#I MEAN IVE ALWAYS WANTED HER
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cora and law sketches
#donquixote rosinante#trafalgar law#my art#described in alt text#ive been meaning to draw law smiling for a while. he's kind of always frowning and i want to change that. also wanted to draw cora cause i#never do!! i want to draw yamato too!! so many characters i love but never draw!!#im mad especially about cora cause im insane about both donquixote bros but only draw mingo which is so unfair because im not#normal about cora either. i love doomed siblings!! when i first watched that flashback i thought cora and mingo were twins. i couldnt stop#thinking of the similarities between them and vash and knives when i read trigun! i also love when ppl draw cora covered in scars.#truly bringing out the vash in him. i also love transfem cora hc and ive been meaning to draw her in cute outfits
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something about perspective, representation, or finding beauty in imperfection, i don't know. i mostly just wanted to say that fake pep looks like shitty ice cream.
#this was one of those things i thought of and was like. i cant believe i havent seen this done yet. it's right there.#misshapen and melty and the weird orb eyes are never in right....but that's the charm of it you know#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#it's not important but technically thats dougie jones in the van#was going to have it be noisette at first bc lbr awful ice cream is SO on brand for her#but she was not inconsequential enough. needed 2 be fully bg type character u kno.#i dont know maybe hes selling them for her by proxy#i mean dougie works for the noise right? maybe he knows noisette+does her bidding too#<- doing the thing i always do where i find the MOST trivial characters or bits of lore to bring to the forefront for the hell of it#u guys havent gotten much of that here with pt yet but we may get there. i do think about mr. incognito too.#also SNICK i want to do stuff with snick i like him. we'll see. we'll see.#pizzaposting#anyway the second panel is my fave fp ive drawn yet also PLEASE fullview the first image. i die#arting
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help i cant stop drawing fem neuvillette
#minxie art#neuvifuri#genshin impact#furina#neuvillette#UGHHHHH I LOVE FURI BUT IM GETTING BRAIN DAMAGE FROM MY OWN DRAWING IF NEUVI#I RLY LOVE TALL WOMEN THAT ARE SOFT ON THE INSIDE BUT SERIOUS AND OR POTENTIALLY SCARY ON THE OUTSIDE#also im rly proud of furi here bc she looks so cute im bleating pathetically#my fave thing about drawing them is making them obsessed with each other#and giving neuvi big milkers lol#am i turning neuv into a bimb0........... LOL idc!#ooc? idc!#no ones winning against her in a yearn off#for context on the bottom left#furi dropped her DL and neuv waited the entire day after work to give it in person#also she bought a new dress and got her hair nails and makeup done bc i said so#sorry im annoying but ive always been like this lol#like if u look at my amaya sideblog it gets worse#i have an alt twt as well but its priv and that is 10 times worse too#also listened to golden hour serafina cover for like 7 hours doing this#i said bottom left but i mean right lmao L#actually i had like 2 endings for this#one is that neuv was a demon the entire time#so she remembers#the other is that neuv turns into a demon but has no memories#but i didnt want to be sad so i just made her remember
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starts foaming at the mouth
#one of -- if not -- the cutest harrys ive ever doodled ASJSJS#ive read somewhere abt inland empire resembling what elysium looks like and oughghrghg#'with her freckled face'#so idk!#i think itd be fun to make a shaker charm ive always wanted to make a shaker charm pfttt#i have to simplify the shapes of that charm tho ..#like i like the ideas of the clouds to make it have a lil smth more than just#inland empire's big ol head#but it looks messey rn (i mean its a doodle so pftt) but!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need samples for merch stuff ok ASKSKS#sunnysidewips
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crying appin doodles ^_^
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#appindex#bc im not too happy myself rn but its fine#ive always wanted to draw him crying i just didn't know how without making it look goofy#i think they give sad puppy face if you say something really mean to them#also the expression i inagune her making if they went down the aa route and he breaks things off in a hurtful way lol
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meeshell's webisode boils my blood for a variety of reason but top of the list HAS to be the fact that her name is meeshell fucking MERMAID and yet ashlynn briar and maddie have the nerve to look absolutely GOBSMACKED upon finding out that she's a mermaid.
it's giving H2O just add water and I am NOT enjoying it. it also very much reminds me of the "ah yes let me just ask my good friend haggravated lassault" meme.
but genuinely this webisode has to be one of the WORST ones by far and the only thing that came even remotely close to saving it was maddie and her giant cup of tea:
this image genuinely cracks me up every time it's just so fucking funny.
