#i just need to fix myself a bit
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brothers I am stacked with work but I can't for the life of me do any of it. I just had to look for pictures on pinterest but I gave up and fell asleep 🥲
#the solution would be to skip school but I end up just not doing anything even then#I literally feel paralysed lateky#my mind wants to do everything#instead I just lay in bed and scroll social media#but its gotten to a point where i come on tumblr and i just scroll the same posts over and over bc it doesnt even matter what im looking at#i just dont wwnt to think or feel anything and if my hands are occupied my mind is too#and my mind is just so busy lately i find it hard to listen to music too#i keep on restarting the songs bc i constantly zone out#but i keep on zoning out xd#its no good#I love bttt#but i feel like the fantasy wolrd i created around them is crumbling slowly and im being faced w. reality and idk what to do#i want to stay happy with my bros and i will but#ye whatever i will#i just need to fix myself a bit#but idk how to bc skipping school doesnt help going to school makes jt worse#whatever i just go to sleep🥰#or ill stay awake and watch some bt tours#and then ill do this task in the morning#procrastinating pissing rn brb
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thinking about how dean's hair got darker and he got paler from skipping missions + how probably the most he smiled was when hank was telling him abt those
#vbros#the venture brothers#venture bros#dean venture#hank venture#byron orpheus#pete white#rusty venture#admin draws#fanart#the ones in the bottom are olllddd i was waiting to continue my rewatch and draw more and its been like a month since those#the other ones i just finished rn lol#shocked i havent drawn orpheus yet and he was a bit of a rough adn tumble but i got him quick enough#while listening to a video essay about buffy#ive been telling myself i need to draw 21 soon and im just as intimidated so . we'll see how i fare if i dare#squarish guys are hard for me to draw its why i dont draw brock alot lmao#FML I MESSED UP THE NAMES IN THE CAPTION. ITS 1 AM#if anyone sees that 1 rb that got in before i realized and fixed it. no you dont i mean didnt
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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dipping my foot into the fandom with some outfits for they :)
#batman#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#ough posting arts everyones favorite and hitting it off with such bangers as contextless lineups :thumbsups: i have to force myself to actu#tully draw them someonhow. otherwise id just imagine drawing them for the 100000ths time. its fun tho :))#(nno you cant totally tell its my first time drawing them)#anyhow just some notes cause i like sharing!#forever torn about casses clothes because i am at war with if shed only wear practical clothing with no excees clothing to always be prepar#d for a fight or to go with more comfy clothes because shes finally free and settling in with the reality that she dosent always need to fi#ht#stephs a bit to pastel but i think she should get to have fun she needs it my babygirl is unwell probably but im sure a cute shirt and funk#bracelets will fix her#also please apprictae tims shitty tshirt its so silly to me#also yes skating protective gear and while i think he also wouldnt use them its also so funny to me so like fight me you know#anyhow!#the giirrrllllsss (plus tim)
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I hope this isn't weird but I've been reading this by @batmanisagatewaydrug and I had like the sudden, strongest urge to make art properly for the first time in ages, so uhhhh have some Jessie (or Jess? Can I call her Jess because I love her?) who is a terrible wet cat of a woman!
I wanted to get this done fast and human anatomy is not my forte so I traced a picture of Natalie in the City, who's a fashion blogger and has some cute fits, though no supervillain ones as far as I'm aware :3
#ham art#i think jessie lies wetly fixed my art block?#after i started this it motivated me to finish off a little comic that's been in my drafts forever and post it and i've got anime fanart#rotating in my mind now! :D maybe i'll even finish off my valentine's unburied art from last year#also i know the tiny underboob window's wrong because she wears a bra that would render that salacious little bit of skin invisible#but i just could not resist#i hope i've done her justice!#jessie is the coolest and awfulest and i love her she's so fun to read thank u op#also i've come to the realization that if i'm just having fun drawing i don't actually have to do the parts that aren't fun i can skip that#if i find drawing human proportions and perspective in general stressful and just wanted to do the fun outfits and face/makeup and hair#i can do that! this is like. a hobby. so i don't need to laboriously force myself to get better at anatomy if i don't wanna#also also i was so pleased that i guessed ricochet's colouring correctly on the first try! (except i missed the freckles)
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will be cosplaying saiki for halloween!! this will prob be the outfit i just drew the picture so u have an idea as to to what it’ll look like together ^^
#hair is pink rn just a bit grown out so i don’t have to dye it#only thing is i have rlly bad eyesight so i wont be able to wear the fake green glasses a lot mostly for pictures#i made the pins myself last year (when i also dressed up as saiki)#i just need to fix them up for this one#very excited!!!#im not sure if ill post any pictures so this will be it for now 🫡#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#amndees
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"Did I ever tell you about my Omega casino run in with the Blue Suns, Eclipse, and the Blood Pack Vorcha mafia? Five thousand credits and a bottle of whiskey?"
