#this can be such a lonely way to live is all

[liketolaugh-writes]

Danny shifted, clearly uncomfortable under Bruce's unwavering attention. "He's… dangerous, and immoral," he admitted, crossing his arms uncomfortably. "He's the one that discovered that I'm a clone, and that my DNA is unstable. I… didn't grow up knowing." He clenched his jaw.

"You grew up," Bruce said without meaning to. Danny shrugged tensely.

"My… creators knew that my DNA was unstable, and they hoped letting me grow naturally would help," Danny said. He smiled sardonically. "It did, technically. I'm destabilizing slowly instead of all at once."

Bruce nodded, a pit growing in his stomach. "The man you're trusting to help you."

"I don't have a lot of options," Danny said flatly. "Fewer than most clones would. It's fine. He's obsessed with me; he discovered the problems with my DNA in the process of trying to clone me. Like I said, he won't let me die, and he's not interested in you. He's interested in… traits I acquired during experimentation." Evasive again.

"What does he want in exchange."

That earned him a confused glance. "Nothing from you," Danny said. Bruce held his gaze, waiting. "…He hasn't said. I don't have any power to negotiate, so I decided it was a problem for later. Probably, he'll demand to adopt me. I expect he'll have rules. I don't really know. We haven't exactly gotten that far."

"Why."

Danny sighed, leaning back on the table where he was still seated. "He's lonely," he said, with unexpected and open pity. "He wanted to marry my mom-" Twitch. "…The woman, of the couple that made me." An open wound, Bruce noted. "But he couldn't. He has no one."

Bruce's mouth curled down. "Has he assaulted you?"

Danny looked at him again, clearly unsettled by his concern. "Sexually? No. And he hasn't indicated that he wants to. Physically?" He huffed. "Well… maybe he'll stop once he has what he wants." There was no fear there, only bitterness.

Bruce pulled the picture together in his mind. According to his words, Danny had grown up believing he was a normal child, despite experimentation that left lingering effects (unless 'experimentation' was a euphemism for something else?) and had only recently discovered otherwise because another man was attempting to clone him. To acquire him. That man had, apparently, told Danny, and they had composed a plan to attempt to save his life, possibly without Danny ever returning to his creators after the revelation.

"And you intend to stay with him."

Danny clenched his jaw, glaring at the floor. "I told you, I don't have a lot of options," he gritted out. "We'll see, okay? Maybe he'll calm down once I'm actually living with him and not beating him off me with a stick. I'm sorry I can't MacGuyver my way out of this like you can." Tight and insecure.

Either Danny was a very good actor, or he actually expected that Bruce would knowingly send him away to live with a 'dangerous and immoral' man that he described as 'obsessed' with him. Given Bruce's extensive experience with damaged teenagers, he suspected it was the latter.

Tim was acquainted with the cloning process, due to his close friendship with Kon. And Oracle would most likely be able to recover CADMUS' research on stabilizing cloned DNA. An idea started to form in Bruce's mind.

At that moment, Tim returned from the lab, far too soon to have finished the DNA extraction process, let alone analyzed it.

"I don't know how you get this from DNA," Tim announced, holding up a tube of buffer fluid that for some reason glowed faintly green, "but I have never seen a sample break down so fast."

Danny dropped his head into his hands.

Gut Feeling

DPXDC

Commissioner Jim Gordon meets an odd kid in the precinct.

--

“Come on, you really don’t have a way to directly contact Batman?”

Jim smiled. Kids came to the station and asked that all the time. Usually, it was just curiosity and showing them the signal was enough to get them to sign up for the Junior Police program. This one looked a little older than most, teenagers were often “too old” to believe in Batman, but again, give them a little faith now and they’ll never loose it.

“Lookin’ for the Bat, kid?” Jim asked, knowing he was about to make this kid’s –

Jim froze. The kid turned to face him and it was Bruce Wayne. Not playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, but freshly a teenager Bruce Wayne. The Bruce Wayne who Jim had checked in on time and again from age eight until he ran off on a globetrotting trip to find himself. The little Bruce Wayne with too pale skin and dark bags under his eyes, and not enough love to make up for all the grief weighing him down. And he didn’t look like Damian either, where Bruce was obviously his father but there were distinct traits from his mother. This was a carbon copy of a boy Jim remembered vividly.

“I am.” He even sounded like teenage Bruce. All business, like he was on a mission.

“I might be able to help you, but it’ll take a while.” Jim said and the officer the kid had been talking too gave him an odd look. He waved her off and told the kid to follow him to the commissioner’s office. Normally, he’d be more dramatic, put on more of a show for the kid, but his gut told him this was different, this was important. He offered the kid a styrofoam cup of water then closed the door behind him. “So, what do you need to talk to Batman for?”

“It’s personal. I need to talk to him in person.”

Jim took a sip of coffee from his cup. “He doesn’t appreciate me calling for no reason in the middle of the day.”

“So you do have a direct line?” The kid nearly jumped out of his seat. “If he’s upset, it’ll be my fault, just call him, please.”

“Who should I say wants to talk to him?”

The kid hesitated. “He doesn’t know me, but I have to talk to him.”

Jim frowned. “What’s your name, kid?”

He swallowed and looked like he wasn’t going to answer for a moment. “Danny.”

“Danny…?” Jim wanted a last name but Danny kept quiet. Jim sighed, “He’s likely not going to show up until sundown.”

“I can wait, as long as you guarantee he’ll show.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why you need Batman?” Jim just got a glare in response. “What about one of the other heroes?”

“Only Batman, no one else can help.”

“You sure about that? Not even Superman?”

“Not unless Superman can get me in the same room as Batman.”

“Why’s it so important that you meet him in person?”

“It’s personal.”

Jim liked this less and less by the minute. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

Danny looked away but right when it looked like he wouldn’t say anything he mumbled. “They wouldn’t care anyway.”

After another moment to give the kid time to reconsider, Jim pulled out the Bat-phone. It was a normal Wayne-Tech cell phone, but Jim had been given very specific instructions on how and when to use it. The phone listed all the Gotham Vigilantes without visible numbers so they couldn’t be copied and handed out. He pressed the one for Batman.

“Stand outside, would you?” The kid gave him a look, but followed the request. Jim could see his shadow in the door’s window, not so subtle eavesdropping.

It rang a few times, and Jim sat there awkwardly with a teenager listening to his every move. Finally, a familiar voice picked up the other end of the line. “Commissioner Gordon.”

“Sorry to call you out of the blue Batman, but I’ve got a kid here who needs your help.”

“Who?”

“Says his name is Danny, that you’ve never met him but you’re the only one who can help him.”

“Why?”

“Refuses to tell me.”

“What’s your best guess, Commissioner?”

Jim looked at Danny’s shadow, it looked like he was straining his ears to try and hear what he was saying. Danny had given him almost nothing to work with. Just his name, that he’s never met Batman but needs to talk with him in person. But Jim was here because he listened to his gut. A feeling like when you see a random rock on your neighbor’s doorstep but you’d never go in without an invitation. A feeling like you know what’s in the present and are preparing your surprised face. A feeling like when you cheated on your wife and you know she knows.

“He looks like Bruce Wayne.”

A beat of silence. “What?”

“Danny looks exactly like Bruce when he was a teenager. Exactly the same.” Jim hoped Batman would get it, feel in his gut what Jim felt.

“And he wont say why he’s there?”

“No, and he demands to see you in person.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

“10-4.” The line cut off before Jim had finished saying it. He called Danny in again. “He’s on his way.”

Danny glared at him. “If he’s not, if you called some social worker or something, you’ll regret it.”

“I’m sure.” Jim sighed and downed the rest of his now cold coffee.

The sun hadn’t set, but only just barely. Jim ended up taking Danny up to the roof in the end after all, if only to save his window from being broken into. The kid had a red hoodie on, but he was still shivering in the autumn chill and it was just going to get colder by the minute as the sun made its way behind the horizon.

Jim checked his watch and, at exactly an hour from when he called, he acted surprised when Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere. “Bats.”

“Commissioner.” Batman greeted but his eyes went straight for Danny. “Danny, I assume.”

“Yeah, I…” Danny hesitated, looking at Jim and Robin.

All it took was four words from Batman. “What do you need?”

The kid held out his hand with a flash drive in it. “I’m your clone. My par- The people who made me wanted to make a stronger version of you, but they got ahead of themselves. My DNA is degrading and I’ll die if I don’t get your DNA to stabilize me.”

Holy cow.

“You don’t expect us to believe that, do you?” Robin sneered at him.

“The flash drive has all the info on it. All the data about the cloning process and the, uh, relevant experiments after that.” Batman gave the kid a look. “I didn’t want to waste time on unnecessary data.”

“If what you’re saying is true, why are you here, alone? Are they working on a different solution?”

Danny’s shoulders hiked up. “I’ve been a failure for a while now, I’m not worth the resources and they’d learn more from an autopsy.”

Oof, kid. Jim looked at Batman who seemed to feel the same… if Jim was reading him right.

“So, you wont object to a DNA test?” Robin asked with a cocky head tilt, at least he was relatively easy to read.

“You can try.” Danny said, and then realized what that sounded like. “I mean I wont stop you, but my DNA degrades faster outside my body. You’ll have to take me to whatever lab you plan on using.”

“Then we will.” Batman said and jerked his head towards where they’d probably parked that ridiculous car of his. But then he looked at Jim with a nod. “Commissioner.”

“Batman.” Jim returned the nod. “You’ll tell me how things turn out, yeah?”

“I’ll give you a report.” Batman joked – Jim could tell, it was gut feeling.

[iwashie]

𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙭

Imagine Sevika breaking up with you; breaking your heart again as she sees your eyes fill with tears as you grabbed only a jacket and left her apartment, slamming the door on your way out and never coming back. She was sure she was doing the right thing. It was the best for you two, especially for you to stay away from problems. 

She had to get used to the new routine of coming home late at night and entering an empty apartment without your presence welcoming her home with a kiss, and the table set with delicious food, without your laugh and warmth, calling her by the pet names. 

While you sank in sadness, crying every night, thinking where you two went wrong, missing Sevika, she spent nights on end at the brothel, filling your empty space with another face, body, warmth, kiss and touches, just to still feel empty and lonely. But she faced her decision without regrets, without getting in touch, avoiding all the places you two could run into each other. 

She had to send your stuff back through Ran since you refused to go to her place to pick it up; all of your things were boxed in your living room when you came home from work. That was a definitive end to what you two were. 

That night, Sevika almost got kicked out of the brothel because of the chaotic situation she was in; sobbing and drunkenly calling for you, throwing punches at the men. 

You grow used to the new life, accepting her decision and moving on with your life, also avoiding all the places you could see her. Spending months without seeing each other, quietly living the new single life.

Just to one day while Sevika was strolling through the streets she listened to your laugh coming from nearby, and her heart stopped for a minute, the feeling of miss filling her. She followed your voice, hoping to see you after all this time, and make small talk with you; after all, you’re a Zaun citizen and she cares for her people. She stopped and her smirk died when saw you laughing, receiving a bouquet of flowers and getting hit on by another woman.

