#I WAKE UP TO PIANO BOSS MUSIC LIKE NO

[luna-loveboop]

Fun fact: If you listen to classical Zelda music while you sleep, it is possible to have vivid nightmares of the gloom hands

[yourdreamysalamander]

Dream title: "Jump into the fire" Oct 11 '24 I am on a tour bus with Chris Cornell. The singer that passed away a few years ago at the age of 52. The only reason I am getting that hunch is that he has a very unique face and eyes that's hard to miss as a fan of his. He influenced my mantra I posted on here a few days ago. I feel like I am not at the social status to hang out with him. But anyhow, we are at a top bunk bed on the tour bus and he puts his left arm around me in a friendly manner. He smiles as he holds the remote control in his right hand watching the TV. Scene switches I see him step up to a piano and start playing. I see the piano and it's piano keys play. It's more of the electronic kind than the sturdy wooden heavy kind. I am wondering to myself does Chris Cornell play the piano? He then just stands up right in time. He's giving off a very somber look. His eyes are lit and piercing. Scene changes, He pours himself a soda can. I am no longer chillin on the top bunk and standing next to a few people. It seems there is a gather of people in the background but I can't make them out. There is a blonde woman in her mid 50's talking to another person and I feel invited to eavesdrop on the conversation. Everyone is friendly and in a good mood. I am getting that feeling again of my social status not at the level of these giants. She has a straight haired pony tail held up with a black hair tie and mentioned "Harrys son". I knew a kid named Harry in high school. That's about it. I wake up.

Reflection: Wow, that's cool to dream about Chris Cornell. Like I said before the mantra I wrote a few days was influenced by him. "I am the highway". I was intrigued by his piano playing and did some googling. Chris Cornell does play the piano! Even from a young age! Never knew that. i don't think I've heard any songs of him on the piano. I tried to understand "Harrys son." I did a quick google. Chris Cornell covered a song called "Jump into the fire" by Harry Nilsson. I've never heard of the man and interestingly enough we share the same childhood growing up in Brooklyn, New York and even the same earlier profession. He also passed away at the age of 52. I am always trying to find new music to listen to. I listened to a few songs of Harry's. Jump into the fire is quite good, unhinged and psychedelic. I love it. He has a few songs on the piano. Thank's for the recommendation blonde lady :). I wonder if there is more significance to this dream for myself? I am in transitions in my job search and I am having ideas running my own business within the next couple of years to be my own boss. Nothing musically related tho. At least not yet. I stopped abusing alcohol that Chris Cornell suffered from and perhaps that's where the comradeship is coming from. The soda in the dream is inspiring. Thanks for the invite, Chris! Appreciated! I need to spend a day to listen to all of Harry Nilsson's catalogue!

[night-heron-writes]

Buddy Daddies & Music: Recap Episode

So the recap episode didn’t bring anything new plotwise, but it did give me plenty to dig into with the music.

Most of Kazuki’s first narration section, up to the title card, has background music that feels almost reminicsent of a circus or an arcade game, probably to highlight exactly how unprepared he and Rei were to look after a kid. The bright chords and fast tempo also serve to highlight the feeling of being rushed and overwhelmed. The failed hit job from episode 2 is accompanied by the usual action jazz, not really anything new there. Kazuki’s meeting with Miri’s mom keeps it’s soundtrack from episode 3, with Misaki singing her song, and a melancholy piano version playing during their conversation. Interestingly enough, the clarinet and piano theme I identified earlier in the series, “Miri’s Family”, doesn’t play once during Kazuki’s first narration section, not even in places where it plays in the original episodes, like the “For three?” “For three.” dialogue.

However, “Miri’s Family” does play in Rei’s narration section, right after he decides that yes, he can be a Papa to Miri. This is exactly where it plays in Episode 3, but I find it interesting that Rei’s section keeps it and Kazuki’s doesn’t. I suppose it’s meant to highlight how significant this is for Rei and how much this will change their family dynamic. This time, it continues through the scene of all three of them having a sleepover.

Miri’s disaster montage keeps its original music. We get light jazz playing throughout the scenes where Rei and Kazuki are getting Miri ready for daycare. The arrival at Aozora daycare keeps its original music as well. The scenes with Miri and her friends sharing lunch as well as the fight with disguised!KazuRei and the criminal also keep their original music. Miri and Kazuki’s resolution also keeps its original trumpet- and flute-heavy soundtrack.

What almost sounds like a lullaby played on a celesta (music-box sounding instrument, also sometimes called a bell piano) plays while Rei and Miri discover Kazuki’s note, maybe to emphasize how childishly they’ve been behaving lately? Or perhaps to indicate a kind of wake-up call for Rei?

Kazuki’s flashback to Yuzuko’s death also retains its soundtrack, and so does his conversation with Karin.

Unsurprisingly, we keep the basson for Rei’s conversation with his boss. That man is creepy as hell and they’ve already got a good instrument for him, so why change it?

Most surprising to me was that “Miri’s Family” starts playing right after Rei kills his mentor, while he’s thinking on the dock, and continues until Kazuki picks him up. That was not what played there during Episode 8, and that seems pretty significant. It means that Rei thinks that what just happened means something for their family, and he’s just come to some sort of big revelation about it. Sadly we don’t get to find out what he thinks is important or why, since the show cuts him off right then in the form of Kazuki.

Can’t wait to see what the next episode brings and if my predictions still hold true, since this recap hasn’t really shown us much new in terms of plot. See you when the trailer drops!

[yuuana]

Music Monday #255: ATEEZ - Ice On My Teeth release: November 2024 genre: Kpop cw: flashing, surrealism, arson, mafia

Yeah, I'm still not fully back on track with posting things, but hey, it's ATEEZ, we knew I was going to have to feature them on here sooner or later, right? (I'll get around to their second BE:FIRST collab at some point. Probably)

(full review under Read More)

I'll be honest, when they first revealed Golden Hour part 2's title track, I was both wary and confused. It's the sort of title I would expect from NCT 127 (and oh the irony there, put a pin in that) or even Stray Kids, especially in a collab with a Western pop artist (yeah, stick a pin in that, too), which this showed no signs of being. It's not entirely in line with their previous A titles, stylistically, and other than knowing it was going to be amazing (because ATEEZ's title tracks are always amazing), I really didn't know what to expect. A danceable beat was almost a given, but other than that ... what would be the sound? The story? How would it fit with the A-line lore? Would it fit with A-verse or were we going back to Z-verse already? Or some secret third thing?? So many questions, but 2024 has been the year of questions and surprises and the lore going in interesting directions, so of course Ice On My Teeth (hereafter IOMT) continues that trend.

If you're a fan of deep bass dance beats, IOMT starts off strong all right. And upon first listen, wife and I agreed this was less pirate pop and more fungus pop (yeah, that NCT pin? We're back to that now) - we reached the end of that first song and had a very "well ... that was a song all right" feeling (see also NCT 127 A-titles such as Simon Says, Ay-Yo, Sticker). A few more listens and it really started to grow on me, ridiculous chorus lyrics and all. A fun performance number with enough options for three levels of dance challenge (a trend some of us ATINY are thrilled to see after years of other groups being straight up terrified of ATEEZ choreos). Not every day you hear that level of strings in a dance pop song, but of course the fiddle is a perfect choice for a bunch of pirates! And as for the vocal tone, this was a song ATEEZ couldn't have taken on until everyone's voice had fully developed, the way it takes advantage of the lower ends of everyone's registers.

Lyrically speaking, there's an argument to be made that Golden Hour part 2, like part 1, leans in a more meta direction - IOMT, like Work before it, feels like it's speaking more to ATEEZ-the-idols than Heroteez's ongoing story. One could easily apply that same meta lens to the rest of the EP, but especially Enough. Ironically, Man on Fire, a track brought to Edenary in collaboration with an American pop production team, might be the most easily applied to the lore ... and now that I've said that, a part of me really wants to see what might have done for a Man on Fire lore-centered music video.

Speaking of the lore.... SO yeah, this video is wild and I'm still piecing my way through my own impressions. That said, it feels like the two options are a dreamscape (something we've seen before) or yet another A-cluster team. Mingi as some sort of mafia boss is entirely believable, really. The last definitive A-verse view on Hero!Mingi was Youth, reaffirming he came from a broken, abusive home. The sort of environment that can and does push desperate teens into organized crime. Time is fluid, there's nothing saying how far into that troubled teen's future this Golden Hour mansion/hotel/whatever might be.

On the other hand, the supporting cast gives most of the scenes a very surreal feel that could point to a dream world argument with ease. Ballet dancers in ski masks? Furniture strung up on piano wire? The talking busts? Yeah, none of that is reality, so why not be a dream? Work, after all, had an even more surreal dream-like feel and neither have any explicit waking up scenes, unlike the last time we had a dreamscape MV (Illusion), so why not still be dreaming?

And then there's the chess motif that's right there, impossible to ignore. And maybe too easy to apply to the final shot - our twin towers (Yunho and Mingi) as queen's side and king's side rooks (towers/castles) respectively, the Choi "brothers" San and Jongho as knights, Wooyoung and Yeosang as king and queen's bishops, and of course Hongjoong as Pirate King and Seonghwa as Pirate Queen ... it fits the lore almost too well. What does it mean? Well, we're still chewing on that ... and probably need yet more context, to be honest. Until then, I'll keep getting IOMT stuck in my head at random ... and keep crying over Enough.

GOLDEN HOUR pt 2 is available now wherever you stream and purchase your Kpop, including major retailers who feed their sales data to Circle, Oricon, and Billboard (domestic and global) charts. ATEEZ are further set to resume touring, this next leg in Europe, starting mid January.

As a footnote... I'd mentioned yesterday we were still in fundraising mode to pay to have the hurricane damage fixed, that updated post is here.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

for the one-word prompt thing, may i request piano (romantic) with malleus and azul? tysm 🤍

Brevity is the Soul of Wit.

You had known Malleus to be gifted with string instruments but hadn’t been expecting that talent to extend to the piano. There seemed to be nothing that he couldn’t do with his magical fingers. Conjuring lightning storms, setting a field abloom, even creating wonderful music.

“Though this skillset is not quite as critical as knowing how to navigate the web of politics, it provides a brief distraction from the world. Fufu. Rejoice, child of man, and allow yourself this one moment of respite.”

He looms over the ivory keys like some dark lord—an apt description based solely on his reputation—milky fingers poised over black and white teeth. A deep breath, then he allows himself to fall upon the piano.

Thunder and lightning come crashing into the earth.

The sound he produces is deep and rumbling, the elements of nature all colliding against one another for a monstrous effect. Wind waking, spirits shattering. Every stroke powerful, weaving a song that is an overwhelming spell.

Ominous, constricting, closing the canal of your breath with thinning air charged with tension.

A masterful command of the keys, a show of all that he knows and hoards for himself. Knowledge, treasure. Pure, absolute power.

You think of a dragon descending, boss music blaring.

Surely, this must be that.

But then...

It bursts, peeling off into light melody. Light, airy notes hop, skip, and jump through a lazy haze. The cadence slow and sweet, as if drunk on honey and savoring the springtime.

Everything eliminated and born anew.

What he wished to have most in his heart of hearts: to have those expectations of him broken and blown to the breeze.

You gingerly place a reassuring hand on his arm. He tenses briefly before relaxing once more, resuming with his performance--a performance filled to the brim with newfound hope, ambrosia spilling from the wellspring that is you.

Humble bragging was not a foreign phrase in Azul’s dictionary. The octopus was an expert in walking the fine line between talking up his own skill and downplaying it—whatever suited the occasion, really.

“Back in middle school, I used to be in an amateur jazz ensemble. Floyd on drums, Jade on the contrabass, and myself on piano. It has been quite some time since I have graced the stage, but for you, I will make an exception.”

There’s a slight smirk to his expression as he takes his seat at the piano bench. Stretching, flexing his fingers.

When they hit the keys, it’s like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.

All the concentrated magic dispersing in one clean, radiant wave.

The music is both calming and energetic--soft enough to soothe one’s soul, peppered with lively staccato upon longer, smoother notes. It’s a gentle and jazzy tune, the sort of song you can comfortably tap your foot along to.

You don’t know if there are any lyrics or where the melody will lead, but you vaguely hum it anyway. 

The music beguiles and allures, dips and turns, tickling your ears with the promise of desires granted, of wishes coming true. An extension of himself, an invitation to dance and skip along the waters. Deeper and deeper into the depths of him.

Only Azul is capable of producing such a sound.

His smirk has melted into a soft smile.

At once, you know.

This is the Azul that lies beneath the treacherous waves, the serenity that lies in wait after a storm at sea. Sunken treasure in the darkest corners of the ocean. Gold glinting in pitch black uncertainty.

You sigh contentedly, leaning into his shoulder and resting your head upon it.

And you let his song wash over you.

Coming in, receding, and then in again, the notes lightly nipping at your ears. His strengths, his weaknesses, facades and facts slosh together, slowly cleansing both your spirit and his.

[edgyandoverzealous]

Dhmis Forced Family Headcannons pt 2

I apologize if this is incomprehensible, bad, or redundant I am actively fighting NyQuil and am slightly sick stolll

• They are all prone to nightmares. Stuck in what essentially is, a horrific and violent time loop, who wouldn't be? Even if they didn't quite remember it.

• These nightmares either lead to intense paranoia of one another and a blow up fight. Orrr they end up super paranoid to the world around them and cling to each other like glue

• In the latter Duck won't go to work or answer (nor will he let anyone else) the phone. On the days where he was the only one with nightmares he will go as far to break the phone entirely and plop himself and Yellow into Red's lap on Red's chair tm.

• In the latter Red will quite literally slam the door in any visitors or teachers faces. Think "and we live in an actual NIGHTMARE" as well as "bye, BYE" levels of anger. He'll also refuse to be separated from Yellow (we call it papa bear instincts) and Duck if he's able to convince Duck to stay home. This is mainly due to Roy trauma and not wanting anything horrible to happen to them when he's not around.

• Yellow in the latter tries to verbalize what's bothering him. To explain the nightmare and why he's so disturbed. But he has hella trouble doing that without words getting stuck and stumbling. This leads to him giving up with a simple "don't leave me alone" as he looks down. Red will, most of the time, comply to that request. Unless they had contracting nightmares in which case Yellow will probably end up yelled at locked in a room and a three way fight when Duck gets home.

• Duck is the CEO or Boss of some factory. He basically just does what Red did in the episode Work.

• Red Guy has to reign in the others at all times.

• Yellow Guy almost electrocuted himself on multiple occasions trying to put a fork in an outlet. When questioned he said his reflection told him to do it. They cover the mirrors for a few days.

• They always buy new batteries when they go shopping, they have an entire drawer full. No one knows what for or why. Sometimes Yellow will grab two and stare at them or try to eat them. Hilarity and fights ensue from the latter.

• Grumpy but cuddly Duck is reall. He acts as though he's inconvenienced by being cuddled by Red Guy when he is the one who plopped himself there. Same thing happens when he pulls Yellow in.

• Sometimes they fall asleep in Red Guy's chair watching TV and wake up incredibly uncomfortable.

• If Red Guy forgets/fails to properly clean the house while Duck is away. Duck will say something and without fail Red Guy will throw something related to the comment at Duck and the two will brawl unapologetically.

•Yellow Guy plays the Trumpet, piano, and banjo.

•Red Guy can play the Electric Guitar, Electric Bass, and the drums

• Duck sings

• The trio have music nights for family nights sometimes where they play and sing songs.

• Yellow Guy likes to do puzzles, play his instruments, and read comics on his more calm or neutral days. He also helps Red Guy tidy up and cook/bake. He likes to color and use Legos on more destructive days. Most of the time walls get drawn on, papers go everywhere, and Legos are scattered across the floor if he goes feral.

• The latter is the main cause of three way fights.

