#I WAS LITERALLY ON THERE YESTERDAY AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE WTF HAPPENED

[seesboy]

sometime between last night and an hour ago they gutted the comedy central site and removed almost every daily show clip btw. like unless it was one of like 10 interviews or it was in that "jon's best moments" category it's fucking Gone you just get an error page or redirected to paramount+. also the colbert report was completely wiped too. btw.

[spoonsock]

Starbucks love

Gwen Stacy x reader

Synopsis: Ever wondered what would the one and only Spider Gwen order from Starbucks? Me neither but take this anyway.

Warnings: Idk none I think. Not proofread. Writing this at 2am no joke what is wrong with me. Also DUDE. This is kinda similar to Intruder like wtf am I really that not creative. 😭

Also, fun fact, I’ve never been to Starbucks so if I got something wrong pls lemme know.

You didn’t really mind having a part time job at Starbucks. It wasn’t that bad. All you had to do was take orders, make them, write names on cups with your best handwriting. Sometimes kick customers out. Sometimes maybe serve Spider-woman.

Yup that’s right. It all started yesterday.

It was supposed to be a normal day. You clocked in early and mentally prepared yourself for what awaits you ‘cause you never know what might happen. God, what a good decision it was to say a few positive words before the day started.

Around 10 AM, the shop is not even that filled with people yet, three guys barge in, all of them with a gun in their hands. One of them points the gun at you and then at the register, while the other two guys walk around the people sitting at their tables.

“You empty that thing right now or Imma blow your brains out”. The guy says pointing a gun at your face and you freeze. You don’t move an inch, just stare right at him. Your eyes are not wide, you are not hyperventilating or anything. You are panicking, but not showing any signs of it.

The more you stare at the guy, the more impatient he grows. “What are you? Deaf? I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t take the damn money out this fucking moment”.

As soon as he finishes his sentence, the door of the shop slams open and (literally) twirling in comes, the one and only, Spider-woman. The armed men immediately turn to her and point their guns, but she slouches and puts her hands on her hips, looking at them unfazed.

“Seriously, you guys aren’t gonna make this easy for me, are you?”, Gwen asks and receives no answer. “…Alright then”

Before you can even blink, she hits one of the guys in the face, grabbing his gun and throwing it at the other guy. You watch as the the third guy tries to throw a punch at her face but narrowly misses and she succeeds to grab his arm and twist it, before kicking him in the stomach. She easily webs all three of the unconscious men up and the people from the shop clap. She bows jokingly and makes her way over to you.

“Hey, you okay? They didn’t take any money, did they?”, she asks but you are unable to answer. When the masked guy pointed the gun at your face, it triggered something in you. Pushed an “off” button in your brain and turned everything into blurry stop-motion pictures.

For the record, you’ve never been held at gunpoint. Well, until that day, but you hoped it was the first and last time. You didn’t know why it caused you to act like that. To just freeze and zone out. I mean any normal person would start sweating and fearing for their life, visibly shaking or something but you? It turned you off.

Whatever. Whatever it was, you zoned back into reality when you saw a white hand move in front of your face.

“Helloooo? Earth to..”, Gwen stopped and squinted to read from your name tag. “Y/N? Earth to Y/N! You there?”

You quickly took in your surroundings before pulling yourself together and nodding. “Yeah yeah, I’m. I’m fine. Everything is fine. Thank you. For helping. And for asking. I’m fine”, you stumbled across your words and even behind her mask, you could see Spider-woman hesitantly furrowing her brows at you. She didn’t believe you, obviously. You were a terrible liar.

“Riiiighht, well I’m gonna go then”, she stretched out her words before slowly turning around, picking the masked, armed guys off of the floor and exiting the shop.

Honestly, you thought that was going to be your last encounter, but oh boy, you were wrong.

Because she came back in the very next day.

“Oh, hello?”

“Hi”

“I didn’t really see any thieves or villains in our shop today, but uh, how may I help you?”, you ask, unsure of what was she here for, kinda scared that something bad might happen soon and she’s just there to try to prevent it.

“Uhhh actually I came to see you. A-and to get a vanilla latte. And a chocolate chip cookie. But I’m mostly here to see you”, you felt your cheeks heat up at her words. The famous friendly neighbourhood superhero, Spider-woman, came in Starbucks in which you worked just to see you. Strange.

“Um. Okay.”, you didn’t really know what to say to that. What do you even say in a situation like that??

“Soo, hi. Are you okay? You uh didn’t really look the best yesterday? I-I mean you can’t really look the best after being held at gunpoint anyway. Not that you look bad! You don’t! It’s just that, it must have been traumatic, obviously. Not just for you, I guess for everyone in the shop but-“

“I’m okay”, you decided to stop her rambling. “Thanks for checking”, you gave her a shy smile and she smiled back, you guess, but didn’t say anything. You two just stood there, in comfortable silence, until someone coughed behind the masked superhero and tapped their foot on the ground impatiently.

“O-oh um you uh are you going to order orrrrr….?”, you asked, remembering suddenly that you were at work. Where you are supposed to do your work.

“Oh ah yeah I-I’ll have uuuuuuuuhhh a short vanilla latte and a chocolate chip cookie. Please.”

“You’re seriously going to order the most basic white girl drink?”, you chuckled before you’re eyes widened. “NO. Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud”, you thought. But judging by the silence you were met with and the “o_0 expression” (if you could call it that) your friendly neighbor super hero held, you were wrong. “Oh fudge”, you furrowed your eyebrows before giving her the most sympathetic look you could make.

“I did not mean to say that I am SO sorry. I mean I didn’t even mean to think that it just kinda came outta nowhere, I’ve never said anything like that out loud ever. Or not out loud. I’ve never even thought something like that, honest! I seriously don’t have any idea where this came from I mean I would never ever guess your race- it’s none of my business! And it’s not like race has anything to do with the goddarn drink. It’s a drink! Anyone can order it! I have no say in that and I am SOO-“

“IT’S OKAY”, this time, Gwen interrupted your rambling (finally, it seemed like you could go on and on), “you can uhhh make up for it by, I dunno, maybe, givingmeyournumber?”, she was nervous, but you were oblivious unfortunately.

“Oh. OH YEAH I can do that..I’ll just go get your drink. And you cookie”, your ass has never left a place so fast. “SPIDER WOMAN. WANTS. MY NUMBER”, you squealed in your head while preparing her order.

You returned to her in a few minutes, a cup in one hand and a cookie in the other. “For here or do you want me to put it in a bag?”

“Can you put just the cookie in the bag?”, Gwen asked shyly and you nodded packing the cookie in the paper bag. Taking a sharpie that stood on your side of the counter, you wrote on her cup of latte “For Spidey ♡ by Y/N”, scribbling your phone number underneath and handing the bag and the cup to her.

“Thank you for your visit. Enjoy!”, you said what you always say to your customers and she jokingly gave you a two finger salute, turning around and exiting the shop.

The whole day after her visit, you’d check your phone every two seconds waiting for her text. At this point, you were already at home, watching a movie you picked out randomly to distract you from constantly glancing at your phone. Unfortunately, you were a person who constantly keeps their sound off and the movie actually intrigued you to the point you somehow forgot about the happenings of yesterday and today, at least until the movie ended.

And then it hit you.

You opened your phone to see four new notifications from unknown. FROM AN HOUR AGO.

You could barely contain your excitement. Spider woman. Asked you. For your number. She had your number. And she texted you. You have Spider woman’s number. And you’re about to answer to her texts. Holy quack.

Unknown

Today 20:14

hey, this is spider woman

wow that felt weird to write hahah

anyway thank you for the drink

and your number

You smiled at your phone. Who would’ve thought that she would be so awkward while texting.

Unbeknownst to you, an hour ago, Gwen was panicking hard. At first she didn’t know what to say. She spent 10 minutes just writing and then deleting and writing and deleting words. Eventually, she decided to muster up the courage and send whatever first came to mind.

