#I am a sun and moon stan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xfancyuu · 1 year ago

Text

~ a different kind of spicy, cheongyang chilli pepper vibe. [rhaenyra targaryen] 18+ SMUT

happy pride! i hope my lgbt+ people are enjoying themselves this month, i know i am! alt title could be if you wanna know how i can show you right now, anyways stan ateez, stream the world ep 2 and fuck your gf. reader is afab with she/her pronouns. my requests are OPEN please send away! i'd assume this takes place somewhere during rhaenyra's marriage to laenor. [1,555 words]

i am in NO way responsible in your fanfic consumption MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! i don't even know where to begin with the tags on this fic, lesbian sex, dom/sub dynamic, overstimulation, talks about wanting children, dirty talk, daemon reference and i think(?) it's positive. lmk if i missed any.

Spending your nights with Rhaenyra had given you solace you never knew you needed. From the feeling of her soft skin pressing against yours while the two of you slept, from the comforting presence she had provided you continuously. You knew your love for each other could never be shared publicly and it often times made you sad but when the two of you were together alone it made up for all the secrecy.

Nobody had bothered to question why you shared Rhaenyra's bed more than her own husband, but you were her lady in waiting, you were the person she was closest to and if Laenor was happy nobody could say anything against the arrangement.

It had been an unusually warm spring night, the sun had trouble setting at a decent time and you had almost stripped down to your undergarments in the garden. It was just too hot, you didn't know if being in Rhaenyra's presence made you feral or the heat was truly getting to you. So much so you had stripped yourself of all clothing while Rhaenyra waited in bed for you.

She, too, had chosen to sleep naked, claiming the heat was also too much to bare — you knew the truth, though. Rhaenyra had a dragon, the weather wasn't the cause of her nakedness.

Your night had been mostly uneventful, the two of you had laid in bed, Rhaenyra reading to you while your head was in her lap, the closeness you felt to her was much different than anything else you'd ever felt, the two of you often read in this position though you'd never felt the softness of her thighs in such a position before. You didn't know what possessed you to kiss the tops of her thighs but she never complained, her breathing getting heavier as you continued to do so, though you had promptly stopped when she had closed the book.

"We need to sleep, Y/N." Rhaenyra spoke, playing with your hair after placing the book on the bedside table.

"I think you may be right, Nyra." Came your response, your head moving from her lap and choosing to place a kiss on her lips, the kiss remained chase with Rhaenyra's hands placing themselves on your hips as to make sure you didn't lose balance.

She was the first one to pull away, and while it took you a second to compose yourself, you laid on the left side of the bed, choosing to forgo covering yourself, the heat was far too unbearable for you even with the moon blessing you with its presence.

Despite the heat it didn't stop you from cudding into Helaena, your head was placed on her chest and while she too complained about the heat, she didn't complain about your current position.

Your dream had been so vivid, choosing to show you images of yourself and Rhaenyra in various positions and committing various acts you doubt her real life counterpart would ever allow you to put her in.

Perhaps you could bring yourself to your peak rather quickly, the fear of waking Rhaenyra was within your mind but the way your fingers were playing with your bud felt too good, you wanted to prolong it. As long as you didn't stick your fingers within yourself, Rhaenyra had claimed your cunt as her own, not allowing even yourself to place your own fingers in there. She was possessive over you, wanting to give you as much pleasure as you could take and even more. You often left her room on a morning feeling as though you were on cloud nine though having to ignore the overstimulation, she did make it hard for you.

You were being loud, moaning, moving around the bed, trying to bed as quiet as you possibly could yet that didn't help you, Rhaenyra had woke up, not happy in the slightest. Disturbing her sleep was one thing but touching yourself had truly flipped something within her, she was on top of you within seconds, removing your hand away — almost instantly killing your impending orgasm.

"Who gave you permission to touch yourself?" It was rhetorical, Rhaneyra very rarely allowed you to answer back to her, "I swore you promised you were mine, body and soul, yet you think you have the right to touch your body?"

You didn't respond as Nyra had opened your legs further to gain access to your already wet cunt. You could tell she wasn't happy. She was the one who would do this to you, the one to turn you on and make sure you were satisfied.

"You've done this to yourself?" She asked, her fingers entering you without much resistance, the wetness you'd caused leaking out of yourself while her fingers continued to enter you.

"Only thought about you." You responded, legs opening wider, feeling her so deep within you almost had you reaching for your bud once more but stopped when you saw the look on Rhaenyra's face.

"Is that meant to make me feel better?" She asked, increasing the speed of her fingers,

"I only ever think about you" you reiterate, though the words had come out breathy, the feeling of Rhaenyra's fingers within you had started to build up your previously killed orgasm. Rhaenyra knew you were sensitive but she hadn't realised you were this sensitive, being able to cum in few seconds after she'd entered you.

"That's it baby, cum all over your queen's fingers, be a loyal subject, give me what I want." Her words had tipped you over the edge, the orgasm you so badly wanted had been given to you though Rhaenyra hadn't stopped her movements while your thighs shook and tried to close on her hand though with her own leg being between them it was almost impossible.

"Nyra, please." Your words were cut off by Rhaenyra kissing you, it wasn't soft nor chaste, it was with hunger and purpose, brutal even. She hadn't stopped, though her lips found their way to your neck, leaving marks as she went along.

"You want another one? So insatiable, you'd think i've left you untouched for months." Despite your begging she had chosen to interpret you wrong. Rhaenyra got like this sometimes, and most times it left you unable to walk or to fulfil your duties properly. "You can give me another one, can't you?"

"Want to, so badly." Telling Rhaenyra no would have been fruitless — you also enjoyed when she was like this, giving you everything you wanted and then more.

"Tell me what you want."

"Want you to stay inside me so badly, wish you had a cock so you could put a baby in me." You were babbling now, though it was true, you wanted to be filled with Rhaenya's heirs, to give her a life that was expected of her.

"We could make that happen, have you fuck Daemon so he can give you Targaryen babies."

"No, no, no, no, no," you repeated like a mantra as she continued her brutal pace within you, "only want you, I'm only yours."

Rhaenyra had taken your whining as a sign you needed more, her thumb had begun to play with your enlarged bud and it had made you cry out, moving your hips to meet her hand easier.

The two of you continued, Rhaenyra whispering filthy things in your ear, about how you were her perfect girl, about how she'd get Daemon to fuck you next, about how you'd be perfect with your and her child and it was enough to make you to come undone a second time. The intensity of this one hitting you harder than the last.

"I can't do another one Nyra." You choked out, wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her down to kiss you once more, this was sweeter than the last, portraying nothing but love and tenderness rather than the lust filled ones you'd shared before.

She pulled away, both from inside you and away from your kiss, making you pout. "I think I want to see you pregnant, you've seen me pregnant with three children yet here you are without a child."

"Jace, Luc and Joffrey are my children too." You insisted, "But if you want me to birth a child myself, you have to find the man and I won't fuck anyone without your permission, you can even tell me what to do." You joked, your own husband had not so tragically passed moons into your marriage. An old disgusting man who only wanted you for your body and the children you could have provided him with, ironically he lived as he died, fucking you from behind — you wouldn't admit it to anyone but the sight of him on the floor was hilarious. Despite this you'd played the mournful wife, crying at the correct things, wearing all black. Though nothing could stop you from entering Rhaenyra's chamber and truly letting the one you love have you.

"We should seek a man worthy to give us a child." You knew who Rhaenyra wanted, you yourself wouldn't be too opposed to him either, especially if Rhaenyra was there. "But right now, I'm not done with you just yet, you won't be leaving this bed for at least three days." your exhausted state couldn't wait, she made you tingle in all the right ways and you'd happily provide her with as many orgasms as you could provide, even if it destroyed you.

i hope you enjoyed this! i've never wrote nyra before and i'm obviously team green but i love her and i believe in gay rights/wrongs and she fits the bill. sorry if this is bad it's the first time i've written sapphic smut.

593 notes · View notes

crippling-pages · 4 months ago

Text

reasons to ship Tiana (tam and biana) <3

@innereverblaze You asked to be convinced on which ship (Tiana or Dexiana) you should ship, and I am here convincing you to ship Tiana. This is also there for anyone else wondering why I ship Tiana or why YOU should ship Tiana. Thank you.

*cracks neck* Okay lets do this

Tiana is the pairing between Tam and Biana, and their ship is AMAZINGGG. These are just a few of the tropes in their ship

Grumpy/sunshine

Opposites Attract

Emo/Bright

Introvert/Extrovert

Popular/Outcast

These are their main tropes, though there are a ton of other smaller tropes too! (Ex: Rain/Sunshine, Sun/Moon, Talks A Lot/Will Listen (for me, I hc that that one can go for both).

