#I always forget how mean the narrative is!
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Lego Ninjago and Race: An Analysis for the Upcoming Live Action
I know there’s been a lot of discourse in the ninjago community since a live action movie has been announced, and there’s sure to be even more after the cast list is released. Many fans are afraid the cast will be all white, while others don’t care what race the ninja will be. Non-fans looking in from the outside might say, “Why does it matter? They’re legos, they’re yellow.” I’ve seen this argument more recently, especially revolving Arin in the soft reboot Dragons Rising.
The point of this longer post is to explain how race still exists in Ninjago despite the plastic, yellow nature of the characters, and why making the cast entirely or mostly white would be a disservice to the fans and the source material as a whole. So let’s ninja-go into this topic.
Part 1: Hair and Black-Coding
When people claim that legos don’t have race, they often claim it’s because they are yellow. However, they forget that legos still have humanoid characteristics, and one of the easiest ways to tell when a lego character is black-coded is to look at their hairpiece.
Here are some examples of hairpieces clearly meant to resemble black hair textures/hairstyles:
When characters have textured hair (i.e. Arin and Euphrasia from Ninjago) or locs/braids (i.e. Mateo and Zoey from Dreamzzz), it’s hard to argue they’re meant to be interpreted as anything other than black. And if that’s not obvious enough, there’s also:
Part 1b: Voice Actors and Black-Coding
People of color voice acting non-human characters doesn’t determine race, but it does add to character coding. This can be seen in characters from other shows, such as Darwin from The Amazing World of Gumball. Even though Darwin is a 2D animated goldfish, he has been voiced exclusively by black voice actors. Because of his voice (and other mannerisms/narrative elements), Darwin is generally accepted to be black-coded.
Being voiced by a person of color does not automatically make a character black-coded, but it can certainly add credence to characters who already have black characteristics, such as Arin and Euphrasia.
Part 2: Names
Another reason it’s hard for ninjago fans to interpret certain characters as white is because of their names. While many have stereotypical “American white boy names” (i.e. Jay, Cole, and Zane), other characters have names that are certainly not strictly American. Examples include Wu (a Chinese surname), Misako (a Japanese name), Chen (a Chinese surname), Okino (a Japanese surname) and Sora (Japanese given name). Ninjago may be set in a fictional world of animated, plastic people, but it’s still based on real-world names, and considering how a lot of the characters’ names come from East Asia, there is merit to declare that characters like Misako and Sora are meant to be interpreted as East Asian.
Part 3: Cultural Influences
Now, to the most obvious reason why it would be absurd to put an all-white cast on screen: the cultural influences. I am not Asian myself, but other ninjago fans have expressed frustration about the cultural melting pot that is Ninjago. It takes influence from both Eastern and Western cultures for its setting, worldbuilding, lore, and fantastical elements. Ninjago puts ninja, samurai, Kabuki, and Oni from Japanese history and culture, Djinn from Arabic regions, the yin/yang concept from Chinese philosophy, and dragons from various cultures into one narrative. There’s even a character named Ronin (which means a “wandering samurai”).
Additionally, the ninjago language seems to be inspired by Tategaki, an East Asian style of writing.
What this means is that Ninjago is brimming with real-life cultural influences. They rarely come from the same places and are not always faithful or accurate. In fact, they can sometimes seem borderline disrespectful and stereotypical in the earlier seasons- particularly with the portrayal of Chen and pilot Wu. However, it doesn’t take a genius to spot the East Asian cultural influences on ninjago. This is clear in the character designs, attire, and especially in the settings:
Part 4: What does this mean?
In summary, Ninjago is a fictional setting that takes inspiration from East Asian cultures, and has coded certain characters as certain races through more indirect means such as naming and designs. Even though none of the ninjago characters have 100% canon races, there is still evidence that some are meant to be interpreted as black or Asian. Therefore, making all the ninjago characters white would be a disservice to the fans AND the source material because it takes away subtle but essential parts of the characters and world.
Additionally: Representation matters. It could mean a lot for fans new and old to see the ninja becoming humanized and seeing themselves on screen. Not only would an all-white cast be unfaithful to the source material, but it would be disheartening to fans hoping for racial representation, especially in an age where “wokeness” is considered a touchy subject in some areas.
Part 5: Other Thoughts/Clarifications
The beautiful thing about Ninjago is that the Lego nature of the characters allows them to be interpreted in so many ways. The characters don’t have canon skin tones, eye color, body types, ages, heights, etc., so they can be whatever fans want. Whatever the fans interpret them to be or even what they feel like, they can be. And I think that’s beautiful.
TLDR: I don’t want the movie casting to limit the fan’s creativity or headcanons. Even if the cast isn’t entirely white, I hope people continue to make creations with their own interpretations of the characters.
Also: I urge fans to not harass the actors if they are white. I feel like the ninjago fandom is above that but I feel inclined to make this statement in advance regardless.
Finally: I’m leaving this post wide-open to discussion and discourse. I did surface-level research for the ninjago cultural influences, so if anyone wants to add on to or correct anything, feel free to do so. All I ask is that the conversations remain civil.
That is all :)
#ninjago#long post#ninjago live action#cole brookstone#jay walker#zane julien#lloyd garmadon#nya jiang smith#kai jiang smith#master Wu#Misako#essay#kinda#discourse#idk what else to tag#yapping a little#analysis#ninjago analysis#dragons rising#arin ninjago#sora ninjago
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Jiang Yalin was the oldest child of Jiang Fengmian and Jiang cheng's older sister. Her personality was mild, with nothing too notable; her voice was smooth, with nothing too memorable. Her appearance was only above average, and her talents weren't astonishing either. Amid the girls from the other prominent clans, it was only natural that she seemed a little average. On the other hand, her fiancée, Jin ZiXuan, was the exact opposite. He was the only official child of Jin Guangshan, with outstanding looks and exceptional talents. According to common sense, with Jiang Yalin's conditions, it was true that they weren't well matched with each other. She wasn't even qualified enough to compete with the other girls. The only reason why Jiang Yalin was able to enter an engagement with Jin ZiXuan was because her mother was from the MeishanYu sect, and the MeishanYu sect was quite friendly with the sect of witch Jin ZiXuan's mother was from.
Jiang yanli's first introduction
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the best reminder that LOST is a masterpiece is to watch any other drama series
#i dunk on lost and it's problems#with love AND frustration#and it can easy to forget how amazing it is if you compare it to itself#watch literally any other multi season drama with an ensemble and its like wow#yeah lost is one of Best Things In Television#and like i'm not even insulting every other drama. obviously there are ones that are good. what i mean is lost is so fucking good#also ya gotta love that 2004+ era of tv where a bunch of these shows were trying their best to have that lost flavour#suddenly a billion of dramas with 20 main characters with trauma and connections happened. twists! twists everywhere!#and suddenly flashback narratives became like 60% more popular#good stuff#i can't even think of an example because its just what television in general has become#that its easy to forget that serialized storytelling weren't always the norm#episodic was the typical way to tell stories in the 90s#thats part of why star trek deep space nine was so unpopular back then but has gotten new life in the modern world#twas a head of its time really
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I like how there’s a few moments in atla scream au that are just me looking the audience in the eye like btw this is where I’m going with this it’s very scream of me to break the 4th wall like that
#me referencing lake mungo & the og hill house like btw did u guys know this is a tragedy about being haunted#& not being able to break the cycles or escape#& being alone in the end because no matter how hard you try you’ll never escape the narrative#& the narrative is about death & loss & isolation <33#… the opposite of what anyone wants out of a FANFIC I think lol#unless you’re ME :)#it’s fun because I’ve never written anything with the actual intent to make this end on a classic horror movie note#NOT to leave the characters in a place of hope or reconciliation#of course it’s still Scream so naturally there is an element of that#but also one must not forget how broken the final girl or final girls of these movies are in the final shots#Sidney literally lived in an isolated fortress never even seeing other humans for a while#Emma & Sam both started hallucinating shit#wait Sam was always like that maybe she’s a bad example#u get what i mean
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I woke up yesterday morning to learn that Don Trump—the famed rapist, convicted felon, and white christian presidential candidate—had mimed performing a blowjob on his microphone stand to the clear delight of his crowd. There's a famous Christian thinker named Jesus H. Christ who you may have heard about; people will often say his full name when they see things like this. [...] It cuts against the dominant social narrative to say we need to fight the white supremacist cult, and this is for the very good reason that our society is traditionally white supremacist. If you suggest that a white supremacist cult's behavior and intentions are indecent and absolutely unacceptable, there is a general realization that this means not accepting it, which would inevitably mean the social exclusion and isolation of people committed to pursuing unacceptable behavior, and who have made indecent and unacceptable behavior a core part of their identity. And it's very unhealthy to be socially excluded and isolated. And who could be against health? In the eyes of those who control the platforms of communication, and in the halls of power, and in the minds of many comfortable and privileged people, it is a far less divisive act to hold a Nazi rally, crammed with racism and hatred and bigotry and Nazi speakers delivering Nazi slogans and Nazi intentions to enact Nazi policies, than it is to refer to such a thing as "a Nazi rally." In the eyes of those who control the platforms of communication, and in the halls of power, and in the minds of many comfortable and privileged people, saying you intend to fight a white supremacist cult is considered far more divisive and radical than being a part of a white supremacist cult who intends to force a fight with everyone else. In fact "we're still going to be sharing a nation with them and there are millions of them" is usually what's said to anybody who suggests we even oppose them. It's said as a reason to not oppose them, as a reason to not even name them for what they have chosen to be. "You can't just get rid of them," it's said. The suggestion seems to be that in so doing we are excluding them from society, isolating them, dehumanizing them, by naming what it is they have chosen to become (which, again, is a white supremacist cult), and by refusing to accept their unacceptable propositions as acceptable. It's not so popular to suggest that the answer is for white supremacists to change their behavior. It's far more popular to say we need to heal the white supremacist cult. It's far more popular to issue reminders that we need to leave paths open for the white supremacist cult to find redemption
Apology Not Accepted
Another exceptional post from Andrew Moxon that I encourage you all to make some time to read.
