#I KNOW I KNOW I'm harping on it

[jonathanbyersphd]

Jonathan:* trying to find his baby sister in the desert so he can go home to his girlfriend* Mike & Will: Suzie is a GENIUS you don't even know what the internet is Argyle: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[ask-the-druggieverse]

3/4 (Continuation)

- ALT - DREAM: Sense I was still mentally and physically 6 years old DREAM: Him and Cross both had to raise me DREAM: It honestly felt like DREAM: "an older sibling taking care of their younger sibling because their parents died" DREAM: And despite having to take care of me... DREAM: He was very bad at hiding things I couldn't have PAST!DREAM: ?

- IDK - Many things, this backstory is based off of part my past and like... there are a bunch of wildfires happening rn (I think you can guess where I live with this information), none of the wildfires are heading directly to where I was but a few days ago there was a wildfire 30 minutes away from me :skull:

On a not so dangerous note, I sadly got carpel tunnel AGAIN and now my thumb is suffering, luckily I finished this while I could, I'm not taking a hiatus as I will still work on the next and probably last part of this ask and move onto other asks U_U

Also please do not tag anything on this blog as Cream/Cross x Dream on this specific blog/MAU, I won't repeat this on ALL posts but I'll re-say it if there's another post on this blog featuring Cross and Dream. Once I create a new blog for my other MAU/AU/AT(yes it's all 3 together) this rule won't apply because my other MAU does not have this specific dynamic for Cross and Dream.

MAIN: @inkyu

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[gardenerian]

thoughts on ian’s face in the “sorry im late” scene in 5x8 (i think it’s 5x8)

my thoughts are that i am going to start crying and never stop. my additional thoughts are:

so he's in bed, right? he's been trying mickey all day, meanwhile mickey has been going through his own process at home. but ian is thinking that he might have finally pushed mickey away for good - or scared him away. so he's in bed, eyes shut - probably not sleeping, but just laying there. shutting out the rest of the day. he hears someone behind him and his eyes kinda open. it's when he hears mickey though that his breathing picks up and we go from this:

to this:

like it's so slight, but like. the little flutters and the way his eyes start to move 😭 there's life left there. i feel like...... in moments like this, it sometimes feels like you might just lay there until you're dust. it's all over. the life you knew, the life you wanted. and yet - here he is again. and i think ian is genuinely surprised. this is where is starts being surprising to ian that he could be someone to come back for.

anyways. he turns around as fast as his medicated body will let him. we don't see his face when he first sees mickey, but we see it when he says "sorry i'm late." and it reminds me of the scene in 4x11 where mickey says "what you and i have makes me free." like it makes me insane. in both of these moments, his face just drops into something so young and so vulnerable.

like???? he's a little boy! and here is someone standing in front of him - someone he he has ALWAYS WANTED to stand in front of him - promising to be there. that he knows ian needed him. that he's here now for whatever might happen. reality is so warped these days but here he is.

and you see it land??? you see ian exhale and settle in a way he probably hasn't in a while. things are not okay. they're not okay!!! and they won't be for a while. but in this little moment together in this room where he grew up, he can breathe out the grief. he can share it.

mickey moves to get in bed and ian just makes room, like he always has. but he never blinks. doesn't dare take his eyes off of mickey. it's like he's scared mickey might change his mind, or dissolve right in front of him. is he even really there?

and there's another layer of disbelief here. another layer of grief. mickey milkovich is crawling back into his bed to hold him, and it's like this. it happened like this. everything he's done and suffered and been made to face comes down all at once. he's tired, he's scared. he's sorry. mickey has finally seen the worst of him.

he looks away, and mickey chases after him. i think it's important to mickey here that he lets ian feel him. something about that tactile, grounding comfort. and mickey won't look away either, it's too precious. ian's safe, even if nothing is the same.

and it's here, in these quivering lips and drawn eyebrows...... this is the release. his body and his mind have been through a lot in the last few days. it's as close to cathartic as ian really gets for a while. it's not long before the walls go back up and he's angry. but right now, he brings his hand to hold mickey's wrist, and he lets himself be held.

now.... this face:

this face fucking haunts me. i cannot name this face. what is he seeing here? i imagine it's so hard to see past this moment, into a future he can't name. it's like he's simultaneously feeling mickey there and also completely isolated. i can't explain this face. can anyone else explain this face???

either way, he closes his eyes against it. and you can assume that rest is coming.

with mickey keeping watch.

