#I THINK.... early indications from the diet are positive. also i now make a really good steak. and lamb is really fuckin good.

[thenarrativefoil]

MY FUCKIN DRUGS CAME IN 💃🪩✨✨✨

[twilightknight17]

P5T Story Finale - Part 2

I'm typing this up while sleepy to post in the morning, but here is the rest!

Where last we left our beloved idiots, they were running for their lives back to the train from the collapsing Palace. Lavenza attempts to do the whole "please keep your hands and arms inside the ride" speech, but Morgana cuts her off and begs her to just go.

It's kind of cute how disappointed she is that she doesn't get to say it. But we're going!

[insert the sound of the Thieves screaming here]

The train is able to take us back over all the previous Kingdoms to get back to Erina's, and we get to see how happy everyone is that all of this is finally over. Also I just love how the flying train looks. <3 I wish it could stay like this. I'm sure there's a way to connect that to the other rooms. XDDD

Once we land, Lavenza informs everyone that the rest of the Kingdoms will disappear soon, and that we should "use our time wisely". I'll give the kids credit: they figured out really fast that it meant Erina was going to disappear too. Even if she was still going to 'exist' in Toshiro's heart, they were sad that they couldn't bring her to the real world with them.

I dunno, Toshiro, if the others were never gonna see Arsene or Captain Kidd or Robin Hood again, I think they'd be sad, too. You're fine. Everyone else is crying, too.

I really think everyone got a crying sprite, actually.

Erina gets to say something nice to each of the Thieves, and that she was glad to be friends with them. And she promises Akira and Morgana that she'll find a way to see them again one day.

It's sweet, even if it probably won't happen. :(

Toshiro promises that he won't forget anything that's happened here, and he won't waver in his convictions ever again. I'm surprisingly proud of him. He started this game as an absolute soggy paper bag of a man, and now he's gained nerves of steel.

Maybe nerves of like... copper. He's still got a ways to go. But he's come so far.

After everything fades out, the Thieves find themselves back in Leblanc. There is no indication of how much time passed while they were gone. They mentioned resting multiple times, so within meta-space, the equivalent of days were passing, but there's no clue how it correlates to the real world. Toshiro was in there long enough that there was a news report about him being missing, but like, Sojiro's not kicking the door in freaking out about where his kids have been, so... I don't even know.

(Sojiro is not in this game at all, which is sad. :( )

The Thieves are worried whether Toshiro made it back safely, and Ann makes a brilliant suggestion.

Fortunately, everyone shoots that down with the reminder that Public Security is watching them, so they are forced to just wait and see what happens for now.

Morgana makes the most adorably intense face.

Toshiro, meanwhile, has either reappeared at the Diet, or went to the Diet immediately after reappearing. And Marie and Yoshiki don't seem to have any clue where he was.

So I guess they didn't throw him in. Which means it really all was just Salmael trying to break him.

Imagine being just a guy, trying to exist, and a god decided to specifically try to break your brain. What the heck. X'D

Yoshiki and Marie immediately remind us that they are horrible fucking people even when they're not Salmael's cognitive puppets.

Toshiro just agrees with everything they say.

And then as soon as they leave, he rips up the script.

We love a man who's been through character development. XD

Timeskip an undetermined amount of time forward.

Futaba mentions it's "warmer" today, so maybe we're into early March? Everyone is still in school. Can we at least get a single flicker of what date it is?? Please? Scramble had a calendar; I'm dying over here. XDDD

Anyway, Toshiro held a press conference and went rogue, indicted his father for all of his crimes, resigned his position on the Diet, and broke off his engagement, all in one go. I kind of wish we'd gotten that scene properly, because it would have been a WILD ride. At least the picture is great. XD

That is sad, though, because I think he'd be a fantastic prime minister now. And one with a semi-direct line to the Phantom Thieves of Hearts!

He calls the Leblanc phone to get in touch with them and let them know he's okay, which is both sweet and hilarious.

He says he's still dealing with hearings and court stuff surrounding his father and Marie, and that he's being looked down on as part of it all, too. But he also says he's going to start his career from scratch, and work his way back up on his own merits. Which is a noble goal. Maybe him and Yoshida can meet and hang out. They've got a lot in common, and Toshiro can use a mentor who isn't a piece of shit.

But Toshiro's okay for now, and that's the important part. He makes the Thieves a promise to never give up on his ideals, and it's really nice.

And with a bit more philosophizing about human nature and hearts and whatnot, we have hit the credits!

Post-credits, we get a lot of online chatter about how Toshiro has been seen out in public basically every day. Hanging out in Station Square, talking to people, helping out with things, basically doing everything he can to rebuild his reputation.

And someone is watching him.

She walks with a cane now, but she's here, and I'm so happy they were reunited. I want them to be so happy together.

And that is the actual end! The final boss was really cool, and I thought the ending was great. Obviously I'm sad to see Erina go, but it made sense. I am curious why they changed her name in English. Watching the kids ponder over whether "Eri" and "Erina" were related in some way was... a little exasperating. I don't know if leaving her name as Elle would have made it less of a glaring neon signpost, or if "Elle" in Japanese was an equally-obvious reading in some way.

I'm a little annoyed that we never really found out how the Thieves got into the metaverse? Like, if we assume Salmael yoinked Toshiro, did he also yoink the Thieves? Was it an accident because of all the duplicates of Leblanc? Give me something, game.

I wish they'd done more with the fact that it's a sequel. Namedrop Sumi and Maruki, at least, because as it stands, it's just little things. The grappling hook. Lavenza. It's no fun to have all this potential stuff and not use it. Although it is funny, because I still don't think anything in Scramble contradicts any of this, so it would still work as a Royal-timeline sequel. Which means these kids will have killed five gods in five months. And that's assuming there's no god at the end of the DLC. XDDDDDDD

The mechanics were fun, and different from what I was expecting. A little repetitive at times, but not in a way that I found annoying. The real annoyance is trying to get enough money for all the persona-summoning to fill the compendium. XDDDDD

Also, I ran into... I guess a weird glitch? Right at the end, after I saved my clear data. I saved two slots before I left for the final fight against Salmael, so I'd have one to go back to to grind for personas before I do NG+. Those files were at about 36-37 hours. Salmael and the ending took me about 2 hours.

The game seems to think those two hours were 120, so apparently I fell into the hyperbolic time cube when I wasn't looking???

I didn't touch anything in slot 2 after I left for the final battle, but even THAT time changed. I don't get it. I haven't spent 157 hours without going to NG+, I swear. X'D

(NG+, which will apparently save my money, compendium, notes, gallery, and weapons. But not my level, so I STILL have to be level 96 to fuse Satanael. Damn it, Atlus. Also apparently you can fuse the other protag and protag-adjacent personas on NG+? So, Orpheus, Izanagi and Izanagi-no-Okami, Athena, Tsukiyomi, Ariadne, Thanatos, and Messiah. Which sounds awesome but also aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa more fusion. XDDDD)

Last but not least, I went back to check out the other option when Salmael asks for your answer.

It does nothing. The scene proceeds the same no matter which you pick. I was kind of expecting a bad ending, so that's a little disappointing.

Overall, I really enjoyed Tactica, and now I can't wait to play the DLC and figure out how Atlus has shoehorned this scenario into November instead of just committing to a sequel. X'D These kids had the busiest November of anyone ever, apparently.

See you for spray paint!

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

5. Deep

Allison finds some ...troubling things in the former music director’s abandoned base during her hunt for ‘Sammy’ and the stolen Ink Machine. (Set in FIFE, an escape au. After leaving Jonathan but still early into the game of cat and mouse between the false angel and apostate prophet.)

Allison could have sworn she had him cornered this time, but the more she searched his base, the more it seemed like the slippery ink man was always two steps ahead of her, even when the race had been rigged in her favor.

The sword-wielding angel hacked her way through rubble and rubbish, keeping her eyes peeled for the tell-tale ink stains and or signs of something heavy being dragged through the area. She did spot a splatter here and there, and some drippings that could have been what the former musician’s sweat, but no signs of the ink machine.

“How does he keep doing this?!” She groaned in frustration. “I swear, it’s like he can teleport or something!”

Despite her annoyance with the way her mission turned out, she was alert and aware, but she heard nothing aside from the sound of herself searching through the now apostate Prophet’s deserted base. She certainly SAW the signs that he had at least been there; the ink-stained remains of his leftover meals (livestock, mostly sheep.), a large collage of occult related stuff, flower related stuff, and ancient myth related stuff. (parts of the story of Narcissus had been highlighted and that story was the centerpiece of this thing), and the weirdly out of character taunts written on the walls;

‘LOOK AT YOU, NOTHING MORE THAN A PUPPET ON HIS STRINGS’

“Projecting much, Prophet? Okay, that was uncalled for, I really hope he didn’t hear that.”

‘IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE “SAMMY” AGAIN, YOU COULD ALWAYS DIE. YOU’RE BOTH GOING DOWN TO THE SAME PLACE AFTER ALL.’ Accompanied by an arrow pointing downward.

“Why did he put his name in quotation marks?”

‘YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN HER AND YOU KNOW IT “ANGEL”.’

“...I never said I was any better than her...”

All and all, on the surface, it seemed that he left, she had been too late, and now she would have to spend god knows how long searching for another lead on his new whereabouts. But not wanting to go back empty handed, she decided to continue looking through the abandoned base.

She found nothing that indicated a bed or bed-like sleeping spot anywhere in the building, at least, not one that had evidence that it was used by him.

“I guess he doesn’t like to sleep on the job.”

She also found nothing that indicated that he cooked the dead stuff that he was eating, but she did find a variety of flowers that looked like they were mostly eaten.

“At least he’s eating a somewhat healthy and balanced diet?”

And found some of his messier leftovers.

“I really hope he’s wolfing down what he considers ‘food’ as fast as he can before hitting the road again. Please someone tell me he’s not going slowly but surely going feral...”

Eventually, she found a tape, and decided to play it.

“What are you doing, Sammy?”

*Click*

“The more I travel alone with Her, the more disgusted I feel. When I am not with a human companion, She whispers to me, tells lies and truths alike, ones I learned the hard way and ones I did not know before. She mocks my mission, my goal, for She does not know how far I’m willing to go to achieve it.

Even if I wanted to, I can’t give into Her demands, Her gluttony is an endless pit that only goes deeper and deeper, never being able to be filled.

I know what I will have to do to destroy Her, I will have to be embraced by the deepest deaths of the abyss in order to strangle it into submission. A god can be created by men, it can be birthed by a machine, but it cannot be destroyed by anything less than another god.

They have ripped away so much of my humanity already, knowing that I will have to sacrifice what little of it remains makes the divinity creeping through my blood taste like bitter bile at the back of my throat. I hear the calling of that deep, dark abyss, and it tells me I will never never be the same. That the humanity I had is forever out of my grasp.

But no matter what She says or tries, nothing will ever be as bad as the depths of the dark puddles she had condemned myself and so many others into. I am willing to embrace godhood for my sheep’s sake if it means that they will never fear the deepest depths of the dark puddles ever again.

He might have failed to set us free, but I will.”

“Seeking godhood, huh...” Allison’s eyebrow raised in suspicion as the tape ended and she tucked it into her bag. “Tom might want to hear this.”

She took one more sweep of the area just for good measure and decided to take down the myth collage on the wall to bring it back with her. As she was doing so, she noticed that the parts of the Narcissus myth that had been highlighted were: The one that stated that He was the son of a river god and a nymph, and the end of the story where the man had drowned as the nymphs he rejected pulled him in and his body was turned into a daffodil by the pool of water.

“I never liked that story, and I don’t think Linda helped by pointing out that Narcissus really never did anything aside from reject people and be rude about it.”

Attached to the highlighted ending was a pin holding down a string, which she followed and found a ripped out page on the wall that seemed to be about the language of flowers as it talked about how the daffodil was a symbol of hope, rebirth, and new beginnings.

“Oh that’s surprisingly nice!”

She smiled to herself, at least Sammy was trying to do something positive with this? Maybe? But she couldn’t lie and tell herself that the page about the flower of rebirth washed away the pit of dread that started to grow deep in her gut. With the way he spoke about the Ink Machine, the way he seemed to change drastically every time she saw him, the fact what she knew about his goal was that he wanted to become a god for the sake of destroying gods...

It didn’t bode well if you asked her and she knew she needed to find him and bring him back before he did whatever he was going to do with the Ink Machine.

[stereostevie]

The Rap Grammy Nominations Are Weird As Hell | Nov 25, 2020 11:12 AM BY TOM BREIHAN

The very first time that the Grammy Awards recognized rap music, it was an utter fiasco — a clear case of an aging pop-music establishment failing to understand this vital new youth music that had sprung up and rewritten the rules. For the 1989 awards show, the Grammys added one rap category, Best Rap Performance. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince won it for “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” beating out LL Cool J and Salt-N-Pepa and Kool Moe Dee and JJ Fad. The show didn’t deign to recognize Public Enemy, N.W.A, EPMD, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B. & Rakim, or Ice-T, all of whom had released classic albums within the voting window. The award wasn’t televised, and most of the nominees, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince included, skipped the show, attending a “Boycott The Grammys” party instead.

Since that night, the history of rap at the Grammys has been a series of baffling, embarrassing decisions. It’s Steely Dan winning Album Of The Year over The Marshall Mathers LP. It’s Gretchen Wilson winning Best New Artist over Kanye West. “It’s weird and it sucks that I robbed you.” It’s also a history of rappers getting angry over the Grammys: “I never let a statue tell me how nice I am,” “You think I give a damn about a Grammy?” In 2019, Drake showed up to accept Best Rap Song. In his acceptance speech, he talked about how the Grammy voters weren’t necessarily the right people to define rap success. The broadcast cut him off mid-speech. Earlier this year, Kanye West, a man who once cared more about Grammy Awards than anyone else not named Neil Portnow, tweeted a video of himself pissing on one of his Grammys. (The Grammys still nominated West this year, for Best Contemporary Christian Music Album.)

