#I also made a new logo so I don’t have it write it every time I hope its not too annoying

[fatratinatophat]

Worlds ugliest comic award goes to me.

Idk how to do backgrounds so it looks awful, any tips are highly appreciated. I didn’t try very hard on the panels can you tell?

Also if you couldn’t tell this is a pretty indulgent and very specific headcanon of mine where both the craft siblings are EXTREMELY protective of each other and will smack tf outta people who bully the other one. Shrimpo won’t tease one if the other is nearby cause he knows he’s gonna get either slapped or scratched. I can already bet nobody’s gonna like this but I spent too much time on it so I’m posting it anyways

Ik Shrimpo is the only character here with no headcanons, I plan to make a design for him but I’m still working on my references right now (Will be posted dw) so I’m focusing on them

Bonus without extra background stuff below

[azzibuckets]

Okay but can we get a blurb about Azzi being in Montana before her and she wakes up to P getting home and sliding into bed trying not to wake her

sappy and sleepy [pazzi]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

a/n: anon i tried to incorporate as many of your requests as i could! thank you for this prompt it was super fun to write

word count: 1.2k

masterlist

As soon as her hand twisted the doorknob and the door creaked open, Azzi’s heart ached. She swore she could smell the lingering scent of Paige’s perfume, even though the rational part of her mind knew that Paige hadn’t stepped foot in the room for almost an entire year.

Although Paige hadn’t grown up in this room, her mom had it reserved for her when she came back during the summer, giving her daughter the liberty to decorate the space however she liked. And now Azzi appreciated it more than ever, because looking at the posters plastered with UConn greats and husky logos felt as familiar to her as home. Now only one thing was missing.

Azzi flopped on the bed, tired from the plane ride over. She cursed when she realized she’d forgotten her charger at home. Hopefully Paige had a spare one, she thought as she started rummaging through the drawers of her beside cabinet. As soon as she opened the first drawer, though, a polaroid fell out.

Azzi’s heart doubled in size when she flipped the polaroid over to find a photo of herself from the Minnesota state fair from two summers ago. In it, she was holding a cone of ice cream, chocolate sauce dripping all over her fingers. Tucked under her elbow was the stuffed animal that Paige insisted on winning for her every year (and Azzi never got tired of it). She had been smiling hard, her eyes crinkled as she stared past the camera. Shaking her head, Azzi snapped a photo of the polaroid.

💗: You’re such a sap

💗: Attachment: 1 Image

bighead: ?? where did you find this.

💗: In your drawers

bighead: when did i give you permission to go through my things🤔🤔🤔

bighead: and im taking this as a sign you got home safe?

💗: You’re not distracting me from the fact that you creepily have photos of me all over your room

bighead: youre being so dramatic

bighead: and you can’t blame me

bighead: i always miss you so much

bighead: now you know what it’s like to be in montana all bored without ur gf

💗: Don’t say that. You have your family

bighead: you’re my family

💗: Tell me that when you put a ring on it

bighead: oh i will

Azzi bit her cheek, trying not to beam from Paige’s text. “Azzi! You ready for lunch, hon?” Amy’s voice called from downstairs. Azzi stuffed the polaroid back in the drawer and clambered down to the kitchen.

“Hey, Amy. Thank you again for letting me stay,” Azzi said, going in for another hug.

Amy airily waved her hand, leading Azzi to the dining table. “No worries at all. We‘ve got a lot of exciting stuff planned for this week. Mini golf tomorrow with the kids, then this new restaurant is opening up on Tuesday and I thought it would be a nice date night for you and Paige so I already made a reservation for the two of you!”

Amy continued talking excitedly about their stay at Montana, and Azzi appreciated it, she really did, but she was also exhausted from the plane ride and all she wanted to do was be in Paige’s arms after way too much time apart. The ESPYs photos that Paige had posted an hour ago didn’t help either. Her girlfriend had looked so damn good, her hair up in that style Azzi loved, and Azzi had spent more time than she was willing to admit staring at the photo, wanting to run her hands through that hair.

Later that night, Azzi put on Love and Basketball on her laptop as she got ready for bed. Paige couldn’t facetime because she was at a party, but Azzi still wanted a little piece of her girlfriend with her before she fell asleep, just a little something to make her dreams a little sweeter.

💗: Attachment: 1 Image

💗: Heard you liked this movie??

bighead: you miss me SO much

💗: I do

bighead: then i got some good news ;)

💗: What

💗: Paige?

💗: Helloooo

💗: I’m not gonna repost your espys post.

bighead: oh hey i’m back😁

💗: You’re a fucking idiot

bighead: wait can you repost the second slide i look the best in that one

💗: Tell me the goddamn good news

bighead: Attachment: 1 Image

bighead: flight leaves in 1 hour!!

💗: Wait I thought you had a morning flight?

bighead: well the shoot tmr got canceled and i missed you too much so…..

💗: You’re wasting all your money booking these last minutes flights.

bighead: you dont gotta worry about me baby

💗: 🙄 Text me when you’re home and I’ll let you in

bighead: no don’t stay up baby i won’t home until like 3 am

💗: I wanna see you

bighead: $10 you’re gonna be crashed out

💗: I guess you’re gonna be spending all your money today then

••••••••••

“She’s asleep, isn’t she?”

Amy wrapped her daughter in a hug. “Don’t you dare wake her up.”

Paige shook her head. She was slightly disappointed she wouldn’t be able to talk to Azzi tonight, but she was glad the younger girl was getting her rest. She slipped into the room as quietly as she could, her heartbeat speeding up as soon as she saw the lump on the bed.

Kneeling down, Paige brushed her fingertips over the crease in Azzi’s forehead, trying to smooth over the worry lines. Azzi looked ethereal in her sleep, the moonlight from the window casting a glow over her face and illuminating the sharpness of her jaw and the pinkness of her lips. Paige pressed a light kiss on her cheek, trying to be as gentle as possible, but before she knew it, Azzi was stirring.

Her eyes slowly fluttered open. “Paige?” she groaned, hands going to rub her eyes.

Paige smiled guiltily. “Hi, baby,” she breathed out. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, it’s okay.” Azzi reached for Paige, still half asleep, and Paige sat at the edge of the bed and let her girlfriend nuzzle her face into her stomach.

Paige ran her fingers through Azzi’s hair, marveling at how she managed to smell so good all the time. “Is now a good time to say that you owe me $10?” she whispered.

“Shut up,” Azzi whined, her fingers jabbing at Paige’s ribs but failing to do much damage with her sluggishly lethargic movements.

Paige chuckled before brushing one last kiss against Azzi’s temple. “I’m gonna get ready for bed,” she said softly. “I’ll be right back.”

“No.” Azzi’s voice was surprisingly demanding considering how sleepy she was. “You woke me up, now you’re staying.”

Paige rolled her eyes. She hated the idea of getting into her sheets while in her dirty airport clothes, but once Azzi’s hands clutched tighter around her waist, she knew she was a goner. Sighing, she slipped under the covers with her girlfriend. Azzi happily burrowed herself in Paige’s chest, weaving her leg between the blonde’s. Her hand slipped up Paige’s shirt and rested there, palm on her abdomen, and Paige shivered at the bare contact.

“I really did try to stay up,” Azzi whispered, already falling asleep again.

“It’s okay. Go back to sleep, hm?” Paige tightened her hold around Azzi. The last two weeks had been ridiculously fun, getting to see Nika again, going to partnership events, and presenting at the ESPYs, but this was by far her favorite part - when she and Azzi were so tangled up, every part of their bodies interwoven, their limbs and hair and even the beating of their hearts connecting, it felt like they were breathing as one.

[afternoondreaming]

No Business Like Show Business (1/?)

It’s no secret that Mr. Puzzles isn’t the most…Creative guy around. So he makes the shrewd business decision to hire you- the screen writer! What could possibly go wrong? [Okay so my secret is that I adore Mr. Puzzles and that he’s my comfort character but I…Really don’t like SMG4 as a whole. Personally I just don’t like the show when the TV ain’t in it. So, forgive me if anything is inaccurate in regards to the world or lore! I’m working off the Wiki here ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡. Either way, this is the first of hopefully many chapters! Lemme know if you want more! Also RIP formatting]

The TV producer sat in his chair, hunched forward with his elbows against his knees as his electronic head rested against his steepled hands. Darkness ensconced him in his eerily quiet office, only the dim light of his own screen and the countless monitors in front of him for any light. His defeat at the hands of the SMG4 crew had been… Humiliating, to say the least. Not only did they beat his screen in, but they had bested him at his own game. What he dedicated his very life to. Television. They had gotten their five stars so much quicker than he did and with seemingly much less effort. There was no possible way the crew had studied more in the realm of film and video than him— he had literally seen everything! From eternal classics to infomercials, Mr. Puzzles could perfectly recall every piece of cinema ever created. And, despite all that work, he still lost.

“No, no use in dwelling on that now.” He muttered to himself, aching for a smoke. “What can I do differently…?” Rising from his chair, he began to pace his office as he wracked his brain. Perhaps branch into Japanese styled game-shows? No, he couldn’t possibly. If his ultimate game-show didn’t work, then zany Japanese game-shows wouldn’t, either. Maybe foreign films? Too niche an audience and it wasn’t as if his Italian endeavor went splendidly. What hadn’t he copied (or rather referenced) yet? There had to be something…!

His frantic patrol of his office stopped short. Maybe… That was the exact problem. He hasn’t made anything new. His knowledge of all things film was encyclopedic, but his creative muscles? Woefully inept. He had always produced everything alone. Scripts? Him. Effects? Also him. Hosting? Who else could possibly do that job? Not as if he would let anybody else take the helm; but if he hired a screen writer… Maybe he could finally write an original enough script to get a five star rating. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

You had heard of Puzzlevision before, I mean, who hadn’t? They were a juggernaut of the industry. Pumping out content hand over fist (for better or for worse). Yet, they were an enigma of a company at the same time- nobody ever seemed to have any work connections to them despite all the content they produce. It was the golden ticket of job opportunities. So, just like many of your coworkers, you submitted your résumé to their business address. Never expecting to hear anything back like the many others who tried their hand at it. However, currently, you sat in shock staring at the letter you just opened on your desk. The small TV logo on crisp letterhead, with a whole message to boot.

‘Dear Applicant,

Puzzlevision Studios has reviewed your submitted résumé and would like to thank you for your interest in our company. Given your stated qualifications and past headed projects, we would like to offer to you the title of Screen Writer. If you would like to pursue this opportunity, please visit the studio at the return address during regular business hours.’

Puzzlevision had never even answered applicants before, much less an affirmative response. Surely more talented writers had to have applied? It wasn’t as if you were inept. In fact, you had worked on many successful projects. Leading them through any bumps in the road you might have faced and being well regarded amongst your peers. But, a job at Puzzlevision… It all seemed too good to be true. Your coworker, Tori, rounded your shared cubicle wall to say her good mornings to you as she always did. “Yo!” She chirped, leaning on your shoulder as she looked ahead of you absentmindedly. “What’s got you so star struck? …Oh shit.” Her eyes must have skimmed your letter, given she was now just as shocked as you. “Well look at you! I can say I worked with a big shot before they got big~!”

“Yeah…!” You replied, excitement beginning to replace the shock. Of course you had to take this! You liked your company, sure, but anyone would give for an opportunity like this. “I gotta draft my resignation…! Pack up my cubicle, get my clothes dry cleaned for the interview- oh God I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Chill, chill!” Tori crooned, patting your shoulder gently when she removed herself from it. “No need to panic. That’ll get you nowhere. Just take your PTO today and draft the resignation while you get your things in order. Once you get the gig, we’ll grab a celebratory dinner, ‘kay?”

“Definitely!” You quickly grabbed the things you had just set down to start your day, ready to depart posthaste for all your prepping. “Tell the boss I’m outta here! Text you later!” You bolted back towards the entrance, waving back at Tori as she called out a goodbye. This was going to be a whirlwind.

[accio-victuuri]

THE STORY OF THE 85 LOGO 🏍️

Since Yibo was spotted on the race track, the conversation around the logo is picking up again. This has been discussed so many times before & in bits and pieces but I want to give it a go and make my own version of it’s history. It’s a mix of the logo itself as well as the cpn speculation surrounding it’s origin. I’m not gonna talk about other related designer zz candies, this is only for the logo.

I used this video by R背靠大树好乘凉W as a guide on the timeline but i did my own fact checking and added a lot more points especially with Parts II-IV of this post.

I. THE ORIGIN

11/10/2018, Yamaha Racing Team weibo account posts the first look of the 85 logo. At this point, everyone already knew who this is supposed to be. It’s also cute how the time it was posted had the timestamp “28” which is Ai Bo, another clue.

“ driver number 85 is coming soon! “

1/19/2019, The same account officially shared that Yibo will be joining the MLT YAMAHA team for 2019 and Tracer 85 was born. Yibo also reposted this and replied with :

Happy New Year to all! ! ! ! ! racing career has begun! ! ! ! ☺️☺️☺️Please call me driver Wang Yibo! ! ! ! ～～～～～

1/29/2019, the draft for Yibo’s Tracer 85 racing suit was released by the weibo account. It prominently features “85”.

Now a key player in this whole designing mystery is DAINESE a company that describes themselves as: Dedicated to producing the most effective safety solutions in every arena where athletes continually push the human body and mind to surpass their prior achievements. From our motorcycle racing origins to alpine skiing, mountain biking, competitive sailing and outer space. So they posted about the racing suit itself as well as the helmet. Again, both things featured the 85 logo, along with other symbols that is an entirely different cpn on it’s own.

It’s so obvious that a professional company will make this for WYB. Even if we CPN that the logo was made by XZ, or even a rough sketch of it and passed on to Yibo, down to this company’s team to refine. There is just no way that XZ will write his name down as the owner of it, if we didn’t have that BTS video of their conversation about it then we won’t have a confirmation. Even if we have that video, there is still the probability that XZ didn’t follow through.

Then someone asked the company itself about the origin of the logo and they said WYB brought it himself.

The logo of No. 85 is not designed by us, it is brought by Yibo himself

Thank you for your support

If you look at the original post for the racing suit, the comments are all wf being so prissy about who designed it. I know that this post is supposedly about the 85 logo but the suit is a huge part of that. Also I think it’s about time to clear up the fact that cpfs are not trying to discredit anyone who made WYB’s gear. Why can’t we just be happy that he has a cool moto suit with the 85 on it? We are. We really are. It’s just that analyzing the elements within it is something that CPFs love to do. Not even for the relationship part of it but just to understand him better. The thing is, I don’t look at it and think only about how “handsome” yibo is. I also wanna know what it means. The details. This is something that represents him as a racer so I will naturally be curious about what’s on it. Not to say that so/os are shallow or anything, It’s just that we are two different kinds of fans. Our brains don’t work the same way. That’s fine. I wish people will one day accept that we all approach fandom in different ways. If you don’t like something— then ignore it.

