#I HAVE FIXED THE SLEEP HABITS (with the understanding that improvement is a journey but i am on the right trajectory)

[cowboyhorsegirl]

the problem with normal sleep schedule is that i am still tired. so what now

[flwrkid14]

Hi! Can we get some more Jason Todd: Dad Mode Activated? 🥺👉👈 maybe about how Jason helps Tim with his crushes or maybe like how to cope with some mental health struggles/ Tim comparing how different Jason lectures him to Bruce’s lectures?

Hi!! Thank you so much for the ask! <3 These are such great concepts, and I’d have so much fun exploring them! While I’m not sure I’ll make a full post for this, I’d love to share my thoughts on how these ideas could play out!

For Jason helping Tim with crushes, I feel like he’d totally be that dad—the one who embarrasses you in front of your crush on purpose. Tim, of course, doesn’t tell Jason about his crushes for this exact reason, but Jason is way too observant not to figure it out anyway. Imagine them out together (because Jason has once again dragged Tim away from his work to make him take a break), and Jason spots Tim’s current crush walking down the street. He’d nudge Tim with that smug, teasing grin of his, going, “Timmy! Look, Timbo! It’s Bernard! Isn’t he a good friend of yours? What’s he doing out here? Let’s go say hi!” And then, before Tim can protest, Jason’s already dragging him over, while Tim is blushing furiously and muttering curses under his breath. Jason’s embarrassing as hell, but... it’s also endearing. And for Tim, who didn’t grow up with that kind of playful, teasing love, it felt oddly nice... even if his dad was now enthusiastically talking about his cuddling habits when sleeping (screw him for being touch starved) to a very confused Bernard.

As for coping with mental health, Jason would be such a huge advocate. Realizing that Tim is his kid now—and that he’s essentially a dad—would really push Jason to work on his own mental health. He’d know he can’t preach good habits to Tim if he’s not setting a good example himself (because independent Tim Drake—who grew up without much supervision—definitely needs someone to lead by example. He needs proof that taking advice from someone else is worth it, especially when his own methods have always worked just fine for him).

So Jason starts his own mental health journey, taking active steps to improve himself, and Tim notices. And it hits him hard, because none of his parental figures before—Bruce or Jack—ever did that. They never cared about their own well-being for his sake, to be better parents to him. Seeing Jason make that effort makes Tim feel so incredibly loved and valued.

Jason wouldn’t just lecture Tim or bark orders at him; he’d actively help him build better habits. He’d set up mandatory family dinners once a week to encourage better eating patterns and help Tim develop routines that supported a healthier sleep schedule, tailored to his needs, once they realized the standard eight hours a night just wasn’t realistic for him.

It’s these little changes that make Tim realize just how different Jason is from Bruce.

Jason doesn’t demand things from Tim that he doesn’t practice himself. He wouldn’t tell Tim to stop working late if he wasn’t also putting his own work aside and calling it a night. If he’s telling Tim to eat better, he’s leading by example—packing ready-to-go meals for both of them when there’s no time to cook. Jason shows Tim why these changes are worth it, through actions and positive outcomes.

Bruce, on the other hand, never did that. Whatever Bruce told Tim to do was just an expectation. He’d demand Tim do better or lecture him without ever showing how or why it mattered. If Bruce criticized Tim’s performance in the field but was himself guilty of being distracted—like running off mid-patrol for a rendezvous with catwoman—Tim just nodded along and tuned him out. Bruce’s hypocrisy made it impossible for Tim to take him seriously.

But Jason? Jason shows Tim why he should listen, fixing his own behavior and performance first before ever asking the same of Tim. And that difference speaks volumes. For Tim, who’s used to parental figures endless demands with no understanding behind them, Jason’s approach feels like a breath of fresh air—and the kind of support he never knew he needed.

hopefully that lived up to your expectations! <3

[rederiswrites]

I want to talk about my health journey over this last year, improving my function and getting better with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. But talking about chronic illness is so incredibly difficult. Look at the backlash people get for saying that exercise and sunshine and regular sleep really DO help depression. What I have to say is in many ways the same thing! It's an incredibly delicate issue, and very often, talking about solutions you can implement yourself sounds like blaming people for their own suffering. On the other hand, if all you hear is the conventional medical line that there's nothing but some medicine that sort of helps, that's where you're stuck. I was stuck.

I didn't want to hear that learning to fucking relax was going to be a huge component of my journey. That sounded like exactly the same shit the people who said "have you tried yoga" and the doctors who told me it was all in my head were saying! It's not, really. Not at all. It's missing far too many critical components. But uh....learning to relax is in fact incredibly important.

For example, yes, the pain is in my head. Pain is ALWAYS in our heads!! That is where the brain decides to interpret data received from the nerves as pain! It is ALWAYS heavily influenced by factors well beyond the objective experience. Science has thoroughly demonstrated that we can feel pain without an injury--indeed, that we can feel pain when the sensory input wasn't even on our body! And in the inverse, we can have injuries and not experience pain. Pain is not nearly as reliable a signal of injury as we believe it to be.

And yes! Yoga might help! It helps a lot of people! But if you go and do yoga with, say, a teacher who is not trauma-informed, or without at least some understanding of what your nervous system is up to, or the strains and trouble points in your body, you'll get little benefit and might experience harm.

The nervous system is our body's OS, in a very real sense, and for me as for many people, addressing that turns out to be really important to healing. But the nervous system isn't really designed to be user serviceable! So if it's being overreactive, constantly on high alert, keeping you in a stress response that physically blocks healing, feeling pain where there's really only a light and innocuous pressure, or maybe just a runaway inflammatory response that, like a highway traffic jam, is literally just creating itself-- well, fixing that is hardly a matter of just "oh silly goose you should stop that! It's all in my head!" But there are ways. Mindfulness techniques. Visualization. Meditation. I almost mistyped medication but it's actually true--a lot of the time fibro and ME/CFS patients get treated with antidepressants! It does help, for a while, but it doesn't change the underlying problem much.

For me, while I've tried and gotten benefit from some of those--actually, come to think, ALL of those things--pure information is my medicine of choice. Just exposing myself over and over to the message that you can get better, that people have, that there's nothing detectable mechanically wrong with me, to the science of physiology and the nervous system and pain. Books, TED talks, youtube videos, research papers, articles...

And most importantly, I had to commit. I had to reach a point where I said, I will do whatever it takes. No comfort, no habit, is more important than getting better, and I believe I can get better. No doctor ever told me that--I had to find survivors who had recovered online, largely by accident. Once I believed I could get better, working to achieve that goal became vastly easier. So I radically changed my diet. I restructured my days massively. I spent hundreds of hours consuming information that reinforced my hope and commitment and my understanding of the problems. I worked incredibly hard to get my sleep under control, and it's an ongoing process but there has been progress.

Today, I got out of bed before the second alarm that tells me to get off my phone and get up. Because getting up wasn't so crushingly hard. I didn't have a perfect night's sleep, but it was enough. Yesterday, and the day before, I worked steadily through the day, I accomplished my goals, and I didn't end the day crushingly drained OR bubbling with adrenaline from pushing myself beyond my normal limits. I don't need to recover, today. Because I didn't do more than I could sustainably do, and yet I made progress. I did laundry. Had great conversations. Planted three dozen tulips. Pulled weeds. Attended a webinar and learned how my state legislature works. Took care of the chickens. Ate a really healthy lunch that I enjoyed, and made the family a really healthy, delicious dinner. Caught up on the news with the family and then read a thought-provoking book. Made beads.

I still have a long way to climb on this spiral staircase. Probably the cold weather and midwinter will really challenge my ability to regulate myself and stay functional. I still have to incorporate regular exercise as a critical pillar of ongoing good health. I'm still struggling to find resources on meditation and mindfulness practice that I resonate with. (Three books in on that subject, one of which was interesting but annoying, two of which I actually quit in exasperation.) But I do really feel like I'm making progress that's not just luck or the usual fluctuation of symptoms. I am, in quiet ways, doing Pretty Okay. And that's a lot, when you've been bedbound.