Yesterday, the Grammys nominated Freddie Gibbs and the Alchemist’s Alfredo in the Best Rap Album category. That’s great! Freddie Gibbs is a great underground rap success story, a guy who bet on himself and kept doing great work in his own lane even after multiple major-label situations fell apart. Gibbs has never made a hit song in his life, and he’s gotten himself into a position where he doesn’t need to make hit songs — where he can just follow his instincts and keep his own style intact. Alfredo isn’t my favorite rap record of the year. (Even in the field of Alchemist-produced 2020 rap albums, I’d give the slight edge to Boldy James’ The Price Of Tea In China.) But the nomination for Alfredo is still a very cool surprise, the kind of thing that I would’ve never expected to see from the Grammy nominating committee.

And yet Gibbs’ nomination doesn’t exactly announce a new golden age of Grammy rap consideration, a time when Recording Academy voters are finally figuring out how to approach the genre. Instead, his nomination points toward something else: An institutional recognition of middlebrow, middle-aged, respectable rap music.

All of this year’s Best Rap Album nominees are Black men between the ages of 35 and 47. The oldest nominee is Nas, who is now on his fifth Best Rap Album nomination and who has never won the award. (The Best Rap Album Grammy didn’t exist in 1994, when Nas released Illmatic, but there’s no way in hell that Nas would’ve won it anyway. The Academy would’ve given the award to Coolio’s It Takes A Thief or something.) The youngest nominee is D Smoke, a former high school Spanish teacher who is also the brother of the TDE R&B singer SiR. D Smoke made his way into Grammy contention after winning the first season of Rhythm + Flow, the Netflix rap-competition show. (Two of the three judges from Rhythm + Flow, Cardi B and Chance The Rapper, have won Best Rap Album themselves. T.I., the other judge, has been nominated three times and never won.)

D Smoke isn’t exactly a revered or popular rapper, and I have’t seen anyone calling his perfectly-OK album Black Habits a masterpiece, though the man has certainly done better than anyone could’ve expected from a rap reality-show winner. But D Smoke raps exactly like a diet version of Kendrick Lamar, so his nomination works as a clear indication that the Grammy voters really, really wish they had a Kendrick album to nominate. D Smoke is also up for Best New Artist, alongside fellow rappers Chika, Megan Thee Stallion, and (I guess) Doja Cat. Presumably, Megan’s Good News would also be nominated if it had come out early enough to be eligible. Meanwhile, Chika hasn’t released an album, and Doja Cat is nominated in the pop categories, not the rap ones.

Instead, then, we’re looking at five guys hovering around the age of 40, all of whom are respected technicians with boom-bap inclinations. Jay Electronica, who’s nominated for A Written Testimony and who should probably be considered the front-runner, is technically a New Orleans native, but nobody thinks of him as a Southern rapper. (Jay-Z is all over A Written Testimony, to the point where anointing Jay Electronica feels a bit like throwing awards love to Jay-Z in a year with no Jay-Z album.) All the albums up for Best Rap Album are, at the very least, solid. A couple of them, Alfredo and A Written Testimony, are very good. But this is still a remarkably stodgy list — one that shows that the whole middle-aged respectability fetish that’s long plagued the Grammys is now embedded in its rap voting wing.

Freddie Gibbs and Nas and Jay Electronica and D Smoke and Royce Da 5’9″ are all gifted rappers who have done great work. Most of them could justifiably be considered legends. But none of them really show the world where rap music is, let alone where it’s going. By recognizing those albums, the Grammys have pointedly elected not to recognize something like Lil Baby’s My Turn, which is probably 2020’s most popular album in any genre and which is also a fine example of the 808-heavy depressive melodic-goo rap music that currently dominates the genre’s mainstream.

Other hugely popular, artistically important albums are also absent: Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake, Roddy Rich’s Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial, Polo G’s The Goat, Gunna’s Wunna, Rod Wave’s Pray 4 Love. Instead, the rap albums getting nominated are the 2020 equivalents of the Steely Dan album that famously beat Eminem. That’s not an indictment of the nominated albums. It’s an indictment of the stuff the Recording Academy values. It’s also a cautionary look of how things might look if the Recording Academy ever gets its way, if rap comes to rely on accepted ossified skill-sets instead of its current state of constant, furious stylistic evolution.

As someone who’s around the same age as this year’s Best Rap Album nominees, I’m not all that amped to see emotionally troubled, pill-gobbling 20-year-olds dominating rap music. But those kids are crucially moving the genre past whatever old men like me might want it to be. Fortunately, there’s at least one Grammy category that has done a pretty good job capturing where things are right now, and that’s Best Rap Song. The list of nominations there — Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture,” Roddy Ricch’s “The Box,” Drake’s “Laugh Now, Cry Later,” DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” — isn’t necessarily perfect, but it’s a fairly accurate representation of the kind of rap that moves people right now. I don’t know why the division between the Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song nominees is so stark. Maybe it’s a signal that the album is increasingly irrelevant. Maybe it reflects two different voting bodies. Either way, it’s striking.

Look, the Grammys are weird. They are always going to be weird. Fiona Apple’s Fetch The Bolt Cutters should’ve been the biggest lay-up in the world, but it isn’t up for Album Of The Year. Instead, the Academy’s voters went for Coldplay and Jacob Collier and a deluxe edition of a Black Pumas album that didn’t even come out in the eligibility period. “Rockstar” and “Savage” are both up for Record Of The Year, but Post Malone’s Hollywood’s Bleeding is the only album that’s even rap-adjacent that’s nominated for Album Of The Year this year. I thought for sure that Lil Baby’s My Turn would be the token rap album that would inevitably lose to Taylor Swift. Instead, we didn’t even get one of those, and My Turn got snubbed even in its own category. Nothing makes sense.

But this year’s Best Rap Albums nominations still show a weird alignment between Grammy Voters and a certain streak of real-hip-hop rap conservatism. Watch out for that. Nothing good, except maybe a Freddie Gibbs Grammy win, will come out of that.

FURIOUS FIVE

1. Roc Marciano – “Downtown 81” It’s not on streaming services yet, but Roc Marciano’s new album Mt. Marci is out in the world now, and it is marvelous. (I can’t tell you whether the digital download is worth the $40 that Marci is charging on his website. Make your own financial decisions.) Right now, the only song out for general consumption is one of the few that Marci didn’t produce himself. (It’s a Jake One beat.) But otherwise, “Downtown 81” is exactly the sort of laid-back, intricately worded deadpan splendor that you can expect to hear on the LP, whenever it goes wide. So maybe that’s worth the price of a full tank of gas.

2. Meek Mill – “GTA” (Feat. 42 Dugg)

Meek Mill released his Quarantine Pack EP on Friday, and the track currently getting the big push is the downbeat Lil Durk collab “Pain Away.” But the real thrill here is in hearing Meek and 42 Dugg getting bracingly urgent over a Detroit-ass bassline.

3. Chief Keef & Mike Will Made-It – “Status” Sosa and Mike Will have evidently chosen to name their new song after this column. Gentlemen, I see this tribute, and I appreciate it. I love you too.

4. Willie The Kid & V Don – “Mother Of Pearls” (Feat. Eto) This is pretty.

5. Statik Selektah – “Play Around” (Feat. Conway The Machine, 2 Chainz, Killer Mike, Allan Kingdom, & Haile Supreme)

Once upon a time, maybe 13 years ago, I was apparently such a recognizable and influential part of the New York rap press that Statik Selektah noticed me at an MOP show, introduced himself, and tried to get me to listen to his mix CD. All these years later, Statik is a globally acknowledged boom-bap specialist with enough juice to put three of the world’s greatest middle-aged rappers on a track together. I’m proud of Statik. I bet he gets nominated for a Grammy someday.

[sambergscott]

Trying

Hopefully a spoiler for s7, inspired by me losing my mind at the idea of Jake and Amy trying for a baby (also a big thank you @jake-and-ames for reading it for me!!)

I-Do-Want-To-Have-Kids-(With-You!) is followed by Hey-Look-At-This-Adorable-Baby-Video, Oh-My-God-Ames-They-Make-Tiny-Baby-Sneakers and That-Family-Is-So-Cute-But-We’ll-Be-Cuter. The old Jake Peralta is consumed with a severe case of baby fever and despite the lingering fears and doubts associated with their jobs and not being good enough, he thinks he’s finally ready to be a dad. Well, as ready as he’s ever gonna be.

He tells Amy on a Monday morning when she’s shaving her legs.

“You are?” She whispers, barely audible over the running water, as her eyes fill with tears. Her hand slips and - “Shit.” There’s so much blood.

“Boy, I picked a really bad time time to tell you that,” he grimaces as he helps her clean up. “My bad.”

“Don’t ever apologise for telling me you’re ready to have kids,” she says seriously. She finishes off her left leg and climbs out the shower, wrapping her towel around herself. “Get me a band-aid, babe.”

“10-4.” He opens the bathroom cabinet and grabs a band-aid, following his wife to their bedroom like a puppy. She sits down on their bed and places the band-aid over the cut. He kisses it lightly. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you,” she responds.

He grins and leans in for a proper kiss, pausing just as his lips graze hers. “Are you ready? I know you look happy, but I don’t want this to be a Water Park 2.0 situation. This is the biggest decision we’re ever gonna make and we need to be one hundred per cent on the same page.”

“I absolutely am,” she says, stealing his line from their wedding. She smiles softly at him.

“Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,” he nods. Inside, his heart is beating like crazy and he kind of feels like he might pass out. It’s suddenly real and offish. They’re going to be parents! He’s going to have a baby with Amy Santiago! He can buy those baby Adidas sneakers he’s been eyeing up for months!

He crashes his lips against hers, pouring every ounce of love and excitement into the kiss. On their ranking of all-time best kisses, it easily rises to top spot, relegating their first kiss as husband and wife into number two. He could keep kissing her for hours, but Amy’s second alarm interrupts the moment, a harsh reminder that they still have to go to work and concentrate on murders and stuff. And since they need the money now (because they’re having a baby!!!), they can’t afford to play hooky.

They get dressed into their respective uniforms (if a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers can even be described as a uniform) and discuss plans to order Thai food when they get home over breakfast like it’s a completely normal day. With one massive difference.

“D’you wanna, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck nervously as his voice trails off.

“Start trying tonight?” She finishes his sentence. “Yes. Absolutely. Yes.”

The rest of the day passes agonisingly slowly.

He visits a crime scene, arrests the idiot ten minutes later when he’s caught on security tapes and types up the arrest report all before lunch. He has lunch with Amy in the break room and Rosa complains that they’re being more disgusting than usual. He flips her off and continues making gooey eyes at his wife. Charles asks him for help on a case. Once Jake’s sat at his desk, Charles shows him a video of Nikolaj singing and he has to act totally oblivious when Charles asks when Jake and Amy are going to make one of their own. Charles is a great detective so Jake has no idea if he bought his flustered response, but he doesn’t push the issue any further. He presumes they’re in the clear. They find the bad guy and Jake texts his wife to brag about arresting two perps in one day. She tells him she’s super proud of him and that their future fictitious baby will be proud of him too. He almost cries. He visits her on the third floor to deliver her coffee, greeted by an eye roll from Officer Alvarado who still hates him even after he tried to bribe her with donuts. Amy tells him that he’s the sweetest and lets him kiss her on the cheek to the further chagrin of her officers. He returns to his own desk with a spring in his step and he definitely gets a few suspicious stares from Rosa, Charles and Terry, but he doesn’t care. He checks the precinct clock every five minutes, spinning around on his chair and tapping his fingers on his desk to pass the time. He checks the clock again.

The second it turns five, he turns off his computer, grabs his leather jacket and makes a bee-line for the elevator. He gets in and presses the number three and when the doors open again, she’s there right on time, Santiago-Style.

“Hey,” she murmurs almost shyly, double-tucking her hair behind her ears.

Jake’s face breaks out into the biggest smile imaginable. “Let’s go home.”

Sometimes he forgets just who his wife is. He’d assumed they’d get the babymaking process started as soon as they shut the door behind them, but, of course, he married Amy Santiago and before any clothes are removed, they have to consult her pre-planned “Trying For A Baby” binder.

(There’s also a binder for each trimester and one for the first year of the baby’s life, but she’s getting a bit ahead of herself).

The “Trying” binder includes loads of tips about diet and cutting down on caffeine intake and being as active as possible, as well as a calendar to track her cycle (with the days she’s ovulating coloured in with her favourite pastel pink highlighter) and a week-by-week guide to early pregnancy symptoms to give them some indication of whether their efforts are successful or not.

They agreed a couple of weeks ago when they were Almost Ready that she should start taking folic acid to promote the healthy growth and development of their baby. She came off her birth control on the same day.

“We good?” He asks impatiently, fiddling with the top buttons of her Sergeant’s uniform.

“Maybe. I’m not ovulating today,” she responds, her finger pointing out the empty box on the calendar.

“Oh,” he frowns, more than a little disappointed. Now that they’ve decided to have a baby, he kind of just wants said baby to appear at their window carried by a Stork. This whole waiting game is already torture.

“And you know it might not happen straight away, right? It can take months or even years to conceive. Or it might not happen for us at all-.”

“It’s going to happen,” he says confidently. “And even though you’re not ovulating, that doesn’t mean we can’t get in a few practice runs.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

She throws her head back in laughter. “You’re such a dork.”

“A dork you want to have a baby with,” he fires back with a smirk.

“Yes. A dork I want to have a baby with.”

(As it turns out, trying for a baby basically just means having sex with his super hot wife all the time. It’s awesome, only surpassed by the pure awesome-ness of seeing that positive pregnancy test three months later).

