#I MISSED YOU SO MUH

[jeonjungkoos]

D-DAY (1)

[endiness]

tbh i didn't send any feedback about the new dashboard but fucking with avs? that's the last fucking straw!!! i just absolutely despise how this site seems more and more intent on completely removing, or at least diminishing, every customizable aspect of it and becoming just like every other social media site out there that i barely interact with because i also despise the lack of customization and complete lack of personality and personability those sites have, too. (not to mention, like, kill the algorithm and complete lack of a true chronological timeline with fire.)

[vaeylahh]

𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒀𝒐𝒖? 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖.

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𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐂𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐘 𝐱 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓

Tw:: Slight mention of murder, smut, no plot porn, slight degradation (Reader insulting Toby Lol), soft!dom Toby, Power!sub reader, creampie, raw sex, use of weed, high Toby, cussing at every paragraph. (cuz the writer is immature)

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝟭𝟴+ 𝗜 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗕𝗘 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗧𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗦.

If i missed out any warnings please tell me..

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It was a quiet night, living off by yourself and paying for your own tuition for college like every usual day because you insisted on being “independent”. That really fucked you up to the core. Your dark undereye and pale lips were the evidence of those sleepless nights. You've sometimes regretted the foolish decision you made but then again, it was better than living off with your family who gives you zero to no privacy at all.

You were in the kitchen-living room downing down the 6th cup of coffee for the day. Your eyes lazily trailing off through the darkness and the pure silence of this depressing environment. You're not ready to end the day yet, you needed to do some jack shit project that had nothing to do with your course at all and it was driving you insane.

After finishing off your coffee, you simply placed the mug onto the sink ready to go back to whatever work you're doing on your computer but then you jolted back in surprise when you heard an all too familiar voice call out to you from your couch. A soft groan escaped your lips when you realized who it was.

Relaxing your tensed up shoulder, you made your way to the couch and just as you predicted, there was Toby, lazily slouching and man spreading on your couch like he owned the place. You didn't even realize he was in here, you wanted to ask when and how he got here unnoticed but something caught your attention. His eyes, tho it was dark, you couldn't mistake it to be slightly reddish meaning he was probably, currently high right now, smoked weed with his little killer friends too. You crossed your arms as you watched the man giggle at your pissed off expression.

Have i mentioned that Toby, an infamous serial killer around your neighborhood happened to be a friend-ish? If that's what you want to describe to him as. He's tried to kill you before, turns out you were the wrong target, tried to kill you either way to keep his identity a secret but you managed to convince him somehow to keep you alive. He had other plans, to put you in 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲 for.

"Hey..i-i hope you don't mind me dropping by.." he spoke in a breathy tone with a shit-eating grin plastered on his lips. He moved closer to the arm chair, tugging at your arm with his gloved hands to pull you down with him on the couch. His neck twitched once as he did. "Come on..you know yo-you want muh-me here, what's with the frown?.."

You narrowed your eyes down at him and followed suit to his advances. Tho you're pissed–why wouldn't you? It's not everyday somebody clings to you so desperately like this. "Have you been smoking weed? Fuck you stink.."

He ignored your insult and nuzzled his face against your neck, pushing you down on the couch, making you accidentally hit your head on the armrest. You hissed and lifted your head up in annoyance. "Sorry.." He murmured against your neck, lightly rubbing the spot where you hit your head as if he could magically make the pain go away. As if this man knows what pain felt like.

You gritted your teeth in annoyance, narrowing your eyes at him but let go of it soon enough as he cuddled up to you. The man 𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗞𝗦 with sweat, blood and dirt. Sometimes you don't even understand how your gut was strong enough to withstand this stinky man. "I-i missed you Y/N..rea-..really i did.." Toby whispered against your ear, nibbling at your earlobe.

"I don't, damn it. When was the last time you showered?" You spoke harshly thinking he was just gonna cuddle up to you like any other day but that thought was soon scrapped when he pushed your legs apart–quite literally smacking it. He ground his hips against yours lightly, whimpering at your ears like the submissive fuck he was. "Y/N..cuh-can i touch you?.." He whispered softly, his hot breath tickling your neck as he spoke.

Your mind short-circuited at his advances, it took you a good minute to realize what was happening and what he was implying. You laid there staring up at the ceiling with your mouth open trying to think of something to say. It didn't make any sense that you're freaking out now, It's not like this was your first time having him act like a horny teenager around you, this man had his whole adolescence robbed from him by his shitty father–but then again it caught you off guard.

"Well yeah but-.." before you could even finish your sentence, he was already straddling your hips while undoing the belt of his jeans with shaky hands. "Take..take-..this off..please" He spoke in a shaky, breathy voice, tugging at your shorts before going back to his own pants. "You're so pathetic sometimes you know?.." The words left your mouth without you even realizing it.

He whined at your insult, yet you could quite literally see the desperation in his eyes. His cheeks getting reader and he was getting sweatier than usual. You complied to his request or more like his demand, tugging your shorts down along with your underwear. He lifted his hips up a bit so you could pull it down further. "Yes..yes..juh-just like that.." his head twitching to the side from excitement as he stared at your folds.

He unzipped his pants, palming himself two to three times through his boxers before pulling out his half-hard shaft out. He held your hips with one hand, the other stroking his member to life as he focused at the way your body looked underneath him. His mind racing with the intense adrenaline of his previous mission and the person laying beneath him which was 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

You watched thoroughly as he stroked himself, muttering curses underneath his breath as he held you in position with his rough, gloved hand. He's already leaking pre-cum down to your lower stomach, The sight made you shiver throughout your whole body, all the way down to your slick folds.

With half-lidded eyes, he laid flat ontop of you again, nuzzling his face against your neck. His hand squishing between you two as he guided his shaft down at your wet folds. Slowly he sunk into your tight, gummy walls, making him whimper.

He placed one arm over your head while his free hand held your hips tightly, his nails digging onto your flesh enough to bruise.He lazily moved his hips, thrusting in and out of you slowly at first. "Oh shit...you-.. you're so good, so..th-tight.." he moaned against your ear before lightly biting down at your neck. he quickened his pace with each thrust, unable to hold back from the pent up frustration he's stored upon himself.

His weight, alongside the feeling of him biting down on your neck made you feel light headed. You close your eyes tightly, focusing on the perfect rhythm of his hips thrusting against yours. It makes your legs shaky but in a desperate attempt to keep him close, you wrapped your legs around him. The couch creaking beneath you as he went faster. "Jesus Christ.. Toby..slow down-" Your moans more noticeable than before from his roughness.

"Oh fuck-..FUCK! Ah-..mhm.. I'm gonna-.." Toby moaned louder along with you as he chased his orgasm. He felt a familiar tingle in his lower abdomen, his cock twitching with needs and with the last couple of thrusts, he was spilling himself deep inside you. He stayed inside of you, making sure his cum was buried deep within.

You held him tightly against your chest until the pleasure subsided, eyebrows furrowed and beads of sweat forming around your forehead. Slowly you opened your eyes again, adjusting to the darkness of the living room with only the moonlight's glow acting as a dim light for you to see. You ran your hand through the Brunette's hair, pushing his messy hair out of his face.

"You staying?.." You spoke in a breathy tone.  Toby responded with a simple hum as he adjusted himself around you. He held you tightly, making sure you won't leave him even after he fell asleep. It's not like you could anyway, he was heavy as hell.

[yaekiss]

no thoughts just dragon dan heng in heat being horny 24/7. like you'll have to physically DRAG this man off your dick so he doesn't kill you of exhaustion. i will take my leave now

꩜ Room Content: Dom! Top! GN! Reader x Sub! Bottom! IL Dan Heng, no gendered terms for reader, reader has a cock, mentions of IL Dan Heng having 2 dicks, breeding kink, mating press, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: ANON UR BRAINNNNNN, this brainrot plagued me for like a week as evident from this other ramble I wrote for Dan Heng orz... THE GRIP THIS MAN HAS ON MY BRAIN (and my dick) !! KEEP UR IDEAS COMING ANON (just like how Dan Heng keeps you coming in him I MEAN WHATTT)

Under the influence of his heat, Dan Heng is near insatiable.

You can always tell when his heat is coming up with the way he’s constantly trying to rile you up. Trailing a hand up your thigh under the table when you sit next to him in the parlor car, sinfully whispering about how he needs you inside him right nowwww! He becomes increasingly clingy, dragging you off to his room to cuddle and wrap his tail around you like he’s trying to press every inch of him onto your skin. It’s not surprising if the cuddle session turns a little more heated when he tries to rut against your thigh as he crams his face into the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. 

If you thought he was bad before his heat, you’re ill-prepared for the whore he becomes during his heats. Really, it’s as if he can’t live without your dick inside him 24/7, always whining and begging, close to tears when you need to stop and pull out of him to catch your breath. Normally, Dan Heng wouldn’t behave like this. However, one must not underestimate the neediness of a dragon in heat. Need to go shower? It’s ok you can fuck him in the shower, he can suck you off as he kneels on the tiled floor. Need go to the kitchen to grab something to eat? He’s following you and spreading his ass so you can eat him out. Huh, that’s not what you meant??

“Let’s go for hhah… one muh- more round, please [name]!”

It’s a little ridiculous how slutty he gets, all the knowledge he’s gained from the erotica he secretly reads every time he misses you at night is finally getting put to good use. He wants you to fuck him in every position possible but he absolutely loves it when you manhandle him into a mating press, the feeling of you reaching unthinkably deep in him gets him all shaky with lust. The searing grip you have on the back of his thighs as you push his knees up to his shoulders combined with how your length slides into his warm hole has him giddy with pleasure. He’s purring loudly at how your cock hits all the right spots in him and his tail is flicking wildly on the bed. Stuffing him full of your cum isn’t enough, he needs to get bred. 

“Hnngh! You ff- fuck! -feel so sososo good in mE!! Breed me breed me pleaseplease [naME]!”

Nothing is stopping him from wringing out every single drop of cum from you, if you tire easily, no problem, he’ll just ride you! As much as you’d like to complain, the sight above you is fucking gorgeous. Dan Heng has his head thrown back in pure ecstasy, his makeup is smudged, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he moans and cries. When he bounces on your cock, his own dicks slap up against his tummy and he whimpers so beautifully at the added stimulation. His walls clamp down hard on your length to try to milk you for all you’re worth. He doesn’t have to worry about not being able to walk tomorrow because as far as he knows, the two of you will be fucking alllll week! (Dan Heng’s line of reasoning is: No need to walk if all you’re gonna do is fuck uncontrollably like bunnies!)

He only has one thing on his mind: getting bred by you ♡

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[billdenbroughsgirl]

nap time ♡ bill denbrough

♡ pairing: bill denbrough x fem!reader

a/n ♡ first tumblr post! i’ve been writing fics for a few years now, but i’ve started to really like my work & want to share it! please send requests !

