#I also made a new logo so I don’t have it write it every time I hope its not too annoying
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fatratinatophat · 4 months ago
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Worlds ugliest comic award goes to me.
Idk how to do backgrounds so it looks awful, any tips are highly appreciated. I didn’t try very hard on the panels can you tell?
Also if you couldn’t tell this is a pretty indulgent and very specific headcanon of mine where both the craft siblings are EXTREMELY protective of each other and will smack tf outta people who bully the other one. Shrimpo won’t tease one if the other is nearby cause he knows he’s gonna get either slapped or scratched. I can already bet nobody’s gonna like this but I spent too much time on it so I’m posting it anyways
Ik Shrimpo is the only character here with no headcanons, I plan to make a design for him but I’m still working on my references right now (Will be posted dw) so I’m focusing on them
Bonus without extra background stuff below
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azzibuckets · 6 months ago
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Okay but can we get a blurb about Azzi being in Montana before her and she wakes up to P getting home and sliding into bed trying not to wake her
sappy and sleepy [pazzi]
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
a/n: anon i tried to incorporate as many of your requests as i could! thank you for this prompt it was super fun to write
word count: 1.2k
masterlist
As soon as her hand twisted the doorknob and the door creaked open, Azzi’s heart ached. She swore she could smell the lingering scent of Paige’s perfume, even though the rational part of her mind knew that Paige hadn’t stepped foot in the room for almost an entire year.
Although Paige hadn’t grown up in this room, her mom had it reserved for her when she came back during the summer, giving her daughter the liberty to decorate the space however she liked. And now Azzi appreciated it more than ever, because looking at the posters plastered with UConn greats and husky logos felt as familiar to her as home. Now only one thing was missing.
Azzi flopped on the bed, tired from the plane ride over. She cursed when she realized she’d forgotten her charger at home. Hopefully Paige had a spare one, she thought as she started rummaging through the drawers of her beside cabinet. As soon as she opened the first drawer, though, a polaroid fell out.
Azzi’s heart doubled in size when she flipped the polaroid over to find a photo of herself from the Minnesota state fair from two summers ago. In it, she was holding a cone of ice cream, chocolate sauce dripping all over her fingers. Tucked under her elbow was the stuffed animal that Paige insisted on winning for her every year (and Azzi never got tired of it). She had been smiling hard, her eyes crinkled as she stared past the camera. Shaking her head, Azzi snapped a photo of the polaroid.
💗: You’re such a sap
💗: Attachment: 1 Image
bighead: ?? where did you find this.
💗: In your drawers
bighead: when did i give you permission to go through my things🤔🤔🤔
bighead: and im taking this as a sign you got home safe?
💗: You’re not distracting me from the fact that you creepily have photos of me all over your room
bighead: youre being so dramatic
bighead: and you can’t blame me
bighead: i always miss you so much
bighead: now you know what it’s like to be in montana all bored without ur gf
💗: Don’t say that. You have your family
bighead: you’re my family
💗: Tell me that when you put a ring on it
bighead: oh i will
Azzi bit her cheek, trying not to beam from Paige’s text. “Azzi! You ready for lunch, hon?” Amy’s voice called from downstairs. Azzi stuffed the polaroid back in the drawer and clambered down to the kitchen.
“Hey, Amy. Thank you again for letting me stay,” Azzi said, going in for another hug.
Amy airily waved her hand, leading Azzi to the dining table. “No worries at all. We‘ve got a lot of exciting stuff planned for this week. Mini golf tomorrow with the kids, then this new restaurant is opening up on Tuesday and I thought it would be a nice date night for you and Paige so I already made a reservation for the two of you!”
Amy continued talking excitedly about their stay at Montana, and Azzi appreciated it, she really did, but she was also exhausted from the plane ride and all she wanted to do was be in Paige’s arms after way too much time apart. The ESPYs photos that Paige had posted an hour ago didn’t help either. Her girlfriend had looked so damn good, her hair up in that style Azzi loved, and Azzi had spent more time than she was willing to admit staring at the photo, wanting to run her hands through that hair.
Later that night, Azzi put on Love and Basketball on her laptop as she got ready for bed. Paige couldn’t facetime because she was at a party, but Azzi still wanted a little piece of her girlfriend with her before she fell asleep, just a little something to make her dreams a little sweeter.
💗: Attachment: 1 Image
💗: Heard you liked this movie??
bighead: you miss me SO much
💗: I do
bighead: then i got some good news ;)
💗: What
💗: Paige?
💗: Helloooo
💗: I’m not gonna repost your espys post.
bighead: oh hey i’m back😁
💗: You’re a fucking idiot
bighead: wait can you repost the second slide i look the best in that one
💗: Tell me the goddamn good news
bighead: Attachment: 1 Image
bighead: flight leaves in 1 hour!!
💗: Wait I thought you had a morning flight?
bighead: well the shoot tmr got canceled and i missed you too much so…..
💗: You’re wasting all your money booking these last minutes flights.
bighead: you dont gotta worry about me baby
💗: 🙄 Text me when you’re home and I’ll let you in
bighead: no don’t stay up baby i won’t home until like 3 am
💗: I wanna see you
bighead: $10 you’re gonna be crashed out
💗: I guess you’re gonna be spending all your money today then
••••••••••
“She’s asleep, isn’t she?”
Amy wrapped her daughter in a hug. “Don’t you dare wake her up.”
Paige shook her head. She was slightly disappointed she wouldn’t be able to talk to Azzi tonight, but she was glad the younger girl was getting her rest. She slipped into the room as quietly as she could, her heartbeat speeding up as soon as she saw the lump on the bed.
Kneeling down, Paige brushed her fingertips over the crease in Azzi’s forehead, trying to smooth over the worry lines. Azzi looked ethereal in her sleep, the moonlight from the window casting a glow over her face and illuminating the sharpness of her jaw and the pinkness of her lips. Paige pressed a light kiss on her cheek, trying to be as gentle as possible, but before she knew it, Azzi was stirring.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open. “Paige?” she groaned, hands going to rub her eyes.
Paige smiled guiltily. “Hi, baby,” she breathed out. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, it’s okay.” Azzi reached for Paige, still half asleep, and Paige sat at the edge of the bed and let her girlfriend nuzzle her face into her stomach.
Paige ran her fingers through Azzi’s hair, marveling at how she managed to smell so good all the time. “Is now a good time to say that you owe me $10?” she whispered.
“Shut up,” Azzi whined, her fingers jabbing at Paige’s ribs but failing to do much damage with her sluggishly lethargic movements.
Paige chuckled before brushing one last kiss against Azzi’s temple. “I’m gonna get ready for bed,” she said softly. “I’ll be right back.”
“No.” Azzi’s voice was surprisingly demanding considering how sleepy she was. “You woke me up, now you’re staying.”
Paige rolled her eyes. She hated the idea of getting into her sheets while in her dirty airport clothes, but once Azzi’s hands clutched tighter around her waist, she knew she was a goner. Sighing, she slipped under the covers with her girlfriend. Azzi happily burrowed herself in Paige’s chest, weaving her leg between the blonde’s. Her hand slipped up Paige’s shirt and rested there, palm on her abdomen, and Paige shivered at the bare contact.
“I really did try to stay up,” Azzi whispered, already falling asleep again.
“It’s okay. Go back to sleep, hm?” Paige tightened her hold around Azzi. The last two weeks had been ridiculously fun, getting to see Nika again, going to partnership events, and presenting at the ESPYs, but this was by far her favorite part - when she and Azzi were so tangled up, every part of their bodies interwoven, their limbs and hair and even the beating of their hearts connecting, it felt like they were breathing as one.
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afternoondreaming · 5 months ago
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No Business Like Show Business (1/?)
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It’s no secret that Mr. Puzzles isn’t the most…Creative guy around. So he makes the shrewd business decision to hire you- the screen writer! What could possibly go wrong? [Okay so my secret is that I adore Mr. Puzzles and that he’s my comfort character but I…Really don’t like SMG4 as a whole. Personally I just don’t like the show when the TV ain’t in it. So, forgive me if anything is inaccurate in regards to the world or lore! I’m working off the Wiki here 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。. Either way, this is the first of hopefully many chapters! Lemme know if you want more! Also RIP formatting]
The TV producer sat in his chair, hunched forward with his elbows against his knees as his electronic head rested against his steepled hands. Darkness ensconced him in his eerily quiet office, only the dim light of his own screen and the countless monitors in front of him for any light. His defeat at the hands of the SMG4 crew had been… Humiliating, to say the least. Not only did they beat his screen in, but they had bested him at his own game. What he dedicated his very life to. Television. They had gotten their five stars so much quicker than he did and with seemingly much less effort. There was no possible way the crew had studied more in the realm of film and video than him— he had literally seen everything! From eternal classics to infomercials, Mr. Puzzles could perfectly recall every piece of cinema ever created. And, despite all that work, he still lost.
“No, no use in dwelling on that now.” He muttered to himself, aching for a smoke. “What can I do differently…?” Rising from his chair, he began to pace his office as he wracked his brain. Perhaps branch into Japanese styled game-shows? No, he couldn’t possibly. If his ultimate game-show didn’t work, then zany Japanese game-shows wouldn’t, either. Maybe foreign films? Too niche an audience and it wasn’t as if his Italian endeavor went splendidly. What hadn’t he copied (or rather referenced) yet? There had to be something…!
His frantic patrol of his office stopped short. Maybe… That was the exact problem. He hasn’t made anything new. His knowledge of all things film was encyclopedic, but his creative muscles? Woefully inept. He had always produced everything alone. Scripts? Him. Effects? Also him. Hosting? Who else could possibly do that job? Not as if he would let anybody else take the helm; but if he hired a screen writer… Maybe he could finally write an original enough script to get a five star rating. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You had heard of Puzzlevision before, I mean, who hadn’t? They were a juggernaut of the industry. Pumping out content hand over fist (for better or for worse). Yet, they were an enigma of a company at the same time- nobody ever seemed to have any work connections to them despite all the content they produce. It was the golden ticket of job opportunities. So, just like many of your coworkers, you submitted your résumé to their business address. Never expecting to hear anything back like the many others who tried their hand at it. However, currently, you sat in shock staring at the letter you just opened on your desk. The small TV logo on crisp letterhead, with a whole message to boot.
‘Dear Applicant,
Puzzlevision Studios has reviewed your submitted résumé and would like to thank you for your interest in our company. Given your stated qualifications and past headed projects, we would like to offer to you the title of Screen Writer. If you would like to pursue this opportunity, please visit the studio at the return address during regular business hours.’
Puzzlevision had never even answered applicants before, much less an affirmative response. Surely more talented writers had to have applied? It wasn’t as if you were inept. In fact, you had worked on many successful projects. Leading them through any bumps in the road you might have faced and being well regarded amongst your peers. But, a job at Puzzlevision… It all seemed too good to be true. Your coworker, Tori, rounded your shared cubicle wall to say her good mornings to you as she always did. “Yo!” She chirped, leaning on your shoulder as she looked ahead of you absentmindedly. “What’s got you so star struck? …Oh shit.” Her eyes must have skimmed your letter, given she was now just as shocked as you. “Well look at you! I can say I worked with a big shot before they got big~!”
“Yeah…!” You replied, excitement beginning to replace the shock. Of course you had to take this! You liked your company, sure, but anyone would give for an opportunity like this. “I gotta draft my resignation…! Pack up my cubicle, get my clothes dry cleaned for the interview- oh God I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Chill, chill!” Tori crooned, patting your shoulder gently when she removed herself from it. “No need to panic. That’ll get you nowhere. Just take your PTO today and draft the resignation while you get your things in order. Once you get the gig, we’ll grab a celebratory dinner, ‘kay?”
“Definitely!” You quickly grabbed the things you had just set down to start your day, ready to depart posthaste for all your prepping. “Tell the boss I’m outta here! Text you later!” You bolted back towards the entrance, waving back at Tori as she called out a goodbye. This was going to be a whirlwind.
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accio-victuuri · 2 years ago
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THE STORY OF THE 85 LOGO 🏍️
Since Yibo was spotted on the race track, the conversation around the logo is picking up again. This has been discussed so many times before & in bits and pieces but I want to give it a go and make my own version of it’s history. It’s a mix of the logo itself as well as the cpn speculation surrounding it’s origin. I’m not gonna talk about other related designer zz candies, this is only for the logo.
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I used this video by R背靠大树好乘凉W as a guide on the timeline but i did my own fact checking and added a lot more points especially with Parts II-IV of this post.
I. THE ORIGIN
11/10/2018, Yamaha Racing Team weibo account posts the first look of the 85 logo. At this point, everyone already knew who this is supposed to be. It’s also cute how the time it was posted had the timestamp “28” which is Ai Bo, another clue.
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“ driver number 85 is coming soon! “
1/19/2019, The same account officially shared that Yibo will be joining the MLT YAMAHA team for 2019 and Tracer 85 was born. Yibo also reposted this and replied with :
Happy New Year to all! ! ! ! ! racing career has begun! ! ! ! ☺️☺️☺️Please call me driver Wang Yibo! ! ! ! ~~~~~
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1/29/2019, the draft for Yibo’s Tracer 85 racing suit was released by the weibo account. It prominently features “85”.
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Now a key player in this whole designing mystery is DAINESE a company that describes themselves as: Dedicated to producing the most effective safety solutions in every arena where athletes continually push the human body and mind to surpass their prior achievements. From our motorcycle racing origins to alpine skiing, mountain biking, competitive sailing and outer space. So they posted about the racing suit itself as well as the helmet. Again, both things featured the 85 logo, along with other symbols that is an entirely different cpn on it’s own.
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It’s so obvious that a professional company will make this for WYB. Even if we CPN that the logo was made by XZ, or even a rough sketch of it and passed on to Yibo, down to this company’s team to refine. There is just no way that XZ will write his name down as the owner of it, if we didn’t have that BTS video of their conversation about it then we won’t have a confirmation. Even if we have that video, there is still the probability that XZ didn’t follow through.
Then someone asked the company itself about the origin of the logo and they said WYB brought it himself.
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The logo of No. 85 is not designed by us, it is brought by Yibo himself
Thank you for your support
If you look at the original post for the racing suit, the comments are all wf being so prissy about who designed it. I know that this post is supposedly about the 85 logo but the suit is a huge part of that. Also I think it’s about time to clear up the fact that cpfs are not trying to discredit anyone who made WYB’s gear. Why can’t we just be happy that he has a cool moto suit with the 85 on it? We are. We really are. It’s just that analyzing the elements within it is something that CPFs love to do. Not even for the relationship part of it but just to understand him better. The thing is, I don’t look at it and think only about how “handsome” yibo is. I also wanna know what it means. The details. This is something that represents him as a racer so I will naturally be curious about what’s on it. Not to say that so/os are shallow or anything, It’s just that we are two different kinds of fans. Our brains don’t work the same way. That’s fine. I wish people will one day accept that we all approach fandom in different ways. If you don’t like something— then ignore it.
So the conclusion here is, 85 was not an idea/logo made by the company DAINESE. Yes, they produced the gear and finalized everything. They were hired by YAMAHA to do so. However the one who drew that logo on a piece of paper is unknown.
Our best guess is Xiao Zhan. 🫶🏼
II. IMPORTANCE OF 85 TO YIBO
85 represents Yibo’s birthday, August 5. But it’s really became his “identity” when Tracer 85 was born. Even if he wasn’t racing, this number became a recurring theme & design with his endorsements. For example when he did a collab with Miniso, the goods had 85 on them.
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He has moved to the “Panther” more recently but 85 and 0805 is still very much a Yibo’s thing. There are even endorsements that have 85 on the price they sell his items for ( example is Richora ).
So using 85 is not a spur of the moment thing and goes beyond his racing career.
III. OTHER SIGHTINGS ( of the logo )
Aside from the race track, the most important way the logo was incorporated was through merchandise. Whether it’s the custom phone case that only Yibo has —
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or the infamous 85 cap which was repped by yinzheng. the sus part here is yibo commenting, only acknowledging the post but then yz had to reply back with : lemons grow on lemon trees, under the lemon tree there’s me. which means he is jealous and then yibo had to reply back with a series of emojis that makes things more suspicious.
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sure, yinzheng can mean that he is jealous of the merch. that yibo has his own now and that the whole tracer 85 now goes beyond being a racer. but the cpf explanation to this is that he is jealous that wyb has someone that made this amazing logo for him too. it's really so cool to have your own designer at home.
a fan favorite would be this cap, released by Day Day Up in their WYB goods line back in 2020. What’s interesting is, the number of pieces available for it’s initial presale was 1005. LOL. 1005 is October 5, of course, XZ’s birthday. I think the number of pieces for a presale though not entirely up to yibo, may still be influenced by him. It could easily be 8500 pieces just to be meta but no. Why 1005? Is it a nod to the guy who made the 85 design? Plus if this logo was owned by Yamaha or Dainese, then why was it allowed to be used commercial by a completely different entity. Our answer is that it’s Yibo.
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It’s curious that the cap received this special treatment, because out of all the merch sold in that line, it is the one that had the 85 logo in it’s original form. The rest had their own iteration of 85 but the cap is the closest to the “logo”. This is why a lot of fans, and CPFs specifically wanted to get it.
My favorite memory from when this line came out was the loud speculation about the logo and it’s connection to XZ. There were even talks of 🍤 buying something cause if XZ is the designer, then it’s also a XZ merch. This is the same year when 🍤 was going around SDC3 filming cause XZ was supposedly there. So yeah. This cannot be confirmed and no shrimp will ever admit but it was definitely a rumor going around that time. Looking back, that CPN was beneficial ( in a way ) to shrimps because it casts XZ in a good light. They know XZ’s capability so they can sort of agree to it. Not that we need so/o fans validating our opinions/speculations, but it’s a possible explanation to their reaction. Compared to motos who were angry with the association and insulted XZ. Implying that he isn’t capable, they can say that cause they don’t know XZ.
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IV. Connection to Xiao Zhan “the designer” and candies
Turtles pointing to XZ as the designer is not only rooted in CPN, but the fact that making logos was his previous job. Even before the leaked video, it made sense to the community because after all, this is what XZ is good at. He’d done it for years in school and as a professional. There were photos of his previous work that leaked and he also talked about logo-making when he visited the bilibili office. Where he shared how frustrating it was to work with clients. More recently, in one his vlogs, we could see him explaining his thoughts on a visual logo for XZ Studio.
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( video is about xz the designer, mostly talking about it during xfire / xnine days )
So his capability, closeness & familiarity with WYB at the time of the logo’s conception is key. CPFs are very familiar with how XZ makes art and logos for himself so to us it’s a rational speculation to think XZ had some influence on this.
There is another talk about Yuehua being the one who made it. They do have people who can make those right? However it was pointed out that with how they make logos for their other artists, it’s unlikely. They did claim the rights to the Panther, but the identity of the artist was left blank on the application. No one ever did claim ownership of this Logo or the Panther in public. Why wouldn’t they? It’s free promotion.
CPN Clues:
• 85 read as 28. Ai Bo + the Z.
• The Z is really my favorite clue 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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• How it looks very similar to the M skateboarding logo. Which can also look like a 85.
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• Some other explanation on what the 85 could mean. It’s XZ’s style to have hidden meanings aside from what you actually see.
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• The minimalist design that screams XZ.
The 85 logo talk and cpn have really been in full swing when EVISU released those photos and I hope BXGs ( especially big accounts on the bird app and beyond ) will rein it in with the Xiao Zhan association. We already know how hostile the environment is so it’s best to not use his full name. It’s actually a common CPF way of doing things, not using their full names in our posts. As excited as we all were, the whole point was that tracer 85 is back, not the CPN. I know it’s tricky to find a balance with how our brains are wired, but you will learn. It should always be them as individuals first.
85 logo and all other “designer GG” is one of those CPN that is very popular and widely circulated in the bxg community — and with good reason. However, it is in no way to take away 85 from Yibo. It’s him. It is his brand and it will always be his.
This is one in a couple of “yizhan mysteries” out there that keeps the BXG flame alive 🔥. These (alleged) silent collaboration/s between them are so great because it shows how well they work together as a team.
-END.
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nhlclover · 2 years ago
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the last time | arber xhekaj
summary: after arber leaves you for the second time you let him know he’s on his last strike.
request: yes / no
warnings: angst (w/ slight happy ending)
a/n: based on ‘the last time’ by taylor swift. i will take any excuse to write a taylor swift song fic. also i miss him :(
word count: 1.36k
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Again. It happened again. This was the second time I had watched Arber walk out of my life. The first was five months ago.
We had been together for six months. Six months I had dealt with his schedule and late nights out after games. Six months I loved him and admired his passion. And then he broke up with me, saying he needed space. It hurt. More than any breakup I had been a part of before. But I let him go. If he needed space then I would give it to him. Two months went by where I was miserable. I had missed my boyfriend and slept alone in a bed that had become accustomed to two. Then, he was back.
He was at my door, saying he wanted me back. He said it was a mistake and he was overwhelmed with his newfound fame from being in the NHL and a new relationship. I believed him. I took him back and was happy to do so. Three months passed by where we pretended like we had missed no time. No skipped anniversaries, no missed date nights. We were good for three months before we were sitting in my living room, Arber telling me this was a mistake.
“I thought I was ready but I wasn’t.” He said. He had a hurt look on his face, the same one he wore when he left me the first time. “It will only hurt us more if I stay. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore baby.”
Once again, I let him go. I was left miserable once again, seeing little remnants of his touch on my life everywhere I went. Anytime I saw the Montreal logo I thought of him and his passion for the game. Anytime I heard Morgan Wallen I remembered the time we danced on the balcony at 2 am to Somebody’s Problem. 
On what should’ve been our one-year anniversary, I sat alone in my room, my tv playing an episode of Hell’s Kitchen that was barely holding my attention. My eyes burned from the tears that came in with every new memory that passed through my head. The memories of the boy I still loved — because my feelings hadn’t yet diminished — ran through my head like a movie. First kiss, first date, the first time he told me he loved me and how quickly I said it back. The first time he got in a fight on the ice and the mixture of the sense of pride and fear that coursed through me. Every career milestone and how happy I was for him.
But with all the good memories, I remember the bad ones. I remember how alone I felt when he left the first time, then how utterly stupid I felt when he left me for the second time. I couldn’t go out with my friends for the fear of seeing him made my anxiety spike. I remember lying awake at night, wracking my brain for answers because, even though Arber explained why he ended things, it felt like I was missing something.
A knocking sound coming from the front of the house pulls me from my thoughts, sending a wave of fear through me. It was the dead of winter and the middle of a snowstorm at nearly 10 pm, who would be coming to my door? I got out of my bed and slowly walked to the front door. The knocking persisted, getting louder every few seconds. I grabbed the tennis racket that sat on the floor of the coat closet and slowly cracked open the door.
The sight of the person on the other side sent a different kind of fear through me. Arber stood on my front stoop, a bouquet of pink and white tulips in hand. I opened the door fully, the cold air from outside causing goosebumps to form on my exposed legs. 
Arber’s eyes are soft and delicate when he looks into mine which are bloodshot and lined with soaked eyelashes.
“Why are you here?” I ask even though I already know the answer. 
“I fucked up…” He croaks out. “I can’t stop thinking about you…here alone. I hate that I caused this.”
He motions to my face on which tears have once again begun streaking down. I wipe them away using the sleeves of my sweater which just so happened to have belonged to Arber. “Can I come in?” He asks me.
I’m tempted to turn him away. To tell him no. He’s hurt me more than once and if I let him in, I can’t be sure he won’t again. But the moment I saw his face, all our good moments clouded over the bad ones, and it’s like everything was better. My love for him overshadows any hurt he made me feel. How could I possibly turn him away when I love him this much?