So the conclusion here is, 85 was not an idea/logo made by the company DAINESE. Yes, they produced the gear and finalized everything. They were hired by YAMAHA to do so. However the one who drew that logo on a piece of paper is unknown.

Our best guess is Xiao Zhan. 🫶🏼

II. IMPORTANCE OF 85 TO YIBO

85 represents Yibo’s birthday, August 5. But it’s really became his “identity” when Tracer 85 was born. Even if he wasn’t racing, this number became a recurring theme & design with his endorsements. For example when he did a collab with Miniso, the goods had 85 on them.

He has moved to the “Panther” more recently but 85 and 0805 is still very much a Yibo’s thing. There are even endorsements that have 85 on the price they sell his items for ( example is Richora ).

So using 85 is not a spur of the moment thing and goes beyond his racing career.

III. OTHER SIGHTINGS ( of the logo )

Aside from the race track, the most important way the logo was incorporated was through merchandise. Whether it’s the custom phone case that only Yibo has —

or the infamous 85 cap which was repped by yinzheng. the sus part here is yibo commenting, only acknowledging the post but then yz had to reply back with : lemons grow on lemon trees, under the lemon tree there’s me. which means he is jealous and then yibo had to reply back with a series of emojis that makes things more suspicious.

sure, yinzheng can mean that he is jealous of the merch. that yibo has his own now and that the whole tracer 85 now goes beyond being a racer. but the cpf explanation to this is that he is jealous that wyb has someone that made this amazing logo for him too. it's really so cool to have your own designer at home.

a fan favorite would be this cap, released by Day Day Up in their WYB goods line back in 2020. What’s interesting is, the number of pieces available for it’s initial presale was 1005. LOL. 1005 is October 5, of course, XZ’s birthday. I think the number of pieces for a presale though not entirely up to yibo, may still be influenced by him. It could easily be 8500 pieces just to be meta but no. Why 1005? Is it a nod to the guy who made the 85 design? Plus if this logo was owned by Yamaha or Dainese, then why was it allowed to be used commercial by a completely different entity. Our answer is that it’s Yibo.

It’s curious that the cap received this special treatment, because out of all the merch sold in that line, it is the one that had the 85 logo in it’s original form. The rest had their own iteration of 85 but the cap is the closest to the “logo”. This is why a lot of fans, and CPFs specifically wanted to get it.

My favorite memory from when this line came out was the loud speculation about the logo and it’s connection to XZ. There were even talks of 🍤 buying something cause if XZ is the designer, then it’s also a XZ merch. This is the same year when 🍤 was going around SDC3 filming cause XZ was supposedly there. So yeah. This cannot be confirmed and no shrimp will ever admit but it was definitely a rumor going around that time. Looking back, that CPN was beneficial ( in a way ) to shrimps because it casts XZ in a good light. They know XZ’s capability so they can sort of agree to it. Not that we need so/o fans validating our opinions/speculations, but it’s a possible explanation to their reaction. Compared to motos who were angry with the association and insulted XZ. Implying that he isn’t capable, they can say that cause they don’t know XZ.

IV. Connection to Xiao Zhan “the designer” and candies

Turtles pointing to XZ as the designer is not only rooted in CPN, but the fact that making logos was his previous job. Even before the leaked video, it made sense to the community because after all, this is what XZ is good at. He’d done it for years in school and as a professional. There were photos of his previous work that leaked and he also talked about logo-making when he visited the bilibili office. Where he shared how frustrating it was to work with clients. More recently, in one his vlogs, we could see him explaining his thoughts on a visual logo for XZ Studio.

( video is about xz the designer, mostly talking about it during xfire / xnine days )

So his capability, closeness & familiarity with WYB at the time of the logo’s conception is key. CPFs are very familiar with how XZ makes art and logos for himself so to us it’s a rational speculation to think XZ had some influence on this.

There is another talk about Yuehua being the one who made it. They do have people who can make those right? However it was pointed out that with how they make logos for their other artists, it’s unlikely. They did claim the rights to the Panther, but the identity of the artist was left blank on the application. No one ever did claim ownership of this Logo or the Panther in public. Why wouldn’t they? It’s free promotion.

CPN Clues:

• 85 read as 28. Ai Bo + the Z.

• The Z is really my favorite clue 🥺🥺🥺🥺

• How it looks very similar to the M skateboarding logo. Which can also look like a 85.

• Some other explanation on what the 85 could mean. It’s XZ’s style to have hidden meanings aside from what you actually see.

• The minimalist design that screams XZ.

The 85 logo talk and cpn have really been in full swing when EVISU released those photos and I hope BXGs ( especially big accounts on the bird app and beyond ) will rein it in with the Xiao Zhan association. We already know how hostile the environment is so it’s best to not use his full name. It’s actually a common CPF way of doing things, not using their full names in our posts. As excited as we all were, the whole point was that tracer 85 is back, not the CPN. I know it’s tricky to find a balance with how our brains are wired, but you will learn. It should always be them as individuals first.

85 logo and all other “designer GG” is one of those CPN that is very popular and widely circulated in the bxg community — and with good reason. However, it is in no way to take away 85 from Yibo. It’s him. It is his brand and it will always be his.

This is one in a couple of “yizhan mysteries” out there that keeps the BXG flame alive 🔥. These (alleged) silent collaboration/s between them are so great because it shows how well they work together as a team.

-END.

[nhlclover]

the last time | arber xhekaj

summary: after arber leaves you for the second time you let him know he’s on his last strike.

request: yes / no

warnings: angst (w/ slight happy ending)

a/n: based on ‘the last time’ by taylor swift. i will take any excuse to write a taylor swift song fic. also i miss him :(

word count: 1.36k

Again. It happened again. This was the second time I had watched Arber walk out of my life. The first was five months ago.

We had been together for six months. Six months I had dealt with his schedule and late nights out after games. Six months I loved him and admired his passion. And then he broke up with me, saying he needed space. It hurt. More than any breakup I had been a part of before. But I let him go. If he needed space then I would give it to him. Two months went by where I was miserable. I had missed my boyfriend and slept alone in a bed that had become accustomed to two. Then, he was back.

He was at my door, saying he wanted me back. He said it was a mistake and he was overwhelmed with his newfound fame from being in the NHL and a new relationship. I believed him. I took him back and was happy to do so. Three months passed by where we pretended like we had missed no time. No skipped anniversaries, no missed date nights. We were good for three months before we were sitting in my living room, Arber telling me this was a mistake.

“I thought I was ready but I wasn’t.” He said. He had a hurt look on his face, the same one he wore when he left me the first time. “It will only hurt us more if I stay. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore baby.”

Once again, I let him go. I was left miserable once again, seeing little remnants of his touch on my life everywhere I went. Anytime I saw the Montreal logo I thought of him and his passion for the game. Anytime I heard Morgan Wallen I remembered the time we danced on the balcony at 2 am to Somebody’s Problem. 

On what should’ve been our one-year anniversary, I sat alone in my room, my tv playing an episode of Hell’s Kitchen that was barely holding my attention. My eyes burned from the tears that came in with every new memory that passed through my head. The memories of the boy I still loved — because my feelings hadn’t yet diminished — ran through my head like a movie. First kiss, first date, the first time he told me he loved me and how quickly I said it back. The first time he got in a fight on the ice and the mixture of the sense of pride and fear that coursed through me. Every career milestone and how happy I was for him.

But with all the good memories, I remember the bad ones. I remember how alone I felt when he left the first time, then how utterly stupid I felt when he left me for the second time. I couldn’t go out with my friends for the fear of seeing him made my anxiety spike. I remember lying awake at night, wracking my brain for answers because, even though Arber explained why he ended things, it felt like I was missing something.

A knocking sound coming from the front of the house pulls me from my thoughts, sending a wave of fear through me. It was the dead of winter and the middle of a snowstorm at nearly 10 pm, who would be coming to my door? I got out of my bed and slowly walked to the front door. The knocking persisted, getting louder every few seconds. I grabbed the tennis racket that sat on the floor of the coat closet and slowly cracked open the door.

The sight of the person on the other side sent a different kind of fear through me. Arber stood on my front stoop, a bouquet of pink and white tulips in hand. I opened the door fully, the cold air from outside causing goosebumps to form on my exposed legs. 

Arber’s eyes are soft and delicate when he looks into mine which are bloodshot and lined with soaked eyelashes.

“Why are you here?” I ask even though I already know the answer. 

“I fucked up…” He croaks out. “I can’t stop thinking about you…here alone. I hate that I caused this.”

He motions to my face on which tears have once again begun streaking down. I wipe them away using the sleeves of my sweater which just so happened to have belonged to Arber. “Can I come in?” He asks me.

I’m tempted to turn him away. To tell him no. He’s hurt me more than once and if I let him in, I can’t be sure he won’t again. But the moment I saw his face, all our good moments clouded over the bad ones, and it’s like everything was better. My love for him overshadows any hurt he made me feel. How could I possibly turn him away when I love him this much?

I opened the door fully, letting him in, and shutting the door behind him. As he removed his coat, he glanced down at the tennis racket in my hand. Arber looked at me his eyebrows furrowed.

“Arber, you came to my house in the middle of a snowstorm at 10 pm.” I tell him, putting the racket back in the closet. “I wasn’t just going to answer the door unarmed.”

Arber walks into my home, finding his way to the kitchen. He goes into the cabinet where I keep my vases and takes the scissors from their place in the drawer to cut the stems. He still remembered where I kept everything.

There are a few moments of silence as I watch him cut the stems, placing each flower into the vase. He fills the vase with water, putting it on the counter in front of me.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I say softly.

“I know you like tulips.” He replied. I sigh, looking past the flowers at him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry baby.”

I avert my eyes feeling them begin to brim with tears. He comes around the counter, sitting on the barstool beside mine. “I know you’ve already given me a chance before and I blew it but… Please, y/n.”

“Why?” I ask him, looking at him with tears steadily falling from my eyes. “Why should I give you another chance, Arber? All you’ve done is prove you don’t deserve another one. I’ve given you a second chance and you wasted it.”

“I can’t tell you how much I’ve changed since, y/n.” He says. “I’ve grown as a person. I’ve found a way to deal with what it's like playing in the NHL and I know I can cope now. On top of that, I have never been as miserable as I am without you.”

I look at him, reading his expression carefully. His eyes scream nothing but sadness, the bags under his eyes telling much of the story. “How do I know you won’t leave me again?” I croak out.

“Baby, I can promise you I will never leave you again.” Arber says, cupping my cheek with his hand, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I understand if you need time to think about it.”

There are so many thoughts going through my head all at once. I weigh out the bad memories and the good ones. I find my mind overwhelmed with the good ones, the love I have for Arber completely swaying my decision.

“Okay.” I say.

“Okay?” Arber repeats. “You’ll take me back?”

Arber has a grin on his face, bigger than the one he had when I told him I loved him. I nod. He scoops me up from the chair, spinning me around. Arber sets me down but keeps me in his arms. 

“Thank you, y/n.” He mumbles into my neck.

I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close. The familiar scent of his cologne washed over me, comfort enveloping me. I lean back from Arber, looking up at him.

“This is the last time I’m letting you back in,” I tell him. 

“This is the last time I’ll ask.” He says.

[kero-cure]

I asked the popular tart shop in my country to make Smosh tarts and this is what I got.

WHOA!! That looks cute. (Sorry for my suck ass photo shooting skills.) I didn't expect that to be their faces at all! I expected it to be like an ordinary pattern. Wow, It surprised me a lot. But my prediction about having a Smosh logo on it was right. Color looks pretty bland (I expected this to be more colorful) but I’m gonna judge this by the taste. Also, I can feel that these monochrome colors represent them being opposites through the color of black and white. Like day and night. yin and yang. That’s actually them. So that’s all ok for me

This is the card that matched the theme I ordered. And have flavor descriptions written on the back. That was long. I'm not sure if these are descriptions about dessert or essays about our boys. lol. Don’t worry. I’ll translate all of these.

(But first, let me tagged @ianthoni , thank you so much for waiting for me)

So, what are these?

This is made-to-order tarts that I ordered from a famous shop in my country. This shop usually makes tarts based on movies, series, etc,. And somehow it became popular among fangirls in lots of fandom. I saw them order tarts in their favorite anime, characters or talents, even their ships. People were so impressed about how this shop selected all the ingredients that can relate and tell the story about the requested theme. Even though it's pretty costly (around 30 usd, because it's made-to-order and they need lots of research), It's still popular and recommended by many customers.

I ordered one set about my favorite anime around last year and I was so impressed. (I wanna talk about this sometime too) So, This year is a nice year that I came back to this fandom and knew about how amazing and heartwarming that friendship is. I decided to order these and I'm gonna share with you guys about how it came out.

Note before start: 1. I understand that analyzing real people is WAY more difficult than fictional characters. Surely they, Even I can't pick up all of the story and every dimension of them into one piece of tart.

2. I only gave them a bunch of reference videos and interviews because I want to give them freedom to analyze by their own way, on their pov, not just sticking on our idea. So pov from people outside fandom might be different from ours. But I'll include some of my analysis and additions in the descriptions too. (Although my additions are… pretty long because it was so much fun to write lmao)

3. I’m not good at writing food reviews. But I’ll do my best to describe the taste.

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Let’s start.

First two are about our boys. I read the description and found out that they were focused on their childhood background, personal story and their personalities. They have the same base of tart crust. One is black and one is white. Look at the chocolate cream shapes. This might be their hairstyle back to the peak period. (Emo hair and bowl hair cut)

Anthony Flavor: cacao cream and passion fruit curd / rock chocolate with milk mousse 

Mousse with rock - Represent his childhood period that should be fun like ordinary children but wasn’t. He was being the shy and silent boy who came from a broken home with not much money. And even had one time suffered with a long period illness that made him absent from school for a while. Like the mousse that should be smooth but have a hard rock chocolate mixed with it.

Passion Fruit - Fruit that provides freshness and energy. Also enhances all the flavors. Literally, Represent his passion. After he met his life-changing transfer student in grade 6, The radiance and many things that he received from that person made his life brighter than before. That also inspired him and made him move forward to try something new and make him shine. Included learning to make his own website (I think this paragraph talks about the aftermath of getting a get well soon card) and continued to develop it into the work that he wants to do. Overflowing energy inside his mind made him stand up and won’t let all troubles in the past limit himself.

