#I am betting it is one of you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whereisthedamndaddymanual · 25 days ago

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Your mother once had a conversation with your lesbian lover about the size of your brother's cock

Maybe in the future or in the past

Maybe both.

#why do you underline penis #that is what it is #me: just tell mom I got a huge dick.... she'll probably figure it out from the company I keep #why does she look so surprised in the photo frok the restaurant #who was taking the picture #I am betting it is one of you #she could be like I am proof your husband fucked around #no probably after the cops came and I did .... something #if you call the cops on your spouse your marriage is done #I will arrive as a cop to my father's house and set off his horn #like hey man where's your son at cec huh #older than you how is that possible #I can say I am older than everyone I just go back to when they were younger than me

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egophiliac · 20 days ago

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So.... what are your thoughts on Ace's UM, if you haven't been asked this already?

sneaky magic for the sneakiest boy

no but really, I think it fits him really well! I had thought his UM would probably involve something kinda sleight-of-handy or pickpockety! and I looooved that it made such a nice loop-around back to episode 1. ❤️ I was. kind of half-expecting him to just run out and punch Riddle in the nose again. but instead this time 'twas he who offed the queen's head! it was great! and he did it while stone-cold terrified out of his mind! because Ace is the only remotely normal or well-adjusted person at NRC and therefore the only one who is like "we're going to literally die, this is super effed up". but he did it anyway!!!! I AM SO PROUD

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers #also love how it complements deuce's magic! they are two of a kind ❤️♠️#i do think bet the limit fits the 'uno reverse card' description more though #like...okay they haven't really said much on how joker snatch works #(literally ace went 'we'll talk about it later')#but i think it's not supposed to be inherently retaliatory if that makes sense #the japanese is something like 'put an ace up my sleeve'#which implies to me that it's not really an in-the-moment thing? i think he can steal it and hold on to it for a while probably #like he might be able to snatch it and then use it on someone else later rather than it being reflected back on the original caster #versus deuce's being that he punches you back with your own punch (and/or other various punches he's acquired)#(a connoisseur of fine punches)#i am 100% guessing though so who knows! we will find out later i presume #now the only one left to get their um is grim maybe 👀#(i mean i would also love to see some staff ums HEY TWST THAT WOULD BE COOL)#(but like. narratively speaking and all)#oh and maybe crowley's depending on how plot-important he actually ends up being #what if it turns out nothing's going on with crowley and he's actually completely irrelevant #he tears his mask off and he's just some random dude who has zero idea of what's happening #nobody's been orchestrating shit #everyone's just been getting radioactive poisoning from the stone adeuce replaced in the chandelier back in the prologue #this was all a cautionary tale about getting the blot levels in your school's hvac system regularly checked

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irenespring · 7 months ago

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Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

#politics #us politics #tim walz #for the record I am super fucking psyched for Walz #I think he did a great job #And I think Harris made the right call #harris 2024 #Harris Walz 2024 #jd vance #Vance is never beating the couchfucker allegations #The problem with your party making actual reality much less relevant in political discourse is that it can also bite *you* in the ass #Functionally it doesn't matter that JD Vance never bragged about fucking a couch #Because it got repeated so many times that now it's indelibly linked to him #If someone asked random people what they think when they see Vance I'd bet money one of the top 3 answers would be “had sex with a couch”#As it should be #Because it wouldn't have happened if his vibes weren't so atrocious that everyone immediately believed it

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ravenpureforever · 7 months ago

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On one hand, Young Justice is kind of neglected by the actual superheroes that should be looking out for them in a lot of crucial ways and very much failed by the adults around them

But on the other hand Red Tornado straight up hosts a parent-teacher conference where their respective legal guardians all show up, barring Batman who’s in traffic so Nightwing fills in instead because Robin’s dad does not know he’s a vigilante which is objectively hilarious

