#I NEED. to get this out of my system though bc it was SO SEVERE. got hit w the overwhelming

[moe-broey]

The. (2)

[apollonouta]

Gave him the boot

Ended it with my fwb today bc the steady realization i have been in love with my ex best friend who i blocked and ghosted a year ago is too much for me to bear, even tho Johnathan was going to be a lot of fun bc he was into the exact same kinks as me in the exact same way and matched my freak to an eerie degree

So im gonna just kinda settle into maybe becoming one of those professional yeaners who still pine over their homoerotic object of affection like 70 years later. Wish me luck, I might become a published poet in like 5 years if i can channel whatever this is constructively!

[gothhabiba]

@ anon

I think it might be actually dangerous to publish your ask, but I'm sure from my response people will be able to tell what it's about anyway.

You're full of actual, absolute shit if you're pretending not to know by now that verification processes to ensure the legitimacy of Ghazzawin's fundraisers have been undertaken, and that details about what these processes entail have been shared by several people. Several people, some of them currently in Gaza, put themselves through countless hours of work video-calling people, judging their knowledge of dialectical Arabic, seeing their faces and their children's faces and their living conditions, seeing IDs and bank information, asking invasive, personal questions that they didn't want to be asking & that the people responding probably didn't want to be answering, and physically visiting people in Gaza and video-recording their interactions, just so that people like you could be sure that these fundraisers were legitimate. If you're ignoring all of the blood & tears that went into that process just so you can hand-wring about scams, no one needs to be concerned with convincing you of the legitimacy of anything, because you were never going to donate to these people anyway. You are just looking for any plausible-sounding excuse not to do what you already didn't want to do.

If, by some miracle, you actually didn't know about the verified fundraiser spreadsheet (which is frankly still blameable bc, where on earth have you been?), then there it is. The post of mine that you're referring to never even mentioned responding to asks; using this spreadsheet is an absolutely valid, reasonable way of donating directly to families.

Now let me treat some of your statements as though they were questions (which, they were not).

How do people in Gaza have internet access?

Internet infrastructure in Gaza is very robust (e.g. in what cables are made of, how deep they're buried, amounts of redundancy in the system, &c.) because they have been getting bombed by Israel all the fucking time for decades, so they expect this infrastructure to be put through a lot. There have still--if you've been following the situation at all--been several outages caused by damage that Ghazzawin have needed to repair. Though I do have to say that I find it odd that you doubt Ghazzawin have internet access, but also say that you buy eSims...?

A lot of people right now are indeed connected via eSim, which to my understanding only need to connect to wifi once, right when they're activated. People put themselves at risk to connect to eSims because they need to get a good wifi signal, which usually means walking for several miles trying to find high ground. One of my contacts once urgently called me (this is the only time he hadn't just texted) because he had been told his friend had found a signal and so they needed an eSim right then, before they went back to their tent.

I've been trying for some time to connect another of my contacts in Gaza to an eSim, but we're not having success. At Crips for eSims for Gaza they / we (I'm on the server getting advice and helping out but I'm not using their funding; I'm using what people on tumblr have given me to purchase eSims with) keep a constantly updated sheet of which eSim providers use which networks and which networks work in which areas--because the situation is constantly changing. Because my contact doesn't have an eSim on a personal phone, she has to go to a central location to be allotted three hours of internet access from someone who has managed to get connected. Lots of people, on their fundraising posts and pages, specify exactly how they've gotten internet access, how difficult it's been for them to get it, and how stressful it is to be relying on this tenuous connection, spending hours away from their families (at high risk of being shot at by IOF soldiers the whole time), just to message people for hours straight and then go home again.

2. How do people in Gaza have tumblr accounts?

This is a stupid question. Anyone with an email address who is capable of picking a username and password can make a tumblr account. I have personally helped several of my contacts in Gaza with the process.

3. How do people in Gaza know to come into people's tumblr accounts?

This is also a stupid question. I don't really see how you could ask this question if you saw Palestinians as, like, real humans beings. You understand that people talk to each other, yes? Like with words? As soon as a few people had success fundraising to evacuate Gaza on tumblr (nearly a year ago... this news has had a lot of time to spread), obviously they told other people about it.

One of the ways that Israel conducts its genocidal war is through the destructiveness of frustration and boredom. It's a strange situation because everything is extremely dire, urgent, terrifying, and dirty, but there's also seldom anything to do. People are singing, telling stories, going to the beach, inventing games and contests, to entertain children, but also to entertain themselves. And this is the situation--with a bunch of desperate, bored people packed into a tiny piece of land--this is the situation that you think it's impossible for people to talk to each other in? Come on.

If you want to donate to Anera and World Food Kitchen and buy eSims, that's fantastic. Please do that. But if you are as ignorant of the particulars of what this situation is like as your ask makes you appear, then I hope you refrain from speaking on what the situation is like.

I've been nattering on for a long time so here's my call to action:

Decide what you're capable of giving right now, or the next time you get paid

Scroll down on the vetted fundraiser spreadsheet and find someone very low on funds, or with injured children who urgently need treatment or evacuation, and give that money.

AND / OR give it to the PCRF or the IRW

[vees-scribbles]

When They're Sick

Ever since I did the post about Bo and Vincent with a sick S/O I've wanted to do how the characters act when sick so. Enjoy.

CW: Murder mention, drug mention, very brief sex mention

Characters: Luigi Largo, Amber Sweet, Blind Mag, Nathan Wallace, Otis Driftwood, Baby Firefly, RJ Firefly, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair

Luigi Largo

Doesn't get sick very often

The Luigi in my brain does not like germs

And was also a sickly ass child

So he's very careful about illness

Insists that when he IS sick, he's very manly about it

I do think he'd push through a headache or some small symptom (though several GENterns do not make it through, such is life)

But when he gets sick sick?

Oh BROTHER

Man baby alert clean up aisle GeneCo

Very grumpy and insisting this is the WORST ailment in the history of ailments

He has the common cold

Demands nursing but is a pain in the ass about it

No he doesn't need you to feed him soup but since you're already here...

I don't think he'd let many people see him like that tbh

Which mostly just means that as his partner you should be prepared to handle the brunt of it

Good luck catching it!

Amber Sweet

Probably doesn't know she's sick tbh

She's lounging about high off her ass

Nothing is different from a normal day

Does need pampering but it's the normal amount

Tbh I think she's toughing it out better than Luigi

I don't think she's often sick either

If you ask she'll tell you she can't remember the last time she was sick

Could have the bubonic plague and be treating it like mere allergies

This one is short uhhhh Amber Sweet is more of a badass than she gets credit for pass it on

Blind Mag

Sick the normal amount for a person

Very graceful about it

Like she feels like shit but she's not really mean

Does take a day or two to recuperate

Bring her soup but she's going to worry about you catching it

Not very chatty, because she doesn't want to risk her vocal chords

Might take some convincing but yes, she would like some cuddles

Reciprocates if/when you catch it

Or if you're sick at all

Remember when ppl really wanted tuberculosis bc they thought it was romantic? Mag embodies that

She has the flu but she still manages to look stunning all pale and sickly

The author's barely disguised love for Mag

Nathan Wallace

I KNOW I DON'T LIKE HIM BUT

In his defense

He's a parent

He is absolutely trucking through it

Unless he is literally unable to stand he's not acknowledging that he's sick

"But Vee, isn't he a doctor?" That doesn't mean he follows his own advice

Gets through cold with a pack of cough drops and a prayer

Any partner of his would have to really wrestle to get him to take a break

I think how often he gets sick directly correlates to Shiloh's age

Little children are illness machines

Toddler Shiloh definitely wreaked havoc on that man's immune system

"She was locked away from the world how would she get sick" Never underestimate a toddler's ability to bring sickness upon a household

Otis Driftwood

Never sick

That guy has an immune system of STEEL

Bacteria tell their children about him to keep them from misbehaving

Otis Driftwood is a germ

BUT IF HE WAS

He's not admitting it

He is acting it

On his death bed talking about 'I'm fine'

Does still get pissy if you don't dote on him

Another guy you have to just accept catching the illness from

Still trying to fuck

Don't get too tender about it or he'll be mean

He'll be mean either way actually

Baby Firefly

I don't think she's sick a lot either

She's subjected to just as many germs as Otis

Fairly normal? For her anyway

She wants your attention about it

But she's not mean like Otis

Will admit that she's sick and just go lay down

But she wants you to come cuddle her

I'm getting very 'sick day when you were a kid' vibes

Watching TV and drinking 7-Up kinda deal

Like she's not exactly stoic but she's not being a giant baby

Naps through it

Still cracking jokes when she is awake

Generally not a bad time

RJ Firefly

See Otis and Baby

Stoic

He's everything Otis thinks he's being

He clears his throat like. Double the amount he usually does

Probably you have no clue he's sick until you get sick

Then he's like "oh my bad"

Doesn't actually say it like that

I don't have much to say here

I want to nurse him back to health

He would never let me

Someone write a fic where he's sick and someone takes care of him

Bo Sinclair

Sick an average amount I imagine

Probably has allergies real bad

Like anyone in the US South I feel

MAN BABY MAN BABY

On his death bed with the common cold poor thing

Very resistant to any kind of help

"I don't need you babyin' me"