[dietitiangagan]

How to Build a Sustainable Weight Loss Plan

Weight loss is a goal many strive for, but the key to success lies not in quick fixes or extreme diets, but in creating a sustainable weight loss plan that you can stick with for the long term. As a dietitian in Chandigarh, I emphasize the importance of balanced nutrition, realistic goals, and lifestyle changes that support not just weight loss, but overall health. In this blog, we’ll explore the steps to building a sustainable weight loss plan that works for you.

1. Start with Realistic Goals

One of the first steps in creating a sustainable weight loss plan is setting realistic goals. It’s essential to understand that healthy weight loss takes time. Aiming to lose 1-2 pounds per week is a safe and achievable target. Quick weight loss methods might promise immediate results, but they often lead to regaining the weight once the diet is stopped. A dietitian in Chandigarh can help you assess your body’s needs and set achievable goals that fit your lifestyle and health conditions.

2. Focus on a Balanced Diet

A balanced diet is at the heart of any effective weight loss plan. Rather than following restrictive diets, which can be hard to maintain, aim for a diet that includes a variety of nutrient-rich foods. This should include:

Lean proteins (chicken, fish, legumes, tofu)

Healthy fats (avocados, nuts, olive oil)

Fiber-rich foods (whole grains, vegetables, fruits)

Complex carbohydrates (brown rice, quinoa, oats)

As a dietitian in Chandigarh, I often emphasize the importance of portion control and mindful eating. Even healthy foods can contribute to weight gain if consumed in excess, so being mindful of your portions and hunger cues is crucial.

3. Incorporate Regular Physical Activity

Exercise is an essential part of any weight loss journey. However, it’s important to choose activities that you enjoy and can incorporate into your routine consistently. Whether it’s walking, swimming, cycling, or yoga, staying active helps you burn calories, boosts metabolism, and improves overall health.

As a dietitian in Chandigarh, I recommend pairing strength training with aerobic exercises for optimal results. Strength training helps build muscle, which in turn increases your resting metabolic rate, allowing you to burn more calories even when you’re not working out.

4. Focus on Long-Term Lifestyle Changes

A sustainable weight loss plan isn’t just about dieting; it’s about changing your relationship with food and your lifestyle. Rather than relying on temporary diets, focus on making healthier choices in the long run. This includes:

Reducing processed food intake

Drinking plenty of water

Getting enough sleep (aim for 7-9 hours per night)

Managing stress effectively through relaxation techniques like meditation

These lifestyle changes will support your weight loss goals and help you maintain a healthy weight for the long term. Consulting with a dietitian in Chandigarh can help you understand which changes are most suitable for your individual needs and preferences.

5. Track Your Progress and Stay Consistent

Tracking your progress can help keep you motivated and make adjustments as needed. Keep a food diary or use an app to track your meals, exercise, and other habits. Monitoring your weight, energy levels, and emotional well-being will help you assess if your plan is working or needs tweaking.

Consistency is key. It’s easy to get discouraged if results don’t come immediately, but remember, slow and steady wins the race. As a dietitian in Chandigarh, I always encourage my clients to stay patient and focused on their long-term health goals.

6. Seek Support When Needed

Embarking on a weight loss journey can be challenging, and it’s important to have a support system in place. Whether it’s friends, family, or a healthcare professional like a dietitian in Chandigarh, having someone to guide and motivate you can make a significant difference. A dietitian can provide personalized advice, monitor your progress, and help you make adjustments to your plan as needed.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

Remember, sustainable weight loss is not about perfection, but about progress. It’s normal to have setbacks, and it’s important not to be too hard on yourself. Instead of focusing on occasional slip-ups, focus on your overall journey and the positive changes you’re making for your health.

Conclusion

Building a sustainable weight loss plan takes time, patience, and commitment. By setting realistic goals, focusing on balanced nutrition, staying active, making long-term lifestyle changes, and seeking support when needed, you can create a plan that works for you. As a dietitian in Chandigarh, I always tell my clients that it’s not about the destination but about creating healthy habits that will last a lifetime.

If you’re looking to start your weight loss journey or need guidance on creating a sustainable plan tailored to your needs, feel free to reach out. Let’s work together to build a healthier, happier you!

[enjoythejourneywithhc]

Enjoying the Journey, Habitually

Habits...

We all have them. Why am I talking about them? Because once you do something frequently, it becomes a habit. Habits eventually become who you are.

According to Heart.org:

"Research has shown that what you've done before is a strong indicator of what you'll do next. This means established habits are hard to break. But if you keep at it, your new behaviors will turn into habits, too."

What does this mean for you? It means that the more you do that unhealthy habit, the harder it will become to break. And the harder it is to break, the more likely you will be stuck with bad habits.

Bad habits could make you have issues in school, with relationships, and with mental health.

Bad habits include things like procrastinating, sleeping late, being late, not exercising, etc.

These bad habits will not go away over night. They take work to fix but it is important to have a reason why. If you do not have a reason why, it will be hard to break.

Another thing with habits is that focusing on the bad ones will leave your old ways stuck in your mind. Instead, focus on replacing them with good habits, in mind and in actions.

Having good habits will allow you to be successful.

Instead of sleeping late, you can go to sleep earlier by relaxing better before bed. Procrastinating is something I struggle with and it is hard to break that. One thing I do to help is put it in a to-do list of assignments and say it is due 1-2 days before the actual due date. Now, this is not always feasible with exams, other assignments, and studying, so I understand. In those times, just try and get a little ahead when you can.

I hope you use this to help foster new habits that will improve your daily lives. The better the habits, the better your life and the more likely you will be to enjoy the journey!

[curiousquill1]

Wellness Travel Benefits: Transform Your Health in 2024

Picture yourself waking up to gentle mountain breezes, your mind clear and body energized, far from deadline pressures and endless notifications. Wellness travel packages offer this transformative escape, but their benefits extend far beyond a simple vacation. Let's explore how these carefully curated experiences can reshape your approach to health and happiness.

1. Deep Mental Reset and Stress Relief

The constant juggle between career demands and personal life often leaves us mentally exhausted. Wellness travel packages address this through:

Guided meditation sessions in serene natural settings

Professional stress management workshops

Digital detox opportunities that break unhealthy patterns

Mindfulness practices you can continue at home

A recent guest, Michael, shares: "After three days at my wellness retreat, I felt mental clarity I hadn't experienced in years. The techniques I learned have helped me maintain that peace even after returning to work."

2. Sustainable Physical Transformation

Unlike traditional gym memberships or crash diets, wellness packages provide comprehensive fitness support:

Personalized fitness assessments and goal setting

Expert-led outdoor activities that make exercise enjoyable

Nutritionist-designed meal plans

Take-home workout routines

Long-term health strategy development

Sarah, a marketing executive, notes: "The fitness program wasn't about quick fixes. They taught me sustainable habits I could maintain in my daily life, and six months later, I'm still following the plan."

3. Nutrition Education and Mindful Eating

These packages transform your relationship with food through:

Hands-on cooking classes with health-focused chefs

Understanding nutritional science behind food choices

Learning mindful eating practices

Exploring local, organic ingredients

Creating practical meal planning strategies

4. Professional Health Guidance

Access to health professionals sets these packages apart:

One-on-one consultations with wellness experts

Personalized health assessments

Custom wellness plans based on individual needs

Expert advice on ongoing health maintenance

Follow-up support after your return home

5. Community and Connection

Perhaps the most unexpected benefit comes from the connections formed:

Meeting like-minded individuals on similar journeys

Group activities that foster genuine connections

Shared experiences creating lasting friendships

Support network extending beyond the retreat

Ongoing community engagement opportunities

Choosing Your Perfect Wellness Package

When selecting a wellness travel package, consider:

Location Impact

Different environments offer unique benefits:

Mountain settings for clean air and challenging hikes

Coastal locations for vitamin D and water activities

Forest surroundings for nature therapy

Desert landscapes for peaceful reflection

Program Duration

Options typically include:

Weekend resets (perfect for busy professionals)

Week-long transformations

Extended stays for deep lifestyle changes

Custom durations based on your needs

Specialty Focus

Programs often specialize in:

Stress management and mental health

Weight loss and fitness

Spiritual wellness

Chronic condition management

General health optimization

Making Your Wellness Journey Count

The key to maximizing your wellness travel experience lies in preparation and commitment:

Set clear intentions before your journey

Communicate specific health goals to program leaders

Remain open to new experiences and challenges

Plan for implementing learned practices at home

Consider follow-up support options

Long-Term Value

While wellness travel packages represent a significant investment, their value extends far beyond the duration of your stay. Participants report:

Improved productivity at work

Better stress management

Lasting healthy habits

Enhanced sleep quality

Stronger personal relationships

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a wellness travel specialist guide you to find the right package that would cater perfectly with your aspirations? Whether it is a weekend getaway that may energize you or an intensive health transformation to get your life on the right track, we are here for you. We understand that everyone's journey is uniquely different and, therefore, take the time to hear yours. We work together to find a program that fits very well with your schedule, and our aim is to ensure alignment with your wellness goals. Let us walk this transformation road together!

