#hes so optimistic for everyone except himself

[hisui-dreamer]

a world without you

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader

Synopsis: When Leona hears the Shroud brothers' plan, he thinks back to his herbivore, and how their existence has changed so much for him.

Tags: spoilers up to Ch 6!!!, established relationship, angst but fluff, drama, bot proofread

Word count: 878

Notes: this can be read as my view of leona's character, so please accept my leona brainrot <3 just some thoughts I had when I read ch 6. also leona might be a little ooc but it's his internal thoughts so I like to think he's more emotional :3

"It needs to reset before we can start a new game."

Shocked expressions were exchanged across the room as the implications of the younger Shroud's plan slowly settled on everyone's mind.

Leona couldn't help but think that, if the opportunity had been given to him a year ago, he'd likely have accepted whatever the robot kid was going for.

Leona always felt that he had been cheated in life. Ever since he was young, he was constantly compared to his older brother, who was seen as the epitome of success in their family, the perfect heir to the throne. Everyone would constantly praise his brother's achievements while dismissing his own accomplishments as trivial. It didn't matter that he was working hard to prove himself, that he could wield such powerful magic as a child.

He often wondered why he had to be born, if he was only meant to stay in another person's shadow to make them seem brighter in contrast.

No matter how hard he studied, how mature he acted, or how strong his magic was, it was all pointless. The ghostly whispers of the palace staff continued, and the judging remarks from the council intensified.

He was born as the second prince.

And he was destined to forever be just that—second.

When it finally clicked for him, he stopped trying. Why make an effort in anything, when time and time again, he had given his all only to end up with nothing? They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. Despite what others might say, Leona was incredibly brilliant, with a sharp mind fit to be a wise ruler. He knew, without a doubt, that it was pointless to continue down the road of insanity.

Instead, he continued down the path of sloth, eventually finding everything, the entire world, pointless. He found himself skipping classes and taking naps whenever he could, hiding away from the world where he would never be able to stand under the sun, but at least comforted by the serene embrace of his dreams.

He had wanted to turn the world to sand and start over.

It had been a wild thought, but here the Shrouds were, proposing an entire reset of the world.

Leona's mind raced as he contemplated the consequences of such an ordeal. Indeed, he had always dreamed of a world where everyone had an equal chance to succeed, where people were not judged based on their social status, birth order, or magical ability. A world where he was no longer burdened by the expectations of his family, where he was free to be who he truly was, a world where everyone was given a fair chance to succeed, and where no one was left behind.

And yet, without realising it, the thought of starting over in a new world had left his mind ever since you came into his life. You were everything he had ever wished for but never deserved in a partner—kind, caring, and endlessly supportive, always by his side despite his crude demeanour and harsh words. You showed him that there was meaning to living, opening his eyes to the people around him. He had friends who cared about him, incredible talent that could bring great changes, and most importantly, you, his dearest herbivore who shone like a beacon in the shadowed depths of his heart.

For the first time in his life, he felt truly content with what he had, despite all the flaws and problems that persisted.

He had never cared about resetting the world and losing everything he had to start anew. But it was a different story now.

What would happen to the people he cared about in this new world? What if he never met you? What if everything he had ever known and loved was erased? And what of the memories that he made at NRC with you, with Savanaclaw, and everyone else?

Leona's thoughts drifted to his memories of you, your fierce eyes staring directly into his, determined to befriend him; the quiet evenings you had spent together under the starry sky sharing stories and enjoying each other's company; the way you would instinctively lean into him for comfort; the dazzling smile that graced your face when you spotted him in a crowd.

He made up his mind then.

He didn't want, no, he wouldn't risk losing you. Your presence had given him the joy he had never experienced, the hope for a better day tomorrow, and he wouldn't give that up for anything. He would continue to work towards a fairer world, but he would do so without resetting everything that he had come to cherish.

He had learned to appreciate the people in his life. He had found happiness, despite the unfairness of the world. He knew that he had found something precious in this unfair world—someone who cherished him wholeheartedly for whatever he may be.

No, he doesn't want to reset the world.

"I'll grant you one thing. The world totally sucks as it is. But I don't think your new one would be any more to my taste. So I'm going to stick with this one. It's less of a pain."

[islandofsages]

hey, I could ask the royal boys (Leona, Kalim and Malleus) with the male reader who is already the king of his country, like the boys thought he was a prince like them, but then on any given day he lets out a complaint how difficult it is to govern the kingdom and study for exams at the same time, sometimes he just wanted to be the prince and not the king.

characters: leona, kalim and malleus x king!male reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format

warnings: a little bit of negativity towards reader in leona's part, a bit of swearing in kalim's

author's notes: loving all the male reader requests rn. i think i strayed a bit from the prompt but i hope you like it anyway <3

Leona Kingscholar

Though being a prince himself, he’s not as “diplomatic” with the other princes at that school - except for you probably. No don’t ask him what happened, he’s ready to accept it as it is

At least because of your (assumed) status, he finds it easier to communicate with you; at least you’re not one of the top five most powerful mages in the world or the most optimistic person in Twisted Wonderland

Hangouts with him still consist more of silent chilling though; both of you just need to get away from it all for a while

He doesn’t question the days that you’re gone - sometimes people just end up needing you to do this and that. He tries not to dwell on it too much, lest his inferiority complex gets the best of him

Until one day, you come back after one day of absence, which is normal enough until-

“*sigh* I swear, being king is less appealing as my retainers make it sound, especially since I also have to go to school all the while.”

I’m sorry, being what now?

He knew you were royalty, that much he got from everyone whispering about you back when you enrolled and since you made little mention of your background, he just assumed you were a prince like him

You let out a tired chuckle then and comment on how you forgot that you never told him you’re an actual king of a nation

He has mixed feelings over this - he thought he finally met someone a little bit like him, yet you’re just another one of them and you never bothered telling him who you are?

But don’t worry, he gets over his feelings of betrayal after a while; it’s not like the reveal changed who you are as a person. You’re still the same guy who he’s been hanging out with and he knows his brain is trying to defend itself

You apologize for not telling him sooner and despite your complaints, you try not to sound ungrateful, especially considering his issues

At some point, even Leona himself starts to forget about that fact

It doesn’t matter if you carry a whole nation on your shoulders because - and he will never say this out loud - he knows you’re capable and if you start to crumble, he’ll be there for you.

Kalim Al-Asim

Though he’s not one to really care about someone’s social status, he’s happy to have more royal friends

Doesn’t stop him from spoiling you. Haven’t you heard? Any friends of Kalim are also friends of his many, many fortunes

He invites you over to Scarabia for parties every so often and either you are surrounded by people or everyone leaves you alone out of intimidation

But hey, if the latter happens, Kalim is more than happy to help you make some friends (unless you’re uncomfortable with it of course but he’ll still try to help)

One time, at one of his many parties, you two were simply laughing over something and it reminded you of something-

“That makes me think of the time this creature took a shit on my throne back at home - it took a few days for the stench to fade!”

Oh, of course, your throne! Everyone totally has a literal throne back home! Until Kalim realizes that is, in fact, untrue

As if he wasn’t already excited at the prospect of a new friend, he gets more excited at the fact that you have your own throne and is, he concludes, a monarch

You brush him off, light pink decorating your cheeks, saying that it’s not really that special - and you mean it

You tell him of the experience and you couldn’t help slip in a few complaints; it isn’t easy to juggle both school and royal responsibilities at the same time

He only listens in and tries his best to understand; he is no king, and though he is a housewarden and a prince, your struggles differ from his by a long mile

From that day on, he makes sure to check in on you and if you’re feeling less than, he’ll drop everything and do anything to relieve you of your stress

When he drops by your nation and your palace, he brings in a whole parade. It’s so Kalim that you can only laugh

You knew that story about a creature shitting on your throne was gonna be a good story at parties.

Malleus Draconia

Your presence is an absolute delight to him; it didn’t occur to him to ask what kind of royalty you are but it didn’t matter either way

He finds himself more comfortable talking about his heritage around you, knowing that you can somewhat relate to being of nobility

If you’re not part of his club, sometimes you tag along on his gargoyle crusades for the hell of it - seeing him so passionate about something brings a smile to your face

On one of your many escapades, he points out a gargoyle and begins to ramble about its features

Hearing it suddenly makes you remember-

“Ah gosh, I just remembered I should be back home right now, some of my people will be coming over to construct some gargoyles around my castle.”

He doesn’t question it at first but then the phrase “my people” registered in his mind. Wait, what do you mean your people?

You start to apologize for not telling him and also the fact that you have to leave that very moment

After you came back after the whole ordeal, you sit him down somewhere and tell him about your position

As mentioned, it doesn’t matter to him what responsibilities you have, as long as you can be his friend

You breathe out a sigh of relief and invite him to continue where you two left off last time

Nothing changes much between you two, except for the fact that you share more of your kingly experiences

He definitely drops by your place at least once - he could never miss out a chance on seeing some new gargoyles

And as he looks on at those beautiful waterspouts, you can’t help but be grateful that they can serve as a source of happiness for someone too.

[enigmaedid]

Sonic and Shadow’s dynamic is one of the most absurdly compelling things in the universe, but trying to piece together how they ended up together? It’s like trying to make sense of a puzzle where half the pieces are missing, and the other half shouldn’t even be in the box.

Sonic, the embodiment of joy, freedom, and unshakable optimism, has spent his entire life running toward the next person to help. He’s the hero who sacrifices his own well-being to make sure everyone else is okay, even if it means going head-to-head with the most dangerous forces in the world. That’s his thing—helping others, making them smile, and giving them a sense of hope. But here’s the twist: as much as he wants to be the happy-go-lucky guy everyone sees, there’s this dark undercurrent to him, this subtle tension between his desire to save and his need to keep people at arm’s length. Maybe it’s because he knows just how far he’s willing to go for the ones he loves, or maybe it’s because no one’s ever really looked past that surface-level heroism to see the weight he carries.

Then there’s Shadow. Shadow is pure contradiction—born from hatred, bitterness, and a deep sense of wronged pride. His entire existence was forged in the fire of suffering, revenge, and manipulation, and for a long time, that’s all he knew. He hurt people. He tore through the world just to sustain his own sense of purpose and to feel something, anything. When he wasn’t using his anger as a shield, he was using it as a weapon, but deep down, the emptiness was there. It’s always there, because it’s all he's ever known. He doesn’t trust anyone—not even himself—but somewhere along the way, he started pretending like he didn’t care. Like nobody mattered. Except maybe, just maybe, a certain blue hedgehog who wouldn’t leave him alone.

Their first encounter is nothing short of explosive. Sonic, ever the optimist, sees someone with a chip on his shoulder the size of a mountain and thinks, “Oh, this guy’s a challenge.” He doesn’t know why, but he just has to reach out to Shadow. Maybe it’s the hidden pain he can sense or maybe it’s just Sonic’s nature to see someone struggling and want to help them—but Shadow? Shadow doesn’t need help. Or so he thinks. What starts as one of their usual high-speed chases quickly turns into a twisted game of cat-and-mouse. Sonic’s persistence irritates Shadow to no end, but after a while, there’s this weird, unspoken thing between them. Sonic doesn’t give up, and Shadow? Well, Shadow's just too damn intrigued.

And before they know it—despite themselves—they’re tangled up in each other’s lives. Sonic wants to fix Shadow. He wants to show him there’s more to life than pain, revenge, and isolation. Shadow wants to break Sonic—wants to prove that no one can truly care for someone like him. They’re so opposite, so fundamentally wrong for each other, yet there’s a magnetic pull that neither of them can deny. They don’t fit. They shouldn’t fit. And yet… somehow, they do.

They start dating, and it’s utterly ridiculous. Sonic is all heart, wearing his emotions on his sleeve (even if he doesn’t always want to), while Shadow is trying to act aloof, like he’s above it all. But the walls start to crack. Sonic’s relentless positivity somehow makes Shadow drop his guard just a little, and Shadow’s complexity—his pain, his past—gives Sonic something to fight for. They clash. They argue. They’re insufferable at times. But there’s a strange comfort in it. Sonic gives Shadow the space to be vulnerable, and Shadow forces Sonic to confront the parts of himself he’s been hiding.

Nobody understands why they’re together. Not even them, probably. It's like watching a romantic comedy where the two leads are so mismatched, you can’t even imagine how they got together—but there they are. It’s dysfunctional. It’s complicated. It’s pure chaos. But somehow, that’s what makes it work. Because when you strip it down, it’s two broken souls trying to find a way to fit into each other’s worlds. It’s a love story where the line between hatred and affection is paper-thin, and neither Sonic nor Shadow quite knows when they crossed it.

It’s messed up, it’s confusing, and it’s a damn trainwreck—but that’s exactly why it’s so perfect.

[trashogram]

It’s so hard for me to articulate but one of the worst crimes that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel commit is a lack of gravitas, in my opinion.

Characters aren’t very “solid” as individuals. It’s hard to differentiate them beyond labels. For instance, Stolas is a demon prince but he can go to a party for lower class hellborns and just join in. No one shows any fear or awe in his presence despite the fact that he supposedly has a lot of power over them.

Charlie as well, is disrespected and treated like any other Sinner — which you could try to justify by her being unusually optimistic and happy, but the mistreatment or lack of dignity beyond other citizens of Hell isn’t really connected to her royal status at all. No one badmouths her for being a princess who isn’t evil or something like that.

Lucifer! The Devil himself, may be a goofball/highly anxious and depressed mess, but Alastor has no issue riling him up and showing him disdain, as if there are no consequences if he doesn’t defer to the King of Hell. Which doesn’t make sense.

And these issues weaken the world around them. We are told that there’s a hierarchy in Hell, but if everyone is treated the same way, even if that treatment is terrible across the board, then the hierarchy doesn’t mean anything and shouldn’t exist. It also makes the characters blend together (and that’s not restricted only to royal labels. I’m also referring to sexualities, personalities, backstories full of trauma). Appearance-wise, they all move similarly, they all curse a good amount, they all make sex jokes and are prone to violence.

Sure there are some exceptions but the majority check all those boxes. There’s a lack of differentiation here as a whole. But I dont know if I’m one of the only people that care and find this disappointing.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Because Edge has such a great personality, I would love to know his opinion on the other skeletons. Are they worthy of his attention or not?

Let's have a tour of what Edge thinks of all his fellow skeletons.

Undertale Sans - Clearly a pale copy of his brother, but without anything to look scary. What is even the point of his existence? He would be long dead in his world. He swears the guy is hiding something though. He always feels uncomfortable when he's staring at him for too long.

Undertale Papyrus - He thought he was a pale copy of himself until his Undyne challenged him to fight with Lesser Papyrus and Edge got his butt kicked so hard he ended in shock. WTF. He has no LV and he swears he was still holding back to not hurt him. How strong is that guy??? Edge doesn't like him.

Underswap Sans - Unsufferable little shit that thinks is more clever than everyone because he's super fast. How the hell is he a royal guard? One of these days, he will show him he's not that clever when fighting a real royal guard. And he's not saying that because that little shit arrested him one day for driving too fast without a license. Not at all.

Underswap Papyrus - A decent one. Edge loves to hang out with him, especially in front of Blue to make him mad. Honey is a good cook, and he's not impressed by his edgy face. He doesn't consider him a friend; he has no friends. But if he had friends, they would be Honey-shaped.

Underfell Sans - What? You expect him to say he loves his brother or something? Get out of here, that's none of your business!

Horrortale Sans - He can respect that guy. When Edge bullied him, he for sure never expected to almost be beheaded by the largest axe he had ever seen. He stays out of his path now. That guy knows how to fight, even though he's not showing it.

Horrortale Papyrus - Fuck that guy. He came to find him after he bullied his brother and lectured him for two hours like a child. Does he look like a child? Anyway, when Edge tried to escape, he grabbed him by the arm with his gigantic hand and Edge realized that maybe it would be best to listen to him after all.

Horrorswap Sans - Looks too similar to his younger version but gets really mad when accidentally called Blue. Edge did the mistake once and got surprise by how fast that guy is despite having only one leg. That's a horror movie cryptid.

Horrorswap Papyrus - He doesn't like him or anything, but can't help but feel protective around him. I mean, look at him. He's like a lost puppy or something. The big bad world is going to eat him alive one of these days.

Horrorfell Sans - He's glad he could take his brother out of hell before this. Edge actually respects Copper a lot for surviving through the famine despite being as weak as Red. Edge tries to help him and his brother when he can.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He has a hard time thinking he could have been in that situation, but he admires Chief for not giving up. He's not sure he would have been strong enough to stay as optimistic despite the pain. Chief is a little bit like his model, and Edge likes to hang out with him when he has some time.

Swapfell Sans - Finally a good training partner that is both challenging and competitive. Edge has a lot of fun training with Nox (who is definitely not his best friend at all). However, he can see Nox is very haunted by his role in the Royal Guard. Edge saw that look in old soldiers he trained, who are here only because it's paying well. Except Nox is not old at all. He's worried he might make a big mistake one of these days and is in negotiation with his Asgore to sort of hire him in his guard, so he can take his distances with his Toriel. He can tell his Toriel is not a good person.

Swapfell Papyrus - He's so similar to his brother that it hurts. Lazy, loud, pranking people all day. It's not even a surprise Red spends all his days with him. Ok, maybe one or two of his pranks amused him at some point, and maybe that guy is somehow charming enough for everyone to eat in his hands, but that's definitely not Edge's case (yes. yes it is).

Fellswap Gold Sans - He sees himself a lot in Wine, maybe with a little (LOT, A LOT) of manipulation. He's not sure Wine sees him as a friend, but Edge is definitely going to him when he needs advice. He's a bit the father figure he never had even though he looks like his brother and it's really weird. But at least he is always (brutally) honest with him and Edge needs that sometimes.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He can tell Coffee is following him everywhere like he's some sort of role model. That made Edge uncomfortable at first, but now he's worried when Coffee is not there to follow him around, asking a hundred questions. He is used to that.

Outertale Sans & Papyrus - He doesn't know them. But they look like pale copies of his brother and him. Except these ones fly for some reason. How though? Skeletons don't have wings???

Dancetale Sans & Papyrus - How many of these pacifist guys are there out there? Why the hell these ones are dancing???

Dancefell Sans - Uh... He didn't think there could be a weaker version of his brother honestly but here is Rumba he guesses. He got confused that one time he asked him to show his fight move and the guy started dancing??? How the hell did he survive so long???

Dancefell Papyrus - What the hell is that. That guy looks like him but he acts like Mettaton somehow. Edge is very disturbed and doesn't like him.

Farmtale Sans & Papyrus - They are decent. He expected yet another version of those pacifist weaklings, but somehow Sam is a lot more interesting than the others, not scared to talk back to him or fight him when he gets too insulting. Edge can respect that. Ben reminds him of himself when he was younger, full of hope and very shy. He's worried he might get crushed by the world at some point.

Mafiatale Sans - Annoying as hell. Literally exploded his wall once because he insulted his brother. Edge is holding back everytime he sees his stupid face, he wants to fight that guy so bad.

Mafiatale Papyrus - Creeper is scary. He only feared Asgore before, but that guy is even scarier. He doesn't say anything. He keeps staring at him. Menacingly. Edge doesn't like him.

Mafiafell Sans - He wishes his brother was similar to him, a little more active. Too bad Fang hates him because of what happened with Torpedo. Edge wanted to know him more before it happened.

Mafiafell Papyrus - Torpedo is the version of him he for sure doesn't want to become. Insulting, condescending, thinking he knows everything and clearly has too much power. The first thing Torpedo did was to laugh at him, saying he looks like a clown in his royal guard armor, in front of all his friends. So yeah, Edge got mad and attacked him. Maybe he underestimated the crazy amount of LV this guy has. You can only reach that by killing for fun, Edge saw that LV in the monsters he executed for Asgore. He doesn't like him, he knows Torpedo is a ticking bomb that will cause at some point a lot of damage because, with so much LV, it's impossible to stay in control for long. Edge hates him and hopes he will never turn like that.

Ink - ???????? His brain can't understand what that Ink guy is. He prefers to say out of his way.

Error - He can tell he's dangerous, but he's not sure why. He's uncomfortable around him and doesn't want to know more about him.

Disbelief Papyrus - Despite clearly being a clone of the pacifist guy, he can tell this one went through a lot and is a lot more similar to him than he would like. That Papyrus lost a lot of things and sacrificed his life so his universe could survive. Edge respects him a lot and tries to show him he's there if he wants to talk, even though he's not the best at that.

Killer Sans - Even though his brother likes him a lot, Edge prefers to keep a safe distant. He saw that guy LV, it's way too high for someone who pretends so well to be a jokester. Edge is not fooled by his little game. That Sans is dangerous.

Dustale Sans - He acts like Doomfanger??? He fights with Doomfanger??? Is that skeleton a skeleton or a mutant cat? He's not sure.

[annoyinglandmagazine]

It’s kind of interesting to me that Bill, Barry and Klaus seemed to all undergo a dramatic change from being fairly lighthearted adventurers having the time of their lives and helping people to terrifyingly controlled killing machines over the same space of time even if it’s through different circumstances.

Klaus definitely seems to think that the Heterodyne Boys would never approve of what he’s doing and that they’d find another way if they were there. And they probably wouldn’t be immediately on board but I think what Klaus is forgetting is that Bill and Barry changed too.

He seems so shocked that Barry didn’t trust him enough to come to him and the thing is, while Barry was probably shown some fairly compelling evidence, the chances are that after everything he went through and the revelation that Lucrezia betrayed them he was in a headspace where he could be made to doubt anybody.

Now who does that sound like? Someone becoming paranoid as fuck of everyone around them due to general trauma plus trust issues caused by Lucrezia and the world in general that they thought they’d helped only for it to then turn back to tearing itself apart as soon as they’re gone.

The paranoia heightened exponentially by the need to protect the child that is the only good left in their life while being convinced (not entirely incorrectly) that everyone is out to take them from them and maybe they could afford to go about things differently if it was only their life at stake but they aren’t taking any risks with the child’s.

Klaus is so certain that he’s compromising on morals because someone has to and that because Bill and Barry were perfect heroes who’d never hurt anybody they didn’t absolutely have to if they were around they’d insist on a more gentle approach but this wasn’t Klaus’ approach the last time he saw them.

Klaus himself changed no matter how much he seems to have rationalised that this was always ‘his way’ but he seems unable to understand, based on his reaction to Adam and Lilith, that his friends aren’t the same people he left behind either, they’re mistrusting, they jump straight to conflict and they will do absolutely anything to protect Agatha the same way he’d do absolutely anything to protect Gil.

(I don’t think Adam and Lilith were in the wrong in any way, they were just operating on extremely incorrect crucial information and acting accordingly, exactly like Klaus is for the entirety comic! There is a very important parallel to be had there!)

