#I also just finished episode five of season four & this thought came into my mind...

[purple--queen]

Remember when everyone hated Sansa Stark a twelve year old girl for being so easily manipulated by cersie & everyone else... I look at Ryan Butcher & -

[emily-the-fae]

A Shard of the Sun

Henry Creel/OC

I have been happily watching Stranger Things, not having to hyperfixate on any of the characters for three seasons straight, no big fanfic ideas. No broad hcs. Then season four came...

self-explanatory. of course it's the bad guy.

This piece of text has been written in a 24-hour frenzy I have dived in after finishing the final episode and found myself at 3AM of next day with this in the notes of my phone

needless to say i'm a lover of a pretty human story

Fandom: Stranger Things

Pairing: Henry Creel x OC

Rated: M

Warnings: spoilers to season 4, angst (come on, it's Henry), but also sort of fluff, mentions of abuse/torture/injury/death, suggestive content

Eleven accidentally drops into Henry's memories and sees something he keeps tucked away in the furthest corner. A shard of sun hidden in the depth of his memory.

It's life or death. Eleven is panicked and out of breath and Vecna is right in front of her. She's been running all round his little ruin temple, but at this point escape options were down to zero. Vecna reaches out a clawed hand and Eleven panics, lost for what to do. Her body reacts subconsciously with no regard to whether it was effective protection or not: Eleven grabs his wrist desperately in an attempt to push him away and win some escape space. She grabbed him. She probably shouldn't have. It felt like something inside the entire space snapped. Vecna froze. Eleven stared at her palm holding onto his thick red wrist, tattooed numbers 001 faded but still visible. She wanted to let go. She had lost control of her fingers. Eleven lurched backwards in panic, screaming, and her palm suddenly unclasped. She fely herself trip over, falling backwards on inertia. Eleven stretched out her arms trying desperately to grab onto something, to prevent the fall, but she couldn't. The world suddenly disappeared. She was falling into a black abyss, surrounded only by darkness and emptyness. Even Vecna was gone. Eleven was flying down and backwards, screaming for her life. 

***

Suddenly the world reappeared around her like she had not just a second ago been flying like Alice through the rabbit hole. There was a flash of light and suddenly Eleven was in a cold-lit white corridor, landing on the tile floor painfully with her bottom. The girl yelped on impact, disoriented. It took her a few moments to get a grasp of her surroundings and stop her head from spinning. Eleven then stood up cautiously. Where was she? The place would have looked like a hospital if the corridors weren't so empty. It looks familiar. It's the lab, isn't it? Is it another one of Vecna's mind tricks? Or is it a memory? But if so, whose? Her own or...?

Eleven could hear rapid clicking of heels nearing from behind a turn. Someone was coming. The girl looked around frantically, searching for a place to hide, realizing once again the space was oddly empty apart from a few locked doors in the other end of the corridor. The steps sounded closer now. Eleven looked in the direction they were coming from right in time to see a young woman come around the corner. Nothing threatening: white lab coat over a formal white shirt and a grey pencil skirt, hair tied in a bun and a folder with some papers in her hands. Eleven looked her over in confusion: the woman appeared surprisingly normal and somewhat remotely familiar. If this was Eleven's memory, she had no idea what this particular episode could be about. The girl stepped away cautiously: the woman's gaze met Eleven' face...

And slid past it without exposing any interest. Eleven, who was ready to run or fight, froze in frustration. Definitely not illusion. A memory.

The woman was a few steps away now, Eleven could see her face clearly: she was about twenty five and seemed very nervous. "I've definitely seen her before," - Eleven thought to herself. Maybe it's her own memory afterall. The woman walked past her and Eleven turned to follow, jumping slightly on her way, trying to peek into the papers in the folder. On top of the pages a small card read: "Katherine Brandt". 

They called her Dr Brandt. Eleven remembered her suddenly and vividly. It was that friendly woman from the medical room, who always smiled and gave them treats when no one would notice. For a moment Eleven forgot how to walk. Why was she seeing her now?

The woman had walked some distance away and Eleven had to chase after her to catch up. Running felt strange, perhaps because she couldn't feel any wind. The woman reached the end of the corridor, took a turn right and almost immediately there was gasp and a soft thud.

Eleven saw the papers scatter on the floor. She turned around the corner hastily, expecting to see the woman get attacked by something, ready to...

 - I'm so sorry! I didn't expect...

The woman was crouching on the floor, gathering the papers in a hurry. There was a man on his knees next to her, dressed in all white, his blond hair falling into his face - he was helping her pick up the contents of the folder. They had apparently bumped into each other.

 - It's nothing,  - the voice was definitely familiar. 

Eleven looked them over in surprise, unsure what to expect.

The pair stood up, brushing off. 

Eleven was finally able to see the man's face and realized with a start - it was One. So it's not her own memories after all. They are his. But why this one?

 - I umm... - the woman started nervously. - I was looking for uh.. - she took a glimpse at her files. - Dr Brenner?

 - He is working with the children. Why do you need him? - his voice was somewhat more tense than previously. 

 - I think I'm supposed to confirm my arrival with him or something like that... I uh.. I'm a resident... Intern. Hard to explain. 

 - Didn't know they took more nurses, - the man mumbled. Eleven looked closely into his face, trying to figure out a hidden meaning of a frankly ordinary scene before her  - piercing blue eyes, probably in his early thirties, maybe younger: he looked just as she remembered him and uncannily normal.

 - I'm not a nurse!

 - Of course. My bad, - he seemed amused, or maybe just irritated. - Follow me.

Eleven felt strange, as if her vision was going blurry and lights were circling around her head. She tried to follow the woman again, ran after her, but as she turned the corner, the room suddenly changed. She realized the memory was switching to a different one and she had no control over its turn.

***

The room is windowless and dimly lit. It seems like a common room for employees. Eleven realizes judging by the interior that she is still in the Hawkins lab. The same woman is sitting at a table now writing something, her attire is changed: the lab coat is hanging on the back of her chair and her skirt is dark blue. 

The door opens with a small creak and someone enters: Eleven turns around and makes a step back, seeing One shut the door behind himself. The palm of his hand is bleeding. The woman raises her head briefly to acknowledge the entry of another person, but she too, apparently notices the blood. 

 - Evening... Oh, are you alright? - she stands up from her seat swiftly.

 - It's nothing, - same phrase as before, he brushes her off.

 - Please, let me help, - the woman walks up to him, although he tries to wave dismissively. - Oh, it's you, - she says, when she sees his face. Pause. They are looking at each other for a moment, the man recognizing her too. - What happened? 

 - Just children messing around, - he turns away, reaching out for the first aid kit.

 - Let me help you clean it, please.

 - It's nothing.

 - There's too much blood for a nothing, - she touches his shoulder carefully and he flinches away, startling her.

One stares at his palm for a moment. Then at her. He huffs and hands over the first aid kit. Eleven watches them, tired of attempting to understand what is the meaning of all this.

 - I'm Kate, by the way, - she smiles, turning away to focus on the first aid kit.

 - Peter, - he responds after a short pause. He reaches out to tug his left sleeve down lower, while she is distracted.

Eleven watches his hands and it's just a second, but she still catches a glimpse of it. He is hiding the tattoo on his wrist. 

The woman - Kate - turns back to him and asks to let her look at his palm, she doesn't notice the look of strange curiosity on his face. The world is already starting to go blurry as the previous time and Eleven realizes with a jolt, perhaps too late - she had somehow dropped into the back of One's mind, a series of memories tucked away for some reason. Moving around through the blur she realized something else: the room, the light, the air around her - everything was ever so slowly turning warmer.

Eleven felt her head spinning, she turned to the door, grabbed the handle and pushed.

***

The cafeteria was half-empty, but it seemed to be lunch time. Eleven looked around, searching for a glimpse One's blond hair - he was sitting at a round table alone, seemingly deeply preoccupied with studying the contents of his plate. A strand of hair has fallen in front of his eyes. Eleven walked closer, studying him carefully. Why am I seeing these memories? What is the...?

 - Hey, Peter. Haven't seen you today, - he flinches slightly. Eleven jumps on spot too. She hadn't seen her coming. Kate is walking up to his table, tray in hands, and sits herself across from him.

 - Hi, - he responds, unsure.

 - You seem off, - she remarks. Eleven hears a quiet noise, coming not quite from the scene in front, but from inside her head - a crackle of electricity and an echo of a scream. It takes her a moment to realize the sound is from One's thoughts.

 - I'm alright. Just a headache, - he spits out a lie and sounds rather hostile. - Are you going to sit here? 

 - Yes. Why? Do you mind? - she was about to start on her food, then raised her eyes to his face expectantly.

- Not good for your reputation. Others here are rather... displeased by my company so...

 - So they are full of shit, - she stated, turning back to her food and picking up a fork. One stared at her for a moment, stunned.

 - I guess... - he mumbled, not knowing what to say.

Kate snorted.

It made the corners of his lips rise - only a little bit, but it was still noticeable.

 - And do tell me when you get headaches. I have, like, unlimited access to painkillers here, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to give them out to employees too, - she blurted, not looking up at him. Paused, then added: - Hate to see you so gloomy.

Eleven watched One stare at Kate as the room started to go blurry. For a moment it seemed to her that soft light started emanating from the woman. Eleven closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, frustrated, and when she opened them, the scene changed again.

***

It looks like a hospital room. There is a boy of about fourteen sleeping on the bed, a monitor beeping monotonously next to him.

Kate is rushing about the room, mumbling something incoherently. There is a knock on the door, she doesn't answer and the door still opens after a couple of seconds. She turns abruptly to face the intruder.

 - I have to check on four's condition, - One slides in quietly and shuts the door behind himself. He watches her move about with curiosity, identifying some new emotion to her character.

 - Here, take this sheet to Dr Brenner, I just made a fresh check up a few minutes ago. Don't bother him now, let him rest. 

She doesn't turn to him, handing out the paper. She is visibly distraught.

 - Something wrong? - he asks, out of curiosity.

 - Nothing, - she states.

A few moments pass. He is about to leave, when she suddenly continues:

 - Those marks are from a shocker, - her voice is almost shaky with anger.

 - They are, - One responds quietly after some hesitation.

 - They can't be using it! He's a child! It's...

 - They use it on everyone, it's a method of disciplining, - he mumbled, forcing his voice to sound calm.

She turned to him abruptly.

 - It's discipline for wild lions in a circus. I thought they were trained to control their abilities here, not...!

 - Dr Brenner believes it an effective method to stop them from using their power for bad or misbehaving in the facility, - he barely brought himself to say it, his voice sounded fake and he seemed angry at himself for pronouncing it. Maybe he just wanted to see how she would react. 

 - That's not going to stop them from misbehaving! They are just going to hate him and this place and try to sneak... They are supposed to be assisted here! It's wrong! - she was getting worked up and emotional. One watched her as she spoke - just for a second an expression ran over his eyes - barely noticable, but still there, it looked oddly like admiration.

 - It's Dr Brenner's methods, - he sighed deeply, letting his own disapproval show if only a little.

 - It's cruel! This cannot be allowed, it's just.. wrong! You can't treat children like this! You can't treat anyone like this! 

One stared at her for too long. Then dropped his head, looking at the floor.

Brenner can.

And no one tells him he shouldn't be?

 - He doesn't take advice on what he should or shouldn't do. It's his project.

 - What do you mean? ... Peter!

He was about to turn away, then looked back at her abruptly.

 - We shouldn't be talking about this. You are right. But we shouldn't. Not unless you want problems, - he uttered quickly and quietly. Kate looked like she had swallowed a glass of water that was about to become ice.

 - Peter... - he shook his head, threw an apologetic look at her and turned on his heels. Kate closed her eyes. The door shut.

The room started to buzz and go blurry. Eleven watched Kate closely. She realized she was right the previous time - when everything started blurring there was a faint glow around her, like rays around clouds on a sunny day. And the room was ever so slowly growing warmer. There were voices behind Eleven. She turned around.

***

 It is the same room, but the date had apparently changed. The bed is empty, the lights are slightly more dim. Kate had dragged One into the room by his arm and closed the door behind them. He seems to be limping, slightly shaky on his legs, whilst Kate is walking determinedly, fuming. She released her hold on him by the table, allowing him to support himself on his arms, leaning on the surface. She is going through one of the drawers, searching for something actively and angrily.

 - For how long has this been going on? - her whisper comes out in a white-hot hiss.

 - It happens sometimes, - he answers evasively. He is breathing heavily, it looks like he is struggling to regain himself.

Eleven suddenly realized it must have been one of the times Brenner "treated" him with shockers. Kate must have walked in on it accidentally.

 - How often is sometimes? Is this a regular occurrence? How the hell-? - she turns to him.

 - It's nothing, - he mutters, avoiding her gaze.

 - Peter, no! He hurt you, this is serious, this is not okay!

He turns away as if trying to ignore her, then, almost whispering, with a sudden uncanny determination to his voice:

 - Henry.

 - What? - she asks dumbly, startled.

 - My name is Henry.

 - I'm sorry? - even more confused.

He turns to her with a sigh and rolls up his sleeve, exposing his left wrist - and the tattoo. Kate gasps, then puts her palm over her mouth and sinks into the chair behind her. He watches her reaction in silence. He sits down on the edge of the table before her. Then pronounces more firmly, but quietly.

 - My name is Henry Creel. I am One.

She stares at his wrist for so long the tension becomes uncomfortable, she is breathing heavily and when she allows herself to speak tears are laced in her voice, but she still attempts to ask:

 - Why- How-?

 - He found me as a child, I was twelve, - he stares into her face, suddenly something overcomes him and he blurts out, words that he wouldn't have said to anyone normally. Almost as if he is trying to scare her. - I did things. Gruesome things. I killed my family with it. My mother was going to hand me over to him for "treatment", - he spits out. - And I knew he was no good. I killed my family so they wouldn't do it, my mother, my sister, it wasn't pretty.  My father barely survived but they blamed their deaths on him anyways. And I still ended up with Brenner.

 - Peter... Henry... - Kate is staring up at him in shock, then looks down again, but he continues determinately.

 - He tried to train me like all those kids - didn't manage. Said I was too stubborn, uncontrollable. So he started a whole program, to get obedient versions. I'm just the failed first experiment. Hidden in plain sight so to say. Brenner's bad bloody monster.

He finishes and leans back, watching her angrily, expecting her to react, panic, run out of the door.

Eleven felt the air tense up, but the lights for some reason didn't grow colder or darker like she expected them to.

Kate is staring down at her lap now with tears in her eyes, her gaze focused, she is apparently actively overthinking every word he said. A minute passes, but it feels like thirty.

 - I'm so sorry.

He flinches. Then stares in surprise.

 - Sorry for what? - he hisses.

 - Brenner has no right to be treating you the way he does.

 - Well, I've killed my family.

 - That is no normal behavior.

 - No-o, not normal at all, - he growls, leans in a little closer to her. - Aren't you scared of me now?

She looks up, her eyes meeting his. His gaze is angry, piercing, he is expecting her to turn away. Eleven could hear echoes in her own head like before: a woman yelling, berating someone; "hold yourself together"; "...you're incapable of behaving yourself, boy" and a sound of a slap; "Henry, you're a freak!" then a girl's laughter; then more of the familiar sounds from before - electric cackling and screams.

Kate held his gaze. It visibly took her some effort.

 - No... A little bit. But that doesn't change the fact that you were just a boy. You did awful things. But you were twelve. You  didn't deserve to be dragged into a cage and studied like a wild animal, you needed help, not a damn collar, - her words grow heated towards the end of her speech. She stops abruptly, then looks away from him, breaking eye contact. - It's no excuse for what he has done or what he is doing.

The sounds and echoes in Eleven's head stopped, as if someone switched off a radio. The room is filled with silence.

One stares at the floor, then at Kate for a brief moment. Then back at the floor.

 - You're not supposed to know this by the way. So do your best pretending that you don't. Brenner will get angry, - his voice is emotionless, he seems lost for a proper emotional response to her words.

He is about to stand up when she leaps on her feet and makes a hasty step towards him. She grabs his hand firmly.

 - Pet-... Henry, - he freezes on spot, still not looking at her, but now purposefully so. - This doesn't change anything between us, right? I mean... We're still friends, right?

 - Friends? - he looks up, startled.

 - If you want.

There is a silent pause.

 - I think I do, - he responds after a while.

Silence ensues. She is still holding his hand.

 - Can I hug you?

He looks at her like he is seeing a perculiar extinct animal. Then nods hesitantly.

Kate leans in closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. He puts his around her waist cautiously. Something tells Eleven he is contemplating on how to break her spine with least effort in case she tries to stab him with a scalpel in his back. She doesn't. They stay still, breathing.

 - Aren't you scared of me? - he repeats his question from before. 

 - You freaked me out. I guess quite a bit, - she responds quietly, her lips close to his ear. "Then you are very incautious" - whispers a voice in Eleven's head. - But I've known you for some time and... You told me all this so...

He breathes out heavily, holds still. His arms are still wrapped around her. They don't seem to be that ready to break her spine now. As the room starts to go blurry it seems to Eleven that she sees a foreign gleam in his eyes. She also notices that the yellow glow that seemed to emanate from Kate was drastically more visible. Eleven turned away, and the room rolled in a blur. She had a feeling for some reason that she wouldn't like where this was going.

***

It's the far medical room, one like those the children were put in when they were sick for a long time - a rare occurrence. Henry is looking around awkwardly, suspiciously. Kate is in front of him, it looks like she had brought him in the room on purpose. They are alone, the door is locked.

 - Here we are, - she says.

 - Yes, and why are we here? - he says, cautiously, suspiciously.

 - You said your room was always checked, right?

He nodded, still looking at her in distrust.

 - So?

 - So, Brenner never goes in here. 

 - And?

 - And there are no cameras in the medical rooms because they are barely used and supposed to be safe and boring. 

 - And?

 - And there are those cupboards that have locks and I can lock them up and we can hide stuff for you in here so that Brenner doesn't find out... I mean... - she pauses, catching her breath anxiously: she had been speaking very fast, afraid he'd interrupt her. - I brought you some pencils and a sketchbook. I noticed you draw. And I brought some books. You don't have to read them. It's just the ones I thought you'd like. I can buy you something else, you just tell me what you would prefer...

She crouches down, producing a set of small keys and unlocking one of the drawers of a nearby table. Henry is watching her closely.

 - Here, see?

He makes a couple fast determined steps towards her. Kate jumps to her feet, watching his face intently, perhaps worried she might have upset him somehow. He stares into the drawer for a long moment: there are new pencils, pastels, a fresh sketchbooks and a couple hard-binded books, a copy of "The Hobbit" at the top. He breathes out, heavily, shakily, with a small smile on his face. Kate smiles awkwardly at him too, then flinches almost unnoticeably, startled as she looks down. He reached out timidly, touching her hand, interlocking their fingers. She squeezes his palm. They look up at each other simultaneously, their gazes meeting. 

 - Thank you, - it comes out as a whisper, but it seems to echo around the room.

He makes a rushed awkward movement and suddenly he is holding her, snaking his arms around her waist and behind her back reluctantly. She looks startled and surprised in his embrace, frozen for a couple of seconds with her eyes wide open, her hands hanging mid-air in hesitation. She regains herself, wrapping her arms around him carefully. 

She is glowing again. Again more vivid. Eleven feels warmer again and the room is going blurry as the two slowly begin to pull apart. The girl turns around reaching for the door behind her, ready to go to the next bit of memory, but it's not there anymore. 

***

It is once again that what appeared to be a common room for employees. There is Dr Brenner standing in front of the doorway, several people are sitting about on chairs or couches, all looking at him. Right in front of Eleven, at a table with several other people there are Henry and Kate, sitting next to each other.

Dr Brenner carries on talking, it looks like he has been going on for a while.

 - I believe we might need some extra effort with Two and Three today. It looks like they believe they are allowed superficial privileges since they are older, which is not quite what we have discussed with them.

Henry tenses up. It looks like Kate notices.

  - Michael, Peter and Jacob will be on assistance in class today...

Brenner is still talking, but the sound becomes slightly muffled.

Eleven sees Henry's shoulder shift slightly, as if he is about to flinch, but restricting himself. Kate notices it too. She moves her hand carefully, slowly, and grabs his palm under the table while no one notices. He squeezes her fingers. 

The sound of Brenner's voice becomes more clear again.

 - That's it for now. Back to work, ladies and gentlemen.

Everybody is standing up, some picking folders, some turning back to desks, beginning to write something down. Kate is up on her feet before Henry is, but he is following her close by. 

She is passing by Dr Brenner, about to exit the room, when she stops. Henry is a couple steps away, next to another employee that was apparently assigned for assistance on the day's lesson too.

 - Oh, I almost forgot... - Kate suddenly speaks. - I'm sorry, Dr Brenner, but Peter has kindly agreed to assist me with the check ups today, I would like to keep him on it if that is okay with you, - she has turned away and shows with her entire pose that she is in a hurry, about to leave. Like she doesn't really care about what she is saying, throwing it in as an afterthought. If Brenner could see her face he would have noticed she was holding her breath nervously. He seems to be mulling over what he just heard.

Henry freezes for a moment, caught off guard, but quickly regains himself, adding quietly:

 - I have said I would be free to assist in the medical rooms today. I'm sure I'm not irreplaceable on the lessons, - he adds quietly. Now it looks like he had planned it all to escape the lessons that day. Like there was no startled look on his face just seconds ago when he heard her speak.

Brenner turns to Henry and looks him over strictly, quite possibly contemplating if allowing him to work in the medical rooms could lead to Kate's untimely death. He probably decides it wouldn't. 

 - Why, if you are already needed there, I will get someone else to step into your place on the lesson. But I require to be warned next time when there are duty arrangements that I am unaware of, - he finishes strictly, then turns away dismissively. 

Kate nods, exiting the room and Henry follows her, visibly making an effort not to pick up his pace. 

 - Should I not have? - she asks him cautiously when they turn the corner and are out of earshot.

 - Can't know. I'm glad you did, - he replies.

 - Isn't he going to be suspicious?

 - Of me, not of you. And not more than he has already been. He hates me, remember? - he chuckles darkly. They are walking fast in the direction of the medical office. Kate turns her head swiftly to throw an apologetic glance at him. He continues:

 - I'd rather spend the day working with you than with anyone else in this place.

She smiles, broadly. It even seems she blushes.

 - Is that true?

He doesn't answer, just huffs.

 - Well, that's mutual.

They have reached the door and she is fumbling with the keys, so she doesn't hear when he says:

 - You're the only one who'd say that, - shacking his head.

Eleven knows Kate hadn't heard him - she would have turned if she had. Eleven notices something else: Henry is staring at Kate's face intently - she is looking down at the keys in her hands, it takes a minute to realize that a strand of hair that had fallen down and in front of her face is slowly, but steadily, against common sense and gravity, moving up and behind her ear. The woman doesn't notice. Eleven stares. The corridor goes blurry. The door opens and everything is engulfed in a flash of sunlight for a moment and when it goes away, the scene is changed again.

***

It's like Eleven has been transported into the medical room and has to watch the door open from the inside, as Kate stumbles in, leading a rather unstable Henry inside, holding him up by his elbow. She throws a quick glance left and right back into the corridor before shutting the door behind them. 

It's evident that Henry's head is spinning. She leads him carefully to the examination table and gestures for him to sit down - he doesn't, he just leans on it with his back to the surface.

  - Wait a second, I'll grab some painkillers and I can also... - she mumbles on, hurriedly, almost indistinguishable, rushing around the room. Henry watches her intently. The entire room seems to be buzzing - maybe it's the aftermath of the shockers affecting his perception.

She steps back to the table, bringing a couple bottles with pills and a first aid kit.

 - Take these, it will ease the pain, - she drops a couple of round pills on his outstretched palm and gives him a glass of cold water. He follows her instruction silently.

 - Show me your burns, we have to check out those, - she doesn't notice the way he is staring at her.

 - It's alright, - he replies, his voice is slightly raspy. 

 - Henry... - she presses on, opening the first aid kit.

 - There is no need, - he continues.

 - Just hold still for a moment, - she tells him. He looks her over, glimpses into her concerned face, still focused on what she was doing. There is a tenseness in him that wasn't there before. He apparently contemplated on what she asked him to do and decided against it. 

Everything happens quickly. An invisible force yanks the first aid kit out of her hands. She gasps lightly. He leanes down to her face quickly, his hand coming up to take a hold of her chin and turn her head towards him. And then he touches his lips to hers - quickly, without hesitation. She freezes. He remains still and firm, his eyes closed. 

It feels like time had slowed down.

Then her palm comes up to lay on his chest. She moves aside whatever she had been meaning to pick up and her other arm finds its way around his neck, her fingers sliding into his hair and then all at once she is in his embrace and he - in hers. And they are holding each other: his lips moving against hers, both breathing heavily, it seemed their heartbeats filled the room with a soft humm.

They pull apart, gasping for air. His arm has snaked around her waist and his fingers are digging into her side hard.

 - Henry... - she whimpers, breathless.

 - I've been meaning to do this for a while, - he responds.

She chuckles, quietly. Then reaches up and kisses him again, on her own initiative, closing her eyes. Henry is smiling against her lips, pulling her closer, until they are pressed firmly chest to chest and she lets out a soft sigh through the kiss.

The room is buzzing and lighting up with sunshine, Eleven has to turn away, blinded, and when she does she sees a staircase - definitely not a part of the medical room.

***

 - Where are we going? - Kate asks.

She is following after Henry down a dimly lit narrow corridor and towards the staircase - they seem to be still in Hawkins, although the space looks quite uncharacteristic.

 - Just wait, we're almost there, - he answers shortly.

 - I don't think we're supposed to be here.

 - It's alright, I've done this before.

 - But what if we get in trouble? What if you get in trouble? - she is hurrying after him. 

He turns around briefly to give her a short smirk.

 - I won't.

He runs up the stairs that seemingly go straight into the ceiling and pushes on a door that is barely noticeably there. It gives a heavy groan, but opens nevertheless. Kate watches at the bottom of the stairs, curious.

 - Come on, - he calls to her, climbing up through the door. Bits of blue are visible above him - it's an opening to the roof.

Kate follows up the steps quickly and as soon as she climbs through the opening, he shuts the door behind her. She gives him a worried startled look.

 - Don't worry, I can open it from up here too.

Kate looks around, Henry is watching her.

 - How is this place not guarded?

 - I believe it's not viewed as an escape route - if anyone even finds their way up here and opens the door - it's a seven storey fall to freedom, - he explains simply. He had obviously been thinking it through. That roof had probably brought him a lot of disappointment before it brought any joy. He seems to be glad to have come up there now though.

Kate gives him a long concerned stare. Then walks to the edge. There is a fence, but it isn't very tall - Kate walks up to it, taking in the view. Henry follows her close by.

The sun is setting slowly, colouring the sky in the west in pink and orange. Woods are surrounding the laboratory building and behind them the town of Hawkins emerges with roofs lit up by the setting sun, only to melt back into more woods further west. 

 - It's a view, - Henry comments.

 - That's one way to describe it, - Kate answers. She had been holding her breath.

Henry sits down on the roof and gestures for her to do the same.

 - Won't they notice us from the ground? - she asks as she lands next to him.

 - No, we're obscured from view on this side. Don't worry.

They sit in silence for some time, taking in the scenery before them.

In a while Kate mutters, almost to herself:

 - I sometimes wonder how this place is still standing. With everything going on inside.

At first Henry is silent, as if he hadn't heard her. When he finally speaks there is steel in his voice:

 - Weak people containing beings far more powerful than themselves. The miracle of obedience.

Kate visibly senses anger in his voice. She tenses up.

 - It's not about weakness or strength, Henry. I don't think it is, not in this way...

 - It is, - he interrupts her. - They are weak and they know those like us are stronger. They know they are weaker. They pretend to study this power to try and understand it, but they don't want to understand, not really. Only interpret. They are weak, they are scared and want control and it makes them blind and stupid.

Kate is tense and seems nervous, searching for what to say next.

 - I don't think it has to be measured through strength and weakness. Not for all of them, at least.

He is silent. They stay quiet and it makes the pause uneasy. She wants to add something.

 - I'm one of them, - she offers, needing to set the conversation right.

Henry turns to stare at her and Kate holds his gaze. He seems to be thoughtful for a moment. 

 - You're not weak, - he says finally.

 - Why do you think that?

 - Because you're not afraid.

She looks like she is about to ask what exactly she isn't afraid of, but then last moment decides against it, apparently coming up with a few answers of her own, neither of which she needs to hear from his lips.

They sit submerged each in their own thoughts for a while. Henry reaches out carefully and takes her hand, squeezing it gently. Kate looks at their interlocked fingers and when she doesn't resist, he pulls her in closer, wrapping her in an embrace. She lets out a relieved sigh.

 - Come here, - she whispers. Her fingers clutch his collar and she pulls him down to meet her lips. 

It turns out a little too hard - Henry leans forward too quick and pushes her down accidentally. Now Kate is laying with her back on the surface of the roof and Henry is leaning over her, supporting his weight on his arms, one bent in elbow, one outstretched. Kate giggles. He snorts. 

He leans down closer to her face and touches his forehead to hers, smiling, looking into her eyes, breathing calmly for a few seconds, before connecting their lips again. Kate's fingers let go of his collar to slide into his hair. Henry sighs heavily against her lips. He shifts his weight on one arm, the other going down to her waist. The sunlight becomes blinding - it seems it is coming both from the sunset and the couple. 

Eleven flinches away, unable to watch, hiding her face in her hands. She hears hushed voices and a familiar jiggle of keys.

***

It's the medical room again. The door bursts open, Kate lets Henry step in first, then closes the door behind them carefully, making an effort to pretend like she wasn't in a hurry. Henry waits tensely watching her movements impatiently. 

As soon as the door clicks shut, Kate is turned around and pushed with her back to the wall right next to it. She probably doesn't realize it happened without Henry even touching her. In seconds he is on her, one hand on the wall next to her head, caging her in, the other wrapped around her waist. The noise she makes is somewhat a surprised squeak. The room seems hot, the air feels dense. Henry is kissing her lips, his hand dropping from her waist and down to her hip, tugging the material of the pencil skirt up, and climbing underneath it. Kate gasps for breath when his lips finally leave hers, fingers of one hand entangled in his hair, the other clutching his shirt. His lips descend to her neck and she gasps in surprise before muttering:

 - Wait, wait, Henry, someone can walk in on us.

 - They won't, - he growls quietly, not raising his head from the crook of her neck.

 - But what if...

 - Tssch, quiet... - he mutters looking up into her eyes, pressing a finger to her lips.

There is a soft click.

The key turns itself in the lock.

With another click the lights go off.

Kate gasps softly. Henry growls.

It's dark, but there is again a warm glow coming from their figures - it blurs everything, the whole room seems to start spinning, the sounds become entangled as if someone is playing multiple audiotapes at the same time. Suddenly the world is a caleidoscope of images and sounds - everything sunlit, although barely distinguishable, it was warm and there were laughs and sighs and exclamations and bits of conversation coming from everywhere and nowhere in particular. Words are echoing, they seem quiet and loud at once. 

"You're not supposed to come into work sick" - "I was worried it would upset you if I didn't show up"

snort - "I have never heard you say that before..."

"I'm pretty sure this isn't supposed to hold two people"

"Henry, wait, Jesus!" quiet muffled laughter

"when was the last time you tried chocolate?"

"I'm so awkward, I'm sorry" - "you aren't"

"god I'm glad they didn't put cameras here" quiet giggles

And in the midst of it all, there are bits of one hushed conversation, laced through, ringing somehow more prominent than everything else.

 - Henry I...

There is a sound of something falling, pushed off a surface.

 - Is something wrong?

It seems like music is playing somewhere far away.

 - Henry I'm...

There are quiet indistinguishable voices in the background.

 - You look sick.

Repressed laughter echoes somewhere, turns into a satisfied sigh.

 - Henry, I'm pregnant.

All the other sounds don't quite die down - they blend into and overall background noise, present and indistinguishable.

 - You need to leave. Leave this place. You don't understand, if you don't, he will...

 - Henry, WE need to leave this place.

 - I can't.

 - We can run far, they will never find us.

 - You need to hide from him.

 - We will hide together. I'm not leaving without you!

 - I am tracked. He put a chip in my neck, I...

 - I have a scalpel.

 - Kate...

 - I don't want to do this without you.

The conversation mixes with the other sounds. It seems to Eleven she hears muffled swearing and quiet coughs. The lights starts to shimmer, like sun rays on the forest floor on a windy day, obstructed by the trees. Eleven can hear sounds of someone running. Something creaks. Then there is rain. Rain and thunder.

***

The rain is pouring and it's freezing cold - still a different cold than the upside down. Thunder rumbles close by and Henry is soaking wet. The caleidoscope stopped. It's another memory. He is on a porch and he is knocking on the door desperately. He knows who lives here, he is confident.

He had escaped the lab.

Less than a minute goes by and the door sweeps open, revealing a sleepy Kate. Her facial expression changes from mistrust to recognition and then relief, settling somewhere in between joy and overwhelming anxiety. 

He is wet to the bone, dripping all over her porch and the door mat. Strands of wet hair are plastered over his face, he is leaning on the door frame, looking down at her.

 - Henry!? - she looks him over for a few seconds, a bit lost. He is just staring down into her face, waiting, breathing heavily. It seems there is a silent dialogue between them. 

She lets out a gasp, awakening from her shocked paralysis, reaches up to grab him by the collar and drag him into the house. The door swings shut swiftly behind them, but not fast enough for Eleven not to notice that he was smiling - a broad relieved grin.

The rain picks up and it obscures the house from the view - Eleven tries to push closer and open the door. She yanks it open, it takes effort.

***

The room is not what was to be expected looking at the house. The door altered right in her hands. 

The room was lit with rays of setting sun. It was obvious that this was a different house - the view was nothing like the surroundings of the previous one: this was apparently sat on a hill and overlooking a valley with a lake below. It didn't seem to be a home too, most probably a hotel. There are takeout boxes on the edge of the table, a couple suitcases on the floor, a radio is muttering news on lowest volume. 

Kate lays stretched out on the bed, her head on Henry's shoulder. Eleven realizes that she is seeing him in ordinary clothes for the first time: he is wearing jeans and a white t-shirt and looks suddenly absolutely normal, not even a little bit strange or scary. He is petting her hair gently, her fingers are drawing patterns on his chest.

 - The sunset is better from here, - he mumbles sleepily.

She chuckles.

 - It is. And the view is prettier.

 - You're looking at me, - he whispers.

 - And I still mean it.

He shifts his head to stare back at her. She is smiling softly. He reaches out to trace her cheek with his fingers.

 - Won't you regret it?

 - I won't, - she says firmly. - I will miss some things, of course. But... - Kate shifts upward slightly, her face coming on the same level with his. - If this means you are free and-and happy... And I can be with you-WE can be with you, - he makes a careful movement to pull her closer, hand leaving a soft caress on her stomach before wrapping around her middle. - See you like this... It's well worth the price, - she pauses. - We can pull through. Together. 

They are staring at each other solemnly for several moments. Henry's eyes seem to be searching her face. Then his smile broadens, turns into a smirk. He presses her down, forcing her to slide off the pillows and fall back on the bed.  Kate yelps in surprise, then starts giggling, when he gives a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. He is hovering above her, placing kisses on her jaw and neck, making her squirm slightly underneath him, huffing and flinching her nose.

She regains herself quickly, one of her hands pushes on his arm, the other - on his chest. She catches him off guard, pushing him back, making him fall on the pillows and landing on top of him. He is unprepared for the sudden push and his head jerks a little bit, hitting on the headboard. Henry lets out a quiet hissing "ouch" and Kate freezes for a moment, worried if she hurt him. Henry chuckles. Both burst out laughing quietly. Henry wraps his arms firmly around her back.  

 - You little... 

The sun lights up the room. Eleven is covering her eyes again when suddenly it blinks. Once. Twice. She lowers her hand, confused, anticipation rising somewhere in her stomach.

*** 

It's a different setting again. It looks like a house now, a cabin maybe: there is a kitchen and a couch, a TV in the corner. Kate is sitting down, Henry is standing alert in the middle of the room, worry plastered on both of their faces. Something is wrong.

There's a crash outside, loud voices. Kate jumps to her feet too. 

 - We should go now.

 - No. Not straight away. They'll be waiting.

There a loud crash from somewhere behind the door that leads into the room - Eleven intuitively knows it's coming from the front door. 

Henry throws up his hand. There are several crashes and a couple of screams. He makes a swift palm movement and the lights go out in the entire house. 

Complete silence follows.

 - That was pretty... - Kate begins to whisper.

 - Pretty horrific? - mutters Henry, listening in carefully.

 - I was going to say pretty amazing but whichever you prefer, - she chuckles, then smiles. She's frightened, but the smile is still sincere. It makes him smile back at her. 

Eleven sees the glow again, bright and sunny.

Then there is noise, sudden and deafening and everything is happening at once: the door bursts open, men are running in, the window shatters into tiny pieces and there is gunfire.

And somehow, fantastically, louder than all of this, there is a gasp.

Henry is disoriented, if only for a moment and when he turns back to grab Kate and run, she isn't smiling anymore.

The glow falters.

Kate is tripping forward, falling into his arms. There's blood running down her shirt.

The armed men are closing in on them, for a moment Henry looks lost, like he is going unconscious, and when that look is gone from his face it is replaced by rage.

He is screaming, it feels like the sound vibrates through the house at the magnitude of a strong earthquake - the men are thrown backwards, against the walls and on the floor.

It gives him time to throw Kate's arm over his neck and run: out of the backdoor and into the woods.

Eleven follows them, as if hypnotized. She is quite sure she knows how this memory will end. She isn't sure if she wants to see it, but she can't help watching still, heart beating somewhere in her stomach. 

They don't manage to go far anyways. Kate's legs give out, Henry is dragging her now and she slips off his shoulder, collapsing on the ground. The wound seems to be just little above the sternum, her shirt and jeans were soaking in blood. 

He tries to pick her up again and she herself is trying to stand, but all the effort earns is a painful gasp. She sinks back on the ground and he catches her, dropping on his knees. 

They haven't gone far - the lights of the highway can still be seen. 

 - Kate?

 - It hurts. It hurts so much, I can't breathe. 

He sees the blood over her clothes and a shiver runs through his body.

 - Kate...

 - Just give me a moment to rest, just a second, - she is barely whispering, her voice hoarse. He is trembling.

 - It's okay. Just catch your breath. It's fine, - he mutters.

She lets out a painful gasp, her breaths are slowing down, coming out like whimpers.

 - Henry...

 - It's going to be okay, - his voice is shaking.

Her palm comes up to his cheek and he catches it and holds it in place, leaning closer.

 - Henry, I...

 - You will be okay, - their foreheads connect, far behind there is noise of people coming closer.

 - I love you.

He kissed her, desperately, his breath shacking. "Just hold on". When he pulls away, she wasn't whimpering anymore. 

Eleven distantly notes that Kate suddenly resembled a broken doll. 

The sounds of the world have gone muffled, indistinguishable, everything went into a blur apart from the two of them on the ground. 

 - No! No, no, no! - Henry was trembling full-bodily now, clutching her to his chest, rocking back and forth. His hand was caressing her hair, his shirt getting soaked in her blood. He was muttering feverently. - You'll be okay. You'll be okay. Please don't go, - he was sobbing, crying, every word coming out with a painful whimper. - Please. Don't leave. Not now. - he was crying, gasping, catching his breath. It was like he wanted to scream, but couldn't. - I love you, - quiet, defeated. - I love you so much. 

Eleven suddenly feels like crying too. She wants to scream in fact. She feels like she is suffocating and catching her breath in large gulps, the ground was being pulled from underneath her but she was standing still. She felt like he has thrust his pain all over the forest and now everything and everyone was gasping, trembling and wailing with him.

Eleven stumbled back, overwhelmed. And fell.

***

Eleven gasped awake. Mike was holding her, petting her back worriedly.

 - It hurts so much, - she wailed. She hadn't realized she was crying.

 - Where? Where does it hurt?

 - Nowhere and everywhere and I can't breathe and every breath is too much at the same time. And it's cold and-and...and...

 - It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, with you, - Mike is muttering, trying to hug her. - He can't hurt you here. 

 - No! - Eleven is fighting back his hands, sliding pushing away until suddenly her back hits a corner and she is sitting on the floor hugging her knees, gasping, overwhelmed with emotions that were her own and someone else's at once. - You don't understand, don't understand...

 - What happened? Did he do something? - Mike and Will are both next to her, trying to shake back to reality.

 - I thought she left... I never... I thought she just left... And she was gone... And they...

 - El! What did he do to you?!

She suddenly stared up at the boys, looking at them and through them at once.

 - There was so much light. It was warm and sunny and it was coming all over and it was so happy... They were his happy memories... - she was mumbling between sobs.

 - What?! - Mike and Will are staring at her in confusion, if only a little less frightened. - What did you see there?

 - It was his memory, - she chocked out. - I fell into his memory, I... He... There was so much light and then... And then it was gone, - another round of loud sobs shook her. - They shot her. They shot her and she was gone. They shot her and he lost them both. And he was alone.

He was alone.

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[lils-writes-stuff]

Matthews

Spencer Reid x reader

Best Years Season 2 part six | part five | part four | part three | part two | part one | season one

summary: doesn’t ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes.

warning: normal criminal minds things, angst, sadness, gore, fun stuff

A/N: based on season 8 episode 12; uhhh here’s the storm

 The sound of Y/N’s phone vibrating under her hand woke her up. She lifted her head off of Amelia’s bed, not bothering to look at the caller I.D. and answered.

 “Hello?” Y/N’s voice croaked, still full of sleep. 

 “Ms. Matthews,” a distorted voice spoke through the phone. 

 Y/N sat up completely straight in her chair, now high alert. 

 “Or should I say SSA Y/N Y/L/N.” 

 “Who is this?” Y/N asked, standing up from the chair and moving outside of the room. She knew exactly who it was but she needed to be sure. 

 “You know exactly who this is,” the voice responded.

 “Landry Stephenson,” Y/N said with a stern tone. “What do you want?” 

 “Midnight,” Landry replied.

 “What about it?” 

 “That’s what you have till before this beautiful gold ring becomes mine, along with your boyfriend.” 

 The line went dead after that. A small tear of fear pricked in Y/N’s eyes, the phone not coming off her ear as she stood there in shock for a second. She pulled the phone off her ear after taking her second, calling the only person she could think of.

 “I got here as quickly as I could,” Hotch said, rushing up the stairs to his office where Y/N stood. 

 She couldn’t trust Strauss anymore, she needed to go straight to the people she knew would help.

  Her team.

 “What’s wrong?” Hotch asked once he came face to face with Y/N. 

 “I need to tell you where I’ve been,” she said with a shaky voice. 

 It felt as though she was injured, running off of pure adrenaline. And now it was starting to wear off because her voice began to shake. Hotch closed the door to his office and gestured for her to sit down.  

 “Strauss sent me undercover at George Town because they’ve been receiving letters about someone in the BAU being stalked. There has also been a recent string of ‘suicides’ that we thought were connected to the case, now I can confirm it is because one of the girls I’ve become close to was a victim last night…” 

 “Y/N I’m so sorry,” Hotch said sympathetically. 

 “It’s alright, she’s recovering in the hospital, she made it to my office to get help somehow.” 

 She took in a shaky breath and looked at the watch on her wrist. 

 “Okay, I’m going to skip some parts because we need to get the team here as soon as possible. Basically, this girl named Landry Stephenson has been sending letters to us about Spencer and I found out it was her yesterday when I went to Amelia’s dorm to look around and I found hundreds of pictures of Spencer in a small chest. This morning I got a phone call from Landry saying we have until midnight tonight to save Spencer.” 

 “How do you know it was Landry for sure?” 

 “Because she addressed me as Ms. Matthews, that was my undercover name.” 

 Y/N took in a shaky breath and lifted her hand and watched it shake violently. She was starting to have an anxiety attack, she hadn’t had that since the day of the bomb. 

 “Y/N,” Hotch said, making her tearful eyes look at him. “I need you to breathe okay, breath.” 

 She took in some deep breaths and let a few tears fall down her face. Her eyes closed and she took a minute to compose herself, letting all her emotions flood out of her so she could focus on saving Spencer. 

 “Okay, let’s get the team here.” 

--------------

 “Y/N,” everyone said as they walked into the bullpen, seeing the woman they all missed. 

 JJ and Penelope ran up and wrapped their arms around her, squeezing her tightly. 

 “Hey, guys-” she pulled away from the hug and gave others to the rest of the team- “I wish we had time to catch up but we have a problem.” 

 “Why? What’s going on?” Rossi asked, his brows furrowing in concern. 

 “Wait, shouldn’t we wait for Reid?” Penelope asked, noticing the Boy Wonder’s absence. 

 “That’s why we’re here. This morning Y/N received a phone call from Landry Stephenson, the unsub Strauss sent her to find who had been killing students at George Town and stalking a member of the BAU, that member was Reid,” Hotch relayed the information Y/N had told him to the team. 

 The team had slack jaws at the news. 

 “So, is he okay? Is he in protective custody?” JJ asked, her words quick and strong. 

 “When I got the call, Landry told me we had until midnight to find him,” Y/N said, her voice shaking again. 

 “Oh god…” Penelope muttered, clutching her hand to her chest. 

 “What other information do you have?” Derek asked assertively. 

 “Not much,” Y/N let her head drop in shame. 

 The team stayed quiet for a second, watching as Y/N sniffled as a way to keep in her tears. “I have a wealth of knowledge to be applying to this case right now about behaviors of violent stalkers, tactical recovery strategies-” she choked on a sob at her next words- “victim survival odds, things I know about the unsub. But I can’t keep a straight thought for more than four seconds at a time, so I’m the dumbest person in the room.”

 The team watched in sympathy as Y/N cried during her speech. They knew he was the love of her life and she was his. They were Spencer and Y/N. “The greatest love I’d ever seen,” as Rossi put it. So they knew, this was tearing her apart because she was putting all the blame on herself.  

 “Please-” her voice cracked- “we need to find him.”

 “This technically isn’t our case, but Spencer is a part of this team,” Hotch said as everyone stayed quiet. “This is going rogue not only for Y/N but for all of us, we could lose our jobs. Does anybody want to leave?”

 No one answered.

 “Good, then let’s get started.”  

-------------

 “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while deeply loving someone gives you courage,” Y/N mumbled under her breath as she paced back and forth in Penelope’s office. She kept repeating the phrase under her breath like a mantra. It’s a quote by Luo Tzu that she found during her time away. It’s what kept her going from being away from Spencer and only being able to talk to him every so often. 

 “Hey,” Derek whispered, walking into the office that was only occupied but Y/N. 

 Y/N ignored him and kept repeating the quote under her breath. 

 “Y/N.” Derek stepped in front of her and grabbed her shoulders. “We’re going to find him.”

 “Yeah,” she nodded and wrangled her hands together. “It’s just this is all my fault. If I had pushed harder, maybe Strauss would have gotten him sooner or even put Landry in custody and then we wouldn’t be here right now and I could be back on the team and everything would be great and be normal. Spencer and I would be together and would be happy and hopefully engaged-” 

 Y/N’s blubber of ‘what if’s’ was cut off by Derek. 

 “Hey, hey.” He grabbed her shoulder and gave her a slight shake. “Wonder Woman we are going to find him and stop this.” 

 She nodded and fell into his chest, just needing a hug now. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and held her for about a minute. 

 “Let’s go to the round table room, we got all the letters that were sent from Strauss,” Derek said, beginning to lead her to the door. 

 “How did she take the fact I didn’t come to her first?” Y/N asked while wiping the last of her tears. 

 “Not well at first, but I think she understood eventually.” 

 When they reached the round table room, the team was sitting all around it, copies of the letters that were sent scattered between them. 

 “This is clearly a classically possessive stalker,” Derek said as he finished one of the letters he was reading. 

 “Yeah, one who craves validation and recognition,” Blake added.

 “Yeah, she’s asking here ‘why won’t you see me?’, ‘do you think you’re better than me?’, within the five letters this comes up again and again,” JJ said as she flipped through her copies of the letters. 

 “Five?” Y/N asked from her seat across the table. 

 She had been silent for most of the time in the room. Her knees pulled up to her chest and her forehead resting on top of them. 

 “Yeah, there’s five,” JJ responded showing Y/N the letters.

 “No, no, that can’t be right, when Strauss sent me out there was only four,” Y/N let her feet hit the ground as she reached for her copies of the letters. 

 Sure enough, another latter had been sent since she was undercover. It came in yesterday. 

 “This got here yesterday,” Y/N pointed out. 

 “How do you know?” Rossi asked, flipping to the same letter she had in her hand. 

 “Because this is talking about the attack on Amelia,” Y/N said as she kept reading the letter swiftly. 

 “Who’s Amelia?” Blake asked quietly, not wanting to make Y/N jump at anyone in her frantic state. 

 “She’s a girl I’ve been counseling undercover, we’ve gotten really close, yesterday she was attacked.” Y/N kept reading through the graphic description of the attack, trying to not let it get to her as she looked for ideas where Spencer could be. 

 “Here, here, she talks about how she did this for him,” Y/N blurted when she finished reading over a line in the letter, pointing to the spot. “She was killing these people so that the team would come and investigate.” 

 “Well, we have her motive for the killing, also probably for the suicide she’s also talking about,” Blake said as she pointed out another thing in the letter. “Here it says, ‘when I find you I’m going to kill you than myself’.” 

 “Murder suicides the ultimate ‘I love you’ to these guys,” Rossi remarked.

 “Do you know when Landry started targeting Spencer?” Hotch asked, turning to look at Y/N. 

 “No, no, I just know she was in one of Blake’s linguistics classes, probably saw him guest speak, and…” she trailed off from there, not wanting to say the rest, knowing that the team knew it.  

 “Oh my god guys, I found Spencer,” Penelope blurted when a ping went off on her computer. “Well, not found, but I have video surveillance of him in Union Station last night, being drugged and carted away by the unsub.” 

 The team quickly crowded around Penelope’s laptop and watched the video. Y/N stayed rooted to the ground she stood on, not being able to watch the video.  

 “Alright, Morgan you and JJ go to the station where Reid was taken, see if anything was left as a clue, Blake and Dave, go to Spencer and Y/N’s apartment, see if there’s anything there,” Hotch ordered and the team began to stand up straight and grab their coats. 

 Hotch then turned to Y/N, still rooted in the ground and not moving. “How clear is your head?” 

 “Uh, I’m not sure, not really clear,” she stuttered, eyes staring at Spencer’s empty seat at the round table. 

 “I want to talk to Amelia about Landry but I need you there.” 

 Y/N nodded her head but didn’t move just yet.

 “Y/N,” Penelope said, stopping her as she began to turn. 

 “He wears the ring you know, never takes it off.” 

 “I know.” 

------------

 “Amelia?” Y/N asked softly as she entered the hospital room. 

 Amelia looked up from the book in her hand to see Y/N approach with Hotch behind her. “Hi, Y/N.” 

 “Amelia, this is Agent Hotchner, he works with me at the FBI, um he needs to ask you some questions.” 

 “Hi, Amelia,” Hotch said, walking closer to the side of the bed. 

 Y/N took a step back to watch. 

 “Hi,” Amelia responded. 

 “So Landry Stephenson is your roommate correct?” Hotch asked, starting off his questions. 

 “Yes.”

 “Does she have any place she would go beside your dorm?” 

 “She talked about her boyfriend’s place a couple of times,” Amelia answered after a pause for her to think. 

 “What’s his name?” 

 “Uh, I think she said it was Edmond,” Amelia shrugged. “She rarely talked about him, when she did, it was almost like she was imagining it.” 

 Y/N then had a flashback to when she walked into her’s and Spencer’s apartment one time. She remembered looking over to see a boy walking into his apartment a little down the hall, Landry by his side. 

 “Hotch,” Y/N stepped up getting his attention. 

 He turned his head to look at her. 

 “I know where the boyfriend lives.” 

------------

 “This bitch,” Y/N deadpanned as she walked up the stairs to the second floor of the apartment building where her and Spencer’s apartment lived. She walked swiftly up the stairs and down the hallway, bypassing her apartment that Rossi and Blake had just been in. 

 “Y/N, slow down,” Hotch said, catching up to her. 

 “She was right down the hallway from us, Hotch, how the hell do you expect me to slow down,” she seethed as they came to the apartment of Edmond Rayes. 

 “Let us handle it,” Hotch put his hand up, stopping her from knocking on the door.

 She nodded, still furious that she was this close to them this whole time. 

 “Edmond Rayes,” Derek said, pounding on the door. “FBI.” 

 Rossi pulled his badge out of his pocket and held it to the peephole. A second later, the door opened and revealed Edmond Rayes, with a stitched up forehead. 

 “FBI?” Edmond asked the common thing most people say when the FBI knocks on their door. 

 “What happened to your head?” Rossi nodded to the large gash. 

 “My ex pushed me into a mirror,” he answered, moving his body open to let the four of them in. 

 “That ex wouldn’t happen to be Landry Stephenson would it?” Y/N asked, speaking up for the first time. 

 “Yeah, how’d you know?” Edmond asked, clearly not recognizing Y/N’s voice from the few times she talked to him. He turned his head to look at her and then he recognized her, “Oh, hey Y/N.” 

 “Hi, Edmond.”

 “Do you know where Landry Stephenson is?” Rossi asked, getting straight to the point. 

 “No, should I?”

 “Well, that’s what we were hoping,” Rossi shrugged. 

 “When did you guys break up?” Derek asked the next question.

 “Uh, about three weeks ago,” Edmond answered, pausing to think of the exact timeline. 

 “And when did you get that cut?” Hotch asked. 

 “Two nights ago, Landry came back ranting about something she left here.” 

 Y/N began to wander the apartment, looking all around at the different pictures and figurines adorning the shelves. She wasn’t listening to the interview going on anymore, it just became background noise as she looked at the walls. 

 But then her ears tuned back when she saw an orange envelope slipped between two books. To the untrained eye, no one would have caught it. 

 “Edmond,” Y/N said, bringing everyone’s attention to her. “What’s this?” 

 Edmond cocked his head to the side as he looked at the envelope with Y/N. “I’m not sure.” 

 He pulled the envelope out from between the books and opened it. He pulled out about twenty photos of Spencer and Y/N walking in and out of his apartment. “I think I found what Landry was looking for.” 

 Y/N took the photos from his hands, flipping through them to see them all. They went back a couple of months. 

 “Y/N,” Hotch said nodding to the door of the apartment. Rossi took the photos from her hands as she walked past and followed Hotch out of the apartment. 

 “This means you’re a part of her victimology now, you know,” Hotch said calmly to her. 

 “Are you pulling me off the case then?” 

 “No.” 

 “Then let me go back in there to work,” she said, trying to push past him into the apartment. Hotch stuck his arm out and held her back. 

 “We will but you need a second,” He told her. 

 “Hotch, I was practically stalked by Caroline for my whole college life, this isn’t new to me,” she reassured him and walked back into the apartment. 

------------  

 “Okay we know numbers on female stalkers are minimal, only ten percent are female,” JJ said as the team sat around the round table again to regroup. Y/N took a seat on the couch behind the table, feeling like she needed to step back to see everything. 

 “All right, what tops the list of motivators?” Hotch asked. 

 “Prior sexual intimacy,” Derek debated.

 Y/N barked out a laugh accidentally at the thought. Everyone turned to her with confused glances. “Sorry.”

 “Erotomania?” Rossi asked, moving past the moment. 

 “Maybe,” Derek said. “You slept with me, I’ve built a whole life with us-”

 “No,” Y/N butted in. 

 “Y/N,” JJ whispered. 

 “JJ I know Spencer, we all do, he would not cheat on me, or-or do anything like that.” They all looked at Y/N sympathetically, knowing she was right but they were just saying all the facts. “What’s-what’s the next one?”

 “Celebrity stalking,” JJ answered. 

 “That one makes more sense,” Y/N said nodding her head. 

 “How? Spencer’s not famous,” Blake said shaking her head. 

 “But she was in your class Blake, and when he came to lecture, she became a celebrity to him,” Y/N said. 

 “That’s a stretch,” Rossi argued. “Celebrity stalkers are usually nonviolent.” 

 “You want to tell that to John Lennon, Rossi?” Y/N said standing up from her sitting position as she got angrier. “What was it that Mark David Chapman said after he shot him? ‘It was like all of my nobody-ness and all of his somebody-ness collided.’ Well, Spencer is somebody and-and this bitch is a nobody!” 

 Her sudden outburst made the room get quiet as she paced back and forth. They waited for a second for her to cool down.

 “I’m-I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” she apologized as she continued her pacing. “My head’s too clouded, I need to leave, I’m not much help.”

 “Y/N, yes, you can be of help,” Derek said, trying to make her calm down. “You have the most communication with the unsub and Spencer.” 

 “She probably revealed details to you of where she would keep Spencer since she knew who you were,” JJ said in a calming voice. 

 “I don’t have a memory like Spencer! I can’t remember every damn word she said to me, how-”

 “Then pick one of us and we’ll go through each moment with you to help you find out,” Hotch cut her off. 

 Y/N stopped pacing, looking at everyone around the table. Truly, she would pick Penelope but that wasn’t a part of her job so she settled on someone else. 

 “Hotch, please,” she said quietly. 

 “Okay, let’s go,” He said standing up and leading her out of the room. 

------------

 “This is where you want to talk?” Hotch asked as the two reached the park that had many chess boards in it. 

 “It’s where Spencer and I went on our first date, he tried to teach me chess. I need a spot that reminds me of him,” Y/N said as she took a seat at a table. She really sucked at chess, but she knew how to play because of Spencer, but she never beat him. 

 “Okay.” Hotch took a seat across from her. He then moved a pawn to begin the game. “Try to focus on the board and not my questions, just say whatever comes to your mind.” 

 “Okay.” Y/N moved one of her pawns. 

 “When you first think of Spencer what’s the first thing you think of?” 

 “Home,” Y/N laughed as she moved her chess piece. “He-he makes me feel like home. Warm, cozy, and safe.”

 Hotch stayed quiet as he smiled at Y/N. Of course, he knew about their relationship, the whale team did, but they were very private about it. They stayed professional most of the time and no one would assume they were dating if they saw them on the job. This was the first time he really heard about how she really felt about him.

 “So if this is a case of celebrity stalking, why do you think she didn’t go after you to get to Spencer?” Hotch asked as he made his next move. 

 “I’m not sure, to be honest, I wish she did take me instead of him,” Y/N moved her rook. “Maybe she was devolving and her desire to get to him first was too strong so she just...went for him.”

 “Maybe,” Hotch moved his knight. “But why would she choose Spencer, in her mind, they must connect somehow.” 