#Superboy does not have a name and his ass is constantly getting groomed like Clark please take a more active role in his life #And all of these guys need a healthy interaction with their respective legacies that does not involve heroing #Take them out for lunch! Play a video game with them! Let them be a kid around you without getting criticized!#Red Tornado had barely reconnected with his own humanity and he’s taken a more active role in being like they are safe happy and learning #compared to the people who literally are the reason they exist in the first place #and is the only one who seems to recognize their potential and ability as a team! and he wants others to know that!#and it’s kind of heartbreaking because the JLA should be paying attention to them and noticing how they succeed and instead just show up #at the worst possible time and take things out of context and criticize them and bestie I bet you they are a lot better of a hero #than *you* were at 14-16 because they actually are going out and making a difference and saving people #but the ones who should support them the most are barely there for them at all #someone give these kids healthy and appropriate emotional support I am begging you #yj #young just us #young justice #yj98 #bart allen #tim drake #kon el #conner kent #superboy #robin #dc impulse #cassie sandsmark #wonder girl #cissie king jones #arrowette #greta hayes #slobo dc #empress #anita fite

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orionfrommars · 3 months ago

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Here’s an older-ish Bumblebee fanart I madeeee!

[Please do not steal, trace, repost or do anything with my work]

#orionsart #wanted to share so you guys get some more tf fanart #i am still finishing up the animation but bc finals are literally next week it may be a while!!#anyway! here’s some cute little bee <3333 #bro is literally sir yapsalot #bet he’s talking to d and orion #art #transformers #artists on tumblr #bumblebee #small artist #b 127 #transformers fanart #transformers one #maccadam #tf fanart #tf one

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amarriageoftrueminds · 2 months ago

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cannot stop thinking about an AU where Bucky gets the same treatment as Steve (ie. serumed and vitarayed.)

So he shoots up to 6' 8" or something ridiculous and is built like a brick shithouse. To everyone else he's almost Too Big, but to Steve it's just like being small again while Bucky is ...Large, and Steve is permanently flustered about it. 😳🥺

#bucky: hey stevie you're not unnerved by how big I am now are ya?#steve: *sweating* n- nO #bucky: *casually leaning giant forearm on steve's shoulder* hey is your asthma coming back??#steve: *panting/wheezing* I'M FINE 🥵#bucky: heheh I'm so big now I bet I could pick you up and spin you around like we used to-#steve: bUCK PLS 😭#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #fic idea #see also: ppl meeting giant bucky and being like 'oh they called those toys bucky BEARS? 😨 yh. yh makes sense'#bucky being self-conscious about his new size finding a dance class full of other non-skinny/average ppl to blend in #(discovering he is now catnip to dancers who want to be made to look teeny & delicate and also flung about like hula-hoops)#steve's extreme protectiveness of bucky being IN NO WAY diminished...#...by the fact that bucky is now a head taller and wider than steve in every direction #alpine looks like a tiny fluffy kitten in his giant hands and ppl are like '???' when she comes closer and is a full grown maine coon #bucky volunteering to test extra-stretchy pants designs for bruce for when he hulks out #being like 'damnit I ripped them right up the crotch again these ones are a wash out' while steve is like 'ohhh nooo. that is. terrible.' 👀

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beif0ngs · 7 months ago

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GALAXY IMPACT🌌🌟💥

#One Piece #opgraphics #Monkey D. Garp #*mine #holy sh*t the amount of times Luffy would've died as a kid if Garp had used even a fraction of his true strength...#Garp must've been an absolute BEAST at his prime #also am i mad that Garp holds all this power in his fist yet didn't lift a goddamn finger to help Ace in Marineford?#but is willing to risk it all for Coby??#yeah you bet you bet i f*cking am 😒#dis animation go hard AF tho 🔥🔥🔥

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kotikaleo · 3 months ago

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LIZARDS ARE BACK!

And they brought some friends!

Free them! Free them all!

