#I JUST WANT HRT PLEASE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oetscop · 6 months ago

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please why was the lady i just talked to at planned parenthood so not nice to me what da hell...i just want my boy goo PLEASE

#tongue #the bottle only says its 60 doses why did. they give me that. when they knew i wouldnt be able to refill it #like again its a controlled substance i cannot do refills over the phone BUT LIKE #WHY ONLY GIVE ME A TWO MONTH SUPPLY!!!!!#WHEN THE FIRST FOLLOW UP ISNT FOR THREE MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!#i didnt even like get to ask any questions bc she was like. kind rude :(#like she cut me off twice #when she was explaining that she contacted the pharmacy and theyd get back to me in 48 hours she didnt #tell me how #she didnt even say pharmacy she jusf said 'your provider' ??#and so i was like. how will i know will they contact you back or like. me? is it a phone call or an email like #AND SHE JUST SIGHED AND REPEATED IT AND SAID THE PHARMACY WOULD CALL ME #LIKE GIRL WHAT DID I DO TO YOU 😭#I JUST WANT HRT PLEASE #THIS BITCH HAD ME GROVELING

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rusty25 · 5 months ago

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what nobody tells you when you start transitioning is that testosterone causes cognitive regression. i've been on t for almost 5 months now and during that time i lost friends, hell i lost my best friend, made mistakes at work and i am on the worst terms ever with my mom. these things were all preventable if only i had acted a bit more maturely. but i didn't bc currently i possess the risk assessment of a 15 yo child. i thought things would be okay but they weren't. and this is all too familiar cuz the last time i was plotting and scheming like this and was failing miserably at it was 6 years ago. puberty sucked for the first time around for me and it sucks just as much rn

#lgbtq #lgbt #trans #transmasc #transgender #lgbtq+#ftm #testosterone #testosterone hrt #please spread #second puberty #and i know this is no excuse for my behaviour #but now i know the reason why #please forgive me #i just want this awkward phase to end

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rotteneldritchhorror · 8 months ago

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Kristen is transmasc out of spite and for the body hair

Fabian is transfemme for the soft skin and elegance

#they both go on HRT for like— a year and get off it as soon as they get what they want and tbh I love that for them #Kristen desperately wants thick body hair and a happy trail lol #and to be EVEN QUEERER to fuck with her parents #Fabian just thinks femininity is aesthetically pleasing and would love like— the elegance of soft skin- soft curves- nicer hair- etc #(also Billie seacaster is so supportive— he definitely out of nowhere starts switching to ‘DARLING GIRL!!!’ until Fabian clarifies that +#+ he’s still also a man- he’s just embracing the beauty of femininity more (and might be a girlboy but shhh))#🪲#fantasy high headcanons #d20 fh #d20 fhjy #d20 fhsy #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy #fhsy #dimension 20 fantasy high #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high freshman year #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high sophomore year #d20 headcanons #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #kristen applebees #kristen chilis applebees #tfem Fabian seacaster #tmasc Kristen applebees

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lionblaze03-2 · 8 months ago

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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey #Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else #It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize #You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt #Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc #Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t #And it gives you a crisis at age 14 #Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice #and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it #Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something #I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir #Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag #I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something #More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please #doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue #But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today #(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it #TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start #Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything #Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing #I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation #But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south #It certainly does not help and can be disheartening #Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious #lion’s lair

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blackwaxidol · 7 months ago

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I think I just want HRT to be as casual as humanly possible like I don't want anyone to make a big deal out of it... treat it as nothing... I just don't want anyone to see or think of me in that kind of way. I am very very afraid.

#''This is your sign to get on HRT'' posts are still like dashboard terrorism for me because I am a very anxious person...#I don't know... Nervous enough to make me sick. Is it possible to... I don't know what is in the realm of possibility.#I don't know if I want that kind of thing or not.#I think my disposition is becoming that I don't care or that I feel pressured into it and that it is making me aggressively compliant.#A sort of ''FINE I'll fucking do it now leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone'' burning anger.#''Are you happy now?'' sort of rage. What do I even have to prove. It is irrational... It is all so irrational...#Or is it fear... sometimes when I am scared my only expression of it is aggression.#I don't know. I don't think I think rationally about this anymore.#I am just intensely miserable to consider it.#delete later.#Please ask if you don't understand something I mean... Sorry I am quite frightened.

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mauv-the-bluest-cat-ever · 3 days ago

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i have my benefits of not being out as trans (which is. only one really but it is not being harassed because i dont attract attention) but it fucks with my sense of self

#i am genderless. i am some sort of man. i am a girl that wants/tries on a costume so she can play as a most minimal pastiche of a man #i am nothing and i am agender #i am a liar that lies about being a woman. i am still a woman when strangers perceive me as anything but (something that i want from them)#i almost feel like i prove terf's point about “poor confused girls” just by existing.#i know this is not true but holly shit actually expressing myself in the way i wouldv've wanted physically would've fucking helped #which admittedly. i dont even try with it nowadays. as much as i want it and perhaps maybe need it it feels hopeless to try #and its not even just physical part. i just dont know how to describe it #i should not just give up on it because some motherfuckers above just fuck shit up and sometimes specifically target people like me.#i should resist. and yet #the binary gender mixing with a feeling that i lie forever and ever (whish is admittedly big bc i usually dont feel bad about act of lying)#i see posts that are akin to “trans person / people please dont kill yourself we need you/you all”#and i just keep thinking why. whats the point. is it a much of a loss really if some One Random trans kills itself #or i should just rot until a day. an opportunity when i can finally make myself #and the obvious answer is that i Should work for that day to come. i in fact stoked to start hrt i am not afraid of transition #but with stuff just stacked against it. what the point #i cant in good conscious call myself trans just even in general at this rate tbh #mauv's meowing

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ashersbraincell · 3 months ago

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Genuinely worried that I’ll develop trich aswell

mostly because a recent picking area on my forehead has been encroaching closer and closer to my hair line.

I think I would actually never leave my house again ffs. Like I’m already fucking repulsive to look at and my hair’s like the one thing I like about my appearance. Ffs.

I’m gonna die alone

#negative self talk #negative self image #tagging those just in case #trichotillomania #trich #dermatillomania #excoriation disorder #skin picking #skin picking disorder #it’s right in the dead center of my forehead too 😀#so I couldn’t even try to style my hair to cover the balding if I tried #the literally ONE good thing that can come from this is taking away my one reason for not going on hrt #bc fuck it if ima loose my hair anyway there’s really nothing holding me back #okay maybe facial hair could become a nightmare with my picking 🙂#especially if I accidentally cut while shaving or something #really don’t fancy risking it all with ingrown hairs #I’m never going to be happy am I #I just have to accept the fact that I will never feel aesthetically pleasing ever #but I can’t because it hurts #it hurts so fucking much when someone wants to take a picture of me #or ffs if I’m just chilling with someone within the vicinity of a reflective surface #and I’m having a good time and feeling silly and all of a sudden I catch a glimpse of my ugly mf mug #and I wonder if the name-calling and harassment was justified #and whether everyone around me sees me as repulsive or just pities me #I’m so fucking unlovable #asher's ramblings

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early-sxnsets · 8 months ago

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transphobes attacking me on insta for taking HRT after i literally explain that T saved my life by stopping my near-constant menstrual linked-hormonal seizures that i've been having since i was abt 16ish.... they don't actually care if it literally is keeping you alive in a medical sense they want you dead because you don't hate that you're not cis regardless

#pre-T i was never sure if i wanted HRT but after starting T it literally fucking saved my life and i can't imagine going back #full on. my roommates used to have to sit with me for hours in case i choked and died while going in and out of sei #seizures #it was terrifying for me AND them. i would have no thought going through my head besides 'please dont let me die like this'#HRT literally saved my life. it has been the ONLY thing to stop such aggressive and regularly seizures #and while im still disabled im at least not worried ALL THE TIME i'll die suddenly from this struggle #cis people would literally rather me DEAD than being ok with facial hair growth in exchange for no seizures #im a little drinkie i apologize for ranting. im just genuinely so upset objectively #someone said im ABUSING hormones.....#i had an episode in late 2021 that i was in and out of a seizing state for 2 hours. TWO HOURS.#the longest episode i've had since starting T over a year ago was maybe 20 seconds #i feel sick at the idea that people want me to suffer so significantly because they don't like that i'm enjoying the gender euphoria too #fuck. anyway.#rant #ig.....#alcohol tw

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diagnosedaskiwi · 6 months ago

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1200 fffffffffucking bucks and 18 hours total travel time to go to a god damn doctors appointment for an HOURRRR

#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #please. please i just want hrt. i am so tired of monkey dancing #.txt #i hate this fUCKING COUNTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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disturbedgent · 6 months ago

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Ykw my pharmacy gave me the needles to start T but they never gave me the testosterone. Like I've got 4 syringes and then another 4 replacement needles but they never gave me the actual T vial. Just lemme get my second puberty done with please? Please? Please? Please? Pl

#trans #transgender #trans guy #ftm #euuuugh #hrt #ftm hrt #this is like the biggest part of my transition #ive been waiting 4 years #PLEASE #I JUST WANT MY BOY JUICE #GIVE ME MY LOWER VOICE AND HAIRYNESS #ffs

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buysomecheese · 1 year ago

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I hope I get hired at this Starbucks this is the second time they’ve given me a drink on the house

#last time I had a gift card that I Thought was for $20 but it was for $5 (?? idk how I mixed that up)#and my cashier put my drink under his name so I didn’t have to pay with my own money #and this time I came in just to ask after the hiring manager (it’s been almost a week since I applied I just like to follow up y’know)#and then I was like ‘while I’m here might as well get a fun little drink’ and my cashier this time said it was on the house today hello??#win but what is Happening #I feel a bit bad one of my current coworkers/peers has been trying to #-get a job at a Starbucks she Hates our job #I just need more money and better insurance chances to pay for HRT I’m worried I’m gonna like. be cut off or something #anyways hoping for Job please please #I want HRT please 🙏🙏🙏

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arielthedaydreamer · 2 years ago

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Can my voice, like, stop dropping??? I'm lowkey getting scared

#I'm a lil more than a month on T #and I went from mezzo soprano to almost baritone already #not that I don't like it but also please god save me #I just wanted to be able to sing #non binary #transmasc #ftm #transgender #lgbt #trans #testosterone #ftm hrt #genderfluid

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kalashtars · 2 years ago

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bro where can i even live at this point

#damien.txt #i want to move out of the u.s. so bad #like. so unbelievably bad. so so so bad.#first of all because like. im trans & the political climate here is really fucking bad #but second of all. i just like. hate living here? like idk how to explain it exactly #but i kinda hate the culture generally... like this is a silly way to say it but i hate the vibes america has #like idk! i want to live in a walkable city & i want to live somewhere that has a history #but where do i get that without also like. either sacrificing my access to hrt or just continuing to experience shit treatment #i need the moral panic around trans people to like. fucking die rn. please. for the love of god.#i just want to go to grad school in the uk and study cool little historical movements why is it so hard #please im dying out here

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majoringinsarcasm · 2 years ago

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Remember when they could pretend all the anti trans bills were to protect children from predators and now that want to just. Stop anyone ever from transitioning?

#transphobia #I’m not one to wish death on real people often but Trumple and many others who are pushing for this shit I wish you a very quick death #it’s so fucking funny how they convinced ppl children are getting surgeries at like age 12 #when grown ass adults can’t even decide to have them tubes tied or orgasms removed #when there are children in abusive homes who reach out for help but are ignored bc they are seen as toruble makers or the parents just lie #but like ten people can hold the majority of the wealth in one country #I’m not even out to anyone I don’t even know if I want any kind of surgery #but so many people are going to kill themselves if this kind of shit passes #so many people who are already on HRT or other hormones will mill themselves if that is taken away #so many scared teens and young adults who had their hearts set on one day TRYING hormones and socially translating will mill themselves #and politicians do not care. it was NEVER about children bc the children are who they are killing #I am just. die please all of you if you can fish it out I order you to take it

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cartoonghosts · 22 days ago

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talking to my mother without fail manages to suck the joy out of me and remind me why I want to kill myself

#I hate her I hate her I hate her I fucking hate her #Somone come save me I just need someone to be near me agreeinf that its complete fucking bullshit #She asked me what I want for the solstice and the moment I mentionrd something that I want that isnt tiny and inconsequential #She gets so fuxking condescendung and bitchy I fucking hate her #And then when I try to respond calmy she goes iff at me for sounding condescending #I hate her I hafe her I fucking hate her #I cant kill her so. Self harm!! I hate living in the same house as thst fucking bitch I hope she dies #And its like ten minutes ago I liked nyself and I liked existing and I was gonna bring up that I want HRT cause two of my close friends #Are already on it and I really want to be #But now its like I fucking know. I remember why I hate her. Shes just Like This #Please someone talk to me im genuinely gonna start crhing I actually wanted to be alive earlier #I wanted to go to the park and make cookies and be a person #And now I know that since I mentioned I was gna make cookies shes gonna start bitching at me for not doung it and being lazy #I hate her so much I judt want out #Everyone I know has at the very least civil relationships with their parents but I fucking hate her #Please help im asking for help

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leviisstuck · 1 month ago

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why does T gel SMELL SO BAD

I don't mean when it comes out of the packet/tube/pump, I like the smell when I just put it in my hand. I mean after I rub it in and let it sit. It smells SO SO SO BAD. That smell hit my stomach and almost kill me type bad. Omg, I don't want to put this on my shoulders anymore

#I cant fucking turn my head without smelling it #I just woke up from a nap too #It says to put it on my shoulders/upper arm #I don't want to anymore #can I please put it on my thighs again #testosterone #testosterone gel #ftm hrt

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