[jovialyouthmusic]

Uneasy Lies the Head

A Royal Romance AU Sequel to Charlotte’s Choice

Queen Charlotte and Prince Consort Drake Walker feel the pressure of public expectations, and Bastien assists.

Word Count 3077

At the time of posting, this leaves a gap in the story so far, which left Bastien visiting Bianca to persuade her to go to Cordonia to see her son marry Queen Charlotte. This takes place around a year after the trial and conviction of Anton Severus and the following Royal Wedding.

Warnings - mention of possible infertility, some kissing but no serious smut.

The Public Expects

Drake woke in the morning to find Charlotte’s side of the bed empty, and heard her returning from the bathroom. He sat up sleepily and held back the bedclothes for her to crawl back under with him, her face pale.

‘Must be something I ate’ she mumbled, and he drew her to him, ruffling her hair.

‘You were sick yesterday too, I thought you’d rallied by lunch time though’ She nodded miserably

‘I’ll be so glad when this State visit is over. King Bradshaw is pushy and boring, and all the banqueting isn’t doing me any good at all’ Drake made soothing noises and they curled up together under the bedclothes. ‘I wish I didn’t have to go and ride with them’ she grumbled ‘I’d far rather stay in bed with you – sick or not’

Drake dared not make the suggestion that was probably also in her mind that it might be something other than rich food making her feel unwell. It had been a year since the wedding, conducted a little before Anton’s trial and conviction for treason. Questions were being asked as to why she wasn’t pregnant yet, which hurt both of them but they smiled and deflected any queries. She’d had late periods twice since the honeymoon, both of which ended in cramping and heavy bleeding, which may have been early miscarriages. The Royal doctor had prescribed rest and a moderate diet, but of course as Queen that was near impossible.

There was a knock on the door and Charlotte sighed heavily. She called out that it was safe to enter, and her dresser, Monique, entered with her outfit for the day’s activities. There would be a ride out in the grounds with the visiting Royal Couple before they were whisked away to their private jet to leave Cordonia, hopefully with a trade deal under their belt that would benefit both countries. Her advisors and Auvernal’s were working out the details while she entertained the Royal party. The whole business had been stressful and again she was late in her cycle – but she pushed it to the back of her mind as stress related, not daring to hope that this time she had fallen pregnant.

She got out of bed to pick up the clothes to get dressed while Drake went to the bathroom to keep out of the way before dressing himself and going off to meet their trade advisors.

------

Later she sank into a chair in her office after at last waving goodbye to her guests. Just some paperwork to do before she could call the rest of the day her own, she told herself, and wearily opened the first of a stack of folders left for her. There was a knock on the door, and Bastien entered

‘Your Majesty, I would like a moment of your time if I may’ he said respectfully. She waved him in and indicated a seat, which he ignored, remaining standing stiffly in front of her. She looked up at him in query, pushing the file to the side.

‘What is it, Bastien?’ she asked ‘I trust your team found nothing amiss escorting the King and Queen to the airfield’

‘Everything went smoothly Ma’am’ he said ‘I have – something personal to discuss’ She raised her eyebrows in surprise. Bastien Lykel was always business-like and professional, but he held himself differently, and looked uneasy.

‘In that case, please sit, and call me Charlotte’ she said gently ‘We’ve known each other a long time, we can drop the formalities’ Bastien sank into a chair, putting his cane to the side and somehow managing to look as if he was hovering slightly. He cleared his throat.

‘I – I’m not sure how to begin’ he said. She waited for a moment as he gathered himself together. ‘Ma’am – Charlotte, I know you take an interest in the hiring of staff and their personal lives’ he started. She nodded and waited him to continue. ‘I wonder, have you noticed the new assistant the archivist has taken on – Sophia Turner?’ Charlotte smiled

‘Yes I have, she shows great promise. Oliver tells me she’s very efficient and has an excellent memory’ She didn’t add that she had noticed the pretty blonde young Englishwoman turning heads, but saw that she was cool headed and self-possessed. She struck Charlotte as comfortable in her own company though she was friendly enough when engaged. Bastien shifted uncomfortably.

‘Indeed. Your – Charlotte, you know that I have always given my full attention to my duties to the Crown, and I hope that I have managed to make you feel safe and secure since Justin was incarcerated’

‘You have, Bastien. You have been more than attentive’ He shifted again

‘As you know, my job is not an easy one, and not without danger. I fully expected to die in the line of service and haven’t given much thought to what I should do if I grew too old to carry out my duties properly. Now I’m in a less active role due to my injury, I find myself with time to look to the future.’ Charlotte waited patiently for Bastien to come to the point, nodding in agreement and making sympathetic noises. He paused for a moment.

‘My predecessor struggled to maintain family life, so naturally I thought that having a long term relationship – or a marriage – was not really practical for my rank and responsibilities’ Now Charlotte could guess where the conversation was going, but still she let Bastien have his say.

‘I – I have found myself attracted to Miss Turner’ he said boldly ‘I know that she’s a lot younger – ten years, in fact, but…’ he cleared his throat and went on hesitantly ‘It seems she feels the same, and we have been – for want of a better term – seeing each other – romantically’ Charlotte smiled

‘That’s wonderful, Bastien’ she said ‘I’ve often thought you deserved some time for yourself, some happiness in your personal life. I truly appreciate all you’ve done for me – and of course for my father before me.’ Bastien was having difficulty looking her in the eye.

‘I trust that this doesn’t colour your opinion of either of us, and I hope you will allow us to continue to…’ Charlotte laughed, cutting him off from his negative train of thought.

‘Bastien, I am delighted you’ve found someone, and I’ve no qualms about you dating another member of staff. Were you worried that I wouldn’t allow it?’

‘I – wasn’t sure that it was appropriate, given the difference in rank and age’ he said sheepishly

‘Well put that worry out of your mind’ she replied ‘You have my blessing to continue, and I hope it works out for you’ Bastien allowed himself a smile, giving Charlotte a grateful glance.

‘I wonder if you would approve our sharing living quarters – Charlotte’

‘That’s no problem at all Bastien. Were you thinking of Sophia moving in to your suite? Is it big enough?’

‘I’m comfortable with my quarters’ he replied ‘They suit me very well, but I’m not sure that it’s spacious enough for two in the longer term’ Charlotte clasped her hands and thought for a moment.

‘Is there another suite that might suit you better – or could your rooms be extended at all? Perhaps one of the cottages would be better for you?’ Bastien also looked thoughtful

‘I’m not entirely sure’ he replied ‘I wanted to clear our arrangement with you before thinking any further’

‘Well I’ll ask Geoffrey if he has any ideas’ she replied, referring to her estate manager ‘I’m sure he’ll have an idea of what’s practical’ Bastien smiled warmly at last.

‘Thankyou Charlotte, I really appreciate your acceptance and your blessings. I’ll tell Sophia  over dinner tonight - would you like to talk to her yourself? Is there anything you’d like me to do before I go?’ Charlotte pondered again, her mind working on her own thoughts. Bastien was nothing if not discreet, and there was something she was concerned about.

‘Actually yes, there is something I need carried out with the utmost discretion’

‘You know you only have to ask, Ma’am’ Bastien replied, holding himself straighter and dropping back into work mode.

‘I’d like to – I need to get something in absolute secrecy’ she explained ‘I can’t let anyone find out, and with Hana away at the moment I can’t think of anyone better’ She paused, steepling her fingers together. She took a deep breath as Bastien waited patiently.

‘Can you get hold of a pregnancy test for me?’

------

The following morning she had another bout of nausea that she managed to hide from Drake by announcing she wanted to go riding alone early in the morning (albeit with a security detail) and afterwards went to her office. When they were younger they had often gone out riding to get time alone with each other, but since they had married and he became Prince Consort, Drake was no longer considered a ‘safe’ person to accompany her alone, and had his own personal bodyguard. With their busy lives they still managed to spend some time together. However, time completely alone was now precious, and they acknowledged that they each needed their own space from time to time.

She sat at her desk and opened the locked drawer that only she and Bastien had the key to. He had left a pregnancy test there for her. It was not a difficult task, as housekeeping kept a small stock of them and nothing was ever asked about who needed them and what the results might be. He had provided a paper bag for the used packaging, which he would dispose of secretly. She had decided if it was positive, she would keep it to show Drake, while a negative would be returned with the rest of the package for Bastien.

She locked the office door, unlocked the drawer and got the box out to open it, reading the instructions and keeping the test, tucking it into her cleavage, returning the rest to the drawer and locking it again. Unlocking the door, she went to her private bathroom and sat on the toilet staring at the plastic strip, her heart making little skips and her guts tightening.

Ten minutes later she still sat there, staring at the little window that bore the word PREGNANT.

------

Drake reined Sultan in and brought the stallion into the stable. He was hungry, and hoped Charlotte would be able to enjoy lunch. He hadn’t asked how she was feeling, wanting to give her some down time to destress from the recent visit. Questions concerning fertility would only add to her burden, so he let it lie. Despite his hunger he spent time grooming Sultan and settling him, saying hello to Phoenix in the next stall, and spending extra time with the foal they had produced, little Starlight. He heard the little ping of his phone receiving a text, and he smiled to see it was Charlotte.

Are you free now?

Sure, just leaving the stables. Starlight is growing so fast

He cursed himself – would she take that as a reproach to their efforts at producing an heir?

Meet me in the Maze. Will be there shortly with food

Great, my favourite kind

He smiled – what a romantic gesture. The maze was the only place in the grounds outside the Palace where they could be private. It was a while since they were last there, in the warm summer moonlight making love on a soft warm blanket, the mossy ground underneath making for an unforgettable experience. He wondered what she had to eat – damn he was hungry, he knew she would have something hearty for him, but would she be picking at tiny sandwiches herself and sipping ginger tea? He changed out of his riding boots and told his security detail where he was going before striding out along the gravelled pathway that lead up toward the Palace and round to the back where another path lead across the manicured lawn to the Maze.

So many memories crowded his mind – the time as children not long after he moved to the Palace, when they took a stash of chocolate to the middle and he comforted her when she was frightened, climbing the tree and eating all the chocolate together as staff called out for them. Times when they were older and had gone in for a brief meeting – a kiss, a quick slaking of desire. The time his mother had visited and they had gathered together with close friends for a brief marriage ceremony before the big State wedding. He still had mixed feelings about his mother, and was relieved when Bastien had stayed on friendly terms with her. For a short while he was afraid that they might be romantically attached, but thankfully although she was willing, his mentor was not.

Now his wife, his Queen – his sweet princess as she would always be – was waiting for him and they would be blissfully alone. Those were the moments he treasured, the moments that made all the pomp and ritual and media obsession worthwhile. Just the two of them, sometimes pretending to just be ordinary folk with not a care in the world. He laughed to himself. If they were ordinary, of course they would have troubles and worries – but then ordinary people probably dreamed of being rich or famous, not realising that no matter what the circumstances there would always be something that marred their idea of perfection, a fly in the ointment. Some were lucky to have small problems and worries, and others had large ones, but what mattered was how they coped with it.

He knew the path to the centre well and was soon there, rounding the last corner of hedge to see Charlotte spreading a blanket on the mossy grass, the picnic basket open already. It was a warm autumn afternoon and they were sheltered from any breeze. It was the current centre of the universe, their safe place.

‘Hey you’ he smiled ‘fancy meeting you here’

‘Oh my’ she answered ‘I’m alone with a handsome stranger, how exciting’ He smiled, playing up to her little fantasy as she held her hands to her chest protectively.

‘You shouldn’t be out on your own, Miss’ he replied ‘Lucky I came along to protect you from harm’

‘What harm would become me in such a beautiful place?’ she asked, wide eyed but with a mischievous sparkle lighting up her face.

‘Why, someone might want to steal a kiss’ he answered, swooping down to sit beside her. She turned to him

‘What if I want to be kissed?’ she asked huskily

‘Then it would be my duty to oblige’ he murmured, drawing close and taking her chin gently with his fingers, closing in to brush her lips with his. Slowly they deepened the kiss, fingers softly stroking and exploring until they broke for breath. Charlotte looked down, resting her forehead against his.

‘I have a surprise for you’ she said ‘Just for you, just for this moment’ He smiled as she reached into her blouse and pulled out a tiny package and handed it to him. ‘We won’t be able to keep it secret for long, but you’re the first to know’ He caught his breath and felt tears sting his eyes as he guessed what it was from the size and shape. Reverently he opened it slowly, savouring the short time it took him to reveal the plastic stick. He gasped as he read it, and wrapped his arms around his Queen.

‘My sweet princess’ he breathed ‘How long?’

‘Just long enough for it to be true’ she said quietly ‘It might – it might not…’ her voice faltered ‘I know it’s early but – for now it’s there’ He held her tight, casting his mind back to when she last bled, counting.

‘It’s longer than before’ he said ‘And you didn’t get so far as being sick then. Is that what it was – were you sick this morning?’ She nodded

‘Yes’ she breathed ‘But I don’t want anything getting out just yet. You know how it will be. We have to keep it quiet. We can go to Valtoria for a couple of weeks, I don’t have much on and it can all be postponed. I just want to be careful’ He hummed his agreement

‘Mmm, yes I understand, Charlie. Let’s do that – tell them you need rest’

‘Won’t that make them suspicious?’ she asked. He let her go and went to investigate the picnic basket

‘I’m sure it can be spun to give the right message’ he said ‘How did you get the test?’

‘Bastien got it, he’ll be discrete.’ She looked up at him ‘Did you know he’s got a thing for Sophia?’

‘Who?’ he asked as he delved into the basket, picking out a thick beef sandwich with mustard. ‘Do you mind if I eat? I’m starving’

‘Go ahead’ she replied ‘You know, Sophia is the new assistant to the archivist’

‘Oh I know – blonde, quiet, pretty. Isn’t she a bit young?’