I’m not entirely sure that Bill and Barry wouldn’t do the kind of things Klaus does if it was for Agatha’s safety (*cough* locket/overlay parallel *cough*) but to Klaus believing that would actually be worse.

He knows he’s effective but he doesn’t think he’s a good person and it would disrupt something very fundamental for him if he couldn’t say definitively that Bill and Barry were completely good in all the ways he isn’t.

To him Bill and Barry are the same optimistic young men he knew before everything went south who’d always look for a solution to spare as many lives as possible just like he can’t afford to, who’d obviously come to him if they were there because they look for the best in people just like he doesn’t know how to anymore.

And when Barry heard that Klaus was back I bet that he needed to believe that Klaus at least had stayed the same. Except he didn’t and Barry didn’t, none of them did.

[guccixstyless]

Idk if you are taking requests right now but if you do or if you have time could you do a freshly in love Shi Oh, like he has developed feelings for the Reader since X situation after starting to work for him or something like that.

But he is barely aware of it because he has never felt this way before, but it feels nice. At the same time he is so so obvious that has everyone trying to figure out what is going on with their boss (Reader included).

Unfamiliar Feelings

Pairing: Ryu Shio x Reader

Word Count: 1481 words.

AN: Sorry for the long wait, I hope you enjoy this one shot! xx

***********************************************************************

Ryu Shio was a man of few words, and those he spoke were usually laced with venom. His reputation preceded him; his anger was infamous, and his grumpiness a byword amongst his employees. His office was a fortress of solitude, where even the bravest of souls trembled at the mere thought of crossing its threshold.

Yet, amidst the chaos and fear, there was an unsuspecting intern who dared to tread where others feared to go. Y/N had just started her internship at Dogoo two weeks ago, with a heart full of dreams and a determination to prove herself. She navigated the corridors with caution, avoiding the gaze of her intimidating boss whenever possible.

Ryu Shio could care less about the interns. He was a busy man, the only thing he knows is to gain as much power as possible, because this was what he taught from his childhood.

That however changed once Y/N caught his attention. There was something about her that intrigued him, something that stirred emotions he had long buried beneath layers of cold indifference. She was unlike anyone he had ever encountered—bright-eyed, optimistic, and utterly oblivious to the dangers lurking in the shadows.

He observed her, smiling among her colleagues and how charmingly she greets everyone.

At first, Shio dismissed his newfound fascination as a passing fancy, a mere distraction from the monotony of his daily routine. But he couldn't shake the image of her from his mind. Her laughter echoed in his thoughts, her smile haunting his dreams.

Once his manager Kim caught Shio smiling to himself before Shio quickly composed himself.

"What's up with boss?" One of his bodyguards asked manager Kim.

"Maybe he got lead to any new deal?" he replied.

Shio left his office and was going to the research department, his eyes were searching for her but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Is it lunch break?" he asked the employees.

"Hello sir, well yes, everyone should be back in twenty minutes." one of the frightened employee replied, he was shocked to see his boss in their area, he was usually in his office and never bothered to enter this section of the office.

"Okay," he mumbled in a sour tone and left.

The employees in the department looked at each other and wondered what happened.

Once everyone was back from lunch, the sudden visit of boss became a hot topic as they all discussed about it.

"Maybe he's planning to lay off some of us," one wondered.

"Oh God, I hope not." another shivered at the thought.

As they were discussing various theories, manager Kim came and said, "Y/N boss wants to see you," in a monotone voice.

Now Y/N was scared, "why suddenly?"

"Please follow me," he ignored her question.

She entered the office and took in the surroundings, she never been to his office, she's heard no one is really allowed here except his selective few people.

She noticed Shio's chair turned back from her and around towards the window.

"Boss, she's here," manager Kim informed.

Shio spinned his chair and looked at her.

"Good afternoon, sir," Y/N greeted her boss.

"Y/N, right? Come take a seat," Shio said, briefly looking at his manager and silently indicating to leave.

His manager took the hint and bowed at him before leaving. She nervously took a seat across him.

"So, how are you adjusting to Dogoo?" he asked.

"It's going really well, thank you for this opportunity," she smiled at him.

Ah that damn smile, his heart fluttered.

"Of course, you deserve this, you're very talented, I'm happy to have you in my team." Shio said sincerely.

"Really? I mean thank you, I'll try my best," she replied.

"Listen, I want you to work from my office from now on, I have this new research thing that I want you to s=oversee," Shio smiled at her.

Wow he got really nice smile, Y/N thought to herself.

"Okay sir," she replied, she was still a bit surprised on this role though. Shouldn't senior researcher work directly under him? But she dismissed her thought and was thankful for this opportunity that will help her career.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a month that she was working directly under Shio, she realized how much charming he was under this grumpy personality of his. He always bought her coffee and always helped her out with everything.

She would work in the morning with her team then shift to Shio's office after lunch till evening and work on his research.

Y/N found herself caught in a whirlwind of confusion. The enigmatic mafia boss who had always seemed so distant and unapproachable was suddenly paying her more attention than she knew what to do with. His glances lingered a fraction longer than necessary, his tone softer than she ever thought possible.

Her colleagues whispered behind her back, speculating about the nature of their relationship. Some envied her newfound favor, while others warned her to tread carefully, lest she find herself on the wrong side of Shio's temper.

There was another intern with Y/N named Mingyu. She quickly became best friend with him. He always cared about Y/N and they always helped each other out. One particular day they were just hanging around in the coffee machine area and were joking around. Shio was entering his office when his eyes quickly wandered over there. He scoffed and without a second thought, he marched over, his expression darkening with every step.

"What's going on here?" he demanded, his voice like thunder in the otherwise silent office.

Mingyu stiffened, caught off guard by Shio's sudden appearance. "N-nothing, sir," he stammered, taking a step back.

Shio's gaze flickered to Y/N, who was watching the exchange with a mixture of confusion and concern. "Is that so?" he said, his tone dripping with skepticism.

Y/N bit her lip, torn between loyalty to her colleague and fear of her boss's wrath. "We were just... talking," she offered weakly.

Shio's jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides. "I see," he said through gritted teeth. "Well, I suggest you find someone else to talk to from now on."

With that, he turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving Y/N and Mingyu in confusion.

"Was he jealous?" Mingyu wondered.

"Oh please, Mingyu, he was probably thinking why we were wasting our time," Y/N chuckled.

But for Shio, the encounter only served to confirm what he had been trying to deny all along. He was falling for Y/N, and there was no turning back.

As the days turned into weeks, Shio found himself drawn to her like a moth to a flame. He sought out her company whenever he could, relishing in the warmth of her smile and the lightness of her laughter. And with each passing day, the walls around his heart crumbled a little more, until he found himself standing on the precipice of a feeling he had long thought himself incapable of—love.

It was a feeling both terrifying and exhilarating, and he struggled to come to terms with it. He was a man of power and influence, used to getting what he wanted with a snap of his fingers. But love was a force beyond his control, a wild and untamed beast that threatened to consume him whole.

Finally, unable to bear the weight of his emotions any longer, Shio sought out Y/N in the quiet solitude of his office. She looked up from her work, surprise written across her features as he entered, his expression uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"Y/N," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I need to tell you something."

Y/N regarded him with a mixture of curiosity and concern. "What is it, Mr. Ryu?"

Shio took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. "I... I think I'm in love with you," he confessed, his heart pounding in his chest.

For a moment, Y/N was speechless, her eyes widening in disbelief. But then, a smile spread across her face, radiant and full of hope.

"Really?" she whispered, her voice barely audible above the pounding of Shio's heart.

Shio nodded, his gaze never leaving hers. "Yes, really."

And with those simple words, the floodgates burst open, washing away the doubts and fears that had plagued him for so long. In that moment, Ryu Shio, the notorious mafia boss, was just a man in love, standing before the woman who had stolen his heart.

As for Y/N, she reached out and took his hand, her fingers intertwining with his in a silent promise of forever. And as they stood there, bathed in the soft glow of the city lights, they knew that their love was a force to be reckoned with, strong enough to conquer even the darkest of shadows.

[signedkoko]

Ello there Koko! Welcome back! 💙 I'd like to request Sir Pentious with a reader who's basically his little evil henchman/sidekick. I don't see much writing for the bastard but I honestly love him so I'd love to see more! It could be platonic or romantic, either way is good!

Anything At All [Platonic]

In which you are Pentious' assistant, and hes been requested to help the V's. Genderneutral Reader.

Song - The Party Line by Belle and Sebastian

Everyone could use an assistant, especially the overlords of hell, because they had all kinds of important things to do. Menial tasks requiring trust should be left to someone who can act as the right-hand man. Or at least, that was what Pentious always told himself.

None of the other overlords really had a sidekick, assistant, or whatever you choose to call them; they were all servants.

Loyalty was the first thing you had to achieve when finding an assistant, but who could ever be loyal? Everyone down here had something they'd give it all up for. Thus, Pentious was constantly ridiculed for choosing to trust someone who could easily overthrow him given the right opportunity.

What they didn't consider was that you'd give up everything and anything for him, but they didn't need to know that.

Most of what you did was surveillance. While Pentious much preferred to bury himself in strange inventions with grandiose ideals, you handled all the real work that might actually get him the title he so desired. While he trampled on his own reputation, you fixed it and elevated your own.

Pentious was known, but mostly because it was next to yours. Even so, you hated the spotlight because it took it away from him. Pentious was like a mascot; he was perfect at being in the public eye and had the confidence of a lion, except without claws or teeth. It was all so unlike you, so you would rather support him.

Besides, it was at least a little amusing to watch your friend go all out, despite not having all that much to back him up. He was always especially hostile to Alastor, to the point where you knew not to be anywhere near him since it always ended so badly.

It was another cleanup day, and after being totaled by the radio demon, Pentious was as antsy as ever to restore his ship to its prior glory.

" Pentious? Do you ever think about moving on from him? " You'd always make sure to ask after their scuffles, hoping the answer would change.

" Of courssse not! That would be admitting defeat! " 

You sighed, a small laugh hidden in the veiled disappointment. It was still nice to see that he was so optimistic.

Pentious is extremely smart when it comes to weapons, engineering, and the sciences—he was anything and everything but street smart.

You'd prepared a meal for the two of you to share, asking questions that would help you navigate the next plan, and so you had an idea of what you'd need to round up. You loved hearing his next idea—what the new gun would be, how he figured he could defeat one of the strongest overlords of hell, and so on.

Unfortunately, your lunch was interrupted by your phone ringing, which you pulled up to see—the very face of technology himself. Before you could answer, the call started anyway.

" Tch. "

" Heyyy this is Sir whateveryoucallhim's assistant, right? Yeah, nice to meet you. Listen. I have to talk to Pentious. " You couldn't even get a word in before Pentious lept forward, stealing your phone from you and pushing you away.

" Its finally happening! Wait outside!! " Pentious urged you to the door, though the moment you were out, you pressed your ear to the door, trying to catch the conversation.

" Yess of course! It was a sssplendid idea speaking to the likes of I! I'll be on it straight away! " You figured the call ended because there was no more speaking.

When he opened the door, you almost fell forward, catching yourself so as not to make it seem like you'd been trying to listen in. Not like it mattered, because in a moment, Pentious was sharing every detail of the conversation with the excitement of a kid who got unlimited candy.

" Infiltrating the Hazbin Hotel? I don't know... It sounds like he just wants you to do his dirty work. Besides, doesn't Alastor work there? Won't he kick you out or catch on? " 

" Come now; we cannot wassste any time! " He hadn't listened to a word you said; he was already on his way to set course for the hotel.