With the second wawe of milk lizards I am bringing you also the first wawe of soda cans and energy drinks filled with Lizards!

Same thing as before - double sided, slight 3d effect with a label on top and a unique back label that tells you contents and all important stuff you need to know about them uwu

❗PREORDERS are open until DECEMBER 25th and orders will be shipped in MID JANUARY❗

The stock is limited, because I am just one person, but also don't worry, I will make a third wawe and fourth and so on, I muself hate artificial scarsitry (ew)

Reblogs are appretiated

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sukunasdirtylaugh · 11 months ago

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fwb toji who is furious when you come home (you let him crash at your place) telling him with a broad smile that the mechanic was kind enough to give you premium air on your tires "for only $120 for all four tires!" and he's fuming, already on his feet, "no no sweetheart," he tells you, "they scammed you. why didn't you call me in the first place?" and suddenly you're shy, giving him a shrug that nearly wounds him if it weren't for the hard thumping of his heart. "give me your keys, baby. I'm gonna take care of it."

#and 30 minutes later he's back with your full refund plus a full years worth of a free oil change and tire rotations as an apology gift #from the shop #I love the idea of him angry #like am I invisible to you?? it kinda wounds his ego ngl so after this you can bet that he's on everythinggg #leaky kitchen sink? he's got it #he becomes your own personal handyman and you don't mind it one bit #jjk #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #toji #toji zenin #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji x you

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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stevethehairington · 2 months ago

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u know what. buck has canonically called maddie mads and abby abs so i really think it is about damn time we get an eds up in this bitch.

#YES i have been converted #i AM an eds enjoyer now #i fear i was regretfully uninformed when i first formed my opinion on the nickname #but i have since seen the light #its a GOOD one and it DOES fit #buck WOULD do that he WOULD shorten eddie to eds it FITS his mo AND it also fulfills his initial 'we have to get you a nickname' schtick #and i think eddie would actually be delighted about it #bc aside from like abeula/pepa calling him eddito i really dont think anyone else has ever given him a nickname!!!#(not counting eddie obviously LOL bc he primarily goes by that over edmundo)#like he called shannon baby but did she call him that back?? who knows!!! and even if she did that was YEARS AND YEARS ago #and i bet that dropped off when things started to get rocky #soooo!!!!!!!#i think it would warm his heart and make something flutter in his tummy when buck starts to call him eds #AND I THINK WE DESERVE TO SEE THAT!!!!!#(oh and he ABSOLUTELY would get that cute lil rosy flush in his cheeks the first time buck says it — and every time after lbr)#buddie #911

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cowardlykrow · 9 months ago

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“don’t lose it now, old boy.”

With @ratb4stard3

#They are Applewatch to me amen godbless #They are swapping nametags because they are also so gay #tragic gays 😔#but for now they are happy perhaps #Also called old man supreme yup #happy fricken pride month #look how he drew john with his love sick puppy eyes its killing me KILLing me im dead i am dust #ALSO YEAH back at it again with another collab with the brother bet you were NOT expecting this one 😏😏😏#Cause he's my best friend #he's my pal. He's my homeboy #my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese. My good-time boy.#Also i could NOT do wilburs other eye so i did the oldest trick in the book #ALSO ALSO.... you don't even KNOW how hard it was to not draw a mustache on him you dont even KNOW #Wilbur cross #general john macnamara #john macnamara #uncle wiley #Black friday #black friday starkid #Hatchetfield #tgwdlm #The idea was for them to be dressed up casually but sir wiley looks like he is about to take this man out for the most expensive fucking #dinner imaginable #perhaps before #before the #befo

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varpusvaras · 3 months ago

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I swear to god, DC fandom is the first fandom in my life where people are up an arms vagueposting about AU's and fics when they're not directly canon compliant all the time. I'm not even talking about the dreaded fanon, I'm talking about fics in general. Like???? Yeah I know this isn't how it goes in canon, what about it??? It's not supposed to! And also if only one person is writing that kind of AU, then the person seeing you whine about them writing the AU does know that you are talking about them. In my almost 30 years of life I've never seen this kind of behaviour before. Don't worry, since you don't know how the block button works, I'm going to do it for you! I'm a nice person like that <3