♡ summary: reader goes to bill’s baseball game, and afterwards, they fall asleep cuddling <3

♡ word count: 376 :)

♡ one week ago ♡

you climb onto the bed, and lie your head on bill’s chest, your cheek against his shirt. “i missed you.” you mutter lazily. he’d been at one of his baseball games, and you’d been bored out of your mind at home. “it’s buh-been an h-hour.” he replies, his hands moving to your head, starting to play with your hair. “a very long hour.” you hear him chuckle softly. “muh-maybe you should c-come next t-t-time.” he suggests. “really?” you lift your head from his chest and look at him. he nods, a small smile on his face.

you bounce on your heels, waiting for bill to come over to the bike rack, where you’d agreed to meet. after what feels like forever, you spot him walking towards you. “bill!” you exclaim, running towards him with your arms out. you see a smile light up his face, and he stretches his arms out as you reach him. “that was so cool!” you say, your voice muffled by his arms around you. “y-yeah?” he asks, and you nod. “mhm! you’re really good.” he kisses the top of your head, “th-thank you,” before pulling away from the hug, “you r-ready to go?” he asks, and you nod. the two of you walk the short distance to the bike rack. you hop onto your bike, a cherry red cruiser with a woven basket, and bill gets onto silver.

you’re lying on your back on bill’s bed, waiting for him to get out of the shower. “hurry up!” you call out, partially joking. a moment later, he opens his bedroom door, and you sit up. pulling a ringer tee over his head, he says “j-jesus christ, y/n, be puh-patient.” you shake your head. “i was! you just take forever in the shower!” he rolls his eyes, but you can see a small smile on his face. “yeah, oh-okay.” he walks over to his bed, and you move so he can get comfortable. lying down on his back, he motions you back, patting his chest. you smile, and lay your head down, closing your eyes. “‘m gonna take a nap,” you mumble sleepily, feeling his hand on your head, stroking your hair. “a-alright. s-sleep well, y-y/n.” you smile. “you too, bill.”

[blackbullet99]

Why (as a Kataang shipper and in general) I don’t like Zutara shippers.

(I promise it’s NOT a Pro-Zutara post and it’s NOT an Anti-Kataang post).

LONG POST INCOMING, but if you have the time, please read. 😁

I’ve been thinking. I don’t hate Zutara.

No, I’m not being held hostage, and I know this kinda goes against my rather vitriolic and brutal response to Zutara shippers, but the ship itself is fine and I’m sure 95% of the shippers are decent people.

I really love Zuko and Katara’s friendship, it’s one of the most interesting unique dynamics of the show. It’s annoying when people say, they’re toxic, or they’re barely friends, or it’s a colonizer ship. Zuko and Katara weren’t toxic by the end of the show, they have a great relationship at the end, they were absolutely close friends, ready to lay down their lives for each other. Zuko WAS a colonizer, but he learned this line of thinking was wrong and actively sought to make the world a better place and save The Earth Kingdom.

That being said, Kataang is definitely indisputably the superior “ship”. We see the two start of a close friends from the get-go, they both have a lot of admiration and respect for one another, they grow to love each other dearly despite their flaws, they support each other constantly. And it’s abundantly clear that not only does Aang love Katara, but Katara loves Aang, some may it’s one-sided, but that’s objectively false, it’s painfully obvious they mean the world to each other, we see their bond get stronger, but they have a strong friendship and bond first and foremost and their romantic feelings comfortably exist within.

When I say Zutara shippers are annoying, entitled, toxic idiots, I’m specifically referring to the very vocal minority of people that seem to dominate ZK shipping discussions on Tumblr.

People like…

the-badger-mole who villainizes Aang and hates a fictional 12 year old to a ridiculous degree. Not to mention has so many objectively wrong takes.

longing-for-rain who villainizes Aang, downplaying his trauma, and is unempathetic to his emotions, but will excuses all of Zuko’s anger and outbursts cuz “muh enemies to lovers”.

eponastory who straight up downplays the very serious effects of genocide and the trauma it causes.

sokkastyles who actually thinks an imperialist play reflects the real Katara, (and yes they think the Zutara means “Zutara should’ve been canon, waah”).

zutarawasrobbed who straight up compared Aang to Ozai.

burst-of-iridescent who invalidates Katara trauma from bloodbending cuz she did it in front of Zuko once, but the evil Aang must’ve forced Katara to stop. 🙄

linnoya-writes who straight up infantizes Aang and adulifies Katara, and then that’s the audacity to put their garbage in the Kataang tag.

miss-sweetea-pie who makes mindless assumptions about people who like Aang, as though people ignore Aang’s faults and he never learns because he’s cute. Which is not only untrue, but completely ignores the fact people ignore and romanticize Zuko’s faults because to them he’s hot.

araeph who not only lies about interviewing Aaron Ehasz, but also says borderline racist stuff like this just to pathetically validate their non-canon ship (this is apparently what Sokka would gain from Zutara becoming a couple).

This idiot who acts like Aang forced Katara to comfort him and Katara apparently never treated Aang as an equal. Not to mention weirdly villainizing Zuko and Mai, because Mai didn’t coddle Zuko (like they claim Katara did to Aang) and Zuko became Fire Lord?

This hateful idiot, who is a straight up genocide denier.

And this racist weirdo who straight up writes slave fanfics about Katara being owned by Zuko. Ew.

It’s these types of people who suck. They’re the most delusional entitled moronic idiots who are fake A:TLA fans with no media-literacy who only care about a middle school ship, so they pathetically mischaracterize Aang, Katara, Zuko and Mai, and whine about Bryke not giving into their desires like the little bitches they are. Screw these guys.

That being said the ship itself isn’t bad, it’s just the vocal minority who ruin it for me. I love Zuko and Katara’s friendship, and I wish the great characters in this great series would stop being mischaracterized.

To anyone who reads this, have a nice day.

[damnfandomproblems]

Posting a compilation of responses to Fandom Problem #6020.

Anon:

If you want representation, create your own story Fandom is not activism

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Anon:

Except you people almost never racebend white characters. You racebend other minorities. You racebend anime characters with Japanese names who live in Japan and speak Japanese and have their whole family live in Japan with Japanese names and speak Japanese and claim that the original character was "white." You take characters who are half-black, half-white and say they "aren't black enough" and make them completely black, racebending the white parent ONLY for the sake of racebending their kid. You racebend half-black, half-Asian characters for the same reason, they "aren't black enough." The overwhelming majority of people who complain about racebending don't care about a character's race, they're pointing out YOU'RE ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY DOING THIS TO CHARACTERS WHO ARE OTHER MINORITIES, WHO DESERVE REPRESENTATION TOO, WHILE SLAPPING IRL PEOPLE WHO MATCH THE DESCRIPTION OF THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!

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Anon:

I am pretty sure that modern fandom was not created specifically by POC. It was created by majorly women who were really into Star Track, completely unrelated to any skin colour any of them might have had

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Anon:

“BLACKWASHING IS DONE WITH RESPECT AND LOVE FOR A CHARACTER AND THEIR FANDOM.” No, it’s done out of hatred of white people. If you really loved this character, you’d love him or her as a white person. If you can’t love a white character, you are racist.

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Anon:

Re: every single moronic anon screaming "BlAcKwAsHiNg IsN't ReAl YoU'rE jUsT rAcIsT, aNyOnE wHo SaYs AnYtHiNg BaD aBoUt RaCeSwApS oF bLaCk ChArAcTeRs Is RaCiSt! RaCiSt!! RaCiSt!!!": On twitter right now people are throwing a fit over official splatoon art of Marina having a slightly lighter shade of brown than normal. Again. AGAIN. AGAIN!! Miss me with this fucking bullshit! You clowns have said this for a decade now and EVERYONE can see right through you! Every time some artist draws a brown character one hexcode lighter because GOD FORBID ANY OF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LIGHTING EXISTS OR THAT MAYBE PEOPLE WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT SHADES, there's a goddamn TIDAL WAVE of THE STUPIDEST, MOST HATEFUL PEOPLE YOU'LL EVER MEET screaming MUH RACISM at the top of their lungs. Harassing artists minding their own goddamn business (ESPECIALLY if they're from Japan!). Smugly taking the art and darkening with that utterly insufferable "Heh, I fixed it :)))" passive-aggressive attitude. Don't you sit there and fucking lie to me, you little shit. I've been on this hellsite since 2012. I've seen every single one of these """whitewashing""" controversies you neanderthals start and every single one of them has accomplished nothing except drive people away, piss them off, or inspired them to make ACTUAL Whitewashed art to show you what Whitewashing actually looks like and also to MOCK YOU. This is not pissing on my leg and telling me it's rain, this is grabbing ten of your buddies, telling them chug a gallon of water, circle around me, whip out your cocks, shower me in gold and then casually mock me for not taking an umbrella because "oh man it's so stormy out :)" Also Japanese twitter has had enough of your shit and they're criticizing you for acting this way and then shamelessly redrawing their characters as being black and acting like that's how they're """supposed""" to be because Asians just aren't """POC""" enough for you. Don't ever call anyone a "Colonizer" again, because that kind of shit is GENUINE Colonizer mindset because you self-righteous shitheads disrespect other cultures and can't leave people the fuck alone. THAT is why people get mad at you. It's not racism. It's NEVER been racism; it's because you're all insufferable twits who harass everyone around you over NOTHING and then have the GALL to be FLAGRANT HYPOCRITES ABOUT IT with an obvious double standard! Build a bridge and get the FUCK over yourselves!

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(Mod note: I'm unsure if this was intended as an independent submission or a response to the same problem, I'm assuming it's a response due to the timing and am posting as such.)

Anon:

One thing I find EXTREMELY odd about a fandom I am in surrounding an anime I like is the racewashing/blackwashing art, now I'm not gonna get into my opinions on racewashing because wether you support it or not you have to admit what I'm about to say seems really dodgy In this anime there are multiple main characters of mixed race, majority of them being half european half japanese, I'm not sure how much representation of mixed people there are in anime but I can only really think of 3 anime where there are main mixed race characters, most of them only having 1 or 2 mixed race characters, but the anime I am talking about has about 4 mixed race main characters For some reason this fandom absolutely loves to racewash these mixed race characters and barely does it to any other characters. They always make them fully black (not even blasian) and they say they do it to add "more black representation" to the anime Now there are many reasons I find this dodgy, 1 being that of course they only ever do this with the mixed race characters, (or at the very least these are the most popular characters to do this to) not the fully asian characters, not the fully white characters, not to any character of any other race/ethnicity, not even the non human characters who don't have a canonical race/ethnicity, only the mixed race characters Apparently a lot of other fanbases with half white half japanese main characters have these problems too, and a lot of real life mixed people say that the people who only ever racewash mixed characters imply that these characters are "too white for them", which is of course a very racist thing to say about mixed race people who are half white Another reason I find this odd is that, A. A lot of the anime is set in Japan, so of course a lot of the characters will be Japanese or half Japanese, and I'm not saying that there aren't black people in Japan, but obviously majority of the people who live in Japan are Japanese B. There are black characters in the anime! Main characters too, now I can't speak on how good the representation is as I'm not black, but from what I can tell a lot of black people love this anime and the black characters (not to mention a lot of the people I see who racewash the mixed characters are not black, most I see are white people) so I don't see the need to add more representation to the anime by racewashing non black characters, let alone racewashing the mixed race characters who also seem to have a small amount of representation in anime. Like at the very least if someone wanted to race swap a character they'd do it with one of the many white characters and not the mixed race characters, or at the very very least they'd make the mixed race characters blasian and not fully black, or draw the non human characters who don't have canonical races as humans and make them black or any race they want, like I don't get why they're so obsessed with making mixed half white half asian people fully black In conclusion: this whole thing just confuses me and gives off extremely dodgy and racist vibes

[jxckchxmpi0n]

Hii love congrats on 200 followers I was wondering if I could request a spider man Ethan Landry x female reader where he takes care of his drunk girlfriend

Thank you, love 🕸🕷that means so much to me!! I hope you enjoy this 🌼

Drunk Love

Summary: Spiderman! Ethan takes care of his drunk girlfriend. || m.list

Word count: 1.8k

Warning: Fluff! little angst swearing, drinking, throwing up mentions of NSFW 🫶

update: college is kicking my ass, but break is going to be here soon!!!

did not proof read

ALSO NEW THEME!!!