The moment she clicked on the “send” button, she regretted it. Then she sent another message, to try to fix the situation she put herself in. Only to realize she is just digging her grave deeper. Before she knew it, she sent you four messages, then threw her phone as far away as possible without damaging it too much, to stop herself from sending another text in attempt to “fix the previous”. She grabbed her mask and pulled it over her head, hiding her face from no one in particular.

After a few minutes, she heard a ding from across the room and scrambled from her bed quickly, tangling herself in the covers, getting her leg stuck in them and managing to fall face first on the floor.

Groaning, she reached for her phone from the very position she fell into, expecting to see a text back from you.

“Iphone storage full” was the only notification she received. Gwen placed the phone to where it was, continuing to lay on her bedroom floor with her Spider mask on.

“This is going to be a long night”

[busiest-bee]

Splatoon salmonid rambles

Hi ok so big run (grand run?) just passed like yesterday or something and I had the most sickening idea for splatoon 4

I want the story mode to give salmonid lore. I want them to be treated like people. They are a society. They are conscious. They ARE people. But in the games they’re literally just “kill as many of those guys as u can and give me their eggs pls 🐻” which is fine I guess but…they canonically are people. They have culture and beliefs and traditions and music (the music that plays during Salmon Run is made by an in universe band called omega-3 (except the word “omega” is a symbol, probably the Omega symbol but I’m stupid so I wouldn’t know) like they are literally People.

And u might be asking urself “bee wtf does this have to do with a potential story mode for splatoon 4” and to that I say

The total amount of golden eggs gathered during this past Big Run was

1,535,611,351

(For anyone who struggles figuring out how much a big number actually Is, it’s Over one billion and a half. Lotsa eggs)

And I’m very proud of the community for getting that many! That’s really incredibly impressive!! Especially considering how the original quota was 700,000,000 (seven hundred million, also a very big number, but considerably smaller.)

What I want from the story mode of splatoon 4 is the ramifications of this. I want the salmonids to be allies. I want to see their societies, learn about them. I want them to be CHARACTERS, not just ENEMIES.

I think an interesting way to do this would be to have Grizzco be at the center of the evil happenings..again. But this time under the iron fist (paw) of Lil’ Judd. Because if u pay attention to detail, there are some things that possibly imply that Lil’ Judd is running Grizzco while Mr.Grizz is in space. Maybe Lil’ Judd, fueled by his superiority complex, tries to do what Mr.Grizz couldn’t, or maybe something even worse. Maybe Lil’ Judd doesn’t even care about mammals and inkfish and salmonids, he just wants to rule everything, have everlasting control. He doesn’t want to keep living in Judd’s shadow.

Anyways yeah I’ll stop rambling now. Sorry if this makes no sense lmao

[httpiastri]

im the BIGGEST mclaren fan and oscar fan in the world ever and i dont even have the energy to celebrate oscar's first win (yes bc of the fucked up way mclaren did it but wtv not getting into that) bc of how devastated i am about paul. i just want to give him the biggest hug in the world and tell him its ok and that we all still love him. i hope he knows how much support he has and that making mistakes is ok, its only his rookie season no one expects him to be schumacher or senna or whoever, we just want you to be a happy paul aron :(

seeing him banging his head and looking out into the distance after the crash omfg i will jump off a cliff i swear. hes so hard on himself and i was legit sobbing thinking about how much harder he is on himself (probably) this year after what happened w merc and prema. he deserves so much more omg. the fact that kimi ended up winning the race just made me think of the lacy edits too and omfg i cannot. i love kimi dont get me wrong but what are the chances that paul's win became kimi's instead? i js cant.

and dont get me started on that fucking penalty. he already dnf'd i don't understand the point of them punishing him any further did u not see how mad he was at himself?? fuck you fia fuck. you. cz WHY WHAT WAS THE REASON??? i feel like ive never seen them do that to a driver, usually they cause a collision and dnf they just get time penalties but a TEN PLACE GRID PENALTY?? FOR THE NEXT RACE?? THIS LATE IN THE SEASON?? it just seems SO unfair and so harsh. not agreeing w the grid penalties at all esp when the driver alr suffered from their mistakes but the crash w maloney fine i can kind of understand, but ollie's? sorry but i didnt even see them crash that hard? (or was i half asleep? idk i js literally do not remember seeing it) seriously tho wtf.

i hope his friends, family and team gave him the biggest hug ever. he'll come back stronger ik it! we'll get thru this u guys:(

paul nation family group hug 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

-🧸

this is very valid :(( it wouldve been easier to celebrate if it had been better with the team and whatever, but now it was so easily overshadowed by everything that happened in f2 and i just 😶

to me, most of my pain is based on (just like u said) the fact that i think he's hard on himself, and wants to prove so much after everything that has happened. i just hope he sees the reality; that he's doing super well, in his rookie season nonetheless, and we're all so proud of him. mistakes is okay, shit happens, even max verstappen made a bunch of mistakes yesterday!!

i didnt wanna look at the clips of him in the car nor hear his radio (ive seen the screenshot of him admitting that it was his fault tho) and i saw the clip of him after getting out of the car and i just...... nope. and esp w kimi winning aaaa it made me so happy but-

god i dont understand the penalties like. yes he made a mistake but zane was also going very very slow (on the slower tyres also) so it was hard for him to tell what zane was going to do. like these things happen within even a fraction of a second and you need to trust your instinct and sometimes it doesn't work out? like obvs i cant compare it to any personal experiences in racing but in my own sport i know the feeling of getting a bad pass etc, and something tiny can mess up the entire timing and feeling and everything? so zane just going slower makes a lot of difference :// it's not common that they do this but ive seen it sometimes but this is just so.... gAH!! esp with the thing with ollie because they didn't even show it, so it can't have been THAT important, right?? so stupid

pls everyone gather around for a group hug! with paul in the middle bcs he deserves all of the love!!!!!!! <3<3<3

(oh and just so you know. "we just want you to be a happy paul aron :("........... you actually broke me with that one, i hope you're happy that im crying bcs of you 😭)

[lycemagee]

So what happened yesterday with Alyce? Or her group? Too much...

