#I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS REALLY HAPPENED
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rockermybuddie · 3 days ago
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I’ll Never Leave You
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Eddie x Buck
Summary: Eddie and Buck have a deep conversation on Eddies couch after Buck came over after his break up with Tommy.
Warnings: not proof read, unsure of what im even writing.
A/n: Im still not over Bucktommy break up. Blah blah blah yeah yeah yeah they only brought Tommy back for one reason.
Im still sad ok.
In my head this is what i need to see in the next episode. What i imagine is happening.
In no way am i trying to make Tommy the bad guy in this. If you have seen any of my other posts since Epi 6, you know i love Tommy and im a multi shipper.
——————
“Tommy broke up with me.” Buck muttered. Its the first thing either of them said since they sat in the couch, the case of beer almost empty.
Eddie paused and made his known face he makes when Buck tells him he broke up with is current partner.
He turns his head and sees how hurt Buck is. Of course breaking up with someone is hard but Tommy was good for Buck so even Eddie is feeling sad for Buck.
“I’m sorry Buck.” Eddie rubs Bucks shoulder reassuringly as he finishes off his beer.
The two sat there in silence again as Eddie doesn’t want to push Buck to talk and Buck is wondering why no one stays in his life.
“We both dated Abby.”
“Really?” Eddie furrows his brows as he proceeds to think of what Buck just said.
“Yep. Tommy and Abby were engaged. And after that i was the himbo.”
“Himbo?” Eddie snorted but quickly cleared his throat when he saw the look Buck was giving him.
“Sorry.”
Eddie got up and grabbed another six pack from the fridge bringing it into the living room handle Buck another beer.
“I asked him to move in with me.”
“You did?” Eddie thinks of how long him and Tommy have been together but then again he cant say anything. He asked Marisol to move in with him.
“Then he said that ‘I’ would end up breaking his heart because he knows how this ends.”
Buck leaned his head back against the couch as he finished off another beer.
“I thought he was the one. He said that he was my first not my last. But they can be they same thing, thats what i told him. He didnt believe me. Do you believe me?” Buck looks over at Eddie who is fingering his beer bottle.
“Y-yeah, sure….they can be the same thing.” Eddie mumbles out. The beer is starting to get to him.
Buck puffs out his cheeks as he looks down at the floor. He notices Eddie is still just in his underwear and a button down with the collar flipped up. But he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Everyone always leaves me.” Buck says after minutes of silence. A tear falls down his cheek but he wipes it away.
“Maddie has left me multiple times, my parents clearly didnt want me in the first place. Bobby left. The damn lawsuit. And everytime i ask someone to move in with me, they leave.” Buck named off everyone whos ever left him making him realize that maybe hes the problem.
“Buck we are all way past the lawsuit.” Eddie reminds him. “Bobby came back to the 118. Maddie and Chimney are here and Hen is here.”
“I know. I just wish people who claim they love me would stay.” Buck says
“We all love you Buck.”
“Not like that.”
Eddie turns his head and looks at Buck, the conversation at the coffee shop with Father Brian.
“You’ll always have me Buck.” Eddie tells him, he feels his heart beat start to race and he starts to feel sweat droplets around his forehead.
Buck turned his head looking at Eddie and repeated what Eddie had just said in his head trying to put it in place with the conversation.
“What do you mean by that?” Buck asks
“I- i um… I’m your best friend.”
“Yeah?” Buck can clearly tell something is going on with Eddie, and its not how drunk he is something was going on before he got there.
“I lied to you.” Eddie says, he sees the hurt fill Bucks face even more and it makes him feel even worse.
“About what?” Buck asks him. “Being my best friend?”
“No. About me. Who i am.” He sees the pain he caused turn into confusion on Bucks face.
“I went and talked to Father Brian and he said that I’m punishing myself of ‘joy’ told me to find a way to express myself.” Eddie explains
“Is that why you shaved?” Buck asks
“Part of it.”
“The other part is because i was hiding from myself.” Eddie confessed. He found it easy to talk to Buck, he didnt feel pressure or judged.
