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cairparavei · 4 years ago

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when love comes | ivar (vikings)

requested by @kingleshe

pairing: ivar x f!reader

wc: 2.7k

warnings: language, the lothbroks being assholes (kinda, all of them except for ubbe)

You had known them since middle school.

The four brothers had always been a mystery to you, until you dumped into Ubbe, the oldest, accidentally.

You used to have a normal friendship; nothing too remarkable, until their parents passed, and you found yourself in the middle of the four brothers, letting them take their rage and sadness on you, making yourself worth of their trust.

Which was a good thing, because everyone knew that messing with a Lothbrok could only mean trouble.

It all went better ever since. They used to be the popular kids in high school, and almost every guy was scared of them.

In fact, they made your prom date leave you hanging just because they didn’t like his necktie, or so the guy said, and you had no choice but to go with Hvitserk.

Not that you were complaining; Hvitserk had grown into a very nice looking man, but you really liked this date you managed to get for yourself, so you were disappointed when you heard your parents’ house bell ring and saw the brothers waiting for you outside, instead of him.

Time passed and you were still as close as ever, and not a day comes by that you’re not thankful to Ubbe for being clumsy as hell that day, and the next one, and then the next until he introduced you to the rest of his brothers.

To sum up, you claimed Ubbe as your big brother, since he was always overprotective because you apparently are the little sister he always wished to have, and not a bunch of horny teenagers to take care of every time they went to a party and drank more than what their bodies could handle.

On the other side, you were like the chamber of secrets for the two middle brothers, Hvitserk and Sigurd. They told you everything from the first time they failed an exam to the most detailed description on how they lost their virginities, and they knew very well you wouldn’t say a word about it, for they also knew your biggest secret; you’ve been in love with Ivar since the day you met him.

They constantly teased you about it, claiming he felt the same towards you and that you were going to have to tell him sooner or later, but you kept knocking this issue off until it was completely necessary.

In fact, Hvitserk and Sigurd had told Ivar for you, but both of them were so drunk none of them remember, and, how did you know about this?

Ubbe heard them.

It happened when he picked them up from a party a couple of weeks ago actually. Both were sitting in the back of Ubbe’s car, and he noticed that they were whisper-arguing, until Sigurd raised his voice and told Ivar he was being blind for not noticing how you had eyes for nobody but him.

Of course, Ivar was oblivious.

As soon as Ubbe arrived home with them, he left Ivar in the car, half asleep, and accompanied Sigurd to your shared flat. First thing he did was glare at you for not telling him before, for he could have helped you.

“Someone had better be dying if you’re calling me this late.”; Ivar threatened over the phone.

“Ivar, I’m bored, and I can’t sleep”, you pouted over the phone. “Come over, please?”

“Listen, Y/N, it’s almost 4 a.m., and you share a flat with Sigurd, why can’t you just wake him up instead of me? I have classes tomorrow if you didn’t know”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not here. Second, I have classes as well, and lastly” you remarked. “I want to see you. You’ve been avoiding me for days, what the hell is wrong with you? Am I not your best friend? We don’t ignore best friends in this household, Ivar Lothbrok”

You heard Ivar sigh on the other side of the call, and after a while he finally agreed to visit you.

You hung up happily and started to make yourself look presentable.

You really had missed Ivar lately. One day the Lothbroks throw a party, then the next it seems like you barely exist to one of them.

It’s not like you had done anything bad, or that you thought, so you found no reason for Ivar to behave like this.

A few minutes later you heard the door open. All of Sigurd’s brothers had a spare key, just in case something happened; which usually meant they were too wasted to go to their own homes so they crashed at your place.

You peeked outside from the kitchen to see Ivar taking of his shoes and coat.

He hadn’t noticed you yet, so you took the opportunity to observe him – he had his hair in a small bun, his glasses on, and was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Straight out of bed, you thought.

He made his way to the kitchen and took one of the cups you were holding.

“What’s going on, Y/N?”, he asked out of nowhere.

“What, can I not invite my best friend over without a reason?”

“Not if you call at 4 a.m. and make hot chocolate. It’s more than clear you want to talk about something”

You shivered and looked over him, making his way to the living room and taking a seat in the sofa.

You knew each other like the back of your hands, but were you really that obvious?

“I told you, I couldn’t sleep”, you said sitting on the other side of the couch.

“Why, are you afraid of the dark, sweetheart?”, he smiled.

“Shut up, asshole”, you said, laughing.

The Lothbroks used to tease you often, but especially when you moved in with Sigurd and had to spend your first night in your new place all alone and pretty scared, because he had decided it was a good idea to attend some random girl’s party because “he was in desperate need of human warmth”. So when it became way too terrifying for you to tolerate it, you called over Ivar to spend the night with you.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong. You don’t call someone at this hour for nothing. I don’t believe it’s just because you ‘can’t sleep’”.

You sighed. You really couldn’t let a small lie go past him.

“You’re being weird with me these days. For no reason. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong to you or anyone for you to be distant as fuck”, you told him, putting your cup on the small table in front of you. You sat back, facing him and crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m not being weird, you’re overreacting”, he said, and you furrowed your brows.

What in the actual fuck?

“I am not.”, you remarked, “Just like it’s obvious of me to make hot chocolate when something doesn’t feel right, it is for you too when you haven’t been the same towards me these days.”

He licked his lips and looked down at his cup of chocolate. He smiled to himself, noticing you had given him your Toothless cup, just as you used your Light Fury one.

It was kind of funny to him, because you always screamed that you would only share you ‘How to train your dragon’ stuff with who you would consider to be the love of your life.

“You just don’t want to believe it, Ivar. But you know very well that she’s always looked at you with the brightest eyes.” Sigurd said drunkenly; “Or are you really that much of an idiot? I mean, you’re not the brightest of guys, but I thought of you as an intelligent person, baby brother”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Sig, you don’t know what you’re saying.”, Ivar answered.

“I won’t shut up until you notice”, Sigurd hiccupped, “Or at least until you admit you feel the same for her”.

Ivar frowned. They knew. But how? He knew his brothers, and they would only mess this all up if he had told them.

Being the youngest, he had seen his brothers have their hearts broken, especially Ubbe’s.

Breaking up with his long-time girlfriend, and childhood friend as well, meant for them to lose contact with her completely, and that scared Ivar.

Like, really. He was scared to the point that, if confessing meant losing you, he would rather dig his own grave and let some wild dogs rip his arms and legs out until he no longer breathed.

Yes, that much you meant to him. Not only Ivar, but to his brothers as well.

You were like the glue that stick them together, for he knows they wouldn’t be talking to each other anymore if it wasn’t because you were there to help them solve their problems.

Like that one time he and Sigurd had the biggest argument and you literally took him by his ear, forced him to eat his own ego, and apologise to Sigurd for ruining his possible ‘potential long-termed relationship’ by telling the girl he had a fart kink.

“Ivar!”, you snapped him out of his daydreaming, sighing “I’m fucking talking to a brick”

“I’m sorry”, he said, “I was thinking. There’s a lot on my mind right now, I’m really sorry, Y/N”.

“Then let it all out, Ivar, you know that’s what I’m here for”, you smiled softly, taking his hands in yours.

You really had no idea what you did to him.

You cleared his mind whenever you talked to him, and gave him goosebumps whenever you held his hands or snuggled up to him every time you slept over at their place and they chose to watch a horror film

What both of you weren’t aware of is that both Ubbe and Hvitserk did it on purpose, since they were able to see how much you liked to be close to him, feeling his warmth when he put his arms around you and told you repeatedly how he would protect you if anything happened to you, as well as how much he enjoyed being able to be the one to calm you on stressing situations.

Suddenly your phone, which was on the table as well, lit up. You both looked over as a knee-jerk action, and he noticed you had a picture of him as your wallpaper.

“You have some explaining to do as well, miss”, he said, smiling, “I don’t remember giving you permission to use me as your wallpaper”

“Ah, shut up, you know very well I don’t need it”, you laughed, “You’ll have your explanation, but you go first”

“I really have no choice, right?”, he smiled softly while you shook your head no.

He shifted in his seat, facing you as well, and took your other hand in his. You heard him take the biggest breath of air while looking down at your intertwined hands, and you were able to see fear in his eyes when he looked back at you.

“I’m scared, Y/N”, he started, “I’m scared of doing something that could make you run away from me”

You stared at him, your breath stuck in your throat.

“I could never leave you, Ivar, none of you. Tell me what’s wrong, please”, you said, tightening your hold in his hands, trying to reassure him you weren’t leaving.

He took both of your hands and lead them towards his mouth, kissing them softly before supporting his forehead on them.

“Just tell me, Ivar, don’t overthink it. I’m sure whatever it is, we can make it work, nothing bad will happen if you and I stick together, remember?

You felt him smile in your hands. He straightened his back and snuggled you close to him until you were sitting in his lap facing him. He then hugged you tightly, pulling you as close as he could. You felt him shaking a bit.

“It’s okay, Ivar, we don’t have to talk about it now, I’m sorry if you feel pressured”, you told him.

“I just can’t find the right words”, he sighed. “I didn’t think I would ever have to tell you all this shit I’m feeling, I’m so sorry”.

“Don’t be, and don’t say those things about yourself”, you hugged him tightly, “You’re the most amazing person I know, Ivar. You have your tantrums, yes, but who doesn’t?”

You took his face into your hands, and looked him in the eyes.

“I love you, Ivar. You know damn well I love the four of you with all my heart, but out of all of them, you’re the most intelligent, talented, and handsome. You hear me?”, you asked, and he nodded, “And it doesn’t matter how bad whatever that’s going on inside that stubborn head of yours, I’m not going anywhere, okay? It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me yet, I understand, and it’s completely fine”

You were about to keep talking, but, as you were about to do so, he put one of his hands over your mouth while his other one kept you still and close to him by circling around your waist.

“I don’t deserve you. None of us do, actually, but I couldn’t care less about them now”, he started, “I... Remember that time when we went on a picnic that turned into a photo session and then in a cinema date, months ago? That day made me realize I was starting to catch feelings for you. I thought it was just the heat of the moment, but once they came, those feelings never left. I found myself thinking even more about you, and all I knew was that I didn’t see you as a friend anymore”

You frowned, scared of what he could say.

He took off his glassed and put them on the table and rubbed his eyes before looking back at you with the most sparkly eyes you had ever seen.

“Don’t think of this as a bad situation. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me, and I know how awkward you get whenever a guy tells you he likes you, or how you don’t even speak to boys after you go out on a date with them. That’s why I didn’t tell you all this before. I don’t want you to feel strange around me. God, I should have kissed you when I dropped you off at your parents’ house that night. You looked so pretty back then”

He was caressing your face now. You were trying to get all those words he had said into your head. You were trying to believe this was really happening and was not some made-up scenario happening in your head while you were trying to sleep.

“You mean so much to me, Y/N”, he continued, “I don’t even know what I would do if you weren’t around anymore. I don’t want you to leave my side, I feel like I need to know what is like to kiss you whenever I want, to make love to you until we can no longer breath. It may sound childish, or stupid, but I need to know what is like to be loved by you”

You felt like your heart was going to get out of your chest from how hard it was beating.

Ivar, your Ivar, the one you’ve loved for so many years, was here confessing to you.

You couldn’t find the words to tell him you felt the same, and that you were never in your life going to leave him, so you did what your mind, body and heart told you to.

You kissed him. And he kissed you back with such passion you thought you were going to run out of air. You were holding his face firmly while he snaked his arms around your waist again, pulling you as close as possible without breaking apart from the kiss.

You both knew what this kiss meant. You both knew that, after this night, nothing would ever be the same between you; at last, it was going to get the best it could. You both were telling the other one that you loved them deeply. You both were giving your hearts and souls to each other.

You leaned back until your forehead touched his, and whispered a soft “I’m in love with you”.

“I’m so in love with you too, Y/N, you have no idea”, he whispered back.

#ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar x reader #ivar the king #ivar fanfic #ivar scenario #ivar imagine #vikings #vikings au #vikings imagine #vikings scenario #modern!vikings #modern au

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itspufflehuff · 3 years ago

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My Eyes Adore You - Steve Rogers Imagine X Barnes!Reader

Summary: Inspired by the song My Eyes Adore You by Frankie Valli.

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

If anyone ever has any imagine requests I would love to hear them! My inbox is always open. I write for other MCU characters/ actors.

