#I LOVE READING ANYTHING FROM YOU
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general lilia who's all tough on the outside, known for his aggressiveness in the battlefield but as soon as you're by his side- it's like everything his soldiers knew about him disappeared. he lets you do his eyeliner even when it's messy, he lets you put pink ribbons in his hair and uniform, and he giggles n smiles like you have the sun on your fingertips with the way you warm his skin.
in my delusional era you have me down bad for this man omg. also i needed to this out of my system ihaven't written ANYTHING in so long *sobs


“Y/n, darling, not here-”
the fearsome general of briar valley could only sigh and go along with your whims as you tugged him to sit down, a soft giggle escaping your lips—that he missed dearly—as you instructed the general of briar valley to sit still, your voice jokingly stern.
his hair, his wrist, his arm— you busied yourself with tying some bows onto the man with baby pink ribbons while humming a calm tune. your laugh, like melody to his ears, ring occasionally in the night when you hear his quiet grumble.
when he saw his subordinates staring at him in silence, he only waved a dismissive hand before deadpanning at baul who stood not so far away.
even though he wasn’t particularly fond of your actions, he couldn’t bring himself to reject you when you looked so happy. especially since he knows he would have to leave you for another week or so after tonight; this was the least he could provide for you as your lover. you’d catch him gaze at you with adoration, concealed by that stoic demeanour he had put up for himself as briar valley’s protector. you’d grow hot and shy when he tucks a strand of your hair away, murmuring why you don’t just put the bows on yourself instead as you’d look way cuter than him before giving you a teasing tap on the cheek with the back of his finger, his smugness evident through the quiet chuckle he had let out. some tough general he is.
++ irah i can’t do this anymore when i made that post i wasn’t asking for an ask that made me evaporate into thin air??? you could’ve kept this to yourself why involve me???? i don’t even know who l*lia is i got nothing to do with that man pls stop harassing me /j
#I’M LITERALLY GOING TO YELL#IN A 2AM QUIET ASIAN HOUSEHOLD#THE SLIPPERS ARE FLYING MY WAY ALREADT#take this…idk whatever i could churn out atm#ALL JOKES ASIDE ILYSM FOR SENDING ME THIS??????#I LOVE READING ANYTHING FROM YOU#proud of making u fall 4 da general 🤭#inbox.#lilia vanrouge x reader#gender neutral reader#vanrouge.
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Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3
(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)
[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.
The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."
A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned
Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?
Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"
A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.
The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"
We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless
Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this
Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.
We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder
Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?
Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes
Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!
Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey
Maya: Shh just listen!
We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".
Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.
We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.
Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?
Nick looks at him, waiting for his response
We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."
We cut again to see the three of them standing together.
Miles: I... don't think I like women?
Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!
Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!
We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.
Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.
We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.
With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.
Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.
Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement
Nick: It's four in the afternoon-
he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight
Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.
Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?
Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.
We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.
As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.
Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve
Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?
We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick
Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk
Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...
Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"
/.End ID]
#Miles can handle horrifying truths about the death of his father and the nature of his guardian#but he draws the line at questioning his sexuality!#also. serious moment for a second#I think we focus a lot on moments of queer discovery stemming from attraction to the same sex#like that being the moment of panicked “oh no I'm different”. Which makes sense and is valid!#But I think it's also compelling to explore the opposite but similar twist in your gut that is:#oh my god I don't feel anything in this situation where others do. oh no something something is wrong with me#and this is something that gay and lesbian people have in common with ace and aro people!#I feel such tenderness and kinship to everyone who has been in that situation#and it's why i will never understand why aspec folks are pitted against gay or lesbian representation#we are drawn to the same characters bc we had such similar experiences and isn't that lovely that we can find solace in media?#so NO FIGHTING. We should all be BEST FRIENDS. my brothers in arms. I'd die for you.#all that is to SAY: I personally read edgeworth as asexual and like demiromantic/gay.#but YOU can read him as just gay in this comic if you want <3#Also. i just thought it would be funny if it took a lesbian to make him realize he didn't like women#I think he would have no clue how to react to chappell roan. Same vibe as giving a victorian orphan a baja blast and a crunchwrap supreme#ok sorry shutting up now#ace attorney#ace attorney comic#ace attorney trilogy#gyakuten saiban#phoenix wright#naruhodo ryuichi#miles edgeworth#mitsurugi reiji#maya fey#ayasato mayoi#my art