Yes he does

Keep at it long enough and he will give in I feel

This guy has mommy issues in his deepest darkest heart of hearts he wants to be taken care of

He just also has daddy issues and will refuse to accept being taken care of

He didn't know you were supposed to dilute those cans of soup with water

You can change his life with a single can of Campbell's chicken noodle prepared correctly

Another guy who tries to get horny with it

Less aggressive about it than Otis

Because he really just wants to take a nap

Lowkey annoyed when you inevitably catch it

Vincent Sinclair

Also sick a normal amount

What can I say the Sinclairs fall pretty close to the 'just a normal ass guy' end of the Guy to Freak spectrum for me

Less of a man baby

Will admit that he's sick, but is also capable of realizing a sniffle won't kill him

Will BECOME a man baby if you're not very, very careful

Open to being taken care of

Probably really sweet if you bring him something, squeezing your hand or kissing your fingers

But if you're too good at it he starts milking it a little

He's like a cat when they learn you give them extra attention when they limp a little and suddenly they have a mysterious injured paw

Let him tbh he deserves it

You down for fever cuddles? Better get down with them

[beneathsilverstars]

been doing research on writing plural systems for sif+loop in mundane modern aus, and i think i've got a solid idea of what i want to do! specifics may vary by au but i wanted a base set of headcanons to vary from, so sif+loop being a system can be a background fact of my au musings instead of something i have to reinvent every time.

(i'm a singlet so if any systems have concrit or thoughts they want to share i'd be happy to hear it! i'm not like planning a fic or anything currently, but it's still nice to not be working off of misconceptions for my silly little posts.)

siffrin took over as the main host in their late teens and doesn't remember anything from before that. in their early-mid 20s their work/housing situation was horrible and when they couldn't take another day like that, siffrin split into loop (who kept the mid 20s memories, with a new personality) and siffrin take two (who remembers the 17-20 era a bit better, but then there's a big gap). between the two of them they were able to cope better and hold a not-as-awful job and get a shitty apartment all to themselves!

siffrin fronts more often on average, because they're better at quietly accomplishing day-to-day tasks. but if he gets too overwhelmed or anxious (think their mini loop-backs in canon) then loop takes over, bc loop dgaf about some of the things siffrin worries about, and doesn't shut down as easily. but since they don't bottle up their feelings as severely, they're more likely to react outwardly and make rash choices like quitting their job, being rude, splurging on little treats, etc. so that's why siffrin is the default fronter for things like work and chores, when he's feeling up to it.

loop is fairly aware of what's going on while siffrin is fronting - sometimes they choose to tune more of it out, but they can catch most of it if they want to, and sometimes siffrin will talk to them or nudge them to pay attention. since they know at least the basics of what siffrin was up to, they can usually step in pretty smoothly when they need to take over! and it's very easy for them to take over, with or without siffrin's say-so, though they try to ask if it's not an emergency (and if it is an emergency, siffrin is likely trying to back away from the front anyway).

when loop is fronting, though, siffrin is entirely away, dreaming in the void. loop can nudge them for a vague opinion or relevant memory, but they can't hold a full conversation and they're not aware of what loop's doing. when loop puts them in the front again they're usually disoriented and need a moment for loop to tell them what's been happening. and again, loop is the one deciding to switch; sometimes siffrin might resist getting pulled back if they're still feeling bad, or get antsy and start reaching out if they've been asleep a while or are having bad dreams, but they're not gonna react to environmental situations since they're not aware of them.

mal is in there too but doesn't front. its role is to be socially hyper-vigilant, pointing out when other people might be upset at them so the alter who's fronting knows to fix it or avoid the person. it's been around longer than siffrin, and was helpful way back then, but now that siffrin and loop have worked out an effective balance and are fairly safe, mal's behavior is somewhat maladaptive (ha!). it's not super directly aware of the outside world like loop is, not anymore at least, but it does get secondhand memories from both siffrin and loop. it actually sometimes remembers facts and details that sif and loop both quickly forgot, because maybe those details will end up relevant to spotting and avoiding future problems - but since it got the memories secondhand and filtered them through a particularly paranoid worldview, it's likely to misremember subjective interpretations as literal truth, so you gotta take its claims with a grain of salt.

it mostly hangs out in the void imagining fractals and whatnot these days, keeping an eye on siffrin while they sleep. it occasionally perks up and chimes in with its pessimistic point of view when siffrin is really upset - it can communicate better with sleeping siffrin than loop can. loop is not on speaking terms with it because they're mad that it goes behind loop's back and makes siffrin more upset right when loop is trying to shield him from the upsetting situation. but siffrin doesn't mind it bc it's just trying to help in its own way, and sometimes it is helpful to face their fears in plain words instead of avoiding them. and siffrin will sometimes ask it for help with like, puzzles, because it's good at pattern recognition.

there's also a no-longer-quite-dormant alter that presumably fronted for much of the body's childhood. they don't hang out in siffrin and mal's void, and they don't talk to anyone else within the system. but now that the system is more safe and stable, every once in a while something will catch their attention and they'll gently push to the front and start talking. as soon as their train of thought is interrupted they're gone again, and the other alters don't even remember that they got usurped for a moment, a la siffrin's bits of telling childhood anecdotes in canon. loop and siffrin have surmised that they exist, and call them the lost one.

mal has also implied that there's at least one more dormant alter, but it's from before siffrin-and-loop's time and possibly mal's as well.

if something happens that's so distressing that siffrin retreats into headspace and loop won't take over either, the body goes into dissociated autopilot. it will follow basic one-step instructions (such as "follow me" or "eat this"), speak in a couple simple scripts (such as answering "how are you" with "i'm fine"), and complete rote tasks such as taking a familiar route home from work or going to bed. loop doesn't pay much attention because that would defeat the point / put them back in front, so they usually have very little if any idea of what happened in this state, but it is possible for outside events to catch their attention enough for them to try fronting again. otherwise they'll be back next time the body wakes up. siffrin, on the other hand, usually won't front for at least a day or two after this happens, and will likely have forgotten the events leading up to it as well.

it doesn't happen very often since it's the very last resort, after siffrin dissociating, loop taking over, and loop dissociating. loop and siffrin don't consider the autopilot an alter because it doesn't form memories, have emotions or opinions, or interact in the headspace; it just follows where it's led, by habit or outside influence. loop has argued in favor of trying to imbue it with more personhood so it's less uncanny for other people to interact with and can get loop's attention when the distressing thing is over, but siffrin argues that if it can think that defeats the point, and they'd just end up with this new alter and a new autopilot.

past all that, the specifics will depend on the exact au; particularly the ratio of loop time to siffrin time will depend on how much siffrin works and how awful their job is, whether siffrin and/or loop have friends yet, etc. but i think when they're doing pretty well they'd be happy with siffrin doing work/chores and most of the activities that they both enjoy (since then they'll both remember it), and loop fronting for maybe a third of their free time to do their own thing, and maybe here and there if something goes wrong at work. and then if siffrin starts feeling burnt out, they swap for a couple days of loop doing most things and siffrin just coming out for an hour or two. siffrin and mal probably talk maybe a couple times a month, unless siffrin is really going through it, in which case they might talk a lot for a couple days. it also might be possible for mal to eventually adapt a little more to being safe, and start providing a wider range of possible interpretations instead of just the worst case scenario.

ok that's all! and as i said, i'm totally open to feedback. :3

[capsgirl19]

Alright boys, Jesus Christ, I spent several hours in a Wikipedia hole learning about Doflamingo's boat, Spanish literature, and the Roman Empire and I think I might've unraveled a fair chunk of the plot inspiration for Dressrosa? Good lord.

So it all started in my local East Asian imports store. I was browsing their models, fruitlessly hunting for more Slowpoke kits, when I noticed they had a bunch of One Piece ship model kits. Super cool, pretty big selection, so I decided to see if they had Doffy's ship online. Well, they don't. Sad life, but I said "it's fine, we see it for all of like 10 seconds, I don't think that ship even has a name. And I'm super not bitter that Garp's warship (called 'Garp's Warship' on the model kit bc that one is actually unnamed) was included while my man's was not." And then I figured I should look up whether Doflamingo's ship has a name, which it apparently does. The Numancia Flamingo.

Well I get the flamingo part, but what the hell is Numancia? In the trivia on the wiki page, it says it may be named after the Spanish battle ship Numancia, so now I'm on that Wikipedia page. The Spanish ship was the first warship to circumnavigate the globe. Cool, but that's fucking nothing with regard to what really matters, One Piece lore. So it's time to go and look at the list of other ships named Numancia, because apparently this is not a one-off for Spain.

According to the list page, these ships are all named in honor of the Siege of Numantia, an old city near modern-day Soria. Numantia (Numancia is the Spanish spelling) was a Celtiberian settlement in 134 BC, at which time Rome decided that it would actually very much like for Numantia to be a Roman settlement, and in keeping with this sent out some guys to really just beat the hell out of those Celtiberians once and for all. Now, Numantia was a fort on a hill, so the plan was to do a siege, which worked. Attempts to break the siege were unsuccessful, and the city attempted to negotiate surrender under the condition that they wouldn't be enslaved. The Romans refused this offer. There was mass suicide, followed by the remaining populace burning the city to ashes before surrendering unconditionally to the Romans.

