#I JUST GOT TO THIS DAMN RESTAURANT AND NOW I GOTTA PRETEND LIKE I’M INTERESTED IN MEDIOCRE SMALL TALK WHEN ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THIS

[anto-pops]

Now I have something that I desperately need to share since we're talking about marriage.

Dark! Sebastian and MC who not only got married but became each other's horcruxes...

And their relationship (and sex ofc) is now even more intense as they are literally a part of each other.

And yes I've been thinking about this for a while

IT’S NOT A WANT IT’S A NEED HOLY FUCKSVDIEBSJBSHDW

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Spoilers below.

-OH some lore!

-Wow for Shifu, his students got bought out.

-OMG ITS THE JERK IS THE GUY AT THE END OF THE NY SPECIAL. Interesting

-BABY FEI!

-HE DIED! WTF

-She got robbed. So she failed badly

-Like the intro to this. Damn its crisp

-So Marinette is living her best life right now. Love that ladybug and chat noir bonding.

-Marinette gotta deliver a gift to the post office for her uncle.

-ADRIEN IS IN SHANGHAI!

-Marinetter got a lot of information on Adrien, some of which I'm question means of which she acquired. XD

-So Marinette realized she could use the gift delivery as a chance to maybe meet up with Adrien. That isn't really that bad. Its actually really clever.

-Gorilla is best boy.

-Adrien just wants to spend time with his dad. F*** YOU Gabriel.

-Oh damn! Gabriel has the Prodigious! And apparently its more powerful than the miraculous? WTF. Nooru knows about this

-Gabriel of course sucks and won't listen. Because Gabriel is a desperate whore.

-what do you MEAN 15 years ago? Gabriel how deep is this evil hole

-Marinette honey no, I love her. but wow. Her parents are so happy tho.

-Marinette's parents are the best. STOP SALTING THEM.

-Her uncle is so happy to see her.

-Marinette, APPRECIATE YOUR UNCLE!

-I love The uncle.

-Gabriel is such a jerk. Adrien just wants to spend time with him.

-Oh wow the restaurant looks great.

-CHENG LORE! ALSO SABINE IS SO CUTE AS A KID.

-SABINE'S REAL NAME IS XIA PING! I am so happy to know this!

-He is making good points. She could get lost.

-Marinette tracking him. also Kwami speak all languages. Neat

-I just realized... did neither ladybug or chat noir tell each other that they are out of Paris?

-Adrien out with his dad (Gorilla) for walk is precious.

-PROTECT GORILLA HE IS A BEAN!

-Oh Gabriel being a jerk. what else is new?

-How does Gabriel know about this all? I am so confused.

-Fei is back. She is strong. Also She is a kind person.

-Oh no... she is actually trying to rob people.

-Oh she can disguise herself.

-And GABRIEL STILL SUCKS

-PLAGG is still Plagg. I missed seeing plagg.

- So if Marinette had stayed at the restaurant and chilled with her uncle. ADRIEN WOULD HAVE SHOWED UP. This is what happens when you are TOO THIRSTY!

-Marinette found him.

-and Fei just robbed her. Like HOW DID MARINETTE GET ROBBED SO EASILY?! Marinette is confirmed easy mark.

-Marinette she just robbed her don't help her

-and marinette just realized she is LOST IN SHANGHAI!

-Oh damn Fei is kicks butt.

-Adrien is so happy Marinette is in Shanghai! Thats so sweet. The Uncle ships it. The Bird ships it.

-Adrien you are a sweet bean. But I want to sock you for calling her just a friend.

-HOLD UP, HOW CAN GORILLA HAVE AN EAGLE action figure. Isn't this special suppose to take place between season 2 and 3? I am so confused.

-Marinette is lost, and she is lost.

-ADRIEN BONDING WITH HIS FUTURE IN-LAWS

-Adrien just confirmed she is always late.

-The old lady trying to help. Thats so nice.

-Fei, that guy is the d-bag that screwed over your adoptive dad!

-Guy is such a d-bag

-So Fei was being a jerk.

-Oh they are trying to return the necklace.

-Oh Fei speaks French, how convenient

-Fei feels guilty. GOOD

-Goriila is a bean.

-OH THEY ARE WORRIED.

-ADRIEN GONNA SEARCH FOR HIS FRIEND! YES! MARICHAT TIME.

-Chat noir transformation remix! Nice.

-They are making the police efficient here.

-Well Fei is gonna keep feeling guilty about this.

-Chat noir making Parisian heroes look good.

-Fei is gonna feel super guilty about this.

-THE PARROT IS SENTIENT!

-They found the earrings.

-Fei is pissed.

-Tikki found Marinette.

-Fei got fast hands

-Fei redemption arc now.

-OH NO, THE GUY REALIZED IT.

-Fei gonna fight them.

-THE GUYS FROM EARLIER!? They are great.

-Chat noir calling ladybug out of concern for marinette. So cute.

-Gabriel is such an a**hole. He remembered Marinette but not his own son.

-Fei revealing origins now. Oh damn.

-The guy is the one who ruined everything.

-Liar revealed. What a shock (not)

-So this guy is gonna be akumatized. Well he is a jerk. Gabriel knows how to pick em.

-FEI! KICK HIM AGAIN!

-King Money?! NICE NAME.

-Oh damn King Money looks boss as heck.

-Ladybug is finally here.

-I saw that sigh. You love your kitty Ladybug.

-That ladynoir is so strong.

-Fei is pretty boss.

-Oh no! THEY GONNA OPEN THE VAULT.

-I love that vault. The cave looks sweet.

-The guy realized it, kind of a smart man.

-What was Hawkmoth planning for 15 years?!

-Oh damn that power! Oh snap.

-The dragon guard look sick.

-Hawkmoth pulling a baller move with that. Like "B**** I aint fighting your guardian."

-Ladybug on the scene.

-Fei unlocked the power.

-WOW LADY DRAGON LOOKS REALLY COOL. And the Renlings looks kind of cool. Prodigious seems interesting.

-Renlings, the spirits of Human values. And, most of them look better than the Kwami, except plagg. Plagg is the best.

-Oh wow so they have neat requirements.

-SHE CAN SHAPE SHIFT! AMAZING

-I WANT THE PRODIGEOUS

-Only noble people can use the dragon.

-Revenge aint noble

-CHAT NOIR TO THE RESCUE!

-HE AKUMATIZED THE DRAGON GUARD GUY!

-Yan Woshi! OH DAMN, HAWKMOTH BE PLAYING FOR KEEPS!?

-This akuma maybe one of the best ones yet.

-HE LOOKS SO COOL.

-PLOT TWIST! HAWKMOTH ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HIS SON FOR ONCE! I am shook.

-HAWKMOTH GOT THANOSED. So Hawkmoth cares instantly loses. XD

-"Is that good news or bad news?" Chat noir, you are right. But thats your dad

-RUN ITS NOT GODZILLA!

-Ladybug and Chat noir getting their butt kicked.

-Fei also getting wrecked.

-Zag confirmed furry

-Fei just left them high and dry.

-And Chat noir is dead! ANGST.

-Ladybug gonna talk some sense into her.

-The mascara smeared. Thats real sadness.

-Cue power of friendship talk.

-Fei saves her with the power of friendship.

-dragon v. dragon fight!

-Oh I like this lucky charm.

- Yaloshi is his name now? (these subs are confusing)

-Oh snap, the power of team work! And fighting in the belly of the beast.

-THAT LADYNOIR HUG.

-They tied up the guy.

-Fei should have killed the guy.

-Meishi is adorable.

-I LOVE THIS LITTLE CONVERSATION. THEY ARE GONNA PRETEND TO RACE. and then show up later.

-Oh fei, marinette AND Adrien are celebrating his birthday. Thats cute.

-They BOTH SAID IT! I Cant even! (also I see you Adrien, you aint slick)

-The boys crushing on Fei.

-Adrien has such soft looks for Marinette.

____________________________________________________________

So overall. The beginning was a tiny bit cringe, but not as bad as the trailer made it out to be.

I really liked Fei. She grows on ya. And I liked Lady dragon. I liked the renlings

I will say it is a better special in terms of Lore and plot than the NY special. It was lacking in the love square interactions that I wanted. But they were still cute when they had them. I do think there are a few plot holes, like Eagle being an action figure. WHEN DID THIS SPECIAL TAKE PLACE. (Edit, found out it was an animation error, NVM)

Also, now the elephant in the room? Was the special racist?

The answer is, no.

It wasn't racist, so we can all calm down about it?

So I give it an 8/10

The lore being my favorite parts.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine Dean trying to find you a fake case which will give him the chance to spend more time with you, given how you’ve just gotten together, but Sam not having any of it. The result being Sam finding out about you two in a funny and unpredictable way.

“... So all I'm saying is that if we just headed over there to look into it and it turns out to be nothing, hey time for vacation!” Dean shrugged with a smirk that looked far from casual and you could hardly hold back a laugh “So what do you say?”

But once his speech was over – and admittedly it was a lengthy one weighing on the benefits of taking a supposed case that looked like your thing in Lad Vegas – silence followed, setting in the room for good. His brother, who was really the only one he was talking to and honestly trying to convince over a stupid issue, didn't say a word himself; instead kept his eyes glued on the computer in front of him no wonder looking for some actual case.

You couldn't blame the younger Winchester given how Dean had been only, miraculously, finding cases that seemed to be in a big city or near one which had plenty of sights and, frankly, some of the best bars, or festivals and hotels. He just wanted vacation – even though you've just gotten back from a break – and Sam wanted to get back to actual work. He didn't understand why Dean insisted on it so much, how could you even tell him that you were together and he was clingy as hell and wanted to spoil you anyway (?), but he didn't seem to care anymore either.

After the tenth time of Dean suggesting a place like Vegas – which he was now bringing up and making it more obvious than ever – Sam had stopped listening to him altogether. It was obvious Dean wasn't willing to do actual work anymore. Sometimes going as far as to ignore he existed in the room until Dean came up with what could really be a case for you... which in the end only turned out to be taken by some other hunter. And so far that had only happened twice.

“He's not going to say a thing. You know how he gets when he's too focused on research and, frankly, between you and I, dear-” you paused to glance at Sam clearly absorbed in whatever he was reading “I'd say he doesn't give a damn. Maybe even has found a way to stop listening to you? A spell probably that makes your voice inaudible to him. Oh how lucky he must be if that's the ca-” you stopped when Dean shot you a look and you shrugged raising your arms in surrender “Alright, alright just kidding. I adore you, I adore you.”

“Hey.” Dean said in a warning tone, eyes almost wide.

He glanced at his brother who was very much in the room yet very much out on a spiritual level which you kind of envied. Because no matter how much you loved your boyfriend, there was only so much you could hear him talk in a day and mind you, you were barely paying attention to half of the things he said in favor of taking the case in Vegas. It wasn't a case, not even close to your kind of thing, and so every reason was either a reason for laughter or eye-rolls. And there was only so much you could take of all that on your own. And in the end, it was obvious, there was no reason for Dean to be worried in the least bit about Sam hearing you and finding about your relationship this way.

“Again not listening to you Dean, very wise choice, if you ask me.” you shook your head, eyes falling back on your phone but only for a second before you looked up again “Hey!” you suddenly said and Dean looked at you in interest, probably hoping for a choice that could give you a way to spend time together “Maybe he's got earplugs. I should try that too sometime, especially if you keep this up, I'm certainly gonna-”

“(Y/n)” he groaned, rolling his eyes, his shoulders falling in disappointment.

“I mean, honey, let's be frank here: you're way beyond yourself these days. Maybe if we did some actual work and then went to some bar, things would be better. It doesn't have to be in Vegas! And I'm fine with something less than a five star restaurant and hotel. Cause in case you have forgotten this, as a hunter I am used to motels and small bars and towns. I mean up until a month ago, that's where we were. Just because I'm your gir-” you paused when his eyes widened, you rolled your and kept going in a lower voice “Just because we are what we are now, doesn't mean I'm any different. I still enjoy even a walk in the park so long as it involves some ice cream and lots of hugs. I still enjoy cuddling even if it is on the floor of the cheapest motel in the world, so long as there are enough pillows and most importantly you. I still enjoy a simple cold beer even if it's in the most small bar so long as you are around. I'm still me, and I never cared about big or expensive things. I only care about us being happy, safe and together. You don't have to go an extra mile on my behalf Dean. You know I just want... well-” you glanced at Sam before whispering to Dean “You”

“I know, I just- you deserve it, that's the thing. Besides spending time together, I thought-” he sighed, almost pouting that very moment; making you find it hard to hold yourself back from jumping up and cradling him in your arms and kissing the living heaven out of him “I wanted to spoil you, give you something good. Treat you right.”

“Aw Dean, that's really sweet a-” but as you started speaking, Dean cut you off and you realized his expression had gone back to blank if not glaring at his brother who had gotten up only to grab a book from the library, walking past Dean as if he wasn't there, and sit back on his chair.

“Yeah, if someone else in here manages to make a connection with reality again.” he grumbled “Sam, are you ever going to even give me an answer?” a pause of silence “Are you even going to listen?” another pause of silence “Pretend that you listen at least?” pause of silence “Pretend that we exist?” pause and, surprisingly, no silence because it was broken by the sound of furious typing on Sam's computer.

“Well, he's super focused now. I don't think there's any getting him out of it, it seems.” you murmured.

“Sam?” Dean insisted “I'm just gonna take (Y/n) and go to Vegas without you if you keep this up you know?” pause “Sam?” pause, nothing but typing and Dean shook his head before running a hand down his face “Seriously whoever said having siblings was great, clearly never had one!” he sighed heavily.

“Come on it's not that bad, he's just focused. I get in that vibe as well.”

“Yeah, when you're watching America's ass or whatever you call it.” he huffed, shaking his head “That's different, (Y/n). I mean look at him, it's like he doesn't see us, certainly doesn't hear us. He wouldn't even realize it if we were swarmed in by zombies right now. Do you think that if I stabbed him right he'd even feel it?”

“Come on, Dean.” you giggled.

“What? He's a Winchester, he'll come back to life.” he shrugged “I swear, Cain was lying. This, this is exactly what Abel was doing to him. Ain't blaming that guy.”

“You say that to sound tough, but you love your family. You wouldn't even dare hurt a hair of Sammy's wonderful hair. Despite all the cock-blocking he's been doing lately.”

“Is that supposed to help him right now or what? Seriously, I'm trying hard not to do this but I can't even seem to find a reason to not stab him right now. Just to get a reaction.”

“I'm starting to think meddling with his hair would have more of an effect but-” you shrugged “I'm sure there is something.”

“No, really none. Honey you gotta give me some sort of motivation to not stab him right now.”

“Uhm, well-” you paused, frowning at your hands deep in thought “Oh” you smiled “Think about it as this: I can't fuck you if you're in prison.”

Dean nodded his head “Ah yes, that's a good enough re-”

“What?” Sam's head shot up and his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Oh so he speaks!”

[faulty-writes]

Hi there! I'm not sure if this fits the request, but if it's okay, could I request Muriko with a female s/o coming out as Bi. Like nobody expected it, then Muriko is like "HELL YEAH, THAT'S MEANS A CHANCE FOR ME" and asks her out last minute before some guy did.

[ So, I got your other message saying you wanted a one-shot and the plot you laid out. Just so you know, I only watch the anime. I don’t read the manga...yet. So I’m basically winging our little Bunny girl. But, I hope you enjoy nonetheless. ] 

Being a sidekick might not be glorious, but it had its advantages. You were recognized for one, praised for your help, and when you distanced yourself from your hero and bravely fought against the villains. Held down your own. Your hero rank rose, just a little. Given you were more than happy to be working alongside Mirko, the often overexcitable, rule-breaking, bunny hero. Of course, many were surprised when Mirko announced she’d be taking a sidekick as she preferred to work solo most of the time.

Teamwork wasn’t her style as many would say, yet that didn’t stop the thousands of sidekicks that flocked to her Agency in hopes to pass the audition and get the spot next to her. You weren’t a well-known hero, you worked a regular day job and merely got your hero license so you could protect others when needed. But you were nothing compared to the Pros out there, still, you felt as though you needed a change and forced yourself to go to the audition.

Though it was a little intimidating considering most of the sidekicks that were present, had a good record, and were rather high in popularity while you...were not. But somehow or another, Mirko had chosen you out of the bunch. For what reason, was unknown and while you had tried to get an answer from her. She’d only smirk and point her finger at you, “What’s it matter eh!? I chose you and that’s all! Be happy there, pretty face!” she’d always slap you on the back after and you’d groan, she hit hard even when she wasn’t trying.

There was something strange about Mirko that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Given she was a beautiful and sometimes reckless woman, you often felt her stare on you whenever you returned to the Agency and somehow or another, whenever you got hurt. It seemed like she was more concerned about your well-being, even if she had gotten a few bruises herself. Whenever you were walking up to her and she was in the middle of a conversation with someone else.

The moment she saw you, her eyes would light up and she’d pull you close. You’d always choke when her arm pressed against your neck. She was a little rough around the edges. “There she is! My little kickass sidekick! Isn’t she just adorable? Huh, huh!?” you’d always get embarrassed, it was almost like Mirko wanted to show you off. But you weren’t some sort of doll, even though you owed the hero a lot.

If it weren’t for her you wouldn’t have gotten a taste of the spotlight. You were happy to serve under her and even protect her when you needed to, not that she needed it. At all. But you liked to pretend you could protect your hero. Regardless, being around Mirko was like being around a completely different type of energy. Which you didn’t necessarily mind, but sometimes it became too overwhelming and you needed your own space.

On days like this, you would often shy away from Mirko and spend time with your coworkers. The fellow people that made this Agency run smoothly, though one male employee seemed awfully interested in you. “Where’s Mirko? Aren’t you usually with her after a mission is completed?” he questioned and you shrugged, “Sometimes I just need a break, Mirko is great and all but…” you paused as you finished putting quarters into the machine and pressed the drink you wanted.

The machine made a noise but dispensed no drink. “Huh? Oh, cheap piece of junk!” you snapped and slammed your fist against it. “Damn it, I don’t have any change left…” you muttered as you reached into your empty pockets as if coins would magically appear. “Hey that’s alright, I got you.” you blinked and looked at your fellow coworker. “Wait...really?” you questioned as he got up and stepped in front of the soda machine.

“Yeah, consider it a thank you for protecting the city and...just because you’re cute.” you felt a little uneasy as he winked at you, was he trying to flirt? Meanwhile, Mirko was becoming a little restless. Eagerly tapping her foot against the floor, “Where the hell is she? Where’s my sidekick!? Her attractive ass should be here with me…” Mirko spoke with a soft growl and the receptionist nearby noticed the unusual behavior.

“I believe she said something about getting a drink, try the soda machine down the hall,” they suggested and Mirko turned to glare at them. “I could have bought her a drink…” she muttered before stomping away, her tail angrily twitching. “Hm?” when she caught the sound of your voice her ears perked up a bit, however, she also picked up someone else’s voice. “Ah, what the hell.” she groaned, though she hated to admit it.

She often got jealous when you, her precious little sidekick, talked to others. Yeah, yeah you had every right to. But Mirko still considered you hers. Even though she knew she didn’t have a chance, which sucked. She narrowed her eyes once she had you in view and couldn’t help but cross her arms with a huff. This is the kind of man you chose to flirt with or rather that you attracted?

She could easily beat any suitor that was after you that is if...if only you weren’t fucking straight. She had half a mind to walk over there and smash the man’s face in, but unfortunately as a hero that wouldn’t be good for her image. Instead, she stood there in the shadows. Deciding to eavesdrop on the conversation with a frown on her face, you sounded like you were having a good time talking to him. Didn’t she make you happy too? She growled softly, feeling her stomach twist with jealousy.

“Aw, come on! You gotta eat don’t you? We can just consider it a business lunch...” you couldn’t help but chuckle, he tried so hard. Though you always turned him down, you didn’t exactly understand why he always tried to flirt with you. There were other female coworkers he could spend time with, your time, in particular, was dedicated to Mirko.

“I’m not really hungry, but thank you for the offer,” you replied, making the man drop his shoulders in disappointment. “Is it me?” he questioned, “I mean...it must be me, right? I’m no big strong hero. I just work here as part of the insurance company tied to Mirko’s Agency.” you wanted to roll your eyes, part of you hated when others played the role of the victim when it wasn’t necessary. You took a deep breath and shook your head.

“I don’t care about looks or status, hell I don’t even care about gender. I swing both ways, but the point is. I’m not too sure if you’re my type and well…” you paused when you noticed the strange looks you were getting. The few coworkers that surrounded you seemed wide-eyed and you weren’t really sure why. Was it something you said? “Uh, you guys okay?” you questioned, however, Mirko seemed rather overjoyed.

Practically clamping down on her lip to prevent herself from screaming out in happiness. YES. So her attraction to you wasn’t wrong! Hah, perhaps she shouldn’t have doubted herself so much. After all, she could turn the straightest of women into bunny lovers. That is if she really tried, but now she had a clear mission. She wouldn’t let anyone else have you, by the end of the day. You’d be telling everyone “I’m Mirko’s girlfriend.” she chuckled to herself as she rubbed her hands together.

“Oh fuck yeah! You’re gonna be mine.” she declared before pumping her fist in the air. Of course, there were obstacles in the way and she’d take care of one right now. She grinned as she kicked off the ground, skillfully maneuvering her body so her legs were straight out. You didn’t even register she was above you until you watched her land on your coworker. He gave a cry as his face was implemented into the floor, leaving behind a large dent.

Your jaw immediately dropped and you looked horrified, but Mirko was smiling. Like she had done something worthy of being praised. “Hi there, pretty face,” she said before brushing a piece of her hair back. “Come, let’s get lunch.” she insisted before grabbing your wrist and dragging you along, unlike most. You knew better than to argue with Mirko. Despite the fact you weren’t hungry, Mirko insisted on sharing a plate. That wasn’t like her seeing as the woman typically liked her food and she even bought you a drink.

Though you had tried to argue it was too early to drink, she laughed your words off and you got a little buzzed. The rest of the day after lunch was typical. You stayed at the agency and filled out the necessary forms from your patrol as well as spoke to the police and listened to the scanner in case any villains tried anything. It was a rather boring ending to the workday.

Mirko seemed rather intent on staying by your side and you weren’t too sure if you could trust that smile she wore and despite your best efforts to avoid her when leaving the agency. She caught up to you and once more insisted you go out to eat with her. “Look, I’m still a little dizzy from the first time we ate out so…” Mirko scoffed in response to your words and grinned before pulling you close.

“Come on! That’s a shitty attitude to have! I promise dinner with me is going to be amazing! I’ll spoil my little sidekick good!” she said before ruffling your hair. “And after, we can hit the bar! I’m sure your little ass can dance right?” you looked hesitant but once more you knew there was no chance in hell you could argue with her. “I don’t know about dance or if I can take any more alcohol…” you responded quickly before Mirko laughed and slapped your back, causing you to stumble forward.

“That’s quitters talk, pretty face! You gotta drink when you’re with me. We’ll have dinner at that exclusive restaurant, oh what the fuck is it called? I forget, but it doesn't matter.” she concluded before looking at you with a mischievous glance, “Uh...” you stepped away. “Just what are you…” you gasped when she quickly moved behind you and scooped you into her arms. You gave a squeak and your arms immediately wrapped around her neck.

Though you were a hero of sorts, you hated being off the ground. “Aw, what’s a matter? Are you scared?” Mirko teased and you growled, “Shut up!” you snapped, wondering what had gotten into the woman today. She usually wasn’t this touchy-feely or even insistent you spent time together like this. Then again, she was over-enthusiastic and did enjoy showing you off. So maybe you were merely overthinking things.

You held on tightly as she kicked off various buildings, sending both of you airborne and while you were terrified. The view of the night city was rather beautiful and almost put you at ease, in a way it made you feel like a damsel in distress. Being rescued and carried off by the hero, which more often than not was depicted as a male hero. Someone strong, brave, and handsome. Yet you were in the hands of a petite but strong and courageous woman who could handle her own.

Though, if that were true then why did she feel the need to have you around in the first place? What was her want in getting a sidekick in the first place? Once more you were reminded that you had never gotten an official answer from her. “Mm…” you muttered just before Mirko landed on the ground, “Ready for some good eats?!” she exclaimed and somehow you felt butterflies when you watched that smile come to her face, she was almost...cute.