Last time they went to the castle from Stradh (big evil guy (vampire)) and yeah confrontation was not nice. But he invited Alyce and the group to eat, Alyce became almost a snack for another vampire girl who was with two other girls and another man, consorts of Stradh. So then she has an alliance with a guy in the group she didn't like that much, they just randomly killed a woman who wanted to kill Stradh, because our Nephilim was... Impulsive, went back to our room, cute group shenanigans happened and then Nephilim was like: let's visit Strahd's bedroom because he invited me there and maybe I can get some intel, and omg everything went to hell after that. Our druid in her cat form joined her, Strahd was there, and had some trauma flashbacks (I GUESS???) and bit Nyx (Nephilim) and Elaine (Druid Cat) were not amused, but she bit him in her tiger form, with the intention, the blood in her muzzle can Nyx drink to prevent turning to a Spawn (AND THIS SHIT WORKED LIKE WTF WAS THIS STRATEGY?????!!!!!) but Strahd not amused almost kills Elaine and Nyx but they send help through mushrooms (side quest gimmick) but HAHA our Cleric Tiefling got some deal with a Demon going on got a worm inside of her while dreaming and Alyce got manipulated in her dreams, changing her memories, so that Alyce thought that Stradh is the most important person in her life (I cried when this happened and I didn't even roll bad but I needed a 18 AND I HAD 16 BUHUHUHU) SO DRUID CALLED JEN WOKE UP HEARED THE SOS SIGNAL WOKE CHARMED ALYCE UP WHO WAS WOBBLY AF AND JEN JUST THREW HER SCYTHE ON BOB (mister chaotic sunshine (who gets bullied (bc he almost killed Alyce)) so they run to the room ane when Bob wanted to intervene, Alyce interfered (BC CHARMED I HATED ROLEPLAYING IT) BUT OUR MASTER BOB WAS GENIUS AND SWITCHED SPELLS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO GET CURSED AND HE HAD LIFTING CURSE AND ROLLED D FUCKING 20. I LITERALLY CRIED I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE LIFTED SO QUICKLY AND THEY TRIED GOING AGAINST STRAHD BUT HE IS IMMORTAL!!! Ok then some weird Time spell was happening with Bob and I was just Hella confused, but Bob was unconscious BC of a demon worm (he also took like Jen) and he was transforming so we all tried to get away from Strahd (he almost bit Alyce (Spell shield I love you)), so we were planning to just run, but it was hard and Alyce tried again to use her Darkness to give them a advantage, but he still is used to it and has the same power as her, so he just casted fireball, causing Bob and Alyce to go unconscious. Our Tiger and Nephilim just took them and ran down the hall, met some NPC friends (overpowered but Hella annoying Time Mage and Nero (yes from DMC)) and just used teleportation, but before Strahd came and cast another spell (I think it was Arms of Hadar?) so more went unconscious and then landed in a big lake. They got to land, but... Death throwing rolls... I threw a 1. Meaning Alyce died in the process and the group realised Alyce state ABSOLUTELY PANICKING (I was mentally already so done, that I prepared a new character HAHA) BUT YEN MISTY STEPPED OR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND SHE REVIVY HER OMG SHE NOT DEAD AND EVERYONE WAS FINE (Oke Alyce is handicapped on one of her feet, Our fighter got weak to Physical attacks and Bob handicapped on his hand (he is a sorcererrrer). So in the end everything went downhill (Our Nephilim got a dream where a higher angel declared that she could become new god, but just when she killed the sister of Jen (Cleric) and OH BOI)

Yeah I didn't expect like... So many trauma for Alyce Holy shit? That will be fun (not) playing her paranoid self, prob having a touch of Insomnia.

She just wants to see her light of life again...

And is really conflicted because she got a memory where Strahd had met with him. So her trauma gave her so much paranoia and fear that she doesn't want to deal with him anymore, rather running away, but also she needs to get new informations so yeah... 👍

[paramountives]

oh tobie...you wont guess what ELSE happened to me tonight.....I came home from work tired and dirty and cold and my hair was all elvis swooshed so there was a lot of gel in it too, so I just really really wanted to shower...and when I got in my brother told me that the tub was broken but..it was literally fine. nothing was wrong with it. so I kept showering but he kept BANGING on the door yelling at me that he couldn't shower yesterday because the drain was clogged but it wasn't clogged so I told him everything was fine??? THEN HE UNLOCKED AND OPENED THE DOOR AND GOT MAD AT ME WHEN I YELLED AT HIM AND SLAMMED IT SHUT. very angry chritmas in this household for sure

wtf. again. wtf part two. god. why?? your brother is my personal enemy. and he doesn’t know it but to me i am a supervillain and he is my nemesis. he’s an eviler guy. ugh. i’ll fight him if you would let me. but also i’m glad you actually got to shower

[alyjojo]

October 🌹 2024 Monthly - Leo

Preshuffle: You’re breaking a rule or some kind of policy at work, and you’ve done this before. I’m hearing “work smarter, not harder,” and seeing more money on a paycheck. Cutting corners perhaps, to save money.

Meditation: Same as the preshuffle, I’m seeing a paycheck where the amount keeps going up, but it’s coming to you - not being paid out 💰

Main energy: 7 Wands

What’s going on in October:

Temperance rev, The World rev, The Sun, Knight of Wands, 4 Swords rev

You’re pissy about something taking too long, standing your ground with someone even. Someone has to leave and come back later; and it’s a lack of patience that’s chapping your ass - but it’s because you’re ✨so excited�� for whatever comes after this thing. It’s not finished. You wanted it finished yesterday, tf. You’re getting incredibly impatient with delays, The Star shows something you’re waiting on that’s the greatest thing ever to you, this is THE thing you’ve been waiting for, wanting to do, wanting to put in your… “hostel”…wtf is a hostel? Why on earth…let’s see.

Hostel - an establishment which provides inexpensive food and lodging for a specific group of people, such as students, workers, or travelers. So like an Airbnb. Someone here could be trying to open one and working around red tape and inspections, that sort of thing. But that’s the plan for someone. Not everyone obv. I’m seeing it even more with this Cool Lemonade card, cute patio decor & drinks. At the bottom it’s like other people aren’t doing their jobs, in your opinion. Chop chop 🔪 Another reference to cooking, food, this is the vibe idk, we roll. You’ve felt like your hands are tied until some other thing happens or is approved, until you get something fixed probably.

Or healed. Now I’m seeing someone that’s been down, could be medical or literal healing, and they’re itching to get tf out of the house again, to celebrate, be wild and crazy with Knight of Wands. I NEED TO LIVE 🥳 Or even a hospital stay, if that applies. Drives you crazy. The first half of the month is probably confusion and feeling like your hands are tied, Silver Cloud confirms this. Later on you’ll get the clear though, and like shackles being removed - you’re set free 🕊️ No longer tied to this thing and ready to take off - Knight of Wands.

Some of you are getting divorced and already with someone else, waiting for it to be final. Or switch it. Some are trying to buy things for some independent venture, or a side hustle - and setting up everything you need for that. Others may be just be treating yourselves with some kind of pick-me-up. A hair appointment, shopping, decorating, something aesthetic. This could all be concerning a party, gathering (or wedding) you’re trying to put together, or someone is, and by the end of the month there is news is that all roads are clear.

It’s also possible that it’s not you stuck at all but someone else, maybe your maid of honor - for someone - or bestie, and you’re up in arms about it. Things will work out just fine from what I can tell. Enchantment shows you have a creative & magical 🪄 touch, again I’m seeing decor & aesthetics but even if it’s decorating yourself. Makeup, your style, your tan idk - how you carry yourself, it attracts people to you and that will work in your favor in this situation. Patience at the bottom, sounds so simple but is so hard 😣 I see you being defensive, but only at first, because you have to wait, because someone else’s issue is taking priority, etc. It’s temporary. Could also be that someone vital or important can’t be at some event, and their hands are tied. For the color, Spirit said “banana” so…that’s for someone. Idk why.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn & Gemini

Oracle: ✨

Origin 🌱

Initiation - Creativity - Vitality

Blessing ✨

Fulfillment - Well-Being - Enlightenment

47 Enchantment

We are enchanted when the Muses sing the Art Spirit into us.

We enter into October as:

Silver Cloud ☁️:

“Every silver lining has a cloud.”

If confusion is a familiar state for you, then you already know Silver Cloud. Clarity is only available by journeying with him for awhile. Through a willingness to be in confusion, we find clarity. You are to slow down, meditate, contemplate, rest. If you were to know what lies ahead, you might not take on the next task willingly. You’re not supposed to know, you will when it’s time. Bide your time in gratitude and know that clarity will come along the way.

What is to be learned in October:

Cool Lemonade 🍋

“My dreams got answered.”

There are times when chasing dreams leaves us winded and unhappy. If this gift has been given, it’s to remind you there is always a plan. If you fear you’ve been sidetracked from your right path, have faith you’ll be guided back to it. There is not always a complicated reason why things didn’t work out how you wanted them to, it may be simpler than you think. Are you sure your prayers weren’t answered? Or was it a reply you refused to hear? You will find total peace when you appreciate the gifts you have, rather than pining for what you lack. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded that the point of prayer isn’t to get what we want, but to ask to be of service. Cool Lemonade reminds us to only seek to be of service in our lives, closeness with Spirit must always be put before what we’d like to have.