Ft. Staff Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko, Operations Chief Ashley Williams, Zaeed Massani, & Seven. Dominik Shepard. Phoebus. MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1.5 "Are you Phoebus?" AKA: Pt. 1 of some of what happens between ME1 and ME2 with the Vorcha mafia storyline. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#dominik shepard#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#zaeed massani#mass effect#morecanonmasseffect#mass effect legendary edition#me#dailygaming#tw: gore#hi my name is mira and i like making very large gifsets of my blorbos :)#i made myself a little bit sad thinking of what the gang was getting up to when soph is dead during me1 and me2 but VORCHA MAFIA BABY#this is close enough to something i was working through in my noggin lmao#i think kaidan gets word from hackett that something went to shit out on omega with soph being out of the shade game#he ropes ash into it and zaeed takes leave from his n7 adjunct position on earth to come help too when he hears it’s vorcha mafia related :#as for sad times in my head i decided that zaeed is the one who goes to alchera and grabs all of soph’s guns when the normandy goes down :)#they’re all busted to shit so he takes all the time to fix them and remod them like she would have :) and he keeps her cobra :)#since she almost killed him with it when they first met :) he gives her widow to kaidan :) it’s the one he uses in the gifs :)#and he gives ash her valkyrie which is the one she picked up and started modding after he got dropped off at the villa to be with regis :)#i thought it would be fun if dom showed up to protect them after separating from cerbie but no one *knows* it’s dom :)#since he’s using an alias atp and he wants to protect them for soph since he’s starting to remember shit and that’s all he can do for her :#in my noggin he’s either wearing a mask or never takes his helmet off since they’re identical but i was not fucking with that in game lmao#i also think zaeed is the one who catches onto him and leads the rest of the group toward him with his contacts he still has on station :)#i think dom is tracking the vorcha mafia. part of me says everything just clicks into place right after he gives soph’s body to cerbie#and then everything rushes back at once for him and he heads to omega to start picking up where she left off before she was on the normandy#he honestly might be what hackett gives kaidan the heads up about. undecided. i’m still noodling :) but this was fun to conceptualize :)#i’m excited to pen this in the future! :) it needs more noodling :) for everyone honestly lol#my one final thought is that i do think kaidan picks up some of soph’s anger habits after she dies. i don’t think he does well at first#have a good day wherever you are friend as always!! 💙💙
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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2023 United States Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso
#making these as cope for the mental damage i received today#I HATE THIS OLD MAN!! STOP MAKING ME SAD!!!#and also stop looking so fucking sexy while you're depressed god damn#ASTONNNNNN FIX YOUR CAR!!!!#my fav moment of this wknd actutally was when my dad(known fernando stan) texted me after quali:#'they brought upgrades? more like fucking downgrades.'#im havinf fun dw!!! it just sucks a lot that my guy isnt doing well :(#killing myself out in the heat and my guy isnt even in the top 10 UGHHHHHHHHH#also guys the america hat is so ugly and expensive...but i kinda want it...should i buy it#i need to buy some nando or osc merch to feel fufilled this wknd hahaha so lmk :)#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2023 us gp#2023 us grand prix#2023 united states grand prix#223 united states gp#fa14#we do a little bit of f1
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✨Introduction✨
Deciding to add some information as well as update this a bit as it’s a tad outdated! (Update part 11, updated fandom list (your welcome torch /silly)
💜 Some starter info!
• I go by (in order of preference): Cro/Mossy.Paws (or just Mossy)/Marine/Ocean; and if I know you in real life, you can call me Sea!