[capricornwriter5]

OUR SEESAW - Chapter 1

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female OC

Genre: idol au, Suga X female OC, smut, fluff, angst, college romance, friends to lovers, exes to lovers, happy ending. ⚠️Warning: mentions of mental health affections, soft drugs

Summary: Music was in charge of introducing them, in front of a piano they fell in love, and in front of it was their farewell. Min Yoongi, a low-income but talented pianist, and Emm, a wealthy and outgoing law student, did not hesitate to risk everything to pursue their dreams together. For years they grew up together and unconditionally loved each other until life's adversities forced them to break up. Ten years later, and in the most unexpected way, they meet again. Their loyal friends Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, and Jung Hoseok supported them before and will do it again without really knowing what the future had stored for them.

Words: 3k

Disclaimer: I named the female character Emmy (Emm for Yoongi 🥰) because it’s easier if we want to see Suga saying cute names (it’s sweeter than just Y/N, I think 😅) but you can totally picture yourselves in the story, that’s the idea!

Chapter 1 - Crystal Snow

That winter the cold pierced the bones of those who dared to leave the comfort of their homes; however, not everyone had the privilege of staying in their residence with the heating on or sipping hot tea, some people had to go out to work and rely on the thickness of their clothes to withstand the low temperatures.

Min Yoongi was one of those unlucky individuals, and with the laziness and even pain that anyone could feel in a morning like that, he got out of bed ready to go to work. It was Thursday, he had no classes, so he worked from before the sun came up until his body gave out. First, he would have to spend part of the day in a radio booth, or at least that was what he wished. His job as an assistant forced him to do everything, and "everything" included even buying food and drinks from his bosses. In fact, he rarely worked directly with music, although he had entered there pursuing his dream of working in the music industry, the reality was different. Even further from his dream was his second job as a food delivery man, which was a nightmare in that winter in which with costs and he managed to stay warm enough to move. His third job was a little better, at least there was no risk of freezing to death since it was in a restaurant.

He tried to be as stealthy as possible, but upon reaching the kitchen, he found his roommate already awake.

"Good morning, Yoongi." Said a guy taller than Yoongi, with brown hair, and a friendly smile. “Do you still have time before you go? I'm finishing making breakfast, the coffee is almost ready, don't go out without eating again."

"This is a surprise; you never prepare breakfast. Why did you wake up so early? Do you have a rehearsal?"

"That's right, I'm the protagonist, I can't be late."

Kim Seok-jin was the name of his roommate, who was in the third year of his university studies. Since Jin was a kid, he had loved acting, as far as he remembered, he has always formed part of the theater club; therefore, it was not a surprise for his family when he decided to study dramatic arts. 

After more than a year of living together, Yoongi was used to seeing Jim leave early to study his scripts; however, that morning was particularly early even for Jin.

“This damn cold won't let me sleep and I thought that if I cooked something it would warm me up, but the only thing that got warm was the room when I entered.” He joked laughing heartily, but because he laughed so much, he dropped the egg he was holding in his hand, making a mess in the kitchen.

"Take that as a divine sign to stop your lame jokes," Yoongi said helping him clean up. "Better sit down, I'll take care of breakfast today."

Jin beamed with delight at the thought of his roommate preparing the food. Truth be told, the two of them cooked deliciously and had come to an agreement to share all meals. While Yoongi was responsible of breakfast for being the first to wake up, Jin cooked dinner. However, almost every day before leaving home, Jin found that Yoongi had also prepared lunch and even packed it for him.

Yoongi was such a good cook that Jin had no regrets as he sat comfortably on the couch while his friend took care of the rest. Even though Yoongi had his back turned, he knew perfectly well what Jin was about to do and warned him to stop.

"Don't play with the guitar, last time you broke a string."

"It was unintentional, besides you didn't get mad at me." He said taking it anyway.

"The difference is that this time I don't have money to buy a new package of strings."

“Do they still not pay you on the radio? You work non-stop, you go every damn day and still don't get paid on time, you should find another job."

“The pay isn't bad.”

"The pay doesn't exist."

"Just don't play with the..."

Yoongi's words were interrupted by the scandal caused by the instrument hitting the ground. Jin had dropped it and while he apologized a thousand times and made sure there was no damage, Yoongi just took a deep breath and continued cooking. His patience was one of his greatest attributes, as well as the enormous musical talent he had with practically any instrument that fell into his hands.

"At least the strings are fine," Jin assured with a nervous laugh, but his friend didn't make a sound.

After a while, they both had breakfast in silence, or at least Yoongi tried to do it, for Jin kept talking and making those jokes that only he found funny.

As Yoongi was about to leave, Jin remembered something he would say to his friend earlier in the day, but he practically had to shout it out, as Yoongi had just put on his gloves to go out.

"Some friends invited me out tonight, will you join us?"

"I have to work."

"You can come later, I'm pretty sure we'll see the sunrise there."

“Why would I want to freeze when I could be in my room? I have classes early tomorrow.”

"You could socialize with the rest of the world like a normal person, you know, communicate with real people, not just with your piano and guitar." Yoongi ended up laughing and shaking his head negatively. “You better go, I'll be waiting for you! And as compensation for what happened today, I'll pay all you drink.”

"Are you sure that's a promise you want to make?"

"Damn, I forgot you're a sponge."

"What?"

"A sponge, yes, because of your ability to absorb alcohol."

Yoongi didn't finish listening to the rest when he had already closed the apartment door, it was too early to hear Jin's jokes.

That day everything went normally, Yoongi had to do a thousand things at once, so he barely had time to eat. Fortunately, in the evening his payment arrived; yet, his balance would considerably decrease, since not only did he have to pay half of the apartment's rent he shared with Jin, but he also owed the tuition for that semester. That's without counting what he would spend on food, there was little left at home.

A sigh escaped the musician's lips as he looked at how much money he had left free. "Well... let's continue, better days will come," he said to himself closing the bank application on his cell phone and getting on his motorcycle.

When he got home, he fell into his bed, Jin was not there, but he had the kind gesture of leaving dinner ready for him. It was typical of Jin, especially when he'd made a mistake, like hitting Yoongi's guitar earlier. That was how Yoongi was able to enjoy dinner, but suddenly he felt an enormous desire to drink something with alcohol.

"Shit," he said after making sure there were no more bottles of soju left in the apartment.

He remembered his friend's invitation. On another occasion, he would not have accepted, since spending his Thursday night in a crowded place was at the bottom of his favorite things to do. In addition, his social skills were not the best, he was an extremely quiet and introverted boy, most of the time his mind was lost in musical arrangements that he could make of all the compositions he had made. At first glance, he seemed like an indifferent and cold person, and although it was part accurate, the truth of the matter was that Yoongi had a very fixed goal in his life for years: he would succeed as a composer and live as comfortably as he had always dreamed of. 

However, that night his appreciation for liquor made him leave his house again and go meet Jin.

After greeting Jin's noisy friends, Yoongi sat in a corner and, looking as nonchalant as ever, began to drink. The musician did not pay any attention to what was happening at the table, his mind and eyes were outside the bar, thinking about how to convince the radio people to let him work with the music mixes. He had already tried but had only managed to get his bosses to send him for more coffee. Yoongi was used to it, it wasn't the first time he had been told no or his job was rejected, but his disciplined and hard-working nature, plus the armor he had created from so much rejection wouldn't let him give up.

“So, how was your day? I was sure you would end up coming.” Jin said handing him another drink.

"As always." He said taking the glass, but suddenly he coughed in such a way that his friend looked at him worried.

"You're still sick, you should get some rest."

“Says the same person who’s serving me alcohol.” The musician joked.

“Yoongi, why don't you ever listen? You can't go to work like this."

"It's no big deal." He assured.

"If it's nothing, then you might be interested in meeting a friend." Jin raised his eyebrows gracefully. "At 3:00."

"Huh?" Yoongi asked making a sound.

“I already told you, 3:00”

"I literally have no idea what you're talking about, Jin." Yoongi was about to continue looking out the window when Jin laughed and hit him on the shoulder.

"You're so funny! I'm telling you it's the girl sitting on the other side of the table, the one with the short hair."

"Forget it, the last time you introduced me to one of your friends she chased me not only to work, but I couldn't go to the park to train because she was there."

"That's because of your fatal charm." He said pushing him again and making Yoongi regret leaving the house. "Come on! What can go wrong? I mean, after Yujin, any date will be a good anecdote."

Yoongi didn't need to say anything, just with the gaze he gave his friend and how he looked at the window again, Jin understood that he didn't want him to keep bothering him.

As he continued to drink in silence and watch the snow fall, Yoongi spotted a couple. It was a thin boy dressed extravagantly, his winter clothes were so colorful that he ended up catching Yoongi's attention. To tell the truth, the musician ignored if it was the clothes or the fact that the boy had stopped and started dancing in a very funny way. Yoongi thought that he had gone crazy until the girl who accompanied him imitated him and danced the same way. The musician could not see the girl's face, but he was amused to see that strange couple, he ended up laughing from his chair, it was more than evident that these two did not care what people thought, much less didn't mind being ridiculous, apparently, they were having a great time, the boy's laughter was even louder than Jin's.

When they finally stopped dancing, the girl turned around and took off the hat she wore for the cold. Her long dark hair fell freely on her shoulders, despite getting it wet from the snow, the girl didn't seem to care, she hadn't stopped laughing and looking at the boy who was with her. From where he was, Yoongi admired her face, or at least what the distance allowed. He was struck by how authentic her smile looked, in fact, it was the first time he had seen someone smiling with something other than their lips, everything from that girl emanated joy.

“Yoongi, you came!” said a male voice and soon the musician felt a pat on his back.

“Namjoon? What are you doing here? I thought you were working tonight.”

“What am I doing here? Jin invited me, didn't you read the messages? I said they gave me the night off because of the snow.” He clarified sitting next to his friend.

Yoongi turned back to the window, just for a second, but the couple was gone.

"Well, what are we drinking today?" Namjoon asked with a smile.

*********

Despite having spent some quality time with his friends, Yoongi came home that night and couldn't sleep well, because although he had pretty thick skin when it comes to criticism and life's adversities, the truth was that on certain days it wasn't so easy to handle how difficult it was to create his own path. Sometimes Yoongi wondered if everything he was doing would be worth it and if he would ever be successful, but when he realized the kind of thoughts he was having, and when he felt the threatening shadow of anxiety approaching like a stealthy enemy, the musician tried to think of something else, and if he couldn't, he ended up composing music or writing songs. After all, if there was one thing Yoongi feared more than not being successful, it was the havoc that anxiety could wreak on him.

As expected, that night he did not rest well. The next morning, Yoongi left again extremely early, but seeing that his motorcycle had no gas, he decided that it would be better to walk, at least if he walked, he would warm up and forget about the cold. Obviously, that was not the case, and he was freezing while walking.

A few streets before reaching college, he passed a music store that he used to visit, or rather admire, at least once a week. Yoongi could see through the window a piano that he dreamed of buying, his was not so new, besides the wood was not of the best quality, even so, he had a special affection for it because it was the first significant investment he made. However, he couldn't help but wish the one looking out the window, it was simply beautiful, unlike his brown tone, the one in the store was totally black with certain silver details that Yoongi loved. Unfortunately, the piano was worth a fortune, and he carried more important debts, so he sighed and continued his way. Once he was successful, the first thing Yoongi would do would be to buy it.

A few minutes later, Yoongi was entering the music department of his university. Being so early, no one else was there, just an old janitor, who was used to seeing him at that hour. Since his first year, the boy had been taking advantage of the fact that the practice rooms were empty during the mornings.

"Kid, there's not even natural light," commented the janitor when Yoongi greeted him with a kind smile.

"The earlier the better"

"Go in there, I just finished cleaning for you, I assumed you would come early again."

With a slight nod, Yoongi thanked, but before leaving, he took out something from his backpack and offered it to the man.

"I made soup"

Touched by the gesture, the old man put down his cleaning supplies and smiled at Yoongi. "You're going to spoil me, what am I going to do when you graduate and stop bringing me breakfast?"

"We'll worry about that later." Yoongi commented with a wave of his hand before entering the practice room.

"Wait, wait! Aren't you going to join me?"

"I need to practice"

"Oh, come on, it'll be just a couple of minutes, I'm starving."

Since there was no one else there at that time, there was no problem in going into another room so that the old man could eat.

As always, what Yoongi had cooked was mouthwatering and in a matter of minutes, everything was gone. However, although Yoongi kept doing the same thing every day and pretended that he wanted to be alone, he really enjoyed those little moments in the morning when he talked to the janitor. Maybe it was the fact that he reminded him a bit of his father, or that the old man had a very warm personality, whatever the reason, Yoongi had a close friendship with him.

"Still can't find a better job?"

"Everything remains the same. But it's okay, it's a matter of being patient."

"Sure, you're young, you can say that. Although you don't think like a young boy, you're an old man trapped in a body of a cool musician. Is that why you're growing your hair out? If you continue like that, you're not going to find a girlfriend." He said pointing to Yoongi with his index finger and making him laugh. "But you know what? Girls like bad boys, and you have that vibe."

"Did you make me stay just to talk about my hair?"

"Hair is always important, kid, one bad hair day and everything goes wrong." That comment made Yoongi laugh even harder. "But tell me, have you thought about the offer the director made you? If you teach others, you’ll earn good money. He's even offering you to be an assistant, in all my years working here, I've never heard of anyone being offered that. It is the students who beg for that opportunity."

"You know I don't want to teach, I don't want to work with others, I prefer to do it by myself."

"Are you gonna continue singing the same song, kid? Don't be foolish and stubborn, that won't do you any good. It's too hard to do everything alone, you have to accept help and don't be proud."

"Harabeoji, it's not a matter of pride."

Look, what happened to you is..."

"Well, time to go," the musician interrupted getting to his feet. "I need to practice before I go to work."

"Oh, no! You're not doing the same again, come back here."

"Close the windows of the rooms you need to clean, this winter is not a joke. The last thing you want is pneumonia, if they hospitalize you, I won't be able to bring you food."

As Yoongi walked out the door, the janitor yelled, "And cut that hair, you can almost braid it!"

With a grin on his face at the old man's insistence on his hair, Yoongi headed to the rehearsal room. He could spend hours when he was in front of a piano, really in front of any instrument, but the piano will always have a special place in Yoongi's life. Hence, it was no wonder that he had to run out of the practice room when he realized he was late for work. If all went well, the shift would end early, so he could practice a little more. Normally, he would do it at home, but his piano had been sounding different and he had to send it in for repair.

Yoongi couldn't even suspect what his long hours of practice in that class had done to someone, but he would know soon enough.

To be continued... 🐱

➳ Next Chapter

[lieblingspulli]

Loving Straykids: SKZ

Word Count: 2.2K

OT8 Skz x Reader (Gender Nuetral)

Summary: What does it feel like to be loved and love the members of Straykids? It feels like many things, but mostly home.

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist!

a/n: Hello everyone! I hope now that summer has begun, that I can continue to put out notable works that you guys can enjoy. This is my first fic including all of the boys so please be gentle with her! <3. I got this idea while listening to some piano music, it's soft lover hours. As always, I hope you enjoy this one!

P.S. I made a playlist for this post! Check it out here.

--

Chan

Song: New Home, Austin Farwell

Chan can be a bit frustrating at times. His behavior at work is different from his behavior at home, not in a bad way, but he seems to switch modes when he’s in the studio. Sometimes his professionalism can get in the way of truly opening up to you, yet you feel as if he knows everything about you. Chan likes to pay attention to everything, everyone, all at once. But this is always quickly remedied, as he is a firm believer of never going to bed upset. Talking to Chan is always a relief and you love how open he can be sometimes. Chan likes to show his love in different ways and sometimes (more often than not, all the time) this can hamper his ability to love himself. But loving Chan reminds you that not everything can be perfect and this is okay! Imperfection is what makes your love for Chan stronger, and you love to make this a point when he’s down. Chan always strives to be a perfect partner and lover, but loving you makes him love himself too. The way you remind him what it means to be human, it’s something he’ll cherish forever. Loving Chan is loving his work, his moods, his personality, his everything. Nothing makes him feel more loved than him coming home after studio recording days and you waiting for him on the couch. His arms wrap perfectly around your body like they were made for hugging you. Chan loves to tell you how beautiful you are, how incredibly patient you are, and how imperfectly perfect you are for him. Loving Chan is loving to be human. 