It was girls' night which meant drunk confessions and dumb middle school games in the living room of the Carpenter sisters' apartment.

As much as the boys thought it was unfair getting thrown out, they planned to have their own fun night, which was sitting in their apartment living room yelling at a flat screen tv over the video game of the hour.

Everyone at this point had found out Ethan your boyfriend was Spiderman, he told them about a year into taking on the role, when he had told them Mindy had stood up shouting "YES! you owe me twenty bucks Chad" everyone had laughed about it and seemed not surprised.

Months had passed and everyone got used to the disappearances of Ethan, but for you it was hard. You always missed him, you felt like you never saw him. Between classes and working, your schedule never matched with his. The occasional nights where he'd slip in through your window would be a treat, but it was never enough.

It was already passed midnight, the drinks were getting stronger, and the music was getting louder.

"Alright y/n we all answered now it's your turn! Where's the weirdest place you've had sex." Mindy stood in the doorway of the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and grape juice in her hand. Everyone was giggling at the question as your face was blushing.

You looked up acting like you were thinking of it, Sam and Tara were sitting on the couch trying to guess places, Anika was making some snacking and drinks with Mindy.

Setting your drink on the coffee table you laughed to yourself finally landing on a place, it weirdest and it's definitely not a normal place. "Ethan wanted to take me on a date around the city, but Spiderman style. So, we went swinging around and then at some point he made this web between some random buildings, and we could look at the stars and well you know one thing led to another."

Tara, and Sam's mouth hung open, "no fucking way you had sex in the middle of the sky on a fucking spider web!!" Everyone's eyes were wide open looking at you as if you told them your darkest secret.

"I mean it's not that bad, its honestly really comfortable plus Ethan he-"Mindy's voice cut you off as she came back into the room with drinks, Anika followed holding the snacks.

"No, we don't need to hear anything about Ethan, I can't look at him other than the shy nerdy boy" you laughed and kept the rest to yourself.

After a good hour or so Tara was knocked out, Mindy and Anika were going to walk back to their place and Sam was going to head to Danny's place across the street. Your mind was racing, and your body felt so hot and warm.

Your mind had thought about Ethan, your heart ached so much at the thought of not seeing him right now. Pulling out your phone you thought about texting him.

The boys had taken a little bit of a break from the game to talk, Chad wanted to talk about how things were going with Tara when ethan felt his phone buzz. Grabbing it from the counter he read a message from you.

pretty girl <3

'baby i miss youu so muh! like i wantto see you!'

'oh i think im just druk'

'your withchad illl leaave you alone'

'im srry'

'i love you baby haha bug boy i miss you'

He smiled looking at the messages, he thought it was cute anytime you were drunk. If you weren't together you would spam his phone in love notes, it was his favorite thing.

bugg boy 🕷

'my love are you okay?'

'Do you want me to come get you? I don't mind!'

'Baby you don't have to bee sorry, you know I love these messages!!'

'Pretty girl, I'm heading over!'

Chad had been fine with Ethan leaving, that had also given him a reason to see his girlfriend. Taking Ethan's car they drove to the girls' apartment, they didn't worry about knocking since it was their second home.

Walking in Chad could see Tara curled up in the couch chair, Ethan's landed on you. You were laying down on your stomach face buried into the couch half hanging off. Chad walked to Tara talking to her softly, he got her up and guided her to her room.

Ethan sat on the ground next to the couch, his hand softly rubbing your back. "My love, I'm here. How are you feeling?" You felt the warmth of his hand through your shirt, the sound of his voice so low and soft made your heart flip.

You raised your head slightly already smiling, "bug boy, my bug boy" You pushed yourself off of the couch making the rest of your body slide into his lap. "ugh I missed you" he chuckled as he felt you shove your face in his neck.

"How drunk are you?" you giggled at his question, something about it seemed funny. Ethan pushed his body up so he could take a look at you.

You laid in his lap with your eyes half closed, "you're so beautiful. Like yes, you're hot but like also so beautiful, with your curly fluffy hair oohh and your freckles- your freckles are so pretty and your eyes- godd I'm so in love with you" Your arms wrapped around his waist, your face buried in his chest under his jacket a little.

His face burning red with your confession. "My love as much as I love hearing you say you love me; we need to get you to bed. Let's get you home-"

"Your bed. I want your bed, it smells like you, and if you aren't there when I wake up at least I have your sheets that have your smell" You nodded to yourself as you thought out loud, Ethan wasn't meant to hear that, but You couldn't control what you were saying right now.

"Fine, we will go to my place." Your face lit up at the agreement. He helped you stand up only for you to tumble, "Okay, hold on." he turned around, so his back was facing your chest. "Can you jump up?"

He squatted down more, so it wasn't such a big jump. Your hands rested loosely on his shoulders. You jumped as much as you could, and his hands grabbed the back of your thigh, pulling you up. He jumped himself a little so you could get on his back comfortably.

He checked on Chad and Tara and saw they were good and then made his way back to the car. You were half asleep on his back, mumbling little things to yourself. "Bug boy is my boyfriend, I love bug boy, how am I moving?"

He laughed at your little comments. You're going to have a rough morning tomorrow. He made it back to the car and placed you on the passenger side, leaning in. He was trying to buckle you in, but you grabbed his face, pulling him to you. Your lips met his, and he could taste the cheap liquor. "Mmm, I love being able to do that." Your words were slurred, but he could understand you.

After a solid thirty minutes, you reached Ethan's apartment. He carried you in and set you on the corner of his bed, running to the kitchen he got water, and as he turned to the sink, he felt his spider tingles go off. The next thing he heard was you saying "oh oh" he ran back to the room to see you stumbling into the bathroom. Making it just in time to the toilet he grabbed your hair as you felt all the alcohol make its way back up.

"Its okay baby let it out" he felt bad he couldn't do more to help you, he hated seeing you like this.

His hand ran up and down your back, as you sat there for a few more minutes. "I'm fine, I swear, Ethan I'm good" your voice was echoing from the inside of the bowl.

"Do you need to throw up anymore?" his voice was soft and filled with concern.

You shook your head, leaning up from the toilet. he grabbed your wrist taking a hair tie from you. Pulling your hair back he made a sloppy bun.

Picking you up he sat you on the lid edge of the tub, resting your back on the wall you watched him. He flushed the toilet and cleaned around it with the mess you made and seeing him clean just made something in you sad.

"Oh god Ethan I'm so sorry- I'm sorry I made a mess on your-" before you could finish, he reached over cupping your face.

"Hey, hey, look at me it's okay. I don't mind, it's a little bit of puck but who cares. I'm here to take care of you, okay. Don't be sorry, any excuse to take care of my love I will do anything" he kissed the top of your head. Your face was even more flushed from his words.

"I need to brush my teeth and take my makeup off" you tried to get up but felt Ethan's webs stick to your wrist.

"No. Sit down. I will do it" his voice was stern yet loving.

He turned around with a makeup wipe remover already in hand, kneeling down he grabbed your face pulling it down to look at him. The coldness of the wipe made you gasp but then hum, the feeling of his hand on your face made you lean into his touch.

You looked at him, seeing the moles you love so much scattered over his face. The brown eyes you fell in love with, then your eyes landed on a scar on his right eyebrow. Your lips formed into a frown as you reached out and touched it.

Ethan took notice as your face was full of sadness. "what's wrong pretty girl?"

"I don't like you going out at nighttime fighting, I don't want you to go out one night and not return. I miss you." He saw the tears in your eyes build up.

He didn't know how to answer at first, his hand still resting on your face while the other hand wiped your makeup. "I'm sorry, pretty girl. I didn't realize you felt like this. How about we talk about this more in the morning."

Your eyes were getting heavy as each minute passed, mindlessly nodding your head already forgetting the conversation. Ethan then helped you somewhat brush your teeth and get to bed, where a glass of water sat waiting for you on the nightstand.

Chugging half of it you climbed into bed smiling, "mmmh smells like my boyfriend" you grabbed his pillows burying your face in them. Ethan couldn't help but laugh at your actions.

He followed you into his bed, lying next to you, his arms wrapped around you pulling you closer. Your face buried into his neck as you moved to get comfortable. "I have the best boyfriend, ha-ha, spiider-man, my bug boy" he felt you lightly kissing his neck before sleep fully took over your body.

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

May I request fluffy and romantic headcanons for protective Eclipse (Sun and Moon Show/Lunar and Earth Show) with a clingy female reader with she/her pronouns? <3 please and thank you! Have a lovely day ❤️

×A/N×

Well of course you can! I'm more than happy to write about Eclipse! ^-^

I just adore him! <3

Thank you for requesting and have a wonderful day you too! ❤

×❢ About my work ❢×

fluff, he/they pronouns for Eclipse, fem! Reader, literally no warnings, Eclipse is just being protective about his partner

Requested by: @ssunnybee

Fandom: The Sun and Moon Show

Character(s): Eclipse, You| (Y/N) |The Reader, Dark Sun (mentioned), Bloodmoon (mentioned), Ruin (mentioned), Sun (mentioned), Moon (mentioned), Earth (mentioned)

Ship(s): Eclipse / Reader

Form: Headcanons

[The artwork is not mine! The credit goes to @//kiwi_artz!]

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒉𝒄𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑬𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒚 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• WAIT- before we begin I just want to congratulate about you managed to brought him into a relationship! Good job homie! Okay, no we can start it:

• There are some times that Eclipse gets jealous, however, your health is more important to him than his stupid feelings. Don't get me wrong, he gives you freedom, he won't overreact and he isn't paranormal. It's nothing toxic.