Moving on to moments in the book; it's a fact that all the boys (Dex, Keefe, and Fitz) had/has a crush on Sophie. One after another, they each picked Sophie. All three of them. But, when we meet Tam, instead of falling for Sophie like the others, he notices Biana. The moment being when Keefe says, "The Foster Fan club is closed" or something like that, Tam blushes says he isn't interested, then proceeding to glance at Biana,which shows that he may be interested in Biana, not Sophie. He doesn't like Sophie right away like the others did, he sees Biana and he likes Biana. And Biana has always had a problem, not being noticed or seen. She was the 3rd child of a famous family; Alvar was the oldest and already doing great things (to their knowledge), and Fitz was a super powerful Telepath. And she was just Biana, at the time. When people saw her, it was for her status or her brother. And when Sophie came along (wanna be clear that I'm not blaming Sophie; forever a Sophie stan), everyone started to talk about Sophie, including her own brother and former crush. Now it seemed like one of the few parts of recognition she got was given to Sophie, the mysterious and multi-abilities girl with humorous talent, and everyone was thinking about her. And then we meet Tam. Like I said before, Tam takes interest into Biana. Before the crew officially meets Tam and Linh, Tam contacts Biana this time, to contact the others. He could've chosen any of the others, expect he chose Biana. And since then, he's always been Biana > Sophie.

And Biana does similar to Tam. When Sophie and Fitz go to visit Tam and Linh in the beginning of the book during Lodestar, they come back and Biana complains, saying that they were lucky and this implies that she wanted to see Tam again too. Later in the book, when Sophie, Dex, Fitz, and Biana go to visit Wylie, they spot Tam reading in the sitting area, and Biana changes her mind and goes to sit next to Tam. She smiles, and then says, I quote, "Plus, I haven't seen you in forever!" Note the fact that she says "you," not "you and Linh." Biana was excited to see Tam again that she decided to say there with him instead of doing what their original objective was. Tam replies to this, smiling shyly. After all, no one has ever wanted to be with him before. He was a twin and a shade as a child, and both were taken as bad things, so he probably was very alone as a child, with no friends or anyone other than Linh to talk too. But now, he sees Biana wanting to talk to him, choosing to sit down and catch up, saying upfront that she missed him. None of the other people in the group have really directly talked to Tam before (for the whole series, if I may add) that isn't for Neverseen or Black Swan related purposes. Continuing on, Tam replies to Biana (again, smiling shyly), "I hear we'll be seeing more of each other soon." (That could be recognized as flirting but I don't think Tam knows what flirting is during this moment of time so it's probably not). This suggests that he is actually excited and eager to see Biana more often, and as we know form Tam, he doesn't that excited often. From these moments and interactions, we can confirm that both Biana and Tam, ever since first meeting, find interest in each other and want to learn more about the other and want to see each other more, are are excited when they get to be together.

There are another handful of moments in Lodestar between them, but there are two more that stand out to me the most. (Three, technically). One is the oh so famous scene when the group is at the Exilium training area, and they're talking about Marella, and the Biana points out that Marella is staring at Tam. There are a few other comments by the others. Tam himself is surprised, by this, and simply says "Okay" and lets the topic go. Biana, however, does not. She says something along the lines of, "Okay? That's it? That's all you have to say?" implying that she's shocked that Tam doesn't have another say on this, and he starts blushing at Biana questions, since they hint that she's eager to know what he really thinks. This can also be seen as possibly jealousy; She sees Marella staring at Tam, and giving him a flirty smile; she'd want to know if Tam finds her cute in return, or that he might be interested in her, and the thought of that makes her jealous. Tam is saved from responding, because Linh speaks up and says "He doesn't like her. He likes brunettes." She says this smirking, and directing it at Biana. This may mean that she's trying to subtly tell Biana that Tam finds her cute, or pretty. Tam then says, "Gross, why do you know that?" Note that he isn't denying it. He isn't saying that he doesn't like them, he's asking why Linh knows this. Linh then says, "Because you aren't as sly as you think you are." This could mean that Linh has noticed how Tam acts around Biana. She noticed how he looked at her in Neverseen after being asked about joining the Foster Fan Club, then denying it. Maybe Tam has looked at Biana other times that weren't noticed by Sophie, but by Linh.

Another moment is when Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam found something in the Silver Towers. Sophie asks what she meant by her and Tam, since to Sophie's knowledge, only Tam was was working there, and Biana explains that she went to visit Tam early that day. This suggests that Biana wanted to see Tam again. As I said earlier, Biana was and is eager to see Tam again, and this is another moment being proof of it. Along with this bit, Tam had to spend hours in the Silvers Towers per day, so that means that Biana got to spend hours alone with Tam, and they probably had learned much more about each other and had gotten closer. Later, when they're in the Silver Towers, Biana says to Tam, I quote, "Go on. Show them how cool you are." Tam blushes at this. As the statement says, Biana thinks Tam cool, and that matches up with Biana wanting to spend more time with him. This is also another time Biana has complimented him (she once complimented him about his ability in Neverseen ,calling it an 'anti-vanish'). Tam is insecure about ability, hence likely being judge a lot as a kid and his parents being disgusted, and with Biana constantly telling him its impressive and cool, he starts to feel less bad about it and left insecure.

There are a few more moments in Lodestar, but for now I shall be moving onto Nightfall, quite possibly the book with the most Tiana moments, and I'll be doing them in bullet points so I don't have to write anymore paragraphs so it'll be easier for you to read. (Hence there are a lot, we'll be doing the biggest and my personal favorites)

Nightfall Moments (With page numbers)

On page 217, when Forkle takes about sending Tam and Linh back into Foxfire, Biana squeals and gets excited, saying that they'd see each other more, hang out during study hall and team up in PE. This is another moment showing that Biana gets happy and excited at the thought of spending more time with Tam.

Page 384, when Sophie, Fitz, Tam, Biana, Livvy and Grady are in the Forbidden Cities, Biana points out that a bunch of girls are staring at Tam. This is similar to what she did when Marella was looking at Tam.

Page 387, Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam didn't find anything in Candleshade; Candleshade is big, with hundreds of floors; it would take hours and many days to search, so that would mean that Biana and Tam would have spent even more time together, just the two of them alone. Again. Multiply times. During these times, they've definitely have gotten much closer and know much more about each other. (At this point, I feel like they've definitely gotta a crush on each other.)

Page 397; when Biana, Sophie and Tam are talking about what they should wear when sneaking into Nightfall, Sophie says "What about Tam?" and Biana replies saying that he'll be alright if he "ditches his shirt." This implies that Biana wants to see what Tam looks like without a shirt on; this is also likely Biana subtly flirting with Tam. Tam is embarrassed, and says that he'll get cold, ever the oblivious.

Page 442; Marella says that Biana is possessive of her brother, and Biana replies that she isn't possessive, and that she doesn't like it girls use her to get to her brother, since to them, Fitz is the best looking boy in the school. She then says to Tam, "Linh must know how that feels." And that suggests that Biana thinks that it is very good looking, or just as good looking as Fitz, and that a lot of girls would go up to Linh because they would want to get closer to Tam. This again, could be Biana subtly flirting.

Page 447; I feel like people sleep on this one a lot. It's when they're trying to figure out where to put Alvar after finding him in Nightfall. Tam says that Choralmere could work, since it be unexpected and the Neverseen wouldn't expect it. It's basically Tam subtly saying to Biana "I'll bring your almost dead brother to my abusive home for you even if I really don't want to go see my parents and house again but it okay because your more important and I care about you."

Pages 451-452; Possibly the most underrated Tiana moment in the series, and it's when Tam and Biana talk about the the cruelty of Tam and Linh's parents, and what their parents did to the them. Biana brings up how screwed society is, and how she feels bad about how her life is/was almost perfect, and that it's that way because of the "Vacker Legacy." She said that she wished she could like others in bad situations, like in the one Tam and Linh were in. Tam comforts her, telling her that she doesn't need to feel bad, saying that it wasn't her fault. He said that she didn't know how bad the world was, that not a lot of people do. This makes Biana feel a lot better, thanks to Tam. (Not gonna lie, Sophie third wheeled in this scene.)

Page 457; Another minor one, but while they were talking about Alvar, Biana's eyes start to tear up and she moves to go look at the portrait of Tam. She was in a room full of art, with many pieces and decorations, yet she decided to look at the painting of Tam.

Page 474; This is my favorite moment in the series (I made a post about it, you should check it out!). It's when Tam stops and notices that his portrait was re-painted, and Biana says that she did it. It shows how Biana disliked the portrait, and that she didn't believe it represented Tam right. Even though it wasn't hers, and that it belonged to Tam's mother, she spent time and repainted it. I feel this says a lot about what Biana thinks of Tam. (It was basically was: Biana: *repaints the picture of you your mom made because I didn't like it and because it wasn't truly you and you're amazing and should be recognized as you are now not as you were before or like how your abusive parents see you as*). Physic/Livvy also says "not to spoil the moment" implying that Tam and Biana were having a moment.