Sevika felt like hit by a punch, seeing you accept the flowers and touch the woman. Her world slowly crumbling at her feet as she felt a grip on her heart and her head filled with your image welcoming her home, your smiling face, your laugh, your shine eyes, your touches and kisses, your voice calling her and your body moving inside her apartment, dancing in the kitchen with her jazz disco collection, your body dancing on her hands while you two made love. She could feel your body glued on hers, your arms and legs tangled on her body while your face is crushed against her chest, and all the domestic moments you two lived. All of it disappears while she’s alone in her room, your scent long gone, the apartment empty and dark without your shining presence there, making her happy and loved.

The memories hitting her differently.

Sevika felt triggered knowing that someone out there is buying you roses, possibly making you happy the way she couldn’t, that you moved on like you had enough, quitting her like a cigarette. And now she’s six feet deep seeing roses everywhere, killing her that someone is stealing her girl for good and she can do nothing about it. 

Sevika was in front of your door, banging on it, hoping not to see that woman with you, and when you opened, your face rapidly changing, she was speechless for a while. What was she doing at your door late at night, maybe drunk, holding a bouquet of flowers and looking at you with anticipation, her words stuck to her throat. 

“Think I got it bad if i’m honest, thought that I was good, turns out that I’m a little far from it. You didn’t call me. You moved on… And I am still stuck in the past, overthinking my actions and words, they were all lies.”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest, and Sevika gulped, her eyes scanning everywhere just to stop at your pretty face. She opened her mouth and closed again, gesturing her arms.

“I saw you with that woman and I… I went crazy. I was a fool to break up with you. I can’t live without you… I’m so fucking empty without you. Everything reminds me of you and I just think about the good time we had together. I… Doll, I need you.”

You uncrossed your arms, stepped outside your house and grabbed the bouquet she extended to you, smelling the flowers; your favorite flowers and your perfume that never came from her house. 

“Baby, please… give me another chance.” She begged, almost kneeling in front of you. “Give us another chance. Please.” 

You shook your head, a little sigh escaping your mouth as you passed the bouquet to one arm and with the other pulled her to you. Your lips touching in a soft kiss as her hands find its place on your waist, bringing you closer. “I hate you, Sevika.”

“But I love you, doll. And now you’re stuck with me forever.” She said, giving you a lingering peck and pushing you inside your house, closing the door with her foot.

@iwashie 2025, please do not translate, modify or republis my works

[voluptuarian]

I'm trying to avoid people's dumb takes on Nosferatu but I keep being exposed to the tip of the iceberg and am annoyed enough about it to rant about it.

There's nothing in there that implies she was a kid. She lived in her family home, in the room she had lived in her whole life-- very typical for an unmarried adult woman at the time, especially in a well off family. Everyone determined that this had to be Orlok "grooming" a "child" are just fixated on that interpretation because it's nasty-sounding enough that they can condemn the relationship as "irredeemable" and "problematic" without sounding like pearl-clutchers. It's the magic word that lets them look vindicated in writing the whole thing off. She's not played by a child, she is dressed and styled as an adult, and the needs she's expressing, for attention, for recognition, for physical and emotional intimacy, are in no way limited to children. She's a young woman yearning for things that everybody wants and she's been denied. Ellen having been neglected, lonely, and starved for affection doesn't negate her adulthood. Her walking into a bad situation as a result of all that doesn't make her "groomed." Plenty of grown adults wind up in bad relationships because they're naive and desperate for love.

Similarly, everyone determined that one side of the triangle here wasn't "real" or that she "actually" only felt a connection with one of them and nothing for the other is similarly ridiculous. Thomas is the relationship Ellen chooses intentionally and conscientiously and which provides her the future she wants while satisfying her physical and emotional desires in a safe, secure, loving environment. Orlok is the first love, the first major relationship that she fell into because she was reckless and desperate for affection, that at first satisfied her needs but turned sour and dangerous-- that relationship becoming scary, unpleasant, coercive, doesn't erase the good things they had together once. Ellen and Orlok is the bad breakup between people who's freak matched too well. In the normal world it'd be a bad breakup with a toxic partner; in hers he's unfortunately also a an amoral inhuman manifestation of consumption.

And as for "Orlok doesn't love Ellen blah blah he's only an appetite blah blah." Love is an appetite. Need is an appetite. Loneliness is an appetite unmet. It's all hunger!! Why the FUCK is a zillion year old ghoul aristocrat holed up in a ruin in Eastern Europe tuned in enough to immediately respond to the random calls of some nameless unimportant woman he's never met a thousand miles away?? Because he's as desperate as she is, and for similar things. He was already listening, was already looking for someone-- he was desperate and searching first. His needs are twisted because he's a literal monster, but they still echo hers. The freak is matched, the freak in this case being deep emptiness and desire to be wanted and embraced. Unfortunately for him, Ellen can look elsewhere to satisfy those desires when he no longer makes her happy and find people who will-- and she does. Orlok can only go where he is called, must be chosen under special circumstances, which, seemingly out of everyone within his considerable reach, only she has offered. If what Orlok feels isn't love, its the survival in his mockery of life of what would have been love. But what ends in real love with union, ends for him with destruction and a return to lonely solitude-- that's his curse.

Ellen saves the man she chose by rejecting their future together, by breaking their marriage vows, and by sacrificing herself. She chooses the sacrifice as an act of autonomy, but one that subverts her own desires and victimizes her. It's a tragedy, but it's also a victory. It's a succumbing to the predations of the lover who wouldn't let her go, but its also making peace with him, taking into her embrace a figure she hates and fears but still feels connected to. It's fulfilling the monster's insatiable need, granting him the union he craves the only way it can be: through his death. Orlok is loved, and betrayed, and saved. Thomas is loved, and betrayed, and saved. Ellen chooses love for both of them, betrays them both, saves them both, betrays and saves herself. All of those things can be happening at once, just as tenderness, rejection, repulsion, evil, and love can all be happening at once. Is it comfortable? No. That's the point! But expressing your discomfort with that story as "I will willfully misinterpret this movie and dismiss its themes in whatever most easy to excuse way I can because I feel uncomfortable" is the path of the hack and the coward, and I think that's the what the majority of these "takes" are really about.

[lexawritex]

need you now

idol!huhyunjin x producer!reader

synopsis: you're a producer whose songs dominate the charts. to keep the hits coming, you turn to a couple cans of beer for inspiration. but the alcohol takes control, pushing you into calling your ex.

genre: light angst; heated make out session at the end :/

warnings: alcohol; swearing; top yunjin cus why not

i'm all alone and i need you now

being a producer was a choice your parents didn't agree on but with you being the most sought after producer now—their doubts were erased and now they're showering you with praises and support. you found it hilarious how they ridiculed you for pursuing a non-engineering job like your siblings did and now they're treating you like a prodigy. thinking about it made you feel bitter, to make it worse, the alcohol started to kick in.

you were in your apartment, wide awake at one in the morning due to a sudden urge to write a song. around you were cans of beer scattered on the floor, with the hope that it can help you think of creative ideas but honestly, it's all what you have in your fridge.

finishing a can, you tossed it on a pile of empty beer cans as you shifted your attention to your laptop screen. deleting one line after another—unsatisfied with the words. beside it was also your notebook where you usually write songs but you were still stuck. the urge was strong yet no matter you do, the output didn't feel good enough.

frustrated, you grabbed a pillow from the couch and hurled it across the living room, knocking a box out of place. with a groan, you stood up, set the box right, and started picking up its contents. but when you saw what it was, you froze.

it was pictures of the past. a good memory now leaving bitter feelings whenever you remember it. you shouldn't but you did. you looked at the pictures that consisted of either places or a certain woman. the woman that were once the inspiration of your songs and the one that fueled your passion for music.

"huh yunjin..."

you mumbled as you stared at a photo of her, holding an umbrella and looking back at you. you remembered how you'd always carry a camera whenever you two went on dates, wanting to capture every moment to look back on. now, you traced the dusty photograph with your fingers, the smile on her face a painful reminder of a beautiful past.

you went on a couple of pictures and stopped on the last picture that was at the very bottom of the box. the photograph taken just a week before the beautiful story ended. her smile was so wide that it shocked your whole world when she came to you and ended your relationship. you asked yourself, 'what went wrong?' yet the answer was clear.

you both lived in the same world, yet her life was much harder than yours. you didn’t have thousands of people watching your every move, criticizing each mistake. you didn’t feel the pressure to be perfect, to look like a doll every day. you didn’t have a management controlling every aspect of your life. those were the things you didn’t have—things yunjin did. but despite it all, your relationship blossomed and sailed… until it didn’t.

reminiscing about it caused tears to well up in your eyes. a chuckle escapes your mouth followed with a sigh as you sniff.

"well that was a good two years of sunshines and rainbows..." you said, staring at the pictures scattered on the floor.

you stood up, almost loosing you balance and wobbled your way to the fridge—the alcohol taking over your whole system. grabbing another beer, you slumped on your sofa and took a chug of the drink. you looked at the fogged up window, rain hitting it creating soft thuds. you've always like the comfort of the rain but now you hate it. because it reminded you that no one will give you warmth in the cold weather like she used to. you shook your head as your thoughts drifted drifted her again.

"i'm so fucking lonely..." you said followed by a deep sigh.

you reached for your phone, hoping to have a friend that's still awake at this hour to accompany you in the lonely night. you scrolled through your seemingly endless list of contacts but stopped abruptly when your eyes caught a number you haven't contacted for a while.

your fingers hovered above the number as you hesitated on calling it or not. it must've been the alcohol because now you're looking at a ringing screen, her photo smiling at you while your phone rings—waiting for the other end to pick up.

your eyes widened and you panicked—causing your phone to slip from your grip.

"shit!" you cursed and hurriedly picked up your phone to cancel the call but it was already answered.

you gasped and slapped a hand to your mouth.

"y/n?"

oh how much you missed that voice calling your name. if not for the shock, you would've teared up hearing her voice. you hurriedly pressed the end button and tossed your phone on the coffee table.

"good god..." you said and downed a whole can of beer.

well it was a bad idea because now you're really drunk and lonely and the rain wasn't making it any better. you accidentally called your ex, heard her voice and now you miss her.

☆

yunjin looked at her phone with confusion as she sat in her bed. she had just gotten out of a warm shower after practicing for their upcoming comeback. setting the phone down, she stared at the wall as she let her thoughts run. from their upcoming comeback and how it would do, her thoughts drifted to you. a sad sigh escaping her mouth as her eyes landed on a jacket she hung. the one she wore when she broke things off.

she regretted it, yes, but she had no choice. your relationship was starting to fail when she got busy for their last comeback. fights were becoming frequent when she'd snap at the smallest things due to lack of rest and the pressure of their comeback. that time their group was also under heavy criticism due to a simple mistake that added fuel to the fire. her management urged her to end her relationship to protect their group incase someone leaks your relationship. yunjin didn't want to hurt you and ruin your career so she did the regrettable.

hanging her head down, she let her tears fall and let the feelings pour out as the rain drowned out the sound. sometimes, she'd wish she was stronger and fought for your relationship, for you.

her cries were cut off when her phone rang, flinching in surprise, she looked at who was calling her at this time. seeing that it was your number again, she immediately grabbed her phone. her finger hesitating to press the answer button yet did it anyway and she immediately heard your soft sniffles and your shaky breath.