Leeknow

Song: Clouds, Luke Faulkner

Minho is generally a loud and proud type of person. As a partner, Minho is chaos personified, but there’s also a gentleness to him that is profoundly deep and lasting. Minho is a gentle lover, not very expressive, but his motives are there-loud and clear. His actions may be a bit misguided, like that one time he surprised you at work with a personally delivered lunch but you were in the middle of a meeting with your boss when he walked into your office yelling, “Jagi!!” Nonetheless, his intentions are as clear as daytime in the summer. His words may be jumbled sometimes, or he may get moody, but that’s precisely why you love him. Despite him not being a stereotypical and ‘perfect’ lover, he makes loving seem easy and fun. He’s quick to keep a hand on you, making sure you know he’s there when you need him. Minho is quick to land kisses on you when you show any sign of being upset or anxious. His disposition scares others, but to you, he is the perfect ending to your day. He is the start to your morning, the stars to your telescope. Minho knows you like he knows the back of his hand. Loving Minho is like waking up to a sunrise and hearing the birds chirp. Minho loves to love you, and you only. He loves his fellow straykids members, but loving you is different. It’s what makes him whole and feel real. It fills any doubts he has in his mind about things that happen in life, it makes him feel secure in the path he takes, because as long as he’s with you, he can do anything. Loving Minho is loving the process of being in love. 

Changbin

Song: First Love, Luxid

Changbin is a man that knows what he wants. That is, until he met you. Changbin has never felt so blindsided yet free in his life. Changbin is a prideful man, a hardworking, talented, pretty young man. You never fail to be surprised each time he professes his love to you (which is every morning in bed) or every time he surprises you by coming home before you to help you relax from a long day of work. Changbin loves to be your picture perfect lover, someone you can brag about to both your parents and your friends. But when he’s with you, all his walls come crashing down. His pride is torn to bits, not by you, but by his adoration for you. He loves to spoil you when given the chance, he loves to kiss you silly. Changbin is enamored with the mystery you bring into his life, the spontaneity you breathe into his days. He’s in love with how much he’s discovered about himself since you showed him what it means to be loved. Changbin is struck dumb by your ability to comfort him in stressful times, and by your patience for his thoughts. Your unyielding iron fist in your guys’ conversations about bad days and good days makes him want to surrender all his thoughts to you. Loving Changbin is loving how hard he works, but also how unserious he is. Loving Changbin is feeling the cool breeze on a hot summer day, it is clarity and energizing. Loving him is knowing you will always be safe in his embrace and being encouraged to do more. 

Hyunjin

Song: The Flower Garden, Joe Hisaishi

Hyunjin loves to be creative. He loves to create and see creation. That’s why his love for you feels so intimate. It is something the two of you have created together and it makes him giddy to know you have put as much work as he has in order to make something so long lasting and fulfilling. Hyunjin’s love feels slow and comforting, like a lullaby singing to you to have a good night’s rest. It is like Felix’s where it feels like a fairytale, but this fairytale is slow and meticulous in its formation. But it is also detailed and precise, Hyunjin is a perfectionist at heart. Your love for him has melted through his detailed process of creation and now you make the most beautiful of colors as you two show each other love everyday. The hues of your relationship are rich and nothing pleases Hyunjin more than knowing he has provided for you a type of comfort that no one else can give you. Hyunjin loves how you dance for him, he loves how messy you can be and yet still love the final product. You’ve shown him both creatively and romantically that the process is about having fun and not how perfect the end product is. His love has shown you how he has surrendered everything and how much he trusts you. Hyunjin’s love feels like a flower garden during the spring, newly sprouted, yet so satisfying and beautiful. The roots of your intricate romance feel like something new is coming your way, and who knows? Hyunjin might just pop a certain question soon!

Jisung

Song: this is what falling in love feels like, JVKE Jisung is your classic playful lover. Everything seems to spin when you are with him, as if the world revolves around the two of you. Jisung is not the type to publicly show his affection, but he absolutely will show spectacular proclamations of love to you. His affection, physical or not, is always grandiose and dramatic, but also soft and tender. His “i love yous” every morning are not devoid of meaning, nor are his touches or surprises. Jisung feels like a swig of cold water after running hard, loving Jisung feels energetic and happy. Jisung sometimes gets too caught up in his own thoughts to really think through his grandiose plans, but you balance his jumbled out thoughts perfectly. Your ability to sort out his energy is unparalleled, compared even to the likes of Chan. Jisung’s energy matches your calm demeanor in a completely sensible way. Jisung has so many things he wants to say or do, and you are there to tackle them with him one word or day at a time. You love how silly he is, but you also love how he is when he is calm and collected. Jisung’s ability to be laser focused on what he wants is incredibly attractive to you and you love encouraging him to try his best when things don’t go as planned. His never ending fountain of words can slow down into the most eloquent displays of affections. Loving Jisung is like drinking sweet tea by the pool. Loving Jisung is loving how to be silly and still so focused on your emotions. It is goofy but it is so clear to you that Jisung exists for you and you for him.

Felix

Song: So This is Love, Emile Pandolfi

Felix is the most fairy-like person out of the boys, as many can securely back me up. Don’t mistake his dainty demeanor for weak however. Felix’s love is strong, and he makes sure he can support you with his iron will alone. Loving Felix feels like a fairytale at first, it is light and sweeps you off your feet with how perfect it is. His love is like pixie dust on your nose, but also a secure foundation for your feet to walk on. Felix’s words have depth and meaning, his touches remind you that he’s there when you fall and will always be. Your kindness and empathy often do not go unnoticed by him, he loves how caring you are for those around you and it makes his stomach feel warm when you always ask about his family and friends. Your ability to make him feel cared for and secure in his own image makes him fall in love with you every day again. You love how he makes you feel like a princess and he loves how you reassure him immensely. He loves to help you find yourself and you love to hold him when the time calls. Your love with Felix can best be described as holding a butterfly and feeling a sense of euphoria. Loving Felix feels like a ballroom dance in glittering lights, but only the two of you are dancing and nothing else in the world matters. Loving Felix feels like your fairytale will never end. 

Seungmin

Song: Mia and Sebastian’s Theme, Kyle Landry

Seungmin is such a roller coaster of a person, it would only make sense that his love is also chaotic as well, right? Wrong. Seungmin’s love is intricate but never chaotic. It has resolve, and is organized. Suengmin knows when to comfort you and when to leave you be. Seungmin is a stickler for being organized, but when you first came into his life, your chaos was a headache. Seungmin hasn’t been that surprised very often, but as he began to realize how much he’s grown to love you, he felt like his world was being turned upside down. All his organized thoughts were dumped on the table like a child emptying their toy box. But as time passes by, Seungmin has learned how to love you for all the chaos you bring him. He loves how much duality you have, being a passionate lover but also being a calm mediator in tough situations. His love feels like flying in the night sky, it’s exciting and yet serene at the same time. It is bright and light, but also has a type of seriousness that makes him feel like he’s got control over his life and emotions. You have a special ability to bring out the best in him, despite the attitude he gives (jokingly). Seungmin loves you fervently, you fuel him in a way no one else can and this makes him want to be a partner that pleases. He loves the way you look at him and he loves the chaos you bring (along with your guinea pig that you both adopted together). Seungmin’s love feels like organized chaos, but it is a fire that lights you both and keeps you running without ever running out of fuel. 

I.N

Song: Nothing, Bruno Major

Jeongin is the most shy out of the boys. Despite this, Jeongin is the first to admit he loves you. Those words fascinate him, but he truly feels like he loves you. Jeongin goes with whatever happens, he rides the waves and listens to people as they pass him by. He is reserved, even with his older bandmates, but he opens up completely to you. As a lover, Jeongin likes to do whatever you like and he maintains his gentlemanly manners when you go out with him on dates. He is a calm and level headed partner, always figuring things out even if he doesn’t understand things himself. His shyness is not for a lack of confidence, rather it is his façade to truly observe people. The more he observes you, the more his respect and love for you grows. Your spontaneous disposition pairs well with his flexibility and you find yourselves taking random trips for dates. He admires you whenever he’s with you and honestly, he’s satisfied showing you love on a day trip or a night in at home. He just wants to be next to you and feel your comfort after long days at work. Loving Jeongin is a playful but immensely secure love. It’s comforting like a warm jacket on a snowy day, but it also lets you appreciate the small things in life as you walk to the convenience store at 9pm or cuddle next to him watching the Little Mermaid. Whether it’s playing board games with him or riding a large rollercoaster, loving Jeongin is the same in any circumstance: it is young and playful, but also a pocket of home to you. 

[simpalert]

an explanation of my au of batim in celebration for batdr release, as told by bendy himself (TW: mentions on blade and "blood"<ink> and chest cavity)

so...guess I'm doing this now huh? well, let's get this over with. the day started like any other, Sammy was playing piano, Alice was singing, and me and Boris we dancing. everything was perfect, but then joey walked up to me and told me to follow him. I followed cause he's my boss and my creator, I felt like in that case I had to. we go to an old dank room with a medical table in the middle, he tells me to get on so he can strap me to it. I do what he said cause again, he's my creator and my boss. so I felt like I had to. he then puts a cloth over my mouth, I asked him why he put it on and he said no reason and to close my eyes.

I close my eyes and everything is quiet for a while, just noises of joey moving and muffled music outside. but at some point, I feel a cold, stinging sensation on my wrist. I asked joey what was going on and he told me nothing and to be quiet. a few more of these weird cold sensations go by and I finally opened my eyes and saw that joey was using a blade to cut scrapes all over my body. I yelled at him to stop and once I realized that he was ignoring me I yelled for help. but thanks to the rag I was muffled and they were still playing music outside. so I had to go through all of that torment. once he was done he released me from the bed and dropped me on the floor like an old rag, then he walked out of the room. I tried to get up, go after him, or even get help. but at that point, I was losing so much ink, and couldn't move an inch without being in a tremendous amount of pain. I just curled up in a ball and lay there, silently crying to myself.

once I was able to move around again I wobbly got up and then noticed that the music stopped, I went outside and no one was there. I then wandered around, alone. until something in a room, I passed caught my eye. I went back and what I saw, shook me to my core. in the middle of the room was a medical table, surrounded by candles, with a pool of ink under it. and on that table, was Boris. Xs for eyes and a huge chest cavity, nothing inside other than ink and ribs. at that moment, it felt like my whole world was crashing around me. I went up to Boris shoke him a bit and pleaded for him to wake up, what a foolish thing of me to do. that Boris was gone, gone gone. I cried for a good minute until I heard faint muffled screaming from a room a few inches away from the one I was in, I wobbly got up and went to see and, and it was Alice. and she was getting almost the same treatment I got. I tried to go in to save her. but once the cloth on her mouth slipped down she mouthed to me, run. so I ran. I ran all the way to heavenly toys and hid in a pile of plushies.

I found a tape recorder in the pile and started to record something. I don't remember all of what I said, but I was mainly just pleading for all of this to be over or to just have been a cruel nightmare. I was also saying sorry to any almighty deity that I might have made mad. and after that, everything went dark. I barely remember I single thing that happened, yeah I can recall little bits and pieces. but most of it is a blur to me. when I came back, Henery was there waiting for me with open arms, a ran up to him and he gave me a big hug. and finally I felt something that I hadn't felt in years.

safe...

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I hope ya'll enjoyed this lil fic, I might make some comics of this au or maybe more fics but idk.

have a great day batim and badr lovers/enjoyers alike.

[ninacarstairss]

Say you won’t let go

THOMASTAIR WEEK — day 4, song association @youngreckless

“Can you sing something for me?” Thomas asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

Alastair raised his head and his eyes met Thomas' over the cup of coffee he was jealously holding in his hands. A smile tugged at Alastair's sleep at the sight of the other boy's disheveled hair and the faint gleam in his hazel eyes.

It was a cloudy day and the dim light of morning flooded the room. Alastair let his gaze rest on Thomas for a moment and his lips curved upwards. They'd barely seen each other for the past week: Thomas coming to bed at ungodly hours because of his internship and his despotic boss and Alastair having classes all day long and exams coming up. It was the first time in a week they'd woken up together and could sit at the table to have breakfast at the same time.

He stood and pressed a kiss on Thomas' forehead before taking his hand and leading him to the small space they'd called the music room. Thomas was still clutching tightly his coffee and Alastair couldn't help but smile at the sight, as the taller boy sat on the stool near the piano. Alastair sat in front of the instrument too, his bare knee grazing Thomas', a simple gesture of comfort he had greatly missed in the last few days. “What do you want me to sing, azizam?” he asked, a hand going up to cup Thomas' nape, fingers brushing his hair softly.

Thomas closed his eyes at the touch and Alastair felt the other boy's posture ease under his fingers like a reflex. “Whatever you want” he answered. “I just want to hear you voice for the next three minutes. Or maybe for the next three hours.”

Thomas grinned at him and Alastair thought he might just do anything for that smile. He placed another kiss on Thomas' cheek and then positioned his hands on the piano. His mind filled with notes and melodies and he searched for something that would fit the moment. As soon as his fingers started moving, Alastair noticed Thomas recognized the song.

I met you in the dark, you lit me up You made me feel as though I was enough We danced the night away, we drank too much I held your hair back when you were throwing up

Alastair turned his head to look at Thomas and saw the mirror of his own expression on his face. He was looking at him as if he was the only person that mattered in the world. He wondered if he would ever get used to the feeling of being loved by Thomas Lightwood in such a singular way. It still felt bigger than himself, and he was ready to get lost in the vastness of that emotion.

Then you smiled over your shoulder For a minute, I was stone-cold sober I pulled you closer to my chest And you asked me to stay over I said, I already told ya I think that you should get some rest

Thomas eyes fluttered shut again for a moment, then he opened them and a smile broke across his face. A shiver went down Alastair's spine at the sight. Thomas set down his cup of coffee and started singing with Alastair.

I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know 'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go I know I needed you, but I never showed But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old Just say you won't let go, just say you won't let go

As their voices became one, the words of the song hit Alastair fully, the truth behind what they were singing. He and Thomas had started as an accident, a twist of fate that had barely any meaning, and Alastair had wondered way too often when Thomas would tire or be overwhelmed with everything that Alastair was or needed and leave. But it had been four years and Thomas had seen all his lights and shadows, he'd wanted to know the worst part of Alastair and he'd loved them all as if they were his best qualities. In those four years he had taught Alastair to let go of his fears and to accept the love Thomas wanted to give him. And somehow, it had been possible: Alastair knew Thomas wouldn't leave, just as surely as he knew he himself wouldn't.

I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head And I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night

When you looked over your shoulder For a minute, I forget that I'm older I wanna dance with you right now Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever

Thomas leaned in and whispered the next lines in Alastair's hear, giggling softly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

And I swear that everyday you'll get better You make me feel this way somehow

I'm so in love with you and I hope you know Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold We've come so far, my dear, look how we've grown And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

The song went on and memories of those four years started playing in the back of his head: breakfasts in bed and late night drives around town to look for a 24h store to buy snacks or to go wonder around the deserted places in the city, days snuggled on the couch having movie marathons and their travels around the world, the day Thomas first told him he loved him and the time Alastair surprised him with a trip to Paris and kissed him on the Tour Eiffel. The time they fought for days because everything seemed impossibly complicated and difficult but, against all odds, made it through the pain and found a new balance, a new home for their love to grow into.

I'm gonna love you 'til My lungs give out I promise 'til death we part like in our vows So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows That it's just you and me 'til we're grey and old Just say you won't let go

When the song ended they fell into giddy kisses and blissful laughter, Thomas' coffee forgotten on the piano and probably cold by then. Thomas pulled Alastair onto his legs and put his arms around him, the feeling of his warm skin like a steady certainty wrapped around Alastair's heart.

“Hey, hold on” Alastair said, pulling back from the kiss and earning a grunt of protest in return. “It's your turn now,” he added, a grin breaking across his face. “Tell me something in Spanish.”

Thomas smiled back at him and leaned in to lay a gentle kiss on his lips. “Te quiero” he murmured against Alastair's lips.

