#I also see gentle and kind Stolas

[akirathedramaqueen]

You know what I love about this show so much?

The kindness. The understanding. The redemption.

And that's in the setting of fucking Hell. The irony.

The characters are deeply flawed. They make a lot of mistakes. They fuck up even trying to fix things.

But they are trying. They have a lot of virtues, too, even though they don't see them themselves. They slowly but surely process their problems. They work around their trauma and the conditions they were raised in, deeply affected by it, hurting but still powering through, learning, and developing.

Although we are far from the end of these characters' journey, the SpindleHorse team does an amazing job of making these characters sympathetic, believable, and real. They give you the information and the opportunity to understand how complicated things are, how both sides of the conflict can be understood and blamed at the same time.

And the main thing? The forgiveness and redemption. You want these characters to do better, to be better, of course. But you also want them to be loved, despite the fact that what they did was obviously wrong.

You, as the viewer, already forgive them, and you just want them to forgive themselves. To allow themselves to be loved.

When I watched the show and saw them making the same mistakes I did, some horrible things I wouldn’t forgive myself for and struggled with for years, I suddenly understood the struggle. I empathized with them. I wanted to give them a hug. I wanted to comfort them and promise that things would get better and encourage them to give it one more try, one more talk. I wanted to scold them for self-loathing because I know all too well the kinds of dark places it can lead you to sometimes.

And then the thought comes to mind, "Can I afford a bit of this empathy for myself too? Just allow myself to live with the fuckup and allow myself to be human?"

It didn't fix me. But it eased my turmoil and taught me to understand it better. It taught me some empathy, too, and I thought I was the one with the emotional ingelligence of a nightstand. Well, I still kinda am, but at least I learned to listen to people sometimes.

I just want to thank the whole team who worked on Helluva Boss for all the self-reflections I experienced with their creation.

Thank you.

[idkirdkok]

I don't know why some people blame stolas for how things went...He literally just confessed that he has feelings for blitz and, from his pov, not only got rejected and got the impression that it's always been only a sex thing (he saw blitz write it off as a sexual roleplay and even jokingly said "i love you sooo much" man,,,that must've hurt), he also GOT YELLED AT and INSULTED, in the same fashion his toxic, abusive ex used to constantly do and it was the first time he actually heard how blitz thinks of him.

WE as the audience know it's blitz' defense mechanism because he went through a lot of shit, that he actually wanted to Talk about it (and he did talk (or tried to, at least). He asked for a minute ro think/process and actually said how he feels, that's a great improvement. He also immediately tried to apologize once he realized stolas didn't yell back at him and that his words actually hurt stolas. I'm not blaming him at all. He has his own shitload of reasons and trauma for why he reacted the way he did), but stolas didn't know all that. His pov is dry ass responses to his texts, and blitz not showing up to neither save him nor visit him in the hospital. He saw blitz treat his confession as a joke, and then yell at him for "dropping this feelings bullshit" on him (again, WE know it's because Blitz thinks so low of himself that he convinced himself it must be a joke, and that someone like stolas couldn't possibly genuinely like someone like him). Then basically got told he's a terrible person. It's all too much to deal with.

I think had Blitz been more gentle in saying all those instead of kicking the door and yelling, it probably wouldn't have gone as bad as it did. Stolas literally FLINCHED when blitz yelled and called him a bitch. So yeah, they needed to have a longer, two sided convo, he should've heard blitz out, should have given the poor guy some time to process everything before making a decision. BUT!! he can't be blamed for not doing that, it was a hard fucking moment for him.

I also think the reason he immediately teleported Blitz away instead of waiting to hear his apology was not solely because it was the first time he realized how Blitz views him, but also because Blitz unknowingly confirmed what Stolas was worried about. "If he's only here as a prisoner, then what kind of monster does that make me?" And then Blitz went and called him a rich, pompous asshole who thinks he's more important than others.

Man...I can't wait to see what happens in apology tour

Tl;dr: neither of them are fully right or fully wrong. They both reacted based on their own circumstances, trauma and assumptions

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Charlie, Alastor, God, Lucifer, Lilith, Vox, and Stolas with the Grim reaper reader. He's a total sweetheart and a gentleman, plus the kind of has dead animals follow him around. They're kind of like his pets. He also believes in Charlie's cause.

You'll be the end of me

Charlie

"Do you really think it could work?"

Charlie asked softly, leaning on your shoulder as you stared out at Pentagram city.

It was early morning, you having found your love sat out on the balcony, watching thr sunrise, you quickly accompanying her.

Holding the young lady close, her gentle form against your own, you just hummed, gently petting her hair.

"Well, I've seen a lot in my, well, not life." That got a chuckle from the both of you. "But I've been sheparding souls down here for millennia... never had to shepard one up from Hell though."

You sat in silence for a long time, it clear Charlie was disappointed with your answer.

"But..." You spoke up, smiling softly. "If its you... I have no doubt."

Charlie smiled warmly at your words, leaning in to share a kiss.

Pulling back you just enjoyed the moment, the two of you so rarely got to just be together.

No hotel buisness.

No staff or guests butting in.

No Nifty trying to draw erotica of the two of you.

Just you.

You holding the young lady close, expressing your love for her in soft, simple ways.

You got to share that moment for a long while, making a memory you were sure to cherish when suddenly the sound of gentle wings fluttering caught your attention.

Looking down, you extended a hand, a small skeletal bird landing on your finger.

You gently whistled back, Charlie doing the same, the bird looking over the both of you before fluttering away, the gentle creature off to do whatever it pleased.

You sat there for a long time, listening to the gentle chaos, the sounds of havoc at a distance as Hell endured its Hellish state, the teo of you just enjoying the moment.

With a sombre sigh you stood up, stretching your back you turned to her, pulling her to her feet.

Holding her close, you'd gently cup her face.

"I'm sorry my dear." You spoke with a warm smile, before you shared another kiss.

"It'll be morning soon, and well, you know souls won't Shepard themselves."

Charlie was clearly disappointed, as she always was when you had to leave.

"I understand." She spoke softly, the two of you standing there for a long minute.

"You know I'll be back tomorrow." You assured her, though it was clear it wasn't necessary.

"I know." She spoke warmly. The two of you sharing one last, loving embrace.

You'd turn, watching as the pentagram sun slowly rose on the horizon.

"See you this evening?" Charlie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

And so, as you held each other close, you watched the sun rise, and sharing one final kiss, you'd disappear with the morning sun.

Charlie just smiled as you turned into a swarm of butterflies, fluttering off into the air, disappearing with the sunlight

Unnecessarily, but you felt it was a poetic exit for, well, death.

Charlie just chuckled.

"Drama queen." She spoke softly, watching you disappear.

Alastor

Alastor hummed softly, the dapper demon sat in his room as he listened to a pleasant tune.

It'd be as he sipped his tea, the man about to turn a page when a voice suddenly cut in.

"Weeeeeee'll meet again."

"Don't know where. Don't know when."

"But weee'll meet again, some sunny morn'."

Looking up he'd find you, dressed in your usually dapper if dark attire.

Alastor's smile grew, the man quickly rising to his feet.

With a warm smile of your own, you pulled the man into a gentle kiss.

"Hello dear, good day at work?" He asked, always eager to hear of your daily duties.

You just smiled, walking forwards, leaning down to kiss the man.

"A wonderful morning, but we even better evening darling."

You purred, kissing he cheek.

You spent a few minutes speaking back and forth, your hand warmly placed to his cheek as you spoke back and forth.

Youd joke and laugh, voice gentle as you discussed your day apart. Alastor letting you know the chaos he'd caused, you just listening as he went into a performer's detail of the events.

Pulling the man to his feet, you'd dip the man, smirking as you leaned in, Alastor wearing a strained, if entertained grin.

"I've wanted to do this all day."

Biting the man's neck, Alastor couldn't help the moan as you pulled him close.

Flushed, the man would smack you.

"That's was a dirty move." The demon frowned.

You just smiled, kissing the man softly. "You know I love you, especially when your blushing~"

Alastor blushed hard as you snapped your fingers, a jumping tune bumping from the nearby radio.

You pulled the man into a suave little dance, the two of you jumping and jiving like it were 1922 all over again.

You spent a good few minutes dancing and singing, holding the man close as you enjoyed your tune.

Holding him close, the both of you breathed heavily.

"That's a dirty trick." He huffed, breathing deep, that smirk he always wore on his face faltering, his cheeks dark with demonic red. "You know I can't turn down a chance to dance."

You just smirked, holding him to your chest, leaning in to kiss his neck.

"You know, if you weren't death incarnate, I'd put you in your place."

You just smirked, leaning back to tease his chin, smirking down at him.

"Out of all the souls in Hell, you... well, your certainly the most interesting."

That earned you a smack on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright." You giggled. "You are by far the most intersting. You know I adore you."

That earned you a genuine smile from the grinning demon.

Alastor always smiled, but in the arms of you, well, death. How could he not feel particularly smug.

"... I love you, my dapper radio darling."

That got a smirk from the man.

"And I love you... my dapper incarnation of Death.... even as you pretend to be otherwise."

The both of you chuckled, holding each other close, nuzzling your nose to the other.

"Love you darling."

Lucifer

Lucifer, Fallen angel, failed king of Hell and failing father, sat in his workshop.

The man furiously working on his next duck toy, the Devil furiously working on the next plastic squeaker, dead to the world outside.

"Having fun?" You asked, manifesting besides him.

Lucifer frize, thr Demon King breathing deeply.

"Im... good." He hummed, working on the duck.

The two of you stood in silence for several minutes, the air not quite tense, but words clearly sat unspoken.

"... I missed you." He finally spoke up placing his duck to the side, the King of Hell sitting there.

You simply stepped forwards, picking up the squeaky toy, looking it over.

Squeaking the rubber duck repeatedly, the man looked up, finding you sat on an armchair, looking over the toy before turning to him, gently patting your lap.

Lucifer sat there for a moment, taking a deep breath before getting up and walking over to you, collapsing in your lap.

You immediately pull him close, as the two of you sat there, the king of Hell nuzzling under your chin.

"I missed you... a lot..." he spoke, emotions thick in his voice as he pressed his face into your chest.

You just pulled him close, smiling softly as you warmly kissed his golden locks.

"I missed you too my Fallen Angel." You hummed, hand playing with his heair, you other holding him close.

"It was bad today." He spoke softly, you simply looking down at him.

"You know we could always visit her, I'm sure Charlie would be-"

Lucifer cut you off, pulling from your grasp as he stood up.

"I... I wont put this on her..." He spoke sombrely, the King of Hell hunched over, holding himself.

You just sighed softly, gently waving a hand as 3 little ghost duckling appeared, the ethereal little quackers, Lucifer smiling as he held a hand out, the ducks nuzzling his palm.

He had a way with your duck spirits, the feathered little ghosts naturally flocking to him. It always brought a smile to your face.

After a moment however, a new set of quacks break out, the duckling quickly swimming off, the duckling meeting with a larger duck, the three nuzzling its form as they happily swam about.

You sat up, pulling the short king back into your chest, smiling warmly as you kissed his head.

"You trust me with your issues... why not your daughter... we both love you."

Lucifer sighed, eyes lingering on the ethereal ducks as the papa duck nuzzled one of the ducklings. The king sighing, the King of Sins wiping his eyes.

"Alright. I... suppose we could go see her." He spoke softly, the man leaning back against you.

You just smiled softly, rubbing the back of his head as you stood there. The two of you just stood there, holding each other close, a soft, yet hopeful energy filling the room.

"I love you my dark rose." Lucifer purred.

"And I love you, my Fallen Angel." you smiled, the two of you sharing a tender kiss, a warmth in both your dark hearts.

Lilith

Lilith sat back on the beach, sighing softly as she enjoyed her slice of heaven.

The woman sipped her drink, book in hand as she hummed, a sombreness filling her on this particular day.

You appeared besides her, watching the sun set.

"Been a while." She spoke coldly, eyes not rising from her book.

"Yeah... sorry... I know it's been a while, Ive been very busy. Lots to do... my duties and, well, Charlie."

That made her pause, the woman freezing as she was about to flip a page.

"... How is she?" Lilith spoke cooly, keeping her poker face.

You hummed, a soft smile adorning your features.

"She... she's doing well." You spoke softly, cane resting in your hand as you watched the waves, a gentle smile crossing your face as a few ghostly fish jumped from the water, the small school happily swimming, free of worry.

"She's got a hotel now. She... she's trying to help people. Souls." You spoke sombrely, the woman doing her best to stay cool and collected.

You'd sigh, softly sitting on her beach chair, turning to her before gently reaching out and removing her sunglasses.

"Ya know, if your just gonna ignore me the whole time, it doesn't make much sense for you to get mad when I don't visit for a while."

You were teasing more then anything, the woman looking up at you with a cocked brow.

"Look, I get your mad." You spoke, taking her hand into yours. "But I'm here, and I'd like to enjoy my time with you while i have it... please?"

You finished sweetly, kissing her hand.

Lilith would sit in silence for several moments before sighing, the woman shaking her head.

"You always know just what to say, don't you?" She asked playfully.

You just smiled, reaching out to cup her face.

"I've got some experience consoling people." You told her warmly, bringing her hand up to kiss her palm.

"Will you accompany me?" She asked, clearly worried.

You just chuckled, nodding your head.

"You know I'd never leave your side... well, at least when I'm off the clock."

That got a chuckle from Lilith, the two of you just basking in Heavens twilight. You more interested in watching the spirits jump through the water, happy to see them happy.

Vox

Vox grymbled, rubbing his TV face he, slumping back in his chair he lazily stared at the dozens of screens.

He'd grumble, growling to himself.

Hed endured a long fucking day, dealing with Val and Velvette, being left alone with the pair, the two bickering like children as he somehow found the time go manage his media empire.

He'd sit there, looking over important things, sipping his particularly strong cup of coffee when your voice suddenly cut in.

"You know, you keep slouching like that and you'll resemble a question mark more than a Television, right."

Vox perked right up, head snapping to you as you stood besides him. Dapper as ever.

It was well known by this point that you could appear or disappear without signalling his alarms, something that both impressed and frustrated the media mogul to no end.

"Mmmm, I'll keep that in mind." He hummed, loudly slurping his coffee.

You just chuckled, rolling your eyes. "You know, if your gonna be all salty, I might just not give you your gift."

At that Vox perked right up, the man subtly turning to you.

It was a dirty move on your part, but you knew Vox loved gifts and this was the fastest way to get him over his grudge or grump.

He'd never admit as much, but you did get him the best gifts out of everyone he knew, which was a feat in and of itself, so you knew how to use it to your advantage.

"...What ya get me?"

He asked, trying to be subtle as he gave you the side eye.

To which you just chuckled, fixing your attire, acting casual as you glanced down at the man.

You'd just casually look around his large lab, the various screens showing his sophisticated spying network on the various denizens of Hell.

With a cheeky smile you snapped your fingers, a poof of black smoke and a box landed on Vox's lap.

The Television headed demon released a giddy giggle as he tore his gift open, the man pulling it out victoriously.

He'd yank it out, holding it up to reveal a walking stick, looking it over it was clearly made with human bone.

"This... is cool and all but, well, why the bone?" He asked, looking up at you suspiciously.

You'd just smile, stepping forwards, falling onto his lap, sliding it from his hands, you'd tell him simply.

"Well, ya see, I made this lil beauty using the bones from one Mr. Philo Farnsworth."

You spoke casually, looking over the cane.

"Aaand... that means something to me why?"

He asked, clearly waiting for the punchine.

To which you'd chuckle, biting your lip a little before you'd gently bop him on the head with the cane.

"Beeecaaause, one Mr. Philo Farnsworth, was none other then the inventor one Televeision."

You finished with a satisfied little grin, holding the cane out to him.

Vox snatched the vane up, laughing maniacly as he pulled the cane back, staring at the gift.

"Ohohohohoh fuck yeah~" He laughed, staring at the cane.

"Sooo~" you began playfully. "Have I made up for the inexcusable sin of ignoring your calls to a phone I don't have?"

At that Vox popped up, staring at you.

"Wait, what?" He asked, genuinely perplexed by your statement.

You just smiled, raising a bow. "My job doesnt exactly allow mobile coverage darling, far too busy peading souls through the etherial planes."

Vox furrowing his none existent brow, frowing slightly.

"Then who the fuck have I been texting?"

At that you broke into laughter, Vox quickly joining you, the two of you sat there, laughing like idiots as the Techno Overlord held you close, the two of you sharing a warm kiss, the two of you sat there for several moments, Vox sighing softly.

"You have to work again?" He asked sombrely, looking up to show a screen watching the setting sun.

You just sighed, nodding your head. "You know I have too. No vacations for me."

Vox just sighed, nodding his head.

Reaching up, you'd cup his cheek, leaking in to kiss his screen.

"Lets just enjoy the time we have."

Vox just smiled, holding you close, the two of you enjoying your moment together, free from both of your perpetual burdens.

[tealvenetianmask]

Hell's royalty has a culture that enables Stella's abusive behavior.

Point 1: Keeping up appearances is valued above all else. And I specifically mean the appearance of things being the way they're supposed to be. Conformity basically.

Conformity in this culture seems to include a kind of stoic dignity ("you know excitement is unbecoming of a goetia"), an air of superiority ("don't bow to that one- he bows to us!"), and, of course, some good old fashioned toxic masculinity ("cease this bitch crying").

Individuals at the very top are not immune. Even though he gets past it, Asmodeus seems to spend a lot of time and effort on keeping his relationship with Fizz quiet in order to keep up the appearance of fulfilling his "lust" role.

Point 2: The members of the aristocracy who don't conform are seen as the problem, not the members who are being cruel.

Speaking of Ozzie, there's a chance he'll face real consequences for getting out of line . . . Mammon seems pretty confident about getting revenge. Also, if Ozzie had decided that his reputation was important enough to avoid stepping in to help his partner, well . . . I'm just saying. Cultures of conformity create bystanders who stand by and let abuse happen. So it's good that this guy has the courage (and a good heap of privilege and power) to enable him to step out. Yes, I realize that the crowd at Mammon's celebrated Ozzie and Fizz, but the crowd was distinctly NOT aristocratic.

Now look at Stella's party- this woman is not subtle about being cruel to her husband.

She calls the party a "Not Divorced" party. She openly talks negatively about Stolas in a blatant attempt to humiliate him. She's not trying to hide that she hates the man.

Because he's . . . an oddball. Gentle, not as polished as others in his social sphere, awkward and mostly friendless, probably autistic. And importantly, I think, not traditionally masculine.

So Stella has no need to hide that she treats him poorly. She's proud of it. And her social circle seems to support her in it, or at least, they don't push back. Because based on the aristocracy's unspoken (or if we look at Paimon, very much spoken) value system, Stolas's failure to fulfill all of his expected roles gracefully is worse than Stella's cruelty.

Point 3: Stolas's parenting, while much better than his own father's, still reflects this value system in some ways, and that's . . . complicated.

In some ways, Octavia is doing great. She has her own interests (music! gothy fashion!) that don't seem to be based on any role prescribed to her by others. She has a genuine bond with her dad that's based on care and not on molding her into some ideal princess.

But Stolas still puts on an facade in front of Via. We know that he pretended things were fine when they distinctly weren't for most of her childhood. We could argue endlessly about whether Stolas was right (as Georgia Dow explained in her video) or wrong to stop himself from explaining the situation with Stella to Via in Loo Loo Land, but honestly, the man could let his nearly grown up daughter know that abuse was happening without all out trauma dumping. It would enable her to make more informed decisions, and I think she would want to be able to do that.

Instead, Stolas keeps it to himself. Because he feels like Via SHOULD have this picture perfect childhood. Look at the pictures that are up in his palace. Look at his attempt to gloss over the fighting in the household by taking Via to an idealized childhood destination.

A part of him still thinks that good parenting is keeping up appearances, and that the ugly things are best kept hidden. Look at how hard he still tries to avoid crying in front of people. The values he was taught as a child are part of him.

And while it's not his fault (it's Stella's fault, obviously- these are HER actions), his inability to be open allows Stella and Andrealphus to scheme and (we'll see . . .) probably manipulate Via because of her lack of knowledge.

We're meant to see the moments where Stolas breaks expectations and behaves raw and even a little unhinged as triumphant. Sleeping with Blitz. That is the sound of a fucking divorce. Actually going through with the fucking divorce. Insisting on it. Appearances be damned.

And yeah, more of that please. Because if the people around Stella stop caring about aristocratic social trappings, all she'll have going for her is her shitty personality.

Thanks @akirathedramaqueen for inspiring this post with a conversation.

