#I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS.
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"But...I understood then that he was extremely close to me at such a deep level...
'What is important?
'What are we willing to do to protect it?'
That is why, after all was said and done, I wanted to share my tomorrows with him.
Don't you agree, Wolfwood?"
#ARE U FUCKING DKJKNHDKFJNH#GRAHHHHHHHHHHHH#bro#NDHDKNHKDFJNHKDFJNH#I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS.#THAT I CANT ARTICULATE#SO HERES JSUT A BIG ASS POST OF PANELS THAT MAKE ME CLIMB UP THE WALLS#yeaj.#see i knew wolfwood died and i knew HOW but jesus the fucking buildup#at least wolfwood died fulfilling his purpose right? he brought back livio and saving the orphanage he gets to go home at least in spirit#i saw someone saw on here that wolfwood is not just doomed by the narrative but also mourned by it and yeah...that pretty much sums it up#GAWDDDD AND#how in the chapters leading up to this wolfwood talks about how much vash's beliefs have changed him#and how he believes vash is the one person who could stop knives and save everything#and then as wolfwood is dying...vash begins to pray to whatever god is listening to save wolfwood and give them one last tomorrow#aheem aheem i cant think abt how much they changed each other without getting sad#trigun#trigun maximum#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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dick grayson in fanon: sweet silly older brother, pretty but stupid, favourite child, happy robin, basically batman 2.0 but a nice person, his brothers are more skilled and could outpace him but they love him anyways, goody-two-shoes, good relationship with batman, responsible eldest child, mentally stable and supportive
dick grayson in canon:
became robin so he wouldnt commit first degree murder
like all of his appearances young justice season 1 are about how hes a maniac and a genius
leader and strategist of the teen titans
actually Murdered the joker
considered an equal by the worlds most dangerous and deadly mercenary
was literally fired by batman and only really continued working w him because of jason and babs
managed to keep up with angsty new-to-the-job batman
has had so many arguments with bruce its a miracle he hasnt cut him off forever (hes tried though)
can take down the entire teen titans if he wanted despite being the only one of them with no superpowers/abilities
was the definition of angsty teenager
inherits his insane paranoia from bruce
a thread away from breaking the no-kill rule, give him a rest
hes literally feral guys i mean cmon
#can you tell that i really love teen titans 2003#dick grayson#i have so many emotions for this guy#batfam#batman#nightwing#he means so much to me#call nightwing incapable and i will break your knees#nobody understands me#angsty emoji#i needed to rant quickly
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feed your partner a salamander
#i have Very Many emotions in me right now and im coping by humour#arcane#arcane spoilers#and thinking about old viktor feeding jayce salamanders is somehow delightfully absurd in all this#“yeah#youre doing so fine crawling out of that hole keep going have a treat“#just for funsies tho ofc ofc#jayvik#jayce#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#jayce arcane#arcane season 2#arcane memes
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill#she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever#you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept#AND SHES A LAWYER#THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES#I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES#IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE#AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING#WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME#ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO#PLEASE CAPCOM#I LOV E HER PLEASE#GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS#OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX#omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool#proper ghost trick moment#THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now#can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me#ace attorney#athena cykes#my art#have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha
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thinking about jeremy hitting rock bottom his freshman year, losing so much in one disastrous night, the repercussions of which would continue to haunt him for years. thinking about jeremy spiralling so bad cody said they “really thought we were going to lose him for a while there.” cat saying the right therapist can be “life changing”, using jeremy as an example. thinking about how bad jeremy’s crash out must have been, understandably; thinking about his family continuing to blame him for noah’s death—from the coldness of annalise, to the outright antagonism of bryson, to joshua ignoring him for years. the wilshires doing everything in their power to cover up what happened at the banquet rather than lending an ounce of support to a boy who had lost his brother in terrible circumstances, because jeremy was there, because it was so much easier to blame him for all of it. coldblooded, if you ask me. jeremy needed help, not damage control.
thinking about jeremy having probably the worst year of his life, having the opposite of emotional support from his family, and still somehow coming out of it a better person. thinking of all the work he put in to be better and succeeding—i’d rather die than ever be that person again. believe me. despite the hostility of his family system, despite being blamed for the fallout, despite the guilt and heartbreak that “nearly destroyed him”. still jeremy managed to build a new life for himself out of the wreckage, going so far as to be captain of the trojans, with a team who respect and admire him. still he managed to come out of it with such a capacity for kindness and goodness and lifting the people around him up.
thinking about jeremy continuing to be the human embodiment of sunshine despite living in such a cold home that was never forgiving or warm to him. jeremy knox, you will always be loved by me.
