#I WANT TO VISIT SO MANY PLACES
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wanting to travel but being visibly muslim is always weird
#I WANT TO VISIT SO MANY PLACES#the highest want to visit is IRELAND i need to be there so bad#theres so much stuff i wanna see there please#i think korea too i want to eat everything there#and a whole lot of other places like turkey thailand japan taiwan SINGAPORE 🤲🏽 and maybe india but 😒 since im bangladeshi lol#i wanna go back to bangladesh too but how thats gonna work after i inevitably marry my non bengali boyfriend 🥲 we’ll have to see but i miss#bangladeshi food so bad 🥲#most places are fine but idk like being a HIJABI and my bf being black and trans its like 🥲🥲#im not worried abt japn since bf is studying and speaking it but everywhere else 🫡#I WANT TO TRAVEL UWAH#mexico is on this list and i want to go back to qatar someday
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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Prompt 52
So I’ve seen several catboy Danny prompts, but hear me out: All of Amity becoming so ecto-contaminated that everyone becomes something akin to a mythological creature. And Danny? He becomes a Nekomata- a two-tailed cat that was said to be able to shapeshift into humans for mischief, including straight up haunting people and stealing corpses. Vlad ends up a kitsune- which is already associated with taking on human forms to seduce people and with things such as foxfire and possession. Tucker ends up a sphinx sort of creature- “It’s not fair you guys can just float around while I have to figure out how to use these stupid wings when I could be coding!”- and Sam ends up a dryad of some sort, they aren’t entirely sure what but that’s what they joke it is so…
The people sent to investigate this city are more than slightly freaking out.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#Everyone is freaking out#Except for Captain Marvel#he’s honestly living his best life. Maybe Billy should ask Tawny if he wants to visit…#I mean from an Outsider's pov they just stumbled across a city full of mythological beings#Including a nine-tailed kitsune which like those are at least a thousand#And the man doesn't look old at all! Late thirties to early fourties so who knows how old the elderly people in this place are!#Why is there so many auras of FUCKING GODS in this one city#And death magic#Um is that a giant time-naga?? Oh that's a primordial being of time visiting his nekomata grandson? Cool cool#A-and the giant? Also visiting alongside the yeti who is bringing stuff to the hospital#O-okay then-#Mythical City AU#Prompts#This could be a crossover with a lot of other things too if wanted
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SJ's internal changes (I recall it was the editor in chief, someone really influential) happening JUST at the same time it was announced the epilogue would be 5 chapters (same week) + the ending not bringing up huge plot points (where the other villains are, why theres no actual Himiko corpse and instead we got Ochako's grief over that assumption, what happened to Dabi, what was the All Might vestige, why the bkdk handhold was off screen when its a big deal for them, who is Deku's dad, etc), letting them linger in the air while trying to make an okay ending + that strange two week break because of "schedule conflicts" + choosing to end BNHA under even more pressure even tho its one of the most important manga in SJ + Horikoshi talking about the ending days after the official release and bringing up how grateful he is for being able to work in SJ, as in past tense (like he is grateful he worked here, but isnt happening again; I say this bc I expected him to say something around the lines of "I hope im able to create something good here again soon!", considering we already know he has another manga project, if I remember correctly)
Thinking about it.
Thinking about how he could let it as it is, or try to pick it up and confirm the things that do matter to his story.
Btw, im not talking about the handhold as a shipper -it was genuinely important for them, as it symbolizes both their new mutual understanding and an acceptance as the new All Might duo thanks to their respective heroisms. It wouldn't be weird to add it in the epilogue, especially considering so many characters hold hands in non romanitc ways, so to choose not to when its arguably the most important one... Idk, it felt really weird as it was the only thing I was sure would get sooner or later.