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

Because I Love Foils, I Thought I'd Ramble a Bit about This

I adore how much Striker and Blitz are the same person- or could have been. You take two people who both are angry, angry boys. They have a lot of hurt, a lot of rage, a lot of self-loathing, a lot of bitterness. They've lost and suffered at the hands of the people around them and the people above them. They've both lost someone or someones they care about. And this is where things diverge. Blitz found Moxxie and Millie. He got Loona. He made a little found family and they wrapped themselves around him as morality chains. I firmly believe that Moxxie has set himself up as the heart of this little team; he's the softest of the four of them, and despite the absolute piss they take out of him we've also seen that no one is allowed to fuck with him. (Seriously fuck with him- Blitz makes no move to stop him from being messed with in Harvest Moon Festival because while Striker is a dick to Moxxie, it's ultimately harmless shit-talking and I strongly think Blitz is of the opinion that Moxxie is enough of his own person to bite back if it gets to be too much. But in Truthseekers and Ex's and Oh's, we see fierce protectiveness from both Millie and Blitz.) Blitz saved him. I believe it went the other way, as well. Blitz is also clearly quite close to Millie. Whatever and whoever else in Blitz's life hurt him, failed him, gave up on him, walked away from him when he got too hard, too much, pushed hard enough- Millie and Moxxie have stayed. And they- and Loona- have given him people to care for, protect, and keep him humble. Er, sort of humble anyway- he is still Blitz. Striker, however, has had none of that as far as we know. Just himself. Just his thoughts. His anger. His hate. His hurt. Stewing. Growing. He wallows in it. It grows. People show him why they suck. He wallows in it. It grows. People show him why they suck. He wallows in it- -And there is no one to offset it. No one to make him laugh, to get him out of his own thoughts. No I'll be there, dad. No stupid fridge jokes. No unspoken understandings, stupid jokes, nights out, no one at all to care for. No one to rely on him. Blitz has a support network, even if he's not always aware of it. Fizzie forgave him. Moxxie and Millie and Loona love him. Stolas is...something. Something complicated and hard and scary but something that, ultimately, has been good, up until Western Energy/Full Moon ish time- and even then, Stolas has been shown to be gentle. Silly. Kind. He loves his daughter. He laughs at Blitz's jokes. He's far, far from perfect, but he's not Paimon. He's not Mammon. He's not Stella. Striker has Striker. And all that hate, all that self loathing, all that hurt and rage and sorrow- it's building and building and building. Both Blitz and Striker are headed, rapidly, for rock-bottom. They are shaken. They are struggling. I'm sick of losin' these fights. I destroy everything. I make everyone's lives worse. Except, again, here we diverge. I don't want to be this way. Not forever. Blitz has people he loves. Blitz loves. Deeply. Ferociously. So, so hard with all his heart. He has people around him he values like gold, people he wants to keep safe, people he wants to love him- he just can't see why they ever would. Blitz has something besides the hurt and the anger and the sorrow. Blitz has people to say no, look, stop, come up for air, think. Blitz has people who show him why it's worth it to claw your way out of the spiral. Blitz has people who need him. So while they're both cracking, Blitz will become kintsugi- cracked, broken, but with gold holding him together, stronger and more beautiful for the flaws and cracks he has overcome, no longer what he was, maybe, but something new. Striker, meanwhile, has no one to help pick up his peices and reform them. He will just. Break. Shatter. And his shards will slice everyone and everything near him. What could Blitz have been if, flap of the butterfly's wings, if anything had been...just a little different?

Easy. He could have been Striker. Fuck it. I'm in.

[larriescompass]

guys i met brandon again today and it was absolutely amazing. i walked up to his booth and said hello, then i told him that i met him at supercon and i was the one who got the tattoo of the smiley face, and he immediately asked to see it again. so i knelt down and moved my shoe and sock out of the way to reveal it and he was sooo happy to see it. he pointed out the attention to detail and how the artist was able to preserve the sharpie markings. he also talked about how it looked different last time he saw it, how it was bloody and inky and stuff. he then called over the table assistant person who controlled the sales and told them to look at my tattoo. what i find so sweet is that he was telling the person about it and then said “and they got it tattooed” like he just uses gender neutral pronouns for everyone and i think that’s so sweet and respectful of him. we were both knelt down just having a conversation about my tattoo, then we got back up and he signed the bryce print for me!!! then i brought up class acts and how the last episode was absolutely incredible, and he then told me that the last episode had the most amount of extras he’s ever had in a video, and i asked him if it was from when he went to philly and he immediately went “yeah! were you there?” and i told him that i wasn’t lolll (i just follow him closely on insta). i also asked him a question, but i prefaced by saying that i didn’t know if he was allowed to tell me and he was automatically intrigued loll. i asked if we would ever see blitzø in human form, like how stolas has his human form and he joked and said that he couldn’t say anything bc a red dot would basically form on his forehead from viv’s secret sniper that she has kajdidjdi. overall, he’s genuinely such a sweet and gentle person, he has such kindness in his eyes when he’s speaking to fans. he’s always so genuine and so so incredibly engaging. since the line was really long, he kept going to the middle of it and thanking everyone for their patience as well. i absolutely adore him with every bone in my body, and i am so grateful to have been able to speak to him as many times as a i have 💞

[blitzosicedcoffee]

Ficlet-Learning To Be Gentle

Making another ficlet while laying in bed cause I wanna write but I'm also exhausted.

Enjoy!

Timeline: Post Season 2, Bruised from the fight at his palace with Andrealphus, Stolas has lost everything and is brought back to Blitz's apartment.

Blitz pushes open the stuck door with his whole body, using his whole weight to push the dumb rusted hinges. The sudden opening of the door doesn't phase Stolas as he stares at the ground, hugging himself, feeling so very out of place here.

Blitz gestures in and when Stolas doesn't move, he hesitantly takes his hand and pulls him in slowly, Stolas letting him. Then Blitz closes the front door.

Stolas looks around but doesn't want to take in much right now, all he does take in is that it's extremely small. Of course, they're an imp and hellhound. But, he can only see three rooms. The one they're in, the restroom, and a room with many signs on it.

Blitz gestures to the couch that's beat up and rubs the back of his neck, clearly nervous as well. They haven't said a word to one another since he brought him home. But Blitz would never let him stay on the street, or ask another Goetia that barely knows him. No chance.

Blitz rubs his hands and heard Loona 's music and walks over to her door, cracking it open.

"Hey uh, we have a guest in the living room. Do you mind handing me some of your extra pillows and blankets, the floor cot you take for sleepovers, and your largest shirt?" He asks and she tilts his head, peeking behind him and widening her eyes at Stolas's defeated owl eyes and bruised face, "Oh. Yeah I'll throw them all out in a sec".

Blitz smiles, "Thanks Loonie". "No sweat", she says.

She does throw them out, right at Blitz and he growls a little as they make him fall over then he carries it all over to the space in front of the couch, collapsing it all and setting up the cot with the pillows and blankets, and handing Stolas the shirt.

Stolas holds up the oversized Verosika mayday shirt, "What's this for?" He asks. Blitz chuckles, seeing which one she picked. Of course that one.

"For you to sleep in", he replies. Stolas blinks and hesitantly takes off his clothes that admittedly feel great to peel off, sweat sticking to the fabric and his feathers. But before he puts it on he pauses.

"Could I uhm...do you have a shower?" He asks and Blitz chuckles, "Of course we have a shower what do you th-nevermind. In here", Stolas follows him to the restroom and Blitz pulls him to crouch down by the hand to make sure he doesn't hit his head on the doorframe. Then he realizes Stolas is already naked and blushes, biting his lip. He quickly digs in the closet and pulls out a folded towel and hands it to him, "Take as much time in there as you need".

Stolas nods as Blitz closes the door, giving him privacy. He takes a deep breath and prepares to squish himself in this small and messy shower, already missing his rain shower at home. A home that's no longer his. He tries to pull back tears but as the water hits his chest they fall and he starts to sob.

Blitz looks to the bathroom door with a pained expression as Loona escapes her room for a moment to grab a soda.

"I thought you two weren't sympatico at the moment", she asks, opening the can. Blitz hugs himself, "Well...it's..complicated", he rubs his arms, feeling goosebumps from thinking about just how complicated it is.

"Well, if he's going through a hard time you better be gentle with him", she says. He blinks, "Gentle..?" and looks back at her but she's already back in her room, and he looks back to the bathroom door. He drops his arms and heads into the kitchen, starting a kettle of hot water while he hears Stolas finishing up.

Stolas comes out and shivers himself, rubbing his own arms.

"Got just the thing for that", Blitz says, handing him one of his horse mugs of tea and dropping two sugar cubes in it. Stolas manages a small smile, "Thank you. What kind?" He asks. Blitz's mouth forms a line, "Kind?"

"Kind of tea, dear?" He asks again, sitting on the couch and Blitz sits next to him, pulling a blanket over both their legs. Well, most of Stolas's legs.

"Uh...black? Its the only kind Loonie had. Sorry" he replies, starting to flip through the channels.

Stolas sips it, "That's alright. I don't think I can sleep tonight anyway".

"Yeah it's been a long day. Do you wanna watch a movie? Doesn't have to be something serious. We can just turn our brains off and watch something", Blitz asks and goes to put his hand on Stolas's thigh, bringing him out of his dissociation.

"What? Oh, sure", he replies and looks back down at his tea. Watching the sugar melt the rest of the way.

Blitz wonders if Stolas blames him for losing everything. It wouldn't be the first time he's made someone he loves lose everything.

"What about this uh- sappy romance movie?" He asks Stolas and taps his thigh gently again, "Stols? You there?"

Stolas hesitantly looks up, "Hmm? Sure. I thought you didn't like rom coms".

Blitz smirks, "I can be swayed for the right person".

Stolas blushes and looks away, continuing sipping his tea as Blitz presses play.

They start the movie and Stolas pulls Blitz's legs over his lap for more warmth. Blitz wrapping his tail around his leg too.

"I-is that alright?" He asks Stolas and he nods, and Blitz takes that as enough of a sign to lean his head on Stolas's shoulder as well. This shit movie was actually pretty funny, as well as warranting "Awws" from Stolas every few minutes.

At the end of the movie, Blitz goes to reach for the remote only to be stuck in place by a sleeping owl. And suddenly his sleeping coos are obvious. He looks up at him and smiles, kissing his cheek gently, and curling up closer to him to attempt to fall asleep as well.

[theophagie]

Power play is already a thing that Blitz and Stolas do but do we think that their respective issues and traumas would ever allow them to switch and manage to turn this into a scene without someone getting triggered real bad at some point......

Like would they be willing to give it a try once everything is settled. Yeaaagg. But would it go well is the question...

[Note: "switch" here is used specifically in the bdsm way. Please. Please can we learn that - while there can be and often is an overlap between them - top/bottom/vers and dom/sub/switch are different things, and they don't necessarily equal each other in a 1:1 way. Yes Blitz is well acquainted with Stolas' strap whilst still mostly being the top in their relationship, no who tops or bottoms in this hypothetical situation isn't The Point, here I'm referring to them switching up their established dom!Blitz/sub!Stolas dynamic specifically (easy mode), and doing it in a way that they may or may not even be able to handle (or handle particularly well) (hard mode). Anyway]

Imo future/post-character development Blitz might, might, Maybe be able to play the game or at least fake if until he makes it if the stars align, and as long as he has ten thousand prior reassurances and hours of vulnerability and conversation on his back... Maybe. But even with these same precautions in place for himself, I don't think that Stolas would manage to pull if off at all kek. Like I do think that he could and would enjoy domming too as well, just. not this kind of domming...

Ultimately I think that the difference between them is.

I do think that Blitz does genuinely enjoy dominance and finds it really fun (it makes him go a little silly-ier even) mind you, but under a few hundred levels of bravado, self-hatred, sarcasm, insecurity, etc, his little wounded heart very much also craves for the chance to open itself up to someone so that it can finally let everything pour out and be vulnerable and little weepy and a lot less restrained, which is something that puts him on a good road towards submission (and tbh in my humble opinion current Blitz is already halfway-if-not-more there). The guy really needs someone he loves to take the wheel and let him sit back and take everything that they can give him man... But while a scene like ⬆️ might be Too Much, I do think that some part of him would also be eager to see if maybe it'd be possible for him and Stolas to reframe those early days of their relationship together, to turn all that hurt and uncertainty and uncomfortabless into something that he'd be in control of now, something that could be fun if indulged like this

Stolas on the other hand is kind of "stereotypical" in the sense that this is a guy with a lot of power in his hands (both metaphorically and not), but who's also always been expected to have everything together and be responsible for everyone and everything his whole life (and who very much internalised this notion), so when you see him going off about getting ravished or commanded you go "makes sense, it allows him to let loose" (and it fits that he's kinda bratty about it. princey prince). But for how imperious or insensitive he can be when it comes to his station, because of their history and his fears and insecurities I think that he'd be hesitant about domming Blitz exactly because he wouldn't feel comfortable with consciously wielding that power over him, not even as play (unless he could go about it in a playful or gentle way I think, nothing stern or mean or anything), with a scene like ⬆️ possibly toeing the line between "I'm not into it but I can try" and "ABORT⚠️"

Regardlesssss. Having hard boundaries isn't a bad thing or a personal failure, sometimes things go wrong and knowing how to navigate that is a whole other set of requirements. And it's interesting to think about them doing just that together 💜

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Please, Please, Please

Fandom: Helluva Boss Summary: Blitz carefully folded up the last envelope and set it down on top of all the paperwork he had done over the last few days. The others hung heavy in his pocket as he prepared to deliver them and then make it to his final destination. He hoped the words didn't ring as hollow to the recipient as they did in his mind, that they brought some comfort and closure for the horrible things he had done. Warnings: Suicide attempt, heavy angst, rape mentions, abuse mentions, mental health crisis, and suicide notes Word Count: 18,452 Ship(s): Blitzo Buckzo/Verosika Mayday

Archive link!

A/N: Just like with all of my more recent Helluva fics, this is not Stolas Goetia friendly! I am of the opinion that he is an entitled, spoiled, racist raping abuser and has damaged Blitz unforgivably. This fic will represent those opinions, so if that's not your jam then you should just move on and let me have my fun. I hope that those of you who want to read this have a good time! I also love this song for Verosika and Blitz, it's so them and their toxicness. I want them to hurt each other into getting better lol. Thank you all so much for reading! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

1. Moxxie and Millie

 It was clear that an argument had been happening between the spouses about something serious before they had entered into their office, but the hostile attitude was towards the topic at hand and not each other.

“I don’t know, Mox, it’s not normal for the boss to just disappear and not answer his phone when it comes to work,” Millie huffed. She had her hands on her hips as she talked, mimicking the way that her sister moved when she was sassing someone. The two of them had been spending a lot more time together, and it was honestly interesting for her husband to see the way that they were becoming a cohesive being instead of two entirely separate people. He wondered how unbearable they were when they went to school together if this was how close they were when they were adults. 

“He just left us waiting on the fucking street for an hour, Millie,” Moxxie countered. He was upset and his voice was risen just a bit, but that was mostly because of the tone. He would never, ever yell at his wife no matter what.

“If this was a hang out or something then yeah, I would agree. It’s just strange for Blitz to abandon his business after all the work that he put into it,” Millie said.

“Blitz is completely irresponsible! You remember the massive load of paperwork that he gave me to do? Half of it was unintelligible and I found at least six different drawings of horses on it!” Moxxie rambled. 

“He does the important paperwork,” she said as she waved her hand dismissively at her husband. When she saw the way that his bottom lip was pouting out at her, she leaned over and gave his cheek a gentle kiss. “I’m sure that the two of you will work it out, you always do. You’re basically brothers anyway.”

“I don’t think that I want to be Blitz’s brother, things with his sister apparently didn’t go well at all,” Moxxie commented as he took the bag from his wife. He set it down on his desk and then began to unpack his things before he handed it back over to her.

“Thank you, baby,” she said. She began to do the same thing that her husband had done so that she had her waterbottle and all the other tools she would need for the day laid out in front of her. She then tilted her head to the side and asked, “Baby, was that letter on your desk before? I don’t think that we usually have to deal with the junk mail that the office gets.

Moxxie looked to what she was referring to and then jerked back like it was some kind of loaded gun or python. “He’s making me deal with the junk mail too?” he shouted. He reached for the letter and flipped it around. Part of him thought that it was definitely the junk mail that Millie had suggested that it was but some other part of him thought that there was a chance it wasn’t. If it turned out that his father had sent someone to their office to threaten him through letter then he didn’t want to throw it away. He had to know what his father was planning at all times so that he would be able to protect himself and his wife.

He flipped the letter back over so that he was looking at the envelope part instead of the names scrawled onto the front. The handwriting looked familiar, the letters different sizes and some of them obviously erased and rewritten so that they would be just a bit more legible. Immediately, Moxxie was able to identify that it wasn’t his father’s handwriting. That didn’t mean that Crimson hadn’t asked someone in his gang to write it for him before they stashed it in the office.

He leaned around the side of his wife and grabbed the knife that she always kept tucked into her belt. He hadn’t understood why she did that until he went down to Wrath and saw the difference in the respect towards women. Even in the Greed Ring mafia it was expected that women were to be respected for the power that they held above someone else. Gender was secondary to their station and connections. In Wrath, women were apparently considered to be secondary to men simply because of their gender and were often harassed for it. Millie had taken to carrying a knife with her at all times to protect herself from wild animals and concealing it so that she would have the upper hand against any man that decided to be a little too handsy with her.

He used the little knife to open the letter so that he didn’t mutilate the envelope like he always managed to do when he was opening their bills at home. He set the envelope back down on his desk and then flipped open the letter so that he could read what it said. Millie wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her nose into his shoulder so that she could read it at the same time as him.

Dear Millie and Moxxie,

I originally wanted to write you both different letters but a lot of the things I have to say are the same, so this letter is going to be in three parts. One for both of you, then one each for you both respectively.

Part 1: I’m sorry for being such a shitty boss to you guys. I know that I was the one to find you both in your shit situations and then get you somewhere better, and also the one to introduce you both, but that doesn’t mean I get to fuck around with your lives anymore. I should have learned to leave you both the fuck alone when you got married and I wasn’t trying to push you to date anymore. I honestly shouldn’t have done that in the first place and I feel really bad for it now. I hope that you guys did actually like each other and it wasn’t just me picking up on something that didn’t even exist in the first place. You two are my best friends and I was happiest when I dated (sort of) my best friend, so I thought that you would too.

That doesn’t mean that what I did was justified though. I know that I’m a total asshole and the stalking was a lot for you both. I can tell that a couple times I almost tore you apart with this job and the way that I bossed you both around. I hope that you can either continue doing this if you actually like it or go find something else if that would bring you more joy. I just wanted you guys to be happy and I went about doing it entirely the wrong way. I know that now, and I’m really fucking sorry.

Part 2: Moxxie, I’m sorry for the way that I talked to you. You’re really good at a lot of what you do and I had to bring you down because I felt insecure that I wasn’t as good as you even though I had been doing it for longer. I know that shit went to your head and made you feel like you were totally incapable of doing anything and that is abso-fucking-lutely not what I intended. You’re the best sharpshooter that I’ve ever met, you handle guns like they’re literally your fucking arms. You have compassion and intelligence that surpasses anyone else that I’ve ever met, which is really fucking impressive considering the dad that you came from.

I know that you were pissed about the huge stacks of paperwork that I gave you whenever I had to go fuck Stolas for the book, but you better get used to it because I’m leaving the business entirely to you. I’ve seen the way that you do it and your handwriting is way better than mine. Maybe the stupid bitches that own our building will finally close their yaps when they see your neat filing of the paperwork and shit. You’re smart enough that you can figure out how to get people to come and get more business without even breaking a sweat. Don’t worry about turning out like your dad when you’re running a business either, there’s no way that you could turn out like him. You’re too much like your mom.

Part 3: Millie, you’re the best fucking person that I’ve ever met in my entire life. You’re smart, funny, and strong as fuck. I’ve seen the way that people have reduced you down to either being Moxxie’s wife or angry, and that’s not who you are. The way that people ignore you in favor of me and Mox is the reason that I thought about making a whole letter for you in the first place. I know that I used to boss you around a lot and make you uncomfortable with some of my comments or by ignoring you when we were all hanging out as a group, but I never meant anything malicious by it.

While I want Moxxie to handle the paperwork, I know that you’re going to be best with the field work. He’s got good ideas when it comes to tracking down people and trying to figure out who they are, but you’re so much better at it. You can hunt someone down like it’s turning around in a circle. You’re fucking brilliant and you’re so good at your job. You also make a mean sister, so make sure that you hire on that Sally-Mae so that she can help you.

