#I also would love to write about the shape

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 27

Toji Fushiguro + Weight gain

Did you guys know I love big guys? I do, very much. They’ve been haunting my mind more than usual lately, like nymphs or incubi, and Toji putting on relationship weight makes me froth at the mouth. Im still very sick, but soft Toji has revived me for a moment.

I think this ended up being more fluff than smut, but oh well. Im still sick, and this is what I wanted to write. Readers a chef of some kind.

2024 kinktober masterlist

Toji Fushiguro had never imagined he’d ever be in a happy relationship after the death of his first wife, especially not to the degree where he didn’t feel the need to go out gambling or hustling for money.

Never in the past did Toji think he could lay back in his big fluffy white bed, with more pillows than he truly needed, but had just because he could for once, with an expensive high-quality duvet draped over his middle.

There was a soft scent of something cooking in the air, something sweet from the way Toji felt his tongue salivate. He only started drooling like an animal for few things, one was money, another was you, and the third was something you had pavloved into him. A love for food, and especially sweets.

Up until he met you, eating had simply been to refuel himself. A way to keep going, to keep fighting and stay in shape so he could keep killing, because what else did he have to live for if not to kill? It was just his love that his latest partner, and the one he wanted to stay with for the rest of his life, also knew how to cook, and seemed to have knack for keeping Toji nice and full.

Part of Toji suspected it came from the fact that he had told you about his past and childhood. How he had grown up starved and abused, living for no specific reason other than to give the rest of his clan someone to turn their ire towards.

Or maybe it was that fact that you had caught his eyes lingering on the cakes and cookie displays when you passed by bakeries, if only for a second. Or when Toji allowed himself to hum in satisfaction when he ate something you cooked, not because you just wanted to give him fuel, but because you loved him, and cooking was one of the ways you showed it.

Toji could hear you talking in the kitchen, your voice soft so as to not wake up, but loud enough for your phone to pick up. He could imagine it was laying on the counter as you chopped or kneaded something, the workers at your workplace calling you on your day off to ask questions they should already know the answer to.

A loud exhale left Toji’s lips as he finally pushed himself to sit up, groaning a bit as he swung his legs out over the side of your way too soft bed. Some days Toji still struggled with sleeping in it. It was too soft, too expensive, too… kind.

It was hard to explain, but you never demanded anything of him, or asked too many questions when Toji grabbed one of the towels from the hallway cupboard and slept on the floor instead of beside you. instead, you simply let one of your hands dangle over the side so that he could grab it, or so it would brush against him every now and then, just so he knew you were there and he wasn’t back where he grew up.

He yawned loudly, enough for his jaw to ache as he stretched. There wasn’t a need to work out just as much as he used too, to the point where Toji did nothing but work out, eat and sleep. Nowadays he actually got to enjoy things, even if those things were still similar to what he liked before.

But sitting at home watching horse racing on the tv was so much better than actually being there, mainly because you were there with him most of the time. And if you weren’t home, Toji still wandered around the city, this time taking out different curses that lingered, since he didn’t want them messing with you or your customer base.

As Toji rubbed a scarred hand through his eyes, he finally forced them open. That was another thing he still wasn’t fully used too. Being allowed to feel sleepy and sluggish, to wake up slowly and just take the day as it came to him.

His hair was getting too long, was the first thought through his head as his eyes landed on himself in the full-length mirror you had in your room. You kept it there for when you put on your uniform, but you two also used it for quite a lot of other things. Toji could almost feel the phantom shape of your fingers on his plush hips, or hear your voice mumble how pretty he was against the back of his ear, as you made him bounce in your lap and watch himself.

Feeling pretty was brand new too, and something still so foreign to Toji. He couldn’t see it, even as he stood in front of the mirror and ran a hand over his soft middle and sides. Sometimes Toji jokes about how you were fattening him up to eat him. It wasn’t anything over the top, but the layer of fat on his body made him seem brighter in a way, like the light that had never been there was put inside his eyes.

Hed been extremely insecure in his own way, when Toji realized he had gained somewhat of a double chin. He had immediately wanted to stop eating anything beside the bare minimum, and place himself back on his unhealthy workout schedule.

It took a longer conversation with you for him to calm down. It wasn’t just a conversation about the human body, and how he had been living wasn’t healthy and it was just his body trying to keep up, but also about his mental state. It was clear he had hated talking about anything vulnerable, but he had felt a little lighter afterwards.

He was still strong, as strong as always if not somehow more, now that his body had all that it needed. Plus, there were a lot of powerful guys out there with some pudge, it was just extra padding, you know?

Still though, it was hard to see what you meant when you said pretty. All the scars on his body put together a horrible patchwork, showing how difficult his life had been up until now. There were still signs of the unhealthy body he had carried all his life, and Toji had a feeling it would never fully go away.

But seeing that softness on himself? It made something new brew inside him. There was a saying that people cut their hair after traumatic periods of their life, something that had never worked on Toji since his life was chaos no matter what hairstyle he carried.

Seeing the physical manifestation of your love reflected back to him through the mirror made Toji feel warm and syrupy on the inside, like the sweet, melted sugar you poured over the top of some of your strawberry pastries.

It was thick, gooey, sweet and boiling hot to the point of danger. And yeah, maybe he did think his body was hot like this, sometimes. But that was mainly because of you and not himself, because he knew it was because you wanted to love him and care for him, and because Toji knew he trusted you enough to do so.

The boiling hot of the melted sugar feeling pooled in his gut, making Toji groan sleepily to himself as he got hard very easily. This was another thing he blamed on you. whod have thought that a life of abuse and mistreatment meant you became touch starved, and how should he have known he would grow sensitive and addicted to the feeling of your hands and lips.

With a huff, Toji shuffled into the pair of slippers you had bought for him when he first moved in. “the floor gets cold” you had said, as if Toji hadn’t sleep on ice cold bloody floors for years, and as if he was bothered by the cold floors at all. but he wore them, because Toji knew they were from you, and he knew you wanted him too.

The scent of your cooking grew stronger as Toji finally stepped out of your shared bedroom, his feet carrying him down the stairs and towards the large kitchen you were toiling away in. In the beginning, Toji hadn’t been completely sure how to act in the large home you lived in.

he had grown up in a giant home, but he wasn’t allowed to see it as such. And Toji had dated people before with mansions, but that had been to get money from them. With you he actually wanted to make an effort, surprising even himself.

But over time he grew comfortable, like one of those battle worn tomcats you brought in, with the giant puffy cheeks and barely any ears left. The ones that got so comfortable and purred like an old broken car. The way Toji would drape across your lap truly made him seem like one some days, which always had you cracking a joke even if Toji acted like he hated the nickname.

You had gotten so used to your partner moving around without any noise that you only gave a small jump as Toji leaned against your back, his scarred lips pressed against the side of your neck. “Morning handsome” you hum happily, leaning back against him since you couldn’t use your hands.

Toji just grumbled a bit, still sounding so sleepy and comfortable and he rolled his hips against your ass, just to show you what kind of day it was gonna be. A short smirk pulled at your lips as you made a questioning noise, rubbing back against him to see what he had planned.

But Toji didn’t have the energy or will to do anything extreme, he just wanted to lean his chubby torso against your back, as his soft but still so powerful and deadly arms curled around your waist, and his chin rested on your shoulder.

He snapped up the piece of fruit you held up to him like the hungry tomcat you always compared him too, the kind that always ate like it was its last meal even if it was fed multiple times a day. It always saddened you a bit to think about, but seeing him munch up anything you made with such gusto at least made you smile, knowing all your efforts were appreciated.

And you had a feeling Toji wouldn’t mind too much if you got his help to add a different glazing than you had planned to the fruit you had been cutting up. It was only you two that were gonna eat it anyways, right?

[mikashisus]

WALTZ INTO THE HEART

SYNOPSIS: fate seems to keep bringing fontaine’s most famed magician into your life, even when you swore you’d never fall in love again. but when you see how he handles your daughter and how her eyes light up with joy whenever he’s around, you cave and allow him into your heart.

PAIRING: lyney x single mother!reader

TAGLIST ! @pixelcafe-network @wystiix

warnings: mentions of teen (19) pregnancy, hurt/comfort, family issues, mc has a mom bod, suggestive comments

wc: 6k

notes: feeding the lyney enjoyers (yona). i started this literal months ago and im so glad it’s finally finished and out of the way. i had sm fun writing the last few scenes! anyw i hope u guys enjoy!

As a performer on the streets of Fontaine, Lyney was more than familiar with the fact that his tricks were more popular with young children. 

Their eyes would light up in childlike awe as they watched him closely, trying to find a flaw in his tricks that they could call him out on while simultaneously wondering how the trick was even performed in the first place. 

He was no stranger to their yells, begging him to do it again so they could watch his every little movement and find that flaw. But Lyney was perfect at hiding the secrets behind his magic. Years of practice led him up to this moment. 

He was also no stranger to kids who had run off from their parents to look for him. Many, many times children have come up to him and asked him to do a trick for them, their parents arriving about ten minutes later, out of breath and a frown on their lips as they berated their children for suddenly running off. 

