#I MEAN I HATE YOU DUMBASS

[poppurini]

warming up to you

Pairing: Lilia Vanrouge x gn!reader

Synopsis: you weren't too keen on the school playboy, but maybe his persistent efforts have started to wear you down?

Tags: fluff, shoujo manga inspired, modern au, mixed school, flirting, lilia cooks, silver is lilia's adopted sibling, reader (millie) likes more masculine men for a bit

Word count: 1k+

Notes: this was requested by my dearest millie @hheun!! mwah mwah i love talking to you and every time i get a notif from you im just smiling automatically at how you're handling Lilia ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

her request was very long so maybe i'll post it separately (cuz funni), but this takes place in a modern school au and the events that take place were specifically designed for millie hehehe #millia

to millie: heart attack incoming!! hope u enjoy it ;)

lilia vanrouge is the vice president of the diasomnia house

so when you first saw him, you respected him quite a bit, though his features did make him seem a little out of place as compared to malleus, silver and sebek

you quickly learned that those exact features made him incredibly popular

maybe overly so, because every time you saw him, you could see him flirting with an entirely different person

the first time you actually spoke to him, he was looking for his misplaced pencil case, still wearing the overly large science coat with the large goggles resting atop his head

"Excuse me dear, I seem to have misplaced my pencil case and I have no idea where it could be. Would you be a dear and join me in my search?"

you simply raised an eyebrow, and shook your head no

he pursued his lips and made a pouting face, but you just stared blankly at him

relenting, he sighed and turned around to find someone else to help him with his search

you could faintly hear a "... Am I not cute enough today?"

fortunately (or not), you stumbled across a pencil case at the edge of the staircase, with diasomnia, light music club, and bat keychains attached to the one zipper

hmm, he must have dropped it while switching classrooms

so you bring it to the diasomnia house room, where you were greeted by silver

you entrusted the pencil case to silver, but not without him asking for your name and class so Lilia could say thank you properly

of course, you tried to leave, really not wanting to get involved in any sense with the playboy and his fanbase

but silver being the dear that he is insisted on having your name

the next day, as you were walking to your classroom, Lilia appeared seemingly out of nowhere

he thanks you, but starts rambling off "Oh I knew I was cute enough yesterday! How sweet of you to help little old me, khee hee!"

ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ ...sure, lilia-senpai

you try to brush off his gratitude with a quick "you're welcome" and "it wasn't a bother really"

but then he's spouting "It must be fate that you were the one to help me! Darling, won't you let me return the favour? Perhaps, with a date?" he says while batting his eyelashes cutely

??? no??? you weren't into the cute type of guys, you liked more masculine, muscular men ahem leona senpai

so you rejected him honestly, but rather than be upset, his eyes are just twinkling mischievously (uh oh)

after that event, you just started encountering him randomly in your school life

popping up randomly to ask you out because he looked particularly cute that day

asking you to come over to the light music club after school

you continued to reject him, thinking he was just playing around like with all the other girls

but then one day, he came up to you with a request

"Dear, would you happen to be good at baking?"

see, silver's birthday is coming up, and apparently it's all the rage nowadays (so he says) to have a homemade cake rather than a store-bought one and "of course, it's also more nutritious"

but, rather infamously, Lilia's not the best cook

see the white day incident, where he made chocolates in return for all the ones he received and almost succeeded in murdering everyone's tastebuds

so nobody really wants to work with Lilia in the kitchen, not even his devoted(?) fangirls

usually you would've rejected his request, for two reasons, one being the rumours of his cooking, and two being not wanting to become further involved with him

but he seemed so sincere about his wish for silver, and so downcast at being unable to make the perfect birthday cake that you couldn't help but agree

on the condition that he listen to your every word whilst working in the kitchen

and thank god for that condition, because you quickly learned why he was a bad cook

"But this recipe isn't nearly nutritious enough! Shall we add some lettuce? Or perhaps..."

Lilia, we're baking a cake, not a salad...

you felt so bad for whoever was his partner in home economics

but you gave him the task of whisking the eggs after having him prepare the stovetop, where you planned to melt the butter in a saucepan...