There are a few other, smaller moments in the book, but these are the biggest and main moments. To my memory, Flashback has two moments and they're minor, but still say a lot.

It's when someone says that Tam should look in Everglen for clues and stuff, but Fitz says that his parents might not let him because of Alvar. Tam replies saying, "Don't worry. Biana would let me in." That means, despite the Alvar situation, Biana would still let Tam inside Everglen to search around. She also decided to help him.

Around the end of the book, when they're fighting the Neverseen, Umber shoots an arrow of shadowflux at Biana. Not Linh, who we knows means a lot to Tam. Not Linh, who Tam would sacrifice his life for. Umber didn't shoot the arrow at Linh, but at Biana. This could mean that Umber sensed how much Biana meant to Tam, and that he might've cared for her as much as he did for Linh.

Flashback was more of a Sophitz/Sokeefe book, so there wasn't a lot. Moving on to Legacy, there were a surprising about of moments, despite Tam not even being there. (Note that I haven't read Legacy, and that it's my least favorite book in the series, followed by Stellarlune.) I don't remember much from Legacy, but I do now some vague moments, but otherwise these won't be that good and that accurate.

Biana has mentioned, a handful of times, about getting Tam back. When she can, she brings up Tam. This means that even when he's not there, she thinks about him.

There was a few scenes in the book where Biana says that she misses Tam.

There's this one scene, and it's when Sophie and Biana are talking, and Sophie's "Happy Shadow Thoughts" t-shirt is brought up. Biana says how she really wanted to get one. This suggests Biana saying that she wanted to have the shirt because it was about/related to Tam. (She trails off, after saying that she wanted a shirt of her own, a look of longing and sadness appear son her face.) Biana and Sophie also talk about Tam's kidnapping, and Sophie comforts her.

After everyone walks up from being knocked out during Keefe's transformation, Sophie says that Tam will help them, and when Biana wakes up, the first thing she says is "Tam?" Since we already know that Biana missed Tam a ton, one can only assume that one of the first things she did after Sophie left was go and hug Tam...

And that's that for Legacy. (I swear that only good parents in Legacy was when it was about Tam).

Moving on, we have Unlocked and Stellarlune. Unlocked has this one moment (though it is a VERY important one), while Stellarlune doesn't have any Tiana (or Dexiana) moments. Let's do Unlocked.

In Unlocked, on page 676, Fitz teases Biana for rushing up the stairs to Solreef. He says that "she's dying to see Tam" and then stage-whispers to Sophie "My sister' a fan of silver bangs." While this is two facts for the price of one (that Biana missed Tam a whole lot, and that Biana finds Tam cute and likes his bangs), what Biana says next is "Really, Fitz? You want to talk about crushes?" And this is important, because Biana, sweetheart, when the hell did Fitz mention ANYTHING about crushes??? Hmm? When?? *proceeds to jump up and down because this literally confirms that Biana has a crush on Tam* (Biana also then blushes bright red after what Fitz said, and I quote from Sophie, "which was either embarrassment or confirmation. Or both." And we all know that when an author says "or both" 98% of the time, it is both.)

And that is that. All (almost all) of the Tam and Biana moments in the series, along with in-depth analysis for each.

Furthermore (yes, I'm not done), let's talk about the characters themselves.

Tam's character is shown as the stoic, quiet, and 'emo' character (he isn't actually emo, though. He's just seen that way because of stereotypes). Biana is the sparkly, bright, and the princess of the series. Their opposites. But they also have a ton in common!

Both have siblings (trust me, you can relate about siblings)

Both have expectations from society and their parents

Both have once been hated on (Biana with the Alvar situation, and Tam... in general.)

Both are underrated and underappreciated people.

Both can be snarky at times.

Both are stereotyped (Tam being a Shade and people automatically assuming he's evil/not a good person; Biana being a spoiled princess because she's the daughter of a powerful family.)

Both are important and valuable people.

Literal icons. They're so icon.

BAMF duo.

Traumatized.

There are other kinds of similarities between the two, but these are the main ones.

Either way, both would bring out the best in each other. Biana's brightness would bring out Tam's, and Tam would help Biana become more confident with herself. They would help each other with their trauma, comfort each other, and just help each be the best they can be. Tam would be able to talk to her about the Neverseen, and his parents, and Biana could talk to Tam about her scars, and Alvar. They even each other out and help each other be better. All in all, they're good for each other and would make each very happy.

And finally, here are some my Tiana headcanons to show you how cute they are <3

Biana buys Tam bouquets or flowers. One time, Tam mentioned that he liked flowers, and the next day, she arrived at Solreef, blushing a very bright red, and handed Tam a bouquet. Linh had to deal with a happily dazed and swooning Tam for a full 15 minutes.

They have movie nights at Solreef. (Solreef has a mini theater for when they watch human movies.) They'll cuddle up on the couch together, laughing and having fun, and falling asleep.

They are the MOST competitive people you will ever meet. On their own, they're competitive, but together, oh boy is it dangerous to be on the other side. Almost everything is a competition. Sometimes they've had to sit out in Base Quest because they made it too much of a deal. Sometimes the crew does Tam and Biana vs. Everyone else (Tam and Biana almost always win).

Tam's ticklish. Like, really ticklish. Biana's one of two people who knows (the other is Linh, though she doesn't really acknowledge it anymore) and she 100% uses it to her advantage. If she wants to go shopping but Tam's being a bit lazy, she'll just carefully graze her fingers on his side... Or sometimes she just wants to see Tam laugh. It makes her feel good. She loves him laughing, and smiling, and giggling. She gets all warm and fuzzy inside. ...Or when she's just bored.

Tam designs and makes clothing for Biana. (I headcanon that he's obsessed with clothing and fashion, like Biana is.) After Biana got her scars, he promised her that he'd show her that they can and are beautiful. A few weeks later, he comes to Everglen, and hands Biana one of the most gorgeous dresses she's ever seen. It was because of seeing how beautiful she looked in the dress did she start realizing that her scars were a part of her now.

Physical touch is probably their biggest love language. Like, no matter where they are, they need to be in some kind of contact. Walking in Atlantis? Arm around waist. Black Swan meeting? Hand holding. Lunch with the crew? Hand on knee/thigh.

Tam has very unnoticeable freckles around his cheeks, and sometimes Biana will just stare at Tam from across the room, counting them. (To be fair, she'd stare at him either way.)

Biana gives Tam a ton of compliments. He's never really been complimented as a child, or even now, so when they start dating, Biana's 10x more open about complimenting Tam. She'll start casually calling him "pretty" or "amazing" or "literally the best person in the entire world" etc etc. And since Tam isn't used to it, he almost always gets all blushy and shy and giggly about it.

Every time Biana hears Keefe joke about Tam being 'shady' and 'darkness in the flesh' she's smirking to herself because the Tam she knows is literally the cutest, funniest, and most adorable thing she's ever seen.

Tam's 6'2 and Biana's just about 5'5 (when they're completely grown). Tam teases her about being short.

Tam takes Biana out on dates in Atlantis often. He knows how much she loves shopping, so they'll go to a few shops and look around, and he'll get her a few things.

They're the biggest on cuddles. It's the most important thing EVER to them. They won't (intentionally) do it when others are around. Neither of big fans of that much PDA. But when its just them, CUDDLES <3

Tam's ace, so kisses are rare coming from him, and it makes Biana flustered. Sometimes, he'll kiss her just to see her blush.

They secretly date for the longest time ever, and at one point, they just don't care anymore and are way more open about their relationship in front of everyone. And obviously, they don't tell anyone about the sudden switch, so everyone's like "??? What??? When did they get so close??"

They love each other so freaking much and I ship them so hard I could EXPLODE

And you have it <3 Why I ship Tiana, and why YOU should too <3 thank you.

(tagging because I can): @keefe--sencen @swans-chirping-in-the-distance @frizzle-mcshizzle @theleopardstalker )

#this took way to long to do #I almost cried because there are so many beautiful Tiana moments but I can analyze every single one of them because my hands would fall off #its summer for me yet I spent the time to write a full essay #please tell me you ship Tiana now because I spent a very long time on this i've spent like 7 hours on this maybe all day #but it was worth it!!#Tiana vs dexiana #Dexiana shippers TAKE THIS MUAHAHAHA #I'm kidding I don't actually mean that #mya's tiana essays #I mean not really #Stellarlune doesn't have any Tiana or dexiana moments in it #so I have nothing to say to that book #kotlc #kotlc tiana #tam x biana #tam song #biana vacker #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc ships #my ship <3 #shadysparkles #tags are a mess #kotlc tam #kotlc biana #biana x tam #tiana #kotlc headcanons #kotlc shitpost #kotlc rant #kotlc thoughts

42 notes · View notes

shoyosh · 27 days ago

Text

i love you like the sun. h.s

general audiences | hinata / reader | 2.4k words — post-timeskip, childhood friends, reader is a university student, reader's mother owns a bakery, reunion :), sun/moon motifs perchance, not proofread! — read on SqWA

summary: while consumed in a blind race against the world, a comfortable beam of light returned to your life to guide your path forward.

author's note: for the fellow hinata stans out there shoveling through life, i suppose this is what a character like hinata would want to remind us :) happy belated birthday hinata... sob, sob. this is so late lol. title taken from the moon will sing by the crane wives (youtube).