Alright, interesting, so this is picking up. It's not like One Piece doesn't have stuff named after random ass battles, but they're typically naval battles and the Siege of Numantia is pretty definitively a land-based conflict. I guess it can't hurt to check the "legacy" section.

Oh, that's cool, there's a Spanish play about it! Some scholars think it's the best Spanish tragedy of all time! El Cerco de Numancia. It's by--

It's by Miguel de Cervantes. Best known for his authorship of Don Quixote. Fucking hell.

Right. Cool, cool, cool. How does the play differ from the real life Siege of Numantia? Well, for one we're going to need main characters to anchor us to the story. This means adding a central romance between a soldier (Marandro) and a woman who lives in the city (Lira). Their marriage has been arranged by Lira's father, but postponed due to the war. Their storyline ends with Marandro entering enemy territory to steal bread for Lira, but succumbing to his wounds shortly after bringing it to her.

There's also the matter of Doflamingo's appearance. If you look up who he's based on, you'll get a lot of results about French musician Michel Polnareff. I can definitely see the sense of style and general coloring from this, but from the neck up they kind of look nothing alike, save sunglasses and blond hair. There's somebody else that Doffy's always reminded me of though, the shape of the nose, set of the cheekbones, the damn hairline...

Yeah, guy's a dead ringer for Julius Caesar, the face of the Roman Empire. I don't think this is a stretch, the dude literally showed up and immediately installed a to-the-death gladitorial system of enslaved prisoners in a pre-existing coloseum, it's clear Rome was an influence on the plotline.

Oda strikes a balance between the nobility of tragedy and the messy human reality of war. In the Cervantes play, every inhabitant of Numantia dies before surrendering to enslavement. Many of them gracefully succumb to starvation. The very gods of their land weep for their sacrifice. In reality, the residents of Numantia engaged in cannibalism (as one might expect of a slowly starving populace). Many of them died, but several thousand surrendered to become Roman slaves.

As he often does, Oda finds a middle ground between humanity and humanist ideals. Initially, I wondered if it was all in the name of his ship, all wrapped up before he even makes it to the New World: ultimately, Doflamingo is going to fail because the people of Dressrosa will die before willingly submitting to enslavement. But I think it's not quite so simple as that. Certainly, he's deposed in the end. Justice prevails, as it were. But it's hard to argue that a man who ruled a country for a decade, getting everything he wanted and enslaving half its populace, failed. Furthermore, the people are not noble after this ends. They're angry and afraid and they act in ways that hurt the people trying to free them and by extension their own self-interest.

We all know how Dressrosa ends, but I'm more in love with how unafraid of people One Piece is. How it depicts our flaws with sympathy even as it insists that people want to be good and usually just need a little encouragement.

Oh shit I've wandered off into misty-eyed anarchist sentiments about the inherent goodness of humanity again, this happens all the time, my point is: I TRACKED DOWN AND READ A SPANISH PLAY FOR THIS! THIS BASTARD HAS MADE ME A FULLER AND MORE CULTURED PERSON AGAIN! GODDAMN IT!

[ganondoodle]

been trying to do some pixel art bc after putting another 60+ hours into stardew valley the want to make a stardew like game but *my* way is strong again ... but i keep getting hung up on thinking about game mechanics (screenshot at the bottom .. sorry for makign this so long again ..)

at some point i thought the whole minecraft aspect is probably impossible to add into a 2d pixel game and im better off to cut that idea out of my head and instead make a dedicated area in which you can build stuff more costumizable and make the rest a more static thing id built so the worlds have more character and theres less problems with NPC pathing (since i dont want you to be able to escape Eadryas wrath if you overstay your welcome by building yourself into a circle or collision boxes .... though they would destroy anything in their path to you either way.. still)

but then i still want you to be able to change the ground in your little area (or maybe multiple ... idk im still conflicted bc i like the idea of finding a place and building your lil hut there ... unless i make it so you can build a hut anywhere but change the ground tiles only in certain areas ... ) and build little ponds and stuff ... so im back to the minecraft in 2d problem

i keep getting into these thinking spirals bc i dont want to draw all those sprites if im gonna scrap it all again anyway

the main point with this little ...... well, lets call it fantasy bc im not confident this 'project' will fare any better than any of my other projects (im a never finished a single project and keeps being haunted by it kind of guy and i hate it)

- is that i want a 2d game somewhat similar to stardew but set in my original story world and focused on the environment and nature, not on earning money, an intricate weather system and no time limit on your day, the twist being you are an ex-demon hunter and are on probation to prove you really abandoned the cause, given shelter and a place to stay in the demon world within the protective bubbles around gates into the human realm (bc humans cannot live in the normal environment of the demon world- this is an already long established thing but works extremely well to limit the space you are able to go in a game without making the world feel tiny plus allows me to give you several different environment designs bc those are gates and bubbles in different parts of the demon world) your task being to help clean up the poisoned land the celestials had caused and repopulating these parts with plants etc. ... there is a tracker that lets you know how well or bad it is doing and if you only destroy instead of restore (like chopping down all trees without planting new ones) you will be given warnings until Eadrya shows up and kills you since you are clearly still working to destroy their lands after all

i still really like this idea but im really doubtful it will go anywhere since i am so slow, need to learn at least two complicated new things (coding, music making) and already have so many things i want to do but never really .. do, the task is just too daunting and it keeps me from just having fun drawing pixel art bc i cant stop (over)thinking about mechanics

(see this is what i mean my brain just cant stop, it just keeps going and it keeps making me spiral into these thinking loops that prevent me from actually doing anything )

this is the same file i have been randomly doodling sprites on since april (by far not the only one, but the current one of multiple sprite tests i keep updating or changing)

(i appreciate feedback or thoughts on this alot, its a little fantasy that i keep comign back to, all my attempts to throw it out of my head in hopes of clearing up some space have failed no matter how little hope i have of making it a reality ..)

[snuuyfanged]

i haven't dropped art in a bit so here's some various sketches i haven't shared of some of my cassette beasts ocs that i haven't talked about much or at all yet

i yap a bit more about 'em underneath the cut :3

first guy has a name now btw his name is collin! he's pathetic i want to push him down a staircase like a damn slinky /aff

he's an ex-landkeeper that sunny met when he was getting his ass beat by the local wildlife and she. Tried her best to help him adapt to not being a landkeeper any more but his ass struggled and they just ended up fighting a lot until he just left harbourtown after one particularly bad fight </3 he proceeded to get his ass beat more by local wildlife until he stumbled into mourningtown and eventually got better . he and sunny are chill by then and also he may or may not hold hands with jacqueline

fortune is mostly for my mrd au, but i play with putting her in my personal canon bc her beef with sunny is. really fucking funny to me. coworkers who used to be at war with one another before mammon even turned both of them into landkeepers and the beef continued afterwards. dynamic of "do you think we're petty coworkers in every universe <33"

but basically she got promoted and helps recruit more landkeepers up until mammon's defeat <3 after that she's just generally very bitter and spiteful, probably does Something during the 1.8 stuff ngl but after that she's mostly gotten the bitterness out of her system and can maintain a conversation with sunny that Doesn't immediately turn into a fight. mostly (she and sunny would still fight in a waffle house though)

qik-11 is the player character for the randomizer i'm streaming to my friends, i let them vote on their name and appearance (i'm surprised the name is even pronounceable considering i allowed 1 as an option /lh). also yes there were several glass types just everywhere it was miserable considering we had beast type melee attacker kittelly as the starter and kayleigh had a lightning khepri

(i need to draw them more at least with each of the partner characters)

[mercars-musings]

Rate Your OC Traits

Tysm for the tag @redheadsramblings & @sunny374940! I so appreciate the amount of times youse both give me opportunities to yap about my boy hehe

Tis Az Mercar again! <3

Compassion: 7/10 — He DEFINITELY leads with compassion more often than not but tbh it TRULY depends who you are. Another random person? Sure, he'll try compassion. Someone he dislikes like a Magister, a Venatori, Solas, or another prick who would rather get their own while others suffer? Yeah fuck you, swift kick to the face if you don't get out his way. ~ Bitterness: 5/10 — Depends when you catch him, this bitch has so much trauma and is filled with a quietly bubbling rage just under the surface, but is also AMAZING at compartmentalising and bottling his feelings up. :') ~

Happiness: pre-veilguard 5/10— Work was his entire life, he barely went out and only ever did hook ups. He did NOT want to deal with romance ever again and genuinely never saw himself with a future past probably dying to stop some asshole magisters.

