#I Hate Job Applications I Hate Working On My Resume

[mongoose-king]

did another job application for that org (same sorta job as the last one I did, just local + part-time, instead of abroad for 6 months) and Im like plleeeaasseee just hire me ohmygoood

[wizardlyghost]

looking at my hobbies for something i can put on a resume like hm i really haven't been racking up boastable skills in my free time have i. fuck.

[e77y]

Trying to fix my resume ☝️🤓 Small problem: I sound like a loser no matter what

[sad--tree]

keep saying i don't want 2 work another retail xmas but canNOT 4 the life of me make myself finish my goddamn fucking job applications !!!!!! death & dying & despair etc. etc.

[seilon]

yet again I am whimpering and sobbing at hyatt to give me a job at the big fancy hotel. this is like my 7th application to a job at this one hotel specifically. i should really get the job from sheer dedication to applying over and over again for 7 months alone

[the-kipsabian]

its almost 4am (insomnia my beloathed) and my head hurts

but. i found a job i could apply for

someone send me enough strength to fill an application tomorrow

[edwin-payne-enthusiast]

i applied for 20 jobs today for funsies (i desperately need a job) let's play the game of how many are gonna bother contacting me!

[phantomrose96]

Hey not to go all "tumblr is a professional networking site" on you, but how did you get to work for Microsoft??? I'm a recent grad and I'm being eviscerated out here trying to apply for industry jobs & your liveblogging about your job sounds so much less evil than Data Entry IT Job #43461

This place is basically LinkedIn to me.

I'm gonna start by saying I am so so very sorry you're a recent grad in the year 2024... Tech job market is complete ass right now and it is not just you. I started fulltime in 2018, and for 2018-2022 it was completely normal to see a yearly outflow of people hopping to new jobs and a yearly inflow of new hires. Then sometime around late-spring/early-summer of 2022 Wallstreet sneezed the word "recession" and every tech company simultaneously shit themselves.

Tons of layoffs happened, meaning you're competing not just with new grads but with thousands of experienced workers who got shafted by their company. My org squeaked by with a small amount of layoffs (3 people among ~100), but it also means we have not hired anyone new since mid-2022. And where I used to see maybe 4-8 people yearly leave in order to hop to a new job, I think I've seen 1 person do that in the whole last year and a half.

All this to say it's rough and I can't just say "send applications and believe in yourself :)".

I have done interviews though. (I'm not involved in resume screening though, just the interviews of candidates who made it past the screening phase.) So I have at least some relevant advice, as well as second-hand knowledge from other people I know who've had to hop jobs or get hired recently.

If you have friends already in industry who you feel comfortable asking, reach out to them. Most companies have a recommendation process where a current employee fills out a little form that says "yeah I'd recommend such-and-such for this job." These do seem to carry weight, since it's coming from a trusted internal person and isn't just one of the hundreds of cold-call applications they've received.

A lot of tech companies--whether for truly well-intentioned reasons or to just check a checkbox--are on the lookout for increasing employee diversity. If you happen to have anything like, for example, "member of my college Latino society", it's worth including on your resume among your technical skills and technical projects.

I would add "you're probably gonna have to send a lot of applications" as a bullet point but I'm sure you're already doing that. But here it is as a bullet point anyway.

(This is kind of a guess, since it's part of the resume screening) but if you can dedicate some time to getting at least passingly familiar with popular tech/stacks for the positions you're looking into, try doing that in your free time so you can list it on your resume. Even better if you make a project you can point to. Like if you're aiming for webdev, get familiar with React and probably NodeJS. On top of being comfortable in one of the all-purpose languages like C(++) or Java or Python.

If you get to the interview phase - a company that is good to work for WILL care that you're someone who's good to work with. A tech-genius who's a coworker-hating egotistical snob is a nuisance at best and a liability at worst for companies with even a half-decent culture. When I do interviews, "Is this someone who's a good culture fit?" is as important as the technical skills. You'll want to show you'll be a perfectly pleasant, helpful, collaborative coworker. If the company DOESN'T care about that... bullet dodged.

For the technical questions, I care more about the thought process than I do the right answer, especially for entry-level. If you show a capacity for asking good, insightful clarifying questions, an ability to break down the problem, explain your thought process, and backtrack&alter your approach upon realizing something won't work, that's all more important than just being able to spit out a memorized leetcode answer. (I kinda hate leetcode for this reason, and therefore I only ask homebrewed questions, because I don't want the technical portion to hinge at all on whether someone managed to memorize the first 47 pages of leetcode problems). For a new hire, the most important impression you can give me is that you have a technical grasp and that you're capable of learning. Because a new hire isn't going to be an expert in anything, but they're someone who's capable of learning the ropes.

That's everything I have off the top of my head. Good luck anon. I'm very sorry you were born during a specific range of years that made you a new grad in 2024 and I hope it gets better.

[thebubblesareevil]

Strap in Folks it’s time to learn some shit!

As HR manager at my job I have to look at A LOT of applications because we are primarily a seasonal job. We have busy seasons and slow seasons.

IM SO DONE WITH PEOPLE NOT KNOWING HOW TO ADVERTISE THEIRSELF!!!

Allow me to clarify.

If you take a break between jobs or couldn’t find a job

-did you do baby sitting?

-yard work for family members?

You didn’t have a gap!

Make a note of work history as landscaping or childcare!

Gaps in your employment never look good unless you also state you were in school!

If your previous job sucked and you only stayed there for about a week

- you never worked there

Don’t put on there that you only worked a week or lie about how long you worked there!

-I am absolutely allowed to call previous jobs and not only confirm you worked there and ask how long

-first assumption will always be that you were fired (sucks but it’s true). I don’t have any backstory so I won’t assume the job was at fault.

Resumes!

-Your resume should NEVER be tailored to the job you are applying for.

-this is supposed to be a basic outline of what you have done and what you can do

- I hate the autogenerated resumes from indeed because I have to go down a giant list that tells me you know how to use Microsoft 20 times in a different font.

- if you use indeed please submit an actual resume.

ASK SOMEONE TO READ OVER YOUR RESUME BEFORE SUBMITTING IT!!!!!

It never looks good if you misspell cashier or drink…repeatedly.

-keep it short! Unless you are going into a technical field that needs to know a full list of you certifications and the programs you can use, you want to keep it to 1 page. I need a summary, not a life story

SCHOOL IS NOT WORK EXPERIENCE! Do not put on there that you have 4yrs xp as a student!!!

Speaking of life stories

-do not leverage your kids for a job. If you tell me you have kids and it affects your availability that’s one thing. If you tell me you really need this job because you have kids, now you are using your kids to get a job and that’s not kosher.

Availability!

Do not lie about your availability!!!!

We ask for that for a reason! If you tell me you have open availability and you get hired, I will schedule you based on that availability. If you then tell me you are only available between the hours of 4pm-9pm….you aren’t getting scheduled and will be terminated.

-cannot and will not cater to your availability and schedule everyone else to accommodate your availability. That’s not fair to me or for coworkers.

Interviews!!!

-talk for the love of god, talk! If it’s a group interview, we want to see how involved you are. If it’s one on one, I want to learn about you!

-dress for success! even the most casual of jobs do not want you to show up in a tank top and shorts. You are here for a job not for a party 😭

Okay I think that’s all I need to rant about. There may be more when we hire again and the torture begins again.

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for Peter 'Bono' Bonnington with wife teacher!reader? She's stressed about work and he just shuts her up with kisses and gets caught by the team. And they teased the couple endlessly. Just something fluff and cute. Thanks!! :))

Haha im gonna be honest i see bono as such a sap for his partner, and so that’s how i will always write him

(unless y’all want a part 2 of the love language fic)

sorry i feel like it's short

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

peter bonnington x wife!teacher!reader

---

“I sometimes feel like none of them care. I mean actually I know none of them care, one of the boys, Brayden, straight up asked me ‘miss why does the past matter? Surely the future matters more’ and while I was explaining that we have to study the past to make sure we don’t repeat the future, he was trying to flirt with the girl next to him.” Y/N sighed, Bono and her had found a small secluded area before the race began. But Y/N was really stressed out from work and so Bono had offered to let her vent about it.

“Aww, baby, I’m sorry…” Bono snuggled closer to his partner, wanting them to feel as loved as he could.

“If you ever get a job application from a Brayden Jackson that went to the school I’m teaching, immediately deny him please. It’s just annoying that very few students care, except for the A level students, and the school doesn’t care about me, particularly if we’re taking my recent working hours into account.” Y/N laughed, trying really hard to not let her tears spill.