Your short trip to the convenience store for a midnight snack is a growing nightmare as the machine rejects your payment. You don't have cash so on your second try, you close your eyes and wish for the best.

You're hungry and tired, the worse combination to deal with the pathetic 'loading…' screen. It's the ultimate test of patience as seconds tick by, and you're about to lose it…

Beep!

You sigh, reining your head from dropping on the counter top. The tech menace flaunts a large, bold 'ERROR!' It proceeds to shut down. While it feasted on your fear and patience, you got the short end of the stick. Seems like you'll be starting your all-nighter with an empty stomach.

Ding! The store bell rings. A customer has entered just in time to see your plight. What a happening night of unfortunate circumstances.

"I am so sorry for the trouble," you mutter, grabbing your item off the counter. The cashier takes a marker from a drawer underneath, swirls to the cabinet behind for a piece of paper, and writes "Cash Only" before finding a metal stand to prop the notice. Then, he calls the next customer.

It's just a fluffy, yellow, and warm melon bread. You can survive this deepening lonely night without it as you've done before.

This convenience store has served you diligently since your youth. Today is an outlier, not the end of the world. You're low on energy hence you shouldn't waste it on strong emotions, especially not tears.

You shake your head and leave the queue to place your item back on the shelf.

"Wait! I'll pay for you!" a voice says. Your eyes brighten. Who is this stranger whom you owe? Your saviour who will help you plough through this empty, blue and bleak night?

When you spin around, you stare straight at the sun.

Short yet tousled orange hair, tanned skin, and intense brown eyes. The man in front of you is more happy than surprised to see you.

"Hinata-san?" You sputter, pointing at him as he points back at you with a complementary wide grin. He seems to want to say your name but a question leaps from your tightening throat: "You're back in Japan?"

Just as he's about to reply, the cashier coughs and Hinata returns his attention to paying. He shares he wants to pay for your item, so you hand it to the cashier for another round of scanning. You also use the opportunity of his back against you to wipe any stray water at the corner of your eye.

Once he makes the purchase, both of you walk out of the convenience store. Warm summer air blows on your face the moment the glass doors slide open.

"What are you doing awake at this time?" Hinata asks while you're preoccupied with opening the plastic of your anticipated snack. It seems he did not buy anything.

"I should say the same for you!" Your mouth is filled with bread, muffling your pronunciation but unable to cushion the excitement in your voice. "Did you not tell anyone you are back?"

"Only my family knows for now." Hinata watches you carefully as you chow your mini-meal. "I landed a few hours ago and will be leaving in a few days. I don't think I have time to catch up with everyone... This trip was unplanned."

You press your lips together at the thought he didn't contact you for something as big as his a return.

Only after rumination, ensuring none of the hurt spills, do you speak.

"It's been so long since we last saw each other."

"I'm back to celebrate my birthday with my family. I believe the last we saw each other was on my birthday too."

You cough to readjust a lump of chewed bread that almost went down wrongly.

Birthday?

You tilt your phone's screen to see the date.

21st June.

Memories of a near distant past return, rearing you speechless as it plays in front of you like a film.

You remember Hinata, on his way to celebrate his last birthday as a high school student, riding his bicycle to your mother's neighbourhood bakery; You rejecting his invitation to go out so you can study for an upcoming test; The impromptu picnic at the park disrupted by your silent outburst; Him calmly convincing you to rest, not cram your head with revision.

"How embarrassing…" you mutter, wrestling with a sudden and strong desire to run to your apartment and never see the light of day. "I wish you'd forget that. I know I did."

"How can I forget! You were so stressed and I was so worried. But you did sleep and texted me the next day that you were feeling better. You were the top scorer for your test too! Isn't that the best birthday present?"

Your face heats up. Surely it is the summer night that is causing such a reaction. Did he know the effect he had on people? Shining smile and all. Does he know what effect he has on you? How unwavering it is despite the time and distance apart.

"I'm full," you declare, passing him your half-bitten melon bread. He didn't say it but you know he probably wants a bite of it too. It is his favourite. "You haven't tasted this in a while right? They don't sell this in Brazil, do they?"

"It's not as delicious." He takes the food, fingers brushing yours. You try to keep your hands to your side as naturally as possible, as if contact with his skin didn't inject a thousand chills into your system, blood rushing to your face.

"Why are awake at this hour though?" He asks.

"I'm just hungry." You shrug.

He chows down the melon bread. Then, he narrows his eyes.

"You wouldn't be if you were asleep though…"

"Obviously," you tease, trying to steer the conversation away from your tendency to sleep late. "Now it's your turn to share what you're doing here."

The convenience store is far behind as you and Hinata stroll down the street at a familiar leisurely pace. You walked this path with him every day up till high school, when he went to a school beyond the mountains, Karasuno. You didn't stay in the neighbourhood either. You were awarded a scholarship for a school in the city.

It pained you to realise how far apart you were from your best friend then. But he was always nearby. Although infrequent throughout high school, he would peer through the glass windows of the bakery looking for you. Sometimes you'll visit his house for dinner when your mother had deliveries out of town. Moments you spent with him were sun-drenched. Without him, you easily receded into long, gloomy nights of revising. There was no other option if you wanted to hold your scholarship among a pool of talented people. You even decided against staying at the University dorms to have his shade of orange in your life.

You can't say you took the news of him traveling to Brazil well.

It was easy to drown in the deep blues of the night since. Burning your memories in exchange for output, so there were less things to painfully hold on to.

"I'm still following Brazil's clock." Hinata laughs, then points at the moon but you look at him. "It's bright in Brazil. I would be at the beach hitting some drills."

As you pass the lamplight, you observe his new physique. He has an uneven tan around his shoulders and thighs that are larger and more formed. You try to tear your eyes away from it, but they linger even as both of you enter a shadowed area of the road. If you knew you would bump into him, you would wear something presentable. You are in your loose pajamas, and unlike Hinata who is in a sleeveless top and sports shorts, you aren't prepared for the warm weather. The trip to the convenience store was supposed to be quick.

"Let's drop by my place, if you don't mind," you offer.

"Sure! I was planning to walk you back anyways, and there's nothing to do at home."

"Do you not have plans for your birthday?"

"Not until tomorrow." He shakes his head and hesitates. He glances at you innocently which signals he's far from innocent but your desire to question him is swept away with his large sigh. "The cake my parents bought will only come then."

"It's a custom cake? I can't think of any other reason why it can't be fulfilled on the day of the—wait… My mum was busy making an order for a special cake, and she said it was something I'll look forward to… Is that your cake?"

Hinata rubs the back of his head as he looks at everything but you, eyes frantically jumping from lamppost to the ground to the roof of houses.

"I…" He pouts like a dog with its tail between its legs. "My return was supposed to be a surprise…" His voice tapers to a whisper, but Hinata has the lungs of a beast. He roars the next few words. "I was supposed to send you a surprise invite to my birthday party tomorrow, but I really wanted to see you!"

You stand at the sidewalk, limbs limp and eyes wide. If you were still eating, you would have dropped your snack.

He wanted… to see you?

But you have more important things to stress about!

Tomorrow? After your all-nighter to finish your work, you'll crash! You might need a drink for that extra energy boost throughout the night…

"Is something wrong?" Hinata asks, his eyes now steadily on you. "I heard from your mum you have been working hard. That's why your replies are so sparse, isn't it?"

"I wasn't… ignoring you," you mumble, remembering how he'll send you a text and you'll reply a month later. "Yeah, things have been getting really busy."

He crosses his arms, puffing his chest out.

"I knew you'd be at the convenience store."

"Eh?" A second blow of surprise. Maybe you've overworked yourself. This is a dream, isn't it? You pinch your cheeks and flinch at the pain.

"You haven't changed, have you? Do I need to be here to take care of you?" He leans, eyes sharp and focused, as if you'll be able to see yourself through his irises. You'll never know in the dimness, but it does feel he's caged you in his sight.

"E-Eh!!" You stumble back, chains of embarrassment are latched on your shoulders and calling you to the floor. "Please don't say such stuff so abruptly. I can't take it."