[herb24x7com]

What to Focus on for Weight Loss: A Guide to Sustainable Success

When it comes to weight loss, knowing where to focus your efforts can make all the difference. Many people get sidetracked by common misconceptions and quick fixes that promise rapid results but rarely deliver sustainable success. This guide will help you understand what you might be focusing on now and what you should focus on instead for effective and lasting weight loss.

What You Might Be Focusing on Now

Eliminating All Carbs

Carbohydrates have been vilified in many popular diets, leading people to believe that cutting them out completely is the key to weight loss. While reducing refined carbs can be beneficial, eliminating all carbs is neither necessary nor sustainable.

Finding the Best Diet

The quest for the perfect diet can be overwhelming. With so many options out there, it’s easy to fall into the trap of switching from one diet to another, hoping to find a magic solution.

Fat Burners and Quick Fixes

Fat burners, detox teas, and other quick fixes often promise rapid weight loss. However, these solutions are rarely effective in the long term and can sometimes be harmful.

Finding the Best Exercise

Spending hours searching for the most effective workout can lead to frustration. While exercise is important, it's just one piece of the weight loss puzzle.

What You Should Focus on Instead

Being in a Calorie Deficit

The fundamental principle of weight loss is being in a calorie deficit, meaning you consume fewer calories than you burn. Focus on creating a balanced diet that allows you to maintain a calorie deficit without feeling deprived.

Getting Quality Sleep

Sleep is often overlooked in weight loss journeys. Poor sleep can disrupt hormones that regulate hunger, leading to increased appetite and cravings. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night.

Drinking More Water

Staying hydrated is crucial for overall health and can aid in weight loss. Drinking water before meals can help control appetite and prevent overeating.

Staying Active

Regular physical activity is essential for weight loss and overall health. Aim for a mix of cardio, strength training, and flexibility exercises. Find activities you enjoy to make it easier to stay consistent.

Eating More Protein

Protein is vital for building and repairing tissues, and it can also help you feel fuller for longer. Incorporate a variety of protein sources, such as lean meats, beans, nuts, and dairy, into your diet.

Debunking Myths: Thinking Fruit Makes You Fat

One common myth is that eating fruit can make you gain weight due to its sugar content. In reality, fruits are packed with essential vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Including a variety of fruits in your diet can support your weight loss efforts and overall health.

Conclusion

Shifting your focus from quick fixes and misconceptions to sustainable habits is the key to successful weight loss. By concentrating on being in a calorie deficit, getting quality sleep, staying hydrated, staying active, and eating more protein, you can achieve your weight loss goals in a healthy and sustainable way.

FAQs

Q: Is it necessary to cut out all carbs to lose weight?

A: No, it's not necessary to eliminate all carbs. Focus on reducing refined carbs and choosing whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

Q: Can I lose weight without exercising?

A: While you can lose weight by being in a calorie deficit, incorporating regular exercise can enhance your results and improve overall health.

Q: How much protein should I eat for weight loss?

A: It varies by individual, but a general guideline is to include protein in every meal. Aim for about 0.8-1.2 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight.

By understanding where to focus your efforts, you can create a weight loss plan that is both effective and sustainable. Remember, it’s about making healthy choices that you can maintain for life.

[likitakans]

10 Life-Changing Habits That Will Transform You Into Your Best Self (You Won't Believe #7!)

Imagine having the energy, focus, and readiness to take on any challenge each day when you wake up. Imagine yourself having a successful career, having meaningful relationships with others, and experiencing a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. What if I told you that you can actually make this a reality and not just a dream? The mindset and habits you develop will hold the key to success.

Self-improvement is a journey that can result in amazing changes in all facets of your life, not just a motto. Though it may seem difficult, making small, deliberate changes along the way will eventually lead to your best self. The habits you develop now can have a significant influence on your future by enabling you to reach your full potential and lead a passionate, purposeful life.

This blog post shares ten game-changing routines that will transform your life and help you reach your full potential. These techniques, which range from easy daily routines to potent mental adjustments, are meant to uplift and empower you. These transformative habits will support you on your path to self-improvement, whether your goals are to increase productivity, improve your well-being, or realize your dreams.

The twist is that while you may believe you understand what it takes to better yourself, you may be surprised by some of these habits, particularly habit #7. Prepare yourself, then, for a journey that will change you. Adopt these routines, and observe how they enable you to achieve unprecedented success and satisfaction. Your best self is waiting!

1. Embrace the Power of Morning Routines

The way you start the day determines how the rest of it goes. Crafting a morning routine that energizes and motivates you can make a world of difference. Start with small steps—like a few minutes of stretching, meditation, or reading—and gradually build a routine that aligns with your goals. Consistency is key!

2. Set SMART Goals

A clear path to success is provided by SMART goals—specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Divide up your bigger goals into smaller, more achievable tasks, and monitor your advancement on a regular basis. By acknowledging and appreciating your little victories along the way, this helps you stay motivated and focused.

3. Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Accept challenges as chances to improve and learn. Having a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset enables you to see setbacks as opportunities for improvement. Surround yourself with positive influences, seek feedback, and always be willing to learn.

4. Prioritize Physical Health

The vehicle that transports you through life is your body. Maintaining your physical health is largely dependent on getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. These practices raise your vitality and mental clarity in addition to your general well-being.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

It is important to take some time out of the daily grind to center yourself. Meditating and practicing mindfulness can help you become more connected to yourself, focus better, and feel less stressed. Your mental health can be significantly improved by practicing mindfulness for even a short period of time each day.

6. Expand Your Knowledge

Make learning your lifelong goal. Stay curious, attend workshops, read books, and enroll in online courses. The more information you gain, the better prepared you are to face obstacles and take advantage of opportunities.

7. Develop Emotional Intelligence

Comprehending and regulating your feelings along with having empathy for others are essential abilities in both personal and professional spheres. By engaging in active listening, effectively handling stress, and being conscious of your own emotional triggers, you can raise your emotional intelligence.

8. Build Strong Relationships

Be in the company of positive and motivating people. Having solid relationships with friends, family, and coworkers creates a network of encouragement and support. Take the time to cultivate these relationships and show genuine concern for other people's welfare.

9. Embrace Change and Adaptability

Nothing remains constant. Learn to accept it rather than to fight against it. Having these qualities will help you navigate the uncertainties of life. When faced with change, concentrate on the advantages that might arise and the chances for development.

10. Reflect and Celebrate Progress

Take regular breaks to consider your journey. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and assess areas where you can improve. You can gain valuable insights into your progress and areas for further development through self-reflection, which also helps to boost your confidence. 

Conclusion: Your Journey to Self-Improvement

Self-improvement is a process rather than a final goal. You open the door to personal development and fulfillment when you incorporate these routines into your everyday existence. Recall that perseverance, patience, and a sincere desire to become the best version of yourself are the keys to self-improvement. So, start this adventure now to realize your infinite potential.

[fitnesslife21]

The Organic Way: Achieving Sustainable Weight Loss Naturally

In a world filled with trendy diets and quick fixes, achieving sustainable weight loss can feel like an impossible task. But what if I told you that there's a natural, organic approach that not only helps you shed pounds but also promotes long-term health and vitality? Welcome to the organic way of achieving sustainable weight loss.

Get Access Now:

Understanding Sustainable Weight Loss

Sustainable weight loss is about more than just shedding pounds; it's about making lasting changes to your lifestyle that support your overall well-being. It involves adopting habits that you can maintain for the long haul, rather than resorting to short-term solutions that leave you feeling deprived and frustrated.