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i CANNOT stress enough how incompatible the themes of these two pieces of media are. i promise my media literacy ability is actually good im well aware that these character mappings are absolutely nothing. that said. play with me in this space. in this sopping wet miserable space. its bad luck to kill a piou piou

original screenshots (and hypnosis 1904) for reference
#'oh but both of them are about isolation' NOT THE SAME KIND OF ISOLATION THEY AINT#in stars and time#isat#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#lucabyteart#sifloop#I SUPPOSE. THEYRE DANCING THEYRE HUGGING ITS FINE. IT COULD MEAN NOTHING. THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019) HAS THEMES. OF AN ILK. I WOULD SAY.#anyway yes these r redraws of scenes from robert eggers' The Lighthouse. a film i would consider diametrically thematically opposed to isat#something something ✨ You're fond of my crab arent you stardust?#yeah thats the best i got here. im just having fun with pictures. this does straight up mean nothing. like at all. theres like 3 things#that you could draw as parallels and theyre Very strained. its like 1. preoccupation w the ocean (but in very different ways)#2. both are abt isolation (but in very different ways)#3. wanting to fuck a bright source of light. sorry i mean the third one is only a parallel if you have a specific reading of Tom#that is spoilers and may or may not be true. also theyre both in black and white. this means nothing#(now. if anything. if you wanted to map isat onto an eggers' movie id say its nosferatu. like. it at least has someone calling out to the#forces unknown for a companion & being accepted and loved despite literally embracing the physical embodiment of your shame....#that said if youve watched nosferatu you also know this mapping is utterly nuts. im sending isabeau into the catacombs to go burn the rats#everyones vampire aus are cute but whos out here coding loop as count orlok hm? . and odile as willem dafoe i guess?#this falls apart quickly and is not a serious suggestion i just want to point out the bar for 'being more relevant to isat than#the lighthouse' is is like. a VERY low bar.)#anyway made sif more visibly afrocarribean since if im drawing them realistically im not making them particularly white passing.#ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN IM DRAWING OVER ROBERT PATTERSON OF ALL PEOPLE.... LMAO...
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pelican town, ‘72
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#grandpa#mister qi#mr. qi#idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin#i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there#(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever#’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation#and was originally just a regular person#but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color#if u read tag essays tho consider this:#qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner)#wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build#a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever#but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever#and obv he doesn’t#in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will#because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever#but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf#and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever#smile. heart#sobbing
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Moon was never the one to use more words than needed.
Short, restrained and stingy. It didn't take long to get used to it. Truly, his soft glowing presence meant more to you than he'd ever know.
Sometimes, in the most deafening of nights, you had the honour to hold your breath and listen. Every syllable falling out of his voicebox left a strange weight on your shoulders you couldn't quite decipher. Yet, you treated his offerings like gold.
But mostly, he preferred to mimic the pale celestial body he represents. The silent, but attentive observer, always burning a hole in your back with its eyes.
You weren't alarmed. You were its favourite star after all.
Yet, secretly, it was something you deeply disliked about him. Part of you scraping at the back of your throat every time the room falls silent. And it's not that the calm bothered you. No. No.
You just wish you could hear his voice more often.
His raspy, rumbling tone scratching your brain so nicely, so right, your head snapping in its direction every damn time. Please, just one more word. The night is so much more beautiful when the moon is generous.
Sun said he wasn't always like this. Lullabies and storytellings, book readings and games, little ones falling asleep so swiftly under the gentle melody. Memories stored far away, tarnished with sorrow.
You wondered if there was anything to tug at the strings of his past self. To get him to talk more. To get him to want to talk more.
You wish you could take your words back. But the cost was too high, for him and for you.
...
Your hand cups the side of his faceplate, his voice, seeping into the air in endless vows and pleas, tirelessly infinite like the night itself. For the first time since you knew him, your ears could have him in his full glory.
You wish it wasn't so full of despair. So full of grief. So full of fear.
His hands cradle your body, so cold and sharp, like the gentlest of daggers. Your life spilling onto the bouncy floors in swirls of red.
You can't bring yourself to care. Your eyelids feel heavy, but his voice clings to your very soul, firmly holding onto you, snatching you from death's embrace. His voice, cradling you better than the fluffiest of graves.