Hinata chortles, filling your chest with a warmth that coddles your heart battered by his absence. You missed this laugh of his. An aunty turns on the lights in her room and opens her window to scold both of you, and her incessant insults about being lovesick birds causes that feeling to climb to your face.

After apologising, the short distance to your house is awkward, but he invites himself in like old times once he's reached, as if the summer he left was a fever dream.

"Sorry, everything is all over the place," you warn as you flick your room's lights on. Stacks of books overflow from your shelf while stationary and miscellaneous items sprawl on your desk, your laptop the epicentre of the mess. You dump yourself in your chair and instinctively start working as Hinata makes himself comfortable sitting at the edge of your bed. But it's not enough to please him as he gets up and observes over your shoulder.

"That's a lot of words."

"It's a report I've got to finish by tomorrow." Your fingers fly across the keyboard. Seconds later, they are deleted. "It's a pain in the ass."

Hinata giggles. "I've never heard you say that."

"Everyone says worse stuff in University. It really wrings you dry." You get up to pull a stool from under your bed for him to sit on. His name written in cheap red marker across the seat is faded and smeared.

"Have you been living like this? Your bed feels almost new while your chair looks worn." His fingers ghost over some scratch marks on the backrest.

Do I need to be here to take care of you?

"It feels like I don't really have a choice."

"Well, since neither of us can sleep, let's go through this night together."

With Hinata's presence, the night is less blue.

When you wake, it is late morning. Your alarm has been ringing for hours, and you turn to your side after shutting it off. With your head resting on your soft pillow, blanket over your figure, and the air conditioning gently buzzing to cool your room to a comfortable temperature, it’s the perfect equation for staying in bed. However, hazy memories of your report jolts you to your feet.

What happened last night? Where did you stop? Where's Hinata? You dash towards your screen—

There is a post-it-note at the corner with a message written in neat yet uneven handwriting.

You check your phone out of habit, surprised to find a notification. Hinata sent a text.

I went back home to sleep. You worked hard so I tucked you in bed ☆～（ゝ。∂）Hope to see you at the party tomorrow!

Another attack of summer—your face warms and you hide behind your hands. He tucked you in bed? That's so embarrassing. How are you going to face him during the party?

Once again, his words repeat in your mind.

Do I need to be here to take care of you?

If you can be selfish, the answer is yes.

But you know better than that. The sun is a distant star that shines out of reach.

You try to ignore the clock and its ticking numbers, and once your anxiousness surrenders to a calm, you pester your mother downstairs to make your favourite childhood drink. Her not-so-special spciality: hot chocolate. You haven't drank it in years. Taking the cup up, you settle in your chair and do some stretches.

You close your eyes facing your window. The sun's rays seep through your eyelids, a splash of unforgettable orange paints your view.

Even if Hinata can't be with you as often as you'll like, you'll always have traces of him to guide you through the endless night.

You take a deep, big breath and read the reminder he left on your laptop.

Take it easy.

author's note: this story was inspired by this video by lessons from anime (youtube). started this fic on 24th june and tried to finish it before the month ended only to fail, but i picked myself up and somehow managed to squeeze this out. thanks for making it until the end! till my next hq fanfic :)

#haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #hinata x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata shouyou x reader #hq x reader #reader insert #x reader #chance ball #(#first work in this fandom & ofc it is for my bbyboi AHHH my blorbo...#truly PEAK mentality i am ashamed at how weak i am but we learn and grow #me comparing him to the sun? more likely that you think...#)

46 notes · View notes

catboygretzky · 7 months ago

Text

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr (The Sunshine Court Edition):

4/?

☀️ usctrojanny

jeremy knox saying jean moreau needs to get some sun bc he's too pale to pull off red and gold at the moment askjdfh i feel like anyone standing next to jeremy for longer than ten mins needs to wear SUNSCREEN bc that boy RADIATES. stick his sunshine ass next to jean and he'll be able to pull off the red and gold in no time 👍

248 notes

👁 jean-mor-uhoh

um!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ HELLO LISTEN 🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!! i'm the only one to ever win ever BECAAUSE MY FAVORITE BACKLINER WITH NO DISCERNABLE PERSONALITY BESIDES BEING TALL AND FRENCH IS NO LONGER A RAVEN 🗣️ NOT ONLY THAT HE'S A LITERAL TROJAN?!?! I WILL BE SEEING HIM ON THE COURT IN PERSON ???🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

#this ....don't call don't text i will not be answering bc JEAN MOREAU IS A TROJAN

60 notes

😎 foxyknoxy

absolutely losing it about jeremy knox announcing jean moreau is going to usc next year immediately after they lost to the ravens like !!!!!!! it's going to be DELICIOUS i can't wait for the NARRATIVES ohhh mygoddd JEAN MOREAU?! A TROJAN?!?!?!

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

✍️✍️✍️ ooooo narratives u say

😎 foxyknoxy

even ALREADY like.......i've been to both evermore and the gold court and they can't more different. i've never met jean (....has anyone?????) but i've met jeremy (can confirm 'captain sunshine' is not an act) and ANYONE going from RIKO to JEREMY is.......let's just say the sun and moon edits are gonna SLAP

443 notes

🌸 a-softer-exy

jean moreau - new beginnings

#usc #university of southern california #usc trojans #trojans #jean moreau #exy #web weave #poetry

2,074 notes

🫡 exyisntreal follow

i don't usually do this bc it's my job and they're just classmates to me but as we are working with CRUMBS right now: just watched jeremy knox physically (PHYSICALLY) drag jean moreau into the coffee shop. LIKE BABYGIRL THAT FRENCH FUCK (affectionate) IS TWICE YOUR SIZE WHY R U DRAGGING HIM AROUND

(jean ordered a small black coffee bc of course he did)(dont ask how many shots of espresso jeremy ordered bc u don't want to know)

17 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

not to be a lesbian on main but ooohhhh my godddddd OH my GOD can catalina alvarez STEP ON ME i'm gonna fucking LOSE IT

205 notes

🥰 boytoyjeremyknox follow

how have i not seen everyone yelling about jeremy/jean??? do i follow the wrong people???

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

i'm pretty sure they've known each other for like a week bro

🥰 boytoyjeremyknox follow

but they have EVERYTHING!!! tan cali boy vs pale frenchman. personalities that will PROBABLY clash but AKJSHD what if they DON'T, backliner/foward, light/dark, moon/sun.............it's all there!!!!!!!

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

ok ok ok you are so right i see ur vision i am sorry i doubted you

#you forgot HEIGHT DIFFERENCE btw #usc #jerejean #is that the shipname? #1129

579 notes

🌸 a-softer-exy

jeremy knox

#usc #university of southern california #usc trojans #jeremy knox #trojans #exy #web weave #poetry

3,089 notes

#all for the game #the sunshine court #tsc #tsc spoilers #jeremy knox #jean moreau #jerejean #once again a-softer-exy is the most accurate to sportsblr of all time #exyblr

61 notes · View notes

sanaxo-o · 7 months ago

Text

Magnetic (Eric Sohn)

Too @sohnric : Happiest Birthday my Eric Stan 🥺. Omg you’re older now damn…okay to start off I hope you enjoy your day to the fullest and keep on being unhinged like always 🥺. Thank you for always being there for me and saving my ass from Izzy 🧍‍♀️. I love you loads and I hope you always know that. This is just something small I prepared for you since well…it’s your birthday. I hope you enjoy this even tho it’s not that good 🥺😭. Love you <3 and yes this is the reason why I did not ask you too beta read the Eric fic 🧍‍♀️💔. P.S don’t worry I did not stay up the whole night. I set an alarm clock to wake up sat 3:30 😚. I hope I wake up 🧍‍♀️. If it comes late then you know why that is! Well last but not least, enjoy your day to the fullest :) let’s keep on talking about Weak Hero Class 1 and what not in the future too <3

Warnings/Genre: friends too lovers, cursing, making out, mentions of food, Eric is kind of flirty (I tried), sunshine x moon trope, reader is very oblivious, reader is a psychology major (idk if psychology majors have jury or no but I searched on google and google said arts students have jury so I think I am right but ik it’s wrong!), drinking but not really since they don’t drink in the scene (reader is just getting the after effects of drinking), reader likes to crochet! A small joke made out of the Shakespeare drama Julius Caesar 😭. I guess that’s it…lmk if I miss anything!

Word count: 6,077

Sana: Hihi, I am back with an Eric fic (I have more Eric fics than I have for my own bias wow). This is just a small something I wrote for bar so I hope you guys also like this. A special and huge thanks to @quaissants @strayed-quokka and @o-onikix for beta reading this and helping me in the process. And also a huge thanks to @sungbeam for making the banner for me 🥺🫶🏻. Love you. I was too scared to ask ally to beta because it was not my best work 💔. I was gonna add the other banner for this but then my friends moms said that it looks like he has a pacifier in his mouth so I was like nvm 😭.