 “But how?” 

 “Maybe Spencer said something in a lecture that had her make a connection?” Hotch moved another pawn. 

 “Could be…” Y/N moved her other knight. 

 “When you spoke to Landry, did she mention any of her classes?” 

 “No, she didn’t really talk much, she would answer yes or no to my questions…” 

 “Landry, do you have anyone special going on in your life right now?” 

 “Well, I sent in an article to someone I admire again, and I’m hoping they get back to and like this one more than my last.” 

 “Oh my god,” Y/N muttered as she remembered the conversation. 

 “What?” Hotch asked. 

 “Months ago, Spencer was helping some students with thesis and articles they wanted to be published. He then asked for input on a ‘Journal of Behavioral Psych’ article. This one student sent in a theory that was completely improbable and stupid, but I couldn’t even tell you what it was. But that same student kept sending in more stuff like it, and Spencer kept politely rejecting it,” Y/N rambled. 

 “It was Landry that sent in those articles,” Hotch realized. “She wants to be accepted by him.” 

 “She told me once a couple of weeks ago that she sent in another and was hoping it would get accepted,” Y/N looked up at Hotch with teary eyes. “I didn’t make the connection until now.” 

 “It’s not your fault, Y/N, okay, come on let’s get back to the office.”

-------------

 “Landry Stephenson, along with being a major in Linguistics at George Town, she was working on getting her psychology degree online,” Penelope said as she pulled up a photo of Landry on the screen. 

 “Do you have the articles she sent to Spencer?” JJ asked. 

 “Yeah, and like Y/N said, they’re waka-doodle,” Penelope answered.

 “Looks like when Spencer rejected her last article, she dropped out of her online classes,” Rossi said as he looked at the papers Penelope handed them. 

 “Correct,” Penelope said, taking a seat at the table. “I also found an off campus apartment that looks like she stays at on the weekends.” 

 “Dave, you, Y/N, and JJ take the apartment. Blake and Morgan, take the campus dorm,” Hotch ordered. 

 “What was the last article about?” Y/N asked quickly before they could leave. 

 “It says here, ‘How the behaviors of cells change when suicide is inevitable’,” Derek read from the file. 

 “There’s her suicidal ideation again,” Blake remarked. 

 “Except that’s not true, why is she so obsessed with it?” Y/N asked. She now understood why Spencer was rejecting her articles, if they were all like this, they were related to her emotionally. 

 S.W.A.T. busted through the door of the apartment, breaking it off its hinges. They walked in quickly, making sure all the rooms were clear before they could relax and begin their search.

 Y/N, JJ, and Rossi began to look around the apartment. Their eyes landed on a wall covered in family pictures and a newspaper clipping about a double suicide. Of her two parents. 

 “Is this a shrine to her dead parents?” JJ asked as she looked at the wall. 

 “Her parents committed suicide,” Y/N muttered and pointed to the clipping. “That wasn’t in her file.” 

 “Uh, guys,” Rossi called from a back room he wandered to. “You might want to come to look at this.” 

 JJ and Y/N walked to the room quickly. When they entered Rossi had pulled open a small closet door, revealing a bunch more pictures of Spencer. 

 “Oh dear god,” Y/N muttered as she looked at all the pictures. If Spencer wasn’t kidnapped by this girl right now, she would probably find this humorous.

 “She’s watching us,” Rossi nodded to a camera in the corner of the room. 

 JJ and Y/N turned to the camera behind them to see a green blinking light flashing. JJ quickly pulled out her phone and called Penelope. 

 “Garcia,” JJ said when she heard her answer. 

 “What you got, Mama Grizzly?” 

 “There’s a webcam in here can you hack the feed?” JJ asked. 

 “Ohh,” Penelope groaned as she tried to hack the feed. “She’s spoofing the IP address and she’s encrypted the feed.” 

 Y/N searched around the room, finding a piece of paper and marker. She quickly wrote ‘me for him’ on the page and held it up to the camera.

 “What are you doing?” Rossi asked as he watched Y/N write. 

 “Making a deal,” Y/N responded, finishing the message. The two agents watched as Y/N held the paper up to the camera.

 Y/N prayed that this would get her in to find out where Spencer was because they were running out of time now. 

 After about thirty seconds of Y/N holding up the message, the apartment phone began to ring. Y/N set down the paper and rushed to the phone.

 “Hello?” 

 “It’s me,” Spencer’s voice said back through the phone. 

 Y/N let out a breath of relief that he was still alive. “Spence, are you okay?” 

 “Yeah, yeah I think so,” Spencer stuttered. “I’ve got a concussion and some bruising, but I’m okay.” 

 “Can I speak to Landry?”

 She heard Spencer take in a sharp breath. “No, she’s listening.” 

 “Good, I need to meet her, I need to talk to her,” Y/N said, hoping she was playing her cards right now. 

 “She has a message she wants me to give to you,” Spencer spoke softly, clearly uneasy as his words were slightly slurred. 

 “What is it, bub,” she hoped using his nickname would give him some strength. 

 “The message is, she left you a present and if you want to find it, it’s easy as pie,” Spencer’s voice was slurred, almost like he was falling asleep. 

 “What does that mean? I don’t get that,” Y/N said, rubbing her forehead as she tried to think. 

 “Neither do I,” Spencer mumbled. “Y/N don’t come, it’s a trap! She’s gonna kill you-”

 The line went dead.

 Y/N thought for a moment, then she had a thought. “I need a map of D.C.” 

------------

 When Y/N, Rossi, and JJ arrived back at the BAU, Y/N had plenty of time to think about the riddle and decipher most of it. 

 A map was set up on a board when they walked in. She quickly picked up a blue marker. 

 “We don’t have a lot of time so I’m going to make this as quick as possible.” Y/N took the cap off the marker then began marking things. “This is Landry’s off-campus apartment- this is the nearest tower her phone call to me pinged off of, which means this-” she used a compass to draw a circle around the spots- “is the circle that Spencer was telling me about.”

 “What circle?” Hotch asked. 

 “It was a clue in Landry’s message, finding her would be as easy as pie, but she wasn’t talking about the food, she was talking about the number Pi.” Y/N wrote the first three digits on the board. 

 “Pi,” Penelope said and turned back to her laptop to start some calculations.

 “Why would she give you a clue?” Hotch asked. 

 “Spencer has a doctorate in mathematics, so of course she would use math to lure us in because she wants Spencer to think she’s just as smart as me and him,” Y/N relayed the conclusion she had come up with on the car ride back.

 “All right, assuming that Landry has a secondary location, wherein the circle would she hold Reid?” Hotch nodded to the circle she drew on the map. 

 “She’d need a building that would allow for privacy and control, a closed garage for prisoner transfer…”

 “If she’s trying to insert herself into Spencer’s life, maybe she has it close your apartment,” Hotch suggested.

 “There’s nothing in Landry’s name,” Penelope said after searching with the suggestion. 

 “Try Y/N’s or Spencer’s,” Hotch said, turning around to look at Penelope. 

 “Nope.”

 “What about Landry’s parents?” Y/N squatted down next to Penelope as she typed. 

 “Yes, yes,” Penelope said excitedly as she got a hit. “Landry rented a loft across from your’s and Spencer’s apartment building in her parent’s name.”

 “Y/N,” Hotch said, bringing her attention over to him. “I can’t let you be a part of this takedown.”

 “We don’t have a choice if I don’t go in there. Spence's dead,” Y/N said, her hands moving aggressively as she spoke.

 “And if you do you’re dead,” Hotch told her. 

 Y/N shook her head. “Hotch, we’ve known from the beginning she’s on a murder-suicide mission, but we didn’t stop to ask why she’s on that mission. We know now, it’s because she wants recognition, the type she believes Spencer can give her and if I go in there I can let her believe she is getting that.” 

 “How?” 

 “Because I’m going to break up with Spencer to do so.” 

--------------           

 The team pulled up to the building with the sirens blaring. S.W.A.T. had already arrived at the scene, ready for instruction from the team. 

 The team each hopped out of there respected vehicles, guns drawn and ready to save Spencer. 

 “Hang on, I got a box on the steps,” Hotch stopped everyone, carefully approaching the box. 

 “That’s the gift,” Y/N said, holstering her gun and walking up to the box.

 She picked it up, looking at Hotch to be sure it was alright who nodded. She pulled back the blue lid to reveal a small black velvet box. She pulled it out and opened it, seeing a beautiful ring inside of it.

 “Is that a ring?” Derek asked as he inspected it from a distance.

 “Take your gun and vest off,” Landry’s voice said through an intercom by the door. 

 Quickly, Y/N began to strip the vest off her torso and handed her gun and the ring to Hotch.

 “Now come in Alone.” 

 “Y/N,” Hotch tested, but Y/N didn’t look back at him.

 She opened the door carefully and slowly walked up the small set of stairs to a platform. When she reached the top, Landry rounded the corner and cocked her gun. 

 She walked over to Y/N slowly and grabbed her shoulder, placing the gun to her side. “Walk.”

 Landry pushed her down into a chair roughly. Y/N shifted uncomfortably and took a breath, trying to keep a cool front. 

 When she looked in front of her, she saw Spencer strapped to a chair. “Hi, Spence.”

 “Hi,” he whispered back. 

 “I was hoping you’d figure out my riddle,” Landry said as she moved behind Spencer, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I mean, I knew you would-” she snaked her hand under his shirt- “The fun was just how fast you did it.” 

 Y/N watched as Spencer stiffened uncomfortably under her touch. 

 “It took me a while, if I’m honest, I was kinda distracted by your article you sent in,” Y/N said, hoping she was right about her plan.

 Landry pulled her hand off of Spencer and looked at Y/N. “You read my article?” 

 “I did, the one on the behavior of cells during suicide? I couldn’t agree more,” Y/N lied hoping Spencer, even in his out of mind state, would be able to play along. 

 “Flattery is not going to get you out of this, because I know what’s waiting for me outside,” Landry said, pointing to the window with her gun.

 “I’ve arranged for your freedom,” Y/N bargained, again with a lie. 

 “The feds don’t make deals with people like me,” Landry stated matter-of-factly.

 “Not true, if you have something to help them; Nazi scientists helped with the manhattan project, Mafia bosses are put in witsec, if what you have is valuable enough, they’ll take you,” Y/N corrected her. “That’s why Spencer didn’t want to accept your article because he knew you were right and he was upset he didn’t come up with it first.”

 Spencer’s eyes lit in that realization moment that Y/N recognized. He was catching on to the game. 

 “It’s true after I read it, I was upset I couldn’t figure that out sooner, so I rejected it out of jealousy,” Spencer added, hoping that hearing him say it would allow her to believe it. “And what you have, is valuable.” 

 “And what do I have?” Landry asked, using her gun to make Spencer’s face look at her. 

 Please Spence, please say the right thing, Y/N plead internally. 

 “A brain that doesn’t work with normal societal rules.” 

 Right on the money, good doctor. 

 “I’m here because Spencer deserves someone like you, someone with a brain that’s as big and smart as his,” Y/N said, making her move to get Landry to hopefully let her guard down. 

 When Landry had no response, she spoke again. “Spencer, I’m sorry I don’t love you, I’m breaking up with you.” 

 Even though it was a lie, it hurt Y/N to say those words. It physically pained her. 

 “It’s okay, Y/N, I understand, because I chose Landry,” Spencer played into the lie. 

 Landry whipped her head around to Spencer. “You’re choosing me over her?” 

 “Yeah,” Spencer whispered. 

 “I don’t need her anymore,” Landry said, bringing her gun to Y/N’s head. 

 “Kill her and she won’t have to live with the fact that I chose you over her,” Spencer said, stopping Landry before she could shoot. “Let her live with her irrelevancy.” 

 “Fine,” Landry said, getting ready to push her out of the chair and out of the room. “But I just want her to see one more thing.” 

 Landry walked over, undid the zip ties, and connected her lips with Spencer’s. As best as he could he tried to play into it, but it felt too wrong and he barely even moved his lips. 

 Y/N just hoped Spencer could play it off long enough to where they could get her outside and arrest her.  

 “Liar,” Landry said, pulling herself away from Spencer. “Liar!” She pointed the gun at Spencer’s chest but quickly Y/N stood up and reached around her to pull the gun up as Landry fired a shot, missing Spencer completely. Y/N had got the gun out of her hand and it was thrown on the ground. 

  Landry quickly grabbed a knife off of a table next to her and held it to Y/N’s throat as the rest of the team entered when they heard the shot go off. 

 “Stay back! Stay back!” Spencer yelled as the team entered the room. 

 Y/N breathed in deeply as Landry held the knife to her throat. “Landry, Landry, remember what I said, I broke up with him, he’s choosing you, it’s going to take a second for him to be completely ready to kiss you or-or be with you.” 

 “Landry-” Spencer tried to plead.

 “You didn’t want me!” Landry screeched, the knife coming off of Y/N’s neck slightly. 

 “I didn’t,” Spencer told her honestly. “But we can still arrange for your freedom.” 

 “No, you love her and I’ll never be her.” 

 Y/N quickly reached up and wrestled with Landry for the knife. Somewhere along the line, the knife ended up and Y/N’s abdomen.

 Y/N sucked in a breath of pain as Landry pulled the knife out. 

 A shot sounded off from JJ’s gun and hit Landry in the chest as she turned around. 

 “Y/N!” Spencer’s voice echoed in the room as he ran up to her body falling on the ground.

 “We need a medic!” Hotch’s voice boomed. 

 He caught her and helped bring her down to the ground, hand pressing on the wound on her stomach. 

 “I’m okay, I’m okay,” she whispered, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek. 

 A tear rolled out of his eye, and that was just the beginning of them. 

 “Hey, bub, I heard you wore my ring,” she said, trying to bring him away from the fact she was just stabbed.

 “Yeah, yeah I do,” he choked. He grabbed the hand that was holding his cheek, kissing the back of it, and showing her the ring still on his finger. 

 “I-I think you got me a ring too,” she whispered as she remembered the ring Landry left for her at the front door that she gave to Hotch. 

 “I did,” he whispered back, holding her hand clasped against his face. 

 She smiled softly, beginning to feel her eyes get heavy. 

 “Hey, hey, sweets, keep those eyes open, the paramedics are almost here,” Spencer begged as he watched her eyes get heavy. “I love you.” 

 The paramedics pried Y/N out of Spencer’s arms and brought her onto a board, but Spencer kept trying to grab for her. 

 His sobs racked his body violently as JJ and Derek held him back from running to her unconscious body. JJ shushed his sobs and cries for Y/N as she was taken out of the room and into the hospital.

------------- 

 “Spencer,” JJ’s voice echoed in Spencer’s head. “Spence.” She shook his shoulder. 

 Spencer stayed still, not having moved from his position on the ER bed all night as he stared at the same linoleum tile. Y/N had been in surgery for hours and his physical exam to see his injuries had been long done. He came out with a minor concussion and a few bruises like he thought, but his heart was in need of fixing. 

 He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe without knowing if Y/N was okay. If she was alive. 

 JJ kept saying his name but gave up after her fifth try and had no answer. She settled with placing the ring that Y/N gave to Hotch beside him on the bed. 

 He glanced down at the ring in its box, then back up at JJ. His eyes watered and then he let the tears fall as he picked up the box. 

 He needed someone right now to give him a sense of hope, to give him something to hold on to. Because if he didn’t have something, he might lose everything. 

 “I’m scared,” he admitted to JJ in a whisper.

 “Oh, Spence,” she said sadly, wrapping her arms around his shoulder from her standing position. “She’s going to be okay, she’s too strong to die.”

 Spencer let out a sob as he hugged JJ back. 

 In the waiting room, the rest of the team sat anxiously. Derek muttered some prayer to a God he struggled to believe in, in hopes that he might grant some mercy for Y/N. 

 Rossi prayed to a God he did believe in. 

 Blake closed her eyes and just hoped. 

 Penelope sat staring at a random tile on the floor, muttering “She’s gonna be okay” under her breath repeatedly. 

 Hotch paced back and forth in the room. 

 Spencer was told by a doctor he was allowed to go to the waiting room with the rest of the team. It wasn’t really a suggestion though, the ER nurse gave JJ a pleading look because they needed the bed for other patients.

 “Spence, let’s go see the rest of the team,” JJ cooed, coaxing him up with one arm and leading him to the waiting room. 

 When they entered the room, each one of them looked up and gave Spencer a sad smile. 

 Penelope stood up from her chair though, walking over and standing in front of him. She was about to say something, her mouth opening, and closing while she struggled to get the voice out. 

 But Spencer knew what she meant and just nodded.

 Penelope let out a sob and wrapped her arms around Spencer tightly. Her tears were full of fear for Y/N and sorrow for Spencer. 

 “Family of Y/N Y/L/N?” 

 Everyone faced the doctor that walked into the room. 

 “How is she?” Rossi asked, being the only one who could voice the question. 

 The doctor let out a breath that was anything but reassuring. “She coded, but we were able to bring her back. She’s out of surgery now but we don’t know when she’ll wake up.” 

 “But she’s okay?” Spencer asked, needing to hear those words so he could breathe again. 

 “She’s okay.” 

 Spencer took in a breath, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

 “Can we see her?” Penelope asked. 

 “Yeah, follow me,” The doctor said and began leading the group to the room. 

 In the bed laid Y/N, connected to many I.V.’s and an oxygen tube up her nose. But she was there. Alive and breathing. 

 Spencer rushed to her side, grabbing her hand and lacing it with his. Tears of joy escaping his eyes. 

---------------

 Five days. That’s how long Y/N had been asleep for now. Hotch had given the team time off if needed, seeing as Y/N would need them as soon as she woke up. 

 Each day, a different member of the team would come in and hang out with Spencer. Who stayed there full time. He may have left once to take a shower and a couple of changes of clothes. Other than that, he hadn’t left Y/N’s side at all. 

 Penelope had brought many flowers, balloons, and baskets in for Y/N. She brought her favorite muffins for when she woke up, pink roses which were her favorite, and many balloons. So many balloons that when Penelope brought in more one day, he made her take some out so the new ones would have room. 

 Today was Rossi’s day in the rotation for visitation. He had been there a couple of times before, but only for an hour or two, today was his whole day he got to spend there. 

 “Hey, Kid,” Rossi greeted, handing him a coffee he brought. 

 “Hey, thanks,” Spencer said, taking the warm drink from his hand. 

 “No problem,” Rossi smiled, taking a seat in the chair on the other side of Y/N’s bed. “Has there been any changes?” 

 “No, doctors still don’t know why she hasn’t woken up,” Spencer sighed after taking a sip of the coffee. He looked up to her peaceful face. “I even called London, her best friend who’s a doctor and one of the best hospitals in the US, and she and her colleagues can’t figure out anything.” He took his hand out of her and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen in her face away. 

 Rossi smiled at Spencer’s gesture, hoping that she woke up soon so he didn’t have to watch Spencer torment himself anymore with staying there. 

 “How are you holding up?” Rossi asked, concern for the young man who he hadn’t seen outside this hospital in days. 

 “Alright, I guess,” Spencer answered truthfully.

 When a comfortable silence fell between the two, the sounds of beeping coming from the heart monitor beating like a slow metronome in the back, Spencer began to laugh at a thought he had. 

 “What’s so funny?” 

 “It’s not funny at all actually,” Spencer admitted and kept chuckling. “It’s just, um, on day three of her coma, I got mad.” 

 “At what?” 

 “At Y/N,” Spencer laughed, clearly needing sleep. “I was mad because when she left, she left me a letter and a ring, promising me she would come back safely, and now.” 

 Spencer's laugh soon faltered into a sob. “And now, she’s like this.” 

 Rossi looked at him with agony, he had never seen Spencer like this. So broken, so upset, so..unknowing. 

 “Spencer, I know it’s really hard to think of right now, but you have to push through,” Rossi told him, leaning forward in his seat. “You and I know she’s too competitive to die, she won’t let it beat her. Think of it as a time out in the game, she needs a second to figure out her game plan so she can come back and win.” 

 Spencer smiled at the analogy, reaching for Y/N’s hand again and squeezing it like he had done many times before. What surprised him this time about this time was, she squeezed back. 

 Spencer’s head jerked up to her eyes to see if hers were open. And low and behold, there they were, sparkling like they normally do and making his heart melt. 

 “Y/N…” Spencer whispered, standing up from his chair and sitting on the bed. His left hand reached up to caress her head. “You’re awake.” 

 “She is,” Rossi said with a bright smile, standing up from his seat. “I’m going to go get the doctor.” He reached his hand over the edge of the bed and squeezed her ankle before leaving.

 “Thank you,” Spencer said and turned back to Y/N. He let out tears from his eyes as he looked down at the woman he loved with all his heart. 

 “Hey, don’t cry,” she soothed, wiping his tears away that fell down his face. “I’m okay, see.” 

 “I know, I know,” he laughed with tears. 

 He reached down and let their lips mold together. He poured all the emotion he could into the kiss, letting go of her hand so he could use both hands to hold her face. Her arms reached up to the short distance so her hands could cup his neck. His lips tasted like coffee, but they were a pain killer for anything Y/N was feeling right now.

 “I love you,” Spencer whispered, his forehead resting on hers when they parted.

 “I love you too,” she mumbled with a smile.

 “Marry me,” Spencer blurted, pulling his forehead off of hers. 

 “What?” 

 “Marry me.” He dropped to one knee at her bedside, fumbling with the ring in its box as he pulled it out of his pocket. “I know that we have an inconvenient job, and terrible luck-”

 “We have the shittiest luck,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. 

 “We do. But I believe...I believe that with you, I am the luckiest man alive. And there’s no way I could spend my life without you because you are the love of my life Y/N Y/L/N. Every moment I didn’t know you were okay, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I-I just can’t imagine me without you.” 

 Y/N had tears pouring out of her eyes now, she loved this man with all her heart and soul. 

 “So, marry me,” Spencer finished, opening the box to reveal the ring Y/N had seen the other night. 

 “Yeah,” Y/N whispered, nodding her head furiously. “Yeah, I’ll marry you.”

 Spencer’s mouth formed a wide smile as he pulled the ring out of the box and placing it on her finger. She reached up, grabbing her face and connected them in a loving kiss full of smiles and tears of joy.

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[newobsessionweekly]

Quarantine games🌿

a/n: someone asked for this, I hope I didn’t let you down. I honestly don’t know where that came from. I have a strange mind and even stranger imagination. So, enjoy! 🌿

warning: maybe language and some explicit stuff. word count: 2.305

Arón Piper x reader 🌿

There are so many things going on in the world right now that you can’t even keep the step up with them. First, Italy confronts with this virus-thing and then you heard numbers too big for you to understand. More than nine hundred of deaths in one day in Italy, those news gave you goosebumps. Then you heard the news about Spain having a bad situation as well. You’ve been carefully every time, but this couldn’t keep you inside for more than four days, otherwise you’d go nuts. So when your best friend, Miguel, called and said that he and some friends wanted a gathering to watch together the new season of Élite, you accepted immediately. Inside Jorge’s apartament in Madrid were nine people and a cat, and the place was almost overcrowded. Two episodes and thirteen songs later, the news about a total lockdown and Spain being closed, gathered you in front of the TV. You are not allowed to leave the house , except for emergencies so even if you tried, you couldn’t reached your apartament, is like in the opposite side of Madrid.

“It’s not a big deal, right? We can get over this together.” Jorge told you and it was an subtle invitation to stay over. And you did stayed. The truth is, you were afraid of this situation and you didn’t want to get through this alone. You weren’t the only one thinking like that so you decided to manage this situation together. Danna was supposed to fly back in Mexic to be with her family, but the flight was cancelled. 

 Though you knew this people before, staying so many days together, you got to know them even better, for example how are they in their private space. A few days later, you finished the last season of Élite and all the food in the apartament. Day five of quarantine bring a bore bigger than the Empire State Building. You slept almost all day and ate, ghosting here and there. Danna let you borrow some clothes from her luggage but today you only could find dresses and fancy clothes. 

“Can somebody borrow me a t-shirt or something?” Ester just washed the laundry and now you need to wait them to dry. You weren’t the only one who wasn’t prepared for so many days away from home, you packed, just in case, for three days. Miguel, Omar and Álvaro weren’t prepared as well, but gladely they could count on Jorge and Arón. The latter was supposed to go visit his father’s family in Germany, but his flight was cancelled as well so he got stuck with you.

“I think I still have some clean ones in my baggage. You can look and take anything you like.” Arón responded from the window frame. He smokes too much when he is bored. And drinks. It’s already the third beer and the night just started. But you don’t want to say anything because it’s none of your business. You must addmit he is the one that caught your attention since the day one. You stalked him on Instagram a few days ago, trying to find something about him, maybe some pictures with a girlfriend or anything, but it´s nothing much. He keeps his life privately and that’s a thing you admire most at him. 

Surprisingly, he has an ordonate luggage and you find rapidly a t-shirt. He had many from expensive brands. You loved one shirt from Monclair, and said “why not?”, he said you could take anything you like. You screamed “Gracias, Arón!” and went for a shower.          

----------

After a warm shower, the anxiety started to spread from your body. When you dressed Arón’s t-shirt, a strage feeling attacked you and made you stare at the image in the mirror. You are wearing a shirt that isn’t yours, is a hot boy’s shirt, which fits you strangely perfect. And this smell... the smell of his cologne haunted you these days, but now is closer than ever and you can enjoy it without raising question marks from anyone. However you wished you could smell it from Arón while he is hugging you. “Nonsense, I am getting nuts!” you thought. But this handsome man would help your fantasies only growing day by day. You shooked your head and walked out of the bathroom, just to found everyone sitting round the coffee table.   

“Finally, we thought you died inside and we were just tossing a coin to see who had to rescue you.”  Miguel laughed and made some space for you to sit next to him.

“Good choice, that one is my favourite!” Arón winked at you and took a sip from a cocktail. 

“Ah, lo siento, I didn’t knew! I can change it if you want.” you said quickly, panicked. He smiled at you and waved his hand as in “keep it”.

“So, the rules are simple. Truth or dare. You don’t make any of them, you receive a punishment, alright?” they decided to play this game to animate a little this flat. All day you almost ignored each other and it wasn’t a wise movement. The depression started to fill in and Jorge, because it was his idea to keep all of you there, was feeling responsable for you bad mood. You played Poker three nights in a row, then “Uno” and even “Activity”. You won at Poker and made Arón kinda mad, but unfortunately lost at the other ones. You and Miguel are not a good pair for games. Jorge spinned the empty beer bottle which pointed Álvaro.

“Aye, amigo, truth or dare?” Jorge smiled wickedly.

“Truth.” Álvaro’s response came and everyone mumbled “chicken” at him. He rolled his eyes and waited for a question.

“What scene did you like filming the most?”

“That sex scene in the pool with you and Georgina.” the answer came and the laughs didn’t waited to burst. Then Álvaro had to dare Mina. “Drink that beer from one sip.” And Mina didn’t think twice before she grabbed the bottle.

“Easy with the beers, alright? There are not many left!” Arón attentioned all of you.

“Sure, we ran out of food and you are worried about the beers.” you like very much to provoke him. Arón looked at you menacing. When Mina spinned, Omar picked the truth.

“What is the funniest memory you have from the set?”

“From season 3?” he asked and Mina approved. “Maybe the one when I was supposed to mime a blowjob and he couldn’t stop laughing. I was bouncing my head up and down for a damn take until I’ve literally got dizzy.” he pointed at Arón and laughed while accepted the middle finger. You tought for a minute, that middle finger is like a signature for him, is one of the many specific things for him. 

“You blame me for laughing but you made some funny sucking noises!” Arón defended himself and you laughed even louder. Despite the noises, Omar could hear Miguel when he chose dare and it wasn’t a great idea.

“Mime a sex scene with anyone in this room.” Omar spoken out the final verdict. Miguel picked you up, despite the fact that you refused to do that with him. You wear some kind of short jeans, but they looked more like underwear, so when Miguel made you bend on one of the countertops, you looked like you were naked. He put his hands on your waist and mimed the “in and out” move behind your back.

“Come on, (y/n), you have to moan to make it credible!” Miguel pinched your arm and that made you sceam. “Well, that wasn’t really a moan, but it was better than nothing!” you could hear everyone laughing behind your back. When the torture finally ended, you faced Miguel with anger.

“I hate you for this!” you said, but he just laughed and passed you so he can also spin the bottle. Arón had a strange look on his face. You didn’t know if it was embarrassment or anger or any other feeling, but something bothered him. The bottle stopped in front of Arón and he choses truth. “What are your top three turn-ons?” Miguel looked at you after he spoke and winked. “Puta mierda!” you thought. Now everyone would know something is going on with you. The truth is you have a crush on Arón and Miguel kinda figured it out. The way he smiles, the way he moves, the way he smokes, everything is so perfect at him. Beside the amazing look, he have a good heart too, he’s a funny one and you find yourself some things in common with him.

“Wearing matching lingerie, playing with my hair and maybe the smell of food cooking.” he answered and it heard some of them whistling while and you almost turned red like a tomato. You are a shy one and dirty stuff made you turn red like a tomato every time.

When the bottle pointed you, almost frozed. Someone out there hates you for some reason, you thought. Arón is the last person you would have wanted to ask you. He smiled wickedly at you, licked his lips and made you pick truth or dare. You choose truth, obviously. “Who here would you most like to make out with?” he asked. ¡Joder!, he’s good at it.

“Pure curiosity or you have something in mind?” you challenged him, smiling like a devil.

“Are you gonna answer that or you want to let me find the answer by myself?” he’s not yielding either.

“I’ll wait to see how long would it take you to find out.”

“Fine, dare. Let two people give you a wet willy at the same time.” you crossed the nose.

“¡Joder!, that is gross! No, absolutely not!” you shooked your head.

“Then you need a punishment, (y/n).” someone finally interrupted the stare contest you and Arón unknowingly held. You found out it was Jorge.

“A punishment given by whom?” you hoped from the bottom of your heart not to hear Arón’s name. Not this time.

“Arón. And you are not allowed to reject this one.” ¡Joder!, it was like the game was against you.

“Siete minutos en el cielo con mi.” the others watched you and Arón as you were a fascinating movie, no one came between you. You had to take some time to understand what he said. Seven minutes in heaven. Seriously? You are not sixteen anymore and you are not trying to have your first kiss. You rolled your eyes. You were convinced that he doesn’t stand you a bit, and now he’s asking you to lockup with him seven minutes to what? Maybe he wanted to tell you to go home. You haven’t really talked to him much and you didn’t know him, but you can say, watching him from distance, he is a great man. And that “bad ass” face and attitude he always shows up, it’s just a mask. You thought he is the sweetest person inside there, because he let you somehow see a little of that side. But you had so many question marks. For something you were sure, you had his attention like he got yours. You couldn’t get him off of your head and that drives you crazy.

“Fine, seven minutes in hell. Ah, perdona me, I wanted to say heaven.” you played pretend because you didn’t had any clue what the hell he have in that beautiful head and just at the thought about staying seven minutes only with him, in a small place, made your stomach hurt in a way it never did before. You followed him into the bathroom and then he locked the door behind you. You wasn’t expecting the bathroom to be this small, but him with his big worked out body, occupies a lot of space. Your mouth was dry and you literally couldn’t help but stare at his lips. If you were uncertain about the answer to that question he asked you, now you are a hundred percent sure he’s the one that turns you on.

“You know, I think I found the answer to that question.” maybe he figured out on his own, because maybe you didn’t know how to play pretend, or maybe around him you can’t control yourself.

“Oh yeah, what’s the answer then?” you looked him bravely in his beautiful brown eyes.

“I am the answer.” he approached and you could smell his cologne, or maybe it was just the t-shirt you’re wearing. “And if I’m right, and I’m pretty sure I’m right.” he leans towards you and whisperes in your ear: “Then maybe you wanna know the real answer to Miguel’s question”

“Why would I?”

“Because it’s you. For months you are the first one on my top three turn-ons list. And I think I’m not the only one here who feels this way.” as an answer to his unspoken question, you closed the distance between you with a kiss full of desire. He doesn’t waste any time and responded with as many passion as you put in that kiss. He grabbed you waist and pulled as close as possible. It was a slow one, like nothing outside didn’t matter anymore. Just the two of you, creating a new world. You pulled away from that kiss when you heard a knock on the door and Jorge’s voice.

“You know, I can even offer you my room if you want to, but don’t take away the bathroom, please!” you heard laughing coming from behind that door and felt your cheeks turning red. You looked at the man in front of you and tried to memorise all his beautiful features. He really admitted somehow he likes you, and you couldn’t stop that stupid smile spreading on your face.

[nyisles]

Magic in the Hamptons

Part Five

part one | part two | part three | part four 

Player: Mathew Barzal 

Words: 3k 

Warnings: language

Notes: long long long long overdue, but i’m too critical of my writing which makes it so hard to write something i feel is good enough for y’all.. But please leave feedback. It makes writing all this feel worth it! also it’s hard to write angst???

         As soon as your foot was set through the door of your apartment you peeled off the islanders t-shirt. It just made you feel dirty and used. You really wanted to be ok with this and not be upset, maybe you were overthinking your relationship/ friendship/ whatever-ship this was with Mat? Though replaying past events in your mind, you didn’t understand how he could’ve possibly thought inviting his ex-girlfriend to the game was a good idea and it did really seem like the two of you were going to be exclusive, it seemed like he was spending all his free time with you. You both were in contact every single day, how could he have possibly had time to do this to you? It honestly didn’t matter anymore. Changing into sweats, you washed your face trying to get rid of the redness from all the tears you’d let out on the ride home. You just needed to cool down and process things. Flicking on netflix, you settled on watching some John Mulaney special, you were on the market for a pick me up that actually made you laugh out loud. 

         Maybe ten minutes into the special you heard your apartment door buzz, you weren’t expecting any company and it was already past midnight and you didn’t order any take out. Going up to your buzzer, you pressed the ‘talk’ button. “Hello?” you questioned, pressing the listen button to hear the mystery guest had to say. “I just want to talk.” Your heart dropped into your stomach hearing the male voice. “So talk.” You said to Mat. There weren’t any voices he could’ve been confused with. You just wanted to know why he was here and not with Whitney, or more importantly at his own apartment. “Face to face, (Y/N).” 

         Letting out a sigh, you had no idea why, but you pressed the unlock button letting him into your building. Realizing you had a minute or two to yourself before he was able to climb up the stairs in your walk-up, you headed into the kitchen taking out a wine glass and filling it up to the brim. Taking a huge gulp before the knock on the door interrupted you. Behind the door was Mat looking awfully disheveled. His gameday suit was now missing the blazer, and what was formerly a crisp white button down was now a wrinkly wine stained mess. At least you both were on the same page about having a tall glass of wine before you spoke. “So can I come in or are you going to make me stand here?” He said plainly. No smile, no anger in his voice either, his eyes did look tired, but to be fair the boy had just played a professional hockey game. He seemed completely indifferent to the situation. No words exited your mouth, you just stepped to the side opening the door a bit wider so he could make his way into your apartment. Normally he makes himself comfortable on the couch in your living room but he just paced around a little unsure of where to go. Looking at your kitchen counter he let out an uncomfortable laugh seeing the wine, “Looks like we both had the same idea...” he trailed off scratching the back of his neck. 

         “Cut the bullshit.” was the first thing that came out of your mouth. It was so honest that it almost took you by surprise. If Mat being here brought anything good into your life, at least it was a little bit of a backbone. “What are you doing here? You don’t understand what ‘leave me alone’ means?” You said moving into the kitchen, leaving him to follow behind you.

         Looking back you saw his jaw clench, “If I recall your text it was ‘don’t contact me’ which can be interpreted a little differently.” Mat said starting to get a bit angrier in his tone, probably because of the way you were acting, but he deserved it. He really made you look stupid in front of a large group of people you were still getting to know, most of your interactions were while you were intoxicated. Mat had to realize you were in a vulnerable state, he had brought you into his world, and then he did that. “And by the way, have you ever thought about how you embarrassed me?” You were mid-sip of your wine when you choked a little bit, not believing one word of what he was saying. You embarrassing him? All it took was that one little sentence to completely get you in your head. You understood you didn’t quite fit the bill of what a WAG looked like or acted like or how they always came through to games in head to toe designer. Or maybe you embarrassed him in the way you were acting - as if the two of you were a couple? You were unsure, but it quickly made your eyes burn, feeling another round of tears just ready to go. “If you felt that way you should’ve just let me stay home.”

         “If I had known that you would just walk out on me, I probably would’ve.” it’s when he said that the tears started to roll down your face. His face didn’t even show any sort of remorse when he recognized what he said struck a nerve. This wasn’t the Mat you knew. That Mat you’d grown to like so much was much softer, he’d make you laugh at any opportunity and contrary to what he’d let his friends know, he was sensitive. You’d seen him tear up during the episode of the office when Jim and Pam got married. “So you’ve come over here to make me feel worse?” You said quietly not feeling as strong as you had in the beginning of the conversation. “You can leave now, you win. You’ve made me cry… a second time in 24 hours, okay?”

         “I just want to have one honest conversation with you.” Mat said, grabbing the wine glass of your hand and putting it down on the counter looking directly into your eyes. It was the first time his hazel eyes had pierced your soul in a way that made you uncomfortable. This was the first time his gaze made you feel like you weren’t in your own home, but some strange alternate universe. “I’m fucking mad, you know why? I invited this girl, who I thought was cool to come hang out with my friends and I on an important night for me to then make me look like a fucking criminal after.”

         You let out this startled laugh, “Which girl are you referring to? Me or your ex? Because I don’t remember thinking that I was going to be part of some bachelor episode fighting for your attention. Stupidly enough, I thought things between us were going to turn into something.”

         “Yeah, well you sure as hell fooled me too.” Mat spat out.

         “You realize how fucked up in the head you are for inviting two girls to the game, don’t you?” you said, raising your voice, wiping away some of the tears, now letting your sadness turn into anger. You were flopping back and forth between emotions and it was exhausting. “Am I some sort of joke to you? Just a friend who you kiss when your girlfriend is out of town.”

         “Fuck this, I’m going home. Keep feeling bad for yourself, (Y/N). It’s pathetic.” was all that Mat could say as he looked around at everything in your kitchen except for you. “You won’t even let me talk” He said while you let out another laugh, this time exaggerated and loud and full of disdain, you picked up your wine glass taking another large sip, finishing off whatever was left in the glass. “You should be with the girl you flew in from out of town, Matty. She was so thrilled you left her ticket that I’m surprised she let you get away.” you said, doing your best to imitate her voice when you said his name, it still rang so clearly in your head. You could only imagine Whitney being in the passenger seat of his car right now, waiting for this conversation to be over so the two of them could go out on some fancy date at a fancy restaurant where he’d take someone who wasn’t so embarrassing. Maybe that’s why most of your dates had just been at each other's apartments. 

         “If you really think that I did that to you then you’re right. I have no purpose in coming here. You don’t know me at all.” Mat said, he made his way back to the front door of your apartment seeing his clothes in a messy pile. You could see him roll his eyes giving them a kick further in the corner, “You should wash them before finding a way to give them back to me.” and with that he left, slamming the door behind him. 

- - - 

         You hadn’t spoken to Mat for a week, and in hockey season that might as well have counted for a whole month between the home games, away games and travel time. To be fair you hadn’t planned on speaking to him anytime soon, you did though have your friends keep tabs on Whitney, who they reported was on a flight home the morning after the game. What you did know was that the Isles had been on a bit of a losing streak, and it didn’t even bring you the joy you thought it might knowing Mat would be pissed off. You did get a sweet text from Grace inviting you out to lunch though you politely declined saying you were feeling a bit overwhelmed from a busy work week. What you didn’t expect was another buzz at your apartment door. “It’s Meg…” “And Grace.” “And Syd.” You heard the three separate voices, which honestly made you a little bit uncomfortable. You could pretend you weren’t home, or you could tell them you were feeling sick, but both options just felt wrong to a group of girls who’d done nothing but try to make you feel welcome into their group. It was practically an obligation not to leave three pregnant women standing in the chilly october air, so you buzzed them in. 

         “We come with gifts” Megan said when you popped your door open seeing them with brown take away bags from your favorite sushi place. It was all so odd to you knowing that these girls had taken you in a little too prematurely, because surely you were finished with Mat. He had made that very clear the night he left your apartment. He didn’t want much to do with you, and there wasn’t much you wanted to do with him. He’d played you since you’d first met him at Sydney’s wedding. The first strike was him not texting you for weeks, the second being the time Tito interrupted your date to talk about Whitney, the third being the home opener. You had no more chances left to give. Weren’t the early stages of talking to someone supposed to be fun and easy? You’d had the same amount of fun times and dates as fights which was ridiculous. You weren’t made to be some athlete’s girlfriend and Mat had kindly reminded you that during your fight when he called you embarrassing. When you recounted the events to your friends you left that part out, you didn’t want to even bring it up, it just hurt too much. There were a lot of slight digs that you didn’t want to bring up because they hit differently.

         “If i’d known you girls were going to force lunch upon me I would’ve met you at the restaurant instead of making you all walk up four flights of steps.” speaking softly you invited them in to put the bags down on the coffee table in the living room figuring you all could eat there. “Well we have a lot of catching up to do, so this works.” Sydney said bringing in more bags of food, placing them on the table, as Grace held up a bouquet of flowers. “From Mat” she said softly. You gulped, taking them from her, putting them on a side table plucking out the note. “I guess we all have a lot of catching up to do.” you muttered opening up the card beginning to read it aloud. “These don’t even cover half of how sorry I am. I’m -” you stopped reading aloud and silently instead. 

‘These don’t even cover half of how sorry I am. I wasn’t honest with you and I'm miserable thinking of everything I said. I wish I could re-do that conversation at your apartment. Sounds stupid, but it’s even stupider making some florist write out this card. Please call me. - MB.’

         “He’s right, he really is miserable.” Meg said, as you looked up at her, Grace shot her a glare. “Megan… we didn’t read the card.” You couldn’t help but to smile, it felt better having them here as opposed to your other girlfriends. Your girlfriends didn’t quite get it, and they didn’t know Mat. They didn’t understand how in such a short time you had become so connected to Mat and how that was ripped away from you in minutes and a fight that was so meaningless and led to no real resolution. 

         “Well the flowers are lovely, but I don’t think I want to call anyone.” 

         “Just think about it. We can all agree Mat wasn’t himself, it’s fucked.” Grace said, “Now let’s just eat, I’m tired from all those steps. I gotta refuel.” The girls managed to spend the rest of the lunch not pestering you so much, just discussing upcoming halloween plans, babies, and how to get you to go to lunch with them more often. It was refreshing and honestly quite nice. 

- - - 

         It's been another week, and another month in hockey time. Ever since the girls had come to your apartment with their ulterior motives of getting you to talk to Mat, he had stepped his game up. The poor boy had tried to call your cell phone at least five times within the past two days. He managed to sprinkle in some creative ‘miss you’ texts without being so blatantly obvious. Didn’t matter though, as fate would have it you’d find him in a place you least expected it. Right in the middle of a grocery store, with Tito. The two of them laughing in the baking aisle as you watched Tito try to decide between two different boxes of cake mix. You wanted to turn around and run. Leave the cart full of groceries but you’d accidentally bumped into someone else’s cart trying to make the u-turn out of the aisle. “Shit” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact even though you felt their gaze burning into the side of your face. Hearing footsteps behind you and his voice calling out your name you politely turned around. You needed more self restraint. You watched him pick up his pace stepping in front of your cart, gripping onto it so you couldn’t roll it away. “I’ve been calling you. Texting too...” 

         “I don’t really have much to say.” speaking softly staring down at his beat up stan smiths that used to sit at your front entrance because he insisted that his mom raised him properly and he wouldn’t track his mud around your apartment. Slowly raising your gaze you noticed how different he looked since the last time you’d spoken. He just looked exhausted, the dark circles around his eyes a little bit more prominent. You’d recognized that the team was moving into a more game heavy part of their schedule so you tried to excuse it as that, and not the fact he was sending you late night texts trying to fix something that seemed too broken to repair. “I just… don’t have anything to say to someone that thinks so poorly of me.” 

         “(Y/N)” he said, taking in a deep breath, you couldn’t tell where he was going with this, and you knew he didn’t even know where he was going to go with this. He’d already groveled through the card and voicemails. “You know that’s not true at all. I have no problem making a scene in this store if it gets you to let me talk to you for just ten minutes to explain.” 

         “You might embarrass me in the way I embarrassed you.” was all you could say. God, his insults still stung and bringing them up again as you stood in front of him only made your eyes start to well up again. Embarrassing and feeling sorry for yourself, just as he had originally thought. Moving closer to you, he placed his hand gently on your upper arm that was still holding onto the cart. You wanted so badly to pull away, but he felt comforting. Normally with other guys you never had such trouble blowing them off, but everything about being with Mat felt different and maybe that’s why it hurt so much to be betrayed by him. “I think… no, I know my worst trait is speaking out of my ass. Now when can we talk, maybe privately? You deserve a hell of a lot more answers than I was able to give you before.”

         You shook your head looking anywhere other than his eyes that were dead set on you. Biting your lip you just shrugged, “Your place? I do have some shirts to return.” He nodded finally getting what he wanted. Pulling you close by the arm he was holding onto he kissed the top of your head. It wasn’t meant to be flirty, just something he’d done to try and comfort you. You were bothered by how the affection didn’t bother you, it didn’t make you feel any better about your situation, but you also didn’t want to claw his eyes out. “I’m leaving for some away games tomorrow, but I’ll text you later, yeah?”

         “Yeah. I’ll be around.”

[ghostbustermelanieking]

oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma

in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot

half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out

after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)

my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point

back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure

another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."

before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode

while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!

i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts

the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")

this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc

the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)

the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open

my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps

the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death

186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week

i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)

my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin

i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy

my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)

when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left

i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting

after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma

one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day

so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere

i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again

my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)

this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process

[mystic-helena]

S/o who likes to sing!

Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, and Belphie (obey me!)

This is my first time writing anything at all, and I disappointed myself because it didn't turn out very well and Belphie's part was way too short-

Hope you enjoy it!

-Lena (yeah, I changed my name akzihxjs)

@drxxmofyou

Lucifer

In your defense this wasn't planned.

You only were going to try to cook something edible from the kitchen and be right back to your room.

And put some music on at a totally not acceptable volume.

At four in the morning.

Ok, maybe this isn't the best plan, but it is the best thing you could think at that hour.

Anyway, that was what you were going to do.

Now you were singing Bring me to life, progressively augmenting the volume until you were just shouting the lyrics like you were on a concert, jumping around the room dancing and having the time of your life.

Also ignoring the cup of noodles waiting patiently for you at the microwave.

Lucifer had enough of listening someone yelling and honestly, he was seriously thinking about scare the shit out of whoever was the source of the noise.

While he stormed down the stairs in your direction the song came to an end and you turned to your D.D.D and started looking for another one- until you found the perfect song. It was literally named Perfect.

The first born was about to open the door just when you started singing: this time sweetly and calm.

At that very moment he stood still and remembered why he loves you with all his heart. Anyways, nothing could go wrong from taking a peek of the inside of the kitchen.

Inside the kitchen and long forgotten about the food, was a happy and radiant y/n with their eyes closed, gesturing dramatically with one and holding a mic wooden spoon with the other.

The demon was now peeking his head through the door with his s/o's back facing him, so there was only one thing to do.

He walked in quietly and hugged you from behind, humming softly along the song.

That caused you a nearly heart attack and you algo let out a yelp.

It took you a second to come back to your senses and keep singing, leave the improvised mic now at the counter and turn around in his arms to face him with a lovely smile.

Mammon

Like almost every day Mammon slammed the door open and seconds later was lying in your bed, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom to start ranting about every mean thing his brothers told him and the new plan he made to make easy money.

Sure, he has a huge little crush on you and likes to get to your nerves from time to time, but he would never disrespect your privacy and that was the reason he always wait for you looking at his D.D.D and facing the opposite direction of your bathroom door.

There are several days when he stared or kinda zoomed out looking at the black screen because a) his battery ran out or b) he just didn't want to be scrolling through Devilgram or either reading the sometimes mean comments on his posted pics.

Today was an exception. He's been the whole day singing under his breath a concrete song to prove a point he's smarter than his dear brothers think he is, the point was check if you pay the same attention to him as him to you- which you obviously did, he is your first and favorite demon of the family, not to mention he is your love interest.

Ok so, the second born turned off his phone (it can be called a phone too, i guess?) and closed his eyes when he heard you raising the volume and start singing Fly me to the moon, the same song he's been waiting for you to sing.

Happiness filled him as he heard his beloved y/n sang happily, muffed by the sound of water falling and a wall that separate them from him.

Once you finished showering and the song came to the end, you came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body and wet hair, to be received by a teary demon who was covering his face with his hands.

“Mammon? what’s wro-” you started to say concerned, but then you saw his smile and you understood. Those were tears of happiness. Your body moved on it’s own and hugged him.

“Y/n?” “Yes?” “I... Please don’t tell my brothers that I cried” “I won’t” “Y-yeah, ‘cause The Great Mammon doesn’t cry y’know and-” “I know, ‘you should be glad ‘cause the great mammon is allowing you to hug him’“ “Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say...”

He was actually going to say “I love you”, but we’ll leave the confessions for another day.

Leviathan

You love singing and this lil’ shit he knew it, so he proposed to watch an anime with a catchy opening.

The first few episodes you just ignored it, but the more times you listened it the louder you sang.

And now you both were screaming your lungs out while watching the opening of the last episode of the first season of My Hero Academia.

Levi loved the way your eyes seem to light up when you sing and how you take his hand and dance to the rhythm of the music but he would never tell you that.

Also, he loves you more than he love Ruri-chan and that was something he told you whispering, when you where asleep.

Anyway, in this very moment you were very bored and a brilliant idea crossed your mind.

How would your boyfriend react to you singing something special for him? What would he do if you sang your love for him?

You didn't know. Yet.

The avatar of envy was chilling at his room playing some online game (Devilwatch? League of Demons? Something like that) when you opened the door and quickly let yourself in.

At first he didn't even knew you were in there, but seconds later you started singing and making your way to him.

Poor boy blushed hard

His beautiful s/o was telling him that they love him just the way he is.

Was he back to the heaven? Did his brothers convinced y/n to prank him? Or was he dreaming? Yeah, that must be a dream, anytime he would wake up and-

The screen of the computer turned black because of the inactivity and his character died- he didn't care about that.

You were now turning his chair so he was facing you and he almost choked because your face was inches away from his own. Almost is the key word.

"… And when you smile- the whole world stops and stares for a while… 'Cause boy you're amazing, just the way you are."

The lyrics ended, you leaned in and kissed him.

Belphegor

Who would have thought the avatar of literally laziness had trouble sleeping? Nobody. And they were right, he didn't have trouble sleeping, Belphie just like to hear you sing.

It all started one day at your room. Mammon didn't have any sleep last night and you like the good soul you are wanted to help him, so you forced him to lay down with his head on your lap and while your fingers played with his hair, your voice sang a calming song.

Ten seconds later the second born was out.

And Belphie realized. He wanted that too.

Two weeks later, the same situation happened repeatedly and he was seriously thinking about doing something. What, you may ask? Something.

It seemed suspicious for you. Bel, the boy who sleeps all day and night, was now telling you he couldn't get at least five minutes of sleep? Yeah, he answered. Ok then, you believe him. Really y/n?

And this is the story of why you currently are singing while he's fake asleep.

He loves listening your voice and is more than happy with the fact that despite he hurt you, you still want him around.

[littlespoonevan]

i think you’ve done one before where ian and mickey run into trevor? but i’d love another one like that. or caleb. or kash. or literally anyone from the earlier seasons (could even be an old school mate who we don’t know!) and who has a shocked reaction that they are still together/married.

anon said:prompt: ian and mickey introducing each other as husbands at a group event scenario

so because i combined two prompts here, have two blasts from the past!! (though idk who’s gonna be happy to see caleb lmao hopefully the 2nd guest makes up for it) i hope u like it!!! :D

*

Mickey loosens his tie as he scans the room, idlywondering when exactly he’ll stop putting himself in uncomfortable socialsituations for Ian’s sake. Then again, Ian walking towards him in his fancyblazer with the top few buttons of his shirt undone and a bottle of beer ineither hand is a very particular fantasy he’s enjoying right now.

“How’re you holding up?” Ian asks, handing one of thebeers off to Mickey and sliding his free arm around Mickey’s waist. It’s prettyfucking ridiculous how quickly it makes Mickey relax but he figures he marriedIan for a reason.

When Ian had first told him about the benefit all theSouth Side emergency services were holding to raise money for a new hospitalwing Mickey had thought it sounded like his own personal version of hell. Buthe’d realised pretty quickly it was also Ian’s personal version of hell so he’dagreed to go.

Now that he’s here he’s gotta admit it’s not so bad.The charming, confident persona Ian used to wear back when he’d drag Mickey toafter-club parties back in the day seems come back to his husband easily enoughwith Ian flashing everyone hundred-watt smiles and schmoozing with thehigher-ups. There have been a few moments where Mickey’s felt uncomfortablestanding next to him but only because of his total lack of understanding aboutall the medical bullshit everyone is spewing rather than him actually feelinglike he’s being excluded from the conversation.

Plus, he can’t help the way he inwardly preens everytime Ian introduces him as his husband.

“’m surviving,” Mickey tells him, leaning into Ian’sside. “This place’s got good beer.”

“Its one saving grace,” Ian jokes, dropping a kiss onMickey’s temple. “Sorry, I know you’re probably bored. Just another hour or twoand we can hit the Alibi.”

The last thing Mickey wants to do is stay out evenlonger when Ian’s standing next to him looking like he does but he hums in acquiescenceanyway. Not like Ian’ll be complaining later on.

“It’s fine, man, I get it,” Mickey says, turning intoIan so they’re facing each other and putting his free hand on Ian’s hip. “You’restill on probation and it’s a fuckin’ miracle your old job even took you back.You need to stay here and act like employee of the month – I know the deal.”

Ian’s beaming at him by the time he’s finishedtalking and Mickey clears his throat, aware his ears are probably turning red.

“You’re the best,” Ian tells him, the words half lostto Mickey’s mouth as he darts in to kiss him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mickey huffs when he pulls away, tryingnot to act as flustered as he feels. “You can show me how much you appreciateme later.”

Ian’s smile turns devilish and he uses the arm aroundMickey’s waist to draw him in closer. “Oh, I plan to.”

Mickey’s just about to incite a game of chicken whenIan suddenly freezes and Mickey raises his gaze from Ian’s mouth to his eyes.Turning to look over his shoulder he attempts to follow Ian’s gaze but there’stoo many unrecognisable faces around for him to tell who Ian’s looking at.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, squeezing Ian’s hip to gethis attention.

Ian blinks, looking back to Mickey with an expressionthat’s some weird mix of panicked, apologetic and determined. “My ex is overthere.”

Mickey whips around again to look before he remembershe has no clue what Ian’s ex even looks like. “The firefighter?” he guesses.

Ian nods, offering him a tight smile. “Caleb,” hesays. “It’s fine, I don’t think he saw me.”

Which is probably the stupidest fucking thing Iancould’ve said because, of course, five seconds later someone’s calling out adisbelieving, “Ian Gallagher?”

Ian plasters a fake smile on his face and Mickeytakes a moment to pray for patience before he turns around to eye up the guymaking his way towards them. He’s attractive, in that clean-cut all-American way.He looks like the very definition of normal which Mickey knows just translatesto boring in Ian’s brain.

Ian had told him a little about him when they’dtalked shit through in prison. Said he’d been Ian’s attempt at a “normal”relationship that didn’t require all that much emotional effort because he’dpretty much been trying to haul himself out of a depressive episode when they’dmet. He’d also admitted he’d been trying to shove Mickey out of his mind at thetime which had hurt but he gets it, he thinks. God knows, he’d tried to drinkIan away in Mexico. It doesn’t hurt all that much now with Ian’s arm around himand Ian’s ring on his finger.

“Hey Caleb,” Ian greets half-heartedly when Calebreaches them and Mickey takes a drink of his beer to hide his laugh. It’s astark contrast to the enthusiastic friendliness Ian’s been sporting all night.

“How’ve you been?” Caleb asks, all earnestness thatMickey doesn’t trust for a second. “It’s been what? Nearly four years?”

“Yeah, I guess about that,” Ian agrees, voicecompletely neutral. “I’ve been good. I’m-“ he pauses and looks down at Mickeywith a smile that makes his knees weak. “Well, I’m married now,” Ian  says proudly, arm tightening around Mickey. “Thisis my husband, Mickey.”

Caleb’s mouth drops open in shock as his eyes flashto Mickey and Mickey immediately feels himself puffing up his chest. He’s readyfor whatever bullshit this fucker tries to throw at him.

“Wow,” Caleb splutters after a beat. “Congratulations.I- you’re his ex, Mickey, right?”

Mickey clears his throat and rubs at his eyebrow,pointedly using his left hand so he can show off his rings. “Not exactly his exanymore.”

“Right!” Caleb says quickly. “Sorry. You get what Imean, just- you two were broken up before.”

“Yeah, almost the biggest fucking mistake of my life,”Ian cuts in and he’s over-exaggerating a little for Caleb’s sake but Mickey canstill tell he means it. “No way am I letting him go again.” He directs the lastpart to Mickey and Mickey can only hold his gaze for a couple of seconds beforehe has to look away, throat feeling thick with emotion.

Caleb looks at a complete loss for words and Mickeyfeels privately vindicated. Yeah, gocrawl back to whatever hole in the past you came from, he thinksmutinously.

“That’s um- I’m glad you’re so happy,” Caleb says finallyand Mickey’s just narrowing his eyes to try and figure out if he means it whenhe hears another familiar voice calling his name.

“MickeyMilkovich?”

And Christ, Mickey never thought he’d ever be happyto hear a fucking cop calling hisname.

He promptly turns away from Caleb, hearing Ian’sexcuse of, “Sorry, an old friend,” before he turns with him and then they’reboth standing face to face with Tony fucking Markovich.

“Don’t tell me you’re a cop now,” Tony jokes andMickey had not expected him to lookso happy to see him.

“I don’t think they let ex-cons join the force,” hesays, blinking in surprise when Tony only laughs. Huffing an unsure laugh ofhis own, he nods in Ian’s direction. “Nah, I’m only here for Ian.”

“He’s my arm candy,” Ian cuts in, moving his arm fromMickey’s waist to drape it around his neck.

Mickey rolls his eyes but watches Tony carefully forhis reaction.

“Glad to hear you two worked shit out,” Tony says,looking painfully sincere, and since when the fuck did Tony the cop know theywere even together? “I was always rooting for you two.”

“I’ve got him locked down all official now,” Ianboasts, flashing his ring proudly at Tony.

“No way!” Tony exclaims, grin becoming impossiblywider. “That’s amazing, congrats! Let me get you two a beer later, consider ita belated wedding gift.”

Ian barks out a laugh beside him and Mickey is soconfused right now. “Hey, how’s your boyfriend?” Ian asks then. And what thefuck?

“We’re living together now,” Tony admits sheepishlyand before Mickey can stop himself he blurts out, “You’re gay?”

Tony laughs, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, Ian hadthe same reaction when he discovered that little revelation a few years ago.”

“It’s Fiona’s fault,” Ian tells him conspiratoriallyand Mickey finds a laugh bubbling out of him unexpectedly.

“Dan’s around here somewhere,” Tony says, craning hisneck to scan the room. “Hey, how about I find him and we get that drink? I haveto hear the proposal story.”

“You sure?” Mickey scoffs. “It’s a long one.”

“Eh these things are always boring anyway,” Tonyshrugs, gesturing to the banquet hall at large. “It’ll keep me entertained forthe night.”

Ian snorts beside him and waves Tony away. “Go findDan. We’ll meet you at the bar.”

Tony nods before taking his leave and Mickeyimmediately twists to face Ian once he’s gone. “What the fuck just happened?”

Ian barks out a laugh, depositing his beer bottle ona nearby table to wrap both his arms around Mickey. “The cop that you used toterrorise as a teenager just saved you from an awkward encounter with my ex.That’s what happened.”

Mickey shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ve had a lotof fuckin’ weird social interactions when you’ve dragged me to this kinda shitbut that has to be the weirdest.”

Ian laughs again, hugging him close and pressing hislips to Mickey’s forehead. “Just accept the free beer and remember it’sprobably good for us to have a friend who’s a cop.”

“A gayfriend who’s a cop, apparently,” Mickey scoffs, leaning his forehead againstIan’s shoulder a moment later. “Tony better not cheap out on the beer.”

Ian rubs his hand across Mickey’s shoulder blades, breathinghim in. “Pretty sure he’s on better pay than both of us so I think we’re good.”

“Come on,” Ian says then, catching Mickey’s hands anddragging in the direction of the bar. “I’ll buy you a shot of tequila first tocalm you down.”

“I can think of something else that’d calm me down,”Mickey says pointedly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom and raising hiseyebrows.

Ian halts, sizing him up for a moment and Mickeyknows he’s won before Ian even opens his mouth.

“Tony won’t miss us for a couple of minutes, right?”

Mickey grins, triumphant, and begins towing Ian inthe opposite direction.

He could get used to these benefit things.

*

[hippychick006]

12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap

Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.

Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey  

My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.

Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.

There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).

Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.

Anyway moving swifly on…

First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)

Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.

I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.

Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.

After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door.  Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.

Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome

Love it.

They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”

A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least.  In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.

The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.

Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!

Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing.  They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.  

The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse.  Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters!  Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.

Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival.  Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.

We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.

Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong.  Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,

Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.

Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!

Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –

Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam.  Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh

While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia.  Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.

Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.

Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!

Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,

Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.

Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)

Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.

Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.

Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.

Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.

Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.

Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).

Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.

Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?!  Alicia? Surely not.

We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.

Turns out it’s Mary.  Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.

Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.

Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?

I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John).  Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.

Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!

She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”

Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.

Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...

Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.

Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.

Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.

Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.

Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?

Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff

Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,

Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.

I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!  

They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene.  They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.

Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!

Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.

Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.

Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this?  *Fans self

Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.

Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”

Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.

Wait, what?  But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.

Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.

Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door

Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.

Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.

Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on!  You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.

Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)

Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?

Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do?  Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”

Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.

Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.

Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,

Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.

Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)

They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.

Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.

Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.

Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs!  Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!

Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?).  Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.

Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]

THIS IS MY SHOW!  What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas?  Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].

Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.

Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!

Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].

In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight.  He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa” killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]

Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant.  Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room).  Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.

Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room. 

Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.

Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.  

Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.

While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”.  My boys working in sync!

Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.

Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.

Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing

Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.”  They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.

Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.

Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?

Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.

Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”

Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun

Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?

Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first. 

The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?).  The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.

As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier).  She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa.  Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.

Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.

Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).

Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.

Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”

[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]

Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?

They all turn and look at Bucky.

Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show].  It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)

Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.

Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever

I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.

I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.  

Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.

Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,

Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.

Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.

I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”

Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)

Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.

Dean: Well, she’s not alone.

Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]

Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.”  [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam].  Mary asks how it would work.   

Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]

Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands

Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.

I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala

Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW.  I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.

It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter Eight

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 3,900

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collapsing into one of the comfier library chairs set between some stacks, George took a sip of the small glass of whiskey she figured she'd earned. She'd just scolded a fucking demon from hell. What was she thinking?! It had been pretty cool, but pissing off an evil, powerful being was maybe not the smartest. She could have gotten herself killed!

It had been unavoidable though; upon realizing that Demon Tim must have been the reason they suspected her of being involved in Jack's disappearance, she had been furious. Not only was it not true, it was insulting, humiliating, and just plain rude. It was also simply a bad plan. So, she took it upon herself to enlighten him and to correct his offensive insinuations. Hopefully, it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass.

Her focus shifted then to Jack. Reflecting over her time there, there were things she remembered having happened on the show. The refugees in the bunker, AU Michael attacking, Jack losing his powers, Lucifer dude being just a regular human dude now; all of it was familiar, even when it terrified her (see: AU Michael attack). But, when they told her Jack was missing, she was thrown off at first. It wasn't something she remembered seeing on the show. Then again, she'd only just finished binging from season 10 to the end of 13 a couple weeks ago and hadn't started 14 yet. So, maybe she was past the point of being able to tell when things were part of their prescribed timeline or not? Therefore, even if Jack had been kidnapped on the show, she wouldn't have any info for them, right?

The problem was, the more she thought about it the more she began to believe she had seen something about this storyline. Jack being missing, the three of them going to save him-

Was it Ryan telling you about some episode where they rescued Jack in the redwoods? They had filmed it on location at some tourist spot you went to as a kid all the time and she thought you'd think it was cool… where was that?

She couldn't remember, and it frustrated her. She was also worried that she was making this all up just to be helpful.

Taking another sip, she allowed her thoughts to wander between episode scenes like an internal microfiche as she tried to nail down her recollection, No, I can definitely picture all four of them in the woods and fighting. Someone had kidnapped Jack, wanting his powers for something… was it the angels?

"Well, that was interesting," Dean stated, startling her out of her thoughts. The three of them were walking into the library a surprisingly short while after she left them with Tim.

Looking up at them, she set the glass down on a nearby shelf and stood up. Dean didn't elaborate further while he poured his own glass. The expressions each one wore were indiscernible and she grew nervous.

"Oh?" George raised a brow and looked between them, "Did he talk? Because you know, I've actually been sitting here thinking about this whole situation and something about Jack going missing is very familiar. Now, unfortunately, I am a few seasons behind, and-""

Dean took a sip, looking at her with curious amusement, and interrupted, "I was talking about you."

George looked surprised and then grimaced, "No, no. I'm not interesting, not at all. I'm the exact opposite of interesting. I'm-I'm… I'm…"

"Uninteresting?" Castiel offered helpfully as she struggled to find the words. Sam and Dean rolled their eyes in unison.

"Right! Thank you, Castiel. I'm highly uninteresting." She gulped a bit and wrung her hands as the three of them kept watching her. In the silence, she nervously looked in Castiels direction and blurted quickly, "I'm also George! Hi! Really nice to meet you! Big fan!"

"Nice to meet you," Castiel smiled awkwardly and nodded a greeting, looking at the other two with a confused expression, "...fan of what?"

"Right, positively boring," Sam interjected sarcastically before he could stop himself. He definitely thought she was interesting. First she's just a beautiful woman, then she's a beautiful woman he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago, and now she was a beautiful woman from an alternate reality where his life was a prime time television show… who he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago. 'Uninteresting' was definitely not an adjective he'd use for her.

Dean snorted, "Yea, boring is the last word I would use to describe that scene earlier. You caused Tim to sing like a canary, by the way."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief, "Say what?"

"I almost say we hire her to be our monster torture hypeman," He joked, looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

Sam ignored him and addressed Geroge's question, "After you left, Tim-"

"Cleetus," Dean interjected sarcastically.

"Cleetus… well, he sort of... started crying? He said he'd tell us everything we wanted to know if we promised to keep you away from him." Sam looked strangely apologetic and she let a few nervous chuckles escape, unsure whether to believe what they were saying.

"We think you hurt his feelings," Castiel explained further. "Which fortunately seemed to motivate him to talk, so thank you."

"I guess his demon mommy didn't teach him about sticks and stones," Dean cracked, taking another swig.

"Huh. OK. Neat!" George didn't know what to say; she was confused and strangely proud of herself. But she didn't want them to think she wasn't chill, so she shrugged nonchalantly, "You're welcome, I guess. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not caught up to the current season of my timeline but I think I remember this whole Jack-gone-missing thing a little bit. I want to say you all track him down somewhere in… Oregon? Washington? I'm getting a Northwest-ish feeling." She began unconsciously pacing around the room, gesturing energetically with her hands. "I can picture a battle taking place in the woods...Jack being in danger, you all being in danger, too...some fighting...maybe someone losing the fight? Or getting really hurt," She glanced worriedly at Castiel. He'd be the only actor they'd axe of the three of them, so it stood to reason he'd be the most likely to die if she was right.

Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean asked, "Fine, I'll bite. Do you know a city? A time-frame? Who we're fighting? Anything specific?"

George paused and then slumped a bit in defeat, "No. I've only really watched up through, like, literally now. Other than random things I've heard or seen in passing, I don't know anything that's happened since ya'll got back from the apocalypse world. Been purposefully trying to avoid spoilers, too, which is a decision I now regret, obviously."

"OK, well look, sweetheart, it's OK," Dean began, in an embarrassingly condescending, douchey tone, "We don't expect you to help us. I mean, we're grateful about the assist with Cleetus, obviously but this-" Dean vaguely motioned in her direction and she raised an offended eyebrow, "-was obviously just a weird magical mess that Rowena left for us to clean up yet again. So, you just sit back and relax, and once we find Jack we'll figure out how to get you back home in a jiff, OK?" He winked and finger gunned at her, adding, "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." In his way, Dean was trying to convey to her a sense of ease and comfort that they would take care of things. But, unsurprisingly, he came off incredibly dismissive and patronizing. Her cheeks flushed an angry red; she'd had it up to here with him by now.

Sam and Castiel exchanged nervous glances at the look on her face and Sam tried to stop it before the inevitable happened, "Uh, Dean, mayb-"

Cutting him off, George slowly walked toward Dean, eyes blazing, "Listen sweet cheeks." She had a polite smile on her face as she tried her hardest to muster up the same condescending, silky, sweet Dean-tone, "I'm sympathetic to the fact that you can't help but be an insufferably arrogant ass most of the time-that's just how you were written," for a split second she saw Dean's cool-guy-smug-face falter and she relished it. She could tell she landed a blow, even if it was a small one, "but maybe you could do us all a favor and try to ignore your cro-magnon dated natural urges and attempt to be open minded for once in your life? Just try to consider the fact that, like it or not, I might not be a total useless red-shirt? That maybe I-once again the lone female in the entire world according to Supernatural-might actually be useful? Hmm? Might actually have useful-albeit vague-information for you? Or would taking your lead from a woman be too threatening to you overbearing, uber-macho, 'we-get-it-you're-totally-straight' masculinity?"

Dean's head jerked back in offense, "Now, wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," She mocked him in a deep, goofy tone, high-fiving herself internally. Nailed it! She'd always hated how damn smug his character was. Yes, fine, he was hot and charming and smart as fuck and right at least like 75% of the time, but he didn't have to be so fucking arrogant about it all the time. She preferred a man with some humility.

Sam was smirking at the look on Dean's face and muttered teasingly, "How does it feel, Cleetus?"

"Except, you actually don't." Cas interjected begrudgingly, as he thoroughly enjoyed watching Dean get verbally bitch-slapped. In fact, he could watch it all day, but they needed to focus on Jack.

"Scuse me?" She said, maintaining her sweet tone while staring daggers at Dean. "Don't what?"

"Have useful information for us," the angel said begrudgingly matter-of-fact.

"Er," Sam interjected seeing the look on her face, "Uh, well, it's just according to Tim-Cleetus-whatever, Jack is being held captive inside an old church in a small ghost town outside Butte."

Dean slapped his hands over his mouth in mock surprise and then, taking a few steps toward George, he mimed a balloon being popped by an impractically large needle. He had an impossibly large grin spread across his face.

"She still has a point, Dean," Sam sighed in an annoyed, if not slightly embarrassed, tone at his brother's display.

Cas nodded in agreement, "Yes, you were incredibly condescending and unfriendly in your attempt at being friendly earlier. Even though she's wrong about Jack, she's right about your inability to relinquish control-to anyone, though, not specifically women."

"You all suck." Dean said flatly.

George ignored him and shook her head. She was more and more sure about her information by the second; despite her doubts she could feel she was right. "Listen, I'm telling you, Jack is not in some bullshit church in Montana. He's…" She struggled to remember. "Erg, somewhere rainy and wooded!"

"Rainy and wooded, you say?" She cringed angrily at the sound of Dean's voice. "That's really great, very helpful. Say, maybe we should look up your little murder buddy-OwnsHisOwnAxe69, was it?-and ask if he's got Jack stashed in the Marin Headlands?" Dean's voice dripped with sarcasm.

George shook her head at him and closed her eyes tight in an effort to block out his negativity. Walking slowly away from him and into the map room, she started talking to herself, in a pointedly loud voice. Her focus bounced between episodes from the show and conversations with her friend, Ryan, a Supernatural Encyclopedia. She was hoping she could piece together something useful.

"OK, hang on, Jack is born, gets sucked into Apocalypse World, comes back, has his grace stolen but he's safely with you guys, he's happy, he's great-albeit, moody and not the best at video games. Then he disappears and you can't find him, yadda yadda."

While she rambled, her mind's eye began conjuring images of what she assumed were scenes from the episode she was trying to think of. While helpful, it was also disconcerting since she'd never actually seen it. She thought perhaps she'd seen clips on youtube while watching bloopers? She never could stay away from them, even if she hadn't seen the episode yet; they were just too funny. Maybe her overactive imagination was just creating scenes around what little knowledge she did have, "...and there's an epic-potentially deadly-fight scene at the end of one of the last episodes of the season. An episode that was, oh so noteworthily filmed on location iiiiinnn…" She tried to demand that her memories behave for her but it was challenging, considering she shouldn't have any memories of having watched the damn thing at all. "...where? Fuck me!" She snarled, chasing desperately after her murky visions as they swirled too abstractly for her to discern.

In a sudden moment of unusual clarity she could see the words displayed behind her eyelids. '...False Klamath? Where the fuck… why does that sound familiar? She flashed to the location in her memories and saw big wooden statues towering outside the scenic little tourist trap

Her eyes popped open with a gasp, "Johnny Appleseed!"

"Johnny Appleseed?" Dean teased, mock exasperatedly, "We're trying to find JACK."

"The Johnny Appleseed statue at The Trees of Enigma! Just outside False Klamath, Oregon!" She slammed both her hands down on the table in front of her in uncontrollably jubilant victory. "HA! Take THAT!" She jumped up excitedly and punched her fist in the air. "I did it! I remembered!"

"Sam, can you translate any of this?" Dean asked, annoyed.

"On the show," She started smugly, before Sam could say anything, "the battle that you two get into when you find Jack, takes place at a tourist spot called The Trees of Enigma. The episode was filmed on location at said tourist spot, in-say it with me now-False Klamath, Oregon. Oregon, Dean. A place that is known for being both rainy and wooded." Her finger was placed on the map table in the general area of Oregon, "that's where you'll find Jack. I'm sure of it." Her adrenaline was pumping and she was so stoked. It felt really good to be useful; like she was part of the show!

"Yea, that's great, sounds fun," Dean started dismissively, though toned down a bit, "but we're not risking Jack's life to follow your hunch."

"Excuse me. Why is my so-called hunch less believable than a demon's word? Especially a demon named Cleetus. Rude," George looked particularly offended now.

"Tim gave us real, solid intel and we've never had a problem when we've relied on our trusted resources in the past," He answered confidently. George's head jerked toward him like she hadn't heard correctly and she gave Sam and Castiel some crazy eyebrows.

"Sorry, you understand that I do watch the show, right?" She asked rhetorically, with a doubtful expression. When he rolled his eyes, she let out a frustrated huff. "Dean, think about this! He's a demon! He lies! Look, I know you have no reason in the world to trust me but you've got to; just think about it. Even IF it is demons that have Jack, don't you think it's possible that the prisoner demon you're threatening to torture might give you a false lead? Especially if he's naive enough to think he'll be able to escape and doesn't want to get in trouble with his bosses? C'mon, this is not-the-sharpest-tack-Tim we're talking about!"

Sam and Castiel had agreeably expressions but Dean's was stubbornly disagreeable, though she could tell he knew she was right. The thought of them going to Montana gave her a dreadful, suffocating feeling, like death.

So, she tried one more tactic and held her hands up in prayer, "Dean please, I don't know what and I don't know how I know, but I know in my gut that if you go to Montana, something terrible will happen. And Jack's not there, I promise you." She dropped all the bullshit and gave him her best seriously-just-listen-to-me face but Dean still wasn't budging.

"Christ, I knew you were stubborn but this is ridiculous, ugh. OK, fine!" She threw her hands up and turned on her heel, heading toward the dungeon.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sam asked quickly.

"Obviously I didn't hurt his feelings badly enough the first time, so I'm going to go have another chat with Cleetus and get him to admit that he's a liar, liar, pant-"

"Er-you... can't do that," Sam cut her off apologetically.

"Sam, he's handcuffed to a chair. I appreciate the concern but-"

"He means you really can't," Dean added. George looked toward him annoyed and Dean continued, "After he gave us everything we needed we pretty much, chk," he finished, slicing a finger across his throat in demonstration. When she looked like she wanted to strangle him, he shrugged and offered, "RIP Cleetus."

George rolled her eyes in exasperation, "But he was lying! Don't you confirm the information before you cut off the source?! Oh my god, why am I even asking? You're the Winchesters, of course you don't." The three of men looked between each other guiltily and she placed her hand on her hip, "What if that was just an act and Tim saw an opportunity. Feeding you some bullshit so that you couldn't actually find Jack? Or, maybe Tim has nothing to do with Jack at all, and sending you to Montana is just a good old fashioned ambush?!" She paused for a moment and gave a surprised, appreciative nod, "Hmm, maybe I underestimated ole' Cleetus a bit. Could have been smarter than I thought."

"She does have a point, Dean. The chances that he was lying are incredibly high," Cas conceded slightly, giving Dean a questioning look. "We have no proof that his lead is any better than hers. Demon's lie."

"Damnit, alright, fine," Dean said, sighing angrily. "Sam and I will go to Oregon to look for Jack; Cas, check out Butte-carefully, strictly recon, do not engage-and call us if you find any trace of him." He shot a quick warning look at George. "We'll turn around and come right to you. Sound like a plan? Great, let's go."

"Wait, no! Don't send him to Butte! Didn't you hear me? If it's an ambush, he'll get his ass kicked!"

"Hey." Cas looked hurt and George softened her face at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry Castiel. You're a total badass when the plot calls for it, otherwise, getting beat up is just kind of your MO." Ignoring the confused look on the angel's face, She turned back to Dean, "and besides you need Castiel in Oregon, Dean. I've seen it!"

"Oh? I thought you hadn't 'seen this episode yet'?" Dean said sarcastically.

"I-I… Well, OK, I haven't, but I've seen the three of you and Jack all together for this fight. Just trust me, you need him there. What if Jack is hurt when you find him? Cas can heal him, right?" She made a questioning face to Castiel; at the moment she couldn't remember the extent of his powers on the show and he was always losing one or another for whatever reason, anyway. But if she was right, she figured that even if Dean wouldn't trust her gut, he might trust that having a healing angel on their journey would be a benefit. "Is that a power you have? I feel like I've seen you do that."

"She's right, Dean. I can heal him if we find him injured," Cas offered her helpfully and she shot him a grateful expression, actually looking him in the eyes for the first time, albeit fleetingly.

"Have you seen Jack get hurt?" Sam asked her, trying to help, too. He remained a neutral party at this point, but if he was honest with himself, he believed her. Maybe a little too much, which is why he was trying to stay impartial. If he was being blinded by his confusing memories and the undeniable-yet-currently-being-denied feelings he was developing for her and ended up wrong, Jack could be killed.

"Uh… I mean, no… not definitively, but it's pretty standard for the show. You're all constantly getting hurt during fights and when it's close to a season finale the danger factor is skyhigh for anyone who isn't you two…" After motioning to the brothers, she trailed off, afraid that this reasoning was going to hurt her more than help her.

Sam gave her a long, contemplative look before finally offering, "I can have a small team go check out Butte. Maybe Garth can join? Last time I talked to him he was near there."

Dean's teeth and fists were clenched as he took a deep, exaggerated breath, "Fine. We'll send a group to Butte and call Garth from the road-No arguments!" He held up his hand to her as she opened her mouth to speak. "The three of us are going to Oregon, just as you demand, but I'm not leaving anything to chance on some alien's hunch. Garth can handle himself."

She made an indignant face at him-she wasn't an alien, she was from an alternate reality! Get it right. But, while she was afraid of someone getting hurt in the obvious trap that had been set for them in Montana, the thought of Garth going instead didn't give her the same full-body fear shudder. So, she figured she'd take what she could get and not push the issue further. Besides, she knew Dean wasn't going to be happy about her next move and she had to pick her battles.

[lils-writes-stuff]

New Beginnings

Spencer Reid x reader

Best Years Season 2 part one | season one

summary: Readers first day back on the job is a lot different then she expected. 

warning: normal criminal minds things, mentions of suicide, fluff at the end (such cute fluff)

A/N: based on season 8 episode 1; so um, the ending is really cute. 

 “I must say, Agent Y/L/N, I wasn’t expecting this to be the answer,” Strauss said with a disappointed look as she closed her leather folder. 

 “You’re asking me to leave the BAU, how did you expect my answer to not be no,” Y/N said with furrowed brows.

 This is not how Y/N wanted to be welcomed back after her leave. She was gone two months and in that time Strauss decided she wanted to move her to a new unit. That was flat out disrespectful. 

 “Well with Agent Prentiss’s move, I was expecting you to want to be reassigned,” Strauss said, folding her hands on her stomach. “You have made progress here, and other units have seen that and want you on their teams.”

 Y/N looked at her knowing that wasn’t the full truth, Strauss had something to do with this also. She always did. 

 “And I also believe that your time in BAU has been paid and it’s time to do greater things. You could be one of the best fugitive task force agents, your skills I’ve seen are-” 

 “I appreciate that Strauss, really I do, but I’ve made a home at the BAU-” Y/N stood up from the chair- “And I have no plans on moving anytime soon.” 

 With that, she walked out of the office and towards the elevator. The hum of the elevator was quiet and it only boiled her rage. Strauss wasn’t an all-around terrible person, but when it came to work, she always had to have what she wanted. Everything had to be tip-top and work out in her favor, and Y/N guessed Strauss forgot what it’s like to be in the field and work with a team.  

 When the doors dinged open, Y/N swiftly walked out and into Hotch’s office. She didn’t bother to knock, she just opened the door and stood in front of his desk. 

 Hotch looked up from his paperwork with a confused look. “Please, Y/N come in.”

 She huffed, “Sir, do you think that my time has been paid at the BAU?”

 He raised a brow as he looked at her with a confused gaze. “No?”

 “So you would agree that Section Chief Strauss’s opinion to move me to a new unit is unprecedented?”  

 Y/N’s announcement took Hotch by surprise, clearly, he didn’t know about this. He set down his ink pen, signifying his full attention was now on the conversation. 

 “Do you want to be moved?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

 “Hell no,” she responded quickly. “She thinks that because Emily left, that ‘I would want to move’-” she used a mocking tone with quotation marks as she quoted Strauss- “Said my skills would be of good use in Fugitive Task Force.” 

 “I can’t make any promises, but I will do everything I can to not have you moved, Y/N.” 

 His words were comforting, but with what happened with JJ a couple of years ago, she wasn’t sure. But that was the state department, this was still in the FBI, so maybe it wouldn’t turn out so bad. 

 Thanking Hotch, she walked out of the office and down the stairs to the bullpen. When she came to the door, she was met with Penelope and Derek. Penelope holding many nick-nacks from her visit to London with Derek to help Emily settle into her new life there. 

 “Garcia, you guys were talking yest-” Penelope cut off Derek as she saw Y/N approach.

 “Y/N!” She exclaimed trotting over to Y/N in her heels to hug her. It was a difficult task with her bag filled arms. “Oh my gosh, I missed you so much.” 

 “I missed you too,” Y/N pulled away from her hug and reached over for Derek. 

 “Hey, Wonder Woman,” he said, giving her a squeeze. 

 “Were you one the last case?” Penelope asked. 

 “No, actually today is my-”

 “Wait, where is everybody else? Don’t tell me they’re still in Seattle,” Penelope interjected when she noticed the empty desks in the office. 

 “I just saw Hotch.” She turned to look at all the empty desks in the bullpen. Her brows furrowed in confusion. 

 “Well actually,” Derek said pointing behind Penelope to JJ and Spencer as they entered. 

 “Hi, you guys are back!” JJ said walking into the office clapping her hands together. 

 Y/N’s face lit up as she saw Spencer. She hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever since he left for the case in Seattle. Her mandatory leave allowed him to come over to hang out with her in a stress-free environment. But then she realized that with the emotional trauma she thought she buried had now bubbled back up, she couldn’t be alone. Her therapist recommended for her to live with Spencer. So when she brought it up with him, he was very enthusiastic about the idea. 

 “Oy, mates! Give me a squeeze,” Penelope said with a fake British accent.

 JJ hugged Penelope then moved to Derek. 

 “Y/N, how have you been?” JJ asked moving to give her a hug. She hadn’t seen her in a while from her busy life at work and at home. 

  “Good, better now that I’m back at work,” she responded with a giggle. 

 Spencer then moved to hug Y/N after doing his odd handshake with Derek. A week and a half was too long without seeing her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her in a circle and pecked her cheek. 

 “You would think they don’t live together or something,” Derek laughed as the happy couple reunited. 

 “Right?” JJ agreed with a laugh. 

 “How’s Emily doing?” Spencer asked once he set Y/N down and turned back to the three beside them. 

 “Brilliant and Lovely.” Penelope continued her accent. 

 “Her apartments off the chain,” Derek said. 

 “You mean her flat,” Penelope corrected his terminology. “You have to take a shaky old lift to get to the top, but the view is brilliant.” 

 Once she finished her statement, she did her excited little gasp and began to pull presents out of her bag.

 “For my favorite bloke.” She handed Spencer a mug with the British flag on it. 

 “Hey, I love it! Thank you!” Spencer responded gratefully.

 She handed JJ a little double-decker bus for her desk, which she thanked her for. 

 “Oh and Y/N, I thought you would love this.” Penelope then pulled a snowglobe the size of her hand out of a different bag. 

 It had Big Ben in the middle, surrounded by the streets of London with little people and cars filling them. 

 “Oh my gosh, this will go perfect with my collection.” Y/N smiled at Penelope and thanked her. She had made it a point when she first joined the team to, if possible, get a snowglobe from every state she visited. She had a lot now, almost all fifty, and an international one was a great thing to add to her collection. 

 “Hey, Morgan, how was temporary duty?” Y/N asked, peeling her eyes off of the beautiful snowglobe. 

 “Oh, it was around the clock,” Derek responded. “I thought I’d get a little more of a vacation, but…”

 “Did you watch the Olympics at all?” Spencer asked.

 “I did see a little track and field, but the queen bee here-” he gestured to Penelope- “She saw everything.”

 “Hey, me too,  that’s all I got to do during my sabbatical, besides talking to my therapist.” Y/N giggled high-fiving Penelope as she related. 

 “Emily is, for real, hooked up over there. She sends her love, and tea of the month starts next week,” Penelope said, her eyes bouncing between the three who weren’t with her. 

 “Oh, I miss her,” JJ said staring absently at the floor behind Penelope.

 “Me too,” Y/N agreed. 

 “Don’t even get me started,” Penelope said shaking her head. “Hey, how’s the new? Is she nice?”

 Penelope was referring to the new team recruit, who had joined during their time in London, and Y/N’s leave. 

 “Yeah, she is,” JJ answered sincerely.

 “Y/N, have you met her?” Penelope turned to Y/N who was standing next to Spencer. 

 “I have yet to meet her, but Spence has told me about her,” Y/N responded. 

 “I’m just asking. Reid-” Penelope whipped her head to make eye contact with Spencer- “Do you know she was recruited when she was 24?” 

 “I’ve guest lectured in her forensics linguistics class before,” Spencer said. 

 “Of course you have, cause she's a professor and an agent, which is so impressive,” Penelope muttered. 

 “No, really, she’s great,” JJ said trying to convince Penelope that this change was good. 

 “Mm-hmm, and driven, clearly. Berkely grad, double major, bureau star of the Unabomber case, and she teaches at George town,” Penelope said, reciting everything she knew about this woman from her research. 

 “When she’s not doing that, she’s SSAing at the Washington Field Office. And she has her PhD. does that mean I have to call her doctor?”

 While Penelope continued her spew, the four in front of her just looked at her with a ‘really?’ look. Y/N just let out a chuckle, missing Penelope’s sass. 

 “What?! I did some research on her cause I couldn’t sleep on the plane,” She defended herself. “And my point is, clearly, she is smart and capable but is she nice?” 

 As Penelope finished her question, Derek, JJ, and Y/N cleared their throats to stop her as SSA Alex Blake walked up behind her.

 Y/N let out a giggle as Spencer moved away from his spot beside Penelope as if trying to get away from the situation. 

 “Oh dear god, this is happening. Where I talk and the person is behind…” she trailed off as she turned to be met with Blake. “Me.” 

 “The origin of ‘nice’, is twelfth-century Middle English, meaning foolish or stupid,” Blake said as she met Penelope’s eyes. “I hope you’re referring to the modern use of the adjective.”

 Y/N let out a muffled laugh into her hand that covered her mouth, not being able to keep it in any longer. Derek smacked her arm but was also smiling as he was struggling not to laugh. 

 “You must be Penelope,” Blake concurred once Penelope stayed in a silent, embarrassed state. “I’m Alex Blake.”

 “Nice to meet you. Really, actually nice in the nicest of ways nice,” Penelope said quietly as Derek placed a hand on her shoulder. 

 “I’m Derek Morgan,” Derek said, shaking Blake’s hand. 

 “Welcome back,” she responded. 

 Y/N then stepped up to introduce herself. 

 “I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” she stuck her hand out. 

 To her surprise, she smiled adoringly at her. “Welcome back to you too, Dr. Reid mentioned you the last time he guest lectured to me.” 

 Y/N giggled and glanced at Spencer who had a shy blush on his face. “Good things I hope.” 

 “Of course.”

 “How was Seattle?” Derek asked Blake. 

 “The unsub made Ridgway look like a saint. He even used his own kid to bait his victims,” Blake responded. 

 “Mm, those aren’t fun, we’ve seen them before, and no doubt will see those again,” Y/N said with a grimace. 

 Blake nodded and was about to respond but Rossi walked in quickly. 

 “Don’t unpack,” Rossi said as he walked past quickly. 

 “Garcia, the files,” Hotch said as he also walked past.

 Penelope nodded, muttering some words under her breath, embarrassed by her whole encounter as she walked away.

 The team made their way up to the round table room swiftly.

 “A few hours ago there was a prison transfer to the county hospital in Abilene, Texas. The Ambulance crashed and the prisoner escaped.” As Hotch began the case, Strauss entered with files and handed them to everyone. 

 “He’s wearing the EMT uniform, and he’s armed with the guard’s weapon,” Strauss continued. 

 “Aren’t the U.S. Marshals on this?” Derek asked. 

 “Yes, they are, but they need your help because this is what they found inside.” Strauss grabbed the remote and pulled up a picture of the victim. 

 “The EMT and the driver died in the accident, the guard, however, suffocated,” Strauss continued as they saw the Guard laying on the table in the photo. The EMT laid in the back in only his underwear and a white T-shirt. 

 “What’s on his mouth?” Y/N asked as she noticed the guard’s mouth had something on it. 

 “It was sewn shut,” Strauss responded.

 “So the prisoner in the silencer,” Blake said as she remembered the signature. 

 “Or this guy’s a copycat,” Rossi countered. 

 “Forensics confirmed it’s the same unique double-knot ligature he used in all three murder,” Hotch said, debunking the copycat theory.

 “His last known victim was in 2004 and he was never caught,” Spencer reminded everyone. 

 “So he didn’t go dormant by choice, he was locked up,” JJ concluded. 

 “Well, why not just escape? If he hadn’t sewn the guard’s mouth shut, we would never know it was him,” Derek said. 

 “He wants us to know he’s back,” Rossi replied to Derek’s statement with more clarity. 

 “We’ve got his face, what’s his name?” Blake asked Hotch. 

 “John Doe,” Hotch answered. “He was pulled over in ‘04 for a traffic violation, no registration, no tags, he carried no I.D.,” he continued. 

 “No way he did eight years for that,” Y/N said, confused as to why this man was in prison. 

 “They searched the car and found a gun with a silencer,” Hotch replied. 

 “A silencer, he was practically telling them who he was and no one made the connection,” Rossi stated baffled.

 “It’s a federal offense, carries a 30-year minimum sentence, but it was actually what he did inside that guaranteed him life without parole,” Hotch finished. 

 “He killed two men while inside,” JJ said reading the report in her file.

 “And never said a word,” Spencer added. 

 “Mm-hmm, he spoke with his fists,” Blake corrected as she looked at the report of all the fights he had been in. 

 “Remaining silent for 8 years takes a hell of a lot of self-restraint,” Derek said. 

 “Maybe it was a conditioned response,” Spencer said looking back at Derek. 

 “Garcia’s gathering all the files from ‘04, we’ll catch up on the plane. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch picked up his file and nodded his head to dismiss everyone.

 Y/N walked out of the room with Spencer trailing behind her closely. 

 “Hey,” he said, catching up beside her while she was at her desk. “How was your meeting with Strauss?” 

 Y/N just looked at him with an annoyed look, hoping that would tell him how she felt about it. 

 “That bad?” 

 “Oh yeah, but we’ll talk about it when we get back.” She pulled her duffle over her shoulder and laid her coat across her arm. 

 Spencer nodded, grabbing his own bag, and led the way out of the office.   

----------    

 Everyone sat in silence on the plane, looking over the files in hand. It wasn’t awkward, but it was filled with the stiffness you get when everyone’s minds are busy at work. 

 “Did any of you work on the Silencer case?” Blake asked, breaking the silence in hope to relieve the tension. 

 “That was during my extended sabbatical,” Rossi answered. 

 “I was still in college,” Y/N also answered. 

 The air became stiff again as Y/N mentioned college. After many times of telling the team, she was fine, and most of her trauma was gone, they still avoided the topic of college memories. She appreciated the fact they didn’t want to trigger any unwanted trauma, but she hated the fact that they walked on eggshells about the topic. 

 “We all consulted, but nobody made the trip to Texas,” Hotch said, answering for the rest of the team.

 Blake looked up confused as to why they didn’t make the trip. “Why not? Three women in four months, it’s textbook kill rate, an undeniable signature, obvious surrogates.” 

 She let out a scuff of confusion.

 “We weren’t invited by local police,” Hotch responded, disappointment that they weren’t invited evident in his voice . 

 “Aren’t you tired of that?” Blake said, annoyed that was the case of their help not being there.

 The team chuckled, all silently saying ‘we know it’s annoying’. 

 “Welcome to our world,” Y/N giggled along with everyone else. 

 “The women he killed were beaten and left in open ditches. That physical representation of his anger is missing this time around,” Derek said as he switched the subject to victimology. 

 “He must do something else that satisfies him,” JJ said. 

 “The signature is the same, but his victimology couldn’t be more different,” Spencer began answering JJ and Derek’s statements.  The guard was clearly a victim of necessity, but if he’s in need-driven behavior, such as sewing the mouths shut, how can he control that and only do it to the guard?” 

 “Maybe he just ran out of time,” Y/N said, answering Spencer’s now posed question. 

 “Or he could just want the guard to suffer in silence,” Derek argued. 

 “Literally makes his victims shut up,” Rossi agreed with his own twist on the argument. 

 “It seems obvious, but, uh, there may be something to it,” Hotch said, turning his head to Spencer for confirmation. 

 Spencer nodded his head. 

 “Then the question is why?” Blake asked. 

 “Morgan, you, Y/N, and JJ go to the M.E., Reid, you and Dave check out John Doe’s cell, and Blake and I will head to the U.S. Marshals,” Hotch said. 

------------ 

 Y/N hated the M.E., it smelt weird to her. She could deal with dead bodies, sure, but it was the smell of all the sterile equipment and the LED lights that gave her a headache.

 “The suture is 6-zero nylon, P-3 needle, 13-millimeter long, ⅜ circle. A dozen of these would come in a box,” The M.E. said as she walked over to JJ, Y/N, and Derek who were beside the body. 

 “The suture drawer was empty on the ambulance,” Derek said. 

 “Then he’s got a lot more,” the M.E. concluded. 

 “His techniques aren’t like a mortician,” JJ said as she examined the mouth. 

 “It almost looks like the stitching is strictly through the lips,” Y/N agreed. She crossed her arms over her stomach as she leaned down closer to the face of the body. She turned her head to look at the stitching that almost looked like something from a horror movie. 

 “It’s rather crude what he’s done,” the M.E. added then pointed to the lips of the guard. “You see how the nylon is stretched? The victim struggled, which says the prisoner did it while this guy was still alive.”

 “Torture, just like his first victims,” JJ said, concluding that this was the torture for this victim like how he did with his others. 

 “Well, now that you’ve seen his handiwork, I’ll open his mouth.” The M.E. picked up a pair of surgical scissors and cut the nylon suture. 

 When the nylon was cut, the M.E. used her hands to open his mouth. As she did so, the four saw an orange bag folded up in his mouth. 

 “What’s that?” Y/N asked as she peered at the object closer. 

 As the M.E. opened the folded bag, they saw the note written inside.

 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side’,” Derek read aloud.

 “That’s not much of a taunt.” JJ’s face contorted as she thought about the note. 

 “Maybe it’s not for us?” Y/N posed as she looked at the two agents. 

 “Then who?” Derek asked.  

--------------

 “He literally put words in the guard’s mouth,” Y/N said as her, Derek, and JJ walked into the conference room of the U.S. marshall’s precinct. 

 When they walked in, it looked like Spencer and Rossi had also just arrived and been telling Blake and Hotch of their findings. 

 “That’s new,” Rossi stated. 

 “Well, we think this is what we were missing, the words give him the pleasure the beatings used to bring,” JJ relayed what they discussed on the car ride there. 

 “Maybe we had this wrong, what if the ritual is sewing the mouths shut?” Spencer posed, which everyone gave him slightly confused glances as a response. 

 “His signature used to be the beatings, but now it’s putting words in their mouths,” Spencer clarified what he meant. 

 “Yeah, just when you think a signature doesn’t get more solid than that,” JJ said, agreeing with Spencer. 

 “What did he write?” Blake asked Derek, who was holding the note in the bag. 

 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side’,” Derek read the note again. He held it up to show it to the group. 

 Blake gave a confused face as she tried to think if she had heard the words before. 

 “It’s not an anagram,” Blake deciphered. “Is it a phrase in anything you’ve read so far?” She looked at Spencer who had a pile of notepads in front of him. 

 “No, it’s not a well-known literary reference either,” Spencer answered. 

 “Well, the words mean something to him, otherwise he wouldn’t share it,” Blake said as she pointed down to a notepad she was holding. 

 “It’s gonna get dark soon, he’ll be on the move.” Hotch’s statement was more of a spoken thought. 

 “You want us on the roads with the marshals?” Derek asked Hotch. 

 “No, I think we should concentrate on remote locations,” Hotch answered. “He’s not just escaping detection, he’s a recluse. He’ll be attracted to isolated locations.” 

 As the day went into the night, the team had sent out marshals to cover some areas they thought the unsub could be based on a geo-profile Spencer and Y/N made. They got an unfortunate hit at a local, isolated gas station. The owner had been killed with his mouth sewn shut. 

 Spencer, Y/N, and Blake stayed back at the precinct to help develop more of the profile and hopefully decipher more of the note. 

 “Blake,” Blake said as she answered her phone.

 Y/N and Spencer could hear the faint voice of Derek on the other side. 

 “Did you get another note?” Blake asked. Derek responded with a ‘yep’ then Blake asked, “Can I put you on speaker?” 

 Assuming he said yes, she pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the speaker button. 

 “ ‘Waiting on the taste of honey...the smell of summer,” Derek read. 

 Y/N thought for a second, then looked between Spencer and Blake hoping they knew what it meant. 

 “ ‘And the sight of the other side’, three of the senses,” Blake said as she pieced the notes together. 

 “Then we’re only missing sound and touch now,” Y/N said as she could now understand more of what the unsub was doing. 

 “This guy’s like Jekyll and Hyde writes a decent thought and then sews it in the mouth,” Derek said with slight irritation in his voice. 

 “Whatever he is, he’s romanticizing the hell out of this, thank Morgan,” Blake said, hovering her finger over the red hangup command. 

 “Sure,” he responded then Blake hung up.

 “ ‘Gazing through to the other side, waiting on the taste of honey, the smell of summer.’ Do you think he’s telling us about a place?” Spencer asked as he said the whole quote. 

 “That’s what it sounds like,” Y/N responded.

 “But…” Blake said and glanced back at the board and then walked to it. “Where?” She drew out the word with a sigh as she looked at a map. 

-------------

 “We can’t tell you exactly where this unsub’s going or what he’s thinking, but his actions will betray his intentions,” Hotch said as they began this odd profile. 

 “And how’s that?” Tilghman, the captain of the marshals, asked. 

 “Earlier tonight at the gas station, he could have stolen money, but the register wasn’t empty. That tells us he’s not planning a long road trip,” Hotch answered. 

 “And yet he’s logical enough to be in survival mode,” Y/N added. 

 “So logic tells him to escape, I get that,” Tilghman said then continued to ask a question. “But what the hell makes him sew mouths shut?” 

 “It’s a compulsion over which he has no control,” Hotch replied. 

 “So how do we stop him?” Tilghman asked. 

 “Well, truth shows itself through actions,” Derek began. “What’s this guy’s truth? He feels silenced. Agent Hotchner has a theory that he had a speech impediment that made him embarrassed to talk. He may have been relentlessly teased because of it.”

 “His prior victims tell us a woman, likely a mother figure is to blame,” JJ said. 

 “Chances are she was abusive and convinced him that whatever words he had were worthless,” Y/N continued. 

 “This guy hasn’t spoken a word in eight years, could he have been mute?” Tilghman asked. 

 “Definitely not,” Blake answered. 

 “You sound pretty damn sure,” Tilghman challenged. 

 “He refers to IPA in a few of his personal writings,” Blake responded. 

 “What’s IPA?” 

 “International Phonetic Alphabet. It represents only those qualities of speech that are in spoken language,” Blake answered. 

 “It’s proof that he’s able to hear, which means most likely he can talk but chooses not to,” Y/N said as she could add onto Blake’s thought. 

 “Then what’s he using it for?” Tilghman continued his questions. 

 “He uses multiple languages to communicate. IPA is an interesting choice, I’ve found that those who understand something as detailed as that are also proficient in sign language,” Blake concluded.

 “So these words that he’s leaving in these mouths are directly taunting us?” Tilghman asked what Y/N hoped was his final question. 

 “Those messages--” 

 “Have not been analyzed yet,” Blake interjected Y/N with a lie. 

 Y/N looked at her confused why she would do that then to Derek who had tapped her leg and gave her a confused look. Y/N simply shrugged at Derek answering his glance. 

 “You know, not to change the subject,” Spencer said, clearly changing the subject, hoping no awkward tension would come from the interjection. “But he’s incredibly well-read, which tells us that he grew up in isolation with literature being his only escape. His own writings are not as profound and despite his reading comprehension, we don’t think he’s had an extended education.”

 “Everything about his psychosis says the spoken word has value, it also greatly angers him,” Rossi said. 

 “And if he was yelled at or made to feel stupid, he held onto his anger until he snapped,” Hotch added. 

 “So why hasn’t he fled the area?” Tilghman asked. “He knows there’s a manhunt going down, wouldn’t he want to get as far away as possible?” 

 “Well, he could be on a mission. We just don’t know if that mission includes a person or a place, but we do know his target is close to here,” JJ answered both of Tilghman’s questions. 

 “Thank you,” Hotch said, dismissing everyone.

 When they stood up to leave the room, Derek tapped Y/N to get her attention.

 “You want to talk to her about that?” He asked, referring to Blake cutting her off.

 “Want to join me?” She responded which Derek nodded to. 

 “Hey, Blake,” Y/N said, making the dark-haired woman turn to her. She really didn’t want to piss this woman off, but she needed to know why she dismissed that part of the profile. 

 “Wouldn’t you say that those messages are related to the profile?” Y/N asked, wringing her hands together nervously. 

 “To a degree, yes,” Balke answered. 

 “A degree?” Derek questioned her response. “He basically signed his name to the murders.”

 “He’s never left words before, that’s a significant change of behavior,” Y/N added onto Derek’s statement. 

 “But you completely dismissed it,” Derek finished. Those are the words Y/N was afraid would piss off Blake. 

 “Because the Marshals have their own agenda,” Blake said in a whisper. “And will believe it’s a taunt no matter what we tell them. We don’t need to give them any more fuel.” 

 Blake was right, Y/N and Derek knew that, but she should have brought that up with them before delivering the profile. 

 “If the unsub needs to get his thoughts out, it’s like he’s reminding us of something, and until we know what that something is I’m not comfortable speculating in front of them,” Blake finished expressing how she felt about it. 

 “Well, how about the rest of us?” Y/N asked. The question came off as defensive and that was not her intent. 

 “Dr. Reid and I are coming up with theories-” she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly- “you two are welcomed to join us.”

 Derek looked at Y/N. She was pressing her thumb across the top of each of her fingers, pushing hard as a way to express her anger. 

 When Blake had walked away after Derek had given her a response to do so, Y/N let out a breath. 

 “Do you think she’s intentionally trying to make us feel inferior?” Y/N whispered to Derek, who let out an agitated sigh. 

 “Come on, let’s at least join her and boy wonder to give her a chance.” 

-----------

 The next morning, Y/N, Hotch, and Blake rolled up to the sight of the crime scene. The morning was cloudy and almost seemed dull. Appropriate for the circumstance of the child in his carrier left under a tree. 

 “Marshal, where are the parents?” Hotch asked Marshal Tilghman as they got closer. 

 “Father’s in the stall dead, no sign of the mother,” Tilghman responded. “He stole the victims I.D.’s so I have no idea who he is, or what kind of vehicle we’re looking for.”

 “Was there another message?” Blake asked. 

 “They're checking right now.” Blake nodded and walked to the shed where the body was.  

 Y/N squatted down in front of the baby in the carrier. He was sleeping peacefully, a blanket laid carefully on top of him, his pacifier on top of the blanket, and his bottle beside it. That was odd because this baby was only a few months old. 

 “This baby is only a few months old, he’s too young to hold the bottle himself.” Y/N gestured to the bottle. 

 “Maybe the father fed him,” Tilghman said. 

 “You wouldn’t take the baby out of the safety of your car in the middle of the night.” Y/N shook her head at the thought of the unsub touching this poor little guy. A sudden motherly feeling overtook her and all she wanted to do was hold this baby. 

 “Then you’re telling me this guy killed a man then came out here for the baby?” Tilghman was confused by the theory. 

 “That’s exactly what he did,” Hotch answered solemnly. “He stayed with him while he slept and then gave him his pacifier.”

 “Well then, maybe he’s not that far away,” Tilghman said then walked away.

 As he walked away, Blake walked over and replaced the spot he vacated.

 “There were no words left in the mouth this time,” Blake said as she got close to Hotch. 

 “I think caring for the baby is his message,” Hotch said as he looked down at the child. 

 “Then he must relate to the child,” Blake concluded. 

 “Maybe he’s obsessed with nature he didn’t get,” Y/N said. Her focus never left the baby though, she was too worried about him waking up and crying for it to be diverted away.

 “Or simply wanted him to be quiet,” Blake added. 

 “He’s telling us he has boundaries?” Hotch wondered. 

 “He’s too unstable for that, I’d say he’s lucky,” Blake said as she gave a tight-lipped smile to the baby. 

 Y/N then looked to the side of the carrier, her hand reached under the blanket to move it off the ground. When she did so, an orange biohazard bag revealed. She picked it up and stood up from her squatted position to show Blake and Hotch her findings. 

 When they saw what she had, she opened the bag to see what was inside. 

 “Scissors...suture kits...medical tape.” She listed off the items she saw in the bag to them.

 “What’s he trying to tell us? That he’s finished killing?” Blake asked. 

 “He left his tools behind. That usually means you’re gonna call it quits,” Y/N said as she agreed with Blake’s question. 

 “He didn’t leave the stolen gun,” Hotch reminded them of the item. “He’s not giving up.”

 With that, the three finished up at the crime scene and headed back to the precinct to rethink what his next move will be. 

 “Okay,” JJ began with a sigh. “So he leaves words until today, maybe he’s closer to what he’s looking for?” 

 “He could have already found it,” Derek said, answering JJ’s questioned theory. “If he feels satisfied, he may disappear.”

 “Mm, we’re too close to let that happen,” Blake said with her hands pressed against one another in front of her face.

 “All right, then we go back to the first kills; three women, late forties, all working class. Mothers, brunettes, beaten and left in a ditch. That was his message, he hated them,” Hotch said trying to give a new train of thought for everyone. 

 “Maybe he’s not targeting women anymore because he already killed the person he blames,” Y/N proposed. She had been looking down at her journal in her lap, when she looked up, she was met with Spencer’s gaze. 

 She blushed, even after a year of dating, his gazes of adoration still give her butterflies. 

 “Most likely his mother,” Blake said, agreeing with Y/N.

 “We should have Garcia run all the victims’ names again,” Hotch said, pulling over the conference phone, dialing Penelope’s number. 

 “At your service,” Penelope said, answering the phone after one ring. 

 “Pull up the ‘04 victims,” Hotch ordered. 

 “Done.” 

 “All right, we need a list of their children,” Hotch continued his orders.

 “Okay, next of kin, state welfare, give me a sec…” Penelope’s voice trailed off as she searched then a ping was heard. “Gotcha! Okay, some were put into foster care after their moms died, runaways, truancy, not good.” 

 “Any incarcerated?” Hotch asked. 

 “A handful, do you have any more parameters?” Penelope asked in hopes of getting a hit. 

 “Uh, not yet, just send us the list,” Hotch answered. 

 “Comin’ at ya now.” Penelope hung up. 

 “All right, let’s start with the first victim.” Hotch pulled the list up on his phone.

 “Julie Myres.” JJ pointed with her pencil to the victim on the board. 

 “Three boys- Mark, Greg, and John, born ‘70, ‘72, ‘74, history of truancy. Child services lost track of them.” Hotch read from the list, only hitting the highlights and not going into the full detail. 

 “Is there any family history of cajun French?” Blake asked. 

 “Yeah, Julie Myres was born in New Orleans,” Hotch answered as he read the bio of the victim. 

 “Could Explain his interest in the language,” Y/N posed with a shrug.

 “Let’s jump ahead to his most recent behavior-” Derek grabbed a bag with the evidence Y/N found by the baby- “He leaves all of this behind. Is it his version of surrender?”

 “What’s the medical tape for?” Rossi nodded to the tape in the bag. “He didn’t use it on any of the victims.” 

 “Yet it was important enough for him to steal from the ambulance,” Derek said as he gestured to the item in the bag. 

 “Maybe he’s using it on himself.” Y/N leaned forward on the table. “We said he may have some kinda nerve damage, if that’s the case, his eye won’t shut by itself.”

 “So he would have to tape it down,” Derek said agreeing with Y/N’s statement. 

 “It’s his left eye, the same where the recent scars are,” Hotch added. 

 “Under his ear,” JJ said, remembering the scar in the picture. “What if he was trying to stop from hearing.”

 “That’s pretty severe, taking a knife to your own head,” Rossi said, not sure if that would be the case. 

 “He may have had an implant, the electronic pulses enhance natural sound. If all he wants is peace, an implant is like having a speaker that goes to eleven,” Blake said. 

 With this new theory in play, Hotch hit the redial button to call Penelope back. 

 “That was fast,” Penelope said when she answered. 

 “Do any of the children have a cochlear implant?” Hotch asked, hopeful for a yes. 

 “Uh, 1988, John Myers,” Penelope responded after a small pause for her searching. 

 “He was fourteen at the time,” Hotch said looking at his birthdate.

 “Yeah, his mom was paid six hundred and fifty bucks for the medical trial,” Penelope said as she did some more digging. 

 “Was he deaf before that?” Y/N asked leaning closer to the phone. 

 “Had to be in order to participate,” Penelope answered. Her fingers typing on the keys could be heard through the call as she pulled up more of the trial. “Yikes, it was a highly experimental procedure. It was rested on humans, not animals-”

 Everyone’s eyebrows shot up in shock at her words. 

 “Caused quite the controversy.” 

 “So mom gives him the gift of hearing and it turns out to be a curse,” Rossi said as he came to a conclusion for a motive. 

 “Spent his first fourteen years in silence, gets lost in the world through books, learns languages-- anything to escape,” Spencer said. 

 “He’s content, and then his mom gets paid to use him as a guinea pig and now he can’t turn the noise off,” Blake said as she thought more into his motive. 

 “He blamed her and he wanted her to suffer,” JJ said, agreeing with Blake.

 The team kept working, pulling different theories and piecing together scenes.

 Y/N tried to focus, but she was having a hard time. Spencer was focused with Blake on trying to decipher the two notes, and she really couldn’t follow what they were saying. All she could think about was that poor baby. 

 “Hotch, I’m going to get some air.” Y/N stood up from her chair. 

 Hotch nodded his head, and the rest of the team watched as Y/N swiftly walked out of the room and out the doors. 

 When the air hit her, she felt capable of breathing again. She laced her fingers together and placed them on top of her head. The sun was warm on her face and she felt like her head was clear for the first time in hours. 

 Her arms fell down to her sides when she heard the front door open. She expected it to be Spencer, but she was surprised when she was met with Blake. 

 “You okay?” She asked sincerely. 

 Y/N took a breath in through her nose, no tears came from her eyes, but the breath was shaky like she was crying. 

 Running her hands down her face, she let out the breath she took in. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” She looked at her with a tight-lipped smile. 

 An awkward silence fell between the two as Y/N was still trying to compose herself and Blake was trying to from her words. 

 “I wanted to apologize for last night. I should’ve talked to the team about the whole note thing before we delivered the profile,” Blake said with an apologetic tone. 

 “I understand.” Y/N really didn’t want to get into the fact that Blake made her feel inferior, so she opted to just let it go. 

 With a grateful smile, Blake gave a simple nod and opened the door for Y/N. She smiled and walked in to head back to the conference room. 

----------

 Y/N stood in front of a whiteboard. The two phases of the notes he left written out on it. Her eyes darted between the words and the pictures of the victims, not even knowing where to start to figure out where the words could take them.

   “If they aren’t his words then who’s are they?” Derek asked as he walked away from the board to sit down. He was annoyed that they couldn’t figure out what they were. 

 “We need to find out who his neighbors were in prison,” Blake said as she thought of where they could start. 

 “He spent more time in solitary then he did in his own cell,” Rossi stated, not knowing if what Blake was asking for would help. 

 “It’s total darkness but not complete silence, the inmates can speak through the walls,” JJ said.

 “Let’s see which fellow inmate did time in solitary when he was there.” Rossi pulled out his phone then walked out of the room to make the call to the prison. 

 “I can’t really imagine an inmate thrown in solitary would be telling campfire stories to other inmates in solitary.” Y/N spoke in a monotone voice, her eyes still trained on the board. 

 “Some inmates get put in there for their own protection,” Derek reminded her. 

 “That’s true, we should start with those prisoners,” Hotch said, agreeing with Derek’s statement. 

 “Hold on,” Blake said, bringing the attention to her. “See how he wrote ‘Waiting on the taste of honey’, it’s got Southern U.S. roots, but more specifically it’s Texas south. A sub-dialect of southern English found in the north-central part of the state.” 

 She looked back down at the notes then saw another thing. “Right here-- you wait for something that hasn’t shown up, you wait on something that’s nearby.” 

 “The taste of honey would be close,” Spencer said as he understood what Blake was saying. 

 “Yes, and the storyteller is probably from north of here.” 

 “Fewer were thrown in the hole than you think,” Rossi said when he stepped back into the room, then set his phone down on the table. “Go ahead, Garcia.” 

 “Our unsub was the MVP of solitary. He was in there more than any other prisoner,” Penelope said as she relayed what she told Rossi to the rest of the team. 

 “All right, we’re looking for somebody who didn’t belong in jail. His offense would be minimal, he might even be in there for his own protection.”Hotch gave some parameters. 

 “Uh-huh, I got a few,” Penelope responded when she got a hit. 

 “Can you read off the hometowns?” Blake asked.

 “Sure, Beaumont, Edinburgh, Sweetwater--”

 “Sweetwater, who was that inmate?” Y/N asked as the name perked her ears. She turned away from the board and stood next to Blake. 

 “Danny Tucker looks like he was only in for two months,” Penelope answered. 

 “Well, that’s long enough to tell stories to John Myres,” Hotch said.

 “Hey, his family owns property near where you are. It’s really secluded, too,” Penelope said as she found out that information. 

 “With local honey, by any chance?” Blake asked.

 “They are known for it.”

 “That’s where he’s going,” Y/N said looking at Blake next to her who nodded in agreement. 

 “Garcia, is it private property?” Hotch asked. 

 “It was, but it’s been sold. They’re building a housing development.” 

 “So it’s not the hideaway he’s hoping for,” Y/N said, looking to Hotch.

 “Where would he go?” Blake asked. 

 “He might blame Danny for lying to him. Garcia-” 

 “Danny’s house is down the road from the development, I’m sending his address to your phones now.” Penelope beat Hotch to the punch. 

 “Dave, You, Reid, and Y/N go to the site, the rest of us will go to the house,” Hotch said, sending everyone off. 

------------ 

 That evening, the team arrived back at Quantico. Sadly, John had ended up taking his own life, but Danny and his family were saved. 

 Rossi led the pack of Y/N, Spencer, JJ, and Blake through the office doors. 

 “Don’t tell me there's another one,” Rossi said as he was now face-to-face with Strauss who had been waiting for them. 

 “There’s always another one,” she replied. 

 “I told you we should’ve just gotten into our cars,” Rossi said as he regretted not doing so. 

 Y/N rested her head on Spencer’s arm. She really wanted to go home now, even after being stuck there for so long, she just wanted to go home and cuddle with Spencer. 

 “Where are we off to now?” JJ asked. 

 “Home,” Strauss responded. “You need to spend at least one night in your own beds.” 

 “Bless,” Y/N said, grabbing Spencer’s hand and leading him to the elevator. 

 “Don’t have to tell me twice,” Rossi said following close behind.

 “Yeah, me too,” JJ said as she also followed. 

 When Y/N walked through her and Spencer’s apartment door, she let out a loud, exaggerated sigh of relief. She held both her arms out as she basked in the feeling of being home. 

 “I thought you said you were done with being stuck at home,” Spencer laughed as he set down his go-bag. 

 “I say some things that I don’t mean later.” Y/N set her go-bag down by the couch and walked into the bedroom, flopping onto the bed. 

 The nicely made bed, now looking a little disheveled from the impact, surrounded Y/N. The comfort it gave relieved her back pain from the lousy hotel bed she had slept in. 

 Spencer followed closely behind, and unlike her, carefully climbed next to her in the bed. 

 “You want to tell me about that meeting now?” Spencer asked, grabbing her hand and giving it a kiss. 

 “Ugh.” Y/N groaned as she scooted closer to Spencer. She kinda hoped he would forget about it, but that would literally be impossible for him. “She asked me if I wanted to move to the fugitive task force because Emily left.” 

 “And what did you say?”

 “I said no, obviously.” 

 She had her head laying on his chest but then lifted it up to look at him. Her head rested in her hand that Spencer wasn’t holding, his thumb rubbing back and forth across her knuckles. 

 “She should know I wouldn’t want to move, I told her when I joined the BAU it was my dream,” Y/N said with her voice rising with irritation. “And it was super annoying, she acted like she was surprised that would be my answer. I don’t want to end up like how JJ did where she had to move to state by force. That was stupid. I just, she thinks she can have everything she wants-” 

 Spencer’s laughter cut her off. 

 “Why are you laughing?” She asked with furrowed brows. 

 “You’re overreacting, if you said no then nothing will happen, JJ’s case was special,” he told her with a reassuring look. “And also you’re just cute when you’re irritated,” he shrugged. 

 Her eyebrows raised in question. “Oh yeah?” 

 She let go of his hand and quickly reached for a pillow behind her head. She sat up on her knees and smacked him with the pillow. 

 “Am I cute now?” She giggled and waited for his reaction. He wrapped his arms around her waist and tackled her down to have him laying on top of her. That was enough of a distraction for him to grab his own pillow and smack her with it.  

 “Very.” 

 She sat up again and the two had a flat out pillow war. Not a fight, a war. 

 Eventually, Y/N ended up on top of Spencer, straddling his torso. Her hands grabbed his sides as she tickled him relentlessly. 

 “Okay, okay, I surrender!” He panted with laughter. 

 She stopped her assault and moved to lay on him. 

 “Yay,” she pecked his lips and moved off of him to cuddle into his side.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added!!):

@throughparisallthroughrome​ @word-scribbless​ @nintendumbfuck​ @confused-and-really-hungry​ @justine-en​ @andiebeaword​ @itsarayofsunshine​ @baby-i-am-fireproof​ @abitofeverythinggg​ @nanocoool​ @marceline-is-my-spirit-animal​ @fancyfaucet​ @im-a-raging-gay​ @atletino @mo-whore @peterparkersdestiny​ @bandsandjill​ @mbowles23-blog​ @sarcasm-n-insomnia​ @citrussirus​ @nerual222 @april-14-blog​ @reidloversisforever @heavenlyholland​ @justawildmarebae​ @sana-li​ @thesailbells​ @l0ve-0f-my-life @spencer101reid​ @spencersdolore​ @delicateprunecashpony​ @sader12345678​ @dashlilymark​ @mysticalmagicmoon​ @onebigfangirlworld​ @saturn-mp4​ @hurricanejjareau​ @thatweirdo466​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @nograciass @danandphilfan6​ @la-vie-en-amour1​ @squirrellover1967​

[snarkwrites]

06 | gangsta ; sweetpea

Notes:

So.. the sexual tension. The longing. The lingering touches and all that awkward but cute shit.. That’s starting here. Can we say sloooow burn? Because considering I’m now six chapters deep and they really haven’t... Done too much as far as touching / flirting / interacting, yeah.. That’s what this is. If you weren’t looking for a slow burn, I’m honestly not sure what to tell you? Other than oops? Oh.. Also.. this chapter and the next one I’m posting will have a few days lapse between them as far as timing. So... just so you know. It’s alluded that Sweet Pea and Alyssa have kind of bumped into each other between this chapter and the next one, if that makes sense.

Also.. I’ve pretty much planned out what stuff I am using / changing a little now, so that’s good. I have a general idea. I might even add my own events / plots to this. I’m kind of.. tempted.

Warnings:

non canon compliant - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are... definitely not going to like this. angst & slow burn, heavy sexual tension starting now, actually - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. violence / swearing & fighting, possible underage drinking and other shenanigans - look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?... eventual sexual content / a virgin original character - this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there.

Pairing:

Andrews!Sibling OFC, Alyssa x Sweet Pea

Other Parts:

[ one - two - three - four - five - soundtrack ]

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn​ is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you’d like to be tagged for this story by all means.. Please let me know. Please, I beg. It’d make me super duper happy!!!

                                                     SIX.

“You could come up to the lake house with us. It beats sitting around here moping.” Veronica spoke up as she stepped in front of the television set in my father’s living room. I tried to peer around her, grumbling because naturally, she’d pick the one scene in the entire episode I’d been dying to see since I started to re-watch the show and she’d block it.

“You realize I am trying to see Charlie Hunnam’s bare ass right now, right?” I asked calmly. Reaching for the half melted pint of butter pecan ice cream on the table in front of me and my spoon. Nodding to the empty spot on the couch that wasn’t taken up by my legs. Veronica sat down and for a few minutes, neither of us really said anything.

“What’s your attraction to this show?”

“Jax Teller, Opie Winston... Motorcycles.. But mostly Jax Teller.”

“Which one is he?”

“The blond with the very nice backside.” I nodded towards the shot I’d been waiting an entire season for, Jax Teller getting out of the shower and walking across the room.

“You definitely don’t have a type, no, not at all.” Veronica gave a soft laugh as she muttered the words. With the scene out of the way, I turned to the side to look at her.

“I’m not even going to ask what you meant by that.” I muttered.

Things were always awkward and tense between us. We were polite. But that was about the extent of it. And I felt bad about it. Obviously not bad enough to actually make an effort, even though she seemed like a really nice girl and she made my brother really happy. Happier than he’s been in a long time if I’m being honest.

I just couldn’t get past the rift her family caused in mine.

Then there was her mother, trying to hook up with my father while her actual husband was locked up in prison… But mostly, the tension her father caused between my father and my brother.

“Listen.. I heard everything that happened between you and Reggie. And if you want to come to the lake house..”

I shook my head. “ I am not crashing on the whole double date getaway you guys have going on. Besides, I doubt I’d be good company right now.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing!” Veronica was quick to speak up. “I know you don’t like me. But your brother loves you and I really.. I want to try to get to know you.”

I nodded. Taking a deep breath as I admitted quietly, “It’s not you, okay? Look. I have zero problem with you. It’s all the crap that’s going on with my brother and your dad. I’m… I’m worried about him and how far he’ll go.”

Veronica sighed. We went quiet again and she admitted after a few minutes, “I am too. If you want the truth, I don’t really like how close my dad is to him either. I don’t trust it.”

I eyed her, a brow raised.

“That’s like a dream situation though. If your father likes him, you don’t have to worry about him resorting to any of his typical clownery to end things with you two.” I curled the ends of my hair around my fingertip as I tried to understand why she wouldn’t like her father and my brother bonding a little.

Then it hit me. It had to feel awkward. Your father popping in to borrow your boyfriend. But the look on her face told me that wasn’t the only reason.

“I know what my father’s capable of. And the more I try to stop it, the more he manages to get by with. I hate everything he’s done, okay? I just.. Wanted you to know that.”

I let her words sink in.

Eyeing her as I weighed mine. Managing a smile.

“You make my brother happy. I like him happy. So if you really want to try and get to know each other, we can. But I’m not going to intrude on you guys weekend get away, because one, awkward as hell and two, I can imagine that already happens enough with your dad butting in to get him to do something or another.”

Veronica nodded, smiling. “I understand. What are you going to do this weekend?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m probably going to rewind that one scene five million times and burn it in my mind… I thought about going down to the theater and catching that horror marathon but I dunno.” I shrugged.

“A horror movie by yourself?”

“Mhm.”

After my brother came downstairs, the two of them left for the weekend and I locked the door behind them, leaning against it. Wandering over to my dad’s stereo, turning it on a hard rock station I listened to when I was home by myself just to drive out the lack of noise in the house.

I wandered into the kitchen, gathering up dirty dishes and moving them to the sink. Taking chicken out of our freezer to thaw because I thought about making chicken parmesan for me and dad when dad got off work tonight.

Vegas wandered into the kitchen and dropped his leash at my feet with a soft thud. I stopped what I was doing to lean down and pet him, nodding to the door. “In a few minutes, buddy. I’ll go find pants.”

I finished piling dishes into the sink and I wandered into the laundry room, digging around in the dryer for the jeans I’d taken off earlier, tugging them up. The door bell was literally being leaned on and I froze.

Took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that all the Black Hood nonsense was behind Riverdale because the guy was dead. Thinking it was Archie and he forgot something and was in a hurry, I made my way over to the door, unlocking it. “Hold on, Archie, damn.”

It wasn’t Archie.

Reggie stood there.

“What do you want?” I scowled.

“I miss you, okay? This is driving me crazy. Can we at least just talk about what you heard?”

“What exactly is there left to say? You were basically gambling on my virginity.” I frowned and shook my head. Shivering as the wind picked up a little.

“We can go inside and talk, Alyssa.”

“I just told you. I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Look… what you did hurt, okay? Because  I thought… nevermind.” I muttered, going quiet. Blowing at bangs I’d just gotten cut earlier in the week. He reached out to attempt pushing my hair out of my eyes and I leaned away. Vegas yelped impatiently from the doorway, his leash in his mouth now.

Seeing Reggie, he started to make his way over. Reggie bent to pet the dog and I cleared my throat. “You need to go.”

“Just let me say what I came to say.”

I tapped a bare foot against white painted wood slats and tilted my head, gazing up at him. Waiting.

“The only reason I made the stupid bet to begin with is because you’re literally the one girl I couldn’t work up the nerve to flirt with. And when I did, my charm didn’t work on you. Kinda when I started to fall. You gave me a hard time, princess.”

“ I kind of wish I’d stuck to that, actually.” I muttered. “All you had to do, Reggie, was just talk to me? Ask me on a date, I don’t know…”

“I was stupid, okay?” Reggie went quiet. Stepped a little closer. “ I love you. When I made the bet, I didn’t know how I felt about you at all. Then I started to fall and I tried to get out of the bet, Alyssa, you have to believe me. I tried to tell you but every time I’d think about it, I’d freak out because you’re the first actual good thing I’ve had in my life in a while, okay?”

I scoffed. “Yeah, I doubt that.”

“I mean it. And I’m not going to stop trying to prove it.”

I shrugged. “Do whatever you want but I’m not guaranteeing it will work. I already went against my gut instinct and gave you a chance to begin with.”

I shivered a little, hugging myself. Reggie placed his hands on my upper arms, rubbing them. Gazing down at me.

“Reggie, you need to go. I just need to think.”

“Thinking is better than you saying you hate me now… I just.. You were my best friend when we were kids.. Then I kinda fell for you and now stuff just sucks.. I don’t have my best friend or the girl I love. Anything is better than nothing.”

Reggie left and I walked back inside, flinging myself at the couch. Pulling myself together for a few seconds. Really letting what he said sink in. Trying to figure out if I felt the same thing. Or if I felt anything at all.

I finally gave up trying to force myself into a decision and after leashing Vegas, I wandered out into the chilly night air. Down to Pickens Park because Vegas likes to wander around the big grassy area between the ballfields and the playground.

After playing  fetch with a stick Vegas bought over to me, I flopped onto the grass. Vegas settled beside me and I found myself just kind of lounging there lazily, watching the clouds roll over the darkening sky lazily. Pointing at constellations when I spotted one. Vegas seemed content to just lounge there, his head resting on my stomach with me lazily giving him behind the ear skritches.

A throat cleared from nearby.

Sweet Pea stepped out, hands in his pockets. Wandering over to where I’d lazily flopped onto the grass. Sitting down nearby with his back against the tree. Close but keeping a healthy distance between us.

“Do you always lay in the park at night and talk to your dog?”

“What if I do?” I answered, rolling onto my stomach, propping on my elbow to gaze at him, my hair promptly cascading in front of my face like a messy red curtain.

“Damn it. I should’ve just chopped it all off.” I grumbled, pushing my hair out of my eyes to look at him.

“You’d look hideous bald.” Sweet Pea flashed me a teasing smirk.

“Hmphf.” I grumbled in response to his comment. “What brings you to the boring side of town?”

Sweet Pea shrugged. “Wyrm was crowded. Full of shouting kids and shit. I wanted to take a walk.”

“Toni and Cheryl went to see that movie tonight.” I laughed softly. “They asked me if I wanted to go but I said I wanted to stay home. Kind of just not feeling it. Then my brother’s girlfriend asked if I wanted to go on that weekend trip they all took.”

“You could be soaking in a hot tub right now.” Sweet Pea teased, a lesser seen teasing smile tugging at his mouth as he glanced at me.

“Honestly? I’d rather eat glass than indulge in anything Hiram Lodge is a part of. I’ll be nice to Veronica and try to get to know her, but that’s pretty much it. You know he brought my brother a car, right?”

“Yeah. I heard.” Sweet Pea answered, glancing over at me.

“Dad wasn’t thrilled with it either. That’s fine. Absolutely fine. I want Dad’s truck anyway. I’ll just spend weekends helping dad work on it. It’ll be more time I can spend with the grumpy old man.” I smiled to myself. One good thing about moving to Riverdale was that I was finally getting to spend more time with my father and my brother.

“You couldn’t even see over the wheel though. Can you even drive to begin with?” Sweet Pea shot me a teasing glance. Quick to step away from me just a little further, raising his hands. “I’m not trying to invoke the wrath of the midget.”

“It’s called a booster seat, asshole. And actually yeah. I do okay at driving. I mean aside from a go kart incident back in Chicago...” I teased right back, the two of us sharing a laugh that fell silent.

Sweet Pea stood, holding out a hand.

I eyed his hand and sat up, grabbing hold. Letting him pull me off the grass. Vegas rose to sit on his hind legs, then made his way over, sitting down right between Sweet Pea and I.. the little space that remained, there is. When he’d pulled me up, he’d pulled me with enough force that I wound up barely pressed against him. Close enough that my breath caught in my throat for a few seconds.

We sprang apart. Sweet Pea’s hand settled on top of Vegas’ head lazily and he chuckled when Vegas licked his hand, wiping his hand on the thigh of his jeans.

“It’s late. And colder.” Sweet Pea pointed out, nodding in the direction of my house. I glanced up at the sky and unable to resist, I retorted, “You don’t say, captain obvious.”

I jumped back out of his way a little and he stepped up. Towering over me.

“C’mon. I’ll walk you back.”

“But sir. I have a perfectly capable guard dog? What would the upstanding hypocritical assholes on this street think.. A  big bad Serpent walking defenseless little me home?” I pretended to pout up at him, laughing softly. “I was joking.” I muttered a few seconds later.

He shook his head, muttered something I couldn’t quite make out and we started to walk down the sidewalk, towards my father’s house.

The streetlight flickered on above us, bathing us in soft and almost hazy lighting thanks to the fog that was starting to kind of set in.

The leaves crunched beneath my feet. Shattering this heavy air of silence that seemed to settle over us.

“I’m gonna.. Go. Back to the Wyrm.” Sweet Pea muttered abruptly a few seconds later. Lingering, even though he said he’d leave. Gazing down at me as if he were in a daze. Or caught up in his own thoughts. A million miles away.

“I need to get Vegas in the house.” I muttered, nipping at my lip as I held eye contact. Trying not to think about what I’d revealed to Cheryl and Toni a few days ago about maybe being attracted to him… But it was all I could think about at the moment. His eyes darted down, settling on my bottom lip. Then he shook his head, turning swiftly and disappearing around the corner up the street.

I walked inside, making the comment to Vegas, “That wasn’t weird at all, huh buddy?” Vegas just tilted his head, gazing up at me. I bent to take off his leash, hanging it up. Fluffing his fur before hurrying into the kitchen to grab myself a soda.

Settling in on the couch. Turning the television back on.

And promptly falling asleep in the middle of a rewatch of the first season of Punisher. And as I slept, I found myself dreaming about Reggie. And then, oddly enough, Sweet Pea.

When I woke up the next morning, it was to a few seconds of confusion because the dream I’d woken up from had been so vivid that I honestly thought it actually happened. I pouted as soon as the realization sunk in that it had been a dream.

And I grumbled in annoyance with myself because I wanted it to be real. Because lately, spending all this time around Sweet Pea, I was starting to feel like maybe I didn’t just think he was hot.

Maybe I actually did feel something.

Before that thought could take root, I was shoving it back out of my head again. Refusing to acknowledge it. Because the hot guys are always the ones that somehow manage to do the most damage. And I was still pretty hurt over the way things played out with Reggie. Afraid to open myself up. Afraid to trust. Afraid to try, if I’m being honest because I was at least 95 percent sure that Sweet Pea would probably laugh his ass off at me if I were dumb enough to do so.

[lucy-shining-star]

So, I rarely do episode reactions but this is finale, so I need to do it:

Mingo, Zoom and Estrella <3

Hi Marlena. I think Marlena is my one of my favourites minor characters for if only because I think she has sibling like relationship with Mateo. So I’m glad she did get lowkey bigger role this season even though it’s still small.

I must note despite everything kids didn’t boo at ‘lying cousin Esteban’

Shuriki from Spirit Wolrd: I do not do high-fives, and did you just make me dance? And I wouldn’t let Esteban dance also. 

Puppets facial expressions are something else

I love how Armando had puppet Gabe on his head for a moment

Lmao, I think getting public to not be angry at Esteban wouldn’t be that hard if now it can be singed ‘Poor Victor and Carla Delgado’ after they have been wanted criminals for like...two years?

Puppet Esteban hiding behind puppet AshXD

Armando and Marlena are so cute

I love the parts when kids are singing

I really love ‘long may she reign’ part

Also, I was confused everytime when someone was singing/saying ‘four years’ cause I was not sure if that was ‘four years’ or ‘for years’

Zuzo, don’t scare her

‘You can’t believe everything a whispering campfire tells you’ I love Zuzo being dissmisant of prophercies.

Elena with that excited ‘I waited four years’ 

I saw that people were worried that Francisco was dying because of that and later and I’m like...it didn’t cross my mind that it could mean that.

Well, it’s not last

Naomi,Isabel,Gabe and Mateo are relatable.

Sorry, Dona, Zuzo ruined your chance in previous episode

How Elena doesn’t know she has to do these things? She was heir to throne since birth? She was so busy preparing two episodes ago? HOW litterally everyone else knows and treats like it’s obvious!? 

Elena making Gabe and Mateo hold hands <3

Royals <3

‘I can’t wait to try your fine cuisine’ I see king Toshi has same priorities as me.

I see Alonso looks slightly different than last time?

Valentina being in carriage with Alonso and his father <3 Now that I think about it, Cordoba and Paraiso are both close to Avalor, so they are probably close to each other too?

Hector in carriage with these two kings who he used to boss around until Elena came. I assume they made up and now are equal friends?

Poor Armando. Also, Valentina little too late to say thatXD

Wait, what they were about to do? What runthrough?

That looks beautiful

Lmao at Ixlan not caring

Warning isn’t enough, but does that mean they didn’t warn her? Or they did? Though, if they did they shouldn’t be surprised that she came

Lmao at them knowing she will go anyway

So...that means when Craig said that Franciso may now be ashamed (that was what he wrote?) of his vote about Esteban he was probably just tired of that question and decided to troll?

Elena’s ‘Not anymore’ is kind of scary.

I still can’t believe how naive Ash is

Chatana...Tziloco found it? Okay, he didn’t notice that he found it, but still, that was joined effort.

How did she know it’s under the ocean not on it?

I love how they look at Isa with such admiration cause she invented poisonous arrows.

Only Antonia from the rest of the guards?

Ooo...you are both adorable sidekicks.

Esteban and Elena conflict third season is really direct opposite of Cassandra and Rapunzel conflict in tangled third seasonXD I mean in how how traitor-antagonist and protagonist react to each other.

I’m lowkey surprised that Mateo is surprised that she got his name rightXD 

Esteban and Ixlan sceneXD

I think Isa also thinks that jellyfish is a baby.

Marissa!

Poor Carla.

Why Esteban teleported there?

Wow, Elena really control her emotion powers.

Unforunately, she still let emotions decide for her.

Lmao at Shades renaming themselves.

Mateo, sweetie, that was stupid.

Ixlan finally seeing challenge.

Mateo with glowing green eyes looks nice. Scary, but nice.

Isa already taking charge.

At first I thought Elena’s angery magic started kicking in here. Also her angery face here is glorious.

Okay, Vuli’s face colours changing are like Elena’s dress, but his main colour is green so...I dunno,it’s kinda weirdXD

I think that is my favourite song in whole episode. 

Those Shades really likes to invade Esteban’s personal space

I heard Ozai with angery ‘Tell us!’

I see Hetz actually have to think about what to sing.

Cahu’s voice hypnotizes me. Like when she talks also,but singing is double powerful. Also, I’m not sure if she is the most powerful? Like,on one hand, her powers is the scariest. On the other,she is the only one that needs a tool.

Oh, even Cahu saluted

I love how Cahu sang ‘We’ll meet them’

‘So you can rule your subjects like their puppets on a string’ I see Yolo is planning Esteban rule to be like this Zuzo au.

Did Esteban realize something is off when Cahu sang ‘And we’ll finish what we started long ago?’ I guess he did and then forgot the second she finished that line.

I’m sad we didn’t get to see Ash face when Bobo said ‘The one and only’. She was probably like ‘Hey,that’s my line’

...Now I’m imagining Ash trying to rule the Zanies. Just out of spite.

I wonder, did Isabel and Elena tell anyone else about that vision?

I see Naomi remembers Valentina’s got magic since I guess it’s like ‘Valentina definitely can help, and maybe someone else’

Elena finding out she has more body count than she thought.

‘Oh,drama’XD He is so happy about it

She plays pretty well for someone who can’t stand it.

‘Us probably’ it’s great line,but they are already looking away.

So the answer is Valentina.

Do they know Marissa? Also it’s nice to see Naomi and Marissa coming here together after Naomi hated Marissa that much.

Lmao at Raul and Lucia’s reactions.

Hi Orizaba

First of all: Zoopitole is Mateo’s body count

Which makes me remember I used to think Mateo is ‘looks like cinammon roll,is a cinnamon roll’ while Naomi is ‘looks like they could kill you,can actually kill you’ but it sure looks different. Naomi, you dissapointed me.

So I need to completely change how I see this meme when it comes to all four amigos. So Mateo ‘looks like a cinammon roll,could actually kill you’, Naomi is ‘looks like they could kill you, is actually cinammon roll’ Gabe is ‘looks like a cinammon roll, is a cinammon roll’ and Elena is ‘looks like could kill you,could actually kill you’

Although actually I think they are all capable of killing.

Second of all: Here they should be Flo shouting ‘I was right!’

‘Elena victims club up high!’ is great, tho.

Oh, I didn’t notice earlier that Cahu did little ‘no,don’t say that’ geture to Vulu after he said ‘let’s make it ours’. It looks kinda cute.

‘It’s that you,moustache’ ‘That’s king moustache too you’ lmao

‘They are our allies’...um,Esteban? 

It kinda looked like Vuli is about to touch Abigail’s bust

They are pretty calm for being touched with chaos touch. Like they just hit the hitting bals with clubs.

Chloe and Dona hereXD

Also, is Dona escaping and Naomi right after saying she has some ideas finale foreshadowing on her being new chancellor?

‘If I told you,you wouldn’t let me do it’ ‘What? Isabel!’ Isa, he has enough of this with your sister

‘Your forecast, looks bleak’ I like that line

Isa on her way to have body count

Isa killing powerfulf shade. Gabe and Luna being proud of her <3

Yolo getting scared and Hetz appearing in spirit world immadietely. I love this whole sequence

Hi,Cacahute

Elena looks so cute here when she realised she should go after Ash

‘If you keep hearing in the darkness of your past, you will never see a brighter future’? Though I’m not sure if hearing was the word used here

Wait, that’s still don’t explain everything. Did Esteban make deal with Shuriki knowing that she would invade anyway hoping if he help her she wouldn’t hurt his family? Did he try to convince her to not attack and then she manipulated him with saying she is going to listen to him when his family didn’t?

Vuli really likes to sing.

Ixlan is sure confident.

What exactly Valentina wanted Alonso to do? He has no magic, no sword, no lasso, no fancy cool inventions? I doubt he has much body strenght?

Oh, Vuli being sad for Hetz <3

Oh, Alonso protecting Valentina <3 

Did Esteban just...slide down the railing?

Luisa had great speech 

Esteban really did not realise he is a villain? 

Cahu summed up Esteban great.

But that also mean they saw everything...I think they know that is was really Ash who freed them.

Also, Elena is too focused on revenge, is too emotional, and too focused on past, and Esteban trusts who pretends to listen and wants power to be heard...

They are both Anakin 

That’s why everything ended well in episode with Mark Hamill XD

When you walk in to some evil lady being dangerously close to your first cousin who happens to be often swayed by evil ladies (oh,and also you grandparents are turned to a stone right next to it). No, but seriously she really was close. Isa is going to have trauma

Some time later:

‘Isa: Please tell me you are a gay or ace.

Esteban: What? Why...I’m...

Isa: Please!

Esteban: Okay...So...I’m ace?

Isa:That’s a relief, thanks.-she goes

Esteban:What was that about?

Elena,seeing scene from some distance:No,seriously, what was that about?

Naomi,Mateo and Gabe who know what this is about exchanging”we are not telling her” looks in the bakground’

Rafa didn’t notice something is wrong?

Hi,Alacazar

Flo making sure she annoys Grand Macaw enough she would let her out too

...Actually Elena could just tell him she brought Flo to life with her emotions and he would kick her out to not risk having more creatures like this in his nest.

Thank you Bobo for vocalising your irritation with that. You saved Elena

Didn’t Ash find it suspicious that Elena stopped Bobo or she didn’t notice?

Hi Sanza 

Hi Shuriki, I see you saw that kid eating popcorn during the song in the beggining and decided you want it too.

Also, she is probably happy right now that Elena loses only to find out Elena goes back to real worldXD Unless she knew it, Troyo didn’t seem surprised.

Also, I wonder how music and dance hater feels about being stuck at eternal party. I suppose she found that olaball game moment of relieve

Zoopitole, that was harsh. I can’t believe they made me feel sorry for Ash. I hope she didn’t hear ir.

Mateo’s sad voice when he told shades had taken over Avalor :(

Isa’s sad voice when she said ‘I’m sorry’ :(

‘Pride had put my heart to sleep, but now I’m wide awake. I have hurt everyone, the damage is done’ I love this part. Also love Esteban’s eyes when he opens the door.

The change of scene with fountains is beautiful.

I’m little dissapointed that Isa didn’t talk during that part so I would have all main characters kinda-shared song. Even though only two sing, but still that would be little something.

Elena hugging Skylar <3

Esteban on that throne :(

Carmen’s face after little touch of chaosXD

‘You don’t wanna mess wtih Vuli’ ‘Okay’ I love Migs here

Vuli, you really are attacking your friend for accident?

I love that Gabe didn’t use tamborita in the finale but got his main skill show off just with his tool powered up by a Mateo. 

Also love that got to use his signature move that got stolen by two peopleXD in real fight.

Also, Antonia used tamoborita...I’m kind of starting to think there is some general rule that women more often have natural talent for magic.

‘Or send us’ and not reacting to Elena’s ‘wait, you didn’t mention that’. Same feral energy as Isa’s earlier.

Oh, Yolo (Vulu too? I’m not sure) is happy to see Hetz again <3

Mateo and Gabe turned into a stone right after their sucess :(

Also, I think they are the only one besides Francisco and Luisa to be two people turned into same stone? That’s kind of shippy

Elena’s face after that

Skylar :(

That’s sadistic on one side, but on the other,good that she decided to torture her before killing

Good choice, Esteban. Extremely predictable way to reedem him but that’s a good thing.

Congratulations Esteban on earning your redemption.

Hmm, now all of show main male characters are turned into stone. 

<3

The forgivness dress is white! Yeah, I thought so for longer time!

Though the reason is most probably either cause white is angelic colour or mixed coulour of rainbows I thought this because of that dress (and...that might be foreshadowing of white forgivness dress?):

And to lesser extent that:

Because of that first dress being in episode where Esteban after making mistake decided that he (well,and Naomi and Mateo and Luna.Though not really Luna) owes her more than apology, and also because that’s where we got little more of his backstory.

And the second because Esteban was reffering to this episode in his clue, even though she didn’t have that dress in scene he was reffering to. Also, in that episode Elena was especially worried about being noble leader, and she was afraid of losing everything again even though there was no real threat at those point.

Also, that’s why I kinda tried to find connections to certain episodes in Elena’s other colours. 

'You can’t change what you did before, but you can change what you do next’ right?

Wow, how she control that. And it’s beautiful <3

Oh, and she remembers that others need to be saved to without having to see them

Valentina hug-spinning Alonso <3

Gabe and Mateo nicely landed.

Also, I was lowkey surprised here that Naomi first checked on Mateo, despite being suggested to being in love (in relationship?) with Gabe, but since every other from amigos ships was teased, and that was only Naomi and Mateo one-on-one interaction in the whole special, I’m happy with that.

...How Esteban managed to aim correctly when Elena has to work on that pretty long?

Elena:Well, I let you use my tool, so now I’m going to use yours

Did flames told Quita Moz after the test what it was or he just didn’t tell Elena earlier? Or he figures out himself what test was?

Wow, Luisa is surprised that Elena forgave Esteban

Elena and Esteban hug <3

Elena and Isabel hug <3

Amigos hug <3

We have a queen to crown <3

That pose during changing of the scene is cute:

Mingo, Zoom and Estrella <3

Hector bowing <3

Tomiko doing ‘<3′ <3

I love how all teen(wait,no...young adults?) royals are in the same shot <3

Elena looking at Esteban and he bowing <3 Dona smiling <3

Hi Sofia! And Amber! And James! And Miranda! And Roland!

Although James, Sofia and Amber look kinda weird

Technically, Elena isn’t one yet too, since she isn’t crowned yet

 Also now I kinda wish we had seen Vor in spirit world cause I still don’t know if Sofia has body count or that was just exorcism

‘Elena,queen of Avalor’<3

‘All hail the queen’<3

Lmao at Gabe and Mateo

I saw people saying it looked like marriage proposal before I saw episode, and I thought it was just shipping googles, but damn, it really did look like that.

Daniel and Scarlett already proud in the background

‘With the best insticts in the kingdom’ Naomi, you are awesome

‘Gabe,you’ve been by my side since my first day of rule’ <3 Love Gabe’s eyes here. 

‘Mateo,we’ve been through so much together, you and I’ <3

Mateo is so cute here

Okay, so that was like super cute and ship teasing all ships between Elena and her amigos,but...Does Gabe and Mateo’s new titles change anything for them? Or was Elena just like ‘Okay, I’m going to be queen, I’m going to make Naomi chancellor and Isabel royal inventor...boys would have feel left out. My boys also need fancy titles’

Isa being royal inventor and that hug <3

Elena teasing Mateo and Gabe XD

Kinda thought she might choose Esteban. Still,cute <3

Four servants giving guitars, to four people, and one of them isn’t even from royal family. Wow

Elena touching all amigos hands <3

For some reason I kinda don’t like line ‘And now you’ve crowned me’ but like. Literally only that line. And I don’t know why.

Elena dancing with Francisco <3

Elena hugging Isa and Luisa <3

Elena twirling with Naomi <3

Gabe and Mateo twirling Elena in the while lifting her <3

Gabe putting his hand on Mateo’s shoulder <3 

Elena hugging Skylar <3 Luna being only one eating, relatable. And Skylar coming for more hugs <3

She seemed surprised that they started signing here. But only for a moment

That hand move with ‘I know we gonna be alright’ looks so cool

Mateo and Gabe lifting Elena while she is sitting<3 

Esteban breakdancingXD Though, for being such major character there was very little of him in that last song.

I love the way Naomi pulled Gabe into dance

Isa and James look cute

Lmao, Craig said that he THINKS Ixlan and Antonia share some scene when they actually had a dance with in which Antonia holds Ixlan down with that face? 

Also, Ixlan is impressed

‘Are you ready for day two?’ ‘I am!’ <3

Mateo and Carla buming heads and holding hands <3 I was hoping for some positive interaction that could be seen as ship tease with tight shipping googles but turns out googles didn’t need to be that tight. Also I think I would be happy if that actually means they are confirmed. Like, eleteo is still my otp, but I really love this one too. Kinda like I’m happy with ichihime being canon depsite ishihime being my fave Orihime ship also though it probably helps that ichiruki is my notp and renruki is my otp for whole manga but also why i’m taliing about bleach while didn’t read most of it. Altough that could be just, okay now let’s dance together like normal people

Alonso and Valentina being their extra selves together <3 I waited for any interaction for so long, and now I’ve been fed so much <3

Oh, Hector and Abigail walking-jumping hand in hand. Cute

Marissa twirls beautifully. I lowkey laugh at Marzel’s walk though.

Dona seemingly kissing Julio behind that fan really took me by surprise. I didn’t expect that level of ship tease.

Elena and Sofia being last dance <3

I didn’t notice earlier Naomi threw scepter to Elena

That beautiful spoiled shot <3

Elena’s crown falling down, and she having to adjust it, and Naomi’s face and Isa laugh <3 

Wow,background to credits is stunnigly beautiful.

So anyway, I really love the finale! It’s so emotional and beautifully concludes everything. 

[missbeautyandherbeast]

It’s Nice To Have A Friend

Michelangelo X Reader

Summary: Taking people under your wing was your thing until four mutant brothers took you under theirs. It still didn’t stop you from taking one of them under your wing. Until you screwed that up from miscommunication and some harsh words. Can you fix this? How are you supposed to express emotions when you barely understand the situation? Is it too late to save what you broke? Can you save your friend?

A/N: For the ever-lovely @brightlotusmoon, here’s my drabble into Mikey, making his a round character in my own mind as well as on paper. I hope I did him justice, and you justice. 

Word Count: +3,200

Warnings: Angst, panic attacks, self-loathing, fluff, abuse

Was living underground with four large mutant turtles weird? Sure.

If you wanted to call it that. To me, it was a family, as it was to them, brothers and a father. They had all welcomed me with curiosity and hesitancy as I showed immunity to mutagen, and retro- mutagen—both of which happened in Donnie’s lab after a mishap and me tripping over my own feet.

It freaked me out, to say the least. Again, the questioned seemed to be: what was wrong with me? Again I felt different, out of place, with no answer as to why. I loathed it.

To Donnie I was something to be studied, he tried to hide it and he did pretty well, but I caught the nuances. I wasn’t opposed to it too much, I wanted answers as well. But I wished that I was a bit more than an experiment.

To Leo, I was someone to protect. Whatever was different—wrong—about me he wanted to be kept safe from Shredder and the Kraang. Which I understood, but I also refused to fight, or even learn how. I could defend myself, but I refused to go on the offense, or hurt anyone, even if it was someone trying to hurt me. I knew this frustrated him, but he respected my choice of pacifism.

Raphael and I fought. A lot. Not physically, but verbally. He reminded me too much of my abusive older brother that I had finally gotten away from by moving to New York, and there was something about him that sparked anger in me. I found the confidence to snap back at him when he made offhand rude comments, to anyone. Most of the time Leo stepped in and reprimanded Raph before things could get too far. If the red brute didn’t back down, Splinter intervened.

Then there was Mikey. He was the only one who didn’t treat me differently because of who, what I was. Instead, we played Mario Kart until I got good enough to beat him, sometimes. I showed him my comic books and TV shows, and I watched him fall in love with them as I was. We spent nights reading fan theories, working on cosplay, and jamming to Taylor Swift.

It’s nice to have a friend. 

.................................

And Mikey was the one I stood up for the most against Raph. As soon as I started to notice that Mikey was his favorite target, I got a bit more observant. Signs that I knew, because I had the same reactions around my own brother.

“You actually like that stuff? You’re so weird.” Raph muttered as we started to binge Doctor Who.

“Says the one who spends every minute of every day looking in a mirror, or working out.” I snapped back.

Raph scoffed and walked off as Mikey was silent beside me, looking down. I leaned against him as the show continued. Slowly he relaxed and we ended up, like always, tangled in blankets, passed out, as the show continued to play.

Raph seemed to back down after a while, now that I was always there to fight back against him. There was a solace around the Lair when the comments ceased to exist. Sometimes they were there, like teasing, or light-hearted jokes, but nothing that cut too deep. I made sure of that.

It was nice to be a friend.

....................................

After a few months, I felt safe enough to go back to my apartment every few nights, just to be in my own space, something that I desperately needed to stay sane. It was comforting, being back in my own small studio apartment on Cornelia. I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Play my own music, eat what and when I wanted to, wear what I wanted. I had no one to impress but me.

Mikey came over the first night that I was back in my apartment. He had a pizza and sodas for the two of us as he stood on my fire escape. I laughed to myself and let him in, going to grab paper towels.

We fell into our normal routine, nested in my bed, watching TV—this time it was season 14 of Supernatural—eating and curled up under blankets. Well, I was under blankets, Mikey radiated heat like a space heater. He finished most of the pizza while I nibbled on my one slice.

When the last episode ended, Mikey was shocked when I jumped up and threw the remote towards the TV. His reflexes were quick enough to snatch it before it did any damage, though he seemed to be in the same agitated state that I was in.

I growled. “They can’t just! It’s not fair! They! And he! And Sammy! And Jack! And UGH!” I paced.

“How is that supposed to be the end of the season!” Mikey exclaimed. “They can’t just do that!” “How is there supped to be only one more season to fix that!” I countered.

We both stared at the TV screen, in tense silence, settling down next to each other again.

“I need something to take my mind off of that,” I muttered, scrolling for another movie.

We ended up re-watching Miraculous Ladybug for like the fifteenth time. We both ended up liking the show, a weird mix of my love for cartoons and his love of anime. Nothing like a boy in a leather catsuit and a girl in polka-dotted spandex fighting an old man who loves butterflies and not his son to comfort the mind.

I rearranged my seventy-five pillows and nestled down next to the warm terrapin, allowing myself to get comfortable. Winter was setting into New York and I was about to really miserable with the oncoming cold weather. It was nice with Mikey though. I could always count on his warmth.

Letting the episodes play through, my eyes eventually became too heavy to reopen. My dreams were light and safe. They always were when I wasn’t sleeping alone. It was nice, for once, not to need melatonin, or not be up until four am, or not need my nightly counting routines to lull me to sleep.

It’s nice to have a friend. 

.................................

Once a week Donnie and I worked on figuring out what was so different about me that I was immune. It was a slow-going process because I got tired or disinterested before we could make it too far, and every brother and Splinter was keen on not pushing me farther than I could manage.

“I’m a freak,” I muttered to Donnie one week, looking down at the floor.

“Take it from a huge talking turtle, you’re not a freak.” Donnie mused, a smile playing at his lips.

“Okay, but mutagen affected you: normal. Retro mutagen affects you: normal. Me, absolutely nothing. I’m a freak.” I laid back on the exam table, closing my eyes.

I heard his gentle laugh. I simply sighed.

“No one wants a freak, Don,” I muttered. “No one is gonna want me. I’ll always be weird.” 

“That’s not true. You’re a wonderful person Y/n, anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“No one wants a freak,” I repeated, sighing. “No one can love a freak,”

He was quiet for a moment as if he were debating the notion.

“Maybe we’re all doomed then.” He decided.

I chuckled and shook my head, sitting up.

“Do you need me for anything else?” I rubbed my face and stretched.

“You should be alright for today, I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“Thanks, Don.”

I almost ran into Mikey as I left the lab.

“Hey.” My face lit up. “You wanna watch somethin’? There’s a new series that I’ve been meaning to watch, or I could show you Rocky Horror Picture Show, that’s a classic.” I went through my mental checklist of things that I wanted him to watch, trying to settle on the best one.

“No thanks. I gotta patrol. Just came to say bye.” His voice was almost void of emotion. 

“Oh.” My face fell. “Okay, be safe.” I frowned a bit but kept my emotions under wraps.

Watching him leave, I wandered into the main room, trying to solve the look on his face and his tone, feeling like I was missing something.

“That was pretty harsh there Y/n.” Raph leaned against the wall next to the lab.

“What?” I turned my attention to him. “What did I even do? What was all that?” I gestured weakly.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Mikey heard you.” He made air-quotes: “‘No one can love a freak’? Almost sounded like me.”

“I’m still not getting it?” I stood, anxiety clawing my insides. Had I hurt Mikey somehow?

“The kid is head over heels for you Y/n, and you just told him that you’d never love a freak.” Raph laid it out, his tone was cold and distant.

I froze, panic taking over my entire form. I didn’t think, I just did. I grabbed my jacket and slipped on my shoes. I ignored Raph’s questions, I ignored Donnie’s questions. I couldn’t ignore the hands that held me back though. I thought I heard Donnie explain through a muddled mind.

“I have to make this right,” Tears were slipping down my cheeks. “I didn’t mean that. I didn’t...” I could feel my breath hiking moving towards hyperventilation. “Mikey...” My voice was broken.

I was broken.

I had broken my friend.

My best friend.

Who loved me?

...he loved me back.

The revelation was mind shattering. Both my mind and heart laid shattered, the pieces oozing into the concrete floor, refusing to be put back together.

“I’ll go find him.” Raph decided.

“No!” I shouted. “He’s going to think you’re lying. That you’re dragging him along. I have to go. I have to make this right.” My voice was squeaky and pathetic, but it was the truth.

“She’s right. Go shadow her, but she has to be the one to do it.” Donnie rubbed my shoulders comfortingly as he spoke to Raph.

I stumbled out into the cold night, cursing the frigid air.

“Mikey!” I shouted hopelessly. “Mikey, please I need to talk to you! Please!” The tears that ran down my face threatened to freeze. I wiped them away in an attempt to keep warm.

I walked quickly down the route that I knew Mikey patrolled, keeping my eyes on the rooftops, muttering his name and wiping tears away until I couldn’t anymore.

I crumbled onto a nearby bench and buried my face in my hands, sobbing for my loss, my stupid mistake, for my Mikey.

“Y/n!”

It wasn’t the voice that I wanted, but my head shot up, in panic.

“We gotta go! Now!” Raph was right beside me in a matter of moments, lifting me into his arms and taking off, in a direction that held no meaning to me.

“Raph!” I complained.

“Mikey was caught by the Kraang. Leo’s trying to get in now, but...” He shook his head as he turned another block.

Fear froze my shattered heart. The words didn’t want to process.

“Hey, hey. Hold it together kid, he’s gonna be okay.” Raph soothed, sensing my despair.

“This is my fault.” I sobbed. “I did this.”

“Hey. No. This is not... good lord kid. This wasn’t you. I swear.” Raph’s voice was hard and commanding. It reminded me of Leo.

When he stopped on a random block, in front of a random building, a warehouse, he made the mistake of letting me go.

I hit the ground running into the building, right into the center of a vast floor, filled with Kraang, and... and Mikey. When his eyes flashed to mine I almost collapsed. He wasn’t dead. I could still tell him I was sorry. I could...

“Let him go,” I whispered, taking careful steps forward. “Please.”

There was a commotion behind me, and I didn’t even have to turn back to know that it was the other brothers, coming to our aid. My eyes didn’t leave Mikey’s. There was so much hurt and betrayal in them. And now I knew why.

I jumped when a blur of silver flashed by me and into the droid closest to Mikey, sending sparks flying, and the Kraang bot dropping to the ground.

“Man, these things are always creepy,” Raph muttered.

Then all hell broke loose. Both sides advanced, and I was caught in the crossfire. Something pulled me down to the floor, and I landed hard on my wrist. I watched as Mikey’s eyes widened in horror, his eyes fixed on something behind me.

I turned and saw a gun pointed at my head, one of the Kraang’s high tech ones.

A swipe of a katana and the Kraang was no more. Leo and I locked eyes; fear in mine and determination in his.

“Go! I’ll cover you!” He shouted, stealing a glance in his youngest brother’s direction.

I leaped to my feet and dashed through the carnage to get to my Mikey. I knelt beside him, trying to figure out his bonds, thanking someone that they were only rope.

“Just leave me.” Mikey bit out. It was like a slap to the face. “I’m nothing but I freak to you anyway.”

The depressing words weighed on my soul and my body until I was held in place by the weight of his words. I had to stop my task of untying him to fight the urge to not scream and cry. I rested my forehead on his shoulder, tears making their way down my face.

“I didn’t...” I choked out. “I was talking about me. I’m the freak. I’m unlovable. I’m unwanted.” I sobbed out. “I’m so unlovable.” I shook my head, wrapping my arms around myself, looking him in the eye. “There was never a day that I didn’t love you.”

Recognition crossed his face, as I sat back on my knees, my head bowed and shoulders hunched, as I finally let go of holding my hurt back, sobs shaking my frame softly as they left my lips in unintelligible self-loathing words. My arms desperately tried to hold all of me together, but no matter how tightly I wrapped them around me, I still fell apart.

Until warm familiar arms wrapped around me tightly did I feel whole again. These arms held me together when I couldn’t do it on my own. These arms and these hands picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and took the time to put them back together with care.

“Don’t leave me, please. Please. Please.” I choked out, wrapping my arms around him, my friend, my best friend, my lifeline, my Michelangelo, my Mikey. “I love you, please,”

I could feel his hand stroke my hair gently, as he pulled me into his lap, encasing me with warmth until I wasn’t shaking anymore. I waited and prepared for the worst. He wouldn’t want me. He wouldn’t love me. He couldn’t forgive me for this. I was unforgivable. Unlovable.

I sank into these thoughts until darkness consumed me.

This is what it was like to lose a friend.

..........................................

“Let her mind protect itself. She’ll come around when she can handle it all again.” The voice was muted and muddled, and made little sense.

“It’s been an hour Donnie,” A worried voice, much closer to me, argued back.

I wanted to tell the voice that I was okay. That I was here. He didn’t need to worry. I was fine. Mikey didn’t need to worry.

“Y/n!?” He called, urgent. “Can you hear me? Y/n!?”

“M’fine...” I mumbled, my eyelashes fluttering as I opened my eyes. Intense blue eyes stared back at me; tears mixed in.

“M’fine Mikey.” I curled up further into his arms.

“Don’t let her fall asleep she might have a concussion,” Donnie warned. I wanted to glare at him. I was fine. Peachy.

I still had my friend.

I hoped.

.....................................

I blinked a few times and struggled to sit up. Realizing what I was trying to accomplish, Mikey’s arms supported me, aiding me.

“You okay angelcakes?” His voice was gentle and worried still.

I nodded, ignoring my pounding headache. I looked up at him, afraid. What now? What was he going to say? What was I going to do if he sent me away? If he didn’t love me back?

“Are you really up this time?” He asked, hesitant.

I frowned and blinked a few more times, rubbing my eyes. I noticed that one of my hands was in a brace. I stared at it with curiosity.

“You hurt your wrist. Donnie doesn’t think it’s broken, but he’s not entirely sure.” He was almost sheepish to explain the fact.

I looked up at him, waiting for more. Tensed and prepared for the worst, praying and hoping for the best.

“Did you mean it?” He whispered, cupping my jaw with one of his hands. I leaned into the warmth. “Do you really love me? Freak and all?” His blue eyes were pleading with mine, begging the fact to be true.

“Since the first night that you stayed.” My voice was raspy and broken sounding from dehydration and being rubbed raw from my sobs, but it spoke the truth.

There was a moment of deliberation on his face before he pressed his lips to mine. I wasn’t shocked. I was relieved. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers twisting into the tails of his bandana. He was gentle while kissing me as if he were afraid to break me, and part of me knew that he could. If he wanted to.

But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to break me. Or leave me, or yell at me.

He wanted to kiss me and be near me. He wanted to love me. Like I wanted to love him. Freely, openly, courageously.

Pulling away sooner than I wanted, the turtle pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before his blue eyes enraptured mine.

“You’re not unlovable. And you’ve never been unwanted.” He whispered. “I want you. And God, Y/n, I love you.” There was a small smile on his face, my breaking dawn.

“Freak and all?” I murmured. 

“Freak and all.” He chuckled.

It’s nice to have a love. 

.......................................

Curled up on the couch on a late Friday night after Mikey’s patrol, I laid gentle kisses on his neck, half paying attention to the movie on. He smiled down at me and pulled me closer.

“I don’t see why you like these movies.” He scoffed.

“Reminds me of you, us,” I whispered. “He’s so keen on protecting her, he almost loses her. He’s part of another world that she gets thrown into, and walks in it willingly. She’s different though. She’s immune to their powers.” My eyes flickered to the screen. “‘I tell you I can read minds, and you want to know if there’s something wrong with you?’” I quoted.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a dork.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“But I’m yours.” I grinned cheesily up at him.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It’s nice to have a friend.

..................................

Don’t be afraid to comment and reblog! I love knowing what you guys have to say and I love your feedback always!

[ohjaimelannister]

Do you think Hoppers actually dead though?

O K A Y.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to pull all of this together so here we go! NO Anon, I do not think that Chief James Hopper has gone and died on us. There’s no REAL evidence (there are easter eggs though) however and the Duffer Brothers could still pull the rug out from under us but hey.

No I do not believe that Hopper is dead. Although some things can be interpreted as pretty final and if the Duffers really kill him off I will never watch this show again, because it’s horrifically SHITTY writing and im already super tired of that this year lmao.

One - There is no body? We were never showed a body or what’s left of one? We have seen bodies for Benny, Barb, Bob and Billy (and even people who were in it for like 5 minutes). THEY EVEN PRODUCED A FAKE WILL WHEN THEY WANTED US TO THINK HE WAS DEAD. THEY AREN’T AGAINST SHOWING US BODIES!!! Which brings me to my next point!

Two - They also aren’t against to showing us death. Lots of gory detailing death, WHOEVER it is. Billy died horrifically but you saw it even though hes a kid. Bob got ripped to shreds.  And even those dudes at the beginning of S3 died horribly? They still showed it. Hopper’s death??? It cuts away. You see NOTHING. AT. ALL. There aren’t even any remnants OF a body where he was standing, and Joyce goes down there and LOOKS. Surely shed find something? Gooey grossness like the bodies at the beginning? Nope. You could argue that they’d be against showing us the death of a beloved hero and a main character but. Again. Bob was beloved and arguably one of the sweetest characters in the show and he was ripped to bits in front of us and Joyce. Billy was a kid for all intents and purposes, still he died a horrible death. Not one bit of that was cut away.

Three - If you look in the shots hes not on the platform when the thing explodes????? like at all? Either that’s badly shot or its done deliberately because he’s just not there anymore? There’s the portal to the Upside Down and you can see a ladder in the shot too, so maybe he either went into the Upside Down or down the ladder and got caught by the russians?? We just don’t know.

Four - We see the devastated Eleven and the aftermath of what happened at Star Court. Then it jumps to three months later? Okay, odd that were not shown anymore of the grieving or the funeral. Then of course Eleven read the SPEECH. Think about the end of it specifically and about LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN 3 INCHES!! You can see from one of the final shots of Star Court that the gates not CLOSED. It was healing but it never fully closes. So Hopper could be in the Upside Down, or travelled through it to Russia on the other end?? Who knows. Point is, they included this line at the end for a reason. Whether the reason is that hes actually dead and they’re just being profound or that its a hint about his fate, its meaningful.

Five - During the ending the song HEROES by Peter Gabriel plays, this is the same song that was placed over them finding Wills fake body, and after all the goodbyes and the ‘speech’ where it ends with “keep the door open three inches” well. Come on.

Six - Then it cuts to Russia and you hear the “not the american” line, and Hopper was called “the American” throughout the series by that Russian baddie. Should I start waving Red Flags here or???? Then again, a lot of people are saying this could be Brenner. Okay I 100% get your logic Im with ya, and for a few days I’ve also thought it could be Brenner. But here’s the thing. Elevens powers. Brenner makes her use them to spy on a russian man in Season 1. Hinting that there’s more going on here than just super powers, kids and other dimensions. Don’t forget that in the 80s the world was in the grip of the Cold War, and things would have started reaching a boiling point for this long before 1985 when it ‘officially’ began. We were never given any answers about why Brenner was spying on this man, or even Russia. Or even if he WAS spying for the US. Nothing, it’s a throwaway scene. Or IS IT? Russians show up in Season Three somehow knowing about the Upside Down, having failed at their own attempts to open a gate in Russia. They somehow know that its Hawkins they need to be in to successfully open their gate and potentially get monsters to use, oh I don’t know, in a WAR???? How would they have known any of this information to begin with?? Oh I wonder. We were told all about Brenner being alive and out there in season two (and we were never told WHERE and this is not referenced again), but as far as I can remember Eleven has never shared this with anyone else, even though it’s completely RELEVANT information. And as far as I can remember (its been a hell of an emotional few days) I dont think were given any explanation about how the Russians knew about the Upside Down, Hawkins or anything. So maybe the reason they knew is BECAUSE BRENNER is the one giving them their directives? Because hes worked for THEM this whole time???

Seven -  Interestingly also Eleven lost her powers? JEEZ ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT!!! Because the first thing shed use them for is to look for Hopper even if she was told he was dead. Shed look, 100% for the man who saved her, gave her a home, loved her, worried for her, cared for her like she was his goddamn OWN. Conveniently though now SHE CANT??? Interesting.

Eight -  And now. There’s the voicemail message. In one of the episodes (my brains so fried I cant remember which one sorry) Murrays gives out his landline number, and when you call it you can hear him give a message to Joyce. You can listen to it here.  You can tell this is after season three, because why would he talk to Joyce Byers? Surely if he was trying to reach someone for information it would be Hopper?  “I have an update, its best if we speak in person" an update??? About what??? Why is he coercing with joyce???  Notice how he says “it’s not good or bad but its SOMETHING” and then says “we’ll talk about it in person” (or something like that) why would he be calling joyce with an ‘update’?????????? AND ON WHAT EXACTLY?? INTERESTING!!

Nine - Theres this interview with the cast specifically ABOUT Hopper, the death and the post credits scene. And I love David Harbour but, you cannot lie for shit my angel.

Ten - Millie has said in an interview “ Her dads gone, or so she thinks” COME ON.

Eleven - Again WE KNOW DAVID HARBOUR IS LIKE THE MARK RUFFALO OF STRANGER THINGS. And hes bad at keeping shit to himself. Hes already told us at the end of last YEAR, literally a month after they finished filming season three that the Duffers have told him the ending to the series as a whole. Why would any creator do this for a man they have effectively just fired, because his character died? Why would they tell him? They wouldn’t.

Tweleve - Again. David Harbour, bless his heart, I think its trying to give us HINTS and bread crumbs to follow. Last week he changed his instagram photo from Hopper in S1 to the number 6. Odd. Today he changed it to the number one :

Twelve continued - Basically if he changed it to an 8 next, we know hes trying to hint at Murrays voicemail message and this is a clue for Hopper. Because why else would he bother?

Thirteen - Theres also this screenshot from Cara Buonos instagram where she literally SAYS about him being in Kamchatka, and uses the Russian word for PRISON. (Of course this could just be a joke between the actors

Fourteen - Theres also the fact, which is not evidence mind you, that its incredibly shitty writing to have both the men that Joyce Byers loved/loves to die in front of her? And actually having her put the action in motion that kills the man she loves? No. I wont accept that. And weve been shown her non willingness to believe in peoples death, everyone and their mothers told her Will was dead and she was being crazy. Did she listen? No. And she got her boy back. Will she think once she has a clear head that Hoppers dead? Maybe. Which is why she asks Murray to investigate. Hence the Voicemail Message.

Fifteen - Its also incredibly shitty and hard to swallow, for Elevens sake too. I mentioned already how much she loves Hopper and finally got a true parent in him. Do you honestly think they’d put her through all of that just to lose him NOW? Like i said, its convienent how shes lost her powers at this very crucial moment.

Sixteen - DAVID. HARBOURS. BEARD. RIGHT. NOW.

And SEVENTEEN -Just in case y’all are having trouble with any of that it looks like David Harbour has let sorta slip (my god I fucking ADORE THIS MAN LET ME TELL YOU). I dont know how reliable this is mind you because its not coming from a BIG source, but HERE he hints at knowing who the American is, after telling everyone else (see the interview above ^^) that he doesnt know and he cant say anything. 

‘During an interview with David Harbour, I attempted to delicately get around the fate of Jim Hopper. Harbour, however, came right out and gave it to me straight. “This is the question I’m going to have to dance around–” I began, only for Harbour to interrupt me and ask, “The ending?” “Right,” I said. “Is there a way you can talk about the future of Hopper without…” I trailed off here, only for Harbour to ask: “Well, did you see the post-credits scene?”I had, of course. And so I straight-up asked: is that Hopper behind the door? According to Harbour, that’s the most likely scenario. Throughout the season, the main Russian baddie refers to Hopper as “the American”, and having another Russian refer to the mysterious prisoner in the same way was the big giveaway.Of course, knowing that Hopper is alive, and knowing how he survived and ended up in Russia, are two different things. We’ll have to wait for season 4 to get that answer. And we’ll have to wait to see how things unfold from there. Will a big chunk of season 4 involve Hopper escaping that Russian base, and trying to get back to America? Time will tell. One thing is clear: Hopper still has a long journey ahead of him; not just physically, but emotionally.’

SO, basically Jim Hopper has not left us, Joyce or Eleven.  And if the Duffer Brothers have done all this to screw with us, well. Im not gonna be responsible for what I do.

I FEEL JIM HOPPER IN THIS RUSSIAN PRISON TONIGHT!!!

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!!!!!