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prompt 16 with Logan on the fluff list! thinking that their messing around and reader accidentally confesses and it’s a toooootal love bomb after that
Confession | DP&W!Logan Howlett x F!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2.7k…did I get carried away? Yes.
Author’s Note: Okay but why am I sobbing at my own writing? This request was so cute, thank you for this nonie!
To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.
“Wade when I said we should watch The Wizard of Oz, I didn’t mean that you need to dress up as Dorothy and act out the entire movie!” You exclaimed in the living room, trying your hardest to suppress a laugh as Wade twirls in front of the couch. The blue and white checkered dress swirled in the air as he spun, arms wide out as he threw his head back. In the background, droning on was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” to which Wade decided it was the perfect time to lip sync. Days like this are what you cherished most, especially when things were a bit shit all around. The world wasn’t as safe as it used to be, but in this little apartment – it was comfort. Solace, everything you all needed to wait out the storm down below.
“You may not have wanted that, but they did.” Wade lets out nonchalantly, whispering the last part at the brick wall, causing you to look around him. Every so often he would stare off into a hidden camera, like it was The Office, speaking to the “audience” about what was going on. At first it was funny, charming even – but when it got to be quips about you, it was almost instinctive how you needed to roll your eyes. Now? It was just another thing about Wade you admired, how he could keep himself entertained like this and forget how things were outside, there was no judgement but pure love and laughter. Shaking your head with a smile, you sigh out as you stand from the couch, stretching your back. “Whatever you say, Wade.” As you felt your tailbone crack, you smiled softly at the release. It felt nice to get up and walk, to stretch out a bit before engaging more with Wade’s antics of today. It was endearing to see him doing this – you knew everything was getting to him as well, and you both needed a good laugh. What you silently hoped for though, was for Logan to join the two of you.
It was obvious your feelings for him, Wade called that out the second you both first met. The way your eyes went from thin slits of weariness to full blown hearts was enough to make his head spin – Logan on the other hand seemed to have no effect. But that’s what he wanted you to think. It had been months since your apartment flooded, causing you to move two floors up with Wade, Logan, Laura and Al. But it had been the best months of your life, creating new friendships and hoping to blossom out of the awkward phase with Logan. A stoic, quiet man who truly needed this – needed a friend – needed to know he was loved. You wanted to help him with that, if only you could get over this little hump of self-doubt. It was a silent battle you faced internally; Rejection scared you and hurt more than anything else – but you’d respect the decision if it happened. The struggle was the worst part of it, how it ate you alive. Wade would always try to help quell it but alas, your mind could be very fickle.
As you made your way into the kitchen, you rounded the counter, back facing towards the living room as you hummed along with the song. Lost in your own little world, you didn’t notice when the bedroom door to the left started to slowly open, your head down to face the coffee maker as you stuck your mug underneath, using the hot water for your tea. It wasn’t until you saw something sparkling out of the corner of your eye that it caught your attention. You knew Mary Puppins had a flashy little get up, since Wade spent four days bedazzling her suit, but then you remembered Laura had taken her out for a walk a few minutes prior. Cocking your brow, you turn slowly to see what that shine is – not expecting to see what you did. “Holy shit,” you mumble out, your eyes shooting wide open. There was no proper way to react except shocked, your body freezing at the sight.
Logan was home after all, hiding away in his room. But what you didn’t realize was that Wade had gotten him to dress up for the movie. Standing there in his gray and black flannel, gray sweatpants, and white socks was your Logan – face covered in silver face paint, sparkling against the orange hued lighting of the kitchen. You stopped to stare at him, admiration making your heart grow as Wade let out a dramatic gasp, his hands coming up to cover his mouth. “Robocop has arrived!” Wade cheered, hoping over the back of the couch and standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. At the comment, Logan growled in Wade’s direction, sending him straight daggers. “Don’t give me that look, Pookie. You know what you signed up for.”
Logan could help but groan as his gaze shifted back towards you; The silvery color making his eyes glow brighter than usual. A soft green, like a meadow on a cloudy day always stared back at you. But today, it was Emerald City. The glints of golden flecks and little silvery tendrils drifted through his irises, causing your heart to race. You didn’t mean to gaze so deeply into his eyes, finding your own eyes losing focus the further you delved in. You couldn’t tell but Logan’s heart was racing a mile a minute under his shirt, his claws quivering inside his hand. “You’re taking shine bright like a diamond to a whole new level, Lo.” You let a bright smile cascade over your lips as you looked up at him, tilting your head to the side to admire his application skills. Under all the silver you could see a gentle pink blush creeping up his neck, fanning over the little exposed patch of skin beneath his flannel. It wasn’t everyday that Logan blushed – but with you, he couldn’t stop. Even at your teasing, he was a mess.
“His idea.” Logan snickered as he pointed to Wade. “Dipshit told me we were all dressing up as characters.” Of course he did, because that is just how Wade is. He always says one thing, then never tells anyone else. In a way you knew he said it for you, knowing this was your favorite movie and all. To have Logan dress up like the tinman was all for you. A simple admission you made not too long ago about how he was your childhood crush; Convincing Logan to dress up as him only seemed right. Wade could tell you both were mutually pining over one another, and he was tired of the will they won’t they. All he knew was that he wanted his two best friends to be together, to be happy; He knew you’d be good for one another. Wade blew Logan a kiss as he spun in his dress, twirling his way through the kitchen and living room.
“Wade you dirty dog.” You laugh as you roll your eyes, shifting your focus back to your now freshly brewed tea. Taking the mug away from the coffee machine, you bit your bottom lip as you giggled, nudging Logan with your shoulder. “When we need a disco ball for Al’s 70th birthday, we will just strap you to the ceiling and spin you.” You winked in his direction as you slightly raised a brow, indicating that you were joking, but also being a tease. Logan liked when you did that, finding it invigorating how his heart would pound out of his chest. A hearty, sincere laugh slipped from his silvery lips as he narrowed his gaze. Leaning against the countertop, Logan crossed his arms over his eyes, his lips turning up into a challenging smirk. “Oh yeah? You think so, beautiful?” He let out without question, tilting his head to the side as he eyed you up and down. He could hear, smell, how hard your heart was racing as he leaned closer, how your palms grew clammy, how your body shivered under his gaze. There was something so primal clawing its way beneath his skin; He wanted all of you, to be the only one to make you feel this way. “I know so!” You shot back without hesitation, trying to keep your cool.
Logan thought it was cute, how hard you were trying to fight yourself off. Trying so hard not to spill the beans or say what was on your mind. It was a game of hardball, and Logan was going to come out on top like always. Huffing with amusement, he placed his hand softly on your shoulder, letting his wade palm graze down your arm, fingers drifting over the expanse of your wrist. Leaning closer to you, only a hairsbreadth away, Logan whispered as he held your hand lovingly. “Well what if I…” You were so entranced with how he was coming onto you, months of tension finally reaching its peak as the knife cut through it, releasing that hold on you. Closing your eyes as you prepped yourself for what he was about to do next, you pursed your lips instinctively, waiting to feel him on you. Alas, that never came.
In a singular second, Logan roughly pulled you close to him as he rubbed his face all over yours. The burn of his beard across your cheeks made you yelp out, the slippery feel of the face paint flowing over your skin made you laugh. A fit of giggles and playful pushing ignited the room, filtering out the sound of Mary Puppins and Laura coming back from their walk. You couldn’t breathe from how hard you were laughing, trying to muster up the energy to speak as Logan held you close to him. Though you felt his touch burning through your clothes, not one of a friendly nature but one of pure passion. The way he gripped your hip with one hand, and the side of your neck with the other. The way his face slid over yours, it was pure love. Your mind was reeling with endless thoughts of what it would be like to be in love with Logan, never realizing how you spoke aloud. “Ohmygod, I’m in love with an adult man-child.” The words fell out before you had anytime to think about it, not realizing what you had said as you fought yourself through the giggle fit. You didn’t realize what had come out, until Logan stopped.
The tension in the air was palpable, your heart pounding in your ears as you caught your breath. Logan stopped the ministrations on your face, his grip to your neck and hip growing harder, steadier as his breathing picked up. “In love!?” Wade and Laura yelled out from the living room, Mary Puppins gave a little bark as well. In that moment you stopped, your eyes growing wide as you panned upwards. “In love?” Logan asks, his eyes turning from a vibrant green shade to mocha, his pupils blackened. Meeting his gaze, you swallowed back the words I’m kidding, because in reality you were not. It was out there now, there was no taking it back even if you had tried. There wasn’t anything that would make this moment easier to digest, it was all or nothing. “Shit.” That was your only response. The movie in the background grew quiet. Laura, Wade, and Mary Puppins stared at you with wide eyes, trying to process it themselves. Al on the other hand sat by the open window and laughed, keeping his head towards the street below.
All you wanted to do was run; Fight or flight kicking in made you want to scream. It wasn’t the way you announced it that made you scared, nor nervous – but how Logan was staring at you. His once playful demeanor was now clouded with something unreadable, enough to make tears well in your eyes. At the end of the day, if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings, and you both could live with that. But right now, you wanted to be alone, to calm down from the panic rising in your chest. “No, no running away.” Logan whispered for you, and you only. His hardened grip on your neck moved to gently hold your face, his thumb sweeping against your cheek. He could see the fear in your eyes, the unknowing – he wanted to settle that for you. Logan leaned forth to press his forehead against yours. The switch of Logan gave you whiplash; Usually he wasn’t this affectionate with his actions, always keeping to himself, not thinking himself worthy of love. But today, that all changed. “Sweetheart…do you mean that?” Logan’s voice broke slightly as he asked, his own eyes welling with tears.
“Of course she does! She’s in lov-“ Wade began, not even giving you a second to explain yourself. Logan grew tense at hearing him speak. He never pushed his face away from yours as he growled out into the room. “Shut the fuck up!” A shiver ran down your spine at the dominance in his voice, your hands instinctively going out to hold onto his hip as you steadied your breathing. “Ohhh my god,” was all Wade could respond with as he sunk back into the couch, Laura holding her hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t say anything more. It was now or never; Forever hold your peace or tell Logan how you really felt and see where it led from there. Taking a deep breath, you nodded against Logan’s forehead, a shaky breath exhaling from your parted lips. “I do.” The words felt right coming out, there was no line of awkwardness or reluctance to them. It was the truth, and now it was known.
You refused to open your eyes as stare at Logan, hearing the deep inhalation he made at your comment. You knew if you opened your eyes tears would fall, and you were not about to have that. Nothing came to mind on what you could say, nor could you move from where you were planted. Internally you begged someone to say something, to break the silence. Logan must’ve heard your internal thoughts. “Finally, didn’t know how long we were going to play that game, sweetheart.” Logan let out, causing you to open your eyes. He extended himself to his full height as he held your face, peering down into your soul with a genuine, loving smile. It was in that moment his words fully clicked inside of your brain, the mutual pining was over. “I’ve been in love with you since day one. I could tell you were too, but I didn’t want to come on too strong, if you weren’t ready. I wanted it to be on your terms, when you felt it was right.” Logan’s word held you tightly, holding you close to show you just how loved you are, how cherished you are, how appreciated you are. You could tell Logan had more he wanted to say but, actions speak louder than words.
Surging forth, you pressed your lips lovingly against Logan, feeling how the world faded around you. The dull, orange lighting of the kitchen burnt out around you. The hum of the coffee maker, fridge, and lights became silent. The only thing that could be heart was your heartbeats, merging into one. Around you swirled endless love and possibilities, flecks of the brightest yellows and blues flowing out like clockwork, binding you two together. This feels so right. Everything felt so right. Logan felt so right. Nothing in life ever felt like this, nothing ever felt meant to be. Only now did you realize, the love you have been waiting your entire life for, finally arrived. In the form of Logan Howlett, The Wolverine. Your hero.
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Hugh Jackman Taglist: @anamiad00msday @coowayeoo
Logan Howlett Taglist: @livelaughl0ve3 @mehjustalasshere @allen-444
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𝕋𝕖𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖
✞ synopsis: you've come back to the small town you grew up in for a visit. though your relationship with the catholic church and faith in general have been strained since you were younger, you find yourself drawn back to the church... or more specifically... the new priest... you aren't ready to share your secret sin with him... but you may not be able to help yourself.
✞ pairing: sylus x curvy fem!reader
✞ rating: 18+ (minors do not engage)
✞ cw: religion (catholicism), priest, lapsed faith, adultery, priest kink, suicidal mention, dead parent, sex, masturbation, drugs (marijuana), mentions of other drug use, drinking (more will be added when/if they arise)
✞ disclaimer: this fiction explores a romantic relationship between a lapsed Catholic and an unconventional priest. it is not designed to be inflammatory or critical. catholic authors were asked to participate in the process. we hope you enjoy it, but we know that these topics can be sensitive, so please skip this fiction if it will in any way offend you.
✞ chapter: 5 / ?
✞ co-authors: redbriony, confuseddoughnut (they do not have tumblr)
✞ ao3 link: here
✞ chapter synopsis: a series of risky decisions gets you into more than one kind of trouble.
✞ index: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5
Please comment on this post if you want to be added to the tag list for updates!
The next few days were spent in the confines of your childhood home, your bed almost becoming your permanent address as you thought about that kiss. The kindness and how the words expressed resonated with you in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. But more than anything, how the kissing Father Sylus had made you feel - the tenderness of it all. But surely you were getting ahead of yourself and even found yourself a little disgusted with yourself over the whole encounter.
But he had just been so close, too sweet, and his face was so beautiful, and all you wanted to do was press kisses all over him.
But it’s wrong, isn’t it?
Something inside you rebelled against the idea for obvious reasons. Any resolve you had would disintegrate when you decided to act or speak on it.
But then, one evening, Rafayel called. You barely answered in time because part of you was hoping it would be someone else.
“Hey babe, just wanted to check up and see how you’re doing. Haven’t heard from you.”
You blinked, frozen for a moment as you twisted into a sitting position on your bed. “Fine. What’s up?”
He chuckled, and you weren’t sure if he was annoyed. You felt slightly upset at yourself for not reaching out when you could have. A normal rekindled friendship typically involves a friend being there for the other, especially after what he revealed to you. But before you could follow up with an apology, he spoke again.
“Nothing in particular. I wondered if you wanted to get some of the old gang together and go up into the woods like we used to.”
You knew the place he was walking about, the old lumber yard out in the middle of the woods where the kids from town used to gather. It had been a favorite spot to hang out, build bonfires, other illegal shit teenagers liked to do when they wanted to get away from their parents.
“What do you mean ‘the gang?’” You asked.
“Well, uh, it’s just gonna be you and me. When I tried to call anyone else from school, they either laughed at me for being back here or didn’t answer.” You could hear his nervous laugh when his words cut off. “Still a small town, and everyone is the same.”
You couldn’t resist, though. Even if you were a bit too old for that behavior. Reliving your past was one of the reasons you returned home in the first place. “I have nothing better to do, so yeah. Sounds great.” You paused, wondering if you had said the right thing, hoping that Rafayel understood what you meant. “Sorry, I’ve been…not myself lately. Lot’s on my mind.” You rubbed the back of your knee with your fingers before standing, keeping the phone to your ear as you crossed the room to where your suitcase lay open on a chair.
“I get it.” He responded with a laugh, light and airy in a way that made you smile. “Life is pretty shitty, especially for people like us who - well, you know.” There was a hint of apology in his tone as you heard him open and close a door. “This is the perfect opportunity for me to listen to you now.”
“I kissed the priest.”
“Fucking, what? The hot one?”
You sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward a bit, a bit shaken now with your admission. Even though you had spoken it out loud, you still felt as if you couldn’t totally come to grips with the situation.
“Well, yeah. He’s the only one.” You said, curling your hand around the hem of the comforter. “And I’m also in love with a married man. I’m losing it. This is what happens to people who don’t peak in high school or something!”
Rafayel said nothing, obviously processing. Then he began to chuckle, which turned into a laugh. Then, he let out the most ridiculous roar of laughter.
“Wow,” he managed to gasp out after a bit, only to laugh again. You could imagine how his shoulders probably shuddered as they shook and the grin plastered on his face. “Okay, once Talia goes to bed, I’ll grab her car and pick you up. And then you’re explaining this whole damn story to me. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“I can’t even comprehend this,” Rafayel breathed after you recounted your tale of how you ended up back home, finishing off with the way Father Sylus had kissed you and the way your panic overtook you. He shook his head, hands clenching and unclenching, brow knitted as he looked at you.