As worried as you were, maybe the hotel would be kind to Pentious. If all went to hell, you could only hope the princess would have mercy on him.

At the very least, you urged him to wait a day so you could prepare to come along with him and suggested he leave his technology on the ship so as not to alert anyone in the hotel that he may be hostile.

While most may not recognize you, Alastor certainly would, so you were sure to leave any and all weapons back at home. Just in case, right?

While you dressed more cleanly in softer and more welcoming clothes, Pentious didn't change a thing despite your protests. He waltzed right up to the door with no care and was immediately greeted by the princess's significant other shoving a spear in his face.

Stepping forward, you caught the edge of her spear and moved it up, just barely missing Pentious's face. You smiled in warning.

" Sorry for him; he is just so excited to stay at your hotel. As am I. " You looked down at Pentious, signaling for him to get up.

Thankfully, Charlie was quick to grab him and drag him on in, which you followed behind, nervously shuffling past the girl who'd just tried to kill Pentious.

Unfortunately, another wall blocked you, as the one and only pornstar Angeldust was quick to shove the wannabe overlord out the door and into you. 

" Wait wait wait, are we really letting the guy who tried to kill us six hours ago in? And who the fuck are you? " The spider was extremely tall and still managed to tower over Pentious by a fraction.

You opted to stay silent, amused at how Pentious managed to pull himself through this one. Even so, the team did seem interested in your appearance; they'd never seen Pentious with anyone before.

For a moment, Charlie turned to look at Vaggie, and seconds later, the woman seemed to slouch in defeat.

" Whatever, not like hes harmless with or without the way machine. " Pentious pouted at her words, and you chuckled.

" Ooooh yes, yes, yes! Thank you so much! Right this way, you two, it is so exciting to have our first official guests!! " She seemed a lot more focused on Pentious as she pulled him through the corridors, showing off every aspect of the hotel. In a way, she reminded you a lot of Pentious.

You could already tell Pentious was going to be easily distracted from his mission, though before you could remind him, a stark static filled the air.

" Oh! Alastor! Our property manager: You've met our newest guests, Sir Pentious, and-- " 

" Ah yes! Hell's best underground assistant, it is such a pleasure. " Alastor took your hand into both of his, shaking it with a tilted glance." Oh! And the one who ruined my coat! I definitely remember you now. "

Still flabbergasted by the radio demons approach to you, you were frozen in place, Pentious anxiously shifting when Alastor's tone shifted between the two of you.

"Best assistant? You flatter me. " You tried to take the attention back, looking to the princess for some kind of relief.

" This seems like a, uhm- perfect opportunity for a lesson on apologizing! "

Author's Note - This is a fic exchange with @sillypenguincats ! You can read their Alastor x Reader here. Thank you for requesting, working with me, and being so kind 🖤

Word Count - 1,243

[coupleoffanfics]

I might write about this one day. Maybe. Probably.

Random things about y/n with the batfam

Based on First Post

Bruce Wayne

Bruce never knew how to deal with y/n’s emotional outbursts even before they drifted apart. Out of everyone y/n was hands down the most emotional out of all the kids. Like what he is supposed to do when she’s crying about stray cats that don’t have a home. Or those times when she’d tear up over failing a test.

Just gives her a pat on the back and tries saying that it's not the end of the world. Not really helping as it invalidates her emotions. She makes a mental note to not go to Bruce after getting the same “reassuring words” from him every time.

Nearly spat out his coffee when she called him Pa for the first time. It was only after a couple of months of living there. Seeing the shocked reaction, she quickly tried to take it back until he reassured her with a small smile.

“You won’t be my dad, but you can be my pa. So when I have kids you can be called peepaw.”

Bruce isn’t sure when y/n stopped calling him Pa, but he remembers how he felt hearing her call him Sir or Bruce. How unnatural it sounded. It was too formal, but what hurt the most was how she said it without a second thought. Acting like it was the norm.

What happened to him being Pa?

What does he have to do to get his Pa status back?

Hopefully he doesn’t learn that y/n gave that title to someone else.

Dick Grayson

Kinda regrets not getting to know y/n before he and the whole family start going off into the deep end. It's not like they never interact or anything. Dick had trained her when she was working toward becoming Batgirl, but it was Bruce who mainly trained her.

Dick wasn’t nearly as close to her as Tim or even Jason. He didn’t have the time when juggling the Teen Titans, establishing himself as Nightwing, and being a Wayne. It was a stressful time of his life.

But he has much more free time now. Meaning he has much more time to make up for not being a big brother for y/n.

Slightly jealous that everyone except for him and Damian know or at least knew y/n. Some more than others.

So to gain an edge he read her diary. Only once he swears and it wasn’t like he went searching for it or anything. Didn’t know she had one. It was just sitting there in a box under her bed. Anyone could have found it really.

Reading the neat handwriting and discovering the personality of y/n was interesting. Kinda expected something along the lines of teen angst constering how aloof she comes off when around the family. Instead he found words of an insecure yet optimistic girl.

Dick uses his newly acquired intel to make it easier for y/n to talk to him. Brings up media that she likes to bond over the “same” interests they have. Uses her insecurities against her.

If she gets mad at him for trying to plant the idea that her best friend was a bad person, he’ll act like she’s overrating. Say that she was yelling even if she wasn’t. When asking if there was any validity to his bullshit, he’ll bring up one of her insecurity.

“You’ve always been slow when it comes to everything, but good thing your favorite brother is always there for you.”

“Yeah, good thing I’ll always have Tim.”

“Yeah, wait-”

Jason Todd

They were somewhat close before he died as they trained and sparred with each other. He wished he was able to see her put on her suit for the first time as he knows how hard she worked for it. Could practically hear her squealing when she looked in the mirror.

Unlike the others, Jason avoided y/n on purpose. He felt ashamed for beating and having snapped her arm when he was trying to kill everyone. She wasn’t even fighting back. If it wasn’t for Bruce and Tim, y/n would have ended up in a casket.

When hearing that she quit being Batgirl, he was kind of surprised. He remembers the younger y/n trying so hard to meet Bruce’s expectations. Despite failing more than he could count, she always got back to work. Always trying to improve. Never being satisfied with herself.

Wanted to know what made her quit, but decided against it. It wasn’t his place to ask and he doubted that she’d tell him. It wasn’t like she told anyone though.

Was kinda glad that y/n quit. Jason always felt queasy when seeing or even thinking of her getting hurt since it reminds him of when he was so close to taking her life. And he always felt that she wasn’t made for this kind of work.

She was too soft to fight the Killer Croc or face Scarecrow. Even though Jason always felt that way, he’d never say it aloud. He couldn’t bring himself to dampen that twinkle in her eyes.

“I saw how hard you hit the punching bag, why are you holding back now?”

“I don’t know…I don’t want to hurt you or anything.”

“y/n, you're supposed to come at me with everything you got.”

“But I don’t like hurting you or anyone.”

Tim Drake

Tim and y/n were close even though it was a bit awkward at first. They geeked out about the latest games and shows. Staying up late enjoying whatever type entertainment with junk food much to the dismay of Bruce and Alfred.

y/n admired his intelligence and how patient he was when explaining something to her. Whether it was homework or something else entirely, he was the one she felt most comfortable asking for help from.

She was low-key jealous of how quickly Tim was able to gain the title of Robin while it took her years of training to become Batgirl. But the jealousy would later be admiration for a time.

Tim always felt privileged when y/n showed her artwork to him. She never likes showing it to anyone and hates when someone tries to look at what she was drawing. So when she asks for his attention and flips her notebook/tablet around he can't help smiling.

Even when they were on good terms, he wasn't sure how to approach her when going through a low. She either needed to be alone, talk, or push. The thing is Tim doesn't know how to appropriately react. He just doesn't want to make anything worse, so he ends up having her sit outside to absorb the sun rays. Since he noticed how that had brightened her low mood.

When y/n quit being Batgirl he gave her some space before asking about it. Surprisingly he didn't get much of an answer. She was usually so open about everything, especially with him.

Realizing that they were getting nowhere with this he backed off. Assuming that she'd tell him when she was ready.

Overtime they began hanging out less and less. He hadn't realized how far they drifted apart until one night. Just making a quick run to the kitchen for some coffee. It was pretty late and he didn't think any else was or would be awake.

Yet there was y/n sitting at the kitchen island writing on a paper with notes scattered around her. Homework. When Tim made his presence known with a simple hi, he noticed how…tense she got. Like she got caught stealing from the forbidden cookie jar.

When asking what she was working on, she gave short answers. He'd expected a monologue of how frustrating learning this new material is. Then asking if she needed help, he saw her jaw slightly clench. It looked like she was going to say more, but only declined with a no.

It was odd, but he didn't think too much of it at the time. He had…He didn't want to admit it, but he had more important things to deal with. If he knew of things that were going to happen, he would've done so much differently.

"— Really? I think this is my worst one yet."

"I don't know what you're talking about, it looks great. I couldn't ever draw something that good."

"Just because you can't draw doesn't make my drawing better. Wait, you were just shitting on me for comparing myself to others."

"Yeah, but that's different."

Damian Wayne/Al Ghul

Never liked y/n from the start. Before she even opened her mouth, just that smile looked so wrong. Damian couldn't put his finger on it, but didn't like it. It seemed so fake because it was.

There wasn't anything that made him feel like he needed to respect her like the others. Sure, she was Batgirl but only for a few years.

She never helped them with anything. She's never there to help in the first place. In his opinion she wasn't anything more than dead weight.

When insulted there was never an insult thrown back. He can tell when he struck a nerve when her lips move to the right and her eyes slightly harden. Maybe her nose will flare up if he hit hard enough.

Then she just responds with a hum before ignoring him or leaving the room. If she didn't respect herself enough to defend herself then why should he even bother with her.

When the family slowly/is yandere he'll reevaluate his view of y/n. Still thinks she's weak and cannot do anything, but less hateful. Which is a good thing until he's trying to have her attention whenever they're in the same room.

Or when he's digging through all her artwork while Dick is giggling to himself when reading her diary. Finding out their interest in the arts, he's forcing her to paint. Doesn't care if she doesn't like it, they're painting together.

"Why can't you carry your weight around the house? All you do is sit in your room."

"Hm."

"I don't even know why you're still here, Father should have kicked you out after you stopped being useful."

"Mhhm."

"I know you can hear me. You just don't know how to respond because it's true."

"Hmm."

|*|*|*|*|

Dear Diary,

Today my family tried to talk to me.

It was weird.

[saaraofthesand]

Oda Didn’t Understand Dazai: An Opinion By Me

@catboychuuuya wanted me to elaborate on that bit in my Soukoku post about Odasaku not really understanding Dazai. I aim to please, so here I am.

Let’s begin

Part A: Buraiha Trio

Oda wasn’t necessarily a bad friend. He just didn’t really know what to do with Dazai. I actually think Ango was both a better friend toward, and had a better understanding of, Dazai (Oda pushed Dazai toward the light, but Ango was the reason he got to stay there).

Oda decided that Dazai should live in the light, but I think Ango always thought he belonged there. Like he knew that Dazai had the potential to be good.

In the prologue of the Dark Era light novel, Ango is the one truly bothered by Dazai’s apathy and suicidal tendencies. Oda has very mild reactions to all of it. Dazai is basically crying out for help, and Oda’s reactions are very indulgent (kind of “that’s nice, sweetie”).