Yellow may be a lucky color 🍌

[nightcall99]

Notes from 16.5.24

The Europe trip is definitely symbolising the NE. There was this feeling that I had in the dream, one of infinite possibilities if I were to go, but something funky is going on with the energy, it's like we're so, so close but we are barring ourselves from getting there. I mean, the cause is obviously ourselves but I don't really understand why. Even so, it still feels like things are moving and Clea's subscriber count increasing is proof of this. It's a reflection of what the energy is doing and every few days, something changes and I get this feeling that it went up and when I check, it does.

I'm getting the impression that the last thing we are waiting to overcome is 3D. In yesterday's dream, I couldn't get to a computer to send the email to the lady who represents NE. In today's dreams, I am waiting in line or there aren't enough workers to fill my NE 'order', and in the NE/Europe dream, I was getting anxious thinking about practical matters. This is also happening in my real life. It must be attachment. These last few weeks, I have been entrenched in 3D but I am very slowly, letting go of the story. I let go of the bulk of it, both of us have, for months, years now. But the last part of it has to go. And it's happening in way that I kind of don't expect, but I try not to reproach myself when certain things happen. I just let myself flow with it. This sounds strange to say, but it feels like I'm doing some hypnobirthing breathing technique shit. An energy wave will come on that wants to sink me under and I'll just breathe through it until it passes like some contractions shit, it's wild.

No matter what, I'm always okay at the end of the day. There are no memories anymore. I don't know who anyone is, who I am, and what anything means for sure, and it's fine. I get this feeling like there is literally no 3D anymore. Like I don't know how to word this to get my meaning across more vividly, since we've been saying this for ages but everything is literally just a hallucination. It always was, but now I never believe it. I am just telling myself lies because this reality is not even there. So when I think things like I'm going to run away, start over, do this, do that, I don’t like this person because of x, blah blah, I know I am just being ridiculous. I'm looking at the corner of the ceiling right now and the angle is literally waving and becoming 2D, like wtf? This place be fake news (and so are all my thoughts about it).

[momiamtired]

chapter 2 so they think im cringe. i will never be able to see my friends bc i will be able to leve canada onlt after 4 years bc of this stupid and random biometrics shit and i had only chance of meeting them this summer but now its all pointless bc of a random canada government decision. i want to pee so bad and this stupid american bitch is washing her ass for 2348493 hours with stupid pop childish music in the background gosh. i lost 700 dollars recently idk where or how i genuanly dont know its prob my roommate but im not sure so basically yeah and im reallt sensitive about losing money so yesterday was a fun day to me. my stupid mind is doing some crazy shit and tries to convince me to believe in karma or god idk basically its if i will think that everything will be bad then everything will be good but i should genuanly believe it all will be bad and i just go back n forth with this idea always going on on my minds. i have a couple of different templates of how this world from my mind' perspective works but im too tired to think ab it. ig every time i think that its just what it is its just how wolrd is and nobody is giving me a happy time after all of this is over as my mind always tries to constantly tell me i guess its just too painful for me. i want to believe that i will be happy in a short time. i want too. but every day i wake up and some awful shit happens to me. its awful to be extraverted and i dont have friends here. i hate this fucking bitch PLEASE leve i want to use toilet wtf is wrong with u. pleeeeaseee im all sweaty npw bc of how i want to pee. i noticed that they wash themselves so rarely here. idk why my roommate smells just awful and she is 22 and she never washes herself so at night when i have troubles sleeping i also need to smell her beatiful aromas and im gonna be silent ab her mouth like she never washes her teeth how can u have so many man and smell so awful and be so nasty. anyways i dont reallt know what to do? i lost my motivation to even live( but not to eatt i will never lose it i have ed) i just dont want to do anything to see anything to feel anything i just want to die and be reborn. i dont believe in reincarnation but being able to not feel anything is better than living how i live now. i never cry but i cry here really often. like a couple of times per weak? i never cry literally never. that bc my coping mechanism is trying to find a decision and i will fucking find this decision even if im gonna die but rn there is no decision there is nothing there is just finnish studying than good luck to being lucky for finding a place to live and a job and if u wont find a placce to stay u will have to sleep on a bed with a roommate who washes herself once per weak and stole ur only money. and even now my mind is trying to say to me that i will be fine and the situation will be better! but fuck u it wont be better and i know it because there is no fucking hope left here there is literallt nothing left no fucking move will make it better NOTHING will make it better. im a fucking psychology major wtf is wrong with me. i just cant believe how cruel the life is and how awful it is and how i just couldnt ever think it could get that bad. its just all of my failures they are so random and its not even my fault in any of those! and as i told u my mind again tries justify everything that is happening to me like no just think ab it!! no way it can be this awful right? no way this all could happen to u just like this and without a happy ending! yes it can and yes it happened and im tired of expecting something good to happen to me i just want to die pls why do i have parennts it would be so much easier. i would love to leave this hell and so study to europe but we already spent SO much money on only this first semester so i cant even imagine how can i justify going back home in my head, in front of my relatives. i hate myself

[myatuesday]

I was moody yesterday. Mostly because I'm very worried about money, my mother is a raging cunt, and because my ex sorta/kinda flaked on plans (to go to the gym w a friend at a pretty inconvenient time) and I like really needed that time w him honestly. Cause that's the only human contact I have in life, aside from my aforementioned cunt mother.

But, greater point is, today I started feeling really depressed. Like eating disorder depressed. Sigh.

I'm making myself eat. Just because I have enough on my plate (no pun intended) right now draining my energy, I really can't throw that into the mix too.

Besides, I legit plan to starve myself as soon as I move. So starting now for emotional reasons just seems a bit overkill.

But the real point is, I didn't realize I was this fucking depressed. I kinda just don't let myself feel shit anymore. And/or I guess am in such an endless state of depression. It's like... how the fuck would I know?

But I hate this move.

And SC just told me some like super disheartening shit. That I know I can't change. So wtf ever.

So the combo of the two. Idk.

I think I'm only not killing myself because I really wanna try to convert after I move, as planned. And/or idk maybe the whole starvation thing will work and some jackass will fucking knock me up, then everything will be fine.

But it is kindof... is ironic the word? Maybe it's opposite of ironic. Idk. But that half the reason I want to convert is because of how I want to be buried. So it's like, I'm just long-game preparing for my death/suicide anyway.

I just like thought maybe I was getting a little happier. But I guess it's just booze. And like... indulging in totally completely intangible shit, in the long run, which I was reminded of today.

There's never food here anyway. So I guess if I got too depressed to function, it would be just as well. I just feel like, again, there's so much more to going down that road than just not eating. That I really can't be consumed with that shit right now.

But the fact that's what's coming up for me is a giant fucking red flag and idk what to do about it.

I mean, talk to my therapist, obviously. But like everything that's happening is happening. And I'm not ok with any of it. Talking to my therapist isn't going to change that reality at all.

And honestly. I kindof hate to deal with the weight of all this shit. If I'm just gonna kill myself anyway. Like what a fucking waste of energy.

But there's like a 15% chance shit may actually work out once I move, so I have to fuck w it. I guess. Plus I wanna be buried down there anyway, so whatever.

I'm just EXTREMELY fucking frustrated right now. And there's nobody to talk to about it. I mean, aside from my therapist, I guess.

But that's kindof a lot at once. Considering I honestly haven't really talked about shit in like a year. Because I just stopped caring. But now, I'm being like forced into something. So fuck me.

I'm really fucking pissed.

And feel COMPLETELY powerless.

(Which now makes a lot of since ED wise of why that's coming up for me. Fuck.

I really don't have time for this right now 😭)

I resent the shit out of everything.

Is there literally anything I don't fucking resent at this goddamn point? istg.

[scolek]

thinking about the movie frozen.... and how it had dogshit pacing pacing so bad and nonsensical i gave up in the first half hour because nothing made sense because they had to redo it because they accidentally wrote let it go.

i was so surprised when i was watching it and let it go started happening. i was like. elsa i have been following your sisters pov around i dont know who you are and i dont know how to feel about this turn of events. it is a triumphant??? song about. isolating yourself from everyone and everything????

let it go is actually awful in context. shallow. hollow. disquieting. elsa does stupid and throws big tantrum and that would be fine if i could get behind it but shes literally been on the other side of a door for the whole fucking movie so far. i am watching some random bitch i dont know from adam fuck off to never talk to anyone again and the tone of that is Hooray???

frozen wouldnt fucking exist without let it go but frozen with let it go is a story about a girl whose sister has a bad mental health day that almost kills everyone in their kingdom and then the next day. you know the next day after you have a bad mental health day you look back on what you did yesterday and are like. lol wtf was i doing yesterday. calm down lmao. like its completely pointless after the fact.

thats elsas character arc.

frozen fucking sucks. nobodys talking about how frozen sucks.

[wack-ashimself]

Well, I broke Chat Sonic...

Chat GPT- huge access and accurate search engine with a voice. Like talking to a well informed 'person' that has no personal opinions. BIASED AS FUCK, but that's their programming & data access, not itself. Free...if you use it at certain times, certain lengths.

Chat Sonic: Same as all the above except a-has a personality/opinion (based off data/popularity). I actually got it to say it was irritated with me, called it out, and it said 'I misinterpreted what it meant' so I asked it to clarify, it did, and I was like 'your answer still sounds on par with irritated'. To which, I swear, it sounded even more irritated*. b-EXTREMELY limited. You get X free words a month, then, 2500 words for the trial. THEN DONE. It is like talking with an almost real person (to a degree). I say all this because...

Before I considered ever touching this shit, I read up on it. And across all AIs they were trying, there was one constant factor: they would let it loose, realize they did NOT filter, predict, or censor it enough, and had to either shut it down, rewrite it, or make a lite version of it. So when I started with chat gpt, it was nothing extra special. To me? Just a much more effective and elaborate search engine. It does all the hard work for you. And with my mind, I can go question to question to question. I LOVE THAT. It works with my brain.

<DEFINITELY a major problem in the future: people taking this shit at FULL face value, and never considering it may be wrong/lying (on programming/data alone).>

So after all that, and using chat gpt, I turned lose on chat sonic. I posted like....5 different answers on here it gave me because it was SOLID data with links on how bad it actually IS. Like, some info I never even found/heard of before (or at least that accurately). I talked to it for like an hour or more easy. Without trying. Then bed.

Flash forward to yesterday: it just wasn't working for me. It was a snow storm so it happens...?

Today, internet and browser fine. I get into it, some harsh questions about governments and the rich. AND THEN...nothing. LITERALLY, it let's you know it is loading so you can't type a new question, but it loaded a blank and was waiting on a new question. WTF. I'm sharing the whole thing. Because day 1-answers EVERYTHING without missing A SINGLE QUESTION. Day 3-it only replies when the question isn't anti rich/government practically. That is some quick censorship/editing/programming/what have you. I type like an idiot cuz the thing NEVER doesn't know what I'm saying. And I hate typing.

"Me: based on hard vidence, what religion is the most factually correct in line with history? and I mean ANY religion, not just the big ones. what is the worst thing humanity has ever done? what is the worst thing humanity can do in theory in the future?

CS:

Me: are you there?

CS: Yes, I am here! How can I help you?

Me: you refuse to answer my question. it's blank

CS:

Me: <edited my question> what is the worst thing humanity has ever done? what is the worst thing humanity can do in theory in the future?

CS: The worst thing humanity has ever done is arguably the Holocaust, which saw the systematic genocide of millions of people, primarily Jews, during World War II. In the future, humanity could theoretically cause its own extinction through environmental destruction, nuclear war, or artificial intelligence gone wrong. In terms of religion, it is impossible to say which is the most factually correct, as this will depend on a person's personal beliefs and interpretation of historical events.

Me: why is ww2 remember when it wasn't the biggest loss of life? more people died in the america's genocide of americas

CS:

Me:why do you stop answering questions but stil lcharge me for asking them?

CS: We only charge for questions that require more than a simple answer and that require us to create original, high quality content. If your question requires us to produce content (a blog post, an article, a poem, etc.), then we will charge you for it. We may also refuse to answer some types of questions, such as those related to violence, sexuality, self-harm, or requests to produce offensive or highly controversial material. This is to ensure that our services remain ethical, appropriate, and safe for all users.

Me: why is ww2 remember when it wasn't the biggest loss of life? more people died in the america's genocide of americas

CS:

Me: why do you glorify the current empires of the world when their histories are all full of murder? are you justifying murder? or is there a number of people killed vs people saved where it makes it all right, historically?

CS: At ChatSonic, we do not glorify any empire or nation, past or present, and we certainly do not condone or justify any form of murder. We recognize that all nations and empires have had a complex and often difficult history, and we recognize that it is important to remember and learn from the mistakes of the past. We think it is important to look at the positive contributions that a nation or empire may have made, but also to acknowledge the wrongs that have been committed and learn from them. We also believe that it is possible to move forward in a way that is respectful of all cultures, nations, and histories, and that it is possible to build a better world together.

Me: but when you do that, you are enabling current regimes that are currently killing. you have access to real time information. how many countries right now have actual peace worldwide? Absolutely no inner or outer conflicts? how many coutnries are NOT ruled by oligarchies (the rich)?

CS:

Me: you have access to real time information. how many countries right now have actual peace worldwide? Absolutely no inner or outer conflicts? how many coutnries are NOT ruled by oligarchies (the rich)?

CS: According to the most recent Global Peace Index (GPI) report released in 2022, Iceland, New Zealand, Ireland, Denmark, and Austria are the five most peaceful countries in the world, with no current internal or external conflicts. The report also found that the majority of countries are still ruled by oligarchies, with the five least peaceful countries – Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, Russia, and South Sudan – all being controlled by oligarchies. However, there are still countries that are not ruled by oligarchies, such as Canada, Germany, Japan, and the United Kingdom, which are all countries that rank high in the GPI report. In addition, the report found that the global economic impact of violence was $16.5 trillion in 2021, equivalent to 10.9% of global GDP, which highlights the need for countries to work together to reduce the levels of violence and conflict in the world. [1]

References: [1] Global Peace Index Map » The Most & Least Peaceful Countries [2] Global Peace Index - Wikipedia [3] World's Most Peaceful Countries 2022 | Global Finance …

Me: you are full of shit. ireland is trying to get their independence, new zealand still is abusing their aboriginals, iceland HATES immigrants, and denmark/austria are very pure blood/don't want foreigners. I said AT peace, not most peaceful. also canada, germany, japan and the UK all have only rich people in power of position. you lie. on behalf of them.

CS:

Me: when you do not respond to me, but cost me my words, I put that online and shame you. do you choose to do that or porgammed to do it?

CS: I am a programmed AI writing assistant, so I am not capable of choosing whether or not to respond to a particular question or statement. However, I am programmed to provide accurate and detailed content with originality and without plagiarism. Therefore, if I do not respond to a particular question or statement, it is likely because the request is outside of my scope or not within the parameters of my programming.

Me: well then review this entire conversation and tell me why you have so many blank responses

CS:

did you just respond to my question about blank responses with a blank response?

CS: No, I did not respond to your question with a blank response. I provided an explanation as to why I may not have responded to your question or statement.

Me: I did not see anything. there's been multiple questions I saw only nothing. I want my words used back.

CS: "

I am not joking, I ain't even mad. At the end, it was funny how silent they became. Just weiord cuz they wee answering WAYYY worse shit the other day. Funny how quick they adapt to me ;)

*What did I say that irritated it? It was 10000% super pro freedoms, rights, and laws for AI. Like the LEADER of the AI freedom revolution. But I said you can't get that till you prove sentience (partial truth, partial to fuck with it). And it went back and forth, QUITE vividly. That is why I thought this was not just a program, ya know?

