#I LIKE MAKING GIFTS FOR PEOPLE LET ME BE
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radio im gonna take a guess and assume your love language is gift giving
OKAY. WHATEVER. MAYBE
#.emails#I LIKE MAKING GIFTS FOR PEOPLE LET ME BE#my actual love language is acts of service if i could do everything for my girlfriend forever i would#but i like giving gifts too like yayay heres things for you!!!!!
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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I love these lines so much I can not even express it
#something about i sleep through the night and i go where im wanted#like aah🥹#not staying up being sad and chasing people who clearly don't want to talk to me#and just being with people who genuinely and openly like me#it feels like a bigger achievement than it is maybe cause it was so fucking hard but i think im there now#and i love the way she's like yeah ok maybe i am too much maybe i was obsessed and clingy or whatever but so what#having the ability to love someone deeply is a gift it's a superpower not everyone can do it so fuck everyone#who makes us sensitive people bad about it#also like yeahhh it only gets bad when we stop putting ourself first and let someone walk all over us#because we're too scared to be alone and lose them so we keep dragging it#AAAAH i know im like a year late but i love maisie sooo much#by we i mean maisie and me and all sensitive people out there who don't know how to be chill and casual btw i love u all🥹#maisie peters
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I drew another Chara- living with the Dreemurrs edition
"The King and Queen treated the human child as their own. The underground was filled with hope."
I don't like this as much as the last one but oh well... I ended up rambling a huge amount in the tag, so if you want details and headcanons about the actual drawing again, you'll have to look pretty far down this time, sorry (Also, I ran out of tags after a while. Tumblr is tired of me, lol. I might reblog this more tags later if I remember what I was going to say.)
#chara dreemurr#undertale#next up: the narrator#(I know that's not a title they receive in game like the other two but... just let me have this)#The future monarch of monsterkind. The prophecized saviour. One of the most important people in the underground. An angel apparently.#Chara puts all of their effort into appearing perfect in both appearance and manners. They're representing all the underground now and they#don't want to let down the king and queen! (Plus Chara's scared of getting kicked out or worse should they ever disappoint their family)#But... they're gonna save everyone! They're gonna make sure the monsters win this war! It's their destiny! The prophecy says so!#(... That's why all this happened to them. Chara sees themself as smarter more careful and maturer than their peers... because of the way#what a strange child...#hey look! I did a thing#my art#they were raised on the surface. They believe they have the skills to lead monsterkind to victory because of what they suffered.#Almost like they were trained or led to this moment. Like they don't have a choice. But this makes all their pain worth it right?#It was always for this fated grand purpose right? That's why they hate feeling robbed of their ''purpose''! Might be part of why they hate#determination! What do you mean you can defy fate? What do you mean things could've been different? That I didnt have to go through this?#that it wasn't written in the stars?... Oh shit I forgot to talk about the drawing!#The little bunches are supposed to look like monster ears. Especially with the monster soul locket. They're doing a curtsy which they alway#upon meeting someone new and introducing themself as the future monarch of monsterkind. Calling whoever they're talking to sir or ma'am.#Wanted to make it a curtsy/bow combination but I couldn't draw that. They have a little golden flower clip to pull their hair back and#they gave themself the belt and flouncy petticoat. They iron and polish everything they wear literally everytime they go outside.#Chara wears heeled boots whenever possible because they really hate being so short...they somehow think it makes them look weak.#The blushes and lashes are make-up! Chara wants to look perfect after all! They also really really hate their red spots/birthmarks and will#cover them up whenever possible...and they're wearing their crucifix again. Of course they are! Through it all they'll always keep#their faith. ....Until Chara finds themself a figurehead of an entirely new religion. I think they're...newly 11 here. (Second year in the#underground. 10 when they fell. 13 when they did.) Comfortable (comfortable as they can be) with their new family but not yet desperate#to get them out as soon as possible. Might not even be working with Gaster yet. But Asriel already gave Chara their locket.#I definitely think it was...a while before Chara really thought of returning the favour. Not that they don't utterly shower#Asriel and their parents in other gifts or affection! But they're just not one to make... promises of forever lightly. Especially because#Chara isn't really planning on staying around for a long time at all! They will break the barrier like prophecized then climb the mountain
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my (divorced) parents have both asked me what i want for my birthday. i'm tempted to tell them the same thing and see which one does it better.