I hope that you can both forgive me for dumping all of this on you and making your lives more complicated for a while. I know that you’ll both adapt since that’s what you’re both good at. You don’t have to forgive me for any of this, by the way, that’s not the purpose of me writing these letters. I just wanted you all to know how I felt in a way that you could come back to as often as you wanted. I guess this is goodbye to both of you. Love you both, you’re the siblings I never deserved.

-Blitzo Buckzo

While she was reading, Millie tightened up and her breath quickened in her chest. When she got to the bottom she let out a twisted laugh that was half chuckle and half sob. She said, “Oh man, B sure knows how to make a joke, doesn’t he?”

“I’m not so sure that this is a joke, Mills,” Moxxie replied. He took her hand gently in his, threading their fingers together as he always did. He brought her across the floor so that they were standing in front of the office that Blitz had always used for himself. The front placard that had said his name with the ‘o’ crossed out in obnoxious red marker was gone, replaced instead with Moxxie’s name.

“He managed to find out your last name,” Millie whispered. Moxxie hardly ever used it because it reminded him too much of his father and where he had come from, but on the plaque it was hyphenated with his mother’s last name. It was what he had wanted when he was contemplating changing his name entirely so it was harder for the mafia to find him.

“Yeah, he did,” Moxxie whispered. He had always felt as though Blitz didn’t listen to him and just did whatever he wanted regardless of the consequences. After all, their boss and friend had brushed off every time that Moxxie had revoked consent for certain jokes or actions, like when Blitz had invited himself onto their anniversary date. It didn’t feel right that he had suddenly processed everything at once and was now acting like they had wanted him to so many times before. 

Now that he had it though, he knew that this wasn’t really what he had wanted. Of course he had wanted the jokes and the stalking and the inviting himself to places he was explicitly told he wasn’t wanted to stop, but he hadn’t wanted this. He had wanted Blitz to turn back into the person that he had first met, brash and a little rude but wholeheartedly himself.

“Is this fucking real? Why would Blitz just leave all of this to us?” Moxxie asked, even he could hear the way that his voice was shaking.

Millie took the letter off the desk and then read it two more times before she flipped it over to see if there was anything else. On the back was a picture of the three of them standing next to each other, crudely drawn as everything that Blitz drew was. She placed her hand over her mouth as tears began to well in her eyes and run down her face. “This- this doesn’t mean that he’s totally gone! Maybe Stolas offered him a job or something that sounded way more interesting than what he had been doing.”

“He and Stolas broke up over the crystal,” Moxxie reminded her softly. He walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. The two of them stood there in shock and silence. Millie was praying to anything and anybody that would listen to her that her friend would come back. She didn’t even care if Blitz was still just as obnoxious and cruel as he had been before, she just wanted to make sure that she wasn’t losing another friend without anything to do about it.

2. Loona

Loona woke up when the sun began to creep through her blinds and heavy curtains. Blitz had installed both of them for her despite the fact that it meant they wouldn’t get the security deposit when they moved. He had told her that he wanted to make sure that she slept well, something that she had rolled her eyes about at the time. She thanked him for it internally every time she woke up because she was allowed to sleep as long as she needed to and only realized what time it was after she had risen. As a hellhound, her body tended to work with the daylight cycles of Hell, which meant that if she had a late night she would wake up as soon as the sun was up unless she had something else to stop it, like the blinds.

She rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone before she felt her heart stop in her chest. She had overslept by almost three hours, which meant that the others had all gone to work while she had been snoozing away the remnants of a hangover. She flipped out of bed and began the mad scramble that everyone did when they realized that they were late for work.

“He won’t fire you, he’s tried in the past and then decided that he couldn’t do it,” she reminded herself gently. It was hard to get rid of the panic and anger that came whenever she did something wrong, a remnant of having grown up in the pound. One day she was going to get close enough to Queen Bee that she could let her know how abusive and horrible those places were so that no puppy ever had to go through what Loona had.

She didn’t bother with a shower that morning, she brushed her fur down so that it was laying comfortably against her skin. She shed her night clothes and dressed instead like she always did for work, finally ditching the ripped baggy shirts that she usually donned and putting something more presentable onto her body. She had just clipped her hair back out of her eye so that she could do her makeup while she was on the bus when she stepped out into the main living space of her home. 

On the island, where Blitz usually left her breakfast on the days where she woke up on time, was a thick stack of papers. She walked over and picked up the one on top, which was a letter in an envelope with her name scrawled on the front in her dad’s handwriting. She had seen him write like that only when he was trying to make himself presentable, like when he had made his plea to their last landlord to not kick him out for being a hybrid. She had never expected that scrawl to be for her.

She carefully slit the paper open and then removed the letter inside. Her hands were shaking as she saw the careful handwriting and proper spelling on the other side. It took her a second to calm her panic down and start reading the letter properly.

Dear Loona,

I know that this letter is probably going to upset you and I wish that it wouldn’t because I love you so much. All I seem to do is upset you, though. That’s not your fault, it’s something that I’m really good at and have been my entire life. 

I always wanted to be there to make you happy and support you in all of your endeavors, but I can see now how badly I fucked that up. I should have let you age out of the system like you said that you wanted to instead of adopting you and then roping you into my shit life. You would have been happier if you had the chance to make your way in the world the way that you had always dreamed of. I just saw a lot of myself in you, the child that no one wanted and desperately needed a bit of love. I get how that sounds and I’m not expecting you to pity me, I just thought that a bit of explanation might give you some closure.

I should have known that you didn’t like the way that I was trying to parent you when you got me that first time. I know that you never meant to hurt me, you were just scared and the people at the pound treated you so badly that was the only way that you could properly handle your emotions. I don’t blame you for the way you acted or the times that you hurt me, because you were trying to protect yourself. All the gods know that I’ve done way worse to try and protect myself.

I just want you to know that I was trying my best to be good for you. I always had this dream of adopting a Hellhound because I know that they’re very undesirable when it comes to potential family members, and I was too. I didn’t expect to get someone that was almost an adult when I went to the pound that day, but I’m really glad that I chose you to be my daughter. You don’t have to define yourself as that if you don’t want to, I know that I can never be your actual dad despite what the piece of paper that got you out of the pound says.

Damn, everything I’m saying sounds like I’m blaming you. I promise that I’m not, I’m just so shit at this whole feelings thing. The main point is: I wanted a family and I didn’t ask you if you wanted one, I should have just acted like your roommate and boss. It would have been better for you because then you could have gone out in the world and found your real pack.

Well, now you can do that. I’m gonna be long gone by the time that you wake up today, but don’t worry about it. I rescheduled all the appointments that we had for today so that Moxxie and Millie can figure things out with the business and get some paperwork under their belts. I know that you never really liked working at IMP anyways, so I figured that it would be extra nice to not have to deal with me or work today.

The next part of this shit is probably the meanest thing I’ve ever done to you. I’ve written up a resume for you and a couple of fillable cover letters so that you can apply for other jobs. I don’t know what your aspirations are in life (which proves just how much of a shit father I am, ha) but you have some experience as a secretary and in magic which should get you an entry level position anywhere you like. I’ve given you some instructions on how best to find jobs and what to look out for when it comes to getting into shitty situations. The apartment is also paid off for an additional six months of rent, so you can either withdraw that when you move or stay until you get a job without having to worry.

I promise that I really did love you, Loonie. I’m sorry that I was too in my own way to see what you really wanted and give it to you.

-Blitzo Buckzo

She had only seen her adoptive father sign something with that name once before, so reading it at the bottom of her letter felt like a massive slap to the face. She turned around and saw that her adoption certificate had been taken off the wall and there was another envelope taped to the empty picture frame instead. When she opened that envelope, she found that it contained her birth certificate, personal identification card, and the adoption certificate on top of a lot of other important personal information. The papers on the table were exactly what Blitz had promised they would be, resumes and cover letters and instructions on how to make her favorite food.

Loona’s first instinct was anger. She picked up the envelope her letter had come out of and then shredded it. Even with rage blinding her eyes she wasn’t able to destroy the documents that Blitz had so carefully made for her, nor the letters that he had written her. She kicked over the stool next to the bar and then shouted as she cupped her toe.

The next thing that came was tears, pouring down her face and soaking through her fur so that she could feel them on her cheeks. She was glad that she hadn’t yet put on her makeup because it would be caked to her face uncomfortably. “They were gonna put me down, Dad. You don’t fucking age out of the pound, you die. You saved me from dying and now you’re gone. I thought you were always gonna be here for me, I thought that I was safe with you,” she whispered to no one.

Slowly, Loona pulled herself up from the ground and walked over to the couch. The horse blanket was folded tidily on top of a box that was marked ‘Blitz’s things’ instead of being over the back of the couch here he had slept since he had adopted her. She had always felt bad that he had given up the one room in the apartments that they shared for her. When she was a pup and with her first foster family, they had tried to crate train her in the living room. While that was scary, she knew that she would have been okay sleeping out on the couch when it was with Blitz. He had an air of calm compassion to him when he was with her, even if he got a little smothering sometimes.

She walked over to the blanket and then picked it up, wrapping it around her shoulders. It smelled like cigarette smoke and Blitz’s body wash and night sweat. It would have been repulsive to her sensitive nose if she hadn’t been desperate for her father in any way that she could get him. 

Eventually, she was going to have to text Moxxie and Millie to see if they knew anything about where Blitz had gone. He obviously didn’t want her to follow him, but she was sick of losing family members. He was part of her pack, even if she had never treated him like it. She was going to change that, now that she knew there was a limit to what she could do to Blitz with him staying. That was the only reason she had treated him so badly before, because she knew that he wouldn’t leave her even though she was cruel and unfair.

Misery and guilt for her actions washed over her. He had always just been trying to look out for her, that was why he had adopted her in the first place. Even now, when she had terrorized him out of his own home, he had still gone through so much trouble just to make sure that she was happy and comfortable without him. “I’m sorry, Dad,” she whispered as she wrapped the blanket a bit tighter around her body.

3. Fizz and Ozzie

Fizz sat perched on the top of Ozzie’s desk, dangling his legs in front of him. He was humming softly to himself as he wrote and rewrote the same email a dozen times, trying to figure out the best way to put into words the thoughts that were rattling around in his head. He had been helping Ozzie out a lot more than before, now that it was known that they were together, so he assumed that he should have been better at this than he currently was.

He was upset at Blitz again, which wasn’t really a surprise given that was how their dynamic seemed to work. He would make up with his best friend and they would grow even closer than they had been before, then they would get in some fight or argument that drove them back to where they had been at the beginning. He knew that each falling out had a different set of time on it, which was why the fire had taken him fifteen years to reconcile with Blitz about. This time it felt petty and weird, which might have been because it was the first fight that they’d had since the one where he’d been disfigured.

As Fizz had told Ozzie the night before, it wasn’t really a fight yet. Fizz was upset that he had given Blitz all their prototypes and top of the line sex toys for the night that he was going to spend with his sort-of boyfriend only to hear nothing in response from him. It was pretty standard for friends to tell each other details about their sex lives, especially when plans had been made with those friends for said sex lives. Fizz mostly just wanted to be back in Blitz’s life, between the business that he was now running at the daughter he’d adopted he felt like he had missed so much.

The imp let out a long sigh and then set his phoned down next to him so that he could find something more interesting to do. A pile of papers and envelopes sat next to him, beside the computer where Ozzie was typing away as he chatted with his employees. He scooped them up after placing his comical 3D glasses on and began to search for something entertaining. He was also being useful, he placed the reports down on the top of the monitor that Ozzie was using, which made them fall over the screen and onto the keyboard as he tried to type. The personal letters were tossed onto the floor so they could be walked on, which is what the creepy sinners deserved for trying to get personal favors from the Sin of Lust himself. One of said personal letters made him stop, though, as he saw that his name was also on it.

It was a handwriting that he barely recognized, something that drew up a memory from the time before he had been in the accident. He flipped it over and sliced the paper open with his finger so that he could pull the letter out from inside. His eyes widened when he caught sight of the name at the bottom and he began to read over it as quickly as he could.

Dear Fizz,

If you’re reading this letter than I am officially not your problem, though if you never read this letter then I’m still not your problem.

I know that I said I wanted to be friends again, and I wasn’t lying. I missed you so fucking much, I didn’t feel like a person without you. It was impossible for me to connect with anyone the way that I connected with you and that may have been because we met as kids, but I chose to believe that it’s because we’re soulmates. In a manner of speaking, of course.

I have a lot to tell you in this letter, but I wanted to start the whole thing off by thanking you and Ozzie for everything that you’ve done for me. You guys were the ones to try and save the bullshit deal I had with Stolas so that I could keep my business going and Ozzie was the one that sent me the crystal that’s going to allow Moxxie and Millie to keep the business running long enough for them to find their true passions in life. You both have done so fucking much for me and I didn’t deserve any of it, so hopefully it’ll trickle down to the right people who deserve it more than anyone else in the entire world.

I’m sorry for what happened to you in the circus. I’m sorry for not being more supportive of you and instead just beating myself up about it. I promise that I was never really jealous of you, even if I did have moments where I wished that I was as good as you at something or wanted my dad to be giving me the attention that he was giving to you. The real reason that I was being so weird in the last couple of months that we were together was because I was in love with you.

I know that’s a massive fucking bombshell to drop on you in a goddamn letter, but it’s the only way that I could do it even back then. For your birthday I was going to confess to you, but I was too worried that I wasn’t the type of person that you wanted to be with. I backed out after writing that stupid letter and even finding you a flower, the kind that you liked with all the petals still on.

I remember it so vividly too, because it turned out so shit in the end. I came to the gap in the tent where we always went on stage and I just looked at you. You were surrounded by all your friends and the elders of the circus and you were smiling. You looked so happy without me there and I couldn’t ruin that. Dad had just told me how annoying I was to be around and I didn’t want to ruin your joy. So I turned around and tried to get away as quickly as I could and I hoped that you hadn’t seen me. I pushed the idiot carrying your cake and I guess it fell to the ground and lit everything on fire, because the horses got out. The fireworks were really what did it, but I was the reason that the fire started in the first place.

I’m so fucking sorry that you had to go through all of that pain because of some bullshit that I did. If I had just been bold enough to get rejected or laughed at, like a real man, then none of this would have ever happened. 

I don’t know how to make it up to you Fizz.

With other people I can offer them money to at least make up from what I stole from them, but what I took from you can’t be replaced. You obviously don’t need any money for medical bills given the partner that you have, so I can’t cover that. The only thing that I can do is say that I’m sorry. A lot of things that I’ve done have kept me up at night but nothing has done so more than what I did to you.

I’m glad that you were able to get some new limbs that suit you well and I hope that they don’t cause you too much pain. I’m glad that you found a partner that loves you and respects you for who you are, on top of being able to stick up for you the way that you need. No offense, Fizz, but you’re kind of shit at telling people that they’re overstepping your boundaries. I know that it’s probably my dad’s fault and I’m sorry for that too.

I’m glad that I was able to be back in your life for a little bit even though I really didn’t fucking deserve it. I put you through so much when we were kids and you were always so patient with me, something I also didn’t deserve. I literally stole your horns and all your limbs, and yet you still let me back into your life and tried to save me when I was ass deep in the worst deal that I ever made.

If there’s anything that you want of mine then just reach out to Moxxie and Millie, they’ll be running IMP in my stead since I won’t be around to do it anymore. Loona might also have some of my stuff but anything that she takes I want her to keep. We were never really all that close since she was an adult when I adopted her (basically) so I doubt that she will take anything.

Thank you, Fizz. Thank you for being my best friend and my first love and so much more shit that I can’t figure out right now.

-Blitzo Buckzo

Fizz’s hands were shaking when he got to the bottom of the letter. His entire body was shaking, in fact, which was the only way that the tremors were able to get all the way down into his fake appendages. He could feel tears welling in his eyes as he remembered the last time that Blitz had said things like this to him. His voice was shouting as he called for his partner, “OZZIE! OZ! HELP!”

The Sin flinched away from his computer in a split second and rushed over to his partner. He scooped Fizz off the table and then cradled him close. Ram and Bull were pushing against the confines of the flames on Ozzie’s head as they tried to get closer to the one that they loved but were unable to. “Fizzy, what’s wrong?”

“I think that something went really wrong with Blitz when he tried to romance Stolas,” Fizz said. “He wrote me this big long letter about how he wasn’t going to be bothering me anymore and apologizing for everything that went wrong in our relationship. Oz! The last time that he said things like this to me he ended up sick for a week and almost fucking dying.”

“You don’t mean…” Ozzie whispered, his eyes going wide with shock. He took the paper from Fizz and then his eyes began to glance over it all to take the words in.

Fizz nodded his head as quickly as he could. “Shit, Oz, I don’t know his employee’s numbers or even who his daughter is! Were we really friends? Do you think that he would keep this kind of information from someone that he was actually friends with? He said that he felt really lucky to be back in my life in the letter that he wrote me, but that could just be something that he was making up to make me feel better about his death. Oh my Lucifer, I really don’t want him to die,” he was babbling almost incoherently at this point, but there was no way for him to stop.

Ozzie reached out with one hand and took hold of Fizz so that he was forced to be a bit calmer. It wasn’t something that he did very often, but he knew that when his lover was in a blind panic it was the only thing that would affectively get him to settle. “Fizz, I can call Stolas. All the royalty have each other programmed into their phones for emergencies so it’s not going to be an issue to be able to contact him. I’m sure that we’ll get his half of the story and be able to piece some things together. Surely Blitz is just being a little dramatic about the stone or something,” he reasoned. He wasn’t sure that even he believed himself when he said it like that, but it was the only thing that he could come up with that wasn’t the bleakest of realities.

Fizz nodded, “I would really like that.”

The two of them sat next to Ozzie’s desk, down on the ground in forms that were almost the same size. It wasn’t often that the Sin shrunk down now that he didn’t go into his public anymore, it was too dangerous to show something so vulnerable to the Sinners that populated his ring. He reached over and took Fizz’s hand so that their fingers were woven together in a show of physical support for the other. He scrolled through the contacts on his phone until he found one for the aforementioned Goetia and then dialed it.

It rang for a few minutes before Stolas answered, smiling widely. “You Majesty, what an honor it is to get a call from the Sin of Lust himself! What can I help you with?”

“We have a couple of questions for you, Stolas,” Ozzie said. He had been wracking his mind about the meeting that the two of them had about the crystal, before it was derailed by Fizz getting kidnapped. He had a lot of questions that he wanted to ask and now was the perfect time, it would get him even more information about Blitz and his whereabouts.

“Of course, I would love to answer any questions that you have about myself and my abilities,” Stolas answered immediately.

The sucking up that other demons usually did towards Ozzie had gotten old after he stopped being a teenager. It was rather annoying to have someone that had so much power at the tip of one of his feathers fawning over him like some kind of lovesick schoolgirl hoping to get her clit sucked. “When you and I were talking, you mentioned that you were in a relationship with someone that you loved but didn’t love you back. Would this happen to be Blitz?”

“Uh… Sire, I’m not sure why you need to know this information,” Stolas said. He had set down the book in his hand and was now pacing around his desk with the cord for his phone wrapped around his feather-fingers. It was eery to watch the way that he changed from the cool fawning persona to something so panicked and diverting around the question that had been asked.

“Please just answer me. Was the person that you were in a relationship with that ‘wasn’t right’ Blitzo Buckzo?” Ozzie asked. He could feel the grip of Fizz’s prosthetic on his hand tightening as the imp began to get more and more worried for his on-again-off-again best friend.

“I’m not sure what his last name was! But, uh, yes. I was in a relationship with an imp named Blitzy,” Stolas answered.

“Blitz, and he’s a hybrid,” Fizz corrected him.

“It’s okay, baby, I got this,” Ozzie said softly to his partner. He was able to see the way that the imp was becoming more and more distressed as time went on. If his suspicion was true and Blitz was going to commit suicide, then every single second that they wasted was a second that they could be helping him. Ozzie knew that it was stressful not knowing how long the letter had been there nor when Blitz was planning the end, if he really was. “Stolas, you mentioned something about your relationship not being right? What was that, why did you need my crystal?”

The Goetia stuttered through a couple of non-sentences before Ozzie repeated the questions, implying that he was getting sick of waiting and was going to become upset if he was not given a proper answer soon. “Well, it’s rather complicated. I don’t want to get either of us in trouble, Sire, but I know that I have to answer you because you asked me a direct question. The imp stole my grimoire from me so that he could have the ability to travel to the human world, for hits that would get him more money and keep his company afloat. I didn’t want to just report him to the police because the night after he took my book he showed me the best time that I’ve ever had.”