"can you come over? i need you right now." you softly whispered through the phone.

your soft voice that used to whisper sweet nothings to her, your soft voice that would sing to her heart whenever you'd serenade her and the voice that she misses so much. it was enough to put her on her feet and storm out of her room.

looking at her phone, you had ended the call. she sighed and speed-walked to the front door when her leader called her.

"yunjin? where are you headed to this late?" chaewon asked, crossing her arms.

yunjin pursed her lip, deciding to lie or not before answering.

"y/n...she called and said she needed me.." the leader uncrossed her arm, brow raised in confusion.

"and you'd risk getting caught by dispatch over a call?" chaewon stared at her red-haired member who held a pleading expression. she sighed and waved yunjin off, walking towards her room.

"just don't get caught and use the manager's car. i'll talk to him for you." a smile broke in yunjin's lips as she eagerly nodded and jogged to grab the car key from the drawer.

"will do!" yunjin whisper yelled and put on a disguise. a good old hat and mask, tying her hair neatly under her hat—hiding her recognisable red hair.

☆

you were lying on the cold floor, eyes staring at the ceiling—which had remnants of the past. a masking tape you placed to hold the balloons when you surprised yunjin on her birthday. you forgot to take that off and now seeing it made all the memories flood your mind.

your eyes shifted to your phone that was held loosely by your left hand. you grimaced at how you let yourself go and drunk called your ex. a groan escapes your mouth as you writhe on the ground in embarrassment.

a ring on your doorbell knocked you off your actions— making you confused and scared. it's already two in the morning and you weren't expecting any visitors—unless you were thinking of how you called your ex to come over but it's impossible. there's no way she'd come over.

a ring resounded again and it made you stand up, wobbling to it. getting a grip on the doorknob, you twisted it and opened the brown door. all sense of security leaving your alcohol-drowned brain.

a masked person stood before you, eyes locking with yours. you swear you've seen those dark brown eyes before but you just can't remember where and when. the person took off their mask and you let out the most audible gasp. it seemed to make you slightly sober because you immediately pulled the person in and closed the door.

"yunjin? what are you doing here? you might get seen!" you said and immediately let go of your grip on her wrist. you didn't really expect her to come over.

finding the situation quite awkward, you stepped a good steps back. yunjin looked at you and chuckled softly.

"were you drinking?" she asked.

"no." her eyes shifted to the mess behind you then back to yours before raising a brow.

"yes." you sighed and she shook her head.

walking past you, she went to the kitchen and grabbed a plastic bag. her familiarity with your place making you remember the days where she'd spend the night over and cook you delicious meals that you miss.

your eyes followed her as she went to the living room and picked up the empty beer cans on the ground. feeling guilty over her cleaning your mess, you walked into the living room and took the plastic from her—making her look at you.

"i'll clean it myself." you said but she took it from you.

"no, i'll take care of this. you go take a shower and then sleep." you looked at her as she continued cleaning your mess while you stood there watching her.

there she goes again, making you feel things with her actions. a trait of hers that you fell so hard for. but now, it only made your heart wrench in pain.

hearing your silence, yunjin stopped and looked up at you. eyes widening at the tears streaming down your face. dropping the plastic, yunjin got up and went to you, holding your face as she wiped the tears from your eyes with her thumb.

you chuckled bitterly.

"why are you doing this? we're not together anymore. exes don't wipe their ex's tears." you bitterly said, making yunjin stop and let go of you.

"right..." she nodded and stepped back.

"exes also don't call their ex saying to come over because you need them." yunjin retorted making you lock eyes with her.

"can you blame me? you came into my life, rocked my world and left me with these memories i wanted to forget so bad." yunjin's eyes widened at your words as you stood there breathing heavily.

"i wanted to beg to you to come back... i felt so alone that no matter what i do—i just can't fill the hole you left in my heart." tears welled in yunjin's eyes.

"i..oh god..i'm sorry..." yunjin cried as she closed the gap between you and held your face, wiping tears with her thumb.

"please...just for tonight...let me love you again..." you plead, eyes looking back at hers for a response.

the red haired girl nodded and without wasting time, you closed the distance between you—lips crashing against each other. you tasted the tears that you've both shed as you shared a passionate kiss filled with longing for each other.

your arms snaked around her neck as hers circled smoothly to your waist, pulling you even closer. as your lungs burned at the lack of oxygen, yunjin pulled away—foreheads against each other as you both pant heavily.

"i might get drunk with all the beer you've drunk." yunjin commented making you chuckle.

"oh yeah?" you said and leaned for a kiss, smiling against her lips that you missed so much.

lost in the heat of the kiss, you failed to realize that you were now against the wall, her hand trapping you in her tall build whilst the other held your waist. a once passionate kiss turned into something more when yunjin pulled away to breathe and you saw the hungry look in her eyes.

"fuck this." you said and pulled her to the sofa, pushing her against the soft cushion—straddling her immediately.

as if automatic, her hands landed on your hips and pulled you closer to her. looking up at you with an intense, hungry gaze like a predator ready to pounce on her prey—you. pushing your face to hers, your lips danced together emitting sloppy sounds with your soft sighs and moans.

yunjin bit your lip, eliciting a moan from you—music to her ears. taking this chance to invade your mouth with her tongue who danced with yours leaving you breathless. her lips parted from your mouth and trailed kisses from your jaw to your neck.

she softly bit your neck, earning a moan from you. her lips went to your sensitive spot which she knows by heart and began abusing your skin, biting it softly then kissing it. controlled by her lust and hunger, she failed to realize that she'd been sucking on it. once she's done, she released your skin with a pop as she pulled away—looking at the red marks on your neck that are starting to darken a bit.

proud at her 'art', her attention went to your hungry gaze and now swollen lips that are begging for her care. she decided to tease you for a bit, ghosting her lips just a mere centimeter away from yours—watching as you squirm and push your head against hers. you hungrily kissed her, your tongue invading hers but was quickly dominated by her.

the heat becoming too much, you pulled away as you quickly removed your shirt—yunjin helped you so. lips crashing immediately as you threw it somewhere in your room. her lips parted from yours again and ventured beneath your neck, lightly nipping on your skin. her mouth just above your mounds making you whimper when she teasingly licked on the skin.

your eyes met hers, and you just knew where this kiss would lead—a path of no return, one you’d likely regret in the morning. but the thought barely lingered, drowned out by the intoxicating pull of her lips. drunk in her kisses, you leaned in again, letting her warmth consume you.

the world outside blurred as the glass windows fogged up, a hazy testament to the clash of warmth and cold. under the drizzling rain, her lips met yours in a heated frenzy—a desperate attempt to fill the fractures in your hearts. it was a kiss that erased everything but the two of you, a kiss that begged to mend what was broken, if only for a fleeting moment... or maybe, just maybe, forever.

.

.

.

-------------------------------------------------------

halo im back after being gone for almost a week. i made this about three days ago but lost the inspiration to finish it until now so here ya go.

[softness-and-shattering]

I was writing tags but I think it deserves main post.

Something I know multiple people to do is get a pet so that you have a life relying on you. You cant do it today because who will feed the cat tomorrow?

And as a bonus, looking after an animal really helps you have compassion and look after yourself. Ive experienced this personally*.

Animals, especially cuddly ones are also super therapeutic. Just holding or touching a warm living creature is really powerful, especially but not exclusively if youre lonely or touch starved. Its comforting. You feel less alone. Theyre affectionate towards you, and that makes you think there must be something about you worth loving because theres a cat climbing on you and purring. It doesnt know about human troubles and self esteem and reputation and work. It knows you are person. You feed it. It sees you every day. It loves you. Youre lovable. Youre worthy of love. This weird creature says so.

This isnt necessarily the right advice for everyone so do think about it; eg dont get a dog if you cant consistently leave the house to walk them. Cats do better indoors, and they need more than just food water and litter change. Brushing, love, play, vet visits etc. I dont know anout keeping fish but that might be easier. You could also try a plant. Its surprising how effecting it is to have a living being with you, even if its just a tiny succulent in a pot that doesnt ever move. Its still alive and thats powerful. If youre keeping it alive thats also an incredible feeling. One time when I was living alone and isolating myself, a friend left me a little succulent at the door when I said I wasnt up for actually interacting. And it made a really significant difference which was so surprising to me, its so small! But its *alive*.

*I once had a psych ask if Id ever had a pet, I said no, he said ok so try imagine. The same way you love a pet unconditionally no matter what it does, try feel that way about yourself. I did not viscerally understand what he meant till I got a cat, who could be a mischievous stinky slippery little shit, and I loved him with all my heart no matter how upset I also was at him. This wasnt something I had experienced before.

Another time Id moved somewhere new and I was talking to my cat about how it must be scary for him, in a new place with new sights and sounds and smells. And then I realised, hey, *Im* in a new place with new sights and sounds AND smells, and its ok if I feel a bit wobbly about it. We can be a bit wobbly and comfort each other together.

Seriously, having a Little Guy follow you around and love you is the best. Pet ownership is one of my best life decisions.

So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.

1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.

2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.

3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.

4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.

[bekkathyst]

I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna mean it in all sincerity from a longtime follower: I'm really glad you're so open with how things have been since you moved to Austria. On one hand, I do feel like I'm not only supporting a business I have for ages and feel good about that and I'm also supporting folks I care about online into being able to have a good life. And on the other I'm glad, because if you didn't mention the bad stuff I would probably 100% believe you guys moved into the middle of Europe and immediately escaped all the evils of capitalism and integrated into a gorgeous place with lots of history and folklore and ability to forage (!!!!!!!) and I would be so jealous I would possibly die. So either way I'm happy to keep buying your crystals, and also while I am very jealous but I probably won't die of it. Please give your daughter a hug from me, and your husband a high five. :D

Ah 😭 this is really sweet and I’m going to try not to ramble too long but I feel like this is a good thing to discuss, especially right now.

The first couple months of moving here were an insane contrast of like the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and the most stressed out knowing that one wrong move meant we’d have to give it all up and move somewhere else or lose the ability to be together. The immigration process I’ve had to go through to be with my husband anywhere is difficult but it was harder here than what we dealt with in the US only because this is the place we REALLY wanted to be and it was terrifying thinking the chance to be here could just be ripped away. But of course at the same time I was seeing family I hadn’t seen in a decade or longer, I was getting to really connect with my ancestors, be immersed in the culture, forage in the way I’d been longing to do for my entire life, and all the rest. I feel like because of this I just blinked and now somehow it’s been two years.