When all of this is over, no matter how long it takes to send Shitler to prison, I will not forget and I will not forgive the christian nationalist white supremacists who have brought us here.
This includes people I thought I knew.
We must drive these cancerous, violent, hateful people back into social isolation and societal rejection, where they have always belonged.
This includes people I thought I knew.
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Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.
Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.
But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.
The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.
It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.
Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.
I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.
I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#ask#Sorry for taking so long to reply to you on this. I’ve been in more of a drawing than a speaking mood lately#which is very unusual for me. This is definitely not as much of a post as it could be but I’m still not back on my thought and speech game#I know the Roxy mention was in brackets but good lord the treatment Roxy gets from fanbase is insane. Couldn’t help myself#Sorry if anything is worded badly. I’m tired per usual#I think (with no malice in my heart) people just tend to leave out what they don’t like about characters though.#I was very briefly talking with Pomme johnegbertirl#and it got me thinking about how far a lot of people’s interpretations of characters stray from what would be realistic to canon#based on their own biases. Which I guess I probably do too to a certain degree.#I’m not one to judge people for their characterisations at all#I tend to be very forgiving when it comes to reads#but… I admit that is indeed a little disappointing to see how completely ignored some parts of his characters are.#Sorry for tangent that is tenuously related. It is relevant enough to shove haphazardly into tags#I’m glad you like my Dirk ramblings though. Thanks brother#We live on
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the feeling of knowing it is done
it is often said, as neville pointed out, "it is done," and this is absolutely true. now, how can you live your daily life knowing that it is done? what would it feel like to go through each day, fully aware that your desires have already come to fruition?
usually, you would try to think of ways how it will happen, or when, or if you are closer to it—will it happen this year, this month, or not? and you have this narrative or belief that says, "oh, it's possible to happen this way, so I'm expecting this to happen this way more than that way because it feels more believable and not impossible." but that is not your job to know. yet that's the thing—we usually think about it all the time, especially when we are not guarding our thoughts. so, you'd rather do all these different techniques people do online because it won't hurt to follow them, right?
but what you're actually telling yourself is that you don't trust yourself—that you already have what it takes, that you already have your desires. your refusal to believe is the only thing that is keeping things at bay.
"so, do not ask how it’s going to be done. all i have to do is to completely yield to this being within me, for he has ways and means that i, on this level of my being, know not of. i rise then under compulsion. and under this compulsion, i go through a series of events, which will lead up to the fulfillment of that to which i yielded. i assume that it’s done." ♱ faith is loyalty to unseen reality, neville goddard
you put your desires on a pedestal, your focus is on wanting those desires, but WANTING something doesn't get you to the state of HAVING. the state of NOT having is thinking that your desires are going to make you feel better, or that they will make you feel like a new person, but you have to understand that the physical reality is mirroring you—your state, your thoughts, your feelings. nothing will change if you are expecting the physical reality to change first in order to change you.
that's not how it works.
your state should change first. there is literally no one to change but self. so, accept the fact that it is done. give yourself the capability to realize that it is already done. your beliefs, your perceptions, and your state should be aligned with your desires. what would it be like to have those desires? what would it be like to be the person you want to be? what does the best version of you, who has everything, think, feel, act, and believe?
when you are in a state of hurry, desperate to see your desires in your physical reality, it simply means you are not aligned with the vibration of the version of you who already has everything she desires. you are making it harder for yourself to realize that it is already done.
"to attempt to change the world before we change our concept of ourselves is to struggle against the nature of things. there can be no outer change until there is first an inner change." ♱ out of this world, neville goddard
rebrand yourself in a way that makes you feel that you have everything. because you do. your potential is buried deep inside of you, wanting to do everything that you are capable of. allow yourself to evolve, to change, to be the most authentic version of yourself. allow yourself to live knowing that it doesn't have to be difficult. allow yourself to live in the now—be so occupied in the now that you forget that you even have those desires or need those desires in the first place. because the feeling of wanting those desires resists the fact that it is already solidified. allow yourself to be the path of least resistance.
and when you are already in that state, you always have to choose to be in that state by decision. be aware of it so your mind is not all over the place.
if it is done, would you think about it all the time, or would you just appreciate that it already exists, that it is already done, and continue about your day, doing whatever you are doing, completely occupied, completely in the now?
#law of assumption#neville goddard#self concept#loa#loablr#affirm and persist#reality shifting#desired reality#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#shifting#consciousness#spiritual awakening#glow up#that girl#divine feminine#high value woman#self worth#adulting
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I learned how to be quiet about pain when I was very young. I learned how to fold in on myself like laundry, to take up less space in the cupboard. I learned how to keep the peace around me by sweeping the dirt under my own rug.
I have been taught that expressing my less favourable emotions is just complaining—something weak people do when they're too incompetent to solve their own problems.
Incompetent. Incompetent. This word is very important to me. Incompetent is the word I am always running from. To run from incompetency means to run from feeling dejected, feeling lost, feeling hurt. To run from incompetency is to run towards goodness. To run towards a me who knows all the answers and shoulders all the burdens and shrugs off all the pain.
Some days I am not very good at this race I am running. Days when the past lurches forward to bite my ankles, or days when the future looks back to scorn my present.
On these days I am weak. The poise slips. It's all too easy to cry a little and vent my fears. I forget that I am supposed to be keeping all of this shut away where no one else can see. I forget that I am not supposed to be dragged down by these feelings in the first place.
Today I feigned nonchalance and I feigned it well. No one noticed that I was hurt by the thing that happened, and sitting alone in all my hurt, I was bitterly gratified. I had fulfilled the proper narrative of an animal who is injured and returns to its cave to lick its wounds only in private.
But there is a desperation for the hidden pain to be noticed. This is the Achilles' Heel of the whole stealth operation; it threatens the little play I have constructed in which I suffer alone and inconvenience no one and am all the stronger for it.
Today I stood upright to talk to my mother and doubled over in pain the moment she left the room. It is satisfying, knowing I did the valiant and honourable thing of keeping the damn pain to myself. It is infuriating, the way my eyes flickered to the door in the dark and private hope that she would come back in and witness me while I was down.
I want to be strong and hide all the hard things away. I want someone to see my efforts to hide all the hard things away and realise I'm strong. I want to bring to life this character I have created who suffers without complaint and is loved when the truth is revealed. Who suffers well.
This is the person who stores up agony to a breaking point, to justify the ultimate snapping of composure. This is the person who wants to be depended on relentlessly and one-sidedly, so that someone someday might notice the unfairness of it all. This is the person who virtuously and righteously take all the hits without a sound, so that when they finally, inevitably break, their pain will come to light all at once and inspire awe and guilt in equal measure.
Who am I, really? Is it terrible to want to play this character? Perhaps some old wound craves acknowledgement and understanding and doesn't know how else to ask for it except by hiding until it festers.
Strength. Competency. Resilience. Dependability. Independence. They have all become synonyms in my black and white dictionary. They have all become straws for the drowning man.
I self-impose silence. I take pleasure in denial and secrecy. I take pride in successfully keeping a problem to myself.
Pride. That's another important word. I think I have too much of it, although it pains me when others point it out. Pride implies I think highly of myself, which is something a good person should never do. Pride is so audaciously self-absorbed, so high-and-mighty, so filthy with ego. There's probably a lot of it in this damn thing I've written.
Pride is the other thing that keeps my mouth shut. The thing that says I should be austere, untouchable, immovable. Pride is the thing that says look here, you don't have a lot going for you so you better keep this mask on right if you want to be good. If you want to be admired.