I opened the door fully, letting him in, and shutting the door behind him. As he removed his coat, he glanced down at the tennis racket in my hand. Arber looked at me his eyebrows furrowed.
“Arber, you came to my house in the middle of a snowstorm at 10 pm.” I tell him, putting the racket back in the closet. “I wasn’t just going to answer the door unarmed.”
Arber walks into my home, finding his way to the kitchen. He goes into the cabinet where I keep my vases and takes the scissors from their place in the drawer to cut the stems. He still remembered where I kept everything.
There are a few moments of silence as I watch him cut the stems, placing each flower into the vase. He fills the vase with water, putting it on the counter in front of me.
“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I say softly.
“I know you like tulips.” He replied. I sigh, looking past the flowers at him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry baby.”
I avert my eyes feeling them begin to brim with tears. He comes around the counter, sitting on the barstool beside mine. “I know you’ve already given me a chance before and I blew it but… Please, y/n.”
“Why?” I ask him, looking at him with tears steadily falling from my eyes. “Why should I give you another chance, Arber? All you’ve done is prove you don’t deserve another one. I’ve given you a second chance and you wasted it.”
“I can’t tell you how much I’ve changed since, y/n.” He says. “I’ve grown as a person. I’ve found a way to deal with what it's like playing in the NHL and I know I can cope now. On top of that, I have never been as miserable as I am without you.”
I look at him, reading his expression carefully. His eyes scream nothing but sadness, the bags under his eyes telling much of the story. “How do I know you won’t leave me again?” I croak out.
“Baby, I can promise you I will never leave you again.” Arber says, cupping my cheek with his hand, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I understand if you need time to think about it.”
There are so many thoughts going through my head all at once. I weigh out the bad memories and the good ones. I find my mind overwhelmed with the good ones, the love I have for Arber completely swaying my decision.
“Okay.” I say.
“Okay?” Arber repeats. “You’ll take me back?”
Arber has a grin on his face, bigger than the one he had when I told him I loved him. I nod. He scoops me up from the chair, spinning me around. Arber sets me down but keeps me in his arms. 
“Thank you, y/n.” He mumbles into my neck.
I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close. The familiar scent of his cologne washed over me, comfort enveloping me. I lean back from Arber, looking up at him.
“This is the last time I’m letting you back in,” I tell him. 
“This is the last time I’ll ask.” He says.
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drsoulblast-official · 7 months ago
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The Fourth SoulBlast Newsletter is here!
What's new?
Our Team Members have recently been working on SoulBast's Intro Sequence (GONER_MAKER replacement) and its path chart, where each individual ending and choice has animations which are still being planned! How many choices/animations are there? Well...
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Here are the references (provided by Terra and Alternimo) showing what's next to come!
The Cosmic Starplaza Update is Here!
We decided to replace DELTARUNE: CHAPTERS REATOMIZED with a WIP Shift AU that has a couple Deltarune characters in original roles. It has some SwapSpin inspiration and some StoryShift inspiration, specifically the roles papyrus and sans are in. What does that mean? You'll have to wait and see!
Yes, the songs ARE back! Maybe!
The SoulBlast composers are cooking once more! This time for something with a much different tone to what is often teased here, but we hope that you still like it!
There isn't a thumbnail made yet, but it may be done alongside some other songs, which have a chance of coming out this month!
What's Terra been up to?
“It’s Terra again! I’m on vacation right now, but we’ve got a decent amount of content done. We’ve had a couple songs finished in the last week, and Alter and I have been planning out the SoulBlast opening sequence. I might not make it the first thing we do dialogue-wise as it’s super ambitious and big, although I had a really cool idea as of how to “realize it”. I don’t know if I’ll go forward with this idea, but who knows. That’s all I have to say for now, peace!”
What's Alternimo been up to, too?
“Hey, I’m back with another newsletter section! I’ve decided to do one every other week (mostly because of my current work pace, and also because Alter doesn’t necessarily entirely equal SoulBlast), but here we are again! As for what I’ve been up to…well, not a whole lot, to be blunt. I’ve been away on vacation after vacation, trip after trip…kinda doing some small work off and on, but nothing too crazy, and likely not until mid-June or so, when I get back from this big trip I’m on now. Not too much has been going on in the SP!Deltaswap (AKA CandlelitSeal (if you’re interested, DM me for more info!)) field, though I’ve been putting together a few last minute ideas and laying everything out for myself to track my progress. Preparing for some dialogue revisions too, alongside the designs for the rest of the main cast. SoulBlast-wise…not much either, though I’ve been helping out a bit with the intro sequence (which may or may not been teased somewhere in this newsletter) and some tiny logo tweaks. With that, though, I’ll quit my yapping, as there’s plenty of other (probably more important) content to be getting to.”
The SoulBast gets an update?
The SoulBlast Team has been working to improve the original logo! Here's what we've done so far, with different versions by Alternimo and SnowyBoi64
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(Minor Logo Rework by Alternimo, although some color things would still be changed)
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(Sprite Version by SnowyBoi64)
Speaking of SoulBlast Reworks...
The Character Guides are back, and are currently in a stage of early construction! Not much more is able to be said unfortunately, but we'll get updates to you whenever possible!
The SoulBlast Team has a New Member!
"Heya! I'm the I Man, and I recently joined the SB/NM team. I do some spritework, background music and maybe a bit of writing, if I'm feeling particularly wild. I've made a few works over the years and I have a few AUs of my own, (including two whole Underswap takes), but I figured I'd join this project because it seemed interesting (I was right). Anyways, I can only hope I live up to the expectations set for me, and I hope to see you in the future."
That's all!
Go check out our stuff below! The next newsletter will be posted in 2 weeks (since it’s biweekly)
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@soulblastau5574?si=fuh6MJy1Hgd4FVaT
SoundCloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/UVadRL6CSVdqxkRv9
Discord: https://discord.gg/3bAtNkxH2P
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bexreadstoomuch · 2 years ago
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Magic Man - Chapter 11
After Winning your local Battle of The Bands competition, you don’t realise it’s your old school crush’s band that’ll you’ll be supporting for the next 4 months. Can you put the past behind you and forgive?
It's time for the new years eve party, buckle in - let go have some fun!
NSFW — slow burn, fluff, flirting, reader has weight/image issues light angst, 18+ overall for eventual smut, drug/alcohol mention/use/language, angst, smut, fingering, confessions of attraction, EddiemunsonxReaderHenderson
A/N - So it says eventual smut, and the smut has arrived, it's only slight here, warning are above. This chapter also contains one of my favourite Scorpions songs - Still Loving You! I hope you enjoy
Masterlist Part 11/? [wc 6.1k] a/n - please please like, share and comment, your comments make me so happy and encourage me to write more! thank you <3
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11 - Still Loving You
Sitting at the window of your motel room, you watch the snow slowly falling covering the parking lot out front in a blanket of crisp white snow.
Arriving early couldn't have been timed more perfectly, as you were expecting a large cold front and even the possibility of a blizzard here in Nebraska.
Looking across at the venue across the street, your face is illuminated by the blue neon sign of the motel, hiding the blush that was rising in your cheeks at the memory of Eddie's hands on you only a few hours earlier.
“please promise me, I'll see you tonight after the show for the party? So we can speak some more?” his words echoed in your head. Of course you’d see him, you were not going to miss out on this. 
Of course you were still worried that he wasn’t being fully truthful but you had promised Dustin you would give Eddie a chance.
“Listen y/n, Eddie was in bits after that night, kept asking me why you weren’t around anymore, I’d never seen him like that before” Dustin had explained to you back at christmas in the garage.
 “He kept asking about you every single day, I never even saw him get mad, he just went quiet after a while. Once he finally graduated, he packed up his stuff and moved out of Hawkins. I didn't know where he was going, but I heard a rumour he’d gone to California, I don't know maybe in hopes to find you”
The show had gone amazingly, you kept seeing Eddie on the side of the stage watching you closely with a smile plastered on his face, watching his eyes roaming over your body. When you'd notice him doing this you would bluff a few notes, causing him to stifle a laugh and mouth “sorry” in your direction.
Laughing to yourself you get up from your position in the window making your way to the shared bathroom to grab a shower. Upon returning to the room, Lula comes bounding in with a large bag with a logo you don't recognise. 
“OK don't get mad, but we got you something for tonight” Lula places the bag on the bed between them, tipping it upside down letting the contents cascade all over the bed.
Your eyes went wide at the sight. All you could see was a sea of black. Black Leather and cloth, and the glint of silver.
“What is all this?” you look up at your friend confused.
“So Gareth may have spilled the beans to me about what happened at thanksgiving and tonight with Eddie - please don't get mad” Lula throws her hands in the air seeing the shocked look on your face.
“So with that in mind, I was saving this for your birthday, but I thought tonight would be better,” Lula explains, picking up a few pieces to flatten them out.
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing and seeing.
“Lula, im, WOW, i mean look at these, they are beautiful but i'll look ridiculous in this” you say holding up the leather jacket which you now see is encrusted with small silver diamontes.
“Now remember what we told you before we left for this tour? No self doubting y/n, you are gorgeous and beautiful inside and out and we are gonna to show Eddie what he's been missing all these years,” Lula had made her way around to you, hands on your shoulders looking you dead in the eye. “You got this?” She may be small but she can be intimidating when she wants to be.
“Yes, YES, ok let's do this” you beam back at her. “Where's Jack anyway?” you ask 
“I don't know, she said she had some stuff to do after the show but would see us later back at the venue for the party”
Jack had been disappearing more so recently after shows, coming back to the bus in the early hours. She didn't think you’d both noticed but you had. You know not to question her about it. Like when she came out to you both it was on her terms, she told you when she was ready. And that's the rules you've taken ever since, Jack will tell you something when she is ready.
After about an hour or so of Lula backcombing your hair, applying more mousse and hairspray to your head, that it would even make Harrington jealous, you were starting to get really nervous, and she could see it. 
Squeezing your shoulder from behind you Lula gives a small smile and nod. That's the great thing about true friendships, you don't need to say much, and they will know what you need.
After applying your makeup it was time for your outfit. 
Lula had hung it up ready for you in the bathroom to get changed into while she finished off her own makeup.
Closing the bathroom door behind you you looked at the outfit hanging there and your body was awash with self doubt.
Thought came flooding into your mind of all the things that could go wrong. The pants wouldn't do up, even worse they would split.
You thought back to what Lula had said “we are going to show Eddie what he's been missing all these years”
Taking a deep breath you set upon getting dressed, trying your best to get those negative thoughts out of your head. 
This isn't just for Eddie this is also for you! You deserve this!
“LULA WHAT THE FUCK?” you shouted pulling the bathroom door open brandishing the bag in front of you.
“Oh yeah that, well you never know” lula trailed off raising her eyebrows up and you going back to the mirror to do her makeup.
“How do you know it’ll fit?” you ask annoyingly.
“Don't worry we know your sizes and made sure it would - you'll look amazing”
You shook your head at your friend making your way back into the bathroom, to examine the bag again. Inside were a set of black lace and ribbon bras and panties.
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Putting it against your body you wouldn't believe you were going to do it, but you promised her.
Once your outfit was on, you couldn't stop moving your hands up and down your thighs, across your stomach, all the areas you hated. 
Taking a deep breath you make your way out of the bathroom, your new heeled boots clacking across the tiled floor.
“OMG Y/N you look amazing! He's gonna die!”
Looking at yourself in the full size mirror you start to feel a sense of power come across you. The outfit made you feel powerful, like you could take on the world.
You take in the leather trousers which are encrusted with stars made up of diamantes which matched the leather jacket which covered your torso which was in a tight black Harley Davidson tee, with a double buckled belt.
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Lula had retired her plaid and vans for the evening and opted for a short little black dress, fishnet tights and borrowed your dr martens boots.
“Lula, aren't you going to be cold when it's snowing?” you express your concern looking at her outfit.
“Oh I'm not worried, hopefully someone can warm me up later” she giggled.
“Oh you are gross!” you laugh back at her. She had expressed that her and Gareth haven't gone all the way yet and she was hoping tonight could be the night. Looking like she did, I'm sure it’d be hard for him to say no.
Making your way over to the venue to get more and more nervous, walking a few steps behind Lula trying to take as much time as you could. Maybe thinking that if you walked slow enough you wouldn't have to go.
“Y/N, come on whats up?” Lula calls over her shoulder, noticing you behind her.
“What if it happens again?” you say in an almost whisper, “what if it's like halloween again? I mean look at me!” your hands gesturing across your body.
“Honey, it’ll all be ok, Eddie wants you to be there, he’ll be next to you, and if he doesn't he’ll have me to answer to ok?” She tries to reassure you, but you cannot push the daunting feeling away.
You nod slightly taking in what she was saying, you trusted her. It was everyone else you didn't.
Walking back into the venue, you see the room now transformed ready for the new year. Slivers of multicoloured foils hanging from the ceiling, lights flashing between different colours and the music so loud you could feel it vibrating in your feet.
Looking around you recognise a few people from Wyatts team back in California, over at the bar, he waves over to you both to join him, Jack already in conversation with him.
“Hello Ladies, you both look wonderful” Wyatt gushes, tipping his hat to the both of you.
“As do you Wyatt” Lula comments 
“So ladies, I wanted to have a quick chat with you before the party gets into full swing. I've been chatting with the boys and they are in agreement with me. This tour so far has been a triumph and once it's over, me and the team would love to sign you to add to our label, join the team! What do you say?” 
You all must have had the same look on your face as Wyatt quickly says “no need to rush to a decision now, but let me know as soon as you can ok?”
You all nod, watching Waytt turn and walk away back to the rest of his team.
“Oh my god what just happened?” you say exasperated grabbing both the girls arms.  
“I think we did it, we finally did it” Jack quickly responds.
“What do we do?” Lula asks, looking at you with a worried look.
“We say yes right?” you answer.
You're all looking between each other and slowly all nod in agreement.
No more words were needed between you all, this was it, you made it. Your only concern was you'd be on the same label as Eddie, no doubt working together, was this such a good idea?
You must have willed him into existence thinking of him, because as you turned around so your back was against the edge of the bar, he walked in the rest of the band in tow.
Tight black jeans, chains, black boots and a black sequined shirt, ludicrously open very low exposing his chest tattoos, with a chain dangling around his neck which you noticed had a pick attached. You wonder if this is the same one from high school he always had on.
You notice him scanning the room as though looking for someone, and as soon as your eyes meet, you notice him let out a breath, looking up and down at your body, raising his eyebrows in awe. This alone was making your cheeks heat up. 
He looks flawless, and there was that knot in your stomach again, making you shift your weight from side to side.
Your heart sank as you saw the band disperse but Kelly appeared next to him in a tight corset style black top with a long skirt attached, a large split going up one side. He must have noticed this in your face as he leaned over to Kelly whispering something to her, which must have not been good as she had a face of thunder as she stormed off.
Eddie looked back over to you with a look on his face as thought he was apologising on her behalf. Making his way over towards you, you were feeling hotter with every step he took.
“Hey sweetheart, you look, just wow, you look amazing” Eddie extends a hand out to you which you slowly take letting him spin you around so he can look at the rest of the outfit.
“Where have you been hiding this?” he asks you, his voice seemingly deeper than usual.
“Lula got it for me, early birthday present” you quickly respond looking down trying to hide your embarrassment.
Eddie's hand suddenly whips up, taking your chin with his thumb and pointer figure, tilting your head to look at me.
“No need to be shy sweetheart, you look beautfiul”
His words made your heart hurt, you always thought people were saying things like this just to make you feel better but never meant it. This must have been showing on your face, giving you away as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek giving it a gentle rub with his thumb, leaning in close to your ear.
“I mean it y/n - i've always thought you were beautiful” Eddie's voice was soft and full of sincerity.
Your breath hitched in your chest when he said this. Taken aback by his honesty, you blurted out “I always thought you were too”
Eddie let out a little chuckle moving his hands to your waist guiding you towards the bar. “Ladies, how about you?” he asked Jack and Lula. You had completely forgotten they were still standing next to you, completely lost in Eddie.
“Thanks Eddie but were ok, i'm going to go find Gareth” Lula tells you both, making her way past you, whispering to you as she past “It’ll be ok y/n, you got this, don't forget he's got me to answer to if he hurts you again”
You give her a nod as you watch her glide across the room straight into Gareth's waiting arms, placing herself in his lap, on some of the leather chairs that were dotted around the room.
“You want shots again, or are you going to take it slow this time?” Eddie is asking you as you watch your friend leave, and noticing Jack was now missing too.
“Oh sorry” you quickly turn back around facing him “No, ermm, can i have a cranberry and vodka please?”
Eddie learns over the bar and orders your drinks. You feel awkward standing there. You feel like everyone is looking at you. Judging you. Talking about you.
“Y/n? You ok?” Eddie's voice from behind you makes you jump back to reality, standing there with a beer in one hand and your drink in the other.
“Shall we sit?” He tilts his head over to an empty booth area of seats.
Nodding you follow him to the secluded area and sit down opposite him, hands clasped tightly around your glass, knuckles almost going white.
Looking up you see Eddie's hand also tight around the bottle he was holding.
“I'm glad you came tonight” he says breaking the silence between you “I should of done this a long time ago”
“I spoke to Dustin over Christmas, he saw the letter you gave me and explained things to me, but I don't know what to believe. I was a mess that night, I felt so hurt, I felt small, I felt foolish. Foolish for thinking someone like you would like someone like me.” you thought if you never said it now you never would, taking a large gulp of your drink feeling the alcohol burn down your throat.
Leaning forward in the booth taking a drink from his beer Eddie have a defeating sigh “I thought you wouldn’t want to been seen with someone like me - like I said this afternoon I was an idiot teenager who didn’t know any better”
He reached a hand over the table between you reaching for one of your hands. You looked down at his heavily ringed open hand for a moment debating whether to take it or not.
You slowly extend your towards him, allowing him to encase his large hand around yours.
“Eddie, why did you react the way you did when you first saw us back in California?” You asked him with worry. You had been wondering this for sometime, not really wanting to know the answer.
“Oh that, well, I really don’t know” Eddie's grip on your hand becomes tighter and he searches for an answer lowering his head as though ashamed 
“I regret how I acted, I was a complete fool, you no doubt thought I was being some pompous rock star” he laughed the last few works trying to lighten the moment
“But I think it was the shock of seeing you after so long, you looked breathtaking standing there and I was afraid I was mess things up again”
You watched him try and explain himself, watched his eyes searching your face for forgiveness. Lowing your eyes you watch him adam’s apple bob in his throat and he swallows trying to find the words.
You didn’t say anything, just looked back at him moving your free hand to cover his that’s encased around your other hand.
“I’ll be right back” Eddie says as he moves out of the booth making his way over to the DJ booth. You watch him point to something behind the man and have a quick conversation and nodding between them both. 
Watching him make his way back over to your booth you see the man behind the desk place a record on the deck moving the needle carefully into place.
You instantly recognise the first chords of the song now playing over the speakers. It was the song Eddie was playing this afternoon when you saw him playing alone.
Scorpions - Still Loving You 
“Will you dance with me?” Eddie's voice is low as he extends a hand out waiting for you to accept it.
Taking a moment to consider your options you throw caution to the wind, shifting out of your jacket leaving it in the booth you stand taking Eddie's hand in yours letting him lead you to the dance floor.
Pulling you tightly towards him he placed both hands on your hips giving you no choice but to place your arms around his neck under his hair.
He let out a little noise from the bottom of his throat at the feeling of your hands on the back of his neck.
“How did you know?” You asked him looking up at him as he swayed with you to the music 
“Know what?” He looks down at you with a small crooked smile.
“This song, it’s my favourite, you were playing it this afternoon weren’t you?” You replied, questioning him.
“Ah well that would be telling, but I have my ways of finding things out” he learned forward pressing his forehead against yours.
The knot in your stomach was growing tighter, you felt like you had hundreds of eyes on you. You thought you could hear people talking about you.
Suddenly you felt the room was spinning, you felt your breathing get rapid, you were starting to panic, eyes darting around the room. 
You felt something on your face, snapping you back into reality you could see Eddie's face still in front of you, one hand still on your hip the other on your face.
“It’s ok y/n it’s ok, you're worrying again aren't you? Just breathe it’s all ok, I’m here I’m not going anywhere” His voice was calming, and soothing. You felt yourself settling again. 
“Eddie I feel such a fool” you lean your head into his chest fitting perfectly under his chin, which he rested on your head.
He didn’t say anything, just held you tight while still moving with the music.
He lifted your head of face him, wrapping his arms tightly around you, leaned into the side of your head and sang long with the song to you,
“If we'd go again, All the way from the start, I would try to change,Things that killed our love. Yes, I've hurt your pride, And I know what you've been through, You should give me a chance, This can't be the end, I’m still loving you”
For a split moment you meet his large brown eyes seeing them full of all the emotions he was trying to express. the knot in your stomach had gone, you felt calm and in control.
Wrapping your arms quickly around his neck again you pulled him down to you crashing your lips together in a hungry kiss.
No one else mattered but you both. You felt like you were the only people in that room for a moment. It was peaceful. Eddie responds with the same hunger, grazing his tongue over your bottom lip asking for access. The kiss was more intense than the one you shared this afternoon, both of you fighting for dominance over the other.
Breaking away from the kiss for only a moment you stared intently at each  other.
“I meant what I said this afternoon, I’m so sorry about what happened, but please let me show you how sorry I am” The tip of Eddie’s nose touches yours as he brings his face in closer again to capture your lips.
Letting your guard down you let out a small moan escape your mouth as he kissed you with more ferocity.
His hands moved from waist down to hips letting his thumbs graze your sides. You could feel his fingers slipping underneath your tee so his fingers could trace your skin.
The song was coming to an end, but you didn't want this to end. Eddie's hands still on your sides he pulls you closer, bringing your hips close against him.
He moves a hand up to tuck some of your hair behind your ear and whisper “follow me”
Your feet had a mind of its own to follow Eddie's command willingly. Passing the guests in the party you see a few faces looking at you with confusion, whispering to the person next to them. Your stomach sinks, and you abruptly stop, your arm stretching out, as Eddie still had hold of it.
Looking around he looks at your concern, slowly making his way abc to you.
“Are you ok doll?” His voice was full of concern.
“Everyone is staring Eds” you answer so quietly it was barely a whisper.
“It's ok, look at me” Eddie's hands are now on your shoulder, turning to face him. “Focus on me ok? Let's get out of here, get some air?”
You quickly nod your head and you allow him again to lead you out of the venue. 
To your surprise you're standing outside beside Bertha. Eddies reach into his pocket and bring out a key unlocking the door.
“How do you have a key for Bertha?” you ask
“Bertha?” his head spins around looking at you amused.
“Yeah she's called Bertha, we thought it was a good name, she's sturdy, albeit a little unreliable” 
Eddie just chuckles at this explanation going back to opening the bus doors.
“Lula gave me a spare key at the bar before just incase” he explains walking up the bus steps pulling you with him.
You’ll be having words with Lula later about that. Everyone seems to be talking about the pair of you, except to you.
“It's nice in here, homely” Eddie remarks looking around, touching the wooden panels on the walls and making his way to the bunks at the back, sitting down on the bottom.
“Yeah Lulas folks helped us set it all up, they're great” you say as you kick off your boots into the corner and grab your blanket wrapping it around you sitting next to him on the edge of the bed.
“Y/n?” Eddie's voice is quiet, his hands move back to your face, bringing it to meet his.
You could barely respond to him as he crashed his lips into yours again. You felt his tongue graze your bottom lip asking for entrance again and you oblige.