“I can provide for you darling…you can quit your job, travel the world with me… I know that that’s not what you want to do. I know you love teaching for those few kids who do actually like history, but I hate seeing you so burnt out.” Bono comforted her, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen past her eyes onto her cheeks.

“But it is worth it for those few kids who come through the ranks, who do care. It’s worth 10 of the asshole kids for one of the kids who cares…but the hours are starting to get to me, I’m thinking about trying to find a better job, one that actually cares about me, and not just the kids, but then, I have to quit my job, and then I’ll be unemployed for a bit, until I find another job, and trying to find one of those jobs is hard to find and highly competitive…” Y/N looked even more stressed than she had when she had begun venting and her husband hated seeing her like this.

Bono couldn’t listen to her stress and just planted a kiss on her lips. And then when she looked slightly surprised, he did it again, littering kisses all over her face and lips. She started looking slightly surprised but ended up giggling by the time that Bono stopped his kissing assault for some air.

“What was that for?”

“Just because I love you.”

Bono resumed his kissing of his wife, enjoying her little giggles and smiles. Until he realised that not all the giggles were coming from the woman next to him.

He lifted his head and met eyes with James V, James A, Toto and Lewis all standing over the couple, all trying to hold their laughter in.

“Uhhh, hi?”

“Hi!”

“Hey”

“Hello”

“Morning Bono.” They all responded.

“Uhhh, I kind of thought this was a private corner, what are you all doing here?” Y/N had hid her face in Bono’s shoulder and was giggling at the situation.

“You’re late for pre pre-race briefing so we thought we’d come looking for you.”

“And-”

“And we can clearly tell that you’re busy but we would like to see you in the pre race briefing as soon as you’re um finished.” - Toto started ushering the other guys away

“Yeah, will do, see you guys soon. Now where were we?” Bono asked mischievously as he turned back to his partner, not even looking to see if the others had left fully.

---

“Hey Bono, is the wife coming down this weekend?”

“Uhh, yeah, yeah she is. Why?”

“Oh we made a little spot for you 2 to ‘canoodle’ and you won’t be disturbed.” James A’s grin was way too big for this to be an innocent kind thing, so bono slipped off the chair and followed him down the hall towards the supply closet.

Bono’s face blushed as he saw the little sign reading ‘Y/N and Bono’s smooching corner’ with a photo from their wedding also pasted on the piece of paper.

“Really?”

“Yeah man, your wife is great, but like we really don’t want to catch you snogging again, okay?”

“Okay” Bono replied in a weak voice, pulling out his phone to take a photo to send to Y/N, knowing she could have a good laugh about it.

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

[nanawritesit]

Twice Enemies to Lovers Imagines/ AUs

TW: making out (momo and tzuyu) corruption themes (momo) mentions of killing (sana) revolutionary themes (sana) mentions of daggers and knives (sana and dahyun) reader is kidnapped and tied up (dahyun) sharing a bed (tzuyu) partial nudity (tzuyu) neck kissing (tzuyu) light swearing

Nayeon: Former Best Friends

Your jaw hit the floor as your next applicant walked into your office for an interview. It was Im Nayeon, your high school best friend who ditched you freshman year to become a cheerleader with all the popular girls. To make matters worse, you had always secretly been in love with her. Not that you would ever admit that to yourself.

“Nice to see you again, Im.” you said flatly, flipping through her resume as she sat down in front of your desk.

She looked confused. “I’m sorry sir/ma’am, but I’m not sure what you…” You glared up at her with ice cold eyes, and suddenly she remembered. “Oh, Y/N… I’m so sorry. I didn’t recognize you…” she stammered meekly.

“Doesn’t surprise me. You hardly acknowledged me after you became the ‘it girl’ of our high school.” you resigned, folding your hands together on your desk. “So, what have you been up to since high school?”

She chuckled uncomfortably, eyes shifting to the ground. “Well, I was at university, but… things didn’t work out this semester.”

“So you’re looking for a job just until the end of the semester?” you asked, trying to sound as professional as possible.

“I’m not sure… But I’ll at least need a job until the end of the year. I’m living back home now.” she explained. “I need a job in the worst way, and to be honest I’m really relieved that you’re the owner of this place.”

You cleared your throat, closing up her resume and looking at her sternly. “So you think that just because you were super popular in school and I wasn’t that I’ll immediately hire you at my restaurant?”

“No, no! Not at all!” she insisted, eyes widening. “It’s just… you’re a very kind person. And you’ve always had a way of making me feel calm. I always remembered that, even if I didn’t recognize you at first.”

You winced. There she went again, making you feel special. It scared you how easily her praise still got to you.

“Oh… sorry for jumping to conclusions.” you mumbled.

“No, it’s alright…” she reassured you, seemingly okay with taking all the blame. “I’m really sorry we drifted apart. I never meant to hurt you. You were actually the person I cared about more than anything. I just thought you wouldn’t want to be friends with a cheerleader given how much we used to make fun of them.”

You glanced at the ground nervously. You were kind of a pick-me in high school. Not that it was your fault, you were just conditioned to be that way. In high school, you were either popular, or you hated everything related to being popular.

“I understand.” you told her. “It was quite a long time ago.”

“See… I’m not doing well in my classes, and my parents said I can’t move back home unless I find a job first.” she explained, eyes locking in on yours. “Please, consider me.”

Her pretty eyes were sparkling with need the way they always did, and your last reserve finally cracked at the sight of them.

“Okay, okay, the job is yours.” you told her, a reluctant smile appearing on your face.

“Really?” she asked, a huge grin breaking out on her face. “Oh, thank you so much!” She stood up to shake your hand making you laugh.

“No problem. Can you start tomorrow?” you asked, still sitting at your desk.

“Yes, I’ll be here!” she chirped, grabbing her bag. “You won’t regret this, I promise!”

Once she shut the door behind her, you plopped your head down on your desk, releasing a huge sigh. “Oh, I most likely will.”

Jeongyeon: Bad First Impression

You were running horribly late for your first day on the job. You had gotten an internship at a high end company, and were expected to bring everyone coffee in the morning. So now, you were carrying a carrier full of four huge iced coffees while sprinting down the sidewalk. You could see your building in the distance, all you had to do was turn one corner and you would make it to work on time!

That was, until you actually turnt the corner and slammed straight into a girl who was walking while on her phone. All four of the iced coffees splashed between the two of you, ruining both of your outfits.

“Oh my gosh, watch where you’re going!” she screeched, wiping coffee off her face.

“Me?” you questioned, fixing your hair. “You’re the one who wasn’t looking where you were going! Maybe if you weren’t glued to your phone, we wouldn’t be covered in coffee right now!”

She scoffed. “Well maybe if you weren’t running with a carrier full of coffees…”

You both stopped what you were doing as your eyes locked in on each other. She was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that makes your heart stop beating. She seemed to be caught off guard by you as well, the two of you just staring at each other blankly for a moment.

“I’m sorry, this was totally my fault.” you chuckled, adjusting your bag. “I shouldn’t have been running down the sidewalk.”

��No, you’re right, it was stupid to be on my phone while I was walking. I’m sorry for not paying attention.” she refuted, laughing along with you. “I’m Jeongyeon, by the way.”

“Y/N.” you told her, shaking her hand. “I’m sorry I covered you in coffee. I’m just running horribly late for my first day on the job…” you sighed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Although I’m sure I can kiss it goodbye now, as I’m either going to show up soaked in coffee or an hour late.”

“I’m really sorry about that…” she said sympathetically. “Where’s the job?”

“Right behind us, actually.” you laughed, gesturing behind you.

“Oh my gosh, I work here!” she told you exasperatedly. “In the administrative department!”

“That’s where I’m interning!” you gasped, a hopeful smile making its way onto your face.

“This is perfect. I’ll just call the office and say that someone ran into the two of us while we were walking in, and that we had to go change clothes.” she suggested.

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver!” you sighed in relief, placing a hand affectionately on her arm. “Are you sure they’ll accept that as an excuse though?”

“Oh please, everyone here loves me. My word is law.” she giggled, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Now, let’s go get you some fresh clothes and new coffees, okay? I’ll even buy my own, since I’m pretty sure one of them was.”

You laughed along with her, letting her lead you down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Somehow, you had made an enemy, ally, and crush all in the same day. Lord help you in navigating this relationship.

