#I HAVE SO MANY DMS ILL GET BACK TO THEM PROMISE. BUT FOR NOW

[tiredmamaissy]

hey 👋

i think this is the longest i've been gone. i missed you all a lot. i've been writing this entire time, and wanted to finish the last (for now, it’s definitely not completed) two chapters of the ralak series before officially coming back. i didn't want to come back without some sort of peace offering (lol how could i come back empty handed?) and i don’t want to leave you guys hanging again, gotta give some sort of closure to this series!

i'm almost finished, but i felt like i needed to come on here and explain myself.

i've been really struggling with my mental lately. it's just been pretty bad, to be frank. and when i get like this, i find it extremely difficult to juggle all that life entails, and will typically neglect certain aspects of it just to get by. unfortunately, this, and my social life, have taken the biggest hit. i find it hard to keep in touch regularly with friends, and i end up just retreating into my shell. motivation becomes little, or nothing at all.

i don't want to go into too much detail, but i've found myself between a rock and a hard place. i don't feel like i have many options in my current situation. i feel trapped. i suppose i've felt this way for the past few years, but it's just been pretty bad recently. issy has been an escape for me. i created a ‘new’ identity, one that i could unapologetically be myself. no face to the name type of thing. i fell in love with pandora, yearning to go there. and suddenly, my ideal world--my ideal everything was at my fingertips.

when i first started, the feeling of regaining my identity after so many years was exhilarating. i put many, many things on the back burner to immerse myself into this feeling and this world. quicker meals, shorter showers, later bedtimes. i did any and everything to dedicate as much time as i could muster up to hold onto this new identity. i could feel myself becoming happier, slipping back into who i was before i lost her.

but life just happens. you know? it continued, and it did so ten-fold. it was one thing after the next, and soon my plate was so full that i had to take something off of it. i guess i'm used to choosing myself to neglect first, so i told myself i'd put this off until i could get through this and then come back. so i did, and i came back. then life happened again. so i left, and came back.

but this time around life hit me hard. i felt like i was playing a game on the hardest difficulty, with a half a life, no pauses, and no way to exit safely. i'm still playing that game, but i've realised that i should really try to make the most of it. so i've been writing in what time i have. it's been one of my biggest escapes and it makes me happy that i can share it, and see that others enjoy what my silly brain comes up with.

i'm ready to come back, but i'm honestly still really overwhelmed with life. i really, really don't want to disappoint anyone…and i can't promise that i won't leave again anytime soon. i never want to leave. and honestly, i don't think i'll ever really leave for good. i will forever love avatar, and all that it’s done for me for the past 14 years. i guess i’m just trying to say… thank you all for your patience and love.

okidoki, let me stop here while i can lol.

ill be posting the chapters as soon as i'm done with them, ofc. i love you guys!! i’m heading to bed and will try to clear out my inbox and dm’s asap

-issy 💜

[hearteyespierce]

tl;dr — unemployment woes, job hunting and existing as a disabled person sucks. i am open for art commissions and a post is coming soon, but feel free to dm me if you are interested! + status of my latest queer pulp novel cover redraw wip at the end as tax

being unemployed in 2024/2025 sucks, the job market is the worst for workers it’s ever been. i’ve applied to hundreds of jobs the last several months and i even do what all the recruiters on linked in say you need to do of “make a custom tailored resume and cover letter for every job you apply for 😇”/threat.

i make sure i use as many keywords from the job descriptions as possible and even run my resumes/cover letters through ATS scanners and always get around a ~90%+ match to the job description (what is considered a “great” score is apparently 80-85%), and still nothing! My applications are better than they’ve ever been but never has even getting an interview been so difficult.

i applied to a job that i have ten years of experience for in that exact role and they didn’t even want to talk to me — I got a form rejection email. That one was devastating.

and yeah, literally the worst part of all of this is that i’ve been forced to actually use linkedin as an actual social media app instead of just slapping my resume up there and ignoring it as god intended. every day i go online and see the worst takes of all time. i have found some genuinely good people and good opportunities (really hoping the one i’m pursuing right now, it would be so amazing and feel like a gift tbh to be offered this job) but the whole unemployment grind is so soul crushing.

i’ve barely had time to talk to any one who isn’t my partner who lives with me bc i’m using all my battery to try to find a job and try to build a website + portfolio for my art bc unemployment runs out next month so if something doesn’t work out i’m going to need to figure out something. i already lost my health insurance and can’t afford marketplace so i’m just rawdogging it rn as a disabled/chronically ill person, so that’s fun 🙃

but yeah, if you read this far, i am open for commissions — i have a post ready to go, I just need to wait a few days to post it publicly bc one of the examples on it is a surprise gift I did for someone and it’s in the mail to them right now. but if you’re interested, dm me or email killerxqueer@gmail.com and I’ll send you the graphics/info!

and, as promised: remember this pulp cover that was making the rounds LAST january?? yeah i sketched this back then and then. never finished it 😅 but i started painting it a day or two ago and i’m so thrilled with how it’s coming out!

[glamorousnightmares]

TW: g0re art, f3t1ish art, mental illness

Hello everyone, it's been a while since I've made a sincere post and really been on here. I apologize to my online friends who I feel like I've abandoned, my irl life has gotten quite busy.

It's taken me too long to make a post about this but I think it's time to finally face my fear and admit to somethings I never even wanted to think about again. No one made any callouts or did anything to scare me into this, I just want to rid myself of feeling so guilty about the things I've done. It isn't easy to come on here and talk about it, but I need to address what I've done so that I won't hide it any longer than I have. All of everything i talk about is public and I'm mixed on if i will take it down just so I can be reminded of who I was before and to never, ever return to anything like it again.

A few years back, 2021 I think, I got on Tumblr for the very first time. I was not ready for anything like this and I should have waited until I got right in the head space to get on a platform like this. Before then, I had a discord, which I spewed so many words I no longer agree with or stand by. I have changed and grown over the years, almost a new person but with the scars of my past always leaning over me. I didn't fully understand what I was talking about or what I said. To be clear, it wasn't a slur or something, it was a really shitty take on something I thought was right but now I see is severly fucked up. I no longer stand by what i said. I won't get into the details, but if you want them just dm me and ask. If nothing else, this is a callout to myself and who I was before.

Now the worst part and what still haunts me to this day. (To preface, this is where the tw starts, tread carefully.) When I first got my tumblr, I didn't know the dangers of the internet fully. I didn't think about any actions I did, I just wanted to be seen. I will be blunt, I reblogged g0re art and f3tish gore art because of multiple reasons. (None of which are right don't get me wrong)

1. I was not and will never EVER be attracted to anything like that, it was NOT a f3t1sh thing, my brain was just attached to it because of some fucked up things of my past. I won't get specific, that's just what I wanted to see and reblog at the time. I've blocked out a lot of it to be honest, so i don't remember some of why I looked at/ shared such horrible images. Thinking about it now makes me sick and I want nothing more than to bring to light what I've done and seen so that no one will use something like this against me or hurt others with it. It was a sort of "comfort the disturbed, disturb the comforted" type thing.

2. It would shock those I talked to and make me look "insane" and "crazy" so I could be different. I hate those people now and I refuse to ever be like that again, and remembering who I was and how it affected others makes me steer clear of ever even considering being like it again. G0re art and f3t1sh g0re art will never ever be allowed on my blog or anywhere near it again. I wish I could go back and erase all of it, and I have done my best to do so. If you see anything like that, please for the love of God don't interact with it. If you are hurting to the point where you feel as if you need to or are hurting others, please seek help. You are not alone and there is always a brighter day. If you are thinking about doing anything like what any of those pictures showed, please tell someone close to you and do not hurt yourself or anyone around you. Someone will always listen and cares about you, I promise.

Another thing was the way I treated others back then was shitty, and while I had so much fun with everyone that I met, talked to, or just had a few interactions with, I hold all of them incredibly close to my heart. I will try to interact on here more and do my best to be a better person with strong morals and the best intentions.

Saying all of this leads me to one thing I should have said more back then; I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was like that and how I treated others. I'm sorry I had to put all of you through that just because of things going on in my own life. You all deserved better and I needed to be better.

Living with what I've done, said, and shown had been tough, I'm not going to lie. I'm not trying to make it a sob story, I'm just being honest. But it was important to who I am today and what it makes me as a person. Was it right? No, it never will be no matter how much I try to justify it. But learning from it and taking away the lessons is more important than anything. I hope this could clear some air and shine light on who I was so that I will never become like that again, hurting others and only showing and being the worst the world has to offer. Making not the world, but at least some corner of it brighter and better than It was will be my main goal now. I no longer want to be hurtful, I want to help those who need it. If there is one thing I will strive for, it is to be better.

With love and high hopes,

-Glam☆

[andrakeflare]

hi im andrake

she/her. so many different flavours of mental illnesses i couldn't even tell you them all. i consume fanfic at a disgustingly fast pace (thank you speed reading skills)

i've been on this beloved hellsite for around a decade now. and i'm only now finally getting around to updating my blog to be something something

✨aesthetic✨

and actually like a blog and not just a hole where i hoard all the things i like.

mutuals feel free to dm me to chat or grab my discord. my messages are also open to anyone else who wants to scream at me about my fandoms. i promise ill scream back within 3-5 business days.

maybe one day i'll finally have enough inspiration and time to get back into writing and drawing 🙃 (encouraging my madness does a lot to speed this up i promise)

[efangamez]

Hey you beautiful people!

My name is EfanGamez, a very neurodivergent trans and pan creator who has created 20+ games and have gotten nearly 30,000 downloads on my games!

On this blog, you can find some stuff that I have created, as well as just some fun stuff. I'm not here to preach to people or make sales only; I just want people to enjoy what I make!

You can find my games right here. I promise they're amazing!

If you want separate stores, look below as well!

Itch.io

DriveThruRPG

Kofi

Have a wonderful day! 💜✨💜✨

MY BOUNDARIES BELOW <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

So a little PSA going forward btw! This isn't meant as a call out or anything, but a stating of boundaries with my page and communication, as well as some clear ups!

Please do not ask for advice or tips unsolicited unless through an ask. Again, because I'm a slow texter and have memory loss, I may not be able to get back to you, and I'd much rather you just ask publicly than privately.

I am incredibly mentally ill and autistic, with memory loss and attention disorders, so if we communicate and things are a little wonky, let me know! Sometimes I'm unaware what I'm saying may be a little rude, so please kindly let me know!

I do not consent to be viewed as a "good" person. I have done things that I am not proud of and have hurt people in the past. I have taken steps towards avoiding hurt in the future in drastic ways, but this does not mean I am a "good" person. Please view me as a human being and know that I am flawed and can mess up. Do not hold me up on a pedestal, because one day I'll fall from it and it'll shatter!