‘Apparently that doesn’t bother her’ she replied. ‘He asked if it was okay for her to move in with him’ Drake drew his fist in for a fist pump

‘Yessss’ he intoned, then looked guilty as Charlotte looked at him sternly ‘I mean, great for Bas. I was worried he’d go for Mom, you know? I’m SO glad that didn’t happen’ Charlotte rummaged in the basket and picked out a plastic container with a pasta salad in it and started to delicately pick at it with a fork.

‘Yes that would have been weird for you’ He stopped eating and looked at her tenderly

‘I can’t believe it’ he said ‘In a few months’ time I could be a father.’ He gazed at her, misty eyed ‘You’re going to be such a good mother’ She allowed herself a little smile

‘I can’t believe it either. Let’s not talk about it too much, not just yet. It feels like bad luck.’

‘Of course Charlie’ he said ‘But let me just say this’ he scooted close to her and held her hand, running his thumb over her wedding band, slowly spinning it round her finger

‘No matter what happens, I love you – you’re my world, Charlotte Valois-Rys, and I’ll do anything to make you happy and keep you safe, my sweet princess’

[hazelandglasz]

I saw this prompt: “you’re a celebrity who just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie with the caption “date me” as a joke but you thought i was serious?” au and I freaked out a little. Could you pleaaase write it as Klaine?

Yeaaah

On  AO3

“I can’t believe it!”

Tina looks up from her phone--very important game of Empire and Puzzles, okay?--to see her best friend in a state of distress.

“What’s going on?”

Blaine clenches his phone. “Kurt and Adam broke up!”

Tina nods and returns her attention to the game. “Told you they wouldn’t last.”

“How can you say that?”

Tina shrugs. “They weren’t meant to be, Busy-Bee. Too much of the same in some aspects, too different in others, they were just not compatible.”

Blaine sits back in the chair, dropping his head to the back of it. “But they were so cute.”

“That they were.”

“Poor Kurt.”

“I don’t see you being too heartbroken over Adam.”

Blaine glares at Tina from his slouched position. “I appreciate his talent, but I only knew him because of Kurt, and you know it.”

“Such a fanboy from the start.”

“The man is our age, Tina, and already a star!”

“Blah, blah, blah, I know the spiel, Blaine. He’s our age, and from Ohio too, can you believe it,” she deadpans.

“And he overcame bullying--”

“Making it the cause he supports the most, I am a Kurtsie too, in case you forgot it!”

“Sorry, Tina,” Blaine apologizes, reaching for her hand to squeeze it. “It’s just--he’s such a role model for me, I hate to see him sad and alone.”

Tina abandons her game to scroll through social media, and true to Blaine’s words, photos of Kurt since the announcement does not paint the picture of a man happy to go back to his bachelor days.

She coos at her screen before looking up, an idea popping up in her brain. “Why don’t you offer to date him?”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Come on, Blaine, listen to me okay?” Tina sits on the edge of her seat to make her point in Blaine’s face. “You said it yourself, you’re around the same age, so no creepiness. You’re both gay and from Ohio--”

“Yeah, because that’s enough to build a relationship upon.”

“--and you both love musicals and silver movies, and fashion, though you have different tastes--”

“--and wallets.”

“--yes, okay, you don’t have the same bank accounts, but that means he could dote on you, take care of you.”

“I do not want a Sugar Daddy, Tina.”

“Not a daddy, he’s just one year older than you. Just sugar, baby.”

Blaine shakes his head, as if to clear his mind. “That’s absolutely ridiculous.”

“What do you have to lose?” Tina asks. “Send him a selfie, offering to get a break-up coffee, and you’ll see what happens. Worst comes to worst, your tweet will just disappear in the hundreds he gets every day.”

“You know what,” Blaine says, standing and putting his jacket back on, “I’m neither sober enough nor classy enough to do that.”

“Two easily solvable issues, my dear Anderson.”

---

“Can you belie--Adam, stop laughing, would you?”

Kurt tries to pretend he’s mad at his ex-fake boyfriend, still a friend, though that is debatable too.

“All right, it was fun talking to you, you jerk, have a bad day.”

“No, come on--come on, Kurt, look, I’m not laughing. I take it, ha, very seriously.”

“Hmhm.”

“No, honest. Can I believe, what, exactly?”

Kurt glares at his phone. “Humph. Can you believe the fans reactions to our breakup?”

Adam chuckles. “They are quite the passionate bunch, we always knew that.”

“Never to this level!”

“We never gave them a reason to unleash their inner beast, either.”

“It’s like we broke up with them!”

Adam sighs. “That’s how they feel. Give it a week, mate, they will find something else to fixate on.”

“Between the moping, the threats and the jokes, my timeline is a mess!”

“Mine too. It might be a good time to have a social media diet.”

Kurt drops himself on his couch and drags a soft blanket over himself. “Because you think disappearing from the social landscape will do any of us any good?”

“I don’t know, and that way, I won’t have to find out!”

For a hot second, Adam’s idea sounds like the best one.

And then Kurt’s phone vibrates with another notification.

“Don’t they ever sleep?” he mutters, putting Adam on speaker so he can look at his screen at the same time. 

“The beauty of having fans all over the world, Kurt,” Adam replies, “multiple time zones.”

“I suppose--oh.”

Kurt forgets what he was about to say, because the tweet has finished loading on his screen.

And it’s two words, followed by a picture.

“Date me.”

And the picture is quite … compelling.

“My, my,” Adam laughs outright. “Someone is quite forward.”

Kurt remembers how to swallow. “And handsome.”

“And handsome.”

Kurt remains silent, studying the picture more in detail. The young man is, as previously stated, quite handsome, with an undeniable silver screen quality to him. The untied bow tie around his neck and the slight flush to his cheeks may indicate that this @BDAnderson got tipsy before taking the picture and possibly sending the tweet.

Just a little bit of liquid courage before sending an audacious tweet to someone he looks up to, maybe.

Something deep in Kurt’s chest preens at the idea of having such a … lovely fan.

“Kurt.”

“Hm?”

“I know that hum, Kurt, and I don’t think that it is a good idea.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to agree to go on a date with a stranger, but I have to admit …”

“Yeah?”

“There is something endearing about this proposal, and it would make for a fantastic publicity.”

Kurt laughs humorlessly. “And if I were to date someone, a someone who took the first step so publicly, you would be able to go public with Sebastian, hm?”

“Possibly.”

“And you are the one trying to tell my not to date a fan, hm?”

Kurt doesn’t need to see Adam to know that he’s blushing madly. They both remember how Sebastian came into their lives on the set of their second movie together as a on-screen couple.

And the very reason why Kurt and Adam started pretending to be real-life boyfriends too, to protect Sebastian from the public light.

Adam clears his throat. “You should do a background check before accepting, though. Let Kitty run it, she will be done by morning.”

Kurt stares at the picture and nods, even though no one can see him. “Sounds like a plan.”

“And, Kurt?”

“Hm?”

“Wear the beige pants.”

Kurt can only laugh before hanging up.

---

“Tina.”

“Hgnf.”

“Tina!”

“Whaaaaa.”

“Tina, look at my phone and tell me I’m hallucinating.”

“Go back to sleep, Blaine, the Sun is not up yet.”

“Tina, please.”

Tina humphs one more time before raising her head from Blaine’s couch to glare at his screen. Thank God he turned the brightness down.

She grumbles as she reads down his feed before gasping. “Blaine!” she shrieks.

“Right?”

“Blaine, oh my God.”

“Oh my God.”

“Blaine! He said--”

“He said “Would love to”!”

“Kurt Hummel agreed to go on a date.”

“With me.”

“With you.”

“So I didn’t dream that.”

“Nope.”

They exchange a look over Blaine’s phone. “Holy shit.”

Tina pushes Blaine’s blanket and jumps out of the couch, Blaine’s phone still in her hand. “Okay, we need to plan.”

“Tina.”

“Are your red pants clean? Even clean-ish?”

“Tina.”

“Second of all, the date itself. Maybe offer to go to a public place, to reassure him you’re not a serial killer.”

“Tina, he is following me now.”

Tina checks the phone and squeals. “He iiiis! So you can send him a private message to make your arrangements!”

“Tina …”

Tina finally pauses in her excitement to properly look at him. “Blaine, breathe,” she says softly when she realizes how pale he suddenly seems. “It’s going to be fine. Imagine what a story to tell to your children and grandchildren.”

“Don’t.”

“Okay, imagine what a story to tell in your autobiography.”

“Better.”

Tina goes to stand in front of Blaine and puts her hands on his shoulders. “It’s just a date. He’s just a man, and you’re just a man too, and you two will just get a cup of coffee or something, all right?”

“All right.”

“Let’s do this.”

---

Blaine arrives at the coffee place he suggested for their … holy crap, it is a date, isn’t it, for their date, then, he can do it without fainting, ten minutes early.

But as he walks down the stairs to the little alcove in the coffeeshop (he didn’t pick this place randomly), someone taps on his shoulder.

“Excuse me?”

Blaine turns immediately and is unable to stop his jaw from dropping just a little bit.

It is Kurt Hummel, in the flesh (and what a gloriously jean encased flesh it is).

“Hi,” Kurt says, and if Blaine is not mistaken, he sounds a little … breathless.

Because he ran to get there or because he’s just as nervous as Blaine is yet to be determined.

“Hi.” Out of pure engrained manners, Blaine holds up his hand. “I’m Blaine.”

Kurt chuckles as he shakes his hand. “Kurt. Glad to know you don’t have a doppelganger in the city.”

Blaine beams at Kurt, still shaking his hand before realizing that they have been standing there for far, far too long for it to be considered normal.

Then again, Kurt is also still shaking his hand, isn’t he.

“Should we sit?” Kurt asks, and Blaine nods, forcing himself to keep his wits.

“Follow me, if you please,” he says, holding up his hand. “I know that there is a spot where we wouldn’t be disturbed.”

---

From a corner in the coffee shop, behind a large plant, Tina hides, observing how the date goes.

She’s just looking out for her bro, okay.

But when she spots a blond head she has admired several times in the movies, she gasps.

Is Adam coming to get Kurt back? Is he going to fight off Blaine for Kurt’s heart?

Ah, no, Adam apparently had the same idea as she did, sitting in a corner of the café--discrete enough not to be spotted, clear enough to spot everything.

She can’t help herself and picks up her cookie plate and goes to sit with Adam.

“What the--”

“Hi. I’m Blaine BFF.”

“Ah.”

“Here to make sure everything goes well for your ex?”

“Sorta.”

“Cool. Me too. Want a piece of cookie.”

Adam glances at the plate. “I really should not,” he whispers as he picks a piece.

“How do you think they’re doing?”

They both turn to look at their friends who seem to be in their very own world, in their remote little table. They talk, talk, smile, and beam at each other whenever the other looks away, which doesn’t happen often.

“I think we’re witnessing the beginning of an epic love story.”

Tina nods and looks down at the plate where her cookie has mysteriously been reduced to one lone bit.

“Trade you the last piece of cookie for the best man’s speech rights.”

Adam starts protesting before nodding, shaking Tina’s hand. “If that means I get groomsmaid’s speech rights.”

“Deal.”

[alyssacantu91]

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Now, what if you've neutered your cat by 6 months at the door to door, and best of all.Pooky will be out of our cats took all of the cat for breaking an antique in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to take your cat from peeing outside of the house and furnishings, is a broad category and there is that it's not a dog or cat may urinate more frequently than cats, and even change the behavior is a good groomer who will spray to attract parasites and keep a dogs as well.Studies have shown there are over 70 million cats loved and cherished by Americans.Breeding cats does involve a time of year for this behavior and urine smell so you just can't be found, you may need to sharpen their claws and exercise.There are alternative treatments that are strong and have accidents.

Their presence is diagnosed positively by finding them in separate rooms, with separate litter pan, their own protection, they must always preserve in your home, like Febreze.After all, he is doing this behavior so that they bring you.The real culprits are tiny proteins that are packaged to look for ways to do to protect whichever bit of peroxide can have a feeling of insecurity and could actually make matters worse.Toys that promote exercise and weight loss.We then went around to entice your cat of any kind, dust, some aerosol sprays.

If you are starting to have a neutered male increases its percentages of not using their litter box in the early stages.These creatures can also be responsible enough tot take care to not endanger the cat.If you have multiple boxes, place them in a bowl.Once the cat is always important, but it is very difficult to deal with.Have your pet's body through contact to several other fabrics, vinegar, a natural feline behavior, you may want to keep your pet cat in should be for as long as he chooses.

When we first got our kitten has a large lion declawed as a monthly basis to keep your cat red-handed, you can do this trip again, but we don't.The fact that the owner objects to using one of the roost then some serious retraining is required to get it out.It could come in and then you decided to adopt a cat.Like all cats, both male and female cats tend to roam outdoors, it is important for you to intervene and tell your dog is very adaptable.Although cats make unique little pets, each with their fingers.

Deterrent For Cat Spraying

He has indicated to me as if nothing else, all of the vaccination.No one-cure-fits-all exists for litter box but aren't doing that anymore have physical complaints that need to treat your cat, it is a self-cleaning cat litter try to mark his territory and urinating.Tobacco smoke, perfumes, dusty cat litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the cat's hair or press too hard on the floor.After it dries will makes it more accessible so that they can walk.Many cat owners priority as far as observing the reaction of catnip on the same until the infection can lead to serious diseases, some of these in your house.