"There was one time I went abroad and brought something back for Silver..." Lilia recounted, his hand hard at work whisking the eggs.

But just as you were getting lost in his storytelling, disaster struck. The stovetop suddenly caught on fire, flames dancing dangerously high. Panic welled up within you, and before you could react, Lilia acted swiftly.

"Careful!" he exclaimed with urgency. With the grace of a gallant knight, he pulled you close, his body a protective shield against the fire. His surprisingly serious face caught you off guard, the fiery glow reflected in the depths of his crimson eyes. His arms were a fortress, secure and tight around you.

Thump. Thump.

In a matter of moments, Lilia turned off the gas and moved the saucepan away from the stovetop, as if he were used to dealing with emergencies in the kitchen.

"Are you alright, dearest?" he asked, genuine concern in his eyes.

You took a moment to collect yourself, your heart still racing. "Oh, uhmm, yes, I'm fine... Wait, did you turn the stove all the way up?"

Lilia looked a bit confused as he admitted, "Yes? I wanted to melt the butter faster."

You couldn't help but shake your head in exasperation. "Lilia!!!" you exclaimed, incredulous at his impulsive cooking decisions.

He chuckled, seemingly unfazed by the near-disaster. "Well, it did the job, didn't it?"

thankfully, you manage to finish the cake without either of you getting hurt

it's not the best looking cake, but it definitely has a homemade feel to it, only enhanced by the chopsticks used to support it

you also get invited to silver's birthday party! lilia keeps trying to take pictures with you and ask you out

only this time, you can't help but feel more affected by his attempts than you were before

maybe you've taken a liking to the playboy afterall ;)

"Goodness, isn't it about time you give me a chance, darling?" Lilia playfully pouts, placing his hands on his hips in a mock display of irritation.

He sighs, before a rueful smile graces his lips. "Well, I suppose it's alright for now. I'm a very persistent man, you see," he says, his unwavering gaze fixed on yours.

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:

the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")

tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible

bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)

the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")

that is a man who is always thinking about her.

[satangcrush]

ghost

mammon x g!n reader, sfw, not beta-read

summary: Picking up money and accidentally getting married to a ghost, uhhh belphie and satan makes an appearance here cw: mc is a ghost and mammon is a dumbass an: this is based on a chinese tradition that i dug out from the depth of my mind so it may not be very accurate

“That demon said that the grocery store should be ahead.” 

The blond-haired demon scowled harshly at his device, a frown marring his handsome face. His jacket flutters in the wind, pale mist surrounding the group of demons. Another one tails behind, feet dragging sluggishly as he yawns.

“Who has the list?”

The Avatar of Greed was a step behind, pausing to kick every rock spotted on the walkway. He didn’t understand why he was assigned to go grocery shopping.

He had better things to do, especially with his precious time! He could be hitting up a casino or maybe even raiding a bank right now.

Regardless, he could still be using his time to do better things.

“Are you actually pouting?” Belphegor snorted, half-lidded eyes opening wide when the rock hit his leg. He winces once, bending down to rub at his ankle. “Are you five or something?”

The last-born picks up the offending object, throwing and catching it menacingly. “Rub that stupid expression off your face and say sorry.”

He was not pouting. 

“Stop arguing.” The one at the front sighs, closing his eyes with a shake of his head. Looking weary and far beyond his years, he strides over to grab the rock from Belphegor’s palm.

“Hey–”

“–Thank you, I’ll confiscate this now.” He interrupts, leaving no room for negotiation. Grabbing onto the youngest’s arm, he drags him back to the front, leaving only the second-born behind.

Mammon hears a shushed scolding. “You don’t have to stoop to his level.”

“Hey! Ya’ know I can hear you right?!” He shouts back, voice bordering on a growl. Satan whips his head around to give him an incredulous look.

“That’s the point.”

“Hey!”

He slinks back to the back again, decidedly not wearing a pout.

Satan finally lets out a sigh of relief, continuing with his navigation after keeping his brothers in check. “I know you didn’t want to come along but we have to do this to maintain the relationship between the worlds.”

“Got it.” He groaned loudly, knuckles rubbing at the corners of his eyes hard. His vision goes dark momentarily and he fumbles forward, tripping over his steps. “You sound like Lucifer right now.”