“What did you do?” Ozzie asked. Even across the phone, he was able to tell when someone had true intentions about things like lust and sex. It was a common misconception with people that rape was something driven by lust, but instead it was more in the domain of greed or envy. Someone had something that someone else wanted, so instead of fostering strong emotions between two people and bringing them down into the depths of his Sin, they would simply take it and bastardize the art of seduction. He was getting that feeling now, the sourness of someone taking what they wanted while the other person was staunchly against it.

“So I struck up a deal.” 

“What kind of deal?” Ozzie immediately asked.

“Well, I thought that it would be nice to actually have someone that appeared to care for me servicing me, sexually. I said that I would lend him my book outside of the full moon and the days that I needed it for work, like the Harvest Moon festival, if he would come and ravage me like he did the first night that we were together,” Stolas explained. “But-but after the night that we spent together at your club, I realized that it was wrong to try and ask that of him so I decided that I was going to end the deal. It was why I asked for one of the crystals, sire. I wanted him to be able to choose to come to me.”

Ozzie and Fizz turned to each other, eyes wide and horrified. Ozzie hated forced sex, it ruined the art of seduction and lust. He had made that explicitly clear when he was loaning out the crystal and when the Goetia had come to him. Stolas had even assured him that he would never do something like use a love potion when he was actively in the process of coercing a being of lesser magic and status than himself into sex on a monthly basis.

Taking the silence as an invitation to share his feelings instead of abject horror, Stolas continued, “The cruel man barely even considered the thought that I loved him, though. I poured my heart out to him and I was so vulnerable! For the first time in my entire life I let myself show who I really was. He was my best friend and the first person to make me feel special and yet he thought that I was trying to make it a sex thing! Then he wouldn’t even apologize to me and accused me of looking down on him. I have done no such thing, I hold him such high regard and that was why I hired him to be my sexy, sexy bodyguard. Can you believe that he would do something like that to me? At least Verosika seems to be on my side, I think that’s why she’s been spending more time with Blitzy. As a way to try and get him to see that I was just trying to help him so he’ll come crawling back to me.”

The conversation quickly tilted into what Stolas was going to do with the hybrid once they were back together. It was all deranged, sexual acts that would take at least two hours of negotiation to do safely with a strong safeword and boundaries already set up. By the way that the Goetia had described the relationship beforehand, Ozzie knew that they didn’t have the precedent to do what needed to be done.

He slammed the phone down next to him so that the call was ended and the room rang with eery silence. Fizz had the one hand that Ozzie wasn’t holding pressed over his mouth as his eyes swam with tears. “I can’t believe I encouraged him to do things to that bird when he didn’t want to. I gave him items to try and save his fucking company instead of telling him that you had offered a crystal through Stolas. Shit, we really should have asked more questions about that.”

“We were trying to do the right thing, Froggy. Unlike Stolas, we actually respect people’s boundaries. Now, I’m going to call Verosika while you call Barbie. Maybe with the four of us combined we’ll be able to get to the people closest to him and figure out where he is,” Ozzie said as he began to fish around for his personal phone instead of his Sin one. They would get this figured out, they would find him before he did anything that couldn’t be undone.

4. Barbie

Barbie shook herself as she stepped through the portal that her crystal made and back into Hell. She shook herself off to try and rid her hair of the dusting of snow that she had gotten while outside. She liked her new job more than she liked the one before, when she had been abusing young humans to try and pedal heroin. The drugs that she encountered in the human world had barely any affect on her, but they did remind her of what it had been like to be happy and high instead of having to deal with her emotions. It was a lot easier to seduce people into giving in to their wanton desires than it was to watch them do what she wanted to be doing.

“Welcome back,” one of her coworkers called with a small wave of her hand.

Barbie was now working with the concubus court as a sex worker. She had a crystal that she used to go up to the human world and seduce potential future sinners, but she also serviced hellborns and sinners that had enough money to pay for it. That meant that she had her own room where she could service people, both those whom wanted the company of a pretty girl such as herself and those that wanted sex. She had her own studio apartment in the upper levels that allowed her to have some privacy without being totally alone. 

“Thank you,” she smiled. She walked up to the desk in the front foyer of the building and then took her key off the wall, handing the Asmodean crystal to the attendant so that it could be locked away in the vault on the lowermost floor.

“You have a letter, dropped off by someone that looked like a more impish version of you,” the woman said as she began to dig through the pile of mail and papers on the desk. She finally located it and then handed it over to the hybrid before she returned to her work.

Barbie assumed that it was a piece of junk mail or more of the borderline creepy letters that she got from previous clients thanking her for what she had given them. They were sweet sentiments, usually from beings that had been alive back when the world was a very prudish place, but it had always freaked her out. Part of that was because of the letters and notes that she would find in her costume, dressing room, and tent back when she was part of a circus. She had been a child and teenager back then, so it was really upsetting to know that full grown adults were sneaking around her things to give her something that she hadn’t consented to receiving. Now that she was an adult, she found it kind of creepy to get those notes and letters because these people were quite literally paying her for her services. She wasn’t going out of her way to do something nice for them, they were paying her to do something that she had offered down on the big blackboard in the foyer.

She road the elevator up to her apartment and then opened it up. She shut and locked the door behind her, setting her key down on the hanger beside where she placed her coat. She removed the letter from the pocket as she turned her music on and let the sound float through her little apartment. It was so nice to be able to have her own space after so long of having to share with other people, it made her feel like her own individual instead of part of a twin set.

Barbie jumped up on the counter as she flipped the letter around to the front. She felt her heart drop down into her stomach as she saw that her name was written in Impish, something that she hadn’t seen since she was in the circus. She knew that this was Blitz’s handwriting, she had seen it over and over again when he had been forced to do the call sheets and chore lists by their father. She had no idea how he had managed to find where she was living this time, other than being the most competent, annoying stalker that she had ever met in her life.

“Fucking dickhead,” she mumbled as she prepared to throw the letter away. Part of her still doubted that it was her brother in the first place, though. She knew that he wrote more legibly in Impish than he ever would in English or the other languages that the humans spoke. They had both been taught how to write and read in that language thanks to their mother’s heavy ties to the tribal ways that their father had never bothered with.

There weren’t a lot of people that knew that she was a hybrid. She had always looked more like her mother, a succubus, than her father, so it was hard for people to tell that she was an imp when she wasn’t twirling around with one. She had used that to her advantage when she had started her new life in the Lust ring, and it was one of the reasons that she was able to apply for the job and a crystal in the first place.

If someone had figured out that she was an imp, then it could put her job in jeopardy. There was always a small chance that it wasn’t her brother who had written her the letter, or that he had gone entirely off the deep end and was threatening the life that she had made for herself again. She couldn't let that happen, she couldn’t let him ruin everything that she had worked so hard to get. She was clean, she had a place to live, she had steady work that brought her a lot of fulfillment. 

She took the letter back into her hands and then looked it over again. She had to read it, she knew that her mind wouldn’t let the topic drop until she had found out what lay inside of those damned pages. So she slit the top of the letter open with one of her paring knife attached to the magnets in her kitchen counter. She pulled the letter from the envelope and then stared at it like it was somehow going to immediately disappear because she wished it.

She then opened it up and let her eyes scan down to the bottom of the page. It was definitely Blitz writing her, which made her have the impulse to throw it away again.

Something about being in a more stable environment, with friends that understood her issues with substance abuse and supported her journey in recovering from it, made her pause. She had loved her brother like she loved herself at one point, he had been her right hand and her best friend. He had always come to check on her when she was in rehab and he had tracked her all the way to the human world so that he could check on her and make sure that she was still healthy.

He had ruined her life, twice, but he cared about her. She knew how badly their father had treated him, so the least she could do was give him a chance by reading his letter.

Dear Barbie,

I feel like I should have sent you this letter a long time ago, but I kept clinging to the idea that things were going to go back to the way that they were before the fire for some reason. I totally understand that’s never going to happen, you made that really clear before and I should have listened.

I know that the blame for that still lays heavy on my shoulders, but I promise that it was an accident. I didn’t mean to push the cake over or startle the horses. I never would have done that, but I regret it so much more because I know that the fire was the thing that killed our mother. I know that you will never forgive me for that and it’s entirely in your right to hold that against me because, honestly, I still hold it against myself as well. 

I totally understand your reasoning for wanting nothing to do with me and I should have respected that a lot sooner than I did. All you wanted was to be able to make a new life for yourself and I kept ruining it. I ruined your life the first time when I caused the fire and then you got more into your drug habits. I stalled your life way too fucking hard by continuing to visit you in rehab even after the nurses banned me and I had to start climbing through the stupid fucking windows. I ruined your life when my business intersected with yours and we killed the client that you were using to pedal heroin. I’m probably going to ruin it again just by sending this letter to you and for that I’m really, really fucking sorry.

The only thing that I ever wanted for you was for you to be happy. You’re my sister, my twin, and I love you so much. I know that you never really liked being my twin because it meant that we were a set instead of you being your own person. Back when we were in the circus, I used to ignore that because it really hurt my feelings. It was so much easier to pretend that it didn’t exist and still hold it against you than it was to look at why I felt like that and break it down properly.

I’m sorry that I made your life so shit, Barbie. I promise that I did love you.

The only reason that I’m writing this letter is to tell you that I’m not going to be your problem (or anyone’s for that matter) any longer. I’ve decided to take myself entirely out of your life and the equation of Hell. 

I know that probably sounds really scary, but I promise that it’s going to be easier for you to deal with that you think of. The elders in our circus always said that having a twin was like being half of a coin, having an opposite and a whole somewhere out in the world. I don’t think that we were ever really like that, you only ever wanted to hang out with me when your friends weren’t around or when you thought that Fizz and I were getting too close. You also made it really evident the last time that we saw each other how little you want to do with me, so when I’m dead you’re barely going to have to worry about anything anymore. You might be thinking that death sounds like a really permanent solution to just having my sister not want to see me, but there’s more reason for it.

I recently found out about a party that one of my exes was holding because I totally destroyed her life, you probably met her when you were in rehab together. I realized that I can’t keep doing this to people. Everyone that I meet gets hurt in some way because I am fundamentally a bad person. I can see now how badly I hurt you, and Verosika, and my daughter, and my employees (they’re my only friends, which tells you how fucking pathetic I am) and the last partner that I had. I feel bad for the last one, he said that I made him feel even worse than his abusive ex and I thought that I was only doing what he had done to me. I don’t know, I just know that I’m shit at being a person and everyone that I come across ends up getting hurt.

I already sent a letter to Fizz, so you don’t have to worry about telling him what’s going to happen. I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to worry about me coming into your life and messing everything up again. I’m not your problem anymore, I’ll be some other realms problem. I’m sorry that I overshared so much in this letter, I guess the old habit of being your twin is going to have to die with me because I just couldn’t stamp the little fucker out. 

I hope that whatever your life turns out to be brings you happiness and you are as happy as you want to be. I love you so much, Barb.

-Blitzo Buckzo

Barbie screamed as she dropped the letter down. Her hands were shaking as she scrambled for her phone or her keys or something. She had to do something, to find her brother and stop whatever stupid plan he had come up with. She had lost her mother to the fire that had sent her life on this downwards spiral and her father to liver Cancer not long after. She didn’t know what she would do if she ended up losing her brother, her twin, too.

Before she had time to decide what she was going to do, her phone rang and she scrambled to answer it. “Blitzo?” she asked, not even checking the caller ID before she accepted the incoming call.

“You got a letter too? Barb, this is really bad!” Fizz replied instead of greeting her like he normally did. “If he managed to find you and wrote you a letter then this means that it isn’t a joke.”

“Do you know where he is or how to get in contact with someone closer to him?” Barbie asked. She had pushed him away from her so hard when they had last been together and yet her heart still ached when she thought about the fact that she was no longer in the innermost circle of his life.

“We were hoping that you had contact with someone that was closer to him than we are. I mean, the two of you are twins so I guess I assumed that you would have met his daughter or friends or something,” Fizz explained. She could hear the panic that was settling into his voice and almost felt it resonate through her bones. If she didn’t have the key that he needed to get to Blitz then it was possible that there was no way to reach out to him before he did something that couldn’t be undone. 

They had been in this position before, back when they were teenagers. Their life felt so endlessly complicated and difficult back then even though they didn’t know the half of what it would become in just a few months. She could still remember the sheer panic that had run through her when she had saw her brother drenched in the black blood from the cuts on his arms, his face still bruised from where their father had taken out his drunken anger on him. She remembered what it was like begging her mother to get up so that they could get him to a clinic in the nearest town and save his life before he bled out. Fizz had been there with her during that time too, which certainly wasn’t helping with giving her the feeling that she had already walked this path once before.

“I… I never forgave him for the fire. My therapist said that it would be good for me to cut out everything in my life that brought me pain, back when I was in rehab, so I had to make him leave me alone. Fizz, I think I helped cause this. I was the only thing that tied him back to his old life and now he’s going to be gone too. I can’t lose another family member!” she cried. She didn’t realize how desperately she had missed her brother until she was thinking about the reality of never being able to see him again. Cutting him out of her life was one thing, it allowed her to have the ability to go back and see him if she changed her mind. If he was able to go through with this, then it was going to mean that she had lost her entire family because she simply hadn’t reached out to them when she should have.

She could barely hear the words that were coming in from the other line of the phone as she tried to quiet her breathing. She didn’t want to lose the rest of her family, even if they weren’t the closest anymore. Fizz’s shout of her name brought her back so that he could hear him repeat himself, “That’s not going to happen! Ozzie is calling one of his exes, the one that he spoke to most recently that hasn’t been sexually exploiting him. We’re going to find him before he manages to do anything and then we’ll prove to him that while he does need to work on his fucked up parts, we still want him to be around so that he can actually do that.”

“You’re right! This is Blitz we’re talking about. All we have to do is challenge him into actually doing this and then we’ll be golden, he’s so stubborn that there’s no way that he could forgo a challenge like this,” Barbie nodded. She was quiet for a moment before she asked, “Fizz? Do you think that I could come stay with you until we find him? I don’t feel safe right now and I want to be able to present him with something to be proud of when we do find him.”

“Yeah, I’ll have one of the drivers pick you up and we can wait this out together,” Fizz immediately replied.

Barbie felt her shoulders immediately sag when she knew that she had him to lean on in some form or another. Perhaps her therapist had been wrong when telling her to cut pain from her life before it had the chance to tempt her, because Fizz had the chance to hurt her really badly and yet he was helping her more than not seeing Blitz ever did. She hung up the phone so that they could text while waiting anxiously for any change in the case.

5. Verosika

After a long night of performing at Ozzie’s, the only thing that she wanted to do when she got home was sleep for several hours. She knew that she had to find a healthier lifestyle, but the one that she had was fun and inspiring and exciting. She got very little sleep and used to have to drink herself into a stupor to forget the horrors that had come from her previous recording studio, but she was somewhere safer now. Ozzie was sponsoring her so that she could get properly clean and she had people around her that truly loved her.

She drove through the high metal gates of her community and then down the long, pink driveway to her home. It was massive, made of mostly windows so that she could see the gorgeous views that her hilltop abode afforded her. After clawing her way out of poverty to get to the place that she was now, and fighting alcoholism the entire way, she knew that she deserved this. Her home was what she had made of it with her own money, time, and effort.

Verosika stepped out of the car and walked into her home with her Hellhound following behind her. She wasn’t the type of demon that had hired him on while thinking that he was going to be a literal dog, she was far too smart for that. She had hired him as security after someone had broken into her house and tried to rape her. Apparently being a part of the concubus court meant that she had to deal with even more sexualization and a stronger expectation that she would ‘like it’ because she was an inherently sexual being. She shuddered at the memory and reminded herself that wasn’t going to happen.

She had Vortex to help keep her safe and she was now somewhat friends with Prince Stolas after helping him get over their shared ex. She had done that to a lot of other people before, but part of her knew that most of the floosies and idiots that she heard had some dealings with her ex were just coming to her parties for fun. They didn’t need the help that she was offering, they barely knew Blitz and so they hadn’t had their hearts broken by him the way that she and a few others had.

For the most part, he was good at making sure that he kept his distance from people so that they wouldn’t get hurt when he got bored and then chose to move on. She was one of the few acceptions to that, he had told her that she was special and he had laughed at her jokes. He had even sung with her when she had created the song that she had wanted to give to him for their one year anniversary. She supposed that telling him she loved him was just too much for him to handle, because when she woke up the next morning he had gone with her credit card, car, and heart.

Despite the heartbreak that followed her like death followed Sinners, she was doing pretty well for herself. Ozzie’s was a stable place to work and that allowed her to have the routine that she needed to avoid drinking because she was just too bored not to. She had stable income that allowed her to have the pleasurable things in life that she had always lusted after. She had a stable mind that wasn’t constantly yearning after a man that had turned her down years and years ago.

She paused when she heard Tex come back into the house. “Apparently someone brought some mail to you and knew the detail that they asked to make sure that it wasn’t stalkers,” he said as he approached her.

She felt her stomach do a flip about that. She had been getting way too many creepy letters and packages to feel completely safe in her own home, despite the security on the outside and inside, thanks to Tex and the compound, being really good. She had begun to set a sort of password system that would prevent anyone that didn’t know the answer from leaving her anything. It had ended up being a secret that she had shared with the aforementioned hybrid back when they were together.

“May I see it?” she asked as she held out her hand. Tex nodded and handed the letter over to her, placing the rest of the bills down on the pile in the corner. That was what she was planning on doing that night when she woke up from sleeping but wasn’t ready to go to work yet. It appeared like her nap was going to be delayed to the point where she wouldn’t be able to get to it.

She slit the envelope open and then began to read the letter, immediately recognizing Blitz’s handwriting. It was simply a neater version of the note that he had left her when he had taken all of her things and run down to Wrath.

Dear Verosika,

You’re probably really scared and confused about why I left this letter for you. To put it shortly: I’m going to kill myself.

I know that feels like a really harsh way to begin a letter, but I thought that it was a good way to get the message across as succinctly as possible. You’re the first person that I’ve told that to deliberately. I told Fizz and Barbie that I wasn’t going to be their problem anymore. I told Loona, my daughter, that I was letting her have the freedom to do whatever she wanted without me hovering around her anymore. I told my employees that they were taking over the company for me. You were always different than the other people in my life, though, you had this way of drawing the truth out of me even if I didn’t know that it was the truth at the time. I trust you with this information and I know that I can’t lie to you anyway.

I’m sorry for all the shit that I put you through when we were together. It doesn’t excuse anything, but I did want to tell you why it was so hard for me to believe that you did actually love me and why I panicked so hard.

When I was younger, I was part of a circus. You already know that, as well as the fact that my twin hated me for something that I did when I was in it. The thing is, I was best friends with Fizzarolli because he was also a member of that same circus. I was in love with him, though. I was going to tell him how I felt on his birthday but my dad had just terrorized me again, to the point where I didn’t feel like I was even worthy to be Fizz’s friend let alone be in a relationship with him. I ended up causing a big fire through a lot of accidents and incidents, but it left Fizz completely fucking scarred. He lost his horns and his limbs and would have ruined his career if it weren’t for Mammon and Ozzie.

I had seen what my love did to other people and that made me scared to give it to people that I really, really loved. A few had managed to squirm their way underneath the walls that I put up, you and Loona mostly. I managed to get over the whole anti-love thing with Loona because she was my daughter and not a romantic partner, but unfortunately I can’t say the same for you.

I did love you, and that was what had scared me about our relationship so much that I had to go and wreck it all. You were more beautiful than any of the legends about concubus say, you were funny and witty and snarky in a way that actually meshed with mine instead of competing against it. You held me in all the right ways, so that I could actually sleep. You made me feel important and like I was worthy of something.

I guess that’s why I panicked and decided that it was impossible for you to actually feel that way about me. I’ve been told my entire life that I’m a piece of shit so it’s a little hard to believe that other people believe I have the capacity to not be exactly that. I hope that this made any sense, I’ve been crying for hours so my brain is a little fucking fried.

Apologies don’t mean shit, I learned that at the party that you threw. By the way, there’s a check in the envelope for the money that I stole from you, the hotel room, and your car. I was trying to make shit up to a lot of the other exes that I had, but I’m going to be totally honest with you. I didn’t think that I needed to apologize to a lot of those people. They got too attached to me or decided that there was something there that I had explicitly stated I didn’t want.

Do you wanna know something weird? Stolas tried to make my apologize to him even though the only thing I did was get upset at something that he did that triggered me. We weren’t even in a real relationship, I was having sex with him so that he wouldn’t throw me in jail.

Shit, that sounds a lot worse than I thought it would. Basically, I stole a book from him so that I could travel up to the human world for higher paying assassin jobs, trying to give my daughter a better life and all that shit, but he found out about it. Dickhead called me while I was on a job and then started going on and on about how he didn’t want me to get in trouble so he was going to do me a favor by offering me a deal. I ended up screwing his brains out once a month for almost a year despite the fact that I prefer to be on the bottom, but I think that you’re one of the only people that knows that.

He ended it by giving me a crystal and saying that he wanted to end things. I didn’t know how the crystal worked at first, it found out by looking up some concubus tutorials online. I thought that he was going to end my business and negate my ability to take care of my daughter in one swoop, so I panicked. You know what I do when I panic. I beg, then I insult, then I get mad. I didn’t really feel like I was insulting him this time, I was mostly just telling him what I actually thought about him because I was finally allowed to. He got pissed and then threw me out.

Some weird part of me wanted him back, though. I guess it was the part of me that didn’t want to be alone. I would rather be with someone that has no interest in me outside of my dick and his fetish than be totally on my own. I’ve always known that my friends are really just my coworkers and my daughter resents me for adopting her when she could have aged out of the system. I guess all the hate and hurt that I’ve caused really slapped me across the fact after that party that you threw.

I think it’s going to be better for everyone overall if I’m just not here anymore. I killed my own mom by being stupid, I turned my friend into a quadruple amputee, I drove away everyone else that could have ever loved me. I regret doing that to you the most, I think. Everyone else already hated me before I forced myself into their lives, but you never did. 

I love you so much, V.

I guess that’s why you got the full scoop, I still love you like we’re together even though it’s been years since we broke up. I hope that you can find love and peace again. I’m gonna do it at our spot, so that you can’t go there with someone else. It’s the most selfish thing that I’m going to do in my life, kill myself in the place that was special to us when we were together. I guess I haven’t really changed all that much.

-Blitzo Buckzo

Verosika threw the letter down on the table and grabbed her keys. Blitz had sent her the letter at some point that day, because the office was closed at night when she had been working. “Don’t follow me!” she shouted after Tex as she opened the door to her garage and then rushed inside. She could barely get out of her compound quick enough to sate the adrenaline that was rushing through her. 

When her phone began to ring with a call from her boss, she removed it and answered it. Her shoulder kept the device pinned to her ear so that she could focus on weaving around the sparse traffic of the early morning. “I’m not going to be able to perform for a while, sorry.”

“It’s actually not about that. I wanted to ask if you knew anything about Blitz’s whereabouts. I know that he’s your ex and the two of you don’t really get along anymore, but Fizz and I aren’t in contact with anyone in his life that’s any closer. We received a rather concerning letter and we wanted to check on him to make sure that he was alright,” Ozzie explained hurriedly.

“I guess he was telling the truth when he told me that I was the only person that he told about his full plan. I got a letter too, one that told me he was going to kill himself in our special place so that I couldn’t make memories with someone new there,” she explained. She was gripping the steering wheel so hard that her pink knuckles had turned gray with the blood that was being forced around them. She was sucking in her breaths as she tried to focus on simply driving and not panicking.

“Are you already on your way? If you tell us the spot then we can come after him and help you if things are worse than you’re anticipating,” Ozzie said. She was having a bit of trouble hearing him over the blowing wind that was tossing her hair from side to side. Despite that, she was able to make out the sounds of another person talking in the background and items rustling around while they got ready to leave.

Verosika immediately replied, “No! The worst thing for him right now is being made to feel like he’s a spectacle. He’s going through something really rough right now and he needs to be supported.”

“Do you think that you’re the right person for the job?” Fizz asked. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, frog face?” she demanded. She usually wouldn’t snap at Fizz like that, the two of them had become fast friends with each other and got along thick as thieves. The only reason that she was being so testy and borderline cruel to him was because of how worried she was for Blitz. She knew that he struggled with things like depression, but this was something else entirely.

“I just meant that you hold that annual hate party for him and I don’t think that someone that’s willing to go that far over their ex is the best to talk them down when they have a bullet pressed against their head,” Fizz replied quickly. It was a reasonable assumption, in all honesty, since she had forgotten to explain herself to them properly.

She huffed as she continued to speed towards the place where she always met her love. “Do you really think that someone that earnestly hated another person would throw a party dedicated to them every year? I like partying, but not that much. I’m still very much in love with Blitz, Fizz. I’m going to find him and I’m going to bring him home safe and sound. Promise.”

The other end of the phone was silent for an achingly long time, to the point where she began to wonder if she had driven through a dead spot. Finally, Fizz said, “You better. If I never end up seeing my best friend again then I will never forgive you, Mayday.”

She let out a breath as she let her phone drop down next to her and focused entirely on driving. She didn’t even care of the expensive custom case that she had just purchased for it survived the trip it made down to the floor. She wanted to see Blitz and she wanted to see him now, so that was the only thing that she could focus on.

Verosika only stopped when she got to the little outcrop that would lead them down to their spot. They had been young when they had dated each other, barely out of teenagerhood with the stupidity still clinging to them like sweat on the highest summer day. That meant that they often just drove around until they found a place in the woods where they could make out, maybe fuck, or just be alone together so that they didn’t have tow worry about other demons judging them for what they did. They had found their spot by brushing off of the main path onto a social path, and then going through a small splitting in the clover. It was a beautiful location, bright ever-present cherry blossoms circling the greenest sorrel that she had ever seen in her life. Flowers and wild berry bushes surrounded the outside as well. A very powerful Overlord had come through into Lust there, which was why it was such a unique place. The Overlord had fallen a couple of exterminations ago, which meant that it was left abandoned for them to find.

She was trying to remember every single twist and turn until she finally happened across it again. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her blood was rushing in her ears when she saw the slumped over figure of the hybrid that she had loved so dearly. She knew that her life would be so much less without him, despite what she had told him over and over again.

“Blitz!” she cried. She didn’t know why he had dropped the last letter of his name, but if that was what he wanted to be called when she was going to do it. Verosika took off through their meadow and then dropped down next to him, relief flooding through her when she saw no sign of black blood amongst the beauty. All she saw was the tears stained cheeks of her ex-boyfriend and a quivering body that needed to be soothed.

“How much of a fucking coward am I?” he asked, dropping the gun down by his side. “I prepared all of this for a fucking month and then I couldn’t even go through with it. Gave everyone these stupid letters and drew up all this paperwork, only for my damned finger to get stuck on the trigger.”

“I’m so glad that you didn’t,” she whispered. She picked up the gun and then emptied the bullets out of it, tucking them into her pocket. She flicked the safety back on as she let the gun itself drop back down into the sorrel. She had never been one for weapons, not when she was the weapon herself. She didn’t know how to disarm it properly.

“Why?” Blitz asked, tilting his head back so that he could look at her properly.

Verosika knew that it was a tender situation and she was sober enough to know what that meant, that she should be treating Blitz kindly. She was unable to stop the hysterical giggle that burst through her mouth and into the air between them. She slapped a hand over her lips and immediately said, “I didn’t mean to do that.”

Blitz inched away from her so that he was sitting underneath one of the cherry trees, staring at the never-ripe fruit. “I guess it was pretty selfish of me to tell you that I wanted you to move on and find someone that really loved you before I tried to kill myself in our spot. I can do it somewhere else, if you want.”

The manic feeling that she had been battling was suddenly gone, all at once. The seriousness of the situation returned to her as she reached out and took his hand. She rubbed her fingers over his knuckles using her other hand, just how she knew that she liked it. “Blitz, I don’t want you to kill yourself at all. I know that I throw that stupid party every year, but it’s not because I actually hate you. I love you more than I should, given all the horrible things that you’ve called me over the years. I make that the theme of my Halloween party every year to try and trick myself into actually hating you when I know that’s impossible. I’ll never be able to hate you.”

“You’re joking, right?” Blitz asked. His expressive eyes were numb and dead, like he didn’t even have the energy to fake a reaction for her.

“Of course I’m not joking! This isn’t really the type of situation for it,” she shook her head. “Blitz, there’s a reason that I’ve never had another partner other than the fucks I do to keep my magic going. You completely fucking ruined my ability to love anyone else because of how charming and quick witted and smart you are.”

“I don’t believe that,” Blitz said as he turned his head away from her.

“Why not?” she demanded.

“I’m fucking impossible to love! Okay?” he shouted.

She flinched back but didn’t get up and leave. She’d had enough fights with him and talked to enough people to know that this was what he did. When he knew that things were getting rough in his head, he pushed people’s buttons and specifically did things that he knew would make them leave. He was looking for someone that would stay when things got to their worst, when he was at his worst. He had never been able to find someone that had done that, everyone that he had ever gotten intertwined with was so self-centered that they had done what he wanted and abandoned him because they didn’t care enough to put in the work. She hadn’t, of course, she had been left in a motel with no way to get him. She wasn’t going to leave him now either, not when it could mean losing him forever instead of just for years.

“Why do you think that?” she asked.

“Stolas,” he mumbled. When she didn’t reply, he took it as she had wanted him to and began to rant about what the Goetia had done. “I snuck into that party you threw, right? I found him because he was the last person on my list to apologize to when I was trying to prove a point to him. I don’t fucking know how but we ended up getting to the topic of our relationship and I asked him what he would even see in me, why he wanted to change what we had from transactional sex into a romantic relationship.”

“What did he say?” she pried. She had remembered what Blitz had written in her letter and suddenly her stomach turned. Concubus were above imps in the rankings, but Blitz’s hybrid status was very unknown by those he worked with. Stolas’ song, the one that he had sung when she had offered him the mic at her party, was now leaving a bad taste in her mouth. How dare he ask those questions of someone that he had coerced into sex and how dare she call Blitz a motherfucker for not loving him back?

“He said that he wanted someone that cared for him and wanted him around. It was soap opera bullshit, it had nothing to do with me. Why would it? I was a novelty to him, something new and exciting. He didn’t give a shit that I was a whole person with my own thoughts and feelings, I was just the person that awakened his sexual drive. I wasn’t anything more to him than an animated doll that was at his beck and call. He didn’t want me, he wanted someone to love him like he was in a soap opera. If some brand new person had walked up to him and confessed their love then he would have accepted it. This guy got me a fucking crystal to do my job with and made a deal with me so that he could see me more often and it didn’t even have to be me, he just wanted anyone to be there.”

Verosika fell to her side so that she was sitting beside Blitz, closer than she had been before. She felt shock and horror rushing through her, creating a maddening cocktail that made her head hurt. She asked, “He really said all of that?”

“I’m not creative enough to think up that kind of plot, V,” he huffed.

She shook her head and said, “You’re right, that was a stupid question. I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you, baby. I should have gotten your side of the story in the breakup. I should have done that with a lot of your exes, so many fucking stories came out at later parties that put them in the wrong.”

He gave her an unsure look but still leaned into her side when she placed her arm around his shoulders and brought him closer to her. It was easy for them to fall back into the dynamic that they’d had when they were together, she didn’t expect anything different. She brushed her fingers over the place where his horns protruded from his skull and got him to let out a lazy, relaxed purr.

She didn’t want to break the silence that they had fallen into. His warmth and breathing against her side was reassuring to her in a way that she wasn’t quite sure how to explain. She had always adored the shorter hybrid, but she had never realized how truly terrifying it was to her until it was staring her right in the face. The longer that she dragged out the silence, the longer that she sat in the moment of peace that she had created, the longer that she didn’t have to think about the alternate ending to her arrival at their spot. She took a deep breath as she prepared to break that moment and face the music. 

“Blitz, you were right when you said that we were in Hell.”

“Oh?” he asked, that shit-eating grin that always made her what to kiss him covered his face and she almost rolled her eyes. A smile pulled at her own lips as she continued the motions that had made him relax in the first place. 

“The shit that you wrote about Stolas in that letter, it’s what convinces me that the people down here are crappy. The royals are too close to all the Sinners that are sent down here by God, they get tainted. They don’t spend enough time around the Hellborn to learn about why we were here first or why we’re more important than them. Stolas never should have done any of that to you and I’m so sorry that he did,” she said.

“I probably deserved it, the forces of the universe likely sent me down that route so that I would end up removing myself from the world and stop hurting people,” Blitz mumbled. It was a better explanation that what she thought that he was going to try and throw at her, but it still made her blood boil to think about the person that had made him think that way. She hated herself for encouraging Stolas to sing that awful song about how he hadn’t been in the wrong and Blitz was always in the right. If only she had kept her head on straight and let go of the hate that she had for the first boy to ever actually break her heart.

“You didn’t deserve shit, he took advantage of you like all shitty people do,” she shook her head. “I want you to stick around, I love you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Blitz whispered. He turned his head towards her to tuck his face away into the sweater that she was wearing from her recording session early that morning. She took the opportunity to wrap her arms around him and hold him close, like she was going to be able to save him from the wrath of the world with nothing more than sheer force of will.

“I mean that more than I’ve ever meant anything in my entire life. If you had been in my apartment when I found out that you were going to kill yourself then you wouldn’t doubt me for even a second,” she whispered against the side of his head. “I love you and I want you to stick around. I’m not going to be able to do the work for you when it comes to getting that head of yours figured out, but I can support you and encourage you. Like how you tried to get me sober when we were together,” she suggested.

He tilted his head up so that he could look at her and then asked, “Promise?”

“I promise,” she nodded. He sniffled and buried his head back where it had been before. She allowed him to cry into her sweater, even though she was going to have to get it dry cleaned when they got back to her home. She didn’t care, twenty dollars for dry cleaning felt like nothing compared to the comfort that her beloved needed to derive from her so that he felt as though he could actually live through this bout of pain.

When he had finished crying, she took his hand and led him back to the car. Blitz had to be buckled into his seat and was basically catatonic as they drove all the way back to his home in Pride. She had seen him like this before, but usually substances or a massive fight had happened before. She kept the music of the car off and chose to just sing along with the wind, she knew that her voice had a lulling affect on him.

They reached his apartment and he took her hand almost as if it was a subconscious action, like he couldn’t imagine a world in which they weren’t fighting and he wasn’t holding onto her. She felt reassured by the motion, like she had given him something more to fight for.

She walked him up the stairs to his apartments and then opened the door to reveal two imps and a hellhound sitting around the kitchen island while looking very somber. The imp with black hair immediately reached down to her waist and grabbed a knife, while the hellhound pinned her ears back and growled. Blitz flinched back into Verosika and for a moment she worried that they had come into the wrong apartment, before she remembered that these were the employees that had been with him while they were having their Demon Duel.

She was worried that she was going to have to put herself in the middle of them and then drag Blitz to her home, which would make it a lot harder to watch him and make him comfortable. When he was going through such a traumatic event, he should be in the place where he knew that he was safe. He had made his apartment into a safe place, even if he had no real bed and all of his things had been packed up so that they could be disposed of after his impending death.

The girl with the black hair set her knife down on the table and then rushed to him, flinging her arms around the hybrid. “Boss, I thought that you were really gone for good! I kept telling Mox that we had to look for you, that this wasn’t something that you would just do because you got bored. It wasn’t until we came back here and saw the letter that you have given to Loona that we knew something was really up. I’m so fucking relieved that you’re okay!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay,” Blitz replied. 

The way that he said it made it sound like he was trying to convince himself that it was true as well. Verosika felt her heart breaking in her chest all over again. If she had put her emotions to the side for a single second and asked him about why he had done those things to her, she might have been able to see what was wrong with him before it had actually happened. She longed to reach out to him and wrap him up in her own arms, instead of watching someone else do it, but these were people that were just as close to him as she once had been. They were worried for him and they deserved to have a chance to love on him like she’d had when she was bringing him back to safety.

“Sir, I promise that I wasn’t trying to imply that you would just get bored of the company! I think I was just in shock because this doesn’t really seem like something that you would do unless you were in a lot of trouble. When I said that this seemed like something that you would do, it’s because whenever your past comes back it seems like that past wants to kill us,” Moxxie rambled.

“Or steal our parking space,” Blitz nodded as he glanced back at Verosika.

“You deserved it at the time. And you ended up winning fair and square,” she shrugged. She pressed a kiss to the base of his horn and then went to the living room so that she could tidy up some of the things around the apartment. She had never been a very clean person in general, but she was itching for a drink to make her emotions quieter and knew that cleaning would be able to distract her hands from impatient searching.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?” Moxxie asked as he pulled back from where his wife had brought him into a hug with Blitz. 

“Kind of? It’s complicated and I’m fucking wiped, so I don’t really have the energy to get into it tonight,” he answered with a shrug. He looked up from his employees and then looked towards his daughter, which made Verosika stop and turn towards him so that she could watch what was going to happen. “Hey kiddo. I’m sorry if I worried you, but if you don’t want me here then I can pick up my things and go home with V for the evening. She said that she was willing to give me her spare room for a month or two if I needed it.”

“You… You stupid fucking idiot,” Loona replied. She hadn’t looked up from the kitchen island, her fingers playing with the knife that was laying there from Millie earlier. She brought both of her hands up to her eyes as she released a long whine and then something that sounded very similar to a sob. “I thought that you had left me too! I thought that you had abandoned me when things got tough like everyone does even though you fucking promised me that you were never going to do that.”

“Oh, Loona,” Blitz whispered. He pushed past the two imps that were standing around him and then walked over to her with his arms open. He paused when he got close to her and then took a step back, like he wasn’t entirely sure that his advances were wanted. 

She turned to him and launched herself at him. She buried her face into his neck and then began to heave massive, wet sobs into his shirt. He brought his hand up and rubbed her back, before using the other one to pet her hair so that it wasn’t getting snot and tears into it. It was sweet, even though their massive height difference honestly made the entire scene a bit comical. 

Verosika returned back to setting things away so that the apartment was more tidy. Soon, Moxxie and Millie had joined her as they unpacked the carefully stuffed boxes so that books were back on their shelves and clothes were in tidy stacks in the hamper in the corner. She was definitely going to help the duo look for a two bedroom apartment or buy Blitz some furniture once this was over. Sleeping on the couch wasn’t too bad when it was a fold out, but the item that he currently had looked like it would be more fitting in the back of a dumpster somewhere.

Eventually, the two stopped hugging and fawning over each other. Moxxie and Millie left so that they could get some food, as it was apparently the Wrathian thing to do when someone was upset. Loona helped get the coach set back up with all the pillows and blankets that had been on it before. Meanwhile, Blitz went to shower and change into something comfortable. Verosika texted Fizz and Ozzie to let them know everything that had happened and only put her phone away when she got a promise from them both that they would wait a day or two before they lectured Blitz about scaring them like that. 

Instead, they just messaged him and let him know that they loved him. Barbie did the same thing, Verosika saw the notification of the text on Blitz’s phone while he was getting food in the kitchen with the others. Things were far from over, but Blitz was safe right now an that was what had mattered most.

+1 Stolas

Things had been better for Blitz, recently.

He had gotten into therapy with someone that actually cared about his mental well being instead of just his dollar contribution to their company. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about how he felt without the fear of them telling him how disgusting and degenerate he was because of it. He was able to work through a lot of his self loathing with the help of a trained professional, getting to the point where he was able to objectively find things that were bad and fix them without trying to disintegrate every part of what made him himself in the process.

Verosika was helping a lot too. She picked him up and drove him to every appointment that he had, both to make sure that he would go and so that he had someone to take care of him afterwards. The post-therapy time that they spent together eventually warped back into date nights. She would take him to nice movie theaters and fancy restaurants, spoiling him with the money that she had gotten during her time as a famous pop star. He would take her out to the greasy diners that he loved and walk around parks with her. 

He couldn’t afford much, not since she had helped him get a two bedroom apartment just outside of Imp City. She had a lot of money to throw around when it came to getting furniture for him, but it was easier to accept those things as gifts rather than depending on another person to pay his rent. Loona didn’t seem to mind the girlier things that filled up their apartment as Verosika put her own decorative spin on things, she mostly just liked having her own space while also knowing that her dad was being taken care of.

The business was going really well too. Blitz had stepped back in as the boss once he got to a place where he felt stable enough to do actual paperwork. He took more input from Moxxie and the two of them worked together so that they could draw in the highest amount of clientele. It was a little harder to run multiple hits when they only had one opening to the human world, but they made it work regardless. Moxxie stopped overthinking things when he was working with Blitz and just got down to the basics of what they needed to do, which allowed them to carry out their hits as cleanly and precisely as they needed to.

On top of spending actual quality time with his friends, the people that he viewed as the family that he had lost, he was also spending time with people from his past. Barbie came to a therapy session with Blitz once a month and the two of them talked about what had happened to them when they were kids and then the problems that they faced when they were adults. Fizz and Ozzie invited Blitz and Verosika over for game nights every other week, and Blitz invited them to the family movie nights that he had with the rest of IMP.