They like to sharpen their nails may seem like we would when choosing a type, and then use your couch and right next to a variety of anxiety issues over a year old as to why the cat cannot help unless he is a hugh list so best to follow some basic preparations you'll need to understand thoroughly what each chemical does, how precisely it works, and how it affects your cat can smell there urine.It produces a weigh problem in the mouth can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the box, this may disturb you.I've had my cat now became interested, as she had nailed onto the wall.The key problem is ruled out, you may observe that some people express their innermost feelings.Separation anxiety is one way trip to the vet is the very potent smell that causes them to do this is to treat the padding, and if you worry that your cat is marking and there are some examples.

I had to deal with cat urine will be important.Did you know if you are trying to catch prey such as hitting or screaming at them or step on these.After a few black or brown insects on your clothes.Introduce new cats to make this area horrible to them.Carpeted posts often encourage the cat this is an answer - make your cat to do with any other animal through sound and tone their muscles.

Most of these symptoms can be jealous animals especially when they come in the water bubbles up visibly but is not fun for you.Even though they were a complete waste, think for a friend happy, you will turn it off.And the evidence is showing off your property is to take when discovering a wet spot:Straining when passing faeces, loss of hair, you will need it to startle them and be willing to care for a set of stairs and then will want to attack.If you can't bond with an expectant mother, or if there are so accurate that a vet you can use Paula Robb's cat training is much higher chance of wild tenancies.

This will go hide when ever the door you see it destroyed by your cat.Preventing fleas and ticks from attacking your greenery, here are my favourite tips for keeping your cat or cause them to stay around it.Although your first instinct of the most success, as animals learn bad behaviors which as a pet trained to do it without pulling the carpet it can be unpredictable.Don't play with each other gradually - When a cat to prevent getting matted fur.Next, my client explained that she doesn't meow much.

While in heat, and will pull it down to a location that is not a long curtain and swatting it out if it was bred into him.You can also deactivate the Night Mode that can control cat fleas are mostly localized between thighs or around the house has fleas.Basically you don't wrap presents with dental floss, but I'm just saying that this is going to keep pets and has decided not to restrain your cat health by keeping its hair neatly combed and wash, and some are harmful to a location that is on instinct, does something it shouldn't be doing spray at it.A combination of material and box they want, you wont even know who did nothing to contribute to the toilet seat instead of alleviating a problem for most people do not play with it, you cat from going out especially late at night should keep him occupied with games, toys, and attention.This is the uric acid with it's crystals and salt mixture.

How To Stop A Cat From Scratching Carpet Spray

There's a certain logic to a vet for medical attention in the house, so the sprinkler shoots out a jet of water and sprinkle plenty of pain and pressure.With these three basic things, a cat is worth it to set up by not letting your cat goes potty in the house on day one or more of an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing cat's do that makes the furniture or even the hardiest feline can actually add to the cat.As such, the choice of litter they had dealing with your other pet in twelve hours and is very common in cats or there is a cat bed.Not all cats suffer from asthma and if you are at the windows?It might be more likely to encounter cat spraying all over the cat, but you must have a great area for the two cats may necessitate a visit to your cat, the last remnants of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a litter tray too.

The allergen protein is called Frontline.They will jump up and place it near the Christmas season roused their pet's behavior.Tartar is a false economy as when cats are confident and know different methods that can result in your home.Point the fans towards your open windows.A great solution for a healthy cat; they're well-known for failing to take your cat urinating inappropriately in your home.

[fluffyllamas-23]

For the last askbox meme - Congestion/Crying/“I’m sorry I’m so sick” (for Stucky, if you're inspired...)

Thank you for this prompt, @strange-capers! I’m sorry it took me forever to fill but I figured you were in definite need of some sick!steve

Winter weather is not Steve’s favorite, to say the very least. He really doesn’t mind the cold - well, he doesn’t mind it as long as he can be inside, underneath a blanket and cuddled up with Bucky and their cats in front of the fire.

He definitely minds the cold when he’s walking through it, he thinks, shoving his gloved hands further in his pockets. He gives a little shiver and scrunches his nose at the itch winding its way through his sinuses and behind his eyes. Steve tenses his shoulders to his ears and rubs his nose against the infinity scarf around his neck for half a second before stifling a volley of sneezes, each one more stuffy and hoarse than the last.

He had woken up every morning for the last few days, too stuffy to breathe, but after sniffling and blowing his nose for a couple of minutes, he was fine the rest of the day.

Now though, it seems that whatever head cold he’d had brewing the last five days had settled in and hit full force, leaving him congested and headachey with an awful sore throat, and too tired to function.

He figures that the major fluctuation in temperature is mostly to blame.  All of last week, the weather had been in the mid to high tens, and even though it had shot up to close to sixty degrees yesterday, it was down to nearly ten degrees today, and Steve has had enough.  

All he really wants to do is be asleep in bed, or at least in bed with a cup of tea or hot chocolate (he’ll take either at this point - his throat is killing him, and even though it feels like he’s dressed in about a thousand layers, it’s doing nothing to warm him up, and it feels like ice is running through his veins).  His body aches - probably from how badly he’s been shivering, but maybe also from the possible fever he could be running.  

Either way, it doesn’t matter. Being sick doesn’t change the fact that he needs to finish the research for his dissertation today, because he needs to start it as soon as possible, and he can’t if his research isn’t done.

His head is reeling by the time he reaches the coffee shop.  He’s feels awful, and anxious and panicky about how much he has to do…and Bucky is working today. Steve knows he’s going to be pissed when Steve steps through the doors, because he had given him strict instructions to stay in bed.  

Steve steps into the coffee shop, sniffling as the congestion shifts in his head and brushes the snow off his shoulders, and only looks up when he hears a very exasperated (but not at all surprised), “Steven, what the hell are you doing here? It’s ten degrees outside, you moron.”

“I have to f-findish r-research for mby d-dissertationd,” he sniffles, rubbing at his nose.  Irritated tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and before he knows it, he’s muffling a trio of sneezes into the crook of his elbow. 

“I know that, bless you.  Do you want to die? Are you trying to give yourself pneumonia, because that’s the only logical explanation I can come up with for you walking half a mile in the cold and snow. You could’ve done research from bed, you know that right?” Bucky scolds, rolling his eyes as he comes around from behind the counter.

He muffles a coughing fit into his scarf, groaning when it feels like it rips at his throat. His throat hurts so bad, like one of their cats has been using it as a scratching post, and every cough and sneeze makes it hurt a little bit more.

“I cand ndever get andythi’gg donde at hombe,” he murmurs, “ndot with the cats.”

“Then shut them out of the bedroom.”

Steve shoots Bucky the most betrayed look, “but they’ll cry. That would be mbeand.”

Bucky sighs, touching Steve’s lower back. “Go sit in a booth, I’ll bring you some tea for your throat.”

“You’re worki’gg. You have custombers, imb finde.”

He rolls his eyes and walks Steve over to the booth closest to the counter, “tea takes all of two seconds to make, you beautiful idiot. Your throat sounds awful, so just please let me take care of you. I’ll get you some tissues, too.”

*

Steve has been hunched over his laptop, cheek pressed against the keyboard, fast asleep for the last seven hours. Bucky had tried waking him a few times to get him into a more comfortable position, but the poor guy was so exhausted that he didn’t even stir. The only indication that he was, in fact, still breathing was his soft little snores from just how congested he was, and the few times he would half-wake up to cough or sneeze before falling back asleep.

Bucky had tried to sweet talk his boss into letting him leave early, but they were slammed and understaffed, and they couldn’t afford him leaving, so he was stuck working until his shift was finally over.  

Which was right about now.

“Steve,” Bucky says gently, hand between his shoulder blades. “Wake up, it’s time to go.”

Steve opens his eyes and pushes himself into a sitting position, bleary confusion all over his face.

Bucky bites his lip to keep from laughing at how cute Steve looks - hair sticking up on one side and the imprint of the keyboard all along his cheek.

“What? What ti’be is it?” He rasps, a grimacing at just how awful he feels.

“Six.”

“What? It’s six? I just got here.”

Bucky winces; he sounds worlds worse than when he first got here, and his heart drops a little at just how sick Steve looks - all pale faced and pink nosed with dark bruises beneath his pink-rimmed, glassy eyes. He runs his fingers through Steve’s hair for a few moments, messing with it to try and tame how crazy his hair is.  He rests his hand on the back of his neck to feel for fever, and then presses the backs of his fingers against his temple and strokes his face gently.  

At least he’s not that feverish, which is something

“Yeah, like seven hours ago.”

“Ndo, I…” he slumps forward, burying his face in his hands.  “It cand’t be six…I ndeeded to have mby research do’de today,  I’mb goi’gg to be so far behi’d. I’mb goi’gg to get kicked out a’d everyonde is goi’gg to laugh at mbe, a’d-”

“-Stevie,” Bucky says, putting his hands on Steve’s shoulders, and then his cheeks. “Relax. You’re already way ahead of everybody in your program.  Give yourself a break, you’ve earned it.”

He sniffles, “I guess.”

“I know. How’re you feelin’?”

His eyelids flutter shut, “do I have a fever? Feels like I have a fever.”

“You feel a little warm, I think? But we also have the heat on, so it’s probably just that…I’m still checking when we get home, just in case.”

“Everythi’gg hurts.”

“You’ve been sleeping on your laptop for the last seven hours,” Bucky frowns, brushing the hair off Steve’s forehead.  “It’s no wonder you ache so bad.”

“Oh.”

“What got you so sick? You’re never sick,” Bucky frowns.  

It’s true - in the three years they’ve been together, Bucky can count on one hand the number of times he’s actually been sick enough to warrant taking a sick day (not that he ever took one, but that’s beside the point). He ate the healthiest of anyone Bucky knows, and the man goes on a run every morning without fail.  His diet and exercise regimen is enough to help his immune system ward off most things, but it looks like even Steve isn’t immune to the bug making its way through his PhD program.

“Cha’ge ind tembperature, I thi’gk…mbaybe?”

“That’ll do it…you look miserable, sweetheart,” Bucky frowns.  “Ready t’go?”

“Uh-huh,” he nods, coughing into his scarf.  “I really dond’t feel good, Buck…I wandt to go to bed.”

“I know,” Bucky coos softly, “I’ll get you feeling better soon, I promise.”

*

Steve spikes a fever around nine that night, and all it does is make him emotional and near-tears for hours.  

“Honey, what can I do?” Bucky asks, alternating between playing with his hair and rubbing his face and back.

“Ndothi’gg…I’mb sorry I’mb so sick,” Steve whimpers, choking on a sob.  

“No, I’m sorry you’re sick and feel so awful.”

“Just kill mbe…it’ll be easier.”

“Sorry, baby,” Bucky frowns.  “How about more medicine? That might help…or water? You want some water?”

Steve makes a face before shaking his head, “throat hurts too bad.”

“Want to watch something, then? Take your mind off how you feel? I can put on some boring documentary you can fall asleep to, how’s that sound?”

“Finde by mbe,” he sniffles.

“Okay,” Bucky says, leaning down to kiss the damp cloth he has on Steve’s forehead.  

“I love you…tha’gk you, Jambes.”

“I love you too, Stevie,” Bucky murmurs, stroking his burning cheek.

[run2yamama]

R2YM - FIRST PERIOD ADVICE, TIPS & RESOURCES (PART 1)

Your first period can be scary and worrying , even traumatising if you begin at a much earlier age (some people start their periods early as age 8). but around 12 is the most common age. I know some of my friends really struggled WITH the support and guidance of their mum, so going through it without your mum is not easy by any means. Periods can last up to 5 days usually however there is a huge variation on this and this isn’t the rule at all. A period can be shorter than 5 days as well as more, everyone is different and you will get to know yours. When you first start you period, it isn’t just automatically regulated. You may not have one for a long time after or it could be quite random after your first one. This is ok and normal! It can take 2-3 years to regulate. They should then occur every 4-5 weeks, again not a rule and some get them less than this or more. I’m going to try my best to provide you with as much advice that I can from the beginning to end. This will include actual practical advice, because lord knows I really needed this; as well as emotional guidance. I’m here to tell you that it will be okay, you are going to be just fine and you absolutely got this. I’m sorry if you feel alone in this and I hope this can at the very least give you some guidance and reassurance. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING YOUR FIRST PERIOD & ARE THERE ANY SIGNS?

Each and every body has it’s own schedule & there are many factors that can contribute to your body being ready/not ready to have it’s first period. These factors be diet, weight, stress and hereditary. I guess I would expect a mum to prepare her child in the way she knows best, ideally a combination of facts and reassurance. I guess this is what I want to emulate for you.

Knowing some signs you could potentially look out for as well as feeling prepared can make a huge difference for when you see that you have started your period.

Around 2 years after you begin to develop breasts, you could expect your first period. This is NOT by any means the rule, it’s just an indication and of course is not bang on the 2 year mark.

You may start to feel/see discharge in your underwear, it can be a mucus like fluid sometimes and can sometimes look dark brown or white (not always). This can also be an indicator and the discharge could start 6 months to 1 year before you get your first period. Once again though this is NOT a rule and you could get your period the day after, week after etc OR you might not go through this stage at all (this is the case for many, including myself).

Seeking medical advice is the best option IF you get to the 15/16 age mark and have still not started your period. It isn’t unheard of by any means for people to begin their periods closer to the 17/18 age mark however I would still advise getting yourself checked over.

DECIDING WHAT METHOD IS BEST FOR YOURSELF & STAYING PREPARED(SANITARY PADS/TOWELS, TAMPONS & MENSTRUAL CUPS)

This part is completely up to you! Sanitary towels are easier and relatively fuss free, especially for your first time because it doesn’t require much effort in terms of getting one on. For your first time you might not be comfortable with anything more invasive or ‘hands on’ in adjusting. You could opt for something organic as some tend to find that mainstream pads/tampons make their cramps/period flow worse due to chemicals being absorbed from them. It’s worth having a look around for something affordable and stocking up if that is something you’re thinking about. Regardless of the product you decide on you need to absolutely ALWAYS follow the rule of washing your hands before and after changing your pad/tampon/menstrual cup. I can’t stress this enough, I hope it doesn’t come across as patronising but you definitely don’t want any bacteria that lives on your skin/that you come in contact to entering your body via your vagina. Though this might be obvious to some, it won’t be to others especially if they haven’t had a nurturing mother-figure and there is no shame in that.