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @sohnric @mosviqu @deoboyznet

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

All this was new to you. These feelings, these butterflies wandering in your stomach, the feeling of love, those red cheeks, the feeling of falling in love and at last, him. He was new to you.

All these feelings you had were so new for you. Deep down you always knew and expected to love a man similar to you, and yet he was the complete opposite of what you could’ve imagined.

That is why it was a complete shock for you when you understood your true feelings for Eric Sohn, who was the complete opposite of what you expected your partner to be.

He was like the sun, always bright and drawing everyone's attention, annoying the hell out of them. And you were like the moon, lover of quiet places because they’d let you wander around your own world.

He was the polar opposite of you. You liked having your own space while he…well he loved getting into other’s space and annoying the hell out of them. That’s how you liked to describe him most of the time.

If anyone ever asked you what you thought about Eric,the first thing to come to your mind was ‘He’s a good guy but he’s noisy.’ Which is true! No matter the time or place,Eric would always have at least some energy to spare for you.

Sometimes you admire him for having that much energy in him. Like how can someone go a whole day screaming here and there without feeling tired or having a sore throat??

Blinking your eyes,you look down at the crochet you were working on, only to sigh in disappointment when you realise that you had messed up the pattern, again.

Still continuing with your work,you pay no mind to the people around you who were talking and screaming loudly with their fellow peers. You were fixated on finishing on whatever this was going to turn out to be.

“What’s that?” You hear a voice ask from beside you which makes you halt your hands and look up, only to give out a small grin when you realise that it was none other than Eric Sohn.

“Ah well…it was supposed to be a cute frog but I don’t know what it is anymore.” You mumble quietly as you go back to crocheting the now demonic frog (that was your personal assumption).

“I think it’s cute though.” He says softly as he looks into your eyes when you look up at him again.

You divert your gaze everywhere around the room, just to ignore his. Everything was now interesting, even the guy who was hogging the food. Your cheeks continue growing bright in colour as you try your best to avoid his intense gaze.

“You do not have a good taste then.” You say with sass as you elbow his stomach when he snorts at your reply.

“Really? But I am friends with you. Does that still mean I have bad taste?” He says cheekily and places his head on his hands which were placed on the table. Looking up at you he brings his hands up and pokes your cheek softly.

“That’s not what I meant! You know that!” You yell at him but soon a small smile comes up on your lips when you feel his fingers poking your cheek continuously.

“Your words, not mine but, let’s leave it like that. I came here to ask you something else..” Eric says that as he sits up properly while fixing his now messy hair.

You stop your hands from crocheting as you push Eric's hands away from his hair when you realise that he is just making them more messy than they already were.

“Your eyes are pretty..” Eric whispers softly. You momentarily stop fixing his hair, as you stare into his eyes for a moment, only to cough to hide your embarrassment.

“Stop that..” you say shyly as you fix his last strand of hair and move away from him to keep some gap between you two which you had closed without neither of you guys realising.

“Stop what? And you coughed on my face, thank you very much.” He says sarcastically as he grabs your handkerchief to wipe his face jokingly.

“Whatever,” you mumble as you snatch your handkerchief from his hand and go back to crocheting. “What did you want to talk about anyways?” You mumble as you again fix your gaze on the frog (which had these huge ass eyes and looked more like a demonic creature hence, the name.) you were crocheting again.

“I was wondering, since we’re free after our jury today and the sem is over now.. We would mostly be free, right?” He asks cautiously as he takes away your frog and places it on the table to have your full attention on him.

“Where are you going with this?” You ask in complete confusion when Eric takes ahold of your hand in his and places them on his lap making you face him.

“Promise that you won’t back out once I tell you about the plan.” He says while putting his pinky finger in front of you, urging you to lock yours with his as a way to keep the promise tact.

You stare at him and then at his finger for a moment before letting out a small sigh at his childish behaviour. “Fine, promise. Now tell me..” you say with a small grin when he breaks the fingers apart but still having a hold of your other hand in his large ones.

“We have a sealed deal, okay? This gesture means that I can break your finger if you don’t stay true to your word and break our promise!” He says while pointing his finger at you. You only smile at him and nod your head when he boops your nose with his finger.

“Everyone was planning to go to the amusement park tomorrow in the evening…I was wondering if you wanted to join us? Wait- no I want you to join us.” You stare at Eric when he says that.

You didn’t hate going out per se, but you would rather just stay at home on the last day of the sem,catch up on your lost sleep and the dramas—be a couch potato in general.

You had a lot more time to have fun with your peers and friends the day after. You just needed some alone time away from everything and just focus on yourself.

Before you could even back down you remembered how you had promised Eric to not back out of whatever he was about to ask.

“For how long?” You ask him as you stand up and grab your stuff to exit the cafeteria with Eric by your side.

“Just for a few hours. We were planning on going to the new restaurant which had opened up but if you get too exhausted we can just go over to your place and order some food. I know how you get when you’re exhausted..” he says with a smile as he grabs most of your stuff and carries them for you instead of you having to ask him to do so.

You smile at his gesture knowing how he would always step in first to help you out even when they’re just small things.

You liked how he was always so observant and not full of himself unlike some people you knew in the past.

It’s the little things he does which makes your heart beat grow faster. It makes you feel like you just came back from running somewhere or as if you dashed through the hallways to reach your class on time.

It’s as if your heart starts pounding whenever he is closer. You sometimes wonder if you can hide your feelings well or not. Because even from afar, he looks so…surreal. The only thing that comes to mind when your eyes meet his is ‘oh my gosh, his eyes are so pretty’. You do wish to drown in those deep eyes, sometimes.

If staring at him for the whole day was a paid job you’d probably be a billionaire by now because of how much you stare at him.

“Maybe we can go to the nearby club when I am more free? Just the two of us are fine.” You tell him as you grab your books from his hands and enter your class, not waiting back to hear his reply knowing he was just going to agree with what you just said.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Standing beside Eric you look around in awe amazed by the different kinds of rides in the park.

You notice Eric walking away for a moment saying he wanted to buy something urgently so you paid him no mind and just gave a small nod at him acknowledging his words.

you were so immersed by everything that you failed to notice his return. He came back, holding two cotton candies in his hands.

“Here.” You hear his voice beside you.

Looking at him your eyes gleam with happiness when you take notice of the pink coloured sugary sweet in his hand which he was offering to you.

“Thanks!” You say happiness evident in your voice and your features as you take a few bites out of the cotton candy.

“Woah, can we ride that?!” You shout in excitement as you grab Eric’s hand and pull him towards the queue to buy the tickets for the ride.

You look back at Eric when you see him just standing behind you with a straight face, no expression adorning his facial features as he smiles at you nervously when he notices your excited gaze looking back at him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask once you notice his nervousness.

“Are you sure…you want to ride that?” He asks while scratching the back of his neck while trying to look anywhere but you.

He could feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment knowing he’s just ratting himself out by trying to avoid getting on the ride.

“Yes! I have always wanted to try this out with someone!” You say with excitement as you wave his hands around trying to convince him to get on the ride with you.

“Since you’re insisting and begging so much…I might as well get on the ride with you. Don’t worry, you can hold onto my hand if you get scared!” He says with fake enthusiasm (and probably even gaslighting himself into believing that he would be fine on the ride) as he grabs your hand and drags you towards the ticket counter. “Ticket for two please.” He requests the cashier.

“We don’t have to ride it if you’re scared or something..” you reassure him when he starts walking towards the first seat of the ride.

“No, I want to. I told you I am there to protect you, didn’t I?” He bluffs as he lets you settle down in the ride before getting in right after you.

After helping you fasten your seat belt,he looks around the area in wonder when he feels the ride moving slowly.

He could feel his palms getting sweaty with fear and nervousness when the ride started moving, but he tried his best to stay calm and collected.

Closing his eyes he pays attention to the sounds going on and off through his ears as he tries to drown them out when he feels your warm hands embracing his sweaty, colder ones.

Peeking through his right eye he could see you looking ahead with excitement when the ride came at the most exciting part.

“Can…can you hold my hand?” You hear his small voice squeak through his throat as he holds out his hand for you to hold it.

“And you said you were the one to protect me.” You tease as you immediately grab his hand in a tight grip to help him calm down.

“Woah okay…” you turn your head and look at Eric’s flushed face as you rub your thumb against the back of his hand in a way to give him some comfort. “Why is this going so sl-” before he could complete his sentence a loud scream escapes his lips as he pulls you closer to him with great force.

Letting out a scream you look ahead of you as you feel your heart thump in fear that’s what you hoped so when Eric clutched your hand tightly while pulling you closer.