Alastair brought a hand up to touch Thomas’ silken hair and locked his eyes with the clear hazel of Thomas'. “I love you too.”

“Y voy a quedarme, siempre.”

Tag list: @cordaisya @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @surrounded-by-exquisite-clutter @stxr-thxif @icycoolslushie

The two lines in Spanish are “I love you” and “I'm going to stay, forever”

[musicallisto]

hi love! congratulations on such a wonderful milestone! i’ve been following you for ages so this is almost as exciting for me haha

could i please get a 🍨 for the grishaverse/six of crows? (whichever you feel fits!) i’m straight female who is an istj, slytherin, and 6w5! i also took the grisha quiz and am apparently a alkemi (but would i truly want to be grisha? the jury is still out on that). im 5’7 with blonde hair, brown eyes, and glasses. i’m a sagittarius sun, pisces moon, and aquarius rising!

i’m pretty independent, and believe no friendship demands blind faith. i’m probably too selfish (which i don’t see as a bad thing, personally), and can be quick to anger.

HOWEVER! i’m not all angst. i’m introverted, shy, & frankly bad with emotions (both feeling and expressing), BUT i also love to laugh, and will not stop talking to you about things i like once we’re friends.

i love that first sip of coffee, the silence after it snows, and the stars on a clear night. i’ve had multiple concussions from sports (which tells you all you need to know about my self-preservation skills) but i will take a day in bed reading or watching various franchise movies over adventure most days. i also lovelovelove listening to music — specifically classical!

thank you so much in advance !! and take all the time you need, this is a fun celebration so i wouldn’t wanna stress you out :) congrats again!!

hi! here’s your vanilla milkshake! (also - please come off anon because first of all, you’ve been following me for a long time? my heart melts. but ALSO! you sound like the most amazing and fascinating person and i adore your personality.) i thought of going for a shadow and bone character to diversify a little bit - but who am i to resist the call of kaz brekker?

no words can express my excitement at being able to use an actual gif for Kaz.

we all know Kaz and we all know his emotional turmoil. expect the slowest of slow-burns; expect to even wonder if the candle is lit at all.

But it is, I promise. It is lit and it seeps into his heart in ways that he doesn’t understand, and frankly, that scare him a little.

He’s never been good at that whole falling thing. He’s more than content to sit above the rest, and leave the tumbling to Inej.

So when he has to face the music and understand that you’re not getting away, and neither are his growing fondness for you? He’s totally helpless. Serves him right for not learning how to fall sooner.

At first, he thought it was mere fascination that drew him to you. Sure, it takes a lot for him to be impressed... but even he has to admit that you are a lot. Not in the lot in the exuberant sense of all these merchants, but assured and strong in your mastery of your powers, and in your quiet competence.

You craft most of the poisons and antidotes the Dregs use, and are unafraid to yield them yourself; you don’t mind getting your hands dirty; you’re reliable, loyal, easy to trust, and, surprisingly to him, easy to befriend as well. Although he doesn’t make a big effort to befriend you anyway; but whenever he goes down to visit you in your clandestine lab, he ends up spending much more time than he originally planned talking to you.

It’s just so easy to forget the grime of the streets above in that peaceful laboratory, with the distant sound of violin and chemical solutions bubbling somewhere indistinct. And your total concentration, as you mix up the poisons and conjure the blasting powders with deadly precision, is a magnificent sight to see.

At first, Kaz is guilty of sending you on missions for him, or confining you to your lab. You don’t mind the work, and understand that it is where you are most useful, but quickly tell Kaz that you are not at his disposition whenever he wants to run his errands; that you are his equal, and that you work for the Dregs because someone must feed these poor children, not because you would blindly give up your life for him.

In other words: you owe him nothing, and you’re not his lackey. And he better understand that quickly, lest you leave and offer your services to a cause that will remember you for more than your craftsmanship.

It’s a wake-up call for him, surely; it’s when he realizes that you have an independent soul, that you know no ties nor bounds, that you are neither a Kerch nor a Ravkan nor a Shu, but truly a citizen of your own heart, and that there is nothing tying you to him except your good will.

And the idea that you might disappear from his life as quickly as you barged in is enough to paralyze him for a good second. But then he regains his composure.

And asks you to stay, please.

(Not for the poisons, not for the magic, not for the money, but for me, he almost adds, but he can’t get the words out, and doesn’t.)

From that point on, you go on missions with Kaz and the Dregs, and no longer for them, standing as tall as the other Crows.

And your relationship with Kaz grows seemingly a little stronger for it. He opens up a little more, sometimes slips in a little something that might even be considered a compliment.

The others have told him time and time again that you are a fun and happy person to be around, and he couldn’t believe them, because all he ever saw of you was the focused and precise Grisha synthesizing arsenic or negotiating contracts by his side. But as he opens up to you, and on the rare occasions you’re both at the Crow House, he listens to you excitedly tell a story to the others Dregs crowded around a greasy table, he understands what they mean.

You are fascinating.

It’s not the Alkemi in you, it’s not your deadly aim nor your rigor with your work... it’s you. It’s in the excitement in your voice when you talk about something you love, and the care you put in making space for Kaz in your busy schedule.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me?”

“I don’t want to see you when you boss me around. Otherwise, you’re not so terrible to spend time with.”

(Which, in your shared language of restriction and shiness, means “I appreciate you a lot and enjoy your company more than I let on”.)

It’s in your relaxed face when you listen to classical music... when you’re working late nights at the lab and start humming along to the piano on a beaten gramophone that Jesper, of all people, stole for you one day - a Romantic Fjerdan melody, nothing to do with the industrial rhythms of Ketterdam, and your feet begin swaying to the music without you noticing.

He just stopped by to bring you the list of what he’ll need to take care of the Ice Court guards... but he’s taken aback, on the doorstep, watching you enjoy the music like a careless ballet dancer. He’s never seen you quite so relaxed...

... maybe that’s when he falls for good.

And maybe you know he’s fallen for good when you stop by unannounced at his office at the Crow House to hand him the poisoned blades he’s asked for... and you find him listening to the exact same waltz you were playing when he arrived.

You never took Kaz for the classical music type - you do a double-take before he looks up at you, his face and lips even, but a glimmer of hope twinkling in his dark eyes.

“You wanted?”

“To see you.”

His brow perks up.

“However did I get so lucky?”

But he gestures for you to step in, to get closer to him, to fill his dull office with your heady scent, both poison ivy and white rose.

Maybe, under the right night sky, with the right alignment of stars, and after the right snowfall on a deserted plain, he will hear the same music again, and this time he will clumsily extend this hand.

Not to dance, not even for you to take. Just to hold it out for you. Just so you know he would go to any lengths to keep you safe.

But for now, you have a heist to plan.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

[plague-of-insomnia]

WIP Wednesday: 1920s AU, Sebard Smut

So because life has been... well... life... lately, and I haven’t been able to write much, I thought, well maybe if I can do a quick oneshot that’s not related to any of my existing projects, it could help.... welp.

So far, the concept is this:

Sebardagni Poly fic. Set in the US, during the 1920s (think flappers, prohibition, speakeasys, jazz, etc...). Sebastian had polio as a child (a disease that attacks the nerves that work the muscles in your body), so his legs don’t work well and he uses crutches to get around. (He’s human in this AU.)

He is a musician who plays part time in a Jazz band at a speakeasy where Bard works as muscle for the boss/owner, The Undertaker. He also teaches music in his home to various people (voice, piano, violin). He’s not officially NB as of now but he is definitely GNC.

Agni is a doctor, but it’s not easy working in this time period with his color skin, so he works part time at a clinic for the poor/people who the “white” docs won’t treat for whatever reason, and gets his real money treating The Undertaker’s men whenever they get hurt in a scuffle/fight.

I’ve gotten about 3000 words so far and am still feeling out the story, but here’s a little taste ;).

In this scene, Bard wakes Seb up in a very nice way....

Please be kind; it’s been an age since I wrote smut....

Reblogs appreciated!! And if you like it, let me know (replies/comments/asks are great)!! Always happy to see fellow poly fans and fellow sebardagni fans!

N S F W under the cut ---->

Sebastian woke, warm rays of sunshine draping over him and making him want to snuggle back under the covers. He’d slept surprisingly well, and had to admit perhaps that tea of Agni’s really did have something to it. Still, the worst times of day for him were night and first thing in the morning. He stretched, arching his back and wincing as the muscles in his left calf cramped suddenly. He’d definitely regret sleeping in, even if he didn’t have a full schedule today.

“Morning, sunsh—oh, you’re already awake.” Bard entered the room with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand that he offered Sebastian once he pushed himself into a sitting position. Then he threw the sheets off his legs. “Don’t worry; Agni made it before he left. I promise I didn’t even touch the stove.”

Sebastian let his look of suspicion dissipate and took a sip. Agni made the best coffee, and Bard fixed it exactly how he liked it: just a hint of cream and a dust of sugar.

“Anywhere hurting particularly bad today?” Bard asked softly, stroking Sebastian’s leg so lightly it almost tickled.

“I can stretch myself,” Sebastian snapped.

Bard sighed, and Sebastian realized he wasn’t smoking. Bard was so connected to his cigarettes it felt off when he didn’t have one dangling from his lips. “Bas, I like massaging you. I know you are more than capable of handling things yourself; doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you feel better.” As he spoke, Bard’s large, rough hands wandered along Sebastian’s thin legs, thumbs gently testing for the tightest spots.

Didn’t take him long to find the spasm that had caused Sebastian so much pain. Using gentle pressure, moving his thumbs in circles on one side while the rest of his fingers methodically massaged the muscles to relax.

Sebastian took another sip of his coffee before setting it aside so he could let his eyes drift closed and focus on how good Bard’s hands felt.

Bard spoke softly, mostly little words of encouragement and love as he worked, methodically finding the tightest spots and soothing them.

Sebastian felt his entire body—even the nearly always tense muscles in his back—relax into Bard’s touch. Massaging and stretching himself definitely never felt this good.

Letting his head fall back, Sebastian gripped the sheets, moaning. He knew it was temporary, but Bard seemed to be melting away all his pain and tension, and the higher his hands moved, the better it felt.

By the time Bard’s magic fingers were rubbing circles in Sebastian’s inner thigh, his morning wood had gone full mast, tenting his neglige.

“You know,” Bard said, shifting so his hot breath ghosted over Sebastian’s silk-sheathed cock, “I could probably help you with some other stiffness.” He guided one hand up along Sebastian’s inner thigh, brushing his balls and teasing the base of his cock.

Sebastian let out an obscene noise and arched his back, hands pressed to the mattress to try and help guide his cock nearer Bard’s mouth. He’d been too busy and hurting too much lately for sex, so even just this little bit of teasing was making him desperate.

“Bard. Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” Sebastian heard the smirk in Bard’s voice, and a moment later the cool room air hit his exposed cock as Bard shifted the neglige out of the way.

Sebastian whined unconsciously.

“I love the sounds you make.” Bard lapped at the crown of Sebastian’s cock as if sampling the pre-come, then took just the head in his mouth, suckling softly in a way he knew drove Sebastian wild.

“Gah—ugh—Bard,” Sebastian said through heaving breaths. He would not last long if Bard hit all his hot spots right away. They’d only just started and he could already feel his cock growing stiffer.

Bard gripped the base, keeping the head pressed between the flat of his tongue and palate as he sucked, dipping occasionally to take more of the length, always finishing with edging the top of his tongue along the frenulum.

Sebastian felt his stomach tensing and his balls draw up as his breath stuttered and pleasure began to peak.

Bard shifted a hand to Sebastian’s taint, stroking and massaging because he knew how good it made him feel. Short of a cock—or two—in his ass, Bard had discovered early how much Sebastian enjoyed this. If they had more time, he might have kissed and sucked the delicate skin there.

Bard increased his pace, letting Sebastian’s cock slide along the roof of his mouth, taking more and more each pass.

Sebastian found Bard’s head and gripped it tightly so he could ensure he stayed right where he wanted. “Yes. Yes. Bard.” Just a few more seconds . . .

A sudden loud pounding on the front door momentarily distracted them both, Bard starting to pull away.

“No. Please. Don’t stop,” Sebastian half pleaded and half ordered, trying to shove Bard back in place. He didn’t want to lose this. Not when he was so close. Not when this was the first time in what felt like ages he’d gotten to enjoy how fucking good Bard was at giving head.

The pounding on the door continued, but Bard obeyed, resuming his pace and technique.

Meanwhile, Sebastian screwed his eyes closed, focusing only on the sensations. The incredible, moist heat of Bard’s mouth. The texture of his tongue as it tickled the skin of his cock. The wet suckling sounds as he bobbed. And that thumb rubbing just behind his balls.

“Bard—Bard, I—”

Before Sebastian could finish his warning, Bard engulfed the entire length and sucked hard, almost painfully so.

A sudden scream tore from Sebastian’s mouth. His vision went white as his body tensed, spilling down Bard’s throat.

Then all tension left him, and his hand fell to the mattress, his breathing still rough, but slowing, as pleasure hummed through every cell in his body.

Bard wiped his mouth with his forearm, smoothing Sebastian’s stomach and side tenderly. “Feel better?”

Nodding, Sebastian forced his eyes open all the way and smiled at Bard. “Yes. Thank you. Fuck, you’re so good at that.”

Bard hummed proudly. “Though you were pretty backed up. We may have to change the sheets.” Bard gently wiped Sebastian’s softening cock, down along his balls and taint, and his thighs with the top sheet, removing any traces of semen and saliva that remained.

Sebastian held up an arm, beckoning Bard near. Once he was close enough, he grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged him down into a sloppy, passionate kiss. Feeling Bard’s hard-on rub against his leg and stomach as they their tongues slid over each one another, and Sebastian tasted the subtle saltiness lingering from his seed made the embers of lust begin to rekindle. Spent dick or not, Sebastian wished he could feel Bard’s thick cock inside him next.

But the pounding resumed, more insistent, so they broke away. “Guess we’ll have to continue this later,” Bard said with a smirk.

Sebastian toyed with Bard’s hair; he hadn’t yet used Brilliantine to keep the longer top strands slicked back, and they fell chaotically about his forehead. A warm, happy smile slipped onto Sebastian’s face.

“I love you,” Sebastian said, fighting the pull of sleep. He couldn’t afford to stay in bed any longer, not when he had to add laundry to his list of tasks for the day.

Bard cupped Sebastian’s face, thumb brushing just beneath his eye. “Glad I asked for your number that night at the club couple years back.”

Sebastian slid his fingers along Bard’s forearm until his hand laid on top of Bard’s, still caressing Sebastian’s cheek. “Me too. You should get the door before the neighbors call the police.”

Bard chuckled as he climbed off the bed and fixed his shirt and hair so it wasn’t completely obvious what they’d been up to when they got interrupted. “Sorry, your coffee must be cold.”

Now it was Sebastian’s turn to laugh. “I forgive you.”

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin and MC’s High School History- Detailed Timeline

Dedicated to my amazing and kind friend @cheri-cheri- one of the Queens of the MLQC fandom on Tumblr! I literally didn’t know how to use it before but I had learnt how in order to keep up with her posts. Without her work, I literally wouldn’t be on here making my own blog either. Thank you, Cheri!!

This is a timeline following the years of high school that MC and Gavin had together. Compiled of dates, rumours and secrets, calls, texts, and other from multiple servers. The source will be shown allocated to its corresponding sentence. I created this because I was really moved when I rewatched Gavin’s Old Days Date and suddenly thought of the many things other players could have missed out on regarding their high school years. If there is anything you need clarification on, or if you would like to add anything in, feel free to send a post/ask or just comment and I’ll try to incorporate and adjust accordingly! 

Based off of true correspondence of the Chinese education system in Shanghai, where the schools there are very strict, with specific responsibilities and events students must have and attend to. In addition, this is different from Western school systems where years 7-9 are in a seperate schools from years 10-12 before university. Dates and seasons mentioned will also be noted as accurately as possible to suit the Loveland storyline in which different events occurred. I felt like a detective trying to piece a fractured storyline together to solve a mystery, honestly...