Today was no different. 

He stood in the center plaza of the city, underneath the hydro-powered machine that made an eerie whirring noise if you stood too close. 

He ended his last trick of the night by telling a small boy to touch the back of his ear. The boy did so, flipping it over to show the contents: an ace of spades. 

“Is that your card?” Lyney questioned with a smile, watching as the boy’s face lit up with joy. 

“Wow!!” The kid exclaimed excitedly. “It is! How’d you do that, Mr. Lyney!?” 

Lyney took the card from the boy’s hands and tossed it into his hat before placing his hat back onto his head. The hat rocked side to side vigorously as a star shaped eye of a grinmalkin cat peeked out from underneath. 

“Shoo!” 

Lyney gently brushed the cat away. In a flurry of confetti, the cat disappeared back under the hat, letting out a tiny purr that sounded like a rebuttal. With a sigh, Lyney shook his head. The kids that were gathered around him laughed at the interaction. 

He opened his eyes and knelt down so that he was eye level with all of them. He winked and placed a finger over his lips. “A magician never reveals their secrets! After all, it’s not really magic if you know how it’s done!” 

Disappointed “aww”s fell from the children’s mouths, though they weren’t seriously saddened. They perked up at the sounds of their parents’ voices, rushing over to them and grabbing their hands as they recited the events of the mini magic show. 

A fond smile graced Lyney’s lips as he waved goodbye to the children and their parents. This was what he loved most about his job: bringing smiles to everyone’s faces. 

“There you are, brother.” 

The soft voice of his sister ripped him from his thoughts. She walked up to him slowly, tiredness reflecting in her purple eyes as she sent him a small smile. “Should we get dinner?” 

Lyney shook his head. “I think Freminet is cooking seafood soup tonight, so we should wait until we get back to the House. Besides, Father is coming home tonight. We should be there to welcome her home.” 

A frown erupted onto Lynette’s face at the mention of waiting. A complaint was ready on her lips, when a small voice called out to Lyney from ten feet away. He abruptly turned, watching as a little girl wearing a sky blue dress ran towards him with a beaming smile on her face. 

“Mr. Lyney!” 

He replaced his frown with a polite smile and knelt down, placing an arm on his knee. “Well hello there! What can I do for you?” 

The girl suddenly grew nervous. She shyly played with the ends of her dress, averting her gaze to the ground as she muttered out a response. “I was watching your magic show, but I was too scared to come closer…” 

Lyney raised a brow in concern. “Oh? Why is that?” 

“B-Because there were tons of people!” 

In reality, there had only been about eight kids and five adults, but kids were known to greatly exaggerate situations. He gave her a kind smile as she anxiously looked up at him once more. He placed a hand on her head. 

“I understand what it’s like to be nervous in a crowd of strangers. In fact, I have stage fright.” 

“He does.” Lynette confirmed, a small smirk pulling at her lips as Lyney sent her a fleeting glare. 

The little girl’s eyes widened in shock. “You do?” 

With a nod, Lyney hummed. “Yep, I do. Sometimes I have to perform in front of crowds ten times bigger than the one you saw. It can be scary, but with my sister by my side, all that fear goes away.” 

“Really?” With another nod, Lyney hummed. The little girl’s eyes flickered to Lynette, before they rested on the ground again. “But I don’t have a sister…” 

“That’s alright. There are other ways you can counteract your anxiety. Like… Oh! You can try talking to the other kids. I’m sure they’d love to be friends with you!” 

The little girl bit her lip nervously. She sure was shy. It was silent for a few moments. Lyney opened his mouth to speak, when the girl suddenly grabbed onto his hand. “Can you—” 

“Lilia!” A feminine voice called, attracting the attention of the young girl standing in front of Lyney. 

You were completely out of breath as you came to a stop in front of the two magicians. Immediately, you focused your attention on your five year old daughter, who had run off on you a half hour ago. 

“Lilia, I was looking everywhere for you!” The concern in your tone and your expression made the weight of your scolding feel extremely light. “If you go running off on me again like that, young lady, you won’t be able to go to that magic show I got us tickets to.” 

“But mommy!” She whined, tugging on the sleeves of your blouse. 

You looked up from her to turn to the two magicians who were watching the scene with amused looks in their eyes. You stood up and apologized. “I’m sorry, Mr. Lyney, Ms. Lynette. I hope she wasn’t too much of a hassle. She has a lot of energy.” You couldn’t hide your smile as you looked down at your daughter. 

There was no way you could stay mad at her for long. Though, you were serious when you said you wouldn’t let her go to that magic show if she kept disobeying you. 

You gently ran your fingers through your daughter’s hair as Lyney smiled. “It was no trouble at all!” 

He took off his hat. “I believe I left something in here,” he muttered, his nose scrunching up as his hand rummaged around in his hat. His face lit up a moment later. “Aha! Got it!” 

With a flourish, and a sudden burst of confetti, he pulled a beautiful bouquet of rainbow roses out of his hat and bowed as he held it out towards you. 

“Rainbow roses as beautiful as the lady standing before my very eyes. How enchanting you are, ma cherie.” 

The sudden gesture was extremely flattering. You haven’t been openly hit on in quite a while. It had nothing to do with your looks or your age, but rather, the fact that you had a daughter. You were still young— twenty-four —so it was quite the shocker when you mentioned to other people that you had a daughter. 

Not many were willing to date someone who already had a child. It was hard to find someone who was, which eventually made you give up. You came to terms with being single, and told yourself it was better that way— that your household was better with just you and your little carbon copy. 

Lyney’s eyes were expressive and sly. Underneath his charm, there was a clear nervousness. He fidgeted in his spot, waiting with bated breath to see if you’d really take the bouquet from his hands.

A new, panicked thought ran through his head. You had a daughter… Did that mean you were married too!? 

Uh oh, he thought, swallowing the lump in his throat, did I overstep? 

He breathed a long silent sigh of relief when you took the bouquet, your fingers brushing over his gloved ones. The smile on your face was one of pure happiness, albeit a bit bashful. Eagerly, you brought the roses up to your nose. They were fresh, as if they had been picked just that day. 

“Thank you,” you said wholeheartedly, “these are gorgeous. We’ll put them in our windowsill for the whole neighborhood to see. Right, Lilia?” 

You sent your daughter a smile, to which she returned with a big one of her own.

A week later, you were attending Lyney’s magic show with your daughter and your best friend, Erika. The show ran smoothly and was absolutely flawless. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of them for one second. Even after the show, you sat in awe, wondering just how in the world those tricks were performed. 

Erika stood up from her seat, stretching her arms above her head. She sighed in relief as she lowered her arms back to her sides and grabbed her purse. 

“That show was amazing! I think my favorite was that last trick with the knives…” she rambled, “Shit, I have to go to the bathroom. Do you guys need to go?”

You sent her a small glare. You told her countless times not to use curse words in front of your daughter, yet she kept forgetting. Thanks to her, your daughter would blurt them out at random moments, causing you to scold her. Erika would apologize profusely every time it happened when she was present. 

Shaking your head, you turned to Lilia. “Do you need to go, sweetie?” 

She nodded, already searching for your hand. Erika picked her up with ease. “I can take her, since you don’t have to go. Just wait for us by the Fountain of Lucine. We shouldn’t be long, right Lily?” 

Erika was great with kids. On days that you needed a babysitter, she jumped at the opportunity. She was fun, loving, and an overall joy to be around. She lit up every room she entered, and she knew how to handle your rascal of a daughter. You were more than thankful for not only her help, but her friendship. 

The two of you have been friends ever since you were children. She was the lively, extroverted class clown that loved to be friends with everyone, while you were the quiet, shy kid that preferred to keep to herself in the back of the classroom. The two of you were polar opposites, yet as soon as she laid her eyes on you and asked to be friends, you were inseparable. 

Years later, nothing changed. The two of you were still the same as you once were. In a way, that felt comforting. 

She bid you a quick goodbye as she raced off to the bathrooms with Lilia in her arms. You slung your purse over your shoulder and began to head towards the exit, running your fingers over the playbill in your hand. You would put this one right next to all the others you had on your bedroom wall. 

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice someone walking towards you. It wasn’t until you heard their voice that you looked up. 

“Looks like fate wishes for us to meet again, ma cherie!” 

You couldn’t help the wide smile that pulled at your lips. “Mr. Lyney! Your show was magnificent!” 

Not expecting such high praise, the man laughed softly, his cheeks a rosy red. “T-Thank you!” 

He didn’t know what else to say. Usually, he was adept at making conversation. He had no problem charming his way into the hearts of others, yet whenever he saw you, his words seemed to fail him. 

He cleared his throat. “May I walk you out?” He offered up his arm, which you took almost instantly. 

Your smile never wavered as you linked your arm with his. “Lilia loves magic,” you began, admiring the architecture and decor in the opera house, “she always tells me how she wants to be a magician someday too… or a mage in a mountainside cottage with a cat familiar.” 

Lyney listened closely, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “Sounds imaginative.” 