• However, he can get a little overprotective. I mean- do you blame him? Many people left him and betrayed him. He would be alone again without you. He is so happy and greatful that you're here, he doesn't want to lose you (or you to leave him). He also knows that this dimension has a lot of trouble and danger. He just wants to make sure of your safety...

• He usually doesn't let you go on missions. If he does, then he'll be very stubborn to come with you.

• "Leave this one for Sun and Moon, okay? You don't need to be there, hon."

• Also, I don't really recommend to go missions without telling him. You can lose a lot of his trust for you.

• He's not an outgoing guy. He mostly spends his time in his lab, around Earth or in the house of yours two.

• But when it comes to you, he'll be right beside you. (Dude he is in whole f-cking body guard mod/jk) Ruin and Bloodmoon are currently out somewhere and they already kidnapped and hurt others. Do you think it's safe for you to just walk alone around the pizzaplex? No. And don't forget about Dark Sun.

• He's willing to do everything for you. He'll even die like for the fifth time if he has to.

• He often ignores his feelings and he's sarcastic at times, but honestly this just makes him more entertaining.

• "Why did you came after me, Eclipse? I just went to buy a drink."

"Why? Because you didn't came back in atleast 10 minutes and you didn't answer my calls either! That's why! Now let's go back, I have drinks stored away."

• Also, now that I've mentioned calls, don't forget to check his messages! I think Eclipse would be that kind of boyfriend who needs to know where their partner's at. You got home safely? You're stopping by some shop? You'll hang out with someone? Please send a message to him!

• If you're on a trip, he'll call you often and and he'll probably won't be able to stop himself from saying that how muh he missed you (please say it back to him). Also, he might become a bit cuddly and touchy too! Oh, and he'll be very upset if he can't go with you, but he won't show that.

"Aww, were you worried for me this much? You're cute!" You said as you gave him small kisses. He didn't react anything, however, you couldn't ignore the sounds of his fans made — they're probably turning faster to keep Eclipse cool.

"Yeah?! I would gladly see how you would handle it if I was gone!" Eclipse spoke between the kisses as he wrapped his arms around your hips, pulling you more close to him. He clearly missed you, and he just couldn't live without the feeling of your small body against his anymore.

• He doesn't like socializing that much and he is more than tensed if random strangers start to chat with you. He'll become extremely upset and angry if the person doesn't want to leave you alone and they just keep bothering or start to touch your body without your permission. He'll most likely try to keep you close and frown at the person. *sigh* Why they have to be such a creeps...

(At the end please tell him he did good and you feel safer now!)

• He'll come with you, if you take night walks

• If there's something or someone that makes you uncomfortable to come out, he'll more than happy to take you by your hand and reside you

• Like I said, he usually calls you instead of watching you by cameras wherever you go, but if you're at the pizzaplex, where cameras all around the place, he'll use them. Don't get me wrong, he won't stalk you, however he checks them every now and then.

• Since the reader is clingy, I don't think he would mind your clinginess. He loves you very much and he wants to show it.

• However, do not take it too far! If you become too obsessed with him, he won't like that. He wants to be loved like a person, and not being treated by some occupied creep.

Please respect him, and show him affection and patience!

[hyolks]

(TW: BODY/ORGANS/NEEDLES!!)

Yo! So I was scrolling down your posts and found the one about Al’s ever-increasing automail body and how you are unsure how many of his organs could be replaced and… I have personal experience with that! What a lovely thing, to go through organ failure and have it be worth it if I can pass on that experience for the sake of ✨semi-realism-maybe-if-you-squint✨

My pancreas failed. Entirely. I have to manually give myself insulin every time I eat, and do calculations for it all; I can eat pretty much anything, but it comes at a price. Something something “equivalent exchange” one might even say.

But anyway, I basically have a mechanical pancreas with a remote control! I inject a 7 day supply of insulin into it with a syringe, and I tell it how much and how frequently to inject manually. It can inject into any spot on the body with a thick enough fat layer, usually stomach, thighs, the flabby parts of your upper arm, etc… note: I was 90lbs when I first went into organ failure, you do not have to be any particular body type/size for this to work.

It’s a very simple concept for the machine, and very simple/limited commands. You could even combine the controller with it and make it so there’s a switch/buttons directly on the injection site that have pre-determined doses.

Insulin has to be kept temperature controlled when in storage too, so that’s a cool thing you could mess around with if he has to keep more than a week supply on him. (This can honestly also just be ignored if it’s too complicated ‘^-^)

Insulin is a hormone, basically a command to tell your body to do something. So this can be applied to certain parts of the brain as well!

I don’t know if this’ll help, or if you’ve already found other inspirations that conflict with it, I just thought “hey, this Al makes me feel a little less alone in the world, if I can project a piece of me onto him I’d be really happy”.

Sorry if that’s presumptuous or weird of me to do >~<

OH MY GOSH DW DW THANK YOU SO MUH FOR SENDING THIS!!!! I SINCERELY APPRECIATE IT !!! i know its very strange to say but i love reading stuff like this and this was truly incredible to receive :")

medication/suppliments 1000% slipped my mind like i cant even BELIEVE it how much i forgot to consider it. i knew that going through an organ transplant also entailed needing to take medication to keep your body from rejecting it, but thats about where i stop with knowledge about regarding organ replacements,, but that is so interesting in your case with how much control and calculation is needed?? I also never thought about how truly indepth/technical mechanical organs would need to be!! especially since our organs just casually do the things they do and having a machine mimic it is more than just hitting "go" ...!! if you dont mind me asking how does it like stay powered, i guess ? :O

THE PRESSURE THAT WOULD BE ADDED IF THEY HAD TIME CONSTRAINTS BC OF MEDICATION..... OOOOOO.... especially with the temperature control.... them traveling through the desert would be so much more perilous !! I really will haveta figure out what he would be taking, if it were insulin or some almagomation (that included insulin of course) that could provide him the nutrients he would be missing out on because his lack of ability to eat/digest food...?

the handwavy science of canon that allows automail to work via nerve connections for motor control definitely like. eases the load a bit? although most of these organs require more function than just motor control... hmmm... REGARDLESS, thank u so mcuh for bringing up manually providing the body with hormones (and additionally nutrients), because no matter how quote unquote advanced the automail is, it wouldnt be able to actually produce the things he needs... process it, maybe? sure? but cannot produce it...!!

you're genuinely so sweet!!! thank you SO SO SO much for sending this in !! it really means so much to me that you can relate to this Al :")!! even though im probably trying to get tooo realistic with this portrayal (given the fact that al is mostly metal OTL) i dont want to like... not consider the things he would have to go through ? i guess? i cant quite figure out the words for what i want to say, but nonetheless!! <33333 thank you!!!!!

[howlingday]

The Banquet

Nora: WHOA~! What is this stuff?! I've never had anything like it~! (Scarfs food)

Ciel: Incredible... She eats like no one is watching. What confidence...

Ren: No, that's just Nora being Nora.

???: Vulgar peasant...

???: Why would the King invite such low-born filth?

???: I can't ready any aura from her. Is she even a huntress?

???: It's unnatural for a girl her size to put away so much...

???: She eats like a hog and makes twice the sounds...

Nora: (Mouthful) Whoh! Deyr ruru turn inda muh!

Ren: Don't talk with your mouth full, Nora.

???: As I recall, he's a peasant as well, isn't he? Low-born trash who lucked into his place, but doesn't know where he truly resides...

???: But we shouldn't let them distract us from who the truly lowest of the low here is...

Weiss: Isn't that right, Whitley~?

Whitley: Weiss...

Weiss: An embarrassment you are, unable to control your semblance~!

Winter: I'm surprised you had the nerve to come back to Atlas.

Whitley: Winter...

Winter: Getting excited over a single success hardly suits one of the Schnee name.

Willow: YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE, WHITLEY. LEAVE BEFORE YOU TAINT THESE HALLS WITH YOUR FAILURE.

Whitley: M... Mother...

CRUNCH!

Whitley: (Steps away, Held) Huh?

Nora: You're not going anywhere, Whitley.

Whitley: Nora...?

Nora: I thought coming here, I'd meet some pretty strong huntsmen and huntresses. But I'm wrong, huh?

Ciel: !!!

Nora: YOU'RE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF COWARDS! I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, I'M GONNA-

Weiss: (Flicks Myrtenaster)

Nora: (Encased in ice)

Weiss: That's far enough, peasant. A mouse like you should know better than to challenge a Schnee. A beast like you should keep your mouth shut and-

Nora: (Breaks through the ice) YOU CAN'T SHUT ME UP!

Weiss: How did she-?!

Nora: THE ONLY ONES SHUTTING UP HERE ARE ALL OF YOU WHEN I BECOME THE KING OF THE HUNT!

Winter: King...

Weiss: ...of the Hunt?

Nora: Yeah, that's- (Mocked, Ridiculed)

Winter: KNOW YOUR PLACE!

Nora: (Beowolf grabs her, Holds her)

Weiss: Shouting and screaming at a banquet. You're too uncouth for your own good. (Summons Lancer) Physical punishment is beneath us, so it should suit you just fine~! (Launches Lancer)

Whitley: NORA!

Nora: (Smashes through ice with Magnhild, Knocks back Lancer into Weiss)

Weiss: Did... Did you just make me KNEEL?! You vile, repugnant, disgusting, revulsive-

Willow: WEISS.

Weiss: Mother...

Willow: You're repeating yourself, and in front of a peasant, too.

Nora: (Thinking) What's this feeling? I feel like I'm a hundred times smaller than her. It's... It's just like with Miss Raven... SHE'S THE LEADER OF THE ATLAS GOLEMS.

Willow: A peasant who defies her betters... What's the most fitting punishment for her?

[sari-artworks-schyzotypalmind]

Hot take regarding Heihachi Mishima coming back.

I know I said my page was going to be art focused from now on but I need to get this out of my chest.

I´m a veteran Tekken player, since 3 . I basically consumed any Tekken related media too (the mangas, comic books, the animated movie, the CGI movie, the horrible live action one, the anime on Netflix, etc)

Tekken 8 for me was a perfect conclusion for the story. I know that Kaz and Jun had an open ending but it was ok, she is going to take him to wherever she wants, maybe to retire, heal, you get it.

But... the whole clash between Kaz and Heihachi was CLOSED, ended in Tekken 7 in a very emotional manner, it was peak.

In Tekken 8, the final confrontation between Kaz and Jin was INCREDIBLE. I got shivers with Jun stands, T3 Jin theme ost, Angel Jin, etc...

It was cool as it is. It is true that Reina was very disappointing lore wise, I thought she was going to play a bigger role but it was, ok I guess??? leaving an opening to Tekken 9 as her as the main villain probably.

Now, after FINALLY progressing the story for all our main characters we get THE STUPID GRANDPA BACK. Seriously, am I the only one pissed??? it hasn´t even a WHOLE GAME without him. It makes zero sense, it destroys everything that happened during the climax of Tekken 7 and 8. We go back to the starting point. Is getting BORING and tiresome.