The nature here is my favorite, and I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. But Austria is far from perfect. There’s racism, xenophobia, the bureaucracy has made me question my sanity, some of the social culture really sucks, my business is deeply struggling and I wonder if we can make it due to how high fees and other taxes are, and I will ALWAYS have criticisms for any government I live under lol. Living somewhere very different from where I spent most of my life is really isolating and I feel lonely a lot. And I’m sure however I feel, it’s even harder for Antonio.

But like I said in my post, in the end, this is worth it for us. It’s so hard BUT we get to watch our daughter grow up somewhere where she can have healthcare and a good education and swim in lakes and hike mountains and make so many friends!! Omg she has so many friends. 🥹 and I now have healthcare too for the first time in my life which is really just in time for me to get diagnosed with a bunch of chronic illnesses that I’d never be able to get any help for in the US. And now my husband also has the chance for the first time in his life to pretty much travel anywhere he wants to which is amazing for him.

It must be quite obvious that these are all feelings I’ve been holding in for some time lol. But I can’t believe what lovely human beings follow me on here and support us especially after so long! It’s been almost 12 years since I started all of this and somehow I’m still doing it. Wow. Incredible.

I love you 😭❤️

And here’s evidence of the passed on high five 😆

[seokmn]

TEENAGE DIRTBAG ✮⋆˙

pairing: taesan x gn!reader wc: 1.1k words warnings: mentions of graffiting, kissing, suggestive at the end if you squint

“i have a dream about her. she rings my bell”

“are you sure about this?” taesan asked while zipping up his jacket, whispering because it was in the middle of the night and he didnt want his parents to find out you were still awake and even worse, you were about to go out. “you know,” he smirked. “i wont call you a coward for not wanting to go.”

“shut up, im going with you,” you zip up your jacket as well and put the bag on your shoulder. he sighed and got closer to you. “im being serious now, yn. do you really want to go? you can stay here until i get back or i can do this another day. i dont want you to get into any trouble if something goes wrong.”

“taesan, its fine. im going and thats it, you wont change my mind.”

the boy sighed and put the hood of your jacket on with a small smile. “it’ll be fun, i promise you,” he took the bag off of your shoulder and placed it on his instead, “lets go?” you nodded. “yea, lets go.”

taesan put on his hood and made his way out of his house with you right behind him as you both walked towards your destination, an abandoned house.

as you got to your destination, taesan placed the bag on the floor and opened it up, taking a few spray pain cans out of it. “which color do you want first?” he asked, still looking at the cans. you hummed while looking at the cans in his hands.

the lamppost and the moon being the only things lighting that silent and lifeless place. “pink.”

he hummed and threw the can in your direction, you caught it in the air and mumbled a thank you. taesan chose the black one, shook the can and started to do his graffiti on the wall outside the house. the lines he painted already creating a form as he linked them together.

you watched him before shaking the can in your hand and starting to graffiti as well, but it was clear that your graffiti would turn out into a weird drawing and his would turn into a masterpiece. that’s what always happened, taesan has an amazing talent when it comes to drawing or anything related to it and you have an absurd talent when it comes to writing.

“how do you do that?” you asked as you painted the wall, your eyes darting at taesan’s figure and painting every two seconds. “practice, thats all,” he looked at yours and laughed. “yah! what are you painting?”

“i have no idea!” you laughed as well. “but isnt that what makes the painting artistic? just going with the flow, letting your emotions do the work?” he chuckled and nodded. “guess youre right. i bet it’ll end it up being a cute ass drawing.”

“it’ll definitely beat yours,” he scoffed and was about to say something, but stopped in his tracks when his face suddenly got lightened by a bright white light. his expression turned serious and you immediately turned around to see what was lightening his face and what made his smile die so quickly, only to be met by two cops.

“hey! what are you two doing?!” one of the cops asked, starting to walk towards you. taesan held your hand tightly and swallowed his own saliva. “yn, run.”

you didnt even have time to protest or say anything, taesan was already running, making you run as well because of the grip on your hand. you looked back and saw the cops yelling at you and starting to run as well, their goal being chasing you and do whatever the cops do when they catch teenagers graffiting.

“taesan, we left your bag!”

“you think i care? our lives matter the most!” he said as he kept running, taking glances at the cops and at you to see if youre still doing well every now and then.

you two kept running through the silent and lonely streets, all the things that could be heard were your breathing, yours and the cops footsteps and their yelling demanding you two to stop running.

taesan kept taking glances at you and at the cops, but he was also staying aware of his surroundings, looking around to see if there was any place that you could hide from them. his focused expression was broken by a small smirk when his eyes landed on a dark alley.

he entered the alley and immediately pulled you closer to him, with basically no space between you. “shh…” he covered your mouth as he looked at his side, watching the cops still running in a straight line, knowing they already lost you.

when he was sure that he wasnt listening their footsteps anymore, he uncovered your mouth and let out a deep sigh. “that was close…”

you looked at him amused and out of breath. “hey, you okay? take a deep breath,” taesan placed his hand on your back as he watched you get your breath back. “woah… i felt like i was a subway surfers character.”

he laughed out loud as he heard you comment. “a subway surfers character? but without the subways and the surfing,” he shook his head as he kept laughing, “you’re ridiculous.”

you playfully hit his arm, leaned back on the wall and watched he do the same. “you look cute when your face is all red.”

“yea, running non stop for about ten minutes usually does that to people. your face is also red,” he tilted his head and smirked. “are you saying that i also look cute right now?”

“youre saying it, not me,” you smiled. he looked in your eyes before glancing at your lips. “what? all the adrenaline is making you want to do something bold, han taesan?”

“maybe… why? will you stop me?” he placed his hands on your cheeks. “i dont know, guess you’ll have to do it to find out.”

“then ill gladly do it,” he closed the distance between your lips. his soft lips brushing against yours and making your heart beat faster. it felt like you were running away from the cops once again. the kiss deepened and was only broken later on because of the lack of breathing you both started to feel.

“so, you didnt stop me,” taesan rested his forehead against yours as he saw your smile. “you know, the adrenaline didnt let me. id never kiss you.”

he laughed and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “sure, pretty little thing. lets go back home and see if you still say that.”

[churino]

Design for cosmos and copy cosmos

The blue one is the original, yes shes a girl, no she's not pathfinder, a space shuttle acidentally brought to life during an altercation with the vehicons, when they couldn't have her, they made their own, but the copy was too perfect and turned on them

Cosmos was created during a mission where the throttlebots fought the vehicons over stolen tech at a launch pad in broad daylight, during the fight a cache of energon was spilled and cosmos was acidentally brought to life, turned to the autobot side by their compassion

She goes to show that "minibot" is a relative term

She's smaller than other space shuttles, but she's still huge. She's even taller in alternate mode. Cosmos is very touch starved as she doesn't get out much. People notice when something that big goes missing.

The kids were forced to initiate cosmos on the ways of their little club in secret, so the humans wouldn't find out, her height brought a lot of complications but it all worked out in the end. And they were able to fetch an autobot badge her size, but then,

The night after cosmos was created, the vehicons returned, flexing their exponentially growing skill with cybertronian tech they created a 1 to 1 copy of cosmos except male And convinced the big guy to fight the original

when the copy touched the original a feedback loop from their identical parts caused their minds to briefly scramble, allowing them to see each other's short lives up until that point, copy cosmos then quickly turned on his creators and joined the autobots, the two cosmos consider each other siblings, they can change colors on command so you never know which is which

While one is off having fun the other takes their place so the humans don't notice the missing shuttle, these are lonely and boring existances but its the best they have. The two are happy when the transformers eventually go public, since it means they get to actually do something with their lives.

Due to the feedback loop altering their systems both cosmos have the ability to float, the original Cosmo's spark having developed a mutation where it animates the graviton particles as part of her body the same way it animates metal allowing her to control gravity's effect on her, the same effect copied to her brother when they touch and recreate the feedback loop

With a space shuttle on their side and the number of their enemies growing, optimus prime sends cosmos into space to broadcast a message. Calling all autobots to earth, showing the allspark had been found on the planet. But the decepticons would highjack the broadcast and send their own message, calling for decepticon reinforcements. For years humanity has been sending signals into space in the hopes that someone out there would awnser our call. It's not our message that piqued their attention but now.. we'll be getting some visitors.

[secriden]

*hisses* YESSSSS GO OFF!!!! I wish I had more examples to add because I sadly am SO VERY NEW to Thai BL that all I've seen is LITA and Love Sea from her, but even then I feel like it's evident to me how GOOD she is at as you say "well-thought-out...[and] real" narratives and character journeys.

Sky spoke to me so hard because I was able to learn lessons about myself watching his journey through Love Sky. It was mind-blowing to me because I hadn't recognised the ways my trauma has been causing me to self-sabotage because they were in ways that appear to be harmless and in fact quite useful for living life efficiently (Sky is so very organised, so very self-sufficient, so very responsible and level headed and mature... and so, so, oh so heartachingly lonely). And it was incredibly healing to watch Prapai find ways to break through Sky's walls that specifically made Sky feel safe and also was necessary to make space for Sky let go. It gave me hope that I can dismantle my own someday (it's also, partly, why I am SO in love with Fadel's arc and why Style is so very important to me T_T).

But anyway, YESSSS thank you!! Listen I'm so grateful I joined Tumblr because watching LITA and then finding all these horribly dismissive and judgemental perspectives on Mame made me feel so small and wrong and I'm glad I'm not alone when people like you make posts like this! <3 Maybe Mame just isn't for everybody and that's okay, I get it, but please do let those of us who resonate with her stories enjoy her without feeling like there's something fundamentally wrong about us. Some of us don't need any help feeling that way.

"it's okay": how Prapai makes this true for Sky

in the early parts of Love Sky, we see several instances of Sky trying to comfort himself with this phrase; either after a nightmare/flashback or after something difficult/stressful happens.

Sky is attempting to cheer himself up, but each attempt is largely ineffective because he has no real basis for hope. there's a helplessness and disbelief in the way he says the phrase, like on some level Sky knows that things aren't going to magically get better because he's still being haunted by his past.

but this is one example of how Prapai is genuinely perfect for Sky. Prapai offers Sky the same words in comfort, but he accompanies it with very specific and immediately evidenced reasons why those words are true.

when he tells Sky "it's okay," Prapai isn't offering empty words, but accompanying actions that prove the claim he's making.

it's okay: i'm here - whoever is chasing you in your nightmares, they can't get to you because i'm here. you can rest, because i'm here to defend you.

it's okay: you've finally said it to me - it's out now, there's no more lies and no more misunderstandings. i love you and you love me and we both know this to be the truth. you're not alone in this and your love isn't unrequited. we can be together and you can love me, because i'm already in love with you.

it's okay: you don't need to be with someone else - i will never ask you to give yourself away to someone else. your love is precious; you are precious; and i won't ask you to break off pieces of yourself to give away. it's safe to give yourself fully to me because i will never ask you to give yourself to anyone else.