#jeremy knox#the golden raven#the golden raven spoilers#aftg#i have so much to say about this boy. like on the one hand his family's connections def helped & he was protected in many ways#yet at the same time any support in the EMOTIONAL sense which he really would have needed was so deeply lacking#like it wasn't even a neutral thing where they were just neglectful & all obviously grieving. no – they all actively blamed him & still do#and instead of offering any support whatsoever jeremy was sent off to rehab to grieve and get through it by himself#and you can see how he still blames himself for it. he's still doing everything to help his family#while they treat him like a waste of space & yeah it makes so sad and frustrated!!!! but yeah.#cody's line talking to jean stopped me cold like FUCK. i can't even imagine how bad it must've been to warrant that comment#anyway…jeremy knox i love u.#all for the game#tgr spoilers#tgr
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mmm not to be a solasmancer on main but im thinking about those few days after the Cole debacle if a solavellan Inquisitor encourages him to remain a spirit. just. Solas, watching her fret so much in the aftermath, terrified that she may have taken someone's choice away, worried that she influenced what Cole wanted somehow, watching her sheer relief and unbridled joy after Cole's, free and light and brimming with happy incredulity, "but you didn’t change, didn’t make me change. Thank you". He watches her, and thinks of Mythal. Thinks of devotion, and abuse. Regret. Thinks of Cole, and spirits and Wisdom and Pride- Thinks, wistfully, achingly, "in her hands, I might have been safe".
#i know the fandom (myself included) had already pretty solidly agreed on the Was a Spirit until Mythal made him an Elvhen thing#but having the canon confirmation and the heartbreaking dialog about it really just#makes a lot of Solas' past little moments in dai so much more poignant#i already have SO many emotions about the Spirit Cole path#like the follow up scene makes me cry almost every time and now!??#da:v#datv#da:v spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#dragon age veilguard#dragon age veilguard spoilers#solas#solavellan#cole dai#ugh
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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I'm in many leftist spaces and I've seen many goyim in these spaces complaining about how often jews talk about leftist antisemitism.
The thing is that this is the consequence of claiming to be advocates or in support of another group of people - when you ostensibly prove you aren't for us, we're going to be harsher than we are to people who never pretended in the first place.
For an analogy, here's a similar situation: I am harsher toward "pro-trans" people who are transphobic than I am to people who are not. This is because the pro-trans person told me they were better than that. I am already aware that the anti-trans person is going to be anti-trans. Their anti-transness is self-evident. What isn't self-evident is a person who claims to be pro-trans and then proves otherwise.
This post is addressed toward leftist spaces because I occupy these spaces the most. It makes me wonder just how safe I am in these spaces when leftist begrudgingly acknowledge that this conversation keeps happening. I feel like a lot of leftists treat those of us who open these conversations like we're an "I left the left" rightist when... Most of us are still in leftist spaces. We have not left the left and through pretending we have, you absolve yourself the feeling of responsibility.