Prepare your tissues, your milk tea and your soul because even I almost didn’t make it to publish this...

Timeline

2008

Gavin enters high school.

2009

MC and Minor enter high school. MC does her hair in a nice ponytail, one of the only hairstyles she ever had in school.

Gavin is a grade above her. He is in his last year of high school. [Spring Festival Date]

Late Autumn of October 2010

“I noticed who you were before you ever noticed me.” 

On a rainy first day of school, Gavin helps Mr Keller move the tables and chairs in the classroom. 

Without taking an umbrella, Gavin leaves. 

At the same time, MC saves a cat in the rain with her handkerchief, attempting to shield it from the incoming rain under a roof. She gives it snacks from her bag while sheltering it from the rain. 

Gavin thinks she was nerdy-looking, but couldn't take his eyes off her and watches her from a distance for a long time. He feels out of place standing.

She looks back at him in astonishment, not knowing how long he stood for. 

She smiles at Gavin.

Gavin notes that MC’s smile just like her eyes, were pure and comforting as they start filling his vision. 

The rain starts to get heavier and MC shivers. 

Something stirred in Gavin’s heart as he notices this, and kicks a can in frustration then shelters her with his jacket. 

He runs away as MC shouts, “thank you!” 

She didn’t know it was Gavin who gave her his jacket at the time.

MC goes back and is then told by her fellow classmates that the boy she encountered was the “tyrant school bully”,  and “the Underworld Senior Gavin”, and that she should stay away from him. [Tilted Time- Rumours and Secrets]

-

MC finds piano dull to play the same songs over and over again.

MC in her spare time practices and sings to Liszt’s Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream) for a talent show.

At the rooftop, Gavin is wounded by a gangster’s knife. A gradually intensifying melody is heard. 

Gavin kicks the gangster boss but then is pursued again. Outnumbered, wounded and losing consciousness due to major blood loss, the gangster boss kicks Gavin off the roof. 

Gavin reaches out, to something- anything. 

A heavy, surging melody sounded, transcending through time and allows Gavin to reflect on his past- to his father, to his late mother, and invokes deep reflection and epiphanies. 

Heavy notes seep into Gavin’s ears as he almost hits rock bottom. He feels his limbs emerging with the wind and awakens his wind evol. 

Gavin is now reborn.

The music continued to play. Gavin ends up humming with a bird. 

He then hears MC’s singing.

MC stops, mesmerised by the ginkgo leaves flying through the wind. The ginkgo leaves falling was her favourite time of the year in high school. This vivid sight is still engraved in her memory after many years.

Gavin vows to protect her for the rest of his life. [Campus Date]

-

Gavin saved Minor from bullies. 

Minor also happens to be MC’s outgoing, talkative desk mate who sometimes helped old ladies cross the street. How he managed to hang around Gavin and not get beaten up, nobody knew (except us). He would often copy MC’s homework but never dragged her down with him if he got caught. This was MC’s biggest impression of him. 

During science class, MC cooked noodles for Minor on the Bunsen burner when he was hungry. The recipe was Shrimp flavoured instant noodles, mix two eggs in well, then add a dab of sea salt and black pepper. [S1 Chapter 7-1]

-

Gavin is always at the school gates at 7:30am. Carrying his flat school bag, he orders fish balls at the snack kiosk on the north side of the school. It was the third day in a row that Minor notices this. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Gavin would occasionally travel around on his bicycle. (Pre-debut Sparky??) He says he was good at riding it. [Lost Love Date]

It was hard to find Gavin as he’s rarely at school, so she didn’t see him until 3 days later when MC went to the library at sunset. 

She tries to retrieve “Byron’s Poetry Collection” from the top of a 2-metre shelf, and since Gavin was a head taller, he was able to help her get it. 

He musters up the introduction that he recited many times- but MC quickly thanks him and leaves before he could speak.

Minor notices Gavin watching after MC and that he was SMIL-ING. 

He helps him locate MC and reports that every day after school she would go to the library for afternoon revision, always sitting in the same seat. 

Gavin sat at a corner not far, quietly flipping through textbooks he hated. People who were reading in the library would be driven away because they were scared of him LOL

MC would then leave at 5pm sharp to go back home. 

Gavin commits to walking back 10 metres behind her with Minor every day on forward. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 

-

Gavin saves Minor from bullies again. Minor dedicates himself to be his “bro”. 

He finds out that MC is an honours student, but doesn’t know that she’s the school orchestra leader. [Mystery Wings Event] and [Mark Date] However, he does know that she’s renowned as the “campus belle/ school flower”.

Minor idly mentions that more people were giving MC love letters.

Gavin tells Minor to collect all the people who were planning to confess their love to MC. Minor doesn’t want to be wingman anymore HAHA

Gavin stared those boys down as they trembled with fear. He tells them to take them back and if they scare her, he’ll make them regret it. 

Minor realises Gavin’s feelings for MC. [Minor’s Memory Book] 

-

MC eats from a small stall outside the school gate selling red bean puffs. ($3 for one, $5 for two. What a deal!) 

She also encounters the stall that sells sugar figurines [Gift of Life- Sugar Figurine Call]

MC ate chocolate sticks often at school. It's also a memory of student life for Gavin, as well. [CN 2021 March Sign-In Taste of Happiness]

Students would scramble for the small swing set in the school garden. MC never went at lunch breaks, but she watches the sunset on it after school. Gavin is sometimes nearby. MC never noticed him, but she does however notice the ginkgo leaves dancing in the wind. [Mini House Small Happening- Leisure Time]

-

Gavin isn’t his usual self anymore. He sees MC out in the library everyday and starts reading “5 Years of College Examinations and 3 Years of Sample Questions” (book for colleague entrance examinations).

MC watches a basketball match at school. She calls someone from an away team “dashing” because they won with a dunk. This has been engraved in Gavin’s memory ever since. [Dreamers Date]

Gavin found out that he was very fond of basketball success stories, rushing into the court to try hundreds of shots after. He writes “I will beat you” beside Sakuragi Hanamichi from a Slam Dunk poster alongside “not a step back”.

(Slam Dunk starts out with a boy wanting to play basketball to impress his crush.)

Gavin then injures his head badly :(

He realises that basketball couldn’t help him to protect anything he wanted. He determines that he will do whatever it takes (to “beat” himself”). [Mystery Wings Event]

-

Gavin leans against a tree as he watches MC hurry down the corridor as she clutches a textbook. [Boundary Rumours and Secrets]

MC would eat pocky. Gavin would eat them too. [2021 March Sign-In Moments]

- 

MC faints during a sports meet because she didn’t eat breakfast.

Gavin hurries to carry her to the infirmary. [CN Delightful Search Date]

He leaves bread and milk before she wakes up.

-

MC is on duty during PE class, which happens to be on basketball. 

Minor was careless about his aim and the ball almost hit her in the head. Gavin slams the ball away. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Gavin glares at Minor as MC thanks him.

Minor also “accidentally” pushes MC towards him.

Gavin glares again.

Gavin later is continuously shooting hoops. 

MC returns late at night to clean up the gym but all had been returned neatly in the basket. MC wanted to thank him but couldn’t. [CN Basketball Court Date]

-

There was a school sports competition that they attended. Gavin participated in the 10 lap race and came first by an impressive large measure. [Minor’s Memory Book]

MC participates in the sprint race, too. Gavin is worried about her performance, and if she would faint again. 

Gavin requests Minor to take a photo of her on his phone (which probably ended up as the photo that he carried with him in his early days at special training where the other men teased him about hiding a photo of a girl.) 

Approaching the End of October 

Gavin, Minor and MC are walking home. 

The weather is cold, and Gavin notices MC shivering in the distance. Gavin, conflicted by this, tells Minor to buy MC a hot drink without telling her that it was from him. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 

MC would occasionally spot a hot drink or a carton of strawberry milk in the piano room. [Chapter 31-12]

-

Gavin one day is conflicted by their early exchange, recalling how MC looks startled at the entrance of the library after seeing each other. His spirit depletes, kicking himself (metaphorically) in the corner of the classroom at how he might have scared her. 

Minor rushes in with a pink bandaid from MC for the wound at his mouth. 

He carefully took that bandaid, treating it as if it was his world’s most precious treasure.

This pink bandaid was always taped on his heart and whenever he stepped into the swamp-like darkness of the night, it gave off a faint warmth. [Mystery Wings Event]

-

MC starts to notice Gavin everywhere. At the corners of windows, she would see his figure. At the library, he would help her retrieve books from higher places. She would also see books laid out on his table, but most of the time he would be sleeping. Beneath his overlapping arms, he sees “Byron’s Poetry Collection”. Gavin doesn’t understand the poems, though. 

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI 

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide, And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death,

-

At the music rehearsal room on the fifth floor, she would see a corner of his shirt in the wind. 

MC thinks Gavin is friendly and slowly lets down her guard. 

At the canteen, he would offer her the last bottle of water. 

She begins smiling at him when they see each other, with the small arcs forming on her lips, soon becoming smiles that made her eyes squint.

-

MC would walk along the Senior hallways and subconsciously stop at a certain classroom- catching the sight of Gavin sleeping. On one particular day, she sees him standing by the window, staring at the sky. 

-

Minor asks Gavin if he could form a band with him. Gavin rejects him. He then asks Gavin if he wanted to join the school’s singing competition. Gavin rejects him again, saying that he didn’t perform for unimportant people or have others tell him how well he could play.

MC plays “Falling Slowly” on the piano. Gavin hearing this, learns to play the guitar. He doesn’t know the name of the song but familiarises himself with the melody. [CN Music and the Past Call]

-

Whenever school let students out early, she would go to Lynn’s Kitchen. MC gets her noodles with clear broth, chopped scallions and a half-boiled egg. Gavin usually gets his spicy noodles with garlic, cilantro, thinly sliced beef.

Gavin remembers her favourite order. 

MC leaves a post-it note at Lynn’s Kitchen, “I might never see you again and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I miss you”, about a friend who transferred schools. 

Gavin knows she hates people who leave without saying goodbye the most.

Gavin, also in the vicinity near Lynn’s Kitchen, writes a post note.  “Until I met you.” [Mystery Box Game]

He saves Mr Noah’s son from an accident, immediately takes him to the hospital and pays for the medical fees. [Anime]

-

Gavin dismisses rumours of high school romance. 

“If you confessed on the 7th step of the stairway in the corner of the 3rd floor then it’ll succeed, or if you carved your name and another person’s name on the 6th tree in the courtyard at the back then your misunderstandings will be resolved, or if a guy gave the girl he liked the second button of his uniform on graduation day then the two of them will end up happy together.”

At lunch, he hears MC talking about the second button, and upon seeing her yearning face, he raises his head in thought, suddenly couldn’t wait for graduation. He tears off his second button. [Mystery Wings Event]

Gavin is just in love at this point.

-

Gavin sees one of the top students stealing money from a shop outside of school. The shopkeeper doesn’t believe him. 

He stops the student on his way home to hand him back the money. 

MC sees him at the alley then leaves.

Gavin spent all the money on a walkman he wanted for a very long time.

Mr Keller was the only one who believed in him. He said to him, “Since you can’t change what others think of you, you might as well just listen to your heart.” This had a great impact on Gavin. [Campus Date] 

Winter 

In the snowfall, the school allowed additional ten minutes of break time. The class next to MC’s stuffed Minor’s shirt with snowballs.

Gavin thought of helping him with a counterattack but MC had already returned a snowball to the male student who pulled the prank. 

Gavin looks at MC the whole time. [CN Recovery ASMR]

-

MC overheads girls in her class say that Gavin had bullied students for lunch money that morning. 

MC rides her bike back home after studying at the library for her finals. 

MC sees Gavin being handed an envelope full of money at Lynn’s Kitchen in an alleyway. 

She mistook it for him taking protection money. 

-

Summer of June 2011

On a humid afternoon, MC looks outside the window of the classroom in boredom. A boy in a loose-fitting school uniform ran by. She couldn’t make out his face. [S1 Chapter 7-23]

MC begins to distance herself from Gavin. She rushes out of class and goes straight home instead.

Gavin is sad. He broods by the piano room, goes to the library to brood, then stares at the place MC sits to brood some more. 

Minor wonders how he’s able to stare all afternoon at an empty space in the library but sleeps all day during class hours. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Before graduation, Gavin’s father expresses his thoughts for Gavin to join the organisation for special training. Gavin refuses, but his father uses MC to influence him to agree. 

Gavin remembers the panic and timidity in MC’s eyes when she first met him. He recalls that moment was probably the hardest to bear in his life.

Gavin in his short period of freedom writes a letter to MC. He ponders about what to say, thinking about their first encounter, and how she started to distance herself from him. But all he writes is-  

“Saturday 9am, I will be at the school library waiting for you.

-Gavin.”

-

MC attends the flag-raising ceremony and rehearses her speech. She then leaves to study for her exams. 

Meanwhile, Gavin finishes a fight with other boys from school in an alley after they talk inappropriately about MC. [Old Days Date]

Gavin, bloodied and bruised, asks Minor to make another copy of his letter. 

This is the only thing that Gavin had asked Minor to do so of course, he agreed. [Chapter 7-11]

Minor thinks the letter is a symbol of passion and fierce love due to the bloodstains and decides to keep the original. 

He writes “GAVIN” and places it on MC’s desk for her to see the next day. 

(In the Campus Date, the older MC is the one who finds him instead of Minor and treats him to his injuries. She ends up seeing the contents of the letter to find him later on.)

MC mistakes the letter as a threat and throws it away. 

That Weekend

Gavin sits for 14 hours in the library waiting for MC, scanning the library every now and then.

With a fingertip, he rubs “Byron’s Poetry Collection” and carefully sandwiches a dried and yellowed ginkgo leaf into the book. He suddenly felt a measure of self-deprecation.

He stands up, and leaves, his heart filled with regret that he didn’t give it to her personally. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets]

After Summer Break- July 

Minor never saw Gavin, and neither did MC. 

“We met often, but never passed by each other. I remember every moment I saw you in school. Time, location, weather, your expression, your clothes...

-I remember them all.”

[otonymous]

“The Most Beautiful Girl In The World”: The Guys As Fathers (MLQC Headcanon)

Hi dear Nonny!

What a wonderful idea!  We could all use a bit of fluff every now and then 🤣 I hope you’re doing well too!  Sending you much love along with these headcanons!  Hope you enjoy the read! 🥰💖 

Victor:

Daddy’s little princess - this little girl is the CEO of Victor’s heart

She is also the unofficial CEO of LFG: Victor loves to bring her to work with him every now and then, and all the office staff go absolutely ga-ga over her

Goldman.  Is.  Smitten. (Especially since she has a way of softening Victor’s hard as nails exterior)

Victor likes to front like he’s strict, but he’s not fooling anybody.  Just one look at the tenderness in his eyes when he’s looking at his daughter would tell you who’s really the boss

Psst!  He loves to spoil her!

And by spoiling, we don’t mean that she gets whatever she wants, all the time (although daddy’s heart DOES thrill a little inside to see her all bubbly with happiness after he presents her with a gift) — Victor will also ensure that he carves out time from work to spend with his family (there will definitely be a shift in work-life balance)

He won’t let her get away with everything though!  The man will still insist that she be on her best behaviour when necessary, but he is a lot more lax than you would’ve expected from him

Family time would consist of: horseback riding lessons, teddy bear picnics and tea parties (best believe she will be sending an actual invitation in the mail to Mr. Mills) — you will absolutely melt the first time you see Victor perched uncomfortably in a tiny chair, holding a mini plastic teacup to his lips and asking a stuffed cat if it would like another scone

She LOVES to be Victor’s sous-chef in the kitchen, and when she gets a bit older, she’ll also become daddy’s jogging buddy

Victor will always, always read her a bedtime story, even when he’s away from home on business, even if it means interrupting a meeting (Victor will establish a new norm; his peers will come to respect his family values)

The absolute apple of the eye of Victor’s father and aunt: this munchkin can do no wrong.  If she is to be spoiled rotten by anyone, it would be by these two.  

