#<- doing the thing i always do where i find the MOST trivial characters or bits of lore to bring to the forefront for the hell of it

[beatcroc]

something about perspective, representation, or finding beauty in imperfection, i don't know. i mostly just wanted to say that fake pep looks like shitty ice cream.

[blueberrymocha]

Hi ! I saw that u already made hxh headcanons on a reader who's always cold, could you do then headcanons of the main 4 (hxh) with a reader who is actually always really nice and sweet, friendly and polite? But gets absolutely feral and relentless when someone is rude or hurts their loved ones??

Ty ahead and have great day 💗💗💗

main 4 with a reader who goes feral when someone hurts their loved one

gon

✰ he adores how kind and sweet you usually are

✰ while he can get along with virtually anyone, he prefers friendlier people like you

✰ and he’d probably also rely on you to keep him in check and be the calmer one

✰ so when someone makes a rude comment towards him, he definitely doesn’t expect you to jump to his defense

✰ and if you got physical with someone, he’s even more shocked

✰ his biggest concern is stopping the disagreement, he just doesn’t want to watch you get hurt over something trivial

✰ so as much as he loves you defending him, he’ll tell you it’s not worth the trouble and to let it go

✰ don’t get me wrong though, he’s quite happy that you’re willing to do that for him in the first place

“i’m so lucky to have you by my side… but seriously where did that come from!?”

killua

✰ he finds this pretty intriguing

✰ because under normal circumstances, you’d never result to aggression/violence

✰ and yet when he’s involved… you immediately drop those hesitations to stand up for him

✰ now at first, he might jump to the conclusion that you think of him as weak

✰ so while he bandages a cut you got in the fight, he’ll bring it up

“idiot… why’d you have to get hurt for me anyway? i could’ve dealt with it on my own.”

✰ but once you explain things, he realizes he was overthinking it

✰ and when he does, he becomes the biggest cheerleader

“yeah! beat his ass y/n!”

✰ to be honest, it reminds him a lot of gon

✰ which would make him love it even more

✰ however, if you go too feral, he’ll probably get you to stop

✰ because at the end of the day, whatever the person did didn’t even matter to him

kurapika

✰ he himself would be more protective over someone sweet and kind

✰ the world can be very harsh and someone who’s polite to everyone would come across as naive to him

✰ which is also why he’s the most surprised of all when you get defensive

✰ you going crazy on someone for insulting him is just completely out of character in his mind

✰ that being said, if you can handle it yourself, he won’t stop you

✰ after all he’s the exact same way

✰ not to mention he’s honored you’d do so much for his sake

✰ if it got out of hand, he’d just tell you to lay off

✰ and once the two of you were alone, he’d make it clear he thought your actions were justified

✰ although, if something similar happened in the future, he’d remind you not to engage and try to cool you down

✰ mainly because he’d prefer you don’t get into any fights at all

leorio

✰ you’re giving him whiplash

✰ like he can’t understand how someone as sweet as you could switch up so quickly

✰ we all know that he’s no stranger to getting into arguments

✰ so if you’re merely defending him with words, he’s got no problem

✰ if you started fighting the person, he’s conflicted

✰ cause part of him is like

“punch him harder!”

✰ but his rational side will probably break up the fight

✰ if you ended up getting injured for him, he’s really flattered

✰ and of course he takes care of every injury

✰ but also “don’t do that ever again”

[lastoneout]

Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)

And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.

I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".

Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!

Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.

So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.

(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)

[thunder-point]

Phumpeem au

hello have we all considered any kind of phumpeem soulmates au because, of course, i think the "once i become of age, everything i scribble on my skin appears on my soulmate's body as well" trope fits them so well.

just imagine: they become of age the same year, but phum is first. and for those months that separates them, peem is helplessly hit with little messages that make him want to rip his hair out, blow after blow. because the first time his soulmate writes to him, it's on his palm. letters small, unsure and so wobbly peem can barely make out the words. but he does. he does and he can't breathe for a few minutes after.

it reads "find me whenever you want, but please just like me. like me like me like me" his soulmate doesn't write often. but when they do, it's not 'hello', it's not 'i guess you're still not of age yet because you're not responding', it's not 'what's your name' or 'tell me things about yourself'

it's just every heart-wrecking piece of vocabulary ever created.

it's 'it hurts. i hope i'm the only one hurting so often. please take care of yourself'

it's 'i hope someone told you you're loved today. you deserve it. you deserve it even when i feel like i don't. even if we share this same soul.'

it's 'i'm sorry for hurting you. i feel like i'm hurting you sometimes. i just want to talk to you but i don't know how.'

it's 'are you reading me? can you see me? sometimes i feel like not many people can see me on this earth.'

it's 'i hope you like hugs. i hope you'll hug me until i can't breathe. please. please.'

and mostly it's just 'please like me. please don't find me lacking. not you.'

his soulmate writes them at the darkest of hours, and they're always wobbly, always without steady contour. and peem has understood from the first ever message that the ache in his gut is not his. not really. it's his soulmate's. it's the half that seems to tremble every time they seeks peem so ruthlessly.

when he becomes of age. he doesn't know what to do. his soulmate hasn't said a thing in two weeks. no more shattering messages that are whispered on peem's skin like a plead. peem can't find words to answer to everything ever revealed to him. to a pain he can't understand but can feel.

so he draws. he only draws. the first ever doodle he paints on his skin is a chibi version of himself hugging a shaded figure tightly to his chest. right in the center of his palm, where his soulmate chose to begin everything.

hours later, when he looks down at his palm, he stars quivering from within. because the paint is smeared. but it's not because of sweat. it has droplets peppered all over, as if someone cried over it freely. not peem's tears.

right under it, the same wobbly writing appears 'you are so talented. I'm sorry for ruining it. please don't stop.'

peem's tears join right after. q finds him sobbing into his elbow in a corner of their art classroom.

he never stops. he never fucking stops. he draws everyday. every morning, even if he's late for his first year of university, he opens his paints and doodles the most trivial of things on his palm, always in the middle of his palm. he mostly doodles himself, because he wants his soulmate to know him more and more. he doodles himself drinking coffee, because he loves coffee. he draws himself painting. draws himself bickering with q's chibi version, the bubbly letters 'this is my annoying best friend, you'll like him. he's the most caring person I've ever met.' right above it. he doodles peem's friend's sleeping on top of each other on his bed, and writes 'i hope you'll join the pile one day.'

he doodles the cats he sees on the streets 'i like them. what animals do you like?' he doodles characters from his favorite shows and books and bands. his soulmate answers them all hesitantly, after hours. like he doesn't know if he should, if he can.

but he never stops saying 'pretty.', 'talented.' never stops scribbling little, trembling 'thank yous' around peem's drawings.

most of all, peem just draws himself hugging the vague figure of his soulmate. because he likes hugs, he adores hugs and he'll give his soulmate hugs in every shape and form.

then one day, peem draws an annoyed version of his chibi's face, along with the words 'i met the most annoying person today.'

he didn't think much of phum at first. phum is annoying and cocky and nothing like his soulmate's meek writing, the ache that follows it. he and his deal get on peem's nerves. but also he seems like he can't escape phum. he can't stop seeing layers and layers of the guy. can't stop his initial annoyance from dissolving, watering down.

one time, he scoffs, mostly as a joke, as a taunt. 'i bet your other half is as much a handful as you are.'

but phum didn't rise to the bait, like he always does. his whole face mellowed, instead, voice the shiest it's ever been as he curls his palm to his chest and whispers, 'my soulmate is the most gentle soul I've ever met, even if he's my half.'

and peem is. he's shattered. mouth dry and shocked and strangely shattered. because what do you mean even if he's my half, what do you mean phum's so besotted it drips off his face like liquid paint.

weeks pass, time goes by and peem finds himself hurting for more reasons than one. because he's starting to yearn differently than before. because he feels no longer halved, but pulled in three different directions. he still draws for his soulmate daily, still feels warmth right in the middle of his chest when he receives his soulmate's words, no long so full of desolation, but mostly reactions to peem's doodles.

but there's a heat that engulfs him whenever phum is around. consuming and maddening and most of all, confusing. peem should not feel like this for someone who doesn't have the right to leave ink on his skin. he shouldn't. he should stop his heart from beating so desperately. he shouldn't because the first words his soulmate ever said were 'please like me like me like me' and peem can't go and break that unspoken promise of liking his other half until they both fade away.

yet his feelings are growing and glaring, and he finds himself grasping at delusions that do him no good.

peem finds himself trying to sneak looks at phum's palms, just for a glance, for an ounce of hope that perhaps the yearning is not so unfounded. that phum's moments of undiluted softness, so unexpected but somewhat familiar, are a sign from fate for peem to look, search, discover.

it's ridiculously hard to look at this man's palms, and that shouldn't give him such expectations but it does. because phum wears oversized stuff like he has something to hide beneath his sleeves. he keeps his hands curled nearly all the time, like he's protecting something.

[to be continued]

YEA WELL. I'm writing this one for ao3 so I'll stop here because it's already a very long post of me rambling. Many questions to be answered. Does Phum know before Peem does? For how long? How does Peem find out? Hmm.

[fatalism-and-villainy]

This is gonna sound like a morality cop sentiment without the context that I am a person who is deeply enthusiastic about the aestheticized, eroticized violence of NBC Hannibal. But with that context in mind… I often find myself deeply put off by how violence is handled in fanfic, particularly post-canon fanfic.

Because Hannibal is a very dark show. It is thematically centered on the darkness that resides in all human beings, as embodied by the irresistible black hole that is Hannibal Lecter - a theme that most obviously manifests in Will Graham’s corruption arc, but also in subtler, more mundane ways with characters like Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford, who keep repeating their mistakes despite their self-awareness. And it’s a very nihilistic show, concerned not with ethics but aesthetics, with the pursuit of beauty in the absence of moral scruples.

And yet, violence and death always feel significant on this show. Despite (or perhaps because of) the frequent surrealism and black comedy in their presentation, they feel as if they have gravitas. And that’s precisely because of the show’s aestheticism. The corpses we see are so exquisitely mounted, and presented with such deliberation and intention, both in-universe and in the show’s cinematography. And thus these deaths feel as though they have weight, as though they mean something - even if the only meaning we derive from them is that they look beautiful, if ghastly, or that they convey cinematic symbolism.