You could feel his breath fanning your face making you shiver. Closing your eyes you look away from his face as you look around the view when the ride starts to slow down.

Loosening your hand which was gripping onto Eric’s, you slowly let go of it as you immediately undo your seatbelt and get out of the ride when the ride comes to a complete stop.

“Oh..let’s go to a restaurant or somewhere..” you mumble tiredly as you start walking away from him. Too embarrassed and shy to look at Eric’s face.

“Aren’t you tired though?” Eric mumbles once he catches up to you. Gripping onto your hand he takes hold of your purse so that you can walk more freely.

“You don’t have to do that..” you say softly as you try to take your purse back from him only for him to gently push your hand away in reassurance.

“It’s fine. I can handle that.” He says as he pulls you closer by your waist and leads the way to his car. “Oh…is this the frog you were crocheting?” He mumbles once his eyes catch the small crocheted item made by you.

Keeping it in the backseat, he helps you put your seatbelt on. “Let’s head back over to my house. You already look exhausted with all the activities you did.”

You look over at him when he says that. He really does pay attention to the small details related to you. “I thought you wanted to go out and have some dinner with the guys?” You say softly while eyeing his side profile.

His lips which always looked so kissable, you admit to yourself that there were times when you had thought about kissing Eric but he does not have to know that, now does he?

“Hmm no it’s fine. I would rather spend the night with you than listen to them talking about some stupid things.” He says with a chuckle as he gives your hand a light squeeze in reassurance. “Oh by the way, can I have the frog you crocheted?” Eric asks once he had stopped laughing.

Looking at you for a split second, his eyes travel down to your lips for a split second only for them to divert back to your eyes.

“Why would you want that?” You question back, your brows furrowing in confusion as you grab your purse from the backseat and stare at the crocheted frog which was handing on the chain.

You didn’t exactly like it because it was not your best piece, you were still learning and you just crocheted for fun and to help you with stress.

You made the frog crochet into a keychain because you did not want to throw it away despite it not being the best thing you made.

“I like it, it’s cute!” He says with a smile on his face. His cheekbones rising up making his cheeks look puffy (in a cute way of course).

“It’s so not cute, Eric..” you say with a sigh as you shake your head at his silliness when he whines at your answer.

“Why can’t I just have it? I like everything you crochet..” he replies back once the car comes to a halt at the red light. “Come on, let me have it. I will treasure it the same way I treasure you..” he says softly as he places his hand on your thigh to convince you.

Looking up at him you break eye contact almost instantly when you notice him staring at you intensely, “Look at me..” he whines as he places his hands on your cheeks and makes you stare at him. Squishing your cheeks together he lets out a small laugh while looking at your lips which were in an ‘o’ shape. “Give me the frog please.” He pleads while batting his eyes together in a fast motion to try and convince you (well hopefully).

You could feel your heart beating at a fast pace again. If you could, you would just kiss him but that’d be too reckless of you, no? Snapping out of your thoughts you clear your throat and speak up.

“I can make one for you especially..” you say, your words coming out a bit jumbled because of your cheeks getting squeezed together.

“You can?” Eric asks softly as he slowly pulls away from you and turns ahead when the light turns green.

“Of course, since you so badly want the frog I can just make something else for you. Something better..” you say with a nod as you keep your bag in the backseat again.

“But I would still be happy if you gave me the frog crochet..” he replies in a sing-song voice as he turns on the radio to play some songs.

You sigh when he says that, there’s no winning against Eric when it comes to something he wants. You knew how stubborn the latter was. Youjust couldn't argue with him, especially with those eyes of his, which would always sparkle when talking with you (it might be your delusion speaking, but you always saw his eyes sparkle when talking with you and you only).

You smile in delight when Eric plays Best Years by 5sos. He still remembers your favourite artist. He was also the one who accompanied you to the concerts and saw you going crazy, so it was kind of an unforgettable experience.

You sigh in satisfaction as you look out the window in content while humming and singing along to the lyrics of the song while Eric drives the car.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Entering the house you place your bag on the counter table as you go in the washroom to wash up.

Knowing Eric, he might already be ordering some food so that was least of your worries. The guy knew your favourite food all too well.

Turning on the shower you wait for the water to get hot as you strip off your clothes.

Once it is lukewarm, you enter the shower as thoughts start to occupy your mind.

Did you really like Eric? Or was your heart just not functioning properly? And….and those butterflies wandering in your stomach when he does or remembers something you like. Oh gosh! You never felt this way for any guy before, that’s for sure.

You and Eric are like the polar opposites, everyone knows that. They still wonder how you and Eric are still together as friends knowing how the other guy is.

You were someone who always preferred your own space, you liked being in your own shell and just being lost in your thoughts.

Eric was the opposite! He was always outgoing, just like everyone calls him the social butterfly and boy was he true to that name given to him.

He could instantly make anyone comfortable with him be it a small kid, an adult or someone older than him. He had that kind of charm in him.

Getting the bottle of shampoo which Eric had you start washing your hair with it as you think back to the time when Eric had approached you.

Flashback

Sitting at the back of your stats class, you try your best to pay attention to what the professor was saying but it was not that easy.

The headache you were having since the morning was getting worse, now it was truly your fault for going to a club with your friends on a Sunday night knowing you had early classes the very next day.

But what could you do when you just wanted a few drinks to get your mind of all the stress the major you were majoring in was giving you?

To put it simply, it’s not easy being a psychology major. The amount of assignments which are piling on your desk at the dorm and at your house along with all the essays you have yet to turn in.

No matter how many times you stay up all night the work just keeps on increasing, as if you broke the stop button.

So when your friends offered you to tag along with them to the nearby club for a few drinks how could you even turn them down? So of course you went along with them and had a little bit too much.

Massaging your temples with your eyes closed you try your best to think of something else. Anything to distract yourself from the massive headache you were having.

“Here, take some painkillers.” You hear a voice say from beside you. Turning your head around you could feel your voice getting stuck in your throat when you see the man sitting beside you.

Messy blond hair, he had decent casual clothes on. A pair of a hoodie with a cap on top of his head which was now in his hands since he was trying to fix his strands of hair which were getting in his eyes.

“Let me help you.” You say softly as you lean closer towards him and help him fix his hair.

You don't even know where you got this confidence from but it’s as if your hands moved on its own before you could even comprehend what you were about to do.

Leaning closer to his face you fix his hair as your eyes stay focused on his hair. You try your best to not look anywhere else but the oversized hoodie was revealing his collarbones and you were oh so tempted to check him out but you stopped yourself.

“You have pretty eyes.” You hear him say. You did not even know his name and you were already blushing at something a stranger said to you? How could he have such a huge impact on you so quickly was beyond your imagination.

“Oh thanks haha.” You say with a shy voice as you move away from him before you do something you’d regret (example: kiss him).

“Oh here. Take it.” He says once you move away from him. Sliding the pills to you he grabs your bottle of water which was beside him and opens it up for you.

“How did you know I was having a headache? I don’t think we've ever met each other before.” You question him while taking a pill in your hand.

“Oh well we have a few mutual friends but we never talked with each other before. I was at the club yesterday and noticed you.” He explains himself while grabbing a random paper which was lying beside him to doodle on it.

“Ah I see..thanks for the medicine…?” You furrow your brows when you realise that he never introduced himself to you.

“Oh! It’s Eric but you can call me anything you’d like. Maybe…yours?” He says with a flirty and cheeky smile adorning his oh so handsome face. Standing up from the chair he gets ready to leave the classroom only to turn around to look at you again. “See you around..” he waits for you to complete the sentence.

“Y/N,” you say with a small smile. Scrunching up your nose, you close your eyes when he pats your head with his hand.

“See you around, Y/N.” Eric says as he starts walking away.

Flashback end

Turning off the shower you leave the washroom with a bathrobe wrapped around your body.

Opening up the closet of Eric’s you look through his clothes when your eyes catch the black hoodie off his. The same one he was wearing on the day you both met for the first time.

Grabbing the hoodie you slip into the clothes as you start drying your hair with the towel Eric had kept for you.

“Wait, let me help you.” You hear Eric’s voice say as soon as he walks in the room.

You look at him through the mirror as he helps you in drying your hair with the towel.

“You’re wearing that hoodie.” Eric says with a grin as he grabs the comb to untangle your hair.

“It’s comfortable..” you mumble with a small smile on your lips.

—x—

Sitting on the couch, you take a bite out of your pizza slice as you turn on the TV to watch the series.

From the corner of your eyes you notice Eric taking out a packet of ramen making you let out a groan in annoyance at his behaviour, “Why can't you just eat some of the food which is served right here instead of making some noodles which you inhale almost everyday?” You question him once you have swallowed your food.

Eric just shakes his head as he smiles at you sheepishly. You knew winning against him was useless since he won’t listen to you either ways so you just let him be and continue eating your food while sipping from your can of coke (very original 🙄).