She seemed to notice the way you stared, “What’s a matter? Lovestruck already?” you felt your face flush at her words and quickly glanced away. “No.” you denied, damn her. She chuckled once more and set you down on your feet. “Whatever you say, pretty face. Now let’s go get some grub.” she grabbed you by the shoulder and dragged you inside. Guess the advantage of being with a popular hero was the fact that you pretty much got whatever you wanted handed to you.

In this case, Mirko was granted an exclusive table and offered a bottle of wine which she immediately opened and insisted on a toast. You felt your stomach twist as you swirled the cup of wine before looking to Mirko. “A toast! To one of the best and originally unwanted sidekicks ever and the only fucking sense of normal I have in this otherwise kick-ass life! Cheers!” you blinked in response as she clinked your glasses together and promptly downed her glass.

Though you couldn’t help but wonder, what did she mean by sense of normal? How true was that? Was she hiding some secret from everyone? You glanced to the side, your wine untouched. You couldn’t help but look around, everyone else was dressed in such fancy attire that you couldn’t even hope to afford. You weren’t much for high-class places, so why did Mirko bring you here? It was almost like she was trying to impress you without actually taking part in the high-class act.

“Ah!” The bunny girl in question licked her lips after she finished her wine and slammed the cup back onto the table, catching some looks from the surrounding tables. But she outright ignored their stares as she was more focused on looking directly at you. “What’s a matter!? You haven’t touched your wine.” you jumped when you heard her voice and snapped your head back, “Oh uh...n-nothing. Um, I was just thinking…” you said sheepishly before taking a sip of your wine.

That seemed to be your weakness, trying to analyze not only a villain’s moves but everyone’s. Why they said what they did and what it meant. Maybe you’d be better off working for the police but the truth is, you loved being a sidekick. You were almost relieved when the dinner was over, almost. The horror came back when Mirko dragged you to the bar next door, you began to wonder just how much this woman could drink before she was satisfied.

The bar itself had dim lighting and a small dancefloor that provided the only real lighting as it flashed between colors. Mirko had insisted you sit at the bar while she ordered the drinks, you assumed that translated to she knew the bartender. You couldn’t help but sigh and curled your hands in your lap, this wasn’t your scene. In fact, you felt a little out of place. Well, maybe that was an understatement.

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice your coworker from earlier had sat down next to you. “Y/n.” your head turned, “Huh?” it was a little hard for you to recognize it was them at first. “Oh...hey, uh how are you? I didn’t know you came here.” he chuckled in response and laid his hand on your thigh, something that made you a little uncomfortable. “I could say the same for you,” he said as he leaned closer and that’s when you noticed the bruises on his face.

Guess that was the result of getting your face slammed into the floor. “I’m here with Mirko.” you replied in a flat tone and watched his face twist with panic, “She isn’t around right now is she?!” he exclaimed as he frantically looked back and forth. “Uh…” why was he freaking out so much? You reached down to push his hand off your thigh before answering him. “She’s getting the drinks,” you replied and though he still looked worried, his shoulders relaxed.

“Well, that’s too bad. I was going to buy you a drink, maybe I still can, what do you say?” he questioned with a purr and reached over to take your hand, “Uh…” you replied before he brought your hand up to his lips were he pressed a kiss to it. The action made a shiver run down your spine, “Um, right...I don’t know about that.” you said as you pulled your hand away from his.

“Well, how about we go out?” he questioned and you jumped in your seat. “Uh what?” he chuckled and a playful smile formed across his face. “I said how about we go-” his sentence was interrupted when several alcoholic beverages were poured over his head. You could smell the difference mixtures lingering in the air and it made you gag, “What the hell is your problem!?” he snapped as he whipped his head around to see Mirko, she stood there with a smirk.

“No problem here, but I’d prefer you don’t bother my date with your bullshit. It’s clear pretty face doesn’t want to go out with you. So get before my foot impales itself into your ass!” Mirko growled and for a brief moment, you got scared as you watched her face twist into a more devilish expression which seemed to be more than enough to scare your coworker away. You blinked in response before looking at Mirko.

“Uh...that seemed…” you tried to search for the right word, but Mirko just scoffed. “What unnecessary? Give me a break, those guys are just like villains. Can’t take no for an answer.” she declared as she placed her hand on her hip and looked at you. “Besides you’re my date and I don’t plan to hand you off to any half-assed shithead.” your eyes widened, “W-What do you m-mean d-d-date?” you responded, not that you didn’t like the sound of it.

Just, you didn’t recall Mirko even asking you out on a date. She seemed confused by your question. “Uh, what else does a date mean?” she responded before rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t ask you out or anything. I couldn’t find the time between all the bullshit, so I decided to try and spoil you instead. Besides that fool has been trying to ask you out for months. Had to beat him to it, didn’t I?” she questioned as she took the seat next to you.

“I’m going to have to get more drinks…” Mirko pouted but you were still full of questions, just staring at her with blank eyes. “Hm?” she turned her head to look at you, even in the dim lighting you could see her raise her eyebrow. “What?” she questioned before trying to flag down the bartender. “Look I promise I’ll ask you out properly later,” she said which made you finally drop your stare. “Just enjoy tonight for now and if you’re good, I might end up bringing you home tonight,” she said with a wink and you nearly fell out of your chair.

[kristannarubbish]

learn to do it (chapter one)

A/N: hi peeps! so i may or may not have started writing a “princess diaries but make it norway” kristanna fic. here it is, i have it all planned but finals are coming up so i’m not sure how regular updates will be. nonethless, i hope you guys all like it!

A/N 2: the italics outside of quotation marks are anna/kristoff’s thoughts

rating: T for langauge

pairing: kristanna

wc: 2.2k

part: 1 of 9(ish?)

“Princess Anna!” An overly sophisticated voice called with a round of knocks on Anna’s bedroom door on a bright Saturday morning. 

A groan escaped Anna's lips as the late morning light blinded her, “Five more minutes.”

“You’re going to be late. Again.” The voice reminded her sternly.

With a loud whine, Anna sat up and stretched, “You can come in you know.”

“I know,” the door creaked and her best friend walked in. “But personally, I’m too afraid of sleepy Anna after the first time.”

“It wasn’t that bad, it barely grazed your arm!” 

“It was a heel Anna. I got 3 stitches. You should know, you paid for them.”

Anna rolled her eyes and fell back into bed. Before she knew it, Olaf was giving her the look. In fact, she didn’t even have to look at him to know it was happening because she felt it burning into her. 

“Don’t say it,” Anna warned, still staring at her popcorn ceiling.

“Being this boujee in Brooklyn doesn’t pay for itself!” Olaf said, staring at her with a smirk.

“Okay there are several reasons that doesn’t make any sense,” Anna stated, finally crawling herself out of bed, making her way towards the bathroom. Olaf trailed behind, ready for her rambling explanation. 

“One, we are not boujee,” she said with exaggerated air quotes, “I don’t think boujee apartments have slanted floors and broken faucets.” Anna turned the left knob of the sink, no water coming out. 

“Two, it does pay for itself if you sit around looking pretty long enough in the right spot,” Anna laughed as she began to hastily brush her hair. Olaf scoffed at her, rolling his eyes.

“And finally, stop calling me princess. It’s weird.” Anna splashed her face with water once the faucet finally decided to start working.

“It’s not weird. If anything it’s a compliment,” Olaf stepped behind her in the mirror as he fixed his already overly-greased brown hair.

“I’m sure that’s what the old men at the restaurant thought when they called me over for their dinner drinks last night,” she rolled her eyes heavily as she slapped on some moisturizer. “But, they did leave a good tip. See, living in Brooklyn does pay for itself!” 

Olaf scoffed and ran his hands through his hair again, “Yeah, if you are a misogynist.”

“Don’t huff! In that case, misogyny is unfortunately paying for half our rent,” Anna yanked out her makeup bag. “Now scooch because I have to get ready.”

Olaf put his hands up in defense, backing away, “I’ll see you after work tonight?”

“Duh. It’s Bachelor night.”

*************************************************

The midday sun blared on Anna’s pale skin as she climbed up the stairs from the subway station. She took a few deep breaths as she knew what had to do. Her phone read 12:25 and her shift started at 1. Without a moment to spare, she dashed down the busy street. Two more blocks. 12:26. One more block. 12:28. Just when she went to check her phone again, Anna slammed into someone. 

With an oof noise, followed by a slight laugh, a familiar voice spoke, “Anna when will you learn that ten minutes early is on time in the food business?”

Anna felt her cheeks turn hot, and it wasn’t from the sprinting. Strong arms steadied her and she caught her breath. It was Kristoff, one of the senior chefs at their restaurant. Anna tried not to crush too much, keep her eyes on the hustle and whatever other millenal mumbo jumbo. But Kristoff was most definitely an exception. Not only could he cook, he was so sweet and funny. It also didn’t help that he was one of the most handsome guys she had ever seen in real life.

“Anna? You there?” Kristoff hesitantly asked as inspected her spaced out eyes that were lost on his face.

“Huh? Yeah!” She blinked several times and shrugged his hands off her arms, “Thanks for that! It was like a crazy trust fall or something.”

He chuckled lightly as he opened the wooden door for her, “Ladies first.” The redhead did not notice the pink on his cheeks.

“Thanks!” Anna squeaked, with her voice maybe a little too high pitched. She cleared her throat and headed for the back. Kristoff branched off with her at the kitchen. She turned to him, with finger guns ablazing “Catcha later!”

Kristoff gave her his lopsided smile, “Later Anna.”

Anna immediately face palmed the second she was out of his line of vision. Catcha later? Seriously Anna? That’s the best thing you could think of? She punched in and tied her black apron around her waist. 12:30:55. Great. Not only did you embarrass yourself in front of the hottest guy you know, but you were almost late because of it. 

********************************

“Don’t sit around chopping carrots pretending I did not see you catch Anna on her way into work this morning,” Sven smirked to Kristoff while making his nightly rounds, making sure everyone was doing their jobs like the good manager he was. 

Kristoff rolled his eyes, “I would hardly call it catching. It was more like a slamming.”

His best friend joked with him, “Ooo, slamming even better.”

“Ew! Gross dude, don’t make me call HR.”

“You’re right. That was slimy. But still, when are you gonna ask her out?”

“Sven, you’re my manager. I don’t think you should be promoting workplace relationships.”

“True. But, I am also your best friend, which comes first,” Sven affirmed. Kristoff cocked an eyebrow, looking up from his diced carrots.

“Okay, maybe paying an arm and a leg for a roof over my head comes first. But you’re definitely 1.5. And as my 1.5 priority all I am saying is that you should ask her out before someone else does,” Sven popped a diced carrot into his mouth and went to go check on the dessert station.

The thing that made Kristoff’s gut twist the most is that Sven was definitely right. And he hated when Sven was right. Maybe even more than overhearing creepy old men call Anna “princess” when the restaurant got empty later in the night. No, Kristoff hated the latter more. 

Kristoff was convinced that Anna wouldn’t want to go out with him. After all, they were work buddies, or something like that. Her label, not his. But he was sick of not knowing. He has had a crush on her for months but hasn’t got the nerve to do more than open a door for her or steady her when she does something clumsy. At that moment, he made a decision, he would ask her out soon. No need to push a certain time because Kristoff always hated time limits, but soon.

*****************************

Sooner came sooner than expected. Way sooner, actually. 

That night, Anna took over someone else’s shift so she ended up working until the restaurant closed. They were short staffed, so most of the other private chefs and waiters weren’t there once the end of the night neared. 

Anna was wiping down tables when everyone was nearly gone, expect a young tipsy couple in the corner. Kristoff wanted to surprise her with something nice, because it’s what she deserved. In the dim lighting of the restaurant he had a small chocolate cake on a fancy floral plate. Kristoff was not a pastry chef, but he damn well did his best. His hands were gripped tight around the plate as he took a deep breath and gulped, “Anna?”

Her fiery red hair flipped as she turned around, “Hi Kristoff,” she smiled warmly up at him.

“This is for you,” he half smiled nervously back at her.

“For me?” Anna beamed so bright you could see her teeth. This made Kristoff’s stomach do backflips and somersaults. I just want to make her smile like that all the time. Jesus, that’s cheesy. 

“Uhm, yeah. It’s not a big deal,” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. 

“Oh, okay,” Anna’s smile faltered.

“No wait! I mean, it can be if you want it to be but, if not, I get it,” Kristoff stammered, which was pissing him off because it was making himself look ridiculous. This 6 foot, 180 pound man could not make a coherent thought to a woman he was interested in.

“What are you saying?” Anna’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“Do you want to go on a date with me, Anna?” Kristoff asked with the warmest smile he could, which, around Anna was not difficult.

Anna’s face went into an ‘o’ shape. Shit, she’s going to say no. It’s fine, I prepared for this all night. Right? I mean if she does say no, that’s cool. We can be friends. Anna set the plate on the bar. She smiled warmly up at him and threw herself around her. If this is a no, it’s a very excited no. He wrapped his strong arms around her in response. 

“Yes!” Anna beamed. Oh thank God. Without another word, he picked her up and spun her around. She squealed in his ear, but he didn’t mind.

After setting her down, they both chuckled exasperatedly at each other. “If I knew I would have gotten a twirl like that and chocolate cake I would have made a move a long time ago,” Anna smirked and Kristoff laughed. 

“I think I can do that,” they continued to just smile at each other like they were in a daze for, well, maybe longer than they should have.

“Kristoff!” One of the other private chefs called, breaking them out of their fairytale daze, “We need you on prep duty!”

“Oh, I gotta go,” Kristoff said with downturned lips.

“You have my number though, right? We can work something out over text.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, Anna,” he smiled at her again.

It felt like there was a beginners ballet class in her stomach there was so much flipping.

****************************

As Anna was going home that night, it felt as if she was walking on air. Usually, she hurries home this late at night, but tonight she leisurely walked the quiet streets of Brooklyn. (Pepper spray still in hand, of course.)

During her possibly too slow walk, she noticed a black car start to follow her. This was not unusual, but still concerning nonetheless, so Anna walked faster to the subway. Once she got underground she was still checking over her shoulder, but overall felt more secure. 

The subway ride was peaceful since it was so late, the fluorescent lighting illuminating her dreams of what her and Kristoff’s first date might look like. Would it be casual or fancy? Well, Kristoff has always been a more casual guy with me, so maybe just a movie or something. But the fancy floral plate said otherwise. Oh God, what if our schedules don’t line up?!

Once Anna got off the subway and came back to the cool dark streets, she noticed the car was there waiting for her. She also noticed it had a small flag on it that she didn’t recognize at first glance, because once she saw the car again, Anna booked it back to her apartment. Today is not the day I get kidnapped. Cute guy finally wants to go out with me and I am never seen again. That’s just my luck, huh? 

Anna fumbled with her keys quickly but once she got into her apartment, she slammed the door and frantically made sure all the locks were on. Out of breath, she slid her back down the door to see Olaf sitting on the couch.

“There’s good news,” she panted, “and bad news.”

“That makes two of us,” Olaf rolled his eyes, “You first.”

Anna groaned, but then smiled at her own reminder of her good news, “Kristoff asked me out tonight. And there was chocolate cake involved.”

“Fucking finally,” Olaf chuckled.

“That’s all you have to say?” Anna asked as she brought herself from the floor.

“Uh, yeah! For the longest time it was always Kristoff this and Kristoff that. It was bound to happen eventually so it just became a waiting game. But anyway I think my thing is bigger so let’s hurry this up.”

“Okay geez. Bad news, some guy followed me all the way home just now in a car with a little flag on it. Including my subway route! He knew my subway route!” Anna ranted frantically. “So if I go missing, you know why.”

Olaf’s eyes widened, “Oh, shit Anna. Uhm... We’ll figure something out.” She sighed and joined him on the couch.

“Please tell me your good news.”

“I don’t know if this qualifies as good news or… weird news. So today, a man came by dressed in all black and asked for you.”

Anna’s eyes widened, “They know where I live!”

“No no no Anna, they asked for you on behalf of the her majesty of Arendelle,” Olaf said seriously, handing her an official note with Anna’s name on it.

She said up to inspect it, “What the flying fuck would a cold European country want to do with me?” Normally, Anna would be freaking out over this because of its randomness, but she was too exhausted to process it all.

Olaf examined the note as well, “Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe you’re a lost princess or something,” he fantasized.

“Yes because I am prime princess material,” Anna stated, gesturing to her slouched position on their couch, “Tomorrow at 9 AM. That’s very early, can yo-”

“Yes I can wake you up,” Olaf rolled his eyes at his best friend’s ridiculousness.

“Now, what’s the bad news,” Anna sighed, ready to brace whatever it is he was about to hit her with.

“You missed Bachelor night, and boy was it a juicy one.”

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 21 of 30]

Summary: Erik has doubts about what he has done...

Mature Audience. NSFW. 

"Gotta be careful, I know, I know You and me can't be nothing no more I've been lookin' for something from you I've been gettin' nothing at all You're such a fuckin' woman (woman) But deserves the fuckin' world, yeah…"

Lucky Daye—"Love You Too Much"

The saltwater in the pool soaked Erik's sunburned skin as he floated on his back. He would've preferred to swim at the cove, but going there was all her. Too much her.

That woman he tried to ignore became a specter before his eyes. He would catch glimpses of her around the compound, but she was like a rumor whispered in hushed tones. They were able to work around each other, but sometimes he caught her lingering above the gun range when he was there firing the new weapons with the other mercs. He acted like he didn't see her in the distance when she did that, or when he caught her slipping out of the kitchen when they all came to eat. He felt her eyes on him even when he couldn't directly see her.

He did the same, often hanging back after meals, sipping on dinner espresso and waiting to hear the side kitchen door open with her bounding in to help Leona clear away dishes and leftovers. Or he would stay out by the pool for a long time and catch the sound of leaves rustling as she snuck down to the cove using the secret path no one else knew about. She would sometimes cuss at Jerome while heading there and he would stifle a laugh while thinking about the first time he heard her talking to the iguana. The sound of her voice still thrilled him. It was the girlish softness of it mixed with the smart-ass personality behind it that still made him excited about her.

He dreamed about her. And Sydette.

Those night visions were often a replay of the earlier days of them alone at the compound. He'd wake up suddenly in the middle of the night clutching at his side hoping she was there. When he heard movement from Linda in the room next to his, he would pretend it was Sweet Pea sneaking out of her bed to crawl between him and Yani.

He knew from jump Yani despised Linda.

But that was to be expected because Linda tended to rub people the wrong way and of course...he had fucked the woman. Linda could be condescending to people that she felt were inferior to her. She treated a lot of the other mercs that way and they couldn't say shit because her skills were so tight and she proved it to be true time and time again. She never tried it with him. His game was tighter than hers and she respected that.

He never saw Yani act funky in front of Linda personally, but Linda often commented on how Leona was very nice to her, but Yani was just direct and spoke very little.

"She's efficient and like a damn ninja around here…but I can't get more than two words out of her when I ask her for stuff. It's like I'm bothering her own personal things. She acts like Klaue's house is her house. I had my feet on the coffee table and she walked past me with the laundry sucking her teeth."

Erik knew the reason why Yani was acting that way. It wasn't because of no feet on the furniture.

Klaue moved Linda into his house and her bedroom was next to Erik's. She was sleeping in Sweet Pea's old room. She was sleeping too close to him.

Yani wasn't the only one feeling irritated by new interactions.

He was feeling a way about her and Zachary.

Erik still lurked on her social media to see how she was doing. At first, it was to keep tabs on Sweet Pea from afar, and he could also see what Yani had to say about her classes. She was acing school like he knew she would, but it was the posts about her social life that had him uptight.

As expected, Zachary pounced on her, and Yani seemed open to the rekindling of some type of relationship because Erik saw pictures of them together at clubs and group gatherings. Yani had big smiles on her face when she posed with Zachary, and apparently, they took a trip to Jamaica together for a concert Kendall performed at. He saw pictures of them posing in front of a waterfall together in swimsuits holding hands while facing one another. Yani's eyes were closed and the grin on her face told him that they had either kissed before the picture was snapped, or they were about to kiss.

He couldn't even be all that mad on a certain level if he were honest with himself. He would've done the same thing. If he'd lost a bad bitch being stupid, he wouldn't waste time snatching her back up.

She looked happy in that picture. Zachary looked…enamored with her. Erik wondered if she was sleeping with him. Getting new dick to forget the old dick. Erik scoffed a bit while staring at them. Ain't no way Zachary could handle what Yani had. Fire pussy needed bomb ass dick. That was the only thing that kept Erik from going off seeing her with someone else that soon.

What nigga could compare to him with her?

He used to make that bitch's pussy jump when he called her on the phone. He could snap his fingers and have her pulling open her slit for him whenever he wanted it, had her cumming and crying and begging him not to stop until she couldn't hold onto him anymore. Made Yani sit anywhere he wanted—indoors or outdoors-with her legs wide open while he watched her slam a thick blue dildo in her pussy just to amuse him before he picked her up and stretched her walls out all night. He made her cum in her sleep with just the thought of him fucking her. She would lay in bed next to him having multiple orgasms that woke her ass up and made her beg him to fuck her wide awake. What could that civilian do for her?

She looked good though. Damn good. She had lost some weight from running around again, but shit was looking hella tight.

Shit.

Thinking about her in that picture made Erik want to fuck.

He climbed out of the pool and took himself a long shower. Afterward, he drove himself to a barbershop in Havensight and had his locs cut off and his beard trimmed and groomed. He needed the change. His mother had done it often when she needed a fresh start. At least two times in his life with her he had witnessed his mother shaving off her hair. Shedding old energy to welcome the new.

He felt a few eyes on him in the shop. Maybe they recognized him from being with Yani.

Before meeting up with Linda and Klaue in the main house he shot off a few emails to his grandfather and his Uncle. He also loaded more money onto Yani's credit card. She didn't use it all that much anymore, probably because she didn't want him tracking her purchases, but more than likely not wanting to stay connected to him. No matter what happened between them, he wanted her to have some sort of back-up support if she ever needed it. If not for herself, then for Sydette at least.

Strolling into the main house, both Klaue and Linda gave him a double-take when they saw his hair.

On the viewscreen in the living room, Erik posted up a picture of the C.I.A. agent that he was tracking for Klaue. The man had a mousy face and the strait-laced look of one who believed in toppling other governments in service of making America great again. A weak-looking yes man by the name of Everett K. Ross.

"U.S. Air Force. Decent pilot. Currently the Deputy Task Force Commander of the Joint Counterterrorism Center. He reports to the Secretary of State. That good ole boy, Thaddeus Ross."

"He's taking nibbles from me. I've been dropping hints at wanting to sell vibranium," Klaue said, "the U.S. wants their hands on all they can find. But he's a bit skittish right now."

"No one likes to look like they're in bed with mercs and terrorists," Linda said.

"The U.S. fucks with them all. They must be under scrutiny," Erik said.

"Any sales aren't going to be done in the U.S. The Great Satan needs to come where I say," Klaue barked.

"Nowhere in Europe," Erik said.

"Definitely not Africa," Linda added.

"What a wimpy looking oaf," Klaue surmised.

"That's what makes him effective. A milquetoast-looking face can get away with anything anywhere," Erik concluded.

"Well, the moment you find me a chunk of the good stuff I'll set up the sale," Klaue said.

The three of them sat around drinking until dinner. There was to be no meal at the house that night. Klaue took everyone out to a restaurant on the Northside of the island. The food was exceptional and Erik didn't get into any arguments with Neal or Huntsman. Surprising. There were great bars to crawl around and when Shipley let them toke on some blended weed, Erik felt pretty mellow. He actually wanted to hang out a bit.

Klaue caught a cab back to the compound but the rest of their crew stuck together. Linda was really floating, acting like the Snow White to their ragtag team of six non-Dwarfs. Shipley was trying to run game down on her, but Linda wasn't interested. She put up a front of being all business. But not with him.

He kept it friendly between them. Even when she sunbathed topless on the porch of Klaue's house, he treated her like his colleague.

It wasn't easy at times.

When his sexual urges came on strong, he was tempted to seek her out in her bed, but he didn't want the headache of Neal or Shipley. They were both jockeying for some play and there was nothing worse than working with hard-up men and the tension that jealousy brought.

Linda would give him looks sometimes and he hoped that no one else caught on.

Some really hard-sounding island music caught their attention and they stumbled upon a boisterous club that excited Linda. Shipley got into the spirit and they were all sucked into the space ordering drinks and watching the spectacle of winding hot bodies and good sounds. Linda grabbed Shipley's hand and dragged him out among the crowd. The place was a lot bigger inside than it looked outside and there was an actual stage on one side with a D.J. spinning tunes with a massive sound system. No wonder they could hear it blocks away.

Erik found a honey with loose hips and he followed her out onto the floor. Neal sprang for drinks and by the time it turned midnight, Erik had a good sweat and copped a few feels on some Grade A ass that seemed to come from an endless supply throughout the space. He found another shorty that made his temperature rise, and he was getting her number when she and a few other women swarmed the stage. The music was thumping and there were a few eager men on stage where a solitary chair sat in front of them.

Erik bought himself some Henny and walked closer to the stage with Neal and Shipley in tow.

"What's happening?"

Huntsman eased up beside them, his voice loud over the music.

"I don't know," Erik said.

"I think they are about to…ah yeah…we about to see some rump-shaking," Neal said.

A man with a chiseled chest poking out of his half-unbuttoned shirt sat on the chair as an MC talked to the crowd.

"What's the point of this?" Huntsman said.

"Watch and see," Neal said.

Erik sipped on his drink.

The music got a little buck and several women, even the one Erik was trying to mess with climbed on stage and took turns dancing with frenzied athleticism on the lap of the man who sat in the chair.

"Man…I couldn't do it!" Neal squealed.

Linda found her way over to them. Her face was flushed from dancing and drinking.

"Poor guy!" she said.

"Be right back, gonna refresh my drink."

Erik left them and headed to the bar. He could see the different women trying to out-dance one another, and by the time his new drink finally got to him, a new dude was in the chair getting his junk pummeled.

"Shit," Erik whispered.

These women were not playing. He grinned when he saw Linda reach up to the MC and he helped her on stage to take her turn at grinding on a stranger. She stood out with her light gray booty shorts and half top. Kicking off her sandals, she made the man sit on the floor of the stage as she did the splits and pounded her groin on him. Her wild cascade of curls covered part of her face. The audience went into a frenzy and Erik could hear Shipley and Neal cheering her on.

"Did y'all dare her to get up there?" Erik asked when he returned to his entourage.

"Nope. She said they needed an expert up there," Shipley said.

The woman could move, and she played to the audience while she awaited her chance to dance on the next guy in the chair.

"This gyal is on fiyah!" the MC shouted.

Linda wiggled her hips fast, throwing her cheeks in a wild circle. She dropped down and grabbed her ankles letting the audience watch her cheeks move.

"She too much, man…too much!" Shipley shouted.

"Goodness gracious," Neal said.

Erik looked around the stage to see who he was talking about, but then he saw Twyla moving near the front.

"Twyla!" Erik shouted.

"You know her?" Neal asked.

Twyla looked his way. She saw who was calling her and she smiled.

"Big nigga. Where yuh hair go?"

Twyla's hand rubbed his head.

"God damn…she thicker than a pot of grits," Neal barked looking toward the stage again.

"That girl is small—" Shipley answered.

"Not that one…her. Oh my damn. That's…shit. That's Klaue's girl," Neal said.

Erik saw Yani staring at the stage. He recognized a couple of her friends with her that saw him fuck her in a club.

"Don't be scared to say hello," Twyla said.

Her eyes regarded Erik's face.

"Yuh can't hide back here."

"I'm not hiding—"

"Lookin' like yuh back at Juvay," Twyla teased.

One of Yani's friends jumped on stage and stood next to Linda.

"How is she?"

His eyes were sheepish looking at Twyla.

"She's as good as can be expected from a bad break up. Doing well in school—"

"Sydette?"

"A busy body. And you?"

Erik shrugged.

"Still hurts, yeah?" she said.

He didn't answer.

"I see it on your face. Hers too."

Twyla glanced back at her cousin.

"She say yuh leaving the island."

"Yeah."

His eyes were focused on Yani.

"Big man…if there are things yuh still need to say to her, best tell her before yuh bounce. End it the right way with she, yeah?"

He decided to suck it up. Test the waters.

He sipped on his drink again as he walked over to her.

"Yani."

She turned to look at him and he realized it was a mistake. He should've kept his ass in the back and ignored her.

"Killmonger."

Damn.

He got goosebumps hearing his name on her lips despite the coldness. Her eyes took in his new appearance and he couldn't tell if she liked it or not. Indifference settled around her toward him.

The crowd surged and she turned back to watch her friend on stage. He stood behind her and could only concur with Neal's words. Lil Mama was thick as fuck, and the tight black pants she wore did not hide a damn thing. His body yearned for hers. He stepped closer, close enough to feel her body heat. He wanted to kiss the back of her neck and trace his tongue around her tattoos again. Erik had to fight his own hands to keep them from circling her waist and pulling her back toward him. As far as she was concerned, he wasn't even there.

"She doin' too much."

He heard one of Yani's friends talk about Linda.

"She gwine break his dick if she keep that up!" Another one cackled.

Yani giggled and covered her mouth.

Erik's eyes swept back up to the stage. Linda was living it up in the spotlight, and she was getting plenty of rousing support from a lot of men and women.

The current man in the seat had a serious expression on his face, like all that ass pounding his dick from different women wasn't affecting him in any way. Stoneface.

"Go up there, Yani."

She shook her head as her friends cat-called her name.

The D.J. changed the song to a track that had been remixed to death over the years. But it revived the crowd and the women on stage. Linda received some more cheers when she had another turn at bat, and for the first time, Stoneface reacted a little bit. The audience laughed and the MC teased the man about losing his cool.

Yani and her friends walked away and Erik felt himself actually deflate a bit. Yani straight ignored his ass. He watched the lights of the club hit the bronze of her top with them titties sitting, her platinum fade lined up tight, and that ass just being totally disrespectful in public.

He felt absolutely proud to see her not giving a fuck about him.

Gulping down the last of his Henny, he saw the MC bend down to the crowd trying to catch Yani's attention. She stopped with the rest of her homegirls to listen to him. Her hands flew up waving him off, but her friends nudged her arm. She put a hand on her waist and said something to the MC, and Twyla sauntered over pushing her up toward the steps leading upstage.

Fuck.

She went up the steps and once the full lights hit her, Erik had to stop and take inventory of what he had once. That used to be his woman, but there was something different about her that was turning him on in a way that made him feel out of control.

Linda saw Yani approach the chair and the look on her face told Erik that she was in a bit of shock recognizing the woman who cleaned her room and cooked her food.

The MC let Linda and a couple of other women do their booty shakes again, but then Yani stepped over the man, spread her legs wide and did the slowest drop down onto his lap that put the audience in a tizzy. Unlike the other women who moved with hyped up energy, Yani slowed it all the way down until her cheeks were popping in a way that had the man's legs jerking.

Erik felt his jaw get tight when Yani turned her head to look back at everyone as she let each ass cheek bounce in syncopated rhythm. She rolled her hips and the MC, along with several other people on stage started laughing hard and slapping arms. The MC started jumping up and down and pointing.

"Lawd -a-mercy! She done made this nigga buss in his pants!"

Yani lifted up and stepped away from the man with his eyes glazed over and his left hand grabbing at his protruding erection. Eyes watched Yani sashay away, and even Linda gave a painful-looking laugh as her eyes watched Yani leave.

"She dangerous. That gyal dangerous!" The MC shouted.

Yani's friends laughed with her as the entered back into the fray of bodies swaying to the music. A few men tried to get Yani's attention, but she was focused on her friends.

A song they used to listen to at the house came on and Erik took long strides to get to her.

"Come dance with me," he said touching her hand.

She pulled back from him as if he stung her.

"I don't want to dance with you."

Her friends surrounded him and their eyes were ready to cut him in two.

"It's just a dance, cuz," Twyla said nudging her cousin's arm as she walked past heading to the floor herself along with other people. The lap dance show was over.

Yani shoved past him and her friends followed.

Bet.

He headed back to the bar and ordered a couple of shots. Shipley joined him and they drank and talked, watching people dance on the floor. Erik tracked Yani's movement as she danced with different men.

"Can't believe that's the same chick at the compound," Shipley said.

"Yep," Erik answered.

They watched Neal approach Yani and she wasted no time sending him on his way. The way her friends swooped in to protect her, Neal had no chance of harassing her further.

"Whew, I gotta slow down," Linda said.

She plopped down on a stool next Erik and asked for water from the bartender. Twyla walked past him and gave him a look. Erik shrugged his shoulders at her and Twyla rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Had no idea Yani was a regular Cinderella," Linda said.

"She fine," Shipley said.

Erik found that surprising since he never showed interest in women built like Yani before.

"Thought you didn't like thick bitches," Erik said.

Linda eyed Shipley with amusement.

"She could be the exception," Shipley said gulping down a shot of tequila with lime.

"He'll fight you for that," Neal said.

Erik watched Neal grab a beer from the bar.

"What?" Shipley said.

Erik felt his face harden.

"That's Killmonger's pussy."

"Shut the fuck up," Erik snarled.

"You're fucking the help?" Linda asked.

She tossed her head back and laughed at him.

Erik stepped off the stool he sat on and left the bar in a huff.

"Killmonger…hey….hold on…."

Linda followed him and tugged on his arm.

"Hey…we're just drinking and pulling your chain. Calm down."

She steered him to the dancefloor.

"Relax. Loosen up."

Linda swayed in front of him and tried moving his arms. His eyes darted about looking for Yani again, but he had lost track of her.

"How can you not dance to this?"

Linda moved around him, bumped her hip into his and he eventually gave in and danced a little.

"Oh, come on now. You're better than this. We fucked it up in Jo'burg. You remember that club with the roof that was caving in!"

Erik smiled. He remembered. The music was hot, fast, and so were the club patrons. That was a good night. Right before the raid…

"…fucking her?"

Erik missed what Linda said. The confusion in his eyes made her repeat the question.

"Is it true? You and Yani?"

"Nah. Neal had been bothering her and I put a stop to it."

"He is aggressive. Nasty piece of work."

His eyes flicked around. Searching still.

"You want to fuck her?"

His eyes glared at her like she was insane.

"It's just a question. She watches you all the time—"

"I barely have time to—"

"I'm just telling you…I think she has a thing for you. I hear her cleaning your room and she stays in there for a long time. You are a neat freak, so there's no reason for her to be in there so long."

Yani in his room lingering?

"I catch her watching you at the gun range…"

Erik dismissed Linda's words when he felt his cell vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out.

A text from Twyla.

Yani is alone in her apartment this weekend. Chez has Sydette. Roommate gone too. Chance to talk?

Erik stopped dancing.

Unger ran up and grabbed Linda's hand to dance.

"I'ma head back to the compound," he said.

Linda nodded her head.

"I'll catch a cab."

"I'll let the others know."

He watched her and Unger head further into the crowd on the floor.

###

Looking around his room, Erik tried to see what Yani would see.

A clean room. Sterile almost without her there anymore. Two boxes of condoms on the dresser. One empty and the other half used. She would probably think he had been with Linda. He hadn't. But he was seeing women outside the compound again. He couldn't help it. It kept his mind off of her.

But seeing her that night brought up all the things festering in his mind about her. Was she okay? Was Sydette fine? Did Yani hate him? How would she react if she saw him in public?

If Linda was able to glean Yani's feelings for him around the compound, maybe she still had a soft spot for him. Maybe he could…

No.

It was stupid to think of going to her. Even with Twyla's encouragement. He hopped into his bed fully nude. No one was at the compound. The secret tracker he placed in Klaue's arm told him the man was on the other side of the island. Inside a hotel. Probably with a woman.

Staring up at the ceiling, his mind settled on Yani again. Seeing her wind her body on that man onstage made him groan as he felt on his dick.

He reached for his cell again and read Twyla's text two more times.

It wasn't worth it.

What could he say to her? I'm checking to see if you've been able to salvage your life after I blew it up?

But damn…

She was so beautiful on stage. Her whole demeanor was just…sexy…bold. She used to make him cum in his pants all the time. Maybe she did that because she knew he was there watching.

He slammed his fists on his bed.

He wasn't going to get any sleep. He would think about her all night.

He reached into his nightstand and pulled out some weed. He smoked a bit and felt his muscles ease up from the tension he carried in them after seeing her.

Killmonger.

His name on her lips sounded so dead to him. There was no malice in her eyes, but they seemed clouded like she was really and truly over him.

That's what he wanted, right? He told her to focus on school and to forget him. But faced with it, faced with true indifference…he didn't want her to forget him.

Taking a long drag he thought of Linda and what she told him. She noticed Yani keeping her eyes on him. She had to still feel something. Lingering in his bedroom had to mean something. Too many good memories in the place. All the things they did to one another. All the time they slept together in a pile with Sydette between them.

Twyla was right. He had to have a final conversation with her that didn't come from a place of anger, but one of love. They still had to part, but he wanted it to be on better terms. He did have things he wanted to say to her. Secret things. Maybe even promise her something that he didn't think he had a right to.

Stubbing out the joint in an ashtray, Erik jumped out of bed and put on some loose sweatpants and shirt.

He borrowed one of Klaue's smaller cars, a blue Beemer with a moon roof.

He let air flow through from the roof of the car as he drove to Yani's place. Every few minutes he thought about turning around, but once he pulled into the parking lot of her small complex, he was fully committed to talking with her.

After a bit of deep breathing in the car, Erik walked up the stairs and tried to find the right words to say. Once he was in front of her door on the far end of the floor, he felt a bit calmer, less afraid. He debated about texting or calling her. It was too late. He was already there and high as fuck…

He pressed his ear to her door.

Noise.

Talking.

No…not talking.

Moaning.

Shit.

"Yes, Baby!"

The seductive mewling in her voice raised his blood pressure.

She was fucking someone.

Zachary.

Erik removed his ear from the door. His hands pressed against the door frame and he closed his eyes. His body burned with rage. That little punk bitch.

He heard a loud male groan erupt from behind the door.

Erik clenched his fists.

The weed had him spinning scenarios. Bust the fucking door down and drag her off that nigga's dick. Or wait for Zachary to leave and pound on the door and…and do what?

Yell at her for getting dick when he had empty boxes of condoms in his room that she saw? Two days prior he was guts deep in some bitch with big ass titties making her holler out his name. Nutted all in that woman's face and didn't even think about Yani while he did it.

But that's your woman in there. Giving your pussy away.

Erik walked away from the apartment.

Back in the car, he pulled out his cell.

Call her. Break up their little party.

Fuming in the car, he sat there for a long time until he could think straight. The weed still had his mind spinning, but he was able to drive back to the compound and crawl into his bed. The sun was rising when he finally fell asleep.

###

"Hey, lazybones."

Erik blinked his eyes.

Linda looked down at him.

"You were out for a long time. Thought I'd check on you," she said.

Erik sat up.

He was still wearing his sweats.

"What time is it?"

"Two."

"Shit," he said.

"Stay in bed. You looked worn out last night."

Erik leaned against the headboard.

"You want anything to eat?"

"Nah. I'm just gonna chill. I feel tired still."

She touched his forehead.

"Are you feeling sick?"

He shook his head and pulled off his sweatshirt and pants. Crawling under the covers he tucked himself into a ball.

"I'll be up in an hour or so."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything. I have to get some things in town. Klaue is still out."

"Cool."

He pretended to go to sleep and Linda left his side.

When she opened his bedroom door, Yani was using a soft bristle broom to sweep the floor in the hall.

"Don't bother him. He's sleeping in," Linda said.

Erik saw Yani's eyes sweep over Linda's short house dress, and then her eyes caught his on the bed before Linda shut the door.

"Bring him some of that soup around three," Linda said.

"Him sick?"

The lilt in Yani's voice had concern.

"No," Linda said.

"Does he need medicine?"

"No. Just bring him the soup to the kitchen like I asked and he'll be fine."

Erik stayed curled under the covers until he saw from his bedroom viewscreen that Yani had left the house. He jumped in the shower and cleaned up, shaved, and threw on some light cologne. He pulled on some beige loungers and hopped back on the bed.

Exactly in one hour, he saw Yani heading down to Klaue's main house with a covered tray. She entered the space and headed to the kitchen.

He hopped on the intercom.

"Can you bring that here, please? In my room?"

He watched Yani's face look perturbed as she stood in the kitchen. She knew he was watching her.

"Yuh not sick. Get it yourself."

She left the kitchen.

"Bring it here please."

He watched her calculate her next move. Unlike the time when they were together at the compound alone, Klaue had everything watched. If she refused to do her job, Klaue would see it. The bedrooms were pretty secure because Klaue did allow that privacy. He wanted her in his room.

"I have some laundry to be picked up too," he said.

He saw her lip pout and he smiled. Her cell phone rang.

"Yeah?" she answered.

Erik waited. A smile came across her face and she started to giggle into the phone. Flirty-like.

"Mi can't tonight…can't. I'm working…"

She hung up and put her cell in her back pocket. Her smile left her face when she picked up the food tray and carried it to his room. She kicked the door with her foot softly.

He opened it.

"Thanks," he said taking it from her hand.

She turned away.

"Wait, the laundry, my sheets—"

"You do your own cleaning, remember?"

Her eyes were petulant looking up at him.

"Yeah, but um…I'm not feeling great—"

"Linda said you were fine…can I go?"

Mean.

She wasn't with the shits.

Her mind was on giggling over Zachary.

He walked slowly over to his bed and climbed in balancing the tray. She moved over to help him.

"Thanks," he said.

Her eyes took in the room and when they glanced at his dresser, he made sure the condoms were gone. She went to the hamper in his bathroom.

"There's nothing in here," she said, annoyed.

"I need these sheets changed," he said.

"I'll come back then, or you can have Linda change them for you—"

"Yani, wait a minute."

He lifted up too fast and the tray tilted. He spilled some soup on the covers.

"You did that on purpose," she said.

"No, I didn't."

"What do you want, man?"

He hated the sound of her voice at that moment. She didn't want to be around him.

"I miss you," he said.

"I don't think so."

"I do—"

"You got Linda and whoever else…"

Her eyes drifted toward the dresser.

"And you have Zachary."

Her eyes regarded him with suspicion.

"I heard you on your phone."

"You don't know who I was talking to."

"You're not with him?"

She left the room.

Erik jumped off the bed and ran after her.

"Hold up—"

"I don't have time for your shit—"

He grabbed her hand. She snatched it back.

"Clean up your own fucking mess!"

She stormed out of the house and he let her go.

"Whoa. That was…awkward."

Linda walked into the room, coming in through the back door.

Shit.

"So…um…the help…" she said.

Erik stomped back to his room and slammed the door shut.

###

Chp 22 Here

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[365days365movies]

February 4, 2021: You’ve Got Mail (Part 2)

You hear that? You’ve Got Mail, and it contains Part 2 of the Review! Check out Part 1 for the rest.

The Shop Around the Corner is beginning to get more public support, with Fox Books taking the role of the villain. But, OK, real talk here...it’s too fuckin’ late. Look, I’m not exactly the biggest supporter of the corporate capitalism that dominates the country, then and now, but...you’re not getting rid of this megastore. And I’m not exactly against a way to get books at lower prices. AND, for that matter, Kathleen’s shop is ONLY A CHILDREN’S BOOK STORE. Where am I going to get my tasteful hardcore Fabio-esque erotica, HUH? Or, for that matter, REALLY GOOD LOOKING DESERTS? Fox Books, that’s where! Or, y’know, at the 241 Starbucks throughout the city. Actually number, by the way, as of 2019.

As if to prove my point, the increased publicity basically changes nothing, and the store’s still on its way under. Kathleen, scared and desperate, formally asks Joe for help, and the two agree to meet. And I’m sure it’s gonna go totally fine. Kevin gives Joe a pep talk (I really like Kevin, by the way), and Joe’s FULLY PREPARED to leave Patricia and marry her on the spot. Still, nervous, he asks Kevin to look.

And yeah, that’s when Joe finds out that it’s Kathleen. And, although he initially leaves...he comes back to see her, pretending not to be the dude, WHEN HE IS OBVIOUSLY THE DUDE. This results in the two having a tete-a-tete once more. It also results in Joe learning what Kathleen thinks of his e-mail persona, making this AN ENTIRELY one-sided relationship. And goddamn, she is also EXTREMELY mean to him. What she says to him hurts ME on a personal level, GODDAMN

This movie is very weirdly mean-spirited, Jesus. And this is also after Joe points out that Kathleen’s basically cheating on Frank, and she BRUSHES IT AWAY LIKE AN INSECT. Joe, clearly (and somewhat understandably) hurt, also breaks it off online, having experienced the verbal assault (also somewhat justified, to be fair) from Kathleen.

The next morning, Joe has officially broken it off in his own head, while Kathleen is convinced that something’s happened to her online boyfriend. The workers at the shop believe that he was actually arrested, as the “Rooftop Killer,” who’s been roaming the city, and was just arrested that night. Later that day, she writes to Joe once again, admitting that she feels bad for the words she said to Joe the previous night, and that she still wishes to meet him at some point.

And Joe, conflicted and confused, reads it and walks away. And during what is a VERY neat editing flourish, he constantly walks past the computer over time, until eventually deciding to reply to her. While he initially tries to make stupid, overcomplicated excuses for “not showing up,” he eventually replies by saying he can’t tell her, but asks for forgiveness. And his letter, despite the circumstances...is actually somewhat heartfelt. He even takes responsibility for his own actions in their conflict, whether or not she realizes it. And the two continue their correspondence.

Time marches on. We find out that Birdie maybe fucked the Spanish dictator in the ‘60s; and Kathleen breaks up with Bernard from Megamind (my girlfriend pointed this out, AND I CANNOT UNSEE IT, HOLY SHIT), after it’s revealed that they...actually don’t love each other, even a little bit. Man, what is it with Meg Ryan amicably breaking up with guys in a restaurant in New York City in February? I hate the fact that this is a specific story beat I’ve seen twice in two days.

The Shop Around the Corner officially closes (and a customer suggests bombing Fox Books, FUCKIN’ YIKES, PRE-9/11 NYC), and Kathleen visits the giant bookstore for the first time. We see the children’s section, and I gotta fuckin tell you...I like the giant bookstore way more. Yeah, sorry, I’m all about that bookcore, that small independent bookstore aesthetic...but DAMN, I love this store!

It’s also revealed that Kathleen was completely right about the employee’s lack of knowledge on books, which Joe sees first hand. Which shows that they...both had good points...huh. That’s...actually a good take on their antagonism. Interesting. Go on, movie, go on. We also find out that Kathleen Kelly has a reputation for good taste and a comprehensive knowledge of children’s books.

This is revealed by Patricia, who’s suddenly revealed to be a...heartless bitch? Self-admitted, even. That revelation is accompanied by Joe and Patricia being trapped in an elevator, where the bitchiness compounds further, and he IMMEDIATELY LEAVES HIS GIRLFRIEND. Should’ve built that up a little better, guys. Or do something else, like...I’ll wait for the Review.

Their correspondence continues, and Kathleen says goodbye to her mother’s store, and the ghosts of her happy memories with her there. It’s poignant, gotta say. The next morning, both John and his dad appear to be on the outs with their significant others, and are living on their boats. A conversation between the two makes Joe realizes that he’d like to be, well...happy in a relationship? A legitimate revelation.

Joe decides to try and make amends with Kathleen, who’s not exactly happy to see him. She’s also currently sick, but Joe’s brought her flowers. They have a conversation, during which they start to have a heart-to-heart, and Joe drops the name of the movie. Smooooooooth.

The two begin a friendship in person, with Kathleen not knowing that Joe is the person she’s been talking to, while Joe is...completely...aware...this is not OK, is it? This relationship is entirely one-sided, and in Joe’s favor. And I genuinely don’t like that. I get that, back in the late ‘90s, during the very fledgling era of internet relationships, that this is a novelty and cute. But, in a post-catfishing time, this movie has aged, once again...like vintage milk. Not fucking well.

Also, real talk, I get that they’re building their relationship as a friendship post-rivalry...but he DID still CRUSH your bookstore. He crushed your mother’s legacy in favor of his own family legacy. It’s, uh...not great, to be honest. And it’s also not terribly convincing, sorry to say. The romantic connection sort of comes out of nowhere. And as the film ends, the weird power play just gets worse and worse. I dunno, it just feels...odd to me.