But there is so much Hannibal fanfic where the violence feels so… disturbingly banal to me. Where the deaths don’t have any narrative weight and are completely trivial to our main characters. And this is imo completely out of keeping with even Hannibal Lecter’s own philosophy on the show, when he says that life is precious - not because he places particular value on life’s preservation for its own sake, but because he fully understands the gravity of what he is doing. His arrogance and sense of superiority is contingent on the understanding that the taking of a life is a serious thing, and a transcendent thing. Not flesh and blood, but light and air and colour. And I don’t see much light and air and colour in the kinds of fics that I’m talking about.

This is all very much entwined with the fact that a lot of these representations of violence seem to be bound up in the understanding that the show, and Will’s arc, is subtextually queer. And it absolutely is. But I often get the sense that these representations of violence, and the relationship between Will and Hannibal, are trying to overlay them with a very 2020s Positive Queer Representation approach, wherein Will and Hannibal’s love is misunderstood by the world, and thus their violence, as the symbol of their transgression, has to be portrayed and received by the audience an unalloyed good.

And this feels hard to explain, because of course this is a show that is very much about the pleasures of transgression. And it invites the viewer to share in that pleasure, in all the aforementioned ways. It’s drawing from a very 19th century Wildean mode in that regard - a sensibility that irreverently collapses all transgressions into one, and deliberately refuses to differentiate between the morally repugnant and the merely socially unacceptable. And that is very powerful as an engine for queer subtext, as it takes the very real feeling of being corrupt and tainted and wrong and leans into the seductive glamor of that corruption, rather than attempting to counteract that narrative (in ways that can feel, when in the throes of internalized homophobia, shallow and artificial).

But, within Hannibal, that thrill of transgression is inextricably bound up in horror. The pull of violence - and the bond it engenders between Will and Hannibal - is irresistible, but it is also a source of deep seated pain and terror. And those things are fundamentally not separable. There’s a sublimity to violence, and to desire, on this show - pleasure and pain, wonder and horror, are intertwined.

And a lot of the portrayals of violence-as-transgression as symbolic of queerness in fanfic just don’t grasp this. There’s an attempt to paper over the horror and the sublimity of the violence, and how it serves the queer symbolism. It always strikes me as though writers grasp that symbolism, but are trying to fit it into the mold of representation-as-a-means-of-social-advancement. It never lands for me and it leads to the aforementioned callous disregard for life that I just find distasteful. Which is not to say that I think portraying violence and murder in a manner that strikes a similar note to the show is an easy needle to thread - certainly not. (Not the least because it’s hard to translate the show’s visual language to writing.) But it is something I notice and that breaks immersion for me very quickly.

[ynscrazylife]

I love that you’re going to try some writing for JJ! She’s one of my biggest comfort characters and youre like a comfort blog so like this is so perfect. I know it’s not quite a fic idea but do you think you would want to write some headcanons or something about JJ being your mom (assuming reader is a teen girl going through typical teen girl antics) thank you!!!

jj being your mom (jennifer jareau x daughter!reader hcs)

JJ would literally be the best mom ever. She’s so supportive and is always there for you no matter what. Even when she’s away with the BAU, she’ll stop whatever she’s doing to answer your phone calls, even if it’s over something trivial like you’re wondering where one of your books is. She definitely puts her family first. You’re the most important person in her life (along with her sons of course).

You and JJ often do a really bad country/southern accent to tease your dad, which often results in him finding a way to tease you back.

She is incredibly proud of anything that you do and will make sure everyone knows it. She does not care if it embarrasses you — she’ll tell everyone about your accomplishments.

Everyone in the BAU absolutely adores you. If JJ’s running late, she’ll often say that you needed help or something, and Hotch has a soft spot for you, so he won’t care (this leads to the others also trying to use you for excuses when they’re late/they mess up, then it doesn’t work as well).

JJ attends every one of your school events, sports games, concerts, etc. She’s always prepared when it comes to her children, so she’ll get there early and gets the best view.

She’s the type of mom to practically have a magical purse. It has everything you could need at any given moment. Water, snacks, tissues, a pen, advil, hand sanitizer, you name it.

JJ is also a big mama bear. She’ll do anything to protect you. Someone says something bad about you? She has it handled. Someone dares to lay a hand on you? Well . . . JJ becomes quite a scary sight. She won’t tolerate anyone mistreating you at all.

Her loyalties also always lie with you. If someone says that you’re lying about something, she’ll always believe you over them, no matter what.

Going through teenager-hood is hard! JJ’s not phased at all, though. She’s always around when you want to talk and when you need your space, she respects that and gives it to you. I think respect and boundaries would be a big thing for her.

If you need help with homework though . . . You might have to go to Uncle Spencer for that (which he’s more than happy to assist in).

JJ has a bit of a rough relationship with her own parents so she’s always making sure that you know that she loves you. She doesn’t care if saying “I love you” all the time is cheesy, it’s very important to her.

She tells you all about your aunt and eventually passes on to you the necklace that her sister gave to her <3 Although sometimes painful, JJ wants you to know about your aunt and she encourages you to ask any questions you have.

Going on BAU cases can be hard. She doesn’t like being away from you and will always call to check in. She also keeps a photo of her family with her at all times.

JJ loves to surprise you by coming home early. Seeing the look of sheer happiness on her face is everything to her.

You really can talk to her about anything. She’s very approachable and down to earth. The cool mom for sure.

Sometimes her patience can be tested, but JJ is more concerned about working things through with you and talking rather than immediately punishing you for something wrong you did. She wants to understand what happened and treat you respectfully, making sure you understand where she’s coming from too.

JJ tries not to spoil you a ton (Penelope seems to have that covered) and isn’t the type to give into puppy dog eyes, but sometimes she can’t help herself.

She’s also not obsessed with you getting the very best grades! As long as you’re doing well and trying your hardest, she’ll understand if something comes up.

I feel like she’d be the type of parent to want you to go to college but if you have a different plan in mind, she won’t immediately put you down for it. She’ll talk with you first to get the full picture.

You definitely inherent sarcasm from JJ too. It’s a battle of the wits, you give her a run for her money. She LOVES your jokes and hearing you laugh. She’ll often say that your laughter is her favorite sound.

Ultimately, JJ tries her hardest to be the best mom and role model for you :) and you make sure she knows she’s appreciated, just like she makes sure you know that you’re appreciated, too. The two of you are a team, you’re partners in crime. She’ll always be there, even if she’s mad, or not home, she’s by your side.

[hisui-dreamer]

a world without you

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader

Synopsis: When Leona hears the Shroud brothers' plan, he thinks back to his herbivore, and how their existence has changed so much for him.

Tags: spoilers up to Ch 6!!!, established relationship, angst but fluff, drama, bot proofread

Word count: 878

Notes: this can be read as my view of leona's character, so please accept my leona brainrot <3 just some thoughts I had when I read ch 6. also leona might be a little ooc but it's his internal thoughts so I like to think he's more emotional :3

"It needs to reset before we can start a new game."

Shocked expressions were exchanged across the room as the implications of the younger Shroud's plan slowly settled on everyone's mind.

Leona couldn't help but think that, if the opportunity had been given to him a year ago, he'd likely have accepted whatever the robot kid was going for.

Leona always felt that he had been cheated in life. Ever since he was young, he was constantly compared to his older brother, who was seen as the epitome of success in their family, the perfect heir to the throne. Everyone would constantly praise his brother's achievements while dismissing his own accomplishments as trivial. It didn't matter that he was working hard to prove himself, that he could wield such powerful magic as a child.

He often wondered why he had to be born, if he was only meant to stay in another person's shadow to make them seem brighter in contrast.

No matter how hard he studied, how mature he acted, or how strong his magic was, it was all pointless. The ghostly whispers of the palace staff continued, and the judging remarks from the council intensified.

He was born as the second prince.

And he was destined to forever be just that—second.

When it finally clicked for him, he stopped trying. Why make an effort in anything, when time and time again, he had given his all only to end up with nothing? They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. Despite what others might say, Leona was incredibly brilliant, with a sharp mind fit to be a wise ruler. He knew, without a doubt, that it was pointless to continue down the road of insanity.

Instead, he continued down the path of sloth, eventually finding everything, the entire world, pointless. He found himself skipping classes and taking naps whenever he could, hiding away from the world where he would never be able to stand under the sun, but at least comforted by the serene embrace of his dreams.

He had wanted to turn the world to sand and start over.

It had been a wild thought, but here the Shrouds were, proposing an entire reset of the world.

Leona's mind raced as he contemplated the consequences of such an ordeal. Indeed, he had always dreamed of a world where everyone had an equal chance to succeed, where people were not judged based on their social status, birth order, or magical ability. A world where he was no longer burdened by the expectations of his family, where he was free to be who he truly was, a world where everyone was given a fair chance to succeed, and where no one was left behind.

And yet, without realising it, the thought of starting over in a new world had left his mind ever since you came into his life. You were everything he had ever wished for but never deserved in a partner—kind, caring, and endlessly supportive, always by his side despite his crude demeanour and harsh words. You showed him that there was meaning to living, opening his eyes to the people around him. He had friends who cared about him, incredible talent that could bring great changes, and most importantly, you, his dearest herbivore who shone like a beacon in the shadowed depths of his heart.

For the first time in his life, he felt truly content with what he had, despite all the flaws and problems that persisted.

He had never cared about resetting the world and losing everything he had to start anew. But it was a different story now.

What would happen to the people he cared about in this new world? What if he never met you? What if everything he had ever known and loved was erased? And what of the memories that he made at NRC with you, with Savanaclaw, and everyone else?

Leona's thoughts drifted to his memories of you, your fierce eyes staring directly into his, determined to befriend him; the quiet evenings you had spent together under the starry sky sharing stories and enjoying each other's company; the way you would instinctively lean into him for comfort; the dazzling smile that graced your face when you spotted him in a crowd.

He made up his mind then.

He didn't want, no, he wouldn't risk losing you. Your presence had given him the joy he had never experienced, the hope for a better day tomorrow, and he wouldn't give that up for anything. He would continue to work towards a fairer world, but he would do so without resetting everything that he had come to cherish.

He had learned to appreciate the people in his life. He had found happiness, despite the unfairness of the world. He knew that he had found something precious in this unfair world—someone who cherished him wholeheartedly for whatever he may be.

No, he doesn't want to reset the world.

"I'll grant you one thing. The world totally sucks as it is. But I don't think your new one would be any more to my taste. So I'm going to stick with this one. It's less of a pain."