Every time you go over to their place for dinner, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll be leaving with a trunkful of new toys

This little girl would be a good mix of her mother and father: she’ll inherit her father’s jet black hair, but the intensity of her eyes will be softened by your genes

In spite of all this generosity, your little girl will grow up to be far from spoiled

She will be incredibly compassionate, and will go from donating her many, many books and toys to other less fortunate kids as a child to organizing charity functions, etc., as a young adult.  

Victor couldn’t be more proud.

Lucien:

The shift is seismic the very first time Lucien holds his newborn daughter in his arms

“She looks just like you,” he whispers to no one in particular, careful not to wake you as you get one night of precious sleep immediately postpartum before your nights become interrupted by endless wake-feed-soothing back to bed cycles

Lucien doesn’t sleep that first night in the hospital; he spends it cradling your daughter by the light of the moon seeping in through the thin slats of the blinds

The cool rays illuminate every single feature that Lucien sets his mind on memorizing: her eyes — still a little bit swollen, the flare of those tiny nostrils, the sharply defined cupid’s bow of the most perfectly shaped lips

He is putting his face to the downy soft hairs on the crown of her head, nose pressing to cheek to inhale the scent of his newborn daughter

A tiny seed of anxiety begins to sprout from deep within Lucien to know that he will never have this moment again with her, and it feels like time is already slipping from the tight grasp of his hand

But then suddenly, she opens her big, bright eyes.  Quietly, she stares at her daddy, her irises the same colour as the ones drowning in her gaze, and the nervous clench in Lucien’s gut dissolves

And when she opens and closes her mouth in a soundless gape as if to say that everything will be okay, Lucien knows he would give his life in a heartbeat to protect hers

This little girl is wise beyond her years, and will often say things that surprise the adults around her; family friends will refer to her as an “old soul”

She is far from a little chatterbox, preferring instead to listen and observe those around her, her big, bright eyes patiently taking in every detail

Initially, you’ll be concerned that she isn’t speaking as much as other children her age.  Lucien will take his time reassuring you, an almost knowing smile on his lips.

When she does finally speak, she blows everyone away with the relative complexities of her sentence structures

Little genius: your daughter shares her father’s intelligence and can often be found snuggling up under her favourite camphor tree, books and sketching pencils in hand

She loves flying kites with her mommy and daddy

Quiet but kind, she’ll have no shortage of friends and admirers

You might be surprised, but she also has a wicked sense of humour.  Enjoys delivering jokes with the cutest wink in the world.

Her favourite place in the world is daddy’s laboratory.  The noisy whirs of those big, fancy machines make her jump for joy and Lucien cannot help but smile

There are times — especially when you guys are at your happiest as a family — that Lucien has to fight back the anxiety that all this could be taken away from him.  The melancholic tinge in his smile is so slight that even you could miss it at times.  But your daughter will always catch it.  And when she does, she’ll slip her tiny hand within her father’s much larger palm, look up and give him the biggest smile she can muster.  It’ll always bring him back to the moment.

Little though she is, she gives him strength beyond compare

And on the day of her graduation from university at the top of her class, she’ll be given a priceless gift from her parents: a silver pen named Iridescent.

Gavin:

Usually so calm, cool and collected in even the most stressful of situations, Gavin is a nervous wreck when you go into labour

He is pacing back and forth and back and forth in the hospital room.  You almost want to send him on an errand to get some popular street eats with a guaranteed long line up just so he can calm TF down and not get in the nurses’ way

He is offering you ice chips before you even ask for it, patting at your forehead with a facecloth even though you’re not sweating, giving you his hand to hold every two minutes even though you haven’t started pushing yet

When you mention that he should probably try to calm down since you likely have at least another hour to go before your cervix is fully dilated, he nods in agreement and starts doing push-ups and sit-ups on the floor

The battery of Gavin’s phone dies from all of Minor’s messages asking if the baby has arrived yet

Birdcop is fit to burst from all the joy his body just simply cannot contain the moment his little girl arrives

Because now he has not just one, but TWO of you!

Your daughter will be the splitting image of you, except for her striking amber eyes

The names she gives her stuffed animals will be strangely familiar: Fluffy, Softy, Pearly Jr., etc. (you’ll have to ask her whether daddy helped with the naming 🤣).

Minor’s enthusiasm cannot be dampened: he is over so often with food, diapers and offers to do the housework that you basically have to make him your child’s godparent LOL

Gavin is a giant teddy bear when it comes to your daughter: he cannot say no to her and lives to see her smile

She is gifted with her father’s athleticism, and Gavin won’t hesitate to personally instruct her on the art of self-defence starting at a very young age (needless to say, any future suitors will be given very intense once-overs by Gavin, even little boys at the playground; you can never let your guard down)

Eli is on Gavin’s watch list the moment G-man overhears her shyly asking you about “daddy’s handsome coworker” the year she turned 8

Yes, she will also be getting a bracelet with a GPS tracker LOLOL

She is incredibly strong: could probably toss Minor around like a burlap sack by the time she’s 12

This little girl is all about the thrills, screaming, “Go higher, daddy!  Higher!” in Gavin’s ear as he flies with her on his shoulders

He will take her to the BEST places for stargazing at night (when she’s old enough to stay up) — best believe this is something G-man will lament the loss of when she’s all grown up

Yes, the motorcycle will be her ride of choice the moment she gets her licence (much to her parents’ chagrin)

Gavin cannot help but tear up every time he watches her play the piano, especially if she plays with her mother at the same time

Psst!  He has a photo in his study of the two of you sitting next to each other on the piano bench, the late afternoon sun streaming in through big, French windows, dappled by leaves falling from the ginkgo tree planted in the backyard

He only wishes his mother could’ve been there to see his beautiful baby girl

Kiro:

This little star charms absolutely everyone at first sight: the doctors and nurses that help deliver her are completely enamoured with this little bundle of joy

Tears are streaming from Kiro’s bright blue eyes the moment she is placed into his arms for the first time; he’ll bend over to give you the biggest kiss while gently cradling the baby, the salt of your tears mixing together

This little girl has the best laugh: clear and bright and like music to the ears of anyone lucky enough to hear it.

And she laughs often — daddy is hell-bent on filling her childhood with love and joy and will do anything to make her smile

You’ll often see Kiro crawling around the house on hands and knees, your daughter shrieking with laughter as she tugs on his golden hair, yelling “Giddy-up!” over and over again

Genetics aside, let’s just pretend that her hair is long and golden like her father’s.  At times, she literally looks like a doll come to life, especially with those azure eyes

Budding superstar: this girl has inherited her father’s talents when it comes to acting and music.  She is hitting those high notes, projecting that beautiful voice and basically hamming it up all the time just to get a laugh from her adoring family.

Kiro will “complain” about double standards because Savin will always have a tasty treat for her whenever he sees her, saying “Make sure your daddy doesn’t get any, okay?” LOL

At the same time, Kiro decides to (gasp!) cut down on his junk food habit when his daughter is born.  He actually already started out of solidarity during your pregnancy, and wants to be healthy so he can have as much time as possible with his beloved family

Kiro also cuts back on his workload when his little girl arrives.  This daddy is super involved in all aspects of taking care of his baby and his wife.  You’ll never hear him complain about having to change a dirty diaper.  In fact, he even does it better than you do — no leakages here! LOL

Kiro LOVES to dress his daughter up and will often wear matching outfits with her.  Baby and daddy denim overalls?  Check.  Father-daughter couture?  Check.  

Baby globetrotter: you guys will tag along with Kiro when he flies overseas to shoot on location.  Kiro loves having you and the baby near.

When she gets a bit older, you can bet that they’ll be the best gaming buddies (you’ll insist on her having completed her homework first, but Kiro will secretly let her play one game before she starts - “just don’t tell your mom, or else we’ll both be in trouble!”)

Charming and bright, your daughter is also a bit of a tech wiz.  Learns to code at a very young age under her father’s tutelage, and enjoys building computers from scratch as a hobby.

This little girl carries joy with her wherever she goes, spreading it around like warm sunshine

Shaw:

Shaw is soft, soft, soft the moment he becomes a father

He could be blasé about everything else, but not when it comes to his daughter, the absolute treasure of his heart along with his wife

There will be times that you wake up in the middle of the night and find his side of the bed empty.  You’ll hear his footsteps, softly pacing back and forth before a large window as he tries to sooth your infant daughter back to sleep.  Shaw will look like he literally stepped out of a ‘90s Calvin Klein ad campaign, topless and clad only in low slung pyjama bottoms as he cradles your daughter in his arms, the muscles of his biceps bulging in the pale moonlight that casts a silvery glow on his lavender hair.

(Example of a Calvin Klein ad from the 1990s)

Guess your thirst will have to wait till your daughter falls asleep again to be slaked LOL

This little girl will have her father’s amber eyes as well as the fine features of his face — she will slay all the kids in school with her beauty

Loves to snark her dad but is all sweetness to you (Psst! Shaw (not-so) secretly loves it!)

A fast-talker and quick-witted: sometimes, you think you can actually hear her mind working

Absolutely loves her daddy’s skateboard and would much rather learn new tricks on her own board than play with more age-appropriate toys

She is also a bit of a bookworm: loves to read and is often surprising you with new topics of interest, everything from ancient civilizations to meteorology

Your little girl will often snuggle up to him and ask him what he is reading.  Shaw will then proceed to read to her, even if it’s a paper or a textbook.  Her quick mind has been able to grasp even abstract concepts from a very young age.  She’s a bit of a genius in that respect.

Inherits her dad’s love of music.  The two of them will enjoy rocking out in the basement the moment she is big enough to properly hold an electric guitar (with you sneaking peeks every 5 minutes to make sure she’s still got her protective headphones on LOL)

She’ll take after her dad in that she’ll seem uncomfortable with the concept of authority starting at a very young age.  She questions nearly everything and will drive many of her teachers up the wall, although they will also recognize the extent of her incredible intellect.  She’ll set herself apart at school as a leader, having also the charisma to charm those who would wish to follow

Her dad, of course, is absolutely ecstatic to have a daughter capable of thinking for herself instead of blindly following others (and you will be too!)

🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣

Thanks so much for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚 

(Please do not copy/alter/edit/repost my work - thanks!)

[missinghan]

caged in this lullaby ⤖ lee felix

❖ genre : assassin au; cop au; action; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 7,2k.

❖ warning : explicit language, mentions of blood, arson & violence 

❖ summary : felix ultimately lets go of all and allows himself to drown in the ashes of bitter tragedy to see what stays. the last thing he’d expect is a stranger with his greatest secret. 

❖ dedicated to @blueprint-han​ : a continuation of aria of an assassin. song used — the lullaby by sophism, all credits to the owner. 

prologue.

Fire cares not for the time it vanishes, only that it gives the world heat and light.

The entire building burns deeply in red, orange, and yellow. The cries of the neighborhood echoes into the night with sirens blaring in the background. Your frozen figure can only watch in terror as glowing embers dance and twirl, searing through the ground, ripping through the roof in despair. Tendrils of smoke are reaching into the sky desperately as if attempting to escape the blazing inferno below.

“Kid, I wanna have Chinese for dinner today.”

“Okay, and I should care because…?”

“Because I’m housing your ungrateful ass.”

No. No!

You drop the plastic bags in your hand, your muscles move before your mind can register what’s happening. The next thing you know, you’re racing to the heart of danger, utterly unfazed about the fact that fire is the most beautiful weapon of them all. Powerful. Destructive. Heartless. In mere moments, everything you love can be reduced into nothing but sheer ashes.

“But we always have Chinese!”

“Who’s paying again? Was it you? No, I don’t think so.”

Tears blur your vision and you elect to ignore every white noise buzzing at the back of your head. Each step you take is rather a negotiation than an order. Your limbs move like they never belonged to you. This agony has an unpleasant warmth to it, eating at your stomach and searing inside your rib cage. Your body concedes to the torment, unable to bring a single thought into consideration. The entirety of your existence yearns to curl into something fetal, something primeval, and all while the pain burns and radiates.

“Officer! Stop her! She’s running into the fire!”

“Child! What are you doing?! It’s dangerous!”

But what you’re going through is nothing compared to his torment. He’s in there. Writhing and suffering alone. It must be so painful, so cold despite the enraged flames around him. 

When a strong pair of arms slip around your body and every motion comes to a stop, there is a scream of the mouth and lungs, the sound of his name lingers on the tip of your tongue. Because a response is impossible, there comes a scream of the eyes and soul, the kind that bypasses the ears and speaks right to the heart. 

You forget how to scream from that day on because you are either left with dead silence or punished with cruelty. 

Because you couldn’t save him.

one.

The housekeeper wakes with a tight knot in her stomach. Her body topples the sheets over to reach for her nightstand, flickering on some source of light. Only silence accompanies the hard throbbing inside her chest until a loud thud comes from the hallway. Her body jolts up instantly, a hand over her chest as a soft string of melody saunters into the emptiness of the night.

“When the night is falling, and you have lost your way.”

Her quivering figure quickly exits her room with a flashlight. Her right hand clutches at her other one as an attempt to stop the shaking as adrenaline sears through her vessels. With dreaded steps, the housekeeper manages to reach the staircase, approaches the end of it, and proceeds toward the living room.

“When the rain is storming, and your world’s turned to gray.” 

The voice smoothly slips through the chilling nightfall like an allure yet there’s nothing musical about it. The lullaby sometimes goes off-tune or comes out in broken waves as though whoever’s singing genuinely doesn’t care. They sound more dead than angry, more tired than irate, making her innards shift uneasily. 

“When the wolves await outside, and you feel like you’ve nowhere to hide.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, just remember. Remember when I said.”

And they stop. The housekeeper musters up every bit of courage left. A breath in. A breath out. 

In the darkroom, even the ticking clock has a relaxed feeling, as if it’s merely a heart-beat at rest. She feels as though the air moves like cool water and the aroma of the house owner’s scented candles infuse her far more deeply than it did in the light of day. The hollow space is etched with charcoal, the fabrics are muted hues as if they too await dawn to ignite their colors for all to see. The moment she heaves a sigh of relief, her eyes make the mistake of averting to the ceiling, unveiling a scene of unimaginable terror.

Fear floods her system, it pumps and beats like it’s trying to escape. Her heart might as well explode right now because even her jaw is shaking non-stop. Her body urges her to either run fast, away from the horror laid out flat in front of her eyes, or to stay quiet and do the right thing, calling the police. But instead, she remains where she’s standing. 

There is Mr. Yuuki, the house owner she’s been working for over three years, hung upon the crystal chandelier. His limp body lets its limbs stick out awkwardly, white eyes rolled to the back of his head as blood drips to the floor, forming a dark pool. The flashlight drops to the floor, and so does her trembling gaze. She gasps sharply when a thick smear of crimson is splattered across the wooden tiles, sinking into the cracks like poison. 

Her adrenaline surges so fast she almost vomits, she can taste saliva thickening in her throat and beads of sweat trickling down on her forehead. At some point, she’ll have to move and risk the chance of getting herself killed.

Just then, a shadow comes into view and her legs go weak, letting her body collapse to the ground like a crooked puppet. Incoherent pleas pour from her lips as she screws her eyes shut, bracing herself for whatever comes next. “Please! I’ll do anything! I won’t call the police! Just don’t kill me, please! Please!”

Footsteps are advancing toward her, getting louder by the tick of the clock. They echo listlessly until the sound slowly fades away, only a soft response comes afterward.

“Greetings to his boss for me.”

two.

The mansion has been his home for decade upon decade, embraced by nature on the outskirts of the city, away from all the noises, the buzzing flow of time people have signed their souls up for. It is all concrete and tall glass windows that give overlooking views of the clear horizon, a chance to relax and take in the changing of the seasons from the comfort of an easy chair.

Yet coming from the hollow building is a strange sound, a melodic voice of pain and sorrow, of heartache and loss. The tune is soft, like grass on a summer day, or the tenderness in the air in which only spring possesses. It can fill one with warmth while weaving a sad tale of indescribable, rather forgotten memories.

“Darling, close your weary eyes. Everything will be fine.”

“Let the breeze wipe away your tears. There is no need to cry.” 