“It is,” you agreed, “I’ve always nurtured that imagination of hers, and I’ll continue to do so. Children need to be creative and have lots of imagination. That’s something my own mother could not understand.” 

“I want her to know that it’s okay to be more into fantasy things like becoming a mage and living in a cottage, because I know it’s possible. If she sets her heart on that, then she’ll achieve it. I have full faith in her.” 

“You’re a good mother.” Lyney said after a few moments of silence; and he meant it. Another round of silence passed between you as he gathered the courage to ask the question that’s been on his mind ever since he met you a week ago. 

“Is her father in the picture?” He looked down at your left hand, only to see no ring in sight.

You shook your head with a frown. “No. He never was. He didn’t even know about her. We broke up before I found out I was pregnant. But it’s alright, because she has me, and she has her aunt, and that’s all she needs.” 

Lyney hummed. “Sounds like a quaint little family.” 

“We are.” You smiled and let out a sigh as you spotted Erika and Lilia waiting by the Fountain of Lucine. 

Erika noticed you first. Her mouth opened as if she was about to call for you, before her eyes landed on Lyney. A knowing smirk pulled at her lips, and she sent you a wink before turning to distract Lilia. 

Your eye twitched, though you found you didn’t mind her actions. It left you with more time to talk to Lyney. 

“Are you perhaps free this week?” Lyney questioned, a hint of nervousness in his tone. 

You turned to face him. “Well, it depends on the day, but I should be. Fridays tend to be my most free days.” 

You worked at a small cafe in the city three times a week. It wasn’t the best in hours, but the pay was great. It was a step up from your last job, at least. 

A mischievous glint sparkled in Lyney’s eyes. He slipped his arm from yours and brought your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand. “Then I shall see you on Friday at Hotel Debord,” he winked, “It’s a date.” 

You stared after him with your mouth open like a loser, completely taken aback by his forwardness. When you regrouped with Erika and Lilia, your best friend was hounding you with question after question. 

“So? What’d he say!?” 

“I don’t know why you think something happened, we were just talking.” You tried to change the subject, feeling your face heat up in not only embarrassment, but because of the charming magician who caught your eye. 

“Lies!” Erika exclaimed, pointing a finger in your face. “I saw him kiss your hand! That’s not ‘just talking’ to me!” 

You slapped her finger out of your face. “Alright fine! He asked me out, so what?” You crossed your arms over your chest. 

Erika squealed in delight, jumping up and down. She seemed to be more excited about this than you. You could feel your heartbeat race the more you thought about your upcoming date. 

“(Name), I’m so happy for you!” Erika shook your shoulders.

“He– I didn’t want to be with someone anymore,” you said quietly, “I wasn’t planning on it. I just wanted to continue with our little family.” 

Sensing your fear, Erika wrapped you up in a hug. “I know you’re scared to enter the dating scene again, but Lyney seems like a genuinely sweet guy. He’s nothing like he who must not be named. I’ll be here with you every step of the way, okay? I’m right here, like I’ve always been.” 

You hugged her back tightly, shoving your face into her shoulder. “What if he’s not good with Lilia? What if she doesn’t like him?” 

Erika squeezed you. “Are you joking?” she laughed, “do you hear yourself? We’re talking about a man who mostly performs magic shows for children. Have you seen the way he interacts with them? Dare I say that man is ready to have one of his own.” 

A laugh fell from your lips as you thought back to the day you met him. Him and his sister were entertaining your daughter. You could still remember the soft look in their eyes as they spoke with her. 

“You’re right,” you sighed and took hold of Lilia’s hand, “I’ll give him a chance.” 

“That’s the spirit! Let’s get ice cream to celebrate!” Erika shouted, throwing a fist into the air. 

“Ice cream!” Lilia giggled, copying Erika’s actions. 

You watched the two of them race to the aquabus and smiled fondly. “What am I going to do with you two?” 

The week went by smoothly, and with each day that passed, you grew more and more anxious for your date with Lyney. Of course, you were excited, but you were mostly nervous. You haven’t been on a date in years, so you didn’t know how this one would go. You hoped it would be much different from your last one. 

The day before your date, you were working as usual. The sun was beginning to set over the Court of Fontaine, and you were counting down the minutes until you’d be able to clock out and head home to Lilia. You hummed the tune of the song that was currently playing on the cafe’s speakers, Le Souvenir avec le crepuscule, and watched the sky turn into a mix of pinks and oranges. 

Sunsets in the Court of Fontaine were your favorite. Watching the sun fall over the high walls while the cafe played that old tune your grandmother used to sing to you made you feel as if you were living in a fairytale. 

Someone cleared their throat, drawing you out of your stupor. You drew your attention to the customer standing before you. “Apologies for the wait,” you said, “what can I— Oh! Miss Lynette!” 

Standing before you was Lyney’s twin sister and assistant, Lynette. Although the bags under her eyes revealed her exhaustion, her violet eyes sparkled with excitement. She sent you a small, barely noticeable smile. 

“You can drop the formalities. Just Lynette is fine.” She assured you, waving a hand dismissively. “A coffee, please. Just a bit of creamer and one scoop of sugar.” 

You returned her smile and got to work. Humming along to the song on the speakers again, you could feel Lynette’s eyes on you as you worked. It sent a shiver down your spine picturing her calculating gaze in your head. 

Was there something else she wanted? Surely she would’ve already asked for another thing off the menu if that was the case. 

Out of nervousness, you fiddled with the lid to the cup as you brought it to the counter, accidentally spilling some of her hot coffee all over your hand. Crying out in pain, you dropped the cup and clutched your hand. 

Lynette hopped behind the counter at your cry and guided you over to the sink. “Try not to panic.” She gently eased your hand under the faucet. “Keep your hand here for about twenty minutes and keep the water lukewarm.” She instructed, moving away from you. 

Idiot! You scolded yourself. How could you embarrass yourself in front of his sister? And spill her order, of all things!

“Do you have any plant-based ointments at home?” She asked, turning to you with a brand new cup of coffee in her hand. 

You pushed down the feeling of guilt and nodded. “Yes. Lilia has gotten a few burns like this before after I told her not to touch the stove and she did so anyway.” You let out a sigh at the memory. At least she knew not to go and touch things that were hot ever again. 

Lynette let out a soft laugh. “Lyney did that once when we were kids, too. One of our older sisters was cooking, and without thinking, Lyney went up to the stove and grabbed the pot. He cried for a while, and our poor sister was blaming herself for it. Father had always told us not to go near the stove, yet he didn’t listen.”

You let out a loud laugh. “Every child learns. Even we adults learn simple lessons. It’s a part of being human.” 

She hummed in agreement and turned off the faucet. “Thank you for the coffee.” You opened your mouth to protest, when she sent you a sharp look. Understanding the message, you closed your mouth and nodded. 

She let out a content sigh. “I sincerely hope your date with my brother goes well tomorrow.” Ah… So she heard word through the grapevine, did she? “I know he can be a bit much, but he means well. I think you’re just what he needs.” 

If she meant anything by those words, she didn’t elaborate. Instead, she sent you one final smile and left the cafe— not before abruptly stopping to turn around and give you one final message, “Oh, and he asked me to tell you to wear something formal. Have fun.” 

Finding a formal outfit was harder than you initially thought. You couldn’t remember the last time you owned a formal dress or dress suit, and the most “formal” article of clothing you owned was the bridesmaid dress from a friend’s wedding and a sundress that Erika bought you for your birthday while you were still pregnant with Lilia. 

You searched your closet high and low— tearing apart your entire room in the process —to look for anything formal. Yet, you came up empty, and you had approximately two hours before you had to be at Hotel Debord. 

To say you were panicking was an understatement. Erika’s younger sister offered to watch Lilia for you as you and Erika tried to come up with an alternative. 

“I have a ton of formal dresses,” she said, “you know, from all those parties my ex would drag me to? How about one of those?” 

You sent her a look. “Erika, I would not be able to fit into those dresses even if I tried. I lost that ability after having Lilia.” 

“Right, um…” She sent you an apologetic look and hummed in thought. She snapped her fingers. “How about we ask that fashion designer? Chiori, I think? I’m sure she could help!” 

“We have two hours!” You yelled. 

“I’m running out of ideas!” She yelled back defensively.

Now, you were in complete panic mode, pacing around your room with your hands covering your face. “What if I just call it off…” 

Erika’s eyes widened. “No! Are you kidding!? This is your first date in ages, don’t you even dare think about calling it off!” 

She shot up from her spot on your bed and grabbed your shoulders, halting your movements. She squeezed you reassuringly, her expression sincere as she watched tears roll down your cheeks. “We’ll find something, okay? I’m not about to give up, and you shouldn’t either.” 

Bringing you into a tight hug, she revisited her earlier idea. “I have an idea. While I’m gone, you doll yourself up, okay? I shouldn’t be too long.” She grabbed her purse and placed a kiss on your cheek. 

“Don’t worry!” She pointed a finger at you from the doorway. “Erika’s on the case!” 

With a flourish, she slammed the door. 

Finding Lynette was easy. She was occupying a table at the same cafe you worked at, sipping idly on a cup of tea. 

“Miss Lynette!” Erika called, waving a hand in the air as she approached the rather unsociable magician. “Do you have a moment?” 

Lynette sighed disinterestedly. “If you have work related inquiries, please ask Lyney. If you have questions related to seeing a magic show, please ask the ticket office.” 

Erika sat down in the seat next to Lynette. “This isn’t about either. This is about (Name).” 

Lynette’s ears perked up at the mention of your name. “Has something happened?” 

“Not any medical emergencies!” Erika assured. “It’s just… she realized she didn’t have a formal outfit for tonight, and she can’t exactly wear any of my dresses. I was hoping you could pull some strings and get us in with Chiori.”

With another sigh, Lynette opened her mouth. “Please!” Erika quipped, folding her hands together. “I know it’s last minute, but please.” 

A few moments of silence passed. Lynette finished her tea and stood up. “Alright. I’ll try my best, but I can’t guarantee anything.” 

You had just finished doing your hair when the front door to your apartment opened and you heard Erika animatedly talking, followed by two other voices. 

There was a knock on your bedroom door, before Erika swung the door open and beamed at you. You were about to scold her for the intrusion, when the Chiori— famous Inazuman fashion designer Chiori who you always wanted a dress from but you couldn’t afford her services —waltzed in behind her. 

She cringed at the ransacked room. “Ugh, this place looks awful. Did the Gardes run through here?” She clicked her tongue and turned to you. “Stand up, we’re running on— how long again?” 

“An hour.” Erika answered, throwing her purse elsewhere and beginning to clean up your room. 

Lynette entered a moment later, carrying three large boxes. As Erika quickly shoved everything off your bed, Lynette placed the boxes down and opened them. 

Chiori grabbed hold of you and pulled you up from your vanity chair. “Do you mind taking the robe off for me? I need to take your measurements.” 

You did as told and placed your robe on the back of your vanity chair, allowing Chiori to quickly gather your measurements. She hummed in thought, turning to the three boxes sitting on your bed. 

“I brought three sizes. Your usual, a size up, and a size down.” She rummaged through the middle box, pulling out a navy blue dress. “Try this on.” 

She circled you, her eyes calculating as you slipped into the dress and Erika zipped it up in the back. It was flowy, like a ballgown, with a modest front. 

Chiori made a face. “This is atrocious on you. You need something else— something that’ll accentuate your figure and your chest. Strip.” 

She searched through the box on the right, pulling out a blood red dress and handing it to you. “Here. I think this’ll do just that.” 

This dress was a bit looser, but it was perfect. You could freely move your limbs and although it was form-fitting, you could still breathe properly. It cascaded down in a mermaid-like fashion, and there was a slit in the left side of the dress, revealing your thigh. There was lace on the top in a flowery pattern. 

It wasn’t the sort of dress you’d ever wear, but turning to look at yourself in your full length mirror, you gasped as you immediately fell in love with it. 

Chiori smirked smugly. “Now this is perfect. Does the front feel okay?” She tugged at one of the thin straps and pushed the lace down in the front. 

“No, it’s… it’s perfect,” you said breathlessly, placing your hands on your hips. “Are we sure this is me?” 

Erika whistled. “Damn, Lyney’s lucky. And that neckline— your tits have never looked this great! Dare I say this is a baby-making dress, because he’s definitely gonna want to give you another after tonight.” 

You shoved her for that comment. 

Lynette smiled. “You look breathtaking, (Name). Knowing my brother, he’ll be speechless once he sees you. How much time do we have?” 

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Erika cheered. “Five minutes! Just in time! Are there heels to match?” 

“Right here.” 

Chiori pulled a pair of heels out of the box and guided you to your vanity chair. She knelt down, gently taking your calf into her hand and resting your foot on her thigh as slipped your heels on. 

You felt like a princess with all this special treatment. Lynette tugged a black shawl around your shoulders to keep you warm and helped you to your feet. 

Just as you stood up, there was a knock on the front door. Erika squealed, pushing you out of your bedroom. “Now, don’t worry about the mess in your room, I’ll clean it, and Amélia is watching Lilia so there’s no need to worry about her, either.” 

“What about the—“ 

“It’s free of charge,” Chiori interrupted, “I owed Lynette a favor, anyway, since she modeled for me in my last show.” 

You sent her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Chiori. Truly.” 

She sent you a curt nod, though there was a small, barely noticeable smile pulling at her lips.

With a deep breath, you opened the front door, seeing a nervous Lyney standing on the other side. He was wearing a suit, the tie a similar shade of red to your dress, and the hat covered in sparkles. 

He was holding a bouquet of rainbow roses, the same flowers he had given you on your first meeting. As soon as he heard the door open, he looked up, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. His mouth dropped open in shock, and he almost dropped the bouquet in his hands. 

“Mon amour, you look stunning.” He stuttered over his words a little, his cheeks tomato red. 

You felt your cheeks grow warm as he handed you the bouquet. “Thank you. Um… shall we go?” You cleared your throat, handing the flowers off to Erika to put in a vase. 

“Of course.” He offered you his arm, and you took it eagerly. 

The whole night was filled with laughter and wonder, as he continued to surprise you with tricks of charm and awe. He pulled a rose from behind your ear, snapped his fingers and turned the flowers on the table into doves, and turned your cup of juice into wine. 

Being with Lyney felt like you were a teenager again, experiencing young love for the first time. It was invigorating, like free-falling from a mountain peak. 

It was over too quickly. Soon, you had to leave, and he was walking you back home. The streetlamps provided just enough light for you to see in the dark, yet they didn’t outshine the light of the moon over the Court of Fontaine. 

It was a cloudless night. The stars were shining brighter than they have in a long time, and you could’ve sworn you saw a shooting star. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. 

You haven’t seen the sky this clear in years. Has your judgment really clouded your vision this badly? Or has Lyney just brightened up your life without you noticing? 

He bid you farewell at your doorstep, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of your hand. As soon as you stepped inside, you were bombarded with questions from Erika. 

The two of you had a sleepover in your room, wherein you talked her ear off the whole rest of the night. 

The weeks came and went, and the more that time passed, the more Lyney had become integrated into your little family. 

First, it was showing up at your workplace unannounced to bring you lunch (a gesture you found incredibly sweet, but unnecessary since you always packed your own). Then, it was the offer to babysit Lilia for you while you were at work. And of course, your daughter was never going to pass up the chance to watch Lyney’s magic tricks. 

After that, it was fighting with Erika as if she were another one of his sisters. As soon as the two of them began to form a friendship, your heart swelled with affection. 

If your best friend approved of him and considered him one of her friends, you knew he was someone worthy of your time. 

Lynette eventually started coming around too, showing up at your apartment for tea parties and even going as far as playing dolls and dress-up with Lilia. Even Freminet, a sweet boy and the twins’ younger brother, was dragged along to your place too. 

Your little family was growing bigger by the day. It was a tad overwhelming to have so many people in your house again after years of only sharing it with two other people, but at the same time, it felt… revitalizing. You had a family once more. 

And then… the fateful day came. 

As you were tucking Lilia into bed, humming her the same lullaby your grandmother once sung to you, she grabbed your hand and began playing with your fingers. 

“Mama?” 

“Yes sweetheart?” You brushed her hair out of her face and handed her her teddy bear. 

“Can Mr. Lyney be my daddy?” 

In pure shock, your mouth fell open and you struggled to form an answer. You knew Lilia had formed an attachment to him, but you weren’t expecting her to outright ask you if he could be her father. 

You wouldn’t mind it. You’d love for him to be her father. He was already helping you care for her, there just wasn’t an official label on your relationship yet. 

“How about you ask him the next time he visits?” You told her, sending her a smile and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m sure he’d love to.” 

That’s exactly what she did. The next time Lyney came over to babysit, Lilia asked him the same question she asked you. And just like you, he had been rendered speechless. 

He never answered her question directly. He was way too shocked to do so, but he did take her words into consideration as he sought out his Father. 

Arlecchino was a stoic faced woman who wasn’t  exactly the best caretaker, but she was making it work in her own way. Although some of her methods of parenting were unusual, they ultimately helped her children prepare for the outside world and to stay unwavering in their resolve. 

She wasn’t forthcoming with her affection for her children. There were roundabout ways she went about showing it, often through gifts. She wasn’t exactly a loving Father nor a parental figure her children needed, but she was enough for them. For now, at least. 

There was a compassion underneath her hard exterior, though it was never obvious with her words. She preferred to let her actions speak for her. 

And by giving the ring her old lover once owned over to Lyney, that same compassion revealed itself. “I wish you luck in your endeavors,” she said, a hint of sincerity peeking through in her voice, “but I hope you understand that by extension, you will be dragging your newfound family into our affairs.” 

Lyney’s frown deepened. “I know. But (Name) is already aware of this, and we had a serious talk about it. She understands.” 

Arlecchino stared at him, her gaze unwavering. “And her daughter?” 

