#I actually made this post when the teaser came out but fuck it I’ll post it now

[xxsabitoxx]

Stay. {Unexpected Pt. 3} Teaser

Unexpected • Morning after • Stay.

Tengen x Makio x Hina x Suma x Reader

Warnings: contains smut, warnings will be more specific when the full chapter is posted

A/N: the title sounds sad as fuck but it literally describes the whole point of this chapter lmaoo

“Y/N?” You set your pen down, tired eyes trailing up to see Shinobu standing in your doorway. “Do you need something, Lady Kocho?” You were so tired you forgot no one was around, there was no reason to address her as your supervisor. “You really are tired.” She began to laugh, entering the room to take the stool your patients usually sat on. “I am.” Your hands came up to rub your face, every bone was aching. The sun was slowly beginning to rise outside of your small office, your shift was nearly done.

“It was easier when you still lived here, huh.” Shinobu was still a little bit annoyed that Tengen managed to take you from her. “Traveling is the only part I don’t like. As much as I loved it here, I like my new home a little more.” You knew Shinobu wouldn’t take it the wrong way, even as she faked a pout. “Never mind this job tiring you out, you got four people at home putting you through the ringer too.” She winked at your flustered face. “Oh! They aren’t that bad…” you tugged the collar of your uniform up a little more, hoping it would hide the bruise Suma had left on your neck.

“You know you can always sleep here and travel home later in the day. You don’t need to go running the second the sun is up.” Shinobu was looking pretty tired herself. “I know, but I haven’t been home in nearly two days. If I get one more teary eyed crow from Tengen I think I’ll lose my mind.” You were giggling as you spoke, most messages included Suma’s tears on the paper. “My my, they are quite needy aren’t they? It must be nice having people love you that much.” Your eyes widened a bit at that, blinking a few times at Shinobu before a smile crept up your tired face. “Yeah…it is nice.”

“You can go now, get home to them. I’m sure they’re probably already up and waiting.”

“Are you sure?” You didn’t like leaving your position early, anything could happen between that very moment at the thirty minutes before your shift actually ended. “Aoi will be up with the girls to take over for me very soon. I don’t think we’ll have a crazy rush or corps members that need help.” Shinobu herself looked ready to crawl into bed, these last two days truly were as hectic as you felt they were. When you still seemed hesitant, she continued. “You’re his tsugoku now, y/n. By corps rule, that comes first. Aren’t you leaving for a mission very soon?”

You stilled, you nearly forgot about the mission. “We are still waiting for a report back from an informant. Once we get that, we leave immediately.” Shinobu hummed, getting up slowly to open the window near your desk. “If that’s the case, you really need to get home and sleep.” Early morning light began spilling into the room. “Look at that, if you leave now the sun will be up by the time you get home.” She was ushering you up and out of your chair. “Shinobu are you sure?” You were only a few steps from the door at this point. “Yes! Like I said, they are probably waiting for you at this point!”

You stumbled through the door and into the hall. “Alright! Alright I’ll go!” The exhaustion was making you giddy, “good luck, y/n!” Most would assume that was for the mission, you knew otherwise. Heat flooded your cheeks as you waved her off, making a beeline down the hall towards the stairs. “I hope one of them is awake, I’ll probably fall asleep on the front porch at this rate.” You hoped they’d be willing to crawl back under the covers for a bit, or at least until you fell asleep.

The walk between the butterfly estate and the Uzui estate was only a few miles. All together you made it home just as the sun was fully risen above the horizon, just like Shinobu said you would. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” You could have collapsed then and there seeing Makio on the front porch, Hina was beside her. “You’re both up early!” You made your way through the gates, a warm cup of tea in both their hands. “Well, we were hoping to greet you when you made it home. Tengen and Suma are still fast asleep.” Hina scooted slightly, making enough space for you to sit between them.

“Y/N…you look exhausted.” Makio’s hand came to hold yours, worry filling her eyes. “I am. It’s been a crazy last two days at the estate’s infirmary. And now Tengen and I could be leaving for that mission soon…” you trailed off. You weren’t one for stress, and you didn’t like sharing that stress. But you couldn’t keep anything from them, they could read you like an open book. “Let’s get you to bed then! No point in sitting out here with us.” Hina was standing by the time she finished speaking. “I’d actually like to take a bath first…” you were being pulled up by Makio. “A bath it is.”

[kiaracarrera]

The Summer I Turned Pretty

Interrupting your OBX regular to talk about TSITP. Some light to medium spoilers about to follow.

I need people to talk about this series with because when I say this is the first series that made me fall in love with reading at the tender age of 14, just over a decade ago I mean it. The excitement I’ve been holding in, in anticipation for this series far outweighs any other and now that I’ve binged the show from 9am to 2am I have THOUGHTS.

- First of all, I loved it. Book to tv/movie adaptations are always a risk and almost never a comparison but with Jenny Han actively at the helm this series felt safe and it was - there were changes but mostly they felt for the better and the parts that I preferred in the book even felt understandable in the series.

- The casting! Amazing. 10/10. Admittedly I was apprehensive over the Conrad casting initially but a few teasers/trailers in and I was sold, Chris Briney does the broody/longing/lost so so well. Jeremiah’s casting took the longest and it shows because Gavin Casalegno IS Jeremiah, the perfect golden boy/sunshine kid. Lola Tung is radiant, this is Belly’s series and she is the main character is all the ways. Susannah/Laurel/Steven/Cam/Shayla, all just so wonderful I really couldn’t fault this cast.

- Unpopular decision I know but I have been a Jeremiah girl ever since I read It’s Not Summer Without You, Chapter 8 and I have stood by that decision to this day, ignoring book 3 because my Jeremiah would never. Howeverrrr, dare I say I have been converted Team Conrad? 🫣 The chemistry between this cast is just insane and all throughout the show I found myself flip flopping over who I was rooting for, I am still processing my ship thoughts but whilst I’ll always always have a special spot for Team Jellyfish that last scene with Conrad and Belly at the beach was just 😩 *chefs kiss*.

-But ummmm for all the absolute HATE that Jeremiah Fisher gets in book 3 over what happed when they were on a break why you gotta make Belly be actively kissing both brothers mere hours apart from each other? Like I loved it but also I hated it because now I’m going to have to watch that golden retriever get his heart absolutely smashed when Belly initially picks Conrad over him next season (assuming of course) I think I preferred the books where Belly wasn’t making out with Jeremiah and giving him false hope before driving off into the sunset with his brother.

- Taylor! I absolutely loved all the Swifty (and Olivia) songs and that in itself could (and possibly will be) it’s own post but I want to actually take a moment to acknowledge Rain Spencer’s Taylor. I actively chose not to re read TSITP before the series came out in order to be able to fully appreciate both mediums but I feel like from memory Taylor, at least in book 1 was not my fave. In the series however, I absolutely adored her. Whilst she fucks up a little bit I feel like Taylor is a true ride or die and her character is very reflective of a 16 year old growing up with insecurities and desires and I for one fucked with the way she didn’t fuck with Conrad. Because she didn’t see Conrad in the way viewers did, she saw him as someone who’d played with her besties heart and I absolutely would have been the same if I was her.

- Speaking of relationships I loved to see - Susannah and Laurel finally got their moment to shine and I loved loved loved them. There’s not much to say here because imo they were just the best. Also I really liked Shayla and Steven, Claire Cho who?

- Cam Cameron I love you.

- Redsox girl! Nicole was great, we stan female friendships and women who know their worth. I much preferred this version of them the one in the books, even if the clothes stealing thing did leave me feeling all the rage towards the deb girls.

- Cleveland Castile was okay. I liked having someone that Conrad could confide in and escape too but like I would have preferred to see more of the Conrad/Laurel relationship? Hell I think I would have preferred to see the dynamic between Conrad and John than introducing someone new. Speaking of parent/children relationships I wish we got more Susannah and Belly, they didn’t feel as close in the series as I had imagined they might and that was slightly disappointing.

- Adam sucked. John was fine, I liked him even. John and Laurel seem like soulmates on some level, whether that be as deeply connected friends or more, I’d be interested to explore this relationship in future seasons. Obviously the true soulmates are Susannah and Laurel, I just loved that John knew that and loved Susannah too.

- The infinity necklace being in this book was an interesting choice. I’m not mad about it but it will be interesting to see how this progresses the future story. Also did Susannah agree to doing the trials in the book? I’m due a re read but for some reason I feel like she didn’t? Either way I feel like we all know what’s going to happen if they intend on following along with the books in any way, which is *cue the Vanessa Hudgens clip* terrible but like inevitable? I cried in episode 7 heaven forbid anything heavier.

- The one thing that made me cringe was a few of the camera shots e.g. the weird flashback transitions and the binoculars scene 🤭 someone tell me they found those as cringe as I did 😂

- Overall, I know I’m missing some things and I might come back later to add to this post but I really loved this series and I’m so so excited for a season two. Someone come talk to me about it!!

[noteguk]

white lies | teaser 1: you | jjk | m

[ ! ] this is one of two teasers for my upcoming fic (White Lies) which will be posted on July 5th. The second teaser, following Jungkook’s pov, will come out next Monday! 

— contents and warnings (for the teaser); no major warnings for the teaser, kinda angsty but not really, athlete!jungkook x reader, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, heavy simping content, actually a good warning would be jk being all sweaty and shirtless 

— words; 1,3k

~

The sun was a merciless god above you, sending its scorching waves down onto the open field, burning on your scalp and inducing the sweat that dripped down your neck. Even with your palm shielding your vision, you were still having a hard time following the movement of the ball amongst the players, a low buzzing sound in your ears muffling their excited exclamations. It wasn’t even summer, but it surely felt like it. 

Maybe you were having a heat stroke, you thought, but quickly disregarded the idea. It wasn’t impossible, but you had just come out of a long hibernation period near the lockers, where a large shadow mingled with a cool breeze, relieving you of that free trial of Death Valley. Still, it wasn’t all good, and you certainly would’ve rather been inside an acclimatized environment with a bucket of ice cream than to be treated like a piece of meat in a barbecue. You would’ve left a long time ago if it wasn’t for him. 

There was no excuse inside your head that didn’t sound like you were simping hard — because, even though it was a difficult pill to swallow, it was the truth. Yeah, maybe it was a nice gesture for you to stick around until Jungkook got his much-deserved break, maybe it was super nice of you to make sure his water bottle was freezing cold for when the time came. There was no reason he couldn’t do that by himself, though, and he had the rest of his teammates to spend his break with. You were just simping. And acting like a complete clown because of it. 

Two sharp whistles interrupted their practice, their coach signaling that it was time for a break. You breathed out in alleviation for exactly two seconds before you saw Jungkook jogging in your direction, and then your nervousness picked right back up. 

It was so unfair how dazzlingly handsome he looked that you wanted to go up to heaven and have a very heated argument with whoever thought it was a good idea to send that level of perfection down to Earth. He even looked like those scenes in Shrek in which Prince Charming is moving in slow motion, his luscious hair to the wind and a striking smile on his face — okay, maybe you were having a heat stroke. 

“What’s up?” He asked, a little out of breath, as he reached you. At some point amongst your catastrophe of horny thoughts, you had reached for his bottle, and were now handing it to him. “Thanks. You look sweaty.”

You scoffed. “If I'm sweaty, I don’t know what makes you.”

Jungkook squeezed the bottle, sending a squirt of water directly into his open mouth. Did you stare at his jawline and the muscles on his neck for a little too long? Absolutely. But he didn’t have to know that. “Yeah, fair enough.” He brushed the back of his hand against his mouth. “Coach went insane today— Did you bring something to eat?” 

You nodded, reaching for your backpack. The bench next to you was covered with your scattered notes, most of which you didn’t even have the attention span to go through. Midterms suck hard enough as it is, but you just had to make it worse by accompanying Jungkook during his practice. “Yeah, I noticed that,” you mumbled, miraculously finding a couple protein bars in your backpack — who were you kidding? You had put them there because of him. “Any reason for it?” 

Jungkook shrugged, taking one of the bars. He looked out to the field as his hands worked on unwrapping it, a deep frown covering his face. He looked so gorgeous with his dark, sweaty hair pushed back that you almost didn’t compute his following words. “My fault, probably. Left early last time.” He shoved the bar inside his mouth before he could speak any further, his sparkling eyes growing wide at the taste. “Hm! This is great, by the way.” 

Uneasy, you shifted around on your seat. From the corners of your eyes, you could see the silhouettes of his teammates walking around the field, looking like ghosts. You wondered if Jungkook didn’t prefer talking to them instead. “Wait, you said that you all got sent home early,” you said. 

Jungkook chuckled like a nervous kid. “Hm, yeah. Kind of,” he admitted, unable to meet your gaze. “Didn’t want to make you mad. Besides, it was much more fun hanging out with you.” 

Through the years, you had become a pro at pretending that his random praises didn’t get to you — mostly through minor bursts of frustration. “You’re such an idiot, you could’ve just waited another hour.” You slapped his shoulder lightly, which only made him laugh harder. “Do you know if it’s going to take long today? I kinda have a test on Friday and it’s hard to review out here. You know, for that class I’m basically failing already.” 

He shrugged. “No idea. You can leave if you want.” Jungkook returned the water bottle to you, along with the bar he didn’t eat. “I have a date later so I’ll have to rush home, anyways. You can take a break at being my personal cheerleader for the day.”  

That was the moment that you wished that he had stabbed you in the chest instead, considering he had caused much more damage with his casual words alone. It wasn’t the first (nor the last) date that Jungkook had, but they all felt like it; they all surprised and hurt you all the same. Maybe it was your own fault for building up some hopeful expectations that, deep down, your feelings were mutual. Maybe it was time to snap out of that alternate reality you had created in the name of your own comfort, and search for someone else. 

“Who are you going out with?” Your voice was normal, controlled, not at all equivalent to the shattering of your heart. 

Problem was: there wasn't someone else. 

Jungkook rubbed the back of his head, oscillating his stare away from yours. “You don’t know her, and I—”

Two sharp whistles (which now sounded so merciful) interrupted his excuses. Jungkook took a dumbfounded glimpse at his teammates, soon meeting the pissed off look in his coach’s face. 

“Already? Fuck,” he complained, hand grabbing his shirt and using it to dry the sweat on his forehead. If your heart weren’t in shambles, you probably would’ve enjoyed the view of his abs in full display for three glorious seconds, before his team shirt fell back into place. “I think you should go home and rest, ___.” Jungkook started to jog away, raising his voice so you could hear it. “I’ll text you about how it went later, alright? And don’t get a heat stroke!” 

“Okay,” your voice was a soft little thing, and you knew he hadn’t heard it. Jungkook was already halfway across the field, his back turned to you and the large number ten bouncing on his back. “Have fun.” 

You took a deep breath, hands working to put your notes on a neat pile. The smell of fresh grass was intoxicating, making you a bit dizzy as you got up to your feet. You let his water bottle in the corner of the bleachers, where there was a small shadow, and went home. 

[highladyluck]

Wheel of Time 01x01 liveblog

Ok, time to share my (slightly cleaned up) episode-by-episode liveblog! I will have a longer post later about Mat because those thoughts are more developed and this is more for immediate reactions.

Here’s a teaser:

I love how the camera is doing the work of showing people's POVs- every time the camera was following Mat and then it zooms in on a shiny thing I'm like THAT'S THE INSIDE OF MAT'S HEAD! THAT'S THE LITTLE VOICE IN HIS BRAIN THAT PRICES EVERYTHING HE SEES! THAT'S HIS LITTLE MAGPIE BRAIN CONSTANTLY MAKING SLOT MACHINE NOISES GOD BLESS

Oh hot damn love how they're doing the madness with a person only the male channeler can see (wonder if that's going to be how everyone goes mad?)

I hate that Liandrin is hot. Fuck you Liandrin.

I love all the rituals in the first episode especially!

Nyneave YEET

How dare Egg be so pretty; related, the shades of blue in this episode are so gorgeous

"Something's been driving [the wolves] down from the mountain" (Spoiler alert: It's Perrin)

"Only the sheep to keep him warm"

I love Barney's physicality as Mat!

Also omg Mat I see you have a type

I love how the camera is doing the work of showing people's POVs- every time the camera was following Mat and then it zooms in on a shiny thing I'm like THAT'S THE INSIDE OF MAT'S HEAD! THAT'S THE LITTLE VOICE IN HIS BRAIN THAT PRICES EVERYTHING HE SEES! THAT'S HIS LITTLE MAGPIE BRAIN CONSTANTLY MAKING SLOT MACHINE NOISES GOD BLESS

Soft Rand

I love the women all getting drunk together! It feels so damn refreshing to see a bunch of ladies just living it up in a tavern. It's such a simple genderswap but it feels strikingly fresh and new. Like, this is a fantasy/post-apocalyptic world where women can just get drunk in the local tavern with the girls!!! This is what I loved about the WoT worldbuilding, it removes the gendered existential background dread that I've spent my whole life either indulging or fighting or at least aware of. (and it gives it to men instead of eliminating it altogether! but the first part of the fantasy really speaks to me)

Nyneave like "Imma shank you"; Moiraine like the most dramatic bitch

OH DAMN (from context I assume this was the further reveal of Mat's tragic backstory)

So I'll talk more about this later, but the Mat backstory changes all made sense to me in terms of revealing up front what kind of person Mat is and what his motivations are. Immediately, you see Mat identifying with and also protecting children. And when Natti just straight-up savaged Mat with "you're just like your father, a prick", it's immediately providing groundwork for Mat's complicated feelings towards older and/or powerful women. In the books, one of Mat's whole shticks is that he does a lot of self-destructive things to prove to women in power that a) he doesn't care what they think about his choices and b) he will save them from themselves. The books have the leisure to do this slowly and subtly, but ultimately the root causes are the same: Mat chafes against other's expectations and yet also desperately wants their approval, and Mat has suffered trauma at the hands of women and those with power over him.

The show is gonna make me ship Egg/Rand

The show is giving the people what they want, and what they want is beefcake, god bless

None of the ta'veren are virgins and I respect that

"Eeeey it's Voldy" (myrddraal)

Padan Fain looks so fun!

Re: the earlier Wisdom who got sent away from the White Tower... tbh, especially with the emphasis on how much time passed before the Wisdom came back (she walked for months, really?) I suspect Nyneave got an edited version of that story from said Wisdom. It seems much more likely that she was either too weak in the Power to make it as Aes Sedai and they sent her away, or she got kicked out for something else, or some other thing where she did actually spend time in the Tower before going back. It's possible that the White Tower is corrupt in the classist way Nyneave relates, but I'm still holding onto the idea that the WT is corrupt in an ableist academia way. We'll see.

I have thoughts on Mat, master of petty theft, but I will save them for my Mat post!

Have I mentioned that the landscapes are gorgeous?

THE WIIIIIIIIND THE WIND IS HERE IN THE OPENING EPISODE OF THE FIRST SHOW

Oh geez. Dragon's fang of mutton.

Mat will never take your charity! ...without deep embarrassment

"All we can do is the best we can w/ the life that's been given to us" -Tam

Rituals! Tiny lights in the darkness!

"HEARTBREAK" VO as the camera pans to Mat, beautiful

Me: "Ok, but are they really wrong about single dad Mat?"

What is up with Laila? She's got depression vibes.

SHAKY CAM

Nyneave REVERSE YEET

Love how Mat's like "...no alternatives I guess, it's heroism time"

If you kill Mat's sisters we riot at dawn

Padan Fain like "Oh, that's my cue!" as a Trolloc smashes someone

I LOVE NYNEAVE

Dope! Music!