Momo: Angel/ Demon AU

You bit your tongue in anger. Things were not going well with your latest assignment. You were trying to be a guardian angel to a certain human to improve their life. However, this human also happened to be under the influence of a demon. Not only a demon, but one of the most powerful demonesses in your department. Momo Hirai.

“Something wrong, angel?” a sultry voice asked. You whipped around to see her standing at the entryway of your human’s living room. You could see them, but they couldn’t see you. She was absolutely captivating, with her dark hair, ruby red lips, and tight black dress.

Remembering yourself, you looked away. “As a matter of fact, yes. You are.” you spat, crossing your arms across your chest.

“Oh, I didn’t know you thought about me so much.” she grinned, stepping closer to you. “I wonder what twisted little fantasies are running through that pretty little head.”

“You wish.” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “I happen to be a being of purity.

“How boring…” Momo sighed, stopping in front of you, who was leaned against the wall. “I figured someone like you would feel really repressed. Nothing causes the mind to wander more than being cooped up with a bunch of puritans.”

You swallowed hard. How had she known that you’d been having sinful thoughts lately? You wondered if she also knew that she was the subject of some of them.

Deciding you had to stand your ground, you held your head up high. “It’d be none of your business if I did.”

“Oh, I know…” she glanced down at your lips momentarily, then met your eyes once more. “I just can’t help myself. Seeing you, who’s so bright and clean… it makes me think about how much I’d like to corrupt you.”

Your heart stopped. Every part of your brain was screaming at you to resist her.

“L-like how?” You could barely control the words coming out of your mouth.

She grinned a sinister smile, brushing some of your hair behind your shoulder and playing with it. “Well, for starters, I could run my fingers through this pretty hair…”

Your eyes squinted shut at the feeling of her doing so, hating how good it felt.

“I could gaze into these sparkling doe eyes…” she purred, tilting your chin up to look her in the eye. Her own dark eyes were locked in on yours, pupils dilated but squinted slightly like a siren’s.

You allowed her to push you further against the wall, showing absolutely no sign of displeasure at her actions. “Then what?” you whispered.

“Then… I could kiss these beautiful, delicious lips…” Momo finally leaned down and connected her lips with yours, pressing her body up against yours with a fiery passion.

You moved your arms up around her waist, hands gripping onto her for dear life. The pleasure was so great, you almost forgot why you vowed to resist temptation in the first place.

Her hands snaked up into your hair, tugging slightly and making you whimper into her mouth. You could feel her smirk at this, and with the knowledge that you were enjoying yourself, she slipped her tongue into your mouth, letting it explore slightly before pulling away.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” you muttered breathlessly, forehead still pressed against hers. “Both of us could get fired if anyone found out about this.” Demons and angels were not allowed to have relationships. “Besides, how do I know you’re not just using me to win over my human?”

“You can have the human.” she told you without hesitation. “I don’t need them. Right now, I only want you.”

You looked at her closely, studying her expression for any sign of dishonesty. If this was a trick, or one of her lustful schemes, she wouldn’t have been so upfront about it. She would’ve been sneakier.

“I want you too, Momo…” you sighed, crashing your lips into hers once again.

Maybe you would lose your angel status for this, but you knew that no amount of purity would ever feel as good as Momo on your lips would.

Sana: Royal/ Assassin AU

You grunted as you scaled the wall of the castle with a dagger in each hand. One of them would momentarily be used to kill the princess in her sleep. You winced as you thought about what you had to do, feeling your stomach turn.

You were a member of a rebel legion who was planning on overthrowing the palace during a coup. While you weren’t too thrilled about having to kill anyone, you believed the king and queen deserved it. They were incessantly cruel to their subjects, denying them any assistance and punishing them when they took matters into their own hands. Your people were dying of starvation while they were having extravagant parties, and something had to be done about it.

There really was no reason to kill the princess other than your leader feared it would be unwise to leave the only rightful heir to the throne alive. You didn’t think it was right, but the suffering you and your people endured overcame that.

As you reached Princess Sana’s bedroom window, you carefully crept inside and over to her canopy bed. As the moonlight graced her features, your breath hitched in your throat. She looked so peaceful, so content… not to mention, she was positively breathtaking.

You sighed defeatedly, realizing you couldn’t possibly harm this innocent girl. You stepped back and dropped your daggers on the floor, startling her awake.

“Hm? What’s going on? Who are you?” she asked, clutching her blankets to her chest in fear.

“Sh, it’s okay. I’m here to help.” you tried to reassure her. “There’s a rebel legion that’s going to assassinate the king and queen momentarily, and they want to kill you too. If you want to live, you’ll have to escape with me right now.”

She gasped, throwing her blankets off of her. She looked so adorable in her long white nightgown and pink hair bow. “Oh my, let’s go then!”

You grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway and out through the back of the palace. You knew your legion would only be using the front entrance.

The two of you ran off into the night, ducking into a nearby forest for protection. Luckily it was a warm summer night, and the weather was mild.

“I’m sorry about your parents.” you finally spoke as you both caught your breath. It hadn’t dawned on you that Sana might not take the news of her parents assassination very well until just now.

“It’s alright. To be honest, I’ve always hated them. I was hoping to become a better leader than them one day, but they were only interested in marrying me off to a nearby kingdom. I’m just glad the kingdom will be heading in a better direction.” She sat down by the riverbed, taking her hair out of its bow and letting it fall over her shoulders in loose waves. “Thank you for rescuing me.”

“I don’t deserve any thanks.” you sighed, sitting down next to her. “I was the one who was supposed to kill you.”

She gave you an unfazed expression. “Well, you didn’t. And I never really liked being a princess anyway. I’ve always craved a life of adventure.”

“Well, you’re certainly going to get it.” you chuckled, stretching out to lay down in the grass. “We’re going to have to flee the kingdom, or at least go to the countryside. They’re going to wonder where the lost princess is, and why she wasn’t executed.”

She laid down next to you, curling into your side. “But… you’ll protect me right?” Her eyes were so big and twinkling with innocence. She looked as if she would shatter into a million pieces without you.

“Why do you trust me so easily?” you asked her genuinely. Any other princess wouldn’t have even believed you, let alone followed you into the woods.

She smiled cutely, brushing some of your hair back. “I had a dream once that someone came into my room and saved me from being a princess.” She traced your features with your finger. “They looked just like you.”

Your mouth fell slightly agape. You were never one to believe in fate or destiny, but this girl was making you second guess yourself.

“Now, are you going to take care of me?” she asked again.

“Of course I will.” you told her, running a hand through her long hair. “Now, let’s get some sleep. I’ll find us some breakfast in the morning.”

Jihyo: Idol Rivalry

Park Jihyo was the bane of your existence. The two of you had hated each other for years, and for good reason. For one, you were both under different companies that constantly compared artists with each other. Two, both of your groups debuted around the same time, and since then it felt like every time your group got a moment in the spotlight, Twice would come along and upstage you. And three, you were both leaders, so everyone expected you to get along due to your similar roles. However, all that meant was that you were both extra protective of your groups, and even more hostile when someone threatened their success.

Today, however, your rivalry was coming to an eruption as both of your groups were performing at the MAMA awards. Luckily, they were spaced apart enough to where it wouldn’t look like one of you was the opening act for the other. Both of your groups put their absolute all into the performances, and everyone agreed that you both owned the award show.

Your members somehow all got along. It was just you and Jihyo that couldn’t seem to find a common ground.

You were thinking this over as you walked up to her dressing room after the show. You decided it was time to be a grown up and hash things out with her. You took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

“Come in.” she chirped from behind the door. You walked in, seeing her at her vanity, still in her stage outfit. You lost the plot for a bit as you took in her features. Her beautiful skin, her pretty eyes, her perfect smile… wait, when did she get so gorgeous?

“Oh… hi Y/N.” she interrupted your thoughts with genuine surprise. “What are you doing here?”

You shut the door behind you and walked up to her. “I’ve come with an olive branch.” you began in a serious tone.

She glanced behind you, furrowing her brows. “Really? I don’t see one.”

You bit your tongue to keep from laughing. Damn, she was funny, but you were trying to have a serious moment!

“A metaphorical olive branch.” you sighed, pretending to be annoyed to save face. “We’ve been fighting for years because of stupid reasons. I think it’s time we sort out our differences.”

She smiled warmly, inviting you to sit down on her sofa. “So, what exactly are our differences?” she asked, starting to remove her makeup.

“Well for starters, you guys have always overshadowed us.” you told her. “Every time we’d start getting attention, you guys would immediately do something even better, and then it was all anyone could talk about. I guess I was sick of the company always telling us how much better you guys are.”

She paused, making eye contact with you in her mirror. “Are you serious?”

You nodded. What did she mean ‘are you serious,’ of course you were serious! It wasn’t that hard to comprehend.

“Oh my god, that’s so funny…” she laughed out loud, shaking her head. She spun around in her chair to face you. “Y/N, ever since we debuted, all our company does is compare us to you.”

“You’re kidding…” you marveled, eyes widening in shock.

“No, I’m serious! I especially get compared to you a lot. You’re super mature and have killer visuals, not to mention you’re one of the best dancers in the industry.” she praised, leaning back in her chair slightly.

“Oh please, I would commit arson to have your vocal skills! You light up a whole stadium with them!” you told her enthusiastically. “You’re so bright and energetic, and you’re absolutely stunning. I mean, who wouldn’t hate you?” you joked, slapping her on the knee playfully.

The two of you laughed for a moment, then sat in a comfortable silence. It was probably the most pleasant interaction you’d ever had.

“Did we just compliment each other?” she asked suddenly, cocking her head to the side.

You shrugged. “I guess so. Maybe we’re not so different after all.”

She smiled affectionately, moving to sit next to you on the sofa. “I actually think I quite like you now.”

The way she was looking at you made you feel butterflies. You didn’t know if you were seeing things or what, but she looked as if she was absolutely captivated by you.

You shrugged cheekily, a sly smirk making its way onto your face. “I kind of like you too. See you around?”

She nodded enthusiastically, a hopeful glint in her eyes. With that, you turned and exited her dressing room, pressing your hands to your warm cheeks.

How did that just happen?

Mina: Fake Dating

“I can’t believe they actually fell for it!” Mina marveled as you both exited the party into the cool night air.

“I know right! Like, are they really that stupid?” you laughed, leading her back to your car.

You wondered how everyone had set aside all their memories of you two absolutely hating each other when you walked into the party holding onto her waist. Anyone with eyes could see that you and Mina despised each other before. You guessed that the two of you were just really good at acting.

What led to your truce was that both of your crushes weren’t paying any attention to either of you. You were trying to win back your ex, whereas Mina’s crush had totally friend-zoned her. So, you came to an agreement that you would pretend to date each other in order to hopefully make your crushes jealous.

You were worried that it was going to be hard to sell your affections for Mina, but it turned out to be surprisingly easy. From spending time with her, you were able to see that she was actually really funny, incredibly bright, and sensitive. Not to mention, she was a perfect ten. That was part of the reason you hated her so much.

As you drove off to drop Mina off at her house, you kept glancing over at her with an amused smile.

“What?” she asked, giggling slightly.

“Nothing, it’s just… you’re so different from what I thought you were.” you answered, eyes focusing back on the road.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she interrogated you, crossing her arms with a smirk.

“Well, to be honest, I thought you were incredibly stuck-up. I mean, you hardly paid any attention to me, and whenever you did, it was to disagree with something I said.” you chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that…” she apologized, shifting her body to face you more. “I have a tendency to close myself off when I find someone intimidating.”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Intimidating? How could you find me intimidating?”

“Oh come on, Y/N!” she rolled her eyes, hitting your arm lightly. “You’re like the coolest person ever! When you talk, everyone pays attention to you. It makes me so jealous the way you command a room.”

You shook your head in amazement. “I had no idea you felt that way…”

“Yeah well, I do.” she laughed. She ran a hand through her hair as if to calm herself down.

The two of you enjoyed a comfortable silence for a moment until you spoke again. “You did a really good job today.”

“Thanks, so did you.” she complimented you, nudging you slightly.

“I’m sure your crush is still thinking about how good we looked together.” you pointed out.

“Oh yeah, them…” she resigned, looking out the window absentmindedly. “Well, I’m sure your ex felt the same way.”

You glanced over at her. Why did she seem to shut down when you brought up your love interests? Isn’t that what she had wanted out of this?

“Well, there you are ma’am.” you announced as you pulled into her driveway.

She snapped out of her daze and grabbed her purse, turning to you with a smile. “Thanks again, Y/N. You make a wonderful fake partner.” Suddenly, she leaned forward and planted a brisk kiss on your cheek. You looked at her in disbelief, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Just practicing. You know, for the next time we see them.”

“Oh, r-right…” you stammered, shifting anxiously in your seat. “Well, see you later!”

“Bye bye!” she waved, cutely scampering away into her house.

You sighed, slamming your head against the steering wheel. Suddenly, a relationship with Mina was sounding a lot better than getting back with your ex. Why did you think this was a good idea again?

Dahyun: Hero/ Villain AU

You struggled against your restraints, rocking the chair you were tied to back and forth. You were previously on a mission from the hero agency to retrieve a stolen artifact from a well-known villain, but something had went wrong, and they ended up capturing you. Now, you were tied up and didn’t know what awaited you.

You screeched into the cloth around your mouth in frustration, feeling hot tears prick at your eyes as you realized there was no way to get out of these ropes. Damn it all. Was this going to be how you were going to be taken down?

Suddenly, you heard a rustling coming from the window in the corner of the room. You furrowed your brow in confusion, until it opened and in tumbled Kim Dahyun, your arch-nemesis.

“Dahyun? What are you doing here?” you asked, although it just sounded like a bunch of muffled syllables to her.

“Sh, I’m here to get you out of here.” she instructed you. She then came over to undo the cloth around your mouth and slice through your ropes with her knife.

“Why are you helping me?” you asked, massaging your wrists from their rope burn.

“Because, you’re my enemy.” she smirked, crawling back through the window she had previously entered in. “If anyone’s going to take you down, it’s going to be me.”

You scoffed with a smile, getting up to follow her. “I won’t go down so easily.”

“Oh I know. I’m looking forward to it.” she cockily winked. “Now, are you coming or not?” She extended her hand to you, face illuminated by the soft candlelight of the room. God, she was devastatingly beautiful. Perhaps in another universe, the two of you would’ve made a great couple.

You brushed the thoughts away, knowing they could only lead to heartache, and instead just took her hand and fled with her by your side. Maybe you didn’t need a relationship with her. This game of cat and mouse was too damn fun anyway.

Chaeyoung: Forced to Hang Out by Mutual Friends

You walked into the restaurant, face twisting into a scowl as you realized only one person was at your table: Son Chaeyoung, whom you could not stand. However, you had to get along with her because she was a part of your friend group. You knew she didn’t really care for you either, but also agreed to keep the peace for the sake of your mutual friends.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, then walked over to the table to sit across from her. “Hi Chaeyoung.” you said, flatly but still politely.

She looked up from her phone and cracked a forced smile. “Hey there, Y/N.”

“I wonder why everyone’s so late.” you commented, trying to make small talk.

“I’m not sure.” she replied. The two of you shared an awkward silence, save for your repetitive tapping on the table. After a while she coughed uncomfortably.

“Hi there! Are you two here for the couple’s special?” the waitress suddenly asked as she arrived at your table.

You both looked at each other horrified. “No, we’re definitely not a couple…” you insisted.

“Yeah we’re just waiting for some of our friends.” Chaeyoung explained to her, chuckling nervously.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the waitress apologized. “I’ll come back in a few minutes, okay?” You both nodded, and she scurried off to the other end of the restaurant. Wow… you thought, the two of you were so uncomfortable it was spreading to other people.

“I’ll text them and see what’s keeping them.” Chaeyoung announced, picking her phone back up. However, her eyes widened as soon as she looked at the screen. “Apparently Rosè is sick.”

“Really? That’s odd. She seemed fine yesterday…” you replied, grabbing your own phone. You too already received a text, but from Yeoreum.

yeoreum 🌻: “hey, sorry to cancel last minute, but i forgot i have a doctors’ appointment :( say hi to the girls for me!”

You sighed, setting your phone back down. “Well, Yeoreum bailed too.”

“Are you serious?” Chaeyoung asked. “Well, at least there’s…” However she never got to finish her sentence, because both of your phones rang at the same exact time. You were getting a call from Somi, and she was getting a call from Jinsol. You both snatched up your phones again and slammed the answer button.

“Hey Y/N!” Somi chirped on the other end of the line. “I gotta cancel today. Forgot I already made plans with my sister!”

“No, Somi please-“

“Have fun! Give my love to the girls!” she responded, hanging up.

You squinted your eyes shut and sighed, setting your phone down to see Chaeyoung doing the exact same. “Jinsol too?”

“Yep.” she nodded. “Something about a family reunion.”

It was obvious that all your friends had planned this in an effort to get you and Chaeyoung to spend time with each other and hopefully sort out your differences. However, right now that seemed like a lost cause, as both of you were consumed with irritation and discomfort at the situation.

“Great…” you grumbled, putting your head in your hands. “Guess we’re stuck with each other.”

“I don’t get what your problem is with me.” she snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Me? You’re the one with the problem!” you responded defensively. “You’ve always hated me for no reason. I can see it in the way you talk to me.”

“That’s not true!” she replied angrily, furrowing her brow in frustration. “I was just upset with you because you threw that huge party a year ago and invited everybody but me! I had to hear about it from Bangchan of all people!”

Your jaw unhinged in disbelief. You had totally forgotten about that event, and how you never invited Chaeyoung. To tell the truth, you couldn’t even remember why you didn’t invite her in the first place.

“I didn’t know it bothered you so much…” you marveled, leaning back in your chair as if backing down from your anger. “I guess… maybe I assumed you wouldn’t want to go? You don’t really seem like the type to enjoy a huge party.”

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have want to be invited.” she retorted, glancing down at the table nervously.

You blinked, straightening yourself up. “You’re right. That was really rude of me. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you.”

She smiled genuinely for the first time since you had known her. “I appreciate that.”

“If I have another party and invite you, will you stop hating me?” you chuckled.

“I wouldn’t say I hated you…” she replied, softening even more. “There were still things I really liked about you.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” you asked, trying not to be too enthusiastic with your curiosity.

“You have a really pretty smile, you’re super passionate about what you do, you’re really sharp and witty…” she listed out with a bright grin. “You’re really cool. I guess that’s why I was so mad you didn’t invite me.”

“I understand why you were mad, and I’m sorry again.” you replied, looking at her sympathetically. “But it didn’t come from a place of malice. I actually think you’re really cool.”

“You do?” she inquired perplexedly.

“Of course I do! You always make everyone laugh, you’re super nice to everybody… and you’ve got a really cute face.”

She grinned, and you swore you saw her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “You think I’m cute?”

Now it was your turn to blush. You cleared your throat, then glanced away with shifty eyes. “I mean, like objectively. You have bright eyes or whatever.”

She giggled quietly to herself, then as soon as your eyes were focused back on her, she spoke again. “I think you’re pretty cute too.”

You couldn’t help the smile that crept it’s way up your expression, looking away again bashfully.

“Do we still need a few more minutes?” the waitress asked, suddenly appearing again.

“Nope, I think we’re ready.” you replied, glad to be changing the subject. “I guess we will take that couple’s special since it’ll just be the two of us.”

“Oh, well it’s actually only for real couples…” the waitress told you sympathetically.

“What if this was our first date?” Chaeyoung asked her. Your eyes widened as you whipped your head around to look at her. She was just looking at the waitress with a confident grin. You had never seen her so bold, and you had to admit, it was really attractive. You were starting to kick yourself for messing things up with her in the past. You could’ve been around her best self this whole time… well, at least you were seeing it now. And you couldn’t get enough of it. You loved the excitement about where things were going with her.

Tzuyu: Only One Bed

You frowned as you realized who had just walked into your hotel room. “What are you doing here Tzuyu?”

“Believe me, this wasn’t my choice.” she groaned, shoving the door shut behind her. “Apparently the hotel booked up their last room by accident. And since you’re the only one who doesn’t have a roommate yet, I’m going to have to room with you.”

“Are you serious?” you asked, sitting up in your bed. “Aren’t there any other hotels in the area?”

“I went all around the neighborhood looking for one. Why do you think I’m soaked? It’s pouring down rain right now.” she complained. “They’re all booked up too.”

You took in her appearance. “Where’s your suitcase?”

“Airport lost it.” she replied, an angry sarcastic smile on her face. “This is a really great vacation so far. None of my things, and I’m stuck with you.”

“Yeah, well I’m not exactly thrilled about this either.” you sneered, shuffling your way out of bed. “Here, you can have one of my big shirts.”

She looked amazed. “Wait, are you actually being nice to me?”

You glared at her. “I may not like you very much, but I’m not heartless. Now go change.” You threw the shirt at her and got back into bed. You thought you caught a glimpse of a smirk on her face, but she turned the corner to the bathroom so fast you couldn’t be sure.

You got settled in bed again, then stared up at the ceiling. You were currently on a group vacation with all of your friends. Well, Tzuyu wasn’t your friend, but she had come along because she was close with some of your friends. You did kind of feel sorry for her… it had to suck losing all of your things. You shook your head. There was no need to feel sympathy for her when she had never made any effort to be nice to you. However, your thoughts were interrupted as she re-emerged from the bathroom, wearing nothing but your shirt. Your heart stopped. She looked really cute, with her wet hair and bare legs.

She chuckled cockily. “Like what you see?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” you scoffed, rolling over in resignation.

She laughed at you again, walking over to the other side of the bed and crawling in. “Try to control yourself Y/N, we’ll both need some sleep for all the stuff they have planned tomorrow.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” you laughed, curling up in displeasure. “Rosè and Chaeyoung were way too excited about going downtown.”

“I know right? Like, how many shops can you go to before you get bored?” Tzuyu joked, making you laugh even harder. “And Elkie and Shuhua want to go to that museum…”

“Oh my god, what a snooze-fest.” you rolled your eyes, making her cackle even louder. You started chuckling again too, and soon you were both consumed with laughter.

“Do you realize this is the first time we’ve had a conversation without arguing?” you asked, leaning over to face her with an amused smile.

“Yeah… it was pretty nice.” she responded, looking at you and resting her head against the pillow. You both just stared at each other affectionately for a moment, taking in each others’ features. “Well, I guess we should go to sleep.”

“Yeah…” you agreed, moving to turn off the lamp. “Goodnight Tzuyu.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You lied awake for a moment, glancing over at her every so often. You couldn’t help the giddy, flustered feeling that crept up in your chest. You never knew Tzuyu could be so pleasant, and you were excited you got to share a room with her for the rest of the vacation. And you were even more excited to share a bed with her. Your mind started to wander about holding her, touching her, kissing her…

You shook your head, shuffling a bit. You couldn’t think these things while she was asleep next to you. Unless… maybe she was thinking them too?”

“Y/N?” she suddenly asked, rolling over to face you.

Your heart stopped. Holy shit, was she reading my mind?

“Yeah?” you asked, mirroring her actions.

You both stared at each other in desperation for a while, until she dove forward and kissed you passionately. You were taken aback for a second, but soon brought your hands up around her neck. She shifted to straddle you, kissing you more intensely. She pulled away for a breather just as your hands were going up into her hair.

“I hate you.” she smirked evilly, gasping for air.

“I despise you.” you retaliated, yanking her hair slightly and making her whimper a bit. You used her moment of weakness as an opportunity and pushed her over to straddle her. You began kissing her again, then moved down to nip at her neck and chest. “Let me show you just how much I do.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for editing my friends cover letter and then telling him I wouldn’t give him my employee number for a referral if he used the cover letter he wrote? (Emojis to find this whenever it posts)

✍️🧠

For some context… I work for a HUGE university that is extremely hard to get a job at. I have friends in HR here now and they said pretty much every job posting (and the postings are pretty sparse) gets a minimum of 250-300 applications. I got extremely lucky securing my job and truly do not take that for granted. And now that I’m an “insider” I have the ability to make referrals for my friends so that they can at least get an interview and hopefully a job here too and hop on the good pay and excellent benefits train especially since we’re all coming up on 26, therefore, we are all losing our health insurance (yay America).

So, one of my friends finished his masters degree recently and was looking for jobs in my area and saw something at my place of employment he was interested in. I told him I would be more than happy to look over his cover letter and resume before he submitted his application because I know what they look for in those. He said if there was any major changes he would pay me for edits too. I agreed because why not help my friend out. Give him a shot at this place.

And as much as I hate to say it… his cover letter was just… bad. It was so bad I reread it a good 5 times before I was fully able to comprehend just how bad it was. I had to go for a walk around the block to collect my thoughts on it. It literally made me question how he got a masters degree if I am being completely frank. It was also just so atrocious I offered to edit it for free because I felt so bad.

I don’t want to give specifics but think, half a paragraph on things he explicitly states that he has not done and will never do in his masters program, saying “folks” instead of colleagues (which is fine in conversation but like. Not for a cover letter ya know?), talked more about his experience in retail than he did his actual masters program, and just so so so much more.

So to just give him as fair of a shot as I could, I asked him for his thesis and service work that he did in his program, and asked permission to pretty much start from scratch on his cover letter. He excitedly agreed and told me to “go to town and do what you have to” and said “you know better than me what they’re looking for” and once I returned the final product to him he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the amount of jargon I inserted and the amount of changes I made to his “flare”. I had my friend in HR at the specific department I work at read it over and he said it was spectacular and he would interview someone with the cover letter in a heartbeat. I told my friend that and he still felt like I “robbed it of his personality.” I told him he’s welcome to edit it however he wants but my friends in HR said it was really strong how I wrote it and I would highly recommend not making any changes before he applies if he wants to get an interview and told him to just think on it for a bit before throwing in his application.

He didn’t respond for a couple of days and then called me out of the blue and told me he was working on his application now, was planning on using his original cover letter unedited, and needed my ID number for the referral. And I said… no. I am super super lucky to have my job and as jobs here are in such high demand I was scared to stick my neck out for him because I felt it might stain my reputation and reflect poorly on me. And he yelled at me and accused me I was being selfish and uppity about my job and that I needed to just give him the number because “if doesn’t matter anyway”. I tried to explain to him that any referral an employee makes gets added to their file regardless if the person got hired or not.

I did not want to stand by his original cover letter because I felt like it would’ve knocked him out of the running LONG before the interviews would’ve even started getting scheduled. I also feel it is important to add, I never told him his cover letter was garbage. I just told him it needed some work/jargon/fine tuning to the job description. I would never EVER say something like that to someone because I would never want to hurt someone’s feelings

I feel horrible. I didn’t want him to be hurt by the advice and changes I was making but I am in a very interesting and delicate position with my job in that I am one of like 5 people in any kind of administrative role at the entire institution that doesn’t have a bachelors degree. I secured my job because I worked as a temporary assistant for a few months and they loved me so much they made an exception to hire me in fully. I am deeply loved in my department and I truly love my job with all of my heart. It is wonderful and incredibly rewarding to do the work that I do so I really do not want to fuck this up for myself. I have had other friends apply and get jobs here with a little guidance and they love it too. I absolutely want that for my friend I was trying to help. I truly do. But he was not willing to take my advice and I just couldn’t risk sticking my neck out for him. So… AITA?

TL/DR: I work for a hard to get into place. Spent a lot of time fixing my friends app bc he writes like a 14 year old despite having a masters degree. He said he was using his shitty cover letter and asked for my referral number anyway and I told him no it’s not gonna happen because I can’t afford to stick my neck out like that since I got my job in a non traditional way leaving me a bit more vulnerable than most. I never explicitly told him “your cover letter is garbage” because I didn’t want to make him feel bad but warned him it would most likely not make it to the interviews and the one that I wrote him was applauded by my friends who work in HR.

What are these acronyms?

[amoxicillin-tangent]

how to leave a cult & stay out (long post)

i know this isn't my usual brand, but i felt the need to make this post given the fact that my poetry journey started as an exploration of emotions after i left the cult i was in. i know a lot of my followers initially followed me for that content, and i wanted to write this in case anyone needs it.

some background: the cult i left was a small evangelical patriarchal cult with a commune-type living situation. i am afab, with little to no family support and no college experience. i live in the US. i have no experience with anything outside this situation, and thus, my advice will not be universal. however, i've left and stayed out of my cult for nearly a year, and i wanted to share what i learned. i remember wishing i'd had a post or a book or anything to help me know what to expect, so here's what i've gathered so far!

tws: religious abuse discussion and addiction/nicotine mentions

leaving (logistics)

work

my ability to logistically and financially separate from my cult stemmed largely from the fact that i had work outside the commune & their sphere. my first attempt to leave was thwarted simply by the fact that, at that time, i worked with other 4 cult members and had no ability to seek outside employment without raising suspicion.

however, i was able to gain permission to seek external employment under the premise that i would be able to tithe more, and that i felt this was "the direction i was being led in." i am aware that this is not the case for every cult. in fact, after i left, it essentially stopped being the case for mine either. however, if at all possible, gaining external employment is key.

if you cannot seek external employment, save every single penny you can [in cash if they check your bank statements], and submit job applications a couple weeks or so before you leave. do not be afraid to quit a job that the members have some access to in order to be in a safer situation, because that mentality will keep you tied there for longer. a script for asking your manager not to penalize you for a sudden exit would look something like this (presuming the managers were not also members or leaders of the cult):

"hello X,

i am experiencing some unforeseen circumstances and leaving a dangerous [complicated, difficult, etc.] situation. my last day will be [day before you plan on leaving the cult]. i understand that this is not a full two-weeks-notice, but due to this circumstance, i am asking for understanding. please keep this confidential, as it would threaten my safety if others knew about this."

if you don't trust your management not to blab, ask for answers from other members, or even just accidentally let something slip, it is acceptable to quit the day you leave. it's better to have a rough patch on your resume than to spend the rest of your life in a cult, and in all honesty, it doesn't really matter much anyways. a gap in your resume can easily be explained away as time spent caring for a family member or staying safe in the current pandemic, and quitting under "unfavorable circumstances" still bodes significantly better than being fired. this is, of course, all worst case scenario. most managers will be understanding.

having another job lined up immediately after leaving will also prevent a great deal of problems with this. job interviews can be completed virtually from a coffee shop you know they wouldn't visit, or the house of a safe friend or family member. in the middle of this post is a list of excuses you could use to step out for a job interview, and if that's not possible: while you're PIMO [physically in, mentally out, a term for still being present in the cult but having the desire and plan to leave] you can schedule your job interviews in advance for the days/weeks after your planned date of leaving the cult.

social life

let me start with this: your friends from before are your greatest asset. they do not hate you. they will believe you. chances are higher than not that they saw the warning signs before you ever did. i can guarantee you a vast majority of them have been waiting for a phone call from you since the day you joined saying that you planned on leaving.

if your family was not abusive, toxic, manipulative, or connected in any way to your cult, they can also be an asset. however, tread carefully with this. you don't want to hop out of the fire and into the frying pan, so to speak. moving out of a commune and back into an abusive parent's house can cause more trauma in the long run.

if there is any sphere where you can connect with people that your cult does not have access to, utilize it. i found friends online, at work, and through mutual friends of people i had met before i joined the cult. even if you work with other cult members, if there are any non-members in your workplace, you can still make an effort to befriend them. if questioned by your cult, you're just trying to convert them.

being friends with someone doesn't mean you have to confess every detail of your plan to leave. you don't even have to mention your plans. friends can be a safety net even if they don't know what you're going through. choose carefully who to trust, but don't shut everyone out either.

housing

if you live with your cult, finding housing is an immediate priority.

the biggest mistake i ever made was my refusal to couch surf for fear of being kicked out or "becoming a burden."

your friends aren't nearly as troubled by you as your cult would have you believe. in fact, to this day, if a member of the cult i left were to come to my door asking for refuge, i would open my home to them without a question. your friends would rather see you on their couch or in their spare bedroom for a month than ever watch you go back to the place you left.

the first time i ever left my cult, i went back because i feared i was burdening the friend i was staying with. it wasn't until she called me sobbing that i finally realized that i wasn't the burden; my absence was the burden. taking up space is not a crime. no matter how much the cult tells you otherwise.

if you can't immediately find an apartment due to credit issues, age, income thresholds, etc, extended stay hotels are an option if you have no friends to stay with. the price ends up being equivalent to the cost of room & bills at an apartment anyways. this is a temporary option, during which you can take the following (vaguely unethical but often necessary) measures to hopefully secure a more permanent situation:

find a friend who's good at photoshop and invent some pay statements. [if possible, try to make them from scratch based off an existing pay stub of yours. landlords, especially of large apartment complex chains, recognize the common templates.]

you might have better luck getting approved [and/or getting away with forged paystubs] at a smaller apartment complex, specifically the ones you can't find on google. you may have to drive around and physically look for these complexes.

look up second-chance apartments

apply for any and all government aid you may be eligible for

work overtime or a second job to make your pay stubs appear greater. this is a temporary measure only; stressful, but worthwhile in the long run.

look on roommate-finding websites! a lot of people won't require credit checks, formalities, etc. a horrible roommate is still generally less of a pain in the ass than, oh, i don't know, 12 horrible roommates who are watching your every move and reporting back to the people in charge.