Your hands moved from their position in your lap wrapped in your blanket to rest on his jean clad thigh. Feeling your hand on him he pulled away from the kiss leaving you wanting more. He slowly moves so he's facing you ducking slightly so he doesnt hit his head on the bunk above. You move yourself from the edge of the bed moving in further as to give him more room next to you. Seeing what you were doing he dove across so he was now positioned above you.
“Is this ok?” he asks tenderly, looking at you for reassurance.
“Yes” you whisper to him, leaving all inhibitions behind you, reaching up, grabbing him around his neck, pulling him into you to kiss him once more. 
Your both breathless moans, and messy wet heated kisses. He moves his lips from yours, moving his way to your neck, leaving hot kisses in places you didn't know could make you feel this good.
His hands started to roam your body, tracing down your arms and you tense up when he reaches your stomach. Feeling you he stops looking up at you.
“Are you ok y/n? I don't want us to do anything that you're uncomfortable with, we can stop and I can just walk away” Eddies says, looking at you reassuringly.
“No, no please dont stop, its just….. just , oh god, now I feel stupid” you shuffle form underneath him bring your knees up to your chest, hugging your arms around them.
“Sweetheart, I know what you're gonna say, and please, don't worry. I think you're beautiful and I want to show you how beautiful you are, will you let me?” Eddie inches back towards you, placing his ring clad hands on yours.
“You're not just saying that? You mean it? I've had people say these things to me, just because they can then brag they've been with a Fat girl, and, and” your starting to feel your body shake as tears start to form in your eyes. 
Eddie's hand flew up to catch the tear before it fell, wiping it away.
“Please sweetheart, I'm not that type of person. I see you for you, nothing else. Like I said before, I see before me a beautiful, talented woman. A woman who can belt out a song like I've never heard before. You have no idea how long I've dreamt of kissing you, feeling you in my arms, holding you, I was an idiot in school, I wish I had told you sooner, helped protect you from those who would hurt you, will you let me?” You had waited for Eddie to say something like this to you all those years ago.
Unfolding your arms from your legs, you crawl your way closer to him. Leaning in to the side of his face you whisper in his ear “show me, please”
Without another word Eddie dove at you, pinning you beneath him to  continue the assault on your neck. Hands roaming down your sides squeezing your hips making his way down grazing your thighs. His kisses become more heated on your neck, biting down slightly, making you moan at this touch.
His hands tugging at the bottom of your shirt, he makes his way under grazing his hands up your torso, the coldness of his rings causing goosebumps to form. He grazes the underside of your bra feeling the lace under his fingers. 
“What's this?” he comments breathlessly from his position in your neck.
“Another gift from Lula, she said to me ‘you’ll never know’” you stifle a giggle.
“Can I see?” you nod as you lift your frame helping him raise the tee above your head revealing your ribbon and lace bra, your breasts heaving over the top threatening to spill.
“Oh my god doll, you're gorgeous” Eddie's mouth moves quickly from your neck to lick across the peaks of your breasts making you involuntarily hitch your hips up. Feeling this you feel him smirk upon your skin and move himself so he is positioned between your legs.
“If you want me to stop, you need to tell me ok? Do you know the traffic light code?” he asks you quickly, face flush, hair wild. 
You nod, which he raised his eyebrows at.
“Don't forget, green is carry on, amber is slow down and red is stop ok?” he makes sure you remember, you nod again.
“I need you to use your words sweetheart” 
“Yes, Eddie” you reply, raising your hips towards him again to reiterate your answer.
“Good girl” his voice was an almost growl as he dove back towards your chest, nipping and sucking at your skin causing you to throw your head back letting out a small moan.
Eddie would continue to ask you if it was ok for everything you did and you answered promptly gaining more praise from him.
Hands roaming each other, you reach down to the buttons on his shirt, opening them up and pushing the shirt off his shoulders.
Your hands stoke down his chest to one of his pierced nipples, asking him “when did you get these?” 
“When I left Hawkins for California, you like them?” his answer muffled from between your breasts.
“Yeah I do, a lot” your fingers grazing over the bar, causing Eddie to let out a guttural moan, the feeling vibrating through you.
Moving his hand down lower to feel him undoing the buttons on your leather trousers, asking for entry. “This ok?” he asks.
“Green, please Eddie” you reply breathlessly looking down at his position now between your legs.
Eddie's hand pulls down the zip and gestures for you to lift your hips to help him pull down your leather pants.
“Oh wow, I'm gonna have to thank Lula when I see her next” he says, kissing his way across your inner thighs.
Before you could respond you feel him tracing his fingers across the frilly edge of your panties, continuing to kiss closer to your warm core making you squirm.
“Oh doll, keep still, you have no idea how long i've dreamt of this” Eddies voice is full of want
“Me to Eds, please… don't stop” you encourage him by tracing your arms up and down his bare arms.
“Don't forget, traffic lights” With that you feel eddies fingers move to rest above your clothed heat finding your small wanting bud beneath, rubbing slowly in small circles. This action caused you to cry out a small moan. 
“Eddie please dont stop” you reached for his free hand beside you bringing it to your covered breasts helping him manoeuvre the fabric down exposing yourself to him.
“My god y/n your so beautiful” Eddie moans as his hand massages your large breast tracing over your nipples making you gasp.
His other hand doesn’t slow down rubbing tighter circles on your now swollen bud.
“You have no idea what you're doing to me doll, can I feel you?” Eddie looks up at you from under hooded eyes.
“Yes, yes please” your stutter your words out to him 
“So polite for me” Eddie grins up at you as he moves his hand under the waistline of your black lace panties moving lover to your folds. Moving his body back up your body you feel his cold rings against your hot skin sending a jolting sensation up your body.
Eddie places kisses against your skin making his way to your now heaving breasts quickly taking your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, as he pushes his fingers through your warm folds at the same time.
“You're so wet for me sweetheart, let me look after you, like you deserve” Eddie's voice was a low growl full of lust. 
Your head feeling all fuzzy from the sensations you were feeling just nodded, making Eddie stop.
“Your words doll, don’t forget” 
“Yes Eddie, please I want you too, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time too, please” you hurriedly said, thrusting your hips up into his waiting hand.
“Good girl, my good girl” Eddie growled as he continued his cruel pace on your swollen bud. 
His girl. His words sent your head spinning, lifting your hips to match his movements, wanting more. You could feel a coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every move he made.
Stopping suddenly, Eddie makes his way up your body capturing your lips with his, reaching for the straps of your bra to manoeuvre it down completely. He looks at you with a silent question, eyebrows raised.
“Green, please green” your voice breathless.
Eddie is quick to remove your bra completely, moving his lips down to capture your nipples in his mouth sucking and licking, making you make noises you never knew you could.
Your hands move around his neck pulling at the nape of his neck letting him know you want more, pulling him toward your face. Moving a hand back down to your soaked panties he pushes them to the side tracing a finger up and down you, causing you to mewl.
“Can I feel you? I want to feel you wrapped around my fingers” Eddie asks seductively, not leaving your gaze.
“Yes, please I want to feel you, I want to come around your fingers Eddie please” you are practically pleading him at this point.
This was all the encouragement he needed, slowly pushing a digit inside of you causing you to moan loudly, pressing your forehead against Eddies, rutting your hips upwards matching this pace.
Dragging his finger slowly in and out of you, teasing you was torture, you wanted more. He must be reading your mind as he inserted another digit, slightly curling upwards hitting the spongy spot deep inside, manoeuvring his thumb to rubbing your clit quite vigorously.
You shut your eyes tight leaning your head back at the feeling of him pumping his fingers in and out of you, the coil was starting to get tighter in your lower stomach and Eddie could tell.
“Are you close y/n?” Eddie asks as he feels you getting tighter around his fingers, the moans and whimpers coming from your mouth encouraging him in speeding his pace up a little, making your legs start to shake.
“Y.. ye…yes” you could barely speak, concentrating on the feeling in your lower stomach thinking you might explode. No one had ever made you feel like this before.
Eddie learns down capturing your lips in an open mouthed kiss, tongue fighting for possession once more. Moaning into the kiss you try to find your words.
“Eddie please, i'm gonna come” you were now panting holding onto his shoulders tightly.
“Let go sweetheart, come for me” Eddie's tone was desperate, encouraging you.
With that, you could see stars behind your eyes as you came with so much ferocity, your legs were trembling, making Eddie grab one with his free hand stroking your leg to calm your muscles down. Pressing his forehead against your you open your eyes to meet his large chocolate brown ones. A smile spread across his face, one which you shyly returned.
As he pulls his fingers out of your aching centre, you sigh at the empty feeling, clenching around nothing.
Sitting up to reposition himself next to you he suddenly hits the top of his head on the bunk above.
“Jesus H CHRIST!” his curses rubbing his head with his hand, squeezing his eyes closed tight at the sudden pain.
“Eds you ok?” you sit up moving close to him, taking his face in your hands checking him over.
“Yeah, yeah I'll be good” he chuckles look back at you.
“That was err, that was amazing y/n, are you ok?” he's looking at you with concern on his face.
“Yes Eddie im more than ok, i just never thought we would do anything like this” you now sitting pulling the blanket back around you feeling exposed sitting there in just your now ruined panties.
“Well I hope we can do this again and maybe more?” he asks shly rubbing the back of his neck.
“I'd like that yeah”  you learn forward giving him a soft kiss on his soft lips.
“We should get back to the party, people will wonder where we’ve gone '' Eddie gets up, reaching out a hand to help you up, passing you your clothes.
“Eddie, can I ask you a favour? Can we not tell anyone what happened here? Maybe keep this quiet for a bit? I don't want to rush things too much” You felt foolish saying this considering only a few moments ago he had given you the best orgasam you've ever had.
“Of course doll, anything you need, just as long as I can kiss you at midnight?” wrapping his large arms around you pulling you close you giggled nodding at this request, leaning into his warm chest.
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A/N - We finally got there, BUT how's Y/N gonna feel? Hope you enjoyed
tag list - @corrodedcoffincumslut @themrsmunson @emmalee-01  @bohemianrhapsody86 @jennk182
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ghostwav64 · 1 year ago
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I’ll always share my Spotify wrapped because I think it’s neat as hell to see what everyone listened to this year. I didn’t get L to the OG to the top like I wanted, my commitment to the bit waned unfortunately.
2023 my music listening habits were very different than they normally are, I spent less time keeping up with new releases and wayyy more time exploring artists and genres that I previously hadn’t really listened to.
That being said there were still a few projects from this year that I really loved that I figured I’d take the time to write a little about now.
5. Actual Life 3 Piano EP (January 1-September 9,2022)- Fred again..
Really inspiring EP for me, it’s a quiet reflective audio journal featuring some ambient sounds, some really cool samples, and some pretty piano playing throughout it’s a lot more lowkey than his album last year but I really enjoy that.
Favorite track: Nathan (Varner Road)
4. Quaranta by Danny Brown.
While I really enjoyed Danny’s work with JPEGMafia this year, I ultimately prefer this solo release from him this year. It’s a follow up to his album XXX, on that album Danny was a 30 year old struggling to make it as a rapper, now a decade later he’s obtained the success he once wanted so badly and he finds himself reflecting on where he was and where he is now. While financially Danny is better off than he was a decade ago,mentally he is still hurting and struggling as much as he was then. It’s a raw and vulnerable album with some excellent production throughout and some of the best verses of Danny’s career in my opinion.
Favorite Track: Down Wit It
3. Census Designated by Jane Remover
On Census Designated Jane Remover moves away from the hyperpop and digicore influences of her last album and leans more into rock and shoegaze, although there a certainly still a ton of fun little glitchy and stuttering effects throughout. If you like Ethel Cain I’d highly recommend this album.
Favorite Track: Cage Girl/ Camgirl
2. Wallsocket by underscores
A really wonderful pop rock concept album filled to the brim with infectious hooks, creative sampling and a lot of fun vocal manipulation throughout. There are no skips on this thing, every song is bursting with this really great creative energy. There are only few songs that I fell in love with this year more than You don’t know who I am.
Favorite track: You don’t know who I am.
1. 10,000 gecs by 100 gecs
The second I hit play on this album and I heard the THX logo sound followed by gunshots and the sick main riff on Dumbest Girl Alive, I knew this was going to be my favorite album of the year.
Here the gecs expand on their sound from the first album, refining it and fine tuning it, while still maintaining the playful energy that made the first album so exciting. Every song on the album has at least one or two lines that have permanently burrowed their way into my brain like the best ear worms do.
This album really flexes the duos skills at genre blending as they take from nu-metal, rap, pop, rock and ska and fuse them all into this wild album. It’s an unpredictable and fun listen one second they’ll be singing about struggling to make it in Hollywood, and little later you’ll get a song about having a tooth removed.
There’s a playful rebelliousness to all of their songs that I just can’t get enough of.
Favorite track: Dumbest Girl Alive (duh it’s my most listened to song this year) but I also wanna shoutout Most Wanted Person in The United States, that song fucking rules.
What’d you like this year?
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allblackeverything888 · 6 months ago
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🌞♌🌖♈
hello!
youtube
im listening to this Joe Dispenza audio clip mix about meditation. i believe i’m being led to meditate again.
i’ve also been thinking about Christ (and the Buddha, and Mohammed) as living Logos. and interacting with this idea of divinity as Logos that i can achieve myself by communing daily with it. i can try that thru mediation. im going to do more research on the Logos. anyway.
this is leading me to think about Kaotika content and how i need it to be easier so that i can focus my energy on writing and researching and learning! so i’ve begun following these accounts that just post occult pictures and then put quotes from occult books in the caption. that seems easy enough since i’m reading A LOT of different occult and esoteric books, and i have a fascination with darker imagery right now. so i think i will follow that thread and begin doing that on Twitter, Threads & Instagram for Kaotika. so that i can focus on writing.
In other news, I am asking Logos for help with focus and putting myself out there. I have so many good ideas and don’t have a problem starting them, but because i still don’t have a strong sense of myself yet, I get discouraged or confused-seeming about whether or not a certain idea is the “right” one and I quickly lose momentum. so i’m asking for focus—that i can stick to the things im interested now, knowing that consistent action in a direction will eventually lead me to what i desire, even if the things i engage in now aren’t “perfectly correct” or “exactly right.” i’m also asking for help putting myself out there, as i have a Capricorn stellium in my 10H and i know that it is in my destiny (NN and MC are there, among other placements) to build a business and be seen in the public for my career.
it hurts to have to start over and to have spent so much time floundering in static pain because i was never taught how to deal with emotions. i didn’t even know emotions were okay to have. i thought i was going to die if i let my emotions flow. it’s been a journey with generational trauma just to get to the point of “zero”
but the zero point is a beautiful point, i’m realizing, and this is why i’ve begun working on a book about it. i have so much to learn, and i have so much growth to do. every day feels like a punch in the face when i can’t accept that this is where i am: 32 (turning 33 in less than a month), with zero friends, zero support system, thousands in debt, low self-esteem &mostly a stranger to myself (i.e. i don’t really know what brings me true joy, or what i really love or am passionate about), &living at a homeless shelter.
it’s difficult, but im still here. and in comparison to how i was feeling about myself before, hopelessly unaware of just how self-neglectful and passively suicidal i was…i think i’m doing great. i’ve made progress even if it doesn’t seem like it. like i said: i feel as though before this point, i was in a NEGATIVE trajectory, and i have been able to turn that around and feel as though right now i am in a beautiful (&painful) zero point. where i will eventually be able to surpass this and reach great positive heights, the downward spiral was necessary. i had to see myself there, because that is what my generational trauma gave me. i am not going to make the same choices and mistakes as my family before me. i refuse to live in survival mode my entire life, to never have emotional intelligence, to hide behind addictions, clinging to harmful political rhetoric &dogmatic religious beliefs, to acting holier than thou, to settling for a life that i hate because i’m unwilling to confront the deep seated fear and pain in order to heal from the past. i can’t live like them.
the darkness felt like it would consume me, and in a sense, it did. but what they don’t tell you about darkness is that often times, YOU are the light. and i found myself there and faced my inner golem &the ring of power, if you will, &we are returning to zero, now. truly starting over &giving myself the freedom to dream new dreams.
i may be alone now, but this is building a strength and a love within me that no one can take away.
oh before i go, i have to say: i was of two minds about trying to actually begin to DO magick, and i let myself fall off w doing the LBRP daily. well, i’ve decided that no, i do seem to be passionate about magick and the occult, and i’d like to take it further and actually build my own practice. and my inner guide keeps pointing to the LBRP. there was a beautiful one page outline of it in a book on the Kabbalah that i found, so i started doing it again last night and plan to continue. that, and meditation every morning and night seems to be the “medicine” my holy daimon has delivered to me, just in time.
goodbye for now!
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poisonhemloc · 2 years ago
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Time to spruce up some characters with the new tables, then
I posted Fork already, but honestly I was having fun with the character creation and both randomly generated and specifically built (joke) characters. I have actual (if limited) thoughts on the process and not just something character specific under everything.
...Also, due to sister @robezpierre​’s character also being given the short name ‘Fork,’ if I used a different short name, I got the suggestion of ‘too wordy, you should do something simple, like Fork’ and since it was the person who’s probably going to run the game when we play, I listened to him.
First, three randomly generated characters.
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All That The Power Does, Is It Points At That Electrical Outlet, And Says It’s All Yours, And Hands You A Metal Fork (Short: Fork)(Name from a chunk of original writing I’m not otherwise using)
Ethos 7- sensible
Pathos 4- nervous
Logos 4- misinformed
Elemental (cold)- character has a cold aura
Mighty Muscles- character is much stronger than size suggests
Sticky Steps- character can cling to any surface
The Art of Revelation- you refute the lie of objective truth
Creed- 5 (Looking for a fight)
59 cm tall, weighs 11 kg
They have a ‘large or toothy mouth’ and appear to be a very slightly longer than average but much fatter ferret, that happens to be blue. And maybe there are some snowflakes coming out of their mouth. It’s fine.
(Right now I want to keep the randomly generated ones, random, but to actually run this character I’m thinking about changing the creed to 4 (Power comes from eating god) mostly due to context from the name)
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Getta Loada Dese Guys (Short: Fork)(...straight bugs bunny reference)
Ethos 6- lucky
Pathos 4- cynical
Logos 5- thoughtful
Roving Members- character can detach and re-attach body parts and act through them at a distance
Amphibious- character can move and breathe on water like on land
Sticky Steps- yeah two characters got this
Art of Guising- you refute the lie of identity
Creed- 3 (Chaos! It’s only a crime if you get caught)
56 cm tall, 9 kg
Gravelly voice, bony flesh. They’re like a supersized tenrec, with spiky ‘hair’ made out of bones. When they’re underwater they have a bone snorkel and face mask that don’t actually seem to do anything.
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I've Done Everything Right To Avoid Spoilers Of Any Kind And Yet Here The Hell You Are (Short: Fork)(That’s from a comment on the Outer Wilds reddit, about the new Zelda game)
Ethos 7- determined (foolhardy)
Pathos 4- uptight (sincere)
Logos 4- predictable
Deep Digger- character can dig through earth easily
Polycephalous- character is literally two faced, I chose a face on the front and on the back of the head
Superior Sense (taste and smell)- Keener taste and smell than a human’s.
Art of Ubiquity- you refute the lie of separation
Creed- 6 (God is a tyrant and must be Killed and Eaten)
56 cm tall, 12 kg
This one is a little muppety looking Thing that digs by eating the dirt rapidly and spitting it out of their other head? It’s inspired by Eoin Colfer but this fits the system in a way that will not derail every session
(If I edit this one to run, I’d swap Ethos and Pathos- this is not a Straight Man type character)
~ And the two non-randomly generated characters (names were chosen first)
Misery And Sorrow Follow Us Around, But When That Music Hits And The Band Starts To Play, Please-You, Better, Get-Out-Of-Our-Way (Short: Fork) (The name is from a Steam Powered Giraffe song)
Ethos 4- impulsive
Pathos 7- romantic
Logos 4- predictable
Fast Feet- character is much faster than they should be
Lanky Limbs- character has a very long reach
Masterful Mimic- character can vocally replicate any sound they’ve heard
Art of Conveyance- you refute the lie of location
Creed- 2 (There is something wrong with the cosmos on a fundamental level)
Tall and probably Heavy
A liquid metal possum, a very long legged, very fast, dancing possum, who is wearing red suspenders for some reason. They don’t have pants, so it’s anyone’s guess why they have the suspenders.
~
Why Are You Like This? Just Take Your Damn Soup (Short: Spoon) (Name is from Order of the Stick (1279))
Ethos 4- foolhardy
Pathos 5- hot-blooded
Logos 6- scheming
Bottomless Belly- character can swallow anything in their mouth, and potentially digest anything they can swallow, or hold it (as an extra inventory spot) for later
Hundred Handed- character has minimum four hands- actual number can vary
Superior Sense (taste)-  character has a sense of taste superior to humans
Art of Consumption- you refute the lie of limitations
Creed- 4 (This character literally eats gods)
Short and Heavy
Robezpierre gets final say (she suggested the name) but I’m thinking, it’s a fat, furry little, thing, with two heads you can just see the eyes looking up from under the hair, but the mouths are longer than they maybe should be, and you’re sure it just licked it’s own ear with a tongue that shouldn’t have fit in that mouth
Thoughts: First, for an idea of where I’m coming from, I’ve been playing Lancer and semi-recently the group I play in did a play test of Icon so
I’m having fun with the creator. Randomly generating a character is pretty fast, but it’s not too hard or too much more time to figure out a build to fit a joke name (Building a replica of a cartoon character seems doable but honestly, not something I’d use this for- there’s better payoff for doing that in a more serious system). The random feature table is nice- if it’s not obvious I default to ‘this animal but weirder’ and at minimum having more traits to suggest something different gets me closer to something that fits better with other looney tunes critters. This system feels like it incentivizes you to come into it without any kinda plan and figure out the character as you go along, which is also nice for one-shots or pick up and play or ‘normal dm is moving right now who wants to run something quick’
I had to read the arts and faucets a few times to understand what they were doing (the looney tunes type gags and the comedy trio) but I have a negative passive perception and an inability to pick up on hints so don’t take that too seriously.
Any serious comments have already been addressed or are going to happen, I think- moving some of the tables around to make it flow better and such.
The full playtest draft of Eat God is up. For those just joining us, I'll let the document's own intro do the talking:
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Eat God is a game where you take on the role of a small gremlin-like creature. Though you're just as much a person as anybody else, the setting's dominant human culture tends to regard your kind as clever vermin, which means you don't get a lot of respect – but it also means you usually aren't seen as a threat, which may occasionally work to your advantage.
Unfortunately for the people in charge, you're not just any clever vermin: you and your companions are God-eaters, wandering practitioners of an esoteric discipline – part existential philosophy, part martial art – which affords you a limited capacity to bend the laws of reality to your will. As its name suggests, the God-eater's creed also has serious objections to authority in all its forms.
In a typical session of Eat God, you and your friends will arrive in a community that's suffering under some abuse of power, and proceed to cause problems on purpose. Owing to your limited outsider's perspective, your efforts may not necessarily help, but they'll definitely ensure that those responsible have a bad time. Actual theophagy may or may not be involved, depending on the situation at hand.
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... or, for those not inclined to read between the lines, you're a bunch of muppets with Looney Tunes super powers wandering around a gritty fantasy milieu stirring shit up.
This is a little less finished than I prefer my first drafts to be, but I'm sixty pages deep and well and truly sick of filling out d66 tables – it's time to get it in front of eyes that aren't mine!
If you're coming in from the previous character creation teaser, revisions in this version (apart from, you know, the actual rules being present) include expanded treatment of Facets, minor rewrites to several Traits, major rewrites to at least a couple Rebellious Arts, and at least four entirely new d66 tables to play with.