His tears burn your cold face like acid. Your mouth moves as you choke on metallic tanginess, the words bleed onto your soaked shirt in language no one but ghosts can understand.
Please, don't cry. I love you. I love you. Your voice is so beautiful.
For once, you're the silent observer. For once, he's the one begging you to speak. He will not ask for forgiveness. Just keep your eyes on me.
Please, just one more word.
The sight of him, your world, fades into darkness. Your ribs nearly crack under the suffocating weight of his prayers. His voicebox whines and screeches, words inaudible but his.
It sounds like a song.
His last gift. Your last lullaby.
What a lovely sound to fall asleep to.
#moon fnaf save me moon fnaf#xit shh#i love reading the dialogue from your perspective first and then reading it from Moon's perspective#his song echoing between the stars#he never got to hear you sing back#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#moon x reader#moondrop x reader#i thinkkkk i should start tagging these crumbs with a separate tag but idk if they can even be counted as anything
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Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.
When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”
Diavolo responds:
“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.
Along with how Diavolo describe his father.
It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.




Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.
Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.
His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.

The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.


Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.
#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us.#There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts).#Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself:#“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.”#A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood.#How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing.#Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others.#Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened.#IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith.#It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden.#I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person.#Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated.#Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!!#I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!!#Obey Me#Obey Me Spoiler#Obey Me Nightbringer#OMSWD#Obey Me Diavolo#Diavolo#MaddyMajolish#Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts
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in shambles over lucanis' big ol' 🥺eyes while asking rook if they can come with him to plan caterina's funeral and the barest pretense that it's because spite might pull something. spite, who we have no reason to infer from how that goes down says or does anything during that whole thing. I do so love the consistency of the background hum of 'hm. you know lucanis perhaps the real problem here isn't so much the demon thing but a lot more about the life experience you've had up until now that makes you think wanting a friend to come along to help you bury a loved one is something you're not allowed (nor frankly know how) to ask for'
*agonized rook voice* LUCANIS lucanis you must understand I would go with you into hell itself. I will live in your heart, die in your lap and be buried in your eyes. and moreover I will come with you to your grandma's funeral arrangements fuck sorry about your life 😬
#to be fair my rook also has a big 'I cannot ask anyone for anything for my own sake ever' problem so look who's talking rye i guess lol#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#damn. I read through that scene again just because I love much ado and the places benedick uses 'thou' vs 'you' in that convo...#yeah okay so that's making me a little bit insane huh. that's a trick of nuance around intimacy you really can't pull off in english today#same with the 'I'd eat his heart in the market place' scene -- 'I do love nothing in the world so well as YOU; is not that strange'#and from there the thous start flowing in in elation haha. which I suppose is also very informative as to her reactions#even as she stays in the polite form the whole time haha
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hi sorry in advance if this is weird but i couldn't for the life of me figure out who machete was reminding me of and just now i figured it out - surku the dog from the moomins. can't remember enough to tell how accurate that is personality wise but something about the image of a distressed pointy-nosed dog shivering in a coat... plus ne on molemmat ahdistuneita queer ikoneita
I love Surku! Surku must be protected at all costs.



If you ask me, he's even more distressed in the comics.
I keep him on my fridge door as well.
But now that we're on the topic of Moomin characters, I must add that I see Machete in various Fillyjonks a lot. The short story Fillyjonk who believed in disasters is one of my favorite pieces of literature ever, when I first read it it shook me to my core, I still revisit it on yearly basis. For someone who seemed so wild and free spirited by nature, Tove Jansson did remarkable job at catching and depicting the essence of anxiety, uncertainty, vague sadness and irrational fears. At least in my opinion.

#loving the last moment Finnish jumpscare by the way#answered#anonymous#in the comics Surku only likes cats and is ashamed of it#I don't mean to theorize but surely there's no deeper meaning to that or anything#coming from a queer author#all iterations of moomin are wonderful I'm recommending them to literally everyone#but read fillyjonk who believed in disasters if you can#it has moments that are very Machete-esque#everyone loves Little My and Moomin and Snufkin and I get that but man Fillyjonks just hit different#also Sniff my beloved you deserved better
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Re-reading thanks to Vol 1 being released is so much fun because:
‘That stupid dragon and that paralyzed son of a bitch. Where did all of them go?’
Did he seriously call Raon a stupid dragon? Oh boy, Raon would not like that
It seems like Cale's inner monologue knows no mercy
Raon? Has been called dumb *and* stupid
On and Hong? Nosy punks
Alberu? Has been called a wide variety of names ("He had an extremely useful worker, no, hyung-nim" << I'm still not over this one)
Even Lee Soo Hyuk, who seems to get nothing but praise from him got called 'kind of slow' once
And don't get me started on Choi Han, the amount of flattery he gets is directly proportional to the amount of digs Cale throws at him in his mind
No one is safe from this man's inner monologue
#my progress reading the series was like:#Cale that's not how you talk about a crown prince#CALE THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TALK ABOUT A CROWN PRINCE#CALE OMG#he's lucky Alberu loves him or else#Eruhaben probably also got caught in the crossfire#but I can't think of one at the top of my head#not using the ss translation bc I'm not sure if we're allowed to post anything from it#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of count’s family
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#rufus shinra#ffedit#ffgraphics#ffgifs#final fantasy vii#*ff7#ff7#advent children#quote is from the kids are alright btw#i read it and i was like. dang. that's just a description of his face in remake in his intro#i spent too much time on this. anything for you mr president#i do love that in rebirth we do get some looks at him being in fact fazed#if for only a moment of him showing his frustration/whatever
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Read dungeon meshi up to vol.8 so far, so here you go Can't stop taking back the (vol.8) book and looking through the pages again and again and I'm wondering why does Mithrun just... grab Not even to use his magic, he just... grabs...
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#kabru#I know I don't have all the infos yet but yeah sir are you ok#does he even actually see anything#don't answer that I'll get to this when reading the rest#love him though I love elves so so so much whatever the story or media theyre automatically blorbos#and tbh the elven crew is part of why I started dungeon meshi#0 regrets everyting is fantastic from all the designs to the storytelling#going insane abt elf senshi as well#might draw more when I'm rested
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I love Vulcans we need to get more into the emotional lives of Vulcans without imposing Human standards onto them. "The way you feel is wrong/repressive because it's not the way it's "supposed" to be from my perspective as an alien called Human" is boring to me especially when it's treated as correct. I wanna know how the aliens feel about their alien way of life. Vulcans are so interesting to me when written AS aliens and not as analogous to repressed Humans. I think about Tuvok's description of attachment to his family and how that isn't the emotion 'love' but something else, something that he feels no shame about having and sees as normal, as naturally Vulcan and I love it and I love it because there aren't any Humans there to go "Um actually checkmate you Vulcan s.o.b - that's emotion!" and he isn't being influenced by anything. These are his authentic thoughts. He sees his children, his family, as part of him. They were at times illogical, incomprehensible, and it was extremely rewarding to be in their lives. He thinks about them every day. They were well behaved. As teens they were contemptuous of authority and convinced of their own superiority. His youngest son loved one 200 verse story so he sang it to him. He'd rather die than betray his wife even in spirit. He's incomplete without them. It's obvious through Tuvok that Vulcan life is not inherently devoid of pleasure, comfort, or love and thus Human life (I think) should not be portrayed as inherently having something greater, deeper, more meaningful. I'm not talking here of society but of...emotional life. Interiority. There's this sense that all Vulcans are the same and miserable for it. That they hold themselves back and are indistinguishable and antagonistic to the self, repressed and wrong. That to be Vulcan is to suffer endlessly and Humans are all about Freedom Man and I don't know, I like that Tuvok's existence sort of challenges this as much as I acknowledge that Vulcan society is in fact repressive and unwelcoming to those who don't fit neatly into it. I'm not saying Vulcan society is a utopia, I'm questioning the perception of Vulcan emotional control - that way of life - as being inherently bad, devoid, or lacking. That Vulcans walk around with 'empty cups' and are only deluding themselves that to be that way is good. If only, Humanity moans, they could taste how delicious life could be! Tuvok is an average Vulcan. He does not struggle with emotion, he is not mixed species, he was not raised atypically, and yet he has a family he cares about and a wife he's loyal to and friends he values and none of these things seem to be Un-Vulcan to him. If Vulcan life was truly devoid of love and care, Tuvok wouldn't think of his family. They're not here, so why bother? When his pon farr came, he'd be trying to find the most compatible mate rather than risking his life by trying to meditate through it out of loyalty to T'Pel. T'Pel would also have just given Tuvok up for dead instead of waiting and his children wouldn't have traveled all the way to the most holy temple on the planet to say prayers for his safe return. I think these things are interesting and I wish they'd been explored more. The fact that caring about your family, caring about your friends, is not Un-Vulcan. The fact that Tuvok at no point longs for Humanity, sees nothing better or of interest to him in it. (Even in his teenage rebellion he only says he's sorry he was born Vulcan which reads less as Vulcan v Human and more like 'I hate this goddamn family' ykwim?). I want to know more about how Vulcans interact with each other, how they care for one another, what it means and what it's like to be Vulcan in more of an everyday way rather than what it means to be Vulcan vs Human.