These terrible things keep me safe. I can't let go of that stupidly noble character or that cowardly pride. I need them to shield me from the reality that I am emotional, not all that put together, and honestly hopeless most of the time.
I need to have something worth liking about myself. I need to have a grit that makes me undeniably good. I need to have a strength that goes unsung, that lies in wait of discovery.
What an exhausting way to live. But it's the only way I know.
#my writing#writing#prose#prose poetry#poetry#words#literature#art#my art#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#spilled poetry#spilled writing#spilled words#poem#vulnerability#pain#shame#strength#self portrait#vent#inspo#stream of consciousness#aesthetic#web weaving
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CSM 182 : snow or the power of forgetting
the snow, eaten by CSM recently, forgotten
the snow, the illusion that lulled Aki in his last moments
the snow, chapter 182, where you finally put the pieces together
what does snow mean ?
What if I told you that Denji's reaction to Yoru's ambivalence was the wrong one ?
I'm not talking from a moral point of view, but purely from a narrative one.
What does Yoru actually do by threatening and kissing him ?
It leads to ambivalence, to a striking contrast that is unbearable.
But life is nothing other than this same diluted contrast, this mixture of negative and positive constantly associated.
When Denji says he can't master these two facets, these dirty tricks and all the problems he has to face, that's precisely what has become his worry.
splitting himself, splitting his surroundings, seeing obstacles as ultimatums.
All this may seem off-the-wall and crazy, or like an analysis to justify Yoru's behaviour.
It isn't.
Don't see his kiss as a kiss, but as a narrative perch for Denji to finally face up to himself
Why ?
Dirty things are what he's always hoped for, they seemed in essence extremely positive, they were the way out of his misfortunes
For Denji, doing dirty things inevitably led to happiness.
Denji gradually realises, thanks to several female characters, that these dirty things are not all positive.
You might think that Denji really took his time to realise this...
But it's far from easy for him; for him, life was a deep unhappiness, always, with no prospect of happiness
Or rather, he couldn't see happiness
Because his conception of happiness was restricted to those dirty things
Pochita, Aki, Power, Nayuta, Denji realised his own unhappiness after their disappearance, he only realised the presence of happiness through his loss
Because he hadn't done anything dirty until now!
Until the end of part 1, Denji is trying to rethink his vision of happiness and is trying to break away from normality, to raise his standards higher: eating steak, 10 girlfriends.
Even though he has come close to happiness, Denji doesn't realise it, because since that happiness wasn't eternal, it wasn't happiness.
Happiness remains a way out for him.
Tasting his definition of happiness, being kissed by Yoru, makes him realise that happiness has lost its meaning.
With each kiss, Denji realises that it won't bring him happiness, because it doesn't make him happy.
Little by little, Denji tries to get closer to something for the long term, not the moment.
That's why, he asks if "Asa" loves him.
Can he finally taste that unchanging happiness? Never taste unhappiness again ?
Asa is his downside, her intrusive thoughts, her internal panics, her reflections are preventing her from living in the moment.
And she doesn't want to live in the moment, because she doesn't trust her instincts (when for Denji they are a way out).
Her instincts led her to save a cat, causing the sacrifice of her mother.
But it was Chainsaw Man who made her realise that life can be excruciatingly bitter and sometimes sweet.
Inhabited by Denji, who is as lost.
How could Denji say something as right as that crap burger if he's lost too ? Life is disgusting, it's tiring and yet we keep eating this burger, thinking of dogs, cats and ice cream.
Because Denji didn't do it.
It's Denji perfectly fused with Pochita.
CHAINSAW MAN.
A double being, symbolically realising the ambivalence of life.
Denji was Pochita's happiness, hence her sacrifice.
Pochita was Denji's happiness, hence his unhappiness.
The constant association of happiness with unhappiness - after all, that's all Denji and Pochita's meeting is about.
Except that at that moment, Denji had come to the wrong conclusion, talking about sex, hence the feeling of unease, and a sense of rupture in his speech. The hope of supreme happiness makes us eat this crap burger, it's true. But it won't make us happy.
What Yoru shows, even though he's part of Asa, is that the concept of happiness and unhappiness make no sense to a devil ; they instrumentalizes them, doesn't understand them.
So she gets hit by Asa because, damn it, this concept of happiness and unhappiness belongs to men.
So Asa takes over and says she hasn't recovered from her mother's death because this event will always seem so unacceptable and horrible to her. Bad things don't disappear.
What changes is the memories we want to bring to the fore.
Snow.
Symbolising Denji's supreme misfortune of having killed his brother to the point of vomiting with guilt.
Symbolically, it is this same vomiting that spits out the snow.
The snow is not just a trauma.
Aki was obsessed by the memory of the tragedy of his family, who were also killed in snowy weather.
And when Aki decides to visit his family's graves, to pay his respects tragically at his family's graves
He can't do it
Because two idiots divert his attention.
Forcing Aki to look away from the unhappiness of the past
To face the happiness right in front of him.
What Aki realised just before his death was that he had never seen happiness, or rather he had chosen not to.
Because happiness isn't there to be found, it's there, it's just there to be looked at, plunged in a pile of shit but it's sometimes there, but we refuse to consider that this thing is happiness, we can hope for more, can't we?
You have to eat this crappy hamburger, even if it means throwing up.
This is the taste of happiness.
Back to the snow
Which you associate with Denji's sadness and Aki's death
Yet this snow fight is Aki's last happiness
Seeing that snow again, associated with that fateful day when he lost his family
Holding that snow in his hands, and playing with his little brother, a little brother he has found again
What if this scene wasn't something he had to endure, but a choice? Aki's choice not to see, the gun held to his eyes, the choice to lull himself into one last sweet illusion, one last bandage, one last cigarette, to escape from this reality that he had always stubbornly tried to face, to escape from it.
But Denji is crying at this point.
Happiness cannot be total happiness, it melts, like snow.
Unhappiness will always be diametrically opposed.
The fact remains that snow is this temporary oblivion, this misfortune that we take in our hands to make snowballs, this moment of fun condemned to melt, snow determines what we do with our misfortune and our happiness.
Snow represents what we decide to see.
It is the forgetting, or rather the silencing of painful memories.
To realize that the snow is cold is to realize the end of happiness, because you're not playing anymore.
I don't like playing snowball: I don't like pretending to be happy anyway.
These memories will not disappear, but we can choose not to see them too much
The snow will remain cold, it will be condemned to melt, it is this moment, what we do with this moment.
Because if it didn't melt, no life would develop
If happiness and unhappiness were not this constant ambivalence, this intermingling of happy and painful moments, if this ephemeral aspect did not exist
Then no life would exist.
When Denji vomits snow, it's because he realises once again the association between happiness and unhappiness that snow represents.
Disgusted by this sad reality too, of not seeing unchanging happiness, of seeing life not as a burger, but as a shit burger.
But the snow is beautiful and it won't stay.
Like these two.
#csm 182#chainsaw man 182#chainsaw man#csm#csm part 2#csm spoilers#denji#asa mitaka#asa#yoru#pochita#aki hayakawa#power#power hayakawa#denji hayakawa#my thoughts
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Favorite Shots Per Episode ✩ 1.06 Skin (3/3)
cinematography analysis and queer reading under the cut
It's of course very obvious that the shapeshifter is functioning as a mirror to Dean, but I still find it fascinating how this is depicted in the cinematography. Because the director isn't using physical mirrors, despite them being such a popular trope in horror for showing the true self or the mental state or metamorphosis of a character. The only time where you sort of see one is in a foreshadowing shortly after the establishing shot with the side-view mirror (which I absolutely love):
But for the rest? Not really. I always wonder if interpret waaaay too much into certain frames, but I am kind of obsessed with how Dean and Becky are divided by the crime scene tape in this shot. Becky is the victim. Dean, well Dean? He's the monster. Kind of. I think a lot of the reflection in this episode happens through what Dean is not also, and he's are not living the lives of 'normal' people. I love how the directing of the episode shows early on that Dean does not belong to that part of society, just like the shapeshifter.
I mean I obviously am doing a queer reading of that (being queer myself), with the monstrous and othered bodies in media being those that are not conforming to various aspects of white cishet society. But I am going to say - the implication that there is a sort of inherent tragedy to Dean's life, not just a sense of not belonging because of his 'lifestyle' but also the fear of being monstrous enough to destroy other people's bodies and livelihoods? Ugh. It hurts, and it's sadly coming back in anti-queer narratives to this day. But yeah, as I said, Dean is portrayed in a way that is disconnecting him from the rest - also from Sam who is the link to this 'normal' life by knowing Becky and who has kept Dean from 'being himself' by pursuing his own dreams and conforming to the exact society that Dean is not belonging to, letting Dean behind in a position where he's neither free to be himself nor enough to be someone else -, and that is giving him a sameness to the shapeshifter.
Dean has to hide the queer part of himself, in a desperate attempt to be accepted, mirrored by the monster of the week: "So maybe this thing was born human but was different, hideous and hated...until he learned to become someone else."