I get it... main Heihachi players missed him, cool. MAKE HIM A FLASHBACK.

Heihachi got his own flashback in Tekken 7 along with Kazumi and even though she was dead the whole time, she was still playable. They could have done the same with him.

Kazuya didn´t get ANY flashback of him and Jun in Tekken 2. Why???? Do we even know his aspirations appart from "muh control of the world" . NO. NOTHING.

They could have also bring Jinpachi back as a playable character in a flashback mode telling us about Kazuya childhood. But no... we got CANONICALLY GRANDPA RESURRECTED AGAIN.

Also... isn´t it misogynistic as well???? Jun was missing for +20 years in real time, she didn´t appear canonically since Tekken 2 and the old fart comes back not even one game later.

Same with Kazumi... she HAS THE DEVIL GENE. Heihachi only broke her neck ONCE and she can´t come back ???? COME ONE BAMCO.

Jin and Kazuya have died multiple times and survived others because the Devil Gene allows them to but not for Kazumi???? The true inheritor and probably pure blood devil gene user. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Bruh... honestly. it pisses me off.

On the other hand... Heihachi gets thrown into a volcano, no human being can survive the erosion and melting of the body because of the lava.

Also, I´m pretty sure Heihachi didn´t gave her a proper shinto burial. She came out of a volcano in arcade mode, so Im 100% sure he just tossed her body along with the tiger into the lava. According to Shintoism, if someone doesn´t get a proper burial, they can come back as a vengeful ghost. So she can be brought back as well, not only as an evil ghost but also BECAUSE SHE HAD THE FUCKING DEVIL GENE.

I love Tekken lore to the core and Namco has just killed any progression the story had.

[soullessjack]

listen i get your frustration about how people treat jack, i hate when people reducd him down to just a destiel baby too. but as an autistic person myself, i really disagree with you calling people that like baby jack ableist. he's canonically 4 years old and had to have his childhood basically stripped away from him due to how dangerous it was. i don't think people enjoying the thought of him getting to have that chance at a happy childhood is as cruel and evil as you seem to think.

hi, I’m actually going to answer this differently than I did at first, because I feel like I missed the point and spent way too much time on the canon logistics of “giving Jack a childhood that he chose to skip and is never shown to want,” or that he’s actually pretty obviously portrayed as a teenager in the show, or that his character fundamentally revolves around autonomy & the struggle to have it, and not enough on the actual ableism. I’m also going to be a lot meaner this time, sorry.

honestly, you don’t get my frustrations. you don’t get that this isn’t some petty fandom drama about “muh fav being misunderstood” or “grr this content bad.” you don’t get my frustration if you think that’s all there is to any of this. this is something with an actual bearing on reality and the entire topic of representation in general, which you’d get if you took your head out of your ass and looked around for once. autistic people are still immensely underrepresented and misrepresented in most mainstream media. we are still seen and treated as circus animals, as punchlines, as lesser humans if not subhumans, and we have to face that alongside navigating a world that is wholly and systemically unnavigable to us. fiction and fandoms are an escape for many people, but especially marginalized people who long for community and representation.

the autistic community has a pretty long history of resonating with nonhuman characters in fiction over time, from robots to aliens to monsters in horror movies. because whether it’s their mannerisms or specific struggles or even narrative experiences, they resonate with us. jack resonates with us. he’s important to us as autistic people—and namely, as autistic adults who very rarely see ourselves represented in ways that don’t depict us as gross man-children, infantilized precious beans or emotionless geniuses. in fact, the very notion that autistic people are inherently childlike or mentally children directly leads into our sole representation being children, and even more into the treatment of us as “precious small beans.” does that ring any fucking bells to you yet?

jack might not have been intentionally written with autism or representation on mind, but this fandom literally builds itself up on coding and unintentional implications. he was also confirmed to be autistic anyways, so anyone still whining should just grow the fuck up about it. also, ironically, most accidentally autistic characters end up being the best kind lmao. but these discussions? these analyses by autistic fans —and even just fans who actually care about his complexities — only exist within our own little circles, and the idea of baby!jack is very much the fandom’s steadfastly going mainstream version of him—so much so that people are convinced it’s actually canon, they die on that hill like it’s some obligation to uphold. and any viewing of his canon character with nuance or complexity, or even his basic personality, is left to gather dust. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s over-saturating and supersedes actual canon. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s actually fucking harmful.

it’s frustrating as a general fan, but downright upsetting as an autistic fan who sees themself in him and has to witness every fucking day — in a community that prides itself on being a big found family no less — the infantilization of traits I and other autistic people express, and the stubborn justification of him being “actually a toddler” with even more autistic traits. There are literal scraps of canon adult Jack content to engage with; of any semi-intelligent thoughts on him to indulge in.

what you don’t get (or you refuse to get) that there is a direct correlation between all of this, the way jack is treated (ie ‘reduced to a destiel baby’) and the ableist infantilization surrounding his character. as in, this content directly feeds into his treatment, which then feeds back into the content made of him, which then feeds back again into his treatment in a horrible and exhausting cycle.

what you don’t get is that constantly regurgitating content where the baseline is jack being actively stripped of his identity and autonomy for the sake of becoming an accessory to Destiel/Sastiel/the Domestic Winchester Family is inherently rooted in layers of deep ableist rhetoric, and you can perpetuate all of that even without any intent for it. I’m not a fucking moron, and I’m not the big bad guy you’re talking to me like. I don’t think anyone who enjoys baby!jack is inherently “cruel” or “evil,” or turning jack into a baby while thinking “this’ll stick one to those retards,” and twirling their moustache, okay? and it’s really so funny to me that you’re trying to point the finger back at me. at least you tried.

what you don’t get is that whenever autistic fans voice our perspective on baby!jack, we’re fucking ignored. we’re fed the same rotten slop over and over and over again. “But we want him to be happy!” “But it’s an AU, it’s not canon!” “But he actually is a baby because XYZ!” “But, but!” Buts are not an argument, they’re the thing you still haven’t found a way to pull your heads out of. maybe the lack of oxygen from so many people in one small dark space is why you’re so fucking stubborn to understand this.

you wanna know what is cruel? being told that you are doing something hurtful, something harmful and something that painfully reflects real life struggles a real community goes through, and shrugging it off. being aware of the value something brings to someone else, and stripping it away simply because it doesn’t matter to you personally. finding another But or a corner-cut to excuse yourself from blame. you didn’t have the decency to listen when general fans said “hey this is kind of annoying can we treat him like an actual person,” and you don’t even have the decency to concede when autistic people are saying this is a deeply wrong thing to do.

if you have to ignore an entire community’s voice to feel better about the content you’re making that directly hurts them, if you don’t personally think it’s harmful or even real because autistic struggles are never real, then I am well within reason to assume you’re not a good person. it’s one thing to do something wrong because you’re uninformed, and it’s another thing entirely to continue to do that when you’ve been informed, and simply decided that it wasn’t worth changing or stopping.

believe me, as an autistic person I am well used to being isolated, to not being anyone’s priority in this capitalistic circle of hell. I am ready to expect my struggles and existence to be tokenized for somebody else to feel good, or squeeze money from. Im used to seeing movies portray my experience as some Manic Pixie Star-seed or creepy overgrown child. I know the world doesn’t care about me. But I don’t think I’m asking too much for this, the big found family fandom that’s been shown to care so much about every other problem, to care about me. To listen when it’s hurting me, or uplift something I care about.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything less than this family to actually treat me like I am part of it. But can you even do that?

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

I'm an oldster in this fandom, relatively speaking. started playing in 2020. I remember when the msc mod became hush-hush. i remember when Hunter was the favorite. i remember when shipping was scarce, a cute little side thing no one minded. there was so much more room to live and breathe the real language of the game. The depth of the lore and the characters was boundless. i remember the day the official discord server hit 15k members.

I love Downpour. I love everything downpour brings to the story of the game (except one thing, fuck Survivor OE ending. it ruins the campaign). I fully believe Downpour is canon, I believe Downpour successfully expands on everything set up in Vanilla. I'm beyond grateful i was able to experience Rain World truly Vanilla, and see the world and characters deepen and expand in such thought provoking and significant ways. Downpour is good. I dont even think the campaigns are that overpowered. With the exception of Gourmand and Rivulet, i think the DP campaigns have really high skill floors, with ceilings even higher. i think it's fine. and i dont care because the stories are worth it.

No, my issue is with the community, the fandom, if you will. I am as gay and allo as it gets. Fuck the shipping scene in this fandom. its fucking oppressive, its boring, surface level junk that actively detracts from the depth of the game. iterator shipping i can tolerate, i still dont mind, its the fucking slugcats. shipping Artificer and Hunter is stupid because they dont live at the same time, arti is probably dead by the time Hunter is made. shipping Artificer and Saint is mega stupid, arti definitely died! i think all these characters, slugs included, have fascinating parallels and reltionships ripe with conflict and intrigue, there's tons to talk about but no who fucking cares, muh fucking artihunter look theyre red and orange they're lesbians. enormous groan. if it was just a silly joke, i wouldnt care, but it's way too much of the fandom now and it blows chunks. unfortunately i love and respect canon too much to be willing to fucking obliterate it as required to actually engage with the slugcat shipping.

i miss when you could just talk about the lore and not have to throw in a big caution sign that you do actually think downpour is canon and good, sorry fellow old guard. i miss when you could just talk about the characters and not have to throw in a big caution sign that you take the game seriously and not as fodder for shipping or warrior cats oc bait.

it begs the question: why are you 1.9 people here? are you here because you love this game for what it is? or are you here just for the fandom? dont ruin this for me like you did to undertale.

- Sliverist

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[gr00vyminibus]

BLACK ORCHID

Nomi x black fem

You've been talking to Nomi for some months and really have deep feelings for her but you can't unshake this sense thats she's hiding something. The longer she wants to keep it away from you the bigger she tears your relationship apart. Will she save it or allow you both to fully disconnect from eachother?

Will include: angst, suggestive scenes, stalker activities, this was split into two parts since it was so long all together but thats basically all for this section. Kinda fast paced and proofread

Taglist: @zeezeecave @mybonafidefeelings @masterajoy314 @xenaizogie @blacksapphhicmaddonna @scribblecake

Alsoo!! Happy birthday to my wife <333 a thousand, million, trillion billion kisses!! 😘😘😘

She knows everything about you.

Yet sometimes, you sit and think at night. Slowly giving life to a trecherous fear that you didn't know much about Nomi herself.

She wanted to keep a few things confidential from you and you respected that but the excuses to leave for weeks, even fly over seas, and come back with a blind eye to your suppressed melancholy like nothing happened started to aggrivate you.

She couldn't have missed it, it was often hid lazily behind your polite guise when she greeted your baby. All you could do was worry and painfully ache at the thought of her going again, leaving you to keep reassuring your one year old daughter that nomi had places to be.

Sometimes you would try to pry but the way she effortlessly ushered you into another topic was astounding. Nomi undoubtedly had a shit ton of secrets and you had to confront her about them if she wanted to love and be around you as someone more than a good friend..