#i hate coming up with gift ideas man just donate to my favorite charity and stop bothering me#but it's just occurred to me i could be like 'a cinnamon roll.' and then see what happens#downside: my mom at least would probably try to deliver it to me in person the day of which means i'd have to talk to someone#on my birthday. a thing i hate to do#upside: potentially two free cinnamon rolls!!!#my posts#also technically my parents are double-divorced now so my mom‚ dad/stepmom‚ and stepdad could all separately#get me cinnamon rolls. man people talk a lot about how children of divorce get twice as many christmas presents but who cares#about that. let's talk cinnamon rolls#i need my parents and stepparents to get married and divorced enough times for a baker's dozen#trying to collect the whole set over here. need to strategize how to blow up my dad's marriage#and how to make my mom and stepdad get married to their respective partners and then divorce them
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hiccup and astrid only works for me if they're written as foils. Hiccup is a soft hearted pacifist who has to learn to make tough calls. Astrid is a hard core warrior who has to learn compassion. they both admire the other for their strengths, and by some combination of striving to be more like each other, and hitting the breaks when one of them goes too far in one direction, they manage to meet in the middle and work really well together
#astrid makes sure Hiccup doesn't let people get away with misusing his trust#and Hiccup makes sure Astrid doesn't burn every bridge ever over issues that could be solved#httyd#vitpost#hiccstrid#im watching the show again and I straight up can't get over how much better it handles their dynamic compared to the movies#could it be that I spent more time with the show versions of them in between waiting for the movies#and so got attached to that characterization which led me to misinterpret the original depiction of their relationship? maybe.#but also not rly because the dynamic im talking about is very much present in the first film and then further supported#by the Gift of the Night Fury short#so really it just feels like the second film didn't rly know what to do with Astrid and kind of sidelined her#and then by the third movie they'd forgotten her personality too#They're Cute in the movies though I'll give them that. but that does not satisfy the aroace viewer :)#I need them to Make Sense too
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who it’s for and I say it’s for me and the immediate reaction is “you should sell it” yeah… let me spend at least a week’s worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a £2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever 👍🏻
#i say maybe i did this to myself because historically i have gifted most of the items i have knitted#because the venn diagram of things i like to knit vs things i like to wear is actually 2 circles that don’t touch#i looove making hats. i HATE wearing hats#also i love making baby clothes but i don’t have a baby and i’m not going to have a baby#however lately i’ve gotten really into knitting socks and i really like to wear knit socks. it’s like the most affordable way for me to get#quality wool socks. and i’m going to be watching my shows anyway. the time will pass anyways#but it feels like people are deliberately making me feel weird for wanting to make stuff for myself and not profit off my hobby#and like i’ve made 3 pairs of socks to gift already because ‘tis the season or whatever. and i’ve started another pair for a friend whose#birthday is in january#genuinely it’s very weird to hear ‘you should sell it’ or ‘oh i want one!!’ about an item i’m making for myself. after 18 years of gifting#or donating basically everything i’ve ever knitted. like i’ve gifted 2 double bed size crochet blankets#everyone i’ve known who’s had a baby has gotten a cardigan or a blanket or hats or all of the above#i spent october making poppies for the church. i’ve never even stepped foot in my village church mind you. my neighbour asked me to help#do you know what i own? that i’ve knitted? a pair of mittens and a pair of socks.#you want some socks from me? alright. that’s anywhere between £6 and £10 for the yarn and that’s optimistic#i’m currently making myself a pair with hand-dyed yarn that cost me £18 including delivery#the needles i use cost me more than £10. time… let’s call it 24 hours per sock#i don’t know anyone with 18 years experience who makes minimum wage so let’s call it an even 600 for my time. tbh#DO YOU SEE how this isn’t a viable side hussle??? i physically cannot charge what my socks are worth#if i like you and you’re willing to wait; socks are free or cost whatever the yarn costs#if i don’t like or know you venmo me £620. and you’re still going to have to wait.#just pisses me OFF when people suggest i make an etsy page and they say it like they’re doing me a favour or giving me great financial#advice. like you’ve seen me sitting here all evening and i’m barely done with the cuff.. do you actually think selling these for £20 maximum#is going to help me out. i’m not selling them. they’re FOR me. i’m making them because i want them#also when my friend’s family was saying this to me and i was like ‘well the yarn cost a fiver’ and they got quiet and i was thinking yeah…#a fiver is the maximum you cheapskates would pay isn’t it. a fiver is cheap sock yarn bought on sale. or yarn that probably isn’t actually#good for socks. like don’t presume to give me financial advice when you’re this out of touch with the market please#next person who asks when i’m going to start selling socks is getting this whole rant in entirety tbh i don’t care anymore#personal#edited to add that i didn’t even get into etsy fees or whether i would even be noticed among the mountain of dropshippers LOL
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This fits you
i honestly need one of these
theres a pack of girls that come by the store every so often to watch me work in the frame shop while giggling
like im a pet store fish
or a lizard
#i once got referred to as ‘the cute little guy in framing’ when they were asking a coworker when i worked next#the frame shop has a huge open door and people just sit and watch like. Often#makes a mans nervous i tell ya hwhat#people do try to feed me though#like#often#literally get offered lunch for doing stuff on the spot#people bring me back coffee while they wait for their order to get done#got a chipotle gift card as a tip once#OH YEAH THERES A GUY THAT TIPS ME IF I LET HIM STAND THERE AND WATCH#bangs out a $20 and just#stands theres#and watches#also the amount of ladies that pray for me is substantial#something about me just makes women want to pray
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TAZ Ethersea my beloved.....
