#maybe ill take a break. maybe ill keep shitposting. who knows

[glamorousnightmares]

TW: g0re art, f3t1ish art, mental illness

Hello everyone, it's been a while since I've made a sincere post and really been on here. I apologize to my online friends who I feel like I've abandoned, my irl life has gotten quite busy.

It's taken me too long to make a post about this but I think it's time to finally face my fear and admit to somethings I never even wanted to think about again. No one made any callouts or did anything to scare me into this, I just want to rid myself of feeling so guilty about the things I've done. It isn't easy to come on here and talk about it, but I need to address what I've done so that I won't hide it any longer than I have. All of everything i talk about is public and I'm mixed on if i will take it down just so I can be reminded of who I was before and to never, ever return to anything like it again.

A few years back, 2021 I think, I got on Tumblr for the very first time. I was not ready for anything like this and I should have waited until I got right in the head space to get on a platform like this. Before then, I had a discord, which I spewed so many words I no longer agree with or stand by. I have changed and grown over the years, almost a new person but with the scars of my past always leaning over me. I didn't fully understand what I was talking about or what I said. To be clear, it wasn't a slur or something, it was a really shitty take on something I thought was right but now I see is severly fucked up. I no longer stand by what i said. I won't get into the details, but if you want them just dm me and ask. If nothing else, this is a callout to myself and who I was before.

Now the worst part and what still haunts me to this day. (To preface, this is where the tw starts, tread carefully.) When I first got my tumblr, I didn't know the dangers of the internet fully. I didn't think about any actions I did, I just wanted to be seen. I will be blunt, I reblogged g0re art and f3tish gore art because of multiple reasons. (None of which are right don't get me wrong)

1. I was not and will never EVER be attracted to anything like that, it was NOT a f3t1sh thing, my brain was just attached to it because of some fucked up things of my past. I won't get specific, that's just what I wanted to see and reblog at the time. I've blocked out a lot of it to be honest, so i don't remember some of why I looked at/ shared such horrible images. Thinking about it now makes me sick and I want nothing more than to bring to light what I've done and seen so that no one will use something like this against me or hurt others with it. It was a sort of "comfort the disturbed, disturb the comforted" type thing.

2. It would shock those I talked to and make me look "insane" and "crazy" so I could be different. I hate those people now and I refuse to ever be like that again, and remembering who I was and how it affected others makes me steer clear of ever even considering being like it again. G0re art and f3t1sh g0re art will never ever be allowed on my blog or anywhere near it again. I wish I could go back and erase all of it, and I have done my best to do so. If you see anything like that, please for the love of God don't interact with it. If you are hurting to the point where you feel as if you need to or are hurting others, please seek help. You are not alone and there is always a brighter day. If you are thinking about doing anything like what any of those pictures showed, please tell someone close to you and do not hurt yourself or anyone around you. Someone will always listen and cares about you, I promise.

Another thing was the way I treated others back then was shitty, and while I had so much fun with everyone that I met, talked to, or just had a few interactions with, I hold all of them incredibly close to my heart. I will try to interact on here more and do my best to be a better person with strong morals and the best intentions.

Saying all of this leads me to one thing I should have said more back then; I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was like that and how I treated others. I'm sorry I had to put all of you through that just because of things going on in my own life. You all deserved better and I needed to be better.

Living with what I've done, said, and shown had been tough, I'm not going to lie. I'm not trying to make it a sob story, I'm just being honest. But it was important to who I am today and what it makes me as a person. Was it right? No, it never will be no matter how much I try to justify it. But learning from it and taking away the lessons is more important than anything. I hope this could clear some air and shine light on who I was so that I will never become like that again, hurting others and only showing and being the worst the world has to offer. Making not the world, but at least some corner of it brighter and better than It was will be my main goal now. I no longer want to be hurtful, I want to help those who need it. If there is one thing I will strive for, it is to be better.

With love and high hopes,

-Glam��

[reki-of-the-valley]

Vent post feel free to ignore me. Just gotta exteriorize a bit

But like...... I'm tired. I'm just so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Everything feels heavy. And I know it's just an episode, that I'll feel okay in not too long, or maybe it will take some time, maybe I'll be tired for months, but rn? Heavy. And you can feel it in my writing. You can feel how heavy I feel. I never hide how I feel, I put that on display rather plainly because it helps me take steps forwards. Writing is an outlet for me. But it's also a mask. A mask to all my feelings. One step forward is one step back.

Things are rough rn. And I know I'm fortunate in life. I'm in uni, I'm studying something I should love, but it's just... Heavy. It's the only word I have today. It's the only word that feels adequate. A weight I want to get rid of but that's stuck on me.

What do I mean should love? Easy: I love literature. Despite what I say about being illiterate, I do genuinely love reading. I love finding pretty phases and words. I love feeling emotions that aren't mine but that are nonetheless real. I love being touched by an idea. I love reading because I hope, i sincerely hope that what I write can make someone else love reading. And you know when Langa asks Reki if he can be the only one who doesn't know how to ollie and Reki says sure but you won't really get anywhere if you don't learn? Yeah. I tried to do that but with reading. Be the only writer who doesn't read. I quickly learned that it doesn't work like that and i quickly learned that I do love literature. So I decided to major in it. Because I'm supposed to love it.

But studying something you love is not always.... It's heavy sometimes. It's heavy and mixed with my heavy anxiety... It's not a match made in heaven.

I am an extremely anxious person. I don't think I've ever hidden that about myself. I've always been rather honest about my anxiety and how I can get these fits of anxiety very suddenly and I can spiral into a panic very easily. It's something I know I have to deal with, that I've learned to manage even if it is hard to get out of my head sometimes. Hell, just posting fics causes a great deal of anxiety because of that fear of "what if it's terrible." Pleasure and anxiety somehow go hand in hand for me and it's weird. Weird but in the end, my panic does vanish and the happiness I find in sharing my stories comes out on top.

But anxiety is something exhausting. It's exhausting when there is no counter to it. So while I feel anxious every time I post to ao3, the feeling of happiness associated to telling stories and sharing them with all of you far outweighs the panic I feel, the spiralling, the what ifs. There's that counter, anxiety vs pleasure. For school... There is no counter. There's nothing to balance out the fear, the panic, the spiralling. And that's when I know it gets out of hand.

It's been awhile since I've felt this bad. It's been precisely 5 months since I've felt this heavy. I've had 5 months with minor panics, minor attacks, but outweighed by so many pleasing moments that they didn't mean anything to me. I didn't let them hurt me. Because I was doing something that genuinely felt amazing, like i was flying. Especially in the past 2 months.

Now I don't want to be overly sappy, but the Sk8 fandom has done wonders for me. I feel far more confident, I'm passionate about the boys, I have nearly 150 of you guys following me, there's fanart done about my shitposts and fics (I love you so much you don't understand how much those mean to me), and my writing has touched quite a bit of people. And sometimes it makes me cry because I've never had this much attention on me. And maybe it doesn't seem like much, but to me, it means the world. You guys mean the world to me. (I remember going through stories on insta the other day and seeing my fics being recced by an artist that I really look up to. I sobbed. Or sometimes I get notifs about people bookmarking my fics and I recognize the names and I'm just there like ??? How did this happen???)

So I had months of feeling uplifted, but now? Yeah, all of this still makes me feel great, but real life? Not so much. Real life sometimes I just want to quit it. Not in a death way, not anymore, but in a "I don't want to do anything anymore" way. Because it feels heavy. Feeling sick every time I have to get up, it feels heavy. Feeling nauseous as hold a novel, it's heavy. Feeling like shit, that choked up horrid feeling of illness that never really comes every time I open my computer, it's heavy. Anxiety is heavy. Fear of not preforming properly, of stumbling in my act of the perfect scholar, it's heavy. And today felt like my breaking point. Today was the worst I've felt in a long time. Today, anxiety induced illness pushed me to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out.

I don't remember what my point was when I started writing this 20 minutes ago. Maybe it was just to vent. Maybe it was a no filter moment, put all my thoughts down and hopefully feel better. Maybe it was just a moment of heaviness that felt too unbearable for me to keep it to myself, hide it within me like I've been routinely doing for the past 20 years (ok, fine, probably more like 8 years but whatever. I don't know when the anxiety really started to come up. I wan to say when I started high school and felt the need to top everyone. Compensate for something I was missing. Praise? Was that what I wanted? Was praise all I craved? Validation? Are those the things I seek when I out myself out there? I should know what I want but I'm ignorant to my own desires.) There was a reason for me to start this, but the reason I do not remember. Maybe I've just been too engulfed in my own misery. Maybe this moment will pass, that I'll move on to a new moment, one where I don't feel like utter shit. Maybe this is a way of trying to move forward. Maybe this is just the consequence of me writing for 12 hours about how confessions allow the confessor to breathe, rid themselves of their shame and begin life again. Maybe that's what I want. Maybe I just want to get rid of the shame I feel about my anxiety.

I don't know of this is coherent. I broke down crying halfway through it

[improper-integral]

@so-very-slytherin tagged me for this, thanks so much! I made a separate post as the original was getting pretty long. If anyone wants to do this, feel free to do so and say I tagged you! 😅

Name/nickname: My full first name is Brianna, but I go by Bri online and with friends

Gender: cis woman

Star sign: Leo, but my personality is far from the stereotypical Leo

Height: 5'11. Yes I'm tall

Time: 1:10 PM

Favorite band: Ahh this is tough, I don't really know! Some of my favorites include Florence + the Machine, Maroon 5, Panic! at the Disco, and OneRepublic

Birthday: August 12

Favorite solo artists: This is also tough. They include Hayley Kiyoko, Halsey, Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, and Jason Mraz

Song stuck in my head: This song from Reunion: Sound of Providence. Zhu Yilong actually sings in it!!

Last movie: Do I even watch movies anymore? Not really. It's either the Old Guard on Netflix or Happiest Season on Hulu

Last show: S.C.I.

When did I create this blog: Early 2010. I don't remember exactly when.

What I post: A truly bewildering mixture of shit from multiple fandoms, memes/shitposts, politics, and mental illness/addiction recovery stuff. I'm grateful to all of you who choose to stick around despite my blog being so unpredictable

Other blogs: Not really. I'm hoarding a few URLs though

Why I chose this URL: "alivorte" means "in other words" in Esperanto. If you don't know, Esperanto is an artificial/created language, not a natural one. It was designed to be very easy to learn, and it is. Esperanto grammar is truly remarkable and beautiful. I focused on this particular word because of the way it breaks down: "ali" is a prefix meaning "other", "vort" is a stem meaning "word", and "-e" is a grammatical suffix that indicates an adverb. The end result is a word that is straightforward to understand, and it sounds beautiful to boot. Still, it's a strange URL to have on tumblr, so I'm considering changing it to one of the URLs I'm hoarding. We'll see.

Do I get asks: Very rarely, though I've been getting more asks and mentions in the last few months than my previous decade on tumblr, so I really appreciate that!

Last thing I googled: "esperanto dictionary" to confirm I remembered how alivorte broke down correctly lol

How many people I follow: 909 😲 Though I think most of them are dead accounts. I've been on tumblr a long time. I'll have to clean it up at some point.

Followers: 491, though I suspect the bulk of them are porn bots I never blocked lol

Average hours of sleep: 8-9 maybe? I haven't been keeping track.

Lucky number: I don't really have one

Instruments: None. I've never been interested in learning a musical instrument. The only musical thing I've had interest in is singing.

What I'm wearing: A business casual type dress (which makes up the bulk of my wardrobe nowadays) that's blue, white, beige and black in a chaotic pattern.

Dream trip: I have a few. One is a mega road trip going in a circle around the US, starting with taking the 10 in SoCal, take it all the way to the east coast, take the 95 up the east coast until I hit the 90 in Boston, then take the 90 to Seattle, then take the 5 down til I'm back home in SoCal (or take the trip in reverse). I also want to take road trips to various National Parks all over the country. Finally, recently I've been fantasizing about getting good enough at Mandarin to visit China, Taiwan, Hong Kong (I know Hong Kong uses Cantonese/Traditional and not Mandarin/Simplified but I still want to go) and Singapore.

Favorite food: Chocolate, pizza and mac and cheese

Nationality: American

Favorite song: This never stays constant, but at the moment it's the Guardian opening theme song "We Won't Be Falling" It's one of the most epic songs I've ever listened to. I've listened to it on repeat countless times over the last couple months and have yet to get sick of it.

Last book I read: A Mathematician's Lament by Paul Lockhart. It discusses the failings of how math is taught in the US

Top three fictional universes: I'll just name my current top 3 fandoms: Guardian, the Untamed and Supernatural.

[goffilolo]

Demise!Izuku as a Youtuber?

Yep! You heard me right. Demise server is a strange little land, full of strange little ideas, unfortunitely this one idea in particular wasn’t so little. So without further ado here’s all the shit we came up with in the server in regards to izuku as a youtuber within demise!au:

If Izuku was a YouTuber can you imagine the fucking chaos dumpster fire his channel would be

He's be like an edgy twink Jenna marbles(edited)

Doing Me time every damn day

bandit is jennas dogs

tenya is julien

He'd have weird ass videos like dipping bandits feet in red pet dye then putting a sign on him that says "you pet and you'll meet the last person who dared to"(edited)

And he's also make videos about him breaking into UA and interrupting classes and stuff

"hey gamers, today we're breaking into UA to see my boyfriend and read all of my friend's secret files"

And a video just of him filing Aizawa in weird places and at the end putting him on an inflatable mattress and watching him float away 

He wakes up in Canada

They don't know how or why

He just attaches a go-pro to trash bandit and let's him run wild. He probably has a seriesJust letting him loose in weird places

DONT LET TRASH BANDIT EAT AIZAWA'S SLEEPING BAG AT 3AM | VERY SCARY"hey guys so today ill be doing the 'How many bottles of quil can i steal before i get caught by Tsukabitch' challange. feel free to make a video of your own!" 

He probably dyes Bandit according to holidays and puts him as the profile picture. The kicker is, he only does it for holidays that his country doesn't celebrate

Like 4th of july

And Canada day

"Hewo soulless fuckers it is me your overlord, King of the soulless fuckers. Today I'll be going up to people in the streets and telling them that I killed God and Satan. But y'all know me, that's not enough. So I'll be asking them which one I killed first and if they get it wrong I take a shot of quil. The quil I'll be taking is the plain ol kind so don't worry your little marshmallow heads about it." 

He only makes text posts in OwO speak this just makes me realise demise!izuku would make a great youtuber

He would twitch stream all the time doing the weirdest shit for hours on end

"what is up gamews! today i wiww be weviewing the new game cawwed life! i have been pwaying it fow about 16 yeaws now and i have to say it's pwetty bad my guys!"

I feel like he'd be absurdly popular and whenever someone mentions him and they look up the channel they are like "wth have I stumbled upon?!"

I'm just imagining what his front page would look like

The seasonal trash bandit profile picture, the banner would be a flaming hellscape with people he dislikes burning and trash bandit looming on low opacity in the background 

(He made it so that only people who view it on TV get the full experience.)

He probably has his own segment on buzzfeed unsolved

Not talking

Its about him

The intro video would just be him staring into the camera while mixing together a horrible concoction of quil then downing it without breaking eye contact(edited)

His about section is written in 3 different types of code and it's all in owo if you manage to crack it

i love demise|!izuku as a youtube cryptid

Clown Speak and OwO speak mixed together

I feel like in the beginning Izuku was this obscure YouTuber that you only find out about if someone in the know tells you about it until a bigger YouTuber found him out on a deep dive video and just couldn't stop watching yes

i imagine once he gets big people from react channel would invite him to react to videos of people reacting to his videos 

What if in one of his videos he started acting like his old self just to freak everyone out. He didn't say anything about it instead he talked about hero analysis with a bright smile and trail off into muttering a few times only to blush when he realized it. He have his hair in a ponytail with only bangs framing his face and some messy pieces falling out. Also her be wearing something plain but like old Izuku, maybe hero merch or something. The comment section was just people flipping out and shit

He never acknowledges the video after he made it

No matter how many comments he gets he acts like it doesn't exist

omg you know wha tthat would actually allign with the demise and canon swap places for a da

yand you know what that gives me a lot of feels

the millions of subscribers get to see the old izuku

Maybe after a milestone he would post a video he made in middle school of him analyzing a quirk in video format to make sure it wouldn't get destroyed

And he put a couple videos of younger him after it

But it starts being supporting Izuku

And his present and past self and stuff

PEOPLE MAKE FAN ART first Its all full of trash and memes

What if that picture of canon Izuku meeting demise Izuku was a fan art someone made of his old self meeting the new him 

Kids from his class kinda Piecing together they really screwed up?Some even sending in apologies, perhaps

For mental health day I could see him posting a serious video about what he went through and his time in the mental hospital 

And on national stop bullying day he would talk about his decade of abuse including the details of how the school and teachers fucked up and everything aboutbakugou

izuku using youtrube for shitposting and advocating

And for mothers day he features both Rei and Inko?

Endeavor exposure video

What if Rei helped edit or something?To help pass the time for her

Give her something to do

People love the mysterious editor

I feel like villains watch his content like maybe Dabi

rei and fuyumi sometimes make appearances

Dabi just shows up in the videos

Quickly become faves

I feel like Dabi would become a fan and start crying after seeing his mom happy in one of Izuku's videos

"...and this is rei, my hospital mom and this if fuyumi, her daughter so like my sister she helps me keep my shit together and sometimes gives me quil.." 

dabi crying from seeing his mom happy in some lunatic's youtube videos

“...and this is shin, dont let the looks deceive you this man went to jail"

Shin comes in and covers the cameras a lot

FATHERS DAY IS A PICTURE OF TRASH BANDIT WITH HIS DADS VOICE SCRAMBLED OVER IT

“and this is the local florida woman and her alligator

WHAT IF BNHA VERSE HAD QUIRKLESS AWARENESS WEEKizuku would go ape shit during that week

"who needs a quirk when my dad gave me a gun!"

He would give axe sharpening tips

"Remember kids! Society won't help you, so you gotta help yourself!"

he would make 'how to cook videos' except it would only be quil combos

What if one day he just put quil in the ovenand pulled out a muffin

Remeber, don't try this at home kids." makes A horrifying quil combo "rememer never ever do this even if you have a quirk that allows it." downs the horror concoction

"so today were gonna do my boyriend does my makeup challange and since both me and tenya are dumb and know nothing i borrowed my mums makeup..." 

It’s a given he’s gonna do makeup tutorials. The real question is would they be good or absolutely horrendous?

good or horrendous? Both

Amazing makeup at horrendous things? Hmmm interesting

“Hey guys today I’m turning myself into a real like eldrich abomination with the help of eyeliner and glitter!”

izuku has a whole playlist of videos dedicated to tenya and UA

theyre all jsut shitposty compilations of some footage when tenya isnt looking

Even tho it looks like he couldn't give a fuck he is very selective with which footage makes it online. He's very careful at how much is revealed and makes sure no students or secret identities would be in danger with his content

izuku isnt stupid...hes jsut having a good time

Sneaking into UA highschool by hiding in pro hero eraserhead's sleeping bag | NOT CLICKBAIT

Izuku would totally play carefree and childish games while just being Izuku

Like his animal crossing series

Fucking legendary on his channel in terms of gaming

izuku's sims lets play

it's like a 10 generation long telenovela lowkey based off the todoroki family

He has no straight sims, he recreated UA and class 1a in sims

the wedding of sim izuku and sim tenya is like the biggest party in the sim neighbourhood

He creates endeavor just to lock him in a room with 50 ovens

Omg his draw my life has got to be super depressing

He'd be super blunt and monotone during his whole draw my life going through all of the abuse and bullying that he went through because of his quirklessness and also his suicide attempt and all that jazz(edited) 

izuku would paint on a potato

Izuku would make a get ready with me where he does something totally batshit crazy then ends it with "Ah. Yet another day in my life."

Izuku meets Marie Kondo

“Only keep what brings you joy”

“Well this gun from my father sure brings me joy”

Knifemaking videos but with axes

Izuku decided to do a wardrobe tour and like 4 things were bloodstained which he never addressed. The most popular comment was what happened, which of course he never answered.

Izuku does these new year (like all of the questions from last year) or milestone Q+A’s/AMA's which are basically people just asking a bunch of the things he wouldn't answer or address before. A lot of his viewers write down and timestamp when he does something and doesn't address it. If you don't you'll never hear an answer.

He has his boonk gang phrase which is probably like Bandit gang or some shit like that, which he shouts while breaking into places. UA dorm rooms, UA facility office, UA, Hero Agency’s, Endeavour's bedroom (Don't ask), etc. 

He has a variety of videos where he does things from different communities. For example he has a few hair tutorial and following hair tutorial videos. Same for makeup.I feel like Izuku would also have some dresses and slutty Halloween costumes that be put on in a video all while looking like someone who just had finals and was studying for 4 days straight beforehand.

At like 4AM a thought hit Izuku to have Trash Bandit meet Kouta for the first time and learn what his sheep talks about and what he has to say. Needless to say he took his camera, went to UA, stormed the dorms, went up to the shy kid sheep in hand, looked him dead in the eye, and asked “What is my sheep saying.” bandit speaks and Kouta goes from confused and slightly scared to disgusted and horrified. What did Bandit say? Who the fuck knows…

Izuku loves analysis and while he doesn't do it for heroes anymore when he misses it too much sometimes he does it with tv shows or other things.

Idk what yet but Izuku is weirdly good at something and only showed it on camera once. (He's casually known to be a good artist) Whatever he's good at he did it once for a video and it's in one of the most popular compilation videos of him. 15 minutes of Izuku being a cinnamon roll.

Izuku has a shit ton of videos featuring the UA kids. He has some playlists dedicated to certain ones even if all you see is the back of their head.

Any proceeds Izuku manages to get (he is popular but he gets demonetized a lot) goes to different charities for the quirkless.

He made only 1 serious cooking video on his birthday, but instead of using a knife he used an axe.

He has a video called “My sharp things (tour)” where he just shows off all of his knives and axes and shit along with a massive pair of scissors he got Momo to make.

Izuku makes videos of himself destroying endeavor merch while staring at the camera.

[etudaire]

A big bang of “how to” stuff

There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I made up this long ass post for y'all!

So you a potato. Me a potato. World conquered by we potatoes. But potato need survival tips. So your brotato (get it? Bro potato?) help you out. Yay potato. Go go potato.

Study related stuff :

1. Get good grades

Catch concepts, not chapters. Your portion is most likely gonna be super vast, so it’s helpful to know a little something from every chapter rather than knowing just 50% of your syllabus.

Figure out which concepts are important and master them.

Keep all assignments completed at least 1 day before submission date. This isn’t always possible but trust me if you do this you’re guaranteeing marks for proper submission. Job done early? Proof check and add touches to enhance that essay!

Let the teachers know that you’re working hard. I actually passed math because my math teacher knew I was working super hard on my math skills. Participate in the class, gather a bunch of doubts and then dump them on your teacher when the chapter ends.

Try not to miss lectures because chances are you’ll remember that silly mnemonic your friend made up in class and get the answer correct.

Analysis of your exam type is super important. Want me to make a long ass post about it?

2. Be more productive

Having a stuydjo/bujo by your side helps hella lot.

Plan plan plan. Lists, organise lists and colour code them. Basically become Monica Geller Bing and you’re set for life.

Motivational quotes from pinterest almost make me guilty for not being productive and force me to do something.

Before starting your study session, dance around to upbeat music for like 5 minutes. You’ll see the difference I promise.

Seek out inspiration from your smart friends /tumblr friends /people you look up to by constantly reminding yourself about them. I always think of hermione granger because even randomly picturing her with books in my mind ignites that badass boss feeling complying me to study tf up.

3. Manage your time

Studyjo/bujo saves your life.

Wear a watch all the damn time, it will remind you of how much time you’re spending doing nothing. You’ll end up saving several extra minutes!

List out what you’re gonna do every hour of the day on a sticky note and refer to it when you feel lazy.

Get a super nice friend /parent /sibling who will constantly remind you to utilise your time.

Think of time as currency and pretend that it’s all a game where you need to save up as much money as you can to become a billionaire. Save up your time and become rich af.

4. Avoid procrastinating

Stduyjo/bujo again. You know the drill now.

A little bit of exercise before starting work generally works you up and sets the correct mood.

Knowing how ahead your friends are from you often makes you wanna catch up so try getting that motivation.

Set goals + rewards that actually matter to you. Maybe a face care spa day isn’t your thing but munching on a snickers bar is. Treat yo self.

Tell someone a detailed plan of what you are going to accomplish the next day. Now whenever you see that person you’ll want to prove to them that you’re doing what you promised. Or the guilt may drive you too.

Appearance related stuff :

1. Look more put together

Try the lipstick trick. There are days when you do not have the time /want to put on makeup, so just put on a lipstick that matches your outfit and you’ll automatically create an illusion of being more put together, boss af and fabulous.

Try out cheap (potato can’t afford sorry) but elegant accessories. If it’s a necklace try tucking it under the collar of your shirt and see the magic. Stick to one staple accessory that’s gonna be your trademark.

Tame that mane potato. Your hair isn’t gonna detangle itself. You gotta do it. I mean, don’t you love your hair?

Minimalistic colours rock. Some outfits never go old like flannels or white shirts or black dresses.

2. Feel beautiful

The lipstick does the trick for me.

Putting my hair in a sky high ponytail makes me feel like I’m a queen or something.

Save little compliments for yourself as reminders and when you get them you’ll feel 10x more beautiful than before.

Mind related stuff :

1. Deal with burnout/slump

Try to accomplish super tiny stuff. Break down every task into micromolecular basics.

Give yourself a ted talk. It works.

Sometimes the best way of dealing with burnout is by detoxing from the thing that caused burnout. Stay away form books and after some time you’ll actually want to study.

2. Study with slumps/mental illness

Step one is to finish homework /assignments. If you can concentrate on them, you’re good to go.

Do not take up a lot of load, just skimming through textbooks, reviewing notes, going over flashcards should do the trick.

If you desperately need to get shit done, just ignore the fact that you do not want to do it. It’s harsh on your mind but desperate times require desperate measures.

Avoid forcing yourself to study because you’ll not retain info like that.

Take it easy. But consistently. Maybe just one topic a day. But do not miss a day. A steady everyday practice goes long way in the future.

3. Strengthen self control

There are several apps that can help you with this, like forest. My top pick is the Tide app which has a gorgeous interface and super aesthetic timers with new pictures everyday. I shit you not every time I quit my pomodoro I feel the guilt of having killed 1000 puppies its worse and I avoid doing that at all costs.

If you study in your room, keep your phone in the kitchen for some time. Your lazy ass is less likely to get up and use the phone.

Switching the phone off before starting a study session works because I care for my phone like a baby and it feels horrible to switch it on and off and on and off.

Practice 30 minutes of digital detox everyday. You don’t have to study at that time, just stay away from everything that is technology. Read and book, eat a fruit, make a sandwich, paint, sing, dance, exercise. Study if you want. Just no gadgets.

4. Deal with stress

Yoga works. Potato body ain’t that flexible so just breathing exercises for a start is also enough.

Highly recommended : brain dump every night before sleeping can ensure that you’ll not stay up too late pondering over the meaning of your existence and world politics.

Having a hearty talk with someone you trust will also lift weight off your chest.

Pin point the cause of your stress and annihilate the problem. Slay it.

Life related stuff :

1. Drink more water

Carry a cool ass bottle of water with you every frigging where.

Make it a rule to have a drink everytime you go to the loo or you take a bath /shower.

Replace one of your daily caffeines /sugars with water. You don’t have to get rid of coffee because that’s just non potato ish, but maybe that third cup could be replaced with water.

Try a game thingy. Maybe everytime the word ‘procrastination’ pops in your mind take a drink. Wow, I’m so creative *sighs for eternities*.

2. Be more healthy

5 minute stretches right after getting up works you up.

Try one of those YouTube videos of 15 minute workouts. You can have 3 such workouts through the day and call yourself a fit potato.

Replacing one packet of junk food with nuts/fruits also works.

Everytime you hear someone say something related to money, have a banana. Random much? Nope, bananas are known to increase hormones that make you happy in your body, meaning you’ll feel full and happy. Maybe offer the person a banana too.

3. Be more happy

Eat bananas!

Take pictures of things you love, not things your followers love.

Puppies are a source of eternal joy.

Reading goofy/cheesy/romance books make you giggle and feel good in general.

Watching cheesy films or good ass romcoms works just well.

Friends was created for a reason.

Writing down what you accomplished today gives a sense of pride and satisfaction. Take that shit.

Tumblr has shitposts made basically to make you happy.

4. Find your true calling /figuring tf out what you wanna do with your life

Lists lists lists. Subjects you love, you hate, you’re good at, you suck at.

Consulting your teachers, family etc and find out what they think you’re good at. Sometimes other people can see traits of yours better than you.

Career tests rock.

You’ll figure it out in the end somehow.

And that’s about it for now folks, hope this helps. See y'all laterz~

Etudaire ♥

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[staticzap-blog]

Rules

Before we go any further I just wanna state that if you break one of my rules once, it’s not that big of a deal! But only once. Repeated offences or the breaking of different rules practically back to back is a big deal.

I’m not quite sure if I’m going to do a three strike thing or if I’ll just punish when I’m fed up with someone breaking my rules. In addition, these rules are bound to change as time goes on. Now for the actual rules in no real order!

This blog, is semi-selective/mutual only. Depending on what’s up, I may RP with some non-mutual blogs, but for the most part I’ll only do mutuals when it comes to threads.

The way I write for my threads is always in third person. And I always start a new paragraph after a line of my muse talking. Just the way I write, even I don’t know why.

I may not always nail it, but I do try my best to have proper grammar in my posts, when they’re supposed to be taken seriously of course. In the event I don’t have proper grammar or anything like that in a serious post it’s either due to a lack of sleep or I just didn’t catch the mistake before posting.

I hold the right to not RP with certain people and have the right to drop threads. If I do have to drop a thread I promise to tell you before I do. If I haven’t replied to a thread in two, maybe three, days always feel free to shoot me an IM politely asking me if I’ve seen your response. Nine times out of ten I forgot or have just been preoccupied with other things.

The length of my threads varies depending on RP partner/response. One liners will get a one liner reply out of me, a reply with two or three paragraphs will get two or three out of me, etc. Although there have been times I’ve replied to something with a length that was longer than the partner’s reply, usually thanks to muse for that thread. Like most people on here, I do also want some effort put into replies and to at least come close to matching my length if possible.

I love shipping. I will ship most things. Never force me to ship something though, talk about it beforehand or use an ask meme to have something develop.

I hold the right to have my muse not find interest in your muse though.

I am free to crossover with every conceivable fandom/muse that can be found on here. Just be warned, I might not know everything about it.

If I ever reblog an ask meme, please, send it/something from it in if you’re gonna reblog the post from me. If you don’t want to, which is just fine and understandable, go to the source. If the source is deactivated, then go ahead and reblog from me, I’ll understand.

Never try to drag me into drama. I promise you, it will do the situation no good, and it will do me no good.

Anon hate will either get deleted, responded to with a snarky comeback, or not be treated seriously at all. If you’ve got a problem with me, take the glasses off and talk to me on your actual blog. If you don’t have a blog, then why are you wasting your time with me?

I want to keep this blog as apolitical as possible. This isn’t the place I come to for politics and other stuff of that nature. So, if you could be so kind and tag political posts with “politics” I’d be very happy and grateful to you for it.

I am a male mun that goes by the pseudo “Burning”. If that is a turn off for you, I hope you can work through it and maybe get back to me later on. If not, well bye I guess.

I am also Bisexual. So much like the previous rule hope you work through any ill will towards Bi people and get back to me, if not bye.

Almost, but not always, time I don’t interact with a new mutual is because I’m an anxious nerd. So if you want to interact with me, please approach first. If you’re just as anxious, I’ll wiggle my way into interacting with you.

I have no triggers myself, but if there’s something that you need me to tag so you can blacklist it please let me know.

I’m never, ever, going to reveal my age to anyone online. It makes me uncomfortable in various ways. If we meet in person one day far off in the future, then I’ll tell you if it comes up. But as of right now, I’m not telling anyone. With that in mind, I am above the age of consent.

I often shitpost memes. It’s fun and I like it, if that’s not your sort of thing, I often tag them as {Dump Shit}/{dumb shit} so you can blacklist that tag if you want.

Gore will probably be present on this blog from time to time, but I will do my best to tag everything accordingly.

Never be afraid to ask me to tag something so you can blacklist it, I understand that sort of thing quite a lot. If I happen to miss a post that should probably have a specific tag, also don’t be afraid to bring it up to me.

For any smut rules, check out this link.

That is all I can currently think of. Like I said at the top of this list, things are bound to change in here but I will post about the change when it does happen.

Now then, seeing as how you’ve come down this far why not send me “Zap me baby!!!” into my inbox to tell me you’ve read my rules? It’s not needed and for the most part I’ll assume people who follow me have read my rules, but you can if you want to.

[pangenttechnologies]

Argentina.

How did this all even happen?

I'm probably repeating myself. I do that.

It was December, 2016. Technically Alexander Schreyer was my assistant then, because his father didn't know what to do with him. In practice he was what he always was - an outsized pain in my ass. He embarrassed himself while answering questions on Twitter. My Twitter. Unprofessional doesn't describe it. I'm unprofessional. He was worse.

This led to meetings about how we needed to rethink our social media strategy. Somehow this became my problem. Like I was in marketing instead of research. I got to deal with bullshit while Alex failed upwards. Every inch the boss's son. I guess that was his plan.

So I had to delete everything from the Twitter and my personal Tumblr. My job depended on it, and if they read through everything I posted on Tumblr I'd be in more trouble than I was. Seems silly now. Seemed silly then. I wrote a script to delete everything and, well, it deleted everything. I fucked up, I really did. I guess that was his plan.

They fired me. Then they wanted me back. On the condition that I sign a new contract. I should have shoved it down his throat. Six sheets of paper and they owned me from that point on. Any work I did, any thought that came through my mind was theirs. How did they put it? Oh yes. "Any information may be duplicated, edited, and/or exploited in whole or in part by Pangent Technologies, in all media, throughout the universe, in perpetuity, and may be incorporated into other works in any form, media or technology now known or hereafter developed."

They owned my mind, right down to writing emails or writing a diary or shitposting on Tumblr. I kept doing that, by the way, once I had the Tumblr mostly on private, or encrypted somehow. I don't know if they noticed but I never learned how to stop.

It's not unusual when working for a big company that they want first refusal rights to your every thought. But Pangent London wasn't a big company. And I was walking into a trap. I knew that even then. Like I said, Alex had a plan.

I said yes, because the trap I was walking into was a really interesting one.

Now you might ask, with a contract like that, what happens later when I learn how to say no?

Alex had Leslie sign the same contract. I would put a bullet through his head today for that alone. I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.

And he sent me a photo of something.

He'd seen me working on Percival, one of my many outrageous failures. A project to translate a person's dreaming thoughts into computer data. The requirements for data storage were impossible. So was the processing power it required. I set the damn lab on fire.

Lancelot, Dean Schreyer, Alex's father, he forgave me for a lot of things. Too many. He could be a real creep but he let me follow my thoughts to their illogical conclusion. He didn't care how many labs I set on fire as long as I was onto something.

My specialty was using science to understand the human brain. And if you've ever met me in real life, you should be laughing right now, because I don't understand people. I'll admit that. I keep to myself and I don't make friends easy.

Leslie was my friend. And I wish I'd been a better friend to her because there's nothing about her I don't love.

My closest friend was Sharon Pacana, and she followed me around for years, like a walking shadow, before I realized I liked her company. Nobody else has ever been that patient.

Well, two men were that patient with me. They waited for me to love them and I married both of them as a thank you.

It never lasts, you know. You think something will last forever. You've got to find your happiness while you can. Every story ends. We've all got an ending coming to us. That's how it works. You've got to teach your children to enjoy life, in spite of it all, and to love somebody because who knows if we'll still be here tomorrow? But we don't, you know? We do our jobs and let inertia and anxiety take over our lives, and we don't make time to enjoy it because it gets too hard. Like Joni Mitchell said, you don't know what you've got til its gone.

I'd done a thing at Pangent that we just called Project Four. It started as something more high-minded, but became a stress test on the human brain. Pushing it to the boiling point. It was about sleep cycles and sleep deprivation and chemicals, so many chemicals. We stopped valuing our lives for awhile, in order to see how the brain really works when you don't mind a little bit of torture. It ended up involving some of the worst people at Pangent. I don't think that was an accident. I made every wrong decision I could have possibly made. On purpose, maybe. Subconsciously. We staffed the thing with a lot of over-ambitious backstabbers. They were the fire and the water that Project Four boiled in.

I should have been fired. I should have been arrested.

Instead I got fired over temporarily breaking our Twitter. And Alex used the time to search through my files.

Alex was just smart enough to know that if I hadn't been fired before, it was because I was following his father's plan. Consciously or not, I was getting approved to do research that Dean Schreyer thought was important. Even I didn't understand that then. I had a history of disastrously failed projects, but to Dean Schreyer, it was all the same thing.

It was about understanding the brain.

Alex knew that his father saw something in my work that even I didn't. So he pretended he saw it too. He pretended to understand. He figured whatever it was, he could profit off of it. Make his daddy proud. He learned just enough to get his father to tell him the truth.

There was something I wrote, for the personality test. I think I wrote it. And I never figured out the answer.

They would ask me, should technology be free? Does progress belong to the people? I could have been a billionaire if I’d only sold my soul. I really could have. Dean and Alex saw dollar signs in the wreckage I'd left behind me, if I could actually make it work.

Dean Schreyer had been planning this for a long time. And there's a point where that plan became very dangerous.

It was all just science. Research. But so was the atom bomb. Dean knew that too. He knew there was a line I didn't want to cross. He knew my projects tended to fail at the point where they could have become dangerous to the survival of the human race.

Project 555 started out dangerous, and it never got any less so. It made me lose all perspective on what dangerous even is.

To Dean Schreyer, I was his star student. The teacher's pet. I think he thought he loved me.

555 could have killed me. It was killing me. He didn't care about that, if I got results.

I was fired and far away from Pangent when Alex sent me a photograph of a Cube.

When I saw it, I somehow was filled with a paralyzing fear. I lost consciousness. I became very ill. Immediately. But there was something thrilling about it too. It didn't take long before I got used to that fear. Before that fear became a friend to me.

It came in a glass box. A shimmering blue, or black if you shined no light on it. Somewhere between solid and liquid. Always rippling but never moving. About a hundred folds in it per inch. I don't know where they got it, or how they made it, if they made it. I don't think they made it. I no longer had the clearance to ask. I guess I'll never know now, though it's hardly left my side since. Especially now. It had properties unlike anything I've seen before or since. It almost seemed alive. No, forget the almost. Whatever it was they couldn't duplicate it. That would be my job, if I could figure it out. But they saw the potential immediately. Data storage.

Enough storage to take the ideas I'd failed with in the past - Percival, Project Four - and make them work. The potential was there, if I could live through it.

I'd always cut myself off from the world. I'd lived inside my own head. Boxed in. I worked alone, not wanting to ask anyone else for help.

Dean Schreyer was counting on that. That I would push myself to the limit of my sanity. Thanks to Project Four he knew exactly what those limits were. We'd sealed those records. I'm sure now that he opened them. I was always at the breaking point but I never broke. I never consciously realized it, but Dean was always in control. Alex could be spiteful and vicious, and the project was stressful as hell, but somehow there was always just enough room to breathe and keep going.

That's why Project 555 succeeded under me, and failed when Leslie took over. It's not because I'm any smarter than Leslie is. It's because Dean Schreyer was dead, and Alex didn't know or care about Leslie's limits. There was nothing to stop him from breaking her.

Except for us. The Spice Girls. I stopped being Leslie's friend for far too long, but Sharon never did. She kept an eye on things. That was the promise we'd made. Project Drinking Bird.

The idea was to keep an eye on the Cube. Really, we were keeping an eye on each other. As friends. I wish I'd realized that then.

It's helpful to think of the Cube as being under constant stress. It is capable of learning. You can teach it things, and set it to work on problems that aren't particularly important. You have to, because it wants to constantly be moving. It wants to play, like a child.

If you have a cup of water that's 90 percent full, the cup can hold the water and function the way it's supposed to. The Cube is the same way. At a 90 percent stress level the Cube is still mostly harmless. But if you pour 20 percent more stress into that cup, it will overflow. It can no longer function. It might shut down. It might explode. It might never stop exploding.

When I first talked about this with Sharon, she said, "My God, Lottie, it's you. The Cube is you."

I was a cup filled 90 percent of the way with stress. I could still function, but if anything else went wrong I'd be useless for days. I figure Dean Schreyer knew that. I figure he had printouts and graphs about it.

Dean Schreyer wanted to own me, and Alex made that happen. I believe now that that was literally true, and that we were lucky to escape with our lives.

I learned before too long that the Cube has some unusual properties, when it comes to time.

I will tell you something now that I've never told anyone.

I own a drinking bird. A plastic toy, weighted with liquid to bob up and down. Little crack on the bottom. It came in a box, so I couldn't see what color it was. But it's red, with a black top hat.

When I bought it, it was blue.

There's lots of things like that. Wrong in little ways from how I remember them.

Maybe my brain's just broken. Maybe the Cube broke me after all.

Or maybe reality changes all the time around us, in silly little ways.

And we're not supposed to notice.

I'm looking at the Cube right now. I shouldn't. It could kill me. I've got my special glasses on.

Hello 555.

You thought I wouldn't notice, did you?

I did.

[anorablespark]

help me decide what to do with this blog?

explanation/reasoning under the cut, because it got long.

honestly, this is a hard thing for me to ask for help with. i’ve been roleplaying Nora since August 2014. Even when I’d take breaks from her blog, i’d still roleplay her on skype with close friends and plot things and talk about them with people. Nora has been my longest running muse, aside from Josh Birk from Saints Row and my OC Selene. For almost three years, Nora’s been a muse that I’ve loved and cared for, as if she was my own oc instead of a canon character. She had been a heavily headcanon-based, canon-divergent muse from her source material, bent and shaped to how i personally saw her, and roleplayed her.  I gave her siblings and a family; since I saw her having at least one or two siblings. i gave her parents she was close too, but who had died before she had gotten the chance to go to beacon. i gave her a relationship with a character who, the other mun and i had plotted so much for them, that we made our own seperate verse for them.

I’ve given Nora so much, and put so much into her. And it pains me to admit this; to make this post, but...sad enough, I need to.

Ever since I took the break from her blog in June last year, things haven’t been the same. I personally feel like it’s my fault, even though it’s not totally my fault. I had felt it coming for about a month now, but since i was injured, i hadn’t been too active on her blog before that time. Long story short, something happened with someone I had considered a friend. Something I didn’t even know why, until months later, that had resulted in that person blocking me on all of their blogs, and convincing a few of their friends to do the same.  I was barely able to type at the time, due to the fact that a month before I had injured my thumb in an incident that resulted in my thumb in great pain if I used it too much. And I didn’t find out until just before my birthday they had done so. About two weeks after they did. I was so upset and stressed out that I hadn’t been able to eat for almost two days. Nora’s muse was deeply hurt and she had refused to cooperate with me. It had basically killed her muse, and I couldn’t even get on Nora’s blog without crying.  So I put it on a hiatus. It seemed like the most logical and sound thing to do at the time. But...everything almost started to fall apart. People I thought were friends stopped talking to me. They stopped following my blogs, ignored my messages on skype and my attempts to try talking to them again. (most of them had only ever followed my rw.b.y blogs anyway) I had been told several times by people I met at a later date that I was overreacting. That I made things worse for myself. That I should just get over it, and that I was using my mental illnesses as an excuse to feel that way, despite the fact that I was still getting used to having multiple at the time (i found out about one in high school, and the other years after, and im still adjusting to both of them) But that wasn’t it at all.

Come September, Nora’s muse had finally started to respond again. It was partially thanks to me following an old friend of mine on my main blog after so long. After talking to a couple friends on skype, I decided to try to give Nora a shot again. It couldn’t hurt, right? So I did so. A year after I remade Nora’s blog the first time, I remade it and moved her to a new blog a second time. Decided to try to start fresh, y’know? Nothing wrong with a new start.

I had attempted to move on again. I didn’t want to be accused of making things worse for myself. I didn’t want to say that I didn’t try. I wanted to stop feeling like i wasn’t good enough.

But even after remaking Nora, things had been hard. People I once followed and was friends with, ignored my new blog. They didn’t care enough, that someone who had roleplayed with them for almost two years had tried to come back to a muse they claimed to like so much.

Nora’s muse is still highly demoralized after what happened in June, and this hadn’t been helping much. She’s only responded to a few things here and there, and she’s been very...well, i quite frankly feel like she hasn’t cared as much as she has before. Both her and I have only really had the desire to get online here to shitpost and be shipping trash, maybe respond to a thread or two.

But I...just quite frankly, dont feel very welcomed in this fandom on Nora’s blog anymore. I don’t now what to do about it, because it’s started to slowly transition to my other rwby blogs (my oc calliste and my recently made emerald, whom i’ve been too nervous to really get on since earlier this week) and...I dont want this to happen. I dont want to feel like this when I come here just to enjoy myself and have fun. 

So...I figured I’d ask you guys for your help on what to do. I wasn’t sure about putting this out there, but...I feel like I have no other choice. I’ve kept quiet about these feelings for so long, and I don’t want to keep this all inside any longer. So I figured I just need to figure out something to do with this blog. It’s taken a lot for me to even write this post, because I’m unsure about if this is the right thing to do or not. 

What I should do with a muse I’ve been writing for a little over 2 years. What should I do with a muse that people only care about the muse, and not for me? So...please, even if you didn’t read this whole post, please, can you help me figure out something to do with this blog? 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

yall ive had some shit this shift...i got lectured and vaguely threatened for having to pee a lot which was coz i drink stuff thruout the day like coffee and tea which is Pee City and since ive been on deliveries steadily all day ill be gone on that for ages and have to pee when i get back as well as the other shit i do. like i was literally this afternoon joking w coworkers who are actually cool to me abt how i can be at work for hours before people who have been in the store the whole tkme will realize im even there coz im a) out on deliveries most of the time, like for real if its a busy lunch period i can be at work for 2-3 hrs and actually be in the store 10-20 min and b) when im here im moving around actually doing shit and people have always been saying how its hard to get ahold of me coz im always going around doing shit and thats another reason people dont realize im here and c) people just dont notice me so like today my freakin bad i had to pee a lot coz my only comforting routine in this place besides constant disassociation is working my way thru a drink and i happen to like both coffee and tea even tho it does make me pee and sometimes i get the coffee dumps, truth. so today since ive been in and out on deliveries the whole time and i havent been talking to anyone since none of the people who notice me were much here and since ive been moving around the store since im actually doing shit, i get yelled at for using the bathroom too much.... like i get the issue of people who give themselves Bathroom Breaks which realistically we all do but sometimes people do it too long or whatever and like yeah while im taking a shit i will check my twitter or make a shitpost or something, like we all use our phones throughout the day including the managers and im not gonna feel bad for doing that but i am not thrilled w being accused of using the bathroom needlessly when im using it coz i need to use it....and like not like i can prove im peeing every time coz i'd be glad to give you a urine sample every time but they prob dont want that.... anyways whats real good is how i was just talking the other day about how this one delivery driver who's been here forever and was just given like acknowledgement for being a good employee, i was talking w someone about how like he doesn't actually do shit, and i was like i try desperately to ignore him but now that you mention it i never see him doing anything really? and like if you ask him to do some basic shit we're Supposed to do he wont or he'll ask someone else to do it. and today he was here and when we were slow and i was like washing tables and taking dishes and making coffee I actually paid attention to him and he definitely would just like stand by the computer even tho we had no new orders and then walk to a different spot and then go back to the computer and then walk energetically somewhere else and i think a couple times i saw him carry a few dishes to the sinks. and he's fine and im doing shit and getting lectured for causing issue for not doing my work like granted this was from the same manager who once made me mad for getting on me for Slacking Off coz i was leaning on the bread slicer, which i was leaning on coz i was trying to read the order info on the computer next to it, and was also happy about because i was doing a lot of work that day more than even usual. and another driver complained about her doing that exact same thing aka complaining about Leaning when the driver had been working hard and i was like yep ive had that happen too like now i essentially cant use the bathroom because the fact that i keep myself busy means that most people, who have a tendency to not notice my presence even if i AM standing right there, legit dont know im there and nobody sees me doing any work coz they dont see me coz im doing god damn work........ im annoyed coz like i can think of maybe seven other employees who distinctly notice me and are cool with me and im cool with them, and most other employees are fine and decent to me and stuff but theres a couple people who are shitty including this one guy who just now was talking with this dude who i thought was a decent guy? and they were kind of making fun of me and i went up to the decent guy like hey i was actually right over there and totally heard you guys, coz i was not in the mood, and he just brushed me off and i was like fantastic. plus for some reason the manager who fussed at me decided to do it all formally right before i had to go on a delivery, and so i didnt get enough time to say everything on my mind about my Problems with the fact that this was occurring which i was absolutely going to do in full on account of i think its bullshit and im no longer in the mood in my general life to act like i think that kind of bs is warranted, but before i could talk about it long enough i felt like id said everything i wanted to, she was like ok u gotta go on the delivery and im like you still havent given me that $60 you forgot to cash me out and you're allowed to say what you want and i cant respond? i get that mgmt is bullshit and i had just been talkingn about how mgmt is bs a couple days ago but i just dont care for me personally i am going to answer back. and because of being abused all my life a lot of times i have an automatic response to these kind of situations where i try to speak back and the stress just naturally makes me cry and then i gotta be like sorry im crying its a physiological reflex i earned for being alive. and now that you rushed me out to make a delivery i have to be trying not to cry at work, and extend my cryish period by having to try holding it back, and also extend it on account of im still got damnt pissed about it like god knows im not one to praise myself beyond reason but im a good worker here and ironically that means people might not ever notice it and I've definitely never heard a good word from management about anything i do since i dont even know when and instead i get in trouble coz one day i have to pee, coz other days i also have to pee coz i have established one comforting habit to get through customer service bs where i get weird treatment from other coworkers at least once a day usually and sometimes dont even have a work friend around and so my fucking bad i have coffee i guess like apparently my fuckin problem is that im both quiet almost all the time and keep to myself but also sometimes joke with people or say something to them at all just to be nice coz other coworkers are quiet and dont get shit from people or are always in a less than warm mood and dont get shit about it. i close tomorrow aka there for 10-11 hrs but at least a coworker im work friends with and who has a similar demeanor is around for most of it or i swear to christ. hopefully i ever deliver to someplace with a fucking bathroom coz i guess i cant god damn use ours anymore without being monitored coz im not a good enough worker natcho like i just dont know how im supposed to have my bladder on trial and if managers are only noticing that i pee more than them and not that i do work all day and extend myself to help out when things get dicey, well then like if nobody sees it i sure dont have proof i did it other that remember that time we had a massive dinner rush and i stayed an hr past my shift and was not only the sole person taking food to the tables but also taking dishes back and washing tables and restocking junk in the dining room, no you don't remember because nobody was working beside me and so as far as everyone else knows i did nothing and so anyways too theres nothing for someone with anxiety who worries about being monitored and judged like telling me ive been monitored and judged and now i cant pee anymore, that'll teach me to give myself one nice thing thru-out the day. i also dont have anything to rely on to comfort me after something shitty at work and tragically work is most of my socialization and most of the only thing i "do" and i feel like im being treated kind of crap for the fact that i do put in effort every day to be helpful around there. like thanks that i have to bite the inside of my mouth now coz im trying not to stress / angry cry coz i have nowhere to put it. like i dont care if this manager thinks this shit is part of the job like i deal with enough shit in life right now to Not be angry about this. like boy you guys are really making it hard to think about having to leave this store when i haul off to a different area in just a bit and i honestly dont know about the fact that some people especially this one guy who is just a dick to like everybody keep saying shit comments about me coz they cant see me and im like fuck off. like im honestly sick of it and im sitting on the fact that this dude also has said racist crap ive been an audio witness too and said something racist about a coworker to her face and she told me about it like. management is part of what i'm mad at right now but if im getting narced on for the fact coffee and tea go right thru me then i think i have a complaint here whenever the next time he says some shit is like when i'm here i honestly keep to myself and try to be doing work whenever we need work done and apparently thats why im now getting shit and sorry this post exists and is so long but im real peeved and the only way to put a long rant from me about shit anywhere is to put it here

[eggenterprises-blog]

RULES

~BASICS~

First and foremost, if you happen any of the soon to be listed rules. Don’t sweat it! Well, don’t treat it lightly either. I don’t insta block anyone that breaks one of my rules, usually I just go into IMs and ask the rule breaker if they could stop doing that so we can both have fun. If you do happen to break my rules multiple times, sorry but I gotta block you.

This blog is multimuse, so if you ever send in an ask could you specify which muse you want to answer it? It just makes things easier for me. You’re also always allowed to send an ask meant for everyone.

Please never assume any of my muses knows yours. Unless we plot it through IMs or an ask meme says that our muses would know each other. If it’s just randomly in a thread we haven’t planned or started with an ask meme, that’s a no go for me.

Also, this is an AU blog. Massively AU, so some characters will not know other characters. Keep that in mind depending on who your muse is.

I won’t always answer every ask in my inbox, but I try to answer them as often as I can.

If you RP with “matt-and-exeitor” I will be hesitant to interact with you.

OCs are completely welcome here so long as I can get enough info on them off of your blog.

This blog is also crossover friendly with the following fandoms: Mega Man Nintendo in general Non-fandom muses Night in the Woods muses And Undertale (I’m picky though)

~SHIPPING~

This blog is multiship, which means that let’s say Maw has a ship in my mainverse you are more than welcome to also ship with him in the secondary verse. It’s there for a reason ;)

Also there won’t be any cheating unless its fine with the mun RPing my muse’s s/o.

You’re always more than welcome to come into my IMs and talk to me about maybe shipping our muses, I’m always up for more ships.

If you ever want our ship to be in its own special verse for whatever reason, talk to me about it! I’d be happy to do it.

No massive age difference ships. 20 year old with a 22-24 year old is fine. 8 year old with a 22 year old is not. In any way.

No incest ships. Like, even if this is an AU and technically my muse isn’t say, the father of your fan child. It’s still a no from me.

I also reserve the right to not accept certain ships. Usually due to sexuality.

On that note I’ll never break my muse’s sexuality just for a ship.

Platonic and familial ships are just fine! If you want my muse to be your muse’s best friend, let me know! Or if you want my muse to be your muse’s parent/sibling let me know! I’d love to do something like that! The same goes for hate ships!

~THREADS~

This blog, is highly selective/mutual only. Depending on what’s up, I may RP with some non mutual blogs but for the most part I’ll only do mutuals only.

The way I write for my threads is always in third person. And I always start a new paragraph after a line of my muse talking. Just the way I write, even I don’t know why.

I don’t have the best of grammar when it comes to certain things. Often times I can use certain phrases wrong or even use the wrong way of spelling certain words. My hope though is that whenever I do it I get my point across and maybe even keep the way you pronounce the word the same.

I hold the right to not RP with certain people and have the right to drop threads. If I do have to drop a thread I promise to tell you before I do.

The length of my threads varies depending on what’s up. Usually they’re rather medium sized. Like, two paragraphs. But sometimes I call pull of three, usually those take time to do though.

With that in mind I try to get to as many threads as I possibly can, so if I haven’t replied to a thread in a while and haven’t said anything to you about it, don’t worry, I’m just too nervous about talking to you about it because I’m usually sitting in front of the drafts screen just trying to will my fingers into writing.

~MEMES~

If I ever reblog an ask meme, please, send it/something from it in if you’re gonna reblog the meme. If you don’t want to, which is just fine and understandable, go to the source. If the source is deactivated, then go ahead and reblog from me I’ll understand.

~OOC~

Please, call me Burning!

I am a male mun. If that is a turn off for you, I hope you can work through it and maybe get back to me later on. If not, well bye I guess.

I am also Bisexual. So much like the previous rule hope you work through any ill will towards Bi people and get back to me, if not bye.

Almost, but not always, time I don’t interact with a new mutual is because I’m an anxious nerd. So if you want to interact with me, please approach first. If you’re just as anxious, I’ll wiggle my way into interacting with you.

I have no triggers myself, but if there’s something that you need me to tag so you can blacklist it please let me know.

I want this blog to stay as apolitical as possible. Which means I want politics that aren’t fictional or mentioned in a joking way away from this blog. I have no ill will towards anyone that talks about politics on their blog though, I just don’t wanna post/reblog anything about politics on my blog cuz this is the place I want to escape from reality. Why would I want to bring that stress here?

I’m never, ever, going to reveal my age to anyone online. If we meet in person one day far off in the future, then I’ll tell you if it comes up. But as of right now, I’m not telling anyone. Same thing goes about my true name.

I often shitpost memes. It’s fun and I like it, if that’s not your sort of thing, I often tag them as {Dump Shit} so you can blacklist that tag if you want.

~NSFW~

So without going into detail, I just wanna say that smut can happen here. All of my muses are of age. If you want more detail on what can and cannot happen in a smut thread check out this link.

Anything overly graphic (smut or intense gore) will go under a read more.

Gore of almost any kind, raunchy jokes/actions, and other things are also welcome here. Depending on how graphic each one of these things are, they’ll either be tagged as “NSFW” or “NSFW-Ish”.

You can ask me any NSFW question OOC through the inbox or IMs, I’m no prude.

You’ve reached the bottom of this rabbit hole! Thanks! Now that you’ve read my rules go ahead and send me a “Ready for Enlistment.” through my inbox to let me know! I’d appreciate it.

[tbhstudying1]

from for the dreams i want to catch http://ift.tt/2obkWXQ via See More

etudaire: A big bang of “how to” stuff There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I...

A big bang of “how to” stuff

There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I made up this long ass post for y'all!

So you a potato. Me a potato. World conquered by we potatoes. But potato need survival tips. So your bro potato help you out. Yay potato. Go go potato.

Study related stuff :

1. Get good grades

Catch concepts, not chapters. Your portion is most likely gonna be super vast, so it’s helpful to know a little something from every chapter rather than knowing just 50% of your syllabus.

Figure out which concepts are important and master them.

Keep all assignments completed at least 1 day before submission date. This isn’t always possible but trust me if you do this you’re guaranteeing marks for proper submission. Job done early? Proof check and add touches to enhance that essay!

Let the teachers know that you’re working hard. I actually passed math because my math teacher knew I was working super hard on my math skills. Participate in the class, gather a bunch of doubts and then dump them on your teacher when the chapter ends.

Try not to miss lectures because chances are you’ll remember that silly mnemonic your friend made up in class and get the answer correct.

Analysis of your exam type is super important. Want me to make a long ass post about it?

2. Be more productive

Having a stuydjo/bujo by your side helps hella lot.

Plan plan plan. Lists, organise lists and colour code them. Basically become Monica Geller Bing and you’re set for life.

Motivational quotes from pinterest almost make me guilty for not being productive and force me to do something.

Before starting your study session, dance around to upbeat music for like 5 minutes. You’ll see the difference I promise.

Seek out inspiration from your smart friends /tumblr friends /people you look up to by constantly reminding yourself about them. I always think of hermione granger because even randomly picturing her with books in my mind ignites that badass boss feeling complying me to study tf up.

3. Manage your time

Studyjo/bujo saves your life.

Wear a watch all the damn time, it will remind you of how much time you’re spending doing nothing. You’ll end up saving several extra minutes!

List out what you’re gonna do every hour of the day on a sticky note and refer to it when you feel lazy.

Get a super nice friend /parent /sibling who will constantly remind you to utilise your time.

Think of time as currency and pretend that it’s all a game where you need to save up as much money as you can to become a billionaire. Save up your time and become rich af.

4. Avoid procrastinating

Stduyjo/bujo again. You know the drill now.

A little bit of exercise before starting work generally works you up and sets the correct mood.

Knowing how ahead your friends are from you often makes you wanna catch up so try getting that motivation.

Set goals + rewards that actually matter to you. Maybe a face care spa day isn’t your thing but munching on a snickers bar is. Treat yo self.

Tell someone a detailed plan of what you are going to accomplish the next day. Now whenever you see that person you’ll want to prove to them that you’re doing what you promised. Or the guilt may drive you too.

Appearance related stuff :

1. Look more put together

Try the lipstick trick. There are days when you do not have the time /want to put on makeup, so just put on a lipstick that matches your outfit and you’ll automatically create an illusion of being more put together, boss af and fabulous.

Try out cheap (potato can’t afford sorry) but elegant accessories. If it’s a necklace try tucking it under the collar of your shirt and see the magic. Stick to one staple accessory that’s gonna be your trademark.

Tame that mane potato. Your hair isn’t gonna detangle itself. You gotta do it. I mean, don’t you love your hair?

Minimalistic colours rock. Some outfits never go old like flannels or white shirts or black dresses.

2. Feel beautiful

The lipstick does the trick for me.

Putting my hair in a sky high ponytail makes me feel like I’m a queen or something.

Save little compliments for yourself as reminders and when you get them you’ll feel 10x more beautiful than before.

Mind related stuff :

1. Deal with burnout/slump

Try to accomplish super tiny stuff. Break down every task into micromolecular basics.

Give yourself a ted talk. It works.

Sometimes the best way of dealing with burnout is by detoxing from the thing that caused burnout. Stay away form books and after some time you’ll actually want to study.

2. Study with slumps/mental illness

Step one is to finish homework /assignments. If you can concentrate on them, you’re good to go.

Do not take up a lot of load, just skimming through textbooks, reviewing notes, going over flashcards should do the trick.

If you desperately need to get shit done, just ignore the fact that you do not want to do it. It’s harsh on your mind but desperate times require desperate measures.

Avoid forcing yourself to study because you’ll not retain info like that.

Take it easy. But consistently. Maybe just one topic a day. But do not miss a day. A steady everyday practice goes long way in the future.

3. Strengthen self control

There are several apps that can help you with this, like forest. My top pick is the Tide app which has a gorgeous interface and super aesthetic timers with new pictures everyday. I shit you not every time I quit my pomodoro I feel the guilt of having killed 1000 puppies its worse and I avoid doing that at all costs.

If you study in your room, keep your phone in the kitchen for some time. Your lazy ass is less likely to get up and use the phone.

Switching the phone off before starting a study session works because I care for my phone like a baby and it feels horrible to switch it on and off and on and off.

Practice 30 minutes of digital detox everyday. You don’t have to study at that time, just stay away from everything that is technology. Read and book, eat a fruit, make a sandwich, paint, sing, dance, exercise. Study if you want. Just no gadgets.

4. Deal with stress

Yoga works. Potato body ain’t that flexible so just breathing exercises for a start is also enough.

Highly recommended : brain dump every night before sleeping can ensure that you’ll not stay up too late pondering over the meaning of your existence and world politics.

Having a hearty talk with someone you trust will also lift weight off your chest.

Pin point the cause of your stress and annihilate the problem. Slay it.

Life related stuff :

1. Drink more water

Carry a cool ass bottle of water with you every frigging where.

Make it a rule to have a drink everytime you go to the loo or you take a bath /shower.

Replace one of your daily caffeines /sugars with water. You don’t have to get rid of coffee because that’s just non potato ish, but maybe that third cup could be replaced with water.

Try a game thingy. Maybe everytime the word ‘procrastination’ pops in your mind take a drink. Wow, I’m so creative *sighs for eternities*.

2. Be more healthy

5 minute stretches right after getting up works you up.

Try one of those YouTube videos of 15 minute workouts. You can have 3 such workouts through the day and call yourself a fit potato.

Replacing one packet of junk food with nuts/fruits also works.

Everytime you hear someone say something related to money, have a banana. Random much? Nope, bananas are known to increase hormones that make you happy in your body, meaning you’ll feel full and happy. Maybe offer the person a banana too.

3. Be more happy

Eat bananas!

Take pictures of things you love, not things your followers love.

Puppies are a source of eternal joy.

Reading goofy/cheesy/romance books make you giggle and feel good in general.

Watching cheesy films or good ass romcoms works just well.

Friends was created for a reason.

Writing down what you accomplished today gives a sense of pride and satisfaction. Take that shit.

Tumblr has shitposts made basically to make you happy.

4. Find your true calling /figuring tf out what you wanna do with your life

Lists lists lists. Subjects you love, you hate, you’re good at, you suck at.

Consulting your teachers, family etc and find out what they think you’re good at. Sometimes other people can see traits of yours better than you.

Career tests rock.

You’ll figure it out in the end somehow.

And that’s about it for now folks, hope this helps. See y'all laterz~

Etudaire ♥

[fijimurmaider]

I want to complain about this idiot, I’m so fucking sorry...

I know I mentioned how my brother’s girlfriend has been making me absolutely sick with her shitposting with her family and their passive aggressive bullshit to the point I’m PROBABLY going to call it quits with them. I’m sorry, but I get pretty fucking lit up about it and I don’t want to talk to my mom or sister because it’s never really about how I feel about it, it’s how mad they are, etc. And venting is nice but I’d just rather do it here than have to do it to someone else. So like I said. They fucking BOTHER me. Her and her family have been a thorn in my side ever since he decided to pick up this abusive rebound bitch. He’s my half brother and we were raised together. He wouldn’t have shit if it weren’t for MY dad. My dad who decided to raise him and give him a fucking fighting chance. Yes, I’ll be THAT petty. I’ve known him since BIRTH. He’s 9 years my senior. Dude, my brother used to be my world but I found out just how he was pretty early on and unfortunately, I’ve always struggled in some part to have his attention equally and I’ve always found it hard to confront my feelings for him because as much as I feel like I have to love him, I fucking resent him for his doings.. and not just on my behalf.  Every time (almost) he’s with someone, we haven’t existed to him. When I was about 11, my brother was living with a girl he was dating and all he acted like he knew was them.. and the worst part was: I fucking went to their house often and I was still playing second fiddle to her little brother. So I got pissed. He only came home to eat our food, then leave, usually trying to avoid us. One night I left him a letter in the fridge (YES IN IT, RIGHT ON TOP OF THE SANDWICH MEAT BECAUSE I KNEW HE WOULD LOOK THERE) addressing my feelings and how I was giving him an ultimatum, me or them, fuck boi. So he plans a day, just me and him to go out and do whatever. Low and behold. When he comes to pick me up, HER FUCKING BROTHER IS THERE. So that’s really when I learned how he was.. and I cried to my parents when I got home because it was unfair.  The two girlfriends between the one I previously explained and the fucking idiot he’s with now: good as gold. The first of these two used to stay with us at our house after my mom left and she just kind of picked up the tasks my mom would have done. Oh, and she enjoyed nice, quiet, indoor activity which meant I could handle her. And her mom was dead and she just had a dad and little sister. The second of which has, fuck.. at least 5 siblings, a mom, a father figure and her father figure’s mentally disabled brother. And I had known them for a long time. We all spent equal time with each other and she and I actually bonded and get this, NEVER GOSSIPED?? Like, she would get sappy sometimes but I was comfortable? Weird. Then they break up. I make it known that for years she was part of my life and that I wasn’t going to fight her for his new girlfriend. His current GF hated her and she only met her once.  So there’s a lot that I didn’t and don’t like about his current GF. First off, when I first met her, she would not STOP saying “nigga!” and while in the city she once was like “HEY WE HAVE A GLOCK IN THE GLOVE BOX!” This isn’t your hick town, you fuck! Anyway, 100 compulsive lies later and my brother ignoring me, so I just call him up and gripe about how he’s acting and he’s fighting me over the phone “she’s a good girl! she’s never done anything wrong!” He doesn’t know her, I guess? I get pissed. I call it that. Her mom was trying to threaten me. I was 17. Not sure if she knew it or not, but they’re all talk and I invited her to come fight me since she was fucking my cousin/neighbor and I’d be across the street. This bitch showed up to his house LATE and left EARLY. You’re scared of an overweight 17 year old? Bitch! Then my bro’s GF gets pregnant. And I of COURSE but in because I only found out via Facebook post. No one in my family knew until that post. Her family knew before but nup. Not us. So I fight this because he hadn’t known her that long and I’ve already figured these people out. I can’t stop her being pregnant, but I can vent to their faces. So I did.. When my nephew is born, they send a pic and I go to the hospital to see him. He’s about six months old when she claims he almost died from being ill (I actually believe it, they’re sick all the time,) and no one tells any of us. Oh, your nephew could have died, however, you’re not as important as my abusive mother so.... yeah fuck you.  Now she’s pregnant with this one. She’s like? 12 weeks? I learn of this literally 5 minutes before the post goes up. Wow thx such advance knowledge. Whatever, fuck it. However, she’s increasingly annoying. She hasn’t spoken (nor has he) to my mom or sister in ..... around 6 months as of this posting because of her bullshit (my sister said she was deleting people off fb who never talked to her, bro’s gf thought the shoe fit, got upset and deleted me sister, then she lies and tells my bro my sis deleted her, he sends her a msg. My sister is like bitch what? you know. Long story short.) Well I’ve been complying and being nice although I pretty much hate her with a fiery passion. Every time I comment on her Facebook posts everyone around me gets replied to and whatnot. Me? Ignored. Okay, bitch. So today she posts about how she got tests back because of my brother’s “advanced age” to make sure her baby won’t have birth defends. My EXACT comment is, “ I never heard of it for men. I know women 35 and older have an increased risk of birth defects. Edit: Just looked it up. It says "advanced" age only. So I'm assuming they have to be sugar daddies to really have an effect. “  You know what she replies?  “OK.”  What? Excuse me, motherfucker? OK? JUST OK? I’d love to know what I did to you other than be your “babe’s” little sister? That’s okay because I also hold a lot of animosity toward your idiotic fucking sisters. And your cheating, lying ass fucking mother. And you, you compulsive liar, you fucking bitch. You fucking taking selfies in bed with some fucking dude you’re “just friends” with. THen why you snuggling in bed, bitch? My boyfriend’s friend was over once when he wasn’t home and I was literally like “hey, I’m high rn, let’s watch t.v.” ON MY COUCH. PLATONIC. NOT IN BED. NO ONE BUT MY CAT HANGS OUT WITH ME IN MY BED? 

I’m kind of curious as to whether or not this child will even be related to me.. and on some level, I fucking hope not.

I keep hoping my brother will come to his senses and leave her and get custody. But he won’t. I think she’s the only reason he’s been an active dad this long. Because she’s an abuser like her mom. It disgusts me for the kid’s sake.  And I feel a lot of guilt that I didn’t ask if I could get my nephew for my niece’s party because apparently my niece cares more about having a family than those two idiots do.. but I knew if I did some shit would be said. He can’t go with me because they’ll be there or whatever. I should have asked so I could go ahead and lose my shit as it is. At least I’d selflessly be losing my cool and screaming at them? I guess at this stage in my life, I wouldn’t care if not for my niece and nephews.  But maybe it doesn’t matter given we’ve no relationship and that she claims everyone else as his aunts and uncles. Makes it even better when she tried to argue that she was my niece’s favorite. I’m her ONLY aunt, bitch and you can bet she picked me. You know, sometimes you can’t buy a child’s love. Sometimes you have to pay attention to them. Something she knows nothing about. She ignored my niece so much to the point she was in the car once and we walked over to it, my niece said “hii!” and this bitch cold fucking ignores her like she doesn’t hear anything. 

I hate that bitch. She is literally hillbilly Satan and I want her exposed but he’s so fcking blind to her shit. Like she lied about her grandma giving her a house and then has to move out of it BECAUSE YOU DON’T OWN SHIT, YOU LIAR. Now she’s back in it... for maybe 6 months. Then she’ll go live with grandma again. Her, my brother, their kid and the next kid in line. Fucking miserable. 

They’re going to trigger me one day and I’m going to go off. 

[tbhstudying1]

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etudaire: A big bang of “how to” stuff There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I...

A big bang of “how to” stuff

There I was again tonight forcing laughter faking smiles so I made up this long ass post for y'all!

So you a potato. Me a potato. World conquered by we potatoes. But potato need survival tips. So your bro potato help you out. Yay potato. Go go potato.

Study related stuff :

1. Get good grades

Catch concepts, not chapters. Your portion is most likely gonna be super vast, so it’s helpful to know a little something from every chapter rather than knowing just 50% of your syllabus.

Figure out which concepts are important and master them.

Keep all assignments completed at least 1 day before submission date. This isn’t always possible but trust me if you do this you’re guaranteeing marks for proper submission. Job done early? Proof check and add touches to enhance that essay!

Let the teachers know that you’re working hard. I actually passed math because my math teacher knew I was working super hard on my math skills. Participate in the class, gather a bunch of doubts and then dump them on your teacher when the chapter ends.

Try not to miss lectures because chances are you’ll remember that silly mnemonic your friend made up in class and get the answer correct.

Analysis of your exam type is super important. Want me to make a long ass post about it?

2. Be more productive

Having a stuydjo/bujo by your side helps hella lot.

Plan plan plan. Lists, organise lists and colour code them. Basically become Monica Geller Bing and you’re set for life.

Motivational quotes from pinterest almost make me guilty for not being productive and force me to do something.

Before starting your study session, dance around to upbeat music for like 5 minutes. You’ll see the difference I promise.

Seek out inspiration from your smart friends /tumblr friends /people you look up to by constantly reminding yourself about them. I always think of hermione granger because even randomly picturing her with books in my mind ignites that badass boss feeling complying me to study tf up.

3. Manage your time

Studyjo/bujo saves your life.

Wear a watch all the damn time, it will remind you of how much time you’re spending doing nothing. You’ll end up saving several extra minutes!

List out what you’re gonna do every hour of the day on a sticky note and refer to it when you feel lazy.

Get a super nice friend /parent /sibling who will constantly remind you to utilise your time.

Think of time as currency and pretend that it’s all a game where you need to save up as much money as you can to become a billionaire. Save up your time and become rich af.

4. Avoid procrastinating

Stduyjo/bujo again. You know the drill now.

A little bit of exercise before starting work generally works you up and sets the correct mood.

Knowing how ahead your friends are from you often makes you wanna catch up so try getting that motivation.

Set goals + rewards that actually matter to you. Maybe a face care spa day isn’t your thing but munching on a snickers bar is. Treat yo self.

Tell someone a detailed plan of what you are going to accomplish the next day. Now whenever you see that person you’ll want to prove to them that you’re doing what you promised. Or the guilt may drive you too.

Appearance related stuff :

1. Look more put together

Try the lipstick trick. There are days when you do not have the time /want to put on makeup, so just put on a lipstick that matches your outfit and you’ll automatically create an illusion of being more put together, boss af and fabulous.

Try out cheap (potato can’t afford sorry) but elegant accessories. If it’s a necklace try tucking it under the collar of your shirt and see the magic. Stick to one staple accessory that’s gonna be your trademark.

Tame that mane potato. Your hair isn’t gonna detangle itself. You gotta do it. I mean, don’t you love your hair?

Minimalistic colours rock. Some outfits never go old like flannels or white shirts or black dresses.

2. Feel beautiful

The lipstick does the trick for me.

Putting my hair in a sky high ponytail makes me feel like I’m a queen or something.

Save little compliments for yourself as reminders and when you get them you’ll feel 10x more beautiful than before.

Mind related stuff :

1. Deal with burnout/slump

Try to accomplish super tiny stuff. Break down every task into micromolecular basics.

Give yourself a ted talk. It works.

Sometimes the best way of dealing with burnout is by detoxing from the thing that caused burnout. Stay away form books and after some time you’ll actually want to study.

2. Study with slumps/mental illness

Step one is to finish homework /assignments. If you can concentrate on them, you’re good to go.

Do not take up a lot of load, just skimming through textbooks, reviewing notes, going over flashcards should do the trick.

If you desperately need to get shit done, just ignore the fact that you do not want to do it. It’s harsh on your mind but desperate times require desperate measures.

Avoid forcing yourself to study because you’ll not retain info like that.

Take it easy. But consistently. Maybe just one topic a day. But do not miss a day. A steady everyday practice goes long way in the future.

3. Strengthen self control

There are several apps that can help you with this, like forest. My top pick is the Tide app which has a gorgeous interface and super aesthetic timers with new pictures everyday. I shit you not every time I quit my pomodoro I feel the guilt of having killed 1000 puppies its worse and I avoid doing that at all costs.

If you study in your room, keep your phone in the kitchen for some time. Your lazy ass is less likely to get up and use the phone.

Switching the phone off before starting a study session works because I care for my phone like a baby and it feels horrible to switch it on and off and on and off.

Practice 30 minutes of digital detox everyday. You don’t have to study at that time, just stay away from everything that is technology. Read and book, eat a fruit, make a sandwich, paint, sing, dance, exercise. Study if you want. Just no gadgets.

4. Deal with stress

Yoga works. Potato body ain’t that flexible so just breathing exercises for a start is also enough.

Highly recommended : brain dump every night before sleeping can ensure that you’ll not stay up too late pondering over the meaning of your existence and world politics.

Having a hearty talk with someone you trust will also lift weight off your chest.

Pin point the cause of your stress and annihilate the problem. Slay it.

Life related stuff :

1. Drink more water

Carry a cool ass bottle of water with you every frigging where.

Make it a rule to have a drink everytime you go to the loo or you take a bath /shower.

Replace one of your daily caffeines /sugars with water. You don’t have to get rid of coffee because that’s just non potato ish, but maybe that third cup could be replaced with water.

Try a game thingy. Maybe everytime the word ‘procrastination’ pops in your mind take a drink. Wow, I’m so creative *sighs for eternities*.

2. Be more healthy

5 minute stretches right after getting up works you up.

Try one of those YouTube videos of 15 minute workouts. You can have 3 such workouts through the day and call yourself a fit potato.

Replacing one packet of junk food with nuts/fruits also works.

Everytime you hear someone say something related to money, have a banana. Random much? Nope, bananas are known to increase hormones that make you happy in your body, meaning you’ll feel full and happy. Maybe offer the person a banana too.

3. Be more happy

Eat bananas!

Take pictures of things you love, not things your followers love.

Puppies are a source of eternal joy.

Reading goofy/cheesy/romance books make you giggle and feel good in general.

Watching cheesy films or good ass romcoms works just well.

Friends was created for a reason.

Writing down what you accomplished today gives a sense of pride and satisfaction. Take that shit.

Tumblr has shitposts made basically to make you happy.

4. Find your true calling /figuring tf out what you wanna do with your life

Lists lists lists. Subjects you love, you hate, you’re good at, you suck at.

Consulting your teachers, family etc and find out what they think you’re good at. Sometimes other people can see traits of yours better than you.

Career tests rock.

You’ll figure it out in the end somehow.

And that’s about it for now folks, hope this helps. See y'all laterz~

Etudaire ♥