The two of you sat in Talia's car, parked outside the old lumber yard in the woods. The empty dirt parking lot was bathed in the moon's light peeking through the clouds. The bowl on the dash between you both served as a reminder that some things hadn’t changed and that this was the first place you had smoked weed.
Rafayel picked it up, fingers curling around the glass as he brought it to his lips. The flick of the lighter illuminated his face in the dark car, shadows dancing across his cheekbones as he inhaled deeply. You couldn’t blame him for his reaction.
When he passed it to you, you mirrored his actions, feeling the smoke fill your lungs and the earthy taste coating your tongue. You held it in briefly before exhaling slowly, leaning back into the passenger seat.
“And Xavier asked me out.” You said.
Your friend’s face contorted in disbelief before he let out a short burst of laughter. “You’re joking, right?”
“Nope.” You giggled and looked out towards the old building before you, wondering how he could think you were making any of this up.
“Damn, you have three guys chasing after you, begging for scraps. I bet the doctor has loads of money.” Rafayel clicked his tongue thoughtfully. “This is every girl’s dream! I don’t understand what the problem is.”
And as if it suddenly hit him all at once, he started to laugh, and the laugh turned out to be contagious. You both soon ended up in a fit of giggles inside the growing colder car.
“I mean, what am I supposed to do? Ask him to leave his wife?” You huffed.
“Relax! Think about it. People get divorced all the time.” The high was definitely setting in as Rafayel rested his head on the back of the seat. “And if he’s as hopelessly infatuated with you as you said, he might do it anyway.”
“Rafayel! That’s horrible.”
He leaned in and playfully nudged your shoulder, saying, “I can’t help but be honest with you. Who would I be if I wasn’t?” He caught the look on your face and rolled his eyes, flicking the lighter absentmindedly. “Or, you know, you could just call him up and give him a piece of your mind. Maybe that will push him right in the direction of Silver Springs.”
You rolled your eyes and muttered, feeling the familiar laziness creeping into your body. You barely resisted the urge to snort at his suggestion. “The Fleetwood Mac song?”
“Yeah, Stevie cursed him, you know. Lindsey. In ‘97. Hexed him right on stage in front of everyone. So if I were you, I would call him up and tell him what direction he can shove his thumb up his own ass.”
You laughed again, shaking your head at Rafayel’s ridiculous suggestion. The pot was doing its job, making everything seem way funnier than it should be.
“I don’t know, man,” you sighed, sinking further into the seat. “Even if Zayne does leave his wife for me, which would be so wrong, what about Father Sylus? I mean, I kissed a priest, for Christ’s sake!”
Rafayel took another long drag from the bowl before setting it between you in the cupholder, smoke once again billowing in the car as he responded. “Hey, forbidden love is the hottest kind. And I figure if I’m going to get any entertainment out of this town, it’s gonna be from you at this point. So just call the fucking doctor while I’m still high.” With that, he shoved your shoulder, and you turned and shoved him right back.
You grumbled as you reached for your phone, unlocking it as the smoke settled around you. You scrolled through your contacts until your thumb was right over the number. It was so tempting, especially with the encouragement of the young man beside you - but you stayed still.
You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you.
“Fuck it.” You breathed deeply, heart hammering, and hit the phone symbol. As soon as you heard the first ring, you nearly jumped.
Why do I do this? A mantra in your mind, like a worm in your skull, beating against the insides repeatedly with a tiny hammer.
You waited, putting the phone on speaker so the idiot beside you could hear. After a few long rings, you were about to hang up when there was a click. An unfamiliar voice picked up instead of the one you were used to, and the wave of anxiety almost made you dizzy.
“Hello?” Her voice was soft, not as straightforward or bubbly as you had imagined she would sound.
Silent, you swallowed thickly, and along with the fear, you felt the ache settle in once again. The sharp guilt began coiling around you. You looked toward Rafayel, who suddenly looked just as panicked as you. He quickly grabbed your phone, raising an index finger to his lips and giving you a stern look.
“Hi! Uh, I’m calling about your car's extended warranty!” Rafayel quickly stated, cutting off whatever the woman was about to say next. Then, he turned and threw your phone out of the open window.
The two of you stared at each other blankly. Then, all the adrenaline hit you at once, and the numb haze obliterated.
“Oh my God, fuck!” You managed to say, trying and failing to fight the delirious laughter that began wrapping through your body. You barely noticed your vision clouded with tears, and your next laugh came out mixed with a sob. “That was his - and you just - HA! You threw my phone out the window!”
“Listen, Y/N, I don’t think that was a good -”
“FUCK.” You kicked the dashboard with your foot, the glove compartment popping open and spilling its contents onto the car's floor. “How could you throw my phone out the window like that?” you cried, turning to glare at Rafayel through your tears.
He held up his hands defensively. “I panicked, okay? I didn’t want you to do something you’d regret later. That was his wife on the phone, not him! What were you going to say to her anyway?”
“I don’t know!” you wailed, burying your face in your hands. The high rapidly dissipated, ruined, and replaced by a growing despair. “I’m a horrible person. What am I doing with my life?”
Rafayel sighed and scooted closer, draping an arm lazily around your shaking shoulders. “Hey, you’re not a horrible person. Do you want a Xanax?”
“No, I don’t want Xanax! Go get my phone!”
“Okay, okay! Just chill out.” Rafayel moved to open the car door but paused, a muttered curse leaving his mouth before he hurriedly attempted to clean up the drug paraphernalia scattered on the console. Then he turned just in time to have a flashlight shone in his face. In all of your agitation, it appeared that neither of you had noticed the other vehicle that had pulled up.
“Hi, Tara.” Rafeyel greeted the deputy at the window with a thinly veiled hint of irritation as he shielded his eyes with the back of one hand. “Good to see you.”
Tara looked at him, and then her eyes landed on you and widened slightly, her mouth parting as she put the two of you together. “Really? You’re back home?”
Tara was only a couple years younger than you, and there was no surprise that this was her chosen profession. You remembered how she used to hang around all the time in high school, staying behind and hoping you’d ask her to hang out to go to a party. Even back then, it was as if you couldn’t shake her, the girl pursuing anything and getting into anything she could think of.
“So, uh.” Tara leaned over and peeked into the car, leaning her free hand on the window. Perfectly manicured nails and the same cherry red lipstick; her features and skin soft. “What are you guys doing?”
You started to laugh again, unable to resist the odd delight rippling through you. Rafayel tensed, and his lips pressed together as he looked at you in warning.
“Nothing, officer.” You answered with a grin. “Don’t you have more important things to do? What’s all we ever did when we came up here?”
Rafayel slapped a hand to his forehead. Tara scoffed and looked around nervously, as if confused as to how you reached the admission you realized shouldn’t have slipped out of your mouth so easily. Her sudden lack of boldness reminded you of the faux courage she often displayed when she was younger, which was why you were never that close with her.
As long as you’ve known Talia, she was the type to call the priest whenever something happened. Even though you partially expected it, you were still on edge seeing Father Sylus walking into the tiny police station with her.
You were sitting on a bench with Rafayel, feeling angry and frustrated, and your high completely came down when the two of them walked in. Your head snapped up at the sight of the tall man next to Talia, looking composed and put together while she looked like she had just taken a sleeping pill. It truly was no surprise to see Talia rushing in to rescue Rafayel from whatever trouble he had gotten himself into.
“Rafayel.” Talia’s small, five-foot frame was in front of her nephew. “You…” She rubbed her temples and let out a groan.
“Sorry, Talia.” He held up his hands, which were cuffed together, a bit of a chuckle leaving his mouth as if he thought this was the most amusing thing that could possibly happen to him.
You averted your gaze again, the memory of the kiss burning in your mind, and you couldn’t bear to look up. A fresh wave of shame washed over you. Talia’s exasperated voice faded into the background as your heart pounded.
“Come on, let’s get you two out of here,” Talia finally said with a sigh. She turned to Tara, who was seated at the desk nearby. “I’m assuming there won’t be any charges? They were just being stupid, right Tara?”
Tara glanced between you and Rafayel, conflict flickering across her face. You could see the gears turning in her mind, weighing the social capital to be gained by letting this slide versus following protocol. After a tense beat, she sighed and waved a dismissive hand.
“Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s go fill out the paperwork.”
Talia nodded curtly and followed Tara out of the room, and an awkward silence descended, thick and lingering, although you couldn’t pinpoint the cause of it. You kept your gaze fixed on the scuffed linoleum, tracing patterns with your eyes.
“Hey, Father,” Rafayel said, “What’d Talia say when she called you?”
“She asked for a ride, said she would kill you, and needed someone to perform the last rites.”
Rafayel let out a short laugh at Father Sylus’ dry response, but you remained silent, still unable to bring yourself to look at the priest. Your mind kept replaying that moment - the gentle press of his lips against yours. How could you face him now, after what transpired between you? What would you even say?
“Right.” Rafayel hummed, “Suppose I should thank you then. Potentially saving my soul and all that.” He nudged you with his elbow, “Ain’t that right, bestie?”
“Yeah, thanks.” You mumbled, only lifting your head when Tara appeared in front of you to remove the handcuffs from your wrists. Talia moved before her nephew, jingling her car keys before dropping them into his hands.
“Let’s get out of here before I change my mind, Rafayel,” She grumbled. He flashed her a cheeky grin but wisely kept his mouth shut this time.
“I can take Y/N home.” Father Sylus nodded toward you once you stood and shook out your wrists. Nervously, your eyes flickered to Rafayel, who looked terrified for you for a brief second before mouthing the words, 'Touch his butt.'
A moment later, you found yourself outside the police station next to the priest who had consumed your thoughts since that ill-advised kiss. You shivered in the harsh autumn breeze that cut straight through the light jacket you wore. You risked a brief glance at Father Sylus. He stood without a jacket, radiating heat, and for a moment, you wanted to press against him to feel that warmth.
You found your words. “I - I can get home on my own,” you said, a bit harsher than was necessary. “I’m an adult the last time I checked.”
Father Sylus paused at the bottom of the steps and turned around. There wasn’t any tension or hesitation in his tone, just like the other night. He was just genuinely inquiring. “How are you feeling, Y/N?”
Shivering slightly and wrapping your arms around yourself, you looked toward the man and offered a smile. Your voice had the faintest tremor as you tried to joke, “I’ve been better.”
Father Sylus glanced at you from the corner of his eye as you fell into step beside him, releasing a little snort at your sarcasm, a gesture that, for some reason, sent a hot rush of awe through you.
“That’s all right, Y/N.” He said with a sad smile. “We can talk about it later if you want. For now, the important thing is getting you home.” Reflexively, his hand came to rest on the small of your back as he steered you toward the parking lot.
Just the brief caress of his warm hand on your back made your thighs clench. It didn’t mean anything, you told yourself, but your stomach churned as the sweet electricity of his touch rushed through you.
Stop it, you told yourself. He was just showing you where he had parked. Yet his lingering warmth was flooding your senses. Swallowing thickly, you pinched your brows together and hoped you didn’t actually upset him in any way.
“Should I be worried?” he asked.
“About what?”
“The things you’re into.”
Stopping, a hard lump formed in your throat, and the entire world fell into a hush. The nearly pitch black parking lot of the police station, the night chill, the beautiful priest that just - was he teasing you, now?
“Again. I’m in my twenties. Weed,” you snapped, emphasizing the last word, “Isn’t a big deal.”
His palm felt scorching through your jacket as he closed a hand around the top of your shoulder, squeezing gently.
“Hey now,” He said, making your breath hitch as you stiffened slightly. “It was just a question.”
You said nothing, simply sliding into the passenger seat of Father Sylus’s car.
A quiet settled between you two in the car, then. All you could do was look out the window at the dark neighborhood and overanalyze every word, every touch, trying to pinpoint exactly how you felt. But how could you even explain that the man beside you gave you the thrill of wanting to do something terrible? Because there had been a moment with him, something that broke the reality of the relationship the two of you had. It didn’t necessarily feel awful, more like an unspoken truth waiting to be expressed.
You tried to control your emotions and thought process, registering that you were in front of your house now. Just as you were going to say goodnight and grab the door handle, you heard Father Sylus speak.
“I owe you an apology for the other night.” The quiet murmur was easy to miss, but you did everything possible to hang onto the sound. A mix of breath. You looked back at him, trying to catch his eyes in the darkness only illuminated by the porch light from the distance.
“I don’t want to make things difficult for you.” He continued, “I’d still like for us to talk.”
As tempting as it was to open the car door and leave, the ache in your belly nearly overwhelmed you. A terrible, crushing sense of longing settled in. Knowing where the lines were drew a blank in your mind. Where the hell were you supposed to draw the line? Fuck, was this situation genuine, or just one of opportunity?
“Can I ask an inappropriate question, Father?” You choked out, swallowing the lump of anxiety that wound its way around the base of your neck. You watched as he shut the car off.
“What is it?” He wasn't looking at you, but the hand still on the wheel tightened slightly.
Inhaling deeply, your heart thumped at an aching speed as you murmured your question, your voice beginning to betray how much he affected you. “Do you kiss a lot of girls?”
“I beg your pardon?”
Why the hell did you mean to bring that up? What good would knowing do, even? Right, of course, you would just go ahead and ruin the image of purity - what was the worst that could happen?
“Well,” You continued, unable to stop yourself but choosing your words carefully, “You kissed me. So, do you kiss a lot of girls?”
Father Sylus was quiet for a long, brutal moment. You felt sweat bead on your skin despite the car being cool. Clenching your fists and digging your nails into your palm, you try to brace yourself. You hadn’t intended to ask your question so outwardly , but what other way was there to put it?
“Y/N, you’re trying to minimize our connection,” he said. He took a deep, steadying breath and then rubbed a hand over his brow. “And I can ignore it. I can try to pray for the strength to bear it.”
Then, he met your gaze directly. In the light from the porch, you could see how his crimson eyes tore into you, emotion suddenly exposed and bared. For the second time, he had allowed you to glimpse what was hiding under the careful mask he put on.
You almost flinched as he touched your knee, his tone dropping. “But I won’t diminish it.”
You found yourself falling, then, into those wounded eyes. You slid your hand forward and set it over his, the heat from the simple touch making you feel like you had touched an ember.
Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned across the center console to kiss him, slow and sweet.
Please don’t push me away.
For a moment, you feel his surprise. However, just before you pull away, he pulls you forward, one warm hand sliding up your back and the other threading through your hair gently, reverently.
You moan softly into his mouth, and his grip tightens slightly. He deepens the kiss, pressing his tongue into your mouth. You lose yourself in the feel of his lips on yours, his hands on your body.
The gentleness he handles you with stokes the fire within you, warming you from the inside and slowly turning into a fever. You long for him to hold you tightly, to show you he wanted you too - you need that affirmation.
Then his lips grazed the shell of your ear, voice husky and warm. “You’re far too close for your own good.”
What sort of torment was this? All these words hung in the air that you wanted to say, but none came to your mind except for -
“Fuck me,” you rasped. Your face felt hot as the words spilled from your lips, driven by the intensity of your want. “Please, I -”
He silenced you with his mouth, capturing your lips again. His kiss is no less intense and consuming but maintains a level of restraint that a part of you hoped was rapidly crumbling. Your hands move on their own accord, reaching for his belt.
A hand on your wrist stops you before you can go any further, his skin like silk against the pounding pulse point of your wrist. It was a heavyweight, slowly making its way up to where your heart was beating wildly.
He’s looking directly into your eyes when he brings your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles gently.
“No here, sweetheart.” His voice is feather-light as he speaks. “Not like this.”
While he let go of your wrist, something unseen held you in place. But it was only momentarily before the horror of what you had tried to do crashed over you.
“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry, I - what the fuck am I doing?”
With the state you were in, it wouldn’t take much for the well of tears to come. Unable to look at him, you unlocked the car door and pushed it open, nearly tripping on your feet as you stumbled onto the pavement.
You didn’t look back, fearing falling apart, and slammed the door shut.
Rather than going through the front door, you circled the house and went up the back porch through the kitchen. Once inside, you walked past your dad in the living room, who was sleeping on the couch with the television blaring and a near-empty bottle of beer within arm’s reach.
You went into the bathroom in the hallway, shut and locked the door, then slid down onto the cold tile.