[starrbright]

𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒 || 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐄

Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.

Kishibe finds his demise not to be of devils, fiends, wars—not even of death.

images used: X | X

April 2023 - April and June 2024. about fucking time. to the ones that encouraged me to start writing for csm, i'm truly so sorry for the long delay. when i started this piece for him, i was focused and suddenly i wasn't and a lot kept happening and i didn't want to touch this until i was on it entirely, i wanted this to be perfect, so i shelved it. and i hope the waiting does the justice. the lack of works for this anime with us fat readers is what started this all and you encouraged me, so thank you for that🙇🏽‍♀️🙏🏼. writing the end of this was so difficult, i'm so sorry again this kept delaying.

if you've read the manga or watched the show, you may have noticed or not—and that i've only realized i didn't address reader's contract with devils in the previous works in this series and in this one, the case is still the same 😁 because, honestly, i just forgot about it. apologies for that

nearing 8k words. all my y/n are afab, fat and of color. Reader is in 50's. with two children. a ten and four years old. divorced. ex-devil hunter. kishibe hums a lot here because he does that a lot. he barely talks as well, that's how i headcanon him, i just can't see him saying too many things that wouldn't be from someone like him🙁 slight slowburn. a tiniest tinge of crack. one thing about me in my works is i will always inject my pride in my characters! masturbation. light sparring. spit play? pussy eating. fucking.

I'll be disappearing for a while for another work, this drained me. enjoy!!! as always, thoughts are more than welcome!! thank you💌

On routine, that's how Kishibe's life was, all the same everyday. Even in the unusual situations with his job, all the same as well; natural. He's not sick of it, no. He's just....bored. Sure, he gets laid most of the time, but that, too, was routine. Funny thing to say for an old man like him, who has nothing going on in his life, on purpose, chooses to be.

Though just to say the least, he's quite getting sick of the boredom. But he doesn't do anything about it, there was nothing to come across his mind. So instead, his fate did it for him.

Delivering him something new, and that something was someone.

Someone moving into the building where he lives, in the top floor he's in, no less. In a building where it looks so lonely because it was a bit far away from the city and only a few buildings were surrounded by the place. It's literally lonely, one could say, because there are only three tenants in it and he's already included among them--and said three tenants don't know each other, let alone have crossed paths before. He preferred it that way.

For probably enough time that one could bear until they went mad, it was like that.

Until it was broken off by you.

And what's new is that you're there standing in the elevator with enough bags that one could carry sitting on the floor.

You know each other. He knows you. Only a few years younger late when you got in the division from him. Never worked with you but still knew of each other. One of the reasons is because you're known in the division, respected rather. A few of the primes, same like him. But that is until you switched to working in the office rather out in the field, still you were esteemed. That was all he knew. He never paid much attention to trivial things anyway; not unless it was something he should be concerned about.

"Kishibe?" You voiced, eyebrows furrowed.

"L/N." He replied, voice ever nonchalant.

As you stepped out of the elevator, he took a few of your bags from the floor as you did and you didn't say anything to it. No such thing as shyness or awkwardness between two grown people like you, let alone that you know of each other.

"So you're the one living here?" You asked, both of you walking in the long hallway.

"And you're moving."

"Guess we weren't both told then."

"That's the rule anyway."

Confidentiality was the top rule of the apartment, no introductions, not even background checks or anything. Closed off and expensive. That piques his interest, just a little though.

Though what you both find odd—even a little amusing is how you didn't even get to see each other when the two of you figure that of the day you checked out the place. And only now. What coincidence, you supposed.

Of you seeing how he was the only one living on the floor, you spoke your thoughts. "...And I suppose you being the only one here on this floor is ruined by me." You chuckled a little.

"Doesn't seem so bad." He answered just as easily and simply. Any other time back then, he wouldn't have liked this, it would have made his eyes sharp and lips fell even lower....but today, he's not gonna complain.

You nod, a small curve of your lips turning up. "...That's good to know," you say and not a second later, you arrived at your door. "....Well, thank you."

Kishibe laid the bags inside on the floor just as you opened the door, "Hmm," he just voiced before going his way.

This didn't deter you or anything, seeming to know that he's always been that.....rather reserved, you could say....anyone will, actually.

And as you went on to fix your things up, you thought of the man. That you were surprised to see him, much more that he lives here. You weren't bothered by it...just surprised—rather curious to what comes next.

This was him after all, the prime of the primes. The so reserved man, so as you now find new (the place he lives at could say a lot already) but suppose that's normal for his age, close to your age rather and especially in the kind of work you both have, let alone his.

"Shouldn't this be interesting?" You say to yourself just as you folded the last bag to its place.

Something new is what you came here for anyway,

As night has come, you made dinner not only for yourself but as well.....well, Kishibe. You'll be living closely for such a time and it's always right to give something for your neighbour. Though at the back of your mind, you can't help but think, does he even cook? eat for himself properly? It encouraged you more to give him something. Be it as a nature of a mother, and who was once a wife, you believe.

So late of the night when the time has come that the devil hunters usually go home from work, specifically in his rank—a few minutes after that said time, you went out from your apartment to head over his. Walking down the hallway, holding the small and still heated ceramic pot. As you reached the door, you knocked, successfully.

Seconds later, the door opened to show the man, looking a bit tired more than usual, just out from his coat but still in his attire, white shirt messily opened and hair ragged.

He has always been quite handsome, hasn't he?

"I'm sorry if I disturbed but I made you something as a gift of me moving in, I suppose." You spoke, putting up the pot slightly and he eyes it down.

He only said nothing but took the casserole from your hands and just hummed, walking back in, leaving the door open for you to just stand there, contemplating to leave as you figured the man was much more....him than he was.

Then you heard him speak, his usual voice that was gruffly. "Beer?" Coming from the kitchen.

You almost chuckled in surprise, thinking for a second he'd just leave without saying anything and now he offers you beer. Daring to take that as an invitation, you went in and closed the door. "I'm fine, thank you." You answer as you follow where he was. You see him took out a glass pitcher from the fridge and was holding a glass in his other hand, pouring the water in it as he put it on the table just beside the bottled and unopened beer.

Kishibe was a bit surprised, if he admits so. He actually thought you would have gone along just like everyone does.....just as he does normally. But here you are now, just at his door earlier, offering him a gift you made for him. So yes, he was surprised.

Opening the glass bottled beer, he took a light sip from it before opening the casserole that stood out on the table...well it was empty anyway. It was pasta, something he haven't had in a while, and something he'd devour in a while as he was damn hungry and haven't had dinner yet.

.....He was liking this new thing already.

The savoury scent immediately flourishes in the air, putting off the smell of musk and alcohol of the place. Kishibe didn't mind, though he just went to the wide terrace that lets the wind come in strongly, you follow shortly and he leans on the railings, a cigarette already in his mouth.

You placed yourself a bit far across from where he was leaning your waist back on the railings, the sound of night faint in the background. "How long have you been living here?" You asked.

The man let out the smoke before answering, still looking ahead, "Don't exactly count it,"

You nod, looking at him for a second as you lightly chuckled, uttering a small, "Of course."

Kishibe then gave you a side glance, looking at the view again. "Why'd you choose this?"

"I wanted to be away from the city but not so far that it'll be inconvenient for me and my children, and there this place was."

This made his eyebrows furrow but he wasn't looking at you, though you saw that. "They're separated from me as I'm divorced from my ex-husband....let him gain custody of them." You spoke but just stopped there, not wanting to say too much.

He looks at you this time, not tearing it away. "Is that why you switched to the office?"

Trivial things....trivial things he doesn't get involved with, nor even asked questions about.....but maybe this one won't change a thing and normal he thought it was to be curious at the very moment.

"Yes," That's what you only answer, he doesn't ask more and just looked away from you. Only smoke lingers in the air, no sense of any discomfort but you're both just there.

Until you spoke again, "I'll be off now, good night." You bid as you crossed your arms over your robes and stood up straight before walking. You only hear him hum as you did.

It was the beginning of a new thing to become a routine.....one that he wouldn't be sick of.

As it was the same for you. Just after finally settling down, your new abode made, you began to get more comfortable in the place. That meant with your neighbour. Well, maybe not so much but just enough to give him what you cook when you have time to make such meals at night. Just enough to let yourself in his place as every time you brought him something. Always in the terrace, the man will always smoke and drink his beer or just from his flask, and you'd just be there, not talking of anything but work, at least after a few nights then you both began speaking of said work, all the ordeals you go through...but still words were only kept short and few.....and just only that.

.

.

.

Stacked papers in your hands piled up on your arms as you're in the elevator, just walking out of it when it reaches your floor. Just as you're halfway in the hallway, Kishibe walks out of his place and he stops when he sees you, looks at his watch then back to you, not even fazed with the countless papers you have.

This makes you chuckle, slowing down. "Yes, my office was quite busy this afternoon because of the new recruits and what happened in the city." You spoke, Kishibe barely tuts his head, knowing how paperworks after hunting, its casualties and much more that comes with it—can be a bitch.

Figuring that with how late it is and the fact the man has been getting his dinner from what you've been giving him lately—you asked simply. "Are you getting dinner?"

That and maybe getting laid, he's had a damn day after that shit happened in the city. But maybe not tonight after all.

Kishibe took some of the papers and folders from you and began to walk towards your door. "What are you making?"

Your lips curved slightly, "Harako Meshi, been a while since I've had it and my friend gave me sake, so I figured."

Kishibe doesn't think there's been a second for him to think that he hasn't liked it every time you bothered him ever since you showed up. Yeah, he can't see that he'll be getting sick of this thing soon.

There he smokes on your balcony just as he laid the papers and folders on the table in the living room. And you're already in the kitchen just after you changed into a more comfortable clothes....a clear view of you as you work.

Your space was much more different from his ( Untouched and just left how it was. Dull. ) you damn turned the place upside down, one wouldn't think this one room was inside a soulless building. It reeks of home.

Home. He's unfamiliar with that since he was young and until now, let alone of the very word.

Kishibe sought to think how someone like you could still be in this kind of life. And he thought he's thinking enough, so he turned to the view and took a long drag.

You weren't oblivious to his stare, it doesn't bother you. Clear was how you hear his unspoken thoughts, it doesn't bother you as well. Anyone would think the same.