He had just returned home late one Friday night. Loona was out with her hellhound friends, something that she had expressed she really wanted during a therapy session that he had with her so that they could get their boundaries properly sorted out. He was still worried about her being hurt the way that he so often had been when he was her age, but he also understood that he needed to let her make her own bad decisions. Mille and Moxxie had just taken Blitz out to dinner so that they could celebrate getting a massive swarm of clients that paid very handsomely, so much so that they could afford to buy a car that ran nicer than the van did and give it specifically to their company instead of relying on Blitz to use his personal vehicle.

He sighed as he sat his keys and wallet down in the basket that Verosika had put on the sorter next to the door. He then slipped off his boots and put them where they belonged. He felt more like he had an actual place in the apartment now, somewhere that his things belonged in. It was better than what he’d had before, like his things were simply dumped on top of furniture that didn’t belong to him and thus making him exist in a space that was not truly his own.

He then bent down and picked up the mail that Loona had placed on the sorter from when she had popped back home to change and redo her makeup. He sorted the things that were supposed to go to the company and had somehow ended up with him, leaving them by the sorter so that he would pick them up when he went to work the next time. He tossed the junk mail into the recycling bin and then paused when he saw the overly loopy handwriting on the front of an ornate letter addressed to him.

He sat down on the couch in his living room as he contemplated opening it. He hadn’t actually gotten around to talking about Stolas in total detail to his therapist yet, there was so much that he had to unpack about his life that it was still sitting on the back burner. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what the Goetia had to say, not when it had totally torn his life apart the last time that he had thrown caution to the wind for him.

Blitz didn’t know how long he sat there with the letter clutched in his fingers, staring down at the words like they were suddenly going to come to life and coerce him back into sex. He knew that was what had happened to him now, he had talked to Verosika about it and she had let him know exactly what words went with what had happened to him and his feelings. Apparently it was pretty common in the show world and the concubus court for someone with power to extort their prey so that they could get sex while pretending like they were helping the victim out. It was exactly what Stolas had done to him, but extra scummy because of the level of power imbalance at play being even more massive than the differences within the concubus court.

He could almost hear the words that Stolas had said to him, the words that made his skin crawl and his stomach roil with disbelief.

When have I ever looked down on you?

I can’t believe you think so low of me.

You’ve come to ravage me.

You didn’t even come when that Striker friend of yours tried to kill me!

Have you come to seduce me?

You are so cute when you are serious.

I have more wine in the house.

Not a single one of their interactions had ever made Blitz happy. He had thought that he needed to feel guilty for using Stolas so that he could spy on his employees at Ozzie’s, but that action paled in comparison to what Stolas had done to him. He had felt guilty and wrong for breaking the deal and stopping the fight for it to continue. He hadn’t even been the one to say that they should change things or that he didn’t want it anymore, even though he hated every minute of it that he had suffered through. Somehow, Stolas had made him feel as though it were his fault that the prince had chosen to alter things and then hadn’t liked how it had turned out. Everything was always Blitz’s fault in that particular relationship, and he now knew that shouldn’t have been the case.

Blitz stood up and threw the letter into the recycling bin with the junk mail. As far as he was concerned, it was.

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S2E4

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Now, folks, I’m a gentle soul. I prefer comedies and romances to drama and angst. But. Every so often. Every now and then. I get a dark hunger for some whump (followed by comfort but lol this episode does not provide that service). And this episode? DELIVERS. HURT THE BELOVED BIRD MAN. HUMBLE HIM. WHEEEEE!

Anyway. S2E4 WESTERN ENERGY HERE WE COME.

“Where the poor pour for you” good GRIEF okay. Also I didn’t know imps came that tiny. Someone help them. And build a Zootopia-esque tiny town for them, if they don’t already have that.

I see divorce settlement negotiations are going well :P It’s so funny to see Stolas being openly petty and bitchy to Stella when Via isn’t caught in the immediate crossfire, because we see through flashbacks (so far) that he really, really didn’t talk back or question her much during their marriage (not never, just not much). This is “don’t you want to just go apeshit” at its most refined. And lol at Andrealphus trying to wrangle Stella; she’s many things but tame has never been one of them and if she wasn’t such an egregious abusive violent bastard it would be more impressive (and I have some Thoughts about her and places this personality trait of hers could go/mean if given proper development, but later in the episode).

Alright, Stolas’ notification that he has a meeting with Ozzie in three days. That puts a timeline on this thing that may become amended by Oops, because after what Stolas is about to go through, I’m not sure he’s able to keep that meeting; and Striker does say “had a royal on the ropes just last week,” and Fizzarolli schedules Stolas for a nooner, so maybe it did need to get rescheduled while Stolas recovered. Not for long, though; a week at most. I don’t know how long people are in the hospital for normally when they get the kind of treatment Stolas gets, but he spends three days to a week in recovery, then still has bandages by the time Full Moon rolls around (whenever it may be)—demonic resilience, even in the face of holy weapons. Also. Where the HECK does blessed rope come from?? (And on the subject of timing, Blitzo spends a week tracking his sister while Moxxie and Millie are working the camper job—does it take Stolas a full week to recover? The chronology is so tiresome to track sometimes.)

But anyway, back to Andrealphus and his stupid face and his transparent attempts at manipulation. He’s kinda bad at this when he doesn’t have any ammunition, but he IS related to Stella, so I wonder if they both compensate the lack of skillful manipulation with pure arrogance. And I do very much question if Stella is as stupid as Andrealphus clearly thinks and says she is, or if she just has different goals and motivations and isn’t inclined to share them. Reducing Stella to an empty-headed spoiled brat just feels wrong in a show (and, frankly, a universe) where nearly every character has SOME sort of hidden depths, even if they’re just hints.

Also: I notice that at this fancy tea place, it’s not just Goetians demons. I see other Hellborn there as well (the lady at the table Striker lands on looks like she’s a succubus shark with very lovely tail fins, good work on the genetic lottery, madam). Interestingly wide social strata. Also, just gonna go ahead and speculate about it here: it’s weird that every ring has localized demon strains, but Wrath’s imps and (I am assuming heavily here, since Bee is hound-shaped and also appears to be the beast tamer in Lucifer’s merry Hellish circus) Gluttony’s hellhounds are at the bottom of that heap. Succubi/incubi, sharks, baphomets, whatever Envy has (possessors, I’ve heard it said? Not in-show yet so idk but I’ll go with it for now), even sinners from Pride—why are they higher on the social ladder than imps and hellhounds? How did that come about?

Very interesting to me too that Striker is clearly not full-blooded imp (very sharky), but he identifies as an imp and also has some strong opinions on his own superiority to the rest of imp-kind. There is a parallel there to be drawn to the real world that I am unqualified to speak on and am going to back away slowly from, but it has been noticed. And it’s also noticed that Striker isn’t immune from the affliction of having deeper waters within, too. Dude has a backstory and I’d love to know it.

Striker is a damn good gunslinger, though, and that’s fun to watch.

Holy balls I finally found the frame with the higher-class demon (maybe lower-ranking Goetia? Given that she has pupils?) who has a purse imp. That is. Deeply uncomfortable, actually.

HA also found Striker’s wanted posters. “Preferably dead please” NICE

Such a change for how Blitzo answers the phone when Stolas calls this time, though. He might just be trying to keep calm and easy because Loona is so distressed, but I also like to think, given his reaction in a minute when he realizes how deep Stolas might actually be in it, that Blitzo might have cooled off slightly since Ozzie’s. They haven’t talked about their issues one jot, but time does tend to take the edge off certain wounds. Time, and having an adventure in the human world together involving their daughters, and maybe skipping a few full moons, it’s really unclear.

“What does he look like, your Highness?” “Hmm…sexy?” “That’s Striker, sir!” Never fails to make me laugh. Of COURSE that’s how they identify who’s got Stolas trussed up on the back of a horse XD Also, this episode is an important one not just for breaking everyone’s illusion about Stolas’ untouchable nature and power, but for breaking the last scrap of fantasy that Stolas is clinging to about the nature of his and Blitzo’s relationship. He isn’t taking this seriously yet, despite the blessed rope, and the fact that Stolas isn’t more worried makes me think he doesn’t know about the previous assassination attempt, because I think he’d be way more concerned if he remembered that this same guy tried to kill him with an angelic rifle. He might know. Because it would be just as in-character for Stolas to know but just shrug and move on because it’s not like anything happened, he’s fine, Striker didn’t get him and he hasn’t ever been seriously physically threatened before. This is another step in Stolas’ painful, painful growing up process. It hurts, but it’s shaping him into a demon who can maybe not just become better for Blitzo and for Octavia, but better for Hell in general. And by better, I mean more willing to look the social structure of it in the face and go “no, this sucks, actually.” Again, I don’t know that Helluva Boss proper is ever going to actually address and try to change these bigger social systems, because that’s a heavy and complicated topic, but providing fanon fodder to create those kinds of stories and fantasies for itself is not a worthless service either, actually.

And for folks who want to blame Blitzo for not coming himself, two things: one, Loona is and should be his priority and he isn’t wrong for that, especially given the suspicious difficulty in getting this necessary appointment (listen it COULD be Slothful negligence, but I think we all know there’s something a little more systemically classist, if not racist, about how it takes FIVE YEARS to get an appointment for a YEARLY SHOT that Loona NEEDS or she is vulnerable to a HORRIFIC DISEASE. If there are hellhound shelters, why aren’t there hellhound clinics with better supplies and this very important shot more readily available?). Two, Blitzo DOES start trying to get to Stolas. Look at the way he breaks the gear shift. Until Millie and Moxxie reassure Blitzo that they can handle this rescue mission, Blitzo is either gonna break the appointment to go handle it himself, or he’s gonna try to ram through this appointment as fast as possible to get to Stolas ASAP. He is trying. There’s so much going on. But Blitzo picks his priority, and he's absolutely right to do so. If Stolas and Blitzo ever discuss that, I doubt Stolas would ever blame him for it, even if he is still disappointed by Blitzo never showing up (necessary as it is to continue breaking these rosy glasses of his so he can more clearly see his reality).

It took me looking it up to finally realize that Striker has a different voice actor for this season. Dude does a good job; it’s close enough to Norman Reedus’ performance that I didn’t notice, but the deeper register does make him sound more dangerous. And sexy. Mustn’t forget sexy. I am fully in the camp that Stolas’ initial “Oh, shit” is because Striker giving off a sinister one-liner and crushing the phone is, in fact, hot. Not entirely negated by the fact that Stolas is finally being clued into the severity of his situation, either.

I genuinely have to wonder if cell phones in Hell are so cheaply replaced that you could probably get them from a vending machine, or if they have healing/regenerating capabilities somehow. That would be more interesting to get information on, actually, but it’s just a recurring gag, there will never be anything deeper there.

Blitzo checks in with MnM, but the fact that he both trusts them and can give them some quick instructions on where to start looking—he’s good at his job and he’s intelligent, okay, he’s SMART and I hope he KNOWS IT. His self-esteem might be in the toilet but I hope he at least knows how intelligent he is. And can we talk again about how Blitzo can spell out loud just fine? I thought maybe he just didn’t care to correct his texts (turned autocorrect off like a legend), but it’s his handwriting, too, that suffers from his horrendous spelling. Why is it that his writing spelling is bad but his spoken spelling is good? Continuity error? Funny bit? Actual medical reason?

Also. Why is titty-haver a recurring insult in this show? I can glean that it’s a flavor of sexism, but. Like. Never heard that one before. Why is it a go-to choice?? Just gonna file it along with “daddyfucker” and try to move on with my day, I guess.

Also, this scene is part of the reason why I spell it “Blitzo” and not “Blitz;” if Blitzo is constantly telling people the O is silent and Nurse Muffy here can’t find his name without that O at the end, then he clearly spells it with the O still (or he had to give his legal name when he made the appointment, but either way: the O is present even if it’s silent, and I’m still not going to hunt down that special character and train my devices to recognize it when we all know the O is silent, and this is the laziness molehill I’m dying on I guess). (I mean, besides, that slashed-O character is an actual character with an actual pronunciation, this is trying to use Cyrillic to spell out your edgy blog title with no regard for what the characters actually are or mean or sound like all over again XD)

I love that the “prick” comment is what causes Karen Fishbitch here to finally vocalize her displeasure instead of just throwing looks. That is so…White Middle Class Mom of her. To point out the most innocuous thing to get offended over. Ugh.

JOEL PEREZ DOES EXCELLENT IN THIS EPISODE OKAY. I didn’t realize he was the poncho-wearing singing imp AND the sleepy doctor but HE’S AMAZING OKAY.

Striker having a theme song that he has to beat off with a stick makes me giggle so hard. I feel like all this comedy is setting us up for something! Almost like it’s about to get really bad!

Cutting back to Blitzo, I love the little shows of optimism he still has now and then. He clearly offended this lady earlier, but he still tries to make conversation while they’re waiting. Just a decent thing to do. I do wanna talk briefly about the kid calling Blitzo a “fire-toad,” though, because that’s a new one. And given the very detailed shading on Blitzo’s frown, we know right away even before Karen says “it’s not polite to call them that to their face, honey” that what the kid just said was pretty offensive.

…and it DOES make me side-eye Ozzie calling Fizzarolli “Froggie,” just a little bit. It’s an adorable nickname. But if a slur for imps is fire-toad…it does give me some Questions. Might be a continuity error or just a terrible coincidence that I don’t think we’re gonna get any answers for (has this been brought up in a panel or anything?), and they’re different enough that I don’t think for a second Ozzie calls him that maliciously or even in a reclamation way. Fizz and Ozzie seem to have been together for long enough that if Fizz really didn’t like it, he wouldn’t tolerate it, so that’s what I’m gonna choose to trust for now.

“I am not from Wrath, bitch” THEN WHERE ARE YOU FROM. Pride is my guess, since that’s mostly where we see the circus, but watching this fish woman throw out racist comment after racist comment (and classist, too, get it all in there), it does make me wonder how many imps from other rings have to deal with the same exact thing. My guess is a lot. (And again begs the question that if imps are Wrath-native demons, how did they end up on the bottom of the totem pole? Especially when we now know Satan is a lava-bleeding brick shithouse with a hot voice??)

And gosh, look, homophobia from a bunch of biker cowboys now. This episode truly has it all!

(And, again, how hardy are imps?? Moxxie is stabbing that guy SO MANY TIMES in the background, good GRIEF—)

Nice to know that it isn’t just Blitzo who causes destruction everywhere he goes; all of IMP has that affliction :P

Stolas giving Striker so much sass is fun to watch, despite the classist undertones. “Your wife must really hate you.” “You have no idea” YEAH STOLAS GIVEN THAT THIS IS HIS SECOND MURDER ATTEMPT ON YOU SPECIFICALLY I THINK HE DOES KNOW. I would also really like to know where the giant statue with the unrealistically huge boner came from, actually. That’s a specific choice. I mean, all of his décor is, but Striker, why THAT??

The voice actor for Striker makes what I assume is a conscious decision with his voice when Striker snaps about how every ring can’t be some fancy city, when he talks about how some folks have everything they love taken away by royal demons. He’s angry, but there’s a note of…something…in his voice that I can’t find a word for. “Pleading” certainly isn’t it, “sad” maybe, “desperate” isn’t it but it’s in the neighborhood…I don’t know. It seems like he’s trying to get Stolas to understand Striker’s position, imps’ position in general. Which is odd given that he’s about to torture and kill him, and clearly doesn’t have any illusions about changing Stolas’ worldview in that time (or that it would even matter), but the slightly softer tone of voice is striking. Pun only a little bit intended. I don’t think that softness is for Stolas, but for his own loss. Which I want to know in all details now please yes. And even more than that, I want to know about the specific royal that fucked Striker over, and if they’re still out there. (Taking bets now that if it’s a royal we already know, it’s either Paimon, Andrealphus, or Vassago, simply because Vassago having a dark past element like that would be DELICIOUS.)

LET THE HURTING OF THE BIRD MAN BEGIN. I love that angelic steel has a sizzle to it when touching Stolas; really adds to the torture.

“All you royals ever do is try to talk over us!” Also specific and I don’t think to this particular situation. Striker doesn’t care that Stolas isn’t the one who fucked him over (presumably); Stolas being part of the class of demons that caused him so much hurt is enough. And this show is violent, but there’s something visceral about watching torture as opposed to Millie tearing through an entire crowd of sharks, something that hits different when watching Stolas’ blood spatter as Striker stomps on his stab wound. Stolas keeping up his fighting spirit and not begging or weeping is…complex, actually. Begging and weeping is a normal reaction, but one that audiences generally tend to read as weak (which is lame given that that’s how most of us would react tbh but we are talking about fiction I suppose), and since Stolas is meant to be a sympathetic character to us, it makes sense to skip that reaction for him. However. HOWEVER. There’s also context for why Stolas doesn’t react to physical pain in the way that Striker clearly wants him to.

The fact that he BARELY FLINCHES when he gets his FUCKING LEG SNAPPED? Hot, but also, “Blitzo handles me rougher than that in bed” I genuinely cannot tell if that’s taunting, or if he’s serious. It would not surprise me if he was serious, especially if higher-ranking demons have a healing factor (and I genuinely don’t remember if that’s fanon or canon, but the fact that Stolas and Blitzo both are surprised that Stolas can get hurt like this indicates to me that even if we don’t see a Goetia or a Sin instantly healing from a cut or anything that isn’t delivered by angelic steel, it’s a pretty solid theory to stand on). Then the stabbing into the broken leg, and “Blitzy’s knife is bigger, and hits so much deeper.” Again…making Striker angry on so many fronts and I respect the hell out of it: sexual overtones that will shortly be more explicitly shown to freak Striker out, lack of reaction to pain that Striker wants but isn’t getting, dismissing Striker entirely (and especially in favor of Blitzo, whom Striker has a little bit of a muddled past with)—this is a strong fucking reaction to torture that I fully believe only comes from prior conditioning. Now. Whether that means Stolas and Blitzo are into some very hardcore kink, Stolas is used to pain from other sources (Stella being the prime candidate), or some mixture of both…the implications of seeing a pampered prince not break under this kind of physical pressure are damn impressive for his character makeup and future arc. Physical pain is nothing to Stolas. Emotional pain, though…phew. He is not built for it. Which Striker attempts to hammer at too, starting with demeaning him, but Stolas is able to irritate him enough to buy himself some time. There’s the tear, which I believe is concession to the physical pain as well as the high emotions he’s operating under, but first round complete. Stolas is somehow holding his own despite being in a very bad place.

I also gotta question “you won’t be worth more than the tombstone you’ll be buried under” being met with “Blitzy says far dirtier things to me with much sharper objects at my throat.” Which. We don’t know if anything Stolas is saying is true (it might be), but Blitzo engaging in degradation/humiliation of that caliber and higher in bed begs some questions about Stolas’ social awareness. Questions that I’m content to let rest for now and see what the rest of season 2 brings, actually. I’ve already talked at length about how Stolas has his own internalized classism and racism that he needs to address, both for himself and for his relationship with Blitzo, so I’ll let it lie for now.

Still amazed that the same guy who voices Valentino of all bitches also voices this adorable sleepy little goat man doctor. THE RANGE. IT IS IMPRESSIVE.

Finally pausing to get a good look at Andrealphus’ Elsa Palace and…it really looks like it’s in a remote location of Pride, looking at the harsh landscape. I suppose Andrealphus just had to…Let It Go when he had this place built? :P (Let’s be real it was probably gifted to him.) Andrealphus’ existence as Stella’s brother raises SO MANY MORE questions for me, too. For a start, they’re two different birds, which I guess is okay since Paimon isn’t a bird at all and still produced Stolas (and Via is an owl rather than a swan, despite having some similar features). For another, Andrealphus has no pupils, like Stolas, and I wonder if the presence of pupils in a Goetia means something. Paimon had them, but he also has a malleable form. Stella has them, as does Octavia, but in the s2.5 trailer when we get shots of other non-bird Goetia members as well as Vassago, none of them have pupils, just solid red eyes like Stolas. In the book the Ars Goetia, Andrealphus is a marquis, ranked lower than Stolas (who is a prince); we can also assume Andrealphus is lower-ranked than Stolas because of Andrealphus listing off all of Stolas’ assets that they (he) would lose access to if Stolas were to be killed (rather than, say, stripped of and given somewhere else, since Via clearly isn’t ready to take her father’s place yet). Andrealphus having a very obvious and physical ability, though—that feels important, especially since Stella shows no such capacity.

Out of lack of ability…or lack of training? The Goetia being patriarchal is a huge possibility, though it hasn’t been outright stated yet (and it could just be coincidence based on the fact that there are way more male characters in the Hellaverse for some reason).

I love that they were just at a fancy tea place, and here Stella and Andrealphus are, drinking MORE TEA at his palace.