You can find the link above, or right here.
As always, questions, criticisms, and bizarre rants are welcome!
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sneakers-and-shakes · 8 months ago
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Starting A Blog: Behind The Scenes of My Blog
Often times I overcome writers block by writing about writing. If I’m writing fiction, I’ll make the plot about a writer struggling with writers block. If I’m writing my blog, well then I write about blogging.
So this month, in an effort to find a topic to write about I’ll be detailing out the bts (behind the scenes and not my favorite kpop boys unfortunately) about how I run my blog.
Now it’s apparent that my blog is far from successful but it does bring me personal fulfillment to put together a post and make my monthly update. I’ll go into more of that later but first let’s start at the beginning.
Blogspot:
I chose to start my blog on blogspot over creating a site on Squarespace or Wix because it was honestly the easier option. Blogspot is completely free to use and pretty intuitive to figure out. Since it’s focused on blogging, posts are super easy to put together. You don’t even have to buy the domain right away if you don’t want to invest any money and are trying to get started.
Naming/Header Art/Logo:
I named my blog sneakersnshakes after two things that I felt really defined me back when I made it four years ago. I still love converse and milkshakes so I’m not upset that I chose this name even though my tastes have evolved. It also is a nice alliteration and made for an easy logo.
There are lots of sites that will make you a logo which you can then buy. I used those an inspiration for my logo and ended up making my own on a drawing app on my ipad. The colors were also inspired from the sites I was using for research. I thought greens and blues would feel a little neutral and fit the idea of a lifestyle blog.
The header art was also made on the drawing app, I am not the best artist but I was able to trace a picture of converse and connect them to the classic image of an old school milkshake.
Blog Posts:
I started the blog because I have been slowly figuring out and evolving my journals, planners and lifestyle updates and changes and wanted to have a way to document them and share them with others.
My blog posts are usually inspired by the things I am currently doing, things I’m trying out or thoughts and concepts relevant to my life. Lately I’ve been struggling to come up with ideas so I’ve used Pinterest to get some inspiration about blog post ideas. A blog is so personal, even if a concept is broad when you actually write it out it becomes unique to you.
I started this post out on pen and paper first then re-wrote it as I typed it up to make it sound better and flow better.
I always recommend waiting overnight or a day after your first draft of any piece of writing before returning to it with fresh eyes. It’ll help you re-write and edit process as you find better ways to phrase your previous sentences.
Pictures/Graphics:
I try to always have a picture or graphic in all my posts so there is a reference image attached to the post on the site.
It’s also good to have a presence on other social media sites and my choice is Instagram. I try to post a new picture once a week. (Obviously I’m not making money off of this, nor is it my job so I know that’s not nearly often enough but it works for my purposes).
(I also cross-post everything on tumblr).
My favorite app for making graphics is Desygner. I absolutely love this app, there are so many templates even if you’re just using the free version (which I am) and I use it to make every graphic for this blog including the Instagram posts that declare I have a new blog post out.
What I have learned:
I mentioned before that this whole process, despite being ��unsuccessful” brings me personal fulfillment and it’s because the whole process: writing the post, editing, adding pictures, making the graphics, and finally posting is not just a labor of love but when you see that finished product there is pride in that labor.
It’s challenged me to write in different ways (since I primarily write fiction) and given me an avenue to share my thoughts. It’s also motivated me to actually do and try different things (do it for the blog) and broadened my outlook as I try to come up with topics.
When I go back through all the different posts over the years there is a strong sense of pride for actually accomplishing the full package of everything it takes to get one post out.
This blog will likely never gain popularity or become successful, but it will remain a testament to my effort and thoughts and passion for the craft.
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it!
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fueledbysano · 2 years ago
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𝟎𝟎𝟗 | still take you home
summary: and as he looked into her eyes deeply for the first time, he could see the future that he never dreamt of, but now longed for more then ever. [ Y / N ] shares a sweet moment with Mikey as she treats his wounds after a fight. Takemichi meets the pair's daughter from the future.
content/warnings: this story contains major Tokyo Revengers manga spoilers, canon divergence setting, tenjiku arc setting, comfort, fluff, angst, detailed writing of violence, weapons, blood, death, and strong language.
a/n: using a new layout :) also i apologize for the lack of updates i still very much love this series but I had to reread the arc and it required a lot of finding for free time to do that. anyways, here's nine.
wc: 4k
series masterlist | previous | next
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The school gates after hours were a place for lovers and cliques. Every available seat was occupied by either— a couple gazing into one another’s eyes; or a fun group cracking jokes. Yet by the fountain stood a lonesome girl, statue-like in her styled uniform.
[ Y / N ] almost belonged, but not quite.
You dressed in scrubby maroon trousers like all others and wore a white button-up with a complementing necktie under a black leather jacket patched with some band logos that had been in fashion before you were born.
While it quite sucks that none of your close friends in Toman or the girls go to the same school, the loneliness in the environment is a blessed curse. I think most people will agree when I say— Existence by yourself offers the possibility for true tranquility to settle every aspect of your being after a stressful day.
Growing up alone was terrifying to you. You’re fortunate in a way that you eventually had people’s pleasant company that has brought harmony, delight, and a fresh sense of surprise. All while respecting your personal time.
We occupy this equilibrium, and it is wise to be aware of these emotional ebbs and flows.
This school was your only “break” from the bustle of you and your friends’ gang life, so it was only acceptable that none of the people here truly knows the reasons behind your absences, as well as your reserved and serious demeanor; and you were happy to maintain decent grades whilst keeping a low profile.
However, trying to live two different lives will eventually catch on, and will make things complicated.
“No shit, she does street racing?!” You subtly turn your head to the right, only to see in your peripheral vision the clique of the school’s wealthy and “popular” kids seated on the other side of the fountain.
Were they talking about me? You question yourself, and maintain your posture. You know it’s possible that at some point, your schoolmates will have to find out that you break speed limits (and when necessary, bones) for a living. and you were never really ready for that.
“Makes sense, she doesn’t even come to school every day and we’ve never seen her outside. Probably gets into fights too.” One girl spoke. You find it quite obnoxious of her to spread rumors about someone right behind them.
“She seems cool, invite her over and let’s ask.” One guy spoke up.
“Yo, [ L / N ]–chan!” The group finally made themselves visible to you by surrounding your space.
“Care for a drink?” A girl offered.
“That depends.” You answered, relaxing your shoulders and letting your elbows situate on the concrete behind you.
“It’s on us!” They insisted.
“I can hear you, y'know?” You spoke, referring to the earlier incident.
“Yeah. So… Do you still wanna come?” The girl asks.
“Hm,” You hum in response, taking a few steps forward as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. Not only they’re obnoxious gossipers, but also rude.
Did they mean alcohol? If so, you didn't want to overshare and drive under the influence. If they meant coffee or anything of the like, it’s always nice to get treated. And although you don’t exactly like it, small talk would do. It’s a small price to pay for their company and drink.
However, having heard what they have been talking about earlier, you knew their intentions right away. So, you had to decline.
Just as you were about to respond, a crowd of students at the front started to steer clear of the area as the sound of a familiar, loud motorcycle engine was fast approaching. You hum to yourself before walking past the group, just in time as Mikey pulls over at the front gate.
He was quite earlier than the usual time when he fetches you from school.
“Hey, B. Hop in.” He spoke, tossing a helmet your way which you effortlessly caught just above your height.
Mikey kept a close glare on the group of students who were surrounding you. “I’ll catch you another time.” you mounted the seat behind him on the motorcycle before securing the helmet over your head.
“Tch.” Although you couldn’t see it, one of the girls rolled her eyes and took her friend as they left.
“Hey, Mikey.” You smiled at him through the side mirror, encasing his torso in your arms.
“Come on.” He pats your arm before revving the engine loudly and then speeding off.
“Were those kids bothering you?” He asks once you reach a quieter road.
“Actually, I can’t tell.” You answered. “This isn’t the way to my house. Where are we off to?”
“Emma. She wants to have you and Hina over for dinner.”
“Yes!”
Not long enough, the two had pulled over in front of a small record store where Emma part-timed.
“Everyone will meet here. Do you mind waiting?”
“Not at all, I like hanging out here.” You answer upon opening the glass doors to the shop, the dainty bells above making a sweet chime which notified Emma of your presence.
“[ Y / N ]-chan! Let me just close up and we’ll go.” She spoke from behind the counter.
“Take your time, I’ll be here.” You waved her off, making yourself comfortable on the common area couch. “What’s new this week?” Your eyes were focused on scanning through the vinyl records to test out on the player.
However, just as you picked your choice, Mikey had already put on a Linkin Park record which started to spin and play on the player. With a smile, you relaxed back down on the seat, letting your legs rest above Mikey’s lap which earned a faint hum from him.
But just as he saw your cozy state laid on the couch comfortably, he pats on your leg with a smile, keeping it in place before slouching onto a more comfortable position himself.
“I’m so glad we got to go home early today, we have been preparing for the event all day…” Mikey didn’t even hear your fussing, his mind too clouded with the thought of your closeness and how he wished you didn’t have other plans and stay just as it is.
“Mikey, it's almost time.” Draken’s voice followed the store bell chime, diverting your head to the Toman founders heading to see their leader.
“Right.” You let your legs fall to the ground to let Mikey get up, then shift to get up on your own.
“Hey, Emma! We're leaving.” Draken calls.
“Yeah, say goodbye to your brother.” Mikey added.
“Bye, Mikey!” Emma waved from behind the counter. “And uh, goodbye, Draken!” She smiled sweetly at the tall boy as the rest of them left.
However, Mikey remained, eyeing his friends on their bikes before turning to you, who returned to the seat to inspect your phone.
“Hey.” He was situated on your side, making his presence known.
“Hm?” You hummed in response, now looking the boy in his eyes.
“A kiss before we leave?” With a pout, he asks so adoringly, making it impossible for you to deny. Which you didn't, leaning forward to initiate a sweet kiss with the boy as your second kiss with him.
“You're my first kiss, you know?” You breathed out in between kisses.
“And I you.” He sweetly responds. “And I want a thousand more.” He added, pulling you in for another kiss before he leaves.
“Have fun at dinner.” Mikey grins.
“Good… luck with the meeting?” You chuckled.
“I'll see you soon.” Mikey's hands wandered down your waist for a hug before sending himself off. However, upon turning to the doors, Draken stood tall with his arms crossed and an impatient look on his face.
“AH!” Mikey yelped.
“Tsk.” Draken shook his head.
“Oh, there’s the lint.” Your hands scurried to his shirt to flick off a "lint".
“Bye bye!”
“Bye…” You waved in response, watching him leave the store with Draken.
“So, what are we having?” You turn to Emma just as she leaves the staff room.
“Hina is showing us the new place that opened up down the road.” She smiled, flipping the “CLOSED” sign on the door you’d just walked past.
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“Hina-chan! This is an amazing choice of place. The food and ambience is really nice.” You chirp just as the waiter leaves upon serving your desert.
“Hm, I wish I had ordered the parfait too…” Hina admired the treat on the table.
“We can share, here.” You insist, pushing the tall glass in the middle of the table.
“So, my friends at school were talking about kid names,” Hina mentioned while digging into the layers of cream,
“Why?” You wondered, picking off the cherry on top.
“We drew our ‘future kids’ in arts class today. The teacher was asking for a name too.” She explained.
“I’m glad we didn’t do that at my school. Would’ve taken me more than a day. I’m very indecisive.” You chuckled.
“You would.” She agreed.
“Anyways, what did you come up with?”
“I really like the name Lili.” She spoke.
“That’s so cute, Hina-chan! I would’ve put Kuroe.” Emma agreed.
“Like the American movie? That’s so nice.” You spoke.
“What about you, [ Y / N ]?” Emma nodded in agreement before turning to you.
“I… don’t know. Never really thought of it. Ask me again in like… Twelve years?” You chuckled, tossing in a random number as you finished the fruit.
While digging into the parfait, you were lost in thought when all of a sudden you remembered a name you adored and had once read in a book you enjoyed. Morin, that’s right.
“But, I do like the sound of the name—” Just as you were about to mention it, your phone rang and displayed the name of one of your teammates. “Excuse me.” You sigh, sliding out of the booth you sat on.
During your absence, Emma and Hina carried on with the conversation until the blonde girl had emptied her cup of tea.
“Alright, it's reading time.” One of her found-hobbies was Tasseography, which is the art of identifying symbols and interpreting messages found in the shapes and configurations of tea leaves.
“I’ll finish this then do mine too!” Hina spoke, sipping on her own cup.
“Yeah, me too. You haven't done my leaves in a while, Emma.” You returned just in time, pushing your empty tea cup towards the girl.
“Alright, give me.” She picked the ceramic cup, carefully inspecting the shapes at the bottom of it.
“[ Y / N ]–chan?”
“Yeah?” You hum, watching her reactions.
“Are you and Mikey dating?” She asks right away.
“What?” Your eyes widened, curious of what she had in mind.
“You see— this sign here means strong emotion, and uh… here is a heart for love, romance, and home…” She observed, showing the symbols for you.
“If the zodiac wheel is printed on this cup, the heart would be on… the Leo house.” She added.
“Mikey-kun is a Leo!” Hina mentioned.
“Yeah, exactly.” Emma agreed. “This chain pattern right here means a series of events and responsibility so you will be busy…” She continued,
“and uh, the cross sign here means… plus, or addition. Something or someone is coming into your life. That’s all.” Emma finished, placing the cup back down.
“Is that bad?” You wondered.
“Only fate knows.” She smiled, which you hummed in response to.
“Your turn, Hina-chan!” Emma turned to her.
“So, all that from an empty cup of tea?” Hina questioned.
“Amazing, huh?” She responded, this time with the other girl’s tea cup in her hands.
“Uhm, about Mikey…” You started,
“You don't worry about me! I always knew you two would end up together, you know?” Emma chuckled and paused for a moment. “and I helped him pick the flowers he gave you, so I figured.” She shrugged.
“You know, I hated being given flowers. It’s like people are giving me something to look after. Like a pet.” You mentioned, slightly slouching on your booth. “So I’d rip them apart and put them in my car to smell nice.” You added.
“But, I didn’t do that with the ones he gave, they’re still fresh on my desk.” You smiled to yourself before noticing your two friends giggling at your words. “Whatever.” You shrugged off, turning your gaze away.
“I never knew someone would like my brother this much.” Emma pointed out.
“Shut up.” You laughed, tossing a napkin towards their way.
“Okay, I’m done reading yours, Hina-chan.”
“Tell me everything!”
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After your dinner, Hina insisted on heading home while you and Emma decided to stop by at Toman’s meeting. Sitting on the trunk of one of the parked cars, you managed to get a view of the scene in front of the taller guys who were towering your view.
Mikey is currently in the middle of a fight with a few guys, with two of them left standing and evidently struggling to fight back.
“I thought this was just a meeting.” You wondered, sipping from the bottle of water in your hand.
“He’s punishing the guys who attacked the third division.” Mitsuya joined your spot.
“That gang, right.” You nodded.
Upon finishing the bottle, you continued to watch the ongoing fight. This time, with only one guy left standing. Be careful— you kept on thinking. Everyone is aware of Mikey’s confidence, yet, you could only wish for his safety and certain victory at this very moment.
He, however, noticed your presence by how you stood out on that car trunk and the way a lamp post shred light to your frame.
“Ooou!” Some members winced once the guy managed to land a punch onto Mikey’s cheek, in which he quickly shrugged off and returned, this time with much greater intensity, sending the guy to the ground.
“Alright, everyone’s dismissed. Scram.” Draken demanded, instantly sending everyone to clear the area, hop on their bikes, then leave.
“You took a pretty hard hit.” You voiced, touching his jaw with your fingertips as you observed the bruising skin.
Mikey quietly awed at your gesture, in which he responded with an “I’m fine.” You nodded before taking out a can of soda from the plastic bag of the convenience store you’d stopped by earlier to buy snacks.
Mikey utters a soft “thank you” before taking you to stand by his bike. “Welcome.” You smiled, leaning against the seat along with him.
“[ Y / N ], you do know that… I will never hurt you, right?” He blurts, holding the cold can against his face.
You then realized where this may be coming from, which you assured him in an instant. “Mikey,” You sighed, turning to face him.
“When you looked at me… you seemed scared.” He added.
“I’m not. I’ve seen you fight like a million times.” You chuckled. “It’s just that… this time, I was extra worried for you.” You abruptly turned away from the blurt of emotion before deciding to get to your point. “... and Kenchin. Because then, he’ll be the one who will treat your injuries.” You joked, lightening up the mood.
“To me, you’re our Mikey.” You spoke, taking away the can from his hand. “Who will do everything in his power to protect the people he cares about.” You smiled, carefully cradling his face in your palms. “So to answer your question… I do know that. Always have.” You reiterated with a gentle smile.
In response, he gently pulls your chin towards him and carefully surrounds his lips with yours as you elevate your head to his and offer your lips.
Slightly smiling against each other’s lips, his eyes flutter shut in response, intoxicated by your effect on him.
“Good night guys, be safe on the way home.” On the other side of the parking lot there stood Mitsuya who was preparing to leave with his motor, waving at Draken and Chifuyu who had sped off to the road.
“Your girlfriend is not here?” He turned to Takemichi who stood still, making sure that everyone had left safely.
“[ Y / N ] said she went home early.” He says.
“Oh, need a ride then?” Mitsuya offered.
“I’m fine, thank you.” He politely declined with a bow before bidding their goodbyes.
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“Nakata Wheels Downtown.” Morin read out the signage on top of the building, making sure that this is the place where [ Y / N ] lived.
It had been an hour since she stood on the opposite side of the road, thinking through how to approach her mother’s past self. Suddenly, a motorcycle pulls over at the front just as she was about to cross. “Shit.” She cursed, realizing it was [ Y / N ] and Mikey.
“Good night.” She spoke softly, sending the boy off with a hug before he sped off, then blinking the tail lights three times.
[ Y / N ] stayed outside until the boy came out of sight then she carefully lifted the garage doors, tossing her belongings in a car before getting on it to leave.
“Oh, where are you going?” She spoke to herself, hiding into a blinder spot to avoid being seen.
With a failed attempt to connect to [ Y / N ] she turns away to retreat, deciding to start looking for places to sleep at. “At least I’m sure that’s where she lived.” She sighs, sitting at one of the benches at the park she passes by.
With a heavy sigh, she began to slowly slouch and drift into a deep sleep on the uncomfortable bench, until someone talking on the playgrounds had woken her up.
“Mmmn. Better get back home before mom and dad wake up!” Upon opening her eyes, she sees a pink-haired girl and a blonde boy talking by the slides.
“Hina, um…” The boy sighed, “About that stuff I just said, I mean, the future stuff.” He rambled.
Hina?
“I didn’t hear a thing.” The girl smiled in response.
“Huh?”
“Bye-bye, Takemichi-kun!” She turns to leave, waving the boy goodbye.
“Awright! I got a lotta stuff to get done!” He yells at himself with a pep-talk. “For this time-leap, I know who the enemy is…”
Morin gasped at the mention of his name. Takemichi is [ Y / N ]’s close friend in the future, who could apparently time leap too. Has she finally found someone to approach?
But of course, she thought it would be hilarious to mess up with him first.
As he was continuing to do a monologue, Morin had already sneaked behind, landing a slide kick to his ankles which caused him to fall on his ass on the ground.
“What, who are you?!” The boy yelled, looking up at her with surprise.
“Hello, uncle.” She smiled before stepping on his feet to keep him in place.
“Who?” He asks in confusion.
“You know, I genuinely thought—” She was about to answer until someone had dragged her shirt from the back, “Wait, what—” Upon facing the person, Hina was back with an angered expression, making sure to land a slap on Morin’s cheek the moment she turned to her.
“Who are you?” She asks.
“Why’d you do that? And yea, who are you even?” Takemichi winced, getting up from the ground.
“Sano.”
“Eh? Sano?” He asked in surprise.
“Morin [ L / N ]-Sano.”
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“D&D motors” Read on the shop [ Y / N ] went off to collect her car that had been damaged and repaired.
“He looks good as new.” Seishu says, tossing the car keys to [ Y / N ].
“He does, thank you.” She agreed, fingers brushing over to the once damaged door which was now brand-new quality. “Welcome back, baby.” She muttered.
Inui was counting the cash she had paid him when her phone started to ring, “[ Y / N ]– desu.” She answers upon seeing Hina’s name on the screen.
“Hey, are you home yet?” The girl on the other line spoke.
“No, I’m on my way to Yokohama.” [ Y / N ] answered.
“Huh? This late?”
“Racing stuff. Are you home?” She asks, changing the matters in an instant.
“Yeah. Takemichi-kun just dropped me off.”
“That’s great, good night Hina-chan.” She nodded.
“Good night, [ Y / N ]-chan!”
“Try not to answer the phone while you’re driving this time.” Seishu noted, folding up a greased towel in his hands.
“Too soon.” [ Y / N ] turns to him with a straight face. “Still giving you a tip though. Thanks.” But she smiles in an instant, slipping a 500-yen bill in his work shirt pocket before getting in the car to leave for Yokohama.
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“[ Y / N ] is sneaking off somewhere. We can’t take you to her.” Hina spoke upon ending the call.
“Of course you can’t!” Morin scoffed. “What’s your plan? Drop me off at her place like— ‘Hey! It’s me! Oh, who’s this? It’s your child. Gotta go’!” She narrated.
“I don’t understand…” With brows tense, and deep into thoughts, Takemichi spoke out. “You weren’t even born yet when I time leaped.” He mentioned, having recalled that [ Y / N ] just found out she was pregnant at the hospital in the future.
“Seems like I’m from far ahead than where you were from.” Morin added.
“Are you sure you’re not another half-sibling or something?” Takemichi scratched his head. Morin sighed in response, taking out a folded up photo from her pocket.
“This is what dad looked like in the future, right?” She asks, showing a photo of an adult Mikey and [ Y / N ] on a beach. She had snuck this from when they were packing things, meaning to keep it in an album before she miraculously went back in time.
“He’s gone and it was just me and mom.” She added.
“Seems that we have the same abilities but you are physically here.” Takemichi pointed out. ���Fascinating.” He added.
“What do you mean?”
“I can only time leap twelve years into the past, then back to the future. However, only my consciousness ‘travels’. I’m basically the grown up ‘me’ in my high school self.” He explained. “You weren’t even alive this time. You’re really here. The future [ Y / N ] must be wondering where you are.”
“That is so cool.” She replied. “But, you're right. So, what do we do?” Morin asks.
“Go back. Who’s your trigger?” He asks.
“...what?”
“Listen, what I’m doing here can get dangerous. I… I died in the future I just came from.” He explained, muttering the last part loud enough only for her to hear.
“Damn.” She sighed heavily.
“The [ Y / N ] I know in the future has been hurt enough already, please just come back to her before anything happens to you. She can’t lose both you and Mikey-lun.” He stressed.
“You’re here because you want to get her back, right?” Morin hinted. “Well, I’m here to be with them. I’m not going back until I’m sure mom and dad end up together.” She confided.
“Tsk.” Takemichi sighed, burying his head in his palms.
“Are we gonna do this or what?” The girl questioned.
“You really are their kid.” He sighed in response.
“Eh?”
“You’re brave. Like Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ].” He vouched. “Fine, we’re going to talk tomorrow. For now, do you have anywhere to stay?”
“No. I’ve been sleeping on trains since I got here.” Morin answered.
“You can stay at our home.” Hina insisted. “Will your folks be okay with that?” She asks. “ I’ll just tell them you’re sleeping over because your parents aren’t home.” Hina says. “That works.” The other girl agreed.