Word Count: 1,975

~~~~

"You are now husband and wife. Let's go eat some cake!" Bucky shouted. There was a piece of fabric similar to a veil covering your face, you rolled your eyes even though he couldn't see. "There is no cake!" You smacked him with the bouquet of fake flowers in your hand.

Bucky groaned, "If you're going to have a fake wedding can you at least get some real cake?"

Steve stood there awkwardly tugging at the suit that was way too big for him, he borrowed one of Buckys for this joyous event, "Can I please take this off its very uncomfortable."

You ripped the "veil" off your head, "Ok I guess."

This was how a typical day at your house would be. Steve would often come over to hang out with Bucky, your older brother. You didn't have too many friends who were allowed at your house so you made do with what you had. You would often drag Steve and Bucky into one of your games, it was hard to say no to you with those puppy dog eyes. Your brother loved you, even though he hated to admit it, and would do anything to keep you safe and happy. Even if that meant giving up his best friend to be your fake groom.

Your excuse was that you were bored and had no one else to play wedding with, but in reality, you had a huge crush on your brother's best friend, even if he was skinny, nerdy, and had a lot of medical problems. That just made him even more adorable to you.

On days when Bucky stood homesick Steve would walk you to school and back home. He was only a grade older than you so he didn't mind. Eventually, he got so used to walking you to school he would wake up early after he graduated and meet you at your house to take you. He carried your books to school and back.

His excuse was that he was protecting his best friend's sister, but the truth was over the years he started to develop feelings for you. He never thought he'd have a chance with you. In his eyes you were the most beautiful and wonderful woman he'd ever meet, so why would you want to be with a loser like him?"

As time went on Prom season came around. All of the girls at school were buzzing with excitement about their dates and what they would wear.

"Have you found a date for the prom yet?" Bucky asked.

"Umm yeah, Micheal Colgan asked me yesterday. I haven't accepted yet, I said I needed some time to think." You responded nervously.

"Isn't he the kid who smokes all day and skips school?" Your brother was starting to sound angry.

"Yes..." you trailed off.

"Well, you can tell him you're going with someone else. I don't want you hanging around that delinquent."

"Who am I supposed to go with then?"

Steve who was in the bathroom walked into the room rolling up his sleeves, "Steve can take you!" Bucky pointed, proud of his decision.

Steve looked up confused, "Huh?"

"Steve, buddy, would you do my sister the honor of taking her to the prom?" Bucky walked over to him patting his back.

"I would love to take you as long as you're ok with that Y/N."

"I suppose you're my best option." You smiled softly. Bucky was happy even though you didn't seem too excited about it. What he didn't know was this was your plan all along. You couldn't exactly ask your brother's best friend to go to prom with you. So you came up with a plan. You knew if you told Bucky the school's bad boy asked you out he wouldn't allow it thus offering up his best friend as a second option.

Just like when you were kids.

You walked to your room with butterflies in your stomach knowing prom would be the best night of your life.

Prom consisted of very awkward interactions. Steve wanted to be respectful of his best friend's sister so he tried to keep his distance from you. Even the dancing was awkward as everyone around you was holding each other close and Steve pretended there was a third person standing in between you.

Still, you had fun. Once you got home Steve apologized for the way he acted. Bucky asked Steve to spend the night since it was pretty late so he agreed. Bucky passed out way before the both of you so you and Steve stood up late talking and laughing. Everything seemed to be going great, then you scooted closer to him and it was like a switch flipped. He straightened up clearing his throat and sent himself to bed.

You were never sure why his mood changed so much that not but you tried not to overthink it.

Years went on with nothing happening between the two of you. Then one day your whole world flipped. Bucky was being drafted for the war and later that night Steve was joining. You had hoped that with Bucky gone you would at least have Steve but things didn't turn out the way you hoped.

You spent every day for years worrying about your brother. When you read about Steve taking the serum and being paraded around like a show doll you were relieved. Sure he wasn't fighting the war as he hoped but at least he was safe. That was until he went awol and joined the war anyway. Now instead of worrying about Bucky only you worried about Steve. You prayed to anyone who would listen to bring these two men back home.

The day you found out the war was won and all of the soldiers were coming back home you cried. You couldn't stop crying no matter how hard you tried. Your prayers were answered and you would finally see Bucky and Steve again.

You meet Bucky and Steve at the train station the day they arrived. You jumped into your brother's arms crying. He would never admit it but he cried a little bit that day. Steve stood beside him awkwardly. He was very nervous about how you would react to the new him. It was very weird to have Steve who used to be the same height as you now towering over you. You couldn't help but laugh, "Captain."

He smiled with open arms, "Come here." You melted into his touch. You missed him so much. "I hope you didn't get into too much trouble while we were gone."

"I may have ended up in jail once or twice." You shrugged with a straight face. The two men standing in front of you looked a bit scared, "You're kidding right?" Bucky pipped up.

You rolled your eyes laughing, "Of course I'm kidding!" Bucky laughed relived wrapping his arm around your shoulder, "Thank God I thought I was going to have to lecture you." For the first time in forever, the three of you walked home.

A few weeks after their return home Bucky left you home alone. He was worried about you so he sent Steve to watch over you.

You were in your room reading when you heard a soft knock on the door. You looked up from your book to see Steve leaning against the frame, "May I come in?"

"Of course," you straightened yourself up dangling your feet off the side of your bed.

Steve walked in nervous standing at the foot of your bed, "You can take a seat you know?" You chuckled at his adorableness. He laughed along, "Right, thank you." He sat beside you on the bed, "Since I got back we haven't had much time to catch up on how you've been the past few years." Steve spoke.

"Yeah we haven't really gotten some time alone, usually Bucky is here to talk my ear off." You both laugh.

"That is very true, he sure can talk a lot." It got silent for a few seconds before Steve cleared his throat, "So how have you been? What have you been up to while we were gone?" He shifted his weight causing the bed to slightly move.

"I did ok. I tried to keep myself busy because if I was home for too long I would start to worry about you and Bucky." You looked down at the ground.

"Was there anyone special around to keep you company?" He asked averting his eyes away from you.

Your head shot up to him, "No just my friends."

He nodded unsure of what to say next. "What about you? Did you find any European ladies while you were out saving the world? I'm sure you had lots of women interested."

"What? No, well some of the ladies did try but I didn't." He stammered.

You furrowed your eyebrows still looking at him, "Why not?"

He finally looked up at you, "There was someone special I had on my mind."

"Oh, do I know the lucky lady?"

He chuckled nervously, "Um yes you do actually."

"Well, what are you doing babysitting me? You should go be with her." You tried to sound happy.

He reached for your hand, "What if I said I was already with her?"

"What?" You were speechless. It was like all of the words in your head fell out and you couldn't speak.

"Y/N, I like you. I've liked you ever since we were kids and you would make me pretend to marry you. I used to get so excited when Bucky couldn't take you to school because it meant I got to be alone with you and even though your books were too heavy for me I loved carrying them so you didn't have to. My prom was horrible but when I went with you, gosh, I was so nervous but I didn't want to be too forward, after all, you are my best friend's sister. But I like you so much, I always have. I never thought I was good enough for you Y/N, you deserve a man who can protect you, and for the longest time that wasn't me but now? I fought in the war and am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I finally feel like the man you have always deserved."

You felt both happy but disappointed. All this time Steve thought he wasn't good enough for you? That was the craziest thing you'd ever heard. You turned your body and took both of his hands into yours, "Not good enough for me, Steve what are you talking about? Why do you think I loved playing wedding with you so much and why I would make up any excuse to hang out with you and Bucky? It wasn't because I liked spending time with him I'll tell you that right now. Steve, I like you. I really really like you, ever since we were kids. Even when you were short and skinny, getting beat up every day of the week, not because you're tall and buff and fought in a war. You have always been the bravest, sweetest man I've ever known. So for you to think you weren't good enough for me is insane."

He smiled, "I want to be with you Y/N. I spent so many years wishing I could be with you and I don't want to waste any more time. Would you go on a date with me?"

"Steve, I would love nothing more." You smiled. He jumped in excitement like he won the lottery. You laughed as you watched the dorky man celebrate in front of you. He stood in front of you with the biggest smile on both of your faces. He softly placed his hands on your cheeks looking into your eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

You nodded leaning in, "Yes."

He closed the space in between you giving you a sweet kiss, the first of many to come.

TAG LIST

@justreadingficsdontmindme @majo240820 @yougottalovefandoms

#Chris Evans #CHRIS JAMAL EVANS #captain america imagine #captain america #marvel #steve rodgers imagine #steve x reader #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #mcu #marvel imagine #imagine #fanfic #chris evans imagine

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angelisverba · 5 years ago

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no need to be sorry

in which y/n realizes she loves Jason, and he can’t touch himself to the thought of her because it makes him feel guilty

word count: 12.8k

pairing: y/n and her brother’s best friend, jason

warning: strong mentions of sexual trauma and abuse. please read at your own caution if you are not comfortable with that .

author’s note: originally this was supposed to be a super long piece (and the last one) but i wanted to put something else to make the last part even longer :) THIS IS NOT EDITED, sorry not sorry hehe

March is a very confusing month.

For y/n, it meant SAT cramming and intensive camps for the retake in may. A maxed out speed on her brain as to keep up her grades (and even improve them because God knows her math grade needs urgent care) and constantly keep her nose in her books because finals were approaching soon.

For Jason, and the entire senior class for that matter, it meant renting out tuxedos and making appointments at the beauty salon in preparation for prom, buying tickets for prom, finding a prom date, asking out said date in a cutesy way that was memorable for both parties.

It meant asking y/n to be his prom date, but not drag her away from her studies because that just wouldn’t be fair.

Hell, Jason still hadn’t taken his girl out on a second date because she was such a busy bee, and had to settle for ‘study dates’. Really it was just him watching her chew on her bottom lip as she transferred notes from her chemistry textbook to her notebook, his own work splayed out in front of him, meaning to be completed but his attention diverted elsewhere. She’d glance up with burning cheeks to tell him that his glasses were sliding down his nose, and Jason— quite nearly in a hypnotic daze— would smile dopily at her and say ‘you’re so pretty’. She would shush him and tell him to get to work, or sometime ask for his help, and Jason would use that as an excuse to wrap his arm around her waist telling her ‘gotta whisper love, come close’ and proceed to explain how the law of gas, ideal gas, and Dalton’s Law of partial pressure differentiated from each other.

He didn’t mind this. Any time he got with her he treasured, but god did he want to keep her tucked at his side at all times to show him off. It was selfish of him to be jealous that she wasn’t spending time with him when all she wanted to do was study for her future; for college. Selfish because Jason already had everything worked out. He’d gotten a scholarship to his dream school via football and his good-ish grades. Dorming and transportation was all set-up; he was 100% ready to go.

But y/n? She’d confessed to Jason that she had no idea what she was doing with her life. That she was studying and doing all these things to look good for her college application, but her biggest fear was that they still wouldn’t accept her and she’d wind up going to community college. There were times where her bouncing leg would violently shake their table in the library so much, Jason would drag her out of the chair and take her on a short walk around the library (if her eyes were teary he’d sneak her into a corner and peck at her eyelids softly until she giggled). An effective strategy that resulted in a noticeable tent at his crotch, and a dreamy-eyed y/n that peeked up at him through her lashes with heated cheeks.

He’d say, “Are you relaxed now? Or should we go home?”

Home was his house. Y/n had her home, and Jason had his- respectively- but he referred to his place as ‘home’ and she never bothered to correct him. More often than not (once it got to this point) y/n would nod and they’d head over to his place.

And, well, who was she to pass up that opportunity?

Y/n enjoyed reading her dog-eared SAT book on Jason’s bed and falling asleep on her crossed arms. Only because she would wake up an hour or so later, glued next to his side, with him also napping, lips puffy and hair extra fluffy. His hair, how a complete chocolate brown color, closely cropped since he’d cut off all the blond, fanned on the pillow and curled around the frames of his tortoise-shell glasses that he never remembered to take off.

She’d always take them off for him, and the movement would startle him awake, his green eyes fluttering awake, eyebrows furrowed in a confusion that disappeared when he realized that it was just her. His sweet y/n with sleepy eyes who took his glasses off ever so gently, and reached over him to place them on his bedside.

They were wrapped up in their own little personal heaven when they were together, alone, and it was only disrupted when it was time for Jason to take y/n home. Grabby hands and kissy faces consumed them when she received a questioning text from her parents or brother, and the whole ‘do you really have to go’ ordeal took its course. And maybe- just maybe- Jason enjoyed the goodbyes because y/n always put extra effort into her goodbye kiss, leaning and pressing up against his mouth so their noses were squished against each other, her hand at the collar of his shirt to pull him even closer, communicating to him how much… how much she would miss him.

She knew that Jason understood, and when they broke apart with a wet suction noise, and her eyes fluttered open to meet his, Jason knew that she knew that he knew what she was trying to say. It was a slight moment of vulnerability on her part, because it was the closest they’d get to admitting/discussing the sexual parts of their relationship. Or rather, the lack of.

But never mind that, it didn’t matter to any of them. They could be intimate without having sex.

Right?

* �� * *

Jason was confused.

As silly as it was, prom was a big deal. It signified the closing of an era in a teenager’s life; the end of high school. A party to honor their struggles and begin a transition to a period of more struggles.

Traditionally, you attend a dance with a date. A girlfriend, a crush, a last resort. One could go with friends but, Jason has a girlfriend now and he’d be damned if he didn’t take his pretty girl and show off that he was the one that got her in the end.

The only issue was: the prom-posal.

He knew that y/n and him didn’t hang in the same crowd, and while they were both mellow, y/n held a little more reserve to public announcements.

She was shy.

Needless to say, Jason had a very big quest on his shoulders; to find a way to ask y/n out to prom in a way that was memorable and attune to her likings. He thinks he doesn’t think he'd be able to get over it if he messed this up.

“Jason? Bro are you even listening?” Andrew asked from across the lunch table. Kent stuffed french fries into his mouth, and glanced from both his friends.

“Sorry, man. What was that?” Jason presses the lock button on his phone, and places it down on the table.

“I was talking about the rager at Greg’s, is everything alright? You’ve been distant for a few days now, not having issues with y/n are you?” Andrew’s facial features darkened slightly, the deep concerns for his sister shining through his demeanor. Kent picked on the change of atmosphere, and his chewing stops.

Jason sighed, his shoulders slanting downwards and the fabric of his letter-man jacket coming to a close at his chest. His heart-shaped lips come to a pensive pucker, debating if he should tell his best friend what was on his mind.

At the troubled look on his face, Kent smiles encouragingly, and says, “You know you can tell us anything, J.” Andrew turns to look at his Kent while he’s speaking, and when he turns back to Jason, he nods, a knowing glimmer in his eyes.

“What’s up?” His girlfriend’s brother leans forward, prepared to listen.

“I don’t know how to ask y/n to go to prom with me.”

Andrew and Kent’s facial expression drop to a deadpan, and Jason’s eyebrows furrow in response, confused at their reaction.

“What?” He looked back and forth between his two unimpressed friends, who suddenly burst into laughter; snickering and pointing fingers at him through wheezed words.

“You’re fucking whipped,” Kent said, slapping a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and doubling forward.

“My sister,” their laughter calms down momentarily, “has you this upset?” And at his comment, the boys start laughing again, loud enough that it drags the attention of nearby tables.

“Guys,” the corner of Jason’s lips struggle to stay down. “It’s not funny.”

“Yeah, it is. Your panties are in a twist because of y/n,” Kent said, “Where is she?” He stands up from the bench and glances around the cafeteria, looking for her.

Jason’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops, amazed at his friend’s response. “Dicks,” he mutters. “She’s with her English teacher, preparing for an exam.”

Andrew’s chuckles die down again, and he shakes his head while rubbing his fingers on his forehead, grinning. “Deadass?”

“Yes!” Jason juts his head forward, nodding wildly. “Help me!”

Kent sits again, and places his chin on his palm. “Just go with what she likes, man.”

“Gee, thanks so much.” The stressed boy looks away, defeated.

Perhaps, it was a mistake bringing it up. Instead of receiving help, they were taking the piss out of him. He thought that maybe, because Andrew was related to the girl he was dating, he’d be a bit of hel-

“She keeps bugging me to take her to the aquarium.”

Jason whips his head around to look at his friend, crossing his arms on the table and leaning with interest.

“The aquarium?” He asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, they remodeled a few exhibits and she’s been wanting to see them. Sent me a text about it a few days ago,” Andrew reached back to pull out his phone from his back pocket, unlocking it and pulling up a thread of texts from his sister. “Look.”

The boy takes the phone from his friend’s hand. Y/n had sent her brother a link to the aquarium’s announcement of a reopening that occurred a few weeks before, along with ‘pleeease can we go? pleeease?’ and a puppy-eyed emoji. Andrew had only sent a curt ‘we’ll see’ to which the girl responded with screenshots of seals and penguins.

A pang hit him straight in the heart, and he was saddened that she hadn’t asked him, given that he had refrained from taking her out in fear of distracting her from her studies. Yet, here she was asking to be taken to the aquarium, and Andrew showed no interest.

“Take her. Ask her there. The only reason why I haven’t taken her is because she’ll ask for something from the gift shop and they’re expensive as fuck.” Andrew shrugged.

Bingo.

With a composed look, he clicked off the phone and slid it back. On the inside, he was hopping up and down, pumping his arms with joy because everything had clicked, and he knew exactly what to do.

* * *

Y/n still felt butterflies every time Jason looked at her.

Every girl wanted to be looked at by someone the way he looked at her.

A soft, dreamy daze that took over his face, eyes shining with an enamored gleam. Lashes fluttering adoringly, and lips coming together in a smirk, like he held all kinds of secrets and wanted to share them with her. His look alone said it all. I want you and only you.

It was overwhelmingly passionate. So intimate; an open admission with no shame.

“You’re not even paying attention to me,” she whined, flopping over onto her back and throwing an arm over her head.

They were- as usual- laying on Jason’s bed, with one of y/n’s textbooks spread open in front of them.

“Can’t help myself,” he pushed up his glasses and raked his hair back. “You’re so pretty it’s distracting.”

At that, y/n turned herself over so she laid next to Jason again, but her face was still nestled in the crook of her arm where her cheeks flamed. “Stop it,” she said, words muffled.

“I’m serious.” She felt his weight dip on the bed, his hand coming to brush away hair that blocked the side of her face, and then puffs of air on her arm. Tilting her head so her eye peeked out, she saw that Jason’s mouth was hovering millimeters away from her skin, and when her eyes glanced up, an intense emerald gaze fixed on hers. “Like an angel, you are.”

Fire, heat, tingles littered the areas where his lips pressed against a trail into his skin. A blossoming feeling of affection imprinted onto her arm, and up to her cheek, where his lips lingered right underneath her lashes.

It became too much for her to handle, her heart and mind becoming muddled and confused through the overwhelming sensations that traveled throughout her nerves. Her cognitive senses seemed to refuse to acknowledge the difference between welcomed attention and… unwanted but forced attention. And, in efforts to prevent a hysteric scene or breakdown, she sprung up from her position, pressing a quick kiss into Jason’s cheek so he wouldn’t suspect anything, and sitting so she was almost completely off the bed.

Jason watched her with… rejection. But, she wouldn’t know that because she refused to meet his eyes. Instead she said, “Have you got marshmallows in the cupboard?”

“Uhh,” Jason cleared his throat, standing up and heading out of his room. “Yeah, I think so.”

She followed after him, shoulders hunched; ashamed. Mentally, she was pushing away repressed trauma from what seemed like yesterday. A haunting memory that refused to leave like paranoia.

“Tiny ones or…?” He heads straight for the silver door knob next to the fridge, stepping in to squat at the lower shelves. Y/n stands in the doorway, hands awkwardly at her sides.

“The big ones, please.” She doesn’t look up when he extends his hand to give her the fluffy white bag, and he doesn’t ask what's wrong.

Silently, y/n walks over to the kitchen island to pluck a skewer out of the drawer, and pops her hip to shut it. Jason lifts himself to sit on the countertop, his white shirt lifting to expose the pale sliver of skin that escaped from his grey sweatpants. Out the corner of her eye, she could see the enticing movement, and it caused her hands to shake, but she hid it in the twisting wrist movement of turning on the stove.

A tearing noise comes from behind her, blending in with the clicking noises of the stove turning on. Jumping at the startling disruption, she turns to see Jason with an Oreo midway to his mouth. He gives her an open lipped smile, eyes wide as if shocked, and it makes her burst into a chuckle.

“Can I get one?” She asked.

Wordlessly, he passed her a cookie. She took it, and it seemed that he purposely grazed his fingers over her palm.

Y/n yanked her hand away like he’d burned her.

Alarmed, Jason hops off the counter and moves to stand next to her.

“Y/n, is everything al-”

“Do you want a marshmallow?” She interrupted him, her breaths tense.

“Uh, no.” He said, his head slightly shaking in disbelief at her actions. Had he done something wrong?

The girl stabbed the skewer through the white candy, and twirled it over the flames, the edges quickly turning a golden color.

“Baby, what’s wr-”

It catches fire, and her lips blow them off before it turns completely black, the fuh noise that escapes overpowering Jason’s gentle words. She was scared of breaking in front of him. She was scared to show him how much she was holding in.

“Can you hold this?” Voice small and squeaky.

He took the skewer out of her hands, holding it while she opened the oreo cookie. Knowing what she was gonna do, he gingerly placed the melted marshmallow on top of the frosting covered cookie, and pulled away when she sandwiched the top cookie on top.

Y/n takes a bite out of the treat, and relishes in the slightly burnt, woodsy taste of the white taffy and how it melts on her tongue and slides with ease down her throat. So much so, that a small noise of appreciation comes from the depths of her chest.

“S’good?” Jason asked, a breathy-uneasy- laugh whooshing through his nose.

She’s nodding before she looks up at him, and her head stills when she locks eyes with him.

It’s the same, intense, focused look from before.

The one that promised so much. And it just- god she was so confused.

So confused that she leaned forward to kiss him, disregarding the fact that- in that moment- she didn’t want affection. She needed a bit of distance and time to process her emotions.

And instead of doing so, she lunged and connected herself to him in a smoldering embrace of their mouths. A sudden flood of inexplicable physical impressions, claiming, pleading.

Jason didn’t hesitate to respond, his hands appearing to cup at her cheeks, thumbs gingerly rubbing on the apples of her cheeks. He breathes deeply; a sharp inhale into her mouth that pulled his frame taught against hers. The forgotten treat pressed up against the divot of his pectoral muscles.

The instant his tongue snaked into her mouth, he was bombarded with the warm and sweet taste of her mouth. Marshmallows and just her essence crowding over his taste buds; his nose also breathing in the fruity scent of her hair and woodsy burnt candy. Urgently, his lips suckled on her lower lip, y/n gasping at the sudden, ardent actions.

Had she been any other girl, that would have been the night she finally let herself have sex with Jason.

The mood was right; they were both bleeding mad for each other.

But, y/n was y/n and that’s not how she was wired to go. Her mind began again with the confusion, her heart rate picking up double the rates from both the proximity of the boy and what was going to happen if the kiss continued. Did she want this? Fuck, of course she wanted this! Why was she…

“She’s not gonna do it because she’s a prude!” said one of the girls in the room.

“No, I’m n-”

“Yeah, you are y/n. You’re a virgin. Probably wouldn’t even know what to do,” said the same girl.

Y/n had been invited to a party that the cheerleaders in her class were throwing, and boys from rival school had been invited to. They were all sitting in a circle- enough people to fill up the living room of a rich man’s house- playing a game of truth or dare, and they’d just gotten to y/n.

She’d gotten dared to give one of the football players of the opposing school a blowjob… in the middle of the living room, with everyone watching. When they all saw her face fall, redden, and then pale, no one wasted time to verbally pounce on her hesitance.

“Look at her! She’d pathetic Marcy, she’s not gonna do it.” The girl who invited her, Marcy, looked at her with a smirk.

Embarrassed, and just numb to everything that was going on around her as well as what may come depending on her decisions. All she knew is that she needed to do this because she’d look bad if she didn’t. She didn’t want to be known as a prude. Even if she was a virgin. She didn’t want to be thought of badly.

“Yes, I will.” Her meek reply had silenced the whole room.

“Come over here, and blow me.” Chris was a sophomore that was known for his promiscuous ways, and the fact that he had a big… that was evident when y/n came to kneel in front of him.

Shaking, she sat in front of him with wide eyes, her back burning with stares and her heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her hands.

Throughout it all, she felt disgusting. Ashamed. And unable to breathe because the guy wasn’t letting her come off, holding her down with a strong grip in her hair. Tears burned on her lashes and down her cheeks, partly from being unable to breathe, and the other because she was scared.

God, she was so scared. What would happen to her when this got out? What then? When everyone knew what she’d done? There were more than enough witnesses present to attest that she’d given head to a guy she didn’t even know.

She’d felt a hand on her breast, and her eyes snapped open from their painful clench; alarmed. The guy sitting next to Chris had leaned over to touch her, and at her scared look he only laughed and continued to do it. His hand trailed lower and lower, and eventually she felt something hot spill down her aching throat. Her ears were ringing, her eyes bleary.