I’m gonna say this about Andrealphus’ treatment of Stella: while he does have absolutely flaming (icing??) homosexual energy…the things he says and the way he says them to Stella does come off as very uncomfortably close to incestuous. The more I think on it, the more I wonder if it’s Andrealphus mimicking an older family member or friend who treated Stella in a similar way to assuage her ego and keep her in line, since her temper has clearly been a problem since she was a child. “Silly minx,” “fiery vixen,” tipping her chin with a finger MULTIPLE times—absolutely YIKES behavior, especially from a clearly slimy and manipulative older brother. I suppose they could be adopted, or half-siblings, or even just with a significant age gap; we don’t know how old Andrealphus is compared to Stella. But even if his mannerisms towards her aren’t meant to imply something THAT gross, they’re still horrifically infantilizing and belittling. I don’t want to live in a world where Andrealphus is bringing a sexual element into interactions with his sister, so I will henceforth try to ignore it, but I won’t lie to you folks and say I don’t feel the discomfort or feel the vibe. (Also seems problematic to me to have a big brother character with gay-coded flamboyance also have incestuous tendencies, but the incest might be completely unintentional and just how it unfortunately came out looking. Maybe they’ll fix that in the future. Or maybe they won’t.)

Now, about Stella: she doesn’t seem afraid of Andrealphus, in fact bringing him up to Stolas as someone whose words she takes seriously. She listens to him, is guided by him, but there are some tiny hints and clues that suggest to me that Andrealphus is pretty good at corralling her, if he can’t contain her entirely. He’s fawning over her, gentle and indirect with his wording as he tries to guide Stella into a less rash course of action, until she seems to miss his point completely and then he snaps at her. Now. Does Stella actually miss his point? Or does she just not care? It seems even Andrealphus is taken aback by his own realization that Stolas’ stuff will all pass to Via. And it does not escape my notice that he calls her Via, not Octavia. Stella is unaffected by this assertion, happily living in her dream land where she doesn’t have to deal with Stolas anymore (and therefore gets to be a sexy widow and not a sexy divorcee, which might have a better social reflecting on her anyway, especially if she’s possibly going to get put back on the marriage market or even just search for a more suitable partner herself). She doesn’t care that Via will get all of his stuff. Does this mean she’s stupid and just didn’t realize it? I don’t think so. I think she’s secure in her knowledge that Via inheriting won’t budge her equilibrium. I don’t think Stella WANTS Stolas’ responsibilities and legions and powers. Andrealphus might, but Stella doesn’t. She likes to swan (lol) around being rich and pretty and throwing parties and not having an unsightly blight on her reputation like a boring husband who cheated on her with an imp and then divorced her.

Now. Andrealphus neglects to do something in this conversation that I find fascinating and may be more deeply indicative of how Stella feels about her daughter. At no point does Andrealphus admit the possibility of either manipulating/controlling Via once she gets Stolas’ position, or killing Via and inheriting that way. I don’t think this is because ANDREALPHUS gives two shits about his niece. I think it’s because STELLA might have one or two shits to give about her daughter—and Stella giving shits about something usually means screeching violence from her when threatened or insulted. I may be proved wrong in the upcoming episodes, but I think that with every horrible wretched action and word out of Stella’s mouth, it is suitably complex of her to still care in some capacity about Octavia. We DO NOT KNOW what their relationship is like, if Stella is neglectful or pushy or kind or cruel. We DO know Octavia cares about her mother, cares that Stolas doesn’t love Stella and is taking more time to fight back against her (though Via probably doesn’t see it as fighting back, just plain fighting, because I don’t think she fully understands how terrible Stella has been to him). Andrealphus not suggesting anything untoward happening to Via hints to me that he knows that would not be a productive route to take when trying to talk to Stella.

And Stella is the product of her upbringing just like Stolas: she’s been told all her life that she’s attractive and that’s her most useful quality, that she’s rich and that makes her better than everyone else, that her prettiness and richness are valuable, and hey maybe she’s stupid but at least she’s hot! Her temper is violent, and the fact that she goes to murder as a solution rather than trying to take him for everything he has in the divorce says something about her, too. If Via gets all of Stolas’ things, Stella is still going to be taken care of; she clearly expects her daughter to continue to care for her and maintain her, and if Via can’t or won’t, Andrealphus will. Wanting Stolas dead is about her pride, because how DARE he also be stuck in this boring as fuck and unhappy marriage and then try to get out of it? There is so much about Stella’s behavior that could hint at the ways she was belittled and molded into a seriously unhealthy shape by outside forces. It was her arranged marriage, too, it was her life decided for her from childhood too, it was her utility to produce an heir too. This doesn’t excuse her abuse, but guess what, abusers are also people and have complex motivations and often dark and hurtful pasts and those are important to examine too. Not because Stella’s actions aren’t her fault, but because when you have a female character in a show with a high ratio of non-female characters and she is the only living mother who gets any kind of regular screen time, you want her to have a little goddamn depth, dammit.

Exploring an abusive marriage where the wife is the abusive one is something that isn’t done enough in fiction, IMO; I don’t want apologetics for her, I want explanations. I want reasons. I want her to either be shown to be incapable of feeling conflict because of how badly she’s been screwed over and in turn has embraced her own awful behavior as a deeply maladaptive coping mechanism, or to go through some damn emotional conflict that won’t erase her mistreatment and abuse but will show that she isn’t a one-note harpy wife. Maybe she’s like this because she was made this way (and is too terrible a person to fix it which is absolutely on her but I think there’s blame to share for how she turned out this way in the first place). MAYBE I WANT STELLA TO STAB ANDREALPHUS THROUGH THE HEART WITH AN ANGELIC SPEAR WHEN HE GOES TO ATTACK STOLAS AND BLITZO LATER IN S2.5. MAYBE I WANT THAT.

ANYWAY.

“This kind of situation is extremely unique. A Goetia has never behaved like this before.” Alright I’m calling bullshit, but as I have said before, I do think the Goetia family is more than capable of covering up their scandals. Stolas being an odd duck (owl?) within his own family and thus his drama blowing up without anyone knowing it was coming because nobody bothers to check in on boring stuffy old Stolas (…still want to point out that he’s very young, especially for an immortal demon) is more likely, though.

And here we go, back to the Torturing Stolas channel, where Striker is getting tired of playing with his food and finally finds the ultimate weak point to press: Via. The fact that it makes Stolas go vengeful instead of tearful is another pillar to the STOLAS LOVES HIS DAUGHTER fact of the show. And the knife going all the way through this time makes me wonder if it’s going to have some long-term problems for him. He does have the arm bandage longer than any other bandage that we see, after all, even the broken and stabbed-up leg. I also really want to know what Stolas’ last words were trying to be. “Blitzo…will…” Blitzo will what? Come for him? Avenge him? And I love that Stolas wants his last words to be about Blitzo, not because he doesn’t love and isn’t thinking of Via, but because at this point, he’s already sworn to defend her (even if he really, really can’t), and keeping her out of the conversation is safer for her. Blitzo can handle himself. Via can’t, not against Striker. And Stolas already showed his hand by reacting so vehemently to Striker just mentioning her, so I have no doubt that if and when Striker comes back for Stolas or Blitzo in the future, Via is going to be playing some sort of role in that endeavor.

And not to drive home the point that Striker is poor AF despite being a highly successful assassin, but. Look at his flip phone. Look at the cute little charm on the flip phone. This dangerous violent man has a PHONE CHARM. What a DORK.

I also love that Stolas is so indignant at the idea of “we still need him alive to get some affairs in order.” He might just be reacting to Stella’s voice in general, now that he’s very clear that this whole thing was her doing, but. The AUDACITY of this bitch.

Who wants to bet Striker never got paid for this?

Now. The attempted eye-gouging. I’ve seen it floating around that “if you’re gonna threaten to blind a character, don’t be a coward and do it,” but. Come on. Let’s be a little practical, y’all: if they took any of Stolas’ eyes, they’d have to update the merch :P

THE FACT THAT THE IMP VAN BLASTS LA CUCARACHA. HELL YES.

Splicing the very real life-or-death battle with Striker with the still dangerous but more comedic battle of getting Loona her shot is such a good storytelling choice, actually. Cutting some of the tension while also making it that much more potent, especially as Moxxie and Millie start losing—cutting away from them right as they’re getting their asses handed to them to watch Blitzo getting HIS ass handed to him but in a less high-stakes way is maddening in the best way. Also: Striker’s face when the radio changes to something pop. Beautiful XD Damn this is a good fight scene though. Really showcases how skilled Striker is, because taking on Moxxie and Millie at the same time when they have very focused intent to kill is impressive.

…aaaaand Striker’s immediate discomfort at Moxxie’s unexpected sexual overtones wins me over again. The only sexual harassment I will allow: flustering the villain so the heroes can wreck his shit :P (Please know I am joking.) Tbh Striker has no room to talk, he is LITERALLY FUCKING DROOLING as he strangles Moxxie. This is clearly already kinda kinky for him. He just doesn’t want Moxxie to be into it (very “evil dentist from Little Shop of Horrors” of him).

I genuinely want to know how Striker keeps getting out of these situations. By all rights he should have been impaled on his own stone boner. Sigh. (And I cannot WAIT to see him come back after being burned alive; gonna be messy as HELL.)

Now here’s my question: how in the unholy heck are there so many reporters and paparazzi at the hospital already? I’m assuming Moxxie and Millie called ahead to make sure the hospital could get him taken care of ASAP as soon as they arrived, but what gossip mongers were crouched in wait for that? (Also, the doctors being plague doctor aesthetic: good stuff, very good stuff.) (IF STOLAS KEEPS CALLING THEM LITTLER ONES OR LITTLE CREATURES AFTER THIS ISNTEAD OF BY THEIR NAMES I’M RIOTING.)

And. The tail shot. And the surprise and vulnerability in Blitzo’s face and voice when he says “He can get hurt?”

BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP YOU’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT ALL THE WAYS HE CAN GET HURT IN THE NEXT HALF OF THE SEASON.

I need a minute I am WEAK.

Nooooo twinkly pretty heartbreaking tune how DARE you make this moment where Stolas’ final hope of his fantasies playing out, even just this one time, dies even more tragic. It’s so SAD, IT’S SO SAD. IT’S SO NECESSARY BUT IT’S SO SAD. Let’s make it worse: there’s a game you can play with picking flower petals off a flower and you say “they love me, they love me not.” Whichever you say at the last petal is the universe’s answer to the question of whether or not your beloved loves you. (Please keep in mind this is horseshit as far as reflecting reality goes but it’s a pretty sort of ritual to play sometimes.) Stolas is in a hospital room surrounded by so many flowers they cover the floor. A petal falls…he loves me. Stolas gets a text from Blitzo, hoping he gets “bivver swoon.” Stolas smiles. Responds with thanks, and invites Blitzo to come see him at the hospital. Blitzo types…and never responds. A petal falls as Stolas’ smile fades. He loves me not. Stolas sets his phone down. He rolls over, and another petal falls on his phone. He loves me. Stolas nestles into his hospital bed in contemplation. A fourth petal falls…he loves me not. (Though we don’t know where that petal winds up, and it’s a “he loves me” petal that lands on his phone, so maybe????)

I’m FINE.

I’m so fine that I am going to now move on to the next episode and I don’t have to wait for my misty eyes to clear AT ALL.

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

Why I think Stolitz would be a good couple:

• Blitz can teach Stolas how to use dirty talk (or the Prince can teach himself— via reading— since he’s such a bookworm 😂)

* The former could even with some patience — since there’s a difference between fucking, one-night-stand style, and making love, boyfriend style, — reward Stolas with either praise or using tactility, if guiding him right

* Especially if Stolitz had unanimously agreed on — from both parties — BDSM (the rougher side of sex) it’s been pointed out to me that there are some positive things about it

- Safe-words

- Check-ins

- Aftercare

Especially in comparison to Blitz to sleep with Chaz in 2x03:

- No safe words

- Too rough >>> even enough for Blitz to scream out “CHILL THE FUCK OUT”

- Allopathic (opposite of aftercare)

• Stolas can offer some parenting advice — that he had had experienced with his daughter Octavia — to Blitz when he’s unsure what to do with Loona when she’s angry with him (etc)

• Stolas & Blitz both a virgin of love and what it means to have a proper relationship (Blitz’s “relationship” with Verosika didn’t count since that was more fucking — which is implied — than emotionally invested; least on the latter’s part it was)

• Unlike M&M (not trying to put them down but it is a fact) Blitz and Stolas have the most realistic — which is technically a situationship — affair

Definition of “situationship”:

A romantic relationship that is and remains undefined (communication is required here 🤣)

• Stolas can reach (or help Blitz) in high places — with him being 11ft tall — despite their height differences

• If Stolas and Blitz got into inflamed argument; they could always have angry — and, let’s be honest, earth-shattering — make up sex

• Stolas can show Blitz — through self-education and idealism of romantic movies and books whether they are fiction or nonfiction — what it looks to make love to one another — as well enjoy the rough side of things of sex

• Stolas can calm Blitz if he was blinded by pure rage by — rather than arcing up— he’d get him to see logic about the situation (if he thought it was reasonable, of course!) and get him to see another perspective

• Blitz & Stolas can verbally — and physically — protect one another whether it be derogatory comment about their positions in hierarchy (including their kinds) or if it came down to kidnapping and some form of torture

ie:

“Do we have a problem?” - Stolas to the bouncer 1x07 in the episode ‘Ozzie’s’

• Stolas can help with Blitz’s spelling (if asked; and I feel like if they were in a relationship then the imp definitely would be comfortable asking the former to do it for him or sound it out)

* Stolas can could also help with Blitz’s grammatical errors ie: “It snew last night” vs (correctly) “it snowed last night”

• If Blitz becomes stubborn with something; Stolas can probably go two ways with this he can either be kind and coaxing or can be stubborn himself and resolute (depending what the situation is about and who is involved)

* If Stolas thinks Blitz is being disrespectful — by taking it too far because even he has his limitations 😆— or reckless he can also be annoyed and lecture him (ie: 1x06 Truth Seekers)

• They can teach each have their usual roles:

* Blitz = dominance (rough)

Stolas = submission (gentle)

• If Blitz is upset Stolas is one of the few demons that won’t push him away — despite his unrestrained personality — and had always been the one to support the former

(Although supportive, Stolas does have his limitations when it comes to hurt feelings; hence why wants to obtain the Asmodean Crystal from Asmodeus (in 2x06) , due to the accusation of treating Blitz like a plaything)

• If Blitz particularly stressed about something (example: when he was about to perform in front of an audience in 2x02) Stolas without hesitation will give him TLC (compassion) — whether it’s, physical, verbal, or a little bit of both — and absolute reassurance

• If Stolitz were together and one was seriously hurt (either physically — in most cases — or mentally). The other in question would avenge and kill on his boyfriend’s behalf for mistreatment

* Then again… that could easily happen as well — from the intensity of their love for one another — could also result in the most earth shattering sex of their life from being reunited once again

(It depends how badly — most likely the case Blitz; if the assassination went wrong and was confiscated of his weapons etc — would be abused and if there was any affecting PTSD (etc) attached)

• If Stolas is having a shit day (particularly if involved with Stella and her verbal abuse towards him) then Blitz can always back it up with some loving encouragements

ie:

Negative (Stella):

“You’re a pathetic excuse of a ex-husband of mine.”

Positive (Blitz):

“You’re the best husband ever. I love you so much… and you’re a great dad.”

• No one knows Blitz better than Stolas when it comes to sexually pleasing him (it’s from all the transactional fucking they’ve been doing for “practice” 😈)

Few things they have in common:

* Both dads to their respective daughters (Octavia & Loona)

* Both have dysfunctional dads who had neglected Stolas and Blitz as as children

* Cash did one step worse than Paimon; he actually sold his own son to the Goetia family in exchange for $5 and a condom

* Both enjoy the sex side of things and are sexually compatible together (clearly one-sided — on Blitz’s part ; since he thinks Stolas just views him as a “plaything” — at the moment )

* Both OTT (over the top) when it comes to their daughters safety (etc); since it’s their first child

• Both had / have romantic dysfunctional relationships

* Blitz = Verosika (ex-girlfriend) & Stolas (to a point)

Striker (attraction)

* Stolas = Stella (inevitable; forthcoming; ex-wife) & Blitz

Theory Time:

I think the type of relationship Stolas and Blitz will have (if they DO get together; which I think they will — according to Vizie — I mean most protagonists do anyways) is the one that was foreshadowed in 2x02 “Seeing Stars” where it’s kind of that back and forth playful banter

I mean as we can see Stolas had come a long way since in S1 and that he had stood up for himself with not only Stella but also Blitz as well; whereas in the previous season he’d just let them walk all over him and let himself be bullied

[positivelyghastly]

Ocs. Hand em over

AAAH! Okay, so I’m in work right now and don’t have my IPad so I can’t upload good quality pics but!

Mara, my sweet girl, was the first ghoul oc I made. She started out as a random water ghoul that I had no name for and now she’s my daughter and I love her dearly. I like to base my character designs on actual people at first and then let them evolve from there, so Mara was initially based on Rachel Weiss in The Mummy (my favourite movie lol) and her face has been tweaked and changed every time I draw her until I settled on how she looks in the sketch of her and Aurelia.

The first ✨lore post✨ I made about her is here but I’ve had many many Mara thoughts since then lol.

She works in the offices doing mostly filing and admin because she’s scary good at organising things and keeping tabs on where everything is in the ministry’s filing system. When she’s not doing that, however, she’s either hanging out with her girlfriend Aurelia or is in the nearest body of water. I like to describe her true form as a headlight eel that grew legs. I’m still working on a set design for it that I’ll post in the future but just know she is Very Fucked Up looking and I love her.

Aurelia is the second oc I had a design for, but she’s not the second one I have (that’s Helio). She’s my big beefy quintessence ghoul who is one of the ministry’s healers and sometimes does handywork around the Abbey because she’s 7ft tall and BUILT so she can carry heavy stuff and reach most places without a ladder. She’s also the only character who’s face hasn’t been based on an existing person, she just popped into my head fully formed (I guess my love for buff women is just that strong lol)

My dear Aurelia has never had a thought in her life that isn’t “must help friend” or “tiny pretty girlfriend”. I like to think of her as a gentle giant who is suspiciously kind for a demon, but she’s someone who genuinely really cares about the people around her, making her a pretty good healer because she’s willing to help anyone who needs it.

Her true form is a great, hulking cloud of smoke that she can solidify into a physical form at will. When she gets out of her glamour it’s very hard to get her back in by the nature of her true form. The smoke is difficult to capture and bind with magic and because she really does hate scaring people unless absolutely necessary, she tends to stay in her glamour as much as possible. Her eyes are the only thing that peek out of the fog unless she solidifies her body, glowing white hot and staring into the soul of anyone she sees.

The first time Aurelia saw Mara was a little while after she was summoned. She’d been in the gardens and watched this black mass crawl out of the lake before Mara got back into her glamour, climbing onto shore with a fish between her teeth, and Aurelia was instantly in love. Mara thought it was funny that this huge 7ft ghoul was completely obsessed with her but she’s a sucker for big buff ladies so when Aurelia made a move on her, she couldn’t help but say yes.

I’ve only drawn them together once but I think it’s a pretty good example of their relationship dynamic lol

I have a few others like Helio and Sister Stolas but they’re not as fleshed out as my beloved demon girls. Plus, Sister Stolas was made pretty much just so I can draw a slutty nun lol. I’ll probably post more about those two in the future though!