“Are you done hiding from yourself?” Buck asks. He knows Eddie feels like a failed parent since Chris is in Texas with his parents.
He knows Eddie hasnt been himself since and he hasn’t wanted to push him about it.
“Im not sure.” Eddie says “theres something else.”
Buck reaches for another beer, as he leans back onto the couch hes a bit closer to Eddie. Their arms brush against each other as Buck takes a swig of the beer. Waiting for someone to say another word.
“Find joy” Eddie mumbles
“Hmm?” Buck looks over at Eddie.
“Joy.” Eddie places a hand on Bucks cheek as he looks into Bucks blue eyes.
“Eddie.” Buck says, the hand on his cheek feeling like a hot mold leaving a scar on his face.
This had to be the beer because why is Eddie staring into his sould wetting his lips with his tongue.
“Kiss me.” Eddie whispers
“W-what?”
“Kiss me.” He repeats
At first Buck thought he was joking there was no way Eddie wanted him to kiss him. Eddie was straight to his knowledge.
“A-are you sure?” Buck asks as he notices the tent in Eddies underwear. Its pretty easy to see since hes not wearing any pants.
“Yes.”
Eddie asking Buck to kiss him sobered him up but as soon as Buck leaned down and placed his lips on Eddies he was drunk again.
Eddies lips were warm and soft against his.
Eddie adjusted himself on the couch so Buck was above him between his legs.
Bucks tongue worked its way ino Eddies mouth as Eddies fingers slipped under his shirt.
The two were shirtless chest to chest as they made out.
“Is this what joy feels like?” Eddie asks
“Yes.” Buck quickly answered.
-
As Buck laid on Eddies bare chest listening to his heart beat all these thought were rushing through his mind.
His boyfriend just broke up with him, he came to his best friend’s house to drink a beer and to not be a lone only to have ended up making out with his best friend.
That was a very Buck 1.0 move.
He just made out with his best friend who hasnt came out to himself.
What if it was all the beer?
What if this isnt what Eddie really wants?
Buck cant go back like nothing happened.
———-
A/n: I’ll probably write another story once we know what happens next episode.
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dykedvonte · 1 month ago
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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hecksupremechips · 5 months ago
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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dailykugisaki · 1 month ago
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Day 335 | id in alt
Being desperate to end the fight might make you even worse off in the long run, Shoko.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#ieri shoko#utahime iori#Kugisaki opening her eye not even fully like all the way knowing her shit yet and immediately getting shot with 1 Ml of Adrenaline#Shoko actually regretting her actions for once#Kugisaki probably going through the most insane shit right now she probably cant feel any of her limbs at the moment#dont shoot adrenaline into a fresh out the coma child Shoko#The funniest part is. Shoko didn't train to actually do this medical shit she foes autopsy's bro she dosent know how much the body can#the body can take#Shoko does not know she probably gave Kugisaki more brain damage#Shes just sitting there with a fucked up girl using her technique#Because they BOTH dont know whats going on#utahime is tweaking the fuck out but shes gonna be okay(she'll be thinking about it for years)#Kugisaki was in a state of genuine disability where she had to be cared for by others that didn't know what they were doing#Shoko STILL dosent know. Its not her fault shes used to dealing with corpses#shoko becoming a presudo caretaker of Kugisaki because she feels guilty about this massive fuck up#Shoko probably thought she was just like the higher ups in that moment and had to stare at a wall#Kugisaki wigging out and shes half fucked in a state of limbo because DAMN that idle transfiguration made her believe she DIED#Anything to win the fight against the king of curses y'know#Nobody really knows about what happened except Shoko. Utahime and Kugisaki herself so. And you know theyre not gonna say anything#youd have better chances talking to a rock#why did i make this? my brain spiraled
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tragicotps · 1 year ago
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Asriel Belacqua + his biggest weakness aka Marisa Coulter
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skunkes · 1 month ago
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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carcarrot · 1 year ago
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'Spark-ling Russ Writes To You': A collection of writings from Russell Mael's weekly column in Mirabelle magazine, 1974, pt. 1 (pt. 2)
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charmac · 11 months ago
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Bit of a (late) long-ass personal post, but this past year has been insanely monumental for me and a lot of it, if not almost all of it, was centered around this silly comedy show.
Starting the year adopting the most perfect cat in the world purely because he looked like Agent Jack Bauer, I've ended up meeting amazing people and making great friendships, both online and in person, I met Glenn and Charlie and MEE and Meg (and Humphrey) and Danny?? got my first tattoo, bought way too much whiskey, and I've just really, genuinely enjoyed my time posting on Tumblr, making shit, and writing fic more than I have in half a decade. It's stupid, and sappy, and probably pretty parasocial, but I owe so many of my best experiences this past year not only to the show, but to joining this community. Because I wouldn't have experienced much of any of this if I hadn't jumped the casual fan on r/IASIP ship and washed up ashore here. And being here has improved my life and my mental health in ways I can't even begin to properly express.
So here's a photo dump of what I have to dub "A Very Sunny 2023":
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To everyone here, thank you for being a part of my 2023. I'm not sure what 2024 has in store, but I'm happy I'll be here, creating and experiencing whatever it is, through and beyond.
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thedrotter · 4 months ago
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
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First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
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Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
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Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
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I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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hermanunworthy · 6 months ago
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im still not over hermies death btw
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bunnyboy-juice · 23 days ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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ghosts-of-love · 1 month ago
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:P
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. ​how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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"I feel like the abuse I went through wasn't bad enough :( I don't even remember it"
Yeah so... are you prepared to hear information that could potentially hurt you
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roychewtoy · 1 year ago
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impaled
#nathan being impaled on that tetanus inducing loose steel pipe. tho tetanus is the least of his worries on account of. well u know 🕳#nathan can be a body horror fans best friend if u let him into ur heart. living human crash dummy#i really cant believe he gets impaled. twice.#hole moment!#love turning nathans immortality round in my head. but healing factor....?#thinkin today about how the video game guy tim threatens to cut one of them in half with a chainsaw and simon is like:#[😐nathan u obviously have to volunteer]#but what woulda actually happened if that followed through [probably why it didnt lol]#would the others have had to drag each severed bit of him back to the community centre and let his guts re fuse#fucking hold him together with gaffer tape and plasters. cause i doubt he coulda regrown a whole half#his 'healing factor' only comes into play when he dies. fresh canvas etch a sketch reboot and all that. hes not fuckin wolverine#all the deaths r: impaled on fence. impaled on pipe. beaten to death. blows his own brains out. falls and snaps his neck#but chainsaw... ? one can ponder. fingers to head i can imagine anything image#readin his wiki rn 'his body will never get sick. rot. age. or truly grow old'#may not get sick but he can still shit his guts out. hashtag oblivious lactose intolerant king hashtag milk drinker#forever the worlds most annoying twenty yr old#and then the wiki goes 'the user does not need to eat drink or breathe' ....hello#ive rotated him not aging any further cause it lines up with the whole stuck in his ways. never changing [kelly voice: its just who u are]#but eatin and drinking and breathing??? we know he still experiences hunger [<-kebab]#and he dunks his head in a bucket of water when hes testin for powers with simon. gaspin for air afterwards right#firm believer in the. he suffocated to death several times in the coffin before they dug him up#oh waaait. is it stating this like. he doesnt need foodwaterair. cause it doesnt matter if he dies.. ohhhhhh..... Oh..😃#staring at nathan sleeping in the community centre surviving on bags of crisps from the vendies so hard i burn holes through my monitor#this got away from me. uh. living crash dummy. oil pastel guts and water colour jumpsuit yessir#having fun doin art. expect more hole art. sorryfor putting this in the misfits tag hehe. not really#gore#blood#misfits#my art#chewtoy
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harvestmoth · 1 year ago
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various snanananas + a bird and one (1) tiny minnow
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