#grrr talking#I could picture him + his team deciding to not include so many things bc they dont want to waste them so quickly#i dont want to give hope to ppl who dont need it#but it felt weird to end it like that even if I can try to explain it away#the ending wasn't terrible but it skipped huge plot points#and I believe he wanted to explore them much better than 5 chapters#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#when he talked about being content with what he has drawn refers to the backstories of the OFA's users#literally in the same phrase he brings it up#plus he generally does that -he doesnt expand into everyone's backstories in the manga even if he knows the whole story#this isnt about making an open ending its about skipping big topics and themes on purpose#he could leave it as it is sure but if he wanted to actually write having more time and pages to work with#he could#again this isnt about backstories or explaining their world -its about themes he decided to skip like Dabi's and Himiko's fate#he directly didnt bring them up#he could have made the todoroki family visit a grave to finish his story but he didnt#he could have made Ochako bring flowers to a place implying thats were Himiko's corpse is but he didnt#he didnt close their stories#he implied spinner's but didnt close theirs#and the handhold it wasn't he secret he wanted to make them hold hands to symbolize the hero duo#so why not showing a small panel of it too instead of implying it?#shippers would eat it up dudebros would still see it as platonic and heroic
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Pheal, are you joining your dads on the US leg of the tour?
hi! thank you for your question. i'm not sure, they didn't take me this time around :/ but hopefully they will now!
i do miss the cuddles :'3
- pheal <3
#i would love to swim along in the US#i have so many places i want to see! i want to go to new york#and i want to see the florida man whoever he is#and i'd love to visit the sea lions in san francisco. i hear they are very similar to seals (:3 っ)っ#dan and phil#dnp#pheal#phandom#ask#answered#the pheal
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I feel like every US election I am forced to learn something new and stupidly exploitable by facists about how their voting system works.
Why the fuck do you need to sign your ballots? And what is the fucking point if you then also need to "cure" your ballot by calling up to confirm that yes actually that is your signature even if it doesn't exactly match the sample signature your state has for comparison because handwriting can fucking change for a multitude of reasons?
Literally only seems to be a thing for the purposes of making it possible to arbitrarily throw out however many votes the state wants to ensure they get their outcome. Which... does anyone really believe a country is a democracy if that can happen?
#chirping wren#us politics#america is a hellscape#its a shame the country has so many beautiful places to visit that i will just never see#because who tf wants to risk going to a place with such an overtly hostile and corrupt government?#best of luck to the people forced by fate to live there#i hope they have the persistence to make it more liveable for their great grandkids step by tiny step#best of luck to my own country and others like it that keep getting sucked deeper into the black hole that is diplomatic ties with america#i hope we have the persistence to fix our own problems instead of following the path america blazed
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I love the music this episode. So foreboding for the Demeter section, and then so light and charming for Mina.
Speaking of Mina, I love how she opens with Lucy "looking sweeter and lovelier than ever" - because obviously, Lucy looking sweet and lovely at all times is a given, she's just more so currently. ^_^ She has some lovely descriptions, reminiscent of Jonathan - she too is painting a word-picture for him to possibly read later. But it soon diverts into history and legend and spookiness, because of course it does, she enjoys that stuff. ...actually, graveyards being treated almost like public parks wasn't that uncommon at the time I think, but it's still fun and her interest in spooky stories is apparent elsewhere in the entry too. I love how Mina is planning to come back here and work often: it's that preparation for the future again. She's so eager to get started, and possibly in a little bit of the 'I'm going to get so much done this summer' phase, though I have way more faith in her ability to stick to the plan than my own. But she really is obviously excited to build up her skills (presumably working on typing and stenography) and I love how you can really feel her effort (and her enjoyment in the effort) to be like lady journalists here. All those descriptions and interviewing Mr. Swales...
Speaking of Mr. Swales, he sounds so sweet. Lovable grandpa acquired; well done Mina!