I think that's why I am also obsessed with these shots. Because both the shapeshifter and the shapeshifter as Dean are getting one, revealing their true self underneath the mask that is this body, a body that is subjected to other people's ideas and is projected on and isn't their own. But also the eyes are mirrors? The body part described as the 'mirror to the soul'. It's a little cliché and on the nose, but I find it way cooler than just working with physical mirrors, you know?
And yeah, when it comes to reflections, of course, we cannot forget this scene:
Which is Dean seeing himself, but more so is actually Dean seeing how he is perceived by others. It's not a depiction of his actual self, it's a depiction of the concept of him. We know this, we know Dean is not the 'bad guy' that is televised nor is it an accurate portrayal of him. But I think that it serves to show the audience how media is a place that can shape ideas and construct norms, and it also serves as a way to remind Dean that this is how he will be reacted to if he dares to 'become' monstrous. If he dared to be like the shapeshifter, the outcast, and put his own being over his responsibility to conform. Despite his brother Sam being allowed the same egoism - but Sam's egoism is striving to conform, he's [email protected] you know, and Dean's egoism is striving to be free, to regain control over his body.
And then we have this shot.
Followed by this shot.
Dean 'killing' this reflection of himself, this part of himself in favor of serving and saving. He's a freak, but he's not just a freak like Sam in that he's currently living the hunter lifestyle and didn't really fit into Stanford. Because - well, he's different than Sam. Queer. He's isolated, alone, born hated like the shapeshifter if he ever lived his true self, yearning to be loved. The shapeshifter literally says it: "All he wants is for someone to love him. He’s like me. You know, everybody needs a little human touch now and then. It’s so hard to be different." I think this episode hits so hard for me because you can see Dean's self-hatred, especially in that last shot, Dean's internal struggles that he hides so well under his hero-esque facade. But also how he is ultimately a loving and caring person, putting everyone's happiness above himself.
I think despite this episode reading like being queer is an inherent tragedy at first glance, it walks a fine line in actually trying to convey quite the opposite. Dean is other, but the other isn't bad. Yes, he does good by suppressing himself, so does that mean he has to act according to others to be happy? I don't think that is what the episode is saying. I think it is more an example of Dean's 'monstrosity' being not the same as the shapeshifter's monstrosity in the end, that despite all the sameness they aren't one. That despite what society depicts him to be, evil and harmful to others, he isn't this mirror image projected onto him. He isn't what was shown on those televisions, or in a wider sense, the media. He isn't what is hunted down by the SWAT team, or in a wider sense, institutions in power. Dean's self IS good. Dean's self IS caring and loving, despite his fear to pursue his own dreams and be free, and it's not coming through his actions of suppressing those desires, but because he ultimately is neither those 'normal' people nor the shapeshifter, but his own truth. So yeah, while I think this episode definitely walks a dangerous path by having Dean continue to live this old life in the end, the cinematography in this episode also functions to reveal how - while horror is a love letter to the monstrous, represents counter-narratives and helps to deconstruct normativity (like in this episode!) - the monstrous is often instrumentalized to suppress and oppress and depict victims as an inherent danger to the established systems of oppression. Dean's true self isn't bad. People are just made to believe that it is.
#spn#supernatural#spn 1x06#dean winchester#spn screencaps#spn meta#spn screenshots#spn 1.06#skin#spn skin#dean#screencaps#screenshots#stills#val's favorite shots#meta
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i like how falin being a maiden to be saved, a reward to be coveted, isn't a point to criticize in dungeon meshi. because we have various other female characters who are written as having their own agency
we have marcille, of course, whose story can be observed since chapter 1. how she's not depicted as the "girl team member" but "part of the team". when you're writing a protagonist group where there's only one female character among the male cast, you can always feel this sense of alienation in the writing, like she doesn't belong in the group as the story focuses on the rest of the boys. the way masashi kishimoto writes team 7 is a major example
but marcille is still allowed to be a "typical girl" who doesn't want to eat gross things and enjoy feminine clothing without forgetting the fact that she's a multifaceted person. she's a researcher who isn't afraid to get dirty when it's something relevant to magic and her goal, even though she's also grossed out at the idea of feces being used as fertilizer for crops
and when falin comes back as a monster who can't speak, it's still not a point to criticize. oftentimes stories involving female characters losing their speech (or, well, becoming disabled in some way) is meant to make her vulnerable, a fragile 'something' to be protected. but this is not an argument about how chimera falin is super strong, because that's a shallow way of thinking that ignores the fact that being a Girlboss doesn't ensure your female character is written as a fully realized person. this is about the fact that almost right after that Izutsumi joins Laios' party.
She joins late in the game, so it'll be easy for her to only be tacked on as an afterthought. A notable example would be Okumura Haru from Persona 5, where her character gets overshadowed a lot by the other party members' more colorful personalities, as if the writer wasn't sure how to integrate her into the already developed dynamic.
there's also how she's written as a sweet and shy girl yet the way her school uniform is designed betrays that image. it's heavily customized even compared to the trendy girl like ann which means it's impossible for her outfit to not go against school regulation. not something an obedient girl would have done. which makes me wonder if they couldn't decide on her writing until last minute.
but Izutsumi is different. her involvement and her own personal story arc eventually intertwines to the overarching plot. she hates having her options limited. she hates having responsibilities to uphold. she hates eating veggies! she hates that people expects her to do things their way! she wants freedom to do whatever she wants!
but in the end she learns that to have the freedom to choose, she has to uphold her responsibilities. starting from the simple things like taking care of her health by eating balanced meals, not just the ones she enjoy. she has to do work to get enough money for her food and travels. and she has to learn how society works so she can live independently. she has to learn which desire she has to prioritize that she can balance out with her responsibility as a living being.
her own self-realization culminates into her giving advice to laios that leads to him steeling his resolves to become king.
so you have Falin, who gets turned into a monster that cant communicate her desire and needs while under the mad sorcerer's control, and in exchange you get Izutsumi, the 'beastman' who knows exactly what she wants and throws a tantrum about it without shame, not understanding that what you want isn't always what you need. i think it's a really cool parallel!
this is a prime example of how tropes that get associated with misogynistic writing can be used as a proper tool that serves a narrative when you have more than multiple female characters having their own character arcs
in fact, you can apply this to pretty much every other things. when you're writing gay characters, having only one of them and they act camp can make people raise an eyebrow at whether this is meant to be a caricature of gay people or not. having two of them and one acts camp and one acts normie can be read as a bias against gay people expressing themselves. writing multiple gay characters, all with different personalities and desires will avoid accidental stereotyping.
even the minor female characters, be it the canaries or namari, help show that the way the narrative treats Falin isn't born from thinking that women are an alien breed compared to men. that her lack of agency means something for the themes involved.
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The American Dream explored through Schneider (spoilers mainly for Chapters One and Two)
Back again with Great Gatsby parallels with Reverse 1999, this analysis is inspired by the parallels seen in Chapter Six between characters like Isolda, Kakania and Marcus to the characters in Tosca; as well as how the nature of tragic plays are explored in said chapter.
Anyways here is a exploration of Schneider through the lens of the "American Dream" because while I love oranges I kinda wanna explore Schneider as a character more outside of the romantic angle (thats still here ofc but more on her motivations and development) .
What is the American Dream?
(Im not American, just someone who/ studied the Great Gatsby)
In short this is the idea that in the "New World"/ America, anyone can do anything as long as you worked hard for it - Gatsby embodies this idealism.
This idealism is notably disillusioned by the end of the 1920s known as the Jazz Age - a period known for Hedonism, Prohibition and the belief that society had become less moral. The Great Gatsby and Tender is the Night by Scot Fitzgerald is born from this pessimism of the 1920s.
So how does this relate to Schneider?
Schneider
Putting aside her flirtatious manner and being a literal mafia boss, she is a character that was forced to grow up very fast and provide for her family at a very young age of 11. The male voice hammers home how Schneider had taken on the mantle of the breadwinner for the Greco family and how she will go to every length to help and care for them, such as turning to the Foundation and the Manus.
Now cue the oranges
The American Dream and the nature of it being a myth is expressed in the storybook scene between Vertin and Baby Schneider, specially when they share that final big orange. Im pretty sure this scene the game sets to auto as baby Schneider talks about the New World and how the "God loves the world there" intercut with Schneider suffering and pleading - just like Vertin's illusion that idealised is not real.
Baby Schneider talking about the New World with so much hope and joy being cut by the older Schneider, now jaded by the rejection of the Foundation and now the Manus reinforcing the pessimism of the 1920s that concludes with the 1929 Wall St Crash.
The American Dream is a myth, it has always been: Schneider was denied salvation on the basis that she was human, denied by the Foundation, denied by the Manus once they found out her lie and is finally taken by the Storm because she could not be on the Ark/ the suitcase would not protect her.