#jumblr#jewish politics#leftist antisemitism#personal thoughts tag#and personally... if i wasn't a leftist i wouldn't bother talking about the antisemetism in these spaces. because i wouldn't care.#and i wouldn't care this much because i wouldn't be a leftist#i've been hesitant to make this post but i think about this a lot. because i care about what many leftists claim to fight for#i need to make it clear that i have never left the left. so i will continue to be harsh to it#look maybe it's the autism or whatever but i am more inclined to criticize and critique things i actually CARE about#if i don't criticize something that means i don't think it's worthy enough to think about deeply#that's why i could criticize america from sun up to sun down and still not be done ranting#and that's because i care enough about this place to actually form opinions about it. i have emotional investment in it. same with the left
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i'm doing a bunch of drawings of the main 4 (sometimes also alluka) camping in lukso province like slightly post-canon.... these are the ones that didn't really require much emotional sincerity to make lol (the other ones are hopefully gonna get finished later)
#leopika#killugon#gon freecss#killua zoldyck#kurapika#leorio paladiknight#alluka zoldyck#ftm kurapika#hxh#art#it feels SO weird putting this many tags on something. self conscious. not used to having more than like 2 different guys in one thing#i Will draw kurapika having some sort of complex emotions here but first. gotta draw him kissin' apparently#the Cool Rock was meant to be an opalized ammonite with quartz growing on it. but i never drew it big enough to make it look actually cool#ah.... i made leorio's sleeves not rolled up in one panel... pounding my fists on the floor
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when the earth is in blossom and the ryebird sings / when the trees are full of leaves and the winter sleeps / when it's Midyear and its endless golden fields
skyrim ocs Reino (mine) & Ruis (@artharakka)
#tes#elder scrolls#skyrim#khajiit#oc: reino#oc: ruis @artharakka#some style testing again wanted to do sth loose and chill#long time no they..#been playing their reruns lately and having feels#they live at honeyside in riften and it's the most nostalgic place fr.... i get hit by so many emotions every time just opening the doors#the desc. is a vague and tes-ified translation of the song hääkellot by kuunkuiskaajat#and the pic itself is obv inspired. u all know :]
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"Starry-Eyed" by Roller Derby has done something irreversible to me
#sebaciel#kuroshitsuji#black butler#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#my art#sketch#it's an old piece and I love it dearly#I used to have so much passion for my works it saddens me that now I can't seem to feel the same way about many of them#in a way that they don't evoke as much emotion in me#but this one definitely still does it for me
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chat how are we feeling
#i am not feelign good personally. so many emotions . oh my fucking god i love sanford so much i have to die#(im being dramatic btw. so happy abt this episode but its currently manifestign as me staring into space like a detective on a cold case)#oh my god. oh my GOD#madness combat#madness combat 12#madness combat 12 spoilers#sanford madness combat#mc sanford#deimos madness combat#mc deimos#sanmos#I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE KRINKELS SAID “LOVE WINS” AFTER ALL THAT. IM GOING FUCKGIN INSANE OVER THAT. MY FUCKIGN GOD. CHRIST#my art#simmons likes to draw
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small world
#wanted to do a sort of inverse to small world's original vibe. i want to showcase just how little silver's world has been till now#silver didn't visit the castle. he didn't go to primary school. he lived in the middle of nowhere. i dont think he went out into BV much#so his entire world prior to NRC was roughly 8 people. only diasom and sebek's family. homeschooled KING it makes me emotional#NRC mustve been such a culture shock. so many people from so many places and so much new to experience!!! i love him!!!#i wanted to do like a companion piece of a flat plane and buildings from all over TW to show the rest of the world but not enough energy#these geometric buildings are ANNOYING theyre satisfying as finished sets but i am NOT drawing more of them#i send you all nothing but love. silver sweep. ive been very lucky to experience such kindness in my 2.5 yrs here i cant wait to draw more#rumbling like a car. id like to draw his lab vignette again. its my fav story. i want to draw a beyootiful tapestry-style piece. i . sighs#twst is so ripe for artistic experimentation ive never been so inspired by a piece of media. i want to draw everything for my boy#twst#twst silver#twstファンアート#silver vanrouge#suntails#also something w intentional complimentary colors. shocking ik but i dont think ive done one of those for twst itd be tasty#i have an idea for one w him containing his dream world a lil abstractly. SIGHS. im a silver girlie first and Anything else second#im at the point where i cant see myself drawing twst pieces without him in it. its been almost a year since a non-silver piece#AND I FORGOT I HAVE TO DRAW AT LEAST ONE BDAY PIECE!!! i already have a comp idea for one. shaking like a LEAF
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