The Benefits of Going Organic

One of the key principles of the organic approach to weight loss is choosing whole, unprocessed foods that are free from synthetic pesticides, hormones, and genetically modified organisms (GMOs). By prioritizing organic produce and minimally processed foods, you not only nourish your body with essential nutrients but also support environmental sustainability.

The Key Principles of Organic Weight Loss

A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats forms the foundation of organic weight loss. By consuming nutrient-dense foods in appropriate portions, you provide your body with the fuel it needs for optimal function while promoting satiety and preventing cravings.

Incorporating Organic Foods

Choosing organic produce and whole grains ensures that you're getting the most nutritional bang for your buck, while also supporting sustainable farming practices. By opting for organic options, you reduce your exposure to harmful chemicals and support the health of both your body and the planet.

Avoiding Processed Foods

Processed foods are often loaded with added sugars, unhealthy fats, and artificial additives, all of which can sabotage your weight loss efforts. By minimizing your intake of processed snacks, beverages, and convenience foods, you can focus on nourishing your body with wholesome, nutrient-rich options.

Meal Planning and Preparation

Planning meals in advance and batch cooking staple ingredients can help you make healthier choices and avoid impulsive eating decisions. By creating a weekly meal plan and grocery list, you can streamline the cooking process and ensure you have nutritious options readily available.

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Mindful Eating Practices

Practicing mindfulness while eating involves paying attention to your body's hunger and fullness cues, as well as the sensory experience of food. By slowing down and savoring each bite, you can enhance satisfaction, prevent overeating, and develop a healthier relationship with food.

The Importance of Physical Activity

Regular exercise is essential for burning calories, building lean muscle mass, and improving overall fitness. Whether it's cardio, strength training, yoga, or outdoor activities, finding enjoyable forms of exercise helps make physical activity a sustainable habit.

Stress Management and Quality Sleep

Chronic stress and inadequate sleep can both interfere with your weight loss goals. Incorporating stress-reducing activities such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help promote relaxation and well-being. Likewise, prioritizing quality sleep is essential for regulating hormone levels, appetite, and metabolism.

Monitoring Your Progress and Overcoming Challenges

Tracking your food intake, exercise, and progress towards your goals can help you stay on track and identify areas for improvement. It's also important to recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the journey and to seek support from friends, family, or health professionals when needed.

Conclusion

Embracing the organic way of achieving sustainable weight loss offers numerous benefits for both your physical and mental well-being. By prioritizing whole, unprocessed foods, regular physical activity, mindfulness, and self-care practices, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with food and achieve lasting results.

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[hammershealthyhabits]

Finding Your Self-Care Groove

Why is it so important to take care of yourself and your well-being? There are many ways you can contribute to taking care of yourself, whether that be your body or mind.  Today this blog will discuss why self-care is so important and how it can be accomplished. Remember what self-care is about when reading these tips and bits of information… YOU!

         Self-care is the practice of maintaining the well-being of your mind, body, and soul. Taking good care of yourself is important and may involve activities such as setting new boundaries for yourself and making time to ensure you are creating an environment that is healthy for you. According to CBT professionals in “The Psychology Behind Self-Care and Why It Is Important,” some benefits of prioritizing self-care consist of reduced stress, better relationships, increased productivity, and improved physical health (McKeany, 2023) https://cbtprofessionals.com.au/the-psychology-behind-self-care-and-why-it-is important/#:~:text=Self%2Dcare%20practices%20help%20us,our%20goals%20and%20well%2Dbeing. Physical, mental, and emotional health are all linked together, and failing to care for one can lead to the decline of another.

         Self-care can be critical to your mental state and well-being for many reasons! By taking care of yourself, you are also increasing your positive outlook on life and decreasing levels of anxiety in depression. Because of the state of the world we live in and all the stress that individuals under a large amount of stress feel every day, feelings of sadness, burnout, and exhaustion are common. These things can cause us to feel tired or worn out and we tend to take it out on those around us or give into habits that may feel good but are just a temporary fix. Psychology Today describes self-care as, “revolved around caring for—and maximizing—our four sources of energy: the food we eat, our sleep, our breath (our physical activity levels), and our state of mind,” (Vermani, 2023) www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-deeper-wellness/202302/understanding-the-mental-health-and-self-care-connection.

         Small acts of self-nurturing incorporated into your weekly routine can easily boost energy, help you keep viruses away, and maintain a healthy state of mind. The National Institute of Mental Health describes mental health as “more than the absence of a mental illness—it’s essential to your overall health and quality of life,” (NIMH, 2022) www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health.  Knowing your own body and what it needs is crucial to choosing how you start your self-care journey. You may already have some things that you enjoy that can become a form of self-care if you do them more often. This may also require you to try new things, go to new places, or do different activities.

         Now that we have talked about the details of how personal care is connected to your mental and physical health, I would like to share my journey with self-care and how it has changed the way I view myself and my well-being. My self-care journey began after I quit playing travel softball. While playing travel softball, I was overworked in the gym and at practice. I often found myself in the same cycle of school, homework on the way to practice or lifting, sleep, and repeating it all the next day. When the weekend came around, I would be at a tournament playing three to five games a day and completing as much schoolwork in my in-between game breaks as I could. I was visiting the dermatologist monthly for acne on my face, chest, and back that could not be controlled with topical medications and treatments. It was not until the end of my sophomore year of high school that I decided I had enough of this crazy schedule that was so draining to me mentally and physically. I realized how much effort I was putting into a sport that I no longer enjoyed and neglecting my personal health at the same time.

         One fact I can say about my well-being while in a travel sport was that I was in the best shape of my life. I was physically the most fit I will probably ever be. With that being said, I was taking Advil for sore muscles, and had cuts, bruises, and burns on my knees and arms from diving and sliding on hot turf or sand. Although my BMI looked great on paper, my body was in a constant state of “healing mode.” On top of playing a physically demanding sport, I had just started taking Accutane at 15 years old for my cystic, painful acne. Unfortunately, because of its adverse side effects, Accutane dries out the fluid that cushions your joints. Because of this and the constant physical activities I was in, my body was achy and sore all the time for six long months.

         When I finally mustered up the courage to say no to something more harmful to my mental and physical health than beneficial, my point of view on self-care and how I felt in my skin completely changed. I suddenly had all this available time to do things that fulfilled me and alleviated my stress. I was finally able to get a job that allowed me to spend money when I spent time with my friends trying new coffee shops or getting a facial. I could pay for the gas money it took me to drive to my grandparents’ house and spend the weekend with them. I was connecting more with my friends at school, and I even got myself a boyfriend. For years my only social life was softball and my teammates. I was stuck in a little bubble. I was being criticized by those around me constantly when I could not hit a small yellow ball with a stick. How detrimental is that to a young girl’s mental health?

         There are quite a few things that I have added to my routine to take care of myself since my sophomore year of high school. My top five are skincare, coffee shops, pilates, sufficient sleep, and outdoor time. I started to care more about my skincare in my mid-teenage years. I started incorporating facials, layered skin products, and frequent face masks into my life. I felt more confident and secure about my image and in turn, started healing my mental health. I also allow myself to spend a small allowance of my money trying new coffee shops and coffee concoctions.

         Another huge part of my life that I continued even into college is going to the gym. I have found my balance of pilates, treadmill time, and weightlifting that makes it truly enjoyable to go to the gym four to five times a week. Physical activity looks different to everyone, and I am so glad that I finally found what works for me! One form of self-care that I struggle with but have been trying to improve on is getting enough sleep every night. I have trouble falling asleep at night and often have to wake up early for work or school. It is a habit that I am trying to form that I think is crucial to living a more productive, healthy life.

         The final thing that I have found to be beneficial to my well-being is being outdoors and connecting with nature. Being at the beach, spending time in the sun, riding bikes outside, going for a walk on a nice day, or just lying in a hammock in between classes are all ways I try to soak up sun rays and get fresh air. I think being outdoors and getting vitamin D and fresh air is helpful to clear my mind and be more positive.