• I am an Aceflux potential-lesbian! I also use Any pronouns!
Current Fandoms/interest’s list: Phighting!, Neon Genesis Evangelion, SOMA (2015), Transformers, The Mandela Catalogue, Vocaloid, The Magnus Archives, regretevator, lethal company, little nightmares, Hollow knight, rainworld, Spider-Man, Warrior cats, life series, PRESSURE, Dungeon Meshi, Parkour civilization, Just Shapes And Beats, ULTRAKILL, project moon games, limbus company etc. (If you ask me or talk to me about any of these I will cry tears of joy /silly) (these aren’t listed from most to least interested also! I love all of these equally)
minor (14-17 age range)
Comms: Open for discord nitro and robux! (DM me here or at ^-Mossy.Paws-^ on discord for extra information!)
Asks: Open (read below for permissions)
Instagram: The_OceanCat
Twitter: Mossypawsss
Pinterest: Mossy.Paws (Important note: I rarely post to Pinterest, I only post on Pinterest to avoid my art getting stolen.)
Strawpage, just if you wanna send me any fun doodles and stuff :3!, it will be updated later! https://mossypawssspage.straw.page
Artfight link: https://artfight.net/~Mossy-Paw
Feel free to use my art for profiles and or banners! It’s a little preferred that you ask first via dm’s/comments/reblog’s but honestly I don’t mind :DD! Just make sure to credit me if you do! It’ll make my day for sure ^^!
I have tags I use now! :DD! Here they are
#Cro chatter (used mainly for when I’m just chatting/reblogging stuff/etc)
#Friend art (used when reblogging stuff by close friends)
#Phighting! Magnus Archives au (This Tag is used for my most recent Wip of a crossover Au or TMA x PHIGHTING! Currently on major hiatus as I must focus on other interests and personal life.)
Any art tags or fandom related tags explain themself ! I also use #Not my art a lot as well!
• I only have like one irl friend who follows me on here and most likely you have seen her harass me in my reblog’s or askbox,,, please ignore our shenanigans we are not normal /silly /love ya Rosa 💖
• An important note: I do not have a reblog only account, this is my only account, and its used for pretty much everything (My art, reblog’s, talking, etc, if you would prefer to only see art I recommend blocking the #Cro Chatter tag as I attach it to all of my askbox replies (minus requests)
‼️Commission Info:‼️
✨ My commission’s are OPEN!
��� I take payment in form of Discord Nitro (NOT BASIC), and Robux!
• If interested, please dm me for prices, questions, and more! I’ll be sure to give you a full rundown of what I can draw, my rules, etc!
• Please figure out what you would like in full detail BEFORE contacting me. Any extras or whatnot that may be concerns/curiosities/or whatever though I am happy to answer questions or inquire about!
• If you are unsure but have a basic idea, I can also help you out with that as well!
My commission carrd: (Only covers prices for Robux comms!)
✨ My Askbox (OPEN)
✅Open ❌Closed ❎Tentative
✅/❎ Requests (This really just depends on what the ask is about, if it’s for my aus then it’s most likely a yes, if it’s just a misc art request or what not then it’s a 50/50). I am unfortunately pretty wrapped up in personal art most of the time, but I will try to answer an art request every once in awhile here.
❎/✅Talk to me
✅✅Ask about my Oc’s/Au’s/etc (always yes with this one I will be INCREDIBLY happy!)
✅Ask about my HCs
❌OC Requests (Usually no)
❄️ Read Before Asking
I'll delete asks I'm uncomfortable with.
NO nsfw or suggestive, you’ll be blocked and reported as I am a minor with no tolerance for that.
Requests will open and close as needed, and I will let you know when they open again!
I will try to get to every request, but it may take it a bit since I’m a full time student who has a life outside of art and social media lol
Some asks I may take longer to respond to than others (sorry to the poor soul who asked for a sleepy catshot doodle back in fucking DECEMBER 2023 you’ll get your catshot soon I swear 😭)
‼️Disclaimers
Do not steal, trace, copy, or claim my art to be yours, certain things like designs for canon characters and stuff I’m fine with you taking inspiration from (!!ASK FIRST!!), or using with credit (a small note, I am completely fine with you using my designs as long as you credit me! If anything, I appreciate it very much that people like them enough to do so :3!)