Happiness: post-veilguard 8/10 — He's got a wonderful husband, a surprise skeleton son and finally got the Dock Town Doggo thats always barking to come live with him. He's still traumatized and is dealing with a lot BUT he finally sees a future where he's happy and with those he loves. ~

Chivalry: 3/10 — Ehhhh, he does do romantic stuff don't get me wrong, but if he's ever being "chivalirous" it's most likely in a silly teasing way to make Em smile! ~

Pride: 5/10 — It's kind of a middle ground. He's proud of what he's accomplished as a Shadow Dragon & he's proud that he was able to stop the Elven Gods & keep {most of} his loved ones alive. But deep down he's still the weird kid that was severely bullied & had the only person who was ever proud of him killed before he could ever figure out how to be proud of himself. That shit kind of fucks up your self worth. ~

Honesty: 7/10 — So, yes & no. He will be truthful to a point. He never lies to Em or his close friends on anything important. BUT he will lie about how he's feeling to avoid an awkward situation or to keep people from worrying about him. He will also lie to assholes & omit certain info to non family / friends on missions if it gets him what he needs / opens the right doors bc well duh. ~

Bravery: 8/10 — He's a proper chicken shit at heart but he WILL do what is right & will do it with a brave face while he's internally SCREAMING in a panic lmfao. ~

Recklessness: 7/10 — He DOES prefer to think things true but sometimes his moral compass is a liiiiittle too strong and prompts him to act first, do damage control later. There is a reason the Shadows sent him to work with Varric for a while after all! ~

Ambition: 4/10 — He doesn't really care for titles or anything of the sort. He just wants to help people and fuck over as many magisters and Venatori he can along the way lmao. If a title helps him do that though, he may consider trying to achieve it! ~

Loyalty: 10/10 — Look this bitch commits HARD okay? He spent so long without a support system that he just didn't care for long but NOW? Now, he has something. He has a family in the Veilguard, Siblings in Taash & Davrin, a Partner in Emmrich & a son in Manfred & daughter in Hissera. He's had a taste of what he's always been after, finally and by the Gods he will die for it & to keep them safe if he has to. ~

Love: 10/10 — As someone who tried so desperately to shut that part of himself off for a long time... his hopeless romantic ass & his desire for family has kind of come back in full force and he will do anything for his loved ones. ~

Sense of family: pre-veilguard 3/10 — Desperate for one but with a mum who never wanted kids and a dad who loved him but was away from home constantly. He never really felt it in a meaningful way. Sense of family: post-veilguard 9/10 — He still has his scars and MANY hang ups around the topic of family. But, he definitely understands a lot more now and absolutely loves the little family he found / made. ~

Attractiveness: 10/10 — I personally think this dude is pretty as fuck. Is his appearance a self insert of how I want to look in the DA universe? Yes, which I think explains my answer bc I WANT TO LOOK PRETTY lmfao. If you ask him he'd just shrug, Emmrich agrees with me though, he's hot and pretty af. ~

Agility: 7/10 — He's agile enough. He's a mage and does close quarter combat and is great at it. But also don't ask him to do anything toooo physically demanding in his off time, his bones hurt lmfao. ~

Sex drive: 8/10 — Pretty healthy amount tbh. He really likes sex, ESPECIALLY with Emmrich. But also sometimes would just rather cuddle with his necromancer and read. :3 ~

No Pressure Taggies! : @thedissonantverses ; @andthekitchensinkao3 ; @ofcrowsanddragons ; @caughtnyact ; @hyperions-light & literally anyone else who sees this and wants in! <3

[yume-writes]

Sorry if you're busy, I hope I didn't become a bother for the multiple asks, but here's what Happened during and After the Wedding Fiasco, in Optimus Pov of course. Sorry if it's another Megop or Opmeg centric. I'm addicted to their Divorce relationship and Breakup, Making It Everyone's Problem!

As Optimus Took a glance at Megatron who initiated the situation with Starscream's idea. (The Decepticons all glared at Starscream during this with faces telling they wanted this to be over soon and potentially beat the seeker up). Besides him was Blue Cop who was unfortunately to become Megatron's Victim of Delusions™ alongside Him. (Poor bot), Optimus glance then turns back to Megatron in Pity but in his own eyes, there's a hidden spark that should've been buried from when he was just a simple clerk, reading all of Megatron's Writing and poetry who admired the young clerk long ago... It was LONGING... Despite everything he and the Decepticons have gone against Cybertron, the Autobots, and Everyone including the Metal Cardbots. He couldn't dare to hate someone who was once a Gladiator, a Revolutionary, and Inspiration, and a Friend...

He wouldn't admit these feelings towards him right now, especially Blue cop besides him who's Panicking and trying to rattle his way out. Optimus couldn't blame Megatron's behaviour for slowly losing who he once was, that even went as far as Kidnapping Blue cop to make him the next Pax to his Spark. Maybe in another timeline where they could be friends once again or even more... But, This wasn't what Optimus wanted it to be...

(Also, Imagine Megatron wearing Equivalent to a Cybertronian Wedding dress, Here's the Post I saw I followed, I can't stop thinking about it not only does it show how far he's fallen, it also parallels my interpretation of a bride who got stood up from her wedding. And it suits Beautiful on Him!)

MCB x TFP crossover

No, no! You didn't bother me! I'm happy about the asks. I just get bouts of extreme motivation and then lose that motivation, I'm more than happy to continue answering asks!

And, god, Optimus still having longing in his spark drives me insane! After everything he went through, after all the gore and war he saw, after what Megatron did to Bumblebee, he still longs for Megatron.

How could he not?

He still remembers how he used to be. That bot who had so many optimistic ideas on how to change the system, on how to make life better for the lower castes. The one who would write poetry just for Orion. He's gone, Optimus knows this, but he just can't let go of that

Even after the latest events with Blue Cop, he understands why. He understands why Megatron does this, that understanding sits heavy in his tanks. If only, oh! If only things were different for them. If only everything worked out in their favor. How would they be then? They would be together

He lost Megatronus, and now he's losing Megatron. He doesn't know what will happen if he loses him. Sometimes, sometimes, a traitorous part of him wants to stay, but he can't. His team, the humans, the cardbots, and especially Blue Cop need him. So even though it hurts, he leaves once again

Also I love the picture of Megs in a wedding dress, he looks amazing, but imagine what it would look like after the fight. It would be torn in several places, some parts ripped off entirely, energon would be splattered on it, and dirt, smoke, and dust would dirty it. He's not only a bride who got stood up at her wedding, he's a vengeful one

(Also should we make a ship name for the blue Cop and Megatron ship, and the OP, Megs, and BC ship? Like I know they were crack ships, but by this point they've been fleshed out a bit and I want something to tag these ship posts with something for organization purposes)

[ngage2003]

✰ Some of Gage's Tim Wright DID Headcanons/Ideas (DIDeas, hey get it?)

Ok so I have talked a fair bit on my blog about Tim being a system, but I wanted to make a post real quick talking about several ideas I have around his systemhood bc I am going crazy and need to share them.

✦ Hey! If you like this and want to hear more about my Tim system stuff, check out my tag #ng.systim.

Alright, so I think a lot of/most of Tim's system has been around for a very long time, as in he doesn't split too often. Usually when they do, parts end up getting reabsorbed, leading to a very small system count that the active parts are aware of.

(Of course, there are always some parts hiding in headspace/the subconscious, but they're impossible to find unless they want to be.)

I think Tim's system doesn't have a headspace in the stereotypical sense, and generally when they're not fronting, it is sort of like they're asleep, though I think people like Masky would object to that characterization because he doesn't ever really sleep/dream. Usually when he goes to bed, Tim wakes up.

✱ Speaking of "Masky"! I have talked about this a couple times but I think he would end up going by the name "Angel" after hearing about the concept of Guardian Angels, as that is literally what he is to Tim. I also see him as a sort of "Protector" archetype, having formed probably around the same time that Tim did as a young child and acting to take on dealing with the trauma for him.

I think Masky's femininity comes from the fact that they (the system as a whole) as a young child idolized their mother as this protective force, this bulwark that was impenetrable and fierce and powerful. They tied all that to her femininity to some extent, and when Masky formed, they were feminine because that was what they associated with strength and protection.

I think Tim and Masky are somewhat equals though, but Masky is also deeply in love with Tim in the way only a protector alter can be. "My purpose is to keep you safe and I love you for it." It is this genuine deep affection, and I think if Tim were to discover Masky, there could be some proper feelings returned eventually after the initial scare.

"Ok but if Masky loves Tim so much why does he work with Brian and get their leg broken??"

Well, I think Brian was both of their first best friend. Whenever Tim was overstimulated and/or scared, whether that be by people or an upcoming final, Masky would front. Brian obviously didn't know this and was just like, "huh wow my buddy Tim is being weird and quiet!" And his kindness left a profound effect on Masky.

Early in Marble Hornets, Masky visits Brian's house regularly despite him being long gone, locking it when he isn't there. Yeah it is a mess, but its being watched over.

I think Brian approached him after Jay got the tapes to ask for his help. I think before then, Brian was in hiding but this isn't a post about him. I think despite being a protector, Masky agreed to help Brian because of how kind he was to him, a mistake he later fully rescinds when Brian causes Tim to have a seizure.

Masky deeply regrets this, and is in turmoil after it for the rest pf the series, leading to their spotty fronting besides protecting Tim in Entry 65 after once again being triggered out by seizures.

