#I WILL NEVER KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION PROPERLY I MIGHT AS WELL JUST

[kurosagi-h8r]

Praying they never do this with romeo. Please pray with me everyone.

[ozzgin]

The wonderful wizard Ozz. I have had this concept stuck in my head like a worm!

Could you imagine a Darling escaping from their Yan, not to run but just to feel the rain on their skin? I've been consuming this prompt like a heroin addict and I can't seem to get enough!

If I were to expand your prompt, I quite like the idea of a Yandere that can't really go full yandere because Reader is just too willing. He loves yandere content and can very much relate, but none of the escalations can happen if, well, the object of his obsessive affection doesn't protest in the first place. Is it too far fetched from what you'd imagined? Let me elaborate:

Yandere! Male x Willing! Reader

AKA: When you want to be a Yandere, but your Darling unfortunately cooperates.

The Yandere has been stalking Darling for months. Journal entries, walls plastered with photos (and the occasional creepshots), recordings. He just can't get enough of his Darling. He loves everything about you and can barely function throughout the day, fantasizing about your life together.

Enough is enough and he finally decides to make you his. He's been consuming media of similar tropes, with obsessed men pleading for a chance and having to force their way in because of rejection and fear. He's prepared for everything. Your tears, your trembling voice, your hands pushing him away. He finds you, approaches you and confesses his feelings, knuckles white as he grips his fists in anticipation. Your eyes widen for a moment, before narrowing in a smile. "I had no idea! Sure, I'll go out with you." Huh? Wait. This wasn't...this wasn't in the plan. Somehow he'd been certain you'd refuse. He must've mumbled the last part out loud, because you respond with "Why would I say no?"

A very good point indeed. You will change your mind, however, once you learn the extent of his love. You're holding his hand and following along as he takes you to his place, completely and utterly unaware of what you're about to witness. He can't truly be your boyfriend if he has to hide his very nature, after all. You might be disgusted, frightened, offended. He can already hear your screams, demanding explanations. It's all out of love. "It's okay if you don't understand", he mumbles to himself, watching your frozen body as you gaze into his room. You take a couple of steps towards the nearest wall, tracing the hundreds of images with your fingers. "Wow. You never mentioned being into photography", you remark, impressed. "It's like an exhibition! But...you might have to work on your angles", you blurt out, a little embarrassed, pointing to one of the creepshots. "This isn't very flattering. Did you take it in a hurry? It makes my legs look disproportionate." He can only stare, taken aback. "S-sorry" is all he manages.

Okay, but don't imagine your life will continue as usual. You've only seen a glimpse of his adoration. Now that you're officially dating, he cannot allow anyone else to have access to you. You have to understand, he cannot protect you properly if you're not under his watch all the time. As much as he cherishes you, he will have to be rough if needed. That's what he tells himself as he shoves the required tools in the trunk of his car, speeding towards your apartment. Once there, he fidgets on the sofa, considering his speech. You seem to be just as uneasy - perhaps you're predicting what's to come? - casting your eyes down and giving short answers. "I think you should move in with me." He states solemnly. You gasp and throw a hand over your mouth, and tears quickly well in the corner of your eyes. "How did you...how did you know?" You say between sobs. Huh? "I didn't want to burden you with my problems, seeing as we just started dating...but my landlord won't renew the lease. I was so scared I'd be homeless."

He clicks his tongue. This isn't very yandere, more like the average couple experience. You bring the final moving box to his car, fitting it in the trunk. "By the way, what's with all the rope?" you ask. "Just move it aside", he sighs. How can he explain it? He's been training, sweating and bleeding for a marathon and right before the whistle, they handed him the first prize. His muscles are aching for the sprint that never happened. Of course he's grateful to have you at last, but somehow he feels like he hasn't proven his dedication properly. You just don't get it, do you? How sickening his love is for you.

As the days pass, he eases into his role of...how does one even call it? Pseudo-captor? When you found his journal, you blushed and confessed how no one before him put this amount of effort into knowing you. All the male contacts from your phone vanishing? It was about time you cleaned up your acquaintances and it was nice of him to help. The AirTags he's hidden in your bags and pockets? You appreciate his safety concerns. Nowadays, with all these perverts freely walking the streets, you can never be too sure.

One morning he wakes up to an empty bed. He jolts up, dazed. Could it be his wish was finally granted? You must've gotten tired of him and tried to escape. Oh, silly little Darling love. You should've known there's no more walking out once you said yes. He checks his phone and pounces out, ready for the hunt. As he sprints along the street, he finds you suspiciously close to his home. Not very smart of you to...what are you even doing? Your hands are raised up, fingers fanned out under the pouring rain. You notice his presence and turn to face him with a wide, childish grin. "I haven't done this since I was a child. When was the last time you felt the rain on your skin?" Only now it occurs to him he's been running in this downpour and his clothes are soaked. He was too focused on finding you.

"I thought you escaped", he almost whispers. "Escape? From what?" You tilt your head in confusion. He places his cold, large hands over your cheeks. "Do you comprehend I'm very much obsessed with you? I'm not joking around. You're never, ever leaving me. You're stuck here forever. I mean it. I really do. I'd rather kill you with my own hands than let you go. Because I love you." You take a moment to admire the intricate patterns of his irises, pupils dilated in a spiraling madness. By the end of his erratic oration, he's panting and digging his nails into your skin.

"I know."

[rederiswrites]

I wrote this out for FB and then thought I might as well share it here as well. So if you have ADHD, are a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, and most particular if you are a person with a uterus and/or have children, this one might be for you.

...

Last couple of days have been a little...weird. Let's start at the beginning. Buckle up and learn something.

As many of you already know, I have ADHD. It's a condition with a PR problem--a lot of people, often even medical professionals, have a very distorted idea of what it does, and a very limited one. For starters, it's not about parenting, or lead paint, or lack of discipline. It's genetic, *highly* heritable, starts in childhood and persists throughout life, and is a sufficiently severe disability that it comes with a decrease in life expectancy of up to 13 years. It is a visible difference that can be perceived in brain scans. These are all, at this point, well established and thoroughly attested in the scientific literature. ADHD affects up to 5% of the population and appears across cultures. It is very common.

It's not just about lack of attention--in fact, plenty of medical professionals think the name should be changed, as in fact the problem isn't the volume of attention but the way we struggle to direct it. We are motivated by interest, and struggle to properly weight future goals and consequences, specifically because they are in the future. If the robin outside the window is more immediately rewarding to our brain, we will watch that, and not the teacher. Our ability to properly weigh the consequences of that choice is negatively impacted by our own biochemistry.

We struggle with many of what are termed the "executive functions", the self management systems of the brain. Degree and presentation varies from person to person, but initiating tasks, completing tasks, staying ON task, restraining impulses, emotional regulation, and working memory are among the things impacted. My working memory is notoriously horrible. When they send you those activation codes on your phone? I often have to go back and read them out several times to enter a six digit number. I have to stop and remind myself what I'm doing between every step of my morning bathroom routine, or making tacos. Sometimes I take off my glasses to put on my contacts, reset, and reach for my pill bottles while I still can't see. My long-term memory is also affected, with my husband de facto serving as the memory-holder of the family.

Another common symptom I personally experience is "time blindness", which can mean both that you have no "internal clock" that has a clear idea of the passage of time, and that our ability to properly weight the importance of things in the future is impacted. So, for example, I can know intellectually what's coming, but it takes some really complex and exhausting antics to actually focus and work on those things if they're more than a week or sometimes even a couple days away.

Without externally imposed controls, many ADHD people flounder and fail to meet social markers of success. Estimates of how many ADHD people manage to complete college range from 5% to 15%. Again: 5% to 15%! I have failed twice myself. WITH externally imposed controls, ADHD people often have to work far harder to make their brains do what is required, and either fail and develop an image of themselves as failures (usually with plenty of external help), or keep fighting and suffer crippling burnout.

To that point, ADHD is HIGHLY comorbid with a whole range of knock-on conditions, some of which stem from the same brain patterns that give rise to the ADHD itself, and others from the trauma of living with a disability, but they include very high rates of depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, social isolation, and addiction. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia my entire adult life. I have never ended up in the trap of self-medication but let's be real, that's partly about having supports and a healthy social environment. It's not some accomplishment I praise myself for, nor is addiction a sin I shame anyone for.

And anxiety has a very different texture to it when what you're really anxious about is the next time you fail in some catastrophic way. Lock your keys in the car. Completely space on a doctor's appointment. Go to pay for groceries and find that your wallet is next to your computer at home. Because the anxiety is not irrational fear of some generalized bad thing. These things do and will happen, regularly. Sometimes it feels like the only fix is getting good at recovering. Because no matter how many times you manage not to blow it, there's always another chance.

So, the struggle to be a reliable person, to be a consistent parent, to be a dependable life partner, is continuous. And it is so so so hard and it sometimes feels like you're not actually making any progress at all. I have tried therapy. I have tried three (or four??) different non-stimulant medications that sometimes help people. One of them DID help. ALL of them had catastrophic side effects. There were times as I was trialing these medications when I needed to be minded because I wasn't capable of taking care of anything, not even myself. Without Jacob, I don't know where I'd be. Not here. Probably in poverty, which is where he found me.

I have tried probably most organizational tools you know of. I have tried imposing schedules, all of which turned to dust and ash when the next fibromyalgia flareup or the next major life disruption happened. I don't think a new schedule has ever lasted a month before.

I HAVE felt like I'm made progress lately. I learned things that really helped my fibromyalgia, which gave me the space to work on other things--just like getting the borders of a puzzle finished. Enough things were spiraling upwards, and I think I might be cementing some gains. I have felt optimistic.

But in the meantime, I asked my doctor if, now that no less than three cardiologists have insisted my heart is Perfectly Healthy, I could finally try stimulant medications. After decades of use, Adderall, Ritalin, and a couple related stimulant drugs are still the gold standard for ADHD treatment and improve outcomes substantially for many people. And stimulants are in serious international shortage. Have been for many months. The only one she thought she could get me was Adderall. And she didn't dare try anything but the standard 30mg because nonstandard dosages would be even less attainable.

So now I'm taking Adderall. One week on 30mg, which I stopped when it was clear my function was being seriously impaired rather than improved. Reassessed with the doctor, now trying 60mg, because that's two of the pills I've already managed to obtain. It is....too much. And in some ways it fixes problems I wasn't working on, while so far making my executive function, my initiation or even *contemplation* of tasks, virtually nonexistant. Which was, of course, the thing I was trying to fix.

So yeah. When you have the context, I figure you can understand the substance of my frustration yourself. If you have children, I don't think you need my help to imagine what it would be like to know that you are unpredictable, or to see that your children are used to to you undergoing events that make you act strangely and erratically. I think just knowing that often, new medications introduce themselves by giving me a migraine, and I know this is possible when I take that first pill, is fairly self-explanatory. And so I expect you can imagine what it would be like, with all of this as a backdrop, to experience worsening of your symptoms, probably because of age-related hormonal changes. To in desperation try something you'd previously been denied. And to learn that it probably won't help.

In a week, I will either give up on Adderall for now or find a way to make it work. I'll put together the pieces yet again--at this point, possibly my strongest personal skill--and continue that upward climb as far as I can get. I'm incredibly fortunate in that regardless, I will be fed and dry and warm and loved. But right now, I feel justified in some serious dismay.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Fragments Pt. 1/3

Homelander / GN! Reader

Ch. 1: Fallen Angel

Summary: After a new drug rendered Homelander both powerless and amnesic, he gets saved by someone blissfully unaware of who he is.

Shoutout to @blindmagdalena who did the impossible: Making me simp for this guy. Your writing is simply impeccable! 💌

Warnings: Injury, blood, lots of exposition, not proofread

Notes: Hurt/comfort, OOC, pre-canon, Scientist! Reader, idc about logic gaps (I will cry if you point them out to me)

Four days already, and he still hasn't woken up.

Winter in the Canadian Arctic was rough, with the polar night bringing permanent darkness, as well as severe snowstorms that could last up to a week.

Luckily enough your old radio communication system was still functioning, so you were at least able to request a few necessities in advance: Food and water for another person, a doctor of course...

...and clothes for the guy you had to cut out of this ridiculous costume to patch him up properly.

Leaning back in your chair, you take some deep breaths, unable to concentrate on your work. Your glance unwillingly wanders back to the man lying on your bed, still unconscious.

Who knows how long the weather will cut you off from help arriving? You just hope he will make it until then.

Maybe it's for the better, though - since whoever had done this to him could still be out there wanting to finish the job, too.

It bordered on a miracle that he landed so close to your research station, when you were outside to notice at that. And the storm followed only shortly after you managed to pull him inside.

That man really had more luck than anything, even while having been messed up like this.

You watch him until you're sure he's still breathing and not in any discomfort, once again catching yourself admiring his handsome features.

If you didn't know any better, you'd say he was a literal fallen angel that crashed from the goddamn sky, right into your little front yard.

Damn it, the loneliness that came with this job made even your thoughts pathetic...

Well, to your defense, you've been raised pretty isolated your whole life, with parents being a doctor and a scientist that were devoted to spend their work at the most remote areas of the world.

It surely was a unique childhood with lots of traveling, and you were mostly spared the soulless corporate-controlled bullshit that was modern society. To add to that, your parents were never fond of using electronics for more than practical reasons. Not that there was internet connection where you lived either way.

All in all, while you obviously know about supes in general and might even have heard about Homelander the brief time you spent in civilization, the last time you've actually seen his face on a magazine or some sort was decades ago - and you didn't care enough to remember.

So it was no wonder that you were completely oblivious to who exactly was lying in your bed this whole time.

Sighing, you close your laptop with a dramatic gesture before making your way to the kitchen unit. You pour yourself a coffee to fill your rumbling stomach, having rationed the food in favor of your new involuntary roommate.

Having followed the footsteps of your parents - yet without proper funding - you led this mission all by yourself. At first it was bearable, since an elder native couple came to visit and assist you from time to time.

But your work demanded you to stay secluded from human intervention, deep in the mountains with the next tiny village being half a day march away. And now that winter made traveling scarce due to the dangers, the idea of some company certainly wasn't so bad.

You almost felt bad for being excited about him being here - whatever had happened to make him end up here was exactly the oppsite of great, after all.

Even though the emergency power aggregate was whirring loudly, the sound of strained groans reaches your ear - not the first time those past few days. So you immediately rush over to the man's side, pouring him a glass of water and dissolving some painkillers in it.

"It's gonna be alright" you assure him, unable to tell if he can even hear in this state. Blood is seeping through the makeshift bandages, making you realize you should probably reapply them soon. Maybe after the meds had some time to release their effect...

...however, just when the cup touched his lips, two icy blue eyes snapped open, making you wince.

"Don't touch me, fuck!" a raspy voice snapped at you, quite understandable in his situation. He pushed you away from him, causing you to stumble and fall as the glass scattered on the floor right next to you.

"Whe-where am I? And who the fuck are you?!"

"Who the fuck am I?" You felt almost offended at the accusation in his look, having to remind yourself that the person in front of you is in fact in an exceptional situation. "You're in my house. I found you injured in the middle of nowhere. So I should be asking you!"

His face fell in shock at the realization, internal struggle present in his features as he finally whispered - no, whimmered "I...can't remember..."

Racketing his brain around to make sense of the situation, he stumbled across his own words and repeated "I-I-I-I can't remember!"

"Can't remember what exactly?" You spoke more softly now as you got up, tentatively approaching him. He on the other hand jumped up from the bed, panic increasing with every passing second.

"Anything! I-I don't know who I am- shit, what happened?!" He was shaking, muscular chest having as he started to hyperventillate. You hesistantly put your hand on his back, feeling him tense at the sudden contact. "Please don't move too much. You're injured."

Only now he noticed the medical wraps around his chest, abdomen, left arm and both legs. Hell, his whole body was aching but the adrenaline wouldn't let this stop him from standing up, pacing around the small room.

Being overwhelmed with the situation as well, you decided it was best to tell him everything. "D-don't freak out, but we're in the middle of the arctic." Having a feeling that he wouldn't believe you - fair enough, though - you opened the door, revealing a snowy landscape. The doorway was already halfway buried under a snowy blanket, and the heavy winds were biting his exposed skin. "We'll have to wait until the storm settles. And even then, with your injuries you probably won't make it to the nearest village."

There was a long pause of silence between your explanation and his response, blinking at you in both disbelief and despair. "...if you don't know me, then how the hell did I get here?"

"My best guess is that you're a supe" you shrugged, hoping his memory loss didn't also affect his general knowledge. You pointed towards the torn bodysuit in the bin, stating matter-of-factly "You literally fell out of the sky. Even with the snow absorbing part of the impact, you should be dead - especially with those injuries."

Not really good at comforting someone, huh, you internally scolded yourself. Yet you gave it your best to calm him down and sign your goodwill.

"Sit down or your wounds will reopen." After a brief moment of looking at you all forlorn and maybe even a little distrustful, he accepted your help. You led him back to the edge of the bed, sitting next to each other as support for him to stay upright.

"Doesn't feel like anything about this body is 'super' right now..." he joked bitterly, rubbing his sides. You chuckle sympathetic, carefully patting his back in reassurance. "Maybe you don't have access to your powers because of the amnesia? I'm not quite sure how any of this works."

"Yeah, maybe..." His eyes were now locked on you, forcing a weak smile as he finally took a proper look at you. "You still didn't tell me to who I owe my life."

"Me?" as inappropriate as it was for the situation, he did manage to make you flustered just by that - and it didn't really help that he was still only in his underwear, testing your decency not to stare. "Oh, my name's Y/N Y/L/N. I'm an ecologist. Been here for eight months to document the effects of climate change on the biome, and-"

"Climate change?" he rose an eyebrow at you, "There's a goddamn snowstorm outside, woman."

Oh. He was one of those guys. Note taken.

"Anyways" you changed the topic to not provoke a pointless discussion, still unable to keep yourself from rolling your eyes. "Do you at least remember your name?"

The man clutched the ragged costume you had handed him, forcing his exhausted self to remember something, anything at all...

...but every time he tried, there was a sharp pain in his forehead that tore him away from the memories locked away somewhere in his brain.

And smehow, no matter how insane it might sound, he felt like this was his own mind's subtle warning to better keep it this way.

"I think...my name's John" he ultimately stated, rubbing his temples as his face contorted in pain. You continued rubbing circles on his back in an attempt to comfort him, whispering "Hey, don't overdo it. Focus on healing first, and then we'll see if anything else comes back. Alright?"

John nodded mutely, and you gifted him an uplifting smile, cheering "Well then, nice to officially meet you, John! Feel at home as long as you need."

He shook your hand almost symbolically, feeling almost hopeful knowing that despite the grim situation, he was supported by such a kind stranger.

"Nice to meet you too, Y/N. I'm all in your hands."

_____

A/N: This was written on my phone at 1am, so please bear with me. The next chapters are gonna be better.

[Part Two]

[suzukiblu]

WIP guessing game: "Robin"

Superboy has existed for about six months at best (five months, two weeks, and six days, but who's creepily spying on their fellow heroes and vigilantes? not Tim, for sure) and was created in a lab full of extremely niche genetic experiments whose creators very rarely bothered making look human, which is probably why he has some weird ideas about certain social norms.

Tim assumes that's why the guy just decided to drop a very annoyed Catwoman on him out of nowhere, anyway.

"The fuck?" he says, though through his vocoder it comes out more like the incoherent screeching of the damned. That being, well, the whole purpose of the vocoder and all. Superboy grins down at him from the nighttime sky all bright and sunny and weirdly adorable, for being a lab-grown weapon and a guy who is technically capable of disassembling Tim down to his individual atoms with, like, a touch and about two seconds' worth of thought.

Not that Tim has been creepily spying on anyone or said anyone's Cadmus files, again.

Also Superboy might not even know he can do that yet, so it's really not a smart thing to mention right now.

"Hey, man!" Superboy greets cheerfully. "She was breaking into that big museum a couple blocks over, figured you'd care about that. As opposed to, like, breaking into some rich asshole with insurance's penthouse. Figured you would not have cared about that."

"The museum also has insurance, for the record," Selina informs him sourly as she makes an art of getting off her unceremoniously roof-dumped ass while looking like being on this roof was her idea to begin with. Because, like: Selina. "And has not properly sourced the artifacts in their new Bast exhibit."

I know, that's why I was on my way to the museum to keep an eye out for you, is what Tim does not say, since Robin is supposed to be a splintered aspect of a mysterious all-knowing city spirit given human form and not just, like, a really dedicated teenager surviving on semi-legal energy drinks and conspiracy-board detective work and the occasional occult ritual to summon the Batman.

What he does do is jerkily cock his head and say, "Preyyyyy?", and let his vocoder horribly mangle the word into a sound usually best described as "unholy avian screeching". Superboy beams, which is not a normal reaction to hearing Robin's voice. Selina just rolls her eyes, but Selina of course knows about the whole "really dedicated teenager surviving on semi-legal energy drinks and conspiracy-board detective work and the occasional occult ritual to summon the Batman" thing.

Like she's never summoned the Batman for anything, geez. Or "Bruce", as an eight year-old Dick Grayson had once upon a time decided to randomly dub him. Tim still can't call the eternal and unsleeping eldritch protector of their city that without feeling like he's going to spontaneously combust, but it is in fact a thing that the Batman will answer to.

Might as well call Pennyworth "Alfie", though.

Jason was even worse at names than Dick, Tim is pretty sure.

"Yeah!" Superboy says, sounding still more cheerful and floating down the rest of the way to the roof to land lightly in front of Tim. Selina eyes him in a way that would end very badly for anyone who was not functionally invulnerable. "I mean, she seems cool and all but I dunno, figured the Bat wasn't big on Cats in his territory. And also the criming. Definitely also the criming."

"How . . . find Robin?" Tim asks. Superboy doesn't have enhanced senses, as far as he knows, so . . .

"Oh, I've been stalking you," Superboy explains. Tim blinks behind his unblinking mask and feels several ways about that statement. "That's what you Bats all do when you're interested in somebody, right? So I figured you'd like it if I did it back."

. . . Tim feels several ways about that statement.

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Dragster League ~ BC

WORD COUNT:4.4K

GENRE: Motorsport AU, established relationships, angst, moody chan taking his anger out on everyone around him, yn being there for him no matter what, cute, fluffy ending, arguments. @preciouslilmonster

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

They say one second can change your life forever and it was Chan who knew that saying better than anybody lately. One second had completely derailed his life and his career and none of it was even his fault. 

"We the jury find the defendant...." The whole of the room seemed to drown out around him as Chan focused on the jurors, some looked guilty while others smirked at one another and nodded their heads as if they were proud of their answers. 

All year long Chan's life had been put on hold for this moment and it was going to be a life changer either way. The clock on the wall seemed to tick by slower as Chan swallowed the lump in his throat awaiting the verdict that could potentially ruin him. 

Chan lay there in the hospital bed staring down at his wrist in silence, everyone in the room was drowned out as he just stared down at the cast that now covered his right hand and wrist. It was a black colour - fitting since he felt as though a part of him was dying, ever since that damn accident he couldn't shake the feeling that nothing was ever going to be the same again. 

"He'll more than likely never be able to drive again," "We don't see it being a possibility for him to get complete function in that hand again"

He'd been pretending to be asleep while the doctors spoke to his parents about his condition, although it was 26 years old it didn't change the fact that his parents were always going to be there supporting him and be his emergency contact in cases like these.

"We can recommend some physiotherapy but it might not be able to get back to 100%" The doctor explained making Chan's stomach sink to the floor, if his hand wasn't back to 100% he was never going to be able to race properly again. The judges who determined whether or not he could race would disqualify him, and replace him with someone new and someone who wasn't broken.

"I came as quickly as I could-" Your voice broke Chan out of his daze as he stared over in your direction, your outfit was dishevelled and you looked like you were sweating. You'd been running, running for him? Your keys jangled in your hand and he smiled a little, he knew those keys well. They belonged to the car the two of you had built together four summers ago when you first started dating one another and it still ran like a dream.

Mostly because you and Chan would fix anything that went wrong with it, not wanting to lose something the two of you held so close to you. But now that he thought about it, it made him feel sick he was never going to be able to make a car with you again, not with the same strength he did before. His life was over and he knew it.

"What happened?" You whispered rushing over to Chan and looking down at him, his heart picked up a little as you smoothed your hand over his cheek and placed a warm kiss on his forehead. You'd been working when you got a text telling you Chan had a small accident and you put everything down and ran out of the shop without a word to your employees. You must have broken about 16 traffic laws trying to get to the hospital but you didn't care, all you wanted to know was if Chan was alright.

"His car was faulty, he crashed-" The doctor explained calmly as if it was the most normal thing in the world but you cut him off.

"Crashed?! And I just got a text?! How?! H-How did it- How fast was he going?!" You'd been at work when you got a text letting you know your boyfriend had an accident and was in the hospital. You'd expected that he'd fallen over or something not a crash.

"I wasn't going fast, I was doing a test run on the track. I went around the corner and my brakes-" Chan tried to explain but someone cut him off,

"His brakes were fine." A man's voice cut off from the door, you glanced up to see the manager of the race track - Ryan- staring in his direction, Chan physically tensed from beside you. 

You knew he didn't like him and with good reason, not only was he the manager of the race track where most of Chan's races took place he was also the father of one of the racers Chan beat every single race. Ryan was a sleazeball and an unnerving feeling made you think he might have had something to do with it, especially with the way he was trying to gaslight Chan.

"We checked the car, nothing was wrong with it. You must have hit the wrong pedal." Ryan said as if it was the easiest thing in the world for someone to do, but when you'd been driving as long as Chan had it was damn near impossible for that to happen.

"I've been driving for 10 years, I didn't hit the wrong pedal!" He growled out, your hand squeezed his shoulder a little as you stared at Ryan something didn't feel right about any of it.

"My brakes were cut," Chan mumbled and you looked down at him, taking in the tear-stained cheeks and blood-shot eyes he was sporting. It wasn't like Chan to cry over something so you knew he must have been telling the truth about the car brakes, Chan knew when something was wrong with a car and you KNEW he wasn't one to push the wrong pedal. 

"I'll have my men look at the car-" Ryan tried to say but you weren't going to let some creep take the car and ruin any chance of finding out the truth.

"I'll do it," You shot out quickly, not wanting anyone to tamper with the evidence if what Chan was saying was true.

"Excuse me? I'd rather have a fully qualified team look into it, luckily I have those on hand." Ryan snapped out, and Chan's mother let out a low chuckle at the thought of Ryan calling you unqualified to do your job. Something you'd been doing for almost 10 years of your life now, you'd been raised to do this job.

"All due respect, Ryan. I am a fully qualified mechanic, I will look at the car with MY team." You shot him down and the man narrowed his eyes at you,

"You're a woman." You blinked at him, as did Chan's parents who seemed to wonder what significance it had to the subject. Meanwhile, Chan was smirking to himself on the bed, this was going to be the best entertainment he was going to get for a while and he was going to soak up every second of it.

"Yes, and you're a man...I'm so glad we could establish this," You scoffed sarcastically at him, reaching for your phone and already calling your Autoshop,

"But-" The phone rang as Ryan tried to come up with something he could say while you - along with everyone else inside of the room - stared him down,

"Are you trying to tell me women can't be mechanics?" You arched a brow at him and one of your workers on the other end of the phone answered but you stayed silent,

"No...But-"

"Are you trying to avoid me looking into my boyfriend's car because you have something to hide?" The other line of the phone "Ohh'd" and "Ahh'd" listening to you and you did your best to hide the smirk,

"No..."

"Then I suggest you stay out of my way and I will stay out of yours," You turned away from Ryan and began talking to your team on the other end of the phone while Chan watched you with a proud smile on his face.

After a few days of being in the hospital, Chan was finally released and let home, you were doing everything to make it accommodating for him but that didn't mean he was doing the same for you. 

Since the accident Chan had turned into a mean old man, snapping at everyone whenever they'd bring up the accident or even mention his wrist being broken. You'd managed to stay out of his line of fire...until tonight that was.

"Have you managed to look into the car yet? My brakes weren't working," He told you as you bought him some hot chicken noodle soup. He wasn't sick but you still liked to make him this meal whenever he was upset, sometimes it felt like a warm hug to you so you wanted to do everything for him.

"Not yet, Vinny and JJ are going to help me look tomorrow,"

"You should have been looking at it before now!" Chan yelled a little and your whole body went numb. In the last five years, Chan had never once raised his voice at you, not even to yell for you to bring something down from upstairs and it made your stomach churn.

"Chan-" You tried to speak but he cut you off, yelling once again,

"You've done nothing but sit around and play fucking nurse and I'm sick of it! You should be figuring out what was wrong with the damn car!" Sighing to yourself you placed the bowl of soup down onto the bedside cabinet and tried your best to stay calm with him.

You knew he was only taking his frustration out on everyone else but that didn't mean he got to do it to you.

"I've been trying to make sure my boyfriend is okay!" You argued with him, losing your cool a little but not yelling half as loud as he was.

"Try doing your fucking job first," He hissed out bitterly in your direction, staring over at the TV that was at the end of the bed where it had been since he came home playing the same reruns of his races again and again while he laid there. The doctors had been offering him physiotherapy for his wrist once the break was fixed but he was refusing everyone's help. He chooses to feel sorry for himself instead of actively trying to fix the problem or even accepting that he might need a little help with it.

"You're lucky it's only a break Chan, we can get it sorted." As soon as you said it you knew it was the wrong choice of words,

"Lucky?! You think this is fucking lucky?!" He screamed out, losing his temper as he held up the cast that was on his wrist,

"I'll never be able to race again! I'll never be able to build a car again! This isn't fucking lucky!" You flinched at the way he yelled, you knew deep down that Chan would never hurt you but you hated when people screamed. It made you feel like you were 1 inch tall and you felt sick to have your own boyfriend doing this to you.

"You could! If you just accepted that you needed help from someone for once in your goddamn life!" It was wrong to yell at him but his screaming at you had been the straw that broke the camel's back. You'd put up with a lot from him, watching him push everyone around him away or refuse to help himself when the doctors offered him it.

"Get out!" He barked out and you felt your whole body drain itself of its blood, you felt cold at the thought of him kicking you out of your shared home.

"Chan-" You pleaded, you knew you shouldn't have yelled back at him. It was never going to stop him from yelling it would only make him double down,

"Get. Out." He bit out, staring at you as he turned red in the face.

"Please...I-I just want to help you," Your voice cracked as tears welled up in your eyes threatening to spill out,

"Help me but figuring out what's wrong with the car." He grumbled as you stared at him and over at the clock at the wall. It was the middle of the night you had nowhere else to go but the shop.

"Call me when you decide to apologise, Christopher." You mumbled grabbing a coat from the back of the bedroom door and going to the wardrobe to fish some spare clothes out and shove them into an overnight bag.

Part of Chan wanted to beg you to stop packing but it was dulled down by the stubborn part of him that just wanted to push everyone away from him. He didn't want help, he didn't want to feel like a burden to you or to anyone else he wanted to be the one to fix this all on his own.

As much as he loved you and the caring side of you it only made him feel worse for you to sit there and wait on him hand and foot, to be there whenever you thought he needed you. It was the last thing he wanted and he knew he was going to have to do a lot of making up to you to make up for the way he had yelled.

It had been a week of constant calls and texts from Chan asking you to come back home, he'd even had Changbin drive him down to the shop so that he could come and see you but you refused to come out of the office when he was around. You were doing what he told you to do, trying to figure out what went wrong with the car, and you'd been strictly instructed to have no contact with him or anyone else from the race track.

"Anything new?" You glanced up at Chan who was standing in the doorway to your auto shop, you were hanging over the bonnet of the car. In his hand was a bouquet of your favourite flower and your favourite take-out in a bag. Anxiety bubbled inside of your throat as your head shot around to look for anyone suspicious that could be looking this way.

"You can't be here," You whispered moving away from the car and ushering him out of the shop. It wasn't because you wanted him to feel bad anymore if anyone saw him here and reported it everything would be thrown out of court,

"If investigators see you're here they could try and say I was swayed into taking your side, I can't discuss the case with you," The police officer that had been around that morning told you the rules pretty clearly and you weren't going to give them any reason to throw his case out.

"Case? What case?" The look of pure confusion on his face made your stomach drop and you pulled him into the storage shed you kept on site and you blew out a breath.

"You don't know?" You assumed his lawyer would have been in contact with him long before now.

"About what Yn, you're confusing me."

"That slimey little fucking weasly." You hissed out losing your cool more and more with every passing second.

"Ryan took your case to court. I assumed you knew. You need to get a lawyer and you need to get one quick." You told him as you glanced over at the crack in the door to make sure no one was listening in.,

"He what?!" Chan's heart began to pound as he thought about it. Second guessing what happened that day on the track like he'd been doing since it happened, did he hit the wrong pedal? Did he push it hard enough if it was the right pedal? 

Those questions had been swimming around in his brain for days now and it was something he could never answer unless there was footage of the inside of the car.

"He's trying to prove he had nothing to do with the accident, which only makes him look more guilty. I have four days left with the car before I hand it over to the police who then do their own tests."

"Did you find anything?" He looked down at you and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"Chan, I can't discuss it with you, they'll throw it out."

"Okay. But there's a camera inside, it usually records everything. Footwork, my face and the speedometer." You frowned a little, you'd been all over that car with a fine-toothed comb about six different times and hadn't found a single camera inside the vehicle.

"I haven't found any cameras in the car..."

"Someone tampered with it before you got it." He whispered, he knew someone had fucked with the car but it was going to be hard to tell who with the cameras being gone.

"There's a little box under the hood. It's like a plane's black box, it records everything. Every pedal pushed, every speed, it tracks everything. Records everything. It won't have footage but it'll tell you if I hit my brakes or if they failed." You'd worked on many cars in your life but motorsport cars were something completely foreign to you which was why you hadn't figured it out yet.

"Chan-" You were going to tell him it was against the rules for him to tell you any of this but he shook his head at you.

"I was never here, you got this information from someone else." He whispered to you as he put the flowers and food down on the table inside of the shed.

"I love you...Okay? They're not letting me go near you until the invitation is through," You whispered as you reached your hand over and gently touched his cheek. The court had put you up inside a nice hotel until the investigation was over, and you'd promised to stay impartial to anything you found inside the car.

"I love you too, I'm sorry I yelled." He whispered before leaning closer and kissing your lips softly, god he'd missed getting to touch you like this.

"I'm sorry about everything." You whispered but Chan stepped back and shook his head at you.

"No. Don't, YOU have nothing to apologise for. It was me, you're right. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and accept help," You nodded a little and glanced over at Vinny who was coming toward the shed.

"Vinny will take you home, keep your head down in the back of the car until you're in a safe spot." You whispered to him before quickly kissing him and darting over to Vinny explaining the situation.

Throughout the entire trial, the defendant's team had been trying to get your statements and professional opinion thrown out of the case. First, they'd tried to claim your relationship with Chan was going to make you biased but once the prosecution relayed that your findings matched with theirs that was thrown out. Then they'd tried to play the "woman" card because you couldn't possibly be able to do your job since you were only a girl.

"How long have you been working at Vinny's, Miss yln?" Chan looked at you but you'd been instructed not to look at him throughout the whole trial which was hard since you missed him. It had almost been four months with no communication with one another besides small glances during meetings or the occasional letter that Vinny passed along for you which had been meticulously read through by officers to make sure you weren't passing information about the case to each other.

"Could you please repeat the question?" You leaned forward and stared at Ryan's lawyer who appeared to be smirking to himself.

"How long have you been working at Vinny's Autoshop?" Chan bit back a smirk as he hid his mouth in his hand and looked down at the paper in front of him.

"I think the correct question to that would be, how long has Vinny been working for me? Sir," You stared at him as he appeared taken back. You weren't about to sit here and let someone else take credit for your own auto shop, something you'd been working from the ground up since you were nineteen years old.

"I own Vinny's Autoshop. Vinny's sounded better than "Yns" Autoshop." You told them plainly making a few of the jurors laugh at the fact that the defendant team got something very wrong.

"How is it, that a woman of your nature could run an auto repair shop?" Mr Can was starting to rub you the wrong way but you weren't about to let him get to you.

"Objection," Chan's lawyer yelled out, staring at the judge who seemed to be tired of this case, after all, it had been going on for almost two weeks now.

"Mr Cane, relevancy to the case?" The judge questioned, staring at the lawyer who shrugged his shoulders,

"Trying to determine how she could run a place and look too good. I mean, her hair and nails are done up, she doesn't appear as though she could work in such a tense environment dominated by men."

"Proceed." The judge watched as you looked at Mr Cane and smiled sweetly, if you had it your way you'd have ended him harshly days ago when he tried to dismiss you.

"Mr Cane. If you believe a girl can't look good while working in a "tense" environment then how do you explain women who are lawyers?" You countered his statement but he didn't appear taken back by it,

"What do you do? Make them coffee while they do all the work in the shop?" He chuckled making your blood boil. You were told to appear calm on the stand but that didn't mean that you were going to be able to.

"No, but I could tell you how to do a tune-up, oil change, brake relining, engine rebuilds and I could even instruct you how to make a car with scrap parts." You stared at him as he stared at you in silence, blinking a little.

"But is it true you aren't an expert on motorsport cars?" The air turned thick and you stared at him. After Chan's visit to you, you'd done every single bit of research that the world had to offer on the cars.

"Yes, that's true." You glanced over at Chan's lawyer who smirked and nodded at you. You had them right where you wanted them now and you were able to bring out the hidden gem you'd been storing away, 

"But I am fully qualified enough to be able to find the black box that has all of the recorded data on it from the car in question." Instantly the court began to gasp out and murmur to one another as Mr Cane wandered back over to Ryan who appeared to be looking more nervous as time went by.

"Order!" The judge boomed out as he stared around the room, glancing at you and back over to Mr Cane who was shaking his head.

"The court will take a quick recess. Mr Cane, I suggest you figure out another line of questioning." He grumbled before leaving the courtroom. 

"We the jury find the defendant...." The whole of the room seemed to drown out around him as Chan focused on the jurors, some looked guilty while others smirked at one another and nodded their heads as if they were proud of their answers. You looked over at Chan and smiled weakly, you knew he was putting everything he had into this being a guilty verdict and you'd prayed for the best outcome for him. 

"Guilty. Guilty on one account of tampering with the brakes. Guilty on one account of removing the cameras from the vehicle and guilty of inflicting grievous bodily harm because of tampered vehicle." The court screamed out and you ran over to Chan throwing your arms around him,

"You did it, baby!" You screamed, kissing him all over his face and he let out a small chuckle.

"We did it," He whispered before kissing you deeply, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck as you pulled him closer to you. Moulding together perfectly as you made out heavily in the court room and Ryan was taken away in cuffs.

It had been a constant battle inside of Chan when he was in physiotherapy, everything inside of him told him to quit but if he had he wouldn't be here right now and on top of the winning podium accepting a trophy.

"I wanted to do a quick speech, to my friends, my family and just everyone who supported me throughout the whole trial." He spoke into the microphone as you watched him from the sidelines.

"None of this would have been possible if it wasn't for my future wife pushing me," You stared at him, your whole body burning as he called you his future wife when the two of you weren't engaged...yet. 

"If it wasn't for Yn pushing for me to go past what I thought I was capable of I never would have gone through therapy for my hand and I never would have won this race." He breathed out heavily as he opened his arms for you to come onto the stage and you slowly walked over you him and into his waiting arms. Whining a little as you realised just how many people were watching from the race course and at home,

"I love you and without you, I wouldn't be here," He told you - and the rest of the world that was watching live on TV.

"I wanna spend the rest of my life with you and with racing but with a twist." He told you before turning back to the cameras,

"As of today this is my last race and I'm retiring."

"But your hand is back to 100%" You reminded him but he turned and smirked at you, it was true his hand was better than ever but it didn't mean he was going to race forever.

"I want to pass the racing torch to someone else while I focus on my future with Yn. But I'll still be here, we...will be," He smirked before a curtain dropped behind the stage and people began screaming and cheering wildly.

The track - previously known as Delmar Racing - was changed to "The Dragster League" making you giggle a little. The dragster was what you and Chan had named your car.

"Channie," You whined out before he kissed you deeply, erupting cheers around you, all of it fading into the background as you continued to kiss the love of your life.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ok so this might be a long rant, I just came across this account, after a lovely woman i follow on TT. She said in her live that a blog she likes one tumblr account, so I had a wee nosy. Well after watching Tifs live (our captain) the other night, my gut feeling about this whole situation with L, N and A:

I only started to ship L&N late April this year. I just was excited to see polin for their season after reading the book. Then I seen N and L interviews and saw their chemistry & connection I was hooked. I don’t ship people irl but I did always like Tom and Zendaya, I thought they would be cute together but nothing hardcore. Then L& N came into my life and now I can’t function properly without thinking about these two. I like the whole world has seen this two people that have captured our hearts, with their crazy chemistry. Which made a lot fans go crazy thinking they were a real couple and still want them to be.

As I said I newly lukola fan but after watching Tifs live and reading the info she had, also looking at other content and speaking to other fans. I believe my gut feeling is right, ( just my opinion) don’t come from me lol. 1: I believe L fell for N that first day they met at the dance rehearsal. I mean for someone who doesn’t have good memory, he remember everything that day. Like you said I believe he pushed those feelings down as he was in newly relationship. Also N was in a relationship, it wasn’t their time. They were great friends, laughed, joked and even flirted irl or SM but never crossed that boundary.

2: I believe the chemistry we were seeing in season 1 and 2 was them giving each other subtle hits, that they will have to finally give into repressed feelings once they become leads. L was still in a longtime relationship with his gf but N wasn’t in hers anymore, so she was having single girl era. Then bang they are told they are the leads the next season. Both gear up for it by L getting fit, healthy and trim down. N also got fit, healthy and went to the gym. They both threw everything into making this the best season(which I believe they did). Then started to film season3 when they can’t hide their feelings anymore. The gf caught on to this and that when things started to turn sour for L and gf, she got jealous and insecure about his feelings. She started getting hate from fans. Once she started doing shady things like copy N style and comment (WFT on camera) when the episode 2 season 2, when Colin’s comes back from his trip and sees Pen for the first time. Then J and L unliked N posts and didn’t interact with her as much. Also around that time N came out to defend J and stop the hate. (If I couldn’t love this woman anymore than I do. She is a incredible, kind and loyal friend to have in your life). Around this time L was on down low liking posts N friends posted about her, knowing that J wasn’t following them on SM to see. 3: As I said when season3 began all those feelings they both had came out and they couldn’t hide it anymore. You can see it by the reactions of the cast and crew saw, they slowly were letting us know that it was real what we saw and felt. I mean the fact that he wasn’t able to see her in certain dresses until the last minute to get his real reaction or that the director took all the dancers off the set, to only have N&S dance in front of L to get that pure jealousy and anger from him. (BTW that nearly broke that man) haha which I love, I know am evil 😏. Or the fact that N had a fake hen party with cast and crew. Do not get me started on the ‘sound proof’ carriage or the broken furniture. Around those scenes were being filmed the shit was hitting the fan with L&J, they believed to be broken up around the time of the mirror scene. We all know how relaxed they were with each other in those days, as N said “we were so relaxed, we spent the day under the covers naked not wanting to get up”. I mean come you two 🙈 So L was coming home after doing those intimate scenes and couldn’t detached from it. So it is believed around this time J cheated on L with a co star, of course this is all rumoured but Ls mum, aunt and grandma liked a lot of lukolas posts. That scene when he finds out about pen being LW, he was really crying and even catch’s on his words, it also makes N say his name because she can’t see him hurting. So that’s why she help him to heal after the break up, she wanted him not in pain anymore. That’s when everything changed.

4: N and L friendship grows stronger and stronger around part two they both were single and they give into their feelings. So when you watch the ally scene when he finds her out on the night before their wedding and they argue he push’s her up against the door. L uses his left hand to lift up her skirt, Colin is right handed but L is left handed. Also if you listen to that scene without the music, you can hear him saying N name. The last scene they filmed together was their last intimate scene and she slips the tongue in while he sucks on it. He also came to her last day of filming to support her AKA the pic of him seating on the floor while she hugging him 🫠So I believe that they both hooked up around this time and even went on secret dates. He was all in and was ready to go into the relationship with her. This is when it hits her, he needs to be single, she was going to be busy, he starting his new play… they had to put the breaks on it for awhile. That’s why she always says “what is meant for you, won’t pass you by”, something my mum says to me every day. N knows she be called to other women, that she is older, that her image would be damaged if they came out as a couple around that time. Because he loves her so much he couldn’t do that to her, so he agrees even though it is killing him. That’s when A appears. 5: He goes on to have his HBS with the lads and the rat 🐀 (Rory) I said what I said. He has fun and then meets A, she fun and exciting, just someone to have fun with, who also fits in his friends group. They date have fun, go on double dates, parties and events. They never put a label on it but she his gf in not so many words. Then they begin their six month press tour and all that pent up feelings come back out again. They were unhinged, flirty and their chemistry was through the roof. They couldn’t stop it if they tried. They have understanding like last year they couldn’t go public if they wanted to because of the image wouldn’t be right. That’s when A jealous streak came out, by slowly letting the fans know she was about and don’t get any ideas. She post videos of her of dancing in hotels were L was staying. That’s when she started to troll the fans and N too. I think the final nail that hit the coffin was the Ireland trip. We got the famous fixing the hair in middle of an interview(let’s be real L went to another world, he lean in and closed his eyes never wanting to open them up again). We also got him meeting her mum and went out with her family. A could see he was pulling back from her that’s why she invited herself to the NY premier were we got the awkward hug from A&N. So that’s why she called the paps and messed up the situation with L&N. I like a lot of people felt that pap walk was a slap to all our faces. I believe like you said she went rogue. All she had to do was wait a week and it wouldn’t have been as bad. The fandom would have been mad but would got over it. However she stole that limelight and you could see he annoyed by the pics. So HBS 2 happens, N starts working on her her new film. L has events, parties and holidays with A and the friend group. However he found ways to mention N in every interview or posts and she tells him in some ways that he is always with her by the pics she posts too. Like he said on JF they are on a break. Now they waiting for things to calm down and distance himself from A. But she doesn’t like and has now joined together with rat boy and his gf. They are trolling fans, N, leaking pics and videos of L when he just wants to be private. I also believe he has totally checked out with this relationship. You can see it in her eyes and body language, it doesn’t lie, he’s not happy. I also think his losing work opportunities with this bad pr at the minute. Unlike N who is booked and busy.

So to conclude this rant sorry btw I just had to get this all out of my head 🙈 it was doing my head in. I believe once season 4 begins and L&N have to be a married couple. They go back to their funny, flirty and unhinged. I then believe A bags will be packed because he will do all he can to protect N and her image. He also try to get new jobs as well. Were A might be on the next season of love island. I really hope not because I seen enough of that drama queen and I like to enjoy the show. I think next year we might get the confirmation of them both being an official couple. That’s when I be cracking up the Prosecco and champagne 🍾 😊🚢

No matter how many times I read things like this I always act surprised at every turn lmao

Love this anon, thx for sharing

[rewh0re]

─JULY RAINS ; NAGI SEISHIRO

-fluff fluff FLUFF, nagi realising he might have a lil crush, just nagi falling for you. REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!!

Nagi was not the resident lover boy. Everyone knew that, he made sure of it. He garnered interest in a few things, video games and football being some examples. The latter, if not for his best friend Reo introducing it to him, maybe wouldn't even have made it in the list. Nagi found most of the things to be a hassle. It was a hassle to get up in the morning, a hassle to brush his teeth, a hassle to get ready and come to school and get through the day. The biggest hassle of all was falling in love and high school relationships. Nagi didn't really get the logic behind all that jazz but he did get confessions in the form of little notes and homemade chocolates. He hated it, all he wanted to do was ignore them and sleep and that's what he did.

But then Nagi met you. Standing under the shelter provided by the bus stop in the pouring rain, a wet umbrella in your hands. He ran there to take shelter from the rain as well and in the process got wet. Swatting away the water from his hair, he felt your eyes on him.

"This is why you should carry an umbrella," you said, nodding your head at him. You were clearly joking as there was a little mischievous smile on your lips.

"It's a hassle to pack an umbrella," he said looking straight, voice as flat as ever.

"It’s a hassle to pack an umbrella?" Your head rolled back in laughter as you repeated his words in a question. Your reaction achieved a pout from Nagi and you thought he looked absolutely adorable in all his puffed out cheek glory.

"My bag becomes too heavy," his explanation was dry, not providing much information.

You smiled in reply, not really understanding this strange boy who found carrying an umbrella during the rainy seasons a hassle. You let it be, deciding that it wasn't really your concern.

"You go to my school?" He looked at the uniform you were wearing and then at his as if to check if they were the same. They were.

"Yes Nagi Seishiro I do go to your school," you chuckled in amusement before continuing "we shared a class last year. I won't blame you for forgetting though. You mostly slept and I never actively socialized with any of my classmates."

"I'm sorry," he rubbed the back of his neck, as embarrassment slowly took over him. A pink hue slowly creeped up his ears. You went to his school, were in the same year as him infact and he didn't even know you existed before this.

You laughed again. You laugh a lot, he noticed.

"No, don't be. I wouldn't have remembered either if you hadn't confidently said the definition of socialism when the question was about the functions of the kidney and still topped the class anyway," you grinned at him and he muttered curses at himself as the probably unwanted memory creeped its way up to the top.

"I'm l/n y/n by the way. You know, a formal introduction since we never really met properly," you stretched your hands towards him.

"Nagi Seishiro but you know that already," he took your hand and shook it gently.

Sitting at a bench provided by the bus stop together, you did not realize when the rain had stopped, the gray clouds slowly drifting by to reveal a clear sky. Nagi told you about his cactus, choki and about how Reo dragged him into football. You learnt that most things were actually a hassle for Nagi and when he said that, you laughed again.

Nagi felt a sense of pride wash over him as he made you laugh. He realized that you actually cracked very lame jokes but he found himself breaking into a small smile when you shared them anyway. It was a jolly scenario. Something in Nagi's heart bloomed when you smiled, beating a bit faster than usual.

Nagi was not your resident lover boy and in all honesty, he never wanted to be but seeing your exuberant personality made something in him glow. He found people to be a hassle, but you, with all your energy, didn't count as one, even if you officially met that day itself. Nagi didn't want to admit it was a crush just yet, he was willing to wait but when your bus came in sight, some sort of dejection took over him.

"Well that's me!" You got up from your seat waving at him as you made your way to the bus.

Just as you were about to get on the vehicle, you turned over your shoulder to look at the white haired male, who's gaze widened at the action.

"Hey Nagi, talk to me in school, yea? I'll be waiting!" You gave him a grin that stretched from ear to ear before getting up on the bus as it soon disappeared out of sight.

Your beaming smile was etched inside Nagi's mind as it sent some kind of fluttering sensation inside him. It wasn't long before he found himself smiling like an idiot while sitting on a bench in the bus stop thinking about you. He got up, his smile still intact, as he began walking towards the metro station.

"Fuck."

That was all Nagi Seishiro could think on a rainy July evening after you left, making a mental note to definitely approach you in school.

[techramonic]

Anger is Humanity: An Analysis on Andre Kriegman

Disclaimer: This analysis is limited only to commentary and analysis as a means to reflect and understand the characters and the internal and external factors that affect their decisions and actions, this is true rationality. Just like all of my posts, I am detached from the media I write about and solely focus on the characters to understand their backgrounds and psychology, for others to gain insight. There is no room for me to romanticize anything I write because I am only here to explain in my understanding. Thank you.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

There are five stages of grief—yet some find themselves perpetually stuck and fixated on the second. It is a never-ending loop due to the fear of experiencing discomfort once the light is found; it is the fear of change, the bargaining of reality, the depression in the recurrence, and the acceptance that misfortune runs in your veins. One is not born with misfortune but rather handed with it.

THE SUPEREGO. A concept based on the Freudian principles of psychoanalysis, which generally develops through the internalization of values and norms given by primary groups (family and society). If members of these groups are either overly strict and abusive or lacking guidance, poor superego is molded. The superego controls the id's basic desires by using the ego, relying on internalized moral ideals. If the superego is underdeveloped, then there is an impairment in moral reasoning and the ability to distinguish what is morally just and unjust.  Furthermore, factors such as abusive environments also play a role in hindering normal superego development. Negative consequences are also brought by exposure to violence or alienation.

With this, we view Andre Kriegman in a new light. 

His behavior might be the result of an imbalance where his id's destructive desires aren't properly controlled by a strong superego. Freud has also noted various defense mechanisms the ego uses to handle conflicts between the id, superego, and external reality. If Andre's superego isn't functioning well, he might depend on unhealthy defense mechanisms like projection and blaming others for his indecent thoughts or rationalization by justifying his harmful behavior with logical reasoning.

Anger does not come from evil, but it comes from the mistreatment you receive.

It is the pain inflicted on you, the misfortune that leads you to believe that there is no possibility of ever finding the room to grow and move on. The reason why Andre is so fixated on hatred and anger is that it is a defense mechanism born out of the tragic reality that he has been and is hurt. It is the trauma response that begs to cling on you because you fear that in change, more misfortune will arise.

Anger—that is Andre Kriegman. In a world where you have constantly been alienated, you feel less human. You are not perceived, therefore, you do not exist. You are stripped away from whatever humanity you have, because to be a human, you must exist. You are a mere entity, an omnipresent being that is everywhere yet nowhere, all at once. Forced to watch a crowd interact, fearing and knowing you are so easy to be disregarded. You try to imitate them when interacting to be deemed more human, yet alas, all subside suddenly when you are deemed as a deviant. You are isolated, believed to be nothing, and therefore, gone. 

Anger sprouts from injustice. This is the rationality in anger—even how disproportionate it feels, like how Andre feels his anger. It is rooted in the lack of good treatment. The hate you feel is disproportionate as if your body begs to regurgitate all the hate you have and project it to anyone else—your family, your peers, and even yourself. You have this strong want to let others feel the pain you feel and bear, simply because this is the part of you that yearns and begs to be seen. To be understood, to be empathized with, to feel human, to be human.

To be treated as you should've been treated—well.

Anger is human. It is a part of humanity itself. Yet, as true as it can be, you can never heal with the same thing that caused it. Pain does not heal pain and anger does not heal anger, that is reality.

Andre Kriegman is anger, he is a reflection of humanity itself and the humanity he was shown. Humanity is anger.

[whimsical-lullaby]

Hi! So nice to see another person who writes for Shogun on here.

Anyways, I was wondering if I could get a Yoshii Toranaga x fem reader please? I don't know what all you write in the story, but I know it will be good. Thanks! And take all the time you need, I am in no rush.

Shrivelled Blossoms

You were always a strong person who knew what to say and when to say something in the right moment. And when to keep silent and re-evaluate words and tones that needed to be input in a conversation, whether serious or not. So, what happened today? You just... froze. A word you're so sure isn't even in your vocabulary.

Your friends warned that this would be a serious case to handle and you prepared for it every possible way you could. And when it came, you tackled it in every direction.

'It's not cheese and sprinkles, being a lawyer.' Your father would say. This field of work was hard but you weren't about to lie to yourself, that it didn't build you up as a person.

Entering the train, you took a seat and then texted your friends, telling them you were on the subway. Honestly, it was a miracle you even made it this far! What with the many shots of saké you shared with your friends, that you yourself couldn't remember the exact number.

Your childhood friends who still lived in Osaka texted you after work, when you were curled up on your couch and in your Disney pajamas, contemplating whether to do a Disney marathon starting with Pirates of the Caribbean or just continue binging the last episode of Demon Slayer. They invited you to a girls' night out to cheer you up and you were too nice to decline as much as you were anticipating the latter.

Plus, you thought that it would be nice to catch up after some time you three were caught up in your hectic careers.

Now you wanted nothing more than to plop on your bed and let the drowsiness take you to a peaceful slumber. The hangover can be dealt with once you wake up.

But still, thoughts of the court case resurfaced once more. It's to be expected, as you were an over-achiever ever since you could remember.

It wasn't so much as failing the case and bringing failure to your family name... Well, just a tad bit on that part. But the rest, you wanted to fight for someone so passionately and effortlessly. The dejected look your client gave you made you want to shrivel up and find a place to hide and never come out. But time waits for no one and this wasn't the last case you had. However, you viewed it as your big break.

What a waste, you thought as you contemplated appealing. However that thought was soon demolished by the fear of making a fool of your client and yourself so you just let it rest.

You were so caught up in your internal conflict that you didn't hear the intercom announcement. When you lifted your head up, you realized every passenger was gone and the train was moving once more. Shit.

Clicking your phone open, you immediately went to the phone tracker app only to stare dumbfounded at the moving point from your stop. "Shit, shit, shit, shit!"

You stood up hastily and turned your head to the right. Was it even possible to get ahold of the conductor? You didn't know but you would try. As you took your first steps, the lights flickered just for a millisecond and it went on once more.

A part of you furiously fought off the whispers in your ears of the urban legends of riding a train at night. You weren't big on scary stuff but you grew up mostly with your grandparents so you were a tad bit superstitious.

Gulping hard, you beelined for the front door, hoping that no ghosts or spirits will claim your soul. The train is probably old, it might need a few things checked up. That's why the lights are flickering, your voice of reason was there to calm you down as usual. It's nothing!

Those movies are unrealistic! How could the character's brains function properly when they are stuck in unsettling situation while you are struggling to open a damn door? Despite your voice of reason, your mind kept traversing back to those camp stories and deep down, you thought that a spirit of a bear would maul you. Why the fuck would a bear be doing in a subway station? You're not thinking clearly!

At some point, you managed to pry the sliding door open and enter the pilot's compartment. The air was knocked out of your lungs as the train violently shook from side to side but you managed to grab onto something to stable you. What the fuck is going on?

Losing balance, you fell to the floor and a dull thud filled your ears before it was replaced by a white noise that viscously stung.

The last thing your blackening vision saw was red liquid pooling on the metal floors of the subway train.

...

Furrowing your eyebrows, you blinked your disoriented eyes open, trying to adjust to the light seeping through the room. Room?

Examining the room you were in, you spotted no doors. Only three mahogany wooden doors and a traditional screen door.

You shut your eyes, trying not to panic. Trying to remember how you got here. Your head feels foggy, temples throbbing as you sort through vague memories.

The court case. Night out with friends, few shots of saké, maybe more since you didn't remember the number. The subway. Missing your stop. The light's flickering on and off. The earthquake.

And then ... nothing.

You can't remember.

Your eyes fly open and you take comfort in the feeling of being fully clothed. But it's not your clothes. Glancing down at the unfamiliar outfit. A simple teal kosode. It felt comfortable ... but it still unsettled you - the fact that someone could have undressed you. You hoped and prayed it was a woman, at the very least.

As you sat up, shutting your eyes as you listened to the ache in your head. Opening them once more, observing your new surroundings.

It looked to be one of those traditional homes. There were no windows. Light passed through the paper of the shoji screen. It kind of reminded you of that traditional Airbnb you stayed in for a night with your mom. There were no modern appliances like air-conditioning or heaters. It looked plain.

Your eyes found your sneakers, next to your neatly folded clothes. But your handbag was no where to be seen. I've been robbed, was your first thought and then pieced together the puzzle. And you concluded you were kidnapped and they confiscated your handbag.

Your heart leaps into your throat as it becomes clear that you need to get the hell out of here.

Wobbling as you slowly got up, your bare feet brushed along the tatami  mat, taking your clothes and sneakers in your hands, ambling your way towards the shoji screen. You dropped your shoes and pulled the sliding door to the left and you were met with shocked brown eyes staring back at you.

"Miss, you shouldn't be up and about with your injury!" The young woman gasped.

"Who are you and where am I?" Your hoarse voice croaked and felt scorching in your throat due to screaming for dear life in the train.

"I am Lady Toda Mariko," she introduce and from the corner of your eye, you saw two women shuffling in the room. One carried a bowel of water and a towel, the other carried what looked to be a neatly folded kosode. "I am instructed to bring you to My Lord once you regain consciousness."

"Your Lord?" You echoed and your eyes widen. "Jesus Christ? Am .. Am I in heaven?"

Lady Mariko blinked momentarily before laughing softly. "No, I assure you, you are very much alive. And seem to be doing well than yesterday. You are in Ajiro village and I've been instructed to bring you to My Lord, Toranaga-sama."

....

You had been out of place.

Exotic, is one word Toranaga could describe you and quite frankly the only word he could find in his mind after last night's events. His brother had betrayed him, his brash son drove himself to his death trying to avoid an already fixed fate. And just a few feet way from Nagakado's lifeless body was you.

An unconscious young woman, half drowning in a pond filling up with crimson blood. Sustaining an injury to your head that he requested should be treated by a skilled healer.

Hiromatsu thought you were an assassin or a spy who was caught up in the wrong place and time. Why else were you there? You were just so out of place. Upon closer inspection, you were anything but.

They confiscated your bag and searched for any weapon you might be concealing but found.. strange, peculiar things instead. Yet nothing threatening.

Scrutinizing you now in a different light, his thoughts were concluded.

Silence.

That was Toranaga's tactic. He waited to see who would speak first. And judging by how your eyes travelled everywhere in the room, unable to meet his. You were shifty, and you needed to fill the silence quickly.

Very simple, that's what you were. But definitely non-threatening. Unless your true self was hidden well behind a facade. Now that was a different story and he would soon find out.

You did not know how many centimeters your forehead was to the floor, or how many degrees you were bowing. Once you were presentable as so Lady Mariko deemed you to be, you were led to a relatively spacious room by two men in samurai haircuts and made to kneel before this person she had referred to him as her Lord, Yoshii Toranaga.

Behind Toranaga was a Tokoma which displayed an impressive samurai armer and a part of you thought the production crew really had the budget to pull off even the smallest detail.

"Hello-"

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Me? My name is Y/N." You answered. Silence dragged on again and it became unbearable so you filled it. "Is this a movie set?"

"A what?"

"I was just assuming... where are you hiding the cameras?" The two men shared a glance and you were starting to get annoyed that they were beating around the bush.

You desperately wanted an ibuprofen to sooth your headache and call a doctor to check if you didn't sustain any brain injury. Yes, you were grateful for their assistance whilst you were unconscious but you wanted nothing more than to go home.

"Look. There's been a huge misunderstanding here." You say, the tension reverberates in your throat as the words came out in a petty croak.

"Where are you from?" Toranaga asks.

"I am from Tokyo."

The lord hesitated, not knowing of a place by the name of Tokyo but ventured on. "And tell me. What were you doing in the middle of last night's squabble?" You blinked at his question, not knowing what to say.

"You mean the train incident?" You trekked, not sure to what he was alluding. "I was distracted and missed my stop so the train continued on it's journey."

"What are you saying?" It was the man on the other end of the room who spoke. Lady Mariko told you he was Toranaga's right-hand man, Hiromatsu. "Speak plainly."

Breathing out through your nose, you collected yourself. Opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by the old man. "Are you an assassin sent by Ishidō?" He accuses.

"No."

"A spy?"

Your eyes bulged at the mere thought of doing that. "Jesus Christ. No!"

"Then explain this weapon." Toranaga placed your phone in front of him. "One of my Koshō took it from your bag and it's light burned his eyes."

Mouth agape, you couldn't fandom the craziness of this situation. What hell did I step into? You wondered inwardly.

"That's because he turned it on. Don't you know what a phone is?"

Toranaga and Hiromatsu stared at you as if you had grown two heads. You hated that it made you look stupid, in front of these serious-looking men. It reminded you of your years in college and some classmates never thought you would make it as a lawyer because you were too sensitive.

Seeing this was going no where, you played along with their game. Method actors, you reasoned with yourself. Perhaps you are in a movie set, set in feudal Japan ... based on their clothing and the extraordinary built set.

Surprisingly, they came to a conclusion and believed you. Toranaga allowed a roof over your head as a guest in his Edo castle until he figured out what he should do with you. You felt like a burden to him and you hated that.

Adjusting for you wasn't so much of a problem. You had a great teacher. Lady Mariko was very patient with you and explained everything you needed to know, that coupled with you were a fast learner, took you farther.

However, in some places you felt restricted. Like the many layers you had to carry when you wear your kimono, or the way you had to shuffle your feet all the time when you walked. Sometimes when you made sure no one was around you, you walked the normal way you did. Screw grace and elegance .. at certain times, that is.

Thankfully you would be going home pretty soon. Toranaga and his entourage were marching to Edo, present day Tokyo.

The lord's brows furrowed as he silently watched you raise your arm in different directions, clutching your magic box in your palm. Muttering something about 'no reception' in a groan.

You were a strange thing. But tolerable.

Upon arriving in Edo, you stopped on your tracks, no longer trailing behind the foot soldiers. He wondered what shocked you...

Continuing to observe your body language, you were now keeping to yourself as your eyes scanned the still thriving city of Edo.

A few days went by as Nagakado's funeral arrived all too quickly and he was staying within the walls of his castle, intent on having time to himself to process these emotions on his own. From afar, he gazed at the smoke drawing up to the sky - the fire that would turn his son's remains into ashes. He needed to distract his thoughts before grief took over. Weakness was never an option.

However, he's mind kept coming back to you. The lord noticed he rarely saw you. He began taking note of your routine. On most occasions, you spent your time in the gardens or by the pond. One time he caught you drawing something on the sand, and the gardener fumed at his ruined work.

Upon inquiry, you told him you drew what you explained as a stickman in an aeroplane, flying back to his home. You missed home ... yet you said Edo was your home. That confused him tremendously.

Requesting a maidservant to invite you to dine with him. Toranaga raised his brows upon receiving the response. "My Lord, she declined your invitation."

Nodding, the maid took her departure. Letting out a breath, he humbly sought you out.

The maids were flocking around you with towels in their hands, lecturing your ear off but you heard nothing. You weren't thinking straight as you sat under the rain. Perhaps a part of you was trying to reach God somehow by asking to end this dreadful nightmare. Reality hit you like a bus, the days were moving and you slowly came into realization that you were stuck, in the past.

Thoughts about your parents and family invaded Would they miss you too much? Would they think you were dead if they searched high and low and couldn't find your body? You began to recalling your grandmother's funeral .. all those sorrowful faces looking up at you, voices giving you and your family condolences. Would that be the same for you as well?

You were unable fathom why .. why this happened to you?

Was this to be your reality?

Drowning in your depressive thoughts, you hadn't noticed Lord Toranaga enter the threshold of your room, requesting the maids to leave you both.

Advancing towards you, he stood in front of you with furrowed brows confusion. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not going home, am I?" My bottom lip trembled as your heart swelled, feeling tears fill up your eyes.

Feeling a warm finger under your chin, he brought your eyes to meet his. A warm smile settled on his lips. "I do not know how or what brought you here, Y/N. But everyone has a fate, perhaps being here is your fate."

You blinked away the tears, sniffling lightly. "But..but why?" Hot tears fell down your cheeks. "My life was just beginning, I was starting to make my parents proud of me, I was starting to find my footing in my career... There is nothing for me here."

As much as you wanted to appear strong all the time, you broke down. Everything you've ever worked hard for is gone and now you were forced to start life anew, in a time not of your own, with new people.

When she sobbed, Toranaga's body went froze, not knowing what to do. He wasn't accustomed to a woman crying in front of him, most woman he knew had learned to stiffen their lips and march on with their pain carefully hidden away.

Hesitantly, he brought you in an embrace, shocking himself as well. But was relieved as you didn't pull away, deciding to lay your head on his chest.

Not knowing how to comfort her any further, he decided to just listen. Inviting her to dine with him in his private quarters and just listened to how she grew up in the year 21st century.

Toranaga had found you infuriating at first.

You were a disagreeable woman with a sharp tongue and quick-witted mind. And he almost lost his words around you. Almost, being the key word. Brazen, just like his son and everyone else in his circle, you wanted him to fight.

He didn't know if you were stupid or too bold for your own good. Such matters needed to be handled tactically, that's what he told you one night as you dined together, getting to know you better. In hope of steering your mind away from the conversation.

And then you told him of your position as a lawyer.

Toranaga appreciate your willingness to fight for people you personally did not know, whom you addressed as 'clients'. He liked your spirit of having to give someone else a voice to speak their thoughts aloud, maybe that's what made you so fearless.

Daresay he wanted to believe you. That you came from the distant future. A world so extraordinary with tall buildings that reached for the heavens, flying steel dragons that flew across the sky from one country the other, horseless carriages that cruised through the streets. Such a world was out of his imagination.

That was when you showed him your rectangle magic box that glows brilliantly with a switch of a button, which stored countless moments in time called 'pictures'.

It stored pictures of you and the people closest to you in life. Places you've been to, your achievements. Every picture had a story. Most them were of you goofing around and you giggled at those, showing him a part of your character, a carefree soul. That was when he started believing you. This truth was solidified after he asked and you told him of growing up in a unified Japan. Toranaga gleamed softly. For he too wished to live in that reality with no wars, losses and betrayals.

Your reality seemed like a tranquil heaven he wished to bask and his heart shattered when he saw that look in your eyes when you finish telling him of your home. It was like a tide going out and it went out slowly... how he desperately wanted he could stop it surprised him.

You told him of how Japan was so beautifully broken. Your words were like a melodic poem to his ears. Narrating of the cycles earthquakes and hurricanes that destroy homes, the losses. Yet everytime, there still is that slight strength to keep standing up defiantly, rebuilding what was once broken. "That's what makes Japan unique," you told him.

That was something you both agreed on.

Daresay, he found himself distracted by you at times. Him of all people, distracted by a woman, no less. That was unheard of. Such feelings were hazardous ... but he was audacious enough to act on them one morning he made up his mind.

Toranaga found you standing on the engawa, overlooking the serenely pitter pattering rain.

It was like you sensed his presence because your body never stiffened this time when you both crossed each other. You were relaxed and just like at last night's dinner, you were free to speak your thoughts without hesitation.

"I've given myself time to think about it, what you said." A sigh escaped your slightly parted lips and they settled in a serene thin line which was half a smile. "It's not so bad when you get used to it."

Honestly, you began to think this whole thing was a vacation. A long needed vacation - you would adjust. Maybe you're starting to, maybe it'll take some time.

Peering up at the Lord, you saw what you could make out as a soft smile. It wasn't all the way to his eyes - perhaps one day you would have the pleasure to see that miracle. "I have given myself time to think, as well." He shifted to observe the garden and his brows furrowed in the slightest, as if contemplating his words. "I want you by my side."

"As what?" You quarried. "If you want to know the details of what happens in Japan's history, I don't know Jack shit, I'm sorry."

Toranaga chuckles. "Fate has many things fixed for us as a people. The heavens would have sent you anywhere in Japan but they brought you to my path ... And I'd be honored to have you by my side."

It was a lie. You knew exactly what happens in Japan's history. What kind of person does not know their country's history? You always stood by the law. The laws of physics, the laws of science, the natural law. It wouldn't hurt to break the laws of time travel, would it?

If these feelings were true and they ran deeper than what you ancipated ... you would help him win this war, so that you sustain the head on your shoulders and stay by his side.

Giving him a brilliant smile to his earnest words, you reply. "I'd be honored to be by your side, too."

There were many preparations Toranaga needed to settle for the next days to come, and today he would go to his son's final place. And thank him. Both he and his trusted friend, Hiromatsu.

And then ... Crimson Sky would commence.

But for now, he drank delight in this peaceful reprieve, observing the nostalgic drizzle of the rain with you by his side.

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

Slider has always known, Slider has eyes and a functioning enough brain to realize that Ice is completely obsessed with Maverick, Slider knows things, he’s the guy that’s always there

The first time they properly met Maverick Slider could already tell that he would be a pain in his ass, Ice started that flirty teasing, Slider knew that Ice meant for it to sound mean, he wanted to rile him up and play his game, but something about it was just off, the tension was way too thick for it to go unnoticed, he always wandered if Goose could feel it too. Still, he didn’t say anything, Ice could figure it out later

The bite was just unnecessary, Slider could tell that Mav was just as invested in this as his pilot was, they were dancing around each other like a weird fucking mating ritual, then Ice decides to do a bite, he obviously meant for it to be threatening, he knows that, but to Slider it just looked really gay, but he doesn’t bring it up, he shouldn’t bring it up, right? Ice trusts him. He still tries to push it, he asks him if he’s ok, that he needs to be careful and concentrate on their goal, Ice looks at him like he’s trying to figure something out, he turns and says “don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing”

He does not in fact not what he’s doing, he catches feelings, it’s not just attraction, it’s not about sex, no, Ice cares about Maverick, Slider sees it in the way that he looks at him, he sees how much Ice wants to comfort Mav, how he looks at him when they get in their planes, how he tries to make sure he’s ok, that he’s safe, he cares, not just as a pilot

They make it back and Ice and Mav get worse, he truly didn’t think it was possible, “you can be my wingman any time” “bullshit you can be mine” that shit might as well be a love confession, and Slider realizes that it’s not just Ice that caught feeling, they’re both in love. But they don’t talk about it, Slider doesn’t bring it up, Ice will tell him, he knows that when he’s ready he’ll tell him

Slider is getting tired of waiting, it’s been about five years since they graduated top gun and Slider is getting really tired of this bullshit, sometimes Ice can’t hang out because he needs to “do something” Slider thinks that’s a weird nickname for Mav, sometimes when they all get together Ice will sit next to Mav, close enough so that their shoulders touch and they’ll spend the night talking to each other, laughing at secret jokes and looking at each other like they’re the most precious thing they’ve ever seen, Slider decides that he’s limiting the time Ice has to finally tell him, he really can’t take more of this “we think we’re great at keeping secrets” little act

A year later Slider has had a enough, Ice is buying groceries and Slider goes with him and when he sees Ice pick up some disgustingly sweet cookies he knows something’s up, Ice doesn’t like those cookies, so he asks, and Ice casually says “oh, Mav loves them” and he snaps, this cannot keep going, so he grabs him by the shoulders and looks him dead in the eye and tells him “I swear to god… I swear to fucking god Kazansky that if you don’t tell me that you’re fucking Maverick then I’m going to walk away and you’ll never hear from me again, I’ve had 6 years of you two being all stupid and in love and I have reached my limit, why won’t you fucking tell me, just tell me, please” Ice freezes, he opens and closes his mouth several times before he takes a deep breath, nods and shrugs “I’m fucking Maverick” Slider let’s out a sigh and pulls Ice into a hug “thank god for that” and it’s finally over

It’s not over, Slider soon finds out that knowing about Ice and Mav without them knowing that he knows is way better than knowing about them and them knowing he knows, because now he actually has to play “best friend of your boyfriend”, he’s the guy Mav asks what to get Ice for his birthday, he’s the guy that Ice whines to about Mav, he’s the guy that has lied countless times for their asses, he’s the guy that needs to be there when Ice wants to propose, he’s the guy that has to endure hours of ring shopping with an insufferably nervous Ice, he’s the guy that has to execute their proposal plan to perfection, yes, even when Ice decides to change it last minute, he’s the guy that needs to make sure that their little backyard wedding is absolutely perfect, he’s the guy that has to write the greatest best man speech anyone has ever heard, he’s the guy that has to give all his parenting advices to Ice when Bradley comes into their lives, he’s the guy that has to tell Bradley all the embarrassing stories about them, he’s the guy that has to help Bradley sneak out of their house to go to a party, he’s the guy that has to be there for Ice when Bradley leaves, he’s the guy that has to help Mav deal with Ice’s cancer, he’s the guy that hugs Ice until neither of them can breath when he’s officially cancer free, he’s the guy that has to give an even better best man speech when they get married again, legally this time, he’s the guy that cries his eyes out when Ice gets his second diagnosis, he’s the guy that holds his hand when he’s dying, he’s the guy that has to be there at the funeral to make sure everything’s in order, just like Ice would’ve wanted it, he’s the guy that has to shake hands with people he doesn’t know because “yes he was a great guy”, he’s the guy that has to make sure Mav is alright after Ice is gone

He’s the guy, he’s always known and he’s always been there

[bluginkgo]

Just what in the fack did I watch... I'm gonna go watch it again just for funsies and to cry again (Rambles/Thoughts)

This post will mostly contain random rambles and thoughts I had while watching and rewatching the episode. And a lot of this is just going to be me ranting about scenes (the rants will most likely make you wanna go "Ginkgo, that's common sense we can see it smh." XD Just roll with it. Oh and NUzi scenes

Spoilers, duh and lots of words. Oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

First thing I found interesting, is how the Solver behaves in this scene. It's mere shadows, not even fully manifested. Further proves that the Solver transcends simple time and space, and is on a different plane of existence- a 4th dimension if you will.

The humans did, in fact, learn how to control the Solver. The pentagram like projections act as gravity enforcers and lights that subdue the solver for a period of time. Buuuut it seems that it's not full proof. It seems that this occurance is fairly common, seeing as the workers nearby were not very concerned that an eldrich being was about to break loose.

Alright another slow moment here. But I had to google wtf "MacGuffin" meant (English isn't my first language, so take it easy on me ;w;). And taking this straight from the google search "an object or device in a movie or a book that serves merely as a trigger for the plot." So most likely, the Absolute Solver is referring to the fact that Mitchell the intern set things in motion simply because he was mistaken for the real Dr. Chambers... Classic- CLASSIC human mistake XD

So... Heart/Nori. Something interesting is going on with her. I believe Nori WAS injured by the DDs and had to be finished off by Khan. I'll touch on Khan a bit later. But, just as seen with Eldrich J... I'm not sure why I've never thought of this before! It makes sense for Nori's corrupted core: Heart, to still function properly. Meaning, she could have snuck away when she was killed and returned to the cathedral to search for the crucifix. Uzi gets most of her style from Nori 🥹. Seems like Uzi got her mom's style and Khan's engineering abilities.

I had it all wrong- and I am ALL FOR IT! N wasn't afraid of something he saw ahead. He was upset with what they left BEHIND! V! And THIS ENTIRE SCENE

You cannot believe how surprised I was. This scene was so much better than I could have imagined it. Yes, it was painful to watch, but sweet robo-god this was executed SO DAM WELL TwT It was delicious angst. And Tessa was not in fact drawing her sword on Uzi, but instead protecting her... kinda... with an ulterior motive of course.

The gut wrenching betrayal right there. The animation team did a wonderful job at animating the betrayal and how it manifested in Uzi. Disbelief and then anger.

Not to mention her stumble. I hyper fixated on that stumble a bit too much on my first 2 watches. (Yes, I've rewatched the episode 8 times now, hush I love it XD). Her stumble shows weakness. And in that moment, she wishes to be anything BUT weak. The suspicion of betrayal is settling in, and she needs to be able to fight back. But her body is giving out. The events are taking a toll on her. And makes me appreciate the animation detail that much more.

This scene N is definitely angry. He's trying his best to keep it together and Tessa's pressure to injure and kill Uzi is not helping. So for him to be talking to Uzi, while glaring at Tessa is just him driving the point home. He is NOT going to hurt Uzi, no matter what they might find down in the labs.

But a poor choice of words that was. It gives Uzi a glimpse of what was actually happening and what has been bothering N. The trust vaporizes, and with it, any attempts with communication.

And what I believe, gives a nod back to ep2. As N steps in to try to help Uzi up, she retreats. Same happens in this episode. And the kicker? "Falling... for you" song starts lightly playing in the background.

This is far too comical after he says he deserves to have his limbs cut off. The whiplash I got from that is ridiculous... in a sad and funny way.

What an amazing shot. But it does paint a picture of what the DDs have done. Perhaps the blood also acted as cooling agents, and this is why the trend continued with robots- except this time around as oil. And this is what the Administration CYN most likely blocked out. Not only the manor time, but also the bloodbath that followed as Earth collapsed.

THE DOG MADE IT IN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's interesting on how the solver manifests in the drones. It seems that Uzi's wings and tail, do not make the solver go insane, and she can continue to use it. However, later in the episode the same wings and tail go berserk. So it seems that once the transformation has set in- like with Uzi- it becomes part of the drone rather something that is manifested by the Absolute Solver's control.

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE XD Part 2A that Khan refers to is on the bottom left corner, the green core that Uzi got a hold of back in pilot episode- also titled as "I think this is a robot liver or something lol."

Plan B: Uzi could have had a normal gun if railgun didn't work. Bottom right corner

Top left corner under Uzi's railgun title: "30 min recharge time. That'll be fine." Famous last words ever XD

Top right corner: "Other things it can do: Not judge me, force prom dance, I can say I had friends but fricken murdered them with sci fi weaponry."

I love how sassy he is here XD His character development and arc is something that I will never forget. He has definitely come a great ways. Khan also seems adamant about his wife being completely dead. Which proves that he didn't know a single thing about the Absolute Solver and what it can do. He could only reference Nori's insane drawings and deduce that the planet was going to eat them all soon.

Idk if this is just my tired brain, but this comment felt like a joke to me. (Remember, I don't know anything about computers and the language ;w;) But the physical patch to save herself... as in, the same patches that are sent out for games/programs to fix bugs? That's the joke I got out of that one 😅

This entire sequence was something out of my nightmares XD The heel tapping that KEPT GETTING QUICKER definitely had me reeling back from the screen XD

The Nori and Yeva scene was so wholesome 🥹. I loved the way the animators showed their interaction. Despite the hellish events, they were still close.

My only issue with this image is, on what is Doll moving? Not like the floor. The core is gone from her body, what the heck is still driving her forward? Perhaps just on the sheer will to warn Uzi to "fight back." And I suppose I can see how she could still move without her main core. Almost acting like chickens do, when you cut their heads off. One was able to live for 18 months after the head was cut. So I suppose I can get behind the idea that Doll's final wish was to warn Uzi, at the very least, and thus forced the body to move until it did so.

But then, Tessa shows up. Which makes me wonder if she was the one that simply lead Doll's body to come to Uzi. How? Uhhh... Absolute Solver! Let's just go with that sweat face. The con in that theory is a simple: why? Why bother leading Doll to Uzi? To spook her? To give a false reason to attack Uzi? Given that N was still very much behind them all, I don't see why the Absolute Solver would try to make up some odd reason to attack Uzi. It could just simply... go ahead. There was no one there to fool, and could incapacitate Uzi easily. Buuuut I could also be looking too deep into this, as per usual.

Hey guess what.

I found the answer. XD Just as I'm typing this up, a frame popped up.

Yup, the core was still inside and thus running Doll and thus Doll could move, ok carry on. XD

Emotions spike the Absolute Solver, something that I love seeing and appears to be less headcanon and more canon at this point for me. Through the entire episode, the Solver keeps glitching out and forcing Uzi to lose control because in this situation, she's very stressed. A betrayal, a misunderstanding, learning about the past, everything becomes too much. This makes keeping the solver at bay that much harder.

He did NOT give her any chance. Yes or no, Tessa. That suddenness surprised me- in a good way. This shows how much N has grown. He's willing to stand up for his beliefs that much better. If he suspects something, he now acts on it, and does not wait for the other side to perhaps change his mind.

This scene. This scene shall live in my head rent free for a long while... Actually, the entire episode is gonna live rent free for a while. XD Not to mention the "Falling... for you" song plays in the background yet again. Ugh, pulling on heart strings there ;w;

They had us all fooled XD The hand lights were on just to trick us, and in fact were meant to be off this entire time! Oh you sneaky sneaky people. >w<

ALL OF THESE SCENES, they're all so cruel but SO GOOD TwT So cruel in context of how tortured N must be to fight Uzi, but so good in context that this fight sequence and animation is executed SO WELL. All of Nori's slaps were so personal XD Mama Nori educating NUzi

When I saw this scene, I couldn't help but think of ep3 and their dance. This entire episode is so bittersweet ;w;

She's still there TwT And she sees this entire fight. Of what she has become and done to N and omg I'm crying again. Moving on.

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBER BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD I love Nori/Heart's reaction, but the Absolute Solver also gets me laughing a bit too hard. "WHAT." That's so simple yet so effective. "What. Why. You are a DD I sent to kill the hosts, why are you hanging out."

The entire scene with NUzi screaming. Just. YES. What better way of gettin rid of stress than screaming! ^_^

Oh you sneaky, sneaky people. Well, all I can say, you got me. You got me good. This is something I didn't think of, but should have. It's simple to get these shots with certain rigs missing. And it was done seamlessly. Well done, well done. I begrudgingly applaud you. XD

HE'S PATTING HER HEAD AAAAHHHHH *proceeds to ascend to another realm*

They did not... omg they did XD Ah, yes, welcome a new horror oh and by the way here- :3 a cute face

Omg they look so cool- KHAN WTF XD

LOL J THE PRIOR HAZARD WARNING AHAHAHAHAHA

The way she shook his hand trying to snap him back to himself and wake up 😭. And the entire sequence following this... I'm just now slowly starting to process it, oh and great I'm sobbing again. Alright, moving on.

Well, I have some thoughts in this. This is personal thoughts, thus this is where you are more than free to yeet this section into the void that Uzi was dragged into... sorry that was a bad joke- anyways. "Die mad." I feel like this is her way of telling N to not give up. To go out there and FIGHT. But if he can't win, then to die like she is. To die in a way that he will be proud of and to go batsh*t crazy. Because by now, Uzi must know that all of their chances of survival are slim. So you might as well go out with a bang and "die mad."

Something I noticed and was further solidified when @bloodywolfwings also mentioned it. Uzi looks at peace here and very accepting of death. And I say, yes, she very much is. I think this was a way of her asking N for forgiveness. For getting mad at him in the beginning of the episode, for failing to be useful/protecting N, and for fighting against him- despite being possessed. And perhaps even, as an incredibly insane and radical thought, for loving him. This entire episode has put the characters and us through the wringer, and that "sacrifice" was just the cherry on top.

Something I have seen already mentioned once at very least (by @/rebecca-babe) and something that also put me on edge was the ending credits... or the lack of. Of course, all the credits roll, but it's not the usual type. Instead of an upbeat music that is either "Uzi the drone killer" or a theme that was seen in the episode... its SILENCE. Being a musician myself, I love how much love has been put into Murder Drones. The sound effects and the main music are always top-notch. But that ending unsettled me the most. The lack of all noise is something that is terrifying and unsettling in that ending. Almost like all the music and sound left with the "sacrifice" of the main character, Uzi. The entire episode was filled with sounds, silence only being present when something incredibly WRONG was happening - like at the beginning when intern Mitchell re-entered the cathedral. And as much as I love how well executed this entire scene was, I hated it. Because that scene does the job that it was set out to do. Put you on edge, and make you feel like all hope is lost. That this is it. This is the end.

This is the end of my rambles and thoughts that I had while watching ep7. I may have more later on as I keep rewatching this episode for the rest of the week ;w;

Want to hear more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts!

[mdhwrites]

My Frustration With Belos

As a presence, Belos is fantastic. He actually has probably some of the best animation in the series and arguably the best voice actor in the entire cast. He sells every line Belos has with a gravity and menace that the emperor might otherwise not have. He sells his anger but also his control and even after I stopped liking the show, I found my attention demanded when he desired it.

Unfortunately, as a character he absolutely fucking sucks and is almost impossible to take seriously.

He only functions as Belos. Not even Emperor Belos because once you bring in that title, you have to tilt your head and ask "Well, what is he as an emperor? How does he use his minions to enact his will? What is his will?" In that order:

He is a kind, stately emperor who only asks for one rule to be obeyed. Even if you stayed out of the fold, if you come to him willingly seeking forgiveness, you will be granted it and absolved of your crimes, like with the wild witch friend in Hollow Mind. He revolutionized the Isles, turning them from seeming small towns to a now interconnected nation (his rise to power is literally impossible with news being able to spread so people can fact check him) and brought safety and regulation to a land that has none (Terra acts like the Safety codes in Them's the Breaks are new or something so beneath a proper witch as to be able to be entirely ignored and no one cares.) No one faces persecution except those who flaunt breaking his one rule but you may be of any race, skin color, belief, etc. and he doesn't care. You are all equal in his eyes.

He uses his minions weakly. They are bumbling fools who are honestly better at party planning than they are at combat (look at... Literally any fight with the EC scouts frankly. The literal only wins they get is raiding an empty, unguarded house and attacking two exhausted, distracted witches who are out of power.) They are seemingly not punished for this though except supposedly at the higher ranks. Even then, they are merely demoted. Those who wish to leave also show no fear in doing so, as proven by the EC scout who says fuck this and goes off to join the cute cat coven. This displays a lack of interest in power or enforcement.

His will appears to be to bring order to a land of chaos. To bring structure and unity to a land that didn't have it. He will go to any length, including manipulation, lying and threats in order to obtain this. He keeps mystique about him, seeming to believe that being feared is stronger than being loved, fitting with his claims that the Titan speaks to him and wishes for a rather extreme societal change. One he will see to no matter what.

These are... Actually interesting. You know, until you remember his actual goal is the genocide of literally every living being on the Isles. Then they come across as incredibly stupid, inept and backwards for what ANY of his goals should be and that's without getting into how his plan explicitly left out the entire child population of the Isles. This means he didn't even actually want to get the job done properly before he fucked off.

That is befitting Philip and Belos though as actual manipulators. They both are on easy street as far as it goes. The one manipulation we see from Philip is by using two people who clearly want something from him and are interested in helping him so so long as he doesn't literally start throwing fists, he's fine. Belos meanwhile leverages Eda's curse against Lilith, an entire fake backstory against Hunter, and just being Kikimora's boss to get what he wants. Anyone not in the EC though he never manages once to actually convince of anything and he is pretty bad at actually keeping up his deceptions.

This is of course made worse by knowing that 400 years ago, that commanding presence that is Belos... Was actually just a whiny British bloke who couldn't even wait until after his victims were dead to gloat about it. I tooooootally still fear him, especially as S3 commits narrative contrivance after narrative contrivance to A: let him be ALIVE and B: to let him win, CONSTANTLY, without also murdering the main characters. Like he literally tells a group of witches and a monster "I'm saving your souls," while he has them all at his mercy, having already shown he was more than capable of beating them all... And leaves. Because he is REALLY bad at his goal.

And honestly, him being so bluntly tied to a movement, time period and ethnicity that all bluntly say he's Christian without saying he's Christian... Actually just kind of makes him worse. Knowing his beliefs makes his behavior BAFFLING. He has none of the actual zeal and fury of a crusader, who were so bloodthirsty as to have peasants march on their own as they screamed Deus Vult, nor does he have the actual politics and methodologies of colonizers. The closest he is is a missionary and that's not even the case because he's not interested in conversion, only genocide. He is just an asshole who has the label "Christian.

It says nothing. Most of his character says nothing. They slam you over the head saying he should be saying something, that his backstory should be deep and that he had grand plans but if you interrogate these claims, no he doesn't. He says nothing except "Christianity bad" and essentially condemns the ENTIRE RELIGION because of how little nuance there is to him, his backstory makes him look pathetic, whiny and potentially sympathetic which makes no sense with the rest of his character, and his grand plan was literally DESIGNED to fail because he never gave it any real thought or else he would have baptized witches into being in covens so they had the sigils from birth and he'd get ALL OF THEM.

He is perhaps the personification of what is wrong with TOH in this way. If you look at any one scene, it seems to promise so much. The animation is correct. The voice acting is correct. You can see what themes he's supposed to be talking about and can make a Twitter post very easily about it. But... These are all surface level and only function as moments.

As a whole story, as a whole character, it falls to tatters as you see there was nothing there except conflicting promises and basic fantasy tropes.

======+++++======

I'm trying to not blog about TOH as much anymore because I'm just kind of tired of it but Belos has always been a thorn in my side because there are so many scenes that are so effective with him but when I think of him as a whole, I have nothing but boredom and annoyance. So I wanted to properly explore that and highlight how little sense his character makes and why just consuming him like popcorn is functional, even good, but if you try to have him for dinner, you'll find only bones.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[robin33r]

Okay. Idk how things are in the reboot BUT. Sam's being a daddys boy is so fucking overlooked I've never seen ANYONE mention it

I've noticed Sam seems to be a HUGE emotional support for his father Stanley, constantly looking out for him, constantly keeping an eye out, warning hjm etc etc. And along with pointing out warnings of hid issues or heads ups as well, tbe fact Sam's also having to make sure his father doesn't do anything dangerous or get himself killed, the fact he says "again" seems like this was a reoccurring issue. Sam seems to be a huge Caretaker for his own father other than maybe the essentials such as being bathed but nonetheless he's still acting as though he's his dad's caretaker. The fact Paul found his dad in a literal dump gives me the idea that Sam's dad LITERALLY needs support and needs Sam in order to function properly without being hurt because without that supervision he's gonna get in trouble. He might be so aggressive with his friends problems since he doesn't want the stress of taking care of another person that way yet despite doing everything to avoid that when the issue comes in with his dad he instantly softens up like second nature. The fact that compared to how everyone gets screamed at, and puyshed aroudn by him when they haver problems, hes really gentle with him and anytime he haas a problem hes very gentle about it. Also his dad canonly gets night terrors and Sam himself has them as well. So bc I feel like those and the fact he probably forced himself to stay up to take care of his dad got it into a habit to where he just, doesn't sleep until he knows everyone else is awake or when he knows they'll be sleeping soundly.

[personasdestinyy]

drive you insane | Kim Seokjin drabble

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; Your senior knows very well how to drive you insane.

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, fuck buddies, uni mates, age gap (2 or 3 years)

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: senior student Seokjin x reader

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, orgasm denied, oral (f receiving), fingering while fucking with tongue, spitting, maybe there's more, I've forgotten.

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k+

a/n: I actually wrote it last night because I was incredibly bored and my mind just wasn't functioning properly. So, I wrote down whatever thoughts popped into my head at that time while I was listening (drive you insane). If this type of theme doesn't interest you, feel free to skip it. 💃

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐲 [𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝]

"Yeah~ just like that-um", you let out a soft moan, feeling your back arch and your eyes roll back in pleasure. The sensation is so intense that you start to wonder if you might pass out. Your nails dig into his shoulders, clinging to him as if your life depends on it. The feeling of your senior's dick deep inside you, hitting your g-spot, is absolutely mind-blowing. He never fails to impress you with his sex skills in bed. You're grateful that you took the chance and asked him to hook up at the university party. That day, he claimed you completely, devouring you with every thrust. You were his, and he made sure to fuck you until you couldn't even walk straight the next day.

He withdrew his cock from deep within you, leaving you feeling a sense of loss as if a piece of your heart had been taken away. But it was the effect of his dick that you simply couldn't resist.

Even when early today he engaged in conversation with his friends, you found yourself captivated by the way his Adam's apple would prominently move up and down as he spoke. Your mouth would water at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing. Your weakness was undeniably his Adam's apple and his dick. You longed for him to take you right then and there, and you acted on that desire by sending him a message expressing your need to be fucked. He gave his friends an apologetic smile as he bid them farewell in a hurry, taking you to his dorm. Throughout the journey, you couldn't help but smile like a fool, knowing that he too couldn't resist you.

"Hmm? Are you asking me to pleasure your sweet little pussy exactly the way you want?"

He whispers softly, his voice resonating with the intensity of the passionate sex encounter taking place in his dorm room. His gaze, filled with desire, locks onto yours, making it impossible for you to resist any longer the longing for him deep inside you. With a desperate yearning, you arch your hips, yearning for the connection between your bodies. However, he retreats, settling on his knees before you. A mischievous smirk dances upon his plump, perfectly shaped lips, causing you to clench around emptiness.

"Please, Jin," you plead, your eyes welling up with tears as you never break eye contact with his now sparkling gaze, clearly amazed to see you so vulnerable beneath him.

"What Jin? Words baby, 'cause i asked you something", he responds with a playful tone, and it's unable to deny how much you love this side of him. It's fascinating how he asks you questions during intimate sex moments and becomes serious when you're unable to answer due to the overwhelming pleasure he brings. You prop yourself up on your elbows, partially sitting up, just so you can get a better view of him.

'Fuck' A soft curse escapes your lips as you feel his intense gaze burning into your nacked body. You can't help but notice how his chest rises and falls with each breath, how his broad shoulders seem even broader in this small room. His hair, damp with sweat, falls perfectly over his forehead, just the way you like it. You find yourself yearning to run your tongue along his perfectly toned skin, from his abdomen all the way up to his neck. And his impressive dick, reaching his abdomen, looks so hard, throbbing, and enticing that you can't help but desire to take it in your hands and feel it deep inside you. Your impatience grows, and he's the reason for your desperate longing. After all, who in the entire university wouldn't want him? All the girls desire him, and you're no exception. But what sets you apart is that he hasn't been with anyone else on campus except for you.

"Yes, I want you to treat my pussy like I want", your request was clear, your desire evident in the way you spoke. Your voice, hoarse and unrecognizable to your own ears, betrayed the urgency of your need. But the focus wasn't on that, was it? No, the focus was on him, on making him understand what you craved. You're craving his dick.

However, as you looked at him, it seemed like he had other plans. His eyebrow cocked up in a mischievous manner, a smirk dancing on his plump, pink lips. His body shifted slightly, moving closer until his face was level with yours. His warm breath fanned across your lips, sending a shiver down your spine. You were under his spell, completely at his mercy.

"I'm not going to give it to you the way you want," he whispered, his voice dripping with lust. It dawned on you then that he was going to play with you, with your mind, with your body. And he knew exactly how to play the game.

He moves in more closer, his eyes filled with a mix of desire and hunger. His lips gently graze yours, sending shivers down your spine. You can't help but lift your head to meet his kiss, only to be surprised when he suddenly grabs your neck firmly with one hand and pins both of your wrists with his other hand. Your eyes widen in shock at this new, unexpected move. Your body responds with a surge of arousal, your senses heightened by his touch.

As he leans in closer, his eyes now filled with a sense of urgency, he playfully nips at your lower lip, causing you to instinctively wrap your legs around him, drawing him even nearer. You can feel the heat of his body against yours, his hard dick pressing against your wet pussy. But just as you start to give in to the moment, he bites down on your lip a bit too hard, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. Despite the pain, you maintain eye contact with him, a single tear escaping from your eye.

In a sudden shift of mood, he releases your lip, neck, and wrists all at once, rising to his knees once again as his gaze darkens.

"Turn over onto your stomach," he commands, his voice firm and authoritative. Without hesitation, you comply, your body moving almost on its own accord in response to his dominance. You can sense that he's about to take things to a new level, exploring uncharted territory with you. Though he's been rough with you in the past, this new side of him, with his orders and control, is both thrilling and intoxicating. It's a side of him you've never seen before, and you find yourself eagerly anticipating what comes next.

He grabbed your knees firmly, lifting them effortlessly onto his shoulders. In an instant, your whole body was suspended in the air, with only your hands and face touching the plushy surface beneath you. Your hands instinctively clutched the bedsheets, holding on for dear life as you felt the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins. A strange sound escaped your lips, a mixture of surprise and anticipation as you realized how vulnerable you were in this position.

"Jin, what are you going to do?" you managed to stammer out, your voice trembling with uncertainty. You couldn't see his face, but you could sense his amusement as he chuckled softly in response to your question. His smirk seemed to grow wider, adding to the mystery of his intentions.

"Just going to drive you insane," he replied cryptically, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You weren't sure if you understood his logic, but you knew that he had the power to unravel your senses with ease. As his face drew closer to your drenched core, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin, you couldn't help but arch forward in response. The sudden proximity of his face to your most intimate parts made you gasp, causing you to grip the bedsheets even tighter.

He's exploring new territory today, and it's leaving you wondering why. In the past, he's always pleasured you but never indulged in tasting you. He's made it clear that he would never taste any woman, so why is today different? Why do you have this overwhelming feeling that he's going to devour you?

And just as you suspected, he does exactly that. With a long, sensual lick, he explores every inch of your clit, slit, and folds all at once. The intensity of the moment causes your eyes to shut tightly, and your mouth opens wide in silent awe. Your heart races, feeling as though it might burst from your chest, and the sound of your own heartbeat fills your ears.

He withdraws his tongue from your clit, only to firmly grasp your torso with his large palms as he moves his head further between your thighs. This time, he takes your cunt into his mouth, causing a sinful growl to escape from his lips and a moan of pleasure to escape from yours. And then he repeats it, over and over again.

Lick and suck.

The sensation is so intense that your abdomen clenches, and you feel like you're on the verge of exploding on his face. Your pussy vibrates with pleasure, and he knows just as well as you do that you're about to climax. But he doesn't stop. Instead, he nibbles on your cunt between his teeth, spits on your pussy, and plunges his tongue deep inside your hole, fucking you with his beautiful tongue.

"Oh my fucking God", you found yourself overwhelmed with pleasure, letting out a series of passionate moans as you moved your hips against his face. The sounds of desire escaping his throat only fueled your arousal further as he eagerly pleasured you. Your body tensed as you clenched around his tongue, the sensation both embarrassing and incredibly satisfying. The intensity of the moment built up until you couldn't hold back any longer, needing to let him know you were on the brink of climax. Struggling to lift your head to meet his gaze, you realized the effort was almost painful and you'll break you neck if you try harder.

"Jin, stop I'm going-", your voice was abruptly silenced by a gag as his two fingers entered your core. His tongue still exploring deep inside you, his fingers began to move within you, skillfully finding that spot you were craving for his dick to be. But instead, it was now filled with his tongue and digits, pleasuring you in a way you never imagined. The sensation of him fucking you with both his fingers and tongue simultaneously was overwhelming.

Unexpectedly, you reached the peak of pleasure and cum all over his face as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue and fingers. Your entire body vibrated with ecstasy as you experienced one of the most intense orgasms of your life. However, the moment was shattered when reality hit you like a ton of bricks - you came on his face. Your face flushed with embarrassment, realizing it was the first time he had ever eaten someone out.

But as he licks you once again, your thoughts are abruptly interrupted. The intensity of the moment makes it difficult to process everything what's happening. However, what you can register are the shallow breaths escaping your lips, evidence of the small pleasure coursing through your body again. And then you realized, it's something unexpected - he's cleaning up the aftermath of your powerful orgasm with his tongue.

'Oh fuck'

It's an intimate act.

As he removes your legs from his shoulders after cleaning you, a slight ache lingers on your hips, a reminder of his touch while he was devouring you. You decide to turn over and lie on your back, needing a moment to catch your breath.

When your eyes meet his face, your heart skips a beat. It's a surreal sight - your own orgasm painted across his chin and lips. But what truly takes your breath away is the mischievous grin on his face, his chest rising and falling in a rhythmic manner.

You can't help but smile back, a mix of humiliation and anticipation swirling within you. His eyes hold a different kind of intensity now, something primal and raw.

You're the first woman he's ever pleasured in this way, and judging by his expression, maybe he thoroughly enjoyed it.

You couldn't help but ask, "Why did you eat me out?" even though you didn't really want to. But, curiosity got the best of you.

He wiped away the remnants of your essence from his lips, using the back of his hand. Slowly, he inched closer to you, his movements captivating your attention.

"You always looked at me with those intense eyes, silently urging me to taste you. So, I decided to give it a shot," he explained, causing a smile to involuntarily form on your lips as you listened. He seemed hesitant to admit it, but you couldn't help but wonder if he enjoyed it, if he liked your flavor.

"You enjoyed? Didn't you?" you asked, trying to mask any hint of insecurity with a playful tone.

He chuckled softly, rising from the bed. Your gaze trailed down to his still erect dick, momentarily forgetting that he had fucked you before eating you out. He didn't force you into anything; he simply provided pleasure. Retrieving his pants and boxers from the floor, he dressed swiftly.

"Yeah, I enjoyed it a lot," he replied, pausing to meet your gaze before continuing with a smirk that lit up his handsome face.

"And fuck, I think I'll be doing it every day from now on."

Your eyes widened in surprise, a wide grin spreading across your face as he openly expressed his desire. He had truly driven you crazy.

[lemotmo]

Heyya!!Let me start by saying i am pretty sure buddie's happening this season butt..

Eddie's obvious chrush on ana.It was on his face.

Eddie's intimate scene with marisol.like him kissing her hands showed he liked her.

What I'm trying to say that we can explain these scene's didn't hold that much depth with theories right but the GA doesn't pay that much attention to minute details of eddie's queer coding.

And I will not speak about eddie being in love with shannon or not because we don't know about that.Eddie's pov/memory of his and Shannon's relationship is messed up.What we were shown on screen when she was alive doesn't clarify anything about his feelings when they were together before chris.He loved her that's for sure but in what form is...unknown,if i may.

So coming back to main point,The GA definitely hasn't given that much thought to eddie's sexuality,probabaly assume he is straight.My question is how do you think the writers will make the GA aware of his queer coding and all the umm..inner function-lol-that we as hardcore fans have studied intrinsically.😅

PS: Sorry to anyone who headcanons eddie as bisexual but I don't think so.

Interesting question Nonny. Thanks!

The thing is...

The GA thought Buck was as straight as a ruler as well before he came out in season 7. He had had a long string of girlfriends. More than Eddie even. So, it wouldn't be the first time the GA would have to adapt to exploring a formerly unknown facet of a character.

Eddie has always been queer-coded, since day one. In my personal opinion even more than Buck ever was and most of the GA seemed to adapt just fine to him kissing a guy, so I'm quite certain it won't be as big an issue as some people seem to think it might be, if it is properly introduced.

I do have to disagree on Ana and Marisol. Eddie never really seemed completely comfortable with either of them. He got a panic attack because Ana was referred to as Chris' mother. He obviously didn't care too much about Marisol either if he didn't even give her a second thought when he met Kim.

He also admitted to Buck that he didn't want to go home because Marisol would want to have sex with him. I mean, she was a good-looking woman and he was avoiding having sex with her over something that happened in her past? That's a red flag right there. The whole moving in/moving out thing? Big red flag! The man didn't really want her in his space, but he felt that he had to take that step because that's what was expected of him. That's not a sign of a loving relationship.

And what about his comment about 'feeling like he has to perform on dates with women'? Or his date with that lovely lady where he sat with her all night long, making plans on how to lie to their families. She was great. That would have been a perfect time for Eddie to fall for someone, but once again he just didn't seem to be very interested.

He seems to be capable of building great friendships with women, but the moment it goes beyond that, things start short-circuiting his brain.

Remember his break up with Ana? He literally said that he thought he would start to fall for her over time, but it never happened for him.

When Carla told him to follow his own heart, he looked over at Ana and you could see he wasn't really in it. He never was.

As for Shannon... He met her at a very young age and befriended her. I'm sure he felt a lot of emotions for her and he definitely crushed on her. But when she got pregnant reality set in and they had to get married. So there was never a chance to explore his own emotions beyond what he and Shannon had. He had no way to compare if this was what he was supposed to feel for someone when you're in love.

So yeah, he did love Shannon deeply. I'm absolutely certain of that. But I'm not so sure if it was a true romantic love. He definitely convinced himself that it was. But was it really?

In conclusion: In my humble opinion Eddie has always had problems connecting to women. He has never really fallen in love with one. Not the way he was supposed to anyway.

I do think they'll gradually build up his story as to not drop the GA right into another coming-out without any other context to it. Two seasons in a row might be too much of a good thing.

They might reach back to all the above scenes I mentioned in flashbacks. And they might ad extra scenes as well. Scenes from when he was a child perhaps? Growing up in Texas and having to be 'the man' of the house at an early age? How did that affect him during his puberty?

Gradually the GA will get a new view on Eddie and his complicated history with women. Eventually, after a few extra episodes I think, they will also get a new view on his very complicated emotions for his best friend Buck.