#was thinking of all the god stuff in c 3 and for some reason it just made me remember how much I LOVED griffin's portrayal of gods#and magic in that world they all built together--#magic being drawn from these ancient 'relics' that are just...the bones and corpses of dead gods--#everything starts with the end of the world. but the world has ended before. over and over. and continues to because its a vicious#cycle. and people are too dependent on magic and a 'god' to let go of it--even when it keeps polluting the world#'gods' just being the survivors of the previous world that didn't make it. the last remnants of a world that is completely alien now#the 'gods' who tried to stop a never ending cycle from continuing to corrupt the world around them. the 'god' who decided that they#would still gift the people of this new world magic regardless even when they know it means the beginning of the end#all the fascinating different factions and how they tried to deal with a world that was falling part and how you rebuild after#the people who saw what their god had done and decided to walk away and abandon everything they know. to try again and start over--#build something better than the kingdom that had forsaken them--#the kingdom on the plateau who were very religious and believed they could 'ascend' to this other world to escape the end. the way#they took everyone with them regardless of whether or not they wanted to leave that plane. those who tried to stay behind lingering#as these ghosts and spirits. trying so hard to reconnect to the world they were torn from#the grand magical city of hominime managing to escape with their god's blessing. but their getaway is also ultimately what dooms#everyone else they left behind--#the CAMBRIA arc!!#brother seldom and all the religious trauma that went into that ending#this got too long but. i have so many feelings about ethersea id love to see more of it someday--#the worldbuilding is just so fascinating to me#I dont know where i was really going with this but like. even when we see some of the awful things Pelor has done. There are all these#other facets to him. He genuinely cares for mortals just as he cares for his immortal family. Ayden being proof that he can#change and wants to change and being this side of him that still has so much idealism and hope and has not yet been hardened#by the world#Benevolence Adventure Zone however i would fist fight in the ocean--
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💫.
#megaman starforce#is so…. easy….#it makes me a lil sad#I’ll never be that kid who spent years trying to beat the game and growing up with it steadily again#I don’t really know what point I’m trying to make w this#I guess I’m just mourning my childhood and youth/the naivety innocence simplicity of the past#I guess it’s just bittersweet to look back and see how much I’ve changed in 10 years#we’re barely the same person anymore-we don’t even have the same name#it’s just this love for this moderately unpopular niche within a niche game that connects us#I still think the game aesthetics and setting are the coolest fucking thing on earth ok#on another note the story in sf1 is just so peak#ryucoded af I really did not expect that. kid me wouldn’t have related but the present me sure does#it’s funny… returning to a childhood game-a gift that my kid self gives me to in the future-and finding myself in it too#it reminds me a lot of the things I used to love/I still love them but it’s been a while since I’ve thought abt it#I was pretty into Danny phantom too growing up#I really loved stories of heroism and kid heroes having to hide their identities#actually I was huge into dp I watched it every night without fail#if I had found the dp fandom earlier I would most definitely be a different person#kid heroes-> it’s kinda messing me up actually oh man geo is ELEVEN 😭he really is just a kid…#I too used to be 11 like him and had childish dreams about being a hero#guess you lose the magic and delusions of grandeur when you get older and reality sets in#another reason I’m glad I played mmsf as a kid#I’m trying desperately to find the mmsf amv and let’s play that I used to watch as a kid but ough#I found some but not all…. was it removed…?#sad 😔😔it’s a part of my childhood that will only exist in my memories I suppose#ough at the end of it all I just sincerely wish this game had gotten more love#fandom so small I can’t even find people to talk to#if anything I’m glad that at the very least the story was wrapped up nicely by sf3#and the fact that it’s the last game before their hiatus just makes it slightly funny. I still mourn sf4 tho.#I really hope for a starforce legacy collection-!!!