He stiffened. “I don’t want Lilia to be a part of our work. She shouldn’t have to deal with that burden. She deserves a normal childhood.” 

“I trust you will tell her when she’s old enough, then.” 

With a nod, Lyney swallowed the lump in his throat. “I will. Just… not now. She’s too young.” 

Arlecchino let out a satisfied sigh and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Then I give you my blessing.” 

That was all he needed to hear before he bolted out the door, his heart racing with excitement as he ran to you and Lilia. To home.

notes: the parts with chiori were by far my favorite to write. also, the dress i was picturing was the red version of this one (but in a bigger size obvi). i think we as a society need to appreciate mom bods more. we as a society need to appreciate all body types more. also shoutout to single mothers who do everything they can to make their child(ren) happy while also taking care of themselves too. i have sm respect for them.

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Hi, Ray! The author of Foxes, Pillars, and Sea-salt Rust here!!! Someone recommended my fic here????? I'm so honored!!! 🥹

So I would like to put forth my own recommendations too. I put it in my fic's AN's also, but I highly recommend Far Beyond the Woods of Dawn by wolfghost (and the entire Drag My Dark Into The Dawn AU series the fic is part of, and I suggest you access the series while logged in, because a couple of the fics are registered users only, I promise it's worth it) and The Weaver by Concerned_Brown_Bread! Both feature OCs as protagonists, a Senju for the former (Tobirama's granddaughter) and an Uchiha for the latter (Itachi's elder twin sister).

Drag My Dark has to be one of the most immersive fiction experiences I've had, up there with the manga Otoyomegatari (if you know, you know), the character psychology is top-notch, the author expertly weaves worldbuilding into the narration in a way that it's so seamless and not at all like an infodump, I like to describe it as “a slice-of-life except that the characters live in a horrible war-torn war and that affects how they navigate their lives”. The world just feels lived-in. There's information about how wars cause sanctions and prices to rise and a good highlight on what it's like to be a civilian in this kind of world. The protagonist is still a child, but the author captures children in their writing so well. She's a traumatized young child and she acts like that!! Her trauma informs how she views everything, and her being raised by civilians (long story, read the prequel to find out lol) affects how she views shinobi and the world at large! I can't wait for what the story has in store for her. We're entering the Kirigakure arc 👀 (also heavily featuring so far are Tsunade and Kushina!! Kushina's chapter has got to be one of my favorites)

The Weaver takes on a different vibe and path regarding the politics and worldbuilding, but also really plausible and I love how the author incorporates academic excerpts from the future like snippets from a history book into the chapters itself like it just gives this work such a grand feel of “oh things are gonna have consequences, we're along the ride of a big, world-changing tale”. The characterization is top-notch in this fic. You really do feel the complicated dynamics between the family members, how for all that Itachi is a prodigy he is also just a child and thus lacks the perspective to see propaganda for what it is, and the author does so brilliantly by contrasting him against his twin sister, the protagonist, who's a reborn adult (a politician in her past life who died of heat stroke before election day, which is objectively the funniest premise for a reincarnation EVER). The protagonist is witty, smart, funny, relatable, and just all-around very good. She lives rent-free in my head, can you tell? I know the fic is on hiatus but I had the privilege to read the unpublished chapters because ✨beta✨ and I promise you, it's very well worth it.

Both fics give weight to civilians instead of immediately dismissing them as “weak and stupid”, I love love love both fics and please please please read them I promise they're amazing! They have very different vibes but they're both amazing.

As for my fic, yeah I did base my protagonist off of Sansa Stark, LOL. I even tried to incorporate Sansa's lines from the first book into my own writing to really sell the vibe!

I love Whirlpool Queen, Maelstrom King but the politics in Foxes, Pillars, and Sea-salt Rust take on a very different shape from WQMK's— a bit more like wolfghost's Drag My Dark. I too will feature civilians in this fic! Daimyo's and nobility and merchants and commoners alike! Please look forward to it! I have Plans™ for Uzushio's politics and its role in the world as a whole.

Hello lovely!!! Glad you dropped by to drop some recs!

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Peaceful Property dove a bit deeper into the Thai spiritual beliefs that most Thai BL watchers will have recognized casually cropping up in shows and interviews where they talk about whether they're afraid of ghosts and such.

I’m not an expert in anyway on Thai occult traditions, and I also recognize that a lot of English writing about folk religions is the absolute worst (both among academics and among the new-agey amateur crowd). However, this writing from the digital Southeast Asian culture publication, Rice Media, about the experience of Signaporean author, Benjamin Lim, going through a Thai occult ritual is a pretty easy read tht treats the process and background beliefs with respect and realism.

For example, it distinguishes three regional variations, with the southern region of Dai, including Bangkok, associated with monks and chanting, the northwestern region of Neueh associated most with ghosts, and the northeastern region of Issan connected on occult magical practices.

Part of the background info touched on amulets, and it’s run down explains not only what Aunt Phom is doing in the episode but how symbolic it was of her maltreatment of Baanchuen.

“Often, spells and other types of chants are used to summon spirits or ghosts to amulets, which are usually shaped in the form of a deity. They are typically worn as a form of protection. But these spirits, “enslaved” by the amulet wearers, can also be instructed to help their masters in various ways, for example increasing their wealth or even improve their love life.

Like pets, these spirits need to be looked after and showered with attention. If not, they may feel neglected and can hurt their master. Any good luck that they bring to the amulet wearer must also be repaid in merit, which Peter says can be making donations to charity in the name of the spirit. 

“There is no free lunch in this world,”he stresses.”

Aunt Phon wanted to exploit her laborers and the spirits to maintain her family’s wealth and status with no regard for making merit of any kind to others.

Idk how common this knowledge would be for most Thai folks, but knowing that info, if accurate, illuminates so much in the episode and the Emily Gilmore of Thailand. I can't wait until someone with more familiarity lays out more of the details about the Thai occult references here!

[tendermiasma]

Hello. This is totally random ask but I hope you can forgive me for it.

I have no idea about Baldur’s Gate except very vague knowledge of some characters everyone seems to talk about, but yesterday my friend introduced me to your artwork and your OC Clover, and I AM OBSESSED! Had to subscribed to your Patreon right away too because sorry not sorry I love omegaverse. So I suppose I wanted to thank you for doing lord’s work drawing beautiful boys who are loved by beautiful bearman 🤣

I also have two questions, I hope you don’t mind. I noticed you allow fics about your boys. By any chance, do you know about any fic written about them? Because I really want to read about Clover and Halsion in any possible shape and form now. And to be honest I am tempted to try my hand at writing something myself. But first I guess I need to learn about the lore a little. Which brings me to the question no. 2 do you have any bits of your lore for the two of them written somewhere? Perhaps here? I saw you wrote something on your Patreon, so I am going to read it, but I can’t imagine writing something without having more background on the two of them. Or knowing more about Clover in general. (I guess this is also a sort of request for you to tell us more about your beautiful Clover and Halsion. )

(God, I realise this ask is terribly demanding, I am so sorry. If nothing else I just wanted to let you know I am feral about your art, it’s beautiful and hot and wholesome and your OC is gorgeous! Thank you for creating and sharing it with us ♥️)

Hey there, thank you so much! It makes me so happy you enjoy Clover :,) He's super special to me and I love sharing him (omegaverse is the best and I'm glad we both agree).

I would be absolutely delighted by fics of them. Happy to say I've had many lovely people ask to write, but I haven't been alerted to the existence of any just yet. I'm in the middle of getting together a sort of masterpost for Clover stuff, but if you're willing to sort through some art, the Clover tag, this specific post, and also this one have story stuff.

If you have any specific questions I'm happy to answer though it might take me a bit, but I'll let you know if I'm saving something for a reveal!

Thank you also for your support on Patreon, it means a lot to me. So glad you like what I have and also I hope you feel nice about helping an artist live off work they really enjoy doing!

[neuroticbookworm]

Love in the Big City Part 2: Go Yeong and Umma

I was chased around, threatened, bullied and emotionally manipulated for months to write this piece, so @lurkingshan, this one's for you. *please release my family*

When I was reading the book, in Part 1, I remember being frustrated with Young as a narrator because of how standoffish he seemed with his descriptions of the people in his life (except Jaehee – Mi Ae in the show). I wanted to understand the emotional distance I felt in his words. And I got my answer in Part 2, where the relationship with his Umma was laid bare for us to see. The structure of this section was so smart, for it established the roots of his behavior in his childhood with Umma, and linked it to how it shaped the relationship he currently had with Hyung. Seeing it come to life on screen in the episodes this week was a treat to watch.

It becomes evident that Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma is complicated as soon as we see them interact on screen. She is steadfastly religious, someone who believes that miracles can cure things that humans sometimes deem incurable, like cancer. We could easily infer from what we’ve seen of Go Yeong so far that she would not approve of his life.