"I hope when you get older, you're able to tell me anything." You stroked your daughters small curls as she gnawed on her fist, she garbled incoherent sounds but her doe eyes were glued to you like she was partially listening.

Laosa was your world, your hearts capacity, your biggest reason to breathe everyday. You'd do anything for her well being and if you had to cut some certain people off, so be it.

"Ghhh.. grrrhh.." she flailed her arms and twisted back and forth as you furrowed your brows and held her hips, "What's up, hm?"

"Muh mii.." she looked at the front door and leaned against the back of your thighs while gnawing on her fist again.

"Are you saying mommy?" You smiled, fingers gliding across her stomach as she giggled aloud. Screaming in the midst while she squirmed and you eventually stopped to let laosa lay against your chest as you focused back on your movie.

You knew Laosa wasn't going to nap unless you continued rubbing her back so while you both shared a night alone in your cozy apartment, no disturbments.

A sudden knock had came. In the wee hours of the night.

You snapped your head to the door, feeling an exhausted anger draw out with your deep exhale.

"Who in the world could be at my damn door this late." You looked at your baby and carefully took her in your arms, hand coming over her ear so it could muffle your strides and anything else that could potentially wake her up. You reached the front door and squinted in the peep hole.

Feeling an eminent shock halt everything in your body like a hiccup. Nomi leaned against the wall opposite from your apartment door in a long trenchcoat. Seemingly in deep thought as she remained still and waiting.

Normally she came with a notice and during the daytime but for her to show up like this with nothing but a bag on her person was strange.

"The hell.." you mumbled, but her eyes drifted up from their initial spot on the ground, darting to the very bottom of your apartment door as she momentarily pinched her eyebrows together. Could she hear you?

".... might as well." You sighed and situated laosa on your hip as you went to open the door. Nomi's figure straightened up as the locks began moving and then the door cracked, revealing you.

She smiled faintly, mouth parting to say.

"Hey."

"Hey?" You whispered in confusion as she pushed herself off the wall and approached you just before the threshold.

"Um," she sighed shaking her head. "I should have texted you but my phone got broken during this accident so..." you furrowed your brows.

"What'd you get yourself into now." Your eyes trail up her figure as she chuckled but nothing in the world seemed funny at this moment.

"Car crash actually." You gasped softly, door widening as she glanced at the interior of your home just wanting fall inside for a good night, she returned her tired gaze to you.

"A-are you hurt?"

"Shoulder's a bit sore but I'm fine really." She assured in coaxing deep tone, making you both blend into a silence of distant cars and quiet crickets.

"Well, come in." You turned on your heel and made way for nomi to follow you as she shut the door and remained behind you like a shadow.

Even while you carefully placed laosa in her crib, kissing her on the forehead while tucking her in a blanket that might be tugged off later in the night but for now your baby was safe and warm.

You rubbed her silky young hair and muttered a sweet affirmation into her ear before leaning up and sighing. Nomi took her bag off, eyes not leaving the resting baby girl.

"Can I kiss her goodnight."

Something inside you got effected at how she mumbled that request, almost as if she needed it.

"Yeah, I'm going to head to bed." You walked out of the room and she watched your figure retreat around the corner, afterwards walking to the edge of the crib where laosa's head laid.

Smiling softly at her little beads of hair because it reminded her of her own. She leaned down to laosa and kissed her temple. Just existing in her presence was slowly dominating her fear of being close with the people she loved.

It was scary to hold you at night and realize you were sound asleep while she stayed awake and stared at nothing. Just waiting for something unexpectant, a built in mode of survival engraved into the marrow of her bones.

It was scary to feel a plethora of things just because you smiled at her and treated her like a nice human being. Not knowing that she could change into the complete opposite.

It was scary to surrender. To allow the two most precious things in the world to possess her once idle beating heart.

But although nomi was scared, she wasn't a coward. And she'd die before abandoning the both of you. That was a commitment she agreed with internally.

Eventually she left the room quietly while shutting the door and made her way to your room, the door was cracked but she knocked anyway and when you granted her permission nomi caught you in the midst of sliding into bed.

You were silent tonight. Very concisely worded and it was one of the things on her list that were rated as torture. So as always she asked you how you felt, "are you angry with me?" You sighed and turned on your side with the cover pulled over.

"I have nothing to be angry about."

"But you are." She got comfortable under the covers once she shed off her trechcoat and made her feet bare.

"Am not." The agent completely disregarded your defense and rolled on her stomach just behind you, head looming above your ear.

"If you want to talk we can talk. You're not tired." She stated from the fact that you haven't stopped shaking your leg. Its just the thing you do when your up, but drifting between laziness.

"Nomi." You turned around as she raised her brows and tilted her head.

"Hm?"

Go to sleep. Thats what you should have said but you didn't. She grew unsure of your stretched pause, the rush of blood in her body making her wound ache but she was still as stone. Deep eyes switching between your own.

"What is it, y/n." You contemplated shortly before answering.

"How did you get in that car crash?" She then looked weirdly dull. Eyes wandering from your own to glance at something blankly.

"The person who hit me was a reckless driver. Isn't that the main cause of every car accident?" She slowly fluttered her lashes at you and furrowed her brows.

"Tell me about it?" You rise up against the headboard as she cautiously followed suit.

"Well, I was driving on my way to you actually before someone hit me from the side during a speed chase. The impact caused me to slam into the drivers door."

"And what's the condition on your shoulder?"

Nomi bit her lip and let a sort of silence stretch until she was comfortable responding back, "that's not how my shoulder got messed up."

"... can I see?" She puts a hand infront of you in a halting manner, wordlessly unbuttoning her shirt with one hand.

"I got it. Let me." You offered and she was going to protest but your hands had already gently eased her own off and finished the task, having the shirt ready to be pealed back.

Your fingertips traced the bandage around the upper joint of her limb and gently pressed around, above, near the edge of her right armpit and then finally in the middle. Nomi hissed immediately, discomfort taking her feautures for a moment.

"So its right there, is it a spring, twist, bone out of place?"

"It's... more like a gun shot wound." She shrugged with one shoulder before pulling her shirt back on.

"Who shot you?!" You slightly raised your voice as she closed her eyes and pressed her index finger to her lips. Listening out for laosa's potential cries. Then she reopened them and dragged them from the bedroom door to your face.

"I'll make it short."

"Make it clear." you demanded, a douse of anger that hid in your silence finally jumped into your tone. Nomi sighed.

"The police caught up with the other car, they ended up crashing with me and while I exited my vehicle.. I was blindly shot. That's all that happened, darling." You stared into her eyes, a soft frown etched into your feautures that she didn't appreciate one bit, but she believed she could fix it.

"So.. can we sleep together tonight? I haven't laid with you.." Nomi leaned closer to your body and wrapped her good arm around your waist, connecting your foreheads.

"In weeks." You take a deep breath and crossed your hands in your lap.

"Please?"

"... yeah.." you let go of it tonight, telling the inner voices in your head to shut up about the fact that you may be sensing Nomi isn't telling you the whole truth.

"That's my girl." Your bodies lower back into the bed as she welcomes you on her chest and you try you best to avoid applying more weight to her right shoulder.

Though the next morning, doesn't turn out like you expect.

You hear the television and sounds of cheesy nursery rhymes frolicking throughout the place. And there's a smell in the air, pleasant, delicious yet different from you normally whip up in the kitchen. You inhale with relief.

She's still here.

That old smile of yours started to form on your face as you turned in the pillows. Now you're eased onto your stomach and lying there undisturbed.

But suddenly the door creaked open and seeing as you're awake, you decide to easedrop.

"There. There goes your mommy all knocked out and sleeping sound, try not to wake her up yeah?" Nomi whispered as she bounced your baby girl on her hip and comfortingly let her small hand squeeze her thumb. Her doe eyes were glued to you.

"Satisfied little spy?" Laosa did a sort of wobbly nod as she squirmed on Nomi's hip and held her thumb harder. The woman raised her brows.

"Back in the living room I suppose." Nomi glanced at the lump in the sheets and quietly closed the door as you continued 'sleeping'. A short chuckle left you, fingers coming to wipe your eyes of any residue while you sat up.

Your arms dropped to bed and then flung the covers off so you could go to the bathroom and freshen up. Once you reached the living room you saw Nomi writing on a note pad while multitasking with spoon feeding Laosa.

She squished Nomi's forearm and took the spoon of baby food with a gurgle before softly falling back in the seat.

Nomi underlined a few things with haste and sensed someone approaching, eyes drifting up to the sight of you in your long gown and it made her marvel, "Good morning, Darling."

"Good morning, thanks for feeding laosa" you sighed gently was going sit on seat next to the woman but one of her arms hooked around your waist and eased you onto her lap. You parted your lips to say something and she stared up at you with faux innocence.

"You're welcome. Does that earn me a kiss?"

"Don't know?" Her arm flexed to hold you tighter and you could feel her plump lips pressing into the bare skin of your shoulder blades and neck.

"Stop being stubborn." she rasped in your ear as you shifted on her lap. Instinctively pressing back into her embrace. Nomi raised her hand to turn your chin so she could kiss you, but just as your mouths was centimeters away a wet glob landed on Nomi's temple.

She leaned back as you did aswell and gaped at the orange mess dripping down her face. Nomi shook her head and grabbed a few napkins off the table to wipe her skin. You laughed loudly while she chuckled.

"Not funny."

"Lala doesn't think mimi deserves a kiss?" You cooed at your baby and escaped from nomi to pick her up from the high seat as she giggled.

Nomi sat while looking between the both of your faces as something bright swelled within her heart. The feeling all too familiar.

"Your plate of breakfast is on the counter, I'm going to take a shower" Nomi snapped out of her trance and excused herself with fake irritation.

Once she was out of sight you did reprimand the newborn with a whisper before setting her down somewhere she could play.

The breakfast Nomi made was pretty good, she never failed a dish anyway. It tracked all the way back to the second date at her apartment when nomi cooked for you. She looked hot and whatnot while slinging an oven rag over her shoulder, shaking a pan of frying vegetables, which accentuated the muscles in her arm.

She was picture perfect, you could say.

Very relaxed, knew how to have a good time, never really jealous, made you laugh in any circumstances and she always blew the fuse out of an argument in the best ways. Nomi apologizes.

Which she never does to anyone but you. She isn't touchy either but she craves your cuddles and kisses, especially when you squish her face when you're extra happy.

The only you didn't like was her reluctantance.

Nomi could've been your girlfriend by now but everytime you brought that topic up she just steer the convo.

Solidifying your relationship despite all things you do for eachother was a pretty big step for her, one Nomi needs to grow longer legs for.

And you'd give her countless days that extended to weeks and months. But you'd be insane if you were going to continue being in the 'talking' stage with her after a year.

So the fears began to creep.

Is she playing you? Are you just an excellent hang around? Will Nomi eventually grow bored of you and.. leave?