#Vulcan emotional control WOULD be bad for Humans. But they're aliens. So.#I wrote this off the cuff v_v sorry if it just rambles in circles#I just don't like when Vulcans are written to be 'like us but missing out on something beautiful'#I think of people who don't live anything close to my life's experience. Are they lacking in something? Are they not living a 'full' life?#I'm not neurotypical - am I missing something essential to living a 'real' life because of that?#some people don't experience empathy - are they lesser because of it? No#I love my fellow man I guess. I think maybe in the far far future I'd hope that being just like me [human = neurotypical white american]#isn't a prerequisite for friendship and love and maybe we can just have harmless and beautiful differences#I wonder what's so good - INHERENTLY good about having emotion. What does it mean to be good? What does it mean to live 'fully'? As a Human#As an Alien? What does it means to have a life? Be alive? What's love and why is it important? What do these concepts mean to an Alien?#In Star Trek Voyager Ayala's son and Tuvok's son both pray for their father to come back home - is the Vulcan prayer lesser?#All this to say that I /AM/ going to make my own no-emotions aliens to put in star filled oyster - you just know I'm going to do that#there was no other option for me it was written in stone from oyestar's conception and I hope you'll all read the story#I eventually write with them even though you'll no doubt raise your brow and look me in the eye and go 'oh big surprise the Vulcan guy wrot#this. Oh hey look everyone the autistic Vulcan guy is musing about emotions what a surprise' and I'll be tugging at my shirt collar#like a cartoon character and gulping comedically and sweating bullets#Literally as I wrote that last sentence I realized I'm dissociating I'm going to go eat ice
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#past few days my brain lives separately from me ehehghe#this is a good feeling but your attention just don't concentrate on anything properly#you just read watch draw something in a prostration even if want to get back to things you want or need to do#pfffhghtht I hope everyone is having a wonderful week day night evening sleep or whatever you have right now#I wanna talk but I also understand I don't have powers to talk#Just wanna say that I fricking love people I hope you all get your wishes accomplished
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I've been thinking a lot lately
ref to the quote under the cut
under the cut for maybe some people that would like to try and guess *shruggs*
#fanart#my art#sketch#crk#crk fanart#shadow milk cookie#cookie run fanart#I'm literally wasting my phone's battery by playing the ep again but I can't help it#I love the music in there especially in that one scene right before PV is awakened it's so... interesting#I've also been thinking about how this quote should probably fit sm as well and I just like how it sounds#back when I first read the AMA I didn't know English very well and I won't say I know it well now but at least I can talk and read it bette#and the way it sounds makes me think every time#I do like ep's ending but some of the other scenes caught my attention more like sm's curiosity about the soul gem being his downfall#corrupted or not he's still a Fount of Knowledge and that's an interesting detail as Vanilla did the same with trying to figure sm out late#before being awakened too! like those too ARE two sides of the same coin in sense that truly fits their soulstone#but in ep 8 specifically it shines the brightest as we see both get more serious in it getting new sprites and all#anyway I've just been thinking#crk is like a meditation thing for me as I don't expect anything from me drawing it#isat is a bit overwhelming everytime I post anything and I have no idea how much is it my skill and how much is it isat being a small fando#but going in dissapointed beforehand means it can't dissapoint you twice! so I win this one#writing all that took me more effort than sketching and putting up the alphabet just to be extremely close to the norm#artists on tumblr#digital art
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clegan drabble — chance encounter, first meeting, modern au
By the third time the guy makes his way over to the bar, Gale has to really work on not throwing his Coke bottle to the liquor shelf and start breaking stuff.