[nataliaechothorn]

Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel Ocs

Yes i gotten into this fandom cause i ended up really loving and liking and gotten very interested and curious about it so i might as well post up some bio sheets about some of my Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel ocs(which show up in both of the places as much). So here is abit of info about two Helluva Boss/ Hazbin Hotel ocs of mine i use them both in both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel as much also i am always open to rp with others with these two and any other ocs or characters of mine i post in this blog and in the others : Name: Snowlan. Gender: Male (he can use magic tricks to switch his gender around at anytime he wants though but is more often seen male) Speices: Snow Owl Demon. Demon Form: Demon Feral Snow Owl form. Canon Shipped with: None and he is a single bean XD. Looks: He looks close to that Stolas but he has fur on his arms and legs and even on his hands and feet the fur being short but soft and fluffy abit and he has extra eyes like Stolas does but his eyes are all a lovely light blue color he also got scars his shoulders and on his right leg too. He also got a pair of owl wings on his back too but they can be mistaken sometimes for angel wings due to their color so he often keep them hidden under his clothes when around others as much too nervous to show them to others. Personality: Very friendly and easy going and caring and kind but does have a deadly side to him and can get serious and fight when needed and he is very caring to anyone he sees as a friend or becomes good friends with him, he won’t pause to step in to protect others he is close to as well too and seems to know some strong ice and wind element magic around as well. Extra Facts: He is my first Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel sona with Grimlock coming in second to him being my second sona as much since both have some bits of facts that i also relate to me in a way too. He also wears a golden bracelet around his right wrist that has heart shaped light blue diamonds on it. When he gets shy or nervous his feathers and fur will stick up as well too and he can get shy and blushful easy sometimes too depending on what is going on as much. (now for Grimlock’s bit of info): Name: Grimlock. Gender: Male. Speices: Beetle/Moth/Shadow Demon Hybrid. Looks: He is around 9 feet tall and has purple colored eyes and has a pair of beetle wings on his back that are hidden under his clothes. He also got clawed hands and his feet are also clawed and are pawed feet and he got alot of perment scars on his body mostly on his chest and back and neck. He also got two sets of arms too which can come in handy when he wants to do more then one thing at a time he also got antanna’s (know i spelled that wrong for sure XD) on the top of his that are long and actually are also soft to touch and have fur on them he also got some fur on his back too which hides three very deep scars on his back too. Personality: Very quiet and keeps to himself most of the time but if others are patient and gentle with him he will open up abit and talk with them and try to get to know them more better around he has some trust issues since he went through alot in his past and been betrayed by others he trusted and lost many he cared about in his past too and seen alot of things that left him pretty shut in with his feelings and emotions as well. Even if he acts cold and serious he can be actually very kind and caring when given the chance to and he seems to have a soft spot for others shorter then him or to those who are very kind and sweet around and are not all that bad, he will sometimes tense up or pull away when touched at times this is cause he went through some abuse in his past and it just a reaction from that as much. He does love and care about anyone who ends up becoming friends with him and will protect others he cares about alot even if it means getting injured if that is what it takes he also very strong and has the type of the body that shows that he is very strong and would make a good bodyguard if hired for something like that. He knows some shadow and ice magic around and is quite fast and has fast reflexes as well too and can be very intimating and serious and quite a scary sight at times when really mad or angry or upset on high levels. Extra Facts:  - He wears a golden necklace with a heart locket around his neck and it was a gift from someone he knew in his past and he always has it with him. - He had a wife and a son but both where killed though and he does not like to being it up or be mentioned about it since it is painful for him to talk about it as much. - His eyes will sometimes change color depending on his mood in fact as well too and sometimes if others watch carefully they can tell on what mood he is but watching his eye color but it does not always happen though and it happens randomly at the most. - He also got a soft heart for kids too being that after all he was once a father of his own child and all and still has the fatherly nature there in him. -He also wears a collar with red diamonds on it around his neck too maybe wears it to hide the scars on his neck as much since he gets tense sometimes when others see his scars and tries to hide them most of the time from others seeing them if he can. - He also got a thick and strong demon tail as well. - He looks very much suited to be a bodyguard type having the nice and strong body build for that kind of stuff as much even though he never been hired to be a bodyguard or had anyone ask him to be one for them. - He also got a gentleman side to him too and can be if he wants very unexpected gentle towards those close to him. -Oh yeah he can also change his wings from beetle wings to moth wings if he wishes too as well since he can change his wings type pretty much. ( for now that is all that i have about these two and all i will add more for them both over time for sure and all as well put in more of my ocs over time for sure)

[chaifootsteps]

Another thing I like about Before!Stolas is that his kindness and joy reached everyone around him, i think there are some posts where he's cheerful or appreciative to Moxxie and Millie or atleast he sees them on the same level as Blitzo. He even doodle them. There's also a post where Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie were hanging out and Stolas made a post saying he wants to join them I think? That's so soft, i mean the Present!Stolas would probably be like 'BLITZY SHOULD BE WITH ME INSTEAD' Present!Stolas really shows passive-aggresiveness to anyone who isn't Blitzo and that makes him more annoying and controlling in my opinion. Have a great day btw thanks for reading!

Oh my god, Before!Stolas was so, so nice to Moxxie and Millie. Like, he adored them. He and Moxxie were at the very least friendly acquaintances, toeing the line of actual friends.

I’m only including these two examples for brevity and because scrolling through Stolas stuff upsets me, but I know there were more. I know there was one where they discussed cooking.

And there was this, and this was a nice thing about those days. We still had Blitz being annoyed with Stolas’s antics, still signs that they were on different wavelengths and had a long way to go before they landed somewhere entirely healthy, but it was Blitz being annoyed because Stolas was silly and flirty and a little overbearing, not because Stolas was forcing him into sex. Stolas just did a nice thing for the entire office with no expectation of reciprocation.

And like you mentioned, there’s this...

Which I’ve posted before, but never really touched on the significance of that little ‘married’, the gentle pedestal on which he places Moxxie and Millie’s relationship. In a page of doodles brimming with his overwhelming love for Octavia and Blitz, inspired by Blitz’s art streams and noticeably including things Blitz loves, he includes a picture of Moxxie and Millie --  two little imps who inspire him with their relationship. Moxxie and Millie, who have everything he’s ever dreamed of.

Before!Stolas was kind to Moxxie and Millie because they were his beloved Blitz’s employees, but also just because he liked them, and because kind was who he was. 

Fuck...I’m legit tearing up a little.

[hazbincalifornia]

Midnight Musings

Chapter 43:  Blitzo muses to himself about what he wants.

Ao3 link

Blitzo turned over on the couch, hugging his legs in as close to himself as could with the baby belly in the way.

He was originally going to have somebody replace the broken bedframe tomorrow, but it seemed kind of useless if he was going to get a new one whenever they moved into the new place anyway, so it was going to be left for the landlord along with a twenty taped to the headboard and a good, solid middle finger for never dealing with the stupid mold in the bathroom.

In the dim red of night (it was never pitch black in Pride, the red moon always filtering through the curtains) he couldn’t say that he was exactly ecstatic to be moving into a new apartment on Stolas’s dime, but… he couldn’t say that he wasn’t either, not with the way Loona had thanked him again. Seeing her happy was nice, and she’d actually given him a half-hug back when he’d nearly squeezed her out of her fur after she’d said that she was going out tonight. He’d made her promise to be careful and that he loved her. She’d brushed it off but squeezed him back for a second, and that totally counted.

Still, her going out for the night just left him with…

Blitzo groaned as he pushed himself back up, staring down at his stomach. He could still practically see the little squirming owl-like lump burrowed under the flesh and blood, and even though she wasn’t moving right now, she weighed at him both literally and metaphorically.

Red and white arms draped over the warm flesh as he sighed, tracing aimless circles over where scar met skin. An image of her popped into existence on top of his belly, blinking up at him (he didn’t know eye color but he pictured them being red) and giving one of those adorable little chirpy hoots that Stolas did when he was excited. Yellow teeth dug into lips hard enough to bleed as he groaned, tail squirming against the cushion.

Fuck, he was getting broody. Kinda fuckin’ ironic, considering the whole bird thing, but…

She vanished when he buried his face in his arms. Underneath them, the real kid shifted, irritated by whatever weepy daddy-chemicals he was leaking all over her cozy little meat-palace, and he let out a breath. “C’mon, honey, it’s not- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, okay?”

In response, he felt a jerky twitch at the muscles in his arm, like someone had plucked a rubber band on the tendon. The fingers rolled like the legs of a spider as he stared down at it. “Hey! I thought that was a one-time thing, am I gonna have to start using tranquilizers to sleep again so you can’t drag me halfway to Wrath?” He tried to shake his arm, and to his surprise, the connection broke almost immediately. It seemed that when he was awake, his willpower was enough to push her back, at least once exerted on purpose. That was good to know, and also made the whole thing at least marginally less terrifying. His heart was still hammering, though, and he set his palm flat against his stomach before starting to rub at it again. “You just want a massage, huh? You really are a spoiled brat already, geez.”

Wisps of that same contentment as before trailed up his nerves, along with a tiny and muffled warbling coo. It wasn’t nearly as strong this time, but it had started the exact moment he’d started rubbing his stomach, so it had to be the kid saying ‘hi’ in the only way that she could short of bruising the inside of his skin by going for the boxing championship. It was a cheaper high than coke, at least, and a soft smile spread across his face at both the sound and their shared sense of serenity.

“You’re really comfortable in there, aren’t you?” Blitzo kept up the gentle movements, and a purr rumbled through his body. He wasn’t entirely sure which of them had drawn it up, but it was as clear as the engine on a new car, and his fingers curled into a fist before he groaned again and the purr stuttered out.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He could imagine that little owl-imp curling her little tail around his wrist, chirping up at him, then sliding off and shooting up to a toddler in a little pair of overalls like the ones Stolas had mentioned Octavia in, growing up into a whole little person he could try and do right by for once, and the thought of just… just…

This was the better option. He couldn’t be a selfish bastard and just demand that she deal with his shit when she wasn’t old enough to still be her own person outside of him, even if they were going to have a better place to live. Having his genes was bad enough, but having him raise her from birth? He’d fuck that up, no question. Satan knows what his dad did with the time that he’d had.

But he also knew what not to do, what to avoid to keep them from feeling like they wanted to claw out of their own skin and use someone else’s as a pelt. He’d been doing somewhat okay with Loona so far, hadn’t he? Even though that was a really, really different…

…Oh, goddammit, Loona. He couldn’t just rip her from this tentative peace they’d finally achieved over the past week or so, even though it had come mostly because of his breakdown and she probably just pitied him and that would wear out its welcome soon enough. She’d be back to his fierce, headstrong girl soon, all ruffled edges with a flash of teeth that hid the squishy heart that longed for stability and love underneath. Blitzo knew all too well what it felt to be left behind, to be treated like second fiddle, and even if he might maybe- he couldn’t do that to her, he just couldn’t.

Baby nudged outwards again, and his tail wrapped around his middle and squeezed it, getting another little burst of sun-bright joy that exploded like overheated yogurt.

“I told you, you deserve better than me, kid, give it to somebody who deserves rapturous joy who can’t get it by getting laid,” Blitzo muttered, but there was gravel layered into the words now. His hand twitched again, and his tail swished as he allowed it this time, arm tingling with the weirdest pins and needles he’d ever felt in his life. It was almost like someone had tied it off at the shoulder, sensation hot and numbed at the same time as it moved through the air like mud. His fingers clumsily twitched before settling right back down on his middle, patting at the side. “Geez, you’re as much of an attention whore as your daddy, you get control and that’s what you-” The sentence died as the arm paused before moving upwards, index and middle finger hooking into his bottom lip and tugging them down. It was fucking bizarre- and the only thing weirder was the fact that tears were starting to prickle in his eyes.

He’d almost lost them. Fucking dammit, he’d almost lost himself. It wasn’t as close as he’d gotten before, but it was on that razor-edge and the nearly-healed scratches on his back proved it. And now? Now he was sitting on his couch in the mostly-dark with contentment creeping through his blood as the magic baby in his guts who already loved him too much to be fair tugged at his mouth like it was an untwisted balloon. He squeezed his eyes shut as their fingertips caressed his cheek, moving haltingly but also in a way that made him think far too much of both Stolas and his mother at the same time, saliva trailing over the flushed skin.

“You’re just a dumb kid, you don’t know anything,” he muttered, eyes dropping down, but the only answer was another pleased hum of mellow, cozy magic that faded as control returned to him. It felt lonely, somehow, even though he hadn’t actually been alone in five months now, not really. “You’d be this fuzzy with anybody. Maybe Stolas could have knocked up that little butler or something.” Somehow, he couldn’t see it. Somehow, he didn’t want to.

Somehow, the image of her tiny beak yawning refused to leave his head.

A little hand pressed out, and he automatically set his down to meet it, biting at the lip their hand had just been running fingers over. Curious, so curious about a world that would probably tear her up and spit her out for who she was.

A few weeks after he’d brought Loona home, she’d fallen asleep on the couch when they’d been watching a movie of her choice together. It was some dumb comedy she’d chosen to mock as well as to drool over the leading man, but when she’d gotten drunk enough to pass out, her head had landed on his lap and she’d started making a rumbly noise, ears twitching at the sound of his breath. He’d damn near bawled his eyes out. They were still working on it, even four years later they were still working on it, but he lived for those moments, for the snippets of proof that he’d helped, that he’d managed to not fuck up one thing in a long line of fucking things up and setting fire to the ashes.

When he pressed his fingertip against the tiny hand, he wasn’t entirely sure what would be fucking up anymore, and that? That was fucking terrifying.

[g-on-ef]

Hey if you’re still doing that 50 cliches and prompts, perhaps we can get a crumb of #23 for Blitzo x Striker? 👉👈

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A\N: Nonnie you ask for crumbs and I'll give you the whole bread ^^ also if you guys want send me some Striker x Blitz prompts of your own or one from this list ^^

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#23: “Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”

Striker was fighting to remain conscious, the past thirty minutes have not been kind to him...especially with the bitch Stella trying to get back at him for shooting her.

Earlier today Striker got a call from Stella to come to her as she had a new plan that she wanted Striker to carry out, a plan that could finally break Stolas.

When he came to her palace Stella told him her plan.

“Why kill the cheater when you can break his spirit,”

“Don’t you already do that every time he’s reminded that he’s marry to you?”

Stella glared at the imp, the one thing she hated about him is his mouth and his constant snide remarks.

“I will ignore what you just said, now onto the plan, the best way to get back at Stolas is to kill the most important person to him in all of Hell,”

“Octavia?”

“Touch her and I will kill you myself,”

“Well you did said you don’t care who I have to go through to kill him so technically-”

Her hand slammed on the desk she was sitting behind.

“Touch my daughter and I will put you through such agony that’ll make Lucifer himself coward in fear,”

Striker bit his tongue, he knew when he had pushed his luck and he could see he was pushing the last of Stella’s buttons.

“No the one I want you to kill is the piece of shit that ruined everything, the thing that Stolas continues to see, I want you to kill Blitzo,”

The minute that name slipped out of her mouth Striker did not hesitate to take his blessed tip revolver and shoot her with it.

Her guard was down so she didn’t have the time to move until it was to late, the gun hit her right in the torso going right through her, paralyzing her.

“Ahh!” she shouted, Striker was getting ready to shot her again when the door open and someone grabbed him or try to.

Striker was able to handle the bodyguards that came in, being a wrath imp mixed with Lilith’s bloodline gave him enough strength to beat the shit outta the guards...but not enough to defend himself from Stella who had her own gun and shot him, her aim wasn’t good so all she was able to do was shoot his shoulder.

Striker screamed as he felt the pain, before he could do anything, one Stella’s guards pulled out an angel weapon and stabbed him with it.

The pain was the unbearable, falling to his knees his attacker began to stab his back making the assassin scream.

“Stop!”

The attacker turned to his queen.

“Taking him to the dungeon, I will deal with him there,”

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Striker held Blitz closer to his body, he’s never been this gentle with someone before. Never took his time with someone and enjoyed their body.

Never appreciated every sound his partner made or the expressions they made whenever he was pleasuring them.

Normally he would fuck them as fast as he could and leave, with Blitz he couldn’t do that.

The past three nights have been amazing, ordinarily Striker didn’t do this he didn’t try to get to know people, hell he tried to keep them as far away from him as possible, especially if he was gonna go through with his plans he couldn’t afford to have any weaknesses, nothing the overlords or royals can use against him.

And yet here he was, pleasuring Blitz, slowly moving in and out of him.

The feeling of his walls around his cock made Striker groan in pleasure, he took in every moan, whimper, whatever sound came out of Blitz he listen to it and tried to engraved it into his memory, knowing this will be the last time they ever get to be like this.

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He opened his eyes and watched as Stella glared at him, her servants pushed her around in her wheelchair as she stared at him with such hatred that Striker was surprised that the bitch didn’t have the ability to turn him to stone or kill him with her glare.

“Why the fuck are you protecting him?! He chose my good for nothing piece of shit of a husband and you still protect him?! He doesn’t care about you!”

Striker stared at her, he knew what she was trying to do, his sperm donor always told him people would say anything to hurt you so if they aim low than you aim lower.

“It pisses you off doesn’t,”

Stella glared at him before Striker continued,

“That one lowly imp managed to capture not one but two powerful beings attention, your husband and me, Lilith’s bastard. One tiny lowly imp has two of your puppets wrapped around his finger. Someone who’s supposed to be superior than imps, and yet every dick that you want to be fucked by is either getting fucked or fucking the imp that you hate,”

Stella’s cool facade fell as she lifted her fist and punched his stomach, the punch shouldn’t have hurt but because Stella’s rings were made of angel weapons it definitely was going to leave a mark.

“Kill him, make sure he doesn’t make it out of this alive!”

Striker closed his eyes ready to accept death and Her embrace, the last memory he had was the last night he and Blitz made love to one another, the night were Blitz and he curled around each other silently promising each other a piece of their heart to one another.

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When he opened his eyes he was met with a bright light he blinked trying to clear the bluriness of his vision.

“Am I dead?”

“No but you’re gonna wish you were when I am done with you,”

Striker turned his head to the voice that sound awfully like Blitz’s.

Oh, it is Blitz and he was angry.

“Uhh...hi?”

“Hi! HI?! You’re ass has been lying in this bed for the past 22 hours we almost lost you and all you have to say is HI? YOU FUCKING DICK!”

Striker lifted himself up and watched as Blitz continued to glare at him.

“Do you have any fucking idea how scared I was! Fuck if it weren’t for the mating bite and Lady Lilith helping us we wouldn’t have saved you!”

Oh...right...he forgot that he gave Blitz a mating bite.

“Blitz-”

“Do you have any idea what was going through my mind when I felt your pain? What I was feeling when I heard your screams?!”

The city imp got up from the chair he was sitting on,

“I almost lost you! I almost lost the first person to show me respect, to remind me what it was like to be loved and all you have to fucking say is hi!”

Striker looked at Blitz who was crying now,

Striker grabbed Blitz and pulled him on his lap as the city imp cried into his chest.

“Lady Lilith told me, told me that bitch tortured you because she wanted me dead! Why didn’t you tell her about me?! Why didn’t you just tell her where I was at so that she could’ve let you go?!”

Hearing that made Striker growled.

“You fucker you really think I would let her hurt you?!” he pulled back and grabbed the imp by his shoulders.

“I’ll die before I’ll let anyone touch you!”

“Don’t fucking say that! You almost die because of me!”

“And I’ll do it again if I have to!”

Blitz was getting mad, he didn’t want Striker to die because of him hell he didn’t want Striker to waste his time with someone like him, he deserved better and yet Striker nearly died because of him, and here he was telling him he would do it again without hesitations.

“FUCK! Why?! Just tell me why the fuck would you do that?! Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?!”

“Because I’m in love with you!”

Striker’s eyes widen as did Blitz’s. Fuck that was not supposed to come out of his mouth, hell he was never supposed to tell Blitz that he loved him, that was a secret he was going to take to his grave and yet...and yet he didn’t regret saying, he didn’t regret telling Blitz the truth, his city imp deserved to hear those words.

“You...you dickwad no you don’t! You don’t love me! You can’t!”

Blitz curled in on himself not sure if he could believe what Striker was saying. He couldn’t be in love with him...right?

Striker wasn’t surprised that Blitz didn’t believed him, from the time they spent together Striker knew that Blitz had low self esteem and when Striker listened to him he thought he was playing with him but was surprised to learn that Striker genuinely cared for what he had to say, that he paid attention and wanted to learn more about him.

He had to tell him he meant it when he wanted to know more about Blitz even when he didn’t believe him.

“I’m in love with you,” he took Blitz’s face in his hands and place a kiss on his forehead, cheeks, the scars on his face.

“I love you Blitz, I’ve been in love with you since I heard about you,”

Blitz looked at him, before wrapped his arms around Striker’s neck and kissed him. the cowboy and the city imp kissed as if it would’ve been their last day in hell.

In a way it almost was, Striker thanked  La Santa Muerte , for watching over him and making sure he returned to the one he loved.

Blitz was thankful towards Satan that Striker was alive and that he was here with him, the two pulled back for some much needed air, Blitz rested his head on Striker’s chest wanting to listen to his favorite sound in Hell. Striker’s heart beat.

“Promise me, promise me that you’ll stay by my side forever,”

“I promise you forever Blitz, when time wants to tear us apart I’ll stay by you, I promise you always; never will I wander from you never will I leave you; I promise you eternity, that even when our time comes and we are reincarnated into the next life I will always find you. I promise to love you Blitz my heart, soul, and body is yours forever and always and way pass eternity,”

“Wow...” Blitz pulled back and looked into Striker’s eyes.

“That was some fancy words you just used,”

Striker just smiled as he pulled Blitz closer to his body.

“For you and only you,”