You slowly chew on your food and make the fork meet your plate, mood soured and spoiled. You just end up wrapping it all up and putting it in the fridge before walking to the bedroom.

-

Your arms are placed behind you as you sit on the bed, waiting. Now you wanted to talk.

After twelve minutes went past the shower finally cut off and there was some shuffling and the close of a cabinet, then the knob twisted and she padded out with a towel around her body.

"You sneak.." Her British accent irked and attracted you at the same time while she approached your drawers.

"Whatever.. " you mumbled, Nomi payed you no mind until she glanced back.

".. Mind if I burrow some clothes?" You shrugged as she turned back and fished out some comfortable clothes. She discarded her towel and unfolded the pair of sweats to pull it over her legs and pulled a t-shirt over her head.

You looked elsewhere the whole time until a presence could be felt dipping into the mattress, a hand took your idle one and interlaced their fingers.

"You're silent again." Nomi searched for an explanation in your body language that your mouth wasn't going to give right away.

"I want to talk this time." You utter.

Nomi nibbles on her lips, "About what, I'm all ears."

"About how I feel," Nomi hummed as she examined you from head to toe.

"Go on?" her lips pinched into a straight line as you were getting ready to respond.

"I want to know more about you." You stood strong yet you felt like dissapearing due to her deep stare.

"Im very private you know that, you also know enough darling, what's the real issue." She furrowed her brows.

"The real issue is.. your enough, isn't my enough. Look, I won't beat around the bush.. you've been keeping me in the dark for a while." You pressed. She scratched her brow slowly and dropped her hand in her lap.

"If that's how you feel-"

"And I do?"  You state, tone defensive. You take your hands back for yourself.

"You make me worried sick? I— I can't keep any tabs on you whatsoever, I don't know what your job profession is, where you dissapear off to, I don't even know your schedule which I always stay considerate of no matter how odd it is.. and how it may be eating into my time." you breathe in deeply.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you got shot?"

"Y/n-" your hands then jab at your chest.

"As your...... hell I don't even know what am to you at this point but I'm pretty angry at the possibility that you may be keeping some huge secrets from me while I expose my whole life to you?"

"Y/n, you know who you are to me."

"Do I? What's our status, how am I special?"

"You're.. " my love. Nomi didn't think she could say that to you, every time her toungue fell limp and her jaw clenched. She loved you more than you could imagine but knew where admitting to it would get her. She felt unworthy of you. Prohibited and Insecure.

The way she lived glued her to this mindset.

Your shoulders dropped.

"Exactly. I can't bring myself to play pretend the next day when my heart's still sore from you choosing when to come and go. Giving that same explanation of work," you groan, "its like I always make time for you but you don't make enough time for me... I'm doubting if what I'm trying to do is right.." 

"What is that?"

"Trying to gain your trust. Your reassurance. I mean we are getting to know eachother so we can potentially be together... but you obviously haven't felt that close with me yet so you have the obvious option Nomi..."  

"Don't.. don't do that." She glared, you couldn't be insinuating that. And the way her name came out of your mouth wasn't soothing her like usual.

"Then tell me what I should know, from the moment we first met." You lay out your request on the table while Nomi sits deep in thought for a proper response back. She wouldn't lie and say she didn't realize you feeling this way, she always knew.

But the last thing Nomi wanted was for you to leave her for it. She just needed more time, but now the hourglass had finally ran out.

"You want," with a pounding heart.

"trust.. openness? fine. But If I'm speaking from the deepest part of my heart, all I ever did was try to protect you and Laosa."  

"Protect us from what?!"

"Simple answer?"  She placed her palms infront of her as you demanded with a raising brow.

"The simplest." 

"I work with the government."  

"..... Nomi if you're an FBI Agent you could've told me-"  

"Not that type of agent." She frowned, eyes closing momentarily. 

"Then.."  you trailed off. Nomi crossed her arms and fully turned to you, face giving confliction and compromise at the same time. This was it. If she told you, everything would change.

She'd overcome that boulder that layed atop her jurisdiction once and for all. You deserved to know.

"Nomi?"

"I'm the one that.. takes care of the criminals you thankfully haven't heard on the news. People like me handle.. them— i-in advance."

"Oh."

"Listen-" 

"Is that how you got shot?" Stunned silence.

"My." You turned away.

Nomi breathes in deeply. "I'm finally coming clean to you about what I'm hiding and now you're shutting me out? Y/n look at me."

"..I can't..." You're reluctant. But a now cold hand reaches for your arm with gentleness. Light as feather and you let Nomi settle behind you with the fearful thought of a reptile slithering around your skin.

"Darling." But you snap out of it, you have too. Upon this news you feel like everything you've known about her is a lie and all that she is, is her choice of work. An agent. But you know deep down Nomi is more.

"If only you were willing to understand." She rubbed her hands down your arms and held you firmly, feeling your deep trembles.

"I've had to do unspeakable things for this world. I've had to kill." You squeeze your eyes shut while hers bore into the wall ahead.

"Would it alleviate the weight off your shoulders if I told you all of them were really.. really bad people." She put her chin in your neck and pulled you closer than you already were, squeezing, making you slightly breathless.

"A.. life, is a life." You exhaled.

"And what is a justice?" She whispered, hold suddenly loosening. The truth. It filled you with so many emotions that you though you were prepared for but weren't. After all, this was what you wanted.

So now you must make a choice.

"Nomi." You mutter and then swallow. The agent is silent, arms still interlocked around your abdomen. She's torn in her thoughts, remaining clueless about if you'll end things with her or not. Its maddening.

".. Nomi." Your voice wavers and it's painful to consider the thought that leaves your throat sore in guilt.

"You need time." She abruptly pulled away from you and got off the bed, darting her burning eyes to the ground.

"When you've come to a decision... call me." Nomi states as clear she can while gathering her things.

She's gone quick and two times the door gets shut. Mimicking the breaking of your crystal glass heart.

This was best for now.

-

One.

Two.

Three.

Four Days.

A Thursday had never felt so.. empty. Nomi skimmed her cabinets for numerous bottles of dark liquors and sweetly bitter remedies that left her body ablaze right under her skin. She didn't grow tired often, not remembering a proper trip the bed in that span of time.

Maybe a crash on the couch every blue moon. Or a late night ride.. past your complex.

Every blue moon, though.

Nomi knew she could give into her intrusive thoughts and scoop you and laosa up. Proposing a stay at her Mediterranean and remote home while you continued to think. In her passanger seat. As long as you both were in her reach. That's all she wanted.

The agent put her hand on the car door, fingers eerily still on the handle as she pondered on it. She could do it, she really could. Your usually home this hour anyway, probably making fragrances or nurturing your baby on the lap while the TV remained on.

Desperate.

Come on, thats desperate.

Nomi clenched her jaw and brought her hands back on the steering wheel, leaving the premises without hesitation and internally degrading herself on the way. She had to be patient.

Meanwhile you were in the house wondering how to contact her, as if you could send a simple text or call. But what would you say, how would you say it.. in which way would you deliver your sentiment. Should you give it a little more time and think logically rather than your heart taking all the space up in your head.

The organ told you to forgive nomi and continue loving her. To be willing to understand like she wanted. And you truly wanted to but you were scared. Images of her bandaged shoulder and how exhausted she looked with slighty sunken eyes. You couldn't bare to see her so..

Beat.

You sighed and stood up to put laosa to bed again. A sad frown etched into your features while you thought of the woman.

Tonight's dreams had mimicked your pain in distorted ways that made stubborn tears escape through your closed eyes and your heart did its familiar, agonizing turn and twist.

But as always, the sun did its usual appearance and you were still slumped in bed when a buzz from your phone had you stirring in the sheets.

Buzz

"Ugh.." you turned on your side.

Buzz

"Mtch.. shoot." You grumbled and quickly reached for your phone on the nightstand. After rubbing your eyes and blinking the blurriness away you noticed there were text messages, from Nomi.

Mimi💕: I have to report back to work on Monday.

We need to talk soon.

Your face twisted up into an angry pout as your feet kicked in a dramatic toddler fashion. You weren't ready to face her at all, even looking at her blue text bubbles made you feel intimidated. You thought of responding or leaving Nomi on read for a minute to recollect yourself.

You chose the latter.

Today wasn't the best day to talk, you had to be at work by nine and drop laosa off to daycare, along with a ton of other things. You sighed and got out of bed to freshen up and make breakfast.

Throwing some bacon in the oven before you went into the baby room and eased Laosa out of her slumber.

Her little body was putty in your arms as you carried her to restroom and got her ready for the day aswell. She could barely sit up straight when you brought a soft brush along her scalp.

"Lala.." her eyes squinted open to your voice as she slightly perked up and then slumped again.

"Reminds me of when I used to brush her hair after a good old wash day" you mumbled with a smile while fitting a puffy headband on the little girls head. The longer you stared into the mirror and reflected, the more you missed her.

And it was at that moment when your chest began to hurt again that you knew you had to do it. You couldn't delay this talk. So hopefully there could be a slot in time for your discussion.

[fandomwe1rd0]

"Colors" A Rick and Morty songfic

TW ALOCHOL AND DRUG ABUSE UNDER THE CUT

Your little brother never tells you, but he loves you so

Rick was looking at Morty. He was asleep, he looked so peaceful when he's asleep, so much different then how he usually saw Morty, yelling, running, and overall just being anxiety if anxiety was a person. He sighed as he saw the bruises that littered Morty's arms after their latest adventure, he ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. He took a syringe and injected it into Morty's cheek letting out a deep sigh. A churning in his gut formed with the knowledge that this was his fault. He patted Morty's head with a whisper "I'm sorry..."

Rick's inner voice insulted him "You don't deserve his forgiveness. You're a piece of shit."

You said your mother only smiled on her tv show

Morty tapped on her mom's shoulder. Beth turned over "What!?" Morty flinched

"See even your mom doesn't want to spend time with you anymore, she hates you. Everyone does." Morty's inner voice chided.

Morty stammered "I-I-I just-" Beth sighed "Look, I'm busy right now, can it wait?" "But I-" Beth sent a glare that sent shivers down Morty's spine, "Wait." Morty gulped then Beth's phone rang. She pinched her nose and mumbled "This shit again..." She answered the phone with a smile on her face, she chirped, her voice like honey "Hello! This is Beth! Yes I can go to the horse hospital right now!" Beth started walking and Morty grabbed onto her arm "Wait mom-" Beth ripped herself from Morty's grip and went to the horse hospital, while Morty gripped onto the card he made Beth for Mother's Day.

You're only happy when you're sorry, head is filled with dope

Rick was high off of kalaxium crystal, he also maybe had a weeeee bit of whiskey. Hah. That's what he told himself. It made his addiction sound less serious right? In truth, he only had 2 bottles. Less than the 5 bottles he usually drank though. He attempted to open Morty's door, he missed the doorknob 4 times, but eventually manged to open it, kicking the door behind him to close it. Morty fluttered his eyes open. Wait..what was Rick doing here? He had a test tomorrow! Morty internally groaned "R-Rick what is-" Rick cut him off with a hug. Morty hated the way he near instinctively relaxed by the hug. "Rick what is-" "I'm sorry little budddddyyyy." Morty blinked. 

What? 

Rick wasn't one to apologize...

"Because he doesn't have to apologize. You deserve it. You're just an oversensitive piece of shit." Morty's inner voice commented, laced with venom.

Morty gulped down the lump in his throat. 

Rick slurred "I...I put you through too much budddddyyyy. S-sorry for being mean on the latest adventureeeee." Rick smiled wide, showing his yellow teeth "Y-you did good buddy...y-you...you did great m-my little buddddyyy"

"He doesn't put you through too much." Morty's inner voice argued. "You're just too weak." Morty hated the way his cheeks flushed due to being flattered as soon as those words left Rick's mouth, hated the way hs body went limp, completely surrendering to Rick's touch, he knew Rick didn't mean it but...the physical affection and validation was nice...even if he only got it while Rick was drunk

"God, you're soaking this up like a puppy..." Morty felt his cheeks getting hot, this time with shame 

"Pull away." His inner voice urged "If you do this he's just going to using you for adventures."

But Morty didn't.

He doesn't know why he didn't.

But he didn't.

He just...couldn't... 

"Fucking weak ass bitch..." His inner voice muttered as if Morty couldn't hear him.

Morty hated the way tears stung his eyes.

He really was weak...

Rick asked "What's wronngggg you became like a limp noodle buddyyyy." "Nothing."

Rick laughed "You're weirddddd." Morty sniffled, hating how loud it was, Rick asked "You sure you're okay m-muh m-my guyyy" "I'm fine" Morty lied, replying a little too quickly.

He always lied.

He was never fine.

But Rick didn't care.

He never did.

I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old

Rick laid surrounded by beer cans and pills, completely passed out. 

Morty was left cleaning up the beer cans and pill containers. He sighed.

"Nice job, downgraded from Rick's sidekick to his maid." Morty's inner voice sarcastically congratulated. Morty clutched onto the bag.

Hard.

The bag crinkled under his grip and Morty took a deep breath as he continued cleaning with a vice-like grip on the bag.

He looked over to Rick, and sighed. "How are you still alive?" Morty mumbles. His eyes shoot open when he realizes what he said, he feels something horrible twist in his gut, that's a terrible thing to say! Why did he even say that!? Morty felt it again, for the 3rd time this week, it was Wednesday, he felt it. The awful, aggressive, angry, feeling chewing inside of him, wanting to get out.

He ignored it.

He always did.

You're dripping like a saturated sunrise

Rick and Morty were running from a monster. Morty was panting, sweat covering his shirt. Rick grabbed Morty's wrist roughly as he pulled him near him "GO FASTER FUCKNUT!" Morty was hyperventilating, running as fast as his legs can take him.

"You're so fucking weak." Morty's inner voice insulted. Morty was too busy trying to get his heart to stop beating so fast, to put an end to the adrenaline coursing through his veins. 

You're spilling like an overflowing sink

As Morty was running, he felt tears stinging his eyes, he hated how he was starting to cry when stressed, Rick's bruising grip on his wrist wasn't helping either, Morty could already see the purple-blueish marks that were starting to blossom like flowers on his wrists. 

Morty squeaked "R-Rick...your grip...you're hurting me..."

Morty cringed at how pathetic he sounded. His inner voice made it clear that he sounded pathetic 

"Jesus, crying like a little baby back bitch." Morty sniffed and Rick rolled his eyes "There are more important thing to worry about Morty!" Rick barked. Morty looked up at him with watery eyes and let out a pitiful "Please...?' Rick groaned "Jesus fucking Christ." Instead of loosening his grip like a normal person, Rick pulled Morty closer, and hoisted him over his shoulder, one of his hands on Morty's back as he used his other to shoot the beast that was hunting them. Morty blinked "Rick what-" Rick barked "Shut up." 

Morty's inner voice mocked "Forcing Rick to carry you like you're a fucking baby...God you're pathetic." Morty didn't force him to do this! But he hated himself as he felt a comfort at his touch, his body instinctively yielding to Rick's touch. Jeez, he really was Rick's lapdog wasn't he?

You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece, and now you're tearing through the pages and the ink (mmm, mmm)

After that adventure Morty was dry heaving and Rick looked away, patting Morty's back. Morty felt tears sting his eyes.

"Look at you, Christ you are such a big baby."

That did it.

All the emotion he was holding in all day came out as Morty began crying and dove into Rick's chest, sobbing in his chest while clutching his lab coat with an iron-fisted grip. Rick put his arms up, unsure what to do with them, he looked around awkwardly then placed them around Morty. "Hey buddy...wh-wha-*burp*-t ha-what's wrong buddy?" Morty sniffled.

"Look at you, clinging to him, he hates you. I know he does." 

That just made Morty cry harder. 

"I-I'm sorry Rick...I-I'm so needy...so clingy...you must hate me..."

"Morty..."

"I-I made you carry me! Y-you had to carry me on our adventure! L-Like I was some kind of...like some kind of child!" 

Rick began rubbing Morty's back in comforting circle as Morty locked his arms around Rick's neck as tears flooded from his eyes. 

Rick sighed "Morty...c'mon...you know I don't..." 

Rick's jaw clenched.

He couldn't let himself finish that sentence. 

"You know what happens when you love people." Rick inner voice bitterly reminded him of. "Remember what happened with Diane?" Rick bit his lip until he the metallic tasting blood coated his tongue. 

"You know I..." The words died on Rick's blood soaked tongue.

He sighed and just hugged Morty as Morty bawled his eyes out on Rick's chest.

Everything is blue

Rick sat down in his office, staring up into the ceiling. 

"You're such an asshole." 

Rick needed something to numb the pain.

His pills, 

Rick took out a canister of opioid pills, and swallowed them, his eyes immediately dialed, leaving a small sliver of blue left, he giggled as he felt the euphoria take over, making everything else seem but also his stomach churned, as he suddenly felt the need to throw up, he clutched his stomach, laughing breathy. As he tried his best to ignore the tears filling his eyes.

His hands, his jeans

Morty looked at his hands, breathing heavily as the teal blood of Mr. Jellybean was coating his hands, the sickening warmness on his hands, his breathing heavied as he clutched the stall door, quiet sobs rattled from his chest, hugging his knees. Not caring that the teal blood stained his jeans. He hated being in the same stall as that sick fuck, He buried his face in his jeans, slobber and tears darkening his jeans in dark spots.

And now I'm covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams, and it's blue, and it's blue

Morty was on yet another adventure with Rick, he had no say in it, did he? He always was going to get dragged on these adventures, whether he liked it or not. 

It doesn't matter if he didn't feel like it.

It doesn't matter if he's so sick he can barely move.

It doesn't matter if he got no sleep last night.

It doesn't matter if it was dangerous.

It doesn't matter if Morty could die during the adventure.

He always needed to go with Rick.

Always.

"Because you're nothing but a pathetic lapdog to Rick." Morty's inner voice commented.

Morty's shoulder slumped.

It was right.

It was always right...

Everything is grey

Rick laid down on his bed, trying to find a reason to get out, which always got more and more difficult. His entire world felt grey. Numb. Bleak. Tired. Damp. Nothing matters, he knew that. So why bother doing anything? Why not just go to sleep forever? Why even live? Lord knows Rick hates himself anyway...he hated his life, he hated everything.

Rick thought of Morty, that's right...that's why he was still alive...he hated that kid...

"Oh shut up, you love him, you shouldn't feel anything you know what happens when you love people, they die or leave you, and y'know what? I don't blame them. You deserve it." Rick's inner voice snubbed

No he doesn't.

"Keep telling yourself that..." Rick's inner voice said.

Well...Rick wanted to hate him.

But it's not his fault!

It's Morty's!

It's not like it's Rick's fault that Morty's smile radiated pure innocence, so much so that it reminded Rick that there was still some good in this broken universe, it wasn't Rick's fault that the way Morty looked at Rick with so much trust in his eyes, the trust the he didn't deserve, the look that made Rick almost feel like he wasn't a huge piece of shit and hate himself at the same time, it wasn't Rick's fault that Morty was able to ground Rick into the world the way nobody else was able to..the way he was his little buddy, his partner, his best friend, his...

...

His reason to live...

...

Rick hated almost everything.

His hair.

Rick ran a hand through his grayish light blue hair. His hands nearly instinctively reached for his cigarette.

"Of course you fucking reach for the cigarettes, you fucking addict." His inner voice criticized. 

Rick reached for a cigarette. Smoking the whole thing in one breath.

His smoke

Rick exhaled, the grey smoke filling up the garage. Rick coughed, but only a little. He got used to it. Used to the metal in his lungs, he could always get new ones, so why did it matter?

The back of his throat was itchy, God it was annoying, but he could always reverse it.

His mouth became dry, but he could always make a device to wet his lips again, or just fucking lick them, he could also just drink alcohol, like how he always did. He has burned through so many livers.

Why did anything matter?

If you're a man who can do anything you want, why even try anymore?

Any negative effects of anything can easily be removed, so what's the point?

Why take care of yourself?

That was Rick's thought process, at least. 

I mean, he certainly didn't like himself enough to take care of him, so why put in the effort when he can be doing more important things?

His dreams

Y'know Rick's old dream was to kill Rick Prime.

He has fantasized about it so, so many times.

It was going to be an epic battle.

Or at least that's what Rick always thought.

But here he was.

Punching Rick Prime while he was strapped to a chair.

He saw the life drain from his eyes, heard him gurgling on his own blood, saw him become motionless, expecting to feel some happiness, or hell, I don't know...satisfaction?

He just killed the guy who killed his wife.

But he felt nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

And now he's so devoid of color, he don't know what it means and he's blue and he's blue...

Whenever the effects of the drugs Rick took worse off, he would take more. Or he would just drink alcohol.

When the effects of his alcohol wear off. He took more.

He always just wanted more, more, more.

He was never satisfied. He always just felt empty.

There was a hole in him.

It just took more, more, more.

It was never satisfied. 

Never.

It numbed him at least.

Made the voices quieter.

Made the voices got further and further away...until Rick almost couldn't hear them

...

Almost.

Numbed him to everything.

Made him forget how much he hated himself.

It didn't matter how much it destroyed him.

How ashamed he felt about himself after.

How much he regretted what he did when he was drunk.

It didn't matter how much it isolated himself from his family.

He didn't care.

He liked being alone.

So why did he always want to cry when he was alone...?

Whatever.

It helped for the moment.

Made him feel relaxed, euphoric.

He felt pure ecstasy for the moment.

It was only for a moment.

He always felt like shit afterwards...

But...the pure, raw, unfiltered, ecstasy...

That made it worth it in the end...

...

Right...?

...

I-it made it worth it

...

Please tell him it made it worth