(I wonder when Schneider realised no matter the outcome she would be reversed alongside her family, maybe the moment she told her mother to starting moving once she realised Forget Me Not was not going to hold the end of his bargain.
I mean like everyone I would of liked a playable Schneider or even more on her as a character than the crumbs we got. But I think it is more fascinating how we Don't. Know. Schneider. At. All. Purposefully we are left wondering who she is as a person with only less than 24 hours of knowing her.
We don't even know her actual name but shes left enough of an impression to
One - Trigger Vertin's deep sated trauma of the Breakaway Incident/ giving false hope of salvation for to fail
Two - Create a fandom wide trauma for oranges and haunt the narrative that we actively call a depressing moment oranges
Less than 24 hours Schneider gave us enough to never forget her.
#reverse 1999#ramblings#vertin#schneider#the great gatsby#oranges#i like how bluepoch makes character who just perpetuately haunt the narrative#i love different streamers reactions
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Voting in the United States is unintuitive, often undemocratic, and painful. The natural emotional reaction with being asked to support vile people at the ballot box is disgust and avoidance. For leftists it doesn't help either when dominant narratives about voting put it on a pedestal as something patriotic system-serving citizens do.
But voting doesn't have to mean declaring personal support or belief in anyone, and there is a lot more to vote on than the presidency. Still, there's no bubble to fill in that says "Gay luxury space communism immediately!" so what do we do with the ballot?
There are two kinds of things you might get to vote on. Representatives and Propositions(or Measures). Representatives are those politicians the news is always abuzz about. Propositions are US America's cute attempt at direct democracy and can be a breath of fresh air to vote on when they're not trying to con you. Most are "citizen-initiated" so this is where you'll find most non centrist political actions. As I understand it 24 states do not have citizen-initiated propositions and of them some don't seem to have propositions at all. If you live in one of those I'm sorry.
Your mental energy should be prioritized in this order.
Propositions -> Local Representatives -> State Representatives -> Federal Representatives -> Presidency
UNLESS you live in a swing state, the list of which can vary depending on the election. In that case you'll have to think about the presidency first. I'm sorry. The electoral college is stupid.
I live in California, so we'll be going through part of the 2024 California ballot. Before we get into this know there is nothing wrong with using a voting guide that just tells you what to vote for. That is, only if the guide is good, which is uncommon. Most guides are either horrible or don't cover everything on the ballot. Before using a voting guide check who is funding it. If it has any holes consider researching those propositions or elected positions yourself.
California has 11 propositions on the ballot. I'm only going to go over one in detail, but I do want to bring up some more straightforward ones to illustrate a point
Prop 3 enshrines gay marriage in the California constitution Prop 6 bans forced prison labor in the state Prop 32 raises the minimum wage to $18 Prop 33 allows local governments to enact stronger rent control
Propositions like these, if they are available, leave decent leftists no excuse not to vote. No matter how much you detest the presidential candidates, no matter how revolutionary you aspire to be, no matter how much you hate American "democracy" propositions like these can have immense positive impacts on people's lives when they pass. You cannot allow yourself to be thoroughly terrified of the ballot box when these exist. And on the other hand
Prop 36 makes drug possession a felony and makes theft under $950 a felony after multiple violations
You cannot just do nothing and let something that monstrous pass. And it fucking might! And all that good stuff might not! There are more than twice as many millions of dollars in advertisements pushing prop 36 than against it right now. Forget the presidency for a moment, if you live in California, you get to decide if literal slavery is allowed in prisons or not.
As for representatives I'm not going to say exactly what city I live in, but I can say there are multiple elected positions that aren't even divided along party lines. There are also multiple state, district, and county representatives that aren't just horrible people. Many of them backed by unions rather than corporate money.
There's also sneaky shit on the ballot. I mentioned earlier propositions made to con you. This season's example is Prop 34 which, "requires certain healthcare providers to spend 98% of the revenues from the federal discount prescription drug program on direct patient care." Sounds maybe like a neat healthcare bill, but it says "certain" and that's a tricky word on the ballot. In this case Prop 34 specifies it only applies to healthcare providers that own housing. Only one healthcare provider in California does that, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. A non profit that has put its weight behind affordable housing including support for Prop 33.
Without people doing the research on things like Prop 34, bills like this can easily pass and enable all sorts of chicanery.
So go vote! Do some research and make some changes to the world! Don't let it be the only thing you do either. Voting only happens every two years. Contact your local political groups and volunteer your time or even just listen. Talk to your friends about what you're doing. Exercise your political muscles! Exercise your organizational muscles! Solidarity can be hard, but we have to be up for it. Your leftism has to affect the world around you or it will rot in the prison that is your skull.
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Petals of Affection - Part I
A floral mystery in three parts featuring Jackson!Joel x f!reader
Summary: A secret admirer gifts you a different flower and a riddle ten times before you put the clues together and discover that he's been right in front of your face the whole time.
Written for @morallyinept's Flora & Fauna challenge. Please check out all the wonderful works created in Jett's honor!
I know enough about flowers to fill a thimble. Really, all I know is how to kill them, accidentally or otherwise. Everything to do with the flowers in this story is courtesy of Google, so please suspend disbelief at how some of these could exist in Wyoming, yada yada. I just picked ones that fit the narrative.
Word count: 4,284
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, humor, cursing, gratuitous use of poor floral descriptions, scheming, clueless reader, fluff, eventual smut, alcohol, food, coffee, terms of endearment. POV flops around like a fish outta water. Reader has no physical description aside from having hair that gets frizzy with humidity and often dirt-covered hands, because greenhouses, ya know? No use of y/n, none whatsoever.
Dividers courtesy of the wonderful @saradika-graphics. Gif chosen because of the wonderful floral wallpaper ;)
Hope you enjoy!
Part II | Part III | Masterlist
An oasis in a world rife with death and devastation, you clung to the life the reinforced walls of Jackson offered. After years of struggling to survive each new day, you felt like you could finally take a deep breath. Everyone was no nice and welcoming, some more than others, and you slipped right into the fabric of the small community.
Within a month of your arrival, Maria assigned you to the greenhouses, having picked up on your knowledge and love of plants – particularly flowers. You must have bored her to death one too many times regaling the language of flowers over a bottle or two of aged wine while seated together on her couch. The two of you became fast friends, the kind that felt like you’ve known each other forever. It was exactly what you needed, longed for even, after long bouts of solitude.
Being close to Maria meant you visited their house often. And equally often, you would find Joel Miller there, deep in conversation with his brother about one matter or another. His eyes always flashed when you entered the house, and he’d stop mid-sentence to greet you with an effortless, “Howdy darlin’” as you followed Maria to the kitchen.
Soon enough, the soft greetings turned into more substantial conversation as the four of you dined together or gathered at Maria and Tommy’s for game night, playing whatever new board game the men found while on patrol. Laughter and friendly arguments filled the air on those nights, making it easier than ever to forget about the carnage and desolation beyond the walls.
Tonight, the four of you played Scrabble – it took Tommy finding three sets of the game to get all the letter tiles required to actually play – and your belly hurt from how hard you laughed whenever Maria challenged Joel on a word. He was better at the game than you would have thought – his reserved nature and southern twang not giving away how well-read he was.
“Denied! Fartlek is not a word, Joel. There’s no way!” Maria insisted, not willing to give into Joel’s apparent triple word score on the word that would have him take the lead in total score.
“Is to a word,” Joel returned stubbornly, refusing to remove the letters from the board. “Look it up if ya don’t believe me. It’s in the fuckin’ Oxford dictionary.”
“Oh, it is, is it? Is it in the Cambridge one, too? What does it mean then?” Maria wasn’t backing down, ripping a battered dictionary right out of Tommy’s hands to see for herself.
“Hey! I was looking it up,” Tommy yelped, shooting a wink at you as you both watched the drama unfold.
Ignoring his brother, Joel rattled off something about the word being related to running. At least, that’s what you thought he said, you were too busy fighting back tears from laughing too hard. Sure enough, he was right.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Maria grumbled, flopping back into the couch cushions. “It’s a training technique for running. Screw you, Miller.”
Unsurprisingly, the game ended shortly thereafter with Joel the victor by a healthy margin. After helping to clean up, you offered appreciation and hugs to Maria and Tommy for a delightful evening. “Next time, let’s play something less…”
“Cerebral?” Maria supplied with a frown.
“Annoying?” Tommy interjected with a grin.
Joel stayed quiet, a half-smile gracing his lips as he waited for you to finish your sentence.
“Just something that doesn’t require a dictionary or cause so much arguing,” you laughed. Waving between Joel and Maria, you added, “You two can never agree on anything! See you all tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you home, darlin’,” Joel said, rushing to put his jacket and boots on and catch up with you. When you opened your mouth to let him know you’d be fine on your own, he added, “Gotta check in on Ellie anyway.”