Prapai actively takes steps to ensure that Sky can begin to trust in these words again because his presence, actions and devotion is what proves them true.

[c0s-lettuce]

Not sure if this will make sense

But can you do when were Sergei first love comes back. Either he runs into her when he’s out hunting someone and it ends up being her father

a/n: hi nonnie, thanks for the request! i decided to write this in more of a blurb style, hope that's okay!

------

it's hard to forget first love, let alone one that was so strong. sergei was young when he met her, but he knew immediately. this was no passing fancy. that's why he ended it. it was his last act of control before he fell in too deep.

his new life was lonely, but he accepted it. he told himself he was sparing her from future heartbreak. it was for the best. he wasn't made for love, at least not anymore.

he would think about her less and less over the years. not necessarily because he stopped caring, but because he just didn't have the time.

but sometimes he couldn't help it. he'd hear a song that she used to like, or he'd walk past someone who resembled her. or sometimes, during sleepiness nights, he'd think of her completely unprompted.

work was a good distraction. sergei was following a rather long trail of people when he came across his next target. but the name gave him pause. he stared at the surname. her surname.

but the first name belonged to a man. sergei shook his head. there are eight billion people in this world. this was just a coincidence. a distant cousin, at most.

but soon, he found out that this man was in fact was her father. sergei remembered very little about him, except that he was distant and shady, much like his own father. perhaps that was a reason he got along so well with her.

but currently, sergei was at a loss. what was he supposed to do? abandon the hunt? find out more? try to find her?

no, no. he couldn't possibly... could he?

but after too much stalling, he decided he couldn't keep running from her forever. he had to face this. it was time.

------

she lived an unassuming life, doing what she needed to get by. it was a peaceful existence, if it wasn't for her father's constant pestering.

she didn't know the details of his criminal life, steering clear of him as soon as she was old enough. desperate to reconnect, he would regularly reach out to her and try to make amends.

it was all for show. she knew this. he was only trying to make himself feel better for being a shitty father. so, she ignored him.

it didn't take long for sergei to find her. however, it did take long for him to approach her. he watched her leave work one night. she was beautiful. more graceful, almost ethereal. but most of all, she was still... her.

she froze when she heard her name. the voice was low and rough, but strikingly familiar. she turned around and saw him, standing before her. sergei kravinoff.

for a moment, she could only stare. she was speechless. sergei couldn't help the satisfaction he felt from still having that effect on her.

"it's been a while," he said. "can we talk? over dinner, maybe?"

no, she wanted to say, as unpleasant memories threaten to surface. she didn't want anything to do with him.

sensing her hesitation, sergei added, "please? it's about your father."

she furrowed her brow. what does he know about her father? she wasn't sure what sergei was involved in these days, but if he's sought her out after all this time, it must be important.

finally she spoke, "alright, fine. lead the way."

sergei nodded, relieved. as they walked, he tried to calm his nerves. he wasn't here to reconnect. he was here strictly for business. but history is bound to repeat itself. he would start falling for her again. he would feel like he's losing control. but maybe this time, he won't run.

[judgeanon]

So How About That Batgirl #3

I didn't transplant my review of #2 here because there wasn't that much more to say, especially in regards to Lady Shiva (which is always the most important part of any comic with her in it for me) but #3, hooo boy, there's a lot to talk about for this one.

It introduces, or maybe just expands, a concept that kinda had me feeling a bit nervous but eventually won me over, and still has room for some fun narrative trickery. So I'm gonna go ahead and post my full review of the issue down here:

Picking off where #2 left off, #3 starts with Shiva and Cass on a train heading out of Gotham to meet some allies in their fight against the unburied. And Cass is noooot happy about it.

These opening pages follow the same character dynamic we've seen so far, with Cass openly rejecting her mother's remarks while inwardly rejecting her mother in general -- her inner monologue constantly reassuring herself that Shiva is a lonely manipulative monster while Cass is a good person, clearly to try to chase away the guilt of leaving everyone behind. The desperation in Cass' inner voice to paint Shiva as an unredeemable monster is very palpable and very good in the face of everything that's happened so far.

But the next pages made me a little concerned, with Shiva berating Cass while goading her about her relation with the batfamily. And while we've seen Shiva take jabs at that before, notably in Hill's Outsiders, back then it felt more pointed (and a little meta, what with the whole "He won't even let you be Batgirl" thing), while here Shiva's comments on languages, while true in a way, felt more openly cruel. Bordering on villainous.

Had the issue stayed this way, I would've been very worried about this whole arc turning into yet another milquetoast "Evil bio mom, good found family" yarn. But then the track switches.

The lion's share of the issue is dedicated to introducing the survivors of the Order of Shiva, who have dedicated thier lives not to just worship the deadliest hands on Earth, but to study, learn & better themselves through her example. Which is an idea that could've gone very wrong. Personally? I think this is kinnnnnda neat. Mostly.

The thing is, I've never been a fan of Shiva having any kind of cult or organization built around her. I think it's the kind of stuff that can weigh her down and, at worst, just be used to make her more of a pure villain, like in Dixon's RICHAR DRAGON run. But in this issue, the idea slowly won me over with how Brombal uses it to explore two overlooked aspects of Shiva:

The first is that Shiva, at her best, tends to inspire others. Just by entering a person's life, Shiva, tends to change their perceptions of reality, of what's possible. When Shiva entered Vic's life, she indirectly got him to question a lot of things about how he viewed reality. Same with Dinah and, yes, Cass herself. And this order seems to be entirely built on that idea of Shiva as someone who makes people rethink everything (albeit with way more altruism than Shiva herself).

The other thing this whole scene explores is Shiva's dualities and seeming contradictions, her nature as both destroyer and restorer. Which is something I'm always happy to see, especially nowadays. But this is also where my one big problem with this issue lies: it pays a lot of lip service to Shiva as a healer without actually showing it.

A mention is made of Cass rejecting Shiva's help, but an actual moment of Shiva using her healing skills, to me, would've really helped support High Priest's Jayesh gushing praise of that dual nature.

Just a couple of panels of her doing some funky pressure point head massage, it's all I'm asking.

Beyond that, I do have one nitpick that's just about the one thing that keeps me from fully embracing this idea, and that's Shiva's level of involvement with the order. Jayesh drops a hint of how he met Shiva, and she seems to care at least a little for him and for the Order, but there's not a lot said about how much she helped them build and maintain it.

If they're all people who ran into her, had their minds opened and built an order around their idea of her, that's one thing. If she helped them build it then that's another. Her small moments of caring do seem to indicate she's also warmed up to them, which would suggest some relatively high involvement, which I don't really like. I'd much prefer the order being something that Shiva is aware of but keeps at arm's length, a bunch of well-intentioned groupies that, like the issue says, follow her example rather than her orders. The bottom line is that I don't like anything that Shiva seems to be too attached to, but even if she was, I'm still mostly OK with this idea.

Anyway, the final leg of the issue is dedicated to a very entertaining chase and fight across the rest of the train that's a delight to see. And while my copy's all digital, I imagine it's way better in paper. Miyazawa and Spicer clearly have a lot of fun with these pages and it continues the run's interesting dynamic of Cass and Shiva never being fully in sync during a fight, always fighting each other as much as whoever's all around them.

But apart from the action, the thing that rang a lot of bells for me was Cass' narration as it insists again that Shiva is nothing but a monster and that Cass is nothing like her, eventually flowing towards a very heroic list of all her family members and their core traits that's very nice and heartwarming... and desperate.

Because the narration in this scene all reads to me like Cass arguing with herself. It reads desperately like her trying to chase away the dual thoughts that her mother may not be a complete monster AND that she herself, Cass, really is a lot like her mother.

Hell, the scene is literally Cass running away from Shiva, punching through what she sees as undisputable proof of her mother's lies while checklisting the family she does want and love, physically and mentally fighting against even the possibility of Shiva being worthy of more than her disgust. It's not Cass rejecting Shiva for being evil, it's her trying to reject the evidence that she may have something resembling good in her.

So the whole thing takes a very heroic cliche, Cass naming all these loved one to give her strength, and turns into a flailing flurry of mental gymnastics from Cass to allow herself to keep rejecting Shiva, to maintain this inner image of her as a monster while refusing any connection with her. And it's all pretty compelling stuff.

The issue then ends with one final surprise as Cass runs into the rest of Shiva's allies: a resurrected Nyssa Al-Ghul, Angel Breaker and a brand new character we'll apparently learn more about next month. So yeah, this was an interesting issue. The pacing of the arc is still a bit slow, but with all the players (hopefully) at the table and three issues to go, I hope the rest of the arc will pick up steam and keep chugging along smoothly.

I wasn't expecting the Order of Shiva to get much more play after #1. I certainly wasn't expecting them to get expanded like this. And I definitely didn't expect it to win me over this much. Minor quibbles aside, I gotta give props to Brombal for the obvious thought he's put when laying down these tracks for Shiva, and I'm definitely in for the rest of the ride.

(then again, maybe I'm just being blinded by the intense relatability of my man Jayesh over here. I feel you, brother. Hope you survive this arc)

[bitchslapblastoids]

Do you have any dnp fic recs that feel like home? Any length or topic, just those kind of fics that reading gives you the feeling of being home

wahhhh this is so sweet. asks like this always make me wish i used bookmarks on ao3 more. i'm forgetful about them and it always bums me out that there's no way to see every story you've left kudos for. (ok after typing that sentence, i went and installed a script that does show you the fics you've left kudos on as you scroll through your reading history, but it's definitely not perfect, so i can't rly recommend). i also don't re-read fic all that much; the few major re-reads that i return to semi-frequently and that truly feel like coming home bc they're so familiar are from diff fandoms. and truthfully, i don't actually read all that much phanfic. i'm so particular and have to be in just the right headspace for reading fic and have to have just the right stretch of time laid out in front of me and blah blah blah. which is to say, i feel like my recs can get repetitive because i know there are so many works i haven't explored yet, and i always have back-catalogues or new works that i want to catch up on.

but! here's what i put together: New horizons by @cityofphanchester. i'm sure i've recced this before, but I feel this fic in my bones and I think about it so, so often. it feels so cozy to me and i feel really at home in the author's writing style. i'll also add envelop the lonely places, which is literally about dan coming home from tour. it takes my breath away. and and the days after that, which is about phil visiting dan on tour. also lives in my bones. both feel like i, the reader, am coming home to their relationship.

@alittledizzy has countless fics that are so domestic and lovely, but i'll rec two bedrooms, in which dan goes to florida with the lesters. it's a fic i think of often and that makes me feel warm even though dan's fully experiencing a crisis in it lol.