Tam looks too much like Robert Jordan and it's wigging me out

DANCE TIME (I think this is Moiraine and Lan btw)

Deeply respect these ladies [who are stabbing a trolloc with pitchforks]

Me, knowing some things and watching Perrin and Laila smash trollocs together: It was nice knowing you Laila. Big respect

Ok saidar looks dope

Oh NOT THE BRAID HOW DARE

[Deeply surprised noises when Perrin is the one who kills Laila in a battle frenzy] *pause* "Well, ok, now I get why you did it that way."

Moiraine got shanked. (Not by Nyneave)

Damn, girl. Moiraine "Massive Property Damage" Damodred, they call her

Inns on fire count: 1

Mat just wants mommy to love him

White eyes as foretelling vibes?

Moiraine is so pretty when she laughs

Yay Nyn can still track them if she's not leaving with them :)

Perrin looks fucking gutted :(

You're gonna make me ship Rand/Egwene and I don't need that energy in my life! Egg should only like fuckbois

The Four Ta'veren: Single DILF, Friendly Fire, Ex-Boyfriend, Journey (song) Protagonist

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural.  YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!”  because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine.  The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009. 

Which I will be renting soon I guess.  ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?]  ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL 

First date.

They then eat each other.  Literally they eat each others flesh.  They also do it while dirty talking about it.  SPN IS A SHOW 

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day.  The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to 

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine. 

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen.  Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity).  Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need.  It consumes souls (demon and human alike).  

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL 

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins.  Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode.  Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl.  In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN 

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL 

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM 

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL 

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important.  but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL 

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate.  they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex.  they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful.  and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN 

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL 

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat?  He is starving for red meat?  You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?!  No way.  Absolutely no way.  This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup.  Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling.  Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.  

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable.  and it is SUPPOSED to be.  Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited.  For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean.  Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.   

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN 

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM 

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN 

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM 

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again.  sex/lust to gluttony.  hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW -  *takes deep breath*

 this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry.  Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE 

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN 

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE 

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! 

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. 

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. 

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for.  That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious.  It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala.  But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.  

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.  

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh. 

Wanna know the kicker?  

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void​ im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta.  you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

[mal3nko]

“Why wasn’t Life is Strange 2 as popular as the first game?”

A lot of people like myself have wondered what exactly made Life is Strange 2 go so relatively unnoticed compared its predecessor, Life is Strange 1. And when you think about it, you may come up with the few obvious generic answers, such as the lack of Max and Chloe and just the original cast in general. However, I think there was a lot more at play here that prevented Life is Strange 2 from reaching the amount of success/popularity the first game had. So I want to take the time and break down what exactly happened to Life is Strange 2 and the things that hurt the game’s ability to really connect with the audience of LiS1.

Disclaimer: We do NOT know how well Life is Strange 2 was for Dontnod and if it was a success or not. No sales numbers have been given out to the public so there’s no way of knowing for sure how well the game did. What we do know is that LiS2 did not receive the same amount of attention/popularity as the first game. That can’t be denied, it simply didn’t. However, based on the fact that Dontnod have recently announced they are working on six new games at the moment and are now expanding their studio, even if LiS2 was a “flop” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on them (most likely due to the success of Vampyr). Dontnod is going to be fine either way. Another thing I want to mention is that this is not a anti-LiS2 post and that I am a fan of the game. I’d consider myself a pretty big fan actually. I have my problems with the game of course and don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions but I enjoyed the game very much overall. But for the sake of this post I will try to be as unbiased as possible, giving out only what I’ve observed when it comes to reactions from the fandom on different websites and forums. So with that all being said, let’s dive in to this.

Here I will be listing the many different reasons as to why Life is Strange 2 failed to reach the same amount of popularity as LiS1 or even BtS managed to achieve. This list isn’t in any particular order but some reasons are bigger/more important than others.

For some background, there was a lot of hype going into Life is Strange 2. The teaser trailer for it with the cop car trended at #2 on YouTube, a huge feat for the series. It generated immense amount of views and comments in a short period in time, completely surpassing Before the Storm’s announcement trailer in just a few weeks. So what exactly happened to all that hype? Where did everybody go? Well, let’s break everything down.

1. The lack of Max and Chloe: Yes I said that this list wouldn’t be in any particular order in terms of importance but I think it’s obvious this one is one of, if not the biggest reason as to why LiS2 failed to match LiS1’s popularity. When the protagonists Sean and Daniel were first revealed, the reception was pretty divisive. Specifically, a very vocal part of the community were baffled and disappointed at the lack of Max and Chloe present within the trailer and subsequently the game itself. This instantly turned off a lot of people from the game, as they couldn’t connect with the new characters or simply didn’t want to. At that point in the franchise Max and Chloe as well as the original cast from the first game had been the face of the series for almost three years. It’s understandable why it was hard for people to just…move on. To this day people are still asking for Max and Chloe to return. The Life is Strange subreddit is still dominated with Max and Chloe fanart. Whenever the social media accounts for Life is Strange post anything Max and Chloe related it gets way more attention compared to a post about Sean and Daniel. Whenever a post online goes viral about Life is Strange you can bet it’s most likely about Max and Chloe. Hell the only reason why episode 5 of Life is Strange 2 trended on Tumblr was because of the fucking picture of Max and Chloe. On the releas day of episode 5 of LiS2 the top post on the subreddit was the Max and Chloe picture. It was almost as if that one photo of them completely overshadowed the entire episode. Point is, Life is Strange 2 lost a lot of momentum the moment it was revealed Max and Chloe would not be present. Case closed, let’s move on.

2. The release schedule: Words cannot describe how frustrating the release schedule was for LiS2 when it came to it’s episodes. For those reading this who didn’t follow LiS2 until the game was finished, each episode took around 3-4 months to be released. This was because Dontnod bit off a bit more than they could chew with the road trip story in having to create new locations and character models from scratch. The reason why this wasn’t a problem for LiS1 was because Max was for the most part always in the same locations around the same characters (I’m pretty sure you roam around Chloe’s house like 4 times throughout the season), which made development a lot easier since the devs could just reuse a lot of the assets. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible for LiS2 due to the nature of it’s story. The wait times between each episode made a lot of people leave the fandom due to loosing interest or simply forgetting about the game altogether. This also impacted youtubers/streamers as many of them either stopped coming back to play the new episodes or they’d not be as connected as they were in the previous episode due to the amount of time that had passed. One of the reasons why LiS1 gained so much popularity was because of youtubers/streamers and how they would bring in their audience and would pretty much make them fans of the series. With quite a handful of youtubers/streamers quitting LiS2, the game was not able to draw in as much of an audience as previous games did. This is how detreminetal the release schedule was for LiS2.

3. The marketing (or lack thereof): Square Enix really fucked up on this aspect. Due to the ridiculous wait times you would think Square Enix would try and advertise the game heavily when a new episode was about to be released, right? Well they didn’t. Not at all actually. Throughout the games release schedule from September 2018 up to December 2019, I had not seen a single ad for the game. Nothing on YouTube, nothing on reddit or any other websites, it was like Square Enix had completely forgotten about the game’s existence. Now don’t get me wrong, SE did do a few things with LiS2 like starting up the community series on their YouTube channel and also the dev updates that came after episode 1 (that stopped after episode 2 for some reason) but these went relatively unnoticed to people outside of the fandom and did pretty much nothing. I believe SE was trying to wait until the game was fully complete with all of it’s episodes released before actually marketing the game (and they DID start advertising the game after episode 5 came out) but that’s just WAAAY too long to go without any type of advertisement. I understand marketing teams have budgets and what not, but you’re telling me there was no way for SE to market each episode in anyway as they were about to be released? Seems a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

4. The road trip story: I completely understand why Dontnod wanted to branch out and do something different with the story of Life is Strange 2 and I respect them for stepping out of their comfort zones. However, it can’t be denied that the road trip story where characters are cycled in and out as Sean and Daniel make their way to Mexico was a very…questionable decision. Seeing as how LiS1 was loved for it’s world filled with a reoccurring cast of characters that developed as the story went on, it’s really easy to understand why LiS2 was so off-putting for a lot of fans. It was off-putting for me, even. It just…wasn’t fun having to leave these truly interesting characters behind because the plot demanded it. This left a lot of characters feeling underdeveloped to many people and by the time you meet new characters you already know they’re most likely gonna be gone soon anyways, so it made it even harder to connect with them. Couple this with the fact that LiS2 lacked any type of mystery unlike LiS1, speculation and discussion fizzled out a few weeks after each episode was released. LiS1 kept people speculating and wondering about what would happen next, while LiS2 left a lot of people struggling to care.

5. Politics: Yeeeeaaaaah I think I had to put this somewhere on the list. While many of the people who tease and mock how LiS2 handled its political topics were most likely not fans of the series anyway (the type of people who called LiS1 “Life is Tumblr” and hate Chloe), I do think it’s important to realize that some people just don’t want politics in their games, period. I’ve seen people online come out and say that while they agreed with what the writers were saying when it came to the political topics, it overall still came off very forced and one-sided to them, lacking any type of nuance or subtlety. I could write an entire essay discussing if the politics in LiS2 were handled well and whatnot but this is not that post so I’ll just leave it at that.

6: Lack of a prominent female cast/wlw: This is a bit more tricky to talk about (for the record the person writing this is a black gay guy) but I will try and write about this the best way I can. For many women, specifically queer women, Life is Strange was a series they could expect representation from. Max, Chloe, Rachel, and Steph are all popular characters amongst the fandom and even other wlw ships such as Marshfield, Chasefield, Chaseprice, etc are popular. So when LiS2 was revealed to be about two (hispanic) males, the queer women within the community were understandably upset. It felt like DN were simply throwing away the community that for the most part made up the entire fandom. At the time I simply found the situation ridiculous and overblown as many people were dismissing Sean and Daniel as “generic straight males” (even though it turned out Sean was bisexual in the end) before really getting to know them. However, looking back I totally get why people were upset. A lot of the fanart/fanfiction that was made for the LiS series was mostly created by queer women, so when the franchise pretty much stopped giving them representation, they left in search of other media (like She-Ra, which honestly has better wlw rep anyway). LiS2 is also mostly male dominated in terms of its cast, and features no queer women as well, which is really disappointing in my opinion.

7. Price: This one is pretty simple. When Life is Strange 2 was first released the full season costed $40. This was a pretty big jump in comparison to LiS1’s $20 price tag (original price was $25 however) and BtS’s $16. Obviously people would be more skeptical about buying a sequel that is pretty much double the price of its predecessor and has completely new characters. With the pretty mixed reception from gaming communities I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people saw the price and decided to either watch a playthrough or simply not check out the game at all. With the first episode now free the base price has been lowered to around $30-32 I believe so yeah.

8. Daniel Diaz: Some people just don’t like kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people grew easily frustrated with Daniel early on and once he got more irrational and bratty as the story progressed they just stopped playing altogether. Even if you do like kids, or at least don’t mind them like myself, Daniel can still be quite a pain.

9. Not having control of the powers: This one is honestly really disappointing and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. In LiS1 Max had the ability to rewind time and do certain scenarios and conversations over and that basically acted as the more interesting gameplay segments. In LiS2 Sean doesn’t have the power, his brother Daniel does. This leads to the gameplay feeling much more boring and mundane. There are also no interesting puzzles this time around, most likely because Dontnod didn’t know how to implement them without the rewind power so they just…didn’t even attempt to add any. The power itself, telekinesis, is also much less interesting compared to rewinding time, according to a lot of people.

SO YEAH that’s basically it for me. I know this probably came off a bit rambly/incoherent but I tried my best to be as clear as I possibly could. I don’t doubt there are other reasons at play as to why LiS2 failed to meet LiS1’s success (such as liscensed music not being quite as good as LiS1) but I think I hit the main points I believe were key reasons. And the thing is, there isn’t just one main reason why LiS2 didn’t do as well as LiS1. It’s overall very unfortunate so many things went wrong with it that ended up making people lose interest in it. I think the lack of Max and Chloe hurt the game the most right off the bat, but the other reasons just led it to do even worse. Oh well.

I hope any of the people who read this enjoyed it (it was a BITCH to write). I’ve been wanting to get my thoughts down about this for SO long but just never had the motivation/time but I finally did it!

Again, thanks for reading! If you have any disagreements or just thoughts in general don’t be afraid to reply or dm me about it and I’ll be sure to reply! Now back to reblogging Marco posts….

[scone-lover]

Simon Snow’s Guide to the Best Diwali

AKA, all the delicious Diwali food that Simon would love. ❤️ 

Here’s a teaser... 

And the rest is below the cut!

Let’s start off with an overview of Diwali! (Pronounced Di-VAH-lee.) Celebrated on the night of the new moon, usually in late October or early November, Diwali is the festival of lights and a commemoration of the triumph of good over evil. During this holiday, people decorate their houses with festive colors, light hundreds of candles and oil lamps, and set off firecrackers into the night. It is the largest and most widely celebrated holiday in India, with a variety of colorful customs.

Rangoli are colorful designs crafted at the entrance of homes to welcome the goddess of prosperity, Lakshmi, and usher in the New Year. Rangoli features in my zine fic for Let it Snow!

Diwali has its origins in Hindu mythology with the story of the Ramayana. Rama (Rahm) was a great king and warrior who completed a hero’s journey and returned home after a 14 year exile. However, there was no moon that night, so the villagers set out thousands oil lamps to light the path home. 

Diwali is celebrated over 5 days; Diwali itself is the 3rd day, and the 4th is the Hindu New Year! Read more about Diwali here.

Alright, now for the fun part.

Simon Snow would love Diwali because one of the core traditions is exchanging food and sweets as gifts with your family and friends. Every year, we spend a few days making mithai (milk sweets) or baked goods, and then it’s like the world’s best secret santa. We receive platters of assorted sweets and savories throughout the entire week leading up to Diwali! 

Let’s start with the sweets. The main desserts eaten during Diwali are mithai, various milk sweets that usually include gram (chickpea) flour and nuts or coconut. They are vibrantly colored and usually arranged beautifully on platters! There is a huge variety—here are some examples of arrangements.

Most are simply a combination of condensed or powdered milk, sugar, and gram flour or nut flour. In addition, they’re flavored and adorned with ingredients like rosewater, cardamom, saffron, and even pounded silver. 

Here are some of the more popular types!

Kaju Katli: Cashew mithai, always cut in diamond shapes, and topped with real thin-pounded silver. A classic!

Ladoo: Chickpea flour or semolina condensed milk sweets, rolled into balls. They’re amazing, and the texture is unrivaled. Chickpea flour is fine and gritty, so it’s like biting into a ball of kinetic sand... but actually edible. When I was a kid, we used to make ladoos with coconut and use food coloring to make the Indian flag! Here’s the mix we received this year from a friend:

Barfi: Milk squares that can be made with various flavorings, like coconut, almonds, walnut, etc. So soft. So delicious. Sometimes they’re bright pink.

Soan Papdi: chickpea flour squares that flake away in strands when you bite into them, like if you condensed candy floss into a bar. 

Peda: I don’t even know what’s in these, they’re just fucking delicious. 

Alright, onto the other sweets!

My personal favorite: gulab jamun. Soft, perfectly round dumplings made of like, magic. Basically. They’re sweet, fried, flavored with cardamom, soaked in a sweet rosewater syrup, and served warm. If you haven’t tried these, you’re missing out—Indian grocery stores, and certainly some normal ones, sell them in big cans and you can heat them up on the stove. 

Rasmalai: my other favorite. I don’t know how to describe these—happy spongy dumpling disks served cold in a sauce that’s basically ice cream, but better. Pistachios, delicate rosewater, and sweet creaminess. It’s basically heaven.

Two photos, because they’re that good. (These are definitely Baz’s favorite, by the way.) 

Jalebi: Essentially, batter is piped into pretzel shapes, like how you make a funnel cake, and then fried, and then soaked in sugar syrup. You bite into it with a satisfying crunch, and then the syrup floods out and it becomes chewy. It’s a dentist’s worst nightmare. I mean, look at this shit:

Who even came up with this? I don’t care, I love it. Tis the season for tooth rotting.

Kheer: Indian rice pudding... or sometimes it’s made with vermicelli. With almonds, and saffron, and... agh. I dream about it.  

Last but certainly not least, gajar ka halva. 

This stuff could build a cult following if it wanted to, I swear. It’s like if carrot cake one day said fuck it and stopped pretending it was healthy. It’s ground carrots, sugar, ghee, milk pistachios... so good. 

I almost posted this without even going over the savory foods. Who even needs them? 

...Okay, fine. 

Diwali food is traditionally vegetarian, and it’s pretty standard fare: naan, rice, samosas, daal, paneer makhani, etc. The appetizers are top notch. It’s literally all fried.

That spiral thing is a chakli, jalebi’s savory friend. Just... a fried spiral. Various crispy things are eaten. It’s great.

Brb, might actually cry from how hungry I am right now. 

Simon would love aloo tikki, a north Indian specialty... imo, the best way to make potatoes.

Pakoras, too: mixed vegetable fritters served with chutney.

Pani Puri/Golgappa: The best street food. You take a baby puri shell. Crack the top. Fill it with a spicy potato mix, and then add mouthwatering tamarind sauce.

Paneer Makhani (butter paneer) would be Simon’s favorite veg dish. Soft cheese in butter sauce... sounds right up his alley. 😂 

There are a ton of other different dishes made with various vegetables and sauces and spices, like four types of daal, and if I continue this will go on for ages. So I’ll just do a special shoutout to chicken tikka masala, the national dish of the UK lol. ❤️ 

Shoutout to Penelope Bunce as well for being half-Indian and thereby giving me a totally valid reason to write a thousand-word rant about Indian food on Tumblr and claim it’s fandom. Shoutout also to Simon Snow for his canonical love of Indian food. 😂 

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed, found this educational, and most of all... I hope you’re really hungry now. 😂 Go eat some Indian food to celebrate. I know you want to. 

Happy Diwali, everyone! ❤️❤️❤️ 

[gukieoppa]

not again | pt.1

➢ summary: he wanted a challenge, a good, innocent fuck, so why did his heart race at the sight of her?

➢ genre: romance, following angst and fluff, (as of now) no nsfw planned, college au

➢ pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x reader

➢ warnings: cursing, fluff, mentions of sex, body image insecurities

➢ note: i did this instead of homework and paying attention to class lmao. also it’s only 1.55k so i’m sorry if you wanted a longer chapter but expect short chapters from me because i’m not an excellent writer. i also decided to post this today because i’m going on trip to the beach for three days and i don’t know when i’ll have time to write. oof.

← teaser & pt.2 →

◇ ◇ ◇

Ever since you met Jeon Jungkook, you couldn’t get him out of your mind. His face was the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes. You finally understood why he was so popular, but that didn’t mean you would associate yourself with him even further. 

Truthfully, you didn’t go to the library after you talked to Jungkook. You went straight back to your dorm, catching a glimpse of his figure as you walked to the building. His figure, though, wasn’t alone. A silhouette of, what you assumed to be, a girl was beside him, their lips locked. You grunted and felt sickened by the sight, reminding yourself that it was better to have distance.

Jungkook, on the other hand, wanted to get closer to you, but he was afraid. Evidently by his title, he didn’t do relationships, but when it came to you, he felt something different: a feeling of need and possessiveness. That was why, when you were out of his sight, he pulled the closest girl who was ogling him to the nearest bathroom.

A good fuck was the only thing Jungkook felt he could cope with.

◇ ◇ ◇

Park Hyejin: you loved to hate her. She was your dorm mate, best friend, and so-called stylist. She’d always wanted to major in fashion, but her parents never allowed her, saying it wasn’t a stable job choice. That led her into the business major and to meeting you. 

