were lucky to have come on a night that it was. That shows this close to home were always a big party.

"Those are the twins, Gretta and Violet. They're always together." Jade pointed across the way to two girls with the same long dark hair and different shades of lipstick. They turned their pleasant grins your way as Jade pushed you along.

"That's Michelle." Your new friend spoke, pointing to a girl wearing a dramatic frown. "She's moving to Idaho tomorrow. She always bought us merch from the shows we couldn't make it too. We'll have to keep the tradition alive for her when she's gone."

You were shuffled through a crowd of fresh, painted faces, trying to grasp onto every new name they were matched with. And when you made it to the back of the room, Jade let you and Elizabeth go, and disappeared.

"What do we do?" You turned to Elizabeth, swallowing your nerves. You'd been introduced to everyone but Jade failed to give your names away. You felt terribly out of place. Not to mention the fact that your favorite band of all time was due to walk through the doors of the same room you occupied, at any second. Elizabeth rose her finger, with a thought.

"Maybe we could-"

"Girls, this is Ratty. He's new here, just like you." Rita had appeared out of the blue with a tall shaggy-haired man in tow.

"I'm not new, any more babe. Two months is a long time to have to put up with these musical hellions." The fellow chuckled, revealing a cigarette from his jacket pocket. The man explained he was a roadie, hired by the band in September, to help with the technical in's and out's of putting on a show, emotional breakdowns included, apparently.

By the time Ratty finished telling his story, just before you could ask where he got a name like that, the band burst in the doorway.

"My darlings!" Freddie waltzed in, his smile glowing, his presence demanding. Almost everyone turned to greet him with cheers and whistles, except a couple of stagehands whose eyes were glued to the groupies who'd previously had nothing better to do than hold mindless chatter with them.

The band flooded in behind him, acknowledging different people in their own ways, between smiles and jokes and sleepy nods. You and Elizabeth stayed back, shooting each other looks. As much as you wanted to mingle, to matter, you couldn't be sure of your place. 

So you stayed against the wall, your pleasant grin relaying secret pleas for help to your friend who answered back with her open wide-eyed apprehension.

"Hello, little wallflowers. I've never seen you around before."  Freddie, in all his sweaty, charming glory twirled up to you and Elizabeth. He spun to great you like he'd been greeting everyone else. The way you'd been starstruck till now seemed to settle at the tune of the singer's gentle and well-meaning attention. But, Freddie was still the star of your favorite band, and your nervous glance landed on your friend to speak as your words got lodged in your throat.

She introduced herself boldly, stating her name with false confidence you wondered how she'd come to pick up so quickly.

"Elizabeth, like the queen herself." Freddie barked a laugh, letting his gaze travel across your friend's well-dressed form. "A queen amongst Queen." He seemed to realize.

"And you're something special too aren't you?" Freddie quirked his head to you, as you stood in stunned silences, still. "You're her little twin flame. I quite like you pair."

You and your friend let out little laughs as Freddie nodded in approval, strangers shuffling past in the background. That was when Roger emerged from the mess of folks, wearing drowsy eyes and a smile you'd seen the likes of from other boys in bars.

"Roger, this is our very own little queenie and the jewel to her crown." Freddie gestured between your friend and yourself, as you both tried to keep the same level of composure as everyone else in the laid back room. What a shame squawking like the fans you were, might have been. 

As soon as the drummer seemed to evaluate the pair of you, and say hello, a perfectly manicured hand dug into his shoulder and pulled him away from view. Roger went without a fight, as Freddie rolled his eyes, turning to face you all the way once more.

"Oh please tell me you'll be joining us the rest of this tour, dears," Freddie spoke, almost flippantly, with a wave of his hand. "The bloody weather will be a drag, but you two will be much-needed company."

"Yes. We should. Shall we?" You spoke in too big of a hurry, turning to find Elizabeth already shaking her head. When you looked back to Freddie his brow was quirked, waiting for a similar decision.

"Just... give us one minute." You smiled, dragging your friend further down the wall.

"Freddie fucking Mercury just asked us to go on tour with Queen. Why are you shaking your head?" You demanded to know.

"We can't go on tour." Elizabeth said, plainly.

"You need to learn to let loose. That was your bloody new year's resolution, remember? It's coming up on the last two months to keep your word. Come on, Elizabeth. We haven't got anything better to do for the rest of the year. I'm already home for the holidays and you're between jobs. The stars have fucking aligned."

You watched your speech work magic. Your friend sucked in a breath that made her stand a little taller. And when you paused, she nodded and turned away from you to tap Freddie on the shoulder.

"Where to next, then?"

The singer's eyes sparkled, as he shot you a look that made you wonder if he knew you were the one to talk her into being so bold.

After your world subtly shifted on its axis, and plans for your near future changed on a dime, Freddie Mercury vanished as quickly as he'd appeared in front of you. The room was buzzing with folks who wanted every bit of the singer's attention, and he couldn't help but spin with a smile when his name was called out from a different corner.

You and Elizabeth shared whispered reminders to play it cool and mingling with the girls and guys who were either equally as nervous to speak to the band, or simply patient enough to wait their turn. The closest you came to making your wildest dreams come true, were the times you let your stare linger on John as he traveled back and forth from the bar to his bandmates. You couldn't be sure if he'd caught your nervous smiles in his direction, but you kept your lips upturned, just in case.

And when Jade started to leave, she motioned for you and Elizabeth to follow along.

"Don't pack too much, but bring everything you think you'll need. I'll fetch you from the station. And just remember it's not cool to be early, but never be late." The frizzy blonde listed several vague instructions to you and Elizabeth whose ears dialed in, trying to decipher the code in which she spoke. Then, Jade disappeared into the night, leaving you and your pal to race home and prepare for an unexpected ride.

///

You stood in a pale yellow hall, knocking on the door that displayed the room number you'd been given. Down the way, you heard Jade open the door of the room she must have been occupying. She'd picked you up from the train station earlier, well, led you from there to this very hotel on foot. But she did help carry some of your things. You recognized Lilly greet Jade, just before the short blonde groaned.

"They're here?" The small girl groaned in your direction. "And they're coming on the whole tour?" Lilly's complaint didn't go unnoticed by you, but Elizabeth must have missed it. Rita was already welcoming you in, when you turned back from eavesdropping.

"Hurry, we've only got fifteen minutes!" Rita pulled you into the room. "That's like, five minutes in this world." The redhead laughed, spinning toward the writing desk where her suitcase and things were spread out as if she'd be staying much longer than one night. She loaned you some fancy french perfume in your hurry to get ready, all the same.

When you stomped up the steps of the bus, you decided not to question how you'd gotten lucky enough to end up where you were. Instead, you turned to flash your best friend a smile, as everyone greeted each other with grandeur. You kept moving, past benches the other girls had claimed. Between them, were the boys that belonged to your favorite band. Whose faces you were still trying to get used to admiring in real-time, their expressions surpassing the charm they usually oozed from the news clippings you saved and called posters.

"Look who it is! I'm so glad to see your lovely faces come, sit." Freddie gushed when he glanced up to find you'd made it to where you were now. The singer excitedly waved you over to join his company, on the other side of a small booth across for your favorite bassist.

You nudged Elizabeth next to John, far too nervous to sit next to the guy you'd never officially met, but swooned over plenty before now. Your friend shot you a curious glare, probably wondering why you'd given up a seat next to the bassist she knew darn well you fancied. But still, she sat.

"John dear, next to you is our very own Queen of the Tour. And, next to me, our personal ray of sunshine." Freddie turned to you with a smile in his voice, as you eased to sit with a grin.

"Hello." The bassist nodded, glancing between you and your friend without looking either of you in the eye. He instead remained almost entirely fixated on the ring he fiddled with, on his very middle finger. You tried not to let yourself stare long, but his hands were, somehow, even nicer up close.

"These two are keepers, Deacy." Freddie nodded, in the most serious tone you'd ever heard him utter. The lilt in the singer's voice brought a cocky smile to Elizabeth's lips, as John looked up. His stormy eyes locked with yours, for a second, just one second, before he snapped back to Freddie, who was speaking again.

"So tell us about yourselves, dears."

And through a few nervous stammers and shy laughs, you and your friend took turns speaking while Freddie traded knowing looks with John. The bassist seemed indifferent at first, but his polite smile seemed to widen ever so slightly as Freddie coxed you and Elizabeth to share more stories. You wanted to stare, to snapshot a mental image of John's profile to recall later in the day when it was less embarrassing to fawn over his features. But you couldn't let your eyes linger long before a blush threatened to burn across your cheeks.

"See, Deacy? They're really something, aren't they? I'm never wrong about these things, you know!" Freddie flourished, looking to you and Elizabeth as he stood. The bus stalled outside of the venue. It was time for round two.

On the solid ground your motley crew staggered across, Freddie latched onto your best pal. He pulled Elizabeth along the pavement and all the way through empty venue halls, into the green room. The singer fawned over the girl's pleated bell bottoms, pointing out his own array of clothes he'd brought along. And for once, you were left on your own to roam between groupies, roadies and band members most interested in holding each other's attention.

"Hi... I don't believe we've met." A soft, almost timid voice came from just over your shoulder. You spun around from your mission to paste yourself to the wall, like the night before. Stalling you was a certain curly-haired guitarist, holding out a paper cup of tea your way, clutching his own to his chest.

You took the drink with a surprised grin, before telling the guy your name. Brian rose his cup to yours in a mock toast. All the nerves you'd felt meeting his band members were giving you pause now. Brian was shockingly easy to talk to.

"And who is your lovely friend?" Brian asked, letting his eyes flutter across the room, where Elizabeth and Freddie were trading bracelets and laughs.

"According to your singer, she's your band's monarch. She's called Elizabeth." You smiled, watching Brian's warm eyes linger on your friend.

"I see." He grinned, tearing his gaze away to face you again. As you monitored the guitarist's withheld smirk, and the look in his eye, you took a bold chance. You lifted a finger from around your paper cup and motioned Brian to lean a little closer.

"You're her favorite. But she'd never be the first to let you know." You spoke softly, keeping your eyes on Elizabeth across the way. Her dark curls and bright smile were easily admirable. Brian hummed, a sing-songy noise.

"And who's your favorite, then?" Brian asked, a little laugh ending his query.

It was then, when you let your smile represent your response, that you realized why some of the girls had answered your questions so vaguely, so far. Why they'd smirked instead of speaking, too. There were some things too dear to address directly. There was something about the spell that drew you here and now, that might have broken at the slightest misstep.

So you focused on the music. You and Elizabeth shared starry-eyed glances and subdued squeals when the lights dimmed, and the band plugged in. You felt your heart hammer to the time of the drum. You danced along to every riff and line together, until the end of the show when the lights stopped flashing, and the band unplugged. And as you took your sweet time back to the green room, you looked to your friend and proposed standing on the other side, tomorrow night.

///

The shadows of the stage were where you felt most alive. Better than alive, like you'd blasted through reality and ended up in one of your many daydreams. As you tried to understand where you fit into the mess when the show hit the road, you came to understand more about the others who crowded the bus.

Rita sat in the back, with a book in her hand and a look in her eye. She watched on with a grin like an exhausted, trusting mother. She hardly ever spoke up, or out, or joined in the outrageous fun. Instead, she flashed you knowing grins and followed Ratty around like a lost puppy.

You couldn't tell if the roadie noticed or not. He'd been so busy rushing around assisting the band with technical difficulties, and more often than not, the boy's silly little requests and complaints. The times he did notice Rita waiting up for him though, he smiled, and relaxed in the back of the room; just before springing up when Freddie whined for assistance once more.

Jade was the heart and soul of the tour, always coming away from stops with extra snacks for everyone, trading shoes with the girls who couldn't dance one more second on their skyscraper heels. She bounced from one person to the next and never made one feel like second best, when she poured them tea without asking, before disappearing as soon as she'd materialized.

The rides from town to town were usually fun. But hours passed and boredom kicked in, striking everyone at odd moments when all they lost their turn at board games and had nothing to do but watch the world zoom by the window.

Times like then, you'd glance to John across the way, and after several deep breaths, you'd dare to ask what might have been on his mind. He'd answer in small shrugs or silly one-liners, but never said what you were hoping to hear. When you'd all but exhausted every pathetic attempt at catching and keeping John's attention, you'd stood to find something to distract you from staring too long at the guy.

You stepped over Roger who's legs took over the small path toward the kitchenette. He pulled his feet in just in time. Lilly clung to his side, imploring you to watch your step. You weren't anywhere near disturbing her position, you knew she was only speaking in code, warning you to steer clear of her favorite blonde drummer.

Lilly was never too far from Roger's side. You couldn't tell if he minded or not. Lilly knew Roger couldn't very well see her from behind his drum kit. So she'd make vulgar promises to wait up for him elsewhere, loud enough for everyone to hear, and pretend they didn't. But those rare times the girl wasn't super-glued to Rogers' hip, he never seemed to keep his eye out for her, anyway.

You didn't question it. You just kept to yourself as well as you could on a bus full of rockstars and they're royal court.

You traded smiles with Ratty who slumped out of the kitchenette in time for you to take over, but you were only alone for a few seconds time. Brian came shuffling near, reaching for an apple and leaning against the counter so he could say something just to you.

"I figured it out." He noted, like a snide, scheming sibling.

"You're a smart guy," You laughed, reaching for the mini coffee pot. "But I've got no idea what you're on about."

"We're playing Scrabble." Brian declared, cocking his head toward the table most everyone had gathered around. "And there happens to be an empty spot next to John. He won't bite, you know, unless you ask nicely."

Thank God you hadn't taken a sip of your drink yet, or you likely would have spit it right out in a fluster. Brian might have picked up on your silly little schoolgirl crush, but he needed to realize you weren't like the other girls who shamelessly slithered hot on the boy's trails to and from the closest doors with locks. And neither was Elizabeth.

"We're here for the music, got it?" You gave Brian a stern look. "Heartbreak is not an option." You shook your head in his direction, but Brian kept his lithe grin before spinning to lead you along. Maybe you were only warning yourself.

///

At the next stop, Lilly strung along a cluster of girls who'd been camping outside the venue, and started some kind of party in the indoor pool of your latest hotel. Somehow, you'd all wound up there after dumping the band's equipment, sharing drinks and downtime in an all-new setting.

While most of the girls crowded the pool, you stuck to the mini bar in the back and kicked your feet up on Elizabeth's lap. Neither of you thought to pack swimsuits in the beginnings of winter, and neither of you were bold enough as Jade, who'd stripped down to her skivvies to dive in the deep end.

You watched on from plastic chairs, giggling to yourselves over things you'd always found funny. Roger was the first to pull up a seat at your table, handing out fresh drinks to you and Elizabeth. The guy seemed relieved to enjoy your company without having to keep up his usually debaucherous demeanor.

"You don't fancy a swim, Rog?" Elizabeth asked, popping the tab on the bottle he offered her. The shrieks and splashes of a dozen groupies echoed through the humid room.

"Are you kidding? I can risk ruining my hair hours before a big show, love." Roger grinned, rolling his eyes as he settled deeper into his seat. After you and your friend laughed, Roger kept rambling, starting in on a story about the time he'd chopped his sister's braids off when she'd talked him into playing barber, as a boy.

By the end of his tale, you and Elizabeth came down from wild laughter to find the other boys had gathered around the table. There was only another hour left to leave to chance before another show was scheduled to take off. And here you were laughing at Rogers embellished storytelling.

The girls in the water seemed none the wiser, squealing at each other and calling out the boy's names every now and again in hopes they'd join their fun. And the boys in the band let the sound of a siren beckoning their names linger in the air, unanswered. How could two separate worlds exist so cohesively? Maybe they didn't...

"Don't you all get sick of all that?" You asked, after one of the girls called out to one of the boys for the hundredth time around.

"Yes," John answered firmly, swigging the last of his beer and standing up as if the answer gave him permission to finally leave. You hadn't meant to coax him to go. You'd been trying to speak past your nerves all week, and get a little closer to the guy. But all of your polite advances had been for naught. Over dinner and on the road, you would ask John what books he was reading. You would compliment his hair, and ask if he wanted more coffee. But so would the other girls. You were just another in a line of ladies much bolder than you.

///

"Every time he does that I want to cry, it's so sexy." One of the new girls fawned over Brian. He stood across the way, favoring a hip, letting the other jet out as he hung his head, focused on tuning his guitar.

A cast of current groupie girls giggled from a few rows ahead of where you and Elizabeth sat. Lilly had marched them each to the front row for soundcheck, something she never usually stuck around for. 

You could have gone to lunch, yourself. You could have roamed around the new city. But even the tunes Queen fiddled about with as they set up in each new town was music to your ears. You caught Elizabeth's withheld expression of resentment every time a new groupies eye turned to focus on the slender dark-haired guitarist, for whom they grossly expressed their love.

"They keep looking at him like a piece of dinner," Elizabeth grumbled under her breath, slumping in her seat. You glanced up from the magazine in your lap and focused on the stage.

"Yeah," You breathed. "but he keeps looking at you."

Brian turned his smile to the floor when he noticed you and Elizabeth stealing a look his way, as he'd already been focused on your friend.

Just then, one of the new girls let out an annoying squeal upon noticing Brian bite back a smile.

"Oh, would you shut the hell up!" Elizabeth barked, catching the attention of the group of girls off guard, turning their grins to sneers your way, but at least they stopped squealing.

"You know tonight is my last night, right?" Jade chuckled, shuffling through the bleachers with an announcement you hadn't seen coming.

"You're leaving?" You asked, not flinching when Roger let loose on a couple of symbols. Jade leaned on the back of the seats in front of you, crossing her arms over her impossibly long hair. Sure, some days the bus was fuller than others. Girls would hop on and off without ever trading their names. But Jade was always there. She had been long before inviting you, too.

"No one ever rides for long. You'll get motion sick, ya know?" Jade traded this information like a secret.

"Well, we can't let you leave without a party." You declared. Jade's eyes grew starry before declaring you left the planning up to her, and waved you along to get ready for another show.

///

You weren't sure how it happened. Maybe he was coming down from the rock and roll high, or maybe he was exhausted enough by the long show, that he'd forgotten how to act. When John sat next to you on the bus with a smile, you nearly shot up in a panic. Was this some kind of cruel prank?

You tried to bury your alarm, and savor his company before it was gone.

"Another good show," You nodded, stiffening in your seat as John threw his head back against the leather with a sigh.

"Barely. Ratty nearly busted me amp in the middle of Liar." John jested as the roadie walked through the bus, swatting away the comment with a grumble of his own. He looked just as worn out as the boys who'd put on the show.

You laughed at John's remark as the bus filled up, too nervous to think of what to say. You'd spent all your free time considering the right thing but the moment fate allowed, your mind went blank, damn it. You decided it was enough to be graced with his presence so delightfully near yours on the ride back to the hotel. 

As the band filled up the bus and it started down the road, Freddie dreamed out loud of a long hot shower. You watched as Brian settled next to Elizabeth, including her in the argument he was having with Roger. You noticed the way he looked at her, when you weren't stealing glances at John. It was like you were making sure he was still there, not some figment of your imagination.

He never uttered another word on the ride, and when you got to the hotel, you knew the end of your shared company was near. So you offered John a measly goodnight, hoping he'd pick up on the way you hoped the statement was less of a goodbye and more of a wish to get to say so again.

When John slinked into his room without so much as a look your way, your heart ached with worry over what you'd done wrong.

"He's just shy." A voice spoke low in your ear, as you moved through the hall. You turned to find Roger at your side, offering a shrug. Was he giving you a reason for John's failure to communicate, or defending his friends decided quiet? Either way, the drummer was showing you a bit of kindness, and for that, you smiled and nodded his way.

When Roger floated to his room, and you'd nearly made it to yours, your journey was halted. Lilly stepped in front of you, blue eyes clouded with smokey anger.

"Stay the fuck away from Roger Taylor." She spoke through her teeth, sending a chill down your spine. You nodded, in a hurry to step out from under her killer gaze. You nodded because you would, because you had no plans on stealing the girl away from him in the first place.

Elizabeth asked if you were okay when you finally made it to safety. And even though Lilly's sister floated from the ensuite with a smile, you couldn't help but spill your guts to your best friend. With a great deal of caution, you told Elizabeth what the short blonde has said to you. Rita heard, but seemed to pretend she wasn't listening. And like usual, she slipped out of the room in hopes of occupying another.

This was when everyone went separate ways. This was when girls who waited long enough outside of the tour bus got lucky for just one night. When you scurried to dinner with whoever was in the mood for pizza or chips.

But tonight was off-kilter from the ones you'd become accustomed to. A fierce knock on your door revealed a giddy Jade, and a freshly showered Brian.

"Come on, then! I've found the perfect pub to celebrate my last night in." Jade informed, dancing in place. Elizabeth floated toward Brian with a wide smile that matched his own, like they planned to meet up just like this, before now.

You asked Jade for directions, saying something about freshening up before you went out for the evening, reminding her that a wasted groupie had spilled her champagne down your top before the show ended.

You'd never felt more alone while you rushed to change, in a hurry to meet up with the friends you'd been lucky enough to make. All except one, it seemed. The memory of Lilly's warning kept replaying in your head. Each time you thought back to it, the fear she'd managed to douse you in fizzled away, replaced by anger. You thought back to the night's she'd yank Roger away from signing autographs and pull him down halls when he complained about having to be someplace else. How he'd let her, as if there was no way he could outrun the girls hunt to have him all to herself. It made you sick. That was no way to treat anyone, let alone the talent of the band whose music was the only reason Lilly was lucky enough to be here. She didn't even seem to care about it, anyway.

You hurried to head out, in desperate need of fun. As you spun into the hallway, freshly dressed and ready to party, the couple you'd been in deep thought over were bickering at the end of the hall.

"You're not going with them, Roger. We're going to dinner like I planned." Lilly stamped her foot. Roger wilted, explaining how Jade had invited everyone to celebrate her last night on tour. At the mention of another girl's name Lilly rolled her eyes.

"You aren't canceling our plans, Roger I fucking swear-"

"Is it really so hard to imagine he doesn't want to be around you for once, Lilly?" You snapped, making your way closer as both parties turned their stunned attention your way.

"I'll make it easy for both of you, come on." You marched up to the pair, looped your arm through Roger's, and turned toward the elevator on your way all the same. He picked up the pace, pulling you away in a big hurry, but before you were gone, you caught the look in Lilly's eye.

On your race to the elevator, you tried to shake your fear of Lilly's death glare, and feel more prideful of your ambition to thwart her plans. When the elevator doors shut, and Roger sighed in relief, you did too.