Maria and Tommy shared a look as Joel opened the door to usher you through. You caught them and frowned, feeling like you weren’t in on a joke or something.
The two of you walked in comfortable silence, the last remnants of winter’s snowy wrath crunching beneath your boots the only sound. You looked up at the night sky as you walked, gasping at the flash of colors in the otherwise darkened sky. Joel stopped, following your gaze upwards as you both stood mouths agape.
“That’s the northern lights, right? I’ve never seen it before.”
“Mmhmm. Aurora borealis. Pretty amazin’.”
“Beautiful,” you sighed, breath a cloud billowing in the crisp air, eyes soaking in every bit of the cosmic phenomenon.
You didn’t realize it staring up at the sky as you were, but Joel’s umber eyes were fixed on you when he replied, “Sure is.”
You stayed like, shoulders gently bumping as you both enjoyed nature’s show, until the temperature dropped further and you shivered. An awed smile remained plastered on your face the rest of the walk to your house, one Joel would never forget.
The dichotomy of the humid, warm air within the greenhouses and the chilled breeze outside confused your body, but you loved it. Sure, the humidity did nothing good for your hair, leaving it a frizzy mass around your head sometimes, but the dewy feeling on your skin always reminded you of childhood summers spent at the beach.
Tending to the various fruit and vegetable plants all morning, in what you deemed Greenhouse 1, you saved your favorite duties – the ones associated with flowers – for the afternoon. While you enjoyed caring for all the plants, you loved tending to the flowers, humming as you pruned and replanted clippings, expanding your every growing collection. If the patrol teams kept bringing you seeds and specimen back, you’d need yet another greenhouse. The council would just love that.
The creak of the door to Greenhouse Two drew your attention shortly after you switched gears and you stood, brushing the dirt from your jeans before glancing up. Your face shifted into a soft smile at the sight of Joel standing hesitantly just inside the door.
“Hey Joel, what did you bring me today?” You knew he had patrol duty and likely found some interesting plant during his travels. “Better not be western baneberry again. You know how poisonous those berries are!”
Stepping forward, Joel chuckled as you teased him. “I know now! It was one time and you’ll never let me live it down, will ya?” Thrusting his hand toward you, he dropped a small pile of seeds onto your dirt-covered palm. “Not sure what these are, but we found down by the ol’ mill. Might be something cool.”
“Might be,” you hummed, poking the seeds a little. Hopefully the cold didn’t get to them. You grabbed the nearest pot, quickly filled it with soil and sprinkled the seeds in as you tilled the top few inches. “We’ll find out soon enough what kind of treasure these are.”
Leaning back against a messy tabletop, hands on hips, Joel watched you tend to the new addition before finding the perfect place for the pot, nestled on a table amongst other seedlings. “Do you –”
Joel’s mouth snapped shut as the greenhouse door banged open next to him, a boisterous voice carrying into the warm space before its body did.
“Tangerine! Check out what I found today,” Alex, another member of the patrol team, called as he strolled right past Joel without acknowledgement. Younger and not as broad as Joel, the man held a growing affection for you, which irked the older man.
“Alex,” you sighed playfully. He was cute in a youthful, untrained puppy kind of way and had an annoying habit of calling you nicknames that made no sense. “I told you to stop calling me that. We don’t even have tangerines here.”
Snickering under his breath, Joel observed the younger man falling all over himself to impress you. Why you indulged the idiot, he would never understand.
Alex waved you off. “You love it, and you know it. Lookit here,” he said, thrusting his hand toward you. Slight though he was, Alex had large hands, and in his right one were three clusters of small, bell-shaped blooms with a purple hue.
“Prairie bluebell! Where did you find these?” Your face lit up as you took the blooms in a gentle grasp, admiring them for a moment before setting to work on replanting.
Alex prattled on boastfully about finding them just off a rocky path down near the river while Joel focused on watching you work. When Alex finally paused for breath, you chimed in with some flower lore.
“Did you know that bluebells are often called fairy flowers? It is said that the bluebells are rung to summon fairies to a meeting. But, since fairies aren’t always good, the flowers could be enchanted leaving anyone who wanders into a ring of bluebells lost in fairy woods.”
Joel snorted at the idea of Alex becoming lost in fairy woods, never to be found again. If only they could be so lucky, he thought. He knew there was more you could share about the symbolism of the delicate flowers, but it would be lost on someone like Alex.
Rolling his eyes, Joel was about to take his leave when Alex blurted, “Would you join me for dinner tonight? I heard they just got in some fresh venison.”
Absorbed in your work, you hardly heard him, and Alex repeated himself, a hint of annoyance in his tone. Joel froze, holding his breath in anticipation of your answer. Please say no, he thought. You could do so much better than this moron.
Brow furrowed, you stared at Alex, considering your response. “Like a date?”
The younger man nodded eagerly, a broad smile spreading across his lips. You glanced at Joel, not certain what you were hoping to see, and found him staring back, stone faced, arms crossed in front of his chest tightly. Giving you nothing to work with, your shoulders slumped, resigned. “Sure, I guess.”
Not the most enthusiastic answer, but you couldn’t remember the last time you went on a date and Alex was the only one asking.
You didn’t even realize Joel moved until the door closed heavily behind his retreating form.
The breeze carried a sense of change as you strolled home from your shift in the greenhouse. The weather was finally warming, ever so slightly, as Mother Nature loosened her grip on winter, letting spring slowly creep in.
Mixed emotions tumbled through your mind as your feet carried you through the streets of Jackson by muscle memory alone. Alex asking you to dinner caught you off guard – you had a feeling he was interested, but he never made any sort of bold move. The fact he finally did while Joel was standing right there threw you off balance.
Did you even like this guy?
Sure, Alex was attractive, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. But his personality made him seem more like a golden retriever, goofy and too eager to impress, than someone you could fall for. It made you wonder if there was any substance lurking under the surface.
In the absence of any other offers, did it even matter?
No, you guessed it really didn’t.
These thoughts carried you right to your front steps and you stopped, taken by the presence of something unusual waiting in front of your door.
A solitary stalk with a gorgeous jasmine bloom, a slip of paper wrapped around the stem held in place by nondescript string.
Picking it up, you held the flower to your nose, breathing in the rich, sensual aroma. The scent brightened your mood, and you slipped the scrap of paper from beneath the string. You whispered the words printed in a block scrawl you didn’t recognize.
Joyful moments shared; the answer lies in the air.
What did it mean?
Glancing around, you searched the street and neighboring homes for a sign of who might have left the flower and note for you. The only people in sight were your elderly neighbors, married couples, and the kids from a few houses down. None of them would have left you such a gift.
Who in the world left this for you?
Would Alex do something romantic like this? You doubted it, but what else did you have to go on?
Once inside, you trimmed the stem and put the flower in a container on the counter, placing the scrap of paper in front of it.
You gazed at the flower, mulling over the riddle before you. The note indicated that you’ve shared moments with whomever left the flower. Jasmine itself symbolized love and romance. You made friends with a lot of people since you came to town – too many shared experiences and moments to choose from.
Twenty minutes and too much thinking in circles, you were no closer to understanding the clues and teetering on the verge of being late for your date. You needed more data before hazarding any reasonable guesses.
“Why do you torture yourself like this?” Tommy questioned. Sitting at the bar watching his brother pining over you was not his idea of a fun Friday night. “You should just bite the bullet and ask her out already.”
Joel shook his head. He had no explanation for why he hadn’t made a move yet. For months now, he knew he liked you as more than friends, pined over you in silence, yet he never took the next step. Joel Miller was not a coward, but his fear of losing one of the few friends he had left in the world had him frozen in place, afraid to make any moves. He couldn’t take that chance. Finally putting words to the feelings roiling inside him, he told his brother as much.
“I get it, brother. I do,” Tommy replied, thumping Joel on the back in commiseration. “But can you really say you’re ok watchin’ her go on dates with asshats like Alex? ‘Cause that’s gonna keep happenin’ unless you do something about it. And I don’t mean killin’ the dude.”
Joel shook his head. Hunched over the bar, shooting surreptitious glances your way, he had to admit Tommy was right. He could think of few things worse than watching you go on a date with someone other than him, especially with dipshits like that guy.
“I ain’t killin’ anyone, but I do have a plan. Already put it in motion, in fact.” Picking at a scratch in the bar, Joel shifted his gaze from you to Tommy. “I might need your help with some of it. Maria’s too.”
“Oh yeah? Tell me all about this grand plan then.”
Unsurprisingly, the date was a dud.
Alex had the personality of a goldfish rather than a golden retriever, and the two of you had nothing in common. He also interrupted you mid-sentence no less than three times – once could be considered a mistake, but three times was an unforgiveable offense as far as you were concerned. You stopped making an effort about halfway through dinner and wished for a hole to open up beneath your seat and swallow you whole.