"'Oh yeah, I created a new hot-pot recipe. Would you guys be up to trying it next time we hang out? I call it the 'superhuman stamina pot.' You can run for hours without getting tired after eating it. It’s a dream of a—'

'Not in a million years,' Ango sternly declined.

'If it keeps you from getting tired, then it might be pretty useful before a hard day's work,' I added.

'…Odasaku, that's exactly the problem right there. You're enabling Dazai. You don't speak up, and that's why he goes off the rails.'

I see. So this was what Ango meant by 'enabling' him. You learn something new every day."

Now, again, Oda was not a bad person or friend. It’s normal to joke around with your friends. But also, I think it’s pretty clear (Particularly in Storm Bringer and the Dark Era) that Dazai was genuinely struggling in the mafia. He was extremely unhappy.

Another problem with Oda is that he put Dazai on a pedestal like almost everyone else in the mafia (exceptions are Chuuya and Ango for sure).

"No matter what he did, Dazai seemed to reach heights that normal people couldn’t."

The difference between Odasaku and the rest of the mafia is that Dazai greatly admired Odasaku. He admired his belief system and resolve. That’s why I think it’s so sad that Oda didn’t really understand Dazai, because Dazai took Oda’s word as gospel.

There’s one last quote from the prologue that I want to talk about:

"We had a saying in the Port Mafia: 'The greatest misfortune for Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemies.' If he wanted to, he could even have a picnic in the middle of a firefight. Dazai was practically born to be in the Mafia."

This is the first case where I think it’s clear that Oda has a fundamental misunderstanding of Dazai.

Dazai was not born to be in the mafia. He was groomed to be in mafia by Mori. Mori picked him because he was an extremely intelligent, yet directionless child. I think we all spend so much time thinking of Dazai as a puppet master that we forget that he is also capable of being manipulated himself.

Dazai is eighteen during the Dark Era. Eighteen. He’s a teenager. He’s not a mastermind. He’s a lost kid in desperate need of guidance. He spent four incredibly formative years of his life suffering under Mori’s thumb (One before officially joining the mafia, three after). Odasaku was Dazai’s hope, someone he could look to instead of Mori. He wanted to be like him so badly.

Part B: Something to Live For

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…”

Yeah, you read that right. Dazai just presented an optimistic outlook on life.

He’s speaking to someone who has just lost his main purpose in being in the mafia, taking care of those orphans. Yet, he’s begging him to find a new reason to live anyway.

Part C: Last Words

That brings me to Odasaku’s final moments.

“‘You won’t find it,’ Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him. ‘You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.’”

Okay, so, Odasaku is right that Dazai won’t find purpose in the darkness, but he’s wrong about why. Dazai is not an empty person incapable of happiness. Even though Dazai thinks this means that Odasaku understood him well, we can’t forget that Dazai doesn’t really understand himself. His feelings. His mind. Dazai genuinely believes that nothing can make him happy, but he’s wrong and the consequences to Oda’s words are huge.

Now, Dazai thinks he’s a villain pretending to be hero. He thinks he’s inherently empty. WHICH IS WRONG.

Think about why Dazai went to Oda’s side in the first place. Because Oda was his friend. Dazai put his personal feelings first in that situation, and he does that more often than people tend to notice. He’s actually motivated by emotions a lot.

During Storm Bringer, Dazai basically moves Heaven and Earth to stop Verlaine and keep Chuuya in the mafia.

“‘I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…’ Dazai paused before continuing, ‘…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.’”

We have to remember who prompted Dazai to think that, Chuuya. An idea born from Dazai’s relationship to another person, not the idea itself, was what made him join the mafia.

Ranpo is definitely autistic coded, but so is Dazai. Since No Longer Human was extremely influential on BSD, and that novel has a lot of autobiographical elements in it, it makes sense that Dazai seems autistic. After reading No Longer Human myself, I really do think that Osamu Dazai (the author) was autistic. Yōzō’s (the protagonist of No Longer Human) behavior is very autistic. I mean, at one point, he describes masking verbatim.

I’m mentioning this because I think that what Dazai hopes to understand is not a reason to live itself, but other people’s motivation to live. It’s an extension of the very autistic feeling of alienation from other people. Dazai thinks there’s something wrong with him because despite caring about other people a lot, he has trouble understanding their illogical behavior. He also struggles to understand his own illogical behavior.

I also think this is why Oda struggles to understand Dazai. Because people who aren’t autistic usually struggle to understand autism. Autistic people often get profiled as ‘sociopaths’ (an outdated term that refers to Antisocial Personality Disorder) and are seen as emotionless monsters.

Dazai distances himself from other people as a defense mechanism. In his own words, “I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” I think that indicates that he cares very much about the people in his life, but that he also lives in constant fear of losing them.

Conclusion

I don’t know how well I articulated any of this (I’m neurodivergent, can you tell?), but my point is that Odasaku took a lot about Dazai at face value, instead of trying to peel back the layers and understand him as a person. He ended up dehumanizing Dazai a bit in the process.

Dazai is far from perfect, but he’s also not inhuman.

I think about this quote from Atsushi a lot, “People need to be told they’re worthy of being alive by someone else or they can’t go on.” Like, what would have happened if someone told Dazai his life was worth living even without some grand purpose?

[sumicchin]

CHIMES OF THE HEART

❃ a wind breaker (satoru nii) reader insert

Chapter 6

Umemiya regrets telling everyone that conversation = fist fight. (1.9k words)

cw: female reader, umemiya spoiler, tsubakino referred to as they/them, i made up stuff about makochi

"You're just going to let her go, Sakura?" Suo says next to him, eyes not tearing away from the direction you went.

Sakura clenches his fist, forehead scrunching from the sudden stress, "I..."

"(F/n) probably won't go out of town, r-right? She did say she had to find something! I'm sure we can help her out!" Nirei optimistically says as he catches up to the two after giving Kakiuchi to his other classmates. He takes a good look at Sakura's face and sees his eyes wide.

Sakura is reminded of your conversation last night—of how he saw himself in you, and how much pain your eyes held.

It wasn't his concern, but he knew you needed help. He wasn't letting anyone go through what he did before.

"Sa...kura?" Nirei attempts to calm him down, until he sees Sakura take out his phone.

He gestures his hand towards the phone and Nirei becomes even more confused, "I need to call him... he'll know what to do."

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

Umemiya, despite his childhood, grew up to be a fine man. No one would imagine that a well-rounded guy like him, oh so cheery and charming, experienced hell on earth as a child. Anyone would feel bitter about losing their parents, and Umemiya was not free of that. He struggled, thinking he wasn't deserving of being saved.

Survivor's guilt.

But he grew to see what was important in front of him—to honor his parent's sacrifice by giving back love to those around him. To make everyone feel like family, and never let anyone feel like they're alone in this world.

"You're...amazing, Umemiya," you both stare into each other's eyes, holding massive respect for what he's been through and how he achieved his goals.

Umemiya chuckles, ruffling your hair, "I didn't tell you my story to pity me, you know? Was hoping you'd reconsider and stay here in Makochi, with us."

With...them?

It's too strange. Everyone in this town is strange. Were city folks always this welcoming towards outsiders?

"I don't want to keep bothering anyone...I can't go back to the shrine so I'm practically homeless." Supposedly, you were to be taken away by your husband after the vows, but now you aren't so sure if he's hot on your trail. But one thing was agreed upon—the shrine people and all its inhabitants except you were to remain unharmed. So long as you didn't go back to your previous residence, everyone was safe. Hayami, the friendly Mikos and the priest who you were thankful for secured the shrine. If anything else happens, Sojiro can take care of it. He was strong, unlike you. Everyone can trust in him.

Unlike you, already causing havoc in a new place.

"Sakura must be uncomfortable with me staying at his house," you mutter. "It doesn't sit right with me to live like everything's handed to me."

You're thankful, really, for the help you've received thus far. But how were you going to repay the kindness they've showered you with if your tracks only lingered with danger?

"You're all too kind... I'll carry the guilt of bringing danger to this town if I stay too long."

An overthinker that you are, Umemiya observes. "Makochi wasn't always like this, you know?"

He proceeds to tell you how Makochi used to be terrorized by delinquents day and night, the local businesses having trouble with their operations and families often fearing for their safety. Umemiya mentions a couple who led and funded the restoration of Makochi's properties, him in particular being a recipient of their kindness.

"The orphanage I grew up in was funded by a couple," he starts, pointing at the statue nearby the fountain. "I discussed the situation with the staff earlier and had my hunch confirmed. Everything checks out, you'd be the same age as their child if she were alive today. You're a split image of them too."

Then, that means...

He shows you a picture from his phone. Just like he says, you had their features.

Umemiya notices your trembling figure, immediately reaching out to pat the small of your back.

"I could've met my parents."

You grab Umemiya's blazer tight, tears threatening to fall from your eyes, "They're not gone yet, r-right? They're waiting for me?"

For once, you held onto hope—but Umemiya's look said otherwise.

"I'm...sorry," he says, almost whispering.

You couldn't help but let the tears flow uncontrollably, hanging onto Umemiya while he continued to calm you down in his own way. He knows the feeling all too well, and this time he'll be sure to help you out.

"Even if you were an outsider, we'd still help you to the best of our capabilities." He says, wrapping his arms around you, shielding you from any negative thoughts. "I...and the rest of Bofurin will protect you, (F/n)."

You look at Umemiya, giving you a bittersweet smile. "Welcome back, (F/n)."

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

Sakura, Nirei, and Suo found themselves walking to the park where Umemiya had instructed them to go. They eventually find Bofurin's leader and (F/n) in an embrace.

"Oh, if it isn't my favorite first years!" The boys look at the new group approaching them, led by Tsubaki and the Sakaki twins.

Sakura immediately signals to keep quiet, earning him a chuckle from the newcomers. "It's all fine! Ume told us to gather here, didn't you receive a message?"

Nirei checked his phone and lo and behold was a message from their leader, "Ah! We were too occupied searching for (F/n)."

Suo lets out a grin next to him, "It all worked out in the end, thanks to Sakura's plan!"

Said boy became heated from the mention, saying it was all Umemiya who did the work. He knew it was the right call to let Bofurin's leader handle the situation seeing how at ease you were next to him. Almost like they were intruding a special moment between two lovers at the park. He blushes at the sight, feeling a pang in his chest.

Now aware of more people's presence, you immediately get out of Umemiya's embrace and bow your head down, not letting him see your puffy red eyes and runny nose that may or may not have gotten into his uniform. He places his hand on your shoulder and gently asks, "Think you can face them?"

Standing up to acknowledge his peers, you turn your head towards the large group of students now approaching their leader. "Yo! Looks like everyone's here," Umemiya scans the group, "Even Kaji came, that's surprising!"

Kaji tenses at the special mention and feels all of his peers stare at him. His vice-captains laugh and Enomoto talks for his defense, albeit in a teasing manner, "Kaji said he wanted to fetch his jacket back and definitely not because he was worried about 'er or anything." Now this puts a nail in the coffin and everyone swore Kaji would've pounced on his friends if it weren't for Hiragi pulling him back.

"You're all too lively," Tamon's captain says as he drags Kaji by the hoodie, "Give (F/n) a break, don't wanna overwhelm her."

You watch the boys bickering and Umemiya notices the faint smile from your lips.

"Fun bunch, aren't they?" You nod.

"You can trust them, just open your heart."

Trusting them, a couple of teenagers who seemed rough around the edges, with your heart?

Maybe you should let loose this time. Umemiya, Kotoha, and Sakura are just the few people you've met today, yet they all radiate the same warmth and comfort you've been yearning for all these years. If everyone shares the same kindness, you'd probably think you're living in some kind of fantasy.

Recalling Hayami's last request for you—to live an earnest and free life. Maybe you can trust them to achieve it.

In a daze, you didn't notice someone approaching you giddily, almost a hope to their step.

"I'm so glad you're doing better now!" A tall figure immediately stood in front of you, but it didn't phase you one bit. Their presence wasn't trying to intimidate you. "I'm Tsubakino Tasuku, but Tsubaki-chan or anything will do, love!"

Tsubaki lets out a wide smile, enthusiastic to see you well and standing despite your puffy eyes and cheeks. You stand still though, and this immediately raised a concern with everyone.

"A-ah, did I scare you—"

Your eyes suddenly twinkle with excitement, and you yell what was running on your mind without a filter. "You're really beautiful! Very much!"

"It's a great honor meeting you!" Shaking hands with Tsubaki, everyone was startled with the sudden change in personality. This was most likely the enthusiasm you've been hiding all these years, suppressed by loneliness. Umemiya beside the two of you finds your exchange with Tsubaki very endearing, already making notes on how he'll elicit this kind of reaction from you soon. Hopefully you like plants!

Tsubaki on the other hand was already enamored with you, listening to every word you say. "Your hair and the way you dress, and the makeup really accentuates your features! The ones I see in the magazine don't compare to Tsubaki-chan!" You stop your rambling and see Tsubaki endearingly smiling at you with a blush.

"S-sorry! I just, get too excited seeing new things." You chuckle and Tsubaki does too.

It's hard to resist not taking you out this weekend, Tsubaki thinks. The trip will probably take a huge hit on their savings, but money can always be earned. Seeing your smile is a reward in itself for Tsubaki.

Everyone watches as Tsubaki continues to coddle you, happy to see you engaging enthusiastically. Suo lightly pushes a blushing Sakura, whose romance sensor has been going rampant since earlier, towards you and Tsubaki.

"H-hey! What gives?!" Sakura exclaims towards his eye-patched friend who only signalled a gesture for friend, linking his hands together.

Oh right, you probably hate him right now for what he did earlier at Pothos. Tsubaki seemed to understand the situation with how tense the two of you were, patting your head before leaving to stand next to Umemiya.

Just you and Sakura again, this time not so comfortable. "U-uh...about what happened earlier," his mouth becomes pouty, struggling to look you in the eye but he does so anyway, "I shouldn't have forced the idea...s-so...sorry."

His irises were trembling, searching desperately for a reaction from you. Sakura, despite his tough and standoffish attitude, always meant well and tried his best to help his peers. Last night's conversation was purely between two aloof individuals, both yearning to be in the presence of others, yet their struggles distinct. Hearts that were afraid of being vulnerable, not knowing if they were worth of affection.

"You were just looking out for me," you trail, "It's me who should be apologizing...for being stubborn."

Similar to how Anzai tried to reject everyone's help during the fight with KEEL, there was no escape from Sakura's headstrong personality. He'll find a way to worm in and help you out. He was just that selfless.

"He probably filled you in already on how this town operates and stuff," Sakura points at Umemiya, referencing his request earlier during their phone call. "Violence isn't something this town's had enough of."

"So you don't have to worry about us. Don't be afraid of asking for help, that's just how it is here."

You were indeed afraid. The concept of friendship and trust blurry to you not until yesterday, with Sakura declaring he was there to help you out, as a friend. It was a foreign feeling, and the boy reciprocated the confusion you must've felt before his bold intrusion. Even he was surprised by his actions last night. Everyone in Makochi must've been rubbing off of him—in the best possible way.

So, he tries to apply what he's learned so far.

"If you're still not convinced, let's settle this with a fight."

Or not.

"H-hey now, there's a time and place for fighting Sakura." Nirei visibly sweatdrops, "You can discuss things with (F/n) like a normal person, you know???" The boy looks to his other side and sees Suo with an approving smile. This is hopeless, Nirei concludes.

"If you win, I'll let you do what you want. If I win, you stay here in this town and let us protect you."

Hiragi, Tsubaki, and Umemiya all look confused.

Kaji and his vice-captains are all in awe with Sakura's naivety.

The Sakaki twins think this is a regular Friday. They've heard about you and how you can fend for yourself, so front row seats to see the real deal were nice.

The two first years, Suo and Nirei, were concerned, but Suo was just a tad bit curious to intervene. Nirei on the other hand thought otherwise.

Surely you're not that crazy enough to actually go with it?

"Fine with me," you reply.

Nirei just wants to curl up and do the pillbug stance right now.

tag list: @wutap, @the2ndl

[tommykinard6]

DEATH IS AN OLD FRIEND

Tommy struggles with his own mind

TW: suicidal ideation (going back as far as childhood), suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, passive suicidal thoughts, depression, referenced murder of a parental figure

On Tuesday, Tommy resigns from the LAFD.

On Wednesday, an hour from being Thursday, he finds a lonely bridge and pitches himself off of it.

Not with the intent to kill himself, not yet anyway. He has to sort out his brain first, try to get a coherent thought out of the fog.

His old therapist would have a field day. The shrinks for the LAFD would bench him permanently faster than he could finish speaking.

Tommy’s always had these urges, ones he learned were almost more shameful than being gay. Almost. They came and went, unlike his attraction to men, but they were always quick to come back. He remembered being 6, listening to his dad scream at his mom, and wondering idly if the knife on the counter would kill him if it fell. What it would take to make it fall.

He was 15 and beaten by his father for being caught kissing his best friend and wondered if Thomas Kinard Sr. would kill him. He hoped he would. He didn’t and that was worse.

He was 7 again and knew how to lie to his school counselor about his bruises. He was 12 when he gave up hope of being saved, watching his mother die from a fall that only he knew wasn’t accidental and wishing he was going with her. He was 18 when he joined the army, lying too easily about his own mental health. He’d had many years to learn how to lie. To lie was to survive and at some point, he’d become determined that Thomas Kinard wouldn’t kill him too.

He lied and lied and lied. Sometimes he fooled himself, thinking those days of wishing for his own death were simply a haunting of his childhood. He threw himself into danger, but everyone thought he was simply brave. His old CO did start to look at him funny shortly before the crash that had taken him out of the army, but nothing had come of it.

The time under Gerrard wasn’t worth speaking about. Well, except that Tommy had known about the gas leak. He’d figured it out when his equipment malfunctioned and he’d started to feel woozy. And instead of calling for help, he’d sat down to wait, passing out long before the explosion.

But Howie, Howie had saved him. Not only that, Howie still wanted to befriend him. Then Sal transferred in and he was a total asshole, but he still made Tommy feel safe in a way he hadn’t felt before.

That voice in the back of his mind became easier to ignore then. Hen arrived too and inexplicably was friendly with him even when he was too afraid to be singled out. He wondered if she guessed. Regardless, after Gerrard’s displacement and his own apologies, she’d seemed almost fond of him. He had friends, even just at work, and they helped quiet his mind.

Before leaving the 118, he visited a few bridges. The urges were getting stronger. He knew where the jump would kill him and where it would just leave him bruised.

But Tommy was a coward, and an optimist. At least, he told himself that. A position had just opened at Harbor Station and he’d just gotten his recertification to fly again. Lying through his teeth, saying all the correct things on his psych, it was so natural he didn’t even know it was a lie. Times were changing. Hen was openly queer and so were an increasing number of first responders and patients that he met. So he left Harbor and…well, he didn’t necessarily come out, but he didn’t hide either.

Milton asked him if he was married at dinner one night and Tommy said that he hadn’t found the right man. The world didn’t explode, Tommy was still breathing, and Milton simply hummed in acknowledgement before the other pilots began swapping stories about meeting their significant others.

Tommy’s career had never been better. All he had to do was find the right guy and maybe, maybe, the urges would stop. They were less prominent now, more passive, but they were ever his constant companions.

He had a longer relationship with suicidal ideation than he’d ever had with a person, platonic or romantic.

He dated Adam, who cheated on him. He dated Tim, who was married and didn’t say so. He dated Alex, who wasn’t out and kissed women to keep up appearances. He dated Micah, a trans man who was one of his most solid relationships but who ultimately ended it because he needed to move back home to take care of his ailing mother. Todd, Ethan, Nick, James, all men that expected things out of him that he couldn’t give and used him for everything he had left.

Then he met Evan.

The urges weren’t completely gone, but they’d never been more quiet. He was riding on a dopamine rush every moment he was around Evan, who was what you would get if you slapped together literal sunshine and a golden retriever.

6 months. Not his longest relationship, but completely his happiest.

Tommy wished he could explain that night. He wished he could explain to Evan how when he spoke of a future, all Tommy could think was that he shouldn’t even be alive. How did he get a happy ending, with actions he couldn’t ever fully atone for and demons that told him he was fundamentally broken. Every word Evan said sounded like it was about a different person.

He realized in retrospect that it was the anniversary of his mom’s death. That would explain the weirdness he felt all day leading up to him arriving at Evan’s. Maybe if he’d realized that, realized that the anniversary always put him in a bad place and bad places meant self sabotage and self loathing, he would’ve done something different. What, he didn’t know.

But he walked out of the apartment and didn’t allow himself to go back.

Less than 3 weeks later, he resigned from the LAFD. He wanted to leave with honors and distinction, not be discharged if it went wrong or have his memory marred when he didn’t show up to shift.

That’s how he winds up on the bridge.

His mind is a jumbled mess. There’s pain and desperation in there somewhere, underneath the odd passiveness he feels. But he stands on the bridge and thinks to himself that the only way forward is death. It comes to him as easily as noticing the weather or that it’s too late for cars to be driving on the bridge.

He doesn’t know if he wants to die. Somehow, he just knows it’s the next step.

So he jumps from the non-lethal point of the bridge. He’ll be soaked and bruised, but maybe doing the action his mind tells him to do without the consequences will trigger his brain into telling him what he actually wants. Whether that’s death or life, he doesn’t want to end everything on a passing thought.

He’s never felt so indecisive about dying yet so prompted to try at the same time.

He hits the water and feels nothing.

He doesn’t want to make his own decision. He wants Gerrard, the closest approximation of his father, to hold his hand and shove him off the bridge. He wants Evan to wrap his arms around him and hold him back. He wants someone to tell him that he won’t have to deal with this anymore.

He wants just one guaranteed moment without the thought of death.

He hauls himself up to the bridge, up a steep embankment, and grabs his phone that he left up there. His finger hovers over Evan’s contact, over the call button. Then Tommy locks his phone and looks out over the water.

He leaves, in an hour or so. Death is an old friend and constant companion, but he can’t sort out in his own mind whether it’s actually the way forward.

Maybe this is where other people in his situation call 9-1-1, looking for someone to talk them out of it. However, Tommy is starting to feel that he would need talking into it as much as he needs talking out of it and that thought is what enables his feet to move, taking him off the bridge and to his truck.

He doesn’t drive away until late Thursday morning, when the urge to pee finally breaks through the fog in his mind and he hasn’t yet taken himself up the bridge again.

When he gets to his house, cold and lonely but still his, he grabs his phone and goes to text Evan.

I tried to kill myself

Then he backspaces. That isn’t a fair text to send after 2 and a half weeks. Besides, it’s inaccurate. If he’d truly tried, he would have succeeded. He can’t put any of this on Evan. He has no right.

Instead, he texts Eddie.