Proshippers, homo/transphobes, mean or generally gross people DNI‼️ it’s also preferred that if you have NSFW/highly suggestive stuff/or fetish content on your account that you don’t follow me, as I tend to check the profiles of people who follow me and I don’t want to see that (I would also prefer my parents do not see that if they were to ever check my account LOL)
Please don't make highly suggestive or NSFW comments towards me, my oc’s, or characters, you’ll be blocked if you do so; I am relatively alright with very minor and safe suggestive stuff from friends, but even then if it’s art related, please confirm if it’s alright with me. Very close friends get a slight pass with this as long as it’s in good fun and safe, but if pushed I will not tolerate it and will give you a warning.
I’m still learning how to use this website so please be polite and patient with me :’>
If you draw fanart of my OCs, AUs, or Headcanons, please tag me!! I absolutely love to see fanart and it makes my day! :DD!
‼️Important note: my blog will sometimes contain art that has blood, gore, violence, bright colors, horror media, etc. These WILL be put under spoiler tags though, but a lot of the older ones are not, so please be careful! (A note, I don’t tend to draw stuff like that too often unless you count my TMA au, so no need to worry about it too much!)‼️
⭐️ Extra information about me
• I am a young minor with diagnosed autism, adhd, and ocd, I also have slight social anxiety, so please, PLEASE be patient with me, as I can have trouble communicating, understanding things, or coming up with responses
• Never be afraid to approach me about anything, although I’m a bit nervous talking to new people, I adore making new friends, just please don’t be weird, if you make me outright uncomfortable I will most likely block you.
• For fanart and such, feel free to contact me about it if you need ideas, permissions, reference images, or need to know anything important!
• I’m a full time school student and can be relatively busy, I also have notifications off on all platforms, so I may be slow to respond if you dm me or try to contact me.
• I’m a huge nerd and absolutely love talking about my interests, but if I ever get too excited or overbearing, never be afraid to just tell me to take a chill pill or calm down, I can promise you I will not be angry! Communication is key with me since I can have issues understanding others, if I’m ever too much to handle, just say it! I’ll greatly appreciate it as it helps me to grow and be a better person ^^!
• If you talk to me about my interests I will be the happiest soul alive, I am INSANE about my hyperfixations and love love LOVEEEE talking about them
Here’s the link to my Carrd!
(it also includes commission rules and such!)
#blog intro#intro post#introducing myself#Art#my art#artists on tumblr#oc artwork#introduction#introductory post#pinned intro#pinned post#open commissions#commission#commission info#Update numba 9!#Once again updating this thing at like 1 in the morning lmfao#updated my hyperfixation list/fixed any small mistakes/changed up some stuff/etc etc!#Not the BIGGEST of updates but eh I’ve been needing this for a bit LMAO#Anyways guess who’s been getting into NGE lately. MEEEEEEE expect some art for that soon!#Most specifically I’m making a few EVA Shimeji’s (Kaworu will be posted first and then I’ll be doing Rei and Shinji Next)#Asuka may or may not be getting one it just depends on how much time I have#oh also I watched both venom movies and transformers one today so expect MAYBE some art for that but it’s a 50/50 and depends on my schedul#aka I really wanna draw symbiote Avery o’adam’s again…..#ANYWAYS it’s late on a school night I gotta go to sleep#NINIIIII
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quick photo studies before bed (1h 50m). 📸-> scott lesh
#wrestling#ref studies#i needed to trick myself into focusing on something besides ''the horrors'' for a bit -_-#ohhhh theres still so many things to fix... but no. i put it down. its bedtime. i concede#while formatting this post i tabbed back into csp for 10 more mins to adjust swerve's elbow in the first image#and i prolly need to do that in the second one too...#always surprised at how irl forearms and legs are thinner than i expect them to be#clearly i draw too many stout cartoons#hmmgngnhh... it is rough art and just a photostudy... maybe i wont put it in their tags...