         Just because these are the things that work for me, does not mean they will work for everyone. There is a numerous amount of ways you can take care of yourself and improve your mental health. For most people, finding the time in their busy lives to accomplish some form of self-care is nearly impossible. In her Harvard Business Review article “There’s No Right Way To DO Self-Care,” Alyssa Westring suggests that anyone looking to better themselves or start exploring personal care begin to look for patterns when they feel drained and when they are energized or invigorated (Westring, 2021) https://hbr.org/2021/04/theres-no-right-way-to-do-self-care. By deciding you are going to start paying more attention to and tending to the wellness of your mind and body, you can start to seek out more opportunities to sneak in some time for yourself in that crazy schedule.

         Catherine Beard, the creator of The Blissful Mind blog, suggests that any person who is in the process of their self-care journey should focus on optimizing one of the seven pillars of self-care until they are ready to move on to the next. Those pillars of self-care are as follows: mental, emotional, physical, environmental, spiritual, recreational, and social (Beard, 2021) https://theblissfulmind.com/pillars-of-self-care/. There are many resources and articles available if you have no idea where to start on your healthcare journey. Here are some suggestions or ideas that I can share with you now to help you get started! Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life is a blog that has many self-care tips. Michelle lists some of her favorite self-care practices, which are, positive thinking, hydration, feel-good movement, meditation, journaling, being nurtured by nature, caring for the skin you are in, letting go of judgment, and sleep (Maros, 2024) https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/4-self-care-practices-to-help-you-connect-with-yourself/. Even though some of those seem like simple tasks, if you give them a bit more time and effort and start to focus on what makes you better mentally and physically, you will start to notice an improved mindset and feeling about life and yourself.

         We have discussed many ways in which you can take care of your mind, body, and spirit. I hope these tips and a little more information about my self-care journey spark the flame in you to begin yours as well! Remember, self-care is all about you. Finding your groove and realizing what practices improve your mental and physical health as an individual is the first step to transforming how you look after yourself. I hope this was helpful to your self-care and wellness process. Thank you for reading :)

Works Cited:

Beard, Catherine. “The 7 Pillars of Self-Care and How To Use Them.” The Blissful Mind, The Blissful Mind LLC, 10 Feb. 2021, https://theblissfulmind.com/pillars-of-self-care/. Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.

Gallo, Kim. “Self-Care in Skincare: Connection between Skincare & Mental Health.” Kim Gallo Esthetics, Kim Gallo Esthetics, 18 July 2023, kimgalloesthetics.com/blog/self-care-skincare.  

Maros, Michelle. “4 Self-Care Practices to Help You Connect With Yourself.” Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, 2024, https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/4-self-care-practices-to-help-you-connect-with-yourself/. Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.

McKean, Briony. “The Psychology Behind Self-Care and Why It Is Important.” Psychologist Gold Coast - CBT Professionals, Briony McKean, 31 May 2023, cbtprofessionals.com.au/the-psychology-behind-self-care-and-why-it-is-important/#:~:text=Self%2Dcare%20practices%20help%20us,our%20goals%20and%20well%2Dbeing. 

NIMH. “Caring for Your Mental Health.” National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health. Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.

Vermani C. Psych., Monica. “The Connection between Self-Care and Mental Health.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-deeper-wellness/202302/understanding-the-mental-health-and-self-care-connection. Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.

Westring, Alyssa. “There’s No ‘Right’ Way to Do Self-Care.” Harvard Business Review, Harvard Business School Publishing, 11 Oct. 2021, hbr.org/2021/04/theres-no-right-way-to-do-self-care.

[fitjourneydaily]

Discover the Power of Puravive: An Effective Weight Loss Solution

Welcome to our comprehensive guide exploring Puravive, an effective weight loss solution that can help you achieve your health and wellness goals. In this article, we will dive deep into the benefits, science, and success stories surrounding Puravive, shedding light on why it has become a popular choice among individuals striving for long-term weight loss. I. Understanding the Need for an Effective Weight Loss Solution Maintaining a healthy weight is not only crucial for our physical appearance but also for our overall well-being. Excess weight can lead to a multitude of health issues, including heart disease, diabetes, and sleep apnea, to name a few. Unfortunately, the modern lifestyle, characterized by sedentary habits and processed foods, has made weight management a challenging task for many. II. The Science Behind Puravive: An Innovative Approach to Weight Loss Puravive takes a unique approach to weight loss by combining the power of science and nature. Its formula is meticulously crafted using natural ingredients known for their weight loss properties. One of the key ingredients found in Puravive is green coffee bean extract, which has been studied for its potential to increase metabolism and reduce body fat. Additionally, Puravive contains a blend of powerful antioxidants that help enhance the body's natural detoxification process. III. Key Benefits of Puravive as an Effective Weight Loss Solution 1. Sustainable Weight Loss: Puravive focuses on long-term results rather than quick fixes. By targeting the root causes of weight gain, such as slow metabolism and inefficient fat burning, Puravive helps individuals achieve sustainable weight loss. 2. Increased Energy Levels: Puravive's natural ingredients work synergistically to provide an energy boost. This increased energy can support individuals in engaging in physical activities and maintaining an active lifestyle. 3. Appetite Control: One of the significant challenges in weight management is controlling cravings and suppressing appetite. Puravive's ingredients help suppress hunger, making it easier to adhere to a balanced and calorie-controlled diet. 4. Enhanced Detoxification: Puravive's blend of antioxidants aids the body's detoxification process, supporting overall health and well-being. IV. Success Stories: Real People, Real Results The success stories of individuals who have benefited from Puravive speak volumes about its efficacy. Many users have reported significant weight loss, improved confidence, and a renewed sense of vitality. These transformations are a testament to the effectiveness of Puravive as a weight loss solution. Tags: 1. Weight Loss 2. Puravive 3. Effective Weight Loss Solution 4. Health and Wellness Conclusion In conclusion, if you are looking for an effective weight loss solution to transform your life, Puravive is worth considering. With its natural ingredients, scientific approach, and numerous benefits, Puravive has become a go-to choice for those seeking sustainable weight loss. Don't let excess weight hold you back any longer – start your journey towards improved health and well-being with Puravive today. Note: The word count for each section is approximate and can be adjusted as per your requirements Weight loss can be a challenging journey, but with the right strategies and determination, you can achieve your Weight Loss, goals. Read the full article

[wobblefloss]

STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WAS STILL ABLED...

It's not always obvious what's wrong.

.

Hi, Doctor. I'm tired. Like, all the time.

No. All the time. I wake up exhausted. I fall asleep at work. I fall asleep in the shower. I'm scared to drive.

No, Doctor. You don't understand. I'm not 'sleepy.' Not 'drowsy.' I'm tired in my bones. My blood feels heavy. The weight of my head hurts my neck. I can't think sometimes--I forget how to read--i get lost in familiar places! I say 'tired,' but I mean that 80% of my life, I feel like a sloppy heap of mud splattering and crumbling from too much moving, too much thinking, too much feeling, too much light, too much noise, too much everything. I'm confused and disoriented and like I'm in a terrible dream.

Oh.

That's a symptom of a lot of things?

Anemia. Migraine. Sleep apnea. Vitamin deficiency. Thyroid dysfunctions. Brain diseases. Heart diseases. Neurological disorders. Blood disorders. Autoimmune issues. Depression and other psychiatric conditions. Lifestyle choices: sleep, food, activity level. Environmental factors: mold, pollution, allergies.

There's a lot of testing to rule things out, huh? Could take years? Yes, I know it will be expensive. Yes, I accept that some of the tests will hurt. Yes, I commit to rearranging my eating/sleeping/exercising habits and seeing every recommended specialist.

Doctor, you don't understand. Either we find an answer, no matter how long it takes, or I am trapped outside of the world forever for no reason. Not testing won't make these horrible feelings stop.

Can you imagine feeling this way? Always? During your friends' birthdays? When your boss demands work? When you're home alone in the middle of the night trying to remember how the sink works? During the commute. During the shower. Taking out the trash. Feeding the cats. Staring at your bills. Talking with your family. For years... weddings, funerals, holidays, weekends, 4am, 4pm, when your loved ones need you, during every emergency, while you fail at your job, at your hobbies, at your relationships, at being your basic self?

Fuck, Yes! Doctor! Run! The! Tests! We are burning daylight!! Let's get this ball rolling! Journey of a thousand miles, begins with single step, etc!