[stargirlie25]

consider yourself an enemy if you try to say Nesta didn't have a right to use the trove in the ember bonus chapter.

I know all these ppl are Rhysand Stan's in disguise trying to make a point.

NOT EVERYTHING BELONGS TO ONE CHARACTER ONLY!

The trove obeys Nesta SUCK ITTTT

I don't say it as much but I think Rhysand Stan's annoy me more than Rhysand himself.

LIKE people will never let Nesta goes even though she is practically the authors favorite character?

[mhaccunoval]

untitled (inspired by a @vicku post) || mine, 6 june 2023

[isfjmel-phleg]

🌋

[whiteshipnightjar]

Joanna Newsom in 2023

+ a non visual but descriptive bonus

[agirlking]

“The Sullys didn’t owe Spider anything, they didn’t adopt him.” It is basic decency to not leave a child with the murderers that kidnapped him. Much less a child you knew since infancy, much less a child who at least two of your children love like he’s their own brother.

[invinciblerodent]

I fucking swear, if I see another person say that an explicitly bi/pansexual character is "gay-coded" or "straight-coded", I'm going to yartz.

Just straight up hurl.

Perhaps even spew.

Or retch. Disgorge. Upchuck. Yarf. Etc. You get the picture.

[rose-void-789]

I said it before and I'll say it again.

It can not be this hard to write a female lead that stands hand and hand with the protagonist. That her whole character doesn't revolve around just her feelings towards the protagonist. (Say what you want but if in the end her arc was about accepting her feelings about the mc then her arc was around those feelings more then anything.)

And it can not be this hard to make two childhood rivals take up a lot of their screen time and have their relationship be a major part of the show and not have them come off as romantic. In fact it can not be this hard to just not give them romantic tropes.

You know how I know it can't be this hard because say what you will about the later seasons, about the fanservice and all that, but hiro fucking mishima managed to do that with Gray, Lucy and Natsu. Fairytail for all its faults has some good relationship and characters especially in its early seasons. And I hate how it's apparently such a challenge for everyone else.

[keeps-ache]

every now and then something in my brain turns on and oh hello information i didn't know i had stored! where've you been !

[samwinchesterthewitch]

like aside from the many sexual innuendos and symbolic acts of sexual violence, the fucking. force feeding Sam demon blood scene. i will never. how can i even. the violation of that scene is so intimate and then the fact that Sam spits instead of swallowing. how will i ever fucking recover from that or be normal about it

[surenschompychompers]

Melodie: You will die, Lena will die, everyone will die, The Snow Queen Has Won. Rory, in the Glass Mountain, surrounded by enemies, with absolutely no plan: I'll be there in less than thirty minutes. Me:

[vulpinesaint]

idk if you remember, but you responded to my anon a few days ago and i really wanted to respond.... but my energy levels.... anyway, it was the one about potentially liking my friend romantically? and to quote some of your tags for remembering purposes:

(2) brain buzzing though trying to think of what kind of quiz i would make that would allow that kind of understanding

(3) (something about how the quiz Should not be about that topic because of drawing conclusions yourself instead of i.e. being told "you have abandonment issues")

(1) anyway. idk if you meant this original ask in an aromantic way. but i mean everything aromantically so <3

and yeah I wanted to respond because thoughts? though it's a little counterproductive to be on anon for this, I just feel like I've already seemed pathetic and parasocial enough in your notes recently

1: did I mean it in an aromantic way? maybe. I wouldn't know, frankly. same as with my sexuality, it is inseparable from my trauma, and I've stopped trying to see where it starts, and my "true nature" ends it's part of who I am, but it also makes it difficult to know if I would truly enjoy a romantic or sexual partnership without throwing myself into one - which I don't want

while I certainly don't experience attraction the same way many others do, I do enjoy the thought of a partnership that includes stereotypical romantic behavior. I like dates, though I haven't been on many, I like showing someone they hold a special place in my heart, and I enjoy having someone hold that special place, too. I think I want to marry someday, have a child if circumstances allow it, etc.

what am I not having fun with, is knowing if the person I have in mind is one that Should be that, you know? because I very much get attached to others in an unhealthy way, focusing entirely on pleasing them, and giving myself a role to play. when they go "off script" and try to get closer to me themselves, I get scared and back away. or, if things go on too long, I burn myself out and distance myself from them, ashamed of not being able to keep up the standard I set for myself.