look for subleasing situations on websites like Craigslist as a last resort. take precautions, don't meet anyone alone, etc.

https://www.apartments.com/ ^here's the website i used to find my apartment before i left. it has a lot of good filters. delete your browsing history afterwards.

if you don't live with your cult, the moment you separate, you should file and enforce a restraining order if you feel even the slightest bit comfortable doing so and consider changing apartments within your unit, moving houses if feasible, etc. invest in an alarm system, a vicious-looking animal, a deadbolt, all the security measures you would take if you were being stalked. which brings us to our next point.

privacy

if they're monitoring your bank accounts, open another one in secret if possible or keep as much money as you can on a Pay-pal card, Visa card, etc. funnel as much money as you can into these accounts without arousing suspicion. the moment you leave, immediately cancel any account they may have access to and withdraw all money from it.

keep any incriminating items in your bra and/or undergarments. at all times. this includes vital documents [social security card, birth certificate, etc.], cash that you're hoarding without their knowledge [gross but necessary, keep it in a ziploc and sanitize it with a lysol wipe], etc.

have all mail that would reveal your escape plans sent to non-member friends or a P.O. box.

the day you leave, inform HR at work that your presence in the building should not be disclosed to anyone. change shifts if you can, park your vehicle elsewhere and uber from close parking lots to your building, or take steps to make your vehicle unrecognizable (remove telltale stickers, add new stickers with topics you have no interest in, add new rearview mirror hangy thingies, even remove seat or steering wheel covers if you have to. they might remember your license plate, but at very least your car wouldn't be initially recognizable.

if they have access to your location, do not turn this off until the moment you leave. when you do, do so quickly and on every possible platform. this should coincide with password changes for any account that can be used to trace you (email, Google location history, maps, apple/icloud, Find my IPhone, Life360, Airtags, bank accounts [use cash until the account is cancelled if they know about it], vehicle GPS)

if you have an IPhone, you will automatically be alerted if an unfamiliar Airtag is following your location. If you have an Android device, download "Airguard" or a similar app which will serve the same purpose. at very least, this will give you peace of mind.

a burner phone is an absolute necessity. you can find them at walmart and the combined cost of the phone and prepaid card is usually less than $100 [USD].

clear your browser history. change contact names of all non-member contacts to the name of someone you're in the cult with and delete the texts. people hardly ever check phone numbers if the contact name isn't suspicious to begin with. add parentheses beside contact names with [deceptive] information about who they are.

example: i had a non-member friend saved as "Karen (Boss at Amazon)" in my phone. that way if i got a call, i could play it off as a work call and step away.

packing/preparing to leave

lie and tell them you're organizing things. this is a GREAT excuse to have everything you own in pre-packed storage bins. under the bed is a good location to keep things. the less you act like you're trying to hide what you're doing, the better.

keep clothes on hangers for easy access. when you're packing to leave [presuming you can do so in secret], just grab them off the hangers and shove them into trash bags. don't worry about neat. just find a place to put shit and haul ass.

it's okay to steal shit but don't steal anything valuable at all or anything terribly noticeable. the last thing you want is them having evidence for legal recourse against you.

if there's food, take food. i lived off a tupperware full of chicken salad i stole from the cult for a solid 4 days. bring medicine with you regardless of whether or not you "have a good immune system". even if you don't think you'll need it, you'll need it, i promise.

it's better to leave everything and get out with your freedom than take all you own and get caught. that being said, if you have a feasible way of taking everything, do that. the last thing you want is to be so financially fucked that you feel like your only hope is to go back to them. [it is NOT.]

if you need to relay information to a non-member contact in a safe and private manner while with people, have them call you and pretend to be a business. for example, i had my secret debit card mailed to a friend, and i had her call me pretending to be the bank and read me off the number so i could put it in my apple pay. this could also work as far as pretending to talk to your boss or coworker [i.e. "Yes, I can take that shift starting at 10am" = "Yes, I will meet you at X location at 10am", etc.]

playing it off/excuses to be gone for apartment hunting or other leaving-related matters

doctors' appointments

[a minor medical issue or procedure can be a really good way to get out repeatedly if your cult allows access to medical care. i only know this because i had a real, diagnosed ovarian cyst but i proceeded to make up several appointments for it that were actually apartment complex visits, so.]

illness

[make this season-appropriate and believable. flu in winter and spring and late fall only. don't do COVID unless you can realistically forge a rapid test and trust that they won't make you prove it with a PCR. i don't advocate lying in any other circumstance, but once again, this is not an ethics class. cults play dirty, so can we.

promotion at work/added responsibility

[only works for so long before they try to make you quit the job, but it can make a good excuse in the interim]

car troubles

[visits "to the mechanic"=time out of the house. "car overheated/flat tire/locked out of my car/lost my keys"=good excuse for being late to events/being gone longer than expected]

ill family member

can give you two or three days to "be out of town" if needed, and/or time to go "see them in the hospital" or "care for them" over the course of a few weeks, especially for a chronic issue or an injury that would render them unable to walk and thus in need of consistent care.

[no, this will not bring a curse on your family or "manifest itself," that's magical thinking. if you argue about this in my notes on a post meant for cult escapees who are already struggling with religious trauma i'm reporting you <3]

leaving

pretending to be "late" to a church service is a good tactic if the services aren't held in the same area as where you're living. i told them i was running late from work and in reality i was at the commune house away from the service throwing all my shit in my car.

the second time, they had already caught onto that trick and started driving me to services directly so i wouldn't have a chance to leave. if this is the case for you, 3am is generally a great time to leave. usually night owls go to bed around 2am and early risers get up around 6am, so 3am leaves you with 3 hours to gtfo and an hour of buffer in case anyone stayed up late.

i was living in a room with four other women, so i had to be very, very skilled as far as not waking anyone goes. think critically about your roommates' sleep habits if this is the case for you in your cult. i made sure to walk closer to the bed of the heavy sleeper.

walk barefoot if taking the "middle of the night escape" approach. even if it's cold. if there's snow, you may have to keep your shoes by the front door/window you're escaping from if you're having to make several trips back and forth. wear non-slip socks if you must wear socks. if the socks get wet, take them off. a great way to attract attention is by leaving footprints everywhere, or by busting your ass and getting caught because a lamp broke.

a great excuse for being up late to leave is that you're feeling sick to your stomach and need to be close to the bathroom. fake a v*miting episode if you have to.

don't leave letters. don't send goodbye texts. leave some stuff behind if you can, especially blankets and the like to make it look less empty in your living space. my cult didn't even realize i was gone until 12 hours after i left because they thought i'd just gone to work. that's 12 hours of time where i wasn't being looked for, which made me a whole lot harder to find.

block EVERYONE. as soon as you possibly can. once you're out of the direct cult location, pull off into a safe place where you won't be immediately found and block anyone who is directly there or who could be persuaded into attempting to contact you on their behalf.

after leaving

try not to be alone, if you can help it. now's not the time for self-work. if you know loneliness might trigger the desire to go back, don't get lonely. hang out with friends all the time, go to clubs [responsibly and safely], take extra shifts at work if you can. try to hang out with your coworkers, i think like 80% of my friends back then were people i worked with. they might not be the best friends you ever had, but this isn't about making forever connections. it's about not going insane from loneliness.

online friends are also great! i had/have quite a few who helped me immensely in the months after i left. if you're the kind of person to stay up late when none of your other friends irl are awake, online friends with opposite time schedules are *chefs kiss* lovely. join discord servers for your interests if you aren't sure where to start with, but some discord servers can be toxic asf so don't be afraid to abandon a groupchat if it's too much.

don't pick up habits if you can help it. one habit turns into a million, especially when you're this vulnerable. i smoked a single cigarette as an act of rebellion and two years later my nicotine addiction can be directly traced back to me self-medicating my anxiety.

that being said. and i am toeing the line heavily between realistic and ethical here. but. if i had to choose between staying in the cult or having a nicotine addiction, i'd choose the addiction. i can break an addiction without having to change my account and routing number, soooo. yeah. take that as you will.

post-cult agoraphobia is real. don't feel guilty if it's hard to leave the house at first. grocery delivery is an option. grocery pickup is an option. uber eats is a thing that exists. you'll find your safe places & start to feel less threatened, over time.

idk if this will help anyone else, but i personally benefitted greatly from making a comprehensive list of shit they told me not to do and doing it anyways. please do not endanger yourself in this process, but. fuck it! i dyed my hair purple. i did a shitty job, but it made me happy. i kissed an embarrassing number of people. i came out as a lesbian. i adopted a cat. i wrote a book. i found myself through losing the pieces of the cult until the pieces of me filed in and took their place.

if you can help it, try to avoid the physical location or even the city the cult is located in for awhile. i understand the morbid urge to keep visiting but don't, if you can help it.

nostalgia is a BITCH and a LIAR. that cult leader was not your replacement mother, she is a bitch. the other cult members are not your brothers and sisters, they are traumatized brainwashed individuals. don't try to save them, either. if they reach out to you for help that's one thing but now's not the time to be a martyr.

most importantly: breathe. i used to physically look at a clock and talk myself through every minute on the very bad nights. just "one more minute. i can survive one more minute." it's fun to watch it grow to two minutes, then five, then an hour, and eventually you realize you're not counting your survival in increments anymore, and then one day you realize you're thriving. but be nice to yourself in the interim. it's been two years for me and i just now don't feel like i'm drowning anymore.

please reach out if you need more advice/someone to talk to. you don't have to do this alone. i believe in you and you're gonna get out and stay out.

you will survive this. i promise.