#dracula daily#mina murray#re: dracula#parallel with jonathan: they both visit a new place and immediately get adopted#i really do love mina's voice here <3#only downside is i can't help but notice the one failure in her attention to detail: she didn't count all the steps!#i like to imagine that on her way back to lucy's she does count them to herself. now that she's written down that she doesn't knkw how many#she wants to know how many#(can't remember if that's proved wrong by later entries so for now i shall believe it)#she gets back and smiles and greets lucy with ''412 steps!'' or whatever. and lucy knows her well enough to know the thought process#and just smiles and laughs#let me just have fun imagining them having fun
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I have gone to Cotlliure and sent the legend himself your regards as best I could!
+ bonus pictures of the walk to the cemetery and back to town because there was lots of interesting nature and views
#it was a bit awkward because it's still a fairly active and out-of-the-way cemetery so there were people there visiting their relatives#and i was fairly obviously Not From There so i didn't want to take too many pictures or be obnoxious#meanwhile machado's grave in the city center was covered in republicanas and no one would have blinked an eye if i went in there#but yeah. also my data wasn't working so i couldn't find his house and i forgot to visit his desk at the cultural center :(#overall still really interesting though and bonus went by all the places in ship of the line (llançà port vendres etc) on the train#it was also weirdly emotional being there. just kind of chilled for a while and felt for a moment like i was staring into his world#the views of the sea were incredible and the nature was lovely too. definitely An Experience#aubreyad#perce rambles#catalunya nord#The Creative Endeavor and other aubreyad nonsense
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.
#so ive been in a bad mental state lately#because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own#which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them#and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too#i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful#and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing#and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas#and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom#so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset#and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything#AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds#i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again#i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best#im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it#but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard#so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk#btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am#and im full of manic energy#tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room
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being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little
#like yea that is a very common basic thing that happens to a lot if not most adults#but also i think i get homesick a bit too easy#when i moved away from home i moved to the closest big city that's only an hour away and i was already deeply familiar with it#but i was so sad despite knowing i personally could never thrive in my hometown#i wanted to experience the big city but it was so scary and it still is and i miss the comforts of my hometown but it's not just me that#has changed#dont get me wrong i wouldnt move back bc i have hobbies and friends and a job and most likely a career in the city i live in#and this truly is a place i don't think i could ever move away from. unless it is to a neighboring city#it's so hard for me to imagine there are people who move not just across the country but a completely different country and they just. adap#i could never. i was visiting my hometown every week for like the first year i lived here#i eventually want to move to a bigger apartment and ive been looking at places already even tho i need to graduate before doing that#and i'm. getting homesick just thinking about moving to a different part of the city.#i like the area i live in. i like the cornerstore and the distance to the closest grocery stores and parks#i like how my grandma used to live in this area when she was around my age#i'm not good with change and i know it but there are several things about moving that make me miserable#like yeah obviously i will move out from my single bedroom apartment when i can and i'll be so happy and it'll be good for me#but despite having lived here for only a bit more than 4 years i'll miss this apartment. i have so many good memories from here and i'll#never be able to visit it again and have it feel the same#but that's the least sad thing imo. i dread being in a different area more lmao#but it's fine i know i'll adapt as long as i don't have to move to a different city ever again gfsahgak#idk ive had a long day and im feeling a bit melancholic#i'll sleep in tomorrow >:3c#leevi talks
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aaghh I hate health anxiety ocd (or whatever you call it), it's literally doing nothing other than contributing to make my health worse
... wait actually, does anyone have like, tips/advice for that kind of thing? I really think I need some help with this one
#i (ai)#ocd#vent cw#I also have like severe decision paralysis + procrastination issues so that's great#like. being so scared that i have to choose for something to eat that is nutritious&healthy AND affordable AND eatable#that i delay my eating by many hours every other day (+ combined with many other reasons like general awful schedule)#is not in fact the amazing health plan my instincts apparently think it is for some baffling reason. fucking hell#I consistently have all sorts of digestive system issues and I'm plenty underweight. tbh my adhd meds prob also dont help with this part#....on that note I have severe anxiety with spending money (which I have very little of) too. lmao. just great#during the lockdown years my contamination ocd spiked very badly and it still hadn't fully recovered now#and it was/is really godawful harmful for my physical and mental health alike. like this was worse before but even now it really screws wit#my hydration habits. also its always my top consideration/anxiety to think about 'god would the toilet hygiene be bad'#whenever theres any option for me to go anywhere. so I avoided nearly every possible activity/event/social event I could avoid#that require leaving home for half a day or more. and I freak out badly whenever anyone comes to our home to visit for fear of contaminatio#some family friends used to send kids over to our place for dinner montly-ish & that was always my worst anxiety source for the month#I always dreaded the night terribly and it was awful experience. urgh.#gdi I wish I had less types of ocds like why am I cursed with so many annoying things at once lmao#...anyway ugh. i hate how my parents is about me getting sick/ill/any sort of pains etc. always jump to blame me at once#now I don't even want to tell them about it but I have to and they'll often force me to do chores as usual and/or never stop talking about#how it's so totally my fault for having awful schedules and bad habits etc that I'm sick & that I'm making excuses or whatever the fuck#that i'm an adult its my responsibility etc etc#anyway sorry and thank you if you've read this far lmao
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the thought of Claret Orders blood hunter Molly/King is just so interesting to me, I really do wonder what would've happened if they found their way there after Lucien. I still hope Kingsley runs into the Orders one day--maybe after reading Beau's journal and wanting to learn more about his past. Maybe because he has questions about the whole blood magic thing.
And I think it would be good for him to meet Karem. He reminds me a bit of what Mollymauk saw in Gustav--though I could never see Karem selling others out to a demon the way Gustav did with Kylre. Someone who protects others from the monsters, who could have saved the circus and Kylre's other victims if he ever crossed paths with "Lucien" again. I wonder if Molly regrets not seeing the signs sooner, wishes he knew enough about being a blood hunter to end everything before Trostenwald, before more people got hurt--
And...the fact that Karem genuinely cared for Lucien--but was inevitably pushed away. Lucien who was hurt too much by his own family and everyone he ever trusted to put his faith in someone now. I wonder if he felt responsible when Lucien left the Orders and took Cree and Brevin with him, if he feels like he failed him somehow. I wonder if news ever reached Karem about Lucien's death, or if he still hopes his reckless student is alive. I think it'd give both him and King a lot of closure to meet, and that Karem would be happy to train him again if he wanted--
#i am once again struck by molly/kingsley claret orders thoughts--#i just love the blood hunter orders so much#and karem. kAREM!! he really does feel like lucien's version of gustav i think. except lucien pushed him away--#the irony of lucien thinking that karem was too good to be true. that he'd turn on him or betray him eventually. that he couldn't#possibly be a good person. lucien resenting him because of that#vs molly genuinely caring for gustav and never knowing that he willingly made a deal with kylre...my heart...#I still think about beau asking him in that final fight with lucien 'don't you want to see gustav again?' and I want that for king so badly#and I think it would be good for him to meet Karem too#and I have so many thoughts still about how kingsley feels about his blood hunter powers--about the scars he now covers--#I wonder if he'd ever try to get in contact with the orders on his trip to 'visit and learn'--going back to those places from his past#I wonder if karem thinks lucien is dead or if the orders are still trying to find him#I wonder if. being a ghostslayer. he would be able to tell that King had died before--
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Any londoners here / people who are familiar with the place? Just asking. for no particular reason
#making planssssss for the trip.......#ONE MONTH AWAY! (the show i mean. the trip starts a bit earlier. of course)#i ordered two more tmbg shirts for the occasion and i hope they arrive on time lol#i want to visit many MUSEUMS and RECORD STORES#and a bunch of iconic landmarks and stuff like that too ofc#in case there's any london-knowledgeable people here i am very open to any recommendations for places to check out and stuff like that!#but mostly i'm posting this just so that i can say ONE MONTH AWAY!!!! YAY!!!!#goosepost
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Ken just wanted to visit his sister...
