#I also have a random Kurt cobain one

[j4r-of-flies]

cat breaking bad pfps in case u want

[taesanluv3r]

i confess.

han taesan x reader

inspired by an idea from my pookie bear @myugjh03 <3 yn falls in love w the admin of her school's anonymous confessions account, cute v-day dance, eunchae of lsrfim as yn's bestie! no warnings really, maybe a cuss word or two - also the texting parts yn's texts r bold and italicized n other characters r just italicized!! enjoyy

wc: 5,349

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staracademy_fess has requested to follow you!

yn ln yawns as the notifications on her phone blurred into her vision. her eyes glanced up towards the time, sighing when she decides it might finally be time to get ready for school.

the girl hums along to the tune blasting off of her tiny pill-shaped speaker, wrapping herself in a robe and beginning to exit the bathroom. she sits at her vanity after putting on her clothes, resuming her usual morning routine. the song playing gets cut off by a familiar sound, "who dare to text me when i'm so busy?!" she quotes the famous meme, cracking herself up as she reaches to pick up her phone. "huh?" she says out loud, questioning the message request that had just popped up on her screen.

staracademy_fess replied to your story: 'realest opinion ever.'

her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'that's so random...' she thought. yn knew of the account; an instagram page made by a student at her school where people could send in anonymous tips. it was a recent thing, the account just randomly popped up about three weeks ago, when the school had just reopened after the holidays. it was an interesting blog, and she wasn't going to lie she quite enjoyed scrolling through it's posts every now and then. 'this is so gossip girl' she'd say as she giggles at an anonymous tip dissing her ex-situationship.

but what was so random?

well, for one, she had no clue who ran the account. and for them to be replying to her story like that? seems a bit friendly for a stranger don't you think? still confused, yn decides to take a screenshot of the floating notification. she enters her password and runs straight to the messaging app to text her best-friend.

does this confess account reply to everyone's story or am i special?

the girl hits send before reverting back to the mirror in front of her, checking her reflection as she continues doing her make up.

well ik he follows everyone...but i never heard of him replying off of people's story????? maybe he likes you pookie lol

her friend's response puts her into a deep thinking session. 'he?...you mean this is a guy?' she wonders what she should do next. should she respond to him right away? is he really a him? who is he? was her friend right? does this person like her?

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"i don't know though...i mean he's really sweet and funny and he matches my energy..i just lowkey wished i knew who he was"

yn ln and the anonymous admin of their school's confess account have been talking for about a week now. it all started when she had finally decided to reply to his random text...

realest opinion ever.

she recalls the message, a response to her instagram story. it was a picture of her laptop - on it, a screencap of kurt cobain in his iconic green cardigan playing the guitar. the caption was, 'if the doctor told me i had an hour and thirty three minutes left to live, trust i will be watching this video on my death bed!'

what do you know about nirvana mtv unplugged 1993 🙄

her cocky and satirical reply was the first thing that ignited their witty relationship. what he said to her following that was something along the lines of, "more than you, i bet".

as they began to have long, daily conversations with each other, yn ln was beginning to find out more and more about him. by the one week mark she had figured out his age, his major, his hobbies, favourite foods, colours, songs, even his childhood dreams. she knew almost everything about him! well, if you take away the fact that she didn't really know anything about him at all...not his name, not his face, nor who he really is.

that didn't stop her though. she liked him. that much she knew. she liked how he typed, she liked his opinions, she liked that he matched energies with her, most of all she liked that he seemed to like her too. and a girl like yn would never let anything come in between her and someone she liked - no, not even an anonymous identity. i mean, it was only about time until he revealed himself, right? she can wait.

"so you're practically e-dating this guy...and you don't even know who he is? aren't you curious at all? what if he's a creep? or worse! what if he's...ugly"

eunchae, the girl's best-friend, squeaks, already thinking of every worst case scenario available. yn rolls her eyes, "first of all, we aren't e-dating! second of all, maybe i can see through his looks? i'm not that shallow!" she accidentally yells out the last part of her sentence, earning weird looks from the other students in the hallway. eunchae giggles, patting her friend on the back as they begin to walk to their classroom.

on the way there, yn continues to ramble on and on about her anonymous lover, starting to make guesses of his identity, "what if he's hot, that would be so incredibly perfect...like imagine if he was one of the boys from myung jaehyun's friend group...they're all hot". her focus was so out of it that she fails to see the boy crouching down near the lockers. her eyes grow wide as she stumbles over him, tripping and falling right on her ass.

"ow...fuck that hurt" she whines, still seated on the floor. laughs escape the mouth of her best-friend, who was busy recording yn's epic fail instead of helping her up. she rolls her eyes before they scan to find the poor boy she tripped on. this poor boy, however, was definitely not who she thought he was.

yn gasps when she comes face to face with none other than han taesan, one of the popular seniors from that friend group she was just yapping about. yeah, myung jaehyun's one, that's right...the one with all the insanely and unnecessarily hot people.

"are you gonna get up or...?" his voice shakes her out of her thoughts, "huh? oh! right...ahem...sorry" she clears her throat, avoiding eye contact as she begins to pick her things up and off of the ground. she doesn't know for sure but the girl swears she could feel him smile at her from behind, her assumptions proven true when she catches him giggle. "what?" yn asks, voice going all snarky all of a sudden. it catches taesan by surprise, "nothing...i just think you're cute, that's all" her eyes get big again, "m...me? cute?" she was sure her face was bright red by now. he laughs again, a lot more cocky this time, a smug look on his face like he knew something she didn't.

"see you around, yn" the boy says, beginning to walk away. 'he knows my name?' she thought, watching as he stops in his tracks and turns to face her again.

"oh! and maybe watch where you're going next time"

he was gone after that, chasing the school bell into his classroom. "what was that about? see you around, yn" eunchae wonders, mocking the guy's tone of voice as she repeated his words. "beats me...weirdo" yn says, resuming her own trek towards her math class. "you can't call him a weirdo if you're the one who tripped on him" her friend's words make her scoff, "well he didn't have to be so cocky about it!"

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and then what happened?

yn ln flops onto her bed, biting her lip softly as her fingers move to type. she was texting him, you see, she was texting her mystery man. it became a routine for her to do so, coming home after school and telling him all about her day. well, if there was anything significant about her day that is. otherwise, they'd be sending each other silly reels and song recommendations - which, as much as she loved it, did get a bit boring and substance-less after a while.

luckily - or, unluckily? - for her today, she had a fun story to share with him.

and then i totally freaked, and he was being so insanely annoying and cocky about it...like dude you're hot, we know that! doesn't mean you get to be all asshole-y

she sighs in frustration as she remembers the events of a few hours ago, waiting patiently for a text back. it usually didn't take long for one, the anonymous guy was a pretty fast texter. however, for whatever reason this time, it seemed to be taking him years to type. yn is confused, 'what could he be typing?' until alas, the bubble on his end stops moving, a message replacing it.

maybe you should've watched where you were going. i mean you DID trip on him cause you weren't focused

the girl's heart stops for a moment. there was something wrong with his text, yet she couldn't for the life of her tell what it was. it just felt...odd - like the person she had just been chatting with disappeared into thin air. there was a hint of passive-aggressiveness in his tone; maybe she was overthinking it...i mean it wouldn't be the first time he was cold and sarcastic with her. that's just how he is.

you know what's funny? that's exactly what he said lmao...no way...don't tell me the man behind this account is THE han taesan LMAOO

yn didn't think much of it when she typed up that response, she knew there was no way in hell such a popular and handsome guy like taesan would run such a dumb and silly confession account...right?

shit...have to help my dad set up a new TV, ttyl

their conversation ended there. again, she paid no mind to it's sudden end. she knew he'd reach out to her again a little later, possibly to moan and groan about how much of a hard time he had setting up the television.

yn only began to worry when that didn't happen. it had actually been hours since their last conversation and he hadn't squeaked a single word to her - not even a single stupid reel, not even a song recommendation.

where'd he go?

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"why do you look like that?" eunchae asks, sitting beside her best-friend at the school cafeteria. "like what?" the girl replies with another question. "i don't know...maybe like you just witnessed someone kill off your entire bloodline?" yn rolls her eyes, not uttering another word. "you've been looking gloomy all week...ever since..." eunchae gasps, "is this because of when you tripped over han taesan? cause if it is...girl, i can delete the video if you want me to" this time the girl looks at her friend in disbelief. "oh god, it is because of that, isn't it? girl, you should've just said so and i would-" she doesn't let her friend finish. "you took a video?! and no it isn't because of that...but you took a video?!"

eunchae chuckles as she nods, "i promise i'll delete it...but if it's not cause of that...then what?" yn sighs, "if i tell you, promise not to laugh?" she asks, some kind of a hopeful gaze in her eyes. her friend nods enthusiastically, "when have i ever laughed at your misfortune" - "eunchae. i'm serious" her face is stern, not even a hint of playfulness, and her friend obliged.

"it's the confessions guy..." yn starts, her voice quieting down as she trails off. "you mean your mystery lover boy?" the girl nods, "we haven't texted in four days now..." eunchae's eyes widen in shock, "what? why?!" she seemed just as furious as the girl was. "that's the thing, i don't know! last time we talked i was telling him all about tripping over taesan...he was being unusually cold and dry...then he left to help his dad set up a new TV and then he never texted me since..." her voice was glum, like she was genuinely lost and upset about this whole thing. her friend's gaze softened, "have you tried reaching out to him first?" yn shook her head, "i don't know why...i just can't bring myself to"

eunchae pats the girl on her back, "hey...what if you just give him a few more hours, and if he doesn't text you then just text first, how about that?" yn sighs, "do i have any other choice?" the other girl smiles as she shakes her head, "nope!"

later that day yn ln goes home from school, still feeling like shit. she frowns as she turns her speaker on, a loud ding sound letting her know the bluetooth was connected to her phone. a tune begins to fill the gaps in her room, reality by richard sanderson, one of his favourites.

the girl groans as she throws herself onto the bed, not caring enough to change out of her uniform. she rolls over to lay on her back, staring up at the posters on her ceiling - namely, the giant one in the middle, a poster of the guy who had brought her and the anonymous boy together in the first place. before she even realized, yn had begun to talk to it.