Worst of all, he acted like an entitled dickhead when you refused dessert, thanked him for the date, and let him know there wouldn’t be a second one. He’s lucky you didn’t knee him in the nuts before walking away from the table.
How unfortunate that dating sucked nearly as much now as it did before the fucking apocalypse. It was unfair, really. At what point did being a woman stop sucking?
Lamenting your lack of success in the relationship department, you trudged home. You wondered what Joel was up to – you caught a glimpse of him at the bar with Tommy earlier and he didn’t look happy, but you didn’t see him when you left. Part of you longed to visit him, maybe have a drink and sit on his porch gazing at the stars together like you’ve done before. But it was already late, and you didn’t want to bother him. Hell, he could have a woman over already, which would be mortifying if you interrupted. The thought sank unpleasantly in your mind until you got to your house and pushed it away.
A little gift waited for you on the porch, just like earlier. An orchid this time. Symbol of love, thoughtfulness, and charm. Your index finger traced the delicate petals with the gentlest touch as a smile slowly crept its way across your lips.
Another note was attached, and you plucked it from beneath the same kind of string, eyes devouring the words.
Overwhelmed by your grace, the answer hides in this place.
The flower wasn’t completely cold, so it had to have been left recently. Brow furrowed; you glanced around but there was no one in sight. You wracked your brain trying to figure out the identity of your secret admirer, but you were at a loss. Prior to dinner, you briefly thought Alex was the culprit, but now it was obvious he didn’t have a romantic bone in his lanky body.
You heart knew who it longed for it to be, but you refused to consider it. He didn’t want you that way, of that you were certain.
Giving the orchid the same treatment as the jasmine earlier, you tucked the stem into the same container and placed it on the coffee table so you could admire the blossoms while you fell asleep on the couch. After all, why bother with a big bed without someone to share it with?
Saturdays were your day off, but the sun shining through the curtains you forgot to close the night before ruined your plans of sleeping in. Grumbling at the unnecessary brightness, you stumbled into the kitchen desperate for coffee. The coffee tin felt light in your hand when you reached for it and, sure enough, you saw nothing but a tiny amount of powdery remains of coffee beans at the bottom.
God dammit. Barely eight o’clock in the morning and this day already had two strikes against it. It wasn’t looking good so far.
Not caring that you still wore the clothes from your date the night before, you quickly brushed your teeth and finger-combed your hair into submission before leaving the house. Pausing at the door for a moment, you debated whose house to go to. Joel always had coffee – it was his drug of choice – but Maria and Tommy were closer.
Not awake enough for decision-making, you let your feet carry you in whichever direction they wanted… which was exactly three feet onto the porch before they stopped. Another flower with a note sat waiting for you.
Your mood brightened considerably at the sight of the double-flowered, funnel-shaped Eustoma, petals a pale purple. The rose-like flowers weren’t native to Wyoming, but you got lucky months ago when someone found a seed packet. You were shocked the seeds were still viable. Did someone pluck it from the greenhouse? You gave away a few cuttings not that long ago, but unless they were replanted, there’s no way they’d last this long. It had to be from the greenhouse. Where the hell else would they get one?
The addiction-like need for coffee temporarily forgotten, you rubbed the Eustoma gently against your nose, confirming the lack of scent when you breathed in and wondered what the little note would say this time.
Endless thoughts of you, the answer is in the view.
Stepping back into the house, you added the flower with the others, mulling over the symbolism of the Eustoma. Whoever left it must be trying to tell you that they appreciate and admire you. But when you add it with the others, what did it all mean?
As good as you were with flowers, you were awful at solving mysteries. A detective you were not. Besides, it was still too early for this kind of puzzle.
The desire for coffee returned and you left the flower quandary behind as you made your way to Joel’s.
Joel didn’t expect to see you today, his day looking up when he opened the door to find you on his doorstep. His heart immediately sank when he noticed you wearing the same clothes from the night before, hair mussed.
“Your date must have gone well,” he said, eyes roving over your clothing, knowing his tone was less friendly than you were used to from him. “What are you doin’ here this early?”
You were clearly thrown off kilter by his remark, frowning as he stepped back to let you in.
“Wha—” you started to question him but shook your head. “I just came to see if you had any spare coffee. I ran out without realizing it.”
“Didn’t have any to offer Alex this morning? That’s a damn shame.” Joel felt the heat of your confused gaze on his back as you followed him into the kitchen.
“What are you talking about?” You sighed, staring at him with furrowed brows.
Avoiding your searching gaze, Joel poured a cup of coffee, adding the perfect amount of sugar you liked, and glowered at the cup as he handed it over. “You’re wearing the same clothes as last night. I assume you did the walk of shame this morning only to find you didn’t have any coffee.”
“It’s too early for your judgmental shit, Joel. You can be a real ass sometimes, you know that?” You turned to leave, mind trying to wrap itself around why this day was turning out so oddly. Mercury was in retrograde again, it had to be. You and Joel never spoke to each other like this. As you reached the door, not caring that you basically stole his coffee cup, you called over your shoulder, “And the date wasn’t even like that, for the record.”
“You’re welcome for the coffee,” Joel muttered as you let yourself out of his house.
“You didn’t have to be such a dick, you know.” Ellie appeared around the corner; arms crossed over her chest.
“I know. I couldn’t help it. The thought of her with that jackass just…” he sighed. “I got a little carried away, but it’s fine. The plan is still in play. Did you take care of what I asked you to?”
“You come up with some strange plans, old man. Yeah, I got it done.”
Fed up with the day and everyone in town before noon, you hid away in your house for the rest of the day. The interaction with Joel weighed on you the entire afternoon and well into the night. What was up with him? Were you being too sensitive, taking his comments personally?
If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was jealous you went on a date with Alex.
Unsurprisingly, you slept poorly and woke up groggy and unfocused Sunday morning. It was going to be a long day in the greenhouse if you didn’t find some coffee to power you up. Getting ready earlier than normal, you planned to stop at Maria and Tommy’s to see if they had coffee – there was no way you were going back to Joel’s after yesterday.
Opening the door to another brisk, early spring morning, the glint of sunlight on the porch drew your eyes to yet another flower waiting for you. Four in a row now, how long would this carry on for?
One of your favorites, you picked up the stalk with six lavender blossoms, violet in hue, and breathed in the fresh, light scent, savoring the sweet undertones. Fingers caressed the downy leaves, making you feel calmer, mellower, which was exactly what you needed.
You kept sniffing the floral scent as you read the accompanying note, finding it fitting.
Lost in your scent, the answer is present.
“Tell me you have a secret admirer!”
Startled, you gasped, gaze shooting to Maria as she approached your house, two mugs of coffee in hand. You face shifted into a smile at the sight.
“I’m… um, I guess. I’m not sure?” You shrugged accepting the mug Maria held out toward you. “Thanks for this, I ran out.”
“I heard,” she replied. “Joel’s on the hunt for more, don’t worry.”
“Of course he is,” you rolled your eyes.
“Soooo…” Maria gestured to the flowers and note in your hand, seeking an explanation. “I feel like there’s a story here.”
“There is, I just don’t know what it is yet,” you admitted. Inhaling the calming scent of the lavender once again, you added, “This is the fourth one I’ve received. Each one has its own riddle. Let me show you.”
Leading the way into your house – you still had an hour before your shift started – you showed Maria the flowers and each note that accompanied them. In small print, you added what each flower symbolized to the corresponding note and numbered them in the order you received them, hoping every little detail would help you sort out the puzzle.
Maria looked over everything, smiling softly at each note. “Whoever this mystery man is, he’s quite romantic.”
“Right?”
“What do today’s flowers mean?”
“In the context of the rest of the flowers so far, love and devotion,” you replied, heat warming your cheeks.
Maria whistled softly. “Someone is down bad for you, girl. Any ideas who it could be?”
Shrugging defeatedly, you admitted, “Not a clue. The one person I’d want it to be would never do something like this.”
Maria hid a smile behind her mug as she sipped her coffee. “How can you be sure?”
tbc
#jettsflora&faunachallenge#writing challenge#joel miller#joel miller x reader#the last of us#joel x female reader#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fandom#pedrostories
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i for once want to get the opinion of a "rational" jikooker who knows how to take a step back and take certain things for what they are and i wanna know your opinion or interpretation of jikook in chap2 and them not meeting and also that conversation they had in the car about that please.
And you thought I'm that rational person? Funny.
You know, there's something I always disliked about being in this fandom space. I mean, there's plenty of other things, don't get me wrong, but this one in particular really irks me. It's the need for approval, for confirmation of one's thoughts. There's a severe lack of independent thought. It might be hidden under apparent strong opinions, but when you look at how those opinions are spread to anon messaging to bloggers everyday, that's a sign that the complete opposite happens.