At the last moment, before Kathleen is set to meet her online friend/love interest, Joe is walking with her and reveals his feelings for her, which are now quite romantic. She’s quite close to reciprocating, but leaves to go on her potential date with the mystery man. She heads to Riverside Park, where the two are to finally meet.

And they do. And she wanted it to be him, so badly.

AND I WOULD HAVE PUNCHED HIM IN THE GODDAMN FACE HOLY SHIT. HE WOULD BE ON. THE. FLOOR IF I WERE IN HER PLACE. I would be FEELING HIS TEETH on my GODDAMN KNUCKLES, I TELL YOU WHAT.

...Yeah, that’s You’ve Got Mail, and I got some fuckin’ ISSUES. See you in the Review, yeah?

[babyybitchhh]

For science’s sake though, I would love to know what Senkuu and Gen give as Valentine’s Day gifts! Shikamaru as well! Thank you!😍

SFW content isn’t usually my speed but I am just SO in my feelings recently that this ask was like Cupid’s arrow straight to the heart and I’m here for it. Let’s go.

Senkuu

Isn’t particularly impressed by Valentine’s Day. Like. At all. He thinks it’s silly. He thinks there’s a hundred better ways one could be spending their time and money but, despite his personal feelings on the matter, he GETS why people like it. He’s not anywhere near so heartless as to completely scoff at the feelings of others even though he’s pretty damn sure he’s not about that life himself. “Good for them, but I’m different.”

But then here you are and oh, shit. You’re quite possibly the most attractive human being he’s ever seen - cute and fun and interesting as all get out. He recognizes what he’s feeling right off the bat but he’s not particularly happy about it so it takes him a good while to come around and accept the fact he’s contracted a serious case of the dreaded Love Sickness. And when I tell you this boy approaches his feelings just as tempered and methodically as everything else in his life, I mean that wholeheartedly.

Still has very little interest in Valentine’s itself. The sudden emergence of his feelings does not change that. But now he’s finding that he wants to make you happy and since girls expect displays of affection on this day more than any other, he knows he’s gotta step up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. Especially since he wouldn’t want you to think that he doesn’t care about you in some capacity or, worse, give someone else the opportunity to woo you while he’s floundering in indecision. That’s just so not his style.

Senkuu is a very steadfast individual and if he decides he’s going to humor this silly little crush, then by god that’s what he’s going to do.

The only problem is; how exactly does he do that? With no previous experience to build off of, all he can do is think back on what he’s seen other people doing and use his brain to find the answer. He spends a lot of time considering all his options, weighing the pros and cons of each one carefully. He doesn’t want to seem too eager or overly enthusiastic so giant teddy bears are simply out of the question. But he also doesn’t want to settle on a small, inconsequential gift that doesn’t have any real meaning behind it so a simple box of chocolates is also a no-go.

After spending a long time scouring the internet for ideas and looking over trinkets through store windows on his way back and forth from home, he finally decides to show you how he feels the only way he conceivably CAN.

By giving you the world - or your own personal, fun-sized version of it anyway.

❤️❤️❤️

Gen

Gen loves Valentine’s Day. Full stop. Do not even attempt to get between this man and his half-priced chocolates the day afterward because there’s no guarantee that you won’t come out the other side missing a finger or two. But when it comes to the lovey-dovey aspect of the holiday, he’s much less into it. Unimpressed is what you’d call it and not for any jaded, edgy reasons but because he is the very definition of affectionate displays all year round. He doesn’t need a special reason to show someone he cares for them and, if anything, this is just another day of the week for him.

True to nature, he goes out of his way to make people believe the exact opposite though. He’ll drag the very concept of Valentine’s through the mud and decry any individual who foolishly stakes their entire heart and soul on mustering up the courage just to confess to the person they like. He calls it a cliche and wonders at the girls who actually fall for that after school special crap. “Wait, you mean you actually said ‘yes’? Aikes-yay.”

He’s so convincingly sincere that you not only fully believe he hates the holiday but you also don’t expect a single goddamn thing from him. Not so much as a simple “happy Valentine’s Day” let alone an actual gift. Surely even that would be expecting too much and never mind receiving any poignant, heartfelt declarations of love. You’ve long since accepted the fact that it’s going to be a night in with very little to show for it.

But to your absolute astonishment, you wake up that morning to a text telling you to have a good and happy Valentine’s with more heart emojis than you know what to do with. Okaaaaay. Unexpected but you’re still pleasantly surprised. Maybe he was just pretending to throw you off?

With that thought officially taking root in your head, you go about your day fully expecting Gen to show up at any moment with a giant teddy bear in tow or an arm full of roses and the anticipation leaves you vibrating. Disappointment starts to settle in as the afternoon drags into evening but then … out of nowhere he asks if you want to go get dinner with him. Huh. Thinking for sure he’s got something planned now, you readily agree.

Only to end up standing in front of a McDonald’s. Oh, you’re going to kill him. That’s exactly what you get for playing games with a Gemini and no, it’s not actually canon, but you can rip that HC right out of my cold dead hands.

However, just as you’re getting ready to pop off for the insult, he gives you one of those evil grins and says “Just kidding.” He actually has reservations for a lovely five-star restaurant just around the corner. You fell for his misdirection hook line and sinker, and he doesn’t try to hide how cute he thinks your reaction is. The look on your face when he reveals the big surprise is totally worth it and, just to seal the deal and assure you of his sincerity, he gives you a kiss and one of his favorite flowers with a love note attached.

❤️❤️❤️

Shikamaru 

If you look up the definition of ‘sweet’ in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of this boy plastered right there for all to see. Despite his almost standoffish outer shell, Shikamaru is not only sensitive but he’s actually really attached to the concept of classically styled love. Kind of hard not to be when he grew up watching his parent’s relationship but that’s a post for another day. He hides it well enough that he almost even manages to convince himself that he’s not Like That but he is. Deep down in his heart of hearts, he knows he is. So, assuming that Valentine’s Day were to find its way to Konoha in the same shape that we know it, I think he’d be all about the holiday. At least in theory, anyway. 

Application would be another matter entirely though. His emotional sensitivity goes both ways so he’d be nervous and more than a little embarrassed about the whole ordeal, not to mention terrified of rejection. What if you hate the gift he gets you? What if he just embarrasses himself? What if you laugh about it with your friends later? What if he puts himself out there and you don’t even feel the same way? Being a genius is as much a blessing as it is a curse and he’d sooo easily get lost in his thoughts just going over every single ‘what-if’ scenario he can come up with. 

The poor guy is a wreck about it and he gets very close to talking himself out of doing anything at all more than once. His feelings for you are the only thing that stop him from throwing in the towel but he runs into the same problem of not knowing what to get. Flowers and candy are always a safe choice, based on what he’s heard Ino say in passing, but is that really the path he wants to walk? Don’t you deserve better than that though? Stuffed animals are far more attention-grabbing and extravagant but they don’t really suit his shy, reclusive nature and, honestly, he’d just feel like an idiot carrying around something like that. He’s truly at a loss and with the dreaded date fast approaching, he has to make a decision. Soon. 

It’s officially time for one of his brooding, soul searching walks while he tries to work out the problem in his head. By pure happenstance, he comes across one of the Nara artisan’s shops and, figuring he’s got nothing to lose, he decides to look over his distant uncle’s wares. That’s when he spots it. A real eureka moment and he’s brimming with excitement as he pays for the item, feeling pretty good about himself until the doubts start creeping in again.

When Valentine’s finally comes around, Shikamaru avoids you for most of the day. He just can’t bring himself to confront you until it's so late in the afternoon that the sun is starting to set and you notice his almost awkward behavior immediately. He adamantly insists that nothing is wrong, coming off almost grumpier than normal, but when he finally screws up the courage to pull the gift out of his pocket, you know exactly why he’s acting like this. 

“So you always have a piece of me - a piece of the Nara with you.” 

Understated and elegant, dark to match his family’s signature jutsu but feminine enough to get his feelings across, it is truly the sort of gift only HE could give you.

❤️❤️❤️

*Note: Valentine’s is considered to be for girls in Japan, while White Day is for boys, and since these characters are all Japanese I stuck with that narrative. If anyone wants something similar for White Day (March 14th) just let me know!

[trying-write-fanfics]

OverhaulXreader part 23

Time went on. Gramps got a granddaughter. He stayed away though due to the strained relationship. He still had Kai. Y/n would come over here and there, and even cooked for gramps sometimes.

The add-on bakery was stressful to say the least. Y/n was working double time for the restaurant and starting the bakery. Menu, ingredients, advertising, permits, inspections, and management were all struggling. Those were the problems Y/n was trying to control. Then there was villain activity which was also stressing her out. They were just people using their quirks and destroying buildings and stealing. Organized crime was a lot less annoying, they didn’t involve civilians like Y/n. Sometimes she had to take a different route home or wait for subways to get repaired. Witness reports also took up her time.

Though her least favorite was the hostage situation. Mainly because all she wanted to do was cash a check out to have a fun weekend with friends on a holiday. Some villain who has never robbed a back shot the ceiling and told everyone to get down.

“I need a hostage-you” the villain pointed at her.

He grabbed her by the wrist and held the gun to her throat. She had mixed feelings, one being scared, the other being done with life. There was no easy day and she was a little done with life.

“C'mon this way.” The man said.

How did these situations happen? Sometimes she wishes she was a zombie detective or at least had a cool quirk to defend herself. Her mind was nowhere near where her actual body was.

“Maybe after this you and I could go on a date, I got money.” The man said.

“Yeah, we’re gonna tell our grandkids that grandpa went to jail for shooting grandma at the bank?” She sassily said.

“You didn’t have to be such a-“

A police officer took them out like an American football player. Her shoulder popped when the three hit the floor.

Luckily Y/n was going to a hot spring resort with some girl friends. They were from the choir group, but the ones they were around her age. She however bought her own separate room. They gossiped, laughed, and truly relaxed in the communal spring. It was all nice and she felt the stress melting away. In a robe she went to her hotel bed and just laid on it. She let her legs hang off the side. The phone rang and it was her non labeled love.

“Saw you were on the news.” Kai said on the other side without a hello.

“I can’t even cash a check without someone rubbing their damn quirks or guns in my face.” She groaned .

“Come over tonight. I got you a bottle of wine.”

“Sorry handsome, I’m at a resort this weekend.”

“You’re what?”

“Girls from my choir group thought it would be fun to sit in a hot spring together.”

“Did you get naked with those old ladies?”

“No younger girls joined my group awhile back.”

“You know you’re sitting in your own filth in those baths.”

“Good thing I couldn’t come over this weekend.” She told him.

“You could shower in my shower.” He offered.

“Is that your attempt at foreplay?”

“I can try can’t I?”

“I do miss you.” She told him, making sure the air was clear.

“What day are you coming back?”

“Why, you miss me?”

“I haven’t seen you since your period incident.” He told her.

“Work has been hard. Sometimes I wish I was just a housewife without any kids. Like maybe I have hobbies like I garden and I smile and wave at people and it’s enough contribution to society.” She rambled.

“You know-“

“I don’t mean it Kai. I’d be so bored. I’d have to have like a small army of kids to be the same amount of work as this bakery.”

“So when can I see you again?”

“I’ll let you know after the trip. I've been working overtime last month.” She whined.

“I’ll be waiting for you. Are you fine with the whole hostage situation that happened?”

It was weird hearing Kai being emotionally worried.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams angel.”

Y/n had a nice time and the weekend ended. Some of her choir friends joined her to clean the new

Bakery. They bought the building, and now they had to clean it.

“So, you seeing anyone Y/n? My brother was kinda interested at the last concert.”

“Uh-yeah I am.”

“Ooh a boyfriend?”

“No...he’s uh.”

“So you’re not seeing anyone or you’re talking about….” her friend trailed off.

“Is he a lame ass no labels type of guy? Y/n you’re so hard working you deserve someone who wants to give it their all!” Her other friend said.

“It’s not like that, we just haven’t talked about that.” She tried to explain.

“Wait are you like that? I never took you for someone so casual, Y/n.”

“It’s not like that.”

The subject died down, but Y/n couldn’t stop thinking about what her and Kai were. He called her his angel, but never his girlfriend. After the hard work, the girls started drinking, and not thinking, Y/n took the subway to the main compound. She was looking for Kai. She knocked the door over a million times and Pops answered.

“Y/n, what are you doing here, it’s the middle of the night?”

“Oh my god, I’m looking for Kai and looking back at it I should have just texted or called or, something instead of showing up, but I really wanna talk to him, is he here? I saw a dead rat on the subway.” She drunkly rambled.

“Kai should be home soon, why not wait with me.”

“Okay.” She started crying because that’s just how drunk she was.

The two sat at couches as they tried to play shogi. Instead Pops let her pretend to know what she was doing as she talked.

“I just don’t know Pops, what are Kai and I? He’s so cute and he’s so nice to me, but he doesn’t even want me talking to his crew. God every time I talk about him I make him sound like a hip hop rapper.” She sobbed.

“Well when he gets here you can ask him, but I promise you, Kai likes you very much.” Pops promised.

“Yeah? When he gets old is he gonna own a koi pond and just feed the fish all day?” Y/n asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“I’m in a choir group to make friends and there’s a bunch of old ladies, maybe you might want to meet them if you’re not seeing anyone. I know you lost your wife to cancer.” She was still sobbing but Pops wasn’t judging. “And I told them that if they don’t find anyone at the retirement home I’ll take them clubbing and I’m not ready for clubbing with anyone.”

“Kai won’t make you go clubbing.”

“He’s such a prince, you raised him right.”

The front door unlocked and the awkward situation for Pops to be over. It was not the man of the hour, but instead Chrono.

“Oh my god, it’s you, the guy who bought a gun from my mom.” She was still sobbing.

“You don’t remember my name?” Chrono asked.

“No, I’m drunk and conflicted about so many things.”

“Chrono why not keep Y/n company, I’m old and tired”.

“Goodnight pops.” Y/n said like a person.

“This situation keeps happening. You drunk, me sober.”

“Oh my god, where is Kai?”

“He is taking care of some final things, I thought I would leave some paper work here.”

“Does he talk about me?”

“No because he told us not to talk about you, remember that?”

“I don’t even remember your name, and want me to remember things. Does he even like me?”

“Yes. That is an easy one.”

“You think he thinks I’m cute.”

“I would bet money on that.”

“I saw a dead rat on the subway and I thought that was an omen for my death and Kai showing up to my funeral saying he’s my friend and my mom is gonna be like damn wish he would have said more because she knows on the down low him and I are you know…”

“Wait you think Kai is gonna speak at your funeral.”

“He’s gotta be a leader. He’d be like Y/n was sufficient at cooking and she made people smile, her only downfall was having periods.”

“I’m sure he knows that periods are inevitable.”

“You were friends with him after I left, you there when school gave him the puberty talk? We’re they honest?” Y/n asked.

“Let’s call him to make sure he knows the truth about periods.”

“No, I’m too drunk to make phone calls.”

“But not too drunk to go to someone’s house?”

“I just feel like if I explained my system, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I would travel with you.”

“Girls trip!” She sang. “But on the real real, I don’t know if you could handle my thunder I love hotel rooms and pools.”

“Is that a-“

“Oh my god, that wasn’t sexual.”

Kai came through the door, he was stressed that the meeting took longer than intended and he didn’t understand why they had as many questions as they did, unless they were undercover cops. He found Y/n and Chrono sitting in the front room. She looked a little disheveled.

[thetriggeredhappy]

idk if you've done 31. speedingbullet before but oh man, that would be such a wholesome blessing ♡

missed the festival in town this year unfortunately bc travel reasons, time to live vicariously through these fictional 60s/70s gays again. (warnings for sappy, mentions of vomit in goof contexts, mentions of weed because im a creature, food)

31.) “Can I kiss you?”

One of these days, he’d figure out how to get Sniper out of his shell. He was sure of it.

He’d tried just about everything he could think of. He’d invited Sniper to the movies, to tag along to help with a shopping run, out to eat at three kinds of restaurants for lunch and two for dinner. Hell, he’d ended up roping Sniper into a double date, himself set up with a fiery-tempered girl who’d dumped a drink on his head and then written her number on his arm, Sniper with the tag-along friend who apparently needed to get out more. The date hadn’t gotten much of anywhere, the girl and him half-arguing the whole time and Sniper and the other girl staring at their plates and hardly even chiming in when invited. It had taken a bit of pestering to get Sniper to go out again after that.

He dragged Sniper to team meals, to bars, to clubs, to casinos. To a museum, to the farmer’s market, to a flea market. And each and every time he brought Sniper somewhere, the man ended up pacing along beside Scout, hands in his pockets, quietly chiding him when he got argumentative with civilians and quietly laughing at him when his bad luck had him making a fool of himself.

He just wouldn’t open up. Scout told him story after story, showed him all his own interests, presented every kind of joke he could think of, and the guy wouldn’t budge. Wouldn’t start telling his own jokes, wouldn’t start telling his own stories. Wouldn’t commentate on the things around them unless directly asked, and never once suggested where they should go next.

If Scout didn’t like a challenge so much, he would’ve ripped his own damn hair out.

The fair was his last resort. If he couldn’t get Sniper to open up somehow with the excitement and variety and overall greatness of an entire fair, then he was denouncing the man as a robot who did not feel things or have real emotions and turning him over to Engie for further study.

This was the middle day of the fair, meaning it was straight up bustling. Every stand had at least two people at it, and all the food booths had lines, and all the rides had even longer lines, and the number of teenagers stood around with each other was downright astronomical. This was a big fair, too, one of those harvest-type once-a-year nothing-else-ever-happens-in-this-state festivals that people would come from all over the place to go to. Engie had a lot to say on those kinds of things, and in fact had been the one to suggest Scout go check it out after hearing about it from some other old person when he was out doing some work-related supply run stuff.

Scout was most excited, as he often was, by the food.

The first thing they did once they got in the place was beeline to the first booth, some caramel corn thing, to get a small bag of it. Sniper commented lightly on his restraint. The second was to go to the next booth, which sold cotton candy. They got one cone to split between them. The third was to go to the next booth, which was one of those fair-specific food trucks. Sniper was starting to catch on.

“Aren’t these… well, the same sorts of food you can just find in a city somewhere?” Sniper asked, voice lowered so that only Scout could hear him.

Scout put on his best expression of complete shock and offense. “What! No, it’s totally different! The hell you talkin’ about? Fair food is awesome!”

“I mean… I’m not so sure, mate,” Sniper said carefully, glancing over the colorfully-painted sign.

“I—okay, hold on,” Scout instructed, and turned to pay as he was handed his latest portion of food, the Bucket ‘O Fries. “I mean, c’mon, check this out! It’s a bucket of french fries, what’s to dislike?”

Sniper looked at him blankly as they walked away from the food truck. Scout breathed in and began to elaborate.

“I mean, okay, the quality of the fries? Not great. I’ll admit, they’re fuckin’ shit, garbage oil sticks, and they’re also just straight up delicious. They’re the best trash. They’re the truck stop diner bacon of french fries. They’re tasty nightmares. I’m literally gonna like, sweat oil and salt after eating these, and it’s absolutely worth it. You can’t get this specific brand of perfect awfulness anywhere but at a fair. And, and? It’s in a bucket. That’s hilarious. Food in a bucket is awesome. Like, it’s maybe the closest a food place can get to calling its customers animals without making them eat from a trough, and I’m all about it. And you get to keep the bucket. Like, I just have a little plastic trash-lookin’ bucket now. What part of this isn’t objectively the greatest?”

Sniper considered the question. “Well, don’t imagine you’ll be able to eat all those,” he said after thinking about it for a moment. “So, not ideal.”

“Dude, don’t even worry about that. Best part of a carnival like this? They’ve got all this horrible garbage food, and like thirty feet away—“ He stopped in his tracks, and Sniper stopped as well, following his line of sight. “—They have spinny rides that’ll make you puke.”

Sniper was still. Scout watched him, waiting for a reaction. “Rides make you throw up?” he asked after a second.

“If I eat a whole fuckin’ bucket of french fries before I get on, then hell yeah they do,” Scout said cheerfully.

Sniper considered that, or maybe just stared at the ride and all of the screaming and hollering people aboard it.

“How many foods come in a bucket, y’think?” Sniper asked.

“Uh, you got fries,” Scout said, lifting his Bucket ‘O Fries to demonstrate his point. “You got fried chicken. I went to this place once with chicken tenders in a bucket with fries.”

“So just a combination of the first two,” Sniper said.

“Oh my god, what? Dude, no way, fried chicken and chicken tenders are wildly different, you kiddin’ me?” Scout gasped. “Barely the same food group!”

Sniper shifted his feet, still watching the ride. “How’re they different?”

“Don’t even get me started, man,” Scout warned.

“Do you even know the food groups?” Sniper asked next, voice flat in a way that Scout had learned meant Sniper was joking.

“Sniper, as a connoisseur of absolute garbage, you insult me,” Scout deadpanned back. “Let’s take some laps of the games and stuff before we go on the rides, I gotta have time to appreciate these fries before they’re being sent into a trash can.”

Sniper shrugged in agreement, following Scout as he started off towards some of the games.

Scout blew a good twenty dollars on the bottle ring toss game, pleased to hear Sniper chiming in every time he made a particularly bad throw. The next booth over had Scout making a repeat performance with the cane ring toss game, except he did manage to win himself exactly one prize, a sticky hand which only ended up directly in his pocket due to the look of immediate dismay on Sniper’s face when he saw Scout wielding it.

“Hey, if there’s one of those shooting games here, think you’d wanna play it? Show up some people?” Scout asked.

Sniper shook his head. “Mate, even out here in civvies,” he started, plucking at the shoulder of Scout’s civilian t-shirt and the chest of his own choice of clothing, a green-grey button-up, “I imagine an Australian washing out the place and a Boston bloke cheering him on would earn enough looks to get us recognized. Especially since you’ve still got the hat and I’ve the glasses.” He tapped first the bill of Scout’s hat, then the side of his own shades.

“Then we fake some accents,” Scout said cheerfully.

Sniper raised an eyebrow, which Scout had long learned was the closest thing to emoting that Sniper managed most of the time. “As if you know how to fake accents,” Sniper said, a note of disbelief showing through.

“What, you think I don’t?” Scout challenged, bumping elbows with him partially by accident as they needed to squeeze between two gaggles of people.

“Do one, then,” Sniper said simply.

Scout cleared his throat, raising his chin. “Oi, look ‘ere, mind tellin’ me where you might find a hotel ‘round ‘ere?” Scout said in an approximation of a lighthearted British accent.

Sniper stared at him. “The hell’d you learn to do that? That was damn well spot on,” Sniper said, both eyebrows raised now.

Scout kept grinning, ducking ahead for a second to squeeze between two intersecting lines of people. When Sniper caught back up he started explaining. “Me an’ one’a my brothers spent these two summers pullin’ this scam,” he started to explain. “We’d pretend to be tourists in town for tour group stuff, sneak into tour groups around the middle’a the day with these old busted cameras he got off people and fake accents so people thought we were from somewhere else, get into buffets for tour-specific stuff and eat for free and leave again,” he explained. “First summer we did it for like two months straight with different tours, second summer we only made it a month in before we had to cut it out.”

“Why?”

“His ex-girlfriend apparently got a job as a tour guide. That was, uh, the second time I ended up in custody that summer.”

“Hooligan,” Sniper murmured in a way that made Scout unsure if he was being made fun of, scolded, or congratulated.

They ended up at the ball toss at some point, which Scout did end up knocking out of the park a few times until the attendant told him to please move along already, reasoning that they already had a frankly ludicrous number of stuffed animals. Indeed, Sniper was carrying three large ones, and Scout had another one in the arm not carrying assorted food.

“I’m namin’ this guy Cotton Candy,” Scout said matter-of-factly, hefting the blue-pink-and-white rabbit up higher as it started to slip from his grip. “And I’m naming that guy Fry Bucket.”

“Which one?” Sniper asked, glancing between the three stuffed animals in his hand.

“That one,” Scout said, bumping a the yellow-and-purple-and-white-and-black slightly-suspicious-looking cat with his elbow. “Because the colors are bright like the bucket.”

“What about the other two?” Sniper asked.