The rejection shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. No, this was different. Something deep inside, something raw and fiery, made the ache grow exponentially. It was the memory of the touch, the intoxicating mixture of scents.
Anger clawed its way to the surface because you couldn’t even wrap your head around what you felt. How pathetic, how foolish, how humiliating.
Clutching the sides of your head, you let out a scream, frustration causing your body to shake.
You wanted so badly to disappear.
Did God have a sense of humor or something?
tag list: @celestialforce @readerxyourbabe
#lds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#lads sylus#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads fanfic#sylus x reader#sylus x you
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taste like the fourth of july
note : dividers are from @/rookthornesartistry. I FUCKING LOVE LANA DEL REY AND I LOVE HER UNRELEASED SONGS GUESS WHAT THIS IS INSPIRED BY!!!!!! SUGAR DADDY CHRIS!!!!!!! OOC DONT WORRY ABOUT IT!!!!!! this is really short but I've had this in my drafts since 9/9 and I finally got it of motivation to write it so it was either getting written tonight or not at all and if you saw this as a wip in a wip tag game and you thought it was gonna be smut sorry lmao
wc : 1.2k
tags : @lottiies @luvrgreyy @withonly-sweetheart @onlyasimp4nobody
desc : sugar daddy. established-ish relationship, fluff, a bit suggestive, age gap (mid twenties - late forties), fem!reader, re8!Chris, not proofread
You love him ‘cause he tastes like your favorite liquor, and also because of the fat wad of cash he’s willing to hand over if you just bat your eyelashes at him. Well, that might be the reason, anyway. Not one of the sweetest men you’ve ever been with, but definitely one of the best.
Chris will buy pretty much anything for you. Expensive shoes you’ve been staring at in magazines? Yours. A watch that’s way too expensive but you like the color? It’s on your wrist the next morning. A cute new swimsuit? It’s yours as long as he gets to watch you model it.
There seems to be only perks when it comes to continuing on with whatever is going on between you and Chris; the money, the gifts, the vacations, the sex. Only downside is him going away for work, but that’s only a small downside, it doesn’t scare you away. Chris isn’t leaving you uncared for, anyway. The $1,000 he gives you the night before he heads out is supposed to be an apology, that’s what he says, at least.
Chris isn’t totally sure why he’s still doing this, he always thought of himself as a more traditional guy, you know, get a girlfriend that would eventually become a fiancée and after that a wife. But when he met you at this nice little restaurant, sitting all alone at the bar, eyeing him the whole fucking night, what was he supposed to say to you when you tapped him on the shoulder and asked him for a cigarette? No? It was a lucky enough guess that you even assumed he had cigarettes on him, maybe the smell of the smoke clung to his clothes more than had thought.
You hadn’t even asked if he was married, you probably saw his ring finger that lacked a wedding ring and took that as a green light.
It’s probably better this way, Christ, you’re twenty-six and he’s forty-eight. Chris could waste a few thousand dollars on you, give you a few years of his time, there’s not much else that he does besides work.
And you’re pretty, you’re worth the money.
So who is he to deny you? It really is a win-win.
But it’s not like you and Chris are exclusive, you were both able to sleep with whoever you wanted, no hard feelings if you do or don’t. And you did, for a little bit, before you started questioning whether or not Chris did the same. You never noticed another woman's clothes in his apartment, no lipstick-stained shirts in his hamper, nothing. You stopped seeing other men maybe a week after Chris had found a few fading hickeys on your hips and left darker ones where they once stood.
Okay, saying you love him might actually be a bit of a lie, but you’re pretty sure he’s lying to you too when he says it back. You’re not one to look things over too much, even if he does truly love you, that just makes your situation better.
Another great thing is date night.
You love vacations just as much as the next person, but Chris' job doesn't guarantee any amount of time longer than a week off. So vacations are a treat, typically a birthday present for either you or Chris, go somewhere with a great beach and greater drinks.
Date night is at the very least once a month, Chris always calls you a few days before, tells you the time and place and you just stand there and nod before blowing him a kiss over the phone as a goodbye before hanging up.
He takes you out, buys you dinner, gets you a new dress or a new necklace depending on how you're feeling that night, then drives you through the city before heading back to either his or your place.
You will admit that you find it funny when he doesn't know how to react to what you do. If you want something, say it, okay? Don't send him nudes, he's told you time and time again that he prefers seeing you face-to-face and not on a tiny screen that doesn't capture the whole view. You think he prefers it that way because then at least he can reach out and touch you instead of trying to type things out on his phone only for them to end up being deleted seconds later.
The morning after date night is never awkward, at least not usually. You either spend the day at Chris' or he takes you out shopping again before dropping you back at your place. You still feel sore most mornings.
This is one of those mornings, you can still feel the burn between your legs and the sting of bites, scratches, and beard burn left behind. Chris isn't there when you grope around for him in bed, but he's quick to come to your rescue as you hear the sink in the bathroom turn on before the door opens and he steps out.
"You up?" He's straightening his shirt out when he asks you, not looking at you as you sit up in his bed.
You stretch and rub your eyes, "Mhm," You mumble, Chris finally looks at you.
"You usually sleep like a log."
"Can you blame me?" Another mumble and he smiles, walking over to you and placing both his hands on the side of your face so he can lean down and kiss the top of your head. "Goin' somewhere?"
"Got called in, something important, apparently." He sighs, you push forward and lean against his ribs as he brushes through your tangled hair with his fingers.
"It always is."
"Mm, don't pout."
"Don't want me to miss you?" As always, whenever you tease him, he only responds to you with a light scoff before he smiles. Chris pulls you away from his ribs so he can cup the back of your neck and get you to look at him, his thumbs trace over the edges of your jaw and you hum.
"You still want something from me?"
"A pony," Chris rolls his eyes this time, kneeling so he can wrap his arms around you once you giggle.
"We're going out again once I get back." You think you hear him murmur, "Not to get a fucking pony." under his breath even though you can feel his breath in your ear, but you know he's saying that more to himself than to you.
"Surprise me?"
"Sure," Chris pulls back and kisses your cheek before his lips meet yours, his kisses are as slow as they always are. Chris breaks the kiss for a second only yo mumble, "Do you feel alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit." You press a kiss to his closed mouth as you play with the ends of his short hair.
"I gotta go," You sigh and kiss him again before you pull away from him, he kisses the corner of your mouth before he stands up. "Go have fun today."
"I will."
"Good, I wanna see what you bought later." You lay back down again as Chris starts to pull his jacket on and head for the bedroom door.
"Don't be too late," Your back is already turned towards the door when you call out to him, you don't see the smile he shoots you over his shoulder before he leaves.
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Agnes O'Connor x Fem!Reader: Beginning & End
Summary: Taking a late drive to get your mind off a few things, you get more than you bargained for from a not-so-routine traffic stop.
AO3
A/N: Wasn't sure how to tag this since Agnes is technically an Agatha... variant? persona? Also I didn't tag the Agatha taglist since this isn't technically Agatha? tricky tricky... This is basically just pure smut with a sprinkle of plot.. enjoy xoxo (also let me know if you want more of Agnes?)
Words: 6.2k
Included: Established relationship, Jealousy, Smut; choking, spitting, bdsm, possession, semi-public sex, car sex, fingering, cunnilingus, daddy kink, roleplaying, power dynamics, dom/sub, teasing, begging
Tag List: @escapetodreamworld @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @multifandomfix
You sigh as you lean into the leather seat. The music is loud enough to hurt, but you don’t turn the volume down, glad of the noise even if you don’t feel like singing along. Trees fly by outside the window as you drive.
A sign passes in a flash but you catch the number; 45. Your speedometer reads 55.
Making sure you’re alone on the road, you push it to 57 just for kicks. Even as the dark scenes on either side pass in a blur, the road ahead is clear. The moon hangs low and bright above, reflecting off the filled-in parts of the pavement.
The song changes and you sigh again upon hearing the familiar tune. It only reminds you of your wife; who should be home and in bed with you, but ended up on night-shift instead after hassling a suspect a bit too hard, canceling your planned evening.
Which leads you to driving the backroads between Westview and Eastview, hoping the journey will tire you out enough that you can sleep. Instead it lands you in the position of blowing past a hidden cop.
Just your luck.
You groan as you turn the music down and pull off the road into a flat area of grass. With the lights, you can’t tell if it's a Westview or Eastview officer at first. You have pretty good chances of getting off with a warning if it's one of Agnes’ coworkers.
But it’s not one of the regular officers. It’s the Chief’s car. You hit your head against the steering wheel. He’s been riding Agnes’ ass for months and will likely give you a hefty ticket just to spite her.
While you’re hitting your head against the wheel, there’s a knock on your window. You roll it down without looking, “Look, Chief, I know the deal. You can just write me a ticket and I’ll pay it tomorrow.”
“Oh, will you now?”
You pause.
Looking up in disbelief, “Agnes?”
“That’s Detective O’Connor to you.” Her face doesn’t change from the stern facade, “You were driving pretty recklessly back there. Have you been drinking tonight, ma’am?”
Subtly as you can manage, you check your side mirror to see if anyone else sits in the police cruiser. It wouldn’t be unlike the Chief to put Agnes through some insane test. No shadows lurk in the other car.
You drag your eyes back to Agnes. She’s waiting, still just as stoic, but you see the mischief in her eyes. Well, if she wants to play, why not up the stakes?
Tilting your head and smiling, “Of course not, detective. I’ve been a good girl.”
A split-second pause tells you she wasn’t expecting that. She licks her lips before the act slips back into place. She scoffs.
“That’s what they all say. Wait here.” Her hand pats the open window before she’s heading back toward the cruiser.
You watch her walk away in the side mirror with a grin. Her confident gait stirs something in you, always has.
For a split second you consider throwing the car in drive and peeling out of here. You’re curious to see what Agnes would do. You hope she’d chase you all the way home; that way when you get there you could finally have a taste of what tonight was meant to be.
You want Agnes painfully. Between work deadlines on your end and long hours on hers, you’ve been too tired to do more than cuddle, or some heavy kissing on a better day. You miss the connection that comes from baring yourselves to one another. And the orgasms, too, of course.
Agnes is back at your window, breathalyzer in hand. You make a split second decision.
“Please, detective, I can’t afford another ticket, and my wife will be so mad.” You plead, using that innocent, wide-eyed expression you know turns her on, “Is there anything I can do to… pay it off, per se?”
To her credit, she doesn’t crack this time, “Are you soliciting an officer of the law, ma’am?”
“No, of course not! Unless that’s what you want.”
“Step out of the car.”
The commanding note in her voice goes straight between your thighs. You open the door and step out, watching her brows raise at only the long nightgown you’re wearing. There’s a chill in the air that makes you shiver. Her eyes are drawn to your chest before she shakes away whatever is going through her mind.
While you’re enjoying the game, you do hope she’ll let you get back in the car soon. The cold is unmanageable without more substantial clothing.
Agnes holds up the breathalyzer, “Open your mouth.”
You do so without thinking. A blush races up your face. Agnes can’t help but smirk.
It’s not the breathalyzer that finds itself between your lips, but two fingers that settle on your tongue and press. You jolt at the pressure. Tears come to your eyes as you gag, but the weight of her fingers doesn’t ebb. You fight against your gag reflex to curl your tongue around the digits.
Closing your lips around them, you swirl your tongue like one would around a piece of candy. Even through blurred vision you can see how Agnes’ eyes darken. She leans forward, staring at your lips.
Her fingers move deeper, pressing harder, fucking your throat. You swallow around them.
You find your mouth and throat empty as Agnes pulls out. Her hand grabs your face before you can close your mouth and holds it open, fingers wet against your cheek. She grins meanly.
“Stick out your tongue.”
The second you do, Agnes spits in your mouth. You whimper. It’s humiliating and you feel yourself clench around nothing. You leave your tongue in the position she demanded, obedient as ever.
Agnes laughs, “Swallow.”
Humiliation, in combination with your startling need for her touch, forces the tears to spill over and down your cheeks. The sight of them seems to please her. She’s always loved seeing you thoroughly debased; loves knowing only she can break you down like this.
Partners in the past did try. Yet they would hesitate, hold back, believing they knew the limits of your desire instead of trusting you. A few would panic when they saw tears in your eyes and pull out of the scene completely. You often found yourself pretending; toning down your desires to ‘acceptable’ levels and leaving yourself unsatisfied to avoid that worried look in your partner’s eyes.
But you’ve never had to pretend with Agnes. From that first time, she went as far as she wanted, knowing that you were an adult capable of safe-wording if it was too much; it wasn’t. You had been dripping and needy the entire time. You had cried while she sat back and watched you polish her boots with your tongue, and had nearly come undone from the act alone. It was everything you craved—Agnes was everything you craved; trusting, dominating, cruel when it suited, and the most loving partner you’ve ever known.
You had vowed then and there that you weren’t letting her get away. And how lucky for you that she put a ring on your finger; the ring that is so much more than a symbol of love; but a brand, too, just as you desire.
“I wonder what your wife would think of you offering yourself up to me,” Agnes muses, “but you’re so eager for it, I can’t help but wonder if she’s not satisfying you properly.”
“Only you can satisfy me, detective.” You flutter your lashes.
That draws a real laugh from her. Something inside you preens. You lean forward into Agnes’ space, angling your head for a kiss, but she pulls back.
“Be that as it may, soliciting an officer is a crime, as is reckless driving.” Her hands reach for her belt, where her handcuffs rest in one of the holsters, “I’m going to have to take you in.”
Though the idea of being cuffed and fucked however she pleases excites you, you’re not entirely pleased with how your original plan was ruined. Agnes knew where the line was during interrogations and she crossed it. Knowingly. It’s safe to say you’re a little pissed she acted out.
A mean-spirited voice in your head considers pushing Agnes away entirely, leaving her wet and turned on for the rest of the night shift while you go home and find solace in your favorite toy. The rational part of you knows that no toy can replace your wife, and it’s her you want. You’re just not going to make it easy for her.
You fall to your knees before she can work the cuffs off her belt. She jolts at the unexpected change. You slam against the ground pretty hard and wince, but don’t dare stop.
Your hands find her belt buckle. Deftly, you start to undo it, “Please, I can make you feel good. I’ll do anything.”
Agnes raises her brows. She doesn’t stop you from undoing her belt or slowly lowering the zipper of her pants. There’s a tenseness in her jaw as she thinks over the request. Intent on sealing the deal, you move your hands from the front of her pants; instead leaning forward to place a kiss where they’d just been.
Looking up through your lashes, you beg, “Please.”
“Well, since you’re so eager for it.”
Ignoring the screaming in your knees, you shoot to your feet, capturing Agnes’ lips in a hard kiss. You attack with lips and teeth and tongue. At the same time, you slip your hand inside her pants and past the waistband of her panties.
She groans against your lips when your fingers play in her wetness. Your fingers ghost over her clit and you grin into the kiss. Two hands settle on your hips and shove, your back hitting the side of your car; it hurts for a moment before you’re once again lost in the feel of your wife, how she’s using her position to grind against your hand, the obscene noises leaving her throat.
Your clit throbs with every roll of her hips. It’s intoxicating that she’s just taking what she wants, using you as a toy to achieve her own pleasure. But the desire between your own legs reminds you of the end goal.
Agnes’ hips pick up speed, her usual low groans evolving into panting, high-pitched whimpers. She’s so close. You consider letting her have what she wants.
Moments before she can fall over the edge you pull your hand from her pants. Hands settling on her chest, you shove her back. She jolts and stumbles. Her fucked-out expression from seconds earlier shifts to confusion, then anger.
“What the fuck?” Agnes snarls.
“You’ve been bad, detective.” Still leaning against the car, you cross your arms over your chest, “Or should I say Daddy.”
Agnes stands straighter. There’s steel in her spine now, jaw taught as darkness comes over her expression. Amusement alights inside your chest.
Her hands begin to unravel the belt from the loops of her pants, “I’m going to paint your backside blue.”
“I don’t think so.” Your voice is hard. “You see, I had a lovely evening planned for us. Dinner, a movie, clean sheets for us to spend all night ruining. And we didn’t get to enjoy any of it because someone couldn’t control her temper. So you, daddy, are going to fuck me until I decide I’m ready to forgive you.”
“It’s cute that you think you’re in control, baby.”
Agnes steps into your space, belt in her hands. You stop her with a hand on her chest before she can get close enough to do anything.