#eah#ever after high#meeshell mermaid#madeline hatter#maddie hatter#ashlynn ella#briar beauty#meeshell comes out of her shell#she can fucking go back in it i mean#her name is meeshell MERMAID#tf more do they want from her like#if she WASN'T a mermaid that'd be more surprising im just saying#also god bless maddie#she always manages to turn around even the worst situations#including this entire webisode#also ik ive said this before#and yes i am hating for no good reason#but im really not a fan of her singing voice
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HAPPY NOVEMBER!! its beginning to feel a lot like winter so todays uni sketch is Sulu and Uhura dancing!! 💫❄️🌌 cus why not :D (bg-less version below!)
(can you tell im listening to frank sinatra lately AHJSKJASK)
#churro art#my art#illustration#fanart#digital art#doodles#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#nyota uhura#hikaru sulu#THEYRE SO BESTIES TO ME sweetest mlm wlw solidarity on ship..#i rlly like how this one looks even if its a rlly relaxed mindless doodle heheh#i really wanted to draw kirk and spock in winter clothes but couldnt get the sketch quite right#so i decided to just draw uhura and sulu too since ive been wanting to draw them both!!#and uhura was FUN because i LOVEE her hair her makeup her earrings EVERYTHING.. so putting a lil christmas twist on her outfit was fun !!!#sulu is also so fun to draw WAAA hes so handsome and cute plus i just love drawing square faces ToT#anyways the shading heres a lil different; ig i was feeling nostalgic so i shaded this in a more like 90s animated movie poster style :P#im really proud of the sketch for this one as well ! it came out really smooth and w a lot of movement which is always good for me!!#means im not getting stiff LOL#maybe ill actually get around to drawing kirk and spock in winter clothes :P#i liked the sketch / idea but i wasnt getting the faces quite right..#i guess because i was frustrated this morning over getting late to uni and not having headphones for music GSHJGSHJGSAHJ#BUT ILL DO IT I SWEAR IT
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#kimi ga shine#your turn to die#yttd#sara chidouin#i kind of have this thing where i randomly make sketches of characters tilting to the side so hard and i dont know why#anyway this was just a practice sketch thing.. trying to stylize sara has been kind of hard </3333#also she has a scrunchie now because i said so#i dont know how i feel about the eyes i mean ive always wanted her eyes to be triangle-like but in a way that her eyes are in#her sprites.. her eyes look a little too much like mid's to me but at the same time i kind of like them#also can i just mention how much i love her colors.. such an interesting combo of colors i fuck with her color palette so hard
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posting some recent gijinkas
#juice art#osc#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#candle ii#ii candle#baseball ii#ii baseball#bow ii#ii bow#i think im getting better at drawing humans :)#missed my daughter (candle)#had a LOT of fun drawing baseball too he's so so cute he turned out exactly the way i wanted#and ive been meaning to draw a bow gijinka for a while now#legally blonde coded saleswoman#also fun fact i got a nose piercing because of candle#cause my candle gijinka has always had a nose piercing from the very beginning#on her left nostril#and she's one of my top favourite ii characters ever so
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okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment
#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie)#everyone should play now do it now please#pokemon rejuvenation#oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there#if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful#i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any#anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work#i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad#the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc#and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask#and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[#and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv#and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow#my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)
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immortality is so lonely
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#lumi vocaloid#'this will just be a warmup!' *spends nearly the whole fucking day lining + rendering it* 😭😭 THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS#i try to tell myself its ok if im no longer speed demon at drawing anymore b/c it means im putting more work into my art now#anyways ive never done smthn proper w/ her before and i wanted to try doing something for funsies#i also immediately turned around and did a shitpost right after this but im not including it here b/c this feels too serious lmaoo#realized her birthday's in a few days so good timing too ig LMAO??#queued this bc WOOHOO FINISHING SHIT AT MIDNIGHT WHEN I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING *dies*
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idk if this is something im maybe hallucinating or maybe its just the posts that i see occasionally but ifl sometimes its hard for the fandom to let yjh exist outside of kdj?? like i know the whole kdj being the reason for the story and yjh as an extension to exist is a thing but yjh separating himself from the narrative and establishing himself as not just the protagonist but a person is Also a thing and i feel like we don't talk about it as much.