Giving him a slice of pizza which was in your hand you rest your body against the armrest of the couch as you place your legs on his lap so that you can be more comfortable and relaxed.

Heaving out a sigh you look at the TV screen when a question pops into your mind. You give Eric a look as you notice how his whole attention was on the TV.

You always wondered why that man was never dating anyone when so many girls out there were quite literally dying for him. Even the slightest bit of attention given by that man to them made them feel accomplished.

Well technically in their eyes you were the one person who has accomplished their dream. Which was too close with Eric and well…you might be the only girl who would get his whole attention whenever you want it.

The man would quite literally drop whatever he was doing just so he could talk with you. That was also the reason why everyone used to call him a simp and a lovesick puppy for running around everywhere just to be with you.

“Why are you not dating anyone?” You ask suddenly while staring at Eric’s side profile. You widen your eyes when Eric starts coughing while holding his chest.

Immediately sitting straight you grab the glass of water which Eric had brought along with him. Standing up you walk beside him in hurry as you help him drink the water while rubbing his back soothingly hoping it’d help him calm down.

“Feeling better?” You asked nervously once Eric had stopped coughing. Once he gives a slight nod to your question you sign in relief as you go and take a seat beside him.

Taking a seat you grab ahold of Eric’s hand while massaging them gently.

“Why did you ask that question so suddenly?” Eric mumbles as he takes a big gulp of water while trying to control his breathing.

You just simply shrug at his question as you look away from him, anywhere but him. You did not have it in you to look him in the eye after asking such an absurd question.

“I was..I don’t know. Curious maybe?” You say in a hushed tone as you slowly bring your gaze back at him. If someone saw you right now, they’d think you dreamt about something scary because of the way your eyes were shaking. “I mean don’t get me wrong! It’s just that…everyone wants you as their boyfriend but you never pay attention to them. Why’s that?” You question him slowly.

“Do you want me to be your boyfriend?” Eric asks softly as he fully turns his body towards you to face you.

You could feel yourself choke at his choice of words as you immediately let out a nervous laugh when he says that.

“What are you talking about? I am serious Eric…” you say with a shy chuckle as you slap his shoulder gently. Trying to play it off coolly.

“Well then what about you then? A lot of guys I know like you, they even asked you out but you always turned them down. Why’s that?” He asks the question with his brows raised, waiting for you to answer his question.

You look down at the ground in wonder. Why did you turn them down? It’s not like you were waiting for someone else or were you? You immediately shake your head when you realise how Eric was avoiding your questions.

“Don’t change the subject!” You say with a glare as you flick his forehead gently.

You smile softly when he acts as if the flick hurted him knowing damn well that he was just acting to tease you.

“Do you just not see it?” Eric says while rubbing the back off his neck shyly.

You stare at him in confusion when he says that.Notice what? The way he pouts whenever he’s eating something he likes? Or the amount of tattoos he has on his body? Or maybe the fact that he's always having the same heart eyes when talking with you? Well of course you would ignore the last bit! But he doesn’t have to know that, now does he?

You just shake your head at his question, waiting for him to make himself clear so that you can assure yourself that whatever your hunch was telling you was in fact correct! “I like you silly..” Eric finally says with a small airy chuckle leaving his lips.

He moves closer towards you so that he can pull you closer, “I have never paid this much attention to someone before but you. It’s like…I am magnetised whenever I am with you. I cannot feel myself wanting to leave your side whenever we both are together. I always try to play it cool when it comes to you but I just seem to fail at that. Everyone knows that but you..everything about you sticks to my heart. It’s like…it’s something I cannot express in words.” He says softly while pulling you closer.

All you could ever think about at that moment was, ‘Oh my god?’ You couldn’t get yourself to believe it when Eric brought himself closer towards you, you immediately snapped out of your thoughts.

“Is it fine…if I?” You give him a small nod when he asks that.

And there it is, the spark you always felt whenever he did something oh so small but it always somehow made you feel special.

The way he gently grabbed a hold of your chin slowly moving to the back of your neck while his other hand gripped onto your waist, squeezing it lightly he pulled you closer while moving his lips in sync with yours.

You could feel yourself shiver at his feather light touches, especially when his hands started to travel up towards your spine. The lingering sensation stayed there even when his hand was already engulfing in your hair.

You immediately entangle your hands in his hair while kissing him to deepen the kiss.

—x—

You wrap your arms around Eric as you pull him closer towards you. You never thought you’d ever be cuddling with Eric like this.

I mean you never thought of Eric as someone who’d enjoy being the one being cuddled but looking at the man right now you could tell that he was enjoying this more than anyone.

You slowly snuggle closer to Eric as you listen to his calm breathing. You never thought that this day would come but here you are, laying on the same bed with Eric Sohn, cuddling together.

To say the least, you were content with what you had at the moment. This is all you could ask for.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Entering the auditorium you sigh in embarrassment when you see Eric, Sunwoo and Haknyeon playing around with the props which were lying on the stage.

It’s been a few months since you both made your relationship official. Everyone around you was obviously more than delighted to hear it, I mean the lovesick boy's love was finally accepted by you.

And ever since you guys made the relationship official, of course you guys were named for being the cutest couple and for making the singles in the group more single than ever because of how you and Eric flirt all the time when together.

You walk towards them with your hands behind your back as you let out a chuckle when Eric falls on the ground dramatically.

“Et tu, Brute? Wait no…Et tu, Sunwoo?” Eric says with hurt as he looks up at Sunwoo who was holding the sword in his hand with a crazy smile on his face.

You widen your eyes when Haknyeon pours some water on the floor as a way to depict the blood shed by Sunwoo.

You notice how Chanhee, who was sitting on the edge of the stage, starts hiding his face because of his friends behaviour.

You just go and take a seat beside him while you wait for Eric to take a notice of your presence.

You were about to open your mouth to speak with Chanhee when a loud voice beams through the whole auditorium making you laugh, “Y/N!” You immediately stand up from your seat and open your arms, waiting for Eric to hug you like always.

“When did you get here, sweetheart?” Eric mumbles, his face being placed on the crook of your neck as he melts in your warm embrace.

“Just now while you were imitating about being stabbed. I was about to talk with Chanhee when a certain someone came running here.” You say with a teasing smile.

You laugh when Eric glares at Chanhee playfully before holding you closer, “Mine!” Eric says to Chanhee before sticking his tongue out at him.

Chanhee just sighs and nods at the younger’s behaviour as he stands up from the seat to walk away from you both.

“Where are you going?” Eric questions in confusion when Chanhee starts walking away towards Sunwoo and Haknyeon who were, well…throwing water at each other.

“Not interested in looking at you both being all lovey dovey in front of me!” Chanhee shouts back as he gets on the stage which was a great mistake because he apparently became the boy's next target.

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a girlfriend like Y/N!” Eric teases and laughs loudly when Chanhee throws a middle finger at him while trying to save himself from the two boys.

Diverting his attention back to you he offers you a smile as he takes your hand in his while walking towards the exit door only to stop when you start looking through your bag.

“Here..” you take out a small crocheted keychain which was of a flower. It was abit tiny in size but it’s something Eric would cherish so you were more than happy to make something so special for him.

“For me?” He asks in astonishment while gently taking it from your hand. Scared it might fall apart if he grabs it aggressively.

“Sweetheart, it’s beautiful.” He mumbles while immediately attaching the keychain on his bag.

“You like it?” You ask with happiness. You were glad he liked the item you crocheted. When he gives you a nod you immediately hug him tightly. “I am glad you do! I was gonna crochet something else but then it turned out to be Sunwoo in evil form so I discarded it.” You say with a smile as you pull away from him.

Eric laughs at your choice of words while holding your hand tightly in his grip.

“Want to get some ice cream?” He asked once you were out of the auditorium.

Seeing you nod enthusiastically, he immediately starts dragging you towards his car.

Well as they say, opposites do attract and you were glad you found Eric. He was kind of like your other half, you never thought or even dreamt about this moment but here you were, going on an ice cream date with your boyfriend.

48 notes · View notes

anakin-pilled · 1 year ago

Text

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan.

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner.

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel.

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.”

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t?

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.”

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.”

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak.

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering.

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband.

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence.

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge.

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing.

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it.

“I know that I’m a fuck up.”

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible.

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to.

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment.

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis.

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate.

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.”

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew.

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that.

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot.

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good.

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider.

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father. He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next.

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first.

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out.

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest.

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now.

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold.

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents.

“My family and I are leaving the forest.”

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father. They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke.

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak.

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half.

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider?

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible.

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live.

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice.

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too.

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did.

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love.

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself.

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days.

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned.

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end.

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.”

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together.

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

170 notes · View notes