“I am in control.”
“Those with the upper hand don’t usually have to state the fact.”
You tilt your head, “If you don’t give me what I want, you’re not going to touch me for weeks. I’ll fuck myself and all you’ll be able to do is watch. And I’ll stuff all the pairs of panties I ruin into your bag, your pockets… everywhere you go, you’ll be reminded of just what you’re missing.”
The smug expression slowly slips from her face. She tries to push forward again, but you’re unyielding; clenching your fist in the fabric of her shirt until she feels the subtle bite of your nails. There’s fury and a small trace of fear in her eyes.
It’s rare that you have the upper hand. Usually Agnes is twelve steps ahead of everyone—you included. But this time she miscalculated, and she’s going to pay for it.
“Your choice, daddy.”
She scoffs. Shaking her head, a few pieces of her hair free themselves from her low ponytail. They lay in and over her face before she blows them out of the way carelessly. She hasn’t been taking care of it, you can tell; and briefly, you consider if you can get away with commandeering her into taking better care of herself.
You likely shouldn’t push your luck. Agnes is going to punish you enough for this stunt, you’re sure.
The belt is tossed onto the ground a few feet away in a silent show of surrender. Her eyes are dark, churning with a mixture of fury and arousal. A brief moment passes where you wonder if you’re taking this a bit too far, but you shove it down; Agnes is an adult just as you are and will tell you if you cross any hard lines.
“Is the heat on in the cruiser?” You ask.
She pauses, taken-aback, “Yeah, of course.”
“Good. You’re going to fuck me in it later. But first—”
You open the back door of your own car as wide as it can go, just so you can perch on the seat with your feet still outside. With a smile, you open your legs wide. You hadn’t considered this outcome when you left the house for your drive, so your panties are relatively plain, but it doesn’t matter since they’re soaked through.
Agnes takes a step forward and you hold up a finger. She pauses. You point at the ground.
Her face goes red, “Not fucking likely.”
And then she’s on you. She’s holding herself up with one hand on the seat, the other dragging your face to hers. Her body rests perfectly between your legs. With a low moan, you roll your hips against her front.
Her grip on your face is painful. Thank god her nails are clipped short.
Agnes pulls away from your mouth to bite and suck at your throat. You throw your head back, still grinding up against her, moaning with abandon. The friction is nice but it isn’t what you wanted.
“I want you to eat me out.” You force out.
“I don’t care what you want.” Agnes growls.
“Oh? Well, I guess I should be prepared to handle my own orgasms for a while, then.”
As you say that, you stop grinding, and lay fully against the seat, one of your arms snaking its way down your front and between your thighs. You’ve only circled a finger around your clit twice before her hand catches your wrist in a punishing grip.
“Try it and I’ll tie you to the bed everyday when I go to work.”
“I made my terms abundantly clear.”
“You know what you forgot though, brat?” Agnes taunts, lips right next to your ear, “You’re too greedy to settle for your hand or your little toys. It’s only a matter of time before you get bored and come crawling back to me.”
“Maybe I’ll just crawl to someone else. Agent Vidal has been hanging around.”
A hand closes around your throat and you whine. She squeezes, your vision going fuzzy around the edges. You roll your hips.
“I’ll lock you in the house if you even think about it.” Her voice is hard, promising, “You’re mine, baby.”
“Prove it.”
That’s the wrong thing to say.
Agnes pulls back completely. Her hands leave you, the pressure of her body is gone. You look up and she’s standing just far enough away that you can’t touch her. You growl.
The look on her face is one you’ve seen a dozen times; the very same one she wears when you’re about to endure something you don’t like. But you vow not to let her have the upper hand. Not this time. This time, you’re going to make her bend.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” She says.
The words are like a bucket of cold water over your head. You don’t spend long dwelling on the threat, there’s no time.
Agnes is halfway back to the police cruiser when you worm your hand into your panties and bury two fingers inside without preamble. Despite being the source of your own pleasure, you jolt, back bowing off the seat. The moan that leaves your lips is exaggerated; pornographic.
“Oh, yes!”
You hear her footsteps come to a stop. You don’t dare open your eyes, not yet. The pleasure you’re experiencing is real, even if it is half of what it could be with Agnes’ help, but you have to keep up the act—have to make her jealous of your own fingers.
Though she hates to admit it, Agnes is jealous in all aspects of life. There’s a bit of healthy competitiveness worked in there that you can admire. Yet some days… some days she comes home fighting mad, hair a mess and muscles clenched tight as she recounts the events that made her that way. And lately they’ve all had the same person involved—
Agent Rio Vidal.
A loaner agent from the FBI, here to figure out some of the more poignant details of a murder on the Westview-Eastview county line. She’s confident and cutting and painfully attractive. Somehow, she knows how to push every single one of Agnes’ buttons, in work and play.
You’ve only met her twice and each time Agnes was an animal afterward. The appreciative glances and suggestive words made you blush—and though you won’t admit it, turned you on a good bit—while Agnes could barely hold herself back from attacking the woman. So possessive. So jealous.
You can use that.
The door on the other car hasn’t opened and you know she’s watching with rapt attention. You put on a good show, rolling your hips into your one hand while pinching at your chest with the other. You could get off on her watching.
Another exaggerated, high-pitched moan, “Oh, Agent Vidal!”
Though the woman is attractive, you can’t imagine anyone but your wife. Agnes doesn’t need to know that.
Strong hands grab your calves and pull you half-way out of the car. You squeak, eyes snapping open. Agnes looms above you and oh fuck you’re in trouble.
“You little bitch.” She snarls, hand coming to wrap around your throat.
You try to moan but she doesn’t give you that much air. Another deft hand rips your own from your panties, even going so far as to rip the fabric off completely. There’s the ghost of her fingers above your center. You roll your hips.
The sensation of loss and blurry edges is usually a huge turn-on; maybe it’s the intense change from oxygen to no oxygen, but you’re struggling more than normal. You tap her wrist three times.
Agnes pulls away completely. Her hand is off your neck, the other gone from between your thighs. You take in large lungfuls of air and feel your heart-rate slow just a little. A little whine works its way from your throat, though it’s mainly a result of the throbbing between your legs that’s still driving you crazy.
Your wife’s hands hover over you, eyes concerned, “Honey?”
“I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” You assure, sitting up and kissing one of her palms, “The quick change just… startled me. I’m okay.”
“Should I… Do you need me to take you home?”
“Oh no, Agnes O’Connor, you’re going to finish what you started.” Spreading your legs offers an obscene picture of just how soaked you are, made even more tantalizing by the ripped panties clinging to your thigh, “Unless you want me to find someone else who can finish the job.”
It’s like flipping a switch.
Overwhelming is a word that could be used to describe Agnes in bed—smothering, even. She has a way of overtaking every single one of your senses at once. Your skin is on fire with her touch, with the faint strands of hair tickling your face. The scent of burnt break-room coffee clings to her jacket. You even taste it when her tongue invades your mouth, moaning obscenely against your lips.
You like being smothered, though. You crave it; aching for anything that will let you turn your mind off and just feel.
Agnes pulls back. Her breath is hot against your lips, “You’re such a brat.”
“Only for you, daddy.” You murmur.
A shudder passes through her at the name. Her grip tightens on you, near bruising. You moan.
“Where do you want me?”
“With your mouth between my legs.”
“Fingers?”
“Yes, please.”
Agnes chuckles, “So you do remember your manners. Interesting.”
You roll your eyes. To your luck, Agnes doesn’t see—if she had, you would have been punished accordingly. Though you realize things are a bit off-balance with your threat hanging in the air; any other time, Agnes would have you bent anyway she pleased, taking all she wanted until you couldn’t handle any more.
Being in control is… odd. Not unwanted, but odd. You have to be more aware of yourself, confident in every command that leaves your lips. You’re glad that this is Agnes’ preferred role even if you’re enjoying the change.
Lips kiss the inside of your thighs and you shudder. When she sinks her teeth in, you squeal, jolting at the change. Your hand falls to the top of her head.
“Not what I meant!”
“Oh, then what did you mean?” She taunts.
“If you don’t make me come right now so help me—”
The heat of her mouth on you is enough to shut you up. Her tongue drags up your slit with agonizing slowness. She teases at your clit for only a moment before repeating the slow drag, making you whine, pressing her head closer.
You feel the rumble of her laughter and god help you the vibrations feel amazing. Yet when you try to move your hips for more, her hands keep them pressed firmly to the leather seat.
Another threat sits on your lips that never comes to pass. With the last slow lick, she fastens her lips around your clit and sucks, hard. It’s painful and wonderful and your back bows off the seat, hands scrambling for anything to clench into. The weeks have been long and you know you’re not going to last.
“I’m going to come.” You force out.
She laughs again. That, in combination with her attention focused solely on your clit, sends you straight over the edge. You feel wild, unhinged as your hips move without any guidance from your mind, chasing the waves of pleasure that make your every muscle go taut.
But when the pleasure subsides, Agnes doesn’t stop. She pushes two fingers inside and curls them in that way you like so much. You clench around them, though you ache, not ready for more so soon.
“I can’t—Please, I can’t.” You beg.
“One more, baby. You can give me that, can’t you?”
“I can’t.”
“You can.”
And you do. Her fingers know every inch of you well, her mind cataloging every spot that makes you whine, every move she performs that sends you over the edge. She calls on that knowledge as the pads of her fingers rub against that spot inside you with abandon until you can’t breathe, shrieking and moaning loud enough that you worry someone will hear you miles away.
The pleasure tenses your body so tight that you worry the muscles will never relax again. It hurts in that delicious way only Agnes can bring out.
When you do relax, she’s licking gently at you, collecting the flavor on her tongue and savoring it like a fine wine. You twitch. The hand you have in her hair pushes as you attempt to slide further onto the seat, away from her mouth.
“No more,” you beg, “please.”
“Am I forgiven?”
You laugh, breathless, “Not quite.”
You tug her up wordlessly until the weight of her is draped over you. It’s nice, comforting to feel her close. Her warmth helps fight against the cold biting at your lower half. Sighing, you bury your face in her neck, your hand coming up to lazily play with her hair.
Agnes accepts the touch. She traces little patterns on your hip over the nightgown, soft and quiet. You can still see the red and blue lights from your hiding place in her neck.
“Why do you have the Chief’s car?” You ask.
She scoffs, “Mine broke down three hours into the shift. Had to call the Chief and walk all the way to his house to get the cruiser.”
“What? Agnes, why didn’t you call me?”
“I wanted you to enjoy your night in, honey.”
You think about arguing, but you recognize the exhaustion in her voice, and decide not to push it—for now. It’s an argument you can save for later.
“So what was it, the battery? I thought we just replaced it.”
“I think the old girl might just be done for. We’ve had her for a while.” Agnes shrugs.
“But that’s… we brought Nicky home in that car.” You whisper, chest aching.
Another piece of your life—connected to your baby—that you won’t get to keep. Agnes tenses, her breathing growing ragged, and you feel terrible; she’s likely already thought about this the whole shift, spent all these hours remembering it alone. That’s why she didn’t call you—she didn’t want to drag you bag into the deep end of the pain, too.
You press a gentle kiss to the side of her neck. No wonder she took the first opportunity to play with you, she needed the distraction.
“I’m sorry, my love.” You murmur.
“Not your fault, honey. These things happen.”
She sounds less and less like herself with every moment. You don’t want to shove the grief aside—the grief counselor said that only made things worse—but this isn’t how you want to handle it; Agnes draped over your freshly-debauched form in the backseat of your car.
This is a conversation, a breakdown for home, where the two of you can take all the time you need to soak in the new loss. You need to distract her away from this.
“Will the force offer you one of their vehicles?”
“Yeah. They should.”
“Where did you break down?”
“By the bridge on Old Forest.”
Perfect.
“Let’s give her a proper sendoff, then.”
Agnes pauses. The look she gives you is questioning, as if not quite believing your suggestion, but she knows better—knows you’re serious about this.
“Alright.”
Which is how you find yourself halfway across town, on a back road with no streetlights, pulling off perilously close to a ditch. Agnes' car is unmistakable even in the dark—from the extra mirror on the hood reflecting the moonlight to the dent in the back bumper she never got fixed. You feel suddenly overwhelmed as you trace your fingers over the body.
So many memories, good and bad. Your late-night trysts in the back seat. Bringing Nicky home. The back seat full of his stinky sports gear. Agnes’ old case files winding up on the floor.
Agnes comes up and drapes her jacket over your shoulders. The warmth of her body has seeped into the cloth, now blocking out the chill in the air, “This might not be the best idea.”
You raise a brow, “Cold feet, detective?”
“Mine are nice and warm. Yours, however...”
She looks up and down your scantily-clad form with a worried furrow of her brow. It’s sweet, but not needed.
“I don’t think our plans will keep me anything but warm.” You smile, leaning back against the car while pulling Agnes close, until every inch of her is pressed against your front. Her hands settle on your hips as she kisses you with a softness belaying the vulnerability she still feels, “Unlock the car.”
“Honey—”
“Agnes, would you rather I went home?” You murmur.
“Of course not.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Beats me.”
“You know what I want?”
Using your leverage against the vehicle, you draw one of your feet up the inside of Agnes’ leg, careful to press every part of yourself against her. Her warmth radiates through her flannel and jeans and you smile.
She raises a brow, “I’m sure I can guess.”
“I want you to bend me over in the backseat of this car like you did that first time. You remember, don’t you? How pissed you were that I’d been teasing you for five dates.” You laugh at the memory, “You couldn’t even make it out of the restaurant parking lot.”
“You were so loud we almost got caught.” She recalls, voice low, gravelly.
“There’s no one around to catch us now.”
Agnes wraps one of her arms around your waist and uses it to tug you sideways, making quick work of unlocking the car. With the hand not on your waist, she opens the back door, and eases her jacket from your shoulders. She lays it out on the cold seats with the warm side up.
Not for the first time, you’re moved by her consideration of your comfort. It would be so easy for a partner to disregard the little things if it meant getting to the end goal faster; but not Agnes. You reward her with a long, slow kiss.
When she pulls away, there’s a fond little smile on her lips. She pats your hip, “On your hands and knees.”
You obey without question. Crawling onto the backseat, you’re reminded of just how confined the space of a car is. You have to keep your head bowed so as not to hit your head on the roof. It’ll be worth your while, but you know the two of you will be feeling the adverse effects of this choice for days.
Agnes follows and shuts the door behind her. She works her way into the backseat until not a bit of space exists between the two of you. Every inch of her front is pressed against you, draped over you like a warm blanket. You push your backside back into her crotch, teasing.
“I should’ve sent you home to get your purple.” You say.
“Be good and you can have my cock later.”
Warm fingertips trail up the back of your thigh until they snake under the hem of your nightgown. The soothing heat of her touch is lovely compared to the bite of the cold air. You lean into it.
“Yes, daddy.” You sigh.
Her body pulls away from yours and you turn, confused. A sharp slap to your backside makes your breath stutter, your core clenching around nothing. Your toes curl.
“Interesting that you want to be good now, when you’ve been testing me all night.”
“What can I say? I’m motivated by rewards.”
You’re satisfied that Agnes seems to be in the moment, rather than locked up in the memories in her head. Intent on keeping it that way, you lean back into her, arching so you can match her entirely. Her muscles go taut and relax and being able to feel it makes you ravenous.
Two fingers push your ripped panties aside and begin to drag up your slit, teasing. It should be noted that you are trying to be good for her, offering the control she takes to so well. You like to think she can tell, too.
When she slips her fingers inside you without torturing you further, you’re sure she knows.
You push back, desperate. You want more of her and bad. It’s as if the orgasms she gave you less than an hour ago never happened. Every muscle in your body quakes with the knowledge of what only Agnes can give you. And you want it so deeply that it threatens to bring tears to your eyes.
“Please.” You beg without prompting, “Please, more.”
A split-second hesitation belays her surprise, but she does slip another finger inside, stretching you even wider. You can’t stop how you move, nor the noises that come out of your mouth. You feel cursed with hunger only she can sate.
It’s this car, this backseat, and the memories here that are driving you so mad. It’s the life attached to it that you never thought you would get; a family, a future, a wife who loves you despite all the ugly parts others had run from. It’s the years you haven’t had to live out alone, the pain you’ve shared. It’s the fact that this act was once a beginning and now it’s an end.
Her lips press against the back of your neck, impossibly gentle, so unlike the role she’s meant to be playing. Something inside you breaks.