Before I get into how her opinions and actions affect and influence Go Yeong, I wanna fully break down some of the objective facts we know about her:

She divorced her husband after he stepped out of their marriage and didn’t even have the courage to tell her about his infidelity

She is a single mother

She is an entrepreneur (in fact, we see her working from her bed in the hospital in multiple scenes)

She is religious and believes in the power of God

She is proud of her son

She loves her son

The last two points come with the biggest asterisks, because if she loves and feels pride for her son, how could she make him feel so alone? And now I shall try to explore this woman’s psyche to the best of my abilities, with a little bit of help from my personal experiences and therapy sessions I’ve paid money for over the years.

When we try to picture a homophobic parent, the image that our brain usually conjures up is often one-dimensional. (Note: This is NOT AN EXCUSE. I’m not trying to justify her actions. I am simply trying to understand why she did the things she did, by placing the context of the events of her life around them.) It is easier to process our emotions re: bad parents who hurt their children when we view their actions as simple. “They could’ve chosen not to do it and yet they did, so I hate them” is the conclusion that is the easiest to arrive at. That doesn’t make it untrue, but oftentimes, it is not the whole truth. Life is rarely, if ever, that simple, and our parents can truly love us while also rejecting fundamental parts of who we are, and never reconcile the two.

We see in the show the circumstances under which Yeom Eun Suk (Umma) finds out about her husband’s affair. She and little Go Yeong observe him from the sidelines, hidden, and see him smile like he had never done in all the time he had spent with them. We see Eun Suk feeling crushed by the implication that whatever love and happiness she thought she had had in her life with her husband was all potentially a farce. The fact that she chose to separate from him implies a couple of things: 1. She had strength and resourcefulness to provide for her son as a single mother in a restrictive patriarchal society like South Korea, and 2. She understood that staying in the unhappy marriage would only make her bitter and would affect her son more negatively than him growing up with a single parent.

She was brave enough to make those choices, and yet was still bound by her sense of propriety molded by society, and her faith. I’ve had a dynamic relationship with faith throughout my life, but I understood pretty quickly that questioning one’s faith is a particularly painful experience. Faith is supposed to be the solace one could turn to during trying times. When one is forced by circumstance to question their faith, it leaves them unmoored on the inside and further isolated on the outside. Eun Suk was already isolated to a certain degree by her divorce and her single motherhood. From what we learned in the book, there’s a history of cancer diagnoses in her family, so I would posit that she had been in Go Yeong’s shoes before, caring for her terminally ill parents in the past. Which is additional trauma from caregiving in her young adulthood that would’ve shaped her life. So I understand Eun Suk not questioning her faith when it was shaken.

She rebuilt her life and community by pursuing her faith—attending church, making friends who shared those values, and idolizing the Christian heteronormative lifestyle even after it failed her. She followed the rules dictated by her faith and community with utmost devotion, including building an entire business around heteronormative romance, in part because she had already transgressed by breaking up her own family and needed to prove she was not bucking that ideal or rejecting the church’s teachings with her choices. We see her take care of her appearance over and over when she is in the hospital after her first diagnosis and surgery, and it is yet another sign of her conformity and dedication to presenting a certain picture of her life. I understand why she would see her teenage son kissing a boy as a blemish on “a life deemed beautiful by God” and panic. I understand why she would think a psychiatric facility would help her son, and that it was her duty to try. (Note: once again, I am not justifying her actions, I am trying to understand them. Conversion therapy is deplorable and my heart goes out to everyone who has been subjected to it, including Go Yeong.) Eun Suk’s faith saved her by giving her purpose and community after her husband’s betrayal, but it also told her that her son, in his queerness, is fundamentally flawed. And like most people in this world, she chose not to rethink her entire life, and instead chose to believe that it is her duty to save her son from homosexuality and guide him to righteousness via the same path that saved her own life, ultimately traumatizing him. Hello, intergenerational trauma, my old friend!

@lurkingshan has already discussed the kdrama-fication of Part 2, with the increased intensity of Go Yeong’s romance with Hyung/Yeong Su. Expanding on that, I think the show’s depiction of Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma rounded out the sharp edges of Young’s cynical tone from the book. We see her enjoy spending time with him. We see her joke around with him. We see her read her child with uncanny precision that mothers seem to have when she asked him “Why are you sulking like a child?”, when he was, in fact, sulking like a child. We see her observe and deduce that her son is probably seeing someone, and that someone is likely a man. Which then leads to her asking “Must I meet them?” when Go Yeong suggests a meeting with Yeong Su in the park. She runs from direct confrontation of her son’s sexuality, and yet diligently copies Bible verses, hoping for a miracle.

Eun Suk sees her son’s queerness as her own failure, and Go Yeong, in turn, sees his righteous anger towards his Umma, as his. She is so proud of him that she saves newspaper clippings of his achievements, but she is also ashamed that she couldn’t “save” him. She loves him within the confines of her faith. It’s not enough for Go Yeong, but it’s the best she can do; their relationship remains at an impossible impasse.

Yeong Su’s presence in this section is interesting because in addition to his primary role of serving as the broody, tortured creative who swept Go Yeong up in a whirlwind romance, he also serves as a parallel to Umma’s traits. When Yeong Su exclaims that “someone like [Go Yeong] couldn’t even imagine [his struggles]”, it rang eerily close to Umma telling her son “Don’t try too hard. Everyone must go sometimes”. The expression of disdain is the same, but in Yeong Su it reads hollow, as a pretentious assumption, while with Umma it registers as tired disappointment that Go Yeong would’ve surely felt as heavy as a boulder.

After finishing the book, I found myself going back to a particular paragraph:

...[I] was old enough to know that my mother did not exist solely to hinder my existence but was a person in her own right who had fought hard making her way through life. She just happened to be unlucky. In other words, the fact that our relationship had been so terrible was as natural as cancer or fungus or the rotation of our planet or sunspots. I knew this, but the feeling that she was the source of all my problems kept nagging at me. I kicked myself for thinking this about a dying person, someone who was only skin and bones at this point, but the thought refused to leave my mind.

It took me a long time to reach the acceptance Sang Young Park has put in words here. The fact that my trauma is an unfortunate byproduct of the life my parents had lived, and was not premeditated or fuelled by hate, was a hard and unfair pill to swallow. I want to grab Go Yeong and tell him that it is okay if he can’t ever forgive his Umma. Time will wash over his hurt and let him love her, even without the apology he deserves from his Umma. And I hope that, one day, he can learn to love the people in his life differently than the love he received from his mother.

[fishyvamp]

I have a confession to make, I haven't seen a single scream movie in my life in fact the only horror movie franchises I have seen are Saw and Chucky... I vibe with both for different reasons.

This spooky season I am slowly rectifying this, but I feel so bad because I feel like such a poser. I talk about loving horror, but I don't know the classics hell even my horror games are abysmal. I only got into horror things as an adult after leaving the cult I grew up in, but there is so much out there it's borderline overwhelming. (Well I have been watching Markiplier since 2014, but that barely counts) If anyone has any good recommendations I'd love to hear it.

[turtleblogatlast]

Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in

Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.

[starry-bi-sky]

Danyal Al Ghul's missed potential - this kid is not gonna behave like his canon self if he's with the league of assassins until his late formative years, and my reasoning why

(feel free to take this all with a grain of salt this is just my thoughts on it, this is all mostly amusing to me and isn't trying to be negative towards anyone else)

similar to how i was talking about how danny growing up in crime alley would affect him, demon twin aus with danyal al ghul make me laugh a lot (affectionate) because... whose teaching danny to unlearn all the ecofascism he picked up from the league of assassins? whose teaching him to be kind? to be gentle? Not the LoA thats for certain.

(you could plausibly say Jazz but she's only 2 years older than Danny and do you really expect a fellow child to properly explain why X is wrong to another child and have it be 100% effective? i don't doubt it'd help to an extent, but not in the same way an adult explaining it would)

plus a ton of other things, like whose teaching him to value human life? not the LoA. Whose teaching him how to adjust to living with American society after he ends up with the Fentons when he's 8-9-10? Who teaches him that killing is wrong, whose enforcing that?

(not the Fentons if you're going the neglectful parent route, and Jazz can try but i really don't think Danny is going to listen to her, a stranger who isn't even part of his grandfather's league)

How do you teach a child to value human life when the greatest development window for that opportunity has closed and he's already formed his own opinions?

You're not gonna get a Danny whose exactly like his canon attitude if he's staying with the league during his formative years (0-8 years old). you're not. You could get someone LIKE it, potentially, or someone who has traces of it or is similar -- like danny's wit and jokes and sarcasm, and on some level his kindness. but you're not gonna have a carbon copy. Development doesn't work that way. "nature" can only do so much in the face of nurture.

If anything, it doesn't even have to be a major change -- in the league he cans till be kind, but it's probably going to manifest in a different way than what is considered normal. Tough love, for one. But there's gonna be something that affects him negatively. Why make him 'always good/kind' when you can make him a brat who develops into a kinder (if spikier than in canon) person?

TLDR: Danyal Al Ghul would not be like how he is in canon if he's with the league until his late formative years -- not without any lasting pr permanent impacts from the league at least. Missed potential to make him an absolute nightmare like damian was -- especially in his early years when he first arrived to the Fenton house.