I do want to feel better. This is not my imagination. It's not my fault. I am a reliable witness to my own life and I don't care how many tests 'come back normal.' Those must be the wrong tests to find what's haywire. I know something is wrong and even if we can't fix it, I must understand it.

.

I'm now in year 7 of trying to improve my situation. I know so much more about my conditions than I did. I am getting help. I still don't have a full picture. I'm still disabled.

But it's not like it was.

Please. Don't give up. Diagnosis can take years. Some people never get a firm answer. Regardless, you will learn ways to cope. You will meet people who help you cope. Don't give up on yourself. You are worth the effort.

.

Seems like something we should all know.

.

.

.

Disability happens to people without our control or consent. Every single disabled person has strong feelings about their own situation and I would not presume to talk about anyone’s thoughts but my own. But none of us chose to do life on hardmode, so if the world could listen this month, there’s a lot to say.

[theprincientist]

7 Things You Can Do For Yourself Before The Year Ends

Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do, think about what you can still do.

Choose only one thing you wish to improve in your life. It can be small like sleeping an hour earlier or drinking more water.

Work on that for the next 4 months.

Working on small things can bring significant improvements to your life. They help you build the discipline and consistency you need for other, more essential habits.

If you can work on small things consistently and see the change, you will add more small things to change.

Many small habits compiled, build a better life. Start small. Don’t underestimate small changes.

𝟕 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 (𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮):

𝟏. 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐇𝐲𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐞

You can start by setting a fixed time to sleep and wake up. And remove distractions from your sleep area.

Your brain and body will thank you.

Having good sleep habits is good for both your physical and mental health.

Medical Article About Sleep Hygiene here: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene

𝟐. 𝐄𝐱𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

The goal should not be achieving a certain body aesthetic. Especially because the results from exercise take a long time to be physically noticeable.

If you are exercising for aesthetics you will be disappointed very quickly and more likely to give up.

The focus should be on your health. You may feel young and fine without exercise in your life right now, but I want you to think about who you want to be in 1 year, and 2 years.

That version of you needs you to be healthy and fit to face the challenges life brings you.

You should exercise as frequently as you can, for how long you have within that day. If it is once a week for 15 minutes, it is more that what you did before.

Medical Article of the benefits of exercise here:

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-health-benefits/

𝟑. 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Moderate exposure to the sun has many benefits. It can help you sleep better, uplift your mood and boost your energy levels.

I deliberately started getting sunlight this year and my anxiety level drooped from 90 to 10%.

A 2020 review suggests you have a higher risk of depression if you have low vitamin D levels. And vitamin D, unlike other essential vitamins, must be obtained from sunlight.

It is suggested to spend at least 30 minutes a day. Don't forget your sunscreen.

Scientific Article About The Benefits of Sunlight:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2290997/

𝟒. 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬

Besides the obvious accumulation of knowledge, reading can improve brain connectivity and increase your vocabulary and comprehension.

You will be more open-minded and gain a better understanding of others and yourself.

I have been reading a chapter a day from books I've had on my shelf for years, and I already finished a few.

Small efforts brought me many changes in mindset and actions. Give yourself a try as well.

If you don't like reading try audiobooks. I suggest you start with these 4 recommendations.

Audiobook Recommendations:

𝟓. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞

You should not ignore the facts and move directly into creating skincare routines and blindly following advice on the internet.

You should instead educate yourself on which practices maintain the health of your skin.

Besides keeping your skin healthy and beautiful, a skincare routine has many other benefits like prevention of skin disease and maintaining your skin comfortable.

Having beautiful skin as you get older means making smart choices throughout your life.

The best thing you can do is educate yourself and truly understand why skincare is important, instead of applying knowledge without basis.

Skincare Articles:

𝟔. 𝐂𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚

I'm currently in the middle of doing this, and it has been life-changing.

Your social media should not be a place that creates anxiety and comparisons. It should be inspiring and uplifting.

If you feel bad after being on your socials you need a clean-up. On each social media:

Update your privacy settings. Make sure your apps are not tracking you.

Go to your followers. See who is there. that you no longer want to have access to you. Maybe it is an old friend you are keeping out of politeness or a co-worker. Respectfully remove anyone you don't feel comfortable showing your true self.

Go to the people you are following. If they cause you to compare yourself or fill you with jealousy. Remove them. Also, stop following people you don't like. Instead, follow people that inspire you. People that are doing what you want to do or have the life you are working toward.

Delete old photos and update your socials with a new one. Mark it as your new beginning on social media.

Be yourself. Don't try so hard to fit into an aesthetic or be internet famous. Share what you like and create content that aligns with your lifestyle.

Be social. Social media is fun when you engage with people you like. If someone makes you laugh drop an emoji. If they teach you something thank them. Also, the algorithms show you more of what you engage with, so engage with things that make you happy.

𝟕.𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

Something you can do all at once or little by little. Either way, it must be done.

Decluttering increases productivity and creativity. It opens space for new and better things.

Declutter clothes, shoes, and books. See what you have and what you need.

Revisit old versions of yourself and prioritize the current one. What do YOU need? How do you want to dress? What do you want to read?

Give away what does not align with that perspective.

Choose 1 or 2 maximum and start working on it every day. Remember that 4 months will pass no matter what you do, so you may as well try and build a better version of yourself.

Hope this article helped. Don't forget to reblog.

[moon-light-jukebox]

see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 3

masterlist

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: Months after Reader left, Reid has tried to put his life back together. He’s never stopped trying to find Reader, but he may find her in the worst way possible. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k for Chapter 3

Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. This series has a villain, and he harms women. There is no s*xual assault, but there is brief talk of torture, and then the death of the victims. Spoiler: Our unsub targets pregnant women, one of the infants does not survive. Reader and her baby are fine. I don't go into detail, but if you need to skip this, I understand. 

A/n: How can I ever thank you all enough for being so patient with me? That being said, this chapter does end on a cliffhanger that you probably saw coming if you read “River” by @yours-truly-r​. She shared this plot with me, so this is my version. I’ll try my best not to make you wait too long for chapter 4. Chapter 3 & 4 are in Spencer’s point of view, but the remainder of the series will be in Reader’s POV. 

-- Linear Progression -- 

(Spencer’s POV)

The night we came back from my first case with the BAU, Morgan declared that he was going to a bar near his apartment to "get lucky." When I pointed out the fact that it was almost 2 am, he had told me, "time is an illusion, Pretty Boy."

That was the first time he called me pretty boy, along with the first time I tried to explain a theoretical concept he had no interest in hearing.

He was right to a degree. The way we understand time is an illusion. Time doesn’t happen in the linear way that we as a society perceive it to. The physics of time are still widely debated, but the running hypothesis is that everything that has ever happened is still happening right now. Every single moment in time is happening all at once, and it always will be.

Morgan didn’t “get lucky” that night, but he did give me a ride back to my apartment. I think that was the beginning of our friendship; I had never been able to understand the social constructs of relationships and friendships, but I think he felt some sort of responsibility for the skinny kid with glasses who was babbling about the physics of time at 3 am.

My friendship with Derek Morgan was one of the most important of my life.

Which is why I wasn't going to murder him for banging on my door at 7 am.

“Open up, Pretty Boy!”

Grumbling, I got out of bed and padded down the hallway towards my living room where Morgan was pounding on the door so hard, I was concerned it was going to fly off its hinges.

“If you break my door, you’re gonna fix it,” I muttered out when I finally pulled the door open.

The man who was the closest thing to a brother I had just smiled at me. “I restore houses, kid. It’d be an improvement.”

Smirking, I waved him into my apartment. In the months since…Since February, Morgan had made it a habit of coming by several times a week whenever we were in town. I don’t know if the rest of the team knew he did it, I don’t know if they were as worried about me as he was, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

“Coffee?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.

"We'll grab some on the way," he said, flopping down on my couch. "We have a case; I told Hotch I'd swing by and get you. It's wheels up as soon as we get there and finish the briefing."

I frowned. “I didn’t get any message.”

“I know. I asked Garcia to let me wake you.” He turned his head around to look at me. “You haven’t been sleeping, kid.”

He wasn’t wrong. “It’s…I’m trying, Derek.”

I didn’t need to say it, because he knew it. Much like time, recovery isn’t a linear process. You start, you stumble, you go back, sometimes you go up then down. It’s an imperfect journey because there isn’t a finish line; addiction can’t be beaten, only beaten back.