Please do not ask me to review game items of yours or someone else's! I currently am trying to simply exist in this world by eating, drinking, and showering, so I may not have time to read your games, even if they're really short. I think that, for me right now, it puts a lot of pressure on me that I just cannot deal with right now.

Please no unsolicited DMs. I have learned the hard way many people on this app who DM me wanting something, trying to strike up conversations, or love bomb you, are trying to get something out of you, and I'm kinda tired of it, frankly. Some people who have DMed me have become cool peeps I can talk to, but some have manipulated me and used me, and when I was of no use, discarded me. Because of this, please ONLY DM me if I have expressed a want to otherwise! (This is for mostly random people I don't know, so if we're already talking, we should be good!)

This kinda goes without saying, but please do not interact with me if you are a minor. This is an 18+ page.

This one may sting for some people, but it's my personal boundary and it has nothing to do with people individually. I do not wish to be called a "friend" of yours unless I myself call you that. It's a term I hold quite dear and hold for a VERY few people. I'm more like an acquaintance to many people or even just one step up from stranger. Again, it does not mean I don't like you, I just hold friendships super close to my heart, and I've been burned calling people friend who truly are not mine.

This one is kinda twofold. I want people to know that if my boundaries are crossed after warning, I will block you. My mental health cannot take constant violations of my boundaries, and thus I have to enforce them. The next is that I will ALWAYS restate a boundary with someone, because I'll never expect anyone to know a boundary without them knowing, so if it happens, I'll let you know, sometimes more than once if I know you well enough.

I will ALWAYS talk about politics or human rights issues, so if you have an issue with that, please do not interact with me. I do not wish to be comrades with those who are "apolitical".

And that's it! I know it's a ton, but like I said, I'll never expect anyone to know automatically what my boundaries are, so if ya mess up, I'll let ya know very kindly!

I'll also have this up on my pinned post so that way people can know exactly my boundaries are!

Have a wonderful day to y'all, and to my fellow disabled and mentally ill baddies out there; you are absolutely loved, and please don't drive yourself to spiral because your feelings are ALWAYS valid (this goes to me too lol).

[deceitful-darlings]

Exactly! This blog has definitely become a safe haven of sorts to discuss darker kinks/topics. So thank you for creating it and for running it so smoothly! 🥺💜 Kinda feeling like an agent of chaos tonight so let’s add some angst to the Step dad!Diavolo agenda. xD

Let’s say your mother does end up dying at the hands of an assassin. I can potentially see him using your vulnerable state to his advantage. Like before you had your mother AND Diavolo in your corner. Now you only have him and a small part of you is terrified he’ll disappear too. You know the man is strong and perfectly capable of defending himself… but anything can happen. Upon confessing your fears to the man he just tugs you into his arms and lets you cry your heart out. He promises to hunt down the assassin personally so he can be the one to dispose of them.

If my blog can be a safe space for anyone, I’m flattered! I made it for a bit of fun, and I honestly don’t think I run it all that smoothly since I’m a mess of a human being, but thank you all for interacting with what I make, the asks, the comments, the DMs, those are geniunely what keep me going with the blog and the lack of which killed my main!

Oh Diavolo would absolutely use your mother’s death to his advantage! When word came back to him that she had been disposed of, the sense of relief he felt was immeasurable, she was finally gone! But he contained that glee, knowing it wouldn’t be long until the guards changed and her body would be found, not even an hour later, the commotion began. He greeted the banging on his office door, summoning the pale faced demons of both shifts inside and when he asked them what the problem was, they threw themselves at his feet.

“Your Highness, the Queen is dead!” He allowed his face to fall into a look of disbelief.

“What do you mean? How can she be dead, was she not under your care?!” His booming voice sent shivers down their spines.

“We don’t know! She was alive at the end of the last shift, but by the time we had switched, she was already...”

“Are you telling me she was killed in the five minutes between your being there?”

“We...we believe so.” They all fell into silence, and he turned his back on them.

“All palace guards besides those taking care of the princess are to search the castle and the surrounding area. The culprits couldn’t have gotten far.”

“Your Highness, is the princess-“ before the guard could finish, the king turned around with a heavy glare directed at him, forcing him into silence.

“The Queen has been killed, we don’t know who the assassin was or where they are, they could still be inside the castle walls. Are you saying that I should leave the princess with no protection?”

“O-of course not, Your Highness. My apologies, it was a slip of the tongue.”

“Should we get her guards to wake her and inform her?”

“...No. Let her sleep.” He bit down of the grin that wanted to take over his face as he stared out of the window. “I think this might be the last time she sleeps peacefully for a while.”

———————————————

He was right of course, you had been able to tell something was wrong the moment you woke up, everything was solemn in the castle, people whispering between themselves only to stop upon seeing you and scurry away. It had been at breakfast that Diavolo informed you about your mother’s passing in the night, the fork clattering against the table when he did.

“But Mother was perfectly healthy! She couldn’t, she wouldn’t die like that!”

“No, she didn’t die from illness.”

“Then how did she die?”

“I failed her. Somehow an assassin gained access to her room.”

“An assassin?!” He nodded.

“I thought the Devildom was heading towards a time of peace. I was wrong, and that cost her life. I’m so sorry my dear, there’s nothing I can do to make up for this failure, but I promise I won’t let this happen again. You’ll have more guards by your side until the culprit is found.”

“But what about you?” He blinked in shock.

“Pardon?”

“If I have so many guards, what about you?”

“You don’t need to worry, I can defend myself.” His words didn’t seem to ease her worries, her eyebrows still drawn together and her hand clenching into the skirt of her dress. “You can speak your mind. I may be the king, but I am also your father.”

“I...I don’t want to lose you.” Your voice was quiet, shaky, but that sentence seemed to be enough to break the dam for both your words and the tears that welled in your eyes. “I had both of you just yesterday, but now Mother is gone! What if that happens again, what if one day I wake up and you’re gone too? I don’t want to be alone! I know you’re strong, but what if-“ you hiccuped, choking on your words as your breath began heaving from your tears, at which point he shushed you, standing from his seat to move around the table and take you into his arms.

“You don’t need to say anymore, I understand. Losing your mother like this, I can’t imagine how confused and scared you must be feeling. I know that telling you not to worry won’t help you, but I promise that I’ll find the people who did this, and I’ll punish them myself.” Your tears didn’t stop, your body shaking with sobs in the security of his arms, your small body fitting so neatly into them and for the first time, he allowed himself to smile, the evidence of the assiassins that killed her was tucked away in his safe, waiting for the right moment to be deposited, everything was going to plan. “Would you prefer to stay with me today, my dear?” He settled his smile as you looked up with him with flushed cheeks and a quivering lip.

“Can I?”

“Of course you can, if being near me will help you feel better, then you can stay by my side. Forever if you need to.”

[magireco]

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!! 

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc... 

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka... 

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation. 

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them. 

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

[honoredbastard]

I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor

[fictropes]

oh boy i sure did write many words in 2020

Hi! I am copying people due to i want to.  This is a lil (well... 63) round up of all the fics I wrote this year! Cos i’m very evil @ myself and writing fic and think i’m either not doing enough, or not doing it good enough, so i wanna full list of what I actually did so I can see my own accomplishments and can maybe... clap 4 myself for once. And honestly writing has helped MASSIVELY with my depression so.. that’s a bonus. 

ALSO. this is a big huge thankyou to everyone! I only joined here + started writing in august and you’ve all been so so nice and welcoming and supportive  <333 ;_; and I know they say write for yourself... but honestly peoples comments and excitement about my stuff has just been really, really lovely and I would never have written this much without all of you cheering me on<3. 

so here is a list of everything i’ve written, organised by length and everything, so if you find yourself bored over the holidays... have a lil browse. (Sorry if u are on mobile and this doesn’t show as a read more) 

Chaptered:

Can we try again? series (M) Complete - 35k  - “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention 2. I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (M) Complete - 30k - Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan) 3. 7 Letters series (M) Complete - 9k - Your penpal can be the person you live with, actually. 4. There's Beans in Here (T) Complete - 2k - Phil has his wisdom teeth removed; Phil says many questionable things. 5. Roadtrip (E) Complete - 8k - “Exactly. I am right, as always.”“As always.” Dan agrees.Series 6. night shift, please (E) Wip - 27k I PROMISE THIS WILL COME BACK IN 2021 - Ten years and he’ll never get over how early he has to get up sometimes. In all honesty he prefers the night shift. 7. Still Not Calling it Fate (M) Wip - 14k - It’s become a bit of a thing, a bit of a thing that everyone he crosses paths with takes the piss out of him for 8. when i met you, a blue rush began (M) Complete - 5k - They end up in a small restaurant overlooking the sea, everything here is so blue. The sky, the sea, Phil’s eyes, the shirt he’s wearing buttoned up all the way to the top. 9. Luggage Tags (E) Complete - 2.5k - Just because it looks like your suitcase, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is. 10. Demon in the sack (E) Complete - 2.5k - Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t. Long ( for me) oneshots (3k+) 11. Electronics and the Phil's who break them (M) Complete - 9k - The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident. 12. A Letter of Specifics (T) Complete - 4k - You'll know it's your soulmate because no one else on earth could be doing what they're doing. 13. The Benefits of A Weak Floor (M) Complete - 4k - He quite literally falls through Dan’s ceiling. 14. 10:35 on a Thursday (E) Complete -  3.7k - He’s tapping his pen against the paper, acting as though he isn’t asking Phil to take a sex quiz at 10:35am on a Thursday morning. 15. 2009, catboys (T) Complete - 3.2k - “You have your own ears, can’t have four.”“Why?” 16. Wrong Room (T) Complete - 3k - “Congratulations!’’ And he was expecting to hear a cry, or at least his mother telling him to be quiet because a certain baby was sleeping. Instead he heard the deep clear of a throat, a rustling of sheets. 2k-3k oneshots 17. Dinner with a stranger (T) Complete - 2.5k - @amazingphl hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;oSeries 18. Easy Lover (M) Complete - 2.4k - ''Yeah. We're always fine.'' It was always fine. It was always easy, despite always behind hard. 19. Cold Season (M) Complete - 2k - Dan is ill, insatiable and another word beginning with I. 1k-2k oneshots 20. Morose men on rooftops (T) Complete - 1.9k - “Dunno, maybe chatting up morose men on roofs is my thing.” He laughs, and it’s a nice noise. 21. Love with tongues of fire (T) Complete - 1.7k - So when Dan waltzed into the room, declaring his hunger Phil thought nothing of it. Just another night for another takeaway. 22. Your Rocks are my Rocks (T) Complete - 1.7k - Phil wants a new rock for Norman, Dan wants a peaceful life. 23. Joint Content (M) Complete - 1.6k - It started of a as a joke— a Joint Content joke. 24. 24/7 Fantasies (M) Complete - 1.5k - He thinks about Dan 24/7, constantly in two separate fantasies 25. A Conversation in Multiple Hallways (T) Complete - 1.5k - You're still here then? 26. Sharing Space (T) Complete - 1.5k - It's 2010 and dan has had a day. 27. The Obvious (T) Complete - 1.5k - "Can I use that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already scrawling it beneath the only three words he currently has— I love you. 28. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (T) Complete - 1.5k - Dan hears half a conversation, jumps to one whole conclusion. 29. Love Language of the Tactile (T) Complete - 1.4k - “I’m just— that’s a hypothetical.” Dan leans in this time, takes the touches that Phil always so freely gives away. “Can’t kiss in secret rooms if I leave.” 30. Don't Let the Self-Doubt Ruin You (T) Complete - 1.3k - “I’m here.” “Yeah, you’re here.” 31. Conflict Resolution (T) Complete - 1.3k - Following recent events we’ve decided it best we take a combative approach to your current workplace issues, we have booked you into a conflict resolution class this Thursday afternoon - we will not be paying you to attend. 32. when it comes to love (i want a slow hand) (E) Complete - 1.2k - And there it is, the refusal of anything in return. This is just for Dan and it always will be. 33. You're Still The one (T) Complete - 1.1k - “What’re you thinking about?” “You.” 34. Teach Me, Dad. (T) Complete - 1k - "Do you think I could be the next Mozart?” 35. The Logistics of a Clone (M) Complete - 1k - “I don’t think that’s a clone, though, like maybe more of a Doppelgänger.” Dan doesn’t know why they’re delving so deep into this, why he’s so damn bothered about being right. “It’s just literally you.” 36. All's fair in Love and Monopoly (T) Complete - 1k - Phil does not play by the rules, Dan lets him win anyway. Under 1k oneshots 37. Hide out in your heart (E)  Complete - 0.9k - The second time Dan comes to visit it’s different. 38. Oh, there you are. (G) Complete - 0.9k - So after all this, after everything, he doesn’t think anything of it when someone else slips into his dms. 39. The Boy has Attitude (T) Complete - 0.9k - “You didn’t tell me you looked like this.”“Like what?”“This!” Phil’s waving a physical copy of the magazine in his face— so that’s where he’d been. 40. Hairties (and how not to use them) (M) Complete - 0.8k - “Why would you do that? Let us settle in, nice and slow and— gently does it.” 41. The Second Apartment. (T) Complete - 0.8k - It’s a stop-gap apartment, a we’re going to get our forever home after this. 42. Japan, 2019. (G) Complete - 0.8k - NO summary, just an obviously I was going to write this after phil's post 43. Doting Man (T) Complete - 0.7k - They’re both drunk, Phil more so— definitely more so.Series 44.  Imposter (T) Complete - 0.7k - Among us is.. a bastard. 45. Ratemyprofessors.com (M) Complete - 0.7k - ‘Maybe if that Phil bloke from the English dep he’s always staring at fucked him he’d stop being so uptight’ 46. Failed Attempts (T) Complete - 0.7k - Dan enlists the help of Phil for his latest Instagram. 47. Bonus Prize (M) Complete - 0.7k - Phil Trash Number One 48. Feels like home (G) Complete - 0.7k - Home is where the Phil is. 49. We can make Forever work (T) Complete - 0.7k - It’s a moment of realising forever may sound too much to people, but we’ll get through everything together— we don’t have any other choice. 50. Scene in the Kitchen (T) Complete - 0.7k - New place 51. 4'11 (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is baby 52. Pillow Imprints (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is a menace, and Phil loves him anyway. 53. Parachute Jacket (T) Complete - 0.5k - Dan thinks Phil is obsessed with them Those few times I thougt I was goddamn Ri**ard S*ken 54. Home (G) Complete - 0.7k - It’s their forever home, because their actual forever lives inside of it. 55. secrets spoken in empty rooms (T) Complete - 1k - So he wants to be the same, but he wants Dan more. 56. Separately Together  (T) Complete - 0.9k - Phil’s soft hands and even softer words. It gets harder to leave. Gets to the point where Dan turns off an alarm just so he misses the train. 57. It's not hard to fall (T) Complete - 0.7k - Still a little bit of your words I long to hear Some more Epistolary (apart from 7 letters)  58. A Play in One Act (T) Complete - 1.1k - [Manchester Piccadilly train-station, midday, October 19th, 2009.] 59. R/AITA (T) Complete - 0.8k - AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY BOYFRIEND BE A WORM?Series 60. Lonely Hearts (T) Complete - 1.8k - I will not say you were crying on the tube (out of politeness) 61. Conversations of the Lazy Kind (T) Complete - 1k - eggs? wot? Smells like eggs

[khoicesbyk]

The Royal Romance.

A/N: I’ve decided to go into my own little TRR world and create an AU. This will be fun! So; Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Explicit. | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual from me. 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: King Marquise Rys (LI) and Queen Shanelle Dawkins (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and certain original characters, created by me) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 1,980 words.

I made a Drabble! Woooooohoooooo! Go me!

Prompt Time! Today I’m using @wackydrabbles Prompt #73 “Why Did You Do It?” It’ll be in bold in black.

Tag List: @lifeaskim @choiceslady @texaskitten30 @bebepac @glaimtruelovealways @kingliam2019 @txemrn @pixie88 @lucy-268 @hopelessromanticmonie @secretaryunpaid @shanzay44 @choicesfannatalie @wackydrabbles @choicesficwriterscreations

I AM UNAPOLOGETICALLY NSFW! READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!

As always if you’d like to be added to my tag list. Just reblog or DM me and I will gladly add you! 😁😘

Chapter 18.) The Declaration.

(Italicized words are King Marquise’s POV)

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. Tariq SaVion, someone I once considered a good friend, had just announced his intention to take the crown. On the day of my father’s funeral, no less.

“Now I’m sure many of you think that I’m being insensitive to his majesty and The Royal Family. I assure you that is not the case. I too mourn the death of King Father. He was a great man. An impeccable leader. Someone who gave his all for and to Cordonia and her people. May he rest in eternal peace. And I do sincerely extend my heartfelt condolences to them in their time of grief.”

“Unbelievable.” I heard my brother say. I stayed silent, holding Shanelle close to me as I listened.

“I’m not saying that his majesty is or has been a terrible person or monarch. But what I am saying is that his choice in queen has left much to be desired. The court doesn’t approve of nor do they trust her. And with good reason. And if they can’t, then my fellow Cordonians neither can you.”

“Excuse me?! Who the fuck does he is?!” I hear my love say out loud. I love her passion and especially her anger.

“I understand that many of you must be saying the same of me as I am of her. Duchess Shanelle wasn’t the only one involved with the scandal. I was as well. It ruined me. And you have every right to question me. But I can at least say this for myself. I’m a fellow Cordonian. She’s not.”

My grip on Shanelle’s hip tightens ever so slightly. No one talks about my future queen like that.

“Duchess Shanelle is not only not a noble but she’s an American. An absolute outsider! One who thinks that, she can just waltz in and take the monarchy for herself! She knows nothing about Cordonia, her customs or her people. For all we know, she’s a devil in a ball gown.”

“Nuh uh! Compared to him, Shanelle’s an absolute angel!” Maxwell quips. He’s right. My love is an angel.

“We as Cordonians can’t trust her. She’ll lead us to ruin! We must stand up! We must revolt! We must throw her out! Because I can guarantee you that his majesty won’t. He’s too blinded by love to get rid of her. Which is why I am challenging for the throne. Per Legitima successione nobilium, I challenge for the crown. Again, I have no ill will towards King Marquise. This has to do with what is in the best interest of the crown, the people and the country.”

“He can’t do that!” I hear Hana blurt out. She’s standing next to my brother who has a weary look on his face.

“As many of you know I am not a noble. But my future queen is.”

“Future queen?! Who’d be dumb enough to marry him?” Drake asks.

He’s a good man that one. Always loyal. Even to a fault. But Drake was right about one thing. No woman would be stupid enough to marry Tariq. Even if it was for political reasons. Or so I thought. Because a woman did take his side.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my future queen: Duchess Kaitlyn Winslow of House Fierro. Because of her noble house being one of the Great Houses, we will be your next king and queen.”

To say I was shocked is an understatement. I’ve always known that Duchess Kaitlyn was always ambitious but, never in a million years did I think she’d align herself with someone the likes of him. He was always someone I figured that she’d consider beneath her. Joke was clearly on me.

We watched as he turned to her and asked, “my dear would you like to say a few words?”

My jaw clenched as I watched her take to the podium.

“Thank you, my future king. As Tariq mentioned we are challenging for the throne and the crown. And I would like to reiterate that this is not a personal attack on his majesty or The Royal Family. This is a battle for you Cordonia. We can’t have some common foreigner ruling our country. It would put us at great risk as a nation. Our enemies will continue to consider us weak! We can’t have that! So when Tariq reached out to me about a mutually beneficial relationship between us, I instantly agreed. I love our country and her people and I, like my future king would do anything to protect it. Which is why we are calling on all of the great houses to hold a parliamentary election, as they did when King Fabian was crowned.”

“Ohhh you gotta be fucking kidding me! That law hasn’t been used or thought of in 500 years!” Leo said with clear anger and aggravation in his voice.

Although my brother was right, the law no matter how outdated, is still on the books and sadly is still valid. And as king there was nothing I could do to stop them from using it.

“My future king and I will be hosting our own debut at my family’s estate. And we cordially invite all nobles, including his majesty and friends to attend. I can promise that it will be a night that no one will forget.”

I felt Shanelle nuzzling my neck. I could tell that she was extremely upset.

“My future queen and I want to thank each of you in the press for attending our joint press conference and we’d especially like to thank our fellow Cordonians for watching. And to his majesty, may the best man win! Even though I already know that the best man is me.”

After turning off the TV and throwing the remote down, it was over. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe it. How dare they challenge me? What’s more, how dare they speak that way about Shanelle?! My angel?! My Goddess?! My Queen?! To say that I’m angry is an understatement. My love still hadn’t said anything about what we just saw and I was beginning to feel concerned.

“Will you all give us a moment?” I ask my friends. With nods they walk out of my study, leaving just me and my queen.

“You’re quiet, my queen.” I say to her.

I could feel her trembling body against my chest. I knew then that she was beyond upset.

“Talk to me, Shanelle.”

She shook her head no.

“Please say something, my love. Don’t let what they said about you, get to you.”

That’s when I felt tears on my left shoulder.

“My queen please don’t cry!” I say as I try to soothe her.

“But they’re right about me.” She says as her voice breaks.

When I tilt her chin up to look into her eyes, I see those beautiful brown eyes filled with tears. I’m both hurt and enraged at that point.