(this doesn't apply to danyal al ghul aus where he's either given to the fentons as a baby/is reincarnated/etc. this is mostly aimed for danyal al ghul aus where he fakes his death at like, 7-10 and somehow ends up, personality-wise like his completely canon self by 14 without any differences.)

(and even then if he's five or four, or even three, he would still be traumatized and influenced by the league. he'll just have more time to adjust. the sooner he leaves the league the more likely he is to be like his canon self, but not like an exact copy)

(more under the cut)

Anyways what I'm saying is that there is prime missed Danyal al Ghul potential to make him an absolute NIGHTMARE to the Fentons however way he ends up with them, just like Damian was with the Waynes! Cuz why does Damian get all the fun? Danny got the same training and endoctrine as him! He is also an ex-assassin! Why is Danny the only one who is 'well adjusted and non-violent' hm? Hmm?

Why can't he also be mean, and stabby, and a total stuck-up in some way or another? Have fun with his characterization, its prime opportunity to play play-doh and clay with him! If he starts out as X how does he get the personality traits of Y, and thus become XY?

Like take this with a grain of salt if you will, but make him arrogant. Make him an asshole! Make him a bad person at first! Because he will be! He's the blood son of the batman and you mean to tell me that damian is the only one arrogant about it at first? Make him stabby and mean even at 14 when he's begun to chill out! Have fun with it! If he's with the Fentons at any point past the age of four or five then he's gonna be a nightmare to handle because he still remembers the league and his time there.

(and while it gives him more time to chill the hell out, his time at the league is still gonna leave an impact on him.)

also what im saying as well is have him and sam potentially get along like a house on FIRE. Again, Danny grew up under the views of an ecofascist cult and nobody to challenge those views to him until he got to amity park at whatever age in late formative years he was at. He could be about as intense or even MORE intense about environmental awareness/rights than Sam is!

(also him being supremely unimpressed with Sam's wealth. he gave up a palace in the mountains for this town. because that's funny to me - like let his past have more influence on him! it'll be fun!)

you could have a danny who doesn't kill but doesn't fully understand the value of human life because jazz is like two years older than him and isn't that good at explaining why people's lives are important. he won't kill but he's not morally opposed to it. there's very little chance he actually gets bullied at school because he nearly killed Dash the first time he tried anything.

Danny could have scars, physical ones, because its implied in multiple canon that training starts at toddling (my best bet is 3 at minimum and ~maybe~ 2 but only on the later side of 2. Good fucking luck getting any infant under 2 to do anything you ask, ESPECIALLY assassin training. They're gonna stick the weapon in their mouth sooner than they're gonna do katas. This is coming from a daycare teacher.)

there's more examples of how danny being at the league during his formative years would affect him, but those are just some of them. he could have a sword! An appreciation for weaponry and nature. Maybe he still speaks all shakespearan and formal, does he still make bodily threats to people? If Damian is still threatening people at 14 why can't danny?

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (3)

au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?

for the ask game!

oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun

if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-

i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.

oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.

for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.

that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.

[ao3userforgets]

i need to mutter into the void so i’m going to post under the cut the trials and tribs of my current clegan fic writing experience so no one including (especially) me has to make eye contact with it. it’s basically a diary entry. god bless anyone that reads it lol. love and light 🫶

goddamn writing this fic is kicking my ass. it was just meant to be an angsty gale introspective. then i started another and that was meant to be them just fucking absolute nasty style. now i fear they have combined, morphed, metamorphosed, and it’s becoming a monster. goddamn. what does one do in this situation? it would be my first time posting in this fandom and my second time posting fic at all. i’m shaking in my boots about it. there is so much wonderful fic being posted for this pairing and so many approaches and styles. i would love to get mine out and see it amongst those works. i’m just not sure how to go about constructing this fic and how to post about it. i’d like to post some bits and pieces and maybe someone will see it and tell me it’s worth it to finish it but first and foremost i’m really writing this for myself, because it’s the type of fic i love to read and also i feel like i need to be writing it so my mind is creating something. and it would feel like a waste to me and a let down for myself if i never post it. also i’m projecting very hard onto it and onto gale as a character, so it feels kind of personal in some parts? which can’t totally be avoided but because of that and because the way i write is also very personal to me it’s making something that should be fun to post about feel quite daunting. but i want to push myself so badly because it’s been years since i’ve done that, maybe i’ve never done that. and Of Course it’s wwii yaoi that’s gotten me to this point.

anyway, y’all ever think about gale identifying as a more feminine being than is expected for a man like him in the time he’s in, thus manifesting itself into years of repression he’s not entirely aware of until he meets and grows closer to bucky, and how he comes to terms with being awakened in such a way that has laid dormant until he’s in the literal u.s. military, and eventually in one of the least survivable theatres of the war, and in suffocating proximity day in and day out with one john bucky egan? and how he navigates his bond with marge, now in contrast to how he feels for john? and how even his childhood and the lives of his parents is being pushed forwards in his consciousness in relation to his sense of self and his place in the lives of others? oh and also how absolutely Biblically he wants john, in the most unconventional and all encompassing ways? all while he has no context for queerness and sexuality as it relates to himself? i dunno what freak would be into writing or reading that 👀 🚬💀

[merakiui]

Helloo i just came to your blog and found the whole apocalypes au interesting 👀

I dont understand much of the au concept tjo so mind enlightening me? ^^ i wanna see more of it akskaosn

The basic concept is that the world is in disarray and has fallen into an apocalypse due to the effects of blot on mages/magical creatures producing more Overblots than ever before, which has forced those living in this new world to adapt and evolve in order to survive. This means building strong, sturdy compounds and using any means necessary to stay afloat (moral compasses are very skewed and corrupt in this au). Additionally, since women are now seen as a precious resource, they are kept within the compounds for the sake of reproduction. There are seven major compounds: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia, all with their own sets of regulations, traditions, and ways of living. Noble Bell is technically a compound of its own, with Rollo as the leader, and RSA also counts as a compound. But we haven't touched much on both yet!

I will link all of the discussions that have taken place with this au so that you can read more! :D

✧ dorm compounds

✧ bride selection (idia & azul)

✧ information about the husband selection

✧ bride selection (jade)

✧ husband selection (floyd)

✧ husband selection (malleus)

✧ mute bride (azul)

✧ darling who avoids bride selections

✧ husband floyd

✧ gentle non-con with riddle

✧ riddle (un)willingly sharing darling with azul

[baeshijima]

when you have a crisis over whether or not a kiss scene is needed to make the yearning and reunion and pent up emotions that much more meaningful or if it is better to have them commit small fleeting touches and nuzzles and trembling eyes and

[varyathevillain]

Sebastian Vael would've been such a better character for the Dragon Age fandom to enjoy if in act 3 instead of the shitty "here, have a Leliana cameo and another proof there's Blood Magic Everywhere in Kirkwall, go fetch!" quest, we had a different one.

Let's say... Hawke has an option of investigating a weird deal between a chantry sister and a Starkhaven diplomat, and during it you uncover that the chantry has been embezzling from Starkhaven's treasury, as well as putting "former chantry members" (read: malleable or outright Chantry puppets) in the ruling circle which is currently holding Starkhaven afloat in absence of Sebastian as their Prince.

If Sebastian is not in the party as you uncover this, you have an option to either tell him about it, or investigate the questline further. If he is, however, in the party as you find the first notice of something being wrong between Chantry and Starkhaven relations, Sebastian will exclaim that this is a mistake, someone posing outside (or within) a Chantry to implicate either Starkhaven royalty, or Grand Cleric Elthina, and reference Sister Petrice. The moment you involve him in the questline, however, he'll be locked in for the investigation missions, and start getting special points in the code, one for each encounter (including the very first one starting the questline), for the final confrontation of the questline. The same happens if you start involving Sebastian at any other point of the questline, but with less and less points available.

As you progress, there would be three more quests to go through, one of which even takes you to either the outskirts of Starkhaven, or to the busy streets of it, allowing 1) to show another city state of Free Marches, 2) where Sebastian comes from, 3) actually be worth your money for the DLC, if ideal DA2 still had him as a DLC companion. Which I still hate with burning passion a decision, same with Javik being DLC in ME3.

The questline has chantry sisters and nobles implicated, Flora Harriman reaching out to Hawke about weird decisions made in Starkhaven politics, resembling what her mother did, and at a second quest there's even a possibility of you uncovering a chantry brother in a contract with a Desire demon. It seems like it all leads up to corruption in the political sphere and stragglers in the Chantry circles, right?

Except. On the final quest. It is revealed that Elthina, in her own handwriting, no forgery as confirmed by any rogue in the party, has forced Grand Cleric of Starkhaven to resign, installed her own puppet (one of the chantry sisters you might see in Act 1) as a new Grand Cleric, all for a bid of "uniting the Free Marches under the Chantry banner". It also implies that Sister Petrice was telling the truth, and that Elthina was, in fact, more involved with the unrest against Qunari than one would believe in the base game (I believe she was involved, but it's not majorly pertaining to this post in particular). There's a letter that implies Lady Harimann was allowed to do what she did, because Elthina believed she'd be able to manipulate Sebastian in favour of the Chantry. It also unveils how many people of Starkhaven were hurt by this. Turns out, a lot.