it's a superficial performance of affection without allowing anyone into my space

and there has been times things still worked out! one friend I felt this way about (and still do sometimes, admittedly) now has a girlfriend - which of course immediately shut anything down that could have developed in the future. and it was fine! we actually talk and video chat more now, though I couldn't say if that might have happened either way with us simply knowing each other longer

2: truly, I feel like a quiz about performance in general would fit this topic. at least when it comes to my own experiences. holding a monologue on an empty stage. talking towards the audience, speaking to another character but really spreading their emotions far and wide. losing yourself in the crowd, clamoring for a single cause. dissonant duets. 3: is it too on the nose? maybe. but there is so many, very detailed, scenarios in (I was personally thinking of) stage performances and live theater. I think maybe I'm the supporting cast moving things around dressed in all black. blending into the background by my own will. meant to be invisible, putting focus on me works against the role I have put myself into. etc etc. idk

anyway emotions are hard. I don't think I'm in a position where I could hold any deeper relationship, romantic or not, to an extend I'd be happy with. I don't want to be a charity case, but there will also be no perfect time. the fact I tend to be interested in people living far away, too, is... both definitely something I need to unpack, and also simply part of me preferring English over my native language (though you've probably noticed my writing being sub-par, it's something I struggle with deeply).

I was not planning on letting go on for so long, but here I am rambling again. in the end, I won't know if a romantic relationship is what I want (with him or anyone else) unless I try it. but I am not at a point in my life where I feel comfortable experimenting with it. it will remain a mystery for the foreseeable future, and I will have to do my best to leave my performer role and allow others to get closer to me

hello yes i remember!!! i apologize in advance because this is going to be a longass answer so. sorry. read what you want <3

i am unfortunately the worst person to express thoughts about being aromantic to because my answer is always going to be that there is a way for aromanticism to win haha. that said! i am going to try and. not write paragraphs here. but this means that i am going to link to other posts to expand on my thoughts there i think. speedrun.

trauma is a completely valid reason to identify with aromanticism

(i'm not microlabel boy personally but there is a label + community of people who identify their aromanticism as specifically resulting from trauma. / could be useful for seeking out other similar thoughts + perspectives)

labels are only a means of communication and self-categorization and are not necessary unless they are wanted + do not indicate an innate or universal way of being

aspec labels and community are centered around feeling attraction in a lesser/different way than the "typical" experience. if those are useful to you, they are there for you.

a lot of aro people do not like the expectation of romance-relationship-marriage-children that's pushed by amatonormativity. this doesn't preclude aro people in general from wanting those things though! personal preferences are personal preferences. romantic relationships can be nice for people. this is why people often get into them haha

you can have all those things in a nonromantic way if you want <3 queerplatonic relationships are rlly cool and you also just. don't have to call something platonic/nonplatonic. my gf and i are planning on getting married and having kids and our relationship is not romantic to me. i am a really big fan of doing whatever the fuck you want forever <3

acting out what you think is expected of a relationship is like The aspec experience of all time to me. sometimes what being aromantic looks like is performing exactly what you think the response of romance should be. because you can see it but don't feel it.

(again. microlabel specifically about liking the idea of romance but being repulsed by it once it's reciprocated/you get too close to it)

(or being aro but just wanting a romantic relationship)

(aplatonic people bring a really interesting perspective on this kind of feeling around platonic relationships instead of romantic)

absolutely not saying that what you want isn't real. but would also like to put forward from my own experience that sometimes what i wanted from typical romance conventions was not actually what i wanted. amatonormativity is a hell of a drug and personally i had to figure out that the 'partner' i was imagining in my head was just like. someone i wanted to hang out with. that the romantic relationship i might have been imagining was really just what i thought had to happen in order to have the deep soul-rending connection that i want with people. i had to unpack a lot of those kinds of things and it might be something that applies for you too <3

as for quiz concept.... mmmmm.... that's really good actually... rotating that in my head for sure. entirely predictably i have been a theater kid my entire life and i could theater it up. wax poetic on performance. god knows as an aromantic transsexual i have my fair share of experience with performing in a multitude of aspects haha. note to self think about theaters and haunting... was reminiscing about the puck monologue i did for my theater class in senior year of high school earlier today. miss that. i wanna act again...

ur writing is literally fine 👍 minor errors are minor errors but i think you express yourself very well. anyway. i think i have gotten back to you on everything here... one thing about talking to me it is like taking a quiz. and the quiz is "are you aromantic" and the answer i give is always yes haha

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake