#I WANT JT TO BE OVER!!!
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Me, eating glass: only one more week
#cookie speaks#GODDDD#I WANT JT TO BE OVER!!!#tests tomorrow#two clinicals#one paper#itās doable#then I get my break#sigh#Iām getting TWO massages
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ä¹ęøøå | Wonderland to Love Ā° Liu Yuning as Mu Xianhe, E36-37
#ä¹ęøøå#Wonderland of Love#cdrama#Liu Yuning#character: mu xianhe#just a reclusive magician who happens to be a big foodie#i didnt gif the magic part bc it was too cheesy for me#meowmao gifs#jing tian and a producer jiejie skipped over to visit lyn on the zichuan set#and while jt got to meet her idol and snap a pic#tht jiejie asked him if he wanted to cameo xD
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Sometimes I remember that my whole house was so obsessed with the show Merlin, that we named the first tree we planted in the yard Merlin.
When it was given to us 11 years ago it was hardly a scraggly stick, and now it looks like a giant bush
Artist rendition
#this is the first year it has like!! actual bark!!!#only the middle/ main trunk#Iām so emotional over this tree you guys donāt even know#he wonāt stop growing branches on the bottom#so he just looks like a huge bush when leafed out#then another tree we planted the same year looks like a Maple Tree TM#I love all the trees in my yard#every day when itās warm enough I tell them all theyāre doing a great jobs#and one who burnt during a really hot summer didnāt grow for YEARS#but we didnāt give up on it#no sir#we cut off the burnt limb#we kept telling it that it was doing great#and last year!!! it finally started growing new twigs!!#it grew more than like 5 leaves!!!#and this year so far thereās already a LOT of growth!!!!!!#and one tree I got from a childhood best friend like 5 years ago has absolutely taken off#like holy hell#the tree was a sapling from the tree from her backyard#it was my favourite tree growing up#itās were we were kids together#guys no you donāt get it#we slowly fell out of friendship and then years later she texted me#āhey you know that one tree you used to love? do you want a sapling from jt otherwise my mom is throwing it in compost.ā#āshe thinks you donāt care about this tree anymore but I know you doā#*sobs*#Spoofy tambles
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hows my favorite lesbian celebrity?
TERRIBLE !!!!! my bdiy has been aching eberdya for some reason i am so in pain !!! to fistrcat myself from the pain i have started playing the piano again after teaching myself for about a week a few years ago .. i wsnt 5o rlesrn all of beitney spears somgs on piano thts my only goal
#yoire all LUCKY i am drawing art ... (i am doing this because i enjoy it and it makes me happy)#you should all be THANKING me for doing this everday .. (i choose to draw rveryday because i enjoy it and it makes me happy)#i want to buy a drum set and learn the drums but rhey are so exoensive#ehat do you MEAN jts over Ā£200 ??? for a goos drum kit ??#im POOR !!!
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completing the 2.2 trailblaze mission gives you new daily text messages from aventurine if you have him.. š„¹ so you're Not just left with his scheduled post-suicide-attempt farewells. and it's a really nice conversation too. he plays it off like a game buuuut he loses on purpose every time so really he's just opening up of his own volition
(i'm still alive, and i'm happy about that š„¹ his conversation with acheron really left a profound impact on him oh my godddd)
aventurine... of all people... reaching out and talking so honestly about what happened and how it affected him... and seeing a therapist of sorts (bit of an oversimplification but that's basically what the doctors of chaos do so like). sometimes all you need to start learning how to value your life again is to uhh ..literally get cut in half
#ALSO! MY AVENTURINE STELLE FRIENDSHIPISMS#they're real.#he trusts her quite a lot it would seem huh. despite everything#they have a chance to be friends for realsies now and he seems to actively want that and that makes me so happy#go dumpster diving with her kakavasha. you'll have fun#honkai star rail spoilers#I'M SO GLSD HE'S BACK FOR REAL BTW#i got so excited when i saw him in the fake-out and then he started talking about the ipc's deal and i was like ?#and realized jt wasn't real. and i was miserable#BUT THEN HE'S ACTUALLY FOR REAL BACK š„¹#thank you argenti (??????? god i wish that hadn't been off screen. i bet they had the funniest dynamic in the world)#i think once he and boothill get talking they'll get along. boothill's a pretty amenable guy even though he likes to say hello with his Gun#so that'll be fine#they have a lot in common after all. in terms of the ipc fucking them over forever#i wonder if there will be any other texts from aventurine... guess i'll find out in like 40 minutes when the day refreshes
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If anyone makes the argument in season 5 that Byler won't happen (bc they don't want it to) because Will has gotten over Mike so he doesn't reciprocate his feelings anymore, I will laugh my fucking ass off.
#i'm entertained now just thinking about it bc i can totally see jt#NO BUT THE TWO BOYS WON'T KISS SEE BECAUSE IT'S A ROMANTIC TRAGEDY ABOUT BAD TIMING#NO- NO- WILL GOT OVER MIKE BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SO MIKE HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM NOW BUT WILL DOESN'T ANYMORE#MAYBE HE LIKES *ANY RANDOM* BOY INSTEAD OR MAYBE HE WILL WE DON'T KNOW#(this is about the homophobes not the milkvans ftr)#but it's the fact that i can totally see it and read the desperation for queer people not to be hapoy#as many queer people as you want fine but they are required to be miserable#'vickie dies and will gets over mike s5' like the vividness with which i can picture this argument#just speaks to how stupid the arguments are now#stranger things#byler
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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Just saw a take saying that jason should have more parallels and similarities with joker and no. Just no. Don't give them ideas...
#like i dont deny it COULD be interesting#but dc would just use it as an excuse to villainize jason#and make him seem like a mass murdering psychopath with no empathy and compassion#(hello most post crisis rh!jason comics)#and also what does it serve???#and they said āand then have bruce look at jason and have his heart broken over the similarities jason has w jokerā LIKE?#why do you have to make EVERYTHING about bruce????#if you want to make jasons character more interesting or layered or whatever#WHY THE FUCK IS IT ABOUT BRUCE#this is why jason cant be written well#because everyone focuses on bruce and HIS feelings abt jason#which is the fucking problem :)))#and also what similarity would jason have w joker exactly?#laughing maniacally when a baby dies? be serious please#jason todd#going through the jt tag and having an aneurysm over the bad takes again#:)))
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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Shrimprat zine teaser <3
#blaseball#Rat Love#Shrimp Chocolate#Hades Tigers#Blaseball zine jam#ohohohohohoo you thought I was only going to make a JT zine???#this chocoholic zine is very vague and incoherent. I don't care look at them they're so cute#I'll link both zines on tumblr when the jam is over but I wanted to put this piece here on its own too <3 <3#you don't need to know anything about blaseball to enjoy looking at these cute girlies <3 <3 <3#art
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I often think abt this mutual I used 2 have and o the thing in The Office where they stare @ the camera
#Bouta rant abt them so if they donāt care keep scrollingāļø#But they just werenāt fun 2 text after a while and weāre both became so dependent of each other#I realized it wasnāt very normal and spaced myself a bit but they just got kinda desperate and I felt bad#But then it got kinda creepy#Like once they asked if I wanted 2 see them do inappropriate acts 2 themselves over a Discord call#Despite the fact that I am a guy in a happy relationship and they were a lesbian#So I just started to get uncomfortable#Then we just stopped talking one day#And I soft blocked them I cannot go through that again#I still get sick thinking abt jt#Victor Speaks#Vent
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i think everything and everyone is conspiring to keep me from trying to stop being a hermit
#julia.txt#i was ljke omg midterms over i can Go Places noe#turns out. i cant even go to the gym. because of insurance problems like there was a mixup with the papers#and my dad doesnt want me taking the car until its fixed šš#and i cant ask my parents to drive me bc theyre busy and i cant take the bus bc it would take me like an hour to get there hashtag suburbs#okay but this whole insurance thing is so. explodes#like apparently since both my parents work from home (my mom only goes to work jn person once a week)#and i go to work Twice a week#if my dad updates the insurance now and tells them i use jt to go to work twice a week#then id become the primary driver EVEN IF I DONT USE THE CAR THAT MUCH#but its only work that counts. and if i become the primary driver then our insurance fees double bc im younger š„š„š„#love it here forever
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hhrgrghr I dropped my ability to have fun and be whimsical when making ocs and it crawled away and hid somewhere. And I donāt know where it went. Pacing around in circles
#I havenāt had proper fun in making ocs in likee over a year I think IDEK#itās not like I donāt have ideas or even ideas I like because I do all the time#I literally canāt Stop creating ever#but Iām in this like TERRIBLE cycle of perfectionism#I have no clue how to stop taking story writing so damnn seriously#and also how to Let things be imperfect or dare I say bad#SHAKES RHE BARS OF MY CAGE. i want to have fun and play toys#this is just what hell is like#ITS BOTHERING ME SO BADDD#I feel all pretentious too I HATEE JT !!!!#me talking
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like yes i agree that the no killing rule (esp for batman) is thematically important and relevant and that people claiming that vigilantes should just kill villains and rogues dont get it but also consider:
how fucking boring would it be if batman (& the rest) had a gun and just shot everyone.
wowee i picked up the latest batman comic lets see how he solves this pickle!! gun. he uses his gun. his batgun. he goes there and he shoots the bad guy with his gun. repeat ad nauseam for 1000 issues. fun.
#which is why i think the JT revival should have been precisely that#hand JT over to vertigo -> make him a vigilante who kills#show how dark and terrible it really becomes#would he ever be able to come back from killing? i dont think so#not even from an insanity/psycopathy whatever aspect#even if he wanted redemption; could you ever go back once youve started solving your problems by blowing them up?#could he forgive himself if he didnt kill someone who went on to kill a thousand?#JT vertigo run could have been soooo cool and complex#plus everyone would be happy. whenever someones like ooooogghhyuhg why doesnt batman kill#you point them to JT and go there is a comic for you friend!
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btw these are all the people I had enough pictures of him with that I felt justified making an album so if u ever have specific requests I WILL post whatever theme u want with whoever you want
#love how this ranges from like. 9 w JT (wanted to store them in an album bc some of them are funny to me)#vs. over 200 with becks (theyre insane)#had a seperate folder for giggsy bc some of the photos i like gary in them but giggsys face is just so punchable i HATE him
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WHAT A YEAR ONE MONTH AND FOUR DAYS DOES TO A MOTHERFUCKER this is actually crazy
AND
LET ME BE FREE OF AMAA
#got more smiley apparently#iāve wanted to redraw one of my beginner arts for a while now and finally picked my ass up#OKAY LET ME BRAG A BIT FIRST OKAY#THERES SUCH A DIFFERENCE LOOK AT IT ITS ONLY BEEN A YEAR#JAN 11 2023#I WAS DEAD FACED IN THE OG ONE CAUSE I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DRAW SMILES AND LOOK AT JT NOW#I LEARNED HOW TO DO FACE SHAPES#EYES#HOODIES AMD SHAPES OVERALL#FUNKY ASS JELLYFISH HAT#LEARNED HOW TO COLOR#AND IM DRAWING EYEBROWS NOW š WHAT WAS I DOING#AND YOU CAN SEE SOME THINGS I RETAINED LIKE THE SLEEVE CREASES#and my haircut ive had the same haircut for three years#in the og post i said i was proud of myself but NOWW iām proud of myself idc#now i just need to get over the same face and 3/4 syndrome#if you donāt know what amaa is donāt worry about it its targeted to very specific people#jellos scribbles#imnot tagging him
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