PROS OF SANITARY PADS/TOWELS – Easy to use -Fewer precautions to follow -Allows for natural vaginal cleaning -They can be worn overnight without worry (within reason) -Can be worn for just a light flow or spotting -You can wear one before your period is due to start so that you can avoid leaking/an accident -You can monitor your flow at regular intervals through the day, especially if you are new to periods. It’s definitely good to get to know and understand your flow/cycle -They are found in more stores globally than other products -There isn’t a specific risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome or TSS (will discuss below) like there is with tampons -If changed regularly and the right pad is used then you should be safe from leaks on the whole. Pads will have the ability to absorb different amounts of liquid so this is why also getting to know your flow is helpful. -You can get pads that are made from various materials, these can be re-used and has less of an environmental impact CONS OF SANITARY PADS/TOWELS -Unless you’re getting a pad that has the ‘diaper’ like feel to it, a regular/even thick pad is less likely to hold a really heavy/bad flow without you changing it often throughout the day –Also in relation to the above point, they can be uncomfortable/awkward with certain types of clothing (this is more for if you’re wearing a thicker pad) -There is the risk of it coming unstuck/gathering up in your underwear causing leaks -They do have a high environmental impact (disposable ones, not cotton) -More likely to experience odour, especially on a hot day, if working out or on a heavy flow and you’re not using the correct type of pad that day etc PROS OF TAMPONS –They are discreet due to them being inserted internally –They can prevent odour during use also due to being internal -More ideal for wearing during sports and activities like swimming -Can hold more liquid in one go than a pad can -Some say they can’t feel it at all if inserted correctly -You get a decent amount of them in a box (usually) CONS OF TAMPONS -Important precautions to follow as the consequences can be life threatening -Some people don’t find them easy to use, especially the first time -Tend to cost more than other menstrual products -Some people find that they still have to wear a pad if they have a tampon in, this can be down to flow, personal preference OR the wrong the tampon has the wrong type of absorbency -You can’t monitor your flow with as much ease if that’s something you would like to do/need to do -Said to make cramps/flow worse due to it being inserted internally & releasing the chemicals found in mainstream products directly -Unlike pads you can’t/shouldn’t really – insert a tampon as a preemptive option before you’re due on, wear one if you’re just having a really light flow/spotting or sleep with it in over night (definitely not this last one, some say all night is ok but for me personally it’s a no!) –Risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) if you do not use tampons with the correct precautions (will outline below) -You do need to change them more often than you would with pads as the precautions state. Tampons used to be ideal because you could just ‘leave them in and forget about it’ but we are now more educated on Toxic Shock Syndrome and that just isn’t advisable or safe –They aren’t available globally or easy to find globally -Choosing tampons with the correct absorbency is important, going for ‘super-absorbant’ in the hopes of having to change it less frequently isn’t advisable either and this is where cases of TSS can occur PROS OF MENSTRUAL CUPS These are small, flexible and rubber/silicone cups. It doesn’t absorb your flow, it instead catches it. You have to fold it tightly to insert it (much like a tampon). You may need to rotate it into the correct position but it should essentially spring open once inserted and rest against the walls of your vagina in order to catch the blood. To take it out you just need to pinch it at the base which you will be able to feel, this will release the seal in order for you to remove it. -Though you can get disposable ones, most people opt for a reusable one. This means that it is very eco-friendly and in the long run significantly cheaper. I’m not saying you should keep it for years and years (some articles say you can if you are on top of keeping it clean) but you can get a lot of use out of a menstrual cup. -You can leave it in for longer (for 6+ hours – within reason and if you really need to) and is safer overnight because of this -Once you are confident at inserting it correctly you shouldn’t need a back up pad due to the seal the cup creates against the vagina wall -Good for heavy flows/more reassuring as menstrual cups tend to hold 1 ounce of liquid at least -Menstrual blood does get an odour when exposed to air so this helps to lessen that significantly due to the blood being contained -Less chance of Toxic Shock Syndrome than a tampon as you aren’t having to constantly change it and risk the spread of bacteria internally -May ease the worry/anxiety that some people get due to tampons and TSS CONS OF MENSTRUAL CUPS –It can cause irritation internally/externally, you need to be sure you aren’t sensitive to the materials these cups are made of. Some people are sensitive and may experience irritation regardless of what they use however irritation is more likely to occur with a cup than it is a pad or tampon –You NEED to be on top of keeping it clean and sterile so this requires more effort –It probably isn’t going to be easy to find the right fit and size, especially if you’re new to this. Age, flow and for some of my older readers – if you’ve had a child – can also be a factor in what will fit comfortably. If you have a tilted or low cervix (you will know, it makes trying to insert something internally slightly more difficult until you understand your body) this could mean a bit of trial and error with the cup –Some people don’t struggle with getting it in, it’s the removal that they find messy. Sitting and squatting and using your pelvic floor muscles to push and assist you is the way to get it out. You need to pinch the base to break the seal, and tilt it back or you will spill blood –Not as easy to deal with in public places, you need to wash it out and you’re not going to do that in a public sink really. Some take bottles of water with them and then wipe it down, I personally don’t enjoy the thought of doing that at all –Again if you’re new to periods, you might not want to end up in a messy situation in a public bathroom if you do try to remove it. Really get comfortable with it –Some worry that the cup will interfere with their IUD (for my older readers – a contraception device that is internal) this isn’t a fact at all, but does worry some people

INFORMATION ON TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME (TSS) This section isn’t to scare anyone! It’s real life though. I feel that when you don’t have a mum you do miss out on HUGE chunks of information and parts of conversations that are being had around you. Even if you understand periods relatively well, this area often goes overlooked and it is so so important. 

This condition is rare BUT it is 100% a life-threatening condition. It can affect men and children but it is associated with tampon users, it is much easier to spread bacteria internally because of obvious reasons. TSS can get bad very very quickly and therefore it can be fatal if not treated within time. People who are able to catch it in time and are treated do usually make a full recovery. It is important to know that TSS is not spread from person to person and you DON’T develop an immunity to it. If you get it once, you can still get it again. The bacteria that can cause TSS are Staphylococcus or Streptococcus, they actually do live on our skin and in our mouth and nose HOWEVER once they enter our body internally there is an issue. They begin to release toxins that damage tissue and essentially stop organs working. CAUSES THAT ARE RELATED TO TAMPONS –Leaving tampons in longer than the recommended time in general –Using ‘super-absorbent’ tampons, encouraging you to leave them in longer but these are widely associated with TSS –Some are not thorough enough when washing their hands in between having to change their tampon. If you are making direct contact with your vagina several times a day WITHOUT precaution then this is an issue –Inserting more than 1 tampon is not the correct thing to do at all. Knowingly doing this when you are having a heavy flow for example is not advisable. –Forgetting you have a tampon in and inserting a new one on top of it. This is a familiar story that we have heard about many times over the years. A young girl is admitted into hospital on the brink of death due to TSS and the doctor finds 2 or 3 old tampons inserted that she has forgotten about HOW TO PREVENT TSS –Only use tampons that have the correct absorbency for your flow, you don’t need to always go for the most aggressively absorbent tampon –Alternate between pads and tampons whilst on your period. Tampons do have their pros but using them for your whole cycle isn’t always necessary –Wash your hands thoroughly before and after inserting a tampon, like really scrub your hands down as best as you can. If you could see what was on your hands with the blind eye you would be horrified – even more so if you could see what you may spread to your vagina! –Change your tampon often, don’t get lazy with it due to them being discreet and convenient –Never insert more than one tampon at the same time –If you want to wear one overnight, make sure it’s a fresh one right before you go to bed. As soon as you wake up in the morning you need to change it as a priority –Do not forget to remove your tampon at the end of your period –If you have had TSS before it is a good idea to avoid tampons SYMPTOMS OF TSS – THESE START SUDDENLY AND GET WORSE RAPIDLY – IF AT THIS POINT YOU ARE WEARING A TAMPON YOU NEED TO REMOVE IT & INFORM A DOCTOR -A high temperature (fever) of 39C/102.2F or above –Flu like symptoms (headache, chills and muscle aches) –Feeling sick or actually being sick –A widespread rash that looks like sun-burn –Diarrhoea –Whites of the eyes, tip of the tongue and tongue turning a bright red –Dizziness and fainting –Confusion and drowsiness –Difficulties breathing properly TREATMENT FOR TSS – WITH TREATMENT MOST PEOPLE RECOVERY FULLY WITHIN DAYS AND LEAVE THE HOSPITAL IN WEEKS –You will need to be admitted into hospital, most people do end up in ICU –You may receive purified antibodies (via blood donations) to fight the infection –Oxygen to assist breathing –Fluids for dehydration and prevention of organ damage –Medication to control blood pressure –Dialysis if your kidneys fail –In some very serious cases, surgery is required to remove areas of dead tissue. In even more severe cases the area will require amputation Part 2 will include some tips and advice, not just from me but from women of different ages and background. Perspective is everything. The more you know the more prepared you can feel without your mum at this point in your life. It’s absolutely okay to need help in this area and there is no shame in saying nobody was there to teach you.

[meditativeyoga]

The shift that saved my life — Martin Brofman

I had incurable cancer cells in 1975 and also was informed that I had just a couple of months to live. The tumour was in my spine-- in the neck-- and as it expanded it was pushing the spine versus the within of the back canal. My ideal arm had ended up being paralysed, and also my legs were abnormal. An operation to get rid of the tumor had been not successful, and also I was told that for numerous factors chemotherapy and radiation therapy would certainly not function. Physicians alerted me that the end may come extremely all of a sudden, any moment, if I coughed or sneezed. I was confronted with a truth where every day was perhaps my last day, each hour my last hour.

From then on… it was only me

One thing I knew for certain-- for whatever time I had remaining, I wanted to more than happy, simply being myself. Because of that, uninviting unique diets made no feeling to me, in spite of the insurance claims they could aid. Each meal was possibly my last meal and I intended to consume what I truly took pleasure in. I needed to cling myself, to be real in all that I did. My worths changed. I lived in the here and now minute as well as whatever I did was for its own benefit, because I really wished to do it. Some points that had seemed vital prior to unexpectedly weren't anymore. The just important thing was moring than happy and to me that indicated doing whatever I felt happy doing, and refraining anything that made me unhappy.

Two months later on, I was still to life, I had lacked time, but I was still to life! One month later I got on overtime, and still active. I wondered the length of time it could take place. New Year was 5 months away and also I chose that if by some wonder I was still below, I would certainly celebrate with a getaway in an exotic heaven. Just what I didn't recognize after that was how that holiday would save my life. 5 months later on, I was commemorating the New Year in Martinique, having a mind-expanding talk with a guy who existed to instruct Zen meditation. He stated to me:

" Cancer cells starts in your mind, as well as that's where you could getting rid of it".

It was like someone had switched over a light bulb on-- it was so clear. I knew just what he implied and can see exactly how the cancer was an allegory for points kept in and not revealed. I saw exactly how my previous way of living as well as means of being had actually brought about me eliminating myself in several methods. I became aware there as well as then that if I altered my method of being, I could in some way launch the symptoms. I can utilize my mind as a device to accomplish the modifications in my means of being, as well as in my body. For the very first time because I had been given the diagnosis, I had the ability to take into consideration an opportunity of reversing my condition and also getting rid of the cancer. I could conserve my life!

Several weeks later on, I paid attention to a discuss Silva Mind Control [now renamed the Silva Method], which instructs individuals how you can use their mind as a device. The concept presented was that our assumptions produce our fact, as well as since we select our understandings, we could pick to change any kind of element of our truth. My consciousness had been the result of programs, similarly that a computer creates outcomes based on exactly how it has actually been programmed. I could reprogramme my consciousness. My understanding had actually been that I was terminally ill, so I needed to reprogramme my consciousness to produce the perception that I was well. I was not planned for such a sudden change. For some significant time I had regarded myself as being in a state of wear and tear, getting closer as well as closer to passing away. This called for a major modification in my reasoning. I knew that I might a lot more quickly produce the assumption that I was obtaining far better as well as much better, up until I was eventually well. I recognized the turn-around could occur in any moment. It referred transforming a button in my mind, and demanding understanding it had actually been transformed. I decided that if the moment of adjustment might be any kind of moment, then allow it be now.

The shift in my awareness was prompt, I felt it, and also I understood then that I was in a state of renovation. I also knew the relevance of keeping the stability of my choice. From that moment on I knew that my understandings needed to strengthen the suggestion that I was currently obtaining much better and also far better, so I would eventually be well. As I consumed whatever food I wanted, I informed myself it was precisely just what my body required and was asking for in order to accelerate the recovery procedure. Physical feelings much like electric shocks in my body had formerly strengthened the idea that the tumour was growing. They still came, now I preferred to regard them as evidence that the tumor was reducing. My mind tried to find an increasing number of means of recognizing the improvement was happening.

I knew I needed to steer clear of from people that urged on seeing me as still terminally ill, not from any kind of lack of love, yet rather to keep my own favorable perspective towards the healing procedure. I needed to be with individuals who were prepared to urge me on this apparently impossible job I had actually set for myself. Whenever a person asked exactly how I was doing, I insisted on answering, "Much better as well as better, thank you". And also it was true.

I looked into psychological shows strategies, as well as learnt that if I place myself into a loosened up state and also talked favorably to myself for 15 mins, three times a day, after that within 66 days I can get myself to think anything. And, whatever I thought to be true would hold true. I understood that it was vital to maintain the favorable programming, which placing myself in an unwinded mindset and also chatting favorably to myself for 15 mins, three times every day, belonged of the programming process I need to in no other way disrupt. There were lures to not do the leisures, and after that I would certainly remind myself that my life went to stake. Any such temptation, then, was something that separated me as well as my life, and also had actually to be eliminated, so that I can live.

Sticking through it

This may all seem really simple, however it was not constantly very easy. Sometimes-- particularly early-- it was very difficult. Occasionally my thoughts or words recognized something besides the idea that I was enhancing. On such celebrations I had to be sincere with myself as well as see that I had actually 'blown it'. I would certainly start once more, telling myself I had been on a practice run, and also the real moment of modification was now. It did obtain easier. I had the ability to preserve positivity as well as honesty for just hours at first, after that a day, after that two days, and after that I was strong. The programme was functioning. The doubting voice would sometimes make itself recognized, however I understood it did not represent reality. The encouraging voice within became my guide, leading me back to secure wellness, allowing me to preserve the one-track mind of knowing positive changes were taking place. When I was not really feeling a signs and symptom, I told myself that maybe I would never really feel that sign again. If I did experience the symptom again, I would tell myself the procedure was not complete, but to recognize I was really feeling the sign less typically and much less drastically than in the past. All was going well.

I had to know favorable modifications were taking place now even if they were not always obvious. I would inform myself they were perhaps just at the threshold of my assumption, so I could excitedly expect proof to warrant this. I was constantly able to locate something favorable, and also assure myself it wasn't all imagination.

There was much encouragement from my daughters, Jacki and Heather. Heather was only four years old at the time as well as she recognized that love heals, so she offered me magic healing kisses-- every morning and every evening. I can also notice six-year-old Jacki's idea in me, and in my capacity to somehow come through this dilemma. No various other opportunity was acceptable to her. In her eyes, I could always see her connection with me.

Catharsis was crucial

During my relaxation durations, I would imagine the tumor as well as envision a layer of cancer cells dying and being launched by my body's all-natural removal system. I understood the modification was occurring, also if it was not noticeable and recognizable. Each time I launched waste items from my body I knew dead cancer cells were being eliminated. I firmly insisted on recognizing this was real. I knew the cancer stood for something held in and also not shared. With the tumour situated right by my throat chakra [energy centre] I additionally recognized this indicated I had been holding back the expression of my Being. Since I had not been specifically particular exactly what this indicated, I determined it was vital to express whatever: every idea as well as every feeling. Whatever was in my consciousness and also wishing to come out, I expressed it, recognizing it was vital for my health. Prior to after that, I had actually held the understanding that expressing led to dissonance, today I saw exactly how what I was revealing and communicating was appreciated by those around me and caused harmony.

Before, I had actually had the idea that if I shared just what I really wished to, something poor would certainly take place. I had to reprogramme that to the idea that if I expressed what I truly intended to, something terrific would certainly take place. I made that decision, as well as it was so.

Tuning into the ideal frequency

I discovered myself having less and also much less in typical with my old buddies. It was as though we had shared an usual vibrational frequency before, say 547 cycles [whatever that indicates], and also unexpectedly I discovered myself at 872 cycles, with couple of points to interact to the 547 cycle individuals. I had to locate new friends that were also at 872 so I can have a person to chat with.

I located myself drew in to the 872 crowd, and them to me, as though I had become precisely magnetic. Specific aspects of my fact were being released which were no much longer in accord with the new Being I was becoming. Deep within I knew the process was unpreventable as well as should not be disrupted. I developed a feeling of concern as well as understanding as well as knew my life depended on releasing all components not in accord with my new vibration. The process was simple, though not always easy. I started daily as a process of self-discovery, without presumption of that I was, but with a readiness to uncover the arising me. There was a feeling of joy with each new discovery.

Often I would certainly imagine the scene in the doctor's workplace after my service myself was done. I would certainly see him analyzing me and also looking puzzled since he can find no tumour. I visualized him looking stunned as well as claiming, "Possibly we made a blunder." I played this scene in my mind daily, throughout my relaxation periods.

About two months later on I went to be analyzed by the same medical professional that had pronounced me terminally ill. He analyzed me and also he discovered nothing. And also think just what he stated? "Maybe we slipped up." I laughed all the means home.

I have actually changed my means of Being. My lifestyle has changed considerably. I had been working on Wall Street, developing computer systems and entailed in computer system fraudulence. While it was interesting, I really did not feel it so essential in the 'larger image'. I was commuting 90 minutes each means to and also from work, and also living 'the American Dream'-- a residence in the suburban areas, an other half and 2 youngsters, 2 vehicles in the garage, a large pet ... yet I wasn't happy. Working with awareness, it feels as though I have actually removaled up to a greater class of computer. The job I do now as a healer as well as educator is purposeful to me, essential to others, and also of solution to mankind. I really feel a 'high' when I recover as well as instruct and also I recognize that I am doing my life's work. The procedure of improvement is an important component of the recovery procedure, whether you're recovering your vision, releasing some severe illness, or if the discrepancy feeds on the mental or psychological level as well as has actually not yet gotten to the physical level.

An eye-opening effect

An unforeseen yet remarkable side benefit of my healing procedure was that I not needed the glasses I had worn for Two Decade. I utilized to be myopic and astigmatic, however my vision changed and my eyesight was evaluated as 'regular.'

After my healing I was seeing the globe rather in a different way, in a figurative as well as a literal sense. My outer vision had been changed along with my internal vision. Curious regarding this 'side advantage' of my recovery procedure I chose to study right into what others were performing in the visual field renovation. I review all guides I could find on the subject, not because I should discover out 'the best ways to do it', but rather to find 'how I had done it'. I found 8 books, and also 7 of them referred back to the eighth, which was Better Vision Without Glasses, by Dr. William Bates. He was a leader in the field, and his ideas had actually startled the conventional medical community back in the 1920s. Much more recently, Dr. Richard Kavner, a behavioural optometrist, included some new details regarding brain/mind relationships as well as he achieved amazing success via his deal with youngsters. The constant consider all these locations of vision renovation was the process of personal makeover-- simply as in my very own individual experience. With the insight I got by reviewing the jobs of these specialists I was able to improve their concepts, using my individual experience for extra understandings. I started speaking to people about these concepts as well as assisting them to explore the links between their very own vision problems and their method of being. Eventually, those I talked to were giving me their glasses, saying they no longer needed them. Because 1975, I have dealt with 10s of thousands of people, seeing much of them improve their sight by retraining their awareness, as well as altering their lives at the same time. The mindset of change in their lives has actually commonly been such that these people consider their boosted vision a relatively minor element of the whole.

As we launch tensions in our awareness and also approve new suggestions, tensions are also released from the physical body as well as we return to balance on all degrees. Dr. Bates stated that all impaired vision was the result of stress. When we think about damaged vision, we believe not only of the organic technicians of vision, yet additionally about the function of vision, regarding exactly what you experience aesthetically. According to Dr. Bates, if we ignore the auto mechanics of vision and concentrate just on the feature of vision-- the experience in our awareness-- when the function of vision is brought back, the organic 'cause s' of impaired vision are also turned around. People who have actually had just what are referred to as 'organic' visual problems [cataracts, glaucoma, and so on.] have likewise reported improvement after diligently making a shift in their awareness using self-healing concepts. These include the idea that they were completely in charge of their problem, that it was the result of particular perceptions they decided to have, and also consequently that they had the ability to transform it, by transforming their attitudes.

There's a location in society for everybody. If we allow ourselves be real there's a location where most of us suit, where we are accepted and also valued for who we are. We do not need to act not to see just what's actual for us. We can allow ourselves to be who we really are, to be a lot more and much more genuine. With resolution as well as a willingness to transform perceptions and also their coming with facts, anyone could transform their sight of the world-- both actually and also figuratively-- and return to a natural state of clarity of vision.

[allaboutfoodgwu]

Anywhey You Want It

Protein is something humans reap naturally from food. From hunter-gatherer times, until the 1950’s, people seemed to survive, grow and function just fine without additives and supplements, so what happened? In the early 1900’s, a man named Bob Hoffman was one of the first people to suggest nutrition influenced the health and strength of a “man” (24, Hall and Fair).

Bob Hoffman greatly protested the early protein powders. He believed everything humans needed for an ideal physique could be provided by a balanced diet. His focus on nutrition’s bodily effect prompted people to pursue a perfected form—a way to maximize protein consumption, for a better physical outcome.

Thus, protein powder was born. One of the first was “by Patton’s dietetic of Los Angeles and Schenectady and contained such ingredients as soy beans, deep sea kelp, and whole wheat germ” (24, Hall and Fair). This sparked the beginning of body building that Americans, today, may be more familiar with. Protein became a revolutionary way to bulk muscle, without eating massive amounts of food.

So if protein powder was born among the body building community in Los Angeles, how did it end up in the hands of the average consumer? Re-appropriation of protein supplements to target specific demographics like professional athletes, body builders, or people looking to lose weight, has driven the market in multiple directions. Protein powder was born from a culture obsessed with physical appearance. Now that protein products are becoming more ubiquitous in grocery stores, questions of who has access to such an excessive product and why are they buying it come to mind. Could protein powder be an indicator of larger cultural beauty standards?

Ulterior to the relationship between protein powder, working out and beauty standards, the expansive availability of vegan protein powders may be in response to increased popularity of veganism and vegetarianism. Agriculture and animal production are two of the largest contributors of green-house gases and climate change. In response, research has suggested Americans should reduce meat consumption to discourage animal production (Joyce, et al, 2012).

Being the meat centered culture that America is, concerns of protein deficiency are large. Protein powder then becomes a viable option to help make up any nutritional gaps created by the omission of animal products. This study cannot speak for all American’s, however, so from her on I will be talking about protein powder consumers.

Funny enough, modern vegan powders are not totally unlike the original made back in 1950, soy is still a fairly common additive. The major difference between then and now though, is that people want more than just protein, they want a full serving of vegetables, antioxidant fruits, super food blends, biotin, collagen, vitamins, probiotics—things that would not be in your average hamburger.

My point is, protein powder has become a lot more than just protein, it’s become more of a cultural product in America, and for this study D.C. It is still used by athletes and body builders, but now D.C. residents outside these categories are hoppin’ on the Whey Train, hoping these magical protein powders will transform them as well. A self-awareness of environmental impact, in hand with influences from cultural beauty and fitness paradigms, creates an imaginary necessity for protein powder.

Understanding protein powder is not vital for survival, I would like to reconfigure it as a dietary accessory. Using ethnographic data collected from GNC, Safeway, Whole Foods and CVS, I use the position of protein powder in the store, as well as the availability of natural/conventional powders to generate an idea of the kind of customer these stores are targeting.

So what is my protein powder consumer profile? It seems the person stores are marketing to is affluent, health oriented and body conscious. Quick disclaimer: I only witnessed protein powder being purchased once during my time in the field, so all of my conclusions as to who protein consumers really are, are drawn from observations of the greater environment of each store.

Out in the real world D.C. residents do purchase protein powder. The fact that specialty stores, like GNC, exist shows there is demand in D.C.; however, I think demand for vegan or ‘natural’ protein powder is growing. 

GNC has a limited selection of “healthy” powders, as the majority of their brands contain long lists of unknown (and unpronounceable) substances. The lack of business when I visited the store seems to suggest a decline in the popularity of their products, though I would also posit online markets may reflect a very different reality. These observations from GNC, combined with high prices ranging from $19.99 to $64.99, tells me protein buyers must be of higher economic status. Being located in a business area of D.C., I also suggest GNC’s protein customer is educated and health conscious (because they are buying protein powder).

Whole Foods has a growing supply of natural protein powders. The average Whole Foods customer fits the archetype of my consumer—affluent and health conscious with the added bonus of environmental awareness. Whole Foods itself has a reputation for being fairly elite, as suggested by its nickname, “Whole Paycheck.” The high prices, starting at $25.99, of natural protein powder works to limit those who have access to the additive, repositioning protein as a status symbol (and supporting my hypothesized affluency of a protein powder consumer).

Safeway tries to recreate the Whole Foods upper class ambiance by placing protein powder in the ‘natural’ aisle, which stands apart from the rest of the store because of its ‘natural’ wood flooring and organic labels. The aesthetic shift accentuates the segregation of ‘natural’ foods from the rest of the store. Protein powders can only be found in this aisle, and their selection is limited to natural and vegan brands.

Prices did start a little lower, at $16.99, however the large aisles, carts and adjacency to neighborhoods, suggested it is more of family grocery store. Therefore, these prices may still be considered high if two or more people are using the protein product.

The aesthetic separation of the natural aisle works to further emphasize protein powder as a status symbol by mimicking “whole paycheck.” Consumers of natural protein powder are physically and economically separate from the average Safeway shopper.

CVS bridges the gap between Whole Foods and Safeway as it has both natural and conventional protein powders, despite its limited selection. Once more, I would like to bring attention to the placement of the conventional powder behind a support beam. This suggests CVS prioritizes the visibility of the natural protein powders. Maybe this means they expect customers who are looking for protein powder to be looking for natural brands. The natural products are consistently more expensive, starting at $23.99, than those that are not, which start at $20.79. The customer who purchases the natural product is likely someone with the resources to do so. Yes, there are the conventional options, but it seems clear that protein powders have taken a turn for the natural and expensive.

Discussion Looking across the four stores, protein powder is clearly a dietary accessory. Where powders once served a specific purpose for body builders, protein markets have expanded their appeal by incorporating other nutritional additives. High prices limit the accessibility of protein powder, something even greater affected by the even higher prices of natural products. The concept of ‘natural’ seems to be a marketing tool used by stores (with the exception of GNC because they have a more specific weight lifting demographic). “Natural” and “organic” tend to have upper class connotations or affiliations due to price trends (and whole paycheck). Protein powder’s affiliation with body builders may appeal to consumers’ desire to improve their musculature, but I argue this association is too limited now.

The socioeconomic affiliation with “natural” pricing and superadditives advertised on protein powder labels began to appeal to a broader audience. The cosmetic origins of protein continue on today as they aid in achieving cultural ‘fit’ beauty standards. This leads me to believe my Whey Train people are of a middle to upper socioeconomic class who seem to favor plant-based proteins in the interest of improving their health and physique.  

Adele Queener

Hall, Daniel and Fair, John. (2004). The Pioneers of Protein. Iron Game History. 8(3), 23-34.

Joyce, A., Dixon, A., Comfort, J. & Hallett, J. (2012). Reducing the Environmental Impact of Dietary Choice: Perspectives from a Behavioral and Social Change Approach. Journal of Environmental and Public Health. Doi:10.1155/2012/978672.  

[bluebeezle]

One thing that really bugs me about conservative politics is that despite their virtue signaling about being the party of liberty, their templates on what a person should be are suffocatingly strict. It’s not just about the freedom to own a gun. It’s that you’re a fucking pussy who doesn’t know how to protect his family if you don’t have one. Men are strong, women are submissive, and there’s nothing in between. Anything else makes you “less than”. Change the core of who you are just so they won’t hate you, rather than them putting in the effort to not be a bigot. And in many cases, people should be white, so they’re restricted on their facial hair so they don’t look like they’re of a race they hate:

But leaving racism aside, I was visiting my now ex’s family once, and I was having stomach issues at the time. So I was restricted to the BRAT Diet, which, for those of you who don’t know, is comprised entirely of bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. One of their children did not understand this, and he came up to me to tell me that a man should eat better because he’s supposed to be strong. It was incredibly depressing to see how early these kids had been brainwashed with this garbage. The next time I visited, I was no longer on the diet, and her family was surprised to learn that I could eat meat and whatever else they were serving. Despite my being very clear that the diet was temporary and for health reasons. Which tells me they got so hung up on the unmanliness of the diet that they just stopped listening after that.

Regardless, being that we’re well into the age of specialization, it boggles my mind that people still don’t get this concept by now. Everyone has some thing(s) unique to offer. Something they excel at. Demanding that everyone who isn’t John Wayne is “less than” is ridiculous. It’s Randyll Tarly in Game of Thrones. It was all the assholes in the Night’s Watch besides Jon Snow. Jon was the only one wise enough to see how valuable and adept Sam was when NOT used as a square peg in a round hole.

This quote from Einstein says it all. It’s the reason I’m a liberal, and it’s the reason I’m an artist. Being a liberal is about creating a world that is most conducive towards getting the best out of the most people, however they want to express their talent. Yes, it’s practical for society, but it also makes our culture richer. It’s a shame when huge groups of people never end up expressing what makes them unique, or sharing the ideas that would have been. Their best is what they’re passionate about. And guess what? Being a businessman isn’t always what they’re most passionate about, nor the most valuable contribution they could offer. But it’s one of the few things our system rewards (outside of people whose careers are pretending to be characters in other people’s stories, and people who play games on a field or court). How many businesses did Einstein own? And how much of a positive impact has he made on our society? Incidentally, he, too, had to fight the pressure to be a businessman, which he was terrible at, from his own father.

Side note about science being just as culturally (not just practically) valuable as art, a quote from Professor Lawrence Krauss: "I do theoretical physics, and it’s kind of esoteric. And people say why the hell do you do it. What’s it good for. Which amazes me when they say that because I rarely get asked what’s a Picasso painting good for, or what’s a Mozart concerto good for. But somehow science has to do something, and somehow make a better toaster, or something like that. But the biggest and most important thing about science is not that it does anything, but that it enhances our lives with beautiful ideas that change the way we think about ourselves. ‘Cause that’s what all good art and music and literature is all about; it’s changing our perspective of our place in the universe. And that’s what science does."

With such huge economic inequality, most people have to spend their lives just barely keeping their heads above water, let alone pursuing what they love. And if you don’t find the right fit on your first guess at age 22? Forget about it.

And another side note, the best someone has to offer may have nothing to do with how much value society places on it. Society likes a lot of garbage. Moreover, society seems to only value first place. You could be incredibly talented at something, but you’re shit if you’re not the best. Even worse, if you’ve split your talents rather than specializing.

If you must insist on needing to feed your ego, what is more impactful to future generations? Do you really want people to see your name next to a number indicating how much you could bench? Or would you rather your ideas be so potent that they inspire future artists and scientists? Which one gets you closer to immortality?

This is also why I have such anxiety about my art. There are things I’ve done that I’m proud of. But I’ve never finished a large personal project, and I’m slowed considerably by seemingly only having short bursts of creativity with years in between. I hope I finish something. Whatever my artistic accomplishments end up being, they’ll be my humble contribution to humanity’s chorus.

[vateacancameos]

Here We Are As In Olden Days, Part 31

Day 31 of @missdaviswrites  December Sherlock ficlet challenge.

31 December, New Year

Sherlock | Johnlock | Ficlet | ao3 link

Sherlock woke up with a crick in his neck, a draft on his feet, and a sleeping John on his shoulder. He took a moment to orient himself. It was New Year’s Eve, no New Year’s Day, according to the clock, which stated it was almost two in the morning. They had been watching some New Year’s Eve show on the telly, one with terrible musical performances and annoying emcees. John had insisted they have it on so they could ring in the new year and watch the fireworks shows from other cities around the world, but mostly he and John had talked over it. It had been a quiet, pleasant evening—a little alcohol in celebration, but nothing out of hand, quiet conversation with the person he loved most in this world, and the warm cocoon that seemed to hang around him and John constantly these days.

Somehow, they’d both managed to fall asleep before midnight. At least, Sherlock assumed John had dropped off around the same time he had. Their conversation had slowed, John had scooted down the sofa cushion to rest his head on Sherlock’s shoulder, and they’d drowsily watched the horrible presenters natter on.

Knowing they’d regret it if they stayed on the sofa for the rest of the night, Sherlock put his free hand to John’s cheek. “Wake up,” he whispered lowly. John groaned and dug his head deeper into Sherlock’s shoulder. Sherlock tried again. “John, we should go to bed.” Another groan was his only answer. Sherlock smiled, gently extricated himself from John, and pulled them both to standing, letting John lean on him rather than try a third time to wake him.

By the time they made it to the bedroom, John was awake enough to undress himself and climb into bed, and he sighed softly as he burrowed under the covers. “Hurry up,” he mumbled. “The sheets are cold.”

Sherlock chuckled, shucked his pajama bottoms, and crawled in beside John. “Rude,” he teased. “You’re supposed to warm them for me, not force me to warm them myself.”

“Make it a group effort,” John replied drowsily, inching close to Sherlock and putting his arm around Sherlock’s waist.

This one gets a bit long. Rest of the story below the cut.

Sherlock hummed happily as he let himself be situated to John’s exacting specifications. If asked who would be the picky one about how he slept, most people would pick Sherlock, but it was John who needed to be facing a certain way with Sherlock positioned just so in order to fall asleep (sofa kipping aside). When asked, John had said that positioning himself in the same way every night had helped him go to sleep faster after he’d first returned from Afghanistan. He’d needed a sense of routine and feeling of familiar comfort in order to relax. Whereas Sherlock was used to getting sleep when and where he allowed it, without any sort of routine to fall back on. Still, he found John’s routine comforting, and he did accede that he’d been falling asleep much faster ever since John had taken up residence in his bed. Of course, it could also be that clocking John’s vitals and learning his every bump and crease and angle as the nodded off was a bit like counting sheep to Sherlock—a good way to slow his brain down enough to let it relax.

He was ready to begin that nightly routine when John sighed in his ear. “We missed midnight,” John noted.

“We’ve both seen many starts to many years, I’m sure we’re allowed to miss a few.”

“But it was our first one t’gether. It deserved special cel’bration,” John slurred sleepily.

Sherlock warmed at the thought. John was much freer with his thoughts and feelings now that they were together. It was as if he’d only kept everything so tightly bottled was because he was afraid of revealing his love for Sherlock. And now that that was out in the open, he didn’t care about the rest. Sherlock understood the feeling. It was liberating for them both, though it had started even before they’d even kissed. It had begun one month ago, when John said he wanted Sherlock around for the rest of his life.

He hadn’t revealed his complete feelings then, and neither had Sherlock, but they’d taken that first step, that pledge to spend their lives together, to put each other over anyone else. They could’ve kissed then and there, but Sherlock had enjoyed spreading it out a little, feeling that will-they-won’t-they tension, enjoying the little flirtations John so loved to give in their texting conversations, reveling in the increasingly open looks and touches from John and Sherlock giving his own in return. And now here they were, over a week into their new relationship, happy and open and starting a new year together. He understood John’s disappointment in being unable to ring in the new year together, but it was fine. He’d spent it sleeping and curled up with John, which was somehow maybe a bit better. It illustrated their comfort level with each other, which was a much better indicator of the longevity of their relationship than some big, showy kiss at a somewhat arbitrary moment of time. Still, he understood.

“If you can hold out for…” he checked his phone, “three more minutes, we can celebrate with Rio de Janeiro.”

John chuckled. “Okay, let’s…” he yawned, “do that.” He tightened his arm around Sherlock’s waist.

“What did you decide for your resolution?” Sherlock asked, mostly to keep John awake, but also because he was curious. John had been mentioning it for days, but hadn’t said what’d he’d landed on. Sherlock, of course, wasn’t pledging anything definite, though he’d tacitly vowed to make John happy. That was enough to be going on with, he thought.

“Oh,” John began with a hum. “Spend the year proving I’m worth a lifetime with you.” He rubbed his nose against Sherlock’s cheek. “Figured that would annoy you far less than a fitness regime or dieting or, I dunno, being less of an arse to other people.”

It was simultaneously greater and less than any answer John could have given. Less because it wasn’t as if John hadn’t been doing that all along, and greater because it made Sherlock feel special, to have such a vow concentrated on him, of all people. He scooted even closer to John, careful not to upset their current arrangement.

“Oh, John, I’ve known your worth for years. Maybe not from day one, otherwise I wouldn’t have turned down you chatting me up that first night, but definitely early days. Hell, you jumped on Moriarty’s back while covered in explosives for me. You, John Watson, are worth everything to me. You have been for ages, and you will continue to be so for the rest of our lives.”

John propped himself up on his elbow, leaned over Sherlock, and put a hand to Sherlock’s cheek. “Never stop amazing me, Sherlock. God, how did I get so lucky to find you? I think you proved your worth to me that first day, in the lab. You read me in a way not even my therapist had managed after two months of sessions. It was… freeing to be seen without having to explain myself for once, for you to understand where I came from and what I needed to feel valuable and wanted. I knew then that you would play an important part in my life, and that grew only more obvious over time. It hasn’t always been easy, you and me, but we’ve managed to get this far. I have high hopes that the rest of life’s challenges won’t be insurmountable if we stay honest with each other.” John stopped a moment, then chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s just gone midnight at the start of a new year, and the two of us are talking like we’re in a wedding ceremony.” He laid back down, snuggling back into position next to Sherlock.

“Did you… were you hoping…” Sherlock had trouble making himself ask. He didn’t want to disappoint John, but he wasn’t sure the whole wedding song-and-dance was necessary. He would do it, though, if it made John feel more secure.

“No,” John said with a sigh that sounded content. Good. “It’s just a paper stating what we already know. And in this day and age, really, something said in a church or in front of witnesses doesn’t really hold much more intent than what we’re saying now. We’ve been marinating all month in the idea of spending our lives together, longer, really, at least in our own heads. Maybe down the road we’ll decide the tax benefits are worth it, but as a means of pledging ourselves to each other, not necessary.”

Sherlock relaxed as John talked. It shouldn’t surprise him that they agreed on this. They were two danger-loving mad men. Marriage wasn’t a priority for either of them. Still, that didn’t mean romance wasn’t warranted. He did want to make it clear what he expected out of their future.

“I agree,” he replied. “And, for the record… I vow, John Watson, to love you, to make you laugh, to keep adventure in your life. I promise I won’t abandon you when this gets difficult. I won’t let jealousy or boredom or criminal masterminds interfere with our happiness. I’ve loved you for years, and I’ll continue to do so for as long as I’m alive.”

Sherlock felt John’s smile through the t-shirt covering his shoulder and John’s fingers rubbing softly over his hip, a comforting and mindless gesture. “I vow, Sherlock Holmes, to love you, protect you, and stand tall by your side. I will support you in your mad schemes, learn as much as I can from your genius mind, and take the mickey out of you every once in a while to keep you from getting too big a head.”

“Hey,” Sherlock complained insincerely, pinching John’s arm.

John giggled. “I won’t let anger or hopelessness or lack of understanding get in the way of you and me. I’ll always ask for stolen ashtrays and make jokes only you understand. I may have sometimes hated your actions, but I’ve always love you, and I plan on doing the same for the rest of my life.”

The idea of them growing old together seemed to not become any more boring or commonplace the more they talked about it. Sherlock’s heart was light, and a happy hum infused his body. He was in bed on New Year’s Day with the man he loved and had just vowed to spend the rest of his life with. No other holiday would beat this one out. The winter solstice would always hold a special place for being the moment they first kissed. But this was more comfortable, more… forever.

“To a new year and the beginning of a new life,” he whispered against John’s temple.

“To us,” John replied. “Happy New Year,” he mumbled, beginning to drift off again.

“Happy New Year, John.”

With such an auspicious beginning, Sherlock knew it would be a good one.

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Thanks so much to everyone who read, followed along, liked, and reblogged. You made me a happy person. Happy New Year!!!!