He’s seated at the edge with his back straight, he no longer feels dwarfed by the grand piano as he used to as a kid. His fingers are limber as they glide on ivory first and ebony after, his neck slightly bent down, tousling his hair to the front while his eyes flutter shut in serene. 

“You can lay down. No one will hurt you.”

The music stand lies empty, has been so for years. He only ever reads the notes within his mind because he goes as far as playing the instrument to this day for this peculiar lullaby. Slowly, the music seems to fill the room to the brim, then spills out through doors and windows and the cracks in the walls, while at the source trembling fingers dance sweetly on.

He knows that he needs to calm down. 

“Let your fears be carried by the streams. The twilight gleam watches over you.”

In his head, he reads through the music scrupulously as though he’s practicing during the old, innocent days, beat by beat, bar by bar, note by note. His fingers know precisely where to go and how each key reacts when he applies the same, adequate amount of pressure. It’s as though he can make the hammer hit each string in a way to resonate with the most beautiful of sounds. 

The thought of playing as a kid eases the spike in his heartbeat and clears his mind. He can still vividly remember the first time he got lifted onto the bench on his sixth birthday, his tiny legs dangled over the edge and his figure completely overwhelmed by the mammoth-sized instrument. His arms could barely span the length of the keyboard, his feet could only do so much as graze the pedal below.

“And when the morning arises…”

He recalls the mounts of sheets cluttering his father’s old bookshelves in such ways that he himself can’t remember their initial color. He recalls the tall figure seating beside him each time, guiding his hands across the keys, ones that were unfamiliar to music and the swell it can bring to one’s chest. He recalls those starry eyes staring down at him, the outburst of laughter, and the cat-like smile that brings love and harmony to his fragile soul. 

“I shall be by your side…”

Yet he never recalls a proper goodbye, only tears.

“Minho.”

The melody pauses sharply, his body stiffens at the name. Minho isn’t here.

“Minho, is that you?” Minho isn’t here, a voice inside him snaps.

A deep breath. He elects to ignore the strings that are bound to break inside his chest before pushing himself off the wooden bench. With a swift turn, he sees Mrs. Lee standing by the door with her hair in her face, her soulless eyes lighting up once they graze the sight of him. “Minho, my sweet child. You’ve come home. You’ve finally come home!” Her voice echoes in joy, a hand clamped over her mouth as her eyes brim with tears.

Minho isn’t here! His heart yells aloud, yet his mind can’t comply.

He doesn’t know what’s urging him to approach her, to let her lean on him. Perhaps, it’s guilt. Or the yearning for the warmth of a mother who abandoned him long ago. “Yes, mother, I’m home,” he sighs softly when she clutches at his shirt. “I’m never going to leave you again.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here.”

Hurried footsteps flood the hallway rapidly until the housekeeper barges through the door, simply breaking the agonizing silence. “Good gracious, Mrs. Lee! Goodness, she must have forgotten about her sleeping pills again.” She then hastily rushes to his side, supporting Mrs. Lee by her waist while bowing continuously. “Young Master, please, allow me.”

“It’s alright, you’ve done enough,” he waves his hands with a small smile. “I’ll tuck her back to bed, today is my day off anyway. You may go home and rest now.”

He can’t forget how much lighter Mrs. Lee has gotten, how paler her face has been. He’s afraid that one wrong movement and he might send her frail body flying to the floor. Only when she’s fully covered by her blanket, the stars come out to play and the evening takes on the aroma of a breezy night. He likes this, the softness, the quietness of the sense of resting. Moonlight is streaming through the windows yet his mind, clouded with grey, throbs uncontrollably when he realizes the sudden pang inside his chest. 

It’s been fifteen years…

His phone rings. “Sergeant Lee Felix, Seoul P.D,” he keeps his voice from shaking. Suddenly, his eyes grow wide. “I’ll be there.”

And I still couldn’t do anything for you.

three.

Light fog seeps into the depthless night when Felix exits his car, throwing on his blazer in a hurry as he staggers toward a water fountain. There’s barely any vehicles operating at this hour, leaving the streets chilling and empty. He quickly checks his watch one last time. One AM on the dot. Another sleepless night.

“Lix! Over here!”

His blank expression breaks into a grin when two familiar faces come into view. “Changbin? Hyunjin? You both got called in too?”

“Yeah, can’t believe the Chief had the audacity to interrupt my beauty sleep for a simple homicide,” the taller officer, Hyunjin, has his face contorted in faint annoyance, brushing through his long locks of hair with his gloved hand.

“The night duty squad is handling another case on the other side of the city. We know the neighborhood like the back of our hands,” Changbin gives him a hard smack on the chest, only to wince quietly later to himself. Ugh, I’m so out of shape. “If anything, we have the best chance to catch up to the culprit.”

Hyunjin protests with a forced smile, “Shut up, Lieutenant, I know that.”

“Alright, let’s review,” Felix hops into the conversation, clasping his hands together in feigned excitement. “Someone dialed 911 with a murder case on the line. The culprit, escaped or not, we’re still uncertain of. But they did leave behind a witness.”

His coworkers nod simultaneously as he recaps what Seungmin told him on the phone earlier and the three of them find themselves standing right before the provided address.  The house seems oddly quiet for someone getting murdered. “Right, chances are they’re still in there. We’d better-”

The front door comes flying open. A woman dressed in her nightgown collapses to the ground instantly, fear echoing through the rumble of her voice. “Help! P-Please! Mr. Yuuki! He-He’s dying! Please, I beg you! Save him!” With her face buried in her hands, a wave of laughter bubbles up her windpipe, shaking her core tremendously. “They did it again! They’ve claimed another victim!”

Changbin is the first one to step up, helping the housekeeper to her feet. “Miss, please try your best to stay calm. Everything is alright now, we’re here because you did the right thing of calling us. You’re safe with us,” he gently supports her by the shoulders, his voice soft but serious. “If it’s okay for me to ask, what exactly happened to Mr. Yuuki? Is there anyone else inside?”

The housekeeper seems to still be shaken. Tears are threatening to fall but she bites them back, shaking her head to answer the second question first. “N-No, Mr. Yuuki has a son but he’s currently studying in Europe so I’m the only one other than…” 

Her voice trails off, the pools of tears in her eyes are clouded with those moments of horror she wishes she could erase forever. “It was horrible! I-I was having trouble sleeping before a strange sound woke me up completely. Someone was singing. Th-The culprit was singing. And there was s-so much blood. Mr. Yuuki was hung upon the chandelier when I went downstairs! So-So much blood. I didn’t know how- or why- I- I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know!”

“Miss, please try to stay calm. I won’t ask you any more questions, I am not here to interrogate you,” Changbin exhales deeply, looking over at his underlings. “Hyunjin, go check up on Mr. Yuuki. Felix, look for the culprit. I’ll call Seungmin for more back-ups.”

The two officers comply, “Roger that.”

Entering the house, Felix is bathed in a whirlwind of chilling silence and utter darkness. The smell of blood makes something inside him twitch, prompting him to look over at his friend. “I’ll go upstairs, you stay down here and handle the body until Jisung or Seungmin comes.” 

The Sergeant advances up the long flight of stairs with his gun clutched between his hands. Almost immediately, he takes notice in the stream of moonlight illuminating the end of the hallway and rushes toward the wide-opened door. His figure barges into the room with caution and is met with the night breeze kissing his face and white curtains fluttering gently. 

Just then, a loud bang is heard in the distance. 

Felix feels himself tense up, eyes darting from one place to another in hopes of finding- there! On the rooftop from across the streets. 

In a heartbeat, he picks up his transceiver and speaks, “I have eyes on the suspect. Pursuing on foot.” With his feet on the window frame and his arms on the tiles of the roof, he manages to lift himself while his muscles contract in pain. Facing forward, Felix begins to sprint. 

The wind screams into his ears, his feet flying over steel and leaves. His shoes pound heavily across the hard surface, causing what’s remaining of the downpour this morning to slash up his legs. From one rooftop to another, his calves burn tremendously yet he keeps darting past houses, buildings, and trees with his eyes glued onto the shadow before his eyes. 

Adrenaline courses throughout his system; he can feel his whole body working, his leg muscles running warm, a thin layer of sweat covers his nape. The cold air keeps biting at his blood and lungs but he keeps his breaths as steady as he can, pushing harder and going faster. For a split moment, his foot slips when his mind is frantic with cloudy thoughts. How is it possible for one to move this fast?

The hooded figure a few feet ahead of him speaks volumes in the silence; they’re running. They’re running like the devil himself is in pursuit. Only it’s worse because the felon is flesh and blood and means to send people straight to hell just the same way. His breathing quickens at the thought process, trying to appease his need for oxygen. 

Several thuds of footfalls later, he finally decreases the proximity although fresh air now shocks his lungs, making him want to spurt and pass out in exhaustion. His body trembles from the consistent pace he’s forced himself into, yet his hands lift the firearm swiftly, his gaze shaking with the pounding inside his chest. 

It only takes so much strength to pull the trigger. He shouldn’t be hesitating like this. Felix stops himself completely, regains his composure, and raises his gun once again. He elects to ignore the blood roaring in his ears, the throbbing of his anxious heart, and squeezes the trigger. 

The bullet cuts through air and comes flying toward the wanted figure, missing them by a strand of hair. His face contorts in anger as he mumbles out a curse word. He missed. He shouldn’t have. He can’t miss. Missing isn’t an option. 

Felix pumps his legs, gaining momentum with each push. But it feels gut-wrenching all of a sudden after a few thrusts forward—his body is giving in. He watches the culprit quicken their pace until their steps turn into leaps. Just a few more feet and they’ll jump the other side of the neighborhood. 

He won’t make it in time. 

Three. Two. One. The figure gathers enough strength and takes one final leap into the night. His heart immediately drops to the pit of his stomach, every movement comes to a full stop like the sudden stretch of silence within his rib cage. 

“Shit!” He perks up at the scream and glass shattering. “Ow! Ah! Ouch! Ugh…” And...dogs barking?

“Oh come on!”

four.

His feet slip outwards on the wet autumn leaves as he rounds the corner, his breaths coming out in spurts, hot and nervous as he inhales deeper, faster. With each footfall, a jarring pain shoots ankle to knee, ankle to knee. Perhaps jumping off someone’s rooftop in a time crunch wasn’t the smartest decision. 

“Give me a break. Do you have any idea how much time it took me to outrun those dogs?”

“I won’t let you slip away. It’s best for either party if you cooperate. Don’t do anything foolish and mercy might be an option,” Felix clicks a bullet into the chamber, gaze falling onto the hooded figure.

In the dim light that oozes through a narrow gap lies the alleyway. It's the underworld of any town: gloomy and unpleasant. Darkness is lurking in every corner inside the labyrinth of narrow passages and dead ends. Litter is dumped on the street and birds nest amongst the sprawling rot. Moonlight lights up the pathway for him, making it easier to back the felon up into the corner. 

“One more step, officer, I dare you.” A warning like poison pours into his ears.

Although something seems different this time. They sound more frantic. Is there something that’s bothering them? “You just committed murder, you filthy scumbag. One more step, I dare you.”

“Oh, you’re so unoriginal,” they clutch their right arm and chuckle lightly. Felix squints his eyes with the limited source of light; inevitably, they go wide upon seeing crimson dripping to the ground. But as the second ticks by, less and less blood pour from the wound as though the muscles and skin are simultaneously closing up the seams. 

What the hell am I looking at?

A smirk. “Don’t mind if I do.”

What are they... Wait, shit-

At the kind of speed he never thought humans could acquire, the hooded figure approaches him in what seems like seconds. The sudden whiplash blows the hood back and allows them to bathe in the moonlight raw.

 “Say, what are you going to do with a filthy scumbag like me again?” Something sharp and shiny comes into contact with the warmth of his flesh but he can’t bring himself to register or counter it.

Your features flash before his eyes, glowing from within, leaving him in complete awe. Although you’re talking nothing but venom, pain is evident in the crease of your lovely brows and the way your lips are pressed into a straight line. Your eyes are deep pools of restless gold, an ocean of hopeless grief. There’s something so damn familiar about you. Felix almost finds himself resonating within your agony. He almost gasps.

In this growing light, your dark silhouette becomes full colors. 

But why aren’t you moving? He’s completely open like this.

“You!” Your voice suddenly trembles and so do your pupils. “You-You’re-”

Snapping back to his senses, Felix leaves no time for you to finish your sentence and grabs your armed limb with one hand while striking a harsh blow at your stomach with the other. You let out a hushed wince at the impact, falling to the cement ground along with the blade in your palm. He swiftly flips you over, cuffs your hands, and puts his gun at the back of your head. 

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.”

“Oh, spare me, Robin,” you involuntarily snort. “I’ll be gone before you can finish reading my rights.”

He nearly sneers, “Move an inch and I’ll put a bullet through your head. Your hands are cuffed, don’t you try to make your face worse than it already is.”

“I’m an Ace, darling. It’d be insulting if a pair of handcuffs and your scrawny little ass could stop me.”

His grip on the gun grows a fraction tighter, his heart starts beating faster at the name. “You work for the House of Cards?” The name rolls off his tongue bitterly, leaving a lick of fury consuming the rational side of his brain.

House of Cards—thieves, terrorists, assassins, dealers—the largest criminal organization that has been the dread of the country for decades. Just like the playing cards, the organization consists of four main groups: Diamonds, Clubs, Hearts, and Spades. The Kings and Queens lead these groups for they’re either new or incompetent for the higher ranks. The Jacks come second in commanding and are often advisors while the Jokers remain anonymous to all as messengers. The four Aces are the most trusted by the chairman and only take orders from him themselves.

“I do,” you reply flatly, a sigh going unnoticed. “Shouldn’t you be fleeing by now upon receiving this information?”

“A murder. A gunshot right across the street. A living witness,” he grits with a timid smile. “All that and you call yourself an Ace? We’ve encountered worse than amateurs like you. You’ll be rotting behind the bars before you know it.”

“I like your optimism, officer. Genuinely, it's a blessing for you to bring us light in this time of darkness,” you turn sideways, smirk, and make sure that he sees it. “Ignorance is truly bliss sometimes.”

Something inside him snaps, water overflows the cup and he instantly grabs you by your head, burying it further into dust and cement. “I don’t know who you think you are. But you clearly don’t know what I’m capable of and the fact that I will stop at nothing to bring your boss down. I will make him face justice as you’re hearing it from the news in prison. I’ve promised. I’ve sworn.”

“Oh?” You dare to glance at him again. “I never knew cops detested my boss so much. Or is it just you? Is your hatred personal? You’ve broken a protocol from the get-go, haven’t you? Is it the reason why you even became an officer in the first place?”

Shit, Felix curses inwardly as your words stab him in the chest, twisting the tip of the blade deeper and deeper as though you’re not allowing him to breathe properly. His hands start shaking; the vibration against your nape makes you exhale, drawing yet another grin on your lips. “Tell me, who did they kill?”

To hell would he ever tell you.

“A family member?” Focus. 

“Your loved one?” Cover your ears. 

“Or a close friend, perhaps?” One wrong move. 

His shaking freezes midway, his voice comes out monotonous. “Shut up.” And you’ll die. 

“Bingo,” you feign excitement before clearing your throat. “Also, I wouldn’t pull the trigger if I were you. Because I am your best asset to get to my boss. You and I aren’t so different, trust me. After all, we both want his head.”

He yelps in surprise when you twist your back slightly, swinging your arm and elbowing his jaw while disarming him simultaneously. With a swing of your leg, he loses his balance on the knees and lands harshly on his back. 

With your knife pointed at his neck, your orbs bore onto his like you’re about to set him on fire. He gulps nervously, “What? How did you?”

“Listen up, I have a deal for you.” 

You were injured, how could you risk tearing your wound up like that? His chest rises then falls inconsistently, eyes darting to your forearm. It’s no longer bleeding. There’s no way! 

“...what are you?”

“Call me what you want. Murderer. Killer. An assassin. A monster.”

Felix squirms under your grip, spatting in aggression, “If so, you’re daydreaming if you have the audacity to believe that I will get my hands bloodied with you.”