“Alright, let’s get going, then.” Takemichi stood from the slide, following the girls as they walked ahead.
“So, that’s how the slap felt.” Morin says, feeling her cheek.
“Hm?” Hina turns to her.
“Mom said you slapped dad in the face one time.” She replied.
“Eh, yes…” Hina chuckled tensely, “Anyways, I’m really sorry about that.” She added.
“No worries.” Morin laughed.
“I still can’t believe it, you really are Mikey-kun and [ Y / N ]’s kid.” Takemichi mentioned it upon listening to their conversation.
“She has Mikey-kun’s hair too.” Hina pointed out.
“For the record, this is really weird to me too.” Morin turns to face him with a laugh. He got shivers just by looking at her due to how startlingly similar her expressions were to those of her father.
“Wait until you meet them, I guess.”
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coochiequeens · 3 years ago
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In the spring of 2020, as Boston’s first COVID-19 wave raged, I was the gastroenterologist on call responding to a patient hospitalized with a stomach ulcer. Wearing a layer of yellow personal protective equipment over a pair of baggy scrubs, I spent 30 minutes explaining to him that he needed an endoscopic procedure. We built a rapport, and by the end of our conversation about the pros and cons, he seemed to agree with my recommendation. I told him we would be ready to perform his endoscopy within half an hour.
“Well, before we do anything, I’m going to need to discuss it with the doctor.”
I blinked.
When I entered the room, I had introduced myself as the doctor. I had also just explained, in great detail, a highly specialized procedure.
Of course.
He still assumed I was a nurse, or a medical technician, or a physician assistant—anything but a doctor, especially his doctor.
I wish I could tell you his assumption was rare, but it’s not. A recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that patients were about 20 percent less likely to assume that a woman wearing scrubs was a surgeon, compared with men. The study also found that patients consider a woman in scrubs to be “less professional” than a man in the same outfit. Because many hospitals, including mine, required workers to wear scrubs and PPE during the pandemic, this became an even bigger problem than usual for female physicians.
My tale of mistaken identity is just one example of the many ways the coronavirus sparked the tinderbox of gender inequity in medicine. Women hemorrhaged from the health-care workforce in staggering numbers; at least 1.4 million left their jobs in April 2020 alone. That number rebounded somewhat, but more than a year later, women still held half a million fewer health-care jobs than they did in 2019. Female doctors are still paid 75 cents for every dollar made by their male colleagues, and since the pandemic began, they have fallen disproportionately ill from COVID-19, turned down more leadership opportunities, spent more time on home and family responsibilities(while writing fewer research papers), and been provided a level of support for child care and maternity leave that is outright insulting, given our field’s supposed calling as caregivers. On top of all that, we’ve had to deal with this new wrinkle in the double standard related to the oldest problem we face: our appearance, specifically our clothing.
For generations, the hallmark of physician attire was a crisp white coat. The coat became an icon of medical authority, cleanliness, and scientific inquiry in the late 19th century, an era when few women had the opportunity to practice medicine. Over time, though, male physicians moved away from the white coat to … well, whatever they wanted to wear, really: a formal business suit, a shirt and tie, or a Patagonia Better Sweater fleece jacket embroidered with their institutional logo. It doesn’t matter. Male physicians can generally count on commanding respect by virtue of their profession alone, whereas the majority of patients still believe that it’s inappropriate for their female physicians to forgo the white coat.
The pandemic rendered all this moot. Concerns about the white coat’s potential to harbor and transmit pathogens led many hospitals to drop it—along with the business-casual alternatives—in favor of unisex scrubs for all. A chance to level the playing field? You’d think so. Instead, the goal posts for women physicians just shifted.
Female physicians don’t even need to be at work to experience sexism related to how we look and dress. In the summer of 2020, during the brief respite between the onset of the pandemic in the spring and the fall surge to come, a medical journal posted an article titled “Prevalence of Unprofessional Social Media Content Among Young Vascular Surgeons.” Under the paternalistic guise of wanting to ensure that early-career physicians were “cautious of their social media content,” three male “screeners” used fake accounts to scour the accounts of their unwitting female colleagues (who make up a paltry 6 percent of their specialty) to evaluate their “unprofessional” clothing; they were off-duty female surgeons accused of “provocative posing in bikinis/swimwear.” (In the middle of a global pandemic, it is unclear how this issue became a pressing scientific question.)
I felt attacked. This wasn’t the work of trolls in some creepy internet backwater. These were our own colleagues publicly passing judgment, in a respected journal, on female doctors—many emerging from the most traumatic experience of their career—who were doing nothing more than posting vacation photos to Instagram. Although the study was met with swift backlash and quickly retracted, the debacle captured the spirit of the quotidian sexism faced by women doctors.
Now, with COVID-19 in retreat once again, hospitals are relaxing their dress codes to pre-pandemic standards—which unfortunately means swapping out one source of appearance-related sexism for another. I am bracing for a return to the kind of distressingly routine encounters that marked my early years as a physician.
One day, during my senior year of residency, I was explaining the etiology of a patient’s heart murmur to my team of seven more-junior physicians, pharmacists, and medical students. I asked my patient how much exercise he was able to tolerate with his condition.
He hesitated, then smiled. “I’m sorry, I got distracted. It’s that little leopard skirt you have on. Can’t take my eyes off.”
I froze. The atmosphere in the room transformed. I was no longer leading a large medical team in a didactic moment but turning red under the male gaze as everyone stared … at my hips.
Immediately, I asked myself: Is my outfit unprofessional?
I was indeed wearing a leopard-print pencil skirt. But the fit was relaxed, and I’d purchased it at a popular store for women’s “business-formal work clothing” where hemlines rarely made it above the knee. Mine was no exception—and no, it was not unprofessional.
Still, should I stop wearing skirts? Why did this man treat me with such disrespect?
I scrambled to collect myself and carry on. But the damage was done. For the remainder of my rounds, I felt like an impostor playing a doctor on TV.
Even before the pandemic, research showed that up to 40 percent of female physicians leave the medical profession within six years of completing their residency. The time and energy we women expend dealing with role misidentification—clarifying our jobs to patients and co-workers alike and questioning our own sense of belonging as we second-guess which clothing would be deemed acceptable—is an insidious diversion that keeps us from focusing on our merits and career advancement. One study found that more than half of female physicians react to misidentification by changing their attire. This is pointless and a waste of time. Instead of worrying about measuring up in ways our male colleagues never seem to lose any sleep over, I hope my sisters in medicine will marshal our pandemic-proven grit and compassion to rise up and speak out against the biases that continue to limit us.
We need you, as patients, to do your part too. Listen when a woman comes into the room and explains her role, regardless of what she’s wearing. Don’t automatically address your questions to the male member of the care team. (He might be just a medical student.) Let us finish speaking without cutting us off; patients are more likely to interrupt female physicians than male physicians. And above all, don’t comment on our outfits. Female physicians want to be judged by the treatment we give you—and nothing else.
It’s about time we all recognized that male and female physicians are cut from the same cloth.
Trisha Pasricha is a contributing writer at The Washington Post and a gastroenterology research fellow at Massachusetts General Hospital.
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jackrrabbit · 3 years ago
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open season thirsts [6/?] /// Akaashi x f!Reader (18+)
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Request: Ooh! Yay!!! Professor Akaashi? (Any character you see fit) x student (of age of course) who has a reputation of being slutty around campus? Maybe he thinks she’s an innocent, good girl student and finds her endearing at first but then he gets angry when he finds out about her duality in the classroom vs. other guys’ beds? I know this is kind of a dark dynamic so don’t feel obligated to write it if it’s triggering or something. Take care of yourself!
A/N: genuinely as a good girl by day/party girl by night, this request goes so hard <3 also this kinda turned into like a full fic so!!
also merry christmas and happy new year lol
Tags/warnings: harassment/dubcon, manipulation, professor!Akaashi, undergrad reader, light degradation, light punishment sex, dom/sub, “good girl”/“bad girl”
You just seemed like such a good girl.
It isn’t only the way you dress in class, although that’s part of it. Akaashi doesn’t mind that most of his students show up to lecture looking like they rolled out of bed and pulled on the first university logo hoodie + sweatpants combo they could find, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate the extra effort you put in: button-down shirts, long coats, understated jewelry, and skirts—always accompanied by dark tights to cover your demurely crossed legs. It’s the way you act, too—how you take notes diligently, fingers clicking across the keyboard of your laptop; how you pay close attention to his voice and seem annoyed when one of your friends starts chatting next to you; how you’re the first one to sign up for his office hours every Friday and you always look a bit frustrated when your watch alarm signals that you have to leave for your next class, like you really and truly wish you could keep talking—you’re a good student, and Akaashi just thought that meant you’d be a good girl, too.
He shouldn’t have let his imagination get away from him. It hasn’t been long since he was an undergrad, and he knows what life is like when you’re a young, good-looking student living away from home for the first time, surrounded by all the alcohol and drugs and casual sex one person could possibly want. Akaashi was no saint when he was your age, and he shouldn’t be so surprised when he finds out that you aren’t, either.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not disappointed.
You show up for Friday office hours two minutes early for your 30-minute slot, as usual, but this time Akaashi’s made sure not to schedule anyone else after. The two of you need time…and privacy. When you set your bag down next to the chair and move to sit, he asks you to please lock the door before you do, and you comply without a second of hesitation. So obedient…really, maybe this isn’t your fault? Maybe you just have a hard time saying ‘no’. That’s something you’ll need to work on.
You have a list of questions written out in your notebook to ask from this week’s course content, but before you can flip it open Akaashi shakes his head. “We can go over your questions later—for now, there’s something else I’d like to discuss with you. If that’s alright.”
Of course it’s alright, and you tell him so, practically vibrating in your seat from your eagerness to please. Akaashi sighs. This is going to hurt, but it’s necessary. He shifts the computer monitor on his desk to face you, and then the video he saw a few days ago on one of the campus social pages is playing across the screen: a cell phone camera recording of a girl at a party wearing lingerie and not much else, holding a can in one hand and a plastic shot glass in the other, grinding into the lap of the man she’s sitting astride with tipsy abandon—until another man pulls her up to stand, winds his arm around her waist, and grips her chin to push a sloppy kiss into her mouth.
“Is this you?” Akaashi asks, even though he knows it is. Six different people have left comments tagging your profile, a few of them accompanied by comments about your apparently less-than-pristine reputation around campus. In the video, the image of you tips her head back, kicks her leg up to hook around her partner’s hip, and grins, pupils reflecting scarlet for a second as the man holding her sucks a spot on her neck. In person, Akaashi can see that you’ve clearly tried to layer makeup over the hickey—it’s a good effort, but now that he’s noticed it’s obvious it’s not natural.
Your mouth falls open a fraction. “Professor—that’s, how did you—?”
“You’re going to ask me for a recommendation at the end of the semester, aren’t you?” Akaashi sits back in his office chair, folds his arms over his chest. “Your work in my class has been excellent and I’d like to be able to give you one, but I’m not sure this is the kind of behavior I can endorse.”
“Professor...” You’re scrambling now, eyes going wide as you try to mount a defense. Under the table, your hands are wringing one another. “That was—it was just a stupid party, I had no idea someone was recording, I promise!”
“From what I understand, this wasn’t an isolated incident—was it? Acting like this in public, where anyone can see… And I’m sure you know that once something’s on the internet, it’s there forever. If you consider this an acceptable way to present yourself, I don’t think I’ll be able to write a recommendation for you.”
“Please, professor?” This comes out in a little gasp, like you can’t believe what he’s saying. Surely you didn’t think you could get away with this forever? Your eyes keep flitting between the video (which is still playing on repeat) and his chest, because you can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. At least you’re not trying to brush it off—you’re clearly embarrassed, and there’s no way Akaashi’s imagining the heat spread over your features. “I’ll—I’ll try to get it taken down! This isn’t what—I mean, I know it’s stupid, but this isn’t how I really am! Please?”
“I don’t believe you, (Y/N)…you look like you’re enjoying the attention. As a matter of fact, I think you’re still enjoying it.”
Under the little skirt you’re wearing—and how did Akaashi never notice before how short your skirts always are?—you fidget, uncross your legs and then cross them again, almost revealing a flash of the dark fabric in between. “Wh-What? No, I promise, I’m not…”
“Then I’d like you to prove it to me.” The words are out of Akaashi’s mouth before he can stop them, but he doesn’t have the willpower to take them back. Maybe—if he’s being honest with himself—this is what he wanted all along.
“I have no idea what you’re saying…” Pretty eyes blink up at him, and he’s glad to see you’re not about to cry. That will make the next part easier.
Akaashi leans in. “What I’m saying…is that a girl who gets off on being being recorded while men play with her probably also gets off when she watches the video. Is that correct?”
You flinch, making shocked eye contact for the briefest of seconds before looking back into your lap. “O-Of course not!”
“I don’t believe you,” Akaashi says calmly.
“But how am I supposed to prove that?”
Fuck…he might get fired for this, but making you squirm like this is worth it. “Show me that you’re not wet.”
Akaashi thought it might take you a minute to understand, but apparently you get his meaning immediately—all the fidgeting stops, and you go completely still aside from your soft lips mouthing the word ‘wet’.
And then—without saying anything else, so smoothly that Akaashi thinks for a second that this is a fantasy and not the reality of his student stripping for him—you shift in your seat to roll your sheer black tights down one leg at a time, stand, and then reach up under your skirt to slide your panties down your thighs. When they’re pooled at your ankles, you step out of them, bend gracefully at the knees to collect them off the floor, and then drop them on his desk. “…See?”
Do you expect him to…check? That you’re not wet? Well, he would, but he’s too focused on the fact that you’re in front of him, all soft thighs and flushed skin, biting your lip and staring to the side. You’re evil, you’re terrible, playing innocent like this. You know exactly what you’re doing…making him want you this badly.
“Come here,” he says, “come closer. I’d like like to confirm.”
And you’re still so eager for his approval, so desperate to please—you walk over to him until he’s close enough to pull you onto his chair to straddle one of his thighs, almost mirroring what you did in the video—on Akaashi’s monitor the recording is still on a loop, but neither of you have enough spare attention to look. His hands meet your bare thighs and stroke up your hips (and you’re so submissive like this, the pliant flesh of your body contrasting perfectly with the muscularity of his), bunching your fitted little skirt up around your waist to expose your pussy.
Still holding your skirt up with one hand, Akaashi tilts the other over your skin and pets a finger from your cunt up to your clit. In truth, he couldn’t say for sure if you got off while watching the video, but the slick gathering over your pussy now is damning. Your breath hitches when he touches you and then releases all at once—whether from the shock, the pleasure, or the shame, he’s not sure. “I’m sorry, professor,” you murmur as he strokes over your pussy, and through the material of his pants he can feel you shaking.
You’re getting wetter and wetter riding his thigh while he layers light touches onto your clit. His student, in his office, while his colleagues and your peers flit around outside with no clue as to what’s going on behind just one locked door… You’ll leave a wet spot on the fabric if you keep this up, and that’s not even going to be the most conspicuous of your problems—Akaashi should be irritated, shouldn’t he? You’re just proving his point, proving you’re a filthy little girl who can’t control your desires—but he’s finding it difficult to process rational thought at this point.
Maybe it’s alright for you to act like this after all. Maybe he just needs to make it obvious to you that there is a time and a place for you to be naughty: whenever he wants you to, and in his lap. Maybe if you were being satisfied, you wouldn’t feel the need to—
A soft chime hits the air, and both of you are jarred for a second. What? Damn it, now of all times—
You exhale in a perfectly muted moan, and then bring a trembling hand up to check your watch. “P-Professor? I have to go—my next class—“
Akaashi pushes his thigh up into the wet spot between your legs and you squeak. “Are you sure?”
You seem to think on it, looking back at him with an expression of pure longing, but the alarm sounds again and you shake your head. “Yes, I—I really have to go, I’m sorry.”
“…If you insist.” Akaashi’s hands leave your waist, letting you up so you can quickly gather your things and smooth the wrinkled skirt back into place while he watches.
Once you’re satisfied (despite still looking deliciously embarrassed) you reach toward the desk to pick up your discarded panties—but Akaashi’s already beaten you to them, picking up the crumpled ball of black fabric and sliding it into his own pocket. “Professor?” you ask hesitantly. “I, um, I need those…”
“Consider it a consequence for your bad behavior,” Akaashi says. If you’re going to leave him high and dry like this, he’s at least going to enjoy the mental image of you going to all of your classes—including his—with nothing covering your slicked up pussy aside from that miniskirt. “I’ll see you in class.”
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bratkook · 4 years ago
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right now. (m) jjk.
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not yet, almost , right now
pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, smut, idiots to lovers!! word count. 14.8k warnings. two mega fucking idiots<33, miscommunication/dumb assumptions, smut in forms of: fingering, oral sex (f.), orgasm denial, spanking, some spit bc duh, unprotected sex, super sweet & lovey!! also jungkook is a sweetheart pls love him summary. coming to terms with your feelings after getting off to the idea of your close friend is a little harder than you thought, but how long can you take before jungkook decides its time to move on? note. did jlin forget how to write for a few weeks? yes, yes she did....i know this took a long time but life is rough man so forgive me... but anyways lol the final part to the not yet!verse is hereeeee! thank you to @kithtaehyung​ for reading this over for me ily!! thank you guys for enjoying this mini series, the response was really unexpected but im sososo happy over every comment/ask i’ve gotten for this story. once again, tysm for your love and let me know what you think<3
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The evening sun illuminates Jungkook’s apartment, golden hour bouncing off every reflective surface and straight into his eyes the second he walks in, immediately squinting as he makes a beeline to shut the blinds. His head was already throbbing from the hangover that decided to peak around noon, a mean case of nausea putting a damper on his work day. So as much as he loved soaking in some vitamin D today was not the day. 
“Are you joking?” he huffs as he brings down the blinds, hand yanking at the flimsy string in an attempt to get it unstuck. “How stup—you’d think with the amount I pay every month in rent the blinds would work!” 
Alright, so maybe he was a little grumpy today, choosing to take it out on an inanimate object and blame it purely on the bad decisions made last night—definitely had nothing to do with the residual moping of you going on a date. This could be fixed, easily. 
The first order of business? Texting you to see if you’d be interested in devouring greasy food from your favorite place down the street. He’d get to see you and finally put something in his stomach, it’s the best of both worlds really. 
Jungkook forgets about the blinds, leaving them stuck in the awkward position as he walks away entirely, fishing his phone out of his pocket while he enters his room. It’s the same text he always sends when he’s hangry: If I don’t get food in the next 15 mins I'm burning this place down and taking you with me. 
He knows the response he’ll get, either that meme of the child in front of a burning house or an equally hangry paragraph. The phone gets tossed onto his bed as he changes out of his work clothes, needing to dispose of the business casual attire that was suffocating him, his old college hoodie giving him the comfort he needs. 
By the time he’s finally slipping on his sneakers he’s expecting you to come knocking on his door, your impatient attitude always putting a smile on his face. Half of the time your neighbors thought you were having arguments from the way you’d pound onto the slab of wood, saying his name with just enough annoyance laced into each syllable it would fool anyone into thinking you were actually upset instead of being a brat. But when that never comes, he reaches for his phone again. 
A few notifications fill up his screen, some instagram direct message previews, his group chat that he never responded to, and a few emails coming through, but you had yet to respond. Maybe it’s a little creepy, but Jungkook knows you’re home because he passed by your parked car on his way in. So his mind jumps to two extremes: you were either face down, drowning in your bathtub, or that yellow shades wearing wannabe version of himself was at your place. 
Not an ounce of shame sits within him as he speedwalks to the side his bed was on, placing both palms onto the wall before his ear was pressed against the cold drywall. Jungkook’s not really sure what would make him feel good, hearing you and Jung Hoseok together, or hearing nothing at all. His ears strain to hear anything, but the only sound he gets is his own blood pumping. 
With a small pout he pulls back, deciding he’d play the annoying neighbor role today and pound on your door instead. It’s a role he doesn’t take lightly, knuckles banging on the wood loud enough for you to hear wherever you were in your apartment. It takes a few minutes before any sign of life is shown, your door creaking open, and Jungkook is thankful because he was about to head to the maintenance office to ask for a key in case you actually were drowning in your bathtub. 
“C’mon, let’s get food,” he declares instantly, a charming smile on his face as he stands with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. The smile slowly falls off when he gets a good look at you, hair looking like a mess on your head and your fluffy blanket draped around you as you give out a weak cough. “Are you sick?”
“I think so,” you rasp out, leaning against your door frame and tugging the blanket tighter around you. 
“Did that fucker give you mono?” Jungkook looks irritated, brows pinched together in a grimace—something you’re definitely not accustomed to seeing so you almost don’t catch his accusation.
“Jungkook, no! It’s nothing serious.”
He doesn’t look fully convinced, but he shrugs anyways, positive you weren’t interested in getting interrogated when you were feeling under the weather. “Alright, let me know if you need me to drive you to the doctor if it becomes something serious.”
With a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you wave him off, slowly shutting the door behind you. Your eye immediately peeks through your peephole, not relaxing until he makes his way down the hall and enters the elevator, still on his quest for greasy food. 
“God, how old are you?” you grumble to yourself, yanking the blanket off your body and onto the floor with a huff. Pretending to be sick to avoid your friend was a new low, especially after the post-orgasm epiphany you had last night. A sane person would come to terms with their feelings and confess to them, uncertainty and possible rejection be damned! But you? No, you have to fake a cold like the giant coward you are. 
The guilt only deepens when a knock comes from your door an hour later, a quick peek through your peephole allowing you to see Jungkook setting two plastic bags on the floor before stepping back and walking to his apartment next door. You don’t come out until you hear his door shut, seeing the logo of your favorite diner down the street. No doubt would your comfort meal be inside the takeaway container. 
It takes all you have to not rush over to his place and say you were lying when you see he had also gone ahead and got you cold medication, a few different bottles because he surely didn’t know which was best, along with teas and some cough drops. 
You’re a dirty liar. A horrible friend too. 
That doesn’t stop you from devouring the meal in the takeout box as you’re hunched over your breakfast bar like a little gremlin. “This is just for today,” you mumble out to yourself as you set the plastic fork down and chug some of the leftover alcohol you had in your fridge. It’s your own version of a pity party, except the food feels heavy in your stomach, knowing the man you were avoiding was the one who bought it—bring on the guilt. 
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
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You’re a dirty liar and horrible friend 2.0. Why this time? Because tomorrow stretched out a few more days than planned. It wasn’t entirely intentional at first, getting stuck at work longer than usual and missing the weekly hangout at your place where you got your remote covered in cheeto dust as you argued over what to watch. But it trickled down onto shorter replies to his texts, or you scrambling out of your apartment and into the elevator so fast in order to not run into him, your mind still trying to list all the pros and cons to this potential relationship before you even had the guts to confess to your feelings. 
Jungkook didn’t know thats what was occupying your mind, no he was currently thinking the worst. He notices the change instantly, recognizing it because this was the exact way you had acted while you were with Hajoon, right before you broke the news to him that you needed to keep some distance while you focused on your relationship. So Jungkook automatically assumes that your sudden change in behavior after going on a single date with Jung Hoseok, was because you wanted to make your relationship with this man work. 
His assumption stings—a lot actually—and soon enough he stops initiating conversations altogether. He didn’t want to hear you tell him you had to distance yourself again, he’s not sure his heart could handle that a second time, so he decides to get ahead of the curb and take a massive step away from you. It hurts him to know you’re right next door, and just like before, it’s like you’re back to being total strangers. 
Safe to say Jungkook was currently going on his own downward spiral. 