Derek Morgan had been beside me through every step of my recovery.

Lumbering off the couch, he walked over to stand before me. “Reid, you’re doing the best you can. Everyone stumbles.”

I shook my head. “It’s different. I can…I can still see it. I can still see it all, Morgan.”

I could still see the look on Ben’s face when he found the vials of Dilaudid I had hidden all around my apartment. I could still remember the look on Hotch’s face when he told me she was gone. I could still see the anger on Garcia’s face when she refused to help me find her.

Most of all, I remember how y/n looked when I told her I would kill her, give up her precious life, for one more moment with Maeve. Every morning, right before I wake up, that memory flashes behind my eyes.

I’ve called in every favor I’m owed, reached out to every connection; no one could find her. She vanished.

I quickly realized the only way she could vanish like that is if she had help from inside the bureau, and if I had to guess, I’m sure I know who helped her. If she went to all these lengths, she didn’t want to be found, least of all by me.

"We'll find her, Spencer," Morgan said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.

He said the words to comfort me, but even he knew they weren’t true. No one would find y/n y/l/n until she wanted to be found.

Nodding my head, I made my way back towards my bedroom to get ready for the case.

Making amends is very big in the recovery process. I wanted to make amends to y/n, and while I wanted that to be in the traditional sense, I settled for a symbolic one.

I tried to make myself into the man she thought I was before that night. Every time I felt the itch crawl up my spine, I thought of her face. It didn't make the craving go away; it just made it easier to bear.

I didn’t deserve to have her back in my life, but I wanted to be someone who did.

After I had finished getting ready, I made my way over to my bedside table to pick up the coin I carried with me everywhere, running my fingers over the edges before placing it in my pocket.

Two hundred and forty-seven days sober, and each one of them was for her.

--

We never made it to the bullpen that morning. Hotch called and informed us that it was wheels up "immediately," and that we would debrief on the plane. Morgan and I were the last members of the team to arrive. He took a seat on the couch beside Callahan while I opted to sit at the table across from Hotch and JJ.

“Garcia is going to be out for the remainder of the week. She has the flu,” our unit chief informed us, his eyes fixed on the tablet in front of him.

Morgan toyed with his phone, no doubt trying to text his ‘baby girl’ before take-off. “Who is going to be running things from here since she’s out? Kevin?”

Hotch nodded, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed distracted. “He’s the most familiar with Garcia’s systems.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days,” Rossi muttered just a bit too loudly, earning a mock glare from Hotch, a confused look from Kate, an eye roll from Morgan and JJ, and a soft huff of laughter from me.

“Let’s get started,” Hotch ordered, drawing all of our focus back to the present. “The Oregon State Police have requested our help.”

I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the tablet in front of me, further proof Garcia wasn’t on this case. Despite how mad she was at me over Y/n, she still always accommodated my wishes for paper files.

The state police?” Morgan asked. “Not the locals?”

"No," Hotch answered, right as I brought up an image on my screen. "He's not sticking to one county."

I heard a strangled gasp from JJ, but I didn't need to look up to know why. “How many?” I asked.

“When the original request was made two women had been abducted. Both of them were pregnant, days from giving birth, and both from the same town of Silverton, Oregon. The first victim was Iris Jenkins. She was a 31-year-old woman, and she was 40 weeks and 2 days gestation when she was taken by the unsub. The M.E. estimates he held her for less than 24 hours before she died.”

“The baby?” JJ asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“He was left outside of a local hospital in Silverton. He was completely unharmed. The next intended victim is Nancy Williamson. She was abducted outside her workplace. Also 40 weeks pregnant with a boy.”  

“Could that be a coincidence?”

Hotch still didn’t look up from his tablet. “It could have been before the latest victim.”

“But Nicole Williamson escaped?” Morgan asked. “That’s lucky. Did she give a description of the guy?”

“No, she said he kept her blindfolded and bound to a chair.”

That caused me to pause. "That doesn't make sense. Why would the unsub blindfold them if he plans on killing them anyway?"

Rossi spoke for the first time. “Psychological torture? Sensory deprivation?”

I thought about that as I swiped through the crime scene photos; pausing when I saw a photograph of a letter on the screen. "He makes them write letters?”

“Just the first victim and the third. The one that got away was only held for 12 hours.”

I frowned. “Is this blood? Or just red ink?”

“The first is red ink, the second letter is still being processed.”

It was obvious based on the letter spacing and how many loops were in the letters that a woman wrote this letter. Based on the contents of the letter, I could also assume she was under duress.

Hotch spoke again, pulling my focus. “Morgan, I'd like for you and JJ to drive up to Silverton. Visit Miss Williamson and ask if she's up for a cognitive interview, then visit the M.E., ask him if he remembers anything about the first victim.”

“Where was the…” JJ’s question trailed off when he got to the same image Kate’s hand had been frozen over for the last 47 seconds, the same photo that was described in the incident report that Hotch had on his screen.

My unit chief, my friend, cleared his throat before he spoke. “Kayla Whitmore was found an hour ago in Eugene, Oregon. The autopsies are already underway, and the scene is being processed.”

“The cause of death seems pretty apparent,” Morgan said with a look of disgust on his face.

"The time between this most recent kill and the last abduction is much shorter. We need to move fast," Hotch said, his voice grave. "Kate, I'd like for you to come with me to the FBI satellite office in Bend, that's where we're landing. Kayla Whitmore's credit card was used to buy gas right outside the town limits. Rossi, I'd like for you and Reid to ride out to Eugene. It should be undisturbed."

"I already don't understand this guy," Rossi muttered. "The first baby survives, the third doesn't. The second victim is blindfolded, but it doesn't appear the others were. He makes them write their own letters. Then he uses the third victim's credit card. This behavior…it's erratic."

“Is the message on the wall the same in both crime scenes?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

--

The media hadn’t named our unsub yet, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, especially once word of Kayla Whitmore reached the public. This type of violence always draws attention.

Rossi was moving around the room, silent, but his eyes moving rapidly over everything. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that.”

I nodded. “Do we have the original note?” One of the deputies brought over an evidence bag, inside of it was the wrinkled piece of paper. “Have we analyzed this yet?”

The man nodded. “It’s red ink, just like the last.”

"It makes sense; blood might start to coagulate and make it more difficult to work with. Rossi, come here." I called, offering him the note.

“Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked,” he read. “It sounds biblical.”

“It is. It’s Psalm 82, verses 3 through 4.”

“Was the first note biblical?”

“The first victim was made to write, ‘Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.’ That’s from Ephesians. There are similar themes in both letters.”

“So, he’s perverting the bible to fit his own fucked up narrative? How original.” The older man handed the paper back to me. “We have to find out how he’s choosing them.”

My gaze moved over to the right wall of the room. "Did the unsub leave any prints when he wrote on the wall?"

It wasn't the first message I'd seen written in blood, but I don't think it's something you ever get used to. “’Do you see this, son of man?’ could be another biblical reference. It’s Ezekiel chapter 8, verse 17. “Do you see this, son of man? Yet you will see still greater abominations than these.’”

“So, are the children abominations? Or the mothers?” The deputy said quietly.

“The mothers,” I answered. “He doesn’t harm the children. I think it must go against his…moral code.”

The deputy scoffed behind me, and I was inclined to agree; the idea that someone could do something like this and have a moral code was almost impossible to imagine.

But devils hide in plain sight all the time.

“His rage is escalating,” I pointed out.

I heard the deputy ask Rossi what that meant.

“This guy is a bum,” the man who developed the art of profiling explained. "He can't get a girlfriend, and he has this idea in his mind that it’s the women’s fault. He thinks women owe him sex, love, whatever he wants.”

I walked away from the wall, turning to face the two men. “He thinks they’re dirty, unclean. It’s why he makes them write the note.  By making them say they deserved what he did to them, he’s humiliating them even after death.”

The deputy’s face was pale as he survived the scene around him. “Why does he make them leave the messages in their own blood?”

“Only one message is from them,” I replied, gesturing to the evidence bag. “The message in the blood is from the unsub.”

Before we exited the room, I turned back to that message again, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Both victims had been discovered in the exact same way. The women were naked, stabbed multiple times, but with no signs of sexual assault. They were positioned in the middle of the blood-soaked mattress, their arms spread wide.

He had left the same message on the walls of the room, written in the blood of the woman he killed.

“Do you see this, son of man? Do you see?”

--

“The media is calling him The Prophet.”

Rossi scoffed. “I bet it was that wet behind the ears deputy who leaked the note and told him the kid’s biblical theories.”

Rossi and I had arrived at the FBI office in Bend, Oregon about an hour ago. Kate and Hotch had already set up; JJ and Morgan were on their way back from Silverton now.

“So, what do we know about this jag-off?” Rossi questioned, staring at the evidence board.

Hotch came to stand at the head of the conference table, his eyes sharp, his voice clipped. "Reid, Dave, what did the M.E. say about the Eugene autopsies?”

"He said he suspected it was a botched c-section. Kayla was just over 40 weeks pregnant, but he said it's not uncommon for first-time mothers to go up to 42 weeks.”

“I know that’s right,” I heard JJ mutter from the speaker placed in the center of the table.

“Indicates a lack of medical knowledge,” Morgan offered. “Because we know this guy isn’t squeamish.”

I agreed with my friend but didn't comment on it; my mind already on another topic. "What's interesting is that Kayla had an anterior placenta, meaning it attached to the front of her uterus. Usually, the placenta attaches to the posterior wall, meaning it's more towards her back. Because of the unusual placement of the placenta, I think that the death of this fetus was accidental."  

“It wasn’t a fetus, Reid,” Kate snapped. “It was a baby.”

I cleared my throat, meeting her angry gaze. I knew Callahan was the guardian of a young girl, and based on my years working with fellow agents who were also parents, I knew it was best not to argue about definitions and semantics. "I'm sorry, Kate," I murmured.

Her gaze softened. "It's fine. Sorry. This case is just…this is a lot." She looked down to swipe across her tablet screen. "This child was a boy too?"

I nodded. “All three of the victims were pregnant with boys.”

“So, he wants boys?”

Rossi turned to Kate. “He wants mothers of boys. Probably his way of killing his mother over and over again.”

“But how does he know the babies are boys?” JJ asked.

“So, what do they have in common?” Hotch asked. “Let’s add Nicole Williamson into the mix too, what do we have?”

“There were quotes from the bible in the two complete notes. Those specific verses are often referenced when they speak about protecting children,” I said, my eyes moving over the files. “The women were all in their 20’s. They were all at least 39 weeks pregnant, and...huh, there’s not a father named in any of the medical charts.”

“But how does he know that!” JJ huffed again in frustration.

“And are we sure this unsub is a guy?” Callahan questioned. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”

“If we follow statistics, women take babies, and men take children. With that in mind, it would be safe to assume this was a woman, but the amount of rage we’re seeing makes me think it’s a man.” I turned my back to the team, my eyes moving over the crime scene photos. "The letter was written under duress, but the language is very misogynic. Based on the information Kevin gathered about Kayla's online life, she had a normal amount of self-esteem. It's out of character that she'd talk about herself this way. By all accounts, she was excited for the baby. It's also incredibly difficult to stab someone 54 times. All the women would have fought him until the end. He'd have to be stronger to subdue her. It's a biological instinct, mothers' will stop at nothing to protect their children."

Hotch had pulled out his phone before I finished speaking, dialing Kevin Lynch to give him the criteria of the person we were searching for. "We need women in the Bend, Oregon area that are close to giving birth. There will not be fathers listed on the medical charts. She'll be at least 39 weeks into her pregnancy."

“Alright, so that would leave us with…” Kevin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before an alarm started blaring over the speaker, almost drowning out Kevin’s yelp of surprise.

“What is it?” Hotch asked. “Did something happen?”

"I…I don't know, sir," Kevin answered after he had finally gotten the alarm to quiet. "I was running the search, and…it triggered some sort of system-wide alarm. It completely locked me out of Penny’s system.”

Morgan clicked his tongue. “That doesn’t make any sense. Penelope wouldn’t set some alarm without a reason.”

“Wait. Kevin, was there any sort of message that came up when you triggered the alarm?” Hotch asked, his tone urgent.

There was a weird tension on Hotch’s face while he waited for Kevin to reply. “Yeah, uh, just a dialogue box that says ‘Nightingale.’”

“Nightingale?” Kate asked. “Isn’t that the…”

Hotch didn't reply; he hung up abruptly while Kevin was still speaking. I felt a chill run down my spine when I noticed his hands trembled slightly.

“What is it, Hotch?” Rossi asked urgently.

But he never got a chance to answer; a deputy stormed into the room. "We just got a report of an abandoned car outside of a grocery store about half a mile from here. It's registered to a young woman, and there was an empty infant car seat strapped in the back."

Hotch took the paper from him but didn't look at it. His eyes were screwed shut, and his shoulders were tense.

I heard when the voice spoke on the other end of the line. I heard the deep breath Hotch let out before he spoke.

“Penelope, I need to know where y/n is.”

----------

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[danideservedbetter]

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

[funkymbtifiction]

I have an XNFP friend whose tritype I’m pretty sure is 2w1 phobic 6w7 9w1 (not sure about the order, though), while I (ENFP) think mine is 3w4 cp 6w7 9w8. I am always calling her out for being a doormat for everybody... [...]  This kind of situation, akin to a limbo, drives me crazy in all sorts of relationships. Which makes me think maybe I am not 9-fixed like she is, but 8-fixed instead, even though I display many other 9 qualities, like the laziness, procrastination (in other fields, though), passiveness in some kinds of conflict situations (even though sometimes I do fight back, being usually a counter-phobic 6) and the habit of merging into such activities like sleeping, watching TV and running away to fiction as a form of escapism. What do you think? I have this tendency to want to boss people around and get mad at their life choices when they are different from what I would do, which I think may not be a 9 quality at all, as my friend perfectly embodies this whole “I respect your decision, even if I don’t understand it”.

This ask made me smile a lot, because your friend is a 9 core (hence her hatred of conflict and feeling tired of arguing when in your mind, the argument has just started, and her overall “I respect your decision even if I don’t understand it” aspect, which is core 9 + Fi-dom) and... you, my dear friend, are a 2 and not a 3. It’s the 2 who assumes the burden of thinking they know others SHOULD live and what they SHOULD do and who feel resentful if others reject their advice, and it is the 2 who moves to 8 aggression whenever they are stressed or angry, and it is the 2 who can be argumentative at times and want to FINISH THIS and not put up with any more damn nonsense! 2s are more assertive than 9s by far and more willing to have an argument.

This stems, in part, from the core ego of the 2 either over-inflating their sense of rightness and relevance in others’ lives or under-playing it. One of the core signals of a 2, whether a core 2 or a core fixer, is to tell other people what to do -- to ‘help’ and ‘guide’ them in their life’s journey and, I’m sorry to say, how they feel about it isn’t as important as what the 2 sees that needs improved. I’m not throwing shade on you, because I also do this and I can easily recognize the tendency in others. I’ve only recently begun to realize how 2 works as my own image fix -- and it involves assuming that a) when people tell me things, they expect me to fix it (a role I am eager to take on, because I know best -- as you can tell from my handing out of all kinds of unsolicited advice here on funky, including this post ;), and b) being mad when I offer unsolicited advice they choose to reject, because duh, my advice was SOUND AND GOOD.

What this means for you is that you may or may not have an 8 fix; if this happens only once in awhile -- a flare-up, assertiveness, wanting to ‘finish’ something that has started -- then it may be simply 2 moving up its line to 8, and you could still have a 9 fix in your gut center since you relate to some of the numbing out tendencies of the 9. The 2-8 interplay is more explosive, temperamental and... frankly, Molly Weasley-like (she’s a 268). But 2 and 3 are both assertive in the core space, and a 2w3 would be quite forceful on its own terms, self-confident, and want to be seen/listened to. You sound like you do have a 9 fix, although lagging behind a 2 and a 6 (the contrarian who likes to push people once in awhile) it wouldn’t do as much to halt arguments when you’re in the throes of an 8ish desire to put your cards on the table, deal with this, and then move on from a bad relationship. Once a 2 is done, they’re done.

- ENFP Mod