Much of how she escaped had been... blurred through her panic.

But the feeling… that dreadful, terrorized feeling. It was what deer felt moments before being impacted by a car.

She’d never forget it.

It was the same feeling creeping up on her then. The niggling, freezing, ambushed fear. It’s the reason why she pulled away from him, and said in a wet whisper, “I can’t.”

She hugs her arms across her chest, oreo still in hand, and turns away with her eyes dropped to the floor. Y/n’s mind is reeling, utterly confused and just so scared scared scared.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jason asked, trailing after her to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. His lips are a dark shade of pink, the skin of his cheeks a flushed color; if one were to look down, they’d see the heather grey color of his sweatpants was slightly lifted. But his arousal was pushed aside by his concern towards the small girl, who shivered when his fingers grazed her shoulder. He could see her eyes were shut closed, but a tear escaped to roll down her cheeks, and at that the thick hairs of his brows dipped to crinkle on his forehead. “Y/n?”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, her words hitching and cracking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Jason pulled her into his chest, his head shaking no no no to her apologies. “There’s no need to be sorry, dovie. It’s okay. You’re alright.”

“But I am! I so sorry, Jason. I-” Her words died on her tongue, collapsed by a series of sobs that ruptured out of her lips. She was guilty. So so guilty. She felt like she was lying to him by not telling him of what had… occurred.

“Baby, baby, hey. Y/n,” He pulled back to cup her face with his hands again, forcing her to gaze into his calm, forest eyes. “Listen to me. Deep breaths,” he began to inhale, his chest expanding with the intake of air. “You’re okay. I’m not mad at you for anything, dove.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done,” Y/n sets the cookie on the counter, and goes to wipe at her eyes roughly, Jason tugging at her wrists and doing it himself, shushing her as he does.

“Well I can’t be mad if I don’t know, yeah?” He gives her a small smile. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“N-no,” she shakes her head. “No, I don’t.”

“Okay.” He nods, still smiling. “That’s okay. I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.”

Y/n just nodded and gave him a sad attempt to seem happy, but her chin began to tremble, crinkles appearing underneath her lip, and she rushed to dig her nose in the crook of Jason’s neck.

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d tell me what’s got you so upset.” He murmured into her hair, his arms wrapping around her.

“Please, Jason. I don’t wanna,” She sniffled. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Alright. I’ll stop asking. Don’t wanna stress you out anymore, dovie. You need a break as it is.” Jason rubs a warm hand up and down her back soothingly when he feels her nose dip into his collarbone.

She sniffles some more, a slight hiccup in her breaths, and Jason continues, “speaking of breaks,” this catches her attention, and y/n tilts her head so she’s able to rest it in his shoulder and look up at his side profile. “Would you like to go to the aquarium with me next week?”

At this, her head springs up so she’s eye level with Jason, her wet eyes gleaming as a surprised smile plays on her mouth. “The aquarium?”

“Yes, the aquarium.” Jason laughed at her response, his eyes flitting between hers. The skin of his chin crinkled because he was looking down at her, and y/n wondered how he still managed to look so good with a double chin. “A little birdy told me you’ve been wanting to go.”

Squealing, she said, “Oh my gosh, Jason please! Can we?!”

Jason pressed a small kiss to her nose, “Of course, silly. It’s why I asked.”

“I’ve been asking Andrew but he….” she trails off, and her eyes become squinty, “heeey, did he tell you?”

“Mayb-” She jumped suddenly at the feeling of her phone vibrating in her back pocket. The Simpsons theme song blaring through the quiet kitchen, and letting her know her brother was calling. Most likely to tell her it was time to come home.

“I’ll go get your stuff,” Jason mumbled, separating himself with a wistful look in his eye.

Y/n mumbled a ‘thank you’ and fished her phone out of her back pocket, pressing the green call button and holding it up to her ear.

“Hey, lover girl. Mom says it’s time to come home. See ya,” and he hangs up before y/n can even respond.

Rolling her eyes, y/n heads upstairs to help Jason pack her stuff with all her troubles plaguing her heart like weeds.

* * *

Y/n had eased up a little on her avid studying habits because the SAT had passed, and she studied hard enough that she wasn’t planning on re-taking the exam-- no matter the score. In addition to that, there was enough to place on her shelf to make her look… well, better than good. Years worth of community service work, volunteering, participating in and starting clubs, all about to finally pay off. It was surreal. Kinda stressful, too, but now that she had time off she wanted to decompress. Enjoy herself some.

To begin with, much of it was taking time off with herself. Meaning, no Jason, or Andrew, or her parents. Just her. She didn’t even have to explain to Jason that she wanted to be alone because after her initial comment of taking time off alone, he’d kissed her palm and murmured about how proud he was against her skin. No bitterness or spite attached. He’d even made a joke about ‘bro time with Andrew’.

The gym nearest to her house was offering a free month trial-- which just so happened to be the amount of time she was planning on taking to relax before starting to study for finals again-- and she took it up instantly when she found out that they offered yoga and guided meditation classes. It was most likely the best thing she’d ever done.

Apart from getting an hour of physical exercise a day (because yoga is harder than it looks) she was the most relaxed ever. Her sleep was the best it’s been in so long, and her body felt so light. Time to reflect, she’d decided, was very important.

Plus, her self-esteem had gone up knowing she was doing something to better herself for* herself.

For the most part, that was how most of her days went.

Go to school, sometimes she’d eat lunch with Jason, get a ride home from him (the goodbye kisses ignited her), head to the gym, come back home and fall right asleep. She took advantage of the first three periods to finish any work that she had to turn in.

It’s only logical that she’d be nervous the day of her date with Jason, since it hadn’t been on her mind at all, and she hadn’t been spending time with the boy so his presence has not consoled her. An anxious fervor had plotted itself in the depths of her belly, goading her like a devil on her shoulder. Better watch how you act, it said, or you’ll fuck this all up.

Jason was the same way.

The poor boy had also taken to working out to release his...stress. Sleepless nights were spent with the weight-rack in his father’s home gym- arms aching from the strain of bench pressing. Shirtless torso draped in a sheen of sweat, flushed a pink color and littered with prominent veins as he pulled his body upwards, jaw clenched and mind focused, having already reached the point where he listens to his body’s begs for mercy. Rhythmic release of tense breaths escaped through the hard line of his lips, muscles defined under a glint of perspiration beneath the lights of the room, shorts low on his hips. His curls dripped salty beads down the line of his nose, and matted on his forehead.

He lost himself in the repetitive movements, body going numb until his brain turned off.

It was almost better than sex. Hell he did it to forget about sex.

He swears his body chose to betray him every time he was getting ready to fall asleep, projecting filthy images of a girl so sweet, he felt guilty just humoring them. Swollen red lips, hot mouths, soft hands, perky breasts blotchy with his marks. These pictures were so explicit and vivid in his brain about y/n, who was nothing but sweet and kind, and had never come close to even insinuating the things he imagined.

Hell on earth-- torture is what it felt like, having to ignore sticking a hand down his pants and pulling at himself until he found relief with such an innocent girl on his mind. It made him feel icky and gross because she was so pure. Jason preferred to turn to exhaustion of his body rather than pleasure. And, more often that not he greeted his father’s gym with a scowl and determination to distract himself, pushing himself until he was nothing but a breathless, strained heap laying all tired-out on the bench, salty beads running a path down his forehead and dripping down his neck where his shoulders drooped-- defeated.

Waking up the next day was a burning adventure; muscles feeling as if they’d been shot through and pricked with needles over and over again.

But, his dignity was still intact and he was able to look y/n in the eyes with no remorse. The one time he’d jerked off to her, he was a sweating, burning mess as he made his way up to her in the halls.

He’d learned his lesson then.

His nerves didn’t run as deep as y/n’s, but he did second guess himself the more intricate his plan got. Take a certain route, be there at a certain time so there wouldn’t be so full, alert the personnel of his presence.

Jason had approached his mother, Anne, the night that she had come home, and questioned her about her friend’s sister that worked as a zookeeper, to see if she had connections to the aquarium. Turns out, she did and-and,

“Honey, what’s the sudden interest in Penny’s sister?” She looked up at her son while chopping green onions.

Stammering, he rubbed his neck and said, “I was kinda… wondering- maybe, uhm… you could call in a favor for-for me…”

“What for?”

“I wanted to ask… y/n to prom at the uhm.. The aquarium,” his cheeks go pink and he can’t keep steady eye-contact with his mother. She’s smiling at him knowingly, smiling at him from underneath the lip of the wine-glass she holds up to her mouth.

She smacks her lip, “Y/n? The prom? When did this happen?” Anne smirked at him, scraping the onions off the cutting board with a knife onto the pan.

This would be the moment where the distraught teenage boy goes off on his mom for being absent and not knowing a single thing about him. Slam his firsts against the counter-top while sneering.

But Jason loved his mother and they maintained good communication, so there would be none of that. “Start of February…” He bites his thumb.

The sound of sizzling onions is what fills in the silence of their gazes. His mother slowly nodded her head, and Jason blushing.

“I knew it.”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?”

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, I knew.”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at his mother’s statement. “What?”

“I knew this would happen. I knew it the day she first came in with Andrew. The instant you said her name, and that look in your eye…” She gleamed at her son. “You love her, don’t you?”

The boy gaped at his mother. Had he really been that transparent from the beginning? So much so that not even he had noticed his feelings? “You knew?”

“Course I did. Pushed you out of me didn’t I? Know you like the back of my hand.” His mother set the glass down and continued cutting vegetables. “It’s a mother’s instinct to know when her boy has been swept off his feet.” A soft pat on the cheek meets a dazed Jason. “Now, what’s this favor you wanted?”

* * *

Y/n was scared to admit how deep her feelings were for Jason.

Scared to admit that the usual fluttering gnaw at her ribs had developed into an inferno that took over her entire body, centering at her heart and spreading through her nervous system, leaving her skin a tingling network of her emotions.

Basically, take puppy love, and remove ‘puppy’. She loved him. With her entire being and more she loved him. She could see her life with him more secure than anything in her life, which was a big admission because the poor girl was all about security. And Jason made her feel more comfortable than anything in her life at that moment; he made her forget about anything that wasn’t them together in that moment.

The morning of their date was like one of those scenes in movies where the character just has that really big realization, and all her feelings hit her at once. Y/n pieced it all together in a few seconds. How much he meant to her, how she loved him* and how scary it would be if she were to admit her feelings and receive nothing in return.

It was at cause of these thoughts that her nerves revved up to their max, mind overthinking different ways that her feelings might cause this date to go wrong. Like something might slip from her lips; a rushed, urgent proclamation of her devotion full of jumbled stutters and met with a stunned look and a freshly single boyfriend.

“Honey, Jason’s here!” Called her mother at the base of the stairs.

Y/n watched herself grow pale in her reflection, teeth sinking in her bottom lip. No turning back now.

“Coming!” She took one last look at herself, pulling on the sleeves of the cardigan she layered over the long, white-eyelet dress she was saving for an occasion like this. It was a light, summer material with white embroidered flowers and a nice frilly detain around the waist. The creme cardigan served no purpose other than the fact that she was nervous, and covering up calmed her down. There wasn’t much to cover, but bare shoulders made her heart want to start a riot, screaming at her that people were looking and it was time to get anxious about whether she looked good or not.

She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the dewy makeup on her face, drawing her mind away from picking at it until it was perfect because it would never be that and it’s okay. Instead, she focused on what lay ahead of her for the day— and maybe that was a tad bit worse but that didn’t matter because she was already in the witch’s pot and the brew was boiling— her date with Jason looming with possibility. Not to mention, she’d finally be getting to see the newly added exhibits she was longing to see.

Cute baby sea lions, penguins and jellyfish that quickly outweighed all the disastrous scenarios filling her mind.

Skipping down the steps with an eager smile on her lips, y/n struggled to hold in all her happy squeaks because downstairs Jason was waiting for her and-

“There she is!” Her mother greeted her at the base of the stairs, and winked at her daughter with a smile, a cheeky expression displayed upon the fact that what was happening was a surprising event. Her little y/n going out on a date with none other than her favorite out of Andrew’s friends, Jason.

This would have been the moment in the movies where everything freezes and everyone else disappears. The camera comes to a zoom in on Jason and y/n’s faces, the screen split in half but it the same, dreamy, loved-up expression on both their faces. Y/n’s cheeks warmed with a soft flush and a cheek splitting grin on her mouth, lips that shined with the gloss she had put on them, and eyes that shined under the kitchen lights with an extra sparkle that had floated up from her chest that had become the cavern where she shoved all her emotions.

Jason is equally stunned, unsure of how his girlfriend could get any more beautiful. Bunny teeth on full display, hands in the pockets of his blue jeans. He wore a satin bomber jacket with a tiger on the lower right side of his abdomen that was perched on snow-capped mountains that stretched up to his chest, a swooping eagle on his left breast. Two buttons were left unclasped, the collar of a white under-shirt peeking out, and the dip of his breast-bone on display, highlighted by the glint of the golden cross necklace his grandmother had given him when he was eight.

Meanwhile he took in the sight of her, y/n did the same as well, eyes roaming all over his figure and settling on the eyes that were already set on hers. He loved how she turned a pretty bothered color when they locked dreamy gazes. How her demeanor changes to shy glances when he smiles at her all toothy- his dimples prominent on his cheeks. The boy straightened, looking proud to be able to take her on a date.

“Well are you guys gonna stare at each other all day, or go to the aquarium?” Andrew asked. He was standing at the kitchen entrance, a bag of Cheetos in his arm, and one cheek bulging with chips.

“Andrew!” His mother playfully swatted his bicep. “Be nice! You’ll be the same, just wait.”

“Ready to go?” Jason asked, giving a sluggish nod towards the door, his being still transfixed in y/n, who nodded equally as slow even though her heart raced a mile a minute. “Alright, let’s go then. I’ll bring her home before 10, Mrs. Y/L/N.” Y/n walked towards the hand that Jason stretched out for her to grab, her hand swimming in his. It suddenly made sense why he was able to launch a football 400 meters. His hands were big, with a wide palm and nimble fingers that wrapped around hers, the top of it striped with the pleasing ridged of his veins.

“Bye, hunnies! Have fun…. But not too much fun!” The mother clutched at her chest, her eyes soft at the sight of Jason opening the door for her daughter.

“Ew, mom!” Andrew said, crumbling the bag to a close and retreating up the stairs, presumably to his room. He stopped at the base, and turned to say, “And I’ll be here, the brother forgotten by this best friend, woe is me!”

His friend twisted around with a hand on the doorknob, “You know I love you, babe!”

Andrew said something stupid along the lines of ‘show me, ya stud!’ before his mother shushed him up and waved at the couple that it was okay to leave, approaching the doorway to lock up.

Y/n peeked sideways at Jason, finding him already looking at her with a cheeky smirk.

“Caughtcha looking,” He said, taking hold of her hand again and giving it a mall squeeze, leaning over to peck her cheek. “Missed you, y/n.”

She wanted to stop and pull him in by both sides of his face to smash their lips together, but she knew that her mom was probably watching through the window. “Wanna kiss you good so bad, but my mom’s probably watching through the window and I don’t wanna hear about it later.”

“It’s okay, baby, I know. Wanted to ravish you when I saw you coming down the stairs, but that’s not the most appropriate thing to do when my girlfriend’s mom is present, is it?” They reached his car, and he sped up slightly to open the door for her, placing a hand on the small of her back. The grip on her phone increased at the sudden warmth on her body, her mind jumping to dirty assumptions on where this could lead to.

She got in the car with a quiver in her belly, and it jolted away when Jason shut the door behind her. What was she thinking? Their relationship was built upon glances and sly touches, and how she was flustered in a non-sexual way over him? Strongly?

“Did you wanna get food anywhere before?” He said when he opened the door to his side, leg hiking up and to the side to take a seat. “Dunno ‘bout you, but I’m really really craving those chicken-avocado paninis from that one little coffee shop, and I know you really like their milk tea, what do you say?”

“I say that’s a really good idea.” Y/n said, nodding with a pinch on one side of her face, her true feeling hidden. Eyes trained at the way he held the steering wheel; one hand at 12 while he turned the key into the ignition. Maybe he would hold her neck while the other rubbed at her…

What the fuck? She needs to cut it out.

Clearing her throat and looking out the window she said, “I could definitely go for a milk tea right now…”

“Yeah? Are you excited for today?” He twists to check behind him before pulling out of his parallel position to the curb, and y/n uses that moment to glance at the smooth skin of his neck, imagining how it would feel underneath her fingertips… her mouth…

“Yes,” She chokes, saliva collecting at the back of her tongue and slipping through. There’s a small pause where she coughs, and Jason plucks a bottle of water from the glove compartment, the back of his hand grazing her knees and the tops of her thighs, which only makes her cough harder.

“Are you okay, my love? Here,” using the flat of his wrist to take hold on the steering wheel while he opened the bottle, “drink some. I don’t want you to die before you’ve seen the jellyfish.”

A feeble ‘thank you*’ left her lips before the water bottle occupied it. The liquid washed out anything that had agitated her, and she drank extra to fill the time for at least a few more seconds. She was terrified of doing something wrong.

The car was pulling up the parking lot of their local cafe when she placed the bottle in the cup holder between them. Jason didn’t have a clue what was going through her head, or the fact that he should be concerned because her thoughts had traveled to him fingering her while she made a mess of his seat. He was simply so grateful to be spending time with the girl who he loved.

Who he loved.

The boy had realized the extremities of his regards after his mother had spoken them aloud.

You love her don’t you?

Yes, yes he did. He had known that it was there. The guzzling, spritzy feeling he felt over his chest- like when a sip of a freshly opened can of Sprite goes down your throat- when he saw her, felt her touch, thought about her, had always been there. Always. It was there the day he bumped into her outside of the locker room, her tiny frame going unnoticed when he rounded the corner of the locker room where she was waiting for her brother because he was busy texting some girl, but the moment he heard a squeaky ‘oh, I’m so sorry!’, it was there.

In some aspects, Jason was a bit dense, and this was one of them. He didn’t act when he should’ve. Or at least recognized what was going on in that broad chest of his-- he doesn’t think he would’ve acted because Andrew wouldn’t have held back. They hadn’t developed such a strong bond to come to the understanding that they did (Jason had made a really bold statement about life long partners and Andrew had been too blown away to stay mad).

Jason loved y/n, and he always would; that was just facts.

“Wanna stay in here or go inside with me?” He asked her, taking the key out and placing a hand on the door.

She was lightning quick to say “With you!” a bashful look overcoming her when he looked at her all knowingly, like he could see right through her. “I’ll go with you so you don’t have to carry everything,” y/n blubbered in efforts to reclaim her dignity, and stepped out of the car.

He feigned being hurt, “Owie, that stung. Are you saying I’m not strong?” Jason followed after her, a playful pout in his lips, “Tell you what,” he placed an arm around her neck, tugging her close to him and putting his lips by her ear, “I can carry you and the food, at the same time.”

Tables with umbrellas were located at the front of the cafe, people sitting with their computers open or having a chat with friends. Some looked up, some didn’t, but the stares of those who did made y/n feel thousands of times shyer than what she felt.

The girl couldn’t help but squeeze the fabric of her sweater around herself, her thoughts getting the best of her, the feeling of his lips an enticing action that drove her mad…

He knew it too, chuckling to himself as he opened the door.

Inside, only a single person made up the line for ordering, and she was already in the process of giving the man her card to pay. Jason and y/n stood side by side, looking up at the menus as if they were thinking over their choices, but really just thinking about each other.

“Nex- Well, well, well.”

Y/n doesn’t think she had ever forgotten that voice. And hearing it ten, with Jason at her side, brought back the fear she hadn’t even begun to overcome. Her face went white, her lungs freezing, and her feet glued to the ground.

Shock, was the medical term for it.

When your body is submerged into temperatures it can’t handle, it goes through a series of procedures to attempt survival. It begins to slow down to conserve energy, shutting down to keep in heat, or await help. Hearts slow, lungs slow, and in extreme, abrupt situations, a person can faint.

At the appearance of Chris after nearly an entire year, y/n wanted to faint. She wished she had, that way she wouldn’t have to endure Jason’s confused glances, and Chris’s malicious, salacious smirk.

“Y/n, long time no see, baby.” He said, a piece of gum that he had hidden in his cheek appearing as he started to chew, leaning forward on the counter and giving Jason a once over. “Who’s that?”

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed at the audacity this guy had, calling his girl ‘baby’. Y/n wasn’t looking at him, she couldn’t- she wasn’t aware of what was happening anymore, retreated into deep parts of her brain- but had she, she would’ve seen a bone-chilling, intimidating look of dominance in his usually kind green eyes. “I’m her boyfriend, who are you?” He said, stepping forward so his thighs were flush with the edge of the counter. His body was pulled tight like the strings on a violin, one pluck away from releasing a disastrous melody.

Y/n’s eyes began to tear from not blinking them, her heart going from beating normal to beating so hard she could feel it in her fingertips, her stomach dropping like it had been ripped to her feet.

“Who am I?” Chris licked the inside of his cheek, and y/n gagged. Repulsed, her feet tripped over themselves in attempts to get to the trashcan by the pickup site. “There wasn't even anything in your mouth, babe! Guess that thing they say about muscle memory is true, huh?”

Jason didn’t pay attention to the last thing that he said because he ran over to hold his girlfriend’s hair, rubbing her back and whispering that ‘it’s okay, my love, take deep breaths’. Her body started to tremble when nothing came out, her eyes emitting actual tears now, feeling undeserving of Jason’s affection because of what she’d done.

“I’m so-rry,” she whispered, her face a splotchy, red color that made him panic on the inside at what could plague her. “Can we go?”

“Yeah,” He nodded quickly, no questions asked.”Yeah, let’s go.”

Y/n shot up then, practically running out of the store while Chris laughed a belly-clenching laugh that pushed her out further. Jason looked back at him once, anger on clear display because whatever the guy had done, it was bad if it made her this upset.

When he turned around, y/n’s figure was disappearing through the view of the store’s window, arms clutching herself as she ran to the parking lot. There were more stares than when they first arrived when he ran out after her with a call of her name.

“Y/n!” He turned the corner to see her yanking violently at his door handle, tears streaming continuously down her cheeks now. Her shoulder jerked back and pushed forward until her knuckles collided on the material of the car. She was hurting herself. “Hey!” He yelled, yanking her back and wrapping his arms around her torso to restrict her movements.

She thrashed for a few seconds, sobs leaving her until she went limp, which was when he let her go. His eyes were wide with concern, not being able to believe what had just happened.

“Dovie? Look at me, dovie,” With a curled finger, he gently encouraged her to look at him. Irritated, doe eyes blinked with... fear.

“Do you want me?” Were the words that left her mouth in a breathy tremble.

“I always want you,” Jason said, not hesitating to respond to her abrupt inquiry. His thick brown eyebrows were still knitted, however, and she knew that she owed him answers. As much as she couldn’t bring herself to give them up, y/n said,

“Would you want me even if I was used?” She shut her eyes tight, not being able to bear looking at him. It felt as if she were the one using him then, comforted by his presence, but lying to him as well.

He scoffed, head shaking. “Yes. Even then I’d still love you.” Jason’s composure remains the same,neither alarmed or shocked that he had let it ‘slip’ past his lips because he hadn’t. He loved her and he told her.

Y/n, on the other hand, burst into tears and dropped her head, her forehead on his chest, chanting a pathetic, “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Y/n, I need you to tell me what just happened,” He crooned into her ear, his lips kissing her head in attempts to show his affection to comfort her, “Let me help you.”

She shook her head, and the gold zipper of his sweater scratched her forehead when she did. “No. No, I’m sorry.” She looked up at him, her voice pleading, “I don’t want to ruin our date. Can I tell you after?” Jason looked at her with lips pressed into a firm line. “Please.” She begged.

“Not gonna ruin our date, dovie,” He kissed her right cheek, and her eyelid, the bridge of her nose, and nudged his forehead against hers, “Spent so much time waiting for you, that I’m not gonna let a silly thing break us apart. I’m willing to fight, y/n. I already have.” He fumbled behind her, unlocking the door and propping it open before he pressed a kiss to her lips. A deep press that conveyed everything he just said. I love you.

A shaky, relieved breath left her when they parted, her eyes still shut when he said, “Get in the car, my love,” with another, plushy kiss to her lips before he stepped back to see her get in the car. Her eyes opened slowly to see him smiling at her, no trace of anything strange in his eyes- like he had forgotten everything that happened in the past 10 minutes.

Y/n mumbled an ‘okay’ and got inside, putting on his seat belt as he closed the door and walked over to his side. She wondered if this was it, if this was her messing up and at the end of the day she would be crying into her pillow because he’d broken up with her. If e was just playing nice because that was just Jason, his MO.

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice that he had turned on the radio until he started singing along to it. An oldies station that he always had on if there wasn’t any music coming from his phone. It was in the middle of Prince’s Nothing Compares 2 U to which Jason didn’t hesitate to start singing.

“I went to the doctor’s and guess what he told me, guess what he told me,” he looked over at her while he was singing, a playful look in his eyes, and he shimmied his shoulders. It was a classic ‘sing to your girlfriend so she’ll never forget this song and always associate this song with you’ moment.