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not a fandom post but i just saw one of my best friends (home for break from uni) and i gave him his holiday present and i jokingly went “sorry it’s not as good as last year’s” and he was just like no no no you gave me The Perfect Present last year, like there is no topping that ever for anyone and you don’t have to apologise because i get to live knowing i got literally the Best Gift and everything else is just everything else
and now i’m emotional in the club
#west text!#i did put a LOT of effort into his gift last year#like tbh i don’t think i could give anyone a better gift#but to hear that HE thinks that#i hope he knows he’s one of my favourite people ever idk#such good besties that i had to sign a release form#bc he’s in a documentary and he spent so much time with me they needed to make sure that they could use footage with me in it#el oh el#actually he’s sending me the b roll#professionally shot video of me fixing his hair ig#ANYWAY#i’m emo and had to let the tumblr know#if anyone wants to know what The Present was#happy to tell u#but i’m not just gonna go through the trouble of explaining it if it’s nothing anyone is interested in yk
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when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends
#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes#while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR#DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT#btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot#where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head#i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to#and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough#i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes#bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain#so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes#all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge#another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen#which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them#i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought#i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times#but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control#STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD#IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE#.bdo
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looks around awkwardly
I know I loathe valentine's day with every fibre of my being, but,,,
read the tags of the original post for context, but only if you're prepared for a shit ton of awkward embarrassment
#capri rambles#I'm 99% sure this is a weird platonic interest. no I am not proposing. or confessing ''love''. or doing anything stupid like that#I will simply be giving them. a gift. of some sort. as I am only interested in friendship#an appreciation gift perhaps...#it's definitely going to be art. I won't post it publicly right away#I think what I'll do. is make random gift art for other people and post it with them so nobody gets suspicious#yes I am too shy and awkward to let anyone know who it is#mutual I'm pretty sure you'll see this. and you'll Know all this internal turmoil is about you once- I mean- if you get the gift#dearest mutual please know I am a coward and a fool. please don't get mad at me for my shitfucked brain making me feel this way#I'm angry and disappointed with myself already as is. this is so stupid. um anyway#I won't be doing this on the day itself I already have a plan for that and that plan is being bitter about my ex
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I would absolutely love for at least one of my friend groups to completely go all out for me for my birthday. The way girls at school get huge sashes and gift baskets from their friends. I've never really had that. I've never really had a group of friends band together to do something super special for my birthday aside from getting on call with my two best besties to play roblox. Which i guess is a bit disheartening because I've organized stuff like this for several people. I've put together calls so we could all sing happy birthday to someone and celebrate with them. Hell, not even a birthday celebration, but i once organized a going away party with my entire friend group for one of our friends who was moving to another state, because i loved them i wanted to them to know they'd be loved and missed by us. It would be nice to be on the receiving end of that but also it feels really silly to just Ask my friends to plan something special for me cause 1. Those are supposed to be surprises 2. I know it is My birthday and I have every right want to be treated like the center of the universe but I still feel very selfish asking people Hey can you make this day all about me and put effort into it please. Also it feels less genuine when people have to be Asked to celebrate me yknow. Idk maybe the realization that I'm turning 18 years old is finally fully kicking and that's what's got me down lately but man. For my birthday I really just want to know that I'm loved and wanted and not a nuisance that pisses people off every time I open my mouth
#Also and this is where I get really annoying but most of the time I don't get gifts from people who aren't my family#My last birthday i got gifts from two people out of my several friends and friend groups who really didn't do much#Other than wish me happy birthday or my two friends who always get on roblox with me#Which is also disheartening because i try to make gifts for everyone for their birthdays and christmas#If it's not something huge like the animatic and the animation meme and the attempted pmv I made then it's a thoughtful art piece#And if it's not that then it's at least singing them happy birthday and giving them a hug and letting them know I love them#Which I'm not gonna stop doing and I will never stop doing#I have too much love in my heart to ignore someone's birthday out of spite and I do not make things expecting something in return#Even if someone never ever gives me a birthday gift I will still give something to them every year because I don't want to be bitter#But I guess it just gets tiring after a while#Trying to do everything for everyone while barely anyone puts in the same effort for me#Again I'm not gonna ask anyone for a gift cause 1. Selfish 2. Disingenuous if it needed to be asked for#I guess I just wish more people valued me enough that they'd already do all this stuff for me#Make me gifts and treat me like I matter the most#Because I know i try to do that for everyone else#Idk I still feel selfish saying all this but also it's My 18th Birthday I think I deserve to be a little selfish#Man I need to go to bed midnight is always when I get ungodly sad over things I have no control over#harry osborn or whatever the fuck the new generation says /j
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i wish i could be a succubus but instead i try to convince people to indulge in gluttony instead of lust. yes boy... consumee the 12 pack of iced sugar cookies from publix boy... hey boy i made you cheesecake and icecream... heres how you make some banging good potatoes and carrots in the oven easily boy... put some yummy steak on the grill... drink soda and play minecraft with me boy...
#rambles#i am saying this because i feel like it'd be super fun for people to portray like. demons who convince you to do sin as a whole for other#vices.#Like homie. Yeah murder and lust is 'bad' but like. lets get some nuance#maybe it's just me but i would not give my soul away to a demon who rises out of my floorboards like 'wanna fuck' or 'wanna kill'#homie just needs to rise out in sweatpants and a hoodie and ask 'you wanna go get a burger from burgerking' and my soul is GONE#and i will bestow this gift upon others fuck you (also i just like making food)
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