“Eh, they’re yours, up to you.”

Sniper didn’t speak for a moment, just shifting the stuffed animals a bit. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I don’t got a use for four of these guys,” Scout shrugged. “Already I’m thinkin’ about whether Pyro’s gonna want Fry Bucket or Cotton Candy more.”

“What’s that second name about?” Sniper asked. “Is that a brand?”

“…What?”

“Cotton candy.” Sniper’s accent wrapped around the words strangely. “That a specific kind? The, er, blue-pink stuff?”

“…Of cotton candy?” Scout asked slowly.

“Yeah. It’s fairy floss, so is cotton candy then just a certain—“

“It’s fuckin’ what?” Scout asked, eyes lighting up.

Sniper paused for a few seconds. “…You people made up your own name for somethin’ again, haven’t you?” Sniper asked, sighing.

“Fairy floss? Okay, let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about that name.”

“No, we already did this with the bonnet and hood thing, and the… prawn and shrimp thing. So you people call it cotton candy. Noted. Moving on.”

“So like, the tiny winged girls, fuckin’—so goddamn Tinkerbell, she brushes her teeth, right? And she’s gotta be thorough. Ain’t gonna get no gum disease here in fuckin’ Neverland, no way, no adults here so no dentists so that’d go pretty bad. So she’s gotta floss, right? And she uses a goddamn cloud-lookin’ pillowy thing? It’s fairy floss?”

��I didn’t invent all of Australian slang,” Sniper interjected. “You can’t judge me for my country’s choice in naming things. I can’t help it.”

“It’s cotton candy, man! It’s cotton, like outta some kinda pillow, made with sugar. I don’t get why you would call it somethin’ else.”

“Apparently Ireland and those blokes up there split the difference, called it candy floss,” Sniper added in before Scout could get too carried away.

“It’s still not floss! Couldn’t pick a different one? Called it, what, fairy cotton?”

Sniper’s lip twitched up for a moment. “I’m nearly sure that’s some sort of code word for hooch, mate.”

“What the fuck is hooch? Are you speaking English? Am I in fuckin’ wonderland right now?” Scout asked, downright baffled.

“Hooch. Marijuana, cannabis. Mate, you said you grew up in the city, the hell you mean you don’t know what hooch is?”

“Who the fuck calls it hooch?! Man, I knew that Australia was weird, but seriously, it’s gotta be crazy down there,” Scout laughed.

They continued to wander the fairgrounds for awhile longer, and while Sniper was a bit more talkative than usual, Scout couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his imagination and his quietly trying to prompt Sniper into saying more. Eventually Scout could tell that the fairground was nearing closing time, crowd thinning alongside the various booths starting to close up shop and haul things away and lock stuff up for the night.

“I don’t think we’re gonna get around to that eating a ton of food and throwing up thing,” Scout said, a little bit put out.

“Sounds…” Sniper started to say, and stopped again quickly.

Scout waited. “What? What were you gonna say?”

Sniper hesitated. “I was going to say that it… sounds a bit juvenile, don’t you think?” he said slowly. “Not quite as fun as an adult.”

Scout considered that for a few seconds. “…Yeah. Maybe,” he conceded. “Haven’t done that since I was a teen. Might not be as great anymore.”

Sniper hummed. Scout kept talking, as he was used to.

“I mean, back then stuff was also pretty weird all the time,” he said, fidgeting with the handle on the fry bucket. “There was school, then practice, then I’d go home and have stuff with my brothers goin’ on all the time, some kinda shenanigans to pull. Now it’s just work, then I go do chores, then I’m all tired and don’t wanna do nothin’ except go to sleep, then I go to sleep and it’s the next day and I got work again. If I don’t got chores or whatever it’s fine, but man. When did I get all boring, y’know?”

“I don’t think you’re boring,” Sniper said quietly.

Scout looked at him, but couldn’t quite catch his expression the way he was holding the stuffed animals. “Huh? What’d you say?” he asked, fully aware but giving Sniper a chance to take that back or spin it into a joke the way just about everyone did.

“I don’t… I don’t think you’re boring,” Sniper said again, a bit louder now. “You’re interesting. You’ve got big opinions on just about everything, a million stories, a bunch of secret talents that only ever happen to come up at odd times. And you’ve got a lot of jokes. You’re…”

He trailed for a moment as they passed a small group of teens, chattering and laughing among themselves.

“You’re funny. You’re interesting,” Sniper said simply. “Not boring.”

Scout didn’t fight the smile that pulled at his face. “Well, look who’s gotten sweet all of a sudden,” he marveled aloud. Sniper readjusted the stuffed animals he was holding, bringing them closer to his face. “Well, speakin’ of sweet, want some more fairy floss before that place over there closes?”

Sniper nodded somewhere behind the layers of fluff and foam.

Their last stop was out towards the edge of the fairgrounds, the big ferris wheel they had set up. It was the tallest thing at the fair, no contest, and while it definitely wasn’t the biggest ferris wheel Scout had ever seen, or even been on, it was still surprisingly nice.

“Imagine that’s the sort that they need to break down to transport, rather than just keeping it on a trailer,” Sniper said almost offhandedly, following Scout’s line of sight.

“You know stuff about ferris wheels?” Scout asked, blinking.

Sniper shrugged. “Needed to for a job. Just the basics.”

“Huh. Cool.” Scout continued to look at the wheel. “Hey, I know sometimes they don’t shut those off at night, to like, promote the fair. Think they’ve still got an attendant working?”

“Probably not,” Sniper said, glancing around at the line of closed tents and booths around them.

“Wanna just hop on board?”

Sniper looked at him with a slight head tilt. “Why would we do that?”

Scout grinned. “Hey, we aren’t plannin’ on coming back here tomorrow, might as well make a grand exit and get kicked out,” he reasoned.

Sniper’s head tilted slightly further, almost disapproving. “We’d get arrested. The boss would be furious.”

“Assuming they call the cops and the cops get here before we’re gone. What’re they gonna do, be mad? Call our parents? Give us a stern lecture?” He elbowed Sniper. “Come on, let’s live a little!”

And then Scout was off, headed towards the wheel.

“I didn’t agree to this, technically,” Sniper said, hurrying to follow, voice slightly raised.

“But you’re gonna do it anyways!” Scout chimed.

Sniper did not argue that point.

The security was foolproof. A padlock and chain on a gate that was three feet high and had horizontal bars, as well as another lock on the control panel lever. Scout, known for his ability to jump vertically to well over his standing height, was quiet simply unequipped for such a challenge.

Sniper did have to hand over the stuffed animals before he could hop the gate, but soon Scout was placing Fry Bucket on lever duty and the other three nearby to stand guard, then he and Sniper were clambering into one of the cars and headed up.

It was going fairly slowly, to be fair. It took a solid minute for them to get only a bit above halfway up, and it spun them up backwards, meaning most of the view was obscured.

“Other wheels I went on usually spun the other way,” Scout commented lightly, kicking his feet up despite the slightly awkward angle. “Kept stopping to let people on and off, too. Way smaller, though.”

Sniper hummed. Silence fell.

Not long after they’d reached the apex and started heading back down again, Sniper sighed quietly. “I’m sorry if I got sharp with you,” he apologized, very serious. “I just… crowds aren’t much good to me. Too much noise, too much action. People too close. Gets me on edge.”

Scout was suddenly treated with the memory of just about every outing he’d gone so far as to take Sniper on, almost all of which involved crowds. “What?” he asked, taken aback. He pulled his feet down, sitting up. “Really? Dude, why didn’t you say nothin’? I’ve been takin’ you out to real bustlin’ places for like, two months!”

Sniper made a listless gesture. “Didn’t want to ruin your fun just because I’m a worrywart,” he replied, even quieter now. “And I doubt you’ve got many places you know that don’t involve whole masses of people. It’s your whole element.”

Scout couldn’t really argue with that. “Well, then I would’ve been letting you pick where we hang out,” he said stubbornly.

Sniper’s eyebrows drew together. “What? I thought you just wanted someone to bring with you when you went out,” Sniper said, clearly confused.

Scout blinked. “Dude, no. I’ve just been tryin’ to find a place you’d like to hang out in, see if I could get you to talk about anything. You’re always all quiet, I figured it was because you’re bored.”

“Of course not. Opposite, really. Gets overwhelming, I try my best to shut my mouth and pay attention.”

Scout needed a minute to loop his head around that. “Oh. Huh.” They reached the bottom of the wheel, but neither moved to get up, and they just continued on their steady path up again. “I… shit. Dude, I had no idea. I thought you were just hard to please.”

Sniper shook his head. “No. The places are always nice—this is nice—but I just…”

He trailed off. Scout waited for him to sort through his words.

“I just prefer… things like this,” he decided on. “Instead of noises and movement and close quarters and a hundred food smells.”

Scout’s mind went ahead and dealt with that one for a good minute. “Close quarters,” he repeated. “So this isn’t good either?”

“With other people, other folks,” Sniper clarified. “I’m fine with closed spaces.”

“Well, I’m other folks,” Scout said.

Sniper looked away, off to one side. “Not really,” he said, words almost lost to a breeze that decided to blow by just then. “You’re just Scout. I’m fine with you.”

Quiet again.

They made it to the top of the ride again, and Scout found himself relaxing a little bit. He tilted his head back.

“Can’t see the stars out here so good,” Scout said, looking up at the sky.

“Light pollution,” Sniper murmured in agreement, looking up as well. “I can hardly see any at all.”

“You’ve still got your shades on,” Scout half-laughed.

Sniper reached a hand up as if to push his glasses up his nose, and just kept his hand there on them for a few seconds.

“C’mon, not so many stars, by they’re still good ones,” Scout urged.

Sniper hesitated for a moment before he pulled the shades off, folding them, hanging them on his shirt. His gaze fell down below for a moment, then up to the sky. He had pretty eyes. There were some wrinkles around them, the kind of thing that meant Sniper either laughed a lot, or spent a lot of time in the sun, or a mixture of both. Scout realized he’d probably have his own pretty soon with his lifestyle. He found a lot of things funny.

Sniper briefly glanced at Scout out of the corner of his eye, then back away again.

“You’re staring,” Sniper said quietly, gaze falling to the tents and stands as they started on the inward down curve.

Scout looked away, also out at the area they’d just been in. Only a few places still had lights around them. The area was mostly dark, the tent blockings around them lit mainly by the gently changing lights on their ferris wheel. “You should take your shades off more,” Scout said.

Sniper shifted. “I use ‘em at work,” he replied. “They help me shoot.”

“You weren’t at work today, or any of the other times we went and did stuff,” Scout replied, tipping his head against the back of the seat, rolling his head to look at Sniper. Tiredness was creeping up on him, not in a cranky way, just in a lazy way.

“Why would I take ‘em off?” Sniper asked, not looking at him.

“So I can know where you’re lookin’,” Scout shrugged. “And because you look good, and they hide your face.”

Sniper’s eyes fell to his own knees, which he gripped in both hands. “Maybe that’s the point,” he said, voice rumbling against the lowest volume he could manage.

Scout kept looking at him, then back up at the sky as they made it to the upper half.

“Scout, I have a question,” Sniper said, eyes locked downward.

“Mm,” Scout hummed.

Sniper took a breath, exhaled. Looked over at Scout, made eye contact, maybe for the first time without the barrier of tinted, reflective lenses in the way. “Can I kiss you?”

Scout wasn’t sure what his expression was in the following several moments of silence, but it made Sniper tense, paling under the colorful lights, visibly sinking at roughly the same speed as the car they were in as they passed the apex.

“I’m sorry, I just—“ he started to stammer, backtracking as Scout did his best to mentally try and sort out the can of worms that was just opened. “I thought, we—ferris wheel, you sayin’ that I’m, I’m good looking, and—“

Scout saw the way he was fidgeting, fiddling, hands no longer able to be stuffed in his pockets to prevent it.

“—and you won those stuffed animals for me s’well, and you’ve been taking me to dinner, tryin’ to make me laugh, and—“

He couldn’t quite look at Scout, and maybe he could never quite look at Scout, and maybe that’s why he never took his sunglasses off. Maybe that’d why he kept his hat’s brim low. Maybe that’s why he held things up near his face.

“—and I just assumed, I, I’m sorry, I’m godawful at picking up the clues on that sort of thing, and maybe I just imagined things, I—“

“Do you wanna?”

Sniper’s rambling stammered to a halt. He didn’t look at Scout. “What?”

“Hey. Look at me.” It took a minute, but he did, tipping his head up first, eyes following a second later. Crow’s feet. “Do you wanna kiss me?”

Sniper managed the tiniest of nods.

“Out loud,” Scout added, voice level.

Sniper took a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like to,” he said.

Scout tilted his head up for a second. They were headed back up and over again. Stars.

“Yeah,” Scout decided. “You can, if you want.”

Sniper had to take a second to process that. But then, slowly, he placed his hand on Scout’s shoulder. He second-guessed himself, hand moving instead to rest on Scout’s cheek, tilting his face only on accident, and then Sniper was kissing him.

It felt nice. Scout reached up slowly so as to keep from scaring Sniper away, an arm wrapping up around his shoulders.

By the time they pulled away, they were at the bottom of the wheel again. Sniper managed to smile at him, so visibly relieved and contented that it almost left Scout reeling, the sudden input of reaction making his head spin.

“You taste like fries,” Sniper informed him quietly.

Scout laughed.

[oldxsoulsx]

Always Yours - Kryoz OneShot

oooof. Sorry this was so long guys! It took maybe an hour for me to write, but it felt like 10. I’m at work now, which is where I write most of the time (my client goes to bed at like 7:30, I gotta stay up until midnight so what else should I do lol)

But here ya go. A super long, super fluffy, probably not as good as I think it is Kryoz OneShot!

When you saw him, you knew you were fucked.

Disheveled bleached hair, with brown roots growing out. Rings on almost all 10 fingers, nails painted different colors. Vape in his right hand, phone in his left.

Is this the person that Jaren had wanted you to meet?

You sighed, making your way over to the stranger, and your best friend of 10 years. When Jaren saw you, a smile stretched on his face.

“(Y/N)!” he called, jumping up when you reached the two to give you a hug. You smiled softly, the comfort of your best friends arms giving you courage. “I’d like you to meet my friend, John. He’s in Canada for a week or two, we have to catch up on making videos together.”

You smiled at the other boy, raising a hand in a somewhat half wave. He stood up, stretching his arms out.

“Come on, (Y/N), any friend of Jarens is a friend of mine,” he says, pulling you into a hug. Your face flushed a bright red, and the smell of his cologne captured your senses.

“Best friend actually. Ten years and counting. Don’t de-rank me,” you say, pulling away. The confidence that came out of your mouth shocked you, but John just laughed.

“Damn, Smitt. She’s feisty. Where have you been keeping her all these years?!”

“For the time that I’ve known you? The guest room of my house. You’re sleeping on the couch this time, bud,” Jaren said, patting Johns back. John pretended to wipe a tear away from his cheek, and you giggled.

“I couldn’t let you sleep on the couch. That shit sucks. I’ll move some of my stuff out and into Jaren’s room for the time being, no biggie,” You say, and Jaren scoffs. You knew he was about to complain, but you shot him a look that quieted him down in a second.

“I can cut the tension with a knife,” John laughs nervously. “You two like… a thing?”

“No!” you say quickly. Everyone thought you two were dating, or at least on the road to dating. You were sick of it, Jaren was more of a family to you than your actual family. And you couldn’t ever imagine dating him. No bueno.

“Ouch, (Y/N). Way to hurt my feelings,” Jaren said , and you sighed.

“So, now that I’ve walked my happy butt to you guys, what’re you planning for the day?” You asked, changing the subject. John laughed, taking a hit of his vape. You reach your hand out, asking for a hit “I promise I don’t have any type of disease. Just the itch for nicotine is killing me and I don’t have any more Juul pods left,” you explain.

John hands you his vape, impressed with the cloud you blew out afterwards.

“I was thinking grab some food, and then just take a walk. You two can get to know each other and whatnot,” Jaren explains, and you nod, handing the vape back to John. He probably didn’t feel it, but when your fingers brushed against his, it was almost like electricity shot through your arm.

“Yeah sure… let’s go,” you say awkwardly, clearing your throat and walking ahead of the boys. You already knew exactly where you were going. When Jaren invites one of his gaming friends to visit, he always wanted to go to his favorite restaurant. You absolutely hate it, and you think that half of the reason he invites his friends is because it gives him an excuse to go. You never go with him anymore, other than his birthday.

“Please tell me we’re not going back to that crappy place you took me last time. I mean, come on. The shrimp wasn’t even cooked the whole way through!” You heat from behind you, and you slow your pace a bit to hear the conversation.

“I told you not to get the shrimp. That’s (Y/N)’s favorite meal and every time she orders, she expects a different outcome. It’s always the same. Jesus, you two should just get married already, same taste in food and shit,” Jaren huffs, but then mumbles under his breath about going to your favorite restaurant. You smile, walking towards him and linking your arm with his.

“Thanks, J,” you say, and he nods.

Once the little restaurant was in view, you three made your way inside. The warmth of the kitchen seeped into the dining area, delicious smells circling throughout the building. You felt at peace.

The waitress seated you, handing you guys your menus. You sat alone, John and Jaren opposite you. Giving your drink orders to the waitress, you scanned the menu. You already knew what you were going to get, so this was just to see what new items were added since the last time you came. You looked up, seeing the boys whispering to each other and laughing, probably making obscene and rude jokes and comments. You smile a bit, glad that today turned out much better than expected.

_______________

“I’m hungry,” John whined, and you rolled your eyes.

“We just ate two hours ago?” You said, and he nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m American. We eat all the time.” He jokes, and you smile. “Ice cream?” he asks, pointing at the store front next to you. You nod, making your way into the shop.

“Jaren’s going to be so pissed, this is his all time favorite ice cream place,” you said, giving your order to the teen behind the counter.

“Yeah, well he’s probably getting some good good right now, if ya know what I mean,” John winked, nudging you. You suppressed a laugh, knowing that that assumption was probably true. After lunch, Jaren had checked his phone and told you two that his girlfriend had an emergency and he had to go help. His face was beat red.

“Make it two, please,” John said to the teen, and passed him some cash.

“I can pay for my own ice cream, John,” you argue, and he nods

“Yeah, but now we can count this as our first official date,” he says, handing the freshly made cone to you.

Your eyes widen, and you don’t even know what to reply, so instead you start licking the ice cream, trying to avoid confrontation.

“I mean… that was very forward of me. I’m sorry. I just think you’re absolutely gorgeous and I want to get to know you better,” John said, face tinged pink. You sit down at one of the two tables in the shop, looking at him.

The last time one of Jaren’s friends liked you, it ended bad. Like, Jaren beating the shit out of him bad. You bit your lip, knowing that you want to get to know John more as well. You were nervous, knowing that John and Jaren had this amazing friendship, you didn’t want to be the one to ruin it or get in the way of anything.

You sigh, looking at the table. “I want to get to know you better as well, John,” you say, placing your hand on top of his, “But do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, we live in complete different countries. And if something does happen between you and I, I don’t want Jaren in the middle of it. He can be…. very overprotective,”

“Yeah, I know. The first time he ever posted a picture of you two on Instagram, I immediately got jealous. Of him. I thought you two were in a relationship. When I asked him about it, he basically laughed in my face. Then gave me the rundown about how if I were to show you any interest, and if I were to hurt you, he’d kill me,” he chuckled “I wish I was joking but the tone he had made me realize he was serious. That was three years ago, (Y/N). I’ve been begging him for your number since. He never would give it to me, deciding that if I wanted it, I’d have to get it from you myself. That’s when I booked the first flight here,” he explained, face still pink.

“But I was visiting my parents in Washington,” You mumbled, smiling softly. He nodded.

“We were probably in the airport at the same damn time, and we had no idea. After that trip, I was broke. As soon as I had enough money for a flight, I had to come back. That sounds creepy now that I say it out loud,” he laughs, a bit nervous. You giggle, nodding.

“Creepy, indeed,” You say, but grab his hand, intertwining your fingers. “But hey, cheers to our first date,” you say, both of you soon becoming a blushing mess.

_________________

Three Years Later

“I’m so happy you’re here,” John said, wrapping his arms around you from behind. It took maybe 3 months after your first date for John to officially ask you to be his girlfriend. He had flown back to Washington, and you two had talked non stop. He bought a plane ticket for you, after weeks of consistent begging.

When you had shown up at his apartment, Kugo had opened the door, looking at you quizzically. Before he had a chance to ask, John had moved him out of the way, wrapping you in a hug and placing a passionate kiss to your mouth. You heard Jay and Kugo in the back, wolf-whistling and clapping.

The first year flew by in a blur. At least once a month, one of you were on a plane flying to see the other. It totally fucked up your sleeping schedule, and you had to quit your job because you weren’t able to continue to keep taking time off. Jaren helped you start a YouTube channel, letting you borrow his gaming setup until you could afford your own.

Year two, John had asked you to come visit him for longer. He just moved into an apartment by himself, and would get lonely most of the time. You’d stay for a month at least, two tops. It was getting harder for you to afford rent in Canada, while continuing to buy plane tickets to and from your apartment. Jaren’s girlfriend, Chloe, had eventually moved in. You loved her, and were happy for them, but every time you were home, you felt an empty hole in your heart as you heard them giggling about something or other. It wasn’t fair, your person was all the way in another country, on the other side of it nonetheless.

You had ended up venting to John about it, and two days later he showed up at your door, on one knee, asking you to marry him.

Of course you said yes, how could you not? You finally had a ring on your ring finger, and that was the only one John had kept void of any jewelry. It was like you two were puzzle pieces, fitting together. At the end of his trip, he brought up the thought of you moving in with him.

It scared you. Of course you thought about moving in with him. But for some reason, it seemed so soon. Even after the continuous months you’ve spent with each other.

But you agreed anyways, and as soon as he left you began packing. Jaren was in on John’s idea of you two living together, so it didn’t surprise him when you had asked to talk to him about it. You were nervous, afraid that your best friend would be mad you were leaving. He was ecstatic. He knew that as soon as you two had laid eyes on each other, the ship had sailed.

The moving process took a good couple months. Getting your Visa, switching your address, and mailing the items to John’s house was a lot. But once you had settled in, and made sure everything was arranged just how you liked it (especially in your office), you were content.

That first night, John and you had laid on the couch, lounging in sweats while you cuddled close. He was playing with the ring on your finger, kissing your temple every few minutes.

“I am the luckiest guy in the world, (Y/N),” John said, breaking the silence. You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. “I can’t wait to marry you, for you to be mine forever. To have little kiddos running around, God I hope they have your nose.”

You got teary, and pulled his face to yours, kissing him full of passion and love. That didn’t stop, it followed you two into your shared bedroom, where the love turned to lust.

Both sweaty, cuddled up next to each other, you kissed his shoulder softly.

“I’m all yours, John. I always was, and always will be.”

[numba99]

The Arrangement Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Summary: You’re an aspiring model in NYC who is offered an opportunity of a lifetime - an arranged relationship with a famous Ranger. Things start out rough and are further complicated by the fact you’re already in a relationship. Will you be able to figure things out or will it all end in disaster? Word count:2,787

A/n: hi sorry I have been MIA for so long take this as my peace offering. Also for the sake of this we gonna pretend like media is bigger into hockey players social lives okay tysm

After your date with Mika in Central Park, you waiting for an angry confrontation from Eric that never came. There were a few tweets floating around with the photos of you two (which was still incredibly weird for you), but he never mentioned it. He must not have seen it, and for that you were incredibly thankful. It would be hard to continue the whole Mika is an asshole story when the two of you were joyfully tossing popcorn at each other.

It was only a few days later when your next date was set up. You were told you would be having dinner at a restaurant with Mika, which made you nervous. Not that you thought it would be a bad time, but because that felt a lot more like a real date. You knew how it would look to Eric, and you weren’t sure you he would believe anything you tried to tell him. Your only hope would be that he would remain oblivious to it as he seemed to be right now.

You stood in front of your closet, looking for a “sexy but casual” outfit, as Alice had instructed you to wear. You were going to a dinner at a restaurant that was frequented by many celebrities who visited New York, though you’ve never been yourself. It wasn’t exactly in your budget. Apparently, the restaurant’s vibe was sexy casual and you just had to dress the part. Whatever that meant

You finally decided on your favorite pair of black skinny jeans that hugged you body in all the right ways, a plunging dark red body suit, a leather jacket and black pumps. Black and red was sexy right? You thought to yourself as you dressed yourself. You checked the mirror and you had to admit it, you felt pretty hot.