”Seriously man, are you sure we don’t-” ”No, we have not met before,” he responds as politely as he can through his teeth, “and no, I do not need company. And no, I will not go home with you. Excuse me.”
The guy’s drunken gaze falls to his lips as he talks, making Gale suspect he has not heard a single word he has said all night despite repeating himself over and over. The glassy eyes eventually turn back to his, and the man licks his lips as his expression morphs into a what he surely thinks is a seductive smirk.
”Come on, baby. Humor me a bit. Let my buy you a drink.” Gale exhales in frustration. The ick he gets from this man is ridiculous. ”I told you already, I don’t need a drink, I’d really just like to-”
He stops abruptly when the man takes a tight hold of his bicep. ”Hey, could you-” ”This hard-to-get act is getting old now, gorgeous.” ”I’m not-” The grip gets tighter, another hand reaches for his thigh, and Gale is about to get violent despite not wanting to get in trouble at their frequent spot when-
”Hi Buck, there you are! I’m real sorry I left you here all by yourself for so long, the queue to the toilet was insane.” A pleasant, carefree voice comes up from behind him. He turns to find a gorgeous smile on a gorgeous face he doesn’t recognize. The man’s smile is tense on a futher look, though, and his eyes are questioning as he lays a careful hand on Gale’s shoulder, clearly ready to pull back immediately if he gets any indication that the action is unwanted.
Gale exhales quietly again before covering the hand now on his shoulder with his own, immediately catching on. ”It’s okay.” It’s easy to slide away from the icky man’s grasp now, his surprise making him loosen his hold on Gale. Gale tries to avoid looking at him and accidentally leans closer towards the other man, his aura calming despite towering over Gale’s propotions in every direction. The man doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling from under his curls. ”Ready to go home, doll?”
Gale nods immediately. The drunk dude has been looking between them for a bit before his eyes land on the taller man. ”I’m real sorry mate, I didn’t realize he was-” The man’s face changes immediately when he looks away from Gale to the other guy, the youthful happiness turning into coldness that makes him look mature and strick. ”Yeah, whatever. Go home, sober up and learn some fucking manners, you fucking jackass.” With that, he’s gently leading Gale to the door.
He doesn’t let go until they are out of the other guy’s view, but he does drop his hand immediately as the door closes behind them. It’s probably the chill of the autumn evening and not the departure of the solid body against him that’s making Gale feel cold suddenly but it’s still unpleasent. ”Sorry,” the man says almost frantically, ”I didn’t mean to intrude but you were looking pretty miserable before he even showed up and when he got his hands on you-” The man sighs and shakes his head. ”Didn’t look like you were happy with it, somehow, so I just wanted to check on you. No clue where the fake boyfriend thing came from though, I’m so sorry if I-”
”Don’t be,” Gale says firmly, and the man immediately relaxes again, ”I don’t know why I froze like that, it was nice someone else de-escalated it like that. My friend went to argue with his boyfriend on the phone like 30 minutes ago and never showed up again so I was pretty pissed anyway.” The man nods, and the warmth Gale feels under his intense gaze shouldn’t feel this exciting, surely.
”Well then…” The guy lifts his arm and scratches the back of his neck, ”I don’t wanna take more of you’re time, I hope you’re oka-” Gale doesn’t think, in an unusual manner to him, when he interrupts him. ”I, eh, actually… I’d love to thank you somehow? Maybe buy you some late night dinner?” The man’s face lights up again, and Gale feels silly in a way he doesn’t often do.
”I’d love that. I’ll go tell my friends I’m leaving and meet you up here after?” ”Sounds good.” They stare at each other for a beat despite the words, and Gale swears he’s not blushing when he sticks his hand out jerkily. ”Gale Cleven.” The man smirks, his eyes turning to lines as it overcomes his face. ”John Egan,” he introduces himself as he reaches to shake his hand, ”but you can call me Bucky.”
#clegan#buck x bucky#mota#writing#buck#bucky#i’ve been feeling so discouraged with writing anything lately#but i hope you like this whatever it is#i know my stuff isn’t anything special and esp considering this fandom’s insane levels of talent and creativity and skill#which is no one’s issue but mine like literally skill issue#but idk i almost deactivated but i love reading all the talented people’s stuff so this is me trying to move on from self-hatred lmao#instead of retreating i’m trying something new to get excited about writing maybe i’ll end up with something good at some point 🤞🏼
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