You could text him like nothing had happened and he’d accept it with open arms, but instead you text your best friend an SOS text, begging her to meet you at your place. She calls you dramatic at first, but once you say it’s about Jungkook she shows up at your place in record time. 
“Did you finally fuck him?” Is her greeting of choice, spoken shamelessly from the hallway with no worry about her volume. She cackles when you yank the bottle of wine from her grasp and tug her into your apartment, letting the door slam behind her. 
“You’re lucky he’s not home you bitch.” An eye roll is her only response, yanking the bottle back and making her way into your kitchen to grab the opener. 
“So you didn’t fuck him?” The cork pops at her question, a curious glance staring you down as she pours the red liquid into an oversized cup. 
“No Seulgi, I didn’t fuck him. But I did...something.” It makes your face warm up as you remember it, gratefully grabbing the cup she hands your way because you definitely need some liquid courage before confessing to your sins.
She hums in thought as she raids your pantry for something to munch on, settling on a bag of mini pretzels before leading you to your couch, needing to know the gossip that led to your sos text. “Okay, did you accidentally send him a nude then?”
“No, that wouldn’t be so bad I think?” Sending him an accidental nude would be laughable, probably resolved by a few screaming texts and dumb jokes before moving on. But new feelings seeing the light of day seemed so much worse. “But I sort of kissed him at a club a few weeks ago to get back at Hajoon—long story,” you cut in when you see her ready to fire off questions. 
“And then I went on that failed Tinder date I told you about, and when I got home I sort of heard him, you know,”— you mimic a jerking off motion with your hand and ignore her lewd gasp, “and then I…” you trail off shamefully. 
“No!” she gasps even louder, hand pressed to her mouth and eyes wide. 
“Yes! And the fucking orgasm opened my eyes and made me realize that maybe that tiny crush you guys always joke about him having is real, and maybe I have a tiny crush on him too.”
“Does he know?”
“That I like him?”
“No, that you rubbed one out while listening to him you dirty slut!” Oh she’s loving this, leaning back into your cushions with a handful of pretzels resting on her boobs, a sly smile on her lips as she takes a sip of her wine. She’s the one who planted the seed in your mind, playfully joking about Jungkook any chance she got, saying he had the hots for you because she enjoyed the flustered look on your face. No doubt would she text the group chat with the news the second you finish this cry for help. 
“Do you think I told him? I can barely come to terms with the fact that I like him. Like what am I supposed to do?”
She sighs dramatically, munching on the final pretzel on her tits before sitting up and dusting off the crumbs from her shirt. “Look, I know you’re just realizing that he likes you so this is still new and fresh for you, but we’ve noticed it for years. It’s fine that you didn’t see it, you had other things occupying your mind.” 
You frown as you stare at the rug beneath your feet, remembering how life was when you first moved into this complex. Getting out of a previous relationship weeks prior, when you had met Jungkook your mind was not interested in pursuing anything with him regardless of how cute you thought he was. It made it easier for you to form a friendship, not worried about trying to impress him, or flirt with him, allowing him to see you for who you truly are. 
Jungkook had his fair share of girlfriends during the years, none of which were entirely serious but by the time he was completely single you had met Hajoon, and he had accepted the fact that maybe you were better off as friends and he would just admire you from afar. That is, until you decided to plant one on him. So technically this is your fault. 
“Jungkook likes you okay, and I’m sure if you just marched next door and told him you like him too he’ll drop on one knee and marry you.”
“Shut up,” you snort, shoving her shoulder with a smile. 
“As a matter of fact, go over there right now!” She stands up from her spot, yanking your arms to haul you up with her. 
“I told you, he’s not home. But, I’ll tell him. I have to.”
Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at you, clearly displeased that she wouldn’t be witness to this love story unfolding in real time. “You better. You never know what sneaky little bitch is trying to get him to get over you.”
The sneaky little bitch in question is Park Jimin, currently sitting directly across from Jungkook, guzzling down beer like his life depends on it. It's impressive really, how quickly he empties the cup, eyes shut looking as content as could be even in the dim lighting. Jungkook can only watch with a grimace as his friend sets the glass down and wipes at his mouth with no sense of table manners. 
“What?” he burps, proceeding to pour more of the golden liquid into his cup from the pitcher in the middle of the table. 
“I always forget how absolutely disgusting you are. How do you do it?” Jimin just frowns at the question, not entirely understanding so Jungkook continues. “What switch do you flip to go from sipping champagne to chugging beer like a fucking biker.”
“It’s a talent, I know.” He smiles wide, reaching forward to grip Jungkook’s hand and force him to grab his own cup. Condensation was pooling around the bottom from sitting there untouched, and that just wouldn’t do on Jimin’s watch. “C’mon, drink it!”
“Fine,” Jungkook grumbles, raising the glass and allowing Jimin to clank the cups together before taking a big gulp. He doesn’t clear the cup like his friend did seconds prior but it's enough to appease him. It tastes absolutely bitter the whole way down, settling into his stomach uncomfortably, and the look on his face as he pushes the glass away from him is very telling. 
Boisterous shouts fill the sports bar they were in, huddles of people surrounding the tables and booths as they watched the current soccer match playing on the televisions lining the walls. Jungkook honestly feels like a debby downer now, moping in his seat instead of enjoying the atmosphere with his friend like they normally did. The current game was definitely not the reason Jungkook had texted Jimin to grab drinks, no he needed an outlet to talk about you—preferably in a space that didn’t have walls as thin as his apartment.  
When he barely acknowledges the plate of wings set in front of him Jimin huffs, resisting the urge to dig in because he knew once he did he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. “Are you gonna be like this the entire time?”
“Like what?” Jungkook has the gall to ask, acting as if he wasn’t looking like a wounded animal. 
“Like you just discovered your wife of ten years is having an affair with your sister.”
He sits up straighter at that, eyes wide in disbelief. “Jesus.“
Jimin knew the jist of what was happening through the texts he had received the past week, but it seems like Jungkook didn’t want to jump into the topic of it at all now that they were sitting across from each other. He just sighs before deciding to be honest, wasting no time beating around the bush to hopefully be the voice of reason Jungkook needs. “You’ve been simping over her for years JK, and I get it, you think she could be the one. But what about you huh? It’s not fair for you to have your heart wrung out each time she gets a man and decides to put the friendship on pause—“
“That happened once!” He defends, brows pinched on his forehead as he shakes his head, ready to explain your situation because he wasn’t a fan of hearing his friend say anything about you when he didn’t truly know what happened. “The dude was a piece of shit and basically told her it was him or me. I’m not gonna crucify her for wanting a long term relationship to work.”
“Right, so she’s not icing you out again because she got a new man? That’s literally what you told me, it’s why I bought you this sympathy pitcher of beer!”
“Fuck you, you bought this pitcher for yourself.” Jimin had chugged two giant glasses of beer already, and was steadily working on his third, whereas Jungkook’s watered down cup remained relatively untouched. “Besides, I was just...spiraling and assumed when I sent you that desperate text. But I haven’t heard anything.”
Jimin can only stare blankly at the table as he processes what was just said before locking eyes with his friend once more, “Sorry, what? You haven’t heard anything? The hell kind of riddle is that.”
Jungkook sinks into the booth with a look of shame, not wanting to admit to occasionally laying in his bed at night in complete and total silence just to see if he could hear you and the hypothetical version of Jung Hoseok doing literally anything. It’s not one of his proudest moments, feeling like a bit of a creeper as he laid stiff on his bed, too scared to make a sound.  “Nothing, forget about it. Point is, I haven’t seen the fucker come in or out of her place, so what does that mean?”
A deep sigh comes from Jimin, hand reaching forward to push the beer closer to Jungkook, desperately trying to get him to drink and ease up. “It means you pay far too much attention to her. When was the last time you got any action?”
Two weeks ago. From his hand and filthy imagination. 
“A few months,” he grumbles, remembering his last hook up that happened a few days before he discovered you got dumped. 
“Get outta here.” Jimin rolls his eyes as he points to the door. “Literally, go stand at the corner outside, show some thighs or a tattooed titty and take your pick of the swarm of girls that will surely follow you.”
Jungkook thinks he’s joking, but when his friend doesn’t drop his hand and narrows his eyes threateningly he knows he’s being serious. “My tits aren’t even tattooed,”—his large palms press against his shirt covered chest as if to prove a point— “And you sound like a douchebag talking like this.”
“What? She went on a tinder date and definitely got laid, so you need to even out the playing field. Also, it might help you chill the hell out.”
“Oh my god, you’re not helping.” Jungkook really didn’t need that visual again, it had flashed in his mind too often the night of his pity party and now it was once again at the front of his brain. 
“Alright, okay. I’m throwing out my safe word right now.” Jimin leans closer, arms resting on the table with a confused look on his face. “What do you need from me here? Like, do I play the role of a supportive friend who wants you to get over her, or do I play the role of a friend who wants you to confess? Because you’re giving me some mixed signals Jeon.”
A groan escapes Jungkook, fingers rubbing at his eyes before dragging down his face as he sinks even further into his seat. “I don’t know.” 
It’s the truth. Jungkook had no idea what he wanted his friend to do to help him. He knew that although his feelings for you have weighed heavy on his chest for what seems like years, you technically had no idea, so he feels a little guilty over his frustration for the whole situation. You were newly single again and determined to go through this self proclaimed wild phase so Jungkook isn’t dumb enough to think you can’t go out and do whatever you want, even if that means being with someone who isn’t him. 
“Look,” Jimin sighs, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You only have two choices here, tell her how you feel and accept whatever comes with it, or make peace with the idea of just being friends. Either way, I think you need to loosen up and have fun tonight.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jungkook sits himself up, wrapping his fingers around the cup in an effort to at least look like he wanted to be here. He couldn’t sit here and mope about a problem like this when he hadn’t attempted to come out and tell you how he feels. 
One night of loosening up to get you off his mind wouldn’t hurt, if anything it might help him come to his senses. At least that’s what Jimin was currently whispering with a mischievous smile on his lips. “It’ll be fine, I’ll make sure you don’t black out and get home safe. Who knows, you might get plastered enough to drunk text your confession.”
Jungkook glares at his friend, not liking the goofy look on his face as he starts to laugh. “I swear to god, you better not let me get to that point. Take my phone away from me.”
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Jimin obviously wants to see the world burn, or at least he enjoys it when Jungkook somehow digs himself into his own grave. That's exactly why he responds with a million laughing emojis when Jungkook texts him asking why the hell he hadn’t taken his phone last night. 
He did a good job hiding his shock when a knock came from his front door, half expecting it to be you, keeping a smile on his face as he allowed  the person who was very clearly not you in before swiftly entering his bathroom. Jungkook wants to stay locked here forever, holed up while he sits on his toilet and not in the living room with company. It wasn’t like it was bad company either, his drunken ass going through his contact list and sending an invitation to hangout the following day to the last person he spoke to, Aillie. 
The girl is sweet, someone he had a casual fling with for months, someone who was used to his random texts so she doesn’t think twice before agreeing. The only silver lining to this was that he hadn’t sent you a typo-filled drunken confession, which is what Jimin responds with before telling him to suck it up and leave his bathroom. 
Jungkook accepts his fate, as well as accepting that he is partially responsible for this. He shoves his device back into his pockets before standing up and flushing the toilet for show, washing his hands just to stall. One good glance at his reflection makes him cringe, stained shirt and sweats combo leaves him looking like the unprepared mess he is. Another detour through his room to change was a must before he has no choice but to step back out. 
“You’re totally hung over aren’t you?” Aillie jokes from her spot on the couch, comfortable enough in his apartment from the time spent here. She locks her phone as she stands up, taking her time to really look Jungkook over. He was not dressed like someone who was expecting a guest, and despite having seen Jungkook at his sloppiest, his previous attire of oversized shirt and slightly stained sweatpants didn’t look like someone who was expecting a fuck buddy to pop over. Even with his new outfit looking more put together, it was obvious Jungkook was caught off guard by her showing up. 
“What?” Jungkook dumbly asks, trying to come up with some lame excuse to justify his earlier appearance but he falls short. His fingers gently rake through his hair, a grimace falling on his face as he looks back up at her. “Actually, a little. Sorry, I got drunk last night when I text you so sober me was not really prepared.”
“Yeah I figured, you sent me some blurry selfies right after. But we can just hang, we don’t have to do anything,” she trails off, a soft smile on her lips. The only time they ever hung out was to hook up, having ten minute conversations before and after the fact. “Or I can leave too if it's weird that I’m here.” 
Jungkook is shaking his head before she can even finish, already feeling bad enough after texting her to come over. How shitty would he be if he immediately kicked her out. This was fine, a nice distraction from it all, decent middle ground that would help him get his mind off you without having to take Jimin’s douchebag advice. 
“No, we can watch a movie or something. It’s not like I have other plans.” Had this been two weeks ago it would be a totally different story. Jungkook would typically be waiting in his apartment as he stared at the slowly ticking clock, just waiting for it to strike 7:30 because that's when you usually got home. Then he’d either get a text from you to come over with snacks or you’d show up at his door and invite yourself over for the weekly game night. 
It didn’t happen last week, or the week prior, so Jungkook is very confident that it would not be happening today either. It’s that same sense of confidence—and saltiness—that allows him to get comfortable with Aillie, blissfully unaware that you had just pulled into the parking garage a few stories below. 
“I swear to god if you don’t go straight to his door the minute you get off the elevator I will never let you live it down.” Seulgi’s voice fills your car through the speakers, fading out as you shut the car off and bring your phone to your ear to continue the conversation. 
“Dude, I just got off work. I need to make myself look decent.” Plastic bags rustle together as you grab the snacks you had picked up on your way home, all full of yours and Jungkook's favorite treats. It was definitely a guilt fueled purchase, hoping the items were enough to distract him from the fact that you were kind of a bitch for ghosting him recently, or at least butter him up into accepting your apology easier. 
“You think Jungkook cares if you’re a little sweaty from work? He’s a grown man, that’s not gonna stop him from going do—“
“Okay, goodbye!” You hastily cut her off as you press the elevator button, hearing her rambling off about being interrupted. “I’m about to get on the elevator, I’ll tell you how it goes.”
With a small sigh you hang up and stuff the device into your purse, stepping onto the lift as the doors open up and pressing the number for your floor. Your hands are clammy as you grip the plastic bag, uncharacteristically nervous about seeing Jungkook again after so long. 
The main obstacle for you to get over was apologizing for being a crappy friend, and if that went well you were going to suck it up and just come out and confess, the odds of him saying no were slim. And even if he did, you’re perfectly content with staying friends, as long as you could keep him close. 
It’s that same optimistic mentality that allows you to calm down as you enter your place and decide to give yourself a minute to mentally prepare. His favorite ice cream gets put into the freezer for later before you decide to shower and give yourself a pep talk the entire time. 
This pep talk of yours is filled with best case scenarios: Jungkook accepting the confession with open arms, finally being able to kiss him properly, everything falling into place the way it should have a long time ago. And as you head over, totally sober, freshly washed, looking and smelling your best, you really can’t picture this going any other way. 
With a deep breath you’re knocking on his front door, quickly pulling back your hand and wiping it onto your pants as you step back. Jungkook hears the knock clearly from his spot on the couch, his gaze tearing away from the television to stare at his front door with a small frown. He hadn’t ordered any food and Aillie had just excused herself to use his bathroom so his brain is having a hard time wondering who it could be. 
He curses under his breath, not putting it past himself to have texted a second person last night with an invitation to hang out. Why was Jungkook a friendly drunk?
As he presses his eye against the peephole and spots you standing there, he thinks he’s imagining things. It had seemed like so long since he had last seen you in person, and the warped fish-eyed version of you has him stepping back and rubbing his eyes before taking another glance. He suddenly feels like throwing up, and he can’t blame his earlier hangover on it. 
For a brief second he contemplates pretending he hadn’t heard you, but the guilt of doing so makes his heart twist, so he musters up the courage to open the door. It’s barely a crack really, just enough for you to see him while still concealing his apartment, something you definitely found strange because you’re usually flinging the door open and strutting right in, but you suppose his reaction is warranted considering your previous behavior. 
“Y/N, hey. Are you alright?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine!” Your fingers tangle together in front of you, not entirely sure what to do with your nerves and Jungkook spots it easily. His own nerves sky rocket when he hears the sound of running water coming from his bathroom a few feet away, knowing Aillie would most likely pop out any second now, and he’s not sure why it feels like a dirty secret that he has another girl over. 
“Did you need something?”
“Yeah, I was actually wanting to talk to you about something kind of important.” Your smile is hopeful, despite the nerves swirling in your eyes. The nervous skip of your heart is felt in your throat, not remembering the last time you had felt this way about telling someone how you felt about them romantically. 
“Right now?” he wonders, fingers gripping the door handle tighter when he hears his bathroom door unlock, the sound of footsteps rounding the corner before stepping into the living room, a few feet away from the door and in perfect view of the wedge Jungkook had opened. 
When your eyes flicker over his shoulder, spotting the auburn haired girl giving you a curious glance, you feel all your confidence slip away. Seulgi had definitely been right about needing to confess soon, Jungkook was a catch and just because you hadn’t realized it sooner didn’t mean the rest of the world was blind to it. 
“Yeah, right now...but you’re busy, so it’s fine!” You want to scramble away from there, feeling dumb the longer you stand there. Jungkook wants to say he’s not busy, kick the girl out of his place and invite you in but that wouldn’t be fair to her, for all he knew your important conversation would be a repeat of the conversation you had over Hajoon, and he really didn't want to get friendship dumped while this girl was in his apartment. He’s pretty sure his Yelp rating would drop a bit if he cried on the couch about you to his old hook up. 
He starts to speak but you cut him off before he can, “Don’t worry about it! I’ll see you later.” You force a smile before walking away, not allowing him to get a word in as you quickly step into your apartment and move to the furthest room away from your bedroom. 
You can feel the cold of your kitchen floor as you sit on your butt, back against your cabinets, the small twinge of defeat spreading within you. “This is fine. Maybe she’s just a friend. I can always tell him tomorrow,” you whisper out. But your fingers seem to think otherwise as they type out a message to Seulgi, informing her that the mission was unsuccessful and you’d be putting on The Notebook like you always did. It was basically protocol to do so when things went south in your life. 
She doesn’t even know how to console you, knowing she can’t tell you it was his loss or that he wasn’t worth it because she knows that’d be a lie and you wouldn’t believe it for a second. The only thing she can offer is coming over, but you’re quick to turn her down, deciding that being alone in the comfort of your bed as you inhaled the ice cream you bought for Jungkook would be best. 
Is being in your room the wisest choice when you know you share a wall with Jungkook—and he has a cute girl over? No. Probably not. But you figure if you hear anything explicit it’s just your dose of karma, so you accept it, turning up the volume of the movie a few levels just to soften the blow. 
However, Jungkook would definitely not be hooking up with her in his bedroom, or anywhere in his apartment for that matter. Luckily Aillie is blessed with the gift of reading the damn room and can easily spot the shift in Jungkook’s mood the second he shuts the door. She’s sitting on the edge of the couch now, hands gently placed on her knees as she gives him a sympathetic smile. 
“I get the vibe that somethings off.”
He looks up at her then, slowing his pace until he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of the room with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “My friend—my neighbor just wanted to talk about something. But everything’s fine.”
The lie tastes bitter on his tongue, and Aillie doesn’t believe him in the slightest. A small sigh fills the air as she stands up, collecting her bag and approaching him. “Look, I know deep talks really aren’t our thing so I’m not going to even try to dive into this, but you should go talk to your friend.”
A comforting hand is placed on his shoulder before she makes her way to the door to leave, Jungkook already following closely behind her. “No, you don’t have to go. You came all this way because I texted you with way too much tequila in my system.”
“Jungkook,” she laughs, opening the door with a smile. “You’re way too sweet for your own good. It was nice seeing you though.” Her eyes slowly move over to your front door before looking back at him, head cocking to the side in a very clear indication that he better go over. He can only nod in understanding, waving her goodbye and shutting the door once she heads down to the elevator. 
The action sounds of the movie they were watching continues to fill his apartment, whatever chaos was going on only making his brain whirl so he’s quick to grab the remote and shut it off entirely. Now he’s just stuck in complete silence, wondering if he should quickly make his way over to yours or play it calm and collected. 
The total silence allows him to hear the muffled mumbling of a movie he knew all too well. It draws him in, lures him into his bedroom until he’s kneeling on the mattress with his ear pressed against the wall to properly make it out. You were watching the Notebook, at a concerning volume, which could mean a number of things. Jungkook knew none of them were good, usually rooted in issues you had with your ex, or a tough day at work, or any particular day where you just felt like crying. 
With a deep breath, he’s slowly knocking along his wall, almost experimentally, hoping it's enough to grab your attention through the current scene playing. For a second he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep while watching the film, but then the room falls silent as you pause it entirely. 
Your hearts racing now, ears straining to hear anything else and hoping this wasn’t how the beginning of the explicit noises would start, but then another knock comes from behind you. It makes you gasp, like you’ve just been caught being the nosey neighbor you are, hearing the soft scrape of his hand sliding down the wall. The ice cream gets put onto your nightstand as you sit up properly, forcing yourself out of the mountain of pillows you were practically suffocating in and turning around to knock back.
Jungkook’s palm presses back onto the wall, smiling at your response before fishing his phone out of his pocket. His fingers find your thread of messages, further down the list than he was used to, and as he opens them up and sees the string of unanswered texts dating back to two weeks ago, it stings just like it did before. He pushes his pride aside though, knowing you had wanted to talk today in person, so he proceeds to quadruple text you. 
Jungkook 8:44pm : are you seriously watching the notebook again?
You’re unlocking your phone the second it buzzes, smiling at the dimly lit screen before typing out a response. 
Y/N 8:45pm : shut up, it’s my comfort movie
Y/N 8:45pm : do you wanna watch it with me? for old times sake
The device is locked and placed face down onto your sheets the second you hit send, sinking into the pillows once again as you try not to scream at yourself because you know he’ll hear you. Why would you invite him over when he clearly has company? You had seen her with your own eyes, had seen how cute she is, had seen how cute Jungkook is, it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 
Jungkook is quick though, texting back in agreement and heading over instantly. If you were watching your comfort movie then Jungkook wanted to make sure you were okay. Putting the past two weeks behind him, knowing you’d most likely have a good enough explanation—an explanation he would definitely be needing before the night was over—he’s knocking on your door before you can even check your messages. 
It takes you a minute to untangle your limbs from your covers as you hastily try to get to your door, sock clad feet sliding along your wooden floors when you finally yank the door open. Jungkook wears a soft smile as he stares down at you, taking note that you had switched your outfit to your usual sad movie binge attire of baggy shirt and lounge shorts. His eyes zero in on your lips when he notices there's something lingering at the corner of them. 
“So, are you gonna share whatever the hell that is?” His finger points at it smugly, laughing when your tongue peeks out to wipe it away. 
“It was actually meant to be for you.” Stepping aside, you let him enter your place. Jungkook almost feels a little strange being here after the weird few weeks, but he pushes it aside, just wanting things to feel normal. 
“Does that mean there’s no more left?” His eyes playfully narrow at you as you step closer, moving on to stare at the kitchen table, and the coffee table in search of the tub of ice cream that supposedly had his name on it. The earlier nerves you felt slowly fade away when you realize he’s not visibly upset about what happened, but it only makes your guilt deepen that despite your ability to be a crummy friend, Jungkook would still try his best to come through for you. 
“There’s about half of it left, it’s probably a little soft now though.” You side step him to enter the kitchen, grabbing an extra spoon and handing it over as a peace treaty, smiling when he gratefully accepts it. “C’mon, I paused the movie.”