“He said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do,” his singing voice was a direct reflection on his character, smooth like honey, but deep and slightly scratchy like the comfort of burning wood, “but he’s a fool.”

Just then, his voice gets a little louder, “Cause nothing compares to you.” He placed a hand on her knee, his lips forming an exaggerated ‘o’ shape on the ‘you’. Jason was clearly singing to her, his eyes flickering from the road to her as a sweet gesture to direct his words to her.

Y/n sniffled and laughed, using her finger to trace the veins on the back of Jason’s hands, looking up at him while he sang to her. She had the sudden urge to reiterate what he had confessed in the parking lot. How it swelled in her chest, and consumed her.

But she couldn’t. It was hard and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he didn’t know the whole truth about her. Instead she wrote it on his hand. Her caresses going from random to spelling out letters on his knuckles. He noticed this. How the movements were calculated now, and the singing stopped. Green eyes went from the road to her eyes, to the road to their hands.

I love you, too.

She wiped her hand over his when she finished, and didn’t dare look up at him, so she looked out the window but left her hand in his hold. He brought it up to his lips, and kissed her knuckles, rubbing his lips over them repeatedly.

* * *

Jason stepped out of the car, and took long, quick strides over to her door, y/n admiring how long and muscular his legs looked in his jeans. He pulled the door open, leaning back so the door could swing past his torso, but staying relatively close to the car, giving her just enough space to get out. Y/n didn’t think anything of it, until she stood, and was face to face with his face, her nose swamped with the toned down scent of fresh, spring scented body wash merged with the soft smell of his skin.

Given how close she was, she could see the lines on his cupid's bow where his skin color changed from a golden tint to the strawberry of his lips.

“Can you kiss me properly now, baby?” He said, voice low and raspy. Hands came to flatten on the hood of his Prius, caging her in so she was close to his torso. A blush formed from the way he stared at her mouth like he was starved.

“P-properly?” She muttered, her hands taking purchase on his hips, and smoothing up his sides, the material cool under her hands.

“Yeah,” He licked the inside of his cheek, his head tilting, “Like this.”

Jason pushed forward until her back hit the car, and their hips were flush, y/n’s hands stuck between them, but she maneuvered them to she could palm at his chest, her nails digging in like cat’s claws when his lips found their way together, pillowed between each other in a passionate embrace that warmed her to her toes.

“Mmph, baby ‘ya marking me with your fingers,” He spoke in a sotto voice, heavy breaths and wet noises of their smacking lips resonating through their ears.

It took everything in her not to moan, and she knew that if they kept going it would be inevitable, so she unclenched her hands with a reluctant squeak, and ducked her head into his neck. Breath hot on his neck, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, no. I… uhm, I liked it, my love. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t be shy.” He flexed his jaw, his eyes rolling at the back of his head at recalling the feeling of her hands- dainty and small, and sweet,, and god* it was just her*- clawing at his chest. Jason dipped forward, and kissed her neck. His lips staining her skin with scorching heat, the soft skin creating a magnetic force between them.

She moaned at that, her teeth scratching at his neck tentatively. “Stop it,” Her head felt floaty, her limbs soft, “Wanna see the fishies and the way that you’re…” “The way that I’m what, dovie?” He’s stunned by her moan, his brain haywire. “Tell me.”

“The way you’re talking is gonna me make me wanna stay here, and I really wanna see the fishies. Please?” She’s whining; voice an embarrassingly high pitched tone. Her hands gripped the collar of his sweater for stability because her knees were shaking.

“Alright. Alright, let’s go see the fishies, baby.” Jason pecks her one last time at the juncture of her neck, and takes a step back to grab her hand. “Come on.”

* * *

“So, they’ve got McDonald’s, Tam’s Burgers, Ruby’s Diner, and Sushi.” Jason holds a tri-fold directory of the aquarium in one hand, and y/n’s hand in the other.

“Sushi? At an aquarium?” She skews half her face to the side like she tasted something sour.

“I know right?” He copies her face, “The irony. Up for burgers? It’s all they’ve got.”

Y/n’s stomach grumbled at the mention of food, and she giggled when Jason noticed and laughed at her. “Burgers sound good,” she said, rubbing her stomach comically. Although she was still heated by their earlier interaction, both were pretending like nothing happened, and like they didn’t have a big thing waiting for them at the end of the day.

Like she wasn’t going to reveal how sh-

“Anything for you, baby.” Jason Jason held up the tri-fold again and blew out of his lips as he made out the route to Tam’s burgers.

When they both got there, they ordered the same thing: one cheeseburger with a vanilla milkshake. Oh, and they were sharing chili cheese fries.

It was the epitome of a perfect date for a young couple in love. They chose to sit on the same side of the booth because they were greedy to get everything they could from each other. Unnecessary touches were made more than the amount of things they said to each other. Him brushing hair behind her each, hand on her thigh, rubbing her cheeks, feeding her, wiping her mouth, her arm hooked through his, pecking his cheek after a sip of her milkshake, nudging his feet with hers, caressing his thigh. It was on the rubbing his thigh part where things would get slightly heated, and Jason would stop to kiss her, licking into her mouth to taste the vanilla that was also on his tongue.

Jason paid for their meal, much to y/n’s begging, and then walked her over to the penguin exhibit.

“Heard one of their eggs just hatched, and I want you to see it.” He said, swinging their hands between them.

“Really?” She asked, her features lifted with excitement. “Well then let’s go!” Y/n ran ahead of him, looking back at him and pulling at his arm. Laughing, they swerved around people and ran past the large tank that represented the reef ecosystem, blue light from the sun that streamed through the top of the tank dancing on their skin like shadows. It was a magical moment, even though they looked like weirdos. In their head they were in their own movie, their own world.

“Jason, honey? Is that you?” A woman in green cargo shorts and the customary blue shirts with the aquarium’s logo on the left breast called from the inside of the penguin expedition. She had raven black hair in a low bun, and red lipstick paired with a bright smile. She was feeding the animals from two buckets on the edge of the pool where they were jumping in.

“Hey, Janet!” Jason called out, waving from behind the glass barrier. “Long time no see, have you gotten younger?”

She laughed and turned around, walking through an archway and disappearing from view. A male walked out, and smiled towards the couple, nodding once and turned his attention towards the penguins. He whistled once, and they all came to him, huddling around him expectantly.

Then he bent downwards and placed the back of his hand on the penguins tummy, pressing back and they waddled backwards. He did the same to four others, pressing them so they were in a straight line, and they stayed where he placed them. Janet came out then, with black objects in her arms.

“What are they….” Y/n asked, confused as to what was going on because she had been to this aquarium several times and had never seen such things. “... doing?”

Janet removed one of the items from her chest, and y/n could see that they were large letters. A ‘P’ which she placed at the feet of the first penguin. ‘R’ on the one following. They rested against their bellies, and after an initial peck at it, they left it alone and watched their keepers expectantly, presumably for food. ‘O’ followed, then ‘M’. And as the question mark was being laid on the last penguin, Jason turned to watch his girlfriend’s face, waiting for the realization to hit. It didn’t take very long.

“Oh my gosh, Jason, look! Look it spells prom!” She pointed at it excitedly, a smile from ear to ear as she looked on at the animals, amused by their antics. She looked over at him to share her glee, and found him watching her with a dreamy smirk. “Look at the animals! Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Will you go to prom with me?”

Y/n’s jaw dropped, the full realization hitting her. This had been planned, more specifically, Jason had planned this. “You did this?” She asked. Looking back and then at him again as he nodded slowly, still waiting for an answer. She stood there for a moment, stunned, and after a blink she jumped into his arms. “Yes! Yes! Yes, I want to go to prom with you!”

He didn’t waste any time in wrapping his hands around her waist and twirling her around, laughing. Kissing her cheek, he set her to her feet and she was watching him with bleary eyes, a pout on her lips. “You did this for me?”

“Technically, my mom did, but yes. Had her call in for me. Did you like it?” He put his hands in the pocket of his bomber jacket, his lips puckered as he tried to conceal a proud smile.

“I love it, so much, Jason I-” She’s left speechless, and she glances up at the animals again, where Janet and the other keep were throwing fish at them. “Thank you.” The tips of her fingers came to cover her mouth, tears of joy threatening to slip.

“Don’t cry, dovie. You weren’t supposed to cry,” he cooed, slipping his hands out again to wipe at the tears that fell down her cheeks.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Leaning up on her tip-toes, y/n abruptly yanked at his jacket, and crushed their lips together.

“There we go! Your mother would love this!” Janet whooped, and her cheers caused the couple to split from each other with red faces, laughs covering their embarrassment.

“Hush up, and let me kiss my girl will ya?” Jason pointed a finger at her and pretended to scowl. “We’re leaving to somewhere where we can smooch in peace!” Nearby people laughed at his jokes.

“Bye, sweetie! Tell your mother I said hello!” She waved goodbye, and returned her attention to the penguins at her feet.

Y/n waved a goodbye along with Jason, yelling a ‘thank you’ as she walked away. Her brain was still trying to process what had happened when they turned the corner and walked into the new exhibit of the darker layers of the ocean. A long, winding hallway where the only light was the glow coming from the bio-luminescence animals in the water.

An influx of serotonin swimming through her veins, squeals leaving her where she noticed where they were.

“The jellyfish!” She left Jason’s side to stand in front of the large glass. An abundant amount of jellyfish bobbed up and around each other at slow, hypnotizing speeds. Glowing, long tentacles swaying in their trail; networks of veiny light streams present in each of them. The blue hue reflecting off of her skin, and onto the pane where it showed her amazed reflection.

“They’re beautiful,” she mumbled. Jason caught up, and stood besides her, his figure also appearing on the glass pane that held the jellyfish. “I could watch them all day.”

His eyes drifted from the jellyfish to her side profile, admiring how ethereal she looked in that moment. Her face was soft with curiosity and wonder. “Me too.”

“You’re not even looking at them.” She gives him a side-eye glance.

“I know.” He turned so his feet pointed to her, and combed his hair back because a few curls were tickling his forehead. “Can’t believe I’m gonna have the prettiest girl as my prom date.”

Y/n’s nostrils flared and she sucked in her lips to suppress a smile. “Stop it.”

“S’true. Everyone’s gonna be so jealous of me.” He sucked in a breath, “Gonna have to hold on to you so no one steals you from me.”

She knows he means every word that leaves his lips. And that the words are meant to tickle her heart with their honesty. While they do so, they also break it. Y/n thinks she’s living a lie. Not her relationship with him, but the way she acts and portrays herself. So much of herself, she kept hidden. It hurt knowing that he was being so genuine, and she wasn’t. It hurt more than knowing he could break up with her if he knew the truth.

So, she decided to come clean. Even though they decided on the end of the day, her conscience wasn’t letting her live.

“Jason, I have something to tell you.” She said, her throat closing up on the second syllable of his name, and crying by the end of her sentence.

The boy brings his palm to her lower back, and moves his thumb up and down comfortingly. “Deep breaths, y/n. I’m listening.”

“That boy?” She tilts her chin so she’s looking at him, and he nods when they make eye contact. “From the cafe? I knew him from a party.” Deep breath. “We were playing truth or-” a sob leaves her, shoulders sagging as her composure breaks.

Jason raises his hand from her back to her shoulder, and steps closer so she’s pressed against his chest. “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. I’m not leaving you. Take your time.”

It would’ve been a lot more embarrassing if people were passing, but they were the only ones there. Had there been someone, they would’ve seen a terribly emotional y/n and a very concerned Jason.

A creeping feel of panic like the one from that night teased her toes, anxiety of her confession crawling up her spine. But she had to push through. She needed to get this off her chest.

“We were playing truth or dare, and… and I got dared t-to suck him off in front of everyone else,” another hiccup interrupts her words, and she had to stop to take a deep breath like Jason said, giving him an ashamed, fleeting glance. Not long enough to see that his eyes were wide with astonishment, eyebrows furrowed with bubbling rage.

“What?” He said, more on the rhetorical side to encourage her to keep talking. His mind kept jumping back to the guy at the cafe and the way he said ‘there wasn’t anything in your mouth, babe’ with a knowing look in his eyes. How he practically violated her with his eyes. Rage filled him; all he wanted to do was punch the guy in the face.

Anger made itself present in his stunned comment, and y/n took it as a disgusted comment. She jumped to explain herself, “I didn’t want to do it! I swear I didn’t put they started calling me names, a-and I didn’t want them to be upset with me so I-” another collapse of her words, chest rising and falling with desperate breaths. The panis increased, rising up to her chest and gripping like a boa.

Jason knew that she needed reassurance on that moment and said, “Sh, sh Dovie, deep breaths. It’s alright, I know you didn’t, my dove. That’s called peer pressure.”

It was clear that this was something she struggled with for a long time, and it hurt him so much inside that he had so blindly lived in the presence of her pain. Held her, touched her, and never noticed that she was so deeply in pain. The anger in him became a mix of bitter remorse at the fact that he had done nothing to push at her, or present himself in a way that showed she could trust him. He was unaware he was crying too until his own vision became blurry with moisture.

“I left right after he… after he…. Because the other boys started touching me, too. That was when you found me under that tree. Remember?” Shiny doe eyes glimmered with the light that came off the jellyfish at him. They seemed to beg him for forgiveness, for understanding that she was sorry.

“Yes, sweetheart I remember.” Soft fingers crawl up her cheek, caressing like silk at the tears that still fell. Kisses were littered in her temple with strong pressure, a display of his comfort. “Oh, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, baby. It’s not your fault.”

“I should have said no. I should’ve l-left or something…”

“No. No, y/n this wasn’t your fault. This wasn’t on you. You were under pressure, and they were bullying you as well… Oh my god, baby, this- You don’t want to tell authorities?”

“No! No, no, Jason I can’t l-let anyone find out I did…” Her eyes shut with distaste, “That. Please, don’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” He nods.

“Do you still want me?” Her cross, and her nails dig into her arms. Y/n bowed her head and sniffled. Jason took note of this, and pried her hands off so she wouldn’t bleed. His heart clenched at the tone of desperation in her voice. It hurt him to even think that he’d leave her so easily, and his words came out more emotionally tainted than he would’ve wanted.

“Y/n look at me.” His hand cupped her cheek, and the other held both of her wrists. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and squeezed him tightly. “I’m not leaving you. Can’t you understand that I love you, baby? I’m not leaving you, not now.”

“God, Jason. I don’t deserve you.” Y/n leans into his touch, sniffling.

“No, dovie. You’ve got that all twisted. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you. You’re so good to me, so kind, and sweet,and I’m so so sorry thing happened to you. But it’s gonna be okay, yeah? We can work through this, I’ll be there by our side. I won’t leave.” The boy followed after her eyes, wanting to maintain eye contact with her, but she was shifty with her gaze. He wanted to be able for her to see-- in his eyes-- that he meant every word.

“I love you.” Y/n jumped into his chest and wrapped her hands around his neck, happy to be free of guilt, and blissfully happy that she had Jason. That he loved her, and she was able to tell him that she loved him.

After a moment of just standing in each other’s arms, head’s buried in each other’s neck with Jason muttering into her ear just how much she meant to him, they stepped back to look at the other, and y/n laughed halfheartedly, wiping at her eyes and underneath her nose. Quiet ‘thank you’s were exchanged and they took one last good look at the jellyfish in silence. Y/n suggested they go home, and Jason said he wanted to stop by the gift shop first. Something about how how he needed a polar bear to hold onto at night.

In reality, he bought her the sea otter she wouldn’t stop petting, and a key chain with the date engraved on it. He didn’t give these to her until they were in front of her house, and he reached into the bag behind her seat.

“These are for you.” He said, placing the stuffy on her lap, and the key chain on her open palm. “A memoir. The first time we said I love you... among other things.”

His tone was serious, mouth set in a grim line, but y/n was smiling.

“I knew something was up when you told me to wait outside. Thank you.” Leaning over the console, they both met each other halfway, and kissed each other goodbye. At the first taste of her lips, he removed his hands from the steering wheel in favor of having them on her face, holding her too him a few seconds longer than she usually would have let herself stay kissing.

“You’re welcome, dovie. I love you.” He said, pecking her lips once more, and then her nose, making her laugh through her nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow, but I’ll call you tonight. Yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you, too.” She opened the door, and waved once more at her boyfriend who smiled at her from inside the car.

Y/n was slightly upset over he fact that he hadn’t gotten out to walk her up the steps, and in any other situation, he would’ve. But out of his eagerness, Jason waited until she was inside, and lifted his hips to get his phone out of his pocket, calling the one person he knew would have his back if he wanted to set things straight.

It rang three times before he picked up.

“Andrew. It’s an emergency. Come over to my house tonight. Don’t let anyone see you leave.”

#IM SUCH A SOFTIE FOR JASON IM SORRY #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff oneshot #fratboy harry styles

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shelli-gator · 4 years ago

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I was wondering if you had any general Ted headcannons. I'm not looking for anything specific, just more Ted stuff.

Sure! :D I have a few Ted headcanons! Let's get this bread!

- I hc that Ted's mom was a lovely and rather timid female, with a firmer military man husband. Ted's mom was naturally one of Julien and Maurice's care takers, so Ted sometimes got to see them and hang out with them when they were little.

-Despite his fathers disapproval, Ted's mom encouraged him in all his drama classes and theater performances. His father didn't see that as fitting for the son of a military man, but he was away from home too often to take much of a role in Ted's rather soft and gentle upbringing. He still craved his father's approval however, and after his father dies when he's still quite young Ted would later end up pursuing a military career himself, as if he might still be able to take some of that approval he never got by pursuing a career his father would have wanted for him. At the same time, he still acts, because that's really where his heart lies.

- He was always the most well liked boy in lemur school. Handsome and friendly, the ladies fawned over him, and most of the lads liked him well enough. He was the sort to eagerly help them with homework, and frequently brought treats to class.

-He always admired Julien, and often assisted him with homework and the like. It was by his insistence that everyone let Julien win at everything. Everyone likes Ted, so they listened to him. Whether it was out of admiration for Julien, or simply trying to amicable with the spoilt prince, I'm not sure. Probably a mix of both.

-In spite of Ted's efforts, his peers still voted him as prom king over Julien, regardless of what he told them to do. This was still painful for him however, because he knew he had to give it up to Julien no matter how much it hurt him.

-His main subjects were English, drama, art, and home ec (baking and the like). He also did biology and math, but he wasn't super great at those subjects.

- His best friend is Dorothy, and she took a lot of the same classes as him. Otherwise he would hang out with anyone really. He was on good terms with Willie, Horst and Pancho, and he often tried to hang out with and get closer to Julien and Maurice. He had a lot more success than Karl, though Julien would use his friendship to get his homework done, run errands for him, or otherwise dress him up/listen to his stories with little reciprocation on his part. Julien doesn't remember much of that up until the Prom episode, but after that he's sorry he took him for granted.

- Some of Ted's favorite colours are shades of cyan and magenta, two colors that look spectacular with sparkles. (Maybe that's why he liked the way Crimson looks? And why Horst painted him and Julien in cyan and magenta swimwear)

- Ted loves to wear women's clothing. He and Julien steal a bunch of goodies from one of the local resort gift shops, and Ted looks very fetching in a pink flower pattern sirong and white bikini/one piece swimsuit. He also loves sunhats, and they're great for keeping the summer sun at bay at their many beach parties.

- Ted is one of the kingdom's best dancers besides Julien, along with Willie. He knows many different types of dance styles, and he throws all of himself into his routines as a form of expression.

- He and Dorothy are big into crafts and the like. Dorothy makes their own soaps, conditioners and the like, and Ted l o v e s them. He helps her out with choosing ingredients, and they sell them/gift them to people. Thought most lemurs tend to prefer their own natural musk, Julien loves their conditioners to help keep his fur silky.

- With that said, Ted's prefered scent is Madagascar Vanilla.

-Ted's biggest fear is being unloved and alone. He's always been liked by everyone, but he longed for a male mate. But when Julien snubbed him before their prom, and took his crown for good measure, Ted was terrified of forever being alone.

-He then hooks up with Dorothy, his best friend, thinking this is how he'll have his perfect life and marriage, and it will make the pain and loneliness go away. It doesn't, and he keeps trying to fake it till he makes it.

-Ted is a romantic, and longs to have a secret admirer. He was enamored with the idea of Zora's secret lover, and very much wishes a man would write him letters or show his admiration/affection towards him. He loves the idea of being wooed, and would adore any attempts of such no matter how clumsy they may be.

-When pushed far enough, he's an excellent and often ruthless fighter, especially when he needs to protect his friends. Violence can sometimes leave him shaken though, especially if he gets seriously angry.

- After AHKJ, Ted starts working with Pancho as his Captain of the Ringtail Guard. They often play Good Cop/Bad Cop with perps, switching rolls on the fly to psyche out whoever is unfortunate enough to be interrogated by them. Though Pancho has a lot less tolerance for his fear tinkling than Clover did, and sometimes they can be at odds over some of Pancho's more wild/reckless schemes. Fortunately for him, Pancho is open to criticism and input, even as his superior.

-Ted has a rather broad range of music, and we already know he loves euro techno. Maybe he would like this genre of music, but I think about him the most to songs by Autoheart (they're an LGBTQ band too!). "Moscow', 'Anniversary' feel very Ted, and I use them for whatever ship he's in. They're bouncy and great for dancing, especially Anniversary.

"It's not hard, with you I have an alibi, you don't care the reason why I misapply. All I need is a fraction of your happy heart, all I need is you. And beauty's in the eye of the beholder, you have lips that permanently smolder! When in Moscow I just wanna fold you up and keep you warm."

"Now come here baby, come a little closer. You'll write words, and I can be composer. Let's get a dog, an Irish Red Setter, it's all we need to get better! It feels good to not be with a wannabe, I am free whenever you're in front of me. All I need is a fraction of your happy heart, all I need is you."

Edit: Just thought of another one! It seems like Ted is taller than most of the other lemurs when he's standing up straight. What if he makes himself shorter to be less intimidating to other leems, especially males as he wants to be the more submissive one of the two. And his smiling face and friendly demeanor makes him easily non-threatening.

That's a few of my headcanons for him. :D thanks for the Ted ask! I love this beautiful man!

#asks #ahkj #ahkj ted #I love this beautiful man #powerful prince #iconic #all hail king julien #headcanons

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slasherscream · 5 years ago

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Reader gets stood up at prom ghostface boys to the rescue

(A/N): oh prom was my nightmare so this was so self indulgent to think about thanks fam

They were getting around to asking you they fucking swear on god and they were ....enraged would be putting it lightly, when some random fucking loser asked you before they could.

Listen they were just trying to take it slow to go easy on you. Like slowly heating up the water around a frog instead of dropping them into boiling water to begin with.

You're out here thinking you've got #the two best friends in the world meanwhile they're trying to make a teenage spouse out of you but the best laid plans of dumb teenage boys often go awry.

Even though it's totally fine to do so (and the norm for you) you were feeling strange about asking if you could be a tag-a-long for them for prom night of all things.

Them including you on all their date nights and hang-outs are one thing but being a third wheel for the most romantic/cutesy night for teenagers is something you cannot fucking parse.

You had even started secretly thinking of staying home alone that night, which you know everyone in your life would've been strongly against but what're they gonna do? Throw you into a fancy tux/dress and force you to go?

But then a classmate asked you! Sure it wasn't particularly romantic and you didn't know each other well but they weren't the worst person in the world and they offered to buy your ticket for you and match with your color so at least you'll be going without feeling like an interloper.

You rush to tell the boys even though some part of you feels...bummed out you're not going with them but they're a couple and you're all best friends and you know you'll still spend time with them that night so it's fine! Everything's fine! Everything is perfect.

So yes they almost nutted the fuck up when you told them. The look on Stu's face....Billy had to hit him when you weren't looking so he could fix his face by the time you glanced over at him with that cute, excited look of expectancy.

"That's great, Y/N!" Stu would say, trying to make his smile look as normal as possible. "Who asked you?" Billy would say, grinding his teeth to fucking dust in his mouth and already planning on murdering them brutally.

It's only when they're alone and planning the murder do they realize they can't do that to you. You got asked to prom and how would you feel if your date happens to become a ghostface victim! They know you...you're so sweet and nice that even though you didn't particularly like the person you'd be staying home for the evening crying and sad. At the very least you'd take it as a "sign" and stay in for the night, if they were lucky.

Despite being the most possessive boys in the world they don't want you looking back at a night that could be special and magical with only the traumatic memory of a dead date. Romance really is real!

So they didn’t kill the lucky bastard who asked you even though they are so upset and bummed out. Stu mopes for the whole week leading up to the day and Billy is a special kind of grumpy asshole.

But they get to do little prom prep things with you that you probably wouldn't have let them do with you if you were their date for the night and it's cute and montage-y even though they're still really upset.