Jikook as a kpop ship always has to be questioned. At this point, I think it's part of its narrative as a ship. But what's curious (and stupid) is that the hardest line of questioning comes from the ones who consider themselves interested/curious. But make no mistake, this is not done for the sake of not becoming delusional and discard any rational thought. It happens because of the need for approval.
You sent me this ask because you hope for me to agree with your own thoughts about jikook and what that conversation in the car means. Not for them actually, but for you. And you're not the only person. A sure sign of fandom insanity is debating for over 2 weeks now a conversation that is not only heavily editated, it is mediated as well. It takes place in the context of a show for fans in which participants are two people who will never reveal everything about their lives. And on top of that, there's an intentional need to ignore that people can speak in hyperbole, that people can ommit or say one thing that actually means more or another that only the other person is capable of understanding the nuances of that.
Communication is complex. We do know that because we engage with it everyday. Except we forget all that the moment we have to talk about this specific ship. We forget a lot of things about human behavior, relationships, etc. It is an intentional act. So we start writing fanfictions. We start making relationship timelines. We start taking about temporary or definitive break ups of a ship that hasn't even been confirmed as a couple. At this point, shippers operate into this alternative universe sphere, canon adjacent but instead of doing it on ao3, they use their blogs and anon messages for that. But hey, fanfics on ao3 are a lot of the times the work of talented writers, while 500-1000 words essays on tumblr are simply a complete waste of time after the first paragraph.
Is this what you would consider a rational perspective? Or should I start writing down a timeline of all the times in which JM and JK have met in "Chapter 2" up until NY in July? (As if in reality their lives are actually separated that clearly, as if a break in band work completely defines their personal lives, jesus christ!). So, should I note down all the public events that they've been to? And to draw a conclusion from it to prove or disprove that the amount of times they've seen each other is reflective or not of what they said in the car when they left for their trip? Of course, we should ignore that there's an entire life outside of what we see.
And that's the thing, you know? We all supposedly agree that they actually share little of their lives with their fans, but practically? The fandom doesn't really give a shit. Because of the classic parasocial relationship we have developed that makes us believe we know everything there is to know.
What we are allowed to see and what we hear from whispers here and there should allow us to realize that no theory over a supposed relationship is better than the other. Believing they are just friends, that they have broken up, that they are fwb and so on is in no way more rational that believing they are together.
What does this mean? If none of us are wiser? It means we have a choice. Some are choosing to be losers or little bitches crying in anon asks about their "insecurities" over a ship. Some are choosing to look at this ship as a duo that includes two people who have really good chemistry and who match each other's freak.
I've always been in the latter category, I thought that was obvious and I've said it before. If one day Jimin makes a public statement that he's marrying the love of his life, a sweet girl that is also the mother of his 5 secret children, then so be it. And if one day, Jungkook shows up one day after he decided to run away and join a bike gang where he met his boyfriend, then so be it. If somehow that next day, a jikook clip would turn up on my tl in which Jimin is brushing his teeth while straddling Jungkook, my reaction would be "well, jikook fuck. Often". You know why? Because for me, the public life of stars and what they choose to share is entertainment. A travel show, a wlive, concerts, these are all forms of entertainment. I do not consume my entertainment by being a loser on the internet, pondering if my assessment over two people might be fucking is real or not or is approved by other people.
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How to Use Absurdist Humor
I will often excuse away the “worst” of Marinette’s behavior with a very dismissive, “It’s an obvious joke, so there’s no point taking this as a serious character beat. Let’s not waste our time here.”
While I stand by that statement, I can see why some people struggle with this approach. Miraculous has made the unfortunate choice to tie the humor to parts of the narrative that have actual meaning to the audience. This undercuts the power of the humor, making it hard for some people to separate the humor from the actual character beats, so let’s step back and look at a show that did this right to show what I mean.
That’s right, folks, it’s time for more gushing about Kim Possible!
For today’s case study, we'll start with episode 17 of season one: The Twin Factor. In this episode, Kim is stuck babysitting her little brothers while on a mission to stop her arch nemesis. You may be thinking that Kim's "flaw" in this episode is the fact that she brings two 10-year-olds on a dangerous mission.
You would be wrong.
This is the lead-in to Kim bringing the twins along:
Kim: Er, speaking of forgetting, I totally spaced on the baby-sitting. Mrs. Dr. Possible: Kimmy, you made a commitment. Kim: Two commitments, actually. I'm suppose to go on a mission today. Mr. Dr. Possible: You'll just have to take the boys. Kim: Mom, can you please tell Dad that's a bad idea? Mrs. Dr. Possible: Oh, Kimmy. I'm sure Jim and Tim would love to visit a secret lab with you.
This is how you do absurdist humor. Is this technically horrible parenting? Yes, but there is no way that anyone is taking this seriously. It’s just so over the top that anyone trying to criticize the Possible’s behavior comes across as completely missing the point.
The other important factor is that Kim’s parents are played as genuinely loving and supportive parents, just in a really absurd way. This is a very natural bit of loving family dialogue about a totally ridiculous version of a normal family conflict. None of these three characters show off flaws that we expect to see address here save for their complete lack of concern about Kim’s life-risking adventures.
If Kim’s parents were shown to be genuinely neglectful or if Kim’s adventures were played more seriously, then this humor wouldn’t work anywhere near as well as it does. It would still be an obvious joke, but it would stumble the landing if you knew that the episode would go on to see Jim and Tim die. (They don’t, btw. The absurdist humor carries on, I’m just giving an extreme example of a plot beat that would kill – or at least weaken – this humor.)
Another example of Kim Possible doing absurdist humor right comes from the next episode in season one: Animal Attraction. In this episode, Kim is up against Senior Senior Senior, an eccentric billionaire who pursues villainy as a hobby, leading to exchanges like this one between him and his son:
Jr.: Did we not leave Kim Possible on a conveyor belt to her doom? Sr.: Yes. A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire. Jr.: Why? Sr.: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it. Jr.: Why? Sr.: Tradition!
This episode has a lot of moments like this. Moments where Jr asks why they don't do the obvious, more easy/effective thing and his father blows him off because that's not how villains do things! It's totally illogical logic and it's great. I love it! Perfect example of absurdist villains and a great way to keep the show from getting too serious. The writers never wanted you to feel like Kim was in over her head.
If you look at these two examples and compare them to Miraculous, you'll notice a big difference. While Miraculous does occasionally pull off good absurdist humor, a lot of the absurdist humor is more questionable because it's tied to the show's central conflicts.
As an example, let's talk about Marinette's inability to confess to Adrien and all the nonsense tied to that. Her many failures and attempts to know him better are clearly jokes, but they have this serious edge because the show has not set up the love square as nothing more than a source of humor. This is our end game couple. The audience expects to see their romance developed. The longer the show goes on without doing that and the more absurd Marinette's attempts get, the less the comedy works.
Another good example is Lila's lies. There is a solid argument to be made that the writers are trying to be funny with Lila's extremely obvious lies, but it doesn't work because the lies are a source of serious conflict. Lila is working with the villain! She gets Marinette expelled! We want to see her outed! Every obvious lie she tells just grates on our nerves because this is not the time for jokes!
To be fair, you can use absurdist humor in more serious shows. Another of my personal favorites is The Good Place, which relies heavily on absurdist humor, but has a very serious and heartfelt overall plot. The humor works there because the show knew when to use the humor and when to be serious and also because The Good Place is not a formula show. It's a serialized show. One big story told in 20-minute chunks. This meant that the humor had more room to breath and could be more closely tied to serious conflicts. When every story has to stand alone and be finished in 20-minutes, that blending rarely ever works. You're trying to do too much.
Kim Possible's writers knew this, too. The two tie-in movies (Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time and So the Drama) are still comedies, but they both have far more serious tones because they had the time to do that. While the episodes run about 20 minutes, both movies run a little over and hour which meant they could be more serious than in a standard episode.
So why did I write all that up? Because I was watching Kim Possible and thinking about how much better the humor generally was and I suddenly realized how easy it would be to be confused by Miraculous' humor if you didn't have this kind of background. I've seen enough absurdist humor to identify it with ease and even I struggle with Miraculous at times. Like I'm still not sure if Lila's lies are supposed to be a joke or not.
If you're new to absurdist humor or struggle to interpret less overt humor? Then I can see how you'd take Miraculous way more seriously than the writers intended because a lot of the absurdist humor simply isn't absurd enough. That doesn't change the fact that it's humor and I'm still going to treat it as such, but I can see why it goes right over some people's heads and leads to complaints like, "Marinette has his schedule for the next three years!!!" That was a joke, but I get why you're missing it.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#kim possible#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#writing advice#This was mostly an excuse for me to appreciate how well written KP's humor was#But I figured we'd take a writing lesson angle with it since I get comments about this stuff from time and time#And I don't know what to say because I don't know how to respond if you are treating bad jokes as serious character flaws#Adrien and Marinette have real flaws too it's just that people are so overly focused on the bad jokes that I just *sigh*
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