#can't even do one au that ignores ONE issue run like hmmm wonder how things would've gone if this didn't happen #and I get a dedicated post about me #how am I supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #I mean maybe I am a hypocrite because I refuse to treat jason as the worst person alive who everyone will hate forever #but will bring up the fact that bruce is also not perfect #bruce gets his mistakes and awful behavior forgiven so frequently that I think it's just fair for jason to get his as well #fandom salt #also just saying that when and if I write an au where characters DON'T like jason because of his past actions #even though jason has grown and changed and is doing quote un quote good now #how much would you bet that that au is considered character bashing everyone else

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biowho · 3 months ago

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Every Dragon Age I have wanted the Dalish to have a rich culture that is not belittled or maligned and every Dragon Age I have been reminded that most of the writers are white and Canadian but at least in the previous installments there was a resemblance of a respectful veneer laid out before them

#I love you dragon age I just wish you didn’t make people I care about look like a joke in your portrayal of them #I’d bet money they would act like starlight tours weren’t a thing #A friend just sent me something about the residential school our grandfathers were imprisoned in and ohhhh okay #okay! okay!#I am angry about something better suited to be talked about elsewhere #Canadians reading this:#be better than the ones that came before you

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fuumiku · 26 days ago

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Laios & Marcille relapse AU!

My grab at baking dogboy Laios into an AU and yay laicion to top it off! Yaad is having a stroke! ^^

Soooo they had to hire a wolf beastman coach for the king's new behavioral impulses. It's a criminal yes but a PARDONED criminal after the last dungeon war! How many wolf beastkins, which are ILLEGAL, ready at the call of the government (and not too important to send away) do you think there are. This is also a show of alliance! The official answer though is that you two know each other already.

Cue Lycion being a bad teacher who just always goes "Okay so when you get the urge to eat raw meat, don't do that" and a Laios who's been enabled one too many times and is now running off doing whatever he wants howling at midnight in his room, cue therian on furry violence, cue Lycion corruption arc where Laios goes "come be a dog with me :3" more and more convincingly. They were born to play fight together as wolf monstery humanoids, thank you

Alternatively this is all fanfic that king Laios is making of himself when he has free time. The classic "skip work and be a wolf" fantasy

My ipad is still broken and I've still lost my last 2 years of art wips so more doodles & AUs to keep me sane, giggles! 2025 becomes the year where I make art I want for no reason always, real

#Dungeon meshi #Spoilers #Dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Laicion #Laios touden #Lycion #Marcille donato #laios x lycion #Dunmeshi fanart #Monstery fumi #projecting onto Marcille bc i find beastkins to be one of the most fascinating parts of canon lore.Is no one gonna experiment?!#Marcille rationalizing that you can't properly police smth if there isn't enough research done on the subject ☝#damn i missed the opportunity for flekille. but like fleki is there too #'Hm? Why not a kobold?' Advisor smiling but sweating 'think before you speak...'#Marcille only had a dog soul laying around (from the mandrake dog sacrifice i bet /j) not a wolf one but shh don't tell him #I am deeply sorry laios doesn't have droopy dog ears. something feels missing now #also i wanna draw the party as dinosaurs next bc i'm in that phase of my life apparently. send dino species ideas for the cast #if u wanna- i have the toudens and senshi down though #drew this comic all with the same pen eughh the lineweight looks so bad #the king was illegally meant to be a beastkin- well he's the king so law means nothing to him so!#oh noooo SOMEONE cast grave magic upon our king...! If they ever get found out they'll get harshly punished.....!

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lovertm · 1 month ago

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pins by snotcity

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