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when characters have poofy messy but otherwise straight hair, i like to headcanon that their hair is actually naturally wavy/curly and they just don't know how to/don't care to take proper care of it. bc irl that is often the case (speaking from personal experience)
#eliot posts#*looks back at my younger self who didn't know their hair was wavy just thought it was Bad*#i was fuckin. walking around with hair poofed up like a mix between a founding father and a startled cat#and with a halo of frizz at all times#older relatives would call it nappy or ratty and suggest i cut it off or get a relaxer treatment done on it#(sidenote a bit ago i learned that apparently ''nappy'' is usually a racialized term tho i myself am white)#fascinating that they knew that straightening treatments would ''fix'' my hair but did not actually know my hair was wavy#i wore my hair real long back then too so it was constantly tangled lol#memories of being a kid and my dad having to basically corner me to brush my hair in the morning before school#my mother would bitch about my hair being too long when i was a kid and sometimes TRICK ME into getting it cut shoulder length#but then when i was an older teen and wanted it cut real short she FORBADE ME from going any shorter than a bob???#so i just left it super long til i moved out and then chopped it all off and sold it to a wigmaker for a $300 profit lmao#now that it's short tho the wave pattern is very minimal#part bc of the way i style it part bc it's just a 2b wave pattern so you need a bit of length before the waves start getting really defined#anyway like. looks at catra and eda. let me get u some good conditioner and a wide toothed comb bby
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10am
me: oh boy i sure hope i can start gigging this holiday season, but i don't know very many people so i don't know how!
2pm
my violinist friend's teacher: hey iris are you available to do a gig in my church this weekend?
me: oh fuck yeah
#hopefully this will lead to More Stuff#idk i need to Get Networking but i also need to fix whatever problem i have w facebook (my account got blocked#for 'violating guidelines' approximately two seconds after i made it and then i appealed and IT DENIED ME????)#idk my friends said facebook is where you get all the 'old people gigs' (their words) but fuck that until i fix this ig#i guess i could do more stuff on instagram but i haven't done much at all yet and dont have many#if any videos of performances i feel comfortable and confident sharing / using to advertise myself...#im taking music business next semester idk how much that will help but its three fucking hour class so hopefully at least#a bit lol#and now doing this that's people who will Know me right so hopefully they will call me back at some point#i just am not sure how to find people who need violists!!!!!!!!#i should my TA for help tbh. why didn't that occur to me sooner she's literally like the most wonderful and helpful person#on the planet#i will email her in the morning ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼#bluebird.txt
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fic where Bobby, for some reason, becomes a demon and it's like a fucked up version of that scene from twilight breaking dawn where Crowley is watching him figure out how to do cool demon shit.
and later, Crowley calls up the boys to reintroduce them to "Robert."
and Dean's like "Who the hell is Robert?"
and Bobby steps forward in whatever vessel he's gotten himself and says "What, you idjits don't recognize me?"
and Sam and Dean are too shocked to say anything.
#and then later they fix him or whatever idk#i just think bobby should get to be cool and sexy and evil for a while#(i mean he's already cool and sexy but the evil bit would make him even more so)#i might actually write this?#but i feel like first i need to rewatch the show and refamiliarize myself with the lore so i know exactly what i'm flagrantly disregarding#crobby#crowley#bobby singer#spn#supernatural#fanfic ideas
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FINALLY
#coil#this is the final stretch unironically. all of the writing in this chapter has ultimately been about getting up to this point#this initial ending of my thoughts that i was going to do in chapter 2#also sayori's back yayyyy!#i have a catastrophic amount of editing of the parts leading up here to do because i did cut some corners here and there#and do want my quality to be consistent and to be able to make it all work#but i finally found my transitioning point#and just need to fix it all up#then i can finally just bring it home by writing additional dialogue#which will still take a while. but it finally looks like i'll be able to finish this project before the year ends#i'll probably take a small break after. or i'll throw myself head first into something else#i'll actually probably finish some other pieces of content i've wanted to make before i finish coil#but i finally got to the stopping point i've been trying to reach for weeks#things are moving along! yippeeeeee#i'll be doing a full read through again to really make sure all the quality is up to standard and that it all flows but you know how it is#i have a few other things i want to focus on finishing before the year ends on top of this so that'll be something else on the burners#but the rest of this should be a whole lot smoother from here#i want to let myself flourish for these bits so i feel proud and accomplished and good about finishing this finally#but this has involved a lot of bashing my head against a wall so inevitably that will take time as i cool myself back down#beta reading will happen soonish.
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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