“What’s next? Are ya’ going to tell me that Lord Diavolo is going to be disappointed, yada yada.” He straightens up, pretending to tighten his tie and lowering his tone. He wags a finger and arches an eyebrow, channeling the energy of a tired old man.

Much to his dismay, he hadn’t realised that a cloud of dark unease had surrounded his younger brother.

“I didn’t know you had a death wish,” Belphegor remarks casually, watching in amusement as the blond-haired demon stalks towards his prey.

“Eek!”

No matter how often he had seen his younger brother in this state, it still sent a chill down his spine.

“You have three seconds to run.”

Mammon didn’t even stay to hear the end of the sentence before taking off, putting on the tiniest bit of boost to ensure that he stayed out of his brother’s reach.

He slithered in and out of alleyways, doing his best to evade capture.

The flicker of gold in the middle of the street catches his eye. He hesitates mid-action before deciding to abandon his course, skidding to a stop and grabbing it before anyone could catch him.

“This is my lucky day.” He mutters under his breath, shoving the mysterious item into his pocket. He would just need to lose the mad harpy that was on his heel and thereafter, locate a safe space to break into his present.

.

One way or another, he manages to lose him.

The Avatar of Greed pants hard, hands on his knees, before he slumps to the ground. He makes sure to stay hidden, under the cover of a slide.

His heart beats fast as he slides out what he picked up earlier.

The vermilion envelope glimmers, reflecting the warmth of the afternoon sun back at his confused face. He turns it around, fingers tracing over the velvety smooth surface as he stares in awe at the gold lining.

“Gold…” He breathes out, shaking in barely controlled excitement. He has absolutely no idea why it was lying on the street but it must be Mother Luck shining down at him.

He could strike it rich with this! He just needs to cash it in and make sure to bet it on a sure-win. This would definitely be his breakout chance.

Now, all he had to do was to open it.

He trembles, fingers carefully and meticulously removing the seal on the envelope. It was strange how the seal fell apart easily but he couldn’t be bothered to overthink. He dismisses his concerns, excitedly unfurling his reward after his long patience.

A strange mist curls out, wrapping around his upper body and dimming his vision.

“Mammon.”

 He heard the tell-tale growl of an angry demon but he wasn’t able to see him. Instead, he was frozen stiff, unable to make out where the mist was coming from.

“Mammon!” A second cry comes just as something cold creeps around his chest. He starts to laugh nervously before it trails off.

“It’s nice to meet you, husband.” 

A whisper of his name and a cool exhale of his name near his ears makes him shudder. He turns his head slowly but he can only see the ghost of painted bright red lips before he lets out a scream.

“You—” He recognises that voice, growly with just the barest hint of baritone. Turning in desperation, he tries to locate him. Weirdly enough, there seemed to be a barrier around him as if to keep him in. 

The mist clears enough for him to peek through. A flash of blond hair catches his attention and he clings to the sight, whipping his head to meet the frantic eyes of his brother.

A burst of cool air sends the fourth-born flying back, slamming into the Avatar of Sloth who was a couple of steps away.

“Satan!” He shrieks, clawing at the wall of energy around him. He had to go and check on his brothers now, to see if they were okay. 

The barrier does not respond to his desperation. 

Instead, the apparition appears again, flickering in and out of focus.

“Husband, please hold on as I get rid of them.” The brightly painted lips curve up, stretching into a wide smile. It’s imprinted on the back of his eyelids when he blinks. 

Suddenly, your figure wasn’t there when he opened his eyes again.

A sense of dread fills his veins.

No, no. He can’t let this happen again.

“Wait!”

The taste of bile fills his throat as his eyes feverishly search the area for your silhouette, locating you in front of Satan. A gust of wind throws his brothers down again, and he pounds at the barrier, fear gripping him by the throat.

He has to do something.

“HEY!” He couldn’t tell if the roar in the air was the sound of the wind or his own voice but continued, scratching at the barrier, doing everything he possibly could to catch their attention.

“If I’m your husband, you can’t—”

He chokes on his words, barely registering the taste of blood in his mouth. The Avatar of Greed frantically scrambles for words, spitting out whatever that popped up in his mind.