Cacao - Have a little bitter taste but make us feel energetic. Represents all of the struggle to get what he desires, no matter how difficult it is. Even though he had to face lots of problems that heavily affected him, and hard times that made him despair. He still keeps moving forward and wants to make his wish come true although the way until he reaches the goal is tough and not easy to get over it. One of his wishes was to take the friendship that he lost back. That was not easy at all because he was trapped by fear and feeling of guilt. But when he got a chance, He took it without any hesitation.

Taste: First taste when I took a bite was the passion fruit’s sour taste that mixed with milk cream inside. It was pretty hard to cut it with a fork because of the rock chocolates. But it brings a good crunchy texture when I eat. (Talk about crunchy texture. This reminds me of one episode of Lunchtime where he prefers crunchy peanut butter for some reason) And the last bite is when I took all of the taste from cacao, passion and crunchy cream together and I feel so satisfied and fresh. This is the only tart that has fruits included, and the fruity taste was outstanding. Like the shop said that his passion makes him shine. And I think maybe, just maybe, they selected passion fruit because it usually has lots of seeds that might represent his tattoo also.

Ian Flavor: peanut butter cream and milk chocolate ganache / pink frosting with milk financier

Financier - Like the previous one, Milk represents the childhood period. But unlike his partner, He was born into a big family that was supportive and warm. So the taste of milk in this piece has a richer and smoother taste.

Frosting - This represents a pink frosted sprinkled donut. Frosting gives us a sweet taste and the color of pink usually means love. This represents the love that he shares and receives with his family. And not only his actual family, His friends and people in crews are his found family that he shares and receives all the love too. He's a beloved person and cares for everyone. (And all of the brightful love is so powerful that it can ignite the passion of someone I talked about above)

Peanut Butter - Ingredients that have a high level of energy source. Represent his effort and consistency that put into the work. And because It is the main ingredient often used in energy-boosting foods for long-distance runners, This represents running that he was doing back then too. And he compared Smosh to cross-country in a watch party and said about keep going and keep running even in the hardest time too. Even though problems and hard times come to him. He chooses not to show his negative thoughts (If I said in a bit negative way, It's "hide everything inside")  but instead, his powerful radiance and energy will make him move forward many times, and can motivate others to move forward with him. Now he has reached the goal of regaining his friendship, But the running path hasn't ended yet.

Milk Chocolate - This is chocolate that has a high percentage of milk. So it shows the childishness that is still within him.

Taste: Compared to the first one, this is all creamy ingredients. When I first saw this I was wondering “Where is the pink frosted sprinkled donut?” because I only saw his face. And when I cut (Much easier) I saw a pink layer. It even has colorful sprinkles! That’s so cute, like a layer of cake that has berry sauce inside. And it layered on top of financier that were smooth and rich like they said. Taste of milk chocolate with peanut butter. Little crunch from sprinkles. And the cake inside. All of these make this piece of tart sweet and lovely. And I think that hidden pink layer kinda represents his cold look outside (Like someone said) but inside is colorful and creative. (And I kinda think that what if crunchy sprinkle can represent his hidden obstacle too?)

And these two pieces are about Smosh and their journey together from the beginning until now. These two are black and white and have big channel logos. And like the first two pieces, Black and white tart crust for each piece. (Location changed because I ate it the next day. Too many sugars in one day aren’t good for almost 30’s like me)

Flavor: dark chocolate ganache and white chocolate mousse with vanilla custard bacon crisp and coffee cacao nibs cremeux with lavender honey cake

Chocolates - The colors of black and white placing alternately represent them being different but came from the same beginning. Like these two types of chocolate that have different taste and texture, But both are chocolate. They share the same perspectives, interests and sense of humor. Fulfilling each other. And led to them start creating and presenting their ideas to the world. Through the days that passed, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, Make this also represented the time they spent together by the tastes that were both bitter and sweet that mixed together. As well as chocolate helps the brain to make serotonin; a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good and also decreases stress and pain levels. The two of them brought smiles and happiness to the audiences through Smosh that they joined their creative power together and were successful for a long time.

Vanilla and bacon - Weird combination that is not usually used together, But it creates something new and different from the normal flavors and has a unique identity. Becoming a Youtuber was a new thing at that time. No one knows if it will succeed or not, but they still choose this path and go for it with full force. The store described this part like this. But I think this might be interpreted to their unique sense of creativity that maybe looks weird but surprisingly harmonizes together and is addictive too.

Coffee - Have a bitter taste that is usually used to describe “Taste of being adult”. Enjoyment isn't the only thing they have to consider, Business and creativity grow along with it too. When they decided to sell their channel, Their channel wasn’t only about enjoyment anymore and lots of responsibility was necessary. They had to make lots of content and do a lot of things. Without realizing it, Their relationship slowly changed from “best friend” to “business partner that works together”. Distance started to appear between them who used to be very close.

Cacao Nibs - Bitter small pieces that look like piles of dust. Represents all of the outside problems and hidden feelings that piled up between them without enough conversation to dust it off. Even if it was just a small thing, If it was too much, It can become a big wall in their way. Sadly, They reached the point that they couldn’t break the wall, Leading to them driving apart later.

Honey - Known as an ingredient that will not expire. Represent their long-lasting friendship. Even though they had changed a lot, been apart for years and still had so many untold feelings, They finally realized that their bonds are much stronger and deeper than they thought and all of the precious memories they shared have never faded. Something between them still remains and never changed by the time at all. You can see it clearly in lots of videos that their dynamics when they’re together are still the same as when they were young.

Lavender - Means "I'm missing and waiting for you" in flower language (I researched about this. It's more like from Japan). They really missed each other even though they’re successful in their own way. They realized that something was missing when they were separated. When they looked back at the old memories they shared together for many years, They felt the solid and perfect dynamic of each other that never felt the same with anyone else. Also we missed them and waited for them to be in the same video (even though it might be just a short collaboration, we wished for this) for a long time too. We really missed the atmosphere of their sketches and dynamic when they were together. And now they finally get back together and make funny sketches again. The Feelings of “missing you” are strong, And their and our waiting was worth it.

Taste: First, I wasn’t sure which is the first piece of this pair. So I cut the white crust first and voila! Bacon. Lots of meaty bacon inside the custard. I heard that mixing meat with sweets is surprisingly delicious, but I never tried something like this before. I took a bite and, Whoa! How can I describe this correctly? It was like bacon cream pasta but went along well with two types of chocolates. The little sweetness of custard and the scent of bacon harmonized so well. How? That's good, dude! I was so surprised by this piece, and felt like “I wanna try this again”. So, this represents their sense of humor that combines well and is addictive, making us want to watch more of their content.

And here we come. The last piece of this art. I cut the black crust and I saw the layer of brown and white. And when I tasted a cream that stuck on my fork, I was like OHHHHHH!? The scent of lavender was so obvious. So first, I slowly tasted each part of this. Black and white chocolate that mixed well and smooth like the first one of this pair. The layer of coffee cream was bitter. It had no sugar on this. Just bitter, with cacao nibs that have no sugar added too. Bitter like them when they were about to part. Amount of cacao nibs was not that small either. Like I said, On the camera (double chocolate) they still had good dynamics like always. But inside, they had problems and untold words that filled between them so much that they reached the point that they couldn’t pass anymore. But the deepest layer of this piece was sweet and fragrant lavender honey. Something between them still remains since they were young. Old sweet memories about each other are always in their heart. And the scent of lavender, which means “Missing and waiting for you” was outstanding. Represent their strong feelings that want to be with each other again. These two combinations were powerful enough that could cover up the bitterness of coffee. And this can be interpreted as “Because they came through the bitterness, They finally can reach the sweetness that is still there” / “No rain, No rainbow”. They passed the big trial of their relationship and their bonds are now stronger and deeper than before. Even though I finished this piece, the scent of lavender still remained in my mouth. I had internal screaming over this piece. Tart shop owner really got me. That was freaking beautiful. Thank you so much.

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After I read the descriptions and ate the final piece, Let me say something.

I always believe. Only nostalgic feelings about their old memories about the contents online won't be enough for them to decide to be together again. But the lots of memories about each other, lots of times that they spent together, and how each other shaped their life for a long time since they were teens are the reason why. Each other's existence is one of the important parts of their life. Like the quote “Without you, I’ll never be like this. I am who I am now because of you”. Feeling of desire to take the aparted relationship back that the very first and main reason wasn’t about “Bringing nostalgia back for everyone”, But it was about “To befriend with each other again”, Led them to reconnect, Cured the wounded hearts, Fixed the mistakes back then, And decided to start their journey again, Together.

Everything started since we met Although there are days when we hurt each other But just being able to think "I want to be with you" Will lead us to a tomorrow we don't know yet

-「fragile」 by Every Little Thing, 2001

That’s it for these tarts. Sorry for the long post but I hope you guys like it. It was pretty hard to translate all of these descriptions from my native language to English with some (that actually not some, but a lot lmao) of my thoughts there. And this is surely my longest English post I have written online yet. So my grammar might broken. But I used lots of effort for my little project and I'm satisfied :D

[drsoulblast-official]

The Fourth SoulBlast Newsletter is here!

What's new?

Our Team Members have recently been working on SoulBast's Intro Sequence (GONER_MAKER replacement) and its path chart, where each individual ending and choice has animations which are still being planned! How many choices/animations are there? Well...

Here are the references (provided by Terra and Alternimo) showing what's next to come!

The Cosmic Starplaza Update is Here!

We decided to replace DELTARUNE: CHAPTERS REATOMIZED with a WIP Shift AU that has a couple Deltarune characters in original roles. It has some SwapSpin inspiration and some StoryShift inspiration, specifically the roles papyrus and sans are in. What does that mean? You'll have to wait and see!

Yes, the songs ARE back! Maybe!

The SoulBlast composers are cooking once more! This time for something with a much different tone to what is often teased here, but we hope that you still like it!

There isn't a thumbnail made yet, but it may be done alongside some other songs, which have a chance of coming out this month!

What's Terra been up to?

“It’s Terra again! I’m on vacation right now, but we’ve got a decent amount of content done. We’ve had a couple songs finished in the last week, and Alter and I have been planning out the SoulBlast opening sequence. I might not make it the first thing we do dialogue-wise as it’s super ambitious and big, although I had a really cool idea as of how to “realize it”. I don’t know if I’ll go forward with this idea, but who knows. That’s all I have to say for now, peace!”

What's Alternimo been up to, too?

“Hey, I’m back with another newsletter section! I’ve decided to do one every other week (mostly because of my current work pace, and also because Alter doesn’t necessarily entirely equal SoulBlast), but here we are again! As for what I’ve been up to…well, not a whole lot, to be blunt. I’ve been away on vacation after vacation, trip after trip…kinda doing some small work off and on, but nothing too crazy, and likely not until mid-June or so, when I get back from this big trip I’m on now. Not too much has been going on in the SP!Deltaswap (AKA CandlelitSeal (if you’re interested, DM me for more info!)) field, though I’ve been putting together a few last minute ideas and laying everything out for myself to track my progress. Preparing for some dialogue revisions too, alongside the designs for the rest of the main cast. SoulBlast-wise…not much either, though I’ve been helping out a bit with the intro sequence (which may or may not been teased somewhere in this newsletter) and some tiny logo tweaks. With that, though, I’ll quit my yapping, as there’s plenty of other (probably more important) content to be getting to.”

The SoulBast gets an update?

The SoulBlast Team has been working to improve the original logo! Here's what we've done so far, with different versions by Alternimo and SnowyBoi64

(Minor Logo Rework by Alternimo, although some color things would still be changed)

(Sprite Version by SnowyBoi64)

Speaking of SoulBlast Reworks...

The Character Guides are back, and are currently in a stage of early construction! Not much more is able to be said unfortunately, but we'll get updates to you whenever possible!

The SoulBlast Team has a New Member!

"Heya! I'm the I Man, and I recently joined the SB/NM team. I do some spritework, background music and maybe a bit of writing, if I'm feeling particularly wild. I've made a few works over the years and I have a few AUs of my own, (including two whole Underswap takes), but I figured I'd join this project because it seemed interesting (I was right). Anyways, I can only hope I live up to the expectations set for me, and I hope to see you in the future."

That's all!

Go check out our stuff below! The next newsletter will be posted in 2 weeks (since it’s biweekly)

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@soulblastau5574?si=fuh6MJy1Hgd4FVaT

SoundCloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/UVadRL6CSVdqxkRv9

Discord: https://discord.gg/3bAtNkxH2P

[bexreadstoomuch]

Magic Man - Chapter 11

After Winning your local Battle of The Bands competition, you don’t realise it’s your old school crush’s band that’ll you’ll be supporting for the next 4 months. Can you put the past behind you and forgive?

It's time for the new years eve party, buckle in - let go have some fun!

NSFW — slow burn, fluff, flirting, reader has weight/image issues light angst, 18+ overall for eventual smut, drug/alcohol mention/use/language, angst, smut, fingering, confessions of attraction, EddiemunsonxReaderHenderson

A/N - So it says eventual smut, and the smut has arrived, it's only slight here, warning are above. This chapter also contains one of my favourite Scorpions songs - Still Loving You! I hope you enjoy

Masterlist Part 11/? [wc 6.1k] a/n - please please like, share and comment, your comments make me so happy and encourage me to write more! thank you <3

11 - Still Loving You

Sitting at the window of your motel room, you watch the snow slowly falling covering the parking lot out front in a blanket of crisp white snow.

Arriving early couldn't have been timed more perfectly, as you were expecting a large cold front and even the possibility of a blizzard here in Nebraska.

Looking across at the venue across the street, your face is illuminated by the blue neon sign of the motel, hiding the blush that was rising in your cheeks at the memory of Eddie's hands on you only a few hours earlier.

“please promise me, I'll see you tonight after the show for the party? So we can speak some more?” his words echoed in your head. Of course you’d see him, you were not going to miss out on this. 

Of course you were still worried that he wasn’t being fully truthful but you had promised Dustin you would give Eddie a chance.

“Listen y/n, Eddie was in bits after that night, kept asking me why you weren’t around anymore, I’d never seen him like that before” Dustin had explained to you back at christmas in the garage.

 “He kept asking about you every single day, I never even saw him get mad, he just went quiet after a while. Once he finally graduated, he packed up his stuff and moved out of Hawkins. I didn't know where he was going, but I heard a rumour he’d gone to California, I don't know maybe in hopes to find you”

The show had gone amazingly, you kept seeing Eddie on the side of the stage watching you closely with a smile plastered on his face, watching his eyes roaming over your body. When you'd notice him doing this you would bluff a few notes, causing him to stifle a laugh and mouth “sorry” in your direction.

Laughing to yourself you get up from your position in the window making your way to the shared bathroom to grab a shower. Upon returning to the room, Lula comes bounding in with a large bag with a logo you don't recognise. 

“OK don't get mad, but we got you something for tonight” Lula places the bag on the bed between them, tipping it upside down letting the contents cascade all over the bed.

Your eyes went wide at the sight. All you could see was a sea of black. Black Leather and cloth, and the glint of silver.

“What is all this?” you look up at your friend confused.

“So Gareth may have spilled the beans to me about what happened at thanksgiving and tonight with Eddie - please don't get mad” Lula throws her hands in the air seeing the shocked look on your face.

“So with that in mind, I was saving this for your birthday, but I thought tonight would be better,” Lula explains, picking up a few pieces to flatten them out.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing and seeing.

“Lula, im, WOW, i mean look at these, they are beautiful but i'll look ridiculous in this” you say holding up the leather jacket which you now see is encrusted with small silver diamontes.

“Now remember what we told you before we left for this tour? No self doubting y/n, you are gorgeous and beautiful inside and out and we are gonna to show Eddie what he's been missing all these years,” Lula had made her way around to you, hands on your shoulders looking you dead in the eye. “You got this?” She may be small but she can be intimidating when she wants to be.

“Yes, YES, ok let's do this” you beam back at her. “Where's Jack anyway?” you ask 

“I don't know, she said she had some stuff to do after the show but would see us later back at the venue for the party”

Jack had been disappearing more so recently after shows, coming back to the bus in the early hours. She didn't think you’d both noticed but you had. You know not to question her about it. Like when she came out to you both it was on her terms, she told you when she was ready. And that's the rules you've taken ever since, Jack will tell you something when she is ready.

After about an hour or so of Lula backcombing your hair, applying more mousse and hairspray to your head, that it would even make Harrington jealous, you were starting to get really nervous, and she could see it. 

Squeezing your shoulder from behind you Lula gives a small smile and nod. That's the great thing about true friendships, you don't need to say much, and they will know what you need.

After applying your makeup it was time for your outfit. 

Lula had hung it up ready for you in the bathroom to get changed into while she finished off her own makeup.

Closing the bathroom door behind you you looked at the outfit hanging there and your body was awash with self doubt.

Thought came flooding into your mind of all the things that could go wrong. The pants wouldn't do up, even worse they would split.

You thought back to what Lula had said “we are going to show Eddie what he's been missing all these years”

Taking a deep breath you set upon getting dressed, trying your best to get those negative thoughts out of your head. 

This isn't just for Eddie this is also for you! You deserve this!

“LULA WHAT THE FUCK?” you shouted pulling the bathroom door open brandishing the bag in front of you.

“Oh yeah that, well you never know” lula trailed off raising her eyebrows up and you going back to the mirror to do her makeup.

“How do you know it’ll fit?” you ask annoyingly.

“Don't worry we know your sizes and made sure it would - you'll look amazing”

You shook your head at your friend making your way back into the bathroom, to examine the bag again. Inside were a set of black lace and ribbon bras and panties.

Putting it against your body you wouldn't believe you were going to do it, but you promised her.

Once your outfit was on, you couldn't stop moving your hands up and down your thighs, across your stomach, all the areas you hated. 

Taking a deep breath you make your way out of the bathroom, your new heeled boots clacking across the tiled floor.

“OMG Y/N you look amazing! He's gonna die!”

Looking at yourself in the full size mirror you start to feel a sense of power come across you. The outfit made you feel powerful, like you could take on the world.

You take in the leather trousers which are encrusted with stars made up of diamantes which matched the leather jacket which covered your torso which was in a tight black Harley Davidson tee, with a double buckled belt.

Lula had retired her plaid and vans for the evening and opted for a short little black dress, fishnet tights and borrowed your dr martens boots.

“Lula, aren't you going to be cold when it's snowing?” you express your concern looking at her outfit.

“Oh I'm not worried, hopefully someone can warm me up later” she giggled.

“Oh you are gross!” you laugh back at her. She had expressed that her and Gareth haven't gone all the way yet and she was hoping tonight could be the night. Looking like she did, I'm sure it’d be hard for him to say no.

Making your way over to the venue to get more and more nervous, walking a few steps behind Lula trying to take as much time as you could. Maybe thinking that if you walked slow enough you wouldn't have to go.

“Y/N, come on whats up?” Lula calls over her shoulder, noticing you behind her.

“What if it happens again?” you say in an almost whisper, “what if it's like halloween again? I mean look at me!” your hands gesturing across your body.

“Honey, it’ll all be ok, Eddie wants you to be there, he’ll be next to you, and if he doesn't he’ll have me to answer to ok?” She tries to reassure you, but you cannot push the daunting feeling away.

You nod slightly taking in what she was saying, you trusted her. It was everyone else you didn't.

Walking back into the venue, you see the room now transformed ready for the new year. Slivers of multicoloured foils hanging from the ceiling, lights flashing between different colours and the music so loud you could feel it vibrating in your feet.

Looking around you recognise a few people from Wyatts team back in California, over at the bar, he waves over to you both to join him, Jack already in conversation with him.

“Hello Ladies, you both look wonderful” Wyatt gushes, tipping his hat to the both of you.

“As do you Wyatt” Lula comments 

“So ladies, I wanted to have a quick chat with you before the party gets into full swing. I've been chatting with the boys and they are in agreement with me. This tour so far has been a triumph and once it's over, me and the team would love to sign you to add to our label, join the team! What do you say?” 

You all must have had the same look on your face as Wyatt quickly says “no need to rush to a decision now, but let me know as soon as you can ok?”

You all nod, watching Waytt turn and walk away back to the rest of his team.

“Oh my god what just happened?” you say exasperated grabbing both the girls arms.  

“I think we did it, we finally did it” Jack quickly responds.

“What do we do?” Lula asks, looking at you with a worried look.

“We say yes right?” you answer.

You're all looking between each other and slowly all nod in agreement.

No more words were needed between you all, this was it, you made it. Your only concern was you'd be on the same label as Eddie, no doubt working together, was this such a good idea?

You must have willed him into existence thinking of him, because as you turned around so your back was against the edge of the bar, he walked in the rest of the band in tow.

Tight black jeans, chains, black boots and a black sequined shirt, ludicrously open very low exposing his chest tattoos, with a chain dangling around his neck which you noticed had a pick attached. You wonder if this is the same one from high school he always had on.

You notice him scanning the room as though looking for someone, and as soon as your eyes meet, you notice him let out a breath, looking up and down at your body, raising his eyebrows in awe. This alone was making your cheeks heat up. 

He looks flawless, and there was that knot in your stomach again, making you shift your weight from side to side.

Your heart sank as you saw the band disperse but Kelly appeared next to him in a tight corset style black top with a long skirt attached, a large split going up one side. He must have noticed this in your face as he leaned over to Kelly whispering something to her, which must have not been good as she had a face of thunder as she stormed off.

Eddie looked back over to you with a look on his face as thought he was apologising on her behalf. Making his way over towards you, you were feeling hotter with every step he took.

“Hey sweetheart, you look, just wow, you look amazing” Eddie extends a hand out to you which you slowly take letting him spin you around so he can look at the rest of the outfit.

“Where have you been hiding this?” he asks you, his voice seemingly deeper than usual.

“Lula got it for me, early birthday present” you quickly respond looking down trying to hide your embarrassment.

Eddie's hand suddenly whips up, taking your chin with his thumb and pointer figure, tilting your head to look at me.

“No need to be shy sweetheart, you look beautfiul”

His words made your heart hurt, you always thought people were saying things like this just to make you feel better but never meant it. This must have been showing on your face, giving you away as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek giving it a gentle rub with his thumb, leaning in close to your ear.

“I mean it y/n - i've always thought you were beautiful” Eddie's voice was soft and full of sincerity.

Your breath hitched in your chest when he said this. Taken aback by his honesty, you blurted out “I always thought you were too”

Eddie let out a little chuckle moving his hands to your waist guiding you towards the bar. “Ladies, how about you?” he asked Jack and Lula. You had completely forgotten they were still standing next to you, completely lost in Eddie.

“Thanks Eddie but were ok, i'm going to go find Gareth” Lula tells you both, making her way past you, whispering to you as she past “It’ll be ok y/n, you got this, don't forget he's got me to answer to if he hurts you again”

You give her a nod as you watch her glide across the room straight into Gareth's waiting arms, placing herself in his lap, on some of the leather chairs that were dotted around the room.

“You want shots again, or are you going to take it slow this time?” Eddie is asking you as you watch your friend leave, and noticing Jack was now missing too.

“Oh sorry” you quickly turn back around facing him “No, ermm, can i have a cranberry and vodka please?”

Eddie learns over the bar and orders your drinks. You feel awkward standing there. You feel like everyone is looking at you. Judging you. Talking about you.

“Y/n? You ok?” Eddie's voice from behind you makes you jump back to reality, standing there with a beer in one hand and your drink in the other.

“Shall we sit?” He tilts his head over to an empty booth area of seats.

Nodding you follow him to the secluded area and sit down opposite him, hands clasped tightly around your glass, knuckles almost going white.

Looking up you see Eddie's hand also tight around the bottle he was holding.

“I'm glad you came tonight” he says breaking the silence between you “I should of done this a long time ago”

“I spoke to Dustin over Christmas, he saw the letter you gave me and explained things to me, but I don't know what to believe. I was a mess that night, I felt so hurt, I felt small, I felt foolish. Foolish for thinking someone like you would like someone like me.” you thought if you never said it now you never would, taking a large gulp of your drink feeling the alcohol burn down your throat.

Leaning forward in the booth taking a drink from his beer Eddie have a defeating sigh “I thought you wouldn’t want to been seen with someone like me - like I said this afternoon I was an idiot teenager who didn’t know any better”

He reached a hand over the table between you reaching for one of your hands. You looked down at his heavily ringed open hand for a moment debating whether to take it or not.

You slowly extend your towards him, allowing him to encase his large hand around yours.

“Eddie, why did you react the way you did when you first saw us back in California?” You asked him with worry. You had been wondering this for sometime, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Oh that, well, I really don’t know” Eddie's grip on your hand becomes tighter and he searches for an answer lowering his head as though ashamed 

“I regret how I acted, I was a complete fool, you no doubt thought I was being some pompous rock star” he laughed the last few works trying to lighten the moment

“But I think it was the shock of seeing you after so long, you looked breathtaking standing there and I was afraid I was mess things up again”

You watched him try and explain himself, watched his eyes searching your face for forgiveness. Lowing your eyes you watch him adam’s apple bob in his throat and he swallows trying to find the words.

You didn’t say anything, just looked back at him moving your free hand to cover his that’s encased around your other hand.

“I’ll be right back” Eddie says as he moves out of the booth making his way over to the DJ booth. You watch him point to something behind the man and have a quick conversation and nodding between them both. 

Watching him make his way back over to your booth you see the man behind the desk place a record on the deck moving the needle carefully into place.

You instantly recognise the first chords of the song now playing over the speakers. It was the song Eddie was playing this afternoon when you saw him playing alone.

Scorpions - Still Loving You 

“Will you dance with me?” Eddie's voice is low as he extends a hand out waiting for you to accept it.

Taking a moment to consider your options you throw caution to the wind, shifting out of your jacket leaving it in the booth you stand taking Eddie's hand in yours letting him lead you to the dance floor.

Pulling you tightly towards him he placed both hands on your hips giving you no choice but to place your arms around his neck under his hair.

He let out a little noise from the bottom of his throat at the feeling of your hands on the back of his neck.

“How did you know?” You asked him looking up at him as he swayed with you to the music 

“Know what?” He looks down at you with a small crooked smile.

“This song, it’s my favourite, you were playing it this afternoon weren’t you?” You replied, questioning him.

“Ah well that would be telling, but I have my ways of finding things out” he learned forward pressing his forehead against yours.

The knot in your stomach was growing tighter, you felt like you had hundreds of eyes on you. You thought you could hear people talking about you.

Suddenly you felt the room was spinning, you felt your breathing get rapid, you were starting to panic, eyes darting around the room. 

You felt something on your face, snapping you back into reality you could see Eddie's face still in front of you, one hand still on your hip the other on your face.

“It’s ok y/n it’s ok, you're worrying again aren't you? Just breathe it’s all ok, I’m here I’m not going anywhere” His voice was calming, and soothing. You felt yourself settling again. 

“Eddie I feel such a fool” you lean your head into his chest fitting perfectly under his chin, which he rested on your head.

He didn’t say anything, just held you tight while still moving with the music.

He lifted your head of face him, wrapping his arms tightly around you, leaned into the side of your head and sang long with the song to you,

“If we'd go again, All the way from the start, I would try to change,Things that killed our love. Yes, I've hurt your pride, And I know what you've been through, You should give me a chance, This can't be the end, I’m still loving you”

For a split moment you meet his large brown eyes seeing them full of all the emotions he was trying to express. the knot in your stomach had gone, you felt calm and in control.

Wrapping your arms quickly around his neck again you pulled him down to you crashing your lips together in a hungry kiss.

No one else mattered but you both. You felt like you were the only people in that room for a moment. It was peaceful. Eddie responds with the same hunger, grazing his tongue over your bottom lip asking for access. The kiss was more intense than the one you shared this afternoon, both of you fighting for dominance over the other.

Breaking away from the kiss for only a moment you stared intently at each  other.

“I meant what I said this afternoon, I’m so sorry about what happened, but please let me show you how sorry I am” The tip of Eddie’s nose touches yours as he brings his face in closer again to capture your lips.

Letting your guard down you let out a small moan escape your mouth as he kissed you with more ferocity.

His hands moved from waist down to hips letting his thumbs graze your sides. You could feel his fingers slipping underneath your tee so his fingers could trace your skin.

The song was coming to an end, but you didn't want this to end. Eddie's hands still on your sides he pulls you closer, bringing your hips close against him.

He moves a hand up to tuck some of your hair behind your ear and whisper “follow me”

Your feet had a mind of its own to follow Eddie's command willingly. Passing the guests in the party you see a few faces looking at you with confusion, whispering to the person next to them. Your stomach sinks, and you abruptly stop, your arm stretching out, as Eddie still had hold of it.

Looking around he looks at your concern, slowly making his way abc to you.

“Are you ok doll?” His voice was full of concern.

“Everyone is staring Eds” you answer so quietly it was barely a whisper.

“It's ok, look at me” Eddie's hands are now on your shoulder, turning to face him. “Focus on me ok? Let's get out of here, get some air?”

You quickly nod your head and you allow him again to lead you out of the venue. 

To your surprise you're standing outside beside Bertha. Eddies reach into his pocket and bring out a key unlocking the door.

“How do you have a key for Bertha?” you ask

“Bertha?” his head spins around looking at you amused.

“Yeah she's called Bertha, we thought it was a good name, she's sturdy, albeit a little unreliable” 

Eddie just chuckles at this explanation going back to opening the bus doors.

“Lula gave me a spare key at the bar before just incase” he explains walking up the bus steps pulling you with him.

You’ll be having words with Lula later about that. Everyone seems to be talking about the pair of you, except to you.

“It's nice in here, homely” Eddie remarks looking around, touching the wooden panels on the walls and making his way to the bunks at the back, sitting down on the bottom.

“Yeah Lulas folks helped us set it all up, they're great” you say as you kick off your boots into the corner and grab your blanket wrapping it around you sitting next to him on the edge of the bed.

“Y/n?” Eddie's voice is quiet, his hands move back to your face, bringing it to meet his.

You could barely respond to him as he crashed his lips into yours again. You felt his tongue graze your bottom lip asking for entrance again and you oblige.

Your hands moved from their position in your lap wrapped in your blanket to rest on his jean clad thigh. Feeling your hand on him he pulled away from the kiss leaving you wanting more. He slowly moves so he's facing you ducking slightly so he doesnt hit his head on the bunk above. You move yourself from the edge of the bed moving in further as to give him more room next to you. Seeing what you were doing he dove across so he was now positioned above you.

“Is this ok?” he asks tenderly, looking at you for reassurance.

“Yes” you whisper to him, leaving all inhibitions behind you, reaching up, grabbing him around his neck, pulling him into you to kiss him once more. 

Your both breathless moans, and messy wet heated kisses. He moves his lips from yours, moving his way to your neck, leaving hot kisses in places you didn't know could make you feel this good.

His hands started to roam your body, tracing down your arms and you tense up when he reaches your stomach. Feeling you he stops looking up at you.

“Are you ok y/n? I don't want us to do anything that you're uncomfortable with, we can stop and I can just walk away” Eddies says, looking at you reassuringly.

“No, no please dont stop, its just….. just , oh god, now I feel stupid” you shuffle form underneath him bring your knees up to your chest, hugging your arms around them.

“Sweetheart, I know what you're gonna say, and please, don't worry. I think you're beautiful and I want to show you how beautiful you are, will you let me?” Eddie inches back towards you, placing his ring clad hands on yours.

“You're not just saying that? You mean it? I've had people say these things to me, just because they can then brag they've been with a Fat girl, and, and” your starting to feel your body shake as tears start to form in your eyes. 

Eddie's hand flew up to catch the tear before it fell, wiping it away.

“Please sweetheart, I'm not that type of person. I see you for you, nothing else. Like I said before, I see before me a beautiful, talented woman. A woman who can belt out a song like I've never heard before. You have no idea how long I've dreamt of kissing you, feeling you in my arms, holding you, I was an idiot in school, I wish I had told you sooner, helped protect you from those who would hurt you, will you let me?” You had waited for Eddie to say something like this to you all those years ago.

Unfolding your arms from your legs, you crawl your way closer to him. Leaning in to the side of his face you whisper in his ear “show me, please”

Without another word Eddie dove at you, pinning you beneath him to  continue the assault on your neck. Hands roaming down your sides squeezing your hips making his way down grazing your thighs. His kisses become more heated on your neck, biting down slightly, making you moan at this touch.

His hands tugging at the bottom of your shirt, he makes his way under grazing his hands up your torso, the coldness of his rings causing goosebumps to form. He grazes the underside of your bra feeling the lace under his fingers. 

“What's this?” he comments breathlessly from his position in your neck.

“Another gift from Lula, she said to me ‘you’ll never know’” you stifle a giggle.

“Can I see?” you nod as you lift your frame helping him raise the tee above your head revealing your ribbon and lace bra, your breasts heaving over the top threatening to spill.

“Oh my god doll, you're gorgeous” Eddie's mouth moves quickly from your neck to lick across the peaks of your breasts making you involuntarily hitch your hips up. Feeling this you feel him smirk upon your skin and move himself so he is positioned between your legs.

“If you want me to stop, you need to tell me ok? Do you know the traffic light code?” he asks you quickly, face flush, hair wild. 

You nod, which he raised his eyebrows at.

“Don't forget, green is carry on, amber is slow down and red is stop ok?” he makes sure you remember, you nod again.

“I need you to use your words sweetheart” 

“Yes, Eddie” you reply, raising your hips towards him again to reiterate your answer.

“Good girl” his voice was an almost growl as he dove back towards your chest, nipping and sucking at your skin causing you to throw your head back letting out a small moan.

Eddie would continue to ask you if it was ok for everything you did and you answered promptly gaining more praise from him.

Hands roaming each other, you reach down to the buttons on his shirt, opening them up and pushing the shirt off his shoulders.

Your hands stoke down his chest to one of his pierced nipples, asking him “when did you get these?” 

“When I left Hawkins for California, you like them?” his answer muffled from between your breasts.

“Yeah I do, a lot” your fingers grazing over the bar, causing Eddie to let out a guttural moan, the feeling vibrating through you.

Moving his hand down lower to feel him undoing the buttons on your leather trousers, asking for entry. “This ok?” he asks.

“Green, please Eddie” you reply breathlessly looking down at his position now between your legs.

Eddie's hand pulls down the zip and gestures for you to lift your hips to help him pull down your leather pants.

“Oh wow, I'm gonna have to thank Lula when I see her next” he says, kissing his way across your inner thighs.

Before you could respond you feel him tracing his fingers across the frilly edge of your panties, continuing to kiss closer to your warm core making you squirm.

“Oh doll, keep still, you have no idea how long i've dreamt of this” Eddies voice is full of want

“Me to Eds, please… don't stop” you encourage him by tracing your arms up and down his bare arms.

“Don't forget, traffic lights” With that you feel eddies fingers move to rest above your clothed heat finding your small wanting bud beneath, rubbing slowly in small circles. This action caused you to cry out a small moan. 

“Eddie please dont stop” you reached for his free hand beside you bringing it to your covered breasts helping him manoeuvre the fabric down exposing yourself to him.

“My god y/n your so beautiful” Eddie moans as his hand massages your large breast tracing over your nipples making you gasp.

His other hand doesn’t slow down rubbing tighter circles on your now swollen bud.

“You have no idea what you're doing to me doll, can I feel you?” Eddie looks up at you from under hooded eyes.

“Yes, yes please” your stutter your words out to him 

“So polite for me” Eddie grins up at you as he moves his hand under the waistline of your black lace panties moving lover to your folds. Moving his body back up your body you feel his cold rings against your hot skin sending a jolting sensation up your body.

Eddie places kisses against your skin making his way to your now heaving breasts quickly taking your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, as he pushes his fingers through your warm folds at the same time.

“You're so wet for me sweetheart, let me look after you, like you deserve” Eddie's voice was a low growl full of lust. 

Your head feeling all fuzzy from the sensations you were feeling just nodded, making Eddie stop.

“Your words doll, don’t forget” 

“Yes Eddie, please I want you too, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time too, please” you hurriedly said, thrusting your hips up into his waiting hand.

“Good girl, my good girl” Eddie growled as he continued his cruel pace on your swollen bud. 

His girl. His words sent your head spinning, lifting your hips to match his movements, wanting more. You could feel a coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every move he made.

Stopping suddenly, Eddie makes his way up your body capturing your lips with his, reaching for the straps of your bra to manoeuvre it down completely. He looks at you with a silent question, eyebrows raised.

“Green, please green” your voice breathless.

Eddie is quick to remove your bra completely, moving his lips down to capture your nipples in his mouth sucking and licking, making you make noises you never knew you could.

Your hands move around his neck pulling at the nape of his neck letting him know you want more, pulling him toward your face. Moving a hand back down to your soaked panties he pushes them to the side tracing a finger up and down you, causing you to mewl.

“Can I feel you? I want to feel you wrapped around my fingers” Eddie asks seductively, not leaving your gaze.

“Yes, please I want to feel you, I want to come around your fingers Eddie please” you are practically pleading him at this point.

This was all the encouragement he needed, slowly pushing a digit inside of you causing you to moan loudly, pressing your forehead against Eddies, rutting your hips upwards matching this pace.

Dragging his finger slowly in and out of you, teasing you was torture, you wanted more. He must be reading your mind as he inserted another digit, slightly curling upwards hitting the spongy spot deep inside, manoeuvring his thumb to rubbing your clit quite vigorously.

You shut your eyes tight leaning your head back at the feeling of him pumping his fingers in and out of you, the coil was starting to get tighter in your lower stomach and Eddie could tell.

“Are you close y/n?” Eddie asks as he feels you getting tighter around his fingers, the moans and whimpers coming from your mouth encouraging him in speeding his pace up a little, making your legs start to shake.

“Y.. ye…yes” you could barely speak, concentrating on the feeling in your lower stomach thinking you might explode. No one had ever made you feel like this before.

Eddie learns down capturing your lips in an open mouthed kiss, tongue fighting for possession once more. Moaning into the kiss you try to find your words.

“Eddie please, i'm gonna come” you were now panting holding onto his shoulders tightly.

“Let go sweetheart, come for me” Eddie's tone was desperate, encouraging you.

With that, you could see stars behind your eyes as you came with so much ferocity, your legs were trembling, making Eddie grab one with his free hand stroking your leg to calm your muscles down. Pressing his forehead against your you open your eyes to meet his large chocolate brown ones. A smile spread across his face, one which you shyly returned.

As he pulls his fingers out of your aching centre, you sigh at the empty feeling, clenching around nothing.

Sitting up to reposition himself next to you he suddenly hits the top of his head on the bunk above.

“Jesus H CHRIST!” his curses rubbing his head with his hand, squeezing his eyes closed tight at the sudden pain.

“Eds you ok?” you sit up moving close to him, taking his face in your hands checking him over.

“Yeah, yeah I'll be good” he chuckles look back at you.

“That was err, that was amazing y/n, are you ok?” he's looking at you with concern on his face.

“Yes Eddie im more than ok, i just never thought we would do anything like this” you now sitting pulling the blanket back around you feeling exposed sitting there in just your now ruined panties.

“Well I hope we can do this again and maybe more?” he asks shly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I'd like that yeah”  you learn forward giving him a soft kiss on his soft lips.

“We should get back to the party, people will wonder where we’ve gone '' Eddie gets up, reaching out a hand to help you up, passing you your clothes.

“Eddie, can I ask you a favour? Can we not tell anyone what happened here? Maybe keep this quiet for a bit? I don't want to rush things too much” You felt foolish saying this considering only a few moments ago he had given you the best orgasam you've ever had.

“Of course doll, anything you need, just as long as I can kiss you at midnight?” wrapping his large arms around you pulling you close you giggled nodding at this request, leaning into his warm chest.

A/N - We finally got there, BUT how's Y/N gonna feel? Hope you enjoyed

tag list - @corrodedcoffincumslut @themrsmunson @emmalee-01  @bohemianrhapsody86 @jennk182

[ghostwav64]

I’ll always share my Spotify wrapped because I think it’s neat as hell to see what everyone listened to this year. I didn’t get L to the OG to the top like I wanted, my commitment to the bit waned unfortunately.

2023 my music listening habits were very different than they normally are, I spent less time keeping up with new releases and wayyy more time exploring artists and genres that I previously hadn’t really listened to.

That being said there were still a few projects from this year that I really loved that I figured I’d take the time to write a little about now.

5. Actual Life 3 Piano EP (January 1-September 9,2022)- Fred again..

Really inspiring EP for me, it’s a quiet reflective audio journal featuring some ambient sounds, some really cool samples, and some pretty piano playing throughout it’s a lot more lowkey than his album last year but I really enjoy that.

Favorite track: Nathan (Varner Road)

4. Quaranta by Danny Brown.

While I really enjoyed Danny’s work with JPEGMafia this year, I ultimately prefer this solo release from him this year. It’s a follow up to his album XXX, on that album Danny was a 30 year old struggling to make it as a rapper, now a decade later he’s obtained the success he once wanted so badly and he finds himself reflecting on where he was and where he is now. While financially Danny is better off than he was a decade ago,mentally he is still hurting and struggling as much as he was then. It’s a raw and vulnerable album with some excellent production throughout and some of the best verses of Danny’s career in my opinion.

Favorite Track: Down Wit It

3. Census Designated by Jane Remover

On Census Designated Jane Remover moves away from the hyperpop and digicore influences of her last album and leans more into rock and shoegaze, although there a certainly still a ton of fun little glitchy and stuttering effects throughout. If you like Ethel Cain I’d highly recommend this album.

Favorite Track: Cage Girl/ Camgirl

2. Wallsocket by underscores

A really wonderful pop rock concept album filled to the brim with infectious hooks, creative sampling and a lot of fun vocal manipulation throughout. There are no skips on this thing, every song is bursting with this really great creative energy. There are only few songs that I fell in love with this year more than You don’t know who I am.

Favorite track: You don’t know who I am.

1. 10,000 gecs by 100 gecs

The second I hit play on this album and I heard the THX logo sound followed by gunshots and the sick main riff on Dumbest Girl Alive, I knew this was going to be my favorite album of the year.

Here the gecs expand on their sound from the first album, refining it and fine tuning it, while still maintaining the playful energy that made the first album so exciting. Every song on the album has at least one or two lines that have permanently burrowed their way into my brain like the best ear worms do.

This album really flexes the duos skills at genre blending as they take from nu-metal, rap, pop, rock and ska and fuse them all into this wild album. It’s an unpredictable and fun listen one second they’ll be singing about struggling to make it in Hollywood, and little later you’ll get a song about having a tooth removed.

There’s a playful rebelliousness to all of their songs that I just can’t get enough of.

Favorite track: Dumbest Girl Alive (duh it’s my most listened to song this year) but I also wanna shoutout Most Wanted Person in The United States, that song fucking rules.

What’d you like this year?