Jungkook is not a stranger to your bedroom, especially when sappy movies were playing, finding his spot easily on the right side where he typically handed you tissues whenever you cried. The tissues were missing this time, in place of them being the bag of snacks you had bought, his ice cream on the other nightstand. 
“What part are you on?” he asks, settling onto the bed after fluffing up the pillows, waving his hands so you could pass the tub of ice cream his way. 
“It just started raining on the boat.” Jungkook hums, scooping out some of the chocolate ice cream and into his mouth. He knew this scene very well, and when you press play, he mentally repeats all of the lines. Just as Noah declares he wrote her 365 letters, you awkwardly clear your throat, your own spoon slowly sneaking over to his side to steal some ice cream for yourself. 
“I’m sorry if I made things awkward with your date.” Your voice sounds timid, something he’s not used to hearing from you at all, so he chuckles, laughing harder when you swat at his arm. “I’m serious, I should have texted you before just showing up.”
“Really? When have you ever done that before?” The two of you never notified the other when they wanted to show up, Jungkook had even given you the code to his place once when he was at work and you were desperate for some fruity pebbles—you used that code to your advantage and Jungkook never hated it. But all things considered, it's fair why you think you would have to give him a heads up. 
“You didn’t make it awkward though.” It’s not the complete truth, you coming over is what had made Aillie decide to leave, but Jungkook had to take most of the credit for it. “I kinda made it awkward from the beginning.”
“Why, what happened?”
“I went out last night with Jimin“ —you immediately hum in understanding, knowing very well how convincing Jimin could be with alcohol— “and apparently I texted her to hang out today, had no recollection, so when she showed up I was definitely not ready.”
“Damn, this is how I know you’re a better person than I am. If that happened to me, the second I checked my peephole and saw someone I didn’t remember inviting over, I’m gonna pretend I’m not home.”
“Yeah well, she lives like an hour away so I’d feel like an ass if I did that. Don’t think I’ll be talking to her again any time soon though.” He sighs in thought, gently tapping his spoon on the surface of the softening ice cream. There was one thing weighing heavy on his mind, needing to know what important thing you had to talk to him about, wondering if you were actually going to friendship dump him earlier and he had just made it worse by coming over and hanging out like old times. 
He doesn’t want to come right out and ask it though, not wanting to set himself up for an awkward conversation in case that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about, so he settles for something safe enough that would allow him to get a glimpse. 
“So how are things with Hoseok?” Yeah, that’s a good start. 
“Huh?” Your spoon freezes in its spot, face clearly looking confused in the dim glow of the television, the movie long forgotten now that you were speaking. 
“Tinder guy? Yellow sunglasses guy that gave you mono?” 
It suddenly clicks again, having forgotten all about Jung Hoseok the second you had gotten home from the failed date and came to terms with your feelings. Your lie of having a cold must have been believable enough for Jungkook to genuinely think he had given you something like mono. 
“He didn’t give me mono!” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a playful smile, humming along like he totally believes you. “But I didn’t tell you?”
He frowns as he stares at you, not entirely sure how to take your tone. “Tell me what? That you’re engaged and the wedding is in June?”
“No way,” you laugh, swatting his spoon away with a clank as you grab some ice cream before shoving it in your mouth, fighting against the brain freeze to continue speaking. “Our date was a bust.”
“How? Was it that bad?” He desperately wanted to know, having convinced himself the date had gone spectacularly well and you were now an exclusive item. The small twinge of guilt is felt when he realizes he’s a little too happy that the date had been a failure, but he allows himself to have this small, tiny victory. 
“Mm, it was so good it was bad.” He looks utterly confused, and you don’t blame him, so you elaborate. “He was this perfect gentleman who just wanted to play games, like to the point where he had a notebook where he was tallying our points, and then he walked me to my car and kissed my cheek goodbye.”
“Oh the horror!” Jungkook gasps, setting his spoon down to clutch his heart in dramatics. “How dare he try to romance you with a game night.”
“Jungkook, shut up!” you laugh, finally feeling like everything was right again, sitting in bed with your closest friend as you teased each other. “Look, I’ll give him some credit. The date was nice, he was not the sleazy douchebag his profile made him out to be, and I’m sure he’ll find the perfect girl for him on Tinder. But he clearly wanted something serious and—“
“And you don’t want that right now. It’s fair.” Of course you would turn him down, you had just decided to embark on this new adventure in the single world. It was kind of dumb for Jungkook to assume one date with Tinder Boy would be enough for you to give up your short lived dream. 
You take a steady breath at his words before taking another scoop of ice cream, lips wrapped around the spoon as you slowly pull it out of your mouth. The nerves are trickling back in, making your heart skip and your eyes bounce around. If you don’t come out and say it now, you know you never will. 
Your spoon joins his in the tub of ice cream before you decide to move it back to the nightstand, forcing yourself to look back at him, seeing him turned away as he rummages through the plastic bag full of snacks. “I don’t want that with him.”
Jungkook freezes, the rustling of plastic ceases as his hands come back to his sides and he turns back around. With him. He was the king of jumping to worse case scenarios so his brain has no issues coming to this very horrible conclusion. 
“Have you been talking to Hajoon again?”
“No, Jungkook I haven’t.”
“Are you sure? I’m saying this now, but if you get back with him I will not hesitate to pop him in the face if I run into him in the halls. It’s fair game out there, neutral territory for him to get his ass beat—“
“It’s you.”
His brain short circuits at that, mini versions of himself currently running around and screaming in his head as he tries to make sense of this. The first instinct he has is to crack a joke, to say that he hadn’t been talking to Hajoon again, and laugh it off. But you look a little too vulnerable right now, eyes nervously looking at him and then looking away at his lingering silence. 
“Wait, what?” It’s the only thing he can sputter out, caught off guard by your words, not wanting to say anything else in case the world was cruel enough for him to have completely misheard you. 
“I don’t want that with Tinder Boy or Hajoon, I want it with you.” It gets a little easier saying it a second time, but his reaction is hard to gauge. You had been expecting him to reciprocate the confession instantly, but the longer he looked shocked only made you think that you and Seulgi had been seriously wrong about his supposed crush. 
Jungkook is having a difficult time trying to go from you ghosting him to you suddenly admitting to liking him, the change in emotions not allowing him to say anything he had practiced in the mirror for so long. He can’t come out and give you a speech about how he thinks you’re the one, how you’re obviously a good match together, brain too focused on other details. “How long have you known this?”
“For the past two weeks, but deep down I know it’s been longer.”
His wide eyes glance over at you now, everything slowly clicking into place. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“Yes,” you mumble, embarrassed over the way you had acted. The last time you had avoided someone was in elementary school, having a best friend go ask your crush if he likes you while you hid in the bathroom, scared of the answer. “I like you Jungkook and I knew I wouldn’t be able to play it cool. I was scared to say something and have you not feel the same and then have our friendship be weird.”
Jungkook smiles in that adorable way you love, nose scrunching up cutely as he leans closer, large palms coming to cup your cheeks. He has wanted to hear this for so long, and sure, maybe it wasn’t some super romantic confession over a candlelit dinner like he had occasionally dreamed of, but this felt right. 
“You’re so stupid,” he whispers out, thumb softly caressing your cheek as he chuckles, feeling the way your lips turn into a frown at his harmless insult. 
“Jungkook, I’m being serious,” you whine, heart still pounding in your chest. Your hands come up to gently wrap around his wrists, allowing him to continue to squish your cheeks with that endearing look on his face. 
“I’m being serious too Y/N. Did you really think I wouldn’t feel the same?” Jungkook did everything he did with you out of pure friendliness, never expecting to get something in return from it, but there was a small sprinkling of a crush in every one of his actions. “I like you too, and I have for a really long time.”
The relief you feel comes instantly, lips slowly pulling into a smile when you finally have the confidence to look directly into his eyes again. If this is how light you feel after the two weeks spent freaking out, you can only imagine how Jungkook feels. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Now, can I please kiss you?” You’re nodding the second the question leaves his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as his hands glide down to cup your jaw, soft lips slowly pressing against yours. It’s a gentle smack of skin as he pulls back, a smirk on his lips when he opens his eyes, softly rubbing his nose against yours. 
“Wait,” he breathes out, chuckling softly. “Is he still looking?” He has the nerve to repeat the same question that had been the root of your guilt, and when your eyes shoot open and glare at him, he can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out. 
“I hate you,” you mutter out, not an ounce of truth behind it. 
“Mm, no you don’t.” 
His lips find yours again, falling into a steady rhythm, softer and less rushed than the first kiss you had shared at the club. There’s no pounding bass in the background, or the taste of liquor on your lips, but Jungkook prefers it this way. He likes the low hum of the movie continuing to play in the background, the sweetness of the ice cream lingering on your lips when his tongue gently swipes at the seam of them, the way your hands slowly slide around his neck as he deepens each kiss. 
With each shared breath, you slide further down your bed, pulling Jungkook down with you until he’s hovering directly above you. His knees dig into the sheets, one hand pressed beside your head to keep himself stable as you urge him even closer to you. The delicate golden chain he wears kisses your skin, pendant settling onto your chest, the cool sensation is almost enough to distract you as his tongue slowly slips into your mouth. Jungkook groans when you let out a small gasp, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently at the strands by the nape of his neck. 
He wants to remember this kiss instead of the one from the club, embed every gasp you let out into his brain, the way your chest pushes up to feel more of him, how your hands slide down his back, leaving a fiery trail in their path that makes Jungkook shiver. And when you slide your thighs further apart for him, innocently at first, he can’t help it when his lips freeze on yours as you slowly roll your hips upwards. It gives him the same automatic reaction he had gotten at the club, all the blood rushing to his cock instantly, except this time he doesn’t feel the shame he had felt before. There was no ulterior motive to what you were doing, sincerity shown in your confession, shared within each kiss, so Jungkook allows himself to bask in the want he feels for you.
“Y/N,” he groans out when you repeat the action, pulling away from your swollen lips to stare at you through hooded eyes. You’re licking your lips over as your eyes slowly open, a small glimmer evident in them as you tilt your head and pretend to not know what you’re doing.
“What?” you question, leaning up to kiss the edge of his mouth, giggling when he attempts to chase your lips as you pull back, choosing to kiss down his jaw instead. As your tongue gently trails along the side of his neck, you feel the harsh gulp he takes, his fingers bunching up in the sheets beside your head. His neck has always been a weak point for him, turning him into a puddle in seconds, you knew this from the unfiltered conversations you’ve had and it was something you were definitely going to be using to your advantage. 
“You’re doing this on purpose,” he grunts, eyes fluttering shut as you nip at his skin, a visible shiver racking through him. 
“Of course I am,” you hum, letting your hands roam his back, sliding around his front until you’re sneaking past the white fabric of his shirt. When your cool hands meet his skin, he tenses, the muscles on his stomach tightening up as your fingertips trail up his body. You’ve known Jungkook was well defined, lean and toned in all the best places, having seen him shirtless a few times. But being able to touch him like this, feel each stuttered breath and jump of his skin reacting to your touch fueled you. 
Jungkook knows you can feel the racing of his heart now, your palms flat on his chest, each thrum revealing his emotions despite the cool and calm exterior he was trying to have. His hips lower towards yours, resisting the urge to rut into you as you start to suck on his skin. The low hum you let out vibrates against his neck, mixed in with the feeling of your wet lips, and he knows he’s done for. The final blow comes in the form of you swiping your tongue at the blossomed hickey, sweet voice pulling him back to earth as you look at him once more. “I want you Jungkook.”
Oh god, he couldn’t do this. His face pulls into a grimace, begging himself to not instantly cum in his pants at what you just said. How many times has he fantasized about this? Hoped you’d beg him for anything in that same exact voice, dreamed of you kissing and sucking on his skin like you currently were. Jungkook isn’t sure any amount of mental preparation would be enough for this. 
“Say that again please.”
You giggle, finger pushing back a strand of his hair as it falls over his face, tucking it behind his ear. The normal doe eyed look you were accustomed to is nowhere to be found, pupils blown out in lust as he stares at you. Being on the receiving end of this stare fills your stomach with butterflies, the flapping of their wings intensifying as he nudges his nose into yours. 
“I want you.” It’s breathless, spoken so softly through the background noise like a personal secret just for him. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of hearing you say it, that much is proven true when you repeat it in between kisses, trailing back up his neck in the same path you had taken until you're speaking the words directly against his lips. He swallows them down greedily, groaning into your mouth when his tongue tangles with yours once more. 
“Fuck, you can have me baby.” He chuckles against your mouth when you start to tug at his shirt, yanking the thin material until he has to pull back and slip the tee off himself. The balled fabric gets tossed aside without a care, dark swirls of ink on his arm fully revealed now, each tattoo reminding you of how long you’ve known him, remembering the two pieces that he had when you first met. When he leans back over you, taking his time trailing kisses down your neck, onto your chest until his own hands are slowly tugging your shirt off of you, you decide there’s other things to focus on besides his glorious tattoos.
“Ah, Jungkook,” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair when he kisses the swells of your breast, warm tongue sliding over your nipple before his lips are wrapping around it. His large palm gropes the other, thumb flicking over the pebbled bud, smirking when you push your chest further out for him.
“What baby?” He pulls back to blow a gust of cool air on your nipple, the wetness of his saliva making your skin break out into goosebumps. 
“No teasing.”
Jungkook’s laughing now, eyes peering up at you through his lashes. “Oh, you think I’m not gonna tease you after what you did?” He tsks in disapproval as he continues to kiss down your torso, letting his hands trail down your sides, not stopping until he reaches the hem of your shorts. A kiss is placed above your navel as he pulls the shorts down your legs, toying with the waistband of your black underwear. “I’m gonna take my time with you.”
The build up before pleasure will always be your favorite part. The way his hands grip your thighs after tugging your underwear off, fingertips trailing up until his palm is pressing them further apart. It’s impossible to look at him now, the visual of his long hair framing his face as he starts to press wet kisses on your skin is too much to handle. You can feel the warm huff of air when he laughs as your head drops back onto the pillow once more, eyes slipping shut while you wait with anticipation. 
Jungkook wants to comment over how wet you are already, boost his own ego about being able to rile you up with just kissing, but he can see the way you’re already on edge, and he decides he can tease you some more later with what he has in store. Instead, he gives you what you’re mentally pleading him for. Finally pressing his soft lips to your folds, the short gasp you release as his tongue glides up before gently flicking across your clit has him shutting his own eyes, reveling in the way you react to his touch. 
His long fingers spread out your folds before he’s messily spitting onto them, watching the way the glob of saliva trickles down before he’s diving in, falling into the perfect pace with ease. It has your hips rutting up instantly, your hand uncurling its grip from your sheets to travel down your body and find its place tangled in his hair. Jungkook groans against your clit when your fingers grip tightly, yanking the dark strands as the prettiest moan flows out of you. 
“J-just like that, fuck,” you whimper, finally lifting your head up to stare down at him when he latches his lips around your clit and sucks. It sends a spark down your spine, stomach tensing at his rhythm, fully intent to have you fall apart. 
Jungkook wants to push you over the edge, knows he’s talented enough to get you there in record time—he was cocky in the best way—and the way your thighs tremble as he slowly sinks his finger into you proves his point. The slick coating your entrance allows a second finger to slip through with little resistance, a shuddering breath filling the air as he begins to spread his fingers apart, stretching you out in the most delicious way. 
It’s not until his fingers curl up, rubbing along the sweet patch inside of you and you moan out his name, that he realizes he has you right where he wants you. He can’t get himself to look up at you, to see the way your jaw drops as you plead for more. Jungkook knows if his eyes lock with yours too soon he’ll be too weak to be as cruel as he wants to be. 
The pleasure blooms inside you, hips rolling up into his in a way he welcomes, smirk spreading onto his lips when your moans get breathier. He eats you out with determination set in his brows, not satisfied until you’re tightening around his fingers, thighs threatening to close in on either side of his head. The messy way he slurps against you sends you reeling, rutting up into him with need, the wet thump of his fingers blending in with your moans of his name. 
“God, Jungkook, I’m gonna cum.” He believes you, eyes finally opening up to stare at you. The visual is enough to make his cock throb in his pants, your glassy eyed stare locked onto his, chest rising and falling in time with each choked breath. When he playfully winks at you, your walls pulse around him, seconds away from being pushed over the edge, and that’s when he pulls away. 
The warm glow of your orgasm approaching, just about to crest, gets ripped away from you instantly. It makes you gasp, thighs twitching as your hips attempt to push up back towards his mouth, but he’s having none of that. His shiny lips smile up at you innocently, head tilted to slowly kiss your trembling thighs, chuckling at the small cry of frustration you let out. 
“You taste good baby,” he hums, smooching the skin at the juncture of your thighs, circling around your clit without relieving the pressure you felt. The dull ache has your fingers releasing his hair in defeat, a frown etched onto your lips. 
“Jungkook, that’s mean,” you pant, sitting up and resting on your elbows to properly stare at him. 
“A little, but you deserved it don’t you think?” Jungkook didn’t want to tease you too much, he just wanted to get even for the past two weeks. “You could have had me between your thighs every single night if you would’ve said something soon, so I think you can be patient.”
A firm kiss is pressed to your swollen clit and it makes your whole body shudder, your head dropping back as you take a deep breath to control yourself. “I can’t be patient Kook,” you whine, head leveling back out to give him the most convincing stare you can muster. There's that crease between your brows that he likes when you pinch them together, hands gently raking through his hair, teeth pillowing out your lower lip as you bite down onto it. 
“Please, you can torture me later if you want but not now.” Your words have him cocking up his brow, hands once again gripping the meat of your thighs before he crawls back up your body. The feeling of his chain dragging up your skin has you shivering, breath catching in your throat when he hovers inches above you once more. 
“I’ll hold you to that,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before his hand slips between your thighs again. A groan reaches his ears as his fingers circle your clit, covered in your arousal and his saliva, gliding with ease as he works you back to your ruined orgasm. 
His lips find yours, swallowing down the moan you let out when he quickens his pace. You can taste yourself on his tongue, tangling with yours with more urgency than before, messy and desperate in a way that had more arousal gushing out of you. The earlier pleasure reignites inside you, your hands sliding around his neck to keep him close, kissing him with fervor, quiet moans and whimpers slipping past between each smack of your lips. 
“Jungkook,” you barely manage to squeal, a few more flicks needed to finally push you over the edge. Your lips are slick with spit as you pull back, jaw slack as you lose yourself in the feeling, and Jungkook easily bookmarks this into his brain to go back to and daydream of whenever he’s bored at work. Your eyes are squeezed shut as the feeling flows through you, not able to see how Jungkook stares at you in awe. 
“Holy shit,” he whispers, slowly pulling his hand away when you keen at the sensitivity, thighs twitching on the sheets as the pleasure rolls through you in waves. You’re looking up just in time to see him slip his messy fingers into his mouth, tongue licking them clean and savoring the taste of you. Just as he slides them back out, your fingers wrap around his wrist and lead them directly into your mouth, sinking onto them with your eyes locked on his own. 
Jungkook’s cock jumps in its confines when you suck, tip of your tongue circling his fingertips before popping them back out with a smirk. There’s a brief moment of shock on his features before he’s jumping into action, quickly unbuttoning his jeans in haste that left you giggling on your sheets. 
“What happened to patience?” you tease, laughing harder when he pauses with one foot stuck in the hole of his jeans, a playful glare thrown your way. 
“Oh, now you want patience?” He kicks his pants the rest of the way off, slowly shuffling towards you as he stands beside the bed in just his boxers. Your hands make grabby motions for him, reaching for the waistband of his underwear to tug them down, licking your lips over as his cock springs out. It bobs in the air for a second, thick and heavy, precum collecting at the tip with the prettiest veins on the underside of it. Of course Jungkook and his pretty privilege would have a dick worthy of leaving you speechless. 
Jungkook allows you to ogle at him, confidently wrapping his palm around the base of his cock, hissing slightly at the sensation as he looks down at it, allowing spit to accumulate behind his lips before a string of it escapes and lands right onto his length to help the glide of his palm. Your eyes widen at the sight, hand replacing his as he guides your motions, giving an experimental squeeze and enjoying how his abs tense up. 
“I’ve been patient for a long time Y/N. You said you want me right?” You’re nodding instantly, eyes looking away from his shiny length to stare up at him. “How do you want me?”
“Jungkook, just get over here.” He doesn’t resist when you let go of his cock, hands gripping his arm to yank him back onto the bed in a clumsy heap. His legs are a tangled mess, nearly ramming his forehead with yours from the force, shared laughter filling the air as you situate yourself. Jungkook had pictured this a thousand times and this is exactly how he imagined it, full of soft kisses, hushed laughter and goofy smiles, playfulness mixed in with lust all coming together perfectly to make the two of you. 
As he settles between your thighs, your sodden folds inches from his length, you can see the look on his face as his eyes glance in between both of your nightstands. Already knowing the question that was about to spill out, you beat him to the punch. “You don’t need one, if you don’t want to. I’m on birth control, and haven’t been with anyone since…” you trail off, not needing to specify.
Jungkook tries not to look too excited, really, but it’s hard. Every one of his lewd fantasies had involved being able to feel you entirely, and if your thoughts from that night were anything to go by, you definitely want the same. It takes him a second to speak, having to swallow properly to prevent himself from choking on his saliva and embarrassing himself in front of you. “I’m clean, I promise.”
“I trust you,” you smile, biting down onto your bottom lip as he fists his cock, slowly leading it to your dripping center. His free hand rests on your inner thigh, softly palming the skin as the head of his cock nudges against your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscles and into your heat. With his gaze locked down to where you connect, he sees inch by inch sink into you, finally bottoming out with a shared gasp.
Jungkook leans over you properly now, hand sliding up to lace with yours as the other rests beside your head, just taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of your velvety walls wrapped tightly around his cock. You welcome the stretch, the curve of his length inside you, how he cages you in with his body, eyes full of want staring directly at you, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze because he knows he can’t properly form a sentence right now. 
“Fuck me, please.” With his hips pressed flush against yours, he’s slowly inching back, letting you get used to his size with each thrust. It doesn’t take long before he’s rearing back entirely, thrusting forward with a wet squelch, corner of his lips curling up into a smirk when you moan out his name. Your hand curls around his shoulder, fingers digging into his back to keep yourself steady from the force of his hips. 
Each time the head of his cock would nudge against your bundle of nerves, your nails would sink into his skin, leaving half moon indents that left him groaning in pleasure. Jungkook hadn’t outright told you, but it had become increasingly obvious that he has a slight kink for pain, practically mewling above you as you scratch his back, fucking you with more determination than before. 
“You feel so good,” he rasps, slotting his lips with yours in a messy kiss. The back of your headboard starts to rattle against the wall, bouncing back in time with his hips, and it brings you back to the filthy thoughts you had before. How often you’d hear the same sounds on the opposite side, mixing in with the sharpness of skin connecting together, and you want it. So badly.
“J-jungkook,” you breathe out, letting him pepper more kisses onto you, hips never slowing down. “Can you do something for me?” The tone you use, coated in sugar so sweet he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.
“Anything.”
It’s hard to concentrate on anything else while his cock continues to fuck into you, turning your mind into mush each time he sunk all the way in. He can see the way you try to focus, eyes falling shut with the cutest pout on your kiss swollen lips, finally grabbing onto the reigns of your mind as you spit it out. “Wanna feel you—fuck—spank me, please.”
Only then do his hips slow down, cock throbbing inside of you, fighting the urge to cum before fulfilling your request. The only confirmation that he was agreeing, wholeheartedly, comes when he pulls out of you, moving too quickly for you to protest at the loss of contact. The room spins for a second as his hands grip onto your hips and flip you over with ease, palms gripping the globes of your ass and softly patting them with a chuckle.