"oh, kurt...whatever should i do?! this is all your fault. if i hadn't put your stupid performance on my story that day then he wouldn't have replied, we wouldn't have talked, i wouldn't have fallen in love with him...i don't even know his fucking name! kurt...how cooked am i? i spend every waking hour thinking about him, guessing his identity, wondering what i did wrong to have him ignore me like this! it's unfair...why does every relationship i get into end this way?"

the last bit of her unscripted monologue brings tears to her eyes. it was true. yn ln had quite the history of horrible relationships. hell, some wouldn't even consider them relationships. the first guy she dated only did it because he was dared to, the next guy decided he was actually into his own sex half-way through their one week long relationship, the last guy she was with - well, she was never really dating him, he was a dick and she was naive enough to like him for his looks and status. all in all, she's never been successful in the love department - she found that no one really got her...until he did.

"why is it that the one guy who actually understood me has to be some fucking anonymous admin...i mean, seriously? and even then...it seems i blew it already, didn't i?" yn whines, starting to get annoyed at the fact that her posters stayed quiet - duh, they're posters! she rolls over again, just far enough to reach her phone. the girl wasn't planning on doing anything on it, but like clockwork her fingers naturally lead her to his chatroom. she stared at it, as if staring would do anything to fix the situation she was in. that is, until it did.

the animation on his side of the chat, indicating that he had begun to type, sent her heart flying. her eyes went wide, mouth dropping opened as if she were going to scream - she didn't though, her parents were home. yn bites her lips, her face so close to the screen she swore she could feel how her eye-sight worsened by the second. and then the animation stopped, a second later it was replaced with a body of text.

are you going to the v-day masquerade dance tomorrow?

that's it? yn didn't know what to think; so she didn't, she let her thumbs do all the thinking for her.

YOU DONT SPEAK TO ME FOR FOUR WHOLE DAYS AND YOU DONT EVEN START WITH A HI? A SORRY????

look, i'm sorry about that i just...i was doing a lot of thinking and stuff

she rolls her eyes, 'what a lame excuse' she thought. still, she couldn't stop herself from smiling softly, she really missed him.

about what??? what could you have possibly been thinking SO much about that you don't talk to me!??!?!

well that's the thing...i was thinking a lot about us.

'huh?' if yn ln wasn't confused all week, she was definitely confused now.

wdym us?

it takes him exactly four minutes and twenty seconds to reply. she knows this because the moment she sent her text, how was your day? by beabadoobee started playing, and it ended the minute his message came in.

will you meet me at the masquerade dance, or no?

for some reason, his words annoy her a bit.

i don't know anything about ur appearance and u expect me to meet u in a dark gym hall where every guy is wearing a suit and a MASK??

well that's the point, love. i trust you'll know it's me in the moment...unless you're not curious about me at all then that's fine i guess we'll just never meet

what a bitch. she's intrigued though.

fine, i'll see you tomorrow then

see you there 💖

yn ln genuinely smiles for the first time in four days, laying down on her back to stare up at her posters again. "well kurt, it seems this love story isn't entirely over yet...you think he'll finally reveal himself to me tomorrow night?" she asks out loud, as if the pieces of paper she talked to could respond. "shit!" she exclaimed all of a sudden, sitting up straight.

"what do i wear?!"

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"does this look dumb or...?"

yn ln asks for the nth time, twirling around in her thousandth outfit idea for her best-friend to judge through their face-time call. "ew no, i liked the last one better, this one doesnt match your mask- wait try the last dress with that one fluffy bolero you have" eunchae's voice came out a second late due to the connection issues, but yn could understand her just fine. "okay wait let me try that" she says, disappearing from the camera's view and into her closet.

"how's this? cute right?" the girl smiles, spinning around to give her bestie a full 360 view. her dress was a light baby pink and it was short, stopping right above her knees. she wore a pair of tights underneath to prevent getting dress-coded, and a pretty white faux-fur bolero over her shoulders to shield her from the cold. her whole outfit matched perfectly with her silver mask, fine specs of pink and white glitter decorating it's surface. "yes! love it!" eunchae cheered, "what shoes are you wearing?" - "i want to wear the pink platforms...but what if he's short and then our super sweet kiss scene gets awkward?" she caught her friend rolling her eyes through the screen, "wear the white mary janes then, it matches your bolero anyways"

"okay...make up time!"

the girl spends the next few hours touching up her looks for the big night. she stares in the mirror over and over, making sure there wasn't anything abnormally wrong with her. yn slumps down onto her bed, careful not to wrinkle her dress. she sighs, an odd sensation bubbling up in her stomach.

"what am i so worried of?" she asked, eyes lingering at her reflection. the pinging of her phone removes her from her trance, a smile replacing the fearful look on her face as she read the message, his message.

you're not having second thoughts, are you? let me know when you're there

it's all or nothing now.

after making sure she didn't forget anything, yn jumps into the passenger seat of her dad's car. "you good, kid?" he asks, noticing the uneasy look on his daughter's face. "huh? yeah, i'm good, dad...let's go" the man nods, "whatever it is, i'm sure this'll fix it!" he said, a pointer finger reaching out towards the radio, pressing play. the girl laughs as a nostalgic tune enters her ears, black or white by michael jackson. "remember when you'd beg me to play this on the way to kindergarten?" she nods along to her dad's words, beginning to sing along to the song with him.

they make it to the school's campus in no time, stopping the car right at the drop off zone. "thanks for driving, dad. sorry i didn't tell you sooner...didn't think i was coming until i got asked" the man shakes his head, "anything for you, kiddo - can i ask why you won't tell me who the lucky boy is?" yn smirked, "i would love to, dad...i just...don't know who he is either!" that response made mr. ln's eyebrows knit together in confusion, but before he could ask anymore questions, the girl had waved him goodbye and disappeared into the building.

"oh, yn...whatever you're up to...please don't hurt yourself"

yn puts on her mask before entering the gymnasium; the usually sweaty and sports-full area had been completely turned into that of a ballroom. valentine's day themed decorations hung on every corner, hearts and bows completing the scenery. the girl smiles, wondering why it took her this long to ever attend these annual school events. 'who knew this dump was capable of looking so pretty?' that was the last clear thought she had before her conscience returned to reality. all of a sudden the heart-shaped lanterns weren't all that lovely, the romantic music playing earlier had turned into loud and hardcore techno, and worst of all the people inside the gym with her seemed to have multiplied by tenfold.

at this point it was getting too much to bear. she could barely see out of the tiny eye-holes of her mask to begin with, how was she supposed to find her mystery man in this crowd? a second away from panicking, yn escapes the rowdy gym and finds solace in the quiet hallways. she pulls her mask off for a moment to breathe, a hand clutching onto her chest - maybe this is why she never cared to go to these dances.

the girl reaches into her hand-bag, pulling out her phone. her thumbs danced against the screen and she opened up instagram to text her anonymous date.

where r u???? it's too loud i hate it i wanna go home

he replies right away.

agreed, i'll wait for you in your classroom...it's quiet and empty here

yn doesn't text back, simply nodding to herself. she gulps and takes in a deep breath as she pulls the mask over her head again. she straightens her back, walking towards her classroom and stopping right at the foot of the door. she could see his figure through the textured glass windows; he faced away from her, all she could make out was his black suit and the back of his head, where the ribbons of his mask dug into his hair. this was it. she was finally inches away from meeting the boy she had been so in love with the past few weeks, inches away from knowing his real identity. yn couldn't wait another moment - yet, at the very same time, something was stopping her from entering the room. a sense of severe nervousness rushing through her veins.

he must've felt her lingering presence and she watched as the figure inside the room turned in her direction. both masked, identities hidden, yet it felt like they could see right through each other. as if telepathically, yn felt him call for her; though he didn't utter a word. with that, the palm of her hands finally came in contact with the door, pushing it forward ever so slightly and allowing herself in.

"hey"

yn gasps as he speaks to her for the first time, his voice doesn't sound foreign at all, but she can't remember where she'd heard it from before. "hey..." her tone is more hushed than usual, breathy as she walked closer to him. they stood beside each other now, staring out the classroom's window, and up at rising moon. the girl can't help but stare at him, scanning everything that was visible to her. he's here now, flesh and skin in front of her. his dark hair, his pale skin, his tall build, his pink lips, and his milky brown eyes hidden behind his deep maroon coloured mask that covered the top half of his face. but still, she hadn't a clue who he was.

the mystery man chuckles, breaking their silence. "you can stop staring at me, yn...i'm not going anywhere" she opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out, she couldn't speak no matter how hard she tried. the pair went back to looking out the window in silence, there was no sense of awkwardness in the air though. in fact, it was nothing but comfortable.

"i like you"

it takes yn a solid ten seconds to process the words that came out of his mouth. even after they sunk into her mind she stood frozen, shocked. "w...what?" the boy's smile is visible, "i like you, yn...do you like me too?" there's a hint of playfulness in his voice, it was as though this whole ordeal wasn't too big a deal to him - unlike the way it was to her.

"i don't even know you...how am i supposed to tell whether what i feel for you is real or not?!" her tone was a lot stronger than she had planned, she gasped and slapped a hand to her mouth. she didn't mean to yell, the pressure of the situation stressed her out in ways she swore no one could imagine. the masked boy didn't fight back though, she could see his eyes softening beneath plastic that covered his face as he stared into her own. they held eye-contact for what felt like ages, no other sound apart from the loud beating in their chests. "yn..." he calls out for her, though his previously playful tone was long gone now. "yeah?" she questioned, barely above a listenable decibel.

"can i kiss you?"

her eyes get big and the girl contemplates for a second. she decides that the only correct answer was yes. besides, this was the moment she'd been yearning for all week, wasn't it?

her slight nod was all the confirmation the boy needed before he took a step closer towards her. he leans down until they were just a single breath away from one another. his hands were cold as they pressed lightly against her blushing cheeks, pulling her in. suddenly, the pair was devoid of space, their masks making a clinking sound as their lips crashed against each other's. the kiss was intense, more than anything else; a hint of desperation in the way his hands snaked down to her waist, her own ones placed against his neck.

the growing moonlight illuminated the scene, neither of them planning to let go any time soon. as the kiss began to get more passionate, yn's fingers found their way into his hair, playing with it's ends then moving up to where the ribbons of his mask sat in a knot. she doesn't give it another thought, pulling on the strings until they came undone. the boy gasps, eyes widening as they finally pull apart, the plastic material falling to the ground between them.

a breath escapes the girl's lips, her eyes beginning to water at the sight in front of her. a mixture of shock and confusion painting her complexion as she furrows her eyebrows. she can't even bring herself to blink, this was too unreal. the mystery identity of the boy she had fallen so deeply in love with...

"t...taesan?"

he sighs.

"y...yeah"

yn takes in another deep breath before ultimately breaking into a fit of laughter. "why...why are you laughing?" taesan is the confused one now, watching through knitted brows as the girl before him pulls herself together. "nothing...i just didn't think it was really you..." she said, beginning to remove her own mask. the boy's eyes glimmer a little, "what?" she asks, tossing the silver plastic onto a desk. "you're so pretty" he says, reaching his hand out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. she smiles, leaning her face into his palm.

"thank you...and i'm sorry" taesan tilts his head to the side, "for what?" she laughs again, "for bitching about tripping over han taesan and calling him an asshole...i had no clue i was talking directly to him...sorry" the boy chuckles, "yeah, that was kind of mean you know?" he pouted dramatically, something about his face made her heart skip a beat. "is that why you totally ignored me for four days after?" he was taken aback by her sudden inquiry, "maybe...sorry about that, love" her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink from the nickname. "but you know..." taesan speaks again, stepping closer and slipping his hands into hers.

"you should really watch where you're going next time!"

the familiarity of his statement sends the girl through a trip of deja vu, "you know that's technically your fault...i was thinking about who you were after all, and then i couldn't focus and then i tripped!" he smiles, "does that mean you like me too?" she rolls her eyes, "i never said that" - "but you never said you didn't"

yn ln sighs in defeat, watching the smug grin that was making it's way onto han taesan's lips. "how about you kiss me again? maybe after that i'll know whether i like you or not" the boy laughs, "you just want to kiss me, i think that's proof enough" she shakes her head in disbelief, "shut up, please?" - "make me"

and with that the space between them vanished once more, their noses bumping and their breaths short as they kissed. it didn't last as long as their last one, separating for air after the first two minutes. "okay...i confess..." yn says as she catches her breath. "mhm?" taesan hums, staring into her eyes.

"i like you too"

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"oh, that's my ride!"

yn waves, signaling for her dad to come towards her. the window of the passenger seat rolls down, and the pair are met with a sleepy looking mr. ln.

"hey dad, this is my boyfriend, taesan!" the girl chirped joyfully, shooting her dad a smile. "uh...hello, mr. ln...it's nice to meet you!" the boy has a hopeful look on his face, biting down on his lip worriedly as the older man began to eye him down. "nice to meet you, kid! you better be treating my princess right...if you break her heart" - "dad! stop scaring him! we just got together, don't shoo him away"

both the guys laugh at yn's outrage. "bye, taesan. thanks for tonight, is it too early to say i love you?" the boy smiles, "thank you. and no it isn't, i love you too...and" he pulls her into a hug, leaning closer to whisper into her ear, "it's too scary to kiss you in front of your dad so i'll do that another time"

taesan watches as yn gets into her car, "i'll pick you up tomorrow, yeah? we could get froyo and go to the record store and-" he gets cut off as the girl's dad butts in. "record store? you into music, taesan?" he nods excitedly, "yes sir! love it more than anything in the world...well, maybe not as much as i love your daughter" the older man scoffs, "that's what i like to hear...how you getting home, kid?" he asks, "i'm driving. my car's parked over there" he pointed towards the parking lot and the two guys share a few more nods.

"well then, get home safe, kid"

"i will, thank you. you guys get home safe too! um, text me when you're home, okay?" yn smiles up at her boyfriend, "mhm! see you tomorrow, bye!"

she rolls her window back up as her dad begins to drive away. "i like him" her dad says all of a sudden. "yeah?" she asks, wanting confirmation from her father who just nods.

"i like him too"

the end.

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ahhhhh this fic is kinda longggg i was working on it for six hours straight TT tysm to eli my pookiebear for this awesome ideaaaa i hope i did it justice <3!! also yn ranting to her cobain poster and then taesan getting along w her dad a bit at the end is so cutesy so true!!!! anyways, thx for reading - i hope u liked this one! reblogs n feedbacks r always appreciated :3 love, kona.

[gladiatorcunt]

- DIRT IN CHAINS | X.

i can’t wait for the nights with you, i imagine the things we’ll do

cw: kinktober prompt (feet), semi crack treated seriously (he just comes back and says footjob. now.), pseudo incest (step brother & step sister), no shelly or chris 💀, set in the 90’s with brandon lee’s eric, small-ish age gap (reader’s in her early 20’s), fem ballerina!reader, random kurt cobain crush mention, implied inappropriate behavior when reader was 18 and after (nothing explicit but it could be seen as done with certain intent), attempted non con mention (not involving eric or reader)

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

Body of my body, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.

If you serve a chunk of still bleeding meat to a gruesome stray dog, then that is love. If you toss a coin to a crow with a glint in its beady eyes, that too is love. Even when you scoff and grumble at the perceived inconvenience and continue your jaunt down the muddy alleyway. You are assuring an animal that you believe it deserves to have its hunger sated and tended to like a toothache. don’t be surprised when gangrene sets in around your ankles and wrists, bracelets made of red jade. They bite for the same reason that you sharpen their teeth and beaks with roadkill and gemstones. It is life’s greatest gift to ever be well fed, such neglect can open a void from which there is no escape. If only your heart could plug up the hole.

The most painful sentences in existence are hypotheticals that start with if. That's why this will be nothing of the sort, hunting season will be successful.

Your step brother Eric was shot about a month ago the night before halloween, and you’re coping by robotically moving through life as if it couldn’t happen to you too. It’s all too easy to succumb to the panic and the grief but you’ve never been wired that way, it’s safer for you to retreat into a cocoon of numbness.

You don’t want to think about where the woman he saved from being raped is, as happy as you are that she’s okay. Knowing any of that would only remind you of the knife Eric got thrown into his back before he was thrown from her apartment window. He lived in the same building and like the good guy your step brother was at heart, burst in the room with the best intentions.

His good deed got him killed, and all you’ve done is play his music on repeat as you rot in your bed. He’d want you to continue your ballet career, hell, he showed up to your recitals and performances more than your own mother. You always ignored how his presence made you feel simultaneously relaxed and confident but also so stressed you’d be worried about pissing yourself on the stage.

Wide smiles and long dark hair that glistened in the theater’s warm lightning, he would always be the one to stand up and whistle first.

Eric’s favorite ballet was your ballet company’s Swan Lake. He kept a picture of you as Odette in one of the pockets of his leather jacket.

Your parents had only been married 4 years, but you’ve changed a lot from the starry eyed 18 year old that mooned over your older step brother and tripped over your pointe shoes.

Your dad started teaching you how to play guitar before he left, when you were 5 and your chubby hands plucked at the wrong strings. Eric wouldn’t leave you alone when you told him the story, and spent an entire weekend getting you caught up on your missed lessons until you both had a swarm of blisters on your fingers.

Now you’ll never see him again, never get caught in the rain when you’ve begged him to drive you home and wish you could tuck a strand of his wet hair behind ear, never hump your pillow and muffle your sounds into your balled up fists because he’s staying in the next room and you have to be quiet.

You’ll never see him with his band again, caught in that weird space between a groupie and a supportive family member. He liked to embarrass you, make big shows out of looking directly at you and coming to the edge of the stage to poke your cheek. He’d ruffle your hair and your cheeks would be so hot, one wrong burst of electricity from the wires attached to their instruments and you’d go up in flames.

You never told your mom but you always wanted a brother, you should’ve known you weren’t gonna have him for very long.

Hangman’s Joke. God, you wish.

“Hey, peach, ya miss me?”

Hand on your heart you think you’re dreaming at first, but you’ve never really had any dreams where Eric was front and center. He haunts all your other ones, regular strange ones where you’re running around department stores and fucking Kurt Cobain but someintes he turns into your step brother, sometimes you fuck them both.

You shoot up in bed, the straps of your lavender silk nightie slip down your shoulders so you pull them back. It’s the middle of the night, and your vision is blurry, but when your eyes focus properly you see him standing in front of your bed.

It’s Eric, your brother, you don’t even care if there was a gas leak overnight that’s got you fucked up or if this reslly is a dream. You can’t pretend to be fine anymore if he’s right here in front of you, suddenly there’s an umbrella over your head in the pouring rain again.

“Eric, oh my god, what the fuck! How are you even- I mean- How the fuck are you alive?”

He sighs, tonguing his cheek and shaking his head. “I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise, ‘m tired, peach. Missed my girl, didn’t she miss me?”

It’s a little cruel because of course you have, but the dulcet tones lull you into nodding. You don’t want to cry, and you’re scared to reach out to touch him because of the chance that he might disappear. Eric’s haunted eyes soften, and he intertwines his bizarrely muddy fingers with yours. There’s warmth, and maybe it’s just your hummingbird heart but you feel a soft rhythmic thumping under his skin.

It’s different, slow as molasses, more like the chiming of a grandfather clock. But Jesus fucking Christ he’s real.

Your sham of a facade shatters as you bring your joined hands down to your breasts, forcing his knuckles to press into your sternum.

Eric pushes you back down on the bed, his knees dig into the mattress on either side of your hips. His stare is intense, dark and enticing as he reaches down to curl his hand around your calves.

“I used to be obsessed with uh, vampires, ain’t that a bitch?” He chuckles, massaging your ankles and staring off into space. “All that mysticism and unimaginable power and all I could focus on was the way they talked about their cravings. How they get hunger pangs like a normal fuckin’ and it’s bearable until it’s not, it consumes them like they’re boilin’ from the inside out.”

You suck in a breath, Eric’s eyes flick over to you immediately.

“Then I look at you and i’m right back in rehab, toes curlin’ at the thought of getting high again. I think I know how those bloodsuckers feel.”

“Eric- Don’t say that.” Your heart seizes up, but you keep yourself from falling off the ledge.

He kisses your ankle, his black lipstick leaving a stain as he leaves a trail of carnage up to your toes. His lips split wide on a fox’s smile, slipping his tongue in the crease between your toes and sucking each one clean, almost like he’s trying to eat your flesh off the bone. He nuzzles his nose into the sole and inhales deeply, taking in the dirt you didn’t wash off in the shower, the plastic hospital smell from your bath mat, your cherry almond scented body wash.

“Yes, all i fuckin’ need, right here.” He whispers, staring at you dead in your eyes.

He flicks his tongue out to taste the high arch of your foot as his hand caresses your still bruised toes. But they’re faded, you quit ballet a long time ago.

“You have pretty feet, y’know that? Always liked helping you lace up your slippers.” Eric laughs “You’d get so fussy about me doin’ them properly but you’d kiss my cheek after, all sweet on me.”

He lavishes every inch of both your feet with his tongue in broad strokes, making out with your toes because he can’t resist sucking them into his mouth one more time.

You moan, fisting your hands in your nightie, your step brother’s back from the afterlife apparently and the first thing he wants to do is get a footjob from his step sister.

Eric tucks his hair behind his ears so he doesn’t have to bother with it for right now, you can tell that this is like one of those moments on stage, he wants your full attention.

He’ll always have it.

You’re the one that pulls your feet out of his grip to slide them down to his crotch. You keep eye contact as you massage his clothed bulge with your toes, rubbing your heel into his balls and applying light pressure here and there.

You blink up at him, too innocent and too worn down by life already all at the same time, “Like that, big brother? Does that feel good?”

Eric grunts, wrapping his hands back around your ankles and pushing your feet further onto his cock.

“Yeah, peach, feels so fuckin’ good, holy shit. Just like that, keep doin’ me like that, baby.”

You bite your lip, nearly tearing through the skin in your efforts to make your newly risen step brother jizz in his ripped jeans. You wish you had psychic powers and had the foresight to know he was coming over, you would’ve put on those socks with the frilly edges and a red rose stitched on the white fabric.

But he’s so worked up from this already, he’s breathing heavily and rocking his hips forward to hump your feet. He’s grinding his teeth together, already so close to unraveling from how much of a little tease you’re being.

You hum and turn your right foot to ghost the edge of your toenail around the tip of his cock. He groans as he twitches and a bead of pre seeps through his clothes, you can trace the outline of his length so clearly you know he’s not wearing any underwear.

The look in his crazed eyes reminds you of all the times he’d take you to the attic of his loft, making up scary stories and playing guitar with you. When you turned 21 he surprised you with a cheesy golden heart shaped locket, with a picture of you two at your parent’s wedding, joking about how awkward you look with each other there. Eric’s penguin style suit and your agitated face that’s partially covered by gaudy turquoise puffy cap sleeves.

He chuckled and said that every time you look at it, you’ll feel nothing but happiness for what those two losers are about to experience.

Part of that experience is you curling your feet around his clothed cock while giving him just enough of a view of your hairy pussy, you forgot to put a pad on so there’s some blood trickling out of you that Eric is just so utterly enraptured by.

His groans are death rattles now, long and pain stricken, at some point he stops humping your feet and lets you worship him like this. Eric kneeling above you, drooling deep in the back of his throat at the sight of his baby sister caressing his painfully hard dick with her cute dancer’s feet.

Your mind is filled with all the pretty shoes you can put on and do this again, you just got a new camera as an early birthday present too.

“You can come if you promise not to leave again, Eric, I'll hunt you down and kill you myself this time.” You promise, digging the ball of your feet into his perineum.

“I crawled out of the earth back to you, didn’t I? Couldn’t let my sweet peach perform alone, she gets stage fright.”

He comes in his pants and you continue to gingerly move your feet along his length, soaking up the cum that wets your toes like a sunflower does sunlight at golden hour.

[cemeteryvalentine]

astro observations part 4 !!! ^____^

(specifically based off my family :3 pleaseee don't get offended at anything that doesn't resonate)

🗝️: one thing about a sag placement, they are gonna hang up FIRST !!! i swear, if anyone misses flip phones, it's a sag placement/dominant. i just know they miss snapping that phone shut in a petty manner LOL. my mom is a sag moon AND rising, and she'd call me and demand me to do something in such a bitchy tone and then hang up on me like girl who tf do u think u areee 😭😭😭😭 LMFAO. but honestly good for her, i love being petty like her.

like i swear i take after my mom because everytime she does that annoying hang up before i can respond thing, i call her again just to say a snarky remark, and hang up on her back!

🐇: i swear, virgo placements have no problem being the grossest people alive, but suddenly it's a problem when someone else does it :/// it's really annoying. my brother has a pigsty of a bedroom, doesn't wash his hand when he pisses unless i make him, and leaves his trash everywhere, but constantly gets on my sister for the same things 😭. like the calls coming from inside the house !!! i think basically, (some) virgos are like picky(?) with what areas they'd want clean. like they're only really comfortable with THEIR mess and no one else's.

🗝️: i love how pisces mercury communicate because it's like what the hel are u awn about 😭 in the NICEST way though :3 they're so kewl and interesting to talk to, plus they're so nice and understanding. maybe because they're water mercuries after all. speaking of, my favorite artist ever kurt cobain was a pisces mercury and it SHOWSSS. a lot of nirvana lyrics feel artistic and metaphoric, or just realllyyyy silly. liiike "angel left wing, right wing, broken wing. lack of iron and or sleeping" from milk it, one of my nirvana faves. and "i vomit C*M and DIARRHEA". like girl whatever that means !!!! (song, mexican seafood)

🐇: mars influence on the asc makes for prominent features. especially eyebrows. my brother has an aries rising and he has such a bad case of RBF. i swear he never looks happy 😭 his virgo sun and cap moon definitely don't help at all either. then im a mars rising and i have big eyebrows like my brother. like we're the only ones with big eyebrows, while our parents brows look invisible LOL. also i'm a virgo rising !! and ppl are always saying i look mad which honestly pisses me off :P so in conclusion, mars influence + virgo placements = major rbf

🗝️: i HATE to add on to the cancer hate train since i'm one myself and i loveee being one + we get soo much hate, but i feel a (unevolvled) cancer makes for the worst pick me girl ever !!!! this def doesn't apply to all cancers, but the few cancer women i know can be so mean to other women so unprovoked. especially my mom, it gives me the ick when she calls random women b*tches or makes fun of them to me for their features or success or soemthing. i used to be a pick me too up until i was like 13 (im soooo happy i grew out of that mess QUICK!). i would constantly strive for male attention, it was embarrassing 😭. ik another girl who values her shitty boyfriend over her (girl) friends and i haaate it. like ive only known a few cancer women, but a lot of them are like the meanest pick me bitch ever, or such a sweeet, caring soul :). i feel like being a pick me stems from cancers being feminine AND traditional. yk? i pray i make sense, but yk how it's traditional for girls to be perfect for her man, and value him no matter the circumstance ?? and cancer/moon being **traditional** ? yeahhh 😭

anywayzzz that's all :3 tyyy for reading !! i had sm making a new observations, considering it's been a year since my last LMFAOO. and again, if it doesn't apply, let it fly. ty bye ^__^

[spaceagebachelormann]

zigmar i come to you humbly on this fine evening with the simple request that you give me some sort of might duck sustenance por favor and muchas gracias

they can be incoherent and stupid and goofy and silly to the max i just need to rotate this little kids like rotisserie chickens in my mind (esp fulton portman and julie)

random miscellaneous tmd thoughts !

✧ warnings: some of them may be ooc ngl

✧ additional info: u got it pookums 😈😈😈🙏 also these can be read as either platonic or romantic (not luis)

✧ m.list — nav.

♡ charlie conway !

the most insane taste in music literally ever

bro goes from madonna to death metal SO FAST

but ngl his playlist is always the best and he always gets to play music whenever u go anywhere

but oh my god he’d love pierce the veil in present day

HES ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW AMAZING AT MATH. but he cannot do science for literal shit

also his clothing style changes js like his music taste

will literally be kurt cobain one day and morrissey the next (hed hate morrissey though)

♡ adam banks !

every team sleepover/event/literally anything could js be a spontaneous hangout is always at his house

it’s because he’s rich and his house is huge as fuck and he has every board game known to man

just do not play uno because a fight always breaks out (charlie is always part of it)

he’s always the one who ends the fight also

he has this very calming presence that’s so nice to be around and him js talking to whoever got into a fight immediately helps calm them down

also weirdly good at comforting in the middle of the night but never during the day??

♡ lester averman !

he would watch full house religiously prove me wrong

his favourite character is obviously joey because they are one in the same

everyone on the team and their mother has been forced to watch full house while he’s been at their house/vice versa

he can also cook like. decently well !! it’s not something he’d prefer to do but he will for his friends if they’re tired or smth

♡ fulton reed !

this little shit

he is so unbelievably competitive over the smallest things it’s actually insane

typa guy to race u to see who can get to one side of the room first and start genuinely tweaking if he doesn’t win

at sleepovers he refuses to fall asleep first even if it’s just by a few minutes

he could be dead to the world but still have his eyes open cause he refuses to let u win (unless ur his s/o cause he might consider it that way)

♡ connie moreau !

she is definitely a theatre kid idc

her favourite musicals are probably grease, hairspray and heathers

she likes female main characters!!

everytime she gets into a new fandom she immediately starts thinking abt what it’d be like a musical and probably wanted to be a composer at some point

would 100% beg to use the aux on a road trip and then blast hamilton loud as balls

she wholeheartedly believes six is a top tier musical and she will DIE on this hill

(fun fact i’ve met andrea macasaet <3)

♡ guy germaine !

modern day guy would’ve loved basic white girl music

“life is too short to pretend to hate taylor swift” —him

also 100% a britney spears girlie. and nsync and every stereotypical white girl artist

but i wholeheartedly believe britney would be his favourite and he has her whole discography on cassette, cd, vinyl, u name it he has a britney spears collection

also his ass is NOT straight 💀 i’ve never met a straight man who listens to britney spears

♡ julie gaffney !

lowkey a regina george multitude if she wasn’t kinda. yk. a bad person

she’s a mix of cher and regina

everyone at the fancy ass boarding school literally loves her because she’s calm, smart pretty nice etc etc she’s just a really great person to be around

shes that one student who has every assignment finisher a week early, all a’s and 100% in every subject WITHOUT being mean abt it!!

her ass is friends with the whole student population and knows every well and knows all the drama but won’t tell everyone if she thinks it’s too personal (it’s it’s random petty nonsense she tells the team)

♡ ken wu !

secretly rlly good friends with julie but nobody knows even though they do not try to hide it at all

literally wander the halls talking abt whatever just for everyone to be like “y’all are friends???”

also this man secretly loves lana del rey

him and julie will sit on his bedroom floor and literally tell him the most insane and jaw dropping gossip she heard that day while lana is playing in the background

everytime someone asks his favourite lana song he says grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing on did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd to fuck with them

♡ dean portman !

is actually very very good at math!!

he was a tutor for the 9th/10th graders for a bit to get volunteer hours and also cause he just likes doing math

you’d expect it to be like doing homework with ur dad and the poor kid is in tears while deans like “WHATS NINE. TIMES TWO.” but he’s actually surprisingly patient

if he’s explained something a few times and they still don’t get it he’ll just try it a different way until they get it and work them through the problem

has rlly strong relationships with the 9th and 10th graders cause of this and is essentially their older brother figure

the amount of 14/15 year olds that he’s given relationship advice too is insane (id be one of the 14 year olds probably)

♡ luis mendoza !

his type is secretly quiet girls cause he finds them rlly interesting and likes the thought of them being happy around him but quiet around everyone else

he’s like yes girl be urself with me

it all stemmed from the girl he liked in 8th grade who helped pick up his pencils when she accidentally knocked his pencil case out of his hand (she was a quiet nerdy girl)

like a whole year later and he’s still trying to rizz her up 💀

he’s one of those guys who takes forever to lose feelings

the girl is actually good friends with him btw

♡ dwayne robertson !

i feel like he is fucking AMAZING at baking

his icon is dolly parton and he heard berry pie so he immediately learned how to bake

if someone he knows has a birthday he either bakes the birthday cake or brings them something he made depending on how close he is with them

and holy shit it’s the most amazing thing u will ever taste and nothing will ever compare

yes he’s one of those guys who will go on an 18 minute tangent on how amazing dolly parton is if someone talks shit about her (same i love dolly)

[ziggy-stardust-is-in-love]

So I thought maybe I’d do one of the informational things for my page (warning: it’s obnoxiously long)

You can call me Zags, Ziggy, “the Ziggler” (according to @virginia-madison,) or anything you want! Doesn’t really matter

She / her, they / them, or even he / him if you want, I don’t know what I am anymore

Omni

Demigirl?? Idk about gender rn

Don’t be a creep I will block you (im a minor 🤨)

Music is my life

Theatre kid!!

I think I’m an infp whatever that is. Ig I share a personality type with Kurt Cobain so that’s sick

David Bowie made me who I am

Raised on classic rock

My posts will probably be random unfunny thoughts or updates

Ukulele freak

No negativity or bad vibes. We’re chill here (basic dni stuff)

My interests (bands, tv, theatre)

Green Day

David Bowie

Weezer

Basically any music ngl

Stranger Things

Back to the Future

The Breakfast Club

Lord of the Rings

The Hobbit

Crying over people we can’t have

Roblox (I’m hiding this in here bc it’s a secret)

The Beatles

Billy Joel

My Chemical Romance (still learning)

Rodrick Heffley (shut up I love that man)

TX2 (cry about it)

The Lorax (gotta be one of my favorites)

Shrek (musical or movie, played Lord Farquaad)

Newsies (theatre kid)

CRUTCHIE!!! 💕 (Newsies) I played crutchie and it was freakin awesome

ANTHONY HOPE!!! (Sweeney Todd) another awesome character I got to play

Little Shop of Horrors

Wicked

Theatre in general‼️‼️ (PLEASE)

Pikmin

Heheh Good Omens now too

ANYTHING. PLEASE.

💕My pretty boyfriend: @someone-kill-the-ej <3 (He’s my soulmate and I love him so so much. I’m head over freakin heels for him bro)💕

💝Mi esposa: @natitith 😍😍💃🏽🕺🏻💝

💖💖 MY BESTEST FRIEND TO EVER BE CREATED (I thank the lord for her every day) : @perfumeaddicted (she’s offline 90% of the time and usually doesn’t really post) ((we also literally share a brain and we’re the same exact person)) 💖💖

You can always send requests for images to our Weezer on or images to put in American idiot ‼️‼️‼️ (please do I’m lonely)

anyways sorry it’s so long maybe I’ll delete half of this later :P

updated 3-7

[scalene-4]

when i was 19 years old living in boston as a fresh college dropout (and as i would find out 6 years later, an egg) i tried heroin so that i could tell my friends about it. drugs had played a pretty central role in my day to day life since high school and like any other kid that age i tended to take anything with the right blend of danger and insight and make it my entire personality — eventually i’d learn to channel that obsessive nature fully into music and generally Being Alive but that was quite a ways away.

i got off work one night at about 2am and headed to my dealer’s house. he was the younger brother of another student i was somewhere between friends and acquaintances with — a burly paranoid typhoon of a human who wanted to be jim morrison almost as badly as i wanted to be kurt cobain. i usually would buy coke and weed from him and take whatever random pills he happened to have lying on the table; today the proverbial super mario box sporting a “?” contained something new.

“you see that bag on the table that looks like brown coke?”

“yeah.”

*laughs* “that’s heroin.”

this was it. with no shortage of shame i must admit i was really excited and had been fantasizing about this moment since age 14, walking around my high school campus nursing some heartbreak or another and listening to 40oz to freedom by sublime.

my dealer instructed me to rack out a little bump no bigger than my pinky nail (which since i bite them is even smaller than normal), and wait till i felt it before taking any more. naturally when it didn’t kick in immediately i insisted on doubling down. also as much as i’d love to leave this out i made a decisive point to put on something in the way by nirvana, which to this day sends a seismic cringe rattling down the length of my spine.

we went outside to smoke a cigarette, and immediately a new feeling washed over my body. i can best describe it as the comfort of a loved one putting a blanket over you, coupled with a really intense head rush. i sat down on the curb laughing.

anyone that’s done heroin before will tell you that it’s pretty normal to throw up. i maybe got to enjoy the initial feeling for 5 minutes before nausea took ahold — by this time we’d gone back inside and i’d found a literal blanket to lay on the couch under, but nature was calling.

i’m not sure if this was 15min or an hour, but most of my remaining memories of the actual high consisted of puking into my dealers bathtub while chugging blood orange pellegrino sparkling water in between bouts of nausea. eventually i began to come down and decided to go home, making my way downstairs to his living room. my dealers house was always directed by david lynch, the dialogue jumpy and the atmosphere thick with a decidedly bizarre dread. this entire incident his brother had been sitting in the corner of the living room spiraling out into the singularity of a xanax black hole, and he was still in position when i made it downstairs. while no one was looking, i stole two pills off the top of their fridge that i never ended up taking and they lived in the pocket of jeans i no longer own for quite some time after the fact. i never found out what they were, i think i just swiped them to feel guilty about something.

the part about this story that always sticks out to me is the visual component — they don’t tell you that heroin has a slight psychedelic component to it. everything looked like the first bit of the wizard of oz, sepia toned and monochromatic. a drug experience that had taken me straight to kansas as if it was the land of oz itself. i didn’t trust the wizard here (he was scary) and it was time to leave.

the oz comparisons don’t end at the light brown tinge to reality — i opted to walk home to my apartment as the sun was coming up, and as i navigated the boston streets still in an opiate haze my dealer rolled past me on his bike. cackling like the wicked witch herself as he disappeared into the fading summer darkness. one day i’m going to put that into a music video or something, it’s funnier the more i look back on it but at the time it was really strange and freakish and amplified my urge to get home to safety. eventually i made it to my mattress on the floor at 54 burbank street, and passed out as the sun came up.

it would take another 5 years for me to stop using hard drugs and another after that to quit drinking alcohol. i’d write sober shortly after the latter, a song about missing fucked up adventures such as the one above despite knowing all roads containing such mishaps tend to lead to the same destination. these days i find a lot of joy in seeking out strangeness without having to take a pill or snort or smoke or inject something as a cover fee, strangeness that since i’ve moved to new york city has been in no short supply. after using heroin that first time i made a point to tell everybody i’d done it, expecting shock and awe and pats on the back for some reason. i regret being repulsed and disappointed at my friends’ concern, like they were yawning at a trapeze act i’d spent months perfecting. i think i’m still learning to reckon with the piece of myself that feels as if she has to put herself in mortal danger and spiritual agony for attention — hopefully at that point i at least get a half decent song out of it. don’t do drugs kids :) or do, it’s none of my business

2 things to add:

-said dealer texted me like 5-6 years after this saying i owed him money and after responding in a panic asking what for, he said “just kidding lol” and i haven’t heard from him since. he might be dead

-i’m aware that there’s a deeply rooted and kind of beautiful irony in my posting this story for attention

[coq-ue-tte]

𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

(this is my first tumblr post so don’t mind me)

🕯 🧸 ☁ 🪐 🕊 🤎 🌙 📷

(𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐤𝐓𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭)

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

~ SAD HEADCANNONS ~

• Lawrence felt so guilty about not going back for Adam that he used his power as an apprentice to anonymously stalk Adam’s family, find his parents and send money to them to pay for his grave or to go towards the vigil.

• In an argument with Scott Tibbs (probably to do with the new album photoshoot) he broke the last picture Adam had of his parents.

• He began smoking and doing drvgs in his early teens, and this was one of the reasons why he fell out with his parents and got kicked out.

• After everything that happened to Adam, Lawrence took up photography to help remember him.

• Larry would also go to the parking lot where they first properly met, to reconnect with him.

• Afraid of the dark.

• After the events of saw 1 (if he magically escaped) he would NEVER lock the doors to the bathrooms he would use in public, in case he got locked in one again. But it would kind of annoy you because you’d have to wait for him.

• Went to a rehabilitation camp when he was younger.

• Adam met Daniel at a ‘Wrath of the Gods’ gig. But he saw him as a little brother.

• Daniel would rant to Adam about Eric, but Adam would relate to it all because of his own relationship with his father.

• Adam would often compare himself to the attention Scott got from women, this would make him a lot more insecure and self conscious .

• The photo of Adam (seen in The Scott Tibbs Documentary) was the last remaining thing Scott got from Adam’s apartment, the rest of it was taken by squatters…

• Bailed Scott out a couple times, this is one of the reasons why he is poor.

• Definitely had that one teacher at school that he’d just linger with because all of the other people in his grade/year pissed him off.

• Taught Daniel how to skate.

• HEAR ME OHT FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE I DON’T EXPLAIN IT VERY WELL !!!

~ Scott would definitely try and get with 18 year old groupies or Yk younger, but he’d definitely try and set them up with Adam too. Adam wouldn’t have any of this illegal shit and reassure the women that he was nice and didn’t want it.

• The iconic shirt of his seen in Saw 1 was probably given to him by his dad. It’s one of the last things he has.

• Gets into fights at bars bc he RUNS HIS MOUTH. But that doesn’t mean he wins them ….

• He waited every day outside of his apartment to see if Amanda was there.

• Liked Amanda because he knew that she wouldn’t run off with Scott.

• His parents definitely tried reaching out to him, but he didn’t want any of it.

• His parents put flyers and missing poster signs to try and get their son back. But it didn’t work …

• He had such a problem with Larry cheating on his wife because I get the vibe that Adam’s dad cheated on his mom.

• Died thinking that no one loved him. But there’s probably a lil bench put in his name in his hometown.

• Stalks his exes online.

• Got arrested for stalking and harassment.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

HAPPY / RANDOM HEADCANNONS <3 (yay)

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

• Hates cheese.

• Went to a blink- 182 concert back when they were REALLY popular.

• He was close to his grandma, but when she died, he kind of spiralled (this is kinda sad but cute :))

• Donnie Darko is his comfort character.

• Gets outfit inspiration from people like Kurt Cobain and Billy Loomis. (If you know you know)

• His couch is COVERED in cigarette burns.

• Owns a tumblr account <3

• Owns a wrath of the Gods fan page. We love a supportive king.

• Owns one of those TikTok accounts that just low-key aims all of his posts about Taylor Swift and the swifties.

• Had a buzz cut back in high school.

• Definitely be one of those people like “Name 5 Songs !!! 😡😡😡” Bro would love pissing people off.

• Loved Smoking at night to Jeff Buckley’s Grace. Loved that man so much.

• Definitely a comic book collector.

• Would love all- inclusive buffets :)

• more than likely got expelled as a kid.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

(that’s all for now <3)

[mint-ty]

Since the Lithuanian band Katarsis is new to me too, I made a summary of this interview that was filmed after LT semi-final. (youtube video)

They say they're very surprised about getting through the LT semi-final (when this interview was filmed) and it's amazing how many people have listened to their song.

Did they watch the semi-final on the tv? (the shows were prerecorded).

Alan: no, I was a bit scared and spent the day in bed watching random series, only turned on the TV for the final voting :D and when we passed I rewinded the whole show to watch from the beginning.

Why Eurovision?

Lukas: in the beginning it was just like a joke among us like "oh let's go to Eurovision!:D" but then after looking more into it, it seemed like a good experience and opportunity. Hardest was to convince Emilija and Alanas to sign for it.

Alanas: yeah I didn't want to participate for myself, I didn't think our music would be welcomed maybe on such a big scale, but the band is more important so I wanted to fight with my fear and do this for my friends:)

Lukas: there's a lot of skepticism around underground musicians for both Eurovision and TV in general. But after thinking about it longer we decided there's nothing we would lose by trying.

Have you ever played on Žalgiris Arena stage before? (currently the biggest stage in LT)

Alan: yeah once :D another warm-up band needed a back-up guitarist and asked me in. It was nice:D

Is there anything you want or plan to change for the LT Finals performance?

Lukas: maybe the whole entrance? we're not used to tv stages so just when to start a song is communicated well in my opinion. But for the song itself we try not to think too much and keep everything that is as now.

How hard is it to pretend to play the instruments on stage, since only the vocals are live?

Alanas: yeah it was hard, since it doesn't feel like you even need to be there on the stage. I really wanted to pretend like Kurt Cobain overly acting in that one TV show or something like that :D I think it's better to do it with less perfection, but to do it live.

Have you played the song before?

Lukas: no, it never has been finished to the very end. When we will play it now, it for sure will sound different from how it sounded before in our rehearsals. In live gigs we can adapt the songs much more to the audience and the feeling, but this song obviously will have to stay closer to the recorded version from now on, with back vocals phonogram and all.

What is the song about?

Lukas: I don't really know honestly, the song changed so many times and had so many meanings to me, that now it doesn't mean anything in particular. Maybe it's about relationships. It also can mean anything to the listener, however he understands the song.

So is it about a relationship with a particular person?

Lukas: no, it had many forms and now it's just a ball of a feeling in general, so it's really hard to say what it's about.

What about the part "tavo" in the end of the song? people even count how many times it was said and say it's too many times.

Lukas: the original song was even longer, over 4 minutes, so we actually concenced it. I used the sound of "tavo" as an additional which I think sounded cool :D

How did Katarsis start?

Lukas: first I was alone, just playing music as a teenager in my bedroom. My first recorded song from a phone is even still on soundcloud. Then I got invited to several gigs and saw that playing by myself was very difficult, and started looking for a band, and here we are eventually.

Where is the name "Katarsis" from?

Lukas: I really like movies and theater, and at the time I was in a sort of movie camp, and heard this word and really liked it. Now it also has a meaning of "letting out your feelings", which I think fits our music style well.

You say you are an alternative music underground band, but I wouldn't call you underground because you have another song Vasarą Galvoj Minoras that has 3mln on spotify and even got an award. How many gigs do you do? I heard people sweep your tickets?

Lukas: recently they don't sweep our tickets anymore, maybe that's why we went to Eurovision :D we had a period when everyone wanted to hear just that one song, now our gigs are smaller but people actually know our songs and want something new, so that is very lovely

Are you afraid Tavo Akys might be your most popular song now, that you'll have to play as the finishing one for many gigs to come?

Lukas: not really, no. Even Vasarą Galvoj Minoras we weren't playing in the end. Usually in the middle somewhere, and recently I don't think we played it at all.

Alanas: I don't really like that song so I'm happy we're not playing that :D I had told that to Lukas too :D I joined the band after it was already released.

How did the band come together? since each of you have also your individual music projects and other bands that you also play in, like Emilija has a duet band with her partner, you Alan are playing for another band and also have your individual EP, and etc.

Alanas: I was asked to join by our drummer Jokūbas, since we were coursemates in uni.

Lukas: and Jokūbas came to the band to replace the previous drummer before I even knew the old drummer wanted to leave :D he said to me one time we met in a fest "I heard you're looking for a drummer?" and I was "no?.." :D but I did call him later to join after all.

Questions from the listeners: Any bands that influence your music?

Lukas: honestly I try to listen less at the moment because I don't want to pick any influence. So I can't say if there was any influence before. Recentry I liked some wild noise electronic songs, and maybe Orillia(?) Shadow song from the 90s I think.

Any rituals before going on stage?

Both: nope

Alan: tune my guitar :D

Have you noticed more alternative music going to Eurovision stage? Would you like to see more bands like yours on Lithuanian stage?

Both: honestly we weren't following previous eurovisions that closely, maybe only the finals..

Lukas: yes of course. It always feels like eurovision songs are just a repeat of the same. I'd especially love to see more unique music, I think Lithuania has a lot to offer not only for our stage but for all Europe. Something like Molchat Doma has done by Belarussians, I think we can really find good music to uplift among ourselves too.

Do you expect to do gigs outside in other European countries?

Both: we weren't even expecting to pass the semi-final :D

Alanas: but yeah I'd love to try playing abroad. I had talked with fellow musicians and it sounds like an amazing experience.

What about lithuanian language in the songs?

Lukas: I love that it has been becoming more popular. I always enjoy hearing native language in foreign songs too, so I hope there will be more of that.

Who worked on the LED visuals on the screen?

Lukas: it was Ignas Blažys, a graphic designer, but he feels like a part of our band now since he helped so much with the visuals. We might change something a bit for later on the screen, I don't know yet, we'll see.

How about a choerography on the stage? are you planning anything?

Lukas: yeah we planned - walking around a bit :D we might need to think about that too, but for sure we don't want any hard choreography because it won't feel organic then and we want the song to feel natural.

The cameras should be catching me, not me catching the cameras.

Interviewer: not how eurovision works, but good luck :D

Are you scared a bit about going to Basel? Have you kept several free weeks in May just in case?

Alanas: I didn't.. :D maybe I should cancel my works just in case..

Lukas: to be honest we're not expecting to go to Basel, so we're not scared and we're trying to enjoy the experience. Maybe if we win, then we will be scared I think :D

Do you have some jobs outside of music that might be impacted by a trip to Basel?

Alanas: I teach guitar, so I might need to cancel few weeks of lessons :D

Lukas: I work as a video editor, mostly because I need a salary. Also I wanted to say thank you very much for everyone who believe in us and write lovely comments, they really go to my heart ♡

Do you write song lyrics by hand?

Lukas: no I write to notes on computer or on my phone. I'm that generation already.. :D I don't think I have a ballpen at home... :D

Just for curiosity, are you right or left-handed?

Lukas: I think we're all right-handed in the band.

If you meet Tommy Cash, what would you talk about? :D

Alanas: oh wow, I don't even know, I'm a bit intimidated I think.. :D he's an amazing artist and performer and I have huge respect for him, I don't know.. It's like when I was a child and saw Marilyn Manson, what would I even say? :D

Interviewer: I had a chance to be in the same party with Marilyn Manson two times - he is as creepy as he looks :D But with Tommy Cash I'm sure you'd find a common topic if you both meet, especially that his music is also considered alternative to some level.

How old are you?

Alanas: 23, Lukas: 22

Are you planning an English version of Tavo Akys?

Both: for sure no.

Have you got a katarsis feeling when you passed the semi-finals?

Lukas: maybe not katarsis, euphoria maybe? when we passed I was super happy for a bit and then I got worried what next, another 2 weeks of work. But then, before now I had half of year of free time and I wasn't feeling too well myself to be honest, so now with a full schedule of things to do I'm feeling much happier and fuller as a person.

Have you checked reactions from foreigners to your song? do you read comments?

Alanas: yeah I love reading comments :D some of them are very creative, I also screenshot and post some to our group chat :D

Lukas: youtube reactions are also funny, they really don't say anything, but yeah we've seen some.

Any potential collabs or wishes?

Lukas: we're actually planning a collab song with another band Velvet vocalist.

Any more plans? for albums or such for this year?

Lukas: we have some gigs planned for this summer, but with new releases we'll see, maybe.

Did you have a strategy for going to eurovision?

Lukas: I think the main strategy was just to try and see, get some experience, try for ourselves so we don't feel stuck.

Interviewer: Thank you everyone and good luck.

[delusional-fantasising]

Guys I had a random vision of a head canon

So young Peter in my mind is a rebellious shithead like he would egg houses and fuck around with Karen's by putting dog shit in their bags super speed style. But I feel like in highschool he had a punk/grunge phase;

- Black band shirts like a black shirt with the nirvana angel on the middle (White design specifically)

- Black cargo pants

- Multiple belts (This one is canon that he wears multiple belts)

- Messy and smudged eyeliner

- He cut his own hair to make it look jagged and messy like a shaggy mullet. He also dyed a few black strands as well

- Black nail polish but would purposely crack it just because

- Wore similar outfits to Kurt Cobain but more darker colours

Not looks wise but I feel like he definitely vandalised a police station at least once as a way too rebel and get revenge of the mistreatment against all types of minorities. He hates oppressing himself and he stole a microphone one time to shout out during a protest that he was tired of hiding who he was.

I'm so planning to draw this since I have a really good vision and if someone draws this tag me in it!

[fritz-federleicht]

Kurt Cobain with a soulmate au with the writing on the arm thing? like he would write random lyrics on his arm not thinking about it and the reader would be confused because none of it makes sense but then it clicks like oh this guy is a musician and why does it sound like nirvana music? or maybe the reader is an artist and would draw flowers or something on their arm and Kurt would think it’s super cute? I know I'm rambling but I had this idea and I wasn’t sure how to write it XD

Dumb/ Kurt Cobain x reader

Notes: Thank you for the idea

Words: 956

You're in a small record store that is also a cafe. You stand in front of a huge shelf and browse through it, looking for new records. Soft music plays in the background to which you hum.

The bell above the door rings as it opens. You look up briefly. A lanky man with blond hair enters the store and sits down at one of the three tables in the corner. He orders a coffee from Max, the store owner and barista.

You concentrate again on the shelf in front of you.

A short time later, you stand at the counter. "Hey Max, can I have a latte? You know where to find me?"

"Hi Y/N, of course." Already he turns around and does his job.

You walk over to the tables. No one is sitting there except the blond man. He stares at his exposed arm. When he notices that someone is approaching him, he lifts his gaze.

His face is somehow familiar. You have probably seen him here before.

You sit down at the table next to him, put the records you found in front of you and look at the covers.

"Here Y/N, your latte."

"Thanks Max." You grin at him. He goes back behind the counter.

You immediately take a sip. You can't help but look to the blond.

He is writing intently on his arm. Since you sit relatively close to him you can read what he writes.

'Skin the sun, fall asleep

Wish away, the soul is cheap'

You frown. What does that mean? You look into his eyes, into those ocean blue eyes. Then you remember who he is. Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of Nirvana!

You don't want to disturb him, he deserves some peace. But you're also interested in what the lyrics mean.

"Hey sorry to bother you. I saw you writing something on your arm. What does it mean?"

"Oh, that." He points to his arm. "I don't know. It just popped into my head." He looked at you, thinking. "Do we know each other?"

You laugh. "I thought so too but no. I'm just in the store more often. We've probably seen each other here but never talked."

"Now that you mention it. You're always standing in front of all those records aren't you?"

"Yes, always looking for bargains. Mind if I join you? Only if you want to, of course." You ask shyly.

"Yeah sure. Have a seat." You settle down across from him.

"So what are you going to do with the text?" You point to his arm.

"You know I'm a singer. Do you know Nirvana?" He looks at you questioningly.

You grin. "Do I know Nirvana? Absolutely! I love them." You say. Who doesn't know Nirvana? Then you go on. "I know who you are, too. I just didn't want to be rude earlier and bother you with any questions about the band. You probably hear them way too much."

He takes a sip of his coffee and leans back in his chair, smiling. "Well, tell me your name first."

"Y/N."

Kurt straightens back up and extends his lanky hand to you. "Nice to meet you Y/N."

You take his hand. "Nice to meet you too Kurt."

"So, Y/N, I'm writing a new song." He stares thoughtfully at his arm. "But maybe I'll scrap this lyrics."

"Why? They're good. I don't understand anything, but they're really good."

He laughs. "Let's see." His blue eyes look back into yours. "You know I love writing my songs here."

"Isn't it a little risky? I mean it's a record store. Shouldn't there be Nirvana fans hanging out here all the time?"

"On the contrary. The store is so unknown that almost no one ever enters. That's why it's so quiet here." He brushes a strand of hair out of his face.

You look at him challengingly. "What if I tell everyone you've been hanging around?"

He laughs, "I don't think you would."

"Why?"

"Fans would come here looking for me. They'll see I'm not here and buy all your records instead."

You clutch your chest in mock concern. "You're right. I'd better not do that then."

"That's what I thought. Besides, I wouldn't set foot in this store, and we'd never see each other again." He waits for your reaction.

You look at him with your mouth open. "What?"

He repeats himself. "We would never see each other again."

You hold your cup. "I get that... But you want to see me again?"

He smiles. "I don't know. I like you."

You stare at him.

"Okay Y/N. I've got to go now. Give me your hand."

You obey and hold your hand in front of him.

He starts writing numbers on it. "Call me. Then we can have a date."

Kurt finishes his coffee and puts the empty cup on the table.

"I'll hear from you?"

You nod. "I'll call you."

You say goodbye to each other. Kurt joins Max at the counter and pays. He then leaves the record store. The bell rings.

You take a big sip from your cup. Kurt Cobain just gave you his number. The famous Kurt Cobain!

You call him the same day. You hit it off right away. Quickly you get together and are the new dream couple among celebrities. Nirvana fans love you, they see how happy you make Kurt.

He left the lyrics he had written on his arm in the song Dumb and didn't take it out. The song means a lot to you, because it reminds you of your first meeting in the record store.

[m00nchi16]

Personal Intro

I’m lilo! I’m mainly here to write short stories and read (mainly cm) fics

I’m non-binary but i prefer feminine titles (girlfriend, wife, etc), my pronouns are they/she

My fav color is purple

As a person I’m pretty much if you blended up rue Bennett, Lee Holloway, and Rachel amber into one

My interests:

I’m really into criminal minds, X-men, American horror story, Bridgerton, and most things Mike Faist related

My fav celebs are: Matthew gray gubler, Paget Brewster, most of the cm cast, Evan peters, Aubrey plaza, Margot Robbie, Candice king, Brittany Murphy, Olivia Cooke, Marilyn Monroe, Kurt cobain, Shelly duval, and Jane birkin (there’s more but these are the main ones)

Other things i enjoy include: Hello kitty, Harry Potter, the MCU, Heathers (the movie & the musical), The hunger games, shameless, smosh (the YouTube channel(s)), other YouTubers, and some other things here and there

More physically I love to swim, read, and write (colorings fun too)

Personally I’m unlabeled but this page is a very lgbtq+ safe environment along with any other “non normal” ppl

This is also a very mentally ill safe place so if you wanna request something involving that or just talk that’s completely fine

I don’t have a set posting schedule so I just kinda post at random so if you request something keep that in mind!

(And if you can’t tell I love the gifs on here) ⬇️ me (the deer)

[freaky-nirvana-fan]

Yippieee-- anyways Hallo my name is (Danny/Dani!!) I am gender fluid 😍not gender reveal...

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈

I am Mexican 😍 I have curly hair which I hate I say womp womp/merry Christmas in the most random times

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

The fact I have Tumblr is by my pookie who used to be my gf @omorayy we know each other irl 😝😝🤭🤭 she's taller than me 😞 these pictures define both us together

─────━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━─

All the nirvana songs ik right here

Smells like teen spirit, come as you are, lithium, heart shaped box, all apologies, blew, about a girl, territorial pissing, something in the way,Polly, endless nameles, dumb, in bloom, aneurysm, you know your right, moist vagina,beans,the other improv, Bambi Slaughter, black and blue whites, Mr moustache, Floyd the barber, hers she comes now, do re mi, return of the rat, cut me some slack, dont want it all, immigrant song, escalator to hell, breed, rape me sappy, serve the servants, pennyroyal tea, very ape, negative creep, scentless apprentice, heart shaped box, Frances Farmer will have her revenge on seattle, Gallons of rubbing alcohol flow through the strip, Marigold, I hate myself and want to die, radio friendly unit shifter, Milk it,Jam, school, paper cuts, love buzz, downer, scoff, swap meet, sifting, big cheese, drain you, stay away,lounge act, stain, sliver, been a son, turn around, Molly's lips, son of a gun, beeswax, Mexican seafood, hairspray queen, aero Zeppelin, big long now,curmudgeon,old age, oh the guilt, blandest ain't it a shame, heart breaker, Mrs Butterworth, clean up before she comes, opinion, spank thru, Anorexorcist, help me I'm hungry, if you must, pen cap chew, white lace and strange, raunchola, dont want it all, grey goose, they hung him on a cross, token eastern song, even in his youth, the money will roll right in, D-7, pay to play, verse chorus verse,

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

Im afraid of dead spiders but not live spiders I have no Idea whats wrong with me

I am in orchestra I play cello (honestly double bass kinda looks cooler)

═════════•°•⚠️•°•═════════════

I am not suicidal I'm just dumb and accidentally make it seem like that 🥺💧🥲

──────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────────

I luv Melanie Martinez 😍😍 (not more than Kurt Cobain tho) LOOK AT HERE (she's getting cancelled:( //

Also I like Conan gray!!

I've heard every nirvana song and started listening to at 6

My hobbies are:

⊱ ─────────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ────────── ⊰

Listening to music

Drawing

Outdoors

Singing

Playing guitar, piano, cello

Writing

Learning new things

Being with my friends/then locking myself bc I'm most likely tired (not locking a door)

Play games

Go for long car rides

°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°°l||l°l||l°l||l°

Fav songs! ↓↓↓

─────────ೋღ 🌺 ღೋ─────────

★Fav Animal★

SHARKIEE

Dik-Dik (majestic you should really look it up)

Fennec Fox

Flying Dwarf Japanese Squirrel

Sand Cat

❀✿❀➳❀✿❀➳❀✿❀➳❀✿❀➳❀✿❀➳❀✿One of my favorite FAVORITE things about

Sharks

Friend

Girlfriend

Boyfriend

Best friend

Shark

SHARK HAS NO END!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYYAAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

And another fun fact

Sharks can hear music! They have inner ear canals and can hear sounds waves which means they listen to music better than us

В моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонныВ моей голове музыки тонны

Anyways

[mistype360]

Omg, the assumption event seems so funnnn!!! INFP, LEFV, 6w5 sp 649 (can't decide between sp/so or sp/sx)

my assumptions about you!! why are my headers always so bad quality

aesthetic, music, vibe, colors:

there are 4 types of infp's in this world: the music one, the art one, the writing one, and the fashion one.

you are the fashion one.

i don't think it's that you dress this way, but that's where your infp obsession lies. i feel like you're secretly baroque? gothic? black eyeliner and grease hair punk? idk. but you dress very "downtown girl" and "normal." or maybe you're not personally baroque, but you have an appreciation for fashion and aesthetic, especially high fashion.

even when people call fashion "strange," you're still able to see the meaning behind it. anyways, i don't think you'd surround yourself with people who don't appreciate it so ig that's not really a problem. you're pinterest board is probably full of this stuff. maybe that's why you don't dress like it irl, since internally you might now want to judged or perceived differently. i feel like you're more of an observer and appreciator: a true romantic like an infp and their 4 fix 🥺

i also have a personal bias towards infp's, but i feel like you're very lana del rey ultraviolence, folk music, sad dark slow music, chelsea wolfe... idk any other artists tbh but this seems about right... kurt cobain?? kind of a stretch but you get the feel

if you were a color, you'd be like a mix of GREY, pink, WHITE, black, and GREEN. not like sage, but a very muted green and muted pink (also my INFP BIAS LMAO)

characters:

you're kinda split between two vibes, which i guess makes sense with your types duality. one one hand, you're giving studio ghilbli, lord of the rings, cowboy bebop, perfect blue...very feel-good movies

but on the other hand you're girl interrupted, gone girl, midsommer, babadook 🥴🥴 like very atmospheric movies that make you think a bit about yourself but mostly feel sad

random:

idk how to explain this in coeherent language but you're the definition of "screaming, crying, throwing up" when it comes to relationships - like you'll be very nostalgic, romantic, and emotional before you're even in the relationship with someone, but once you enter it you immediately stop feeling that way

if you were a sandwich, you would be a grilled cheese sandwich with basil, balsamic vinegar, and sourdough bread (im drooling just by typing this it sounds so good)

you're zodiac is either a libra, virgo, or sagittarius (idk why but trust me)

[josiebelladonna]

you may have—or not—noticed that I haven’t been talking about alex as much lately.

there’s a couple of reasons for that.

number one is obvious: by some dark magic, i’m getting a new laptop, meaning i can stop cataloguing my fics for the time being, meaning i can resume them accordingly (i’m gonna take extra good care of this one, too: i took extra good care of big red and it lasted me a whole decade).

number two: i’m not too happy with him at the moment, and yes, it has to do with captain howdy. every time he mentions her in some way, i just sit back and think, “why.” really, alex, i seriously struggle every single time… such that i don’t understand how you struggle with it. and the reason why i say this is because every single picture of him that i have seen since he started bringing her along on tours (that is, since back in the fall) and even before then, like when his mom was sick (and “wItHoUt HeR, It WoUlD’vE bEeN uNtHiNkAbLe”), do you want to know how many of them where he was smiling, like actually genuinely smiling, like he’s happy to be there?

for real, I actually counted. 2.

exactly 2 (the other night when the trio were taking a bow, and testament’s facebook cover photo).

everything else, he’s got that “deer in the headlights” thousand yard stare or that kurt cobain sort-of-smiling-but-is-in-a-great-deal-of-pain-and-has-no-one-to-talk-to-about-it and i know it’s because of her.

her.

trashy, stuck-up, pretentious, #2refined4you , dresses like she’s younger than me (and even then, I promise you there are plenty of 20-somethings, and us 30-somethings, out there who are quite glamorous and put-together), is quite dodgy (seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if she slept with some t.s.a. agent, i mean, how else would you bring some random rescue dog with you when i thought animals, especially those that aren’t yours, were supposed to be in quarantine for 3-4 months prior to international travel), tries way too hard to be uncool and simultaneously clever, and… strikes me as everything alex claims to be against, too.

the biggest example of this is a few years back when I did some snooping on their old blogs. there was a post where he said that he didn’t want them to be one of those couples who advertises themselves at every whim. well, I don’t know if this is just in reaction to me (won’t explain that, and as far as I’m concerned, no one deserves an explanation for that), but… congrats, alex. congrats on trying to convince yourself that you’re happy when i can tell from a mile away that you aren’t, and that is a fact. congrats on constantly wasting your time with a racially insensitive walking stereotype when you know better (you also don’t need another person to prove your worth, especially now at this point in your life). and most of all, congrats on becoming the very thing you were up against, an insecure person who is in denial.

congratulations. you are officially dead inside.

and honestly, it’s at the point now where it’s nearly impossible to watch, like that video he posted on stories yesterday with nate playing piano and OH MY GOD SHE COMES WALKING IN. it’s like every time I even *think* of playfully flirting with him again, there she is. every time I even *think* of sending him a kiss, there she is.

god, she just- RUINS EVERYTHING. she really does, she’s a major energy vampire.

and let’s not forget that she just about chased me off instagram a couple of months ago, either. seriously, I can’t explain it (and even if I could, I don’t think anyone would believe me, because what the hell do I know) but she has it out for me. and I simply can’t bear the idea of him being with her. in fact, every time i see him now, i actually have to force myself to divorce him from her. i see him and i can just see her pulling his strings like a puppet master. I was thinking about this last night, too: really, the best thing i can do at this point is to stop giving him attention. don’t even give him the time of day.

I hope he wakes up and realizes the truth, and it’s not going to kill you to admit you were wrong, and it’s not going to kill you to shed a tear once a while, either.

[catfuyus]

why do you think you could pull mikey easily? NOT doubting/hating im positive you could im just interested in everyone’s reasoning + i think its interesting how everyone percieves their fav

for a number of reasons actually ! and your question is totally fine it’s actually fun to think about and explain askdnsks

okay so ! mikey and I are painfully similar in personalities (plural cuz he can have different ones depending on the scenario) and in backstory; we’re essentially motivated by very similar things and once we got talking I 100% believe we’d just end up fixating on one another. my favorite scenario with mikey is childhood friends to lovers (especially since we had similar childhoods it just fits), but I also believe we’d inevitably click in whatever stage of life we met in. (Fun fact about me: I actually live in a town with rich motorcycle culture, I used to visit the biker bar down the street pretty frequently and guys in gangs have asked me to join & bought me drinks n stuff (I declined because that initiation sounded rough) so the things we have in common is probably my best reason why (another fun fact: a random guy on a motorcycle saw me walking down the street and invited me onto the back of his bike after he saw me smiling and eyeing it, I would totally jump on for mikey ;) my friends pulled me away so I didn’t askdnsks)

reason 2: I think I’m pretty attractive ! I’ll do a little face reveal if you guys want (˶◜ᵕ◝˶) not that anything as common as good looks would immediately catch mikey’s attention, but it doesn’t hurt my chances ! depending on the timeline I think my odds for mikey being one of those guys that comes up to a bar and buys me a drink is pretty high, especially depending on who he’s with ! the guys in the gang would definitely hit on me first, but I think they’d rope mikey in just by physical proximity and he’d only really gain interest based on the things I say + personality

reason 3 ! hmmm I actually don’t think I have a reason 3 lol maybe I just have 2 good reasons haha ! and even if for whatever reason mikey wasn’t the first to initiate wherever we were I’m lowkey pretty bold and would definitely go up to him and chat him up, especially if he has tattoos in the timeline (my favorite hc of him is all tatted) cuz then we can compare tats and talk about even more things ! oh I just remembered ! another reason I think I could canonically pull him is cuz he was born 1990, & I’m 1994, with only 4 years apart we’ve grown up with the same exposure to technology (so we have similar opinions on social media, etc) exposed to similar pop cultures (even though he’s japan, mitsuya canonically listens to the Red Hot Chili Peppers) mikey probably even likes the same things and music as me as well, we probably grew up playing the same game cube games and listening to kurt cobain at the same time

anyways ! that’s just a couple reasons why I feel like I could easily pull mikey (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) I’m obviously delusional and think about tokyo revengers way too much, but I also have my own version of mikey that is obsessed with me in my head too ♡ it’s a lot harder to imagine some of my other faves falling for me cuz all the reasons why mikey would fall for me in my head end up being obstacles and reasons why an mha guy might not fall for me (,,>ヮ<,,)!