[itwoodbeprefect]

get to know me! better! tag... thing!

i was tagged by @jinxddiaz​ (thank you!! 💖), and i did in fact already do this one, but it’s fun and i think i can drum up some different answers this time, so here we go again:

three ships: i’ll try for three different ones from last time, so - john/rodney (sga), hardison/parker/eliot (leverage), and uh. gonna sound very niche here, but billy tallent/joe dick, because they’ve been stuck in my brain since my last hard core logo rewatch.

first ever ship: i feel like i need to give a different answer for this too, and the only thing i can come up with right now is rosa/neuz from the hoe overleef ik (“how do i survive” - do not read hoe as hoe, my english speaking friends, these are books for kids) series by francine oomen. which. that’s digging deep.

last song: as of the time of writing this, 99 luftballons by nena! in general though (and in this case too), whatever was playing last in the top 2000, which makes me wonder, do... other countries... have a six day twenty-four hour a day music marathon of the democratically voted 2000 “best songs ever” on the public broadcast radio every year starting at christmas and ending right at midnight on new year’s eve, traditionally with bohemian rhapsody by queen playing as the #1 song right as the slightly too early fireworks are starting to go off all around you? or is that... not a thing?

last movie: woman they almost lynched!! which was a DELIGHTFUL surprise, in the sense that this is a movie from 1953 and i don’t think we’ve made many (if any) westerns with THIS MANY WOMEN in them in the almost 70 years since. it’s not perfect, and the overall message about gender roles is pretty messy and contradictory (especially by modern standards), but it’s FUN and very worth checking out if you’re curious about Ye Olde Western Movie: Women Are People Too Edition.

currently reading: these words i’m typing ha-ha ba-dum tsss. no, uh. still very slowly @redgoldblue’s advent calendar and also... a particular fic of mine in preparation for ?hopefully?? soon updating it with another chapter, and then maybe even another one after that. (i’m being vague about this as if i’ve written more than one multi-chapter fic on ao3 ever. i have not. the two year hiatus between chapters should tell you why, probably.)

currently watching: uh, well. two more movies, and then i’ll have reached my 365 goal for the year (though upon closer inspection, i have no clue how letterboxd is counting these) which i only recently set myself. (i’m thinking the last two will be arsenic and old lace & blazing saddles.)

currently consuming: nothing, but i had some of the chocolate my grandmother gave me for christmas earlier. <3

currently craving: the day i’ll finally stop coughing. it’s not covid, but it’s not fun either way.

i’m not tagging anyone, because i already did a round for this exact list of questions recently, but as always, if you think this might be fun, do it and tag me! i also think that would be fun!

[spectrestardust]

So, 2022 was the year I finally watched Ted Lasso. And I have a lot of feelings and nowhere to put them, so I’ll just leave them here.

There were 3 shows this year that made me cry like never before. Two of them were comedies, and one of them was Ted Lasso. Honestly, I don’t know why it took me so long to watch it. Besides the love I have for Jason Sudeikis, football has always been (and I think it will always be) a big part of my life. As a kid, my favourite cartoons were about football. I spent hours playing alone against the wall. In school, I played in every free period I had. Even though I wasn’t very good, it made me truly happy, made me feel a part of something. And all the love I had for the game was because of my dad. Watching matches together was the way we bonded. Some of my fondest childhood memories are us sitting in front of the tv, cheering for our favorite team. As the years went by, some of the interest faded, but I still follow the games and the teams with some enthusiasm.

In November of last year, I thought to myself I wanna see what the fuss is all about.

I was not expecting being so blown away by how good the show is. The writing is truly incredible and smart. I had high hopes for it because, after all, it was a Emmy winning show. But it surpassed all of my expectations. Every character arc is so well thought out. Every episode has little details and quips that, on a rewatch, make you go like uh (like Roy knowing the words to “Let it Go”). And the amazing chemistry between the actors pays off in all the character dynamics of the show: Keeley and Rebecca, Keeley and Roy, Rebecca and Higgings, The Diamond Dogs, Roy and Jamie, Ted and Beard, Ted and EVERYONE … even Roy and Beard have their I’m glad we don’t have to talk thing.

Entering spoiler territory (sorry), I have to highlight the moments that made me FEEL:

Ted’s therapy sessions with Dr. Sharon, especially the one he talks about his father, intercut with Rebecca talking about hers.

When Roy marches over to Jamie and hugs him, while Beware of the Darkness by George Harrison plays (some very ugly crying happened after that one, still can’t watch it without tearing up)

When Rebecca sings at her father’s funeral

Roy running to the Richmond match

Nate’s ultimate betrayal and confronting Ted

Roy to Phoebe: “I’ve been infecting you with the worst parts of me”

Jamie supporting Sam, covering up the dubai air logo

Roy headbutting Jamie and then hugging him to celebrate the team’s promotion

And honestly, I could go on and on. That’s how good this show is. It made me feel the same things I felt when played as a kid, or when I watch a very good match. Seeing Richmond win reminded me of the joy that is to share a victory with friends or family. Seeing them support each other gave me the same goosebumps I get when I see players of different teams help each other.

But it also taught so much more. It taught me that the sadness that comes with losing is never final, not as long as you have someone to share it with. It reminded me that, sometimes, no matter how much you try, things still don’t go your way. And that’s okay. But you have to keep going. Either you try again, or you try something new. But you keep going. And you ask for help. And maybe the ones you least expected are going to be there, helping you to keep going.

I talked about this show with my dad. Since he was the one who got me into football, it was only fair I introduced him to Ted Lasso. So we watched it together at dinner time during the holidays. Most days, he was the one asking about it. And I caught him almost crying during some of the scenes I listed above. I found us bonding over Ted Lasso like we used to bond over football. I felt I was a kid again, sitting in front of the tv on a saturday afternoon, watching my favourite team.

I know it’s a long post, and I had so much more to say, but I just truly and wholeheartedly love this show. Can’t wait for season 3.

[allblackeverything888]

🌞♌🌖♈

hello!

im listening to this Joe Dispenza audio clip mix about meditation. i believe i’m being led to meditate again.

i’ve also been thinking about Christ (and the Buddha, and Mohammed) as living Logos. and interacting with this idea of divinity as Logos that i can achieve myself by communing daily with it. i can try that thru mediation. im going to do more research on the Logos. anyway.

this is leading me to think about Kaotika content and how i need it to be easier so that i can focus my energy on writing and researching and learning! so i’ve begun following these accounts that just post occult pictures and then put quotes from occult books in the caption. that seems easy enough since i’m reading A LOT of different occult and esoteric books, and i have a fascination with darker imagery right now. so i think i will follow that thread and begin doing that on Twitter, Threads & Instagram for Kaotika. so that i can focus on writing.

In other news, I am asking Logos for help with focus and putting myself out there. I have so many good ideas and don’t have a problem starting them, but because i still don’t have a strong sense of myself yet, I get discouraged or confused-seeming about whether or not a certain idea is the “right” one and I quickly lose momentum. so i’m asking for focus—that i can stick to the things im interested now, knowing that consistent action in a direction will eventually lead me to what i desire, even if the things i engage in now aren’t “perfectly correct” or “exactly right.” i’m also asking for help putting myself out there, as i have a Capricorn stellium in my 10H and i know that it is in my destiny (NN and MC are there, among other placements) to build a business and be seen in the public for my career.

it hurts to have to start over and to have spent so much time floundering in static pain because i was never taught how to deal with emotions. i didn’t even know emotions were okay to have. i thought i was going to die if i let my emotions flow. it’s been a journey with generational trauma just to get to the point of “zero”

but the zero point is a beautiful point, i’m realizing, and this is why i’ve begun working on a book about it. i have so much to learn, and i have so much growth to do. every day feels like a punch in the face when i can’t accept that this is where i am: 32 (turning 33 in less than a month), with zero friends, zero support system, thousands in debt, low self-esteem &mostly a stranger to myself (i.e. i don’t really know what brings me true joy, or what i really love or am passionate about), &living at a homeless shelter.

it’s difficult, but im still here. and in comparison to how i was feeling about myself before, hopelessly unaware of just how self-neglectful and passively suicidal i was…i think i’m doing great. i’ve made progress even if it doesn’t seem like it. like i said: i feel as though before this point, i was in a NEGATIVE trajectory, and i have been able to turn that around and feel as though right now i am in a beautiful (&painful) zero point. where i will eventually be able to surpass this and reach great positive heights, the downward spiral was necessary. i had to see myself there, because that is what my generational trauma gave me. i am not going to make the same choices and mistakes as my family before me. i refuse to live in survival mode my entire life, to never have emotional intelligence, to hide behind addictions, clinging to harmful political rhetoric &dogmatic religious beliefs, to acting holier than thou, to settling for a life that i hate because i’m unwilling to confront the deep seated fear and pain in order to heal from the past. i can’t live like them.

the darkness felt like it would consume me, and in a sense, it did. but what they don’t tell you about darkness is that often times, YOU are the light. and i found myself there and faced my inner golem &the ring of power, if you will, &we are returning to zero, now. truly starting over &giving myself the freedom to dream new dreams.

i may be alone now, but this is building a strength and a love within me that no one can take away.

oh before i go, i have to say: i was of two minds about trying to actually begin to DO magick, and i let myself fall off w doing the LBRP daily. well, i’ve decided that no, i do seem to be passionate about magick and the occult, and i’d like to take it further and actually build my own practice. and my inner guide keeps pointing to the LBRP. there was a beautiful one page outline of it in a book on the Kabbalah that i found, so i started doing it again last night and plan to continue. that, and meditation every morning and night seems to be the “medicine” my holy daimon has delivered to me, just in time.

goodbye for now!

[poisonhemloc]

Time to spruce up some characters with the new tables, then

I posted Fork already, but honestly I was having fun with the character creation and both randomly generated and specifically built (joke) characters. I have actual (if limited) thoughts on the process and not just something character specific under everything.

...Also, due to sister @robezpierre​’s character also being given the short name ‘Fork,’ if I used a different short name, I got the suggestion of ‘too wordy, you should do something simple, like Fork’ and since it was the person who’s probably going to run the game when we play, I listened to him.

First, three randomly generated characters.

~

All That The Power Does, Is It Points At That Electrical Outlet, And Says It’s All Yours, And Hands You A Metal Fork (Short: Fork)(Name from a chunk of original writing I’m not otherwise using)

Ethos 7- sensible

Pathos 4- nervous

Logos 4- misinformed

Elemental (cold)- character has a cold aura

Mighty Muscles- character is much stronger than size suggests

Sticky Steps- character can cling to any surface

The Art of Revelation- you refute the lie of objective truth

Creed- 5 (Looking for a fight)

59 cm tall, weighs 11 kg

They have a ‘large or toothy mouth’ and appear to be a very slightly longer than average but much fatter ferret, that happens to be blue. And maybe there are some snowflakes coming out of their mouth. It’s fine.

(Right now I want to keep the randomly generated ones, random, but to actually run this character I’m thinking about changing the creed to 4 (Power comes from eating god) mostly due to context from the name)

~

Getta Loada Dese Guys (Short: Fork)(...straight bugs bunny reference)

Ethos 6- lucky

Pathos 4- cynical

Logos 5- thoughtful

Roving Members- character can detach and re-attach body parts and act through them at a distance

Amphibious- character can move and breathe on water like on land

Sticky Steps- yeah two characters got this

Art of Guising- you refute the lie of identity

Creed- 3 (Chaos! It’s only a crime if you get caught)

56 cm tall, 9 kg

Gravelly voice, bony flesh. They’re like a supersized tenrec, with spiky ‘hair’ made out of bones. When they’re underwater they have a bone snorkel and face mask that don’t actually seem to do anything.

~

I've Done Everything Right To Avoid Spoilers Of Any Kind And Yet Here The Hell You Are (Short: Fork)(That’s from a comment on the Outer Wilds reddit, about the new Zelda game)

Ethos 7- determined (foolhardy)

Pathos 4- uptight (sincere)

Logos 4- predictable

Deep Digger- character can dig through earth easily

Polycephalous- character is literally two faced, I chose a face on the front and on the back of the head

Superior Sense (taste and smell)- Keener taste and smell than a human’s.

Art of Ubiquity- you refute the lie of separation

Creed- 6 (God is a tyrant and must be Killed and Eaten)

56 cm tall, 12 kg

This one is a little muppety looking Thing that digs by eating the dirt rapidly and spitting it out of their other head? It’s inspired by Eoin Colfer but this fits the system in a way that will not derail every session

(If I edit this one to run, I’d swap Ethos and Pathos- this is not a Straight Man type character)

~ And the two non-randomly generated characters (names were chosen first)

Misery And Sorrow Follow Us Around, But When That Music Hits And The Band Starts To Play, Please-You, Better, Get-Out-Of-Our-Way (Short: Fork) (The name is from a Steam Powered Giraffe song)

Ethos 4- impulsive

Pathos 7- romantic

Logos 4- predictable

Fast Feet- character is much faster than they should be

Lanky Limbs- character has a very long reach

Masterful Mimic- character can vocally replicate any sound they’ve heard

Art of Conveyance- you refute the lie of location

Creed- 2 (There is something wrong with the cosmos on a fundamental level)

Tall and probably Heavy

A liquid metal possum, a very long legged, very fast, dancing possum, who is wearing red suspenders for some reason. They don’t have pants, so it’s anyone’s guess why they have the suspenders.

~

Why Are You Like This? Just Take Your Damn Soup (Short: Spoon) (Name is from Order of the Stick (1279))

Ethos 4- foolhardy

Pathos 5- hot-blooded

Logos 6- scheming

Bottomless Belly- character can swallow anything in their mouth, and potentially digest anything they can swallow, or hold it (as an extra inventory spot) for later

Hundred Handed- character has minimum four hands- actual number can vary

Superior Sense (taste)-  character has a sense of taste superior to humans

Art of Consumption- you refute the lie of limitations

Creed- 4 (This character literally eats gods)

Short and Heavy

Robezpierre gets final say (she suggested the name) but I’m thinking, it’s a fat, furry little, thing, with two heads you can just see the eyes looking up from under the hair, but the mouths are longer than they maybe should be, and you’re sure it just licked it’s own ear with a tongue that shouldn’t have fit in that mouth

Thoughts: First, for an idea of where I’m coming from, I’ve been playing Lancer and semi-recently the group I play in did a play test of Icon so

I’m having fun with the creator. Randomly generating a character is pretty fast, but it’s not too hard or too much more time to figure out a build to fit a joke name (Building a replica of a cartoon character seems doable but honestly, not something I’d use this for- there’s better payoff for doing that in a more serious system). The random feature table is nice- if it’s not obvious I default to ‘this animal but weirder’ and at minimum having more traits to suggest something different gets me closer to something that fits better with other looney tunes critters. This system feels like it incentivizes you to come into it without any kinda plan and figure out the character as you go along, which is also nice for one-shots or pick up and play or ‘normal dm is moving right now who wants to run something quick’

I had to read the arts and faucets a few times to understand what they were doing (the looney tunes type gags and the comedy trio) but I have a negative passive perception and an inability to pick up on hints so don’t take that too seriously.