"Thank you." He nodded his messy hair, relaxing against the wall on the ride down twenty floors. "You're a real friend."

You looked at Roger then, you could practically see his guard melting away. You'd never expected to end up here and now, not in your wildest dreams.

"Well, you know, your music has always been there for me. I suppose it's the least I can do to be there for you, too." You weren't trying to boost his ego. You didn't want anything from Roger either. It was simply the most honest response you could think of. You meant it.

"I invited her along. I promised not to leave home without her. But I never promised more than that." Roger explained, digging for a cigarette in his pocket. He explained how the two had misunderstood each other. How he'd realized he'd lead her along and felt too sorry to let her down gently. You both went on laughing about how the music led you all here and now, like some kind of spell, a curse in Lilly's case.

When you spilled out into the world on a mission to find the crew who'd geared up for a long night of fun, you were still laughing. High off of the euphoria of telling Lilly off, you were sure.

Freddie, John, and Ratty were only just leaving, as well. Roger called out to the boys, racing to catch up with his friends without a small blonde bombshell weighing him down. The boys turned with grins to find Roger racing their way, while you watched on with a smile, finally feeling like less of an outsider for once.

And while the crew joined up, John stalled and turned to watch you approach, as you stepped closer with bated breath.

"You alright?" He asked in a small way. As if he wasn't sure he should have even been asking.

You'd laughed it off with Roger. But the look on Lilly's face after what you said to her was burned in your brain. You realized you'd been biting your lip every time the thought threatened to make you queasy.

"I think I've earned myself an enemy, tonight." You shrugged, watching John join your stride, his pace matching your own. Maybe it was his closeness that was sending waves through your stomach, you thought.

"Why's that?" John wondered, ever the conversationalist. This was still further than you'd managed to get with him, most days, though.

"I’ve stolen Roger away from the girl who's been claiming him all tour long." You joked, hoping it would make you feel better about how angry you'd made her. You weren't one to step so boldly out of your shell. John went silent for a beat, glancing at Roger racing ahead, pumping his fists, getting his companions in the party spirit.

"You and Roger? You two really-" John pipped up again, his hair blowing back with the breeze.

"Wait! God, no." You barked a wild laugh. One that might have embarrassed you if John hadn't relaxed into a smile, too. When you managed to find the words, you explained yourself.

"There is no Roger and me." You made yourself clear. "I just couldn't stand to hear Lilly treat him like she does. I finally told her so."

"Well good.. then everyone wins tonight, don't they?" Even the rockstars spoke in code, huh? John kept his smile, a real genuine grin. The first one you'd noticed pointed so unabashedly in your direction. Was there something better than winning? You'd suddenly hit the jackpot.

You walked in time with the fellow around the corner to the pub Jade had scouted out. There, your friends spent the rest of the night bumping into one another in the dark and shouting curses at the jukebox when it ate their coins. As the drinks flowed, Elizabeth and Jade had taken over the dance floor. Brian cowered behind you, asking what he should do, desperate to make it clear to your friend how hard he'd fallen for her, without scaring her away. Roger bought you some shots for being so bold in his honor, and John stayed close. Not nearly as close as you might have liked, but closer than ever before, shooting drunken quips and questions your way. You were too tipsy to hide your blush. You wondered if John was too drunk to notice.

///

You didn't have far to travel, but the early morning ride seemed like the longest of all. Jade left you all with hangovers, booking it to her train station without saying goodbye.

The bus was somber, with everyone sulking in their respective spots. Freddie and Roger scribbled over notes at the table. Rita and Ratty hogged the sofa, kicking Lilly toward an empty bench of her own, where she fell asleep. You sat reading in the seat next to John. His arms were crossed and his eyes were closed, yet still, in his shutdown state, you could feel his presence like a looming storm cloud.

Brian sat strumming an acoustic nearest Elizabeth, both pretending to be focused on anything besides each other. The lanky guitarist had taken to following Elizabeth around everywhere like a lovesick puppy. You watched as he stole her away with excuses to help fix his hair- to ask her opinion on a certain hotel's free library and its selection- to sit next to him at dinner. You watched as she agreed, and smiled and leaned into his side when he gestured her closer to ask something over some loud pub speakers. You watched your friend fuss over all her best flared out pants, and boots, asking if you thought she looked alright... If you thought Brian would think so. You promised Elizabeth she had nothing to worry about with a sure nod.

It was the same gesture you gave her now, across the bus, when Brian abandoned his guitar in her lap without question, on his way to fetch a snack.

"I'm so bloody sick of this shite." Roger grumbled, swatting away Brian's offer of some fresh fruit, the only thing the bus cabinets had to offer, this afternoon. Roger stood from his spot across from Freddie, giving some passionate speech about all the things he was hungry enough to eat, how badly he wanted a proper meal.

You all laughed as he devised a plan to race to the nearest eatery the second the bus stopped. Freddie declared his grand plans for sleeping away the next fifteen hours of truly free time, wondering how half of the bus had fallen into cat naps with such ease on the ride that jostled through the winter weather. John with his eyes still closed, spoke up, startling you, saying something about how he'd never been asleep but hoped if he pretended long enough, he'd eventually find real rest.

When the next hotel beckoned from outside the foggy tour bus windows, Roger raced for the door, inviting anyone who was also famished to come to join in his afternoon plans to feast. Brian nodded to Elizabeth, who shrugged and followed along with a grin.

John lept after the small party, demanding they wait for him to join. You laughed at their desperation, how the boys were in the midst of living out their wildest dreams, yet all they wanted was some warm lunch.

When you looked up from collecting your books, bag, and coat; Brian, Roger, and Elizabeth were zooming down the steps chanting like school kids on their race to the mess hall, and John was standing at the end of your seat.

"You comin'?"

///

Roger strung you all along like the sky was falling and you only had an hour left to find nourishment before the end of times. How you all fit into the back of one cab, you weren't sure. The patient driver helped your gang locate the nearest, nicest restaurant and laughed when Roger was the first out of the ride, dancing up to the double doors of some cabin-esque eatery with their specials presented in faded chalk, in the ice-covered picture window.

You and Elizabeth sat across from the boys in the band, who dreamed of home while impatiently waiting for your orders to cook. Brian compared the fireplace in the back of the place to his families. John was delighted to find his favorite dish on the menu. And Roger acted as if he'd been admitted into high heaven, simply pleased to be sat in one place with nothing more to do than enjoy himself, and some real food.

The five of you laughed for hours, enjoying the extra-large cups of cocoa on sale during the storm you'd arrived in the middle of.

"It's so nice to have absolutely nothing to do. We could stay here all night and we wouldn't miss a thing." Brian chirped, smiling to the barista who traded his empty cup of cocoa for a new fresh one.

"I don't know how you boys do it, I surely would have lost my voice after so many shows in a row." You pipped up, always in awe of how hard they worked.

"Well, Deacy barely has a voice so-" Roger jeered.

"You leave him be!" Elizabeth crushed an empty sugar packet and flung it toward the drummer, who feigned shock. You glanced across the table, catching John's gaze. His had already been settled on you, and when you noticed, he looked down with a grin, twisting the ring on his very middle finger.

///

Love was dangerous. One taste, one blurry vision of the adoration you always dreamed of, and common sense flew out the window. You and Elizabeth were busy gushing over the picture-perfect time you'd spent with three-fourths of your very favorite band. How close your two favorites had been for the few hours you spent making Roger's simple dream come true.

Instead of getting ready for the next show in a timely manner, you and your friend chattered away about the night before, and you'd missed the bus to the venue. Rita had all the extra passes, and you absolutely panicked on your race to make it on time.

Outside the propped open backstage doors were two burly men you hadn't seen earlier in the day. They stood inside of a stone foyer, out of the snow like royal guard. Neither of them budged when you and your friend rushed up to explain what had happened, begging to slip inside the already open entry.

You had nothing to show but desperation, and the men weren't standing for your girlish desire. What else could you have done? Elizabeth took her turn at begging when just passed the propped open doorway, a familiar face floated near.

"Lilly!" Elizabeth shouted, waving past the well-built men who blocked your entry. The small blonde halted and peeked her head around one of the men's shoulders with a wicked grin.

"Oh, please tell them we know you! We don't have our passes!" Elizabeth breathed, bending her knees as she begged.

"Doesn't matter. Can't get in without a pass." The taller guard sighed. Lilly put on a frown, listening to your friend's pleas.

"Oh, here." Lilly clicked her tongue, reaching in her bag and unveiling a shiny orange sticker she'd had on standby. As the blonde reached through the security guards to hand the pass to your friend, you practically heard heavens gates creak open.

When Elizabeth moved to snatch the sticker, Lilly latched onto her wrist and pulled the girl inside, as the guards reluctantly stepped aside.

"Oops. That was the last one I had." Lilly's always evil smile had long foreshadowed this power play. She shot you a look reminiscent of the glare that haunted your dreams.

"No, come on, she's really with us!" Elizabeth turned around and reached out for you. But the guards snapped back into place, clearly on the side of the wicked witch who was already skipping deeper inside, stalling to pull Elizabeth along.

"Oh my God!" You shouted in disbelief.

"Don't move an inch, I'll be right back!" Elizabeth yelled from where she moved in a hurry inside, just before one of the big tall men slammed the door shut without blinking an eye.

You slumped in disbelief, crossing your arms to shield the cold that came along with the falling snow. The guards paid you no mind from their small shelter as you paced back and forth, trying to keep your cool, all the same. Maybe it was the weather reducing you to shivers, but Elizabeth seemed to be gone much longer than it took to find a pass to pull you back in.

"The hell are you doing?" A voice called from behind where you stood freezing, trying to hold back frustrated tears. Ratty stood with a big clunky case in hand and a cigarette between his lips. He was a sight for sore eyes.

"We were late." You greeted through the sorry explanation.

"Christ," Ratty flicked his cigarette toward the fence and reached into his coat pocket for an extra pass.

"Come on." He uttered, handing the sticker your way, nodding for you to follow him inside. The guards shot you a glare as one moved to open the door, while the other stepped aside. You unpeeled the sticker and placed it proudly on your coat, determined for that to never happen again.

"Oh, Deacy..." Ratty sang as you stepped in time with the roadie, behind the stage. John had only been around the corner, fiddling with an amp no doubt. He was dressed for the show already, a shy smile included. You tried to shake the snowflakes tangled in your hair, embarrassed by how silly you must have looked.

"I've gotten the things you need, my friend." Ratty held out the case to John, who approached as you walked his way.

"You have, haven't you?" John replied to Ratty, but kept his studying eye on you, his grin turning to a frown. "Where've you been?" John asked, seemingly concerned by how cold you must have looked.

"We were late. Lilly apparently only had one extra pass for Elizabeth, who went searching for another..." You sighed through a polite smile.

"Rita has them all. She went looking for you, Rat." John quirked a brow, taking the case from the slim man at your side. Ratty huffed and nodded toward the green room, where everyone in question would likely end up sooner or later.

The three of you shuffled that way in silence, and if you'd ever glance to John at the right moment, you'd notice he was stealing looks at you too. When the bassist reached out, placing his hand on the small of your back as the three of you entered the green room, you felt like you belonged. Like he wanted you there. The shiver his fingertips sent up your spine was different from the chill you'd felt lingering outside moments ago.

As you arrived, Freddie seemed to sigh in relief, greeting you with a sweet lilt in his voice. As Ratty met an impatient Rita near the wardrobe, and Elizabeth came running in, just in time.

"Is Rita back? Oh-" Your friend found you shedding your coat in the corner, reaching out like you'd been found from a deserted island after years away.

Lilly followed, rolling her icy eyes when she noticed you'd found your way.

"Look who made it in, no thanks to you." Elizabeth muttered in the small blonde's direction, who breezed into the room like she owned it.

"It is a triumph, considering neither of you belong here, anyway." Lilly spat, not even bothering to look in your direction. As she waltzed past where John had opened the case Ratty gifted him, the bassist slammed it shut and looked right at the girl.

"Would you get the fuck out, Lilly? You're the one who shouldn't be here. You make everyone feel like such shite, they're too afraid to tell you otherwise." John snapped, causing a stunned silence to fall over the room.

Everyone watched on as Lilly turned red hot, her fists balled up at her side, ears steaming, eyes searching for her next victim. She whipped in Roger's direction.

"Aren't you going to defend me?" She cursed, watching the blonde lean against the counter where all Freddie's eyeliner waited to be put to use.

"No." Roger spoke, plain as day, with the shake of his pretty hair.

With that, Lilly let out a string of curses as she stomped out of the room. But before you could celebrate, Rita came alive from the corner of the room.

"That was totally unnecessary." The tall redhead scolded John as she collected her coat. You watched the man hold back a chuckle at her mismarked anger.

"You finally speak up and that's what you have to say?" Ratty yelled, stepping to meet Rita on her way out the door.

"It's time!" A man with a headset burst in, waving the band to fall in line. Commotion swept through the room and out into the hall as everyone bickered and cheered each other along. You and Elizabeth were the last to leave after you'd picked your jaws up from the floor and laughed like loons over the scene you'd watched unfold.

When you finally made it to the side of another stage, something came over the two of you. You followed Elizabeth past a few snaking wires, down some stairs and into the back of the concert hall. Stragglers gathered and marveled over your orange passes that permitted you backstage where you belonged.

You danced along with fans who'd traveled through the storm to hear the music. And Queen proceeded to play the best show you'd seen the entire tour, or ever at all.

///

In an impressive hurry, the conference room of the hotel you'd rented was decked in streamers, and drink carts were set up in almost every corner. The band was greeted with cheers and toasts, all to celebrate the show they'd just performed.

For weeks you watched as they kept in tune, in time and impressed crowds all over the country. You'd gotten chills at every solo and sound. Yet tonight was better than all the best before. And since the boys had a three day weekend ahead of them, a proper party was in order.

Ratty sent everyone on a mission to set up the perfect spontaneous shindig. He took to the crowd, in charge of inviting the right kind of people to the afterparty. You stuck with Elizabeth to set up the celebration, and the hotel was more than happy to help. The lady at the front desk waved you back to the kitchen to select the best kind of sweets they had on hand, to set out for your pending guests. She even let you at a storage closet full of streamers and decor for moments such as now.

All the while, Lilly and Rita remained missing. But no one missed them much, as you downed champagne and mingled with fans who poured into the party and gushed over the music, and the boy's accomplishments.

Freddie arrived already buzzed from the ride to the party, and Roger was the perfect pseudo-host. He went around, clapping backs, sharing smiles, and passing bottles from stranger to stranger. And somehow, when you found Brian, he was already plastered, closer to crashing into sobriety than the others who were just getting started.

"Congrats Bri." You grinned, reaching out to pull the guy in for a hug. He didn't let go when you pulled away, instead clung to your shoulders for balance as he asked,

"Where's Beth? I want her to congratulate me." Brian spoke, barely keeping it together.

"Brian, oh no. Don't call her that, she hates that." But as you warned, he wasn't listening. And while he twisted in place to scan the crowd he found Elizabeth posing for a photo with Ratty, near the table of sweets.

"Oh, there I see her!"

"Don't call her-"

"Beth! Love, can you believe it? We've earned ourselves a party!"

Brian bound her way, arms outstretched like some big cuddly rag doll. And despite the nickname your friend once scolded you badly enough to remember to never call her again, she smiled. She leaned into Brian and shook her head at the way he rambled, and held his hand as he spoke right to her.

You watched on with a grin, and meandered further into the room, reveling in the knowledge that tonight would be one you'd look back on and tell your families about for ages. Then someone called your name.

"Come sit, we've got first dibs to the bar." Freddie motioned you over to some hideously cushioned wicker furniture, just on the edge of the gathering crowd.

"There are plenty of bars around tonight, Fred." You laughed, glancing at one of the mini stations set up in every corner.

"This one is nearest to the kitchen, love."

"And we've got the key." John boasted from the matching loveseat facing the throne Freddie made of his wicker chair. As you laughed, the bassist waved you over, and you'd be a fool to back away. You sat at John's side, trying not to drool over his tight-fitting suit. He was just as drunk as his counterparts, wasted enough to get up and start dancing like he did. But he didn't budge. He settled deeper into the sofa next to you.

"You." Freddie pointed behind the place you sat, barely managing to tame your heartbeat. A kid with coke bottle glasses stumbled closer, clearly stunned by Freddie's favoritism.

"Bring us back something clear and toxic." Freddie held a shinny key between his fingers, waving it toward the kitchen door. "And fetch a little something for yourself, darling."

The kid nodded, nearly bowed, snatched the key, and slipped in the back when he was sure no one was looking. John burst into a fit of giggles at your side as you and Freddie traded smug smiles. The dark-headed singer spun off into a made-up monologue about the laws he'd enforce if he were queen for a day. You joined John in laughing until it hurt, until the kid with the glasses popped out of the kitchen with vodka in hand.

You reached out for the kid to pass the drink to you, joking about how the other boys were too far off their rockers to be in charge. He even handed over a few spare cups before handing the key to Freddie with a nervous grin. You poured the kid a glass first, as thanks. He took the drink and nervously slinked off to the corner while Freddie demanded the next cup. When it came time for you to offer some to John, you felt the cushions shift. He'd leaned forward to where you worked at the coffee table.

"I'm so glad you're here," John muttered, right in your ear. All your senses shut down and reopened with a thousand nerves on end. His shoulder pressed into yours as you passed the cup of vodka his way. He smiled and said a small thank you before leaning back, leaving you to pour your own, very tall drink.

The night passed by in blurb, like the world around you had been set to super speed. But you stood still, taking the occasional sip of alcohol. Freddie fled his throne to dance. Ratty passed by to steal the vodka, arguing with John, who filled both your glasses before letting the roadie take the bottle. You thought you notice Roger kicking cans of beer from tabletops. 

All the while, John never left your side. When he reached for the key Freddie entrusted him, John let his arm drape over the back of the sofa. When a certain song came on, he leaned over to tell you how much he liked it. But mostly, he chatted to fans who plopped in the seats nearby, to extend their congratulations.

When a record screeched to a halt and the crowd groaned collectively, you stood up. As another track started to play, you moved to the exit, daring to look over your shoulder to the place you'd abandoned John. A girl you didn't recognize had taken your spot, and John wasn't looking back.

You knew his closeness had been driven by the drinks he'd downed. But it still stung to realize. It still hurt to understand you were just another passing face in his world that never stopped spinning in different fast-paced directions. When you made it up to your room, the quiet was almost welcome.

It wasn't long before you slipped into your pj's and dimmed most of the light, until Elizabeth burst in.

"I'm gonna do it." She announced, out of breath like she ran all the way here to tell you so. "I'm gonna stay with Brian."

You knew this had been coming, and at long last. You encouraged your best friend to jump into her jammies and bolt out the door. And when she did, you knew everything was as it should be, even for you. Even though the quiet pierced your ears, now. You knew tonight was one you'd remember forever. But you never dreamed it would end this way.

///

You awoke to a crashing. Muted hollers echoed from the hall, while the sun beamed through the curtains you forgot to shut. Your head pounded from the party the night before, but the ruckus from the hall was enough to drive you out from under the covers in a hurry.

You opened the door, rubbing your eyes to find clothes and shoes flying out from a doorway and toward an open suitcase at the end of the hall. Then Roger staggered out, dodging a pair of heels that zoomed dangerously passed his head. Lilly emerged no sooner, throwing the rest of her things into the suitcase on the ground, yelling at the drummer the whole time. He stood, listening, taking it. So you stood, crossing your arms, watching Lilly throw her fit, delighted at the sight of her leaving, no matter how dramatic it might have been.

When she grabbed the handle of her hastily zipped bag, she cursed her way toward the elevators. When the doors closed, Roger turned, noticed you, and laughed. His excitement morphed into a grimace as he lifted a hand to his head- he'd had much more to drink than you.

You gave the blonde a small wave and chuckled as you crept back into your sickeningly bright room. You snagged some pills from Rita's opened suitcase, stole some of Elizabeth's shampoo, and prepared for the day ahead and whatever it might bring.

The hotel was eerily quiet, the commotion from the party and Lilly's fit reduced to echoes in your memory and nothing more. There wasn't even a soul to be found in the breakfast bar, each chair in place. You picked one and ordered a hot drink, wondering what other ghosts haunted the place you seemed to exist alone in.

You only got to sulk for a few minutes. Elizabeth skipped through the halls, bounding to pull a seat up next to you, a frantic mess of giggles. You grinned, taking a sip of your drink as you watched her slouch across from you, biting her lip into a smile.

"He kept calling me Beth. And I kind of liked it."

You both burst into chuckles, heads thrown back in the early morning, despite having barely caught a wink of sleep. She ordered a drink, and some breakfast when you asked why she wasn't still with Brian. She explained that his head hurt too badly to move yet, and she was famished. 

So she split her breakfast with you and told you all the details she was willing to share. You laughed the whole time, fawning over each dreamy scenario, pausing only to announce how lucky she was and how happy you were for your friend. You'd known all of Brian's trustworthy motives, having spent many a long night coaxing him to sweep your best friend off her feet. A piece of your soul settled knowing they were finally together.

Roger and Freddie interrupted your giggle-fest to join in breakfast, complaining about their aches and pains they would have slept away if Lilly's screaming hadn't rattled them into consciousness. When neither of them ceased whining, you stood to go fetch some more pain killers Rita kept on hand to pass out in times like now, and out of reach during most all other occasions.

When you got to the room, nothing was much the same as when you'd left it an hour ago. The cleaning service had come and made your bed. And Rita was there, clamping her suitcase shut.

"You're leaving?"

The redhead turned to you with a heavy sigh that seemed to be her answer.

"I don't belong here anymore, babe." Rita shrugged when your twisted expression wasn't eased.

"You can't leave..." You cautioned, but for all the wrong reasons. Elizabeth had made it clear that she planned to switch roommates, and that was good news indeed. But if Rita left, you'd be alone. And you couldn't afford to rent more rooms all on your own, for the rest of the tour.

Rita didn't explain much further as she hoisted her bags toward the door. You remembered why you came up in the first place, asking her for some of the pain killers she always kept. You half encouraged the girl to stick around to keep mothering the lot of you, joking that the whole show would fall apart if she left you lot on your own. She only traded you the bottle of pills and a sorry smile before spinning toward the elevators with her bags in hand.

You'd felt alone in the space before, but you hadn't ever felt the way you did, now. Like everything was over. Not just the tour as you knew it. Not just your place on the ride. But like life had shifted into a new, dull grey territory right before your eyes.