Helping you pick out a dress/tux/look and being your hype-men! You step out of the dressing room with something Stu picked for you (fashion icon) and he screams! Billy staring at you w/ eyes that are soft and he couldn't wipe the look off his face if he tried. Deciding your makeup/hair/look for the night with them and they lowkey do everything to match you/look good with you.

Fuck your date, man! They are your date in name only. When you look back at this night they're making 100% you'll only remember them. This is gonna be a funny story you tell your fucking kids together. They wanna throw up whenever you ruin the illusion by asking "Do you think (random ass name) will like this?" Shut up!! Stu will begin to cry he's sensitive.

You will not be walking out of any store having paid for your own shit that week. Stu insists! He's your 18 year old (unfortunately platonic) sugar daddy. Billy never let's Stu spoil him so you have to deal with Stu's love language, which is gifts, all by yourself you poor baby.

You're all gonna get ready at your house and you will experience soft moments such as Billy helping you with your hair with the utmost gentleness and making eye contact in the mirror. Or Stu wanting to put your lipstick on and doing a frankly fantastic job but the unbearable tension as he's touching your lip? My dude....

You try to shy out of some of the "leaving the house" pictures so the happy couple can get some alone but all your squirming just winds up with you trapped in-between them and both of them kissing your cheek at the same time.

Your date elected to not pick you up but meet at the location which made them so fucking angry but at least this way they get more time with you. Your dates on thin fucking ice though since the boys would've done everything to make the night romantic for you ...they are Big Mad.

You get there and you're looking around for your date and for the longest time can't find them and they're not answering your texts. You're getting nervous but the boys are mostly distracting you while sharing concerned looks over your head.

Their fears are confirmed when they catch your date making out with their ex and they can't steer you away from them fast enough so you don't notice. Your date has the decency to apologize and look sorry that they did this but you can't work yourself up to being really mad since you didn't really like them anyway. It's just the energy of this happening to you at prom.

They never knew you could run that fast honestly....

"Y/N? Baby? Are you in here?" The sound of the bathroom door opening immediately followed by the most gentle voice you'd ever heard Stu use in his life.

You have half a mind to be quiet so that they'll go away and forget their loser best friend and actually have a decent prom night together but you know they'd just waste their whole night looking for you if they couldn't find you. "Yeah ... I'm in here." You sigh, holding your head in your heads.

A knock on the door and then you hear Billy, "Please come out, sweetheart."

"I'd rather not."

"Y/N..." Stu trails off not knowing what to say and shooting Billy a panicked look. Before either of them can figure out what to do you speak up again.

"Please go out and enjoy yourselves. You don't have to spend your night coddling me. I'm not the first person to get ditched at prom. I'll survive. It's stupid anyways."

"It's okay to be upset, Y/N," Billy interjects, what he really wants to do is go kill your date and their dumb ex. Is there anything worse than an on-again-off-again couple? He's already imagining the fun he and Stu will have carving the two up but first they have to make their baby feel better.

"That was a total dick move of them!" Stu says, trying not to get worked up but failing. "I'll go kick their ass for you right now."

This at least makes you laugh, "No don't kick their ass. They don't deserve it."

"Like hell they don't." Billy grunts, "They upset you."

"They got back together with someone they actually liked. I can't hate them for that. We barely knew each other. I just didn't want to come alone and I didn't wanna be your puppy dog tag-a-long the whole night."

This gets immediate reactions.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Billy demands.

"Y/N I'm gonna crawl on the disgusting bathroom floor and come join you in there if you don't open the door right now." Stu says.

After a second of pause where you debate how serious he is (deadly) and then take into account his lack of impulse control you unlock the door and allow it to swing open, "Don't do that. We'd have to burn the tux and you look really good in it."

You're instantly swept up into two different sets of arm and have to admit you do feel a little better instantly. They have that effect on you. It's a comfort that they're staring at you with affection and concern and not pity. It makes you feel a little less pathetic. You still duck your head into Stu's chest and are allowed this and a moment of silence before Billy grabs you by the chin and makes you look up at them.

"You're not a fucking tag-a-long and that loser out there was lucky you said yes in the first place."

"Yeah baby! We woulda loved to have you all to ourselves tonight."

You laugh in a way that's heavy with self-deprecation, "You guys are sweet. That's why you deserve to have one night together that's just you. Especially prom night of all things. Don't you guys ever get tired of me always trailing after you? Don't you ever want a break?"

They make eye contact and convey some secret message between them that makes you roll your eyes but then Billy's hand moves from your chin to hold your cheek and you freeze up. Stu leans down into Billy and grins at you from over his boyfriend's shoulder as if you're the most adorable thing he's ever seen.

"You're not our third wheel, babe we're a pyramid!" Stu chirps.

"Wha-?"

"We were gonna ask you to prom." Billy's thumb begins to rub tender circles along your cheek and you open your mouth to say...anything but he keeps talking, "But jackass out there beat us to it."

"Really?" You ask quietly and Billy bumps his forehead gently against yours, smiling at your shocked expression.

"Really."

"We're crazy about you, babe!"

"You sure you're not just trying to make me feel better? I promise I'm not gonna fall apart on you or anything." It doesn't come out like a joke as you'd intended and you'd wince at how hopeful and nervous you'd sounded but Billy's lips cover yours. You'd always wondered how it felt to kiss either of them, always having to force your eyes away from them when they often kissed each other. It's a lot like how you imagined, his lips firm and warm against yours and him with total control over the moment in a way that makes your knees weak.

When he finally pulls away you can't bring your eyes to open even when they both chuckle at you. It's Stu leaning forward to playfully nip at your bottom lip that brings you out of the daze and you lean forward to peck him before he can move away. He hums against your lips and you smile into the kiss, playful and sweet.

"Believe us now?" Stu asks when he pulls away, giving your hair a light tug.

"I might....if you guys dance with me. I think I hear my favorite song."

"Well then-" Billy smirks, pulling away from you but grabbing your hand and Stu's, leading you out the bathroom and back towards the dance, "We gotta go take our girl/boy to dance, Stu."

#billy loomis x reader x stu macher #poly ghostface #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #slasher x reader #theannonomusgamblerpt2 #this was so fun and cute to write i fucking perished

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kpopmalereader · 5 years ago

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prom ; lee chan

• summary: dino asks you to go to prom with him after your relationship builds • pairing: lee chan x male!reader • word count: 2049 • to do

You and Chan were never really friends. You weren’t enemies by any means, but you weren’t friends. You knew of each other. And that was about it.

When you finally truly met and got to know each other it was during your last year of high school. Both of you still needed volunteer hours and wouldn’t you know it, you signed up for the same service. You actually passed each other on the way to sign up.

Being surrounded by dozens of different types of animals while also getting service hours seemed like a pretty good deal to you.

Plus, the cute boy that walked in with his sweatshirt only on one arm was an added bonus.

You had your first conversation together when you were assigned to the front desk, signing in the animals and their parents. Anytime someone was not standing directly in front of you Chan’s mind would wander. He could get distracted by Computer the Cat and feed her treats in a steady stream until she left him. Or he would start to spin around in his chair until he was sick and dizzy.

And he became very close to you. Unbeknownst to you, he would ask to share the same tasks as you (no matter how meaningless or nasty) and he didn’t take much convincing from you to do anything you didn’t want to. You never noticed his want to spend more time around you or his willingness to do jobs every volunteer complained about if you mentioned not wanting to do them. You thought you noticed how often you were paired together but never thought it was because of Chan, instead thinking you were looking too far into things or that the person in charge thought you two were good friends.

You were becoming friends. In the process of starting a friendship.

At the beginning, it wasn’t obvious. You would nod at each other in the hallway. And he smiled at you once in the cafeteria while you were with his friends. You felt like you were on cloud nine the rest of the day, though you couldn’t pin down why you felt the way. After a little while of working together and getting to know each other while playing with and bathing dogs you started to say a few words in passing then he would end up by your locker before class and then if either of you were ever alone, you would keep each other company.

You met his friends. He met yours. They had questions but you both said you were only gaining a friend.

By the end of the first semester, your friend groups had mixed. Everyone knew of each other and acted friendly when able. You and Chan began hanging out after school and before going to the office. You learned his favorite color and his favorite animal, his favorite food, his life story, everything he told you, you absorbed.

By Valentine's day Chan was falling. He couldn’t help it. You seemed to care about everything. Every detail anyone else would pass up or forget, you remembered. The candy Chan mentioned one time? You bought it for him a month later. The song he hummed to himself while he was doing inventory? You told him you liked the artist a few days after.

It was really your fault. How could you show interest in him in these small ways no one else really had before and not expect him to fall?

The moment he really “fell” he’ll remember forever. Someone brought in an Orange Dream Ball Python. They said it wasn’t too old but they couldn’t take care of it and didn’t know what to do. You paged for one of the vets and asked the person to wait a minute but as you got the words out they dropped a writhing bag onto the counter and half-ran out of the office. With no hesitation you grabbed the bag and peeked inside, seeing that it did, in fact, look like some type of python. You brought it to the back and Chan followed. The vet was busy and couldn’t walk out but seeing the animal fight against itself in the cloth bag made your face morph into the saddest frown he’s ever seen from you. You stuck the bag in one of your hoodie’s pockets and went on a mission for some kind of cage for it. You found a small cage and took the lid off.

“What are you doing?” Chan’s jaw had long been on the floor.

You looked at him like he was the crazy one.

To you, the answer and solution was obvious, but to everyone else in the situation (only Chan), nothing was going to happen until an actual adult walked into the room.

He still looked very confused and a tiny bit frightened, so you spelled it out. “I’m going to let him out. I don’t know how long he’s been in there or if he’s hurt, where they got him from, I’m going to release him into the cage and let him slither around.”

You placed the cloth bag into the cage. Chan took three half-steps backward. The bag fell open and you slowly tug at the other end of it until the snake falls onto the plastic cage.

The snake isn’t too big. It’s sort of small. But it’s still a snake.

It balls up in the middle of the cage and hides in itself. Chan hears a small noise of adoration come from you and you sit in a chair, watching the creature closely.

“Hey, little guy. What happened to you?”

The vet gave clearance on the snake. Said it was what the owner said it was and that it didn’t appear to be injured. They had an enclosure for it and one of the techs was sent to get some extra supplies.

You became attached to him immediately. You set the little cage he was in by your station at the counter, checking in with him any time you could. Chan watched as you became more and more okay with the reptile until you had him quite literally wrapped around your finger. The “little dude” slithered over your hands and your keyboard, your smile growing bigger and bigger when he did anything at all.

And as Chan watched you interacting with the snake he felt enamored. You would look up at Chan and point excitedly and he was lightheaded. He wanted to spill everything about himself. He wanted to tell you every secret he’s ever had. And he might have if the head vet mentioned some patrons might be afraid of the snake. You frowned and hid him behind the desk, smile turning sneaky.

He didn’t say anything. Just felt every emotion possible.

You wanted to keep the little snake so bad. Came to school the next day with a pout, recounting to Chan exactly what your parents said about it.

You said Chan saved the day when he said you would know the whereabouts of the snake at the vet’s office.

Every day that passed once Chan’s feelings truly set in they only grew. Most of his friends were quickly let in on the secret and a few of your friends found out soon after.

His feelings came to a head before prom. Chan’s mind began to race when he watched everyone’s prom-posals begin. The more they happened the more Chan began to wonder if you were going to get asked. Or ask someone else. And the thought was unsettling to him. He didn’t want anyone else to think of going with you or for you to think of going with anyone besides himself.

Your best-friend was finally made aware of his feelings when Chan caved while planning the “perfect confession” and asked for advice. They would say they didn’t hold it over his head. Chan would disagree.

Chan took it as a compliment when they didn’t seem completely disgusted at the idea.

When he started planning, he also started preparing for the embarrassment he would endure if you were to say no. Embarrassment he did not plan for was the embarrassment in asking the head veterinarian for help and permission.

He hoped you wouldn’t notice the change in who you were working with throughout the day.

You did.

“Hey!” You stop halfway to turning the light in the stockroom off. Computer the Cat darts out between your legs and you hear the yelp of one of the nurses in his path. “Didn’t see you there.”

His attempt at not being suspicious is anything but good. “Hello.”

“You weren’t at the front desk with me today,” You scrunch your face and lean against the door. “You know how awkward the silences are when you’re not close to the person you’re working with? I’ll answer it for you. Very. It was awful and as far as I’m concerned it’s all your fault.”

He scratches the back of his neck and pushes the stack of paper towels to the left. “Sorry. I asked if I could do more work alone today. I guess I should have warned you.”

You shrug your shoulders and let the door close. You sit on the stool he was using earlier. “It’s not like a real problem or anything. I just missed you. Is everything okay?”

Your genuine concern and thoughtful expression eat away at him until his straight expression breaks into a light chuckle and smile. “Yeah. I just had some stuff on my mind today. It’s okay, promise.”

You nod and jump up, going out of your way to bump your shoulder into his on your way to the door. “Well, if you get tired of doing inventory or being alone, come see me. I’ll ignore more of my work to talk to you.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you later.”

Chan breathes out and bangs his head against the metal shelves as the door closes behind you. He shuts his eyes tightly, rethinking every step of his plan.

With an hour and a half left of the day with no attempt at the plan happening every time the head vet passes Chan, constant watch-tapping occurs.

Chan sees you cleaning out one of the cages and sets his plan into motion. He pours a few cat treats into a bowl and corrals Computer the Cat into an empty exam room. She tolerates Chan enough for him to set up his sign. He adds more food to her bowl to keep her in place and walks out of the room.

He catches you as you’re washing your hands, the smaller dog cages fully cleaned and redecorated. “Hey,”

“Hello.” You flick some of the water on your hands at him and smile.

“Have you seen Computer?”

“I saw her earlier, why?”

“She was acting kind of strange earlier; I didn’t know if you noticed anything different.”

You pout slightly and shake your head. “No, where is she? What was she doing?”

Chan leans back into the door. “She keeps sneaking off into Room Three.”

“Poor thing, I wonder if she’s okay.” You walk into the hallway, leaving him to pick his heart off of his shoe.

You moving towards his surprise forces him to recover. He follows behind you, breathing in raspy breaths.

You walk into the room, looking up to first see Computer eating then seeing the sign. “Prom?” is written in big letters and you turn around quickly.

Chan smiles at you with one of his eyebrows raised. A white rose is in his hand and he holds it out to you. “I don’t know if I can handle asking but I will if you want me to.”

“You don’t have to ask again.” Your ears go pink and your smile grows as you take the flower from him. “Thank you and… yes. Yes. I will go to prom with you.”

He laughs and nods his head. “Great, good. Yeah. Okay.”

“I didn’t think you were going to ask me. I was hoping but didn’t think you would.”

“You were hoping?”

“Obviously.” You smell the flower and shake your head.

He scratches the back of his neck and rocks up on his toes. “Thank you. Prom.”

“Prom.” You repeat.

#seventeen #kpop #kpop scenario #seventeen x reader #male reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #dino #lee chan #kpop male reader #kpop x reader #kpop x male reader #seventeen male reader #dino x reader #dino x male reader #dino x male!reader #lee chan x male reader #lee chan x male!reader

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the-unconquered-queen · 4 years ago

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Do you have anymore head cannons about Andy or any head cannons about your Mcs (I just really miss it lives😔)?

Damn, I feel you. Lemme try to remember some hcs I have 🤔

@liliplayschoices see if you can spot the ones I’ve discussed with you already

(This is a bunch of random hcs I have for my playthrough, so I’m referring to my MCs specifically, but anyone’s free to adapt them to fit their own MCs if they’d like. And since they’re hcs for my playthrough, they’re mostly Andy x MC with some Tom x ILB MC sprinkled in, very few of just Andy because I don’t trust myself not to make them too ooc. Oh, and this isn’t a creative writing hcs list, so prepare for 0 organization.) So let’s get into some:

For Andy x MC, I headcanon my MC as having started crushing on Andy during the second semester of junior year, so earlier in the year that the events of ILitW start. The reason why is because I get the impression of Andy’s crush on her having been going on longer than her crush on him, but I still don’t see her crush as being something that just started up when they reunited, so junior year seems around a good time to place it imo.

MC and Tom become really good friends. When Andy and MC solidified their relationship, Tom and MC had each planned to make an effort to get along for Andy’s sake because they knew how important the other was to Andy, but it turned out they didn’t really need to try because they genuinely got along super well, so a win in that department. They become their own little group within the larger group that is the ILitW gang + Tom, and eventually when ILB MC comes along (and she’s dating Tom in my playthrough), she joins them and they hang out all the time.

Since I’m bringing Tom x ILB MC into this, I strongly believe Tom and Andy are each best man at the other’s wedding, and the same probably goes for the ladies as maid of honor, at least the way I see it in my playthrough.

Tom and ILB MC are the godparents to Andy and MC’s kids, and vice versa.

Andy would say he’s a dog person, but spending so much time around MC’s cat is low-key making him rethink that.

I don’t see my MC as being into sports, but the moment Andy made the team you know that girl didn’t miss a single game because she is there to cheer for her man, which she does so enthusiastically it prompts Stacy to joke that she missed her calling on the cheer squad

Andy will never act like he’s too cool to be openly affectionate with MC. They probably engage in non-extreme pda and he’ll show MC off as his girlfriend whenever the opportunity arises. The gang playfully roasts them for it, but Ava will throw whatever’s nearby at them if she sees them kissing.

Speaking of Ava, I see her and Andy having a really fun friendship that involves a lot of teasing each other (not seriously, of course, all in good fun).

Andy’s a really thoughtful friend, and not just with Tom. After everything with Jane went down, he made sure to talk to Dan to see how he was doing, something Andy had intended to do ever since Stacy told everyone how Dan had been struggling.

Out of all the members of the gang, I’d say he’s the one who’s the most pissed off over Noah’s betrayal (I have a whole ranking of anger levels for the whole crew but that’s beside the point). The reason I think this is because he really came off the worst out of all of the rest of them. A fucked up leg, surgeries that could not have been easy on him or his parents, and having to graduate a whole year later are just some effects the whole situation had on him, so he’s definitely not gonna be understanding about it, and who could blame him?

Related to the previous point, he does NOT take it well when he finds out that MC’s been visiting Noah. Andy’s not dumb, he probably figured out Noah was stuck like Jane was, but he didn’t expect his girlfriend to try to help him. When MC finally tells him about it, it leads to a huge fight that puts their relationship in peril. Ultimately, Andy loves her too much to break up with her and he understands he can’t force her to stop going into the woods, but he does throw in comments trying to dissuade her and not really making his disapproval a secret.

When he’s first hospitalized for his leg injury, on top of being in a shitty mood, he worries about what it would mean for his budding relationship with MC and if she would still want to be with him when he was pretty much confined to a hospital bed (and later on, his own), but MC stays by his side, always doing her best to cheer him up. She tries to be there for him as soon as he‘s allowed visitors after his surgeries, and if they happen while she‘s in class, she either skips to be with him or at least ducks out into the school hallway to call and make sure everything went okay. And if he wants her there for some of his physical therapy sessions, she makes sure she’ll be able to make it.

Andy and MC disagree over what their first date was. Andy says he asked MC out to the diner after his basketball victory and bought her dessert, but she insists that didn’t count as a proper date because he never actually told her it was a date, plus the entire team was there too, so their first proper date was actually on homecoming night according to her.

Once MC graduates high school and goes off to college, she and Andy do their best to adjust to their new relationship dynamic at a distance. It’s not easy, but they stay strong. They try to meet up as often as they can, and MC absolutely makes sure to get all her college affairs in order early at the end of the year to be able to go back to see Andy because he asked her if she’d be his prom date and no way is she gonna let him down. Andy’s dancing hasn’t improved a whole lot since the previous homecoming, but at least now he can use his bad leg as an excuse.

Anyway, it’s so tragic that Andy content is so scarce we’re resorting to my random ramblings, but no one said being an It Lives stan in the year 2020 is easy, so PB please I’m begging you, give us something

#ask #answered

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iheartsunset · 4 years ago

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Papa Louie Prudence HCs

(Nobody asked for these, but I gotta show love to my 8 year long favorite character)

Edit 9/23/20: Sorry I didn’t realize Pickles was a girl, last time I’ll ever listen to the forum lmao anyways I’m about to fail a test tomorrow even though I’ve studied nonstop, but that’s probably just how science goes

-Prudence Carmichael-Wagner is 22 years old and lives in a fabulously rose colored loft in Tastyville. She doesn’t plan to leave her job at the Pancakeria any time soon, but she is studying hard to become a veterinarian. She is the half sister of the famous Rudy Diamond; the daughter of Arugula Bank’s owner, Anselm Wagner; and his ex-wife, Lola Carmichael, the headmaster of Eclair Academy. Prudence has a strained relationship with her emotionally manipulative parents who care more about her achievements than her wellbeing and tried to avoid them whenever she can. Prudence’s mother loves dropping by her loft unannounced, which makes Prudence upset and anxious.

-Prudence can mostly be described as a kindhearted socialite with a strange obsession with the color pink. She is very hospitable and doting on everyone around her, making her seem like more of a mother/older sister figure. She also carries assorted sweets and mints in her purse for both emergency consumption and to cheer up anyone who’s sad. Prudence does also have a habit of panicking at first under pressure, but has learned to adapt very quickly. Prudence also loves to volunteer and help those less fortunate than her. But call her a dumb blonde and we’ll see how many teeth you have left afterwards (as a result of either her purse or Rudy’s fist).

-Her and Rudy were born on the same day only a few hours apart. Many people joked that the two were twins due to their shared birthday, blonde hair, blue eyes, and close relationship. However, she didn’t know that her father and Rudy’s mother, Carla, (his chief financial officer) had an affair that led to Rudy being born. After this was found out by Lola, Carla’s reputation was ruined and she relocated with Rudy to Powder Point, much to Prudence’s dismay. After reuniting years later when the Cheeseria opened, the two found out about the affair and realized they were siblings. They share a close bond now, but still have terrible relationships with their parents.

-As previously stated in Cooper’s headcanons, she is in a polyamorous relationship with him and Taylor. She met Taylor at their shared night school and met Cooper at their shared workplace. While her feelings for either of them weren’t very strong, Taylor’s heartfelt confession made her fall for both of them hard, thus starting the third most wholesome relationships in Flipline’s history (Penny and Alberto have the top spot filled and second place is definitely Olga and Edoardo). She loves to buy them roses or chocolates and see how flustered they both get when they’re delivered. Prudence’s parents definitely don’t approve of this relationship, but she actually doesn’t care this time.

-She and Trishna’s parents were very close in business growing up, so they both quickly became best friends, along with Rudy. She is three years younger than them and is still stuck attending high school. While Trishna isn’t too close to Rudy anymore, she and Prudence still hang out and text all the time. If Trishna is somewhere, then Prudence is probably nearby or at least on the phone with her. Trishna also offers Prudence discounts at Fashion Flambé, but Prudence always declines saying that it feels weird to not pay the full price if she didn’t have any coupons.

-Prudence was given Pickles as a gift from her father. However, he said that she could only keep the dog if she would have good grades and continued with being a debutante, meaning most of her effort was for Pickles’ sake. When she earned a C on a test, Pickles was almost taken to the pound, but she quickly entered them in a dog show to make up for her “mistakes”. The dog show started out as sort of survival, but Prudence continued doing it since she and Pickles actually enjoyed it.

-She and Trishna both attended Croquembouche Preparatory Academy along with Alberto, Penny, Joy, Roy, and Mindy. Prudence was notably crowned prom queen her junior year, all around tennis and cheer star, student body president her senior year, and salutatorian. She also joined multiple clubs. Unbeknownst to her classmates, having to keep up with these high expectations from her family and teachers almost broke her from the stress. However, a pep talk from Vicky allowed Prudence to drop many clubs and sports and take it easier in school, much to her parents’ dismay.

-Allan has thought that Prudence would play a very good Sandy, but Prudence can’t really sing well. She would, however, make for a good Elle Woods (as in the movie version) or any kickass Barbie protagonist (which is all of them, I stan Barbie). Prudence can dance amazingly, but she just doesn’t fit Cha Cha’s sassiness and overall nastiness. She’s a great cheerleader, so she’s a good fit for Patty Simcox, but then again Patty also sucks, so looks like Prudence is just a background dancer.

-She thinks of Johnny as her father, Hank as he other father, and Vicky as her mother. She also considers Trishna, Scarlett, Utah, Clover, Nevada, and Mindy her sisters. Chuck, Marty, and Greg are her brother figures. Rudy is also thought of as her brother, but he’s also her actual brother, so it’s actually very accurate.