Ok that is enough rehashing of other older points lets talk about the idea of— ✱ Other Parts

I think its very possible that Tim at least has a little alter. I haven't given it too much thought, but I think there is stuff hidden around their living space for the little¹, crayons and pencils and spare papers, these doodles hidden under the bed. I also think they have a stuffed animal from when Tim was a kid at one, something Tim keeps meaning to throw out but always ends up back in bed.

[1] An alter/part that earnestly believes they are and acts younger than the body. They aren't real kids but often will experience distress at being reminded of that or not treated like a kid, and generally will struggle with emotional reasoning or processing stuff, as a child might. Often they're the most protected members of a system.

I think there is probably several points where they accidentally front in front of other people, but Tim's little is very anxious and quiet, leading to them being undetected.

I could honestly see them fronting while Tim and Jay are living at motels for that brief period of time, and Jay just being confused why Tim suddenly got emotional and started crying a bit and not communicating. (The little doesn't have their plush and is upset.)

Jay ends up sitting with him and rubbing his back, and it feels like such a crazy thing to do with Tim of all people—stalwart, endlessly brave Tim—but Jay does it, and it helps.

I think Jay doesn't mention it tomorrow because he doesn't want to upset/embarrass Tim and quite obviously, Tim doesn't remember.

I think Tim's childhood stuffed animal is a dog of some kind, and he simply forgot to bring it.

Alsooo I do not think Tim's system really has introjects²? (I say this mostly because I don't know what the fuck media they'd be from lmao.) But I do think there is an alter which holds more of the musical talent between them all. Not all of it, but they just remember more. I think they also know how to play piano along with ukulele and if given the chance they'd love to make little ditties to impress people.

[2] Alters whose personalities are based off of an interpretation of a character held by another specific alter or the general subconscious. Sometimes they think of themselves literally as the character but not always.

I don't have a name for them, as I don't really either for the little, but this bard I think would enjoy dressing a bit more colorful than Tim usually does.

Also could see them having a very aggressive persecutor³-trauma holder alter who split off of Masky during when they were in the hospital. Generally I think Masky was even more aggressive during this time due to his system feeling so threatened and dehumanized and him feeling powerless to protect/take care of them, and it resulted in a very harsh split after Masky lit the fire in the hospital to escape. This led to them "chilling out" a bit for college, but also a very aggressive persecutor who lurks in the back of their mind.

[3] Put it simply, a protector who doesn't know how to be a protector. Persecutors are often very angry about the trauma and very hurt, leading to them lashing out and trying to reenact trauma or push people away or whatever. They tend to be very emotional and hurt, and its important to empathize with them as a way to help them heal. Unfortunately no one in systim has done this yet.

I think their appearance in headspace would almost be sort of fiery/charred, this representation of retribution and anger that lashes out when anyone gets close. I could see them also having a mask since they split off from Masky, and were this product of futile rage that developed into something new! Though also obviously their mask would look a bit different. I dunno, that'd be fun.

(For us, if alters split off from one another like that, like if they're a part of that alter which splits off or a specific trauma, they will often look to some degree similar!)

I think they would very rarely front, at least on their own. Masky would be very cautious about that, and about them hurting the body or other people by lashing out. Because even when Masky is helping Brian or angry, he usually still has somewhat enough of a mind to be careful and deep down his main priority is Tim. (Though he doesn't always behave wisely/good and we loveeee a flawed protector 😁)

Anyway yeah those are my main thoughts I am a bit tired rn lol I might rb this with more later I hope you enjoyeddd

[alexthedeadguy]

How I think the bat family would study (because GCSEs are soon…)

Tim: organised to a T but in a way that only makes sense to him (and maybe Bruce). Like the weirdest colour coded system you have ever seen in your life that looks like it would send an artist mad. But trust he gets the top grades of the whole school. Locks himself in his room a week or two before exams and does not leave unless it’s for food. Has been dragged out on several occasions by Alfred and Bruce.

Jason: ANNOTATIONS EVERYWHERE. He’s obviously studying English more than anything else (in my head he’s studying for an English degree). Coloured sticky tabs but he lowkey doesn’t actually understand how you’re supposed to use them effectively so he just uses them to add more notes. His work space is weirdly organised though. Also loves to study in the library, but specifically the Gotham public library (when he was younger he studied in the manor library but he avoids Bruce like the plague cus he tried to help once and spilt coffee on his book)

Cassandra: complete freak of nature who barely studies anything but does amazing, But she pays the most attention in lessons. Like her textbooks for class are FILLED(probably has a locker filled with just English and science textbooks). She doesn’t study anywhere but likes to join anyone going to the cafe to study to people watch.

Stephanie: iPad diva. She has a whole keyboard apple pen and procreate downloaded (courtesy of Tim losing a bet). And she cooks with her notes. So cutesy and coloured but also well detailed. I do think she would accidentally let it die in class and you just hear a “SHIT I NEED A PLUG” before running out. This has happened several times and the teacher just lets it happen. I like to think she’s pretty high up grade wise (mostly A’s and one or two b’s). Loves to study in the most awkward spots like the hallway or on the roof of a building.

Dick: LOVES the pomodorro studying method (20 mins of work 5 min break. repeat.) like you ask him anything about his grades or studying and he’s screaming “POMODORRO POM POM!!” At you. Unfortunately he does not do the 5 min breaks and instead waits till he’s done about 3 hours of pure study then gives himself all the 5 min breaks the next day. But also incredible grades. Locks himself in the cave to study despite bats having shit on his homework before.

IVE RUN OUT OF PHOTOS

I WILL post another part with Damien duke and maps probably some more of the Batfam

But this is also kinda study motivation bc my god is studying so hard

[universe-of-peoples]

My thoughts on Harmony Cobel after last night’s episode (under the cut bc it’s a wall of text ngl)

So Harmony is pulling away from Lumon and starting her redemption arc, right? And I’m really excited for it because not only do I NEED her to help Mark reintegrate, I also now need her to be one of the ones to burn Lumon to the ground for everything they did to her (the number of people who deserve to be the one to burn Lumon to the ground is just growing and growing).

But there’s also just something so compelling, speaking as a scientist, about seeing Harmony take back her creation from them. She developed the severance technology, and she’s the only one treating it like the science that it is (testing its limits with Mark S and Miss Casey, believing that reintegration could be possible compared to the Board who insisted it wasn’t). Lumon is treating severance like an asset to further their agenda and nothing else, and ignoring evidence that could point to things being different than how they want them to be. Ignoring evidence is very un-scientific. Harmony running tests on Petey’s chip to see if it was reintegrated despite Lumon telling her it wasn’t possible is very scientific. As Harmony pulls away from Lumon’s influence, she’s going to be able to look at the technology through a more objective, scientific lens.

That is to say, I think she’s going to help Mark with his reintegration. She may even team up with Reghabi if given the chance. She’s going to do it because the chips are her brain child, and she wants to figure out every side of them. But I think she’s also going to start recognizing the problems that severance (and Lumon) causes, so there’s at least a little part of her that will want to learn how to reverse severance through reintegration.

But don’t forget that this is a redemption arc, and those, especially the most realistic ones, are never straight lines. It’s extremely difficult to dismantle a belief system, and it’s possible that her loyalty could flip back and forth for at least a little while. We won’t truly know what side she’s on until she’s put in a situation where her allegiance is tested. I.e, she is given a chance to return to Lumon and get everything she’s wanted (maybe a lie Lumon would tell her once they realize how much of a threat she is). When she is given that chance, would the opportunity entice her, or would all the knowledge that she’s learned outweigh it?

It’s possible that the “opportunity to go back” part of her redemption arc is the one that was already given to her, even though they were not giving her everything she wanted. We still don’t know exactly why she turned it down at the last second (what was it about that man that she saw?), but the idea is that she knows that she would be in danger had she accepted, and she definitely knows she is in danger now. So maybe the threat of what Lumon would do to her is enough to push her towards the light side. She knows she can’t trust them enough to go back. So what’s left for her if she can’t go back?

Helping tear Lumon down brick by brick is what’s left.

[thepringlesofblood]

Murderbot Citations

I'm writing a giant research paper on the murderbot diaries and how Wells contrasts utopia & dystopia in her worldbuilding to deepen both sets of lore. So, I have made a LOT of citations.

Like, a LOT of citations. I can't even begin to describe. and it has been a royal pain getting them all on the computer, formatted correctly, with page # and book attached.

So. I decided to publish my giant list of citations online in case anyone else wants to do posts/papers/projects on the murderbot diaries and needs formatted, direct quotes with page numbers attached. (Also to feel like all this work has been for more than just my own academic needs.)

TLDR: A compilation of quotes from The Murderbot Diaries with page numbers attached, ready to be adjusted to the citation style of your choice & used as in-text citations where you see fit to put them. Enjoy!