“Of course baby,” he murmurs, hooking his arm underneath your stomach to haul you up onto your knees, allowing you to steady yourself before he’s sliding into you once again. The change in position has you keening, his cock sinking deeper than before, the wetness dripping out of you helping him maintain the earlier pace he had. Your hands fist the sheets beneath you, back arching in ecstasy as he hits your g-spot with precision, a tiny shriek of his name making him smile.
Jungkook keeps you on edge, strong hands gripping the skin of your hips tightly, mouth dropping open while he pants at the way you pulse around his cock, leaving it coated in your slick. His hand slides down to your ass, a gentle touch being your only warning before he’s pulling his hand back and delivering a swift slap to your skin. Your reaction is immediate, an unrestrained moan sounding like music to his ears. The sharp sting spreads directly to your core, your head bowing forward as you mentally beg him for more, your wish being granted seconds later when he repeats it on the other side.
If the wet sounds of his cock fucking you weren’t filthy enough, the added slap of his palm across your ass definitely topped it off. Jungkook had never seen you so needy, thighs coated in your arousal, gushing around him each time he spanked you until you were creaming his cock. The greedy way your walls suck him in, wanting him closer, deeper than ever, left him mesmerized. 
His hand soothes the dull throb on your skin, a trembling breath reaching his ears as he leans over your back, lips kissing up your spine up until reaching your shoulder. Hot pants of breath hit your skin, making you shiver as his lips trail along the edge of your ear. “Feel good?”
“Y-yes,” you mewl, voice trembling from the pleasure, rutting your hips in time with his. 
Jungkook’s way of love was a breath of fresh air for you, rough enough to exhilarate you, the force of his hips leaving you scrambling for purchase to prevent you from face planting onto the sheets, gripping onto your hair and tugging it back with enough force to make your body tingle. But it was intertwined with adoration, sweet praise whispered into your ear, lacing his fingers with yours to let you feel secure.
“You’re never getting rid of me baby,” he groans out. The low rasp in his voice makes you tremble, neck straining from his grip in your hair but the burn feels too good to pull away. His small confession has your heart skipping, eyes slipping shut to bask in the overwhelming feeling surrounding you.
“Good,” you manage to pant, “would never dream of it.” After four years of friendship, the beginning stages of getting to know each other, figuring out the right ways to flow with your different personalities, it's all out of the way now, so it’s incredibly easy for you to picture a steady future with him. The breakfast gossiping, shameless club outings, chaotic game nights with snacks thrown at each other, you want everything you already have with him and more. What you have, so rooted in sincerity, built off mutual respect for each other, blossoming into love so pure, you can’t imagine having this with anyone else.
“Y/N,” he gasps, the pulsing of your walls bringing him closer to his climax. “I’m close.”
You can only hum in agreement, burying your face into your pillow when he releases the grip he has in your hair, nipples rubbing against the sheets in time with his thrusts, the sensitivity sending sparks throughout you. Both his hands grip your hips again, dimpling the skin as he quickens his pace, the tantalizing roll of his hips intent to send you over before him. His eyes trail over the curve of your back, how you arch it further to feel more of him, sliding down to your ass, seeing the way it bounces back with each snap of his hips, how you weakly rut back onto him, pussy clamping around his length as your orgasm approached. 
Jungkook slides his hand around you, trailing across your tummy before slipping between your thighs to the spot you needed him most. Even with your face buried in the sheets, the moan you let out is loud enough for Jungkook to hear perfectly, body shuddering as he flicks across your clit in tight circles.  
“Kook, I’m cumming—fuck,” you shout out, white heat enveloping your body as you get sent over the edge. Your mind blanks for a minute, the intensity of your orgasm crashing over you so suddenly, making your limbs tense up while every nerve ending lights up. The only thing you can think of is him, chanting out your name while you pulse around him, sweet words coaxing you through your high, thumb rubbing along the skin of your hips as he never slows his pace. 
As he fucks you through it, groaning out at how tight your walls are around him, you have to turn your head to gasp in a breath, face feeling hot from it all. You can feel how sweaty your skin has become, the back of your neck feeling sticky as your turn to get a glimpse of him, body still shuddering from the aftershocks. 
Jungkook doesn’t have a care for his own volume now, moaning unabashedly as he pistons his hips into you with less grace than before. The soft mewls of overstimulation you let out just bring him closer to his release, thrusts getting sloppier as the pleasure takes over him. 
“Fuck, baby-” he grunts out, mouth dropping open as he moans even louder, finally falling apart. He pushes further into you, head falling forward as his hips press flushed against your ass, warm spurts of his cum filling you up in a way that fulfills your dirtiest fantasies. A few more shallow thrusts has the two of you gasping, hearts pounding in your chests, coming down slowly as he finally stills.
A serene silence falls over you, the movie long turned off in the background, only the low glow of the television letting you know it was still on. With great hesitation, Jungkook finally pulls out of you, gulping when he sees the thick globs of cum spill from your core, dripping down your thighs before landing on the sheets in a sinful mess. Your sheets are well and truly ruined, Jungkook would honestly suggest tossing them in the trash judging by the damp spot directly beneath you.
With a small groan, you’re flopping fully onto your stomach, thighs no longer able to keep yourself up, the exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungkook chuckles when he hears you, soothing your back with a gentle massage. “You’re not sleeping in here babe.”
“Why not,” you slur, cheek pressed against your pillow, eyes already shut. All you wanted to do was lay here, preferably with his arms wrapped around you, but Jungkook clearly has other plans. 
“Because it’s disgusting,” he laughs, giving you a few more seconds of rest before he’s moving around. The dip in the bed lets you know he’s gotten off, one eye peeking open to search for him, seeing him gathering his belongings from the floor.
“Where are you going?”
He shimmies back into his clothes with a grimace, gathering your own items before approaching you once more. “We are going next door and sleeping in my totally clean bed, c’mon.”
You only put up a fight for a second, secretly enjoying the way he helps you get dressed in your earlier clothes, heart swelling in your chest at how domestic it all feels. The mess in your room would have to be dealt with another day, the only important item being the ice cream that finds its way back into the freezer as you both head out of your apartment and swiftly enter his next door.
He’s just as delicate and careful in the shower, taking turns cleaning each other, large hands gripping your ass and giggling like a child when you wince at the small throb of pain you feel. Soft kisses are shared under the showerhead, warm water soothing your body as the room fogs up, sweet confessions scribbled on the glass in his messy writing, topped off with a heart. Jungkook stops you before you can wipe it away, shyly telling you that he’d like to see it reappear the next time he showers.
His bedroom was one you weren’t too familiar with, used to lounging in his living room the most, so as he settles into his bed after getting cozy in his pajamas, you wait for him to call you over before joining him. The coolness of his sheets has you sighing, snuggling into his side with a smile on your lips, one that Jungkook sees as he stares down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Seeing you draped in his clothes, cuddled up beside him in a way you’ve never done before, makes him feel like a giddy teenager. 
“Can I be honest?” he wonders, arm wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. When you hum in confirmation, he laughs sheepishly. “I thought you were going to friendship dump me today.”
“What, why?”
Your head bobs up as he shrugs his shoulders. “The way you were acting reminded me of the last time you told me you wanted to focus on your relationship. I was just scared I was going to lose you again.”
The tone he uses makes your heart ache, the same guilt you felt these past few days coming back when you put yourself in his shoes. You had no idea that the way you were acting would affect him this way, never once imagining that he thought you would cut off this friendship while you were just coming to terms with the fact that you harbored strong feelings for him. 
“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you sigh, palm resting on his chest, feeling each beat of his heart, no longer racing like before, confident and steady in it’s pace because he knows you’re not going anywhere. “I’m stupid, and freaked out after what I did, and just needed to gather my thoughts before saying anything.”
He cranes his head away from you, a confused look on his face. “After what you did? What did you do?”
Fuck.
“Uhm,” you start with a strained laugh, refusing to look up at him out of embarrassment, but the truth has to come out so you power through it.  “So, the night of the date, I sort of got home earlier than I told you I did.”
His eyes narrow at you, refusing to give anything away before he knew where this was going. “Okay, go on.”
“And I sort of heard you through the walls.” You look up at him now, your guilty stare spelling it out for him. His eyes widen before he can conceal his surprise, cheeks warming up instantly because oh boy, he knew exactly where this was going. “And then, I sort of...joined.”
“You lied to me!” he shouts, shocked smile on his face as he recalls the way you had replied to his texts, telling him you had just gotten home and going the extra mile to say you were in a totally different room when in reality, you were sprawled out in your bed after just getting off to the sound of him.
Filthy. And also kind of hot. Jungkook was definitely into that, something he’ll totally proposition you into doing again because why not.  
“I know! I couldn’t help it, it was so hot, and I felt so guilty. But, you’re technically the reason why my orgasm gave me my epiphany and let me realize I really do like you. So, I think I did us both a favor by being a dirty liar.” He’s laughing instantly, fingers gripping your cheeks to turn your head up, planting a firm kiss onto your lips obnoxiously.
“Alright, you’re forgiven. Plus, consider us even because I have definitely heard you getting off on your own plenty of times too.” A squeal of surprise fills the air as you swat at his chest, burying your face into his shirt and feeling the rumble of his laughter. It really wasn’t ever intentional. The walls are thin, you weren’t exactly quiet, and he couldn’t just lay there and ignore it. So call him an opportunist, or a pervert, because you were one too. 
Jungkook is cheeky though, knowing how to get under your skin in the best way, and you can already tell you’re in for a ride when he gets close to your ear and whispers, “You wanna show me how you did it?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you snort, peering up at him with mischief in your eyes.
“You did say I could torture you later.” He smiles innocently, fingers pinching your chin as he kisses you again. “It’s later.”
The sweet laughter that escapes you makes his heart skip a beat, still not able to come to terms that this was happening and wasn’t some dream of his that he’d wake up from. He kisses the tops of your cheeks first, then your nose, before reaching your lips, his hand gently caressing your skin. Jungkook had no intention of torturing you tonight, knowing how tired you typically were after work on a normal day, and after drawing two orgasms out of you that left you shaking, he knows how close you are to sleep with the way your eyes droop. 
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on crushes and love?” he mumbles against your lips, inching back to stare down at you. 
“I’m glad I stopped looking for it in the wrong places.” Your hands wrap around his neck, toying with his hair before pulling him back to you, reattaching your lips because you just couldn’t seem to get enough of him. 
Every single moment you shared, from moving in and awkwardly trying to get to know each other, the ups and downs of failed relationships, the push that started it all at the club, and every almost moment in between brought you full circle to right now. There probably won’t be a moment where you don’t wish you had done this sooner, worked past your worry of ruining a good friendship in fear of what could happen, but the past helped mold you into who you are, strengthening your relationship to be the way it is now.
Right now had you thinking of the future, and there was nothing more exciting than that.
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monthofsick · 2 years ago
Text
Thanks, I hate it
Nov(emeto)ber 2022, Day 7: Enemy to Caretaker
OCs: Tiago, Hunter
This is my first time writing an actual asshole caretaker who doubles as a very biased narrator. I feel a tad guilty for picking Tiago again, but it all came together so naturally. Even though this is written from a very subjective point of view, I also simply love to make seemingly perfect people sick.
TW: Vomit, mild scat/both ends, mean caretaker
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Hunter Calaway was perfect.
He had the face of an ancient demigod – big, expressive eyes, sensual lips and cheekbones you could cut paper with. His curls were naturally defined, he was tall and athletic (kind of a given, considering he was the college’s basketball MVP) and he had flawless caramel skin. He also had heterochromia, because of course he had. A real life Gary Stu like him needed his special eyes. It was like people from all around the globe had come together to create an ultimate winner in the genetic lottery.
Tiago hated him with a passion.
Maybe he was a tiny bit biased because of the whole Diamond issue. Diamond was the campus goddess, head cheerleader and pride of the debate club. Tiago had a crush on her since junior high, but who did she end up with? The Great Hunter himself. Because he was such a kind‑hearted gentleman who loved to spend his free time doing voluntary work.
As if it couldn’t get any worse, both Hunter and Tiago had been assigned to represent the basketball team at New Student’s Day. They had to conceptualize a banner, create a flyer and come up with fun activities to attract new talents. Tiago had felt honored to be picked for the job… until he realized that a) he had to work together with his personal nemesis and b) they had only been chosen because no one else had volunteered for the task. Now he had to invest his free time while constantly fighting the urge to display his aversion.
Today was especially frustrating. They hadn’t agreed on how to translate the team’s logo into a banner yet. Tiago wanted to focus on the colors for a more clean and modern look, Hunter wanted their Rottweiler mascot front and center. It didn’t help that Mr. Perfect wasn’t his usual upbeat and diplomatic self this afternoon.
„See, they’re basically kids“, he explained in a disgustingly patient tone. „We need something to stand out from the crowd and catch their eyes.“
„Okay, but we don’t want them to think they took the wrong turn to elementary school.“
„But everyone loves our Rottie! Go, Rotties, go!“ Hunter’s face lit up for a moment. „Wait, I just had the best idea ever. You know that I help out in an animal shelter? We could bring an actual Rottweiler, they have a total sweetheart right now. It would be an audience magnet and bring awareness to adopting pets.“
„Everyone and their grandma knows that you volunteer for any good cause known to mankind.“ Tiago exhaled audibly. „That’s because you’re bringing it up like every ten seconds.“
„That is so not true.“ The smile on Hunter’s lips faded as quickly as it had appeared. „Can we just stick to the topic, please? I made a suggestion, you can give your opinion on it. This is not about me.“
„Isn’t it always about you?“, Tiago growled. He knew perfectly well that it was immature and irrelevant, but this entire conversation was oh so typical. Of course, Hunter never had bad intentions. How dare he accuse him of such profanity?
„Look, I know you have a problem with me. I don’t know why because I don’t have a problem with you, but can we still try to make this work?“
„Stop being such a fucking saint.“ Tiago rolled his eyes. „You know what? Just bring the dog. If it tears out some kid’s throat, at least we get all the attention. Can we go back to the actual issue now and sketch a draft of the design each of us has in mind? Because that might actually help with the decision.“
„Fine. At least it means we don’t have to talk for a while.“ That was probably the most hostile thing Hunter had ever said. Tiago was genuinely surprised. Maybe he had hurt Mr. Perfect’s feelings by insinuating that he could be anything but altruistic.
Without wasting further thoughts, Tiago grabbed some pens from the art supplies they had been given. He focused on bringing his vision alive – something not even Hunter could top. Every once in a while, he heard a low rumble, but didn’t pay much attention to it. Only when it grew louder he realized that the source of the noise was his unwanted teammate. Tiago couldn’t hide a broad grin.
„Wait, are you so on edge today because you are hangry?“
„No, I’m not.“ Upon closer inspection, Hunter’s unfamiliar grumpiness wasn’t the only thing that seemed off about him. His complexion was oddly dull and there was a frown line between his eyebrows. Plus he had barely started with his drawing. „Can we just… not talk about this right now?“
„About what? Your bowel sounds?“ Tiago chuckled. „Yeah, I bet that wouldn’t make the girls as wet as you normally do.“
„I don’t care, I’m taken.“ Hunter placed a hand on his abdomen as if that would help to reduce the noise pollution.
„Oh, guess what, I noticed.“ If Tiago hadn’t known better, he could have sworn that Hunter had said that on purpose, just to rub a little more salt into the open wound. „But hey, with that impressive growls, you could do a pretty decent Rottweiler impersonation yourself.“
„That’s not even funny.“ Hunter turned his head, but Tiago still saw his throat bobbing rapidly. Then there was the sickly skin tone and tiny drops of sweat forming on Hunter’s forehead. His stomach rumbles now resembled rolling thunder and Hunter’s hand on his belly skipped like the muscles below were convulsing spasmodically.
Suddenly, Tiago had a terrible suspicion.
„Don’t tell me you’re about to puke.“
„Why did you have to – huuuarrck – say that?“ Something between a very sickly burp and a jerky retch escaped Hunter’s mouth. He immediately pressed it shut again, swallowing audibly several times.
„I swear to God, if you barf on our documents, I shove the stuff right back down your throat.“
„Can you please shut up about it?“ Hunter’s lips curled into a nauseated frown while his broad shoulders abruptly hitched with a hiccup. „I… I think something was off with the chicken breast I had this morning.“
„Who eats chicken breast for breakfast?“ Tiago let out an irritated sigh. „Wait, why are you staring at me like this? You’re a grown ass man, can’t you just go to the fucking toilet all by yourself?“
„See, I know you can’t stand me, but… I really don’t feel good right now and I don’t think I would make it.“
Under any other circumstances, Tiago would have probably enjoyed the miserable expression on Hunter’s face. Desperately trying to keep his stomach contents down wasn’t a good look on him. Too bad the idiot had decided to project some kind of imaginary duty of care on Tiago.
„And how exactly is that my problem?“ Tiago became increasingly annoyed by the entire situation. „Do you want me to carry you to the restroom bridal style or what?“
„You could at least lend me a hand!“
„This is a joke, right?“ The almost pleading expression in Hunter’s sad puppy dog eyes was enough of an answer. Tiago huffed, but he eventually decided that helping his teammate up was the lesser evil compared to him hurling all over the table. Begrudgingly, he put his arm around Hunter’s upper body and pulled a disgusted face as the guy leaned on him while they walked. „You better hold it in until we get there.“
„Mhm.“ It wasn’t exactly reassuring that Hunter didn’t even dare to open his mouth for an answer. His body spoke a pretty clear language anyways. Tiago felt Hunter’s shirt sticking to his sweaty back, which was nasty enough. Being way too close to Hunter for Tiago’s own comfort, he noticed every contraction of his muscles, every subdued retch and cramp. Hunter’s stomach sounded like water that was about to boil over – no wonder he was still clutching it tightly. His trained body heaved with a sloppy burp. „Oh God… that tasted like chicken.“
„Pretty sure everything tastes like chicken“, Tiago grinned. Hunter didn’t seem to share his sense of humor, because the very next second, his hand flew up to his lips and his cheeks bulged out. Tiago instantly withdrew his arm and scrambled backwards. “Swallow it down! Or puke on the floor and clean up later, I don’t even care as long as you don’t get it on me.“
Hunter frantically shook his head, then turned around and dashed towards the next trashcan. He hit the ground, hugged the bin like a lifeline and spewed a majestic cascade of milky vomit into the container. Hunter’s assumption had probably been correct – the white flood he barfed up so generously definitely contained chunks of white meat.
„Woah, that smells horrendous!“ Tiago imitated a productive retch, only to be answered with the exact same sound bubbling out of Hunter’s throat, followed by a surge of liquid hitting the plastic trashbag. If only Diamond could see her adored boyfriend like that. She probably wouldn’t feel like kissing him after watching lumpy chicken hash gushing from his mouth.
„G-guess how it tastes“, Hunter coughed, then lurched towards the trashcan again, curdled gruel bursting from his lips. Tiago rolled his eyes and turned away. Why, of all people, was he cursed to be surrounded by morons with pathetically weak stomachs? He wasn’t even a caring person. Was it really too much to ask for to enjoy his life without random jackasses losing their lunch left and right? It was bad enough when it happened to his lightweight friends, but infinitely worse when it was Hunter who was puking up his guts right in front of him. And ew, the stench!
„I suppose you don’t need a trip to the bathroom anymore?“ Tiago turned to leave. „Because I’m really not keen on watching you blowing chunks any longer.“
„Still… need to go“, Hunter croaked, then arched his back as a garbled retch forced a rather pathetic drizzle of sick out of him. He wiped his luscious lips and stumbled back on his feet. Tiago raised both hands in defense as the aesthetically pleasing puke machine tried to approach him again.
„Stay away from me, you fucking reek.“ Tiago scrunched his nose. „If it’s absolutely necessary, I’ll catch you if you fall. But there’s no way you’re gonna get your barf slime hand on me right now.“
„Do you have to be such an asshole about it?“, Hunter moaned. „I didn’t ask for this, you know?“
„Neither did I“, Tiago replied unmoved. Hunter pouted and wrapped both arms around his belly. His hunched over gait gave an insight into the turmoil troubling his intestines. The greenish hue on his face made him look almost comically sick. Had he really expected Tiago to affectionally rub his muscular back and whisper soothing words into his ear? Was it so hard to understand that Tiago didn’t want to be anywhere near the guy when he still looked like the rest of his spoiled breakfast would erupt from his mouth any second?
Miraculously, Hunter made it to the restroom without spilling his insides again. He shambled into one of the stalls, door closing behind him.
„Okay, I paid my due, now I’m out.“ Tiago’s daily requirement of revolting sounds and odors was easily covered. „Enjoy yourself!“
„W-wait!“ Hunter’s raspy voice sounded begging. „I… I need a bucket, like, ASAP.“
„Are you fucking serious?“ Tiago stopped in the doorway. „You’re in front of a toilet, what the hell do you need a bucket for?“
„I’m sitting on the toilet!“, Hunter groaned. „Dude, I’m dead serious, I can feel it coming up - huuuarrrg.“
„Don’t tell me you’re doing a number two as well.“ Torn between repulsion and a nagging sense of obligation, Tiago rushed towards the sinks. The trash bin was mounted at the wall, so he just removed the bag inside. Tiago returned hastily and squinted as he opened the bathroom stall door. For the sake of his own sanity, he tried hard not to take in the cursed image of Hunter sitting on the porcelaine throne with his pants down, cheeks puffed behind the fingers sealing his lips. „Take this, it’s all you’re gonna get.“
Hunter frantically opened up the trash bag, then writhed as he brought up watery chicken fricassee. It didn’t help that the plastic was translucent, granting Tiago a great view of the vomit fountain shooting out of Hunter’s mouth, drowning the crumpled paper towels at the bottom. The spasmodic pulses of Hunter‘s stomach muscles were enough to set the purging process in full motion. Hunter curled up while his body forcefully emptied itself from both ends.
„Oh my God, that is disgusting“, Tiago pressed out with a muffled gag. He sure had an iron stomach, but the unbearable stench and the sopping wet gargles were getting to him. Just as he was about to leave, a diabolical idea crossed his mind. Innocent enough, he glanced back over his shoulder. „Do you want me to call Diamond? I’m sure she would give you some tender loving care.“
Hunter looked up, gooey sick dripping from his lips. He nodded feebly.
„You… would actually do that for me? That… that would be great… thanks.“
Thanks? The guy was so naive. Did Hunter really think a classy woman like Diamond would lust after him ever again once she saw him in such a pathetic state, spraying stinking slurry from his back and front?
„Sure thing. Don’t worry about it, just get it all out!“
„Thank you, really… I appreciate it“, Hunter groaned unsuspectingly before he was struck by another retch.
Tiago strove to keep his composure while he finally left the fetid cesspool that had been a college restroom not so long ago. Just like he had promised, he immediately called Diamond and informed her about her lover’s predicament. He really hammed it up and emphazised how desperately sick Hunter was and how urgently he needed the solace of her presence. After Tiago hung up, he strolled down the hallway in a much brighter mood. Diamond was in for a major disenchantment when it came to her gorgeous, sexy and charming boyfriend.
Unless she wouldn’t mind.
Unless she would actually take care of him. Hug him tight, rub his cramping belly, hold the bag for him while he threw up. Pat his back, wipe his mouth, kiss his sweaty forehead and reassure him that he would be alright. Guide him home once he had emptied himself and snuggle up on the couch to make him feel safe and loved. But that wasn’t very likely, was it?
Tiago brushed the thought aside and spent the rest of the day distracting himself from these dreadful mental images. At least now he knew for sure that Hunter Calaway was anything but perfect.
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Archive of our own: Up all night to get Bucky
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