***

“So Tommy,” Frank begins, once they are settled into his office. Tommy’s leg is bouncing and he can’t quite settle it. Eddie had sworn that Frank was amazing, even if it sounded like he himself had been reluctant to listen at times. “What brings you here today?”

Tommy can’t speak for a moment, struck by the enormity of the question and of his answer. This is it. He’ll never fly again. But he’d known that. That’s why he quit. All of this couldn’t be for nothing and there is no bridge nearby.

“I don’t know if I want to die.”

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Alexa, play Hey, Jealousy

This whole scene, Kang is obviously feeling jealous, because Pimfah is listing reasons why she likes Sailom. But! It easily reads as Kang struggling to confront the truth of what she's saying. Because he knows all these things about Sailom, he feels the same way about him, but he hasn't allowed himself to contextualize those feelings as "why I like Sailom".

That reality is why Kang is struggling to maintain his friendly interaction with Sailom after.

This is pretty straight forward jealousy.

Except that Kang got more upset when Sailom said that he pushed him to the cheerleading thing so that he could have a shot with Pimfah.

Kang thinks he's upset because Pim likes Sailom, but he's also upset because if Pim likes Sailom, then obviously Sailom will date her, she's great, but then Sailom will be dating her. And those feelings are very big and very confusing. Which we see here:

For Kang, Pim and Sailom dating was the logical conclusion. Sailom is a great guy, and Pim is the best, of course they'll get together.

When they don't, it's a threat to the narrative he's created, where he's jealous of Sailom, not because of Sailom. Where he can put everyone and all his feelings back into little boxes if his two friends just get together like they should. Where he can deal with the blow to his plan to give his dad what he wants, and marry someone who can give him kids, if everyone would just behave like they're supposed to.

This one is... this is the start of Kang figuring his shit out.

Guy literally rips Sailom away from Kang, and Kang can't even argue that Sailom is his friend, too, because he's very much not been a friend to him, and Sailom is actively keeping his distance.

Kang arrives with breakfast excited -- his body language is a little nervous, but almost giddy as he runs up the stairs with that cautiously optimistic smile. He's ready to mend fences and probably apologize, and reestablish their friendship (and ignore Sailom's confession, because Kang is Not there yet).

And there's his future best friend in law Guy, taking care of Sailom the way he wants to be, and he's hurt, but he's also angry that he's missed his chance. This is where he's fully aware of the cause of his jealousy.

THEN! THIS!

THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE!

Kang's friends are sure he's upset about the seniors being shitty to him and not acknowledging his contribution to the game. They're offering reassurances that he's earned his spot, but Kang hears none of it, because all he can see is Sailom hugging and congratulating Guy, smiling and being happy with Guy.

And here's where it all solidifies.

Where "Sailom works so hard, and he makes me feel like I should work hard, too" and "she likes you (why does that make me so mad)" and "I like you" and "he's my friend" all coalesce, and Kang gets it.

He understands that what he's feeling is romantic interest. That he needs to fix what he broke right now.

Of course, he's still 17/18 and dumb, because what he opens with is this:

Which like, yeah baby, we know. But that's not the important information from that little revelation. And Sailom, bless his little angry gay heart, rightfully responds with "And? Who tf do you think you are?"

Kang is clearly struggling. Struggling with Sailom's anger, and with finding the right thing to say that will appease him and also be true-- the thing that will quiet the screaming in his heart, because big feelings are not his forte.

And then Sailom deflates a little, and says "Please, can you just tell me?" and asks tiredly if he's somehow made Kang feel guilty again (because why else would Kang be there, there's nothing between them, right? They're not friends, Kang just feels guilty about how he's treated Sailom, right) And then, Kang knows what to do.

(it's also Very Interesting to me that in an episode that told so much of its story in flashback montages, the one that we get right when they kiss is "I used to hate it, but I think I'm starting to like it", because despite everything, Kang has never hated Sailom. Dude has been obsessed from the start)

Anyway, this was going to be a funny post with just the pictures of our boy being jealous, and then figuring out why, but obviously I'm not normal about them and this happened. *shrug emoji*

[arrowheadedbitch]

"Why do you even hang out with them?" Hitoshi asked Denki as they walked side by side to his dorm after Bakugo once again yelled at Denki for being 'stupid' in class.

"They arent bad friends!" He retorted, "Just a little...insensitive sometimes."

Shinsou shot him a look back and smirked ever so slighlty, "Oh, and youre such a good judge of character, huh?"

"Hey!" He exclaimed, leaning away to show how totally definitely offended he was, "Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing." Shinsou insisted, looking away and failing to fight a smile.

"Well," Denki leaned back towards Hitoshi again, "I judged your character pretty well." He gave his classic 'I got you there' smile.

"I don't know about that." Shinsou squinted slightly at Denki, giving up completely on trying to not smile. Denki just had that effect on him, there wasn't anything he could do about it. Except maybe not hang out with Denki anymore but just the thought of that made him want to jump off the nearest bridge. It's funny, not that long ago he would have rather died than be friends with this dork, now he'd rather die than be without him.

Denki gave Shinsou a look that clearly said 'Don't talk about yourself like that' without even having to open his mouth, Denki was good at doing those kind of looks. As if Denki had any room to tell Hitoshi not to talk bad about himself, Shinsou got plenty of those 'don't talk about yourself like that' looks in himself.

But he just sighed in response and casually looked away again. They walked like that for a moment in comfortable silence before Hitoshi spoke again. "You work so hard to see the good in people, why?"

"I don't know" Denki shrugged casually, looking at the walls of the hallway they were walking in. Every now and then they would pass some sort of poster or whatnot that a student put up and Denki would follow it with his eyes, getting a good look at it without stopping or slowing his walk as to not lose Shinsou, as if he didn't think the other boy would wait for him if he stopped. Shinsou resented all of Denki's past and current friends for making him worry so much about being left behind.

"You're too optimistic" Hitoshi responded, trying not to think about all the people who have wronged Denki in the past right now. It wasn't the time.

"I happen to like optimism," Denki lookrd back at his friend and smiled, "sometimes it's better to look for the good, when you don't at some point the bad ends up being all you see" at some point his smile faltered a little and his face got a little more serious and bittersweet.

"Sometimes you need to see the bad." Shinsou countered.

"Yeah, sometimes," Denki agreed, "but this isn't one of those times." The electric blonde answered, still referring to his friends in 1A.

"And you would know that how?" Hitoshi raised an eyebrow at him.

"I can just tell" Denki shrugged, a small smug smile gracing his face.

"How?" Shinsou leaned a little closer, playful skepticism filling the air around them.

"I guess I just have an eye for these sorts of things." Denki leaned in slightly too, matching Toshi's energy, excepting the implied playful challenge and smiling.

"Alright, alright," Shinsou leaned back again, "you look for the good in everyone, and I'll look for the bad." He compromised.

"I don't know if that's the best solution..." Denki tried and failed to hold back a small laugh, squinting at the taller boy.

"No," Hitoshi's face brightened up in a way that was rare for anyone but Kaminari to see, "because you can tell me about all the good to restore my faith in humanity or whatever and I can take care of you when you inevitably see the good in the wrong person, it's the perfect plan."

Denki couldn't help the way his face lit up to match Tosh's "I think you'll find I can take care of myself just fine." He rolled his eyes slightly.

"I know you can," Hitoshi's face went back to normal, the rare light dissipating, "but sometimes I don't think you want to."

"Oh?" Denki raised an eyebrow, face not yet dimming, "You think I'm looking for a prince charming to come save me? Jeez, how self-centered can you get?" He teased.

"No." Shinsou responded, no hint of the gentle back and forth teasing they were so used to in his voice.

"What?" Denki scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

"No." Shinsou continued, "I don't think you're waiting for someone to come and save you."

"Then wha-" Before he even finished what he was going to say, realization hit him. He knew exactly what Tosh meant. The smile left his face as a dread grew in his chest, he bit his lip and turned away from his greatest confidant, looking at the wall again but this time his eyes didn't follow any of the posters, not even registering they were there as his eyes fixed on the trim.

They sat in silence once again, but this time, it was longer and far less comfortable. Hitoshi watched as Denki stared at the wall, shrinking in on himself. A second ago his movements were so lively, but now he had his arms wrapped around his body and he was hunched down. He couldn't help the way his heart dropped and face scrunched in...not quite pity but something else entirely.

Denki chanced a glance back at Hitoshi before turning back to the wall trim, "...stop looking at me like that."

[heliads]

Hello hey can you do some fluff with Thomas ? 🥰please

when they are talking in the safe heaven they was mutual pinning for them since the glade. She was all ways there for him and vice versa. They are a balancing personality. She was pessimistic and he was optimistic. But they have matching energy: one day he make a stupid joke and she says «  why I’m in love with you remind me «  but she didn’t mean to, and Thomas was surprised because they were in love it was obvious and didn’t stop teasing her for it.

Ps : Newt and Teresa are alive

i believe in newt and teresa being alive

masterlist

There is no such thing as winning over Y/N. That’s one of the very first lessons Thomas learned upon entering the Glade, along with the other crucial ones such as ‘don’t pick a fight with Gally,’ and ‘for goodness’ sake, Greenie, stop trying to go in the Maze.’ Still, he’s not inclined to give up yet. On any of those topics, actually. 

Thomas is not prone to surrender. He is a fighter, always has been. Or, he’d like to say that, if he had any idea what he ‘always has been’ in his life. There is Thomas now, Thomas when he first came up in the Box, and then a great expanse of nothingness before and after that. Blank emptiness is his past, unknowable odds his future. There is only Thomas in the present moment, so capable of changing his future that he doesn’t even know his past.

The nothingness makes it easier to remember the lessons. He has so few concrete memories in his head that the day-to-day events stand out in bright highlighter neon. Thomas can remember the sensation of a pen but never what brand he liked best nor what he might have written with it. Thomas does not know if he has ever worked in a garden growing up, but he knows what seeds can become and that he hates being a Track-Hoe, so he focuses on the last bit instead.

It makes him lie awake at night, spending hours staring up at a sky utterly foreign to him in the hopes of remembering any more of it. The constellation over his nose could have been his favorite, once upon a time, it could have been taught to him by a mother or father, but now it is just a broad handful of stars somewhere beyond his reach.

With so little to fill his head except fear and paranoia of the day before, Thomas is forced to conjure up something better worth his imagination, and more often than not, that happy thing becomes Y/N. Y/N is probably what Thomas will become sooner or later, once the initial rush of finding himself in the Glade wears off and he just grows sick of everything in sight.

Y/N has been here longer than most everyone here. The only rivals she has in terms of tenure would be Alby or the dead boys lying in a grave somewhere in the Deadheads. All that time stuck in these stone walls, and it taught her the importance of never getting your hopes up. Thomas met her the first time and thought that he might make it his goal to get her to smile.

He reached that after a few days, but that didn’t stop him from trying again and again. So what if Y/N is a realist who’s given up on dreaming of a way to get out of here, Thomas has enough heart for both of them and he’ll wield it just the same. Thomas sidles up to her at meals and tells terrible jokes until she has to sip at her water to hide a smile. He listens to her talk about everything that goes wrong in the Glade and intersperses recollections of what went well that day as well.

Slowly, surely, Thomas swears that she’s coming over to his side. He can win her friendship like a battle, a round of cards, anything he can make his own with enough dumb luck and a good few twists of fate. He’s come closer than anyone else, so that surely should count for something, right?

Thomas knows he’s getting there when the other kids start intervening. Minho takes it upon himself to tell Thomas that this whole thing is a lost cause. Been there, done that, Minho says one day while they’re out mapping a sector of the Glade, you’re going to have to give up eventually, and you know that. Y/N doesn’t want to suddenly become an optimist. It’s not going to happen.

I don’t want her to suddenly become an optimist, Thomas argues back, I just want her to like being around me even if I’m one.

Later that day, while they were taking one of their few much-needed breaks, Thomas had dared to ask Minho more in between desperate sips of water.

You knew her at the start, didn’t you? What was she like? He’d prompted.

Minho had sighed, stared at the water in his hands. She was like you. I never thought she’d give up on the hope that we’d get of here, and then she did.

Thomas had pushed for more details on just what had happened to change Y/N’s mind, but he hadn’t been able to get any additional facts out of Minho other than a recollection of several Gladers lost without any monumental change in their slow slog towards getting answers out of the Maze.

Mainly, though, what had done Y/N in was time. She’s spent three years here now, three years without any sign that they’ll ever leave. Fine, then, Thomas decides. If Y/N can’t see a world in which they ever get out of here, he’ll forge a new one just to make her eyes light up again.

He’s good on his word, too. When Thomas finds the way out, when their entire way of life goes awry and Gally tries to exert his control over the Glade, Thomas fights his way out with his friends. He shows Y/N the door out of the Maze, and he takes her through it.

Thomas doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the look on her face when they step out into the sunlight for the first time. The sun was still there in the Glade, obviously, but it isn’t the same when you can feel the shadows of the Maze walls on your back with every other breath. Out there in the real world, though, that was something else altogether.

It was good, even when they were fighting for their lives in the Scorch. They spent their days terrified of Crank activity, but when the sun sank beneath the horizon and they were finally able to rest in whatever meager shelter that crossed their path, Thomas looked at Y/N and he knew that her hope was back. It was enough to make him keep fighting for a better life. It was enough to make him feel infallible.

And they did it, didn’t they? They found their way out. Thomas is reminiscing about old, worse times from his hut in the Safe Haven, far away from harm. Cranks cannot reach them here, nor WICKED, nor anyone else. He is here with his friends and Y/N, and he could not want for anyone else.

The final fights were the worst of Thomas’ life. He lost allies, but he saved some, too. Thomas doesn’t know that he’ll ever experience a fear quite like the one ricocheting through his chest when Newt was bitten. For a few horrific minutes there, Thomas had thought that he might lose him, the one friend he’d had from the very start. 

Minho had made it back in time with the cure, though, and then Newt was blinking up at him with shocked eyes and asking what had happened. Thomas hadn’t been able to answer him, not for a while. He remembers standing there, clutching Y/N for support, knowing that without her there he might have collapsed to the ground by Newt’s side.

That was Y/N for him, Thomas supposes. Whenever he was low, she was high. They complemented each other perfectly. He held out hope when she couldn’t, and when he was in danger of losing himself, Y/N pulled him back from the brink. Survival does horrible things to us all, but sometimes it gives you salvation in the form of people. Y/N is his people. Y/N is all he has ever needed.

Y/N was the one Thomas was thinking about when he was fleeing Janson through a burning city. Y/N was the name on his mind when Thomas caught Teresa just before the roof caved in. When the explosion hit him too hard and Thomas passed out on the Berg carrying them away, her face was the last one that flashed through his head.

It is all okay, though. They have lived through the horrors, the desolation, the grief. All that is left for them now is a quiet sort of ending, an epilogue in which the heroes win and the villains are forgotten. Thomas rises with the sun and goes to bed with the moon, and slowly, carefully, he heals.

They do that together, too. Thomas hands over leadership duties of the new settlement to the others; he wants no part of that now, no forced maturity of any kind, and he runs away to the one person who will always want him now. It’s funny, looking back on the Glade, how Thomas had always operated with this slight fear that Y/N was just humoring him because they were both stuck in the same place. He knows now for a fact that was never the case.

She’s told him as much, both directly and through the little things. He picks a wildflower out of surprise that such a colorful thing could idly grow on the side of the road and she tucks it behind her ear for the rest of the day. He wakes with nightmares and she holds him until the dreams become just that, just dreams, just memories which can no longer touch him.

Thomas thinks for the first time that growing old sounds like something that he can finally ignore. In the Glade and Scorch, the thought of making it to infirmity was something of a dream, an impossibility he would never reach. Right now, though, Thomas wants all the time he can get his hands on. He’s desperate for it, greedy and drunk on every moment. He loves the little things. He is enchanted by the big events. All of it is his, and all of it is beautiful.

He finds Y/N in the mornings, the evenings, the afternoons. They walk until their feet ache and sleep until the sun has climbed far too high in the sky, laugh and cry and live. It is nothing like what he thought growing up would be like, but then again, he never thought he’d make it far enough to judge. Right now, he is happy.

Very happy. He turns to Y/N as they’re sitting by the edge of the water and tells some sort of stupid joke. He’s been prone to them recently, like some inner comedian has suddenly remembered it exists and dusted itself off for its fair share in his personality. Maybe the Thomas before the Maze liked being funny. He’s never had enough time to figure out who that was at all.

Thomas waits for Y/N to say what she usually says in response to his attempts at being funny:  laugh along, maybe, or swat him on the shoulder, or come up with an even better joke just to make fun of him.

Instead, she rolls her eyes fondly. “That was awful.”

“Great,” Thomas corrects, “I think you mean it was great.”

“I certainly do not,” she says, smiling, “Remind me again why I love you?”

It’s late in the evening, maybe she’s tired, maybe that’s why she slips up and says something like that. Neither of them have been willing in any way to put a name on what they have or what they feel, but it occurs to Thomas that he wants that label more than anything he’s ever wanted before.

Y/N’s face looks tight, as if the skin has been yanked up on her bones to expose the skeleton beneath. She starts talking about something else quickly, the words tumbling out in an attempt to hide what had been said before. It doesn’t matter, though, Thomas knows what he heard and he adores it.

“I love you too,” he says. He feels like shouting it.

Y/N stares at him. “What?”

“I love you,” he answers her. “I love you. And you totally knew that, by the way. You’ve known that all along, so you do not get to just pretend like that didn’t happen. I know what you said. Also, I want it remembered from here on out that you said ‘I love you first.’”

Y/N gives him a look, but she can’t stop her lips from twisting up into a grin, so even her fiercest glares can’t weather him in the slightest. “Why does the order of who said what first even matter?”

“Who knows?” Thomas says, shrugging as casually as he can, “Probably that you’re just, you know, obsessed with me or something. I wouldn’t blame you.”

This time Y/N does swat him, but she kisses him too, so Thomas supposes she could be forgiven. He already has. He’d do it in a heartbeat, even if she was stabbing him through the chest instead of toying with him. He loves her. He loves her, and he won’t do anything else but that.

requested by @hope92100, i hope you enjoy!

tmr taglist: @rogueanschel, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @thatfangirl42, @hiya-itsamber, @gods-fools-heroes, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @ilovexavierthrope, @fadedver

[happi-dreams]

so me and my sister just rewatched both the lego movies and we have just been yapping to each-other ever since and i really need to talk about emmet as a autistic character and the movies in general because GOD—

Emmet autism power time wao

In the beginning of the first movie, Emmet is the only person we see who consistently refers to the instructions and carries it around throughout his day — kinda being a ‘script’ that other autistic people use to fit in with others or use with social situations except instead of being internalised rules it’s a *literal* instruction book (which he has many of). This being a representation of the expectations that society expects of him and the unspoken rules he needs to follow; he’s been essentially wearing a mask throughout his whole life in an attempt to fit in, but even then his peers still see him as different due to them not following the instructions as closely as he does, causing a disconnect that Emmet couldn’t know about because he assumed everyone is doing the same as him.

But by the end of the first movie, Emmet realises that he can be himself and can focus on what makes him, *him*!! Rather than constantly following what others expects of him, he unlocks the ability to master-build and uses it for specifically things that interest him and what he wants (e.g the construction robot and the double decker couch!).

This lead into the beginning of the second movie, after 5 years Emmet is now living by his own life by his own rules, he still follows instructions but this time he makes it himself! He knows that routine and it makes him the most comfortable so he continues to do it but by his own terms. (akin to how autistic people (me) use specific routines and plans to make their day to day easier).

He’s also shown to be the only person who’s appearance hasn’t changed at all, still sticking to his optimistic demeanour because it’s an integral part of his identity as a person and by not conforming to the expectations of society he’s in, he’s being himself and valuing what makes him unique — building things that are specific to solely him.

In the Christmas tree short he’s the head of the construction crew sequence team, in the movie he builds a comfortable home with all of his interests and personality stuffed inside! But it is immediately disregarded as ‘not serious’ and ‘too bright/clean/friendly’ and dangerous to society (dangerous to the views society wants him to conform to) — with that critique of his home then being an indirect critique of his character and who he is as a whole, that he cannot or should not be himself anymore, that he needs to change and be more serious, more mature, this evident key reignites the feelings of insecurity in Emmet that he should not need to feel again following the events of movie 1.

—

Considering Rex Dangervest as a character; this is a version of Emmet we see as who, after being stuck in a dryer and wallowing in feelings of betrayal and anger, conforms to what his old peers wanted from him, putting on another mask now of maturity. He changes his entire appearance, emphasising the change while also burying his past identity.

However, even though he’s being what others wanted of him, he’s still doing it for himself and to attempt to squash or bury the deep insecurity he now has. He’s learned that instructions aren’t needed anymore, which is yet another thing he has completely removed from his identity now and in an attempt to be as un-himself as possible, he lives his life impulsively and destructively — his entire crew being composed of raptors than people, reflecting his distrust of people and further separating himself from them, furthering his isolation in toe.

Rex is also a unreliable narrator, lying about his accomplishments and playing it up to further conform into this mask he has created and making himself seem much more special and interesting than what he may actually be, using this to push himself further away from who he used to be (quite similar to Lucy actually, but taken even further through him taking what everyone says about him literally).

—

But back to Emmet, when he meets Rex he is in a vulnerable point in his life both in situation and emotionally, he’s unsure of whether he should be himself or how others feel about him. He wants to be loved and known by others and not being ignored like he was in the beginning of the first movie, he’s clearly willing to change himself in order to achieve this goal even if it’s not good for him, Rex had (has) this same insecurity and feeds into this intentionally, encouraging Emmet to change himself and grow tougher and stronger mirroring what his peers used to do with him, showing a cycle of hurt that is caused because of those words and actions.

Emmet changes *insanely* quickly, learning the master-breaking ability immediately as opposed to Rex who likely needed years to perfect it, likely pushing most of his feelings deep down and even though he’s accepted more of himself at the beginning of the second movie, his whole life before then was constant repression and masking, the instructions he was given by society actively told him what to do and how to feel, how to answer others but he was never given an outlet for any negative emotions.

That many years of repression cannot be undone such a short time, but Rex gives him a destructive outlet to vent his emotions rather than a constructive one — furthering what Rex wants Emmet to be and what Rex sees as good now because of his own trauma, wishing to now better his past self and help him realise the ‘truth’ earlier than he did, both to help Emmet but also protect him from what Rex had to go through but in the end hurting Emmet anyways.

In conclusion,

Emmet is uber duper autistic and he should be able to get a therapist and also be silly *drops mic*

I have more I wanna yap about but imma give myself a lil break cause i have like, a whole talk about the second movie plus a rewrite of the entire dryer bit plus fun things but ye

But i really hope this sounded good !! if you have literally anything to add or rebuttal please let me know! :D