So I was thinking how nice it would have been to have an episode where Ken visits Gwen at Friedkin. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised how utterly bizarre and bewildering that visit would be. Gwen and Kevin are showing Ken around and introducing him to people and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder, just imagine:
Because first up you've got Zed, Kevin's alien dog who used to be one of Ben's enemies. Then you've got Professor Hex who used to be one of Gwen's enemies.
Depending on what was supposed to happen after 'The Most Dangerous Game Show,' it's highly likely that Charmcaster is still at Friedkin, who of course was Gwen's number 1 enemy. If this was a couple months later, then maybe Gwen has succeeded in befriending her and helping her change her life for the better. Or if Charmcaster hasn't quite changed yet, then she'd either still be trapped in her bag, or possibly be allowed out of it for some freedom but with a spell on her to stop her using her magic so she couldn't harm anyone (like the spell Gwen put on Darkstar) and either way this is going to look majorly weird.
Then there's Professor Xagliv 'The Art History Professor of Death' who isn't actually an enemy, but was once mistaken for one of Ben's old enemies (Vilgax)
There's also Professor Aniceto from the drama department, who for some reason was stealing plutonium and ended up fighting Lucky Girl.
Ken: The eyes on that painting keep following me..
Kevin: Yeah they do that, don't stare at them too long or they might try to steal your soul
And Kevin's only half-joking because no ones really sure why the paintings do that and knowing Friedkin University it's possible they're actually haunted or cursed.
The guy who sells sandwiches isn't evil (as far as we know) but gives off a really ominous vibe.
They walk past a group of students and Ken asks his sister why some of them are wearing dark robes; "Are they part of a D&D club?" And they explain that no, actually they used to be part of a cult that worshiped this guy who's still Gwen's enemy (Darkstar)
Kevin: Don't worry, we beat him and he doesn't go here anymore. We don't really know what those kids do anymore but they haven't caused anymore trouble so it's cool I guess.
Ken: Wait that guy used to go here?
And they're walking around showing Ken the buildings and he points at one.
Ken: That looks new, is the University expanding?
Gwen: No that's just repair work from when Charmcaster sliced the building in half when we fought once. And that new archway over there was built after she destroyed the last one when she turned into a dragon.
Ken: ...
Kevin, grumbling: And over there is where she made my car vanish.
By the time they run into Bezel, Ken's just like "let me guess, he used to be one of your enemies too?" And Gwen tells him "actually, no! He is however the most powerful sorcerer in the universe." And right on cue, Bezel pulls out a deck of cards (that are clearly facing the wrong way) brandishes them at Ken, and gleefully asks him to pick one.
Other than the DNAlien incident, it's probably the weirdest visit Ken's ever done (but thankfully far less traumatizing)
#Ken doesn't know if he should be really impressed or highly concerned that Gwen is living among so many ex-enemies#Some kids play football as a hobby - Gwen collects old enemies and befriends them#No one tells Ken anything but imagine if they did#Ken just wanted to visit his sister and gets this mess thrown at him#Friedkin and the people that go there are such a chaotic mess and I love it - would 100% watch a Gwen show that took place there#This turned out really long whoops#ben 10#ben 10 omniverse#friedkin university#ken tennyson#kenneth tennyson#gwen tennyson#kevin levin#zed#hex#charmcaster#professor xagliv#professor aniceto#darkstar#michael morningstar#bezel
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I Need to go to Scotland
#and to so many other places. so so many#I have a whole list and I keep adding stuff and never going anywhere#because I'm incapable of conceiving of three days trips#although I should start because you can visit most capitals in four-five days if you take it slow#Prague for example#and I'm mostly talking about northern Europe here#but most of the places on my list are in eastern and southern europe#north africa but honestly so many places in Africa I'd love to visit#and south america of course#I need to travel around the north of Brasil first and foremost but I'd love to visit (at least some parts of) Chile and Bolivia as well#so much to see so little time#if only I was filthy rich#personal#and I'm getting doubts about my dream job too although I want to do it for at least a few years#oh and Georgia and Armenia
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