Any serious comments have already been addressed or are going to happen, I think- moving some of the tables around to make it flow better and such.

The full playtest draft of Eat God is up. For those just joining us, I'll let the document's own intro do the talking:

---

Eat God is a game where you take on the role of a small gremlin-like creature. Though you're just as much a person as anybody else, the setting's dominant human culture tends to regard your kind as clever vermin, which means you don't get a lot of respect – but it also means you usually aren't seen as a threat, which may occasionally work to your advantage.

Unfortunately for the people in charge, you're not just any clever vermin: you and your companions are God-eaters, wandering practitioners of an esoteric discipline – part existential philosophy, part martial art – which affords you a limited capacity to bend the laws of reality to your will. As its name suggests, the God-eater's creed also has serious objections to authority in all its forms.

In a typical session of Eat God, you and your friends will arrive in a community that's suffering under some abuse of power, and proceed to cause problems on purpose. Owing to your limited outsider's perspective, your efforts may not necessarily help, but they'll definitely ensure that those responsible have a bad time. Actual theophagy may or may not be involved, depending on the situation at hand.

---

... or, for those not inclined to read between the lines, you're a bunch of muppets with Looney Tunes super powers wandering around a gritty fantasy milieu stirring shit up.

This is a little less finished than I prefer my first drafts to be, but I'm sixty pages deep and well and truly sick of filling out d66 tables – it's time to get it in front of eyes that aren't mine!

If you're coming in from the previous character creation teaser, revisions in this version (apart from, you know, the actual rules being present) include expanded treatment of Facets, minor rewrites to several Traits, major rewrites to at least a couple Rebellious Arts, and at least four entirely new d66 tables to play with.

You can find the link above, or right here.

As always, questions, criticisms, and bizarre rants are welcome!

[sneakers-and-shakes]

Starting A Blog: Behind The Scenes of My Blog

Often times I overcome writers block by writing about writing. If I’m writing fiction, I’ll make the plot about a writer struggling with writers block. If I’m writing my blog, well then I write about blogging.

So this month, in an effort to find a topic to write about I’ll be detailing out the bts (behind the scenes and not my favorite kpop boys unfortunately) about how I run my blog.

Now it’s apparent that my blog is far from successful but it does bring me personal fulfillment to put together a post and make my monthly update. I’ll go into more of that later but first let’s start at the beginning.

Blogspot:

I chose to start my blog on blogspot over creating a site on Squarespace or Wix because it was honestly the easier option. Blogspot is completely free to use and pretty intuitive to figure out. Since it’s focused on blogging, posts are super easy to put together. You don’t even have to buy the domain right away if you don’t want to invest any money and are trying to get started.

Naming/Header Art/Logo:

I named my blog sneakersnshakes after two things that I felt really defined me back when I made it four years ago. I still love converse and milkshakes so I’m not upset that I chose this name even though my tastes have evolved. It also is a nice alliteration and made for an easy logo.

There are lots of sites that will make you a logo which you can then buy. I used those an inspiration for my logo and ended up making my own on a drawing app on my ipad. The colors were also inspired from the sites I was using for research. I thought greens and blues would feel a little neutral and fit the idea of a lifestyle blog.

The header art was also made on the drawing app, I am not the best artist but I was able to trace a picture of converse and connect them to the classic image of an old school milkshake.

Blog Posts:

I started the blog because I have been slowly figuring out and evolving my journals, planners and lifestyle updates and changes and wanted to have a way to document them and share them with others.

My blog posts are usually inspired by the things I am currently doing, things I’m trying out or thoughts and concepts relevant to my life. Lately I’ve been struggling to come up with ideas so I’ve used Pinterest to get some inspiration about blog post ideas. A blog is so personal, even if a concept is broad when you actually write it out it becomes unique to you.

I started this post out on pen and paper first then re-wrote it as I typed it up to make it sound better and flow better.

I always recommend waiting overnight or a day after your first draft of any piece of writing before returning to it with fresh eyes. It’ll help you re-write and edit process as you find better ways to phrase your previous sentences.

Pictures/Graphics:

I try to always have a picture or graphic in all my posts so there is a reference image attached to the post on the site.

It’s also good to have a presence on other social media sites and my choice is Instagram. I try to post a new picture once a week. (Obviously I’m not making money off of this, nor is it my job so I know that’s not nearly often enough but it works for my purposes).

(I also cross-post everything on tumblr).

My favorite app for making graphics is Desygner. I absolutely love this app, there are so many templates even if you’re just using the free version (which I am) and I use it to make every graphic for this blog including the Instagram posts that declare I have a new blog post out.

What I have learned:

I mentioned before that this whole process, despite being “unsuccessful” brings me personal fulfillment and it’s because the whole process: writing the post, editing, adding pictures, making the graphics, and finally posting is not just a labor of love but when you see that finished product there is pride in that labor.

It’s challenged me to write in different ways (since I primarily write fiction) and given me an avenue to share my thoughts. It’s also motivated me to actually do and try different things (do it for the blog) and broadened my outlook as I try to come up with topics.

When I go back through all the different posts over the years there is a strong sense of pride for actually accomplishing the full package of everything it takes to get one post out.

This blog will likely never gain popularity or become successful, but it will remain a testament to my effort and thoughts and passion for the craft.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it!

[hellafuckedup666]

Hey so it’s been a while

I felt like writing wasn’t very therapeutic for me these past few months. Also I didn’t like the new tumblr logo. But I like the little skeleton they made in a « T » for halloween or something. Haven’t done any updates on the app since, to keep it like that. Makes me feel comfortable, not like the other one. It feels so « mainstream », I don’t know. I don’t really like colors.

I learned the reason why some people like creepy stuff like skeletons and dark shit. I’m an anxious person. Always on edge, always uncomfortable. My safe place is unconfortable, my confort zone in uncomfortable. When I don’t feel the anxiety rushing through my body I feel wrong. I feel nothing really. Well turns out creepy stuff puts you in that uncomfortable space and makes you feel normal, when you know you aren’t.

It also replicates my state of mind I think. No one really knows who I am and how I feel. I’ve been labeled as mysterious by some girls I just met. It’s like I have so many layers of personnality on the outside that the only time I feel like myself is late at night thinking about depressive things. Truth is I’m not okay and I feel incredibly lonely. So much it hurts. It’s like I’m living in my own little world and all the people around me are just connecting with each other. And I can’t. I feel out of touch and most of the time, numb. It’s like emotions are stuck inside me. I don’t know how to cry anymore and it scares me how much some things don’t bother me that much. It’s a very weird coping mechanism.

I feel like vampires in the vampire diaries when they turn off their humanity. It feels good for a while because you are not hurting anymore, but you know you can’t live like this forever. The thing is, when you turn it back on, you know your heart will fucking break. And you’ll have to process your shit. I don’t think I’m ready.

Every day feels like the last. Time is going by so fast and I feel like I’m watching myself live my life instead of living it. Like I’m just the narrator for a character that is making very, very bad decisions. I wanna shake some sense into myself. But I’m just watching it unfold, like I have no say in the matter.

I’m lonely. Fucking lonely. But I can’t find the strength to let anyone in. I’m scared my humanity will turn back on. Also, I fucking hate myself. God I hate myself so much. I hate my fucking body. I hate that I’ve gained weight. I hate that I’m tired all the time. I hate that I’m not doing enough. I hate food and calories. I hate that I’m a stress eater. I hate that the only comfort I find is in skeleton logos and bowls of ramen. I hate that I have to diet. Because I do. But I always feel fucking guilty when I eat anything else but protein. I hate the guilt. I hate that I love the guilt because it makes me drink water when I’m hungry. I hate when I give in to the late night snack. I hate that I love the taste of it.

I wanna scream.

[fueledbysano]

𝟎𝟎𝟗 | still take you home

summary: and as he looked into her eyes deeply for the first time, he could see the future that he never dreamt of, but now longed for more then ever. [ Y / N ] shares a sweet moment with Mikey as she treats his wounds after a fight. Takemichi meets the pair's daughter from the future.

content/warnings: this story contains major Tokyo Revengers manga spoilers, canon divergence setting, tenjiku arc setting, comfort, fluff, angst, detailed writing of violence, weapons, blood, death, and strong language.

a/n: using a new layout :) also i apologize for the lack of updates i still very much love this series but I had to reread the arc and it required a lot of finding for free time to do that. anyways, here's nine.

wc: 4k

series masterlist | previous | next

The school gates after hours were a place for lovers and cliques. Every available seat was occupied by either— a couple gazing into one another’s eyes; or a fun group cracking jokes. Yet by the fountain stood a lonesome girl, statue-like in her styled uniform.

[ Y / N ] almost belonged, but not quite.

You dressed in scrubby maroon trousers like all others and wore a white button-up with a complementing necktie under a black leather jacket patched with some band logos that had been in fashion before you were born.

While it quite sucks that none of your close friends in Toman or the girls go to the same school, the loneliness in the environment is a blessed curse. I think most people will agree when I say— Existence by yourself offers the possibility for true tranquility to settle every aspect of your being after a stressful day.

Growing up alone was terrifying to you. You’re fortunate in a way that you eventually had people’s pleasant company that has brought harmony, delight, and a fresh sense of surprise. All while respecting your personal time.

We occupy this equilibrium, and it is wise to be aware of these emotional ebbs and flows.

This school was your only “break” from the bustle of you and your friends’ gang life, so it was only acceptable that none of the people here truly knows the reasons behind your absences, as well as your reserved and serious demeanor; and you were happy to maintain decent grades whilst keeping a low profile.

However, trying to live two different lives will eventually catch on, and will make things complicated.

“No shit, she does street racing?!” You subtly turn your head to the right, only to see in your peripheral vision the clique of the school’s wealthy and “popular” kids seated on the other side of the fountain.

Were they talking about me? You question yourself, and maintain your posture. You know it’s possible that at some point, your schoolmates will have to find out that you break speed limits (and when necessary, bones) for a living. and you were never really ready for that.

“Makes sense, she doesn’t even come to school every day and we’ve never seen her outside. Probably gets into fights too.” One girl spoke. You find it quite obnoxious of her to spread rumors about someone right behind them.

“She seems cool, invite her over and let’s ask.” One guy spoke up.

“Yo, [ L / N ]–chan!” The group finally made themselves visible to you by surrounding your space.

“Care for a drink?” A girl offered.

“That depends.” You answered, relaxing your shoulders and letting your elbows situate on the concrete behind you.

“It’s on us!” They insisted.

“I can hear you, y'know?” You spoke, referring to the earlier incident.

“Yeah. So… Do you still wanna come?” The girl asks.

“Hm,” You hum in response, taking a few steps forward as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. Not only they’re obnoxious gossipers, but also rude.

Did they mean alcohol? If so, you didn't want to overshare and drive under the influence. If they meant coffee or anything of the like, it’s always nice to get treated. And although you don’t exactly like it, small talk would do. It’s a small price to pay for their company and drink.

However, having heard what they have been talking about earlier, you knew their intentions right away. So, you had to decline.

Just as you were about to respond, a crowd of students at the front started to steer clear of the area as the sound of a familiar, loud motorcycle engine was fast approaching. You hum to yourself before walking past the group, just in time as Mikey pulls over at the front gate.

He was quite earlier than the usual time when he fetches you from school.

“Hey, B. Hop in.” He spoke, tossing a helmet your way which you effortlessly caught just above your height.

Mikey kept a close glare on the group of students who were surrounding you. “I’ll catch you another time.” you mounted the seat behind him on the motorcycle before securing the helmet over your head.

“Tch.” Although you couldn’t see it, one of the girls rolled her eyes and took her friend as they left.

“Hey, Mikey.” You smiled at him through the side mirror, encasing his torso in your arms.

“Come on.” He pats your arm before revving the engine loudly and then speeding off.

“Were those kids bothering you?” He asks once you reach a quieter road.

“Actually, I can’t tell.” You answered. “This isn’t the way to my house. Where are we off to?”

“Emma. She wants to have you and Hina over for dinner.”

“Yes!”

Not long enough, the two had pulled over in front of a small record store where Emma part-timed.

“Everyone will meet here. Do you mind waiting?”

“Not at all, I like hanging out here.” You answer upon opening the glass doors to the shop, the dainty bells above making a sweet chime which notified Emma of your presence.

“[ Y / N ]-chan! Let me just close up and we’ll go.” She spoke from behind the counter.

“Take your time, I’ll be here.” You waved her off, making yourself comfortable on the common area couch. “What’s new this week?” Your eyes were focused on scanning through the vinyl records to test out on the player.

However, just as you picked your choice, Mikey had already put on a Linkin Park record which started to spin and play on the player. With a smile, you relaxed back down on the seat, letting your legs rest above Mikey’s lap which earned a faint hum from him.

But just as he saw your cozy state laid on the couch comfortably, he pats on your leg with a smile, keeping it in place before slouching onto a more comfortable position himself.

“I’m so glad we got to go home early today, we have been preparing for the event all day…” Mikey didn’t even hear your fussing, his mind too clouded with the thought of your closeness and how he wished you didn’t have other plans and stay just as it is.

“Mikey, it's almost time.” Draken’s voice followed the store bell chime, diverting your head to the Toman founders heading to see their leader.

“Right.” You let your legs fall to the ground to let Mikey get up, then shift to get up on your own.

“Hey, Emma! We're leaving.” Draken calls.

“Yeah, say goodbye to your brother.” Mikey added.

“Bye, Mikey!” Emma waved from behind the counter. “And uh, goodbye, Draken!” She smiled sweetly at the tall boy as the rest of them left.

However, Mikey remained, eyeing his friends on their bikes before turning to you, who returned to the seat to inspect your phone.

“Hey.” He was situated on your side, making his presence known.

“Hm?” You hummed in response, now looking the boy in his eyes.

“A kiss before we leave?” With a pout, he asks so adoringly, making it impossible for you to deny. Which you didn't, leaning forward to initiate a sweet kiss with the boy as your second kiss with him.

“You're my first kiss, you know?” You breathed out in between kisses.

“And I you.” He sweetly responds. “And I want a thousand more.” He added, pulling you in for another kiss before he leaves.

“Have fun at dinner.” Mikey grins.

“Good… luck with the meeting?” You chuckled.

“I'll see you soon.” Mikey's hands wandered down your waist for a hug before sending himself off. However, upon turning to the doors, Draken stood tall with his arms crossed and an impatient look on his face.

“AH!” Mikey yelped.

“Tsk.” Draken shook his head.

“Oh, there’s the lint.” Your hands scurried to his shirt to flick off a "lint".

“Bye bye!”

“Bye…” You waved in response, watching him leave the store with Draken.

“So, what are we having?” You turn to Emma just as she leaves the staff room.

“Hina is showing us the new place that opened up down the road.” She smiled, flipping the “CLOSED” sign on the door you’d just walked past.

“Hina-chan! This is an amazing choice of place. The food and ambience is really nice.” You chirp just as the waiter leaves upon serving your desert.

“Hm, I wish I had ordered the parfait too…” Hina admired the treat on the table.

“We can share, here.” You insist, pushing the tall glass in the middle of the table.

“So, my friends at school were talking about kid names,” Hina mentioned while digging into the layers of cream,

“Why?” You wondered, picking off the cherry on top.

“We drew our ‘future kids’ in arts class today. The teacher was asking for a name too.” She explained.

“I’m glad we didn’t do that at my school. Would’ve taken me more than a day. I’m very indecisive.” You chuckled.

“You would.” She agreed.

“Anyways, what did you come up with?”

“I really like the name Lili.” She spoke.

“That’s so cute, Hina-chan! I would’ve put Kuroe.” Emma agreed.

“Like the American movie? That’s so nice.” You spoke.

“What about you, [ Y / N ]?” Emma nodded in agreement before turning to you.

“I… don’t know. Never really thought of it. Ask me again in like… Twelve years?” You chuckled, tossing in a random number as you finished the fruit.

While digging into the parfait, you were lost in thought when all of a sudden you remembered a name you adored and had once read in a book you enjoyed. Morin, that’s right.

“But, I do like the sound of the name—” Just as you were about to mention it, your phone rang and displayed the name of one of your teammates. “Excuse me.” You sigh, sliding out of the booth you sat on.

During your absence, Emma and Hina carried on with the conversation until the blonde girl had emptied her cup of tea.

“Alright, it's reading time.” One of her found-hobbies was Tasseography, which is the art of identifying symbols and interpreting messages found in the shapes and configurations of tea leaves.

“I’ll finish this then do mine too!” Hina spoke, sipping on her own cup.

“Yeah, me too. You haven't done my leaves in a while, Emma.” You returned just in time, pushing your empty tea cup towards the girl.

“Alright, give me.” She picked the ceramic cup, carefully inspecting the shapes at the bottom of it.

“[ Y / N ]–chan?”

“Yeah?” You hum, watching her reactions.

“Are you and Mikey dating?” She asks right away.

“What?” Your eyes widened, curious of what she had in mind.

“You see— this sign here means strong emotion, and uh… here is a heart for love, romance, and home…” She observed, showing the symbols for you.

“If the zodiac wheel is printed on this cup, the heart would be on… the Leo house.” She added.

“Mikey-kun is a Leo!” Hina mentioned.

“Yeah, exactly.” Emma agreed. “This chain pattern right here means a series of events and responsibility so you will be busy…” She continued,

“and uh, the cross sign here means… plus, or addition. Something or someone is coming into your life. That’s all.” Emma finished, placing the cup back down.

“Is that bad?” You wondered.

“Only fate knows.” She smiled, which you hummed in response to.

“Your turn, Hina-chan!” Emma turned to her.

“So, all that from an empty cup of tea?” Hina questioned.

“Amazing, huh?” She responded, this time with the other girl’s tea cup in her hands.

“Uhm, about Mikey…” You started,

“You don't worry about me! I always knew you two would end up together, you know?” Emma chuckled and paused for a moment. “and I helped him pick the flowers he gave you, so I figured.” She shrugged.

“You know, I hated being given flowers. It’s like people are giving me something to look after. Like a pet.” You mentioned, slightly slouching on your booth. “So I’d rip them apart and put them in my car to smell nice.” You added.

“But, I didn’t do that with the ones he gave, they’re still fresh on my desk.” You smiled to yourself before noticing your two friends giggling at your words. “Whatever.” You shrugged off, turning your gaze away.

“I never knew someone would like my brother this much.” Emma pointed out.

“Shut up.” You laughed, tossing a napkin towards their way.

“Okay, I’m done reading yours, Hina-chan.”

“Tell me everything!”

After your dinner, Hina insisted on heading home while you and Emma decided to stop by at Toman’s meeting. Sitting on the trunk of one of the parked cars, you managed to get a view of the scene in front of the taller guys who were towering your view.

Mikey is currently in the middle of a fight with a few guys, with two of them left standing and evidently struggling to fight back.

“I thought this was just a meeting.” You wondered, sipping from the bottle of water in your hand.

“He’s punishing the guys who attacked the third division.” Mitsuya joined your spot.

“That gang, right.” You nodded.

Upon finishing the bottle, you continued to watch the ongoing fight. This time, with only one guy left standing. Be careful— you kept on thinking. Everyone is aware of Mikey’s confidence, yet, you could only wish for his safety and certain victory at this very moment.

He, however, noticed your presence by how you stood out on that car trunk and the way a lamp post shred light to your frame.

“Ooou!” Some members winced once the guy managed to land a punch onto Mikey’s cheek, in which he quickly shrugged off and returned, this time with much greater intensity, sending the guy to the ground.

“Alright, everyone’s dismissed. Scram.” Draken demanded, instantly sending everyone to clear the area, hop on their bikes, then leave.

“You took a pretty hard hit.” You voiced, touching his jaw with your fingertips as you observed the bruising skin.

Mikey quietly awed at your gesture, in which he responded with an “I’m fine.” You nodded before taking out a can of soda from the plastic bag of the convenience store you’d stopped by earlier to buy snacks.

Mikey utters a soft “thank you” before taking you to stand by his bike. “Welcome.” You smiled, leaning against the seat along with him.

“[ Y / N ], you do know that… I will never hurt you, right?” He blurts, holding the cold can against his face.

You then realized where this may be coming from, which you assured him in an instant. “Mikey,” You sighed, turning to face him.

“When you looked at me… you seemed scared.” He added.

“I’m not. I’ve seen you fight like a million times.” You chuckled. “It’s just that… this time, I was extra worried for you.” You abruptly turned away from the blurt of emotion before deciding to get to your point. “... and Kenchin. Because then, he’ll be the one who will treat your injuries.” You joked, lightening up the mood.

“To me, you’re our Mikey.” You spoke, taking away the can from his hand. “Who will do everything in his power to protect the people he cares about.” You smiled, carefully cradling his face in your palms. “So to answer your question… I do know that. Always have.” You reiterated with a gentle smile.

In response, he gently pulls your chin towards him and carefully surrounds his lips with yours as you elevate your head to his and offer your lips.

Slightly smiling against each other’s lips, his eyes flutter shut in response, intoxicated by your effect on him.

“Good night guys, be safe on the way home.” On the other side of the parking lot there stood Mitsuya who was preparing to leave with his motor, waving at Draken and Chifuyu who had sped off to the road.

“Your girlfriend is not here?” He turned to Takemichi who stood still, making sure that everyone had left safely.

“[ Y / N ] said she went home early.” He says.

“Oh, need a ride then?” Mitsuya offered.

“I’m fine, thank you.” He politely declined with a bow before bidding their goodbyes.

“Nakata Wheels Downtown.” Morin read out the signage on top of the building, making sure that this is the place where [ Y / N ] lived.

It had been an hour since she stood on the opposite side of the road, thinking through how to approach her mother’s past self. Suddenly, a motorcycle pulls over at the front just as she was about to cross. “Shit.” She cursed, realizing it was [ Y / N ] and Mikey.

“Good night.” She spoke softly, sending the boy off with a hug before he sped off, then blinking the tail lights three times.

[ Y / N ] stayed outside until the boy came out of sight then she carefully lifted the garage doors, tossing her belongings in a car before getting on it to leave.

“Oh, where are you going?” She spoke to herself, hiding into a blinder spot to avoid being seen.

With a failed attempt to connect to [ Y / N ] she turns away to retreat, deciding to start looking for places to sleep at. “At least I’m sure that’s where she lived.” She sighs, sitting at one of the benches at the park she passes by.

With a heavy sigh, she began to slowly slouch and drift into a deep sleep on the uncomfortable bench, until someone talking on the playgrounds had woken her up.

“Mmmn. Better get back home before mom and dad wake up!” Upon opening her eyes, she sees a pink-haired girl and a blonde boy talking by the slides.

“Hina, um…” The boy sighed, “About that stuff I just said, I mean, the future stuff.” He rambled.

Hina?

“I didn’t hear a thing.” The girl smiled in response.

“Huh?”

“Bye-bye, Takemichi-kun!” She turns to leave, waving the boy goodbye.

“Awright! I got a lotta stuff to get done!” He yells at himself with a pep-talk. “For this time-leap, I know who the enemy is…”

Morin gasped at the mention of his name. Takemichi is [ Y / N ]’s close friend in the future, who could apparently time leap too. Has she finally found someone to approach?

But of course, she thought it would be hilarious to mess up with him first.

As he was continuing to do a monologue, Morin had already sneaked behind, landing a slide kick to his ankles which caused him to fall on his ass on the ground.

“What, who are you?!” The boy yelled, looking up at her with surprise.

“Hello, uncle.” She smiled before stepping on his feet to keep him in place.

“Who?” He asks in confusion.

“You know, I genuinely thought—” She was about to answer until someone had dragged her shirt from the back, “Wait, what—” Upon facing the person, Hina was back with an angered expression, making sure to land a slap on Morin’s cheek the moment she turned to her.

“Who are you?” She asks.

“Why’d you do that? And yea, who are you even?” Takemichi winced, getting up from the ground.

“Sano.”

“Eh? Sano?” He asked in surprise.

“Morin [ L / N ]-Sano.”

“D&D motors” Read on the shop [ Y / N ] went off to collect her car that had been damaged and repaired.

“He looks good as new.” Seishu says, tossing the car keys to [ Y / N ].

“He does, thank you.” She agreed, fingers brushing over to the once damaged door which was now brand-new quality. “Welcome back, baby.” She muttered.

Inui was counting the cash she had paid him when her phone started to ring, “[ Y / N ]– desu.” She answers upon seeing Hina’s name on the screen.

“Hey, are you home yet?” The girl on the other line spoke.

“No, I’m on my way to Yokohama.” [ Y / N ] answered.

“Huh? This late?”

“Racing stuff. Are you home?” She asks, changing the matters in an instant.

“Yeah. Takemichi-kun just dropped me off.”

“That’s great, good night Hina-chan.” She nodded.

“Good night, [ Y / N ]-chan!”

“Try not to answer the phone while you’re driving this time.” Seishu noted, folding up a greased towel in his hands.

“Too soon.” [ Y / N ] turns to him with a straight face. “Still giving you a tip though. Thanks.” But she smiles in an instant, slipping a 500-yen bill in his work shirt pocket before getting in the car to leave for Yokohama.

“[ Y / N ] is sneaking off somewhere. We can’t take you to her.” Hina spoke upon ending the call.

“Of course you can’t!” Morin scoffed. “What’s your plan? Drop me off at her place like— ‘Hey! It’s me! Oh, who’s this? It’s your child. Gotta go’!” She narrated.

“I don’t understand…” With brows tense, and deep into thoughts, Takemichi spoke out. “You weren’t even born yet when I time leaped.” He mentioned, having recalled that [ Y / N ] just found out she was pregnant at the hospital in the future.

“Seems like I’m from far ahead than where you were from.” Morin added.

“Are you sure you’re not another half-sibling or something?” Takemichi scratched his head. Morin sighed in response, taking out a folded up photo from her pocket.

“This is what dad looked like in the future, right?” She asks, showing a photo of an adult Mikey and [ Y / N ] on a beach. She had snuck this from when they were packing things, meaning to keep it in an album before she miraculously went back in time.

“He’s gone and it was just me and mom.” She added.

“Seems that we have the same abilities but you are physically here.” Takemichi pointed out. “Fascinating.” He added.

“What do you mean?”

“I can only time leap twelve years into the past, then back to the future. However, only my consciousness ‘travels’. I’m basically the grown up ‘me’ in my high school self.” He explained. “You weren’t even alive this time. You’re really here. The future [ Y / N ] must be wondering where you are.”

“That is so cool.” She replied. “But, you're right. So, what do we do?” Morin asks.

“Go back. Who’s your trigger?” He asks.

“...what?”

“Listen, what I’m doing here can get dangerous. I… I died in the future I just came from.” He explained, muttering the last part loud enough only for her to hear.

“Damn.” She sighed heavily.

“The [ Y / N ] I know in the future has been hurt enough already, please just come back to her before anything happens to you. She can’t lose both you and Mikey-lun.” He stressed.

“You’re here because you want to get her back, right?” Morin hinted. “Well, I’m here to be with them. I’m not going back until I’m sure mom and dad end up together.” She confided.

“Tsk.” Takemichi sighed, burying his head in his palms.

“Are we gonna do this or what?” The girl questioned.

“You really are their kid.” He sighed in response.

“Eh?”

“You’re brave. Like Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ].” He vouched. “Fine, we’re going to talk tomorrow. For now, do you have anywhere to stay?”

“No. I’ve been sleeping on trains since I got here.” Morin answered.

“You can stay at our home.” Hina insisted. “Will your folks be okay with that?” She asks. “ I’ll just tell them you’re sleeping over because your parents aren’t home.” Hina says. “That works.” The other girl agreed.

“Alright, let’s get going, then.” Takemichi stood from the slide, following the girls as they walked ahead.

“So, that’s how the slap felt.” Morin says, feeling her cheek.

“Hm?” Hina turns to her.

“Mom said you slapped dad in the face one time.” She replied.

“Eh, yes…” Hina chuckled tensely, “Anyways, I’m really sorry about that.” She added.

“No worries.” Morin laughed.

“I still can’t believe it, you really are Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ]’s kid.” Takemichi mentioned it upon listening to their conversation.

“She has Mikey-kun’s hair too.” Hina pointed out.

“For the record, this is really weird to me too.” Morin turns to face him with a laugh. He got shivers just by looking at her due to how startlingly similar her expressions were to those of her father.

“Wait until you meet them, I guess.”

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