@bassband's not in nottingham is also about dan finding a home in phil and ooooooh boy does it fucking get to me.

i'll also add an islet fic, because their work is all so lovely: make the yuletide gay (haven't read that one in a while but it still gives me a fuzzy feeling when i see it, so i'm gonna trust my gut)

here's a lovely one by dandrogynous that is so sweet and home-y: just need a light

@calvinahobbes has so many sweet fics, but here's one that has an especially soft space in my heart: bright

and honestly as silly as this sounds, i re-read bits and pieces of like a bowl of oranges sometimes. when i'm able to quiet my inner self-critic, their love story makes me feel very warm and at home in my own verse.

hope this scratches the itch you're looking for!

[mawlbone]

MARKED MINES - NIKTO

SNIPPET: The lingering sensation of pain is more than enough proof that you’re human enough to still feel the sharp sting of pain when you feel there’s no one there to hold you in all your numbness.

[CW: gender neutral reader, dom reader, mean reader, kidnapper reader, manipulative reader, insecure nikto, soft sex, dehumanization, stockholm syndrome, dubcon, unhealthy codependent relationship, mention of sh scars and brief vivid description of previous sexual assault and torture (not from nikto and reader), vomit, water boarding, knifeplay, masochist nikto, mild bloodplay, self depreciating thoughts, scarring, degradation, marking, touch-starved nikto, forced proximity, hand-holding, dry-humping, and lots of cuddling and a Kreuger appearance.]

[COMMENT: If you are sensitive to the topics listed above, I recommend you to read my other fics because yes, the warnings are heavy in this one. What is a happy ending is subjective to the reader’s opinion.]

Time touches all that is living. It’s the simplest fact that all men know.

It’s ever so present with the way the young burst into towering adults, the way they mature with fine lines growing onto one’s face, and the greying hair that sparkle onto one’s head once they turn back into little old creatures. But for all what time can touch, it cannot heal all wounds as much as the people like to preach it from their mighty ground that everything will eventually be alright.

Does it truly?

For what the brain cannot remember, the body pays in tenfold.

So it’ll desire a release. A means to end an illness all stuck in your head as a desperate measure to prove it’s all real and still there. Why else would one’s body constantly clutch over in pain trying to piece the fragments of an once clear image? All that stress, all that anger, and all those tears makes a terrible sight for everyone. It’s shameful. It’s not like one can control these emotions, much to the disappointment of the world.

Time comes and goes, and it’ll forever leaves everyone behind in its mess. For time does not heal all wounds. All it does is make you forget in the obscurity of itself.

Maybe that’s why Nikto is so desperate to be around people. People are permanent. People are alive. But why does he always feel so lonely in the company of others, even when he tries to escape it by fleeing to the emptiness of other rooms. Maybe it’s himself that he cannot stand to be around, he thinks as he collapses into the bushes, hissing as he clutched his stomach feeling the bullet inside his flesh. A failed mission, he was left behind. His fault for not paying attention.

It’s fine.

He’ll just make his way back again once he recover, he thinks, just barely dragging his body, following the lights in the woods to a little house hidden amongst the grasping branches of the forests.

Hopefully a good samaritan is nice enough to house him for a little while.

—

You always wanted a pet.

For all your assortment of critters you had over the years, despite all the love and care you can put into ensuring they get the best meals and enrichment. All of them had inevitably die to the hands of the clock and left in heartache.

Your family suggested that you find something else to accompany you instead, tired of you griefing over every animal you ever had. Young and old, big or small, fur or scales.

Animals are not meant for a human lifespan, no matter how long humans tried to domesticate them. So people were naturally your next choice, but a lifelong companion never last long anyways as much as you like to try again and again. Many failed dates, whether through online dating apps or setups from your friends all ultimately failed. None of them were half as loving or loyal as any ol’ hound you had before.

Hell, if anything they were worse.

So when a thump was heard at your door, you can only hold in a squeal seeing a collapsed man at your door. All big and brawny, a perfect pet. How perfect, you thought as you pulled your back to drag the man inside your home and down into your basement.

You don’t receive much visitors nowadays, simply hunting and fishing around the area to occupy yourself. Isolating yourself to the ends of the woods was what you prefer to the bustle of the city life. So nobody should mind if you keep another pet, right?

You got a big enough kennel for him down there, he’ll be all healthy again once you get that bullet sorted out.

—

Like all strays, Maybe you should had expected your new dog to be so reactive once he woke up bounded to your bed, cussing and all as he tugged against the chains holding his ankles back from grasping the bars of his cage. It was fairly spacious, if anything, more than what you’ll usually give, but the whole basement was designed to keep some guy’s exotic pet collection once before, so you suppose this dog of yours still perfectly suits the room’s purpose.

But damn was he a bitch to handle, biting your fingers every time you tried to feed him, barking at you whenever you tried to bond with him and even threating to kill you, calling you disgusting and pervert for keeping him down here. Seething anytime you come down to check on him and saying his men will come find him and torture you for what you done to him.

How mean.

That didn’t stop him from crying though when you held him down to clean him up, too weak to fight back from constantly spitting out your food as he shivered at the cold water wiping away the mess. There’s no bathroom in the basement after all, only a bucket to relieve himself in.

As much as, what your dog, Nikto, which he liked to calls himself, likes to bark at you. You learned he was terribly easy to break, absolutely despising being alone as you watched him from your cameras down below.

The constant whines, the pleading, the lack of time down there made it all too easy within the darkness of the room. You’ll watch him hold himself tight as his arm cling tight around his head or chest to protect himself crying and screaming, demanding you to come down. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find him whimpering quietly trying to relieve himself to ease his stress.

At first, he’ll turn his back to the camera trying to get off as he whines into the room unable to get his fix. But no longer he cares anymore once you dropped several of your old pillows and blankets to comfort him and watching him snuggle against them, a pillow settled underneath his hips to rut against as he presses into nose to your things.

What a freak, you thought as he watched him sigh and mewl so prettily, even taking a hand back to thrust back into his own fingers. Biting into the blankets to muffle his screams when he finally got his release.

But you’re impatient. You want a companion still.

His reactions were fun for you to bully him with every time you came down to tease him. You made it a routine to drop many of his meals off and leaving for multiple days on end to fuck with his concept of time. Seconds turn into hours, and days turn into months as you lied about what day is it everytime you come down. But eventually it got tiring, you gotbored with the same response over and over again anytime you try to be nice to Nikto.

Perhaps it’s true that you’re not fated for a lifelong companion, maybe this dog is not meant to be yours. So you gave up on him.

Your final test was when you left the cell and basement door ajar, no word directed at Nikto as he whined at you to let him go still. His voice softer, weaker now with the lack of water you give him after splashing his glass onto you. If he doesn’t want to stay here, fine. You won’t keep such an ungrateful thing here anymore if he keeps fighting back at you. You had a work trip to go to anyways back at the city.

He could be freed and gone from your house for all you could care once when you arrived back.

Though the last thing you could had expected was the sight of him sitting on your porch, just like the day you find him, dazed as you pulled into the driveway. Naked with nothing more his briefs and blanket strapped over his shoulders as he stared at you blankly, whining at you once more to ask why you left him as fat tears fall down his face.

You watch his struggle to stand up, wobbling as his hands reach outward trying to grasp you and apologizing for behaving so badly to you.

Oh… He thinks you’re a hallucination, you thought as he cutely stumbles over to you, sniffing in his sobs as he loudly cries your name. Looks like he’s could still be good dog after all, you hummed to yourself as you walked forward to allow him to collapse against you, taking him back to your house once more.

Finally he is properly broken in and all yours.

—

For what little Nikto can remember, between the grasps of many nitrile blue hands clenching his face and the sting of scalpels pushing onto his skin as if he was a human pincushion, he cannot for the life of him remember the faces of the many men that held him in that icy metal chair those long nights once ago.

A blessing or a curse?

He is unsure.

Perhaps he was too preoccupied in that moment taking in the circumstances of his fate as he rattled in those chains hissing from the sharp stings of thin cuts lined across his stomach as he is forced to endure hearing the laughter of the crowd that surrounded his form splashing him with cold water running down his naked form.

In that time, he was a showstopper. Their entertainer for them to please as they push and pull him all around. So it’s no wonder when he had threw up so violently over himself that he knocked himself out once those nitrite blues started crawling down his hips and grasping at his skin to cut further into. He remembers nothing further of that eventful day but the fade of hysterical laughter will always be drilled into his ears.

He doesn’t know who he is without his trauma anymore. It’s almost intimate to him of how he feels reassured with the numerous scars decorating his skin. It’s something that had become whom he is.

Almost a lover.

But, how do you explain that to someone? It’ll seem like to anyone that he doesn’t want to get better but he already lost so much of himself. He had already become so familiar with this sight that its disappearance will toss him further back into the ends of his mind to find himself back. This sight, these scars are what’s left of him, a reminder that’s he’s still undeniably human and one of them, one of you.

Back in the basement, at least you didn’t hit him, taunt him, or stop feeding him.

You’re different. You always allow him to touch you and he’ll feel soft skin, and not latex on his fingers. Instead of drills and mocking laughter, there’s you peering down on him and praising him and giving him easy affections as you pat down and take care of all his wounds.

Maybe that’s what he finds so fascinating about this sight, Nikto thinks as he watches you bandage his arms, gently scolding him after catching him picking his scabs all bloody again in the bathroom that night, deciding to not punish him.

He doesn’t know why he did it.

You two just had a nice romp that afternoon with you spoiling him hours on end. Constantly cuddling and caressing his face, even giving him plenty of attention to his dick, easing him from the mess of his mind. Every sweet croon of your voice as you squeezed him dry had him gasping for air, head too full of that overwhelming pleasure as you bullied him to tears as you pushed him over and over to spill over your hand until he was empty, leaving him fuzzy enough to sleep as you cleaned and kiss his cries quiet. A reward for behaving so well, you said.

So why did he had to go and fuck it all up and ruin all your trust, he was doing so well!

Was it to remind himself that good things don’t last long when he snuck out the bed that hour, that this much happiness doesn’t belong to him, that he needed a relief to remind him of whom he was? What he came from?

He isn’t sure.

None of the rest do either.

Despite your best efforts to help him from his vices, as nowadays, you help him shave after telling you doesn’t trust himself with something so sharp near his face anymore. Sweetly enough, you said you don’t mind him hairy anyways if he so wishes to keep it that way, it’s cute, as you smoothed your terribly warm hands on his chest and patting it like he’s some big dog.

Humiliating.

But damn if he’s isn’t enjoying your attention as you cradled his face, calling him your good boy and how he’s still cute and all even when his face is obscured by his mask and saying it’s little happy hoodie to calm him down, you said once day, dropping multiple pairs on the bed for him to try on. Even allowing him to gather your clothes to sleep with. Compared to before, the comfort of the mattress in your bedroom does wonders to his body compared to the one from the basement, as he rumbles happily as you scratch his tummy and letting him thump against the cushion all tucked up in your lap as you watched some old television.

He’s undeniably warm and full from dinner hours ago, too sated with all the heat surrounding but that didn’t stop his stomach from dropping once you place a knife on his tummy.

Your neck is already littered with his marks: from the long scratches down your back, the cheeky playful nips at your fingers, and the dark bruises littering your throat. You know he likes claiming you. But you always wondered if he would had liked a more permanent mark on him from you.