ASR = All Systems Red

AC = Artificial Condition

RP = Rogue Protocol

ES = Exit Strategy

NE = Network Effect

FT = Fugitive Telemetry

SC = System Collapse

I use 'mb' as shorthand for murderbot

It's mostly ASR, with some NE and FT thrown in, but I put all the abbreviations in case I wind up coming back and putting more citations here

My list is organized according to how I'm writing the paper (all ones about surveillance here, all the ones about contract slavery there, etc.), so the page numbers are not in order, and there might be a repeat or two, but they are in book order. some of them might be repeated bc I had them formatted in lists like "all quotes related to ___) and some quotes relate to multiple things.

if you're looking specifically for gender-related mb quotes, @worldsentwined made a wonderful post collecting them a while back. I also have a few other murderbot posts that have quotes in them that might not be here, including a reblog where a bunch of lovely people added extra citations onto my original post. I hope you find what you're looking for!

All Systems Red

“I had been on contracts where the clients would have told me to put the bleeding human down to go get the stuff.” (15) ASR

“There were groans and general complaining about having to pay high prices for shitty equipment. (I don’t take it personally.)” (31) ASR crossover w slavery

“My education modules were such cheap crap;” (34) ASR

“I’m not refundable.” (49) ASR

“(You had to check everything out and log any problems immediately when you took delivery or the company wasn’t liable.)” (52) ASR

“It was all company equipment though, per contract, and all subject to the same malfunctions as the crap they’d dumped on us.” (58) ASR

““The company could be bribed to conceal the existence of several hundred survey teams on this planet.” Survey teams, whole cities, lost colonies, traveling circuses, as long as they thought they could get away with it. I just didn’t see how they could get away with making a client survey team—two client survey teams—vanish. Or why they’d want to. There were too many bond companies out there, too many competitors. Dead clients were terrible for business. “I don’t think the company would collude with one set of clients to kill two other sets of clients. You purchased a bond agreement that the company would guarantee your safety or pay compensation in the event of your death or injury. Even if the company couldn’t be held liable or partially liable for your deaths, they would still have to make the payment to your heirs. DeltFall was a large operation. The death payout for them alone will be huge.” And the company hated to spend money.” (90) ASR

“The organic parts mostly sleep, but not always. You know something’s happening. They were trying to purge my memory. We’re too expensive to destroy.” (116) ASR

“The company required this as a security feature if you wanted your base to be anywhere without open terrain around it. It cost extra, and if you didn’t want it, it cost even more to guarantee your bond.” (124) ASR

“Okay, the problem is, I’ve mentioned this before, the company is cheap. When it comes to something like a beacon that just has to launch once if there’s an emergency, send a transmission through the wormhole, and then never gets retrieved, they’re very cheap.” (137) ASR

“I said, “This unit is at minimal functionality and it is recommended that you discard it.” It’s an automatic reaction triggered by catastrophic malfunction…. “Your contract allows—” “Shut up,” Mensah snapped.” (139) ASR

“…we’re cheaply produced and we suck. Nobody would hire one of us for non-murdering purposes unless they had to.” (34) ASR

“In a smart world, I should go alone, but with the governor module I had to be within a hundred meters of at least one of the clients at all times, or it would fry me.” (37) ASR

“I walked out a little way, past a couple of the lakes, almost expecting to see something under the surface. Dead bodies, maybe. I’d seen plenty of those (and caused plenty of those) on past contracts, but this one had been dead-body-lacking, so far. It made for a nice change.” (44) ASR

“This is how we fight: throw ourselves at each other and see whose parts give out first.” (69) ASR

““Dr. Mensah,” I said, “this is a violation of security priority and I am contractually obligated to record this for report to the company—” It was in the buffer and the rest of my brain was empty.” (73) ASR

“The DeltFall SecUnits hadn’t been rogues, they had been inserted with combat override modules. The modules allow personal control over a SecUnit, turn it from a mostly autonomous construct into a gun puppet. The feed would be cut off, control would be over the comm, but functionality would depend on how complex the orders were. “Kill the humans” isn’t a complex order.” (75) ASR

““Because if the company wanted to sabotage you, they would have poisoned your supplies using the recycling systems. The company is more likely to kill you by accident.”” (81) ASR

“I said, “I did not hack my governor module to kill my clients. My governor module malfunctioned because the stupid company only buys the cheapest possible components. It malfunctioned and I lost control of my systems and I killed them. The company retrieved me and installed a new governor module. I hacked it so it wouldn’t happen again.” (81) ASR

"“Do they really expect to get away with this?” Ratthi turned to me, like he was expecting an answer.” (105)

““They may believe the company and whoever your beneficiaries are won’t look any further than the rogue SecUnits. But they can’t make two whole survey teams disappear unless their corporate or political entity doesn’t care about them. Does DeltFall’s care? Does yours?” (105) ASR

“Freehold meant it had been terraformed and colonized but wasn’t affiliated with any corporate confederations. Basically freehold generally meant shitshow so I hadn’t been expecting much from them. But they were surprisingly easy to work for.” (26) ASR

“The other good thing about my hacked governor module is that I could ignore the governor’s instructions to defend the stupid company.” (48) ASR

“I had a moment to feel betrayed, which was stupid. Volescu was my client, and I’d saved his life because that was my job, not because I liked him.” (79-80) ASR

“One saw me and Ratthi and said, “Again, this is irregular. Purging the unit’s memory before it changes hands isn’t just a policy, it’s best for the—” (143) ASR

“Maybe it would work out. This was what I was supposed to want. This was what everything had always told me I was supposed to want. Supposed to want.” (147) ASR

“Murderbots aren’t allowed to ride with the humans and I had to have verbal permission to enter. With my cracked governor there was nothing to stop me, but not letting anybody, especially the people who held my contract, know that I was a free agent was kind of important. Like, not having my organic components destroyed and the rest of me cut up for parts important.” (14) ASR

“I’m always supposed to speak respectfully to the clients, even when they’re about to accidentally commit suicide. HubSystem could log it and it could trigger punishment through the governor module.” (15) ASR

“…if it monitored the governor module and my feed like it was supposed to, it could lead to a lot of awkward questions and me being stripped for parts.” (31) ASR

“I had worked for some contracts that would have kept me standing here the entire day and night cycle, just on the off chance they wanted me to do something and didn’t want to bother using the feed to call me.” (33) ASR

“I don’t know why I was dancing around the word. Maybe because I thought she didn’t want to hear it. She’d just shot a heavily armed SecUnit with a mining drill to get me back; presumably she wanted to keep me.” (76) ASR

“Then Mensah said quietly, “SecUnit, do you have a name?” I wasn’t sure what she wanted. “No.” “It calls itself ‘Murderbot,’” Gurathin said." (82) ASR

“To them, talking to me was like talking to a hopper or a piece of mining equipment.” (127) ASR

“I know I said SecUnits aren’t sentimental about each other, but I wished it wasn’t one of the DeltFall units. It was in there somewhere, trapped in its own head, maybe aware, maybe not. Not that it matters. None of us had a choice.” (132) ASR

“Guardian was a nicer word than owner.” (148) ASR

“I’ve purchased your contract.” (145) ASR

“He said, “Good news! Dr. Mensah has permanently bought your contract! You’re coming home with us!” (141) ASR

“I’m off inventory.” They had told me that and maybe it was true.” (145) ASR

“SecSystem records everything, even inside the sleeping cabins, and I see everything.” (30) ASR

“I was supposed to check their personal logs periodically in case they were plotting to defraud the company or murder each other or something…” (57) ASR

“One of the reasons the bond company requires it, besides slapping more expensive markups on their clients, is that I was recording all their conversations all the time, though I wasn’t monitoring anything I didn’t need to do a half-assed version of my job. But the company would access all those recordings and data mine them for anything they could sell. No, they don’t tell people that. Yes, everyone does know it. No, there’s nothing you can do about it.” (27-28) ASR

“Now they knew their murderbot didn’t want to be around them any more than they wanted to be around it. I’d given a tiny piece of myself away. That can’t happen. I have too much to hide, and letting one piece go means the rest isn’t as protected.” (33-34) ASR

“No one would be shooting at me because they didn’t shoot people there. Mensah didn’t need a bodyguard there; nobody did. It sounded like a great place to live, if you were a human or augmented human.” (146) ASR

“If there’s a chance we can save lives, we have to take it,” Pin-Lee agreed.” (57) ASR

“They were the first clients I’d had who hadn’t had any previous experience with SecUnits” (40) ASR

““You have to think of it as a person,” Pin-Lee said to Gurathin.” (95) ASR

“”It is a person,” Arada insisted.” “I do think of it as a person,” Gurathin said. “An angry, heavily armed person who has no reason to trust us.” “Then stop being mean to it,” Ratthi told him. “That might help.”” (96) ASR

“Overse added, “It doesn’t want to interact with humans. And why should it? You know how constructs are treated, especially in corporate-political environments.”” (107) ASR

“”You know, in Preservation-controlled territory, bots are considered full citizens. A construct would fall under the same category.” He said this in the tone of giving me a hint. Whatever. Bots who are “full citizens” still have to have a human or augmented human guardian appointed, usually their employer; I’d seen it on the news feeds.” (112) ASR

“Ratthi smiled at the console. “Because Dr. Mensah is our political entity.” He made a little gesture, turning his hand palm up. “We’re from Preservation Alliance, one of the non-corporate system entities. Dr. Mensah is the current admin director on the steering committee. It’s an elected position, with a limited term. But one of the principles of our home is that our admins must also continue their regular work, whatever it is. Her regular work required this survey, so here she is, and here we are.”” (111) ASR

“Ratthi came over to see if I was all right, and I asked him to tell me about Preservation and how Mensah lived there. He said when she wasn’t doing admin work, she lived on a farm outside the capital city, with two marital partners, plus her sister and brother and their three marital partners, and a bunch of relatives and kids who Ratthi had lost count of.” (147) ASR

“Ratthi sighed. “Oh, yes, they know. You would not believe what we had to pay to guarantee the bond on the survey. These corporate arseholes are robbers.”” (112) ASR

““Because the scanners suck corporation balls,” Pin-Lee muttered.” (42) ASR

“Of course I need you. I have no experience in anything like this. None of us do. Sometimes humans can’t help but let emotion bleed through into the feed. She was furious and frightened, not at me, at the people who would do this, kill like this,” (107-108) ASR

“I said, “This unit is at minimal functionality and it is recommended that you discard it.” It’s an automatic reaction triggered by catastrophic malfunction. Also, I really didn’t want them to try to move me because it hurt bad enough the way it was. “Your contract allows—” “Shut up,” Mensah snapped. “You shut the fuck up. We’re not leaving you.”” (139) ASR

"I had flashes off and on. The inside of the little hopper, my humans talking, Arada holding my hand." (140) ASR

“We had a problem at the hatch of the big hopper where Mensah wanted to get in last and I wanted to get in last. As a compromise, I grabbed her around the waist and swung us both up into the hatch as the ramp pulled in after us. I set her on her feet and she said, “Thank you, SecUnit,” while the others stared.” (99) ASR

““I know you’re more comfortable with keeping your helmet opaque, but the situation has changed. We need to see you.”” (103) ASR

““It’s usually better if humans think of me as a robot,” I said.” (103) ASR

““Maybe, under normal circumstances.” She was looking a little off to one side, not trying to make eye contact, which I appreciated. “But this situation is different. It would be better if they could think of you as a person who is trying to help. Because that’s how I think of you.” My insides melted. That’s the only way I could describe it. After a minute, when I had my expression under control, I cleared the face plate and had it and the helmet fold back into my armor. She said, “Thank you,” and I followed her up into the hopper.” (104) ASR

“They were saying things like I didn’t even know it had a face.” (21) ASR

“Arada and Pin-Lee didn’t try to talk to me, and Ratthi actually looked away when I eased past him to get to the cockpit. They were all so careful not to look at me or talk to me directly that as soon as we were in the air I did a quick spot check through HubSystem’s records of their conversations.” (39) ASR

“They had talked it over and all agreed not to “push me any further than I wanted to go” and they were all so nice and it was just excruciating.” (40) ASR

“That was when I realized they weren’t ignoring the possibility of sabotage.” (43) ASR

“This is why I didn’t want to come. I’ve got four perfectly good humans here and I didn’t want them to get killed by whatever took out DeltFall. It’s not like I cared about them personally, but it would look bad on my record, and my record was already pretty terrible.” (60) ASR

“It was nice having a human smart enough to work with like this.” (67) ASR

“I do a half-assed job sometimes, okay, most of the time, but Pin-Lee had checked, too, and she was thorough.” (71) ASR

“It was starting to occur to me that Dr. Mensah might actually be an intrepid galactic explorer, even if she didn’t look like the ones on the entertainment feed.” (73) ASR

“I hoped they hadn’t been stupid about it, too soft-hearted to kill me.” (77) ASR

“My clients are the best clients.” (78) ASR

“But I think the fact that the Unit has been acting to preserve our lives, to take care of us, while it was a free agent, gives us even more reason to trust it.”” (80) ASR

“Overse sounded mad. “It told us about the combat module, it told us to kill it. Why the hell would it do that if it wanted to hurt us?”” (81) ASR

“Before anyone else could move, Mensah said, calm and even, “SecUnit, I’d appreciate it if you put Gurathin down, please.” She’s a really good commander. I’m going to hack her file and put that in. If she’d gotten angry, shouted, let the others panic, I don’t know what would have happened.” (84-85) ASR

“She continued, “I would like you to remain part of our group, at least until we get off this planet and back to a place of safety. At that point, we can discuss what you’d like to do. But I swear to you, I won’t tell the company, or anyone outside this room, anything about you or the broken module.”” (86) ASR

“Of course she had to say that. What else could she do. I tried to decide whether to believe it or not, or whether it mattered, when I was hit by a wave of I don’t care. And I really didn’t. I said, “Okay.”” (86) ASR

““We have to shut it down, or it’s going to kill us.” Then he winced and looked at me. “Sorry, I meant HubSystem.”” (86-87) ASR

“Then Arada came up and patted my shoulder. “I’m sorry. This must be very upsetting. After what that other Unit did to you . . . Are you all right?” That was too much attention. I turned around and walked into the corner, facing away from them.” (87) ASR

“I should keep my mouth shut, keep them thinking of me as their normal obedient SecUnit, stop reminding them what I was. But I wanted them to be careful.” (92) ASR

““If a strange survey group landed here, all friendly, saying they had just arrived, and oh, we’ve had an equipment failure or our MedSystem’s down and we need help, you would let them in. Even if I told you not to, that it was against company safety protocol, you’d do it.” Not that I’m bitter, or anything. A lot of the company’s rules are stupid or just there to increase profit, but some of them are there for a good reason.” (92-93) ASR

[I cited this whole conversation bc I wasn't sure exactly what bits I wanted to use. apologies for the giant block text.]

“Ratthi’s expression was troubled. “But surely . . . It’s clear you have feelings—”” (54)

“She looked up, frowning. “Ratthi, what are you doing?” Ratthi shifted guiltily. “I know Mensah asked us not to, but—” He waved a hand. “You saw it.” Overse pulled her interface off. “You’re upsetting it,” she said, teeth gritted. “That’s my point!” He gestured in frustration. “The practice is disgusting, it’s horrible, it’s slavery. This is no more a machine than Gurathin is—” Exasperated, Overse said, “And you don’t think it knows that?” I’m supposed to let the clients do and say whatever they want to me and with an intact governor module I wouldn’t have a choice.” (54) ASR

“I’m also not supposed to snitch on clients to anybody except the company, but it was either that or jump out the hatch. I sent the conversation into the feed tagged for Mensah. From the cockpit, she shouted, “Ratthi! We talked about this!” I slid out of the seat and went to the back of the hopper, as far away as I could get, facing the supply lockers and the head. It was a mistake; it wasn’t a normal thing for a SecUnit with an intact governor module to do, but they didn’t notice. “I’ll apologize,” Ratthi was saying. “No, just leave it alone,” Mensah told him. “That would just make it worse,” Overse added.” (55) ASR

Network Effect

“Humans in the Preservation alliance didn't have to sign up for contract labor and get shipped off to mines or whatever for 80 to 90 percent of their lifespans. There was some strange system where they all got their food and shelter and education and medical for free, no matter what job they did.” (35-36) NE

“...it was a natural mistake on Arada’s part. In Preservation culture asking payment for anything considered necessary for living (food, power sources, education, the feed, etc.) was considered outrageous, but asking payment for life-saving help was right up there with cannibalism.” (201) NE

“There were "free" bots wandering around on Preservation, though they had guardians who were technically supposed to keep track of them.” (27) NE

“Plus, it was Preservation and there were no scanning drones, no armed human security, just some on-call human medics with bot assistants and “rangers” who mainly enforced environmental regulations and yelled at humans and augmented humans to get out of the way of the ground vehicles.” (24) NE

"Over the comm loudspeaker, Dr. Ratthi said, 'It is a person!'" (16) NE

“Even the individual humans’ feed signatures only contained info about sexual availability and gender presentation, which I didn’t give a damn about.” (13) NE

“If this went wrong I was going to feel really stupid. The Targets would finally show up and be all “What the hell was it trying to do to itself?”“ (305-306) NE

“That’s one of the reasons Me 1.0 misses its armor.” (293) NE

“You and Amena were right. 2.0 was a person. It wasn’t like a baby, but it was a person.” (340) NE

“The damage to its organic tissue and support structure is easily repaired.” (132) NE

“- because it thought you were dead. It was so upset I thought-Oh, hey, you’re here” (227) NE

“Amena’s voice said “No, it doesn’t like to be touched!”“ (335) NE

““No, it says it’s fine,” I heard her relaying to the others on our comm. “Well, yes, it’s furious,”” (12) NE

"It's not aliens, 2.0 said. We knew it wasn't aliens, I told it. It countered, We were seventy-two percent sure it wasn't aliens. That was an outdated assessment but I didn't need to argue with myself right now." (314) NE

Fugitive Telemetry

“Preservation had two economies, one a complicated barter system for planetary residents and one currency-based for visitors and for dealing with other polities. Most of the humans here didn’t really understand how important hard currency was in the Corporation Rim but the council did, and Mensah said the port took in enough in various fees to keep the station from being a drain on the planet’s resources.” (79) FT

“The Preservation Alliance has a weird thing about food and medical care and other thing humans need to survive being free and available anywhere.” (35) FT

“The employment contracts for Preservation citizens were pretty simple, because their planetary legal code had so many in-built protections already. (For example, humans and augmented humans can’t sign away their rights to their labor or bodily autonomy in perpetuity; that’s like, straight-up illegal.)” (12) FT

“Preservation has high safety standards so we passed through two air walls before we got to the cargo ship’s hatch.” (70) FT

“Right now Aylen and the other officers were explaining to their individual Targets what rights they had as detainees in Preservation Alliance territory. (It was a lot of rights. I was pretty sure it was more rights than a human who hadn’t been detained by Station Security had in the Corporation Rim.)” (85-86) FT

“As part of the rights thing, Aylen had told Target Five the scanner would be on, which I thought was playing way too fair,” (89-90) FT

“Station Security was only allowed to keep the Lalow for one Preservation day-cycle before they either had to charge the crew with something or let them go.” (106) FT

“You need a surveillance audit.” (145) “Some of those systems are under privacy lock, we’d need a judge-advocate to release their access records,” (146) FT [these are together bc its a line of dialogue from mb, a huge monologue about what a surveillance audit is, and then Indah's response, which is the thing I care about for my paper]

“Most of the station’s clothing supply came from the planet, where human hand-made clothing and textiles were so popular there was hardly any recycler-produced fabric. (I told you Preservation is weird.)” (22) FT

“The colony ship hadn’t just been left to rot; the humans liked it too much for that…Pieces of clear protective material had been placed over the occasional drawings on the bulkheads, and on the pieces of paper stuck to them and covered with scribbled handwriting and faded print. Feed markers had been installed by Station Historical/Environment Management with translations into Preservation Standard Nomenclature.” (123) FT

“…you’re on a giant spaceship that has been meticulously preserved as a historical artifact. If they still had intact lunch menus from however many years ago, the chances were good they still had the safety equipment.” (125) FT

“Station Security isn’t armed except with those extendable batons (they don’t even deliver shocks, they’re just for hitting/holding off aggressive intoxicated humans) and the officers are only issued energy weapons when there’s actually an energy-weapon-involved emergency.” (72) FT

“…they were here to assess the damage to the transport and try to repair it. (Apparently on Preservation this would be free? Gurathin said it fell under what they called a traveler’s aid rule. In the Corporation Rim, the transport would have had tp sit there damaged and racking up fines until its owner or an owner’s rep arrived.)” (55-56) FT

another "couldn't decide so the whole dang thing is here"

"For a name, I could use the local feed address that was hard coded into my neural interfaces. It wasn’t my real name, but it was what the systems I interfaced with called me. If I used it, the humans and augmented humans I encountered would think of me as a bot. Or I could use the name Rin. I liked it, and there were some humans outside the Corporation Rim who thought it was actually my name. I could use it, and the humans on the Station wouldn’t have to think about what I was, a construct made of cloned human tissue, augments, anxiety, depression, and unfocused rage, a killing machine for whichever humans rented me, until I made a mistake and got my brain destroyed by my governor module." (28) “I posted a feed ID with the name SecUnit, gender = not applicable, and no other information.” (29)

[shabbytigers]

i have a functioning german business bank account that is permitted to receive payments on invoices

the degree to which this has been an opaque, anxiogenic, and verging on hostile process that ass-raped precisely the most questionable bits of my executive function really cannot be overemphasized. but here we are, and now i can get fucking paid without risking excommunication by my personal bank, which sucks and needs to be abandoned with prejudice if and when i pull together what it takes to tackle opening yet another new account.

(more specs for those with pathological interest levels)

ing direct, the Legitimate Global Bank, Right?, is bad actually (extremely monolingual and impenetrable, sent me death threats for getting paid, did not suggest that i open a business account or offer help of any kind)

revolut, the Online-Only Eastern Bloc Outfit Targeting Expats Hmmm, is good actually (has honest to god english language versions of everything. i still had to figure out what the fuck jesse was talking about a couple of times by googling things but mostly wrt types of documentation, which is sort of fair bc those are not, fundamentally, things that have translations. in any case it was helpful enough at pointing to gaps that i did eventually manage to connect the dots and take steps to fill them. it also was very nice and accepted the piece of paper that says i’ve applied in lieu of the actual new Gewerbeanmeldung. just, like, has Any customer service orientation or sympathy whatsoever)

the piece of the berlin government where you re-register your business: not too bad actually. they try to offer english (!). admittedly it doesn’t work — weird alt-text pop-up methodology that failed by screen three of a many-screens online form — but i appreciated the gesture. anyway the instructions are simple enough to manage with a sufficiently robust army of spite, stubbornness, terror, and machine translators. ux was hinky but ultimately functional

most of this nonsense is kind of on me for not figuring out how a whole bunch of shit works in a timely manner, but in my defense, it is not in any way intuitive, and guidance is hella scarce. allaboutberlin and portal are good resources that i used to open the business in the first place but, like, i didn’t have accounts with them, there wasn’t any “the noob is moving, better alert them that they have to do x, y, and z about it, even though they literally just got the new business in order and are still feeling triumphant doneness!” flag in their systems, and nothing on my end clued me in that i wasn’t dotting all the is and crossing all the ts, so why exactly tf would i have gone back to those sites looking up shit i didn’t know i didn’t know? to be clear, i was not just drifting along in lala land, i was in fact very busy being brave and proactive on other bureaucratic fronts like “how to invoice a client. no, but correctly” and “what do i have to do about vat despite having figured out that all of this is vat-exempt” and so on. anyway it was a nice classic fucking several stages of difficult unraveling with each stage gating the next stage immigrant’s puzzle

[crispyanonartnsfw]

It stood the test of enough commutes, so here it is !! A Sambastian Mixtape

If the comic idea was a TV series (pffft), this would be the soundtrack, so the songs are in chronological order. The lyrics are pretty on the nose but in case you're curious I break it down below

(I made this playlist for myself because I would like to draw the comic someday... Maybe one day... For now, I only have the music lol)

These are the first and the last song of each section for reference. I'll stay superficial bc you don't need to know the depths of my brainrot, just know that the songs are mostly either from Sam or Seb POV, few of them from other's characters POVs, and in the second half are mostly shared POV. I tried to keep all the songs in what I think are their vibes but sometimes my hand slipped for the sake of the plot I had in my head not me putting Lorde and LDR in a Sambastian playlist

✶ Ribs - Lorde ⏭ Cigarette Daydreams - Cage The Elephant

Sam and Sebastian are in their teens, they grew up attached to the hip and figured they always will be. Sebastian lightheartedly realizes there might be something more, which could be true for Sam as well if he wasn't half unaware half in denial because that's not how things are supposed to go. Surely he just loves his best friend so much and it's nothing more complicated then that! Right?? But Seb's feelings slowly become heavier and that mixed with the fact that he refuses to accept help for anything from anyone starts to strain the relationship as time passes.

✶ Let it happen - Tame Impala ⏭ Somewhere only we know - Keane

Bad times. Seb is depressed and it doesn't help that Sam and his savior complex are dating Penny (and they are actually good for each other for a while). Sebastian retaliates with Alex, something that Sam disapproves because he was one of his bullies (PSA: my boy Alex is not a villain!! just closeted young and struggling). Is it protectiveness or jealousy? That's between him and god. Much general angst when you add severe growing pains and bad mental health to a broken heart. They end up taking time apart and not seeing each other again. It's hard.

✶ If I ever feel better - Phoenix ⏭ Simple Song - The Shins

Healing hours 🖤 They really needed to work on themselves first and foremost. They figure out stuff, Sebastian fixes his relationship with Maru, Sam is finally honest with himself about his own issues. Friends help. Eventually, they meet again. They easily fit right back together and tentatively work out their feelings.

✶ Read My Mind - The Killers ⏭ Here It Goes Again - OK Go

It's Goblin Destroyer time!! Sam, Seb and Abby are living in Zuzu city, playing concerts, fighting the system, breaking the rules and having the time of their lives. Questionable decisions never looked so good (Peak ASS trio energy btw). Chaos and euphoria ensue. Everything seems perfect until-

✶ Social Cues - Cage The Elephant ⏭ Good Riddance (Time of your life) - Green Day

Why no one told them you never stop figuring shit out in life? Age 30 crisis. Goblin Destroyer are over. They wonder about what direction to take with their lives, and everything seems bittersweet. This time though, they are together, and that makes it all possible - and bearable. They did it before and they'll do it again, they're going to be alright.

✶ Everlong - Foo Fighters ⏭ Praise You - Fatboy Slim

When you've already spent a lifetime together, something very special inevitably takes form. I was thinking about their new timeskipped vibe once they get older and lose the dumbass energy (at least some of it) in favor of a deeper devotion (Hi Hozier). I might keep adding to this. This part is not chronological, truly just Sambastian basking in their love and celebrating everything they've accomplished

(and I'm just an old sap, byeeee)

By the way it's crispy talking: I had to take out several songs that were a bit too freaky lol, that would be a different playlist, also Body Talks is fully about @lily-alphonse 's Lonely Dancers fic, I had to include it 😇