As you continue to work in the kitchen, you thought....how long it must have been for him since he's been in a home.....to feed well. A part of you smiles in daring to hope to give him a taste of it...no matter how...cruel it was if one were to see it in the other way. Give the satiated man he knows he doesn't...wouldn't...couldn't have.

Your conscience lies in just doing something nice for him.

You begin to prepare the table and Kishibe walks in, unhesitantly bringing some of the things you made on the table and the sake, of course. Now there you both are sitting across from each other and started to eat.

"I've heard that you'll be training the two recruits." You spoke.

Kishibe nods as he continues to eat-he really was damn glad he didn't go out. "Two fiends, nothing I can't handle."

"I'm sure." You spoke mindlessly....then you speak again. "She's planning something, isn't she?"

"She's always planning something."

That much was unfortunately and thankfully known. "Teach the boy well."

"I'll give him hell."

"You better."

You two didn't even miss a beat.

Kishibe's lips almost quirked as he drank. It was...quite...good to know that there lies an agreement between the dangerous notion. Nothing but truth in your voice as you speak every time....expectedly rare in the life of you both live.

"You stayed even if the cause of your separation is because of it." He spoke, no tone of anything but just his own voice.

Again, you were quite surprised as he said that, clearly not expecting him to take any interest, let alone even a bit of curiosity from him. But you didn't show it, nor were you offended by what he asked.

"Because this way, I can still protect them without risking my life so much before and not worry them anymore."

Of course.

"You and Quanxi were a loss to both the divisions." He'll give you that much.

And you were proud for that one. "We're all lucky that they let me switch without anything in return and that you remained to shoulder all the shit."

He couldn't agree more.

Now you both are done eating, with you fixing up the table and Kishibe on your balcony once again smoking—before you join him, nothing but the distant sounds of the city.

"Hayakawa?" You asked.

"Close."

"Have you warned Himeno?"

"He's set straight to it. Screws all lose."

You took a sharp breath from your nose as you looked up at the sky. "Kind boy," you spoke mindlessly.

Kishibe just hums as he let out his smoke. Silence came in and it was welcomed..a few more while, his cigarette ran dry....and there he bids. "Good night," and you just stood there still ahead to the view and him not sparing a glance as he spoke.

Normal night, you supposed.

Work was work. Walking in the corridors in the division, headed to your office...Kishibe was there walking in your opposite direction. As you both continue to walk, no glances were made but kept straight. A few times in that and left in the back of your minds.

And...now...he walks in the elevator of the apartment just as you did earlier seconds ago.

"You making something?" he asks as the elevator closes. It seems he likes your cooking more than you thought.

You hum, nodding. "Vegetable curry."

Kishibe raises his brow, "At night?"

You chuckle a little, "It seems so."

He just hums.

As you now cook in your kitchen, the door is left opened for the man who is still yet to come.

Then, what an odd mixture of the night was; aroma of the dish, cigarette and alcohol. It was welcomed nonetheless.

.

.

.

For some fucking reason...Kishibe hasn't had sex for a while...well...ever since you moved in, that is. And he's a simple man but dumb...he knows the reason why; you. Some fucking reason, huh.

Blind. The notion coming as unexpected...maybe...but is it really unexpected...really?

After all, what is to be expected when two grown people share the same floor together, what is to be expected when each night they share dinner together...what is to be expected when those two persons have some needs and those needs untouched?

Yeah, you. You've been...having thoughts about the man, you weren't bothered by it...if anything, again, you deemed it normal...and you aren't denying it as well. The man is fucking appealing. You know you can't blame yourself for it and you don't. But of course, that doesn't mean you'd act upon it. You are in need, needy, sure...maybe even aching but you have your....yes—your pride.

Oh, you're well aware that there lingers something in the air, it's palpable but still subtle...however hidden, it's there and you feel it. You both do.

But what does Kishibe do? Nothing. Went with his day and night like his mind hasn't thought of running his cock through a certain fucking someone. He's not exactly sure of what's keeping him from doing the exact thing.

But what's not keeping himself from doing is letting his hand go down on him, his free hand loosening his tie as he sits back on his couch lazily. Hardened length straining so tight against his boxers and black slacks.

"Hmghm..." He groans. That sinful sound...that rumbles through his chest so good even with his lips just closed. Kishibe took his already lit cigarette from the ashtray on his table, taking a long drag as he continues to palm himself. His fingers firmly pressing on his clothed cock.

He let out the smoke from his mouth. Pent up heat in him almost leaving along with the smoke, staring to nothing at the ceiling, his eyes clearly seeing your tempting figure. Engraved you were in his mind, he can thank himself for always letting his eyes linger on you, taking you all in when he stands on your balcony as you cook in your kitchen. Not turning his gaze away anymore ever since his...needs gotten the best of him and satisfied his eyes.

With one hand, he unhooked his belt and took seconds to free his aching cock, standing proud and leaking already. Kishibe closed his eyes, his head still laid back on the couch, exhaling deeply once his fingers wrapped on his base...allowing whatever was enabling him to feel it as your own fingers, it slides down so slowly, the closed palm confining his cock so warm and good, what he has been depriving of.

Your hands....your hands that moves fluidly when you handle your cooking, his mind flashing him visions that your hands are on his cock whenever he's there in your balcony.

Kishibe takes another long drag as he continues to suffocate his cock, still so slow, up and down, a strained groan this time as he slowly let out the smoke, eyes still closed. Feeling your hand go a bit fast now. Sweat and pre coating his length and your plush skin, it makes his chest start to rise and fall now. Droplets of sweat gathering on his skin and it drips down from his neck to his chest and down to his abdomen.

A rhythm being found. Still not that fast but enough...so enough to build fire in him as you circle your closed palm on him up and down, all while you run your thumb on his tip every time.

.....The fuck you do to him...penting him up just by watching you cook there...a humanly ritual...a domestic act...one he was barely familiar of and he's getting all hot about it. The cigarette he takes is blameless for it, but what he's familiar of humanly ritual...is need.

And what he needs is release.

Kishibe's throat strains as he hums….an animalistic growl as the ministrations on his cock continues. The pace still the same but filling in his peak slowly, and he likes it that way. Just as how the alcohol he drinks burn slowly in him. He savours it each and every time, just like right now, Kishibe feels you take your sweet time fisting him hard and steady. His tip continuously leaking, leaking more each time the pads of your fingers would go over his tip and press on it.

He held his cigarette with two fingers as that same hand reached out to get his glass on the table. Taking a drink of his whiskey as your hand never stops on him. Fucking hell...that flaring smoke of his cigarette, the alcohol, the burning waves from his straining cock, it engulfs him, enough...more than enough to send any being into euphoria. Deep and long groans rumbles from him as he feels it all, his throat and all the way down, burns. Clenching him.

However he was drowning in fire already, however enough it was...he wants more...he wants more than your hand. So what he does is grab the crown of your head and make you take his cock into your mouth, fingers gripping your hair to guide you in. Lips sliding against his thick and long length, tongue flat above him, the walls of your mouth and the end of your throat. "Fuck." Kishibe growls, the glass got put down on the table too hard that it might have cracked, his cigarette almost falling from his fingers.

Gurgled sounds vibrates through him and he hears it, he hears you. His grip on your hair strong as ever so as to keep the pace going, fast and hard, he assaults your mouth, his drips spilling to your tongue, down to your throat. His peak long gone from burning tantalizingly slow and turned to wildfire, overflowing, his hips now twitching, rising to make the pressure he gets in your mouth stay. Kishibe feels your breath going away as he doesn't let you breathe but just continues to hold your hair so tight, still making you take him. He can't lose his end...so whatever what was left in him is now gone as he moves his hips to fuck your mouth better. Slowly he does while he makes yours only faster and harder if it's still possible.

"Mhmgr fuck..." His growling sounds never stops as it continues, his hips slapping to you, abusing your mouth with his cock again and again. It didn't take much longer for him to see his release; all of him strongly clenched as his cock stilled in you, reaching the end of your throat, he feels it go down while his cum flows in you. The cigarette on his fingers now being crushed in his hand as he closed his fist so tight, the burning pain on his skin was nothing as he stays in his high, cock flinching in you while his lower body continues to slowly move against you to feel it all.

"Mgrhm…” It's what echoed in his walls continuously, his chest slowly comes down from its rising and falling, shirt soaked with sweat, hair falling with droplets of it as well.

"Kishibe."

He hears you call out to him from your kitchen. Dead eyes, he looks to you. "I think you wasted your cigarette." You nod to his cigarette on his hand...and as he now noticed, realized—it was crushed by his strongly closed fist, burning his skin once more. Kishibe opened his hand, showing his long before scarred flesh now freshly tainted...bits of its remains falling...because he was thinking of having your hand on his cock and fucking your mouth last night when he was only doing it by himself.

His thoughts long left to ashes the moment he stood in your balcony once again this night.

He needs to end this. He will have you soon.

Anticipation fills you. You know one way or another something will happen, you don't know when but you know it's hanging on by a thread...it has your heart racing...and your cunt beating.

The air of the night was fucking thick as you eat together.

And it's getting thicker with each passing second as the morning comes. It had to be fucking Saturday, where it's both your day off. But thankfully...as fucked up as it's sounds, you'd be luckily distracted as your two children will come over in the afternoon. And hopefully, he won't be in his place or anything to not cross paths with him today. The last thing you want right now is to see him at the moment...some part of you knows that if you do—it would be not too different from your thoughts.

But even that, of course...us creatures are nothing to the will of time; just another words to say it ended how one would normally expect. Bumping into each other...well, not exactly that, maybe worse than it. With him walking into your place with your two children walking in front of him.

The moment you heard a heavy footsteps along with a light and rapid ones, your eyebrows furrowed as you took a few steps aside to see who it was and you almost dropped the tray of freshly baked cookies from your hands as your eyes met his.

It took you not even a second to figure out the reason what's happening right now; you let your children just play around and inevitably went out of your place to go and play around on the floor. Either they knocked on his door or ran into him—either way, you knew your children likes to be friendly...and that says a lot, given how only a few children would approach a man like Kishibe.

You should have known better.

Though what could you have done to avoid it from happening, anyways. Finding your composure inside of you. "Tell me they just ran into you and didn't knock on your door." You spoke, laughing lightly as you went back to work.

"They knocked," Kishibe answers simply, as always.

"Yes, of course." You nod as a little laugh escapes you once more. Setting the cookies on the cooling rack. The sounds of your children in the background as Kishibe now stood in your kitchen, leaning the back of his waist on the counter, his eyes on you.

You were glowing...he hasn't noticed that before. He's sure he hasn't heard you laugh that much as well, probably normally because of your children...something is gotta be wrong with him...no, that's just his...desires that's making him notice.

You could strangle yourself right now, maybe even do something worse, because what the fuck is his problem staring at you while you're trying your best to not even so much show an ounce of waver in your composure and you know he knows what he's doing. What the fuck is he even gonna do here?

...Yeah, your mind was all over the place and that has rarely happened before, almost never. Yet you can't find the urge...the guts to ask him why he's staying right now this time.

Instead, you fucking ask him if he wants coffee, he just nods as he took one of your cookies.

Maybe...he stayed for your cookies

You almost bash your head on the counter as the thought occurred.

The kettle made its noise and you made your coffees. "You gonna have them over for dinner?" He asked.

"Mmnn, yes," you answer. But you hesitate to ask if he'll join.

"What are you making?" he asks once more. Your lips quirked as your mouth is now close to your cup. Well, you didn't have to worry about that after all.

"Pasta. It's their favourite." You spoke. And Kishibe remembers the night you gave him that dish. He still has the taste at the end of his tongue when he lets you in his door, he cannot wait to taste it again.

Which he does as the night falls, with your children across from both of you as your besides each other this time. The laughter of you and your children...it's nice. Pasta and among other things he can barely remember the names of, nonetheless he eats so well. Lots of it tastes unfamiliar and yet it's so welcoming...he wants more of it.

Kishibe's mind is stirring, the smoke is fogging his mind, so as he believes....or something must be in your food—he's really losing it.

And through his silence with only little of his words, through his eyes with your subtle glances besides him; you see through him. It almost worries you...you really gave him a taste of it. Where it goes from here next, you don't know but possibilities, of course, runs in your mind...more possibilities.

And it fueled even more when you caught a glimpse of his eyes when you got embraced and kissed by your ex-husband as he arrived to pick up your children...and Kishibe met your gaze as your former lover did.

The mere act alone...nothing needed to be said more.

The night hangs quiet when your children goes with their father, with Kishibe still there with you. If it was possible, the beating of your heart could echo loudly in your place as you fix up the table, with him following you to do the same, it's the first time he helped you with it....it's enough to say what it could possibly mean.

The glasses in your hand clang against one another as your said hand trembles a little to lay it down in the sink, while he walks close to you to put the plates in it as well. You're both so close to each other. He towers over you, he's just that damn tall. Kishibe only stands there as you did, his eyes looming above and behind you, his breathing turning deep that it was now heard in the deafening silence.

He can have you right there and then. Be relieved of his insanity.

Yet instead he speaks, "How long has it been since you sparred?"

Your mouth has already exhaled a light laugh before you could stop yourself. "It has...been quite some time."

In his mind, what he's to do could compensate for what he doesn't yet—"Why? You gonna run my memory?"

Before you know it, you're trapped by the counter and him, the edge of a knife on your throat, your hand on his wrist firmly—your eyes dead on him in sheer stun, laced with thin provocation. Seeing his gaze doesn't change at all; it was more maddening. "You doubted me." You at last utter in a calculating disbelief, your fingers tightening around his grip.

Kishibe lives by your nerves resonating through him, they're loud and strong because of him. It feeds him. "I wondered." He spoke, still having the blade directly on you.

You don't feel anything from him but now that the proximity grants you to fully look him in the eyes, you can finally see he's burning.

The evidence is more worrying than the weapon dying for your throat.

"That's wounding." You breathe.

"Everything is."

You only scoff at his reply, before your other free hand swiftly went to get another knife of his from one of his pocket and aimed it for the side of his head—only for him to stop it by his hand that once trapped you, his hold just effortlessly firm, barely a strength to keep you from driving the blade in his brain.

Even when you never worked together, your reputation has never doubted you and that he can see now right in front of him.

"Proof enough?" You ask.

Not enough of you.

He only huffed a short hum. Just like that, he retracts the knife against you and that you held against him. "Good night."

Not now. Not yet. The burning in him, he wants to feel it more before anything.

The exchange has you falling to your knees as your hands weakly hold on the sink. A warning for what's to come more.

What deprivation can do to a being.

Yes, indeed what it can do to a being; it has Kishibe filling his glass with whiskey, trying to wash away whatever he's thinking, whatever he's feeling. But no matter how many downs he takes, it doesn't go away, it won't, it can't. Especially not when the sight of you and your ex-husband...lovingly held each other, even when it was short, it was undeniable there was.....love between you both still. He doesn't know the bits of your remaining relationship with your ex-husband, but he sees well enough that there isn't something between you both....and yet, when he saw that sight, it bothered him, something went off.

Another man clinging to you like that, it comes crashing down. It's getting ridiculous. He's gonna turn into ashes if he continues to let this burn.

Icarus' wings could only bear so much of the sun after all.

.

.

.

The day is going too fucking slow and it's driving you crazy. You're at work and you haven't even had a glimpse of him in the apartment nor at work. Just what is happening to you, acting like a damn puppy who can't seem to keep it in. It has you tired as you come home. Heels heavy as you walk through the corridors, eyes lingering to his door as you pass by.

You were left nowhere but to wait. So wait you did. Your door left open—you begin to prep for dinner after taking a long time under the water, composure building up again all while. But of course, your mind was still somewhere else, your insides never stopping of its fluttering as you mindlessly go.

By doing that, it was only a mere expectation of yours for it to now actually happen.

Though a complete lack on your part, really, that even with years of being a hunter and still having whatever you've learned and throughout all the years even when you switched from being one—you missed that someone has walked in your place.

Now you find yourself suddenly dropping the knife you were washing, the water left running as you felt a strong presence loom behind you. You stood there unmoving, breath caught in your throat the moment you felt it. Felt him.

The seconds turned slow but your heart was the opposite being filled with...thrill. "Kishibe." A breathless murmur echoes faintly but he hears it greatly and there comes his rope snapping. Your voice that's been plaguing him, it finally mutes everything.

Kishibe laid his hand on your right arm and the other around your waist as he pulled you tightly close against him, immediately meshing his fingers on your belly. Your breath being taken away from you again. He won't say he can't believe what's happening because he expected the boundness when he grew close to you.

His hand on your arm has been rising up, rough palm on your skin, his grasp heavy; feeling the softness of the fat on your arm to your shoulder, kneading you there with his mouth heated on the side of your forehead. "Been too long." In a low breath he says as he continues to tightly caress on your shoulder, before going down to slip under your dress then slipping his fingers in your bra, his thumb and index finger now playing with your nipple, the rest of his palm fondling your breast.

Creatures of nightmares that crawl from nothing to land he's dealt with for so long, he himself bounded to those, unthinkable abilities he wields; he never questioned reality. But there's an impenetrable sense of high he's in as he fixes in your softness, it doesn't feel real. It's peaceful, he thinks that is what dreaming is.

"I think it's just about time." You merely replied, finding your hand relying firmly on his nape, as the other reaches for the faucet to stop the running water while he goes on. Your waked mind still there before you let yourself go in a haze later.

Kishibe ghosts his face down on the side of yours, his nose breathing you in so much before he opens his eyes and looks at your lips—then to your gaze.

He feels foolish again but he feels it more so the more he thinks about it, so he just simply kisses you now.

It has been too long.

It's humorous; a simple kiss making you want to fall on your knees.

The remnants of cigarette and whiskey you're now familiar with, you can taste with mouths being held together, and he begins with mildly sucking you. His hand that was groping on your belly trails up to your neck, pushing his mouth to yours even more as he drags it open—only to suck your lips once again out of hunger that he spills freely, swallowing roughly each kiss he takes after the other, soaking his dry mouth with you—only then he uses his tongue against yours, tangling on one another, roaming it inside you, swimming his tongue in whatever saliva that gathers in your mouth. Dragging you in.

A simple kiss.

So much for it when you pull away before you could no longer breathe—your chest heaves, lips parted with air heavily leaving in and out of you. He's no different; gaze darkened as blown, you could almost hear the growl that threatens to echo from him, his grip creasing on your neck to your nape and he turns you around to face him. He pushes you just slightly to put the back of your waist against the edge of the sink, leaning his body down so he's levelled to you.

The hand of yours on his neck slides to lay it on the side of his face, it's the first time you're looking at each other this long, for more than five seconds directly, let alone this close, gazes straight through your souls. Kishibe always looks at the person he talks to straight at them without falter, and you've seen that having him done it to you only a few times, before you both always turn your eyes away as the days kept going. Now you see all of him as he allows himself.

A voracious kiss.

When has a man been so…..desperate?

When have you ever been so wanting? Shameless; rapid, messy, strong, wet.

Drowning in need you seek. Your sex has long gone weeping in your panties. Kishibe’s throbbing cock only soothed by the tightness of his clothes below, even as he was starting to drip of his own arousal, he just left it before he took you up to lay your back on the counter after suffocating your lungs in that kiss, simply pushing off the things that's there and shattered on the floor but never parting his mouth away from you, from your face, your neck, to your chest and belly while his hands took off your undergarments below as he goes down more.

It's incomprehensible. Your fate that brought you upon him, that has led to a path of the Kishibe barely on his knees to finally have a taste of your pussy. The feeling of his mouth and tongue latched on your cunt the first second was already the last thread of your hold on your existence. That hold became your fingers wading through his hair, thighs already trembling in his tight grasp, sounds of pleasure etched to your erratic breathing.

Kishibe is not at all rough when he began—subdued; each kiss he gives, each suck he takes is heavy. He doesn't want to rush. He has suffered to simply hurry and not feel every thrum he could get. His wide and long tongue flat on your whole mound, drinking your slick with each drag he licks, his stubble grazing against the hair and flesh of your cunt.

There's no words from you both, it doesn't exist. Only flesh and unruly power that conjured from your desires. Only the sounds of a hungry man one with his devils as he feeds.

It begins to rise more, the fire your body collects, his ceaseless hunger. Your grip on his hair deepening. The grind of your hips for your cunt to ride his face. The unstoppable tremble of your limbs as you move against him, thighs barely clutching to his head despite his hurtful grip to keep your sex tact to him. The repeating shock and clenching of your pussy with each spit he threw. His mouth nor breath not once waver until he gave your end, only for him to take it out of you again and again. All numb, nerves just wildly spiking everywhere within you—pussy left raw and still weeping, throat dry and eyes in tears.

However his boundless hunger, his mouth is at least given a little bit of your pussy for now for it to be enough and move next. So Kishibe then stood up, your tearful eyes following. It remains unreal to you. His lips so red, half of his face soaked. He swipes his thumb on his cheek, jaw and to his chin, catching what drips from his mouth of the myriad of your cum and swallowed it like the rest. Before that same hand ran over his dishevelled wet hair, and simply took off his tie in one go. Eyes kept on one another the whole moment.

You no longer own your breath….the sounds you've been making…the fog clears more, blinking the tears away, the coldness of the metal in spite of all the heat, your dress clinging on your skin, drenched with sweat; there's a little of shame that seeps back in you.

But you don't turn away from his gaze. Kishibe holds it. You follow him. It took you that long to make a decision. Desirably, you accept it.

Amusing as it is for Kishibe seeing you unfold, he doesn't know how much longer he could stand to not just fuck you senseless. The sound of his belt snapping as he took it off from his pants wakes you up. “Done being in your head?”

Coherent words exist again. You tirelessly breathe out a little laugh, “Barely.” You keep cursing in your head and they're louder now as he frees himself.

He couldn't help the tut on the edge of his lips when he saw the fleeting look of stun from you once he now held his cock. “Just about time, huh?” he plainly taunts as he spits on his palm before he strokes himself.

It's been so long. And he's damn big.

“Fuck you.” You scoffed.

Kishibe swears there was laughter that swirled inside him but didn't reach his mouth. Only the strain in your breath as his left hand gave your still drooling cunt attention again, your body involuntarily tensing before easing again while he slid two of his thick fingers in and barely loosened you up for just mere seconds.

The bits of pain remains treads you on edge, expecting it to double soon. His blood prevails to course so explosively.

You both expected it, nonetheless still by the skin of teeth when Kishibe grazed his cock in. Your walls a soaked and snug furnace, barely halfway—"Fucking,” he trailed off in a mutter, the fingers of his left hand digging on your thigh, the other lightly choking your throat. Each trudge he makes fill the fullness of your cunt takes. It's plain insanity.

“Just about time, huh?” You get back, barely.

Kishibe's laugh is at last freed. It really is madness. It was just an air of laugh, teeth shown; it was priceless. One that you beheld before he just plunges in with no more room left for hesitation. “You fucking—” you growled after he slammed into you, your sudden glare sharply closing as your body took in that shocking goodness against the pain.

“This is nothing yet.”

It is.

It was.

But once again when he began, it's slow and kept. The sting that drags melts more to tight fondling sensations from every thrust he pushes deep in your pussy. You didn't think you would have had a cock fuck you to be this staggering, render you brainless—or more so believe it that's it now happening after having……fantasized of it. Kishibe's cock feeds your pussy so well. You keep him in too well. Soon then again, his abilities are not held back and it's just quite pitiful how you're holding back to not just already break and cum for the nth time. It doesn't matter to him, not really—he wants nothing more than to wring you empty for him.

That's just what he does. He let it go by unsaid as he kept fucking you, making you break no sooner. Your mind barely comprehends he's kissing you as your cum spills and he's still ramming again and again, not making you ride your high, letting his drool make a mess on your mouth again.

You don't stop him however, nor you could in your state. And when he reaches his first end, how is it still possible you break more? Kishibe's left hand holding a death grip on the edge of the counter above your head once he stilled deep inside you, his pulsing cock floods your pussy of his cum. Much of it. He'll be moulding you to a greedy creature in no time, meeting his own ruin. Eyes mirroring too clearly upon one another. You're far gone than you'd have thought you'd be with him, and you don't want to ever go back.

Kishibe has long made that decision before he invaded your home tonight.

The high strongly lingers, still burrowing himself in you before he slowly moves and relives that beating high again. Thick drools of hotness webs in your walls that keeps you full even as he pulls out entirely and seeps out from your folds.

Heats still raging and barely satiated after having much of it.

Your kitchen is a mess and reeking of sex. He takes you standing and bent over the counter after, easily holding you up as he railed you like so, drenching your cunt again with his cum. Keeping his prowess in his wield, when he just carried you to your living room after and had you on his lap as he sat on a couch. Your clothes finally ripped off of you and had you bare as you rode him while he watched and felt the glory. Remnants of your sex left on the couch when he took yourselves to your bedroom, taking you again with your face buried in the sheets, back arched for him as he fucked you from behind. And when you both break again, he doesn't stop, instead loomed himself over your back and still delved his cock in and out endlessly while cum flows out messily, your loud moans strained from his hand squeezing your throat and head deep on the bed. Even as the dawn rises, Kishibe remains.

No end in sight.

[ask-aph-hws-iceland]

[OOC: hello! Paiko here! I just have a few things I'd like to discuss. Now, I do have to make a few disclaimers before I go on. I absolutely do not condone the harassment of anyone regardless of what I may discuss and how it may apply to anyone. I also want to make it known that this doesn't mean anything for my ask blog. I'm not abandoning it. Iceland is here to stay! I also would like to clarify that this doesn't apply to most of the people I've interacted with on this ask blog. Most of you are absolutely wonderful, and (contrarily to my portrayal of Iceland) I am a huge extrovert, so I absolutely love interacting with everyone.

That being said, I've noticed that some of us aren't too familiar with some common unspoken rules of having an ask blog, so I'll try to bring a few up, shall I?

Let's start with something simple.

1)You are not entitled to anyone's character. I'll try to say this as nicely as possible, but you're not playing dolls with your siblings where you can make demands as to how the story should go. Your version of a character is not absolute and people should not have to alter their character to fit your own mold. It is also very sucky to try and force your headcanons onto someone else. If you really dislike someone's character so much, you're more than welcome to find another ask blog.

2) your right to swing your fist ends at the tip of my nose. This one is slightly related to the last one, so it'll be a bit shorter. Do not try to force your chosen course of events onto someone else. Yes, we all love having our characters in strange little scenarios, but if someone isn't cool with that, that's a shame, but it never gives you the right to try and force them into it. Creating an arc in an ask blog community is... Hard. It's hard to get everyone on board. A great example of an arc well done is the meeting arc we had for a bit. That was funny, super sweet and it was actually quite immersive. Everyone had fun, we all caused chaos, it was great. When someone isn't entirely on board, then it gets a little unfortunate. If you want to have a full arc with a fellow ask blog you can communicate over PMs. I know not all of us care to use them, but it can be very helpful in coordinating something like this so there are no issues later on. Especially if said arc deals with any form of rivalry or conflict. Otherwise, you're just attacking someone for no apparent reason.

3) your fellow ask bloggers are not therapists. A bit of character angst can be nice when done right. It can help explore these kinds of issues in a digestible way, but when it's essentially just using mental health issues as a plot point to get the story where you want it, that's when we start having problems. I mentioned this before on my main blog, but trivializing mental health under the guise of representation really does not sit quite right with me and nor should it anyone else. My interpretation of Iceland is a really insecure teen. It plays a lot into his character and he has this self-deprecating humour that can come across as concerning at times. The difference here is that Iceland's character is not seeking help here. His character is meant to be relatable. A lot of us make this sort of joke. When it's just 'oh, this arc isn't going how I wanted it to? That's fine, let me just have the character have some serious mental problems as a result of that!' then I have a huge issue with it. If your character is the type to always complain about their life and walk around with a half empty bottle of booze belligerently yelling about their happenings, it's important that this character is treated as a punchline. Even as someone who has never and will never drink, I can recognise how funny and tension breaking a character like that can be.

4) please respect other people's personal rules. Some of us dislike shipping and whatnot for various reasons. Keep in mind that a lot of the people you interact with are minors. This isn't a dating simulator. I, for example, forbid shipping as Iceland is a minor and I am personally not comfortable with shipping him even if the other character is also a minor. If you're cool with that, fantastic! But not on my blog. This plays into the whole not forcing your storyline on someone else point, but it's important to me that people understand that when someone says they're uncomfortable with something, stay away from that something while interacting with them. I've stated wanting to keep this blog mostly PG. That is a boundary, not a request. I can and will ban anyone who disregards mine or anyone else's rules.

I'm sorry if this post came across as a little harsh. I don't mean to attack anyone. I'm just trying to ensure everyone's safety here. If you see a problem with anything I've said don't be scared to bring anything up. It never hurts to discuss.

Once again, thank you for coming to my yap session.]

[sexhaver]

ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:

super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)

legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex

we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around

attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes

leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)

moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half

the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate

downsides:

on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad

the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad

this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know

it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s

i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it

[wendytestabrat]

kyle is an arrogant know-it-all

i swear there are are sooooo many moments in the show where like cartman tells the guys abt something or some shit and then kyle’s smug ass ALWAYS has to fucking correct him abt it or act all skeptical and start arguing for no fucking reason. it’s moments like those where i totally feel for cartman on why he finds kyle annoying af and thinks kyle is always out to get him LOL. bc A LOT of those moments cartman is telling the truth and talking abt something that’s legitimately happening and then kyle always has to be like “no way” or “you’re lying” EVEN WHEN CARTMAN IS RIGHT ABT SHIT. and in a lot of those moments cartman isn’t even talking to kyle, he’s telling the other characters something and then kyle butts in and makes it all about him LOL. like that’s arrogant AF to always feel like you’re right and have to insert your unwarranted input even when you’re deadass WRONG. i’m an arrogant know-it-all too (i mean i’m a leo i can’t help it LOL) and correct people A LOT but i only do that shit when i know for a fact that what someone is saying is wrong or not true & the stupidity is making my head explode and i have the facts & receipts to back it up. people who just correct you just to correct you are the most annoying bitches ever bc i’ve been around soooo many people like that. i’ll be saying something that I KNOW FOR A FACT IS TRUE, and i’m not even trying to start an argument, i’m just talking about something and then some bitch feels like he/she needs to discredit what i’m saying for no fucking reason even when the shit they’re ‘correcting’ me about is flat out not true LOL. like it’s such a clownish thing to do when people feel the need to do that shit. what that tells me is they’re insecure af and threatened by my intelligence so much that they feel like they need to undercut me over the most trivial things that they have 0 knowledge on and haven’t done any research about. kyle def is right in a lot of these moments and is legitimately calling cartman out on something he’s being stupid abt or making up, but the fact that there are soooo many moments where kyle is WRONG and cartman turned out to be right, but he STILL feels like he has to undercut everything cartman says rlly shows how jealous of cartman and insecure he is. like kyle should know by now that cartman does have a lot of valuable insights to share and comes up with fun ideas and shit even if cartman SOMETIMES turns out to be making shit up or doing something dumb. i think the best example of kyle’s obnoxious arrogant know-it-all attitude was when he was sooo damn sure he was right abt leprechauns not being real and even when kyle fucking LOST the bet he couldn’t just admit he was wrong and still kept trying to justify why leprechauns can’t exist (and wouldn’t suck cartman’s balls LOL). kyle was rlly being the dumbass in that episode, not cartman. and with all the crazy shit he encounters in south park shouldn’t he be more open-minded that there can indeed be leprechauns and cartman is telling the truth? this is the same kid that has encountered jesus on a regular basis even tho he’s jewish LOL.

[alinaastarkov]

I kind of fell down the jonrya rabbit hole and would like to hear more opinions. I'm not convinced that George gave up on JonArya. No one has proof of this or can pinpoint exactly where he was abandoned. No character has replaced Arya's importance to Jon and vice versa, and I don't think that will ever happen. Their relationship is the strongest in asoaif and is treated as a driving force and something separate from the rest, and I ask myself why. What is the reason for so much emphasis? ADWD is the book with the most clues, since Jon spends a lot of time agonizing over her. He dies for her in the end, and she is his last thought. Not to mention that famous line about the heart, which is very romantic coded. The foreshadowing didn't vanish with the first books, and I truly wonder w h y. Does anyone have any interesting theories about them or speculation?

When I re-read an AMA from George, I was quite surprised by this response.

Has there been a character that you have given a reprieve to, or maybe deviated from the path you originally were going to send them on? If so, whom?

No, not really.

In some cases the chronologies have diverged from what I originally intended, but the overall character arcs remain the same.

This was years after the 1993 outline. And in 2016, he stated that he would continue with the endings he had in mind since 1991.

Also, this is from SSM:

Question: How different is the plot from what he originally envisioned?

GRRM: Not different - just more of it. It has grown in complexity but he likes it that way because it feels real to him. - SSM 2010

Some more quotes.

"But the size is different, and I've introduced some other elements to the books, but it's still the same characters, the '91 characters."

"Some major characters — yes, I always had plans, what Tyrion's arc was gonna be through this, what Arya's arc was gonna be through this, what Jon Snow's arc is gonna be. "

"Who is the most major character you've changed you mind about your plans for?

I don't want to reveal what I've planned for some of these characters, but I'm pretty well on track with most of the major characters. It's minor characters like Bronn that assume greater importance."

After a re-reading, I started to wonder… Why did they give up on being together if they did everything to be by each other's side? They are their true selves with each other, so why shouldn't they be together? Or share their lives together? I've seen some people claim that their relationship will never be the same. And yes, that's true. But isn't that applicable to any relationship in asoiaf? They are deliberately written as something too deep and an intense transcendental bond that no one else has; if they have no chance of thriving, no one does. And as much as George is accused of doing things for shock value, he cares about consistency. He definitely doesn't treat this relationship as trivial to be shattered. Jon is Arya's first priority. He is her home. They love each other unconditionally, and there’s no one Jon loves as much as he does Arya, no doubt on that. My impression is that George may have created an infrastructure for them to end up together somehow. Not necessarily in the way he initially envisioned it, but as soulmates who find refuge in each other and are saved by their unique bond that inspires them to live. Resurrected Jon will probably take the FitzChivalry Farseer route. I doubt he'll come back super damaged because he needs to be reasonably okay for some plot lines. And George always intended for all 5 main characters to survive so.

I would be more inclined to think that everything was scrapped if Jon's arc in ADWD was vastly different. George not only deepened their connection and recycled an old plot line, but also introduced powerful new themes. They are each other's hearts and homes. This approach is very rare in this universe. And no other relationship is treated with this same importance. Why should we pay so much attention to them? What is George's point in this? Like, a lot of time passed between 1993 and 2011. He had more than enough time to rewrite Jon's arc and remove Arya's influence. But he continues to keep these characters intensely and emotionally connected throughout all the books. If he accidentally wrote them as soulmates, wouldn't it be easier to remove it after the first book? I have some vague ideas of what he's going to do with them. But I genuinely don't think it's out of the question as so many fans confidently claim

sorry for taking so long to answer this anon! it was mostly because i agree with everything you said and couldn't think of what to add. i agree there seems to be consensus that george initially planned for them but changed his mind, probably after the first/second book. however, as you say, it then makes no sense that jon's adwd arc is the way it is. for me, it's the most explicitly romantic we get, with many of jon's thoughts (i want my bride back, imagining arya in ramsay's bed, winter's lady etc.) being things a brother cannot innocently think about his sister (despite what some people say and i worry about their relationship with their sibling tbh). if it was scrapped, i wonder how they explain adwd? (they mostly don't, explain it away as platonic, or pretend these thoughts are just about his 'family'). there's also the fact that george's affc outline (before affc and adwd were split) had jon going to and probably dying in hardhome, removing his rescue of arya and betrayal because of that entirely. george explicitly altered his adwd plot to include more arya. i frankly would be amazed at the ga's lack of awareness of the books they claim to love if j*nsas didn't exist

[anony0-0]

Ensemble Stars Characters and what Vision they would possess

(In my opinion).

I tried my best to read at least some of their lore to understand them better, although some of them I still couldn't decide it, as others i'm 100% sure about it and commented why down below.

Please feel free and DO comment any opinions you may have!!

If you want to know any reason behind any of them pls ask away~ I'll try my best to explain it 💜

Before starting on the reasoning, I want to make a quick explanation on Genshin Impact visions.

Anemo: People who desperately seeks for freedom.

Geo: People who are VERY dedicated and hard working about their duties and objectives.

Electro: People who are DEVOTED to something (be it a ideal or objective) or someone, their perspective practically never changing.

Dendro: People who seek knowledge.

Hydro: People who have a high sense of justice, wish to become heroes or would do anything to protect others.

Pyro: People who are deeply passionate about something.

Cryo: People who are going through internal conflicts.

Illusion: These are fake visions, you can get any vision you want illegally with the cost of rapidly aging, shortening your life span by a huge amount as you use it.

No vision: It is what it is. Just because someone may have some of the characteristics above, it doesn't necessarily mean all of them gets one. The reason people get vision still not completely clear, it may be that gods are watching on the vision bearers for whatever reason, potential beings that could ascend to godhood, and many other theories.

"Why this character is this and not that?" Personality characteristics, some coincidences that vision bearers posses, as example: most Pyro bearers are very hyperactive, most geo characters are calm, some hydros tend to look down on themselves, most cryos feel like they don't belong anywhere/where they are.

This was just a brief explanation, but I tried my best to get through everything so reasons be easier to understand.

Ok some of the ones I'm 100% sure are:

Kohaku oukawa - Anemo: Spent his whole life trapped in his own room by his family, being the worst moments of his live. Once he finally got out to see the outside world, he would never want to go back to being trapped again (A good proof is when he scolds Rinne for trapping him in the dressing room of Knights).

Hiiro Amagi - Dendro: He's always wanting to learn about everything: what's an idol, common sense and things about the city, trivial things, what's considered right or wrong. Anyway, hiiro amagi learning moments.

Adonis Otogari - Hydro: Everytime you see Adonis, theres a 100% chance he will say they want meat or give you meat, or that his wish is to protect the weak and his friends.

Madara Mikejima - Hydro: This one i also barely have anything to explain. The sense of justice, back when they wanted to be a hero with ryusetai, overprotective of his friends. They are the full hydro bearer bag.

Kanata Shinkai - Hydro: No. It's not because they puka puka. I actually tried to find any other vision that it could be fit for them, but any path I took just ended up in Hydro, the only reason i could find is the wish to protect the ones he loves the most. To be honest, we all just want him to be Hydro related cause water, so instead of having a hydro vision, i would say he's the hydro dragon (elemental dragons have no need for visions, they have complete control of the element and are more powerful than gods).

Niki Shiina - Pyro: This is one of the most obvious ones and I'm not accepting any other opinions. His passion is food and cooking, do I need to say more?

Rinne Amagi - Pyro: Same thing as Niki, His passion for idols and living in his own life style.

Subaru akehoshi - Pyro: The passion for stars/shining things, also his personality come strong on this one. As pyro characters, they are hyperactive, cheerful and though things sometimes gets them sad, they try their best to not show it or let it get to them ("that akehoshi" situation).

Aira Shiratori - Cryo: Despite his love for idols and achieving his dream of becoming one, the inferiority complex is strong on him, feeling like he's not good enough and that he is always falling behind even in the things he loves the most.

Discussion

Ritsu - illusion: I wasn't sure which vision to give Ritsu, mostly because I didn't find anything about him that looks like a strong ambition worth a vision, but I know he would definitely want one just because his brother has it.

Himeru - Illusion: I think this is the best for him because of his "condition". Himeru would have a illusion based on Kaname's, as I believe he would have one. Particularly, even as a HimeruP, I don't think Himeru would have any vision, I don't feel like their ambitions are strong enough to get one, but if I had to pick any, I guess Cryo may fit him better.

Eichi - This one is mostly lore related because as I explained, illusion beholders age more as they use the illusion, so I decided to give eichi an illusion because of his illness, but I think Electro could also be an option for him.

"Why is Madara Hydro and Chiaki Pyro?" because of their personalities. If you know Genshin, Madara gives me a hydro-Childe vibes, the "villain" but he's actually a good person deep inside (yes I used to be a childe main), also the feeling of not being good enough for others, that they can not be loved by anyone ever. As for Chiaki, Pyro characters rarely gets down on whatever sad outcomes that may happen, although it does happen to Chiaki, he stands up again and keeps on being the hero everyone needs.

"I think Rei should be Anemo" This is my friends opinion, their reason being that the thing Rei wanted the most is "to be freed from it's adult responsibilities and just live a happy life he was supposed to have since he was a child" although it is something that is indeed true that he said, in !!Era I mostly see Rei taking responsibilities of his own accord instead of being obliged to do something or everything will fall apart. "I don't understand" this is when personalities shows up again, weirdly, most geo characters didn't want a geo vision, find it useless or are unpleasant they got a geo one, even so, they make it useful somehow. So in my opinion, even if his wish is to be free, they are more bound by the duty and being able to help others then living his own life.

I guess that's it for now, i guess some of them are still not clear but im open to discussion, (except for niki, they are literally xiangling on enstars)

Thank you for reading~ 💜

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

I actually really hate the concept of turning/comparing death eaters and just the messed up tangled mess that is pure blood families/culture into nazis for several reasons. One because I feel like that is a cop out. But two and this is really really big, wizards and witches (especially when you add in half bloods and muggleborns) are really really complicated and their reasons for doing things are complicated. Especially when you take in muggles, and what muggles did to witches and wizards in the medieval times and salem witches trials. Add that with hogwarts and houses. That is why I see it less as that, and more so this is a culture that not only screams very old traditional community but also screams really old religious community. This is why I see it as a cult. This is a cult. A half blood(Tom) saw these old families with lots of money and connections and saw power. So yes it is a cult. A very religious, very traditional obessed and very complicated cult. With kids growing up with this stuff as propaganda and religion. Which why I feel bad for kids that find it very hard to escape this cult. Especially slytherin kids!

This is yet another reason why these kinds of simplistic comparisons are not only inaccurate but are actually outright dangerous. We must always remember that this is fiction, and that comparisons to real world events should always be made thoughtfully if they should be made at all. In situations where real people have suffered and died, the goal should not be mere karma points or notes on a post but rather should further the internet and understanding of a complex narrative. I do agree that the situation with the pure blood families and Voldemort- the situation with the death eaters, is more akin to a cult than nazi facism. It’s also worth noting that many cults have had racist ideologies without being nazis. Most of the time this comparison is made it is made in bad faith with the goal of making anyone who disagrees with the person out to be a nazi sympathizer if they like said character or theme. It’s very disgusting and a trivializing insult to those who actually suffered through that period of history. I am myself a cult survivor and I can recognize patters of this type of abuse and hive mind mentality that often occurs in groups like this.

[sommerflue-22]

Little Things They Do... (Pt. 2)

Little things they do to show you they love you

Read the other parts: Part 1 // Part 3

Featuring: Hange Zoe, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Onyankopon, Yelena, Nicolo

Warning: Modern setting, gn!Hange

Word Count: 650

Author Note

Hi, this is another version of "Little Things They Do"! I've linked the first part above for you to read. Here is the song I listened to while writing this. These actions can be perceived platonically or romantically, whatever suits you. Let me know if you want me to write for other characters as well!

Hange

Not everyone can appreciate Hange the way they are, so enthusiastic in certain subjects to the point where they can explain stuff that can't be found in Wikipedia. Having you around them, someone who appreciates them and supports them in whatever they do, is something that Hange never takes for granted. Whenever you both are having a conversation, Hange likes to drop a few 'fun facts' or trivial knowledges they've attained in their free time. They make it sound amusing as well, like that one line from a Philomena Cunk episode "The Egyptians believed that the most important thing you could do in your life was die."

Erwin

Erwin most likely pays close attention to small details such as how your necktie is crooked, or a tiny splatter of ketchup in your cheek after you ate your food. He will fix it for you every time. Expect him to stop you from rushing somewhere when you're already late, just for him to fix your hair a little bit. Also the constant reminder for you to tie your shoes because somehow they're always undone. He's just afraid that you'll trip over your own feet. It's not like you're that clumsy and untidy, he just cares about you a lot.

Levi

Levi is the cleanest and tidiest person you've ever met in your entire life, but he just lets you do things that usually irks him out. Whenever you come over to his place, he'll let you leave your dirty plate or cup in the sink. He'll wash it for you. He let you touch his TV remote even though your fingers are greasy from your snack. He'll wipe it later. He let you work/do your assignments in his living room, your papers and miscellaneous stuff scattered around the place. He'll help you pick them up later. It's his way to repay your kindness because amongst his closest circle, you deal with his sad and gloomy side the most.

Onyankopon

Onyankopon will happily help you take aesthetic pictures for your social media, anytime, anywhere, even if it's really crowded. He'll go crouching down, tilting his body, all out to get the best pictures. He knows how to change the setting, the ISO and all, of both digital cameras and smartphones. He will tell you where to stand and which way to face, working with the light to complement your figure. He takes it seriously. It's rare to find someone who is willing to take pictures for you, let alone one who is really good at it.

Yelena

Most of the time Yelena is calm and composed, which is why she kind of insisted in speaking on your behalf. No matter if you both are in a restaurant, in a bar, or at the dentist, she will speak for you. She just noticed a long time ago how you often have a hard time explaining things, something that is really easy for her to do. At first she said it's because you take too long when ordering food, or your voice was shaking as you talk to strangers it bothers her. However, as the time goes by, you realize it's her way to take care of you. You don't have to worry when you're out with Yelena, she will handle everything.

Nicolo

You and Nicolo eat together, like, almost in every chance you both get. Be it a fancy dinner, or snacking together while watching a movie at home, you both love to share your food. For some reason, whenever you have to open a packaging, Nicolo will grab it and open it for you. Once he teared the packaging open, he'll give it back to you. Nicolo is also a big "do you wanna try my food" guy. He will cut half of his steak and move it to your plate. He will break a KitKat in two and share a half of it with you.

I've never written anything about Onyankopon, Yelena, and Nicolo but apparently it was fun. I think I have a crush on Yelena now idk. I hope you like it as well! Lemme know what you think :3

[theworldvsyoshiko]

And two bits of analysis on how things with Harriet played out:

1) The format

Children Only Ideology is fun, at least if you allow up to 18 years old. (Cutting off earlier than that will kill your research fast.) One thing I hadn't thought about, though: Combat Extended largely gets rid of Rimworld's default behavior, where enemies have a chance to die when they're incapacitated, scaling based on your colony size. Which is to say, the bigger your colony is, the more likely enemies are to instantly die once they're downed, to stop you from growing forever by recruiting enemies.

In CE, enemies die, you know. Based on their injuries. Which is more realistic and overall less infuriating, but if you're playing any kind of 'I have to take in everybody under 18' arrangement it, uh. Causes you to end up with 14 people in your colony. Frankly I kinda cheated once or twice later on by not trying very hard to save enemy teenagers, or else it might've hit 20. That's a number I find pretty unwieldy, and it's way too many for talking about on a blog.

Even without that, though, it was getting into some of the stuff I struggled with on Yoshiko. Taking in every kid you get and banishing them once they're old means that you'll have an ever-rotating cast. I think it's more fun when there's a relatively small and stable group of core characters, though. The focus on individual characters is part of why I usually find Rimworld more fun to talk about than Dwarf Fortress, and having tons of people dilutes that.

There's really no perfect balance. If recruitment is entirely open, you're free to optimize to having a big group of hyper-competent colonists who trivialize most things. If recruitment is restricted too much, you'll struggle to keep up with raid sizes unless you really min/max for it. If there's forced recruitment, you can end up with half a dozen people who mill about the colony all day, not doing much. I think the happiest I've been with it was on Karina, where she could get as many colonists as she wanted to, but each one had to be raised from birth.

2) Combat Extended

I experimented with CE a bit before committing to this run, but this was still my big learning experience with it. Overall, I was a lot happier with it than I expected going in. It doesn't complicate things that much, it's compatible with a lot more mods than you'd expect, and it really does improve on vanilla Rimworld combat a lot.

Which, as I alluded to in my previous post, is partially a problem for this kind of format. Being able to build a fortress and then relax in safety is more realistic and rewarding, but it doesn't always make for compelling storytelling.

Pros:

Like I just said, no random death-on-downed. You won't suddenly start killing every raider with moderate bruises just because you already have several colonists.

You can usually safely assume that e.g. a grown adult with a club can win a fight against an angry turtle. This is far from a guarantee in vanilla Rimworld.

Similarly, an experienced combat veteran in armor with a good weapon can take down an entire horde of unskilled yokels in t-shirts with rusty daggers. They aren't invincible, but they have an edge that makes them really satisfying to use, and terrifying to go up against if you're on the other side of that equation.

A wider variety of guns is useful, rather than gravitating toward 2-3 guns for everything. Sniper rifles are actually a solid way to pick off enemies at long range, and an experienced sniper can reliably get headshots with them. SMGs and machine pistols are good DPS at close range. If a pack of enemies rushes straight at you, firing a machine gun at them will usually get them to stop.

Mortars are actually useful. Vanilla mortars are so inaccurate that the standard strategy for them is to have several saturating the area, because they're bound to hit something eventually. CE lets you have spotters that make them pretty accurate, and gives you a solid counter to stationary enemies.

A lot of the arbitrariness in vanilla combat is gone. Somebody crouching behind an armored barricade is not going to get shot in the chest. Semi-auto guns won't miss 80% of their shots based on pure luck. A parka is not going to shrug off a direct hit from a bullet.

Enemy spawning rules are heavily reworked, so that enemies are more likely to show up in suitable armor for your tech level, and much less likely to do things like bring rocket launchers to a close-quarters indoor raid. I generally found fights to feel more interesting but more fair.

Cons:

Despite the wide range of compatibilities, it isn't compatible with everything. In particular, the Big & Small gene for dwarves didn't seem to get along with CE's new encumbrance system, so Gransier was always heavily encumbered.

There's so much clutter. There are approximately two billion guns, a lot of which are just different RL variations of assault rifle, and they're chambered in about a dozen different types of ammo. Each of which come in multiple flavors. You can consolidate a lot of this in the settings, which I absolutely will if I play with it again.

A colony can be so well-defended that the game stops being much of a challenge, at least on the sorts of difficulty I usually play at. I could potentially turn the difficulty up, of course, and this was an extreme case.

You can't just pick any gun up off the ground and use them - you need ammo. This is generally pretty easy. For most guns, it's like 12 steel to make 500 bullets. That said, this stuff does require an established industrial base, and it requires a solid chunk of research to unlock. It makes it much harder to build up early combat ability on solo starts. With something like Umeko's setup, it would have made it nearly impossible to use guns. So, this isn't generally a problem, but it's a limitation for weirder playstyles. Although again, this can be disabled in the settings.

Overall? Playing for my own fun, in something vaguely like a normal setup, without incompatible mods, I'd probably use CE again. (I hate to say it, because CE evangelists are kinda insufferable at times, but it turns out they're right about some things.) If I do another one of these, I'm not sure if I'll use it again or not. It probably depends on the format.