like i dont know man!! maybe this is all in my head but sooo much of the yjh content also doubles as joongdok?? and you KNOW i love good joongdok but where are the character studies. where are the deep dives. where is the acknowledging yjh as an intricately convoluted and complex characters with his own wishes and desires and the way those desires fuel the narrative like goddddd hes SUCH a Character i think we need to discuss it more. anyways hes my fave btw no one gets him like i do
NO YOURE SO RIGHT THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING
Like yjh becoming a Person is his whole growth??? I haven't been consuming nearly as much orv content, and I'm pretty sure it's for this very reason cause I want more character studies so bad!! Or dynamics with other members of kimcom!!
You ever think about him and mia, mia who is suddenly so distant from her brother, you ever think about him and jihye, how she wants to be strong like him
Or sp!!! Who carries so much grief, and it saddens me that his "why is it not me, but you?" line got reduced to "oh he's jealous he doesn't have a kdj" when it's "he doesn't have ANY companions he doesn't have a SISTER A DISCIPLE A TEACHER"
#god if i knew how to write yjh i would be making sm stuff#yjh hobbies post epilogue: gardening is one of them. i think something hands on#also yjh transgenderism study. i need to make her genderfluid/transfem#i mean ive seen more of them throughout my time but still. whats more transgender than literally becoming your own person#i remember really wanting a fic of the yjh pov during divorce arc where he thinks about himself being a character#hmm way back i vaguely thought up a mini oneshot collection that wouldve been about kimcom and each a mini study about them and Characters#im pretty sure youve never watched utena but in it is this idea of being trapped in your own coffin#and applying that idea to being a Character has always sat distantly in my mind but i could never articulate it enough to try and write it#maybe after i finish a couple other fics first ill attempt it idk#if i ever do ill so get back to you on that#cause for that one i would need to actively discuss with someone i just know it#orv#astra's asks#roshan
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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.
i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.
brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.
eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.
back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.
i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.
maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.
when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.
when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.
i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.
when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.
brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.
by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.
due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.
i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.
it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.
also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon#he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was#and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her#regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and#mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following#the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have#killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and#was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3#idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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another weekend, another job rejection!
#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal#Of Working In A Fucking Library#just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises#anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or#graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal#relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and#be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges#i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is#everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me#2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to#go further into debt#anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s#everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333#like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails
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Sometimes I want to yell at you to update your fics but I remember you’re a whole ass lawyer and have a life.
also writers block dont forget the writers block
#not to mention juggling all my interests#i actually write a lot of fics in my free time! but atm my total drama fics have all hit a wall#ill cycle back once ive had some time to shake off the cobwebs as it were#for now ill keep re-reading and being like 'who wrote this how do i coax her out again'#also anon i know this wasnt your intent so this is more of a general announcement#but no one is obligated to update their fics regardless of whether theyre employed or married or have kids or whatever#not that im abandoning my wips (i would NEVER. well. maybe#not atm) but if i wanted to? even if for no reason? thats something i could do#one thing about me: if im not enjoying doing something in my free time? im not doin it#as much as i love sharing my work with yall and hearing your always kind and wonderful feedback (i love yall thanks for reading)#that doesnt mean i owe you more of it#i feel very lucky to be able to share my writing and have people love it but at the end of the day its a hobby#a hobby i love and enjoy the shit out of but a hobby all the same#im entitled to pick it up and put it down as much as i like#and even. as crazy as it sounds. walk away.
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