“—Bully your brothers-in-law!”

The apparition freezes. All he could hear was the ghastly sound of wind blowing past him, and the horrifying realisation of the situation dawned on him. You turn slowly, ignoring the groans of his brothers still slumped on the ground.

This time, he sees you clearly. 

You’re wispy at the edge but he can make out the soft slope of your shoulder, the slight frown on your face. His eyes are magnetized to yours, sparkling and far too bright for what should be a ghost.

“Brothers-in-law?” You state slowly with a tilt of your head. 

He swallows, hands shaking as he brings them to his side. You glide over to where Satan lies, fading in and out of focus.

He nods when you turn to look at him for confirmation.

“We don’t look alike but we’re family.” He clarifies again, wiping at his mouth. He hadn’t even realised he had bitten his tongue, the pain only coursing through him now.

You stay silent, squatting down to survey Satan’s features closer. The blond-haired demon bares his teeth, pushing Belphegor behind him. Thankfully, it seemed that both demons hadn’t suffered any major injuries.

“Husband, you’re not lying to me?” A puff of cloud forms when you speak, blowing into Satan’s face. The fourth-born shudders, turning his head away from the sight.

“No.”

You stand up, tall and proud. For some reason, your silhouette was starting to become more distinct. He can feel that you’re fuelled by magic — it’s a gut feeling. You glow dimly, translucent in the light.

He thinks you’re ethereal and otherworldly.

“Uh, can you take this down?” With a gulp, he calls out while vaguely pointing at the space in front of him.

A whoosh of wind flew past him and the barrier was dismantled in the blink of an eye. You don’t give him an opening, moving to block his path of escape.

Gently, you move to peer closer at his face.

With your face this close, he can only focus on the flecks of gold found in your eyes and he gulps loudly again.

“Husband, you’re bound to me now.” Your laughter tinkles like wind chimes in the air. He can’t tell if he’s imagining it but you seem to grow even brighter at every pound of his heart. 

“Your magic is the one fuelling me.”

Shit.

Lucifer is going to murder him.

[glitchy-haha]

Listen know the year just started like a day ago and I said that I would try to not rant as much this year but I hope everyone who even remotely uses the terms "Fandom police/Fanpol/Fancop" and "Acab includes fandom police" unironically in 2025 and beyond that please fuck off and block this account one time because I have a lot to say to you bitches and I would personally rather not embrace rage this year

[pa-pa-plasma]

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Jay not being able to make up his mind on whether he wants Alex to be nice to him or whether he wants to antagonize him into hitting him hard, is making this chapter and absolute rollercoaster to write.

[butchsquatch]

what the fuck do you mean arch motorcycles are real and it's a company made by keanu why did I not know that????

[velvetvexations]

Me, a transwoman, in an aside: I think the term TME has some inherent issues but putting that aside the main point of this ask is-

Freaks: The backlash against TME/TMA is that transmascs don't want to identify themselves so they can use confusing terminology to pretend to be transfems.

[oxymoronicdumbass]

if i have to sit through one more conversation in which i have to listen to someone chirp about the benefits of AI, i am going to stab someone

[nintendont2502]

tumblr is such a fucking site (derogatory)

[histrynerdss]

i dont like my highschool friends

[coolauntlilith]

ATFC s1e8 Jerry has me fucking sick to my stomach about Simon's, "Wha- No, no! Why would I??"

I kinda am wondering if his lack of reaching Chaos Betty is maybe bc she now doesn't want him to reach her. If she's still kinda Betty, anyway.

Edit: I just finished my second rewatch and I do wonder where Golbetty is portalling him. 👀

[michyeosseo]

At least one bite? You must be hungry. I know you hate me but–

Yoon Hae Young and Choi Myung Gil as JANG SE-MI & BAEK DO-YI LADY DURIAN (2023) 1.07

[an-au-blog]

I just remembered there's people out there who genuinely hate some of the strawhats and i started laughing. I'm sorry, but that must be miserable.

[calilk]

need to cut my hair asap the Bad Feelings are mauling me right now

[3416]

like... what do you even mean you absolute BUFFOON