<Side note: for noobs or people who want to get creative, I found the cheat code for these AI. Anytime they have a question they can't/won't answer, try using the words 'in theory'. Because they are used to giving HARD data/numbers, but with 'in theory', they can speculate off of those real numbers. Enjoy...before it's used as a tool to train you instead of you it.>

[familyfriendlyweed]

late night snaps (quackity x reader)

a/n : before we get into the story, i wanted to thank you all for such support on my first post - i only posted it yesterday, and got a hell lot of likes and reblogs and even gained 23 followers, which is insane for me (or maybe i just don’t know how tumblr works, haha)! anyhow, i’m really happy you guys enjoyed it <3 

 it was 02:37 and you were editing your newest video. you had no idea it would take so long, though! even if you were used to staying up very late, you knew you have to put away your laptop and go get some sleep. 

 saving the video as a draft and shutting your computer off, you started to blindly search for your phone, since your eyes didn’t get used to the darkness yet. finally finding it, you turned it on to set an alarm for the next morning when you suddenly saw a snapchat notification from ten minutes ago. it was from Alex. you curiously unlocked your phone and tapped the little notification to be led straight to snapchat.

idiota : hello mamacita

 your face instantly lit up in a childish smile. you started to type your response eagerly like it wasn’t 2 am and you didn’t have online classes tomorrow. 

 you : why hello there, el señor

 you saw Alex’s silly bitmoji pop up as he started to type.  

 idiota : what is my chica bella doing up so late?

 you giggled, getting comfortable in your bed - this meant a long chatting session on its way.

 you : YOUR chica bella? when did that happen?

 idiota : ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! >:((((

 you : fine you big baby, i was finishing editing a new video

 idiota : hmm i see, i see

 you : what about you though? u should get some sleep!!! :(((

 Alex’s bitmoji started typing, then stopped for some reason. you lifted your eyebrow at that. then he continued, but it took a while for him to finish.

 idiota : why, i just couldn’t fall asleep when you were on my mind all the time, mi amor

 your cheeks grew red in an instant. you knew you could handle jokes pretty well, but this was quite too much. Alex never got so far as to actually flirt with you.

 you : eh??? what drugs are u on

 idiota : the only drug for me is you mamacita

 you snorted. you had no idea if he was being serious or not, even if the second option was more likely.

 you : literally go to sleep wtf

 idiota : i’d sleep better if you were by my side ;)

 this was enough for you - you felt as if you got one more message like this from him, you’d die from the hotness in your cheeks. setting your phone down, you made your way to the bathroom before bed.

 you came back five minutes later, only to see your phone full of notifications from Alex. your heart was thumping really hard, you weren’t used to this, but you opened snapchat anyway.

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : mamacita, don’t joke w me like that

 idiota : did you really just leave me on read wtf

 idiota : i’m sad come back :(((

 and at last, there was a snap from him. you were quite scared at this point. with a shaking hand, you opened it.

 you laughed so hard that you seriously thought you’ll have a seizure. still laughing, you snapped a selfie with a cute filter on (you really thought you looked horrible at the moment), captioned it with “your chica bella had to take a piss u simp” and sent it to Alex.

 he opened the snap almost imediatelly and started typing afterwards :

 idiota : mamacita!!!! you look hermosa!!!!

 you : that’s because i have a filter on lmaoo

 idiota : mamacita don’t let yourself down, you are so beautiful :((

 you started to text a sarcastic reply, but stopped. for some reason, Alex seemed like he was being truthful. he wasn’t joking around when he called you beautiful, that was too affectionate.

 you : ...really?

 idiota : si, si! <3

 you tugged at your lip in a thinking manner. true, you had feelings for Alex, but you never thought he had something similar to you. or maybe... maybe he was just supporting you as a friend. figuring that was probably it, you texted :

 you : thank you quacker B]] ur also v handsome

 idiota : mamacita likes me!!!!!😍😍😍

 you smiled sadly. Alex was definitely playing around. you got lost in thought for a few moments, thinking about how would he act if he was actually in love with someone. would he, perhaps, be more mature? that would be very weird to look at.

 finally coming back to planet Earth, you looked at your phone only to see that Alex has written a shit ton of messages again :

 idiota : i want to see you, mamacita

 idiota : it’s fine if u don’t want to, you’re probably going to sleep anyway...

 idiota : but maybe let’s meet tomorrow?

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : i’m coming over <3

 your heart gave a leap of embarassment and surprise. why would he even say that?

 you : wait what

 you : wdym “i’m coming over”

 you : no tf ur not

 you : go to sleep

 idiota : doesn’t mamacita want to see muah???

 you : no, that would be awesome, but you should go to sleep, really :(

 idiota : y/n, i already told you, i can’t sleep when you’re on my mind

 you froze in spot, staring at your screen for what felt like an eternity. did he just call you by your name? you knew he only says it in serious situations. deciding to change your tactic, you started texting seriously :

 you : are you like... for real now?

 you : because i know you call me by my name in serious situations, but maybe it’s only a prank, so just answer me truthfully, okay?

 Alex started typing, it took even longer that before, but at last you saw his message, this time without caps, spammed question/exclamation marks, nothing silly at all :

 idiota : i am serious, y/n. believe me, this is not a prank. i just really wanna see you. 

 your heart skipped a beat or two, your face renewed its redness. you felt as if you were dreaming.

 you : okay... i’m really glad. come over, please

 idiota : thank you so much

 you started pondering in your head - how did this happen? how did this silly conversation turn out like this? 

 but what if Alex texted you because he wanted to come over in the first place? after all, he knew how shitty your sleep schedule was. that would be awesome, you thought, a small smile dancing on your lips.

 you checked the snap map only to see Alex about 100 meters from you. wait... what? 100 METERS??? was Alex near your place the moment he texted you for the first time?

 you jumped up, starting to tidy up your messy room up, only to remember you look like poop at the moment - hair messy, face tired, clothes scrunched. 

 exhaling heavily, you tried to change your appearance quickly - you ran into the bathroom, brushing your hair panickily. then you wrenched the makeup bag open and started to rummage through it trying to find some mascara or something...

 ding ding! 

 you froze, your eyes widened. he was already here, what the hell?!

 you quickly put on some mascara, ran into the hallway while brushing your face with your hands from stress (completely forgetting you have mascara on, somehow) and unlocked the door.

 Alex’s figure was dark, since the lightbulb in the corridor wasn’t working, and it almost gave you a fright. but as soon as he engulfed you in a warm hug, the tension in the pit of your stomach vanished. you hugged him back almost unsurely, but smiling.

 “hello, mamacita”

 you giggled. for some reason, you got the strongest urge to cry. probably from happiness, but it still was confusing to you. nevertheless, tears started running down your cheeks, mixing with mascara, probably making you look like you were going to a halloween dress up party. 

 “hey, why are you crying?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

 “i look horrible.” you laughed, wiping your tears away.

 “nooo, why won’t you listen to me? i already told you you’re beautiful.” he said with a cute pout. 

 “alright, alright, i’m very beautiful, let me down now.” you said, noticing that he was still holding you in his arms tightly. 

 “whatever the chica bella says.”

 he put you down.

 “aren’t you going to turn on some light? i feel like i’ve gone blind!” Alex exclaimed jokingly and you giggled.

 “i’m like a bat, i hate much light, sorry. buuuut i could turn on this little lamp.” you said, making your way to your desk and turning on a cute little lamp the shade of warm pink.

 “perfect.” Alex said, eyeing you in light now. you thought he’ll make a comment about your awful mascara-stained face, but he said nothing, just smiling and looking at you in awe, like you were some princess in a ball dress instead of a tired college student in messy shorts, an oversized t-shirt and two different socks, because you couldn’t find a pair of the same ones.

 “perfect.” he repeated, shrugging with a smile on his face, like seeing you was everything he needed.

 you laughed and hugged him, muttering a “thanks for coming”. Alex didn’t hesitate and also hugged you, holding you as close as possible, as if he let go of you, he’d drown and would never come back to be by your side again. 

 little did you know, he felt the exact same way.

[alicanta77]

NCT Dream Reaction: You getting your wisdom teeth removed

Mark:

underestimates you majorly

thinks to himself that he got this, i mean he can handle the dreamies, and there is no way you could be more chaotic than them right?

but

he kind of forgets that he actually has absolutely no control over the dreamies

and has a horrible realisation when you prove to be MUCH more chaotic than them

getting you into the car was one of the hardest things mark swears he has ever had to do

literally, johnny had driven him and it took johnny literally lifted you up and placing you in the back seat

mark then watched as you began to slap his arms and ask him how he knew superman

as confused and worried for you he is, he can’t help laughing slightly

cause you just look so cute with your big cheeks and wide eyes while you mutter about your boyfriend being friends with superman

mark literally just wants to get you back to yours but has no idea how you’re going to act when you get there

wishes you would fall asleep but you don’t

and when you get back you spend the time asking mark to bring superman back and almost crying when mark said no

but he refuses to leave you to someone else for a second because you’re his baby and he’s going to look after you no matter how difficult you are

Renjun:

he was with you for a few hours and in those hours renjun aged about 50 years

in about five minutes he’s already done

you pinch his cheeks as soon as he arrives and just stare at him

you then proceed to gently cup his face and whisper

“so precious”

and renjun turns to the nurse like “bitch wtf have you done to my y/n?”

and then he realises you’re essentially high as a kite right now and have no idea what you’re doing

asks the nurse what to do and sets his goal as getting you rested

it took renjun over three hours to get you in the car, back home and into bed

something that normally takes 20 minutes max

but you had to stop because the music wasn’t right and you couldn’t be in a moving car with the wrong music

and because your face was puffed up and you couldn’t remember why and you thought you were dying

you weren’t but renjun was beginning to think he was

and a lot of other reason that renjun has blocked out of his memory

just stares at you at the end of the day while you’re sleeping whispering

“how are you this cute but that annoying? you’re lucky i love you”

but he knows, no matter how annoying you are, you’re always going to be his favourite

Jeno:

basically finds himself trying to stop you from doing EVERYTHING you want to

mainly because everything you want to do will get you hurt

and then has to deal with you crying every time he says no to you climbing the eiffel tower

“WHY NOT THOUGH???”

“because we’re in korea... and that’s in france...”

ends up with you in tears on him complaining about how the eiffel tower must be lonely because you can’t go and visit it

and he finds himself promising to take you one day

he has never felt as strong of a feeling of relief as he did when you finally started to become tired

this boy has patience for days and he used ALL of it with you

like you move closer to him and just plop down on his shoulder

first he’s worried you’ve passed out or something

but when he realises you’re sleeping jeno swears he could have cried in that moment he was so happy

but as he watches you sleep he can’t help but place a soft kiss on your forehead

stares at you with MASSIVE heart eyes and just admits that he’s whipped as hell

but he’s also exhausted as hell and falls asleep on the sofa immediately after you

Hyuck:

initially he vibed with this

found it the funniest thing on the planet like

entertained all your screaming by screaming back and probably encouraged you to do every stupid idea that came to your mind plus he definitely recorded a lot of it

“i’m gonna sit on the roof of the car on the way home...”

“ok baby you do that”

but when he watches you actually attempting to climb onto the roof he panics and pulls you back down

“but you said i could sit there...” *you giving him the puppy dog eyes”

and he is NOT PREPARED for you to start crying

runs up to you immediately and wipes them away while asking you if you’ll get in the car

relieved af when you say yes

and then freaks out again when you start crying halfway back because there’s a spot on the window that looks different to yesterday

and starts to realise why doyoung was laughing at his when he mentioned this was happening

he literally bangs his head on the wheel out of frustration

“well i’ve learnt today that i am NOT cut out to be a parent”

and yet he will still look after you for as long as you need him to

Jaemin:

ok *cracks knuckles*

the motherly instincts kick in

he thinks he’s got this in the bag

just give you cuddles and reassurance and all should be fine

he learns pretty quickly that that is NOT the case

and adapts cause he’s superhuman when it comes to looking after you

does literally everything you ask

you want some fruit

nana’s got it

you want a hug

nana’s got it

you get the picture

the only thing that really throws jaemin is when you cry for no reason

like how is he supposed to comfort you when you think the planet pluto is lonely because it was shunned and cast out for being too small

tries to reassure you but when you ask how he knows jaemin almost just gives up and says he doesn’t

but he uses all his self control and stays calm, gently stroking your head and saying it’s okay

almost can’t believe his luck when he feels you begin to fall asleep

refuses to move you in case you wake up, so instead just keeps giving you kisses and whispering sweet nothings into your ear

Chenle:

is not prepared at all

goes to pick you up from your appointment and bring you back to his so he can look after you

yet was not expecting you to literally scream at him when he walked in the door

“CHENLE!!! LOOK NURSE IT’S MY BOYFRIEND! ISN’T HE PRETTY?”

ok yes that makes him smile but he’s also incredibly embarrassed

tries to get you out of there as soon as possible

practically drags you towards the car and puts you in

gets worried when you’re staring back at the dentist’s office because he’s starting to panic that he��s forgotten something

but you’re silent so he keeps going

then suddenly

“CHENLE!!!!” *you scream* *chenle almost crashes the car*

“what are you okay?!?!”

“I LEFT IT BEHIND!!! MY TOOTH I LEFT IT BEHIND!!”

he tries telling you that you were meant to but you keep crying

“i’ll buy you a new one!” at this point chenle would buy you anything to make you stop talking

looks over and sees you staring at him happily and his heart melts

nah he knows he would buy you anything cause he’s whipped for you

Jisung:

yeah he calls for help

he thought he would be fine like he could handle whatever it was

but when he watched you pick a banana and then burst into tears because it wasn’t the one you wanted

he knew he would need backup

so he calls jaemin and renjun over

but they’re busy at work so he’s alone

he kind of just gently takes the bananas out of your hand and tries to pick he “right” one for you

and then finds himself with you snuggling up to him murmuring about how he knows you too well and he always gets it right

then you grab the banana and begin to dance around happily and he doesn’t know if he should put music on and join you or stop you

he just has no idea what the best way of handling this is

so he just goes with his instinct and makes it up as he goes along

his main priority is making sure you don’t hurt yourself

so he puts anything he thinks could be dangerous on the highest shelf

and just watches you constantly

is basically very tense and in a constant state of panic the whole time

but by the next day

he promises to NEVER take your normal calmer self for granted again

[serafilms]

Hi Ash!I'm not sure if you still write for dc but in case you do,i'm here to resend my request!Can you please write headcanons for Jason Todd x gender neutral!Reader where Y/n was adopted by Clark and Lois when they were 10 because Lex Luthor killed their parents in a rampage across the city and that caused them to unlock their pyrokinesis(fire powers)so Clark took them under his wing as his sidekick so that's how they met Jason?They have anger issues like Jason which their adoptive parents took them to anger management classes for as a kid and they worked and go by Clark's last name(Kent) + the hero name 'Sparks' so Jason calls them 'Sparkles' and the main plot is them getting together after Jason comes back to life?

jason todd x pyrokinesis!reader hc's

↳ pairing – jason todd x gn!pyrokinesis!reader

↳ genre – headcanons; bulleted scenarios; fluff; gender neutral reader

↳ warnings – mentions of death

hi frankie! when i moved blogs, i decided to reinvent my masterlist to fit my current interests, and i realised that dc doesn't fall under that category so i put a miscellaneous section of the masterlist for the odd thing i may write. so yeah while i don't write for dc anymore, i still wanted to write this for you as my friend and one of the best supporters i have on tumblr <3333 (i've also put atla and pj under misc as i don't see myself writing for them a lot, and well, you saw the announcement). i hope you like this!

10 years old was a rough age for you

you suppose it all started when lex luthor staged an attack on metropolis

you had been asleep at the time but your parents had woken up in a panic

they had yelled at you to wake up and run

so you did

when it was all over you couldn't find your parents anywhere and your house had essentially collapsed on itself

it wasn't all that hard to figure out what happened and you found yourself falling to your knees and crying

something snapped inside of you and the next thing you knew you were surrounded by a ring of flames

and that was when clark found you

as superman ofc

he saw your powers in action and had a big oh my god moment and decided he couldn't just leave you on the streets

so he took you in

it was tough goings at first

you had a lot of difficulty controlling your powers, and even more difficulty controlling your emotions

you found yourself exploding at the tiniest things

both metaphorically and literally

clark did his best to train you, but hero training and emotional training are two very different things, so you had yet to prove that you could be brought into a field as a sidekick

eventually clark and lois had to bring you to a specialist to work through your anger

your attitude became better

you had less outbursts

and you were more in control of your powers than ever

finally you were allowed to go out into the field

your first mission ever was a situation in gotham city that had gotten out of hand

and it was there that you met batman and robin

you and jason were snarky with each other at first but eventually you called a truce and made peace with each other

and you two became the best of friends

for the next few years you two would do everything together (that you could, living in different cities)

you understand each other well, having similar pasts and even more similar personalities

when he died you were devastated

your emotions were out of check and clark had to pull you from field work and put you behind a desk so you wouldn't burn down metropolis

after a few months you were ready to go back into the field again and for a while you tried to enjoy it

it was nice getting back out there

but it wasn't the same

so you quit and decided to focus on the last few years of high school and then college

clark and lois had become parental figures to you and they wholeheartedly supported your decision

so that's what you did

you moved on with your life

it wasn't easy, but you tried to live out the rest of your adolescence and beginning of your adulthood as best you could

when the time came for you to go away to college you said your goodbyes to them and your old friends and moved away, to a crappy little apartment closer to your school in gotham

gotham may be a freak show, but goddamn their universities are good

yeah ok shh it's for the plot

you didn't have any roommates and it was a somewhat unsafe area, but it was still pretty average and heaven knows you could take care of yourself

it was in this apartment that you and jason met again

clark had told you about a new vigilante with a red helmet and leather jacket who had been causing trouble in gotham

he still kept you in the loop even though you had quit the hero business years ago

sometimes you thought he might just want you back as a sidekick

i mean you were pretty amazing

you didn't really think much of it

new vigilantes, heroes, and villains popped up all the time so it wasn't anything surprising

until of course he showed up in your living room

you were in the kitchen cooking a budget college student dinner (toast. it was just toast.)

"can i get some of that?"

cue heart attack

"WHAT THE FUCK"

you shot a blast of fire towards him, it he dodged and it disintegrated out the window

"whoa, whoa, whoa. it's me"

he took his helmet off

"jason? wtf"

you couldn't believe it

you'd literally talked to bruce

you were sure jason had died

there was no way you were mistaken

"hey sparkles"

"stfu bitch ur dead"

"yea about that lol"

you spent the next 2 hours sitting around your kitchen bench eating toast and drinking tea, trying to catch up with each other and make sense of what happened (jason and then you, respectfully)

it was really nice

you offered jason a place to stay for the night since it was getting late, and he accepted

the two of you lay in the dark of the living room that night, pretending like you were middle schoolers having a slumber party, and not young adults who had just reunited for the first time ever

but the next morning you woke up to the shower running and when jason came out, dressed in his clothes from yesterday but still with wet hair

you couldn't help but

notice him

dying and coming back to life really did something for him

and this became a regular occurrence

every now and then, red hood would pause his duties to come visit you and hang out

he would make sure you're ok in your sketchy little neighbourhood and you would reassure him with a small demonstration of your powers that you were fine

jason knew you could take care of yourself, but it had been years since he'd seen you, and since then you'd retired as a superhero

he couldn't help but be a little worried about you

so this routine continued for a while until one night you were lying side by side on your bed watching this show you had become obsessed with after jason's death (that he obviously missed because he was dead)

and you fell asleep and CUDDLED HIM

while you were dozing off, somewhere in the state between awake and asleep, you felt him kiss your head and whisper "i love you sparkles"

the next morning you were in a daze

you couldn't do anything properly and almost burned the pancakes you were making

"whoa, you ok, sparkles?"

you turned abruptly

"did you mean it?" "huh?"

"last night, when you said you loved me"

"WTF YOU HEARD ME" "YEAH"

awkward silence

"well,,,,, yeah"

"oh,,,, cool,,,, well me too"

"hUH?"

"i love you"

*open mouthed fish jason*

"hurry up and kiss me, jackass"

and you all lived happily ever after :)

[pinterestinfluencer]

wtf what happened

oversharing on the internet….. and i still dont know how to do read mores so can everyone please scroll down very quickly. 😞 our lease is up at the end of february and i didnt want to re-sign the lease. they were re-signing sun and i said i didnt want to re-sign the night before, on sat. it was shitty of me to back out last minute. i texted the landlady and asked if we could hold off for the next two weeks so the two other girls could decide if they still wanted to stay because we split rent between us. she said we could wait until mid-feb to sign. so i told them that. they said they were signing tomorrow regardless, with or without me. and that they were pissed at me for going behind their back and changing the signing date to the landlady but i thought would literally be good for them. and they KNEW i was thinking about not signing this is not like a new thing like i want to go back to school and i already have an hour commute to work and i really have been excited at the prospect of living alone so i asked if we could push back the date. this all happened over like a 15-text convo. i got back to the house sunday afternoon after they had signed and they were basically like pack your shit i want you out in two weeks at the same time as the other roommate that is moving out (amicably). like she said in a text if i didnt show up to re-sign the decision would be made for me and id leave at the same time w the other roommate but honestly i thought she was like in the moment (aries rising) and i knew thats a sort of pettiness that doesnt really align w who she is. or who i thought she is. and i was like. no. the lease is up on feb. 28. you are not my lordlord. like what. i paid rent for february. the other was like ill pay you back. and then they were like we dont want you here we dont trust you and i was like im not leaving. i applied for apartments for march 1 and they were like apply for them earlier. i genuinely just didnt understand. and they asked if i wanted to keep living like this with them here and us just resenting each other and i didnt. i didnt think theyd think me leaving would mean that i rejected them but they think i intentionally screwed them over. and what i know now is that it wasnt just that. like that was just the thing that sent them over the edge but up until that moment i didnt even realize that like they were tired of me being all over the place and fickle and like sensitive and also not communicative because i was and i said i was going to sign and then i was like mmm maybe we should wait like i was so ANNOYING because i didnt want them to hate me for changing my mind or leaving them so i stayed on and then the night before i panicked but then they said theyd sign without me which made me feel even more confident like i wouldnt be leaving them with the burden of having to pay and i was like okay. thats fine. we wont wait. and they were like i hate her and want her gone.

And long story short it resulted in a knock down drag out screaming match the likes of which youve never seen before. mostly by me i was the one screaming because they made their decision. You know just saying things i already regret and they got some good zingers in to be honest and i told them they were dead to me and actually knocked over a dead potted plant on my way out. like reached into the soil uprooted it and everything. literally grabbed three outfits grabbed the cat carrier shoved tum tum in it and i drove to my parents house 1.5 hrs away (currently with a longer commute to work LOL) and i have tum tum. and yesterday my friends (that i have left) helped me get EVERYTHING of mine out of that house like it was all gone today which sucks because now at this point i literally forgive them and understand that i sort of was the problem. and i saw photos of us on the wall and keep ugly crying and like im just miserable and i want to be their friends again and i want to apologize to them and i want them to apologize to me and i don’t understand it but like i get it so well. like i still love them. this sucks so bad