“No they aren’t! They don’t know you like I do. They don’t know your passion, your fire, your drive, your willingness to do and be better than before. They certainly don’t know your incredibly large heart. They don’t know your intelligence. They don’t know your adaptability to changing situations. They don’t know your determination. They don’t know your compassion. My love, there’s more to bring a queen than just ruling.”

“But Marquise the court…the court hates me! They don’t want me here! Your mother said it herself, if they can’t and don’t trust or like me, they won’t be compelled to get their people to like me!” She says as she cries in my arms.

“The court is a fickle thing. One minute they love and embrace you and the next, they hate you with the fury and power of 1,000 suns. That shouldn’t stop you my love.”

I rub her back in an attempt to soothe her cries.

“I don't want to be the reason why you lose everything you have worked for!” She cries to me.

“Shanelle look at me! I want you to know and hear me when I say this, you are not the reason why I could or would possibly lose everything! They are! This is solely on them! Not you! Do you understand?” I ask her.

Irrational as her fears may be to me, they were real to her. And that’s all that matters.

“Yes I understand.” She whispered to me.

“Good. Now we have to go on the offensive. Because unfortunately I can’t stop them from calling on that law.”

“Even though you’re the king?” She asks.

“It may be an ancient and decrepit bylaw but it’s a law. And I as king am forbidden to use my power to go against it.” I reply to her.

I see her cries start to dissipate then eventually they stop. I kiss the remaining tears that fall away.

“Why did you do it?” She asks me. I’m a little confused.

“Do what, my queen?” I ask her.

“Stand here and comfort me, knowing that someone wants to take your crown.”

Damn she’s good.

“Because that’s what a king does. He gives comfort and protection even in his own pain, anger and misery. My father taught me that.”

She smiled at me. God that damn smile. I would do anything just to see it.

“Do you feel better, mon amour?” I ask her.

“Yes or at least I’m trying to be.” She replies.

“That’s all I ask. Listen to me. We will fight this. I promise you that. I will not just lay down and let someone take everything I have earned. This is nothing more than a power grab. They don’t care about the country or its people. The crown and the throne are more than just a birthright to me. They are my responsibility to my family, to my people, to my country, to my own honor and duty and especially to you, my love.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean to me?” She asks.

“As a king, I have a responsibility to my queen. I am your servant before I am a servant of the people. It is up to me to make sure that you are always fulfilled in every way.” I tell her.

She smiled softly at me. Saints give me the strength to not take her on this desk right here right now.

“I’d say that you’re off to a good start, my king.”

There she is. There’s my queen.

“Good. I’d hate to think I’ve been failing in my duties to you, my queen.”

She had this thoughtful look on her face.

“I wouldn't say that you’ve been failing in your duties. Buuuuuuut you have been slacking.”

“Who?! Me?! What?! How?! When?! Where?!” I ask her.

There it is again. That smile that makes me want to scale an erupting volcano. Okay that’s it, dear God if you’re listening: Help! Me! Before! She! Winds! Up! Being! The! Reason! That! I! Don’t! Make! It! Into! Heaven!

“You never finished kissing me.” She replied.

Phew! Crisis of biblical proportions averted.

“Ohhh my! You’re right my queen! Allow me to rectify this egregious oversight on my part at once!”

God I love the taste of her lips! They much like the rest of her, are always soft, supple and decadent. And that kiss…God forgive my sinful thoughts!

“Much better, my king.”

“Good. Now I have to ask you my queen: are you ready to go to war?” I ask her.

“For you? For us? For our people? For our kingdom and country? Hell yeah!” She replied.

“Excellent! Now I believe we’ve been invited to a farce of a debut. And you know how I just love a good party.”

“Well then it’s settled my king. We have a debut to crash.” She said to me with a sly wink.

God I love this woman!

[shit-lets-be-dungeons]

Ever wanted to put more Wild Magic into your campaign? Do you like the idea of punching somebody and they turn into cake? Wanna mix martial arts and luck manipulation? To you then, I bring my first homebrew: The Way of the WILDSTYLE! Monks that make use of sources of Wild Magic, including an extensive Table to make things happen with your Ki Points!

I made this with the help of the Homebrewery, a browser-based program that can convert text to a document in that fancy Wizards of the Coast style! Click here to get started, or support the creator on Patreon! 

Full text of this Homebrew below the cut:

Monk: Way of the WILDSTYLE

Monks of the Way of WILDSTYLE follow a tradition that embraces madness so intimately as to make one blush.

The origins of the tradition are multifarious and mysterious. Some monks of the WILDSTYLE (sometimes called “Way of the Crazy Hands”) lay claim to the Githzerai of Limbo, who could not only resist the impact of the chaotic realm but harness it. Other monasteries of WILDSTYLE hang above reservoirs of potent, unstable magics, volatile places for all but they. Still others serve at the behest of those rare deities ascribing to the Chaotic and Neutral, such as the Seldarine deity Fenmarel Mestarine.

These monks are capricious, often with no 2 monasteries taking the same role in their society. In some places, they are the last line of defense against volatile and unpredictable threats. In others, they are ruffians and rebels, quick to dismiss authorities. There are many mysteries about these monasteries, with some going so far as to distrust and fear them. Those in the know of the WILDSTYLE know that, for good or for ill, Monks of this way always promise excitement.

And yes, "WILDSTYLE" has to be all-caps.

WILDSTYLE Surge

Starting when you choose this tradition at 3rd level, you can use your ki to impart a certain Wild power into your strikes. As an action, you can spend 1 ki point to roll for a Wild Magic Surge. As a monk of the Way of WILDSTYLE, you surge on a roll of 20, upon which you roll a d20 on the WILDSTYLE Table (see below). For effects requiring saving throws, the DC will be equal to 10 + your Wisdom modifier + the number of ki points expended (in this case, 1). At this level, you can only do this for 1 action per turn.

Chaos Tide

Once you pick this tradition at 3rd level, you gain an innate sense for the magic about you. If you are not already proficient, you gain Proficiency in the Arcana skill. You can also automatically “sense” magical effects and auras within a 60 ft radius. These areas of effect glow and ripple with light, faint or bright depending on the strength or age of the effect placed. You can even discern from the colors of the aura observed what School of magic the effect may belong to.

In addition, you gain advantage on Saves against magical effects that have been identified in this way.

Improved WILDSTYLE

At 6th level, you begin to harness the true magical potential of WILDSTYLE.

As your attacks now count as magical, when you roll for WILDSTYLE Surge, you can now add your attack bonus to the d20 roll. What’s more, you can roll on the WILDSTYLE Table upon a successful Surge for each Attack, spending at least one ki point each time. You can spend up to 3 ki points per turn in this way.

For effects requiring saving throws, the DC will be equal to 10 + your Wisdom modifier + the number of ki points expended (1-3).

Chaos Check

By 11th level, you can harness the magical underpinnings of the universe to aid you in given scenarios.

You may replace any check made since your previous turn with a “Chaos Check” roll, either as an action to replace your own roll or a reaction against (and replacing) an enemy’s roll. That Luck Check will take the raw dice roll only, no modifiers or advantages/disadvantages. However, you have to take the roll that’s given, even if lower than the initial check. What’s more, any Chaos Check roll also counts as a WILDSTYLE Surge roll.

You can perform this a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier, after which you must take a Short Rest to regain use of this.

Master WILDSTYLE

By 17th level, you’ve become well-acquainted with the power of the WILDSTYLE.

Every time you use a Ki point, that will count as a roll for a WILDSTYLE Surge. However, when you purposefully roll for a Wild Magic Surge, you may expend an additional ki point to roll with “advantage” - that is, the DM will roll twice on the WILDSTYLE Table, and ask you to pick which effect you would like to initiate.

Note they can be as vague as humanly possible with what effect exactly will happen.

Chaos Reflect

At 17th level, you can take advantage of the chaos you’ve experienced and deflect it towards enemies.

As an Bonus Action on top of an Attack, you may spend anywhere between 1 to 10 ki points and force a previously-experienced WILDSTYLE effect on that creature.

For effects requiring saving throws, the DC will be equal to 10 + your Wisdom modifier + the number of ki points expended. You will also have advantage on any effect that would include yourself.

WILDSTYLE Table

1. You turn into a potted plant upon landing your hit. You cannot move, you cannot take Actions or Bonus Actions, all attacks have advantage against you, and your HP is reduced to 8 + your Constitution modifier. If your HP is reduced to 0, you transform back, but must start making death saves. You also transform back at the end of your next turn.

2. You give 2d8 additional damage. Roll the 2nd d8 to determine the damage type - Acid, Cold, Fire, Force, Lightning, Poison, Psychic, or Thunder.

3. A Giant Frog appears in a spot within 30 feet of you. This Giant Frog is completely neutral, and does not vanish but may bound away after a while.

4. You force the enemy to make a Constitution saving throw, to avoid transmogrifying into an inanimate material. As they roll, consult one of your damage die to determine the material - Stone, Wood, Metal, Clay, Paper, Cake, Dirt, Molasses, Water, or Smoke. If the enemy fails, they become a statue of this material, effectively Paralyzed and with attacks having advantage against them. If they succeed, they instead transform into a living construct of that material - immune to Bludgeoning, Piercing, and/or Slashing damages depending on their make. This effect can be removed with Greater Restoration, or when you succeed another WILDSTYLE surge.

5. Upon a successful hit, roll another of your damage die. This die determines how many tens of feet the enemy is pushed backwards - and if they hit something before making that distance, how many d6 of Bludgeoning damage they take from the force.

6. A Weasel appears in a spot within 5 feet. This Weasel has advantage on its Initiative, as it is antagonistic towards you, and will wish to attack as soon as possible.

7. Roll a d6, and record that number. At the beginning of every subsequent turn, a d6 will be rolled. If someone rolls a d6 matching yours, you immediately swap locations and Initiatives with that person. Hopefully this won’t put anyone in harm’s way.

8. Your last hit immediately causes your enemy’s head to spin completely around 180 degrees. This does not kill them, however; instead, any movement they make will be backwards, and attacks not behind them will have disadvantage. They have to use their action to set their head back on straight.

9. You initiate a similar effect to the Sleep spell. Upon a successful hit, roll all of your hit dice. This will determine what hit-points’ worth of creatures can be put immediately to sleep within range. Instead of dealing damage, your attacks have this power until the start of an enemy’s turn.

10. Voluminous soap bubbles burst from your mouth. You are unable to speak Command Words or other words until the start of an enemy’s next turn.

11. You turn into a “Real Boy”. Any racial traits vanish, and all of your stats are assumed to have a +1 modifier. You are restored upon another successful WILDSTYLE Surge.

12. Roll a d20. On 10 or higher, any of your hits cause a harmless squeaking noise instead of dealing damage. That enemy which squeaks will be vulnerable to Bludgeoning, Slashing, or Piercing damage. On a 9 or lower, any enemy that hits you causes a harmless squeaking sound to come out of you instead of dealing damage. However, you will be vulnerable to Bludgeoning, Slashing, or Piercing damage. All effects end at the start of your next turn.