“Agnes—“ You choke out.
“It’s okay, honey.”
You let go.
You let go from holding yourself back—fucking yourself on her fingers until you shriek with pleasure. You let go of the ball of emotions in your chest, of hunger and pleasure and guilt. You let go of the pain and let tears spill over onto your cheeks.
It’s not the best orgasm you’ve ever had, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s a goodbye to this piece of your life. It’s an end. And it hurts just the same as it feels good to embrace the potential of something new.
Agnes holds you, steady as ever. You feel the dampness of her own tears on your neck.
You turn and lay on your back, welcoming the weight of her. You use your thumbs to wipe away the tears coming from her beautiful blue eyes.
“Am I forgiven, or do we have to go another round?” She asks.
You grin, not taking your hands from her face, “You’re forgiven, my love.”
“Thank god.”
Agnes drops her head until it rests on your chest. You laugh, extracting the hair tie so you can run your fingers through the length of it. Her arms wrap around you as much as they can.
She presses a kiss to your chest, over where your heart is. You gently work through a knot in between your fingers. The windows are clouded with perspiration. Beads of water reflect what little moonlight peeks through the trees. Moonlight or no, you know every dip and curve of your wife’s form, and could identify every part of her without sight.
The stale coffee smell has worn off, replaced by the faint undertones of the cologne she wears each morning. It’s deep and musky and comforting.
Maybe it’s the weight of her head on your chest in combination with the memories that makes you speak, “Have you ever thought about us trying again?”
She tilts her head so she can look up into your eyes without lifting from her resting place. Her brows are furrowed.
“Trying again?”
The weight of her beautiful eyes on you almost makes you change the subject. These conversations are so much easier without that layer of intimacy. But you’ve started something and you’ll be damned if you don’t finish it.
“To be parents.” You whisper.
“I’m a little past due on that, baby.” Her smile is self-deprecating.
“I’m not.”
“You never wanted to carry. I remember that much.”
“That was then.” You continue smoothing through her hair, “Now… If you want to try again, I’ll do it. I want to do it.”
You can’t decipher the look in her eyes. She doesn’t pull away, but she’s tense.
“We don’t need to decide right now. We have time.”
She nods, “Alright.”
“You’ll still be daddy, even if you aren’t my baby-daddy.”
“That was terrible.”
It doesn’t stop her from grinning, nor does it stop you from laughing. Something in the tension eases. You can’t lean down and kiss her like this, so you press a kiss to the pads of your fingers, and press them to her lips. She nips at them playfully.
The quiet is nice, but you can feel the cold settling into your bones. You need to be back in a heated car before you get sick.
“When is your shift over?”
“In a few hours.”
You nod, figuring out what time she’ll come home and how it fits into your schedule, “I have nothing after work if you want me to make good on those orgasms I owe you.”
“I look forward to it.”
It takes some time, but you and Agnes manage to untangle yourselves and worm your way out of the back seat. She sits, keeping you wrapped in her coat, until the inside of your own car is nice and warm. That earns her a few lingering kisses.
She trails you on the drive home before speeding off to do god knows what during the last few hours of her shift. And when you fall asleep—already feeling sore—an eagerness sets in your chest of what awaits. With an end, a new beginning.
#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness#agatha all along#agnes o'connor#agnes o'connor x reader#agatha all along x reader#agatha all along fanfiction#agatha harkness fanfiction#wlw#wlw fanfiction#nov2024#multimilfswritings
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I know I'm very late in responding to this so sorry that this is way outta the blue. I've gotten increasingly worn out with the Helluva Boss fandom and haven't really wanted to talk about it much anymore. This Stolas analysis was basically the last real thing I wrote about Helluva before essentially just giving up on my yapping.
Honestly, I still don't want to talk about it much but I figured this did deserve a response because I do agree with you! You make a lot of great points here both in the post text and the tags!
While I myself was someone that unlearned the shit I was raised with essentially "on my own" with only the internet as my guide, I understand that I'm an outlier. And, before I started to make a turn around on my beliefs and behaviors, the internet first made them worse before making them "better" so to speak.
But like. Even if I was essentially "alone" in my reeducation of myself and my unlearning with not really asking anyone questions or shit, I still had people (online) that I looked up to and trusted whose opinions I listened to and learned from because, well, I cared about them and what they were saying. And a lot of what they were saying opened my eyes.
So even if I was an outlier in that I did all that shit "alone" (and because of what I personally went through I don't think it's impossible for someone else to do it "alone" too), I don't think that it would actually work for Stolas.
My point in saying that he has a smartphone and that Google/Gaggle is right there is more venting frustrations with how a lot of the fandom coddles him and believes that he is absolutely incapable of learning on his own and needs the idea that he's privileged (and how his behavior can hurt people) spoon fed to him like he's a toddler rather than a 30-something year old man.
And sure, Stolas definitely will need some help and guidance! As I said, even if I personally did most of my learning "alone" I still had people I looked up to that I was learning from (even if those people didn't exactly realize it lmao). I'm not saying that no one should help Stolas and guide him and be there to answer whatever silly "I'm privileged what do you mean you're oppressed" questions. I even said I absolutely anticipate Blitzø being someone like that for him eventually.
I just don't like the idea that because Stolas has no idea how the real world works because he was raised in his "gilded cage" that means that he's not still accountable for the harm he's caused or that he is helpless to learn anything without someone marginalized doing all the emotional labor to educate him completely. Even if, yeah, google/gaggle might lead him the wrong way if he tried to educate himself, he still is capable of trying.
Alongside something drastic happening to wake him up to reality, he still has to want to learn and want to try (which he absolutely will, this is Stolas we're talking about). It can't all be on someone else's shoulders.
I didn't articulate that well in my original post though and I can see how it definitely came off more like I was saying Stolas should just only use the internet rather than depending on/learning from anyone like Blitzø. And that's very much on me!
okay, strap in, here we go.
i think i & a lot of other people went into Apology Tour expecting Stolas to be at different point in his character development then he actually is. but that development is definitely still coming!
a deep dive into where Stolas currently is at character wise with insights from my own personal life experience.
in this deep dive into where he currently is, i want to use what i personally have experienced & witnessed in my own life as a guide. bc if i'm being honest, after i had time to mull it over, looking at Stolas in this episode was both like looking in a mirror & also like looking at some of my own family members who i have tried to correct on their own microaggresions in the past.
now i want to preface this by saying that i am white. i will not be speaking on this from the perspective of a POC. i am speaking on this from the perspective of someone who has had to go on a similar (but obvs not as extreme) journey that Stolas is on, and as someone who has seen people i love vehemently deny their problematic actions when i have tried to tell them how harmful they are & how hard it is to actually argue with them about it.
and i'd also like to add that i am not trying to shit on Stolas with this & say that Blitzø did nothing wrong in their arrangement ever or in Apology Tour. Blitzø is also on a character arc of his own & growing as a character.
both he AND Stolas continued to suck at communicating this episode, & it wasn't anyone's sole fault there. i'm focusing less on their conflict (though of course i will make reference to it) & more focusing on where Stolas currently is in his journey & how him acting the way he does in AT is... not far off from reality, honestly.
even if it's painful to watch at times, i do have to commend the writing there haha. bc it's pretty fuckin' spot on.
okay with all that out of the way, let's get our hands dirty:
the description of the episode itself confirms that Stolas is "still not quite being self-aware enough at times" & boy did they hit the nail on the head here lmao.
i think most people will agree that Stolas still has a LOT to learn about the race/class difference & the power imbalance between he & Blitzø, but even still, some were expecting better out of him in AT than what we got. myself included.
but let's look at FM from his perspective:
he's off his meds & obviously went into that night with a very black & white view of the possible outcomes: either Blitzø returns his feelings & they'll be dating by the end of the night, or he's been keeping Blitzø against his will & is a monster. no room for shades of grey.
and when Blitzø (understandably for multiple reasons) mistakes this basically out of nowhere declaration of feelings as a form of rp, Stolas (very understandably) gets his feelings hurt. he shuts down & stonewalls.
he doesn't see any shades of grey when Blitzø chases after him, says he needs a minute to think, makes reference to his feelings being played with, or the fact that, while aggressive, Blitzø was trying to talk things out with him. Stolas only hears the yelling and (again, understandably) gets triggered.
ALONG WITH, it seems, only hearing the "everything you've put me through, you rich, privileged asshole" comment & the "treat me like one of your butler imps" comment. which, if i'm being honest, i think ALSO really hurt his feelings, based on how he ends up acting the next day in AT.
here's where my personal experience comes in, so let's tldr my story real fast:
i was raised in a fairly privileged position & was basically brainwashed into far right ideology from a young age at the private school i attended. trust me, i went on a WILDASS journey to unlearn some of the craziest & most vile shit that had been hammered into my head since i was a little tiny child. it's a tough journey, too, that's filled with a lot of ups & downs.
part of what makes Stolas such a special character to me is seeing that journey reflected on screen with the good, the bad, & the ugly. which is also why i get very frustrated with fans that want to ignore the bad & the ugly parts of Stolas' character & journey.
bc, yes, while he is a fictional character, it is always important to hold oneself accountable. even though i am a completely changed person from who i was all those years ago, i know that even at 33 there are probably things i still need to unlearn that i just haven't stumbled upon to challenge me yet.
the journey that Stolas is on is not a single switch flip or a short, easy one. nor should it be treated as one. however, i think it's important to dive into these things and see where it's coming from, even if it shines light on the bad & the ugly in a way that some people may not like.
now with my personal experience in mind, & how Full Moon went from Stolas' perspective, let's finally address that painful exchange that happens the morning after Full Moon.
emotions are still high, neither of them has had time to really process, Stolas is still very deep in his own feefees, and those feefees are HURT.
Blitzø, in his mind, has rejected a relationship with him. as well as accused him of being a racist/classist, something that Stolas does NOT see himself as. and, like ANY privileged person mostly oblivious to their own behavior, he gets his feefees hurt over this as well as getting very defensive about it.
while the bar is quite literally in hell, Stolas DOES treat imps... better than other Goetia. that doesn't mean he treats them WELL, bc he DOESN'T, but to Stolas himself, he sees other goetia carry imps around in purses like animals or throw them around like objects like Stella did. in his mind, he's treating imps very well! so he must think, "so why would Blitzø or that Stiker guy even say anything like that?! that's ridiculous & hurtful!"
enter stage left Blitzø, who starts off with his typical sexy talk which then turns into needling/arguing. (once again, oof. they both continue to suck at communicating this ep so hard.)
and when this exchange happens, it is... it is so quintessential oblivious privileged person getting defensive.
"i'm not racist/classist! when have i EVER done something like that? you talk just like those people that hate all white/rich people!"
i have literally heard basically those exact words, and ones similar to what Stolas says later, from family that i have tried to point out microaggresions to before.
microaggresions are called microaggresions for a reason & are obviously not considered the same as the more outwardly hateful shit for a reason. they are harder for people to realize that they are doing/participating in and therefore very easy to get their feefees hurt over & defensive about.
bc the ppl committing microaggresions hear the big, ""scary"" words like "racism" or "classism" & think of the most extreme examples, not the ""mundane"" shit that THEY do. so if someone says they're being racist/classist, they think they're being accused of the extreme shit & think people are being absolutely ridiculous.
bc OBVIOUSLY Stolas isn't carrying an imp around in a purse or yeeting them like Stella does so what's the big deal, right? /s
moving forward in their exchange, we come to these lines. and here's where, if i haven't ruffled feathers already, i'm probably going to ruffle them now.
by saying this, Stolas DOES make a point but also... DOESN'T at the same time, ending up only reinforcing his own ignorance & lack of self-awareness. but before anyone starts furiously typing to me, let me explain.
Blitzø DOES need to hear this to begin to understand how Stolas has been making attempts & does care in his own way, just like how Blitzø also needed to hear what Fizz said in Oops for the same reason.
HOWEVER, just like how Fizz said what he said in Oops without full context of the arrangement that Blitzø & Stolas had, Stolas says what he says here without the full context of his actions & how they actually read to Blitzø, especially in the context of the deal they had.
he is genuine about his attempt to make Blitzø understand he cares, but just like before, this is ALSO quintessential privileged person being defensive.
"if i were racist/classist why would i want to date a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to be seen with a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to spend time with a POC/a poor person or support them?"
yes, Stolas cares about Blitzø. but this is called being seen as an Exception or One Of The Good Ones. Stolas doesn't look down on Blitzø as much as he does other imps, but that doesn't make Blitzø feel any better. and even still, while Blitzø is the Exception, it still doesn't mean that he isn't still looked down on or been the victim of microaggresions from Stolas.
and honestly, some of the talk i've seen these past few days around the fandom regarding this has been... very fucking exhausting.
yes, i more than anyone understand that Stolas is not self-aware enough to fully realize his own behaviors yet. but everyone seems to be putting this entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to fix & educate Stolas on this despite the fact that Blitzø is also hurting & neck deep in his emotions as well.
Stolas gets a pass for being ignorant & uneducated & neck deep in his feelings but Blitzø is apparently supposed to be able to articulate perfectly to Stolas every microaggresion he's suffered & be able to sit him down & give him a lecture on Hell's Racism & Classism.
just like how it is not the job of POC to educate white people, or any other underprivileged group to educate a privileged one, it is NOT entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to educate Stolas.
Stolas is approx. 36 years old & has a smartphone. Google (or i guess it's gaggle in hell) exists & Stolas shows later on in AT that he DOES indeed have tiny blips of self-awareness, little nagging feelings that he's missing something.
yes, it would definitely HELP to have Blitzø explain his own perspective to Stolas, as i'm sure Stolas would be willing to listen if Blitzø can find a way to properly elaborate. and i do think Blitzø WILL at some point in the future do that!
BUT. confronting or educating loved ones is SO much harder than anyone else. i think part of the reason WHY Blitzø has a hard time saying specifics to Stolas (besides his own self-hatred & communication issues) is BECAUSE he cares about him so much.
it was not easy at ALL for me to try to confront loved ones in my life about their behavior, & being met with the defensive reactions only made it more painful on top of that. it is not uncommon at all for ppl to let a privileged loved one get away with things that they would NEVER let someone else get away with.
this leads into where i basically want to say... if you're having any worry or doubts about Stolas' character arc right now, don't worry. we've gotten some pretty clear signs from AT that there's still plenty to be addressed on Stolas' side & that it WILL be coming.
he simply is just not as far along in the journey as some of us thought he was, & that's okay. he'll get there, even if it is painful right now.
personally, my biggest theory on HOW he'll get there is the whole "Stolas is stripped of his title & everything he owns" theory that's been circulating around the fandom. something that drastic happening to him, leaving him with nothing, & forcing him to see what Hell is actually like for the lower class outside of his gilded cage would be one hell of a wake up call for him.
but even if that theory isn't correct, i still believe that it will not just be solely Blitzø or others around him showing Stolas the error of his ways.
i am of the opinion that something drastic will happen that will also help shift his view much more into focus & make him even more receptive to what he's being told about the racism & classism of Hell.
bc oftentimes, it DOES take something drastic in a journey like this one to actually light a fire under one's ass. what that will be for Stolas...? well, i guess we'll just have to wait & see!
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Business wreckage // part 3 (Reader x Jake Seresin)
Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @alex--awesome--22, @ellie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve , @queen-of-books , @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown , @wildieflower , @meyocoko , @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @swampything07, @melsunshine , @panhoeofmanyfandoms , @venomsvl , @the-uncoordinated-house-cat , @rosecentury , @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn , @niktwazny303 , @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 , @vermillionwinter , @love2write2626 , @magical-spit , @slythetic , @p0nycurtis , @djs8891 , @hookslove1592 , @thedonswife13
Summary: The aftermatch of his actions are still very active. His father asking for updates on his matters, hoping it would settle soon. As the days increase of your stay-in, the more you doubt how long you would handle Jake's teasing and boyish mindset. [ series]
Jake's eyes wandered to your lips with curiosity. Your gaze half in shock as it was clear where he was staring at. Already feeling a warmth creep up in your cheeks. Knowing you would burst into flames if he kept staring at you, you gave him a little shove. Jake's chest moved back, fluttering with his eyelashes to snap him back to reality. - "Go to bed." - you ordered him as this was no good position to sleep.
Jake wiped his hand down his face, trying to supress a yawn. - "I...I still have a few lines to do." - he said picking up his pen to read his last written lines. You took the pen from him, laying it down. - "Not for tonight." - you pressed on. Jake already yawned as you nudged him to get up. He pushed himself up, yawning again. You came walking behind him.
Jake started to sway towards the wrong room as you interfered. - "Sir!" - you called out, taking a hold of his arm and back. - "This way sir." - you said guiding him to his room. You flicked the lights on as it made him groan loud at the sudden brightness. He nearly stumbled to his bed with your help. Jake flopped onto the bed without a care. His legs still hanging out of the bed. Sighing soft, you took his shoes off. Helping his feet onto the bed.
Jake laid himself better, his eyes already closed. You started pulling at the covers underneath him to tuck him in. Using all your might to shove him a bit aside and pull at the blanket. He went along with the movements till you were able to free his blanket from underneath him. - "Goodnight sir." - you whispered laying the blanket over him. Jake didn't respond already off. You turned the lights off before leaving.
Returning to the kitchen, you waited, staring at the counter. His letter clear on the table. Taking a deep sigh, you walked over to it. Coming to sit in his previous seat to read it. Pen between your fingers. It was formal with words you knew he'd never use daily. It was written in the way it would please his father, like he had always been taught. Knowing what words or apology would please his father.
The note not even close to his heart. Exhaling soft, you placed the note down. A moment later you phone beeped. Making you take it out and see who has texted it. Mister Seresin, his father. Swallowing deep, you opened the text. He wanted to know how his son was doing and if he regretted his actions yet. You were unsure what to answer, feeling caught in between.
You knew you needed to be honest with him. But you also felt for Jake. How his father's view on the empire was pressuring him when it was clear he didn't want to take over. He didn't want to waste his time behind a desk. He wanted to fly, be free and have a purpose in life. You also understood why Mister Seresin pressured for him to take over. He was his only son and flying always had risks. You guessed he just wanted to make sure his son would not be harmed.
To rather have him have a save and secured job than a reckless one as flying for Top Gun. Besides who else would take over the empire if not his son. He needed an heir and the only one, didn't even want it. It felt too complicated to be mixed up between them. But you were the bridge between their relationship. Trying to keep both parties as happy as possible.
You texted him back that he was doing alright and that you were working on it. Which wasn't entirely a lie. You then checked the socials one last time. Seeing how people still commented on his behavior underneath photo's of him. They called his behavior snobby and outrageous. Calling him out for ruining the restaurant.
Checking your mails, you sighed soft at their reply's. All going with: due to last events, we are declining any partnership until further notice. A lot of his appointments canceled as no one wanted their business or name be associated with such drama. His shedule was emptying and you had no idea if his reputation could still be mended. Unable to look at it anymore, you shut your phone off. Heading for bed as you couldn't take another thought about it.
He filled his cup with coffee. Turning round, he blew gently on it. His gaze falling on the untouched toast on your plate. He leaned forwards pushing it closer to you. It made you quirk your eyebrow up. - "You're not eating Y/n." - he pointed out. - "Not that hungry." - you replied. Jake curled up a teasing smile. - "If you faint, i'll have to give you mouth to mouth breathing. I have a lisence for it." - he finished with a wink.
The next morning, you were the first one up. Sitting at the counter with your tablet as your toast laid untouched on the plate. Jake entered the room ten minutes later yawning loud and scratching the back of his head. - "Morning Y/n." - he said going to take out a cup. - "Morning sir." - you replied as he seemed to have forgotten about last night. About how visibly he was staring at your lips with the most googly eyes ever. Or he just decided to ignore it.
Your eyes widened hoping you weren't showing him any hints of bashfulness. Quickly taking the toast, you bit a large part of it. - "Good girl." - Jake teased making you shoot him a glare. - "Now where is that letter of mine." - he sighed out, looking around. - "No need to work further on it." - you told him. - "How so?" - he asked confused. - "At least not today." - you specified with a smile.
"I see." - Jake answered. - "Know it doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook." - you called out to him. Jake started chuckling. - "I was wondering when the battering was coming." - he replied looking all smug. He set his cup down, pressing his hands on the counter, leaning forwards. - "So what's on the agenda today?" - he asked making you look curious at him.
Noticing how dependable he was on you orchestrating his activities. - "You are free to do what you like. I'm not giving you any requirements today." - you responded feeling a bit guilty at how strict you had been keeping him. All in the name of his father. Jake hummed curious. - "Does that mean you are free as well?" - he questioned looking up. It made you look up surprised from your tablet.
"I have work to do." - you told him. Jake puffed loud at the workaholic you were. - "Work that can wait." - he reminded you pushing your tablet down. You shot him a glare only making him smile more teasingly at you. - "What do you even want to do with me." - you asked knowing you had just given him a clear shot to tease you. He already started smirking.
Knowing that mind of his was full of boyish intentions. You sighed loud gesturing at how to spit it out. Jake kept his mouth closed, crossing his arms. - "Go on, tease me. Laugh at your own silly comments towards me." - you told him. Jake remained silent. - "I'm not going to tease you." - he answered. - "You are not?" - you replied in shock. Jake shaking his head. - "The flush on your cheeks says enough." - he pointed out making you touch your cheeks if they had burned up.
Jake laughing loud afterwards as you managed to still fall into his trap. Jake and you went for a walk around the house. Went into town for some supplies. You cleaned around the house as Jake was busy outside. When the evening was falling, you decided to make him a cup of coffee. You found Jake by the car, working on it. - "Sir." - you called out to catch his attention.
He sat up straight, cleaning his hands on a cloth. You offered him the coffee as he accepted it. - "Suprised I can work on a car?" - he asked with a tease. - "No." - you replied knowing well enough he needed to maintain his F16 at Top Gun as well. He gestured for you to take a seat if you wanted to. You kept him company, looking up at the darkening sky.
Jake's phone beeped beside you. You didn't mean too, but you looked at the lit up screen, seeing it was a girl texting him. - "You got a text." - you told him as he moved his head from under the hood. He reached his hand out for you to give him the phone.
You watched as Jake smiled briefly, quick to respond to it. - "One of your many flirts?" - you asked him with a tease. Jake turned to look at you. An intruisive thought crossing his mind. - "Do you even have a life beyond this?" - he wanted to know.
"You are my life." - you responded all too quickly. Realizing too late what you had said, you got up. Running back inside with a head full of shame. What must he think now of you. Pathetic was the least how you wanted him to see you.
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Disillusioned 26 . I Blinked and Suddenly..?
a/n: Happy last chapter! I hope you enjoyed reading this series! Also, it's my first time writing something like this wish me luck! I might upload some side stories though, there's some discarded chapters I didn't include that I think would be fun to use as side chapters.
tags: feelings have finally progressed, a bit chaotic
English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors
Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission
Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome
Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)
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3 months. That’s how long Cale Henituse had been gone to complete the Sealed God’s test. Time flew faster on Earth 2 but it was still a long time.
Too long.
He enjoyed his experience there. Enjoyed rewriting fate and healing his despair. He knows it will not rewrite his past nor make him forget. Nonetheless, he was happy.
But his even happier to be back to his home. To his family.
That’s why he allowed himself to be emotional. To bask in the moment while accepting his family's greeting. Even the deadly barrier did little to ruin his mood.
Perhaps he had been too emotional. Maybe he let his emotions get the best of him.
As he stepped out of the grass bed, that’s devoid of barriers, he finally saw one of the people he had been looking for the most.
_____.
3 months. They have been apart for 3 months. Again, it was faster on Cale’s end but it was still too long of a time.
He feels his heart beat faster in his chest. And no it’s not because of the Vitality of the Heart.
Surge of emotions passed him as he stared at their face. They had been waiting at the back, letting the kids and everyone else have their moment first. A smile graced their faces as they watched the scene unfold before them.
“Welcome home. I missed you.”
_____ smiled warmly at him, and for a moment he thought his brains malfunctioned a little.
“Do you know just how much my heart longed for you while I was away?”
‘I’m home. I missed you all too.’
Okay, maybe it wasn’t just a little.
“Cale..? Excuse… me..?”
Fuck it all.
How could he do something so stupid as getting his thoughts and speech mixed up?
For a moment Cale wanted to return to Earth 2.
It didn’t help that in the corner of his eyes he could see Rosalyn holding a communication device with Alberu on the other side of the line. The mage probably called him after sensing that something interesting was going to happen.
Cale didn’t notice the video recording orb on Raon’s hand. If he did he might’ve coughed out blood on the spot.
“Cale..? Are you okay?”
_____ walked towards the silent Cale. They touched his forehead to see if he was sick or something. A blush still coating their face from Cale’s unexpected confession.
“...I’m fine. But for now, let’s talk.”
The redhead drags the healer to one of the empty rooms in the black castle. Behind them, he could hear Beacrox saying he’d start cooking dishes for Choi Han and him.
_____ sat on a couch inside the room, waiting for Cale to speak. Their mind was too chaotic from his words to start the conversation.
“I… I mean…I’m-”
Cale stammers. It’s so uncharacteristic of him. He never stammers. But he truly doesn’t know what to say. Mind too chaotic to let proper words out.
“Take your time. It’s okay, just say whatever you want to say.”
_____ encourages him while squeezing his hand. It does more bad than good, their bodily warmth making his brain go into even more overdrive. It kind of feels similar to when he overuses Record.
“You probably could tell already from what I said earlier. I have feelings for you. I adore you.”
He decided to not make any excuses. The cat was already out of the bag, might as well make it roam around the house.
“Oh… so you do…”
Cale’s heart drops at the response. It sounds as if the healer was deep in thought.
But it’s fine, they don’t need to return his feelings. As long as they’d still be friends Cale is satisfied enough with that.
As long as their happy Cale will be happy.
“This is a bit comedic…”
_____ started speaking and Cale pushed away his thoughts to listen.
“Back at the Endable Kingdom, I told myself I would let go of my feelings for you. Especially when you were inside that orb. I told myself that I would be satisfied with our current standing.”
Oh
Oh
They felt the same way.
_____ actually feels the same way!
“I didn't expect our feelings to be mutual.”
The healer offered a wobbly smile. One that’s full of emotions.
“I have feelings for you too. And I’ve had them for a while now.”
Everything at once came crashing down on Cale. The confession being the trigger of it all. He felt a myriad of emotions to the point he wasn’t sure what he was feeling anymore.
In spite of everything he had the mind the pull them into a hug. A hug where he conveyed all the feelings he couldn’t say out loud. All the love and longing he has felt. All the hesitation and doubt.
He showed it through that hug.
The healer reciprocated it too. Showing all of their unfiltered emotions in the embrace. From their regrets to the abundance of affection they have for Cale. _____ left nothing out.
“Can I kiss you?”
If Cale is allowing his emotions to control the situation, he might as well go all out.
He opened his eyes that he didn’t notice he closed to see _____ nodding in approval.
With nothing else to hold him back, Cale leaned in until their lips touched. His eyes closing once they do.
If their hug felt as though a door opened to a field of emotions then this kiss felt like a whole new world.
Their movements are sweet, gentle. As if the other was glass that would break if they moved the wrong way. As if they were a feather that would fly away if the wind blew too hard.
Care and love were poured into the kiss. In fact, it was the only thing they could feel. The longing they felt these past months. Inhibition is now being let go after so long— concern for the other’s well-being is showing itself instead.
Such things were being conveyed in a single kiss.
And Cale doesn’t want it to end.
But alas, they are merely humans who need air to live. They also have a lot of things to get done.
“Don’t frown like that silly. We can continue later. For now, we have a lot of business to take care of.”
_____ laughed at Cale before giving him one last peck on the cheek before opening the door.
Thump!
Crash!
Several people toppled over as the door opened. There was even a communication and a video recording device in the mix.
“AHAHAHAHA! Were you guys trying to listen in? Even the rising sun of our kingdom is trying to gossip.”
Cale felt his mild irritation be washed away at his lover’s laugh.
Lover…
That sounds good.
It sounds really good.
“Is this really something that would pique your interest? Enough to eavesdrop like that?”
“But it took you long enough human!”
Raon’s chubby paw pointed at him accusingly. As if he was an avid watcher of a romance telenovela and the main couple finally got together.
Cale raised his hands at the toddler’s action. He didn’t know why he was surrendering but it felt appropriate at the moment.
“Young master, the food has been prepared.”
Ron smiled benignly as if he wasn’t one of the people eavesdropping. To his credit, he was doing it stealthily.
But still.
“Go eat. As they said you and Choi Han looked a bit skinnier than before. You must eat your fill.”
_____ dragged his hand out of the room. Ignoring the people, and devices, flat on the ground.
Everything was chaotic. From the confession to the situation now. All of it happened suddenly, a bunch of spur-of-the-moment scenarios clustered in one.
However.
Cale and _____ wouldn’t change anything even if given the chance.
For this was their family. A mismatched group of people that somehow came together. And they wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.
#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#tcf#lcf#cale henituse#lotcf#totcf#tcf x reader#lotcf x reader#lcf x reader#totcf x reader#manhwa x reader#cale x reader#cale henituse x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#x gn reader#x reader#disillusioned . tcf
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anyway I had a thought today where crown prince xie lian is younger than everyone else.
He is probably 6-7 when he gets mu qing and feng xin (who are 16-17) and they coddle him a lot. Basically XL is their baby brother and baby prince wants to be as strong as his older brothers because they are both so cool!!!
baby lian meets hong-er on the streets one day and please gege can’t we keep him??? I don’t have friends!! You two don’t count cause you’re not my age. Please just please!!!!
So that’s how the trio becomes a quartet and feng xin and mu qing are not only the body guards of the prince but also baby sitters of two very unruly kids who are never up to any good
(They are not getting paid enough to deal with them) (it’s a damn good thing they love the fuck outta those kids)
anyways XL starts his training and ofc Honger tags along. they grow up training together, challenging each other, competing but falling in love at the same time and yeah celibacy is easy for XL except every time he sees HC his thoughts go haywire
When XL ascends, he has three generals by his side.
When he falls, he has two because honger died in the war
And XL truly thinks he is to blame. He went from being the darling of the heavens to someone who has now lost everything. he can’t bear the loss of his beloved
(And he never even got to confess)
Ofc HC keeps him company as a ghost fire because he’d never let his beloved be alone. (XL does not know who the ghost fire is because knowing the love of his life is not at peace would hurt him immeasurably) FX and MQ try their best to stick with him but circumstances deteriorate and they are forced out of his life once again
although this time, MQ does stand up for XL in front of the 33 gods (and gets subsequently banished from heavens). In the end, he still has to leave XL. FX gets forced out of his life after the entire sword ordeal and XL’s subsequent mental breakdown.
Unknown to XL tho they are still both watching over him from a distance because ain’t no way they are leaving their baby bro like this
When XL enters his calamity era, they both lose their minds and are trying their best to subtly stop XL from doing the worst things but THAT STUPID FUCKING GHOST ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WILL NOT STOP ENABLING EVERY BAD DECISION XL TAKES
fx and mq are losing their minds. when xl lies in the streets for three days, they try their best to disguise themselves and go help him but that NAMELESS GHOST!!! He does not let them!! “Your highness would be heartbroken when he realizes you two have seen him in such a state and he’d never forgive himself and you two suck at disguising yourselves anyways~”
wu ming does end up getting dispersed but not before XL realizes his true identity and absolutely loses his mind with grief because how did he manage to lose his loved one not once but TWICE and both the times it was HIS FAULT
He gets banished from heavens again because ofc
knowing xl won’t be able to cope fx and mq finally reveal themselves. xl can feel all ashamed of himself for his actions it’s fine they are not leaving him alone again and they will help him heal and move on
Except one night when the two aren’t paying attention, XL ends up running away. He can’t bear being around them, knowing they know what he did and how he caused honger’s death twice.
(fx and mq never blamed him at all. They were just heartbroken and guilt stricken for not being able to do enough for their darling brother)
Cue 800 years of searching.
This time when XL ascends, he is greeted by two powerful generals who have been reduced to a tearful mess because THEY FINALLY HAVE XL BACK WITH THEM!!! THEIR BABY BRO IS SAFE
they accompany him to mount Yu Jun as themselves and HC comes to XL’s aid
he does not reveal his identity but XL just knows this man is special
FX and MQ then tell him about Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the elusive ghost king who challenged 33 gods and crushed them all
(But he was super nice to both of them and it kinda freaked them out)
When XL meets San Lang. He knows. He just knows it’s Honger and feels like he can finally breathe again because in those 800 years he never once stopped loving him but he waits for him to reveal his identity to him because what is stopping him from telling him and fx and mq?
HC, meanwhile, is sort of embarrassed to meet them, not sure if they would be able to accept this new form of his. He missed them all dearly but he is just not able to move past his self doubts.
It is not until the cave of 10k gods that it revealed who HC really is and instead of FX and MQ freaking out, there is a tearful reunion
Um yeah. A thought was thunked. Bon Appetit
#somehow this AU has more angst potential than the OG work and still it is less ???#idk how to explain it#can y’all see my vision#Xian le quartet being a found family who kept on LOSING each other#like wow#i low key wish someone would write this#mxtx#tgcf#xie lian#hua cheng#feng xin#wu ming#mu qing#hualian#adding fengqing in the mix would make it 10x more delicious but maybe that’s just me hehe
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Demon's Desire - Greedy Watcher
Summary: Waking up isn't always the fun part, there is nothing more then just wanting to stay in bed and hoping everything bad that just happened is a lie and everything will somewhat go back to normal. But what if it wasn't?
Parts: teaser 01
Word Count: 4.7k
Tags: Demon au, Demon stray kids, Demon Chan, Demon Felix, Demon Changbin, Demon Jeongin, Demon Hyunjin, Demon Han, Demon Lee Know, demon Seugnmin, Unprotected sex, possession, Obsession, watching, MDNI, talks of hell
Taglist: @felixneverbadd @gnusihcom @a-short-ass-disappointment
PS: feel free to ask to be added to the tag list or any other series or one-shot I'll be writing in the feature!, Also thank you from the support from here and for those watching the election with us, know your thoughts and prayers were with us and someway, somehow, we are going to get out of his grip and keep going and standing strong for us. A lot of things were rigged during this and hopefully there will be action taken against this and if not, just know I will find a way to survie and come back ready to tell stories and still write on her, my soruce of comfort
“It’s a miracle you survied those wounds from that crash. Most of them were so sever you should’ve died when you entered the hospital.” The doctor told me, looking over my chartd while I just sat there on a hospital bed trying so hard to listen and retian all of his words he was trying to tell me but it was hard to. Everything that happened before I woke is still playing in my mind like a broken recrod player and there was honestly nothing I could about it other then just sit here trying to put the pieces together. My throat and chest still burned even after I took that drink, it had to be blood because I was still tasting iron like I sucked on a cut in hopes it would stop bleeding. But there was nothing else I could do, there was nothing more I was even thinking of doing. I just knew I needed to focus. “Is there anyone you would like us to call to take you home? Any family members or anything in that nature?” I looked over to the doctor to only shake ym head. For all I knew my family was dead to me, living however they wanted and I wanted to keep them as far away as possible and there was nothing more that I wanted to do with them.
“We will keep you here for the night and discharge you in the daytime just to give yourself more rest and monitor just incase of anything happening. Please press the help button if you need anything. You’re nurse will be Hy-in, she’s very alert.” I gave him another piloet nod as he left the room, closing the door behind him while I looked at the monitor, everything was steady and slow. Despite the burning I was feeling. All I could do was let out a sigh while leaning back in the bed, closing my eyes and replaying his last words in my head. I’m immortal now, but I can still feel pain despite it all. How am I supposed to know who those men were? They know who I am yet I won’t know who they are until I find those rose tattoos. Those darn things culd be anywhere but I guess that’s the fun part. But seeing them in my dreams? What could happen in there? I’m guessing I wouldn’t be able to wake up until they wanted me to or were just done with me till then and there was nothing I could about it. Which was weird to me.
Who were those men just sitting there, clearly they weren’t human, no human has te ability to trap you in a dream and sit in a place so hot, it felt like hell. Was my entire body and soul sold to 8 of them with a wine glass? I shook my head and tried not to think about it, I had a lot of things to handle in the morning and I hated that thought. I started to feel my pocket and hope my phone wasn’t as damaged and to my shock it was in perfect shape still, even opening it up nothing was taken or changed. I went to open my bank, being angry that all the money I had was most likely gone but it wasn’t. My bank balace when I last checked was around almost 3,000 won, I had almost 7,000 won from my show and ut was still added to my account still. Which was impossible given the fact that the money was flying around and burning even from the crash, in total I had about 10k won in total. It was confusing to me even, but I didn’t want to question it much more. I wanted to rest, I wanted t wake up and prepare myself for a stressful day and since it was my day off, it made it slightly better. But there was nothing else I wanted to think about.
I tried my best to be comfortable given my outfit, holding the pillow and closing my eyes just hoping for the best and not expect anything more after this. I stayed and kept tossing and turning before opening my eyes. I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom as I stood up and turned around, but I was more in shock then anything. There was my body, sleeping peacefully and comfortably like I was at home just getting comfortable and there was nothing else I could do. I looked around in a panic before seeing lights flash from under the door. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave the room but I decided to because what else did I have to lose? Walking to the door was hard, slowly making my way over like I could glide my way over before slowly holding the cold doorknob. I could only look down at the glowing light from under the door before slowly taking one deep breathe before slowly opening the door with my eyes closed, hoping to see something worse then what I was expecting from everything else that was happening but I felt nothing but a soft breeze from the left of me. Slowly opening my eyes and being surprised at what I saw.
The room I was in had a view of everything, I could see the skylines with the stars shinning brightly, walking to the large wall of windows I was looking down atthe city of Seoul, it was surprising to me, because I quickly turned around and saw my body still asleep on the bed of a cold hospital room. But the door was slowly closing and I was left alone in this large room, where things were still slowly coming into view. On the left was a large black couch with comofrtable pillows that seemed to have fancy designs and some strings around them. On the edge of the couch was a small black table with a single wine glass that was filled halfway but it looked like it was being drank out of. The floor was a large white carpet, everything on this side looked lurxury, to the side it had hte same feeling but there was a bed. It was a large cirlce bed with a canopy circing around it, the black curitans with gold flowers circling around it, almost like waking up as a prince everyday and going to bed like one.
“And Hello to you to, Diamond.” I wanted to scream at the deep voice, but all that came out was a surprised yell and me quickly turning around to see the person. But I still couldn’t see his actual face. But I could see everything else, his blonde combed back hair with something covered his face, it didn’t look like a mask but I couldn’t see anything other then his lips and nose, his eyes were hidden from me. There was nothing I could do other then take in how he looked, honey tanned even which is something thay often gets washed in a blinding white to give off something different when certrain places take the pictures, it’s stupid to me because the tone is overall delciious to look at. What he was screaming was something you’d see a prince would wear. A buttoned up white shirt with ruffles on the sleeves and on the chest with tight black pants. Wearing black heels even which wasn’t something I was used to seeing outside of the nightclub. And on top of that he had white gloves with black ruffles on the end.
He was almost the same ehight as me, but taller. He stoof tall with his hands behind his back while I could still feel the eyes on me. He seemed to be enjoying my reaction while wlaking around me before walking to get his wine glass, slightly swirling it around while sitting on the couch. “Who…The fuck- how am I here.” I tried to demand, watching him do all of this while trying to keep my hands close to me while I could hear his chuckle. It was rich and deep, something that could make your knees shiver and you want to hear him talk just for the fun of it. Trying to stand my ground while just watching him. “You made a deal when you drank that special wine for you, you’re in my house. You’re talking to someone wo truly enjoys…greed.” I could only tilt my head and just watch him. My soul is now gone from me and there is this person right in front of me knowing so much more about this, yet enjoying my confusion and making sure to enjoy it as much as he could while I watch.
“Luxury, things I deseve afterall. Soon you might get to enjoy it, if you can figure it out.” All i could really do was jsut waatch him. I didn't know what to say, what could I even say to him? It’s clear that whatever I got myself into was something there was no backing out of. Go on, come over. What all I could even to do you? Bite already? That would be moving too fast. Besides you have a little while longer before you wake up.” “The crash…I know I saw hyunjin, what did he do afterwards. You must know him given all of this" It all just came out, but it seemed to make him stop drinking his wine and I could feel the slightly shocked look on his face as he looked at me. Almost like I wasn't supposed to have saw hyunjin there or figure it out this so soon. But I grew up putting things together in a fast length without needing to say it out loud, and it was clear that I was right about this and there was nothing he could even say to me to distract me.
“Sharp like a diamond, he'd be flatter if you figureed out his that fast but I'll let him figure it out.” I crossed my arms, fixing my stance even though my feet weren't hurting which was weird because they would usally be hurting by now, especially with heels. “But, we are forced to tell you the truth, whether any of us wanted to or not. But, yes he was there, he enjoys sneaking away or chasing someone. Now as for what he did afterwards you were stuck in that set up car is something you will have to ask him about when you see him. Don't expect it to be tommorow, it could be at night when you sleep. Naps in the day don't work either since we need to blend in with mortals at that time and get things done, and keep you on your toes so you remember why you're here and alive in the first place. Trying to do more then your ready for isn't the best way to start things out.” He snapped his fingers and before I could push more, I woke up on the bed. No dramatic gasping for air like I was dying, just a calm slow wake up while I rubbed my eyes and tried to get things right in my head that felt like it was spinning nonstop like I've beenspinning for 30 minutes straight.
But I was told I could leave, and that's all I wanted to do. Looking at the clothes I had to wear since mine were cut open so they could do their best to save me with no time to waist. My Wig as horrible but that glue was holding on, it was just a mess and tangled, this wasn't cheap but I won't be mad at the staff for doing the best that they could for their job. I walked out in sandlas someone gave me with my broken heels in hand outside, holding what little I ahd before I saw Hyunjin again, he was standing far off to the left of the walkway just right outside the main entrnace. I almost wanted to scream when I saw him, but I turned to the right thinking I could outrun him and I saw someone I never wanted to see. It was my sister, she was looking at me and I feel like she could stil tell it was me and I quickly turned and walked straight to hyunjin like I was trying to run but kept my pace from it, speed walking if you will. I could hear her trying to call my real name with her heels clicking behind me, I wanted to walk past hyunjin but he just held his arm around me like he did last night before teh crash and we began to walk away.
I wanted to punch him and just walk home but the fact that he was getting me away from her quicker was helpful. I didn’t want to know why she was at the hospital and I didn’t want to open that door that was locked and chained up for a reason and I thought I made it clear. He kept walking with me till we got to another luxury car. I almost dind't want to go till he leaned in my ear. “If you want to keep her off your tail, stay with me. She's been trying to play a gold digger and stay outside of hospitals like this to see if seh could snatch up someone.” I rolled my eyes as I got in the car and sat on the far side while he got in and sat beside me. Closing the door while flipping his hair back, I just knew I was about to be getting into some drama that might overall..make me happy to see her fail at it. I was curious because there seemed to be someone else in the car. His hair was straight and blone, glowing even which is something I tend to be jealous but I kept it to myself. He was wearing a leather jacket and it was clear that whoever this was, was close with hyunjin.
“She's almost always waiting otuside with you and it's annoying to deal with it everytime, surely you have better things to tell her besides to leave.” The deep voice person said, crossing his legs as the car started, us ignoring the knocking on the window and I was more surprsied to see her just standing there trying to knock and see inside of the car that we got into. It amde me ma to see that even after everything with our family happened she still hasn't changed. But it's not my business and I won't let her make it for me. I crossed my arms and my left leg over my right before turning to hyunjin, wanting answers and there wasn't anyway I was about to leave without getting any of them tonight. “She enjoys causing scenes in public, I'm over it and seeing how diamond-" “y/n.” I corrected him, since diamond was my stage name and I wasn't at work, I didn't want to hear it when I'm not at work or with a client. He smirked before trying to continue his sentence. “Y/n, reacted to her, that scene would've been too much and we need to take them back home. Let them relax for a while.”
I felt myself roll my eyes again at the sound of that last remark. I still have questions but with seeing someone else in the car, I felt like it wasn't right since I didn't know them and I didn't want to sound crazy in front of them. So I just tried to talk about last night, before the crash at least. “Is this one fo the men from the bar last night that sat with you? How did that talk go?” turning to give him my attention, I saw hyunjin had his legs crossed and turrned to me to give over his full attention. “Ah that one, we got a deal to buyout the curruent owner. The Place will be shut for a full renovation while everyone still gets paid, free paid leave. And when it's done you'll have more time to decorate your rooms. It'll be more.. safe for those who want to try but are too scared of people with money.” I rasied a brow as I listned to him give me the reasoning, it wasn't bad, we do get a lot of new people and they often run becauase of how many men stand and sit around on the main floor and get violent when drunk. It's not something we aren't used to, but it's stupid that it gets this far.
“That's not a bad Idea, what about your friend right here? Did he like the club as much as you did you? You seemed to be more intrested in getting the place then anyone else.” He took a while to answer, looking like he was trying to carefully pick his words carefully just to not give out anything I'm not supposed to know about now and he wanted to prolong the Guessing game and there was no cheat corners. “Places like that aren't just a place for men to pay for something. Men who dance and women who dance are trying to get by to live for something and need somewhere to go without the fear of getting too much of taxes removed because too many people want to fill their pockets with something. Or think just because they paid they get a say in everything.” I wanted to say that he was genuine with his response with everything. I wanted to say I was surprised by this since he seemed to enjoy these things. But not because o that but ebcause he was worried for the people who have to work in those shitty confditions and how there was almost nothing more gross then someone crossing someones boundaires for their own personal gain and walk out like nothing bad will happens. Someitmes our boss will get the cops involved, but I feel like she was doingmore dangerous things on the side and would try to get the others to let it slide so she doesn't get caught, and hates the cops coming over.
Don't get me wrong she wasn't a really shitty one, she wanted to get as much money as she could and grow the place, but getting us tied in with dangerous work was beginning to be her downfall to everything and it was slowly coming over to bite her in the ass. I still had questions but it was clear he needed to go somewhere, and that we were at another building that wasn't mine. I looked over to him and watched him tryto fix his hair, his outfit was something most people wouldn't think as professional for something important but given how expensive everything looks, I hightly doubt no one knew who he was when he walked through a building. Fully being able to look at his outfit, the shirt he had was mainly a dark red wioth black spots that reminded me of a leopard. With pants that reminded me of a dusty gray wioth a black and gold belt, a large cilver chain hanging from the left side of the pants that seem to reach his inner thigh. I almost didn't even see he had a black tank top under his main shirt. The outfit with teh black botts on his feet ot matchmade it look amaizng. At least my hope of him knowing how to dress was right because I would've cried if he didn't. “Have fun with my friend up here, I'm certain he'll keep you occupied till you get home and start tp feel better about yourself, that was a very…nasty wreck.”
I looked at him with wide eyes as the car started to drive off and he did a little finger wave. He knew I wanted to ask, he knew I needed answers yet he left just before I could even ask teh question and I wanted to get out of the car and shake him. But the door was locked and so were the windows and all I could do was jsut watch him confidently walk up those stone stairs and have hte door open for him with him bowing in return. I wanted to chase but I would just look crazy. “Don't try top get out, unless you plan on fighting that girl and him just watching. He loves a good show. Now tell the driver where we're going so you can feel fresh, I can imagine all of those knots and tangles must be a pain to remember you have to deal with later.” I looked towards the review mirror and was surprised at the eyes I was seeing, those bright sky eyes were something I always secretly admired from afar but never wante to tell someone taht because most of the time I've told soemone that, they loved the attention and just made it annoying to keep trying at this point with trying to get to know them since they tend to use their eyes as a weapon. Something that also takes time to learn and master after what felt like hours when it's only been minutes of it. I lokoed at the driver and told him the same thing I told the lat one, sitting back in the soft cream leather seats and buckling myself up again out of habit.
“she's alwayts been like that.” “Oh, so you know her?” “Blood related to her, nothing else but that.” I rolled my eyes, surprised she even rememebred my name when seh saw me. I had changed and grew so much but I guess that's what happens when you're the older sibling andhave htat special sibling link I guess. I won't lie when I listen to this man, he knows he would be wanted by people just like everyone else in his group of friends last night. Looking like a walking model with his eyes, lips, and even the freckles. I know that peoeple were falling at his knees just because of those. “Worried she would try something to get you embarrassed as well?” “If her parents were able to rebuild themselves then of coruse she would to try and spin the story against me, which really wouldn't work in her favor since I still keep records of them, and knowing her she thinks I live in a homeless shelter and was struggling.” “People often get lost in their own greed thinking no one else could ever get up that far, I'd enjoy the crushed look on her face if she actaully saw the place you live in. Nothing ever happens here.” I felt ymself smirking while we came to the neighborhood my large aparmtent was.
I felt so relived to see the place adn know I was so close to getting there. I never hd to worry about losing the key because everyday when we leave, we leave the key at the key master's desk and he sets the key either under the number, if you only stay for a while, and if you stay long enough, you get a name plate over your key since everyone pratically knows you by now. Some people just rent out rooms for whatever reason adn tehn just leave a couple of days later which is something I tend to enjoy one way or another. It wasn't fun but it also wasn't annoying either since sometimes you'd be able tp hear them since some of the floors are like clubs and bars. Usally palces would just drop me off, but the driver took me to the garage and went to the dropoff spot and parked the car. I was slightlysurprised to see the man in front stepping out when I opened hte door as well, closing it slightly before turning to look at him. I saw something on his left side, since he was wearing only a blue jean jacket that wasn't buttoned closed and there was nothing else under it. It was him, and I knew it was.
Even with his slightly loose blue jeans, I knew exactly what I was looking at even when we both met eyes again. He seemed to have smiled before motioning we walk to the door since the driver didn't need to hear the conversation, which worried me. But we walked to the door and I watched him press in the right passcode into the door before we walked in and it closed once we walked inside. “You have a-" “Rose? Yes, I do. You really do make this fun with how much you pay attention. It's like a guessing game.” I walked besided him slowly, I still had my things in hand while we got to the desk, I asked for mine and he asked for his. “Felix Lee? Ah so you're who I got the wig from.” Holding my key and turnng back to him, he looked more shocked and widen his eyes as he really got to look at the wig, like he was offended this happened to something he help produce to those who could afford it. They were made of high quality and truly could hang on and look great during anything, given the state mine is in after tumbling in a car about a good five times and sold my soul afterwards just to live.
I started to walk but he was next to me while we walked to the elevator, I take it the things we needed to talk about were something no human ear needed to hear. “No wonder it looked familiar to me, I can give you two for…half off?” I raised a brow as I looked at him, the elevator doors closing while I pressed the very top floor, which was on the 30th floor, and he pressed the one under it. “Greedy much?” I wanted to joke, but he leaned closer and his eyes flashed green for a second, and it felt like last night. Though I coudln't see anything, I could feel that stare no matter how weird it was at the fact that I couldn't see anything for that entire time. I felt my heart sank to the bottom of my foot before going back up to my chest. “Can't give things for free, even if you do have…a rose on your side. You won't feel it till you look in the mirror at yourself. But that's for a later time. Nice to meet you actaully face to face, y/n.” He walekd out of the elevator once the door opened, he was humming something while the doors slowly closed before taking me up to my floot. There wasn't a lot of rooms up here but I wonder why he wasn't in one of the rooms up here with me, I'm guessing so I cantruly relax and not go up a wall?
All I did was shake my head while walking out to my door. Slowly opening it and looking around before closing it. I missed my place, it had everything I liked and was oranged to how I would like it. Something I loved for myself while all I could do was let out a relaxed sigh, knowing I have a lot to do. Detangle my wig, probably still get one if not two from him and figure out what else I need to do. I hate not haivng my list of things to do and now having to worry about missing something and not panic or worry about it. But I will figure all of this out later, I know I can and I know that I will. But before I could fully leave teh door,I heard a quick knock, which surprised me but I opened the door and looked down, it was two new platinum wigs, one was more sparkly then the others with a note on it. “you still owe me half price for these, can't let you fall off the hook just yet when the games just started, don't you agree, little diamond?”
#fanfic#fantasy#bang chan#felix#seungmin#lee know#han jisung#changbin#hyunjin#jeongin#stray kids x male reader#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#felix x male reader#kpop imagines#kpop x male reader#demon au#royalty au#sin au
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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website
#kai.txt#negativity tw#(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them#when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds#'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something#that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place#we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does#to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting#and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces#go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets#that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases#or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place#but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces#they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either#they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters#im just so fucking tired of the disrespect#and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site#we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.
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So i've seen a lot people state that due to horror's circumstances surrounding his eye and the *cough* forced *cough* removal of it, its basically turned him into a zombie as he can no longer die to phyiscal attacks and if he were to be harmed, he be KO for a bit before gettingg up and continuing like nothing had happened. Do you have any clue where I could find the origin of this because I REALLY don't know if its been a rumor spread across the fandom or its been started ofifically by sourapple somewhere and I can't find it.
(btw I love you headcannons their so great)
hello!!!! thank you 4 the ask :333 alright lets get into it ‼️
from what i've seen of my scouring of horrortale content there isn't exactly a DIRECT confirmation of SAS being like "oh btw horror's immortal lul". i think that the horror's immortal unless the eye is destroyed thing came from the scene where horror's eye is put into the core to power it and then he comes back to life. one of the royal guards literally says that the eye is keeping him alive!!!! so the train of thought probably went off 4 some people that "hey since horror's eye literally REVIVED him from the dead and he's still alive doesn't that mean that as long as the eye is intact he'll stay alive?"
however just because the eye is keeping him alive doesn't mean that he can't take damage, we dont know that because nobody has actually attempted to attack horror b4!!! actually there WAS the one scene where horror paps bashed him over the head 4 a stick (the only person we've seen attack current day horror is paps 😭😭😭) BUT it wasn't like a total OH CRAP HE'S BLEEDING AND DEAD type thing (didn't pierce through his body either it was a blunt hit) like we saw right before horror got reanimated. it was probably just a bit of a headache thing,,,,
BUT ALSO just because we've never seen him get hit HARD on screen before like he did back @ the core, he is the only ht character to be able to sustain himself and deal with the chronic pain of starvation for SEVEN YEARS (snowdin has humans, toriel probably finds her own unique way, & everywhere else past snowdin it's just monster on monster cannibalism left and right) so he probably has some sort of increased defense to damage to be able to deal with that likely because the of eye since aside from it there's not much else seperating him from the normal horrortale monster (which are seen dying just a couple of months in)
personally i dont think he would be fully immortal because just. how would that work??? it's not like the core has the power to jumpstart his life a second time since he literally destroyed it???? and even if the core wasn't obliterated it would be the one TAKING power and energy from horror, not the other way around which could feasibly revive him (in my eyes),,,,, maybe it's something comparable to how boss monsters' souls survive a few seconds after they dust away but with horror's eye instead and by putting it in the suspended state necessary to power the core that achieved some sort of "temporary (permanent?) in between dusting" state 4 horror,,,,,
SO BASICALLY!!! it hasnt been OFFICIALLY stated by SAS that horror is 100% immortal, but he does seem to have some sort of increased defense to be able to deal w hunger pains & a hit from paps that would probably kill him if he still had his 1 HP from prior to the core incident. we dont know for sure if he's actually immortal immortal since horror's only been shown to take a fatal hit once and that was when his eye was put into the core, so it mightve just been a one off thing and if he takes another fatal hit, he would actually die. we'd never really know until we see horror get into a fight and get hit HARD! basically it's just a fanon theory that's supported by a LOT of canon material
#nerdy ahh response#triglycercule did you even answer the question??? i hope????? answering a question with a indefinite no is so shitty#getting off a drainingly annoying plane ride and seeing this was enlightening. YES PLEASE i need to mtthink#thank you for the compliment about my hcs (ToT)(ToT)(ToT)(ToT) i get so nervous about them sometimes#like omg is this OK??? SHOULD I BE SAYING THIS???? DOES THIS FIT THEIR CHARACTERS?????#what if its not something that the mtt would do and i'm just delusional and everyone else tells me no triglycercule no#the murder time trio would NOT do that your idea is bad!!!!!!!#canon is my ideal fanon is my heaven and yet i am stuck between both#at least even if my interpretations of them are wrong that i know a lot about my trio....... at least...................#want more horror rambles want more horror content can someone please talk more about canon horror#tricule ask#heh.... another one to the pile. where is that smug tiktok emoji when i need it#i never tag my asks but maybe i should this one???? perchance. probably not#doing it anyways because i love to torture myself. omg just like like like THE MURDER TIME TRIO? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE#horror sans#horrortale#murder time trio#bad sanses#utmv#sans au
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Time for another dream i had, this time about zutara.
This one is a lot shorter, but essentially I had a dream where kataras whole family(which seemed to have more members then in the show) all live in the fire nation, hiding the fact that they're water tribe(rather, they were water tribe).
Katara is in some sort of relationship with zuko. It's unclear if she's his wife, his girlfriend, or his mistress, but its not hidden. People know about her and her relationship with him.
(Putting the rest under a cut so I don't clog up the feed lol)
If she was his mistress it's kinda held in that way that kings had other women they'd sleep with along with their queen and it was just an accepted, albeit kinda shitty, thing to do.
Anyway, katara is also pregnant, which was kind of an underlying "plot point" and would return home to her family every day to check on them.
It's revealed here that katara is basically the only reason her family is doing pretty well for themselves. Her relationship with zuko means that they have enough to get by. It's also noted that her whole family(katara, sokka, their dad, their grandma, and some made up new family members) all live in one house. So its clear they're still kind of struggling.
It's also revealed, through a conversation with her grandma, that the only otehr reason katara is with zuko, is because it was part of a bigger plan. She and her family are part of a resistance against the fire nation, and when they realized zuko liked katara, wanted her to infiltrate and pretend to be in love with him.
The plan had clearly gone on longer then anticipated, for whatever reason, and katara is conflicted because she actually does have feelings for him now, not fo mention she's pregnant with his child.
There's a "scene" either at the beginning or after this reveal that shows zuko in a meeting with other fire nation officials, including his father and sister, and that either he was against one of their plans but is ignored or his plan gets shut down(I don't remember which). Katara always sits in on these meetings with him, and afterwards, as everyone is getting up to leave, she leans her forehead against his and whispers that everything will be alright. This is why we can tell she truly does care about him, to some degree. But it's also a moment showing potential manipulation, like shes pretending to care. It's supposed to be a little of both, she needs him to trust her but she does still love him.
After all of this, we cut to a scene in a forest/swamp. This part is kind of blurry in my head, but basically, it's a secret meeting. Katara is dressed similarly to the painted lady, her and a few other resistance members, including Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda, are planning an ambush on Zuko and his family, who are supposed to travel down a path nearby. Katara is a key part of this plan, as she's the only waterbender, and she knows this. She nods along to everything regarding the plan and she goes over important points herself as well. But as everyone else continues talking, katara is having doubts. She loves Zuko. She's about to have his child. She cares for him. But she needs to free the world from the fire nations clutches as well. She doesn't want to kill Zuko, but she has to in order to help others. She's hesitating.
They continue with the plan anyway, and through the foliage that katara and the others are hiding in, we see a carriage making its way down the path. Zuko and his family(or at least his father) are in there.
Everyone is getting ready to fight, to jump out and attack. We see a close up shot of Katara, conflicted. She's still not sure if she can go through with this, if she can kill Zuko.
And then I woke up.
#i was disappointed with the cliffhanger too I KNOW#it was a super interesting dream though#i guess in this world aang doesn’t exist??? idk. dream logic.#but i fell in lpve with this idea afterwards#the whole dream had this sort of dreary tone#the war meeting scene was at night so it was dark. and fire was the only thing lighting up their faces#katara leaning her head against zukos felt like it held heavier implications then we saw#when we see where katara and her family live it felt very poverty stricken. crowded with barely any furniture. a tired air hung around them#the scene planning the ambush felt very heavy with what they were about to do + with kataras own reluctance.#like the decision was already made even though it wasn't#ANYWAY idk if this even makes any sense#i wrote this when i woke up that morning and then finished up the rest today lol#i didn’t proofread shit though so sorry for any weird phrasing or typos lol#i just wanted to share another wild dream i had#this was a fun one lol#might wrote a fanfic about it one day#and if you want to write a fic absed off my dream PLEASE DO#i just wanted to share the idea with teh zutara fandom#i figured yall would appreciate it like i did❤️#zutara#avatar the last airbender#atla zuko#zuko#atla katara#katara#idk what else to tag lol#aml speaks#aml dreams
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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*
#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz#today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz#but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he#trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian#and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses#to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is#(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die#manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside#BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before#I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a#spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into#so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron#but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma#reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis#in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions#of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately#attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the#shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he#round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz#(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)
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Hey, look guys, more art-
HOPE.
I’ve been wanting to draw him like this ever since I first saw him smile, but my will to draw eluded me until now! This started off as a doodle, so, please excuse the messiness. I drew this to de-stress.
“Fire” Red belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have a blog called @themissingnumbers, which is really good! Go check it out if you want to see more.
[Sketch + Colored Version below the cut!]
#Not my greatest work but it’s what I made :)#Hope you don’t mind the lack in quality- haha#I’ve made better pieces#but I still like this one!#I feel like I’m getting better at drawing his hair lmao-#I just kinda messed around with this one but I really wanted to draw him smiling#Fire smiling makes me happy :)#He deserves to be happy#and I hope I can help him attain that happiness.#Even if my help is the equivalent of Baby Steps lmao#Gotta start somewhere!#I could not find the font used for the hidden text for the life of me#but I found a similar one!#Hope Starry and the Mods are doing well!#And I hope we get to see more Happy/Hopeful Fire in the future :)#His smile is precious-#(Bonus!: Y’know what I really wanna see? Red smiling. And not the creepy wide/crazy/manic smiles he usually has.#I mean a true honest-to-god genuine smile. Now THAT would be a sight for the history books. Red deserves to smile too.#Just like everyone else does.#That might be my next goal aside from befriending Leaf—getting Red to smile.#Is that probably going to be extremely difficult? Oh most definitely! But I think he’s worth the effort.)#(Bonus-Bonus!: I wanna give Red a hug so bad-#but I also feel like he’d bite me or something if I tried :(#Maybe he’d just let it happen? Or cry. Or both—who knows?#Red deserves some gentle treatment. He’s been through a lot too.)#I wonder who I’ll get the will to draw next? Hopefully I’ll do them justice!#Long ahh tags Jesus Christ- Didn’t know I could max them out.#Missing Numbers#Fire Red Yuuji#My Art
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game
#an octopath ze au would be kinda fun actually.. especially the octo2 party#would love to see these guys in an escape room . it would be so awful#temenos would fit in perfectly and might even make a good mc given his 'truth lies in the flame' segments..#i could see partitio doing well bc of his creativity and general demeanor#osvald is great at math but idk how trusting hed be of everyone in this situation.. especially if they assume zero is one of them early on#throné . girlie im so sorry#i think shed do fine for the most part (hard to say how much her thieving skills would be of help here) but she did not deserve this </3#do not let ochette into any pantry or food storage room. i dont trust any of that food#i wonder if shed have her partner(s) here tho.. how do u handle an owl and/or jackal in this situation..#she would be great for morale tho#same for agnea tho i worry for her emotional state a lil bit . help her#who am i missing .. CASTTI#shes good at managing stress (both hers and others) in awful situations . thank god#and shes there if anyone gets hurt 👍#not that its likely outside of bad end situations ? tho i may be thinking of the 999 map too much..#would it be more fun to use that as the setting or something else altogether.. more modern or more like octopath 2..#how the fuck would someone even make an escape room in . what is it like the industrial revolution. steam era#would it make sense to be able to use magic in universe to pull off something similar..#the canonicity of some ingame mechanics is dubious so its hard to tell how malleable magics uses and effects are..#itd probably be easier to place everyone in a modern setting but i have no idea what some of them would be that way#.. modern fantasy setting ??????#what if they had smartphones in octopath. would that be fucked up or what#also who the hell would be zero . would anyone be in kahoots w zero.. or at least Know Things but be unable to say smth abt it#i straight up forgot to mention hikari earlier but hes prolly like. fine#his intrusive thpughts would probably Suck Bad here but hed want everyone to get out alive as much as everyone else combined#wait who would even be the 9th person. would it be zero. but who..#if it were octo1 id say kit but its harder to get a good octo2 equivalent of him.. hm..#oh god im out of tags . tho what would the game style be like.. nonary game ab game etc etc.. what would be unique but fitting..#am i gonna look into actual scientific theories for this . and how would the morphogenetic field come into play.. and Why..#octotag
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