Just as you finished all the last touched, there was a knock at the door. You were praying it wasn’t Eric because you knew he would have a lot of questions if he saw you about to go out dressed like this. To your relief, the person behind the door was Fred, who was a lot shorter than you had thought.

“Hey Fred!” you greeted cheerfully, “You look a lot different standing up.”

Fred chuckled. “Yeah I get that a lot. I was just going to text you as usual, but Mika wanted me to give you these flowers,” he said handing over a bouquet of red dahlias, “He would have given you them himself, but apparently he’s not allowed to yet. I really don’t get this shit.”

You laughed. “Neither do I. Thanks Fred, I’ll just be a second.” Fred nodded and waited outside the door for you. You pulled out the little card which read, “Dahlias symbolize staying graceful under pressure. Seemed appropriate. - Mika.” You smiled, replaced the vase filled with the peonies (which were way past their prime) with your new bouquet.

You then headed out, following Fred to the car. He opened the door and helped you slide in, which you were really grateful for since these heels weren’t always your best friend.

“You know, it’s a little spooky how you managed to pick flowers that matched my outfit,” you teased Mika as Fred shut the door behind you.

“It’s a talent,” he shrugged, laughing lightly. The two of you made light conversation as you were driven to your destination. Mika, of course, had eaten there a few times before and promised you you were going to love it. He did, however, say that there was almost always paparazzi there, so you should brace yourself.

When you pulled up to the restaurant, you realized what he was talking about. A bunch of people were standing outside, cameras in hand. Just waiting to take pictures, pictures of you. You tensed up, not sure you were ready for what was on the other side of the car door.

Sensing your nerves, Mika shifted over closer to you. “Are you alright?” Mika asked.

“Yeah I- I just guess there were more people than I expected,” you replied, trying not to allow yourself to get too flustered.

“I know it’s kind of scary,” Mika replied, “But I’ll be with you the whole time, okay? And if it makes you feel any better, they’ll probably be disappointed it’s only us. They really want actors and singers, we are boring.” Mika laughed at himself, making you smile despite the nerves.

“I’ve never been so happy to be boring. I think I’ll be okay though,” you said.

“I know you will,” Mika assured you, placing his hand on the door, “Ready?” You nodded, and with that the door swung open. Mika stepped out first, grabbing the attention of the paparazzi.

“Mika!”

“Mika over here!”

“Who’s the girl?”

There rapid fire questions buzzed in your ear as you were bombarded with flashes form their cameras. Mika’s hand landed on your lower back, gently guiding you towards the door. You kept your head down as you walked, hoping by some miracle they wouldn’t get a good picture of your face.

Finally, you made it to the safety of the restaurant. “I think I’m going to go blind,” you said, trying to blink the flash out of your eyes.

Mika chuckled, “You’ll get used to it.” You shook your head, as you were led to your table wondering how you could ever get used to that.

“I thought you said no one would know it is you?” you asked as you weaved through tables in the dimly lit restaurant.

“Hey I’m not that boring,” Mika teased, “New York media is crazy though. Big sports town and people care about the players. Kinda weird, but it is what it is.” You nodded, guessing that was true. In your time in New York you have quickly realized people take sports very seriously here. 

When you arrived at the table, Mika pulled out the chair for you. “Never got a chance to tell you, you look great tonight.” You looked down, hiding your blush, as Mika walked around to his seat.

“So do you,” you replied, taking him in. He wore dark jeans and a white shirt, with the buttons opened, revealing a necklace dangling over his ski. It was so simple, yet he looked so good. It suddenly hit you how attractive Mika was, with his dark mess of hair and hazel eyes that were damn near hypnotic. There was something so enticing about him. You fidgeted in your seat, uncomfortable with this revelation.

Luckily, the waiter came over, distracting you from your thoughts. You ordered drinks - just water for you, seeing as you were under orders not to drink while you were together. Can’t control people when they’re drunk, you guessed.

“So this is how the other half lives,” you said, looking around the very expensive looking room.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Mika smirked.

“Not bad,” you agreed, “But, truthfully, I’d be just as fine at home in sweats ordering in.”

“That sounds pretty nice right about now,” Mika replied, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing muscular forearms.

The waiter came back around, asking for orders. You hadn’t really looked at the menu, so you just asked for the first thing your eyes landed on. Mika picked what he wanted without having to look at the menu.

“How has your week been?” you asked as the waiter walked away.

“Tiring,” Mika admitted, “Coming back from road games is always tough.”

“IS the team playing well at least?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “We are kind of in rebuild mode. Could be worse, but definitely could be a lot better.”

“That must be frustrating,” you replied.

“Yeah it kinda sucks sometimes,” Mika replied, “But it’s part of being an athlete I guess. I have some great teammates, though, that makes it a lot easier.”

“That’s good,” you replied, “Maybe I’ll have to come out to a game one of these days.”

“You’ve never been to a hockey game?” Mika asked.

You shook your head, “Was never really my thing. My boyfriend goes occasionally, but it’s more of his friends that are into it. I’ve never really bothered to go.”

“We are definitely going to have to change that,” Mika replied.

“I think you just want to show off for me,” you teased, feeling bold out of nowhere.

Mika chuckled, “What can I say, I enjoy an ego stroke.”

“I won’t be doing any stroking… wait that doesn’t sound right.” The two of you erupted in laughter at your poor choice of phrasing. “Shit okay I blew that one. What I meant was I’ll go to a game and give my honest opinion. You gotta earn your stroking in this house.”

“Fair deal” Mika replied, flashing a dazzling white smile, “So what have you been up to this week?”

“Just a few little photo shoots here and there, nothing special,” you told him.

“You don’t sound too excited about it,” Mika noted.

You shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for every opportunity I get, but little campaign ads aren’t what I really want to be doing. I want to do like high fashion things, walk runways, things that are a little more interesting.”

“I know you said you don’t want anything because of someone else, but I do have some connections at Gucci,” Mika told you, “I could get you in the door for their next casting call. I could set it up so they wouldn’t know I sent you, so if you got the gig, it would be because of you, not me.”

“Mika I-I don’t even know what to say, you don’t have to do that,” you replied in disbelief.

“I want to,” Mika insisted, “I think you deserve something nice after having to go through all this.”

“That would be so amazing, I would appreciate it more than you could know,” you told him, feeling excitement bubbling up inside you. You’ve wanted to do high fashion for so long and a brand like Gucci could open so many doors for you. The thought alone made you giddy.

“Consider it done.”

Mika began to tell you about how he’s gotten close with the creative directors of Gucci over the years, and you listened intently. You were love fashion, and found all the behind the scenes information so interesting. Plus, it helps to know this stuff in your profession. The two of you chatted all about fashion throughout the meal, which you both equally enjoyed.

“It’s so nice to finally have someone to talk about these kind of thing with,” you gushed as you finished your food.

“Eric not a fashion man?”

“If you consider three pairs of jeans and some t shirts or flannels fashion, than sure he is a fashion man,” you joked.

“Do you love him?” Mika asked. You stared at him for a moment, taken aback by the blunt question.

“Yeah, I love him, but,” you paused, trying to think of the right way to say it.

“You know, my mom always told me that anything a person says before the word but doesn’t mean anything,” Mika replied. You frowned, not liking that he was picking at a topic you would rather not think about.

“I love him,” you restated, formulating a way to explain it without saying but, “It’s just that, sometimes he doesn’t always feel like the guy I first met. We can be really different at times, but opposites attract right?”

“Right,” Mika nodded, checking the watch on his wrist, “I think it’s about time we get going.” You nodded, glad to avoid a conversation about Eric. Mika pulled out his wallet and tossed down two $100 bills, as if they were nothing.

“So we’re supposed to say we’re just friends on the way out, right?” you asked, trying to recall what Alice had told you to do.

“Right, but I should warn you,” Mika began, stopping right before the the exit, “There are going to be more people out there than before now that they know we are here.” You gulped, wondering how there could possibly be more than before.

“Great,” you sighed sarcastically.

“Don’t worry y/n, I’ll be right here,” Mika said extending his hand to you. You took it, giving him a soft smile. Mika turned towards the door and the second it opened flashes were all you could see. He was right, there were a lot more than before, including screaming fans.

Mika held your hand tightly as you walked to the car, which thankfully Fred had waiting right outside. He held his other arm out in front of him, clearing a path for the two of you to walk. You heard your name being called in the crowd and your heart dropped as you realized they figure out who you were.

“Mika, y/n! Over here!”

“How was dinner? Was this a date?”

“Are the two of you in a relationship?”

“We’re just friends,” Mika replied, in the direction of the voice. It was impossible to tell where exactly it was coming from. You looked up and nodded in agreement, grateful had his wits about him enough to say something.

“I seriously don’t know how you’re not blind,” you stated once you finally were secure in the car.

“I think I’ve built up an immunity at this point,” Mika replied, “You handled it like a champ though.”

“Thanks,” you replied shyly, “Kind of freaky they know my name now.” You frowned, knowing this would not go over well with a certain someone.

“You may want to put your social media on private,” Mika suggested.

You pulled out your phone, but got distracted by missed calls and texts from Eric. “Fuck,” you mumbled to yourself.

“What’s wrong?” Mika asked.

“Eric must have found out, and he’s not happy,” you sighed. You didn’t want to read them all, knowing they probably weren’t very nice (the first one you saw was ‘come see me when you’re done cheating on me,’ and you decided to stop there. “Fred, could you take me to my boyfriend’s house? It’s just down the block from my place,” you asked. Fred nodded and you slumped in your seat, not looking forward to this.

“Are you going to be okay?” Mika asked.

“Yeah, I mean I get it, this doesn’t exactly look great. I’ll just have to tell him something that will hopefully calm him down,” you sighed. As you finished talking, Fred pulled up to Eric’s building, sending a wave of nerves through you.

Mika squeezed your hand. “You can do it. If you need anything, feel free to call me,” he said. You thanked him before saying goodbye and slipping out of the car.

The elevator ride up to Eric’s seemed longer than usual. Each floor you passed made your heart beat a little faster. Finally you were outside his door, and although you were debating running home, you found yourself knocking on the door.

Eric answered almost instantly, and he was fuming. “Do you want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” you insisted, stepping in and closing the door behind you so his nosy neighbors couldn’t listen in.

“Really? Because it looks to me like you’re on a fucking date with another guy,” he snapped.

“It’s not, really, it’s just a part of the interview process,” you told him.

“What sort of interview involves you dressing like that and going out to eat at an expensive restaurant?” Eric questioned.

“I don’t know, I just do what my agent tells me. It’s all business, it’s just how these rich and famous people do it,” you replied, anger bubbling up in you. Okay, sure, you were kind of lying. But there wasn’t anything going on between you and Mika and that was the truth.

“Are you fucking him?”

“What? No, are you crazy?” you snapped, pissed he would think so little of you.

“At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me,” he replied.

“You know what? I don’t fucking need this right now. You clearly don’t trust me and I am not about to be yelled at by someone who doesn’t even care about me,” you spat turning towards the door.

Eric yelled something nasty after you but you could barely hear it, on account of how angry you were. You were seeing red as you made your way home. You tried to walk as quickly as you could, but the heels were not helping. By the time you made it to your apartment, anger had mixed with sadness.

When you reached your bed, you flopped down, tears spilling out of your eyes until sleep finally took you.

[smolbeandrabbles]

The Honey - Vince Kovac x Reader (Tangle)

Oh shit! My hand slipped!

Note: All my readers start out as OCs. That why reader has a little more description to her here. The fact that she is very short I made into an important story factor. The fact she has blue hair... a little less... but I stuck with her...  Hopefully you do too... Author’s Note: Sometimes songs are kicked from chapters and playlists so they can find the perfect Mendo. And here we are. At last. Also, Grace - AUS represent!!  Set in an AU (I guess!) to Tangle, where everything is the same - apart from the last 15 minutes of the 10th episode. Disclaimer: Tangle and related characters not mine / Gifs not mine  / lyrics not mine

Premise: Dating a known cheater & divorcee was never really in your plans. Mind you, neither was moving to Melbourne. Enter Vince Kovac, who is about to shake your world up...

Words: 5822

Warnings: Swearing / Major set up, probably not that interesting / Essentially its one long talk about sex without... actually talking about sex.

________ You got what you give, so keep on giving what you get Call it what you like but that does not say what it is I'm a slave for you, I check my lashes in the whip... Me and you, no stoppin' us Love is hard to handle, guess I need to get a grip Ooh, it's a game Honey, it's a pity And I'm a good girl, but even angels gotta cry sometimes Oh, baby, just let me cry You're just what I need now This ain't funny, he ain't sweet But he might be the honey I need now Please now, got me on my knees, I can't breathe You're the honey I need now I usually like it simple but the compliments just make it complicated And your confidence is far from understated They say you're no good for me But they can't tell me nothing You're only gonna go and break my heart, I take the risk Sittin', thinkin' bout ya, thinkin' bout ya, thinkin' bout ya It's a trip ---

You had moved to Melbourne a few months ago. Goodness knows why they’d moved you here for work relocation; you could think of a million reasons why it would be better not to have moved you but you didn’t ask questions like that. These days you figured it make sense to go where the work apparently was. Although you spent maybe 50% of that travelling anyway. So... the work was everywhere. Still, no, Melbourne. Which you guessed was fine. Whatever.

 You’d moved into an apartment and were renting when you arrived, but what you really wanted was a house. Which you could buy, of course - but why not use your own skills? No no, you wanted to build it yourself. Only you didn’t build houses... so you needed to find someone who could. “So, you need a construction company?” You looked to your co-worker, Manuel, a good friend for many years as it was - and perhaps one of the only reasons you agreed to move out here; “This is where you tell me you know someone.” “I know of someone...” “Right... ever used them?” “Oh, trust me they will do what you want, no problem.” “But?” “Why is there a but?” “There’s a but. I can hear it in your voice...!!” “I dunno... there’s a reputation that goes with it...” “What kind of reputation?!” “Well, for building itself you won’t find better... but there’s been a few disagreements.” “Disagreements.” You repeated, in the same tone “Yeah...” “What kind of disagreements?” “Oh, not with clients. Like I say they do an outstanding job... just, with contractors and the like...” “Contractors that will be working on my house!!” “Look they are the first ones I’d recommend... do you want the contact or not?!” “Yes. If you’d recommend them!” He brought out his wallet and offered you the card “Call ‘em.” “Kovac Construction.” You raised an eyebrow “...you promise me they are good.” “I promise you. They’ll do exactly what you want. And I know you’re particular...” “That’s one word...” you agreed with a smile, “This Kovac got a name?” You were left with a mysterious smile and a laugh “No. I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself...!”

 **

 The phone only had to ring twice before you were greeted with a rough Melbourne twang; “Vince Kovac.” You almost laughed. Almost. Vince Kovac. oh yeah, he sounded like a troublemaker. “Uh, Hi, Mr.Kovac - I’m F/N L/N; I’ve heard that you’re the man to come to if I want a house building...” “Sounds about right, Y/N, how can my company help you?” “Well, I’ve been here a couple of months, and already looked into and secured land... I just need it building to spec.” There was a slight pause as your information was considered; “...Well, you got an architect?! You know what it’s gonna look like right-?! Cuz we don’t really do that stuff... though I can probably find you a good one.” “No, that’s alright, and I was hoping to talk to you about that. But I can deal with that, I just need the construction company.” “Well then I hope we might be the one.” “As do I - you come highly recommended!”

**

So that was how you agreed to meet Vince Kovac at the QT hotel, lunch time two days later. “You know what this Vince Kovac looks like?” Manuel raised an eyebrow; “You don’t know? You got a google!” “Are you serious?! Just tell me!” “No! Find that out for yourself too...” He nodded to your folder “Hey! You already got a portfolio ready for him - damn girl!” You smacked him with it; “Tell me what he looks like! I’m meeting him like right now.” “Your detective skills got you his name, they’ll get you his face too.” “I hate you.” You’d stay and glare at him for a little while longer, but you didn’t have time. You walked away, if you didn’t leave now you’d be late... and that wouldn’t look good. He yelled after you with a broad grin; “You’re welcome!!”

 You arrived at the hotel exactly on time and walked through into the lobby. This wouldn’t be hard, you figured. He’ll be the only man here who looks like he works construction; you continued a short, slow walk around. Pretending like you weren’t looking for someone in particular. Like you might be here for a business meeting with a client, or just about anything else. Then you smirked to yourself; sitting on a bench alone, looking at his phone, was the man who could only be yours. Short neat dark hair that seemed to be going grey with the way the light caught it, blue T-shirt, black slacks and jacket – both faded from being worn often. Looks like he had a favourite set of clothes. His shades sat next to him and he was gazing at his phone.  No briefcase, suitcase or papers. Vince Kovac.

You walked over slowly; and he didn’t look up when you got to him; so you didn’t look at him when you addressed him - instead made a sweeping statement whilst gazing around the lobby again; “I’m going to make an educated guess here, that you’re Mr.Vince Kovac.” He looked up - and that gave you his eye colour, a sharp, intelligent blue - but had to look up considerably less than he was expecting. And your eyes turned back to him; “Yeah.... which makes you Ms.L/N.” “Correct.” Vince rose from his seat. Didn’t matter how tall he was, he would still tower you. He held out his hand; “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” “And you.” Though you thought that might just be you saying a formality, considering it seemed he had a reputation. He nodded to the folder “Looks like you already have your architect.” “Yeah, there’s only one I trust.” “That so.” “Yeah.” You gave him a smile that seemed more like a warning, “I get what I want, Mr.Kovac.” “Oh.” He raised an eyebrow; “That I don’t doubt.” He looked around the hotel “Got a room?” “Matter of fact I do…” You folded your arms “Wow. I thought we were just here to discuss a business proposal… Having said that, I have no qualms with mixing business and pleasure.” His eyes flicked up and down your stature and you narrowed your eyes at him; if you knew him a little better, you’d have hit him with your folder too. “Unfortunately for you, we will be sharing the room with a bunch of people – so I guess you can say I really ordered a table.” You indicated for him to walk with you, and he blew out a breath like he was slightly disappointed as you led him to the restaurant. Vince Kovac dropped a little behind you to watch you walk, to count the number of piercings in your ears, the way your hair colour ran into a powder blue. But you couldn’t have been much over 5ft in heels. Tiny. But even watching you he bit his lip; no less a woman, though. “You’re not exactly what I expected.” “What makes you say that, that I’m vertically challenged?” “Ha!” He smiled “Maybe that’s it... maybe not.” “Maybe I should take my heels off; would that make you feel better?” “No, I’m just looking at you thinking you would be able to lie down in my truck bed no problems. And it’s a short truck bed.” You paused and looked to him; he’d said that on purpose. You knew. “…I’m not sure what your truck exactly has to do with this Mr.Kovac…” “Well. I’ll be driving it to your building site every day, so maybe we can just test my theory.” You flashed him a small smirk “Ha. You’ll be lucky.” For a second he tilted his body back and even though he was smiling he squinted. Oh, you guessed he might be used to being the kind of man woman found hard to resist. What were you meant to respond with? - ‘Oh yeah, guess you can throw me in the back of your truck now, where did you park…?’ You shook your head with an eyeroll and he had to go back to following you to the restaurant.   You weren’t dumb either, you knew exactly why he chose to follow you instead of walk with you – so you were glad enough when you could sit down and get a table between you. And he was still giving you that look, like if he tried hard enough he could get whatever he wanted out of you by the end of this conversation. Nuh uh. You placed your rolled up architectural sketch and portfolio on the table. “So. I don’t see much point in dancing around this – let’s get to the point. I’m going to show you what I want, and you’re gonna tell me if you can do it or not, okay?” He placed his elbows on the table and leant on his hands “Okay.” You rolled it out using the folder to hold it down flat. “It’s only two floors, but it’s a big build. Pretty much all open plan downstairs… Upstairs is a little more sectioned rooms.” “You do realise the support needed for that to work, right.” “I factored for that.” You tapped the drawing. “…Yes…” He quirked an eyebrow and leant in closer to the drawing. Realising this wasn’t something from a CAD system. This was hand drawn. “…Did… you draw this…?!” “Correct.” “You…” His eyes flicked back to you “You’re the architect.” “Yes.” “…Well shit…” He sat back, arms folded “Then you know what you want I can’t do. We won’t have the same vision.” “I understand that building it is you grounding me in reality, when what I see in my head will never be what I get. I’m asking you if you can be that man, Vince.” He pulled the folder towards him and flicked it open; he’d seen things like this before. Essentially the plan in front of him blown up in much more detail. At the top of every page was neatly written script detailing everything you’d been thinking. “Geez…” He kept going. “…Do you know how much this is going to cost ya?!” “If money was a problem I wouldn’t be asking…” He closed the folder and slid it back to you “It’s ambitious.” “Too ambitious?” “I didn’t say that. I think it’s a big project. And we both need to be on the same page with how big it really is.” Is he still talking about architecture here-!? He better be! “I know what I’m asking you to undertake. I also know that at every step of the way I’m going to have to alter my plan… I’m prepared to accept that. But I want someone who sees what I’m trying to do and wants to do that with me…” There was a pause for a minute as both of you stared at each other, there was enough measuring going on here. However, he eventually gave; “…I do… And working on something like that would be… An experience in itself for me and my guys… But it’s months and months of very hard work.” Still Vince stuck his hand out “If you’re prepared to front the money for this – I would be honoured to take the project on.” You gave him a small smile, but took his hand anyway; “Oh. You have no idea how honoured you should be Mr.Kovac.” He gave a laugh “…Well. At the end of the day, I get to see you solidly for a few months. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up taking me up on the truck offer.” You shook your head “In your wildest f**king dreams.” You noticed the playfulness in the next smirk he gave; “That’s kinda what I was thinking, yeah.”

*** You emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks as you and he finished up other projects, and you got used to each other. His banter was always suggestive, and you played right along with that. It was funny to read between the lines of what he was sending you every day. You slowly warmed to him – and were at least looking forward to working with him – having scoured his company website you’d done a quick check in of his own physical builds. Nothing quite so ambitious as what you were thinking. But, lets an architect loose on her own house and she was bound to go a bit crazy. It was his job as your builder to pull you back to Earth; Y/N that’s ridiculous… Y/N you realise if we use that the whole ceiling caves right?!... Come on, you can’t fight gravity, that entire structure will shatter if you do that. And Vince at least looked, and sounded, the type who was going to take every opportunity he could to overpower you and try to curb your feisty attitude. You thought that his front was amicable, he didn’t know what he was dealing with yet… Still, he agreed to meet you at the location you’d given him for your house. And when he rolled into what was to be the driveway, he realised his was the only car. You were sitting at the top of the slope on which the house would sit. Vince slammed his car door shut and looked around. You appeared to have brought a plot of land at the end of a developed and developing street. Fascinating… He wandered over; “Where’s your car?” “Car? I ran here, I’ll run back.” “Ran? Well... I run. Every morning before work.” “Oh really.” He seemed quite proud of himself with the way he folded his arms; “Yeah, quite serious about it.” “Really? How fast are you?” “Fast enough.” “Keep pace?” “Pretty well.” “Ever run a marathon?” His face fell “Oh. You’re a serious runner.” “Damn right Mr.Kovac, if you wanna partner up with me, you best know what you’re in for.” “So your stamina’s good?” “Why don’t you find out.” He looked away from you for a minute with a laugh, because he damn well knew that after building this house that was his goal. He’d get you it was just a matter of time. You raised an eyebrow, turning in the direction of his parked vehicle and looking at his truck bed “You sure I’m gonna fit in that? I mean I know I’m small, but, even that’s a stretch.” “Yeah, it’ll be fine we’ll work on it. I’ll make you fit.” “You got a bar in there?” “A bar?” “Yeah to keep everything in place. Hold stuff still.” “So you have been thinking about my offer then?” You didn’t miss a beat to shoot him down; “Not in the slightest.”

 At this point you were 99% sure you were both talking about sex but pretending you weren’t. And you realised quickly that nearly every conversation you’d ever had had followed this same pattern. If you weren’t careful this was going to get real complicated real quick. But that prompted enough questions of it’s own; Do I really want to be careful, if he’s so sure of himself…?

*** It was strange, being on a building site with a bunch of guys. Usually they would just build away and you’d either get called in when it was time to get a bit more aesthetic, or if they couldn’t read something on your plan and problems were about to occur. That of course meant you’d be back in the office drawing. But this was your house. So you wanted to watch it grow, to spec, every step of the way. You just did your actual work a little later in the evening, and you were on call in case anyone urgently needed you for something. But none of your current clients had particularly strenuous deadlines so you were fine doing this as you wanted. It meant you got to come face to face with Vince Kovac and his risqué banter every day. Which amused you, because you decided that you could completely shut him down... or you could just serve that banter right back. And the more you did that, the more it turned into something a little more like flirting. Today as you stepped into your car, you were wearing heeled boots figure hugging jeans a white shirt and leather jacket. And that didn’t really bother you too much until you decided to check your make up in the mirror. And then you realised that none of the decisions were subconscious. “Shit!!!” You pressed a hand to your mouth and sat back in your car seat “...Y/N! NO!!!” You slumped against the steering wheel with a cry; “Oh you’ve done it now.” How he’d got you, you didn’t know. Sure he was attractive, but Vince was such a lad for a grown up man. Builder covered it nicely. But there was something about that banter - and something curious enough in you to find out whether that was all it was. If he was a paper-thin framework. Call his bluff and he’d back down? Or call his bluff and you’d find yourself pinned in the back of that truck? Interested enough to realise that you’d worn this outfit and you’d worn make up to a building site simply on principle that you would be seeing Vince today...

Idiot...! You had a crush, and probably a stupid crush to have considering how closely you worked together - but a crush none the less. Could you afford to put that crush to the test? To see how far you could really push him. Part of you certainly wanted that. You’d met men a little like him, that same overconfident cocky outward attitude, but never a man so implicitly forward. You wondered if that was his usual style, or if he was simply trying to keep that professional surface with you. Maybe neither, maybe he was just interested in flirting with as many women as he could, maybe that gave him a little bit of power. But then, you wanted to find out if that were true, too. So you drove yourself in, and sure enough the red Kovac Construction truck was sitting on your drive before you got there. It was a competition now, who was going to get there first. You shook your head with a smile and parked behind him, hopping out of your car.

Vince heard you coming of course and was wandering out of the shell of the house they were building before you were even on the ground; “Heels?! To a construction site?!” He called over “You didn’t have to dress up just for me, Darlin’!!” “I didn’t!” you did. You wandered across the grass, shouldering your bag. “Still not running here then, Kovac?” There was a grin on his face every time you addressed him by his last name that you kinda liked seeing, so you did it often when you attempted to tease him. “Aw, no, you don’t want me to arrive like that. I need to look my best on site, dontcha know?” “Oh, is that what you call it?” He placed his hands on his hips “Yeah... gotta build up nice and slow to where you get to see me all hot and sweaty, that’s for sure. Don’t worry...” he pointed at you with the paper in his hand “I’m sure we’ll get there.” “Oh. Can’t wait.” His voice dropped lower; “No I bet...” that smirk was back, and he let it linger between you for a while before jerking his head over his shoulder. “Come on. Let me show you what on your little plan we’ll get done today...” “Efficient, If I do say so myself...” You gave an approving nod “Well, I do try to have all bases covered... a little efficiency never hurt anyone... I tend to find my way around things...” You watched his face carefully - still not talking about a building site are we - and folded your arms with your voice edging disbelief; “uh huh.”

As expected from when you had started drawing your ‘dream house’; Vince needed you on site nearly constantly to re-draw or re-plan aspects. And also shake his head at you, point to something and declare it wasn’t architectural short hand. 99% of the time it was, and you took offence; but sometimes you had -isms you’d come up with yourself. Anyone who was used to working with you knew what they meant; you had to realise the men of Kovac Construction would not. And this was a mild-dream house; one where you’d actually thought of the constraints of modern living! He was lucky. But had constraints of his own - namely actual building techniques.

But he had reasons of his own to like telling you to redraw something. And revelled in ever minutia of detail where he got to suck in a breath and tell you he couldn’t do it. That more than once earned him quick witted retaliation about just skipping it, but more often than not had you bent over a table to redesign something. And that always happened to coincide with Vince’s tea and coffee breaks so that he could stand in the doorway and watch you. Which of course had nothing to do with you working. More so he could stare at your ass and fantasise about what it would be like to bend you over that table and do what he really wanted to do. But you always looked good. And he noticed that you always wore clothing just tight enough or... just short enough to give him a little buzz.  Seen as that had changed slowly the more banter you had exchanged there was little doubt in his mind that you were dressing like this for him. And he’d given you enough hints about the kind of man he was.

And you knew he wasn’t watching you draw. If he wanted to watch you draw, he’d be closer. This wasn’t a “how do architects do their thing!?” type staring that curious people usually got as you sat there with mathematical measuring tools - oh no - this was keep 20 paces away and hope she doesn’t notice what you’re doing, staring. So this time you placed your pencil down and turned around to him. “You’re gonna get a better view from over here...” He took a sip from his mug and quirked an eyebrow “My view is perfect; thanks.” “... Kovac! Get the hell out of here!” “I could get off the site, and you wouldn’t get any work done.” “Well it’s clear you’re not here for my drawing, so as far as I’m concerned you don’t need to be here.” “Don’t you wanna know?” “Know what?!” He smirked into his drink “Why I am here.” “I got a pretty good idea.” “Oh, I can stare at you for all it’s worth - but really I like seeing you have to bend over that little table to correct something I told you to.” That was more than just admittance of fantasising; he’d added those last four words on purpose... Like what he would like was you to be in this position for him because he’d told you too. That only made you stand up and fold your arms. But because of the shirt you were wearing he still wasn’t complaining about this view. “You wanna try that one again.” He took a significant gulp of coffee; “Well, I could also clear the table and bend you over it from this angle if you’d prefer… And I’d quite like too.” Your tongue pressed into your bottom lip, and you looked to the floor for a minute, your face read that you were less than impressed, but your eyebrows raised; “I’d hope so… things like that can get messy ,and I really wouldn’t like to ruin my drawings…” Suddenly his mug found the floor and he took the first five paces – until your held your hand up, and then pointed back to the door frame he’d just walked through: “Get back to work.” “I’m on break!” “How is that going to get anything done - I’m working on the changes - go make yourself useful on your construction site! I have to review you after, you know that too.” “Trust me,” Vince winked to let you know he once again wasn’t talking about building; “you’ll only be giving me the best reviews...” *** The tit-for-tat continued like this and a few days later when nearly all his construction workers were in to finish the ceiling off - and he was half way up scaffolding no less - you decided it was the optimum time to get him back. Sauntering into the room you didn’t think you could have a bigger smirk on your face. You had a harder time keeping it straight when you even thought about what you were going to say, let alone getting it out of your mouth. A few of the workers had already spotted the look and nudged each other; knowing something big was coming.

 You’d noticed how cut he was before; that wasn’t hard he used the majority of his muscle groups building or climbing things around here - but you’d also seen him run here on more than one occasion (after you’d mentioned how much he didn’t, no less). You didn’t know exactly where he lived, but you thought he was proving to you he could do it too. And his shirt stuck to him where it was soaked in sweat was easier on the eyes than he usually was. Usually he was covered in dust and building debris – but at least he looked like a man who worked for a living… Was that supposed to turn you on as much as it did? You know he knew how much you watched him when you were supposed to be doing your own work… He didn’t look like any of the men you worked with, sleeves rolled up pouring over every detail in every sketch, and certainly like none of the pretty city boys you were used to mixing with. But his back muscles through his shirt from this angle were something else... and if Vince stared at your ass for as long as you thought he did, you had plenty of reason to stare at his too.

And there was no way you were about to be subtle about this.

You whistled; in a manner you thought these boys might be used to (considering the building site/pretty girl stereotype) and folded your arms - still with that brilliant smirk. “Shit! I don’t even think as an architect I could draw something as fine as your ass-!” You nearly regretted it as he slipped; caught by the harness - his crew weren’t howling with laughter at that, though. But all your ballsy blurt out. Vince turned at you, blue eyes wide and mouth agape. Which almost surprised you, with the way he’d been going at it you thought he’d appreciate a little comment by you. Gratuitous or not. “I didn’t think something so dirty could come out of a mouth like that!” You gave him quite possibly your sweetest smile; “Why don’t you see what else you can make come out of it… Kovac?” That only had everyone laughing harder, and they completely missed his expressional change – which had your heart skipping beats. Dare ya to make me. *** Eventually you got frustrated -  and you couldn’t take any more of this teasing without any action; and it was no longer about overtly sexual flirting. Now him staring at you whilst you fixed another ‘mistake’ was pissing you off. You slammed your pencil down on the table and whirled around to him – he didn’t even need to be here anymore, the rest of his crew had already clocked out. “Vince! Geez! For Godssake I can’t take this!! I will you stop saying this shit and actually DO something about it?!” He stopped chuckling to himself, and there were five seconds where his eyes looked between yours to try and gauge how serious you were. And you were, and the look in your eyes was fierce. So he took the step forward, yanking you to him as soon as he could get a grip on any part of your body. Vince was at the top end of five foot and he towered over you when he was this close, when his hands were in your hair and you could taste him on your tongue. You had to put your hand out to steady yourself as he backed you into the table. You were lost in the way he was kissing you. You didn’t think you’d ever been kissed like this, you didn’t think a man had ever wanted you so bad he’d needed to kiss you like this. Vince kept your body in and tight to his; his hands on either side of your face, not quite running into your hair – as he bent you back over the table; it wasn’t long until you were forced to sit on it; considering your feet left the floor, and then you decided you would tangle your fingers in his hair instead. You’d both barely taken a breath and still he continued to fiercely make out with you. But his sudden sharp breath nearly made you jump and he pulled himself way from you. “Shit!” he backed up and turned away; “F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! NO… No, no, no, no, no!” You straightened up and raised an eyebrow at him; what had just happened? He turned back to you for a minute “I’m so sorry!” “…Sorry!?” You let him know you thought he was crazy; wasn’t this literally what you both wanted to do-!? You didn’t think the both of you flirting the way you had been was ever supposed to lead anywhere else. “Yeah I… We can’t do this.” “We can’t!?” “No… I can’t have this happen to you… F**K! If they find out, they’ll tell you everything… F**k!” “…Who?” “I dunno…” Vince gave a shrug with his whole body “…Anyone who knows!” “Knows what? Vince… You can’t just tell me half a story!” Also you wondered why he thought you cared. “Cuz you don’t look like the kind of girl who is just going to let me f**k you and leave.” “…Well…We will still have to work together…” But he didn’t mean that, Vince Kovac was looking at you like a serious relationship. “…Well if I was gonna do that, I would have done it by now.” “Figured you might wait until we finished the house…” He ran his hands over his face and through his hair; “You don’t deserve it… Frankly… So… I… Need to tell ya. Before they do.” You leant forward, quite frankly this man was nearly a complete mystery, and you felt nothing he was about to tell you would come as a surprise. But you didn’t say anything. “Well… Let’s start with the fact I’m divorced.” He lost you immediately, and you looked behind you to the table; “…Well… I wasn’t exactly looking for a marriage proposal…” all you really wanted him to do was bend you back over this table – well, maybe you’d prefer to move all the papers on it… But still, that’s what you thought you were both doing… Where did marriage factor here? “Yeah, but it’s the reason we divorced that they’re gonna tell you about.” That meant he did something, that’s the only thing he was saying. “…Right…” “F**k. Y/N… I…” Clearly, he wanted a serious emotional reaction from you by the way he stepped forward; and his voice rose to a level of anger. You didn’t have anything to be mad at yet… “…I cheated on her.” Your mouth opened, but you didn’t say anything. There was a nice level of awkward silence as you started to figure Vince Kovac out. What he said was bad enough. What he was saying was almost worse. He had no reason to tell you that. Absolutely zero. He could have you right here and right now on the table you sat on, and have it mean virtually nothing and have no consequences. Maybe you’d do it again, a few more times. And you’d be a casual love affair with barely one string attached. No. Vince Kovac was telling you he was a divorcee and a cheater (the cheater was the big one.) because he saw something here. He wasn’t looking to casually f*ck you when he wanted to. He was looking for a relationsh- You couldn’t even say it to yourself. Vince Kovac admitted he was a cheater, because he was telling you he could do it again. And the only reason he wanted to tell you that, was because he wanted to stop this before it started. He wanted you to turn away from him in disgust before he could take so much as your jacket off… It was a startling amount to process all at once. And you had two choices, you cared. Or you didn’t. And either way what kind of woman would that make you. “What do you want me to say?” He took a hesitant step back, and there was anything but confidence in those blue eyes “I…” “You either want me to say I don’t care – and I do. Or you want me to tell you I want you to leave… And I don’t.” You slipped off the table “…What you’re telling me this for can only be one reason…” You folded your arms “You want to be more than just the guy who is building my house. And you want me to be more than just the girl you casually sleep with whenever you see her.” He held silent. “So how about I field you the ‘are you single’ question to make sure I’m not the home wreaker here.” “…Yes…” “And are you looking for something serious? Or just a girl to fu-” “Yes.” You were a few paces from him now, and suddenly you seemed a lot taller, and you were fixing him with a hard stare that he felt was cutting him to his soul; probably what he deserved. “Then what the f**k are you playing at?” “…I’m telling you the kind of man I am.” Finally, a sentence that was said strong. “Ah.” You shook your head “No. You’re not. You’re telling me the kind of man you were - would he have told me that?” Your next step forward made Vince concede one; “Tell me you learned something.” “I still think I am.” You shook your head, “No. You’re doing this wrong. Don’t tell me who you think you are. Vince Kovac, show me who you really are.”

---

@dennismitchell @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad. @3134045126​ @kylo-ren-has-an-8pack​ Figured I might have got a Vince Kovac crew...?

[eerythingisshaka]

Moronic Jealousy

(M’Baku x Reader)

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings:  Fluff and Smut, 

A/N:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATHENA!!! 🎉🎉🎂🎂🎁🎈💕💋 

I fully intended on posting this on the actual day, had the plot and everything but this week was, whew chile!  So after some selfcare, I finally got a story for you @muse-of-mbaku!  Happy Birthday and I hope New Orleans treats you well.  Continue to be great, break necks, and make moves!  This is inspired by a part of A Different World episode between Jaleesa and Walter.  Soon as I saw it on Prime Video, I been wanting to use it as fanfic fodder. It’s silly, so I hope you like it!

“So then I was like ‘Put the pussy on the chainwax!’”  Michelle cackles out loud as you and Adriene look at each other, telepathically wondering if your friend has gone insane.

“Honey, why would you say that in traffic court?  I enjoy the enthusiasm, but it’s misguided.”  Adriene states, leaning into her glass of moscato.

“You just don’t get it.  (Y/N), you get what I was trying to say, right?”  Michelle looks to you.

After several seconds of gulping air to find the words you respond.  “To me you just added a charge of animal cruelty on top of not having a working headlight, so I’d put you up for 3 years if it was my word, but Adriene is the jury here.”

Girls night is your favorite night of the week.  It’s a tradition that has been hard to keep up with given the busy weekdays you all shared, but in a way that made the final connect all the more sweeter.  And what comes with that is your favorite pastime: Drunk Courtroom.

“Man, you ALWAYS take Adri’s side in this.”  Michelle pouts, blowing a 3B curl out of her face.

“That’s what the judge does!  My jury tells me what to do- I think I need to cut you off of the Barefoot, cuz…”  You slide the bottle closer to you on the coffee table.

“No, that ain’t my problem!  You really bossy since your engagement to Timbuktu.”  Michelle cheeses into her glass.

Your jaw drops, scoffing.  “Oh my God, how many times I gotta tell you to stop calling him that!  Especially now that he is my future husband, chill with alldat.”

Michelle giggles, pushing you a little.  “Can I play a little??  You landed a gold mine, or should I say vibranium mine with him as your catch.  See what happens when you put the pussy on the chainwax?”

“Once again.  I. Don’t. Understand. That. Phrase.”  You clap between each word in frustration.  “Besides. He doesn’t work with the vibranium, he handles Jabari wood, which is just as sacred and important.”

“It sure the hell is.”  Adriene says out the side of her mouth.  “I bet his wood is handled very properly, hence the ring….”

“Stop.”

Michelle chimes in with a seductive tone.  “Does he wax his own wood, or do you do it for him?”

“Guys.”

“Is that what he names it?  Jabari?  ‘Jabari needs some attention…’ or whatever?”  Adriene inquires with an M’Baku impression that sounded more like Vincent Price.

“Fuck off y’all, damn!”  You get up in embarrassment to get some ice cream from the fridge as Adriene and Michelle balk in laughter.  Don’t nobody know how to cut you down from your high horse like your friends.

“Ok, ok.  My bad, we just playing with you!”  Michelle calls out.

Adriene cosigns.  “Can you blame us?  Mr. Perfect out here wining and dining you, leading a whole damn tribe and slaps a rock like that on your finger?  Don’t pay attention to us.”

Sitting back on the couch you lick your spoon instead of your wounds; the vanilla, brownie, caramel combo soothing you as you hold out your left hand.  

Two weeks ago, M’Baku took you on a gondola ride that set the mood for romance just right.  You weren’t expecting anything to come from it but some snuggles with your love but when the boat looped back to dock, rose petals covered the path a nearby fountain, fanciful luminarias shaped in a heart on the ground marked the spot where he led you.  One of his cousins was there to shoot the moment as M’Baku got down on one knee and spoke his sweet words to you.  You couldn’t pay attention to their context because you were sobbing so much but knowing him they were profound and loving.  When you said yes he couldn’t stop hooting in the dead of night, hugging you tightly, kisses unabating.  He hasn’t stopped holding your hand since because ‘the ring is so heavy.’  

“Yeah, well I still can’t stand y’all heffas.”  You grumble, rocking into them side to side.

“I wanna play a new game.  Adri, pick something, child.”  Michelle directs, pouring her glass to the brim again.

“I’m three years older than you, but go off I guess.”  Adriene mutters under her breath, pulling her braids back in thought.  “How about...Telephone!”

You scoff at her suggestion.  “You need at least 10 people for that game to be effective.  Pick something else.”

“What’re you talking about?  All you need is some phone numbers and gumption to cold call people.”  Adriene says with lip smack, pulling out her phone.

Michelle groans.  “Girl, you talkin bout crank calling people, not telephone.  Telephone is the whisper challenge for people with a lot of friends basically.”  

“Ohhh, you right!  Ok, so crank calls.  Let’s make em!”  Adriene picks up a handful of hot cheetos, munching excitedly.  “And Michelle should go first since she so smart or whatever!”

Michelle screws her face up.  “No!  If I apparently lost Courtroom, I’m sitting out first round.  (Y/N), start things off.”

“I don’t feel like it.”  You whine, not entirely joking.  The moscato and late hour of the night made for a deadly combo.

“Pleeeease.  One round!  Ooh, to make it interesting, how about calling Tim?”  Michelle asks sneakily.

“His name is M’Baku!”  You exclaim.

“That’s neither here nor there.  I wanna see this!  Wake his ass up!”  Adriene says, bouncing in her seat.

You lay the ice cream down, picking up your phone regretfully.  “What do I even say?”

That’s all Michelle had to here.  “Ok, so check it.  You call him and change your voice a little to make it seem like you’re someone else and just catch his reaction.”

“Pretend he got child support payments due!”  Adriene offers.

“You always gotta be extra, Adriene!  But he’ll know it’s me.  This ain’t the 90s no more and he has my number after all.”  

Michelle brushes your doubt away.  “Just *67 him!  It still works today, trust me…”  her voice trails off as she sips from her glass shaking her head in an apparent flashback.

“O....k.  I’ll try it, but soon as he knows its me, I’m cutting it.  I don’t wanna stress my baby.”  You say, lowkey getting excited by the approaching tease.  Adriene cuts the music they were playing as you dial in silence.  

The phone rings on speaker phones ominously as you wait for M’Baku to pick up, fully expecting him to say your name and catching you instantly.

“Hello?”  He says sleepily.

You pause, words leaving your brain as Adriene and Michelle mime things to say.

“Uh, bueno, I’m so sorry for the late call.”  You say, lowkey butchering a Spanish accent as you hang your head in shame, certain you are caught already.

You hear rustling on M’Baku’s end as he moves.  “Well, may I ask who is this?”

You hated this already but push your way through the conversation.  “This is...Daniella?  Um, lo siento.  Pero, a friend of mine gave me your number to call so I could introduce myself.”

“What friend?”   He asks curtly.

You look to your girls for help on this one as they mouth names.

“Uhhh, Terrance?  Michelle’s brother.”  You say hesitantly.  They had only met a couple times at group events, so they were hardly friends but it is the best you have to make a connection.

“Ohhh, Terrance, yes, we are wonderful friends.  Known him for years.”  M’Baku says perking up.  You make a face at the phone as he lies so effortlessly.  “So can I help you with something, Ms.  Daniella?”

“Well, you may not know me but I have seen you at the gym a few times,  y I was muy impressed by su cuerpo y musculos….sorry!  I meant your body and muscles, I’m always slipping that way.”  You say playfully to keep up your Spanish identity.

“No, it is alright.  I speak Spanish fluently so si quieres, podemos hacerlo-”

“No!  No, but thank you!”  You clutch your chest as your heart pounds nervously.  No way in hell your high school Spanish could keep up with his.  “But, maybe we could meet in person and study our native tongues together.”  You throw that in for good measure.  Michelle almost howls out at your brazenness.  

M’Baku chortles out loud, and you know you are caught.  Shaking your head as he laughs at you, you almost start to reveal the prank and ask him to knock it off.

“I have never been so enchanted by a woman I have yet to meet.  You have piqued my interest, Daniella, I cannot lie.”

“Really?  Oh, you are making me nervous now.  I thought for sure you would have someone already keeping your attention.  You are just so handsome.”  You waited on edge for his response.  This is when you will surprise him that the woman he is about to talk about in his life is the one pranking him.

“Nooo, I try to keep my personal life as stress free as possible.  And I am very relaxed right now, so I would love to meet you sometime.”  

You can hear the smile in his voice as his baritone shines through, and you are disgusted.  That voice that made you quiver is intentionally being used for another woman, imaginary or not.  You couldn’t look at your friends for fear of breaking down.

“Wonderful!  How about tomorrow night, 8pm?  Since you are free…”  You try your best to keep up the art of seduction but it is waning fast.

“Perfect.  We can meet at this nice restaurant by the Lake Kenoba.  It’s beautiful at that time of evening.”

“Perfect!  See you then.”  

Hanging up the phone, you look to Michelle and Adriene who are staring back at you, mouths agape.  

“That didn’t go as planned.”  You say, tossing your phone aside on the couch cushions.  

“Why the hell did you pretend to be a date for him?  I can’t believe he’s playing us...I mean you!!” Adriene exclaims.

Michelle pats your back.  “Now now, don’t get so up in arms.  I bet you five he is pranking you back.  No way in hell he actually fell for that.  Your Russian accent was so far left field, I couldn’t-”

“It was Spanish!”  You say defensively.  Michelle just makes a face, looking to Adriene for help.

“Ok, well, honestly I agree with Michelle on this.  He is a smart man, and loves you to death up until now.  No way this is a sign of anything else.  Right?”

You sit back on the couch looking to the ceiling to search your thoughts for anything that may have lead to a sign of this coming.  “Guys, I don’t meant to kick y’all out but I need to be alone.”

They both try to convince you to not think too much into the whole conversation, but that was impossible.  Soon as they left, you were pacing the floor, channeling Angela Bassett circa Waiting to Exhale.  If the band on your ring wasn’t vibranium, you would burn it with his clothes.  Instead, you come to a moment of clarity.  Maybe they are right and he isn’t a low down, dirty dick ass cheater.  Maybe.

You pick your phone up and text him a ‘Hey babe!’ with a kissy face.  His response is quick, giving you an equally affectionate hello text.  

You text him asking for some time to see him tomorrow night at 8pm.  Same time as Maria, or Lisbeth, or whatever name you gave yourself.  You see the bubbles pop up and disappear several times on screen, driving you insane.  Now he takes his time to reply?!