13. Your hands turn into snapping serpents. Your Unarmed Strikes now deal Piercing instead of Bludgeoning damage, with a Constitution saving throw for someone to avoid taking Poison damage (equal to 1 damage die) and being Poisoned. However, these Unarmed Strikes will be essentially Animal Handling checks, as your arms are now literally 2 snakes. Were you to cut these heads off, your own hands will reappear. This effect may also end upon another successful Wild Magic Surge.

14. On hit, with a loud “KA-CHING!” money flies out of your enemy. You can collect as much Gold as XP that enemy normally produces. However, any hit landed on you causes 1d8 Gold Piece’s worth of your own money to fly out.

15. You turn into a Yakman. You count as one size larger for the purposes of Strength checks, and your Dexterity, Strength, and Constitution stats go up by 3 (up to 20). However, your Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma go down by 3, and you have disadvantage on checks related to these. All racial Traits are disabled while being a Yakman. This effect goes away after a long, deep shave. This effect may also go away upon another successful Wild Magic Surge.

16. A number of Flumph equal to your Monk level appear within 30 feet of you, controlled by the DM. They may roll Initiative to help.

17. The next successful hit causes 2d100 beans to fly out of your opponent in a 30-foot radius. Everyone in that 30-foot radius must make an Intelligence saving throw, or they will be compelled to begin counting the beans. An affected creature may use their Action to count beans, at a rate of 180 BPM (Beans Per Minute), or they may attempt the Intelligence save again. They may also opt to retain their major Action, and use their Bonus Action to count beans, at a rate of 90 BPM; this may prolong the effect depending on how many beans have been produced. An individual with Stillness of Mind may use this to end the effect. The effect ends once all the beans are counted.

18. You suddenly become aware of a sizable, expectant audience that’s watching your every move. All of your attacks are now based on Performance, with Inspiration granted if you put on a good show. However, at least your first turn would be at disadvantage, given the stage fright. To stop this effect, roll a successful Wisdom saving throw to ignore the crowd. If you have Stillness of Mind, you may also use that to end this effect.

19. A Tyrannosaurus Rex appears within 120 feet of you, controlled by the DM. Good luck.

20. All of your Ki Points are restored, and you get to roll for another WILDSTYLE Surge.

[gallickingun]

I hope you don't mind me asking... How did you get followers? I want to start my own blog but I want to make sure I can reach audiences I want to reach. I don't have any friends who know I write, and honestly I'm not sure I'd want them to read my works anyway. I get embarrassed easily. It's much easier for me to talk to someone that I don't have a face for. Does that make sense? Probably not. But how did you start your adventure here?

I want to preface this with follower count can make sense, or it can’t. I’ve made friends with some of the most amazing, most talented writers who have less than a thousand followers. I’ve made friends with amazing, talented writers who have thousands of followers. I genuinely don’t know how to trick the algorithm into listening to you, haha, but just know that numbers don’t equal talent; popularity does not always equal skill. So please, even if you don’t have the high follower count of someone else, don’t let it discourage you from writing! Everyone starts somewhere, and everyone grows differently. 

But, I’ve found that it all depends on who you write for, what you write, and how often you write. 

Who you write for: Bakugou is one of the most popular characters. I truly didn’t know this when I entered the fandom, but it was really what got me started on the upward climb. I’m by no means a big blogger, lol, but I know that writing for Bakugou was what helped me out initially. He was originally the only character who I could write for because he was my favorite and I hadn’t really gotten too far into the show. I think the same goes for other fandoms - if you write for the more popular characters, who have more content in demand because they have more fans, you’re more likely to gain more followers. 

DISCLAIMER: Do not let this keep you from writing for other characters who are less popular, if you prefer to write for them. Content is needed for all characters! I am desperate for some Sugawara content, but he’s not one of the more popular characters that people write for (see: Kuroo, Ushiwaka, Bokuto, Oikawa, Iwa, and Akaashi). If we only focus on the popular characters, the ones that get us the most growth, but those aren’t the characters we love, the content can seem disingenuous, if that makes sense. I got lucky by Bakugou being my favorite. But like, when I try to push out Kaminari content, I find that it’s a real struggle for me because I don’t necessarily vibe with Kaminari as a character. The same goes in reverse. If the minor characters have your heart, but you try to force out content for the popular characters, it can be tough to write and come across like you don’t really want to write it. Write who you want to write! 

What you write: This is a really big deal right now, but I’m just gonna say it lol. NSFW gets more notes. I don’t say that to force you into writing NSFW content - I actually had never read/written NSFW content until this past March, and I’m 22, going on 23. Originally, when I decided to start writing, I wanted to be NSFW-free, but some stuff changed in life and in writing and I chose to make the change.

Also, I’ve found for each fandom, different things are more prevalent. For instance, the BNHA fandom seems to do a lot of AU’s and full length fics, but the Haikyuu!! fandom seems to do more traditional works that follow canon and then the content itself is mostly headcanons and short scenarios. I think you have to find what works for you and write it to the best of your ability. I suck at headcanons, I’ve never really been able to do them and they stress me out. So I stick to full length fics. I know this means I’ll do better in one fandom versus the other, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to start only doing headcanons just because it’s what’s popular. 

DISCLAIMER: This does NOT mean that just because someone wrote 10k words of smut, that it’s better or more involved than your 10k words of fluff/angst/domestic/etc. writing. Unfortunately, there are horn dogs out there who are especially touch starved during quarantine. It doesn’t make anyone better or worse because they choose to write about being naked versus being clothed. Please don’t let this discourage you from writing SFW-only writing, as there are tons of people out there who are just as desperate for some comfort fics about cuddling completely clothed. 

How often you write: When I first started, I had a lot more time on my hands and was able to pump out content much quicker. I grew pretty rapidly in a short period of time because I was able to consistently put out content. Since I’ve gotten more busy and my mental illness has reared it’s ugly head, I’ve not been able to write as much and I can tell my follower count growth had tapered off. But the pace in which you post content generally helps increase your follower count, because people know that you will continuously feed them with the goods! Sometimes it might be good to set a schedule so others know when you’ll be posting - say a new fic every Friday? Or sometimes it can be good to keep your followers engaged with thirst posts (SFW or NSFW), or specific nights where you do events that focus on a certain character or genre. 

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO PUSH OUT CONTENT. Please be aware within your own self what your limits are. Just because one writer can sit at home and push out tons of short scenarios and drabbles during the day, but you can’t, doesn’t mean either of you are doing anything wrong. It just means that one person has a different availability than you. I don’t really do thirst posts a ton in the same respect that others do them, because I know that I’ll want to write a whole fic out of the couple of sentences that my followers might send in. However, there are many others within the fandom that can respond with a few paragraphs that take a few minutes to type out. It doesn’t mean that they’re better than me and I’m a horrible writer, it just means that in this area, they’re more skilled or have more time. 

Also, don’t be afraid to tag people and send out DMs! I promise your writer idols are not nearly as scary as you think they are. And they’re probably just as excited to get a DM from you as you are to talk to them! I was really hesitant to reach out to anyone before, because I never really did much chatting in other fandoms, but the anime fandoms I’ve been apart of have been very kind and welcoming, and helpful! I made some of my closest friends because I tagged them in my works or I joined a server with them in it, or I read their stuff and reached out to them to fangirl over it. Don’t be afraid to reach out, even if you just keep the conversation focused on your writing, it’ll still be worth it in the end! The worst thing that could happen is they don’t reply or the conversation fizzles out. Either way, you will have made a connection, and blasted one another with some serotonin.

Remember to take breaks. Take a hiatus every once and a while! Take some time for yourself to recharge. If this begins to feel like a job, like an obligation, and you feel yourself dragging your feet just to put out content, please step back and reevaluate. This is a hobby, it’s supposed to be fun. Once it stops being fun, take a breather and reassess what you’re doing. Sometimes this means closing requests, sometimes this means opening requests, sometimes this means participating in collab fics, sometimes this means disconnecting entirely. This is just tumblr, in the end, and you should be able to take care of yourself first rather than pinning yourself into a corner to try and post content for the sake of your followers. In the end, everyone wants you to be happy and healthy, so you can put your best foot forward in life and in your hobbies. So please, for the love of everything, take a break every now and then. Disconnect, recharge, and regroup. 

I also had a blog before this one, my main, so I’ve been on tumblr for eight year prior to this. I’m not going to even claim that I begin to understand how this hellsite works, but I will say that I’ve been writing on here for a while now, since way back to my band blog days. Eventually you just write what you want to write, and chat with your followers and your friends, and you’ll grow organically. When you start to pressure yourself over it, it can become like a cloud looming over you, and then when you don’t perform up to your preset standards, it might be a little disappointing. Follower milestones are cool to want to achieve and celebrate, but don’t pour all your focus into them. For the most part, I use milestones for celebration events to give back to my followers, or to set goals for myself like opening commissions! But they don’t determine my worth as a writer, because sometimes the tumblr algorithm is more giving to some rather than others.

Whew, this was a doozy. But I hope it helped! Some of these answers might come off a little crass, but I’m just trying to be honest. Don’t let anything deter you from doing whatever the hell you wanna do.

You wanna write that rarepair? DO IT. You wanna write character x character? DO IT. You wanna write about your Original Characters? DO IT. 

Whatever it is you want to do, do it! And have a helluva time doing it 💕

[starmakerdotcom]

summary : peach doubts himself once again.

characters : kwon baekhan , han jaeyi , rest of botanica ensemble mentioned (side note ; daniel’s korean name is jiwon and elliot’s is hanryeol , which is who jaeyi is referring to)

genre : tryna be angst but once again i cannot write angst but i tried

warnings : they say shit like twice , implied mental illness ?? maybe ?? he lowkey has a mini panic attack at the start . i don’t know if you can think of a better way to put it lmk also if u have a problem w the way i’m portraying this pls dm me !!! i’m always looking to learn more and i don’t wanna offend anyone <33

words : 1.5k

[ july 2019 , 1:34 am , SMK building rooftop ]

baekhan burst through the doors from the stairwell, immediately taking a gulping breath, taking in as much fresh air into his lungs as he could. he couldn’t breathe, he felt suffocated, like the roof was caving in around him. he needed fresh air, he needed to go outside, away from everything for just a minute.

he knew jaeyi would come looking for him eventually, he just needed a break, to get away from everything around him that made him feel like he wasn’t good enough.

take a break! jaeyi would say, you’re pushing yourself too much, you’ll regret it when you get hospitalized by passing out from exhaustion. that was ridiculous, he’d know when to stop himself. we can come back tomorrow! they’d say, but by that time it already was tomorrow, so he might as well stay the rest of the night, right? he was debuting in two weeks- oh god, he wasn’t ready for that. the others didn’t have to work as hard because they were gifted, naturally talented, and good enough to debut already. they didn’t understand that baekhan didn’t belong here. he was a fraud, he shouldn’t have made it as far as he did.

a fraud, untalented, not worthy, a fraud, a fraud, a fraud.

baekhan made his way over to the ledge, gripping onto the rail as his way of keeping himself grounded. the cold midnight breeze and the view of the entire city below him was strangely comforting. he exhaled for what felt like the first time in an hour, and just stood there for a second, his elbows supporting his body as he leaned on the railing, trying to clear his mind.

he hated the fact that he just got up and left instead of trying to calm down. even when he couldn’t breathe and it felt like the panelled ceiling of the practice room was falling and caving on top of him, running away from his problems wasn’t gonna fix them. bolting out of the practice room and hiding wasn’t gonna do anything, it just made him look like a coward.

he lowered his head, trying to calm his shaky breathing and trying to take his mind off the fact that the word kept dancing around in his head. fraud, fraud, fraud.

baekhan wasn’t that hard to find. after jaeyi convinced tian to go back to the dorm and sleep after he snuck out for much longer than he was supposed to, the rooftop was one of the first places he checked. although he was deathly afraid of heights and his legs shook every time he went up there, jaeyi had to somehow convince him to come back down and go back to the dorm with him.

he breathed a sigh of relief when he carefully pushed open the door to the roof and saw baekhan standing near the edge, leaning on the rail.

“baek?” he called as he made his way over to where the older stood, trying to block out the sound of cars rushing below them that made his head spin. baekhan whipped his head around quickly, but softened seeing it was just jaeyi. his eyes looked puffy.

“shouldn’t you be back at the dorm?” he asked.

“i came to look for you, you know i wouldn’t go back without you.”

“i know my way back,” baekhan replied cooly, “or are you trying to make sure i don’t off myself.”

jaeyi hesitated, “kind of? anyway- i’m talking you back to the dorm now. you need rest.”

baekhan sighed, “can we just stay out here for a minute? i need some fresh air, i promise i’ll come back after.”

jaeyi gulped, surpressing the urge to projectile vomit down the side of the building onto an unsuspecting driver below for the sake of his friend. “yeah, we can stay for a minute. i’m staying with you to make sure you come back.”

surprisingly, baekhan nodded in compliancy. “that’s fine,” he replied, turning around to slide down to a sitting position with the rail supporting his back, “i just need a minute.”

jaeyi sat down next to him, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. although jaeyi was worrying about the possibility of the rail somehow giving way from the weight of the two scrawny boys and sending them tumbling over the edge, to eventually land in a sad pile as a gift to some poor pedestrian that just so happened to be walking at the wrong time.

“is there anything that’s bothering you? you don’t have to tell me, i just don’t want you to keep everything from me- i guess?” jaeyi asked.

“nothing that you can really help with,” baekhan mumbled.

“well- just tell me what’s on your mind, please? i might not be able to help, but maybe having someone listen will make it better?”

baekhan sighed, “maybe. it’s kind of complicated though.”

“try me,” jaeyi replied confidently.

nervously drumming his fingers on the concrete of the ground, he quickly said, “i’m not ready to debut.”

jaeyi blinked, “you’re being serious?” when baekhan nodded quickly, he continued, “you’re more ready than all five of us combined, where’d you get that from?”

“...because i’m not ready?” baekhan looked at jaeyi like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “have you seen my dancing? daniel has tried to help me so many times, and i’m still a horrible dancer. i don’t know how he’s so patient when i want to punch myself in the face every time i mess up the choreography.”

“i think your dancing is good...” jaeyi said quietly before baekhan continued, his eyes glossy from welling tears.

“i’m not ready, i don’t want to debut yet, i don’t even deserve to be here. you and daniel try to help, straighten your back, stick this move with your arms, chest out, neck straight, and i can’t fucking get it. i don’t know why i’m here. i’d probably be working at a fast food restaurant or something if i wasn’t here. i don’t deserve it, i’m not talented enough, i’m a fraud.”

jaeyi stiffened, not sure how to respond. he felt horrible knowing that his friend was going through this right under his nose and he had no clue. this wasn’t the confident, talented baekhan jaeyi thought he knew when he joined the company a few months prior. seeing him in a weak, vulnerable state like this filled him with an intense feeling of sonder. everyone around him, although they may have appeared fine, were living their own set of problems right underneath the surface that no one, or just a select few people even know about. but one thing was for sure, if kwon baekhan was anything, a fraud was most definitely not one of those things.

“you’re not a fraud,” jaeyi replied, and quickly added, “never were, and never will be.”

“you might think so,” baekhan quickly wiped a few stray tears away that had leaked down his cheeks and lowered his head again, letting his hair obscure part of his face, “i feel like it though. don’t bother asking why. i don’t know but i also do know.”

“i see,” jaeyi nodded slowly, “sorry- i’ve never been good with stuff like this.”

“no, it’s okay, it was actually good to get that off my chest, actually. i’ve never really said any of that out loud to anyone before,” baekhan reassured the younger.

“well- if you ever need to get anything else off your chest, come to me,” jaeyi said, “or jiwon, or sangwoo- eh no maybe not sangwoo, hanryeol- eh- tian- eh? maybe? me or jiwon would probably be your best bet, actually.”

baekhan laughed, and when he saw that jaeyi was starting to yawn, he said, “should we head back now? it’s late.”

“yeah, no shit it’s late,” jaeyi laughed with him, already starting to get up, “if you’re ready to go back, then yeah. i’d love to get off of this roof.”

“right,” baekhan followed, standing up as well. he almost felt lighter, like he could stand slightly straighter now, “that was refreshing.”

“you need sleep, i swear, have you seen yourself?” baekhan touched his face at that, and although he couldn’t see himself he could practically feel the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten that past week.

“before we go back, c’mere,” jaeyi held his arms out, and when baekhan cautiously scooted closer, he grabbed him and enveloped him in a tight hug, baekhan immediately stiffening.

“you smell like sweat,” baekhan laughed, crinkling his nose.

“so do you,” jaeyi replied, “and can you please come to me next time you’re having trouble with something?”

“i’ll try,” baekhan mumbled into the taller boy’s chest, “oh god, what would i do without you, i swear.”

“ew, enough of that sappy shit- let’s get back now, or i’ll pass out in the elevator on the way back!” jaeyi said, loosening his grip around the shorter boy’s torso.

as the two boys walked off the roof and down to the elevator, baekhan felt a strange sense of relief that he hadn’t felt in what felt like years. and the rest of the night he’d stay up thinking- what in the world did he ever do to deserve a friend like han jaeyi?

[clowndaydreams]

Yan!Marvus x Reader

I hope you all like it!

“Can you pass me the potato chips?” You looked over to your companion. Marvus nodded and reached over to get said bag from his side of the couch.

“here ya go.” You grunted a quick thank you to the clown and started to dig in. You had been hanging out with Marvus all day. You still couldn’t believe how friendly you’ve gotten with the superstar since you met him at that concert you went to. It had been a few perigrees since then, but the clown had since made a habit of inviting you over randomly when he was free. You were just happy that he remembered you at all.

Currently though, you were both relaxing on the couch and watching some Slam or Get Culled episodes that he was in. Right now, a season finale was playing. He was the final challenge for that season’s top 2. They had to rap battle him and whoever fared better was the winner.  You glanced over at him. He was in his usual facepaint, but was casually wearing a neon yellow ripped tank top and matching pajama pants with some designer troll logo and ‘JUICY’ all over them. How he managed to look so hot in that would forever elude you. You snapped out of it when he started speaking again.

“u kno, i thought ricard was the better 1 outta those 2.” You pretended to glare at him.

“SPOILERS!” You jokingly huffed, lightly shoving his arm. It didn’t move, as you’d expect.

“LOL! XoD sorry fam, seen dis crap 1000 times alreddy.” Wait, then why did he let you pick this episode? Or even agree to watch this with you? If this was boring you could do something else. And as if he could read your mind, he held up a hand.

“dun worry bout dis. is chill or w/e. butt srsly, u kno who gunna win.”

“Still! I wanna watch it!” You giggled. You both watched on in silence as Marvus was brought on to surprise the contestants.

“How were they behind the scenes?” You asked as you watched the confessionals for both of the contestants.

“ricards moirail b a clown, so me n him knew each other alreddy. he wuz p chill i guess lol.”

“What about Krayaa?”

“turns out she wuz a fangirl. foamin at the mouth n erythng.”

“Really?!” You turned to him to try and see if he was lying. He looked almost bored about it all. Like you were both talking about the weather or something. You wished you could be so relaxed about meeting a rabid fangirl and somehow living to tell the tale. Seadwellers were supposed to be stronger and more durable than landdwellers. At least, that was according Polypa anyway. Huh, you had to remember to check on her later after you got home too.

“ye. she wanted 2 pail after the shoot.” Your jaw dropped. Krayaa was a seadweller! Did he have to listen to her? She could have killed him for not listening!

“Nahhh, no worries,, the contract she signed for the ep woulda had her disqualified and mah bodyguards woulda whooped her b4 she had a chance. ;op” He chuckled. “If she managed 2 get thru them, I aint no wimp.” He added, flexing his arms a little to prove his point. You almost couldn’t stop staring. He had to know what he was doing to you…right? Granted, this was a crush you had no intention of pursuing. If you were speaking honestly, Marvus was a guy who probably didn’t want commitment due to his lifestyle. Even then, he had people throwing themselves at him constantly. People his own species. People who were a lot better fitting with his general aesthetic and not some poor wandering alien that he would DM when he was high when they both should have been sleeping. Your own concepts of relationships and types of love were different. But you could dream, right? You were content with just having him as your designated hot friend anyway. …That did mean you were allowed to drool over him in your mind. As long as it doesn’t get creepy to him. Yeah. You were fine.

“u gud (Y/N)? u tryna lure snacks into ur mouth or smth?” You snapped out of your stupor.

“Ew! Gross! I don’t eat bugs like you weirdos!”

“it aint gross. literally free snacks u can catch. :o)” He laughed.

“Where I’m from they’re gross!” Granted, there were places that did eat crickets and the like on Earth, but you would never tell him that.

“dun knock it till ya try it.” He got up and left the room, returning after a moment with a small box.

“…What is that.” You had a sinking feeling you knew what it was.

“chirp grubs.” He opened it and there they were. Disgusting caramelized crickets.

“I can’t.” You shook your head.

“more 4 me lol.” You looked away as he ate a few of the crickets. You looked back at him when his palmhusk rang. It sounded like a clown horn version of one of his songs. Fitting, honestly.

He glanced at it and rolled his eyes before silencing the phone.

“Who was that?”

“thottie.”

“Oh…” He looked bored again. Not good. What could you talk to him about to keep him interested?

“Uh…You ever get tired of the fans trying to aggressively pail you?” Ok, that wasn’t the best choice for conversation. Your bad.

“i meannn….in the beginning yeah. now its kinda the norm 4 me ufeelme?”

“Yeah, I guess. Does it ever make you feel like you can’t have a relation-er, quadrant?” You assumed it would, but that would also come with fame in general, wouldn’t it? You weren’t sure. Then again, if he didn’t want-

“kinda. i think its kinda funny how i can attract psychos, fans and thots, but not my crushes.” You sat up straight. Marvus had a crush?

“Wait. You…uh…are pale or um….red? for somebody?” You didn’t have the best grasp on quadrant terms.

“lol sumtimes i forget your an alien.” He leaned back onto the couch.

“butt yeah, i have a few crushes at the mo.” He smiled, staring at the ceiling.  Few. He has more than one crush right now. That soft smile said it all. He had it bad.

“…Can you tell me who they are?” He looked over at you and looked sheepish.

“i…dun think is a gud idea.”

“Please? I have to know who the great Marvus Xoloto has a crush on.”

“u kno 1. itll be awk af :o(“ Now you had to know. Now you were thinking about whether or not Marvus had a type. What if they were all mega hot models? Wait! Did he have a crush on Chahut? They would totally have to know each other. Who else did you both know??? He heard of Cirava, but you didn’t think they talked. Who???

“…kk fine. only if u slam a faygo tho.” You gave him a look.

“Isn’t Faygo…not for non-clowns?”

“is just us. whos gunna kno?”

“You promise nobody’s gonna know?”

“on my life. u slam a faygo, n ill tell u who my flush be.” You thought it over. You remembered tasting the stuff at clown church when you went you went with Chahut that one time. Just a sip left you a bit tipsy. A whole bottle may have rendered you unable to be coherent enough to even process who his flush crush was. Would it be worth it? You felt a choice coming on. Either way you had to drink a certain amount in order to maybe try and learn this random troll’s identity. The question was, do you try and counter his offer or just slam the entire bottle and hope for the best?

…

It would be better to respect your own limits. A bunch of your friends had lectured you a few times over putting yourself out just to potentially make a friend. This would piss them off and would probably not end in your favor even if you did decide to just go with it anyway.

“How much faygo do I have to drink?”

“hm…” He got up, went to the kitchen and got a small can of Grape Faygo, a normal bottle for one and a whole 2 liter bottle. “imma b nice. u get a choice. u gotta try 2 finish the can. u get 1 q with the name if u finish the can. Smol bottle gets u 2 qs and the name n the 2L gets u as many qs as u liek. fair enough 2 u?”

…Now you wanted to chug the 2 liter. You haven’t even seen anyone try to down that other than the Grand High Blood once when you took Karako to clown church for the first time. But that guy was a clown and he is HUGE. You, not so much. But, you chose to respect yourself for once. You’d see how you felt after the small can and go from there. You picked it up, opened the can and took a deep breathe. Powers that be, let this not wreck you and let this answer be worth it. If he cops out with his answers, you would try to hurt him. You started chugging. You did your best to try and treat it like a shot like Cirava taught you so you wouldn’t taste the overly sweet flavor too much. After a moment of light agony and attempting to not drown in the soda, you reached the end of the can. You slammed it onto the coffee table and started panting. Ok, you weren’t feeling woozy like before. Maybe those tiny sips when you went to clown church helped your body get used to it.

“u gunna try the otha bottles?” You managed to shake your head. You weren’t gonna do that again. Your head started hurting. You looked over at him. Were his eyes always so vibrantly purple? Woah, now they’re flashing purple. What the heck? Was this Faygo high? You now understood why all the other clowns were so goofy after drinking a cup of this stuff. Crap, now your head was starting to hurt.

“Wh-Who….who is it..?” You started feeling like you were gonna pass out. You laid down on the couch. You needed to close your eyes. That was way too much for you. You felt Marvus pick you up into his arms.

“ye…after u wake up bb.” Wake up? Wait, did he just call you a pet name?! You were about to question him when he tilted his head.

“dangg,, u managed 2 stay awake with chuckles and faygo? ur stronger than i thought. Soz bout this babes.” His eyes became blindingly vibrant again and you blacked out.

[beesatthedisco]

How does this even work...

Okay, so I’ve been on tumblr since before the first time they very slightly changed the shade of blue and I hope that in and of itself is enough to help y’all know... I’m ancient. (I’m 27, and will only rp with ppl 18+, sorry friendos)

Somehow, despite being on tumblr and despite having made about a million accounts for various things in my day, I’ve not made an RP account, and don’t really know how to get started. I guess I’m just gonna put down what I know about myself and what I’m looking for here and hope for the best, but I’d be open to any kind of protips from those of you who have been using tumblr to find rp for much longer.

RIP to your eyes ahead of time, this is a long post. If you want to skip to the part where I share my Original plots, pairings, and fandom cravings, please just scroll to the end and accept my humble apologies. (Highkey I copied this out of my google doc, don’t shoot me.)

I enjoy writing both original plots and fandom stuff. When RPing within a fandom setting, I'm open to playing as canons, as ocs, or any combination of both. I'm open to co-creating settings inspired but not based in fandoms, and open to playing AU or canon settings as well. When originals are involved, I prefer co-creating our worlds together, so we're both invested in the landscape that our characters inhabit. Speaking of characters- I'll play as any gender and in any pairing type- I hope that this is the same for you. I love writing a broad spectrum of characters to keep things interesting for myself and to practice viewing the world through different perspectives. I feel it's difficult to do this when being forced or pigeonholed into writing as a gender you DEMAND of me. However... I can be flexible, and if your ideas are interesting enough, I may just give you what you ask for anyways, haha. I'm perfectly open to playing multiple characters, whether it's a broad interactive cast of mains and background characters, a system of noninteracting or separate sets of doubles, triples, you name it, or whatever other configuration of multiple-character-playing you prefer.

I'm not too terribly concerned about post lengths and am open to writing with people who might be new to the RP scene. I'm pretty flexible about how much I'll write. A good rule of thumb for myself is that I tend to respond with more when I have more to work with. That doesn't always mean that there are more words on your post for me to respond to; instead, I mean that if your post has enough ideas, inspiration, and momentum, I can go buckwild with my posts. My comfort zone seems to be around 4-6 paragraphs per post, but I've been known to write either a lot more in particularly thrilling rps. If I'm writing a huge post- don't feel daunted or expected to match length. I love all sized posts!!! I'm just overly enthusiastic and get carried away sometimes. (This means you can also at any time tell me to chill out on how much I'm writing. ) When it comes to writing style, I only have a few hard expectations of you- I do not engage in roleplay featuring the 'would' style of writing. (For example: "She would pick up the rock and inspect it closely.") I don't exactly know why I dislike this tense so much, but it pulls me right out of the immersion of writing/reading and tends to entirely destroy my interest in the story. I'm sorry. Next, I care at least a little about punctuation and spellchecking. If you're roleplaying online, you have access to ways to make sure that you're not just submitting gibberish. If you need help finding those resources... feel free to ask!

I'm open to the idea of making profiles for our characters, but I'm okay without making them too. I'm also vaguely ambivalent to 'beautifying' our posts, should we do them somewhere that allows that sort of thing. I'm fine with any style of reference images, or with not using them at all. I can't promise I won't send you songs and images and memes that remind me of our story, though! Also- I'm super down for dice systems if we decide to go that route (and prefer dice systems if we include combat of any variety in our story.) I love romance, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the drive of our plot if that's not your style. My favorite genres to write in are science fiction, any variety of fantasy, horror, drama, historical settings, wild western settings, and mysteries.

Last but not least, I tend to like making friends with my writing partners. I prefer writing with people I actually get along with, so for me, the plotting phase is the most important. It helps me get to know your personality a bit more, and you mine, so we both know whether or not it's a good match to write long term! I'll write on most platforms, so let's discuss what makes the most sense for us. Finally, I generally only write with folks 18+, for the safety of everyone involved. Thanks for understanding.

Well, as I said, I've got a big ol list of ideas, if any of this strikes you as 'good writing friend' material, so send me a DM and I'll get back to you asap! Feel free to share your ideas too!!!

Original Ideas

- There's something dire down in the mines to the east of this old Western town. Folks keep goin' in to investigate, disappearin' for days at a time, then comin' back all different-like with the lights gone from their eyes. What could be happenin' out there, sheriff? (horror/western)

- A high-fantasy world's balance is shattered when the source of magic is destroyed. How will the people of this mystical land navigate a now mundane life, and how can they survive when so many magical devices go defunct and awry?

- A no-magic world is suddenly spun into chaos: an apocalyptic event leads to the sudden introduction of magic into a world that had previously never known it. In the post-apocalyptic (and mystically-charged) ashes of a world that once was, how do the survivors compete for resources and control?

- A star falls from the sky! They're rare, and it's dangerous to be one. Are you the star, hunted and lost? Or are you someone who finds a star?

- A lich (my character) is rumored to live in the castle at the foot of the mountains, only a mile or so from your town. It's said they're a true villain, the worst of the worst... but what is the truth?

-Arranged Marriages between physical embodiments of the seasons or planets

- There's something dire down in the mines to the east of this old Western town. Folks keep goin' in to investigate, disappearin' for days at a time, then comin' back all different-like with the lights gone from their eyes. What could be happenin' out there, sheriff? (horror/western)

-A sailor, pirate, or other seafarer keeps noticing the same shape in the waters near their ship. After a terrible storm, the ship wrecks… now, one’s a mermaid, one’s a sailor, and they’re both idiots trying to find their way back home.

-Disaster has struck! A grisly assassination attempt leads a bodyguard to quickly usher their liege to safety. Drama ensues!

-Stowaways, and the people who catch 'em!

- Androids and more androids! Or... androids and non-androids!

-In a dwindling-magic world, those who cling to the olde magicks and the old way of living struggle against the new capitalist society and its nonmagic technology. In one still-magickal neighborhood where our story takes place, shopkeepers fight against nonmagickal gentrification in an effort to keep their businesses, communities, and traditions alive.

- A wandering traveler gets caught in a storm and chances upon an abandoned home, castle, or manor.... oh no!

- A train hopping crust punk encounters the ghost of a fellow train-hopper who fell under the rails and died.

- A living person's computer, gaming device, or phone is inhabited by a flirty ghost!

- There's a friendly but sad ghost living in a living person's new home! (Can you tell I like ghosts?)

Original (and corny) pairing ideas

fairy or elf / vampire or other dark creature

vampire / human

god / mortal

demon / angel or other dark/light archetypical pairings

dragon / humanoid

naval captain / stowaway

mob boss / citizen

superhero / supervillain

serial killer / investigator

serial killer / citizen

Bounty hunter/outlaw

outlaw/sherriff

outlaw/outlaw

farmhand/outlaw

Current Fandom Interests/Cravings

Pokemon - preferably with ocs and in a custom setting ft. all the ‘mons/us playing as humans

Elder Scrolls - pls, i’m craving this almost more than anything, and have been for years

Red Dead Redemption - it is cowboy time now

Legend of Zelda - i have a couple of cute ideas for this!

Avatar/Legend of Korra

Labyrinth - please please please someone play jareth for me, ill give you my firstborn in exchange

Star Wars - currently a little burned out on playing as kylo for everyone, so please don’t ask me to be him dlfkjdslfj

Game of Thrones

Lord of the Rings

Night in the Woods

Brutal Legend - does anyone but me remember this??? Omfg lets rp in this setting PLS

The Dragon Prince

[blissfulalchemist]

Bloodlines/VA Lore

Okay let’s see if I can compress 12 books of lore for you all as some background for my OCs universe and because vampire lore can be just about anywhere so its nice to know exactly how this one looks.

Okay to start Bloodlines/Vampire Academy is a book series that was written by Richelle Mead and takes some of influence of Eastern European vampiric lore. I could not tell you how much is her creation and how much from the original lore as I have not looked that deep into it. Below the cut though you will get a general idea of the races along with the organizations as pertinent events of the series will be explained within the writing as needed given that Hypatia has very little knowledge of them happening. There has now been a list of important characters also in this list!  

If anything isn’t making sense or want to talk about it more feel free to dm me anytime!

Races

Moroi

Living vampires that can die via any human means, they can live longer than the average human. This race of vampires need blood but nothing in the levels of killing and can go a little while without it, though it is recommended to not go past a week at most as they get weaker without it. In terms of the sun yes they can go out and not burn/turn into dust, however the sun does make them uncomfortable very quickly and also makes them weaker. And due to their typically paler skin they are prone to sunburn. When it comes to their bite they cannot change someone else into a vampire, their bite does produce a high when they drink from a person. The last notable feature of this race is that each one is connected to one of the five elements and can perform magic. The most common ones are Air, Water, Fire, and Earth, the rarest of these is Spirit which has the ability to heal, look into minds, see auras, and telekinesis. These powers can range from person to person with everyone having specialties, so to speak, there is a downside that their other fellow Moroi do not have in relation to their magic, and that is the toll that it takes on the mind. Many fall victim to the psychological effects resulting in various forms of mental illness, many temper this by taking medication, limiting their usage of it, or turning Strigoi in some cases. Notable physical features that are typical includes pale skin, slimmer build, and some extra height, seen especially with females.

tl;dr- Living, born with magic, can be in sunlight, need small amounts of blood daily(though can go a while without it)

Dhampir

This race was bred from when humans and Moroi intermingled and while there has been a seperation of the races dhampirs still remain as they can reproduce with Moroi but not other dhampirs. Now this would lead one to believe that they just become more vampire than human but nope, they still stay half human half Moroi. Given their vampire heritage they get things like higher agility, stamina, strength, and reflexes. Because of these traits they made for the perfect guardians to the Moroi that are hunted by their undead counter parts. Many are trained from young ages to be lethal in preparation for a life of serving as protectors. In reccent times there has been a shortage of dhampirs as there is a slight taboo of Moroi sleeping and having children with them(gotta love those kind of judgements), this also isn’t helped as many women choose to raise their children themselves rather than be on duty and letting their children be raised by the schools. This race does not need blood and do not have fangs. There is no aversion to the sun in anyway as this is where their human side really kicks in. 

tl;dr- Living, mix of human and Moroi, agile and deadly, trained to be protectors and can easily kill a person, blood not needed for survival, no aversion to sun.

Human

Humans are well humans like you and me. Anything special that comes from them is worked for. Typically humans do not know about the existence of vampires and their whole little world, the ones that do are either a part of an organization(which I will have next) or are employed in some way by either the living or undead ones. Humans serve a purpose among the Moroi as feeders, these are people that are willingly giving up their blood for them and are well cared for typically(there’s always those people), in exchange they get to live in a state of bliss due to the endorphins in their bite. When employed by the Strigoi they are promised the eternal life in exchange for their help in their bidding, ranging from luring prey to taking down magical wards preventing them from entering a place to just house keeping. Some humans learn magic and are classified as witches, this is something that one must have a natural inclination along with proper training as to perform spells. Witches are less known among all races.

Strigoi

The undead, the vampires of your nightmares. This race is one that can be created by choice or by force. To be created by choice a Moroi must kill when feeding drinking to the last drop, creation by force involves a Strigoi to drink from their victim and then have the victim drink some of their blood. The latter method is what is used for choice among dhampirs and humans in this matter. They are the strongest of the races and get strength as they live longer along with feeding on dhampir and Moroi blood. They will kill when feeding as they drink the full person, while they can go a few days without blood many opt to not do that and feed daily. Their bites also produce the same high as their living counter parts. This race will absolutely burn when exposed to the sun and it will kill them. There are three other methods to kill a Strigoi if you can’t just push them into sunlight, you can either set them on fire, cut their heads off, or (and most commonly used method) using a silver steak imbued with the four elements right to the heart. This method is most commonly used as this is a specialty that is taught to dhampirs when becoming a guardian and are given a stake upon graduation. Strigoi that were once Moroi can no longer tap into their magic once becoming part of the undead, because of this Strigoi cannot cross over the magical wards placed around buildings. There is one way to save a Strigoi from this life, if you get a Moroi that specialized in the element of spirit that drives a steak through their heart while wielding their magic it will return them to their living selves. This is something that is rare to see as Spirit is a rare element to specialize in and it takes a great toll to be wielding that much magic and has harsher consequences. Other notable physical features is their dead pale skin and red eyes, along with the addition of fangs if they were once human or dhampir. 

tl;dr- Undead, sun kills them, blood is needed and will kill their victims even if its slowly, needs special methods to be killed, cannot perform magic. There is one way to save them but it takes a toll on the savior and is rarely done. Once a Strigoi has been restored to life they cannot become one again.

Organizations

Moroi Royalty

The Moroi are an old race and have kept to traditions which includes having a sort of monarchy. There are 12 royal families of which the king or queen is chosen from using a series of challenges along with a vote from the council between those that passed the challenges after the passing or stepping down of the predecessor. The eldest of each royal family is given the title of prince or princess and is on the council that helps in making decisions for the whole race of Moroi, with the tie breaker and ultimate say coming from the ruling king or queen. Current Queen is Vasilisa Dragomir. Should be noted that not all Moroi are royal, but are allowed to attend the same schools as them even if it seems like a private school.

Guardians

Dhampirs are trained to become guardians from a young age and upon the completion of their high school education will be assigned to a royal or royal family for their protection. Once gaining some seniority and experience they can become professors and help in the guarding of their schools around the world. They do not get much say in their lives and are at the whims of their assignments. There is a gender disparity among them as many women choose to raise the children they have and do not take to being a guardian. These women will typically band together and have communities that soon take on stereotypes of being equated to whore houses to put it bluntly. The women that do become guardians and stay that way, don’t always have children and if they do typically give them to someone else to raise while they return to work. They are typically seen as the career focused business women trope. You can usually tell the difference in if someone is a guardian by the tattooed promise mark on the back of their neck paired with a mark for graduation. Dhampirs will also gain tattoos on the back of their neck for the killing of Strogoi whether promised or not.

The Keepers

The Keepers are groups of people that live off the grid and do not adhere to the same rules and customs of their races as their communities comprise of humans, Moroi, and dhampirs. They keep to themselves away from the royal politics, train everyone to fight and defend themselves, and keep away from modern society mostly. They are not a known group to many and are really kept an eye on via The Alchemists that provide supplies and care when needed. These people also do have the same silver stakes and warding to help in their protection from the Strogoi. And yes there is some polyamory among them to help keep a balance of the races.

Alchemists

The Alchemists are a group as old as the Moroi have been around. This is a group based in science, religion, and paper work. Their primary goal is to keep the outside world from knowing about vampires and their doings. They have both a mixture of field agents and those that are behind a desk. Many in this organization are born into it and most training starts at home and many will start off in the organization as teenagers. The marking of an Alchemist is a golden tattooed lily on their left cheek that is imbued with some magic from the Moroi. These tattoos help in the longevity of a human along with a spell preventing them to tell anyone about the vampiric world unless the person already knows about it. While they work with the Moroi, they do not like them or dhampirs and find them as evil as their undead counter parts, tis a necessary evil for the protection of humanity. It is frowned upon to be even slightly friendly to them and doing so can be cause for a trip to their Re-Education Center. Some have gotten out and brand themselves with an indigo tattoo to help negate the magic in the golden tattoos. 

The Sun Warriors

This a group that are very active in hunting down vampires with the primary objective being the undead Strogoi. They were bred from The Alchemists but severed ties as their methods of dealing with vampires did not match up. Many are also born into this profession, but are trained to fight and kill. If the Alchemists are the brains, these guys are the brawn. They are marked by a sun tattoo that can be placed anywhere. They hold many of the same beliefs as the Alchemists and also do hold religious connotations still. 

Witches

There is no formal organization for this group as many involve themselves with their smaller covens with some being bigger than others. There are rules that are followed by all and ways to deal with what happens when rules are broken. Some are born into this life while many are brought into the life via a skilled witch who takes someone with raw magic and makes them their apprentice. These are skills that are learned later in life and are less known to others, though they keep an eye and many know of the existence of vampires.

Important Characters(This will be Updated as needed)

Rose Hathaway

Rose is a dhampir guardian that was the main protagonist in the Vampire Academy series (the books being told from her perspective). She was a teenager when she died in a car accident wherein her best friend, Lissa brought her back from the dead via spirit magic this caused her to be Spirit Bound to her. Once her love interest becomes a Strigoi she drops out of school (again) and goes to hunt him down to kill him. She is unsuccessful in this endeavor but does find out who her father is. She and Lissa do find out about how to restore Strigoi and restore her love interest Dimitri. She was then falsely blamed and accused of killing the former Queen Tatiana. Her innocence is proven wherein she suffers another near death(technically dead for a little bit there) experience where in she is no longer Spirit Bound to her friend and the new Queen Lissa, with whom she becomes a guardian too.

Vasilisa “Lissa” Dragomir

Current Queen of the Moroi and the youngest being only 18 when elected, she is one of two remaining heirs to the Dragomir line, the other being a half-sister named Jill. She had a specialization in Spirit magic and is the reason as to why Rose came back to life after the car accident that killed the rest of her family. Lissa was also the one to restore Dimitri to his former self after becoming Srigoi. 

Dimitri Belikov

Eddie Castile

Sydney Sage-Ivashkov

Adrian Ivashkov

Abe Mazur

Marcus Finch