///

"Here you are, then." You tossed the bottle of pain killers to Roger, who still managed to catch it in one hand despite his sluggish state. The rest of the band had all flocked to the breakfast table you'd claimed earlier in the day, watching the sun dip lower in the sky. And even though your throat went dry as they glanced up your way, you announced that you had something to say.

"I'm going home." You declared with wimpy confidence.

Everyone gapped at you, waiting for the penny to drop. But you'd already said what you needed to.

"No, you're not." Elizabeth laughed, standing from the spot you'd left her in a bit ago. Funny how some things never changed even when everything else did...

"Rita just left and there's no way I can cover a room all on my own for another week and a half," You explained, watching your friend shake her head. Elizabeth pulled you away from the group, and back toward the elevators.

"You're not leaving me on tour with a bunch of boys." Elizabeth declared, pushing the buttons to send you to the proper floor.

You argued with her all the way up to the room. You watched your friend collect her things, finding tubes of lipstick and shoes mixed among your collection. She combated all your excuses with her own, while she packed her bags.

"We'll figure something out, okay?" Elizabeth spoke up, toting her things into the hall. "But you're not leaving."

You could see the boys making their way back to their rooms, as your friend left you on your own. You let her, and couldn't help but smile when you watched Brian take her suitcase in his hand as they swept into his room. But before you could turn and face the inevitable, you were stopped once more.

"You can stay with me, if you'd like."

John stood in your doorway, with his hands shoved in his tight pockets. Oh, no way.

"I'm not a groupie John." You sneered. You had no interest in being a temporary roommate.

"I never said you were. In fact, I'm glad you're not." John chuckled. It made you hate how much you adored him. He really wasn't interested in you, huh?

"I just don't want-"

"I want you to stay with me." He seemed sure, he wasn't even asking. He never really did ask, did he? John looked at you as if you didn't have a choice. Reluctantly, you let yourself feel glad that you didn't have much of one. And then you hesitantly packed your bags.

When you got to the room John had been staying in for two nights in a row, he hadn't done much to celebrate the small stability. His bags were in the corner and the lights were dim. You tossed your things into an opposite corner.

That night, you barely spoke to each other, and you curled on the sofa to sleep your worries away.

///

The snow had ceased but the chill in the air cut to the bone. It was torture to walk from the bus toward the plane. It was small, much smaller than the already cramped tour bus. Maybe having less friends along for the ride had its perks after all...

The boys were dressed to impress, knowing they'd land to a dozen flashing cameras and excited fans. You and Elizabeth settled in the back, accepted some complimentary flutes of champagne, and buckled up for another long ride. The boys gathered around for some kind of meeting to discuss the last leg of the tour.

She never asked. Elizabeth just kept giving you this look, coxing you to spill any details on what your stay in John's room had been like. And when the plane reached its altitude, you'd had enough of your friends daring glares.

"I slept on the sofa." You admitted through a sigh.

Elizabeth dropped the magazine she'd pretended to be interested in, to her lap, and turned to you with wide eyes. When you met her glance, she swatted you on the shoulder with a disgruntled huff.

"One month left." She rose a manicured nail. "You have one month left of this year and I will not let you live it on sleeping on his sofa."

You snorted a laugh. She sure had come a long way since diving headfirst, last minute, into her new year's resolution. Just then, the boys broke away from business, and Elizabeth perked up.

"John, dear, this seat isn't taken!" She stood to shuffle toward Brian, but you knew her motives were mostly with you in mind.

John could have kept walking and sat next to Ratty, behind you. He could have stayed where he sat, still. But John stood up and waltzed over to where Elizabeth had fled, with a grin on his face. As he settled next to you, he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. You turned toward the window, trying to jot down every detail of the land below you, knowing it would always be there, and you could come back to it, but nothing would never be exactly as it was now, ever again.

///

After another kick-ass show, the unruly group you'd been trailing across cities and skies with seemed eager to go their separate ways. 

Roger took off, into the town you'd barely learned the name of, hot on the trail of a tall brunette. Freddie invited a cast of characters back to the hotel; you watched as strangers filled up the bus before the band was even finished tearing their set down. And Elizabeth canceled your plans; one's you'd made on the ride to the show, to go to dinner just the two of you and spend the whole night catching up. Even though she'd just been down the hall for a night and a half, you decidedly missed each other already.

But Elizabeth was easily coaxed away at Brian's simple suggestion to take her on a real proper first date. And you couldn't blame her. In fact, you were the one who pushed the girl out of the green room and made her stop asking if you'd hate her for taking a rain check.

That left you, and John. He shrugged on his coat as the last of the strangers Freddie invited shuffled passed to catch the bus. And when he noticed Elizabeth turn to wave goodbye, John frowned as if she'd been letting him down, all along.

"I'm happy for her," You spoke up decidedly, stepping to trail behind the group of partiers headed for your ride. "but I may secretly never forgive her. I was pretty excited to waste the last of my cash on a five-star dining experience we probably would have spent just drinking anyway."

John laughed, a solid, made for the big screen, award-winning laugh. And when you stepped out into the bitter cold, anxious to make it to the bus before catching hypothermia, John curled his fingers around your arm and yanked you the opposite way.

"Uh, where are you abducting me to?" You weren't nervous about where you were headed, just the fact that John seemed so keen to lead you there.

"To a five-star dining experience, duh." John hailed a cab that slowed on the glistening street in perfect time. As he reached to open the door, the man stopped you from arguing all the same.

"And I'll even make sure you still have cash left to waste, don't worry." The bassist pressed his elegant fingers into your shoulder blades, ushering you into the ride.

///

"Thanks for being so hospitable miles away from home." You uttered, stabbing a fork into a salad that cost as much as your rent back home. The place you sat now was saturated in amber light, a warmth you had to swim through to reach for your glass of water across a massive marble table. John sharing his room was one thing, but a lavish meal was another.

"Home is where the heart is, right?" John shrugged, taking a sip of the beer still floating above the bottom of his bottle.

"And I happen to know yours is in the countryside, don't be coy." You teased, shoving a fancy basket of chips toward the middle of the table, gesturing for him to take a few.

Your conversation started slow, with carefully formulated quips, questions, and answers. But once you'd mentioned the few keywords, subjects that sparked to life in his brilliant grey eyes, John was an open book.

He yammered about growing up. You asked about music. He wondered about the future. You laughed about now. And maybe it was the late hour or the exhaustion of the never-ending ride setting in, but you laughed all the way home, too.

You were shaking away the hysteria on your walk toward the hotel. And by the time you reach the halls, you'd both gone silent as the day you met, keeping your smiles polite and your eyes hidden away.

He was the first to get ready for bed. You called the front desk for an extra set of blankets, propped some throw pillows in place on a new tiny sofa, and rummaged for your bedclothes beneath the mess of trousers you couldn't choose from earlier in the day.

You slipped past John when he emerged from the ensuite, almost like you were trying to avoid each other. The bathroom was full of leftover steam that fogged the mirror, quickly fading from the corners. As you took your turn cleaning up you tried not to think of how close this was to being over. How you'd miss Freddie's jokes, the ones he'd tell under his breath just to you. How you'd miss Roger's questions, and the odd times he'd settle in for a chat, even if he didn't seem to have the time. You'd miss Brian begging for your help in catching Elizabeth's attention. You would still have her at the end of this, to dreamily reminisce with while you danced around to records, like always. But you'd miss John most of all.

The lights were out when you crept back into the room. Even the moon was out of sight in the window it's dull shine outlined. On your way toward the sofa, where some blankets remained neatly folded just for you, John stopped you. From the place on the edge of the bed where he'd settled in the dark, he rose a hand to your wrist. Not grabbing on, just letting his fingers brush against your skin. Even the smallest bit of contact with the guy sent sweat to your palms.

Only when you turned to glance at John, did he let his fingers press against your arm, gently pulling you to sit at his side. The shadows of the room might have covered his face if you were any further away. But you were close enough to see the specks of color in his steel-grey eyes.

Did he know what he was doing to you? Could he hear the thud of your heart? Did John realize how much you adored him? You nearly couldn't handle being so close, closer than ever before. When you opened your mouth to warn him, no sound escaped.

John took your failed warning as an invitation to lean closer. You were suddenly glad you'd neglected to give notice to your nerves- when he closed the space left between you to press his lips against yours.

He kissed you slowly, almost timidly. Just the way most all of your other interactions with him had started out. When you kissed John in return, he stopped holding back. His gentle pecks ended when his lips parted against yours, setting the rhythm of your heart into overdrive. It was one of the kisses that there weren't words for. All of the reserved glances, every shared silence, had led up to now. Everything you'd tried to say, to make clear to John seemed to be relayed in the way you kissed each other.

You only stopped to breathe, but when the quiet grew louder, you realized there was more to say than ever. And funnily enough, John spoke up first.

"I like you, ya know?" He whispered, still dangerously close. You could practically feel the words as he formed them.

"I sure hope so." You breathed. Because now you couldn't cling to the edge for dear life, you were free-falling, and he was the only one who could catch you.

Instead of meeting in the middle to kiss you again, he replied. "What do you want?"

"I want to stay with you." You smiled, nearly mocking the way he coaxed you into sharing his room for the rest of the tour. Instead of meeting him halfway for a kiss, you said something more. "But I'll keep wanting too. So don't start something with a finish line in mind."

"I don't plan on letting this end, love." John declared with a grin, looping an arm around your middle and pulling you close. "Besides, we're just getting started."

His low purr in your ear was the nail in the coffin. You couldn't help but melt against John. He pulled you into the jumbled sheets. You tangled your fingers in his mess of sandy waves of hair. He fit against you perfectly. You stayed with him.

///

"Where's my hairbrush?" Roger whined, scouring the vanity with big worried eyes. You stole the silver comb from under Freddie's nose, tossing the thing to the drummer.

"You actually brush this mane?" You tousled his blonde fringe, that seemed to already stand on end. Roger looked pissed at first, but when he glanced at the result of your action in the mirror, he stilled.

"This is better, actually." He shrugged, and you laughed, as Freddie twirled by to steal the comb once more.

"We're just going to the museum down the street. Are you really wasting your eyeliner for a field trip?" Brian asked, tapping his foot impatiently in the doorway on the suite that combined all of your rooms together, in the new, final city.

You'd all been in comfortably close quarters for the last couple days and a half, and yet when everyone's favorite roadie suggested going out to enjoy the last free afternoon, everyone stuck together to do it. Ratty led the way as you all waltzed in pairs between a few buildings lined with piles of snow that quickly melted under the usually beaming sun. Freddie and Roger. Elizabeth and Brian. You and John.

He'd become a permanent fixture on your side, always reaching for your hand, stepping in time with you from place to place. You basked in his glow, and waved from whatever side of the stage you ended up near, not entirely unlike before.

When your gang flooded into the big quiet art gallery, Roger made you laugh, posing with marble statues and making you do the same, asking Freddie to snap your photo. Brian read plaques like stories for you all to hear while still fixated on the art he spoke for. You sat with Elizabeth and watched on with pride while a group of fans flagged the boys down. You and your best pal shared knowing looks before floating away from each other, and back toward the guitarists who'd been glad you managed to find your way on tour.

The last show was watched on by a bevy of film cameras. The boys in your favorite band played hard. You could practically envision the music notes floating away from the chords they struck in flawless synchronicity. Ratty stood, biting his nails ready to exchange instruments and wires in too big of a hurry, wishing there were more roadies to share the worry with.

"Calm down, this is going perfectly." You assured, squeezing the slim man's bicep. Ratty nodded and seemed to still. He'd come to ask you and Elizabeth's opinion, on all sorts of things, but most music. Ratty had watched you and your friend dance to the music night after night with the same unbridled excitement for the very first show. You'd become friends and confidants with the roadie, but above all things, you were still a fan. And not a performance passed without you and Elizabeth geeking out over the music.

Everything was perfect. But you knew better of course. You knew things would be different back where you started. You knew the spell you'd been caught up end might skid to a permanent stop when the tour bus wheels did. But there was no harm in losing yourself in the days that lasted, passing by too quickly.

Even as Brian made plans for your best friend to meet his family after they landed, you knew she'd only gotten lucky. Love like that only ever came once in a lifetime. But Queen seemed to have tapped into a wealth of fortune. And those boys deserved every bit of good they had coming.

///

You stood around the baggage claim carousel watching your friends rub their tired eyes. The tour was over, even though you'd known the day was coming, the realization hit you with all the subtlety of crashing into a brick wall.

That morning, you'd awoken with time to relish the way John slept soundly at your side. You watched the sunrise shine through his hair, relaxing under the weight of his arm that pulled you closer under the covers. You followed his lead, packing your things and hauling out to catch another plane, almost like usual. You were glad for the way he'd napped on your shoulder on the ride, afraid of letting him notice how scared you were for what came next.

John kept an arm around your waist all the way back where you came from, and you kept your head lulling back against his shoulder, terrified of what might happen the moment you stepped away to grab your bags. (If they'd ever show up)

Brian and Elizabeth were the first to leave. You watched the guitarist pull your best friend away from the group after a few unceremonious goodbyes. She turned to give you a final, nervous wave; a message you understand was code for her intention to phone you later.

Roger second, joking how he was sick of all of you, spinning around to take it back as Ratty raced to leave, too.

Freddie was last, but certainly not least.

"I'm off to sleep for a week!" He declared, slipping on a pair of bedazzled sunglasses. "But I'll be so glad to see you again the first of the year, darling." Freddie kissed your cheek and spun through the glass doors, headed for home. Before you had time to fret over Freddie's implied invitation, John offered up a real one.

"You'll come along to America, won't you?" He asked, tightening his hold around your middle.

"You want me to?" You asked feebly, daring to look into his cloud colored eyes.

"Of course. I don't think I can go most anywhere without you, now." John's smile reached his eyes as you bit back a grin, twirling a strand of his hair around his finger.

"Well, what about now?" You ventured to ask, holding your breath. You watched John lift a brow and search your face, the beginnings of a new sort of grin painting his own features.

"You'd come back to mine?"

"Of course."

And you did. You followed John right through the doors of his humble flat, joking how you'd already packed a bag. You shared John's space, his bed, his breakfast, his shampoo- but only once. You were quick to head to the market and by him a better brand, the best because he deserved it. John pulled you in for a dozen kisses, assuring he already had the best things life had to offer, all of them regarding you.

///

Before you knew it, it was time to hit the road once more. You'd saved almost every paycheck, except for one you blew on a dozen new outfits, and packed accordingly, and much more wisely than the time before. By now half of your things were mixed in with John's, anyhow.

"It's the start of a very happy new year! What's your resolution?" Elizabeth squeaked, as you rushed through airport terminals to greet your dearest friend. You hadn't seen much of her in the time since the last tour, but the music still led you back together, crashing into a long-awaited hug. Her dark curls were a little longer, and her style was still just as immaculate.

She escorted you onto the plane, where you'd found most of the rest of your crew.

You ruffled Roger's hair and leaned in for a photo with Ratty before he moved to curl up and sleep the flight away. John yanked you to sit at his side as Brian was the last to board, creeping toward his seat next to your dear friend like a giant trapped in a toy plane.

Freddie sat ahead of you all, leaning over the back of the seats, fawning over you and Elizabeth much like he had the day you met him.

"How glad I am to see your bright shining faces! We couldn't possibly have a proper tour without our very own queenie and you, my star." Freddie flashed a smile over the seat you sat before.

"Watch it, she's taken," John warned Freddie with a laugh, reaching to grab your hand.

"And for that you're welcome!" Freddie pointed between John and Brian, boasting about how clever he was to have invited you and your friend along, how he had been an undercover, genius matchmaker, all along. As your flight took off, Freddie blabbered on about how it was Roger's turn, saying he knew this nice french girl who'd be perfect for the blonde. Everyone laughed as Freddie yammered on. You clutched John's hand the whole ride, fiddling with the ring on his finger.

///

You left the boys to navigate their way around the first stage of the tour, while you took across town to get lunch with Elizabeth. You joked about how it was just like the first time, when you'd waited around hours before the show you won tickets too. The only difference now, was the level of fondness in which you spoke about your favorite band who were busy setting up at the venue down the road.

She caught you up on all the long-winded stories about Brian she'd been sorting away. You'd told her what you and John had been up too. And then you took your time meandering back to the concert hall, arm in arm.

The pair of you flashed your backstage passes to the doorman who let you in with a smile. The halls were full of cases and wires and new roadies and crew members who nodded as you and Elizabeth floated toward the green room. The closer you got, the more people came into view Girls and guys in denim and velvet, chomping on bubblegum and giggling over each other hairstyles.

You shouldered past a few unfamiliar love-struck groupies with their gazes set on your favorite band. Their drooly slack jaws clamped into frowns when you and Elizabeth fell into the open arms of the boys who'd brought you along.

Some of the girls lingered in the green room when the band rushed toward the stage. You were right behind them as always, stalling in the shadows, offering thumbs-up, and giving good luck kisses. Queen took their places behind their instruments, breathing in time with the buzzing amps as the lights dimmed, and the crowd roared.

Roger thrashed his drums with a smile, as Freddie sang his heart out. Brian turned his gaze to the side of the stage as he sang into the mic. And John danced out further from the shadows than ever before.

It was even better than you remembered. It was the best. You and Elizabeth won so much more than free tickets on the radio that day. The music had always been your personal soundtrack to your world, but now it was your world. And it sounded even sweeter as John plucked away at your favorite bass line, flashing his smile in your direction. He was your ticket in, tonight. And hopefully, many more nights to follow.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

taglist: @joeneslee​​ @rogertaylorsangeleyes @imtheinvisiblequeen​ 

[drabbles-of-writing]

First Class Mess

This is part of my Four Years AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Living with Edric and Emira had it’s ups and downs.

On one hand, Amity could finally get away from her parents. It wasn’t a permanent living space, and she always made sure to spend at least a few nights at her parents house, excusing her absence as being busy with the Emperor’s Coven. But it was far better than trying to hide at the Owl House where her anxiety spiked through the roof, no offence to the family.

On the other hand, her siblings were an absolute mess.

,

“Rule number five, I don’t wanna see any girlfriends here.”

“Wow, okay, no, I veto that rule.” Emira said immediately, leaning her head off the couch arm to look over at her brother, who was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, what gives?” Amity agreed, sitting on her knees on the couch.

“Amity, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Emira asked, glancing back at her with a raised brow.

“You and I both know he just means Viney and Luz,” Amity growled, crossing her arms. “He just prefers to use the term girlfriends.”

“I meant they can’t stay over for the night,” Edric said, raising his hands defensively. “This apartment can barely fit the three of us without falling apart.” He said, gesturing to the room around them, which, admittedly, did look pretty ghetto.

“I don’t need to be dealing with you two causing more damage with your little crushes. They’re kind of known for causing trouble.” He said matter-of-factly. “And yes, I’m spreading this to Emira because it’s rude to stick it only on Amity.”

“Wow, thanks,” Amity grumbled as Emira gave an offended gasp.

“Unless someone is dying, I don’t wanna see any dates in here, understand?” Edric said. “At least not until we’ve gotten everything together in some capacity.”

“I resent this rule,” Emira insisted stubbornly.

“Yeah? Well, I’m older, therefore I win.” Edric said smugly.

“Ed, it was by eleven minutes.” ,

And that’s how Amity came to the apartment in the middle of a thunderstorm to find Edric and Jerbo in the kitchen. Both a little too close to be casual.

The second they registered the door opening, Edric sprung back. Jerbo whirled around from where he was perched on the kitchen counter (seriously, that thing can only hold so much weight).

Both of them looked like King when he’d been caught stealing from the fridge for the fifth time that week.

Amity stared at them for a few moments, her brain a little fried from dealing with the pelting boiling rain earlier.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Ed.” She finally said, walking in and kicking the door shut behind her.

“It’s just Jerbo!” Edric defended frantically, looking wildly between Amity and a very perplexed Jerbo.

“The fact you immediately knew which rule I was talking about isn’t helping your situation,” Amity called back, throwing off her overly thick coat onto the hanger by the door, too lazy to take off her Emperor’s Coven cloak on underneath.

“And unless you want Emira to taunt you endlessly, I suggest Jerbo should leave soon. No offence,” She added, looking towards the upperclassmen.

“None taken,” Jerbo said with a wave of his hand. “Viney’s not much different.”

Edric groaned and slumped against the counter beside Jerbo, head hanging. Jerbo gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

Amity kicked off her boots and flopped dramatically onto the couch, waving her hand above her where the boys could see.

“Either go make out downstairs or make up your mind, ‘kay? Cause I’m tired.”

Jerbo made a strangled wheezing-like noise that reminded Amity of a deflating squeaky toy. Edric sprung upwards, flushing brightly.

“We were not making out!” He exclaimed, voice strained. “We were doing nothing even remotely like that, even!”

Amity sat up on the couch, turning her head to look over at her brother with a deadpan stare. She looked like she wanted to say something, but resigned to just sighing and laying back down on the couch.

“Whatever. I’m blackmailing you with this later.”

“You suck,”

,

“Quick question,” Emira said, poking her head into Amity’s room. “I can still get away with doing something illegal here, right?”

Amity looked up from her book, giving her sister a look that said her question was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

“I’m only a cop when on the clock, Em.” Amity said. “Anything illegal you do when I’m not working is fair game. Legally speaking.”

“Nice,” Emira pumped a fist.

“Can I ask what you’re planning on doing?” Amity raised a brow.

“You gonna rat us out?”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Like somebody in this house!” Amity added the last part notably louder.

“Amity, shut up!” Edric called back.

“...I’m gonna ask about that later.” Emira said, pointing a finger at Amity. “Anyway, Viney can’t afford the supplies she needs to help out some baby bearstripes she found. So we were just gonna steal it and stash the supplies here.”

“You’re whipped,” Edric’s voice floated from the main room.

“Shut it, Ed!” Emira snapped back.

“Yeah, sure, go steal some stuff.” Amity shrugged. “I’m not working till tomorrow.”

“So we can totally commit crimes now?” Edric asked, suddenly appearing being Emira, looking far too excited.

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” Amity said.

“If it’s a bad enough crime I could be put on a mission to hunt the two of you down. Obviously I’m not going to raid this apartment but if I catch you on the streets it is on sight.” She warned.

“Oh, so your little Owl family gets a free pass, but we don’t?” Edric scoffed.

“I do not give them a free pass!” Amity protested. “I throw Eda in jail all the time. I’ve never even had to break her out!”

“Right, sorry,” Emira amended. “Ed meant that your hopeless crush gets a free pass, but we don’t?”

Amity growled and threw her book at the two of them. They quickly jumped back and swung the door shut, letting the book hit it instead.

“That’s a yes,” Edric snickered.

“I’m not the only one who gives crushes a free pass!” Amity shouted after them.

There were a few beats of silence.

“You have got to be kidding me, Ed.”

,

Emira knew the rules of the apartment. Which meant there were barely any and they fluctuated from day to day.

The two big ones were that anything that happened in the apartment was a safe zone, and to avoid bringing over anyone associated with the Owl House, which sadly, included Viney and Jerbo, seeing as they were friends with Luz.

They loved everyone in the Owl House, they really did. But everyone in that family was known to be very chaotic, and they’d probably break the shabby apartment or piss off the neighbors more than the siblings already had.

It was simply a precaution.

Emira, however, was a known rule-breaker.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to find Viney sitting in the living room, currently wrapping up Emira’s sprained wrist.

“You're a mess,” Viney sighed, slowly bandaging her arm. “Can’t you ask your parents to cover your medical bills?”

“Course I can, but at one in the morning?” Emira scoffed, keeping her voice low. “I’ll bug them about it later.”

“Only you would get a sprained wrist and say it’s not that big a deal,” Viney sighed, gently raising Emira’s hand and letting her hand glow, doing her best to ease the pain.

“Eh, I’d say it was worth it anyway,” Emira hissed, flinching as she felt a sharp pain in her wrist.

“Sorry, sorry,” Viney whispered, laying her free hand over Emira’s to hold her still as she slowly healed the sprain as best she could.

“I don’t have any healing glyphs, so you’ll just have to leave it be till morning. The splint should work for now, though.” She continued, looking up at Emira.

Emira was staring at where Viney was holding her hand, blushing with her ears lowered, eyes blown wide.

Though that last part might’ve been because the only light was the moon shining through the small window beside the two.

“Em?” Viney tilted her head, smiling.

“Huh?” Emira jerked her head up. “Sorry, did, uh, did you say something?” 

Viney giggled and removed her glowing hand from Emira’s wrist, though she kept holding up her arm with her other hand.

“You’re ridiculous,” She said, shaking her head.

“All the best people are,” Emira replied, dipping her head to properly meet the shorter witch’s eyes.

Viney smiled and lightly pressed her forehead against Emira’s causing the girl to freeze and stiffen up.

Emira’s face lit up and her eyes darted around, though she didn’t move away.

“S-so, sorry to hi-hide you out here,” She stuttered, shoulders hunched. “But Ed pre-pretty much broke...broke that rule s-so I’m sure it’s not...not that big a--”

“Em,”

Viney leaned forward more and squished their noses together, giving the Blight a rather amused look.

Emira quickly shut her mouth with an audible clack, meeting the witch’s gaze.

Viney slowly tilted her head forward, her eyes closing.

Emira did her best to calm her heart before leaning in as well.

Something clattered, loudly, on the kitchen floor.

Viney froze and jumped back, startled. Emira only slumped, thoroughly annoyed.

“It is one AM!” Emira snapped, leaning around the couch. “Ed, what are you doing--”

It wasn’t Ed.

Amity shut the fridge, a slice of bread in her mouth and a bag of snacks in her hands, along with the cup she had dropped.

She looked over, surprised to see Emira, before morphing into a look of understanding when she saw Viney peek out as well.

Amity took out the bread in her mouth, setting the cup down in it’s previous position by the sink.

“Carry on,” She said calmly, holding her snacks as she walked out of the kitchen and back to her room.

Emira glared in the direction where Amity left for a moment before she heard a snort behind her.

She looked back, seeing Viney was doing her best to smother a laugh.

“...what?” Emira demanded, raising a brow.

Viney broke into a fit of giggles then, barely able to smother a loud laugh that would definitely wake up Edric.

“I’m sorry, it’s just--I wasn’t expecting that!” She snickered. “What’s your sister even doing up this late?”

“I guess being up at ungodly hours just runs in the family,” Emira sighed, embarrassed as she picked up one of the pillows that had fallen off the couch with her uninjured hand and placed it in her lap.

“I take it that was probably my cue to leave,” Viney chuckled, standing up. “My dad will get worried if I’m not there in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Emira said, visibly deflating.

“Keep off that hand, you hear me?” Viney said, gathering up her bandages and extra splints into her bag. “And go to the hospital to get it properly fixed in the morning.”

“I know, I know,” Emira muttered bitterly, looking up at Viney with puppy-dog eyes. “Do you have to go?”

“Sorry, Em. But I’d rather get at least some amounts of sleep.” Viney said. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?” She said, leaning down and kissing Emira’s forehead.

Emira, somehow, lit up even brighter with her ears twitching downwards. She held her pillow tighter and buried her face in it.

“‘Kay,” She mumbled shlyly.

Viney giggled and stepped back, making her way towards the door. 

“Don’t lay on your hand too much,” She added, opening the door.

“‘Kay,” Emira repeated, lifting her head ever so slightly and watching Viney with one eye.

Viney gave a small wave before stepping out of the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

Emira only continued watching the door where Viney left, absolutely lovestruck.

“All I wanted to get was a drink,” Came a grumble behind her.

“Amity!” Emira gasped, sitting upright and looking around the couch again to see Amity had wandered back in to grab a drink. 

“I didn’t ask to see my sisters failing flirting attempts,” Amity muttered, pouring herself a cup of apple juice.

“Go back to bed!”

“I’d rather die,”

,

“Okay, okay, but what if instead of teeth, the worm had legs inside its mouth.”

“Ed, it’s like, ten. I’m not doing this right now,” Emira groaned, sitting on her bed as Edric sat on the floor beside her.

“Helps keep us awake, doesn’t it?” Edric shrugged. “Shouldn’t Amity have come back by now?”

“Maybe she just decided to sleep over and forgot to tell us,” Emira said, checking her scroll.

Sure enough, her last text from Amity, thirty minutes ago, only said ‘I’ll be back soon.’

“Doesn’t really seem like her, though.” Edric frowned.

The sound of a window opening caught their attention. Both of them scrambled out of Emira’s room and peered around the corner, curious.

Amity crawled in through the window, brushing herself off before turning back around.

Luz was outside the window, standing on her staff as it flew beside the open window. The staff lowered so Luz could learn her arms on the windowsill, giving Amity a smug look.

“See? I’m not that bad of a flier,” She said proudly.

“Uh huh, sure.” Amity said, sounding amused. “After the first couple of terrifying minutes,”

“You wound me,” Luz said with a dramatic sigh. “Why must I be cursed to be with such a cruel witch?”

“Oh hush,” Amity chuckled, batting at Luz’s arm. “You made me late!”

“Was it worth it, though?” Luz said, tilting her head with a grin.

“...yeah,” Amity admitted, turning her head away, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“That’s the Noceda charm for ya,” Luz winked.

“You’re impossible,” Amity grumbled bashfully.

“Yeah, but you like that.” Luz said, leaning forward through the window.

“Very much so,” Amity agreed, meeting Luz’s chaste kiss with a smile.

“Wha--”

Edric, who had been leaning too far out, fumbled and fell over with a loud thump. Much to Emira’s chagrin.

Amity broke the kiss and whirled around, face flushing even more when she spotted both of her siblings.

“When did you two get here?” She demanded, pressing back on the windowsill, where Luz was now staring in, startled.

“We live here, Amity.” Emira deadpanned, not bothering to help up Edric. “And you have some explaining to do, young lady!”

“I think I’m just gonna…” Luz slowly flew a few feet away from the window. “I think I’m gonna go…”

“Yeah, you probably should.” Amity sighed, looking back. “Bye, Luz.” “See you tomorrow,” Luz gave a shy smile before sitting appropriately on her staff and flying off in a flash, clearly embarrassed about the situation as well.

“Hold on!” Edric shot up from the floor. “Since when was this a thing?”

“It was recent,” Amity grumbled, shutting the window.

“Are you telling me our Mittens got herself a girlfriend?” Emira asked excitedly, spinning the girl around.

“I can’t believe she beat me,” Edric muttered, crossing his arms as he sat dramatically on the couch.

“Suck it,” Amity teased, sticking out her tongue. “And listen, I was planning on telling you, but it was pretty recent and we didn’t really--”

“How recent, exactly?” Emira raised a disbelieving brow.

Amity looked away, ears flicked back.

“Like a week and a half...?”

“...that’s reasonable.” Emira nodded, releasing her sister. “And it was about time, too!” She said, ruffling her hair.

Amity slapped away her sister's hands, embarrassed as Edric gave her a grin.

“Guess we gotta compete for second place, huh?” Edric teased.

“You and I both know you and Jerbo couldn’t ask the other on a date to save your sanities.”

“I never said it was Jerbo!” Edric squawked.

The sisters shared a knowing look but didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I’m tired. I had a long day,” Amity said, walking by her siblings. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Try not to get lost dreaming about that heart-stealer of yours!” Emira called after her.

“Don’t make me come back out there!” Amity’s voice warned from around the corner.

“Whatever you say, Mittens!”

,

Amity wasn’t used to late-night shifts.

Coming to the apartment early in the morning was a pain. Her mask was pushed up on her head as she walked into the apartment on quiet feet, ready to collapse and sleep all day.

Edric was in the kitchen.

He was never up this early.

His elbows were leaning on the kitchen counter, and he was covering his face with one hand, his other clenched into a fist on the counter.

Amity blinked and took off her mask, setting it on the coat hanger and slowly walking over, worry evident on her face.

“Ed?” She asked quietly.

Edric jolted and jerked his head up, expression flashing to that of momentary fear.

He was crying.

“Mi-Mittens!” Edirc gasped, quickly wiping at his eyes. “I-I didn’t hear you come...come in,”

“Edric?” Amity rushed over around the counter, gently grabbing her older brother's arm. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He said, giving her a sorrowfully forced smile. “Was, er, cutting some tear-peppers earlier and it hasn’t gone away yet.”

Amity sighed and looked up at her brother.

“Ed, that’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard.” She said bluntly. “What happened?” She asked again, her voice softer.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about it,” Edric insisted. “It’s my job to look after you, remember?”

“You're my brother, not my dad, thank Titan.” Amity muttered. “I’m not thirteen, Ed.” She continued. “You can tell me,”

Edric gazed down at his little sister for a moment. He swallowed before sighing and letting his shoulders slump.

“Just a little stressed,” He admitted, turning away to stare at the empty counter. “You know, what with trying to actually make a living without mom or dad's help.” He sighed.

“And then there’s the whole rebellion thing me and Em are working on. And that stupid tennant I hate. And trying to find a decent part of the Illusion Coven to join, since we definitely want to stick to that.” He continued.

“And…” He glanced down at Amity. “Well, let’s just say that fear of loneliness isn’t looking too irrational right now,” He said, sounding like he was seconds away from breaking down, hands shaking.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Amity said, squeezing Edric’s arm. “Me and Em aren’t gonna leave you.”

“Amity, you’re in the Emperor’s Coven. You're a spy. You're part of something big.” Edric shook his head. “You’ve got a lot ahead of you.”

“And Em…” He looked away. “Em’s got something going for her. You don’t become mom's favorite by being mediocre.”

“Who cares what mom thinks?” Amity demanded. “She isn’t worth either of our times. Last I checked, she was just as mean on Emira after you flunked the Emperor’s Coven tryouts as she was with you.”

“...she said a lot of things you didn’t hear,” Edric said quietly. “I’m grateful you were at the Owl House.” He murmured. “You deserve a place like that.”

Amity stared up at her brother, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Just how long, she wondered, had Edric been hiding these things from her? From Em?

She leaned against his side, burying her head in the crook of his arm.

“You deserve it, too.” She said softly. “You were able to stand up to mom, you made your own choices and even let me live with you…I couldn’t do those on my own.” She shut her eyes.

“You never gave up, even after all that. That’s what I always liked about you, y’know?”

She felt Edric stiffen and shutter, trying to hold back cries as tears freely fell down his face. He drew an arm around his little sister, pulling her close and pressing his nose into her hair.

They stayed like that for a while. Holding each other in silent reassurances.

,

It was late in the afternoon, sunset fast approaching.

The three siblings were all at different places in the apartment, for once, having a moment of peace among them.

That was, until, the power cut out.

Amity raised her head from where she was reading on the couch. Edric paused making his sandwich and Emira poked her head out of her room.

None of them said a word for a few moments.

“Did you two seriously forget to pay the power bill?” Amity broke the silence.

“I swore I paid it!” Edric insisted. “They didn’t give a notice or anything!”

“You just keep forgetting to close the mailbox, you great idiot!” Emira growled, walking into the main room. “Maybe they just got lost or something.”

Amity got off the couch and opened the apartment door, peering out. 

There were no lights in the hallways, and she could see a few other tenants looking out in confusion as well.

“Nope, it’s a complex issue.” Amity said, looking back. “Whole place lost power.”

“Fantastic,” Emira grumbled. “In the beginning of winter!”

“At least there isn’t any snow yet,” Amity shrugged.

“We’re going to freeze to death in like half an hour.” Edric sighed, stepping out from behind the counter.

“I’m sure I could find some blankets,” Emira insisted.

“You guys know we could just like...go to the Owl House?” Amity raised a brow.

Both her siblings turned to stare at her, blinking dumbfoundedly.

“...right, you guys don’t go there as often.” Amity mumbled quietly. “Look, how about we just head on over? Eda will understand. This should only last for a day or so, anyway.”

“So long I’m not freezing, I’ll take it.” Edric said, already grabbing his coat.

“Isn’t it a bit late?” Emira worried.

“Someone in that house is always awake, no matter the hour.” Amity assured her. “They won’t mind.”

“Yeah, because you have special girlfriend status,” Edric teased.

“Jealous,” Amity shot back, a blush coming to her cheeks as she held the door open for her siblings. “The Owl House has its own power, anyway. So it should be fine.”

“And if not, you get to snuggle up to Luz,” Emira taunted.

“I’m going to let Fang bite both of you,” Amity threatened, walking out after her siblings and through the dark hallways of the apartment complex.

“Ha! Jokes on you, he already bit me.” Edric said proudly. “I’m immune.”

“That’s not how that works.” ,

“Hi, Amity!” Hooty greeted, well before the Blight siblings were at the front porch.

“Can it, Hooty.” Amity said with a sneer. “Tell Eda we’re here,”

“Oh, she already knows.” Hooty said cheerfully. “Luz saw you through the--”

The door was suddenly swung open, and Hooty’s face smashed against the side of the house, much to his complaints.

Eda stood there, looking over the two young-adults and teenager with a confused, but not unwelcome expression.

“Didja get kicked out of your apartment?” She inquired, flicking an ear.

“Power went out,” Emira explained. “Amity said you’d let us stay while it gets fixed?”

“What did I say about making decisions for me?” Eda scolded the girl. “I keep getting Luz’s friends showing up because you insist that I’ll let them in.”

“And yet, you never disappoint,” Amity said with a grin. “May we come in?”

Eda muttered under her breath about kids these days before stepping aside, allowing the three to wander on in.

“Amity,” Lilith greeted from where she was having a cup of tea on the couch. Amity swore that woman was addicted to the stuff.

“Amity!” Luz said at the same time, much more enthused as she rushed from the window and enveloped the witch in a hug. “What’s with the party?” She asked.

“Power problems,” Emira explained for her flustered sister. “We’re just gonna hang here for a bit. Don’t let us invade your mushy time,” She teased, stepping around them and looking at the house.

“Aw, come on!” King complained, crawling out from underneath the table in front of the couch. “Now I’ll never get sleep with a bunch of teenagers around.”

“Excuse you, we’re nineteen! Legal adults,” Edric corrected.

“Same difference,”

Lilith rolled her eyes and offered tea to the twins. Emira accepted it while Edric hung up their coats, watching as both his sisters seamlessly fit right into the discussions of the Owl family, despite their sudden intrusion.

He smiled to himself, slowly looking around the Owl House.

Yeah, they’d picked a good family.

,

It was late.

Amity hadn’t made it home.

Emira had called the Owl House to see if Amity was there. They said she’d left two hours earlier, and were surprised to hear she hadn’t made it back to the apartment yet.

They said Amity had left after getting a call from their mother.

It was nearly midnight.

Edric was beside himself with worry, pacing the living room.

They’d even called up Keene, the second-in-command of Amity’s Emperor’s Coven group. She had given his number to them for strict emergencies.

He hadn’t seen her either.

“I’m going to go look for her,” Edric said, breaking Emira out of her train of thought and storming towards the door. “Something must have happened with mom and dad.”

“I’ll wait for her here,” Emira nodded. “I’ll call you if she--”

Right as Edric was about to open the apartment door, it swung open very aggressively.

“Amity!” The twins exclaimed.

The seventeen-year-old stood hunched in the doorway, head hanging and bangs covering her eyes. She was shaking, violently. She was still in her Emperor’s Coven outfit, as she had visited the Owl House first and didn’t have a spare change of clothes.

“Where have you been?” Edric asked worriedly, crouching down. She was always shorter than them. “We were worried sick!”

“Did something happen?” Emira added, getting off the couch. “Mittens?”

The girl raised her head, and the twins gave a sharp intake of breath.

Amity’s face was stained with tears, her eyes red and swollen. She had a dark, angry purple bruise on her left cheek, and was rubbing at her left wrist.

“What happened?” Emira demanded, shutting the door as Edric pulled Amity into the apartment.

“I-I,” Amity stuttered, fresh tears already beginning to leak from her eyes as her siblings gently led her to the couch and sat on either side of her.

“I didn’t mean to,” Amity sniffled, shoulders trembling. “I didn’t mean to say it, I didn’t, I--”

“Hey, hey, shh,” Edric comforted, holding her hands to stop her messing with her wrist. “Just tell us what happened, Amity.”

Amity took in sharp, shaky breaths for a few moments, trying to calm herself down.

“M-mom wanted me to c-come home,” She explained, though the twins already knew. “She...she told me it was because I left something there. I-I went over and...and,”

She bit her lip, holding back a cry as Emira gently placed a hand on her back.

“She got mad,” Amity said, her voice rattly. “She...she said she talked to Keene and-and he said I wasn’t spending as much t-time at the Coven as I said...he...he didn’t know--”

“Hey, we know, we know,” Emira said softly. “What else?”

“Sh-she demanded to know where I-I’d been,” Amity sniffled, holding herself. “I did...didn’t want to tell her, so I,” She inhaled. “I got mad...I got mad, I told her it wasn’t...wasn’t her business…I didn’t even really li-live with her…”

The twins fearfully glanced at each other. Nobody talked back to their mother. Not unless they wanted a death sentence.

Edric raised his hand and Amity flinched, and he felt a stab of pain in his chest.

He slowly, and genty, brushed his hand by her shoulder, right below where her bruise was.

“It...it didn’t go well,” Amity murmured, pulling off her gloves and revealing she had a bruise around her left wrist, looking like she had been sharply grabbed.

“Did mom do this?” Emira demanded quietly, gesturing to the nasty mark on her face.

Amity didn’t answer.

“She said sorry right after,” Amity mumbled, almost inaudible.

The twins stared, horror striking them to the core. Edric wrapped his arm around Amity’s shoulders, pulling her closer. She let him, sniffling.

“...you’re not going back there.” Emira decided. “I don’t care how many laws we break. You won’t.”

“I already told them,” Amity murmured, glancing over at her. “I...I said I was a member of the Emperor’s Coven and they, they couldn’t tell me what to do anymore…”

She lifted her unhurt hand to her cloak and withdrew Fang, her palisman, who was curled around her fingers and looked up at the twins.

“Eda showed me a re-recording spell before I left. They know I can use it if, if they try to get me back.”

Neither of the twins wanted to know what that snake had seen.

“Good, because you were never going to go back there to begin with.” Edric said firmly. “Well, no, no, not good, that’s probably not--”

Emira punched his arm and he winced, but obediently went quiet.

“What if she finds out I live here?” Amity asked quietly, curling closer into Ed’s shoulder. “She-she’ll try to do something. What if she cuts you off?”

“We don’t want anything to do with her anymore, I assure you.” Emira growled.

“You-you need the money,” Amity sniffled. “I know you do.”

“We can start making our own--” “Please,” Amity turned her head, giving her sister a scared look. “Please don’t cut off mom. She’ll do something worse.” She said, voice going quieter. “Not yet. You need it now. I’ll be okay.”

Emira wanted to argue, she really did.

But she couldn’t.

Getting jobs in this time of the Boiling Isles, and in this region, was tough. Especially for illusionists. They’d made a bit of money here and there, but a lot of their support came from their mother and father, who grudgingly handed it out so to make their children at least look like they were surviving on their own, for the public.

And it wasn’t like any of them could go to the coven just yet. In a real court battle, they knew their parents would win. They always would.

It was their public image that worried them. And for now, the Blight children had the upper hand.

They’d have to let the spider come to them. As horrifying as the thought of waiting sounded.

“Alright,” Edric related, drawing circles on her arm. “But you aren’t going anywhere near them. Not ever again. Do you understand?”

Amity didn’t respond. She just pulled herself closer to Edric, shuttering with the strain to hold back sobs.

Edric pulled her into a real hug, and Emira wasn’t far behind. They both murmured words of comfort as Amity muffled her cries in Edric’s shoulder, tense with the effort.

If this was what the Blight name meant, they didn’t want it.

[mermaidcashton]

if i knew you were comin’

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship/AU: ashton irwin/reader, baker AU  prompt: “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”  wordcount: 3344 warnings: swearing a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (in which we all chose from a list of AU’s and had the above prompt quote to include - check out the masterlist linked to see everyone elses!) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘if i knew you were comin' i'd've baked a cake’ by eileen barton  if i knew you were comin’ ***

It would have been a real cliché had it been pouring with rain, the first time you saw him. If an unexpected thunderstorm in June had sent you into the little hipster bakery by necessity, a beacon of shelter in the form of a black & white sign that said ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse’. As it was, you were simply hungry in the rich sunshine, miles from home, and a sucker for bagels. That wasn’t very rom-com, really. 

The cliché came in when you saw him for the first time; laugh bright on his face, flour in his pillar box red hair. You felt every love-at-first-sight trope possible in that moment; brass band playing, lightning striking, arrows piercing. 

But it was raining now - slowly but with determination from the grey September sky - and you felt it, still.

***

The old fashioned bell above the heavy door rang out as you pushed your way into the bakery, immediately feeling enveloped in warmth. You shook off the excess water pooling on your umbrella out of the open door before you let it close as gently as possible behind you, spinning back around to assess the scene before you.

The shop was an assault on the senses every time you visited; the smell of 50 different baked goods intermingling and somehow achieving a harmony in your nose, the sound of the eclectic playlist they kept adding to filling the shop, and the assault on the eyes came in the form of bright hanging lights, extensive art on the walls, and the staff themselves.  

“Hello, you! Get in here; it’s horrible out there!”

You smiled widely, genuinely, at the greeting. “Hey, Calum! How are you?” You replied, stepping up to the counter. Calum ran his hand over his very short blonde hair with a smile that you were sure accounted for at least 25% of their sales. Not that you’d know; only one of the co-owners kept you spending more than you could really afford on focaccia bread, and he was nowhere to be seen.

“Can’t complain, real-well, actually, I can,” Calum changed his mind mid-sentence, face growing indignant. “Ash went to drop the banking off at Natwest 30 minutes ago, and Luke was due 5 minutes before you walked in, and I’m dying for a piss, and I-” The bell above the door shook like a hurricane had just come through the door, and in the form of a 6’2” blonde streak of limbs, it kind of had. “Sorry, sorry, I’m he-woah!” Luke skidded across the shiny white floor on his damp black Converse, windmilling his long arms until he caught one of only three tables in the place, and brought himself to a jolting stop. 

Calum rolled his eyes. “This fucken’ guy.” He muttered, but you could see the fondness painted all over his golden brown face. “Luke, I need to pee; look after our best customer for me!” Calum bolted out from behind the counter, showing off his black tank top and pinstriped trousers as he pulled his black branded apron off on his way to the door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’ across the shop. You could hear his Doc Martens squeaking on the tiles as he disappeared through the door and Luke took his place behind the counter, chucking his backpack through the archway that attached the shop to the bakery’s kitchen.  “Ooh, Ashton won’t like finding your backpack in his kitchen when he gets back!” You tease, leaning onto the ledge that separates you from Luke. The absent baker was very particular about his immaculate commercial kitchen and everything in it, and you knew something would definitely be said about the fact that Luke’s wet backpack was now lying on the floor by the ovens. Calum had once told you about a time he had simply moved Ashton’s sourdough starter across the kitchen, and the incident that had followed (and lasted for three days). “Ooh, won’t he!” Luke cooed, tying his own D&S Bakehouse apron with a messy bow on his stomach. “You’d know, being our resident Ashton expert and all.” You felt the flush begin to bloom on your cheeks before you saw it reflected in Luke’s stupid stainless steel coffee machine. You stuck your chin out as defiantly as possible. “I don’t know what that means, and I also don’t care. I’d like a Flat White, please, barista!”  Luke clutched his chest with a large hand, gasping dramatically. “So harsh! My own job title! You missed ‘Retail Assistant’ and ‘Shop Hunk’, but I’ll forgive you because I know you’re having Ashton withdrawals right now. Haven’t seen you since last week, kiddo!” Opting to ignore his needling about the Ashton situation, you set your own backpack on the floor as you let out a sigh. “Yeah, it’s been a bit chaotic this week. But I said I’d try and come by today, and I can’t live without Calum’s doughnuts much longer, so here I am.” “Yeah, that’s definitely what you can’t live without.” Luke snorted, filling the portafilter with coffee grounds. The staff door swung open before you could respond, Calum sailing back into the bakery. “Does he come with an off switch?” You groaned, shaking your head at the bottle blonde as he laughed and groaned with you. “God, if he did, I’d use it so often he’d never be ‘on’.” “You love me, they love me, everybody loves me!” Luke sang at volume as the coffee machine began to grind and whir. Calum rolled his eyes as he shut the door to the counter. “The girls from the high school down the street love you, I’ll give you that, but that’s about it.”   “The boys, too.” Luke wiggled his eyebrows at you ridiculously, tapping the used coffee grounds into the bin with a flourish. You couldn’t help but giggle; you’d grown so fond of Luke and Calum in the three months you’d been visiting the bakery that you considered them friends. And as you started examining the case in front of you, filled with the most delicious looking cakes, pastries and doughnuts you’d ever seen, you thought that surely friends with access to coffee and baked goods were the best friends to have. “What are you thinking, love?” Calum asked, watching your eyes flick between peanut butter brownies and cinnamon rolls.  “I don’t know; everything always looks so good!” You whined. “I think I’m definitely in the mood for something sweet, though.” “I’m right here, baby!” Luke trilled as he placed a steaming cup on the counter, looking very pleased with himself. “Do I need to tell Michael about this flirty behaviour, Luke?” Calum teased. Luke shrugged, completely nonplussed. “If you want. He’s so hot when he gets jealous.” Calum rolled his eyes again as he made his way into the kitchen. “Luke, move your backpack before Ash gets back unless you want to get bollocked!” He called over his shoulder. “Uh oh, too late.” Luke groaned, looking past you through the glass of the shop front, moments before the shop bell sounded out for a third time. You would definitely play it cool and not turn around if it was anyone but Ashton; you swear, this man is actually magnetic. The Hall & Oates’ song coming from the speakers seems to slow down as he comes into your line of sight, like in every movie you’ve ever seen with a leading man half as gorgeous as this one. Ashton was wearing his signature black boots and ripped jeans, with a white tank top and the leather jacket that you were sure would smell just like him; flour, grapefruit, sandalwood and whatever he used to put his hair into any of the styles that drove you so crazy. Today he had that one styled curl falling onto his face, and right now it was soaked and sending a trail of water down to drop from his chiseled jaw.  “You took your time, bread boy.” Calum called from the kitchen, doing Luke a solid of hiding his backpack underneath the furthermost kitchen counter as he did. Ashton huffed out half a laugh, running both hands through his wet hair and bending forward to shake it off as much as he could. “I don’t even only bake bread! Why do you insist on calling me that? Especially in front of my favourite customer.”  Despite knowing that you were currently the only customer in the bakery, your brain immediately began questioning whether or not he was referring to you. Then, he straightened up with his arms high, hands slicking his red hair back, and looked straight at you with unwavering eye contact. “Hey.”  That one word, combined with those eyes and him looking like he was in 2020’s answer to a Whitesnake video dragged your heart straight into your throat.  “Hey.” You echoed, hoping you were imagining the slightly breathless quality to your voice. Ashton’s serious-supermodel face broke into his brightest smile - seemingly just for you - before he began to stride past you to head behind the counter, shrugging his wet jacket off as he went. “I see you’re sorted with a drink; what have you chosen to eat? Or is this a flying visit?” “I was just doing my usual, actually.” You replied, dragging your eyes away from the tattoos on his arms to glance back down at the many glass cases of treats. “Struggling to decide?” Ashton teased lightly, tying his apron strings into a bow at his waist. You giggled, feeling inordinately pleased that he knew exactly what you meant. “Well, my lattices should be cool by now. Cal?” Ashton called into the kitchen, where the sound of stand mixers could now be heard. You hadn’t even noticed Calum leaving the shop to bake in the back. As you realised Luke was also nowhere to be seen, the assistants’ head appeared from the side of the archway. “Calum says he is a very busy man and he thought you had things under control out here.” You frowned slightly, not understanding the inflection the blonde had put on ‘under control’. Must be a private joke; one that made Ashton steadily flush down his neck. “Shut up, Luke! I just want the top tray on the cooling rack by the main pantry, please.” Luke tapped his head with two fingers in an ‘aye aye, Captain’ gesture and momentarily vanished from view. Ashton cleared his throat, directing his words back to you. ���I thought you said you were going to try and come by today. I made Cherry & Custard Lattices earlier; you love cherry, right?” You didn’t know what to say, so opted to just stare back at Ashton in surprise until you saw doubt in his eyes. “Yes! I did, say that, and I do - love cherry. You remembered that?” The smile on your face felt like it was spread impossibly wide, over your cheeks and beyond.  “Of course! I’m glad you’re here, actually…” “Here you go!” Luke said, sounding almost gleeful as he put the tray of pastries on the worktop behind Ashton. Normally, you would expect Luke to arrange them in a space in one of the cabinets and carefully handwrite a little sign for them, but not today, apparently. He was already taking strides back to the kitchen to help Calum, throwing you both a look over his shoulder that was definitely cheeky. “Go get ‘em, tiger!” Ashton went so unbelievably red that it made his flush from before look like his natural skin tone. For lack of something to do with yourself in a confusing, slightly awkward situation that you didn’t fully understand, you picked up the coffee Luke had made for you and took a small sip. Ashton took a breath and seemed to steel himself for something. “I’ve got something to ask you.” He cocked his head slightly to one side before taking a slightly wistful tone. “Do you remember the day we met?” *** You looked up at the stark sign above the world’s most appetising window display. ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse’. It was a little after your usual lunchtime and you were starving. You’d never been to this place before, but you could see slices of puff pastry topped with everything you could imagine; asparagus, pesto, goats cheese, tomatoes, bacon, mushrooms - all topped with melted cheese, so that was that. You made your way through the glossy black door into the bakery, and were struck by how cool it looked inside. The main walls were exposed brick painted white, covered with a broad range of paintings, posters, sketches, photographs and signs. Black boards covered in white chalk writing detailing baked goods and hot drinks, opening hours and little doodles. Shelves with all manner of trinkets and decorations adorned any parts of the walls that there wasn’t something else. Sleek white tiles covered the floor, counters and the walls leading off to the restrooms and a door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’. There were ferns and succulents dotted around the place, and recycled glass bottles on a few black cafe tables with a single red rose in each. There were cases and displays of every kind of baked good you could imagine at the counter, running along the windows, and high above the worktops behind the counter. Stevie Wonder segued into Fleetwood Mac over the speakers in the corners,audible above the babble of noise of the customers already in the bakery.  A couple at the farthest table were tucking into big slices of two of the most incredible looking cakes you had ever seen in your life. At the till, a girl with a high ponytail and tiny denim shorts was taking a branded pastry box from a tall, skinny-but-somehow-broad guy. Another man with a black hat pulled low on his head brushed his fluffy blonde hair out of his eyes where he sat at one of the tables opposite the counter. He shot the staff member a beaming smile and a thumbs up, then returned his attention to the laptop open on his table. You eagerly made your way forward as the girl with the ponytail began to exit the shop. “Hi! I’m Luke, welcome to Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. What can I get for you?” The worker - Luke - greeted you enthusiastically with a toothy smile. His smile faltered slightly when you asked for an iced coffee to go with your lunch, but before you could think about it, he sprang into action as a second man appeared from an archway beside him, mid laugh. You divert your attention to the newcomer and your heart skips way more than a beat. He was, without question, the most beautiful human you had ever seen in your life. He was tall - though not as tall as Luke, but twice as broad. The muscles in his arms bulged through his t-shirt, and you could see tattoos on his arms and wrists. His hair was in a perfect quiff, and the brightest shade of red you could imagine. You noticed what appeared to be flour speckled across the top of it, and melted slightly more. His face was a set of perfect, sharp angles contrasting with the soft dimples in his cheeks as he laughed. You had never been so aware of every molecule of your own body. You felt tingly and numb and on high alert all at once. The urge to lick your lips was suddenly overwhelming. “How are you getting on, Luke? Did I hear an iced coffee order over Calum’s shenanigans back there?” His voice was like hearing a song on the radio that you haven’t heard in ages but always loved. Luke shook his head and played it cool, whilst the love of your life turned to you with a warm smile. “It’s Luke’s first day! Go easy on him. How is he doing?”  “Ashton! I know exactly what I am doing!” Luke sniffed, opening a cabinet door that turns out to be a freezer drawer and scooping ice with confidence. Ashton giggled again and held his hands up in surrender, shooting you another smile before heading around Luke and out onto the bakery floor. You unconsciously followed him with your eyes, across the room to the window cabinets where he began making adjustments to the display. He had to bend and lean to reach the very front, and after allowing yourself a few seconds to stare at his ass in tight, black jeans, you came to your senses and reluctantly diverted your eyes back to the counter. Luke leant conspiratorially towards the counter and you unconsciously mirrored his movement before he began to whisper to you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” He laughed as he straightened back up and steadied the coffee cup in his hand before continuing in an airy, cheerful voice. “I almost never do!” “I’m sure it’ll be great, don’t worry!” You reassured, casting an eye over the blender Luke was working with now. You were sure it would be. Probably. Your eyes traced the white printed branding that adorned the apron on Luke’s chest; a traditional tattoo style dagger and snake.  “Why Dagger & Snake?” “Oh, that’s a question for one of the bossmen! Ashton!” Luke called across the shop. “Yeah?” You jumped at the voice that came from right behind you, spinning around and coming face to face with Ashton wiping his hands on his apron. “Sorry!” Ashton apologised. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” A soft, genuine smile played on his lips as you took in just how hazel his eyes were. You felt like you’d just walked up a flight of 200 stairs. “The lady would like to know why you and Cal named this place Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. Oh, balls.” Something hit the floor behind you, but you paid it no mind as Ashton’s face lit up. “They go together, to mean a bunch of stuff, right? Kept seeing them at tattoo shops, together. They can symbolise healing, the Roman god of luck, good vs evil; loads of cool stuff. But always together; that’s me and Cal - Calum, my best friend, we own this place, 50/50. He got the dagger, I got the snake. Brothers, forever.” Ashton talked with such conviction, and pulled his t-shirt sleeve with enthusiasm as he held his arm out to you, showing you a stark black tattoo of a snake. “That’s so sweet.” You breathed out, without really thinking about it. He looked at you like he hadn’t expected that adjective, but like he was turning it over in his mind. “And cool!” you added, nodding slightly. “You think so?” Ashton smiled, pulling his sleeve back down, looking quietly pleased. You let a few seconds tick by in silence, looking into his eyes to see what you could see. It looked like the whole world. “Yeah, I do.”

***

“Um...I think so, yes.” You thought you were just about straddling the line between casual and so-nervous-you-could-honestly-throw-up-a-little. “I wanted to ask you this that day, but I thought I’d sound so creepy, and unprofessional, and I didn’t want you to think I was a freak, or that I did this all the time, but-” Unless you were projecting, Ashton looked as nervous as you felt. “Ashton, point! Get there!” Luke yelled gleefully from the kitchen, followed immediately by a sound that you were fairly certain was Calum smacking him upside the head. The yelp of ‘Ow!’ that followed it seemed to confirm your suspicions.  Ashton faltered slightly, looking embarrassed and mumbling something about ‘idiot’ and ‘fired’. “Ashton.” You reached out your hand and placed it on his where he was nervously drumming on the counter again before you even thought about it. You weren’t sure which of you was more surprised at your involuntary action.  Ashton raised his eyes back to you, peering at you with hope in his hazel eyes.“You think I could get your number? Take you out sometime?” You allowed yourself to smile, widely, genuinely, as you knew just how to answer. “Yeah, I do.” *** masterlist for the 5sos ficwriters collab  • my masterlist

[sankyeom]

stress naps

‣ summary: after kcon thailand, lana comes back to the dorms in desperate need of rest. ‣ pairings: 3racha x lana ‣ era: end of i am WHO / my pace era, right before i am YOU era ‣ lana (stray kids extra member au) masterlist

After the flight back from Thailand, Lana felt so exhausted she could almost pass out in the entrance of their dorm. Practicing for their special performance of It’s Raining at KCON, as well as preparing for their upcoming comeback had meant that the last month of work was fatiguing for all of Stray Kids, not just Lana alone.

“I’m so tired,” Lana whined, leaning against Chan instead of standing upright. Startled by the sudden weight, Chan stumbled before gently holding the girl up.

He laughed. “Don’t forget to do you hair and face mask,” Chan reminded Lana. For KCON, the hair stylists had temporarily dyed Lana’s hair lavender purple, since they needed to bleach it blonde for their next comeback but didn’t want to give the colour away yet. After having just dyed it red for their My Pace promotions, the stylists reminded Lana to regularly treat her hair with masks to keep it conditioned and healthy.

Lana groaned into her leader’s shoulder, glancing up at his amused eyes. “It’s not fair being a girl,” she sighed, eventually getting up and going to her room so she could take off her makeup and put on her masks.

If there was one complaint Lana had about the dorms, it was that she often felt a little lonely because she didn’t have a roommate. She understood that logistically, it made sense that the only girl got her own room. With their busy schedules, Lana often had to dress and undress in her room, and she also needed extra time in the bathroom to shave her legs, to her makeup, and other things that were expected of her as an idol.

This was why she tried to spend as much time as possible in other people’s rooms. Lana enjoyed the energy of being in a room filled with her members, especially after growing up with an older brother. Some of the members liked to spend time alone once they were in the dorms to recover from all the activities of the day, such as Seungmin and Jeongin. Most of the time, 3racha and the other 00s joined Lana because they always seemed to want company.

After changing into one of Chan’s long sleeved t-shirts – she often stole the member’s clothes because they were far more comfortable than most clothes made for women – Lana applied the hair mask into her long, faded-lavender hair and made her way into the living room. Pleased to see Changbin already sitting on the sofa, Lana lit up and took a seat next to him.

“Hi Binnie,” she greeted, handing him a sheet face mask to use. Changbin merely grunted, accepting the mask with a tired expression. “Do you want to watch the next episode of Are You Human Too?” Lana inquired. Her and Changbin often watched dramas together since Changbin often needed a cuddle buddy, and Lana was always happy to comply.

“You guys are still watching that show?” Jisung asked, taking a seat on the floor in front of Lana and grimacing as Lana pulled the show up. “I think the storyline is unrealistic. How can a robot be falling in love with a human?” he argued.

“So what?” Lana retorted, swatting the younger and frowning. “Who wouldn’t want to see Seo Kangjoon on the TV not once, but twice?” she said happily, having been smitten by the main actor in the show as soon as she first started watching.

Chan’s laughter sounded as he took the seat on Lana’s other side, handing a face mask to Jisung and starting to apply his own. “I don’t really care what we watch. Besides, it’s always funny to watch Lana enjoy dramas with actors she’s obsessed with,” he added.

Jisung frowned, taking the mask. “I guess,” he mumbled. “But if you start going on about how hot he is, I will complain and leave dramatically.”

“What else is new,” Lana said, turning on the newest episode as everyone started applying their face masks.

During the more uneventful scenes of the episode, Lana turned to Chan to speak with him. “How are you guys doing? And be honest. I know comeback album preparations are exhausting,” she added in a warning tone.

Chan grinned. “It’s okay, Lana,” he promised. “The album is coming along. It’s a little different, but I think it’ll mean a lot to Stay,” he explained. “What about you? I know you’ve had some photo shoot offers. Are you really going to take them all?” Chan wondered.

Lana shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s a good way to promote the group more. And I’m still a little awkward during shoots, so it would be good to get some practice with photographers that already have a concept and set outfits for me,” she thought aloud. “Why? Do you think it’s a bad idea?”

“No, I think it’s good if you want to,” Chan promised. “You’re the new face of JYP after all,” he teased the nickname that a lot of Stays had used for Lana. “Just don’t take on too many things at once if it overwhelms you.”

“I don’t know why anybody would want you in their magazine,” Changbin muttered next to Lana. This caused the girl to burst into laughter.

“Don’t worry Binnie. We know you’re the visual of the group, I’m not coming for your place,” Lana promised. “Dazed Korea actually wants to put me on the cover,” she confessed. “It’s an honour just to be invited to be in the magazine at all. I’m actually excited for it.”

“Then you should do it,” Jisung encouraged Lana, eyes bright as he turned around to face his three elders on the sofa.

“Yeah?” Lana smiled. “Thanks Jisungie,” they faced the screen again and Lana couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, my cover for Dazed is going to come out one month before his,” she motioned to Seo Kangjoon on the television, and her members burst out laughing.

As the episode went on, Lana could feel herself getting more sleepy. She also noticed the members next to her, Changbin and Chan, had quietened down from their usual banter and were leaning against her, heads lulling slightly.

Carefully, Lana leant forward to see their eyes firmly shut as her members were completely asleep around her. With a smile, she removed their face masks and her own before throwing them into one of the packets on the coffee table. Feeling warm and welcome surrounded by her favourite people, Lana tucked herself between them and allowed herself to fall asleep, thankful that her members spent time with her, knowing how she felt lonely in her bedroom.

note: i know it’s been a while since i posted any lana content!! lots more is coming soon now that i have this series planned out better

[thatordinaryoddity]

FINAL: Once In A Blue Goddamn Moon

a 💗 Jamie & Dani Fanfiction 💗 [The Haunting Of Bly Manor, Netflix 2020]

written by thatordinaryoddity

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475423/chapters/67277026

Rating: K+

Words: ~9,5k

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Status: Complete (will be uploaded in three chapters + Prologue)

Summary:   Jamie leaves Flora’s weeding more wrapped up in her thoughts than usual. In all those years, there hadn’t been a day without thinking of her deceased lover Dani. But sometimes, once in a blue goddamn moon, events coincide in an exceptional, odd way.

A/N: So guys, that's it, we're done - THE END! Hope you liked it at least a little :) Actually, I haven't written anything in YEARS but this pairing stole my heart and I just needed a coping mechanism! *sobs* Because their story is quite dramatic in the show, I decided against something too fluffy and kept that overall drama feeling. Also, I like  dramatic stuff over pure romance when it comes to my reading and writing preferences. But each to their own I guess.

As always - stay awesome, stay healthy and leave me any form of feedback as it is very much appreciated! ps. the "dear" in the chapter title isn't a spelling mistake. It's on purpose.

The Dear In The Headlights

____________________

 The day had already begun when Jamie was finally able to stand back up from the ice cold concrete floor. All these hours crying left her eyes reddened and her head aching. The dull feeling inside her head and the emptiness in her chest were suddenly there again – stronger than ever before. She let one last gaze wander across the rooftop garden, in hope of finding Dani still around somewhere, but was disappointed and decided to head back inside the apartment. Teddy was still sleeping on the couch next to his wheelchair. Jamie took the check patterned blanket and covered the old man up to his neck. She wondered if he had noticed the happenings in the night or slept through all of it. Either way, she wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. Without further ado, she quickly took her coat and scarf and left the apartment.

The air was suddenly cold again, just like everything around and inside her was cold now - her lungs were frozen, her heart was frozen even more. Her hands, which were warmed by her lover’s only a few hours ago, had also turned to blocks of ice. Breathing in that chill air felt hard as there was a stinging feeling inside her chest.

The sun had already started to brighten the quiet lane she was walking along, which was so nicely framed by autumn coloured trees. Jamie could already tell it was going to be a beautiful day, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it with all the sadness inside her. All the happiness and joy in her life seemed to have vanished along with Dani that fateful morning.

Her head was so full of thoughts. The green-eyed woman tried to recall every moment she had spent with Dani that night. She tried to ingrain the memories inside her brain, inside her flesh, to make sure, they would remain as vibrant as they were. She kept trying to tell herself that Dani wasn’t gone, that she would always be there, but still, it couldn’t even compare to actually holding her beloved in her arms.

Despite the good transport connections from Teddy’s place to her own apartment and the chilly autumn air, Jamie decided to walk. It wasn’t far, only about fifteen minutes by foot, and the route was lovely and quiet. Maybe, the fresh air could take her thoughts off last night.

She came by the little park again. She had always loved this spot for its sad, romantic vibe and she had always felt attracted to it because of that. Through the colours of autumn the little park seemed like a painting, almost too kitschy to her. A while ago, she had started to dislike the colder seasons because all the plants and flowers would go to sleep, leaving her more depressed than usual. That day, however, that colourful autumn decay somehow called to her in a bittersweet way. She stood there, in front of the park, just for a few minutes, thinking how pretty all of that would have been with Dani by her side.

Back when her lover had still been with her, she had liked all the seasons. She hadn’t cared if it was snowing or raining outside since Dani used to be the sunshine in her life, keeping her warm and happy. As she continued her walk home, Jamie wondered if she would ever be able to get over this loss of not being able to fall asleep next to Dani, of having dinner all alone, of admiring colourful trees in the charming park by herself. And in her mind she knew that the answer would be no. Never.

She was almost home - if she had been paying attention she would have been able to see her house up the street. Despite her trying, the walk hadn’t helped much to silence her thoughts. They were still screaming and rampaging around inside her head, so loudly, that she didn’t even hear that deep, loud honking noise behind her. It was there, two or maybe three times, before she was finally pulled out of her thoughts and looked behind her. But it was too late by then, and Jamie was already staring right into the bus driver’s eyes. A split-second later, her surroundings darkened and all she could feel was a dull pain when her body hit the ground hard.

She didn’t understand what was going on. It felt like she was slipping into a deep sleep, but she could hear outraged voices that seemed far away. Then she felt someone touching her and it hurt. She opened her eyes, just a smidge, and saw faces before a background of blue sky above. Those people kept talking to her but she couldn’t catch what they were saying. She turned her head and saw blood streaming next to her. The pool of blood slowly increased its size and her eyes darkened again.

~

Red.

It was as if her whole surroundings were tinted in that faded reddish colour. As if a sheer haze lingered over her mind and body. As if she had developed some sort of colour-blindness. Every contrast and every detail were there, but it seemed like some sort of strange, twisted, alternate reality.

Red.

The colour was faded and vibrant at the same time, it was dark like a rose but also bright like the warmth of a chimney fire. It was like a restless dream, like a headache, like a buzz, like a lover’s first kiss – a feeling like your knees were about to give in. She looked down to her feet, scrutinizing her body. Placing one hand on the back of her head.

Red.

She herself was dyed in that colour. Her clothes, her skin. And all felt so dull, so empty, so hollow. Her ears rang in a deep pitch, her whole head seemed to vibrate. The other hand raised in front of her face, she looked past her fingers which were slowly moving, trying to wake herself up from this reverie. Was she dreaming? Was this even real?

Red.

She turned, noticing that there was absolutely nothing. Just one instant earlier, she was standing there beside that suburban lane, surrounded by trees painted in those beautiful auburn colours from the onset of autumn. Those gloomy streetlamps just there, about to go to sleep, as the new day had already awoke. She turned again, more hectically this time. And again there was only this colour which seemed to have devoured everything around her.

Red.

Then, suddenly, this strange noise inside her head stopped, shattered like glass as it was interrupted by a voice, unknown yet somehow familiar. She turned again, trying to figure out where the voice had echoed from in all this nothingness. And the red was gone.

“I’m surprised to see you here!”

Frowning, she eyed the young man in front of her. Even if she had never seen him in person, only on a few old pictures, she knew exactly who he was. Nevertheless, she somehow didn’t understand why she was here, in that pitch black nothingness, with him. And she tried to figure out why the hell he seemed to know who she was.

“Where am I??” she asked quite frantic. “What’s this all about??”

With a smirk on his face, the man adjusted his circular spectacles: “You tell me. I bet you know what this is all about. Actually, I’m not allowed to tell you… you have to grasp that on your own, I’m afraid.”

“I… Am I… dead??” She touched the back of her head again, suddenly remembering all the pain she had felt, just a second ago it seemed. The memory of the accident flushed over her.

“That… bus…” Jamie was talking more to herself than to the man in front of her. “The people, all the panic… all the blood!” Red – the word echoed inside her brain. Shocked, she suddenly looked directly into the man’s eyes. “I am dead, aren’t I??”

“Wow… you’re very quick! It took me months to figure that out!” Slowly, he took a few steps towards her. “So yeah, your brain was mushed… but it’s not that bad!” He laughed as if it was the most common small talk between them. “It was the same with me really, but don’t worry - you won’t be able to tell, there won’t be scars at all! Maybe your vision will blur now and then, but it’s nothing you couldn’t get used to. At least, that’s what it’s like for me.” The young man touched the back of his head as well, smiling friendly at Jamie. “So… welcome to the limbo!” With a grin, he stretched his arms out in front of him, slightly bowing, as a gesture of welcoming her. “It’s a pretty boring place to be honest…” He rolled his eyes and looked around into the black nothingness surrounding them.

Jamie was quite confused and couldn’t believe that the scene presented to her was real. What the hell was she doing here? Was this the afterlife? Was that really all there was to it??? Heavily blinking, she faced the man: “What are we doing here? Why are we here together?? Are we stuck?”

As he was slowly pacing up and down in front of her, he laughed once more, adjusting his glasses again like it was some sort of nervous tick: “Again… you tell me! I honestly don’t know why you’ve ended up here. I would’ve thought you’d pass on the very minute you died!” He eyed her through the rim of his glasses. “Normally, the only thing preventing you from passing on is if there’s still something you have to take care of… So I dunno…”  

Jamie was thinking hard. Could he be right? Was there still something she had to do? Her eyes wandered to this man… What was his name again? Edward? No… Eddie?… Edmund! But that insight didn't get her much further. Why am I here??

“I… I don’t know…” She really didn’t. No matter how hard she tried, Jamie couldn’t make sense of what she was supposed to do and why she had stranded here. Suddenly, she remembered the words the young man in front of her had said when she appeared: “How the bloody hell did you know who I was??” she snapped. With a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes, she fixated the man like prey.

“Wow, easy! I’m not your foe!” With a sheepish grin, he took a step back. “I’ve seen you… years ago, one of the many times I’ve visited her… Danielle. That’s when I realised that you and her were… you know…” Suddenly, his stupid smile faded and Jamie could see that there was a great deal of sadness in his eyes. She knew that sort of look, knew it very well, as it was the same expression she used to see when she stared at her own reflection in water surfaces. It was the look of a broken heart, of deep desperation and longing for a love that could no longer be, and it spoke volumes to her when she recognised it on the young man’s face. Slowly, her purpose here became very clear to Jamie and she understood why she had ended up here with Edmund: This was about Dani. The green-eyed woman felt it in her bones, like some kind of instinct. She wants me to do this, to sort things out for her, because she wasn’t able to. That’s why I’m here with him. I need to let him know he has to move on, away from this place.

“Well, mate…” she began, “…some things are just not meant to be! Sometimes, you just have to move on and… you know… accept things as they are.” With an understanding, faint smile she looked at the man who was staring down at his feet. “Dani was haunted by you! You scared her by showing up, and you wouldn’t stop. You made it a lot harder for her to deal with what had happened, because you wouldn’t let go…”

The man took off his glasses and started to rub his eyes, his movement was followed by a silent sob. “I know, but I missed her so much! She was the love of my life and suddenly she locked me out. It was just too much to bear, and then the accident happened…But even now, I’m still not able to talk to her because she’s keeping me out… I just can’t get to her!”  

Jamie came closer to the man, carefully placing her hand on his shoulder: “Dani loved you, I’m sure of it, but… sometimes people change! At some point in your lives, you were in love but that time is gone. And if the accident hadn’t happened, I’m certain that Dani would still love you to this day, only in a different way… you know… like family. There really isn’t much to do about it… it just wasn’t meant to be. And I swear to God that you will always be a part of her heart, but maybe not in the way it used to be…”

With another sob, he looked into the green eyes: “Thank you… I can see why she has chosen you. But I’ll never stop loving her!”

“I know… neither will I. But still, you have to let her go, Edmund! Or do you really want to spend the rest of eternity in this ugly place? Let go… search for a happy memory to live in and unravel those knots you have tangled yourself in!” The man slowly started nodding his head as he wiped the tears from his eyes, putting on his spectacles again: “You’re right… Now that you are here too, Danielle will continue to block me out either way… but you, you should go to her now.” He tried to hold his head up high, tried to seem stronger than he was in that very moment.

Jamie felt deepest empathy for the man, because somehow, they both shared the same fate, with the only difference being that her love for Dani wasn’t a dead end. Unlike Edmund, she already knew which happy place would await her on the other side, that she would finally be reunited with her lover again. However, both of them knew what grief and loss and pain truly meant.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll go now… and you… you should do the same!” said Jamie.

He nodded again, raising his hand to her to say goodbye: “Give her my regards!”

“I will.” she replied, watching another ghostly figure fade away in front of her.

~

It was a sunny summer’s day, the meadows and fields that surrounded the old house blossomed and showed their most beautiful colours, a mild breeze of air was swaying the corn. Everything seemed calm and familiar, the world seemed in order.  

Jamie sat on the soft, grassy ground and reclined against the strong, centuries-old trunk of the willow behind her. Her eyes were wandering over the wide wheat field which was coloured golden by the sunbeams. Right next to it lay a field full of cornflowers, blooming in the deepest blue. The panorama was amazing and was soothing to her mind.

In the near distance, the young woman saw her lover in the fruit orchard, picking apples for the strudel she wanted to make later. Her shiny blonde hair was a nice contrast to the red apples that one could even spot from afar on the trees.

A happy smile formed on her lips when she saw Dani in that lovely overall and with the sweet little straw hat on. The beauty of the scene made her heart beat faster. How lucky she was to have this wonderful, kind human being around her. The brown-haired woman never knew it was possible to love someone as much as she loved Dani. She was her moon, her sun and her stars all wrapped into one person and she couldn’t be happier about them being together again – about them leading the ‘life’ they had always dreamed about.

After a while, Dani took note of the glances from her lover, so she gleefully grinned and waved to her: “Do you care to give me some company, picking those apples?” Jamie grinned widely. “I’d love nothing more than that, Poppins!”

And they continued to be happy forever in this memory they had created for themselves many, many years ago, when they both were young and full of dreams.

The End.

[leninouche]

Some Les Mis observations I made today as I watched the show at the Sondheim Theatre in London. Hope you enjoy!

- jean valjean is SOFT his voice is soft and silky and i love him

- THEY INCLUDED PETIT GERVAIS IM DLWNLDSLL

- At the „you know what that means“ „yes it means i‘m free“ „NO“ they made it as if Javert said no to keep a guard from hitting Jean and I‘ve never seen that before??

- The confrontation was LIT i mean it was ON they FOUGHT and it was amazing I loved it a lot

- Javert‘s overpronounciating everything and it‘s perfectly in character (but his french is terrible)

- His OUTFIT (tight black pants and boots, blue coat and ponytail, he hot)

- Very high Tension ™️ between Javert and Valjean, they „held hands“ for approximately a minute straight

- After Javert told Valjean about „this con man he once knew“ he went off-stage. Valjean kept tense for a long moment. Then face-palmed while he sung: „he thought that man was me without a second glance“ as if to say: ughgh javert is SO embarassing!

- The thenardiers are excellent and very much in character, amazing

- Okokok paris scene was good but THEN ENJOLRAS APPEARED AND I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS MAN NOT READY

- he had beautiful blond curls and was wearing a violet coat with a red waistcoat

- Marius is a Dork ™️ he‘s living the dumb dumb life

- My god, Enjolras talked to the poor people around and to his friends and he was genuinely concerned and attentive

- When the Thenardiers attacked Jean, Cosette fell to the side a bit and nearly got robbed by Montparnasse, but Marius sprung in between them. Monty continued to threateningly wield is small little pocket knife at a very distressed and scared Marius

- Montparnasse is excellent btw, long black hair and tailored clothes, he cute tho

- Ponine and Cosette are both awesome and I enjoy them so much. Cosette hit the high notes flawlessly and Ponine‘s end of On my Own was luminous

- Jean let his tissue drop when he ran away with cosette and Javert picked it up. Is that a UF tissue reference??? He even smelled it

- THE AMIS SCENE I AM

- grantaire gave his all, he even danced a little

- When Marius started singing about Cosette all the amis shouted at him to shut up in a joking manner

- Enjolras is the BEST omg he is genuinely excited and soft and laughs at Marius and enjoys his friends a lot, I love him so much. And his voice is SOFT and beautiful, he is beautiful and one of my favorite Enjolraii ever

- They had Vicky Hug‘s aquarelle paintings as background

- Gavroche is GREAT, he really lives his role and does little dances and gestures

- Stars was just utterly beautiful. Javert was super excited about the stars in the first part, it was very adorable, and the second part was just his voice filling the damn hall, straight into my heart god he was so good

- Omg omg a heart full of love was great. Ponine and Marius heard some of the conversation between jean and cosette, then when they were gone Marius climbed into the garden. That idiot threw a stone at Cosette‘s window what the heck, cosette came out, then suddenly ran away excitedly when she saw who it was- Marius didn‘t understand what was happening and that‘s when he sang: I‘m doing everything all wrong. It was great.

- Also great romeo and juliet reference with the balcony

- My god, the robbery. Montparnasse was just squatting on the fence the whole time, like a bird. What the fuck. He got to wield that little knife of his again as well

- I don‘t know if it‘s real or if i‘m imagining things but during one day more Enjolras looked up and in my direction and smiled and i smiled back and i hope he was looking at me and that i didn‘t just imagine it

- i forgot what awkward props muskets are

- At the barricade Enjolras jumped down the different levels with such speed and grace i am honestly Amazed

- Grantaire kept to the side the whole time, cowering on the floor or sheltering Gavroche

- Just- Javert‘s face when Gavroche called him out was heavenly. And when he was done, Gavroche literally flipped Javert off. Legend.

- Javert‘s undercover outfit was very cute and his hair was open

- They had literal torches on stage

- Ok at the beginning of drink with me they played a flute- feuilly reference??

- After Grantaire‘s solo Enjolras came up to console him but Grantaire pushed him away and retreated to the background again, with his face to the wall. Gavroche approached him and then pulled him into a hug, they went to sleep side by side

- Towards the end of Rain will make the Flowers grow, Gavroche noticed Ponine dying and froze which in turn made Grantaire notice what‘s going on. He signalled to the other barricade people to shut up and pay some respect and they watched on silently as the song finished

- The guy who i think was feuilly had a girlfriend which i assume was musichetta? They were adorable

- When Gavroche had climbed over the barricade, Grantaire froze with his face to the audience and waited with bated breath for the sound of a shot. When it came, he nearly collapsed until he heard Gavroche singing again. He ran towards the barricade and shouted something like: GO ON KID, HURRY UP. When Gravroche appeared at the top of the barricade he was shot. He fell into Enjolras‘ arms who in turn handed him to Grantaire. As the fighting ensued, Grantaire slowly carried Gavroche over to the side of the stage, seemingly unaware of shots being fired

- Next encounter between Valjean and Javert was intense again, and then Valjean uttered the softest „go“ ever as he stared into Javert‘s eyes

- Usually i don‘t quite enjoy Bring me Home but this Valjean did an awesome job, his singing was so mellow and emotional

- At the barricade, Enjolras was the first to die and he fell over the barricade into the void, and Grantaire was the last to die. He got shot in the head.

- When the barricade got cleared away and Javert inspected the grounds a cart was wield up on which Enjolras was half lying half hanging off it. They put Gavroche‘s body on top of him and pulled them off-stage

- Javert‘s suicide was fucking weird. The song was great, but when he jumped off the bridge they added a bit of animation in the background and lifted him up slightly with the help of ropes so that you saw him fall from different angles but... it just didn‘t work, it was more funny than dramatic

- During turning the women placed candles on stage. One woman began to cry and a small girl (who earlier had played cosette) gave her her handkerchief. It was really sweet. During Empty Chairs the boys came onstage and each took one candle, together with Marius

- During the wedding-feast the actor that had played Enjolras was one of the waiters and he was hilarious, even though the role was so small

- After bowing, as they ran off-stage, Enjolras made a heart sign with his hands

- And bonus: as the applause thundered through the theatre, Jean Valjean and Cosette were the last on stage. Jean carried Cosette in his arms and just stood there for a while, grinning. Then the curtain fell.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

@birdyfreedomsworld​ Tysm!! I’m so glad you enjoyed our work as usual!!

And lord almighty set me free where do I even begin with that jealousy Comte event. I swear my only coherent reaction to it is LOUD INHALE as I try to process how unreal the man is.

You ever just see your old time friend protect your wife from a danger he created (Leonardo if you don’t clean your room I am going to skewer you on that globe) and literally go FULL FUCKING FERAL ABOUT IT. YOU EVER JUST DO THAT. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT LE COMTE DID AND I’M TOTALLY NOT ASTRAL PROJECTING.

I’ll probably make it later but Comte is literally that meme that’s like. Comte!!!!!! loves!!!!!!! Baguettes!!!!!!!!!! Comte!!!!!!!! loves!!!!!!!!!! MC!!!!!!!!!! Comte!!!!!!!!! loves!!!!!!!!!!!!! sees a single threat to his relationship with MC as her lover REVOLUTION.

He just. The way he conveys that shit is the highlight of my entire life. The savagery. The complete, absolute disregard for anything but possessive horny. I gained entire years of my life from the exchange?????? I’m crying???????????????

AND THE FACT THAT MC WAS DYING FROM HORNY RIGHT BACK!?!?! L E G E N D A R Y. GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO STAN FOREVER, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

For anybody that might be curious and isn’t sure what I’m referring to, I’m gonna clarify under the cut, so pls don’t open it if you don’t want spoilers!!! I want to make sure I don’t ruin anyone’s experience, tyty <3

So essentially we are the MC living our best life minding our own business when suddenly a wild Leonardo appears (sadly no pokeballs today kids, we loyal thots). MC goes to bring a thing to his room and he’s like “cara mia, come in carefully” so naturally MC barges inside and nearly gets demolished by a stack of books as tall as the Eiffel Tower.

Cue Leonardo being himself and leaping on top of her to take the brunt of the books falling, checking on her when it’s over. Comte comes along like merciful heavens, Leonardo, what was that? Are you all ri--

Kill Bill sirens.

Before MC can explain, Leonardo’s bastard instinct kicks in and he pours gasoline on an already raging fire like. What if I. Make Comte. Go actually insane with jealousy. And so he does (says something along the lines of like ARA ARA A COMPROMISING POSITION WOULDN’T YOU SAY) and Comte just. Sighs. And is like MC don’t worry about it, are you all right? Okay then, Leonardo clean up after yourself, see you both later.

I would like you all to know that as I was translating this my exact response to this situation was: “LEONARDO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, WHOSE FUCKING MANS IS THIS--HE SURE AIN’T MINE” The difficulty of being a Leonardo stan is that you love him but also sometimes you just really want to shake him a bit. Moving right along.

And MC is just. Huh. He didn’t get jealous?? Guess I should have seen that coming (because she’s an idiot). And so when she’s trying to tell Leo off he’s like “hey hey don’t get mad cara mia, I just like to push his buttons now and again, like seeing him lose his composure.” And MC squints like sounds fake but okay, doesn’t really understand what he means.

Enter, the next scene.

MC still feels uneasy about the whole thing and so she goes searching for Comte after she gets most of her work done, as one does. She finds him at the dining table, staring into a tea cup (I shit you not I read this and all I heard in my head was wAKE ME UP). And she’s like ???? Comte, I uh, I’m sorry about-- And he just smiles gently and shakes his head, repeats that he’s fully aware Leo was just messing around inappropriately. That it’s no biggy.

I must interject to say, in the tone of the “science is a liar sometimes” meme, COMTE IS A LIAR SOMETIMES.

And so MC, with the emotional intelligence of a brick once again, laughs a little and is like “I should have known better than to worry, you’re too mature to let a little mishap like that get to you, haha.” And then. His expression. DROPS. Swear to god you can hear the record scratch sound effect. And he gets deadly, deadly serious. She says his eyes burn suddenly with passion like they only do when they’re alone, and he replies “.............not let it get to me?”

And she’s like w h. And he advances, and it says the click of his Oxford shoes (DRAMATIC YELLING I LOVED THIS DETAIL) strike the floor one, by one, by one. He continues, and this line singlehandedly killed me, “I remember saying that I understood what happened. I never said I didn’t care.”

AND THEN HE KISSES HER SENSELESS. IN THE DINING ROOM. NO HOLDS BARRED. NO MERCY. FOR SEVERAL MINUTES.

Of course, Leonardo being the cockblock that he is comes stomping down the hall (when I tell you I had Shigezane war flashbacks WHEN I TELL YOU--) Comte finally relents and murmurs at her ear that they’ll finish this later. Leonardo comes in like OOPSY DID I INTERRUPT and I’m pretty sure Comte is inches from beating Leonardo with his teacup. But I digress.

There is a scene after that that’s hilarious where Leo’s like DAMN SON you really did a number on poor cara mia. And Comte just snaps back “And whose fault is that, asshole.”

The event essentially ends with Comte railing her senseless--as any Comte stan dreams of--and some of the things he says are just unreal. The absolute, soft possessive borderline yan energy obliterates me. He is so much kids. HE IS SO MUCH. He essentially tells her that the last thing he wants to do is stop her from living freely and interacting with everyone as usual, because he does consider them family. But at the same time the very prospect of sharing her with anyone literally destroys him on the inside so naturally the solution is to stake his claim until she passes out.

It’s a little funny because the morning after he feels SO bad about it. He’s stroking her hair and asking if he was too rough or went too far and MC is just blissed out like the legend she is. She mentions wanting to see his full honest self--all of his feelings, no matter how intense--and so he’s like is that so? And then does her all morning too because he’s also literally a legend that loves his wife more than anything else in the entire world, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

If you managed to get through even half of that I salute you, comrades, I’ll be here drinking my pina colada and dying over the fact that this man ain’t real. Some bullshit. And yes I do love dancing in the rain

[tirednotflirting]

i am missing you more than i should (guess i'm not out of the woods)

i attempted to post this to ao3 and then the page crashed so tumblr gets some rights today i guess.

this is another addition to the maisie thing i’m working on. title and inspo from look at me now by maisie peters 

read here on ao3 if you wanna

(it’s kinda emo i apologize)

It’s a cold November night when Luke sees Calum again.

Despite the outdoor temperature being displayed on his phone screen, Luke is warm from the alcohol in his belly and the bodies milling around the bar. He’s ordered a drink to feel natural in his current setting but it’s just soda and lime. He’s stepped into this place to wait for Ashton to come pick him up. He had read one top many horror stories about ride share apps and young drunken people and now always gripes at Luke for not calling him for a pick up on a night out. So after watching all of his friends (though that’s kind of a stretch for the people he frequents clubs with) head off into the night, Luke wandered to the place he currently sits at, feeling drawn to the little dive bar he hasn’t been to in ages and sent Ashton his location.

It’s while he’s waiting for his drink that he remembers why he was drawn to this bar. This is Calum’s place. Luke can’t even think up how many pairs of hands he would need to count the number of times they had stumbled into this place, laughing with their arms around each other while tripping their way up to the bar. It’s close to the complex Calum had been living in while they were still in school. Seeing him here now at the other end of the bar, the glitter in his eyes shining even though they’re not taking a single glance in his direction, makes Luke wonder if Calum’s stuck around this area of town.

Because of course Luke wouldn’t know. Luke hasn’t said a single word to the man in ages, hasn’t seen him in probably a year and a half at this point. (He’s tempted to pull out his dying phone to find the last text messages they exchanged to track the time but he knows Ashton probably deleted their messages during one of the many times he ended up on the other man’s couch with tears raining down his cheeks.) 

We want different things. That’s what Calum had told him. Luke wanted to see the world. They were about to graduate, he wanted to see everything and he wanted to see it all with Calum. The idea of settling any part of his still mess of a young life scared the hell out of him. Luke wanted to run but he wanted to do it with Calum’s hand holding his own. Calum was so practical, his mind somehow years ahead of Luke’s. They were graduating, it was time to slow down, he was always trying to explain to the boy he’d laughed with and loved for the last four years. The speeds they were trying to live their lives at during those last few months pretty much started pulling them in opposite directions, Luke supposes. Though that didn’t change how much it hurt the day he returned to his apartment to find a box of his clothes and belongings sitting in front of the door with a little note tucked into the side.

Luke had stuck to his plan. It was only in the last couple of months that he’d returned to the city and found a job more permanent, reconnected with Ashton who had stuck it out in the area for law school. He had seen so many places, so many people, so many pairs of brown eyes that had him nearly chasing after strangers on the other side of the world. He hadn’t dared to try to love someone else but eventually his brain stopped trying to play tricks on him to make him see what he had lost because he couldn’t just slow down. Eventually he didn’t wake every morning expecting to see someone curled up beneath the sheets beside him or to walk into the kitchen to find the ever studious business major drinking from the blue mug with the chip in the handle as he checked the news on his phone

Though from what he could see down the bar, Calum hadn’t been on his own since Luke saw him last. Or at least he wasn’t right now. 

Luke watches a laugh escape Calum’s lips while he reaches for his glass on the bartop (always a whiskey man, Luke was never not teasing him for his old man drink preferences). He takes a sip and then raises his brows, his lips moving to ask a question Luke can still hear rolling off his tongue if he thinks back hard enough. He watches the glass get passed along to the blonde sitting in front of him and facing away from Luke. The glittering in Calum’s eye changes some as his bottom lip gets pulled between his teeth while a smirk forms on one side of his face. Luke can see the other man’s shoulders rise slightly in response to taking the sip and he wonders if the scrunched up face he used to pull when sipping Calum’s liquor is anything like this new man’s. He figures it must be as Calum’s face softens in a still vaguely familiar way and Luke watches him lean forward to press a kiss to the blonde’s cheek while a hand lifts to cover the other. 

Luke squeezes his eyes shut and forces his face away from the couple. He takes a sip of his soda before shrugging his denim jacket from his arms, the bar suddenly feeling far too warm. He’s reaching for his phone in the pocket of his jacket, ready to send Ashton an SOS to get him to hurry along, when a soft voice behind him nearly throws him to the opposite side of the bar. “Luke?”

He jumps as he spins in the stool he’s seating in, Luke’s eyes suddenly meeting the ones he’s been searching for in every corner of the world. He used to spend hours lying awake thinking about this exact moment, about what it would be like to speak again for the first time with his lost great love. (If Ashton were able to hear him thinking that he would scold Luke for being so dramatic. You’re literally 24. Calm down, Luke.) “Hi, Calum,” he returns, praying his voice isn’t as shaky as it feels. The name feels foreign on his tongue and he can’t tell if he’s thankful for that or not.

“How’re you doing, man?” Calum asks, a small smile playing at his lips. “It’s wild to see you in here, not gonna lie. Thought you were still off somewhere with your wanderlust.”

Luke tries to be as subtle as he can as he reaches for his wrist to pinch himself since he’s not entirely sure he believes this moment to be real. He coughs and shakes himself out of his daze. He’s got to be an adult about all of this, he’s a grown up now. “Yeah, I moved back a couple months ago. Was starting to really stress out Mom with the whole travel thing. I’ve moved in with Ashton, if you remember him? He helped me get this admin job at the law firm he’s interning at.”

“Of course I remember Ash!” Calum beams. Luke wonders if he’s also playing at being cool but then he remembers that Calum actually had the guts to walk over to him so maybe this is just a part of being settled down. “Happy for you, Luke. Sounds like a good set up.”

Luke ignores the nostalgia threatening to cloud up his mind at the sound of his name falling from Calum’s lips a second time. “You still working for Donny then?”

“I am! He gave me like, a month after grad to chill before I got back to my old desk with a stack two feet high of files,” Calum laughs and Luke finds himself doing the same. Calum’s internship boss had always been fond of them together. Donny had once helped Luke get flowers delivered for their third anniversary. He was a good guy. “Actually, just got promoted to Managing Financial Advisor earlier this week. Was here, uh, celebrating tonight wit-”

“Hey Cal, thought I lost you there.”

The blonde Luke had only seen the back of before steps into view, his hand dropping to Calum’s back. He’s just barely shorter than Calum, though that’s likely due to the boots the latter is wearing. His eyes are wide and a pale green, like leaves in early spring. Luke wants to hate him but he can’t. This guy looks pretty nice, unfortunately. 

“Sorry, love,” Calum replies softly, his hand lifting subconsciously to push hair from the other man’s eyes. It’s an action Luke remembers fondly (and somewhat painfully, if he’s being honest with himself). “Found a familiar face. Michael, this is Luke. Luke, this is Michael.”

Michael’s eyes widen just the slightest bit. Luke isn’t surprised. He can basically guarantee that he’s sitting right at the top of Calum’s ex-boyfriends to discuss list. They spent nearly all of undergrad together. If Michael’s been around for even a little bit it makes sense that he’s heard about Luke. “Nice to meet you, mate.” 

“Yeah, you too.” Luke accepts the hand being offered to shake. The whole situation feels way too formal but also dazed. Though Luke is still drunk and there’s way too many memories dancing through his mind of nights out with Calum and nights in with Calum and Calum Calum Calum. 

“Well,” Calum starts, his hand moving to rest lower against Michael’s back. “Our Uber is here but I’m glad I saw you Luke. Take care of yourself.”

Luke nods and wishes them both the same in a small voice while they wander away from him. He can’t hear it but based on the worried look he can see on Michael’s face as they head for the door and the way he wraps his arm more firmly around Calum’s waist, Luke knows he wasn’t the only one faking a brave face. 

(He allows himself a moment to give into memory then as he thinks back on one of the last times he was headed out of this bar with Calum. It was early February, just a week and change past Calum’s birthday. The air is cold enough to see their breaths as they giggle and bumble about their new courses. Calum keeps lifting Luke’s hands between his own to blow warm air onto them to keep them warm as they head in the direction of his apartment. 

When they finally make it up to the third floor and through Calum’s door, they both kick off their boots. Luke’s gone for his easier to remove ones so he has a moment to lean against the door while laughing as Calum pulls at the laces of his Docs. Once removed, Calum steps over to Luke, his arms looping around his waist while Luke’s drop to hang over his shoulders. Their laughter dies out as they sway back and forth slightly in the entryway. 

“God, I love you,” Luke sighs as he drops his forehead to Calum’s. “Never want to stop loving you.”

“Please don’t.” Calum laughs gently before turning his head so their lips press together. 

Whether it's seconds or hours that they stand there kissing while holding each other in the dull entryway light, Luke doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. All that matters is that Calum never lets go.)

Luke’s phone buzzes on the bartop, a text from Ashton appearing to alert him that he’s waiting in the lot out front. Luke tips back the last of his soda and shouts a thank you to the bartender. He pulls on his jacket and heads in the direction of the door.

He turns for a moment before reaching to push through back out into the cold. He glances around the open room, quick moments of memories playing out in front of him from the years before. He sighs and pulls himself out of it again. 

Maybe it’s time to find a new spot to land.

*

[connordavidscamera]

Paper Hearts | Connor Brashier

A/n: first post of the new year. I hope you enjoy! We have a lot to come this year!

Summary: Connor has given you a paper heart every single day for four years.

Warnings: fluff

Word count: 1.5k

***

I was banished to our bedroom for the next thirty minutes. I don’t know what for, but Connor came in with Sam and Dylan behind him, kissed my lips quickly and then shooed me away. “Why do I have to be in here? What are you up to, Brashier?”

“You’ll see. I just need you to stay in here, okay? I promise I will come get you when we’re done.”

“And what am I supposed to do until then? My phone’s in the kitchen.”

“There’s plenty of stuff to keep you entertained in here,” he says, his eyes shifting over to the bookcase. I gasp when I notice that it’s decorated with fairy lights and confetti.

“What are you up to?”

He smiled wide and kissed me one more time. “Happy anniversary, love.” He says just as Sam screams for him. “Now I gotta go. Just give me thirty minutes, okay?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really,” he closes the door behind him and I roll my eyes. I make my way over to the corner of the room and shake my head. He’s taken out the jars I keep in the living room and placed them all on the top shelf, surrounding them with the lights and confetti. I shrug and open one of them.

It started on our one-month anniversary. He gave me a large mason jar with a single red heart inside it. The heart had only two words on it. Keep me. I didn’t know what it meant, and he didn’t really explain much either. All he said was he was gonna keep adding to it every day.

I thought he was kidding, how could he possibly remember to add one every day? Especially when he was about to go on another tour with Shawn in just a few months. He couldn’t possibly keep this up. But he proved me wrong. Every day a new heart appeared.

The first jar was filled only three days after our one year anniversary. Every single heart had something different written on it and it was crazy to me that he thought of something new to put on it. But he did, and when I was missing him on tour, even though he gave me an entire envelop filled of hearts for the exact amount of days he would be gone, I went back to the ones I had already read over a million times, and I read them a million more. You’re precious. I’m always here. I adore you. Dinner at 8? Pretty girl. My favorite hello. My hardest goodbye.

I want you. I bite my lip at that one. He handed it to me on our four-month anniversary. We were on the couch after dinner – which we made together; it was chicken and it was dry, but hey, it was our first time making it that way. I was cuddled in his side, scrolling through my phone while his fingers sifted through my hair.

“I have something for you,” he said lowly.

“Oh?” I look up at him, turning my phone off. “And what’s that?”

He slides his phone case off and holds a pink heart in his open palm.

“I want you,” I read aloud. “Suggestive… intentionally?”

“Depends on if you’re… ready for that.”

I hum and sit up. I rest my hand on his thigh and kiss his cheek. “Well, are you?”

“I – well, you see. I mean, I-”

“Connor, baby.” I latch onto the back of his neck and rest my forehead against his, pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. “I’m ready too.”

“Yeah?” he asks, chasing my lips.

I nod, shuffling on the couch to straddle his lap.

I sift through more of them until I find another one that has a great story behind it.

Let’s be spontaneous.

I stare at the piece of paper for a few minutes, trying to figure out what this one is supposed to mean before my phone lit up in my hand. “Hey, sweetheart. What’s this one mean?”

“That’s why I’m calling. I’m downstairs and there’s a picnic basket in my backseat. What do you think about a picnic on the beach?”

“I like the idea.”

“Good, then meet me down here?”

“Can I change first?”

He sighs dramatically. “Yes, but don’t do anything drastic. Jeans and a t-shirt. Meet me in five.”

“I need six.”

He chuckles, “Okay. Six minutes. If you’re not down by then I’ll have to buzz myself in.”

And that’s how we ended up eating most of the basket in traffic on our way to the beach, leaving only chocolate covered strawberries – semi-covered, actually. He didn’t give them much time to cool before he put them in the container – and a bottle of red wine, but only one glass.

“Why only one?”

“I’m driving. Can’t be drinking. Gotta make sure my pretty girl gets home safe.”

I smile and lean over the console. I press a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “You’re something else, Brashier.”

I reach my favorite one near the bottom of the jar and I can’t stop myself from smiling wide.

I love you. It’s scrawled in all caps, a little messily. I can’t keep myself from laughing.

It’s been eight months and even though I’ve felt it for so long, neither of us have said those words yet. Until now. I’m looking at them while he’s looking at me with a sheepish grin.

“Do you really?” I ask in disbelief, my eyes already starting to water.

“Yeah,” he croaks and clears his throat. “I do. I love you so much.”

I swallow the growing lump in my throat and lunge for him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. I bury my head in his neck before muttering the words I’ve been dying to say for months. “I love you too. God, I am so in love with you.”

There’s so many now, four jars full of them, actually. Well, almost full. The fourth one is missing one. Which I’m supposed to get today, on our four-year anniversary. I’ve just finished going through the second jar when the door creaks open.

“You done?”

He nods and hold his hand out to me, “Yeah. Will you follow me please?”

I tangle my fingers in his and he pulls me to his chest, kissing me for the third time since he’s been home. “You’re being oddly affectionate today.”

“Is it odd? It’s our anniversary. I have to give you a little something extra,” he teases, leading me out of the room.

“Well, what is this surprise, Connor?” I question just as the strum of a guitar sounds from the living room.

“Do you love the rain? Does it make you dance when you jump with your friends at a party? What’s your favorite song? Does it make you smile? Do you think of me?”

I furrow my brows, “Is that Shawn?” I get my answer when we walk into the room and he’s sitting on our coffee table, guitar in hand.

"I’d spend 10,000 hour and 10,000 more. Oh, if that’s what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours. And I might never get there, but I’m gonna try. If it’s 10,000 hours or the rest of my life. I’m gonna love you, ooh ooh ooh oh.”

I look around him at all the lights and heart shaped balloons. The floor is covered completely in rose petals and I’m wondering how they managed to do this in just thirty minutes. “Connor, what is all this?”

“Just trust me, yeah?”

“Always,” I answer. And he takes me around the table that Shawn still sits on with a dopey smile on his face between words.

“Y/n.”

“Yes.”

“I fell in love with you four years ago. I didn’t know it fully then, but it didn’t take long for me to realize it. And ever since that day, I have thought of nothing but you, every second of every minute of every day. And I want to do the same thing for every other year that we have left on this earth.”

I blink back tears. “Bub.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper.

“This is for you,” he hands me a heart, this one bigger than the rest and I furrow my brows. “Don’t turn it over yet. I want you to look at Shawn.”

“What?”

“Please?”

I sigh, “Okay.” I turn around to look at our curly headed friend, who has since stopped singing, but continues to strum. “What’s he doing, Rockstar?”

He smirks, “Can’t tell you, honey.”

“Okay, turn the heart over.” Connor says.

I scoff and turn the red piece of paper in my hands. I think I forget how to breathe when I read the words in front of me. The tears fall quickly.

Marry me?

I sniffle and wipe at the endless stream of tears. “Brash?”

“Turn around, love.”

I do, only to see him on one knee, a velvet box in his shaky hand.

“Well? What do you say, y/n? You think I can start calling you Brash, too?”

I’m already nodding before he can finish the sentence. “Yes,” I say over and over, kneeling to the ground, wrapping my whole body around him. He fumbles back and I lay on his chest, peppering his face with kisses and soft ‘yeses.’ “God, I love you.”

He smiles against the soft skin of my neck. “I love you too. Can’t wait to call you Brashier.”

***

I hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

Tag: @sunrise-shawn @anamariel2301 @shawns-badreputation @bbellbagel @turtoix @ivegotparticulartaste @tomshufflepuff @dino-16-avocado @sleepybesson @lifeoftheparty74 @shawnssongs @luvluvxx @foreveralone19588 @shawnandconnor @5-seconds-of-mendes @emma-manuhpe @nedthegay @shawnsblue @curiouslycryptic @adelaidestreets @vinylmendes

Connor Tag: @shawnm521 @divinginfearlessly @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @bettroff @myyohmyuohmyy @madison-malfoy @shawnieeboyy @mutuallynotmutual @tinycertain @rockstarshawnmendes @lostinmendess @sunrisebrashx @alinaxxshawn @heart-struck @ilsolee @daisyangei

[inviouswriting]

Hecate

Character death. Like placing this at the top not greatly graphic but still enough to warrant a warning.

Amourtine!au. I finally did one. This is Hecate.

"You're reading those silly books again?" A voice brought Hecate out of her thoughts, she looks up to be greeted by Nabriales standing near her. Hecate makes a face she never did like him. Too arrogant for her liking.

She had been lost in a book she had found. It spoke of worlds and spoke of romance between people. She loved the idea of it, but had a feeling this world she'd never experience it. So she would read it often. Knights, princesses, dragons and curses.

"They're not silly, they're charming." Hecate turns her head away.

"Yes, while our world is about to die you want to ignore it." Hecate shrinks her head down. Nabriales sees her turn her head.

"I choose to remain happy in these times. I don't want to think of the impending doom like how everyone else is." Hecate ignores the anger crossing his face standing her ground.

"And here we can stop it, but you want to spend your time reading fantasies?!" Hecate glares.

"Maybe we're not suppose to stop it! Maybe it is suppose to happen and summoning Zodiark is not what we should be doing!"

"You have no idea how much we are trying to prevent the lives of many from dying." Nabriales turns on his heel to leave her. Hearing more than enough to fuel him in his reasons.

Hecate sighs and drifts her gold eyes back to the book in front of her using a strip of cloth as a marker she would find a quieter spot to read.

As she left Hecate is approached by another of the conclave. Hades.

"I would tell you all the things you already know and it would still be pointless." Hades would try to persuade her but Hecate was hard to convince once her mind was set. Even if thunder rained next to them she would rather remain there unmoving.

"You could but I rather not hear it. Already have Nabriales giving me hell."

"Can't say I blame him entirely. We do have a role to do." Hecate raises a hand, not interested.

"If what everyone says is true. Then why not spend the last days with the ones you love or pastimes." Hecate holds the book in her hands to her chest.

"You at least get to experience love." She felt a little envious of his relationship in knowing she wont experience it. What it truly is to love.

"Let's not bring her into this conversation." Hades could see that Nabriales got under her skin a bit.

"Then it would be better to leave my hobby alone."

"You are a bit dramatic today." He leaves her, the evening had begun and Hecate just wanted peace for the day.

She retired to her room, and hugged the book to her chest. She had spoken to a few others, but she resigned herself to her thoughts, she didn’t agree to their methods. How could anyone be terrible if they wrote books or created ideas. It gave her a sense of hope.

Little did she know that this was the last time she would see them. When the first star shower hit it struck buildings near her enough to wake her and rattle everything around her. The windows shattered and the rear of fire billowed with searing heat.

Hecate manages to get out of the building she is in with several others all staring up in disbelief. Some questioning others yet she didn’t feel afraid. More accepting to what was happening.

Another star shower more fierce and hit the neighboring building overhead, this snaps Hecate out of her daze and she barks orders at those near her to start running away. Somehow to get to a safer spot.

Hecate leads the way in the group even as some scatter to find friends or find their own paths. Hecate felt fear under her feet as it trembled and the floor cracked with it. Something was coming up from underneath.

"No!" Something monstrous broke out from behind her. Underneath the group she had been leading. She turned to see a few people devoured. Others running away in different directions only for the ground to fall beneath them.

Hecate didn’t want to die like this so she turned to run away in the direction she was heading. The worm like beast lost interest in her for others. It didn’t stop her feet from carrying her away.

Hecate reaches an ending and looks around her for another path only to have it blocked. A strong guest knocks her over the edge, she grabbles for the ledge and feels her nails scratch it as she slips down enough for them to break down. She looks up and what knocked her over was another beast, like a demented looking owl looming in front of her.

Hecate's mask is broken on a side and gold eyes brim with tears thinking that this would be how it ends.

"Hear... Feel... Think..." echoes in her mind but terror runs through her as the beast has her entranced staring to where she doesn’t see that the worm creature runs towards her from the structure she clings to ramming her with the horn piercing her and a combination of the second beast releasing another gust to toss her far.

She lands on the top of an adjacent building, skidding to a stop at the edge. The beasts losing interest in something dying for other beings running around.

Hecate feels the wind lost out of her, the worm creature had torn a good part of her open and punctured a lung. Even if she could run she knew she would die.

Hecate stares at the orange glow of the city as towers fall, and the monsters wreck havoc. Some summoning more to help them. Hecate closes her eyes when she feels colder in herself.

She feels her side, she still had the book she had, a soft and sad smile crosses her lips as she lifts the book to her, opening her eyes she sees feet in front of her.

Hazy, Hecate looks up to see a woman before her. The scythe she sits on telltale, she had read in stories how a being of death has one.

"Here for me?" The being looks at her, green eyes regard her with a wild grin.

"Indeed. But it seems fate has bigger things in store for you. I have an offer." Hecate shivers as she breathes a bit harder.

"I am dying... what offer can you make to someone who is dying." Green eyes glow orange brief in her guess annoyance.

"I am aware of your impending death. Looking at you now, I wouldnt give it another hour. More than enough time to ask and get an answer." The woman flicks her tail behind her, then looks at her nails.

Hecate remains silent, to listen to her. She tugs the book up with bloodied hands from where her fingers bleed at her nails and from laying her her blood.

"The offer is a new life. However at a cost. Or you can lie there and die in agony. Completely up to you." A tap of booted feet together.

Hecate thinks it over, she is already dying. If she can experience a new life, would it be the same one.

"Will I relive this here?" She asks the reaper.

"I can't tell you that. I have taken a liking to you since you defended what it means to die." The woman walks into the puddle that had reached her her feet. Under the soles of her boots frost starts to creep in it.

"Will I remember life?" Hecate looks up into vibrant green eyes.

"I dont think remembering a life where you died will be great. So I'll take those memories as payment for the new life you will get. It would be better than this on your mind?" She gestures to the dying world around them.

"No.." Hecate answers about remembering.

"One more question. Before I make my choice." Hecate sees the reaper fold her arms.

"One more."

" Will I matter in this new life?" There is only a wicked grin.

"That is for you to decide in your path. Now have you made your choice? I have more souls to collect." The way she says it, is as if this was taking up her time while her nails dried.

"I have, I accept!" Hecate says with the last ounce of zeal she can muster. The present grin on the woman widens.

"There we go then. Now for this chapter to end and a new one to begin. just focus on my voice. Kiya Shinikami."

"My name is Hecate..."

"Old life, old name. New life, new name. You must not remember this life. Or the magic might be undone. Only time shall tell."

"What is your name then..." Hecate opens the book she had been clutching to her chest, the soaked pages stick as she tries to read her favorite passage. At least once more.

"I gave you my name. I dont have another to tell you yet. Perhaps if we meet again I'll tell you then." Kivera kneels to take Hecates hands as they hold the bloodied book struggling to keep it up.

Hecate doesn't feel pain once Kivera's hands touch hers. It was as if the nerves ceased to cause it. Kivera looks at the book page and reads to her as a last effort seeing her trying to have comfort in her time.

Kivera looks her over, and as she sees the life fade in the woman on her lap. She alters the spirits form as it is sent off to Hydaelyn.

"One more selfishness. A new face for a fresh life." Kivera feels heat under her from the building they were on was collapsing. With wide wings she flies up to see how far left the world has left as it burns bright. The star showers barrage and the monsters do their things they must. Kivera collects the book Hecate had clutched so tender.

"I Want To Be Your Canary. Hmm.. maybe you will find yours. Just dont end in tragedy." Kivera witnesses the last of the dooms taking over. More special souls being plucked from time to perhaps begin new lives in different worlds.

As Hecate closed her eyes once more. She feels a sense of warmth embrace her, and the words she heard at the start of the star showers resonate in her head again.

"Hear... Feel... Think." Her eyes close and the memories she had, she felt them slip from her like they no longer are hers.

Kiya opens hers wide and frantic. What greets her is ice blue staring down at her concern in them. Her senses come back to her, and a thumb wipes away a stream of tears at the edges of her eyes. Aymeric has her laying with her head on his lap.

Kiya remembers her dream, what was the life she had and how she remembered. Perhaps it was awakening from Elidibus. All she remembers is that life is not her anymore.

"Kiya.. another nightmare?" Aymeric asks, dressed in his ala Mhigan gown. He had seen her turning in her sleep and knew from her whimpering it was a bad dream.

"It was a horrible dream..." a hand goes through her black hair, it grounds her to.him in the color. That this is her life now. She would have to talk to Shuri or Meeps maybe about her memories.

Aymeric doesn't press for details, he has seen a handful of times his wife waking up in tears.

She will tell him when she is ready to.

For now he pets her head as he comforts her, tugging her up into his arms. Kiya feels safer, and well blessed. Aymeric's hands rest on the swell of her belly over the defined bump now.

It wouldn't be long before she is given another life. One she looks forward to in being a mother to their child. She curls more into Aymeric and feels him rest his head on top of hers. He has spent more time with her knowing she is close to having their child. He anticipates it as it means his wife stays with him for a good while. While she recovers and gets to know the new life she brings in.

"You are amazing my love." Aymeric says barely above a whisper. Meant more under his breath in his amazement over how much has grown in a few months. He kisses her face till he is sure her mood is lifted a bit.

"Aymeric?" Kiya fidgets with his hands as she grabs them from messing with the bump after a kick was felt in her side. It felt like this child was doing somersaults inside her.

"Aye?" Aymeric presses his face to hers nuzzling her lovingly.

"Would you read to me?" Aymeric's eyes widen a bit and he smiles.

"Of course. What would you like read to you?" He doesn't question it, and when she leaves him she returns after looking at her bookshelf for one book in particular.

"Isn't this an old tragic one? Wouldn't you want something happier?" He comments when he sees the title having read it himself when he was younger.

"Please? It's a favorite of mine." Aymeric sees from the worn cover and edges, how it almost seems like the book itself has seen battle. Some pages have a brownish tint to them.

"I will read it for you then." He sees her face light up in joy. How can he resist when she pouts so sweetly.

I want to be your canary.

[diamondcamefromhell]

Dance

Summary: this was a request by @rosasteri [who may as well be dubbed my creative muse bc the request i get from them make me super inspired ]“ hi, can I request Jaskier x reader? jask, geralt and reader stay in tavern. jaskier plays his music, but other bard comes and jaskier decides to take a rest. people start to dance so jaskier offers to reader his hand and trying to convince her to dance. but reader doesn't know how to dance so Jask teaches her “

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 2,019

A/N: i really dont have anything to say, lmao, for some reason im at a loss for words today - spent most of it writing original story, and now have an this dying rge to read percy jackson, so guess i know what i will do tonight, lol, either way

any and all feedback is appreciated and can be left anonymously on my ask page <3

I heard raindrops outside before Jaskier strung his lute again. I peak out the window to see lighting strike somewhere far away. The tavern, however is dry and safe. A fireplace is lit near me, providing a good bit of warmth. I lean my back against it now, looking at Jask.

His shadows remind me of the monsters Geralt slays, splashed across the floor. The wood creaks beneath his feet, but his music overpowers it as his singing fills the room. I hear Geralt grunt in front of me as he chugs his ale. Our eyes meet, and while he seems annoyed, he also looks happy. He got rid of some noonwraiths today, so we were celebrating. The townsfolk were welcoming to their newly found hero and his sidekicks.

Jaskier prances to our table, as if to check if his friends were paying attention to him. He made it really hard not to. I wink at him, as he offers me a smile, dancing away now. I sip my wine, taking eyes off the bard to look at the witcher. His gaze was glued to the window, but a smile was on his lips. I decided not to bother.

I hear some disturbance come from the entrance, as a man rushes in. He’s wet from the rain, but I doubt he cares about that. From underneath his jacket he pulls out a lute, inspecting it to see if there is any rain damage on it. I see his shoulders relax and the answer is clear.

Jaskier seems to notice a fellow bard too, stopping his lute. He waves the guy in, allowing him to take the honours of entertaining the guests, as he drops next to Geralt.

“I need a break.” He exhales the words, taking his ale and sipping it.

“Oh yes, being a bard is sure tiring.” Geralt teases, as Jask nudges him.

“Try to do it yourself, then.” I smirk at them, twirling the drink in my glass. “Y/N, do you think being a bard is easy?”

“Easier than being a witcher.” I mumble, chuckling. “But sure, it’s not easy.”

“I have to entertain the masses, you know what happens when they aren’t pleased?” Jaskier dramatically throws his hands in the air, looking to Geralt and back to me.

“They throw rocks at you?” I can’t help but let out a laugh and Geralt’s comment, who in response smirks. “Because that’s what some do when they see a witcher. They throw rocks or whatever happens to be at their disposal. One time it was a cat.”

“Oh no.” I say, now fully laughing. I see Jaskier break character too, as he giggles. “Cats hate you, Geralt.”

“Feelings mutual.” He smirks, as I giggle again.

The silence between is comfortable, but soon the rained upon bard fills it. His lute sounds different, not the sounds I’m used to, but it’s still pleasant. His voice now fills the tavern and I steal a glance at Jaskier, to see what he thinks.

From what I can tell, he likes it. His lips are curled in a smile, and he’s nodding along, without realizing it. I relax, glad he’s not getting competitive. Our eyes meet and he sticks his tongue out.

“I wont try to overplay him.” He says, as I smirk.

“Not again.” Geralt corrects the bard, who flushes red, downing his drink.

“Shut up.” He practically gargles at us.

I laugh. One time at a similar evening, another bard came in and Jaskier wasn’t happy about it. He also wasn’t on his first ale. Or his fifth, for that matter. So he tried to overplay the other guy, and things went wrong faster than Geralt and I could grasp. Our good friend was trying so hard, he danced into a pillar, breaking his lute in half, and then crying.

We helped him out. After we stopped laughing.

I see people spring to their feet now, as the empty space is filling up with patrons, dancing. Couples and friends alike start to move. In turn, bard makes his melody more cheery. I appreciate that, nudging my head side to side in beat.

“Y/N! Let’s dance!” Jaskier yells suddenly, startling me. I stare at the bard, who is already on his feet.

“Jaskier, you know I don’t dance.” I say, as he rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a party pooper and just do it.” He teases as I cross my arms. He grabs my shoulder shaking me.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I argue, and he stops the shaking only to start poking my arm.

“I’ll teach you.” He argues back and I see Geralt raise his eyebrows.

“Teach Y/N how to dance into pillars? Don’t let her embarrass herself like that.” I give witcher a thankful look, but Jaskier is relentless.

“Geralt, fuck off.” He puts his hand right up Geralt’s face, before looking to me again. “Y/N, let’s go!”

“Fine!” I finally give in, as Geralt looks like he is really close to losing his shit and hitting Jask or, gods forbid, his lute. I’d rather avoid another broken-lute-and-cry situation, as funny as it was.

I lazily stand up, and before I can even gain proper footing, Jaskier drags me out. I nearly run into one of the dancers, but at a last second, Jask pulls me out of the way. I glare at the bard who offers me an apologetic smile.

I straighten up, as he starts to step around, dancing. I blankly stare at him, not moving an inch of my body. Jaskier sighs, grabbing my hand and waving it around.

“Loosen up, Y/N.” I roll my eyes.

“I’m dancing. It’s called a statue.” I tease, as Jaskier nudges me, laughing.

“Just step around.” I raise my eyebrows. “Like you really need to use the restroom, but in time with the music.”

“What now?” I laugh, as he rolls his eyes, pulling away.

I try to take his advice the best of my ability, stepping around a little, but timing it with the music. Jaskier grins and I can tell he’s trying to hold back a laugh. I stop, getting embarrassed, once he realizes that, he laughs and hugs me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just your legs, they move, but from waist up you look dead.” He laughs in my ear as my face heats up.

“Well should I just act like I’m dying and shake all around?” He snickers, pulling away. His hand still on my shoulder now slides to my hand.

“Let me lead you.” I press my lips, nodding.

“Sure.” I say, through my teeth.

“Do the leg thing.” I am not sure what he means, so the bard sighs. “The toilet dance.”

“Right.”

I do ‘the leg thing’ as Jask gently moves my arms around. He sees that I am not showing much, if any, restraint, so he grows more confident and bold in his moves. I feel like a ragdoll, dragged around, and he starts spinning.

Until I trip, falling and getting under his feet. He crashes on top of me, and I swear I hear Geralt laugh.

“I can’t breathe!” I grunt, as I feel Jaskier vibrate on top of me. It takes me a moment to realize he’s laughing. I try to push him, but the bard just won’t budge. “Jaskier, for the love of god!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He says, finally lifting himself off me. I glare at him as he extends his arm to me, helping me up. He breaks out into laughter yet again. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I say, cleaning my dress with my hands. I feel my cheeks heat up as I see people snickering looking our way.

“Like you hate me.” He pokes my cheek, removing his hand before I can punch it away.

“But I do.” I respond, as the bard ends his song. People cheer for him, as Jaskier and I stare at each other. I struggle to keep a straight face, breaking into a smile. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” Jaskier purrs, winking at me, before the bard plays another song, and he starts dancing around.

I don’t wait for him to drag me around again, and I start moving. I do the toilet dance, not forgetting my upper body this time. Jaskier looks me up and down, smiling. The tune pics up in speed, and I struggle to keep up, scared of tripping.

“Don’t be so scared.” I hear the familiar voice, as if he just read my mind. I give a quick glare at the bard, before focusing back to my feet. “You’re thinking too much.”

“If I don’t, I’ll be falling too much.” I hiss, still not lifting my eyes, until his hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Just look at me or close your eyes, and listen to the music.” He does a twist, grinning. “Let the music carry you.”

“I’m not a musician, Jaskier. Music doesn’t carry me.” He beeps my nose in response, an even bigger grin painting across his face.

“Music has a power to carry anyone. You just need to allow it to do it.” He waves me closer to himself, so I lean in. “And the secret is, nobody knows how to dance. That’s why nobody also judges others. We all just… allow ourselves to move.”

I step back, taking a deep breath in. I close my eyes, listening to the fast-cheery tune. I focus on the bards voice, as it wraps around me. I try to let go off my anxiety and fears, letting my body lose. I try not to think of what I’ doing and who may be watching. I follow the notes like my body is the instrument.

It feels freeing, as if some weight has been lifted off my chest.

I open my eyes, expecting to see some judgemental looks, hear some laughter, but just like Jaskier said, nobody was judging me. I even stole a glance at Geralt, who was simply paying no attention to us. I look at the bard, as he gives me an encouraging nod.

The song dramatically slows, and he now steps closer, extending his arm. I never danced with anyone, but Jaskier seemed like a good practise. We were great friends, so if something went wrong, I am less likely to want to dig myself into a hole.

His hand lands on my waist as I put mine on his shoulder. He takes our free hands, lifting it to the side. I know males lead, so I try to do the same thing. Give in to music, and follow the energy, which in this case was my partner. Our eyes meet and his blue ones shine, reflecting the fire. I smile, not even realizing we are, in fact dancing.

“You’re a natural.” He says, gently pushing me so I would turn.

“Maybe you’re a good lead.” He pretends to be surprised, twisting me around.

“Yes, I think that’s it.” He finally agrees, winking, as I let out a giggle. “See, dancing isn’t that bad.”

“I guess so.” I am reluctant to agree, I know he wont let me live this down. “As long as no pillars happen to be in a way.”

“You will never forget it, will you?” He says through his giggle, and I shrug.

“Maybe. But I wont forget this either.” I say, as he gives me a kind smile.

The song ends and I don’t let go off his hand, dragging us back to our table. We sit down and Geralt looks at us.

“You two danced well.” He says and I am taken back, as it is rare to get a compliment from witcher.

“Thanks.” I whisper, looking at the table.

I let go off Jaskiers hand, my heart beating faster. I don’t hear whatever he starts to blabber about, and I notice Geralt look away too. A different song picks up, and I cant stop my feet from dancing under the table.

I look out the window to see the rain has passed. The sky is clearing up.

[artificialqueens]

star-uncrossed [jackie x jan] - pinkgrapefruit

A/N - this is a prologue of sorts to ‘i do like you’ but it’s mostly just more jackie and jan fluff featuring my favourite dialogue ive ever written. hope you enjoy it! <3

*

They meet on their first day of college and fall in love. Okay it’s not that simple but they do meet on the first day of college and they do fall in love.

Jan didn’t read the email properly.

(She’s from Jersey, screw it, she knows New York and she doesn’t need to read some stupid instructions to find her way around.)

She didn’t read the email properly so she ends up outside the Lillian Verge school for International Relations even though she enrolled in Tisch and quite frankly she’s just incredibly confused. And then she meets a sweet girl with dark brown hair and a loosely Canadian accent and she finds herself feeling a little bit less lost.

“You okay?” The stranger asks with a kind smile. “You seem lost.” And Jan smiles because goddamn, only she could be a damsel in distress in a city that she’s known for years.

“Just a little,” she admits as she stares at the name on the buildings signs - hoping maybe they’ll transform and she can just walk into her 10 am seminar on Performance Movement.

The pretty lady chuckles and bows her head. “What school are you in?” She asks, “you don’t strike me as an international relations student.”

Jan wants to be indignant, play the can’t judge a book by its cover card but she’s dressed in tight leggings and a pair of worn Nikes with a hoodie from her last regional theatre performance and a dance bag slung over her shoulder. She takes a second to look over the brunette and realises that if Jan doesn’t look like an IR major - she most certainly does. She has a white button-down tucked into a pair of light-wash-straight-leg jeans with a beige and red silk bandana in her hair and a leather satchel.

“Tisch,” Jan responds, doing a little twirl for emphasis because if she’s going to be seen as a ditsy blonde theatre major she might as well do it right but the response isn’t what she was expecting.

“Damn, you must have real talent.” The brunette says with genuine sincerity.

Jan decides she wants to marry her on the spot.

The woman pulls out her phone and fires off a quick text before she looks at Jan again. “I was just letting my friend know I’ll be late for brunch,” she states quickly as if it is normal to adjust brunch plans for someone you have never met before and then she grabs her wrist and starts walking.

It’s a fourteen-minute walk down ninth street followed by a three-minute walk down the second avenue in which Jan learns both everything and nothing about the stranger. She learns she’s supposed to be meeting her old pen-pal for lunch near Parsons because she’s an international student from Paris, that she’s fluent in French and Farsi and that she’s lived alone in New York for two years since she turned sixteen because she values life experiences over possessions.

In return Jan lets her know that she’s allergic to shellfish, will do anything for a smoothie and is gay as all hell prompting an in-depth discussion about the rights of LGBT people across the world, a topic that Jan was vastly underprepared to discuss at 10:03 on a Tuesday.

They arrive at Tisch with a start and out of breath but Jan has to stand there a minute longer before she can brace herself to go in.

“You look like you carry a pen,” Jan says, causing the Brunette to raise an eyebrow (although she reaches into her back pocket and produces one anyway). Jan grabs her hand and scrawls her number on it in a veritable chicken scratch before she hands it back.

“I’m Jan,” she says with a smile and an open palm.

“Jackie,” then non-stranger replies.

(Jan starts her first semester at Tisch on a negative grade. It’s worth it.)

*

Jackie texts her at three in the morning asking if she’d like to go for a smoothie tomorrow and Jan replies asking if it will be postponed due to her inhuman kindness.

(Jackie responds not to bite the hand that feeds you but she’s delirious and there is definitely a french word thrown in there somewhere.)

The brunette is laid across the end of Nicky’s bed waxing poetic about Jan’s blue eyes as she had been for three and a half hours and the Frenchwoman is getting very close to kicking her longest friend out of her dorms and forcing her to walk to her own apartment for the night but she knows there would be no point.

They’ve been pen pals since they were seven having long rambling conversations in french through decorated envelopes and sticker-covered letters. As they got older the letters for longer and they evolved into care packages too. Boxes would arrive full of foreign candies and stationery and a book here or there. One year, close to Jackie’s birthday, Nicky sent her a pair of fluffy socks and the letter she received back was tear-stained.

Nicky runs a hand through Jackie’s hair and sighs.

“”This sounds remarkable simple you know,” She offers up with a wry smile and exasperated tone.

“Yeah but it’s not,” whines Jackie in response as she rolls onto her front and lets out a dramatic sigh. “She’s cute and blonde and knows about gay rights.”

“I’m cute and blonde and know about gay rights,” Nicky reminds her.

“Yeah but you’re french,” Jackie responds with her tongue stuck out.

“God. you’re like Romeo and bloody Juliet, what was it - Star crossed lovers?” Nicky grabs a shirt out of her draw and tosses it so it lands on her friends head. “You’re making it so fucking hard for yourself. You’re basically star-uncrossed lovers. There is literally no issue.”

Jackie presses her face into the duvet and moans. “That made no sense you french son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, but you understood me.”

(She did and she’s not happy about it. The whole thing is refreshingly uncomplicated and that makes her very nervous.)

*

Jan wakes up and texts Jackie that it is raining. It’s not that she’s never encountered this before - she just feels the need to share it with someone and Jackie seems appropriate.

Jackie sends back a smiley face and a request for the address of Jan’s dorm and when Jan responds, she tacks on that she will meet her in the lobby at eleven.

Looking at her purple alarm clock, Jan has the realisation that it’s ten am on a Wednesday and she is yet to leave her bed so she rolls out of bed, hits her hand on the drawer of her bedside table, yanks her phone off the charging cable and takes herself to the bathroom she shares with the rest of the floor before deeming that her hair does not need a wash.

(It probably does but it’s dyed a much lighter shade of blonde than it is naturally so she doesn’t want it to fade and she’s not feeling a cold shower this morning.)

By the time she has dressed herself the rain bounces a few inches off the ground and the roads have turned into rivers which is why it is all the more adorable that Jackie meets her in the lobby with a massive black umbrella. She holds her hand up (she’s written Jan on it in black marker) and waves like she’s in an airport which only makes the blonde scrunch her face up in happiness even more.

“Morning!” Jan exclaims with a huge smile and an enduring positivity.

“Morning Jan,” Jackie smiles back, linking their arms and settling the umbrella above their heads so they can walk through the automatic doors and onto the still busy streets.

They banter and bicker the whole way through smoothie bowls whether it’s over the best Disney film (Jackie says Beauty and the Beast but is entirely willing to watch them all with Jan to make sure), guilty pleasure foods (Jan waves her EpiPen as she raves about cocktail shrimp) and their respective majors.

By the end of it, Jan’s learnt her fingers fit perfectly between Jackies and she’s just about ready to put down a deposit on a three-bed two-bath house in Harlem.

They wander home in the early afternoon sunshine, fingers loosely intertwined and Jackie realises quickly that they could count quarters together and she’d be entertained.

They kiss in the lobby and Jan watches the way Jackie’s eyes flit from her lips to her eyes and back down before going in for a second. And then a third. And her mouth tastes like cherry and somehow cinnamon and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to get a smoothie again without recognising the taste.

*

“It’s so easy,” Jan moans with her head on Gigi’s lap. The taller girl is paying very little attention to the blonde but still cards her fingers through her hair occasionally as she sketches a blazer.

Gigi goes to Parsons but her accommodation got messed up so she ended up next door to Jan and they became friends rather fast. Gigi would define friends as someone she tolerates and Jan would define friends as her heart and soul so they both get everything they want out of the situation.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re an emotionally distant bitch,” Jan asked over pot noodles the day they first met.

Gigi smiled and said thank you and that was that so now Jan is disregarding any requests for personal space and is quite happy to just exist in Gigi’s gorgeously decorated dorm room and pilfer the french candy that she gets from a ‘friend’ who Jan happens to know is very loud in bed.

“I really don’t see the issue,” Gigi replies, looking down at the blonde with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t expect you to,” Jan states passively. “But thank you.”

“Anytime. Now stand up so I can measure your proportions.”

*

‘Did you know that in the war, Oscars were made of plaster?’

‘Did you know that the gestation of the Indian Elephant is 22 months?”

‘Did you know I love you?’

*

Turns out it’s absolutely that simple.