-If you smell pickles on the bus, it’s because Prudence opened her big ass jar of them and started eating it. I personally hate pickles, especially when people eat them on some sort of vehicle. Sure you can eat pickles ain’t nothing wrong with that, but I’m not tryna smell pickles when I’m trying to get to school.

-Prudence is a master at fashion and makeup. However, she mostly wears simple cropped shirts and jeans everywhere for comfort. Her only standout accessories are her purse (since she carried Pickles in it) and her bow (she had to find some way to be twinsies with pickles, and she wasn’t wearing no dang collar).

-She and Maggie are both queens and often converse about how to maximize their joint slay. They also love finding examples to disprove the dumb blonde stereotype.

-She likes to get the good dog food for Pickles, but she sometimes gives her some pickles or vanilla ice cream. Cooper and Taylor spoil her with other types of human food when she’s away, though. Not chocolate or any of that kinda stuff though.

-Prudence likes to sit in the stands and drunkenly cheer really loudly for Cooper and Taylor, which actually encourages them even more. Dang they’re just all so cute together like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-She basically lives at the mall and salon, earning her closer relationships with their workers. She and Kaleb like to drink tangerine pop together and she always gossips with either Mindy or Vicky. Sometimes she takes Cooper and Taylor to get their nails done together. Taylor prefers his nails in ultramarine with white flowers while Cooper likes a classic French manicure better.

-Rudy can’t dress for shit and neither can Johnny, so she tries to help them both out together outfits better. They’re very close to her, but none of them take her advice and she is very sad. She hates flannel, but whatever makes him happy, she guesses.

-My favorite girl and has been for most of my life. I love her so much.

#flipline studios #papa louie #flipline #my hcs #prudence #prudence’s parents suck #prudence and rudy are siblings #i love i love i love her #prudence is barbie now #distinguished bi prudence

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

#survey #surveys

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blooming-inthedark · 5 years ago

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the younger one.

Derek

I was in the drama department in high school, and being in drama was everything to me. It was the most fun I had in all my schooling. One of the main reasons I enjoyed this time was because of my drama peers. They were my closest friends and we did basically everything together, in and out of school. There was one class for each grade (9-12), but we would all have to come together during the schoolyear, so all four years were like a big family. We looked up to the older students and would feel abandoned once they graduated, but we would also fawn over how adorable or annoying each freshman class got each year that we inched closer to becoming seniors. Though we loved them, we of course carried this false sense of superiority over them since we were older. Like, play parents. So, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me when senior year started that I would be in a relationship with one of those ‘kids’ by the time graduation rolled around.

His name was Derek. He was in the sophomore class, and he was also the younger brother of Shawna, a drama student who graduated the year before we did. Derek was cutie, man. And for a 15 year old, he had a really deep voice. I was attracted to him, yes. Our early *platonic* text conversations consisted of random things, and him telling me how fine he thought all the senior girls were in drama, and how much he wanted to kiss them, or whatever else. I would just kind of laugh about it and agree, but then one day he started talking about the things he wanted to do to me. And his young ass had me intrigued. So we started flirting and whatnot.

We kept it secret, because of the age gap. Only 2 years – but in high school that somehow seemed like a lot. The only person who knew we liked each other was my friend Teresa, because she talked to both me and Derek on a daily basis. Derek and I didn’t see each other much during the day because we didn’t want to seem obvious (lol) but we would hang out after school a lot because he was best friends with Larry. Larry was also in the sophomore class and he was my baby – again, that whole play parent thing. He had lupus, and he was so sweet. I was one of the few people with a car in our class, and I remember doing a lot of aimless riding around after school, sometimes to take friends home, sometimes to go eat or to another friend’s house. Derek and Larry might ride with me, along with Teresa, or one of my other friends, Sasha. I remember one night, Sasha, Derek, Larry and I were in my car and we played truth or dare. Derek and I were dared to kiss, so we did. That night, him and I were texting about all the dares and how we felt about them. He told me “Just so you know, I didn’t feel anything when we kissed.” I told him I didn’t either.

I’d say about 2 or 3 nights later, he texted me and said “Remember when I said I didn’t feel anything when we kissed? I was lying.” Eventually we decided to make it official. It was the start of my last semester, and I felt like I had earned Derek, because he was telling me about cutting ties with the 2 other girls that liked him, and how disappointed they were. I remember jokingly saying, “Oh well, I didn’t mean to upset anybody, maybe we should break up.” We were in the parking lot and he was putting something in my trunk. When I said that he stopped and had this horrified look on his face “No!” he said with panic and slight confusion. I told him it was a joke, regretting my words immediately. I worried that he would look at me as crazy for saying something like that, but he didn’t.

And we were the cutest couple, according to everyone in drama. Derek was the first boyfriend, at this point, that I wasn’t ashamed of. I liked holding his hand in public. I would sit on his lap in front of everyone we knew. I was so into him, and felt no reservations about PDA like I usually would. Even though Derek was younger than me, I felt like I had a good catch. He was cute, and many other girls thought so too. All my friends joked and called me a cradle robber, but I didn’t care. I was sprung off this boy. We got caught making out and feeling each other up in the black box theater by the new drama teacher one day after school because we just could not stay off each other. Derek was even my date to the senior prom.

Sometimes though, it felt like the adults around us didn’t like that we were together. Maybe because he was essentially a kid? I always got the vibe that his mother and sisters didn’t like me, because they were never very friendly towards me. And my mom just didn’t expect us to last very long, I guess. I remember having Derek over to our house once. We were watching TV in the den and my mom was back in her room. It was storming, and that moment I was secretly hoping for had finally happened - the power went out. So, there we were, in the dark, and it was a flash of privacy that we hadn’t been able to have anywhere else. It was finally time for Derek to do something he had always told me he wanted to do - give me head. But no sooner than he started, my mom yelled my name. “You taste like air,” he texted me later. It was all good, even up until graduation. But I was going off to college that fall and I had a feeling we wouldn’t last until then.

Somewhere in the first part of the summer, things changed. When we hung out, Derek would always be really focused on his phone. I found myself repeating questions and giving up on conversations because he was paying more attention to his text thread than me. One night, I went to his house and the whole time he sat on the couch texting someone. It was me, him, his older sister, and another girl from drama. We were all talking, interacting with each other, but Derek wasn’t all over me like usual. I sat on one couch, he sat on the other. I had to go and sit next to him for us to be close, and even then he didn’t acknowledge me. There was a really odd vibe that night. It was obvious Derek was acting different, and it felt like everyone in the room knew why except me. Periodically he would chuckle, but showed no excitement or enthusiasm when interacting with me. I finally got a glance in over his shoulder and realized he was texting one of the girls in his drama class. That was all I needed to see.

He didn’t like me anymore. His actions had shown this for a couple of weeks, and seeing him text the other girl was when it really hit. He had found something new and shiny, and I was the older, old news. Because I could sense it, I brought it up over the phone to him one night. I told him he seemed different and uninterested - like he was interested in someone new. After some time he finally said that yes, it was someone else. I didn’t bother asking who, because I knew. A couple months later, they were together.

My feelings were hurt. Of course. Derek was the first boyfriend that all of my friends knew about and saw me with often. He was the first cute guy that actually liked me and dated me. There was a mutual interest and attraction, unlike the other guys I talked to that I ended up getting tired of a few months later. After we broke up, Derek told me he wanted to still remain friends. We would text every now and then and it was cool. Present day we’re definitely cordial, but we don’t really talk. I’m not really sure what exactly he’s doing now, but if I really wanted to know, he’s only a Snapchat or IG DM away from me asking. No ill feelings on my end. Just one of those things you go through as a teen.

The reason I remember Derek is because though I felt special to him in the beginning, I always felt like I was possibly competing with other girls for his attention. I noticed how many female friends he had, and it made me nervous. I remember for Valentine’s Day, Derek got me a small stuffed dog and wrote me a letter, but got his ‘best friend’ Alicia a huge ass teddy bear and some chocolate. My whole body might as well have turned green, I was so jealous. I knew most of his female friends liked him, and I felt that at any given moment he would see that they could probably offer him something better than I could. I didn’t feel like I was attractive, I didn’t have curves, and I wasn’t having sex. Another girl could easily come and win him over; I was no competition. And eventually my fear came true. Now that I’m writing this out, I realize that I still carry this irrational fear with me as an adult. Whenever I’m talking to a guy, I wonder how long it will be before he loses interest, if he’ll think I’m boring, is he comparing me or my body to other women he’s dated, or if the fact that I’m a virgin will run him off. It’s ridiculous - many days, I wonder why I’m single because I’m honestly the best thing smokin. Other days I look back over my life and conclude that men who are truly interested in me only come along every few years, so it must be that I’m not the best. My confidence is a beautiful, soft bright rose with small thorns and dirt smudges. I know that I’m the only one responsible for picking it up to carefully pluck those thorns and dust it off, but sometimes I still hope that a nice man walks by and knows how to delicately do it for me. But I’m working on that.

Peace to you for reading.

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theadorablespderman · 5 years ago

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Hair: Chapter 6

Stars Pt. 3

Peter/Michelle

Rated M for language

Wow, this has been crazy guys! I would not have continued this story without your love and support. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who pushed me to continue a story I lost track of. I really can’t express how grateful I am to everyone who has read Hair....So without further ado, I’d like to thank my amazing beta @you-guys--are-losers who has been with me from the start and is always my amazing friend.

Now I want to present, after a long hiatus, the next chapter of Hair!

________________________________________________________________

Michelle flipped over another page of her book. The slight whispering of the page was the only sound in her room besides a small electric fan beside her. She’d managed to get halfway through Things Fall Apart in a few short hours. The intricacies of African culture pulled her into the pages early on. Sitting on crumpled white sheets atop her bed, head resting against the coarse brick exterior wall in her room, Michelle flipped over another page. With eyes flying across the pages, she thought about how much of African culture has been destroyed. The title indeed fit the book; things do fall apart, often, it would seem.

Dog-earing her page, Michelle took a sip of her long-forgotten tea. It was cold and bitter on her lips. Abandoned when she sunk into her book. Michelle made a note to make a new cup. When she picked the book up again, her eyes started tracing back over the pages until her phone vibrated against her leg. Placing her book down again, she used her good hand to pick up her phone. The message was from Peter.

Peter Parker (8:57 pm): can i come over?

Embers ran down her throat, stoking the small fire in her chest. The fire pulsed, each beat larger than the next. It echoed in the battered knuckles of her fist.

Michelle left Peter standing in the abandoned physics classroom this morning. Unable to release any words or explanations, she merely retreated to safety. Safety she found with a book in her hands, tucked away in her bedroom, and wishing she could disguise herself in a flash of sarcastic remarks and cool stares.

Michelle pored over the text a few times, her mind spinning. She didn’t know how to reply. If he just wanted to assault her with more questions, she’d rather sink further into her book.

You (9:01 pm): if you’re looking for your hobbit box set i didn’t take it because the movies sucked and the book was better.

Peter Parker (9:02 pm): what? no…i haven’t even mentioned that to you how the hell do you know about it

You (9:02 pm): I’m omniscient, Parker, I know all.

Peter Parker (9:03 pm): then youd know why i’m coming over. which would suck since it’s a surprise…

She stared down at her phone. Michelle wasn’t sure what Peter’s angle was. After a few minutes without her reply, another message popped up.

Peter Parker (9:06 pm): soooo…can I come over? promise not to annoy you

Grunting, Michelle tucked her legs closer to her body. Her interest had piqued. Besides, she thought, maybe it would be a good opportunity to shrink the gap expanding between them. Glancing out her window at the inky sky, Michelle decided on a reply that was neither an invitation nor denial.

You (9:08 pm): You annoy me regardless.

Peter Parker (9:08 pm): i’ll take that as a yes?

You (9:09 pm): Shut up and just come over, loser.

Peter Parker (9:10 pm): thank you! youre not gonna regret it!

Peter Parker (9:10 pm): be right there :)

Michelle glared down at her screen blaring harsh blue light back at her. She had no idea what Peter was planning, and she was frankly starting to wonder if she wanted to.

It would take him a few minutes to get to her house if May drove him, but he could easily walk, which could take as long as fifteen minutes. Michelle flopped back onto her bed, resisting the urge to go fix her hair, or change out of her pajamas. Peter had seen her at her literal worst, and if he hadn’t been chased away by now, a few snarls in her hair and some tattered pajamas wouldn’t make a difference. Besides, she wouldn’t try to make herself look nice for Ned, so why should she do it for Peter?

The thought of prom popped into her head. She clucked at the thought, telling herself that was different. If she wanted to get made up for prom she damn well could, because she wanted to. But right now, she didn’t give a shit. Maybe a little less than a shit, but still it wasn’t enough to make her do more than smooth out her pajama pants and throw on a hoodie to hide her braless chest.

Michelle was running her fingers through some of her worst snarls of hair when she heard a tap on the window, right beside her ear.

She wasn’t one to frighten easily, but she catapulted away from the window, her nerves buzzing.

Michelle’s apartment was on the fifth floor of her building, so getting random taps on her window was abnormal. A bird once flew into her window, but that had the sound of a sickening smack, very different from light tapping. She attempted to calm the rushing pressure pounding in her skull while she tried to see what had caused the noise. Her reading lamp cast only crude shadows outside. Whatever tapped her window was hanging upside down on the opposite side of the glass. It was too massive to be a bird.

Giant eyes glinted in the light of her lamp. The body looked blood-red. “What the fu—” More tapping. It pressed its face against the glass and that was when Michelle realized what it was. Or who.

It was none-other than Spider-Man. She had a hunch why Queen's resident superhero was currently tapping on her window. It was a suspicion she had for a while, but all she ever had in support was circumstantial evidence.

Spider-Man tapped again. It sounded like a finger tapping on a terrarium. Unsettling. Flipping upright, Spider-Man looked at her properly. “Is there a reason why you're tapping on my window?” She spoke loud enough that it would carry through the glass. Standing, she placed distance between herself and the window.

“MJ, it’s me.”

She stopped on her toes, tilting towards the muffled words a fraction. Her balance tipped, forcing her to take a step forward. Michelle’s knee knocked against her mattress. It buckled and gave way until she was back on her sheets.

The eyes on Spider-Man’s suit twitched. Something floated down her spine, exploding into a barrage of light and fire that took hold of her like flames on flash paper. Michelle felt it take over her the same way the reveal at the end of a book took hold of her system. It clicked and everything crashed into place. “Holy shit. I knew it!” Michelle yanked open her window, letting the masked hero slide into her room. His arm brushed against her as he smoothly bounced from her bed onto the floor. He pulled the mask from his head.

Under the mask, Peter Parker emerged. His hair stuck about at odd angles and his cheeks were flushed the slightest color of pink. Michelle hated to think it, but he looked damn good in that skin-tight suit. She sighed, looking away from him to take another chilling sip of her tea.

Trying to seem unaffected by his silent stare was harder than usual.

“So, you’re the one that’s been swinging around in pajamas.” Another sip. It was uncomfortable going down, cooling the flames licking at her ribs. Michelle focused on the smooth ceramic of the mug in her hands instead. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Peter fiddled with the mask in his hands, tugging the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “I, uh—I’ve been thinking about telling you for a long time, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. I don’t really know why.” Peter looked down. “But now—”

The air between them swelled, wrapping suffocating hands around Michelle’s neck. Why would he be telling her this now? There was a devastating realization that maybe Peter thought this would get her to open up. Now that he’s shown her his cards, he would want to see hers.

A tear was breaking through her, right through her center. She was stuck on the growing crack, wondering where she might fall.

Michelle could plummet back to familiar ground. Where she buried so many emotions it was a graveyard for every broken piece of her. She could always tip to the other side. Into woods where she could pave pathways that would deliver the words writhing inside her out of the trees, and into the light. And, there was always the third option. If she fought to keep the earth inside her from splitting open, she could collapse into a chasm she had no way of escaping.

The earth was breaking, crumbling, and she still didn’t know which way to fall.

“Why are you telling me about this now?” It was a standoff. The defining moment. She could see so much swirling in Peter’s eyes. The flutter of his lashes showed a similar rift dividing him.

Peter leveled his eyes with hers. The intensity of his gaze swallowed her, sent crackling flames slithering over her arms, up her legs. Everywhere. His gaze was hollowing her out in the best way possible. He stepped toward her, one-foot fall after another. The fire was eating away all her oxygen. Michelle couldn’t possibly breathe. The air had been licked dry of her lungs. He was right there. They were stars orbiting each other once again. As if that space between them had shrunk in only the span of a breath. “I want to show you something.”

“You already showed me something. I’d say that whole Spider-Man reveal was a pretty big something.” Michelle crossed her arms, putting distance between them, until she realized Peter wasn’t even in arms reach. He felt so much closer.

Peter chuckled. Tension diffused from his shoulders and Michelle pictured it floating away like smoke. “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t give you more of a warning. It looked like I freaked you out.”

Michelle snatched the mask from his hands, hiding her embarrassment. “What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t freak out.” She held his mask up to the light. The stitching was incredible, and its milky eyes looked like camera lenses. Michelle flipped it over to peer inside. It looked like a regular mask. What she really wanted to know was how the eyes moved—and if there was a screen or onboard dash—how it was powered. She was just about to slip her head inside when Peter lifted it from her grip.

“You kinda freaked out.” He was smiling like an idiot and Michelle snatched the mask back. She did nothing but hold it, but she felt like it proved something.

“I didn’t freak out, nerd.” She tossed the mask up in the air and caught it before Peter could take it back. Running her fingers across the glassy eyes, she remembered DC; when he’d raced up the Washington Monument. She remembered the odd urgency to his voice; how it was muffled through the fabric. News feeds flashed through her mind. She’d seen this mask millions of times, yet now it changed. Now looking at it, all she pictured was Peter with his boyish grin and understanding gaze.

When she looked up Peter’s eyes were scouring her face. She wasn’t sure what he was hoping to find written on the surface of her skin. His gaze lingered on her cheeks, the corners of her eyes, the place where her hair kissed her forehead. The way it penetrated her already fragile mask made her uncomfortable. “So,” Effectively cutting the spell between them, Michelle threw Peter’s mask back across the short distance between their bodies. He caught it with ease. “What do you want?”

“Well,” Peter said, his fingers tracing the same stitches Michelle traced moments before. She averted her eyes, somehow feeling the moment to intimate to share with him. “I got to thinking about today and—If I’m crossing a line here, you can tell me,”

“I always do, don’t I?” The banter helped keep Michelle focused on reality, instead of the soft edges of his eyes or the agile curves of his fingers.

Chuckling, Peter squeezed the mask in his hands. He twisted the fabric, ringing out non-existent water. “Yeah, you do.” He cleared his throat, expelling nerves. “But what I’m trying to get at I suppose is—well, uh. When you were talking earlier today and said you wanted to escape and stuff. It, um—it really got me thinking, basically, that maybe I could help. And you’d mentioned stargazing, and I got this idea. And I thought, maybe—I don’t know. I thought, maybe, if you wanted, I could help you escape for a few hours. No strings attached. I mean we don’t even have to talk… If you don’t want to.” After a cumbersome sentence, and the constant avoidance of any visual contact, he finally looked her in the eye once more.

She hated how endearing he was. She hated he’d managed to chip away her walls to the point the thought of keeping everything from him seemed impossible. She hated everything about him, but it was coursing through her veins in the most intoxicating, beautiful way. She wondered for a moment if that was what love felt like. God, how much she wanted to scream at his persistence, yet the warmth of his selflessness melted and filled her at the same time. Looking at him—eyes warm, a soothing balm to her fiery soul—she thought, this must be what love feels like…

“MJ,” Her name floated in his voice, into her ears. The beautiful raspy sound was alcohol to her bloodstream. It enveloped her in light-headed warmth. She couldn’t focus on anything but him. Peter deserved so much more than her. He’d found so much more than Michelle ever could be. He found it in Gwen.

Michelle blinked, breaking her of her trance.

Looking at Peter was like gazing into the sun. The threat of falling hopelessly into him terrified her. If she fell, she’d be eaten by a disastrous fire before she even reached the surface. She fell back against her bed, not trusting the slight wobble of her knees. “MJ, did you hear me?” Peter asked, advancing the smallest bit toward her.

It took every fiber of her resolve, but she forced her face back into the cool mask. “Yeah I heard you,” She leveled her gaze at him, exuding a sense of calm indifference. Still, there was a pounding in her chest that screamed for help. Michelle cleared her throat, smirking. “You want to take me to some mystery place to ‘cheer me up’.”

Peter’s mouth jumped open, ready to disagree, because since when did MJ need cheering up? But he snapped his jaw shut as soon as she smacked him with a hearty glare. A laugh brushed past his lips. “Well, yeah.” He paused. “But the thing is—well, you need it. Not to say you need me—I mean…God—I just thought maybe you’d be interested in it, and now I realize I’m being stupid. I’m really sorry. I just thought that maybe—”

His words cut off when Michelle wrapped her fingers around Peter’s wrist. She had to tell herself fire didn’t exist just so she could ignore the delightful burn under all five of her fingers. “I’m in.”

“Really, you’ll go?” His smile faltered. It was nothing more than a flicker in his eye. Michelle saw it as the nervous smile it was. “Do you—I mean—well. Is it okay if I go with you?” His gloved fingers twisted around his mask once more, twisting a knot into Michelle’s gut.

The answer came easier than it should. It came a welcome rain to the desert floor. “Yes." Shrugging, she feigned aloofness. "Besides I have no idea where it is.”

“Right.” Peter stepped up to her, his arms reaching out for her. Until they stopped. They deflated, awkward, to his sides. Words tumbled from his lips. Michelle barely managed to catch the sentence; he spoke so fast. “Um, is-is it okay to, um, pick you up? I mean, it’s just...” He paused. Raked a hand through his already mused hair. The action managed to tame most of the strands, laying them back away from his face. “Do you trust me? Because I don’t know how to explain it.” He put his hand out, an invitation. Peter’s gravity was yanking at Michelle’s stomach.

Making show, so not to focus on the heat at the tip of her ribs, Michelle slapped her hand into Peter’s palm. “What is this? Aladdin? God, you’re so dramatic.” She may have imagined the way his thumb, covered in leather and cotton, swept along the back of her hand. Michelle told herself that his index finger had no ulterior motives when it kissed the tendon on the inside of her wrist.

Peter smirked, but she caught it out of the corner of her eye before he was stepping up to her and pulling her towards the open window. “You know me. Always one for the dramatics.”

If she was thinking, a snarky retort would have slithered out past her lips. But that didn’t happen because Peter stood on the ledge of the window and dragged her closer. It knocked the breath out of her. Each step was a kick to the gut. Fear was a winding serpent, squeezing her throat closed. When Peter let her go to put on his mask, she found herself reeling a few steps back. The eyes of the mask narrowed in her direction and Peter’s head tilted to the side. “What’s wrong?”

“Is there a reason why we have to jump out of my window?”

Peter stepped back into the room, his foot making a mark on her sheets. Michelle shot him a look and he stepped back over the sill. “Well, yeah. I mean, it’s either that or walk all the way downstairs, and then just climb back up another building.”

“And why are we climbing so much?” Michelle forced her eyes to harden, masking the anxiety writhing within her.

Peter’s head tilted from side to side, deciding if he should let her in on the little surprise. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Not with me.” Maybe he had that dorky, sweet smile beneath the mask. She would never know, but she liked to think he did. “I promise.” His voice came muffled through the mask, yet it pierced through Michelle. She swore his words rushed right through the space between her fifth and sixth ribs. They lodged somewhere in the flesh beyond. She could feel them, and if she gasped in just the right way, they pushed up against her heart.

This time she took his offered hand softer, gliding her fingers into his palm. For a moment, she couldn’t distinguish if there was fabric between their skin.

Peter pulled her up on the bed. She wasn’t wearing shoes, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t need them.

“I’m gonna wrap my arm around you, so don’t hit me or anything.”

He was taller than her for this one moment, and the way his head ducked minutely closer to her ear sent shivers down her arms. “No promises.”

The solid weight of Peter's arm drifted around her waist. Once he trailed his hands around her waist's circumstance, he latched her against his body. Firm, strong... She felt every inch of his chest along her own. Michelle’s toes lifted from the bed, skimmed the edge of her windowsill, then there was nothing but air and Peter. Her arms, which wound loose around his neck, squeezed tight enough to cause a grunt. “MJ,” Peter sounded strangled, so she forced herself to let up. “MJ,”

“What?” From the spot in Peter’s neck where she buried her face, her voice wafted into the wind.

"Choking. Not breathing." He rasped; she allowed her arms to relax until she had just a firm hold around his neck.

"Sorry."

Hearing something smacking against the wall, she dared to look around. Peter had strung up a web against the wall of her apartment. She could see small strands of it glistening in the light, leading back to Peter’s hand. She tried to disassociate with the fact she was dangling off the side of a building by stating, “That’s some crazy chemistry, Parker.”

“Yeah, I know.” Michelle felt Peter’s chuckle in her chest, felt the rush of air pass through the mask onto her neck as he leaned back against the strand. Her entire body fell against his. The solid warmth of him pushed against her chest. She was mesmerized by the way he’d exhale just as she’d inhale. It was pure harmony. Like the way the sun kissed the horizon goodbye and the moon kissed it hello.

They were at a forty-five-degree angle when Peter turned his head, his chin trailing across her forehead. “I’m gonna let go for a minute, okay?”

The delusional world of touch and sound faded away into crushing anxiety winding back around her chest. Her arms squeezed him ever tighter. “What?”

“I’m just gonna close the window. You just need to lean into me, and you’ll be fine. You know, because of gravity and all.” She swore she could feel his smirk through the mask against her right brow. “It’s basic science, MJ. I thought you’d have known that.”

She’d smack him if she wasn’t dangling five stories in the air with nothing between her and death except a teenage boy. “You’re such a dick sometimes.”

The muscles in Peter’s chest stretched as his arm strained to pull her window shut. Every detailed movement of his arm translated into Michelle. She felt the flex and elongation of his shoulders under her arms.

“A nice dick, though.” Peter exhaled across her neck. It sparked little fires on her skin. When he inhaled it left a breathless vacuum.

It took approximately three exhales for Michelle to think up a proper thing to say. “I’m sure the girls fall all over that.” Michelle tilted her lips towards the faint outline of Peter’s ears. She brushed the fabric with each whispered word. “Hi, I’m Peter Parker and I’m a very nice dick.”

A shiver passed through Peter. He slipped a few inches, causing his body to turn ridged against Michelle’s. She felt her heart drop into the acid of her stomach. Peter yanked her impossibly closer. Her arms tightened around his neck, his pulse racing against her own. “J-Jesus, MJ. You can’t say things like that.”

Not factoring in the actuality that she could have just died, Michelle smirked against the tough fibers covering Peter’s neck. “I say things like that all the time.” She was breathless; her lungs starved of oxygen.

The slap of her window closing delayed Peter’s retort. As he began pulling them into an upright position, he finally grunted out a response. “You know, I could let you fall right now. I have that power.” Michelle felt her body sliding down Peter's as he pulled them upright.

Gravity was daunting as Peter’s weight shifted from beneath her. “Such a charmer. You tell all the girls that?” She allowed sarcasm to soothe her.

“Shut up.”

She heaved a breathy laugh as her arms flexed around his shoulders. The more they straightened the more her feet found a perch atop his. Her back kissed the wall. Peter stuck to it as his moniker implied. He was Spider-Man after all. Michelle would have to ask about how he stuck to flat surfaces later; because right now she could only focus on a few things at a time. At the current moment, it was the utter fear gripping her system. And then it was the way Peter’s nose bumped into her chin. She was at least three inches taller than him with her feet resting atop his.

The pull of gravity itched to yank her away from Peter, yet his arm seemed unbreakable around her waist.

There was something different about when someone was the ground beneath you, and the stars above you. His arm reached above her, his hand holding them against the wall, He was no more than a breath away. Michelle never felt so completely entangled in another person. She briefly wondered if Peter felt the same, even though she knew he didn’t. Not in the way she wanted him to.

Peter swung around Michelle, positioning himself in a makeshift squat against the wall. Michelle sat on his bent legs.

He pulled something out from a pocket in his suit that was virtually invisible. It looked like it was a rope woven from web. Careful not to let her go with his other arm, he hung the rope around his neck, before his free hand slapped back to the wall. “Just in case, thread that around my waist and around yours.”

Michelle laughed. “You know, people use full harnesses for rock climbing? If I fall, tying this around my waist isn’t gonna do shit.”

“It’s a work in progress. Jesus, why are you so difficult?”

Regardless of how absurd it was, she leaned into his bent legs, loosening her arms from his neck. She picked the rope up. It felt oddly cold, but it was more so the texture that made it feel that way. The elasticity and strength of the stand was astonishing. She threaded it around their bodies, careful of Peter’s hand wrapped around her, and tied it in a figure eight knot.

And then, they were ready.

It took them ten minutes of swinging to get to Peter’s mystery location. Michelle swore she’d jump off a building before she let Peter swing her around Queens again.

He was now scaling the side of a building, slower than she was sure he could go, but then he was only using one hand. Michelle kept Peter in a bear hug, her legs wrapped tight around his waist. After they passed the tenth floor, she glued her eyes shut to keep from throwing up. Peter was trying to keep her talking. He could probably feel the thundering of her heart against his chest and knew she was scared out of her mind. If there weren’t more pressing things to worry about, Michelle would be embarrassed by how typical she was acting. Shouldn’t she be able to dangle fifteen stories in the air and be completely neutral about it?

She forced her eyes open, convincing herself that she was being ridiculous. If she was on the other side of the glass, looking down from the interior of the building, she would be fine. Now, seeing the shrunken effect on cars and the few people mulling about below, Michelle felt a new wave of nausea and promptly shut her eyes again.

Peter was babbling on about something, she could hear snippets of Star Wars, and how The Last Jedi wasn’t that bad after he watched it again. A particularly nippy gust of wind washed through her hair, smacking into her body, Michelle shivered through her teeth, “Peter, this is not the time to nerd out on me.”

“Are you cold?”

“What was the first clue?”

Peter huffed, pulling them both up another floor. “You know, I drag you up her with your boney hips and I don’t even get a thank you. Frankly I’m shocked. Your manners are appalling.” He said it with a quiver of laughter in his voice.

“First of all, I was fine sitting at home, you begged me to come. Secondly, you can shut the hell up about my boney hips because literally you’ve got the boniest everything ever, so suck it up.” Michelle looked up to the sky because it was better than gazing at the distance between her feet and the unforgiving pavement beneath. She was pretty sure they were at the top of the building Peter had scaled for the better part of thirty minutes.

Peter hauled them both onto the flat surface of the roof. It took some work for him to pull them up as a unified pair.

His foot slipped against the gothic trimming of the building, causing him to crash into Michelle. The force knocked her off kilter. Gravel bit into her back. Peter fell on top of her, flopping on her chest and panting with anxiety. “Sorry. I slipped, but it’s okay. We’re okay… Are you okay?” He yanked the mask off, his breath washing across her cheeks, prickling her neck. His weight was still pushing into her. He asked his question again when she didn’t answer. His face was close. It’d been this close before, but this felt different. “MJ, are you okay?” It was a whisper, at least that’s what it felt like. Whispering always felt so intimate.

Gulping down the burn aching in her throat, Michelle shoved him away to save from doing something stupid. “Yeah I’m great. I really loved the part where we almost died.”

Peter laughed. He rolled from her and stored his mask in his backpack. “We didn’t almost die.”

“So, swinging around Queens and scaling buildings with crazy superpowers that make no scientific sense is completely safe? My life was in danger, Parker.”

Eyes rolled in his head, a smirk twitched on his face “For someone who seems so chill, you really are a drama queen.”

With a sly grin, Michelle started to pull herself to her feet. This banter was the most normal her and Peter had been in weeks. “I couldn’t possibly take Her Majesty's crown away from her.” Rolling to her feet, she slapped Peter twice on the shoulder. Her pointed look conveyed what her words didn’t.

Peter pulled back, placing a hand to his heart. “You can’t possibly mean me?”

“Seeing how you’re the one who wears red and blue pajamas while saving the city, I’d say yes.” The gravel was biting into her feet, poking her heels and toes with jagged edges. Without thinking, her weight shifted from foot to foot, trying to find a comfortable position. “What did you want to show me anyways, loser?”

Perking up, Peter slung his backpack from his shoulder to the ground. He reached into the mouth of it, searching for something until his face shifted into delight. He pulled a cube, matte black with glowing blue edges, from the bag.

Peter handed her the cube and she explored the surface with prying fingers. Smooth metal, cool to the touch greeted her fingertips. The neon blue lights flickered when her fingers brushed against them. “What is it?”

Peter took it from her palm. His eyes flickered over her injured hand and she knew he wanted to ask how she was doing. Instead he reverted his attention back to the cube. Fast as lightning, but Michelle picked up on it.

“Come on, I’ll show you.” He slung his backpack onto one shoulder and hopped away from her. Grinning wide, he was already halfway across the roof. He hunched over something that looked like blankets. He set the cube down as Michelle started to make her way across the gravel. She should have put shoes on. Every step lodged jagged rocks into the pads of her feet. She took her steps light and slow.

Once she managed her way to Peter and came up beside him, she saw blankets laid out over the center of the roof, taking up a good radius of space. Michelle stepped behind him and onto the layers of blankets. He was crouched down over the cube he’d been showing to her. He set it up around the fringe of the blankets. She noticed there were three more set up around the perimeter just like it. “What's—” she began to ask, until she realized Peter had his phone pressed against his cheek.

“Mr. Stark,” With Peter’s back turned toward her, he spoke hushed into the phone. She stared at the spider graphic sprawled across his shoulder blades. Peter continued on, “Well I just figured—no! I mean, yes. I know I shouldn’t have—but it was right there and—What? No, she isn’t. Oh my God, please stop. Mr. Stark, can you please just—? She isn’t my girlfriend. I’m just trying to be a good friend. Please can you stop asking me about—Oh my God.” Peter’s head dropped low enough that Michelle could see only his neck.

He was listening intent to Tony Stark on the other line, and Michelle couldn’t resist messing with him. Padding over, she placed her lips close enough to his ear that her voice could fill them completely. “What’cha doin’, Spidey?”

He shot into the air. Literally, Peter went about three feet in the air. “MJ!” he screeched. The phone was still tight in his fist. “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me.”

She shrugged, feigning innocence, and plopped down on the blankets. Peter must have layered them up because she couldn’t feel the gravel beneath her. “You didn’t happen to steal this tech from Tony Stark, did you?”

Peter yelped and covered the receiver of his phone. “I borrowed it!”

“Typical white person response.” Laying back, Michelle turned her face toward the sky. There was always the impenetrable glow of the city below. No stars, only light slung up into the heavens. It was the vast nothingness she accepted.

“How is that a—" Peter shot her a dirty look. His face always looked too much like a puppy to take him seriously. “Nevermind.” He spoke a few more hushed words into the receiver Michelle couldn’t make out. Not that she was trying to eavesdrop. She was naturally curious. All she managed to hear was an elated, “Thank you so much, Mr. Stark!” before Peter hung up the phone. He kneeled next to one of the cubes around the blankets and fidgeted with it. In the darkness Michelle could only see the flash of his fingers over blue light before the washed-out sky above her dissolved into a clear view of the stars.

Bolting up, Michelle’s eyes roamed over the dome now above her. Black around the edges, fading into a glittered peak. She curled her fingers through the flicker of the dome. The glowing pricks above her head dimmed as her hand moved through them. “Is this a hologram?”

Peter’s weight dropped beside her and he brought a blanket over their legs. His arm brushed hers. “Sort of. Mr. Stark created it to keep an eye on the sky after everything that’s happened. But living in light polluted areas he couldn’t just go stargazing. I thought he’d have like a giant observatory, but he doesn’t. Well, I don’t think he does…” He shrugged. “I don’t know. If he does, I don’t think he uses it. Either way, he started looking into creating a mini observatory that he could carry with him. It uses holotech to create a filter for light pollution, and since it creates a dome over the viewer, the micro telescope can filter everything out. Then, if you want, you can zoom, and the dome will project the magnified image. Watch.” With a proud smile, Peter swept his hands in front of the dome. His actions caused the sky to zoom inwards until Michelle was looking directly into the Milky Way. There were so many more stars above her than she had ever seen. Inhaling deeply, the pure sight of the sky filled her.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Peter asked, glancing at her for approval.

Michelle, with her eyes brimming in stars and her vision a typhoon of galaxies, smiled and nodded. “I’ve never seen so many stars. This is incredible.” Her breath hitched when she glanced away enough to look at Peter. All nose and eyebrows from the side. His lips a thin line per usual. “Thank you.” It was no more than a whisper.

Peter met her eyes. Only half of his face was visible in the reduced light, but Michelle could see the tender smile across his face. “You’re welcome.”

The realization that she’d been treating her entire team and best friends as punching bags because of her own personal insecurities struck her. The thought of her father bubbled up, knowing that was how he dealt with his issues. She couldn’t bear to look at Peter with the thought and turned her face away. Clearing his throat, Peter also turned his face back to the sky.

“So, if you want, I can show you how to work this. It's pretty easy. I'm sure you can figure it out yourself.... but just in case.” He made no assumptions and didn’t instantly begin explaining.

“You can just do it. I’d rather sit back and enjoy.”

“You sure?”

Nodding, Michelle adjusted to a more comfortable position. She inadvertently brushed against Peter’s arm and stayed with her skin pressed against his warmth.

Peter began zooming in on constellations. Text appeared next to the stars providing the information that Peter would ask for aloud. Michelle began asking questions too. The experience was incredible. They looked at the crater marked surface of the Moon in detail Michelle could barely believe. Peter was able to find the sea of Tranquility without the AI’s help. When they turned their focus to Mars, Michelle then pointed out Olympus Mons. The detail was crystal clear. It was raw, celestial beauty.

Being in their own world, with the filtered dome overhead, Michelle couldn’t help feeling a surge of fire in her stomach. Rolling against her ribs and licking lower into her abdomen. She could feel the gratitude crashing over her. The wave of gratitude gave way to purity. A sense that she’d been stripped of her barriers. Peter found a way to take away her varnish and find the natural grain under her surface.

Michelle felt the heat of the stars burning over her skin. They both stared at the Milky Way shining over their heads. Peter’s knuckles brushed against hers, and she forced her hand away, assuming it was an accident. The burn coursing over her skin contradicted wildly with the emptiness inside. She’d been decimated in the past weeks. Looking up at those twinkling lights in the sky, she realized many of them may have already met her same fate. “Isn’t it so weird that a lot of these stars could’ve collapsed, burnt out, or exploded eons ago, and we wouldn’t know. A star could’ve exploded yesterday, and we wouldn’t know on Earth until billions of years from now. It’s unnerving, when you think of it.”

Peter gazed at her, caressing the profile of her face with his gentle stare. Invisible burns arched up her cheeks and rounded over her nose under his steady observation. No mockery masked Peter’s face as a closed-mouth smile reached up to crinkle his eyes. “Yeah, that’s crazy,” He trailed his eyes back to the stars, prompting Michelle to bring her attention back to the glitter filled sky. Peter continued his sentence with his face still turned up. “It really makes you think about the power of those balls of gas. Even our Sun distributes heat for millions of miles. All that raw, plasmic energy. All that heat and power. And someday, it'll be gone. It’s crazy that things so powerful in the universe can just be gone one day.” Glancing at Michelle he began to rectify what he said. “Well I mean obviously they don’t just die out of the blue. They decline, or expand, or collapse. So, it’s obvious that the death is coming, but—I mean, you get what I mean.” He paused, “But they sure are pretty to look at right now.”

Words were picking up speed in her thoughts. She thought about the death of stars. Stars which cut such a puncture through space that with her naked eye she gazed at them; trillions of miles away. And one day, they would die.

Inside, she felt a decline. The plasmic core of her universe dropping in temperature by the day. One day, the gravity wouldn’t be enough to keep her together. She’d hurtle through the universe in billions of tiny pieces. She would turn into asteroids that left destruction in their wake. Peter’s words echoed in her mind at that moment. But they sure are pretty to look at right now.

“They’re harmless from all the way down here. But if you get too close to them, they can only cause destruction. You fall into them and you burn.” Her voice was small. The words muttered at a volume reserved for reverent prayers.

Peter turned his face away from the sky and back to focus on her. “MJ?” Some questions need not be asked. Knowing what Peter would gather from her dreary comment, Michelle knew the question he was asking with just her name. He wanted to understand.

With a heavy sigh she closed her eyes and counted to five. It was the same as jumping from a cliff into the waters below. The countdown until launch. “I feel like I blew up in every meaning of the word except physically.” Swallowing, Michelle continued beyond the grip of her insecurities wrapping around her throat. They coiled in her lungs. “There’s all of this stuff that I don’t like to think about, about my past. I’ve been thinking about it so much recently.” Taking a deep breath, she continued, “It all stems to my damn father. I have so many insecurities because of what he did to my mom and me. I’ve spent my entire life trying to distance myself from him, but there’s this part inside that just feels so disgustingly like him. Like he’s passed on being a shitty human to me.” She could feel Peter’s intent gaze.

Another swallow. Deep breath. “He’d beat my mother, and I was ‘always the cause of everything’.” Sarcasm bit her tone, a sharp bark to her words. “We weren’t enough for him. Not that I give a shit about that, because he didn’t deserve my mom. But he tried to solve all his problems with anger. I felt like it was my fault, I guess and so I just started building these walls. I looked into his eyes the night they took him to prison and told myself I’d never be like him. I never wanted to be someone I wasn’t so people might like me. It never worked on my dad, and after trying so hard to change his mind I wasn't interested in changing anyone else's. I just built up those walls so he couldn’t hurt me anymore, so no one would be able to hurt me. And I’m happy with the person I’ve become, because I made myself the way I am….” She swallowed. Pushed the emotions behind her exterior and kept her eyes trained towards the galaxies.

A long silence followed. From the corner of her eye Michelle could tell Peter was listening intently to her. His lips didn’t twitch to fill the void. He waited until she was ready. A minuscule smile flashed on her lips before disappearing into smoke.

“But there’s this feeling that he’s lurking in there somewhere when I get angry or feel like I’m not the person people want me to be. All I can hear is him berating me, and all I can see is what he did to my mother, over and over. The walls I build... I feel like I’m protecting myself as much as everyone else. Because if I’m even a fraction of the person he is, I can’t let that be who I am. And when the walls crumble, I feel that part of myself lash out and it just goes to show he’s part of me. No matter how much I’ve tried to purge him. So much has been falling apart recently. And I’ve had to see that I’m not the—” …person you want…

Michelle cleared her throat, loud and violent to compensate for her near slip up. “I’ve just felt attacked for stupid reasons. Then, because I was mad, I pushed you away and acted out. And because I’ve been spiraling, the decathlon thing happened, then I punched Flash. And now to top it all off my dad wants me to come visit him in prison. And, Jesus, I’m actually thinking of going just to give him a giant, ‘fuck you for fucking up my life!’ But then I think it’s not even worth it because he doesn’t deserve that much.”

Michelle’s eyes stayed miraculously dry, but tremors crawled down her body. Her lip quivered in the slightest as she focused on trying to keep it still. Trying to laugh it off. “I’m not trying to throw a pity party here or play the misogynistic trope of the damsel in emotional distress who’s in need of your rescue.”

Reflections of the stars sparkled in Peter’s eyes. Every point of light highlighted the sincerity that Peter oozed. “That would make me your knight in shining armor.” And he chuckled, light and full of air. The breath of it broke over Michelle’s face.

She chuckled too. Now able to crease her lips into a smile, Michelle replied. “In your dreams.”

Smiling back at her, Peter said. “Yeah,” His eyes flitted down to trace the curve of her jaw. “You don't need a guy to save you.”

“I’d take Spider-Man if I was in a jam.

Peter threw his head back against the blankets with an infectious laugh. “Good to know.” When he turned back to her, that genuine, supporting gaze returned. “But seriously, MJ, you are nothing like your dad. I mean, you’re my best friend, and I like to think I know you. The real you. You could never be like your dad. Not from what you just told me. I think you know that somewhere deep inside. You could tame the sea, MJ. I mean—I’m pretty sure that you are God. I mean,” He blushed ever so slightly. “You’re one of the most badass, caring, mindful, intelligent, beautiful people I know. That may not help at all, because I get insecurities and have bad anxiety. I know that sometimes no matter what people say—I just know that sometimes it doesn’t help. You’re having a hard time right now, but just please remember that I—everyone—Ned, Aunt May, and I, all love you. I love you so much I—” He cleared his throat. “Ned does too. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Much less us. You are Michelle Goddamn Jones. And you, ma’am...” He brushed the knuckle of his index finger down the bridge of her nose. Fire woke in its path. “You are a national treasure.”

“Laying it on pretty thick, huh?” The smile wobbled on her face, but felt firm, her cheeks filled with burning plasma. A tear slipped from the edge of her eye and slid halfway down her cheek before Peter’s thumb caught it.

“Maybe.” As Peter shrugged, he shifted closer to her. His forehead a brush away from her own. In that minuscule void he whispered, “But it’s true.”

Images of her father flashed through her thoughts.

Before Peter showed up at her window, she’d thought of all the things she’d say to her father. The words she’d use to prove that she was nothing like him. That he had no control over her life. She wanted him to know the garbage he was as a father and human. With Peter’s words now swirling around her brain, a bubbling realization took over her.

At some point she’d lost herself in the rubble her father left. Somewhere along the line, she gave too many pieces of herself to the ghosts she chased. There were things she couldn’t control. She sure as hell wouldn't allow anything to control her.

In that moment, with her head pressed against Peter’s, their eyes closed and breath braiding together, Michelle let go of her father. She owed no piece of herself to him. The memories would always hurt, but she wouldn’t waste her time on him.

When Peter’s nose skimmed her own Michelle let the guilt and pain boil away.

She was not a statue carved from stone, unable to bend or move. Stuck in eternity as one person. She was an imposing wave that battered shore, and she was the wave caressing the sand as it tumbled back to the ocean. She would not be imprisoned in her own misconceptions of what she could and couldn't be.

The resinous smell of Peter engulfed her. His cheek was soft as velvet under her lips. In that moment, she realized he was not hers to keep. She knew that all she needed from him was friendship. Anything else beyond his friendship was something she wanted but would not allow herself to need.

“Thank you.” It dripped as honey would from her lips. It was a pure murmur into Peter’s ear. Michelle put to rest the idea that Peter’s glances and smiles meant anything beyond friendship. Regardless of if he would or could love her, it didn't matter. She was not his, and he was not hers. They both belonged to each other only in friendship. She accepted it and let that longing inside diminish to nothing more than a vague ache.

She pulled away from Peter, her lips brushing faint along his skin. As her body created space between them, she began filling the emptiness inside herself.

Finally, she was beginning to feel whole.

________________________________________________________________

Tag list:

@themainek @monikastec @psychicrunawaybouquet-aus @avengers-gonna-avenge @nerdofthehighestcalibre @itsrockannelove @ladybugrodriguez @you-guys--are-losers @whydoineedtowriteanamehere @princessechahrazad @sodafizzyart @jinksefire @janecobain @pilarbrad’ly @kiakamill @flawless-tlc @marvel-and-musicals @midtownhighdecathlon @purplesoul-at-hogwarts @croixcoeur

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internetremix · 5 years ago

Note

In IR lore, what are the personalities of your personas? Basic likes and dislikes?

Kristen: Goggles is An Child and behaves as such. She's very cheerful, very curious, a bit mischievous and also 100% obsessed with making fanwork of her internet family... like a goddamn weirdo. She'll usually be hanging out with everyone, spot some sort of inspiration, squeak with joy and then rush off to write or draw. She's also the defacto leader of the Smol Squad, which is composed of herself, Shyner, Jojo and Chi-chi, and she's usually the one squeaking out ridiculous plans in muppet for dumb shit like stealing cookies and trying to trap people in fanfiction scenarios. She likes to help and can often be found doing such things as assisting Xander in his many schemes or just popping up to provide shit like charts or hold things for other people- basically whenever it would be funny to have some goddamn muppet backing something up.

She loves plush toys, particularly Crockernanner, and also loves sugar, star decorations, and cuddles. She likes being picked up and loves attention, and she's pretty consistently attached to at least one person, often her big brother Split if she's not with the Smol Squad. She is in eternal war with Phill since he bullies her constantly, and will occasionally try to set up elaborate traps for revenge only to fail miserably. Also she's a huge weeb. She does not like to sleep and will often go days without it before being dragged off by some bigger person to take a goddamn nap you ridiculous child. She is also very afraid of thunderstorms, she doesn't like loud noises or the dark.

She also has... various flaws and problems. But those are spoilers and I have no idea when/if we’ll be doing story stuff with IRsonas so I don’t want to give too much away with that.

Sorry this is very long, I think about my child a lot.

Jojo: JoJo is also a very happy child... like, stupid happy all the time. Like, they don't really have a concept of being angry. they're either manic happy or a bit sad. They love to find any way to make anybody smile or laugh, whether it be a somber happy, or a crying fit of laughter. They thrive off of happiness. They're a bit mischievous as well, and will try to play pranks and swipe things to chew on. They'll just appear in random places you'd never expect. like, in the pantry, the vent, or in your drawer. They chew things all the time to keep their dragon teeth sharp! They do tend to come off as obnoxious and kind of useless sometimes? But that's ok.

They love happiness, rocks, swimming, sandwiches, Vanilla coke, coffee, pianos, stars, ghost stuff(horror genre), and laughter. JoJo is pretty similar to Goggles now that I think about it x_xJoJo is best friends with Phill, and will always be on him in some way. Like his leg, back, holding onto his scarf by their teeth, etc. They're also very close with Goggles and Shyner, and Scott (even though Shyner tries to chase JoJo off with knives, JoJo will take it as a game of tag or something)JoJo doesn't like being yelled at or being told to go away. They get spooked easily by loud noises. They always get paranoid when they think someone is mad at them and will go to ungodly lengths to make them not mad or slightly annoyed with them, which sometimes makes people more annoyed with them than they were before.

JoJo is just an exaggerated version of me XD

Atwas: Atwas is fairly easy going. They make light of things often, and often hide serious sentiments behind jokes. They’re the type to roll with goofy and silly situations, and are very “yes and” type that enjoys escalating things in the name of light-hearted fun. They enjoy playing pranks, especially ones that take advantage of their hologrammatic nature (being able to enter and ‘possess’ electronics is something that they take advantage of often). Being technically in the cloud and a part of the internet at all times, they will often chime in with fun (often unrelated or humorous) metrics about situations and people as they occur—and often forgets that having a HUD isn’t something everyone has access to.

Being ‘technically’ invulnerable, atwas isn’t phased by the more dangerous things that go on in the IR tower, but usually prefers being a spectator or commentator as opposed to being an active participant in general shenaniganry. They don’t have any particular animosity towards anyone, and will occasionally help manage technical parts and functions of the tower.

They enjoy things like tech, cold weather, tea, fun statistics, darkness; and aesthetics like Film Noir and Retrowave.

They dislike things like excessively hot weather, being interrupted, getting too personal, having to put in a lot of “effort”, and being out of the loop.

Shyner: Shyner can easily be summed up to a tsundere in denial, and is the definition of an agent of chaos. If something goes wrong, she’s the one pouring a trail of kerosene to let the fire spread. She's loud, impulsive, and really doesn't give two shits. While quirky and charismatic, she’s also sarcastic and witty, reveling in the amusement of making fun of others. She’s often stubborn and impatient, thinking highly of her own beliefs and angered by those who dare to challenge her ideals. She also lacks a filter, and enjoys garnishing her words with colorful profanities. Filled with gripes of past trauma, she’s engaged in a constant internal war of turmoil and grief. She’s incredibly cautious and closed off around those she doesn’t trust, and can be very selfish. Despite this, she’s loyal to the few people she cares about, going out of her way to put them first if a dire situation were to arise. She’s also very sneaky and mischievous, often finding amusement in spying on others. Her MBTI is INTP-T.

Her hobbies include stargazing, ghost hunting, spying, and Satanic worship. She enjoys melancholy vibes, horror movies, animals, thunderstorms, and has an unhealthy obsession with sweets. Yes, this child will stab you without hesitancy if you take her cookies. She dislikes seafood, big crowds, kiddie leashes, and is afraid of experiencing intense emotion she doesn’t understand.I love my satanic smol bean very much. If I may be so bold as to dive into the nitty-gritty psychology, Shyner possesses many flaws, a lot of which I personally struggled with growing up. She is a reflection of my past self, some gripes with my current self, and the perception of how I could have turned out if I hadn’t met my family at IR. Hiding behind the exterior of being a merciless bully, she still has an intense internal desire to be a good person, but gets frustrated and often derails herself in the process of fighting her desire to act on impulse. She keeps most relationships with people at arm's length, fearing that if someone were to think highly of her, it would only be a matter of time before they’re disappointed. If we were to go full-fledged story mode, she would most definitely have an intense character redemption arc, making the revelation that being shitty to those who care about her isn’t the way to run from her problems and hide away from her own sense of self-insecurity/hatred.

Phill: Phill likes mischief, bad jokes, sexual undertones, Jojo, sexual overtones, bullying Kristen, and the colour pink. That's it xD

Jojo: :D yay

Alex: Alex don't give a shit but is for whatever reason the bossman and is also as powerful as silver age Superman, just don't try actual murder of the crew and he won't yeet you into the sun

Moon: 2019 Moon is an idiot. If we didn't know any better, we would assume he was born from nothing but an old head of lettuce in Satan's refrigerator. Think like Scott from Monster Prom, but different. He knows his right from his left, but the compass is still just "NESW" to him. Impulsive, lovable, and kinda loud, this muscley dumbass will do practically anything you tell him to if he finds it enjoyable. When paired with a few people, he works well as a second to many dynamic duos. Brodingles and Moon/Split and Moon are two really good ones, dangerous shenanigans ensue. Can and will rap like a beast, any challenge to a freestyle will result in a career ending and a death being sentenced. Extroverted people pleaser, definitely shooting high to perform and when adapting to a character, goes a little too hard. This man played Gander in Charlottes Web and didn't stop making goose sounds for months. Did I mention he's also a disney princess? Singing, animals, mortal enemy falling to their death? Everything

Dawn: ToonWolf/Dawn's personality falls within the confines of recklessly adventurous who doesn't think things through entirely. They like to try and rope others into going on various hikes, treasure hunts, mythic/cryptid searches, etc. Unapologetic sailor mouth. They will fight for friends and family. Various animals, trinkets, treasures, and cool but useless garbage are brought back to the tower often (oops theres a liiiiiiitle bit of hoarding). Sometimes those animals consist of dogs, cats, lizards, bears, wolves, The Great Noble One, horses, lions, elk, you get the idea (Can I keep them?Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeee??????????).

Overall they are most comfortable and relaxed in/around water and likes a whole lotta things including sailing, swimming, adventure, stargazing, animals, mythology/legends, friends, family, and drawing.

They dislike waking up early, limitations, being talked down to, boredom, desert/hot/humid/dry weather, coffee, and the movie "Cube"

Tex: Tex is an avid cryptid detective + has a surprisingly good intuition when creating conspiracy theories about them to follow. Mm lots of memes and disguises. Smart, but usually just off on their own thinking about other stuff.Totally has a wall in their room dedicated to figuring all the cryptids out with like, red string and everything.

#whole crew #ask the ir crew #irsonas #sorry I know this isn't everyone we have a big crew and not everyone is up to answer this stuff #Anonymous

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seagreen-meets-grey · 6 years ago

Text

When you’re close to me

After the realization hit her, it was impossible for Astrid to look at him the same way anymore. (Aka being a teenager and having a crush on your best friend is the best set-up for prom night.)

[Part 1: Revelations] [Part 2: Chicken Dance] [Part 3: Night Owls]

(The quoted song is “Sway” by Blue October.)

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

Astrid didn’t know exactly when it started.

She remembered lunch in the cafeteria, trying to squeeze in some homework, and a slightly nasal laugh when the math equations didn’t make sense to her and she let that out in a menacing tirade under her breath. She remembered wondering why it had pleasantly filled her ears, why it had made her look up.

She remembered standing in the school’s hallway shortly after last period, students jostling around, a cacophony of girly laughter, loud testosterone-filled exclamations and the general buzz of conversation surrounding her. She remembered turning away from her locker, ready to head out, and catching a glimpse of auburn hair in the crowd. She remembered smiling and waiting for him to catch up to her so they could walk out together.

She remembered her smile growing at every new text, remembered her sudden awareness of how much fun it was to hang out together.

But most of all, she remembered that one Saturday before finals.

It had been a busy couple of weeks, crammed with last-minute papers and presentations, long nights filled with caffeine and frustration. She was nothing but an ambitious student, always determined to ace every test coming her way, to prove herself and excel in every subject. Astrid Hofferson had goals, and she’d do everything in her power to reach those goals. That meant a very rigorous studying schedule, no distractions allowed. That again involved not being able to see her friends outside of school. She had no time for smoothies and movies, for afternoons in the park, the cove or on Heather’s couch, and certainly no time for Hiccup Haddock. Which sucked, because he was her best friend – the best she’s ever had, if anyone asked her.

She had first met him in kindergarten, but never really had had anything to do with him. Only when they got paired up for a project in freshman year – the classic way of getting to know people you never talked to – and after the initial rounds of awkward silence, did she have a real conversation with him. Up to that point, she had thought they couldn’t be more different people and that she couldn’t be less interested in the person that was Hiccup Haddock. But when he mentioned his dog with a missing tail and she told him stories about the parakeet she’d had as a kid and the puppy she had recently adopted, the conversation just kept flowing. Not always smoothly, but that didn’t matter. She liked talking to him. She found out he had a strong passion for what he loved and what he thought was right. He deeply cared for the people in his life and would do anything for them. Besides, it turned out they shared a lot of interests, and that made becoming friends even easier. And being friends with Hiccup was just that – easy. It was as if they clicked on another level, able to read each other like a book. There was no one who Astrid rather spent time with. He always made her forget about her troubles, but unfortunately finals – and therefore studying – were her troubles at the time.

Astrid groaned and buried her face in her physics textbook. She was lying on her stomach on the ground in her room, every surface covered with binders, notepads, textbooks, post-its, and index cards – the aftermath of a whole Saturday morning filled to the brim with studying, right after a short few hours of sleep preceded by a Friday afternoon and night study session.

Her brain was overflowing with equations, bullet points, half-sentences and phrases that refused to fall into context. The more she read and reviewed the less sense everything made in her head. Astrid sighed. She needed a breather. Placing her textbook aside, careful so the post-its didn’t shift out of place, she reached for her phone. She lay on her back and, holding her phone above her face, skimmed through various group chats. They all basically said the same; people were either studying or procrastinating, asking for help in several subjects, and the overall vibe screamed for salvation in the form of finals to be over already or a distraction of any shape or form.

Astrid was just grinning at a few memes sent by the twins when her phone suddenly buzzed several times from incoming texts, prompting her to drop it on her face.

Hiccup [11:48am]: your brain melted yet? i think i’m seeing smoke signals coming from your house

Hiccup [11:48am]: or did you try to make lunch and the house is burning down

Hiccup [11:48am]: do i need to call 911

Hiccup [11:49am]: where are your parents

Hiccup [11:49am]: omg did you finally snap from all the studying and killed them?

Rubbing her aching nose where her phone had met her face a moment ago, she typed back.

Astrid [11:50am]: Who do you think I’m cooking? ;)

Hiccup answered with a series of shocked emojis. Astrid grinned and imagined him placing a hand on his chest, pseudo-shocked look on his face. She rolled back onto her stomach, eyes set to the little dots indicating he was typing.

Hiccup [11:51am]: tbh i’m not surprised

Hiccup [11:51am]: always knew it was just a matter of time until someone died at your hands

Hiccup [11:52am]: how did you do it? axe or feeding them your version of an edible meal?

She could easily picture him gesticulating, waving his hands around, never able to keep them still while talking. It was kind of charming.

Astrid [11:52am]: Axe, of course. My cooking might be basic, but it doesn’t kill people.

Hiccup [11:53am]: biggest

Hiccup [11:53am]: lie

Hiccup [11:53am]: ever

Hiccup [11:53am]: hofferson

Astrid was about to reply when another text came in.

Hiccup [11:54am]: HOLY SHIT IS THAT WHY YOUR STEW WAS SO BAD? WHERE YOUR NEIGHBORS IN IT???!!

She rolled her eyes. A few months ago, she had made dinner for her friends. She had tried to follow her mother’s recipe but with her own twists, wanted to create something new, something originally Astrid – and, apparently, had succeeded. Only that her friends were rather spitting it back out on their plates than praising her cooking skills. The only one who at least tried and gulped down a few spoonfuls was Hiccup, and she loved him for it, despite the following teasing she had to endure.

Astrid [11:55am]: Shut up, Hiccup. I’m trying to study here.

Hiccup [11:55am]: how’s that going

Hiccup [11:56am]: have you even eaten anything yet

Astrid sighed. At his mention of stew, her stomach had growled viciously. Aside from half a croissant early in the morning, she’d had nothing to eat yet. She’d been so absorbed in studying that she hadn’t even noticed her parents leaving for their shopping day. Just one more chapter, she told herself while reopening her textbook, then she’d look for something to eat in the kitchen.

She put her phone away, not giving Hiccup the chance to further tease her on the subject of food. She would never admit this to him, but he was right. Astrid didn’t know how to cook, no matter how many cookbooks and articles she read, no matter how often she tried even the simplest meals. She was a lost cause. This was the reason why her motivation to look for something edible wasn’t necessarily high. She knew for sure there were no leftovers, and the fridge was likely mostly empty anyway; her parents would buy groceries at the end of their day at the mall.

Forcing herself back to her textbook, she pushed the notion of food to the back of her mind. Soon she was buried deep in her notes, trying desperately to press new information into her brain. When she stared at an equation and the numbers and symbols started dancing all over the page, she groaned in frustration. She needed to know this stuff by next Friday, and there was still so much more to revise.

She got up and went to the bathroom, filling the sink with cold water which she then dunked her head in several times. But it was of no use, it wasn’t ice water, of course this wouldn’t work. The only thing it did was to make her aware of how thirsty she was. While towel-drying her hair, she trudged down the stairs to grab herself a bottle of water. A quick check of the fridge confirmed her suspicion that there was basically no real food in this house. She found a few crackers in the cupboard and resigned herself to her dry excuse of a lunch when she heard the bell ring.

Bag of crackers in hand, she went to open the door and was greeted by a pair of familiar green eyes and a lopsided smile.

“Hey,” Hiccup said. His hair was as tousled as always and she noticed he was wearing an old green sweater that he only dug out on lazy weekends. Astrid didn’t have to ask if he had opened a textbook at all today.

“Hiccup, you’re smart,” she said in lieu of a greeting. “How do I restart my brain?”

Following her into the house and stealing a few of her crackers, which earned him a ferocious glare, he shrugged. “That’s exactly why I’m here.” He threw a cracker in his mouth and nearly missed. “I read the smoke signals.”

Astrid gave him a punch on the arm. “That’s for wasting my last food ration. Now I’m going to starve!”

Rubbing his arm, he motioned his head toward his car that was parked outside. “Then let’s go get some food.”

She crossed her arms, empty bag crinkling in her hand. “I can’t. I have to study.”

“We both know you’re not going to come far like this. Come on, I know you need a break.”

Astrid sighed. They both knew he was right.

“And something to eat,” he added when her stomach chimed in on the discussion. “See? Now let’s go before you kill and eat me too.”

Astrid bit her lip. She knew he wasn’t going to drop this. And a short break from studying could surely recharge her concentration.

“Alright,” she gave in with a sigh and put the bag in the trash, grabbed her jacket and followed Hiccup back outside. “But I lied, I didn’t cook my parents. They’re out shopping.”

“In that case, I’m even more scared, in such proximity with you when you’ve clearly not yet let out your daily dose of violence.”

“It’s not violence,” she protested, “it’s communication!”

“If it is, people should even be more afraid of you. You have some strong opinions.”

Astrid grinned and shut the car door. “Hell yeah, I do.”

“So communicate with me then,” Hiccup said while turning onto the street. “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything that’s not a dry cracker.”

“Or stew.”

She punched his arm lightly and he glared at her. “I’m driving here, you insane muttonhead.”

“You’re the muttonhead,” she retorted brightly before plugging his stereo cable in her phone and selecting their special car playlist. The songs that made it in were a bunch of shared favorite songs, songs they listened to on longer car rides together, songs that had a special meaning to them, or songs that were some sort of inside joke between them. They referred to it as their car playlist, but Astrid thought of it only as her Hiccup playlist. Whenever she felt down, she listened to it, finding comfort in the memories it held and the promise of their friendship that came with it.

While the music blasted through the speakers, Hiccup hummed along.

“How did you know?” Astrid asked as he turned onto the main road.

“Hm?”

“That I needed a break from studying.”

Hiccup glanced at her before turning his eyes back on the road. “Like I said, I read the smoke signals from your brain. I call it,” he made a grand gesture with one arm, “Astrintuition.”

“That’s not a thing, you dork.”

“It is now, I just named it.”

Astrid looked out the window to hide her smile. Of course he knew. He knew that she would spend her entire weekend preparing for finals and that she’d prioritize that over everything else. That’s why he decided to come by and make sure she ate something and still saw the sun. A fond feeling spread in her chest.

They ended up at Pizza Hut where they shared their favorite pizza, a Cheesy Crust Chicken Supreme. Hiccup watched in awe as she devoured slice after slice and when he exclaimed that he was stuffed, she ate the rest of his half too. She might not look like it, he thought, but that girl could rival his father when it came to eating. Astrid was so busy with her pizza that she missed the affectionate look he gave her.

On the way back to her place, the sun came out. It hit Hiccup’s hair at just the right angle to create a fiery halo around his head. Astrid rolled down her window to enjoy the warm breeze.

When their playlist jumped to a loud and fast song, Hiccup amped up the volume. He and Astrid automatically started duetting, jerking their heads along to the fast parts and swaying in sync to the slower ones. It had taken them a lot of tries to finally get all the lyrics right in the proper pace, and even now one of them sometimes fell out, provoking a snort from the other while they spluttered to jump back in.

Astrid loved moments like these. It was her and Hiccup, a team, enjoying each other’s presence. When the song faded out, their last chuckle dying down with it, she propped up her elbow and leaned her head on her hand. She closed her eyes, felt the wind in her hair, on her skin. She smiled when she recognized the next song, her favorite from three summers ago. Silently mouthing the lyrics along, she got struck by a feeling of utter contentment, accompanied by a swelling in her chest while familiar, memory-laden streets around her where dipped in sunlight.

Forget about the trouble Forget about the drama Cause I ain't Casanova Baby I can dance for days This time with you Is just amazing in so many ways

She looked over at Hiccup who slightly bobbed his head to the music, his eyes on the road, a small smile gracing his features, the sunlight dancing in his hair. She couldn’t stop looking at him. It was as if she was suddenly seeing him with new eyes. She felt a swoop in her stomach. In the light, she could make out slight stubble on his chin. His fringe and thick eyebrows cast shadows over his face. She had never really noticed how handsome he was.

Feeling a blush heat up her cheeks, she averted her eyes. Well, this is new, she thought.

For the rest of the day, she couldn’t really concentrate on anything and fell asleep much later than usual, confusion and strange new revelations keeping her awake until early in the morning.

From then on, she noticed the little things. The small touches that were suddenly too much, the glances, the dragged-out goodbyes, the increasing frequency of hugs that tended to linger a moment too long. She wondered why she had never noticed how green his eyes were, how much taller than her he had grown, or how broad his shoulders had become only in the last year.

Every day, she noticed it, noticed him more. And it only got worse over time.

When he looked at her, her heart skipped a beat or two. He invaded her thoughts regularly and often in the most inconvenient moments, like when she wanted to sleep or needed to pay attention during class. Astrid was in no way a sappy romantic. But every time the topic of love or romance was brought up even in the slightest, her mind wandered to Hiccup, much to her chagrin. They were friends. She didn’t want to ruin that with sudden, stupid feelings.

Eventually, she came to admit to herself that she had a crush on him (just a small one really, no big deal). It was when her grandmother asked for a nice photo of her and Astrid sorted through her pictures on her laptop. After an hour or so she suddenly noticed she had moved from looking at pictures of herself to staring at pictures of Hiccup instead.

It took her a while to come to terms with it, before she tried to block it out and hoped it went away on its own. When that didn’t work, she changed tactics. Going out with someone else would certainly help her forget about her crush. But whenever she tried to find a guy she’d go on a date with, the qualities she looked for in them were traits she associated with Hiccup. In comparison to him, everyone else quickly faded into the background.

By the time she gave up changing targets, she could no longer deny to herself that this crush was indeed not small at all. And her plan to not tell anyone so that it couldn’t become a bigger deal than it was – and it really was a big deal – failed spectacularly when Heather caught her staring at Hiccup from afar and asked her if she ever noticed how she wouldn’t shut up about him. Astrid tried denying it at first, but there was no fooling Heather.

“Hiccup this, Hiccup that. Astrid, you couldn’t be more obvious.”

Sometimes, though, Astrid was glad that Heather knew. She would do her all kinds of little favors, like “accidentally” forgetting something in her locker when the three of them were on their way to class, saving Hiccup a seat that happened to be right next to Astrid, or cancelling at the last minute when they decided to go to the movies so Astrid and Hiccup were to themselves. Although Astrid loved her for doing that, it didn’t help her frustration about her one-sided crush.

Heather, however, had a different opinion. She believed that Hiccup had feelings for her, too, based on the way he acted around Astrid. Despite her hopes that her friend was right, Astrid nevertheless argued that Hiccup had always been like that since the beginning of their friendship; Heather just hadn’t been there to see it since she’d come to their school later. Besides, Hiccup was the one always stressing that they were friends (best friends, but still just friends). Heather would just look at her like she was missing something obvious.

Time went on like this, with Heather always trying to nudge Hiccup and Astrid in the right direction and telling her to just talk to him or make a move herself. And it’s not like Astrid didn’t try. She gave Hiccup signals all the time, like shuffling closer and leaning against him while they were watching a movie, dropping comments here and there about the two of them together, touching him on the arm or chest or hand whenever she got the chance to – not that she minded at all – and even going out for ice cream on Valentine’s Day. But either he didn’t notice the signs, like the dork that he was, or he read them wrong. And there was still the possibility that he wasn’t into her at all – a notion Astrid hated but had to admit could be true.

Her frustration got especially bad when prom rolled around. While she normally wouldn’t even think twice about the ridiculous need to find a prom date that other girls seemed to have, a part of her still hoped Hiccup would ask her while she tried to work up the nerve to ask him herself. But whenever she opened her mouth to bring up the topic, she chickened out. If she asked him and he said no, she didn’t want that to affect their friendship, didn’t want to jeopardize whatever it was that made their whole dynamic so easy and comfortable. And it wasn’t like she needed a prom date to have a good time with him, anyway.

She kept going back and forth with her reasonings, caught between her idea of simply having fun with her friends without conforming to high school society norms, and the inevitable pull Hiccup had on her, creating her desire to be close to him, closer than she was now. And she just couldn’t find a solution.

Astrid was sitting in the cafeteria, picking at her vegetables, while she glared daggers at the girl who was currently talking to Hiccup on the other side of the room. The girl was tall, blonde and pretty, and she had her hand on his arm while she threw her hair back laughing at something he said.

“I know cafeteria food is awful, but even those peas don’t deserve what you’re doing to them,” Heather said next to her, watching as her friend tortured squashy peas and radiated jealousy like a miniature Chernobyl. When Astrid only grunted in response, Heather sighed. “Just ask him already. I don’t know how much longer I can take this unnecessary pining.” She snorted. “Or Snotlout.”

Astrid rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me.” She’d been asked to prom nine times by now, eight of those by Snotlout (the other one by an overachieving freshman named Gustav).

She cut into her steak, pretending she wasn’t secretly watching Hiccup and that girl. Her plate made a horrible sound when she got through the steak and ran her knife over the cheap china. She and Heather cringed at the bloodcurdling noise and Astrid mumbled an apology.

When she looked up the next time, that girl was gone. Hiccup came towards their table with his food tray and sat down opposite them.

“That’s the fifth time this week that I’ve been asked to prom,” he said. “Is there some kind of prank going on?”

Astrid scowled. She only knew about three. “If there is, I’m going to kill the person responsible,” she mumbled and chewed on her steak. Hiccup frowned at her sour mood but didn’t comment on it.

“Hiccup, do you even know how popular you are?” Heather asked him. “And you’re an eyecatcher. Girls notice you.” Hiccup looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. “It’s true, just ask Astrid.”

Astrid almost choked on her (awful) steak and felt Hiccup’s eyes burning through the side of her face. “Yeah well, kind of,” she stammered, fighting the blush growing on her cheeks while she avoided his gaze, “I mean, everyone gets more handsome when they grow up, not specifically you, but everyone, you know, which doesn’t mean that you didn’t, I mean… You’re fine, I guess.” She shrugged and stuffed half her steak into her mouth so that she couldn’t start rambling again like that.

“What Astrid’s trying to say here is that I’m right.”

A quick glance told Astrid that Hiccup was still frowning at her weird behavior. “Are you alright?”

She gave him a strained smile and swallowed the ball of dry meat in her mouth. “I’m fine.” He didn’t seem convinced but didn’t question her further either. Instead, he went back to complaining.

“I just can’t catch a break from turning down prom invitations. Which I most certainly never thought I’d ever even have to do in the first place.”

Heather took from that that he’d immediately said no to all of them. A smile grew on her face as an idea crossed her mind. This was a perfect opportunity.

“Hey, why don’t you guys go together?” she asked, looking back and forth between Astrid and Hiccup. Both of them simultaneously started to protest.

“It’s not like that.”

“We’re not… It’s not…”

“We don’t date.”

“Yeah, that’d be weird, because we’re just–”

“We’re just friends.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They were both blushing pretty hard, avoiding each other’s gazes. Heather rolled her eyes.

“Then just go as friends. That means you,” she pointed at Hiccup, “will be left alone by all those girls, and you,” she pointed at Astrid, “will get Snotlout off your back.”

Astrid pondered that for a moment and came to the conclusion that she liked that thought. She and Hiccup shared a look.

“Alright,” he said and gave her a lopsided smile. “Wanna go to prom?”

She tried not to break into a wide smile while she felt the familiar tingle in her stomach. “Sure,” she shrugged and went back to eating her cafeteria food which suddenly didn’t taste so bad anymore. Hiccup did the same, suppressing a grin himself. Heather just shook her head at them and sighed. Hopeless dorks.

#hiccstrid #httyd #ff #fanfiction #fluff #modern au #high school #prom #crush fluff stuff #two chickens in love #this wasn't supposed to be so long #teenagers amirite #pining #my fic #maja writes

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