[crowtrobotx]

Idk man. Having been on both sides of the aisle, I just think the hiring process is designed to be as miserable as possible. We posted two positions for hire at work on Monday and we got 80+ applications overnight. (Bear in mind: I manage a relatively small local nonprofit.) And it's like... it's pretty much JUST me that has to go through all these. And while I'm sure larger companies have more staff and resources to dedicate to reviewing these folks, it doesn't change the fact that if you want to give everyone an equal shot you have to read their resume, their cover letter, visit any websites/portfolios/etc they've linked... it took me four hours to go through 20 this morning. All the while there's people calling in and emailing asking me if we've made any decisions yet and it's like! The posting was put up two days ago! Slow down! But I get it. Especially because we focus on art here and for a lot of people working in the arts is a dream come true. Not to mention the job market is abysmal right now. But readers, my lord - the quality of applications is all over the place. As brutal as it is especially as a chronically ill person with immense lifelong anxiety problems, when I was in college someone told me "you will never be able to chill out and prioritize yourself and do what you want because you are 100% replaceable to every employer and they do not care what your sob story is." I used to (and still think) that's cruel, and I try to be a flexible and empathetic manager to my reports, but I'm finding that well to be largely empty with all these applicants in this particular process and I don't like that it kind of has to be that way because we live in hell! It blows and I wish it were different but if you're applying with a five year work gap with nothing to explain it beyond "the vibes were not right" you are just never going to win against folks who were capitalism's definition of productive. I hate it so much and I don't know how you begin to come back from it if no one will hire you. Including me, apparently. Everyone is walking away from this process feeling bad.

[about27th]

job hunt tipssssss (and lessons learnt..)

tailor your resume to each position you apply

(1) always make your employers' job easier

include only the relevant experience and keep the descriptions straightforward.. recruiters are basically just ticking boxes, make it easy for them to do so or expect them to bin your CV after a quick glance

(2) have too many part-time/work gaps?

i highly recommend using a skill-based CV than a chronological CV for this case; not only is it waaaaaaaaaay easier to prepare but also makes your experience look more put-together since you can mix & match your relevant skills.. give it a shot if you've inconsistent work history or want to have a career change; i should mention it's also a game changer for people whom English isn't the first language

(3) review your cover letter before heading to an interview

i mean you've already explained why you're a great fit for the job in the application, just take advantage of that effort and reiterate everything during the interview --- preparation done!

dont use the same answer for interviews

.. it'll definitely make you come across as average

there are 3 key and frequently asked questions you should be ready for:

(1) tell me about yourself

start with a basic introduction, followed by your previous work experience (again, making them relevant to the job) and wrap up with a glimpse of your personality -- for instance, say something like.. I see myself as an ambitious and self-motivated person (.. and how these qualities fit the job profile!)

(2) what do you know about us/ why do you want to work for us

always research the company; mention its values or services, and how they resonate with you

(3) what can you offer us/ why do you think you suit this job

highlight how your experience aligns with the job requirements; this demonstrates your dedication and preparation.. and also shows the employer what they can expect from you

i hate interviews (who doesnt?).. i believe many of us are very qualified for jobs we're interested in but often struggle to demonstrate our competence effectively; my way to make the process less agitating is to view it as a cool opportunity for employers to learn about us: it's not an exam.. rather, it's a level playing field where two or more strangers come together to mutually explore each other.

this is your chance (after putting so much effort into preparing the application) to shine and let them know you're the perfect fit for the job they're offering!

never trust the reaction of the interviewer!

some interviewers acted super affirmative to each of my responses, making me feel like i was nailing the interview.. but then i ended up getting no job; i understand the intention is to encourage interviewees during the process, but pls dont take them too seriously and get carried away

stay focused and humble instead

always reflect after each experience (exactly what i'm doing now)

it's important to reflect on your performance and seek improvement for future applications

i always discover areas that could be done better while preparing for new job applications, even though i felt that i'd already given my best for the last one

the competition is fierce but dont worry about competing with others (what you cant control); instead, concentrate on what you can control --- demonstrating how you're the best candidate!

always put yourself in your employer's shoes and do the homework; focus on the good and keep trying, one day all your hard work will pay off and get the job you deserve

.

(i regret so much that i didnt perform better during my interview🥲i dont want the same to happen to you, pls take my tips and prepare as much as you cn💔)

.

quick update - i actually ended up getting the job🤘

if someone like me, who struggles with English, can get a job in the UK after all the challenges, you can land the job you want too. trust the process - I believe in you!

[kittyandco]

i actually have no idea what to do right now [more info and an insight into how i've been feeling lately under the cut].

i've been trying to find a job for almost 10 months. i'm tired of this. i'm tired of slogging through applications and unfair job descriptions, changing my resume for the 50th time (or not and just mass applying), writing new cover letters (or not and just using the same one), researching companies to prepare for interviews for hours at a time, scrutinizing my every move and breath because i know that they're already doing it and it still isn't good enough. i'm almost 250 applications deep. many interviews that never amount to anything. it feels like i'm running out of jobs to even apply for. [trying to move beyond retail but even those are hit-or-miss] thinking about job applications and employment is basically a compulsion at this point and i WISH i could get it out of my head.

i am bored beyond belief. i hate how much time i've had to fill with just scrolling my dash or my youtube home feed when it's the same stuff on it over and over and over and not even deciding on anything to read/watch. how much time i've spend just... laying there. there have been times where it's just so hard to take care of myself, where i don't have much of anything motivating me.

my life has amounted to absolutely nothing (i know that isn't TRUE but it feels like it right now); i won't even reach any semblance of independence that i so desperately need anytime soon. i thought i could. i really thought i could succeed. i can't seem to move forward in any way at all. my two options are standing still or moving backwards. idk what to do. i've tried everything i can think of

it's gotten to the point where i'm either angry, sad, uncomfortable, or guilty all the time and i hate it so much. the only time i don't feel that way is when i'm working on my personal projects, reading, or hanging out with my friends. that can only take me so far, too. because sometimes, especially with the reading and personal projects, it feels like an obligation to get my mind off stuff, rather than what i want to do. i just feel trapped in a small, small world.

i've just gone nonverbal for the past few hours. i can't even look my parent (the one who isn't constantly criticizing literally everything i do on top of everything going on and knowing how i've been feeling) in the face and say hello. i try. very hard. to not seem hopeless. but this happens a lot. i'm so irritated i just want to be ALONE for ONCE. i don't want to answer to anyone. i'm ready to just get away. i'm just so beaten down

i have editing and extensive writing experience so i've been thinking about opening paid requests to edit essays or other types of writing, or even fic commissions, but i know that it isn't even going to go anywhere. all anyone cares about is art anyway and i stopped posting my writing here long ago because of that. so i probably won't even bother

please don't comment with advice or questions about job applications or anything of the sort. no "something will come along" please... it's just so painful to hear now. when i say i've heard it all, TRUST ME. i do not want to hear it.

anyway i just wanted to get this out where others could see it but not in a one-on-one conversation, and not in the private pages of my journal. my journal is full of stuff just like this, and it makes me feel worse just continuing to fill it with spiraling of the same same same same same same because nothing ever changes for me

and finally, if one of you is going through the same thing, take solace. you aren't alone. you are loved despite how you feel