◇ ◇ ◇

You saw a brunette sitting on a bench, crying her eyes out. Seeing as you had just had a pretty shitty day as well, you approached her.

“Sky looks nice,” you commented, standing beside the bench with your arms crossed.

The sky was plain. Nothing but smooth, grey clouds filled the sky. Though the sky itself was dull, the red and orange leaves made up for it. The autumn leaves desperately hung onto the tree branches, some blown off at the slightest breeze. 

You heard the girl let out a choked laugh, “Sure does.”

“Bad day?” You asked, looking over at her. She nodded, her brunette hair bouncing at the movement.

She wore a cream, knit cardigan atop of a black mock neck that was tucked into a brown, plaid, pleated skirt. Her shoes were basic combat boots, but they finished the outfit with a punch. 

“Aren’t you a little overdressed to be sulking on campus?” You teased, seeing as you were only in an oversized hoodie and sweats.

She let out a quiet sigh, “I guess, but what better way to display my fashion if I can’t pursue it?”

“May I give some feedback on the outfit?” You asked, feeling as if her outfit was missing a piece.

The girl sat up, improving her posture, “Please do.”

Your hand rested on your hip, “Though the overall outfit is gorgeous and much better than I could ever put together, I feel like there’s something missing.” Your finger rested on your chin as you thought. Then, it came to you, “A hat! Yes, that’s what's missing. Specifically, a beige beret. If you don’t like hats, though, you could put in those long hair clips things on the side of your head. Know what I mean?”

She perked up at your suggestion, “That’s actually a great idea! Are you secretly into fashion?”

That made you laugh.

“If I were into fashion, I wouldn’t wear the same pair of sweats every other day,” she grimaced in disgust.

“I should style you, then,” she smiled.

“I’ll have to think about it,” you suddenly realized that the pair of you hadn’t properly introduced yourselves. “By the way, I’m Y/N L/N. You are?”

“Park Hyejin,” she smiled and stuck out her hand for you to shake. You shook her hand, a warm smile on both of your faces.

◇ ◇ ◇

“You talked to Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?” She laughed loudly.

“Yes, I talked to him, but he approached me first,” you frowned at the girl you called your best friend.

“Doesn’t matter! You still talked to him,” she smirked, “So, how was it? Talking to the Jungkook?”

“Quite boring, not going to lie. We just made small talk, and, I kid you not, after talking for about five minutes, he suddenly said that he needed to leave,” you said, an unimpressed look plastered onto your face.

“Only five minutes? You must’ve been boring,” she snorted. 

You glared at her, “Me? Boring? Never, but I did see him devouring some girl’s face when I was coming back to the dorms.”

“Damn, he moves fast,” the two of you shared a mutual laugh.

◇ ◇ ◇

Jungkook was already on his third bottle of beer when Jimin burst into the house, whining about the lack of sex he had because of homework.

Park Jimin was one of Jungkook’s closest friends, apart from Kim Taehyung. Jimin also enjoyed one night stands, but he never went to the extent of Jungkook. Instead of spending every Friday night partying and getting drunk off his ass, Jimin would occasionally spend his time at the dance studio practicing. 

“Just pick up a random girl,” Jungkook slurred.

Jimin looked over at his intoxicated friend, “Drinking already? What happened?”

Jungkook let out a sarcastic laugh, “What do you mean? Can’t I drink when I want?”

“Alright, so this isn’t about that girl I saw you talking to this afternoon,” Jungkook’s head snapped over to look at the ash grey haired man.

“What?” The brunette seethed.

“Haven’t seen you talk to a girl like that in a while,” Jimin sighed, “What’s up? You know you can tell me.”

“Just leave me alone, hyung,” Jungkook groaned.

“She'll be good for you,” Jimin whispered before leaving the maknae to himself.

◇ ◇ ◇

“Taehyung,” you shouted, jogging over to your friend and study buddy. You hopped onto his back, arms wrapping around his torso, eliciting an “oof” from him.

“Y/N/N,” he looked over his shoulder to smile at you.

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” you pouted.

“We literally saw each other like 5 days ago,” he said in disbelief.

“That’s 5 days too long.”

You hopped off of the blonde’s back and walked in front of him, “Hyejin dressed me up again,” he let out a small laugh, “Hey! What do you think? The outfit itself is gorgeous, but on me, it looks like, well, it just looks bad. I feel like I’m a walking potato.”

You were very self-conscious about your body, seeing as your best friend had the body of a model. It wasn’t that you didn’t go to the gym and work hard to have your desired body, it was that your expectations became harder to achieve as each day passed. 

“If you’re a walking potato, then what are the other girls? Moving trash cans?”

You gasped and slapped his arm, “You can’t say that! That’s rude.”

“I’m only speaking the truth,” he huffed, “I can’t deny it. You look fucking hot in that outfit,” he bit his lip and let his eyes roam your body.

“Ey! Eyes up here, buddy,” you slapped the side of his head lightly, earning a chuckle from him. “But seriously, are you sure I don’t look fat?”

“Y/N/N, you’re not fat. You’re gorgeous on the inside and out. I’m being completely honest right now,” you looked at your feet, “You need to treat yourself better. You don’t see all the jealous glares girls send your way because you always take the breath away from other guys.”

You gave him a weak smile, “Thanks, Tae. Love you.”

“Love you, too, princess,” he teased.

Laughing and shaking your head, you grab his arm, “Do you have time to help me study tonight?”

“Study?” He smirked, “What kind of studying are you talking about?”

You gagged and pushed him away, “Never mind! I can study on my own.”

“No, wait! Come back, babe,” he chased after you as you ran away from him.

“Be gone,” you say as you get into a fighting stance.

Then in perfect sync, you both yell, “Thot!”

◇ ◇ ◇

Hand in hand, you and Taehyung approached the double story home. 

“Fair warning, it might be messy on the inside,” Taehyung spoke up.

“You live here?” You asked, flabbergasted.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “But I have two roommates who, by the way, are my best friends. They’re almost always horny, though.”

“Aren’t you always horny?” You smirked.

“Would you like to find out?” He winked, nudging your shoulder with his.

Your nose scrunched in disgust, “Gross,” he laughed, “We have work to do and not a lot of time, so let’s get it!”

You skipped over to the door, waiting for your friend to unlock the door for you. When he reached where you were, he pulled the door open without unlocking it.

“You don’t lock the door? That’s so stupid,” you scolded him.

“Oh hush. My roommates are probably home already,” he spoke as he walked into the house.

The smell of beer stung your nose, and you winced in disgust. You looked around for the source of the odor to find bottles of finished beer sitting on a table. Beside that table, though, was the culprit responsible for the placing of the empty bottles.

[julemmaes]

Pinky Promise - Chapter Five

A/N: I want to dedicate this chapter to @queenestarcheron whose comments literally give me life and the main reason I’m writing this story basically. I’m sorry for this chapter and I really feel like this is just the start where everything goes bad and then bad and then bad and uuugh I’m sorry

I wrote this whole chapter listening to Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic and idk, if you like to hurt like I do I’ll advice you read it with the song on repeat;)

Fic masterlist

Word count: 5,659

Nesta had only been awake for ten minutes and already felt all the fatigue that Monday would bestow upon her. She was staring at the ceiling counting the seconds until she had to get up and get ready to go to work and when the phone started vibrating for the third time that morning, Nesta huffed and went to the bathroom.

The headache was completely gone and it seemed as if she hadn't gone through all the pain that had caused her to be unable to walk last night. She just hoped that it wouldn't come back to haunt her, because the idea of being as vulnerable in front of everyone again as she had shown herself the night before at such a delicate moment in her life gave her goosebumps.

Elain had left her some kind of medicine on the kitchen table with a yellow post-it on top of it said 'I hope you're feeling better. I bought them for you, so put them in your purse before you go out.' with two little hearts drawn around an elegant E.

She was trying not to make too much noise to wake her sisters when she heard a grunt coming from the living room. She froze with the kettle in her hand and arched her eyebrows, walking slowly towards the sofa.

There, lying without restraint on the cushions, was Cassian. He was wearing one of his pyjamas that he kept in the apartment and held one of the pillows that she always used to his chest. He kept his neck bent in a uncomfortable position and she knew that she should have moved his head to avoid him a despicable stiff neck, but even the risk that he might wake up and hover over her, following her all over the kitchen as if she could collapse at any moment prevented her from feeling pity for the man.

She remained to look at him for a moment too long, hand on her hip and the desire to put her lips on his rosy and fleshy ones.

If she lingered too much, she would not be able to leave the house.

Closing the kitchen door behind her, she had breakfast quietly, preparing some cold rice and leaving three equally full containers for the others. Elain would work all day, Feyre would have classes overlapping and she would not be able to find a minute to eat, forgetting all about it, and Cassian would be on shift at the bar and would end up eating the first thing that came his way and he already ate enough leftovers from his customers to pass up a fried meal for once.

She passed in front of the living room and opened the door with her bag on her shoulder. She looked at the sofa and could only see Cassian's toes and puffed, irritated with herself. She quickly laid the stuff on the floor and approached him, taking his head in her hands and arranging it in such a way that he wouldn't be paralyzed by the pain as soon as he woke up.

Cassian moved grimacing and put his head back in the previous position. Nesta frowned, "Why don't you ever do what I fucking tell you? Not even in your sleep," she whispered slowly.

***

"Nesta?" Clare seemed shocked to see her come in through the back door, "What on earth are you doing here?"

Nesta looked around, genuinely confused by what was happening, "It's Monday, isn't it?" then slumped, groaning, "Oh god, did I get the days wrong again?"

Clare shook her head, "No, no, it's Monday and you're on time," she said as she approached her. Nesta sighed. "Only, Cassian sent me a message late last night saying that you were really very sick and that you wouldn't be able to make it," she explained, smiling at her.

She probably thought it was sweet and nice that her centenarian boyfriend took such good care of her that he felt compelled to call her work and take the day off.

Sometimes she was amazed at how much Cassian didn't seem to know her at all.

Then she closed her eyes, thinking how wrong what she had just said was.

No one knew her better than he did, and if he had called his boss to take the day off it meant that she had been really sick the night before.

She shook her head, taking one hand to her forehead, "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine."

From behind one of the shelves, Emerie appeared with a mountain of books in her arms. As soon as she saw her, she wrinkled her forehead, "You look like shit," she said to her as a greeting, still continuing to place the new arrivals on the shelves, "Shouldn't you be at home resting?"

"Did he text everyone?" Nesta asked, opening her arms wide.

Clare shook her head no, "No, but he sent me a very long message and sounded very worried," she shrugged, "I thought it was something serious. I would have sent you a message mid-morning, I didn't want to risk waking you."

Emerie agreed with her, going back to the other room to get more books.

"It's all a mess and he shouldn't have sent you any messages," sighed Nesta, walking towards the staff room and raising her voice a little, "It's been a very long week and I have to tell you many things, if we don't have too many customers I can do it even before lunch."

Emerie appeared almost running into the little room where they took their lunch breaks and where they rested when people were not too numerous. Her eyes were wide open and there was an amused glint there, "I can't believe it," she snorted, "The longest lasting couple in history fought."

Nesta glanced at her, but said nothing. Emerie smirked.

"Wait Nes!" they heard Clare screaming, who arrived with a box that must have weighed more than her. Emerie raised an eyebrow and Clare looked at her frowning, "I couldn't hear what she was saying...".

Nesta snickered, "Don't worry, you were just missing Em fucking with me."

Clare walked up to the middle of the room, placed the box on the table and started to open it, "So?" she spurred her to speak.

"It's a really long story and knowing you, you wouldn't survive if we were interrupted halfway through the story." Nesta seemed hesitant and the two girls exchanged a quick and confused look.

Emerie stepped forward, "How serious is this?"

Nesta looked her in the eye for a few seconds, "A I-don't-know-if-we're-still-together kind of serious." she nodded, reducing her lips to a thin line.

"Holy shit." whispered Clare.

Emerie opened her eyes wider and suddenly became serious, "Did he cheat on you?" she didn't even give her time to answer, "Because if he cheated on you I'll take a day off and go kill him."

Nesta chuckled, despite everything, "He didn't-" then stopped, thinking that what he had done had been a betrayal anyway. She shook her head.

"That's a start and I can cross the killing off my list," said the friend, offering her a half smile.

Clare seemed as shocked as Amren when she had told her that Cassian wanted to enlist. Nesta felt sick at the idea of having to ruin her day with such sad information and regretted a bit that she had introduced the topic.

Emerie clapped her hands, waking everyone up from that trance they were stuck in, "As much as I love teasers and all that crap there, if you're not going to tell us now we'd better get back to work, because in-" she looked at the clock on the wall, whimpering, "sixteen minutes we have to open and we won't have even a spare second to sort out the last releases."

"Shit," said Nesta all of a sudden, "it's the 12th, isn't it?"

Emerie nodded, completely knocked down by the information.

"I'd say it's time to get to work," murmured Clare.

Without saying a word, they all walked towards the "fantasy young adult" section. They marched as if it was their last hour and were about to be hanged in the square. And it actually was a little bit so, because the last book of the most acclaimed saga would be released and none of the three were ready psychologically to welcome the hordes of people who would enter the store that day.

Clare had thrown worried looks her way all morning and Emerie hadn't offended her more than twice, which was weird, because she never missed an opportunity to toss them insults or make puns.

This was bothering Nesta.

Her mood had even worsened when around noon, Cassian had called and then sent her a message when she had not answered:

"Are you completely insane? Where are you?"

Those words had made her arms itch with anger.

"If you're at work, stay there, I'll pick you up and take you home."

And then again:

"What made you think going out when you were practically dying in pain last night was a good idea? You need to rest and let your body recover."

To that, Nesta had apologized to the client she was serving and sent a quick response:

"Don't you dare come and get me or I swear to god Cassian this is the time I'm going to get seriously mad. I don't want to fight about this too. I woke up, I was fine, I went out. Period."

When he hadn't replied, Nesta had sent another message:

"I need a distraction and I need the money. Don't come."

Cassian sent her a simple, "Alright, sorry. See you." and she went back to work.

She hadn't failed to notice, however, that he hadn't written his usual love you at the end of the message.

Now, Emerie was looking at her with fiery eyes and Clare had stopped eating, one hand in front of her wide open mouth.

"Are you joking?" Emerie seethed with rage.

Nesta shook her head, sighing, "The worst thing is that I can't reason with him."

Clare placed the cutlery in the plastic container, "And his brothers? Az?"

Her colleagues had met the magnificent trio when she had started working at Clare's mother's bookshop soon after her father's death. They needed money and both she and Elain had found a job almost immediately, Elain in a small diner on the same street as their apartment and Nesta in that magical place. Cassian and Azriel used to pass by practically every day she worked to bring her food - considering how many times she forgot to take care of herself because of the mess that was her life - and it didn't take Clare and Emerie more than half a second to realize that there might be something between her and the younger of the two boys. They had had the opportunity to get to know the others in the group during the various birthdays and parties, but they had never had a very close relationship with Rhysand. Probably because she herself had never gotten beyond seeing him as her boyfriend's brother.

Looking at her two best friends at that moment, she realized that whatever she decided to do with Cassian, they would support her, because they were there when it had all started and they would be there when it would end. Whether it was in two days or seventy years.

"Azriel knew it and didn't tell me anything for a month." Nesta confessed, picking at her nails.

Emerie snorted, "That fucker."

"I said the same thing," smiled Nesta, "but he was actually only respecting what Cass demanded and it's not his fault my boyfriend is dumb."

"This may be a low blow, but have you tried calling his mother?" asked Clare, looking more and more upset.

Nesta tilted her head to the side, "I don't know if she knows..." she rubbed her hands on her arms, trying to whip off some of the frost in the room, "And I don't want to be the cause of the heart attack she's going to have in case she doesn't know and I barge into her living room saying 'Hey, help me convince your son not to enlist'."

"Then you really should go and tell her everything," said Emerie, leaning forward on the table, "If she really doesn't know, she might be so shocked that she reacts so strongly and convinces Cassian to give up."

Clare looked at her with her mouth open, "What are you talking about, you pshyco." she muttered.

Nesta nodded, "Yeah, the fuck. I'm not trying to kill Vera."

Emerie seemed offended, "I'm just saying that if she has an excessive reaction-"

"Which would not be excessive for such a thing." mumbled Clare.

"-you might not have to do anything and leave it to the woman to beat him."

Emerie seemed offended, "I'm just saying that if she has an excessive reaction-"

"Which would not be excessive for such a thing." mumbled Clare.

"-you might not have to do anything and leave it to the woman to thrash him."

Nesta stood up, shaking her head and throwing the lunch papers, "No, I'm not going to betray him like that."

Clare was still looking at Emerie as if she had four heads, "Who hurt you?" she whispered, "Like, that's the sickest thing I've ever heard in my life."

Emerie's features softened as always when she addressed their boss, "Right? That's sick!" she exclaimed smiling.

"I didn't mean it like that," said Clare, "I meant that that's literally the best way to completely ruin things with your partner." then she turned to Nesta, "Please don't go to Vera."

Nesta raised a hand, "That was absolutely not my intention." she said, "And what's more, this is still fresh between me and him and we haven't really talked about anything yet," she said.

Emerie interrupted her, "Well, actually you've been fooled with the whole enlistment process explaining. That's the last thing you should have done."

Nesta frowned, "What do you mean?"

"He's probably thinking you've already accepted it. If you only asked about the first part, that means you can discuss the rest later, once he's finished training."

Clare grimaced, "It shouldn't be like this though. And I don't think Cassian thinks Nesta accepted."

Emerie reached out to the girl, touching her arm with a knowing smirk on her lips, "I've read enough romance novels to know the situation is worse than it seems.

Nesta would normally be annoyed that the people in the room were talking about her and their lives as if she wasn't there, but she seriously needed an outside view of all that mess.

"This isn't one of your books, we're talking about Nesta's life," Clare pointed out to her, looking slightly annoyed.

"Fiction mimics reality." she shrugged, then turned to Nesta, "I'm just saying that before talking about what he's going to have to do specifically to get in, you had to discuss what it will all involve." Emerie stared her in the eye, more serious than ever, "The problem Nesta, it's not the present, it's not the fact that he will have to run and eat well for the next two months and that he will have to stay out for two days to do tests on tests. I'm sure you don't give a damn about all the acronyms of names either," said the friend getting up, "The problem will be that you will have to stay months, years, away, when you have been inseparable in the last ten. I don't remember a time when you have been apart for more than three days".

Clare nodded and Nesta' head was starting to hurt.

"You got sick because you spent two days without him while you were thinking about whether or not to leave him. You got sick from the stress." the girl pointed out to her, "And tell me, who took you home? Who took care of you?" she asked, "I'm not trying to hurt you or fight with you, but with everything that's going on right now, you need to sit down and write a list of things you're going to have to start doing on your own. Before he leaves."

Clare squinted, "Em, maybe we should stop-"

"Not because you are not capable or because you are not independent, Nes. We all know very well how strong you are, but there are things, there are daily habits that will have to change completely."

Nesta knew that.

But there were so many things to discuss. So many aspects to see together with Cassian.

She felt a lump in her throat. Emerie had always been cheeky with her and she knew that she was doing it for her own good, that she would tell her everything that any other person was too shy to admit. Or that they took for granted.

But for Nesta at that moment, nothing was taken for granted and she couldn't think of anything.

"And even though he keeps saying it's not a suicide mission, he doesn't know. He can't afford to say things like 'I won't die', 'I'll come back safely, 'nothing will change'.  Because it's just bullshit and you can't let him think that," concluded Emerie.

She just wanted to cry. And scream.

"It's difficult." Nesta sighed trembling.

Clare stood up at that point, going over to her and putting her hand on her arm and giving Emerie a stern look. She took a deep breath, "I know, I realize it's not easy, and that's why you have to talk. That's why you can't leave discussions halfway open and not pick them up the next time. If you do that, you convince him that that topic is closed and that you accept it as such."

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek and, ironically, the conversation ended there.

They remained silent for the rest of the lunch break and then Nesta said goodbye to them, having to go to class.

She had not even left the bookstore, that she had already dialed Cassian's number on the phone. It only took two rings before he picked up.

"Hey, sweetheart," he trilled, "everything okay?"

Nesta gritted her teeth, feeling the tears swell in her eyes. She heard Cassian moving on the other side of the phone, "Nes, are you alright?" he sounded worried by the tone of his voice. She closed her eyes, stopping next to her car. She couldn't speak.

"I'm probably talking to myself, but babyy!" he yelled into the microphone, making her flinch. He sighed deeply, and Nesta imagined him as he settled back into bed to rest a few minutes before he went to work too.

The sound of the call ending set her off and with frantic movements she managed to open the car and get into it, driving towards the university. She received a message just as she started driving and didn't allow herself to check what he had written until she was in front of the engineering building.

The text read "Baby did you buttdial me or couldn't I hear you? Anyway, call me if you need anything, love you."

She was about to lose her whole life and heart, wasn't she?

"Buttdialed you. I need to talk to you."

She didn't even had to wait for a reply, the three dots already there the second she pushed 'send'.

"Tomorrow?"

Nesta did not answer, not knowing whether seeing him the next day would be a blessing or a condemnation and thought. And thought.

And thought.

She thought during class and while walking from one lesson to the next.

Was she the one who was in the wrong?

Was Feyre right? Maybe she should have let Cassian's career take its course.

Maybe their relationship didn't start to last. Maybe Nesta would have found someone else.

She parked her car in front of her apartment, seeing that the kitchen lights were on, while the Spacecraft Structures and Mechanisms lesson was playing out in her head.

She dropped her head against the steering wheel, trying to swallow the emotion and not to burst into tears.Couldn't he have waited for her to get her master's degree before dumping this into their lives? She could have handled it much more easily if she hadn't also had the stress of exams. Or maybe not.

The phone rang and Nesta almost screamed for the scare. She grabbed it and saw that it was Feyre and wrinkled her forehead, looking up at the window on the second floor. She saw both sisters looking at her laughing and felt that some of the heaviness she had gathered during the day eased up. She smiled at them, refusing the call and getting out of the car.

The second she entered the home, she was enveloped by the warmth of the small apartment and the smell of what she knew very well was their mother's old macaroni and cheese recipe.

Feyre arrived running in front of her, followed by a festive Elain who appeared shortly afterwards. They were both smiling as if it was Christmas morning and she relaxed even more.

"Are you okay?" asked the little one. She knew it wasn't worry, what she heard in her voice, more the desire to know how her day had gone and Nesta nodded, yawning.

Elain flapped her hands in excitement, "Can we eat now?

She grinned, taking off her jacket and shoes, "I'm going to put on my pajamas, you start without me."

Feyre squeaked with happiness and ran to the kitchen and Nesta was relieved to see her so relaxed. Monday had a completely exhilarating effect on her little sister. Feyre basically only had labs that day and could get completely lost in painting for hours and hours and it was forbidden to use phones in art classrooms, so she wasn't really distracted by calls or messages.

She heard Elain speak loudly and warned her that she had to tell what she had missed the night before at Mor's. When she returned to the kitchen, she sat down and smiled at everything she was told, commenting on each thing with the right calculated expressions and perfect exclamations when needed, but she felt empty, numb.

She went to bed early, saying that she still had to recover from the headache the day before, but when she woke up the next morning, she did not feel better. She didn't feel anything at all.

The conversation she had had with Emerie had upset her and she could not understand why. Her friend hadn't told her anything she didn't already know.

She felt like she was just going through the motions, studying all morning and memorizing stuff on her books and manuals and when she had to leave home after lunch to go to work, she didn't even know who she was anymore.

Tuesday was Emerie's day off thankfully, and at the bookstore was just her, Clare and Matthew, one of the students who, like her, needed some money to get away from home and a temporary job. He and Carlos had been working in the store for so few weeks that Nesta didn't even know their last names and was surprised to be able to remember the boy's name.

Clare had asked her how she felt several times and Nesta had not answered, not even able to speak without risking breaking down completely.

***

"Cassian." murmured Nesta, lying on the sofa, wrapped in a wool blanket. Turning the fabric in her hands she almost smiled, remembering the Christmas when Vera had gifted it to her, "Where are you?"

"I didn't know if you'd want me and I stayed home, but I'll be there in five minutes if you-"

"I need you," she said in an even smaller voice. They were used to spending Tuesday nights at her house watching a movie and when she came home and hadn't found him, there had been a moment of panic when she assumed something bad had happened.

Cassian moved on the other side of the phone, "Nes, I-" he stopped, "I know this is not a good time and there are a lot of things that are upsetting you about this whole situation, but," he took a deep breath and Nesta closed her eyes, resting her head on the armrest of the sofa, "I can feel that you are unwell for other reasons and it hurts me not to be able to do anything about it, so I offer you one thing," he said in a serious voice.

"I just need you here." whispered Nesta, more exhausted than ever, "I'm tired and I'm angry and I need my boyfriend, you don't have to offer me anything, Cass, I just need you to come here and pretend that everything is about to change." Nesta's words broke at the end and she swore faintly, cursing herself for being so compliant when it came to Cassian.

"My offer was the same." he pointed out, "Do you want me to stay on the phone while I come?" he asked her. She heard the sound of keys and a door being slammed and was relieved to learn that he would arrive in less than twenty minutes.

She shook her head, "No, I don't want you on the phone while you're driving, you know it."

"Yeah, I know," he chuckled, "Alright, see you in less than the blink of an eye."

She smiled and the second the call ended, she regretted not accepting his proposal to stay and talk.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes, Cassian was kneeling in front of her and was looking at her with a grieving expression on his face and a half smile on his lips. He reached out to her and caressed her cheek, making her breath catch in her throat.

"Hi, sweetheart." he murmured to her.

With strength she didn't know she had, she managed to pull out, "How can you do this?" she asked so quietly that she wasn't sure she had spoken either, "How can you act as if nothing is happening?"

She knew that she wasn't being fair, she knew that she had asked him to come over there and pretend that everything was normal, but the second he saw his eyes, something inside her broke even more.

"Doesn't it weigh on you, at all, that I'm so upset? That I can't think straight and that I feel so numb sometimes that I can't even recognize the reflection in the mirror? My thoughts? And not even a week has gone by." her eyes filled with tears and the smile on his lips was gone, "Because I miss you, Cassian, and-" she sobbed, pushing her face against his hand, "and I love you and I don't want to lose you and everything you're doing now makes me think it's not like that for you. That you don't want me back, that you don't want a life with me."

Cassian stood up, holding out a hand that she didn't hesitate to grab, she sat up and he stood next to her, looking her in the eyes, "Nesta I love you, you are the reason I wake up in the morning." his chin trembled as much as her body, shaken by the crying, "And the fact that you are suffering because of me makes me feel so bad that I can't breathe sometimes, I feel like I could die. And there isn't a day that I don't wake up and think about how much I want an eternal life with you." a lonely tear slipped over his face and Nesta sobbed, her face twisting in a grimace of pain. Cassian put both hands on her face, pushing his forehead against hers, "And I miss you so much. I haven't kissed you in a week and it's like a piece of me is dead."

Nesta tried to speak, but it was difficult in the midst of the sobbing, "And- and how do you think we..." a sound of pain scratched her way up her throat and Cassian wrapped her in his arms, pulling her closer so that she was sitting on his legs. She put her head to his chest, clutching his shirt with her fingers, "How do you think we will be able to go weeks, months, years without seeing each other, without being able to touch the other, if even a week has led to this?" she said exasperated.

Cassian passed a hand over her hair, kissing her temple, "I can't stay here."

Nesta violently detached herself from him, "Why?!"

He didn't answer, he just looked at her, with shiny eyes and a contracted jaw, and she burst into tears even more loudly, "I need you here!"

"I know."

"You need to stay," she shouted.

"I can't," he sighed trembling, "Don't-"

"Yes, yes, you can!" she said, looking at him with exasperation, "You can!"

Cassian nodded once, "Then I don't want to."

Those five words were like a punch to the stomach and dampened her breath. She got up from the couch, from him, and carried a hand to her throat and as if there had been a tap, a switch, the tears stopped flowing, and the pain became such that it no longer existed and for a second, a miserable and useless second, Nesta thought she had found the answer.

She was about to speak, she was about to tell him.

To leave. To never come back.

To stop loving her.

And yet, when she opened her mouth, something completely different came out, "I'm tired." she whispered, completely drained from any emotion. Cassian remained motionless and Nesta's body did not respond as it had always done, it did not react.

Cassian reached out his hand to her, "Come here," he begged her.

He didn't have to repeat it a second time that she was straddling his lap. She bent forward and closed her eyes, breathing his scent, placing a hand on his chest, right above his heart and feeling it beating. When she looked at him, his eyes were black with emotion and darting on her face.

Nesta's mind was screaming.

"I love you." she murmured, staring into his eyes and then, she pressed her lips against his and the sound that burst out of Cassian's chest was devastating. Earth-shuttering as they closed their eyes as they breathed from each other's mouths, while a week of repressed quarrels and rages and pains inflicted by the other were poured into that kiss.

His movements became more frenzied as his hands slid to her hips and pushed her against him and Nesta moaned, or sobbed. She felt the moment when every sorrow, every ache and hope, every memory, broke the surface and the numbness that had accompanied her in the last two days exploded and she began to lose herself.

She felt like she was falling into emptiness and had to break away from Cassian, starting to breathe frantically. Too fast.

Cassian cradled her face, his expression worried expression, "What is it?"

Nesta looked at him with her eyes wide open.

She looked at the wrinkled skin on his forehead and the way his eyebrows were expressive enough to give away any emotion he felt. She looked at his nose, following its contours and at his lips, swollen and red and shiny, moving as he spoke and touched his hair, long and dark and soft and so familiar to the touch.

She was still falling into that void and felt that she was about to lose control over everything. She saw every laugh and every moment of happiness leave her body. She saw every smile that had been aimed at her. She saw the love of her parents and the devastation her father had gone through when her mother had left them. She saw Azriel's smile the first time they spoke and saw the young Feyre and Elain running around in the garden of their childhood home.

It was all slipping through her hands and she was screaming and couldn't grasp any of those memories. She couldn't.

She saw Cassian kneeling in front of her. She saw him smiling with watery eyes as he walked down the aisle and saw him crying as he held a blue puff to his chest.

Everything was slipping away.

"Look at me!"

And Nesta did it. She looked him in the eyes and hit the bottom. She stopped falling and everything that had left her body fell on her with such force that her back bowed.

She kept looking into his eyes while all sorts of emotions swirled there. In that dark, usually light, brown that Nesta had learned to love in all those years.

She was not ready to let him go.

"Nes look at me." he muttered again.

She burst into tears and fell forward, on him, while Cassian stroked her back and whispered to her that everything would be alright.

Nesta didn't know if everything was going to be alright, but as she got up and climbed up the walls of that hole in her mind, as she picked up every good and bad thing that had happened in her life, as she accepted that thing between them, as she reached the top, where Cassian was waiting for her hopefully, she didn't realize that there was something, someone at the bottom. Someone who was trying to scream and get noticed by her.

And the more Nesta cried in Cassian's arms - the more the Nesta in her mind went up and up - the more she lost herself.

Nesta reached the gate, accepting this new challenge that life was presenting her with, without realizing that she was leaving everything she believed in at the bottom of that well.

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[mentesimploria]

when do you think the pr will end?

i thought they were gonna end this before his album's release. but that was before the announcement of his documentary + teaser.  you see, before Señorita came out, i’ve never paid attention to Shawn, i knew who he was and three of his songs, but that’s it. so i honestly thought they were just gonna use Camila as his muse and then they would go in seperate ways. did i think he was going to rely his new album around her? no. and this is so sad because you can clearly see where this is going and it’s all just... fake? we know it’s PR, right? and people know it too, aside from his fans of course. 

remember when i said i didn’t think Camila wants to be a popstar? well, we can use Shawn as an example. you don’t know who he actually is. you don’t know what he actually thinks about everything that’s happening in the world. 

one. his foundation is a scam. in stempter they created a playlist with his songs and said “stream it and we’ll donate money to X, Y and Z causes” go to their website. you don’t know which causes they’ve supported. actually, you can’t even know where all that money is going to. there’s no transparency. two. it seems his documentary will be full of shit. they canceled his show in são paulo because they wanted to show him being vulnerable. even if it was real, if he was really sick and shit, why the fuck they made him sit there, “alone” in the stadium? why did they pick something that was genuine and made it look like some fake shit? his whole documentary was scripted. isn’t that sad? like, they made him be this unreal guy, all perfect, that no one could relate to, and instead of letting him be real, they made him look more fake. he isn’t in love with Camila. all of his songs weren’t written about her. why the fuck he agreed to make a documentary that’s not about who he is at all?  

three. he made sure everyone knew that his album was album Camila. and if the song isn’t about her, then you need to know that she was the one who inspired him. she was the one who said “this is good, go for it”

four. he’s using her in his merch. he’s using her to promote his shit. she’s doing for him what he didn’t do for her. Shameless and Liar were supposed to be released on September 6, but they made her release on day earlier because he needed her in Toronto, because he was fucking recording shit for his fucking documentary. he posted the kiss video on his ig in the same day she released Liar MV. he wasn’t promoting her. he was promoting himself. and that’s what he’s been doing since Señorita came out. when people asked Camila about her songs, she tried to not tell about who she have written about. she said she didn’t want people to associate her songs to x person, that’s not why she’s here for. you can say “she put his hand in romance booklet though” but she didn’t know about this. 

so, if Camila wanted to be a popstar, she would’ve done the same thing Shawn’s doing. and you can’t say he’s being forced to do this, because if he was, he could try to not link her to his album, like she did with Romance. but no, he’s telling you that it’s all about her. i’m not gonna compare him to justin b, because that guy is way too problematic, but he’s just like Nick Jonas. he loves the attention. he doesn’t wanna show something real, he’s here just for the fame and money. and i’ll only change my mind the day he says something real. [you can pay attention to his interviews: it’s all scripted. he says the same thing over and over and over again]

so answering your question, i honestly don’t know. i’m gonna wait and see what’s gonna happen after his documentary release. but, if camila and roger were smart, they will end it after Cinderella, maybe march next year. 

[twokinkybeans]

Company Chapter 3: Imbolc

Moodboard made by Kim <3

Peter and Oberon find warmth with each other. Another Fae has different plans.

Warnings for this chapter: Fluff, smut and angst, magic and folklore, mischief, masturbation, anal (fingering), hand job, rather vanilla sex tbh? it’s full of love, then regrets and a scene that could be compared to how victims respond after rape (and the next chapter that will release on Ostara will likely contain actual dub-/noncon so please continue with care), Mysterio is here to fuck shit up.

Go to the Masterpost for all the teaser poems and chapters! Read Company - Chapter 3: Imbolc on AO3 —————————————————————————————- Here it is! Chapter 3! The next one will be posted on Ostara, March 21st. Thank you for reading it, if you do! I hope you enjoy!!! <3 - Lien

...

The Fae haunts Peter. His thoughts, his dreams- both day and night. Oberon’s smile and intense gaze follow Peter through life. He catches himself yearning to hear the man’s laughter, to feel his fingers curl in Peter’s neck as he did when he took off Peter’s coat. Sometimes, Peter imagines how he would whisper, laying next to him in bed. How his soft lips and stubble would contrast themselves on the shell of Peter’s ear. He can only guess the words the Fae would tell him, but part of him wonders what his name would sound like from Oberon’s tongue. “Peter…” The young man gasps as he shakily thrusts up into his hand, spilling over his lower abdomen. His muscles tense and his lips part to let out a strained noise in a half-assed attempt to hold back his ecstatic experience. Wave upon wave of pleasure floods over him until his body and member slack. Peter pants, eyes closed, and whispers the Fae’s name in reply to his imagination. “Oberon-” Peter knows he shouldn’t be thinking of Oberon like this. The more he gives in to his growing infatuation with the Fae, the more likely he is to slip up and give himself to the man fully. He can’t help the small voice in the back of his head, wondering how bad it would be to spend eternity with Oberon. Would it be bad at all?