Then, you can go about this questline ending several ways.

This is where the points counting in the background come into play.

If you did not bring Sebastian alongside you on any of the missions, or if there aren't enough points for you to sway him... Sebastian will claim the evidence as plot against his support of the Chantry and Elthina specifically, and burn the letters in particular, calling them a "bad replica of what sister Petrice tried to do". Elthina, on prodding, feigns innocence, or if you have not talked to Sebastian yet, calls him in to discuss "this silly accusation", which gives +15 rivalry if you're not in a locked relationship with him. He still burns the letters, and accuses you of believing the conspirators, or even being one of them. There are some undertones in Elthina's dialogue to imply she's ready to blackmail you back if you press the matter, and Hawke has no choice but to back off.

If you bring Sebastian along and your relationship with him at this point is so-so, neither a full friendship or a rivalry, you'd need at least 3 points with favourable dialogue, this makes Sebastian question the Chantry, even Elthina. You'd need all 4 points (bringing him from the get go in your party when they rock up to the start of the questline) without going further into discussion for him to buckle. With friendship, you'd need to bring him on at least 2 missions, or 3 with favourable dialogue. With rivalry, however, you need for him to be brought only on one mission with favourable dialogue, the final one, after which he'll even say that "You (Hawke) were right about me needing to step up and rule Starkhaven". On two missions if you want to bicker with him throughout the quests instead.

If you would manage to sway Sebastian by the end, you'd have one final choice: support him in standing up and demanding answers from Elthina, or asking him to forgive her involvement.

Supporting him on Friendship is the simplest, but supporting him on Rivalry ends up in Sebastian switching to Friendship, like with Merrill reversing her Friendship in Mirror Image if you don't give her the Arulin'Holm. This ends up in a calmly voiced, but very angry Sebastian Vael, pure venom in his words, listing how Elthina has abused his trust and his people by using faith in the Chantry, and manipulating a Prince of a sovereign nation for her own means. If you supported him on Rivalry, he'll have additional lines on how you've challenged him to see problems with Chantry and Templar order, as well as to come back to Starkhaven, and outright thank you right in front of Elthina, whose eyes will throw daggers in your direction. At the end of the speech, Sebastian will actually start removing pieces of his armour, them clattering to the floor at Elthina's feet, and walk out alongside you out of the Kirkwall chantry.

However, if you ask him to forgive Elthina, he'll have the biggest rivalry (+30) jump in the game if you aren't in a Friendship, and will briefly lash out at you, saying that complacency with his devotion to the Chantry is what got him and his people into this mess. On Rivalry, it's worse. Instead of a calm but angry and vicious reprimand of Elthina's actions, Sebastian will SCREAM at her, throw evidence in her face, and then scream at you on Rivalry for good measure, about how you can't simply forgive someone who would seek ruin his city, and is actively ruining Kirkwall. How he was blind to Elthina's actions, but sees now that blood magic isn't the rot at the city's heart that is dividing the Circle and Templar order, it's Chantry politicians like Elthina. And instead of armour pieces clattering to the ground, they're thrown at the feet of the Andraste statue, while Sebastian outright declares that if Elthina doesn't cease machinations in Starkhaven, he'll rage war against her, specifically, and everyone who would support her. Then, he storms out, alone.

You can insert either a "there's nothing to talk about" with Elthina afterwards in both endings of this form, or promises of Hawke "never holding a position in this city aside from carrying the Amell name".

After that, you can find Sebastian, clad in a new armour (simple, reminiscent of what Alistair wears in his introduction scene in DAO, only with the Starkhaven symbol emblazoned on an archer chest piece), with a box in his arms, on the steps out of Hightown into Lowtown. He jokes about how his whole life in Kirkwall can, at the same time, be put into a small box like this one, and be something world encompassing. After a dialogue, where he tells you he is going to live in a small hovel in Lowtown, since he doesn't want to even see the chantry building, or talk with nobles who'd gladly eat him and people of Starkhaven alive, until the moment Kirkwall unrest is over, since he wants stability for you and your city as well. Also, he'd rather spend money on his people and those in need, not himself.

If romanced, or with certain persuasion options, you can invite him to live with you. You can still try to invite him with a couple of options, but he'll deny them for various reasons. After that, he'd live near the market; or, if you managed to convince him, in Hawke's mansion.

If in a romance, there's a hot makeout scene in the library which fades to black implying a proper sex scene. If not, he'll have amusing additional scenes with other companions, especially other love interests, with a bit of hostility from Isabela and Anders, and a lot of genuine fun from Fenris and Merrill.

When you talk with him alone (at either Lowtown hovel or at home in the Library), Sebastian discusses, on Friendship, how he is still Andrastian, even if Chantry failed him and his, or on Rivalry how he feels that blind devotion blinded him to Chantry mistakes.

Banter between party members also changes, with one dialogue from Merrill implying that Sebastian is now helping refugees and the poor, Fenris talking about his efforts in making an organisation for former templars/chantry members expelled for one reason or another, Anders being surprised at a late night visit where Sebastian covered in blood (not his) brought him herbs and potion flasks as a peace offering, et cetera. There's still tension over Sebastian belief in the Chant and Andraste, but it's not anymore about him having to perform for the Chantry and his public image.

If you don't complete the quest with this ending, Sebastian Vael still demands Anders to be executed, or he'll wage war. But if you do... he confesses that Anders has asked him to warn as many people in Lowtown and Darktown not to come to the Hightown and chantry, but assumed this would be because of Meredith and Orsino outright fighting in front of Elthina, not this... murder.

He will, however, draw his bow and point an arrow at Anders, saying that this was not the answer to help his cause, and Anders needs to pay now. Hawke can allow him to do that, or step in.

In a so-so relationship, if you choose anything else but "I will execute him myself" or relent to Sebastian's demand and let him shoot Anders? Vael will spit at your feet and leave your party and the conflict, resulting in a very similar ending to his character as in the original DA2, just less anti-mage and pro-Chantry.

However, in a Friendship or Rivalry, it's very easy to convince him to still stay at your side and see it through. With his unknowing help, many innocents of Kirkwall were saved, and now he has to stick around to help as well, and to either see Anders pay for his crimes with work and healing, not redemption through martyr-like murder, or to understand that this, inadvertently, would be every city across Southern Thedas, including Starkhaven, if Chantry dogma supported by Templars will continue murder, physical and emotional, of mages. He'll have additional dialogue depending on whether you're a mage Hawke, or if Bethany died/is in Circle.

In Romance, Sebastian will lower his bow immediately as Hawke steps between. You'll have to mess up really badly in dialogue for him to storm out.

[atthebell]

bell I do have a crochet question for you. how do you get better at freehanding things? is it just experience? bc I've been crocheting for a few years now but I still sweat if I can't find a pattern for what I want to make 😭

so my initial answer is just fuck around and find out-- as in just start making stuff, sometimes don't even try for a specific shape, just do stuff and see what shapes you make and get a feel for how increasing and decreasing impact a work, how to incorporate larger stitches (i.e. switch from sc to dc to make one side of the round taller), all that kind of stuff. and maybe try and make something purely based off an image-- as in, no pattern, no fucking clue how to go about it, just go at it and see what you get. it won't always be pretty, but it'll teach you! and practice helps immensely, so you can even just work on things you do have patterns for/know how to make and that will teach you how shapes come together and how to sculpt something (bc that's what amigurumi is, really, just figuring out how to sculpt something with loop & hook-- imo, it's what makes crochet pretty different to other fiber arts, although you can do 3-D stuff with them as well) into what you want.

my other answer is i've been crocheting for thirteen years and i consider myself pretty damn good at it and i still whine and cry when i can't find a pattern for what i want 😭 i think getting really good at tracking stuff down and also sometimes just resigning yourself to having to buy a pattern is really the answer. also, tbh, you can look at how someone else made it and try and replicate that without a pattern-- if you sell stuff, i recommend you still credit the original designer, since you are basing it off their work, but looking at how someone else made something and trying to do the same thing is how a lot of artists build technique. again, don't rip them off entirely, but going "how tf did they make this?" and trying to do something similar can help you learn more about how pieces are put together.

also ravelry, pinterest (if you know how to use it properly and are willing to deal with the spam/clickbait fake pins... bane of my existence), various pattern databases, and, tbh, just rando people's blogs are your best friend. i have a few amigurumi artists where when i'm just absolutely lost, i go on their sites and search up what i'm trying to make to see if they've done it before, and sometimes they have! elisa's crochet has really cute stuff, as does ami amour, and you can find way more people through instagram (the one and only time i will recommend going on that site)

[irregularbillcipher]

going over old fic notes and outlines and character talks with friends and it's always really funny when i get to the stuff i was developing early-mid 2019 where bill just literally kept kryptos around to rag on, and he genuinely just. did not like the man. like was just completely annoyed with his general existence. boy have things changed