“I’m not telling you to pick a side, officer. I’m just trying to say that I know something you don’t and you know something I don’t. If we pool our information we might actually have a good shot at capturing the bastard. If you brought me back to headquarters now, I’d escape either way and you’d get nothing from me. But if you pretend like our encounter never happens, you’ve got yourself a new partner.”

“What feud do you have with your boss so bad that you’re willing to work with a police officer like me?”

“I never considered him as my boss. I never considered the organization as a place that I belonged to. No one knows who the leader is. I’ve been tracking him down for years already.”

“...what? That’s-“

“They killed someone very important to me, too.”

five.

Chan murmurs tiredly at the knock on his door, “Who’s there?”

“Sergeant Lee’s present to report on the assassin from last night, Chief.”

“Come in.”

Chan fixes his collar as Felix closes the door shut, strides straight into his office, and collapses on the nearest armchair. Usually, he’d be complaining about the lack of sunlight in the Chief’s working space. Because like any other civil office, there are enough windows for one not to choke to death but Chan has made a habit of keeping them close. Now, he decides to open the blinds and lets the light in completely, prompting Felix to throw an arm over his eyes dramatically. 

“Shut it. The lights are killing me,” he groans aloud, forehead creasing in frustration. Focus. 

Chan says pointedly, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms, “But you look like shit.”

“Of course I look like shit. You should try chasing down an Ace yourself some time. Really, it’s been a pleasant distraction from my unfinished paperwork and impotent stress,” the junior officer mumbles, dropping his arm and staring blankly at the space ahead. 

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Chan sighs, sitting back. “It just makes sense, you know. Yuuki and his neighbor were moles the Yakuza planted in that filthy organization. No wonder their leader had to send one of the four Aces to finish him off.”

Felix closes his eyes for a moment, resting his arms on his knees, the muscles are still aching from last night’s incident. His fingers unconsciously reach for his bare neck, tracing the shallow cut as goosebumps bubble upon his skin. Focus. “Enough being mopey,” Chan grins and slaps something cold against his cheek, causing his friend to jolt up in surprise. “Aren’t you here to report?”

He flashes Felix a cheeky smile when the younger clenches the cold towel on his face in annoyance. Nonetheless, there’s a twinge of faint nostalgia and affection lighting up inside his stomach—the kind that comes from long-time friends. “Alright, I gotta come back to my desk before Changbin goes off about my productivity anyway.”

“Good, elaborate,” Chan whips out a pen with his crusty notebook, eyes narrowing and turning serious. 

“The Ace escaped,” Felix starts, “After checking in with Yuuki’s housekeeper, Hyunjin and I went inside the house. He handled the body while I was heading upstairs. I pursued them as soon as I heard the gunshot from across the streets. I only managed to wound them from afar, but it’s not enough to slow them down. They were too fast so I was outpaced at the end.”

The Chief raises a dark brow, eyeing the cut on his throat, “I can see that you’re injured, too. Did they shoot you? Seungmin only found a semi-auto pistol next to the second victim.”

“No… I did this to myself during the chase,” Felix touches his wound again, gulping, “They only carried a knife, of all the things.” Don’t be obvious. You can’t risk getting them to suspect you. 

“You couldn’t get close enough to see if we’re dealing with a man or a woman, right?” Chan then casts a meaningful look at the mountain of unfiled paperwork upon his desk, feigning interest in the light reading that awaits him for the rest of the day. 

“Unfortunately, no. They have a good physique, clearly well-trained and more skilled than the little fries we’d managed to throw behind the bars,” Felix shakes his head, eventually pushing himself off the black armchair. “What about the housekeeper? According to what I’m able to recall, she did, in fact, see the Ace.”

Chan wants to scream at the mention, fingers massaging his temples. “That woman is far too traumatized to even speak a word right now. She’s been giving Seungmin headaches all morning.”

“Yeah, about that...sorry, I couldn’t be more helpful,” Felix bites his lips as he can feel his own lies suffocating the space around him, filling his lungs with water and squeezing at his windpipe. He needs to get the fuck out of here. 

The Chief chuckles lightly and waves his hands, “No, no, we’re all kinda impressed, actually. No one has ever been able to propose a mere chase with them before. It’s already a miracle that you came back alive.”

His heart instantly sinks, his fists curl up unconsciously. Felix could have died. He should have died last night. But you hesitated. Why? Why would you spare him? And why were you looking at him like that? “Hey.” A hand on his shoulder snaps him out of it. “Don’t worry about it. You should take a day off today. You look unwell.”

“But-”

A figure lands soundlessly on Chan’s balcony, swiftly turning around to face Felix.

His brain stutters for a moment and his eyes take in more light than they should, still, they widen when shock riddles his senses. Every part of his body tries to catch up and his thoughts go on a dreadfully long pause. It’s you. Standing in broad daylight without anything to cover up. Distanced a few feet from his grasp. 

One shout and you’ll be cuffed in mere moments. It’d be insulting if a pair of handcuffs and your scrawny little ass could stop me. His precinct has been desperate, ramming into one dead-end after another for a single lead to House of Cards. 

Felix can turn you in right here. Right now. If you brought me back to headquarters now, I’d escape either way and you’d get nothing from me.

“That is an order, Sergeant,” Chan grins, not noticing how pale his friend has gotten in such mere moments. “You’ll collapse the moment you head out for patrol, trust me.”

“No, Chan! You don’t understand, I-”

“Do it,” you mouth, sealing his lips instantly. 

“I just didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’ll take a nap in the infirmary.” You slap on a devilish smile at his words, wiggling your phone high enough for him to see.

As soon as Felix closes the door behind him, the spike in his heartbeat finally falls with the stiff smile on his face, his breaths short and uneven. The urge to punch something is cut short when his phone vibrates timely. A message from an unknown number: “Ten PM. The waterfall in Yellow Woods. You’ve got one chance.”

six.

Felix has underestimated the cold since nightfall. His muscles ache and shiver all at the same time, momentarily yelling at him to turn around to head back to the comfort of his family’s mansion. Yet the dark Yellow Woods seems to silence time and space, only leaving him with the urge to march forward. 

He lied to Chan about your encounter, lied to Changbin so he wouldn’t have to go on his night shift, lied to Hyunjin that he’d go home and rest like his friend always told him to. Humans have been taught not to lie but deception still exists and one cannot escape its grasp. Even Felix never knew there would be a day where he’d become this desperate. Just thinking about it makes him want to vomit, utterly disgusted. 

Clutching his gun tightly, he begins walking faster into the light fog. 

“My my, look who it is.” His frantic steps come to a halt, his head snapping back immediately. “Someone was so hellbent on giving me a headshot the last time we met. What changed?”

Felix raises a brow in confusion. “What the- Didn’t you ask me to meet up at the waterfall?”

“The waterfall is the other way, you fool,” you jerk your head back, clearly unimpressed. 

“Cut me some slack, my phone was dead! Wait, how did you- were you stalking me?!”

You can’t help but stifle a chuckle; his face is priceless. “Tracking sounds more appropriate, don’t you think?”

“You-”

“You’d better pick up the pace if you want to survive this little partnership of ours, officer.”

Eventually, he complies and stumbles through the woods with you, his feet feeling like they’re being dragged across cement. During the day, Yellow Woods is alight with the serenity one yearns for at their lowest, birds chirping and leaves rustling to one united song of Mother Nature. In contrast, it is now hollow, colorless, almost empty to a sense with all this darkness around him. 

“I never said that we had a deal,” Felix says while trailing after you, cautious not to trip over any branches. 

You turn around for a meager moment, giving him that sly grin of yours. “Suppose that you do, we need a contract. Some simple protocols between comrades. What do you expect from me? Keep it simple. Excessive details bore the shit out of me.”

“First, no with-holding information. If you know something, I need to know it and vice versa. Second, no personal questions. I don’t want you in my life nor do I want me getting my hands dirty with you.”

You hum in response, “Hmm, short and sweet. But I have my own as well.”

He gulps, “Go on.”

“I don’t work with dogs. I don’t care if it’s licensed as emotional support. I won’t hesitate to shoot if you even let one do so much as breathe in the same room as me.”

“...that makes way too much sense.” So that explains why-

“What about you? Afraid of the dark?”

“I wasn’t born this morning.”

To the East lies the waterfall you’ve mentioned this morning, which you lead him down a dirt road and right behind it, straight into a small cave. There are two paths diverged that catch him by surprise but there’s nothing he can do other than taking the left side, hastily following the source of light from your phone. Your final destination unveils before his eyes as a small, underground lair.

Felix suddenly feels cold for no reason. “How do you even sleep?” He scrunches his nose while rubbing his hands together. 

“I don’t,” you say without looking at him, exhaling and shrugging off your coat. “Make yourself at home. I’ll go heat up some tea before you freeze to death.”

Not knowing what to do with himself, his eyes roll around the seemingly confined but commodious space in curiosity. Your working desk is as big as the one in the conference back at headquarters, mounted with an overwhelming amount of files. To the right, the wall is lined with weapons, target boards, and rag dolls; you seem to prefer blades over firearms. The whole place is lighted up with candles all around, giving it that eerie feeling like something straight out of an old movie. 

Still, not bad.

His careless feet drag him across the concrete, subconsciously reaching out for the files on your desk. He can’t fight the urge, he can’t resist it. Before his mind can register and his conscience can yell at him, the plastic binder is already yanked open. Experiment #180108–Y/N, it reads. “What the hell… Enhanced strength and agility… Instant self-healing… Metamorphosis? Is this what they’ve been doing under our noses all this time?”

“No, only my parents.” Your voice snaps him out of it, prompting him to drop the files. “Your office was giving me anxiety, by the way. Thank god for home sweet home.”

“What the hell were you doing in my-“ A dagger flies past his head, missing him by a strand of hair and ending up embedding itself on the bull’s eye of a nearby target. “Daughter of a bastard,” he breathes out in disbelief, eyes boring holes on you. “What kind of tea was that?!”

“Lee Felix. Only son of the Prime Minister. Ranked Sergeant at the eighth precinct, Seoul P.D. The precious heir to one of the five great families.” Words leave you. You only stare into those bright, brown eyes burning with anger, his heart almost falling silent. “Gosh, you’ve got quite the profile. Shouldn’t you be worried about the image of your family instead of shaking hands with the devil like this?”

Felix clenches his jaw, everything is slow and warbled as he looks down, shaking violently. “And yet you still thought I’d be crazy enough to make a deal with an Ace?”

“You’re not crazy,” you sigh, grinning internally. “Just extremely desperate-“

“I am not desperate!” A lie spats out, leaving him with a bitter aftertaste. “I have no reason to be.” Focus.

A mocking shrug. “Right, you’re not desperate. You just followed me all the way here without taking out your gun or rambling on with your boring death threats. Like a little, perfect pet. Exactly what I needed.” 

“Death threats don’t work on monsters,” he croaks, fists balled and eyes wide. Even so, the way you gaze darken still goes unnoticed. “I’ve seen your kind kill anyone without hesitation. Getting blood on your hands without even blinking. You, all of you, aren’t humans anymore. You’re all a complete write-off of a species.”

Felix lifts his head, pupils trembling at the sight in front of him. For a moment there, you look sad and broken. Raw, naked, and vulnerable like the rest of humanity. It makes him ponder, how can humans be so weak yet so cruel at the same time?

“...why? Why are you doing this?” he inquires shakily, head racing with a thousand thoughts. “I don’t understand. Actually, there’s a lot that I don’t understand about you.” No! Focus, you idiot!

“You don’t have to.” Finally, you speak after the long dread of silence, combing a hand through your hair tiredly. “You know. It’s funny how the same thing happened to us. And now look at where we ended up individually.”

His brain pauses and chokes up. “What are you saying?” Cover your ears. Do not be misled!

You look away, simply knowing that you won’t be able to hold it in if you’re making eye contact. “I know you’re not the rightful heir of the Lees. You weren’t part of the bloodline in the first place. You’re simply a replacement. A second option. Nothing but an afterthought-“ 

“No! Shut up! Just shut u-“ Cover your ears. Do not trust anyone!

“—the real heir supposedly went missing during the Eiji Station tragedy where my organization ordered a bombing fifteen years ago. It’s been over a decade and they’ve already concluded his death even though a body was never found. Am I right, officer?”

Choose the wrong path. 

Felix buries his face into the palms of his hands as streaks of silvery tears burn his cheek. His exhausted shoulders shake in each rake of emotion through his frame, the fire of anger and despair boils past the seams he can no longer hold together. With his knees weak, he can only sob and drops down on his knees, screaming with all his might. 

And you’ll die. 

But even you, the devil itself, can’t save the man who’s drowning himself in his own tears of hell. 

“Welcome to the team. The name is Y/N,” you offer him a hand, blankly eyeing his quivering figure. He finally picks himself up with difficulties, eyes glowing with tears and fury. After a split moment of hesitation, his hand reaches for yours, firmly clasped and sealing your deal. 

Because he’s falling down the same bottomless abyss with you. 

Because you both couldn’t save him. You couldn’t save Minho. 

epilogue.

__ fifteen years ago

“Hey, Minho, you’re really good at playing the piano. Are you gonna be a musician?”

“Hmm, I do like music. But I’d rather become a police officer. 

“Why? Didn’t you say that you like music?”

“I’ll become anything for my mother.” 

“Then, I’ll be a doctor when I grow up! And we can save people together.”

“Okay. It’s a promise, Lix.” 

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Duke Most Wicked by Lenora Bell

4/5. Releases September 27, 2022.

I'm thinking--boss/employee interclass rake romance, yes?

The Duke of Westbury is in a tight spot. He's gambled away the family fortune (because of his Secret Pain) and ruined his reputation, which has affected the marital prospects of his younger sisters. His only option is to find a rich heiress to marry, clean up his act, and ensure that his sisters have good husbands as soon as possible. Cue Viola, his girls' quiet music teacher, whom West assumes will be able to shepherd them into high society. The problem? Viola has long nursed an unsaid passion for West, which--coupled with his realization that she is in fact QUITE fuckable--could ensure a scandal he won't be able to come back from.

If you've never seen the early 2000s era Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock romcom Two Weeks Notice... I don't know if you should. Parts of it haven't aged well, most of a cameo from Donald Trump (I mean, to be fair, who the fuck could've known). But what I do remember enjoying so much was the "hapless slutty boss/put-upon employee" dynamic. Is it politically correct? Who's to say. Is it fun as hell? Yes.

And to me, Duke Most Wicked gives you that without the horrible Trump cameo. West is something of a clueless rake, and it is delightful. He basically wakes up one day and is like "I have no money and everyone hates me--how did this happen?" When it's really not that hard to think of how this happened. He'll literally put his dukes up and get ready to fight at the slightest provocation, and everyone will be like "huh, weird". He's just hilariously slutty and fun and ridiculous, and I enjoyed him immensely.

Viola is a quieter heroine, in the way that she kind of has to be to contrast with West--but she's also deeply horny. She's been lusting after her boss for quite some time before our story begins, and it is certainly mutual once she comes into focus for him... But he can't act on his feelings, as he's worried about how a boss/employee affair (which can't go anywhere, as he must marry for money) will look and affect his sisters' standing. There's a lot of "I don't want to want you yet I do" in this book, and I was not mad at it. Viola knows that she shouldn't fall for West's seductions... and West knows he shouldn't be seducing her. But--oh well!

What I also found interesting was the presence of female friendship. There's a really cute scene wherein Viola and her friends (all of whom I imagine are past heroines or future heroines--this is my first Lenora Bell, so I'm not sure) sat and giggled and speculated about what the fuck he was doing to her in a prior scene. It was just very wholesome. Nobody made Viola feel bad for "allowing liberties", and no one acted like a total clueless idiot. I loved the sex positivity.

The ending of the book is somewhat convenient and easy, and I wish there would've been a bit more angst on that front... But I can't complain too much. It's a funny, cozy romance that does in fact involve piano sex. Which is like, the promise of the premise. I'll definitely be checking out more from Lenora Bell.

Thanks to Netgalley and Avon for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review!