… When Imbolc finally arrived, Peter took the first train to the woods. Maybe he’s a little eager, but he simply can’t wait to see Oberon again. He scrolls through his phone, smiling at some silly photos of May he took last week and setting one as his lock screen. She’s alive again because of the Fae- because of Oberon. And all the man wants is company. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, Peter thinks. If it’s company he wants, it’s company he’ll get. With the snow gone, Peter more confidently finds his way through the woods. He’s still not exactly sure where to go, but at least the direction he’s taking feels like it makes more sense. “Oberon?” Peter uses his hands to help his voice carry further. “You here?” “Why, aren’t you cute.” Peter’s back straightens and he turns, startled, at the voice behind him. A man with slightly longer, pushed back, dirty blond hair grins down at him from a large branch. His short, trimmed beard enunciates his jawline and he has large eyes, almost comically so. They glow dim, just like Oberon’s. Fae. Bad news. Peter swallows and presses his lips on top of each other, breathing in through his nose. “Says a strange man sitting in a tree by himself in the middle of the woods,” he replies calm and collected. The Fae chuckles darkly, causing a shiver to run down Peter’s spine. The man hops off the branch and lands effortlessly. “Hmm,” the Fae hums. “If it is strange I am here in the woods by myself, then why is it not odd you are here?” “I’m looking for someone,” Peter answers earnestly. “A friend who goes by Oberon.” Suddenly, Peter’s blood seems to freeze, locking him in place as the Fae stalks closer until he is right in front of Peter. He looks down, locking Peter’s eyes with his. The Fae grins and leans in, nearly letting their noses touch. “You may call me Oberon, then.” The man’s breath is cold on Peter’s face and the young man blinks in an attempt to fight a sudden drowsiness that washes over him. “I’ll be your friend.” The Fae’s gaze holds him in place and momentarily, Peter wonders if the beauty of the being’s bright blue eyes are the cause of this sleepiness. He is using magic on Peter and only now does it become painfully obvious what Oberon could have done to him from the start, but never did. “I don’t think I should-” As quickly as the Fae got hold of him, he lets Peter go again. He looks to his side cautiously and when Peter blinks, the Fae is gone. “Puck,” a familiar voice speaks. Immediately, a smile grows on Peter’s face. He pivots and the Fae seems surprised by how Peter beams. “Oberon, hey!” Peter holds himself back. Part of him wants to fall into the Fae’s embrace straight away, but as much as his feelings for the man have rooted and grown, he’s not sure Oberon has gone through the same. “Who were you talking to?” Oberon inquires curiously. Peter cocks his head and frowns. With an uncertain pout, he looks around him. “Nobody- eh, myself, I guess? I tend to do that.” … “What’s that?” Oberon creeps over Peter’s shoulder, staring at the device in Peter’s hand. The young man is seated on the soft pillows of Oberon’s cabin. Peter grins. “With my aunt back at work, she started making money again.” He holds up his phone to proudly show it to Oberon. “She gave me this phone for Christmas!” The Fae frowns slightly and shuffles to sit down next to Peter, who sucks in a breath at how close the man is to him. “Phone…” Oberon repeats, lost in thought. “It looks fragile.” “Well,” Peter chuckles. “I wouldn’t throw or toss it. I don’t want it to break- these things are expensive.” “Huh.” Oberon cocks an eyebrow. There’s a curious glimmer in his eyes as he stares at Peter’s fingers caressing the screen. “May I… May I see it?” “You are seeing it, aren’t you?” Peter smirks. Oberon scoffs and gestures at the phone. “From up close, please?” “Since you asked so nicely,” Peter says theatrically, wanting to hand Oberon the device. However, he quickly pulls back. “There’s metal in this.” “I can handle it, remember?” Oberon says with an encouraging nod. “I am Iron Man.” “Right- right,” Peter chuckles at the silly nickname and passes the phone to the Fae. The man turns and twists it in his hands, studying it intently. His eyes squeeze to slits in an attempt to look into the charger hole. “Press the button on the screen,” Peter instructs. Oberon looks up at him confused, but does as told. The screen lights up and a photo of Peter and May together appears. Oberon gasps in awe. “Who is that?” “M-“ Peter stops himself, nearly saying her name. “My aunt.” “The one I helped?” Peter nods. “She seems nice.” “She’s the nicest.” “Not I?” Oberon jokes, causing Peter to scoff a soft laugh. “Don’t make me choose.” Oberon perks up at that, eyes wide and glimmering, mouth open in a wide smile. “So, you think I am nice?” “I- I don’t mind spending time with you.” Peter looks away into the fire, blushing profusely and silently swearing at himself for feeling it crawl up to his ears. Oberon stays quiet, but Peter can practically hear him grinning. The Fae settles flush next to him as they both stare at the flames. “I think you are nice too,” Oberon speaks softly. He slowly raises his hand to give the phone back to Peter. Instead of taking it, Peter curls his fingers around Oberon’s and presses the home screen again. Oberon seems surprised by Peter’s actions, but watches intrigued as Peter swipes up, opening the camera without unlocking his phone. Oberon gasps when he is met with his own moving image on screen. “It is a mirror?” Oberon moves the phone closer to his face with Peter’s hands still on top of his. “A camera.” “For… Photos?” The Fae looks at Peter with a cocked head. The young man smiles and nods. “Correct,” he replies with a posh accent. “And videos too. Here-” Peter takes the phone out of Oberon’s hands and angles it so they are both in shot. His thumb hovers over the button on screen. “Cheese!” Right as Peter presses the button, Oberon turns to him with a frown. “Cheese?” Click. “What does that have to do with pictures?” Peter snorts and looks down at his phone to open his album. Oberon’s captured face is pricelessly confused, but Peter understands where it came from. “I- I’m not actually sure,” Peter chuckles. “I think it has to do with the word itself? Like, you kind of smile when you say it?” “I smile when I say cheese because it reminds me of its lovely taste.” Only then Oberon notices the photo on Peter’s screen. “Oh, that one is not particularly flattering,” he deadpans as he leans in to look at himself. “Can we tear it?” “Let’s not rip up my phone.” Peter smiles. “I’ll delete it.” “Just because I cannot lie, does not mean I cannot tell when others do,” Oberon says smugly. Peter hides his phone, but his eyes shimmer mischievously. “We could also just try again?” “Yes, let’s do that,” Peter says, already promising to himself that that photo will be his home screen. Peter unlocks his phone and raises his arm to angle it right again. His breath hitches when he feels Oberon press himself against Peter, to fit in the frame better. The Fae’s breath is warm in his neck and Peter nearly forgets what they were doing. He smiles awkwardly, but it turns into a genuine laugh when Oberon pokes his side slightly and exclaims: “CHEESE!” … “So, which one of these are edible?” Peter asks as he pulls at the leaves of a bush, nodding at the berries resting at the base of the twigs. “For starters, that one leads to an eternal nap, so I would advise against it,” Oberon states dryly. Peter immediately lets go of the plant and stands up straight again. They had decided, since Peter can’t actually eat food that Oberon offers him, to go foraging. That way, Peter can collect his own food. It’s been around five hours since Peter had arrived at the cottage and their conversations were as interesting and comfortable as they could be. Peter really loves his time with Oberon. “How about that one?” Peter sheepishly points at another bush with darker berries. Oberon smirks and saunters towards it, taking exactly one berry off of it and tossing it into his mouth. He chews and swallows. “Good pick.” He picks another few berries and eats them. Peter can only stare at Oberon’s bobbing Adam’s apple. After a few bites, Oberon cocks an eyebrow. “Are you alright, Puck? The berries are safe.” Peter blinks and steps towards the bush, but Oberon doesn’t move. Instead, he moves to angle a branch so that the berries are easier to pick for Peter. The young man fills his hand with berries and gratefully pulls his arm back from the bush. Two got squashed in his greedy attempt to fit as many as possible in his hands, but they still look edible. Peter takes his free hand and tastes a single piece. It’s a little sour, but incredibly tasty. He immediately perks up and tosses another three in his mouth, not noticing Oberon’s intense stare on him. Peter’s next bite is a little too eager. To prevent the berry from falling out, he clenches his teeth. However, the berry wasn’t in Peter’s mouth all the way, so it squashes and starts dripping down his chin. “Shit-” Peter exclaims as he makes a cup of his hands to catch the juice dripping down. “Here,” Oberon says quickly. “Allow me-” The Fae raises his hand and steps closer until their breaths mingle. Peter can’t move as Oberon’s thumb finds his jaw and wipes away the juice. He looks up at the man with big eyes, jaw slacked as his mind races. Oberon, seemingly reluctantly, takes his hand back but Peter stops him by dropping the berries he still had to the ground and grabbing hold of the Fae’s wrist. His mouth is dry, regardless of the juicy fruit he just ate. He feels like he’s not breathing, but judging by the fact that he can feel his heart thump in his head and that he sees his chest rising and falling rapidly from his peripheral vision, he’s still taking in oxygen. “Puck?” Oberon whispers. “Are you-” “I think there’s still some left on my lips,” Peter replies breathlessly. It is a bold move, but one he was definitely willing to make after so many more hours of talking and getting to know the man better. “My hands are already sticky.” Oberon licks his lips, eyes strained on Peter’s plump ones. Peter absentmindedly mimics Oberon’s actions. “Only one way to get rid of it then…” Oberon scoffs softly at Peter’s directness. The corner of his mouth curls up as he leans in, closing his eyes. Peter’s and Oberon’s noses brush together and Peter can’t help but close his eyes as well, relishing in the feeling of Oberon’s heat flush against him and his breath mingling with the Fae’s. He gasps softly when he feels a tongue flick against his lips, but the Fae remains distanced in a way that drives Peter mad with want. “I can only imagine how sweet you would taste,” Oberon mutters. “Don’t imagine anymore…” Peter’s order soon turns into a plea. “Please.” “Since when are you so loose? So relaxed? Why would you let me steal a kiss from y-” Peter lets out a strained noise at Oberon’s indecision on what to do, now knowing damn well the Fae wants exactly the same Peter wants. He boldly leans in, immediately opening his mouth so Oberon can push his surprised moan into him. Where Peter took initiative, Oberon now takes the lead. Peter lets himself be guided into the kiss, letting go of Oberon’s hand, so it can find its way into Peter’s hair. After a little bit, Peter pulls back slightly and scoffs a quiet laugh, still not opening his eyes. “Maybe your spells are finally working.” … The door to Oberon’s cabin gets blown wide open as he and Peter are glued to each other, breathing rapidly and tugging at their clothes. The Fae lifts Peter effortlessly, kicks the door shut and pushes the young man up against it. His hips grind into Peter’s crotch and the human whimpers at the friction against his clothed cock. “O-Oberon-” he begs. “More- more, please-” The Fae immediately moves his lips to Peter’s neck to suckle on it. He grins against Peter’s skin when a certain spot has Peter buck his hips involuntarily. Oberon sucks at it a little harsher, drawing the most delicious sounds from Peter. “More-” “I will give you all- everything- all of it.” Oberon’s mutters are nearly incoherent as he ravishes down Peter’s neck, pulling at the hoodie until he can reach Peter’s collar bone. He grazes his teeth past it and pushes his hips up against Peter’s crotch again. “Yes, yes, please-” Oberon carries Peter over to the pillow pile on the floor and sits down with Peter still on top of him. The young man’s eyes flutter open to stare straight into Oberon’s. They glow brighter than they did before. Peter immediately pushes in to kiss him again, rolling his hips into Oberon’s and moaning with every sting of stimulation on his aching clothed cock. The Fae pushes his hips up invitingly as he pulls his head back to take off his shirt. Peter stares, nearly drools, at the beautifully toned chest. “Your turn,” Oberon chuckles darkly. Peter follows the Fae’s lead and undresses his upper body. When Peter’s head is hidden in his dress shirt as he awkwardly pulls it over his head, there’s a sudden intense, wet suckle on his left nipple. “A-ah!” Peter exclaims, twitching under Oberon’s attention. The Fae’s large hands keep Peter in place. He wants to get rid of his shirt asap, but now that he can’t see, the sensations of Oberon’s tongue circling his sensitive bud are all the more overwhelming. When he’s free, Peter throws the shirt away from him and moves his hands into Oberon’s hair to anchor himself. The roll of his hips into Oberon’s crotch is steady now, but both men are ready for more. Peter feels like he’s floating as the Fae turns them both around until he’s pinning Peter on the floor. He rubs their clothed crotches together and all Peter can do is take whatever is given him. “Can I-” Oberon gasps as he sucks possessive marks on Peter’s chest. “M-May I-” “Fuck me-” Peter orders. “Please, I need you-” “Oh, Dandelion,” Oberon moans, tugging at Peter’s pants. “Sweet Chamomile, Bluebell, Primrose…” Each flower nickname is paired with a kiss or a mark or the scraping of teeth over Peter’s skin. His head spins and his eyes roll back as he tries to buck up into Oberon. He can’t close his mouth anymore. All he can do is gasp and moan and attempt to catch Oberon’s lips with his before the Fae moves back to ravish Peter’s neck again. “Clover, Columbine, Sunflower-” When all clothes have been discarded and both men are grinding into each other naked, Oberon’s voice rumbles through the cottage. “Puck-” Peter smiles at how much that particular name takes him out of it. “Parker.” Oberon freezes at Peter’s last name. He pulls back, wide-eyed until he can look at Peter properly. Both of them pant, hips still gently rolling into each other as a soft reminder they’re still going. “What?” The Fae whispers. “Puck isn’t a sexy name, is it,” Peter chuckles, bringing his hands up to trace patterns on his chest with his index finger. He gasps quietly when he brushes past his nipples. “You already know my last name…” Peter half-closes his eyes and licks his lips in an attempt to seduce Oberon to continue. “Use it.” “Parker…” The word gently falls from Oberon’s lips and Peter can feel that same tug at his heart as he did last time. It feels amazing. “Parker,” Oberon repeats, seemingly feeling pleasure from simply saying it as well. “Parker-Parker-Parker-“ Sparks seem to fly from Oberon’s eyes and he growls, moving in to eat Peter up again. Peter is unsure what is happening, but it feels absolutely heavenly. Is it Fae magic? Oberon isn’t in pain, like he said he would be if he broke his promise, so it’s not Oberon using magic directly on him. Maybe Peter feels the unwritten rules of the Fae; rules no one can go around. Not even promises. Oberon might not have Peter’s full name, but through this, part of Peter wonders if he is already bound to him. In all honesty, he couldn’t even mind it if he tried. It feels too good. The sensation is everything; an overwhelming pleasure that makes Peter yearn for more. Earlier, Peter wondered if it would be bad to be bound. But if it feels like this, he is certain that it’s not bad at all. Not with someone as sweet and caring and loving and giving as Oberon. Peter gets brought back to reality by Oberon snapping his finger. The young man blinks dreamily and smiles up at the Fae. “Are you with me?” Oberon checks and Peter nods. “Feels so good-” The Fae grins but it soon fades when Peter cheekily cocks an eyebrow. “However, I do believe I told you to fuck me,” Peter says cheekily. Oberon scoffs a laugh and leans back until he’s up straight again. “Proof of autonomy, right there,” he chuckles as he brings one hand down to circle Peter’s hole. Peter immediately pushes down and lets out a soft whine. “Make me yours-” he gasps. Oberon licks one long stripe from Peter’s right nipple over his collar bone, up to his neck and jaw. “You already are, my flower.” Oberon’s voice is dark and Peter can’t help a high pitched sigh escape his throat. “Are you alright with Oberon?” Peter double checks. “From your lips, always,” the Fae smirks, still teasing around Peter’s entrance. “Anything else, my king?” Peter jokes, referencing the fact that the character is king of the Fae. Oberon freezes at that, causing Peter to open his eyes. “Too much?” Peter ponders out loud. Oberon licks his lips and swallows, seemingly regaining his composure. The Fae then pushes in without warning, curling his finger. Peter’s surprised the glide comes so easily. Like he is already lubed up. Magic, he guesses. He doesn’t really want to think more of it and the ecstasy already makes him forget what just happened. When Peter’s body complies and follows without protest, it doesn’t take long for a second finger to be added. And then a third. Peter is fucking himself on Oberon’s fingers while the man searches for the spot that will make Peter scream. Soon enough, he finds it. Though, after brushing past it once and earning the most delectable noise from Peter, he pulls his fingers back. Before Peter can whine about the lack of touch, the fingers are replaced by Oberon’s stiff cock. “Wasps-” Peter chuckles at the characteristic swear coming from the Fae. “You’re so tight, Parker. So tight.” Oberon bottoms out and stops moving, allowing Peter to get adjusted to the Fae’s girth. Peter, however, is so ready to be fucked, he doesn’t really want to wait anymore. He reaches his, up until now jelly and motionless, arms up until his fingers wrap around Oberon’s shoulders. He then starts pulling and smiles when Oberon lets himself be guided. The Fae’s eyes are closed, like he’s trying to concentrate. It makes him a lot more compliant, which Peter uses to his advantage. Peter keeps pulling and turning until Oberon is laying down and Peter is sitting on top of him. The young man’s hands rest on the Fae’s chest. “Your turn,” Peter whispers, repeating what Oberon said earlier, as he leans down to obscenely lick at Oberon’s perched nipples. He wets them up nicely and moves back enough so his index fingers and thumbs get enough space to start rolling the nipples between them. Oberon chokes back a moan. His entire body is tense. It’s only now that Peter notices Oberon’s arms are spread, fists clenched and… Is that magic in his closed palms? “Are you alright?” Peter inquires. Oberon nods, simply and aggressively. “Holding back-” he chokes out. “What are you holding back?” Peter’s question is paired with a first, slow and gentle roll of his hips. Oberon sucks in a breath and Peter stares curiously at the sparks, brightening in the Fae’s hands. “Magic. My- m-” “Is that magic dangerous to me?” Something about that question thrilled Peter. The only thing that actually frightens him right now is the idea Oberon might want to stop. And also the fact that he may or may not have fallen in love with the man below him. “No,” Oberon groans. “J-Just magic-” he pauses to react to Peter slowly lifting himself up his cock, only to lower himself again and slightly wiggle his hips when he bottoms out. Peter’s curiosity grows by the second, just as his need to get both Oberon and himself off. “What kind?” The words roll off Peter’s tongue, low and alluring. “Illusions- I think I- I can make them be illusions.” Peter isn’t sure what Oberon means with that exactly, but the reply surely piqued his interest. He picks up the pace riding the Fae, reveling in how Oberon falls apart below him. The magic in Oberon’s hands intensifies and it is now Peter’s sole mission to have the man let go for him. Peter leans in and kisses Oberon on the lips, so soft and gentle. “Oberon,” Peter whispers as he sits up straight again, slowly but surely turning his rolling into bouncing. “Open your eyes.” The Fae obeys and moans at the sight of Peter’s body on top of him. In a reflex, the man starts fucking up into Peter in tune with Peter’s bouncing. “O-oh, yes!” Peter exclaims. “I- I wanna see it, Oberon. Y-your magic. Let it out-“ Oberon’s eyes roll back as he loses tension in his fingers. Blues and purples shoot from his hands, surrounding the two lovers with an endless galaxy. Peter gasps surprised, staring at the infinity around them. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. When he looks down at Oberon again, whose eyes still glow and flicker, he notices even the ground has turned to stars below them. He grins as he picks up the pace again. “Never thought I’d get to fuck in space,” he chuckles, riding Oberon feverishly. “Or y’know, get fucked by a Fae.” “You,” Oberon sighs with a smile. “You talk too much.” Now that Oberon doesn’t have to hold anything back anymore, he quickly turns them around like they were before. His hands, still sparking with magic, cup Peter’s cheeks and he brings them together in a hungry kiss. He has once again taken the lead and is now thrusting into Peter, chasing his high. One hand swiftly finds its way down between them. Peter moans into Oberon’s mouth when the Fae’s fingers curl around his shaft to pump him at the same pace as Oberon’s hips move against him. They’re wet and sticky with magic lube and precum and the sounds their crashing bodies make are downright porn-worthy. “Parkeeer…” The Fae groans. “O-Oberon,” Peter replies breathlessly. Their pace is relentless now, bodies tensed and nearing release. “Stark,” the Fae says, causing Peter’s eyes to shoot open when he feels another tug at his heart. The Fae looks down at him with a panting half-smile. “If I get to call you Parker, you get to call me Stark.” Last names. Peter’s entire body shakes and trembles as the edge is ever so close. He’s on fire, surrounded by moons and stars and milky ways and Oberon- Stark, right there with him, above him, making him see even more stars. “S-Stark-” he whispers. Around him, the scene intensifies and Oberon’s eyes glow even brighter. “Yes, that’s it, my sweet, my flower, my Parker-” Peter squeezes his eyes shut. “So close-” Peter isn’t sure if Oberon means himself or Peter, but either way, he’s right. “Wanna cum,” he gasps, biting into Oberon’s lower lip slightly. “Go on then, show me your beauty,” Oberon encourages, moving to sit up a little straighter and parting their faces from each other. Peter instinctively tries to move up along with Oberon, so he can keep their lips locked, but Oberon pushes him back down. The Fae’s thrusts are more calculated now, angled exactly where Peter needs him to go. His last free hand shifts to gently roll Peter’s balls while his other still pumps the young man’s shaft feverishly. “Stark!” Peter’s body thrashes and he cums, spilling himself all over Oberon’s hand and his own belly. He clenches down on the Fae’s cock and smiles deliriously when he milks Stark, the feeling of his insides being coated white adding another surge of pride and pleasure to his high. “Oh, flower,” Stark sighs, nearly dropping himself on top of Peter. “You were so good, so sweet.” Peter’s eyes are already closed, Oberon’s cock still sheathed inside of him. “Hmm…” Stark/Oberon shifts until they are both laying on their sides, bodies still flush together. “Will you sleep for me tonight?” Peter nods absentmindedly, still grinning ear to ear and basking in the afterglow. The smile brightens slightly when he feels Oberon’s lips press a soft kiss on his nose. “I will be here in the morning. Take your rest. I’ll hold you.” Peter drifts to sleep to the soft humming of the Fae’s voice. Not bad, he thinks before losing himself to slumber. Not bad at all. … A chilly breeze hits Peter’s face. His lips curl up and he turns, feeling around for Oberon. For Stark. His smile fades when the haze of just waking up fades and he notices just how cold the room actually is. His hand ends up on the cool flooring. Oberon isn’t there. Peter opens his eyes and sucks in some air when he notices there is snow. Inside. He quickly moves to sit upright, pulling the blankets up to keep himself warm, and he looks around. Oberon sits by the opened door, hands folded together in front of his mouth. He’s hunched up and his expression is stern. Tight. Worry settles in Peter’s stomach. “O-Oberon?” He isn’t sure if he should be saying the Fae’s actual name now. Oberon doesn’t look up. “Get dressed.” “Is something wrong?” Peter’s browns curl together. “Get. Dressed.” Peter remains seated, frozen in place and at a loss for words. When Peter still doesn’t move, Oberon finally turns his face to stare Peter down. “Do as you’re told.” “Excuse me?” The young man’s eyes go wide with surprise. Who does this man think he is? “You’re leaving,” Oberon says with a shaky voice. “Now.” He looks away again. “Get dressed.” The world around Peter collapses. Everything they had been through together, everything that had happened… Is over? “I don’t understand-” “Do not make me get over there and force you.” Peter immediately stands and grabs his clothes, feeling his tears threatening to spill. The only word going through is head right now is why. Why would Oberon do this? Why is he suddenly so different? Why does Peter have to leave so suddenly? Why is this happening? Once Peter is dressed, he grabs his phone from where it’s resting against a pillow. The screen doesn’t light up. Great; his new phone is dead too. He stares at his reflection in the dark screen. His cheeks are red and his eyes puffed. He blinks and then the tears fall. “Puck.” Peter gasps and looks up at the Fae who now stands. An odd glow now radiates from the middle of his chest. The man’s expression is pained, like he’s holding back. “You are no longer indebted to me. You are to go home and forget about us. Do not come back to these woods. Ever.” “You,” Peter pushes out through gritted teeth, his sadness slowly making place for anger. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” Oberon doesn’t speak. The only response Peter gets to his accusation is the twitch over Oberon’s upper lip. “You manipulated me enough to have sex with me and now you’re dropping me.” The Fae looks away and takes hold of the door, gesturing to outside. “Leave,” Oberon orders. “Please.” Peter is confused at how the Fae’s voice cracks, as if he actually cares about Peter. “Unbelievable,” the young man breathes. “I can’t believe I fell for this. For you!” “LEAVE!” The Fae’s aggression reverbs through the cottage, making it even colder than it already was. Peter’s jaw trembles as his tears now freely glide down his cheeks. Peter runs. Past the pots and pans at the cooking area, past the herbs hanging from the ceiling, past Oberon, through the door. The second he sets foot outside, he hears the door being thrown shut, but when he turns around he finds the cabin has disappeared entirely. It’s gone. And now Peter is alone in the woods. He shakes violently, dropping to his knees and sobbing. Part of him hopes that wherever Oberon is, that he can hear him wail. … When Peter arrives home, he plugs in his phone and heads to the shower. He feverishly washes himself, scrubbing his body and hating how he can still feel the Fae’s touch lingering on his skin. He wants it gone. Wants the Fae gone. He sobs under the stream, knowing damn well that he will never be able to get rid of the sensation of disgust. After an hour of letting his tears disappear in the drain, he turns off the tap, broken and drained- empty and dulled. He drops himself on his bed and simply lays there. He won’t be able to sleep anyways. … Peter is startled back to reality by his buzzing phone. The alarm he had set for the morning after Oberon went off, now that the battery was fully charged again. He swallows and grabs his phone, snoozing his alarm. He wants to put the phone away, but notices something is off. He unlocks it and the notification that caught his guard now fully pops up. Recording ended due to empty battery. Confused, yet curious, Peter opens his album to check which recording the notification meant. He blinks a few times when he spots the right one. Two hours and forty-two minutes. When did that happen? He selects it and starts the recording, not entirely unsurprised to be met by Oberon’s face, extremely close to the camera. The sight stings him. “Oh, this is a video right?” Oberon’s voice asks from the phone’s speakers. “Right. Well, hello, future Puck, I am going to show you something.” The Fae turns the camera to show a peacefully sleeping Peter. The camera moves closer to Peter and he can hear a bit of shuffling. He guesses Oberon went to lay down next to Peter. “Do you see your face?” Oberon’s voice is toned down and soft, now that he’s so close to Peter’s sleeping form. Peter watches what Oberon means, already feeling the tears sting in his eyes again. “You wear no mask now…” A hand appears from the corner of the screen to move a few of Peter’s curls out of the way. His fingers caress Peter’s cheek, causing an unwelcome shiver to run down Peter’s real spine. “You are at peace like this. So wonderful, so beautiful…” The Fae sighs content. “I could watch you like this for hours, you know?” “I know.” Peter is startled to hear himself talk in the video. In his sleep. Oberon chuckles. “Oh, do you?” “Mhm.” “Tell me, Puck, what is your favorite season?” “Spring.” “Well, aren’t you lucky that’s right around the corner.” Peter wants to throw his phone to the other side of the room. Oberon is having a conversation with him that he doesn’t remember having. Because he was asleep. It makes him feel uneasy and wonder what else the Fae asked him. “Think you can do some math right now? That ought to be fun to make you try.” The Peter in the video doesn’t reply, so Oberon simply continues. “Puck, what is two plus two?” “Four,” Peter replies promptly. “Easy.” “Alright how about twenty-one times forty-eight?” It’s quiet for a few seconds, but Peter replies still. “One thousand and eight.” “I honestly would not know how to check if it is correct, but I would surely assume you are correct.” Oberon asks Peter some more insignificant questions before falling silent again, simply looking at Peter. It seems he forgot he was filming Peter as the phone is quickly put away in a standing position. Peter guesses this was the spot he found his phone in, looking out over the entire cottage. Peter scrolls ahead in the video, not wanting to watch Oberon play with Peter’s hair for one and a half hours. Peter plays the video at normal speed again when he spots Oberon standing up. He shuffles around the room and speaks softly. “I will be out back to collect some more berries. Will you be alright, my love?” The name is a punch in the gut for Peter and he pulls at his hair. He doesn’t know why he’s still watching, but part of him wonders if whatever made Oberon change his mind like that so suddenly has been caught on camera. “Be fine,” Peter in the video mumbles bluntly. “Love you, bye.” A wide, surprised smile spreads on Oberon’s face and he walks out, mumbling something to himself. Again, nothing happens for half an hour, when suddenly… “Here you are…” A familiar voice speaks. A stranger saunters into Oberon’s cottage. Peter feels like he’s seen him somewhere before, but he can’t recall where. His eyes glow blue, like Oberon’s and when he reaches Peter, he squats down. “Didn’t expect someone as delectable as you to spend time with our heir.” Heir…? Peter’s skin crawls when the man’s hand traces down his bare body, curiously lifting the blankets and grinning wide at his findings. Peter instinctively clutches his sheets, covering himself more. He feels even more disgusted now. “Oh, aren’t you spent…” His eyes darken and his smirk turns ever so evil. “Used.” “Was so good,” the Peter in the video says. The man perks up surprised. “You speak in your slumber?” “Mm…” “Oh, what a nice turn of events…” The man’s hand cups Peter’s face. “Does the prince know your name?” Prince- “No- yes. A little.” “A little? How does that work?” “Last name.” “Oh, like so. Well then, sweet thing, what is your last name?” “Parker.” Peter feels the tug at his heart again. No, is all he can think. Don’t say more. “And then, if you’ll indulge me… What is your first name?” “Your voice is silenced in eclipse, no more words fall from your lips-” Oberon rushes in and reaches his hand forward at Peter, quieting him immediately. The second the spell has settled on Peter, Oberon’s eyes widen and he freezes before he collapses clutching his chest and letting out an agonized groan. Peter stirs, but the other Fae waves his hand once. “Do not wake ‘til morning comes, Parker, I have plans for you.” The man turns back to Oberon and scoffs a laugh. “I can spell him all I want, I have no promises to break. Unlike you, cousin.” Oberon gasps as he trembles, the area where he clutched his chest now glows blue like his eyes. Like Peter had seen the morning after. Oberon broke his promise and now had to deal with the consequences- the pain. He broke his promise; to protect Peter. “Why are you here,” Oberon seethes. “Why, I was quite intrigued to find this beautiful specimen in the woods yesterday. Searching for Oberon. I suppose that is you?” The man laughs condescendingly. “And you are not even king yet.” He turns back to Peter. “Pathetic… You didn’t even take his name.” “Step away from him.” “I will not. You have not claimed him, so I will.” “Mysterio-“ Oberon threatens, squaring up. His hands turn to ice like they had done when he almost spelled Flash. Snow is brought through the opened door by a wind Oberon conjures up. “Leave Puck alone.” “Oh!” Mysterio exclaims. “You call him Puck? And he calls you Oberon. How disgustingly sweet.” His expression drops. “I’m going to hurl.” “He’s not yours to take, leave us!” The snow in the cottage thickens as Oberon’s skin pales more with anger and cold magic. “Iron Man, do not tell me you love him.” Oberon’s jaw tightens at Mysterio’s condescending tone. “Oh, you love him.” Mysterio confirms to himself. “Well, then I’ll certainly enjoy taking him for myself.” “I will not let you!” Peter doesn’t understand why Oberon doesn’t just force the man out of his home. “You will, cousin.” Mysterio stands upright and circles Peter like a hawk, waiting for the right moment to take his prey. “For if you do not, I will tell all of Winter Court of the human you bedded. The human you want. The human you did not trick. The human who is not yours, for you do not have his name.” “You would not,” Oberon breathes. “All the Fae will come for him then. I won’t be able to protect him.” “That is what you are worried about?” Mysterio scoffs. “Not that your father will revoke your title and pass the throne to me for your dishonorable and disappointing behavior?” “I do not want to be a king like my father. The title means nothing to me.” “Then why not pass it to me?” “And leave you in charge of all of Winter Court? I’d rather eat my own two feet.” “Rude, much,” Mysterio says faux-offended. “Tell you what. I’m giving you one chance to redeem yourself.” “What will you have me do.” “Claim him.” “No,” Oberon immediately counters, taking two steps forward. Desperation seeps off every word. “No, please, do not make me do this.” “You choose, Oberon,” Mysterio taunts. “You either take his name and keep your honor, or you will lose your title to me and all of Winter Court will be scouring these woods to use him the way you would not.” He cocks his head and grins. “And I will be first in line. Your boy will certainly look lovely at my feet, having no choice but to worship me for all eternity.” “You disgust me,” Oberon seethes. Though, his magic loses power as his shoulders start hanging. “And you me, cousin.” Mysterio then steps over Peter’s body as he casually makes his way to the door, past Oberon. He places his hand on Oberon’s shoulder and pats twice. “Make our court proud.” Mysterio then leaves Oberon and Peter alone in the cottage- in the cold. Oberon’s sad eyes find Peter’s figure and after a minute of visibly holding in his tears he manages to shuffle towards Peter. A soft sob escapes his throat as he lays down next to Peter again, fixing his hair where Mysterio had undone it. The new light emitting from Oberon’s chest now lights up both of their faces. The Fae waves his hand over Peter’s face to undo the spell he had put on him. He then sniffs and the Peter watching the video cries along with him. “Oh, Puck, my flower,” Oberon mumbles through his tears. “I do not wish to lose you. I want to keep you.” “Keep me,” sleeping Peter replies softly. Oberon swallows and closes his eyes. “I can’t.” “Keep me,” Peter repeats. “No.” Oberon is sobbing quietly now. His shoulders shake with every intake of breath. “No.” The Fae presses his lips together and swallows. “I love you too much to keep you.” “Love you too, bye.” Oberon can’t help but scoff a quiet laugh through his tears. Peter is still asleep. Whatever he says is steered on by his subconscious. It’s quiet for a few minutes, but Peter can’t get himself to stop the video. He watches as all possible emotions in existence pass over Oberon’s face. “Puck,” Oberon asks suddenly. Peter holds his breath, anticipating the question. “What is your name?” Peter stares breathlessly at the screen, but when the Peter in the video opens his mouth to speak, Oberon swiftly covers it. “No. No, I do not want it.” He averts his gaze. “I should not have asked to begin with, I am sorry.” “It’s okay,” sleeping Peter answers, probably only responding to the I am sorry part, not actually aware of what it was attached to. “It is not.” It’s quiet again for a little bit. Peter notices the video is almost at its end. He wonders if anything else will be said before his phone’s battery died. In the last thirty seconds, Oberon speaks once more. “I have decided to let you go, flower.” Oberon’s words are shaky. “You deserve your freedom more than I deserve anything else.” Peter is sobbing now, so painfully aware of the things he had accused Oberon of when he left the cottage. “You will never see me again after this, so I want- I want you to have this… To have mine.” Peter frowns through his tears. His…? His what? “My name…” Peter’s eyes widen and he sits up straight in his bed. Is Oberon giving him the one thing they would never share? “My name is-” Peter stares at a black screen as the video and audio cut right when Oberon was about to say his name. After five solid minutes of being frozen in place, something in his mind finally clicks. He has to go back. Back to the woods, back to Oberon. Stat. Straight away. Pronto. Immediately. Now. … Peter runs as fast as his legs can carry him. The ground in the woods is treacherous and uneven, but he can’t get himself to slow down. The wind cuts the skin on his face and his quick breath condenses in front of his mouth. “OBERON!” His screams carry far. “OBERON, COME TO ME!” He nearly trips, causing him to stop running altogether. “OBERON, PLEASE!” he cries out. “PLEASE!” Peter wants to protect Oberon the way he had protected May. Mysterio hadn’t given Oberon this third option; to let Peter leave. It was a risk Oberon had taken in an attempt to go around Mysterio’s threat, since in both, Peter’s freedom would be taken. The Fae was presented with two choices: claim the name or don’t and suffer the consequences. Thing is, Oberon did not claim Peter’s name. That means Mysterio will still tell all of Winter Court about Peter. Oberon will lose the throne and be shunned from his people forever. That is why Peter is here. Oberon has to take his name. He simply has to. And now, Peter is more than ready to give it to him. The Fae had sent Peter away to protect him from being taken, but there is nothing he wants more right now then to be taken. By no one other than- “OBERON!” It’s no use. Peter has been walking for hours now, searching the woods for any sign of the Fae. Or any Fae for that matter. He assumes they would’ve already found him by now, but they are nowhere to be seen. He unlocks his phone and swears when he realizes what day it is. The human world and the Fae world are parallel to each other and they only really mingle on the actual Pagan celebrations. It’s no longer Imbolc. The veil is back. Peter couldn’t find any fairy circles or other signs of passage to their realm in his desperate attempt to locate Oberon, which means there is no way he can find the Fae before the next time Oberon and he were supposed to meet. Ostara. March 21st. Defeated, Peter falls to his knees on the forest floor, clutching his phone against his chest and crying without tears. He had none left. Peter inwardly has to tell himself that he is going to have to go home… And that he is about to face the longest one and half months of his life…

[mallowstep]

What characters in Warriors would you change by personality/development? Since there are a lot of Warriors that had lost potential, which ones do you think would've turned out to be AMAZING characters if they had more care given to them?

lmao i just did the one with bad end-of-arc stuff, so this feels fitting.

which, btw, i think these are different things, altho i won't be surprised if we see some repeats

i'm also going to do my best to not include too many background characters, because that's cheating. like yeah, sure, mossyfoot could have been a fantastic character but like she has like five lines in mistystar's omen, y'know?

and as before, if you want detailed discussion of anyone, send me an ask w one or two characters n i'll ramble on à la what i did for breezepelt anon.

okay, let's go! again, i'll be going roughly chronologically

silverstream. she could have been a lot. actually, silverstream novella would be cool? that would be fun.

sandstorm. idk. i just want to see her from someone else's pov, not fireheart. is she in redtail's debt? prob not signficantly

morningflower. i have so many questions. i want answers. i love her. she's so pretty.

deadfoot. i just. i just. he's. he's just. i want. i want. so much was set up in tallstar's revenge and yet. and yet.

until we get leopardstar's honor (and maybe even after, if it's bad), leopardstar.

related, mudclaw. we did get winds of change (which i'm still reading), so that's good! but i haven't finished it yet so it doesn't exist lmao.

mistystar. like. uh. her novella is bad? it's not bad the way leafpool's wish is bad; it's just not enjoyable, imo. but she suffers so much. i want to feel her pain; i also want to mercy kill her.

stonefur! my boy.

tallpoppy.

littlecloud.

BLACKSTAR. we got blackfoot's reckoning (which btw why is it tallstar's revenge but blackfoot's reckoning what? are we getting a blackstar super edition?)

sorreltail.

BRINDLEFACE.

ferncloud! god i love her. she's perfect.

is it cheating to say squirrelflight again? she barely fits on this list but as far as i'm concerned you could never give too much care to her. she's not really on this list i just love her.

ashfoot! ASHFOOT. i do like that she came up in crowfeather's trial tho! just haven't read it.

billystorm. he was in skyclan and the stranger a lot which was good, but i still think he deserved more.

all of the sisters. they're great characters, but you can't have too much of them. okay maybe you can, but we're not even close.

GOLDENFLOWER. GOLDENFLOWER. NUFF SAID.

oh, opposite! snowfur is a really well done character. she's given exactly the right amount of weight and time, very well executed. maybe i'm biased but i think they did a good job with her.

mothwing? uh, i just can't get enough of her but also i think while mothwing's secret made me sob like a baby i think she could have gotten a whole arc and i'd still be saying mothwing but also she deserves more and no we don't count tbc bc that's not my mothwing

WILLOWSHINE. WILLOWBBY.

the oots riverclan apprentices. they make it on this list bc (a) i gave them all personalities and (b) a lot of them have fucked up allegiances. hollowflight, rushtail, troutstream, mossyfoot: i honor you in one bullet point since you're way too minor to get your own.

millie. i haven't read the greystripe graphic novel, but i do try to focus on main arc content for these lists anyway. but millie. kind of.

a moment of silence for every apprentice and queen ever killed for a plot device. swiftpaw, shrewpaw, brindleface, badgerfang, smokepaw, coriander, and more i cannot remember: this one is for you.

moth flight. no, i know she got her own super edition i just. uh. this is a lil personal but as someone with adhd, reading her super edition made me cry. n i want more from her

fuccck okay so i don't remember anything that happened in avos that wasn't violetshine (violetshine) so my avos list is gonna be bad here but. puddleshine.

larksong, or w/e sparkpelt's mate was named.

like most of the great battle casualties.

half moon!

harestar

flametail and dawnpelt.

ANOTHER GOOD ONE: NEEDLETAIL. that's the first needle's name, right? i'm sorry i'm bad with this but anyway. needletail. she was very good. she did suffer a lot because her bonus chapters which. bs can i say. i cannot afford the b&n editions i don't have space or money for physical books. very bs. but needletail.

tawnypelt.

the guardian cats!

the other needle? needleclaw? is it needleclaw? that's a bad name lmao. people complain about twigbranch but like. at least twigbranch has meaning and i think it's cute. needleclaw is just. repetitive for no reason. what, leafstar, are you naming her after sharpclaw? yeah sure i definitely believe you smh.

all of leafstar's kits.

APPLEFUR.

velvet. i loved. just. also moonkitti's velvet is adorable. but legitimately, canon velvet too could have been interesting. mostly through her relationship (i.e., connection, not necessarily romantic) to alderheart.

ALL OF THE UNNAMED KITS.

any deputy who retired or died from normal events. any. deputy.

really the thing with warriors is when you have this many characters, every character is a chance to do something interesting.

like, uh, okay. let's look at birchfall. he's a great example for what i mean here because he's. he's not quite a blank slate but you can still write just about anything and say "look, it's birchfall."

i can make him a good father who dovepaw thinks about and misses in dovefeather:

"How are you?"

"I'm good. I miss all of you."

He purrs. "We miss you too. Whitewing and Ivypaw will be thrilled to see you." He studies her. "Has RiverClan been treating you well?"

"Yeah, I've been learning a lot." She waves her tail, excited. "I even learned how to swim."

Birchfall chirps. "Really? Imagine. My daughter, swimming."

"It's not as hard as it looks," she says. "And the water is warming up."

Birchfall licks her shoulder. "I'm proud of you, you know that? It's not easy to leave your Clan for so long."

just a cute lil convo i haven't posted any wip teasers in a long time.

but that doesn't make it the only way to write him. and i know that's obvious, but like! that's my point. there's almost infinite potential in warriors. i've read fics for canon characters but you feel like you're reading ocs, not in a bad way, they just don't have any personality.

i had to sit down and do character creation strategies for trout, rush, and mossy because they just don't have a lot going for them, canonically. i could have done anything.

so uh? yeah?

as always, thank u for giving me an opportunity/excuse to ramble

<3

[plasticflowering]

A Unifying Theory of Loreography (Lore + Choreography)

(2/3/21) HELLO to all new folks finding this post! It is also now a YouTube Video, and I’m pretty happy with it so if you’d rather get your lore analysis visually please check it out! 

Preface: I don’t think it’s just coincidence that we got full choreography for an intro called “Devil is in the detail”, and I’ve made it my mission since 반박불가 dropped to pull apart the threads that might link everything, lore-wise. This morning I believe I had an epiphany about it, so here are my thoughts.

If this flops I will feel my soul exiting my body so please validate me.

Notes: In forming this theory I mostly considered the events of the storyline MVs and teasers as well as the choreography, but a very important part of my epiphanies came when considering the post-MV stingers for TBONTB and 반박불가. It’s using these stingers that I feel like I can better understand the thesis statements in the choreo. 

Part One: Now then, where were we? 

At the end of TBONTB, the monarchs are approaching monumental, pitch-black gates made of skulls and desperate, reaching hands. 

I can’t not interpret this as the gates of Tartarus, considering the Greek mythology in the canon lore already. Tartarus, however, is at the lowest depths of the underworld, and so my interpretation is that, while they reclaimed their souls from the necklace, they awoke physically in a realm beyond the underworld, and now have to make their way out of this psychological nightmare to breathe free the air, as it were. Through Tartarus, through Hell, this is not because I played 80 hours of Hades in the last three months but it might have a little to do with that. Stay with me. (Though if anyone is wondering, YES Leedo would be Zagreus, but that’s not why we’re here today)

Part Two: Devil is in the Detail 

What an opening formation. The imagery is not 100% clear to me, but I feel as if this entire opening formation sequence is dual-wielding imagery of a crown (much like the killing part of TBONTB), but also the gates of Tartarus. 

Look at this transition once Hwanwoong ascends to the top of the formation, and how the hands all come out, similar to the gates above. I’ll be damned if this is supposed to invoke anything else.

Rewinding a bit, this framing of Seoho being resuscitated and borne by their hands is stunning. Seoho’s journey in the TBONTB choreography merits its own post entirely, because there are a lot of moments that seem to be telling a story for him particularly, and this is just a continuation of that. 

Ravn and Leedo being separated for the rap line part seems like an obvious utilitarian choice, and I agree that it is. However, before we prepare to dismiss all “pairings” as serving the progression of the song itself, I have another theory that ties together a lot of the inciting moments of choreo. I promise you this is going to sound like A Reach, but that’s just how my mind works and if you enjoy it I’m glad.

Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the monarchs who have absolved themselves by the events of 반박불가, and fully reclaimed their souls as well as their conscience. Seoho and Ravn, not so much. They have a lot of work to do to free their conscience - especially Seoho. Oh, lord, especially Seoho. Keonhee is an extremely interesting case, as he seems to have a foot firmly in both sides, More on that later. 

For further paranoid conspiracy theorist proof of this, please note that their outfits in the choreography videos symbolically reflect this:

Light, Light, Light/Dark, Dark, Dark/Lightish, Light

If you need more convincing, may I point out that Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the only members who got those wonderful “all clothed in white” shots in the back half of the 반박불가 MV? I tried to make a gif, and I did make a gif, but Tumblr doesn’t want to post it in this text post.

(you rn)

The most interesting moments of loreography in DiitD are the following: 

1. These lotus hands. Again, the imagery, I die!! Keonhee is coming into his own, his character is blooming, expanding his consciousness, going sicko mode with the realization that he has power in the underworld. 

2. Directly following this, Seoho offers a hand to Keonhee and literally drags him down (again, the light/dark dichotomy of Keonhee), while the two good good boys Hwanwoong and Xion are back there just trying to maintain balance so they can get through this Hell/Tartarus thing. 

3. Good ol’ ONEUS Summoning Circle, but wait this time I think it’s actually meaningful beyond the imagery. Seoho is at the center because he has the vocal line, yeah obviously, but he stays there much longer than is objectively necessary without a formation change. This isn’t common in ONEUS choreography. As much as they love their Summoning Circles, they tend to move on to other formations quickly. This one has meat on its bones, and I think what’s happening here, loreography wise, are the other monarchs banding together in an attempt to save Seoho from the darkness. But Seoho is powerfully dark, y’all, even going so far as to overpower them in the moment above. 

4. This is flame imagery. Seoho has been engulfed in flames despite everyone’s best efforts. 

5. At the last minute, he gets yeeted via backflip back into Hell/Tartarus

6. Keonhee takes the initiative in going back for him...

7. We’re back in Hell, that’s just great. Thanks, Seoho. You’re lucky we love you and your extremely disturbed conscience. 

With this in mind, you can probably get way ahead of me, here. 

Part Three: 반박불가 

Perhaps not remarkably, the title track doesn’t have nearly as many loreography beats as DiitD. However, we know it’s part of the lore, and this was made abundantly clear simply with that opening move...

This is where we left off TBONTB, but not exactly. There is a slightly different formation of dancers here, which suggests it’s not picking up exactly where TBONTB left off, but rather that this is a cue to let casual fans know, explicitly: yes, this is a continuation of the TBONTB story. 

Some moments don’t have choreography allusions, but they are loud in the MV, such as:

- “Youngjo, would you stop playing with flowers, our lead vocalist is going to Hell.” Ravn, who barely scraped out of Hell last time, ostensibly with Leedo’s help according to the rap line break in the choreography, has a rough time of it in the 반박불가 MV, but Hwanwoong isn’t going to let him fall back into toxic behaviors and lose himself to that psychological prison again. Hwanwoong drags Ravn back out of Hell, but not before Ravn successfully makes contact with Seoho. Obviously, Ravn would be the one to make contact, because Ravn’s still a little on edge about his own conscience and can easily backslide if he wants to. Who does he find down there? Seoho.

- Keonhee, who led the charge to return to Hell, is staying on task but seems to be the chief of operations to Hwanwoong’s chief of intelligence here, exercising his newfound sicko mode. Those two are certainly working hardest at keeping the servants of darkness in check down in the depths so they can make a quick break for it. 

- Leedo’s actually having a grand time fighting his own demons - or rather, smirking at them and realizing that nah, he’s good. He can use his guilt and regret to motivate him towrd good things now. 

- Xion is literally just above all of this and can move between Hell and Earth with ease, so he’s just waiting to see if he has to pull any Fallen God-Prince cards here to save his friends. 

Now, for the key loregraphy moments. It’s obvious that 1Million was choreographing for a new direction in the ONEUS style, here, so it’s nearly bereft of the usual lyricism and formations, but they’re definitely there. Unsurprisingly they almost all deal with Seoho. 

1. God, this moment whips. They’re all working to free Seoho and lock the gates behind them, with Keonhee giving Seoho one final push. That’s not a normal choreography move. That is storytelling and it sticks out like a beautiful sore thumb with an entire sonnet written on it. 

2. With Seoho on lock, now Ravn may break out. He does so rather easily, but it’s not without Hwanwoong’s help. Please notice that Keonhee and Seoho are the two BEHIND him, and what that symbolizes. 

3. This fucking bridge. It’s amazing with the loreography. First of all we have Keonhee, and the Summoning Circle is using the same imagery/texture that was formerly used to represent engulfing fire. Uh-oh.

4. Keonhee reaches out...

... but gets dragged under.

5. (excited football commentator voice) but who’s that on the outside making it to the surface, literally with the support of the other monarchs? IT’S SEOHO (cheers)!!

And Seoho finishes things out in the center, as well he should because he got us into this mess.

Part Four: What just happened to Keonhee

I’m so angry at this post-MV stinger. It took me forever to wrap my brain around what is being suggested here, because I thought “hey wait, the red lighting represents darkness/hell, doesn’t it?? DOESN’T IT?? RBW???? I thought we just GOT OUT OF HELL????

So I leave the final interpretation in everyone's individual hands, but the thought that occurred to me today was: 

What if this entire scenario was a test of resolve and camaraderie, an illusion, a trick by the Devil (or that donger Helios, whatever). What if Keonhee was the only one who saw through this, and the only one who genuinely made it to Earth at the moment he appeared to have been dragged back to Hell? Because, as we know, Keonhee is a tactical genius, a monarch among the monarchs, and all his visual imagery in the MV suggested a sort of power cabal. 

What if he realized that they weren’t all strong enough to face the challenge of breaking this cycle, so he schemed to leave them behind, but leave them safe in the illusion, while he struck out with the power of God and anime on his side.

I... I think Keonhee is about to go kill and dethrone a God, y’all. 

[falcon-eye]

So I’ve been writing on my phone and this one almost made me lose my shit because when initially hitting “copy” I accidentally hit “paste” and deleted the entire fucking thing. Thank GOD gmail keeps a copy of your notes. Holy shit.

Again made for @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU

Veko and Eloise’s domestic adventures continue! I’m so happy people actually like them! I’ve grown so close to them both. This will be part of their bigger story, because since I’ve been writing on my phone they’ve been really small and when I expound on them I want to add more details before all this, like about Veko and Hamra and all that. So consider these teasers I guess? That’s why the endings feel so abrupt. Or that’s the excuse I keep telling myself. I don’t know. But when I finally post everything it will be on AO3, and I may put these little ficlets on AO3 as a fic as well.

Anyway hope you enjoy this one! Veko and Eloise return!

——————

The next time Veko saw Eloise was just as bizarre as the first. Except this time, she ended up helping him as opposed to him saving her father again. It was, somehow, even more awkward.

It was a few weeks of a full year later. What was supposed to just be one kikimora turned into a while nest, and despite this, the alderman barely wanted to pay him what he said he would for the one kill, let alone a whole cluster of them. He wouldn’t even let Veko inside. Luckily it had almost literally just stopped raining. But it was getting to the point where Veko was having to take a few calming breaths between the arguing; the alderman was a miserable prick, but Veko didn’t want to snap on the guy.

“You take what I give ye an’ be done with it!” the alderman shouted, reaching for the dagger at his belt. “Or you’ll get no coin and—“

“Husband!” a woman’s voice rang out. Veko and the alderman jumped; fucking rain and yelling, making Veko’s senses dull. A small force practically ran into him from the side and wrapped a hand around his elbow. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Uh—“

“Eloise!” the alderman exclaimed. Oh shit, that’s where Veko knew her from! “Nothing t’ worry about, this Witcher was jus’ leaving.”

Eloise turned to Veko, pressing closer. “You were?” she asked, faking concern to apparently Veko’s ears only. “But darling, you just got here!”

Veko’s mind went totally blank. “Hello?” he said dumbly.

The alderman’s eyes narrowed. “What?” he hissed. “Eloise, this man—“

“Is my beloved,” Eloise cut in. The alderman’s mouth shut with an audible click. “Last year, don’t you remember? The Witcher that saved my father from those drowners!”

Veko continued to stare at her.

“But—“ the alderman stammered.

“Now what’s with all this shouting over here?” Eloise barreled on.

“I sent this Witcher here to kill the kikimora roamin’ about,” the alderman said.

Eloise gave Veko’s arm a little shake to snap him back into the conversation. “I, uh,” he stammered. “It wasn’t just one. There was a whole nest.”

Eloise clapped a hand over her mouth and gasped dramatically. “A whole nest!” she exclaimed, drawing the attention of the townspeople nearby. “My goodness! I’m so glad it’s been taken care of! Oh, Lennart, I don’t know what we would have done had a whole nest of those beasts descended upon the town!”

People were starting to whisper. The alderman—Lennart’s heart rate sped up. “Oh, well yes, I, eh, was good indeed.” He looked like he was trying to both glare at Veko and keep the shock of Eloise’s outburst off his face at the same time—and failing.

Eloise finally let go of Veko and took the alderman’s hands. “Do you need help with the coin?” she asked innocently. “For the additional kikimora? I know things have been difficult since Nora left—“

“I can handle it!” Lennart exclaimed, eyes darting around at the growing mass of people who’d come to hear about the monsters. The alderman patted Eloise’s hands and laughed nervously. “I mean, that’s alright dear! I-I’ve plenty of coin for the Witcher here! Let me—I’ll go get it.”

Lennart raced back into his house and the crowd of people began to disperse, clearly boring of the now dwindling conversation. Veko was still not sure what the fuck just happened. But before he could ask, the alderman burst back outside and practically threw a pretty hefty sack of coin into Veko’s hands.

“Splendid!” Eloise exclaimed, and then turned to Veko one more. “Shall we go, darling?”

Veko nodded, letting himself be led away, once again, by this bizarre woman. But just before Lennart went back inside, Veko turned to him, held up the bag of coin, and winked. Lennart turned an ugly red and slammed the door behind him.

“Fucking weaselly prick,” Eloise hissed. Veko guffawed.

“Holy shit,” he said. “Where did you even come from? How did you find me? What—what the hell was that?!”

Eloise held up a hand and ticked answers off her fingers. “I was in town putting an order for paints in, saw your horse tied to a tree near the edge of town, and Lennart is a right prick but easy to exploit because of it. His wife Nora left a few weeks ago with some adventurer who came through town. She knew he’d been trying to bed any girl in sight and rightfully left.”

Veko pocketed the bag of coin. “Well I’m not going to complain,” he said.

Eloise tucked her hand into the crook of his arm again. “Are you planning on staying?” she asked. “Papa says it’s supposed to rain; he can feel it in his knees, he says.”

Veko started itching at his burns. “I, uh—“

“Right, coming with me then.”

Veko laughed again and Eloise guide the way.

——————————————————

For having apparently acquired Eloise and her home, this was the first time Veko had actually been inside. It was cozy, the walls painted a pale pink and yellow. The kitchen was warm and smelled amazing, Eloise having apparently left something cooking while she’d been out.

Peering into the next room, the apparent main room of the house, Veko found bottles of paints and an assortment of brushes set up at an easel against the far window (splattered in paint); blank canvases were piled behind it. But actually giving the room a look-around, his attention was immediately drawn to the walls lined floor to ceiling with the most beautiful paintings Veko had ever seen.

Landscapes of what Veko recognized as the local stream and the goat paddock out back, faces he didn’t recognize but could have started up a conversation with him with how real they looked, random assortments of everyday items put together to make some interesting structure—there was art everywhere.

Veko didn’t realize he was gaping until he heard Eloise chuckle. “Like what you see?” she asked.

“They’re amazing,” Veko replied, reaching towards a painting of a young boy.

“Don’t touch!” Eloise snapped; Veko jumped. “Sorry, sorry, they’re just—when they dry the colors fade of you touch them.”

“Sorry,” Veko said, shoving his hand into his pocket.

Eloise shook her head. “It’s always been a dream of mine to be a famous painter. Sometimes I get commissions or sell some in Oxenfurt. There’s a man who comes by to take them to market every now and then. Anyway, apparently my father went to bed early,” she said. “Stew?” Eloise chuckled. “I can paint a delicious meal but actually cooking it, eh...”

Now it was Veko’s turn to laugh. “I’d love some, whatever it tastes like,” he said. “And—thank you, for that shit with the alderman.”

Eloise waved him off. “Honestly? Bringing you up has been doing wonders around here,” she said.

As Veko sat down at the table, he remembered: “Did you call me husband?”

“How long ago was that and you’re just realizing that now?”

“In my defense, you came out of nowhere!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be this great warrior with heightened senses?”

Instead of answering, Veko leaned forward and smirked. “You think I’m great?”

Eloise stared at him for a moment before scoffing and shoveling a spoonful of soup into her mouth. “A great pain in my arse,” she said, “and you’ve only been here five minutes.”

“Might I remind you that you’re the one who dragged me here.”

“Yeah, because you looked like a bloody kicked puppy when I asked!”

“Kitten.”

Eloise blinked. “What?”

Veko tapped his medallion. “I’m from the School of the Cat, so I’d be a kitten.”

There was a moment of silence before Eloise let out a ‘PFFFT!’ and burst out laughing. “Did you really just—“

“I can leave right now!” Veko exclaimed, but there was no heat behind it. Eloise’s laugh was loud and hoarse, hardly ladylike or cute, but for some reason Veko liked hearing it. He wanted to hear it again.

Eloise wiped tears from her eyes. “Just eat your stew, Witcher,” she said.

“Veko,” Veko said. “My name is Veko.”

“Veko,” Eloise repeated, like she was getting used to how it sounded. “Nice to officially meet you, husband.”

Veko started scratching his burns. “Oh gods.”

Eloise smacked his hand like she’d done last year. “Stop doing that,” she snapped. “You’re going to make it worse.”

“I’ve had it for fifteen years; I don’t think it’s going to get worse.”

Eloise was quiet. “How—? Never mind.”

“No, it’s ok,” Veko reassured her. “My brother and I got into a fight. Or something. I can’t remember. But it was an accident, either way.”

“Is your brother also a Witcher?”

Veko nodded, having just stuffed his face with stew again. “Yah,” he said, his mouth full. He swallowed. “Identical twins, actually. Though my hair’s longer and he’s a bit bulkier than I am. His name’s Hamra.”

“Veko and Hamra,” Eloise said, “twin Cat Witchers, huh?”

“Yes ma’am,” Veko replied. Over the course of the meal, Veko explained the basics about the Cats and their caravan, how they worked and why they occasionally split up. Eloise, for her part, only asking questions when he’d finished a story and let him talk most of the conversation. Normally, talking is what Veko was used to, but both times he’d been with this woman she’d shocked him into silence. It was nice to be comfortable again.

Night settled quickly and when they finished their respective meals, Eloise took both their bowls to wash. “I’m going to set a cot up for you,” she said over her shoulder.

“What, no bed?” Veko teased.

“Other than my father's bed, there’s only one other and it’s mine,” Eloise replied.

“Not enough room for husband and wife?”

Eloise suddenly turned serious. Without even turning to him she said, “I’ll not bed you, Witcher.”

Veko held his hands up in surrender, even though her back was still turned. “Ok,” he said softly. “Just messing around, sorry. Didn’t mean to upset you, truly.”

Eloise sighed deeply and finally turned to him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just. I don’t want that. From anyone, ever. It’s—it’s hard to explain. Just thinking about... that... makes me... extremely uncomfortable.”

Veko nodded. “I understand,” he said. “I mean, I don’t, but I respect that.”

Eloise smiled. “Thank you,” she said.

“Is that why me being your husband is useful?” Veko asked; Eloise’s heart rate sped up. “I don’t have a problem with that!” he quickly assured her. “It’s just, last year you said something to that effect.”

Eloise looked him in the eye for a moment, maybe trying to assess if he was telling the truth? And then nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, that’s no problem here,” Veko said. “Gods know I only really come through this area once a year. I could swing by to keep up appearances.”

“And I could help you bleed Lennart dry of all his coin.”

Veko smirked. “I like the way you think.”

Eloise smirked back. “I think this is going to be a very successful partnership.”

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

alpha - drew m / roman r. [m]

Note:

Okay, so I’ve seen a few of these floating around now and then and I know that as a reader, I personally enjoyed the experience. And that little showdown between Roman and Drew really... Got to me and lives in my head rent free. My original idea for this was so much different than what this is going to shape up to be, but honestly, I feel like it works better this way. As much as I dislike even thinking Randy Orton’s name. Adding that particular variable into the mix made this a lot smoother than my original idea.

I’m actually really excited about this. It’s a choose your own smutty ending. I think the first person I saw trying this was @glowrioustrash​ and it was last year, for Halloween, I think? I enjoyed reading that, so I kinda wanted to try my own hand at it then. I just never got around to it. I even asked them if it was okay if I did it, back then, I think? Anyway... Last night’s Smackdown just gave me ample inspo to FINALLY get off my ass and try it, and make it a part of my year-long smut one shot series. Bet ya’ll thought I completely forgot about those, huh? Well I didn’t. So... here we are.

This part is the beginning to both of the smutty parts I’m going to write for this, so it’ll be linked on either post and either post will be linked here, once I have them all done and posted on the blog.

LIFE EDIT: Eventually, loves... I’ll get around to posting the smutty conclusions to both men. When I do, those will be linked to this post.

Enjoy this teaser, hopefully?

HUGE SHOUTOUTS TO : @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure and @schizoauthoress​ (your suggestions and that helpful input at the end, ahhh.. i owe you my life)  as well as @wardl0w because I have probably bugged the living hell out of all three of them as I attempted this and they were seriously huge helps to me with this.

Characters / Pairings:

Drew McIntyre / Female!omega reader - version 1, coming soon

Roman Reigns / Female!omega reader - version 2, coming soon

Warnings:

This is an attempt at me, writing alpha/omega again. So there will be knotting, mate bite marks, etc. In addition to that, there will be smut in the second part of these, whichever man you guys choose. There’s also hints of unwanted confrontation between Orton and Reader to start this off with and it gets... handsy, ewwww. But I had to have a way to work in both guys and make it work, so.. here we are. There’s also gonna be swearing. If I need to issue any other warnings those will be on the follow up posts.

Tagging:

@kyleoreillysknee​ @rampagewriting​ @writertoo18​ @thatnerdwriter​ @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​ @chasingeverybreakingwave​ @waywardwrestlewritingwaif​ @sassymox​ @champbucks​ @hungmanhorsecarriage​ @wardl0w​ @ryantaylorgirl​ @dilfmoxley​ @hotyeehawman​ @darbysallin​ @gabbynorth98​ @bec0m​

@linziland13​ @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ 

Other Stuff:

[ about my writing - masterlist - tag list doc ]

[ Roman ] or [ Drew ]

The scent was absolutely intoxicating. So understandably, when it filled my nose for the fourth time that night, I found myself standing. Making my way out into the hallway. Shoving people out of my way. Now, I wasn’t running or anything, because my grandma always told me it’s better to be chased than do the chasing but… I was power-walking.

And, as per usual, not paying a lick of attention to where I was going or my surroundings. I was solely focused on this mysterious scent because deep down inside, I knew exactly where it was going to lead me and damn it, I might put up one hell of a show about being independent, but heat cycles are hell and yeah, maybe I get lonely as of late. Maybe I’ve been longing to find my Alpha. Maybe I want the comfort of knowing that I’m not doomed to be forever alone and I do have a mate out there, somewhere...

It hit me then, around the same time that my thighs absolutely flooded with slick and I started to feel all woozy. I hadn’t taken suppressants. In fact, I had somehow managed to completely forget about my heat cycle’s speedy approach.

I mean, between moving and getting called up to the main roster, life has been a whirlwind for me lately. And tonight I hadn’t taken them before I came to the arena because I was excited. Tonight was my first night on the main roster. And in the excitement of that, I’d forgotten my suppressants… again.

To be fair, I haven’t ever really adhered to taking them steadily to begin with, so there you go...I never really had anyone constantly riding me to do so growing up. I was mostly left to my own devices, free to do what I wanted and make my own choices. So, yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo with a surprise heat cycle.

I shoved all the thoughts out of my noisy mind, pausing my walk to attempt focusing. Centering myself so that I could really fix on the scent and the direction it came from. And in my distraction, that gave Orton the perfect opportunity to slither up and corner me before I even had a chance to properly respond.

“Doll.”

“I have a name, you prick.” I rolled my eyes as I shrank away, nose wrinkling at the oversaturation of his scent as it invaded my nose and momentarily drowned out that heavenly aroma I’d been attempting to follow before I got distracted like a dumb bitch.

He chuckled, putting himself closer to me. Leaning down a little. And the audacity of this fucking man, he even had the nerve to reach up and move my hair away from my neck, his nose burying there as a lewd growl rose up from the depths of his chest.

I shoved at him and cleared my throat. “I was kind of in a hurry, do you mind knocking it the fuck off, jackass? Go sniff someone else, ew.”

“C’mon now, hon… You know what’s happening to you. You know you need me.”

“Like I need a bullet wound to the head, Orton. Fuck off.” I tried to duck beneath his arm but his other hand caught on my hip, keeping me pinned between him and the wall. By now, the scent of him was so overpowering and gross that my stomach was lurching. My consolation thought as I began to panic a little and tried to think of a quick way out of this confrontation was that maybe if I just threw up on the asshole, he’d get away.

Somehow, I didn’t see that happening. Orton doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who picks up on cues, verbal or non-verbal. Likes to assert that dominance he fancies himself to have.

He chuckled again.

Then suddenly, the scent was back and it was overpowering his stench. ,, Thank God.” I thought to myself, daring to mutter the words under my breath. I found myself peering over Randy’s shoulder, waiting on whoever the intoxicating scent I’d been following originally to show themselves.

And when he stepped out behind Randy and into view… If I thought I was wet before, whew… I was absolutely flooded beyond all hope now. I swallowed hard, biting my lip, locking eyes with him. Randy seemed to realize that my attention was wandering and this of course, only made him up his game.

His hips brushed boldly against mine and I cringed, pretending to gag when I felt the way Orton strained at his trunks. At the moment, Randy was completely and blissfully unaware as to what fate awaited him if he were stupid enough to turn around and honestly?

I’m enough of a bitch that I was hell bent on not alerting Randy to it, either. Instead, I took a few shaky breaths and stared up at him defiantly. “Why do I need you, Orton? They make vibrators bigger than that fun sized Tootsie Roll I’ve heard you’re packing every day of the week. I don’t need you. Or anyone.”

I knew that part was a lie because as all this was going on, my body was in a literal frenzy at the sight of my Alpha. My skin was tight, I could barely breathe. I was doing good to think straight and form words, honestly. I was a split second away from being overwhelmed. Because thanks to my Alpha showing themselves, my heat cycle went from a mild annoyance to almost intolerable within a split second.

I needed to get away from Randy. I needed to get somewhere and calm down. But I wanted to stay exactly where I was, curious to see if my Alpha was here for the reason I’d ventured out of hair and makeup in the first place.

So far, all he was doing was standing there. Watching my little confrontation with Randy. The tension in his body quickly gave away his feelings on the matter, however. And that’s what kept me quiet. Allowed me to let Randy keep digging his own damn grave.

Because it amused me.

And I needed to know that my Alpha was actually a good Alpha. I needed to know he’d protect me, no matter what. I also needed to know that he knew when to fuck off and allow me to handle things on my own.

I wanted to test his boundaries too, if I’m being perfectly honest.

Randy bit his lip, staring down at me as if I were food and he was a starving man. He raised a hand and rubbed his chin in thought, eyes not leaving mine for a second. “Why do you need me? Well, it’s like this, doll. I want you. And you’re not in the mindset right now to turn down any Alpha who offers himself up, just goin off of that sweet little scent you’ve got yourself right now. Just drop the act, princess. You and I both know that if you don’t find an Alpha, things are going to get real messy back here. Real fast. And I don’t think you want that now, do you hon?”

,, what I want is for you to back the fuck away. Find a tube of toothpaste or some cologne or a shower, something… anything to rid yourself of the stench you’ve got yourself.” the thought came but I was treading carefully, so I kept it internal, choosing only to give a soft laugh and roll my eyes at Randy instead.

“You know exactly zilch about me and my ‘delicate state’, first of all. Secondly? I wouldn’t choose you for my Alpha if you were the last one on earth.” I managed to get the words out. I managed to keep my eyes off of my actual Alpha, who still stood by watching intently, fists clenched tight now.

When he gave a quiet growl and started to approach, the flood in my panties only got so much worse.

And naturally, Randy thought this meant that something he’d said was getting through and that I was just playing hard to get… He pressed me against him, a hand going to my cheek as he gave a smug grin and let his gaze settle on me thoughtfully. “I knew it.”

“Like I said, Randy, you really don’t have a single fucking clue.” I tried to squirm free from his grasp but the fever raging in my body and the overwhelming scent of my true Alpha as he grew angrier and angrier combined with the slightest panic I was feeling at being fucking cornered like an animal by Orton, those were all working against me and I couldn’t extract myself.

His answer was to smirk and chuckle again. “You realize I can scent you and I know exactly what’s on your mind right now, right?”

“Good, then you know I want to stab you in the eyeball with my stiletto. Or reach down, grab that little shrimp dick of yours and twist til it comes off in my hands?” I quipped, a sweet smirk on my face as I boldly met his gaze. When I picked up on him, slowly inching his face closer to mine, I swallowed hard. It felt as if my throat were closing up and it was quickly becoming clear to me that if I thought I had this under control, I really didn’t. Randy wasn’t going to stop or go away. And he wasn’t going to let me get away either.

Desperately, I found my gaze shifting over Randy’s shoulder. I locked eyes with my Alpha and mouthed, “Any day now?…” almost impatiently. I wanted Randy the entire fuck away from me. And I was really starting to realize that I couldn’t achieve that on my own. I was fully in over my head.

Typical of me, I’m afraid.

I have to admit, the fact that my Alpha had yet to actually do anything had me in an internal uproar. It had me thinking that maybe I’d gotten the wrong read on him when I watched an earlier promo in the night.

Before I had a chance to consider it fully, that my Alpha might not be a good guy either, two things happened. One, Randy’s hand left my cheek and his mouth closed in even more, rough lips almost about to brush mine and disgusting stench for a moment blocking out the scent of my Alpha. His hand settled on my hip and he was pulling me against him. 

I planted a hand firmly against his chest, palm down. “What the--?” I didn’t even get to finish my sentence because from behind Randy, my Alpha’s throat cleared.

Randy grumbled to himself, picking up on the presence of my Alpha. But it was too late.

My Alpha locked eyes with me and nodded, indicating that I needed to move now, while Randy was distracted, and trust me, I wasted absolutely no time doing that. I extracted myself from between Randy and the wall I’d had my back pressed against and not even a split second later, my Alpha’s fist went smashing into Randy’s face and he had him pinned against the wall, a forearm across his throat.

And I didn’t think, I just ran.

I ran until I was out in the parking garage and then I stopped, catching my breath. It passed through my mind that maybe I should go back inside and at least attempt to be there when the brawl taking place in the hallway was over, but honestly?

I needed to get myself together. To get calm. To process and catch my breath and try to puzzle everything out.

And yeah, maybe parts of me were curious. Wondering if my Alpha would seek me out, or whether the incident in the hallway was just him stepping in because I asked…

The door to the garage flew open a few feet away and I rose up slightly, eyes darting around. The scent of my Alpha filled my senses and I bit my lip, taking a few shaky breaths right as he started to call my name. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came. His footsteps were getting closer and closer.

My heart was racing and his scent hung heavily in the air around us, making me dizzy as the heat took over in my body. He touched me, and almost the instant I felt his hand on my shoulder, I could feel my body cooling down. This wave of relief washed over me and all I could think was that if this is what his touch felt like, I’d absolutely love more of it.

I inhaled deep, preparing myself to turn around…

[ roman ] [ drew ]

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 20

lmao last time i did one of these was February there is a lot

Anonymous said: What's your collab process when you and other creators make packs? Like how do you decide to do it together and how do you split up the ideas and everything?

I’m going to answer another ask outside of this post that details this but I’ll answer this one here too. The way me and ayoshi do packs is not like a usual collab (in my opinion I don’t think people collab like this). I am good at making meshes. So usually I make a mesh for something and ayoshi makes a base texture that I can use to finish the base of the top/bottom and then we work together to fix any texture issues. Nothing we’ve made has ever been 100% mine or 100% his except for the hairs. Sometimes a mesh is easy but the texture requires a lot of work so it’s more work for him, sometimes I decide I want to try and texture something (like with this AxA I made textures for some of the clothes) and then ayoshi will clean the texture up for me and add some shading for me. So it’s a lot different than what I imagine most collabs are. But I love the way me and him work together and the ability to change something I don’t like because it isn’t just his, it’s ours. 

Anonymous said: I'm so excited for your new AxA collab that female hair is stunning!!

Anonymous said: I s2g if it werent for your cc my sims would just have to walk around naked lmao you literally make the game playable for me, so thank you ❤❤❤❤❤

thank you!!! Assuming the 2nd ask is about AxA too because that’s the only time I make clothes lmao. Excited for you guys to see everything this week. 

Anonymous said: Do you know anyone who recolours your hairs? They’re so gorgeous I’d love to see them in more colours! Xx

I usually reblog recolors of my hair at @aharris00britneyrecolors​.

Anonymous said: I'm a sucker for your sim Bella. Every time I see Bella as your hair models, I click and download

Anonymous said: Hi, sorry to bother, are you planning on uploading your Bella Sim Anytime soon? Love your content!

Bella is a queen, she’s a streamer in my game at the AH00B house. I don’t think I’m going to upload my Sims anymore though :( I have a ton of sliders and presets in my game and I have no idea which ones I use. I have 3 of the ones I know I use listed on my resource page but there are so many more and I don’t want to share them and they be broken in peoples games.

Anonymous said: will there be an axa this year im in desperate need of new clothes for my sims :(

I got this a few days ago before the teaser came out which I thought was funny fvghb yes there will be one

@lysssimpatico​ said: I was wondering if you might consider making the Elli hair have ombre accessory options. There aren't any cute curly ponytail ombres anywhere!

I think I tried making an ombre accessory for it when I made the hair and it didn’t fully work with the way I changed the UV maps. I’m sorry :(

Anonymous said: why the HELL is your dog so cute lemme have her please

Right? She’s an angel omg my dad is watching her while my foot heals but I miss her so much fghvbj 

Anonymous said: Your Daphne hair is so cute!!

thank you! 

Anonymous said: I have the feeling everyone knows what kind of Supernatural they would be if they were one, so what's yours?

I think I would want to be a ghost so i could fuck with people ya

Anonymous said: Does the Natilie hair need to be updated?

Nope, all the updated stuff is in my post that lists all the updated content off. Everything on my download page is up to date.

Anonymous said: Hi im just submitting an idea if you want to - i love your melanie hair and i was wondering if its possible to remove the accessory on it? im sorry if im bothering you im new to all this hope you have a nice day!!

hey :) I am pretty sure someone had to have made a hair similar to that already as it’s just the university ponytail with new ponytail on it. If not I could look into doing it sometime in the future. 

Anonymous said:I LOVE U 😍

and i love u

Anonymous said: Do you know if there’s any hair accessories (like ones that change the color of it) that work with your Elli Hair? ❤️

It comes with an accessory that changes the elastic :)

Anonymous said: Hellooo! first of all, how are you? how´s your day? i´m sorry but, do you know if someone makes maxis match hairs based in kpop videos? I´m searching for that bull all i can find is alpha hair and i´m not into alpha cc :( Thank you very much! have a great day!

I’m not sure if there are people that specifically only do that but I think there are a handful of creators that get inspired from kpop/music videos and make hairs similar to that. Cause we use EA meshes most of the time the hairs aren’t going to look exactly like the inspiration though. Like I have two hairs that are based off Go Won from loona (Go Won hair and Kelsey Hair) but i don’t think you can tell that just from looking at them. 

Anonymous said: I downloaded the new version of the sydnie braids but my game says they're corrupted and won't let me play with them in my mods folder

try to redownload and they should work, I haven’t had any other issues. 

Anonymous said: hey, i was just wondering whether you did or are thinking of doing eyelashes at any point

I am not lmao I don’t think I would be able to make my own eyelashes

Anonymous said: you are incredibly prolific. constantly amazed and delighted by your high-quality work. have a good day king

thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: aaaahh I know this is probably a long shot but I was wondering if you had the quartz eyes psd? I've been trying to find it but all of the links I've stumbled onto are dead :( thank you in advance!! ♥️ and no problem if you don't have it or can't share it :)

here is a link to a post that has the PSD

Anonymous said: the mica hair looks so cute 🥺 you’re amazing

thank you! It’s named after the main singer from Magdalena Bay ;n; i love them

@whendowestopcaring​ said: I love, love, love your work!! + your blog, aesthetic, etc. Keep it up!

thank you!!!! pink and blue all the way bb

@marsupialmother​ said: Not an ask, just a comment. All you stuff is so beautiful. Thank you for being such an amazing creator!!!

no, thank you for sending me this! I appreciate it a ton <3 have a wonderful day

Anonymous said: How long have you been creating CCs for?

I recolored a get together cardigan in Dec 2015 and started making hair in November of 2016 to promote Britney Spears lmao. So around 4-5 years. 

Anonymous said: hi!! just wanted to say i love the item index download option! thank you for your awesome cc and organization :)

You’re welcome! item indexes make things so much easier I agree, happy to help simplify things for downloaders. also they look nice so that’s a plus for me. 

Anonymous said: i love your cc, they are really beautiful but can you do more male hair cc? im just asking

I prefer doing female stuff tbh, I feel like I’m better at it and I get more ideas. But i did 4 male hairs in this upcoming AxA 2020 pack and a bunch of male clothes. I’m sorry I can’t do more :( I just don’t get inspired to make much male stuff personally.

Anonymous said: what happened to Ayoshi???

he’s in the basement working on AxA, don’t ask.  he actually just doesn’t like being on Simblr anymore but still likes making CC with me, so we just make cc on call sometimes when we get bored of a game we’re playing. he sends his regards from the basement of AH00B studios <3

Anonymous said: hello i love all your cc and you’re my favorite creator, i have a question, are you planning to make some more clothes anytime soon?

getting these while working on AxA was so funny because there are like 80 new clothes for male/female sims in it and i was like... these people don’t know what they have coming their way. thank you!

Anonymous said: 💃 How you make all your item index for your pack and collab? 💃

I make mine in Word using tables and then save as PDF. Here’s a peak at the AxA 2020 one

Anonymous said: am i on drugs or have u uploaded an eco lifestyle kids dress conversion? i remember seeing it so vividly, (the zip up kids dress), but maybe it was another creator... lol

I think that was from grimcookies! Here is a link to his eco lifestyle add on set that he made. 

Anonymous said: would you happen to know how to get rid of the weird gloss that can be on some cc hairs?

if you download Sims4Studio and open the package you can make the specular blank but that could cause issues in your game if you play on certain graphic settings. So do it with caution. 

Anonymous said: Awww we have very similar life aspirations, I just want a boring/calm life, settle down with a wife (I'm a lesbian) and become an lit teacher.

yup yup boring lifes are where it’s at. Like i just want something simple lmao if I wanted exciting I wouldn’t do teaching. 

Anonymous said: hi! i hope youre doing well! could you please tell me wcif the two toned jeans on the sim in your eco lifestyle addon collection?

They’re in AxA 2020! We have had so much of the stuff done for a while so i’ve been using it in previews for a while lmao. 

Anonymous said: WAIT is the Love Bomb palette named after the Fromis_9 song???

yessss ayoshi is their #1 fan