“Nikto”, he’ll hear you speak ever so softly as you dragged the blade against his stomach.

Your breath is hot and heavy, against the back of his neck. You can feel him shiver at the coldness of the blade against his skin goosebumps arise from it. Your voice is clear as you dragged the sharpened weapon against, he’s deadly still.

“Would you mind if I place my initials here”, as you pointed the tip of the blade just a hair away from piercing into him

Fuck…

Yeah he would like that.

He will really like that.

Belonging somewhere, belonging to you. It’ll means you won’t abandon him. You’re just proving that. Anyone one who can see it will know he belongs to you. You can only laugh at seeing the tent forming in his pants as you pulled his shirt away, ensuring you wipe your hands and his skin clean with an alcohol wipe clean before placing on a glove to ensure his wound won’t get infected.

You’ll be a bad owner after all if he got too hurt.

As you settled better behind him, back pressed your chest, it will be your own little secret between him and you, whenever he can see your initials as you gently press the knife against his stomach, ensuring you are pressing into the meat of his lower tummy. No need to actually kill your doggie by cutting into an artery or something.

Slow and precise, you made sure to keep a hand on Nikto’s chest so he won’t move as your made your cuts onto his skin. One by one, a letter formed onto his skin as Nikto hitched his breath, feeling the familiar sharp stings pressing onto his skin.

Soon enough, you were finished with your work as you wiped away the blood and begin cleaning yourself up as you cleaned the cuts with some alcohol spray and pressing a bandage over it. All while praising your boy for behaving so well as Nikto pants away.

You’ll laugh seeing the tent in his jeans as you cooed the man for behaving so well, though you had to swat away Nikto’s hands from pressing down on the wound, however assuring him that since it’s only light cuts that it’ll heal soon and he can admire it later. As he lift his head up, you had little moments to prepare yourself as he flipped himself over to tackle you onto the bed, licking your face as he nuzzled into your neck thanking you for keeping him.

Time will touch all that is yours, but perhaps time will allow you to keep Nikto until your eventual end.

How sweet.

—

Though you will have to do something about that strange little green netted man who keeps popping up in your woods and disrupting your traps.

Maybe you’ll ought to get Nikto a little friend to occupy himself. He did say something about his men finding you.

The more the merrier, right?

[inhuman-obey-me]

Barbatos and 8 because chaos 😈😈😈 (you guys are my favs congrats of 100k!!!!!)

Barbatos + 8: "Dead Walk" - Redhook

Rewriting the past means living without consequences. What freedom, for a demon to exist this way.

"Did you do something you need to atone for?"

Barbatos chuckles regretfully across the table at you.

"Indeed. Something I can never hope to undo."

He begins to reach over the table as if to take your hand, but he pauses just before his fingers can touch yours and withdraws, seemingly thinking better of it.

"A long time ago, before I came to serve the Young Master, I used to travel through the realms freely. Sometimes even through space and time. I never thought to think twice about the feelings of others I met along the way…nor in how my actions may or may not affect them."

Yes, his life back then — a life without consequences, or so he'd thought. Pop a portal here, twist a timeline there, and it was as though he'd never been there at all. Back then, it was nothing more to him than a trivial use of his power, and who was anyone to tell such a powerful demon not to do as he liked?

Well, you, for one. That's always been something charmingly strange about you — your willingness to throw yourself in harm's way and assert your opinion of how those as powerful as those demon brothers should act, even before you had made your pacts with them.

You tilt your head questioningly at him, waiting for him to continue, and he pulls back to himself, putting on a simple smile to reassure you.

"It was that mindset that led to me making a terrible mistake. One that…ended up having a great effect on the lives of Solomon and the Young Master."

He goes quiet again, remembering the moment he'd realized what he'd done — the desperate tremble in the young prince's voice, the lonely tears in his little eyes as he begged his one rare visitor to stay with him at the castle. He'd been too young to understand that Barbatos himself was the reason he lived that way.

If he were to find out now, of course, Barbatos fears how things would change. Diavolo is too just to allow Barbatos to assign himself this penitence forever, even if he did genuinely take joy in keeping himself by the royal's side. He didn't mind never using his powers without explicit instruction from his master; it had been his own suggestion. And was it so bad to chain himself, really, if he'd placed the shackles upon himself?

He'd tasted enough freedom to come to regret it.

"What kind of effect?" you prod, pulling him back to the present again with a tug on his hands, which he'd apparently placed over yours after all while lost in his thoughts.

He frowns and sits back abruptly. "I am not able to tell you the details of that yet," he snaps, immediately regretting how harsh the words come out. He tries again, more gently, "Forgive me for bringing it up. I didn't mean for the conversation to turn this way. It's rare for me to start talking about myself."

After all, it wouldn't do for the past to come back to haunt him. He'd gotten by this long without his secrets coming out; he didn't intend to start revealing them now.

But then, why had he confessed to you even this much?

"Perhaps a part of me just wanted you to understand a little more about myself."

You blush a little bit, bringing another careful smile to his face.

A part of him — just a small part, one he's suppressed for centuries now — thinks of how nice it would be to affect your feelings, your life. To leave some impression of his existence upon you.

Why else would he want you to understand him?

He feels the temptation to tell you on his tongue, in his teeth.

But, no. He'd decided to bury that old self — nailed the coffin shut on it, and wouldn't let it rise again. So that the consequences he'd always escaped wouldn't bury everything he cared about now.

That past must remain secret.

He won't go back to what he's always been.

[miss-tc-nova]

A Lonely Fear - Malleus Draconia x Reader

I am SO sorry this took so long! I actually really fell in love with this idea, but struggled with getting from A to B as usual. Also, as you can see, this accidentally turned into one of my mediumer ones. Oops. Oh well. It's not perfect, but I hope you enjoy!

Premise: The prefect rejects Malleus's offer at living longer but realizes it was a mistake

Words: 1,759

~~~~~

               “Do you not want that?”

               “N-No!”

               Leaning against the stone wall, I rest a hand to my chest, heart thrumming beneath my fingers. Sure, I’d run all the way from Ramshackle to the college castle, but that’s only part of the reason for my rapid pulse.

               Malleus Draconia, an extraordinary mage and noble royal fae, has very little grasp on just how imposing his world is to mortals like me. This realm of magic alone is intimidating—leaving me near helpless to the whims of my classmates—but to even fathom the reality of the fae is like a bottomless pit of unknown.

               Yet that is exactly what he offered me.

               The future king of Briar Valley offered to extend my time among the living, proudly displaying the gem he’d acquired. He was so pleased with his discovery, but I just couldn’t share that sentiment. For my own weakness, I declined. Then bolted.

               Now here I stand, trying ot rein in the adrenaline, all the while, that look of disappointment amasses a guilt in the pit of my stomach. There’s nothing to do about it now, however, as the piercing bell signals the beginning of the next class.

~~~~~

               Hues of orange and violet have only just begun to blossom across the sky. Even now, as I trudge towards the Hall of Mirrors, I can’t help thinking of that somber expression. It interrupts my every though like a plague, gnawing at my heart for the hurt I’ve caused. I should’ve explained myself, but at the very least, I owe Malleus an apology for my poor reaction.

               Stepping through the doors of the Diasomnia dorm, I see neither hide nor hair of the dragon but someone else spots me. The petit junior waves me closer as the sophomore pours his tea, moving on to the freshman’s.

               “If it isn’t the Ramshackle prefect,” Lilia greets. “Care to join us for a cup of tea? Chamomile is good for clearing one’s mind after a stressful day.”

               “Uh, maybe next time. Have you guys seen Malleus?”

               Ruby eyes find the ceiling in thought. “Not since this morning. But you know full well that he’s the wandering type.”

               “My liege said he had an important task to tend to today.” Sebek’s expression turns crestfallen. “But he declined to let me aid him.”

               “He looked pretty excited when he left,” Silver adds, taking his seat.

               Well that doesn’t help me at all.

               Even worse, Lilia remains ever observant, catching my disappointment. “Is something the matter? Did you two get into a little spat?” That cheeky grin attempts to lighten the mood. “Seven help that boy if so.”

               My head shakes. “No, I…”

               The three stare at me, mostly patiently waiting for me to continue. I suppose if anyone could help me through this, it would be them.

               I take the fourth seat at the table.

               “He came to Ramshackle during break to ask…” I hesitate, not even sure how exactly put it into words. “To ask an odd question and I kind of just…ran away.”

               Sebek leans forward. “You ran away while my liege spoke to you?!”

               Fingers fidget against one another. “I should’ve handled it better and I’m afraid I hurt his feelings, so I was just hoping to find him and maybe explain myself.” Shoulders droop with a sigh. “But I’m not even sure how to do that. Not that it matters if I can’t even find him. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame him if he doesn’t wanna see me.”

               Silver tilts his head. “You said he asked you an odd question. What do you mean by odd?”

               I take a second to mull over my words. “He showed me some sort of crystal and said he wanted to extend my lifespan…”

               Suddenly, Lilia snorts into his drink, spilling tea everywhere and descending into a coughing fit.

               Silver’s jaw drops as he sits straight. “He offered that to you?!”

               “HOW DARE YOU!” Sebek roars, standing so quickly he topples his chair.

               Sebek goes ignored for another usual outburst, but Silver and Lilia’s reactions do not bring any sort of comfort.

               “I figured it was uncommon, but is it that unusual?” I ask, hoping for a response denying the question.

               They way Silver looks at me causes my every muscle to tense—like I’ve been condemned.

               “It’s illegal.”

               Surely, he’s joking. There’s no way Malleus would do something unlawful, let alone for me.

               Right?

               This time, ignoring Sebek is no option as he snags my jacket, tearing me from my seat and rattling me as he shouts. “YOU DARE THINK YOURSELF DESERVING OF MAKING MY LIEGE A CRIMINAL?!”

               “Huh?!”

               “Sebek, that’s enough.” Dragging a sleeve across his mouth, Lilia, too, stands.

               Eyes wide with absolute rage, he continues his rampage. “YOU THINK A MERE HUMAN LIKE YOU IS WORTH ASKING THE GREAT MALLEUS DRACONIA TO BREAK FAE LAW?!”

               “Sebek!”

               Silver starts for the younger man, but Lilia beats him to it. Hand on my shoulder, he easily separates us with a shove that sends Sebek staggering.

               “I said enough.” Though Lilia’s voice remains steady and low, a firm note freezes the air.

               Direct target of the command, Sebek shrinks back. At the waist he bends. “M-My apologies, sir.”

               I, too, recoil as Lilia turns on me, yet for me the fae holds only empathy.

               “First of all, giving extended life to another became illegal when Briar Valley was at war. By placing the death penalty on both the giver and the receiver, the senate hoped to dissuade any who might betray the crown and support the humans.” Though he speaks of illegalities and war, the junior is actually quite soft in speaking to me. “Second, the spell required an exceptionally large supply of magic and the aid of a particular crystal thought to no longer exist. But you saw it, didn’t you.”

               My voice nearly fails, words eeking out in a quite whisper. “B-But I don’t want that. I…I can’t.”

               Lilia’s brows furrow with pity. “I understand that but…Malleus is one of the last dragons left.”

               “Lilia…” Silver’s call is ignored.

               Shoulders raised, I back away. “I-I-I can’t do it. I just can’t. Maybe it’s weakness but I can’t take the thought of living longer. Living on while everyone I care about passes on—I can’t stand it. It’s freaking me out. I don’t want to suffer that kind of existence.”

               Taking my hands, Lilia squeezes firmly while his eyes beg for my understanding.

               “But he has to.”

               Feeling as though the curtain has been swept open, I understand now. And it hits harder than all the fear infesting my bones.

               Pulling away from Lilia, I head for the door despite Silver calling out to me. With barely any idea where I’m going, my feet carry me through the Diasomnia dorm and straight out the Hall of Mirrors. My eyes search frantically, finding nothing but the rush to Ramshackle continues.

               A breath of relief passes my lips as I finally spot the figure strolling the steps towards the rundown dorm.

               The man turns just as I approach, barely even budging as I slam straight into him. My guilt grips at his back, shame hiding in his chest.

               “I’m so sorry!”

               My name falls from his lips in concern.

               “I didn’t want to live longer than everyone! I’m afraid of being alone and watching all my friends disappear! I don’t want to lose them!” A shiver wracks my spine, a sting burning in my eyes. “I didn’t realize that’s exactly what you were doing! I’m sorry!”

               There’s hesitation, almost bafflement at my outburst. That surprise soon softens and a palm presses to my back in consolation.

               “It’s alright,” he says, his voice laced with disappointment. “You don’t—”

               “No! It’s not alright!” I’m such a child, crying as I look up at him. “Nobody deserves that! Nobody deserves to be alone!”

               Malleus’s eyes widen, but I can feel the tension creeping over him in the way he holds me. It shows even more in his cautious words.

               “You don’t have to do this for my sake. I promise I’ll be alright if you don’t.”

               My head shakes. It’s not fair. I have a choice—I can back out of this right now and live as a naïve human—but Malleus never had that choice. No matter what he does, he’s meant to bear witness to time and all the tragedies it brings all on his own. His offer was his own attempt at salvation and, like a fool, I didn’t see it. But I do now and, as much as the idea terrifies me, I refuse to let him suffer on his own.

               One hand releases its grip on his jacket to smear the tears across my face. “I don’t want you to be alone. I want to be there…if you want me to be.”

               For a moment, Malleus simply stares and I consider that perhaps he’s changed his mind. Then his grip tightens and his head bows, leaning against my own.

               “Thank you,” he mutters, clinging barely to his composure.

               I manage a meager laugh. “I already want to spend all my time with you—surely a ‘few’ more years won’t hurt.”

               “And I shall make every one worthwhile.”

               “If we’re to be fugitives, I certainly hope so.”

               Face filled with apprehension, Malleus leans back. “You knew it would be forbidden yet you still came to accept my offer?”

               I let my gaze lower to trace the stripes of his tie. “I guess I just accepted that, one way or another, we’d be in this together.”

               He appears briefly dumbfounded. Then, even with a stray tear or two rolling down his face, Malleus begins to laugh.

               “You never cease to amaze, Child of Man. And for that, I love you.”

               There’s a stutter in my chest as I process what he just said. He too seems to catch what must’ve simply slipped, but not before I lunge again, throwing my arms around his neck in a vice grip that seems all too ineffective against the fae. Even my full weight fazes him less than the embrace itself as he keeps my feet from the ground. For me though, this new vantage point gives me the perfect elevation to press my lips to his.

               Tension snares his every muscle, but quickly melts to accept my gesture as though I grant the greatest blessing of all.

               Letting the kiss break, I rest my forehead against his, unable to keep the elation at bay.

               “I love you too.”

~~~~~

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[mizusbabygirl]

special ᥫ᭡. 🐰

futa kang no-eul x fem reader ────୨ৎ──── cw: no-eul has a dick (sorry to all the dick hating lesbians), reader gives no-eul a handjob, reader gets degraded by no-eul, no-eul has a drinking problem, no-eul is a horndog and will possibly fuck you in public if she wanted to, no-eul breeds you, reader has a pregnancy scare

you woke up after pulling an all nighter for no reason. you rolled out of your bed and looked at the clock to see that it was 4 pm and that meant that you basically spent the entire day asleep. you didn’t even know if it would be appropriate to even eat breakfast at this hour so you went to the kitchen and chewed on a breadstick to get rid of your hunger.

you didn’t really have any friends besides this woman who lives in her car. you don’t remember how you met her but all you know is that you occasionally go to her car to get her cigarettes, soju and beer bottles.

that evening, you went to the local convenience store to buy a few beer bottles for her since you haven’t seen her in over a week so she must’ve thought you forgot about her. as you made your way out of the shop, holding a bag full of beer bottles, you went back into the shop to buy a small cake.

it was pretty foggy outside so it made it quite hard for you to find your way through the fog. soon after, you found her car parked in the same lonely parking lot you’ve always found her in. without hesitation you walked up to it and knocked on the window.

no one answered, so you took a closer look into the window to find her sleeping. you found yourself admiring her sleeping soundly like a baby. suddenly, she got up and opened the door for you.

“no-eul, i brought you seven beers and a cake for us to share,” you said with enthusiasm but her face looked sad. her face looked like she has been crying a lot. her eyes looked teary and sad and you felt pity for her so you got closer to her. “what’s wrong?” you ask her as you wiped her tears with your thumbs. she didn’t answer you but instead she pulled out one of the beer cans you bought and she pried up the can’s tab with her index finger and chugged the beer down. your eyes widened with amaze as she squished the can flat with her hands and dropped it aside.

“you can have some, you bought them,” no-eul spoke up but her voice sounded raspy. you got worried that she might’ve catched a cold. you refused her suggestion since you hate the taste of beer or any alcoholic beverage in general.

she chugged down beer after beer after the bag was empty. once she was down to the last one, she looked frustrated to find out that the bag was empty. “i’m sorry i couldn’t get you more! i promise, next time i’ll bring you fifteen cans!” you apologized as you noticed her eyes slowly closing.

“mhm…” no-eul mumbled as she fell asleep on your lap, making it impossible for you to leave.

you noticed a large bump growing in her pants which made you worry a bit but you didn’t want to wake her up for that so you fell asleep as well.

as you were lost in your own sleep, you began to hear wet slapping noises but you were too lost in your sleep to even try to make an effort to wake up. you began hearing whines and moans which really made you want to wake up to see what the fuck was happening.

your eyes flew open and looked around the dark car only to find no-eul zipping up her pants and buckling her belt. “no-eul, were you fingering yourself?” you asked with a shaky voice as she nodded her head. “well not exactly— you see—,” she hesitated. your face looked even more worried wondering what intimate thing she was doing. the worry in your face caused her to start sweating, drops of sweat beading her forehead.

“please don’t tell anyone—i have a special body type..” no-eul said as she gripped onto your wrist, not allowing you to leave the vehicle. “may i see?..” you asked with curiosity. no-eul slowly unbuckled her belt and unzipped her pants, pulling down her boxers and letting out 8 inches of hard dick spring out.

your jaw dropped; you’ve never seen something like this, you felt mesmerized like a child being brought to the amusement park for the first time. “holy fuck. were you born like this?” you leaned in to take a closer look at it as she nodded.

the first thought in your mind was to go ahead and wrap your hand around her cock.

“i’m fucking crazy for even thinking about this,” you thought to yourself.

the silence in that moment was loud, you could even hear your own heart pounding in your chest. you reached your hand over and wrapped your hand around her large shaft causing her to gasp out.

it felt sticky, it felt right. you ran your hand up and down her throbbing dick, precum dripping on her tip. “you weren’t really fingering yourself, were you?” you giggled as you continued giving her a handjob. moans escaped from no-eul’s mouth, her dick growing harder and bigger as you touched the precum to trace it around her tip.

stroke after stroke, her dick ended up being fully covered in precum and her whines and moans made you want to go faster. “i’m gon’ cum, i’m gon’ cum,” no-eul repeated countless of times, giving you the sign that she was about to release.

finally, she let out a long rope of hot sticky seed out of her hardened used up cock. “you fucking slut..” she murmured as her eyes rolled up, shooting out her last cum shot.

“wish i could shoot that load inside you, baby,” no-eul murmured before falling asleep again with her cock still out.

you leaned into her ear and whispered, “let’s take this to my home,” you gave her dick a stroke “it looks like it still wants to release another load,” you said while giving her a wink.

she smiled at your suggestion. she buckled her belt and zipped up her pants, already looking forward to give you her best in your home.

you were stripped naked, her hands on your tits, roaming her hands around them, teasing your nipples. your body laying on your bed, your legs lifted with your knees against your chest, making you ready for her cock to enter you.

“oh fuck, i can’t resist you, oh fuck,” no-eul said while impatiently undressing herself, throwing her shirt over her head (she doesn’t wear a bra by the way so you got to see her tits), unbuckling her belt, unzipping her pants and pulling them down along with her boxers.

she spread open your thighs forcefully, her cock growing hard. “i’ll make it fucking fit,” she said as she aligned the tip of her cock against your pussy, tracing it around, getting your pussy wet and slippery. she finally slipped it right in, making a moan come out of your mouth.

her thrusts started off slow and gentle but she looked like she wanted more. “it’s too tight..” she said, giving your right tit a hard squeeze. her thrusts began accelerating, her dick adjusting to the tightness of your pussy.

you moan and moan, saliva dripping out of your mouth by the feeling of your pussy getting stretched out by her monster cock.

your boobs jiggled as she fucked you harder and faster, making the scene more pornographic. wet slapping sounds with the mix of the moans of both yours and no-eul’s filled the room quick.

her cock slid up to your clit accidentally, making her grunt and she used her right hand to stick it back inside of you. her moves were drastic, aggressive and scary. you could’ve sworn her cock could easily demolish your womb if she wanted it to.

just before you were about to squirt, she released a large amount of hot seed into your womb. she thrusted her dick as deep as she could inside of you to unleash every last drop of cum she had in her.

“i’m not done yet, i’m going to cum inside you till my sack is fucking empty,” no-eul uttered as she pulled out, her cum spilling out of your pussy. you were out of breath, you couldn’t say a word but you felt incredibly horny.

no-eul fucked you in various different positions throughout that night, breeding your pussy over and over again.

when you finished riding her cock, you leaned in to give her a kiss on her cheek, as a way to show some affection to her. you grew severely attached to her to the point where you refused to use any sort of protection so you’ll end up pregnant with her baby.

“you’ll be a good mommy, i promise,” no-eul remarked as she let out her last load inside of you, making you scream out loud.

you definitely got pregnant after that incident, don’t worry

making a futa se-mi (player 380) x fem reader soon!