He says he cannot make it, meeting with family that day.  You offer to come with, but he says it is private.  Too private for your future WIFE to be apart of??

You end the conversation, not bothering to respond.  Your phone dings again but you don’t bother checking it out.  As you make your way to bed, you look up on Amazon for gasoline cans and bleach with one day shipping guarantees.

The next day, you are in a hazy cloud of dread.  Your concentration at work is gone, you barely could eat lunch, and Michelle and Adriene keep blowing up your phone asking for updates, which there were none.  Your fears had already been confirmed so what more was there to talk about?  

That’s when your brain hatches up a plan.  You were gonna catch him in the act, no doubt about it.  When you got off work, you went to your place to gather an overnight bag and head over to his.  He won’t even feel like going out when you were through ‘being his peace’.

Pulling up, you knock on his door at 6:30pm.  M’Baku opens the door, shirtless in his joggers.  

“(Y/N), what are you-”

“I figured after you are through with your family, we could hang out!”  You say hurriedly, walking briskly past him as he stares at you in confusion while you toss your bag aside.

M’Baku walks over to you, arms crossed.  His pics substantiated by his stance and bold tattoos across them.  “Did you text me before getting here?”

You swiftly turn to him, taking off your jacket and shoes.  “No, not at all.  Should I have?  Am I interrupting something?”

M’Baku furrows his brow looking from your bag to you.  “Like I said, I made plans with family at 8, so I am in the process of getting ready.”

You blink a couple times, holding your chest.  “Oh, oh!  Don’t let me stop you, Timbuktu!  You do all you need and keep it moving, I’ll be upstairs chilling.”  You pick up your bag and head up.

“Tim- Have you seen Michelle today?  Why are you calling me that?  And what is in the bag love?”  M’Baku calls after you.

You don’t answer as you head to his bedroom and get undressed, grabbing a shirt of his out of the dresser to put on as a night gown.

“You got a lotta questions for me, but I ain’t asked you a damn thing.  SO don’t worry about me, just go on your little date...with your family.  I’ll do your laundry while you’re gone, how’s that?”  You give him a tight smile as you crawl up in bed, turning on the TV on almost full blast.  

M’Baku’s belly jiggles as he chuckles to himself with his hands on his hips before going to check your bag.

“Get outta my stuff!”  You exclaim, getting up to pull his hand away from inside.  

This is an obvious trap as M’Baku swiftly wraps you up in his arms, staring you down with a cold, calculative expression.  “Where’s the gas can you ordered?  Bleach?”

You shrank in his grasp as you wiggled to make him put you down.  Damn that shared Amazon account.

You stand up to him defiantly.  “Where’s Daniella, hm?  She meeting you at that restaurant, right?”  

M’Baku’s expressions cracked into a smirk.  You wanted to rip those full lips off of his face.  “It’s about time you brought it up.”

You exhale sharply.  “Why?  Because I should’ve always known?  I should’ve suspected it a long time ago that you been two timing me?”  You are shrill as you crawl into his bed in the fetal position.  

M’Baku groans as he sit on the edge of the bed in front of you.  “Come on, my adored one.  Is that what you think of me?”

You shake your head, long faced.  “Of course not, until she called you.”

“But it was you!  You called me!”

“You didn’t know that!”

M’Baku laughs out loud, slapping his knee.  You push on his broad back with your feet to try and get him off the bed to no avail.  “Aye, you think I believed that wasn’t you but a random woman who attends my gym, that I haven’t even noticed has any female participants at the early hour I go.  And is also friends with a sibling of your friend who I have only seen less than a handful of times?”

“Then why did you lie and say you knew him for years?”

“I was trying to break you out of character!   But you fell into it, so I kept going along to pull the wool over your eyes instead.  Plus, your Japanese accent was borderline offensive.”  M’Baku says softly, bringing his hand to your cheek, brushing it with his thumb.

“IT WAS SPANISH!  Why would I SPEAK Spanish while sounding Japanese.”

M’Baku’s body shakes a little as his face strains to hold back his childish laughter.

“You are diabolical.”  You mutter, attempting to nip at his fingertips.

M’Baku gave you a gap toothed smile big enough to make the earth quake.  “Don’t blame me, your friends have gotten you into trouble with me plenty of times before but we make up, always.”

You huff as you turn to the TV to remain bothered.  “I’m not ready to make up.”

M’Baku lays his head back on your belly, talking to the ceiling.  “What if I told you I made reservations at the aforementioned restaurant and I had planned to  come by and pick you up to expose your plan. Hm?”

Your heart falls at this revelation.  You would’ve loved to have seen that happen, and that restaurant had bread and butter you would kill to consume right now, and pack extras in your purse.  But jumping to conclusions ruined that as it is your Olympic sport, gold medal winner.  

“M’Baku, I’ll give it to you that I shouldn’t have thought that you would two time me, especially without talking to you first.  But I still don’t like that you tricked me.  You drug it out on me too long.”

M’Baku rolls over, his head traveling up your arm to your neck, kissing behind your ear and humming.  The vibrations of his voice tickled you along with his breath but you ignore the dopamine flowing through you, lying perfectly still and unphased.

M’Baku picks his head up, tutting at you as he gets off the bed to head for the restroom.  Next sound you hear is the shower coming on.   You hope he doesn’t think you’re joking about not wanting to go out now because you were firmly in that frame of mind.

His 1000 count sheets caressed your skin nicely as you snuggled under his down comforter.  That coupled with the pitter patter of the shower left you fighting your eyelids to watch the TV screen and losing.

You were awakened by the shift of weight on the bed, M’Baku wrapping his arm around your midsection to pull up behind you, breathing in the coconut and shea scent of your hair before resting his hand fully encompassing one of your breasts.

Instinctively, you hold his arm tightly.  “I’m still mad at you.”

“Eh, I know.”  His lips graze your ear lobe, making you flinch.

“And I don’t wanna go to dinner with you.”

“The reservation time passed.  You slept through it.”  

“Did you go eat without me?”  You ask.

M’Baku’s hand moves to travel up your thigh.  “I’m not going anywhere when you’re laying in my bed.”

You start to feel warm all over, a familiar sensation begs you to give in.  “Whatever man.”

M’Baku’s groan rumbles through his body as he reaches under your nightgown/his shirt, grazing your fupa, playing in your tuft of hair between your legs.  “I don’t want to bed you while you’re angry…”

Your hand clutches his forearm desperately as your legs part slightly involuntarily.  “You think I’m that easy?”

M’Baku’s plush lips falls on your neck softly.  “No.  That’s why you are perfect for me.  I never worked so hard in my life to get what I want.”

His wide hand pushes your legs apart farther as they plunge between your thighs, palming your pussy.  His fingers finding your wetness with ease.

You gasp, hips bucking for friction against his hand.  “I think I need  a little more convincing…”

“At your service.”  M’Baku crawls under the covers.  You giggle as you lie on your back watching his frame under the blanket make mountains to get to your lower portion.  Feeling yourself spread underneath the covers without him in sight is exhilarating for you.  You feel his breath on you as he exhales with built up lust.  When his tongue spreads across your lips your back concaves in aching relief.  M’Baku’s tongue goes into a rhythm between your inner labia, flicking your clit every so often.  The pulsations of his pace threaten your sanity as you try to sit up, crawling backwards slightly, but M’Baku’s arms wrap around your hips to keep you in place.  

He seems to punish you for you resistance, focusing now solely on your clit, sending you into a tizzy.  Sounds like a Campbell’s chicken noodle soup commercial under the covers with all the slurping and lip smacking he shamelessly devotes to taste every drop of you.  You’re blubbering his name, peppering encouragements with begs for mercy as you feel your orgasm wash over your body.  All of the stimulation happening underneath the blanket elevated your pleasure sensors as you couldn’t see the source.  You had to see him or you would for sure lose your mind.  Pulling the blanket back, you see his cheeks hollowing out, maintaining pressure on your clit, eyes deviously trained on yours as he penetrated you with a couple of his fingers.  

This is much worse for you now, but at least you can take it out on him instead of the blanket.

“God, I’m cumming on your face right fucking now, Baku.”   You squeal, fingers gripping his hair as your hip flexors strain to hold back from crushing his skull .

He turns you lose of his mouth finally, crawling up to you to tongue your down, tasting yourself along with him.

“It seems our native tongues were pretty well together.”  M’Baku growls, pulling you down by your legs and he pulls his joggers off, dick unfurling full and ready.  “Have I convinced you yet?”

You claw above your head for something, anything to hold onto.  “You’re getting there.  It’s just, my gut is telling me something else.”

“I can fix that…” M’Baku licks his lips, reaching to take your shirt off over your head, squeezing you titties like fresh picked fruit.  You both groan from the touch, his eyes entranced by your nipples as they draw him in, working his neck to lap his tongue around your areola until its peak is reached.   

You lick your lips, biting them as reach down between the two of you for his dick, stroking it slowly.  You feel him expand in your hand as his moans concentrate on your nipple as he continues to suck, vibrating against your sensitivity.

He comes off of your breast with a pop, smiling devilishly.  “What are you doing?  I’m supposed to be pleasing you tonight, my love.”

“This pleases me, Baku.  This does.”  You whisper as you continue to ready him. 

M’Baku smiles into your mouth, kissing you as you wrap your arms around his neck, laying back as you wrap your legs around him, walls contracting excitedly awaiting his entry.

M’Baku maintains eye contact as you feel his tip pressing into you before the sensation of stretching you makes you break; closing your eyes and mouth falling wide as his girth slowly navigates your canal.

M’Baku mirrors you as your tightness affects him as well, wrapping his hand around your neck lightly before tonguing your tonsils out hungrily.  His hips activate against yours moving in shallow motions to prepare you before taking his strokes longer and longer until his entire length massages your insides beautifully.  

“Fuck, you feel good.”  M’Baku groans as he punches the headboard once for good measure, laying his body flush with your, kissing your neck and clavicle as his strokes picked up pace.  

You gasp as if you’re drowning, clutching onto his arm, kissing his tattoo band gratefully.  “Ohh, my gut is telling me something much different now.”

“What’s it telling you?”  M’Baku grunts in your ear.

“It’s telling me to marry the man attached to this dick.”  You say before your voice hitches from the wave of pleasure flooding over you, seizing your body up.  The sweet cacophony of his skin slapping against yours signals M’Baku’s enjoyment of you in this moment, trapped between your legs as stare into each other’s eyes threateningly.  He pulls out of you, rolling you over to give your ass a slap.

“You need to be on your knees then.”  M’Baku commands.  

You try your best to do as you are told, aftershocks between your legs threaten their stability as you get into position, rubbing yourself lightly as you lie in wait.  Your head is against the mattress as you watch him stroke himself as he plants his hand on your lower back, kissing your cheeks audibly, smacking them both after.

“I don’t think I have convinced you properly of my devotion, love.”  M’Baku says, rubbing the tip of his dick between your swollen labia.

You inhale sharply.  “I’m past that, don’t worry about that baby.  Just please-”

“Don’t interrupt me.  You talk a lot but not when it counts.  I want to hear you when I am inside you.”

You push yourself towards him, trying to geolocate the dick.  “Ok, I will, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”  M’Baku says, spreading your knees father apart before sliding back into you, causing you to illicit a guttural moan.  

“You fill me up so good, Baku.”  You inhale sharply as he works himself inside you roughly.  He bounces his hips against your cheeks with slow deliberate strokes.  Bam, bam, bam!  The force pulls you back on his dick with each thrust, eventually leading you to bounce against him on your own.

“Ah, that’s better.  Come to me like you came over here to tell me off.”  M’Baku says, rubbing your ass.

Biting your lip, you pick up your bounce, arching.  “I don’t play when it comes to this dick, Baku.  Don’t make me wreck you.”

M’Baku smacks one cheek enthusiastically, the sting somehow sweetens your pleasure.  “Show me.”

You give it your all, smacking your ass against his hips, tightening around him as you wind around his length expertly.  Although you had him right where you wanted him, moaning and cursing you, you get high off of your own supply.  The pressure building within you begins to release and you lose your form, holding your breath as you came.

M’Baku would not have that.  He leans over you, holding your head up by your hair.  “I want to hear you…”

He takes over, pounding into you while reaches between you to stimulate your bud.  You squeak, gripping the sheets as he commands you to breathe.  You swear this is impossible as he won’t stop digging you out and stressing your scalp with his grasp.  Then you aren’t sure if this orgasm was really long or another one came quickly but as you opened your throat, you let out an animalistic screech that scared the shit outta you but rocked M’Baku’s world.  He practically pounds you through the mattress to the floor as you both collapse, humping you into submission as he gets his last few strokes in you.  He warms your belly from inside with his release.

M’Baku gets off of you so you can breathe, kissing down your back and examining the mess you all made inside of you.  You jerk feeling him touch you, wiping the remnants down before slowly rolling off to the side of you.  He takes your hand kissing your ring again before looking at you lovingly.

You lay there, twitching every few seconds as you come down.

“Are you cold?”  M’Baku asks, getting up slowly to grab the previously discard blanket.

“No, of course not.  I’m just recuperating.”  You say between the natural jerks of your muscles, your heart still pounding between your legs.

“Any chance of Daniella coming back?  Her accent wasn’t so bad now that I think about it.”  He says, kissing your hand again.

You pick it up, laying it across his face for what was supposed to be a slap.  “Shut up, I’m still frickin embarrassed by that.  You owe me dinner though.”

M’Baku smiles, rolling on his side towards you.  “I do.  I shouldn’t be the only one eating tonight.  Plus, I can’t risk you incinerating my things.”

You lay there in silence, closing your eyes.

“Were you...really going to do that?”

You start to snore.

“(Y/N), honestly.”

[221bshrlocked]

Breaking News!

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader

Words: 2424

Warnings: Awkwardness and Fluffiness :)

A/N: Testing out my hand with your third favorite superhero. Not beta’d or fixed. I just wanted to post this as soon as possible.

Apologizing for the hundredth time to the taxi for making him wait, you struggled out of the car along with your luggage and gave him a generous tip, bidding him a good weekend before looking up to the sky.

“God it’s only five. Someone kill me.” You whispered to yourself, asking for some divine help before grabbing your bag and walking through your building. As soon as you looked at the ‘out of order’ sign on the elevator, you wanted to cry. “There is no way this week can get any worse. Why the fuck did I even choose to live on the 10th floor?” You stood in front of the stairs for a couple of minutes, debating on whether you could just leave your bag down here or call a moving company to carry it because this was not happening. You’d probably die from collapsed lungs if you tried to carry it.

“Need some help?” Jumping at the sudden question, you turned around to see an incredibly attractive and well-dressed man fixing his glasses and pointing at your bag.

“I- uhhhhh, that’s okay. I think I’ll figure something out.” You hated yourself for stuttering in front of him. This week could definitely get worse.

“I mean, the wheels on your luggage broke and the elevator is out of order and you live on the 10th floor so....you need some help??” He chuckled every time your face scrunched as he named each of your current issues.

“Wait how do you know what floor I live on? Are you stalking me?” Your expression must have seemed a little uncomfortable because he gave you one hell of a smile and you almost died.

“I’m your next door neighbor. We never actually met but I’ve seen you run out of your apartment a couple of times in a hurry. I’m Clark by the way, Clark Kent.” The tall man fixed his bag before taking a few steps closer to you and asked you the question quietly again.

“Y/N Y/L/N and ss much as I want you to help me Clark, it’s really heavy and I’d hate to be the cause of some broken bones or a fatigued back. I think I’ll just call someone.” You were about to whip your cell phone out when he unzipped his jacket and leaned down to grab your bag. Before you could start refusing, he was already making his way up the first floor without breaking a sweat.

You, however, were sure death was creeping behind you by the 4th floor and yet here he was making his way up the stairs without even complaining or huffing once or even taking a break.

“Hot damn that’s a nice ass.” Whispering to yourself, you looked up instantly when he suddenly stopped to fix his hold on the bag before continuing up. Clark almost tripped because did you seriously just check him out? He smiled before switching hands and went up a little slower just so you don’t suspect anything.

“Jesus H. Christ can anyone be this cute and sexy at the same time? If only mom would see him…what a specimen.” You spoke to yourself once more, thinking he was definitely far enough to not here you but of course he could, his smile turning into a laugh before he had to cover it up by coughing.

“Hey maybe you should rest, or just let me carry it the rest of the way you’ve really done enough Clark please.” You tried to race in front of him but his larger frame made it impossible for you to go past his arms.

“Only two more floors I’m good. More worried about you actually, you doing alright? You seem a little...off!” Clark didn’t know what else to say because lord knows he wanted to call you out on what you just said and maybe you’d both get something out of it but no. He wasn’t that type of guy. Well, maybe he was; actually he’d make an exception just for you.

As soon as you made it to your floor, you sighed in relief and looked back at him and honestly hated yourself because how the hell did he look so composed carrying 50 pounds of shit up ten floors and here you were panting and wishing you were dead?

“Honestly, I don’t know how to thank you. My superhero!” You dramatically touched your chest and laughed along with him, Clark giggling because of the irony of the whole situation. “You need help with anything else?” Clark asked again, hoping you’d say yes.

“Yeah, my wet panties.” You looked down at your shoes while quietly saying that last part, Clark’s own eyes widening in surprise at your shameless commentary. “Sorry what was that?” He wanted to see how you’d react and sure enough, you looked up at him and swallowed the lump in your throat before squealing a quick ‘nothing.’

“So long trip huh?” He asked just to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah, I was actually attending my cousin’s wedding in Kansas and the three days turned into a week and by the time I got back three days ago, I was needed at the hospital so as you can see, I was close to crying had you not shown up when you did.” You shuffled around in your bag for your keys and Clark had already gotten out his.

“And what do you do?”

“I’m a reporter at the Daily Planet. Sadly my last week wasn’t as adventurous as yours.

“Oh you can’t be serious. Your job is probably more “adventurous” than mine since you’re always writing stories about the super dude. How’s he doing by the way?” Clark’s laugh echoed the hallways at your nickname for him and he had to contain himself to answer, “super dude? Haven’t heard that one before, and he’s probably doing something worth his while right now. My guess, he’s having the absolute best time in weeks.”

“Well, maybe you can take a page out of his book? See where it goes.”

“Nah, I think I’m good.” Clark hears the lock click open as you opened your door and smacks himself mentally for not trying to ask you out. “It was nice to meet you Clark and seriously thank you so much for your help you saved me from having a public mental breakdown. Maybe we should hang out once in a while and catch up okay?”

“Oh, you’re busy now?” You didn’t expect him to ask you this question but part of you felt a little light headed.

“I mean I have to do laundry and cook so how about tomorrow?” You pushed your bag into the apartment before turning back to him.

“I can just order take-out and it’ll get here by the time you finish your laundry!? That way you can just relax for the rest of the night.” Clark really hoped he wasn’t being too forward and a goofy smile took over his features once you nodded and told him to go change and knock on your door when the food gets there.

“See you in a bit.” He yelled out right before you shut the door, taking quick strides to his own place and changing quickly before ordering from his favorite restaurant.

Sometime later, you heard three knocks on your door and ran to open it, your jaw dropping as soon as you took in the way he was dressed. If he looked hot in a suit, then he was on fire now. Quickly averting your eyes from his incredibly tight shirt, you ushered him in and told him to make himself comfortable.

Clark was in the middle of fixing his plate when he heard you talking to yourself again.

“I mean, who the fuck looks that good in a plain blue shirt and gray sweatpants? I’m definitely going to die tonight...no I’m not going to ask him to have sex are you stupid? He’s my next door neighbor you moron. Whatever, I gotta go he’s waiting. Shut up. Bye.” You must’ve been talking on the phone with someone, the conversation replaying in Clark’s mind because he could probably just ask you out and you’d say yes. But what if it backfired? What if you broke up or worse, you found out who he was? No he couldn't do this. Not to you at least.

He looked up as soon as you walked into the room, eyes shooting straight to the pile of laundry in the basket which you just brought out to wash.

“Sorry, this is the last round I swear. You can start eating.” You kept on walking to the washer and dryer near the kitchen, quickly pulling the first round out of the dryer and placing the second one in the washer. You made your way back to your bedroom and looked up at him when you heard him calling your name.

“Yeah what’s up?” The question hadn’t left your lips before he was looking at you with an interested expression, and seconds later, you were running to grab your panties out of his grasp.

“Ummmm,” Clark couldn’t help but blush because of course you owned superman panties.

“I swear I only got them because they were on sale.” You shoved them in your pockets before walking back to your room and throwing them away, shutting the door behind you before going back and fixing your own plate.

“Hey hey no need to explain to me anything. You dropped them and I happened to be around.” Clark tried to think of anything else but you wearing those and straddling him, maybe using him to get off before making out with him. He shook his head violently and looked down to see a tent forming on his sweatpants.

Crap, no abort abort, think of kittens stuck in trees, think of your parents, think of your dog, anything but how she’d feel beneath you god damn it.

“Can we just forget this please like, I don’t want to die of embarrassment tonight. Besides, I own a Batman pair as well so it’s not a big deal.”

And that seemed to do the trick, Clark’s smile dropping instantly because he didn’t need this image right now.

An hour or so passed and the two of you were dying of laughter as you told him what happened at your cousin’s wedding.”Seriously, he just dropped his pants in front of everyone and pretended he was the bride?” Clark asked as he helped you clean up in the kitchen.

“I mean his brother was pissed but it was so fucking hilarious to witness. Hey, you want some tea?” You poured some extra water in the kettle when he nodded, trying to push him off so he doesn’t wash the dishes and marveling at just how solid he was.

“Anyway, what happened next was w-” Not paying attention to where he was walking, you bumped into him violently, causing your hand to tilt and the boiling water to spill all over his chest and feet. “OH MY GOD SHIT SHIT I’M SORRY WAIT HERE!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, throwing the kettle in the sink before running to get your first aid kit from your luggage. When you came back, you saw him standing there looking at his shirt, a quizzical look on your face because he should be screaming in agony.

“Shit shit shit come here, sit down and take your shirt off.” You grabbed his hands and pushed him on the couch before you settled between his knees to examine him.

“Wait Y/N I need to call-”

“Clark stop just trust me okay I’ve dealt with burned patients before. Take your shirt off.” When he didn’t do as you ordered, you took matters into your own hands, quite literally, pulling up his shirt and throwing it across the room before taking out some gauze and pain relief medicine.

But when you looked back at his chest, there was nothing. Not one inch was burned, actually, his skin wasn’t even red or inflamed. It was as clear as a baby’s skin, the hairs adorning his chest wet from the water. Turning your gaze to his feet, you found that they were also just wet and not peeled off or anything.

It took you a few seconds to collect yourself before making eye contact, Clark’s facial expression more apologetic than your own. “Umm, surprise!” He smiled awkwardly before standing up and retrieving his shirt to dry himself off.

A few moments passed before you managed to find something to say.

“Well this is awkward. Ughh, and you saw my panties too.”

“Listen, Y/N-”

“Breaking News! Local girl is an idiot and made a fool out of herself in front of the man of steel.” You collected your tools and placed them back in the box before standing up and sitting on the couch instead of him.

“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t-” Clark started to ask when you cut him off once again, knowing very well he was worried about his secret coming out.

“Don’t worry super dude, I won’t tell a soul. You have my word.” You tried to make things less awkward but he was still standing shirtless in the middle of your apartment.

“It’s a hard secret to keep.” Clark shifted awkwardly in his place, looking everywhere else but you.

“I’m a doctor. It’s my job to not tell secrets, remember? Seriously I won’t tell anyone I swear.” Walking past him, you went to the kitchen and took out a towel to clean up the mess on the floor. When you heard him coming up behind you, you stopped and decided to give him some attention.

He tried to make things a little less awkward and decided to joke around a bit. “So are you going to ask for something in return? Like fly around or something?” You saw what he was trying to do and felt a little bad because you’d be as worried, if not more, as him if such a huge secret escaped.

“Help me clean this up?” He looked at you like you grew a second head and you just shrugged. “Oh and please put a shirt on.”

“Why, you don’t think I’m cute and sexy with my shirt off?” Clark’s heart skipped a beat at your flustered reaction and he hoped that you’d say yes when he finally grew the balls to ask you out.

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[danishprince]

redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no. 

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising 

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both) 

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once 

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter 

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal! 

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both?? 

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself